Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 372 - Al Madrigal
Episode Date: May 4, 2015Comedian Al Madrigal joins us to talk home improvement shows, ice cream obsession, and dance competitions....
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Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself.
Woo!
Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 372 of Stop Podcasting Yourself.
My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who's not afraid to wear a nice button-down denim shirt on a Saturday morning.
Who would be afraid?
Mr. Dave Schumacher.
It's not denim.
Oh, it looks denim. I'm sorry.
No.
It's Oxford.
It's just a blue Oxford shirt.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, I only see denim and not denim.
These are the shirts that I want you to start wearing.
Oh, yeah.
We'll get into that in a second.
Oh, fun.
You've had words.
Our guest today is on The Daily Show.
He's on an NBC show called About a Boy.
Yes.
And has his own podcast empire.
Yes.
All Things Comedy.
Tiny little podcast network.
Not even.
It's huge.
60.
60 podcasts.
60 podcasts.
Mr. Al Madrigal.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
So we had a rough night last night.
Well, let's get to know us.
Yeah.
Get to know us.
Yes, we did.
We did.
You, but you, this is the thing.
It's Friday Late Show, which is the famously bad show.
Really tough show.
Well, there's some argument.
Some people say Saturday Late Show.
But the famous thing is that, like, Steve Martin wrote this book.
Yeah, if you read the book Born Standing Up, he is, why do you stop doing stand-up comedy?
And what is it, second show Friday?
Yeah, late show Friday.
Late show Friday.
Yeah, exactly.
And the crowd was fit to be tied.
And, man.
So, everyone's been out drinking.
So, they all pre-partied.
So, now the show starts at 1030.
The comics don't go on until they had trouble seating the room.
And it was, by the time we started, it's 11 o'clock.
Then they get a couple more drinks in them.
And now we've got some drunk folks in an audience and a mob of 250.
Yeah.
Like, and, and there were these three, three dudes in the front table that were all sharing a you know buckets of beer yeah
right and uh one of them definitely looked like a guy out of like american history x yeah no he had
nazi tattoos i said do you have uh you have swastika tattoos don't you and he looked at me
he goes yeah dude but then al calls him out in the middle of the show and says yeah you're really tough like
up top and you're wearing a vest and all stuff you look really tough but then you're wearing
mom jeans and nurse shoes and he made a white nurse and i tamed this coke head he was a cut
he was doing blowing the yeah they kept all three of them kept getting up and going.
They were sitting
in the front row.
What,
why?
So I yelled at them
and then I yelled
at the guy
who sat the room.
He's the real asshole
in all of this.
Who puts three guys
who are obviously
doing cocaine
just right in the front?
Three coke Nazis.
Coke Nazis.
I had to take their bucket of beer away
at one point.
Oh, really?
That was the best.
Oh, man,
like a substitute teacher.
I said,
I'll give you another one
when I feel like
you're ready for it.
Yeah.
Really had to come in.
But from doing this
and working,
so I've had so many
horrible things happen.
I've had people
come up on stage.
I've had fights break out in audiences.
And we all start, when you're
in Los Angeles, you do, in a comedy store
regular, we do the
La Jolla Comedy Store.
San Diego is just such a horrible
place. I hate San Diego.
I'll take that, San Diego.
There's no one, it's so nice.
There's so, like, MMA
fighters and guys with, like, tribal tattoos, it's so nice. There's so like MMA fighters and guys with like tribal tattoos.
That's San Diego.
It's jock guys.
And they have this Pacific Beach, just meatheads drinking themselves to death.
And then you go out and do a show and just people are just trashed.
And so I remember having-
And just sunburned, I bet.
Yes, sunburned.
Yeah. Guy just loadedburned, I bet. Yes, sunburned. Yeah.
Guy just loaded in a captain's hat.
Yeah.
So those guys, and we all start to see really get good at dealing with aggressive crowds.
That it can go wrong and then they sense fear.
And so that's the one thing we were talking about. I remember always hearing this Buddy Hackett story of Jay Moore and Buddy Hackett at the MTV Movie Awards.
Oh, yeah.
It's like you just put random names.
Yeah, it's like Mad Libs.
No, that's when they were in the show Action that he had on Fox.
It was a great show.
And I guess Buddy Hackett looks at Jay and says, hey, kid, what are we going to do when we walk out there?
He goes, we're going to walk to the podium and read the teleprompter.
And he goes, no, kid.
No, no, no.
I go out, take a little time with it.
He goes, you look at them. You point to a lady like you know her,
you wave, and you look in the back,
you say hello to the people on the balcony,
and we slowly make our way over to the podium.
This is before we even get to the podium.
Oh, that's great.
And we stop, take our time, and then we start reading.
Have a nice lunch.
But it's like, and then, because the idea is that you make sure that everyone come to you.
And so that's what we were sort of talking about.
Yeah, yeah.
And then you asking about birthdays up front wasn't exactly the most helpful thing.
No, but, well, that's true.
Maybe it wasn't the most helpful thing.
You don't want to do anything to encourage them to speak.
Yeah.
Because they had twins.
They were twins?
Yeah, but I had a lot of fun with them.
You had a lot of fun with twins.
And we were talking about backstage.
I mean, Alan Havey was just in the audience.
He did a guest spot in the earlier show.
But we're back there.
But he wouldn't touch the late show with a 10-foot pole.
No, he's smart.
Yeah, he is smart.
So he's 60 years old
He knows
He's not getting a paycheck
No
Why deal with it
So at
We're
There were two twins
In the audience
That were 29
Male or female
Male
Twins
Identical
Who cares
Yeah
Like it mattered
But
What we were saying
Is we were hoping You were going to go.
It's like, why are you still hanging out at 29?
Yeah.
Like, what are you?
Just walk away.
You look at them.
They're wearing identical outfits.
You're like, oh, great.
Sailor suits.
Guys.
Okay.
I think when they said twins
I think everybody in the crowd
Got excited
Because they assumed
Yeah
They thought it was two ladies
And then when it was two fellas
Everybody's like
Oh gross
Everyone's minds are like
Oh yeah
They're running a bikini car wash
Or something
Nope
Just us
Yeah
Nobody gets excited
About two twin dudes
Except the property bros Yeah Oh yeah Those are two twins That every guy gets excited about two twin dudes. Except the property bros.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Those are two twins that every guy gets excited about.
Do you have them in America?
Yeah.
I love them.
They're our national twins.
I just hate when I'm watching any Canadian house hunters or property show.
Yeah.
Because I can never understand like so many weird
wallpapers and fabrics
that I've never seen.
Do we have weird wallpapers?
Yeah.
So you've just seen
my hotel room.
And it's,
no,
you should always tell
that there's,
and just unrealistic
expectations on those shows
kill me.
Like from the people
that their first time house buying. Yeah. that they're first-time housebuyers.
They're like, yeah, well, I want a hot tub, and it has to be close to the school.
Open kitchen, great school district, huge backyard, and I've got $150,000.
Yeah.
And then halfway through, it's like, we found asbestos, and your budget's cut in half.
It's always what happens.
I love the home flipping shows.
I was trying to pitch, I still am trying to pitch a parody home flipping show called Flipping the Bird.
Like Jennifer Coolidge is the...
I used to live in a snack bar restroom, but now I own 34% of Henderson, Nevada.
I'm Bernie Rodriguez.
And you're welcome to flipping the bird.
Because they always have these false deadlines.
We've got three days.
No, you don't.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
All the time.
Do you watch a lot of those shows?
I love those shows.
I can't stand them.
Can't any makeover?
I just recorded a movie with the guy, Simon.
What's his name?
The Mentalist?
Oh, Simon, not Helberg.
He's the Big Bang Theory one.
Yes.
You know, the attractive fellow.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The guy with the nice hair.
The Mentalist.
Yeah, come on, guys.
The Mentalist.
He might be.
He's Mentalist Simon.
I thought he was medium.
Come on, guys.
The mentalist. He might be.
He's mentalist Simon.
I thought he was medium.
So I just recorded a movie called Something New because he played the role of a landscaper.
Okay.
And he was going to go over and redo this lady's backyard and fall in love with her.
But I just wanted to, I skipped all the love part just to see what he ended up doing in the backyard.
So any kind of, is it?
Oh, the before and after photo on anything, I'm into.
I love.
Human makeovers or just house?
No, I like house.
House?
I say property, flipping home.
What about restaurant?
Oh, restaurant impossible?
Yeah, or like who's that guy, Bar Rescue? That greasy guy that comes in?
Hotel Nightmares.
Yeah, yeah.
I want to see all that stuff.
I like people going in and going, all right, it used to be Miami Beach's top hotel.
Now it's in ruin.
I got it.
I always like when the people, like, they know this guy's coming, right?
So you think, ah, we'll vacuum a bit, you know?
Yeah.
We'll get it ready because this guy's going to come. Like, at least put our best foot forward, they know this guy's coming, right? So you think, ah, we'll vacuum a bit, you know? Yeah. We'll get it ready because this guy's going to come.
Like, at least put our best foot forward, you know?
But then he comes in and there's, like, rotten stuff in the freezer.
There's nobody at the bell desk.
We don't know how much of that is produced, too.
Right.
Where there's, like, hair drops.
They got a little bag of dead cockroaches.
It's just sprinkling.
Blood just coming out of the elevator
Put the blood
That was my favorite
Was Gordon Ramsay
When he would go
Kitchen Nightmares
Oh you know what else I like
Is that undercover bar
Restaurant show
Where they
Oh where they put the cameras
Cameras
Look at this guy
He's eating off the plates
Look at this guy
Look at my restaurant Look at him Oh. He's eating off the plates. Look at this guy.
Look at my restaurant.
Look at his.
What's he doing now?
He's putting salamis in his pocket.
They go nuts.
And that's the other thing, too.
Those guys know the show's happening, right?
They know.
I don't know.
Yeah, maybe they're not giving the heads up that it's going to be undercover.
Oh, yeah, I guess. Maybe they put in the cameras off.
I cry when I watch Undercover Boss. Oh, yeah, I guess. Maybe they put in the cameras off. I cry when I watch undercover boss.
Oh, yeah.
You like that?
Oh, they always pull at your heartstrings.
Yeah.
They always find one person who needs to improve,
one struggling single mother who's working an 18-hour shift,
and they put the boss in the worst wig and makeup,
and glasses with it, so you clearly have a camera in them.
And how do they justify
that at this point
everyone's got to know
this is a show.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Cameras are falling around
this new employee.
This new employee.
Ridge.
Who's like 55 years old.
Yeah.
And starting in the mail room.
Yeah, he's the only guy
allowed to have
a giant beard here.
And okay, well, I guess we're changing the rules for this one guy.
Now, speaking of giant beards.
Uh-oh.
Yeah, this is...
Do you also like makeover shows?
Well, the ones that are going to happen.
Al has a proposal for me that he thinks...
Well, you go ahead.
Well, we talked about the beard, and I think what happens to a lot of people are doing comedy for 13 years.
Say.
Say.
I have a random number.
They always, and this happens in L.A. all the time.
I see it constantly.
Everyone tries to come up with some sort of look.
Right.
You definitely have a distinct look.
Yeah.
But you've had this beard for how long?
Years and years.
That is a long grown.
But when did you last trim it?
Oh, I trim it all the time, you know, otherwise it would just go.
And I assume listeners are all very familiar with how long this beard is.
Yeah.
You've got, that's at least, what, seven inches
of beard.
Yeah, of beard.
People will just send us
emails and Facebook posts
of like a vagrant
and be like,
I saw Graham.
I think this is Graham.
Is Graham on the thing?
Yeah.
They found Graham's body.
It drifted up onto the shore.
Is Graham dead? Because I think they found his body. But we talked about onto the shore. Is Graham dead?
Because I think he found his body.
What we talked about is there's so much going on in Vancouver. I really enjoy acting, and you seem like a guy who could do some acting, but unless you're
going to play the court jester in Sons of Anarchy.
Yeah, you sound like I could be the funny guy.
All right, before we string up this black guy,
Glenn's going to do
some time.
Hey!
Yeah.
Hey,
anyone got a birthday?
Yeah,
that's right.
Twins.
Twins?
Yeah.
Woo!
Oh,
they're guys.
Which,
again,
is a funny character.
If you do,
like,
biker, like, really funny, jovial biker.
Do I want to kill you?
They're doing observational humor while you, like, just murder people and sell drugs.
What's the deal with, you know, what's with the meth heads in the source?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Just all very specific.
What's with the meth heads? The guy's laughing, like, just before you're going to kill him. Yeah Yeah Just all very specific What?
With the
The guy's laughing
Like just before
You're gonna kill him
Like ah it's good
This guy's good
Just to send people out
With a laugh
Yeah
It's part of a new initiative
We've got going in our
So if you're doing that
I'm in
Yeah
But there's not
There's so few roles
Of that
Yeah that's true.
That's true.
And with all the production that's going on here in Vancouver, I just say it might be something that you could explore.
You have this great setup.
You live in a fantastic city.
You have this great podcast and comedy.
You're doing comedy on your own terms pretty much.
And there's always that.
We were talking about the parable of the Mexican fisherman.
You never told me it.
Oh, it's great.
We got interrupted in there.
Well, you heard this.
No.
Oh, it's my favorite thing ever because I don't want to-
That's not the old man in the sea, is it?
No.
Because he was a Mexican.
He was a Mexican.
Was he Cuban maybe?
Cuban maybe So
This fisherman
Mexican fisherman on a dock
Brings in his catch
Yellowfin tuna
Maybe say it's Cabo San Lucas
And it's a rich
White guy from the United States
Banker type
Comes up and he goes oh that's amazing
That's what you just caught
How long were you out there
Because it's already early
And he says oh yeah well He goes, oh, that's amazing. That's what you just caught? How long were you out there? Because it's already early.
And he says, oh, yeah, well, I just take what I need.
And then I go and I, you know, nap with my wife.
And then I play with my kids.
We have dinner.
And then I go and I play guitar with my friends and drink a little wine in town and repeat.
That's pretty good.
Yeah, it's great.
And so then the guy goes, no, no, you're doing it all wrong.
See, you can stay out longer.
You get much more fish.
You buy a nicer boat.
Then you get three boats.
You can sell the company.
You can even go to take it to IPO and to have this huge commercial fish company.
You're obviously very good at this.
And then the guy says, and what then?
I have this huge commercial fishing company.
You're obviously very good at this.
And then the guy says, and what then?
And then he goes, and then you can retire rich and take a nap and hang out with your wife and play with your kids and have dinner and go into town and play guitar with your friends. So, like, how hard do we need to work?
How hard do we need to, you know, what do we need?
What are we doing here?
So, I have this whole thing where i just want to
work enough yeah and that i really do it just there is a very because obviously you can have
all the money in the world and be just a mess we see that constantly with the lottery winners
yeah oh yeah just exactly so um yeah i just think With your baby And with this
And your fact
That you have
No baby
No baby
Now let's talk about
Everyone
Talking about acting
As a potential thing
That you could do
Sure
Be doing up here
On a regular basis
And you said
I'm not a good actor
What did you do
You haven't taken
Any acting classes
And really
No that's true
So maybe it's something
You could explore
Now if you're going
To do that
Which I think you should.
I love this.
Yeah, this is some real, like, hands-on life coaching.
Yeah, yeah.
We're going to lose the beard.
Yeah.
Because we discovered last night, look at this three bearded guys in a room.
It used to be that you were the guy.
I was the only guy with a beard.
And now.
Yeah, ever.
Yeah, right?
Exactly.
It was Creedence Clearwater, Ravail, and then.
I don't think they had beards, did they?
Didn't they?
No.
They just sounded like they did.
You're thinking of ZZ Top.
ZZ Top.
But yeah, now everybody has a beard.
And that's.
But see, the thing is, if I don't have a beautiful head of hair like you have, or Dave has, I
got my hairs going, you know,
and I'll just be like a fat,
uh,
faced balding guy.
If I get rid of the beard.
So that's what I worried.
Cause does anybody want to see that?
Is that a thing people are interested in?
You say yes,
but I don't know.
Maybe he's just trying to get rid of the competition.
It's not,
it's not competition.
It's, uh, yeah, I have ethnic nerd held down. It's not. It's not competition.
Yeah.
I have ethnic nerd held down.
Right. Like, I am.
Yeah, yeah.
I had a really funny story about that where I was, because when you audition in LA, they don't care how they color something up.
They just want to color it up.
Right.
So, they always have these roles.
And now that's changing a little bit because of the success of Empire in Black. I can't believe it's taken this long for them to go the other way and actually want leads in these roles.
But before Scandal and Shonda TV, they're just trying to, they know they have an all-white show.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And they want to put it in.
So I go into an audition for No Ordinary Family.
I think it was with Michael Chiklis.
Oh, with the Supergirl family.
And they want an ethnic friend.
Right.
Best friend.
Did he have superpowers?
No.
Oh, no.
He was just saying, man, you can break through walls.
What?
That's pretty good.
Wow!
Yeah.
So, they, I go into the audition, and it's an Asian guy, me, and Michael Strahan.
We just want, you know.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Something.
Something.
We don't know what it is.
A little something something is what we want.
Who got it?
That guy from 40-Year-Old Virgin Romany.
Romany?
Romany Melko.
Romany Melko.
Oh, wow.
He's got the same birthday as my wife.
Wow.
That's a great bit of tidbit for future trivia.
If we're going to really get into the show
and geeking out
and sending in pictures.
Look.
Yeah.
He was on the TV show
Weeds
with Kevin Nealon.
Kevin Nealon
also has the same birthday
as my wife.
What?
So that must have been
a very big day
on the Weeds set.
And so does
one other cast member.
One of the women.
Really?
I think she was the woman from Big.
Oh, yeah.
Her name escapes me.
She was the older sister.
Yeah, Mary, what's her name?
Mary.
That's Dean Virgin.
No, it's not her.
Anyway.
I had the woman who was born on November 18th.
Yeah.
Wow.
Yeah.
So there's a little Weeds trivia
That's great
So he's also in the new
Amazon show
With Steve Zahn
Called
Dogs
No one's watching
Those Amazon
No
We don't get them here
We can't get them here
We have Amazon Prime
But they don't make
The TV
Why
I signed up for
Amazon Prime
And then it said Oh yeah you can't have it I'm like So. I signed up for Amazon Prime and then it said, oh yeah, you can't have it.
I'm like, so I just signed up for a thing for fast delivery?
I don't understand the global, because Netflix, I just watched Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt last night.
But it's different stuff in Canada.
The Netflix programming is all there, but
movies are released at different times
or not at all here.
Yeah, like there's
Canadian Netflix and American Netflix
and I don't know. I don't get it.
I don't know why we have that.
So, Michael Strahan is sitting
there. I'm sitting there.
This is pre-Kelly
and Michael.
And I guess I figured. This is pre-Kelly and Michael. Yeah.
This is.
And I guess I walked.
This is right after he had a TV show called Brothers.
Yeah.
I remember that.
Oh, man.
Why do I remember that?
So I figured this is my one opportunity to talk smack to Michael Strahan.
Yeah.
Never will this moment come up again.
Oh, don't sell yourself short. I'm not going to get this.
Come on.
Maybe I'll be on the show and I'll tell that story
and he'll remember
because it was very memorable.
I walk up to Michael Strahan
and I go,
hey, huge man.
Yeah.
And I said,
guess this means
no more brothers, huh?
And he looks at me
like, what is happening?
And he gets, but he knows immediately because happening? And he gets what he knows immediately.
Because all those guys on the offensive, defensive line in football just talk smack.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The entire time.
So he gets what I'm doing.
So where I go, he goes, no, no more brothers.
And I said, so let me get this straight.
You do the Subway sandwich commercials.
You're on the Fox Sunday morning football show
You won the Super Bowl
You played in the NFL for 10 years
Now you come into my house
You think you can do this?
I go
You can't do this
This is what I do
Yeah
This is where I live
I'm ethnic friend
And what did he say?
He was dying laughing
He really was
He got it right away
And then
I sat down to look
At my lines again
Just said alright
See you later
And he came
To give it to me
Oh yeah I'm sure
He goes
Oh you don't have that memorized?
What are you nervous?
And I go
No
Nobody else has got this.
This is ethnic friend.
Ethnic friend.
It's weird because it's like,
I'm not sure that the offensive and defensive lines
give it to each other
because the offensive line is kind of like.
On guard, just nervous.
Yeah, they're bent over.
I think there's a lot of smack talk.
But the defensive line, it can.
They're dishing it out.
Yeah, because they're about to come at them.
So he's used to dishing it out and then I went over and gave him the business.
But anyway, back to this character actor thing.
I think you, with the mustache, short hair, a Oxford blue shirt.
Yeah.
I believe the catchphrase you tossed around that I should use is, hey, fellas.
Hey.
Or hey, folks.
Hey, folks.
That's. That would be my new catchphrase. Hey Hey folks That's
That would be my new catchphrase
Hey folks
Gene Pompous
To go on
Hey there
Hey
Hey folks
How's it going folks
Thanks for coming
Would you
Just really dial up
The Canadian a little bit
Yeah
I see on every show
Yep
Yep
I don't know
I'm Like cause you You've got You've got life figured out I think a little bit. Yeah. I see on every show. Yep. Yep. I don't know.
Like,
because you've got life figured out,
I think.
Yeah.
I do have
You've got these
three fishing boats.
anger thing
that I'm trying
to work on.
But that was
the greatest part
of the show.
I explain it up front.
I have anger. I overreact and I get mad. Then, throughout the show, I just it up front. I have anger. I overreact
and I get mad. Then throughout the show
I just overreact.
Guy crinkles a plastic bottle.
Oh yeah, he screams at him.
What are you recycling?
Yelling at everybody.
Because I really do, it's like a mob
that you have to punch in the face a little bit.
I love that you have an idea of what
to do with Graham.
Yeah.
Like, because I watch.
Yeah, because nobody's given me any suggestions.
The reality show that I really like is America's Next Top Model.
And like three or four episodes in, everybody gets a makeover.
And they have an idea.
Like, it's not the same makeover.
Everyone's getting like, you're getting a, now they have men on the show.
And it's like like this season they
gave the guy a fake beard a beard weave and like you're getting a beard weave you're going a short
red hair and like you're we're dying your eyebrows and like everyone gets their own thing and uh it's
super specific and i like that you already have it worked out for grant yeah well i just do me do me
you look great thank you pretty much
both wearing the exact same thing same exact we have the same glasses yeah so this is what i'm
thinking is that with this whole new thing because you're 35 years old and when this is your last
chance i know no no but just why not the hustle and just try to make it happen because we don't want to
be left with regrets at 50.
No.
And there's just plenty of time to do stuff after 50.
I mean, you can see.
But look at Alan Havey who's here.
Yeah.
Who's played, what, Gil on Mad Men or do you guys?
I can't remember his character's name.
He was a cartoonist.
He took over for Don Draper.
He wore cardigans.
Yeah.
Yeah, he wore cardigans all the time.
And his, you know, he's been in Louie and Curb Your Enthusiasm,
but it's very rewarding, this acting.
So you should consider it.
See, and I've never thought about it, really,
like until you've been talking. Yeah, because you were saying it's so much fun, and I was like thought about it, really, like until you've been talking.
Yeah, because you were saying it's so much fun, and I was like, I don't know, is it fun?
Yeah, because I acted in high school, not like professionally, but like I did drama stuff, or drama, as you say, in America.
Man, do we get nailed for that.
Oh, boy, yeah.
It's just a few tweaks that make this show completely off
and uh but like i've auditioned for stuff as an adult and i've been like oh this is miserable oh
and and then eventually i i stopped because i was like well if i feel this miserable at the
auditions that i feel like a total phony what What if I got the job? I would feel like I'm wasting everyone's time and they're all like lugging cables around.
I'm just sitting there sipping tea, not knowing what I'm doing.
But you said like you don't mind the auditions.
I don't know.
It's a great opportunity.
You're lucky to be called in for them.
And you just, that's the other thing is, hey, I was reading Robert Downey Jr.
when he wanted Iron Man really bad.
He had to really lobby for it.
For a second, I thought you meant Robert De Niro.
No.
Yeah, you wouldn't.
That would have been a weird way to go with it.
Yeah.
I can't do good enough Robert De Niro as Iron Man.
De Niro as Iron Man.
What does it look like when a guy like Robert Downey Jr. has to lobby for a part?
So he was able to do his lines and knew the script in and out, could write it in French, read it upside down, just knew everything about it and was the Iron Man expert. And so it's always the only thing that I really learned is work harder than
everybody else and you'll get it.
Right.
Might as well give that a shot.
You know, there is the parable, you know, the Mexican fisherman thing.
But my whole deal is why not just bust your ass until 50.
Right.
Just to see what happens.
And then at 50, reevaluate. And then you can
just assess from there. But why not just
do everything in your power to be
super productive and ambitious
just to 50. Were you always
like this or is this new? Well,
when I got to LA, I
was cast in, because I worked
for my parents' family business, firing people.
I saw up in the air with Church Clean. I did that.
And I mentioned this on other podcasts and so i had a whole life there i could have done
stand up on the side right and then i could have just worked for my parents family business and
everything would be fine and i'd be i was miserable thing in that line of work oh i was cool so you
didn't you didn't go like no ah, ah. No, you can't
because you have to be the guy
that calms angry people down.
So what was your outlet?
Did you have an outlet?
Like, what did you do?
Well, I went and I volunteered
with the Big Brothers Big Sisters.
Oh, right.
And I yelled at some kids.
Stained glass classes.
No, I didn't yell at anyone.
This is all stuff
that doesn't seem like
it would help with anger. Yeah, no, it is. No. Yeah, stained glass classes? Stained glass classes. No, I didn't yell at anyone. This is all stuff that doesn't seem like it would help with anger.
Yeah, no, it is.
Like, you'd be around glasses.
Yeah, stained glass classes.
Stained glass classes.
It was very calming.
And I felt like I was giving back.
You were trying to calm the waters.
Yeah.
Yeah, okay.
All right, all right.
You're bottling it up.
Yeah.
I.
I meant to bottle making glasses.
Yeah.
And we just put the anger Right inside
And we just
See it light up
And everything's fine
I would
Do all this
And then
Just started stand up
And then
After I got
Cast in this sitcom
Then I moved to LA
Right So So you were like It's all happening Yeah but I Did the pilot for the sitcom after I got cast in this sitcom, then I moved to LA. Right.
So you were like, it's all happening.
Yeah, but I did the pilot for the sitcom
and went back to work firing people the next Monday.
So I had people walking around with a headset going,
we have Al walking into the building.
And then the next day, it's like, Al, Dolores on line three.
Okay.
Hey, Dolores.
How you doing?
So I had to fire all sorts of people. on line three. Okay. Hey, Loris. How you doing? So,
I had to
fire all sorts
of people
and it's very
stressful
but when I moved
down there
to Los Angeles,
I had this young
family
and the show
got taken away
right away.
So,
now I'm in
Los Angeles,
I had the,
you know,
security
of the family
business
to fall back on
but now I don't.
Where was that?
I'm going back.
So it's Northern California.
Okay.
So then I, uh, living in, had to get rid of the house that we rented and now I'm living
in a mold infested little apartment.
Ugh.
Ugh.
And had that one thing going on now that I just dwell on what had happened in the past
there.
Yeah.
With the show.
But you had to get an action.
I had to get an action.
So that I got, I always hustled and had five things going on that I was working on.
And now all five things are happening.
Whereas before I would just concentrate on the one thing that was like had gone away.
Right.
And so now I just want to, you're an independent contractor.
Yeah.
And you're so reliant on others.
That's why I started All Things Comedy.
And that's why I am doing as much as I possibly can just to see what happens if I really try.
Because, you know, you have the Malcolm Gladwell did 10,000 hours, you know.
Oh, yeah.
I only learned that concept like a couple weeks ago.
There's a guy now that I just saw, and I saw this in an in-flight magazine,
but he's playing golf and he's 5,000 hours in
and he wants to be a professional golfer to see if he can go from zero.
Like no golf, right.
Didn't know how to play golf.
Right.
And he saved up all his money so he could golf, do 10,000 hours of golf.
How old is he?
He was 30.
Oh, okay.
So not.
Yeah, he's got time.
Yeah.
So he's going to try to pull that off.
But anyway, just see what you can do with these experts.
And then, you know, what are we going to do with that?
Yeah, yeah.
I don't know.
I think this acting thing, I'm really excited about you
in a cubicle.
I'm excited that somebody's
interested in my future.
You're saying I'm excited
about you in a cubicle?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Him in a cubicle
as the guy who works
just adjacent
to the main character.
Right, right.
And I lean over.
What?
What's going on this week?
TGIF.
Am I right?
I say stuff like that.
I tell you what me and Helen are doing.
Yeah, you got a wife named Helen?
We're a swinger.
It's a fun show.
Yeah.
It's like, what was it, Steve Martin
in an interview said like,
because he doesn't have kids, right?
But he plays dads all the time.
Oh, yeah. And somebody was like,
how are you so good with kids and stuff?
He's like, I'm just acting.
He's acting.
That's really funny.
Just pretending that I'm a dad.
I was watching.
You know, we're all acting.
That movie, Parenthood, that he was in with Rick Moranis and everybody.
That was on TV a couple months ago, and he's 35 in it.
He's 45 in real life.
He's just always had white hair.
Yeah.
But it's like, I don't buy that as you are my age.
Yeah.
Now, where is Rick Moranis?
He retired.
Yeah.
I know he retired.
He's a Martin Short, Don Knotts, Rick Moranis,
the reasons why I wanted to be a comic actor.
I love those three guys so much.
Don Knotts.
Don Knotts.
Oh, man.
But I think Rick Moranis, he had like a-
Is he here?
Is he in Vancouver?
No, probably Toronto or LA or something.
He had a sick family.
His wife is sick.
Same with Martin Short, wife had cancer.
Yeah, and Rick Moranis' wife passed away,
and then he was like, I can't keep acting and take care of my kids,
so I'm going to just take care of my kids.
And then he shrunk them.
Yeah, which was, yeah, you leave them alone with that shrinking, right?
Yeah.
But he had enough shrunk the kids' FU money to just.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, like he was.
But I think people, people like genuinely miss that
guy oh yeah but like you could be i mean you could make honey i shrunk the kids and then retire in a
leave them lead a modest life like sure as long as you don't live you know a giant house. No, Yahoo serious, I'm sure is fine. Yeah,
it is about farming
and we're making something
and being a baker
or just,
you know,
you're still being creative.
You're still producing.
Screenwriter is great
because you can live
on Vancouver Island.
Oh,
and just say,
yeah,
send it in.
Yeah.
That's true.
Here's this draft of it.
Well, I heard like Michael Keaton, he was up until this kind of.
Birdman.
Yeah, comeback.
He was just happy to be hanging out with his horses.
Like he would only just do a movie just to like, ah, you know, just get a little bit more money.
A little bit more hay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. Speed grab right now
yeah i'm just gonna go get some oat money and uh yeah and that's what he did for years and years
like he's just like hanging with the family and the horses and yeah i think that was what i heard
about harrison ford it was like i just need a new earring. A new shiny earring. Yeah.
Oh, man.
But that kid
is a great little
character actor
and you could put it,
just start acting,
start doing something.
Even if you decide
to keep the beard,
I think you start acting.
Yeah?
Yeah.
That's the next thing.
Yeah, let's get you
some acting classes.
I love it.
Yeah.
Because also,
the jovial biker character is funny as your own thing.
If you write that script and start doing those shorts and hire.
Do you know how many.
A jovial biker in shorts.
Yeah.
That's funny, guys.
What do you think about these?
Yeah, trying out new shorts. Yeah, trying out new shorts. What do you think about these? Yeah, trying out new shorts?
Yeah, trying out new shorts.
What do you think?
Guys, you be honest.
Does this go with this vest?
Yeah.
Are we committed to the vest?
Yeah.
I feel like I can't have the vest and the shorts.
You fellas, you just keep like a group of Canadian Hells Angels organized.
Yeah.
Like, guys, all right, here's a new patch.
Couple of announcements.
We're going to go over old business first.
Old business, new business.
Stitches.
Stitches still get stitches.
That's still happening.
That is still happening.
Some things will never change.
As a matter of fact, we get some stitches to give out later if you don't want to talk about it.
Yeah, Brian, I'm looking at you.
Yeah.
That meth buy did not go well.
I think we all agree.
I think we had a plan, and I don't think we stuck to it.
We executed it because that's what happens.
It's just dysfunction, and people don't communicate.
Where could we have improved?
What do we all think?
Are we happy with that?
So, we need, do they have this thing in LA?
We have this breakdown services.
What is that?
Where you can just put a casting out, a casting call.
Okay.
So, I need motorcycle gang members.
Oh.
And then we pay $200 for the day non-union.
Oh.
You see what comes in.
Right.
And then you get everybody and rent like a Ramada for two hours,
you know, like they did in The Wire.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just a quick conference room.
Right, yeah.
And just have. just do the scripts
ready to go so you knock five out in one day just do like yeah just do like biker
variations meetings biker meetings that's really great yeah and have everybody with the same jean
vest come dressed as a biker yeah and yeah i love it, I love it. BYO vest. Yeah.
BYO vest.
They're Danish's, but we're going to have to wait until the end of the meeting.
If there's crumb beard continuity, we have to worry about.
So you could do that.
Yeah, I love it. It'd be fun for you.
And then you could just put them out.
Yeah.
And everybody that's listening will watch them.
Yeah. Yeah, I love it. And then you can just put them out. Yeah. And everybody that's listening will watch them. Yeah.
I love it.
And share them with their friends.
Then it'll become incredibly popular.
And then they'll just start a TV show about it.
And then I'll buy that fishing boat.
Yeah.
And there you go.
I'd take naps with your wife.
Yeah, I finally got to take naps with someone's wife.
You got to figure it out.
Oh, man.
Oh, man, do I ever.
Now, Al.
Yes. Is this, when you do I ever. Now, Al. Yes.
Is this, when you do a weekend in another town,
is this what usually goes on?
You improve your MC?
No.
Oh, Graham's.
I like Graham's special.
Ah, that's awesome.
But that would be a great reality show.
MC makeover.
Yeah.
That's actually my rap show. MC Makeover. Yeah.
That's actually my rap name.
Al Madrigal, the touring comedian.
Yeah.
And every week he goes on the road and finds a different local comedian to fix.
Oh, that on Spike TV?
Are you kidding me?
Spike TV.
Yeah.
What would that show be called? MC Makeover. Oh, yeah. MC Make on Spike TV, are you kidding me? Spike TV. Yeah. Oh, what would that show be called?
MZ Makeover.
Oh, yeah, MZ Makeover.
Yeah, I forgot.
His act is, he's been doing comedy for three years, all the stats come up.
Yeah, yeah.
His act is horrible.
We put in security cameras.
Yeah, yeah.
Secret cameras.
Look at the dirty dishes in his sink.
Oh, man. Dave, what's going on with you, man? Oh, boy. His baby. Cute. Look at the dirty dishes in his sink Oh man
Dave what's going on with you man
Oh boy
Yeah I got a great baby
Week to week
She's got chompers now
Four teeth now two on top two on the bottom
Grinding them non stop
She's got to get a night guard
She's got stress at work
Hates me
Oh that's not true
She doesn't like to be held by other folks got stress at work. Hates me. Yeah, well, she's... Oh, that's not true. No, she likes me a lot.
That was an instant bond.
She doesn't like to be held by other folks, my mother included.
Wow.
My mother refers to it as making strange.
Yeah, that's what I was asking my mom about it, because I was like, I've been seeing this
baby every week, and now I come in and the baby freaks out.
She goes, oh, no, that's a thing that they do.
Yeah, you should have your mom spend just a day with the baby, and that'll be over. All right. Well, she goes, oh, no, that's a thing that they do. Yeah, you should have your mom spend
just a day with the baby
and that'll be over.
Well, she's real busy.
She's Madeline Albright.
Here's what's going on
with me this week.
A few weeks ago
on this show,
I made an announcement.
And it was that
as an adult,
you don't get a chance
to name your favorite food anymore. But people ask you it all the uh as an adult you don't get a chance to name your favorite food
anymore but people ask you it all the time as a child but my favorite food yeah is ice cream
right and in the the recent weeks i've just been embracing this and i've started uh you've been
having ice cream sandwiches instead of regular so i have this one ice cream i just eat exclusively
and i eat it every night.
What is it?
A flavor or a brand?
It's a, the brand is Chapman's.
It's Canadian, I believe.
All right.
And, uh, it's a cookies and cream.
Okay.
And, uh, like I will avoid candy or ice cream during the day. Cause I know I'm going to have this later at night.
Yeah.
Uh, and, uh, it's like, it's become a bit of an obsession.
I didn't expect it to.
But what happened the other day is my wife went out and got, was running errands and
she came home with blizzards from Dairy Queen.
Uh-oh.
And she gave me a blizzard and the look on my face, she told me was like, this was the
worst possible reaction
you'd give to someone
giving you a blizzard.
Yeah, yeah.
Like, here's a treat
I picked up for you.
Well, then I won't get
that other ice cream later.
Yeah.
Oh, so you had to
cancel out the later ice cream.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I was like,
I've got my day planned
around this specific ice cream.
Yeah, oh,
that's unfortunate.
This is the best live read
of any ad for Chapman's ever.
That's totally.
That copy, I mean, he just nailed it.
I know, I know.
Didn't even glance down once.
He had it memorized.
Yeah, it was, well, I was working with my coach, Michael Strahan.
He's got me.
I run through those tires while I'm memorizing lines.
See, I don't, do you have something like that?
Like a, like candy or something that you're like,
allow yourself to have?
Well, my wife is an amazing cook and baker.
And I have stuff floating around the house all the time.
And so she, she nails a bunch of, I mean, I have stuff floating around the house all the time.
And so she nails a bunch of, I mean, the baking and the pies,
and she just, there's stuff around the house. It's always stuff around.
But there are these things that I can't resist,
and I keep myself away from,
but it's a really old Hollywood bakery called Martino's.
If anyone's in Los Angeles, they do Martino's tea cakes.
Okay.
What's it?
Oh, is that like, just like a really fancy cake?
No, it's just these little squares.
Yeah.
And they are delicious.
They're amazing.
And so when I see those, I will eat one for sure.
But I tried, see, I have high cholesterol.
I'm older than you fellas.
And I take Crestor.
I take a...
That's a pretty good Crestor coffee.
Yeah.
I take five milligrams of Crestor.
Just to keep my...
You snort it?
Yeah.
Like the guys in the front row.
That's what they're doing.
Don't worry, it's Crestor.
It's Crestor, bro.
All right, so that's another thing.
I understand the shipment of smuggled Crestor has come in.
That's your announcing.
That's what you're dealing in?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, let's check it twice, okay, guys?
Our numbers are all over the place on this.
Well, you might want to switch that swastika to, like, some flowers or something.
Yeah, yeah.
You might want to get that covered up.
Yeah, we're encouraging you, if you're going to get swastika tattoos, under the shirt, guys.
Under the shirt, no forearm tattoos.
We're trying to run an organization here.
Cutbacks.
Yeah.
Cutbacks.
Yeah. You, you're going to be riding on a unicycle from Cutbacks? Yeah. Cutbacks. Yeah.
You,
you're going to be riding
on a unicycle from now on.
Yeah,
we're busting you down.
Yeah,
you only get one wheel,
sorry.
Now,
the war with the Koreans.
Nice.
Going well.
Yeah.
That's a little update
from Steve.
Got a PowerPoint.
Yeah.
Now, can we not be racist for the Koreans? I mean, we just, we disagree with From Steve. Got a PowerPoint. Yeah.
Now, can we not be racist for the Koreans?
I mean, we disagree with how they're doing business, but we're not monsters.
Yeah, exactly.
Guys, we have some approved slurs.
Yeah, yeah.
Just a few slurs.
But if you could not move outside of those.
Yeah.
We are running a business here.
And guys, they're South Koreans.
It makes you look ignorant.
I've never had a tea cake before.
This is something I got to try.
Well, you've had tea.
Yeah, definitely.
And I've had cake.
I've had them together. I think, I don't know if it's not.
But ice cream is really bad for you.
That's what I was going to say.
No, this stuff's good.
Yeah, milkshakes and ice cream is that bad for you. That's what I was going to say. No, this stuff's good. Yeah, milkshakes.
No, no, no.
And ice cream is what my doctor told me not to have.
He goes, we were talking about new improved diet.
And he said, just no more milkshakes for you because your milkshake days are over.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Were you a milkshake guy?
I love them.
That's what Alan Havey was talking about last night.
He was talking about how much he loves milkshakes.
I love them too.
So do I, but I have them once a month, maybe.
How often do you eat milkshakes?
No, I'm on this one ice cream.
That's it.
But if I bought a vanilla, I would use it to make milkshakes.
Yeah, for sure.
For sure.
Yeah.
Oh, guys, ice cream.
It's great.
It is great. It really is. Oh, guys, ice cream. It's great. It is great.
It really is.
Butter pecan, I enjoy.
I like all types of ice cream, and I would like to, because I had that pot cookie last night.
Oh, yeah.
Where did you get that?
The feature act, Chris brought it for me.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
But I only have it at a very time, such a lightweight,
a very small amount
of it.
And then I,
like I said,
went and watched
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.
Yeah.
I got to a Daredevil
and I was like,
oh, I'm going to watch
this Daredevil.
Yeah.
Because I was like,
oh, I have five in
and I went to press play
and I just hit pause
immediately.
This is not happening.
I don't know.
Gone.
Just knocked out.
Sleep.
Perfect.
Yeah.
Well, what else could you hope for?
It's fun.
Yeah, man.
But tonight, we're going out.
What?
I thought we went out last night.
We're going to Relish, remember?
What's Relish?
I'm sure there's a club called Relish
in every city that's like.
There's a bar.
We walked past it last night.
It just looked so fun.
Relish?
Was it like a dance?
But fun.
I don't know what was going on
in there,
but I remember looking.
It's a condiment bar.
Yeah.
Oh, boy.
Yeah.
I looked at everybody else
and I was like,
we got to go in there now now Look what's happening in there
Something was happening
What was happening
I don't know
Blue light coming out of it
It looked very fun
And it's scary at the same time
There was people
Partying so hard
Yeah
People cheering They weren't dancing People going, partying so hard. Yeah.
Yeah.
Cheering.
They weren't dancing.
They were just, you looked in and people having the best time. You got a better look at it than I did.
I just kept, I was just moving.
I was just moving.
I just keep moving.
Oh boy.
What are the, what are the future clubs going to be called?
Now that we're down to relish.
Relish.
Garnish.
Yeah. Parsley. Garnish. Yeah.
Parsley.
Sauerkraut.
Sauerkraut.
I'd go to a bar called Sauerkraut.
Yeah, it's a sausage party.
So yeah, that's what's going on with me.
A lot of ice cream.
Yeah.
The other thing was I went to lunch the other day with my co-worker and it was like 2 o'clock
so like the lunch rush had died down
and we went to this Mexican restaurant
around the corner from the CBC
that I once went with your parents
and you.
And it was like
2 o'clock and there were these
it was emptying out and there was
a couple in their late 40s
and out of the corner of my eye, they were just sitting on the same side of a booth together.
And I just saw them kind of go in for a kiss.
And then the kiss lasted and lasted.
And the guy was in this couple was trying to hide the fact that they were making out at two in the afternoon on a Thursday.
Oh, so you think there was something untoward?
Well, it's a public makeout, this kind of untoward.
Well, yeah.
On a Thursday afternoon.
And what he did was this thing where you kind of cover your mouth as you're whispering to someone.
Like, hey.
Oh, but like while he was kissing?
While they were
making out he just had one hand the back of his hand covering it lip shield yeah yeah like it was
whispering into her mouth nothing going on here for about two minutes and then they just gave in
and grabbed each other's faces oh wow so i what passion i can't remember the last time I made out in public.
I'm not a big, I don't like that.
No, no, I don't.
No touching is what I say.
No touching at any time.
That's what the rings are for.
Yeah, exactly.
I lost my wedding ring recently. Oh, no.
This sounds ridiculous.
So I'm at Columbo's Italian restaurant and steakhouse, Eagle Rock,
and my buddy is talking about he lost his in the ocean.
Oh, well, that's the end of that.
And I show him mine, and I go, this thing never lost.
And then somebody goes, let me see that.
It's a sort of odd ring.
And I passed them my wedding ring.
Never got it back.
Somebody put it on the table, swept up with the linens, gone.
Oh, no.
And I walked away from the restaurant an hour later.
I was like, my ring.
It's at the restaurant.
Called back.
Sorry, we must clean the table.
We had somebody sort of look through the trash, but we can't find it.
It's gone.
14 years.
And where do you get a new one?
A hundred bucks.
Does it match the old one?
No, not even close.
And your wife knows?
My wife knew exactly where it went down.
She was right there.
Oh.
Okay.
She was with you.
Yeah.
It's not like I came to Vancouver. Yeah, yeah. Hey. Okay, she was with you. Yeah, it's not like I came to Vancouver.
Yeah, yeah.
Hey.
Threw it in the ocean.
Yeah, lost it at relish.
I lost my ring at relish.
I play with mine all the time.
Like, take it off,
put it back on,
spin it around.
Every time I do it,
I'm like, don't swallow it,
don't swallow it,
don't swallow it.
Well, the ocean or swimming is tough.
I guess you want it to sort of stick.
Yeah.
I wouldn't play with it too much there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's why I stay out of the ocean.
Was she so mad?
My wife, no.
No.
She was like, whatever.
I can't believe it.
As long as you used it.
She's like, that doesn't mean you're out of this.
Just because you lost the ring.
Hey.
That means we're divorced.
Bad news and worse news.
Lost my ring.
Worse news.
We're finished.
Yeah.
About that.
Guy doesn't understand marriage at all.
Guess that means we're through here.
I talked to my lawyer.
Yeah.
He's not very good.
Yeah.
What's going on with you, Graham?
Well, we're going to relish tonight.
Okay.
So I'm super excited about that.
Does that change how you're going to dress?
Yeah, I'm going to wear a real flashy shirt.
I'll bring a shirt.
Unbutton to the belly button.
Yeah.
Yeah, a deep V, you know, show off my chest hair.
yeah yeah a deep v you know show off my chest hair so uh nothing much is new except i went to i went to uh victoria to do a stand-up comedy oh last weekend last weekend and uh uh i don't
usually snap at people in the crowd that's not my thing that It's Al's thing, exactly. But man, did I snap on a guy
and it was,
the only reason I snapped
was because I felt like
what he was saying
was a diss to somebody else
that was on the show.
Oh, okay.
And I lost my mind
and I just told this guy like,
because I was telling him
it was in the middle of a joke
so he ruined the joke
which was already
kind of bad.
But he said that
everybody on
the show was fat right and uh like you know like the mc was fat that's true and i'm kind of fat
but also uh katie ellen humphries was on the show she's not fat oh yeah she's like a competitive
swimmer yeah yeah so it was like in my mind it was like he was saying it about her so i just told
this guy like and the manager went over and said, like, please be quiet, sir.
And I told the manager, I was like, go away from him.
I'm not finished with this guy.
Yeah, leave him for me.
Yeah.
And I totally, I said I was going to grind his face into the asphalt outside.
Like, I was going to beat the shit out of him.
That's the best.
Doesn't that feel good?
Yeah, it did.
Well, I was like, it was kind of shaken.
Like, it was all the adrenaline.
Yeah.
Because I just kept. And what was his fitness level? Yeah, it did. Well, it was kind of shaken. Like, it was all the adrenaline. Yeah. Because I just kept...
And what was his fitness level?
He was also fat!
What?
Yeah, I know.
I was like, yeah, and that's what I came around to.
I was like, you're fat!
You son of a bitch.
Yeah.
This is fat on fat hate crimes.
What?
You know how there's, like, theme shows?
Like, we'll do the Nasty Boys of Comedy.
Yeah.
Or, like, the All Asian Show, or the All Hispanic like they'll do the nasty boys of comedy. Yeah. Or like the all Asian show or the all Hispanic show.
That's a big joke about it. That's one of my opening bits.
Do they do an all fat show?
No.
No.
The fat boys of comedy?
I was also saying, I was trying to pitch Al on the idea of like an all grouchy old men.
Oh yeah.
Just guys that are like,
man, these iPhones.
Just mad about everything.
Yeah.
Anyways, yeah,
I really went off on this guy.
And then after the show,
I was like,
that guy's going to try
and beat the shit out of me.
Yeah, and win.
Yeah.
They never do.
No, the manager was like,
he left just before
the end of the show when you were wrapping up. You made a beeline for the exit. Yeah, they're chicken shit. No, the manager was like, he left just before the end of the show.
When you were wrapping up, you made a beeline for the exit.
Yeah, they're chicken shit.
Yeah, yeah.
But I was like, I don't even know what I said, but it was just vitriol.
I sort of thought those guys were going to come after me.
I was so close to it.
When you took their beer away, I was like, oh, no.
This is it.
I was standing right behind the curtain. I was like, I'm ready This is it. I was standing right behind the curtain.
I was like,
I'm ready to go.
These guys got nothing to lose.
Yeah.
They're coked up.
They were coked up.
And then when he said,
you're Mexican,
go get us a lime.
What?
You didn't hear that?
No, I didn't hear that.
Oh, that's when
I just killed him.
Oh, well,
then you.
What did you say?
Did you say,
you're Mexican?
And that's when
I talked about the Nazi tattoos. Oh, okay. then you... What did you say? Did you say you're Mexican? And that's when I talked about the
Nazi tattoos.
Okay, that's what set that off.
Oh, Jesus.
Man.
I see what you're saying.
Racist skinhead is being
racist.
Nurse shoes.
Oh, man.
So what's Victoria like?
It's great. How many people are there?
In the club, it's like...
Or the city.
Oh, in the city?
City club.
I don't know.
It's probably like half a million.
Three, 400,000?
Yeah.
It's on the island.
It's the capital.
It's very...
It's like a retirement destination in Canada
because it's like the warmest place in Canada. It still rains 300 days a year. And it's very, it's like a retirement destination in Canada because it's like the warmest place in Canada.
It still rains 300 days a year.
And it's very British.
Yeah.
Because they've got like double-decker buses and all that kind of stuff.
And like, you know, they'll have all those British candy shops.
Oh, yeah.
You can get.
You want a tea cake.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, man.
Tea cakes.
If I knew that you were into tea cakes oh boy oh boy i would
pick some up for you there but yeah anyway so i just went off on this guy felt but at the end of
the night like it did feel good yeah i was like yeah that was the right move would you have followed
through i guess i would have had to right if the guy came over to the table anybody attacks you
she have to step up yeah Yeah. Yeah, step up.
That's what I learned
from that movie,
Step Up to the Streets.
You know?
Yeah.
If a guy challenges you
to do a dance contest
or a fight,
you go.
That's how I would like
to see it end.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah?
I challenge you
to a dance contest
in the parking lot.
That's a funny thing
to challenge people to.
Oh, yeah, fat guy?
Dance off.
Yeah.
In the parking lot. We're going to break people to. Oh yeah, fat guy? Dance off. Mark and Lon.
We're going to break a sweat.
It would have been great if the whole crowd was like, yeah.
Dance off.
Dance, dance.
Like it was a regular thing that happened.
Like everyone's just on board.
Like, yeah, this is a dance community.
I got to see a dance off just recently that was, so went to Miami.
I was shooting this thing and we went out drinking, being a couple of producer folks. And there was a guy that got into this older black gentleman who was dancing his ass off.
Just walking up to girls and just had moves.
And I don't know what happened, but he came over, danced his way up to my friend.
Yeah.
But I had no idea.
He's sort of a comic actor, this guy, Matt Burke.
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
He's a pro funny dancer.
Really?
And went up there, and this guy, this black guy had moves.
Yeah, yeah.
Matt Burke walked up in front of everyone, crowded around. Oh, wow. He was in the middle of like a dance moves. Yeah, yeah. Matt Burke walked up. In front of everyone, crowded around.
Oh, wow.
He was in the middle of a dance circle.
Yeah, and then pointing to each other afterwards and said, they each took turns.
Wow.
And Matt Burke kicked his ass.
Really?
To the point where everyone declared him.
Somebody came over and raised his hand.
That's the guy I want to be.
I want to be the guy who's like,
I'm the ref.
I'm the ref of this.
I'm the ref.
Oh, that's my favorite reality show.
Dance refs.
Dance refs.
Oh, that's one of my worst moments.
I've never been a big dancer.
I always sort of wallflower
watching people dance.
I have to be really drunk
to get out there.
Or slow dancing I can do.
But when you're holding,
I can dance.
I'll dance.
I'll boogie.
But just solo.
But to free form,
my wife and brothers make fun of me so much
because they call what I do,
I have such poor posture,
that they call what I do the hunchback hump.
So they just said,
you're just like an inchworm standing up
where you're just like an inchworm standing up where you.
Vertical inchworm just humping his way around the dance floor.
Oh, wow. So I'm always in fifth grade when we, you know, boys and girls started having parties together.
I remember we were over Oliver Langan's house.
and girls started having parties together.
I remember we were over Oliver Langan's house and there was
an old Victorian with this great
stairwell and a landing on the stairwell
that looked down. And I was still at
that age, you know, wasn't going to, so we're going to have
a dance, everyone said, we're going to have a dance
competition. Oh, wow.
And I said, in fifth grade,
I'll be the judge.
Nice. And I walked to the top
of the landing
The landing
I looked down on everyone
And I crossed my arms
And I was gonna
I was gonna do it
Everyone agreed
That this was gonna happen
Yeah
And people were dancing
How's the judge?
And I remember
I went up to Carrie Kelly
And I said
Tapped her
And I said
You're out
And she looked at me
And she goes
Everyone's having fun.
What's your problem?
Why don't you just dance?
I just sort of put my head down.
It felt horrible about my inability to boogie.
Like, and let loose.
I've never been able to, like, really cut loose.
Yeah, well, that's what they say.
But it's because people have made fun of you.
That's why. They're holding you back
Traumatizing
I think what you're gonna do
For Graham
And his acting
I'm gonna do for you
And your dancing
Really
I mean we're gonna get you
Some lessons
We're gonna send you out
On some auditions
Oh my god
I would love to take
Like a hip hop
Yeah
Do it secretly
And surprise my wife
Would be the funniest thing
Why
Why do you not do that?
Yeah, yeah.
We'll bleep this part.
She's not listening.
What?
She doesn't,
she's a big listener.
This podcast is over.
My wife loves podcasts.
But not this.
She's got her hands full
with all things comedy.
Ah, yeah.
No, she really does.
60 podcasts.
That's a lot to listen to.
We are doing
a big, big listener.
I'm going to start.
I love Jesse.
Like I said, I love Maximum Fun, and I love The Flophouse.
Flophouse, you look very similar to Dan McCoy.
I've never seen him.
Oh, yeah.
You have a Dan McCoy look.
What about a Dan McCoy off?
You could be the judge.
And you sort of sound like him.
I go in for a lot of auditions that are looking for a Dan McCoy type. And could be the judge. And you sort of sound like him. I go in for a lot of auditions
that are looking for
a Dan McCoy type.
And then Michael Strahan's there.
You're like, what?
Come on now.
Do you want to move on
to some overheard?
Sure.
Hey, everyone.
We're the Flophouse,
one of the newest additions
to the Maximum Fun
podcasting network.
I'm Dan McCoy.
I'm Stuart Wellington.
And I'm Elliot Kalin.
What is the Flophouse,
you may very well ask? We watch a bad movie and then we talk about it. A bad movie podcast,
isn't that like every fifth podcast on the internet? I'd answer that by saying, one,
we've been doing this show for over seven years, long before the entire premise of our show
was a cliche. And two, shut up. Sick bird. I'd say that our show is more of a comedy podcast.
A podcast about words that sound like other words.
A podcast about me singing long, irritating songs like this one.
A podcast about pitches for a Ziggy comic book movie.
Or discussions about sex tarps.
Yeah, I mean, mostly it's a show about three friends just hanging out.
And talking about ding-dongs.
That's mostly you, Stu.
Wait, what?
So if you like any of those things, subscribe in iTunes today. Just hanging out And talking about ding dongs That's mostly used to Wait what?
So if you like any of those things Subscribe in iTunes today
Or visit MaximumFun.org
To follow the show
The Flophouse
Woo
Spring has sprung
And throwing shade has shown
I'm gay
I'm a lady
And the two of us are going to star in spring awakening very soon thank
you so much please look at that please do but in the meantime if you can't get tickets to that we
do host a show on max fun network called throwing shade which is funny because we already mentioned
that comes out every thursday on you know every every network in america every network mbc abc
you can also get it on itunes and you know know, we just chit-chat about stuff that happens to ladies and gays.
Yeah.
And we just, and we laugh about it.
Yeah.
Because what, what do we do, cry?
We talk about politics and making love and hairstyles of, you know, the 21st century.
If you love sensuality, you'll love Throwing Shade.
Overheard.
Overheard's Overheards.
Segment in which we hear things and we share them here on the podcast.
We always like to start with the guest.
Great.
So you go ahead, man.
One of my favorite things that I overheard is I was in Las Vegas.
Yeah. when you're starting out, there's, the Las Vegas weeks are horrible because you have to work Monday
through Sunday
two shows
every single night.
Really?
And I've worked
some horrible,
horrible shows
and gigs
for the comedy stop
at the Tropicana Hotel.
I taught my son
to swim
in the Tropicana pool.
Oh.
Oh, really?
Yeah,
at three years old,
he learned to swim.
But that's fun.
Yes.
It's a pool with a bunch of, really? Yeah, three years old. That's fun. Yes. It's a pool
with a bunch of drunks.
Yeah, they're having
a bikini contest
at the other end.
Here you go.
He's doing it.
He's doing it.
Yeah.
Meanwhile,
it's a chick.
It's just grinding
and dumping oil
on her throat.
Carrying a yard
of margarita.
Yeah, somebody
spilled jello shots
in the pool.
Everybody out of the pool. Everybody out of the pool.
So, I'd done a lot of Vegas.
And this one time, I met Harrah's.
They have an improv.
And the money is low.
They want to pay you in cash.
It's a tremendous amount of work.
And it's not the greatest gig.
And it's all tourists you're playing too right
exactly tourists some locals show up they're comedy fans it's so funny and then this is how
long ago was the headliner was lisa lampanelli yeah well and i'm the feature act okay and we're
playing a lot of roulette but lisa at this point is starting to take off i think she's about to do her first roast. All right. And so she's starting
to become popular.
They give the comedians
vouchers to eat
with the employees.
So pit boss,
security guys,
everybody,
the cashiers,
everybody in uniform,
all the dealers,
visored Korean women
are,
there's this, you know, the doors all over the place.
You learn where some of the doors are and you get three meals a day.
So you get all these Harrah's meals.
They feed their employees.
They want them to stay there.
And you walk down with the employees into the underbelly of this casino and eat.
They have a full cafeteria, no windows, some TVs, and just more depressed people are like just slapping stuff on trays.
Yeah.
And you walk down the line, but you can get the guys to make you a burger.
Right.
And you can get a, yeah, chicken sandwich and stuff.
You would learn, like comedians are all eating cereal because you can get cereal.
Yeah, yeah.
Big milk dispenser.
Right, right, right.
So I'm there. That's a fun way to eat cereal. Yeah, yeah. Big milk dispensers. Right, right, right. So I'm there.
That's a fun way to eat cereal.
Yeah, huge milk dispensers.
Cow somewhere.
Check this out.
So I'm in the cafeteria
as the worst of Hurricane Katrina is happening.
Right.
The levees have been broken.
There are people on rooftops.
SOS, help me.
There's feces in the water.
George Bush doesn't care.
George Bush.
They have not.
No FEMA.
No one's shown up yet.
No National Guard.
No one's there.
Right.
Watching just hands go down to people on rafts. FEMA, no one's shown up yet. No National Guard. No one's there. Right.
Watching just hands go down to people on rafts. Yeah.
Just dogs fighting for their life to get on a rooftop.
And I might, I'm a bit of a sap, but tear up a little bit.
Right.
Yeah.
And sitting at a table, eating cereal in one of the most depressed places of all time.
And I overhear
two security guards.
Caesars has
just bought Harrah's, or Harrah's bought
Caesars. Right. Vice versa.
And these two security guards look at the monitors,
look at somebody, like, die.
Right. Watch someone die.
And one guy looks
at the other guy and he goes,
You think they're gonna change our uniforms to green?
And he's super concerned about the green uniforms.
Yeah, I heard.
That's what I heard.
And to me, it's just like they only care about my father-in-law.
My in-laws live in Vegas.
And they, again, we're talking about ambition.
Yeah.
That postal mentality of just working to work in just your little world and not caring about anything inside of that.
It's like just summed it all up.
Because these guys, those two fellas,
only cared about that.
Clamping down on overtime.
Oh, yeah.
We just watched a man die.
Yeah.
This is the world outside your-
The world is ending on the TV.
And they're still not going to get past... You hear they got rid of Raisin Bran?
Why did they do that?
Because the raisins are too expensive.
Great.
They're going back on everything.
Where am I going to get my fiber from?
Well, not here.
They got Raisin Bran.
Tropicana's got Raisin Bran.
They actually eat Raisin Bran If it's Tropicana It's got Raisin Bran If they actually Raisin Bran Crunch
Three different types
Raisin Bran
They really go out
For the employees
That's why
But
That's what
It's like just
A little
That's the whole world man
Yeah
I was once
I spent
A night with some policemen
And
Ride along It was There was a shooting I was involved in And I spent a night with some policemen and, uh, uh, ride along.
It was, uh, there was a shooting I was involved in and, uh, it was like a guy died and these
policemen are, they work in like the, the downtown East side, which is like the drug,
put the poorest postal code in Canada and so much drugs and, and, uh, mental illness.
And, uh, I spent a few hours with them, and they were just talking about
they're worried the mayor is going to make them start driving a Nissan Leaf.
I can't be a cop in a Nissan Leaf.
Yeah.
I was like, are you going to ram anybody?
Yeah, exactly.
People are just going to laugh when we show them.
Dave, do you have an override?
Exactly.
People are just going to laugh when we show them. Yeah.
Dave, do you have an overhead?
Mine is walking down the street outside a restaurant and these like 60-year-old, 360-year-old men came out of this nice restaurant in like suits.
They could have been lawyers or businessmen or just, you know, old professional serious guys finishing guys. Yeah. Finishing a big business lunch.
And I just overheard one of them turn to the other and say,
but Jennifer Lawrence is really young.
Like, dude, yeah, but like really young.
I feel like they were maybe casting a movie in their minds.
No, I don't think Jennifer Lawrence is right for the part.
Yeah.
Of Madame Curie Yeah
She's not playing a mom
She's not playing
She's 25
I don't even think
23
Yeah
She's like 23
What
Yeah I know
You're like
Yeah great
My
Oh yeah it's you
You're next
Hello
This was after we went to a bar
After the show
Relish, you went to Relish
We went to Relish
And then after they left
I went over to Ketchup
And I did some dance fighting
Do you think at Relish
You know how some bars have like foam
That they spray on everyone
Yeah
Sweet Relish
Get your hot dogs out.
It just comes up
from the floor
like it's just
slowly your shoes
are just ruined.
Right?
Everybody's like
tuck your pants
into your socks
because the relish
gun is coming
from below.
The relish flood.
So after we left
the bar
we walked out
on Granville Street
and that's where
everybody's just like falling over drunk or whatever.
And there were two girls.
Girls will do this sometimes.
They'll walk right together, but they're holding each other up on the top half.
They're leaning on each other.
Leaning.
And they're kind of walking like one unit.
And so I saw two ladies like that And they just Were yelling At the same time
Juice cleanse
We're starting tomorrow
We're starting tomorrow
Cause I feel awful
But they were just
Lovely
So excited
About juice cleanse
Yeah they either
Had gotten
Really fucked up
Yeah
Because they were
On one
They hadn't had
Solid food Oh yeah We just got loaded And we were Practically free really fucked up. Yeah. Because they were on one. They hadn't had solid food.
Oh, yeah.
We just got loaded
and we were practically free.
Juice cleanse.
Or they just slapped down
like four slices.
Yeah.
Tomorrow.
Tomorrow we...
Still gross.
Now we also have overheard sent in to us from people around the world.
If you want to send one in to us.
Hey.
You can send them in to spy at maximumfund.org.
And this first one comes from Daniel G. in Indianapolis.
Ah, America's crossroads.
I was at a festival celebrating Indiana's famous covered bridges.
Is that a thing?
Is that really?
Yeah, a festival for everything.
A lot of redneck guys were walking around, and my wife heard one say to the other,
Oh, man, I am going to crop dust everyone today.
That's not a thing you do, is it?
If there's a big festival
happening, you can get into your
light aircraft.
But he sounded malicious about it.
Yeah.
That's where he was going to go after
people like watches and goes really
try to spread it around.
You guys are going to be tasting DDT.
Do crop dust, is that still
how you do it with a plane?
No, he's talking about farting.
What?
Oh, what?
He's going to fart on everybody, guys.
What?
Is that really a thing?
Is that the term?
I think that's what Daniel G thinks.
Yeah.
Ah.
He's walking around.
He went to one of those chicken skewer places and got a corn on a stick, and now it doesn't
run.
They had a chili cook-off.
He went to the broccoli trough.
I've never heard it called crop dusting.
Yeah, he's got a fart on everyone.
Oh, man.
This guy's, this is, they just opened up that over here.
I mean, it's wide open.
If you're not going to be entertained by the covered bridges, then I don't know what to tell you.
Those old people looking at that covered bridge over there.
Look at the foliage.
I'm going to fart all over them.
This next one comes from Meredith W. in Boston.
Yeah.
And I was leaving a grocery store.
Bean town.
Yeah.
Not according to this overheard.
Speaking of farts.
I was leaving the grocery store and I passed a guy walking into the store and overheard him say to his girlfriend or wife,
I've been meaning to tell you, I think I've fallen head over heels for quinoa.
Oh.
Who hasn't?
Yeah.
I know.
I went through a phase.
But then I picked ice cream.
Yeah.
And I shouldn't be happier about it.
But I like that he's, oh, yeah, I was meaning to tell you this.
I'm meaning to tell you.
Yeah.
We're through.
What is it?
We're through.
I'm leaving you for quinoa.
There's new love in my life.
And this one comes from Carolyn S.
Parts unknown. Don't know where. Oh, no. Union Station. Where's that? Uh, and this one comes from Carolyn S.
Parts unknown.
Don't know where.
Oh no.
Union station.
Where's that?
Toronto?
All right.
Uh, I was walking to union station behind two 20 something year old gentlemen.
I could hear that they were talking about thunderstorms. The first guy says, uh, in my opinion, if you get hit by lightning, you deserved
it. Second guy,
my uncle was hit by lightning once
on a golf course. And the first guy says,
that's exactly what I'm saying.
Prove
my point more.
Your uncle
shouldn't have been on the course.
No, he was out there golfing.
With a lightning rod
In his hand
With the golf club
Yeah
Yeah
It is kind of true
Have you ever been anywhere
Have you ever been anywhere
They had to evacuate
Because of lightning
Yeah yeah
They used to do that a lot
In Calgary
Because they would have
These crazy lightning storms
But like
What kind of things
Like the
Like a golf course
Like they would like
Come out
They'd have like a cart come around with a speaker like,
everybody clear out.
Because people were too dumb to know to do that.
There was lightning and people would still golf.
And they'd have to go around and tell people,
get off the course.
I've seen kids out of the lake.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That kind of situation.
Or like water slides.
Oh, yeah.
Because they're just magnets.
If I was, yeah, if I was at a water park and everybody evacuated,
I would totally just get back in the water park and like, yeah,
go have so much fun.
No.
Worth it.
Yeah.
Now, in addition to overheards that are written in,
we also accept your phone calls.
If you would like to call us,
our phone number is 206-339-8328,
like these people have.
Hey, Dave and Graham and guests.
This is Rachel calling from Oregon with an overheard
from work the other day.
A couple of my coworkers were in the break room talking,
and they are mother and daughter.
And the mother said to her daughter,
very sincerely,
I love you.
If something happened to you,
I wouldn't want to go on living.
And the daughter who's in her early twenties kind of raised an eyebrow and smiled a little bit and said,
well,
you have two other kids.
And I thought that was great.
Yeah.
You don't give up just because I'm gone, Mom.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
I know you hate them.
I'm the one that's your co-worker now, apparently.
Yeah.
I'm sick of you, Mom.
What's this daughter doing, you think, that's putting her life at risk?
Oh, she's just
jaywalking yeah yeah that's if jaywalking her mom's watching it yelling at her from across
this yeah why do you do that you're my treasure yeah they do that thing where she runs across and
then the the other person has to stand on the other side of the road just wait for the light
to change like why did you do that?
Or she's just doing bratty kid things,
even though she's in her 20s.
She's like walking up the down escalator.
Watch this, mom.
You're going to hurt your shins.
I'll never forgive myself.
Don't leave me with the two shitty kids.
Here's your next one.
Twins.
Yeah, twin boys. Gross. Our gross our gross 29 year old twin brother
all right here's your next phone call hey dave grimm and more often than not guest this is brian
in south florida with an overheard it is friday afternoon i just left work and as i'm walking out
of the building uh a couple of women were coming out, and one said to the other,
All email has done is ruin everyone's lives.
Pregnant pause.
And then she says, Granted, I like it and all.
That's the best one.
Yeah.
If there is, do we rank them?
Yeah, sure.
That was my favorite
because South Florida,
I knew it was going to be good.
Yeah, yeah.
We all knew it was going to be great.
It's like,
yeah, there's like a documentary
that came out
that's called like Florida Man.
Oh, yeah.
And it's about all the crazy news stories.
Headlines, yeah.
Yeah, that come out of florida
there's a twitter account that's florida man is that right yeah yeah oh wow um when people call
in they're like adamant about they don't say with a city they're in in florida they want you to know
that they're they're not in north florida now north florida is horrible what it's in north
is well that's like Jacksonville is bad.
That's a horrible, that's a terrible, terrible place.
You've done stand-up there?
Yeah, I've done stand-up there.
It's horrible.
I've never, ever, ever.
Isn't that where Larry the Cable Guy is from?
Isn't he from Jacksonville, Florida?
I thought.
The character or the performer?
He has some association with Lincoln, Nebraska.
I don't know why he's a Nebraska. I don't know why.
He's a huge,
I don't know where he's from.
But,
I do know that
North Florida's horrible.
Yeah.
South Florida's
not that much better.
But,
it's beautiful
in terms of the water
and there's a,
you know,
the ocean,
just,
it's amazing.
It's like blue there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
There's water,
bad water. Yeah. But. There's water. Bath water.
Yeah.
But then the people are all horrible that email is ruined.
All email is done is ruined everyone's lives.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Granted, I like it.
I like it.
Yeah.
I'm not saying we should get rid of it.
Yeah.
But, yeah.
I mean, that's probably true of a lot of things.
Like, you know. Alcohol. Yeah, But, yeah. I mean, that's probably true of a lot of things. Like, you know.
Alcohol.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Alcohol.
Alcohol definitely ruined more lives than messaging.
Granted.
I like it.
I do like it.
Yeah, I do like it.
Here is your final overheard of 2015.
Oh, no.
Hi, Dave and Graham and possible guests.
My name's Olivia.
I'm calling you from California.
I wanted to call in with an overheard.
I work at a hospital, and one of our patients has incredible cognitive deficits.
If you asked her her name, she would have no idea.
She doesn't know where she is.
She's not oriented at all.
And today, when I was walking down the hall she was sitting in her wheelchair
and she saw me approaching and she just says here comes the lazy one
she can't remember much but she knows the important things
oh man that's weird if you didn't know your name, I wonder if that would be, would that be terrifying?
I mean, at first it would be, but then would it be very freeing to be like, oh.
Yeah, I have a friend who, I mean, it's just so hard on all the family members.
Oh, yeah.
So many friends.
But still, I don't think it's too hard.
But I think the people that have it, if you know you're slipping away, yeah, it's pretty tough, though.
But yeah.
I actually, when we were talking about the heart medication, I was taking Lipitor when I first got to the daily.
The most prescribed medication in the world.
I mean, and didn't know a side effect.
And one of the producers, I was taking it for three months while I was at the show.
And I had such difficulty
remembering things it was amazing
I got off the right way and so
one of the other producers was taking it and he goes
you know I've been taking this Lipitor for a month
and he goes I feel so off
and he goes I can't remember my own name
and I said oh my
god and we both grabbed our
and threw him in the garbage that
moment yeah because and some dumpster diver really got his heart out on track Oh my God. And we both grabbed our bells and threw them in the garbage that, that moment.
Yeah.
Because I felt.
And some dumpster diver really got his heart out of the contract later that day.
But I felt horrible.
Yeah.
Really?
I just felt,
I felt so incapable of even having a conversation that it really threw me off.
And I don't know what impression I gave
when I started at the show,
but I was a mess.
It'd be funny to go back and look at those pieces,
this first three months of me being full-time on the show,
because I was out of it,
and I was taking 20 milligrams of Lipitor,
and I couldn't remember anything.
That seems like a huge side effect that they should warn you.
It's one of the main side effects.
Wow.
Memory loss.
Yeah.
Jesus.
I forgot the word.
Have you ever forgotten a word?
Yeah, all the time.
But like while you're trying to tell somebody, like I was at Harvey's, right?
They make the hamburger or whatever.
Put all the things on.
And I couldn't remember the word ketchup to save my life.
So I just pointed at it and I said red.
Red.
Red.
It was a bad
moment for both of us.
What kind of sauce do you like?
Red.
Red sauce.
I feel like, yeah, it's a regional one.
Oh, we call it red sauce.
Red sauce. You feel like, yeah, it's a regional one. Oh, we call it red sauce. Yellow sauce, red sauce.
Red sauce.
You mean ketchup and mustard?
There's an Austin comic every time I think, Matt Bearden, who has a, one of the best jokes there.
He's at a NASCAR event and he looks at the guy next to him and he goes, is that a Hawaiian wife beater?
And the guy goes, no, just ketchup and mustard.
I don't get it.
Like he's just spilled so much ketchup.
So much ketchup and mustard.
Not his wife beater.
Plural.
Okay.
All right.
I love it.
Just drop dusting in the Hawaiian wife beater.
I know.
Yeah.
You know what it is?
It's the Lipitor.
The Lipitor, yeah.
But I just love the tangy zing.
So this brings us to the end of the podcast.
Oh, this has been great.
Do you have things that you'd like to plug and stuff?
No, just, you know, I owe this new podcast that I'm going to start,
as I'm very excited about, with Zach Crager from The Whitest Kids You Know.
Oh, love that show.
Yeah, he is the best.
He's my buddy.
And it's,
oh man, that's awesome.
Yeah, so I'm going
to be working on that.
What network will that be on?
Maximum Fun.
Oh, cool.
All Things Comedy.
It's like,
this is a very,
like it's new.
The thing that's exciting about it
is that we all own it.
So unlike with Jesse Thorne, he controls everything in the aspect of this podcast.
Actually, we're getting notes.
Yeah, yeah.
He faxed us in.
He faxed us in.
Is this Alan Alda, he says?
I love Jesse and I love the shows.
And no, we all own the network.
And so when you get into branded content.
It's like a co-op.
Yeah, so we actually let everybody really participate.
No decisions are made without consulting the entire group.
That's amazing.
We really are trying to make everything fair.
It's not set up for profit.
Everybody shares in all of the money.
I liked, because I listened to Bill Burr's little explanation of what it was.
Fucking behind the music shit.
The fucking assholes take all the money.
Fucking cocksuckers.
He just got so mad.
It's his thing where he's introducing what the concept is,
and then he gets mad at what it's his thing where he's introducing what the concept is and then he gets mad
at what
the concept isn't
yeah
we actually came up
with a fair business model
you fucking cocksuckers
taking all the fucking money
cause you hear it
comedians
come up with
oh yeah
we're gonna do this
our own thing
we can control it
and that's when
the fucking man
comes in
tries to take
all the fucking shit
and control everything
well that's how it started
is because people I had the idea and well before this is pre-nerdist pre-earwolf and wanted to
band everyone together right and do this who said independence and especially professional
comedians all coming together and doing this and uh then we i mentioned this idea
to this guy who did radio advertising he goes we love this we want to build your website and he
offered us 10 of our own company and we said no we're not gonna do that it got down he negotiated
down to 50 and he was going to pay bill and myself a hundred thousand dollars a year for five years
50% and he was going to pay Bill and myself $100,000 a year for five years.
Huh.
And we said, go fuck yourself.
Ah, I get it.
Yeah.
Go fuck.
Go fuck yourself, you fucking cocksucker.
Fucking assholes.
Fucking take everything we make.
That is such a good Bill Burr.
Oh, man. It was like two Bill Burrs telling him to fuck himself.
It was just, that was my favorite thing of the intro track.
It's only two minutes long.
Oh, yeah.
All Things Comedy and then About.
And it says Bill Burr on All Things Comedy.
But it's right when we started and we had 10 podcasts.
Now we have close to 60.
And it's just going to keep growing.
That's it.
60.
That's it.
We're capping it.
I can't take it.
Sorry, new podcast.
One of them has to die, and then a new one can be added.
You can bring out a new one.
Yeah.
There's a lot of maintenance that goes on,
and being a non-for-profit really is what we are.
Yeah.
It's a lot of work.
You should get non-for-profit status.
Government.
Hello.
Hello.
Work for the Scientologist.
Oh, my gosh. Thank you so much for being our guest.
Oh, thanks.
Thanks for, and then, yeah, I'm doing stand-up all over the place, so.
Almadrigal.com?
Yeah.
I'm getting better about posting dates on there.
There you go.
Just go hard till you're 50.
That's my advice to you.
Yeah.
Really go for it.
Yeah, just go for it.
Like Rocky 5. What did we learn? Let's recap. Okay's my advice to you. Yeah. Really go for it. Yeah, just go for it. Like Rocky 5.
What did we learn?
Let's recap.
Okay.
Okay.
Shave the beard.
Dress like me.
Consider it.
Consider it.
Do the web series.
Web series.
It was very funny.
The biker.
Yeah, the biker.
We got to do that.
Did that character exist before today?
No, no.
Okay.
No, we were talking about it.
It was just like,
John Bueller one time said that I look like I do the accounts for the Hells Angels.
Sure.
Yeah.
Like, you guys got to save your receipts.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then we learned about the fishermen.
It's just not, well, past 50, like setting yourself up to really relax.
Yeah.
We learned about crop dusting.
We learned that.
Yeah, we learned about it.
We learned about ice cream.
My love of ice cream.
From the Chapman's folks.
We learned about dancing.
Yeah, dancing and fear of dancing.
It's better to judge other dancers than to dance yourself.
And you have nothing to fear.
The nightclub relish.
Yeah.
We learned a relish.
We learned that some people in South Florida hate email.
But they like it.
There's some good overheard.
Yeah, we made it.
We did it.
Well, thanks for having me on.
This is our last episode before our live show.
Yeah, we're doing a live show to benefit
a gentleman that's
getting cancer
treatments done. In the United
States. Yeah, very expensive.
Is there a sort of campaign
listeners donate? Yeah. Yeah, and they
have done. Some people have donated
and that's... We'll post a link
to it over at
the episode recap
At MaximumFun.org
And you can get tickets for the live show
At RioTheatreTickets.ca
At the Rio Theatre in Vancouver
And it'll sell out
It's going to sell out
So get
If you're on the fence
Get the tickets now
Get off the fence
Who's the guest for that?
We have a couple of local favorites.
We've got Charlie Demers and Alicia Tobin,
and the opening act is the Sunday Service.
So it's a great, great show.
Great cause.
Yeah.
Come on.
Have some fun.
You know?
Loosen up.
Loosen up.
Exactly.
Live your life.
Yeah, come on.
For cancer.
Yeah, of course.
Live your life so that others may also.
Yeah.
And if you like the show, tell your friends.
And come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself.
Maximumfun.orgorg Comedy and culture. Artist owned.
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