Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 378 - Mark Chavez

Episode Date: June 15, 2015

Mark Chavez returns to talk unruly passengers, the midnight sun, and professional soccer.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 378 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name's Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who with him I'm never losing because he knows that my name is not Susan, Mr. Dave Shumka. Is that the Salt-N-Pepa song where she wants a guy who's got a body like Arnold with a Denzel face?

I've never known a woman in my entire life who is attracted to Arnold Schwarzenegger's body. Also, big burn to Arnold Schwarzenegger. Yowch. Although, it's weirdly like they have the same skin tone. Because Arnold Schwarzenegger, when he's doing the bodybuilding thing. Oh, yeah. So tanned. Yeah. It's like too much too much uh bronzer for the fonzer was arnold schwarzenegger the fonzer yeah he was known as the fonzer um it's german and our our guest today returning

guest uh he is one half of the sketch comedy duo the Pajama Men, Mr. Mark Chavez is our guest. Oh, hi guys. Hello. Hi Mark. So nice to be back. Thanks. I've actually been here the entire time since my last appearance. Oh yeah?

In the house? Yeah, just hanging out. In my home? Yeah. So you've seen a lot of stuff. Oh yeah. Whoa. You saw that home birth we had.

Oh my goodness. It's weird, we had the baby conceived in a hospital, but we gave birth at home. I have these fantasies. Yeah, yeah. Where I'm a dirty orderly. You read the manual wrong. I mean, there are dirty orderlies. Of course there are.

Yeah. There's only dirty orderlies. Do you think? There's disorderlies. Oh, absolutely. Fat Of course there are. Yeah. There's only dirty orderlies. Do you think? There's disorderlies. Oh, absolutely. Fat boys? Were they? Yeah.

Should we get to know us? Yeah. Get to know us. So since last year here, you've gone all the way around the world, pretty much. Yeah, I flew around the world since last I was in- In a balloon. In Vancouver. I wish.

Yeah. Someone challenged you to a race around the world. Yeah, yeah. Jules Verne style. I mean, it's not, you know, people have, you know, I had, you know, I am sitting on the shoulders of aviators. Like, I didn't do anything. Right. I got in an airplane and flew. But it was, it was.

You're risking your life every time you get in an airplane. It's what I feel like. Yeah. You'd think I'd be more used to it, but I still am not that excited about flying. But I'm okay with it. Like, I'm fine with it. Like, do you have a routine? Yeah.

Get smashed. Yeah. Get on airplane. Oh. Then do my routine. Fun. Yeah. No, there was a guy doing it. I think I told you this. I told you. I mentioned Yeah. No,

I, uh, there was a guy doing, I think I told you this. I told you, I told, I mentioned this to you, Graham, but,

uh, coming back. So I flew from, since I was last in Vancouver, I flew from Vancouver to Toronto, to London, to Australia, and then back to LA from Australia and then back up to Vancouver.

And my flight from Melbourne to LA, there was a man who was sitting next to me and took like a sleeping pill and then a whole bunch of, a whole bunch of booze. And, uh, he was like kind of popping these pills next to me, but this is just, it's like a cautionary tale. Like this guy went from like, totally fine. I was having a conversation with him. He worked in the nut industry.

Uh, he liked, like I talked to him about almonds about almonds like anything i was just picking up anything i could possibly think it was like oh bees bees bees are you how are the bees you know like is it true that almonds use so much water literally anything i could think of and he was you know and he was like what are you doing when i do comedy and he was like, what are you doing? I'm like, well, I do comedy. And he was like, hmm. Anyway, more about the nuts. What a relief. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Oh, that you didn't have to explain anything. Oh, no, I was very, very happy to not, you know, be like, oh, well, I do.

It's a sketch. It's a reel. It's kind of like improv. Mime. Speaking of comedy, have you seen that movie Mixed Nuts with Steve Martin? Very few nuts in that. movie Mixed Nuts with Steve Martin. Very few nuts in that.

So he was also it should be noted that he is about 6'4", maybe 280. And this is in economy? No, no, this is in premium economy. On the Qantas A380. Which has kind of a nice

section. It's fine. I think British Airways has a similar one where it's like a step above. Yeah. It's not business class, like definitely not. Right. But it's definitely not economy also. And you know, food's free. Yeah.

And they have, they have better service. Alcohol's free. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, it's a pleasant experience usually. Um, so what happened was, is I was on the window and he's in the aisle and he he um uh i fell asleep for about 45 minutes and i was talking and i woke up yeah it sounded just like that he's like let me tell you more about the home and then i was fighting a dragon uh in my dreams. So I woke up and he had like four glasses all half full with some sort of alcohol.

It just smelled like booze. And he had put Maltesers in each of the cups, which are those malted milk bowls. Yeah, yeah. And so he had them all in like just dipping them in there and was then smearing them on the screen. On the, on the, on the, just like painting them.

And there were, I took a photo. I just not going to, I can't, I took a photo of the screen just covered in Maltesers, just like sticking off. And I got a little panicked. I was like,

I'm sorry. I got to stop you. Covered in the chocolate. Not, he didn't stick them to it or did he? Yeah. He stuck them. Like he was making an art project. So they were, it was like a stop you. Yeah, please. Covered in the chocolate. Not, he didn't stick them to it. Or did he? Yeah, he stuck them, like he was making an art project. So, it was like a three-dimensional relief work. Yeah, they were sticking out.

They were like. And where did he get the cups? So, it looked like it was after a meal. So, he had like a couple cups from there. I think he ordered another drink. And like, you know, it didn't, you know, there didn't seem to be any kind of alarm bells being you know so it was like fine and they usually are pretty you know easy with the booze until you start going give me one more um so he uh i got a little bit like i was like well i gotta get i gotta go to the i just want to interact with this man and see

what's gonna happen right so i was like, I just got to pee. And so he goes, huh? He looked at me. He was like, kind of like, who are you? Like, when did you get in here? Yeah. And so he started, he took his credit card and he started scraping the chocolate off of the, like, just like, well, let me, well, let me get this out of your way. One second.

I will begin again. But there was, but there was, it's like one of those Buddhist, uh, sand or like, wipe it away. Or whatever the, the Gerhard Richter,

he's the guy who paints a bunch of stuff and then just drags a plexiglass thing across it. That's, that's who that guy is. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. And Gerhard Richter. Is that right?

Maybe. That sounds right. It's my mother's maiden name. Gerhard? We'll go back to that. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Gerhard Richter, is that right? Maybe. That sounds right. It's my mother's maiden name. Gerhard? We'll go back to that. Mom Gerhard. So he was like, whoa, whoa. And I get, like, he finally kind of moves.

He's just, he has no, he's looting, he's losing his motor skills. He's looting as well. He's looting. Taking all the Maltesers. Wow. And more happens. Like I could really get into more. No.

Oh yeah. We're here. We are here for this story. We're crazier craning. Okay. So I get up and I go to the bathroom and then I come back and I sit and I, he, I move out of the way and I sit down and then he just starts like going through like, like, and it seems like maybe, maybe that was just a little, maybe he was just doing the Malteser thing and now he's fine. All right. It's a mess.

Like there, like there's a stuff everywhere and it's all over him. It made me feel so weird. Like he was just covered in chocolate and he was like, and, and the and his words were, um, like his sentences were becoming less and less, uh, they're more and more fragmented. Like it was like, it started to be like, he was like, oh, cause when he was trying to get the chocolate off the screen, he eventually gave up and said, that's just going to stay there. So that was like, that was a sentence, but like things started like falling apart. He was like, he was like, and so I was getting a little, uh, no, this guy's like, is he gonna, what is he going to do? Yeah. Like, but nothing, like he was just all about himself.

Like he was just like, he wasn't like, like doing anything like super well. It's pretty crazy. It's pretty crazy. When he got up to let you out, was he stable? You know, here's the thing in it. This is why it's important that it was premium economy. There was enough leg room that I could get around him. Oh, so he just put up his tray.

Yeah. So he, that's why he had to like clean off the thing. And like, I could like, it was still a squeeze, but I could just like, kind of get right, he's a huge guy. And so I get back and, uh, uh, he starts to thrash around like literally thrash like he's just like moving his arms is he or his eyes open yeah and he's like he's it will comes he's looking for something and and he's just like like moving his shoulders and like he's got the seat in front of him and he's using that to brace himself so the person in front of him is like experiencing a car wreck like like for five minutes like just like and so she like she like she presses the button yeah you know she doesn't go like this is like she just goes ding and presses the button and the woman comes uh and then you know it's pretty clear what's going on. So she's like, so she goes to the guy and she's like, sir, um, uh, you're, you need to lean your chair.

Like her solution was that he needed to recline. Okay. Like this is the, this, the flight attendants be like, oh, maybe he just needs to recline because he's so big. Right. So she's like, you, you know, your seat can go back. And this is like, when she tells him that it's like, there is no, like he does not compute. He's like, just like, and she's like, do you, how far into the flight is this? Two hours of a 14 hour flight.

Oh, wow. Yeah. Um, so your new cellmate. Yeah, exactly. So it, so he, uh, maybe three hours. Cause it was like dinner. Like it was like, yeah, it was like three hours. Dinner, movie, Maltesers.

Malteser art. Yeah. And so all this while he has this cup and I, I didn't really put it together that he was like, like popping pills the whole time. But then I was like, those are like pills. Like they're not, they're something. Yeah.

They're not nuts. And so he just like, he keeps throwing one in like every, you know, five minutes or something. As doctor ordered. Yeah. Just keep swallowing these pills. And if you start to feel more anxious, take five more. Yeah. Just keep throwing them in your mouth like popcorn.

Until you're unable to grip the thing you're looking for. But still be searching for it. Yeah, and also be confused by simple directions. And so flight attendant comes back and is like, or she's still there. Is this to Australia, from Australia? From Australia. Is this guy Australian? No, he's from California.

Right. Not capital of the world. Yeah, yeah. australian is this guy australian no he's from california right uh not capital yeah yeah uh and he was in he wasn't in he was in selling he was at a very specific why maltesers then why not like a glossette or something nut they don't they don't stick as well yeah he really tried while you were asleep he tried all sorts of different products settled Settled on Maltesers. Like he was like, no, like M&M's don't do it. Yeah, he went to the vending machine on the airplane. I talked to this guy enough to know, like I interviewed him about his job. I was like, well, let's say I wanted to get into the nut industry.

Like what would I do? Oh, was your dad a nut? Yeah. It's a family business. Then you are you're screwed so he uh flight attendant is like kind of catching on that maybe that's more than just well we'll only serve him one more drink an hour yeah yeah so she says can i bring you some coffee and and like this is after he's been like rambling quite a bit. Yeah, bring me a hot beverage. I can't hold on to it.

And this is like the first thing that he, uh, it like said, he just kind of looks at her and he's like, maybe that's a good idea. And so, so she goes and gets him a very hot cup of coffee. Oh no, yeah, brother. Sets it on, uh, sets it on his tray and no lid. Countdown to splash. And literally, like not two seconds past where he does that reach with his hand.

His fingers are still bent and he's like, you know, depth perception is just gone. I mean, it looks like he just kind of like, and it was like when he saw it too, he was like, what's this? And he goes to, and he just all over me. I'm sure he's like, how much time has passed since I asked for the coffee and she brought it? It feels like four hours, but it was four seconds.

And it was scalding and got on him too. And then he. What else did it get on? Well, it was, it was all over me okay like it was like because he hit kind of at that angle but is his masterpiece his malteser masterpiece still intact well it's a scrape it off with a credit card during uh during when when she was like when she was like put your seat back she was like put your seat back she pulled out it was one of these like stowaway screens like so it comes out of the arm of the seat.

Oh, right. And so he had put it away so I could get by after he'd scraped off the stuff. But a lot remained. And so she, when she was trying to, she was also like, maybe I can put a movie on for you. Like he was two.

Because that's really what he's kind of reverted to. And so she pulls out the screen and there's this moment where she kind of like looks. This better be chocolate. Yeah, yeah. And it's like, I don don't remember maybe we missed this one in the cleanup like it was a braille movie it was you know it didn't have the chunks on it still but it was very messy it was really gross and so so i ring the call button i'm like in and the flight attendant comes back and I just kind of like shrug and just point at my

coffee stained lap. And, uh, and she's like, you know, mouths out, sorry. Like she wouldn't, she could have said anything. She didn't even mouth it out. Like the guy was out of it. What are you apologizing to him for? I'm the king of the plane.

I did nothing wrong. And so, king of the plane i did nothing wrong and so and so i get up and i go uh talk to them and i'm like i think he's taking a lot of pills like i'm watching he's definitely and she's like oh geez do you have a jail yeah where's the plane jail oh god there should be one yeah i'm i'm shocked that there is they would sell it they would sell the seat oh yeah it's true i'm sitting here well you can go to his seat no he fucked it up it should be like a cheap there should be a cheap ticket that's a plane jail and then you might you might oh you might get upgraded yeah it like some disaster. But you have to be strapped down in the plain jail seat. Oh, man.

With face masks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No biting. Oh, man. And so then their solution is like, well, let's move you. And I'm thinking, business class. First, you know, something. And she gives me a worse seat.

You can sit in the toilet. They sit, they sit me in between two people who were like, clearly they had owned the, the, the whole row. They were like, this is our row.

And then like, I get there. Yeah. Yeah. Why don't they move, hit this guy? I will just, well,

because he's impossible to move. Yeah. So, but I left a lot of my stuff there. So I sit in this like terrible kind of middle seat for the rest of the flight. And then I, it's getting near the time to go. So I go back and, uh, this, you know, 10 plus hours has gone by.

And so this is like. Did you talk to your new neighbors at all? Yeah, they were, they were sleeping. Oh, okay. But there wasn't like an explanation. There was no, I did try to, like, I was like, sorry, it's kind of a crazy guy and not interested. Like they were like. You ruined our flight sorry, it's kind of a crazy guy, and they're not interested.

They were like, you ruined our flight. You're our Malteser guy. Exactly. So I go back, and things have changed. He is aware. He looks like he kind of looked at the beginning of the flight, only covered in chocolate. Doing up his tie. Yeah.

Got a business meeting to go to right off the plate. Yeah. Turns out 40 pills was exactly the right number to get me through. And he says to me, like, I get in and he noticed that I had gone away. And we'd had such a, like, a nice interaction at the beginning of the flight. And he goes, I don't know what I got up to last night. And he says last night. Like you haven't crossed the date line.

There's no last night when you're on a flight. On a 14-hour flight, it does feel that way sometimes. Yeah, like, well, I'll call you in the morning. It's like the end of camp. I promise you'll write. Oh, at Rio. So he realized, he's now sobered up some. He had the look of like, oh man, we got crazy last night, didn't we? Yeah, weeds.

And then he kind of sees, I think I maybe, maybe had one too many drinks. And I was like, no, you took a pill. He's like, just a sleeping pill. I was like, yeah, but you didn't sleep. You were thrashing around for a good two hours. And he was like, hmm.

And then the topper is, he's like, can't find my wallet. And he starts doing the same kind of thrashing he was doing that got him in trouble in the first place. Like looking for the wallet. Oh my chocolate covered credit cards. I find it.

The wallet is under my seat. I'm like, oh, here it is. And I pull it out and I give it to him. He looks at it. He goes, there's $40 missing. And then had this eye like, kind of like, you took my wallet. Oh, wow. Which I would be entitled to as far as I'm concerned, but I did not steal the man's money.

Someone's cruising for plane jail. I know. That's the thing about going on like a long flight like that. Like if somebody starts acting crazy and you're over the ocean, what do you do? Do you have to turn the plane around? Yeah, they do. I once landed in Fiji because like there's places you can land on the Pacific. Why?

Why did you land in Fiji? To, quote, refuel. And then when we got there, they were like, oh, and also, one of the engines is being weird. But they didn't say that until we landed. Just a quick refueling stop. Nothing to panic about. And then worst of all, this is a totally different time. It was like 10 years ago.

But worst of all, they did that. And we were in Fiji, stuck there for almost 20 hours and just kind of waiting. And they're like, we're going to get a plane from San Francisco and bring it here. And then it'll take us the rest of the way to Australia. And then they were like, oh, the pilot came in, literally just came into the room. We were all waiting. It was like, actually, they're giving us clearances to go the way it is. So come on.

Like it was a road trip and just kind of waved us all. Yeah. And everybody likes slowly shuffles back on. Do we have to? Yeah. Are we stranded here now? Yeah. Yeah.

We gave it a couple of kicks. Thing didn't fall off. Back on everybody. The engine was being weird and on fire. Oh man I've never been on a plane where anybody Like I've been on planes where people Have misbehaved But never

Restrained the level of Oh no and this wasn't at that level either Because the guy was basically fine He didn't go to like open a door I told a story about a couple of months ago about thinking I was going to throw up and then I, I, I never have used the, uh, the call button, but I had to like get some ginger ale. Uh, and the woman, the surrogate was like, we'll be serving drinks shortly.

And like, I, it took me so long to work up the nerve to do the call button. And I think when I was a kid was work up the nerve to do the call button. And I think when I was a kid was the only other time I did the call button. Because you get on the plane, you push all the buttons. The flight attendant comes by. Was this an air sickness thing or you were sick? It was, I just woke up sick that day. I felt food poisoned. Right, right.

Food poisoned. And then going on a, yeah yeah like on a plane with that like that's the going on feeling 100 is terrible but going on feeling like do you need to take a sleeping pill ever i've never taken one i've i have never taken a sleep i took an over-the-counter sleep aid once, I guess, so never say never. But I've never taken like a, like, you can get like those crazy, like, these will guarantee knock you out. I'm kind of scared to do that. Just because, I don't know. I think I want to take one.

Because you might end up like a bald teaser. Yeah, exactly. Like, yeah. Like, I don't, because I don't know how to react. Yeah, I don't, like, yeah, I don't want to be out of control ever in any part of my life. And they say, and you should never take one when you're still on the ground because often people will like pop like four volume and then the plane will be like, actually, we're not going right now. Everyone get off the plane. You have to shuffle this.

Pants around your ankles. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's, uh, I don't, yeah. The thing too is with sleeping pills, you gotta go to like, you have to take them and then you have to go to sleep. Like you have to be like, okay, I'm doing, I'm going to watch a video. Yeah.

If you just keep doing stuff, I'm going to write my ex. Yeah. But like, if you just keep doing stuff, you won't fall asleep. I'm going to write my ex. Yeah. And I'm way more apt to keep doing stuff. Because like, once I try to relax. Yeah. Like any slight bump.

It's like, wait, wait, wait. I'm awake again. I'm like, what is, what was that? Everything's fine. Does everyone know I have a boner? Yeah. I'll ask. Y'all know?

Y'all know about this guy?'ll be serving drinks soon nice boner let this be a lesson to future guests of the show come with a story yeah absolutely sometimes we're like hey what's going on and they're like i don't know but mark Mark, right in there. Anecdote. Boom. Yeah, I was just thinking. I saw the picture I took today. Of the chocolate artwork? I don't know. I mean, maybe you could. We'll post it on the blog.

Yeah, because it doesn't show his face. Yeah, yeah. But even if. Yeah, even. Right? Yeah. You kind of forfeit your. Anonymity?

Yeah, yeah. When you're acting all crazy. There was a story in the paper like three weeks ago about a woman who her seatmate was snoring, and he woke up to her stabbing him with a pen. Oh, God. And they let her get back on another plane. Like, they landed, she got off, but she wasn't arrested. She didn't go to space jail? Plane jail?

Space jail. Wait a minute. We're going to fly as far up as we can, and then you're going to space jail. We're going to rocket you out of the plane. What's wrong with that? No, nothing wrong with that. I mean, look, we could save a lot of lives with space jail oh yeah international waters be damned international atmosphere um yeah like that prism that they put the

bad guys in and superman you know xeno in oh the mirror yeah that then just spins throughout our space yeah i was scared of that when I was little. Yeah, me too. It seemed very, also claustrophobic. I don't know if that has anything to do with it. To be in one pane of glass with your buddies that is spinning forever through. To be in two dimensions

instead of three. That's ultimate claustrophobia. You'd lose a whole dimension. Oh, yeah. That's why I couldn't marry Jessica Rabbit. But you had the opportunity. Well,

her maiden name wasn't rabbit yeah it was scareheart there was uh in that superman uh the remake like the most recent one man of steel where they when the zod gets put in their jail it's It's Todd. Oh, yeah. General Todd. They're clearly penis-shaped, right? The pods that they go in. It's clear that the animators were like, we'll just put it in the rough draft, and if nobody says anything, we'll just keep putting it in until it's in the finished movie. Just keep putting it in. So they all get into these penis things, and then they fly up to the ship and go into a

bigger ship. And it's like, I think everybody was afraid to be the one who mentioned it. Like, those look like penises. Look, we've already, this goes out tomorrow. Is that the man, is that the one that starts that has like Russell Crowe as the dad? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. It was, oh boy.

It was a lot of. From gladiator to daddyator, am I right? It was on TV the other day. And I never. Hand of Steel? Yeah. And I didn't see it before. I've never been interested in Superman.

I've never been interested in comic book people. Sure. But it was on. And I was like, oh, yeah oh yeah well i'm obsessed with the apocalypse like i feel like it's already the wheels are already set the earth is on fire now and um i was like oh i get it i get why people gravitate towards superheroes like we need we do need to be safe yeah yeah like yeah. Like, if Superman was here, he would just blow on the planet,

and we'd be fine. But he, in the movie, he's mostly not Clark Kent. Like, he is, but he's not the Clark Kent at the newspaper or whatever. He's bearded Clark Kent. Yeah.

And then at the end, he shows up in the office, and he's huge. he is a gigantic man that if you saw him in an office you'd be like we hired a bouncer to work in our i mean like the suit is barely buttoning he's so gigantic he's got a body like arnold though where's the denzel face? This is our new reporter. Clark Kent is just his suits ripping off of him. Hi, I'm a normal person like you.

He wouldn't have time to report with a physique like that. Yeah, and they're like, how are you getting all these outer space shots? I know a guy in space jail. shots. Um, uh, I know a guy in space jail. I bribed a guard

in space jail to take them. Anyways. Yeah. I just, uh, yeah. Uh,

plane travel. Not, what's the, uh, what is the smallest plane that you've been on?

Uh, I, um, cause I was on a very small plane this week mean i oh really oh did you did you because you went up north i went up north let's get to know you yeah no let's get to know you well why why okay we'll go this way the flow yeah uh i was on a seven seater plane oh wow that's the smallest plane including the pilot? Yes. Yeah. So from Whitehorse to Dawson City, Yukon.

In the Yukon. Okay. And like it was so small. How small was it? Well, it was pretty small. I don't have a punchline for it. Yeah, yeah. Okay.

You used up all your comedy in the Yukon. Yeah. It was propeller, obviously. Pretty good. Did you take a picture with your iPhone and you're like, what? The propellers are all wonky. Charlie Demers did. Yeah.

And it was like you had to wear a headset. Even as a passenger? Yeah. Oh. Because it was so loud. Oh, wow. Like you would have been deaf by the time you got off the plane. Does the pilot have jokes?

Like, hey, get on. We're going to see if we can get this guy. Yeah. He was so nonchalant about it because he does this six times a day. Who was it? The pilot. No, who was on the flight with you? It was myself and Steve Patterson, the host of The Debaters.

And then Charlie Demers. And the host of that House and Garden TV show. Which I haven't seen. What's it called? I don't know. Wait, who's the host of a House and Garden TV show? Steve Patterson. Yeah, he's got two gigs.

I know. And he's a comedian. And then Charlie Demers. And then me trying not to throw up. Because I don't do well with the little tiny, where you feel every single air pocket. So it actually makes you feel sick? Or is it? Because when I'm feeling every little air pocket, I'm going, we're going to die.

But are you going like, oh, it's too much motion. Yeah, it's like, you know, on a roller coaster where you do the drop? Yeah, I like that. I mean, I like that feeling. I don't like to spin but i like as long as i'm going forward i can take anything yeah i don't uh if it's if i know i'm on a roller coaster where like this is supposed to happen then my brain is like we're having fun but on a plane i'm like i don't know how long the flight is this two hours whoa yeah on a tiny plane tiny plane oh

i was expecting like 35 minutes no because dawson City is a five or six hour drive from Whitehorse. I feel like a five or six hour drive is still a 15 minute flight no matter what. Yeah, I know. It should be a 45 minute flight. But little planes go really slow. Yeah, they fly at like 10,000 feet and basically just, they should just drive there. Yeah, they just putter along in the sky. They go halfway and you have to parachute the rest of the way oh yeah that was the weird thing in

dawson city there's like uh fucking gliders everywhere people on like parachute things just gliding around the mountain mountainous it's yeah it's all surrounded by mountains and it's like an old west town like it hasn't changed it's the klondike it is the klondike still the only store they have that you would it's like a modern store is home hardware that's it home of the handyman yeah but it's even it's old-timey oh you should have picked me up one of those unbreakable uh hoses unbreakable see-through hoses oh Oh, yeah. Oh, and they're easy to store. They go, they flatten out. Ooh. Go back. Yeah, I will.

And, yeah, that's the thing up there is that it's like, we haven't changed since the Klondike. Like, nothing has changed.

And, I mean, they got Wi-Fi and stuff, but. Only that's changed. Yeah. Nothing else. And it's not good Wi-Fi.

Yeah, it's really bad. Yeah, it's weak. It's not good Wi-Fi Yeah it's really bad It's weak It's old west Wi-Fi This Wi-Fi Haunted Haunted Wi-Fi I'm panning for a signal

We struck Wi-Fi And it's like The whole town is like It's geared towards Tourists right And But we were there Just before The tourists all showed up.

Right before they bring in the good planes. Yeah. Man, that guy was so cool about the whole thing. The pilot? The pilot, yeah. Yeah, he would be. He was just like... But the landing, I've never been a part of a landing that soft.

It was just like boop boop. And you didn't feel it at all. Like you were still waiting for the tires to hit. Yeah. And then you'd stopped. And it, yeah. Hovering. We're surely hovering.

Yeah. And like, yeah, you almost seem kind of bored by the whole thing. And, and then, yeah, but it was that the flying in was like i was like i don't care for this at all and uh also the sun doesn't really go down oh yeah so uh we did a show and then we went drinking and then you walk out of the bar and it's like 11 30 and it's still just noonday sun and uh everybody's walking around like that's not weird everybody's pretending like that's a normal thing like there's people drinking on the street and you're like what is going on it's noon it's so crazy how do they know and it's not even a time change or like no there's no time yeah yeah it's just all of a

sudden i think the sun goes down for three hours and then comes back up again oh it comes back up yeah the sun goes down and it comes back up it's like It goes down. It comes back up. It's like, did I? Sorry, did I leave my wallet in here? I'm sorry. There's 40 bucks missing. Are you guys sleeping? I'm sorry. But sure, the sun goes down for three hours, and then who knows what happens. Well, that's anybody's guess, you know?

But in July, I guess it just stays, it's just up all the time. I don't know how people aren't crazier there because everybody seemed very they're everybody's very friendly is it it's in the south of the yukon or is it up north like north like because the white north north north of white horse north white horse yeah is it the furthest north you north you've ever been yes it was like yeah. So how close to the North Pole? It's, I don't know, actually. Could you hear Santa? Yeah. Well, I knew that we were in the HO, HO, HO area code or postal code.

But yeah. And like, so it's all prospector everything, you know? And like everybody said, you have to do this one thing where you go to this hotel. The sour toe. And it's an old tradition that started like back in the Klondike apparently, where somebody lost a toe due to frostbite and they put it in alcohol at this bar and people would drink a shot with the toe in it. And the toe has to hit your lip. It has to touch your lip. So you drink a shot with the toe in it and the toe has to hit your lip it has to touch your lip did you drink a shot out of the bottle no they put a shot in a glass for you and then they put the toe in the glass oh the term sour it's so because sometimes you know because people sometimes have sour smelling feet yeah but it's because sourdough is like the big oh yeah yeah that's what it's from yeah

cuz like that was the only kind of bread or whatever you could make up there cuz you had to if you went to the Klondike you had to bring I like a ton of food and a ton of equipment right or you wouldn't be allowed in and it's called the mother. The starter of sourdough is called the mother. Oh, yeah. And it lasts for generations. You have to keep the mother. So you can take a part of it. Ew, gross.

That's grosser than the toe thing. Or you take the mother and you make dough with it. And then you pull out some. So who knows how much is. Who's the father of this delicious bread I made? Oh, no. And you did the. What's the father of this delicious bread i mean oh no so and you did that what's the shot of uh it had to it could be anything but it had to be a certain alcohol content so is it a real toe is it the same toe from back then no because uh someone swallowed it yeah that is exactly it

if you swallow it you gotta give your own toe no they're used to this guy. Like, there's a sign that says the fine for swallowing the toe is $500. And these guys all. It's worth it. That some guy came in from mining gold, and he had all this money. And he's like, what can I do with $500? And somebody's like, if you swallow the toe, it's $500. He's like, done. And he swallowed it.

But it feels more like a punishment like if i struck gold i'd be like i never have to swallow another toe was it quentin tarantino yeah yeah he loves toes um what toe is it well that's the thing what do you think i'm picturing big toe yeah it is a big toe i was picturing a pinky toe. Oh, that's so much grosser. Yeah, but it's more swallowable. Yeah, no, it was a big toe. It's so much more swallowable. I couldn't swallow a big toe. No.

Although, you'd be surprised. What you're capable of after 40 volume. The skeptic in me thinks that these aren't microphones. That it's not a real tow. We also thought it wasn't a real tow. But what are you going to do, squish it? Well, that's part of it. What happens is there's this old guy, and he's wearing a captain's outfit.

And you have to sit there, and he reads you the certificate. This is not a maritime city, though, is it? No. But there's a paddle boat that goes up and down the river. And so he makes you sign a thing, say where you're from, because he keeps a log of everybody that's done it. Nice. And people, apparently, after the guy swallowed the toe, they were flooded with people saying, I can send you a toe. And people sending toes.

From Germany. Yeah. I was going to let somebody eat this, but. know what put it in a shot i don't care just send me photos it was on kriegs list it'll get eaten eventually yeah it's a war list so uh like so the toes just sitting there on this like napkin or whatever and uh they don't keep it in, like, a special, like, I don't know, pedestal? No. Why is it? It's not, yeah, it's not in a, it's on a napkin.

Yeah. And I think, like, if he was waiting there, he would drop it in a thing of alcohol. Oh, my God. And then, so you, he puts the toe in the drink and he, like, says like says a rhyme or something and then you gotta do the shot and then always the toe gets stuck so you have to wait for it to roll down towards your lips and then and then

why don't they just put it in like a martini glass swirl it around put it in a snifter and then the guy he wrings it out. Because he doesn't want to contaminate the next glass. And then you have to drink what he drank out of it. No, no, no. No, you don't.

You don't have to do anything. Well, no, yeah, you're paying for the... Can a severed toe wring? Is it wearing a severed toe ring? Yeah. It said Mindy. Oh, no. Yeah, I know.

I would drink a lady's toe. Yeah, why not? Oh, yeah, definitely. Ladies, that's no question. But a man toe? Yeah. Man toe sounds horrible. I think in the history of the world, well, I feel like in the history of the world, I'm just going to skew

what I'm about to say. For the 20th century on, 90% of the toes that have been lost to frostbite have been men's toes. Sorry, ladies. And like, that was the thing going into it. I was like, for sure, this is a fake toe. But then when I saw it, I was

like, ugh, that's real. Do you get to wring it out yourself? No, no. He wrings it out yourself? No no he wrings it out He knows the system What happens when something is stored in alcohol? It's not pickled it's been Yeah it is it's like pickled In what color was it? Black

Was this the one that went to market? No You start with the pinky don't you? No the pinky goes wee wee wee Yeah that's the one that went to market. Yeah, that's the one that went to market. Oh, man, I'm the beef. This little piggy had roast beef.

This little piggy had known. Should have known. Yeah, so we did that. We drank the toe. You all did it. Yeah, we all did it. Right. Charlie was the least excited about it but he did it and then

we got our certificates charlie's a real i'm surprised like hypochondria yeah i'm really like a legitimate but he's uh uh he's a he's got the adventurer spirit you know he's up there wants to see all the things but like afterwards was he like i'm gonna die no no uh well maybe i don't remember i was very drunk did i ask it was still noon forever noon yeah what was the alcohol that you had they said they were like you can have whatever but a lot of people do it out of a thing called Yukon Jack. Oh, Yukon Jack. Which is some liqueur. Yeah. It's a what? It's not like cologne.

It's yellow. Yellow. Yeah. Real, real gross contrast. Everything is so gross. Was it one, you were there one night? We were in Dawson City one night, yeah. So we did that.

And then the other thing, they were like, you got to go to this crazy bar called The Pit. And it was just a crazy bar. You drink a finger. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You get behind the bar and a dog attacks you. Don't let him near the toe, though. We lost a lot of toes to dogs and they don't have $500. Very few of these dogs have $500.

And then we went to, there's like a place that's been there since the Gold Rush called Diamond Tooth Gerties, which is a casino. I've never seen anything like it. There's probably nothing else like it in Canada where it's like a casino and showroom, but it looks like a hall, like a community center hall kind of thing. So it's like, I think it used to be like a hall for, you know, guys that got together and drank and then they turned

it into casino. So there's like a casino all around and then there's like a floor where people sit and watch this show. Oh,

right. And then there's a bar too where people are just getting hammered. Yeah. And, uh,

so I've never seen anything like it. And then they do like a big review. Like there's like singing and dancing and all that kind of stuff. And, uh, so I've never seen anything like it. And then they do like a big review. Like there's like singing and dancing and all that kind of stuff. And everything is sort of gold rush theme. I'm guessing. The early show is,

but the late show is like all modern. They sang uptown funk. Oh, cool. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. And,

uh, it was good. It was like a really good show. And then like we walked out one 30 in the morning, still bright as fucking day. Like had to put on my sunglasses to walk back to the hotel. That was cool though. Yeah, it was really cool.

And then, yeah, it just felt like, I haven't felt right since. Because then I had to get back on that tiny little plane. Yeah, with a hangover, I'm sure. Oh, the worst. They didn't serve drinks on that tiny little plane. Yeah, with a hangover, I'm sure. Oh. Oh, the worst. And, uh. Did they serve, they didn't serve drinks on that plane?

Uh, it would just have to be everybody passing around a bottle. Yeah. Yeah. Which, uh, he wasn't against, but he was like,

you had to bring your own bottle. Right, right. That's nice. It's not like driving law where you're not allowed to have an open bottle. He's like, uh,

if you guys want to gamble, you can do that. Uh. Well, you can gamble while you want to gamble, you can do that. Well, you can gamble while you drive. There's no law against that. Are you sure? Well, you can't play it on your phone. Yeah, that's true.

Everybody can text while we're over. If you're in motion, you can gamble. But if you're sailing, isn't that the rule? That's why boats work. That's why Rick Hansen raised all that money while gambling. In the Men in motion tour but then also uh the the uh um like the flight uh like this guy like this is he does this all the time and so that everybody pilot well the pilot but he everybody that we met following that all all they wanted to know was if we did the toe right that was the thing then

you got a certificate yeah yeah yeah well i think i lost mine but it doesn't matter also i didn't have any internet up there so i was taking photos of stuff but then i was like what do you do with photos if you can't put them on the internet yeah useless you i yeah i sometimes see that when people are traveling and they're like they just post a bunch all at once because i guess they got back to the hotel and when we were in whitehorse uh we were looking for a place to eat and charlie was like oh i went to this one bar the last time i was here that had a mummified cat and we were like okay well that's as good as any reason to go to a place and then we sat down they she took our order and then we're like hey where's the mumbo-hide cat she's like oh it got broken so

we're like oh you don't even have the thing yeah and it's even on the menu it says on the menu it says the oldest pussy in town so i'm like that's not a phrase that people use prove it check this out you're older than this guy like do you think people are going like I'm here for the oh mummy cat you got me

oh I wanted that weird old one but I guess you got me on a turn of phrase here's my money I'm still gonna take a picture of it

upload it when I get back to the hotel yeah so that was my that was my up north Yeah. Here's my money. I'm still going to take a picture of it, upload it when I get back to the hotel. Yeah, so that was my up north Dawson City adventure. Up north funk. Yeah. Amazing. I want to go. I'm going to go.

If you get the opportunity, I would highly recommend it. I'm going to go. Yeah. I don't know if we, when you were last here, you're from Albuquerque. Albuquerque? Albuquerque, New Mexico. When you were last here, do you know it had Breaking Bad ended? It had not yet. And was there, were you there when it did and was there? You know what? I absolutely was. It's funny you should ask. Everyone went and threw a pizza on that house. It was nuts. And I was,

I just happened to be in town for the finale. Huh. And it was, um. I stopped listening halfway through your story because I thought to ask him. It was. Understood. So it was in October, I think, of last year. I don't know. It doesn't matter.

But, uh, so, so the finale happened and it's like, it was at a, it was a world event in Albuquerque. Just like everything stopped to watch, to watch the finale. And, uh. It would have been a good time to make meth undetected. Yeah. My brother. Oh my gosh.

Absolutely. Well, my brother, um, was also in town, uh, and he and his wife wanted to go on a tour, which is really funny because he grew up in New Mexico and Albuquerque just like I did. So most of the stops on the Breaking Bad tour are like, we're like, oh yeah, that place. Is there just one

Breaking Bad tour or are there competing ones? Well, like there are plenty of Beatles tours in Liverpool. There's an RV tour that I think a guy

like has an RV and is like, I got a great idea. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get in this RV, which incidentally doesn't have that many windows. I don't know how.

You're going to have to take my word for it. We're passing by Better Call Saul's office now. It must be, yeah, don't know but uh and then there's like a bus tour we went and you can do it all you have to do is just know where to go but you can just download a thing and it's like here are all the stops and we spread the flight attendant it's the same flight And nice boner. Well, she knows it. We went, my stepfather took me and my brother and a little kid, a little adopt, not my little kid, but my parents. My little adopted kid or whatever.

My parents, who are seniors now, have adopted children who are now in high school age. And so a couple of them came and so we a couple of them came with us a couple little kids and uh and we went on this uh breaking bad tour um but the thing is like one of the things about about the so like we were like like seeing all the sites like there's this dam that's like a part of the one of the last episodes like oh there's the dam and it's like that i know and here's the better call sol off it's like oh it's that one of the last episodes. Like, oh, there's the dam. And it was like that. I know. And here's the Better Call Saul office. Like, oh, it's that place?

Oh, I didn't know. Yeah. But it's like, it's. It's just regular places. It's just things. Yeah. Yeah. That car wash though. Everyone knows that car wash.

Yeah. We went to the car wash and we did, you know, and it was just, it was a funny situation because if my brother wanted to, it was just funny. It was like, it was like, why are we, this is, we're just like taking a tour of Albuquerque. Yeah, yeah. But so we did that leading up. And then the, there's a donut place that serves very Breaking Bad specific donuts. Okay.

And that's kind of how they got popular. And so they do this, they do this specific donut. It's called like, I think it's just called like the blue ice donut or something but it's it's blue icing and then rock candy that looks like meth yeah sprinkled on it you're like delicious crunch crunch crunch what a what a meshing of flavors yeah and and he he was like well we have to get the breaking bad donuts for the series finale like who are you and so, and he has a little boy. He has a, well, he has two now. At the time he just had a little boy and he was like.

He adopted one from your parents. Yeah. They were like, we have too many. And he, so he was like, okay, I'll order the donuts. You go get them. And I, I hate, I don't hate, but I very much am not into standing in long lines for like kind of a fatty fad. Right.

Kind of thing. You know, it's like, I don't, I, I know what donuts are. This is literally a fatty fad. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And, uh, and, and so I get there, you'd order this dozen donuts from this specific donut place. And I get there and there's a line like it's the worst it's the finale day and there's a line like like wrapped around itself it's like eating itself

because they're so hungry yeah exactly the people in the back and the people in the front don't know where like i thought you were the back and i thought you were the back there's no donuts here we're just walking in a circle ah that's the donut yeah we are the donut we are the donut uh so they uh and i'm like i'm just like but you know i love my brother and i just fine so i'm like i'm just gonna i'll stay and it wasn't even you know but it was it was like 30 minutes know, of waiting for donuts. But because we had ordered, we got them. Go get them.

And then, and then an experience happened that I'm not used to is I watched Breaking Bad on television, which I never done. Oh, yeah. I always watch it on whatever. Like on, yeah, a laptop. Exactly. And, uh, and there's commercials. Oh, yeah. And my stepdad's deaf. so it was like blaring loud.

But, you know, the family was all there, and it was very nice. But, yeah. And was there at least one person who had not seen one episode? And it was like, what's going on? Yeah. No, thankfully. Who's that guy? Yeah.

So who's he? Is he Breaking Bad? Is that Breaking Bad? going on yeah no thanks that guy yeah so who's he why is he breaking bad is that breaking bad would be on like a uh a tour of the vancouver film location oh x-files but like what well there's that uh there's like a motel on kingsway that's like crazy you know the one yeah yeah and one time i was working on a music video, and we were in these tunnels underneath this hospital, and they had all been caked with goo because the X-Files had been there. And the guy kept bragging.

He was like, ah, the X-Files were shot here. And I was like, really? And he said, nah, I don't know. He's like, so a lot of stuff was shot here. There'd be. The Flash. Yeah, but what? What place?

I want to see the Battlestar Galactica. The CBC building's all over. Flash. Oh, was Battlestar Galactica shot here? Oh, yeah. The roller coaster from Fear. The library from Schwarzenegger movie. Oh, yeah, the Six Day.

Yeah, Six Day. My high school was where they shot 21 Jump Street, the TV show. There was a rooftop. In Madison. There was a rooftop that overlooks the Vancouver Harbor. From that Zucker Baby video? No, Fantastic Four. You can tell, you're like, oh yeah, that's Vancouver.

And it's this one rooftop that they all use. The basketball court from Catwoman, where she played basketball. Well, I have to take your word for it. Guys, remember this? Catwoman. Okay, Catwoman was shot here. Was that? Yeah.

Holly Berry. Whoopi Goldberg played Catwoman, and she was a basketball coach? No. No, that was when she coached a team of ghosts. And she said, I'm having none of that. Was Common on the team, and he fell in love with Queen Latifah? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the general manager was a dinosaur.

I thought it was a little kid. A little kid who inherited the nicks. I love those movies where the adults just do a quick blush over the legal and they're like, well, hands are tied unless we murder that kid.

We can make it look like an accident. We're grownups. Yeah, yeah. This would be very easy. Kids are very dumb. Why don't we let the wet bandits handle this? Oh, no. Have you guys seen that movie In Bruges?

Yeah. In Bruges Yeah In Bruges It's a really great part It's for those of you Who don't know It's a movie starring Who is in it Colin Farrell Colin Farrell

And what's his name Colin Farrell Other Irish actor Yeah that big dude With the big ears Oh yeah From the station agent Yeah

He's awesome Oh what's his God damn name He's great I once saw him play music in a pub in dublin really yeah it like i asked this friend of ours we were in dublin i asked this this friend and he was like he was like i was like take us to a place where we can watch watch the music we're like he's like i know just the place it was magical he took us it was like really quiet

empty brendan gleason and brendan gleason was there with his like little band and they were just practicing wow like we sat next to them and with his like little band and they were just practicing. Wow. Like we sat next to them and there was us and them. What kind of music? U2 covers? Yeah, yeah. U2 covers. Only U2 covers.

Anyway, in Bruges, there's this great line where the, they go to the, cause they want to, part of the whole deal is they have to stay in the same hotel room. Right. And they get to the hotel and they're like, we need two, two hotel rooms. And she goes, there's only one room. And all the other hotels are full. You know. It's Bruges season.

And it's like done. The whole movie is just set. Explain the way. In one line. Now you have to stay in the hotel. Yeah, yeah. You know. I don't want to look dumb.

Yeah, yeah. I get how Bruges. I don't want to look dumb in front of these Belgians. Dave, what's going on with you, man? But what? We've already been through... It's never... What?

How can a podcast work in this direction? Here's what's up with me. This past weekend was a long weekend here in Canada. We're pre-taping a bunch of episodes, but it was probably a long weekend when this was released. Yeah. Oh, there are none in June. We're pre-taping a bunch of episodes, but it was probably a long weekend when this was released. Yeah. Oh, there are none in June. That's what makes it the cruelest month.

My wife, Abby, and my baby, Margo, we went to a soccer game, a professional soccer game. Go Whitecaps! Yep. We did it. White is the color. Soccer is the game. We're all together. And winning is our reign. White is the color Soccer is the game We're all together

And winning is our reign White is the color I know right Wait you were serious? Yeah That's actually the song? Yikes It was written in the 70s

Before Canada had immigration White is the color Be like that forever let's all have lots of babies so uh we went to go see a major league soccer game yeah um and then it was on a saturday and on friday night i was like there's a soccer game tomorrow why don't i look into seeing if we can go we like bringing the baby to things sure uh and let's see if this is a feasible thing like i saw nowhere there's for some reason on the website there's no like here's what to do with a baby at the game don't throw it on the field we've got enough

um so it was uh uh yeah i just was, well, I have no idea what tickets cost. I know what hockey tickets cost. Yeah, my guess is zero dollars for soccer. Yeah, like everybody gets in free. They make money off of the hot dogs or something like that. Yeah, no, it's a weird tax loophole. If we're all out of here in 45 minutes, then technically this was a church.

As long as we do that white power chant at the beginning. Tickets are like $75. Which compared to a hockey game, the tickets for where we had seats for a hockey game would have been $400.

Okay. All right. So you're right on the ice. Yeah, is that good to be close to the field? Yeah. Okay. We're like in the, I don't know, 15th, 17th row, row T.

Yeah, okay. Whatever letter of the alphabet that is. the row row t yeah whatever letter of the alphabet that is um and uh so we we go and we're bringing the baby and like traffic is is blocked off for a couple blocks and we're just walking in a crowd full of people and there's music and the baby's looking around and she's loving it and uh we get in and there's a crowd around and uh we go to our seats and it's like loud and there's stuff going on and we're all excited about it. And like, I'm saying like, oh man, these, these tickets are 75 bucks. Like, I don't know how many games they play a year, but we could like, I'm when we get home, I'm going to look into season tickets. Oh, right.

You had that much fun. At the beginning. We'll see where we're heading. Yeah, yeah. And it's loud, like there's music playing, and we brought those little baby headphones for Margot to wear. So that she could listen to the radio also. Yeah, she likes to hear the call.

And we've got the ball call those like kicked the ball those ear blocking or noise canceling headphones yeah and you're supposed to use them when the baby or what like you can do damage to a baby's hearing if the the the noise is like loud enough that you have to raise your voice to be heard like right to someone and it wasn't quite there but it was it was getting pretty noisy so we put them on her and oh what happened is uh these two uh like shitty looking 11 year olds with no with no uh supervision yeah came and sat in our row who clearly had 75 each burning a hole in their head one of them had an air horn. Oh, my God. So we were like, okay, we'll put these on the baby. Okay, all right.

And there's like a little, there's, you know, the jumbotrons going on and people. Was the dome open? Yes. Because that's the big thing. Retractable dome. The jumbotrons going on and and people are dancing and singing along, and they do the White Power song. And then they do the national anthem, and it's great, and it's loud.

And we were playing Seattle, and people from Seattle had traveled up, and like a third of the stadium was... What was their team called? The Sounders. Sure. After the dog from that book. What? I don't know what that means.

What book? Sounder. Okay, go ahead. And then I'm super excited and then the game starts and like all the noise dies down. Yeah. And I'm bored

and I look up and we're 28 seconds in. And I'm like, oh, this is it. It dies down. Yeah. And I'm bored and I look up and we're 28 seconds in. And I'm like, oh, this is it. It's just. Yeah. Hey kids, do that air horn again. Yeah. Come on.

I'm bored. Was there any goals? There were two goals against us. And how did that. Oh. Oh. So. At least something's going on.

It was a two nothing loss. It was a blowout. Yeah. Does the, does the soccer league, they, so I know LA's in it, Galaxy. Yeah. Then we got the Sounders. Yeah. And I'm done.

Whitecaps, is that it? Yeah. There's only like six. No, no, it's a big one. Okay. But there's like 40. Vancouver has a rich soccer heritage. Yeah.

The Whitecaps. Is that song really written in the 70s? I think so. So the Whitecaps haven't been playing that long. Well, no, they won. They were in the North American Soccer League, which is the one where Pele played for New York. Oh.

This is a fun tour. I'm glad we went on it. Yeah. The Pele tour. And then that league folded. And then the Canadian Soccer League started up. Oh, yeah. And we were the Vancouver 86ers at that time, which is a fun double entendre because it's.

Kill somebody. Yeah. Through 86 somebody. And it's also the year. The Sexpo. Yeah. The Expo. Vancouver Sexpo.

And the year it was founded in 1886. Oh, fun. Mm-hmm. Oh. And then that league folded. Oh, no. And now founded, in 1886. Oh, fun. Mm-hmm. Oh. And then that league folded. Oh, no. And now we're in this league. Which will fold.

And it's been the Whitecaps all along. No, it was the 86ers in between. 86 is the number. Killing is our game. White is the best race. What was that last word? Come on, everybody. Chant.

White power. But the funny thing is, is like I was prepared to like, I was doing the math. I was like, yeah, I'd spend $2,000 a year on soccer. Just from the pregame. Yeah. And I love hockey.

I don't spend, I spend maybe $0 on hockey. I don't spend, I spend maybe zero dollars on a hockey. Yeah. But yeah, I've only been to one Whitecaps game. And the, oh, I've been to none before this. I've been to one and I took a friend's kid to the Whitecaps game. And the kid was asking me all sorts of questions. About soccer?

Yeah, he's like, what is that? And I was like, oh, no, no, no. He's in the free zone. Don't worry about it. It's not like other sports that have whistles and stoppages. The clock just keeps running. Yeah, that's right. So there's nothing, there's no like,

we're going to commercial, so we have to do a fun activity in the stadium. Oh, yeah, and there's no time, I mean, any time to go get a hot dog. Well, yeah. There's that great thing at the end of soccer, too, where they're like, now, oh, I think we're going to do stoppage time now. We don't know how long it's going to be. Oh, six minutes.

Six extra minutes of game. Okay, cool. Go. Free minutes of game. Yeah, and Abby was like, the baby got hungry at one point, and Abby was like, there is a family area that you can go to? And she was like, should I go there to breastfeed? And I was like, you might end up on the Jumbotron.

Like, that's always a concern. So she did go to the family. No, she's the nanny cam. She did some scarf placement. Oh, yeah, because everybody's got scarves family. No, she's... The nanny cam. She did some scarf placement. Ah, right. Oh, yeah, because everybody's got scarves there. Oh, yeah. Well, she didn't bring a soccer scarf.

White cap scarf. But now, white caps... It is a weird sport that every team has a scarf. Yeah. But was there anything that was at giveaways? No. Because it seems like the white caps would be a real big on giveaways. No.

It's not like baseball. There's no time. That's another thing. It's like there's not that like... You don't get to eat a real big on giveaways. No. It's not like baseball. There's no time. That's another thing. It's like, there's not that like. You don't get to eat a sundae out of a soccer helmet. Out of a soccer cleat. Yeah.

Those are the best. Those little helmets. I used to collect those. Yeah. That's a fun. That's the thing about like a minor league baseball team is every day is giveaway day. Get a key chain, get a thing, get a thing to sit on.

A cushion? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, I meant a key chain. You get a smaller key chain to sit on. Ow. So was that a first time, last time? Not last time, but not going to get season tickets. Nah, fair enough.

I know people who have them that are like, I'm European, so I thought it would be fun. I'm still wrong. Shame on us. But there's, you know, that's one of our... We only have one major league team, right? Yeah. And then everything else is...

Well, I mean, Canadian football is an important kind of football. Yeah, that's true, I guess. What's the football team here called? The BC Lions. Oh, the Lions, Canadian football is an important kind of football. Yeah, that's true, I guess. What's the football team here called? The BC Lions. Oh, the Lions, of course. Yeah, because of the crazy lion population. We used to have a basketball team, the Grizzlies. Oh, yeah.

And before that, we had a team. I forget the name of the league, but it was the league where you have to be under 6'5". The Cutie Patootie League. And Michael Jordan's brother, I think Larry, was in the league where you have to be under six foot five we the cutie patootie like michael jordan's brother i think larry was in the loop he played for the chicago express or something here's i was chatting about this with uh with charlie demers like michael jordan's brother played basketball and wayne gretzky's brother played hockey brothers yeah uh wouldn't you not if you were like ah you know i'm related to the guy who's the best guy at this thing i'm gonna just not i'm gonna go into something else yeah it's i mean it's

like a cast of entourage it's like they're all like they they finally got somewhere and they're all brothers of like yeah they're more famous you could have like hey uh oh i'm opening the gretzky hockey school. Oh really? Keith, are you? Cause don't they do this thing where it's the combined score of, uh, the Gretzky brothers have scored this many goals and it's all Gretzky. And then his brother scored one. He's had one goal. I don't know.

But like, what are you going to do though? Like if you're like, I'm like, they're both grew up loving hockey clearly. Or like, they were like, that's hard. It's a hard thing. Like, they both grew up loving hockey, clearly. Like, that's hard. Well, like, Chris Rock's brother was in Vancouver a couple weeks ago doing a show. And he's a comedian as well. Right. Tony Rock. And I was like, Gary Valentine.

Yeah, but it looks like it was by Valentine trying to make it on his own steam, I guess. But you're like, no, clearly this guy's related to Chris Rock. Right. And I don't know. It just seems like, oh, wouldn't that be so hard? Yeah. Well, it's epidemic. There are so many Frank Stallones and Kevin Farleys.

Jim Belushi. Yeah, that's what I was trying to think. Frank Stallone. But like Jim Belushi is doing great. He's doing, yeah, he's had a huge career. So like he, Jim Belushi's the one who's giving Larry Jordan employment. Like, giving Larry Jordan's dream alive. But what if?

Yeah. Yeah, that's, I don't know, that's touchy. But, you know, John Belushi died. Yeah, but, I don't know. Maybe if Michael Jordan died. Yeah, well. Oh, right. Then the Larry Jordan could have taken his place as a baseball player.

Yeah, it's one of those contracts where they're like well there's nothing in here that says that his brother can't step into his role yeah but he will travel with the team in air jail plane jail i don't know it's just it's tough if your thing that you're like i'm gonna do this and then like your brother's like i'm gonna try it too and then turns out to be the best yeah person at it yeah and then what yeah the thing is, like, what are you going to do, though? Like, what is he, like, just bum around? Wayne Gretzky's brother's car salesman, man. You've heard of Wayne Gretzky.

Buy a car from his brother. Yeah, but, like, yeah, Jeb Bush is running for president. There's no reason. Is he really? Yeah. I mean, not that his brother was the greatest president, I guess. But like, to be president, you have to, like, there's only so many people. Yeah, that's true.

Yeah, maybe they're just waiting their turn. It's like, as soon as Wayne's out of the picture. Yeah, when Wayne retires, I'm going to suddenly become good. I'll absorb his hockey power. At 60. All right, guys, this segment's gone long enough. Yeah, but I want to think Of other siblings

Oh sure And how troubling it is For them Okay Okay It's gonna be Condoleezza Rises Yeah

Jeez I don't know Is there like Nikki and Chrissy Taylor The models One of them died Mary Kate and Ashley Mary Kate, Ashley And Susan Olsen

No they have a sister, Elizabeth. All right. She's actually doing better in movies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. Elle Fanning's knocking Dakota's dick in the dirt. Look, these things happen every day. That's true.

Who's your favorite Arquette? Pick one. Who's the other one? Rosanna. Patricia. Patricia. Alexis. Who's Alexis other one? Rosanna Patricia Alexis Who's Alexis Arquette? I don't know

I don't know the proper pronoun For this person Oh yeah From the wedding singer Was on I want to say one of those celebrity Living in a house together shows Whatever that was called

It's real life Yeah I'm just gonna Get me out of this house No I know there's families celebrity living in a house together shows uh whatever that was called surreal life yeah get me out of this house no i know there's families there's that have you know siblings that do that yeah yeah i guess yeah so that's what they're thinking they're like well yeah we'll do this we'll be the sports baldwins isn't that the or brothers they're pretty much the sports baldwins aren't they or the there's the heavyweight're pretty much the sports Baldwins, aren't they? Orr? Bob? There's the heavyweight boxers. Who's that?

The Ukrainian, the champions. They're brothers. They're the champ. They're like the champ. I only recently found this out. But are they only the champions because they always fight together? It's always two guys against one guy. But you have to fight as both. Yeah, you have to fight as both.

We are brothers. And then an old guy's looking at the contract. Well, there's nothing in here that says that two guys can't fight us both. Yeah, you have to fight us both. We are brothers. And then an old guy's looking at the contract. Well, there's nothing in here that says that two guys can't fight one guy. Listener, I tried to get us out of this segment. We fight while doing potato sack race. Oh, anyways, do you want to move on to Overhearts? Oh, no, let's talk more. I'm Cameron Esposito.

I'm Rhea Butcher. I am Ricky Carmona. And we are the cast members. what, I don't know, podcastiness of Wham Bam Pow. That's an action sci-fi movie podcast you can find on MaximumFun.org or on iTunes. And what do we do? News reviews and things you can use. Tons of things you can use. We break it down so it can forever be broken.

Hilarious jokes. Plus, sometimes there's a dog in the studio. Sometimes there's a dog here. We'll see you in your earbuds. Hey, you like t-shirts, right? How about a mug? Are your walls looking a little bare? Visit maxfundstore.com and cover all of these bases and more.

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Segment in which we go out there you,, others, and we hear things, see things, and report them back here. We always like to start with the guest. Oh, okay. So why not lead the charge? Okay. Glad to. I actually had one, like I was like, oh, I need an overheard, and then I had one, and

then I took a cab here. Yeah. And this isn't exactly an overheard. And then I had one. And then I took a cab here. Yeah. And this isn't exactly an overheard. Well, no, it was. But I was like, it just really, it made me laugh in the car. So the cab was driving and, you know, everything was kind of normal. Like he was doing that thing where he's talking on his phone and then you kind of don't know if he's talking to you or talking on the phone right you

know he's like i mean he's very very slow as much you know i get in they tell the address and he and i like get computed but he's really nice he looks at me he's like oh okay sure drive and then at one point he must have got off his phone because we were driving and then what sounded like uh like a loud car horn sounded. Just like, wah! And he looked down at his phone and was just as surprised. It was his ring. It was a car horn?

His ring was like a screeching, like something is about to go wrong car horn. That seems like an odd choice. And he grabbed it and answered it. I don't know. If I was a cab driver, I mean, that's like... It's like when there's songs with sirens in them. Yeah, exactly.

And everybody looks around and they think that they're driving the ambulance, but they're not. Where am I taking this patient? Or like, I feel like now we're just, society is ready for a song that has like the, you've received a text message sound. Oh, yeah. In it. And everyone looks at their phone at the club. Yeah.

What is the text message? My phone's always on vibrate. So it just depends on what it's on. Yeah, there was a while when people, when they were making TV shows and movies, where they would have to come up with a ringtone for the person, but now they just go... There's a Foley guy who just goes... Yeah, he just holds the mic. He swallows a microphone, and it's just inside his throat. My upstairs neighbor keeps,

I must keep his phone on the floor. Yeah. That's the same. I hear it. And I'm like, is that me? The next 40 minutes of this podcast, just be us doing phone vibration.

It's actually, one of those sounds is actually your phone. Oh yeah. Ringing. Yeah. If you're listening to this on your phone at home ringing. Yeah. If you're listening to this on your phone, then you are dying. What's the noise where you send off a text? That's a nice one.

I always stupidly think of a paper airplane being thrown. Yeah. Isn't that what it's supposed to be? Well, because there's an image of a paper airplane on one of them. But that's way too much noise for paper airplanes. Yeah, I know. But when you throw a paper airplane, you go, you yourself make the noise. Yeah.

If you look out the left side of your plane, you can see the Hoover Dam. Why are we flying so low? You can see Death to America. I am Tom Brokaw. If you look out the left side and up, you can see the Hoover Dam. Dave, do you have an overheard? No. Oh, no.

But I did hear a funny story. And you were there when I heard it. This Sunday night, I was the special guest of the Sunday service. Really? Yeah, for like five minutes. Wow. Three minutes. Three minutes, in fact.

I did a song. I sang a song. I'm sorry, I missed it. From Ryan Beal's hilarious Weird Al Karaoke Show. Oh, yes. And in between the set, you go hang out with the guys. Yeah, yeah. And they say things.

And Aaron Reed, past guest Aaron Reid, was telling a story about apartment hunting. Yeah. And he just told a story about the worst place he saw. Oh, yeah. Where the guy, the guy showing him the apartment,

I believe, wasn't even the landlord, and just kept referring to the landlord as either Bobby or Bubby. Aaron couldn't tell. And there was the option when you move in, whether you have furniture or not, you could have this mattress. Oh, Jesus.

And he pointed out the mattress was, as you can tell, some pretty crazy sex stuff happens on this mattress. And he pulled back the sheet and there was a bloody hand print oh man yeah I'll take it yeah have you been sent to like

dissuade people from renting this thing is this some kind of money pit situation? I looked at a place and I asked the guy, it was like May, I guess, May or June. And I said, are there a lot of break-ins here? Because they're on the ground floor. And he said, no, not a lot.

And I was like, how many? And he said, only two this year. And I was like, that's a lot. Wow. We are not halfway through the year yet. Only two. Only twice a year would you lose everything you own. Yeah.

But they always leave this mattress with the bloody handprint. Saying you're next. For sex. A lot of crazy sex stuff has happened on this mattress. Oh, man. Foxy Noxy What does that mean? She was that American student

Who had sex and killed someone in Italy What? Foxy Noxy? Oh Right, okay Yeah, Amanda Knox That sounds like an Australian nickname Nickname, yeah

But what else are you going to call Amanda Knox? Let's see. Fort Knox. That doesn't make sense. Keep in mind, she's foxy. Oh, yeah, that's true. Hot Samantha. Amanda.

Yeah, either way, man, she's hot. Graham, your turn. My overheard was I was in a car Drinking a toe I was drinking out of a toe I was driving past a guy And what are the things on Star Trek That they talk into?

Oh, phasers Picard He was holding his phone like a Chewbacca He was holding his phone like a Chewbacca. Let's say a communicator? Yeah. But we were driving past him and he was screaming into it, Scotty!

Scotty! So that was pretty good. Oh yeah. I'm sure his friend was just named Scotty. Yeah. Or he was talking to a box of tissues. Or he was describing the dog he just lost. Oh, yeah, totally. Yeah, that makes the most sense.

Come back, Scotty. I gave you a phone for a reason, dog. Today I was walking past, there was like this, I guess it's like an auto repair place. Yeah. But they have three dogs there, and it was a really hot day and there were just like one dog lying there like a dead dog. Yeah. Like a big mastiff.

And then this husky that looked like it was basically a wolf just like wandering off leash. And plus it was like an auto repair place. So they had just barrels out. It looked like a post-apocryphal. Let me get this for you. Let me get this for you apocryphal something bad happened world yeah post-apocalyptic that's the guy it was uh well you know it was good it was a good moment a little nice little tabloid auto repair shop with barrels and dogs yeah i mean that's basically the set of any. It's like, that's mad. I mean, you just need to like have a fire coming out of the barrel.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, isn't that a waste of fuel in the post-apocalyptic world? Well, they're not barrels of fuel. They're just, you know. They're sand burning sand. Oh, yeah.

Making glass. What this world needs is more glass. Now, we also have overheards that are sent in by listeners. If you want to send one in to us, it is spy at maximumfund.org. This first one comes from John from Chicago. Okay. He's at the zoo, but this has nothing to do with the zoo. This isn't a food court at the zoo.

An exchange between a mom and her four-year-old. The kid is asking, can we watch it again mom maybe later but not now kid i want to watch it again mom you've already watched it twice today twice isn't enough i want to watch the hulk again can't we just give it a rest with the hulk already after she saw us giggling, I asked which Hulk movie. She said, the shitty one. Which one's that one? Oh, boy.

I hope it's not the Angley one because I actually like that one. Did you like the Angley one? Yeah. With Eric Bana? Yeah, I like that one. That was the one that had the Frankenstein dogs.

All right, all right, all right. With Nick Nolte? Oh, yeah. Nick Nolte had firepower. I like Nick Nolte's weird Nick Nolte had firepower I like Nick Nolte's weird like he was like I'm made out of

the things I'm made out of now like it was really weird like it didn't make any sense

I liked it my favorite part of that was that the the band Velvet Revolver had a song

on the soundtrack which was all the guys from Guns N' Roses but with Scott Weiland as the lead singer and then Ang Lee

said it was his favorite band. My favorite band Velvet Revolver. Okay. What's the who's the lead singer what's he from?

Stone Temple Pilot. Oh. Alright. And he did here here he did a show recently Who's the lead singer? What's he from? Stone Temple Pilot. Oh. All right. And he did. Here, here. He did a show recently. Recently where he lost all his mind. Whoa.

What? Well, he sang. What was their song? Vaseline? Gas-o-Vaseline. Gas-o-Vaseline. From the post-apocalyptic world. The most sought after gel slash fuel.

Yeah. Vas-o-Gas-o-Vaseline. It's used as a sex lubricant for fire sex. The most sought after gel slash fuel. Yeah. Basal gasoline. It's used as a sex lubricant for fire sex. But anyways, he was... He sounded terrible. But not that bad. He wasn't as bad as the... Headlines would be.

Down, down worthy. You know, whatever it was that... Yeah. You won't believe how bad it sounded. Does Upworthy still exist? I haven't seen an Upworthy in years. In a year, which is years in internet time. That's true.

I think they burned out on the hyperbole. What it is, bro, is they got all their links from Facebook and then Facebook changed their whatever like every six months or four months facebook changes how it does business and if all your links are coming from facebook you can't now facebook's all like buzzfeed right and occasionally or something from reddit will show up on facebook yeah i don't know i don't not understand how what pops up in my feed pops up in my feed. Because I will get stuff from somebody that I met once six years ago. I'll be like, engagement. And I'm like, I don't even.

What? And you got engaged to this person? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We hit it off. And then six years later, I was like, I'm not going to find anybody better than that person that I met that one time. And then Upworthy's like, you'll never guess how this couple got together. Yeah, yeah. The answer will shock you.

Will shock you, will inspire you. Will skank you. This next one comes from Liam. Well, Liam, not Lian. Liam from Auckland, New Zealand. This overseen, I was at a shopping center, sitting on a seat when a guy

who looked in his early 40s in a smart shirt and pants. So this is no vagrant, uh, sat down, uh, one bench over. He unfolded a large piece of cardboard and got out a small pot of black paint and a paint brush and starts writing on the cardboard in big letters. When he had finished, I saw that the sign said, I'm sorry. He then folded up the cardboard and walked away. I'm sorry. Do you forgive me?

I made you a sign. I hope the paint was dry when he folded it. It's going to read, it's going to say, I'm suing. What about the Edward Norton Hulk? Remember that one Yeah yeah Which is the one Which is the Hulk

That history forgot Both Well The thing about The Edward Norton Hulk Is he puts He made a cab

Into a boxing glove Oh right And That was the part of the movie That everybody's like Yep And Omar from The Wire Is in it for one shot

Is that right Yeah he's like in a reaction shot to them fighting in the street. So has it only been three Hulks? I mean, well, with, I mean, with. The Avengers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But what's his name?

Who did the original? Oh, Lou Ferrigno? Well, yes. And then the guy who played Dr. David Banner. Dr. Devo. Dr. Bruce Banner. Yeah. Was named Bill Bixby.

Bill Bixby, yeah. That took me forever to remember that. He's noville. Dr. Bruce Banner. Yeah. Was named Bill Bixby. Bill Bixby, yeah. That took me forever to remember that. He's no longer with us. Yes, yes. And then it was Eric Banner, and then it was. Edward Norton. Edward Norton, and then Mark Ruffalo. And now it's Mark Ruffalo.

But they say they're not going to make another Hulk movie. Oh, no, please do. No, they will. Don't worry, they will. They said they're not going to, but then, yeah, just get nerds to go like, but why? And they're like, no, we will. Don't worry, they will. They said they're not gonna, but then, yeah, just get nerds to go like, but why? And they're like,

no, we will. Don't make fun of nerd stuff on the show, guys. There's no room for other movies now because all the superheroes can make movies now.

Yeah. Well, the Hulk wants, what he really wants to do is direct. Yeah. Yeah, well,

and smash. Old smash cut. And boom. Well, let really wants to do is direct. Yeah. Yeah, well, and smash. Hulk smash cut. And boom. Well, let's just fold up the podcast. All in a night. Hulk smash cut. Pretty good, Dan. Yeah.

This last one comes from Emily B. from Cincinnati. Oh, congratulations on your marriage to John Krasinski. There was a Japanese man at a snack bar. This is, Shio works at a hospital. So this is in a waiting room. Japanese man at the snack bar holding a bag of Swedish fish. It was like a chewy gummy fish. Real international.

And looking kind of confused, this lady said to him those swedish fish are good i think there was a language barrier because he said sweet ass fish uh and then they went back and forth he kept repeating sweet ass fish and she kept saying swedish fish uh she continued to get frustrated gave up and finally just said yes yeah yeah you they're sweet-ass fish. Yeah, yeah, you're welcome. I know what I'm calling Swedish fish from now on. Yeah. Yeah. I don't, I wouldn't have known them to be called Swedish fish. I would have just called them gummy fish.

And Swedish berries. Swedish berries, for sure. I've never heard of Swedish berries. Those gummy berries. I think that Maynard's is a Canadian outfit. Sure. Yeah. Started in the Yukon during the gummy rush.

When I, uh, the times I've been to Sweden, plenty of gummy. They're a gummy culture. They love their candy. Yeah. And they, uh, yeah. There's a, I was, when I was in Sweden recently, there was a, uh, a candy bar called. Plop? Sport lunch.

Oh. And, uh, it is a candy bar. Yeah.op. And it is a candy bar. Yeah, yeah. It's nothing more than a candy bar. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's not a real sport lunch. What is a sport lunch?

Sport lunch. Oh, it's Gatorade for the beverage. Sure. Steroids. Yeah, some sort of steroids. A little goo. And then a congratulations cake. Yeah.

Like a cake that says, great game. Yeah. It's champagne out of a trophy. Yeah, it's just heated Gatorade. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Gatorade soup. In a thermos.

Now, in addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you would like to call us, our phone number is the following numbers in the following sequence. Oh, yes. 206-339-8328. Like these people here. We can't stress the sequence enough. A lot of people have just been mashing those numbers into their phone. Frustrated. I know what

the numbers are. What does it matter what order they go in? Yeah, yeah. That phone will figure it out. Apparently, there's a thing that, uh, like we have an app on like our baby's mind development and like there's different stages she goes through that are like, she's learning, um, to categorize things.

Sure. She's learning relationships between things and then one, she's not even there yet, but at some point she will learn how to sequence. Oh. What does that mean? Sequencing. Just knowing, you know, like how to make a funky beat. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Do you think Daft Punk learned it earlier than the rest of us? Yeah, the French are very, very advanced. Yeah. All right. Here's phone calls. Hey, this is Graham and Maisie Guest. This is Krista from Los Angeles. I'm calling with an overheard.

I was at my grandparents' church in the middle of Missouri. Made a children's moment, and that's like where little kids go up and ask questions or whatever. That's like where little kids go up and ask questions or whatever. And one of the kids said, did God kill Jesus or did Jesus kill God? It was a draw. Next question. They died at the same time. That is like, that's a universal.

Yeah, that's a philosophy. Yeah, that's a philosophy. Yeah, it's a, if I answer this, yeah. From the mouths of babes. Or from the babes of mouths. That church closes down because the guy fumbles the answer so much. Jesus. Oh, boy, I really got to get this right, don't I? Don't forget Lucifer. He wasn't there.

I don't know. Did you try the communion? Yeah but people have free will right? Ah Oh no I mean God is like a Construct Oh

Construct No No No It's an invention No No Before God

You drive by the next week It's a pizza hut There used to be a church here Shut week it's a pizza hut and there used to be church shut up it's a pizza hut now yeah our town finally got one we're on wing street from here on out all right your next phone call hey david graham this is Tess gone from Chicago. I haven't overheard for you. I was just on a bus and behind me, there were two women talking about work and whatnot. And one of them was talking about how, what it felt like to be back at work after having been on

maternity leave. And she had a pretty thick Midwest accent and the other person wasn't really paying attention. And so she said, yeah, you know, it feels pretty good to be back in the Seattle again. And the woman who wasn't really paying attention just goes, oh, I love Seattle. Oh, I love that so much. And they're not in Seattle. Feels good to be back in Seattle.

I bet, yeah. Go Mariners. I love Jay Buhner. They have a soccer team. Yeah. The Sounders. Oh, man. I mean. Yeah, have a fish thrown at you anything you want

it's good to be back on cialis again oh yeah you gotta get drilled here's your uh final phone call overheard of 2015 oh no hey dave graham and possible guest this is devon in los angeles calling with an overheard of 2015. Oh, no. Hey, Dave, Graham, and possible guest. This is Devin in Los Angeles calling with an overheard. I do Lyft driving sometimes, and the other night I picked up a slightly drunk couple at a Maroon 5 concert, and they really, really wanted me to play this new song of theirs in my car. So I put it on, and it turns out to be a cover of sex and candy

and the girl in the couple just keeps gushing about how great it is this new song of theirs and then suddenly her boyfriend interrupts her and says uh you know it's a nirvana song right okay bye it's good to be back in se again, home of Nirvana, and their hit single, Sex and Candy. It was written by a group that I think only had that song. Marcy Playground? Marcy Playground, yeah, yeah. They had other songs. No, no, no, of course, of course.

They had many others. Not many others. But also the idea of like, oh love that maroon five concert let's listen to more yeah yeah we didn't get enough can you uh is has there ever been a case where you've heard a song and uh you thought that was an original and then you found oh yeah yeah it was a cover oh yeah well things like tainted love was like a 60s northern soul hit. What? Yeah.

Oh, I had no idea. Oh, well, then I'm. Yeah, well, that's fine then. I'm the guy who likes maroon. I'm the woman who likes maroon. Fine. Yeah. Or, but like it was an obscure.

Right. Right. But like, you know, I Will Always Love You by Whitney Houston was. Dolly Parton. Dolly Parton. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. From the best little whorehouse in Texas.

Mm-hmm. Wow. Yeah. There you go. A movie which, you should rent it because it's non-stop fucking. And then lay it home.

Yeah. Just during the closing credits. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That would be great if every porn movie had a great closing credits sequence. And they had to get until so many of them

were nominated for Oscars. Best soundtrack unfortunately goes to Penetrato. Penetrato 14. Featuring the colors of the wind from Bugahundas. It gets nominated for a

i may have missed the uh conceit of this whole thing but oh great doesn't make me a bad person um oh do you think the next avengers will feature penetrato yeah yeah well it's in the uh but after the credit sequence oh wait till the end yeah and then it comes out three seconds of hardcore sex stick around for after the credit that's the only way i would yeah yeah something crazy happens after the credit penetrato samuel L. Jackson's ordering them around. But every time with those after the credits things, I'm always like, I don't know what that is.

Yeah, absolutely. Unless it's a funny joke in a Naked Gun movie, I don't get your weird reference. Yeah. Now, is that just a ploy to make us like see who the key grip was like why why did they just like why no it's for people who know what the avengers are like i mean after the credits like because like that's that thing like doing the after the credit scene like it's fun it's like an easter egg right yeah yeah can't wait for this but now they become like like they all kind

of have them the rigor rigueur. Yeah. That brings us to the end of this podcast. Stick around after the credits, though, because there's a great penetrato. He's going to be on the next podcast. Oh, boy. You think we can get him? Oh, yeah. After he won that Oscar for his song, Colors of the Wind from Pocahontas. Do you have anything to plug coming up in June?

We've got listeners all over the world. Oh, yeah, absolutely. Well, let's see. We'll be in the Pajama Men. We'll be in Dublin in July. Oh, July. Oh, man. Yeah, so look out for that.

And then, yeah, and then the next big thing, of course, is Edinburgh. Be in Edinburgh and then London. So that's that. London, Edinburgh, London. No, Dublin, Edinburgh, London. Oh, sorry, yeah, Dublin. Yeah, yeah. Home of that guy's band.

Yeah, Gleeson. Yeah. Dave, anything we got to mention? We will be in Edmonton. Oh, yeah. In Providence. On the 25th. Yeah, the Thursday night.

So that's a week and a half away. Yeah, guest TBA. TBD. And A. Oh, yeah. Yeah, TMA. Yeah. Benadredo.

Yeah, and following that, I'll be in Winnipeg for the Fringe Festival in Toronto for their Fringe Festival. Montreal. And then Montreal for their Comedy Festival. And then Edinburgh. Oh, boy. Oh, yeah, and you can hear Graham and myself. We have a segment on the new Slack Variety Pack podcast. Sounds so good.

Did you edit all that stuff? Yeah, I've edited some of the stuff on it. Sounds real good. I'm on more episodes of it than the both of us. Uh, but yeah, listen to that. What else are you doing on it? What are the other things that you're doing? I don't know what's out at this point.

Um, but, uh, yeah, stuff. I'm probably, my voice is probably in every episode. Cool. And, uh, but mostly I'm known as a, uh, voiceman. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You could sell me anything. Razors to that soundtrack from that porno movie. If you like the podcast, head over to MaximumFun.org.

Check out all the blog recap, pictures and videos relating to the content of this podcast. Well, we're going to have to get the picture of your teaser screen. Yeah, and we'll put all of our Pajama Man stuff, just everything. We'll put our whole website on your website. Yeah, that sounds good. Oh, I don't think that's what we're going to do.

That shot of Omar in the Hulk movie? Exactly, that's what I'm talking about. Something like that. Our favorite post-credit scenes. That toe? Well, maybe a picture of that toe. Something like that. Our favorite post-credit scenes. I don't know. That toe. Well, maybe a picture of that toe.

Yeah, a picture of that gross toe. And the captain who keeps it. Aye, aye, and goodbye. And if you like the show, do tell your friends. And come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. podcast to yourself.