Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 379 - Sophie Buddle
Episode Date: June 22, 2015Sophie Buddle returns to talk Facebook mistakes, baby babble, and obscure wrestlers....
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Hi everybody.
Uh, we have some bad news.
Um, our friend Pat Plaszek, who we were, uh, we did that benefit show for, uh, passed away this week.
And, um, we're, we're very sad over here.
Yeah.
Um, that was.
30, 35?
34.
34.
Um, and I've known him for about 30 years and, uh, wow.
That's a long time.
Yeah.
Um, one of the best friends I've ever had.
And I think a lot of people felt that way about him.
Um, and I just wanted to thank everyone who, uh, sent messages who knew about this.
who, uh, sent messages who knew about this.
Um, and, uh, thanks to everyone who came to our benefit show and supported the cause and donated,
uh, to his treatment.
In the end, he was never well enough to get the
treatment.
That's right.
Um, but, uh, the, I know he was moved by your
support and by all these strangers he never met that, that, that, um, were, uh, were, were helping him out.
Um, and it makes me happy to know that he, uh, knew how many people cared about him.
Um, and, uh, we just wanted to put this message here because it's happened.
It happened this week.
this message here because it's happened.
It happened this week.
Uh, but, uh, I guess we, we have to now transition to a show.
Uh, yeah, yeah.
Um, uh, and we're pre-taping a whole bunch of episodes. So, uh, uh, I think the next five or six episodes have all ready been recorded
before Pat passed away.
Uh, so it might just seem weird if so much time passes before we mentioned it.
So,
um,
we put this here and,
rather than,
uh,
jumping from this,
uh,
somber start to a show into,
it's still a comedy show.
Yeah.
Um,
I mean,
debatable,
but right.
That's the intention. Yeah intention yeah um we thought uh uh
to change gears uh i'm gonna put a song here uh pat and i played in a band together called the
screaming eagles and uh actually when this podcast started i think the first episode maybe the first two episodes uh with the theme song was a song
that we had recorded in our band and so i'm gonna put that song here uh from the year 2005
the screaming eagles do do do do do Thank you. We'll be right back. Thank you. Thank you. Hi, he's Dave Shumka.
And he's Graham Clark.
And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself.
Woo!
Woo!
Hello, everybody, and welcome to episode number 379 of Stop Podcasting Yourself.
My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who goes downstairs and loner and
pears and makes a shumka-y sound.
Mr. Dave Shumka.
I thought of that one earlier today.
Yeah?
And you've been itching to use it.
Oh yeah, it's great.
Everyone knows it's shumka now graham was in the early days of this podcast it used to be a real
bro fest yeah yeah yeah we used to pop a collar uh-huh we would uh yeah we'd play we do men things
yeah we play video games yeah we would play would play pool. We would MMA fight.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, we would frame our sports jerseys.
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
We'd have neon beer label signs in our man cave.
Yeah, we would have man caves.
We would have jalapeno poppers ready to go.
Oh, boy, would we ever have a jalapeno popper.
We would complain about our wives.
Oh, God, yeah.
And then we would go on a bro's weekend to Vegas.
Uh-huh, and then... Call each other money. Yeah. Yeah. We'd be homophobic. Yeah, Oh, God, yeah. And then we would go on a bros weekend to Vegas. Uh-huh, and then... Call each other money.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We'd be homophobic.
Yeah, oh, yeah, yeah.
We would, yeah, we would drive by gay bars and yell at people.
Yeah, yeah, and burn crosses.
Yeah, yeah, we wore Crocs and flip-flops, depending on the season.
We had, like, a hate newsletter.
Yeah, yeah. Depending on the season. We had a hate newsletter. Yeah.
We had crates of Guy Fieri.
I was going to call him Don Fieri.
Don Fieri from Mad Men.
Don Fieri.
Don Fieri's donkey sauce.
This was the early days of the show. It was a real estrogen fest.
Yeah, yeah.
But the men version.
And one thing we used to do is we would drink a beer yeah and we would tell you about the beer yeah and you usually i would try to find
an interesting like kind of a weird but we like not that we knew anything about beer or anything
but then today i saw the uh the local steamworks brewery has killer cucumber ale. So I bought it and we're going to take our
sips together. Here we go.
Refreshing.
Oh yeah!
Takes a second but then you're like yup.
Oh yeah.
It's like if you go to like a Lebanese
restaurant and instead of lemon in the water they put
cucumber. Yeah I think this is going to count towards my vegetable count for the year.
You want to take a sip?
No.
No, I'm okay.
That's our guest, a returning guest to the podcast.
Very funny.
Former youngest guest ever on the podcast.
No longer.
Now the oldest guest on the podcast.
How did that happen?
Yeah.
Damn you, gypsies curse.
Older.
Miss Sophie
Buttle is our guest. Hello.
Hi, Sophie Buttle.
Welcome. Thank you. Welcome back, I should say.
Oh, yes, you should.
Do you want to get to know us?
I do.
Get to know us.
Yeah, so you're not drinking it, you're just drinking some plain water.
Yeah, water straight up.
Fair enough.
Yeah, that's what the youngest, second youngest guests ever have to do now.
Yeah.
Strict drinking laws in the basement of the Shumka residence.
Uh-huh.
It's, Dave got a special permit to apply his own drinking age.
Well, every time we do the podcast graham and i have to
put on wristbands and then we id that's why you have to sit on that side of the table because
over on this side is licensed though yeah um have you um you've done you did stand up when you were
very young right Yeah Were there any
Like weird laws
You had to follow
To be in bars
You would think so
But I lied about my age
So they did not apply to me
Ah
So
Yeah
Just lie about your age
Yeah
Any kids listening
The key is confidence
Yeah
Or just be on the show
Yeah
Yeah
And yeah
Well
Yeah exactly
If you're on the show They just assume All the And yeah, well, yeah, exactly.
If you're on the show,
they just assume
all the assumptions
kind of build up.
The doorman is like,
oh, then someone
must have vouched for you.
Nope.
Yeah.
It's like that guy
who bought that hockey team
that everybody was like,
well, somebody must have
done the checking on this.
And he was 15 as well?
Yeah, he was a 15-year-old.
Well, he inherited it.
Yeah.
From his grandpa.
He just had to spend one night in a haunted
stadium?
So,
now it's been almost a year since we had you
on. Yeah. You've been
traveling around. You've been doing stand-up of all sorts.
You got a new
roommate. Fine Noodle.
Yeah, her friend is well, you explain it. What did you say, Fine Noodle. Yeah, as, uh, her friend is, uh, well, you explain it.
What did you say?
Fine Noodle?
It's her name.
That's her nickname.
It's not really Fine Noodle, is it?
Her name.
It's her name.
Well, uh, it started as just Noodle, and then Graham actually made it Fine Noodle.
Yeah, because, well, because she, she that she was Named Noodle because
Because her body is noodley
No but then she said
But also I like noodles
Also she likes noodles
And then I was like
What kind of noodles do you like
And then she said
Fine noodles I like
That should be your nickname then
Fine noodles
So okay
What are fine noodles
Like an angel hair
Yes exactly an angel hair
I think that might have been
Or a vermicelli
Vermicelli is what our household usually.
Oh, we also live together.
Yes.
Yeah, we know.
Oh, I thought you just said friend.
I thought you just said friend.
I'm not great with the listening.
But like, what about her body is noodley?
And I know nothing about this woman.
I've never seen her before.
I'm very attracted to the idea of a noodley.
She's a gorgeous girl.
She has noodley arms.
But like ravioli?
Like bow ties.
Yeah, she's got bow tie arms.
Oh, that would be weird.
She's like kind of tall and lanky and white.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, kind of like a noodle.
Oh, okay. Not yellow. Or, yeah, kind of like a noodle. Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Not yellow.
They're soft.
No.
Like a pasta noodle.
She really softens up when you put her in boiling water.
Is she al dente?
Yeah, she's great with a little bit of salt.
You really want the water to be very salty.
You want it to taste like the sea.
I'm not joking.
That's actually how you're supposed to do it.
Yeah, that is how you're supposed to do it.
I watched a guy.
I would never joke about that.
I watched a guy make like fresh,
I've never seen that before.
Somebody made fresh pasta
and throw it right in the water.
Yeah.
And he took it for like a second.
Yeah.
Mmm, yum.
Sounds really good.
All really short
cooking times.
I don't know.
Like all my life
I've only eaten dry pasta
reanimated by water.
I want a soft pasta
that's just been thrown in.
Sometimes at Whole Foods
you can get the,
well,
someone at Whole Foods
made it.
Oh, yeah, yeah. That's good enough. Yeah, and it's still got yeah and it's still got flour on it yeah guys yeah yeah that's all you need I guess I
don't know I've never had it oh I just go to Whole Foods to breathe on the window but you seem like
somebody who would make uh do an attempt at making your own pasta it's pasta oh yeah thank you um
no I do like to cook
But there are some things
That I'm just like
Well why
It's so
This thing is so easy
And it counts as cooking
Like it's not like
I microwaved a pasta
No that's true
Our American listeners
Are eating their hats
Yeah they hate the way
We pronounce pasta
They're eating their Stetsons
How do we say it
We say pasta
Like pass
But they say pasta.
Oh, well, I guess no one's going to pass any pasta to them.
Exactly.
Yeah, right?
Yeah.
But how can they?
They can't have a restaurant called Hasta B Pasta.
Hasta B, Hasta La Pasta.
American dream, my ass.
Yeah.
So, yeah, what's been going on the last year?
Since we last visited.
Yeah, what are the 365 things that happened to you?
I went grocery shopping.
Okay.
I'm single for the first time.
Ever?
Yeah.
Yeah, she was a child bride.
Single for the first time as an adult.
As an adult, yes.
And is it the best?
Is it the worst?
Is it in the middle somewhere?
It's the best, but I embarrass myself all over town, which makes it.
How doing what?
Oh, just like drooling.
You don't have to be single to do that.
Oh, I do.
No, just like, you know when you open your mouth
because you're smiling at someone and a lot of drool
comes out? I do that a lot.
No, I don't know that.
Oh, that's my move.
So, wait, you're staring at somebody
that you like and then you smile
and drool comes out of your mouth?
Well, yeah, it only happened once.
Yeah,
are you in a high school
and are there somewhere,
are you somewhere
where desks are set up
and you look over?
No,
I bring my desk from home.
And like,
have you been,
you've been going on dates?
Been going on dates.
Are men,
do men find you noodley enough?
Not,
not hard noodle. Like, men prefer harder noodles, I believe. Okay. on dates. Do men find you noodley enough? Not hard
noodle. Men prefer
harder noodles, I believe.
What kind of noodle are you?
I'm not going to say what men like.
What type of noodle, if you had to pick, and you do?
Macaroni.
Macaroni? Especially this part.
The elbow.
No doubt. All the joints.
In general, it's fun to be a single lady in the city.
I got a little or a lot day drunk with my friend a couple weeks ago.
And there was this guy, I used to work at Starbucks.
And there was a guy that was cute.
He would come in sometimes.
Yeah.
And he added me on Facebook out of nowhere.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
That's bold.
Yeah, it was pretty bold.
And we were looking through his profile photos, and we got pretty far back.
Yeah.
How far back?
Real far.
Real far back.
World War II.
This is us going over the top.
Well, we got pretty far back.
And we found a photo of him and his ex-girlfriend.
And I should add that I don't have the Facebook app on my phone because there's not enough memory.
So it's just in Safari.
Okay, sure.
But what happens, the reason this is relevant is because it makes it too easy to tag people in photos.
If it detects that there's a face,
it'll give you the option to tag really easily.
Oh.
So we got to his ex-girlfriend,
and I tagged myself as his ex-girlfriend.
That's a real power move.
And then we couldn't figure out how to undo it,
so I had to block and delete him.
Goodbye forever.
real power move.
No, and then we couldn't figure out
how to undo it,
so I had to block
and delete them
by forever.
What's the emoji
for drool?
What were you
trying to tell me
by tagging yourself
as my ex-girlfriend?
Oh, that's weird.
Oh, wow.
Complicated.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm a complicated girl.
I have found on Twitter that you can,
my thumbs are now in the place that will accidentally follow someone.
Oh, I've done that.
And then I'll get it.
But interestingly, not me.
Well, no.
Because it has to be, it's usually going through,
hey, who liked my tweet?
Oh, I accidentally followed it.
Oh, I don't even notice.
And then I'll get an email similar to Jeff.
Hey, you might be interested in these people.
Why?
Yeah.
It's been a while since I've done like any kind of call on uh facebook or well
facebook i don't care about i don't see anybody's stuff i just don't follow if somebody's posting
annoying things but on uh twitter i haven't like gone through who i'm following and saying like
how are how are this year's tweets You know, do like a performance evaluation at the end of every year. Or someone that I hate
following.
Like, oh no, this
person is prospering
too much.
Like, they don't get
that I'm sarcastically
following them.
Yeah.
And they just keep
releasing movies.
Who do you, is there
anybody?
Frank D'Angelo.
Canadian.
I follow Donald Trump and a lot of his.
Oh, have you told that story on the podcast?
The Donald Trump tweeting story?
I think so.
I think you did.
Yeah, where I told, where I said, hey, I think, maybe it's just me, but I think Donald Trump's really nice.
Then he retweeted it.
And so many people wrote back to me saying no no i have evidence to the contrary
um but yeah he just retweets uh all day and night like he'll retweet at four in the morning so
there's like somebody's working on his account or whatever and it's just uh all these people
asking him to run for president which is uh not a thing that he's ever going to do. No. I mean, it would be the best. Yeah.
If he won.
Oh, it would be the best and funniest.
Because he's got no plans for fixing the country.
Yeah.
But they're all like, we assume you can.
If you can build a building, surely you can run a country.
Anyways.
Buildings are the countries of the city.
That's his campaign slogan Yeah
Yeah
Do you hate follow anybody on Twitter?
You
Ouch
I had that
I really set myself up for that
No I don't
I think I don't think I follow anybody ironically
You should
You gotta give it a whirl
Okay I will.
Pick like a, it's just like an outspoken idiot.
Yeah.
Someone who's got a lot of opinions and is wrong all the time.
I got to retweet something last night that, I don't know why.
Did you say you got to retweet something last night?
Yeah, yeah.
You had the privilege?
I had the privilege.
I was allowed to man my own Twitter account.
Oh, you got promoted.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Usually it's your street team.
Yeah.
And I retweeted something by Chad Lowe.
Wasn't he an actor?
Yeah, he was married to...
Was he the one who was married to...
A Million Dollar Baby? Oh, yeah. That sounds right. Yeah, he was married to, was he the one who was married to a million dollar baby?
Oh, yeah, that sounds right.
Yeah, he was married to Clint Eastwood.
That was very controversial that they were married before it was legal in the States.
No, what's her name?
Heather.
Why don't I just say it?
Funkface.
Heather.
May not have been it. Josephine. She was the new karate kid. Funk face. Heather. Yeah, may not have been it.
Josephine.
She was the new karate kid.
Randall.
Heidi.
No,
you're young.
The only karate kid you know is Jaden Smith.
There's so much more than just that.
So anyway,
she won an Oscar and thanked everyone but him.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Even though they were married?
Yeah.
Woof.
Not on purpose.
No, no, but still.
Yeah.
You know, write it on your hand.
You know, wear something on your hand.
A wedding ring, something to remind you.
That's why my wedding ring is red elastic.
It's supposed to be a red string.
Darn it. But it was so good. But you like to be a red string. Darn it.
But it was so good.
But you like to get your fingertips purple.
Yeah.
I did like that a lot.
So, single in the city,
brand new roommate.
Yeah.
Working at... Hillary Swank.
Hillary Swank.
There we go.
Not Heather anything.
You were working at a juice place.
I don't know if that's still a going concern.
Still there. What juice place? It's called Just Juice. Okay. Just Heather anything. You were working at a juice place. I don't know if that's still a going concern. Still there.
What juice place?
It's called Just Juice.
Okay.
Just called juice.
Okay.
I waited in line for juice today.
And?
Not worth it.
Like the juice wasn't worth it or just the wait?
Like it was just like nonsense.
I don't want to get into it.
We're talking about your juice. Yeah. Just Juice. do you do at just juice you're the juicer i just
are you friend of friend of house everybody does does everything okay yeah my boss got annoyed with
me today because before i came here i had to drop off my key for the closer okay and i went in and
i made a smoothie and i took it and i was leaving and my boss was like, oh, are you going to pay for that?
I was like, no, bye.
And then I left.
And I got a pretty angry text from him.
Are you supposed to pay
for smoothies?
If you're not working.
Oh, come on.
Yeah, come on.
You had to come by
to drop off the key
for Curious Edgewick,
the closer.
Okay, here's my juice. No, do you remember that time i did a juice cleanse yeah yeah oh
how much did you poo a lot no no let's not i didn't i didn't make it through the first day
i was starving there was not enough stuff in the juice yeah it was like i should have put little
corn pops in it yeah yeah But little hamburgers.
Hamburger chunks.
Yeah, this is carrot juice, but it's got boiled hamburger in it.
And I think the problem was all the juices that they gave me were like celery juice and celery light.
Yeah, friends of celery.
It was not, it wasn't anything. It was not tasty. celery light. Yeah, friends of celery.
It was not, it wasn't anything.
It was not tasty and it was hard to drink and it didn't fill me up at all. And by the end of the day, I was like, I would have done better just starving myself.
Just not eating for the whole day.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And, but the juice place, they have a location right by my office.
Yeah.
So I went the other day and they had this delicious like strawberry and lemon juice.
Yeah.
And I was like, oh, that was great.
I will gladly pay $8 for a bottle of that.
Don't tell my grandparents.
They don't know what money is worth.
And then, uh, today I got one that was like they didn't have
the good one so i had to get like a turmeric oh no turmeric and celery um now what's uh what's
the number one like most popular juice the the green thumb the green thumb what's that kale
it has kale kale celery um cucumber celery, cucumber, coconut water.
Is it a thick or is it juicy or is it smoothie?
It's juicy.
We also have a smoothie.
And I keep telling my boss we should change the title to not just juice.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's getting really frustrated.
Seems like you can find a way to get under his skin every day.
He's really tired of my hair.
Whether it's by stealing from them or mocking the name of the business.
Speaking out of turn.
Oh, I do not know my place at all.
But everyone does everything, so.
Yeah.
Sometimes you're the manager.
Yeah, sometimes I think I'm the boss.
It's confusing.
And he makes you really mad.
Yeah, you text him.
Now, is it one of these cold press juice places?
It is cold press.
Yeah, yeah.
See, because I just learned that.
That's the only thing they have for juices.
But isn't blender, isn't that a choice for juice?
But they do smoothies.
Oh.
So that's what, if you blend it, it's smoothie.
I don't want to explain it because it's so boring.
No, no, not to me.
I'm fascinated.
But like there's no, they don't do hot press juices.
Well, the difference.
Maybe a factory would.
The reason it's cold pressed is because the juicer doesn't make any heat.
So it keeps the enzymes alive in the fruit for longer.
But for the ones where they juice it as you order it, there's a lot of heat.
So you get less nutrients unless you drink it right away.
Ah, there you go.
So if I get the pre-made stuff, that's where it's at in terms of living things?
No, the stuff I get on the...
Just get Sunny Delight.
Yeah, just Minute Maid is just as good.
It doesn't matter.
I do feel like there's...
Is there any difference between Minute Maid and this $8 juice?
Probably, yeah.
In a blind taste test, though, nobody would know.
Well, no, they'd be like, this Minute Maid is delicious, is what they'd say.
They'd say the one on the right is on the right.
When I went to Palm Springs a few months ago, there was a juicer in the place.
And the lady in charge of it was like, someone pointed out the juicer.
And the lady was like, oh, I'll bring over a bunch of oranges.
And we had fresh squeezed orange juice
and it was the greatest.
Like, you get, they sell fresh squeezed orange juice.
It's not as good as actual.
No, I would.
I'd get fresh, but I'm not rich.
You know what I mean?
I gotta get old squeezed.
I look on the label
when was this squeezed
is this cold pressed or is it caliente
yeah this was
pressed with an iron
we used a hot iron to
squeeze it it ruined my shirt
contains no enzymes
alright I'm interested
I had a
every morning I drink kefir what's that
it's like a yogurt drink i drink a yogurt drink isn't it it's i drink a whiskey drink
it's pronounced is it kefir is how it's pronounced it's got an accent a goo on the heifer
sutherland sure yeah um yeah i'm sure it's kefir. Fine. Whatever.
And on the side of the bottle, it says, this contains one million bacteria.
Bleh!
Throw it out! Which is like, that's the one, like, speaking of don't tell my grandparents.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like, okay, why can't you just lick a kitchen counter then?
Exactly.
You know what I mean?
Because they always say, oh, there's so much bacteria on a telephone or something.
Just lick your phone.
Yeah.
Or a penny.
Yeah.
Oh, thank you.
Yeah, just suck on a penny.
I feel like we're being duped, you know?
There's bacteria everywhere.
Yeah.
And tons of drops to drink.
So we don't need to worry about paying $8 for no juice.
Is that how much juice goes for? Oh, yeah. Do people who about paying $8 for no juice. Is that how much juice goes for?
Oh, yeah.
Do people who are paying $8 for juice tip?
Sometimes.
Well, is it, I wonder if there are two juice places side by side.
I bet people would go to the more expensive one just because it was more expensive.
Just because that's what juice people do.
Oh, yeah. Like if there was, yeah. yeah oh i'm going to the nine dollar juice place
not me i'm going to the place where that guy doesn't even wear his shoes
because they're filled with juice yeah i mash it with my feet it's the most natural juice in town
yeah oh yes there's more bacteria in my juice than anywhere else.
You can compare
my juice to my toilet.
So,
so working,
single lady in the city,
new roommate.
Yeah.
Anything else?
What else is shaking?
I went on the road
with Dino,
past guest Dino Archie.
Ah, yes.
Yeah.
How was that?
It was good.
We were calling it the struggle tour because.
Because he knows what that means.
Seems like a word he would use.
Yeah.
Yeah, he loves using the word struggle.
Yeah.
And was it good?
It was fun?
It was good.
It was not fun.
Why?
Tell us.
Where did you go?
We did just BC. So we went to Quesnel. Why? Tell us. Where did you go? We did just BC.
So we went to
Quesnel.
All the hot spots.
AKA Quiznel.
And we did
Kelowna and Kamloops.
Yeah.
And?
And that's the thing.
No but.
And?
And what happened
to the shows?
They were pretty bad.
They weren't fun at all.
Yeah.
But it was fun to hang out with Dino.
Yeah, that's the road.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's the road as, that's pretty much it.
It's all, you know, the shows are bad.
If you're lucky you're with somebody you like.
Yeah.
And the food is horrible.
Oh, food was, I gained a few pounds.
Ah, but you work at a juice place, you'll be fine.
I don't drink it.
Do you tell customers that when they come in?
What's better?
McDonald's.
Have you heard of a McFlurry?
Yeah, I like to plug McDonald's whenever I can.
Have you heard of a McFlurry?
It's kind of like a juice, but awesome.
You have to use a spoon to eat it.
Yeah, it's like a juice
with chunks of rollo in it.
I've been telling the boss
we need to get a rollo juice.
He's angry.
Keep getting all these texts.
So you did the road.
Would you go back on the road?
Yeah.
Yeah, because
they give you cash money.
Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. Because they give you cash money. Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Fair enough.
Is that the first time that you've been out on the road?
Well, I also went out before with a past ex-Christian.
You crossed the street before, right?
A few times.
Okay.
Yeah.
You've been on a road.
Yeah.
Some have compared me to a chicken.
Sure, yeah.
Oh, I see it.
But yeah, going out.
Our apartment is called Chicken Noodle Soup.
That's pretty great.
That's pretty good, yeah.
You have a chickeny body.
Is this your first?
Fine chicken.
Fine noodle.
Is this your first roommate-roommate that you've ever had?
No, I lived first with a Japanese man, and then...
How did that happen?
And then an Australian man.
And then my boyfriend, and then now noodle.
So who are these Japanese and Australian men?
Oh, they're just my old roommates, you know.
Just guys you used to know?
Yeah, no, we were not romantically together.
They just were also in my home.
Hmm.
But how did that happen?
Well, when I first moved here, I moved in with the Japanese guy.
It was his apartment. And then he moved back to Japan
And I had to fill his room
So I put out a Craigslist ad
And there was an Australian guy
I was like okay
Yeah
Like was he the first guy
Who came in
And you were like
Yep good enough
Fine
You exist
Yeah
You exist and you have
Cash money
Don't mind if I didgeridoo
Oh yeah
Trying to get a sleep at night.
Very difficult.
Oh, yeah.
It's daytime where I'm from.
You don't have any babies,
do you?
Because I'm going to dingo.
No, I'm building
into love pets.
Poor baby.
And then he went back to Australia?
Is that what happened?
I think he got deported.
Okay, all right.
Yeah, they charged in for seeing the morning kick down our door.
I don't really remember.
I don't remember.
Was that not scary at all?
As a 19-year-old gal just living with some strange dude?
No, it was okay.
It was all right?
It was pretty chill.
Yeah?
Yeah.
All right.
I take your word for it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I haven't done anything really chill my whole life.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Me neither.
Maybe I should chill out.
Maybe I should move to Australia.
Oh, man.
That seems where all the chill people are.
I could sort them out.
Their motto is no worries.
They got no worries.
Hakuna Matata.
Hakuna Matata.
Is that them?
Yeah.
Has Disney done an Australian movie?
They've done one on every other continent.
Huh.
I don't think so.
It's probably too expensive to get them.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
No, the animators don't want to make the flight.
Because they have to animate it in the country.
They want it to be authentic.
Yeah, I'm trying to think of white countries.
Has there been a Russian?
Anastasia.
That's not Disney.
Is it not Disney?
It was Bluth.
Like from...
From Arrested Development.
Is it Bluth? Was that their name? Yeah. It's the Bluth. Oh. Hmm. Like from... From Arrested Development. Is it Bluth?
Was that their name?
Yeah.
It's the Bluth family.
But in the animation one.
They did like Fern Gully.
Oh, that company.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
It looked very Disney though.
It did.
And it was like, it was sort of a Belle Beauty and the Beast ripoff.
Yeah.
But with Meg Ryan.
Rasputin.
Oh, wow.
Was Rasputin in that one?
I've never seen it.
I've never seen that either.
He's a bad guy.
Yeah.
He did the voice of Anastasia.
It's weird when a non-Disney company makes a cartoon movie because there's only a few
yeah and they american tale remember that one was that not disney no that was uh you know jerry
brockheimer i don't i don't remember who it was but it was yeah an american tale was a not disney
and iron giant that was not disney and then, I guess, Anastasia.
And all the DreamWorks ones.
Oh, yeah.
And then, you know, the crazy pervert Harvey Pekar.
Or not Harvey Pekar.
Robert Crumb.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Prince of the Cat.
Was that not Disney? No.
Well, maybe it was.
Maybe it was a subsidiary of Disney.
I thought I remembered Disney had a lot of, like,
ladies with big thighs and, like like nipples visible through their shirts.
Yeah.
Were you a cartoon fan
growing up?
Yeah.
Still am.
I was only allowed
to watch Simpsons
until I was like five
because my dad's weird.
Wait a minute.
So your dad would let you
only watch the Simpsons
no other cartoons?
Well no kids shows.
How come?
He thought that they were too stupid.
I think he just didn't want to watch them.
Oh, yeah.
I think that's what it is.
Here's the thing.
Here's some made up reasons, but we're watching The Simpsons.
This is close enough to a kids show.
Yeah, there's colors.
Yeah, I guess.
Do you think that's why you're funny and stuff?
Yeah.
Is your dad funny? My dad thinks he's funny. Oh, there and stuff? Yeah. Is your dad funny?
My dad thinks he's funny.
Oh, there you go.
Yeah.
Well, is he all dad jokes?
Well, his favorite joke is if he's at the grocery store or something and then the girl tells him, oh, have a nice day.
He says, don't tell me what to do.
And then we laugh every time.
That's a good one.
Yeah.
I have a roommate that uses the same line.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Do you live with my dad? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. He's the uses the same line. Yeah. Yeah. Do you live with my dad?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
He's the upstairs guy.
Oh, okay.
He only lets me watch The Simpsons.
What are other good dad jokes?
I need to learn these.
Oh, that's nacho cheese.
Oh, what's another one?
The one I always remember. Well, I mean, there's like, uh, give me back my
son when they, uh, deliver like a, when they bring food and it's like a lot of food, uh,
like a whole pizza and you say, uh, Oh, what are you guys going to eat?
Oh, that's pretty good.
Um, or if your kid orders, if you're at a restaurant what are you guys going to eat? Yeah. Oh, that's pretty good.
Or if your kid orders, if you're at a restaurant and your kid orders something to drink, and then you say two straws.
That's a funny one.
Like a romantic thing with your kid?
No, but like you're going to share.
We're going to share that drink.
I don't think you're ready to be a father, Graham.
No.
I don't know, Dan.
I don't know how they work Push your kid over
And be like
See you next fall
Have a nice trip
Yeah
Don't forget to fall back
I can't find
Who made Anastasia
Sullivan Bluth
Studios
Okay
Don Bluth
Huh
The Bluths
Yeah
Bluthco Oh they made dragon's lair the video game
oh i remember that yeah yeah land before time oh i loved the land before time all dogs go to heaven
rock-a-doodle oh i remember rock-a-doodle yeah he was like an elvis chicken a troll in Central Park? No, I don't know it. A troll in Central Park? Question mark?
No.
Okay.
No, we had fun.
Land Before Time?
Really?
That feels like it was before your time.
Oh, really?
The Land Before Time was before your time.
The thing about non-Disney movies is they're permanently unvaulted.
That's true.
Don't put it in the Mickey Mouse shaped vault.
No.
that's true don't put it in the
Mickey Mouse shape vault
no
um
but like
uh
yeah
cause
was that
where would you have seen those
I had a bunch of them
on VHS
yeah
ah
VHS
they're um
evergreen
you can
watch them whenever
kids don't need
like
think about
animated movies
is people are like
oh like grown ups who love going to see whatever Pixar movies now are like, I can't wait to have kids so they can see Cars 2.
There was, I was doing research for like the debaters.
I was trying to find what movies had the most sequels of, uh, any movies.
And, uh, Land Before the Time is, was way up there because they just kept making them,
I guess, on VHS.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Just like they do now with, like, Bring It On and American Pie.
Exactly.
But there's, I don't know, there's some, uh, uh, some Chinese movie that had 143 sequels.
Yeah.
Are all the James Bond ones considered sequels?
It's a gray area.
But, yeah, it's all the same character, right?
He just never ages.
Or he ages 10 years at a time and then goes back.
Yeah.
What is the, yeah, like somebody said they were going to try and figure out a link
between all the James Bonds.
Well, don't.
Yeah, I don't know.
But, you know, I feel like there's just people
on the internet
that want to do that kind of stuff.
Oh, it seems very busy.
What?
To, like, just try and connect them all?
Like a lot of busy work, yeah.
Yeah.
But that would be a great summer job
if somebody's like,
connect all the James Bonds.
Yeah, but...
All right.
Who's paying you?
The Bluth Company.
Oh, that's good.
They're planning on making
an animated James Bond movie.
We can't call it that, though.
Yeah.
It's called Spy Man.
Spy starring Melissa McCarthy.
Oh, yeah.
She's going to be in a...
She's our new comedy summer blockbuster.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Move over Adam Sandler, is what I say.
Move over quite a bit. Yeah. Yeah, Move over Adam Sandler, is what I say. Mm-hmm. Move over quite a bit.
Yeah, and they keep moving.
Ooh, are there summer comedy blockbusters?
Of course there are.
Yeah.
Yeah, there's always a Bridesmaids or a...
But I feel like she's it.
Like, she's the...
Because last year it was the one where she goes on the road.
Tammy.
Tammy.
Did you see Tammy?
That wasn't a block...
No one saw Tammy. Huge hit. No, it was not. It was. Did you see Tammy? That wasn't a block. No one saw Tammy.
Huge hit.
No, it was not.
It was.
Did you see it?
No, I didn't see it.
But I know that I was like, I remember Googling it because I was like,
oh, I'm going to make a snarky tweet now that I'm operating my own Twitter account
about Tammy.
And then I saw that it was like a huge success.
And I was like, well,
in my face,
I guess.
And then she was in The Heat.
Yeah.
And that was a huge,
that was a summer one.
I like that one.
And then,
you know,
what's the other one?
What?
I don't know what comedies are coming out.
Identity Thief.
She was in Identity Thief.
Oh yeah.
I bet you that was a hit too.
She makes all these,
she makes like two movies a year
and she's still on
Mike and Molly, apparently.
Oh, yeah.
I forgot about that.
Yeah.
Like, that's the kind of thing where it should have gone off the air when she became a giant star.
No, I don't think anybody makes that kind of, you know, that crazy Jim Carrey money anymore.
Hmm.
You know?
Like, I think, like, you'd get paid a couple million to make a big movie.
I think you're wrong.
Yeah, I hope I'm wrong, but why is she still on Mike and Molly?
Surely they could have found somebody to fill in for her.
I've never seen Mike and Molly.
Is it good?
Is she on it because she loves it?
It's great.
Yeah, it's a real passion piece.
Okay, I gotcha.
She plays Molly.
I guess.
I don't know.
I've never seen it.
I'm not.
Who watches Mike and Molly mom i don't even know
what the uh conceit is i assume there are two people that mike is a cop yeah he does most of
the acting in the show is she a criminal she's an identity thief i think he does most of the
acting in the show i don't think she's in it very much now that she's a movie star.
Well, off I go to work.
Yeah, it's him just Skyping, but you don't see her side of it.
Okay.
Sounds good, Mike.
They just leave it to him to fill the half hour. They don't even write it.
Oh, wow.
I'd watch that show.
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know what she's...
I don't know what her whole deal is, man.
But she's doing great.
And the other guy, Mike,
he's doing fine as well.
Yeah, he's got a TV show.
Yeah.
What if they were like,
uh, well, she wants to leave the
show, but we still have this slot,
and we already have the sets built. Can we just call
the show Mike? The weird thing is
they have commercials for it.
Yeah. And she's not even
like the star of the commercials.
Like, it's pretty
evenly Mike and Molly.
Like, you would think, like think like hey there's a tv show
every week that has a giant movie star on it yeah yeah what that's weird also uh it's all canon all
of her characters exist in the mike and molly universe they're building a universe out of uh
melissa mccarthy and it's all, it's like the Avengers.
She, characters from other movies,
like the character from The Heat,
will appear in the spy one.
Yeah.
In the spy one.
Dave, what's going on with you, man?
Guys, can we not? Can we not?
Can we not?
Oh, someone online was making, like, they isolated from every episode.
Not quite every episode, but they're working on it.
The ways that you introduce me at the beginning of every show.
Oh, yeah.
What I would like to hear is someone make a super cut of when you say,
Dave, what's going on with you?
And me saying, not a heck of a lot.
Or whatever it is I say.
Here's what's going on with me.
I'm a dad of a baby.
Congratulations.
Thanks.
I've known for a long time.
I know, but it feels like you should have told me.
I only found out today.
And here's what's going on with the baby.
She is now saying consonants.
So these oohs and ahs are now goos and guhs.
That's fun.
Yeah, it's fun.
And then soon she'll be saying continent.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What do you think her first continent will be? I'm hoping it's a consonant.
No, but what do you think? She's going to? I'm hoping it's a consonant.
No, but what do you think?
She's going to say North America?
No, Australia, probably.
She's so chill.
Oh, she is chill.
Yeah, she's super chill.
Were we calling Australia Oceania at any point?
Were we?
Yeah.
Oh, the country is Australia.
The continent is Oceania.
Yeah, I feel like that was a thing at some point. I used to play Top Spin, the tennis Xbox game.
Okay.
And one of the continents was Oceania.
What is it?
Oceanus.
Oh.
Actually, I think Oceanus is like a body shop.
Perfume.
No, it's not.
It absolutely is.
Prove me wrong.
You're not going to be able to find it tonight.
So yeah, that's great.
She says, it's like,
it's only been like a week of this,
of consonants.
So it's like, she'll say dada,
but she's not saying it about me.
No, but she's talking about your dada plan.
Yeah, she's like, what are you. No, but she's talking about your data plan.
Yeah, she's like, what are you paying?
You're getting screwed.
What, roaming charges?
And I think the only word that I've caught that could possibly be a word that she says is gahool.
From that owl movie? From the Legends of the Guardians.
Yeah, yeah.
The Owls of Cahool
Cahool
She's a big fan of that right
You
When
When Abby was pregnant
She used to put headphones on
And just
Play the movie
Play the DVD
Yeah
Oh wow
And the other thing is
She's like
Eating more solid foods
Sure
And
Oh so she's not on a juice cleanse
She's not on a juice cleanse She She's not on a juice cleanse.
She was on a milk cleanse for months.
I would go on a milk cleanse.
I would for sure go on a milk cleanse.
Like you're only allowed to drink chocolate milk, I assume.
Various milks for various times of the day.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Goat's milk, chocolate milk.
Oh, goat's milk.
Butter milk.
That's a rude awakening.
And then skim
Yeah why not
Skim
Well skim just
Tastes like water
Right
It's fine
Yeah it's okay
You need it
You need skim
After all that goat
And butter milk
Have butter milk
For dinner
Then a sensible
Skim milk
Before bed
Yeah
And then die
Two weeks later
Have some of this
Kefir Would you call it?
Kefir?
Kefir?
Kefir.
Yeah.
Yeah, so she's eating solid food now.
And Abby usually, she'll do it when I'm at work,
and then she'll try to save one for when I'm home.
But sometimes she can't, and she'll just feed her you know she'll she'll sit her in her high
chair put uh uh whatever the tray out in front sure and just trough yeah and give the baby like
you know sliced up uh little bits of fruit some like some stuff she cooks because the baby can't
you know eat an apple no uh uh some stuff she doesn't some stuff she'll because a baby can't eat an apple.
No.
Some stuff she doesn't.
Some stuff she'll just give her like yogurt.
Like the kid will eat a whole thing of yogurt.
Oh, yeah.
She loves yogurt.
Oh, I saw the Facebook photo where she's covered completely with yogurt.
Yeah.
I feel like we're missing out on, here's a theory, guys.
Because babies just rub food all over themselves.
And they got the smoothest skin.
Are we missing out by not slopping a little around our face during dinner?
You're probably missing out, but I will say babies don't have beards.
Go on.
Babies don't have nearly as much oil in their face.
Yeah.
Babies also don't have, um, they started out that way. Like they, they never, like before they were putting food on their face, they, they already
had great skin.
Oh, that.
Yeah.
But see, like, is it not making it better?
Although it's.
We're always trying to get back to baby skin, right?
When you are, when the baby's got like cradle cap or acne, uh, when they're born, they're
like, just put some breast milk on it.
Oh, really?
Breast milk and coconut oil
are the two things they tell you to rub on a baby.
But you know,
you'll see a baby just rub
like a half an avocado into their face.
And then you buy something from the store
and it says it's got avocado in it.
Yeah, you can make a pretty good
homemade face mask with avocado.
Right?
Yeah.
So what do babies know that we don't know?
Nothing.
Oh, that should be a pop-up on the internet.
This baby knows something that dermatologists hate.
What's the one that I always see that's like,
I wonder if people in the other parts of the world are seeing it,
but it's about a Canadian skinny pill.
Oh, it's called speed.
Oh, wow.
So, yeah, but the thing about the baby eating food is,
how often do you sweep your house?
I mean, I'd probably be the wrong guy to ask that question.
I would say that I do not own a broom.
Great, I asked a slob and a 20 year old
well i think you can safely do it like weekly is probably fine sure uh depending on how much
you know hardwood or or tile or linoleum you have. Yeah. Um, uh, maybe a little less,
maybe every five days.
Now that we have the baby who's just throwing food everywhere.
It's daily.
I know the other day when I was here,
uh,
she was throwing around angel hair pasta.
You were like,
no,
it was vermicelli.
It was vermicelli.
You were like,
uh,
I think we're going to cancel this.
Cause it's sticking to everything.
Like just sticking everywhere.
And she didn't enjoy it.
No, no, no.
Grandpa loved it.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
He must just be having the time of his life.
Yeah.
And yet he's losing weight.
Really?
Yeah.
Not a lot.
He's fine.
Yeah.
He still looks pretty firm.
He's great.
He's great.
And the other thing is all of a sudden he's started, like we feed the dog chicken and rice.
And suddenly he's just like spitting rice out, like bringing it from one room to another one.
I'm going to just leave this here.
Because now he's had fruit and avocado and, you know, vermicelli.
He's going on a world tour.
He's a foodie.
Yeah, he's a real foodie.
They should have tiny little dog trucks.
Dog food trucks.
Wait, now.
Sorry.
Wait a minute.
Okay.
Because I agree with the concept.
But why does the truck have to be tiny for the dog to drive it?
So dogs are making the food in this scenario.
Dogs are serving it.
I feel like if you left two dogs in charge of a food truck, they would just eat all the food.
Well, that's why it has to be a tiny one.
Otherwise, they would die from eating a giant food truck.
And then the boss would show up.
He's a human.
He doesn't do a lot of the work.
Although, I guess it doesn't matter who
drives them. They're not like ice cream trucks that
drive around throwing out
chicken skewers.
Pad Thai.
Yeah, yeah. Best tacos in town.
Ooh, taco truck.
I think when I first
heard about food trucks, that's what I assumed would
happen. That's what they kind of used to be.
Like the sandwich trucks would go from like worksite to worksite.
Oh, okay.
But now they just park like a restaurant.
Like they.
Well, the bars in town aren't allowed to serve food.
Some of them are like the brew pubs.
Right.
And so they just park outside there.
And at concerts and stuff.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I haven't eaten at a food truck in a long time, but I enjoy it.
But it's only, it feels like something I would only do on vacation.
Well, I like sitting.
Yeah.
I like sitting.
I like indoors.
I love indoors.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Some air conditioning.
Mm-hmm.
Waitresses.
Yeah.
Something maybe.
Waiters.
Maybe crushed up R rolos in something
oh yeah where do you do you know of a juice place i don't know of this was one scottish
juice place that would be cool if you were the juice guy that like you order juice and then
guys like i can throw some oreos in there for you like i don't tell my boss but i'll crush
those oreos and put them in there for you yeah yeah
okay
well I can actually
do that
you could do that
yeah
you've got pockets
full of them
yeah yeah yeah
you're like
I can make this taste
actually like something
you want to drink
yeah
yeah
oh I can just
sell you a coke
I got some cokes
in the back
if you want a coke
um so yeah
that's me
nothing but uh
sweeping
and waiting for the baby to say Dada.
I hope that, yeah, Dada is a good first.
She doesn't really do M's.
She does D's, though.
Do you have any record of what your first word was?
Encephalopathy.
Wish I had known a word.
Wish I knew a word as an adult.
Do you want to say cephalopod or something like that?
Yeah, probably something like that.
Cephalitis.
Did you?
First word?
Kitty cat.
Really?
Yeah.
Wow.
That's pretty cute.
Yeah, I was also in the same mold a little bit.
Please.
You grow out of it.
You grow out of it You grow out of it
Would you know yours?
Mm-hmm
When my parents went away
On a vacation
And they left me at my grandparents' house
And my grandmother was trying to explain to me
Like, they're going away
Without you
And my first words were oh god
how old were you i don't know five yeah i was 60 how long can you how how yeah but that was the
first time i'd ever said anything that was like words but you how long did they go away
how long are you allowed to leave your
kid with your grandparents for before they're verbal i don't know but yeah anyways that's the
first but like there's a difference between like you know kind of babbling kind of yeah oh totally
and then actually like kitty cat like would it be like i'm seeing a thing i'm identifying it as so is that when you
consider it a first word is when you like identify a thing like yeah she points at you
i want you yeah if there's intention behind it i guess but like she said
but that's not me. No. I'm Jeff.
Yeah.
When she gets mad at you when she's a teenager, she's calling you by your first name.
You're like, you call me Jeff.
Did you get mad?
I never.
I don't think it works that way.
I think your parents get mad at you.
And call you your full name.
Your full name.
Yeah, yeah. No, I would do it to my parents to throw them off their game.
Ooh.
Yeah. Well, do your parents call you Dave parents to throw them off their game. Ooh. Yeah.
Well, do your parents call you Dave?
Yeah.
They don't call you David?
It took me a while to figure out whether I was Dave or David.
Yeah, there comes a time with a name like that where you've got to decide that you're...
Because my dad still calls me Sophia.
Is that...
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
That's a different name, though.
Sophie isn't usually short for Sophia, is it? I. Oh, okay. That's a different name, though. Sophie isn't usually short for Sophia, is it?
I think always, yeah.
Oh, always?
Okay.
But like, so your name isn't officially Sophie.
No, it's Sophia.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
But I feel with those.
Seems a little fancy for me, though.
Oh, disagree.
Disagree.
You could be a Sophia.
Why not?
When did you choose Sophie?
Pretty early.
I think people just started calling me Sophie when I started going to school.
Right.
Yeah.
And then you were just like, that's it.
Yeah.
But if a guy...
What about somebody who was Billy when he was a kid?
Uh-huh.
Billy the kid.
What about somebody who was Billy when he was a kid?
Uh-huh.
Billy the kid.
But then he grows up and now he's a man, but people are still calling him Billy.
Is he in showbiz?
Yeah, Billy Crystal.
I'm asking for a friend.
Because Billy works great as an adult in showbiz.
That's true.
Yeah. Or sports.
Same with Woody, I guess, because that's Woodrow.
Jimmy.
Jimmy.
Bobby.
Bobby. Yeah, I guess, because that's Woodrow. Jimmy. Jimmy. Bobby. Bobby.
Yeah, I guess.
They're kid names.
But is there a female equivalent of like.
Of Sophia?
No, of like when you're a kid.
Female equivalent of Sophia.
Yeah.
What you got.
There is.
Of something that you should outgrow, a name you would outgrow you would yeah that would be different when you were
a kid but then like suzy and suzanne i guess but i know plenty of grown-up suzies yeah that's true
yeah but like barb and barbara no that's not that's no different yeah we don't really do that
with with girls.
If you can think of any, send them in.
Let us know your rascal girl's name.
Yeah, yeah.
Who was the most rascally girl you knew?
What was her name?
Oh, I have one.
Izzy, growing up.
And now she goes by Isabelle. Sure.
Nice.
Or Lizzy.
You could be a grown-up Lizzy or Izzy. Yeah, that's true. What's the name of the guy in be a grown up Lizzie or Izzy.
Yeah, that's true.
Because what's the name of the guy in Guns N' Roses?
Izzy Stradlin.
Yeah, there you go.
Exactly.
His real name was Isabel.
Isabel Stradlin.
He left Guns N' Roses.
He was replaced by Gilby Clark.
Yeah.
Which is short for Gilba Mesh.
Isabel. What's your Have we gone through you this week?
No
We will though
What's your deal?
What's your beef?
It's your story
I
This
Couple nights ago
I
There's a guy
I guess in town that is doing comedy,
but he was previously a professional wrestler.
Uh,
and he went by the name ladies choice.
Right.
That was his character's name.
Um,
uh,
not a WWE professional.
No,
no,
uh,
local.
Yeah.
Local promotion.
But,
uh,
uh,
like a lot of people have been telling me like,
oh,
you got to meet this guy.
He's very nice.
He's very nice.
And-
Stop telling us who we need to meet.
But it turns out in this case, they were right.
Because it literally just ended up talking about like,
wrestling for an hour and a half with this guy.
And he would just keep naming them,
trying to name the most obscure wrestler he knew. And I knew them. was like who uh you know hulk hogan oh ted di biasi all the
classics um but yeah it was uh uh it was i i don't think i've ever chatted with a wrestler besides
colt cabana uh and And it was a real treat
to just, because I was like,
what happens when this happens? What do you do when this
happens? Oh yeah, what do you do when that happens?
Ah, you just work through the pain.
Yeah, you just keep going.
Oh, I don't think I could be a wrestler then.
No, no, no. Yeah, I think
we're made of softer stuff. We'd be good
managers. Sure, but sometimes
they gotta get involved. Maybe we We'd be good managers. Sure, but sometimes they got to get involved.
Maybe we'd just be good announcers.
Sitting ringside.
I'm not good at memorizing all the names.
Maybe you could be in charge of parking.
Oh, boy.
Like in charge of it?
No, maybe I could be a good manager.
Do that thing where you reach in and trip the guy,
trip your opponent.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What would your thing be?
An umbrella?
A broom?
You could be the guy who sweeps it.
Oh, yeah.
My thing would be like Dave the guy who thinks wrestling's for children.
Big Daddy Dave.
Yeah.
Dave the guy who's over it.
Yeah, Dave is not interested.
So it was a treat. It was a treat to chat with this guy about all the things who's over it. Yeah, Dave is not interested. So it was a treat.
It was a treat to chat with this guy about all the things.
And he was telling me, like, remember the guys, the bushwhackers?
Yes, of course.
They were like in their 50s.
Yeah, okay.
But that seems crazy to me.
They're Australians.
They look young.
Ah, that's true because they got so much chill down there.
Yeah.
You'd think that they would look older because they're in the sun so much.
It makes you wrinkle. Yeah. But they do eat a chill down there. Yeah. You'd think that they would look older because they're in the sun so much. It makes you wrinkle.
Yeah.
But they do eat a lot of kangaroo meat.
And they rub a lot of kiwi on their face.
I don't know why I thought of that as an Australian food.
So close.
Yeah.
Was there an Australian food other than kangaroo?
Shrimp.
Sure. Hot off the Australian food? Yeah. Other than kangaroo? Sure.
Hot off the work.
Fosters.
Duracell batteries.
They had a campaign in the 80s with a guy for like, he looked like he was from the Road
Warrior movies.
Oh, everything in the 80s was Australia.
Yeah, yeah.
Duracell was one of their.
Yeah.
They eat a bunch of Yahoo Sirius.
They drink Koala Springs. They drink Koala Springs.
I miss Koala Springs.
Crocodile of Dundee.
Do you guys sell Koala Springs at your juice place?
It's all we sell.
Oh, wow.
That's the place for me.
So what did you learn about wrestling?
I don't think that I learned anything.
What did he learn?
Well, he definitely didn't learn anything.
If anything, he came out dumber on the other
end of our conversation.
But just like
the thing
that's always fascinated me about these guys
is that they go on the road
just like a band or
a comedian or whatever.
So they live the road lifestyle.
They go out drinking and all this kind of crazy stuff.
You know,
Archie.
Yeah.
And then,
uh,
but then they got to stay in shape and that's what blows my mind is that then
they have to spend a chunk of the day working out instead of just sleeping,
which is,
yeah,
exactly.
That's what most people do.
No,
I know,
but it fascinates me.
You've been to a hotel gym. it's just full of people doing that.
You would love my mom.
He'd be so impressed.
Why?
Does your mom work out a lot?
A little.
Oh, yeah.
I'm kind of interested, yeah.
I wonder if wrestlers, you know how there's like actresses, and I guess actors.
Yeah, there's both.
Who won't like do nudity yeah are there wrestlers
who are like i won't cut myself with a razor blade i guess so that would be my thing is i will like
you people will show up like oh maybe he'll be desperate enough to cut himself with a razor blade
you're like no i'm above that yeah i because those guys that do that uh when they're
older dudes like it's really they're scarred up for yeah they've got these scarred up foreheads
and it's really but the rock doesn't have that so he must have been one of those guys who was like
no i'm the rock but even in his early backyard wrestling days i don't know maybe he just cut
like the inside of his thighs or something.
Yeah.
Oh, just to feel something,
you mean?
Yeah.
But to hide from his doctor.
He was pretty angsty.
He certainly didn't
cut his eyebrows
because those are
his moneymaker.
Oh, yeah.
I wonder if he has,
if he's one of those guys
that has a thing insured,
like a body part insured.
Oh, yeah.
Like The Rock has
his eyebrows insured
or,
because like Keithith richards
uh he that's the one the example you go yeah he because he had his uh uh voice voice box or
whatever his voice insured for like two million dollars keith richards the non-singer yeah
isn't that weird because he's maybe because he smoked all the time who would insure that he probably knows a guy
yeah but like yeah there's always an actress who's got her legs insured or a dancer i'm good
what if i take an insurance on somebody else's legs nah then i'll be the prime suspect in their
murder in their leg murder in their amputation uh well anyways so i met a wrestler that's what i did uh-huh uh you
know and i had it was a good time yeah and i i don't feel like i got drank under the table by
this wrestler so they're not famous drinkers andre the giant was sure yeah there's that picture of
holding the can of beer and it's in his it looks so tiny yeah it looks like a
hilarious mini like a mini fridge beer yeah like a mini bar yeah anyways it was a lot of fun and uh
you know what who knows who i'll meet tonight going out after this you're gonna jokes please
huh you're gonna jokes please i am yeah cool and uh what else is going on? Oh, I might have a new roommate Oh yeah, yeah, someone's left
Somebody's left, but also
The gal came today
And we all met her
Has a girl leaving?
Yeah, a girl's leaving
And so we're trying to replace her with another girl
Oh, so all girls are replaceable to you?
Yeah, yeah
He just wants to keep the equilibrium
Yeah, we want to Because we don't want it to turn into a bro house.
So we want to keep it somewhere.
Plus all their cycles have synced up.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Gotcha.
Yeah.
And, but here's, I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing.
She lives in her car right now.
So.
Is it Jewel?
Yeah, it's Juul.
She's still doing that.
She's like, I gotta get back to basics.
I haven't had a hit song since I lived in my car.
And then she just like...
Well, what kind of car is it?
I don't...
Toyota something, she said.
Oh, reliable.
I don't know why we asked her that.
But we did ask her.
We're like, oh yeah, what kind of car are you living in?
That was my first thought.
In your car,
does your car have references?
Oh no,
it's stolen.
Yeah,
sure.
I've never heard of,
here,
I'll put it on the phone right now.
Oh,
go on.
Yeah.
Yeah,
J.D. Power and Associates.
So,
yeah,
I don't know. But, she's probably going to be the new roommate, so we'll see.
Yeah, best alternative so far.
Yeah.
The woman who's in love with her car.
As long as they keep their, as long as she doesn't bring the car into the house.
Oh, they need to have a separate entrance now.
No, I don't want them in the house at all.
No entrance.
Graham's motorist.
I am motorist.
Yeah.
They should have their own drinking fountains.
Yeah.
They should have their own gas stations.
Cool.
Humans and cars should fuel up at different places.
Humans at the juice bar.
Cars at the gas bar.
Anyways, yeah, so I don't know know we'll see how that turns out well oh we thought the car was moving in
i hope she moves in and she has a race car bed oh yeah well she won't have a bed at this point
because she's living in her car so she can carve a bed bed at this point because she's living in her car.
She can carve a bed out of her car?
If she's living in her car, why does she need to live at your place, too? Oh, because this is the thing that was very interesting.
She was doing it just because she's like, ah, just save some money up.
Yeah, I'm writing an article for a website.
I lived in my car for a year.
Yeah.
But then she says, like, you have to eat dinner out three meals a day.
Yeah, it's too expensive.
Oh, I do that, too.
She's like, it's costing me a fortune to live in my car, so.
You have to eat dinner three meals a day.
Yeah.
You can't just have a cheap breakfast.
You've got to go for a top of the line filet mignon.
Lobster four times a day.
You go for a top of the line.
Lobster four times a day.
But I guess, you know, like, can you imagine, like, just, like, having to be outside all the time until the very moment that you're going to sleep?
Because there's no, like, hanging out in your car.
Yeah.
So that's. You could, like, hang out in the trunk.
That's true.
That is true.
Don't lock me in here, you guys.
They did come out with that car that had speakers that fold down in the trunk.
Yeah, that's true.
It was a Dodge.
On my ride?
No, no.
It was a standard feature.
I considered buying this car.
Because you're like, what if I ever get locked in my own trunk?
No, it was just like it had all the features of my car but it also had this feature
um but it was an american car and i've just been told not never to buy one no that's true i mean
if you're gonna live in one it's fine but if you're gonna drive so roomy and hey the thing
about living in cars you don't have to sweep ever that's true that's true you can just go to one of
those vacuum things get them vacuumed out that's pretty pretty good. Or if you're gross, not do that at all either.
Yeah, that's true.
What if you were using it and you went on a date and somebody was like,
there's a lot of stuff in this car.
Oh, I live in it.
Or just be like, you want to go back to my place?
And then just recline your seat.
A nightcap.
You've got like little bottles in the glove compartment.
Not bad.
Pretty good.
You know.
Anyway, so we'll see.
See how that turns out.
Like it was only when I was walking over here.
I was like, oh, she seemed nice.
But also she could be an axe murderer.
No, I mean, there was that save by the bell where there was the father and daughter living in their car.
It was a Christmas episode.
Two episodes, really.
Isn't that the one where Zach gets stabbed, though?
Yeah, Zach got stabbed.
In the neck.
Yeah, because he had half of a hamburger left.
He was so hungry.
Well, no, it was the weirdest thing because it's a live action show, but it zoomed in on her face
and then he turned into a turkey.
That was a lot.
That's usually something that only happens in cartoons.
So she was so hungry, she saw him as a turkey and stabbed him in the neck.
Yeah.
And then tried to scoop
stuffing out of his butthole.
Yeah.
That's where that show
was taken out of the air.
You guys have lost your minds.
And the scene went on for 45 minutes.
Oh, because it was the extended Christmas episode.
It was the 12 hours of Christmas on Saved by the Bell.
Oh, well, shall we move on to Overhurst?
Well, I'm not saying that will happen to you.
Yeah, after these messages.
Bikini season.
Volleyball time.
Hot dogs and hamburgers.
Get ready to the Olympic dive.
Fourth of July.
Are you ready for rollerblading rain time?
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It's Erin and Brian from Throwing Shade.
If you didn't know from that very clear intro.
We take a look at issues involving ladies and gays and we treat them with much less respect
than they deserve.
So watch out, punks.
So hey, download us
and take us to the beach
while you're doing
your summertime fun.
Hi, I'm Justin McElroy.
I'm Travis McElroy.
I'm Griffin McElroy.
We're brothers
and we host a podcast
called My Brother,
My Brother and Me.
It's a comedy advice show
and if you like podcasts
and when I say me,
you can still see the one right now. You gotta see us live at the pacific northwest area of america and also canada yeah we're coming to portland we're coming to seattle
we're coming to vancouver we're going to be there august 28th 29th and 30th i want to buy tickets
to the portland show tough they're sold out pretty good pretty good advertisement so far
but there are tickets still
available for the seattle show and for the vancouver show if you go to bit.ly forward slash
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It's a big show. It's going to be a huge
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You won't want to miss it. Gosh, we hope you've
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Or else this is just very weird
for you. We're brothers.
We're experts. And we're live,
baby.
Overheard Overheard
It's a segment in which we see, hear things
Out there in the world
Then we share them here on the show
If you have one
I have one, it's kind of older
Our guest
It's when Chris James and I were on the road
There were
James and Buttle
The comedy duo of
Oh man
So there was a group of people
And they were pretty drunk
And there was one guy who was kind of trying to
Know everything
Like people would say something and he'd be like
Oh well did you know
A real Cliff Clavin
Do you get that?
No.
All right.
And then they were talking about TV shows.
And then he said, oh, I'm a big Lord of Thrones fan.
I watch like every one.
Oh, well, close.
Yeah.
Yeah, close.
It's pretty smart.
And then if somebody called him on it, he'd be like,
no, not the Game of Thrones.
Lord of Thrones is the after show where they talk about it.
Speaking of Thrones.
Dave, do you have one?
I do watch.
Lord of Thrones.
I don't know anything about Game of Thrones,
but I've seen every episode up until like two weeks ago
because Abby and I watch them every week, and she's read the books and she follows it and i
think everyone looks alike all right i can't tell all the handsome princes apart and um
and so like two weeks ago i just i i finally got to the point where i fell asleep during one and
i just decided i'm never going back i'm never never going, I'm never going to catch up now.
I won't have time to watch the 40 minutes I missed of this.
Well, I've, I've never seen an episode and it seems like a big commitment.
Like it seems like there's a lot of characters that you have to commit to.
And also it's a, it's a show.
I already know that there's like a big event where all the red wedding or whatever.
Then everybody gets killed.
Not everybody.
But a lot of them.
Yeah.
But so, you know.
But also I saw that and I was like, it didn't seem like that many people got killed.
Everyone talked like it was the biggest thing that ever happened.
But I don't know.
People die all the time on this show.
Especially in those days.
Oh, yeah. Especially in those days.
In those fictional days.
You know it's not based on Earth.
Oh, I've never seen it.
I do have an overheard, I guess.
Okay.
This is barely anything. i was uh up the street from me there's a daycare yeah and they
have a bunch of toys in the yard and uh there was this like truck toy that was like an 18 wheeler
um and uh i walked past it and i looked over and I had to do a double take
and go back and like squint
and read what was on the side of this truck.
And it said,
Tiara Yachts.
Only the most exclusive yachts
brought to you by truck.
I want my kid playing with trucks,
but I want him, you know.
I want him to be gay for sure.
Or, you know, rich.
Yeah.
The same.
I want him to be part of the yacht life.
Tiara yachts.
I like that.
Yeah.
There's something for everyone.
Trucks, tiaras, and yachts.
It's the fanciest word I know.
Is there a fancier five-letter word?
Caviar.
Nope.
Pretty good.
Pretty good on the draw there.
Mine is an overseen.
Now, this was up in the Whitehorse, up in the Yukon.
Oh, yeah. You visited. Now this was up in the Whitehorse Up in the Yukon Oh yeah you visited
And I was in this restaurant
Home of the oldest pussy in town
Which we learned about last week
A mummified cat
That wasn't even there
Yeah it was broken
They have a lot of mummified stuff up there
Like the toe thing
And then mummies just roam the streets
It's cursed Yeah the whole town is cursed there, hey? Yeah. And then mummies just roam the streets.
It's cursed. Yeah, yeah.
The whole town is cursed.
The whole province is run by mummies.
Yeah, whenever you try and whenever the federal government
tries to limit bandages
and things like that, oh, they get so
mad up there. We need
them. And they say, you're not
my mummy. Yeah, you're not my real mummy. It's a good joke up there. A need them yeah they say you're not my mommy yeah you're not my real mommy
it's a good joke up there a lot of t-shirts yeah what do you sphinx i don't know but they have one
of those up there yeah something sphinx and it's like a sphinx with sting lines coming out of it. So this is, I was walking past the women's bathroom
and the door was wide open and there was a...
Sure.
I know, right?
It doesn't sound plausible.
Yeah.
Like you would just walk right past an opportunity like that.
Yeah.
Check things out.
Yeah.
Got a lot of questions.
Yeah. Oh, yeah. Sit down, Taylor. It's there things out. Yeah. Got a lot of questions. Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Sit down, Taylor.
It's there, right?
Cool.
Very few urinals in this place for a ladies' bathroom.
But it's a machine.
I've never seen something like this before.
But it's from the Yukon Brewing Company, and it has the question at the top.
It says, remember the last time you had sex?
And then it was a pregnancy test dispenser.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
First of all, that's a pretty intimate question.
Remember the last time you had sex?
No.
My memory doesn't go back that far.
It was recent, but I've got memento.
I've got memento disease.
Anyway, so that was my overseeing.
Wow.
Yeah, pregnancy test in the bathroom.
Is that a thing?
Pregnancy test in the bathroom?
I've never seen it,
but I don't go in public bathrooms,
so I don't know.
But in my home, we do have one.
Is it a pay thing?
It's a claw machine.
Well, we have it rigged so you can put the same quarter every time.
It's a claw machine.
Oh, I hope I get the cool one.
Yeah, ooh, the digital display.
I just got an angry bird.
I mean, anything can be a pregnancy test.
I don't know that that's true.
Well, I mean, what I mean is...
Yeah.
Qualify that statement.
I mean, you can pee on anything.
Oh, that's true.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
You can pee on a popsicle stick.
Or a popsicle.
Yeah.
That's the great thing about living in the modern era.
You can pee on anything you want.
As long as you own it, you can pee on it.
Well, you know that the riddle of the Sphinx in the Yukon. You can pee on anything you want. As long as you own it, you can pee on it. Well, you know that
the riddle of the Sphinx in
Yukon? Uh-huh.
What has
four legs in the morning,
three
legs in, no, two legs in
the noon,
and then three legs at night
and sits down to pee. Oh, a
table.
Yeah.
A weird table.
Yeah, like a haunted table.
Yeah.
Oh, you forgot these two legs.
Oh, I apologize.
Oh, I can't get one of them back on.
Yeah, now it's only got two legs.
Oh, wait, I got one back on.
Now it's got three legs.
It's got to pee.
It's sitting down.
Now we also have overheard sent into us by people around the world.
If you want to send one into us, you can send it into spy at maximumfun.org.
This one is from Devin in southwest England.
Hey.
Hey. That was spot on.
I can do half a syllable of any accent.
Oh, okay.
German.
Really good.
Any requests?
Dutch.
It's very close to German.
Very similar.
I can tell the dialect difference.
So my friend was walking home from a nightclub and overheard a couple who were having sex over a dumpster.
The girl said to the guy, slow down, Gary.
You're making me spill my chips.
Which in England.
Fries.
Fries, yeah. A little thing of fries that's probably
maybe they split the fish oh i want to hear it with her accent
oh uh yeah if you could call it in and do the accent yeah oh boy gary yeah she's probably
making me spill my chips yeah but isn't that just like a euphemism for... Oh, right. Well, if Gary doesn't slow down,
he's going to spill his chips.
Yeah, why does she
care?
Go ahead, spill my chips.
The faster we're out of this dumpster
scenario. Over the dumpster.
Yeah.
Have you ever
had sex over a dumpster? No. Heard people
having public sex?
Yes.
I don't think I have.
I totally have in Stanley Park.
More than once.
Walking along the paths at dusk.
I'm like, well, those aren't animal noises I'm hearing.
Those are people's walls.
Oh, Gary.
Oh, Gary.
Gary, my chips.
It was two ducks, and I was like, I'm going to spill my bread.
Careful, I'm spilling my little bits of bread.
I bet when a guide duck is trying to think of what to think of to not finish,
he thinks of no bread.
He's like, oh, I hate that.
Yeah.
He thinks of no bread bread he's like oh i hate that yeah he thinks of that makes sense yeah yeah yeah like bread gets him so excited that it's over before it even starts yeah or duck baseball
oh man dizzy dean daffy dean were these baseball players I don't know
I started
watching that
do you watch that documentary
about Doc Ellis
oh yeah
I tried to start it
I tried to start it
yeah sign me up
for that answer too
I watched the
they made a 10 minute
online version
a few years ago
and then I was like
I don't need to see the 90s
that's what I need to watch
I need to see the 10 minute
yeah
it's animated.
Oh even better. Disney?
Yeah and it's Bluth.
This next one comes
from JJ in Adelaide
Australia.
Oceania.
I was recently at a
renaissance fair.
What was the rena Renaissance like in Australia?
A lot of prisoners being sent there.
Wasn't that it?
What are the galley?
What's the one where they?
Oh, yeah.
In the stocks?
Yeah.
I don't think they had traveled there yet in the Renaissance.
So then it would have been just the Aboriginal people.
Yeah.
Although I guess we have Renaissance fairs here and we didn't have a Renaissance.
No, that's true.
Yeah.
Although they...
Do they have Renaissance fairs in like Italy?
Or is that every day?
Every day.
Oh, they're sick of the Renaissance.
Yeah, I don't know.
It's a good...
It's like...
You know what's a weird thing is like uh there's all these
kind of celebrations of like what goes up in the yukon is like this is the old west and they have
renaissance fairs there's nothing just this like the 70s is there a place that just celebrates the
70s um oh boy where you go and it's like everything looks like serpico. I think a lot of small towns.
No, they're more like the 90s.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, like I'm thinking like where could I go that it looks like the 70s,
like big cars and like everybody's smoking.
Cuba.
That's the 50s is when that cut off. I'm looking for a place where the 70s never die.
Okay, if you're from the 70s, write us.
Yeah, because I'm interested to know.
Graham wants to come over.
I want to move there permanently.
There was that place in town where it was like, we're a 70s house
and you could, it was part of a
walking tour and it was like, you go in and
you sit down and listen to records and you're not
allowed to look at your phone. Oh, yeah,
right. Yeah. And it sucked.
But wait,
did that tour also provide marijuana and great acid?
No, it provided chips, but you kept dropping them while Gary was plowing you.
Yeah, plowing you.
Yeah, 70s style.
A jumping dumpster.
So this is at a Renaissance Fair.
Are we still on this one?
Oh, we absolutely are.
After the show, one small boy turned to his dad and asked,
Dad, can I do archery?
His dad replied, when you're older.
The boy then turned to his toddler sister and in a very audible whisper told her,
when I grow up, I'm going to learn archery and kill dad.
Then that's why you don't get any archery, kid.
You can do archery when I'm dead.
Perfect.
Well, then I will wanna.
I just want to do enough archery to kill you.
I don't want to do so much archery that I got a tummy ache.
Oh, somebody's gonna have a tummy ache.
I could do as much archery as I like.
Oh, I definitely remember eating so much I got a tummy ache when I as I like. Oh, I definitely remember eating so much.
I got a tummy ache when I was a kid.
Oh, yeah.
And having to go like lie down and try not to barf.
And being like everyone telling me I would get a tummy ache and then I had to sneak away.
So they didn't know I had a tummy ache.
I think they knew.
They were happy that I was gone. Did you ever like with the staying up late where you'd fight through being so tired?
You'd be like, I'm not tired.
And like you're totally falling asleep.
You're like, I want to watch Caddyshack.
I had that with, I was allowed to stay up and watch TV with my grandpa.
As long as it was The Simpsons.
But all he wanted to watch was like the news or Poirot or something.
And I didn't get it at all.
But it was so boring and I was also so tired.
So they're both fighting against me.
But I wanted to stay awake so badly.
I still get that.
Like I will be falling asleep watching TV.
And then I'll wake up five minutes later and be like, oh yeah, I'm still awake.
Yeah, yeah, I'm still good.
Yeah, no, no, nothing's wrong.
I'm still very much enjoying this.
Yeah.
This last one comes from Ashley in St. Louis, Missouri.
I was watching MeTV, a local antenna channel
that plays old shows and movies.
Gilligan's Island had just ended
and then the following notice came on the screen.
The following program is both educational and informative then saved by the bell came on and it was that episode oh no yeah the one with the stuffing yeah butt stuffing um
have you seen any uh good infomercials lately here's the one i like it's not even an infomercial it's
like a one minute commercial yeah it's for this egg this egg oh you don't have sex egg yeah it's
a sex egg is it is it the sex egg no no because somebody told me that a friend of jim jeffries
has a bit about like a butt sex egg what's a a, what? Like an egg you put up your butt?
Yeah, and it got stuck there.
And it got, you had to try, you tried to pull it out, but it didn't work.
Ah, because no, I'm talking about a friend of mine was given a gift that was like a,
like a fleshlight, but in an egg.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, this is like a giant ostrich egg.
Okay.
Where you put eggs in it.
And then you put eggs in those eggs in those oh it's an egg within
an egg it's like i guess i maybe you put it in the microwave and it scrambles them it like cooks
perfectly scrambled eggs if you crack a bunch of eggs into it you don't have to worry about
does it spin around or something yeah i mean if your microwave has that function
uh and then in the commercial, it's like,
you can make enough eggs to feed the army.
And there's three army guys eating eggs.
Oh, can that be my overheard?
I accidentally watched a bit of a...
I accidentally watched a bit of a woman going pee in the Yukon.
That was no accident.
No, there was a, cause I was trying to watch, I know this is because we're recording this
in May, but Letterman just had his last show and I was trying to watch it online on a streaming
site, but it just streamed what was on CBS at that time, which was like one in the morning.
Just streamed what was on CBS at that time, which was like one in the morning.
Oh.
And it was this commercial where they were asking a bunch of ladies, like, how do you think this woman looks?
Now look at a picture of her and her neck.
And the ladies were like, oh.
I love a good neck.
Yeah.
And so they were like, I'm going to start taking care of my neck.
So it was some sort of neck cream.
Okay.
For your neck. I'll buy it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It, I gotta start taking care of my neck. So it was some sort of neck cream. Oh, okay. For your neck.
I'll buy it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's also popular with ducks.
Swans.
Sure.
Yeah.
Oh, boy, swans.
Yeah, ostriches.
Yeah, flamingos.
Yeah.
Pink.
No, that's the show.
Yeah, they showed a picture of a woman's face.
And then when they showed the full picture picture she had a flamingo's neck.
The person was like,
oh,
oh no,
I don't want that.
What,
you think you're too good for a flamingo neck?
This woman makes a living.
That's a spot.
That's a necklace model.
In addition to our overheards
that are written in,
we also accept your phone calls.
If you would like to call us, our phone number is 206-339-8328.
Like these people here.
That's a necklace model.
Unless you can hold more necklaces than any of the other models.
We can put our whole line on there.
Hey, Dave Graham and possible guests.
This is Nesbitt G. from South Carolina.
I used BlixStore today and heard two voices of older gentlemen around the corner. I couldn't see them, but a, you know, can we go now?
And the guy's like, yeah, I'm finishing up now.
And then he's like, 30 seconds later, he goes,
yeah, this is really cutting into my nap time.
Yeah, when you have a nap scheduled in your brain and things get in the way of it.
Even a minute could slow you down.
This was going to be a 20-minute nap. Now it's a 19- slow you down oh well this is going to be a 20 minute nap now it's
a 19 minute nap yeah yeah you're you're shaving off a valuable nap are you a napper i am that's
why i didn't i didn't get why that was funny like like of course don't be rude he has a nap
scheduled yeah do you schedule them or do you just free form yeah i'm a long form improv napper yeah you're gonna herald um you don't nap you know i
wish yeah i don't have i i don't have the skill and or the the desire sometimes that'll hold you
back yeah sometimes i have the desire but no like yeah like i'm like oh i wish i could nap now too bad i have no practice at it and don't
know how to do it i'm a very strong napper what do you do 15 minutes 20 what do you do oh there
are hours well that's just sleeping that's sleeping ah shoot yeah no i do that yeah yeah
yeah like it's dark out it's's nighttime, you go to sleep. Yeah, yeah.
Nightmap.
Eight to twelve hours later.
Refreshing nightmap.
When you wake up, it's an entirely new day.
You have to go to your job.
Yeah.
Here's your next phone call.
Hey, Dave and Graham and... Alicia, maybe?
Close.
I have an overheard.
I was at the City Tavern in...
It's actually in Overdronk, because I just had a couple beers.
Alright.
But I was at the City Tavern in Philadelphia,
and this woman beside me said to her friend,
yes, I was having a lot of trouble walking,
so I examined my shoe,
and then I realized it's because I've had a lot of beer.
Quick to blame the shoe.
So I went back to Aldo.
All drunk girls shop at Aldo.
Oh, yeah.
I go into Aldo on a Friday night around 11 p.m.
Every girl in there is drunk.
Can you buy shoes drunk?
Will they let you?
Well, they just sell you two.
You have to have a permit.
Two left shoes that somebody stole the other one to.
And you're like, I'm walking by.
Oh, you're drunk.
I guess you can buy shoes drunk on the internet yeah i'm sure
many of the funniest shoes are about that way i've never been drunk in a department store
oh boy you gotta yeah i think i just created a new bucket list item yeah yeah get really drunk
walk around uh you can get drunk in a department store. Really? Perfume. Oh, yeah.
That's true.
Well, this was the most expensive drink I've ever had.
Do you think, how much perfume do you think you could drink?
Before what?
Before the law catches up with me? No, no.
Do you think you could get down?
Keep in mind, you have to drink it through a spray.
Oh, you're doing Spritz into your mouth?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, I guess a lot that way, because it wouldn't hit me all at once.
I think it would.
I think it would hit you right away.
Yeah, they're like, oh, this is incredibly fragrant and not in a delicious way.
You could look cool the first Spritz.
Like, you see a girl.
Yeah, oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't know.
I think if pressed, i think you could get a
you know a small bottle of men's cologne down
before before i realized what i was doing yeah but uh why how much do you think you could drink oh
i know for a fact how much i could you know one of those cartoon bottles? Not cartoon, but like display bottle of Chanel No. 5.
Yeah.
Like an enormous thing.
Yeah, not that.
I could have...
I once snorted Axe Body Spray.
Is that worth anything?
Yeah, absolutely.
All right, here's your final overheard of 2015.
Hello, fellas and or lady fellas.
This is Tesla calling from the Vancouver area.
I live in between a convenience store and a high school.
And I just heard a gaggle of boys walk by having a mild verbal altercation.
It wasn't anything serious because one of them
said to the other
yeah well you're a marijuana smoker
and then all of his friends went
ooo like in a movie
and then from the distance
I could hear the faint sound
of an air horn being played from a cell phone
so that's
weird
yeah
the first time I heard this I really liked it
because I thought all the boys said
like in a movie
like he smokes marijuana
like in a movie
that must be a very well
trod path between the school
and the convenience store
you bet there's a sign up in the convenience store
that says four students at a time.
Please. Yeah.
We had a 7-Eleven
by our school right across the street.
Man, it was the best.
Ate so many hot dogs. We had a Max
Milk. What is that?
Max. But why is it milk?
That's just what they used to call it.
Really? In her day. Back in my day.
Yeah. Your day.
I'm confused.
Was it ever called Max Milk out here?
Old people call it that, and apparently young people.
Yeah, you guys missed it.
But no one in between.
It had a low.
Max Milk.
Wow.
Yeah, I never understood what that store was all about.
Max?
Yeah.
It's 7-Eleven, basically.
Yeah, but it had a cat wearing a hat.
The Tam O'Shanter?
Yeah, Tam O'Shanter is the logo.
Remember that?
No.
There was a cat logo.
If you remember being called Max Milk,
don't go all daffy about the cat wearing the hat.
You guys know the cat in the hat?
Yeah.
It's different than that.
Yeah. It's a different cat, different hat. You guys know the cat in the hat? Yeah. It's different than that. Yeah.
It's a different cat,
different hat.
Before the drinks
were called Frosters,
they,
you're not going to believe me on this,
they used to be called Slush Cats.
Do you believe him or don't you?
No.
It was a reaction.
It may or may not have been
a reaction to Slush Puppies.
Oh, Slush Cats.
That's very good.
They're called Slushies now.
No, they're called Frosters. You call them Slushies because you're an old lady. Go get a Slush puppies. Oh, slush cats. That's very good. They're called slushies now. No, they're called frosters.
You call them slushies
because you're an old lady.
Go get a slushie.
Here's 25 bits.
Here's a doubloon.
Here's 25 bits
of yarn
that I've been saving.
25 cents is two bits, right?
I don't know.
Well, how much is a shave
and a haircut?
I don't know. Two stone. Now shave and a haircut? I don't know.
Two stone.
Now, that brings us to the end of the podcast.
Do you have anything you would like to plug?
I do.
In July, I'll be at ZooFest in Montreal.
Fun.
Yeah.
With two other very funny...
Dave's confused. What's the ZooF zoo fest it's part of just for laughs
oh okay and then that's on july 11th and 12th at the catacombs okay you're playing in the yeah
that's uh uh paul f thompkins talked about being like medieval it's like it is pretty cool yeah
yeah do they have like bone is it a bone church do they have
bones yeah and it's all uh mummies hanging out down there just yeah cool yeah yeah cooling off
from the montreal sun right because they are they're so wrapped up i know but then they
oh that would be a good scary romantic comedy but One guy, he's an architect, but then she works at a PR firm, but is also a mummy.
She's also been cursed by a mummy.
Yeah, she wants to have it all, but she also, you know, her nose has been, her brain's been pulled out through her nose.
And her nose has been pulled out through her brain.
Yeah, so she's just got
a head full of sawdust.
And ambition.
What do you call this movie?
I mean,
Oh Mama,
something like that.
Oh Mommy,
Mommy Dearest.
Tombs of Endearment.
A Rom Mom.
A Rom Mom.
It is a real Rom Mom.
Mom. So Zoo Fest. Zoo Fest and then also I'm featuring A rom-mom A rom-mom It is a real rom-mom Mom
Um
So
Zoo Fest
Zoo Fest
And then also
I'm featuring
At Comedy Mix
Um
August 7th to 9th
There you go
Yeah
These are dates
Do you know who you're with?
It was supposed to be Jen Grant
But she
Canceled or something
Just happened
Okay
Yeah
Alright
So
She's riding the wave of...
Fame wave.
Of fame.
The fame wave.
Oh, man.
They could ever get on that wave.
You should be sexually harassed more in the workplace.
I am constantly.
Yeah.
That's true.
I wear slutty things every day.
No, and then people say, you were asking for it, and I was like, yeah, you're right.
No, and then people say, you were asking for it. And I was like, yeah, you're right.
I show up in women's bathrooms hoping that somebody will harass me.
And you know what?
Never happens.
And it's no joke.
It's no joke.
That's true.
Man, oh, man.
That guy, well, that guy made me so goddamn mad.
Listener, Google Jen Grant.
That's all.
Yeah.
You'll find a news story about him. Very funny. Yeah, also Google her comedy. Yeah.er, Google Jen Grant. That's all. Yeah. You'll find a news story
about it.
Very funny.
Yeah, also Google her comedy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
But yeah,
anyway,
she's involved
in an incident
that she handled beautifully.
Mm-hmm.
I wouldn't have.
I would have gone
in the women's bathroom
and screamed.
And where are you
on Twitter? Where can people find you on
online? At Sophie
Buddle. B-U-D-D-L-E.
Yeah. Yeah. Anywhere
else that people need to know about? Websites?
Instagram.com.
Sure. I'm all over that.
Sophie Buddle on there as well? I think
it's Soph Bud. You think? Soph Bud.
Soph Bud or Soph Buds
You don't know
You're a millennial
Yeah yeah
Yeah
Yeah it's
This is your time
It's not before
It's not after
This is it
Sorry guys
Are you on Yik Yak
No I'm not
That yeah
Oh Yik Yak
And
Yeah plugs wise I'll be out In Toronto Uh huh And Winnipeg Uh huh And yeah Plugs wise
I'll be out in
Toronto
And Winnipeg
For the Fringe Festivals
Go to their respective
Fringe Festival websites
I'll be in Montreal
Are we gonna hang?
We'll see
Yeah we're gonna hang
We're both pretty busy
So whatever
We're both leading our lives
And then Edinburgh I'll be all the way overseas.
And I think this is the week.
Are we in the improvaganza this week?
I think that's the week we're in improvaganza.
Yeah.
Edmonton, Alberta.
City of Champions.
Y-E-G, I think is their port code.
Sure.
Yeah, I feel like it is.
Fine.
Fine.
I don't care.
Cookie.
sure yeah
I feel like it is
fine
you're fine
I don't care
cookie
um
and if you like the show
head over to
MaximumFun.org
check out the blog recap
of this episode
Max Milk
had better be in that
yeah
yeah
pictures and videos
of things we've talked about
on the show
picture of that cat
with the hat
Tam O'Shanter
yeah maybe
that she doesn't think exists
oh there's
gotta be i bet on ebay someone's selling an old cup uh what else did we talk about
i feel like there's oh the mummies yeah mummies the bushwhackers sure that saved by the bell with
a woman living in her car you should have a a picture of Fine Noodle on it, too. Yeah. Well, she doesn't consent to
be part of the vlog. Show me a picture
of her. I'm very interested.
She looks a bit like
Abby, actually.
My wife looks
a bit like Abby.
And if you like the show, come
on back and tell your friends.
We'll tell your friends first, then come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself.
Maximumfun.org.
Comedy and culture.
Artist owned.
Listener supported.