Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 383 - Evan Wilson

Episode Date: July 20, 2015

Evan Wilson joins us to talk small town politics, happiness, and Aerosmith video games.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 383 of Stop Podcast Yourself. My name's Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who's four cordials deep, Mr. Dave Shumka. I've got two batches of cordial. Yeah.

Two bottles each. Yep, in the hopper. And by the time this episode is out, I'll be drinking them. Will you have made more? Yeah Okay so it's a perpetual thing over the summer As long as there's rhubarb On the shelves I will be making

You don't make a fall cordial? I guess I could I don't Like a horn of plenty called cordial? What do you drink in the fall? Pumpkin spice lattes Yeah I guess I could make some kind of pumpkin Liqueur in my house See? make some kind of pumpkin liqueur in my house.

See? Some kind of yam liqueur. Some sort of weird. Some sort of turkey liqueur. Yeah, like a maple. Oh, what about a cranberry? Because that's kind of. What about a cranberry?

I don't know. Would a cranberry cordial be good? I don't know. I'm not a big cranberry fan. Okay. I don't like it with my food. Right. I don't like i'm not a big cranberry fan okay i don't like it uh with my my food right i don't like it uh on its own in an ocean spray okay i don't like it uh how do you feel about the band with the cranberries yeah um i really like them yeah but then again i'm a liar is that

their song i don't know i only know Zombie, maybe? Yeah, you know Zombie. You know Linger. Oh, Linger, yeah. You know Dreams. Oh, my. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I definitely know Dreams. Never quite as it seems.

That was the song from Trailers. Oh, yeah, yeah. I remember they played Woodstock 94. It was broadcast on television. Yeah. And they thought that song was a much bigger hit than it was. And they kept like, the singer kept putting the microphone into the audience. Playing at like 11 a.m.

Opening for Candlebox. And our guest today, first time guest on the podcast. He is one of the featured players in an upcoming television show called Cowtown. Mr. Evan Wilson is our guest. Hello, Dave. Hello, Graham. Hello.

Thanks for having me guys. Thanks for coming on the podcast. Oh, I appreciate it. I really, uh, I think we might've talked about this the other night, but I, I asked you if I could come on and I felt as soon as I hit enter on that, I felt like the biggest asshole in the world.

I don't know. I just felt like I was imposing and the world. I don't know. I just felt like I was imposing, and here I am imposing more. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, like, you know, that's how things happen. You got to go out there and get it. Graham books the show, and it's not unusual to be loved by anyone. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But it's not unusual for someone to pitch themselves as a guest. No, not unusual at all. And it's not unusual for you to turn that person down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's not unusual for someone to pitch themselves as a guest. No, not unusual at all. And it's not unusual for you to turn that person down. Yeah, exactly. Or just not get back to them. While smoking a cigar. Ah, forget it, kid. So I hosted a radio show.

Get to know us. Let's get to know us. Get to know us. All right, go ahead Oh, you're the host of I was the host of Am I Right Do you want us to record some Some station IDs for you?

Hey, it's Dave and Graham here Hey, and you're listening to Am I Right Here on TJSW Calgary Meow Alright, I didn't like that one I liked the last part though Keep the cat Okay

Hey, Dave and Graham Partying here in Vancouver We're Sorry we'll take that again Okay Dave and Graham here Kicking it From Vancouver

To Calgary Radical You're listening to Left and Right The Brain Hemisphere Show With Evan and Jesse On

CJSW Rawr Ten more tries That is so good Will you do that show with evan and jesse on cjsw will you do that for all of our markets that we're in okay okay where else are you i think we were on radio laurier in uh waterloo ontario okay all right this is david graham here hey there you five dollar bill loving motherfuckers yeah go buy yourselves a footlong how am i right is it am I right? No, that's close enough. That is close enough. I think that's going to bring in listeners.

How long did you do the radio show for? Oh gee, we did that about five years. Wow. Yeah. But the reason I bring it up, not, you know, I don't mean to get nostalgic or something here, but we used to, we used to have people ask us as well if they wanted to come on the show. I was really bad at saying no, I would not like respond to people for a bit. And then I read a book about, about, uh, it was comedy in Los Angeles in the seventies and eighties.

Right. People getting on Johnny Carson or not. And their line was, I think you're not ready. You know, you might be ready in a couple of years. And that's what I just started saying to people, which I had no business saying to people at all ever that they weren't ready. But it worked. Yeah. People were insulted enough by that.

They'd never ask again. Oh, so instead of being like, yeah, we'll see or something like that by like putting a specific parameter on it. You're not ready. Do another podcast. Yeah. People would maybe be like, Oh, maybe I don't want to be on your dumb show.

Yeah. Yeah. That's a, that is pretty good. I don't want to reach your 1400 listeners. Um, what's, uh,

your standard line? Uh, if what, if I, if I don't want to book somebody. Yeah. I don't think I have one. I think, I think I deal with it. On a case by case basis.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. You just say, Dave says no. Yeah. Or I say, uh, uh, Johnny, uh, Johnny thinks you're not ready. Yeah. Johnny Carson. Yeah. The ghost of Johnny Carson.

Yeah. He's working for us now. Um, I wonder if towards the end of both Johnny Carson and Letterman's show, if that was like, if people were really kind of trying to pile through the door, like, ugh, can I, ugh. Six shows left, I hope I can get on. Yeah, like you really couldn't say not ready at that point. Like in the last two years of the program, you couldn't say, ah, you're not ready.

Come back in a year. Right. Right. It's just not going to happen. Well, what did they say? Like there must've been some people though, like, like did Tom Cruise ask? Did Mel Gibson ask? Like, what do you say to a Mel Gibson?

Oh, what would I say to a Mel Gibson? Hmm. If you were right here, like in a therapy session with me. This is a safe some. Hmm. If you were right here, like in a therapy session, this is a safe space. Yeah. I'd say, I don't, I don't like the way that you yell at me on the phone. Yeah.

I don't know if I want to blow you before the jacuzzi, but thanks for the message. That was the only message I remember about like when, when all those messages he was leaving for his girlfriend came out. Yeah. What was the, it was kind of the same time that Alec Baldwin yelled at his kid. Yeah. On the phone.

But he was allowed on in the last two weeks. Oh, you see. Yeah. But Alec Baldwin didn't do a bunch of anti-Semitic stuff. Yeah. Allegedly. I think, didn't they have it on like a dash cam or something? Mouth gives them like saying all this stuff.

Oh, well there was the one time when he, he got pulled over and called the cop sugar tits. He did not, did he? Yes, he did. Oh wow.

So what you're saying is he has good stories for panel. He does. That would be good. That would be a good story. Do you know what would be a good last guest for Jay Leno? Because remember Bobcat Goldthwait lit his set on fire? Yeah. That would have been a good last ever guest.

Who was his last guest? It was just a mirror, and he just said a bunch of affirmations. It was a jalopy. Yeah, he interviewed Archie and the Riverdale gang and their jalopy. I don't know who his last guest is. I'm pretty sure nobody I know knows who Jay Leno's last guest was. Did he have a last guest? Well, there would have been somebody who was the last.

Well, I guess they've had a last show. Yeah. Well, he's had two last shows because he came back to The Tonight Show after he left The Tonight Show. Oh, yeah. I wonder who was the last guest before he went to the,

oh, that 10 p.m. show. It was a good show. It was good. I liked the car racing at the end. That was my favorite part. Yeah. I liked when he was

the marriage ref. Is that a different show? Oh, man. Um, so tell us a bit about this, uh, uh, television show.

Oh, the television show. It's called Cowtown. Yeah. Or Cowtown comedy. Uh, I think it's still being worked out. Yeah.

Cowtown is better. It's the Facebook. Yeah. You know, it's cool. A million. A million cows. A million heads of cattle.

But it is, it's going to be on the TELUS cable network. Okay. And basically it was pitched as Calgary. Yeah. No, sorry. I got that backwards. Wait, no, it was pitched to me. So I got to think of it in the reverse of how it went out it was pitched as

portlandia in calgary okay cow town being the diminutive i guess of calgary right like the nickname that some people call it yeah yeah everybody do they yeah yeah yeah out here in vancouver is that the oh god i I'm heading down to Cowtown this weekend. Gonna lick me some cows. Oh, you're going for Stampede. We've got, yeah, Cowtown, we call Edmonton Championsville. City of Champions. In the city.

City of Championsville. In the wood, always have to know good. Yeah. Oh, wait, that's in Calgary. So, it's like- It's to know good. Yeah. Oh wait, that's in Calgary. Um, so it's like. It's a sketch, sketch show. Yeah. Uh, pitched as a sketch show about Calgary, lots of Calgary booster, uh, support there.

Right. But. For everyone. It didn't, it didn't, it didn't quite turn out quite as Calgary based as, uh, they might've wanted it to. Like it clearly takes place in Calgary, but it turns out when you get a bunch of people writing about what, you know, something that's Calgary based, it doesn't like nobody can agree on what

Calgary based means. So it takes place in Calgary and you can see some of our famous landmarks, like the Calgary tower, the saddle dome. All those streets that are calleds. Yeah. The Calgary Tower. Uh-huh. The Saddle Dome. The Saddle Dome. Sure. All those streets that are called trails. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

You can see the trails. You can see, what else is famous about the Olympics? The plus 15s. You can see some Olympics. Yeah. Plus 15s. Do you have any sketches that take place in a plus 15? No, because I don't think we could afford to film in a plus 15.

Oh, we can do a plus five. We can do a plus 30 that no one uses for people not from calgary a plus 15 is like a passageway between buildings yeah yeah that's 15 feet up in the air is that it i think that's originally where it came from are 15 meters or no i think it's 15 feet 15 meters would 15 feet is like you could make like maybe it is 15 meters yeah it might be 15 meters. Could you have a super athletic guy jump and touch the bottom of it?

Trying to think. Do you think that, oh yeah, could a guy jump 15 feet? Maybe LeBron James. Oh yeah. Our jumpiest guy. Let's get him to Calgary. Settle this once and for all. So, TELUS is, wait, so TELUS is a phone company.

But they're a cable company. Ah, so we are going to be on demand. If you can't find a movie that night, you're going to watch one of six episodes of cow town. You can't watch all six. Well, you know, you can, well, I hope you would want to watch all six, but you would pick one. You'd pick one. Probably not the pilot. Cause the pilots are always tough.

Maybe our pilot is maybe our pilot is our pilot is so good but is it too good though where the rest of the series can't follow it i'll uh have you ever known a show like that yeah like uh wasn't the pilot of loss like one of the best ever pilots and then kind of the show didn't really well the whole first season was pretty good yeah and like the pilot of, uh, last man on earth was like the best thing ever. And then the next episodes were kind of like funny,

but not as good as the pilot. So there you go. Yeah. Yeah. That's true. No, I think they're all equally as great. That will be kind of how that will.

All right. That will fall out. Um, but yeah, so people can watch on tell, I think it'll make it to British Columbia. You guys have TELUS cable here, right? Some people do.

Yeah. Yeah, exactly. I think they just finished building a giant, very odd building downtown that it is the weirdest looking building. Why? What does it look like? It's all glass, but there's like certain floors

that are like just jutted out yeah and then uh there's kind of midway through it looks like they might have a forest inside somehow i don't know i don't know what the building's going to be used for or if it was just a it's a statement earth too it's gonna be some kind of high rise biodome. Um, uh, so like they don't think that it's Calgary enough. Well, no, no, no. I just mean that it turns out we, it's, it's totally Calgary. Okay.

It is so Calgary. It'll make you puke, but it's accessible to people not from Calgary as well. Okay. You don't have to know Calgary. There's the mayor said no to appearing in any of our sketches. Oh, good. So we don't have to worry about like, you know, putting the mayor in there. Sure. None of the Calgary flames would come.

Who's the biggest celebrity you got to make a cameo? Lanny McDonald? Andrew Funk. Oh, that was off. That was off, Mike. Well, no, we got a, we got a mayor Nenshi impersonator to, to come on the show. That's a thing.

That's a thing. We put a call out on Craigslist or, uh, sorry, Kijiji and said, we're looking for someone who, who feels they look like mayor Nenshi. And this guy showed up and I guess he goes to parties as mayor Nenshi. What? And then the thing is.

Good party. We used him. Good party last night guysenshi. What? And then the thing is. Good party. We used him. Great party last night, guys. Well, it's him or the Don Cherry. Oh yeah. Yeah. There's a guy who drives around with a, he's got a, he's in a minivan with a picture of Don Cherry on the side.

Uh-huh. And he's like, Calgary's finest, Don Cherry lookalike as a deckle. And then he steps out and he's just a guy with a white goatee. Well. And that's it. Sounds pretty good. But he's a a guy with a white goatee. Well, and that's it. Sounds pretty good. But he's a black guy with a white goatee. And he just wears muscle shirts.

It's actually Danny Glover. He was in town for Fargo. He had to do it. So, um. So, so Nenshi couldn't. So this guy. Couldn't do it. This guy was scanning Kijiji looking for gigs.

Yeah. Well, he probably has a Kijiji alert. What's that? Mayor Nenshi alike. But see the first, the first thing was written into the first episode and we contacted the mayor's office and he said no. And it was a kind of a respectable sketch. Yeah. That just featured the mayor in a cameo.

And then we realized that we had the, we had someone that looked like the mayor and we can make the mayor do anything we wanted him to do now. There was no need to be respectful of his image or anything like that. Right. And then I happened to bump into the mayor's communication person. Right.

Downtown. And I was like, hey, I'm like. The mayor is a deaf mute, if no one knows. So he's got one guy who does all the talking. He's got a dog that follows him or shows him where to go. But I talk to this guy and I said, hey, you know, he's like, sorry, he just was too busy to make it. You know, thanks for asking.

No hard feelings. I was like, hey, look, it doesn't matter. We've got a guy who will do anything as the mayor right now for like 200 bucks. And then he's like, oh, okay. And then a week later he called and he's like like so any chance we can get the mayor on the show No way A little bit less formally then So what is the

Does the mayor break dance or what does he do Oh you're just going to have to tune in Did you bring a clip Yeah let's throw to a clip I don't think it's ready Alright here we go I'm the mayor what is that a sheet cake is david graham partying in vancouver you're listening to how i

write it's a writer's workshop where i write yeah on cds though where i write that's like on the cbc morning show oh yeah yeah i think that's a segment on that now for where i write i'm at a desk back to you so are you you're not originally from uh calgary from out east i'm from cape breton nova scotia yeah yeah and um do you there ever? Who's the mayor of that town? Oh, geez. Who is the, uh, Robert Small. Hmm.

Mayor Robert Small. Good poll. Yeah. Yeah. Well done. He did just look around the room and saw a picture of. Robert Small. Yeah.

He's, he's the longtime mayor. He keeps beating George Baker. Oh, is that like Every No that's He just beats the shit Out of this guy That's one of his Slap words Yeah

Alright Another Terminoph Has come downtown And wants to be Beat the shit Out of George Baker George being a dick again

Vote small George Baker's The guy that runs the french fry stand At the Amherst rink Oh don't He's as folksy as fuck So every year he runs against the incumbent And he always loses is that I think that's how I remember it

But is he ever a contender Like do people want fry guy to win Well he keeps I think he keeps winning To be a town councillor Like I think he keeps winning to be a town counselor. Like I think he runs for mayor and counselor at the same time. So people like him enough for one seat, but just not enough for the other one. But he, uh, he's a counselor, but he also still has to run the Fry situation. I don't think it's, it's not a full time.

It's a town of like 8,000 people. Oh, so just like once a week. I guess. I don't know how much they they meet um but it's not often they got to have a side gig yeah yeah but it's a they love their fries out there yeah it seems like it would be the perfect place to you know get in touch with the voters with the fry place yeah yeah yeah everybody knows what's going on right there right your platform and ketchup on a napkin. Yeah.

Vote for me. But see the, the genius of having a fry place at the rink, it's the Amherst Stadium it's called, but it's just a rink. Yeah. It's got a walking track. It's got the Amherst Ramblers Junior A hockey team. All right.

It's got a skateboard, it's got a skateboard track outside. And then also. Wait, wait a minute. Not a skateboard track, a skateboard park. Okay got a skateboard track outside. And then also. Wait, wait a minute. Not a skateboard track, a skateboard park. Okay. Skate park. Like for speed.

Yeah, yeah. Skateboard figure eight loop to loop. It's for long boards. Yeah. Not like a competitive speed skateboarding event. Snowboarding is in the winter Olympics now. Is there any skateboarding in the summer? No, I don't think so.

They could do like a speed skateboarding. Yeah. Skateboarding would be the Winter Olympics now. Is there any skateboarding in the summer? No, I don't think so. They could do like a speed skateboarding. Yeah. Skateboarding would be, that's fine. Yeah. I don't know. When I think summer sports, I think judo. Yeah. Judo, wrestling, indoor sports.

That's because it's too hot to go outside. Yeah, but they should make them wrestle outside. Right? On the beach, man. Make them wrestle George Baker. He greases himself up with fry grease. So, uh, so he gets like huge amounts of traffic as the fry guy. He gets so much traffic.

And then there's also like, there's, um, there's people in trucks that, that, that park and live in the parking lot as well. Wow. This is like, this is the hotspot. It's the hub. It's that and the Tim Hortons are the two big hubs of Amherst. So. Pretty good. It's a good life there.

How long, uh, did you live there before you moved to Calgary? Did you like grow up, like born and raised in Cape Breton? I was, yeah, I was born and raised in Cape Breton, then moved to Amherst when I was in high school. And then, yeah, that was all over the Maritimes, those two cities growing up. Did you ever learn to play the fiddle? No. Ah. No.

Was there pressure too? No, there was none because nobody wants to hear someone learn to play the fiddle. Yeah, that's true. Even a good fiddler sounds like they're just learning. Yeah. Yeah. We had neighbors. they're just learning. Yeah. Yeah. We had neighbors. They're just learning real fast.

You had neighbors that played the bagpipes. There was two separate neighbors who played the bagpipes. I'd move. I'd move. Yeah, well, that wasn't in my control at that point. Mom, dad. Let's move or kill our Dad. Let's move. Or kill our neighbors.

Let's buy their house so they have to move. Make them an offer. Force them to sell us their house. Then we demolish it. That must have been horrible. Were they good at bagpipes? How can you tell?

You can't tell. They knew the one song. Yeah. The kind of... knew the one song. Yeah. The kind of. The Cranberries song. Was it Korn? That was the rock band that had a. Oh yeah, they did have a.

Bagpipe song. A bit of bagpipe in there. And he wore like an Adidas kilt. Yeah. Is that right? Yeah. And he had a crazy microphone. What was the crazy microphone?

This microphone was like designed by Todd McFarlane. It was. Yeah. what was the crazy microphone microphone was like designed by todd mcfarlane it was yeah but also didn't he have one that was designed by the guy that made uh oh geiger yeah yeah maybe he had a geiger mic yeah yeah it was all like weird alien-y shape oh yeah maybe oh yeah yeah i don't know if he had both or i was just wrong about the first one i'm now i'm trying to think what some of the best rock and roll microphones. Oh, I can name that one. Well, I remember that Steven Tyler used to have a microphone that the base was a steering wheel. Did you say babushkas all over them? Yeah.

Scarves. Scarves. He didn't put a Russian head wrap on it. That's what they looked like. Yeah, but he was a famous... He's a scarfman. That's an identifiable microphone. And then Prince had that one that looked like a gun.

It was like a golden gun microphone. So this is pretty good. Oh, this is a great idea for a listicle. Oh, yeah. Yeah, the coolest microphone. This is a pretty good. Oh, this is a great idea for a listicle. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, the coolest microphone. I feel like Kesha probably has like a cool one that she used.

Anyways. When do you think you make the decision to change to it? Because you're really committing to something. You're laying out your money to do a cool microphone. Yeah. And that's going to be identified with you for life, right? So when do you decide that you are larger than life enough? Well, and then also when you're on the other side of that and you're not playing in big places that cater to you anymore,

do you have to cart around your crazy microphone, your signature mic? Well, it's what the people are paying to see. The six people are now paying to see your weird microphone. Or like if the corn guy leaves corn, does he own the microphone or does corn own the microphone? Oh, yeah. That's going to be a bad breakup. Right? It's like the drummer in CCR, right?

John Fogerty doesn't own him anymore. Right. He's CCR now. And John Fogerty is just John Fogerty, right? That's right. Same with the guess who. Right. Yeah. CCR now. And John Fogarty is just John Fogarty, right? That's right. Same with the Guess Who. Right. Yeah.

Oh, what? So the drummer owned CCR? So CCR came to the Calgary Folk Music Festival a couple years ago. But it was just the drummer and the bass player. And everybody's like, oh, this is so awesome. And they just did the drum and bass line from every song? Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And they have people sing.

And they have the people sing. It's like karaoke facing the audience. Do more of a crazy Bayou sound in your voice. So they, those two guys are CCR and then John Fogarty is just like. John Fogarty. I think the Beach Boys were the same way. I think Mike Love was the Beach Boys and Brian Wilson was just. Brian Wilson.

Oh, wow. It was just Mike Love, maybe Al Jardine. There might've been Al Wilson. John Stamos for sure. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's one of the weirdest things. What?

That John Stamos was like somehow connected to the Beach Boys. And then they were on Full House a lot. Yeah, well, Dave Coulier was in Jan and Dean. Bob Saget was in The Ventures. All your major surf fans. He's the guy that brought cursing to the Ventures. Yeah, yeah. Like, you know, I play a nice guy, but C word, C word, P word.

A good pulse on the surf bands. I know, it was a real struggle. Were the Ventures, like, instrumental? Yeah, I think so. Did they wipe out? Was that wipe out? I think Ventures were Run, Don't Walk. I think that was there.

Can you hum a few bars? Oh, my. There it is. Never quite as it seems. You're a dream to me Um Um Um

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Uh, he has a kid now. Uh, and his kid is like, he's just old enough to be excited to have people around. How old is that? He's like, he's six, I think. Okay. You know, like he, he remembers. When do you lose that? There's a very brief period it was about 45 minutes

after i got there but we watched uh he was really excited to watch despicable me okay for the first time no for the hundredth time yeah yeah uh and then i don't know if you guys have seen despicable me but there's a scene where they show the moon landing. Right. And my cousin stops the movie and he goes, you know, that's not real, right? Wow. It's like. What part? I was like, yeah, it's a movie. Of course.

He goes, no, they never landed on the moon. This is your cousin or your cousin's kid? This is my cousin. Oh, okay. I thought your cousin's kid was like. Yeah, that's what I thought. No, no, no. Well, eventually if my cousin keeps saying that. Jeez, that's what I thought. No, no, no. Well, eventually, if my cousin keeps saying that.

Jeez, that's great. He's like, where did they put the camera? Like, how did they have a camera on the moon? And why is the flag upright? Because there's no wind on the moon. Well, no, they just made it flat. They knew how it would be. And his son was just like, dad, stop it.

Oh, really? Every time they watch that movie The dad reminds him Son, have you seen Capricorn 6? Yeah Have you seen that Shining documentary? What was that one called? Room 227?

Oh yeah It was the Shining documentary with Jack A. And that was one of the theories that Stanley Kubrick filmed the moon landing. Yeah, and that's why the kid has an Apollo

creed. The rumor is that Stanley Kubrick directed Rocky IV. Where Apollo dies. I like a rumor like that. And he won't apologize. Yeah, I don't understand. I've heard a lot of the arguments for they didn't land on the moon.

But I don't. I'm really, I'm a big fan of when Buzz Aldrin punched that guy Yeah, that was great But what is the key argument? That the shadows Are wrong or something? His whole thing was Where was, and I was like There's a camera on the space shuttle Or the ship or whatever, I'm sure

And he goes, you think it would Last all the way to the moon? What? Well it did We have videos from the moon. What? Well it did. We have videos from the moon. Didn't the whole shuttle last all the way to the moon? Yeah. I know, but I don't, I'm not sure what the camera was on the outside for the whole trip.

Yeah. Like going up through the atmosphere. Uh, we should have put the camera inside. We should have put it in a camera case. Do we have one of those waterproof cases at NASA? But like, didn't they get out of the thing and set up the camera and then go back

in and do the walkout? Isn't that the official story? I honestly don't know. No, neither do I. Like, I know that one guy didn't, there were three of them. There was a guy who had to stay up in orbit Right How did they get down from there?

Did they jump? Did they get Was it a plus 15? They had a rope They got LeBron James They got a rope A rope ladder Yeah yeah rope

Yeah yeah Come on They're not idiots Floating every which way Oh we did not think this through Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on, they're not idiots. Floating every which way. Oh, we did not think this through. Look, we are not the right people to refute this. No, that's true.

Actually, if I got in an argument with a guy, he'd have all the evidence. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're the right sheeple to argue this. What's more plausible, that the moon landing was fake or that 9-11 was fake? Well, it was fake. I think even he's arguing that. What do you mean?

Wasn't that the argument? Like 9-11 never even happened, man. But where were the cameras? Yeah, the cameras would have burned up. I don't know. I, cause I don't, ah, the, the moon landing one is all about, from what I understand, it's all about shadows and that the shadows are cast the wrong way. But I, but you're also on the moon. Yeah.

So I don't know which way shadows go on the moon, you see. So, so wait, they're the wrong way based on where the sun was supposed to be on that yeah they're like see this that's like a shadow that shouldn't be there or whatever but see that's for me that's where the whole stanley kubrick directing the moon landing falls apart because he would know yeah that's you think stanley kubrick doesn't do his homework and would mess that up? That's a good call. I don't think so. Yeah, like if the argument was, oh, it was some guy from the Pentagon who never directed a movie before. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But they have since directed many successful films.

Mostly made for TV movies. But like, yeah, and also if it's Stanley Kubrick, where are the 40 takes earlier? When you got Neil Armstrong to cry. Oh, yeah, you can see like way off in the distance. There's like a PA with a cup of coffee. They're like, see, that wouldn't have been on the moon. The boom mic dips in. Why do they have boom mics?

Who put the boom mic there? Oh, man. Who put the boom mic in the boom, shaboom, shaboom? Bob Saget. Bob Saget right there. Jodie Sweetin on bass. Well, the three of them did sing that Teddy Bear song. Oh, they were pretty good, too.

Yeah. They could have. They were a real barbershop triplet if that show was like you know like one step more popular they would have released that as a single if they had itunes back then yeah i think it was a technology problem not a popularity problem like they were like we can't we can't make an album of jesse oh yeah oh absolutely like glee put a thousand like glee has like more charting songs than the beatles now well the gliedles draw your own conclusions from that yeah oh god i hope they redo uh full house me too or at least make a sequel series

yeah yeah or both yeah i hope they bring back everyone except the Olsen twins. Oh. That's what they're doing. Oh. But they don't, the funny thing is they only need one now. They don't need the seven. Oh, yeah, that's true. Yeah.

Unless that's still, that contract is like forever. No, no, Olsen twins are like Pokemon. You got to catch them all. Well, the question is, would they bring back the less popular twins that were oh jesse's kids but they had to get quadruplets to play those kids they had octuplets yeah they had octomom um yeah because those kids didn't take as a you know as a cultural phenomenon. Do you think that when the Olsen twins got super famous, though, they went to those kids' doors to try to make them just as famous?

No. Were there sharks out there to do that? No, they thought, the producers were like, we had one cute kid. Uh-huh. Double your kid. Ratings are plummeting. Yeah. And in the last seasons, the kids would only be in the cold open.

Then they would never be in the rest of the show. I feel like they, that Full House maybe did every like jump the shark maneuver available. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Like introduce a nutty neighbor, Kimmy Gibbler. Yeah. Introduce new babies. Yeah. Pregnancy. Dog. Pregnancy scare. Yeah. Introduce new babies. Yeah. Pregnancy.

Dog. Pregnancy scare. Yeah. Beach Boys. Beach Boys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ted McGinley joined. It was briefly Danny.

Introducing Ted McGinley. They had a puppet. Oh, that's right. Oh, yeah, they did have a puppet. Is that what that was? Ranger Joe. Ranger Joe and Woodchuck. And he had so many jobs.

Mm-hmm. He started as a stand-up comedian, then somehow got into advertising. Yep. And then he was- When they made the jingle for Casa de Pancakes that DJ recorded over with Kimmy. They recorded their version of the locomotion. And then they started hosting a radio show with Jesse

in the basement. But before that... Do we want to do some station IDs for Jesse and Joey in the afternoon? Hey, this is Graham and Dave. You're listening to Jesse and Joey

in the afternoon. Meow. Bra. See you at the Smash Club. Bra. Yeah, and then Jesse owned the Shmoosh Club. The Shmoosh Club. And then... Wait, what owned the Schmoosh Club. The Schmoosh Club.

And then... Wait, what's the Schmoosh Club? The Schmoosh Club was where all the bands played in San Francisco. See. But it was an all-ages place. It was a place for teenagers

to hang out after the game. Who is this character? Hang out after school. It's an all-ages show. It's the guy who pronounced the Smash Club as Schmoosh Club. Pretty good. And then Joey was Professor Egghead on a kid's show.

And Jesse was his band leader. And then Joey was in another kid's show. Was that Ranger Joe with Jesse? And then I feel like then there was a big gap where it was like joey just was like unemployed he just didn't have a job but i guess he did live in his friend's basement yeah he wasn't technically anyone's uncle no that's true yeah there was a point where everybody else like teamed up you know got a got some sort mate. I think he got a girlfriend at one point, but no one was ever spending the night. He wanted to be a good example for all the kids in the house.

I know, but be realistic. And to balance out John Stamos' character who's fucking skanks every night. That's true. That's like the line in the casting description for him. He's looking for a young man to fuck skanks every night. Must look like the line in the casting description for him Looking for a young man to fuck skanks Every night Must look like the mayor Oh man

Dave what's going on with you? This is Well it's not really going on with me But I see it in a lot of people's Instagram feeds Oh yeah And in Vancouver, at the Museum of Vancouver, it might be over now, there's

an Austrian artist, Stefan Schagmeister. Yeah. He plays at the Swoosh Club. He plays at Swoosh. And he, I think it's called the Happy Show. Oh, yeah. Did you go to it? No. But I've seen a lot of people posting it, and the big exhibit that everyone takes a picture of are these gumball machines and they're

all filled with yellow gumballs and uh uh there's 10 of them from 1 to 10 numbered and you are supposed to take one gumball from how happy you are out of 10. Oh. So if you're medium happy, you're a five or a six. And then you can see how many gumballs are missing from the machines. Ah. Fun. And sort of gauge the overall happiness of people. And I was, when I first saw them, it had just started, and it was mostly sixes and sevens.

And I was like, I'm happier than that. You think you're happier than a seven? I think I'm a nine. Wow. You're like Pharrell. Guys, I don't mean to brag, but I'm a nine on a happy scale. How happy are you? Oh, not that happy.

I don't know. I think I'd be three, probably. Yeah. I think I'm on the shallow end of that pool. Evan? Right now? No, I'd say. In your life.

In my life. Oh, I probably trend towards seven or an eight. That's pretty good. The later in the day it is, the higher it would be probably. Oh, really? Yeah. You start out low and then as the day goes on. As the day goes on, as it kind goes on, it kind of picks up steam.

I pick up steam. Ah, because a lot of people reverse-o. They lose steam over the course of the day. Well, they're doing it wrong. Give me steam. Yeah, no, Peter Gabriel, he's full tilt ahead. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a 10.

I thought, based on those pictures, that whichever one you went to, it gave you that number of gumballs. Dave, were you feeling like, were you judging people or feeling sorry for them based on what gumball they were getting? No, I was like, well, I'm not going to go to this dumb thing, but I can participate virtually. And I also think it's probably skewed because now it's, most of them are nines. Most people have taken nine.

Okay. So most people are generally happy? Yeah. And I get, but it's also skewed a bit by like, who's going to go to a, an art show if they're a one. Hey, yeah. I think it might be more ones that would go though. Yeah. Hoping.

I don't think a one doesn't get out of bed. Oh yeah. I guess that's true. Yeah. One. Why are you a three. I don't think a one doesn't get out of bed. Oh, yeah. I guess that's true. Yeah. One. Why are you a three? I don't know. I don't think.

I think I'm a generally. I think we can get. I want to get you. Get up? Yeah. I think I need some more gumballs. I think that's it. I ain't got no gumballs.

It works reverse. If you do the one, they give you nine gumballs. Oh. Right? Then all of a sudden you're happier. Look at all these gumballs I got. What can we do to make you happier? I don't know.

You know, I think I just tend towards I'm a bit of a negative Nelly. I think, but listening to the show, I think people would think I'm the unhappy one. Yeah. I was shocked to hear nine for you, Dave. Thanks. No, but knowing Dave. I'm not showy about it.

Yeah, and you do. You have a generally pretty bright outlook, I think. Yeah. Yeah. Like, in general, I would say that that's the case. Yeah. I am like a bad guy who's winning. You're like despicable me.

I'm despicable that guy. Yeah. You're Hans Gruber? Is that... Yes. Happy Hans Gruber? Is that? Yes. Happy Hans Gruber. That's who I am. The happiest terrorist alive.

Happy Hans Gruber actually sells cars. Oh yeah. Yeah. He's crazy. Partners with George Baker. Um, I know I'm serious. The three, you saying three is a concern to me. Oh, I think, you know what I need to do?

I need to get, you know, I need to get out more. I got to get, uh, cause you know, like, uh. Mix it up. I got to mix it up. I got to get out more. I got to exercise. Yeah. I definitely got to start exercising.

That's like, you know, it's not going to happen, but I definitely am saying that it should happen. You're aware. You know what you should do? You should just start telling yourself it you know what, I'm not going to exercise. Because if you tell yourself you're going to exercise and don't, you start feeling guilty. It starts weighing on you. So if I go low and then I get over the...

If you say, you know what, I'm just going to be, like, I'm going to do my thing. And you walk six blocks. You're like, I feel great. There are always, like, studies of the happiest people are blank or like this. I thought you were going to say the happiest people are blind. Maybe. Could be.

Um. Blinds do have more fun. Like there's always. Yeah. That's the bumpers thing. I saw. Um, I, like, I feel like there's always a study on. We, uh, people from this region are more

happy or people with this job are more happy or people, people with like, not the most amount of money, but like the third most amount of money are happiest. Yeah. I bet you having the most amount of money is super stressful, but having like a lot of money, but not so much that it attracts like kidnappers give me back my son do you think like kidnappers that would kidnap you or people that would kidnap your family you want enough money to swim in but not enough to drown ah exactly there's the shirt um yeah i don't know uh yeah like isn't canada routinely is at the top of our routine yeah it's like at the top of the happiness index in the world like canada and like

sweden maybe the kind of the nordic countries always seem to have like a high i'm gonna well i i feel like the nordic countries also have super high suicide rates yeah that's true they also love like death metal i love burning churches maybe that's what you need to do more burn a church more churches yeah i guess i don't burn any right now yeah according to uh this switzerland tops the list followed by iceland denmark iceland uh norway canada finland the netherlands and sweden yeah all your places that are like have super cold kind of depressing winters great metal scenes great metal scenes all of them yeah uh you know good place to get fish quality fish the u.s is

ranked 15th behind mexico so there's something you can learn. Right. Now who should put up a fence? I can't believe that that's still a thing that people say, like, as part of their platform. Let's build a fence. Like, I would understand it in the times when China just put up their wall and they're like, we're do one too you know but come on yeah but that went through china yeah so they were just keeping themselves out well they were keeping out they just wanted somewhere to put up pictures put up put up their lamborghini posters oh that would be the best to To go to China, put up a Lamborghini poster on the Great Wall of China.

What else does a wall do? It's not supporting a roof. Yeah, throw a ball against it. Yeah. Those poster sales from university just set up every kilometer. Yeah. Yeah. What are those called?

Imaginists? Yeah. Oh, man. They were the scholastic of posters.? Yeah. Oh, man. They were the Scholastic of posters. Good stuff. Oh, yeah. I had to sell so many bake sales. Graham, what's up with you?

This past week, my brother, Patrick, was in town. I thought you were going to say, my brother passed away. Well, that explains the three. How long was he in town? I didn't see him. He was only here for two days.

He was going to a concert. I can't remember who. But they had a cool microphone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was just the microphone. And so we had like an afternoon where he was kind of kicking around and uh he's been to vancouver a bunch so he's seen all the things like stanley park and you know the i don't know if he's seen the capilano suspension bridge but we weren't gonna go all the way over there but what he did

see on granville street that he was like we gotta do this, is there was an arcade on Granville Street that I don't think I've been in since maybe like I first moved here. And I've lived here my whole life, and I've never been to one of those arcades. Never? No. It's the last one in Vancouver, according to the guy. Because you have to be an adult.

Yeah. And I never have gone to an arcade as an adult. Oh, man. Do they serve booze? Is that why you got to be an adult? No. Are there peep shows? Yeah, there's peep shows in the back. Oh, man. Do they serve booze? Is that why you got to be an adult? Nope. Are there peep shows?

Yeah, there's peep shows in the back. Oh, that's what they mean by arcade. No, like there was also games. Like I didn't go to a peep show with my brother. Or do that. Are there really peep shows? And what's a peep show? It's just you go in, I think, and you put a quarter in and then it plays a bit of a porno movie. Oh, okay.

It's not like there's a couple behind glass. Oh, man. If there were, they were so bored. It was just the two of us in there playing video games. So we, and it was all, like, it was not any newfangled games. It was all pretty much older games. And so we played. Do they make new arcade games?

I think arcade games are still really popular in Japan. Oh, yeah. They still make like dance games and like singing games. Like guitar. Yeah, yeah. Stuff like that. But this didn't have any of that. Didn't have anything new.

Japan is so futuristic. It's like 2006 here. Didn't have anything new. Japan is so futuristic. It's like 2006 here. They're already on like retro gaming from 2050. Yeah. Yeah.

So we played like there was like the Terminator 2 game that had like the machine guns. Sure. And I played a couple of driving games. And then we found a game that I did not know existed that was an Aerosmith game. Oh, Revolution X. Yes! Revolution X. I do not know this game. I knew another

Aerosmith game that you had on my computer for CD-ROM. Really? Go ahead. Tell me about Revolution X. Revolution X, we spent about I think like $15 worth of quarters on it.

Just because we wanted to know what happens next in the game. And this was what era? Well, you know when Aerosmith had their comeback in the 90s? Get a Grip. Yeah, it was the Get a Grip era. I think 1996 was the thing on the games. So was there stuff out of like the videos?

No, it was. Or did you have to like pierce and utter? In a dystopian future. Where there is an Aerosmith. Yeah. Yeah. The new, was it the new, the new Order Nation has taken over the world and they don't like music. Oh, brother.

So the first level you go, you're like shooting just robot guys, I guess. And then you go into a club that Aerosmith is playing in and they're just playing Eat the Rich. That's the only song that's played in the video game. And then they get kidnapped by the New Order Nation. Because they have too much money. Yep. Right? Yeah. Exactly.

Once you get Aerosmith money. Yeah, it's true. It's hard to ransom yourself. And then you kind of don't know what you're supposed to do in the game. And then you go into their dressing room and there's a recording from Steven Tyler. It says, hey, you got to find our car. Aerosmith's car. And he says, remember, music is the weapon.

And we were like, what does that mean? And so we kept playing and playing and he says remember music is the weapon and we were like what does that mean and uh so we kept playing and playing and playing and then we did we were losing a lot and then we discovered a button on the gun that when you pressed it uh you shot cds so he was like oh music is literally the way So you're supposed to save Aerosmith? I don't know, because we went, we found Aerosmith's car, and then when you get in Aerosmith's car, there's a video message from the drummer. Oh, cool.

Who identifies himself as the drummer. I'm the drummer from Aerosmith. And he's got drumsticks in his hand, just in case you're like, oh, okay. And the car that you get in is a Lamborghini. They can't all fit in that car. The drummer goes in the trunk. Yeah. And then you go to, it says you can go to three,

you can go to the Amazon rainforest, you can go to the Middle East, or you can go to Rome. In a Lamborghini? Yeah, I know. And then you go and there's like a slave labor camp. That's all girls in bikinis and cutoff shorts, smashing televisions. And then there's no bad ideas guys.

Also, this is due today. And then you shoot CDs at a bus that contains prisoners. And that's when we quit. That's when we ran out of our $15. How much was left? Did you go online to do like a walkthrough? Yeah, we hit all the high watermarks.

Yeah. Like we got as far as you needed to. The last thing that happens is you see Aerosmith play. Or no, you get to hang you see Aerosmith play, or no, you get to hang out with Aerosmith backstage in the show. I had this game

and it was, it was for the CD-ROM and it was before, like, USB stuff. Yeah. So, it was a music game

and it came with a guitar pick that had a wire on it that was like, what do you call a parallel port the kind you plug your old printer oh yeah and uh then you had to like play along just your right hand and two aerosmith songs but they were like don't use a guitar because it works better with a tennis racket so you had to have a tennis racket on your lap with this giant purple guitar pick

that's hardwired to your computer that also doesn't work. Did it come with a tennis racket or did you have to buy it? You had to previously own a tennis racket. It was intended for idiots.

Well, Aerosmith fans who also belong to a sports racket. So it was, it was intended for idiots. Well, Aerosmith fans who also belong to a sports club. Could you use a squash racket? Yes. Surely there was

some meeting where they had to approve this video game and say like, well, they approved that one. Yeah, but it was sweet.

There was like chicks and bikinis. Yeah, that's true. I'm sure there were chicks and bikinis in the one I had, too. You just never got that far? No, because the thing didn't work.

They're like, use a better racket. Yeah. What is that, a prince? Yeah, so anyways, I played that game. Was it a two-player game? Yeah. Yeah, it was two guns. And you just shot. Is it first person?

Yeah, first person. And then there's a yellow button on the gun that shoots CDs. Did the gun look like it would fit a CD or was it just like a. Yeah, it was weird shaped. Yeah. Yeah. So it wasn't like a regular looking gun. So that should have been our first clue that it was, you know what I mean?

Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Was the game like crazy or amazing or were you crying? Were you living on the edge? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Pink. Yeah. It's, I don't know. Like it's weird I don't know, like, it's weird. They must have just, like, people just must have been shoveling just money at them. Left, right, and center, like. And they were like, yeah, do anything. Yeah, but you can only use one song, Eat the Rich.

Oh, yeah, and I had that song stuck in my head for, like, two days afterwards because it just was on a loop. Was it the full version of Eat the Rich? Yeah. Or was it? Oh, yeah. So because it just was on a loop. Was it the full version of Eat the Rich or was it? Oh yeah. So at least there was some variety there. You got the bridge, you got the solo, you got the verse, the chorus.

A lot of bands would only let the chorus. Oh yeah and then when you were about to die and it had the continue countdown Steve and Tyler said don't give up! What song is that from? It's a Peter Gabriel song with Kate Bush. Oh man, do you want to move on to Overheard?

Yeah. Yay! Hi everybody, I'm Justin McElroy. And I'm Dr. Sydney McElroy. Every Tuesday we bring you Sawbones, a marital tour of misguided medicine, a show about all the dumb, weird, terrible ways that we've tried to fix each other over the years. You know, some light summer listening.

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123 iTunes Street or wherever you download podcasts. Overheard. Overheard. A segment where we hear things and then relate them back here on the podcast. And we always like to start with the guests. Yeah, sure. All right. Sure you do.

I'm, you know, I'm going to go back. This is a, this is an older one. Sure. I think all of the ones I've had recently, I've actually called into the show. Have they made it on? Some of them have. Yeah. Yeah. I've definitely heard your voice show. Have they made it on? Some of them have. Yeah.

Yeah. I've definitely heard your voice before. Yeah. But this is one, this was, I was riding the bus, uh, between, uh, it was, it was between Brampton, Ontario and Hamilton, Ontario. Ooh. Good bus ride. Oh yeah.

On the Greyhound. Oh no, it was on the go bus, I believe. And I was, this was, this was, uh, I was riding on the bus and, believe and i was this was this was uh i was riding on the bus and uh there was this person talking on a cell phone in front of me and uh this was both this is when nobody really had cell phones so it was like this person was bragging they were on cell phone guess where i'm calling you from maybe she didn't have a cell phone she could afford a car. But she was on the phone and I wasn't listening to her conversation until she said, I don't know what my problem is. I'm always getting involved with assholes, Polish guys, et cetera.

Oh boy, yeah, you don't want that. Oh man, and that et cetera really opens up the umbrella to just every stripe of guy you can imagine. It's like, I feel like on math tests or like logic tests, like maybe the SATs, they would do like, what's next in this sequence? Assholes. Polish guys. Ooh, brother. Super Mario. Yeah, I'm trying to think.

Would it be a combination of the two? Like a real famous asshole is a Polish guy? No, I think it's got to be like a third random thing. Yeah. Yeah, Super Mario's probably it then. That's a pretty specific kind of guy, though. Yeah. Polish guy?

Plumber. No, plumber, Italian plumber. What's more specific, assholes or Polish guys? Or what does... See, the assholes, I think, because Polish guys could be a lot of different types of guys. But see, in this person's mind, the Polish guys seems way more specific to me. I feel like there's assholes everywhere, but does that make them more or less specific? I don't know. Are there more assholes in the world or polish

oh more ass more assholes okay so yeah we're getting we're narrowing narrowing but then etc just blows it wide open that's true yeah unless unless it was like another thing where there's a lot of them like musicians you know assholes polish guys bouncers Musicians. Assholes, Polish guys. Bouncers. Bouncers, bassists. These are all good suggestions. Koopa Troopas. I really have only got one sort of reference point for things. Dave, do you have one over here?

Here's one. It's from Kingsgate Mall. I was at the bank machine. The Royal Bank machine machine it was appointed by the queen uh she came and cut the ribbon on her last visit here she she hung out there hung out there and uh there was like people got to sit on her lap and ask for jewels yeah they get one wish from the queen she cut the ribbon at the royal bank uh atm kiosk yeah it had already been peed in uh there uh i was behind uh uh this uh eight-year-old girl and her mother and uh they got the mother was at the machine and got her money out and got the receipt and then crumbled up the receipt

and threw it in the garbage. And it wasn't, it's sometimes they'll have like a little slot where you can put your. Yeah. Yeah. But this was just like an open garbage full of receipts. And, uh, after she threw it in, uh, she threw the

receipt in, um, the little eight year old girl just reached into the garbage and grabbed a handful of receipts. And was like, pretty good, right? And the mother just said, don't put your hand in the garbage. I always thought, because is there anything on one of those receipts that you could use? Identify steal? Identity steal? Yeah, or, or I guess you could look at it and see their balance and be like, oh, I'm going to follow this person home and rob them.

Yeah. Well, the thing I had heard the, the like skeezy guy strategy was to, to, uh, get a couple of those, like go through them in the garbage can, find ones with like a really high balance, and then go to the club later. And just, oh, you know what? I'll write my number on this. And the girl's like, this guy's got $800.

Yeah, because it doesn't say your name on it. Does it? I don't know. I don't think so. No, I think it's got like the last couple of numbers of your bank card. Yeah. I don't know. Let's go to a bank machine. Let's check it out.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, I don't, I don't have a bank card, so we'll have to, we'll have to just wait for someone to go. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. But they'll be fine. Can we see that? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, when you're done with it, can we see yours? You just pick it out of the garbage can, guys. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Be like that kid. Oh, my new hero. My overheard. Do tell. It comes from some kids on the bus, and a boy was telling a bunch of girls a joke. It was not the joke is not the good part but well i guess yeah i'll leave it up to the audience i guess uh but this was the joke verbatim a robber goes into a car

shop which is is that what you call it car i'm gonna go to the car shop uh what car does he steal? Is the setup Do we get to guess? Yeah, absolutely Is it a pun? Not really Is it funny? But imagine a type of car that would help Is it a make and model? Like, is that the answer?

Yeah, yeah, yeah Oh boy Mitsubishi thief Yeah. Yeah. Oh, boy. Mitsubishi thief. Does a Toyota steal a car, a Rolla? Oh, steal a car, a Rolla. Yeah, that's pretty good. I think that's it. It's not good.

Well, it's better than the actual answer. Don't encourage me. The actual answer is a Ford Escape. Not bad. That's okay. And then one of the girls said, that would be way more funnier if I knew what that was. Yeah.

Girls just do not know makes and models. No, that's separate separate abilities but equal right because i don't know um how a baby is born yeah yeah women women be birthing is that what they were telling jokes about back to the guy yeah like what is a baby a fort escape yeah what a uterus yeah what does a baby drive out of the anyways i was at the car shop the other day there's one in my neighborhood a car shop yeah because there are parking lots full of like cars that dealerships have but there's this one place that's got like a 19 that's got like sports cars from the 80s like an 82 maserati and an 86 Lamborghini.

Wow. You really are a car nut. I know, right? I know years. I know names. But they're just in this one showroom that can fit three cars. And it's like the car shop. What do you got today?

Oh, the same three that have been here for months? What's the one, is it a Corvette, like an old Corvette that's like the real muscle car, kind of looks like a Dutch clog? Do you know what I'm talking about? A Dutch clog? Yeah. Like a wooden shoe? Yeah, like a wooden shoe.

It kind of looks like a wooden shoe. Like a Birkenstock Boston? No, it's like the famous kind of Corvette a wooden like a birkenstock boston no it's like like something like the famous kind of corvette from the 80s that was like the real muscle car oh yeah yeah i kind of know what you're sure yeah they they are everywhere in saskatchewan like i like i haven't seen one since the 80s but they're all in saskatchewan just like tearing up the street who made made it in front of high schools? The Chevy?

Because they don't. I have no idea. They have their own logo on the front. Yeah, it's got like a flag. It's like the Mustang has a horse on the front. We don't want to put Ford on it. People aren't going to want it. We don't want Calvin pissing on this logo.

Calvin pissing on a horse? That would be weird. Yeah. That's backwards if you ask me. Now, we also have overheards that people send in.

If you want to send one into us, you can send it in to spy at maximumfun.org. And this first one comes from Patrick P.

in Toronto. Hmm. Whatever. in Toronto. Hmm. Whatever. Good guy. I was coming home on the bus after a concert around 1230 a.m. on a Wednesday night. The bus made a stop, and a couple people came on, and I noticed the bus driver talking with a drunk-looking guy with a duffel bag, but wasn't letting him on. with a drunk looking guy with a duffel bag, but wasn't letting him on.

I popped my headphone out to hear, uh, what the guy was saying. And he was saying, uh, I'm so, I'm so hammered, man. And I have no money.

Would you take a steak? The man proceeded to take out a package of frozen meat and kind of waved it around. If I was a bus driver, like absolutely. Darn tootin'. Um, but yeah,

he wouldn't let him on with, uh, even, even with the promise of steak. Do you think the whole duffel bag was filled with meat? I mean, that's the implication. How many bus rides did he have that night? Yeah. Where was he going? Can I use this steak as a transfer?

Yeah, luckily. Use bacon as a transfer. I'm in the big city. I got a duffel bag full of meat. The world is an oyster. Not mine. My Corvette crashed. I'm in the big city I got a duffel bag full of meat the world is an oyster not mine my my Corvette crashed yeah

I crashed my Corvette into a deer though luckily this is venison um you know I watched a documentary about how to

field dress a moose that was the only channel that I got when I was in the Yukon and they were showing a documentary from like the

late 70s so like the hotel channel yeah it were showing a documentary from like the late seventies. So like the hotel channel. Yeah. It was like two dudes, uh, like slaughtering a moose. It takes hours, man. Like it takes. It's okay. I got time.

Yeah, that's true. We're on holiday. We don't have to rush. You had enough time. We're in Kokomo. You had enough time to watch that documentary. I think you had enough time to dress a moose. No, no.

They did a lot of good wipes. A lot of, you know what I mean? When you say dress a moose, you mean like figure out like different styles it can wear? Yeah, it's what not to wear for moose. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Do you want hunters to notice you or don't you?

First, you have to agree to throw out your entire wardrobe. Is that what they do on that show? Yeah. they always throw it in a very clean garbage can though recycling yeah like they don't throw it into like okay we're going across the uh alley to the vietnamese place we're gonna throw it in their dumpster so you can't have anything back because it's covered in fur uh this next one comes from Brian M. In Austin, Texas. Hi. Keep it weird. I'm standing in the hallway of a movie theater after the Hunger Games.

So that's how long ago this was emailed in. Mockingjay Part 1. Second run theater. Two guys enter the hallway and walk past me. Guyockingjay part one. Second run theater. Two guys enter the hallway and walk past me. Guy one to guy two. That was, without a doubt, the best pretzel I have ever had.

Oh yeah, movie theater pretzel? I don't think I've had a good one. I've definitely had one, but I don't think they're... Have you ever had the best anything at a movie theater? Popcorn, probably. Handjob. Handjob.

Oh, yeah. Well, related. Because you cut a little hole in the popcorn. Cut a little hole in the pretzel. Yeah. Cut a hole in your soda. A pretzel is just nothing but holes. Salty, though.

I wonder if that ever worked. The hole in the. Yeah. Or if anybody's ever actually done it. Oh, I'm sure people have actually done it. Yeah. I don't know. It just doesn't seem like it would work.

Graham's just pantomiming whether he would be fooled by the trick or not. Hong Kong. Yeah. There it is. Did you guys have the It Store here in Vancouver? It was at Eastcote. It was like dot, dot, dot, It Store. Oh.

And so it was like, you would look at their catalogs and it'd be like, you know, clothe it or bathe it or prank it. And it was like, had all these like cheeky prank gags in it. And i think they would probably made a fortune off of remote control whoopee cushions and popcorn bags with holes oh really the bottom but that's not even a product like you could make it a product that's why popcorn bag with a hole it's not you just cut a hole in a popcorn bag 90 of the fun is making a hole To the size of your genitals

Yeah, but it's also fun To like get it pre-made and give it to somebody For their birthday or something, right? Oh yeah There's a market there guys, I'm just putting it on the table It's just not like If it's just a bag You just poke a hole

It's not like you need To cut a shape You just poke a hole. It's not like you need to cut a shape. Look. Just poke a hole. That's the problem with your generation. You just want to poke a hole. With like a pen? No, with like.

You're dead. You're dead to somebody else's. Maybe you have a Swiss Army knife. Yeah yeah yeah You're a leather man You're judging me because I carry a leather man Not because I put my genitals Into a snack

It's just the only time that it gets to breathe During the date You put it in the popcorn And then the girl's like can I have some And you're like no no It's breathing This is my popcorn And the girl's like, can I have some? And you're like, no, no. It's breathing. Breathing in. Yourself.

These are my popcorns. No, this is for me. You can have a Twizzler. There's a hole in the Twizzler. Yeah, let me pull it out for you. I put holes in all of the snacks. So we're cutting that whole section. Yeah. And this last one comes from Joe M. From from uh chicago you think it's joe montana

i think it's joe montana well he's not from chicago no but he uh definitely goes there he went to enemy visits he stays at a nice hotel yeah sure he plays the bears um woman passing by me on the street to her friend so i finally got to drive a taurus this episode is ford heavy oh yeah yeah real car talk episode today um engines etc drive shafts yeah oh yeah frank shafts yeah shaft shut your mouth that's his name that's the line from the song shut your mouth that's his name shut your mouth that's his name That's the line from the song Shut your mouth That's his name Shut your mouth That's your name

Dave do you know every song? Yeah yeah Shaft is a bad mother Shut your mouth That's his name Okay I understand it Shaft This was quite a misunderstanding

Waka chaka waka chaka Shaft Who's the cop who likes to Plop Plop Shaft Diarrhea Probably Who's the cop that's sliding in a first And his pants are gonna burst likes to do... Plop. Plop. Shaft. Diarrhea. Probably.

Who's the cop that's sliding into first and his pants are going to burst? Shaft. Shaft. Sorry, Shaft. In addition to overheards that are written in,

we also accept your phone calls. Do you want to call us? Do it. The number is 206-339-8328. Like these people have. Oh, yeah. Hi, Dave.

Great and impossible guest. So this is Kevin from Iowa City, Iowa. And I was at a Friday matinee, and in the crowd was a mostly senior audience. And a trailer for the new Magic Mike XXL came on. Oh, yeah. And after the trailer was done, I heard this guy whisper to his wife, well, I'm not going to go see that.

Even though you're going to make me, I'm not going to like it. I don't have to see every one of these trailers, do I? Is that how movies work? Maybe he just doesn't want her to know he's going. Oh, so he's making a big show of like, ah. Who wants to see that? And then he goes and learns the moves.

Right. And spices up their marriage. Oh man, that is beautiful. Yeah. Right? He puts on Genuine and does a crazy dance for her. But not Pony, just a deep cut for Genuine. Just an interview disc with Genuine.

Oh yeah, sure. Japanese release only. Yeah, they had a trailer. Oh, they had a trailer for that in front of Entourage. And then they also had a trailer for a movie with Zac Efron where he plays a DJ and it's like

an inspirational like, find your groove. But isn't the movie within Entourage about a DJ? Yeah. It is? That's rough stuff. I know, man.

Yeah. Huh? Vince plays the DJ and he directed it. Oh, okay. It's a mess. I went to a restaurant when I was here. Yeah. I won't say the name.

Is it the Entourage themed restaurant? Yeah. I'll have the turtle fries The Ari golden potatoes I'll have the Saigon chicken I'll have the Medellin Sure That's a salad

I'll have fries served in a suit Hey suit From that guy who calls everyone suit Oh yeah that's the Billy I'll have the Queens Boulevard piece of lard. That doesn't work. Let's see, what other movies do you make? I'll have the Aquaman fish stick.

You get one large fish stick. So you went to a restaurant. And they had pictures of all the famous people That had gone to eat there And there was no one that I recognized Except like four pictures of Sam Elliott In civilian clothes And like ten pictures of Zac Efron

They're not fooling anybody I know, those two are dating Don't take our pictures together I mean, those two are dating. Yeah. Like, we don't take our pictures together. I mean, we don't mind that you take our pictures individually, but. So it's not that famous people eat there, it's just that Zac Efron.

Loves it. Goes there a lot. He was half the wall. He was doing research for a movie where he plays a waiter. A guy who poses for pictures at restaurants. Here's your next phone call. Hey, guys and guests.

Female guests, I'm guessing. This is Kent from Parts Unknown. Today I was at a sort of a high-end organic grocery store, and there were two women in front of me in line who were talking to each other and one of them said that their kid had a cold and they were

loading him up on vitamin C and the other lady just sort of rolled her eyes and said, well anytime somebody in our house gets sick we just use euthanasia. Yeah. The first sign of sniffles and you're done.

We're pulling the cord. Pulling the cord? That's when you jump out of a plane. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how they perform euthanasia. Yeah. Oh, that would be pretty cool. Well, we're going up.

I was trying to think of the guy who, that guy who robbed the plane and jumped off. Oh, D.B. Cooper? But I kept thinking of D.B. Sweeney from The Cutting Edge. Oh, wow. What if that person wasn't missaying something? What if they do euthanasia? What if they do euthanasia?

Yeah. Anytime someone gets sick, how many people in their house? Yeah. Not that not as many as there used to be. But that's how like, it's like, well, if you're sick and you don't want to go to school, well, you know what happens. Just to scare their children. Right.

Yeah. Look what happened. Parenting tip, Dave. Yeah. Look what happened to grandma. She didn't want to go. She got sick once when she was 97. And so we put a pillow over her face.

As a family. Everybody put your hand in now. We're all guilty. Like a Ouija board. No one talks. Yeah, yeah. We're all involved. Yeah, family.

I imagine the family that commits murder together stays together. I got to say, I've used echinacea. No good. No? Doesn't do anything for me. You're still here, aren't you? Yeah, that's true. You can't argue with that.

It works better than euthanasia. Yeah. Although, you're not sick anymore. That's true. Oh, and he finally gets to meet Liberace. See, that's the thing. If you're dead, because people are always like, oh, well, now he gets to go and hang out with so-and-so. But there's way more people, you know, in the afterlife than there would be on Earth.

So the chances of you ever getting to meet, like, Jimi Hendrix, even if you liked playing guitar on Earth, very slim. I just want people to know that. Yeah, and Jimi Hendrix doesn't need you playing rhythm. Yeah, and also he went to hell yeah oh what no no he's in a very cool band up there yeah yeah yeah there's cobain hendrix can you imagine they would just fight all the time about because they don't have a style yeah their music doesn't go together yeah yeah but they always have this yeah oh joining the coolest band in the universe. Which is getting bigger. Yeah, yeah.

Like, that band is like. Do you think they hold auditions? Like, the best auditions ever, right? Well, yeah, and some of the people have to be bumped. Like, B.B. King just got there, so, like, somebody's on the bottom. No one's getting bumped by B.B. King. Do you not think so? No one likes B.B. King.

No, that's not true. The diabetes people, they love to. Oh, he doesn't have to prick his finger anymore. Ah, so he can play all the live long day. No, you name more than the thrill of gone by BB King. Ah, nobody loves me but my mother, but she might be jiving too. Oh, that's pretty good. Yeah.

All right. Got me dead to rights. Those two songs, you're the biggest BB King fan in Vancouver. Yeah. Here's your final overheard of 2015. Hey, guys. It is Erin from Columbus, Ohio, and I am calling with an overheard. Last night, I was at a barbecue at my neighbor's house.

A barbecue. And I was getting some food, and next to the table, two women were talking. And one of them said was talking about getting hit by a car on her bicycle and she said oh yeah i had a broken rib and i bruised my spleen and right then a 10 year old girl popped out of nowhere and yelled at the top of her lungs the spleen is very important if you need to hold your breath for a very long time. Thanks, guys. Is that true?

I don't know, but I just like the idea of a 10-year-old girl popping up. I heard spleen. She's riding that Jonathan Lipnicki, Jerry Maguire wave of kid facts. Just hoping that there's a casting agent somewhere. She went to spleen camp last summer. Oh, did you? Oh, don't say spleen. Don't say spleen around my kid.

Oh, that is a thing though, right? Spleen camp? No, where kids, they get into a thing and then it's like, oh, we've almost got, got him or her, uh, ready for bed. Don't say dinosaurs. Right. And then they'll just get super excited. Spleens. Spleen.

What is a spleen? What do you need it for? Is it necessary? Oh, pseudoscience coming at you. Uh oh. Yeah. It's necessary to hold your breath. But like people can lose a spleen.

Yeah, I think so. It's slight, I think it's more. Like it can just slide out of your butt, you mean? I think it's more traumatic to lose a spleen

than a appendix, but you can live without a spleen. That's true. But you can live without an appendix, right? Is spleen just another name for the appendix?

Spleen's just another word for nothing left to lose. Yeah, yeah, you get some spleen into it. I think you need it a little while. It's just

the funniest sounding organ. Spleen. Yeah, it is pretty funny. Wait, wait. Funnier than pancreas? I'm not so sure, guys. What does that do? It creates pancreatic fluid. Uh-huh. Yeah. And, uh, yeah.

I think spleen is just a poor man's pancreas. Yeah, that's true. Rank the organs. Oh, how come that's not a listicle? Your organs ranked. Number one, skin. Oh, yeah. Underrated.

Wait, I guess not if it's number one. But it's, uh, yeah, it holds it all together. Oh. Oh, it's like the drummer. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Now. I'm sorry. But it's Yeah it holds it all together Oh Oh it's like the drummer Yeah Yeah Now I'm sorry I thought we were still talking about Rock and roll heaven

Revolution X Yeah Hey I'm the skin of Aerosmith He's holding up drumsticks made of skin Gross This is the blob of skin I'd fuck me Now that brings us to the end of the show The blob of stuff. I'd fuck me.

Now that brings us to the end of the show. I think that Buffalo Bill and the drummer from Aerosmith kind of look alike. A little bit. Well, the drummer from Aerosmith had like a ponytail. Did Buffalo Bill? Buffalo Bill liked to let it hang. Yeah. I mean, the drummer from Aerosmith also could let it hang.

Oh, yeah. I hope the next time I see them in concert, he does. Remember when they fought the revolution? Wait, are they the bad guys in this game? Prince's band? The revolution? Oh, yeah. I wouldn't like their odds against Prince's band, I tell you.

Now, that brings us to the end. Oh, geez, already? Of this podcast. Yeah. Now, obviously, you want to plug Cowtown. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Cowtown on TELUS Optic Television.

Starting? Uh, the end of July. Okay. I don't have the date for it yet, but it's coming. Exciting. Within the next two weeks, uh, on YouTube, it's Cowtown Comedy on YouTube. Okay. Uh, and there's stuff there.

And where can people find you if they want to find you on like a Twitter? A Twitter at EvanW2K. And that's your picture in the Twitter? That's me. I don't, you know, someone once saw it and they asked why I had a picture of Michael Caine as my Twitter avatar.

But it's not. It's not. It's not. It's just another guy. But before I met you, I thought that's what you were. Okay, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Were you disappointed? I can't remember.

I don't do a feelings blog. So I don't remember how I felt. Yeah, you don't do a feel journal. Yeah. I don't mean to name drop here. Go on. But I was meeting up with Andy Kindler. Hey.

In Las Vegas. We both happened to be there at the same time. So we're like, hey, let's get together and have a drink. And he was going to do a show. And then he was like, you can come to my show. And I happened to run into Andy in the bathroom. Oh, yeah. At this casino.

I was like, Andy, what's going on? And I went to like shake his hand and, you know, do kind of like the nice like greeting hug of someone you've just met and he was like wait a second just wash my hands and you are who and i was like it's me evan and he was like oh right i didn't know what you actually looked like because you have a stupid twitter picture yeah so i hugged him in the bathroom and he thought it was just and he. Did he hug you back? No. Oh, okay. No, no, no. So he was just like, ah, this is not good.

Let me wash my hands. Well, it's celebrities. They're just like us. Don't hug them. Yeah. In the toilet. And do we have anything we got to plug? I don't know.

We'll be, where are you right now? It's July 20th. Uh, I am still, I am in Winnipeg. Fun. Yeah. I'm at the French festival in Winnipeg. And then in all through August, you will be? Edinburgh.

Edinburgh, Scotland. Yeah. And, uh, if you like the show, uh, check out the, uh, maximum fun., the blog recap, pictures and videos relating to the content of this podcast. Probably several. This will just be devoted to Aerosmith. Yeah, Aerosmith writes at Fred. I'm not sure that we talked about that on the show. That was maybe off air.

Are you able to get a picture of Aerosmith's drummer hair up and hair down? I don't know. We'll talk to our treasurer. We'll talk to his publicist. Aerosmith's drummer hair up and hair down? I don't know. I don't know. We'll talk to our treasurer. We'll talk to his publicist. No, we've erased all pictures of him hair down. We control the internet. Yeah, it was a vote. It was like the young Elvis, old Elvis.

And people like the hair up. And if you like the show, please do tell your friends to come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. Oh, this is a little Rolling Stones-y off the top. Sympathy for the Devil? Mm-hmm. Sounds like they're having so much fun. Like, sue for every similar-sounding song. Ooh, right speaker only

it's the way it was meant to be do they do they include that that party at the start

in the it's hard to tell there was a lot of sound effects so maybe yeah like you could see this in a video game.

That's hard. Remember when you were a kid and you didn't think about lyrics? You never give it a second thought? Yeah. You never had that conversation, Steven Tyler. Also, you're rich. That they're good for? Yeah. There's one too many syllables in there. That they're good for it?

Yeah. There's one too many syllables in there. Spit out the rich. Why? Well, when you take one bite and then spit out the rest. You just want them dead, I guess. Yeah, yeah. When you're done eating the rich.

You know, I actually kind of like that a lot. What, the burp at the beginning? No, no, just eat the rich. I was like, this would pump me up in a hockey dress. Oh, do you want to get pumped up by Aerosmith? Can I suggest an album? Which one? The Armageddon soundtrack. This was happening the same time as, like, Nirvana.

Yeah. And people, I think, I think the numbers will probably say that people preferred Aerosmith over Nirvana. And this video was groundbreaking. Ugh. It had the kid from Terminator 2. Wait. Did it? Yeah. Is this the one that had Alicia Silverstone?

No. That was every other video. What was this video? What was the premise? The kid, Edward Furlong. Yeah. He goes to school. He maybe has a gun in his bag or something.

Right. He's a little bit Jeremy. Oh, yeah, but he's got something fun at the end. The confetti gun or something? Oh, you're right, yeah. And then during the guitar solo, Joe Perry is on train tracks. Oh, and he steps off just before the train. But when you look at it now There was never

He was never in danger And then Steven Tyler is Naked With his Half his body Is unzipped Oh right

And he's holding his wiener And nards Maximumfun.org Comedy and culture Artist owned Listener supported