Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 390

Episode Date: September 7, 2015

Two silly men talk about silly things. Please don't let this be the first episode you listen to.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hey everybody, welcome to episode number 390 of Stop Podcast Yourself. My name's Graham Clark, and with me as always is a man who has offered me a very strange tasting beer, Mr. Dave Shumka. Yeah. We can't figure out what it tastes like.

Ew. In my Father's Day package. Yeah. Which I'm just getting around to using it there's a soap i still i rubbed a bit of it on me this morning there was so much seaweed that came out um wait a minute was it a bar of soap and seaweed came out of the bar yeah well it's got seaweed chunks in it gross uh my wife i think it's because my baby it was my baby's first father's day yeah so she didn't know what yeah i know she was like you're like seaweed right yeah i ate sushi once you're you're you're twisting my words no but she saw pictures of you in the ocean she assumes you're you're some sort of seaweed monster well i do have a lot of pictures of me in the ocean.

Because I'm like, I was in the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue that one time. And you were in the Merchant Marine for a couple years. But like, it was a pretty naughty swimsuit issue. They just painted a... A thong on you? Yeah, with an elephant theme. elephant theme like oh it's the trunk that is the only way you can do uh it would have to be either that or it's what he's wearing a very long skinny tie um uh yeah so uh but part of this uh father's day package was a big bottle of exotic local beer.

That looked like a, like a champagne. Yeah. It has a cork in it. It's one of those, if you've ever had a beer with a cork in it, it's going to be very flavorful and you'll have to, the joy is deciding whether it's, uh, fun. None of the flavors are beer. That's the one thing. Yeah. It yeah it's um a little bit of burning yeah a little bit of like orange peel yeah it's a little bit of orange peel for sure

and like uh you know when you eat too many handfuls of skittles and then your mouth just like just tastes like a sweet that's this yeah i feel like it also has like some kind of Like a sweet. That's this. Yeah. I feel like it also has like some kind of composite in it. Like some kind of what they would use in like a modern running shoe or a memory phone. Yeah. Oh, this beer was made by LA Gear.

Oh, yeah. Is that why it lights up? Yeah. When I press it down on the table. Was it LA Gear? Was Joe Montana the spokesman? Yeah, I feel like that's right. They were sort of in the second tier below.

They were sub Reebok. Yeah. Oh, and I watched a movie. And they were like in the K-Swiss category. But I watched a movie that had Bruce Willisis and hallie berry in it and what era uh it's got it had to be like early like early 70s mid mid 90s okay but the only scene i remember is that uh he's doing a presentation to a group and he's like i want you you guys to know that New York City is Reebok City. Oh, he's like a marketing guy?

Yeah, yeah. But that Reebok was like, we got to get in on the ground floor of this Halle Berry, Bruce Willis. Oh, yeah. Thriller. They went to, they went to L.A. Gear. They went to K-Swiss. They went to Puma. Puma.

They went to those Kangal, Kang They went to Puma. Puma. They went to those Kangaroo shoes. Kangaroo. Yeah, Kangaroo. They went to Saucony. They went to New Balance. They went to, well, Nike. Yeah. Nike was the first to pass.

Yeah. And then just down the line, Asics. That's one. the line ASICS that's one isn't it weird when it's like like a brand that only does tennis like rackets yeah Prince also makes shoes we make one kind of shoe it's a Walker that's for an 80 year older. Should we get to know us? Yeah. Get to know us. Guys, this week, we are without a guest. Yeah.

It's only been five episodes, but we haven't seen each other in five weeks. I know. So we thought we would just use this time together to catch up, catch y'all up. Yeah. We're recording this on a Thursday. It's being released on the Monday. That's the shortest lead time we've had in months. This is practically

live. Yeah. Caller, caller, go ahead. So we can talk about all the developments. Superfly Jimmy Snuka, arrested on murder charges. Oh no, but you were going to start a Superfly Jimmy Snuka news segment. You on murder charges. Oh, no. But you were going to start a Superfly Jimmy Snuka news segment. You just been... You got faced.

We're going to talk about... We're going to talk Trump. Oh, man. We're going to talk... Oh, the lady who won't marry gays. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, man.

What a week for news. What an exciting time to be... Alive. Alive, yeah. Oh, man. What a week for news. What an exciting time to be live. Live, yeah. Trump's going to make America great again. Starting now. That would be my slogan if I ever run for president. It's making America great. Starting dot, dot, dot. Yeah, when you elect me. But he hasn't released anything in the way of like how he's going to do anything. Oh, through hate. Oh, yeah. He's going to do it through hate and by being a troll person. Yeah.

And by using hate, he's going to do it like he's going to do a volume business. It's all volume. He keeps harping on the fact that he thinks that everyone thinks he wears a toupee. Nobody thinks he wears a toupee. Everyone knows it's a botched 80s hair transplant. The weird thing is that it's 2050. He has some money. Yeah.

He could get a real hair transplant. He could get the whole scalp taken off. That George Thurgood song, get a real hair transplant. He could get the whole scalp taken off. I love that George Thurgood song, get a real hair transplant and get a real job. Yeah, he's trying to do both. Uh-huh. But, yeah, does he, is that really the party line on it? It's like people keep asking me if I'm wearing a toupee.

Like, he's saying that so that people will start thinking, yeah, if he keeps bringing up toupee people will think that it's a toupee yeah but yeah it's a horrible hairdo yeah it's just it's it's the whoever did it put the hairs made them grow in the wrong direction like some of them grow through his brain. Like that's how it works. So it was the person's first day. Or you go to like a dental school. It wasn't even the person's first day.

It was the first one. It was the first hair transplant. They took hair from a pony. Because that was the only donor they could get. The pony dony. They started at his eyebrows and worked up, so they got his whole forehead. That's not a comb-over, it's just he's combing it up and sideways. He's doing everything he can.

We've got a lot of fresh material today on Donald Trump's hairdo, how dogs are different than cats, Michael Jackson. But it's not my fault he keeps making my material so fresh yeah it's true um do you do a donald trump impression uh hey get out of here yeah you're a lose bag you're a lose bag hey uh i'm gonna build to build a fence. That's his big thing. Rosie O'Donnell is a worthless piece of garbage. That's, yeah, Rosie O'Donnell. When's she going to run? Now that's the election we all want to see.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. She's my Hillary. Rosie versus Trump, 2016. rosie versus trump 2016 or trump stunts the world by announcing his running mate rosie o'donnell yeah okay and all yeah chris o'donnell's oh mother um but people he was robin uh and he was also in the movie the bachelor i want to say yeah yeah yeah the the only movie that the tv show the bachelor's based on how come with a show like that that's so popular the bachelor they've never made a movie

did does the i think like it's a spiritual sequel It's like a companion piece? Because isn't he... I don't remember the plot of that at all. Do you? I remember the trailer. Okay, he wins a lottery. He wins. He literally wins a lottery. He wins.

He gets an inheritance. But the only catch is he's got to get married. But it's a huge inheritance. Right. And so all these women are after him. Is that the movie? I think that's the plot. Well, all I remember is the trailer

is him running down the street in a tuxedo, and then there's all these women chasing him. And Richard Pryor's there, and he's got to spend all this money with John Candy. And Nicolas Cage is there, and he's split the money with Bridget Fonda. Uh-huh, and he's given his wife over to a bunch of gamblers and there's flying Elvises.

Yeah, and they all have to spend the night in a haunted house. Yeah, with Robert Redford. That would make dying worth it if you had a real wacky will. Mm-hmm. You know, like you get this thing, but you have to get a hole in one. Yeah, I think there's to get a hole in one. Yeah. I think you're, uh, there's like a special kind of a state law that is like, we specialize in wacky wills. Yeah.

Uh, we're, uh, Dr. Demento and associates. He's the first doctor who's also a lawyer. And, uh, yeah, he handles, he handles wacky, wacky wills. Yeah. It's like Johnson, Rosenblatt, and Demento. Attorneys-in-law. Yeah. Attorneys-in-law?

She's my attorney-in-law. We're going to visit my attorney-in-law. Oh boy, I got a bunch of great attorney-in-law jokes. So Dave, how was your August? We're going to visit my attorney-in-law. Oh, boy. I got a bunch of great attorney-in-law jokes. So, Dave. What? How was your August? Oh, boy. All right.

I took a man's life. Oh, it turns out it was easy to say. Yeah. Yeah. It was in Reno. You did it. Just watch him die. Oh, yeah. What's going on phone-wise there it. Just watch him die. Oh, yeah.

What's going on phone-wise there? Is this all your info? Oh, boy. It was a long month. Mm-hmm. Okay. Well, the big thing that happened is one, Abby spent one week on vacation. I spent four days on vacation or so.

And Abby went to Gabriela Island. Yeah. The site of our marriage. Oh, yeah. With Alicia Tobin. Same, different, different place though, right? Yeah. Just to Abby's parents' place.

Is a, like a cottage? It's, yeah, sort of. It's like a house. Oh, it's like a house. Yeah. It's parents' place. Is a, like a cottage? It's, yeah, sort of. It's like a house. Oh, it's like a house. Yeah. It's got internet and. Oh, really? Carpet.

It doesn't, yeah. So it's not like rustic. Like there's not like. The most rustic part. Cross country skis on the wall or something. The most rustic part is the, the fact that there's a well. Like all the water comes from a well. Right. And so you, especially in the the summer you can just run out of water oh right and that didn't happen to the last

day but it was uh it's also been like the craziest driest summer here ever oh yeah yeah but uh like when you say from a well i am am, of course, picturing. That we put a bucket in. Sometimes baby Jessica falls in. Why doesn't she stay away from the well? She knows what's going to happen. I know, but, you know, baby, baby, well. Would that now say she wanted to do a comeback? When was that?

The 80s for sure. Because Ronald Reagan dug the first ceremonial shovel. He flew down for a photo op. Yeah. Yeah, so she's an adult now. Adult Jessica, they call her. But do you think if she had the right agent. She could appear, she could

appear at various wells? Well, I just think like maybe he would say, it's time for you to get stuck in something else. Yeah. A pipe. Yeah. Or when, remember those Chilean miners who were stuck underground? Uh-huh. How come she wasn't brought on shows to talk about her well experience? Yeah.

Yeah, exactly. Trapped specialist. We're here with grown-up jessica tell us what were what are these minors thinking yes uh goo goo gaga was probably their main thought so anyways i don't know where she is now but oh she died oh did she die i wonder i don't know how that what the outcome was. Well, it's got to be tough when your top thing that you've ever done was when you were a baby. But what if it turns out she's Jessica Simpson? Oh, man.

That would be the best. Right? It would explain a lot. Guys, I was trapped in a well oh boy i think that i'm in love with you i'm i'm are you googling jessica from the well no i'm or jessica simpson jessica simpson uh is baby jessica gonna come up baby jessica case it was the baby jessica case in the early 90s really yeah oh yeah that's true she was wearing la gear sneakers and those were popular yeah she was wearing a varney shirt she was uh uh bruce willis proclaimed this well is a Reebok or whatever. This is a Reebok well. Yeah.

So, you guys, plenty full of water on vacation. Water, water everywhere. Hot and cold running? Yeah. It's a great place. Yeah. Toilet? Well water?

Or do they have like septic tank? Yeah. I don't know. Okay. But like, yeah. I don't, I don't know. Okay. But like, yeah, it's, I don't know what the, I don't know anything about no plumbing. It was just sometimes you run out of water. Yeah. Okay.

So do you have to bring water with you? No, no. In general, it's not a problem. And, but like, yeah, no, it's totally, it's totally way better than your dumb old cottage idea. Now, let me say this. I have no idea how a well works. Me neither. Like, I don't understand how it gets more water.

It's some kind of underground rainwater collection system. But how, and then there's some kind of filtering thing that goes on? Yeah, yeah. I don't know. I don't know either. But I also don't know how regular pipes work yeah that's true that's also true like when they say that the storm water has like goes like goes to where fish are uh-huh i'm like but are we drinking water where there was fish like how does that work? It does taste fishy Oh I know there was a fish in this

Oh gross I'm not drinking more water like my doctor said I know it's just got fish goo in it I went to the doctor You know what the doctor said? Ooh ee ooh uh uh Not the witch doctor The doctor said no more monkeys jumping on the ground.

Oh, right. Yeah. My doctor said to put the lime on the coconut. That's the doctor as well? Yeah, yeah. Demento? Yeah. Demento said that?

My lawyer? Dr. Demento DDS. Oh, he's a dentist. Anyway, so Abby. Dr. Dento Demento. Please. Uh, anyway, so Abby. Dr. Dento Demento.

Please. So Abby went out of town with the baby and the dog. Yeah. That's what we call Alicia. Mean. I know. Um, and, uh, but so they were out of town for like four days and I was by myself and it was like the craziest, like feeling to not have to take care of a baby, not to have to even walk a dog, having the bed to myself, being able to, it was also a long weekend. So I could wake up whenever I wanted. What time did you wake up?

6.30. No, weekends I'm the 7 guy. And did you do anything like, you know, whipped cream out of the can? Yeah, sure. I did that thing where you pour milk in your mouth with the chocolate syrup. Yeah, yeah. Shake your head around. Tried it once when I was a kid.

It was a headache inducing. around tried it once when i was a kid it was a headache inducing um uh i didn't know it was like okay here's what i want here's what i can't do anymore go to a restaurant by you could go to a restaurant by yourself well yeah but like that so that's why what i did oh like oh because this is what i can't do anymore with all the situations. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So I was like, what can I, well, how do I make the most of this?

I'm going to go to Hooters. Please. I went to, one night I went to, oh, I also can't go to movies anymore. Oh, yeah. So I was like, I'll go to a movie. And so I saw the movie everyone's seeing this summer. I'm trying to think of the one, the DJ one with Zac Efron. No, that's only recent.

The one with the teddy bear who's really crude. Did you really go see Ted 2? No. Oh, man. I saw Mad Max. Oh, and I haven't seen it is it good you've seen it i haven't you're erode you don't have a baby no that's true i don't have any excuses yeah it's it's the song of the summer the movie but it's it's like you know like if you

went and uh visited somebody who lived in new york they don't go to broadway all the time you know it's like i could do it anytime and so i don't even think about it oh so you never go to movies no but i could but i don't ever i had a list of like five movies i was gonna i could go to matinee then i can go to the evening movie maybe in between i'll go to a restaurant i saw one movie yeah i went to i think i went to three restaurants i would what would you i would go to a restaurant that would be like super not baby friendly yeah like i what but i i'm having trouble like figuring out what that is like some kind of fancy sushi i went went to a fancy fancy Italian restaurant. Oh, nice. That has a lineup.

Like people, it opens at 5.30 and people start lining up at 5. What? Yeah. We have that here? Yeah. Is it new? It's new-ish, yeah. Okay.

And so I went to that at like 5.15 and then ate like, I came directly from work and it's not in like a great neighborhood. So I like had my laptop with me as I ate. And I was the only person by themselves. That's something that you couldn't do, just eat and look at your laptop at the same time. Oh, it was just in a bag. Was it good? Was it at least worth lining up for?

Yeah. I mean, it was, it was like, I, as soon as they opened, I, they sat me down and they said, you're not our kind. No, it was really good. And, uh, yeah. So that's like a thing. And then most of the, like the rest of the stuff I did was I watched, uh, the TV show Fargo.

Oh yeah. From start to finish and went to bed every day at like 8 o'clock or even earlier with a pint of ice cream. Oh wow. Like a Bridget Jones. I was going to get in bed with a pint of ice cream and watch a silly movie.

Yeah. Although that Fargo TV show is really good. I haven't seen it. Oh, it's like the Mad Max of TV shows. Oh, no. It's great. I have no grounds for comparison. It's got Colin Hanks.

Oh, well, that's old. Yeah. That's why I watched Orange County. It's really got Billy Bob. I mean, it's got Colin Hanks County. It's really got, uh, Billy Bob. I mean, it's got Colin Hank and he's great, but Billy Bob Thornton and his wig. And also, uh, Bob Oatker. Yeah. Yeah.

It's got everybody. Filmed outside of Calgary. Uh, yeah. Inside and outside of Calgary. Oh, and one of the restaurants I went to was, uh, it I was the only person there because I go to dinner at 530. And they have a NFL. They're like, we haven't even started our dinner menu. Do you want fish sticks or chicken fingers?

Do you want a kid's menu? And so I was like, I'll sit at the bar And I'm like you'll have to We're not open yet You'll have to because All the chairs are upside down How did you even get in here? Yelp says you're open

Yeah I just walked in with your waitress Well we give them a meal Before we open What's she having So I I had to Talk to a bartender the whole time Because we were the only people there

He's like tell me your troubles Clean them a glass Oh wow So that's a thing I've never done before. No, I've never eaten a meal and talked to a bartender. No, that's not true. I haven't done it. Because usually if I'm ever at a bar, it's noisy.

Yeah, that's true. I've never been somewhere where it's like. Where it's like all quiet. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then we went, and then I went to Gabriola. I joined them.

I took the plane over. And they were like, I was the last person on the plane. It's like a 20 seat plane. And the last person on, they were like, well, the only seat left is next to the pilot. And it seems really unsafe yeah you can really did you wear uh cans no now you're like i don't want to talk to you but there was a little sign that says our pilots it was basically like our pilots don't have to talk to you we reserve the right not to die yeah like you are not a co-pilot. Yeah, exactly. And sometimes he would even have to reach over to my side and I'd have to move my knees. Yeah, I've been given that option quite a few times and I don't want it.

In as much as if they were like, you can have a chair in the kitchen and watch the chef prepare meals. kitchen and watch the chef prepare meals there's nothing that i didn't have to sign an oath saying i won't i won't like get airsick and barf all over the control panel dooming us all there's no metal detector no those planes have no and they don't even give a safety thing they're just like yeah over the teeth a little safety thing of like but But it was instead of a video that plays on a screen, the pilot held up an iPad while it played a video. I flew on United Airlines, which I've never flown on before. You say that like it's new. Have you heard of this thing?

Have you heard of this? They have a blue corn chip. But they have... Their safety video is so artistically done. Like it's like a person's like walking through the woods and then shows like where the emergency exits are. And then they're in France. And then the thing drops down. They show how to do it there.

Then they're in Australia. They were given a budget, like, make the best safety video we've ever seen. Yeah, we want it to be like a 90s perfume commercial. Make it so good that people will still ignore it. The problem is it's... Well, what is the problem? Well, getting a star to attach to it. I guess the problem is, with those videos, is you never need to see them more than once.

If I was a powerful celebrity actor, I would make one movie for the studio. And one movie for the studio and one movie for the airline i would demand to be in an airline safety video every other film i make that's a yeah that's noble yeah yeah like i want to elevate the whole form. Or like, not even airline, but just like driving school. Oh, any industrial video. Yeah. Sexual harassment.

At work. Yeah. Like, I'm going to play a villain this time. I'm going to be the sexual harasser in this one. Show me your wigs. There was a, I subscribe, I just signed up for like email updates for this company that does auctions, like celebrity auctions. So what do you mean? Like celebrity stuff?

Yeah. Okay. They did one a few months ago. I think I told you about it. I almost, I tried to buy you something. Oh, the Burt Reynolds. Burt Reynolds something. Satin jacket.

Yeah. I tried to buy you something. A Burt Reynolds satin jacket. Yeah. But they did one of Dom DeLuise's belongings. Oh, wow. And I wish I'd bid on it because the thing I really wanted was

a collection of his wigs and fake beards. Oh, man. And it only went for like $178. To some weirdo. Yeah. Oh, man. Oh, boy.

You'll lose a lot of money just buying the bulletproof glass to put around that. That's right. Because people want to shoot his wings. Yeah. I want to shoot his wigs. Yeah. Yeah, I think in the distant future, there will be a similar auction for all of Samuel L. Jackson's wigs.

Oh, yeah. That he's worn over the years. But, like, the thing is, that means, because it was stuff from his house, and it was, like, paintings that he owned, and, like, his jewelry. Oh, so this was, like, his like his personal wig collection yes that's what that means it's like that's very they were like they were movie it was like after the movie's over he keeps wigs oh weird uh sir sir where are you going with that wig i'll be right back sir like he's just some guy on the movie set do you think he stole it or

he sent in his friend i think it was probably he just pretended he forgot to take it off on the last day also he was friends with burt reynolds so maybe they were burt reyigs. Oh, that's true. Because he's a famous undercover bald. I've never seen a movie with Dom DeLuise in it, I don't think. And the only, Burt Reynolds. Cannonball Run?

No. I haven't seen any of those. Oh, he's in, isn't he like, has a cameo in Blazing Saddles? Yeah, yeah. Or maybe Young Frankenstein. Maybe. Like, has a cameo in Blazing Saddles? Yeah. Or maybe Young Frankenstein?

Maybe. I've seen those. Yeah, I think he's the director of the movie at the very tail end of Blazing Saddles. Sure. So, there you go. They're fine, I have. But, yeah, like, even Burt Reynolds, I haven't seen Cop and a Half. That is his main one. Did they ever make an Evening Shade movie?

You've seen Boogie Nights. He was in that. Yes, I have. And have you seen Deliverance? Yes, I have. I just didn't recognize him without his mustache. Oh, I know. Yeah, that was vintage oh how hard do you think you probably uh fought to get uh dom deluise to play the ned baity role

and dom was like stop fighting for me yes no thank you i want that role. I squeal like that on my own time. Yeah. Oh, man. So, I went to Gabriela Island. Mm-hmm. And it was, for people not from around here. Yeah. But, it's like a, not a big island. You can drive around it in about half an hour.

Yeah. It's got beaches and like six restaurants alicia cooked every meal oh really wow she uh she she nutritioned us up good and uh mostly i i mean we went to the beach one day and i'm you know how i love the beach yeah yeah yeah i was dying to go i was like oh cool we'll get to go to the beach oh there's only going to be one like super sunny day while i'm there let's go today yeah and then like half an hour in i'm like my face hurts there's salt and sand and sun in my face and in my bathing suit how did it get in there um uh but we spent most of the time with Alicia Doing an impression of her

Sucking kids from a rose Baby Don't you know you got the kids from the rose On the things Also what do you do Once you're at the beach I haven't been to the beach since I was a kid, so I don't know what you do. Abby and I went to Turks and Caicos on our honeymoon.

Yes. Those were some nice beaches. Yeah, and you went snorkeling and stuff like that, right? Yeah, one day. Okay. But, like, that was probably the most enjoyable beach time I've had. And that was like, maybe even 90 minutes at a time. Yeah, yeah.

And you read, you read books. Yeah, like you read. Unless you have a baby and then you're like, we'll watch the baby. You watch the baby. You watch the baby discover whatever. Yeah, that's true. Discover sand. But it feels like between being a baby and then having a baby, there seems like no reason to go to the beach.

Well, if you're going to be a baby. Yeah. All I remember is walking on sand and it was super hot and then walking into the water, cool off my feet and then walking on sand that was hot again. And the water's a little too cold. Yeah. And it's very hot. You go in slightly and it takes a little while you got to go into your bathing suit oh yeah and then it's hard to get your genitals wet and then the one thing is getting that the water at the top of the bathing suit up up to the skin again oh yeah so uncomfortable

and then also what touched my foot and there were a bunch of oysters and uh like just live oysters and alicia was like hey what do you guys think about this and i think even she was like actually this is a bad idea oh well like none of us know what to do with a live oyster but the idea was floated. Like, because on cooking shows I've seen you just stick a knife in there. Wiggle it around. But on those shows they can edit out screams. Yeah, of the oyster.

Oh, yeah. I don't know what to do with an oyster. Have you seen that video of an oyster? Like, they put it on a table with a bunch of salt around And it just It looks like a tongue You say lick but it's not a tongue No I know it's just whatever It's penis Yes

It wipes it's penis Have you ever eaten an oyster? You can't, right? No, no, I never have. Or a muscle or any of those things. But like, when did they find out you were allergic? Pre-oyster level. Because you're not supposed to give oysters to babies, right?

Oh, my baby loves them. Knocks them back. It's a widow baby Tabasco. It's awesome now. She loves oysters. She loves lobster Thermidor thermidor oh it's expensive yep baked alaska she likes any old-timey food she likes rack of lamb anything that would be on a anything that's easy to draw yeah yeah that's

right like just like some bones coming out of a meat um Uh-huh. So you went to the beach. Baby loved it. Baby, yeah, I think so. Yeah. Baby loves every minute of it. Yeah, picking up a gross thing. Yeah. A sharp thing.

Yeah. A hot thing. And then the other thing that made Alicia very uncomfortable was how often we referred to our dog's body. Oh, look at his body it's just such a strong little guy he is a strong little guy strong little shoulders and oh just look at his tight little body little caboose he does have a cute little caboose um yeah so fun holiday yeah yeah and how was uh it was like drought times here and fire times and well we talked about fire times a couple weeks oh yeah and then there was crazy storm times yeah people lost power oh yeah that was fun yeah were you here for that uh yeah like two giant trees just came crashing down a block away from us.

Yeah. Like blocked the entire street. We didn't lose power. Did some people do? We gained political power. Oh, really? Yeah. We became, for like 24 hours until the utilities got turned back on, we were the king and queen

of Lichtenstein. Oh, hey, good for you. Yeah, it was weird. It must have been weird to all of a sudden, because you felt like no one man should have all that power. I know, but... And now it feels like very much like back to school time. Yeah.

Oh, I got a new backpack. I got some new trousers oh look at the catalogs yeah really excited to show off my new pencil case last year's pencil case is out this year i got a frozen one oh right yeah well because it was a giant drought all summer and then stormy the last week and like temperatures plummeting. Oh, it's great. It's not sweater weather, but oh boy. Yeah, but it's, it's. You're wearing like a sweater-y thing.

Yeah. I bought, I landed in Edinburgh realizing I did not bring anything but t-shirts and it was very cold there. You love it. So I went to the thrift store and bought this sweater and basically wore it every day. Like a cartoon character. How do you find this? Sure Who are the cartoon characters Who wear the same sweater all the time?

Waldo? Yeah Not that that's a cartoon Wasn't it? It was I feel like it was Sure In the 90s

They could make anything Cartoonify anything Yeah that's true British Dennis the Man Yeah Exactly Isn't there a cat that wears just a sweater and no pants oh or am i making up a character fritz the cat yeah it's some uh an australian comedian named brandon burn said i look like a

cat that used to teach kids how to cross the road that wore a stripy sweater. Yeah, sure. He was like, you look like Henry the Cat or something. And I was like, okay. Yeah, sure. Well, he does one movie where he teaches kids how to cross the roads, and then he does one for the studios. Yeah.

No, it's, oh, this, oh. I feel like it's a bit of a tease because it's going to go away. You think it's going to go hot again? Not hot, but it's like, I wish it was a light switch. September 1st, it's like the leaves fall, put on a turtleneck. Yeah. Pumpkin spice lattes all around. But it's not.

But it is kind of like, uh, my place, I don't think we've turned on the furnace, and it's cold. Oh, we had to turn ours on. You cranked it up? I didn't crank it, but it's on. Yeah. Feels nice. Cozy inside. You look outside, it's all kind of gloomy.

And you just close the curtains and watch Netflix for hours. Yeah, man. It's crisp. That's what it is. It's crisp That's what it is It's crisp This is an expression That people are using now That I don't know As a married man

Uh Netflix and chill Uh What does that mean It means uh It's like uh Hey Come over watch Netflix

And chill It means We're gonna have sex But it's like A coy way Or like a I'm not Asking you to come over Explicitly but we know we're not going to finish watching this 30 for 30 about a college player who died.

I know that one that you're talking about. And, uh, yeah, I guess so. I guess like I get it because, but then here's the thing. If I've been told that there's going to be Netflix, like, I get it. Because, but then. Here's the thing. If I've been told that there's going to be Netflix, that's what I want. I think this is the usually, well, I don't know. Who's initiating this? Not Graham. No, I'm just showing up because I was told there was Netflix.

And you don't have that at your home because the power's out. Yeah. Was there a storm? We forgot to pay the bill so so this power's out i go on tinder i start looking for somebody who has power and netflix yeah well you can use my password for now. Yeah. Netflix and chill. And then I, but, but I, before I go over, I make sure, have you decided what we're going to watch? Cause I don't want to spend 45 minutes just cruising around. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. The options. I do. Do you? I mean, that is part of the experience. Uh huh. But it's, it's, um, yeah.

but it's it's um yeah uh i think if you if you're the person who wants to initiate sex you are fine with watching whatever yeah but then i we're watching this documentary about the temples sagrada familia yeah but see but you don't want to accidentally watch something that makes that vilifies sex you know what i mean the murderer was sex and you find out in the first five minutes right when you're about to make your move no but you don't like a movie a movie where it's like the sex is you know it's traumatic or something and then you're like oh it's going to be hard to transition into real world sex. There's a thing on Netflix that I've noticed of movies that look like they might have nudity or like too sexy that get super low ratings. Like people go out of their way to be like don't don't don't bother no or if it's people that are like it's sinning don't i'm giving one stars for sins i like that we it

may be as a culture that there's so much access to internet nudity that we may have gone kind of slingshot around the sun back to, I just want to watch a movie and accidentally discover some nudity. Yeah. Yeah. Retro nudity. That's my Netflix and chill. That's my anti-drug. Yeah.

I know. I haven't heard that expression. Oh, well, you're a swinging single you're gonna i'm out there drinking cocktails uh-huh you're uh talking to bartenders yeah i'm uh inviting uh people into the bathroom to do lines this is all single people lines from your play from our favorite movies yeah yeah, to do lines because I have an audition in the morning.

Yeah, sure. And you're like, you're a Neo-Maxo Zoom dweeby. Like, I'm auditioning to be Bender from the Regnard's Club. If Andrew gets up,

we'll all get up. It'll be anarchy. It's my fresh take on Bender. Look, pretty great. So that's my summer. Well, I mean, whatever. Yeah.

Like, I got more stories, but. You know, you got to parse them out over time. You know what? Nature giveth and it taketh away. Does nature do that? I mean, a lot of people do it. Yeah. A woman scorned.

A father knows best. Golden girls. Yeah, all of these. Did you see that thing online? Yeah, when are we going to. The golden girls thing? About how many people they had sex with? Yeah.

Men, I guess. Yeah. They were all straight. They were all straight, but I feel like of the group, Blanche would have... You know what I mean? She would have been open to... Oh, she's game for anything, yeah. Yeah.

So, we know how many people they had sex with. We know what the Good Day from the Ice Cube song was. Oh, yeah. We know what movie Alanis Morissette went down on Dave Coulier. We do? They did one thing on it. I didn't buy it. What movie did they say it was?

Like it was. The Bruce Willis one where he works a Reebok? Part of the thing was that it was a super unpopular movie. So the movie theater was empty enough that that could go down, so to speak. Yeah. It was like the logic didn't really work for me, but what's next? Or are we done with these? I don't think we're done with them.

I just don't think we've figured out the next. But yeah, it would have to be something that took, like, because they tried to figure out what day Ferris Bueller skipped. Oh, yeah. But the things didn't line up. Like, that parade doesn't happen. When the baseball season's on. Exactly. All that kind of, like, you know, like, because it's a movie of, it's a fictional movie about a guy who doesn't exist.

Yeah. They're like, but what day was it? You know, like, I'm sure there's some other. Like, what's a popular movie that has. A day. Yeah, or that has, like, things. Like, that it took place in the modern real era. Yeah.

You know, like, what was the. Like, days of confused. Did they mention. It might even be the first shot of the movie. Like, you know, June 1978. But what about. Because the ones that you want to know, like, what did Bill Murray's character whisper into Slimer's ear? Like, this isn't a real ending to a movie. That's what he whispered.

He whispered. This is a cop-out. Yeah. Like, this, I could be saying anything. Who gives a shit The people just like The giant intersection That's why they watch

This movie And your butt And I sing An Elvis Costello song With an inside out Camouflage t-shirt These are things I remember

Yeah yeah yeah This is the movie In replay And maybe Seth Green is in it For Giovanni Ribisi Oh yeah

Maybe The rich man Seth Green for Giovanni Ribisi? Oh yeah, maybe the rich man Seth Green is Giovanni Ribisi. Sure. Zenud Seth Green. Oh, is he? Gio? Yeah. Lifelong, I think. Going clear. Good for him. And his sister is married to Beck.

Oh. Beck Ribisi. And his sister was in Dazed and Confused. She was the red-headed one. Oh. Beck Ribisi. Beck Ribisi. And his sister was in days and confused. She was the redheaded one. Oh, really? Mm-hmm. Ah. Oh, things are really.

Well, it's just things you learned growing up in Hollywood. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is, yeah, exactly. This was just everyday lunchtime conversation. Yeah, this was just a Hollywood high. Them, uh, Ledger Wood, Billy Zane. Coach Billy Zane. Yeah. them uh ledger wood billy zane coach billy zane yeah uh oh did you hear it speaking of coach that coach reboot has been shelved i don't understand why especially when i read uh some hollywood blogger said if the coach why why i found this out i don't know but they were like if the coach

reboot is successful they'll look at an alf reboot those related i don't know but if the coach reboot is successful they should look at a wings Yeah, that's true. Or we're thinking of a Dauber spinoff. Sure, yeah. Well, they should think of that. Why did they, why was the coach reboot on the books? I do not know. And what went wrong with it that they had to shelve it? Could it be that Jerry Van Dyke was ancient back then, and now he's a fossil.

But it's like, I don't know. There's some, and why not Major Dad? Why is Major Dad not under consideration? Bring back, what was his secretary's name? Connie? I never saw a single frame of Major Dad. I don't know why, but I feel like it was on after a show I liked. The Nanny? Yeah, it was the...

It was the Palak Panda? Yeah, it was like... It was a little more adult? A show I liked, and then Major Dad had a... Its opening sequence was him, like, dressing up as a major. For Halloween? Yeah. It was about a kid who dressed as a major it was also like as a concept of a show

it's not like mr mom which was like an 80s thing can you believe uh dad is trying to raise kids yeah or dad's like cooking and changing his baby uh An army guy has a family. That was the premise. Yeah. Yeah. I think his secretary's name was Gunny. Why? Maybe I don't know the military that well.

But why does a major need a secretary? I don't know. I guess he's like a secretary of defense. Got to think about that. I mean, don't write me with what goes on in the daily life of a major. I didn't see Major Dad. I don't know. I feel like that's another show that I don't know why exists. Like, I don't know why Coach existed because it's just a show about a coach.

But you never saw the players he was coaching. It was about the personal life of a coach so it wasn't about coaching no that's right so it could have just been about it could just yeah that's true like called guy like a man oh yeah like but he had other coaches that he worked with yeah and he had an office that had a football and i have to remind you that it was a theme song was the fight song yeah that's true but what but it would always just be him like just after a game had ended or just before practice but there was no actual coaching that you ever saw no or even like maybe he watched some film yeah yeah that's right but even though i would watch some even then, it was like generic footage of state university versus university state.

Yeah. But it's just such a weird, like, it would be like having a cop show, but the whole show just takes place at the cop's house. And you just only hear like whoa what a crazy day cop dad he's a dad and a cop yeah can you believe cops are allowed to inseminate women oh yeah it's the 90s yeah anybody could have a kid. Major dad. Dog dad. Ice cream dad. Yeah. Wait.

Is the ice cream dad like a fudgesicle that had sex? No, he's an ice cream man who has a kid. Then it's ice cream man dad. Yeah, you're right. Graham? Yep. How was your August? Where were you?

I was in... Where have you been? I've been looking all over. I was right behind you i was following you sure rainy in the closet or under the bed under the rug what is that this love is really making me bug i need love it's ll cool j nice yeah i was hanging out with all the cool j this oh my god yeah we did the show uh sing a funny song lip sync a song that he's the host of are you certain about that he is the host of lip sync show uh-huh and that

not wayne brady no for sure it's l l cool j oh wayne brady might be guess the next lyric yeah no yeah l cool j l l cool bean did you see that thing uh joey fatone wrote a letter to uh one direction one direction and everyone believed it but it was not real so joey fatone didn't write the letter well no he did not it's one thing that a lot of people don't know joey fatone illiterate yeah he dictated the letter yeah to lance bass the only one in the group who knows how to type traveling secretary um yeah i uh i went to edinburgh scotland what was i gonna google just ll cool j if he hosts that show that i swear to god he hosts. It's called the Jimmy Fallon one. You know, it's on Spike TV.

I watched it so many times in Winnipeg. Excuse me. Of course he hosts a lip sync battle. All he does, his life is his lips. And his co-host is John Legend's girlfriend. Wife. Or wife. Yeah.

Chrissy Teigen? Yeah, Chrissy Teigen. I've never seen this show. Yeah, have you ever seen the thing they do on The Tonight Show where they lip sync? Because that's what the show is. Oh, no, I haven't. Yeah. But have you ever seen somebody lip sync before?

I've seen people post clips of people lip syncing. It's that. I'm better than that. I agree. We as a I'm better than that. I agree. We as a society are better than that. But also John Krasinski is somehow involved. He like. In the lip sync show?

Yeah. It was his idea. No, it wasn't. It was my grade seven teacher's idea you guys are all gonna you guys are all gonna lip sync a historical song yeah no we got to pick the song oh cool what was your song oh something guns and roses oh yeah lots did you do guitar solo yeah pretty. Pretty good. Non-stop. Yeah, I went over to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival.

Uh-huh. And the show. Did you check out the Edinburgh Minge Festival? Right, British people? And I did a show there, and it didn't go great. The show part didn't go so good. You did how many performances? It's 27 or something like that.

And did any of them go great? Yeah, some of them went really well. But the first three went so bad, I was like, oh, I'm just not funny anymore. I quit comedy. I was like, oh, well, I lost it in the on the flight because you had been doing the show up like here in town but then i was like in town and then in winnipeg and then in toronto yeah and montreal yeah and it worked well all those places and then the first three show first three shows that i did of the show went so bad and then i also did like a spot at another show and that also went

bad so i was like i was like okay well i guess that's whatever the meter on me being funny is up and then uh just started uh applying to university of phoenix and they said no we saw your act yeah and they're like you're not serious about success well but we are so play safe to go right out of crime yeah and uh and then the show's got like a little bit better but then they also like they got better and then worse like i've i've been seeing your tweets and i've been so worried about you yeah the show didn't go so well. And then one time you had a walkout. Oh, yeah. But also it was like somebody walked out and it was the show where my parents were watching the show.

Oh, your parents flew all the way? Well, they... They swam part of the way. Yeah, my dad... Well, my dad swam. My mom was in the support boat. So worried the whole time. And then...

He's been under there for a long time. Yeah, he swam underwater the whole time and then he's been under there for a long time yeah he's underwater and she kept sending him down sandwiches and ziploc bags i won't eat it if it's wet i won't trish um yeah and then the show by the last week it kind of had evened out but i didn't get good reviews or anything i didn't get any reviews for the longest time yeah and when i got them they weren't good right but i made it i made it to the end i didn't walk out i didn't cancel all the shows and be like screw you edmund so i went you know i did the whole thing i did it yeah i think what you should do yeah is just say it went great nobody nobody saw it that's like nobody listening is like

like they would they would believe they believe it absolutely but i was following a guy that i saw at a fringe festival i kept posting all this like good stuff and I'm like, yeah, but some of the shit must have not gone right. You know? So I was like, I'm going to do the opposite. I'm going to be like, I'm going to tell it how it is. Um, you, uh, cause you did the fringe festival two years ago and that went really well. Yeah.

It went all right. Really well. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. Can I say something as an impartial socket to me? Not about you.

Oh, okay. Just about everything? About the festival. Oh, yeah, yeah. Who, like, what is this thing? Like, it seems like something people go over, everybody loses money on. You might get to be on a dumb panel

on a stupid British TV show that no one will ever see, but British people will talk about, like, it's the greatest thing in the world. Hey, if you're British and you're listening, go suck on, well, I was going to say an egg, but then I was going to say a lemon because I'm not sure what you have over there. Yeah, they have both. Eggs and lemons. Lemon flavored eggs.

The fact that this thing is the thing for a month. I know. And it's like. But here's the thing. It does not matter at all anywhere except on like for 40 minutes on the BBC or whatever. Yeah. It's a weird. But like this is the weird thing because it's like you can go there and then if you do well, they book you other places you'll go to other countries and stuff like that right but if you don't do well you just go

there then you come home right but last time did you get booked in other places no this time did you yeah yeah you're going to rotterdam in the netherlands yeah yeah so anyone listening in the netherlands this is your chance graham will be there. Yeah. Hook me up with your salted candy, I guess, is what you have there? Dill-flavored vodka? That's Sweden. Oh, yeah, yeah. This is... What's in the Netherlands?

Salted fish. Can't eat it. It's marijuana. Oh, yeah. Bring me some of that. And prostitutes. Oh, yeah. Bring me some of that. And prostitutes. Oh, yeah. Bring me one of each.

And tulips. And those chocolate sprinkles you put on toast. Oh, what are those called? I don't know. We have some upstairs. They're called like yum-yums. Yeah. Yeah.

The weird thing about the Fringe Festival, if you just go over there and you're just like one person, it's like fine. There's like people who they got like a whole circus. Yeah. So I don't understand how that works. You can't make any money if there's like 16 people and they've got like, you know what I mean? You can't make any money here if there's 16 people. Yeah. I got to cut you out of the podcast.

I know. Because you're bringing in a circus? No, because margins are tight. Oh, I know. Yeah, yeah. Razor thin. I've got mouths to feed. That's true.

That is true. So I'll just join a circus. Please. Here's the weird thing on the flight over it there was a group of men that i was like oh these guys are a circus because stop saying circus oh but you had to see these guys like one, one guy was wearing, like, honestly. A singlet? Yeah, and he had a barbell with the round weights. No, he was wearing. One guy got a special kosher meal.

One guy got a special meal of fire. I'm a fire eater, he said. One guy got a meal of swords. Yeah, one guy was a mermaid. Merman. Oh, well, 2015, whatever. Stop cisgendering mers. Yeah, I'm mer cisgendered.

This guy, if you had to picture a guy, what was he dressed like in the off hours as a circus guy? What would he be wearing? Are you asking me this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. As a circus guy what would he be wearing are you asking me this yeah yeah yeah as a circus guy yeah like a guy who performs in the circus it's his off hour he's got to get a flight sure but also the year is 1931 okay what is he wearing like harem pants no like hammer pants no he's wearing coveralls or overalls overalls ohs. Oh, I was going to... Can I finish my costume? Yeah.

Hair and pants? Uh-huh. A giant turban? No. No, okay. A top hat. Okay. And like a dinner jacket, tuxedo jacket with no shirt.

This is his off hours. What does he wear during the circus? Like all that but sequined. Yeah. He was wearing, he looked, do you remember the Steve Martin movie, The Jerk? Yes. When he's part of the circus. Wait, is Tom Delouise in that?

He might have been in it. I feel like he might have a scene. Yeah. He was probably a new call rider. But wearing a flat cap, overalls. What's a flat cap? Like a driver's cap? Yeah, a driver's cap.

And a stripy shirt. Oh, like a mime? Yeah, like a mime. Yeah. And he was on the plane, this one dude, and he couldn't even walk up the aisle like a regular person. He was walking up the aisle all circus-y. So, you know know what do you do when your life is a circus you uh you go there and you do a show well but they were from montreal

to was there a direct flight to edinburgh uh from toronto so i was on a flight with everybody from canada that was good. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. And so, like, there were, like, people that were so excited about it. And I was like, temper your expectations. That was good advice. Yeah. But these circus guys, they were just so circusy.

Like, I'm surprised they weren't juggling limes and stuff. But I saw them. I was like, those guys are going to Edinburgh for sure. I know. Oh, circus folk circus folk yeah the wolf face boy uh bearded lady uh the the tax-free american guy who doesn't have to pay taxes oh sure yeah you figured out a system are you describing a circus or a freak show i don't know know what I'm describing. Just listing things that I know. Like a lion. A lion's in a circus. Yeah.

Have you ever been to a circus? Yeah. When I was a kid, we went to the Shrine Circus. That's one. Yeah. That's what I went to. Barnum and Bailey. That's another one.

Yeah. But I went to it when it was like. Princess Cruises. What? Oh, I can't think of a circus. So I'm trying to remember the name. Cruise Lines. I can't think of circuses so i'm trying to name cruise lines uh i can't alaska alaskan cruises yeah um caribbean cruises but like the weezer cruise shrine circus weezer circus they would just have the 311 circus that's what it was like you could

still just be cruel to animals and people. Yeah. So it was like. Now you can only be cruel to people. Yeah. They would bring out an old elephant. They'd have a lion. They would have the car, tiny little car with a clown driving it.

Trapeze guy. When did people get the memo that, oh, this is sad? Not like, I was probably 19. They were still having it in Calgary. Well, it's a cruel town. That's true. Cause they still have the goddamn stampede. Speaking of, we'll be there in October at the YY Comedy Festival.

Yeah. Yeah. At the Loose Moose Theater. Yeah. Get your tickets. Yeah. Get, come get loose and eat some complimentary moose. Yeah.

No, I mean like a chocolate, chocolate moose. Oh, but complimentary? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't worry, I got a hookup in Calgary. You got a moose hose? Yeah, yeah. I got a guy named there, Vidal Sassoon. I'm sure.

Well, and this is our promise to you, anyone who comes to see us in Calgary. If you don't look good, we don't look good. And we guarantee you'll look good. Yeah, you're going to like the way you look. That's right. That's our two-pronged guarantee.

Yeah, if you don't look good, we don't look good. We guarantee you'll look good and you're going to like the way you look. Now, furthermore, I once saw Cirque du Soleil. Oh, yeah. Same here. Yeah. Did you like it?

Yeah. I was too worried about the performers. Oh, you didn't? Something was going to get hurt. You weren't worried that a check was going to bounce? Yeah, the whole time I was thinking about my rent. Why did I go through the circus

on the first instead of paying the rent? And why did the circus allow me to pay with a check to my landlord? This is a post-dated check to my landlord. But I'm going to turn it over

to you, Circus. Yeah. Don't cash this before the fifth but the circus is only in town for one night why did they set up that tent no the circ stays yeah the circ does a long run um they're coming back i think really man they come back like twice a year but good circus but they don't't ever bring the Beatles one or whatever. No, that's true. They always bring something, you know.

Generic. Yeah. Generic in French. Yeah. Cracoo. And then you're just like. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Emotions, feelings. Sure, sure. A little bit of bullshit. Some really like muscular men and really muscular women. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then tiny little girls. Yeah.

It's a real watching the Olympics spectacular. It's a real watching the detectives spectacular. Elvis Costello's there. I've seen him. I've seen him around town. The, what was I going to say? Oh, yeah. I saw this one show in Edinburgh.

Well, I saw a bunch of shows, but I saw. Yeah, what else were you going to do? Netflix? Yeah, exactly. And chill? No, I had no chill. I saw a guy called Puddles, the singing clown. Oh, he's famous.

He's famous. He's internet famous. He's a really good singer. So I saw his show twice how long a show is it an hour he sings a lot of songs is every show in the whole festival an hour uh some of them are only like half an hour okay maybe there's some that are longer an hour but i didn't go to any of those i'm only interested in an hour show in and out, but I saw a show by this guy and it ties into the whole Cirque du Soleil thing.

Uh, this guy called Daniel Kitson. Have you ever heard of this guy? It's like a comedian. The name rings a bell. Anyways, he's like, uh, he was like a, he sang wild thing in the eighties. Yeah. Yeah. This is a long curly, uh, blonde hair.

Uh, yeah. Sam Kinison. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the 80s yeah yeah this is a long curly uh blonde hair uh yeah sam kinnison yeah yeah yeah uh so this guy did a show where he handed out uh 15 speakers that were all uh connected to like an ipod shuffle i want to hate it no no i want to hate it no no you would enjoy it uh well no you don't like theater things though maybe yeah so Yeah. So you would hate it. But anyways, he interacts with all 15 of these things. The people don't have to do anything. They just hold the speakers. But the whole show, see him talking to these 15 different characters.

They're all in the thing. And I watched it with a past guest, Mark Forward. And we both said the exact same thing when we left. We were like, we were both so worried. What if one of those shuffles fucked up? That would, that would be the whole show. It was connected to 15 shuffles? 15 different shuffles fucked up that would that would be the whole show it was connected to 15 shuffles 15 different shuffles what yeah 15 different shuffles all with one long track on each one and he had it all all synced up so he could interact and they would

interact with each other it was that is hair raising yeah it was like watching the cirque de soleil thing i was like i'm so scared i I am so scared. This is going to fuck up. Cause, and we were in a tent. And it must have at some point. I was so glad it did. Like in some time, like even before the festival.

Yeah. Right. Where one just, somebody pressed it wrong. Uh huh. Just, or somebody was a jokester. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Or one just stopped playing for whatever billions of reasons that a shuffle doesn't work. Power. Yeah. Power. It being a shuffle.

Uh-huh. Et cetera. What's a shuffle? Is it the one, the little tiny one, the little tiny square? Does it have a screen? No, no screen. Oh! Yeah, I know!

Yeah. I guess that even makes it easier. It does, but it also makes it scarier. Yeah, but then you're like, just put it on hold. Put the hold thing in. Yeah, yeah. So that was the most hair-raising thing. I was like, ugh.

I didn't ask. I didn't ask what the most hair-raising thing was. But I guess circus. We got there from circus. Yeah, we got there from circus. And you saw our friend Colt Cabana? Yeah, yeah. I saw.

I didn't get to actually. No, I did. did i saw him wrestle i saw him do his actual wrestling there's a show that they do in the fringe they've done it for three years it's called the wrestling it's only one night and it's this big thing and it's 15 wrestlers and 15 comedians that have been training as wrestlers and it's a battle royale and it was so much fun and it's in a real wrestling ring and it's real wrestlers it was really enjoyable and i saw a cult he was like a big which one was he a wrestler or comedian oh he straddles the line that guy oh funny and wrestling he's got Oh, he's so wrestling. He is. And so I saw him over there. And, you know, I went on a date with two clowns.

Did I tell you about that? No. We just saw each other for the first time today. So on Twitter, right, I went and saw this show with these two lady clowns called Morrow and Jasp. They're from Toronto. Yeah. So I went with a bunch of Canadian folk. We all went and saw the show.

And then I wrote a tweet where I was like, I guess I'm attracted to clowns now. Oh, were they attractive clowns? Yeah, yeah. And then they saw the tweet. Then they wrote back and I was like, uh-oh. Because actually, like, for the longest time I've been afraid of clowns? Yeah, yeah. And then they saw the tweet, then they wrote back, and I was like, uh-oh. Because actually, for the longest time, I've been afraid of clowns. Do they share a Twitter account?

Yeah, they have a joint Twitter account. That's awkward. Yeah, who am I talking to? Everyone in the audience, do your parents share an email address? And is it really just your mom? I think my parents have a joint email address. The same with mine. Yeah.

And it's just my mom uses it. They also have their own, but I think they do a lot of business on that joint account. And Abby's parents, they, I think Abby's mother is just like the couple one, and then Abby's dad has her. Do you have, you and Abby ever think about getting together? No, because we're from the new generation. See, but you'll have a joint whatever. Yeah, we'll have a joint Blitzo account. Absolutely, we'll have a joint Blitzo account.

We'll post pictures of our various cacti. So you went on a day with clowns. Yeah. But see, this is the thing, is I didn't know when I agreed to it if they were going to show up as two women or as two women who are clowns. Or one of each. That would have been great. Because then I would have been like, get a load of this clown to the not clown. And then side with the not clown and be like, why is she not?

You know what I mean? Why is she whacking so they showed up as clowns and and you know they didn't go anywhere uh on netflix no chill yeah it was all net yeah they put sprayed seltzer down my pants to make sure i wasn't getting a bone were they doing clown stuff the whole time yeah the whole time yeah oh come on guys and i thought you really liked him. Yeah, exactly. I didn't think we were just clowning around. But here's the thing. I was talking to my parents, who were over there, and they said they were very surprised.

They were like, I'm very surprised that you went out with clowns and also went to go see a singing clown. Because you have been afraid of clowns for a long time and they were able to pinpoint where it started oh was and i didn't have any recollection of this but my parents were like yep that's where it started yeah my dad's company christmas party they hired a shitty clown called Buddy the Clown. Okay. Nothing about this adds up. Oh. They had a company Christmas party that you could bring kids to. Okay. Yeah. Oh, and the clown was for the kids.

For the kids. It wasn't just the regular Christmas party. Oh, we brought our kids to it. You weren't supposed to do that. Oh, we hired a clown for the entire grown-up Christmas party. Or there's just a clown that worked in my dad's office. Yeah.

What does your dad do? Engineer? My dad operates, he does the accounts for a circus. Is he an engineer? Yes. Okay. Hello. Hello.

So Buddy the Clown apparently was a clown. He would get kids up on stage and he would get you to do stuff. And then if you fucked up. Wait, wait. He would get you to do stuff? Yeah, he'd get you to take off your shirt and he'd be like, be a muscle man. Wait, are you joking? Be Tarzan. No, yes, of course I'm being joking.

He would get you on stage. I don't know. It was the 80s. Be a muscle man. I would have done it. Yeah, sure. I would have done it, too. I'd do it now if a club brought me on stage.

He's not a hypnotist. No, but I don't want to let him down. So, yeah, apparently, like, he'd get you involved in a magic trick or something where you would fuck up and then he'd be mean to you in front of all your peers what was the name chuckles buddy there's no buddy of mine so my parents were like yeah that's where that started and your brother cried every time that he was around this buddy the clown and he was like you kept coming around no it was like yeah you had a fling with your mother so that was but so like i really overcame something there yeah i really went through a journey now you

date two clowns at a time yeah yeah we went for milkshakes. It was fun. Oy, oy, oy. Clowns, put your makeup down when you're dating my friend. Yeah. Then I was trying to figure out how does it work? Do you just put on the makeup and then you're like, now I'm in clown mode. Look. I want to know how it works. It's a whole lot of bullshit.

My disdain for clowns. The way people are afraid of clowns, I've seen enough clowning. Yeah. You're wasting my time. Oh, this is authentic European clowning. Oh, can we not? Oh, brother. But that puddles, man. Yeah.

That guy's great. Sure. Tall. Yeah, nearly seven foot tall. He's huge. Uh-huh. And, uh. Did he do, uh, he did modern, uh.

Yeah, he sang a couple, yeah. Modern hits. Modern hits doo-wopped up or whatever, or like old-timied up? Not really. We'll never be royal. Yeah, he sang that song and this see a song shit swing from a chandelier and that's see ya no that's not who is that who's saying that song um chandler bing yeah yeah chandler chandler the rembrandt's no who's saying that yeah there you go and uh yeah no he was really good

and he does a great medley where he sings My Heart Will Go On and then segues into a Metallica song. Great. So I would recommend Clowns. Now, ask me a month previous and I would say I do not recommend them. Oh, so even after dating two clowns who showed up. Yeah, I pushed through to a new. Yeah, you did. Yeah yeah it's a new thing were they like zany the whole time yeah the whole time did they spill their milkshakes uh no but they

at one point she was playing a ukulele in the milkshake place one of them had a ukulele is edinburgh just like lousy with people in character yes at all times at all times yeah the whole city more so even than the last time i was there gives itself over to being the festival so every place is like a venue or knows that it's happening and it's everyone everyone knows uh well yeah i guess there's some people everyone this time when we showed up at the place we were staying at the first like literally the first thing that happened was two old ladies told us they're not french people and that not to wear clunky shoes in the hallway deal yeah she took a look at our shoes and said both of our shoes were okay

what was yours i was wearing clogs so she doesn't really know what clunky means what were your shoes they're converse because you wore some clunky shoes to my house tonight yeah that's true but you never warned me you said you are festival people and you don't mind my clunky shoes i just i want to know yeah i wore a pair of 90s, real chunky heels. Sure. A wedge. Yeah. They're popular.

They're back. Mm-hmm. So yeah, that's, you know, in a nutshell, went out on a date with some clowns, saw some wrestling. Did you kiss either of the clowns? No, no, no. Well, it's not a date. Yeah, that's true.

But I'd be afraid that, you know, there'd be like a sound effect that would happen. Yeah. You know what I mean? Oh, boy. You're going for that kiss. Yeah. You're getting the flower in the face. Yeah, or you get a wooga horn in the butt. Yeah. Because there was two of them. So, you know, they're working clown.

You know, I was surprised, like, at no point, one of them didn't,'t like crouch down And then they pushed me over the other one That seems like a thing clowns would do Buddy and his buddy I'm buddy's buddy The buddy of my buddy is my enemy

Do we Think we got enough out of this Oh yeah I mean I got tailed but like the same I'll parse out Do we want to move on To a Jumbotron segment I would love to Oh, yeah. I mean, I got tailed, but like the same. I'll parse out. Sure. Do we want to move on to a Jumbotron segment? I would love to.

It's Jumbotron time. This week on the Jumbotron, we have a message from Brad Rau. Brad Rau. At bradrau.com. His debut novel, The Ghost Josephine, is on sale now. It's an adventure story. It's an adventure story. It's a ghost story. It's funny. And it's sad.

Pretty much everything you want in a novel. He asks you, is there an opportunity to win millions of dollars by figuring out a puzzle built into the plot? That would be the greatest. That would be the greatest. So I'm guessing the answer is yes. Unfortunately, the answer is probably not. but that doesn't rule it out. There's always an opportunity to make money if you use our system. Yeah, that's right.

We have lots of satisfied customers, mostly at the top of this triangle shape. Yeah, this three-dimensional triangle. But there's only one way to find out for sure. You have to go to bradrau.com. That's bradrau.com. Yeah. Or you could just go to amazon.com. Yeah.

Search for it there. It's called The Ghost Josephine. Do you remember those books where they had a bunch of puzzles and you could, uh, win a prize to like Disneyland. Highlights for kids? Or, no, like, was it the, were they by Graham Base? Was it like Animalia? Was it the 11th hour? Are these things I remember from childhood?

These are things you would read a book and then solve a mystery and you'd go to Disneyland? And it would be like a page of just stuff that starts with the letter A, but there would be like 600 things on the page and you would have to figure it out. Oh, yeah. No, I don't believe I... I was mostly into ghost stories. bradrow.com

Yeah. Do you want to move on to Overheard? I do. Hi, everybody. I'm Justin McElroy. And I'm Dr. Sydney McElroy. Every Tuesday, we bring you Sawbones, a marital tour of misguided medicine, a show about all the dumb, weird, terrible ways that we've tried to fix each other over the years.

You know, some light summer listening. Maybe you want to hear about yogurt enemas, or why we tried to eat mummies for a while, or why drinking cholera diarrhea sounded like a good idea. That and so much more is waiting for you every Tuesday right here on the Maximum Fun Network with Sawbones, a marital tour of misguided medicine. I'm Cameron Esposito. I'm Rhea Butcher.

I am Ricky Carmona. And we are the cast members, what? I don't know. Podcastiness of Wham Bam Pow. That's an action sci-fi movie podcast you can find on MaximumFun.org or on iTunes. And what do we do? News reviews and things you can use.

Tons of things you can use. We break it down so it can forever be broken. Hilarious jokes. Plus sometimes there's a dog in the studio. Sometimes there's a dog here. We'll see you in your earbuds. Overheard. Dave, because we don't have a guest, do you want to start on Overheards?

What is this? Oh, Overheards. It's a segment in the podcast. It's a lot of podcasts do it. I think it should be in the Podcast Hall of Fame. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who else is in the Podcast Hall of Fame? You've got...

Okay, so it starts with Overheards, number one in the Podcast Hall of Fame. Yeah, and then the same year that that gets admitted, what else? Ben Hammersley, the guy who invented the word podcast. Yeah. gets admitted uh what else ben hammersley the guy who invented the word podcast yeah um uh the the good people over at lips in a lifetime oh boy oh yeah they're still using the logo with a little spaceman driving an old-timey ipod yeah yeah uh and uh you know and then just headphones just the idea of headphones will may will be in the first year you can't put, and then just headphones. I'm sure. Just the idea of headphones will be in the first year. You can't put everybody.

And then somebody who's passed away. You only put in one person who passed away every year. Yeah. So, you know. Which makes for a pretty short montage. Blip. Don't applaud until the very end. Because it's rude um uh let's not uh try to figure out who has no no of course it's uh it's no good um now uh dave yeah because we don't have a guest do you

want to lead the charge on the on the overheards uh yeah um now i told you about my trip to Gabriel Island. Yes. Uh, I took a flight there. I had to take a bus to the flight and I've, I've walked to work. I drive, I own a car. Yeah. I let my wife have it all day, every day. Yeah. Uh, and.

Let your wife have it. Oh boy, let her have it. Um, but not abuse wise, sex wise, but let's be yeah let's be honest car wise car wise automotively she oh she she gets it she was asking for it um uh but uh so i i took the bus down to the waterfront to take the seaplane. It was my first time on the bus in months. And it seems like the first time I take the bus after a long absence, something great always happens. And I was sitting across from this drunk couple on a Thursday afternoon. Oh, yeah. Three-ish.

Three-ish. Getting on a plane. They're making out. Oh, gross. Making out on the bus. Yeah. And she is holding a half smoked cigarette that's just reeking of the bus yeah but i guess she was like oh the bus arrived before i like the smokers are the only people who hope the bus doesn't get here as soon as possible. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The old rule is if you want the bus to show up,

light up a cigarette. Yeah. And, yeah, so she's holding a half-smoked cigarette. He's holding a smartphone playing... A half-vaped vape. Okay. Can we not with the vapes? Okay, sorry.

I feel like we've gone too hard on them That's true Also, let's give it a break with Guy Fieri I think he's probably an okay guy Yeah He officiated all those gay weddings Contractually, I'm sure I'm sure that the Food Network was like

You gotta clear your name, Fieri What? No way, he's cool He's cool i'm in the middle of my overheard he's the mayor of donkey sauce um uh not flavor town he lives in flavor town but he's the mayor of donkey which is a place yeah um okay he's holding she's holding this half smoked cigarette He while they're making out Is holding this smartphone That's playing Sweet Child of Mine

By Guns N' Roses God damn it It's couple And then he stops While they're He stops making out with her and says There's a message in the music And he says

And she says There is a message in the music and he says and she says there is a message in the music and he says where do we go where do we go now sweet child i thought he meant like literally like, we're listening to this on your phone and oh, there's a message. There's a message now. Oogie dook. Oh, that's funny. Yeah, there is a message. It's like Axl Rose knew. Yeah. Like, where do we

go now? To a KFC every night for years and years. Oh, boy. Did Guns N' Roses go or did Axl Rose go there every year? Yeah, yeah. Is that where he met Buckethead? He was working behind the counter. Well, you got a fresh look.

You shred? Yeah, I shred. That was good. Do you have one? Yeah. I have one courtesy of being on a plane. Uh-huh. Would you have one?

Yeah. I have one courtesy of being on a plane. Uh-huh. Next to two ladies who were just the worst, worst ladies. Clowns? Circus folk, because they were talking about offering juggling workshops. Circus folk talking on a plane. Yeah.

What do you think? What do you think? What do you think popcorn's like over in Scotland? Do you think they got circus peanuts over there? And this one lady of the two ladies had the most monotone voice. She talked like this the whole time. She would talk like this the whole time she would talk like this and she was describing that she never gets invited to dinner parties because her boyfriend is allergic to coconut i was like that's not why your voice yeah it's your voice general personality your circus affiliation

what is your boyfriend allergic to again oh we're making thai food again oh we're making uh coconut chicken oh we well we were just gonna make regular chicken but then your boyfriend yeah we found out your boyfriend's allergic to coconut yeah oh yeah coconut cream pie coconut milk shakes yeah there's not a lot of things that have coconut in it but she says that's why she can't go to dinner parties. Anyways. Pina Colada, is that a coconut drink? I don't know.

I'm not a big coconut guy. Are you allergic? No, I just don't like it. Oh, you don't? I like a little bit of it, but I never eat a bounty bar. Have you ever tried that yogurt that's got coconut in the bottom? No, is that good? I'll put a little coconut in your bottom you know what i like a fresh coconut that's really good whoa what do you want a deserted island what are you in a far side it's not it's not deserted there's a guy there that knows how to split open a coconut because if i

if i was on a deserted island and there were coconuts everywhere i would just starve to death people would be like why didn't he split open don't know how yeah remember my brothers and i found a coconut once when they like smashed it on the but in a parking lot so not a naturally occurring coconut yeah yeah out of a coconut tree yeah this was in uh this was in florida oh it was yeah yeah okay we found a coconut tree. Yeah. This was in Florida. Oh, it was? Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. We found a coconut and then we were like smashing it on like,

you know, the little cement things that you park up against? Yeah. We smashed it on that for like half an hour until it broke open and then we were just like.

Until our parents came and got it. Yeah, you kids, entertain yourself with that coconut. Turns out it was a rock they just painted. Yeah, my parents went and saw a movie. They went and saw Father of the Bright 2.

Speaking of coconut trees, do you know Mr. T took a pee in a coconut tree? I heard something about that. Where was that? Was it in Mexico? It was on the Tom and jerry show oh right mr t took a pea in a coconut tree on the tom and jerry show i also have very many verses of i'm popeye the sailor uh he lives in a garbage can yeah he eats all the germs and spits out the worms or vice versa that would actually be very helpful if there was somebody who could do that.

Eat all the germs out of garbage and then just give us clean worms. Okay. Okay. We also have overheards that have been sent to us from listeners all over the world. Give us clean worms. I don't know. I don't know anything about anything eat all the germs out of garbage well he lives in a garbage can he's got another better um if uh you want to send in an overheard to us send it in into spy at maximumfund.org. Uh, this first one comes from Meredith in Alexandria, Virginia, USA.

And, uh, I was in a small hardware store in my neighborhood. Fun. Yeah. Saws. Well, you don't have to go to Home Depot. It's just a neighborhood store. Yeah. Ben's hardware. Yeah. Yeah. What's good, Ben? Oh, you don't have to go to Home Depot. It's just a neighborhood store. Yeah. Ben's Hardware.

Yeah. Yeah. What's good, Ben? Oh, screws. Yeah. Hoses. So two kids around six and eight were shopping with their parents and talking about how much money they have, trying to top each other the way kids do. I have $20.

Yeah, well, I have 50 and so on. do i have 20 yeah well i have 50 and so on finally the older kid said well i would have 200 if it wasn't for the government true yep the kid knows how old were you before you had 50 uh i don't know probably 16 17 yeah i don't know I don't think I had any money when I was a kid. Yeah, me neither. I mean, I bought a Sega Genesis when I was four. No, you didn't. No. When I was like 11 or 12.

Yeah. Most of my candy, my financial advisor said, put all your money in candy. Yeah. Yeah. So it was like all money just equal candy. Yeah. money in candy. Yeah. Yeah. So it was like all money just equal candy. Yeah. Money equal candy. Yeah.

So I didn't have any money. And it's still the same today. I have a big bag of caramels at home. Yeah. But no money. It's a good investment. Yeah. Because they're going to last.

Especially if you suck on them instead of chewing on them. And what with the Canadian dollar, what it's doing now. Yeah. Yeah. That's a commodity I can get into. Yeah yeah and also there's an election coming up it's like you don't know how that election is going to affect but caramel's always yeah i got pig iron pig iron yeah yeah i and Duck Dynasty. This next one comes from Jake S. And he said, this is a very late overheard. Well, even later

because you don't read these for a year. Yeah, so this is from March but this takes place at Christmas time. I work as an IT guy for a boat maintenance company. They got a lot of IT needs. Our program doesn't know which one is starboard.

I'm sorry, Dave. Yeah. I can't let you jet ski today. I can't let you jet ski. I know less about computers than boats yeah that's true it's like fighting in my brain so i work as an it guy for a boat maintenance company i just tell them what they want to hear yeah exactly yeah anchors away guys and around christmas time some of the grizzled tattooed mechanics were talking about christmas music this specific guy with a neck tattoo and chewing tobacco in his lip shares with the group have you heard that bare naked ladies christmas song sarah mclaughlin

kills on it oh wow yeah so a guy. So a guy, a real tough nut. A tough guy, yeah. Likes not only the Barenaked Ladies, but their Christmas album. With Sir Mac Laughlin. That's quite the triumvirate. Uh-huh. What song do they sing? I don't know.

Probably Joy to the World, I guess. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I feel like I've heard this song This Yeah this duet But who would know Whether I had or not Well that's it For the show this week

No wait I have one more From Ellen H. From Dallas, Texas. Okay. What are you Googling? What do you think? The Barenaked Lady song? Yeah.

The whole universe was in a hot, dense space. And then 50,000 years ago, we had a bunch of things. And then we took a bagel to the third generation and the world came out a big big bang bang bang um god rest ye merry gentlemen ah there we go uh my seven-year-old son and his eight-year-old friend were playing super smash bros brawl in the other room they tend to try out ways to trash talk or talk tough when playing this game or talk smack or smack talk so that uh that explains why i overheard the eight-year-old say in a menacing voice let's go it's time for little miss muffet to go to her tough it's not bad That isn't bad.

Yeah, there's a spider there. Yeah, for kid tough kind of expressions, not bad. Yeah. Tough expressions for kids. Mm-hmm, kid tough. Trust kid tough. Yeah. For tough expressions for kids.

Yeah. Look for the kid tough certification. It's a... I'll put, yeah, little Jack Horner, et cetera. Mm-hmm. It's a kid tough certification. It's a... Oh, put... Yeah. Little Jack Horner, et cetera. Put him in his corner. Oh, sure. Nobody puts Horner in the corner.

Yeah. Boy Blue's got these whatevers. Someone's sticking his thumb in a pie. Yeah. Who put his thumb in the pie? Jack Spry? No. Jack Spry went into fry.

Eating his curds of pie. Eating his curds of pie. Eating his curds of pie. I can't remember who put his thumb in the pie. It was... Oh, boy. Well, okay. There was one pie that was just full of 20 40 blackbirds oh yeah 420 blackbirds 420 blackbirds right it was a weed pie right is it skunk in here no no

it's the 420 black they're baked in a pie oh dude we got there. But I can't remember. There was a guy. He's stuck. And then who kissed all the girls and made them cry? Remember that one? Mm-hmm. Tommy Tommy Butterfly. Tommy Iron Butterfly.

Yep. And then... Kissed all the girls, made them cry. Got his decree for him to cry. These are Mother Goose, right? I think so. They're just nursery rhymes. Yeah.

Yeah. Like, uh, the butcher, the baker, the candle maker. Yeah. What a bunch of knaves. Uh, ring around the rosy? No, that's not one of those. That's just a bunch of knaves. Ring around the Rosie? No, that's not one of those. That's just a playground. Playground. Playground.

Nice. Anyway. Well, yeah, write us at Write us your own nursery rhymes. Yeah, and tell us what you put in a pie. Now, coming out of this segment, it's the end of the show. No, it's not.

You know. Guys, we're so silly. Yeah. We also have overheards phoned in. If you would like to call us with your overheards, our phone number is 206-339-8328, like these people have. Hi, Dave and Graham, and wonderful, delightful guest. This is Matt from Brooklyn, New York, and I am calling in with an overheard. I was on the train yesterday, and there was a pretty drunk gentleman just cornering anybody who he could with all of his stories.

just cornering anybody who he could with all of his stories. He had a pretty amazing bleach blonde hair spiked up around the bald spot, really good look going. And he was telling this woman, you know, I've worked in lots of places. I worked in the music industry. I worked with record companies. And I just want to tell you one thing. Bobby Brown is the greatest. And then he rambled on for a few more minutes.

And he says, you know what? You know how I grew up? I grew up very, very, very, very Tony Braxton. Bobby Brown is the greatest. Yeah. Yeah. It was his prerogative. Uh-huh.

And despite what a lot of people said, ain't nobody humping around. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. He was not cruel at a time when he could have been cruel. Yeah, absolutely. And he had a roni. He was loyal to his roni. Yeah.

And on our own from the Ghostbusters 2 soundtrack. Yeah. He was also in New Edition. He played Bobby. Here's your next overheard. Hey, Dave and Graham and guests. This is Rachel calling with a great overheard from tonight. I just got back from seeing the Under the Sun tour

at the Lane County Fair. And about halfway through Sugar Ray's set, Mark McGrath was talking to the crowd, doing some shtick about the love he was feeling from the crowd and getting a little sentimental. And he said, if you keep giving us this love, I'm going to bring Under the Sun here every year. I promise that.

And a girl about three feet away from me shouted, once is enough for me. I mean, we liked it, but we don't want it. It would be a weird tradition of like, well, it's summertime. So this is the season

where we go see Sugar Ray. School's out. We're going are gonna go we're gonna dust off the picnic basket we're gonna go to the lake yeah we're gonna fall in love at a sugar ray concert so is the under the sun tour just sugar ray um or is that would be a thing i would go see if it was a bunch of acts from the 90s it is is. Oh, is it really? Yeah. So it's Sugar Ray and then. I believe Rachel has called into Jordan, Jesse Go with. The whole lineup? In honor of their summer boy summer.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. What was the name of this thing? Under the Sun? Under the Sun, yeah. Is that related to Under the Dome? Yeah, which was canceled, by the way. Really? Yeah, yeah yeah i'm sorry

so they're not going to be able to figure out and they're going to have to rush the ending of this show that was supposed to be one time yeah yeah they got to get canceled that was where i read about the coach getting shelved it was all in the same article oh no they air if not nothing the thing about sugar ray they had a lot of hits but if they were on a tour that was like marcy playground they only have one hit so it would be a hard tour to sit through okay so it's uh sugar ray yeah they've got i want to fly yeah they've got every morning yeah they've got mean Want to Fly. Yeah. They've got Every Morning. Yeah. They've got Mean Machine.

Don't you dare mess with my Mean Machine. I remember that hockey themed video. It did. Yeah. And then Better Than Ezra. Yeah. They've got Good. Good. They've got King of New Orleans.

No, they weren't Breakfast at Tiffany's. That was Deep Blue Something. Yeah. It's got Uncle Cracker, Follow Me, Everything is Alright, I'll Be the One to Tuck You in at Night. And it's got Eve Six, I Will Swallow My Pride, I Will Choke on the Rind, But I'll Act the Rebel,

Be the Empty Inside, Swallow My Doubt, Put My Insides Up, Find Nothing But Faith in Nothing, Want to Put My Tender Heart in a Bl watch me fall down to a beautiful oblivion rendezvous then I'm through with you yeah

I mean it's not a bad line oh am I origami but those are all bands that only have like one hit aside from Sugar Rain well I could name

your entire Better than ezra catalog oh yeah well yeah that's true so this would be a perfect thing for you from deluxe to friction baby oh yeah i bought it the day it came out the second better than ezra album do you want to know what date it was august 13th 1996 uh such clear memory i I went to Sam the Record, man. Last call in? Nah, let's skip it. This was fun. Here's your final overheard of 2015.

Hello, Dave, Graham, and co. I'm calling. This is Michael from Portland, and I'm calling with an over red. So I was reading a tub of kimchi at a local Asian market, and I was reading through the ingredient list, and the ingredients spelled out quite clearly said cabbage, radish, onion, salt, etc. You get the idea.

What do you care? You buy a whole tub of this stuff. You just have to read this? Yeah. Either you're buying a tub of kimchi or you're not. What are your favorite things to read? Like at a supermarket? Well, in general, what are your top five books?

Right now I'm reading the latest vanity fair magazine uh-huh who's on the cover taylor swift oh she's very hot right now she's very hot right now and i'm reading the article about the guy he's like a cosmetic surgery guy who like killed himself because like is he still alive no martin short played him in like unbreakable kimmy schmidt or something oh yeah he played a parody of whatever yeah so anyways i was just reading that did you see uh martin short play him in unbreakable kimmy schmidt yeah yeah very funny yeah it's very funny but i didn't know this the weird thing is like it's such a ludicrous character how could it be based on something yeah i didn't know there was a real guy.

Exactly. But then at the same time that it was a real guy, it's like, but nobody knew that. So they could have changed enough details so the real guy was like, oh, that's not me. And I still would have thought it was a funny character. And also. Like they could have just changed his hair. The Venn diagram of people who get plastic surgery and people who saw the unbreakable kimmy schmidt is does not overlap at all yeah exactly so it's weird that they would

like make so specific a thing about a guy yeah it's just like some guy like the fact that he found out about it is ludicrous yeah uh his friend ludicrous told him. Ludacris was getting some cheek work done. Oh, yeah. Cheek work. I don't know what people get done. Oh, people get cheek work. Yeah, absolutely. That's where everything sinks in over time, right?

Around the eyes, cheeks. What would you have done? An ear tuck. I'd definitely go for liposuction. That would be the first thing I would do. I'd get rid of the gut. Uh-huh. Get pec implants on my back.

Uh-huh. So I could be like, my pecs are back here. Yeah, ladies. Eyes up here and around. Around to the back. What would you get done? Oh, I'm perfect. Physically.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd have a lobotomy. Just stick some really long botox needle in there just swirls it around yeah this should do it yeah oh man well that that's the end of this year episode a longy yeah fun though a delonghi um the coffee maker if if you like the show head over to maximumfun.org check out the blog recap and if you like the show tell a hundred thousand of your friends we would love more listeners yeah and uh you know if you want to write a review on itunes uh go ahead we dare you the answer was jittle jittle lack cornerner. Little Jack Horner. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's right. Send us what you would bake in a pie. And we love you.

It's been a great summer. Let's get ready for fall. Let's get down to business. I don't know. It feels like a new chapter because we just pre-taped like 20 episodes. And now we're back to like live ones. But man, those pre-taped ones were great. Oh boy.

But you know, we got a new package of pencil crayons because it's fall. Time to sharpen them. Yeah, we got some Laurentians. Yeah. Oh, remember they came unsharpened? Mm-hmm. And then they had a little space that you could write your name on. Mm-hmm. Pretty good. But who did space that you could write your name on. Mm-hmm.

Pretty good. But who did? I knew one guy. His name was Brian. Because I probably still at my parents' house, there's probably a Brian pencil crayon floating around. Anyways. Go to MaximumFun.org and- Yeah, blog recap.

Check out the blog recap of things we talked about in the show uh you know picture of uh you know the second better than ezra album yeah exactly and uh you know maybe a singing clown oh yeah puddles yeah yeah and uh and if you like the show do tell your friends and come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself.