Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 393 - Chris Wilson

Episode Date: September 28, 2015

Comedian Chris Wilson returns to talk about fainting, go-karts, microwaves, and 1985.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody, welcome to episode number 393 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name's Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who will be joining me at the YYC Comedy Festival October 14th or 15th at the Loose Moose Theater. If you're interested in buying tickets you can go to Calgary, Alberta, Canada. Yeah.

You can go to yycomedy.ca probably. Yeah. You can go to... That's in Calgary, Alberta? Canada. Yeah. You can go to yycomedy.ca, probably. Yeah. You can go to Google. Yeah, go to Google. Look it up. And my name is... Oh, your name's Dave Shulka.

Thank you. And our guest today... Don't we usually have a little chitter chat before we... I know, but I was doing a plug thing off the top and you made me stop

after the first intro and I got all flummoxed. Here's another thing to plug. Next week, this show will be hosted by somebody else. Yeah. We're hoping that it's somebody from the original cast of Mad TV. Yeah. But, I don't know.

How many other people can you name? Dave Herman. Orlando Jones. The guy from, hop in anytime, guest Chris Wilson, Ron Peterson, Ron Peterson,

get out, get out guest, Nicole Sullivan, Sassow, Debra, Messing, Messing, Will Sassow is right,

um, but he wasn't on the original cast, was he not? No, are you sure? Positive, are you sure? Positive Are you sure? Michael

Winslow McDonald No He was later Phil Lamar Phil Lamar Yeah Woo

We got there Our guest today One half of the sketch duo Oh yeah So Dave Dave you're killing me over here Just so people know

We will be hosting another show In the Maximum Fun family next week, and someone else will be hosting this show. So don't freak out, but do freak out in a good way. Yeah, yeah. Have a... Nagila. Yeah.

And our guest today, Chris Wilson, one half of the sketch duo Peter and Chris. Award-winning sketch duo Peter and Chris. Yeah, we've won an award. Have you won the same award three times? We have, yeah. Yeah, we've won an award. And, uh, have you won the same award three times? We have. Yeah. Yeah. All right.

Ditto. Thanks for, uh, coming and being on the show. Thanks for having me. Did you win it this year? We lost it this year, but I was in the other sketch group that won it this year.

Oh, fun. It's called Get Some. Are you, uh, double dipping in the sketch world? I'm double dipping. We're talking about the Canadian comedy Awards for people on the out...

You know, people not lucky enough to be in the Canadian comedy industry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The outsiders looking in. Do we want to get to know us? Sure, what are you looking up on your phone? The original Mad TV cast. Of course. Get to know us.

So how many sketch troops are you currently in? Two. Just two? Yeah. Do you feel the call to maybe get into a third one? Get into a third one. Then you can get all of the awards, basically. Yeah.

If you're just in every group, then you're always. Yeah. Well, that's what Get Some Kind of Is. It's just like this group of people who in Toronto were. Who have Fridays off. Who have Fridays off and are in other sketch groups. And we're just like, well, let's just all get together. You're like a super group.

Yeah. You could call it a super group. You're the broken social scene of comedy. Yeah, exactly. The more you get together, the happier you'll be. Is that a song alert? Yeah. All right.

Okay, guys. Are you ready to go through the cast? Sure. And feel, you're going to feel so dumb about who you forgot. Brian Callen. Oh, yeah. Oh, shit. David Herman.

Yeah. Orlando Jones. Yeah. Phil Lamar. Yeah. Mary Shear. Don't remember. David Herman. Yeah. Orlando Jones. Yeah. Phil Lamar. Yeah. Mary Shear. Don't remember. Nicole Sullivan.

Yeah. Debra Messing. Yeah. Debra Wilson. And Artie Lang. Oh, Artie Lang. Artie Lang. I forgot he was on the original.

Yeah, he was the original Will Sasso. Yes. Right. Thanks. I got caught in an elevator with him and just relaxed. What do you mean, caught? Like, you got stuck? Well, it felt like I was stuck forever because I'm a little bit scared of closed spaces.

Right. So the elevator just, it was stuck for about 45, maybe 55 seconds, just like not going anywhere. And it was just you and Artie Lang? Me, Peter, Artie Lang, some strangers. I don't know. I was focusing on Artie Lang. Doors were closed. Doors closed, not going anywhere.

Mid-floor, the doors aren't opening. And we're just like, what are we doing here? And then it was probably less than 45 seconds, but I realized that I could probably faint from closed... Like a lot of people around. Oh, so you're really claustrophobic? Oh, I got tunnel vision blackout. I was like, I'm going to faint. I'm going to faint.

Really? I wonder if there's... Should there be like... People should have to wear a bracelet. I'm a fainter. But for situations where like if you have serious claustrophobia or agoraphobia. Yeah, or vertigo or something like that. So you can't be like, no one can be like, he's faking it.

Yeah, or people are trying to like give you insulin. They're like, yeah, I'm just claustrophobic. like give you insulin they're like yeah i'm just claustrophobic um have you ever fainted because you've been on closed space before no is that the first time where you're like holy shit like uh i guess i don't like this at all wow so yeah there's probably 12 people there's a packed elevator and then i just started feeling like oh i'm gonna have you fainted at all ever couple a couple times in the shower no way really how many people were in there with you and i had to i had to faint are you laying no just really you fainted in the shower i fainted in the shower how did you not hurt yourself very very bad he could have you don't know he didn't you don't know the rest? I fainted in the shower before. How did you not hurt yourself very, very badly? Well, he could have.

You don't know he didn't. You don't know the rest. No, I didn't. I was just like, I had the wherewithal. Oh. Good word. To know that I might faint.

And then I just kind of like sat on the, and then I came. You brought a chair into the shower with you. I came to, I came up on my chair. And then there I was Still in the shower But it was Yeah

Very strange I don't know Weird I fainted like Two or three times In the shower Like in the mornings Yeah that time

Was in the morning But Two Really Three times across my It could be just You're really sleepy And it's like

Oh you haven't quite Woken up yet I'm just going to grab A few more of these Yeah That's what fainting is Yeah Yeah Like every night When you go to bed You're really sleepy and it's like, oh, you haven't quite woken up yet. I'm just going to grab a few more of these. That's what fainting is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Like every night when you go to bed. When I go to bed. You faint eventually. Sometimes I, yeah, sometimes I wake up in the morning and I don't want to get up or faint for like nine minutes. Yeah. I have this machine that lets me faint for nine minutes. What is the definition of fainting?

Is it just that you completely Completely like you just black out And then you just Have you ever fainted? No I don't think so I fainted once but I was at a concert What was the concert? Bright Eyes But it was before Bright Eyes had started

It was Arab Strap Scottish Drone band So droney It was at the commodore ballroom and uh i had driven and this was the opening band and i was like okay i'm driving home yeah but we're not going home for like four hours i'm gonna have two drinks really fast at the very beginning i'll be sober by the end of the night bad idea anyway but it it was fine yeah but uh and i was sober but for the record that caused you but then i was just standing there and i just remember being like i i don't think i think i'm gonna have to sit

down and then i closed my eyes and i woke up and i was sitting on the floor weird yeah i remember there was a kid in uh biology class i probably have told this story where we were watching like an eye surgery video yeah which is like on the loose what is that it's that uh uh movie about slicing up eyeballs oh yeah no no this is from the pix song? This is a real, this was an eye surgery thing and the teacher said, if you're feeling dizzy or barfy, just put your head down

and that'll stop it. But one kid was like... But there were so many squishy noises in it. Yeah. This kid got up and decided to walk out of the class and he fainted

and went face first into a computer. Oh, Jesus. And this was the 90s, so it was yeah broke his tooth oof yeah last time i fainted like two weeks ago on a plane from edmonton back to toronto i took a pill and i fainted for like six hours and no did you really faint yeah well i i thought it would be a good idea to always book that early flight out. I love booking the earliest flight out of a city. I can, if I don't have to be there anymore, I'm gone. 6 a.m.

That's a bit early, but I am on board. Right. But it's like the closing night party of the Edmonton Fringe Festival. I was like, all right, well, I'm going to stay up all night right well i'm gonna stay up all night and for this so i stayed up all night and then drinking so much okay did all of the drugs no it was just just the beer uh but that i mean that was i don't know whether it's an altitude thing or it was just like i was i slept for one hour and then went to the airport and just got so nauseous on the plane. Like for the first time in my life, I was actually looking for that barf bag.

And I was going to use it. And instead of that, I just blacked out. Wow. And luckily I had a whole row to myself. I woke up probably 10 seconds later just laying down across the screen. Way better. Way better. Your brain's like, I just need 10 more seconds.

Have you tried unplugging it and plugging it back in? Yeah. Wow. And then I was fine, but I was sweaty. Yeah. Really sweaty. Yeah. Oh, yeah, for sure.

But, like, maybe that's a thing that you do maybe you just are a guy who it would be great if you could if you're shitty i'm a bit shitty yeah like because because people say that about like throwing up like oh just throw up you'll feel better but if you could just faint on command like oh you know what i fought it for a long time i'm just gonna faint real quick yeah yeah like one of those those goats that you scare and they faint yeah yeah i was thinking of going to the flight attendant and be like can i have some ginger ale i'm not doing very well just like but then there's the button that you can push yeah yeah i don't know did you remember that after no this is what i was like i had a very similar thing a few months ago except except I was on a full plane in a full aisle,

and I had the bag, holding the bag the whole time, and the judgy looks you get from people. Oh, I know. Yeah. Oh, really? Is this your first time flying? Is this a thrill ride for you? And then I called the flight attendant over.

Can I get some ginger ale? And she was like, we'll be serving drinks in a bit. What's the button for that? flight attendant over. Can I get some ginger ale? And she was like, we'll be serving drinks in a bit. Oh, what's the button for that? I had been working up the courage to do it for like 15 minutes. I've never pushed that button.

No, I've never. I did it as a kid. I pushed it by accident. Oh, we all do that. Sure. I did it as a kid

pushing every button because, you know, what does this do? What does this do? Yeah, yeah. Oh,

this makes the lady come over and then turn off the light for you yeah no i haven't uh even if i was stuck like in an elevator i wouldn't call the emergency call probably for like five or ten minutes i'd be like i'll just wait this yeah maybe they're busy yeah yeah i'm not gonna i'm not gonna cause a fuss anybody we live uh right by this uh utility box Like there's just out on the sidewalk By the sidewalk there's a Utility box that belongs to Telus the telephone company

Sure yeah I know about them Someone comes By every few weeks and opens it up And it's full of wires and they do whatever Yeah and it like it hums All the time And then one day It was just open like the lock was off and the

door was open and the wires out and i couldn't get a hold of them like how do you i'm not a customer of theirs i was just trying to do them a solid yeah yeah and i was like i'm not gonna wait for 45 minutes on hold to talk to like a salesperson. And the person's like, look, we don't have a guy that can come and fix it, but we need you to do some. It's very, you just need you to switch a couple of wires. But first, are you looking for telephone service? Because we got some dynamite deals. There's also, I think in like movies, there were different power boxes like that have a phone in them. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That the guy can call head office or whatever. But it was like you call up any utility, you call them up. Yeah. And the first thing is like, what's your phone number? What's your account number? And then just answer us. Like it wasn't even a touchtone. I was like, just say your problem.

And I was like, one of your boxes is wide open. I don't know. I'm not a customer of yours. Can I just speak to an agent or something? Sounds like you want home internet service. One of those things being open on my walk home from elementary school. And all the wires. This would happen a lot, too.

There would just be loose wires on the ground. Not attached to anything. And we would pick them up, like, weekly and then make bracelets out of these wires. Friendship. Like friendship bracelets. Yeah. Wow.

They were lovely. That's got to be some violation of union rules. No, no, it's fine. Just leave wires. Like, the box was open just box would be i don't know whether it's open or shut but there'd be loose wires we found a crowbar yeah pride open for sure my friends and i were like fascinated by those boxes like when we were kids like i remember like thinking like how can we smash the lock off? What's inside? Just electricity. That and like the boiler room at school. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. The guy who comes out of there never looks happy. Yeah, the boiler room is one of those things. Also, the corridors and malls, you know, like let's say employees only. Oh, yeah. Where does this lead? Yeah, yeah.

All the hallways. Because after I saw Terminator 2, I remember being like, I want Yeah, yeah. All the hallways. Because after I saw Terminator 2, I remember being like, I want to get in one of those hallways. See what goes on. Terminator-wise.

Oh, sure. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Get yourself a dozen roses, hide a shotgun in them. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know what I want to do. So, you're in Toronto. You know what I want to do. So, you're in Toronto. You're going to be soon living with Nicole Passmore. That's true. That's what we know. Yeah.

I've moved in. I'm all set up. She moves in on September 10th. This is like a whole bunch of people in it. Which is already in the past. It's already in the past as of this recording. Yeah. Not even of this listening. Yeah.

It's true. It's just the past uh so i'm living with her she lives on the second floor uh-huh oh like my friend luca do you have a friend luca upstairs my name is luca i live on the second floor is this a real reference it's a it's a reference i live upstairs from you and I bet you something saved me before. If you hear something late at night, some kind of struggle, some kind of fight, just don't ask me what it was.

Next time he says a reference, just say yes. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Move forward. Luke.ke yeah don't be like what is that oh is that a suzanne vegas yeah is that a thing um and you love living in toronto i like living i i'm in love with it is this like the topic of the show yeah yeah living of every episode like so what do you like about living in Toronto? No, the theme of the episode should be more Susan Fagin songs.

Oh, okay. There it is. I know that one. There it is. Yeah, it was the world's first MP3. Was it actually? Is that really? Yeah.

Wow. My first MP3 was Limp Bizkit. Which one? So, a fat lip. Oh, yeah. That's the first thing I downloaded. And then my dad was like, what is this? You are in trouble.

Yeah. Oh, really? How old were you? Grade six. Oh, wow. That's early for Limp Bizkit. Shouldn't be downloading. No.

Because he didn't know what that was. Yeah. Downloading. How did you figure out what downloading was? A friend from school? Friends from school. Did you use Napster? I was using, yeah, Napster at first, and then there was LimeWire.

Oh, yeah. And then BearShare. Are these for Macintosh? These are for Windows PC. Oh, really? I remember LimeWire. We had something called Kazaa. I remember Kazaa.

And there was some city, something city, share city. SimCity. SimCity. That's a video game. Yeah, I know, but I would... Completely different. You could program in MP3s to play. Oh, could you?

Could you really? No, I don't know. Maybe. I remember giving a friend like a list of uh songs i'm like can you go home and download these and then burn a cd for me i give him 10 bucks oh nice business he had a business he had a bunch of people hey you know what you could buy for 10 bucks a cd no i wanted that mix cd yeah yeah all of the hits do you uh do you would you mix them by genre they were just like i want hits just all you know lay them out in an in an order that i

thought would be like like really ease me into this mix like started off strong with a banger by song three you're like like a little dip it down a little bit yeah yeah bring it down then bring it back out sure yeah uh plan sure yeah what else were you listening to limp biscuit that seems like that would be a great you're a few years younger than us yeah yeah a grade six that's like really like let's push the boundary yeah for us it was like porno for pyros these are my two favorite things in the name of a band. The second song that I ever downloaded, I think it was like, I don't know.

It was like a Cardinal office shop. Sure. Sure. Um, Oh, but then I, the first CD that I ever bought with my own money. Yeah.

Presidents of the United States, the peaches, their first album, little figurines on it. That what it is. Was that what it was? I can't remember. With lump? L the little Figurines on it Is that what it is? Was that what it was I can't remember With Lump

Lump Lump was on it What was the first CD I bought? I can tell you It was not with my money It was in 1989 When my dad bought

A CD player And we each bought a CD And mine was The Batman soundtrack By Prince Good pick Oh Yeah

Really good pick This shows the difference My second CD Was the Batman soundtrack by Prince. Good pick. Oh. Yeah. Really good pick. This shows the difference. My second CD was the Batman soundtrack. Batman Forever, though. Ah, yeah. With U2, Kiss From a Rose. No.

No, Seal. Sorry, Seal. U2 was Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me. Yeah, yeah. Ah. Oh, yeah. That was a good one. That was a good soundtrack. Yeah.

Yeah. Almost as good as the movie Susan Vega was on there probably Maybe she was That movie is terrible Batman Forever And yet people pick on Batman and Robin Yeah Well that one's worse sadly

There are two really bad ones Was Batman Forever I haven't seen it since I saw it. For me, it was all about Jim Carrey. It was like at that point in my life, it was Jim Carrey's the shit. Yeah, that's true. I'm watching Batman Forever. Kind of blindly follow him wherever he's going.

Yeah, exactly. Followed him into some pretty bad films. The Majestic. I'm looking at you. You've still followed him that late? That's pretty late. Well, he kind of like... First of all, he was like in grade four at that point.

Yeah, but I understood. I always had my finger on the pulse. When Majestic came out, you were 23. But he made a string of great comedies. And then he kind of started going kind of wiggly. Yeah. And then he made a couple cool dramas. Uh-huh.

And then I don't know what the fuck happened. Then I don't know what happened to Jim Carrey. He kind of... Last I saw him, I was watching an episode of Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee. Oh, is he in that? Yeah, there's a Jerry Seinfeld... Yeah, yeah. An episode with him. And he's very, seems very Buddhist and very like, just chill.

Yeah. Made back. Yeah, you can do that when you have, you know, $75 million in the bank. Well, no, anyone can be chill. No, you need 75 mil, though. Like, I feel like I'd be really chill if I had 75 mil. I'd be so chill. That's what I'm looking for is the ultimate chill,

which reminds me of my favorite movie, Batman and Robin. Right. Chill out. Batman and Robin. I was going to say the big chill. No, that was Mr. Freeze's favorite movie. What was his favorite? Ice to See You.

All of it. Oh, all of it. He did them all. name a cold pun he was um yeah that movie uh chili today hot tamale that was his weather report there was one that was really lazy in there where it was like they're at a museum and he says what killed the dinosaurs the ice age but it was like we really had to bring in a lot of dinosaur props for that one pun i wonder what the most expensive joke ever was oh it has to be oh like it has to be something where something like a huge thing blows up, and then somebody says, you know, well, that happened, or something like that.

Well, nobody's perfect. That's a very good question. Yeah. What is history's most expensive joke? Come on, split cider. Yeah, yeah. Look it up for me. Yeah, they'll do it for us.

Yeah. Maybe something out of... You could Google that. What, you got a phone there no but there's no there's no way to quantify this phone only

can look up stuff from mad tv season 1 okay alright remember on mad tv season 1 they had they still were

trying to link it to the comic book yeah they had spy versus spies yeah yeah and they I feel like

they're maybe cartoon interstitial I came into mad tv at michael mcdonald stewart kinda I think that's when I was there Yeah, and I feel like... There may be cartoon interstitials. I came into Mad TV at Michael McDonald, Stewart kind of. I think that's when I was there. Yeah. Yeah.

I don't remember much. Was that also there was an Asian character of some sort? Yeah. Oh, Bobby Lee doing stuff? No, no. No, just like somebody doing... Oh, Miss Swan. Yeah, yeah.

Was she Asian? Wasn't she? It was offensive in some way for sure yeah you could not do it again yeah yeah that was a different time six years ago i think we're talking 15 years well it was 21st century sure like they were still doing it after y2k yeah that's for sure because i'm sure there was a sketch where she deals specifically with Y2K why isn't mad TV on anymore?

cause it seems like still a thing that kids would want to watch I don't know you could have told me that it was still on I didn't like where do you find TV these days? oh the television yeah right okay yeah yeah still yeah your parents must still watch tv i think they're a little bit he's still ahead of the still trying to figure out mp3s yeah well i wonder if my parents

are are hip yeah a little bit to the technology they They've got Apple TV. Okay. Sure. Do you think that, because like movies and art forms adapt to the technology or they can like inform the technology. But like, when will there be a movie that is like vertical so you can watch it the way everyone shoots on their iPhone? Or like, when will there be a movie that incorporates the, you know thumbprints that you have on your laptop like the weird smudges and splashes that are already on your laptop screen i thought you were like why what when are they going to make a movie that's tilted the way that people watch it when they're like lying on a couch like that you can when you're spooning your ipad in bed yeah yeah that you can just turn it so that well maybe you can... Like you're spooning your iPad in bed? Yeah, yeah. That you can just turn it so that... Well, maybe you can do that with an iPad.

I don't... Yeah, well, you can move the entire thing. Yeah. But doesn't it... It'll flip. It flips, though. You can flip it, but you can lock it. Oh, you can lock it.

Yeah, there should be a diagonal, a 45-degree screen option. Yeah. That would be good, right? Pipe that Urien mode. Yeah. Oh, shit. Oh, man. That's good. Pythagorean mode. Oh, shit. Oh, man. That's good.

Yeah. iPhone 7S. Technology has come a long way, but also not as, you know. It's still catching up to our laziness. Yeah, and our crazy imaginations. Yeah. Dream big. You may never wake up.

Is that one of those posters? Yeah, I think I heard Snoop Dogg say it once. Maybe to Jimmy Kimmel. Dream big, you may never wake up. That's like something you say to somebody in a coma. Or it's like a threat. Yeah, yeah. Care about what you wish for.

Yeah, dream big or you'll never wake up. Yeah, so what else do you like about Toronto? So what else is new? What's exciting? What's exciting? What's good, as Vicky Minaj would say. Yeah, Miley.

I went go-karting today, so I'm still pretty jazzed on this. No, but what's your favorite neighborhood of Toronto? How's it different from here? Where would you go go-karting? Where's indoor, outdoor? Outdoor. Okay.

Outdoor. Richmond. Okay. Oh, wait, no. We drove a car out there and then we got out of the car and got into smaller cars and drove those around.

And then there was a part where you get into smaller cars. It cost 30 bucks to drive around. I think I've been there. Yeah, it's pretty fun. How fast does it go? Oh, I'd like to think 8. Really fast. But you're down so low to the ground that it feels

fast. I think it's probably 50 actually though like maybe maybe 40 kilometers. I would have asked. Go back.

Yeah. Because what do you think? 20? I'd say 25. Kilometers? Kilometers. Kilometers. Miles.

Are you wearing helmets? Oh yeah. Yeah. So this isn't just I mean what are those helmets going to do? I guess protect your neck. Well, here...

Okay, so I was... Protect your neck. I was doing time trials. I was timing myself. I would put my iPhone on the seat. You had Siri. And drive in. And then every time I did the lap, I hit the lap button on the thing.

Okay, so you had a free hand. I had a free hand. Oh, yeah. We do it on the straightaway. So this was a standard. It's an automatic. So we're driving around. Are they not standard go-karts?

Probably. Well, I can't imagine they have more than one gear as they are. Just lawnmower engines. A lawnmower engine, yeah. Do they have standard lawnmowers? I don't know. I don't know. These are all sorts of questions I don't know. But don't know. These are all sorts of questions.

I don't know. But anyway. I'm going around. Going around, just drifting. Yeah. Who'd you go with? Like, about yourself or friends? No, my friend, Saul.

You got to meet him. I'm going to plug my friend Saul right now. Yeah. He lives downtown East, West Side of Vancouver. He's really cool. Look him up. He's great. Saul Joseph, Vancouver. He's really cool. Look him up. He's great. Saul Joseph, lawyer.

He's a lawyer. He's a lawyer? Is he really? Yeah, he'll take you out. So he's literally a lawyer named Saul in an era of Better Call Saul. That's got to be fun. Yeah. That's got to be fun.

Think of that. So anyway, we're driving all the way around doing the go-kart time trials. Today's a weekday. Yeah, he's a lawyer who's got Tuesday free for go-karts. He just got a job. Well, he's not going to have it for long. He just accepted an offer for a job? First weekend.

Times are tough. It's hard to find a job right now. So he's unemployed. Okay. But he is a lawyer. You can tell. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's in his blood.

Sure. What's that supposed to mean? He was the only one at the track with the briefcase. I gotcha. Yeah. He was in the suit.

He was just waiting for somebody to get in an accident so he could drum up a little bit. I remember growing up there were so many mean jokes about lawyers.

Why? I think because like weren't divorces on the rise or something like that? They were all written by angry dads. Anyway. A lot of those. You went, you went, you, you.

Oh, right. I was doing time trials. Yeah. What was your best time? Ooh. Well, 52 seconds. Ooh, that's good. Around the track.

Very, it's very good for this track. I was told. 55 second was the average, but then 52. But then I looked down one lap. And I had a boner. I was so excited that my boner had pushed my iPhone.

This is the true part. I looked down for doing the lap and then my iPhone'shone's gone and then i didn't really look or think that there were just holes in the bottom of the go-kart and it was just like i mean how's it this isn't gonna be great radio but that's oh i shattered every shatter that you see oh but on that phone oh the front and the front but the not the screen but that's how fast we were going. Not fast enough

to shatter it completely. Still works. So if that's a reference, probably 25 kilometers an hour, I guess. Yeah, maybe. Wow. Oh, man,

you did a lap in 52. Oh, but then I wasted the rest of my time just like slowly driving around the track looking for my iPhone. Did you find it? Yeah, I found it.

But you didn't, while you were driving, you found it? Yeah, I found it. But you didn't, while you were driving you found it? Yeah, I found it. I was driving probably I want to say 10 kilometers an hour. Did you, because I think I went go-karting when I was 11, 12 for my friend's birthday in Richmond.

Sure. I don't remember, like there was a gas and a brake. Never used the brake. Different pedals, different feet. No, you never used the brake. Different pedals, different feet. No, you never used the brake. Yeah, but it just wasn't necessary. You maybe let your foot off the gas. There was one person there like probably using the brake. Well, he or she.

It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. But she was driving around very, very slow. It just felt great to lap her every time. How many people, this is, we're recording on a Tuesday. How many people on a Tuesday afternoon are go-karting? Oh, upwards of six.

Really? Yeah. I would have thought you would have had the track to yourself on a Tuesday. I would have thought the go-kart place would be closed on a Tuesday afternoon. There was a surprising number, two other couples of men. Two sets of men friends, and then there was like a trio of mixed genders. Yeah, sure. Because when I went for my friend's birthday as

a kid it was the most fun yeah and uh they let us go for like 20 minutes like super long uh and i i i had the time of my life i never felt that way before and you wrote that song yeah my life about it and uh then like the rest of that summer i begged my dad to look can we go back oh just let's go back dad and he was like no then eventually we went back and this was a time when I was really getting on my dad's nerves, I think. I think I made him go see Dick Tracy twice the same summer. And we went and he took me out to the go-karts and it was not fun. It was not exciting.

They only let us go for like six minutes. Yeah, there was yeah there was a lot of unexciting parts today like it just gets repetitive it's the same

it's just and it's not turny enough that you're I don't know how do race car drivers do it like 200 laps

oh they do drugs of just turning left for 200 laps well yeah NASCAR especially yeah I mean and then you'd spin out which I did a lot cause I'm not I was just trying to Oh, they do drugs. Of just turning left for 200 miles. Well, yeah, NASCAR especially, yeah. I mean, and then you'd spin out, which I did a lot because I'm not,

I was just trying to have some fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just, you know. Tokyo drift them around corners. Outside of the time trials. Sure. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Spin it, and then you spin it, and you're going backwards on the track,

and then they yell at you, you're not allowed to go backwards. Or you just get caught on the wall because you can't reverse yeah so you're just stuck yeah and you wait and a guy has to come with a hook

yeah and he pulls you out and he has to run across the whole track to get to you so it's boring the last time I went go-karting was

for a friend's bachelor party oh and it was indoor so strip you went strip go-karting yeah we were all naked everybody was naked yeah after every Friends bachelor party. Oh. And it was indoor. So strip. You went strip go-karting. Yeah, we were all naked.

Everybody was naked. Yeah, after every pass. Dicks out go-karting. But it was, indoor go-karting is really terrible because it's. Noisy. Well, it's noisy in those fumes unless they've got like some great exhaust system, which the place did not. You're just like sick by the time you leave. You just feel sick.

And there's some guy in there who's like the guy. Yeah. He must be just high as a kite all day. Having a great time. Yeah. Great day. Loves working at go-karts. Oh, you know what I wanted to ask was,

do you drive? Yeah, I drive. I didn't mean to ask it with a European accent. Do you drive? Do you drive? Do you drive? Yeah, I drive. I didn't mean to ask it with a European accent. Do you drive? Do you drive? Do you drive? Are you ever worried? Were you worried today racing a car that you would faint?

Never crossed my mind. No. That would be a video game I'd want to play. Faint racer. Or race fainter. Either way. You're just going to crawl to a stop. I mean, you're going like five kilometers an hour max.

No, no. I heard they go upwards of 50. That's what I heard. You know what would be fun at go-karting? Oh, there's some American listeners right now that are Googling conversion rates. If you could have helmets that had a little microphone so you could like taunt your buddy. That's the best. All I could do to my friend

saw the lawyer great look him up yeah yeah yeah uh what kind of law does he do go-kart law you've been injured in a go-kart accident he's a real ambulance kid law birthday party law mostly You fell off a pony or you had a tail pinned on you that was intended for a donkey. Somebody dunked your head in the cotton candy machine. Made you with a cotton candy wig.

If you swallowed a coin that was cooked into a cake. Call Saul. Call Saul. Birthday party lawyer. Pretty good. Yeah. I like lawyer. It's pretty good. Yeah. I like that. So what did you do? Salt to taunt him?

Oh, just give him the finger. Yeah, give him the finger. Yeah, that's all you can do. You could have brought stuff with you, like some crusts to throw. Or like a banana peel. Or anything. Like a turtle shell. Anything from Mario Kart, yeah.

Oil slick. Threw my iPhone out the bottom. Take that. Yeah. Yeah, and he wipes out on it. You know, like, worth it. Yeah. Oh, man.

Dave, what's going on with you, man? Oh, nothing that exciting. No, me neither. Well, actually, today when I was walking to work, I accidentally kicked a Tic Tac. Oh. Well, no, good Let's hear how the rest of this Fans out

So I'm walking down the sidewalk And this tic-tac I keep kicking it, man Oh, like Like it's a rock Like a rock How do you way to kick it? After the first time

I accidentally kicked it I was like Oh well Now this is my thing For the rest of This is a blast Yeah And then like

A guy started walking towards me Coming in the other direction He's kicking a Mentos Yeah I had mint envy But yeah I just kept kicking it I didn't care about this

Like I feel like That's a disrespectful thing. Like if someone's coming at you, you should stop kicking whatever you're kicking. No matter how, how, uh, if you're really into it,

he should step aside. And then, uh, later I was kicking a new print. They're little and yellow. They're indifferent. Yeah. Um,

now, uh, I, today I was at work and, uh, uh, we, the, where I work, there's a wonderful kitchen and it's, I feel like it was intended to, the office was intended to be an apartment. Cause it's got like a dishwasher and a six burner stove and a fridge and no microwave, which is the only thing you need in an office And is there a shower in the bathroom? There's a shower in the bathroom Yeah for sure it was an apartment

But yeah so we And my co-worker Pat Kelly Past guest He was saying Because all summer long There's very few places to eat in the neighborhood But all summer long there have been food trucks every day Yeah So we just go to whatever food very few places to eat in the neighborhood, but all summer long, there have been food trucks every day.

Yeah. So we just go to whatever food truck. And he was like, in the fall, it's going to be, it's going to be microwave time. Oh, because the food trucks pack up and.

Yeah. Where do they go? They drive off a cliff. Oh, they drive off a cliff. Why do they do that every year? I think they go to the Southern Hemisphere for their summer. So they go, they get on a boat and go to Australia?

Yeah. And they make pupusas for the people of the Southern Hemisphere for once. But he, a man in his 30s, has never owned a microwave. Never lived in a house that had a microwave. Weird. And I was fascinated by this. Yeah. And he was asking us questions like when

the microwave showed up. He was like, so, in the fall, for a microwave, would you just go, you go to the, is that frozen stuff in the supermarket? That's what you use? Is that stuff any good? And we were all like, no!

You don't use it. I mean mean you can microwave frozen stuff from the supermarket but you use it for leftovers yeah microwave popcorn yeah those two things yeah and uh you know when you want uh like something a little bit warm but not so warm that you use an oven yeah when you want to melt a you want to have like a melty ice cream. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. These are the great uses of. I stopped having a microwave like two years ago, and I've only just recently got one again. But I found the only thing that changed was can't reheat coffee, can't make microwave popcorn. That was the only way it really affected me. Oh, like without, without the microwave.

Yeah. I was like, yeah, I would love to reheat this coffee, but I can't. It's fine. I've never reheated a coffee. Really? Yeah. Well, exactly. It's gross.

It is pretty gross. I throw out coffee. Sure, yeah. But have you ever had one of those, like a magic bag, like for putting around your neck? Oh, yeah. Sure. Microw those, uh, like a, like a magic bag, like for putting around your neck? Oh yeah. Sure.

Microwaves are good for that. Heat up a magic bag. Okay. Cozy. We use it to melt butter for, uh, if you're making artichokes. Yeah. Yeah. See?

What the hell is, how the hell is he even living his life? I know. I know. Three things. But also magic bags, Butter for artichokes And ice cream That's over frozen Yeah

I know But also I don't Yeah Like I don't use Our microwave that much As a kid As a Like

12 year old Cause we didn't have one The first You know In the first house I lived in Until we moved And then it was just like Microwave experiments

All day long. Like what? I'm going to microwave a bagel. Let's see how chewy it gets. My parents still have the microwave that they bought probably like when they first came out. Like it's huge. And it's advertising on the microwave that you can cook a whole Thanksgiving turkey. Like you can just put it in here.

And it is big enough for it, for sure. Ours, the day we got the microwave, my dad let me get the Batman soundtrack by print. And then you put it

right in the microwave. But not on CD. In frozen Hungry Man dinner form. That's funny. But yeah, like as a teenager i would when i used to uh take a tortilla and a hot dog and cheese and melt them all together like just melt the cheese onto them oh that was a good meal yeah i'll yeah warming up leftovers is the thing yeah just pop that in there Yeah, warming up leftovers is the thing.

Just pop that in there. Or, you know, if you're a person who's like, ah, I'm coming home late. Oh, but I made dinner for you. Well, just, you know, microwave it when I get home. That's not technically a leftover. It's like that's the same. Yeah, just reheating.

Yeah. Quick reheat. So we've explained microwaves. But did he not have one because he thought it was going to lower his sperm? No, no, no. They didn't have one growing up. Like they just didn't have one. Yeah, and then when he moved, he just never bought one. Because they don't come with an apartment, usually.

No, that's something to bring with you. Although, at one point, I had acquired several. Just like through a series of three. Yeah three yeah yeah like we have two in the place i'm living in now but i think we had to get rid of one because we had three and i was like well where are we just gonna have one auxiliary like hanging out just in case just an understudy you learn all the the times yeah oh that figuring out times, that was a big thing. Mm-hmm. When you had a microwave.

Oh, yeah, you can't trust that popcorn function. Yeah. You got, you. Oh, no, you. You'll get burned. You freestyle it. Yeah, yeah. You got to listen.

You got to use these guys, your ears. Yeah. And this guy. And you also have to. Your nose. You have to. Your heart. It's so much fun to watch.

Mm-hmm. Watch something heating up or exploding. Yeah. Did you ever explode anything on purpose? No. I would put pizza pops. Forks in there. Oh, forks.

Yeah, you throw a fork in the microwave. And it would spark up? Spark. Oh, it's beautiful. But didn't that ruin the microwave? That's what I was always told. But what does that mean? I don't know.

I was young. I didn't really care about it. Your parents were cooking whole turkeys. It still happened. It's still working, yeah. It doesn't ruin it. They can put a whole pumpkin in there

at Halloween and just let it cook. Just let it stand. They can put a whole horn of plenty in there and thanks to it.

Yeah, there's a lot of things you could put in there. Put a whole wreath in there at Christmas. Yeah, but we did used to look into it as it was cooking.

And my mother said, told me not to because my genitals would fall off. Would fall off? In those words. And then I said that to my sisters when they were looking in. And they were like, I don't think that works with our genitals. Probably not. They're going to just stay up in there. Yeah, I have no idea.

Does it? Is it bad to look in it? I don know it'd be that bad there's i've talked to some like uh some kind of hippie-ish people who say that the microwave is like there's like all sorts of weird stuff going on in there man yeah but they're hippies and they've got all sorts of weird stuff going on in there you know yeah they're like don't put a dream catcher in there yeah don't do not try to heat up patchouli oil um but i had to give pat pointers because he brought in soup today and uh he was like he had it in a glass like a pyrex bowl with a lid and took the lid off and put it on and put it in. And I was like, you should keep the lid on, not like down.

Yeah, but just to avoid splatter. To avoid the splashing because this is a communal microwave. And he didn't know. He didn't know that. Then he stuck a hot dog on a stick and just put it in the door and just waited for it to cook oh yeah you could probably do s'mores in there yeah yeah as many microwaves as i've had i uh i've never cleaned one i really haven't oh yeah what do you do you just yeah you wipe it down yeah wipe it down you know you maybe use you maybe use like a, if you're a hippie, a vinegar water solution.

Yeah, yeah. Some patchouli oil. You heat it up earlier in the day. But yeah, only like annually. Oh, yeah. Oh, Max. Yeah. Yeah, that's a good point.

What's going on with you, Graham? Well, I had a, like okay okay everybody's at the stage okay uh i was i did a weekend of comedy at the comedy club here the comedy mix here in vancouver with any steph with steph tolev and uh and uh chris gordon past gas and this never happens where it's like the weekend I thought the weekend was so solid because usually the late shows there's some jerko people that have been drinking for hours

comedians or patrons so and well I mean don't count them out but the whole run of the weekend was good, really good. And then that last show on Saturday was great. And I was like, am I going to have like a perfect run of shows?

And then, I swear to you, three jokes from the end of my set, one guy decides to just snuff out the streak and decides to interrupt a joke with a fact that he had wrong. And it made me so mad. Where was this guy sitting? Like two rows from the front. So you could have ignored him. Nope. He said it so loud there was no way for anybody to ignore him. He was in the middle of, I do a joke about the movie Back to the Future.

Uh-huh. Don't need money. Yeah, that's the bit. Don't take fame. I just sing the rest of the song. Don't even care about the Susan thing. and so i say in the joke that marty mcfly has to travel he travels from 1985 to 1955 and the guy goes four and i was like what and he goes four 1984 and i was like what an idiot i was like nope 1985 tried to continue with the bit. I was like, okay, giving this guy the opportunity to shut the fuck up.

It was 1984. He just will not let me continue. And so I threatened his life. That's the first step. That's the first step. In what words? I said, I will take you outside. I will grind your face into the pavement.

And then I will paint 1985 on the wall with your blood. It's a light threat. But any other thing in the universe, you could make me question my knowledge of it. Right. Like any other thing, I'd be like, well, maybe he's right. Yeah. And I'd move right on. But it was the one thing where'd be like well maybe he's right. Yeah. And I'd move right on but it was the one thing where I'm like you

couldn't be more wrong. Yeah. And uh Well he passed through 1984 to get there. So yeah. Went too far. Drove back. Yeah. Yeah. Anything any like I say anything else I wouldn't have been like so sure i

was right and uh and even at that he still wouldn't stop the bouncer had to come over and say like you're saying one more thing we're tearing you out of here but it wasn't like if i was the bouncer i'd be like google it yeah well i'll wait While you Google it Just as a bouncer This is a courtesy I'm doing to you I'm doing you a kindness Why do you think

That guy was so Interested in Not only derailing The show This is at the End of the show You've already been doing Really good

Really good Really good Really good Really good So why What do you think's Going through this guy's head Is he just like You know what You've already been doing really good. Really good. Really good. Really good. Really good. So why, what do you think's going through this guy's head? Is he just like, you know what? Time to fuck shit up.

You know, he's like you. He cares so much about Bank of the Future that he wants you to be right. Yeah. He doesn't know that you're right. Yeah. And he doesn't care enough to know anything about the movie. I know, but he feels strongly about it. But, I mean, it's a thing that would be so, like, it would be like, it was 87 miles an hour, you know? Right, right.

It's a signpost thing in the movie. Mm-hmm. But there's like 50 of those things in the movie, and you could name them all. Yeah, exactly. But there's like, I don't in the movie and you could name them all. Yeah, exactly. But there's like, I don't think there's anything else in my life. No, he lives in Hill City. Yeah, he lives in Valley Valley.

So yeah, anyway, so that was my, that was my almost perfect weekend. Did you jinx it? Do you think, do you think like earlier in the set you were like, I'm going to make it, guys. Yeah, yeah, nothing's, I've got one week till retirement. Look at this picture of my wife and kids. Yeah, oh, wait, they're fading, right? Like in that movie? It wasn't a picture, it was a DVD.

I saw in my neighborhood, they have, just like people outside their houses, there's like five or six of them just in various spots throughout the neighborhood. Like libraries? Like tiny little libraries that are a shelf. And sometimes people put a little window over it and you lift up and you see what books there are. And you can take them and you can drop off your old books there. Private libraries? Yeah. But like just sort of a...

Community. Community. And also like, hey, if the book never comes back, so what? Just the book. Yeah. It's not... Yeah. I find you can do that.

The joy of sex doesn't make its way back here. If those teenage boys don't return it. But sometimes people just drop off junk there. Yeah. Like there was an Us magazine. It's a book. Yeah, it's fine. And when I passed by...

Lots of newspapers. You can read them, Cain. When I passed by today, I just had half a stack, like a spindle of CD minus hours. That you could use to make a CD for your friends. Yeah, for sure. Earn some money. Charge 10 bucks. So people have sort of like the library concept has been corrupted.

Yeah. To just stuff. Here's some socks. You might want it. I don don't know box of hangers that's a tough one to get rid of nobody wants box of hang nobody not even wire hangers wiring just take them back to the dry cleaner oh is that where i got them from well you could you can say where do they come from i don't know do they say we heart our customers a little paper thing yeah those are from the dry cleaner for sure that's actually the only love letter i've ever received oh

but it is one of those things also like i noticed today after the garbage had been uh sort of picked up uh somebody left behind, the garbage men left behind a big plastic wrapper that would have been in, like, Ikea furniture thing. Why? They're very choosy. They are so choosy. These new garbage men and women. And robots.

Oh, yeah, garbage robots. But, like, isn't it just all automatic? Yeah. How did that plastic thing end up on the outside of the garbage can? Right? Nobody knows. They just refused. They didn't want to take it?

Yeah. Yeah. Now what do I do? Sometimes. Where's this library? I'll drop it off there. Sometimes. In Toronto.

Oh, yeah. They'll take it. They'll take almost anything. It's one of the best parts about Toronto. What won't they take? I've been in certain places Where you're like Cause here

There's a lot of You go to a restaurant And you're expected In some restaurants To clear your own place And like There's like a station Where you put your dirty dishes

Oh yeah yeah And then And then you put your compostables In one bin and your recyclables in another. That's too much. I've been in some cities where it's like just the table tilts and everything goes in the garbage. Just goes in a fire pit. Yeah. Oh, man.

Do you want to move on to overheard? Okay. Hey, guys. We got a Jumbotron this week. Yeah, so buckle up. Mm-hmm. And buckle down. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, I really want you to buckle down this semester. Yeah, because me and your dad think that you're not applying yourself. Yeah, and you've got great potential. You could make the Dean's List. Oh, yeah. And if you do, hoverboard. Yeah, if you make the Dean's List oh yeah and if you do hoverboard yeah if you make the dean's list blizzard you get a blizzard oh any flavor combo flavor if you want oh yeah do they do that if you make the dean's list they'll do anything hi my son made the dean you don't do

it but i made a problem let me back a big problem. Let me back there. This week on the Jumbotron, we have a message for Rohan G. Am I pronouncing that right? Yeah. Don't mess with him. Don't mess with Rohan? Yeah. Oh, boy.

Oh, boy. This is a message from Rory and Bonita. And the message is, Hey, mate. Just wishing you a super great anniversary of your being born. That is a gerund. And that is a birthday. Yeah. And that would be difficult in a card section of a store.

If it was anniversaries, anniversaries, comma, birth, comma, gerund. They go on to say, Thanks for being a champion guy And an awesome brother We are super looking forward To having a multitude of beers with you Lovey And having a bunch of laughs And repetitively

Sharing pop culture anecdotes From our childhood That is a fun thing to do with family It's all I do Whenever I see my brother Hey, do you remember uh this episode of this thing yeah remember this ad for this jewelry company oh boy fun um and uh they they conclude by saying sorry about the lack of axe throwing that's a uh inside joke to them or maybe

it's just a way to sign off. Sorry about the lack of axe throwing. Keep it real. So happy birthday, Rahanji. If you would like to have us read a message Jumbotron style like that, head over to MaximumFun.org slash Jumbotron. Do you want to move on to overheards? Boy. I'm Biz.

And I'm Teresa. And we host One Bad Mother, a comedy podcast about parenting. We say all the horrible things about having kids, so you don't have to. And you can come across as the magical vessel Pinterest perfect parent society wants you to be. One Bad Mother, because this is hard and nobody gives a s***. Check us out on iTunes and MaximumFun.org. Hi, I'm Mark.

And I'm Hal. And we're the hosts of We Got This. The show that offers definitive answers to dumb debates that you suggest. Every Wednesday we discuss the hot button topics you never knew you cared so much about. Like whether you should put ketchup on a hot dog. What's the best Star Wars movie? Whether it's better to be too hot or too cold. Coke or Pepsi?

Best Marvel movie. Which is the best religion? I told you we're not doing that one. So join us every week on MaximumFun.org. And don't worry everyone, we got this. We got this. Overheard. Overheard's a segment in which we hear things, and then we talk about them.

Fun. And we always likes to do that. Likes to. Oh, boy. Like to. I'm that heckle. We like to start with the guest. Okay.

Chris, if you would. All right. All alright alright I'll start yeah my overheard this is unorthodox here we go this has never been done

blown the lid off my overheard is from myself yeah it's been done it has? I think so, probably. This wacky thing I said

was just priceless. We do the show every week, so we sometimes have to steal. No, we bend the rules. Steal from ourselves. You guys both take a sip at the same time. Yum.

It's good for the... Yeah, yeah. All right, so my overheard is me saying... I'll just preface it as just saying something Yeah, yeah. All right, so my overheard is me saying, I'll just preface it as just saying something that I, a very sexist point of view. You believe wholeheartedly.

And I was like, oh my God, I can't believe I said that. And I was alone. I said it to nobody else but myself. I was at the grocery store talking out loud, as everyone yeah no carrots gotta buy carrots out of my way everybody yeah i was just thinking out loud and i was like i needed to buy a sewing kit i needed to find a uh a needle and thread to sew a button onto my shirt sure you, you're traveling. Yeah, of course. So I'm like, I'll just go to the grocery store and I'll try and find it. And I was like, where would this be?

Where would it be in the grocery store? And I walk around and I'm like, where'd it go, where'd it be, where'd it be? We both know where it's going. I see the sign that says feminine care. I'm like, oh, feminine care, there we go. feminine care i'm like oh feminine care there we go well that was the most sexist thing i've ever said or thought oh my god it wasn't there no no it's in like a hardware type section where stuff for men is yeah no yeah men who are gonna

stitch up their own wounds like in a movie. It'd be right before the part of the grocery store where they also have like a bunch of shoe polish. Oh, yeah. That's where you find it. Yeah. But like it is. I don't know. Where do you look in a grocery store, really?

In edibles. Yeah. Edibles. Clean edibles. Yeah. Mostly to be in the aisles just like sticking out, just like on those little displays or something. I don't know. Walkie-Town.

Could be anywhere. Yeah, well, it won't be in Prada's for sure. No. But I would go towards, if there was a pharmacy, I'd head towards pharmacy. Yeah, head towards the- Feminine care section. Or like the kitty litter aisle. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, oh, kitty litter. Or like light bulbs. Yeah, any kind of, what would they call that? Housewares? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Oh, kitty litter. Or like light bulbs. Yeah. Any kind of, what would they call it? Oh, yeah. Housewares? Something like that? Health.

Household. Health. Light bulbs. Health. Light bulbs. Lifestyle. Lifestyles. Detergent.

Light. Laundry detergent. Yeah. Indoor. Yeah. Indoor goods. I looked. I thought maybe, you know, Maxi Pats was a good section for it in my sexist

terrible point of view i'm the problem yeah that's me but you know what this is the beginning of the solution yeah yeah at least i called myself out on it yeah how dare you chris we're in a progressive time yeah how dare you question me i'm a man The men care section Could be where we Axe body spray Right next to the axe Yeah Between the axe And the condom

Yeah exactly Sewing kits Sewing kits Like Well the thing is They're gonna have One kind of sewing kit It's not like

They're gonna It's not gonna be The wall of Like deodorant It's gonna be The one sewing kit It's always the same Sewing kit It's a red thing be the wall of deodorant. It's going to be the one sewing kit. It's always the same sewing kit. It's a red thing with a clear plastic lid.

And it's got like four colors, maybe five. Thread on a cardboard thing. It's got a needle. It's got that weird sort of like... Thimble thing? Tin thing. What the... It's got like a stamp of the queen's face

nobody knows what that is then yeah like a little thimble and then there away you go and maybe three three needles yeah yeah yeah big one small one they're literally only for buttons i've learned over the years yeah they're Trying to sew holes. Right. Therefore, they give them to you in hotels. Yes. Yes. That's where. That's where you should have gone. A hotel.

A hotel. Just broken into someone's room. Excuse me. Hotel concierge. Where's your feminine care section? Where's your feminine care room? Wow. Do you have gifting suites in this hotel?

Dave, do you have an overheard? Guys, I'm deciding between two overheards. Do them both. Real Sophie's Choice. Nah, I'll do one. Okay. Just do the one, actually. I'll do the one.

It's an overseen. But which one is it? They're both overseen. Okay. You know what? I'll do this one. This one is it? They're both over scenes. Okay. You know what? This one. This one is also sexist. Okay.

Oh, good. Perfect. It's on theme. I was at, we went to a baby store this weekend because our baby's outgrown her car seat and we need a giant car seat. our baby uh uh just uh she ate a giant watermelon and now she's enormous yeah yeah uh you accidentally turned a shrinking ray in reverse on her and honey i blew up the kid yeah uh so yeah we got a new uh car seat which is they're like 14 it's super cheap oh good it's very cheap to be a parent do they sell them at 7-eleven now yeah yeah yeah

come in and have a taquito and car seat but in the baby store there's a lot of stuff that is gender neutral okay and then there's a lot of stuff for princesses okay and there's a lot of stuff with the word princess on it yeah and like onesies that are daddy's little princess and uh just a lot of like uh books about princesses sure here's how to be a princess merry royalty yeah um and uh one of the things was there were two sets of these uh magnets you put on the back of your car but instead of saying baby on board which by the way these are i only recently learned the baby on board thing on the back of a car is for emergency service people to be like oh let's check if there's a baby in the back if you're in a car accident it's not just like brag just to know

just so you know yeah like here's why i'm driving so careful. Right. But those stickman things on the back, those don't have... Those are just to piss me off. But they had two gendered crowns to put on the back of your car. Oh, yes. And one was princess on board, and the other was king on board. Wow. Which was like... Big difference. Yeah. One was a princess on board and the other was king on board. Which was like. Big difference.

Yeah. Like I'm all for patriarchy, but let's, you know, wait, you got to grow into it. But now, so, so yeah. Why, why are little girls being told to be princesses and not queens? Yeah, I know. Yes. Yeah. Right. Yes. Queen. told to be princesses and not queens yeah i know yes yeah right yes queen right um because yeah little boys aren't wearing things that say little prince no but apparently this is like i'm dry i

gotta be careful i'm driving around the king oh i'm so sorry son i mean yeah your highness yes gaga google your highness i just as driver, driving around your son and being like, I gotta be nice to this kid, he's the king. Yeah, yeah. You're just the chauffeur. The boy king. How did you give birth to a king if you're not even royalty? I'll tell you what, that crown really cut me up down there cut you up

yeah how did it cut you up it just cut me up inside you know emotionally what I'm saying is I got a vasectomy so this never happens again

king wise well I guess somebody had to give birth to the original king that started because you know chicken or egg right so somebody had to decide this baby is the next king but then why wouldn't that person be like but first i'm the king and that guy's dad uh anyways i mean well jesus was born that way and he's the king of kings. That's right. That's true. Wonderful counselor. And Budweiser, how did it become the king of beers? Somebody just put the little cap on the top.

Yeah, they put a cap upside down with a little crown. But you just did that with not a Budweiser. Yeah, I guess it works with any beer. Analog, 780. That's so crazy. King on board. K.O.B. Bob. My, uh, overheard is, uh, I was, uh, eating at a restaurant and there was a football game on the TV.

I couldn't see it. So I could just hear the, uh, color commentary. just hear the color commentary. And there was obviously a lull in the football game because they were just two older guys trying to kill some time. And the one guy says, the spider cam is brought to you by Web TV. And the other guy doesn't just let him do the ad. He goes, it's called a spider cam? He's like, yeah, he's like yeah that's

what they call it web tv and the guy goes it's a real spider in the ointment it's like you guys know you're still on tv right now we're riffing this is what we're famous for also web tv still Exists. Also, it's fly in the ointment. Yeah. Also, 1984. Now, we also have overheards sent in to us by people around the world. If you want to send one in to spy at maximumfund.org, you can do so. Yeah. No one's going to stop you. It's a free country. This first one comes from Kami H. I hope I'm pronouncing that right.

K-A-M-I? Kami? I can't imagine another way to pronounce it. That's it. K-M-I. I know, K-M-I. Uh, this happened about 30 seconds ago while I was in class. I excused myself to send this email before I forgot.

That is the correct way to do it. Yeah. We want you to interrupt your life. I excused myself to faint. Then I chipped my tooth on a computer. Oh, man. I went over to type this email into the class computer. I fainted.

Oh, man. I remember looking at that computer, too. He took a real big chunk out of the plastic. What was it? Like a gateway? The computer? Adele? Oh, it was probably a Dell.

Mmm, no, this was probably what it would have been like the big, like a compact. There, compact. It was a compact. Uh, two men behind me whispering to each other while the professor was lecturing. Man A, dude, did you see what Monster Energy drinks posted on their Instagram last

night? Man B. Oh, yeah, man. It was sick. I hate their drinks, but I love all the cool shit they do. What cool shit are they doing? Well, they sponsor a lot of extreme stuff. That's true.

We put a Monster Energy Drink in a microwave. It's kind of warm. It's warming. They do put their name on an awful lot of stuff. Have you ever had one? I am a big energy drink guy. Really? Oh, yeah. I drink them a lot.

Have you had any today? No. I wish you would have. No. But I've had four coffees. Yeah, I would have been better if I had. That go-kart, though, that was a little bit. Yeah, I had enough.

I had enough. I had enough. What do you drink? Do you drink like a Red Bull? I always go Red Bull. Red Bull. But then they have, now they have the huge monster-sized Red Bulls. They're just like, monster energy drink is like a tall can, a beer tall can.

A tall boy. Yeah, yeah. A tall boy. Tall boy, yeah. And now they have tall boy Red Bulls No I'm still a Still just regular small As they're meant to be Do you know how they made a new Hamburglar who was

He's supposed to be like a hipster He should have been saying Red Bull Red Bull Thanks I'm fun. But like Monster Energy Drake, that's like kind of the most, that's your preeminent after Red Bull. Yeah, after Red Bull. That was the first. And then you got other things.

Like Red Bull's number one, Monster Energy Drake. Rockstar. Rockstar. Yeah, Red Rain I never see anywhere. Red Rain's bad. But it is named after a Peter Gabriel song. But I can't drink that much of that. Which is Suzanne Vega-esque.

I cannot drink that much of energy drink, the Monster Energy drink. Apparently, just a normal Red Bull is less caffeine than a tall Starbucks. Oh, really? Yeah. I mean, it's got a lot of other shit in it. Yeah, it doesn't have like- A ton of other shit. It's got-

Taurine or something like that? It's got cavities in it. I've heard they put cavities in a drink. If you see a person- Like, it's instant cavities? Yeah. You see a person walking down the street, and they've got a Red Bull and a Big Mac,

they're actually drinking less caffeine and eating less calories than a person who has a tall Starbucks coffee and one of their muffins. Really? That is something I heard. Yeah, that's something they would do on like, they bring a doctor onto the view.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Guess which one of these has the most things. Yeah, exactly. That's actually where I... Wrong! Neither of them! That's where I heard it. The doctors, that TV show. Those are some handsome doctors. and they'd be like wrong neither of them that's where I heard it the doctors

that TV show those are some handsome doctors all wearing scrubs for some reason yeah they don't have normal clothes yeah

we gotta remind them at all points that we're doctors let's not forget yeah wait why am I listening oh yeah right doctor

yeah the v-necks deep scrub v-necks deep scrub v-necks. I went to medical. Deep scrub V-necks. Deep scrub V-necks. They are. They're so deep. They are so deep. Yeah, what's the point of wearing scrubs if there's like chest hair? Well, some of them, like the woman wears like a lab coat with a, you know, a lady clothes.

Yeah. That says princess. Doctor princess. She's not a real doctor, but she just bought that. Her daddy bought that for her. Um, daddy's little doctor princess.

Doctor princess, we need you to return to the operating room. You left your tiara in the patient. Bring your magic wand with you. This next one comes from Chris J. Are you Chris J? No. No.

No, almost. I overheard this recently. Your parents almost gave you the last name J? Almost. God, Chris J. I overheard this recently as I was walking down a shopping street in Kyoto. From around a block away, I saw a tourist dad trying to wrangle his two kids, a boy and a girl, both around 10, into crossing the street. He was gesturing wildly, pointing southward, and seemed like he was in a hurry.

As I walked by, I saw his daughter cross her arms, plant her feet, and say, Dad, we're not going anywhere until you tell us what the clitoris is that's good yeah and when you're done telling your dad tell the rest of us

tell the rest of us we found something resembling it in the feminine care aisle yeah but that could have just been the thimble

the princess aisle but a princess wouldn't do her own sewing right no But that could have just been the thimble. The princess aisle. But a princess wouldn't do her own sewing, right? No, of course not. It depends what part of the movie. Oh, yeah, before she finds out she's a princess. Yes. She's got the wicked stepsisters, et cetera.

She's just working, doing chores. Yeah, stumbled out of bed, stumbled into the kitchen. Is the stepsisters in that story Cinderella, right? Sure. They're wicked, but do they also have to be ugly? Why are they always ugly in the, is that part of the story? Are they wicked, like, because they do sweet tricks on their bikes? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're all.

Wicked. Stopping. Doing sweet kick flips. Yeah. Ollie's. Ollie's. Doing that spin move. Come on.. B.M.X. B.M.X. B.M.X. B.M.X. B.M.X. B.M.X. B.M.X. B.M.X. B.M.X. B.M.X. B.M.X. B.M.X. B.M.X. B.M.X. B.M.X. B.M.X. B.M.X. B.M.X. B.M.X. B.M.X. B.M.X. B.M.X. B.M.X. B.M.X. B.M.X. B.M.X. B.M.X. B.M.X. B.M.X. B.M.X. B.M.X. B.M.X. B.M.X. B.M.X. B.M.X. B.M.X. B.M.X.

B.M.X. B.M.X. B.M.X. B.M.X. B.M.X. B.M.X. B.M.X. B.M.X.

B.M.X. B.M.X. B.M.X. B.M.X. B.M.X. B.M.X. B.M.X. B.M.X.

B.M.X. B.M. be sure that's uh star trek it's just like pictures from star trek and then on one page it'll be uh happy on the other page it'll be angry and it'll both they'll both be uh uh spock yeah spock making no expression that's the wrong guy kirk yeah yeah uh young and old it'll be like when bones went in an aging machine. I don't know. I never watched the show. But then there's one that's like mean and nice. And the mean person is an ugly alien. And the nice person is a pretty lady. Yeah.

So I don't agree with that. Yeah. Because I think that's something that you're taught. Most pretty ladies are mean to me. Yeah, right? It's true. think that's something that you're taught those pretty ladies are mean to me yeah right true yeah but that always the bad uh characters are always ugly right in in your in your fairy tales fargo in your fairy tales yeah yeah yeah and in fargo fairy tales and fargo we've got bob thornton bad no. No, the movie.

Oh, the movie. Okay. Yeah. I just recently watched the TV show. Oh, it's so good. Oh, it's the best. Yeah. Oh, man.

That wig. That wig is the best. That wig. Honestly, just watch it for Billy Bob Thornton's wig. Do you think that anybody ever refers to Kristen Wiig as that wig? Oh, yeah. Great wig. That wig lady, yeah. This wig. Yeah. That wig lady.

Yeah. This last one comes from Amy S. I was called upon to judge an elementary school science fair. I would love to do that. Call us next time. We don't know anything about science. We're not allowed to go in

in elementary school. Yeah, because of... It was a misunderstanding. Yeah. I had to pee. The students had to submit a journal with their projects that outlined their process.

One of the students began his... The page of brainstorming topic ideas. The first idea in his book read, Fluffy kitty. What happens when a cat licks itself? What happens when a cat doesn't lick itself? Why didn't he go with that idea? Yeah.

I decided to study what would happen if a cat didn't lick itself. And how did you go about this? How did you stop a cat from doing that? I covered it in saran wrap. It cut out its tongue. Do you remember any science fair things that you did? Yeah, I did. I remember doing a thing about penguins.

They made a trifold about penguins. Remember trifolds? Yeah. Classic. Oh, I added some trifolds about Jamaica as a country. That was great. A science topic. A science topic about Jamaica.

That's like a cardboard thing with. Yeah, you got a big section and then two little. Yeah, two little guys. Put information on it. Oh, yeah. I did one about Babe Ruth and one about England. The Jamaica of Europe.

I had some real Jamaican money so my presentation was really cool. Really cool. Most of your research happened after a vacation there. Yep, that's exactly. I was stoked on Jamaica. Did most of your research happen after a vacation? Yep.

That's exactly. I was stoked on Jamaica. Can I do a Jamaica, please? Yeah. Oh, it's a science fair. My other one was batteries. I made a bat, like, you see potato batteries? I have a potato battery.

Absolutely. So I did. That's how I power everything. Broccoli batteries. Really? Yeah. Well, my science experiment was which vegetables actually better conductive. Did you find out it was the potato? It was broccoli. Oh, broccoli.

Apparently. Wow. I won third place. What won first? Do you remember? Potato. Yeah, the potato thing. Yeah, some trifold about england i don't know

we've never been for years they had real money some real pounds oh boy that when i did the england project that was like the year my parents were like we're just gonna help you with every project oh yeah no my dad did this battery thing, I think I maybe did like the following year or one year. It was on noise pollution and it was like, Dad, there's no way my handwriting's that good. Yeah. Dumb it down a bit. Yeah, yeah.

Your dad's making all sorts of graphs and stuff. You're like, let me slide around on it on the lawn, get some grass to get started. Although one of the components of it was, it was like a crossword puzzle, which is words related to noise pollution, Although one of the components of it was it was like a crossword puzzle. Which is words related to noise pollution. Which is like not very science-y.

It's like something that you put effort into. It was just something you didn't have to. It was just like an idea. Like, oh, let's put a crossword puzzle in it. Gotta fill this trifold somehow. Yeah, exactly. There's not a lot of... Yeah, here's some earplugs. Pictures of things

that make noise? Maybe. A drill. Yeah, a drill. A hammer sometimes. A giraffe. Oh, man. Just picturing

your parents. A rabbit. I don't know. Working on these projects. Dave's not going to finish this on time. Oh, and it would always be like, oh, I forgot tomorrow we have this other thing to do.

But it's 10 o'clock. All of the poster board stores are closed. That was the only time any homework ever was submitted. Here, take this poster. Your sister did a project on Tiffany. You can hand that in. The science of I think we're alumni.

Would you really not know if other people were around? Oh, man. Good science. Can you hold on to one a round? Oh, man. Kid science fair. Can you hold on to one another's hand while running as fast as you can?

Dave, sit down. It's obvious you haven't done your homework. Well, we found out. In addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept

your phone calls. Running just as fast as we can. If you would like to call us, our phone number is 206-339-8328. Like these people have. Hey, Dave and Graham. This is Rob from Glenside, PA. Hi, Rob.

Calling with an overheard. Hi. I was at a Panera Bread, and I heard a woman in front of me tell her mom, Hey, Mom, what's the deal with these scones or scones? I don't understand it. Her mom turned around and looked at her. I thought she was going to face palm her. Couldn't believe it.

See ya. Did you just put that one in there? I just liked his whole vibe. I couldn't believe it. See ya. I just liked his whole vibe. I couldn't believe it. No. See ya. We had a little tiff over scones. Yeah.

Speaking of a little tiff, you guys want to listen to some Tiffany? I thought you were going to talk about the Toronto International Film Festival. Oh, right. So that was the first one. We're starting off great. Yep. Next phone call. Hey, Dave and Graham.

This is Matt from Indianapolis. I was having lunch at the state fair today. Dad across the table from me means over to his son, says, hey, you know why I'm eating these mushrooms? Because I'm a funny guy. So close, fair dad. Oh, man. He missed it. He really missed it.

Oh, man. I'm a funny guy. Also, he was calling from He really missed it. Oh man. I'm a funny guy. Also, he was calling from a state fair. Oh yeah. Like, oh, let's go and eat some mushrooms. That was probably some sort of competition. See how many mushrooms you can eat. Yeah, or fit in your mouth.

Yeah. Sit on the scale. See if you weigh the same as a truffle pig. It's a real conceptual art piece you got here. It's all explained on my trifle. The magic of the mushrooms. But they're not magic mushrooms. It's just a coincidence.

This is totally legal, guys. Oh, guys, we're getting through these overheards in record time. Here's your final one of 2015. Hello, Dave Graham and possible guests. I'm calling in an overheard. This is Ellen from Fredericksburg, Virginia in the USA. In a grassy part of my college campus, there was a student who was playing his banjo. And a young girl, maybe about 10

years old, with her mom walking their dog, rode up on her bike and stopped in front of the boy playing banjo to listen for a while, occasionally stopping her foot or clapping her feet, as the music allowed, until the mom passed by and gestured for her to come along. And as they were walking away, I heard the girl whining to her mother that she wanted to stay, saying, oh, but I wanted to stay and listen to the guy with the weird guitar. Yeah, with the

crazy round guitar. Not wrong. Yeah, I guess. It's a weird guitar. What came first, banjo or guitar? I'd like to think. Is banjo a uniquely American instrument? Did it exist in the old country? Maybe it didn't.

No, although I feel like it's a version of a banjo. There's certain chords that just translate over. Like a D chord. A ukulele is a D chord on a guitar. I don't know. I don't ever play the ukulele.

Isn't a ukulele just the top four strings of a guitar? Anyway. Right? Isn't it? Isn't a banjole just the top four strings of a guitar? Anyway. Right? Isn't it? Yeah. Isn't a banjo the same? No, a banjo is different. Oh, there's that weird sixth string that happens halfway down the neck.

Oh. So it must have happened second. Well, and also you don't really play, I guess you play chords on it, but you also just go ding-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling. You go ding-a-ling-a-ling. Ding-a-ling-a-ling. Yeah, yeah. Ding-a-ling-a-ling.

Really? It's a real party. It's a real party instrument. A banjo? Yeah, yeah. Somebody brings out a guitar. You're like, no, put it away. But a banjo, I'd be like, yeah, let's see where this goes.

But have you ever seen it at a party? Never. Yes. You have? But I used to live across the street from a house that was all a band. And they had banjos. A bunch of banjo players. Yeah.

So they would have like crazy Friday night parties. And there'd always be banjos. Friday nights with Mumford and Thumb. Basically. They were the same milieu. Right. But yeah, that feels like everybody's stomping grab a you know washboard a jug whatever we're all gonna do this but a guitar is only like let me show off i feel like the thing

whatever let me play wonderwall whatever that band is they've got like uh the guy a guy had to spend a lot of money on his banjo and everyone else was like well I'll just play this washboard I found yeah I'll just play some garbage

I'll play a jug I'll just scrunch up newspaper this tub I'll put a string on around this tub and it'll be bonk bonk

that's true one guy had to go to an actual music store And music lessons Yeah, we're starting a band Oh, I found some pop bottles Turns out this saw

Is an instrument There's a lot of stuff You can just make from around the house Yeah, yeah, yeah You can make instruments You can make a bomb There's all sorts of different things. How come that anarchist cookbook didn't have any instruments to make?

Here's an instrument the man really hates. What would that be? Napalm. Does orange juice concentrate in gasoline? Oh, from what? Was that Fight Club? Oh, no, that's from the cookbook really is that oh yeah my friend from high school read it like that's a simple recipe yeah try to remember that remember it but don't uh make it yeah uh i think it's all in the amounts

right like just put some orange juice oh You know, do it to taste. If you drink enough orange juice. If I drink enough orange juice. I thought you said jerking off orange juice. You just jerk off

enough oranges. Yeah. Woo. And then you just wait. Yeah. Yeah. I don't even remember

what I was about to say about this. My fault. This brings us to the end of the episode. Chris, first of all, thank you for being our guest. First of all, thank you. First of all, thank you for having me on it. First of all, thank you.

No, first, thank you. But if we could. If I could sneak mine in above yours. Yeah, but if we were just, I mean. Do you have anything you want to plug? There's a couple things I could sneak mine in above yours. Yeah, but if we were just, I mean. Do you have anything you want to plug? There's a couple of things I could plug. When will this air? Oh boy, that's a good question.

What's today? Today is the, this will air on the 28th of September. Okay. So on September 24th, we've got a... No. I know, I forgot to laugh. It wasn't so funny, I forgot to laugh. I just didn't get it. We're doing a bunch of shows in Just for Laughs 42 in Toronto.

This will come out on the 28th. So, you'll already miss Cloud Comedy. But we do that last Thursday of every month in Toronto. That's at the Bad Dog Theater. At the Bad Dog Theater. What's it like living in Toronto? It's so nice. So you can throw out whatever you want.

Yeah. A go-kart. A whole go-kart. Just throwing out go-kart. Gorkult. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. I'm just going to plug the rest of this.

And then that sketch show, Get Some, that I'm in, has shows on the 30th and the 3rd of October. Of October. And 30th of September. Okay. Doing sketch comedy. Fun. In the festival. Oh, okay. In the comedy. Fun. In the festival. Okay.

In the festival. Yeah. In the JFL 42. In the JFL 42. Award winning comedy at JFL 42. Yeah. How do you like it? Do you guys smell skunk?

I do. I really smell skunk. I think the house was skunked. Yeah. In the last 10 minutes. Do you think, I hope it wasn't your dog. I hope the dog was not involved either. I hope Steve the cat was involved. Yeah. In the last 10 minutes. Do you think, I hope it wasn't your dog. I hope the dog was not involved either. I hope Steve the cat was involved.

Yeah. Enough. Enough with that guy. Yeah. Give him a lesson. Teach him a lesson. Give him a lesson. Learn him a lesson.

Take a lesson. Have a lesson. Leave a penny. Take a penny. Have a lesson. Leave a lesson. I saw take a dime, leave a dime recently. So we know that dimes are on their way down.

But also we skipped nickels. I know. Skip nickels was my porn name. That was my banjo playing. Actually, if I get some change, nickel, dime, I put them in the thing. Well, they're not always available. Well, I just leave them around 25 cents and up. If they took away the nickel, I'd just leave them around. I would be fine. 25 cents and up.

If they took away the nickel, I'd be fine with that. Yeah, no one likes the nickel. I'm upset when I get a nickel. No one likes the dime, though, either. No, I like a dime. You too? You can pay for parking with a dime. Yeah, yeah.

But you can't use a nickel. And I feel like you put your head in your pocket, and you know you're feeling a dime, but a nickel, sometimes you get excited, you think it's's a quarter and then you're like time is so tiny yeah times are great oh yeah yeah you know i would be fine we got rid of the nickel kept the just dime quarter and uh i'm not a great fan of the dollar coin you know that statistic that like you swallow eight spiders spiders in your life i feel I feel like it's probably not true, and you probably swallow more dimes than spiders.

Yeah. That's true. I do eat a lot of those cakes that have coins in them. I need to call your friend the lawyer. Better call Saul. I'm passing a lot of coins. Clink. Yeah. Do you use this little coin bucket? I don't know why I'm using the bath. Cl call Saul. I'm passing a lot of coins. Clink. Yeah.

Do you use this little coin pocket? I'm using the bath. I just started using this pocket on my jeans. You just started using the coin pocket on your jeans? Yeah. Like, I don't know. Do you already use it? What do I got there?

No, not your regular pocket. Your point. Oh, you are. You're putting your thumb in the little guy. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, the little guy. Yeah, of course. You can get like 40 bucks of coins in there. Of course. And not feel it. Look at that. I'm guy. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, the little guy. Yeah, of course. You can get like 40 bucks of coins in there.

Of course. And not feel it. Look at that. I'm sorry. Oh, yeah. Five bucks. It's anatomically perfect. Yeah.

It's below the hip bone. What have you been doing all these years? I don't know. You're putting a lighter in there like a badass? Oh, yeah. I've got three bucks

and five cents in there. I'm wearing chinos today, so I don't have a fifth pocket. Just started using it. Is that the difference between a jean and a chino? You guess so, yeah. Hmm. All right. I didn't.

Huh. Hmm. If you like the podcast, head over to MaximumFun.org. Check out the blog recap of this episode, pictures and videos relating to the content of this episode go karts sure uh microwaves susan vega suzanne oh sorry i was thinking of a different person okay uh coin pockets just recently very very very last part of the blog. And yeah, do we have anything to plug? We plugged it at the beginning of the show.

Oh, we're smart. I could plug it. I could re-plug it for you. I was listening. Okay, what was that? You're doing the YYC Comedy Festival. Yeah, yeah. It's Calgary.

And you're doing a thing with Dave. Yeah. Probably this. Yeah, this. A live recording. This is better. And then you're're doing a thing with Dave. Yeah. Probably this. Yeah. A live recording. This is better. And then you're probably doing some stand-up. I am.

And we weren't invited to the festival. That's fine. That's fine with me. No. Well, we'll work on that. And next week, look for a different

host of this show. Oh, yeah, that's right. And look for us doing a different thing. Yeah, it'll be fun. Or not. We don't know. Yeah.

Well, it'll probably be fun. It'll be fun. And if you like the show, please tell your friends and come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned.

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