Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 415 - Kory Mathewson
Episode Date: February 29, 2016Improviser and robot man Kory Mathewson joins us to talk robots, horchata, and belly dancing....
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Hi, he's Dave Shumka.
And he's Graham Clark.
And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself.
Woo!
Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 415 of Stop Podcasting Yourself.
My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who won the Grammy last night for Best Blues Recording, Mr. Dave Shumka.
Mew, mew, no, mew, mew, do, do, do, do.
Yeah, right?
I've got the blues for some reason.
for some reason.
Well,
I committed to make a blues album before
I realized why I was sad.
I've got the blues.
The B-L-U-E-S
blues.
You can see why he won.
He really took on all comers
with that song. The Levi's 501
blues.
Some people say you sold out with that song.
Nope.
And our guest today, an improviser, biomechanic, biorobotic scientist, PhD candidate, Mr. Corey Mathewson.
Yeah, that's absolutely right.
Hello.
How's it going?
It's going all right. How about you? I i'm doing okay good uh should we get to know let's do it
so you are an improviser slash like is scientist the right label do you wear a lab coat uh sometimes
yeah absolutely do wear a lab coat
do they provide them or do you need to you gotta get your own where do you go on mark's work
warehouse usually like value village has some science house yeah mark science warehouse yeah
it's still a warehouse oh yeah it's still huge you can go to value village get the ones that
are embroidered with someone else's name oh yeah carl yeah albert
dr carl yeah that sounds all right better labels after your name um so yeah improviser with rapid
fire theater yeah in edmonton and uh yes scientist is totally exactly what i do engineer student uh
then i became a master in engineering then i I became a PhD student in computer science. So is that what you do during the days?
During the days, yeah.
So what are you doing?
So I guess what I'm really trying to do is build a robot that I can do an improv show with.
That's like what I tell everyone is my ultimate goal is build a robot that is someone I can improvise with on stage.
Really?
Yeah.
Like actually?
Like sincerely, yeah.
Oh, okay.
So like imagine her but a
live stage performance where I'm
doing that with a robot. Where I'm doing that with a robot.
Where you're doing that with a robot. Yeah. Yeah, I get it.
Now I'm picturing it. Yeah.
So like the robot will send
a proxy for you to improvise with.
Isn't that what they do in her? Like she sends
a woman to have sex with him.
Yeah, yeah, exactly. Alright, yeah.
So the goal would be, I mean...
A robot who can call one of your friends
and do a problem.
Yeah.
But like, so a robot that would be able to,
like you would be able to say something to it
and it would be able to...
Understand what I'm saying,
process what I'm saying,
and then connect it to new ideas.
And something that can maybe,
like if you get to know it really well,
it'll start finishing
your...
Sandwich.
Have you seen that
movie Ex Machina?
Ex Machina?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah,
I love that one.
I haven't seen it.
Is it good?
Good improv in it.
Yeah,
it was actually
a fully improvised script.
Yeah.
Yeah,
live action improv.
A lot of stuff
just happened on the day.
It was just Larry David's in it, right? Yeah. Yeah, live action improv. A lot of stuff just happened on the day. It was just Larry Davidson, right?
Yeah.
And they have the drummer just drumming in the background on some scenes.
When I think of a robot on stage, I think of your Chuck E. Cheese's.
Right.
Oh, yeah.
You're going to make a new amusement park kind of robot.
Yeah.
And they were all, i think like air controlled like it was all like puffs of air that made them yeah yeah and then it would
move its mouth terrifyingly like yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah uh i mean that's that's totally that's
like baseline mechanism that it has a very baseline mechanism it has air controlled mouth move right so it's
like i'd say that's level one it's just the basic mechanism so that's like that's uh like is that
something that even somebody who doesn't know anything about robotics could maybe do build
yeah yeah all right i'm listening you can make one right now but it doesn't adapt at all it's
not maybe it's adapting a little bit, like it's got a little sensor.
So when you come into the haunted house, then the animatronic scream.
I think it adapts, like around December, they'll give, like it'll be wearing a hat.
Yeah.
A Santa hat.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
On the giant rat.
Maybe, yeah, maybe on like St. Patrick's Day, like a funny, like a green bowler.
Yeah.
Yeah. Chuck E. Cheese is artificial like a green bowler. Yeah. Yeah.
Chuck E. Cheese is artificial intelligence.
They're adapting.
Yeah.
They're learning.
Yeah.
What, like what inspired you to get into like robotics?
A lot of bad improv partners.
Oh, really?
No.
You're like, I'm going to create this.
Yeah.
I think I know what a better improv partner.
That's so sad.
Yeah.
No, honestly, what it was is, like, I started in engineering,
and all the problems in engineering, they'd be like,
you know who we should get to solve this problem?
The computer scientists.
The people that are doing artificial intelligence, big data, whatever,
all these keywords, they are the ones that actually know the solutions to the problem.
So I think what got me interested in that in general is like, I think our bodies are
strong, relatively strong enough, but we start to deteriorate in mind or in physical ability.
Speak for yourself.
Yeah.
Okay.
Maybe we get better.
Do you want me to lift you up?
Yeah.
Like if you think I'm deteriorating, I can prove you wrong.
I can make it happen. Yeah. We are strong. Yeah. Dave will pick you up right over his head. up yeah like if you like if you think i'm deteriorating i can prove you wrong i can
make it happen yeah we are strong yeah dave will pick you up right over his head spin you around
so uh is your is your is the ultimate goal to put a human brain in a robot body so that it can keep
going forever yeah like a krang yeah yeah yeah where it is the overlord of it yeah like mad max style
yeah yeah keep them living forever and krang krang will be up on stage like all right can
i get an occupation yeah supreme overlord the destroyer of the human race all right okay good
i think i heard i think i heard. I think I heard Ninja Turtle.
And it's like I thoroughly, I don't know anything about.
Well, let me ask you this.
Do you interact with any robots on a day-to-day basis?
Do you have a.
I interact with Siri.
Yeah, you have Siri?
Yeah.
Is that considered a robot?
I think so.
I think it's an artificial intelligence. It's not necessarily a robot in like a it doesn't have actuators yeah and it barely ever does that
unless you ask it to beatbox or something can you say zeepzorp i figured as much
all right yeah questioning that intelligence all of a sudden i also i have my uh series australian
which is annoying um what would be like like do you have a roomba i don't have a roomba
okay who do you think we are yeah i don't i don't know i just i see a lot of carpet
uh it's true a roombaa could really get around this place.
Grandpa would hate it.
Mario would probably love it.
Yeah.
All right. That would be like a basic robot.
Yeah.
A Roomba.
Okay.
But what are robots that like rich people?
Do rich people have robots?
Yes, some.
I mean, in North America, not as much.
But in Japan, there's totally rich people robots.
There's like compassion bots, which is something that's very common.
So in like old folks home, they'll have compassion bots that come and spend time with an older person.
That comes, has a bit of a personality, comes and sits down, asks you questions, and then you respond accordingly.
And then...
And calls you up and steals your identity.
Yeah.
That's the...
Slowly queries things.
That's the North American equivalent of Compassion Bot.
Yeah.
Is some sort of con artist on the phone?
Yeah, some kind of phone scam.
A telemarketing scheme.
How do...
Like, I don't know how much you know about these robots,
these Compassion Bots.
Yeah, I'm only slightly... But, like, is that't know how much you know about these robots, these compassion bots. Yeah, I'm only slightly, yeah.
But, like, is that, do the seniors like that?
Yes.
Or do they hate it?
Are they uninvited?
Are they terrified of them?
Yeah, like, here, talk to this robot for an hour.
No!
Like, it's a weapon against the aging society.
Yeah, Like,
uh,
I don't know.
I think that was,
cause when I think about,
um,
like I was talking with,
uh,
Ben Mills,
uh,
past guest on the show,
he was talking about how,
um,
the bright brothers,
you know,
invented the airplane.
Yeah.
And then,
but they lived long enough to see those airplanes like drop
bombs on hiroshima and stuff right right so in their life they went from no planes to
destructo yeah destructo plane yeah so like i feel like i was born into an era of like
no robots am i going to die in an era should i live a long time yeah of all robots i i mean maybe not
all robots but definitely like a military made of robots that doesn't have any human emotion
that is just a killing army is something you'll see before you die and that's how you'll die
it's something you'll see right before you die. My horoscope was right.
Shouldn't have got out of bed today.
I think that's possible.
I mean, it's totally coming.
That makes two of us. Yeah.
What about...
Are you telling me that artificial intelligence is going to be able to make jokes like that?
I mean, maybe.
I don't know.
Yeah.
It's a whip quick.
What about that Hugh Jackman movie
where he controls robots that wrestle?
Oh, yeah. Real Steel.
Is that good?
What movie?
Let's check IMDb.
I mean, my opinion is only one.
How is it on Rotten Tomatoes?
Is it good?
I haven't seen it.
I haven't even heard about it.
No one in robotics is talking about it.
It's not a real question.
I would like to hear movie reviews where the movie has a robot in it.
Yeah.
Reviewed by people who actually do robotics.
Sure.
That's a show I would listen to.
Or reviewed by robots.
Dave, don't.
Don't give the robots any ideas.
Can you teach a robot to have an opinion?
Yeah.
That's a great one there's actually
a really cool uh neural storyteller uh program from u of t that jamie kiros makes this awesome
neural storyteller and it looks at a picture and then it can talk about the picture and then it's
like been shown little bit bits of movies and it can tell you stuff about the movie make inferences
about the movie oh yeah like me with trailers yeah yeah yeah it can be like hey he's gonna die
in the end i I know, yeah.
So what?
It sees a picture and then it can tell you the backstory of what's going on in the picture?
Yeah, it can build a backstory.
Wow.
Yeah.
So it could technically write a review, generate a review based on what it sees.
Robot reviews.
But then who are they reviewing it for?
Other robots to see?
Or is it for?
Is it for the humans?
Do we trust the robotic reviews?
This is the question, right?
Because like we want robots to help us all the way.
When do they decide to start killing us off?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Can we build in some compassion?
Where do we start?
So like, you know, there's like the general rules of robotics.
Isaac Asimov has some like general rules.
Yeah.
That it should like try not to harm.
Bros before hoes.
Yeah.
Rule number one, bros before hoes.
Bots before nots.
Pretty good.
But it shouldn't be.
It should be nots before bots.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, nots before bots.
Yeah.
Maybe that's the number one rule of robotics
yeah flesh before mesh
do they make robots out of mesh?
yeah they'll be wearing mesh tank tops
80's bots
we design robots but we just design them
a little bit out of fashion
that way we know who they are
so we can identify
them on the street
it's hard to tell if this person's a robot or just German.
Yeah, but if it's cold outside and you see somebody walk around with a mesh tank top, you're like, robot.
So hopefully you can program those rules in that the robot follows until it doesn't want to follow the rule anymore.
Yeah, or until it teaches itself to get rid of that rule. Yeah.
So one of the thought experiments is like
if you taught a robot
how to play football
really good. You taught the robot how to play football
really good. It knew everything how to play
football. What would you do
if it didn't want to play football?
Oh boy. Well, I'd give him a real inspiring
speech in the locker room.
Go out there and do it for the team.
No, I in team.
Do not let the robot see concussion.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So what do you do?
Don't you just power down the robot?
Chop its head off?
Like, is that a fair thing to do?
Why not?
Flesh before mesh, buddy.
I guess. Is that a fair thing to do? Why not? Flesh before mesh, buddy. But like, is there kind of an ultimate goal with robotics?
Football.
Yeah, football.
I think a robotic football team is.
That would be great.
They say that by 2050, a team of robots will beat the top human World Cup soccer team.
That's like one of the goals of robots.
But I think the goal is a strong AI.
Everyone's talking about strong artificial intelligence.
So an AI so strong that it can make the next development in AI.
So, oh, really?
So robots making robots?
Yeah.
Babies having babies.
Oh, wow.
Babies having babies.
Wow.
I don't think that's right.
It's the same analogy.
Yeah, but I just, you know,
something doesn't ring true about that.
Did you almost say compute?
Wait a second.
Let me just mesh.
What am I doing in this tank top?
I knew it.
But, oh, so it's like they would work on the next day i
and then that ai on and on yeah yeah but then what will we do yeah what do we what do we up we become
just opinion people we already are have you read the amazon reviews yeah like what what uh uh what are you what are humans in in this robot yeah this is a i i mean
i don't know i think that i think that's a good question what what what do we serve to what end
do we exist we're gonna end up on bicycles like powering a plant yeah powers the robot yeah and
then like doing thumbs up and thumbs down when the robot does something.
Like, is this to your satisfaction?
Meh, no, man.
I don't think that's
what the founders
of the Constitution
intended.
I don't know
what role we'll serve.
I don't know
when there's eventually
enough robots to care.
That's our kids' problem.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's true.
Yeah, and our robot kids.
What, is there any like laws about, because, you know, there's like laws about cloning.
Yeah.
And stuff like that.
Is there laws like you can't marry a robot?
Yeah, like right now, for sure.
But I mean, just in the US, they just said that driverless cars, that Google's automated cars are considered drivers.
So like there are currently rules.
The rules are totally exclusionary to robots right now.
Right, right.
But it's slowly changing.
So we're slowly making our way into a world where robots have rights or equivalent rights like drivers and can be held accountable for that.
Wow. So yeah, I think right now there's a ton of exclusion. have rights or equivalent rights like drivers and can be held accountable for that wow so yeah i
think right now there's a ton of exclusion like there's you know no robot change room at the gym
no there should be though nah but i think we should i think we should have same water fountains
that's just me man i don't i get intimidated in the change room when i see their danglers
the crazy battery penis I get intimidated in the change room when I see their danglers.
Their crazy battery penis.
What do you even plug that into?
Wouldn't you like to know?
This robot's fun at locker room talk.
He snaps the towels so hard.
So hard.
It broke the skin.
Then he goes in the shower and malfunctions because he's not on a robot.
Classic football bot.
Hit the showers.
And he starts punching the shower.
They pour Gatorade on the robot coach.
Wow.
This is fun.
We should have more experts and less idiots.
Yeah, because I'm fascinated.
I don't think there are rules, to go back to your initial question.
There's no rules that say you can't build whatever kind of robot.
I mean, there's a group of people that are saying robots should be used for good.
Like, similar to how when nuclear research was happening,
a group of people came together and was like, you shouldn't use these as weapons.
We all kind of agree.
This is a crazy freaking weapon.
Right.
So the same idea is sort of happening with some experts in the AI world,
that they've all come together and signed a petition that sort of says, like,
we should use this for good,
not evil.
Right.
Right.
Everyone.
Surely they're going to be used for evil.
Yeah.
And,
and yeah,
there's a bunch of people that aren't signing that petition.
So what do they have in mind?
Yeah.
I didn't sign it.
Well,
why not?
I wasn't like,
they gave me that petition
like on the street
and it was a guy with a clipboard.
Will you sign his
petition you're like no i got my hands full of groceries sorry like i need more time yeah yeah
yeah i already give to greenpeace yeah i don't want to end up on a list um uh is a drone a robot
or is that that's just a remote control like yeah a drone is technically a robot it's got some
artificial intelligence it's got some actuation it's moving around in a certain way yeah a drone is technically a robot it's got some artificial intelligence
it's got some actuation it's moving around in a certain way right a drone could be considered
some kind of robot it's it's maybe programmed maybe it has some subroutines that it's looking
for something so like a surveying drone you have some of those in bc to check out the like forests
oh yeah yeah oh really i watch them all the time yeah That's crazy. I didn't know we had those. You've got to check out those forests.
Like for fires.
Yeah.
Not just a sea forest.
Yeah.
They lose sight of the trees.
Yeah.
Or the other way around.
Oh, I didn't know we had those.
Yeah.
I mean, you could go to the Apple store right now and get your own little program drone.
This is like the,
the,
what I see people flying and then crashing into a neighbor swimming pool.
Is that what I think? Yeah.
Yeah.
Like the remote control helicopter,
but it would have some level of stability above what we remember as kids is
like the remote control helicopter.
Oh yeah.
That would break on the first try.
Yes.
You flew it into the Christmas tree.
But did you, when you were growing up did you like uh did you like take stuff apart tinker around with stuff yeah like totally totally that
electrical engineering was like strong in my house my dad's and then who are your favorite robots as
a child uh rosie from the jetson is like number one in my world okay just like cool opinionated
sassy right yeah down to help in all situations down to clown every tool
dtf um and like inspector gadget obviously was oh he was a robot he was a robot sort of like augmented he was a droid
yeah he was a borg cyborg is that is that the term a droid like a few a droid yeah cyborg yes
cyborg yeah there's like cybernetic human if you want to call it or cyborg is more when are we
getting that uh or do we have it i mean you of have it. Like, lots of people have implantable things that keep their heart going.
Oh, yeah, of course.
Or implantable shoulders.
Or implantable diabetes medication.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah, like plumps.
Yeah, yeah.
So we're making these augmented humans.
It's only a matter of time.
So we just need to give more people diabetes.
Yeah.
I'm working on it.
That's what we're talking about.
Yeah.
I've got a robot that's making a more
delicious eclair.
Wow.
So like
Graham your favorite
robot as a child?
Yeah.
I mean
now that Inspector
Gadget's on the table
I'd probably say
Inspector Gadget.
Was it Vicky
from Small Wonder?
Yeah I guess I probably
had a crush on Vicky.
Yeah.
Or what was the robot
from Short Circuit? Oh Johnny Five. Yeah Johnny Five. Yeah, I guess I probably had a crush on Vicky. Yeah. Oh, what was the robot from Short Circuit?
Oh, Johnny Five.
Yeah, Johnny Five.
Yeah.
Johnny Five.
And then like on the scary side, probably the Terminator.
Yeah.
Terminator.
And obviously, okay, a movie called Westworld.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Yul Brynner.
Yul Brynner.
Yeah.
So that was like, just blew my mind as to like, oh, that's what can go wrong.
I heard. Oh, yeah. I think they're making a TV show of it. They are. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so that was like, just blew my mind as to like, oh, that's what can go wrong.
I heard, I think they're making a TV show of it.
They are, yeah, yeah.
But they've been making it for a long time.
It's because they're using, actually, Yul Brynner.
So it takes a long time to do everything.
Really need to make it work. That movie was directed, written and directed by Michael Crichton.
Wow.
I mean, it is kind of just Jurassic Park.
Yeah, but with cowboy robots.
But in the Congo.
Yeah.
What about you?
Favorite robot?
Yeah.
Vicky.
Vicky?
Yeah.
Small Wonder.
Yeah, she's pretty and bright with dark curls.
Small Wonder, a girl unlike other girls.
She's something, and I'll tell you, and something at first sight.
You won a Grammy last night.
Oh, wonder.
To make your heart feel right, maybe?
What about the Star Wars bots?
Like those do you make your list?
Yeah, I never liked R2-D2.
Yeah.
But C-3PO.
Really?
Yeah, R2-D2, I always just thought was kind of like, I always thought of him as C-3PO was really? yeah R2-D2 I always just thought
was kind of like
I always thought of him
as C-3PO's dog
I didn't think of them
as friends
well they're not friends
they're not really friends
but they can
he can understand
his like
whenever he makes that noise
but C-3PO is
he's just like uptight.
Yeah, he's finicky bot.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's sort of got sass.
He's got a personality.
And then I liked in Spaceballs, the Joan Rivers equivalent.
Oh, yeah.
Right.
Yeah.
Because she was like a Joy Behar of space.
Yeah. And then so your dad was also an electrical engineer?
He was like an eng tech.
So we always had gear around the house.
So like I got electrocuted early on, got that over with.
Oh, awesome.
And then like was able to move past that into testing, noodling around.
What?
Pulling apart a TV.
Did your hair go crazy?
Like on TV?
Yeah, and then I had so many
ideas.
That's when I knew.
He fused
with the computer.
And it's why I can do this now.
Whoa!
My top just came off.
It worked.
Yeah, so needless to say, we could try things out.
We could always play around.
We had the tools to deconstruct a radio, try to rebuild it.
Wow.
Yeah.
I always had the tools to deconstruct things, but they just broke.
Dad had broken another thing.
Yeah, because I think I took apart a thing with the hopes of making it better.
And then, yeah, I just broke it.
Giving your TV more channels.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, being able to create a camera that could see in space.
Yeah, I would always just unscrew the back of the G.I. Joes and swap the tops and bottoms.
No, that's pretty good.
That's pretty good. No, That's not really robot-y.
But yeah, we'd take apart
the computer and go down to the
CPU level microprocessor and understand
what's actually happening.
I still don't know what's happening back there.
It's just little men, tiny little men, racing around.
Shuffling.
Vibrantly letters.
Little pots.
Did you ever build your own computer or anything like that?
Like, no, pieced it together.
Right.
Did you ever have a misguided idea like, I'll just make an ATM machine.
Then I'll have unlimited money.
For a little bit of time, there was a craze.
When we used to have old fashioned pay phones. Yeah.
There was like a lot of ways to hack those pay phones.
Oh yeah.
So I had like a bunch of great ideas about hacking. And then one time I was like noodling around with a pay phone outside of a max or like
a red rooster.
It's called in Edmonton.
Oh yeah.
And the cops came up and gave me a real hard time.
Oh, which was just like, don't, don't fuck around with that.
And I was like, no, I'm, I'm stealing.
There's just the calls. I don't care about the money that's inside and they're like well still stealing calls yeah oh like getting free calls yeah because you could like okay if you
tap the if you tap it or if you play the right tone into the into the microphone right then you
could like play a fake dial tone and it would sound like the coins were hitting it because the
coin was actually just translated into a tone and then that tone is like some amount of currency oh
man you should see the air quotes flying around yeah so yeah i was trying to do that i'd say that
was like the most misguided and like you know in the early days of the internet i was in too deep way too young right
so that was like a lot of like message boards obviously yeah bulletin boards irc early irc oh
yeah yeah were you on that oh internet really chat i only ever yeah i just remember going to
my friend phil's house and he had early internet,
and we all sat around for two hours while he downloaded a naked picture of the lady.
Just praying that someone wouldn't pick up the phone.
Yeah, like it was, I remember when it got down to her eyebrows.
We had been there for like 25 minutes.
I was like, ugh.
Oh, boy.
Down to her eyebrows.
Oh, wait, it was Weird Science? That was that that lady's a robot she's a robot she was very much just built to be like a cool sexy friend to those two weird dudes yeah that's all any of us want
yeah a cool sexy friend that's why i have graham yeah and i dave um but yeah like the uh samantha samantha
right and her name yeah maybe yeah maybe in the tv show not the movie i don't really remember
and it was vanessa on gel oh yeah from kingpin and like wasn't the thing in weird science that
lightning made that all work right yeah yes yeah yeah they that was their way of smoothing
over the details because it was you know early 90s yeah science i feel like from 1920 all the
way up until 19 maybe 95 lightning was the way that these things happened back to the future
for sure yeah we can somehow get lightning into the thing yeah that'll that'll just answer all the
questions it's so much energy um when you got electrocuted was it like just like a zap or like
did you actually like pass out uh no it was it was enough to like close my hand so what happens
is when you get electrocuted your muscles contract and so that's why you don't want to grab onto
something so just close my hand really tight freak me the hell out and yeah didn't touch it but no So what happens is when you get electrocuted, your muscles contract. And so that's why you don't want to grab onto something.
So I just closed my hand really tight.
Freaked me the hell out and didn't touch it.
But no, nothing psychological.
I electrocuted myself at a coffee shop many years ago trying to fix the coffee maker.
Which I didn't know was plugged in at the time.
It just felt like somebody hit me in the chest at close range.
Yeah.
I imagine if I was older, that probably would have killed me, right?
If you're older.
Yeah, I think my young heart was able to take the crazy jolt of electricity.
Yeah, no problem.
Was this before or after you got a monkey heart?
Oh, yeah, I guess it was before.
Okay.
Now I'm indestructible now that i
have that baboon's heart you can make sure i got it from the head baboon all right my i i'm sure
there's more electron electro electrocution stories than i can remember but my favorite
is in my house i think my mom was trying to unplug the toaster.
And she didn't realize.
Or she was just like, I'll just use this knife to unplug it.
And it was like a big knife.
I'll just cut the cord off.
There you go.
And like the knife got burnt.
Like the blade is burnt with the two prongs of the plug.
She was fine, but.
It's the easiest way if you don't have fingernails to get in behind it.
There's no other way to pull something out.
Oh.
Yeah.
I also remember trying to like aquarium, trying to fix the aquarium light.
So like it was flickering and we were like, yeah, we can fix that.
Pull that out.
But just like pulled it out.
Still plugged in. Totally zapped myself both both and then just like big flash of light
light goes into the aquarium all three fish die yeah it's terrible well we've solved the problem
regardless aquarium's fixed yeah no need to worry about keeping these fish alive anymore.
Oh, man.
Yeah, so it's like now if a young kid were wanting to get into robotics,
there's no more Radio Shack anymore.
Yeah.
So what does a kid do?
I guess just order stuff online.
Yeah, there's like Spark Fun is like the website,
and they sell like kid kits.
Make your own kid. Yeah, make your own kid kits. Yeah, kid makes like Spark Fun is like the website, and they sell like kid kits. Make your own kid.
Yeah, make your own kid kits.
Yeah, kid makes his own friend.
Super easy.
So then you don't need Radio Shack at all.
Yeah, like I would think, yeah, if I had the ability to make any kind of machine as a kid,
I would have used it for dubious purposes.
Like what?
What are you imagining?
Like the thing
like you were saying getting free phone calls and stuff like i would have like figured out a robot
to call my parents and say that graham doesn't have to come to school today um and my parents
would be like for the fifth day in a row just just saying graham specifically doesn't have to
but his brother still have to go to school yeah graham is so smart he doesn't have to, but his brother still has to go to school. Yeah, Graham is so smart.
He doesn't have to go to school today.
I remember the toy that, like, it was a toy robot that you could get.
It would swallow a coin.
Is that what it did?
Maybe he's just thinking about a piggy bank.
Yeah, some sort of piggy bank. Wasn't there uh there was like a toy a couple
years ago it's like this big white robot yeah that's like but i've never seen one work like
they're always at the thrift store really yeah yeah with the face with the little like ears
yeah yeah yeah aldebaran now so it's a french company and they got three sizes yeah like
they're quite big yeah yeah yeah yeah and those are the robots they used to play robot soccer
oh really yeah exactly those robots so you can like see a team of them playing but there's like
some difficulty in programming them and they're not the most robust things right so we like burnt
one out in the lab because it it it's not very good at exploring like it's
not very good at doing things that it's not programmed exactly to do right uh so that like
burns a lot of them out and then they end up in the junk heap oh yeah they're like 9 000 bucks
really yeah holy shit so there's some useful parts if they're in the junkie yeah it's uh
but like are they remote control you program stuff in and then they just go and do it?
You can do either.
But yeah, you can totally program them to do things.
Like the robot soccer, no one's controlling them with a thing.
They're just looking around, seeing where their team is, seeing where their ball.
It's like the puppy bowl.
Yeah.
Did either of you guys watch the puppy bowl this year?
I didn't, but I know the dogs are notoriously hard to program.
They end up on the junk heap.
It was the roughs versus the toughs.
Is that true?
Yeah.
It was the greatest.
I've never watched the puppy bowl before.
What's the competition?
What do they have to...
Every quarter they bring in new cute puppies.
They introduce them.
And then they've just got a bunch of toys.
And then if a dog picks up the toy and runs into the end zone,
that's a touchdown.
That's a touchdown.
Yeah.
And the cheerleaders are a bunch of chickens.
They bring out at halftime.
They do a show.
Cold play was also there.
Incredible.
And then they do profiles of the different dogs,
showing them at home.
And they're,
cause they,
you can adopt all of the dogs.
Oh, I see. It's an ad.
Yeah, it's an ad.
For all these corporations trying to get us
to adopt their fancy dogs.
Actually,
when I went to Japan, I went to Japan in November
and I saw
a designer dog store.
Trying to get people
to adopt cute dogs.
It was like this little tiny shop that was like super fancy, dog store. Trying to get people to adopt cute dogs, talking about that.
It was like this little tiny shop that was like super fancy,
super tiny dogs.
And like posts that they would like show you the dog.
This totally blew me away. I didn't know this
existed. So it's like a dog
boutique. Like a dog boutique,
but like a puppy, an early puppy
boutique. And there's like six
that are available. and they like are really
solemn like a like a showroom i've only ever seen like adopting dogs at like a spca yeah or like a
back and probably not as much anymore but at like a pet store they just have that weird pen with all
the puppies in it yeah yeah yeah yeah you just be like that one yeah and then uh but this is like a
lady would what come out and
like,
yeah,
yeah,
yeah.
And show you and give you like a compassion
lady.
Yeah.
Maybe a human.
Yeah.
And we're talking like 13 million yen,
like,
like the most expensive dogs you've ever seen.
Wow.
And like bread to just be this tiny,
this to be like a little,
like whatever.
T cup. Yeah. are we all gonna look
up uh the exchange rate on yen yeah what's 13 it's like it's like 100 to 1 so 130 000 no 13 000
13 000 that's a lot for a dog that's a spicy meat the dog god willing um yeah i don't know i don't know uh do you think in the future like uh
will robots be cheap enough that i will be able to afford a robot in the future yes i think you
can do one right now yeah go to the thrift shop and pick up one of those junk keepers i'm gonna
pop some bots but then i don't know what to do with like because i've bought those robots before
and then i've given them away.
And they're not good at, like, kissing.
Yeah, then I go to kissing.
They don't want to grab my wiener.
You got to program them.
They're just, they don't like to explore my body.
It's not how they do it.
It's why.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
That's true.
I want them to initiate.
Yeah.
And I try to electrocute them so their hands will clench over my parts,
but it doesn't work like that with them.
It's harder to electrocute them.
It just gives them more energy.
Yeah, it just makes them smarter.
Yeah.
I can do better than you.
I'm putting you in the shower.
Let's go score some Coke.
Oh, Coke bots.
Addicted bots.
Yeah.
I think you could totally go out and get a robot if you wanted.
Yeah.
If you wanted right now, you could make it happen.
It's maybe not the most cost-effective thing.
No, that's true.
But what would you want it for is the best question.
Because we're in the generation where we're making them for for people that don't know what they
would even use them for yeah that's true i don't know what i would use a robot for like probably
like a laundry bot yeah cleaning stuff drive you somewhere bot like the automated car is like
yeah the self-driving car really appeals to me yeah yeah you and a whole number of people
yeah industry it seems crazy that we don't already have that or am i wrong nope you're absolutely
right right yeah it feels like to 2016 we should probably we should already have that like people
still driving cars seems pretty yeah yeah i mean there's like an element of control we'd like to have the control
oh yeah i think i love the rumble of the engine yeah well and you like racing for pinks that's
true um yeah which yeah i guess robots wouldn't do because they would they would self-driving cars
have pinks you you go to bed and then your car just goes out and races for fakes?
Were you drag racing last night?
You didn't go to Dead Man's Curve, did you?
I'm going to check your coordinates.
Gleep, Glorp, Vroom.
Vroom, Vroom.
Do you think that we'll design robots to reflect our idea of that they make sounds like gleam glow and such yeah that's important makes us comfortable with them yeah
yeah that we know at all at all times that they're still robots yeah yeah there needs to be some
element so there's a concept called the uncanny valley yeah that you're familiar with well it's
like when something's too familiar you can really start to see the issues with it oh okay like it's a big issue with insects robots yeah
oh yeah right maybe the biggest the uncanny valley because it's uh so it's like the closer you try to
make it to a real yeah person the more it's like creeps you out kind of thing. Yes, yeah, exactly. Right. Yeah, so that's why
a lot of animation is very
it's not very naturalistic.
Right. It's maybe the easy
way to think of it. Oh yeah, because then whenever they do
the naturalistic stuff like Polar
Express, everybody's like, ugh.
The eyes.
Yeah, yeah.
So that's why we'd want to keep them
looking and sounding like robots that's why
they're like these white little cyborgs or whatever right because because if they're
on that cusp then it's uncomfortable yeah for us yeah okay yeah that that totally makes sense
yeah i don't know man like even animatronics like disney animatronics kind of creep me out yeah and i know that they're
like not supposed to look necessarily like that like silicone flesh yeah oh man oh man and it's
like uh they did a in vanity fair i think they did an interview with the guy who created those
real dolls uh-huh yeah there's a photo of how they ship yeah the real dolls and they look like
it's like a lady's body and then the head is down between her legs for shipping
so weird yeah but uh but then they asked him what why not make it into like a robot and he said oh
because that freaks everybody out when it when the things do things yeah then
that freaks out the customers so they don't that's why they haven't turned them into robots uh-huh
yes because i guess a guy who wants to have sex with a real doll doesn't want it to be real
he's like i like it i like the doll aspect yeah yeah yeah i still want a little bit of that yeah
there's a robot maker in japan who like makes them with his own hair he made like a body double
of his his exact self so he like dresses it and goes to work with it and like and so it's like
why like just as like a statement he's like half artist half engineer okay it's like a this is
look at what we look what we can do.
Everyone's afraid to do it, but I can do it.
Huh.
So.
And this is in Japan?
Yeah.
Unbelievable.
Who would have thought?
Of all places.
Yeah.
There was a play in the Edinburgh Fringe Festival.
Yeah.
That starred a person and a robot.
Really?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I think it might've been, I yeah yeah and i think it might have been
i don't like it might have been remote control yeah whatever or programmed or whatever yeah yeah
but that was the big selling point of it was yeah it was this person and a robot that was this year
yeah wow yeah no you couldn't get tickets because it was like sold out well in advance that's great
yeah so and like and it it's that was the whole poster like
a real robot yeah yeah i'll say that yes please also how would i know because if it was somebody
in a robot costume how would i know right especially if they were had a kazoo in their uncanny I want to learn more about that guy who brings
the robot version of himself
everywhere
yeah I made this robot
with my own hair
and like fingernails oh it's so weird
you gotta see it wait how does he make
the fingernail he like he
he was showing in the video like
his hand and the robot's hand.
And he did each of his fingernails, imperfections in the fingernails.
Oh, okay.
Sculpted them.
But he didn't take out his own fingernails and put them in the robot?
No.
He just turns himself into a crazy freak.
Yeah.
I took out my tongue.
He just tortures himself.
I took out my tongue.
He just tortures himself.
I want to find out more about that show.
That sounds like a great show.
Well, we'll exchange emails.
Okay, great.
Because, yeah, it's only halfway through that I remembered,
oh, yeah, I saw that poster for that show.
Yeah, that's cool.
I was thinking about doing something similar for the Edmonton Fringe.
Do it. I should talk to this person.
I think it's,
it moves tickets, man.
There you go.
Everybody wants to see
a robot on stage,
especially a giant robot.
Oh, yeah.
Make it bigger.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Keep it huge.
Yeah.
Like King Kong.
Oh, yeah.
But no flash photography
freaks out the robot.
It's always easy
to find a huge venue
like that for a fringe fest
yeah yeah yeah
that'd be cool if King Kong had to do a fringe fest
like they had to test the show
in the fringe circle
before they brought it to New York
yeah
when he freaks out in the fringe festival
just knocking over folding chairs
what's going on with you Daveave oh guys exciting times maybe not robot
exciting times but um i had my first horchata i don't know what that is oh no or yeah yeah oh no Well, it's a time in a girl's life.
You did it!
There's a... It's this Mexican drink.
Okay.
Okay.
And it's like a milky, sweet drink.
Like a...
Is it a warm drink?
No, it's a cold drink.
Okay.
If you've been to a Mexican restaurant, you've probably seen it in like...
Yeah.
Those machines that just keep circulating the juice. Yeah, yeah but it's the milky juice yeah like uh
like juice cubes yeah yeah but those machines yeah are doing a horrible job of selling the product
because it's just spraying on the roof of the glass box and dribbles down it just seems gross yeah they're like are they a robot
yeah is that this machine is cleaning itself with this beverage
and it's a self-doucheing machine
and sometimes you'll see like a machine that that like it has like it's like a discount
slurpee machine or whatever like it's got some weird
spiral thing oh yeah yeah yeah or corkscrew of of liquid that comes out yeah um uh anyway i've i've
long been curious about this drink yeah horchata yeah horchata yeah it's mexican
restauranting it's probably it may not be be from Mexico originally, but it's.
Is it flavored
or is it just like a neutral milky?
It's like a neutral milk hotel.
It is,
no,
it's like,
I think,
like there might be different versions.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I think some of them are nut based.
So you're out.
I'm out for sure.
Sorry.
Yeah, well. But it was sort of like out. I'm out for sure. Sorry. Yeah.
Well, but it was sort of like a, like a cinnamony.
Oh, it was like a milkshake.
That wasn't a milkshake.
Is the goal to cut through the spice?
Cause it sounds like it's the effect.
Oh, that makes a lot of sense.
That's yeah.
Yeah.
That's some good science.
What do you mean cut through the spice?
Oh, of the Mexican food.
Oh, fresh peppers and shit. Yeah. Yeah. yeah um i don't know what the goal is it's but it's always on the menu
yeah i've definitely seen the word like horchata yeah but it's like a freaky
yeah yeah it is it's like uh what's the uh indian uh drink it's like it's got like it's like, what's the Indian drink?
It's like, it's got like, it's like yam.
Paneer.
Palak paneer.
No.
No, isn't paneer a dish? Cheese, yeah.
Yeah, no, it's like a drink, like it's like a Lottie or something like that.
Yeah, a Lottie.
Is that what it's called?
Mango Lottie?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
And I was always very like, hmm, maybe someday i'll try it and i did
and it was really nice yeah that's but it but does it also come in a weird
douche cube broken aquarium
um yeah i i think so just like yeah see maybe yeah yeah it's just like uh you i feel like any sort of
this is like the whitest thing but even you sort of need a tour guide from that culture or someone
at least who can sign off on uh this won't make you sick yeah well also just just like some stuff uh it's just it's very culture specific
the taste like one time i had a an indian cola that was raisin flavored uh-huh yeah it wasn't
good like it's like but maybe in india like raisins like a real it's a real, like a real, it's a real, it's a real hot flavor. It's a delicacy. Yeah. It's just like a dried out grape.
Yeah.
Exactly.
But then I've seen there was a video of like people from that had never tried like, I don't know, it was like Starburst or something like that.
Or no Twizzlers.
And then they thought it was the craziest tasting thing.
Like it tasted like eating a piece of plastic, which it is.
Yeah.
But yeah.
So like, I think there's just things that like you, maybe you grow up with and you're
like, yeah, this is a thing that I drink.
I, yeah.
I'll see.
I definitely will.
I had to stop eating so many Twizzlers just because it is like a plastic thing that sits
in your stomach for a long time.
I feel like your body doesn't know what to do with it.
It's like, I'll try to break this down.
I'll try to reassemble it.
Try to put it back together and send it out like a nib.
It's the same thing as if you swallowed a piece of Lego or something.
Your body's like, okay, we'll try.
We'll do our best.
If you swallowed a bunch of Lego, how much of it would connect?
I don't know.
There's no way of knowing.
Well, I mean, there's one way of knowing.
Pass me that delicious Lego platter.
Lego Jell-O.
Yeah, so try new things.
Yeah, absolutely.
I've heard it in a Will Smith song.
Oh, really?
Yeah, I think it's in i think it's in miami
it's like one of the hooks when he does he have a song about miami yes yes i know it's in a vampire
weekend song horchata yeah huh so this really is like uh it's a cultural touchstone yeah yeah
seems like people know it i but yeah i feel like it uh, I've never seen it and thought I'm going to drink that.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Like it's,
it's,
it's,
yeah,
you need a,
like you need someone with you who's like,
Oh,
you got to try this.
It's the best.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then sometimes,
uh,
a cultural ambassador.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sure.
You,
you,
what you need is like in school when you would have you know
multicultural days and everyone would bring a food from their country yeah yeah i would i like i'm
sure there must be something like that like some food fair that goes on that's like yeah
tastes of all these the problem is if you did that and someone had mexico or guatemala or
honduras or whatever wherever you can get horata, don't write me horchata police.
Like that's got to be 50th on the list of Mexican foods.
Right.
Right.
Yeah.
But if you, like, I'm sure there's countries where milkshake is not a thing.
And I would totally tell somebody to drink a milkshake if they'd never had one.
Every day I tell someone to suck a lemon.
Yeah, that's true.
It's a great source of vitamin C.
Yeah.
Yeah, or like lemonade or something like that.
Like, there's things that I just assume are international, but maybe they're not.
Yeah.
I forget.
I think tea is international. Uh-huh. Everywhere you go you but maybe they're not. Yeah. I forget. I think tea is international.
Uh-huh.
Everyone's got their kind.
Yeah.
Probably coffee, too.
You can probably get
coffee everywhere.
Yeah.
But then,
then I don't know.
Coke.
You can get Coke
in every country.
Yeah,
but I don't think of that
as like
a native to
any place
other than Atlanta.
Yeah.
But then...
Wasn't there a stat that like Coca-Cola recognizes more countries in the world than the United
Nations does?
Oh, really?
They ship to more countries than exist in the United Nations.
Wow.
Like you literally can get Coke anywhere you are.
Yeah.
Well, that was the guy, the guy, whatever his name, that founded Coke.
His whole mandate, he was like, wherever people are, Coke will also be.
Ah, that's why.
Why don't we know his name?
I don't know, because it's not interesting.
And that man's name was Frank S. Horchata.
Oh, no.
Did he observe a similar fate as the Wright brothers?
He saw the destruction. Over time. Oh, no. Did he observe a similar fate as the Wright brothers where he saw the destruction?
Over time.
Oh, sure.
He saw that Coke would kill people.
I mean, he was putting cocaine in it in the beginning.
He started it. And somebody told me that in America, they still use cocaine at an undrugified cocaine as part of the process of making coca-cola really
that they own a special license from the fda it's still addicting or but it's not but they can but
they can like import coca leaves oh that like you wouldn't be like any other company wouldn't be
allowed to do that but because coke has been around forever and like probably owns every politician yeah is a staple of not bernie
sanders do you think do you think he turned it down he's a pepsi guy can't be bought he's the
taste of the new generation never seen him drinking coke so there you go yeah uh is he a guy that he's
got nobody nobody yeah that's his thing bottom exactly okay he got nobody's bottom? Exactly.
Okay.
He's nobody's bottom.
Yeah, the average donation is...
He's a power bot.
Yeah, yeah, absolutely he is.
But is it like...
He doesn't have a super pack.
He doesn't have anything, right?
He just has like individual donors.
More individual donors than there are something in the whole something.
Okay. That was the stat. Yeah. And then there are countries that coke cola ships do yeah but do you think
that there's well i guess that like there's nobody that like coke isn't inventing people
to give him money coke isn't inventing people to give him yeah or like he's getting all this
donor money from people who are dead but secretly coke has like bought those people's identities i mean i don't i mean i haven't seen
any evidence one way or the other but this is an interesting logo it's right in there if you look
deep yeah oh yeah aren't there like coca-cola myths in the logo. Yeah. Yep. Oh, it says something about an inside job.
Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams.
Graham, what's going on with you?
Well, I went this weekend.
I went to Squamish, our neighbor to the north.
That is a town in the mountains.
It's a town between Vancouver and between vancouver and whistler
whistler's like the ski resort yeah vancouver is like the metropolitan center yeah and squamish is
kind of like uh in alberta like banff and canmore oh yeah deal yeah like whistler's like very
you know lots of money very very hoity-toity.
And then Squamish would be like where if you were going to go skiing, but you didn't want to like stay in a crazy expensive hotel, you would stay in a motel in Squamish.
Right.
Okay.
So it's like, it's a nice little town.
Yeah.
Got like nice brew pubs.
Very outdoorsy.
Very outdoorsy.
Yeah.
Is it in the provincial park?
Yeah, I think it is actually.
Like just inside.
Right.
I have no idea.
Yeah.
I think it's like, it's kind of halfway between here and Whistler.
Sure.
And I went up there, I was doing a.
And when I'm growing up, it used to be a tiny town that had, we would at the one like anw that they had uh and now it's now we've got six and yeah but uh yeah like
that's what uh that's what i gathered that it's a town that's like uh like people have moved to
there from here because here's too expensive or if you wanted to raise a family that would be a place to do it
kind of thing and uh so i uh rented a car because there's no like good way to get up there um and
man that renting a car that is the worst fucking thing on earth like i don't understand how uh
particularly budget was who i rented from i don't know how particularly budget was who I rented from.
I don't know how they stay in business because they are fucking off all those guys.
It's the dangerous trap that they lay about like, you want insurance for this?
And it's like, oh, I don't know.
Like I rented the car through like a car rental dot com or whatever.
You know, like just like here's the best price on a car.
And then I filled out the thing and then you get there and they're just trying exactly what you say.
Like, what about this?
What about that?
You need cup holders?
Yeah.
Do you want, oh, oh, did you want a windshield wipers?
Cause you're going to want them going up there.
Lots of chips, lots of chips possible.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was all kind of, uh, they were trying to spook me yeah at the
desk and i was i had already bought like whatever the most minor insurance is and uh they were like
i don't know man those roads up there you know real windy roads and i was like oh you fucking
yeah and then it's like oh yeah no the cook the car you booked is not available we need to like
step you up to this other one yeah they tried to sell me on like a bigger vehicle and I was like,
I'm only going to squad.
Like it's not that far away.
I just need a car because there's no kind of good way to get up there.
And anyway,
so that was a nightmare.
And then what'd you get?
I got a,
let me guess.
Hyundai Elantra.
Very close.
Wow.
Great guess
Yeah
Toyota Camry
Kia Sportage
No it was
It was a Hyundai
Accent
Yes
Really?
Yep
That's small
That's a small car
It was a small car
You're going to want
Something bigger
Oh man
Windy
Yeah
No it was nice
Handled nice
Radio worked
These are all the things
I remember about it
Back windshield wiper Was good Oh Back windshield wiper Yeah yeah Um Handled nice. Radio worked. These are all the things I remember about it.
Back windshield wiper was good.
Oh, back windshield wiper. Yeah, yeah.
And so I drove up there and stayed at a hotel that wasn't great.
And I did this fundraiser for a school, a a waldorf school do you guys know what that is
like a salad yeah yeah it's the same hard-boiled egg in it
no the waldorf salad oh man i looked at it's super gross the waldorf is it like a cold
jellied seafood salad it's not that gross but it's like it's like a horchata salad it's kind
of it's like a creamy and it's got walnuts and it's got grapes oh yeah like it's a real like
crazy salad yeah and so like the waldorf school's like uh it's uh kind of like uh
independent kind of learning yeah school like a real, and it goes up to grade eight,
I think.
And,
uh,
and when you were there,
we were like,
who here goes to the Waldorf school?
And then you were like,
Montessori about your luck.
Oh boy.
What a way to go.
Reach,
reaching.
But,
uh,
uh,
looking up the Waldorf school,
cause I was wondering if it was the same Waldorf from Waldorf Salad.
And they're all connected.
Waldorf School, Waldorf Astoria Hotel.
And so that's where the Waldorf Salad comes from.
Are any of them related to Dorf?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The small golfer.
Yeah.
Or that Waldorf was the name of one of the old guys in the Muppet show.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's obviously part of the whole.
That was named after the hotel.
Right.
And the Statler was the other one.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, and the Waldorf School, like, it's funny because it's like,
it's like now it's this kind of very holistic learning experience it was started by the uh
the waldorf cigarette company to for the kids of the employees of the cigarette company to have
like a leg up in the world so it's like originally it was tobacco it wasn't because it was just like
it wasn't just like um a remote place that needed a school and they built it.
It was just...
No, yeah.
It was just like if you worked for the Waldorf Cigarette Company and you...
It was a style of schooling that allowed those people to school their kids in cigarette town where there wasn't otherwise schools.
Well, I assume.
Or just give your kid a...
Like, this is the best school.
Oh, it's a good thing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You want to work for this company because they'll send your kid to this Like, this is the best school. Oh, it's a good thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You want to work for this company
because they'll send your kid to this good school.
It's a fancy school,
and it's free for all the employees.
There's smoke breaks between every class.
Oh, man.
Free lighters.
Yeah, every desk has an ashtray.
All your kids get to try out the newest cigarettes.
The newest, freshest smokes.
You're allowed to smoke in gym class.
Yeah, at the time, they thought there was nothing better for you than cigarettes.
I mean, I saw a doctor in a print ad.
Yeah.
And I saw a camel as well.
It was handsome.
It was more of his attitude yeah
yeah he wore a leather jacket yeah even though man where he lives it's too hot to wear a leather
jacket his face was sort of uncircumcised um yeah so i went and I did this show. I followed a belly dancer. That was my opening act, was a belly dancer.
Uh-huh.
How long was that show?
Uh, 15 minutes.
15 minutes of belly dancing?
Yeah.
How long do you think a belly dancing set should be?
I've never seen belly dancing other than, you know.
You know what's weird is I've seen it a lot, but I'm not a connoisseur.
How long do you think you could shake your belly for?
Like 15 minutes straight?
Sometimes I just flick it and just see how long it shakes on its own.
But no, I couldn't do it for 15 minutes.
I doubt I could do it for a whole minute before getting out of breath.
I imagine that it would be like between courses at a Lebanese restaurant.
Yeah, like I've definitely been.
Siri, set a timer for one minute.
Done.
I love a good countdown.
Okay, Dave's doing it.
He's wiggling.
Okay.
He's got a good momentum.
Carry on.
Yeah, but also Dave's shaking his whole body, not just his belly.
Isolation there.
Yeah, this is good.
It looks like he's on one of those lazy boys that vibrates.
How much time are you at?
40 more seconds.
How are you feeling? Good?
Well, I also have to pee,
so it's coming in handy
because I wanted to be doing this the whole time anyway.
It just looks like you're being electrocuted
yeah
it's going
it's going pretty well
hey well
keep going
I'm fascinated
you followed
the back dancer
15 more seconds
come on Dave
you can do it
one minute
one minute
slowly slowing down
yeah now he's
just shaking his hands
oh we did it
nice
very nice
okay
um how was your show?
uh it was alright
it was no belly dancing
it was no that
um
uh and then uh
top act to follow?
belly dancing?
uh yeah it's just kind of like i kind of like i feel like with belly dancing it's like people don't know what to do with it yeah because
it's not naughty yeah yeah it's not yeah but it kind of i think maybe it was at some point in time
like wasn't it supposed to be like a seductive like a dance of the seven veils
yeah
sorry
this was at
a Waldorf school
no this was like
a fundraiser for
oh I see
but there were kids there
there was a kid there
oh okay
okay
one person who brought
their
eight year old daughter
who was
great
she was fantastic
she sat in the front row
which I think
would have put a lot
of other comedians off their
game to have an eight-year-old
sitting there. Yeah. But she
was great, and she came up on stage. At one point,
I asked her about all her allergies that she
has.
Horchata. Yeah, she's allergic to.
Yeah, in order of severity,
horchata. Lossy.
And then milkshakes.
Yeah, I don't't but yeah with with belly dancers like i've been in restaurants where they're like and now a belly dance yeah then like i don't is
it as bad as a mariachi band coming from table to table i would say it's because a mariachi band is
just like they're playing at you but i feel like a belly dancer is like a little more attractive.
Yeah.
Like they'll kind of try and like lure you.
Yeah.
Lure you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Into there.
Do you like participating?
Which is exactly what happened to us when you were belly dancing.
It was like, we can't take our eyes off.
I know.
I was like, keep your story going sir it's like i can't
i'm just doing my thing stop staring at that shaking belly and uh yeah it's uh i remember
like the first year i was in vancouver i went over to a friend's house for a party and like
the entertainment for the evening was a belly dancer. And I was like, Oh, this feels very,
this feels, uh,
this feels weird.
Yeah.
This is weird,
man.
She came with a big bouncer.
Yeah.
Don't touch.
Don't touch the belly dancers belly.
Don't try and blow on her belly.
Yeah.
Do one of those raspberries.
Oh,
so hard,
hard not to.
Um,
yeah.
So it was like,
uh, I don't know. I just don't know what to. Hard not to. Yeah. So it was like, I don't know.
I just don't know what to do with belly dancing.
Yeah.
Like with like a burlesque performer, I know that you're supposed to like hoot and holler.
Oh, okay.
Sure.
There's a standard culture that you understand about it.
Yeah.
Burlesque performances sort of invite it.
What kind of music?
What culture is belly dancing?
Yeah.
invite it what kind of music what what culture is belly dancing yeah i like i want to say it's indian or maybe middle eastern was this one or was like music any indication yeah it sounded to me
like indian music okay so indian this is indian belly dancing but yeah that's the extent i know
about and what like in burlesque there's sort of an arc to the story that sort of like the removal
of clothing shows you like the progression to the story.
Yes.
So I'm curious about belly dancing.
No, there's no story.
I mean, or at least not one that I can decipher.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I only go to burlesque dancing for the articles.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like, I don't know.
Like, I remember one time I saw it and they explained after every song, like, this dance is the whatever for the.
Luring the great cat.
Luring the drunk idiot. Yeah. This one's the cat, luring the drunk idiot.
This one's called dancing in front of a drunk idiot.
But yeah, it was like, but I still don't, you know, this was just sort of like an open 15 minutes of.
Yeah.
It's just like, hey, everybody.
Yeah.
Belly dance.
But I don't know if you're supposed to be like, yay, like clapping or if you're supposed to just, you know, sit there.
Marvel in it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. you're supposed to be like yay like clapping or if you're supposed to just right now sit there yeah yeah yeah or if it's like i don't know if it's like got a religious thing that you're supposed
to be like and like is it choreographed or is it just i that's again i don't know i don't know if
it's just like could could could she have gone i'm assuming it was a sheet yeah have gone up also
never seen a male belly dancer uh could she go up and do
five minutes or 20 minutes depending yeah i think so and it's all the same yeah i think
like she was going around the room like it was kind of like somebody just doing crowd work
you know so even if you're like i'm here with a lady who's not my wife i go away from my table
i don't stop drawing attention to us i'm's not my wife. Go away from my table.
Stop drawing attention to us.
I'm cheating on my wife at a fundraiser.
For the school our daughter goes to.
I'm very bad at this cheating thing.
I asked my wife if she wanted to go.
She didn't. She said no.
So I called my mistress.
Look, I got two tickets to this thing.
It's paid for.
It's going to be a belly dancer.
Aren't people going to be there that know you?
They're going to know me.
This is...
It can't work.
My daughter has a soccer game on Saturday.
My wife's got a headache.
You want to come to the soccer game?
World's worst adultery.
Yeah.
Anyways, yeah.
So, you know, I raised a ton of money for the school i did
nice work um and uh yeah i stayed in squamish above of like a really loud bar that was open
till 2 30 in the morning raging till the till the very last minute it was open. Two 30 is late in my book. Yeah. Yeah. And also unless you're a dentist.
Oh no.
Dave's dead.
That was Dave's final joke.
Oh,
well that's the way he wanted to be remembered.
Oh no,
he's back.
He's belly dancing from the grave.
Uh,
uh,
do you guys,
uh,
want to move on to overheards?
Yeah.
Right on.
Hello, Internet.
I'm Travis McElroy.
And I'm Teresa McElroy.
She is my wife.
And he's my husband.
And it is our pleasure to introduce to you a brand new podcast.
Schmanners.
It's extraordinary etiquette.
For ordinary occasions.
Teresa, let me ask you this.
Can you teach me how to write a thank you note?
Yes, I can.
How about tips to improve my table manners?
I'll do my best.
And will you finally explain to me the difference between casual and business casual and cocktail and formal and black tie and all that stuff?
If anybody can, I can.
But like, it's going to be funny, right?
and all that stuff.
If anybody can, I can.
But like, it's going to be funny, right?
Of course.
I'm going to give historical origins and how those manners fit into our everyday lives.
How could it not be funny?
But also sometimes we'll talk about like burps and farts, right?
Yeah, when not to.
But we'll still talk about it.
Yes.
Great.
So come join us for our new hilarious show.
No RSVP required. Coming to you soon every Friday on MaximumFun. Great. So come join us for our new hilarious show. No RSVP required.
Coming to you soon every Friday on MaximumFun.org.
It's Schmanners.
Manners, Schmanners.
Get it?
Okay, I've got a list of things we can do for our podcast.
Don't know Ross and Carrie?
You got some ideas?
Yeah, I think so.
Okay, you ready?
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, we could get ear candled.
No, that was one of our first episodes.
Oh, right. Okay, we could get hypnotherapy. No, that was one of our first episodes. Oh, right.
Okay, we could get hypnotherapy.
No, we went to like a school for it.
Oh, okay.
We could join the Mormons.
We got baptized.
Don't you remember?
Okay, well, what if we went to an occult meeting or cryotherapy or took a juice cleanse or
ate only Soylent for a month?
No, we did them.
Reiki?
You're a practitioner.
We could join Christian science or we could go to Pet Psychics
or do Astrology
or go to the Queen Mary
where they have all those ghost hunts.
Done them all.
That's my whole list.
Well, what else can we do?
I mean, this is Los Angeles.
Well, I guess we could do that one thing.
Oh.
The scary thing.
The one that everybody's asked us to do
since we started the show.
For like five years.
Am I being clear?
Yeah, let's do it.
Okay.
But if I die,
you have to tell my family
that I love them
and that they can hear the episode
on iTunes
or at MaximumFun.org.
I'll tell them.
Thanks, Ross.
Overheard.
Overheard.
A segment in which,
you know,
when you hear those funny things
And they burn a hole in you
Because you're keeping them inside
This is your chance to let them free
Like a Twizzler
Yeah
A Twizzler just burning a plastic hole in your colon
Ready to come out like a super nib
There's real peel and...
Still
Freaking Dave-o Now we always like to start with the
guests sure uh if you would lead the way uh yeah i mean so overheard the the craziest thing that i
overheard recently is a bride-to-be and she was saying i don't want to i i have a lot of requests
for my wedding one of them is that i don't want any of my bridesmaids, any of my bridal party to look better than me.
So I will actively try to make them look worse.
Sure.
So like.
Mud in their face.
Mud in their face.
Sending them muffins before their wedding.
Right.
Like a monthly chocolate subscription.
Getting maybe a subpar dress.
Yeah.
And like that blew me away to think that someone
would be so petty subversive and yeah wow yeah oh man what would uh yeah like uh you know send
them poison uh makeup send them a subway gift card yeah yeah that'll probably that'll probably do it man uh just like for only
a meatball sub or some kind of like paintball like just shoot paintballs at paintball lessons
yeah what a really what nice gift what would mess up your face like oh getting your eyebrows
removed yeah put a bunch of uh like nuts and bolts in a subway sub crunch yeah yeah yeah uh
yeah those are all the things yeah sign them up for a punching
a punching a punching a punching happening in their town yeah there's a punching going on
who set me up uh yeah oh uh give her some uh you know rogaine put on our face yeah
she has a beard does that work i don't i don't know does rogaine work
on both sexes and wherever yep that's why so many men that have uh suspiciously thick full
head of hair also have very hairy hands that's why they need to be so delicate when they're
putting it on the shelf. Yeah, spills.
Oh yeah, it'll just grow on the ground
like the peanut butter solution.
Or like if it's a rainy day
and they get streaks of hair down their face.
Lines, teardrops of hair.
Oh, gross.
Then you have to shave it really quickly when you get to work well yeah
yeah it works so well and so i don't know does it work well i guess not i don't know i don't know
that's the thing like i've uh every time that there's an article about like some celebrity
that has had like was balding and now isn't anymore, they never say exactly what it was. They're like,
we speculate it might have been
hair plugs.
Hair plugs are so expensive. I know, but
celebrities got the money.
They got the money, and they should. They got that Piven
money. Yeah, that Will Arnett
money.
But it's like,
it was like a guy from Vanity Fair
did it, and he said it's like $50,000 for one go around.
And you need a few rounds?
He says, like, generally that's the case.
So, yeah, like, at the end of it, it's probably like $150,000, $200,000 for, like, a reliable.
Right.
You know what I mean?
Like, I guess you could probably get cheaper, but it's like, why bother like why bother yeah i mean fancy wigs would be expensive too sure yeah that's true fancy wig
any kind of uh i don't know what else you can do i probably spend like 150 000 on shampoo so
yeah that's so it's like it's it would be worth it not to have hair yeah what what kind of treatment
do they have for that?
I guess you could just get your head waxed.
Waxed.
It's the only way to get rid of head hair.
As it's known.
Yeah.
Dave, do you have an overheard?
Mine is from television.
Yesterday was the Grammy Awards, and I was watching the news this morning.
The local news, and they had like, watching the news this morning, the local news.
And they had, like, they do news and, you know, weather, traffic.
Sometimes sports.
Not really so much in the morning.
They don't have a dedicated sports guy.
But they also do, they, like, have a few minutes where it's kind of like chat.
Oh, yeah.
Freestyle.
Yeah. Here's what's going on in entertainment like chat. Oh yeah. Freestyle. Yeah.
Here's what's going on in entertainment.
What do we all think of it?
Yeah.
Like filler time that is sort of flexible.
Yeah.
It's sort of, but it's, it's, it's there every hour or so.
Okay.
And they were talking about the Grammys last night and Lady Gaga did this tribute to David Bowie.
Yes.
Yes.
When she sang a bunch of songs.
And the anchor guy was like, well, if you know anything about Bowie,
what she did was so on the mark.
And then he couldn't quite remember the name of one of the songs.
And he said, it started off really cool with, you know,
Mission Control to Captain Tom. So close. cool with uh with uh you know mission controlled at captain tom
so close so just oh that's the uncanny valley of references walking so close to the sun
you got all the elements yeah pretty close like a crossword clue where they can't use the word
that you want to use.
Yeah.
Because that's the answer.
That's right.
There is something so beautiful about getting those news bloopers.
Like the Bernie sandwiches.
It's all we think about.
It's like so nice.
Yeah.
Every January 1st, it's just countdown to the news bloopers of the year video at the end.
Just waiting.
Those delicious news bloopers.
I don't even want to spoil by watching the monthly news bloopers of the year video at the end. Just waiting. I don't even want to
spoil by watching the
monthly news bloopers.
I want to save it all for the yearly.
Apartment building burned down on Thursday.
468 did.
Did die.
That's a big apartment.
That was a big fire.
Graham, do you have an Oberkirch?
I do.
I was at a...
Mission Control to Captain Tom.
Hello.
Come in.
Hello.
Ground zero.
They want to know what pants you wear.
Up there.
In the air.
there in the air.
Um,
uh,
so there's,
there's two,
uh, two young girls exiting a coffee shop with their mom.
And,
uh,
the,
well,
I guess the one girl had just come out of the bathroom and her sister was
asking,
uh,
ah,
you were gone so long.
And she said,
yeah,
I know.
And then she said,
did it stink in there?
And the girl went, yeah.
Welcome to the real world, kids.
Oh, boy.
It's just so funny that the sister was so concerned.
So concerned.
Like the time you had to stay in stinky purgatory.
Stay in the stink.
Stay in the stink.
That was my motto growing up.
A few weeks ago, I was hanging out with some friends.
And we went for lunch.
And then one of them had to, they offered me a ride home.
And one of them had to stop at a store.
And I realized I had to pee so badly.
But I wouldn't go in the store because I have a, like a street going where I don't pee anywhere but like my home or a restaurant.
Or a hotel.
This is your own.
Yeah, yeah.
I've never gone in a store.
I've never asked for, do you have a bathroom here?
Yeah.
I have.
It's always very uncomfortable because it's always usually the employee's bathroom.
Personal bathroom.
Yeah.
And so it's got, there's maybe a calendar in there telling what days are when everybody's working.
What days, who gets to go to the bathroom on these days.
But yeah, going in a store is always.
Yeah.
That's like, what kind of store are we doing?
A bigger store?
Like a. Or just like any shop. Yeah. Yeah. in a store is always uh yeah that's like what kind of store are we a bigger store like uh
i mean just like any shop yeah yeah like i just need to go really bad i haven't gone in a boutique i haven't gone in a supermarket yeah oh i've gone in a supermarket lots of times not me man
london drugs i'll go in a mall what what does they have like a nothing attached to a store. Yeah. Yeah. I feel all right going in like a giant, like a superstore, a big, you know.
Grocery outlet?
Yeah, something like that.
I'm fine with that.
Where there's not like a lock on the door that you need to get a key from the person.
I'm all right with that too.
I think that it's.
Yeah, I won't do that.
Oh, gas station's the only time I'll do that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh yeah, gas station.
Just, are you principled in that you don't
want to use their special no it's no it's uh um yeah it's gross it's gross yeah dave will also
won't go on an airplane he won't go on a train he won't go on a submarine i guess i go in a lot
of places but not a like if there's a place where you have to be I don't want to go Through that thing Of like I'm not a paying customer
But
Right
I have a paying bladder
But
Yeah
Um
Now we also have
Overheard sent in to us
From around the world
If you want to send one in to us
You can send it in to
SPY
At MaximumFun.org
This first one comes from
Jesse O
Oh
Congratulations on your
Gold medals
In the
Berlin Olympics
In 1936.
It is, this took place in 2015.
Still working my way through 2015.
Okay, but still, Jesse O is still alive.
While walking into Fort Tryon Park in New York City, we passed a suv limo with a bridal party near the entrance
a kid was walking out of the park with his family and upon seeing the limo exclaimed
look at that limo it's probably michael jackson
wow how old the kid do you think uh i don't know. Because at that point, Michael Jackson had been dead for six years.
Yeah.
Not only had Michael Jackson been dead for six years, I wouldn't in his last, I don't know, ten years of life, I wouldn't have associated limos with Michael Jackson.
Yeah, but a kid would.
Yeah, I guess so.
What would he have seen that he associates Michael Jackson with a limo?
Yeah.
What's the like?
His parents only
watch each true hollywood stories so it's just pictures of michael jackson getting in and out
of limos um yeah because it's i mean it's like the there's no like a pinnacle music video of him no
uh no no don't be so sure well maybe i mean i know he definitely beats up a car in one video
but it's not a limo yeah uh i don't know like he was just he would be a guy you would see
using it was sort of a just like a celebrity thing from especially in the 80s i think
yeah i think like it was if you saw a limousine, it was either somebody who was like, yeah, super-duper famous, really rich.
Or someone who realized it's cheaper than getting two taxis from the airport.
Like if you have six people in your party.
But now limousines, they kind of are everywhere, right?
When I was a kid, I think I saw a limousine once my whole growing up.
Yeah, I think, but there's like the SUV ones, the Hummer ones.
There's like party buses.
Yeah, that's the best part about the limo is it's licensed, right?
So you can drink in it.
I guess it is.
But there are, they did, there's a big, like, I don't know exactly what's going on here, but there's like, I think they're trying to change some rules because.
Oh, because of the party bus thing?
There have been people who've, you know, died.
Right.
Fallen out of this.
Well, a woman fell out a couple of weeks ago and then there's like underage drinking and.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I always thought I was.
Did you take, have you ever been in one?
Yeah.
In an underage drinking scenario
i took a party bus my brother's uh stag was we took a party bus from calgary up to bamf
yeah and it was it's a great party bus it but it's also i was like i could see how this uh
could just be gets out of hand yeah this could be tragic like they've cranked the music super loud
everybody's like falling over each other and there's just like some dude driving yeah he's
not separated from the action at all whenever white knuckling through the mic yeah please don't
throw we went to prom in one yeah that yeah we did of like a how many people group oh boy just me we holding it in me and my robot me and my real doll um no
no like i don't know 10 of us yeah uh and uh and there was obviously some underage drinking i'm
guessing i gotta be i didn't uh i didn't drink till i was of age uh which is 19 here it's 19
here but it was like uh yeah so i i assume people did, but I don't remember.
Yeah.
I got to migrate at prom.
Oh, no.
And everyone assumed I was drunk.
Yeah.
Because I was like, I got to go lie down on the couch.
They're like, classic Dave.
I've never had an alcohol.
Hitting the ecstasy too hard.
X as it was known back then.
This next one comes from Mark T.
in Colorado Springs.
I work in an office cubicle
and the woman in the next cubicle down from me
always has people over to chat about the news.
Today the topic was a plane
that caught fire in Las Vegas.
Luckily the plane was still on the runway
and all the passengers got out all right.
However, apparently the news pundits made a big deal about passengers stopping to grab their overhead luggage holding up
the evacuation while the plane was on fire when the co-worker uh my cube what cube neighbor was
talking to heard this she said those knuckleheads now in the days of fanny packs i would have been just fine you don't see a lot of people traveling on flights with fanny packs oh no and that's it
no yeah that's the easiest carry-on yeah that doesn't even count as one of your bags yeah
it's a wardrobe accessory i also like that you have people over to your cubicle to talk about
what's going on today it's like their own version
of the hot topics on the view yeah well uh david bowie had a song david bowie um uh
uh sergeant man to capran lega boy, you're in the sky.
Take your vitamins and wear your plastic hat.
This last overheard comes from Greg L.
Crossing paths
with someone
at Whole Foods,
I overheard this
snippet of conversation
from a guy
talking with his friends.
That was awkward.
That was an awkward
nine months
when my dog
and my girlfriend
had the same name.
I dated that lady
named Rover.
What do you think?
How did that nine months end breakup name change
dog death i mean could be all three nine months is a very funny term length yeah that's a very
specific term oh yeah well and then my girlfriend died in childbirth so then i named the baby after the dog little brother
yeah I don't know
and I mean like
I just
I guess that's possible
a lot of dogs
have funny
yeah human names
human names
I mean is it the human
that had the funny dog name
that would be the
the obvious
yeah
I feel like Tiffany
is something
dog
dog and a woman
could both be named
I just my nose blew out of my face from that one Like Tiffany is something. Dog and a woman come up being named.
I just, my nose blew out of my face from that one.
Well.
In addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you would like to call us, our phone number is 206-339-8328.
Like these people here.
Hey, Dave Graham, and especially the guest.
This is Andrew, the repairman from Kansas,
appliance repairman.
I suck at words.
Hey, that's super if you've got a moment.
I was just in the home of possibly the most passive-aggressive woman
I've ever met in my entire life.
Her husband had just gone home from work.
It was about 6 o'clock or so.
He walked in the door, and he said,
Hey, honey, do you have dinner?
And she said, Oh, no. Do you want me to run to the store and get some the door and he said, hey, honey, do you have dinner?
And she said, oh, no.
Do you want me to run to the store and get some dinner?
And he goes, yeah, that'd be great.
And she goes, oh, so you want me to do everything?
And the most genuine voice I've ever heard.
Her husband just grabbed his keys and walked back out the door.
Later, her kid was listening to his iPad, some TV show in the other room.
And it was astronomically loud.
I could hear it three rooms over.
And all of a sudden she yells from the other room, she goes,
Trevor? And he goes, yeah. And she says,
what are you doing? He goes, watching my iPad.
And she goes, well, it sounds great.
Oh, wow. Yeah, I like sarcastic mom. Yeah.
Probably an underused
character. Sarcastic mom. You probably an underused uh character sarcastic mom you don't you don't see
sarcastic dad i mean that's everywhere dad jokes are huge mom jokes though yeah yeah i like i like
the idea of a sarcastic mom you know that make crack and wise during labor
yeah you're telling me to push.
Could you be any more
crowning?
I don't know. He was the ultimate
of sarcasm. Chandler? Yeah.
Oh, I wish my mom
was Chandler.
Alright, here's your next
phone call.
Hello, Dave and Graham. This is
CJ calling in with a
kid saved the darndest thing
over. I was
using a public
restroom and a
father and his small toddler
came in and
father was helping his son
use the bathroom
and son says, I'm all done.
And the dad kind of confused. I'm all done and the dad
kinda confused
he asked
I thought you had to poop
and the boy says
well I thought I did too
but my butt's empty
sorry folks
my butt's empty
hey do your fun thing
do your fun thing
I'm sorry guys
my butt's empty do your fun thing do your fun thing i'm sorry guys yeah i can't my butt's a fun thing
uh yeah but that's i think when i was a kid i thought if you had to pee that it just stored
in your wiener well of course it does or you have a bag underneath yeah for the extra oh my scrotum's full of feet yeah i mean yeah it's right there it's visual yeah
yeah that's true um i uh that's something you're gonna have to at some point you're gonna have to
navigate having a young daughter yeah i didn't like doing that when i was a with my mother
and like she would bring me into a women's room, ladies room. Yeah.
But you're going to have to,
you know,
if you're,
if Margo needs to go to the bathroom
in the middle of a store,
you're going to have
to break your store policy.
Oh, that's true.
Yeah.
Well,
my policy.
You're going to teach her
to be like,
no.
Yeah.
Margo,
you got to buy something
if you want to poop in here.
Yeah.
I mean,
she can break it.
It's not my,
it's not her policy.
I know, but you know,
do you think that she'll just take after you
or do you think she'll just rebel against you?
So far, she has her mother's bathroom habits.
It doesn't make any sense.
Your final overheard of 2016.
Hello, Dave Graham, a new best friend.
This is Renee from Kansas, and I'm calling in to report an overheard.
I was walking through the break room at work,
and there was a middle-aged lady standing over another co-worker,
and she looked very upset and angry.
And as I was passing by, she was saying,
well, yeah, but what are you going to put on your oatmeal?
So thank you.
She's upset about it.
Yeah well it's you know blueberries are honey.
Right.
We've only got one of them. There's a cinnamon shortage.
Yeah.
I mean.
Would you ever make oatmeal?
Would I ever?
Do you ever?
No.
We call it steel cut oats in edmonton to be
fancy well that's real but it's the same shit it's the same i don't think it's to be fancy it's to be
like like a bad boy yeah oh yeah yeah the good shit yeah uh no i mean like i would you know
but if there was nothing else around at Atkins. I don't know.
Like that was the thing.
You'd eat oatmeal and it's supposed to like stick with you or something.
Yeah.
That was the big thing that they advertised is its stickiness.
My dad ate porridge every day.
Oh, yeah.
But I think it was just oatmeal.
I don't know what the difference is.
No, it's all the same, isn't it?
Is it all like derivatives?
It's just cream of wheat.
It's the same family.
It's the different grains that you're using.
See? Scientist. scientist yeah there you go but in my family we eat it with butter and syrup butter yeah i guess though butter on the oatmeal yeah yeah it's like a stack of pancakes but just in a bowl form i went
when i was with pancake i went to like camp when i was a kid and we had granola and then i was crazy
about granola for many yeah many moons
after that what do you put in what do you do with that yogurt no just uh yeah you put brown sugar in
with the while you're making it it's just like a delicious crunchy granola is it just kind of like
dry oatmeal oatmeal that you just bake and bake and bake over and over yeah I don't I don't really
remember how you make it but I remember going crazy for it when I was a kid.
And then I think I just did too much.
You know how you burn out on a food?
Oh, totally.
Yeah.
Yeah, I burn myself out on it.
Maybe it's time to go back.
Rediscover granola.
Yeah.
There's different kinds now.
Yeah, that's true.
Steel cut, robot cut.
Robot chopped oats.
Laser cut.
Oh, yeah. Precision cut oats. Flat top. cut robot cut robot chopped laser cut precision cut yeah flat top uh i'm thinking of different
haircuts now i just remember there was a barber is it in vancouver that had the ad that said we
do flat tops for black gentlemen well just it's still like i i don't think like could i get a
flat top yeah they do them. But I can't...
I can't do it.
I've got the thinnest hair.
Yeah, you would need a lot of gel, a lot of mousse.
I gotta get some plugs.
Yeah.
You know, I think Sean Prowliff told me a story about his...
Like, an old roommate of his or a friend from high school that got plugs
and then went and got his haircut at like magic cuts.
Got a $12 haircut. Bruin the hair plugs.
$50,000 down the tube
for an $8 haircut.
Yeah, you're saving
trying to save up for these plugs
by getting a horrible haircut.
But yeah, I think
that brings us to the end of this
episode.
Now, do you have anything but yeah I think that brings us to the end of this here episode okay now
do you have anything
that you'd like to plug
this is gonna come out
other than your hair
this will come out
on the 29th
yeah
oh yeah
leap year
oh yeah
29th
February 29th
yeah
leap years in general
is a good thing to plug
I mean yeah
like check things out
in Edmonton I'm sure check things out in Edmonton.
I'm sure some listeners are in Edmonton.
Sure.
Rapid Fire Theater.
Is there a big Rapid Fire Theater show coming up?
Yeah.
The Bonfire Festival is happening soon,
which is sort of Rapid Fire's internal festival.
We come up with a bunch of crazy new ideas for shows.
Oh, okay.
Some of our most experimental stuff is happening at
Bonfire this year.
What that will be
is still sort of uncertain.
Right.
People are still
sort of figuring that out.
I know a certain gentleman
will be bringing
his pet robot on stage.
How did you know?
How did you have
any idea?
Yeah.
So I'd say, yeah,
the Bonfire Festival
at the Citadel Theater.
Okay.
Bonfire Theater.
All right.
So, and if people want to follow your robot exploits, are you on Twitter?
Yeah, I'm on Twitter.
Corey Math, K-O-R-Y, M-A-T-H on Twitter.
Corey Math.
And every other social network.
It's the same one.
Okay.
Yeah.
Very smart to keep you uniform.
Keep it tight.
Yeah.
You got to keep the personal brand real tight.
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
I keep my brand super tight.
Yeah, I chose.
Yeah, thank you.
Do we have anything we got to plug?
Coming up in a couple of weeks, the Max Fun Drive.
Ooh, fun.
So do you like fun?
Do you like the maximum amount of it?
Yeah.
It'll be your chance to support the show, support the network.
Yeah.
Keep us above water. Yeah, man.
We're robots. We're not...
Oh, shit. I shouldn't have told you that.
Does not
come here.
We appreciate your patronage.
Cannot use our bathroom without
purchasing some bolts.
Do not drain your oil in our oil
toilet.
Oh, yeah.
It's still a toilet.
Well, yeah.
They call it an oil toilet because we call it
a pee toilet.
Oh, man.
If you like the show, head over to
MaximumFun.org. Check out the blog recap.
Pictures and videos relating to the content of this podcast.
Real Steel, maybe.
Oh, yeah.
The Hugh Jackman movie.
You've got to see it.
I can't wait.
Maybe that hair robot.
That Japanese hair robot.
Which is the German version of the show Mr. Robot.
Japanese hair robot Which is the German version of the show Mr. Robot
Um
Let's see
Yeah steel carrots
Yeah horchata
Oh yeah yeah
Those machines crazy
Oh yeah the juice
The juice
Juice douche
Um And if you like to show
tell your friends and
I'll come on back next
week for another episode
of stop podcasting
yourself
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