Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 417 - Brent Butt
Episode Date: March 14, 2016It's week 1 of MaxFunDrive 2016. Donate to the show at maximumfun.org/donate. This week, Brent Butt returns to talk about joining Facebook in this day and age, dead celebrities, and Fuller House....
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself.
Woo!
Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 417 of Stop Podcasting Yourself, a special Max Fun Drive episode.
Hi.
With me as always is somebody who is also part of the Max Fun Drive, Mr. Dave Shumka.
Hi.
And my name's Graham Clark.
Hi. Hi.
We'll tell you more about the Max Fun Drive.
As we go.
Yeah, absolutely.
We don't want you to tune out right away.
We've got to give you a little bit of juice.
Then hook you up.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because, you know, you would watch the PBS ones.
They would show you some of the Mr. Bean episode.
And then they'd come in, interrupt, and then you'd be like, duh.
So just consider this part of the show when Mr. Bean puts, I don't know, a cup of coffee on top of a car.
That's a great setup.
That's a traditional Rowan Atkinson, Mr. Bean setup.
Oh, that would be surprising if he forgot that damn thing up there.
But then he's going to
try to get it off.
And that voice you heard,
one of our all-time
favorite guests here
on the podcast.
Oh, you're good.
Very funny comedian.
Just recently,
I've heard through
the grapevine,
joined Facebook.
Mr. Brent Butt is here.
I can neither confirm
nor deny.
Hello, you guys.
Hello.
Thanks for having me back. Thanks for coming back. I was trying to think how many times I've been on the show. Hello, you guys. Hello. Thanks for having me back.
Thanks for coming back.
I was trying to think how many times I've been on the show.
Like, this is my appearance number.
That's how many fun drives that we have.
I'm your go-to fun drive guy?
Yeah.
That's a lot of, I like it.
Yeah.
I feel somehow there's pressure, but at the same time.
There's a couple reasons.
One.
It strokes me.
One.
Gives you the zets
One reason
You're great
People love you
Yeah
Thank you people
The next reason is
You don't say anything
When we just have to
Ask people for money
Yeah
I get it
I know the game
I don't want to be
A fly in the ointment
When it comes to
Getting some shackles in there.
Should we get to know us?
Yeah, let's do that.
All right.
Get to know us.
So, Brent.
Facebook.
Well, here's the thing, fellas.
You saw the social network.
Yeah, I didn't want to join Facebook right away.
I waited until 2016.
You waited until the social network came on TV, basic cable.
I'm thinking of getting cable, too.
I started sniffing around in the 80s.
I was like, don't jump into this with both feet.
You see how this goes.
But yeah, you know, I kind of missed the Facebook train when it came along, right?
But you're on Twitter and Instagram.
Yeah, so when Twitter came along, I was like, okay, I'm going to try this one out.
Right.
Because I had, I mean, this isn't technically my first time on Facebook because I did try it early on.
I didn't get it and I didn't like it.
And it was just a lot.
How little has that changed?
Yeah, very.
I'm just now more tolerant to things I don't like and don't get.
That's all.
There you go.
I'm just like, yeah, I'm fine with not understanding what I'm doing.
I'm fine with how uncomfortable this makes me, this Facebook.
Whereas before, I was literally on for 11 hours.
I created this account.
Right.
And then, but here's the, I don't know that I,
what do you delete your account or whatever?
Oh.
I just stopped going.
Okay.
So it may still exist out there.
But anyway, years passed.
I joined Twitter in 2009, fairly early adopter.
Sure.
I have a hell of a time on Twitter.
You have two Twitter accounts.
I do because.
That I know of. That I know of.
That you know of.
You don't know of, but the ones where I just like troll you all day.
Well, you shouldn't use your own picture for those.
Brent Butt Trolls Graham.
What a terrible username.
Butt Troll.
At Butt Troll.
I bet if we looked that up, there would be somebody.
Butt Troll.
I'll do it right now.
At butt troll.
But yeah, that took off for me.
That was good.
Yeah. I got like 130,000 followers or so on there now.
Not too shabby.
And I joined Instagram.
Instagram, which is owned by the Facebook people, right?
So in a way, I've dipped my toe into the Facebook via Instagram.
But so I thought, well, you know, there's a lot of people out there on Facebook,
and, you know, I've got to market my shows.
I'm no hump.
I've got to get the word out, right?
I'm no goddamn artist, so I've got to sell the shows.
You'll bark right before shows.
I've seen you do it.
Out there in the street.
Hey, you look like you could use a laugh.
You're right. I just lost my job. I've seen you do it. Out there in the street. Hey, you look like he could use a laugh. You're right.
I just lost my job.
Come on in here.
What did you do for a living?
And then just light
into 40 minutes.
No wonder they fired you.
Get out of here.
Knucklehead.
That's the voice
I use when I do stand-up.
Hey, how are you?
People adore it.
By the way, to interrupt, sorry, there is a butt troll.
There is a butt troll.
You had to know there was a butt troll.
What's the avatar?
It's a girl.
Her name's Naomi.
Oh, so it's not like just somebody, like a picture of a troll.
No, it's arse, as we say in Canada.
Just a girl who goes by the nickname butt troll from something that happened in high school.
Sadly, it's a name her parents have forced her to use.
It's such a tragic.
It's a family name.
Backstory to that is terrible.
Your father was a butt troll.
His father was a butt troll.
Your grandmother butt trolled be rolling over in her grave if her butt wasn't so trolling.
I have a guy who trolls me
kind of every now and then.
Really?
I've already mentioned this before.
He cracks me up.
Like, he'll just come on
and he'll just say something
really mean.
And then you don't hear from him again
for like, you know,
months will go by.
And then he'll just like,
he'll just come in,
you're a piece of garbage.
But it's usually like, you know, more profanity laden.
Yeah, yeah.
But the gist of it is, I'm a piece of garbage.
That's right.
He's a real butt troll.
That's the nuts and bolts of it.
And so, yeah, he is in essence a butt troll.
I assume it's he, you know.
Yeah, I don't think women do that.
I think that's sexist of you.
That I don't think women are monsters on the internet?
Yeah, that they're incapable of being.
Well, I don't think that it's something that I, maybe, because girls, young girls like teasing each other a lot.
Yeah, they're cyber bullies is what they are.
Yeah, I guess so.
It's a new era of teasing.
Sure.
Like, that's what I can't see a lot of guys doing
although they probably do but uh teen boys and stuff they like to uh beat a guy up yeah they
like the the touch and feel tactile kind of uh trolling you just can't where they just actually
take you under a bridge the new iphone does have that sort of like rumble touch to it, but it doesn't, it's not the same.
Yeah.
Like.
Rumble touch.
I think they like to get, you know, they like to.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Put a, put a, pull someone's t-shirt over their face and be like.
Oh God, they love that.
You know what I'm thinking of doing now is like hiring some young whiz bang to run my Facebook page for me.
Cause I don't really want.
hiring some young whiz bang to run my facebook page for me because i don't really want so i i have a lot of people who uh you know they they ask it you know to be friends with me on facebook
yeah and i'm like i don't know what that entails right right it seems like i don't want to open a
bowl can of worms here that's oh you mean like friends somebody who then yeah and then are they
like hey what's happening today are we going for coffee or something like that? I don't want that.
And so I've been reticent.
The most intimate friendships are Facebook friendships.
I think the word friend is wrong completely.
Far be it for me to get Zuckerberg to roll a clock back on this one.
These are not new concepts.
It's all new to me.
I asked for help today on doing a Google search via social media on
Twitter.
I ask because, you know, sometimes you Google something and then like, how do you do this
or whatever, you know?
Right.
And it'll come up, but it's then, so you're reading it, you get invested in this article
and then you realize it's like from 2007 and and all the software is completely irrelevant, right?
That's true.
That does happen.
I wanted to know about, can you do a Google search, but just say, just posts from the last couple of years.
Yeah.
I didn't know how to do that.
People are very helpful, though.
When you say, help Grampy out. Grampy needs your help, kids.
They're like, sure.
But the Facebook friend thing, because you could just have a page.
Yeah.
Well, see, this is, so I did that.
You can have two kinds of Facebook.
I did, but you have to open an account first, which I did.
I opened an account, and then I created.
You go down to the offices.
You show them your social insurance number.
My passport.
So I opened an account.
I had friends of mine.
I had their daughter come show me how to do all this.
It was terrific.
She came over to the house and was like, yeah, no, this is a laptop computer.
But it's on the table now.
Is that okay?
Is it still a laptop when it's not on top of that?
Do I have to sit on the table?
Explain this to me.
So she kind of walked me through it a little
bit and then, um, so I had to open the account
and then I created a page.
Yeah.
Right.
So it's facebook.com slash official Brent
Butt because there's so, it might be my old
one out there.
I couldn't get Brent Butt.
Right.
And then years, years, for years, somebody
ran a Brent Butt site or something.
Like a fan.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And we were, at first we were like, oh, you
know, we shouldn't let that happen.
And then I was like, he's doing everything
that I would do, only he's doing it really
well.
Like if I was doing shows, he was promoting
it and he had like 6,000 likes or whatever.
Oh, this is like the, this is the good side
of the trolling.
Yeah.
So this guy was, but then he just went away.
I don't know who it was.
If it was a guy or a girl.
That's probably this guy who keeps chiming in every couple of months.
He's mad he thought I fired him somehow.
That's right.
But anyway, yeah.
So I have a page and I have an account.
But everybody's just going to my account.
Nobody gives a tinker's darn about my page, right?
Nobody gives a rat's patoot about the page
so just getting people saying you know you have a friend request from all these people you don't
know and all these people you did know in the 80s and 90s that's the real that the the not knowing
people is to me is completely benign like can i get my Sugar Ray album back? It's all these people you knew from the 1991, you know?
Why were you borrowing it?
I was trying to think of something from the 90s.
That's all I could think of was Sugar Ray.
I think it was a good pull.
But yeah, that was...
So be my friend on Facebook.
All right.
You guys are on Facebook, obviously.
Yeah.
But are you actively on Facebook?
Because we have this podcast.
Right.
I get a lot of friend requests from people I don't know.
Right.
How do you deal with that?
You just ignore them?
I accept them.
I wait until it says you have one mutual friend, Dave Shumka, and then I accept.
Here's the weird thing to me now, because, you know,
Damon Schritter,
fellow funny man,
local comic,
Damon Schritter,
his thing came up
on my Facebook, right?
People you might know.
And then it said,
you guys have 37 mutual friends.
Well, I don't even have 37.
I just got on here.
Graham and I have like
700 mutual friends.
How can I have
37 mutual friends when I don't have 37 friends myself?
But you win someone, like I can always tell if it's like someone who's into the podcast
or like a local comic I haven't met yet because all of their friends are local comics that I have met.
Yeah, that's true.
You can kind of suss out the area of your life.
Where they're coming from.
Yeah.
Because sometimes I've gotten it, and the only common thing is, like, my brother.
And I'm like, well, how the hell does that do to them?
But then it's somebody that, like, we all went to high school together.
Yeah.
Well, I sussed that out pretty quick.
Someone you know.
Someone your family knows.
Must be somebody.
Someone you know Someone your family knows
Must be somebody
But it used to be
You would lose touch with people
And then maybe you'd see them
At a reunion
Probably not
And then that was fine
You just never heard
From them again
What you don't have
Is the advantage
Some people have
Is a lot of women
Change their last names
And then
Ah that's true
Very hard to find
And then no one can find them again.
Right, right.
From high school.
There you go.
Have you thought of changing your last name?
So answer me this, though.
Just in terms of Facebook etiquette,
if somebody I've never met says,
hey, let's be, you know, it says friend request,
confirm or decline, I think it says,
or delete or something.
It's a very kind of negative.
Yeah.
It's like... So if I say, you know, because now I have like, there's been like 500 or 600 friend requests.
That's nice.
And, you know, I don't want to toot my own book, but I don't toot my own page.
But the vast majority of them are people I don't know.
Yeah.
So now it just keeps getting, because I'm not touching it.
I'm not deleting anybody or anything.
So now it's just become this cumbersome document.
Yeah, I have that.
It's homework.
Now, what if I delete these people?
Is that like a real slap in the face?
Or is that, are they even aware that I'm declining?
A lot of times they won't know.
I don't know why it bothers me.
Because in real life, it wouldn't bother me.
Like if a stranger said to me in a shopping center,
hey, can I be your friend?
I'd say, yeah, I don't think so.
I would probably humor them.
This is awkward.
You see me and them eating ice cream together.
You'd hang out for a week.
You'd really let them down slowly.
Yeah.
Nope.
Facebook should have, like,
customizable, like,
Brent Budd-isms.
Yeah, yeah.
Like, do you accept them
or do you want them to hit the bricks?
Because you don't give a tinker's darn.
Take it on the heel and toe.
Yeah, I, uh, because there's a bunch that I don't know what, Here's darn. Take it on the heel and toe. Yeah.
I, uh, uh, cause there's a bunch that I don't know what I'm the same.
I don't know what.
It just makes me not post anything on Facebook anymore.
Cause like, I don't know who these people are.
Here's my question.
Um, should I just, because I, you know, I didn't plan on posting a bunch of stuff on Facebook.
I'm not gonna spend a lot of Facebook time, but I do want to get word out of him doing a
tour of shows or whatever.
You say yes there and just make my account kind
of like my page.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's cause that's the way I'm leaning.
And now you guys have.
Yeah.
I think that's cause yeah.
Like yeah.
For the most part, that's, I just use it to,
for promo of shows and stuff.
I don't like. It also seems very insidious.
It's kind of like they keep wanting to.
And the thing I like about Facebook is the guys that they're doing you a favor.
This is going to make your life easier if you give us all your contact info.
Yeah, right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They put it under the umbrella of this is really going to help you.
Just give us your PIN number, and it's going to save you putting forward.
Tell us where you went to high school.
It's fine.
It's going to make your day a lot easier.
What?
My day's free.
Also, you want to get an email every time anything happens on Facebook?
Yeah.
That's true, right?
You don't have to go around asking people to invite you to all their birthday parties.
We'll take care of that.
This is a service we provide for free.
But, yeah, it's that weird kind of putting a
positive spin on just rooting through your sock
drawer, you know, just rummage through your
stuff, all your personal belongings.
And it's going to take a lot of weight off you.
How's that?
You don't have to do it.
I'm totally afraid.
Like I go on Facebook, but I go a lot less than
I did when it started.
Cause I'm afraid of just like accidentally inviting everyone to something.
Oh, yeah.
Like, oh, I invited you to this group.
Yeah, that's where I'm at now because it's all fresh and new to me.
I imagine if I'd been on it 14 years like you, Dave, I'd have this ironed out by then.
I have my newbiness to lean back on.
But yeah, I don't know how I'm afraid to look at anything or touch anything.
I mean, any like button I hit is going to open a whole new can of worms.
And then you like a thing and then how do you really feel about it?
Like, I don't, I haven't thought a lot about how much I like hoodies.
Yeah.
And then, and then.
Dave, you like them a little bit.
I own one.
Yeah.
So a little bit. And then they hammer you you like them a little bit. I own one. Yeah. So a little bit.
And then they hammer you with ads, right?
Like if you say, I love, I like a ukulele song.
And it's all ukulele concerts.
Hubstub is on you.
Monsters of ukulele.
Monsters of ukulele.
When I got engaged, it takes that information and it only gives you like wedding ads.
It takes what information?
When you post it like, oh, Dave takes what information? Oh, it takes.
When you post it like, oh, Dave got engaged to Abby and then it.
Yes.
And then when you say you get married, that goes away.
I don't know why that's creepy to me.
Like if you, if you sit down and examine the practicality of it, it's, I don't know, there's no real, it's just, there's a creepiness to it that I'm uncomfortable with.
Yeah.
Well, welcome.
Yeah.
That I'm uncomfortable with.
Yeah.
Well, welcome.
Yeah.
But the next generations will grow up with this sort of being like this unspoken thing of like, oh yeah, of course.
Of course this website knows everything about me.
Yeah.
It's not creepy at all.
Yeah.
They think we're like weirdos for like, well, why wouldn't you?
Yeah. Why do you care that somebody has your banking documents?
Why are you giving so many people your banking documents? Why are you giving so many people your
banking documents?
I think we are on the wrong site.
That's what I think is happening.
I won't do online banking.
They're going to get all my numbers.
They haven't even asked me
to upload a picture yet.
You're on Facebook. This is not
Facebook. Is there a
Facebook?
They just keep asking we we promise you once you give us your account number this is gonna be smooth your life is gonna be so
much easier nobody's gonna actually come and rough you up and take your money you're just gonna wake
up your money will be there it's gonna be totally easy your money won't be there. It's going to be totally easy peasy. Won't be pistol whipped.
Yeah, exactly.
Won't have to pay taxes anymore.
Yeah.
You're looking at the, you're not looking at the bright side of this.
Get to lay down in a park all night, all day long.
Yeah, the, yeah, I guess, I don't know.
I haven't, like, I haven't thought about it, but I guess we're just all now in it.
We're all in it now.
We can't pull the plug on it.
It's all.
Yeah.
Everything you've ever Googled is going to come back to haunt you.
Hang on, what?
This is alarming news.
Well, you just tweet stuff, getting people to Google things for you.
That's right.
I've become a real Nero Wolf of the internet.
What?
I just sit back in my house.
Tell me who that is.
Nero Wolf?
You don't know who Nero Wolf is?
And what he tweets about.
Nero Wolf is one of the great detectives of literature.
I mean, he's no, he's, you know, you got Poirot and Miss Marple.
Yeah.
And then Nero Wolf would probably be maybe third or fourth.
Sherlock?
What about Sherlock?
Yeah, well, Sherlock, yeah.
Yeah, no shit.
The number one in them all.
No shit, Nero Wolf.
You don't hear that a lot. No wolf shit, Nero Wolf. You don't hear that a lot.
No wolf shit, Nero Wolf.
Now, he was like a super smart detective, but he was a big, fat, lazy guy.
And he didn't, he was kind of a recluse.
Are you thinking of Dick Wolf, the creator of Law and Order?
Yes.
I get mixed up sometimes.
And he had, you know,
guys who would kind of do the legwork for him.
So he would give them assignments,
right?
Like you track down that lady and find out,
you know,
if she likes horse racing or whatever the hell
that particular mystery was about.
Was that a Dick Francis?
He had a guy,
so he had like a T,
he had one like real right-hand man guy in that
and they employed a bunch of other people.
Right.
And they would go do his legwork.
So he would, he would be kind of like the puppet master in a way.
He would just be tweeting away.
And he was, he may predate Twitter.
Google stuff for me.
Really?
Nero Wolf.
Hmm.
Now.
30s maybe.
Yeah.
You, you've created TV shows, you've written scripts, plenty of them, movies.
Plenty of them Movies
When you create a character name
What
How do you
Like
Anytime I've gone to write something
I've been like
Oh what do I call this person
I don't know
Jessica
Jessica
The man
And then the whole script
Is called the man named Jessica
Yeah
Now you got a whole story
It's a kind of a
Boy named Sue type of a rip
But it's got a fresh new angle.
I feel like that always stops me in my tracks.
I'm like, I've got to live with this person's name for the rest of this story.
How do you think the creator of Nero Wolf felt?
I mean, Nero Wolf's a pretty.
That's a damn good name.
For me, I used to, because I kind of predate script writing software, right?
Like the first feature film script that I wrote that was never produced, of course, I wrote with Joel Wamsley, our good friend Joel Wamsley.
He and I wrote a script called Remember Me about a former child star.
And it was, I just came across because we moved recently.
And so I came across a copy of the old script
and I wrote it on a typewriter and you can see
where, uh, like it's actual cop cut and paste,
you know, where you would, the first half of the
page is good, but you made a mistake at the
bottom.
So you don't want to retype the whole thing.
And so you would just, you, that's where the
term cut and paste comes from is cause that's
how old script writers used to do it.
Right.
Like you would just like with a glue stick kind of thing?
Yeah, I would use tape or whatever is handy, right?
Wow.
Because you're going to photocopy it later
and then you can see the edge.
Mimeograph.
Mimeograph it.
So in those days, to answer your question,
I would just choose short character names.
Ed.
Right?
Ed.
Ann.
Yeah. Because you're going to be typing his names a lot but now you could you know you know you can really just like go crazy with
emmanuel schumacher yeah finally you can have some good ukrainian and polish names yeah in literature
um yeah because like you that is a good question, though.
Do you just, like, do you think of a name?
Because sometimes you'll be watching a movie and you'll be like, they named this guy John Wick.
I can't remember what movie that's from.
Oh, Speed.
from speed.
Um, I, I sit down with, uh, I, I don't know if you know this about me.
I'm big into graph paper.
I like to doodle.
I'm a doodler.
I saw you did a, a Spider-Man doodle.
I did.
I was happy how that turned out.
Cause I hadn't drawn like a superhero in a while.
That looked good man.
Watching the Oscars.
I started sketching.
I was like, oh, this is coming together.
Nice.
So I posted it all proudly, you know?
Um, but yeah, I, I always have like tons of graph paper around.
Yeah.
This is like the white paper with the blue like thing.
Yeah, it's graph paper.
People know.
I don't know.
Do they?
I don't.
He was just talking about cutting and pasting on a typewriter.
This is.
Paper you're talking about.
People who listen to this show i guess there's
a lot of graphic designers and like mathematician people who did like geometry stuff yeah that's why
i have it around for all my arithmetic that i like to do during the day um so anyway uh i go through
i just you know i just start writing names down. Just like fun names or just names?
No, I don't give it the, I don't put the, that
kind of, you know, I don't force them to be fun
or anything, just kind of like names that sound
good.
What was your name on Corner Gas again?
Well, see with Corner Gas, I gave myself a
little bit of a, there was a bit of a theme.
All the characters' last names were town names
in Saskatchewan. Oh. So then I' last names were town names in Saskatchewan.
Oh.
So then I just went through a map of Saskatchewan.
Oh, I didn't know that.
That sounded like people's last names.
Because a lot of them are.
They're named after some local.
But your first name was?
Brent.
I went with a very, you know, getting my name out there.
You and Tony Danza.
Exactly.
I go to the Tony Danza school of Tony School Danza. That and Tony Danza. Exactly. I go to the Tony school, the Tony Danza school
of, uh, Tony School Danza.
That's his full name.
Oh, that's a hard name for him.
For me, it worked out well because, uh, my
middle name is Leroy and there's a town named
Leroy, Saskatchewan.
So for me, it was, uh, I gave our family name
was Leroy, but everybody else, you know,
Dollard and Yarboe and Burroughs and Quinton and Pelly, those are all towns in Saskatchewan.
Huh?
That's see that.
Fun trivia.
But that is fun.
That is fun trivia.
And it's like, you know, you didn't sit there trying to think of fun names.
Now I'm jumping on you with the fun thing.
You're right.
I came down on your heart, jumped on you with both feet over the fun name thing.
Turns out that is how I do it.
Yeah.
Well, when you were saying that, I remembered, oh, yeah, I named a real life person.
Yeah, that's true.
You saddled a real person with a name.
But I don't know if we ever, like, yeah.
You don't have to type it on typewriter.
That rolls off the tongue well, though, right?
Like Margot Schumacher.
Like, that's the thing.
You just roll it off a bit.
Yeah.
Like, when you're coming up with the characters.
Yeah.
Right?
And some of them will sound good.
Some of them will sound fakey and you know it.
Have you ever met a person in real life whose name doesn't sound right?
Yeah.
All the time.
And I tell them to their face.
Nope.
You're no Steve, I'll say.
You poor misnamed best.
Yeah.
You're an Edward if I ever saw one
I can't remember
like I don't
I'm like
going back through
everyone I knew
in school
and I'm like
no yeah
that was their name
it all worked
my favorite name
of anybody
I went to school with
and I don't know
why it stuck with me
so well
I remember thinking
as a little kid
this guy's got
a great name
and he was kind of
he was kind of seemed like a he, he was like a little outlaw.
He's old bad boy.
You know, he was always in trouble with his teachers and stuff.
And his name was Bart Ratch.
Oh, wow.
Not a great name.
Yeah.
Bart Ratch.
And he was like, you know, he caused trouble and he was kind of a, you know, little outlaw.
I only knew him for like two or three years and then he moved down, but he stuck with me.
Bart Ratch.
Look him up on Facebook.
Yeah, it's a thing.
Bart Ratch.
Well, now, are you allowed to.
Graham, what was the best name of anyone you went to school with?
Give me a moment.
Yeah, no, I can't think of a good one either.
Go finish your question.
Oh, you know what?
Also another great, here's another great name.
Farron Huckstead. Oh, that is a good. That's, here's another great name, Farron Huckstead.
Oh, that is a good.
That's a good handle.
That's the guy I went to school with.
There was a.
Am I going to get in legal trouble for spouting names?
Well, that's what I was just going to ask.
There are humans walking the planet.
You should be able to say their name.
I was like, are you allowed to name a character
after a real name?
Oh, here's one.
Amir Modamidi.
Get out of here.
That's an awesome name.
Amir Modamidi.
For a fun one
Yeah
Fuad Seshwani
Was pretty good
And Ricky Tadla
Ricky Tadla was really good
Oh
Kimo Ned
Oh yeah
That's fun
These make Bart Ratch
Seem like a pile of puke
But can you name
A character
After a name
That you actually
Oh yeah
You just have to put a thing
At the end of the credits
That says It's all fictional No it's kind of weird You just have to put a thing at the end of the credit.
It's all fictional.
No, it's kind of weird, you know, because here's the thing that I don't get.
I've had this out with my lawyer a couple of times. Oh, boy.
Oh, boy.
Sorry you got me going on this, but buckle up.
No, so, you know, the little thing, all characters in this thing are fictitious.
They put that thing up.
That's supposed to cover your ass, right?
No, no, it doesn't.
You have to go through this whole, there's
an errors and omissions process.
The lawyers go through, oh, well, there's a
Mary Williams, actually.
It's actually the more common the name, the
better you are.
Like they do if there's thousands of people.
So like if you name somebody John Smith,
you're pretty covered.
But if you get into your.
That's what went in my Pocahontas script.
That's what I went with.
Your Bart Ratch or your Farron Huckstead, your actual, you know, specific kind of names.
Yeah, they always come back.
They're leery.
They're cautious, the lawyers.
Eh, you don't want to do that.
Can you change that?
Because there's a real person.
I looked up, there's somebody on Facebook.
Name that.
Wasn't there.
Well, what about the disclaimer where it says at the end, why are we putting that on there?
And then, but do they, they can sue you if they
don't like the way it turned out?
You know, lawyers are, that's their whole job
is to make sure you're covered in eventuality.
Yeah.
And yeah, that's the argument I've had a few
times.
It's like, well, I've made the character, he's a
perfectly decent human being.
Yeah.
He's not like a murderer or something.
No, can't do it.
Wasn't there a guy, a hockey player, Tony Twist?
He sued...
He sued that guy who wrote that song about a dance.
I can't remember what it was called.
He sued Todd McFarlane for making a character named Antonio Twistarelli or something.
And won!
But what was the suit?
Like, you owe me a chunk of this thing?
I guess so.
One of the baseballs you bid on?
Yeah, the whole of the law is...
I mean, you can't wrap your head around it, right?
And they don't want you to.
They don't want you to be able to understand the ins and outs.
They want you to hire lawyers.
So they keep with the Latin.
They come at you with the Latin.
They want to keep you feeling like a dummy.
Yeah.
Have you considered naming any characters Latin names?
Just so the lawyers know where you're coming from.
You know a little bit more.ate my lawyers though my latin names i still can't wrap my head around what like
unless it became like if your name was hannibal lecter and then they made silence of the lambs
and you're like guys this is really cramping my style with the ladies.
Like, this is really affecting everything in my life.
Then I could see it better, you know, if it's just like.
Well, there was a Seinfeld where she's dating a guy named Joel Rifkin who shares his name with a mass murderer.
And then she, in the episode, she suggests he change it to OJ.
That was pre-OJ.
Oh, she also wanted Dion.
As soon as I'm done with Facebook, I'm going to start watching Seinfeld.
I'd like to be on the bottom curl of the cultural wave, you know.
The bottom curl.
I've never heard that.
Of the cultural wave.
I don't think it makes sense.
That's why you've never heard of it before. There's the cutting edge and the bottom curl. I've never heard that. Of the cultural sway. I don't think it makes sense. There's a cutting edge and the bottom curl.
I like to put metaphors in a blender, actually.
I don't just mix a couple.
I throw a dozen metaphors into.
Oh, man.
That could be an app.
Yeah, the metaphor mixer.
Yeah.
I mean, I guess.
That would be great.
Like, you just pick kind of a mood that you're in, and it'll give you. Yeah the metaphor mixer Yeah I mean I guess That would be great Like
You just pick
Kind of a mood
That you're in
And it'll give you
I gotta call my lawyer
Before he hears this podcast
And gets all snippy
About me
Yeah
Before he starts
Chasing a rabbit
Down a
Fluver hole
Well we're not
Fluver
We're not making up words
That's a
Whole different app
Oh Dave
You're dumb different app Oh Dave you're dumb
Uh yeah
Oh Dave you're a few carats short
Of a rabbit down a river
There you go
There it is
Um
Uh
Yeah that's it
So when do we start recording
This is it
I gotta go
This is it
This is the whole thing
And this is the whole thing.
And this is the one that we're asking people to donate money to.
Yeah.
You haven't thought this through at all.
Oh boy.
Oh boy.
Oh man.
I cracked Nancy up the other day around the
house.
I don't know what it was.
Somebody said something on TV.
I was kind of like puttering.
I was cleaning up in the kitchen kind of, and
she was watching TV and somebody said something and I just went, ew, boy.
Totally cracked her up.
Sometimes stuff just hits you like, and there's no response.
Yeah.
Or suitable.
It just comes out of you like involuntarily.
Yeah, it's Fred Flintstone, right?
Is that where that?
Ew, boy.
This morning I cracked up.
I was laughing in my dad's face.
We played tennis, and then we had breakfast this morning together.
And we were talking about the Oscars, and I asked him if he had seen any of the movies.
And he was like, well, I saw The Bridge of Spies, and I saw The Martian.
And I tried to go to Trumbo, but it was sold out, and I laughed so hard.
Wow.
No, I couldn't get into Trumbo.
One for Trumbo, please.
Sorry, sir.
Sorry.
Sorry.
We're already violating any number of fire regulations, too.
Yeah.
It's cramped.
I just so watched, we watched Trumbo the other night.
You got in?
We VOD'd it.
Oh, okay. Yeah. I know people. I know some people downbo the other night. You got in? We VOD'd it. Oh, okay.
Yeah.
I know people.
I know some people down at the Shaw company, and I was able to watch it on my television.
When you accidentally hit the on-demand button.
Yeah.
Is it good, the Trumbo?
I enjoyed it.
The first 10 minutes I thought was kind of.
How much do they spend on how he names his characters?
It makes you feel like useless as a writer, though.
Like as a guy who, in theory, writes scripts.
This guy just hammered nonstop, right?
There's no situation that he was in where he couldn't pound out a screenplay.
And me, I'm like, oh, I don't know.
These socks are too itchy.
I don't think I'm going to be able to write today, you know?
Take the rest of the day off.
Yeah.
Anything that comes down the pike, it's all windy out there.
I can't concentrate.
This guy was literally writing in the bathtub.
Yeah, that's the only thing I know about him.
Because that was the clip they showed on the Oscar.
I don't know why that wasn't the movie poster.
Yeah. It's a great image. It was't know why that wasn't the movie poster. Yeah.
It's a great image.
It was originally called Trumbo Typey Tubby.
And then they were like, no, it's too long.
Trumbo the Tub Typer.
Was it Dalton Trumbo?
Yes.
That's a terrific name.
Yeah.
It should be more adult.
What did he write that is famous?
All of the Timothy Dalton, James Bond movies.
That's not true.
He wrote a couple at least.
I can't remember how many, but a couple at least.
Movies that won an Academy Award while he was blacklisted.
So he couldn't get the award.
He wrote Roman Holiday.
Oh, wow.
Okay.
Roman Hammerlick.
He wrote Roman Hammerllich, a letter telling him
he was a big fan.
So he, he, I was going to say posthumously, but
that's not the right word.
He was still alive.
After Blacklist was over, he was, he got some,
you know, and he wrote Spartacus.
Oh, right.
Spartacus was kind of the one that, because,
because Kirk Douglas was such a scrappy stand-up guy,
he, you know, when the congressional people, McCarthy's goons, started poking him in the chest,
telling him he can't hire certain writers, that doesn't fly with a guy like Kirk Douglas, right?
Yeah, yeah.
So he was like, put your name on it, right?
He was like, and the German director, Otto Preminger, those are the two guys that kind of
stood up and said, no, you know, I don't care.
I don't care if we get blacklisted forever.
We're going to put, you know, Kurt Douglas was a
huge star.
Otto Preminger is a good name too.
Real good.
German names don't count though.
They're all terrific.
Schlessel, Hooven, Flavin.
But, uh, wow.
Uh, just like, uh, I don't know, man.
See Trumbo.
Yeah, I guess I got to see Trumbo.
But here's the thing.
I was just looking at that one picture.
I was going to say, the first 10 minutes or so, it doesn't feel like a good feature film.
Right.
It feels like kind of a bad made for TV.
It just doesn't work the first time.
Then it gets good.
Then it gets into it.
And it almost felt like,
because who directed it?
J.J. Abrams?
Otto Preminger?
J.J. Abrams.
J.J. Abrams.
That's why there was so much lens flare.
Jay Roach.
Jay Roach directed it.
So it almost felt to me like,
you know,
if I haven't done a standup set in a while,
the first five minutes,
a little rusty,
a little rippy,
and then you get into it.
Yeah.
It's almost felt like he shot the movie
chronologically
the first ten minutes
were a little
clunky camera positions
and stuff
and then it got
you could see
his hand
it's just him
eating chips
not on me
over there
not me
oh yeah
you're the worst
camera guy
in Hollywood
you should be
black with this
editor
you should be black withow. And editor.
You should be Black Widow.
But yeah, it gets good.
I only saw the only Oscar things that I saw were the Big Short.
I saw the Big Short.
Mad Max.
Mad Max, I saw.
I did not see Mad Max.
I think Big Short's the only one I saw. Did you see Mars Man? mars man no i didn't see mars man i can't imagine marzipan delicious entry of the year
um no i can't uh wrap my head around a movie where it's a guy uh like like like where you're
just watching somebody suffer. He doesn't.
He's got a great attitude.
Yeah, yeah, that's true.
You know, from the trailers, I can tell that he's into it.
I'm telling you, he's into it throughout.
He grows potatoes.
It's like, what is the one?
Castaway.
That one, it was really hard to watch.
It's more uplifting than Castaway, I guess.
Like, it's not as depressing as Cast Away.
He doesn't take out his teeth with an ice skate.
And then also, The Revenant was another one that I'm like, I can't, I can't, I can't watch that.
For me, I, there's something about Leonardo DiCaprio now that is, I don't know, I find off-putting.
If he's in a movie, count me out.
Really?
That's kind of where I'm getting.
I was that way forever with Tom Cruise.
If Tom Cruise is in a movie, I just can't enjoy it.
Sorry, Hollywood.
Yeah, somehow I turned around on it in the last couple of years
because he was in a couple of things I read about.
It was weird that Leonardo DiCaprio went.
I sounded drunk there. Leonardo DiCaprio went sounded drunk there.
He went.
It was like a switch flipped and he went
from like a teenager to
I'm playing J.
Edgar Hoover.
Yeah, there was a
buffer in there.
Does he play J.
Edgar in J.
Edgar?
Yeah. Yes. Yes. And he play J. Edgar in J. Edgar? Yeah.
Yes, he does.
And he also played.
But to be fair, he plays the young J. Edgar as well as the old J. Edgar.
He doesn't just dive right into, I'm a 70-year-old FBI guy.
Dressed as a lady.
Was that, did anybody see that movie?
Is that all part of it?
I saw J. Edgar.
Is that what it's called?
Yeah.
It's called J. Edgar.
Yeah, I saw it.
Does wearing ladies' clothes, does that come into it at all?
Or is that?
I can't even remember now.
If it does, it's a small part of it.
I feel like it's all that Lynn.
Go ahead.
The thing I couldn't get past was the makeup was so,
you can't get past that there's a guy wearing a bunch of makeup. Oh, right. It's like you can't get past it.
There's a guy wearing a bunch of makeup.
Oh, right.
It's like a big old latex thing. And he was probably, you know, he was like, I'm not going to sit in a chair for nine hours a day.
Let's just build a mask.
I'm really projecting a certain attitude on Leonardo DiCaprio that I don't know that he has, but I would not be surprised if he had the, I'm not sitting here for very long, make my life easier attitude.
I decided I'm not going to win an Oscar from this, so just pick up the pace.
He's growing a beard underneath the makeup.
And he won't.
He's like, Cesar Romero, he won't take it off.
No, just deal with it.
Put white in it.
Yeah, he's just got beige over the beard.
Oh, the horrifying makeup job.
I do not understand HD technology at all.
Oh, man.
Now, before we find out what's going on with you Dave Let's make one of these
Max Fun pledges
Yeah let's make a pledge
Let's make a pledge for you to make a pledge
We should have saved the Facebook thing
For what's going on with me
That's my whole thing that's all I got
Yeah that was it
Oh so that was my what's going on with you
Yeah doy oy oy
That'd be a terrible character.
Doi-oi-oi?
That's so fake.
Stop podcasting yourself.
We are a member of the Maximum Fun Network.
Proud member.
Well, yeah.
Loud and proud.
Graham, I mean, Brent is loudly pouring a drink.
Really getting some good foley on this.
Maximum Fun is a listener-supported network.
Proud to be a listener-supported network.
Damn right.
This is all about pride.
Yeah.
And this is the Max Fun Drive.
Two weeks where we bring you the best guests.
The most fun.
In surround sound.
Who's eating a cheesy and then it's a time
where we try to get you
to donate.
If you're a fan of the show,
if you love the show,
it's a time to consider
pulling out the old pocketbook,
writing up a check
to the Maximum Fun Network.
There's great thank you gifts.
It's the best time of year.
If you've ever thought
about becoming a donor, this is the time to do it. We's great thank you gifts. It's the best time of year. If you've ever thought about becoming a donor,
this is the time to do it.
We've got not only the great gifts,
we've also got challenge donors
so that if you donate, they'll match a donation.
And this keeps all the stuff free
so we don't have to charge for episodes
and stuff like that.
Now, we're not the biggest podcast.
We don't have the most listeners
check your numbers when squarespace comes a call and they're like we're not gonna give you
comedy bang bang yeah well of course because you know we're we're no comedy bang bang i mean i
think we're better but well you heard it you heard it here this is what you do on sweeps you generate
uh controversy i i honestly like look jack benny and fred allen you guys exactly
um i think we're like i think this is the best show yeah i'm sorry um now here's what you can do to keep the show going you can donate at whatever level you can
afford anything is fantastic but the the kind of you know five dollars a month that's 60 bucks for
the whole year yeah and then you're getting the things you're getting these gifts what do you
spend on beer or coffee in a year do you you get as much enjoyment out of those things?
Well, don't put us against beer.
I know.
I meant, sorry, coffee.
Yeah, yeah, coffee, coffee, sure.
You know, $5 for, you know, a fascinating coffee.
That'd be a good coffee shop name, Fascinating Coffee.
I'll have mine to stay.
Some people spend that every day on coffee oh sure so it's and if you're that rich then do we need to ask twice you you've got money
to spare if you're buying five dollar coffee every day that's a lot of coffee and that's a lot of
money do you think people are just buying $1 coffees, five of them?
I don't know. I think people are making coffee at home.
That's what I'm thinking in general.
And then if they meet a friend,
then we'll go for a coffee. No, you're wrong
about that. You think every day? People
grab coffee on the way to work.
So expensive. Guys, there's
a better way. But it's my little treat
to myself. Not everybody's in
Canadian show business, Graham.
Some people
make upwards of $30,000
a year.
Well, now
we're talking crazy numbers.
Yeah, so all you have to do
to donate, it's very easy. You just go
to MaximumFun.org, you click
on Donate, select the membership level
that is right for you.
And you'll provide
your credit card number,
some basic information,
your high school,
your mother's maiden name.
Yeah, your bank.
Your bank.
Your pet's,
first pet's name.
And then your donation
will automatically
process each month.
You don't even have
to think about it again.
You do it one time,
you feel great,
and then we'll see you next year.
And there are, we'll get to the gifts and everything if you pledge,
but there are gifts at every donation level.
But even the lowest donation level, $5 a month,
you get a bunch of bonus episodes.
We did a bonus episode this year.
We did three last year.
You get all of our bonus episodes from back to 2011, I think.
Yeah.
And every other Maximum Fun Show's bonus episodes.
Donate now.
Now.
Don't wait for us to do the longer ad of this later.
Yeah.
Donate now, and then feel good about it.
Man, I think this show's the best show.
Oh, man.
Dave, what's going on with you? Well well did we talk about trumbo yet uh yeah no we briefly mentioned trumbo but if you want to get
back into it no he types in the bathtub we uh i was watching the oscars uh we we taped these shows
a week and a half before we put them out a A little behind the curtain. And I was looking at the, they had the list of
all the people who died in the past year.
Sure.
And they forgot to mention Abe Vigoda.
Yeah, which was weird, right?
I guess so.
He was in The Godfather.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think the thing, here's what, and I'm a big fan of Abe Vigoda.
I think he was, if you're primarily known for something else, but you know, you were in a movie or two, but you're primarily, because he was TV guy.
He was fish.
He was fish.
And he was iconically a TV guy.
That might, they might turn their nose up at you.
Is that the thing? They might, that might disqualify you nose up at you that might
disqualify you
yeah
wait for the Emmys
yeah
because I was thinking
the other morning
I was like
when somebody like
David Letterman
passes away
he hosted the Oscars
once
and he's been in
a couple of movies
with him
so will he get a
I wonder
I think it would be
very weird if he didn't but I could also see when Johnny Carson died did he get a? I wonder. I think it would be very weird if he didn't, but I could also see.
Because when Johnny Carson died, did he get the Oscar treatment?
He hosted multiple times, though.
So I could see where they went.
Because Carson hosted a number of times.
Yeah.
What about someone like Oprah, who's been in a handful of movies?
Yeah, but she's been in good enough movies.
What they do is they go and they ask her whatever she wants.
They say, Oprah, God forbid, if you ever do that, which is highly unlikely, would you
want to be in it?
And whatever Oprah says, they do.
She assumes that they're asking about her being on the cover of O Magazine.
Yes, even after I die.
What do you think her, uh,
is this a known thing, like what her net worth is worth? She's gotta be like a
billion, right? In the B? Yeah, I think she's
in the billions. Yeah.
But she sunk it all into this network
nobody watches. Right. But didn't she
also buy, uh, what's it called?
Weight Watchers? Oh, she
owns it now? Yeah. Yeah, cause I was saying
Shredded all the rules. Yeah, cause she's sort of too big to be advertising for them.
That's exactly why it was called to my attention.
I was watching the ad with Alicia and I was like, this doesn't seem right that she's shilling for Weight Watchers.
Alicia was like, she bought Weight Watchers.
Hey, you guys can solve an issue that Nancy and I had around the house today.
House Today.
You know, when you see somebody doing like a shampoo commercial or, you know, like some kind of cosmetic product or something.
But it's a known actor.
Yeah.
Right?
And they'll put their name up, right? So it doesn't look like, oh, Jennifer Garner is just doing a Revlon.
Right.
Like she's falling on hard times.
They just say, hey, this is Jennifer Garner.
Oh, they got the man
On the street
It just so happens
To be a famous person
Yeah
But you guys have seen that right
Yeah
Right this isn't
Like this is a thing
That happens
Yeah
Nancy was saying no
Cause she saw it one time
And she was
What the hell
She's got her name up
On the
I said well that's not uncommon
Yeah
Cause like
Huge fight
Two hour screaming match.
Who's afraid of Virginia Woolf?
Is that the lady's name?
I think, yeah, because, you know, somebody like Ellen DeGeneres does cosmetic commercial.
Yeah.
And it says, it always says her name.
They don't.
Does it?
I'm pretty sure.
Yeah, and it always says her name.
Does it?
I'm pretty sure.
She's like, I'm thinking more like actors who,
because the thing they're afraid of is they don't want to come across as,
oh, I don't get parts in movies anymore.
Now I'm slinging shampoo.
Right.
But if you put your name up, then it's like, oh, la-di-da. They don't always do it.
Not always, but it's not an uncommon thing.
Because Sofia Vergara for Head and Shoulders, they probably don't.
But I also don't think they do for Brooke Shields for Lazy Boy.
Well, that's the thing.
It's something they do with, if you're a big, big star, then fine.
You don't need this because everybody knows, holy moly, look what I got Sofia Vergara, right?
The highest paid actor in television.
But if you're, it's that middle of the road kind of, you've been in a few movies, right?
Maybe you were in a series in the 90s or
something.
And so it's, it's kind of a thing that they do
to not, cause they don't want people to go,
uh-oh, now they're shilling.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like, oh, they've just.
But if you put your name up, right?
What they do, like in infomercials, they'll
always have the person's name and it'll always
be like, like I'm thinking of those time of those time-life compilations of things.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
It's like Lisa Gibbons and John Sebastian.
Yeah, that's a whole other catalytic corn.
But yeah, I think like-
Sorry.
commercial, like a week ago, that was a Canadian McDonald's commercial that featured an actor that was on a TV series, and they didn't do the name thing, and I was like, so he's in
this commercial.
He auditioned for this.
This was another one of my points was, this seems to be something women do.
Oh.
It seems to me to be gender specific.
But it's so like it's
direct your letters to
my management.
Women, they get, they have a
chyron and they don't cyber
bully. They don't troll
you.
But this is not why I brought up
Abe Vigoda.
Yeah, what did he do to you?
Was he head and shoulders? What did he do?
And other people who've died
recently. Harper Lee,
George Kennedy.
Are these all people that were left out?
No, no. Harper Lee didn't.
She was
a novelist, so I don't know if she was credited.
See, that's another one, though,
because that was a very famous movie. Not that george kennedy died after the oscar yeah yeah he'll be in next oh omar sharif was in it was in
the the list right these are all people i assumed were already dead so who are the people i i
remember a few years ago uh uh shirley temple died and I assumed she'd been dead for 50 years. Oh yeah.
I assumed she died at puberty.
No, no.
She had like a UN career or something.
Yeah.
Um, but.
Shirley Temple Black.
Yeah.
Uh, but what, like, are there celebrities who you, uh, early on like episode one or two
of this podcast, we had an argument about whether Jonathan Winters was dead.
Yeah.
He was alive then.
I thought of all the recent celebrity deaths, which there have been a lot in the past two months.
George Kennedy was one that I thought he had already passed away.
I did not know he was still alive.
And Harper Lee I only knew was alive because they published a second book of hers.
Yeah.
But I assumed she had been dead also for 50 years.
And that did not go very, like, people did not like that book.
If she just waited six more months, they would have published it anyways,
but then she wouldn't have had to hear that people didn't like it.
I don't know.
People are so.
It seems kind of sad.
People seem very pissy now about stuff.
Don't they seem like they're like,
we're quick to turn their snood up.
Doesn't it seem like
people have very strong
opinions about this thing?
Why do you have to have strong
opinions about everything that
drifts across your radar?
And how is your childhood, which happened so long ago, so sensitive to being ruined now?
Yeah, you've ruined my...
This new book has shattered my childhood.
Yeah, I thought a childhood could only be ruined during.
No, no.
All female Ghostbusters.
You've ruined my childhood.
My idyllic, men-only childhood.
Yeah, people seem very, you know,
everybody's an emotional house of cards, right?
They can come tumbling down for any little thing now.
And far be it from, you know, I'm not like, you know,
I'm no Archie Bunker here, but there's a lot of times
I feel like saying, geez, you got to tough it up a little.
You got to quit grousing about everything.
Maybe I am Archie Bunker.
What's this?
But, you know, like I'm generally an open-minded, left-leaning kind of, you know.
Yeah.
But at a certain point.
A real trumbo.
Oh, boy.
Like you hear somebody, like that, you shattered my childhood because
somebody made a movie and I'm 43.
And you want to go, oh, boy.
Oh, boy.
Well, you know what?
Something was going to shatter.
It was a fragile childhood.
Oh, man.
This Archie Bunker character is off the wall.
Yeah.
The other thing that I don't, I might not understand this properly, but now people are
saying that all these kinds of things should
have, there's a, there's things should have
trigger warnings, right?
Oh, okay.
Because if something comes along, it drifts
across your radar and it has something that
could trigger some emotional, you know, you
got a bad memory, something you've blocked
out or something.
Sure, yeah.
So you've been emotionally scarred by
something in your past.
Yeah.
And so, but that, to me, that's like, I don't
get how that would work.
Like, I understand you don't want to be, have
your open wounds, your emotional scars
scratched open by.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But what about a spoiler alert?
This movie contains.
You can't, like, I guess I don't understand
trigger warnings. Like, does every, because theoretically guess I don't understand trigger warnings.
Like does every, because theoretically everything is going to have to have, like there would just be one trigger warning.
Might be some stuff in here that reminds you of bad things.
Do you remember, but even as a child, I remember seeing things that I was like, I shouldn't be seeing this.
Like this is forming scary memories for me.
Yeah.
Thriller video. this like this is forming scary memories for me yeah thriller video that's why they started with the uh that's why they started with this the viewer discretion is advised stuff yeah which
is i think that's just like uh the that's just like the trigger warning is just like a
kind of evolution of that where it's just like well well, I've written a thing, and it talks about very specific horrible things.
Yeah.
And so just so you know, before you dive into this,
if you've ever been eaten by a wildcat,
this is going to be touch and go for you.
But then doesn't that warning, just the warning, open up that whole,
oh, my God, I was attacked by a wildcat.
I forgot all about that.
It's still your stupid warning.
I guess, yeah, there's, well, there's always going to be somebody that's fuzzy to me.
Warning, there's trigger warnings coming, trigger warnings.
But also throughout the movie, like, countdown to wildcat.
Oh, yeah.
So I guess that's it.
I don't understand how trigger warnings work.
I guess I maybe don't understand what they are.
Throw that on the pile of things I don't understand how trigger warnings work. I guess that maybe I don't understand what they are. Throw that on the pile of things I don't understand.
But you know what I mean?
Like where, where does it, it's not even where does it, where does it start?
What do I need to warn people about?
I think it's, it's, from what I've gathered, it tends to be around things where it's somebody who has, like, survived a trauma.
Yeah.
And that talking about that type of thing in graphic detail may.
you're a journalist and you're writing a story about some particular horrible trauma, you would,
the trigger warning would be like, you have a little warning at the head of the story saying this story deals with sexual assault. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We, I was watching the news and
they showed it on the local news and the national news, the same story. And they, in one of the
stories, the, in one of the broadcasts, they gave a warning like, this contains images of animals being mistreated.
And then the other one, it was just like, here's the footage.
We showed you these images earlier of animals being mistreated.
Oh, well, I really actually kind of liked the warning.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it's like somebody made a good
comparison they were i think it was lindy west wrote this article about it about trigger warnings
and uh jimmy fallon was on tempted to just make a joke trigger warning this show contains jimmy
fallon this show contains no jokes but he uh he had an accident where he was wearing a wedding ring.
He had something called.
I can't even hear about it.
I don't even know.
It's called the ring of old.
Yeah.
And he said, don't look it up if you're queasy.
Like if that kind of stuff bothers you, don't look it up.
And so that was her example of like, well, that's a fair trigger warning.
He said a thing that would arouse people's curiosity.
Right.
And then said, don't look it up if you've got a weak stomach because it's pretty funky stuff.
And I looked it up and I was like, whoa, he was not kidding.
Oh, brother.
Yeah, I'm sure.
And I'm sure that Google searches for that skyrocket.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, man. So are there a list of things that you should give trigger warnings for before you talk about or write about?
I don't know that there's an official list.
Your lawyers will know.
Triggerwarning.com.
Yeah.
There's a whole list at triggerwarning.com.
But I feel like that is
Lawyer
The lawyer department
They would know
Yeah
But they'll be like
Ah you should warn people
You should warn people
About this
I went to Harvard Law School
So yeah
What is this character?
Oh
The New Yorker
Who went to Harvard
What's his name though?
Oh
Umbo
Bruce Trumbo Esquio
Crumbo
So yeah
That's what's going on with me
Some people died
Some people
And I thought they were dead
But George Kennedy for real
Yeah
George Kennedy
I was very surprised
In fact
From Naked Gun and Breath Ashore
You know
The thing that
The tweet that I liked about it Because you know People know, people always, RIP, they're your celebrities.
Somebody said, I think it's somebody we know.
I can't remember who it was now, but I think.
Anyway, they said, the next 50 eggs I eat are dedicated to you.
That's good.
Go ahead, Luke.
That was a good one.
And the thing that people do, and this is like a real pitfall of Facebook, is people will post, you know, that somebody has passed away and it's somebody who died five years ago.
And they're just posting like they're doing it because there's so many people dying and there are people that are famous enough that you'd know them, but not so famous that you would instantly go oh that was five years ago yeah george kennedy and john kennedy so when i saw when i saw george kennedy i thought it was one of those i was like oh somebody's reposting
from years ago but no he actually didn't know that was so what's the why do they do that why
is that is that a prank because i'm getting... No. Are they trying to expose people for being like, you know,
oh, he was my favorite actor or whatever.
20 years ago.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think that's...
You charlatan.
They're trying to...
You know what internet prank or whatever that I fall for a lot,
still to this day...
Is your fridge running?
It doesn't happen so often now.
You know those Prince Albert in a can.com on YouTube?
Why do I keep going to that?
No, but you know the videos that are like, because I like the paranormal stuff, ghosts and Sasquatch.
Why did it take this long for Bigfoot to come up?
Looking at the video, they suck you in and get really close.
And then like the scary monster face.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The shriek.
Oh, that's fun.
I fall for that so many times in my life.
Like fly off the chair in my hotel room.
Do you also, after it's happened, are you like, boy, oh boy, what a great time I just had.
And for free.
Yeah, for free.
See if we can get this ticker started
again
no but I
that's the type of
thing that you
you shouldn't fall
for 30 times
and I probably have
30 is a reasonable
number
uh there was a good
one that somebody
sent around that was
stare at this
uh yellow circle
for five seconds
and then it counts
down
five four three
two one and then
it just says, thanks.
We used to do that in the neighborhood, kids,
but it was the sun.
Stare at this yellow circle for a half a minute,
and then just walk away.
Crayon, what's going on with you?
I recently have
Joined Facebook?
Well, I guess we're all talking about things we saw
And stuff, so I'll just say that I watched
All the episodes of Fuller House
On Netflix
Which they just found out today
Renewed for a second season
Big surprise
I'm confused, I thought Fuller House was like a one-off, like a special
No, no sir It's a a one-off, like a special. No, no, sir.
It's a series.
And it should have been a special.
You know, looking back on it, but.
So, Fuller House is a sequel show to Full House.
Yeah.
What, how many episodes was it?
10, 12?
Okay.
13, watched them all.
No one, even on like a network-y style show yeah they won't do the full 22
no no that's true but it's funny that they released it on friday and by wednesday they're
like renewed say so that's uh that's how it happens now here's what i know of fuller house
okay did you watch full house uh no i mean i've seen episodes of but i was not like i gotta be
home by wednesday at eight or. It was Friday at 8.
I didn't want to give away that I knew when I was home.
I saw a commercial, like an ad for it.
Yeah.
And the joke that they, was like the oldest worst joke of the world.
Yeah, yeah. And that was like their go-to.
They were at a restaurant or whatever.
And the one of the kids who's grown is growing up yeah she's like you know she
doesn't she thinks she should be at home and the lady comes and says do you have reservations
yeah and she says yeah i think i should be home with the kids that's like like the oldest you
know they have reservations yeah but i you know i don't figure i'd eat here anyway it's like a joke
from the 20s that that whole scene, there's no reason.
They're in a club.
So why would you have reservations?
They're not sitting down to dinner in that scene.
So the worst joke of all time.
Doesn't even make sense.
It doesn't even make sense.
Wow.
They shoehorned in the worst joke of all time.
It's a fine joke.
It's been done.
I shouldn't say worst joke of all time.
Yeah, it's the most overused joke, overdone joke.
Yeah.
So is it a good show?
No, no, no.
I mean, the first show was not good either, right?
That's true.
Is it as good as the first show?
This is the whole thing that I was scratching my head the whole time.
Does it take place in the same house?
Yes.
You've probably answered all these questions already.
What about the little girl?
They're not fashion icons.
They don't show up. They don't want to sniff they've got so they've now
they do have they've hired another actor then to play that no she died she no she's in new york
wildcat ate her trigger warning please um she uh so what happens is it's a flip of the original concept.
So it's three women taking care of three boys.
Whatever happened to Prediction?
So Bob Saget and the guys are not involved?
Yeah, they are.
But peripherally.
They start out the first episode.
There's all this stuff that I'm like,
did you guys, did anybody sit down and think this out as a,
because he's going, Bob Saget's character was a television host.
Wake Up San Francisco. Yeah, so he's moving to L.A. because they got a show called Wake Up America.
But he doesn't look in the show like anybody that would be allowed
to be on television. Okay. Like he's
the only of them that hasn't
aged terribly well. Okay. Bob Saget.
Really? Yeah, he just looks
like he looks his age. He doesn't look
bad, but he doesn't look like
Hollywood. He didn't age the best.
Of the entire cast. And one of the cast
members was addicted to meth for years.
And she's she looks fantastic. And one of the cast members was addicted to meth for years. And she looks fantastic.
And she must have had her teeth done because they're gleaming white and meth use doesn't usually.
It's a real Nasher's drug.
So her DJ, her husband dies.
Okay.
Valerie Buray
yeah
she has to move
into
she moves back
to the
the house
uh huh
from the original
yeah
from the original show
and the dad's there
and he's gotta go to LA
and
Uncle Joey
is going to Las Vegas
right
to
maybe do comedy
yeah exactly
and Uncle Jesse is to be the music
guy on days of our lives or something like that so that's the general setup so they all leave the
house and then the dad like bequeaths this like four million dollar house to his daughter to just
bring up her like three kids and like he could have sold the house and then bought all the kids their own house
and uh and then uh stephanie's a famous dj wait dj's not a dj stephanie that's the one joke that
the real the series has going for it but she's dj tanner and dj tanner's like is she like a club dj
yeah yeah like a tiesto uh A what? Like an Avicii?
No, what are these words you're throwing at me?
I just learned Facebook, Dave.
Yeah, she's like, she does, yeah, dance music.
EDM?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, EDM.
And everyone's tripping on MDMA?
Yeah, this is what I'm, I don't know who the show is for.
Because it's not for kids.
Because it's constant, like, steaming windows.
And Stephanie, in the first episode, wears the craziest top that I'm like, well, that's for adults.
That's not for any kid doing.
How rude.
She says that at one point during the series, which doesn't fit.
And then, yeah, so I don't know who it was for and i watched it just out of like like the same reason that i
like all of it out of all of them yeah i watched all of them yeah because i like uh i have a morbid
fascination with like old headshots and stuff like that. Just like seeing how a thing ages.
Like I just couldn't stop staring at these actors faces and being like,
Oh yeah.
I mean,
they look good for their age,
but like,
what's happened?
What's happened?
The ravages of time.
Yeah.
It kind of,
and they also do a lot of like flashback stuff with old clips.
Yeah. With old clips. Yeah, with old clips.
Nice.
So that's kind of...
That takes the heat off the writers.
Yeah.
And then put in 20 minutes from an old show.
Somebody sitting in a tub came up with that idea.
Ah, trombo this thing.
I lost a lot of pages in the tub last night.
The first episode was just a clip show?
Oh, well.
Remember that?
Sure do.
Sure won.
We're out of ideas.
And they do this.
This is my favorite thing, is when a sitcom establishes its universe,
and then with any given episode just says,
Ah, fuck it.
We'll just do a different thing completely.
So there's a part where DJ remembers.
DJ the DJ?
No, DJ the original.
DJ the OG.
She remembers dating a guy in high school.
Scott.
Yes.
And then.
Wait, no.
Was the actor named Scott?
Or was it a Brent butt?
Or was it a Brent Leroy-ism brent leroy ism i don't know but she
remembers it and then he walks into the her remembering it like she's standing yeah scott
weiner the voice of aladdin so in her like it's like uh uh eternal sunshine and spotless smile
like they're watching this memory as a group. Cool.
But that wasn't part of the, like,
we live in this alternate world
where we can all see each other's memories.
They were all tripping at one of DJ Tanner's.
I didn't even think of that.
That's probably exactly what it was.
Drug dance event.
So anyways, it's doing very well
and we wish them the best.
And yeah. So are people watching it kind of as a lark that's what i watched it as but i are like young is anyone watching it
for non-nostalgic reasons that's what i the whole time i intend to find out but i what like when i
watched it i was like i'm not sure who this is for because after watching it, I don't need anything.
You don't like yourself.
No, I certainly don't like myself.
But I didn't like myself all that much going into it.
Maybe that's why I did it.
You're a peach.
But there can't be that many people.
But then, I don't know, is it one of those things like, well, there just can't be that many people that'll vote for Trump and it just keeps happening
like oh no
it'll never happen but
a lot of cord cutters cutting their cable
yeah
and it's like it has the laugh track and everything
and it also it's in like
HD so everything's like
you can see how fake the set
looks which is weird
that's the downside of HD though.
Like there are times when you really go, I would be enjoying this a lot more if it wasn't HD.
There's certain things that you go, cause yeah, you can see like the fakiness of stuff.
Yeah.
Sometimes.
Or, or it's just, it's sometimes it's disconcerting if the, for me, the cutoff point is when you start seeing things better than you can in real life yeah you
know where it's like this is it's unnervingly clear you know they yeah you're like what am i
even looking at tipping point where it's like if if this person was in the room with me four feet
away they wouldn't be this i wouldn't see these pores, you know? Yeah, pores are
unsettling. Sometimes someone gets a new TV
and they don't know how to switch the setting off
and so everything just looks like a
Mexican soap opera. Yeah.
But like the movement is so like
you know, like
crystal clear and like. It's kind of
littlest hobo-ish, right? Like that video
that they used for littlest hobo
was unique in its clarity.
Like it was crazy clear and no, you know, it was
early video, so there was no depth of field at all.
No, that's true.
So it was this weird kind of, you know, the car
that's a block away in the background is crystal
clear and the same focus as the dog.
Who's the point of the whole shot was weird.
Like your brain couldn't process it.
Never mind.
This dog was that smart.
I'm already having a hard time processing.
Just this solving dog.
All the great acting.
Oh yeah.
Oh man.
Now they're bringing back a lot of old shows for,
I guess for permanently in the case of Fuller House.
Yeah.
Or temporarily as in X-Files.
Right. Brent, were you asked to come back and reprise your role as the coroner from the X-Files?
Not once.
In fact, they cut one of the scenes on the day.
There's supposed to be two scenes with the coroner.
And I was quite upset because I was keen on the notion that this,
because in the first scene I get attacked by the vampire.
This is back in 1995-ish?
Yeah.
Whatever.
It was season five, I remember.
So it'd be like mid nineties or something.
And I was very jazzed to get the part because it had been filming for a while
and they had announced that it was going away.
Like I think the next season was gonna and i had always liked the idea of being on x-files because i was a fan of the show and here it is shooting in my even big town yeah and so
son of a gun if i don't get a part on it and so i was very excited about it and then the
i was supposed to have two scenes one where i'm the coroner examining that guy with the stake in
his chest and he springs up and attacks me.
Which is hilarious.
Because you have a funny, you have a one-liner.
Yeah.
Like a little zinger.
The vampire springs up and he says, do you have any reservations?
I'm like, this joke again, oh boy.
But, and then there's a second scene where Scully and Mulder are examining me and she is the medical person.
She's like, uh, checking out my neck.
Right.
Cause, uh, cause the vampire guy who attacks me and doesn't have fangs, he's not a vampire.
Right.
So he's just like a dude who bit my neck a bit and I was able to shove him off.
Turns out he's a wildcat.
So I was very excited about the whole, oh, Gillian Anderson is going to be checking me out.
I'm going to be doing a scene, you know.
Yeah.
Maybe we'll kiss.
Maybe she'll fall in love with me.
That's the way these things work usually.
No, but then they come knocking on the old trailer.
Yeah, just so you know, that second scene,
we're long on time, man.
And so in the script, they just like,
Scully Muller just go, yeah, that guy didn't die.
He just had his neck chewed.
In dialogue, you know.
You sound a lot like my
lawyer from Harvard.
I thought,
because I've, I don't think I've ever
seen the episode, I've just seen that clip.
So I thought you died. Sure.
Yeah, a lot of people do. A lot of people say, I saw you
get killed on the X-Files.
And I have to correct them.
So, yes, you could have been brought back.
Yeah, the whole spin-off.
A whole Better Call Saul kind of thing.
Better Bite Neck.
Wise Kraken.
How is that?
That's a great idea for a part.
The director was there when I auditioned for the part.
Because they're often not. You just audition for the part and cause they're often not, you know, just audition for the
casting people and they watch your video and,
but the director was there and he was from the
South and this episode takes place in the South.
So I do my line read and then he says, and
he's from the South.
He says, um, that was a good read, but, uh,
could you do a bit of a Southern accent?
And I said, I don't know.
You tell me.
I'll do it.
I reckon I could.
So I did.
What's this?
What's all this then?
Hello?
But anyway, I guess I did it good enough that a,
and then it was the classic.
I was walking away from the audition and they said,
Hey,
don't go anywhere.
Classic kind of moment.
Oh,
wow.
Yeah.
Come back.
You,
uh,
I think he stole something from the audition room.
You really offended the Southern director.
He's very offended with your,
yeah,
I just did foghorn leghorn for ten minutes.
With your broad character choices.
Now, we are way over time.
Oh, sure, sure.
So, shall we take a quick break?
Oh, absolutely.
Hey!
Hey there, hi.
What are you doing here?
Oh, my God.
I was just nodding off.
I just noticed you there.
Hey, guys.
This is a little break to let you guys know
that it's Max Fun Drive time.
It's still on.
Yeah.
We didn't cancel it in between.
I know that segment went very long,
but it's still on.
It's still on.
We're still doing it.
And, yeah, it's your chance to dig deep.
You know what?
You'll feel awesome about yourself for donating.
I donate, and I'm on the network.
You shouldn't. You know what? You should take your yourself for donating i donate and i'm on the network you shouldn't you you know what you should take your money back i donate i just explained to my book
keeper what max fund org.org was i she was like what's all this comes out every month you you
explain to facebook they're they're in charge of your banking. So basically, if you love the show,
if you love the network,
your money goes to us
and like the equipment we buy
and we pay for cab fares for our guests
and giant bottles of Crown Royal for them.
This is all fantastic news.
And it goes to support new shows on the network.
I think there have been something like
eight new shows added this year.
Yeah, and it's all kind of supposed to be under the same kind of umbrella of like,
not necessarily like type of show, but like feel of show.
Yeah, man.
Yeah.
Posse core.
Yeah, that's us.
And you can listen while you're working on your core.
This is the great thing about podcasts.
Exactly.
Listen to them anywhere.
Yeah, do a plank and listen to us.
Yeah, we're trying to reach a goal of 5,000 new and upgrading members this year.
And if you are a current member, we thank you.
If you would like to increase your donation, we'd love that.
But even if you wouldn't, there's a MaxFun meetup day on Tuesday, March 22nd at 7 o'clock local time in your city.
And if you want to meet up with people in your city who are MaxFun people.
Right.
There's a hub that you can go to.
Yeah.
You go to MaximumFun.org slash meetups.
And also, if you're a current donor and you don't, you know, this year has been tight.
Yeah.
You don't upgrade.
Then you can also, another thing you can do to participate is that you tweet the link to the donate page,
MaximumFun.org slash donate, along with something about why you like Maximum Fun.
Yeah.
Oh, and the hashtag ToastToMaxFun.
A lot of information.
Yeah, absolutely.
But you know what?
You're doing great.
And the best one, the best tweet will get a toaster from Breville.
Which is John Hodgman's
favorite toaster. I have a
Breville toaster. It really does a
banging job. It toasts the shit out of it. Two slices?
Four slices? It's two
slots, but they're quite big slots.
You could easily toast four pieces of bread.
You could throw a Texas toast in there.
Nothing to it. It's just fat toast.
Fat bread. Yeah, okay. Maybe a couple bagels in there? Easily. Texas toast. Nothing to it. It's just fat toast. Oh, fat bread.
Yeah, okay.
Maybe a couple bagels in there?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, you can go New York, Texas, whatever you like.
San Francisco toast to all of America.
Oh, sure.
It won't do Omaha toast for some reason.
What?
I don't know what.
It just spits it out.
No, this is flyover toast.
And that's what you're supporting.
That type of lightning fast wit.
Yeah.
So here are, this is what y'all have been waiting for.
Are y'all ready for this?
If you are a new donor or an upgrading donor at one of these levels,
here is what you will get as a donor to MaxFunDrive 2016.
At the $5 level, we already mentioned it,
exclusive bonus content, extra episodes of every show.
At the $10 per month episode,
the bandana of your favorite show.
Right.
So this is a specially designed bandana that has,
it's not gaudy, it's not a bandana that just says
in big block letters
hulkamania no it's it's like it looks like your standard bandana with them paisley swirls on it
yeah yeah but up close you can tell that you're a fan of stop podcasting yeah so only you and
your other gang members will know oh boy someone please start up stop podcasting yourself gang
yeah but no here yeah Here are the rules.
Crime has to be under $1,000.
No murders.
No murders.
Nobody can get hurt.
No hurting people crime.
If there was a Stop Podcasting Yourself.
But if another gang steps to you, you're allowed to defend yourself.
Yeah, you can defend yourself.
That's just life.
If there was a Stop Podcasting Yourself gang, they would just go around correcting people.
Also, I think zero emissions. Youing yourself gang, they would just go around correcting people.
Also, I think, uh, zero emissions, you know?
Yeah, sure.
Yeah.
Carbon neutral gang.
Yeah, carbon neutral gang.
Um, so yeah, you get to pick, there's 22 shows on the network and there's 22 separate bandanas to choose from.
Holy Jesus.
And at the $20 per month, you get everything mentioned earlier.
The bandanas, the episodes. Plus the Max Fun Adventure Necessity
Collection. Goodness. It's a
maximum fun, well, we're calling it a
multi-tool, but it's a knife.
Yeah, it's a knife, and you know what?
It'll start a good, that's how you start
a gang. That's true. Everybody come
equipped. Step one. You'll get
a hot chocolate packet with a maximum fun logo.
There you go, just like a gang. You'll get a parac packet with a Maximum Fun logo. There you go, just like a gang. You'll get a
paracord bracelet with a Maximum Fun logo.
I don't know what that is. What is a paracord?
Is it a bracelet that travels?
Also, it's free running.
It's also known as free running. A free running bracelet
or a paracord bracelet.
Same thing.
Paracord, yeah, I think that's right.
And plus on top of that
Camping toilet paper that one doesn't have a logo
On it but
It should you ain't complaining
Now at the $35 a month level
You get all of that stuff
Plus a vacuum thermos
With a maximum fun logo on it
Nice silver
And then at the $100 a month
Level Logo level you get membership in the Inner Circle, the
monthly culture club where someone from the network, I've done it, you've done it, chooses
a book, a movie, an album every month and you get it in the mail and you get a little
explanation of why we love it so much.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And you get it in the mail and you get a little explanation of why we love it so much. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And at the $200 per month level, you get all of that and free registration to MaxFunCon 2017.
Hot damn.
Hot diggity damn.
What would you say earlier?
What?
What?
Who woke me up?
What?
Hot diggity damn seems like a buttism.
Who woke me up?
What?
Hot diggity dams seems like a buttism.
Those gifts are for people who are new donors and upgrading donors from their current level.
Yes.
But yeah, if you are currently a donor, you'll get a little something in the mail if you're at $10 a month or more, I think.
So if that all sounded like craziness in your ears, you're not the only one.
But you know what?
The key points to take away.
We'd love if you donated.
Yeah.
It helps us do the show we do.
And you get to support a thing that you like.
Which rarely happens. We just celebrated.
Celebrated is strong for it because we didn't do anything about it.
Yeah.
The eighth anniversary of this show.
Holy Jesus.
I don't think we would still be doing this for free.
No, probably not.
I mean, I don't know.
You wouldn't be recording it,
but you'll be doing exactly the same thing
you're doing now.
You just wouldn't be recording it.
Yeah.
You two would be sitting on a sofa somewhere.
Yeah, just giving each other the zets.
That's what it was
what you got to do you go to maximumfund.org you click on donate select them the level that's right
for you and give your info and it'll process automatically each month and you'll look at
your credit card statement you'll be like oh cool yeah and let us know if you if you donate let us know on twitter
yeah hashtag max fun drive yeah and that other hashtag from toast to the thing post to max fun
hey is it stop podcasting yourself on twitter i don't think i thought like i follow each of you
as individual yes we don't have that okay so then i'm covered well we yeah we started the show
before we knew what twitter was and and podcasting yourself is just too
many goddamn
characters.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's, so, you know,
what are you going to
do?
Yeah, well, you can
reach each other.
Yeah.
Guys.
I just wanted to make
sure I wasn't missing
out on some hilarity.
No, no, no.
No, no.
This is it.
This is the hilarity.
You're getting it.
You're mainlining it.
You guys are both very
good on Twitter, by the
way.
Thanks.
You know, just in terms of of consistently high levels of comedic Twittering.
It's digital zets.
You as well.
Well, the one account.
The other account's mostly about hockey.
Yeah.
That's why I created the other account.
I love that, that you got two accounts.
Guys.
Yeah.
Do we want to move on to Overheard?
Oh, sure. Guys. Yeah. Do we want to move on to Overheard? Oh, sure.
Absolutely.
Overheard.
Overheards.
A segment in which we all overhear things.
We sure do.
And then we report them back here.
And we guffaw.
Then somebody overhears us laughing.
And in the cycle, the snake eats itself.
And we always like to start with the guest.
All right.
I have a small but impactful one yesterday.
And it actually, I thought to myself that it's a good thing that occurred because I didn't really have an overheard otherwise.
So it was a short but impactful.
didn't really have an overheard otherwise. So it was a short, but impactful.
I heard one woman say to another woman, as she
walked by, kind of in a huff.
Yeah.
She said, boy, he's going to get it.
Oh.
Which I thought was, first of all, it sounded
old-timey.
Yeah.
Which you love.
Yeah.
So it really perked up my ears.
Boy, he's going to get, like, just when you
start a conversation with a boy, like what do
you say?
Boy.
Was she shaking a rolling pin? A rolling pin. She had curlers in her hair. ears, boy, he's going to get, like, just when you start a conversation with boy, like what do you say? Yeah. Boy, it's almost.
Was she shaking a rolling pin? A rolling pin.
She had curlers in her hair.
I think it was Andy Capp's wife.
No, but I just thought, boy, he's going to get
it.
But it was also, if she didn't have the tone, I
thought, cause she was obviously, uh, host, as
we used to say back in my hometown.
Host.
Yeah.
Meaning?
Yeah. It was, I think a polite way of my hometown. Host? Meaning? Yeah.
It was, I think, a polite way of saying pissed.
Host.
Oh, host.
Host me, we used to say.
That was one of the big things.
If you're telling the story, oh, host me.
Which was the style at the time.
Sitting around a fire telling the stories.
Anyway, she was host, you could tell.
But because I was thinking if it wasn't for that,
the emotional context,
there would be some ambiguity to,
like, boy, he's going to get it, could be like,
oh, how might of his life.
I don't think women
really do that.
What, say he's going to get it?
Well, I don't think women have to psych themselves up.
Well, maybe they psych themselves up.
Yeah, they got to really mentally get there.
But then the other thing, so that was an overheard.
And then this is a kind of, you know, this isn't, it's a different thing.
It's an oversaw or something.
You know when you're somewhere and, you know, your phone picks up on somebody else's Wi-Fi.
Yeah.
And somebody had their Wi-Fi network name was World Wide Web.
I thought that was fantastic. World Wide Web. I thought that was fantastic.
World Wide Web.
Password protected, too,
because you don't... Yeah, there are some good ones. Password surfs up.
Oh, no, wait, that would be...
I get really, like,
I get bored when
some people just have the...
I guess some people's internet
provider gives them a name of a network and they don't bother to change it.
Sometimes it's like, like the place, cause Nancy and I, you know, we sold our house or we're, our new house isn't ready.
So we're renting a place.
There's a, you know, the wifi there.
And so the guy says, yeah, the, the wifi password, the wifi network name is,
he goes, hang on.
I just got to look it up.
And I wish I thought it was kind of weird.
Why do you got to look it up?
And it's just like a, it's the serial number or something that the router came with.
It's so annoying.
A nine, seven, six, two, three, four.
It's like, you couldn't give it another name?
Spice it up.
There's some good ones around.
Like I, when I used to take the bus to work,
it would automatically sort of pick up the ones in the neighborhood and it would be a different Spice it up. There's some good ones around. Like, when I used to take the bus to work,
it would automatically sort of pick up the ones in the neighborhood and it would be a different one depending where I was.
And there was just, like, there was always one that was, like,
FBI surveillance van, which was just to, like,
get people to not try to get on it.
Like, oh, no, I'm scared.
Yeah, I don't know that I, I haven't seen one that i like really spoke to me recently that's
the only one i've ever like i've heard of other ones yeah but that's the only one in real life
that i saw that made me go yeah which is a high watermark that's it for me i just had the time
of my life and i never felt this way before.
Well, that was a question I was going to ask you guys earlier when I was thinking about things I would chat to you fellas about.
Musically, are you, like, you just sang a song.
Dirty Dancing soundtrack, yeah.
Right?
Yeah.
Now, are you on the hook for that in any regard?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We got to give Bill Medley some money or whatever.
Is that who that is?
Bill Medley.
Who sang I Had the Time of My Life from?
I don't know.
It was the Righteous Brothers, right?
Was it the Righteous?
Oh, there.
And isn't Bill Medley one of the Righteous Brothers?
I guess.
Even though his last name isn't Righteous?
It's Medley, which is also Righteous.
I was listening to that Unchained Melody.
Yeah. In the car the other day
It came on the radio
And a ghost came up behind you
Starting to touch your ear
But it was
I was like
They could have used
A tiny bit of auto-tune
I know he's got a great voice
But I'm gonna fix it a bit
Like that's how
Jaded I've become
I think a guy named
Bill Medley
Would never finish a whole song
Right before just diving into another one.
That's my thing.
I'm trying to find, I took a picture of a really, or like a screenshot of a really good Wi-Fi network.
We're on to Bill Medley now.
Because you post this later on the World Wide Web.
You post the picture related to the conversation.
I probably won't find this, so I'll survive. Make one up in the picture. Yeah, it's fine. Related to the conversation. I probably won't find this, so I'll survive.
Make one up in your Photoshop.
No, it's cool.
Your Adobe Illustrator.
I want to learn, never mind Facebook, I want to learn Adobe Illustrator.
Because I was, you know, I come from a graphic arts background.
Yeah.
And we used to use CorelDRAW.
I know how you loved to sketch.
I loved to sketch.
I'm forever doodling.
I like to doodle.
You've got that graph paper app, right?
For those of you who don't know what graph paper is.
So then the digital computer world came along and CorelDRAW.
I learned CorelDRAW and it was a hell of a thing and I was quite good at it.
And then.
Illustrator would probably be easier to learn.
That went by the wayside because Illustrator
became the thing.
Now I got to relearn a whole.
But you, if you knew CorelDRAW, you'll be able
to pick up Illustrator really easy.
You should get one of those tablets, those
Wacom, Wacom tablets.
Yeah, I have.
I got a bamboo tablet.
Oh, that's the guy.
And I, but I haven't, it hasn't come out of the
box yet.
I haven't bought it in like a year and a half.
Well, you're in the middle of a move.
Yeah, I got a lot on my mind.
I got a whole stack of graph paper I got to chew through before I break out the tablet.
Before your tablet is fired, man.
First things first.
Dave, do you have an overheard?
Mine is from Home Depot.
Oh.
You'll love the way you look.
Is that men's warehouse?
I don't know.
I forgot what Home Depot's slogan is
You got problems
You're home, but better
You got problems
You can do it, we can help
I just remember it because I just did some shows
With Graham Chittenden and he does a whole bit
In his act about it, that's why I remembered it
Yeah
There were two guys that were friends
And one of them
They were in line at the self-checkout and one of them was looking at this like beautiful patio set up inside Home Depot that had like a barbecue that was like in part of the countertop, this like stone countertop that included the barbecue and like extra burners and stuff.
And like patio furniture and a fireplace on the patio and a hot tub.
And the other guy's not really paying attention.
And this first guy's like, well, when I win the lottery, that's what I'm going to do.
And the other guy goes, what, work at Home Depot?
Not paying attention at all.
Yeah.
What, have a conversation?
I like that that's his, if you win the lottery,
I'm going to get that barbecue I saw at Home
Depot.
Oh, this patio, you should have seen it though.
It's like, as long as the lottery is $15,000.
Yeah.
It's a weird thing.
That is it.
I'll tell you, I got to get that blouse I got my eye on.
If you have a hot tub, that must become like the center of your social life.
Like when people come over, you got to-
Bring your railings out.
Yeah, yeah.
Right?
You got to tell them that.
Like, because you don't-
I don't like the idea
cause it's not gonna be
just you
and your
significant other
just always
cause otherwise
cause in that case
don't bring your bathing suit
baby
yeah but I still got
neighbors and I
you know I let the kids
cut through my yard
cause it's faster
to get to the bus
cause Ferris Bueller's
trying to get home
before his sister
yeah I don't wanna be
sitting in there
I don't like the idea
of a hot tub, though.
I never have.
My buddy had one, and when we were teenagers,
I would hang out because he could get drunk quicker.
That's right.
My friend and I did that.
Oh, yeah.
Also, give blood.
But just the whole idea of sitting in something you know somebody's sweating like crazy in.
Yeah.
Oh, it's gross.
There's a grossness to it that I can't get past.
Yeah.
People seem to be having a hell of a time.
Like if you look at people in the hot tubs, they're like, ah, we're having the time of our life.
They're out.
It's cold out.
Yeah.
But they're in a hot tub.
Mountains in the background.
Hell of a time they're having.
But there's a grossness I can't get past.
I also feel like I have to get out after about three minutes.
As the father of a child. But there's a grossness I can't get past. I also feel like I have to get out after about three minutes.
As the father of a child, I go swimming and there's a special pool for toddlers.
You know that's filthy.
Yeah, speaking of grossness.
Yerenopolis.
I used to, my first job, I was 13 years old and I looked down.
I was a maintenance man, which was a pretty heavy handle for a 13 year old.
I was a Schneider from one day to the time,
but for the local paddling pool,
it was like where toddlers would go. I would, every day I would go and I would drain it,
scrub it, bleach the snot out of it,
and then fill it back up and let,
be ready to get peed in the next day.
Cause they have these.
First get in.
Crack that seal.
They have special diapers for swimming.
I do not know what the difference is.
No.
Yeah, I was just going to ask that.
Some wet in, some wet out.
Yeah.
It's sort of like an osmosis device.
Are they made by NASA, these diapers?
Yeah, yeah.
NASA diapers.
The only difference I've noticed so far is they come pre-zipped up or velcroed up.
Oh, so you just put the legs in.
Oh, yeah.
See, but that begs the question, why don't all diapers come like that? It's more convenient to... To do it yourself? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Why don't, now see, but that begs the question, why don't all diapers come like that?
It's more convenient to.
To do it yourself?
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
All right.
I don't know.
I don't know from diapers.
Like trying to pull a leg.
I won't over another four years.
They all, I just, I just keep picturing like what if somebody died in a hot tub, right?
Like they just, they'd like cook like a
piece of chicken right oh i wonder what castle would have to say oh yeah sure examining the
crockpot killer now graham do you have an overheard yeah yeah mine actually uh related to the uh
you can tell the time that i found this you can can tell Brent has cable because he made a castle gym.
This was related to the Oscars.
I didn't watch the Oscars.
Because Oscars are white, that's why.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I was protesting.
Me and Jada Pinkett sat at home
and watched the Fuller House together.
And she was like,
this is pretty white and i was like oh
you really be gonna kind of appeal um uh and so i knew i knew it was on and i knew that the thing
was that leonardo di caprio like that was what everybody was waiting for yeah and uh so it was a
alone in my room and typing and i heard from
outside i don't know what house it came from but i heard super super loud leo
so i was like hey maybe they were watching my movie no clue which my character's name was leo
well see i jumped to a conclusion yeah which I learned to do from your movie, No Clue.
Do your research.
But anyways, that was somebody who's so excited for.
Well, he's had so many opportunities to win.
Yeah. But it's weird.
Jay Edgar.
There was this like expectation that, well, this guy should have an Oscar.
And I was like, I don't know.
Is he supposed to have?
All of his movies.
You know how like big movie stars will do, like a Brad Pitt
will do, one for the studio and one for himself.
Sure.
Leo's are all for Oscar.
Yeah, but did he do that one that was a lot of fun?
The Pink Panther movies?
He was in all the Pink Panthers.
Those were just huge.
He was in The Wolf of Wall Street?
He thought he was going to get an Oscar?
Because that was mostly fun.
He was nominated for an Oscar.
It was a Scorsese.
I know, but you know, Scorsese didn't win one until like he made that like way later
in his career.
Didn't he get it for some movie that's like not even?
Yeah, The Departed, I think, which is not even a very good movie if you ask me.
Which, by the way, Leo was in.
Hoping to get an Oscar. Yeah. Well, The Departed, I think, which is not even a very good movie, if you ask me. Which, by the way, Leo was in, hoping to get an Oscar.
Yeah, well, he's got one now.
So now he can do all of the fun movies.
Yes, finally, Leo.
Let's do Weekend at Bernie's 3.
You and me, Leo. We also have overheard sent in from our listeners around the world.
If you want to send one in to us, you you could send it into spy at maximumfun.org.
This first one comes from Tim W.
This is overheard at a block party.
Tim Witherspoon, for sure.
For sure.
A bunch of teenagers taking their turns in the bouncy castle,
and one of them was saying,
okay, the game is tackle Marco Polo.
Oh, wow.
So you've got your eyes closed and you're tackling.
Yeah, you're trying to tackle somebody.
What could go wrong?
And then we all get in the hot tub.
Oh, yeah.
And then we just lie there until Castle comes.
What were the other ways to get drunk faster as a teenager?
Well, there was all kind of like.
Spinning, I think, was part of it.
Like drinking through a straw, drinking booze
through a straw.
Upside down.
There was all the, you know.
That's for hiccups.
Old wives tales.
You know, because you know, old wives like to
get hammered fast.
Like they need to be hammered now.
Oh, he's going to get it.
Did I ever tell you that this cracked me up
when I was a kid?
I had the hiccups one time and my dad said,
oh, you got the hiccups.
Here's what you need to do.
Take a mouthful of water and stand on your head
on the stove until the water boils.
And he like cracked me up.
He made himself laugh.
I remember him laughing as he walked out of the room.
Yeah.
And you're on your own now for the hiccups thing,
for real.
I'm out.
Least on a high note Never gonna get any better than that
Well
Just in the middle of
Helping you with your homework
Justin comes up with a good crack
I don't even have the hiccups now
I've never had the hiccups since
Do you ever get the hiccups for like a long time?
I don't know.
I used to.
I used to sometimes, but I don't seem to anymore.
Yeah, I just, I don't think about it.
I'm like, oh, I have the hiccups.
Anyway, next topic, and then you go away.
I will do one big hiccup.
Like it seems like a year's worth.
It really is.
But I will, especially often something carbonated will make it.
And it will just be like one big one.
And people will look.
What the hell is wrong with that?
That is a good noise.
Yeah.
That's probably where they got the Yelp reviews.
What should we name it?
And Brent was walking by.
Yelp!
Yelp!
Have you ever combined, like involuntarily, but like a burp and a hiccup or something?
Oh, yeah.
Two things go on.
I had chronologically one time, I was in high school, and I was sleepy.
It was time to get up and get to school, and I sat on the edge of my bed, all kind of, like, tired.
And I sneezed, hiccuped, burped, and farted, and I fell back to, like, in bed laughing.
Did you really do that? It was like and farted. And I fell back in bed laughing. Did you really do that?
It was like, achoo!
And I fell back laughing.
It was like my body did a systems check, like a self-diagnostic.
Sneeze, hiccup, burp, fart.
All systems are gone.
Because that was my friend Dave Cartwright's when I was a kid.
That was his fantasy, was being able to do all those things all at once.
Yeah, it happened to me one time.
Sneeze, hiccup, burp, fart.
Not all at once, chronologically.
Bang, bang, bang, bang.
I remember hearing that an orgasm
is the equivalent of seven sneezes.
So weird.
It's always seven.
You always hear people say,
yeah, a joint is like seven cigarettes, right?
In terms of damage to your lung.
Or vice versa.
I've heard the exact opposite, too.
People go, one cigarette is like seven joints.
Seven orgasms.
Seven is the heat.
One hot tub is filled with seven orgasms.
So that's 49 sneezes you're doing to your body.
This next one comes from Becky B.
Becky Vaccaro.
Becky B.
Becky Vaccaro.
This was seen at the Nuit Blanche event.
Nuit Blanche?
Yeah, in Edmonton.
White Knight.
This was part of a Yoko Ono installation
where citizens tie wishes onto trees.
And she took a photo of this.
You have to be a citizen to do it.
That's what I like about this.
Show me your papers.
Yoko Ono demands your papers.
This reads,
I wish for a paradigm shift
where we can progress from more than most of our shellfish crossed out selfish goals.
I'm going to eat mussels this year.
I am hungry.
Should we eat before we go to the wish tree?
I don't want to make the same mistake as last year.
That was so embarrassing. Where was this? This is in Edmonton. Oh, yeah. You don't want to make the same mistake as last year. That was so embarrassing.
Where was this?
This was in Edmonton.
Oh, yeah, you don't want to eat shellfish in Edmonton.
Prairie oysters.
What's that, a bull's testicle?
Yeah.
It's not technically a shellfish, but it sounds like one.
Yeah, right, buddy.
And this last one comes from Jeremy D.
Brent, sorry? Brett Brent. What's Jeremy D. Brent, sorry.
Brett Brent.
What's Jeremy D.'s last name?
Yeah.
Dakota.
Jeremy Dakota.
That would be a terrific name.
Oh, from that Saved by the Bell episode.
He's from Greenfield, Massachusetts.
Here's an overseen.
So this is one of those things that people, like decals people put on their trucks or cars.
Decals.
Decal.
That has a, you know, like a family of stick people.
Okay.
And so it's a dude, space, kids, arrow pointing into the space.
Ladies, this space open.
Oh.
You think I'm not moving on?
Watch as I scrape you out of my deck.
Oh, wow, that is a tough breakup thing.
When you get removed from the back of this guy's truck.
And then is used as like an advertisement.
You could be Calvin peeing on someone in here.
Also, is that an attractive offer to a lady?
That you can step in and be this kid's new mom?
This Full House could get fuller.
You could get a taste of this kind of pettiness
on a daily basis from me.
Also, can I say this about Fuller House?
I didn't realize until the very last episode,
DJ Tanner, she marries.
Thank you.
The eldest.
She marries somebody.
Her last name is Fuller.
I didn't realize that until the last.
So it's literally.
There we go.
See, that was a natural.
Yeah.
One time I went, oh boy, And hiccuped And farted
And sneezed
And died at the same time
Now in addition
I love an orgasm
In addition to overherses
That are written in
We also accept your phone calls
That's what I say
When I have an orgasm
By the way
Oh boy
She's gonna get it
Oh boy
If you would like to call us
Our phone number is
206-339-8328, like these people have.
That's how sex starts.
You're going to get it.
Oh, boy.
That's how it ends.
That's how it starts, and that's how it ends.
That's a real Flintstones soundscape.
You hear that running
that he does when he's...
Okay, phone calls. Here we go.
Hi, Dave and Graham.
Hilarious guest.
Grandpa. This is
Brad Kong from Chicago. I got an overheard
for you. My wife and I were walking
down Michigan Avenue,
which is like one of the main strips here. And there were some people on the sidewalk with
clipboards, like, you know, I don't know, probably Greenpeace or something like one of those things
that you want to avoid when you walk by them. And a man walking in the opposite direction was
stopped by one of the people. And the person with the clipboard goes,
excuse me, sir, do you like water?
And the man just replies, I do not.
He keeps on walking.
I do not care for it.
Oh, man, they thought they had him.
Do you like water?
I have the perfect question.
And anybody except W.C. Fields walking by will have to say yes.
Also, I know I'm mostly made of water, but didn't ask to be born.
You can ask me that.
Toodle-oo.
The first, you know, 25 years of my life, I had like, nope, Dr. Pepper's better.
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
I do like that he responded i
do not and not just like nope i was like i do not well i don't i don't have a go-to that i for for
the binder people that you know ask i like hey sign up for a thing i don't know why they think
that i have disposable cash what they think is that you'll stop. Yeah, and they're wrong. You have some cash.
Well, because I, when I worked at Downtown,
it would, like, they would ignore any guy in a suit
because they've heard no so many times from them.
Like, these guys are assholes.
But you, you got a nice face and probably, you know.
I'll probably say, I'll probably at least talk to them.
Exactly.
Yeah.
You won't give me a slap.
I had an office in the old Dominion building, which is a fantastic old office building here in Vancouver.
Formerly the tallest building in the British Empire.
In the British Empire for about a year and a half.
I used to work there too. And, uh, the, the office beside mine was like a place where
these people who would,
you know,
the,
these clipboard people,
they would congregate in the morning before
going to their various neighborhoods to harangue
people.
And it was like a cult.
They were like,
they were just so jacked up.
Like I had to go over there a couple of times
and say,
I'm on the phone over here.
I'm having meetings.
They're like getting pumped for the day to like
harangue people. Yeah. Yeah. You know, and they're like getting pumped for the day to like her way you know and they're like it would become like a this big party but like at 10 a.m you know
before they start the yeah before people go it was really creepy and weird but i told them it
must like it's one of those things where whenever i see a thing like that i'm like well it must work
because all these people wouldn't do it if it didn't generate.
I guess it's weird to talk about this on an episode where we're asking for money.
But we're not stopping anybody on the street while they're trying to.
Yeah, you keep walking with your earbuds.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's the great thing about this.
Fast forward, breeze right through.
Here's your next phone call.
Hi, this is Alison calling from,
uh,
Evanston,
Illinois.
Uh,
hello,
Dave Graham and lovely guest.
So today I was at a Starbucks for a few hours and there were these lovely old
women sitting next to me drinking their coffee out of mugs,
the whole nine yards.
But then about,
they've been sitting there talking for about an hour and I wasn't paying
attention.
And suddenly I hear one of them, near yelling,
you kill Osama Bin Laden, and then there's
another Osama Bin Laden. It's just
disgusting, Marion. It makes me crazy.
Oh, man.
Marion is the perfect name in that scenario,
too. I would love
if, like, CNN or whatever
just had, and now, you and now we go to the knitting circle.
Well, it makes me crazy.
What if it literally worked like that?
You kill Osama bin Laden and immediately there's another Osama bin Laden.
Oh, yeah.
Or there's two of them.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, and there's a stronger one in his place.
Oops.
Stop killing Osama bin Laden's.
We're lousy with him now.
Marion, stop killing Osama.
Well, they make me so mad.
And they're making me crazy.
They're making me crazy.
I can't be held responsible.
Oh, boy.
I'm going to lose the house.
The life of leisure where you can go to a coffee shop and get a to-stay mug.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, right?
Yeah, who are these women?
Also, I was thinking when she said a Starbucks that, like, 20 years ago, that would have sounded crazy that I was at a Starbucks.
Like, it just sounds like some futuristic or that even like when it did exist like for the
first five ten years it was like oh you're a fancy person oh you like special coffee
that's true and now that's become you like coffee that makes your pee smell funny and now coffee
shops have to do it in beakers to like be more fancy than starbucks oh yeah in my mind i'm
plotting the pilot episode of a sitcom called marion bin laden well i mean you've already
come up with a character yeah it's marion bin laden she she it drove her crazy she went to find him. She married him. It's Marion and
Marion. And your
lawyer's like, good news.
This is in the clear because that guy's dead.
And there's no woman
named Marion been left.
What about
Marion Trumbo?
Here's your final overheard
of 2016.
Hey, Dave and Graham and probable guests.
This is Alistair calling from St. Petersburg, Florida.
I was dropping a kid off at school this morning,
and when I was leaving, the sidewalk was a little bit clogged up
because there was a little girl who was kind of daydreaming
and just kind of spaced out.
little girl who was kind of daydreaming and uh she's kind of spaced out so i went by heard a uh a guy who was following behind this girl saying pomegranate pomegranate moves
so that girl's name was pomegranate i thought he was carrying a bunch of them like
that little girl was probably daydreaming she was thinking of all the different things her bunch of them like hey pomegranate hot pomegranate hot pomegranate coming through
that little girl
was probably
daydreaming
she was thinking
of all the
different things
all the different
names she could
have
Mary
Mary
Pomegranate
Dalton Trumbo
when you name
a kid pomegranate
you can expect
a fair amount
of daydreaming
yeah
yeah
that's true
and yeah stop being short with your daughter You can expect a fair amount of daydreaming. Yeah. Yeah. That's true.
And yeah, stop being short with your daughter that you named Pomegranate.
Let her daydream all.
Fathers be good to your Pomegranate daughter, John Mayer.
So likewise, she.
She's a superfood.
But yeah, is she going to say my friends call me Palm Wonderful?
What does she shorten it to?
Palm? Yeah. And then people go, do you mean Pam? And she goes, yes. And then she goes, I am. Yeah, is she going to say, my friends call me Pom Wonderful? What does she shorten it to? Pom?
And then people go, do you mean Pam?
And she goes, yes.
And then she goes, Pam.
Meg?
Meg's in the middle there.
You can't just go with Granite.
She can't be Granite, right?
But you're right.
Meg's in there.
That would work.
Or Nate.
Yeah.
Meg, Nate, or Gran.
Yeah.
Gran.
Just call me Gran.
Seven-year-old girl named Grand.
I mean, it's better than pomegranate.
What?
Why does that?
Well, because it's a wonderful fruit full of seeds that you just rip apart and they make your fingers all red.
It's a disgusting thing to eat.
I don't think I've ever eaten a pomegranate.
A lot of work.
I've had pomegranate juice, but I've never eaten a-
You have to, yeah, you eat the seeds.
It's an H of a lot of work.
Yeah.
For very little-
Thank you for not swearing.
To get the, it's a lot of work for very little,
you know, your return on investment is very
small with a pomegranate.
But it's got them antioxidants.
So it's worth it.
But it's like you eat the seeds.
That's like you break open, it's a hard shell
and then you eat the seeds.
It's kind of like jelly around the seeds.
That's really.
Yeah.
Now what they do is you go to a grocery store
and they have that department next to the fruit where they've cut up all the fruit for you and they're charging more.
But you can get like mango slices and a pineapple and melons and whatever.
Right.
And they now have like little things full of pomegranate seeds.
Ah, yeah.
And then you would just eat them like.
And just chug them.
But are they crunchy?
No.
Yeah, they pop a little. They have like a membrane around them that pops. That's kind of crunchy? Yeah, they pop a little.
They have like a membrane around them that pops.
That's kind of fun.
Nothing sounds as appetizing as the word membrane.
What's the one that-
Do you have any membranes?
Do you have anything with membranes?
I got a bit of a hankering.
The one that's all white that has the black speckled seeds in it.
What's that?
Like a kiwi?
Oreo cookie?
You're thinking of cookies.
Yeah, like an Oreo ice cream.
That the Girl Guides bring over in a bag?
No, it's a dragon fruit.
Dragon fruit.
Yeah.
Also, speaking of Girl Guides, I know we're wrapping things up here, but this is during the Oscars, Chris Rock had Girl Guides come out, and then Jimmy Kimmel did a bit about
it.
And in the States, Girl Guide Cookies There's like six different varieties
We only have the two
We have two, and for a long time
We had one
Chocolate or vanilla
Oh, now we have a mint?
We have a mint
Don't we have a maple one, isn't there?
Oh, but it's like
It's like an Oreo though Right have a maple one? Isn't there a maple? Oh, but it's like an Oreo though, right?
The maple one.
So like the ones we know were just basically Oreo cookies.
Down in the States, we've got all these different ones.
This one's got fruit chunks in it.
Beef and cheese.
Someone mail us some.
Yeah.
I'd eat.
I'd eat a lot of them.
I'd eat anything in the mail.
Anything you mail to me, I'll eat a lot of them I'd eat anything in the mail Anything you mail to me I'll eat
Someone reminded us
Reminded us
In our Facebook group
That like
Oops sorry
Oh
Good snag
Thank you
That like
You know
Maybe five or six years ago
On the show
Someone
Mailed us
Like a used bandaid
For some reason
Oh yeah
I don't know why
I hated it.
Spread some horrible disease your way.
That's why.
That was back in the day.
If you wanted to troll somebody,
you had to get a Band-Aid.
You had to put it in an envelope.
And I immediately took it.
I brought it to the kiddie pool.
Do your work.
Well, that does bring us to the end of the episode
but before we get going
we wanted to remind you
one more time
about the MaxFunDrive
absolutely
you go to
MaximumFun.org
you click on donate
you know
we do this
we do this
out of the goodness
of our hearts
we're like the
Selby Shadami over here
you know what
we're suffering
up here in Canada
with two kinds
of Girl Guide cookies.
It's so cold.
It's so cold
and we don't know
what other flavors
there are.
No cookie crisp?
We can't get that up here?
I know.
Like the breakfast cereals
we don't have.
That could fill up.
That could fill up.
A kiddie pool.
Oh, gross.
But yeah, head over.
The reason to donate is because
you're able to fund a thing that you like,
which is very satisfying.
Think of what you spend on,
how much time you spend listening to Maximum Fun Podcast
and how much time you spend watching movies
and what you pay for movies.
Like, if you really think about it compared to the other types of entertainment in your life uh like i listen to podcasts every day
and so i support them because i you know in this new economy where things are possibly free
i like to support the things yeah and and uh and you know what if you're if you're able to uh you know think about it and
if you're not able to you know we're not taking the podcast away from you yeah it's the the the
great thing about this is it's free forever so support it if you can yeah and uh and uh but it
basically if you're gonna do it do it now yeah, while it's on your mind, do it now.
There's prizes.
There's gifts.
Would you guys ever encourage people to, uh, involve themselves in criminal activities?
I mean, there's a $2,000.
No violence.
Yeah.
But like if, if another podcast attacks you, then you have the right to defend yourself.
Standard rules apply.
So, uh, yeah.
Maximumfund.org.
Click on Donate. Do it now while we're saying it.
And Brent, thank you so much for being a guest
on the podcast again.
My 57th
appearance. I think this was
the third or fourth.
My first one is a guy on Facebook.
It's exciting.
Try and friend Brent on Facebook. It's exciting. I know. Yeah. Oh, try and friend Brent on Facebook.
Get added to the list of people.
Good luck.
Go to my, like, a page.
Yeah, go like the page.
Is that so hard, everybody?
Is it so hard?
Official Brent butt.
That's all you need to do.
That's all you got to do.
And then thumbs up it.
That's what the kids say in the street.
Thumbs up it.
Yeah, thumbs up this guy.
Oh, boy. If they just say zup it, then everybody knows what you mean. He's Thumbs up it. Yeah, thumbs up this guy. Oh, boy.
They just say zup it, then everybody knows what you mean.
He's got to get it.
Give me the zets.
Zets?
And, yeah, thanks, everybody, for listening.
Thank you very much for donating.
And if you like the show, head over to MaximumFun.org.
Check out the blog recap.
Pictures and videos of things we talked about on the show.
Things like a Vagoda. Oh, yeah. Check out the blog recap. Pictures and videos of things we talked about on the show.
Things like a Vagoda.
Oh, yeah.
Me on X-Files.
Nero Wolf.
Nero Wolf. Yeah.
Brent on X-Files.
Yeah.
Castle.
But they didn't bring you back for the reboot?
They did not.
Son of a bitch.
Although I don't answer voicemails.
So if they. So if they...
What if they tried to friend you on Facebook?
Max Files wants to be your friend.
Skulder and Mully wanted to...
I declined them.
Skulder and Mully.
That's not that funny.
It's pretty good.
It's a funny thing that, like your aunt would say.
Yeah, Skuldy and Mully.
That's like from Mad Magazine.
The characters.
Moldy would be one of them, right? Yeah, absolutely. Skuldy. Sulkie. Sulky and Moldy. That's like from Mad Magazine, the characters. Moldy would be one of them, right?
Yeah, absolutely.
Skulky.
Sulky.
Sulky and Molder.
And Moldy.
Yeah, that's pretty good.
Anyways, thank you so much for listening,
and come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. MaximumFun.org
Comedy and culture. Artist owned.
Listener supported.