Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 418 - Alicia Tobin

Episode Date: March 21, 2016

It's week 2 of MaxFunDrive 2016. Donate to the show at maximumfun.org/donate. This week, Alicia Tobin returns to talk ghosts, other people's child discipline, and small town commerce.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 418 of Stop Podcasting Yourself, a special Max Fun Drive episode. Woo! My name is Graham Clark. Max Ghoul Drive.

Yeah, and with me as always is the Spookmaster General, Mr. Dave Shumka. Woo! Spookmaster Ghoul, you're all. This is off to a roaring, this is a spooky March episode It's halfway to September Which is one from Octobian And our guest today, one of our favorite all-time guests She is the co-ghost of her own podcast called retail nightmares or co-ghoul

oh yeah yeah i guess you're keeping keeping with the scary theme co-ghoul uh miss alicia tobin is our guest hi everybody hi dave hi graham thanks for having me on the purd burps. What's fun about this? Do you guys want to get to know us? Yeah, let's know each other. So Alicia, the last time we had you on, it was maybe like five months ago. But we wanted to bring out the big guns for Max Fun Drive.

Yeah. Thank you so much for bringing me as a ghoul. Yeah. Thanks for floating in through the door. That was tough. What do you, you believe in ghosts? Sort of. Yeah.

You want to believe? I don't want to believe. Oh. No, you don't. You hope there aren't ghosts. I hope there aren't ghosts. But when I was a kid, I think I saw a few ghosts and then a friend of mine lived in a

place that was haunted, my friend Sarah Hadar. And then I started to think, ah, shitters, what if there's ghosts? Oh, fuck. But you only saw them as a kid or you did see them as a kid? You saw something happen? You saw... Yeah, I have a couple of

stories. All right. One of them was after my grandmother died. Grammy Leck. I'm sorry. On my mother's side. Wow. Oh, man. Grandparents used to have the best names. Her first name was Florence.

Her last name was Leck. Florence Leck. Wow. Grammy Leck. And my grandfather and my dad. My grandfather was Marathon Leck. Oh, wow. His name was Marathon.

Is he Greek? No. He was Irish Scottish. And not much of a Lek. Oh, wow. His name was Marathon. Is he Greek? No, he was Irish Scottish. And not much of a runner either. Yeah. Big drinker. Yeah. Big womanizer. Oh, so he did his own type of marathons.

Yeah. Yeah. Marathoner. I hardly know her. So I woke up one night when I was little and my grandmother was standing at the jewelry box. But she was already a dad? She was already a dad. Oh, shit.

Twist ending there. So far, it just sounded like any old, any other story. Except for that she said this happened after her Grammy-lec died. Oh, yeah, that's right. So it was Grammy-lec and she was going through my mother's jewelry box, and she held up a necklace, and she turned and looked at me, and. A leckless. Yeah. And it just, I felt like she was very angry, and that I wasn't in danger, but that she was upset about something.

And I told my mother in the morning, and she said, yep, that makes sense. Um, my, we stole this necklace from her. Um, my mother grew up. Dreams don't count though, right?

Was this a dream? No, not that I remember. But it happened in the middle of the night. It happened in the middle of the night. So it's very possible. I have other stories from that house though. And that house is,

that house, a little boy died in the front yard. He strangled himself in a bush when he was playing. Oh man. And there was tons of really scary things that happened. And I talked to my brother recently about it, and he has different memories of weird things happening in that house. I, like, I'm.

I forgot to tell you, my mother's Grammy-leck and grandpa-leck owned a funeral parlor. So they grew up in a funeral home. and Grandpa Leck owned a funeral parlor. So they grew up in a funeral home. But when you saw Grammy Leck in your memory, was she ghosty? No. She just looked like normal Grammy Leck.

Normal. Clumping around. Yeah. Huh. Not floaty. Yeah, not floaty. No. Jangling any chains.

Yeah, not goopy. But in that house, I also, 100% this could all be dreams, but I didn't sleep a lot as a child. And I would just sit on the stairs at night and watch these shadows in the living room. Well, maybe you're

a weird haunted kid. Yeah, maybe you're the haunted kid. Yeah, because if a kid was watching shadows like at night, that would creep me out. If I walked past a window

and there was a kid just staring out looking at shadows. There's almost nothing that a kid can do at night that I don't find creepy. And there were shadows, there were people sitting in chairs, and there was a black cat ghost also. Now wait, you motioned with your hand like it was a flying ghost. No, no, he was like, he would walk on the chairs.

Okay. In the living room. What show is this? This is Alicia Tobin's spooky childhood. Yeah. And then there was maybe one other time as an adult that I saw a man standing in a room and he wasn't there for much longer. Weird. But, you know, could all have been dreams.

Yeah. It could all be explained. But I also like, I don't i'm i believe one person one day that's like oh no science here's the scientific thing and then the next day i'm like oh yeah no spirits it's so scary i don't know what happens to us and i don't have any idea you don't but you're a nutritionist yeah uh wait a minute. So you think that Grammy Leck, was she stuck between worlds? I don't know. I was just a kid.

Yeah, that's true. But you've had a lot of time to think about it. And it's all you've done. The thing is, I didn't... You never caught up on that sleep. You just lay awake at night thinking about it. I didn't think about it because I didn't want to think about it until Sarah had that thing happen at her apartment. What's this?

Is this the place that I helped Rat Proof? Yeah. Oh, well, it was probably ghosts. We wasted all that time putting in her apartment. Was that the place that I helped rat proof? Yeah. Well, it was probably ghosts. We wasted all that time putting in that mesh. But you believe in ghosts. Well, I come from a long line of family that believes in ghosts. And wasn't your grandma on your dad's

side sort of an interesting person? Yeah, she had psychic visions all the time. A lot of which turned out to be true. But she wasn't braggy about it. But yeah, if she said somebody was going to die, man, they died. Maybe she was a murderer. Speaking of psychics,

you know how Vancouver is going to have this big cataclysmic earthquake that's going to kill us all? No, no! It's not going to have this big cataclysmic earthquake that's going to kill us all? No, no. It's not going to happen until next year, according to a psychic that two of my mother's friends went to separately. So, it confirms it. Well, it means at least that psychic is being consistent. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, I got to go. I don't have an earthquake yet. Earthquake. It? Buh. Cheesequake. Cheesequake.

Blizzard. Vancouver will be struck by a cheesequake blizzard. And I also used, when I was younger, I would have dreams and they would come true. It was very strange. Like a dream come true. I would wake up from a dream, walk out into the world, and it would happen. I got bad news for you. I had a dream about you last night.

And it was a dream that you posted on Instagram, a picture of your sprained ankle. And I was like, oh. Fuck. Well, that's for sure going to happen. Well, yeah. I know. Oh, God. Then I immediately woke up and checked my phone.

I was like, oh, phew, it hasn't happened yet. Is that true? Yeah. You know what's really strange is that ever since I took that fall a few years ago, I've continued to take falls. And I have a vision of me falling very badly, and it startles me all the time. This is a bummer, Cass. Yeah, well, I think, you know what I think? I have the post-traumatic.

You haven't been falling. I think Grammy Lick's been pushing you. Or Graham's murderer. Oh, yeah. Family member. My most recent fall was super embarrassing.

Yeah, because you fell face first into a dog's butt. Worse. There's this guy at work and he's super muscly um we don't have anything in common that's just not where it starts it's like um but i was running to use the bathroom and it was cold so i really had to use the bathroom but the great clean bathroom at work is a a good jaunt through the parking lot and you go into the warehouse and then it's like a brand new bathroom it's always clean instead of sharing it with the guys at work right oh i don't

get what's going on guys oh man everything and uh i hit a patch of black ice and went down so hard into a dog's butt Oh, man. And then that guy had to pick me up. Muscle man? Muscle man. Was it super nice to be picked up by a muscly guy? No, it was so humiliating. And was he all oiled up?

He's like super tan. And like wearing a Speedo? Yeah. And on the way up, I made sure I gave him a good blue job. Yeah. Well, I mean. This is a weird episode. Yeah, absolutely it is.

Have you ever hugged somebody who's really muscly? Yeah, by accident. I think about it all the time. Yeah. It's like, it's like, like, you know, like carrying a turkey at the grocery store. That's what it feels like. Like you feel the... I feel it every time I hug the mirror. Yeah, when you do that thing where you stay in the corner and pretend you're making out with a girl.

Yeah. But I face the wrong way. And so it's just me going... Yeah, it just looks like you're in a straitjacket. Yeah. So what's going on with you alicia in the more general sense um well i recently got laid off of my job oh there we go so now now the podcast picks up some momentum yeah now we're into fun but then i think i got offered a better job which is great so i'll

know next week i've got my podcast going which good. I'm working on my little book. I found an illustrator, Aaron Gibbs. What's your book? So You're a Little Bit Sad, So What? Nice Things to Say to Yourself on Bad Days. And so it's a book of sweet things to say to yourself that are also funny and also drawings by Aaron Gibbs. Nice. Yeah.

And TBA, like when it's going to be- Published? Yeah. We have to find someone to publish it, but I don't think that's going to be a huge problem because I have connections. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you got that muscle guy. He could probably-

And you got- You know, you could work on some- You know a few ghosts. Yep. Get a ghost writer. Oh, yeah. Have you ever been in a place where you felt like it was- Haunted?

Like you're like, there's spooky energy? Graham wants to talk about this. One time I... We had Brent Butt last week, who is obsessed with the paranormal. I know, and we barely brought it up. We did bring it up at one point. Isn't he obsessed with Sasquatch? Yeah.

That's not paranormal. Paranormal? Paranormal, yes. That's a tundra monkey. That sounds like some sort of slur. Yeah, it does. You take that back. Yeah, I made it up.

Monkeys have tails. It's a tundra ape. Yeah. But it's... Have you ever hugged a Bigfoot? Yeah, yeah. They smell real bad. But so muscly. They smell real bad. But so muscly.

They smell real bad until you get up close, and then they smell kind of like caramel. Yeah. I used to, when I was a kid, I would babysit for neighborhood kids. For troubled youth? Yeah. Oh, man. I would show up in a leather jacket. I would sit backwards on a chair, and I'd be like, I'm giving it to you straight.

You're going to bed. I'm going to eat all the popsicles. Yep. But one of the kids that I babysat, his dad. Was a ghost. Swore up and down that he had seen Bigfoot. Oh. In his youth.

He was a tree planter. And one night, he smelled this crazy smell, and the horses went wild, and he went out with a lantern, and he saw. Was he from the 1800s? He was from the 1800s, yeah. Oh, he was a ghost. He was headless. Yeah, I remember talking to him. He put on his pumpkin head to get a better look.

Yeah. His head was down here and he's carrying it like, why do headless guys carry it there? Donors to the MaxFunDrive get our bonus episodes. And our bonus episode this year was we tried to figure out the plot of a bunch of famous stories and movies that we had never seen. Yeah. Like Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn and Gone with the Wind and stuff like that. One of the, like The Headless Horseman is another one of those. Oh.

I don't think I could tell you the plot of that. I think I've seen the Tim Burton one. Is it Ichabod Crane? Ichabod Crane. Oh, Frasier's dad. Yeah.abod Crane Oh, Frasier's dad Yeah Frasier's grandfather Frasier's dad is Martin Crane

He's a real In the Disney version He's a real coward He's a real goofball coward Oh, okay But in the Tim Burton one He's like a scientist He's on the lookout for

And isn't there a new Or like a Maybe it's cancelled by now But there's like a crime solving show with him? Oh, yeah. I think we watched that. And he's like, he's traveled through time to solve crimes with a lady. What is that?

But it's not the Headless Horseman. Wasn't he doing all the crimes? Dude, I don't know. What if it was a cop show, modern day cop show, where it's a headless guy who gets teamed up with a pumpkin? Oh, that would be good. Yeah. Shoulders and Jack, they'd call it. What, okay, so there's the book.

Yeah. There's a possible new job. Yep. Your podcast is going swimmingly. Not bad. Great. I'm is going swimmingly. Not bad. Great. I'm having a great time. Really?

Yeah. In general? Yeah. Like things are really like the job thing threw me. That terrifies me to not have a job. Tell me about it. But everything else is going really well. Everything else is so far to USA.

Yeah, you do. I look good. Yeah. Like, I'm getting facial acupuncture. That's crazy. I thought you were going to say I'm

getting facial hair. I'm taking care of my facial hair. Oh, yeah. What's facial acupuncture? I mean, I know what the words mean.

You get needles stuck in your face. Have you done it before? Yeah, and they put magnets on your face too to help with wrinkles. Okay, okay, okay. Okay have you done it before? Yeah. And they put magnets on your face, too, to help with wrinkles. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Slow down. Okay. Slow down.

Yeah. I'm just a headless pumpkin. Yeah. That'd be cool if a headless horseman held like a pumpkin over his head and it played In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel out of its mouth. In your eyes. The light, the heat. Your eyes. I am the heat. Your eyes.

I am a complete. Your eyes. I see the doorway. Of a thousand churches. Now you did facial, have you done this before? Yeah. How many times? Twice.

And they go, you go in and you say. Give me the magnets, facial magnets. Is it two separate magnets? It's like thousands of little magnets. Oh, in the pins? No. Oh. So they do pins magnets, facial magnets. Is it two separate magnets? It's like thousands of little magnets. Oh, in the pins? No. Oh.

So they do pins first, then magnets? They do magnets. What does a thousand little magnets look like? Pebbles? Almost like ball bearings. Ball. Ah. Or beads.

There's more of those on Earth than there are stars in the sky. And then she puts needles in my body that often hurt quite a bit. Front or back? Legs and arms mostly. I thought this was supposed to be facial stuff. And feet and a few in the face to help with drainage and energy flow. You do seem like you're constantly draining. There's like a trail of ooze behind you. Why are you being so mean on the podcast?

I'm helping you. I'm being helpful. I'm being nice. I'm saying that your acupuncture is working. Acupuncture. Acupuncture. Have you ever tried anything kind of like that, Dave? You seem like somebody that could benefit from something.

I have not. What's the weirdest thing? Because it's not. We still need to do that reflexology on our feet. Oh, yeah. That someone bought for us. Somebody bought us reflexology. Oh, you guys would probably really like that.

But that's, I think, pseudoscience. No, it's judo science. Oh, right. They throw you down on a mat and rub your feet. Now, what else? I've been in like a hot tub. Is that true? I can't even imagine.

Who else was in the hot tub? Oh, it's been a while. I don't remember. Some Swiss people. Yeah. Let's see. I haven't been in a sauna in years. I've never been in a...

Have you ever been to an infrared sauna? No. Oh, they're great. What is that? It's a different type of heat. It's a dry heat heat It's a dry heat I've dry heaved Is that new agey?

Have you ever had like a massage? No Have you ever had Just the happy ending? No, Dave! Oh, okay No, I haven't Okay

No, I don't Like,. No, I don't. Like, I don't even like going to a doctor doctor. Like, I don't like being touched. Yeah. I'll do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, we're all getting to that age, fellas. Yeah, yeah.

So the old finger up the butt. Yeah. I'm told. Yeah. What age is that? Why stop at just one if you're down there? Yeah. Let's go for the clinic record.

Yeah, give me a hat trick. I think it's 40. Okay. We've got a few years to go. A few. I remember past guest Josh Stubbs, when he turned 30, he went and got all those tests done. And then the doctor was like, so do you have a history of prostate cancer in your family? He said, no.

He goes, I'm 30. That's when you do this. He's like, it's 40. Well, I'll see you in 10 years. I wonder, what would be,

like, I don't, because Graham did the float tank. Yeah, I've been on float. I've done acupuncture before. In your body? Yeah, and've been on a float. I've done acupuncture before. In your body?

Yeah. And it hurts a lot, man, because they stick it right in the nerve and then they wiggle it around. I think you had the physiotherapy style. Yeah, yeah. That's very painful. Very painful. Yeah. The stuff that I am doing now.

Yikesupuncture. I've had that. Yeah, yikesupuncture. You and Shaggy. Yeah. Did you... Abby did acupuncture when she was pregnant in uh no no i think i think like her hands were numb and stuff did it help i don't remember it was fine it's fine it's like your your medical services cover it. Yeah. Remember that crazy mask I gave away, the electrical mask? Yeah. I tried that on and turned it on.

It looked like a serial killer mask. Oh, yeah, yeah. I put that on. And it did like vibrations in your face? Yeah, it was super weird. One time, I think the closest thing I've done to that is I once got this thing to remove pills from your sweater. Sweater shaver.

I mean, it's not similar, except that they're both from the Sharper Image catalog. I thought you were going to say that you got a skin tag remover. Oh, I have done that. Really? Yeah. It burns. Oh, it burns.

Oh, man. I got hella skin tags. Yeah. I don't know what happens, but all of a sudden, it is Skin Tag City, USA. What? Guys, don't tell people. Why?

Why? It's funny. It's just excess skin. Yeah. It's just more skin for your buck. I heard, never mind. What? No.

What? I don't know if it's just more skin. I think it might be like a little bit of a warning sign, I think. Of what? I think. Of what? I think. Too much skin? Type 2 diabetes? No.

No, it's. No, I just eat ice cream every day and it's fine. I ordered a case of ice cream today. Oh, yeah? Yeah, it'll be at work tomorrow. Someone's got a case of the ice cream. Oh, it's so good. What kind?

Screaming Brothers, Canadian product. But you have dietary problems. Yeah, so it's dairy-free, but it's delicious. Graham's had it. What's the driver? Coconut milk. Ooh. Honey.

Chocolate mint. Oh. Do you want one? Yeah, it's actually... No. You'd like it. I'll stick to my... I make my own toilet ice cream.

Yeah. I know what kind of ice cream you have. You always have really good ice cream here. Toilet ice cream. You're I know what kind of ice cream you have. You always have really good ice cream here. Toilet ice cream. You're Pruno. Yeah. From prison. Yeah.

What's the, what is the weirdest health kind of like holistic thing or whatever that you've done? Last summer, my friend took me to like a body healer, like a spiritual healer that. Like a Reiki? Nope. Almost like a. Reikin 2? I don't know. Electric Boogaloo?

I don't know what it's called, but it was very intense. Very intense. So what did they do? Like what, like. Well, her name is Rachel. She's on the island. It was a really intense and amazing experience and hard to describe. Yeah.

But she. Do your best. Touches like you go to her house. She has a house on the ocean. Floating house. Going to be wiped out in the great earthquake of 2017. And she's just this really warm and friendly person. And it doesn't feel weird at all.

And she has a massage table. And probably different for different people. But she touches you and she receives messages and then tries to realign your energy messages from your body yeah okay she doesn't oh i'm i'm touching you and uh oh you're gonna fart montezuma has told me that it's about to take its revenge. Get out. She's going to blow. Wow. And was it like, did she seem like a normal person?

Yeah, she really did. I think that's my friend who recommended her is a nurse and very scientific. And she had been recommended by somebody that she really trusted, somebody in the hospital that she worked with. And she's like, I think you might like her. You're into weird stuff, right? I'm into kind of weird stuff. But your body's always in pain.

Yeah, so I will try stuff. I will try a lot of things to kind of alleviate pain. And it was a wonderful experience. I can't quite explain it. I've since recommended her to other people, and they've also had had great experiences is there a weird holistic thing you want to do yeah for sure i would totally if i had for sure i would totally like yeah do some surf reiki yeah like reiki people have tried on me and i'm like this doesn't work stop it um what would you do I would have a colonic if I wasn't so shy about someone touching my butt. I know. That's why we need robots.

I know. Everything. Like, I would do all of these things if it was impersonal. See, I would be more afraid of a robot doing it because they would videotape it with their camera eyes and then show it around the club. Around the robot club? Yeah. Check out this guy's butt. Telling stories in the robot club? Yeah. Check out this guy's butt. Telling stories

in the locker room. Yeah. That's one thing I've gotten good at being naked around other people. Oh, yeah? Like I... Hey!

Never naked around us. But like I shower sometimes in front of people and it's fine. Yeah. Good for you. Yeah, no one cares. I feel like that's...

It took me a long time to get there and still sometimes when the gym's really busy I'll go and change in the private. There's a little change there. And they have stalls, individual stalls. But they also have a gang shower when the stalls are done. And I drop my soap every time.

And everyone's like, get back to your cell and make me some toilet ice cream. Yeah, I think that that's probably the new age-iest thing I do. Shower amongst other people. In men's locker rooms. Because I used to have to go every Saturday.

When you were living out of your car and showering at the Y. My dad would take us to the YMCA and just make us swim until we were exhausted. You know how long that takes? Ten minutes. Yeah, exactly. Have you tried doing laps lately?

Oh, boy. So hard. I was fascinated as a kid by all the different showering techniques that were on display. Eyes on your own work. Have you learned anything? Because I feel like that I'm never going to get the swing of it. No, my showers are 20 minutes.

I zone out. I saw one guy once. You have a radio in your shower, though. Yeah. That is luxurious. It's true. I saw one guy once who, he like revolutionized the way

I thought of how to shower. Because he poured whatever was like the multipurpose gel that was like shampoo and body wash and whatever. Just pure out. That the gym provides. And he used his head like a loofah. Like that's where he did all the sudsing. And then he transferred to different parts of his body. And I was like, this is perfect.

And then the last thing he did was rinse his hair. And everything was done. I'm more concerned that other people are watching my technique. And that's why I'm real quick. Real quick with the butt. Oh, no. Not me. I luxuriate.

I want everybody to know. Clean enough to eat off of everyone. I'm starving. Yeah, the shower at my gym, when I go to the gym, I often go to the hot tub and the sauna. And I'll go for a swim a couple of laps. And maybe before that, I'll go for a Pilates class or something. Yeah. But you're supposed to shower before you go into the water.

Yeah. And a lot of the time, i'm just fresh from home freshly showered clean bathing suit and then freezing cold water misery and but also i have a little bit of a in my brain everything should be a police state so if i see people breaking the rules right putting on like scented lotion and stuff i just want to point at that sign that's like no scented lotion what like before they go in the pool that people do everything

they're not supposed to yeah the people do everything want to be real slippery when I get in the water yeah I don't want to get tackled in my

underwater polo game underwater polo they're tackling polo football I want to be real slippery slamming the eel in the water

oh man yeah have you ever watched water polo no it's insane man I don't know why anybody would do that like we're not seals right like we're not meant to be just like treading water

it's too deep for is it a special pool i guess that you can't touch the bottom the visiting team always has the advantage of touching the shallow end uh yeah but the first time i saw it i remember thinking like uh wow this is a brutal and just like so exhausting. Oh boy. Yeah. Oh man. Are you allowed to just sit by the edge with your arms over? That's what I do. Yeah, that's a real relaxed stance. Oh boy. Up at the side of the pool. I haven't been in a hot tub in a long time, but last time I remember, it's just too hot,

too fast. You know? Yeah, you have to develop a technique around it. What's your technique? Slowly dip in? Go into the pool. Have a cold drink? Yep.

I always bring like a liter of water. Then I just pour it in the hot tub. It's cooled down. Then I get in. Yeah, you just jump in right where you poured it. There's a slurpy machine next to my hot tub. So lucky. You can go to a really fancy gym.

I only go to a moderately fancy gym. Yeah, a slurpy machine. Well, you can get a a really fancy gym I only go to a moderately fancy gym yeah it's slurpy machine well you can get they have a Wendy's frosty machine as well

so it turns into like a super fudgy super fudgy hot tub yeah yeah I feel like do you have you ever been

in an outdoor hot tub an ODHT once I got really drunk in an outdoor hot tub and I grew up in quebec and i guess i was about 20 at the time and i spent the night at no we drove back into the city

have you ever been in an outdoor hot tub i don't know because some people would be like no i've only ever been in an indoor this is not this is not digging deep well You wait until you find out My follow up question So you know You got really drunk in it Uh huh And then I Would get out

And roll in the snow And get back in How old were you? 20 Okay Threw up for 5 hours Afterwards Oh wow

Like I don't That good Getting in I'm not smart Did that ruin a booze for you? Also Uh No

Like booze has just Really recently been ruined for me no no i mean like because like when i was a teenager i got super drunk at a party at drinking vodka and i have to kind of never really gone back to the only thing i've never gone back to is grappa to show you the like the bottom of the barrel what is grappa it's the bottom of the barrel it's grape yeah it's made with like it's purple stuff it no it's it's white it's clear oh welches but it's uh like a gross weird strong italian liquor oh wow like almost like moonshine is it like wine runoff and there's a byproduct of wine or something metaxa it's like an egyptian

that sounds like a disease. I've got severe metaxa. Yeah, metaxa of the puss. You know what? That only just dawned on me that there's probably all sorts of country-specific liquors that I've never heard of. You're a city mouse. I am a bit of a city mouse, but I would like to try some Metaxa

or whatever else is out there. Grappa? I've heard bad things about Grappa. Yeah, Grappa, I one time made me throw up

into a hot tub. I threw up a bunch of snow. I got this story mixed up. I threw up while a bunch of girls were rolling around in the snow. How fun would it be

to throw up snow? Oh, yeah. If it was still intact? Yeah. You're so happy about that. But it would be cold. It would be like. It would be magical.

Like a Snoopy snow cone? Yeah, the Snoopy snow cone machine. And then someone comes along with the syrup thing. Oh, boy. Real mixed emotions. The last time I felt this, like, what a great idea. How would you market it?

How would you market it? Was when we came up with those bread slippers. Oh, yeah. What a sensation. Yeah. Throwing up snow would be quite the sensation. On a summer day? Oh, yeah. I recently tried to explain the bread slippers to my boss and i just watched him lose all faith in me oh really and that was the day you were laid off yeah strange

coincidence one thing i did in the summer that was so refreshing was i took you know those uh ice packets that you're supposed to put on your balls yeah balls. After you've had sex. You're doing it right. I took a bunch of those, laid them on my bed, and then I took them up just before I went to bed, and the bed was super cool. Oh, so nice, you guys. You're like a modern-day Edison. Yeah. I'm like Tesla. Yes.

So refreshing. Everything was the cool side of the pillow. Everything was the cool side of the pillow. Oh, the cool side of the pillow. Cool side of the pillow. That's the best. It's the best side of the pillow. Why can't both sides be the cool side? Now that's a product.

Why can't a pillow just be the other side? Hey, Dr. Ho. Was that the name of the guy? Yeah, yeah. With the wheat husks? Yeah, he's always trying to figure out a new thing for the neck he has this one it wouldn't even catch on fire when he tried to catch it on fire what's there it's a it looks like one of those neck pillows that you wear on a flight but it's

got like different levels oh pushes your neck up like that's his leg a Like a stretcher? Yeah. Is he also, you know, forgive me if I'm racist against all Asian infomercial gentlemen and think they're all the same guy. But is he also the guy who does that ab thing that violently will pulsate your abs? I think it is him. Yeah, it was the old, because that's. Gosh, I hope it's him. Now I feel. But that's an old, that's like, because in the Bruce Lee movie, he's doing that. He's got electrodes connected to all his muscles.

You're thinking of Dolph Lundgren in Rocky IV. No, I'm thinking of Dr. Ho. Yeah, I'm getting an old video. When did Rocky fight Dr. Ho? Well, it was the undercard in one of the movies it was at the very beginning of the movie oh boy um uh well should we uh uh move on to a bit of a max fun donor business well uh here's the thing is this is maybe the sixth year we've done the max fun drive welcome back and we and this is usually the point where we would

talk like we would list all the things you can get and the reasons you should donate. But we suck at it. We've been told. No, it's evident when we do it. We'll do it later. But I wanted to tell a story of how your donations

have affected my life personally. Oh, yeah. How would that be? That would be great. Let's hear it. Yeah, let's hear it for the boy. So, okay, here's the thing. We've been doing this show for eight years.

Wow. And before that, I've been super into podcasting for like 10 years, maybe since like 2006. Super into podcasting for like 10 years. Maybe since like 2006, I've listened to a podcast maybe every day. Mm-hmm. With a few exceptions. Never on Sundays. Because that's the Lord's Day.

Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. And so we started the show in 2008. And then in 2010, I got a job at the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation making podcasts. It's pronounced Job. I got a Job on Sunday. Yeah. God was testing me with this Job.

And I was, a big part of my job was making podcasts for Radio 3. And then after a few years, the budget for podcasting dried up and I still had other things to do at CBC. But last year I got this opportunity to get a job making podcasts every day, full time for this new company. Three of my former co-workers from CBC and a fourth person started up this company making branded podcasts. And the show I was working on was called the Slack Variety Pack.

And it was fun. It was really great. I got to do a bunch of things. I got to tell stories in a fun, weird way. And everything seemed to be going great. And then about five months in, two of the partners from the company started being really shitty. And they forced out the other two partners are we partners

no you're you are an associate and uh the two guys who were forced out are the most talented creative like visionaries i know working in audio and this company never could have existed without them and they were just like kicked out the door. They were the reason that I left CBC. I wanted to work with these guys and then they were gone. And so it quickly became an unpleasant place to work. And then shortly thereafter, the two remaining partners in the company offered me a new contract and had a bunch of weird stuff in it.

One of the terms was a non-compete clause, and it basically meant that I couldn't make another podcast while I was working for their company. And I told them this, that it doesn't really work for me, and they said, oh no, we just don't want you making another branded podcast while you're here, or for a few years afterwards. But I showed it to a few experts and they all agreed that technically it really does mean that I can't make another podcast

and it's a bad contract and I shouldn't sign it. So I told this to the partners and I told them that they, I would like them to take out this clause or at least change it. And they were like, no. And so I had to quit because I wanted to keep making Stop Podcasting Yourself. Yeah. And it was super scary, and it still is super scary, but I knew I could do it because we get these donations. And, you know, it's not enough to live off of, but, I mean, Graham could maybe. Yeah. It's just me over there at Graham Co. Yeah. But, I mean, Graham could maybe.

Yeah. It's just me over there at Graham Co. Yeah. But, like, as a guy who has a child, I couldn't. But it's enough to make it worthwhile for me to work on this show a day or two a week and fill in the rest of my schedule with, like, freelance stuff. or two a week and fill in the rest of my schedule with like freelance stuff. So that's my story about how the Max Fund Drive donors have helped me specifically in the last couple of months. And if you want to help us as well, you head over to MaximumFund.org slash donate.

So yeah, that's all I'm going to say about the Max Fund Drive this time around. We'll go through your, we'll go through the possible. Your prizes. Your prizes and gifts in the next break. But now. Let's get to know you. Yeah, okay.

Yeah, what's going on? What's going on with me? Mm-hmm. I feel like I just talked about so much. Well, okay. Speaking of like gym stuff and like pool stuff,

every Saturday, I take my baby, Margo, and we go swimming. And the thing I've had to deal with recently is, like, a super awkward grown-up social interaction where another kid harms your kid. Oh, my. Oh, yeah. And you have to be like, excuse me. So we were in the pool. And, like, we had been in the pool for 30 seconds. And this ring just, like, flew out of nowhere

and hit Margo in the face. Yeah. And she did this thing where she looked around. Like, nothing of this, like, this has ever happened to her in her life. And she, like her lips started quivering. Uh oh. That thing that happens that you feel like is a total cliche, but babies know how to do it immediately. Uh, and so this other kid had thrown a ring just across the pool, a plastic ring and hit her in the face.

Right. And, uh, the kid's dad was around and he the dad came up and told the kid that the kid had to apologize to my baby yeah i had to sit there wow this all happened yeah man so i'm sitting there in this kiddie pool with a baby on my lap Man. So I'm sitting there in this kiddie pool with a baby on my lap. Not quite crying, but like not doing anything. Like I can't like try to distract her with stuff like, hey, look at this toy. Listen to this apology.

We had to sit there while the dad was like, now say you're sorry. And the kid, kid wouldn't do it. Yeah. Because he wasn't. because he wasn't because he wasn't yeah and he wouldn't he like he hadn't been wearing his goggles and he put on his goggles to like shield himself good move kid smart move and so the dad uh was like well if you're not gonna say you're sorry you have to leave and the kid stood there for a while. But like an eternity. With me and the dad not making eye contact.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. And the dad was older than me and was an actual grown-up. Not like me. But he wasn't an in-pool dad. He was a sitting next to the pool dad.

In clothes? In clothes, yeah. No, dad. He was a sitting next to the pool dad. In clothes? In clothes, yeah. Maybe in the paper. He was a nude dad. He was a clothed dad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But not, he's not in the pool. My least favorite kind.

And then he came to the edge of the pool and crouched down, waited for this little kid to apologize. I don't want to. I don't, no. And then the kid swims away. No, if you're going to swim, it's time to go. If you won't apologize, it's time to go. And so the kid turns around and like, you're saying it to a one-year-old who has no idea what's going on.

I'm trying not even to pay attention. Kid, just say it so we can all get out of here. Yeah, the sooner you do this, the sooner we can all get out of here Yeah The sooner you do this The sooner we can get on With our lives Man And the kid finally I'm sorry

Yeah I'm sorry Sorry y'all Stupid thing Shit Got a little triangle At you next time Yeah you're gonna get All the shapes

Oh boy In terms of dad things That is like worse than small talk yeah i i did never think about that but yeah of course you would have to get into that uh situation which happened a lot when uh my dad would he would coach soccer and there would always be some parent that was a lunatic. You know, their kid wasn't being put in enough or it was a bad call. And so they're yelling at a 13 year old referee. And I remember my dad, like, I remember my dad

having to like talk to these people. I'm like, no, don't, they're maniacs. Don't go over there. My kid's going gonna be a professional soccer player in north america and make tens of dollars they might get a sponsorship like canadian tire yeah or super socko juice boxes but yeah i i remember as a kid being like boy that seems uncomfortable that seems like an uncomfortable bit of business having to talk to bully parents not that that was this scenario no but like kid yeah but oh boy the whole thing is like oh i hope i hope that's the last of it i'm like i would totally be fine with

hey let's learn a different lesson today where Where it's like, sometimes the guy doesn't apologize and that's fine. He just swims away and it's cool. I just love that he put the goggles on. Not everybody owes you an apology. Oh, man. Yeah, but it is like, yeah, now I think about it. I'm like, what kind of weird parents't my parents have to talk to yeah your parents aren't weird no but they know that they'd had to deal with some some pretty weirdo parents

over the years because i know my friends some of my friends parents were like pretty intense pretty intense like i remember one of my friends house and his dad was like so into hunting he's like had guns everywhere in the house I remember my dad having to hold a conversation with him. I was like, I bet my dad's not enjoying this. I remember at a certain point, my parents would be like, hey, watch for the car when we come to pick you up from your

van. So we don't have to come in and... Make a small talk? Oh yeah, good call. It's like, I know kids aren't down. Like, kids don't wear watches. Like, you don't know I'll be here in 10 minutes? I'll be there in 10 minutes.

You know what our car looks like. So, God help me if I have to honk the horn. My parents used to, yeah. It was weird. My mom was always concerned that I didn't have any friends. Is she still? I don't know if she keeps her up at night. But I have four friends.

It's plenty. Yeah, I know. I know. It's more than a bounty. It's more than anybody needs. It's a burden. That's what it is. Yeah, just like at the end of It's a Wonderful Life.

I'm burdened by all these friends. Oh, boy. The richest guy in town. Shit. Does anybody in that movie, when he says, you're the richest guy in town, does anybody go, no, it's Mr. Potter. You guys forget about that guy?

Oh, man. He's so rich. Oh, and mean. I mean, you're rich in a way. Yeah. But, like, in petals rich in a way. Yeah. But like in petals. Oh, man. Yeah.

What do you guys do with your children? I built my own slip and slide. I just roll them down it. All Bradley. The worst are the homemade slip and slides. Yeah, they're pretty bad. Yeah. There's always a thousand rocks under those garbage bags. Yeah.

Yeah, but there's rocks under a regular slip and slide. I hate slip and slide. I hated it as a kid. But I had a really nice pool growing up. You did? Yeah. Oh, cool. In ground or above ground?

In ground. What? Wow. What happened? Did you have like a slurpee machine next to it? No, but we all always like we always had good snacks

and ice cream. But this was in Quebec. Yeah, so only in the summertime. But oh boy in the summertime when the weather is hot. I just tanned all summer

and swam all summer. When the weather is hot. You could do three-train at all times. I had a great tan and a hot little body because I was 14. There you go, everybody.

Alicia Tovins. Hot, hot 14-year-old body. That's weird. Yeah, sure. Hey, you know who didn't have a hot body at 14? Boys. Yeah, that's true. Not a lot.

I don't know if I've ever said this on the podcast, but you know, like when a woman teacher sleeps with a teenage student, how does that happen? How does a teenager finesse? There's always been finesses way into into the. She's a pedophile. Yes. But. Oh, OK. But still.

Still. Still sexy. No. Like how. What's going on? How. Because I remember teenage boys. So they couldn't talk their way into anything.

Let alone a teacher's vagina. That's what I'm saying. This is what I'm saying. Yeah, she's sick. Help me with my algebra. Well... Oh, I said the word bra. I'm getting an erection.

That's what it feels like, right? Oi, oi, oi? Oi, oi, oi. It's more like boy, like, right? Oy, oy, oy. Oy, oy, oy. It's more like boy, oy, oy. Oh, okay. Have you never had an erection? What? No.

You know what? There's still time. Yeah, so that's what's going on with me. Navigating the world. The weird world of parental apologies? Yeah. But is it not kind of

did any dog park stuff prepare you for this or do you not No dog owner has made their dog apologize to my dog. The dog puts on

some doggles. Rhyme Rory. I had a dog that was not welcome at the dog park. Like he was I was constantly apologizing for him. Because he was always humping all the fancy dogs. And he wasn't fancy at all.

Do you think they would have liked it if he was a fancy dog? And then he may have looked the other way. Because he was a mutt? He was a mutt. And he had a technique where he could hang on to the back part of the body and never let go. Of a person? Of a dog's butt. Oh, okay.

Oh, yeah. He became like the letter C. Where you would usually fall. Yeah, where you usually go, your nose goes right in. Oh, Lordy. Is it my turn? Yeah. This weekend.

This past weekend? This past weekend? This past weekend. I went up to a place called Williams Lake. How far away is that? It's an hour plane ride north. And it was a tiny little plane where you could feel every bump for a while. But a tiny little plane going for an hour might only go a few miles. Yeah, it's only a few miles out of town.

Was that a drone? Were you in a drone? Yeah, we bombed some farmhouses. Oh, no. Yeah, well, they're harboring terrorists. Okay. Well, we think so. We assume.

Yeah. It might have just been a wedding party. Yeah, or we might have been delivering packages. I wasn't paying attention. I was trying not to throw up the whole time. But I was the entertainment at the Hell's Angels rally. Yep. And by entertainment, they tied me to a pole and whipped rocks at me.

What would be your rate for that for that oh just the usual rate plus plus any hospital expenditures okay yeah and uh but yeah just my usual right and and hotel yeah oh absolutely that's standard what am i gonna go up to williams lake and just to hang out just wander around the town with rock face face? With your face full of rocks? Yeah. So I was the entertainment at the annual Chamber of Commerce Awards. And how did they know to book you? Yeah.

How did they get your number? Well, I advertised in the Williams Lake Penny Saver. Yeah, in the coffee bean. Yeah. And I, yeah, put a picture of me. And then it has a speech bubble that says, I love Williams Lake. It's just a template. I put different towns in it depending on where I'm advertising.

So this was the Chamber of Commerce Awards? Yeah. So the awards. It is awards season. Yeah, yeah, yeah. People think they end with the oscars but no it's the williams lake chamber of commerce is the official official who are you wearing uh the same thing i wore to work um and uh so when i got i got uh picked up usually you get

picked up by somebody they just take you to the hotel. That's the end of that transaction. But this guy took me on an hour-long tour of everything in Williams Lake. So he showed me the pulp mill, then the other pulp mill. What? Two pulps. Are they rival pulp mills? Has either of them burned down this week? It's only a matter of time before one of those

mills burns down. The ventilation is horrible. It gets rebuilt. And then he took me to a place that manufactures. This is the weirdest. I was like, what? I've never even heard of this. They manufacture out of sawdust, wooden pellets that they, apparently they cannot manufacture them fast enough because Sweden and Norway

use these pellets. In saunas? No, in their stoves. They heat their houses with them. Wow. And it's like way cheaper than gas or coal or anything else. these pellets in saunas no in their in their stoves they heat their houses with them wow and it's like way cheaper than gas or coal or anything else and uh they're like yeah they started up this mill and now there's like seven of them in the region i make little pellets yeah yeah yeah yeah you're a little rabbit um but uh yeah so an hour long tour of, uh, all the things in Williams Lake.

Okay. So all, all of them forestry product related. Yeah. I saw, yeah, I know he took me by the radio station he used to work at. Okay. Uh, he took. I want to know your life story. Oh, I got it.

And then we were driving down the street and he honks the horn at this lady. And I was like, why are you doing that? And it turns out it was his wife and she was secretly buying a chair. He was like, she never said she was coming downtown to buy a chair. Was she just walking down the street with a chair? Yeah, with a chair. Downtown? Yeah, on the main street.

She's walking down the street with a chair. So he was like really in a flap about this chair. And, uh, and, uh. What kind of chair? It was like a, like a. Wooden? Yeah, like a wooden chair. Everything in this town is made of wood.

Oh, absolutely. This thing's going to go up in a flash. And then, uh, so then he left me at the hotel and then I went to the. And then I opened up my room, and he was in it. And he was like, here's the bed that I can sleep my son on. So then I went to the awards, and on my way to the awards... Did Leo win? No, I can tell you who won, because I live-tweeted the entire awards.

But there was a store that was not a member of the Chamber of Commerce. Oh, indeed. Gone out of business. It was called Flavors and More and what they sold was scoops and soups.

So it was an ice cream slash soup store. Oh, man. Flavors and More. It could also be a vape shop. Oh, yeah. Yeah. But it specifically said it was sco cream slash soup store. Oh, man. Flavors and more. It could also be a vape shop. Oh, yeah, yeah, but it specifically said it was Scoops and Soups. Scoops and Soups is a good... Oh, man. It's a good motto, but a horrible combination of

products. Sure, because you need to buy two separate types of spoons. Ladle and scoop. Yeah, and also it's very hard to entice a person when they're set on one to go for the other. Like when somebody wants an ice cream, it's very hard to upsell them. Also, if you have a hot soup and then you have cold ice cream, your teeth. Yeah.

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. No, no relief. It was soups, scoops, and Sensodyne. Scoop, soups, and bread. And shoot. By Salt-N-Pepa. Or En Vogue,. And shoop. By Salt-N-Pepa. Or En Vogue, I forget. It's definitely Salt-N-Pepa.

Was En Vogue in the video? I don't know, maybe. It would be a good, like, fixin's bar. Because it would be, like, crackers and croutons and Jimmy Fills. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Because it would be like crackers and croutons and jimmy fills. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

And those like, you know, marshmallow cubes. What are those? Well, use context clues. Yeah, yeah. Okay. I don't think I've ever had them on an ice cream before. Well, you're allergic to marshmallow. That's true.

So I went to the hall where the awards were being celebrated. What kind of awards do they give out? Most improved. Most improved store? Business, yeah. Or most community involvement. The Newsmaker of the Year Award. Some award that was named after a guy who's dead.

Newsmaker of the Year Award could be bad, too. That's what I thought. Especially given that Alicia expects these mills to burn down yeah yeah oh yeah and the newsmaker of the year was

arsonist arsonist Jones and he's like what can I say I just I love what I do yeah hubba hubba

hubba hubba I got a boner for fire but here okay the two things that were my my favorite things of the evening were Hubba. Hubba. I got a boner for fire. But here, okay, the two things that were my favorite things of the evening were that they had a guy work on the sound during the awards. So there would be a great drum roll that had obviously been used during the Oscars. And then when they came up, they played this beautiful music like Oscar acceptance speech music. To play people off? No, while they walked up to the stage and they were like, this is the first award for Leon and Ted's automotive.

And then they went and made a speech. So that was great. Did anyone get played off for talking too long? Yeah, one guy started getting real racist. People were like keep going yeah uh no no that didn't happen and then uh the other thing was the guy who was my ride uh found me at the show and i was like hey how was that chair and he was like oh it was really hard oh yeah it's like an oak yeah and i said I said, well, you know, it'll be her chair.

And he was like, yeah. You thought that was so funny? So, yeah, I had quite a time. When did you perform in this series of events? Just before the awards were given out. Oh, okay. So they had just done a live auction where they had sold a diesel generator. Retail price, $1,200.

Okay, okay. Do you want to guess what it went for? Yeah, $1,200 is the retail. Now, in an auction, what's this to raise money for? I don't know. A diesel generator. Pay off this diesel generator? It's the town's diesel generator.

Did it go over or under the $1,200? Under. Okay. $350. $200. It350. $200. It went for $450. Oh, Alicia wins. So it was...

And was there a meal? There was a meal offered and a meal denied. While you were on stage, were they eating? No. They had finished. Everything had finished everything it had finished they that part of it they planned out perfectly well like everybody was was what was dinner i'm guessing soup and scoop that place was out of business oh yeah i miss

they could have bought all the inventory now soup and scoop catering um yeah it was just you know you're at these events it's always the same thing like there's like a roast beef and there's uh you know a chowder and uh a chocolate sundae you know it's always like a fish a red meat a white meat like a chicken and then like a thing of vegetables that nobody's touched a salad salad. A thing of rolls. Yeah, and how many rolls did you eat? None, I didn't eat anything there. Really?

No, I just went in. You're a roll man. I did the... The roll man. I love the roll brothers. What I got is a bag of rolls. And then I put them in my tum. Good.

And what happens next? Then I poop. Hopefully the next day. But I might have. Okay, I don't want to know where this is going to end. I was surprised you asked because I knew what came next. I thought maybe there was another course.

Yeah, so we did the, so we did it. Maybe I'll get invited back. Maybe I won't. After you slagged them on this show, I doubt it. No, I never did. You never slagged them. You're pro scoops. But I did stay for the awards, and I live tweeted them.

So who won? Jeannie? Yeah, there was a girl, there was a woman named Jillian. She won for something. That's a pretty name. The Newsmaker of the Year was like an autism society. Good.

Jenny McCarthy's autism society. And then there was an auto body shop. Autism body shop? Yeah, it was all very... Do you think the pulp mills caused it? Okay, hun. I'm not the one who kept bringing it up. Check the tape.

You check the tape. I'll check the tape. Oh, guys, I wasn't recording. Oh, no, the tape. So, did anyone lose out? Yeah, I mean, all the people who didn't win. Were there nominees? Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, it wasn't just... That's bad. It was all the... Yeah, they would read off the nominees, and then somebody would win. And there was one guy, wow, at the back. He was so... What was the venue? A gymnasium?

A casino? Elks Hall. Nice. Yeah, Elks Hall. Nice. Yeah. Elks Hall. Decorated to look like China. Oh. Because the theme was, say hello to China.

To my little friend, China. Oh, boy. Say hello to Dr. Ho. Bing. What? What was that? What was that first part? What?

What was that? What was that first part? As long as they don't say the second part, we're fine. Is that right? Check the tape. I think my rolls are ready. That was the alarm going off. Well, before we move on to overheards, how about we do a little bit of MaxFunBusiness?

Sure. Life can be fun. Don't get carried away. You gotta do the things you don't want to do to get through the day. You gotta shine your shoes. You gotta sweep the floor. You gotta clean your house. You gotta do some more. Take care of business.

Guys, it's time for a talk about the Max Fun Drive. Wee-yoo! Now, what we're talking about here is this show is supported by your donations. Mm-hmm. You guys are the engine, the drive, the industry of us. Yeah, we're just the chamber of us. Yeah, we're just the chamber of commerce. Yeah, we're empty vessels. Now, this is, let me say, before we even get to,

because, you know, when you become a monthly donor, that means that you get- When you become a mother. What? Then what? Then, well, things get weird. Oh, yeah, absolutely. For everyone, right? Yeah, have you seen the movie poster for Life As We Know It?

It's Josh Duhamel in his underwear drinking a beer while a baby also in his underwear is drinking a bottle, but also a diaper. I thought you said things were going to get weird. That seems normal. Yeah. Now, one of the main benefits of donating to MaxFun is that you feel good because you are supporting content that you like. So that's the future, man. And you're doing it now. So it's the present and the future.

It's not the past. Don't get any weird ideas. Yeah, it might be like if your donations could support like a sub-type time machine. Yeah, go on. But where, look. You know what I would do? I would go back in time, give Hitler, baby Hitler, a hug. You know?

You know what? You're doing what nobody ever thought to do. Yeah, exactly. Right? A lot of people, I'll go back and kill baby Hitler. Not me. No, no. The thing that you have to do is go back and get him into art school.

Yeah, but first, you got to give him enough confidence. And I'm the racist for almost saying a racist thing. Yeah, yeah. And now Dave's made out in the press to be this monster. Because of the one thing I said about the Chinese? Dr. Ho. I would go back in time and give baby David a hug. Oh, good. To give him the confidence to shower with other men.

Now, there's different levels that you can donate at. Yeah. You can donate. If you can only swing like a five or a month, that's cool. Do it, man. Look, if you've got $5 a month to give to Maximum Fun, and you like our show, boy, you're in for it.

At the $5 a month level, you get all of our bonus episodes, which date back to 2011. Wow, how many episodes is that? It's eight or nine. Maybe eight. We did three last year. Yeah, we've done a lot. And they're all real juicy.

They are all good. Yeah. The bonus ones are the good ones. Yeah. Yeah, I heard that. Now, there's different levels. There's $10 a month level, a $20 a month level, a $35 monthly level. And then, I mean, if you got crazy bank you won the powerball

you own a powerball oh sure yeah if you own a dragon ball zed or z as they say it's a regional thing um uh but it's very easy yeah to do this you go to maximumfund.org yeah you click on donate you uh give them your credit card information you tell them what maximum fun shows you listen to yeah and then the shows that you like all split your donation yeah and uh so here uh now you're like okay get to the things what do i get what i get besides the feeling of goodness. Not good enough. And knowing that Dave can quit a job where people are jerks to him. Yeah, right? People are trying to strong arm him. Yeah. They were

really, they really, didn't they tie you to a chair? They tied me to a train track. What? Yeah. This is the first I've heard of this. You were wearing that frilly dress. I was wearing a frilly dress and they had their mustaches all a twirl up. Yeah, yeah. They were, yeah.

And they were real. If I remember, you told me they were cackling. Were they cackling? Well, I didn't hear them cackling, but then a card came up that said, ha, ha, ha. So, like Dave said, at the $5 per month level, you get all the exclusive bonus content. Now, for the $10. If you want to donate to MaximumFun.org at $10 a month, and you are a new or upgrading donor.

You get all the exclusive bonus content, plus your choice of a Maximum Fun bandana. There's a photo of that. Oh, I could do a hair thing with that. Yeah. You could totally work in a factory with it. Yeah. You could hang it out your... If I had a dog, he could wear it?

Yes. Yeah. You could hang it out of your pocket if you are a crip. If you were painting, that's like a good thing to wear. You wear your hair up. Hair wrap. You could hang it out of your back pocket. Yeah.

Bruce Springsteen style. You could even like if you were sort of going for a rugged workwear look, you could have it be your pocket square in your... Ah, yeah. You're trying to relate to the blue-collar workers while you're out there stumping for votes. You could use it to dab your forehead. Ugh, imagine.

Could I use it? Stop it. Okay. Should I use it? Stop it. Okay. And now, if you are at the $20 a month level. What? Let me tell you.

How much is 20 times 12? That's 240. That's a deal. 240 bucks a year. That's nothing. That's nothing. To support the shows you listen to every week. Yeah, when I look at all my gym memberships, I've belonged to several different gyms.

Some have weights I like, others don't. But the other ones have towels that I like. Too light. You lift them up. No, I don't like. Yeah. You win. You know you don't win.

Well, you do. I mean, everybody wins during the Max Fun Drive. You get all of the things. You get the bandana. The bandana. The bandana. You get the bandana. You get all of the things. You get the bandana. The bandana. The bandana? You get the bandana. You get the bonus content.

You get the bandana. You get the bandana. You get the bandana. You get the bandana. You get the bandana. You get the bandana. You get the bandana. You get the bandana.

You get the bandana. You get the bandana. You get the bandana. You get the bandana. You get the bandana. You get the bandana. You get the bandana. You get the bandana.

You get the bandana. You get the bandana. And then you also get this MaxFun Adventure Necessities Pack. Whoa. Okay. What? Is this to do adventure things? Yeah, yeah.

You get a multi-tool. What's that? Like a Swiss Army knife type thing? Yeah, that's a knife. Knives. Does that have a MaxFun logo on it? Sure does. Okay. Can I see it? Yeah. You get that one. Oh, that? Like a Swiss Army knife type thing? Yeah, some knife. Knives. Does that have a MaxFun logo on it? Sure does. Okay.

Can I see it? Yeah, you get that one. Oh, that's fucking nice. Yeah, you get a hot chocolate packet. Hot chocolate. You get a paracord. A bracelet? Yeah, it's a bracelet that has like cord that you can use to survive.

What? Or you can use it just to stretch it out and like build your muscle. Yeah, I should do that instead of all my gym memberships. Yeah, sure. And then also camping toilet paper. You like that for your role story from earlier. Yeah, because of your obsession. Yeah, that's true.

Toilet obsession. Yeah, a little bit. And then if you want to be a donor at the $35 per month level, who molly? You only get one thing. You don't get everything that was previously mentioned, right? No, you get all the things. You get all the things that were previously mentioned.

A cool Max Fund vacuum thermos. Jesus, that's nice. You can vacuum up all your thermoses. Oh, no, that's a thermos vacuum. And then if you're one of the high rollers, if you've got $'re one of the high rollers if you got a hundred dollar uh to donate a month you get a membership in the inner circle which is the monthly culture club where boy george himself comes over to your house he karmas your chameleon he will karma any chameleon

you choose he will color your dreams red gold and green and green. But he... Red, gold, and green. Yeah, what's the other one? Do you really want to hurt me? Yeah, I'll tumble for you. But not the crying game. No. So, the Membership in the Inner Circle, that is where Maximum Fun hosts pick a book or a movie or a... album, maybe by Boy George's band. And every month you'll get something in the mail that we recommend. Yeah.

And yeah, it's for the whole year. So that's like a fun thing of the month club. And then if you got $200 per month, you get all of that. No. Whiz, bang,

pow. They'll give you all of that. And another thing. Yeah. Free registration for MaxFunCon 2017. Get out of here. Get out of here. You're making a mockery.

No, I won't. Me and Dr. Ho are here to stay. Now, like we say, if you're an existing donor, thank you very much for donating to the show. If you got a little extra scratch, consider being an upgrading donor. And we also have donors that are matching people's donations. Yeah, for every new donor that we get, some

people are going to chip in a few cents, and it all adds up, and it contributes to the organization as a whole. So what we would like you to do is head over to MaximumFun.org, click on Donate, select the membership level

that is right for you. If this is your first time, great. If you only have a few dollars a month spent, that's not a problem. It's all about supporting the things

that you love. And if you're in the position, it's been a rough, uh, financial year. The, the, all the podcasts are still free. Yeah. Yeah. Well, we intend to keep it. And if you don't want to upgrade, if you don't want to be a new member, there are other ways to participate in the max fund drive. This is week two of the max fund drive.

So it's, it's, it's, uh, this is the second week. It's over like after this week. That's it. Um, but there's other ways you can participate. You can, uh, take part in the MaxFun meetup day where, uh, all across North America and the world, there are meetups in different cities. Mm-hmm. Uh, members of the MaxFun community, uh, will be there. You can meet people in your city who like the same podcasts as you. Go to MaximumFun.org fun.org slash meetups.

And that will be on a Tuesday of this week, the 22nd at 7 PM all across the world. There are meetups people all around the world. Join hands. Max one meetup. Next one. Meetup. Beatbox. I I would if I

and then on top of that again if you are if you want to participate but don't have the money to upgrade or join you can be entered to win John Hodgman's favorite toaster the Breville toaster. Oh, cool.

The Breville toaster. Yeah. To do that, you need to tweet using the hashtag Toast2MaxFun and mention MaximumFun.org slash donate. And then a little quick statement in the remaining characters about what Maximum Fun means to you, and you'll be entered to win this toaster. Wow, what a good prize.

So donate now that it's on your mind. This is it. Do it. We'll never mention it again except for one more time. Yeah. And now, on to Overheard. Overheard. Overheard.

A segment in which we overhear the things. Huh? And then we report them back here to you, the listener. Now, we always like to start with the guest. All right. It's an overseen. Here we go. It happened today.

Driving back from work, I was in the passenger side of my best friend's ride. And. A scrub was trying to holler at you. This woman came out of, it was stop and go traffic, and a woman came out of a building. And I noticed that she had really beautiful fake breasts. Oh, yeah. They were a little bit big for her size. Yeah.

But well done. Well done. And she was rocking a pretty low cut V-neck. You don't talk that way. And so. You don't say rocking. Yeah. So she's rocking this like V-neck thing.

On her fake tattoo. And so I pointed out to my friend and co-worker, I was like, well, there, wow. Like those are definitely pretty fantastic. And just then my co-worker pointed out that a man had also taken note of this beautiful woman, beautiful body, and he had folded his arms and then looked at her cleavage approvingly and nodded.

Yeah. Nodded. Like a genie? Yeah. And then she didn't notice. She's looking at her phone. She didn't notice all of these creeps looking at her cleavage approvingly and nodded. Yeah. Nodded. Like a genie? Yeah. And then she didn't notice. She's looking at her phone. She didn't notice all of these creeps

looking at her. And then after she passed, he had a moment where he was... Oh, she passed? She passed by. So sorry. And after she passed by,

he could see he looked up, thought about it again, and then nodded and smiled again. Those were great. I'm going to tell people about them later. That was pretty great. Pretty great little theater of the mind.

Yeah. Are we past the heyday of fake boobs? Because I feel like the 90s were a real... Songs and fake boobs. Yeah, boobapalooza. Maybe they've gotten better? More believable? More natural

looking? Because in the weird ones that were in the 90s. I call it a heyday, but yeah. Yeah, it was the real, I don't know what the hell is going on. I don't know how it all worked. I would like to see the statistics on that.

If they've become less popular or they've held ground. Yeah. Is it like are the surgeons as busy as they were back then?

I wonder. I wonder if other things have happened. I think there's more butt stuff that happens. Oh, yeah. Well, in general. We do kind of live in

surgery and otherwise. Yeah, we do live in a butt-centric time. Yeah. We're definitely, this is the era of the butt man. Do you think they'll end doing the Bart man? Sure. Everybody back and forth and side to side.

I think the question is, have breasts become less popular since the 1990s? Yeah. Huh. I don't know. Do you think they will ever put nipples on a butt. Yeah. Huh. I don't know. Do you think they will ever put nipples on a butt? Yeah. Like the time they put that ear on the back of a mouse. Exactly.

Yeah, I totally think. That was awful. Both of my mom's friends went to a psychic that said that 2018 will be the years of nipples on the butt. Oh, wow. Tune in Tokyo. Uh-oh.

I would, if that was a thing that you could donate, I would donate my nipples. Okay. I don't need them. No, that's true, you don't. Yeah. But, you know, somebody somewhere during a fire might have had their nipples burned off. I can't imagine what kind of fire this is.

Definitely yourself. Yeah, yeah. Trying to burn off a hair or something. An accident. I mean, I would probably donate, I wouldn't donate my first two nipples,

but the other ones I'd definitely donate. Like the ones that grow in after? Yeah. Well, those are skin tags. Dave, skin tag woman,

stay away from me. Skin tag woman, mama let me be. Don't come knocking around my door. My skin tag's going to dig it no more. Get your Dr. Scholl skin tag remover. Pack your bags, you're a woman. I'm a woman. Yeah.

Dave, do you have an over? Oh, boy. No. Mine is just, was more confusing than anything. Now, I was driving with my daughter in the back seat, and she had fallen asleep. And so, I was just driving and driving and driving parents are causing global warming basically yeah oh man oh boy you should like with it when you take a wad of diapers use diaper it is like a heavy bag it's like so dense nothing having a

child is the worst thing you can do for the planet anyway so we were driving the hummer around um no i drive a sensible subaru uh but uh she had fallen asleep and so i'm just you know i'd taken the long way to wherever we were going and i drove past uh there's this underpass under the granville well not, not the Granville Bridge, the bridge from Granville Street that goes to the airport. Yeah. And there's an overpass. And underneath, there are just a bunch of RVs parked. It must be like, if you have an RV, it must be free to hang out there.

And cops won't hassle you or whatever. Yeah. And it's also a good way to get to know the other RV people. And it's, yeah, I've driven past it a number of times, and it's always there, and it always weirds me out. And on one of these RVs, I saw, I said it was a confusing overseen. I saw this sign that looked like it was just it was just someone had made it out of cardboard and written on it and it looked like you would it would say for sale yeah but it said

five hundred dollars reward i mean like well i'm interested i need context not Not me. I want that reward. I want that bounty. Yeah. I don't care what it's for. I just, you know, $500 reward. If you can find this RV. You can find my G-spot. Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

I mean, I'll try. $500, you say? I can't imagine you die trying Graham do you have an overheard? Yeah mine I was a participant In this overheard I'll allow it I was at the Denny's that was attached to the hotel

That I was staying in Williams Lake is a Denny's? And an A&W Why did you lead with that? Was that part of the tour? No, I mean, I discovered it myself. Was there a claw machine? I don't know.

I didn't look. I guess you didn't have a lot of time to wait for your table. No, no, no. I walked right in, sat right down. Daddy, let your mind roll on. I had, what were we singing about earlier? American Skin Tag No, Skin Tag Woman American Skin Tag

Stay away from me You got a beautiful voice Yeah You can really belt it out American Skin Tag Just a sec I got you in Tennessee You don't get them

somewhere well you notice them Graham and I are gonna this will be like the voice Graham and I are on swivel chairs we'll put our backs to you not singing now come on sing no

American skin tag you got the goods So I asked the After the show I went into the Denny's Because I just wanted a milkshake to go Didn't want to sit in the Denny's How do you drink so many milkshakes?

I get by So I asked the lady I was like oh can I order a milkshake to go and she must be very new because she went uh and then her co-worker went it's fine I don't want to get in trouble

Can you come back later? So that was when I Oh it's fine. Do you... Okay, okay, start over again. Have you ever, like, hit on a waiter or a waitress? I have not. But I used to think it was okay if, like, my friend was.

Right. And then you realize that, like, all these people are trying not to get fired every minute of their job totally like this girl at denny's who didn't know if a milkshake would get her fired yeah yeah exactly and uh this isn't the right yard i have been with uh people who have flirted with the wait staff and it's uncomfortable. I don't know what they think is going to happen. And yet, one time, a guy I know totally married his waitress. Really?

No. Oh, it was Nicolas Cage and it could happen to you? Well, I didn't see that far, but he did split the lottery with her. Yeah. Well, he almost didn't because his wife. Oh, he was married? Yeah, he was married to what's-her-name. I didn't because his uh his wife uh oh he was married yeah he was married to what's her name uh she was in white man can't jump rosie perez yes oh yeah rosie perez is the materialistic wife of nicholas cage okay are you reading a synopsis of imdb no i can't get I can't get my overheard thing. It's my thing is stuck. Okay, here we go.

I got overheard sent in by mail. Oh, by mail? Yeah. Pony Express? Yeah, if you want to send in an overheard to us, send it to Post Office Box 530306 Hollywood, California, 90210, with a self-addressed stamped envelope so that we can send you your recipes.

For a transcript of the show. Man, the transcript business has really gone down. Why would somebody want a transcript of the show? Hmm? Why would somebody want a transcript of the show? Hmm? Why would somebody want a transcript of the show? Of a TV show? Yeah.

I don't know, because they're lunatics. Yeah, it's weird. They want to do a play of the Donahue episode. Oh, yeah, it would be like a Donahue. I can't remember. It would be like a full house. When I was a kid, I remember wanting to order one so bad. You're obsessed with TV, though.

Yeah. Yeah. Mom, can I order a transcript, I remember wanting to order one so bad. You were obsessed with TV, though. Yeah. Yeah. Mom, can I order a transcript? Yes. Yes. Yeah. Yes, it's Christmas. Now, we have overheards that were sent in to us from around the world.

If you want to send one in to us, send it in to spy at maximumfun.org. And this first one comes from Evan P. in Los Angeles. I'm in a Nordstrom rack, which is an outlet. Yeah, it's where you get breast implants. When a couple browsing nearby is discussing finding a specific shirt. Suddenly, their five-year-old son comes around the corner wearing camo pants and sunglasses, holding up a Spider-Man shirt, and says very loudly, What about this shit, Daddy? Are you sure that wasn't a typo?

I'm not sure, but that's how it's printed. And it made me laugh. What about this shit, Daddy? Daddy. What was the first, what age were you when you first swore at your parents? I remember I had eye surgery and I was waking up from it, from the anesthesia. Yeah. And I don't really remember it, but my mom said when I was in the children's hospital.

How old were you? 12. Okay. And I was like the children's hospital. How old were you? 12. Okay. And I was like, shit. Fuck. And I was in a hospital with children. And they didn't know that I knew any swear words. So that was the first time.

Wow. Wow. I remember I once, what was the line? It was a line from like vacation. And someone tells him to like get the fuck out of here or something yeah and everyone in the room laughed yeah uh that was watching the movie and i ran into the kitchen to tell my dad dad the guy in the movie said i didn't know it was a swear word but like it was so funny and he it was like that thing where he just pretended he didn't hear me.

I haven't trained for this moment yet, so I don't want to encourage him or I want you to go apologize to the movie Vacation. This next one comes from Spencer. Your first swears? I can't remember. I can't remember the first

one. You need therapy. Yeah, I need to unlock it. To unlock your swears. To can't remember. I can't remember the first one. You need therapy. Yeah, I need to unlock it. To unlock your swears. To go see my lady. Yeah. Yeah, touch my swear spot. You guys know what I'm talking about. This one comes from Spencer in New Hampshire.

I was sitting in a hockey rink lobby when I heard a kid say excitedly so this is referring to a vending machine in the lobby it's giving me nickels it's giving me nickels and then the kid said in sheer awe

that's I've never seen this before these are useless I'd be so pissed off if a vending machine gave me all nickels. Parking meters won't even take them. Yeah.

But just like if it was just like $2 and change. But if it was giving me nipples. Then I could donate them. I would keep my own. Yeah. To locks for love. I'm trying to think of it. Yeah.

Yeah. what's a what's a word for youth what's a word for nipples nipples for nerds so the nerds forget it they can practice on practice what I don't know I don't think any They can practice on that. Practice what?

I don't know. I don't think any girl who's made out with a nerd was ever like, you had really good nipple technique. Yeah. Okay. This last one comes from Barry from Champaign, Illinois. Ooh. Ooh. Ah.

I was going through some old bits of scrap lumber in my garage, and I came across a piece that had a message that I must have written to myself years ago. I've since forgotten what the context was. There was a large red X through two of the holes, indicating that I shouldn't use them. And then the third hole had an arrow pointing at it with a handwritten message saying, this one, baby. What's he using these holes in wood for? I don't know. He doesn't know.

It's memento. He'll slowly unlock as he goes back in time. Yeah, sure. That's probably his first homemade skin tag remover. He doesn't know. It's memento. You slowly unlock as he goes back in time. Yeah, sure. That's probably his first homemade skin tag remover. What is a homemade skin tag remover? A pair of scissors? It's like, well, you put the wood thing on it, and then you swip it.

Then you swip it? You swip it. Who put the wood in the wood thing thing, then you put the thing and you Swippage. Here's the thing, guys. In addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us, send us a self-addressed stamped envelope.

Read us a transcript of some kind of thing. And the thing in the script. Baby! Swip it! Do you know? Skin tag removal. You call us. It's 206 339 8328.

You leave us a message. It's an overheard. Here's what they sound like. Let's get busy. Hi, guys. Hi. My name is Robin. I'm calling from Norfolk, Virginia with an overheard. I was in TJ Maxx, and there was an announcement from the loudspeaker.

Will the customer who was looking for a child please return to the customer service desk. That's all. Yeah. We haven't found it, but we got some promising leads. But like, if you go to the customer service desk and say your child is missing, do you not then stay there?

Let me know if you find them, but otherwise. Also, what is TJ Maxx? Ladies? Ladies clothes? I think it's like a winner's. Yeah. Oh, okay.

It's like a Nordstrom Rex. Right. It's like a down market Nordstrom Rex. So you'll find one pair of really nice underwear. Yeah. And then a bunch of decorative. Underwear. Yeah.

Decorative underwear that you used to make bunting. Here's your next phone call. Hi, Dave and Graham and possible guests. I was talking to my four-year-old daughter about how women make babies. And she was quiet for a while afterwards. She said, so, women make babies? And I said, yes. says, so, women make babies?

And I said, yes. And then she said, oh, and men make mistakes. Men what? Make mistakes? It took a long time for me to stop laughing. She's like a meme. Baby meme.

Holy cow. What do you think that? Did she hear something? Well, I know that God don't make no trash. That's true. So, yeah, men make mistakes. What do men make? Jizz. Yeah.

Oh, guys, come on. We also make a lot of noises when we get up off the couch. Oof. Oof. Maroon. Yeah. Oof. My hindquarters. Oh, yeah, my haunches. Oh. My haunches. Maroon. Yeah. Oof. My hindquarters.

Oh, yeah. My haunches. Oh, my haunches. My ham hock. I started watching this Netflix documentary about the Ford Mustang. Oh, yeah. And I stopped watching when they referred to the back part as the haunches. No, this is gross.

You guys are going to have sex with this car. Is that when you made all those sex with the car tweets? No, that was just one time. That was years ago. Wow, yeah. I do. Yesterday we were watching

the local newscast and there was a lady on that was like a horse Yeah Fanatic and we were like Something's wrong Something's weird She's been into horses her whole life Yeah and she's like

She's like Smell this horse And I was like Wow Yeah that's weird right Yeah I mean And she kept accidentally falling down in her face Went in the horse's butt

Okay I'm leaving It's fine we only have one phone call left falling down in her face, went in the horse's butt. Okay, I'm leaving. It's fine. We only have one phone call left. It's the final overheard of MaxFunCon 2016. MaxFunDrive. Here we go. Hi, Dave, Graham, and guests. This is Emily from Tampa with an overheard.

I was on the Paris Metro a while ago, and I know just enough French to sometimes understand what people are saying. So I was next to these two guys, and the one guy asked the other if he was familiar with a particular song. And so the sentence that I heard was, I know just enough French to make out the... I shot the sheriff. Yeah. Real good. I know just enough French. To make out the, I don't know what song they were talking about, but it was a song.

I wish I could have. Is there an app where you can like Shazam? Someone being French? Well, a different language and then listen back and it translates? No. Don't cut that out. We got an app to make. Yeah.

That's a good app. Good app, guys. Yeah. Good app, yeah. Speaking of Bob Marley. You know what? Bob Marley. Bob Marley.

Connets-tu les choses de Bob Marley? Robert. De Robert Marley. Et les whalers. Bang. Robert Marley. And the Wailers. Bang. He's a Wail. You know how when I play tennis, when it's one love, I always say to myself, one love, one love, Bob Marley on the court.

Yeah, yeah. Here are the other things I started saying. Oh, good. When I play tennis. If at any point it becomes 40 love, go 40 love that's fun and then uh if it's uh ever uh two two i say desmond two two so that's not as much fun guys yeah i think that brings us to the end of the episode yeah let's have one more check-in on the max fun drive this is your last max fun drive update of the year. Yeah.

So, as we said before, if at all you're thinking of donating, go right now to MaximumFun.org. Click on Donate. Find the level that's right for you. Insert credit card information. Yeah. My credit card information? Yeah, yeah. Alicia Tovan's

credit card information. Yeah, what you want to do is you want to pretend to be an old lady and you call up and scam her wait no I'm like you I'm from the future

but I need a little bit of cash to get off the ground but yeah if you uh anything at any level uh we do encourage uh the monthly uh donation yeah over the the lump sum style and um yeah uh thank you so much to those people who've donated and uh to those that are going to donate yeah Yeah, it really helps us make the show. I've said in general, it sort of helps us buy equipment and pay for cab rides for our guests.

Yeah, we get to pay them a little stipend. But specifically, it really helped me out this year. Yeah, and I think that that story was great. And that's a great example of you, the listener, contributing to something that you believe in. And I think that's very empowering as a consumer. Yeah. It's the future, guys. Yeah.

So thank you very much for listening. Alicia, thank you very much for being our guest. It's always a pleasure. Where can people find you online? I know the Retail Nightmares podcast. RetailNightmares.com. iTunes, Retail Nightmares. Mm-hmm.

At Twitter, Alicia A. Tobin. Yep. Those are good places to find me. Yeah. For the moment, yeah. And once a month at a place called Hot Art Wet City, you do a show called Come Draw With Me. That's right.

The next, do you know when the one in April is? Even though I have it booked, I've forgotten. Okay. It's on a Friday, though. It's on one of the Fridays. Yeah. Keep it tuned to Alicia A. Tobin, at Alicia A. Tobin. And thank you again for donating, for joining us for Max Fun Drive.

If you like the show, do tell your friends. Oh, head over to MaximumFun.org and check out the recap blog of the things we talked about on this week's episode. Pictures and videos of the things we talked about. I'll have tons of pictures of skin tags. Yeah, American skin tag.

American skin tag! I will not do that. But, you know, we'll have a video of Dr. Ho. Yeah. Yeah. The crazy neck pillow thing. Sure. Sounds like a bad idea. We'll see. We'll see what the courts have to say.

Yeah, we'll have a picture of ghosts. Oh! Remember when this was a ghost show for half of it? Yeah, yeah. And, yeah, if you do like the show, tell your friends to come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported.