Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 433

Episode Date: July 4, 2016

No guest this week as we talk Father's Day, French food, and hula hooping.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 433 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who fought Vigo, the master of evil. Well he tried to battle my boys. And that's illegal.

That breaks the criminal code. Yeah, that goes against many UN sanctions, not sanctions. What are the things that you write? It's like, yeah. Treaties. Yeah. The treaties were to not battle my boys. Treaties between ghosts and, uh, humans. Um, welcome to the show.

Hi, thanks. It's not a welcome. It's my home. Welcome to the show. Oh, thank you. This is now like, I guess we had a sort of an unwritten agreement, an unwritten treaty. Yeah. Where we would, every 10 episodes or so, have an episode with no guest. Yeah.

And we just had so many guests. There's just been people in town, people we wanted to catch up with. There's been so much hustle and bustle. Mm-hmm. Hubbub and bubub. Usually there's not this much hustle and bustle. Mm-hmm. Hubbub and bubub. Usually there's not this much hustle and bustle until Christmas time.

That's when everybody's hustling and bustling. Oh, sure, yeah. Well, that one from American Thanksgiving to American Christmas. Oh, boy. There's parades

and football. So much bustle. Turkeys. Yeah. Don't get the two confused. Don't stuff a football and throw a turkey. Last minute gifts where you're in a store

and you faint because you see Santa shopping in the same store it happens every year but it's been 33 episodes we haven't done a guest list episode since episode 4 hundo holy cow

welcome to both of us listeners sit back, enjoy it. This is just Graham and me catching up. Do you want to get to know us? Oh, yeah.

Get to know us. We were talking, but immediately before we started, that there's a new Ghostbusters song in the universe featuring Fall Out Boy. Is it featuring Fall Out Boy?

No, no, Fall Out Boy featuring Missy Mystery. I think there should be a song that's just featuring people. And so people wander into the studio. Nobody knows. That's kind of what We Are the World was. It was kind of featuring, featuring, featuring. Yeah, but I guess they knew going in. It wasn't just like, hey, we need a guest verse on this song.

Whose song? We don't know yet. But here's a beat. I have no problem believing that that group of people showed up and there was no song. The We Are The World people? Yeah. Because that song's not so good that you couldn't have written it live. You improvised it?

Yeah. You know, know like it's not but the thing is they were all singing it together how could they all oh yeah like i think they would have had to show up in the morning do a lot of the improvising and then lay down the tracks in the afternoon oh and then the evening cocaine for everyone i was thinking about how in the 1980s there were, um, like more characters, like more people that you didn't know. Is this a put on or is this the real thing? Especially as a kid growing up,

I was very confused. Like, give me an example. Who, who is Mr. T? Oh, sure.

Is Mr. T a character from a movie or is he a guy? Is he a real guy? Peewee Herman. Pee Wee Herman. Pee Wee Herman. Yeah. Maxwell Headroom. Yeah.

And like guys like Boy George was also kind of. Hulk Hogan. Yeah, that's true. There was kind of more fictional characters walking around. Oh, who else? They're like even Cyndi Lauper. Well, when I was a kid, the fact that you could watch Hollywood Squares and it would be all these humans and then Alf was on it was very unusual. Or, you know, you'd watch, I don't know, like the Tonight Show and Kermit the Frog would be on.

And the conceit is everybody's treating this puppet like it's a human. And they're all fucking. But everybody seems like fine with yeah do you know what i mean like everyone just you got a brief talk to talking to before the cameras are rolling just treat them like a human yeah that's the only way this works if you treat it weird it's gonna be weird the whole time and was it uh peewee herman masturbating in a movie theater that ended that i wonder i mean it certainly would have been the beginning of it because that's all the headlines were they weren't

paul rubens no yeah that's like it was like that was the that they didn't separate him there but then the other like with uh um the muets thing, they still do that. Like the Muppets will show up. They'll masturbate in theaters. But do you remember like one time that Beavis and Butthead like presented an award on? Yeah. And you're just like, like, what if you had to be the person who handed it off to this cartoon and then had to you know like pick it what do you mean what if like that's a great honor like you look at the the lineup oh you're on right before

but they weren't i thought they'd come out mascot costumes like foam rubber i didn't think they'd try it that really takes the edge off of an edgy character once they've been mascot oh yeah like when the kids are coming up and hugging you yeah wouldn't that because and you can't like change your smile isn't there you know there's uh there's disneyland and then there's a kind of Universal Studios owns certain properties. So if you go to their theme park, like you'll see Spider-Man or Bugs Bunny or Doc Brown. Sure. And that it's just kind of this weird mishmash of characters.

So that it feels like that's where you would run into like a mascot Beavis and Butthead. Yeah. Oh, yeah, definitely. Like they just, oh, we have this property so you can also meet them. Cool. Can we have, because I know at Disneyland there's like a princess breakfast where you can have. Oh, yeah. You can pay a little extra and your kids get to have, you know, breakfast with Ariel.

She's like, try the crab legs. Try the crab legs. Belle from Beauty and the Beast is horrified that you're using dishes and plates. My friends. Oh, I thought she was going to be horrified that you're eating like a roast. That was my lover. He's not so bad. All the Disney princesses are horrified for different reasons and then it's that's the whole thing is how could you do that that's my yeah sure mulan is horrified that you're

eating a dragon yeah i guess so eating her friend who's a dragon uh who else is there? There's Pocahontas. Sure. You're not eating every part of the buffalo. That kind of thing. Is it all in the princess breakfast? It's all human people dressed up. There's no mascots. There's no foam rubber. There's no foam rubber. There's no the Lion King's wife.

The Lion Queen. She isn't there, too. Oh, is she a princess? Oh, yeah, I guess she's not a princess. Yeah, the lion. Simba's sister is a princess. I never saw this movie. But, no, I think it's all humanoids. Hum never saw this movie. But no,

I think it's all humanoids. Humanoid princess brunch. I would want to go, if I was a little girl, I would want to go to a villain's brunch. So it would be Ursula and it would be Jafar. And then No Heart

from the Care Bears. Butthead from buison but yeah yeah mr strickland from back to the future yeah principal yeah is he the bad guy in the movie not biff yeah you're right biff's the bad guy yeah but strickland was no good guy well he was he's trying to get the most out of the McFly's. They're slacking. That's true. I guess that's true. He wasn't a bad guy.

Hmm. Yeah, he pulled a gun on Marty in the sequel. Did he invent the term slacker? Uh... Because it was a big 90s term, but he was using it in the 50s. Yeah, I guess he did invent it. Thank you. Also, I was watching an old episode

of Seinfeld, and in one of his stand-up bits, he was talking about how he wasn't a foodie. And I didn't know the word foodie went that far back. Oh, wow. I didn't know that either. This is a weird thing. I was at my parents' house, and they have a really neato

mosquito cable package. Okay. Neato mosquito, are we saying yeah did you who taught you that a bunch of kids cool kids though um and uh toledo neato mosquito so i was watching some old episodes of seinfeld and i always was operating you don't need a great cable package for that. But I was always operating under the assumption that, you know, like, Seinfeld would stand the test of time. Mm-hmm. And a lot of the. Seinfeld. A lot of the episodes I watched, they're very dated.

And I bet if you watched it with a teenager, they'd be like, why is this plot? What is this? Oh, sure. Because there was an episode where jerry has to endorse a bunch of checks yeah oh of course and and and uh everything could be solved now with a text yeah and you know there's an episode where george has to take a picture to have him airbrushed out of a picture and i'm like boy i i don't even know if then that was still a thing i i think you could have done it on computers yourself.

Yeah, use computer. Yeah, no, of course. And there's always like hot products that growing up in Canada, like I don't, we didn't have a Drake's coffee cake. Oh, yeah. I always thought that was fictional. You just sort of had to take their word for it. Like Fentimans was another one that they. Oh, Entimans. Entim oh intimate intimates yeah which i'd never heard of it's at the end of the aisle by yeah some kind of cake yeah it's from the episode where they they buy the like the royal wedding

cake yeah yeah the edward the eighth cake but it's anyways it was funny because, yeah, there's just all these references that you're like, no, it's very of a time. Like, it's not, yeah, it would be a very different show with phones. Nobody in that show had a cell phone. It's all cordless house phones. And gigantic cordless. And some corded. Some with long cords. Yeah, yeah.

All kinds of phones. They're more fun to watch people talk on than... The corded ones are... Yeah, like a full apparatus. How much fun do you get watching people talk on a phone? Seven out of ten. Really? Yeah.

What's a six? You know, when a mascot shows up playing a character. And that is less fun for you than seeing someone talk on a corded phone. Yeah. What's eight? Oh. When you're watching like a Law and Order and then the famous person is right at the beginning and you're like, they did it. Or they're a red herring.

Oh, sometimes. Yeah. Especially if it's like Carol Burnett because she's a literal red herring. And she also still tugs on her earlobe. Every time she commits a murder,

it's her tell when she's doing murder poker. You see, she's got a tell every time she does a murder. She tugs on her earlobe. That's how I know

she's done a murder. Well, you're the best detective we have. Thanks. Detective poker. He's just looking for tells that's the thing like i learned how to read people on the poker circuit i can't read this suspect she's wearing sunglasses this suspect's got a hoodie on i don't know what to do this suspect's

getting a massage during the interrogation remember that guy oh didn't we talk about him yeah okay i don't remember a lot of what we talk about he was a guy on the poker circuit that had a lady massaging him the whole time that seems unfair uh yeah super unfair because i don't i can't vouch for this poker lady yeah well what do you mean i mean massage lady i just mean like as having an extra set of eyes that's what i mean it's like i i don't know that she's not a although i guess everyone not people aren't holding their cards up like i would yeah fanning yourself they have tiny cameras in the table oh what a dumb television sport yeah and that's that's pretty much that's gone away like the the the peak

poker has its platform i guess it's subsided yeah but that'll be a weird time to look back on and go yeah that was the thing people watch on sports networks yeah and it was like not a i think if you turned on a sports network right now, it would be on. Like it's a good midday. It's a good day. Yeah. Yeah. It's good filler.

But even at its zenith, it was... You were just watching people pass time. And I also don't know... And anytime I watched it, not that I ever did, but anytime I flipped past it, I didn't know, is this a live event? Or are you showing, are you showing something from the championships earlier this year? What, what are,

what am I seeing? Yeah, that's true. There's no lead up to it. Are, I guess someone must be watching it. I guess poker fans are. Yeah. Yeah.

Poker stars. Sure. Um, I know. Is it, if liquor is in the front, uh, we're poker. Wherever you like.

Okay. Yeah. I wonder what is going on now that's not a televised thing that will become a televised sensation. Because poker's been around for hundreds of years. And so finally it had its big moment in the sun how far back do you think poker goes well i know for sure it goes back to the wild west and i'm assuming that it goes back to i think it goes back to england i don't think it was invented in america oh because it's got royal people on it on the car yeah yeah if it was invented in america it would have been senators yeah governors oh sure yeah local judges and

dog catchers so like you know it took a long time for so i'm wondering what's a hobby that people are doing now that might be well there's like twitch is the what's twitch twitch is the thing where you go on and you watch people play video games oh yeah yeah i guess that's kind of that's so that'll be on uh sports that would really be i mean stretching the definition of sports to its absolute limit yeah i mean it's been stretched. Yeah, I guess poker. These poker stars are not moving. No. They're trying not to move.

It is technically the only sport where a 20-year-old could compete against an 80-year-old. Well, pool. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Darts. Darts. Yeah. Darts they would show on TV, too.

But that, to me like it's big somewhere else and then like it's huge in england like people love watching darts but poker kind of like i don't remember ever there being a time when people were like let's go watch a poker game what um well i don't remember there a time when people wanted to watch darts. But what is the difference between snooker and pool? One, I don't know. You have to wear that fancy band around your arm. Oh, yeah, arm guarders. Yeah, so I figure that's snooker.

And I know that, yeah. Pool, usually you wear a fedora. With pool, you got trouble. Yeah, yeah. With pool. Right here in River City. Here's what you do with pool. The first couple shots you make, you're like, oh, I'm not very good at this.

And then you say to your competitor, let's make this interesting. Oh, right. You lose a couple games. Yeah. Not a couple shots. No, yeah. A couple games. And then.

You go like $50 a ball, and then Bad to the Bone starts playing. And then someone plays Do the Hustle. Because you're a hustler. And you start reading Hustler magazine. And you're like like there's a lot more urine in this than i remember was there i don't know because hustler was larry flint right yeah so was there a scene in the people versus larry flint where he's like people want to see urine. I don't know. And his lawyer was like, ah, Larry. We can't.

It's never been done before. We don't even know if it'll photograph. You're crazy. But you might also be a genius. Stop putting that in every movie. Yeah, so I think that's the difference. I feel like pool is more of the street. Snooker is more of the aristocracy. So what's going on with you, Dave?

Well, we haven't recorded it in a couple weeks. You were out of town for a while. Yeah. But yeah, this past weekend. I was on a snooker tour. Snooker? Snooker. Do you even know her? Ha ha.

Ha ha. Ha ha. Ha ha. Ha ha. This past weekend, I celebrated my second Father's Day. Yeah. Hold your applause until the end. You did the opposite.

Oh, sorry. Hold your applause until all the fathers have been acknowledged. Like when they do that. Oh, yeah. At deduations. I'm pretty good. Yeah, thanks. So, yeah, we went and did kids stuff.

It was basically like any other day. So what did you get? Cause I feel like one of the perks of, um, being a dad of a very young child is that your significant other makes a present and presents it as if the kid made it. Cause that to me is a lot of fun. Well, uh, my present was a Ferrari Testarossa. Okay. And I was like, no kid can make that. But she was working on it.

She did make the bow. Yeah. But she was, every time I come over, she's got grease on her hands. And I'm like, you've been working on some kind of automobile? And she's like, two. She knows a few numbers. So. Yeah. She knows that it's red she's been doing this thing lately where uh she's not good at negotiating uh-huh and abby but she knows like she can her counting is a hit and miss yeah but uh apparently like what's her what's her

negotiating mistake is she always comes in too high well no abby will be like okay we're gonna go in two minutes and margo will say one i'm thinking of a number uh so yeah we uh father's day happened to be car Free Day here in Vancouver. Okay. Bunch of car-free dads. Yeah, on a few usually busy streets with cars. They were incredibly busy with walkers. And they're like, this is what it's going to be like if there's an apocalypse.

So get used to it. Yeah, it's all going to be sidewalk sales. It probably will be a lot of sidewalk sales. It's all going to be sidewalk sales. It probably will be a lot of sidewalk sales. I don't think after, you know, some, you know, nuclear bomb goes off that people are going to want to start a brick and mortar business. They're going to want to be mobile and they're going to offer everything. But you'll want the shelter of a brick and mortar. Mm-hmm. Especially when the acid rain comes.

Yeah. Yeah. And whatever other. uh whatever other yeah the mutants yeah uh yeah some sort of weird fleshy hurricane that's my boxing name dave the weird fleshy hurricane shumka i'm a graham not in the face claire that's also my sex name that's why i could never be a hustler and my uh big fleshy hurricane oh my boy um so so we went to main street okay and closed off to traffic But Wall to wall With people And it's It's kind of a mix

Right It's people All races Everyone's welcome It's people who own Stores On Main Street Have set up little

Little tents Tents Yep And then also Some Musicians Yeah there were Every block

I'd say there was A stage Okay There was a Barbershop quartet at one point. That's kind of fun. They did the song from the Simpsons. Oh, Baby on Board? Mm-hmm.

Nice. Perfect on Father's Day. Oh, yeah. Didn't even consider it. There were food trucks with enormous lineups that I did not get in. Yeah. People, like, what was the longest line? The taco truck.

Taco. Perfect. Perfect eating and walking food. Mm-hmm. I would imagine the stew truck would not be as popular. The stew hose? The pudding pump? Yeah, you bring your own container.

If you don't have one, they'll line your hands with wax paper and then just pour stew into it. Where did where did we see oh there's a new restaurant that's gonna open that had sandwiches soups and stews oh yeah and we were making fun of it because who wants that like who uh it gets there at uh nine o'clock in the morning is like, yeah, you know, I got enough time for a stew. Yeah. Kids, since you won your t-ball game, we're all going for stew. Yay! I'm gonna get chunky beef! Yeah, so

we just walked up and down the street. We didn't get that far because a toy store had a little setup with you know... Oh, like a billion kind of toys going? Or just like... What do they call them?

They're like boxes full of lentils. And you can like dig through, you know... Oh! It's like a texture table. You feel all the things. Oh, okay. And then there's... It's like a sandbox, but with, you know, dried beans.

And there's something in it to find? No, you know there's you know you're just digging shovels and and trucks and stuff huh and uh that ate up a lot of lentils huh all right and then we it's it was also we brought sounds sounds like the beginning of a stew that's true i just remember as a kid playing with lentils. And then the next thing I knew, I woke up and I wanted to make a stew-staurant. Um, and,

stew-staurant. And we went, we brought the dog and a stroller, and so it was just impossible to get anywhere. Oh, yeah, but that's, I feel like everybody I see on car free days in a similar kind of nobody's moving because they can't they just can't yeah there's either people in front of them that can't move there's no sort of if anything it's a good ad for cars it's true you

can just mow everyone down um there's no nobody knows what the rules are like you know you don't stay on the right side or the left side you can just stop in the middle of the street and make everyone go around you yeah that i remember that in particular at the calgary stampede every year was because you'd walk along these roads that uh were where the midway was and like where the food carts were and stuff. And it was, yeah, it was like, well, we all do the right and left thing for everything else. But then as soon as you got on a midway, it was just like, it's just Mad Max rules. Everybody went everywhere. We do it for driving.

I don't know that necessarily everyone does it on the sidewalks. Maybe not sidewalks, but I think like when i'm thinking of like going upstairs or you know like people generally know to like walk if you're walking up here on the right if you're walking down you're on the left i guess i mean that's been my experience at like train stations and stuff people kind of know the general vibe there's's other rules that I, that I, I do. I'm not sure apply everywhere.

Like when you're on the highway, you're supposed to stay in the left lane. If you're faster than the other traffic and right. If you're slower than that's right. Yeah. But does that apply to the streets as well? I, I will act like it does.

Like you're blocking me. Like I, I'm going to turn in a block. I, when I'm walking on a sidewalk, I will always pass if I'm walking on the left. I never pass on the right. Because usually people are pretty, they're kind of hugging whatever, they're under an awning or something.

So you can't kind of get, you can't get around them on the right. So I do the thing where I, anytime I pass anyone, I tap them on the other shoulder so they look the wrong way. Mm-hmm. And I get a little giggle. Yeah, and then I wear a, like, it's like a bumper sticker, but it's a patch on my butt. Mm-hmm. That says, like, I fucked your wife. And everyone takes it personally.

Yeah, yeah. And I'm like, no, I fucked everybody's wife. Yeah. Relax. It's what I do. And I did, I think maybe for the first time, we've done it sort of like in fits and starts, but I walked around like a great distance with a baby on my shoulder. Oh, yeah.

This is fun. Mm-hmm. This is, that is primo dad situation. Yeah. Primo dad. It was a real Father's Day milestone. Dude, because I always see dads doing it. I rarely see mothers doing it.

I assume that a mother could if she wanted to. Of course she could. Dads want to be cool. It's a cool. Yeah. Like Abby always points out things that are such a dad thing. Yeah. Of like a dad pushing a stroller kind of with one hand and not really looking.

Whereas moms are always two hands, always right in front of them. Yeah. Hands are ten and two. Kind of like willy nilly, whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Especially country singer willy nilly. Oh boy.

So many hits. I know. And yet I can't think of any. Yeah. I can think of some Willie Nelson ones. Yeah. Yeah. But willy nilly, he's saying, you know, get that Bin Laden.

That was one of his hits. Then he went through a really crazy phase where he was pro-Bin Laden. And then he was like, sorry about that last album. What's his next release? Yeah. He did a lot of peyote. So he's like a modern guy. I was thinking he was like an old-timey guy.

Or did he just prophesize Bin Laden? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's country versions Nostradamus. Yeah, his albums covers were all him looking at a crystal ball. And inside the crystal ball are the Twin Towers burning. Yeah, or Tupac. Who hadn't even been born yet. Yeah, I'm prophesizing the death of Tupac.

Oh, yeah. Who's Tupac. Oh, yeah. Who's Tupac? You'll see. He always just said, you'll see. He'll change everything. I like the idea that Nostradamus was a guy that even people in his time were like, we put up with him. But we don't think that he's right. Was he related to Nosferatu?

Yeah, yeah. Same family. The Nozes? Yeah, yeah. Same family. The Nozzes? Yeah, yeah. And the rapper Nozz? Yeah. They're all from a long line of Nozz. The guy who invented John D. Nozzle.

Who invented the nozzle. Who invented the... John D. Nozzle, however. Nitrogen oxide. Nitrogen... Yeah. Yeah. NOS.

Yeah. Yeah. Sure. Flonase. Whoever invented FlOS Yeah Yeah Sure Flonase Whoever invented Flonase The Flonase B I don't think it's The Flonase B

Isn't there a B Maybe No Who's the B It's Anthony Anthony Banderas Anthony Banderas It's a It might be Flonase But I feel like it's Something else Anyway Flanders? Anthony Flanders. It might be Flonase, but I feel like it's something else.

Anyway, I had a baby on my shoulder. Yeah. She's getting the best view of anybody. Oh, totally. She's eating Doritos. Landing in your hair. They're landing in my hair. Absolutely.

I'm eating little bits of Doritos. I'm finding my hair. Ran into some friends. Chatted. I don't think we ended up, even at the end of the day, you're another day older. Yeah, that's true. But not necessarily another day wiser.

But at the end of the day, there were still lineups for everything. Like the traffic died down on the street, the foot traffic, but there's still huge lineups for food. Yeah. eat the foot traffic but they're still huge lineups for food yeah uh i mean it's the part of any of these things that i don't understand like if if i incidentally walk by something and there was no lineup i'd be like i'm gonna get a you know potato tornado thing or whatever flesh tornado yeah but i'm not gonna wait in line know, just because this happens to be the day where people are waiting in line.

Or the worst is the food cart festival, the food truck festival. It's just that. There's nothing else to distract you. It's just lines. Yeah. Yeah, it's... This is food you could eat Monday to Friday on any street corner and not

wait in line. Yeah, and also the thing about something like a car free day, it always takes place on a major thoroughfare. So you can just walk a block in and there will be a restaurant that you know lineups and they'll be thankful that you made the trip over to see them. So. And you'll get to feel thanked. Whereas these people giving you a potato tornado are just... Well, if you go... It's always Thanksgiving at the turkey truck. Oh, sure, yeah.

What about that as a food truck probably exists? Turkey truck? Just drumsticks? Well, like drumsticks, and then if you wanted fixings, you get mashed potato and cranberries. I don't like having a plate full of stuff. Well, they can put it in a... What if you get the turkey thing? Then it's got like one of those potato fry uh cones right and then you have mashed potatoes and stuff in that and you can eat it with a spoon or like then you throw away the thing and

you eat the turkey leg or you can eat it like an ice cream cone yeah oh yeah oh no it's starting to melt um yeah oh that would be good. Just like an ice cream cone that was kind of like a savory waffle cone. Uh-huh. Scoop of turkey. Mm-hmm. Scoop of mashed potatoes. Scoop of turkey?

Yes, that's the meat. Scoop of dressing. Uh-huh. And then you're just eating it. Oh, that is pretty good. Stuffing. Oh, yeah, what did I say? Dressing.

Isn't that the same thing? Yeah, but no, I don't like it. Okay, but it is the is pretty good. Stuffing. Oh, yeah. What did I say? Dressing. Isn't that the same thing? Yeah, but no, I don't like it. Okay. But it is the same thing, right? But it's, yeah. Like. My dad calls it dressing and I'm like. Yeah, I think it's an old timey.

Because like, I feel. No, my dad is, he's black and white. Yeah, he's Pleasantville. My dad's a film strip. Uh-oh. Sync it up. So, yeah, then we came home. And I still hadn't eaten.

I think we came home. I watched the end of the basketball game. Uh-huh. The championship Cavaliers. Yeah, real Cinderella story. Hey, congratulations, fellas. Yeah, real Cinderella story. Hey, congratulations, fellas. Yeah, you earned it. And everyone from Cleveland, including all the staff at Winfred Lauder.

Yeah, all the tour guides at the Rock and Roll Museum there. Yeah. Yeah, and what else? Cleveland. Lake Erie. Is that right? Yeah. I feel like maybe Harvey P picar lived there oh sure yeah um yeah anyway oh yeah and real uh tom berenger and charlie sheen and i don't know uh i don't ever watch basketball and so uh i always just hear about who won that year and i have no context for why people

are excited or angry or anything uh except this year that i was like well i'm pretty sure cleveland's not like a kick-ass team that wins they're not in the finals no no they were in the finals last year but they haven't won their city hasn't won any championships in like 55 years so this was the first yeah so it's going to be non-stop car free days yeah oh yeah they just flip them over but it's going to be a lot of parades right that's what happens when you get a i think it's one no if you're if your town hasn't won anything in 50 years you're going to have like the team parade you're going to have a separate lebron parade. They did have, when LeBron went home, like people were waiting outside of his house.

And if I was him, I'd be like, okay, guys, I didn't give you this address. Yeah. Uh, how did they find out?

Well, probably nicest house in Cleveland. Oh, I was going to say, because it has a golden basketball on the top where people would usually have a weather vane. Yeah, that Randy's Donuts is just a guy with a golden basketball. Yeah. So, watch the basketball game.

Abby was feeling sick. We still hadn't eaten dinner. Oh, yeah. And she was just like, I'm going to go to bed. And so, my Father's Day dinner was I went by myself. So, there's a nice French restaurant in the neighborhood. Oh, yeah. But you always need to.

Zoo to lures, I think. Yes. It's called Sacrebleu. You need to get a reservation. Unless you go and sit by yourself at the bar. And so that's what I did. I always wonder when I'm at a bar and I see somebody sitting by himself at the bar. I'm like, is this their whole life or is this a one-off?

Because, like, in your case, this is a one-off. You're just going out. But there probably was another guy at the bar who's there every night. The guy next to me, they were like, and which of the two things you always order will you get tonight? I'm like, the trout. Because, yeah, there's always somebody at the bar that the bartender knows. Uh huh.

And there's always somebody at the bar that's talking either a waitress or the bartender's ear off. Mm hmm. And, uh, and then there's just kind of a mishmash. There was a guy about my age who showed up like 10 minutes after I did. I,

I showed up and I, they had this dark lager. Okay. Oh, I'll try that. up and they had this dark lager. Okay. Oh, I'll try that. And they also had this pilsner. I was like, I'm going to try that pilsner next. That's what I said to myself.

This guy comes, sits next to me, orders the pilsner. And now I'm like, oh, he's going to think I'm ordering it because he ordered it. And that's going to be his end to a whole night of conversation? Not even. Just like I will lose face. So then you had to stick with the dark? and or otherwise i would commit seppuku yeah oh yeah you have to because you've dishonored not only yourself but your whole clan well and it was a french restaurant and that's that's that's how most meals end yeah in seppuku um and uh i got the feeling the bartender liked him more than me.

But, you know, maybe he's there four nights a week. No, no. He was, well, he was real, it was a French restaurant. The bartender was French and this guy wanted to know all about France. Oh, yeah. I'm going to France. Where should I go? You know, Paris. I'll write it down for you.

Yeah, yeah. Let me write down Paris. What should I see in it down for you. Yeah, yeah. Paris. Let me write down Paris. That's a thing. What should I see in Paris? The airport. I will do that. What should I eat? French food.

Yeah. Snails. A mime. You know what? I'll draw some snails on this for you. I'll draw a fun picture of a snail in a car with an ass on it look at that ass cargo that's fun is that an old joke that's an old joke okay yeah but it's fun oh yeah um i'm trying to think of the last time i went and ate a meal at a bar because i've eaten i'll eat by myself at a table, but very rarely will I like, oh, it was in Whitehorse.

Oh, okay. When was this? This was, no, this was last year, and I asked the hotel I was staying at, and I was like, where can I just go and have a meal? Yeah, and they said this bar, and it was kind of, I think it was probably like the nicest restaurant in Whitehorse. It was very fancy, but they were all full up there they said you could eat at the bar and i thought i'm not keen on this but i'll do it and then ah boy the bartender wanted to talk

to me non-stop and the guy next to me wanted to talk and i was really jamming food in my face to make it clear that, oh, I can't. I don't know. I just give off a vibe. It just says don't talk to me. Don't talk to me unless you're my dentist. I don't think I've ever had French food. What do you like? I get steak frites.

It's steak with fries. And a little sauce. And the fries come with mayonnaise, which is very continental. That's a real treat. So you know it's authentic. Yeah, I wouldn't know.

Is there anything that's... You know, because French cuisine is the thing that people talk about. Uh-huh. Butter. There's butter in everything. Sure. You can get a croissant, a croissan'wich.

Yeah, we get croissan'wiches. French toast. We've got cronuts. Oh, yeah. Le cronut. We have snails, obviously. Frog's legs. Yeah, I think they maybe had snails.

Do they have frog's legs? Because that was huge. Yeah, that was they maybe had snails. Do they have frog's legs? Because that was huge. Yeah, I don't think they do. Chicken cordon bleu? Sure. No, it's just a lot of, you know, the same regular food. Same kind of stuff. It's just, you know, a little winier.

Like wine, the drink. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I've never. Maybe someday I will. Probably not. Yeah. They eat a lot of meat.

So it's probably not for me. Yeah, there's salads. Salads. But then I feel once you're in the salad zone, there's no difference between a French salad and any other. Oh, well, what about caesar that's a greek salad yeah it's true wait was caesar greek no it's latin yeah but he roman he had a huge empire that's true that's true uh so so did you get a father's day card no nothing like that no do you know i was watching my child, while

she can count a little bit, not great at like didn't know it was Father's Day. She negotiated down. You said, make me one Father's Day card, and she said zero. Ah. I was watching I don't know what it's called now. I'm wearing this shirt

of Kelly and Michael It's now just called Live with Kelly So she had Oprah Winfrey on The other day Oprah Winfrey Weight Watchers spokeswoman She loves bread Not afraid to have bread

Oh that's a big French thing Bread? Yeah Now I'm into it again She's got four dogs, and on her birthday, uh, Stedman, I guess, does cards from all the dogs. Does he get a paw print? Yeah, and he does, he does it personalized. Thanks for

cleaning up my, uh, when I threw up on the carpet from this dog. He personalizes it. There's no way Oprah cleans up her own dog vomit. She said on the show that she does. She says she likes to get down there. She likes to pick up her own dog poop. Her own dog poop? Yeah.

That's why. This waywatch diet is weird. You end up pooping dog poop. Well, it's a lot of kibble. That's how you get morning kibble, lunch kibble, and then as much bread as you want. And a sensible dinner. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know.

She says she does. I don't know. She does. You don't think so? Look, Kelly's co-host was Josh Groban. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Who I guess Oprah helped his career.

Helped him discover himself? Yeah, they went backpacking together in Europe. What is his hit song? Could you name it? No, I don't know. I know who he is. He's like a... By osmosis.

I don't, I've never... Here's what I know about Josh Groban. I know who he is. He's like a... By osmosis. I don't, I've never... Here's what I know about Josh Groban. Curly hair. Yeah. Seems like a nice guy. Didn't used to have a beard. Now has a beard. Kind of doesn't take himself too seriously.

On the first, on his first appearance on Oprah. Wore leather pants. Yeah. I've been playing down the whole time. I saw the same goddamn episode you saw. And... Yeah. I've been playing down the whole time. I saw the same goddamn episode you saw. And. But you can testify that she said that she, the dogs. She showed a picture of these dogs.

I saw, I guess I didn't see the actual Oprah segment. It's weird that, I don't know how, like, is that fun for an adult to pretend that the dogs wrote a letter? That doesn't seem fun. Did she get it on Mother's Day? Maybe Mother's Day. Well, that's... But they're Mother's Day.

I mean, as someone who has children and a dog, it's the same. Yeah. Oh, it's You Raise Me Up. That's his hit. You raise me up. Oh, yeah's You Raise Me Up. That's his hit. You raise me up. Oh, yeah. I know it.

But he seems like a guy who's doing very well for himself. Probably his album was put out on Starbucks Records. He seems like a guy who Starbucks would like. Yeah, it was his first album put out in Oprah's book club. It was. First it was, was it Aquila and the Bee? Aquila and the Bee, A Million Little Pieces, and Toni Morrison, Toni Morrison, Toni Morrison.

Surely the color purple was one of the one of her suggestions. Did she go back or were they all new books? Oh, maybe they were all new books. Oh, I feel like maybe she went back. Hmm. Maybe a re-release? Put the little O on it?

Yeah. Josh Groban's new book, From Leather Pants to Beard. Yeah, right. The story of a couple years worth of a career. Feeling kind of Groban. So, yeah, that was Father's Day. Fun. Yeah.

That was a fun day. Yeah, I don't need a card. i don't need a card i don't need a card to know i'm a dad yeah that's true unless unless you were denying paternity and then the card said you are the father well i think i i probably do have some documents that indicate are there even in the kind of funny card line are there any paternity based greeting cards like you are the father yeah happy father's day what i'm not a dad and then you open it up it goes you're a dad yeah here's the dna results and it's gone did i give this uh blood it was all a ruse that blood truck we rented a truck

yeah we hired howie what are on regular Father's Day cards? So there's a funny one with a, you know, a fisherman. Oh yeah. Or like, or a guy maybe mowing a lawn in his

boxers with hearts on it. I feel like the ones for Mother's Day are always a flower or a lake. Yeah.

All the ones for Mother's Day are very touching and the ones for Father's Day are all very silly. Yeah. So it would be a guy with a fishing rod holding a broken condom.

Guess what? Guess what? You're my dad. Yeah. Yeah, fun. It's fun. It's the only thing... That separates us from the animals.

Yeah, that we celebrate Father's Day. It's the only thing. That separates us from the animals. Yeah, that we celebrate Father's Day. It's the only extra day you get as you progress along in life. Because you always have. Oh, no. You have like, you know, a holiday, a Christmas, a Hanukkah, whatever. You have your birthday. Well, no.

What else do you get? You can get a Hanukkah if you turn Jewish. Oh, yeah, that's true. Also, you can get a wedding anniversary. Yep. You can get Administrative Assistance Day if you turn into one of those. Yeah, yeah. There's, oh, my goal is to achieve so much in my life that I have a holiday every day.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a good movie log line. Yeah. Say itline. Yeah. Say it again. Okay. Jim Carrey's goal. Yeah. Is he has to say yes to everything.

He can't tell a lie. And he achieves 365 things so he can have a holiday every day. Yeah. So that he can start telling the truth. Certain things are like Hanukkah's eight days. So he can only. He can only do one day of Hanukkah. Yeah, so that he could start telling the truth. Although, certain things are like Hanukkah's eight days. So he can only... He can only do one day of Hanukkah. No, no. He can, if he becomes Jewish,

he can get eight days of Hanukkah, a Rosh Hashanah, a Yom Kippur. Right, right. So in that case, in that movie, does he add extra days? Or does... What do you mean?

Does he have to do... The year's still 365. Right, but if but if say during the the Hanukkah day uh huh can he do two things on that day no no no

it's just so that block is he can't do anything about Hanukkah it's holiday man that block he can do whatever he wants but it's

it doesn't count towards other days but he can't celebrate oh this is one of the days of Hanukkah and also kite day. He's welcome to do that. Okay. But that is some unfortunate sounding words for Hanukkah. I don't know what you're talking about.

Dave? I don't know what you're talking about. Like a thing you fly in the sky on a string, right? A kite. Okay. Jeez. Yeah. What you're talking about. Like a thing you fly in the sky on a string, right? A kite. Okay. Jeez. Yeah. What are you talking about?

I just wanted to make sure we understand ourselves and each other. Let's go fly a kite. Yeah. Yeah. Let's go understand ourselves. Let's go out with our friend Josh. Graham, what's going on with you? I was out of town.

I was at my brother's wedding. Happy wedding, Dan. Yes. Yeah, he got married to his longtime girlfriend, Cindy. And it was nice. It was a nice wedding. It was one of these smart weddings. Everything took place in the same area so no

travel no uh lull where people were trying to figure out what to do sure it was uh the ceremony when you said it was a smart wedding i thought it was going to be like everyone wore a fitbit yeah yeah exactly it was completely carbon neutral and uh what are where what was the place it was all in a hotel kind of banquet room so they had the ceremony and then that area closed off and the all the employees flipped it uh-huh turned it into a dining area and then people had cocktails and stuff in this other room. I missed all that because you had to go take pictures. Oh, boy.

Oh, and you were part of the party? Yeah. Yeah. So then you have to go. Then that's putting in your time. That's the work part of the day is, okay, now we're going to go get photos taken in our suits. Did you have a role in the wedding? No, I just stood,

I walked up the aisle and stood. I didn't do anything. You didn't MC or speech? No, uh... Rap battle? Speeches were very short. Great. That's what we did at our wedding.

We told people, no speeches. Yeah. Some people didn't like it. Oh, well, have your own our wedding. We told people, no speeches. Yeah. Some people didn't like it. Oh, well, have your own goddamn wedding. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, and then get your dog to write you a speech. Well, at the time you cleaned up its puke. Or the time you flayed a kite.

Close. Flew a kite. Thank you. Yeah. I guess that was what threw me off. flu okay thank you yeah i guess that's that was what threw me off um uh yeah so there was uh they had a thing you know when everybody clinks the glasses and you're supposed to kiss they wanted to uh dampen that and this was i thought this was a really great idea if you claim it clinked on the glasses, you had to get up and you had to hula hoop

in front of everybody and then they would kiss. Oh. And so that really put, a couple of people did it. A couple of people got up, hula hooped, which I realized very quickly,

don't know how to do. Can't hula hoop. Did you try? Yep. Did you clink? No, I just. You didn't try in front of everyone. You tried.

I tried once. Everybody was up and dancing. Nobody look. Yeah. But, yeah, I don't know how you do that. I don't think I've ever been able to do it. Yeah, I guess it's one of those things that I maybe tried for five seconds and didn't care one way or the other. And you quit immediately, never went back.

But assumed you could do it. Yeah, because you see somebody doing it and you're like, well, there's nothing special they're doing. Sometimes you'll see a person who's doing five at a time and you're like, well, that's something. Yeah, that person probably does this professionally. Or maybe that'll be the thing. Can you do a yo-yo? Yep, I can yo-yo. Or do you just think you can yo-yo?

No, I can yo-yo. If we did a wedding and you had to yo-yo every time we kiss. I mean, I wouldn't even care if you kissed. I just want the opportunity to go yo-yo. Go yo-yo. But yeah, the hula hoop thing, I don't know how to do, but I was talking to one of my brother's friends. He demonstrated for everybody how it was going to go.

So he got up, he was the first to hula hoop. And I talked to him, I was like, where did you learn how to hula hoop? And he said, his father was a great hula hooper.

And he tried it when he was a kid, was not good at it, and then picked it up again as a teenager and just changed one thing. And he can play a full game of badminton while hula hooping. How many points? not good at it and then picked it up again as a teenager and just changed one thing and he's he's he can play a full game of badminton while hula hooping how many points till till the end till sudden death over tiebreaker yeah what um how far back does hula hooping go because was it the 50s

yeah when america fell in love with hawaii yeah it was... And the hula? There was a hula hoop. There was a hula hoop with sand. Apparently, there was some sort of hula hoop that had a ball bearing in it. Okay. It would get its own kind of centrifugal force. Uh-huh. Glow-in-the-dark hula hoops. Oh, that hula hoop with a ball bearing in it.

That's how they do that tire thing in the windows. Where the tires are sort of... Is it? Rotating on each other? I i don't know i know there's a weight involved um yeah so i don't like i like i say did it once did it at this wedding don't know how to do it probably will never know how to do it um and not something you i don't think you will like lose a lot of self-respect from not knowing how to do it yeah i don't know though i guess i never thought about it and would never have thought about it if it weren't for

this particular i feel like now i would just be imagining what's going on underneath the clothes like what would a nude hula hooper look like i bet you could find that on uh youtube pretty pretty quickly do they have nudes on oh i guess it's art yeah it's art yeah exactly free the free the nipple and the hoops free the hoops am i right ladies um and then they had another thing that i've never seen at a wedding before uh you you've seen uh at a lot of weddings a photo booth a phobo uh and those are a lot of fun this thing they had was are a lot of fun i know it's like been done to death yeah but you should still do one but this this was uh similar but had a

different twist on it and it was at first it was very i was like i don't know if i want to be part of this but then once i did it i was like this is the most fun thing in the world i did it eight more times uh it was a short video it would film you and then you would watch it back and it would be super slow motion uh-huh oh so much wobbled your face wobbled your face they had a giant box of confetti so you could throw confetti and uh they had fake dollar bills so you could make a brain. Oh, yeah. Did they have... They had all sorts of crazy masks you could wear.

I would want to spit something out. I did a thing where I was throwing up the confetti. And then a thing where I sneezed and I blew confetti everywhere. That's fun. Yeah, it was a lot of fun. And they had... You know, they have costumes, crowns and weird masks. And then they had these masks that were kind of like a giant cardboard, like baby's head that you put on.

I don't like. It was great. I don't like. And they had a shark's head and a rhino. It was a lot of fun. Okay. And so I've never seen that before. Yeah, good idea.

Yeah, it of fun. Okay. And so I've never seen that before. Yeah. Good idea. Yeah. It was fun. And what would be like, I'm trying to think of places because you said this wedding was all in one place and that's the best way to do it. Is there the first thing that came to mind? That's what your wedding was like. Yeah. It was, it was, it was outdoor indoor.

But you know, we didn't have to get in a car. No, exactly. It was all, it was all on the same property. Yeah. And I'm thinking of like if you did a wedding upstairs at a fire hall and then everyone had to take a pole down. Oh, boy. That would be. That would be a lot of fun.

You couldn't start downstairs and take a fire pole up. Well, it's like hula hooping. I don't know. I tried it once. I wasn't able to do it. Oh, yeah. A gym class rope i've ever gone on uh there was like one on my playground yeah growing up but i've never done

one indoors never done an indoor slide down a pole have you i don't think so but i think the same principle i don't know i want to yeah the same principle but i do i want to go on an indoor one oh sure yeah you don't have all that wind resistance to worry about and i want to hear that sound without a lot of background sound that squeaking sound um or less squeaking if you're depending on the pants you're wearing or how oiled your thighs are have you done you haven't taken a pole dancing class oh it's great for your core i haven't taken a class i just i just go and out of my way yeah i just jam i don't i don't care you know i don't care about the official way to do it uh-huh yeah um and then uh so so my kind of marker the whole wedding was we can't leave until the oldest people here are gone.

Are dead. Because there were some grandparents and they stayed up late. They really, they went for it. When was the event start? Start time was 3.30. And they went late. That's prime nap time for the old. I know.

But the trick was a lot of people staying in the hotel. So I think maybe between ceremony and dance-a-thon, they went and had a nap. They snuck in a special quick nap. A special grown-up nap. A special grown up nap. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The best kind. It's weird how much when you're a kid

that you hate naps, but then you look back and you're like, I was so dumb. I was so dumb. Naps are the best. I still can't.

Still can't? Maybe I've taken one nap since the baby was born. I never took naps as an adult. But you probably will when you're older. The baby takes naps every day. Yeah. I never took naps as an adult. But you probably will when you're older. The baby takes naps every day.

Yeah. I should nap. I try to nap. Like, sometimes I'm so tired. Yeah. I try to nap when the baby naps. But, you know, the pull of Netflix is too strong. I could, but why don't I just watch this documentary about the Twisted Sister?

I love watching. Did you watch the documentary about Twisted Sister? I watched an hour of it yeah i don't know i thought it was good yeah it's a bunch of guys uh struggling yeah i they it's it's weird it's like when you when you look at former rockers that still have rocker hair twisted sisters another one of those 80s, like, is this really them? Yeah, that's true.

When I was a kid, I couldn't make heads or tails out of Twisted Sisters. I didn't understand what they were. But now they still have either, like, long hair or just feathered. Yeah, I don't know what you're supposed to do because this is the first generation of rock stars that got old right yeah so so there's no template but there were like hippies who like i think of like dennis hopper who just cut his hair and it was fine yeah yeah that's true but he was uh he was an actor,

so they were always cutting their hair and putting it on rolls. So I'm just thinking about a musician, because they're almost universally going to be more famous when they're younger. And then, yeah,

we kind of had to just sit back and watch these rock and roll haircuts deteriorate. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, some people just have had great hair start to finish all of the Rolling Stones.

Yeah. They've really, yeah. Across the board. Great hair. And then some people just didn't have great hair for very long at all. Uh, Paul McCartney got a full head of hair still insists on a mullet

yeah that's true and he had some cool dues over the years he would he would evolve from the mop i think is a tribute to linda do you think well she had a mullet for a long time yeah it's funny that but he yeah he evolved he changed his look a bunch of times, and then in the 80s, just, that's it. No more evolution. This is now Paul McCartney forever. Like Elton John has a beautiful head of hair. Gorgeous.

Gorgeous, ever-changing. Ever-changing, but like, never one strand out of place. Yeah. But he, at least, his look, he's not still going on stage dressed like Donald Duck. Not on stage, no. But Princess Diana's funeral.

Backstage during the meet and greet. Let me put on my duck costume. Goodbye, England's Rose. Quack. Quack. I don't think Donald ever said quack. Donald's. I can't do it.

No you can do it. That's the gist of it. Yeah. Sorry my modem's connecting. But. Yeah. Sorry, my modem's connecting. But, you know, the Metallica guys, they had a hard transition haircut-wise. Yeah, that's true. I feel like James Hetfield's new do looks great. Of course.

But some people were very mad. Of course. Yeah. Lars didn't have a lot of choice. He had to go short. Yeah. Or start wearing Slash's of choice. He had to go short. Yeah. Or start wearing Slash's hat. Slash has great hair.

Yeah, I don't know why he hides it in her hat. It makes me so mad. But you still see enough of it. That's true. What if he got a businessman do? He'd still look great. Yeah, maybe. Jeez, I want to become a successful movie director so I can ask Slash,

would you want to be in a movie? You're going to have to cut your hair. He would do it. He would do it. Because he needs to change. Yeah. I feel like he's waiting for someone to just ask him to cut his hair. Do you think?

But it's so beautiful. Yeah, why would you? He's got to be coloring it, though, at this point. Although, I'm not looking at pictures of Slash every day. Not a new one. Maybe he's got some salt and pepper in there. Axel never had good hair. Until he got the cornrows.

Yeah, that's true. That was a real departure point. Duff's got great hair, looks great. Man, this is a good... I could think about this all day. Sure. But yeah, the wedding was a lot of fun the pictures i never know like i with wedding party photos i don't know if they're supposed to be silly or serious or i don't know what the mood is i know the pictures of the two

of them are supposed to be contemplative and yeah oh boy but when we're standing there we could and the photographer was just kind of going with the mood that we were setting which was very silly but i'm not sure is that what people want a bunch of silly photos i don't. I don't know either. It's tough. Cause like Abby and I look at our wedding photos every day. Yeah. You wake up early before Mario goes up.

Yeah. Abby, wake up. I want to look at the album. Okay. I didn't put it away from last night. I'm up. I fell asleep.

I'm up. I've been too excited to sleep. Yeah. Let's look at the album together. Oh, this was, this one was so silly. I agree. I'm glad we got

a wide range of silliness. Yeah, have you looked at your wedding photos once since you got married? Like, I mean, the day that they arrived. Yeah. The prints. And then on anniversaries, like, oh, maybe I'll post one of these.

These are garbage. We were being too silly. Yeah. Why did we both bring those oversized sunglasses? I don't know. We didn't get a lot of prints, which I think would be good. It would be a good way to look at them. Otherwise, it's just a folder on my computer.

That's true. But you can put it on a slideshow you know while your uh computer's on standby that's fun that's a fun way to experience the memory yeah that's true um yeah so good good wedding well planned good hula hooping i mean bad hula hooping by me but good hula hooping by others hard word to say hula hooping yeah hula hooping by me, but good hula hooping by others. Hard word to say. Hula hooping. Yeah, hula hooping.

I imagine they probably have some sort of slang for it in hula hoop circles. Oh, sure, hooping. Oh, wait, that's when you put something up your butt to smuggle it through prison. Yeah, that's when you put a hula hoop up your butt to smuggle it past prison. But you're walking and you hear that sand. Hula for me. No, I can't. Do we want to move on to a little bit of business? Yeah!

Life can be fun. Don't get carried away. You gotta do the things you don't want to do to get through the day. You gotta shine your shoes. You gotta sweep the floor. You gotta clean shine your shoes. You got to sweep the floor. You got to clean your house. You got to do some more.

Take care of business. This episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself is brought to you by Blue Apron. Now, not all ingredients are created equal. Fresh, high-quality ingredients taste better and are better for you, so it's important to know where your food comes from. I love ingredients. It's my favorite thing to eat. Yeah, it's my favorite part of a meal.

Yeah, I like a bunch. Sometimes I want a bunch. Sometimes I want a little, but I always want to combine them. Well, but sometimes I like them when they're a little bit separate. Oh, sure. Yeah. I don't like my foods to touch. Yeah.

Unless it's through cooking. Yeah, but I feel like- Or a salad. They're going to get to know each other soon enough. Blue Apron is, if you don't like going to the grocery store, if you don't like trying to figure out what to feed yourself or your family, Blue Apron is the solution for you because they'll do all that work for you. And this is the thing, too, is if you're not making a meal for several people, you can't buy single serving. You know what I mean?

You're always left with things that you don't know what to do unless you want to make the exact same meal the next day. Oh, sure. You're always left with extra bits and bobs. Onion powder. Onion powder, half of an avocado. Oh, yeah. You'll never figure out what to do with that. Well, you can turn it into an avocado mask for your skin.

Exactly. Thank you. But for less than $10 per meal, Blue Apron delivers seasonal recipes along with pre-portioned ingredients to your home to make delicious home-cooked meals. The home is your home. Yeah, and that's where the heart is, especially if you're cooking, like, beef heart or something like that. I don't think that's probably one of the things that Blue Apron does. No, no, but, you know, that's where that expression came from.

Yeah, I thought it came from Captain. Yeah. Now, Blue Apron knows that when you cook with incredible ingredients, you make incredible meals. That makes sense. Look, Blue Apron thought of everything. Yeah, the short distance between an incredible meal is an incredible ingredient. And they monitor, they keep an eye on where their ingredients come from. They've chosen the finest of artisanal

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check out what's on the sale, what's happening this week, what's this week's menu, check out. Oh, sorry. If you want to check out this week's menu and get your first three meals free with free shipping, because that's always where you get, you know, you're like, oh, it's so cheap. So expensive to ship. Not this time, fella. You go to blueapron.com slash podcasting. You'll love how good it feels and tastes to create incredible home-cooked meals with Blue Apron.

So don't wait. What are you waiting for? No, for me to repeat this. That's blueapron.com slash podcasting. Blue Apron. A better way to cook. Do you want to move on to Overheard? Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Hi, are you a fan of Star Trek The Next Generation? Well, that's weird because it's a corny show. But my friends Ben Harrison and Adam Pranica do a lovely podcast about it. It's called The Greatest Generation and it's on MaximumFun.org. I thought that this podcast was a bad idea, but I was wrong. Please listen to The Greatest Generation on MaximumFun.org. Hey guys, this is Adam Conover. You may know me from my true TV show, Adam Ruins Everything. Well, guess what? Now we're doing a podcast version right here on Maximum Fun. What we do is we take all the interesting, fascinating experts

that we talked to for just a couple of minutes on the show, and we sit with them for an entire podcast, really going deep and getting into the fascinating details of their work. Find Adam Ruins Everything wherever you get your podcasts or at MaximumFun.org. Or at MaximumFun.org. Overheard. Overheard. Segment in which we hear these, oh, these things. Side splitting, really.

And we like to share them here on the podcast. Now, we always start with the guest. There's no guest. Ah. Do you want to start? I can start? I'll start. What do you want to do? You start.

Oh, don't you start with me? No, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, don't make me come up there.

Oh boy. This isn't, I don't really have it overheard, but I'll start. Okay. Um, I just, this,

uh, I thought it was funny because, uh, well, I don't even know why I was in a, I was, uh, uh, coffee shop where they make you a barista style coffee. Sure.

A latte. A latte. A cappuccino. Yeah. A macchiato. Macchiato. Caramel macchiato. I don't think they do that here.

Oh, okay. A mocha. Oh, yum. A fresca. Oh, a fresca. A tab. Yeah. Pepsi free.

Yeah. A slice. A slice. They make you a dad's root beer. Oh. Oh yum A fresca Oh a fresca A tab Yeah Pepsi free Yeah A slice That'd make you a dad's root beer Oh Haven't had that in a long time I had it on Father's Day Yeah you have to And

They'll What they'll do Is I guess the reason I thought this was funny Is cause normally Someone would yell out Large latte And you would go, oh, that's me. Right.

At this place, they just take your name, and the barista yelled, Lara, and the woman goes, oh, that's me. I'm Lara. Yeah. I'm Lara, and I ordered a large latte. That's fun. Is it? So, in conclusion, no, I don't have

an overheard. My overheard comes courtesy of a friend of mine is a school teacher at an arts elementary school. Oh, yes, and you went in and talked to the kids. Yes. You were a cautionary tale. Yes. I came in and said, this is what happens

if you don't eat your spinach. I don't know. I can't remember what the theme of the day was. Sure, it was Popeye. And so I was chatting to him before the kids came back from recess. And I was like, it must be really fun for these kids. This was on the same day? I've been back a couple times. To present things?

No, no. I recorded a podcast with these kids. Okay. And just got them to tell stories and stuff. So I was there a couple of times to do this. Because they do these things. The teacher also knows a comic book artist, so he's been working on a comic book with the whole class.

So it's really neat. It's stuff that I would have loved when I was a kid. And what makes him think that you know how to make a podcast? I don't know. I've been around it. Yeah. I mean, you know, I've been on this one with you for a while. Yeah.

Well, I mean, you've been around this one. You show up. Yeah, sure. And that's 90% of life. Absolutely. Keanu Reeves taught us that. So, yeah, I was talking with these kids. And so they were coming back in from recess. And I was just saying like, oh, this would have been I was talking with these kids and so he's, they were coming back in

from recess and I was just saying like, oh, this would have been so great to go to an arts school. And, um, and he said, I don't know. I think these kids, they don't learn anything. Well, they, they says, I think these kids' parents are the arts people. These kids don't necessarily, they're not necessarily art has artistic kids. Right. They're not necessarily artists artistic kids right they're just in school and he says you'll see what i mean and uh so after they came to kind of homeroom uh then he said okay everybody uh your next class is choir and half of the kids were like

so i think that but that's regardless of what school you're in. Like. Yeah, exactly. But it was just funny that these kids just like, ugh, quiet. If you were at Hogwarts and they were like, the next class is Hex's. Potions. Sure. Yeah.

Do they learn anything? You're asking the wrong guy. I don't know. Okay. I never read the books never seen the movies don't even know don't even know if Harry Potter

is the name of the character or just a hairy guy who puts things in pots yeah exactly thank you or makes pots is that what a potter is

oh sure well I saw I once at this souvenir stand saw a picture of a bear with a flower in a pot, and it said Berry Pot.

Thank you for finally laughing at that. Well, I don't know. I don't know. I feel like that was more courtesy. I'm still mad that you said I don't know anything about podcasting. Well. Why are you standing by that statement? Why don't you make this week's episode?

You know that I've offered. Alright, I'll send you the files. Okay. No, I'm too much of a control freak. There it is. I won't let it happen. Exactly. Now, we also have overheards sent in by people from around the world.

If you want to send one in, you can send it into spy at maximumfund.org. This first one comes from Eric here in Vancouver. Okay. Okay. You're here? Mm-hmm. Okay.

Locked in, Eric. When I worked at a snowboard shop, a kid about 13 years old came in with his mom, and as they were looking at baseball hats, the mom asked me, does this bong hat have a double meaning so i told her yep billabong is the brand but a bong is a water pipe used for smoking marijuana she turned to her son and said glad i asked we don't want a repeat of the shocker

shirt incident now do we because the shocker could be just something shocking or something shocking. Uh huh. Yeah. Um, it's a, it's a time in a boy's life when he puts his hands on some live wires. Uh huh. That's a shocker.

Yeah. You got shocked. Yeah, bro. Um, this next one comes from, uh, Simon M in,

uh, where's Brisbane, Australia. Oh, Brisbane. This is a mower mart. This is the name of the place. M-O-W-E-R? Yep. It is a lawn sign out front of the store that says, Valentine's Chainsaws in store now.

Wow. Yeah. I guess, yeah, there was a famous massacre on Valentine's Day. That's true. But it was mostly gun. Oh, it wasn't a chainsaw massacre? Mm-mm. Was there a famous chainsaw massacre?

No, not that I know of. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm.. M-mm. M-mm. M-mm. M-mm. M-mm. M-mm. M-mm. M-mm. M-mm. M-mm. M-mm. M-mm. M-mm. M-mm. M-mm. M-mm. M-mm. M-mm. M- No, not that I know of. I guess you could carve a heart out of wood with a chainsaw. You could carve a heart out of someone's chest with a chainsaw. You could use a chainsaw to open up all the chocolates in a box and see what's inside them. Sure.

Oh, this one's strawberry. I licked it off of the chain. Cool. That's strawberry. I licked it off of the chain. Cool. That's cool. This one, last one, Dale K. from Parts Unknown. Uh-huh. I was at work restocking hot dogs. Perfect.

Wearing a smock and an apron, a little boy said to me, look at you. I wasn't sure how to take that and gave a non-committal response then he repeated followed by you're awesome before his family left he told his mother he's cool pretty good oh wow like i'm guessing restocking hot dogs on the rollers i don't know or or maybe in the deli maybe they they were prepackaged. Yeah. Or, you know, maybe he had it was a deli and you could pick a certain type of hot dog.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. I remember when my parents would bring me to the deli and he'd say, you get to pick one type of hot dog. Yeah. And you would always pick Johnsonville Brat. Now, we also have overheards of another variety. Oh, not that I know of. Oh, but check.

Look at the files. Oh, yeah, we do. What we got is we got overheards that have been called in. And if you would like to call us, you got to call our new phone number, 1-844-SPY-POD1. That's 1-SPY-POD1. Paid on delivery. That's how you remember that one sure or you could not talk while i say it one spy pod one like these people have oh we're fighting hi dave and graham this is roy from tennessee i was at a music festival oh i'm calling in with an overheard

i was at a music festival last week and i saw two young ladies carrying ice back to their campsite and one of them says here's my concern i think my nipples are starting to look like my mother's oh anyway uh okay thanks brian yeah that, well, that's what happens I always said I'd never have nipples like mine I know, but you look at On Mother's Day, everyone posts pictures Of their own nipples next to their mother's

Yeah, that's true You're like, yeah, that is You're your mother's nipple You're the nipple of my eye Here's your next phone call Hey, Dave Graham, Possible Gas. This is Andy from Wisconsin calling with an overheard. My six-year-old daughter was giving me some would-you-rather scenarios tonight,

and one of them that she said was, would you rather puke or die? To which I answered, well, I guess I'd rather puke or die? To which I answered, well, I guess I'd rather puke. And she said, you are a loser! You walked right into that one. That was a trap.

Yeah, I guess I'd rather puke. Loser! Yeah. No, I'd rather die. Well, it depends on when. When I get a tummy ache, I fight off. You eat too many Johnsonville br when. I'm, when I get like a tummy ache, uh, I fight. You've eaten too many Johnsonville brats. I fight off puking to the bitter end.

Yeah. Like I'm hoping it'll. Until you're dead. Yeah. Yeah. I'm hoping it'll pass or I'll die. Yeah. Cause I find it like, whenever I tell a story, which is often about trying not to throw up, people are always like, why don't you just throw up?

It'll be over. Yeah, your life. Oh, God. Yeah. If it were only that easy. Oh, I know. But, no, I just find it so unpleasant. Yeah, I can see that.

Yeah, I'd rather die. So, in this, would you rather, I would rather die. Here is your final overheard of 2016. Hi, Dave and Graham and lovely guest. It's Sanka from Vancouver calling to report an overseen. I was on Albany Street the other day and I saw a truck for a water service company and I thought you might like their tagline. It was water that blows water out of the water.

Yeah. Pretty good. Yeah. And also it reminds you that you're reading a tagline about water. Yeah. And it reinforces it. Yeah. It's like the first rule of taglines.

Yeah. Make sure that you say the product three times in the tagline. So people know what it is. McDonald's. McDonald's. I'm loving McDonald's. I'm loving McDonald's. I'm loving McDonald's because McDonald's is McDonald's. Exactly. Coca-Cola, the Coca-Cola of a

Coca-Cola generation for Pepsi. So good. Good over hurts. Yeah, all in all, this was a win. Yeah. I'm sorry we fought. We'll send each other gifts. Animated gifts? I'll send you a hatchet.

You'll send me a pipe. You bury the hatchet. Oh, and I smoke a piece of pipe. Smoke them? Is that allowed? Fly a kite? I don't know. Oh! This brings us to the end of the episode. It does! But before we go, uh. This brings us to the end of the episode. It does.

But before we go, we wanted to let you know about all of the live shows where you can catch us, uh, right now and in the future. Right now you're in Toronto. And you're also in Toronto, but you're not doing shows. No. You're just there. No, yeah, I think I'm actually back by now. Welcome back. Thanks.

Oh boy, what a trip. Was it hot out there? Guys, don't get me started. Oh boy. It back. Thanks. Oh boy, what a trip. Was it hot out there? Guys, don't get me started. Oh boy, it's so humid. Stinkeroo. But yeah,

you're in Toronto. You're performing two shows at the Toronto Fringe Festival. Yes, indeed. One is called Instagram. Yeah, which is just,

it's just me being opportunistic about having a name and having to join Instagram. So far, I've stayed away from Snapchat, but maybe next year, Snapchat show. Oh, this is the time when older people have been joining Snapchat. It is.

Which I think means Snapchat is over. Oh, do you think there's something new? Yeah, probably some kind of butt slug or something. Yeah, like I read an article yesterday that somebody said, doing the dab is now over. I was like, I just found out about it from this article. Damn, Daniel. But your show is called Instagram.

One of your shows is called Instagram. And then the other one is Ring-a-Ding-Dong Dandy. That's your wrestling show with Ryan Beal. And people in Toronto can see these for the next few days. Yeah. If you're, if you're, uh,

go to Toronto fringe.com tickets still available. I assume probably. Yeah. Uh, also still available tickets to our shows in, uh, in October. One is in Edmonton on October 7th,

the up and downtown festival. Yes. So we'll post a link on our website at MaximumFun.org to where you can get tickets for that. Also, our show in

Victoria, British Columbia October 22nd. Tickets, I'm assuming, are still available for that. Yeah. So get assuming, are still available for that. Yeah. So get them while they're available. Yes. Now.

Now. As we do at the end of every episode. Yeah. We join hands. Yeah. And sing We Are The World. And we say a prayer. Then we go out and perform in front of Madonna.

If you go to MaximumFun.org and click on this episode, there's a recap of all the things we talked about. Yeah. Pictures and videos of some of the stuff. We Are the World, for instance. Oh, yeah. Maybe the new Ghostbusters theme? Oh, sure. I haven't heard it yet.

Oh, it's similar to the old one. Okay. Except with a rap verse. And they are afraid of ghosts. Oh, yeah. This one, that's the twist. That's the reboot. Or this one, Ghostbust People. They're Ghostbusters, but they don't bust ghosts.

Yakov Smirnoff was another 80s character. Oh, yeah. Who was a humanoid. Dame Edna was also another one. Sure. I mean, the list is long. 80s were a different timena was also another one. Sure. Um, I mean, the list is long.

These were a different time. What a wonderful decade. Uh, and, uh, if you like the show, you can leave a review on iTunes if you're one of those

type of people. Uh, one of those type of people. What does that mean? I don't know. Um, and, uh,

if you like the show, uh, tell your friends and come on back next week for another episode of stop by guys yourself maximum fun.org comedy and culture artist owned listener supported