Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 444 - Charlie Demers

Episode Date: September 19, 2016

Comedian and writer Charlie Demers returns to talk cartoon voice acting, sleepy intruders, and beard conventions.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 444 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark, and with me as always is a man who likes to party all the time, party all the time, Mr. Dave Shumka. Is that Eddie Murphy? You know it!

Wow, featuring, or produced by Rick James? Yeah, did they sing together on that track? He was definitely in the video behind the mixing board. I know a couple years ago, somebody was telling me that Eddie Murphy wanted to get back into performing, but just music. Which would be, if you bought tickets to Eddie Murphy, you're like, I can't believe he's back on stage. My girl likes to... It's a mad lady. my girl likes to boop boop boop do do do do do do do do it's a mad lady

then he yeah on stage he puts a banana banana in a tailpipe on stage here's a song called you dropped your ice cream we're gonna win this race and our guest today one of our all time faves

He is a writer, comedian, and most recently he's the voice of an animated slug on the Netflix show Beat Bugs Mr. Charlie Demers Hello guys Hey, thanks for having me Will this be the episode, will this come up after, are you doing back-to-back Demers episodes? No, we've got a break in between. So there's a buffer between me and DJ Demers. Oh, no, yeah.

We couldn't do that. We would break the internet. Yeah. It's been a real wake-up call for me that this guy comes along with the same name as me, but he's just... He's good-looking. He's more pleasant.

He's more successful. Oh, I wouldn't say that. No, no, no, it's a real, it's a reckoning. I mean, you must, there must be Clarks. Yeah. Marsha Clark. Yeah, Marsha Clark was one of the first. Comparing yourselves too.

But you only have the Shumka dancers. That's true. Yeah. And, yeah, I'm mad that they have Shumka.com. Oh, yeah. I mean, it tears me up inside. Yeah, yeah, I'm mad that they have Shumka.com. Oh, yeah. I mean, it tears me up inside. Yeah, yeah. Well, you should make them an offer.

Oh, I just got an email from my provider telling me that it's time to renew FuckJeeves.com. Was that one of those, was it an automated robot voice? It was like, it is time to renew FuckJeeves. an automated robot voice? No, no. It is time to renew. It was an email, actually. Oh, well, no, you just got a call from TELUS upstairs. Well, that was a different. Oh, see ya. Literally, I would have put those two things together, right?

No. Oh, stop. Should we get to know us? Yeah. Get to know us yeah get to know us so voice on it's a hit show on the netflix oh yeah show yeah yeah how can you tell well i'm going on faith mostly no i think uh because it is actually a thing where I believe that Netflix is actually quite proprietary about their data. So nobody, maybe I'm wrong about this, but I feel like people don't. No, nobody knows how Netflix shows are doing numbers wise. They don't share.

Because there's not Nielsen's and there's not like it's not. They just choose to renew or not renew. Yeah. Yeah. So we, the, the, everything that I've heard is good. But you must get the right, like they're proprietary, but they share them with everyone on the show. Yeah, with all the voice actors. They email you charlie at netflix.com.

John Netflix, I'm calling with the numbers. Yeah. John Netflix. I'm calling with the numbers. So we do have a second season starting in November. So the first batch of episodes came out in August. And there were 13 kind of double episodes because it's a kid's show. So it's 11 minute episodes.

But there's two in one episode uh so there's 13 of those already on netflix and then the second season comes out in november right but the um yeah the response has been really good i mean one of the interesting things is like um you know for for grown-up shows like like, we would know just from, like, being on Twitter whether people liked it or whatever. Whereas with kids' shows. You've got to go on Snapchat. Like, you find out all this, it's all in all these, like, parenting boards or whatever. So, my daughter's just, like, she's not quite three. So, we're not all up to speed on all this stuff but i'll have friends who've got like five or six year olds and they'll be like you guys got an amazing

review on commonsenseparent.com or whatever and it's like then i find out it's like the biggest website in the universe uh like this is this is like getting a like front page new york times review for like people who have like three to five-year-olds. Oh, wow. Yeah, no, but it's... And is that the demo for the show? I would say so. I would say, although I have a friend who's seven-year-old is really, really into it.

Really dumb. Yeah, really immature. I would say it's kind of... The sweet spot, I would say, like, it's kind of, the sweet spot I would say would probably be from, like, three to seven. And then stoned adults. Yeah. I don't know the degree to which I'm supposed to officially, but I do feel like it's, I mean, it looks like totally amazing. Like the animation and stuff. It's very pretty to look at.

If people don't know what it is, it's Beatles themed. Yeah. So they got the rights to the Beatles catalog. So they don't have the recordings. They have the rights to produce the music. But like famous musicians have been part of this, right? Yeah. But like famous musicians have been part of this, right?

Yeah. Like kind of, uh, so in the first season they had, um, pink and Eddie Vedder and, uh, I'm blanking on a, a SIA did a really beautiful version of a Blackbird. Um, in the second season, they've got like, uh, Rod Stewart and, um, uh, monsters and men did a, uh, the Eleanor Rigby. Oh, yeah. And that's in the second season. And it's absolutely, like, it's really, really good. That's going to be a sad episode. Yeah. No, the Eleanor Rigby episode is really, really funny.

That's the, I mean, anyway, this is all, I feel, I'm feeling a real conflict of like what should be my kind of like irony guy. Right. Pat. And then promoting this show. And then promoting the show, but also just like genuinely. So here's the thing. I've been trying to do.

I'm just still picturing Rod Stewart getting this call. From John Netflix. And being like, yeah, so it's a show and you know he's just like but he calls early in the morning so he's like wake up maggie but you know he's just been around so long that there's just got to be like all right he also must be like huh he didn't think to maybe make a show about Rod Stewart songs? Rod Bugs. Yeah.

Maybe kids need to learn about being forever young. Or Downtown Train. Yeah. Oh, yeah. What's the song where he's like, I want to quit school and play pool? That's Maggie Mae. Is that Maggie Mae? Yeah.

That would be a good episode. I feel like that's more of a feature. I feel like Maggie Mae is a movie. Yeah. Oh, sure. About the kid. He falls in love with Maggie Mae? Yeah. That would be a good episode. I feel like that's more of a feature. I feel like Maggie Mae is a movie. Yeah. Oh, sure. About the kid. He falls in love with Maggie Mae. Quits school.

Played by Maggie Gyllenhaal. That's how they do it in Hollywood, right? Find somebody with the same name. It's down to Maggie Gyllenhaal or Ralphie Mae. Agents, send me your Maggie's and Mae's. With music by Brian May. But what I was going to say was, so this is the first time I've ever done a thing like this.

Like, I have never... Sounds like the opening of a penthouse forum letter. I mean, sure, I've always fantasized about it. But I've been since going up for, like for auditions for cartoons and stuff like that. And you realize, you're like, oh, everything's garbage. Oh, yeah. Oh, sure. And so, which was not the experience I had with Beatbox. It was like, you know, it's for kids, but it's quite good.

Like, to do something that actually everybody who was involved kind of feels proud of, I'm realizing is a totally exceptional. They're sending you out on Fart Duck, and you're like, wow. So in this episode, Fart Duck gets fart cancer. What? That's a little heavy for kids. And do I play Fart Duck? No, no, no. you're the voice of the tumor

um when you record the voice uh is this like do you just say the the line and then read the next line and then or is there somebody else reading with you in the room what in the auditions no no when you're recording the voice no and for for ours, we were all together. Oh, really? Yeah, so we're all in a booth and you're like in this little half circle and everybody's got their music stands. A semi-circle. Sorry, I'm just dumbing it down for Graham. Thank you.

I would say that half is a dumber version of semi. A demi-circle. Is there any distinction between a semi-circle and a demi circle i don't know full disclosure um i know a demi circle that's where i was trying to go with disclosure yeah maybe not her most famous film that's the most recent like that's the demi more film that's most accessible for me i just saunter past the big room that has a few good men in it.

Well, like in my head, I'm having trouble like figuring out what is... St. Elmo's Fire, G.I. Jane, Strip Cheese. Ghost. Oh, yeah. I've never seen Ghost. Really? Or a ghost. You look like you have.

Yeah. It's a lot of that. That's what she does throughout the movie. But if you're here and he's... I've always assumed that Ghost was about a haunted amusement park. To me, he is the knock over the milk jugs uh uh barker trying to defraud the insurance company that is my favorite comedy sound the

but you that's what bud bud uh but abit no lucas tello. One of the two. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you're on this. We're in a semicircle. In our case, they would, to get us in the mood for the recording, they would pipe through the new version of the song. Oh, cool. So the song that they had recorded, we would dance to it. Why don't we do it in the road? Yeah. And then we would dance.

And Dave, you know, full disclosure, Dave does the why don't we do it in the road episode. And yeah, and so we'd all be in there together. And it was like, there's five of us in the, you know, who are the, the whatever primary cast or leads. And then there were a lot of. It's you. Dan Castellaneta.

Yeah. Hank Azaria, Richard Nixon. Demi Moore. And Demi Moore. What a cast. Yeah. It's a lot of fun. But like, so, you know, our friend Pete

Calamus, he's not one of the bugs but he is several of the um other bugs right so he pete would be in all the time and uh yeah that was a lot of fun and you got to this is the thing when i was growing up that i always like see in magazines like one of the voices from the simpson would stand next to a cardboard cutout of their character. Did you get to do that? I did. That's that's the dream. You get me? How great is that?

Pretty neat. Yeah. Yeah. It was, uh, but now I'm realizing why they do that is because like live action actors, you just go around and people are like, Oh,

you're the cartoon. You're walking around with a cutout. So the people go, you go, Oh, what? Oh, this. Oh, we're going to ask me cartoon. You're walking around with a cutout. So the people go, oh, this? Were you going to ask me why I'm standing next to this? Do you know what would be better is to get people to dress up in mascot costumes of their character for the red carpet. Or for the recording session. Oh, yeah. Really get them in the mood.

A lot of just like costume crinkling sounds. We're going to have to take that again. No, the rubber was rubbing. The rubber was rubbing. Well, the rubber was rubbing. And the phone was like, I feel like that's... Is that a Beatles lyric? Yeah.

From the later Beatles rap. That album we have not touched. Yeah, the one album that nobody ever talks about the Beatles rap the plastic was ticking and like it was I mean

like it's good the Beatles never got back together yeah they would have gone through a really synthy phase in the 80s. Well, yeah. Paul McCartney has like a Kraftwerk song. He does?

Yeah, called Temporary Secretary. Oh, yeah. Also starring Maggie Gyllenhaal. Yes. And so that's gone well. That's good. Yeah, no, it, so that's, that's gone well. That's good. Uh, yeah, no, it was a ton of fun. So hopefully, you know, hopefully we find out ish soon ish, uh, that maybe there'd be more of those, which would be nice.

Cause, uh, it's more money than what I get paid to do now, which is a whole lot of just crying about what's on my horizon. I took a year off of teaching because I was like, well, you know, this has been a lot of fun. This voice acting thing. This has been real. Yeah. And let me see if I can maybe, you know, crack this nut and do some more cartoons. Sure.

And so far, the animation world has been like, ooh, yikes. This was really kind of a one. You're sweet, but this is kind of a one-time thing. So we'll see what happens. It's like, you know, maybe the Simpsons always have kind of guest celebrities come on and do one voice And they're like Nope

This is gonna be This is what I do From now on And they're like No We like Just you being you So Hank Scorpio

He'll be like Part of the family Right? He's been on a lot Albert Brooks Albert Brooks Has been on a million Kelsey Grammer

Basically became Yeah Marsha Wallace I don't think was intended like to be on all the time yeah oh yeah that's right yeah and that's the only voice she does yeah and and someone i think the voice of millhouse is just a one person oh really oh that's cool yeah that's always fun when you look at the like like, there'll be some listicle of, like, who plays the whatever on The Simpsons. And, you know, Hank Azaria's got, like, 43 names. And then it'll be, like, Milhouse.

Yeah, exactly. Well, like, isn't the guy who plays Fat Tony, he's like a guy who plays... Joe Mantegna? Yeah, he plays that kind of guy in movies and TV shows, right? He plays, like, a gangster-y guy. Doesn't he play usually more of a good guy? Joe Mantegna? I don't know.

There should be an IMDB that just divvies up. Good guys and bad guys? Yeah, yeah, exactly. Ooh. But what about the Montran anti-hero? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Man, that was literally the exact question that I was going to ask.

Good wavelengths, guys. Holy moly. Like, you know, you're Walter White. Oh, yeah. Dave Shumka is my Marsha Clark, just one step ahead of me. I'll never get that. You never lost a case. Never lost a case.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, but there's something to that. The IMDB, good guys, bad guys. Well, anti-hero would be its own category, right? Yeah. And then like hero, anti. You know, you're Aunt Jackie. From Roseanne?

From Roseanne, yeah. Anti-hero. Yeah. Anti-heroes. So this is a book that I want to pitch. Sure. Anti-heroes and anti-heroes. Sure. Aunt Viv? Yeah. So you got Aunt Viv that I want to pitch. Sure. Anti-heroes and anti-heroes. Sure.

Aunt Viv. Yeah. So you got Aunt Viv. You got Aunt Jackie. Who are the other great aunts? Who else? I mean, all of the ladies on The Sopranos were called auntie. You know, like Rosalie April was Aunt Ro.

Right. You know, there is a case to be made. I'm trying to think, did any of the Golden Girls have a cameo by a niece or nephew that came on? Surely they must have at one point. Oh, sure. Wasn't one of the Family Matters, wasn't there an aunt on there? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Aunt Sexy.

What was her name? Yeah, Rachel, yeah. Aunt Sexy. They named them like Spice Girls. Did Uncle Leo ever marry? They're Mrs. Uncle Leo. Well, he's got Jeffrey, so theoretically. Okay, so.

Okay, are we still doing this? Aunt Viv, Aunt Jackie, Aunt Ro, Aunt Rachel. And then... But I think that might be... I think that might be the extent of television ants. Have there been evil ones that are... Bad ants. Or anti-anti-heroes?

Anti-anti-heroes There's gotta be some Yeah I feel like There's gotta be Although There's so few Good roles out there For women

Well and for aunts Just in general Sure It seems though Once your brother Or sister Has a child The roles just disappear

You are Hannah And her sister's kids disappear. You are Hannah and her sister's kids. Oh, brother, where art thou and your kids? This is all great. Is it? We're recording earlier

than I think Charlie's ever recorded with us. Yeah, it's 100% true. This is like our morning zoo kind of. Watching The Voice last night. Whoa. Anyone remember Ant Sexy? Boo.

Hold on, hold on. So kids today will never know that world because now radio stations are just like, it's one guy who presses play on like, you know, or whatever. There's like canned announcer speak that's recorded in LA and sent out to 900 different like affiliated stations. They were transported in L.A. and sent out to 900 different affiliated stations. But can you imagine? When we were kids, there were five people all making a living just in the room in the morning going bleep, bleep, bleep. Yeah, like what was the morning crew? The LG Morning Zoo was here. Yeah, with Constable Bob.

I love this already. Constable Bob. The guy, I think Hitman Howie, was he? I honestly don't remember anyone but Constable Bob. I remember LG73 because we had an LG73 bumper sticker and my dad, I may have probably told this story on the podcast before.

I don't think so. My dad won an LG73 morning zoo phone-in contest where it was sponsored by dad's root beer and the Vancouver Canadians, the baseball team, which were triple A at that time. It was actually like just right underneath the pros. Now it's like, you know, 20 year old kids, right? It's like short season, single A. Brexit.

Call back to 10 episodes ago. But we, so we won like tickets to a baseball game. Dad's root beer towels that were in our family for maybe 30 years, like in various shreds. Like they would just get smaller. I know the exact, I'm picturing my equivalent towel that was like a beach towel that then somehow

became a bathroom towel yeah dad's root beer why isn't there aunt's root beer oh yeah this tastes jacky um

but we uh they brought out and then they gave us enough root beer like it was just an amount of root beer. Cause I remember exactly how old I was. Cause we were living in this house that we only lived in for like eight or nine months.

Right. And I was 11 years old. My brother was eight. And it was an amount of root beer that we were like, can, does anyone else, would there be any other kids in the neighborhood who might want this root beer? Like, it was just.

And then we go to the baseball game. Root beer with every meal. Yeah. We go to the baseball game and they're like, root beer for the road? Like, it was just like swimming in root beer. And root beer is one that, like, you know how you can't eat more stoned wheat thins like you think? Right. Root beer, you could have a glass of root beer.

Maybe. Yeah, I think if I had two glasses of root beer, I feel like I was going to die. It's a real tongue browniner. Good for floats, though. I feel like Dad's Root Beer, there was a time when it was everywhere, and now I would be hard-pressed to find Dad's Root Beer. I feel like it was a classy root beer. Like an upper crust. It was Hires and A&W.

But then, they had Dad's Root Beer. Remember when Barks came on the scene? What do you mean? It, uh, cause was it, it was like, uh, it was, this was like an alternative root beer. Oh yeah. Yeah. Well, it had bite. Yeah.

What do you mean? But the, um, well, the glass bottles was the exciting thing about dad's root beer. Cause it was not only in glass bottles, but it was in brown glass bottles. Like a beer. Like a beer. Oh, yeah. And so as a kid, you did the old label rip and stand out in the alley, kind of. Put it in a paper bag.

Yeah. And because you had so much root beer, the other kids were like, I think Charlie's a drunk. He seems to always have a beer. Yeah. Why did you drink it in the morning? much root beer, the other kids were like, I think Charlie's a drunk. He seems to always have a beer. Yeah. Why did you drink it in the morning? Does root beer give you... Oh, never mind. I messed it up.

Any relation between dad's root beer and dad's cookies? Or is dad's just kind of an open concept? Yeah, I think it probably is an open concept. Dad's cookies is local. Really? Yeah. Hey! Where's a bit of local pride that I didn't know to be proud of? There's a plaque. I've seen a plaque somewhere.

Yeah. Not too far from here. Yeah, and it said like on this site used to be the, maybe the first. Is this near City Hall maybe? Yeah, it's near City Hall. Now produced in Shenzhen, China. Thanks to Brexit? Am I doing this right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a melamine cookie. Yeah. A melamine? Yeah, isn't that the toxic thing that ends up in all of our toys? No, I wasn't sure. In all of their toys. Are you guys up on what toxins are in toys?

Because you're both parents and on messaging boards and things? Well, I we only do wooden toys. Yeah, but doesn't that have pine beetles in it? Oh, yes. We do a wooden

playstation. Artisanal tree to table A wooden, artisanal, tree-to-table PlayStation. Actually, it has to be made of the same tree as the table. Yeah. All of our toys, I mean, that's fine for Dave and Abby, I guess. All of our toys are carved out of the same wood as the furniture that the baby's playing on. Oh, so it's all very harmonious. Yeah.

wood as the furniture that the baby's playing on oh so it's all very harmonious yeah all of our toys are carved out of the same tree um the oldest tree in the world the giving tree yep we chopped it down so that margo can have a little duck on wheels um it's uh it's weird that like kids uh not that long ago would have had you know if you grew up in the 20s you would have had a toy you're a kid if you would have and that toy was an influenza uh just gun. And influenza. When I was a kid, we had two toys.

An influenza, period. And the 21st amendment to the United States constitution prohibition was that the 21st I think you're not far off

yeah it's lower 20s oh they needed another amendment to repeal that amendment couldn't you just erase it

no this was pre-eraser that's when I pre-eraser that's when i get most of the amendments until the 14th like 14th amendment abolishes slavery but all the amendments before that are just like no i didn't mean i didn't mean there I meant like there, like belonging to them. Now, how many amendments are there? And how many can we name?

I think I can only name two. I can only name the first. Which is? Isn't that freedom of speech? Sure. Yeah, freedom of speech and assembly. There shall be no law that blah, blah, blah, blah is freedom of speech. The second amendment, most important in my books, is the right to shoot at intruders. And by intruders, I mean anyone around you.

And then that's... Third Amendment, a lot of people don't know. This is the Third Amendment. Just kidding about the last one. And is one of the... We mean, like, the arms of a bear. Yeah. Yeah.

Fourth Amendment, thou shalt honor thy mother and father. Yeah, Fifth Amendment, sloth. Sixth Amendment, sloth from Goonie. This document's crazy. And the fund our forefathers said unto the nation, Hey, you guys! Is that all the amendments we can name? There is the one that gives women the right to vote.

Oh, right. The lady amendment. Written in a beautiful font. Right. Yeah. The Lady Amendment. Written in a beautiful font. It's all really like.

They really girled it up. Yeah. For that one. The only one that's in pink. Big loopy cursive writing. Yeah. All the eyes are dotted with hearts. Yeah.

What a. What a. Patronizing amendment. So there's that one. And I think that comes after, I mean, well, just going historically, that happens after the abolition of slavery. So that's got to be after the 14th. But it happened before prohibition. Oh, yeah.

What was it? Well, ironically linked. So it's probably pretty close because prohibition wasition was mostly kind of a white women's issue. Was that the temperance movement? Yeah. I have not watched the Ken Burns. It's just basically like a lot of ladies worried about their kids' fevers. They said, what do you want?

But what's the most, like, when's the last amendment? I'm looking at the most recent amendment. Oh, we could do this without Google. Just kidding. So why should we? We live in a different country. But back in the day, Constable Bob would have had to. Oh, yeah.

He would have gone, well, the 19th Amendment was the right to call in. And we've got a pair of U2 tickets for the 7th Amendment. Oh, I'm sorry, you're the 5th Amendment. You, you're the 6th Amendment. Most recent amendment? Well, do we want to go through all 27 the right to wi-fi what there's well the first 10 are i came with the constitution oh really they're the bill of rights oh ah i wouldn't have known you know no quartering of soldiers no unreasonable seizures seizures

and shersh's yeah yeah uh no one reason what I, whenever I say epileptic, I say, hey, no unreasonable seizures. You know, the fifth amendment is the one that you don't incriminate yourself. Oh, that's right. I plead it. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Right. Anyway, the 27th amendment.

I remember telling a teacher that when I was in high school. I said, I plead the fifth. And he goes, we don't have that. You're like, one, we live in a different country. Two, we don't have that. You're like, one, we live in a different country. Two, that's not about schools.

Yeah, it's not about homework. The 27th Amendment delays, this was from, okay, this was introduced in 1789

and not ratified until 1992. Okay. Red tape. Am I right? But the fact that you can just have an amendment sitting there for 200 years. When? What was what?

Delays laws affecting congressional salary from taking effect until after the next election of representatives. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. So you can't be like, we all get raises. Yeah. Do it. Like a month before the election. Yeah. And that is a retroactive raise. And in the last month of our salary, we get a billion dollars.

Especially if we're voted out. Also, we're allowed to quarter British soldiers. We get a voted out bonus. If you get voted out, you get a real nice juicy bonus. So that was in 1992. Wow. Arsenio Hall was making a splash. Nike had their

Dan and Dave decathlon campaign. What is that? Rex in effect was shaking rumps across the... They were never more in effect. Or ineffective. That's like the... Did you never more in effect. Or ineffective. That's like the... Did you ever listen to that?

The Brief History of Rock? Or no, the Complete History of Rock and Roll? They would play it on classic rock stations. Were they like 10 minute long things or were they an hour long? I honestly can't remember. I was going to say 45 seconds, so I cannot answer your question.

And when did Rex in Effect figure in to the history of rock? I mean, it was 1992. And that was the year that was. 1992. Silk shirts. Yeah, oh boy. We were all dreaming of wearing silk shirts. And silk boxers.

Yeah. Silk really hasn't come, like, because the 90s look is back with the younger kids. Like, there were two girls at the coffee shop yesterday that looked like Silent Bob. They had the, like, trench coat and duke. And I was like, well, if that, but I haven't noticed the silk shirt. I had two students with round glasses. Oh, really? But not like John Lennon round, like 1990s round glasses.

Like Dwayne Wade. Round glasses. Dwayne Wade. What am I thinking of? Like the guy on Suddenly Susan. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. I would die for that hair.

Like a poofy hair on top. He had a real hair poof. Oh, boy. I mean, I was one. He was a bit of a poof himself. Well, you've met the German homosexual hair poof. Which one was suddenly, because I'm mixing it up with Veronica's closet. I was mixing it up with Caroline in the City.

You know what? I think I might have been thinking of Caroline in the City. Yeah, yeah, because she was the cartoonist, right? Leah Thompson? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What was suddenly soon? Was that Brooke Shields? Yes.

I don't think I watched a second of that. No, I don't think. Well, if it was after a show that I liked. Suddenly it was canceled. Oh, that would have been the headline. Oh, yeah. It's suddenly canceled. Although if it was on between Friends and Seinfeld, I watched it.

Oh, for sure. It's why I've seen every episode of The Single Guy. But we've been re-watching the Larry Sanders show. Yeah. And the 90s, I think, and I noticed this as well, like watching The People vs. O.J. Simpson, like 90s suits. They were pretty black. They were the worst, like that was the worst decade for suit cuts. Because that would be like double-breasted.

Big double-breasted with huge buttons. And just baggy as shit. Like, huge baggy pants. Yeah. And like really colorful, like crazy colorful ties. Yeah. Like those and that, like bold ties. And the thing is, when Courtney B. Vance, who plays Johnny Cochran in the People vs. O.J. Simpson, he looks amazing.

Like it really looks good on him. And I was thinking like, oh my God, could this set off the return of that? Like the way that Mad Men like got the skinny tie, like 60s thing, whatever. Like could the People vs. O.J. Simpson be the return of the double-breasted? Yeah. I hope so. I think we all hope so.

You watch Frasier and you see what they're wearing in those first few. And it's wild. When you look at Elaine's outfits in the early years of Seinfeld, they're insane. They're all insane.

Every outfit she wore is just like... Saddle shoes and a blazer and like a long skirt. I really liked her saddle shoes. Yeah, she had great shoes. But like, no one did, was Frasier a style icon at the time or were men going out and being like, I want to dress with gravitas.

I want an outfit that says, I'm listening. I like this. A crane operator. Like, I just like the idea of a guy operating a crane, but he's wearing a double breasted. He's a crane operator. Yeah. Well, what do you think I made the joke for? I don't know.

I didn't either. I didn't. No, I think he was like, his character was supposed to be impeccably elegant. Right. Yeah. His character was supposed to be impeccably elegant. Right. Yeah. It's funny that post-Frasier, Kelsey Grammer has had this, like, career where he's been with, like, the Expendables and Transformers and X-Men. All projects, I wouldn't imagine the guy who was Frasier would. Is he dumb?

Who, Kelsey Grammer? Yeah. Is he just, like, has a smart voice and he's just fooling everyone? Well, I mean, he doesn't know what to do with those tossed salads and scrambled eggs. That seems pretty like an easy problem to solve. Either eat them or compost. Yeah, I wonder. Because we've always just accepted that he's uh intelligent because he played that character

but i don't think he's maybe i've never heard him outside of well isn't he like didn't he fall off a stage at one point he's insanely insanely right wing like just like over the top like kind of almost john voight right wing so he's got that going so yeah that going for him and he also is uh you know wasn't one of his wives on oh yeah real housewife yeah yeah yeah she was a real house Lilith yeah well let me put this to you in what way in what way is he i mean obviously I know this but but here we go is he is he smart

or do we just think he's smart because he played that character he was he was Frasier Crane almost as much time as he was Kelsey Grammer

you know what I mean like he was for 20 years he was this dude yeah at a certain point you kind of swallow that up into your You know what I mean? Yeah. Like he was for 20 years. He was this dude. Yeah. At a certain point, you kind of swallow that up into your, like, you know. Your being.

Your being. Well, kind of like how, like, every other movie or role that John Goodman's in is he's basically playing Dan Conner. A shade of Dan Conner. Yeah. And then the other ones, he's playing Walter Sobchak. Yeah. Yeah. But, you know, he was in Transformers the most recent one too and his robot is like is that literally what they called it Transformers the most recent one yeah

and then next one's called Transformers the next one they don't care yeah the following again with the Transformers uh still still transforming The following again with the Transformers Still transforming Apostrophe But the apostrophe is a little Decepticon face Well I should be branding

Yeah yeah When they make a Transformer amendment They'll dot all the I's with a Decepticon face What's the language of an amendment? Cause I was about to say that I thought you were going to ask what's the language of a Decepticon No. What's the language of an amendment? Because I was about to say that. I was about to say you were going to ask what's the language of a Decepticon. No, I think it is like, no law shall be made. Blah, blah, blah.

So it's Shally kind of. Yeah. Yeah. Shally Long. Shally Duvall. It's Shally and Long. Shally Long. I don't think they're that long.

I don't know. I've only read the Wikipedia ones. Um, what are the ones pertaining to Wikipedia? Yeah. No laws shall be made. That references a Wikipedia because those can be changed. I don't know if we have,

do we don't, are we going to ask for a Canadian amendment? Well, we have them. I just don't know what they are. No, I don't know what they are. I think they get just made.

They're just in the thing. Yeah, they get put into. So, like, for instance, I think, like, transgender rights. I know this just happened in BC, but I don't know if it's happened federally yet. But, like, just language gets added to the clause that pertains to that. Right. So they'll just, it's more of a cut and paste approach. Sure.

It's very Wikipedia. Rather than like, yeah, it's again with the amendments. And we don't have just one document that's a constitution. It's made up of, you know, the British North America Act of 1867 and the 1982 Charter of Rights. If you see the original, it's all white out. Yeah. Fix this later. And I think there's parts of the Constitution that aren't even written down.

It's just like convention. Yeah. Oh, really? Yeah. That's in the United Kingdom. They don't have a written Constitution. But I think there are parts of ours that are just... Thou shalt Brexit.

That's one of the understandings. Thou shalt Brexit. Yeah. Brexit. Most's one of the understandings. Thou shalt Brexit. Brexit! Most important meal of the day! That's in there. Mm-hmm. Bangles and mash. Yeah. Yeah. Let's go out for a morning constitutional.

That's where we walk and talk about what our rights ought to be. And these voice auditions are not going well. Oh, David! That's a mean thing to say. I'm the littlest guy in the building. Yeah, what are you going to make of a story for him? I'm the littlest guy in the building. It's from the new Herman's Hermits show.

That's a good start. Okay, Charlie. from the new Herman's Hermits show. That's a good start. Okay, Charlie. The part you're reading for is the littlest guy in the building. He lives with his aunt. I'm the littlest guy in the building, but my aunt sexy don't have a clue. That's good.

There's something there. there Dave what's going on with you man guys yeah so that's what's going on with me and sexy let's see I had one

this house that I live in it's very very very fine one day how many cats in the ark? Just two.

No one knows the following lyrics. Oh, do you want it? I do. Our house was a very, very fine house with two cats in the ark. Life used to be so hard. Life used to be so hard. Now everything is easy because of you.

I'll light the fire while you place the flowers in the vase that you bought today. Crosby, Stills, and Nash, better without Young. So there's no obstacle in that song. Like it's pure. We did it. Yeah, we did it. Like, so glad we made it. Yeah.

On this song. It's two and a half minutes long. Do you need, how much character development do you need? Well, no, I don't, like, but it just feels like a real victory lap. Oh, it's a song about privilege. Yeah. We did it. Yeah, we have a house.

Cats. Done. Check it. Yeah. Let's burn our mortgage or whatever. Yeah. This house was for about... In the middle of your stream?

This house. It was just like an epicenter of bad luck for... Oh, no. But for a very short time and sort of depending... It could be really good luck depending on how you look at it. Sure. We had one night, it was,

uh, we're recording this the day after labor day. So it was on labor day weekend. And I think it was Sunday morning at four in the morning. Abby woke me up and she said, there's some coughing outside our front door. And, Oh,

I read a tweet about this. And I was like, uh, first of of all she had woken me up in the middle of the night and i was in the first few seconds i was like what the baby's coughing what do you want yeah no no no no there's someone coughing outside our door and they would cough every six minutes so we would wait and listen here Ear? Nope, nothing yet. Like a smoker's cough? Kind of thing. Okay.

And just someone who kind of had a bit of a cough. Sure. And so we didn't know what to do. No one, we didn't want to. No, it's a Kafka-esque situation. Well, mostly I didn't want to do anything about it. You're like, so what? He's coughing.

Yeah. Let him cough. You know what? I'm going to put a lozenge through the mail slot. And then about 20 minutes later, the baby woke up furious. Oh, no. And so. I'm the only one who coughs around here.

And she was wide awake at 4.30 in the morning. And so we had to kind of sort that out. Meanwhile, Abby thought she heard some footsteps walking away from our front door. And so she was happy that the cougher was gone. Right. And then the, so she sat up with the baby from 4.30 to 6.30 when she heard a man get up who had been asleep on our porch. Oh, okay. She looked outside and he had been using our welcome mat as a pillow, all folded up.

Wow. So, really? Taking that to the letter of the mat. Yeah, I was like, wow. Well, I mean, if it's that nice a welcome mat. If it shows that, if you guys ever have to take this to court, that's exhibit A for his team. Yeah. What is this thing? You're on.

I'm asking literally, what is this thing? So I got up a little bit after that, and Abby went back to bed, and I took Margo out. And when I took her outside, I put her in a fun little wagon she likes. Yeah. And just got to the front of the house, and I saw that someone had wiped themselves and left the toilet paper on our lawn. Oh, man. Oh, this is...

That's unwelcome, Matt. Yeah. I'm just assuming this guy's name is Matt. And so... And then also... I think I could handle that. I'd have to move cities someone's car had been broken into as well and i don't think any of these things are related

well like they you think it sounds like the toilet paper and coffee sleeps a lot probably or there's one in the same coffee sleeps a lot was Pam Greer's sexiest role. But the guy who is not prepared for sleep, for where he's going to sleep somehow is prepared enough to bring toilet paper with him. Yeah, you're right. There's

some inconsistencies in this. I mean, it's easier to get toilet paper than it is to find a bed. Sure. So. Well, I use air pee and poo. Air pee and poo, is that what it was? Yeah.

That's pretty good. Do you anywhere on your property have some of those hobo carvings that tell other hobos? Not that I know of. I don't know where to look. Yeah, a good place to leave toilet paper and hobo carvings. The guy who lives in this house is afraid of conflict. So sleep where you like. Now, it's one of these things that I've often wondered, like, how come homeless people don't do that?

Like, sleep on people's porches or whatever, because I'm like... I would imagine it's probably a high-risk endeavor. Like, for every sit-inside-for-a-few-hours-timing-coughs response, you'll, timing coughs. Right. There's somebody who comes in with a baseball bat. Yeah. Yeah. So. We have people often sleep in, we've got like an overhang kind of semi-enclosed parking at our complex. Right. Like it's covered, but it's not locked.

And that's a bit of a, you know, of all the places to sleep, uh, if you're someone who has to sleep outside, it's not a bad, um, choice. Right. And I'm always conflicted of the feeling of like, well, I don't want to be the guy who shoes away. Yeah. But then I also, but then it's also like, yeah, but we also do live here. Yeah. And, uh, yeah then it's also like, yeah, but we also do live here. Yeah. And, uh, yeah, there's kids and yeah. So it's never a fun, um, choice that, uh, society has allowed us to make.

There's a, like, so what do you do? I guess. So what can you do about this? I, well, I mean, I, what I should have done is called the non-emergency police i guess yeah you drive by and just make sure there's not a guy choking on vomit right yeah yeah right right yeah i guess that i guess right because it didn't even occur to me at the time that he might be in distress right or or whatever i mean if he was only coughing a little bit then he was probably all right i think i don't know uh it's hard to say do you think he was uh like a homeless guy or just

guy maybe it was really really i think a really really drunk guy and he just was like because there's a porch i'll just sleep on this porch oh my, my sympathy just plummeted. Oh, yeah. My sympathy stocks just, I was thinking, you know, tubercular, hard done by, if this is just somebody on the way home from a bar or something. I think that's what it was. Oh, yeah, that's not. Range rising. There was nothing. He hadn't like, you know, carried a bunch of stuff up the stairs. Right.

Oh, yeah. He was just a guy. He was just a guy. He was just a guy who. Now, do we know this wasn't Abby's ex? Well. I mean, you guys have only been together for. 16 years. 16 years.

Yeah. So, here's this guy. He's nursing a preteen heart heartbreak and a bad cough well not the worst cough pretty bad yeah pre-teen well teen teen yeah yeah teen maybe abby was dating a younger man i mean it's possible yeah yeah she had her groove back um but yeah, no, it was like, when I say it was unlucky or bad luck, it was bad luck for the guy who got his car broken into. Yeah. It was bad luck for me having to put on some gloves and pick up some toilet paper. Oh, man.

To me, that's the worst of the three. And it was good luck for the guy finding a place to sleep in. That's a worst of the three. And it was good luck for the guy finding a place to sleep in. That's a generous reading. I mean, by that logic, it was good luck for the guy who found a place to shit. Well, it was. Yeah, that's fair. And it was good luck for the guy who found a car to break into. Yeah.

Well, and you know, if bird pooping on you is good luck, a human wiping on your lawn, I mean, I owe you about a lottery today, dude. Yeah. Huh. Huh. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry to hear that, man. That's enough, couple days. Now, I won't entertain any more conversation on the topic.

Sure. Because I really want to hear about Graham. Oh, sure. Because I know something interesting happened to him i this past weekend i went to uh nashville tennessee home of nash bridges yep and uh all my exes live in texas that's why i went to tennessee um and uh there's a an annual thing it's uh the Beard and Mustache Championships that I guess moves to different cities.

Like the Olympics. Yeah. It only happens every four years. NBC has the exclusive broadcast rights. Total cronyism. People sneaking bags of whatever into their beard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Using illegal thickeners.

I think it's a reason for these guys that all have crazy beards to get together and party. It's like an Olympics where Italy does well. And this PR company called me and said like like we found your beard paintings

online. We Googled beard. Yeah. And this, you came up and so they, so would you come down and do these beard paintings as like, um, like we have kind of a booth set up and like, you would be the, the kind of attraction in the booth. Wow. And then they had drink tickets that they gave away.

And I was like, yeah, I'll do that. Wait, you said, I'll do it for the drink ticket. Well, and they had other things like they're like, yeah, like at one point there's a parade that you'll have to march in. And I was like, oh, the fact that you're using have to in that sentence, I would have, if I found out, I would have put myself forward. Also, if you're homosexual, we will provide you with a beard. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, there was a couple of those guys that didn't have beards, but I was like, hey. Sorry, I meant the sense of a woman who you pretend is your lover so that no one suspects you're sexual. We got it. Okay, I wasn't implying that gay people can't grow beards. Oh, no. I think quite the opposite.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Bear with me. So it was held at the historic. Do they have the right to bear arms? Yeah, absolutely they do. You have the right to bear arms wrapped around you. That's the nice version that we all want.

Well, especially. Yeah. Yeah. But it was held in the Ryman Auditorium, which is home of the Grand Old Opry. What? Yeah. Wow. It was like, it used to be a church back in the 1800s, and then it was renovated to be

a theater, and it's still the same seats. Wow. It's all pews. No, I believe you. I'm like, why is this at the Grand Wall? I know. It's kind of the place in town. If you're going to do an event or a show you're gonna be at the rhyman auditorium jesus

i remember when you were performing in the rubik the riconium yeah yep and uh good one come on it does sound like scooby saying diamond yeah and uh uh and it was fun of course it was so amazing yeah and uh like uh the day before the event we got to go on a tour of the auditorium we uh myself and uh the organizers of the event and the people from the pr agency were there any other people like you who were hired to be, you know, notable beardos? There were other, like, people that were vendors. They were there, but I think I was the only... Vim vendors?

Yeah, vim vendors was there. I can't think of anybody else with the last name vendors. Ant vendors. Yeah, vending machine. The last air vendor. The last air vendor. Air vendor. Um,

air. Uh, um, but yeah, we got to go on a tour of the Ryman auditorium. They had, you know, in backstage, they had autographed headshots from,

holy shit. And so they, WC fields headshot and, uh, Johnny cash and, uh, Hank Williams and, uh, Patsy Kleiny klein like all you know and that's

the thing about nashville country music scene in nashville i mean it's kind of wc field um but it's this the town like all the places that were there during the the old days of country music are still there. They're still in the same place and they still have the same stuff on the walls. Yeah. And apparently you don't watch Nashville. I don't. I've never seen Nashville, but I saw that episode of Master of None where they go to Nashville.

Okay. And there's a scene where he goes to a place and tries on like the rhinestone cowboy jackets. So I went to that place. Yeah. And this is a guy who made like stuff for Elton John and Johnny Cash and all these kind of people. And he usually he has this set of 50 jackets. He made one for every state and they tour museums and they just happen to be home in the store. Oh, wow. Yeah. so i got to see all

those and i was the only guy in the store and uh while i was there there was a girl working on something in the back room i saw her knock over a container of rhinestones i was like oh boy i bet that happens here all the time what a glamorous thing to clean up and this is the thing that I didn't know it would look like a Liberace murder scene to walk in

with rhinestones all over the place I mean those rhinestones all over the place. I mean, those rhinestones, I won't wear them because a lot of them come from... Yeah, blood rhinestones. Yeah, rhinestones is what I'm going for. Yeah. I was going to try and make a Judge Reinhold blood rhinestones show. Well, let's try and make that happen. I mean, before we move forward. But this is the thing.

Ryan Holder sounds Scooby-Doo, says. Nashville, apparently, is to kind of bachelorette parties what Vegas is to bachelor parties. Oh. So on the weekends there. That's a better deal for bachelorettes. It's more interesting, isn't it? Yeah. And the weekend there is the main street is Broadway.

And it's packed. With brides. End to end with bachelorette parties. And they have these mobile bars. Oh. So you sit around this bar. And there's a bartender in the middle of it and a driver up front and they drive you up and down the street and they're playing music and they're singing and it's like saturday night it was the you know what we would have on like our Granville Street, that same area, like that same amount of area, but quadruple the amount of people.

Jesus. They had to have crosswalks that have the standard four crossings and then cross in the middle of the intersection because there's so many people drunkenly trying. How long were you there for? I was there three days three days yeah and did you get to have any good fun like southern food like as a vegetarian yeah you don't get i guess the state the things that they're like known for but did you get to have like grits i had i had biscuits i had cornbread i had Oh yeah cornbread A big thing there is Pimento cheese

So Sounds good to me Had that Had You know The baked beans Made in the place Oh sure

Baked beans Pit beans I don't know What are What are pit beans Just kind of rub them On your arm Oh sure

Sure yeah I think I had that I think pit beans Are like you're making meat, and then you... You accidentally make beans. You read the recipe wrong. Oh, it's supposed to be meat. Yeah. No, it's like your meat is doing several laps and pulls in and...

Pit beans fix it up. Oh, my God. doing several laps and pulls in and you got pit beans fix it up. Oh my god. This was sponsored by Just for Men. The hair coloring mustache colorant

product. Yeah. Yeah. Somebody hasn't heard about the whatever amendment. What? Like I met, because I was calling back to the lady amendment earlier.

Oh, right. Yeah. Just for men. Like voting was once just for men. That's right. Moving on. Did you get to see Keith Hernandez and Walt Frazier? Clyde Frazier?

Don't know what the, what is that? They're the two guys from the Just for Men commercial. Oh. Also Seinfeld. Yeah. Oh yeah. Also I guess Keith and Ed, it was like a big baseball player. Elaine dated him, right? Yeah. Yeah. People of our level of masculinity know him from Seinfeld.

No, I didn't, I didn't, I saw a lot of guys that are champions, beardsmen. Okay. No gray, huh? I guess everybody's, if it's just for men, although just for men now does the. Salt and pepper.

A little gray. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's what you're supposed to do because otherwise it's very obvious. It just looks like a marker. Yeah. It's like Groucho Marx. It just looks like a marker.

Yeah. It was like Groucho Marx. And it was, I would highly recommend Nashville to anybody for like, it's a fun, even if you don't like country music or whatever, every single bar has live music. Like even the hotel bar. That's pretty neat. Live music. I'm trying to sleep. That's true. We were in Cuba and there was like'clock in the afternoon. I'm trying to sleep. That's true.

We were in Cuba, and there was live music in the lobby, and it's like, ooh, sultry. Yeah. And then it's like fucking 2 in the morning. You're like, let's sultry it down a notch. These aren't Dirty Dancing Havana nights. Yeah. It's also hot as hell there. Oh, hot. All right.

The South is unbelievable. Yeah. I remember I was in Atlanta like, now it's like 13 years ago. So maybe it's cooled down. But that seems to be the kind of trend uh but uh i remember like being at a wedding and like dancing uh i'm quite a wedding dancer and i've worked up a bit of a sweat and i go just gonna go sit outside for a sec and then you forget because you're like yeah you're in the canadian mind of like i'll go outside it's colder. And then you walk outside and it's like 20 degrees hotter.

And then you panic. Yeah, like it was hot there. But the people from the advertising agency are all from Atlanta. So to them, this was a cool, breezy summer. Yeah, yeah. You know, like 32 degrees Celsius. They were like, oh, so so nice i was like it's i'm dying um i saw that you posted a few pictures from the just or uh retweeted a few

just for men by the way you didn't get just for laughs this year no but i did get just for men. You're doing JFM. I'm in the new faces. Yeah. Hairy faces. They posted a few, I think, I counted,

they posted eight pictures from the event on their Twitter and you were in six of them. Yeah. You were quite a draw.

I was the main draw. Literally, he was drawing with his beard. Did people the main draw. Literally, he was drawing with his beard. Did people buy your paintings? No, I'll auction them off on eBay. eBay, actually.

It's just for men. Yeah, it's just for men. Finally. An eBay for us. You're tired of bidding against women. For somewhere to sell all my Keithith hernandez memorabilia because i'm a man uh her mandez keep his mandez oh we're the worst also this is the one thing about being in that area is because if I hear like a Southern accent on TV, I don't care about it.

But in person, it is the instantly most charming. It's wild. Yeah, the guy from the guy that was just the hotel check-in clerk. I was like, oh, this is the most well-spoken man I've ever met in my life. And it's weird that it's so charming because you don't know it from good stuff. Not necessarily. Living in Canada and watching history or like movies, it's rare that like the white southerner is the good guy. Just looking back over these amendments we've mentioned and what they fought against. Come on, y'all. We gotta

segregate this school. Aww. But in person, it's so... Oh my god. Yeah, it's beautiful. It's so charming. Anyway, so yeah, I went. I went to Nashville. Chased a dream.

Oh, yeah. Released an album while I was there. For sure. It's called Cadillac Blues. Graham Clark sings Lurleen Lumpkin. Yeah, it was really fun. And you know what? I learned a thing or two. Do we want to move on to overhears?

Let's do that. What's the deal with Brexit? Have you seen Happy Valley yet? How do British people pronounce Edinburgh, Leicester, or Norwich? Not like that. Are you tired of getting your world news from reliable sources, often with no puns or sexual innuendo? Why was there a butcher's hat haunting Coronation Street?

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right now at MaximumFun.org. Overheard. Overheard. It's a segment in which we hear... I just want to interrupt. Oh, yes.

Apologize to Crosby, Sills, Nash, and Young. Neil Young was in Crosby, Sills, Nash, and Young Neil Young was in Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young When our house came up Oh He was That's big of you And I think

Neil Young will appreciate I would like to Thank you Dave Apologize to the families of Graham Nash Yeah And Stephen Stills And Steve Nash

Steve Nash And Nelly Furtado Yeah Melissa Etheridge's baby. David Crosby. Yeah, the family of David Crosby, sure. And Neil Young. I got to shake Neil Young's hand.

And. How's his handshake? Softest hands in the world universe. Oh, yeah. The only person who's famous person who's, and any person whose hands I've ever shaken them were softer were the hands of Alexander McCall Smith, the author of the number one ladies detective agency mystery novels. Real, real, real. What would you call it? Is there an expression for soft hands?

I don't know, but I will argue that he's a famous person. No, Alexander McCall Smith, if you were both like 58-year-old women, like you'd be touching my hand. We'd be throwing our undergarments at you. Yeah, if you were sexy. Our bloomers. If you were great aunt sexy. But his hands were so soft, shaking his hand felt obscene.

And it was like touching a breast. His hands were that big and soft. That to me makes sense. This is Neil Young? No, but Neil Young was almost as soft. And what I don't understand is Alexander McCall Smith is, he's from like a fairly aristocratic family and he's a writer. He's done nothing with his hands the whole of his life.

So I get it. It probably has calloused fingertips. Neil Young plays guitar. Yeah. His hands should be like grabbing a stool. I had to do that the other day. I'm not so wrong. Yeah. His hands should be like grabbing a stool. I had to do that the other day. I'm not so wrong.

Very soft hands. Now, overheards, we hear. Oh, I thought this was a soft hand update. It was. And it's drawn to a close. We always like to start overheards with the guest. You're feeling like don't have one but then you were going through your notes yeah i was going through i was going through my notes on uh on my cell phone because sometimes i'll do that i'll go uh well they'll probably have me on again one day and if i like i'll write it down if i um but i also find hubris. I don't, um, since becoming a father, like one, I have a car.

Uh, so I'm not out with the people to the extent that I used to be. Um, and also you're just like, you're so focused on your own life or you have your headphones in. I feel like I rarely overhear anybody, but I'm going down through, you know, my notes in my phone, some of which are completely incomprehensible. Like the one that I just showed you, which is from December 2014 and literally just says tears for animals. I wrote this down on December 19th, 2014 tears for animals. Um, but so I did write down one thing. That's not really, I mean, it's, I guess it's kind of an overheard, but it's my own kid, but it was just to me, I thought it was the, so my daughter as listeners of the show will know she's half, um, Chinese or her. So her, both of her maternal grandparents are from Hong Kong.

And we were, we were in Seattle, Seattle. We were in San Francisco a couple months ago and we were in Chinatown in San Francisco. And this was, we went to the fortune cookie factory where they make fortune cookies and we're in an alleyway in chinatown and a pigeon flies by not only chinese people are going to enjoy this but um a pigeon flies by right in front of my uh daughter like right in front of her and she goes which is uh a chinese Chinese like declamation like if you what's an English declamation?

maybe declamation is the word I'm talking about the declamation of independence the various amendments there too but like an exasperation like if you're like whoa yeah whoa

yeah whoa is the exact... Ay-yo! So, where in the town would you say ay-yo? I'm walking here. Well, Genghis Khan and Marco Polo actually had a famous ay-yah-hey-yo exchange in the court of Kublai Khan. No, why would it be the court of Kublai Khan if Genghis Khan is alive? Jesus, this is a real I should have just passed but anyway so she goes yeah which is uh Chinese and I shouldn't be doing

this in episode 444 yeah no Chinese people are listening it's bad luck but it was to me I wrote it down because I was not like this is this is the most Chinese moment of her life. Nothing will ever get more Chinese than a pigeon flying in front of her and her going, Ah-ya! Outside of a fortune cookie factory. In Chinatown. In Chinatown. That's as best I could do for an old woman. I mean, maybe if instead of a pigeon it was a dragon.

Theoretically. I just wonder if at the end of the day at the fortune cookie factory, do they check everybody's pockets to make sure they're not stealing fortunes? Yeah. Taking them home and putting them up on the fridge. Honey, I got the lottery numbers.

It's called the fortune... That was very funny. It's called the fortune cookie factory. It's a family storefront. Like, it's literally, like, it's about the size of this room. Oh, okay. People all day come in. They walk around.

You're supposed to put in, like, a buck or something to kind of see it. Right. And they're just making fortune cookies, which taste amazing, and they smell even better. Like, it's incredible. But it's just this kind of... I've never had a good fortune cookie, like, that well these are like right off the like literally they've just made them but they're also it's still san francisco so there is also a huge section of x-rated um when you say san francisco you mean the novelty store from the mall

yeah you know there's a mug with a gorilla holding a banana. You take off the banana. Okay, dicks out for Harambe. Oh, yeah. That's something that I noticed when I was stateside is the Harambe jokes are everywhere. People are wearing Harambe shirts, and there was a Harambe flag in somebody's window, and on the elevator, the very first day, a girl and boy were talking, and the girl said, I have something to tell you.

And the boy said, is it that you killed Harambe? Jesus. Why are they? Well, there's a great Ethiopian restaurant on Commercial Drive in Vancouver called Harambe that's been there for like a million years. And I had just landed. I forget where I was. I was flying in from someplace on the road. This is the day Harambe was shot.

We all remember where we were. Yeah, yeah. 11-22-63. But I was driving home from the airport and I was like, ah, you know, I could really go for some Ethiopian food. I'm really hungry. And I Google, because I didn't have the number handy, so I Googled Harambe. And I was the only guy who did that totally innocently on that. Like, on that, it's just all these pictures of this gorilla show up on the, I was just trying to order food.

And they're like, and I don't, I'm not in the mood for gorilla meat. He has really stuck in the imagination much more than Cecil the lion, for instance. Oh yeah. I forgot all about that. Who disappeared almost instantly.

But yeah, Harambe is like, I don't know. Or that kid who got eaten by an alligator in like a pretty similar situation a week later yeah in the we remember disneyland yeah yeah yeah you know it's weird like those like remember the balloon boy yeah we were in the we were at city tv when that happened we were still developing the list. We were in that weird room at the end of the long hallway.

And Balloon Boy was so huge. And he was, what was it? He wasn't in the balloon? No, he was never in the balloon. Yeah. And yet he still gets to be called Balloon Boy. He should have been called Crouching in the Living Room Boy. Is that the Ang Lee movie?

When you order... Oh, boy. That was quite the declamation. When you order Ethiopian food, do you ever ask them if they know it's Christmas? Jesus Murphy. Now that's a declamation. Jesus Murphy was born on Christmas Day.

He was born on Irish Christmas Day. I'm Jesus Murphy. Dave, do you have a Christmas? Do you have an overheard? I do. Here he goes, here he goes. All right, so Abby and I were in Los Angeles a couple of weeks ago. Mm-hmm.

And in the airport. Ugh. Headed home. We had just gone through security, having a bite to eat at the Barney's Beanery Pub. Yeah. And I saw a woman who had just come through security wearing a clear backpack like made out of i guess that kind of plastic like shower curtain plastic yeah yeah and all it had inside it was a red box of cheez-its so i'm wondering i'm wondering what is the security process like for someone with a clear backpack?

You still have to take it off, and they're just like, rules are rules. You did our job for us. Thank you. We need you to put your clear backpack inside a zip lock bag. If you x-ray a clear backpack, does it go, like, see through time? And also that she's just traveling with a box of crackers. Yeah. Well, flights, you know?

Well, yeah. LAX is one of those places where you've been told so many times how horrible it is and you think, well, it can't possibly be as bad as everyone says it is. And it's worse.

Once you're inside, I think it's fine. It's that sort of drop-off pickup area. But if you... Yeah, it's worse. Once you're inside, I think it's fine. It's that sort of drop-off pickup area. But if you... Yeah, it's pretty bonkers. I was in a shuttle. We had to fight the counter staff of American Airlines to get on it. Like, we flew down to LA, like, maybe a month and a half ago for the...

Beat Bugs? For the Beat Bugs premiere. You had to get that cardboard slug through security. Exactly. Well, it was the only thing in my clear bag. Uh, yeah, no lady, the cheese. It's we'll have to go in a separate tray. It's like laptops.

If you have any crack cheese, it's laptops in a different universe. L universe laptops could have been a name for a cracker um so yeah you're right but like uh we get anyway it's not a funny story but it's just like and we literally had this like um if if we hadn't, we would have been stuck in LA for two more days. I'll let Kurt Russell. Well, I think that's the plot. Uh, and we're like running through the, uh, airport full home alone. Um, and then we get there and the flight's delayed by 45 minutes or something like that. And we just sit there in stinking of LA sweat.

And you've just run to that Christmas song that they play in all the Christmas movie trailers. Do you know it's Christmas time right now? That is going to be my, every year I do one prank call on Christmas. And this year it's going to be at an Ethiopian restaurant. Hello Harambe, is your fridge running. Wait, that's all new? Yep. Hello Harambe is your fridge running.

Well, I'm glad you waited until Christmas for this. Yeah, I don't want to blow it now. It makes more sense around Christmas. Well, tonight, thank God it's them instead of you. Oh, thank God. Yeah. That was me instead of them. What a voice, though.

Yeah. Really great. It's true. Graham. Yes. Do you want to hear any more of bono's parts from that song i think i'm good i feel good uh any overheard from you yeah yeah i uh uh as part of this trip to nashville uh they sent a car to pick me up i thought thought you were saying they sent, like, I heard

sent, and I was waiting for a smell story. Yeah, yeah, yeah, they sent I can't finish that sentence. Is your fridge running? Is your fridge running? I, so the guy that picked me up is like an old guy, has been in Nashville

as a driver for like 10 plus years, and he's driven around a lot of singers because a lot of singers live there like jack white and the black keys and they all have houses there and only the black and white yeah yeah checkerboard gang yeah uh uh king me and he was telling me like most of the people when they're uh done doing it like they'll do these kind of like surprise shows at these little bars like when they're done doing an album yeah they or they'll just because they live in town and they'll just come down one night and do a show and whoever happens to be in the bar gets to see, you know, this big country star or whatever.

And he said, usually. They can see big country. Yeah. They want the car parked right behind the exit so that they can just go straight off stage into the car and drive away. And he said, there's only one guy that's like the pure exception to this rule. And he's a guy who lives part of his time in nashville and it's he said it's steven tyler he will make me drive down the main street and he'll open up both of the windows and stick his head out the window go hi everybody everybody knows he's there he's like

so he just told me that and i thought thought it was really funny, that nobody enjoys being famous more than Steven Tyler. That's actually really endearing. Yeah. That he just, everywhere he goes,

he wants it to be a party. Yeah. There's, here in Vancouver in the summertime, they put out public pianos for people to play.

Oh, yeah, yeah. And there's one, they did it in Kelowna, B.C., and there's a video of Steven Tyler just going up to one of these random pianos for people to play yeah yeah and there's one they did it in Kelowna BC and there's a video of Steven Tyler just going up to one of these random pianos in Kelowna and playing uh what was it Sweet Emotion and and like I'm sure just like guys can you believe that Steven Tyler is doing this can you believe I'm doing this yeah it was Dream On sorry it was Dream On oh I want to hear, what was the song you said?

Sweet Emotion? Sweet Emotion on piano. Sweet Emotion on piano. That'd probably be pretty great. He did Walk This Way on piano with the rap parts. They never did an unplugged, did they, Harold Smith? When the unplugged series was super popular? No, they refused on principle.

Yeah, they were like, we are always plugged in. Yeah, we were like, we are always plugged in. Yeah, we love electricity. Yeah, the electricians, the International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers were like, Aerosmith, Aerosmith.

These albums are killing us. People are using less and less electricity now. We was lucky to make it through the unplugged face. Now we also have overheard sent into us, not sent as in the smell.

Wafted over to us. If you want to send one in to us, you can send it to SPY at Maximum Fun. Oh, I thought you were going to say they sent an odor. SPY at MaximumFun.org. This first one comes from Ashley in St. Louis, Missouri. I was at the gym and a trainer nearby was talking to his client about the trend of gender reveal parties, I guess, for kids.

Oh, with the cakes? Except he couldn't remember what these parties were called, so he ended up calling them baby sex parties. It's the hottest trend right now for mothers to be oh uh that's pretty good no uh this next one comes from mark uh this part's unknown uh my son told me That's a gender reveal party. After, my son told me after going to a friend's birthday party, the kid was around four years old and said, I do not like Chuck E. Cheese. His singing makes my tummy hurt. I mean, you know, it's kind of a sad one, actually, when you think that

there's so few places today where a kid can be a kid. That's why I put this over here. Because I knew that that's what you were going to say. Places where a kid can be a kid. Schools. Like, that's my dream family family feud scenario is they call me up and it's places where a kid can be a kid the other team goes schools parks and then i get the steal and i just

by this time i've put on sunglasses and i take them off and I go, Chuck E. Cheese. Survey says, kid, kid, kid, kid, kid, kid, kid, kid, kid. Good answer. Good answer. Do you know, have you ever heard of the band Bowling for Soup? Uh-huh. The lead singer of that band is the current voice of Chuck E. Cheese. For some reason. The voice of him.

Like the, that sings in the restaurants and is in the commercials. The guy, the lead singer of Bowling for Soup. That's his side gig. And he does, does he do My Karate Kid? Probably. He probably does a lot of the Weird Al-esque Chuck E. Cheese hits. Are there still Chuck E. Cheeses in Canada? Mm-hmm.

Where's the closest one edmonton bro i don't know is there is there might be one in the suburbs here yeah it's a it's like a crazy i don't know it's a casino for children right i mean like that's the feel it's like if you've ever been to Circus Circus in Las Vegas. Yeah. That's just add a pizza smell. And a rat. Yeah. I mean, the degree of happiness associated with it. When you're a kid, you have no idea how squalid things are. What, a Chuck E. Cheese?

Like, I would describe a Chuck E. Cheese as squalid. What, a Chuck E. Cheese? Like, I would describe a Chuck E. Cheese as squalid. It had a real crushed velvet baby sex party vibe. I don't remember it because we didn't, in Calgary, we had a place that was like Chuck E. Cheese called Bullwinkle's. Oh, yeah, you've told me about that before. And it was very like a dark nightclub for kids. Could a kid be a kid there? No.

Believe you me. Do we want to, I'm just going to look up where the closest one is. Do we want to go? Yeah, sure. It's in Langley. Langley. It's weird. That makes sense.

The last time I went, like I. For American listeners, we're talking about Langley, Virginia. Yeah. Headquarters of the CIA. Yeah, sure. Where a kid can't be a kid. Yeah. I know a place where a kid can covertly act like a child.

Where a kid can monitor Jason Bourne. Chuck E. Cheese singing a song about Treadstone. This last one comes from Brendan D. from Toronto I was at a Popeyes in Toronto While waiting for my food I overheard some teens arguing about someone's ethnicity They went back and forth until one of them

went, no man, he's white He's like Batman white Meaning his parents are dead went, no, man, he's white. He's like Batman white. Meaning his parents are dead. Yeah. Well, yeah. Batman does have those black eyes, though. That's true.

He never doesn't do that, because I guess that would look really silly with the mask to have not darkened. Just white skin around. It would be, we need a scene in an upcoming Batman where he's taken off the cowl, but he hasn't yet taken off the eyes and he's been crying. Like, so Alfred comes in and Batman's just all the running mascara down his cheeks. And he's like, I just don't understand why I can't catch the Joker. The Batmobile broke its wheels. But I never realized that.

I never even thought about that until now that in the movies where he takes off the helmet or cowl, then he never has the makeup on. When he takes it off, does it hang back like a hoodie? Yeah. Sometimes he wears it

with a sports coat. When Ben Affleck played the background. It was with a long pea coat and the cowl as a hoodie. Just a floppy rubber hood in the back with big pokey ears. There is a...

Have you seen the most recent movie? No. Which one? The Ben Affleck one? Yeah, Batman vs. Superman. There's a whole dream sequence where he's in the Batman costume and he has a trench coat on over top of it. It's very weird that he would dream himself

in Batman costume in another costume. That's pretty cool. Yeah, I guess it's pretty cool. I'll see you. I mean, some people say that David Chase did his best work on The Sopranos, but I say no. It was directing Batman vs. Superman. Yo, did he?

Yeah. No. Yeah. What? Revenge of Gabagool. Yeah. No. Yeah. What? Revenge of Gabagool.

Raz El Gabagool. In addition to overhearses that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you would like to call us, our phone number is 1-844-SPY-POD1. That's one. Ugh. SpyPod 1. Charlie reverse engineered this whole episode so he could say Ra's al-Gabagool. Hi, Dave Graham

and guests. This is Michelle from Chicago calling with an overheard. I was passing a young woman on her cell phone and overheard the following. I mean, they are so disorganized over there. Are they even wiping from front to back? Which?

Oh, what happened at the end of the call? I just wanted to share, that is the most worrisome level of disorganization I have ever heard. Yeah. Wiping side to side. I remember, I mean, I tell this story in my act but it's a fully true story where like my aunt was babysitting josephine for the first time which was this she she's only got sons yeah and um you know i was trying to run through like you know this would have been one of the first times we ever left the baby with someone who wasn't us all right

i was like uh oh and do you know when you're wiping a baby girl you have to make sure to wipe away from the vulva like you have to wipe poop away from the vagina. Which is it? The vulva or the vagina? She goes, yeah, I have a vagina. Which is so different from us wiping poop into our penises. We're allowed to do it. Encouraged. Oh, man. Here's your next phone call.

Hey, guys. Oh, man. Here's your next phone call. Hey, guys. This is Ty from Seattle, but I'm actually vacationing in Iowa today, and I have an overheard for you. While in the local store, I heard a few teen girls over next to the hair dye, and one girl goes, I don't even know why anyone wants to be blonde. And the other girl goes, yeah, I know.

They don't even have that much more fun. They do, though. Right? Says the Golden Locks. I've been having fun for years. That story literally has doubled what I know about what happens in Iowa. Now I know it's just primaries. Yeah, that's all I know. No, it's not even a primary.

It's a caucus in Iowa. And then kids buying hair dye. Debating hair dye. But I like that she says it as though it's been proven that they only have 4% more fun. as though it's been proven that they only have 4% more fun. There was a I saw posted on Instagram like a hair dye that was

tied in with the movie Suicide Squad. And Suicide Squad had only been out I want to say five days and it had already been marked down half price. So like imagine you're the hair dye company that gets

the Suicide Squad contract and you're like, this is going to be huge. Did you see the movie? No. Because they've got Joker.

Yeah, he's got green. Goes green. Margot Robbie has blue. Yeah, blue and red. And blonde. Oh yeah, so she is

just a little bit more fun though. Yeah. And I don't know, well I don't know, Will Smith has no hair. No hair. And I don't know. Well, I don't know. Will Smith has no hair. No hair. And I don't know any of the other people in the movie.

The crocodile. I don't think the crocodile man has hair. I just found out there is a crocodile man. Crocodile man. There's a Canadian actor in it, Adam Beach. Oh, okay. He's just black hair. I mean, Adam Beach in Suicide Squad.

Like, Adam Beach is so good. He's such a good actor. He did Arctic Air. He did Smoke Signals. Suicide Squad. But it's just so sad. I don't know. He doesn't have a guy who's so great.

And then is, by all accounts, like this great guy. Soft hands, too. Soft hands. But I think Crocodile Man in Suicide Squad is also like a very respected act. He's a Shakespearean. Yeah. Yeah. He's like the smart.

It's Kelsey Grammer. He's the smartest X-Man. I don't know what to do with my giant crocodile legs. They're squatting again. I don't think crocodiles squat on their eggs like a chicken. I don't think

crocodile man does. No, they're like seahorses. Yeah. Oh, sure, the man carries them. When you're wiping a baby's seahorses. Yeah. Oh, hey, saddle to spout.

Here's your final overheard. Hey, David Graham and beautiful male guest and some lady guest. This is Greg calling with a overheard. I was coming back to the Okanagan and stopped in a little tiny town, used the bathroom at that gas station. Graffiti, you know, all of the door, no space on the door. But right in the middle, there was a clearly written, Coach Rob is not a real coach. He is a fraud.

Google slash YouTube him. YouTube him. He's not a real coach. And YouTube's got the proof. On YouTube, Coach Rob. The truth about coach rob loose change loose change room oh boy well this has been fun yeah we got there Coach Rob Truth Now This is the end of the podcast

What do you have upcoming This comes out the September Two weeks Let's say the 19th I got a new book coming out With co-authored With George Bowering

Who was born on Dave Shumka's birthday But in 1935. And we wrote a book about... Was it World AIDS Day back then? Because it is now. Yeah. But it was more like those big horn hearing aids that you used to hold up to hear things in olden times. What's that?

Were you saying something racist? So George and I wrote a book over the first year of my daughter Josephine's life. I would write him letters about fatherhood and he would write me back about, so he's got... About motherhood? About motherhood, yeah. So the book is called the dad dialogues and it comes out at the end of September, October.

It'll be available. Nice. And then there'll be more episodes of beat bugs, uh, up in November, or you can watch the ones that exist now. If you wanted to rate them five stars, I wouldn't complain. Sure. Um, help me work. And,

uh, that is literally it. Oh, that's a lot. Your last book, the horrors, the horrors, that's available in America.

It is available in the United States of America. Uh, so, uh, check it out. It's amendment friendly. It came out several months later in the States because we had to clear all the amendments. Because there is a British soldier hiding in every copy. So technically

you can't keep the book on your property. But keep it in a park or church. Thanks, Joey. But but yeah so buy books uh you can follow me on twitter by books yeah at charlie demers i'm this close to 10 000 followers let's push them over the top we could uh that would be great because i would love to quit twitter yeah once you get to 10 that's it yeah yeah you get to quit thanks and uh you get to 10, that's it. Yeah. Yeah. You get to quit. Thanks. And, uh, you get to hang up your keypad. Um,

and, uh, upcoming, uh, well, the most recent episode of our debut album. Oh, sure.

That's been out a couple of weeks. Yeah. Episode five. But why not check it out if you have it already? Guys, it's me and Graham singing and writing a song. We are doing live shows coming up in October. We're in Edmonton.

On the 7th. And Saskatoon. On the 8th. And Victoria. On the 22nd of October. And anything else to plug? No, man. Oh, and I was in Winnipeg a couple weeks ago.

I was on a podcast called The Hunks Podcast. Really fun. Fun. Sat behind a set of drums the whole time that just happened to be in the studio. Oh, you play drums? Yeah, so I did a lot of rim shots, lots of intros and outros. Man. A lot of fun.

Just download away. If you like the show, you can head over to maximumfund.org check out the blog recap pictures and videos relating to the content of this podcast maybe a dad's root beer oh sure um yeah and if anyone's listening and wants to mock up what Ra's al-Ghabagool might look like, do that. That's a little show. And if you like the show, please tell your friends to come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported.