Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 45 - Toby Hargrave

Episode Date: January 12, 2009

In our first show of '09, we're joined by comedian Toby Hargrave, with whom we discuss infomercials, snow, Snow, and extraordinary blokes.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello, everybody! Welcome to episode number 45, our first episode of 2009, officially. My name is Graham Clark, and with me, as always, is the man they call the Shaquille O'Neal of hip-hop, Dave Shumka. Wasn't Shaquille O'Neal also of hip-hop? No. I figure that you're, like, you're bigger than Shaq right you know what I

mean in height but he did you think anyone financed his his rap albums or did you I know who was the number one finance here Shaq mr. O'Neal yeah some Irish gentleman named mr. O'Neal and joining us here today on episode number 45 of stop podcasting yourself a very funny man comedian uh director producer uh outdoor adventurer yeah there you go uh husband um for today occasional actor occasional yes uh when it may actually make fit to air and uh and kind of like uh well travel welled, well-seasoned comic of the Canadian scene, Mr. Toby Hargraves.

I also lost a lot of money in the shack deal. Did you? My shirt. My shirt. Is it Hargraves or Hargraves? There's only one of us.

Oh, sorry. Toby Hargraves. You know what? But you get that from Sean. I do. Proudy always puts an S on my name. I think you get it from everyone. I could, actually.

Maybe you should just change it. It's like comedian Darcy Michael. Everybody calls him Darcy Michael. Actually, everybody calls him Gay Toby. Gay Toby. Remember that sitcom from the 80s? Dave. Do you want to?

Do you want to? I want to get to know us. Get to know us! Uh, so Toby, tell us, what's, uh, what's going on with Toby Hargrave? Singular, the singular Toby Hargrave. Well, uh, I think the plural one's having more fun right now, but, uh, for me, uh, not much. Just finished Christmas, and, uh and I'm just looking forward. How was Christmas?

Did you do all 12 days? No, I barely did one. It was good. It was good. Christmas, it's tough when you're a comedian that tours, and you make your living like this. And I'm sure you know Graham. Are you touring a lot now? No.

Okay, well, it's coming, because you're funny. But Christmas just rips the soul right out of you. Yeah. Because you do so many Christmas parties. Did you do a lot of Christmas parties this year? Not as many as I have in the past. And I don't know if that's because of the recession or something like that. But it was really, they're just horrible.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're just horrible. What's the worst company, like, what's the worst company like the the what was the worst kind of setup you ever when we say christmas parties they're all corporate you don't just go to some guy's christmas party i know but i did do that and i've done that as well i i did that terrible it was a birthday party and my introduction was uh it was birthday christmas my introduction was I didn't realize I was talking to some guy at the party

Who was telling me to do jokes about punching a baby And then Then he brought out a baby With a black eye It's funny because it's true And then the introduction was Hey guys, how about a big round of applause for the clown Oh shit, really?

Yeah, I was like, what the fuck just happened? Oh, what? Yeah. And I couldn't believe it. It paid really well. But I'm sitting there in a corner. And if you can picture it, I'm in the back corner. And to my right is a speaker sitting on a chair.

But I can't go forward because then the microphone feeds back. And I have a little shelf to put my arm on. But I can't go forward because on my left side is the bar okay and so everybody kept walking up but if somebody walked up to pour themselves a drink then they're right in front of me and I can't like it was really weird I like doing your standard act during all this no it was just shouting at people like they would shout at me and then then I would shout. It was like a weird BET comedy. Right. Jazz jam type thing.

Let's not get racial. Oh, well, you know what I'm saying. Like, well, no, we can get racial. It was just a really weird thing. Like, everybody just shouting at each other. It was just, it was really weird. Yo mama's so fat. And it turned into one of those.

But it was, yeah, for 40 minutes. At the end, they were like, give it up for the clown? At the beginning. Oh, at the beginning. And then they said at the end, they were like, give it up for the clown? At the beginning. Oh, at the beginning. Oh, that's even worse. How about a big round of applause for the clown? That was how I started the whole show. Oh, my God.

Yeah, it's like saying how about a round of applause for the dancer and then shooting at your feet. I think the worst setup I ever had, though, was in a big restaurant with a 70-foot vaulted ceiling. And they wanted us to do it on a stairway down, like this kind of big casket stairway. Like you're making kind of like an Orwellian speech? Yeah, literally like 30 feet above everybody. And you're like, welcome to the dinner. Yeah, and it was horrible, and it didn't go very well. Crowd works hard when you're 20 feet above the dinner. Yeah, and it was horrible, and it didn't go very well. The crowd works hard when you're 20 feet above the audience.

You're like, sir, you've got a mole on your head you should have looked at. Ew. I just remember walking down, and I was telling a joke about driving through Saskatchewan, and the three girls started kind of giggling. Right. And I thought, oh, my God, somebody's listening. It was that bad that I saw three people giggling, and I thought that that was because of me. And I went up to the table, had a wireless mic, and I said, hey, are you guys from Saskatchewan?

And I put the microphone in their face, and she just said, please leave us alone. Right into the microphone. And I said, on a huge vaulted ceiling, that would echo. Leave us alone. Leave us alone. Leave us alone. And the worst part at the end was they had kind of a closed-circuit television. It was just a handy cam that somebody was pointing at me. Right.

And about five minutes in, ten minutes into the set, everybody started giggling. And I thought, I won. Like, I won. They're paying attention. They're getting it somehow. Like, people are starting to laugh. And then somebody points up behind me, and I turn around and see the television, and

somebody's squishing my head in front of the camera. So they're done. Okay. I'm done. Wow. That's, oh, man. But aside from the, like, the horribleness that is corporate Christmas parties, was the holiday time?

Because this is the first show we've had. I missed you dave i missed you too uh you were in thailand and i was i went to calgary and were you in alberta i was in alberta yeah so did you miss all the craziness that was the vancouver snow dump 2008 absolutely totally when i left here it was 10 degrees and everything was great it and actually when i got to Kamloops, just outside of Kamloops in Barrie or something, I went to fill up the truck. It was cold. I went to get my winter coat. Totally forgot to bring a winter coat. So I left here.

It was brilliant. Then I get to Edmonton and it was minus 40. It was a crazy thing. I noticed this at the airport because I was stranded at the airport for several hours. See, for anybody who's an international listener and has never been to Vancouver, we get snow once a year, usually for two days. And then it rains and it all washes away. But this snow is still on the ground. It's been almost a month.

It basically shut down the city. City Hall has done sweet fuck all to deal. Our mayor went on vacation. You remember that Simpsons where the mayor comes on TV and he's like, I just want to say I'm in support. And then the guy walks through with a steel drum. That's our mayor. He was quimbing it up in Mexico while everybody was ass deep in snow.

Was this the new one or is this the wheelchair one this is the new one oh really yeah yeah johnny juice i call him because he is the new mayor not the new simpsons okay but uh so johnny mayor johnny juice is in mexico and we're all snowed in but at the airport i noticed a lot of I noticed a lot of people, like a lot of people, were wearing the clothes of their departure point and not their destination. So a lot of people getting off of the planes coming from the Bahamas to Vancouver, which, you know, a quick check on the internet would indicate freezing cold, in shorts and flip-flops. Now, when is that ever appropriate to show up in a location in that, unless you're going to Hawaii? You really shouldn't fly in flip-flops. Now, when is that ever appropriate to show up in a location in that? Unless you're going to Hawaii. You really shouldn't fly in flip-flops.

Oh, agreed. Or Bermuda shorts. With the netting on the inside? Oh, maybe that's bathing suits. I'm thinking of... Which is another thing you probably shouldn't wear anyway. You shouldn't wear a bathing suit on the airplane. Unless it has a tub so uh yeah so you

uh your family's in alberta i am yeah and you're you're uh lovely wife sarah's family is in alberta yeah and i have some family here but the i guess long story short was once the shows were done about the 21st yeah uh it was great great nice just just uh relaxed with family didn't really tell any friends i was in town and uh it's easier to relax that way eh it's just ridiculous a lot we just did it last year we went running around everybody we saw everybody for two hours you gotta see them and it was completely pointless we we left never feeling like we actually ever had a real visit and we ran our heads off and so this time you had to drink a lot more than like some nights you just don't want to drink and then your friend calls and you're

like hey drink and you're like okay here we go you know you have to put on your game face that's why i married a nurse so we always have a stomach pump on hand some liquid charcoal and it works out really well what's liquid charcoal? It's for... They sometimes use it in alcohol poisoning. Is it like Ipecac? Kind of, but Ipecac makes you puke. I'm sure liquid charcoal gives you that idea. But you know how liquid charcoal

filters water? Charcoal will filter water. Same idea. You swallow liquid charcoal, it absorbs all the bad stuff. And it goes out the other end. Yeah, and if you're a real tight ass, it comes out like a diamond. Am I right?

Hey! A little homage to Ferris Bueller right there. Yeah! That's awesome. So, and New Year's? Anything? This is my first New Year's off in 10 years. I did absolutely nothing sarah and i stayed at home nice and did you watch the dick clark rockin new year's eve no we watched

some horrible new year's eve show from seattle oh i watched that too i flipped uh back and forth it was the two guys or sorry the guy and the girl they were the most they were the worst hosts i've ever seen in my entire life and they were pretty bad. They were creeping the guys like eating a steak off a bone. This is a really good steak. The year of the steak. It was absolutely horrible, but we only referred to it for the countdown. Right.

It's very important that you celebrate it at the exact second everyone else does. That's what I believe. That's what I was raised to believe. It was just really weird. We were just at home like, three, two, one. Hey, babe.

Happy New Year. So what else was on? Then we watched House. I think that was it. I watched. Was he cantankerous? Did he get the diagnosis wrong like five times? But then at the end swoops in with the right one?

You know what's interesting too is that because I'm actually becoming a fan of House. Every episode they think of sarcoidosis. Sarcoidosis. And the only reason

I mention that is because I had that like two years ago when I got sick. Oh, that was the thing that you had. That was the thing. Sarcoidosis.

Now if you watch House every like second episode they're like it could be menopause. It could be testicular cancer. That's what your doctor said to you when you first came in? It could be menopause. But he went from menopause to stick-ticking,

which is weird. I'm high on drugs. I'm House. Oh, yeah. He's drug-addled, isn't he? And bald. That's what a lot of people don't know, that Hugh Laurie is all bald in the back, and he does like a comb-over effect.

He's never shot from behind. But you know what? But that's how he'll die, is being shot from behind. If you have never seen, if you want new respect for Hugh Laurie, watch Blackadder. Yeah, super hilarious. Unbelievable. I mean, he's just screaming fairy on Blackadder. He is, everything else he's been in, I've never really been a fan of House,

but everything else he's been in, I've always been a fan of. Yeah, unbelievable. So he's bald on top. Yeah. He's got kind of the acorn situation. Do you think he uses the spray-on hair? No, no, no. He's just, the way that he's going bald is going bald in the circle on top.

He's got like the crown. He's got like the monk. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the same as Kevin Smith. No. He's going bald like a monk. He's got like an autistic detective coming out of the back of his head.

He's not autistic. He's OCD, isn't he? I haven't seen Monk. But the reason I ask... But Kevin Smith is the same and he's never shot from that angle. He's always shot from in front or from slightly above. Kevin Smith, it's a wide angle. Whoa! Hey, I'm a fat guy.

I can make fun of fat guys. You can make fun of the club you're a member of. That was kind of a pot-tettle-black situation. Hey, I'll be the first one to admit it. But the reason I ask about the spray on hair is because there are two infomercials now that are on everyone's lips. I'm talking about the Snuggie. Yeah, I talked about that on Thursday. And the ShamWow.

Oh, you're a big fan of the ShamWow. Have you guys, I was wondering, has anyone ever bought something they saw in an infomercial? Can I just quickly? Yes, I have. I bought a Snuggie for my mother for Christmas. Are you serious? Yes, I did. Absolutely.

And she was thrilled. You could have got a big piece of felt from the store just got a head hole in it too you know it needs arm holes too yeah it needs arm holes toby it's got sleeves on it see i haven't seen what am i a seamstress what am i gonna do make a make a goddamn cloak at home um yeah no i saw the commercial i thought well legitimate. Yeah. This is a product people need. Yeah, no, I was like, my mom is always cold, but she also likes, you know, watching TV and eating popcorn, right? Maybe a bag of chips.

So, yeah, it is. It's a problem when you've got a blanket on, because your top half's not warm. It's only your bottom half, because you've got to get the arms out from under. Sometimes my feet are just cold for no reason anyway. Has this just become an infomercial for the Snuggie? Just out of curiosity? This podcast? Kind of.

I want in on those Snuggie dollars. My favorite, and I talked about this on the Thursday show as well, is there's a commercial, late-night infomercial for a thing called the Flavor Wave, I think. It's an oven that cooks things with heat in a tornado and i've been in the food yeah and it's mr t right it's the co-host and uh my brother does a great impression of mr t on this infomercial where it's just like suzanne i never had broccoli like that or whatever whatever crazy cat crazy says on it.

I like my pizza crispy. That's what he keeps saying. Because she never gives him the pizza? He never gets to try anything. He keeps talking about how hungry he is. She's like, we did all these short ribs in here. He's like, I like short ribs. Anyways.

Actually, I just thought of that, yeah. Yeah, but it's like having, like, it's like they went through their Rolodex and they were like, who can we get? Robocop, Mr. Teeny, Astro Boy, any of them will do. Because none of them are real characters. But the ShamWow, which stars a guy that looks like the guy from that parody show that was about a boy band that had... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He looks like that guy.

It had Chris Farley's brother, Kevin Farley, on it. You remember the show? Together was the show. No. And the lead guy, or one of the lead guys, looks exactly like the guy in the ShamWow. In fact, I thought it was him, but I don't think it is him. No, it's not. You know, have you seen the ShamWow? I've in the ShamWow. In fact, I thought it was him, but I don't think it is him. No, it's not. You know, have you seen the ShamWow?

I've seen the ShamWow. It's a pretty good product. I'd buy one of those for my dad. But what I'm wondering is... Oh, shit, I shouldn't have said that. He listens to the podcast. But what I'm wondering is that every infomercial does the same thing. It doesn't matter what it's for.

At the end of the infomercial, especially the ShamWow, he sells it really hard. He's like, but only for the next 10 minutes. If you call in the next 10 minutes, we're going to throw in, how do they know what you're watching when you call? You can call anytime. Does that actually work for somebody? Do they actually sit there and go, I only got 9 more minutes to call. Where's my phone?

Is the operator ever a hard ass and they're like, oh, you just missed it. You're like, what time is it where you are? Because I have 10 minutes up. It seems like the last time that infomercials were this big was the Popeil wave of the early to mid-90s. Do you think that we're in like kind of another golden era of infomercials? I wonder if it's related to the economy in any way or if there are any other like signifiers. Yeah.

Well, I mean like for me, infomercials, because I have a fairly steadfast insomnia. So infomercials have been a part of my life since I was a teenager. Like always, I've always like for a long, my favorite guy was the question mark jacket. Right. That guy. Oh, they tell you how to get government grants? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow.

Okay. I can't believe I know this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then there was the two midget or dwarf gentlemen that told you how to invest in real estate. In real estate, yeah. I think one of them was a midget and one was a dwarf. told you how to invest in real estate yeah i think one of them was a midget and one was a dwarf the trick was much like that uh double shot at love you never knew which one was which um when i was i guess about uh 14 my my family finally gave in and bought something

and we bought it was during the ron popeil food dehydrator. Did you get a food dehydrator? Rotisserie chicken thing. But we didn't get any of those. We got something, I don't think it was Ron Popeil related. I don't know who was selling it. But it was the, it was just kind of a handheld blender. Oh yeah, my mom had one of those.

And now you can buy them anywhere. My mom also has, have you seen the infomercial for the Magic Bullet? My mom has one of those. The the infomercial for the Magic Bullet? Yeah. My mom has one of those. The Magic Bullet sounds a lot like something else, as I found out later on. Is it a... It's a vibrator, actually.

Whoa! No, that's not the one my mom has! It's not the one my mom has! Yeah, it was really fun. And the only reason I know this is because when I was in Edmonton in May, I was doing a show. And in my act, I have a joke about buying a vibrator for my wife. And basically, like, the whole – it's a horrible joke. But it would just –

I think you're supposed to pronounce it, my wife. My wife. Hey. Hey, if I am. So the idea is that I – but the whole gist of the joke is I couldn't find one small enough. And so this girl comes up to me and she gives me a card and she sells sex toys. And it turns out she's from Edmonton, which is where I was going in the next week. So she emailed me and said, hey, can I get some tickets?

Because I told her that I'd, you know, she can come out to the next show in Edmonton. Oh, nice. So in return, I got her four tickets, just comped them in. And they brought me a gift to open on stage. So I opened it on stage, and it was called a bullet. And it was this pink vibrator. Why is it called a bullet? I don't know.

Is it shaped like one? No, it's a little pink thing. Is it shot out of some sort of vibrator gun? All right, honey, hold still. I'm a bad shot. But I actually bought... I bought something else. Not something else.

I bought something from an infomercial when I was like 18, 19. And I bought acne statin. How'd it work? Was it okay? Is it the proactive of its generation? Yeah, sorry, sorry. It was proactive, I think. Oh, what's acne statin? Or maybe it was called acne statin. How'd it work? Was it okay? Is it the proactive of its generation? Yeah, sorry, sorry. It was proactive, I think. Oh, what's acne statin?

Or maybe it was called acne statin. It was like a proactive. Jane Stanton's brother. Ba-dum! Try the veal. And we... Has any comedy club had veal since, like, the Borscht Belt era? Maybe an Italian one.

I don't know. But we did... I bought it, and the problem was that I bought it, but it had so many directions to it. Like, I just thought it would be like apply and everything's good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I've always had horrible acne. And so 19 years old, desperate, whatever. So I buy it.

It was 60 bucks, too, back then. That was 93? Yeah. That's a lot of money. And so I buy it it was 60 bucks too back then that was 93 yeah that's a lot of money and uh so i bought it and then all of a sudden all the directions were like i had to have a facial like i had to get hot water and steam my face and i had to wash my face and right then like the second one like i'm out way too much it was horrible i never it. You've never even washed your face before. Remember when they used to do Dianetics infomercials? Dianetics are L. Ron Hubbard.

L. Ron Hubbard books about positive. Is that like an LP sort of thing? They might have been an audio version, but it was for positive thinking. Oh, okay. And it was the only infomercial I'd seen to that point. Now that Jessica Simpson hacks or hawks proactive and hacks

but that was the first one I saw that had actual celebrities on it and had never even heard of Scientology at the time but I remember the lead singer or no the lead guitarist of Megadeth was one of the guys on the infomercial talking about how awesome it made him

at guitar. And it really caught my attention when I was young. Not Dave Mustaine. Yeah, Dave Mustaine. Oh, okay, yeah. The guy who in the Metallica movie had a session. I think he cried because he got kicked out of Metallica. Yeah, he got kicked out of Metallica and he started on Megadeth.

And then he was on that other show with the Nuge. Oh, the Nuge? Yeah. Where they started their Damocracy was the name of the band. Damocracy? Damn Yankees? Jesus.

Do you guys not know what I'm talking about? I was about to say, Megadeth, right out of the gate, way better band than Metallica. Really? Absolutely. Wow, that's a gauntlet. Yeah, I know. I hate the whole genre.

Oh, really? Yeah. Back in the day, back in the day, like when Justice for All came out, I would say Metallica. That was a great album. I loved that album. But then they just spun off the planet, and their new one just sounds like Axl Guns N' Roses' new album. It's horrible. Have you seen the thing where Dave Mustaine tries to explain the cover of...

It was in Nerve magazine. It used to be in Vancouver. They interviewed Dave Mustaine, and the cover of the album has that skeleton guy or whatever, right? Harvey Megadeth. Harvey Megadeth. Harvey Megadeth. It looks, the album cover looks vaguely political because there's kind of puppets involved and George Bush is somewhere on it and Bill Clinton's on it.

And you're looking at it, and they asked him to describe, like, what is the point you're trying to make and they asked them to describe like what is the point you're trying to make with it and it was clear there was no point he was just like yeah because the puppets and the politicians and there's like a lineup and like headstones and like it's just all this imagery but it doesn't add up to anything because dave mustaine's he's retarded i used to i the only reason i know who dave mustaine or any metal guy is, is because I used to read a lot of guitar magazines. Yeah. And they would have tabs. Tabs are tablatures.

They teach you how to play the songs without knowing how to read music. So there would be like four songs per magazine. And one would be like a band that I cared about. And three would be Metallica or Dream Theater. Dream Theater. Living Color. Oh, they were good too. My brother wrapped all of his

Christmas gifts in pages from Guitar World magazine. I actually thought you were going to go with my brother just wrapped all his Christmas gifts. Instead of buying you a gift, I've decided to write wraps. Here's a funny thing. My family.

There was a time, I think my parents were worried that we were getting too obsessed with the material part of Christmas. So for about five years, we had to pick another family member's name out of the hat and write them a poem. Oh. Oh, really? Yeah. So like, oh man, I could just think, because I know exactly what poem I would have written for either of my

brothers at that age. And it was, every poem was like, say, hey, you are gay. Have a happy Christmas day day you would you would figure out oh okay what's been going on with them what can i use to embarrass them we take the attention off of myself for being such a fag as to write a poem we still like how you said that you turned into somebody else the uh i also like how so far we've been racial, made fun of midgets, made fun of retards. And now...

I've never made fun of the retarded. No, no, no. You said there was a retarded earlier. No, I said Dave Mustaine is retarded. Well, that's not making fun of him. That's actual fact. Look it up. Look it up online.

There's some guy wearing a helmet going, he's not with that. Dave. Okay. All right, moving on. Over Christmas, you went to Thailand. Is that right? Home of the thousand... I'll let you fill in that blank.

A thousand... You went to Thailand and Bangkok a thousand Nicolas Cage's. Bangkok Dangerous joke. Have you seen Bangkok Dangerous? No. I assume it takes place in Bangkok. I have it at home. I haven't seen it either, though.

They had it at every... Keep it that way, maybe. At every street-side stall that had pirated DVDs with Bangkok Dangerous. Because this was their time to shine. Mm-hmm. I don't know where it was shot. I assume Bangkok. And also, if you bought a Zune in Bangkok, the only song on it is One Night in Bangkok.

Oriental setting. So, Thailand. You and Abby. Abby and I went to Thailand. We flew there. Abby's parents flew us out very kindly. Without a plane? Oh, flew you out. I thought you said

flew without dot dot dot. Flew us out. I thought you said flew without dot, dot, dot. No. Okay, continue. Flew us out. And I'm a retard. We went to Hong Kong, because that's where Cathay Pacific flies from Vancouver. Okay. So we had two nights in Hong Kong, and the first night we got there at like 11 o'clock, went to our hotel, and the address we had for our hotel was wrong so we went to this random building where it was just people trying to rent us a room oh and was it like a warehouse it was

like uh lots of drawers they call it a mansion okay there's a few mansions in hong kong but it's these these ramshackle buildings and it didn't it like abby had been to the website of where we were supposed to stay and it was a nice place and these were like so what you got in a cab and you're like one two three hong kong avenue and they took you to some weird place yeah yeah yeah it was the mirador mansion and uh we got out and it was it was down the street from the holiday inn and we were like let's just find let's just go to the Holiday Inn. Yeah. So that's what we ended up doing.

Nice. See, I did something like that here years and years ago before I moved here to Vancouver. Sarah and I came out on a holiday and I goofed. Normally we stay with friends, but we couldn't. We picked the worst weekend. Yeah. And so it was my bad. So I had to find a place for us to stay.

Right. And I found a hostel for 35 bucks a night. And it was like surrounded by million dollar buildings. I was like, that's fantastic. And it was right on Main and where the Viaduct comes off. Sure. What's the name of the... The Ivanhoe?

The Ivanhoe. Yeah, the Ivanhoe. It was across the street from the Ivanhoe it was the worst thing I've ever done but it was absolutely horrible but the way they described it the pictures, it looked brilliant

you never found the place what it turns out is so we went to the Holiday Inn and it was fine, it was kind of expensive given what it was the next day we tried to find another hotel everything it was fine. It was kind of expensive given what it was. The next day we tried to find another hotel. Everything was full.

We found this really great place that was actually cheaper than the Holiday Inn. So we stayed there and it had internet in the room. And we looked up the hotel and the address that Abby had was wrong. So we had just gone to the wrong building. And so the reservation at the hotel that we had, the hotel was probably perfectly nice. Yeah. But the address we had was wrong, so we just went to the wrong place. So you thought, what did you think had happened?

That you had gone to, that you had booked a place online, and that he brought you there and it was actually a dump? Yeah. Oh, I thought from the beginning of the story that you had the wrong address or that the guy in the cab didn't understand. Maybe I didn't tell the story in such a way as it had enough suspense. Anyway. Tell me more about this holiday inn. After Hong Kong, we went to Krabi, which is in the south of Thailand on the Indian Ocean side.

Sounds upsetting. It was actually really nice. That's where we met up with Abby's family. So Abby went to Krabi? Is that what you're saying? I restrained myself. I am weak.

Oh man, I can't believe you stepped on my punchline. Just end the story with, and then I went home. Trust me, it's great. So then I got off the bus. You know, but that was really great. And everywhere you go in Asia. Asians, first of all.

Yeah. They're everywhere. Yeah. There's Christmas music playing But Not the Christmas It's just the Music, elevator music version Lots of jingling bells But it's all the songs

You know, but just with no Singing And then they will continue to play The music We left January 5th And Christmas music was still playing everywhere huh and no decorations had been taken down but uh the place we stayed in crabby you're talking about yeah and and then on our way back through hong kong uh but uh everywhere you or the place we

stayed in crabby was great um holiday in sandman no it was it was a it was a resort and uh like we really didn't do anything we went to the beach a bunch yeah and uh every hotel room had a dvd player so we would just go into town every dvd you rent yeah bangkok dangerous we would just going to town and buy run that joke into the ground buy dvds for three dollars and anything good um have you heard of a movie called the sex in the city movie yes no wait yes um yeah we watched a couple of we mostly watched uh we watched mad men season one of mad men Unbelievable good show. Fantastic show. Absolutely brilliant show.

And then we watched season one of Dexter. Another great show. Here's a funny thing about Mad Men. I like how we're approving of your takes. There was an interview with Jennifer Aniston, I saw just on Entertainment Tonight, where Canada, where she said, oh, I really would like to do a guest appearance on Mad Men. I really like that 50s thing.

Mad Men takes place in the 60s. Yeah. That is a very good point. Jennifer Aniston, go to hell. Yeah, you've never seen this show. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Wait, wait, wait. I think Mad Men is the 50s. Nope. Wrong. 60s. 60s. Is it really the 60s? Yeah. It starts ins. 60s. Is it really the 60s? Yeah.

It starts in 1960, season one. Yeah. And it will, the show, according to the writers of the show, will stop at 1970. That's when the show's done. So they're, well, that's actually kind of ballsy. That's what the Wonder Years should have done. We're going to go for 10 years. That's pretty long for a series. The show isn't a calendar year, right? It isn't a calendar year? I've seen three of them, so that's what the Wonder Years should have done. We're going to go for ten years. The show isn't a calendar year. It isn't a calendar year?

I've seen three of them, so that's why I ran them. Fantastic show. The first season is about nine months long. Wink, wink. Oh, no, baby. I didn't get that at all. Now I guess.

Makes sense. But yeah, so that was my grimace. That was your grimace. And then I came back and found all this snow on the ground. And I love snow. Generally. The singer. No, generally.

Whatever happened to snow? You love the generally. It's an orange car. Why did we bring that up now? Toby hates orange cars. Yeah, it's orange. If you have an orange car, yeah. He's talking to you, Dukes.

There's a phenomenon in Vancouver now. We got about three feet of snow, and some of it melted, but I think the airport ended up getting a meter. That's what I heard on the news. Which is about three feet. Yeah. Strange. airport ended up getting a meter that's what i heard on the news which is about three feet yeah strange uh and there's this phenomenon that's happening that i've never witnessed before

because vancouver really doesn't get snow is people digging out a parking spot and then saving it yeah and this is uh people will leave out pylons or lawn chairs homeless guy but the thing is is i I totally am in favor of that because I came back from Calgary and I had to shovel the walk, which is not... The thing is, it's no problem. I grew up in Calgary.

I know it's fine. But you can't get a shovel here. You can't get rock salt here. I went to Canadian Tire to get rock salt. They didn't have rock salt. They didn't have shovels. They didn't have boots. They had nothing.

By the way, this city could not be more fucked when there's an earthquake. They could barely handle an element that falls on the ground and does nothing but sit there. When the fucking very earth starts to

move, we're fucked. We're absolutely in the hole the i also think that what puts us in the hole is just vancouverites in general right across the street on our street it was the same thing people were like digging themselves out and then putting like a pylon saving their but there was one car i just remember laughing because the guy behind this car dug himself out and threw all the snow on the car in front of it and then the guy that was sitting in front of this car dug out his parking stall and threw all the snow on the car in front of it and then the guy that was sitting in front of this car dug out his parking stall and threw all the snow on the car behind him of course so this car in the middle not only had like two or three feet of snow on it but then it had all

the snow from the other cars on it absolutely and uh i mean it was it's actually just to give people that aren't in vancouver kind of like uh like and anybody who lives in places where there is snowfall, they only plowed the main roads and then left all the places where people live to kind of a Mad Max-esque society wherein that kind of thing would happen. You could dig out your own hole or park in somebody else's a little cubby hole but you know that's why people were protecting them and some people would shovel their walks and other people just didn't give a shit and people's dogs are shitting everywhere and it's just gone absolutely it's just manners have dropped gloves are off uh you get to the main street it's business as usual but in your neighborhood you're finding out very quickly who the worst people on your block but i also found here not only can people in vancouver not drive they can't walk in the snow

i mean they are they aren't prepared at all i remember we were walking the laugh lines to do a show it was a phil hanley and i yeah we're walking and we're behind this couple and this girl is wearing these six inch stiletto heels right as you do as you well you know what and i thought about it that actually probably makes sense right because they come to a really fine point so you can really dig into the ice so it's like they're like crampons or something yeah she's like really fashionable crampons but it was ridiculous like people just have no sense of preparing for anything in this city um i i the before the snow came i got snow tires and they're like you can't get snow tires in vancouver anymore no sold out and snow chains and snow anything uh 12 inches

of snow is off the uh the record charts in vancouver um that's a great album title, now that I think about it. Off the record shirt? No, Snow, the rapper, his album was called 12 Inches of Snow. Why is that a good album? Because it refers to his penis, I think. Yeah, I didn't realize that. He doesn't have a foot-long penis? Anyway. But yeah, I got snow tires, uh my car's all-wheel drive it uh it's a subaru it's i love subaru i'm thanks uh i'm a stud out there and so i can get in and out of these parking spots that people haven't dug out but i'm worried that if more snow falls people have dug out these parking spots and now

it's raining and so now it's kind of a free-for-all you don't really need to reserve parking spots anymore but if it snows again do you then reclaim your parking spot or can anyone dig out any spot no you dig I think, you dig out your kind of approximately... Because I was out of town the whole time this was happening, so I just took a spot that was... When I say it's like a Mad Max, Mad Men society, circa 1950s. 1950s, 40s. 50s, 40s, possibly 30s. I like the flapper era.

That's why I want to be on that angry man show. That's what Jennifer Anderson would say. The man show. The man show. That was in the 50s for sure. Hey, Graham. Oh, yeah. Finish your point.

No, no, no. No point. Do we want to get to know you? Well, you know, I covered a lot of things. Yeah, I think you jumped in. The one thing, it's two things. Wait a minute. Has this whole time been all about me?

No, it's really just flowed. Hey, Toby, let's learn about you. And half an hour later, we've all told stories. So now we're talking. No, I'm sure I'll start a thing and then I'll take it all. It's been how much? 40 minutes? 40.

Oh, God, this is going to be the longest podcast ever. I know. We've got presents to open. I went to Titanic 2, Revolutionary Road. Oh, okay. He calls it that because it's got Kate Winslet and... Leonardo DiCaprio reprising their roles from Titanic. Leonard of Capri.

20 years later, they're living in the suburbs together. What are we talking about? The movie Revolutionary Road. Have you heard of this? No. No, see, then you won't get the joke. All right. It's kind of Mad Men.

So it's in the 60s? It's Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet. It's a Sam Mendes movie. I went and saw it last night. And there was, with past podcast guest Alicia Tobin. Your frequent movie date. My frequent movie date. And the guy behind us had a rich, a rich man laugh.

And, no. man laugh. No. It was kind of like it was a laugh too refined, too worked on. It was ha ha ha ha ha. It was that laugh.

But there were no jokes in this movie. I cannot stress this enough. Were there poor people? Was he laughing at them? No. No. This movie was very, very dry, slow, very melodramatic. Anything where

he could inject his own comic relief. There were parts where it was horrifying from my angle, but here you're behind, right behind. But that's not a real laugh that you grow up with right you decide upon a laugh like that right right you're like my laugh isn't posh enough for what i like to laugh at

so that was the thing and also i fell asleep at the james bond movie oh which i've never done before i've never fallen asleep during a movie me neither ever like at home i home at home for sure but not in the theater. But I fell asleep. Were you tired, or was it just a bad movie? I was tired, but it was also really boring. And the gunfire didn't wake you up? No, there was a scene...

With lasers? No, there was a scene where they kind of crash land a plane, and there's... The quantum of solace. Yeah, there's... The Quantum of Solace. Yeah. They crash land the Quantum of Solace. And the guy... I want you to like a bad name for it. Anyway.

Yeah. But it's as fast-paced as you think a movie called The Quantum of Solace would be. Yeah. Perfect. Okay. So, you know, that. And the other thing I wanted to just call attention to was on New Year's Eve, because we were talking about watching the New Year's Eve thing. Dick Clark's rocking New Year's Eve.

He's very old now. He's had a stroke. He's stroking it up. And at midnight, I don't know if it's his wife or who it was that kissed him at midnight, but he seemingly doesn't have the musculature in his mouth to kiss or maybe he was like get off of me i don't want to kiss i don't know which it was but at midnight i was watching she comes in to kiss him and it's like he's fighting it off like you know when you try to kiss a dog for a photo and it's like don't and it's an awkward photo that's if you can find that clip online, I'd appreciate it.

Okay, I'll see what I can do. I also want to talk about, well, the Golden Globe Awards are coming out tomorrow. Oh. Probably. Like the nominations? No, no, no, the awards themselves. Oh, they're actually, okay. That'll be yesterday or the day before for anybody listening.

Or maybe today. I don't know when this is getting released. Anyway, you just saw Revolutionary Road. That's a movie that's now in theaters. Titanic 2. Titanic 2. Dot, dot. Dot, dot or a colon?

Oh, yeah, yeah. Dot, dot flipped on its side and sent it to colon. Dot, dot, dot would mean suspended. Have you seen the commercials for The Wrestler yes and I'm very excited to see it The Wrestler the Mickey Rooney wrestling movie

it stars Mickey Rooney Mickey Rourke for the business that I'm in Mickey Rooney did they posthumously no he's alive is Mickey Rooney alive for they posthumously? No, he's alive. Is Mickey Rooney alive?

I think so. Okay, for the business that we're in, I should really know more about what's going on in the world. Yeah, probably. I have no clue. Mickey Rourke. I know Mickey Rourke. Anyway, it's Mickey Rourke. And they've had these commercials. They probably won't be on anymore now that the Golden Globes are out.

But they mentioned the three Golden Globe nominations that it's got. It's got one for Best Actor, Mickey Rourke slash Rooney. Rooney! As old Mickey Rourke. Mickey Mouse. One for Best Supporting Actress, Marisa Tomei. Formerly of My Cousin Vinny. Also Oscar Award winner. And won for Best Original Song by Bruce

Springsteen. And whenever they say that, that's right when the music kicks in in the commercial. And there's just one line of the song that I hear over and over and it's Have you ever seen a one-legged dog? Have you ever seen a one-legged dog? I've seen a dog with one leg missing, but I don't think I've ever seen a one-legged dog? That's it.

Have you ever seen a one-legged dog? Yeah. I've seen a dog with one leg missing, but I don't think I've ever seen a one-legged dog. No, me neither. I don't think anybody has. If a dog just had one leg, wouldn't you just remove it? Basically, because then he could just... He could just relax? Yeah, he could just relax.

He wouldn't feel like he had to try? He could just roll everywhere. I've seen two-legged dogs that have wheels on the back. I saw a two-legged dog with two back legs that hops around on its back legs. It kind of walks like a dude. That's a human, Toby. Yeah. Well, it was in a

different country, so I'll give you that. Who's a pretty girl? So yeah, that's been on my mind. Obviously, it's been bothering you. Go wrestler, that's what I say. Go wrestler. You want to hit some overheards? Sure.

Overheard. Overheards. Do you have one there, Toad Toads? Yeah, I had a couple, but I forgot them. But the one that I have, when I first started doing stand-up, I do a guest spot during a show. So you'll show up and just do like seven minutes. And as we've all done.

It's so much fun. Oh, isn't it though? Living the dream. Doing seven minutes? Seven minutes is the easiest kind of stand-up. Yeah. And so that night, it was pretty lackluster. I don't think it was a very good set at all.

But, you know, it wasn't what it was. So I stick around to watch the show, and as I'm leaving the show, this was in Edmonton at a comedy club there, and you had to walk down a big, long hall to get out. It was in West Edmonton Mall. So I'm leaving, and I'm following two couples, and the women are talking to each other. I'm literally right behind these women,

and one girl says to the other, what did you right behind these women and the women one girl says to the other what did you think about the first guy you yeah which which was me she was referring to me she's like the fat hairy guy he didn't even then she said she he didn't even have any fucking teeth oh and i'm right behind them and i i didn't know what to say because i obviously know that they mean me yeah and i i didn't like do i and they haven't know what to say because I obviously know that they mean me. And I didn't, like, do I, and they haven't seen me. Like, they have no idea that I'm there. They've just heard you.

They've just seen the show, and they, you didn't even have fucking teeth. And I didn't, so I just kind of said, actually, I do. But you just can't see them. Oh, you wouldn't. Yeah, I just, I said to her, I said, actually, I do. But you just can't see them. Yeah, I just, I said to her, I said, actually, I do. You just, I have a jaw thing, and I have to get surgery if I wanted to. And

she was so embarrassed, and she literally, her friend turned around first and went, fuck off. And then the other one said, no way. She turned around and saw me, and she literally crumpled up from the fetal position in the hallway with her hand over her head, just trying to avoid my gaze.

And I was trying to say to her, no, no, no, honestly, I think this is really funny. This is actually kind of a funny thing. I'll use it on a podcast later. But she was horribly embarrassed. That's, oh, man, it's outstanding. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that sucks.

What a biatch. Dave, you got an overheard? You gotta. I actually don't really. Really? When we were in... Do you want to read the overheard from the listener? No, no.

Abby had one that I'm just going to borrow. You'll give it back, though, right? Okay. When we were in Bangkok, we basically went to malls every day because there's a region that just has like six malls in a row. And you just walk from mall to mall to mall. And Abby overheard this couple. They were about to go into the bathroom in one of these malls. And one said,

No, no. Are we doing a... There's a lot of tourists there. go into the bathroom in one of these malls. I'm just waiting for like... And one said, Tinkai wingai. No, no. Are we doing a... There's a lot of tourists there. Oh, okay. And there was a couple, and the girl was about to go into the girl's washroom, and the guy was about to go into the guy's washroom,

and the girl says to the guys, they're both going to the bathroom, See you in an hour. I don't get it. What? Go back again. again did i miss i missed something i was thinking about something what it's two guys going to the bathroom say say it again what i'm confused she really had to go i think they've been hiking in the bush for a long time she was going to be in there for an hour, is basically what we were getting at there. Oh, man.

Why, though? If you really had to go, wouldn't it take less time? This is not going well. What? It's my part. I'm sure if people had been listening, they may have gotten a smile out of that. No, it's 100% my fault. I did not. It went over my head. And I did a poor job of supporting you. No, it's 100% my fault. Yeah. I was not, I did not, it went over my head.

And I did a poor job of supporting you. No, no. And demonstrating how good the story was. Yeah, it was a short story. I should have warned you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Great. Hey, do you have one?

I'll cut mine out. No. Don't cut yours out. Yeah, okay. When I was going through, okay, this is the thing, right? When you go through security at airports, constantly seems to be, ever since the liquid restriction has gone into effect, people baffled by it. Baffled! What does that mean, liquids?

It means liquids. That's what it means. It's clear as day. There's huge fucking signs at the airport tell you what it is. And when I was going through security And it was a madhouse in security But the person just behind me An old guy

Was asking security Kind of clearing object by object And I just heard the security guard saying Sir, it's fine It's just tuna You can board with it It's just tuna Um Is this not a liquid

right? it can be it swims in a liquid it can't be but it gets packed in a liquid yeah oh okay yeah

we we went to go see the transporter 3 while we were in Bangkok with Jason Statham with Jason Statham. With Jason Statham. We went to see it in this awesome movie theater in Bangkok at the Paragon. They had these movie theaters that have 32 seats.

That's the whole movie theater. And they're all like Lazy Boy recliners. And you get a a blanket you get a blanket snuggie you get a snuggie a snuggie light you beat me to it that's what i call blankets snuggie lights but uh so yeah it's the greatest movie experience ever except that we had to watch the transporter 3 whoa and what what what speaking of the liquids, in the Transporter 3, he, the transporter, the titular transporter, has to wear a bracelet that contains these explosive liquids. And the guy, the bad guy, says, oh, it's like the terrorists who tried to bring those liquids on the plane.

When, in fact, he should have said, it's like Die Hard 3. Yeah. I just saw a Jason Statham movie the other night, Death Race. That's great. It's pretty great. Have you seen it? Wait, is Jason Statham? Yeah.

That's hard for me to say with a lisp. Is that Statham? Yeah. Yeah, Statham. That's hard for me to say with a lisp. Is that Statham? Yeah, it's Statham. Is he the driver in the movie? In the transporter? In the transporter? Okay, okay. The bald...

The balding, karate master... The best guy on Earth. Yeah, yeah, okay. He's the best guy on Earth, right? He's one of them. Yeah. He's one of the league of best guys on Earth. Wait, was he in the transporter too?

Yes? He either does really great movies or really horrible movies. He's one of the league of best guys on Earth. Wait, was he in The Transporter 2? Yes. He either does really great movies or really horrible movies. I think all his movies are great. I think they're all horrible. By virtue of the fact that he's in them. Who else would be in the league of awesome guys? Jason Statham. Who else?

Vinnie Jones. Yeah, Vinnie Jones. Oh, me. I was thinking of Vinnie Jones. Never mind. Vinnie Jones is the tall guy with the weird breast cut. And used to play soccer. But Jason Statham also used to play soccer.

I think every British person used to play soccer. David Beckham. Yeah. And Prime Minister O'Doyle. And Ricky Gervais. Oh, Shaquille O'Neal. Yeah, Shaquille O'Neal. Who's in the League of Extraordinary Guys? No, yeah, well we can call it the League of Extraordinary Guys? No, yeah, well, we can call it

the League of Extraordinary... Blokes? Yeah. League of Extraordinary Blokes. You've got Jason Statham, you've got Vinnie Jones. There's gotta be... Do they have to be British? No. I think Mr. T's the coach. Yeah, okay. Mr. T, I think, because he's like a senior member.

He may be the head of the League of Extraordinary Blokes. What is the... Describe the head of the League of Extraordinary Blokes. What does the cat, like, describe the kind of guy who gets into this league? Like a Jason Statham or a Vinnie Jones. So he's like, everything he touches turns to gold. He's tough. He's awesome.

He gets the ladies. Things blow up around him, he doesn't blow up. You know what? He's funny. He's got a sex appeal. he's got a five o'clock shadow so i would say that the rock used to be and then it was like he blew his knee out yeah and fell out of the league oh that's a good call kids move the rock no longer a part of the league of extraordinary blokes vin diesel vin diesel not ever considered for an Apple Ice Cube

Ice Cube from XXX2 I think and you know what I think Ice T owns the whole league you think that Ice T is like the guy that comes up on the monitor and is like attention league we have to we brought you here together well no well it kind

of yeah like he's the guy that started out really hardcore he was like the first kind of, yeah. Like, he's the guy that started out really hardcore. He was, like, the first kind of really tough, honestly tough dude to go from real life into movies and stuff. Okay. Yeah. And so, but now. Mostly stuff, though. True. Not many movies.

Oh, but a few movies. And he was a regular on television on NYPD Blue or whatever it was. Law and Order. Law and Order, sorry. But now he talks about his Tupperware. Like, I'm just saying that he's kind of moved on. Yeah, kind of moved on to the point where he's kind of the owner now. Vinnie Jones just recently got in a huge bar brawl that was captured on black and white CCTV. You don't watch TMZ.

Yeah. Check it out. Who else? Is there anybody we're missing from our League of Extraordinary Blokes? I don't understand if you're not letting Vin Diesel in. No, no, no. Because he could qualify physically for it, but I think he flunked out of the test.

I don't think he's as awesome as a Statham. Do you? Yes. Really? I think he says, uh, way too much. When you talk to Vin Diesel, there's a whole thing. If you YouTube it, you can go to Vin Diesel on his last movie. Bruce Willis?

Yes. A Bruce Willis? Does it have to be a bald guy? I prefer it. We are kind of going that way. I don't think, I think you and I appreciate Jason Statham in markedly different ways. I appreciate him that he's both bald and a sex symbol. That's the crux of what I appreciate about him.

Have you seen Hitman? Have you seen The Bank Job? Hitman stars Timothy Olyphant, not Timothy Elephant. He was one of the stars in Deadwood. Yeah, he was the main guy in Deadwood. You've never heard that name? Yeah, but it's still funny.

It's not not funny. We watched Hitman while in Thailand as well. How was Hitman? What you'd expect. So does one of his flawless. Deadwood is brilliant. If you can watch Deadwood is brilliant. Ooh! Ooh!

If you can watch Deadwood, Ian McShane is in the League of Extraordinary Blokes. Brilliant. I completely agree with that. If anybody out there,

any bumpers that are listening, if you want to contribute to the League of Extraordinary Blokes, you can send us... Bloke implies that they need to be British.

They don't need to be British, but that's just the name of the league. But do they need to be men? Yes. If you can find a woman that could

join the League of Extraordinary Blokes, I'm willing to hear about it. Like, absolutely, if you can think, Angelina Jolie, out. Demi Moore? No way. Trish Stratus? No, not interested. But you can send

any of those to stoppodcastingyourself at blogspot.com. No, at gmail.com. Oh, gmail.com. Go to blogspot to find out all the... Okay. Do you want to read this overheard? Yeah.

We've got a lot of overheards. We've got a lot of overheards. We've got a lot of hilarious pranks. We've got some great photos of things that people should know better. These were all things that we were doing, but this was our catch-up episode. I haven't seen Dave for a long time. Catsup. Sorry, I mispronounced it. But here is

one listener overheard that I enjoyed. There's quite a few others, and we will get to them in the next episode or two. But this is from Laura Dublin, from Dublin, Ireland. I don't think her last name is Dublin. No, but she said that we could call her that.

Her brother, well, I'll just read it the way it is. My brother dyed his hair blue when he was 16 and it wasn't the greatest look for him. One day he was walking past a grocery store. He was teased by kids that were hanging around outside it. He walked by and heard one of them say to the other, Hey, I could really go for a hot dog. A blue hair hot dog. All the kids laughed,

and the guy who said it high-fived his friend in triumph. I love that. That is so teenage boy. It was certainly better than my overheard. But just the, Hey, man, I could really go for a hot dog. A blue hair hot dog, am I right? And everybody high fives, and the kid feels bad about his blue hair.

Unless it was recorded in the west end of Vancouver. Oh, really? What, a lot of old people? Well, the kid had blue hair. Oh, like. And you go for a blue hair hot dog. That was a really bad penis reference, but anyway. Oh, I thought you were talking about blue hairs with

old ladies. I want to understand how a blue hair hot dog is a penis thing. Well, the hot dog is a penis thing. The blue hair is what the guy had. He dyed his hair blue. A blue haired hot dog. High five. Maybe that's what they were talking about. Maybe they were a bunch of gays.

I can probably cut this all out. No, no. This is great. What? Why? I don't understand. Yeah, I think this is fun. Okay. No, I like that.

You know what? You can always hear when we're getting too on the edge. Because Dave will start in, So, I was in Thailand. I don't know that this was too edgy. We were just trying to get to the bottom of the hot dog blue hair. Why would you call

a guy a hot dog? Have you guys actually had complaints about being too edgy? No. Well, start the new year off with a bang. I don't know. Anyway. I want to start the year off with some bling. Okay, so we've got a couple like a lot has happened

while we've been gone. Did you bring back stuff from Thailand? I brought back some stuff for you, Graham. Yes! My brother, oh yeah, another thing that happened to me while I was gone, became an uncle again. Oh! Hey! Double uncle! Triple uncle. Oh, wow.

All girls. Triple ex, triple uncle. Think about it. Triple uncle state of the union. There you go. Are you a good uncle? Are you a fun uncle? Not yet.

There's nothing to do. You can't. The children don't know fun yet. How old are they? The oldest is almost two. Oh, wow. So wow Wait you have different siblings These are by different siblings Wow this wasn't one lady just cranking about

John and Kate plus eight style My wife loves that show So we've got We've got a lot of stuff to catch up on My brother sent in a package of Graham bumpers. Which we will be eating on next week's episode. Yes. It's too much for this week.

It's too much. I have... Oh, we have a listener overheard an audio one. Well, ring in the new year with a listener overheard an audio one. But if you cut out that thing about hot dogs, I'll get so cross. Okay. Well, ring in the new year with a listener overheard an audio one. But if you cut out that thing about hot dogs, I'll get so cross. Okay. Hey, Dave and Graham, this is Oliver with two L's, and I've got kind of an overheard.

It's actually from my sister, so it's more of an overheard, overheard, overheard. One time her friend, for the sake of conversation, we'll call her Mary, and her friend's sister, again, for the sake of conversation, we'll call her Judy, they were sitting with their father and they were watching baseball. This was a few years ago now and I should note that these are all adults. Mary says, asks her father, are they allowed to steal bases? And her father says, yeah, they are. And Mary says, oh, I didn't know if that was legal or not. And her sister says says you fucking idiot

it's illegal to steal anything so uh yeah pretty bad but uh you know what I have to say

the language at the end caught me off guard yeah he said it very very I think you could make any uh story into a good

overheard if it contained the words, you fucking idiot. Fucking idiot. Great overheard. Thank you. Wonderful. So, yes. We've got a package of Graham bumpers.

We're going to eat it in the next episode. Damn right. We've got... We've got a whole slew of stuff that's going to happen. Yeah. But I brought back two gifts for Graham. All right! From Thailand.

It's like Christmas part two. Now, do you know Graham? Yes, I do. Who Rey Mysterio Jr. is? See the guy who revealed magic secrets? He dresses like him. Oh, no. I'm not sure that I do know who Rey Mysterio Jr. is.

All right, here's a shirt. Okay. Oh, he's the wrestler. Yeah. Oh, nice. How could you not guess that Rey Mysterio Jr. That totally sounds like a wrestler. Oh, that is an awesome shirt.

Oh, and it's like on one side it's all colorful. And then the other side is black except there's a space between my and stereo jr so it looks like my stereo jr so oh his name is supposed to be mysterio jr yeah but this is my stereo jr beautiful and so good so this is probably isn't authentic, right? No, probably not. But one thing, I've been to Thailand before, and one thing I noticed is that the fake stuff has gotten a lot better

since the last time I was there. Maybe that's why they put the space in. That looks like a pretty good quality garment. Yeah, the shirts before used to be this kind of... Old undershirts? Like they wouldn't get wet. Like you would sweat in them, and then somehow your shorts would be the only thing that got wet because all the liquid that went into your shirt would just come out into your shorts

just wick it away yeah but it wasn't like Nike dry fit that's where the ShamWow came from right and I got you another t-shirt and it is atrocious oh atrocious or attractive let's see it's black and i'm not sure what i'm looking at just yet uh it appears to be a baby with a mohawk holding a bat now turn it around and on the back holy that's the front that is atrocious it's a baby uh dressed in kind of gangster gear you could say with a uh cross around his neck giving the finger right to the viewer and uh with a ring yeah and then there's a lot of graffiti that says nothing no but some of it says like one of it says offspring, and something says coffee, and then something says crumb, which could be crumping.

That's what I mean when it says nothing. And then also, there's a thing that looks like the Denny sign. Oh, really? Yeah, that's covered up right there. See? That's the Denny sign. Oh, yeah. It's certainly the shape of it.

It's a polygon. Wow, that is outstanding. So that's the denny's oh yeah it's certainly the uh the shape of it and uh that is outstanding so that's the front yeah oh that's the front yeah and then this little guy is on the back yeah because that's the just the the brand is spike mohawk spike mohawk baby thanks dave hey you're welcome oh man those are gonna haunt my best. I was kind of feeling bad I didn't get a shirt myself, but now, hey, it's okay. You feel all right about it? I think he likes me more. And the other thing we wanted to get around to this episode was a listener sent in a Christmas gift package. Eric, I think was his name.

Yes, Eric. Eric M. Erica M I think was his name. Eric M. Erica M. Not to be confused. And he sent in something for Christmas. With the old Mush Music VJ. And we appreciate this. He sent this UPS.

Oh, which is unnecessary. Time is never of the essence unless you're sending us livestock. It's not livestock, is it? Hello, Graham and Dave. He writes, Happy Holidays, guys. Thank you for nearly an entire year of laughs.

Seems like he should have thanked us for the whole year. Well, we didn't start till March or May or whatever. Oh. I thought he was basically saying, Not all the episodes were great. So thanks for nearly a full year. I did the math. I included a few things to show my appreciation for what you guys do.

I included beard combs for Graham. Oh, hey, finally. This thing is out of control. Shoe insoles to help Dave when walking Grandpa. out of control. Shoe insoles to help Dave when walking Grandpa. One of my dog's favorite type of toys for Grandpa.

And a gift card to Best Buy for the next time you guys need some equipment. I look forward to next year's worth of laughs. Aw, thanks! Well, that's nice. I can't wait to get my beard all untangled. Oh, and then he writes in handwriting, Hey guys, I can't wait to get my beard all untangled. Oh, and then he writes in handwriting,

Hey, guys, I couldn't find decent beer combs. What? And there's certainly nothing you can do to edit something once it's been typed. Or any type of comb that was specifically for beards. So I included some cinnamons. Oh, cinnamons. Well, that's what you gotta do. Well, here's a selection of combs for Graham. Made in the USA.

These are the insoles. That's entirely necessary. I'm gonna start a podcast just for all the free shit. I know. This is from the American Comb Corporation. Oh, the ACC. My dog will enjoy this thing. That is a little...

Does it squeak? It probably squeaks. It says, squeeze me, I squeak. How's Grandpa going to hump that? Yeah. Oh, he'll find a way. Wow, this is great. There's a pocket comb.

It says, America Comb Corps presents a complete line of combs for all hair types, including pocket combs, styling combs, dresser combs, and hair lifts. All toys, the Curiously Strong Mint. Yeah. Yeah. Cinnamon flavor. Cinnamon. Damn right.

It's just hard to say with a lisp. Yeah, I guess it was. Cinnamon. You know what really gets me? It's the S's and the T's just so close together. Yeah. I had an audition and I actually had to say my own personal

theme song. That is so hard for me to say. How much was the gift card for? I purposely let that out. Oh, really? So you can trim that out. You guys can be classy.

I am the boorish dude from Alberta. That is boorish of you. Well done. Good stuff. Yeah. Look at this. Thank you. This product is made from the finest quality materials

and is guaranteed not to break in normal use. If any product defects do occur, we will replace it. Defects. Simply return it prepaid. Prepaid? What does that mean? Simply return it prepaid. Prepaid? What does that mean? Postage prepaid. But I think also you have to put an envelope in there with postage back.

Oh, so that they can send you your new comb. But the stamp is probably worth more than the comb is. That is impossible for us because we can't buy American stamps here. Toby, do you need a comb? No, I haven't combed this in years. Would Sarah enjoy a brand new comb?

It's a huge pack of combs. Sure, Sarah would love a comb. Yeah, what color of comb do you think is... She goes for blue. Oh, hey, I got a blue one. I'd like a blue one with Sarah's name on it. She's kind of a winter complexion. Thank you so much for sending that.

It's very, very sweet, Erica M. Eric M. It's a man. Yeah, that's name on it. She's kind of a winter complexion. Thank you so much for sending that. It's very, very sweet, Erica M. Eric M. It's a man. Yeah, that's what I said. He just put the R on the wrong place. Erica M. Yeah, exactly. Erica M.

But yeah, I think this was nice. I wanted to catch up. I was super glad to have you on the show. I'm super happy to be on the show, guys. I've been a new longtime listener. I've listened to a bunch of them. The podcast... He's a fan and a participant.

How often does that happen? A new longtime listener. That's a little confusing, though. Yeah. You guys should run a competition to local listeners. The official local listeners? Yeah, the official local listeners. They could submit and then you could have them on the show.

I don't think that's good. He says that's a bad idea. You should go to their house. We tried a contest before and it was... I don't like being the... I don't like that people have to lose the contest. Dave doesn't like losers.

Yeah. It really bums me out that people would to lose the contest. Dave doesn't like losers. Yeah. It really bums me out that people would lose a contest and still be involved in the show. That's true. Better to have loved and lost than never loved at all. Who wrote that? Probably Shakespeare. No, I think it was my, what is his name?

Mysterio something? Your grandfather? Ray Mysterio. So grandfather? Ray Mysterio. So you're just robbing somebody of the opportunity to have won. Yeah. Yeah. That's fine. I'm robbing them of it.

So, well, okay, yeah. Then I declare this podcast wrapping up. Next week, all sorts of things. We'll be doing more catch-up on the listener side of things. What with the Fantastic Pranks that were sent in. The Fantastic Four. The Fantastic Four 2.

Overherds. Photos. All those things. The Rise of the Silver Surfer. Et cetera. But really, the kind of the goal, the aim of this episode is we really do want to hear who you think should be included in the League of Extraordinary Blokes. Right.

So you can send any and all recommendations. Who have we got again? So far, Jason Statham. Vinny Jones. Ian McShane. Ian McShane. Mr. T. Mr. T.

Senior member. Maybe Bruce Willis. Possibly Bruce Willis. Also possibly Ice Cube. And we've had The Rock actually be a part of the team but blow his knee out and is no longer in the league. And Ice T is some sort of father figure.

So anybody else that you think belongs in that category? And women, if you can find a woman who can hold her... We are misogynists at heart, though. No, that means that we like to give ladies massages. And yeah, if you want to send any of those or any comments whatsoever to our email, it's stoppodcastingyourself at gmail.com.

And please do check out the recap blog at stoppodcastingyourself.blogspot.com. And Toby, do you have anything to plug? Do you have a website or anything? Yeah, you know what? I'll plug two. I have my own website, which is ctobylive.com. And that's S-E-E. Thank you for spelling that.

Yeah, a lot of people look at it and go, C2 by live? I don't get it. And our new website, which will be up in about a month or so, which is freefoodandbeer.com. Free food and beer. Freefoodandbeer beer.com i like the sound of it is it actually going to be some sort of uh resource to get free beer uh no actually it'll be more of a media and promoting some shows that we're doing in the lower mainland here in some theaters fantastic yeah it'll be good uh so yeah

check out free foodandbeer.com in about a month. Yeah, or you can go now and there's just a placeholder and you can bookmark it. And see Toby live, S-E-E, Toby, T-O-B-Y,

live.com. And thank you so much for coming out and being a part of the podcast. Everybody out there, thank you so much for listening. If you enjoyed the podcast, tell your friends. And, you know do uh come back again next week for another thrilling edition of stop

podcasting yourself Bye.