Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 468 - Jenny Toews
Episode Date: March 6, 2017Comedian Jenny Toews joins us to talk teen chauffeuring, Korean buses, and regulating heat....
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hi, he's Dave Shumka.
And he's Graham Clark.
And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself.
Woo!
Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 468 of Stop Podcasting Yourself.
My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who claims that cheese strings are good for anybody 8 to 80.
Mr. Dave Shumkin.
Well, I was trying to do one of those things where they encompass every age, but I came up with 8 to 80.
Two-year-olds love them. Yeah, five-year-olds go crazy for them um so i went then i backpedaled
from 2 to 22 but that's not i can see a 24 year old in july i'm 36 and i like them
do you remember the cheese string commercial was he a little guy that had cheese hair?
Yeah.
Do you remember what the song was?
No.
It was the number one song that was in every commercial.
Everything I do, I do it for you?
Yep.
At that time, yeah.
No, it was Wild Thing.
Oh, Wild Thing.
Yeah, yeah. Back to the words cheese string.
Oh, I do. Yeah, yeah. Back to the tune, to the words cheese train. Oh, I do remember that.
Yeah.
What's the other song that's been ruined by commercials?
Unbelievable?
For the cheese crumbles, you're crumb believable?
Oh.
Born to be wild, I feel like, has been in a lot of ads for minivans.
Oh, yeah.
Bad to the bone.
Bad to the bone.
Yeah.
Anything that's like...
Those used to be...
For nasty white men.
Our guest today on the podcast, not a nasty white man, a very funny comedian, and first
time guest on the podcast, Miss Jenny Taves is our guest.
Hello.
Thanks for having me.
I'm very excited.
I can tell. You Taves. Hello. Hello. Thanks for having me. I'm very excited. I can tell.
You're buzzing.
Welcome.
Yeah, welcome.
Hi.
I can tell.
You're not being cool.
Yeah.
I can tell how excited you are.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
How badly this is going for you.
I kid.
Want to get to know us?
Oh, absolutely.
Get to know us? Oh, absolutely. So, Jenny.
Mm-hmm.
How's it going?
It's going well.
Yeah?
Yeah.
What's new and exciting?
You've got a day gig that you came directly from.
Mm-hmm.
Or you, would you call it, you're a gardener or a landscaper?
Well, I like to say I'm a gardener because that, like, if I say I'm a landscaper in my mind, I'm like, I work a blue collar job and I wear steel-toed boots.
Ah.
But do you think a gardener is more white collar?
No.
I think because I'm a gardener, I'm better than other people.
I'm just kidding.
No.
What kind of boots do you wear?
That's the part of the job that I like.
Do you wear steel-toed boots?
I don't.
Okay, well then.
Oh, okay.
Mostly don't.
Really?
Mostly don't.
Yeah.
We have a job we're doing
like at a high-rise
where we're redoing
all their planters
and their patio
and because we're like
working technically
for construction guys
then for their rules
then I have to wear steel-toed boots.
Do you have to wear a hard hat?
If I'm working under their scaffolding, yes.
And as long as you're working under our scaffolding.
I love beautiful gardens under scaffolds.
Is that a thing that happens a lot where you're working under the construction company banner?
I've never done that before.
No.
So you never had to wear the hard hat.
I've never worn a hard hat.
We talked a little bit off the air about flowers.
What are the big flowers that everyone loves?
Yeah, what are the top flowers right now?
Top flowers?
Not right now.
Like year after year.
Like what do I plant the most?
How long have you done this?
This is my, I think this is my fifth this will be my
fifth summer so do they change is is it always the same or i've planted a lot of the same thing
uh-huh what's big yeah uh the big ones are uh geraniums uh-huh let me write this down yeah
you got your dave's thing he's sending his mother garden. You got your begonias. Begonia, sure.
What's a begonia?
They're lovely.
They come in many different varieties.
This is something you can answer for every flower.
I think I know what a geranium is, but I don't think I know what a begonia is.
I don't like those really ugly flowers.
Yeah.
What's the ugliest flower?
Oh, yeah.
Ooh.
Ah.
Like there's that one that it blooms every year
And it smells like corpses
Yeah but that's
Skunk cabbage
Oh skunk cabbage
Is that a flower?
I don't know
There's calla lilies which people get confused with those I think
Uh huh
Might be wrong and might just sound like an idiot now
Ugly flower
I don't really think there's many.
Yeah, I don't think there are, but maybe.
I mean, there's plants that people plant for like not, like people plant certain plants for the leaves and certain plants for the flowers.
Sure.
So the ones that you plant for the leaves, they have flowers, but people always cut them off because they don't like them.
Right.
They want the leaves.
Like a hosta.
Oh, you got to have a hosta.
Yeah.
La vista, I always say.
Or a dusty miller.
A dusty miller?
Oh, I'd like a cold dusty miller after a long day of work on the ranch.
Yeah.
What is a dusty miller?
It's like a gray colored thing.
So it's a leaf.
It's a leaf one.
You put it for the foliage and it's sort of soft to the touch.
All I know is waxy to the touch.
Yeah.
A lot of waxy.
Begonias, they've got some waxy leaves.
You're not supposed to touch most of these things.
Oh, you do though.
Yeah, for sure.
But I was always told to.
Me too.
I was always told not to touch flowers.
What were the ones that were...
You touch flowers a lot.
I knew for work, but...
Snowdrops?
And I would squeeze them?
What are snowdrops?
I think that's what they were.
They're coming up right now.
They're the little...
They're the little, like, white...
They look like little raindrops.
They're really small.
They're kind of...
You know what crocuses are?
The purple ones?
Yeah, I know what a crocus is.
So you'll see them
around the same time,
but they kind of hang down.
Oh, okay.
I'll tell you
the spring is coming.
What are the fuzzy things
on a branch?
Pussy willows?
Yeah.
Do you know
what pussy willows are?
No.
Well, actually,
maybe pussy willows
It's safe to assume
we don't know
what anything is.
Did you know
any of this
before you got the job
or do you have
a background in it?
Actually, I was going
to tell you a thing
that's not true.
I was going to tell you
that pussy willows
are magnolia buds but they're actually their own thing.
Okay.
But magnolias, before they bloom, their buds are very soft, like pussy willows.
Okay.
But you don't know what pussy willows are.
Pussy willows, I think, are just their own thing.
Do they just always stay that way?
I think so.
They don't bloom into anything.
I don't think so.
Because I've never seen, they're not like.
I don't think I see them around as much as I.
No, I think there's something you show a kid and be like, hey, play with this for four minutes.
Yeah, yeah.
Like I saw them when I was a kid.
They were on a branch.
Oh, that's cool.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I have one in my car right now.
Just in case?
Just to, you know, if you need a little, like, a sensory thing.
Like, just to calm yourself down?
Maybe I'm driving and stressful, just grab the little pussy.
That's not bad.
It's not a thing that I do.
Too late.
You've already said you did.
I have one of them in there.
That's a very, you know, because other because other people would just like swear or smoke a cigarette or tailgate a guy but you're just in there feeling the soft what's your worst driving habit
texting and driving yours um i mean i'm like I guess I'm maybe too courteous.
Yeah.
You work too hard.
Yeah.
What?
No, I remember when, before iPhones came around, and people were, you know, texting wasn't that big a thing.
And there was like, you know, they're going to make cell phones illegal in your car because people were, you know, texting wasn't that big a thing. And there was like, you know, they're, they're going to make cell phones illegal in your
car because people are calling in the car or even worse.
Can you imagine texting in your car?
Now everyone kind of does it.
I texted back in the days of T9, like texting on a phone where you didn't have the, the
letters.
You just had the numbers and you had to say hey to someone.
You had to press the button like nine times to get to the letter.
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
So if I texted and drove then, it's like, this is, I'm going to be fine.
I'm going to crash a T9.
I'm great with an iPhone.
Yeah, they should, that's how they should teach teenagers how to drive.
They should give them an old flip phone.
Yeah.
Right.
Say, hey, we're going to the Drake concert tonight.
Well, it should be something flip phone related.
Sure.
We're going to see Shaggy.
We're going to watch Drake on Degrassi.
We're going to go see it to a viewing party.
Where do you get your license here in BC?
I did.
Okay, because it's this weird, like a graduated system out here.
When I got my license, it was a one-shot deal.
Well, my brother, I think he had a learner's license for six weeks,
and then he got his full license.
Whoa.
Wait, no, that's what I did.
He's only six years older than me.
And then by the time I did it, I had to go have a learner's for a year.
Right.
And then a novice for like two years.
Okay.
Also, to get my class five, I failed that one a couple times.
Oh, you gotta.
Because I didn't master the T9 yet.
No, yeah, that's what it was with me.
It was six weeks.
Yeah, I think now, did you have to drive around with an N on your car?
No.
No, so that.
You had to have a sign that you could, it'd just be a homemade sign that says student driver.
And you put it in the back when you drove, and no one ever checked.
Yeah.
And I guess if you got pulled over.
So you and your brother, it was just the cutoff was like slightly different.
I guess so.
Yeah.
Oh, well.
You're driving now, driving and texting, putting everyone's life in danger.
Someone actually, I was at a light that was red.
And so I was texting.
That means stop, right?
Yeah.
I had stopped.
I had come to a full stop.
And I was texting.
And then I looked up.
And it had just changed the screen.
But I was still, like, I looked up. And the guy behind had just changed the green but i was still like i
looked up and the guy behind me i guess he could see that i was texting so he honked so i i went
and then i could just see him just like just the solid wow for like a while and i was like okay
like he's right but it was still a little i was like oh yeah that's kind of mean but you held up
the pussy willow i'm still i'm nice when you got your license you were like 14 uh yeah because you
were driving a tractor yeah i was driving a tractor on the highway uh on the the shoulder
of the highway what was it uh 14 you could get your learners. Woo!
And I think, what was the restriction?
Is that somebody, it was real loosey-goosey,
somebody in the car had to have a license.
Had to know a license.
Had to know, yeah.
But it could be your buddy, or in our case,
a guy we didn't really like, but who had his license. Oh, sure.
So he was like, kind of had his license. Oh, sure.
So he was like kind of token.
This was in Alberta.
Oh, that's the equivalent of in standup, like hiring someone to open for you because they had a car.
Oh, yeah.
That's the, I would say anybody who's thinking about getting into standup, get a car first.
Get a car, learn how to maintain it. And then get into standup.
Yeah, work on like your first solid
half hour of the car um and then johnny will pull you over to the couch
now you have a car yeah uh you got a pussy willow in it yeah have you always had a car you've or
was there ever a period where you were a transit person?
When I first moved to Vancouver, I could drive, but I didn't have a car for the first three years.
And then you were like...
And then I was kind of...
My family lives in Abbotsford, so they would come and either drive here to get me.
Yeah, there's no transit out there.
Or I would drive to Surrey central and they would come
and it was just like this is silly so then i got a car and uh yeah driving and everything the rest
is herstory is abbotsford because i've only been there i would say like four times the whole time
i've lived out here is it like is it its own town what is it is it? Is it weird? Is it weird? For people not from here, Abbotsford is maybe the furthest suburb, but maybe its own thing.
And it might be farm country also?
Definitely its own thing.
Like, it's not in...
Sure.
I wouldn't say it's in Greater Vancouver by any means.
But some people commute.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Which is nuts, because it's so far.
It's like... I mean, I'm used to it, but you can get, if traffic is good, you can get there in 45 minutes.
That's far.
That's far.
That's far.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
But what is it out there?
It's a horse, people.
Yeah.
Does it have its own stuff out there?
It's the farm.
It's the Berry.
At one point, it was the Berry capital of Canada. Oh. It might be still. What? Now It's the Barry at one point it was the Barry capital of Canada.
It might be still
they have a giant
piece of art
off the highway
that's just
like a raspberry
the size of
your house.
We could be
recording the
podcast
in a raspberry?
You probably
should look into it.
But what
you say
it might not be anymore.
Is there like a rival berry city?
Not that I know of.
Berry Hunter.
My first job was working on a berry farm.
Bacon?
Sort of.
It was this big machine that goes through the aisles of bushes
and then it rustles up the things so that all the berries fall off.
And then they go on these conveyor belts and then they come up.
And my job was to pick off the duds.
Oh.
Yeah, I didn't eat a raspberry for like 10 years after that.
Let me tell you, you didn't do a very good job.
Because every container of berries I get is like half duds.
Yeah.
It's those.
I feel like raspberries are the type of berries I get is like half duds. Yeah. I feel like raspberries are the type of berries
that if you're driving through the country
and you see a stand that's selling
them, that's the one good time to
eat them. Everywhere else, like you say,
you open them up, half of them
are moldy, some of them are like just
sour, crazy sour.
One of them is moldy, but then it just has
spread within five minutes to all of the other ones.
What's a you pick?
Oh, they're wonderful.
Tell me.
You go to a farm, like a berry farm, and you pick your own berries and you pay them.
You basically pay them to work for them.
Because they're like, we don't want to buy one of those rustling robots.
You get to take the berries home and eat them. Because they're like, we don't want to buy one of those rustling robots. You get to take the berries home and eat them.
You like pay for,
you take a bucket
and you just go
and pick berries all day
and then you weigh it.
But it's cheaper than,
than a store.
It's pretty cheap actually.
Okay.
I mean it's,
yes,
cheaper.
It feels like something
that somebody
who was going to make
their own jam would do.
Sure.
Like,
I'm going to do
this whole process myself.
You can grow
raspberries in a garden. My parents had raspberries for a while. My, well, I'm going to do this whole process myself. You can grow raspberries in a garden.
My parents had raspberries for a while.
My uncle and aunt had them for years.
I guess maybe we had some sort of berry that just grew on the side of our house.
We didn't cultivate.
What are those berries that are like a part of holly?
Oh, yeah.
Holly berries?
I guess so.
Yeah. The actress? that are like a part of holly oh yeah holly berries i guess so yeah the actress uh uh because
margo picked one out the other day we were on a walk and she was like oh look at this berry and i
said no you can't eat that it's poison i'm not sure it's poison i wouldn't eat it yeah i think
it's poison but i can't trust her to like you know you know, if you tasted it, you'd be like, oh, this tastes terrible.
I can't trust her with that.
Right.
Because I tried giving her coffee because I was like, she's going to hate this.
And she loved it.
I don't even put sugar in my coffee.
Oh, man.
She's going to, yeah, she's going to be like just a drink of black kind of lady.
Real tough broad. Yeah yeah well can you we put
some of those berries in the coffee oh weird bitter gross berries was that your first job
the berry berry farm yes yeah okay sorry sorry i got distracted by the fact that they were using
robots to harvest our berries i don't know that every machine is a robot but not every robot is a machine
um so but like did you grow up not on a farm no you just grew up in a house there's very
neighborhood-y yeah but is there like like are there bars and stuff in Abbotsford?
I don't understand if it's...
The thing about
Abbotsford is it's
like, it's also a
Bible Belt.
So there's loads and
loads and loads and
loads of churches.
And then it's also
like a main Hell's
Angels hub.
Yeah.
So it's an
interesting city.
Well, that makes
sense.
Lots of gang
activities.
Churches, Hell's
Angels.
Tons of gang
activity.
Really?
Yeah.
So not a lot of
drinking, but a lot of gang activity. So you could gets Angels. Tons of gang activity. Really? Yeah. So not a lot of drinking, but a lot of gang activity.
So you could get some good.
I don't know.
I mean, the drinking doesn't need to be widespread.
Yeah, that's true.
But there's not like, there's like gang clubhouses there and stuff like that?
Well, it's just like.
Wow.
Hells Angels have a clubhouse.
I'm picturing a treehouse.
Hey, boys.
What kind of havoc are we going to wreak tonight?
They used the churches on the off days.
Oh, sure, yeah.
Sundays, people would gather to worship,
and then it was a drug front the rest of the day.
Yeah, a real awkward crossover.
No, just like certain restaurants
and pubs were were fronts right oh yeah we had those here yeah for like the vietnamese mafia
sure yeah what's a neighborhood without a front exactly um uh speaking of churches i was walking
through my neighborhood the other day and i've always noticed this sign that says the local church
one of them has a uh like a youth coffee house okay so like you can you know sing your song and
or like i don't know what people read your poetry oh i see it's like a picture of a guy with a
guitar coffee house and it's every saturday from 11 in the morning to 3 in the afternoon.
It's a four-hour.
Yeah.
What is it, like an open mic thing?
I guess so.
How many people, but like, how do you sustain?
I don't know.
Not a lot of teens up by 11.
You know, teens love sleeping in.
I mean, I still love it.
I'm sure they're like, oh, I hope i can headline this week i hope they put me
up after 2 p.m do you think i can sleep in do you think that it's all church material or is somebody
going on up there and i mean hosier ah that's about church though no it's not the church is a metaphor. For what? A sexy body, I think? Take me to your sexy body?
Yeah.
Oh.
Yeah, but that's, I don't know.
Like, when you're a teen, there's just so little for you to do.
You know?
Like, there's this awkward time after you're in scouts.
And there's, like, that kind of level of thing to do.
Laser tag.
There's an awkward time after you're in scouts.
Not everyone's in scouts, Greg.
No, but that age where you're like between 15 and 18,
there's like nothing for you to do.
Who stays in scouts until 14?
Quite a few of my friends.
When you said after scouts, I thought you meant nine.
No, no, no.
No, you wouldn't even start scouts until.
Well, I'm sorry.
I was thinking of cubs.
Yes, you were thinking of cubs.
But, you know, there's nothing for you to do as a teen.
That's where the teens get into the drugs and the teen pregnancy, you see.
I think we talk about this a lot.
Oh, yeah.
About how on like a Friday night you'd go out with your friends to a pool hall.
Yeah.
Because you thought that's what adults did.
What would you do when you were
like 15 on a
Friday night? What was
Jenny Taves up to? I was pretty tired from going to
like the afternoon open mic
at my church.
Oh yeah.
And your headliner. Kind of decompressing from that.
What were you going up there singing
Wonderwall? What were you doing?
Wonderwall again. doing poetry slams
with the book of Psalms
oh wow
can you do Wonderwall
but with like
kind of a Jesus
Jesus like
twinge
yeah what was
what was the
the teenage
Jenny Taves experience
which is playing all this week they're a planetarian we're a really niche band Yeah, what was the teenage Jenny Taves experience?
Which is playing all this week.
We're a really niche band.
I lived sort of out in the country when I was in high school.
So until I got my driver's license, it was just kind of hanging out at home.
Right.
Because everyone thought driving 15 minutes out into farmland was was really like a long way to go yeah yeah where would you want to go like i don't know like oh
movies oh that's what i did yeah my best friend worked for uh the movie theater and mission so i
saw movies almost every weekend yeah different city a different city to see movies?
We had some cinemas, but they were you know
They weren't like
the big silver city ones
with the big screens and the comfy chairs
Abbotsford wasn't quite there
It wasn't what it is today
Oh boy, guys
All the movies were about
the Hells Angels
Because I guess out in the country it would be
it would have to be house party or house party too yeah well those would be the two movies
playing at the abbotsford cinema yeah i thought you were talking about what we did yeah no
we switched in the middle um but like or like a bush party. Did you ever have those?
We... But like I lived in the city and I just watched TGIF.
But I always assumed it's different out in the country because you're just out like,
go out in the country.
Oh, sure.
Go play with a wolf.
I just honestly didn't...
I wasn't like a cool
kid so i just what are the cool kids what do you think the cool kids were doing maybe they i'm
assuming had bush parties making out in a barn you could hear if you listened like the closest
thing i ever had was i had a bunch of friends over one night after i think it was might have been after my prom actually but uh we had what did you wear
to prom yeah oh it was like a a blue you had did you ever see the movie runaway bride
it was a prom dress inspired by one of the dresses that she wears because she wears a lot
oh she was like 27 dresses in that?
Oh, it's running away from reddings.
It was just like a blue dress that was, it was just very standard.
But did you get it because it was the runaway bride?
I got it because it was cheap, actually.
I wasn't into prom, and it was like the second dress I tried on.
Now, Graham and I were totally into prom.
Yeah, I got there a week early just to help set up.
I camped out.
Outside the limousine. Yeah, I wanted there a week early just to help set up. I camped out outside the limousine. Yeah, I
wanted the best dancing spot on the floor.
Yeah.
Was your prom, was it any good?
Was it a night to remember? It was okay.
You know what happened actually?
This is embarrassing. My dad
and I had fixed up this old car
that he bought.
Now this is the country stuff I'm talking about.
We reupholstered the car and made it all nice.
Okay.
Reupholstered the inside and the outside.
Very safe.
And I used said car to drive my best friend and her boyfriend to the prom.
Oh, man.
Because I was going with my girlfriends.
Right.
It means I couldn't get a date.
So you were kind of like a sassy chauffeur.
What was that movie where...
Let's call it that.
Driveaway Bride.
Eric Stoltz and Leah Thompson.
Some kind of wonderful where he gets his friend to be their chauffeur.
Not a great place to be in. do they make out at all while you
were driving around no no it was just awkward for all three just like were they i don't think i
realized at the time like what this meant like what the implications of this were for me like
how much a loser it made did you were they at least like impressed by by the bolstering?
They were like, your car looks awesome.
This is so cool.
He was like, do you want to drive me in Jenna?
So he was trying to pay you a compliment?
And he gave me this really cool old vintage Beatles record as a thank you.
Well, that's pretty good.
So he was your best friend?
No, she was.
But he liked the car and asked
if i would drive them in it wow that's i was like a prom attendee slash parent
yeah just like you have my daughter back before midnight and you i don't know who you are
fancy chauffeur
wearing a dress.
Yeah.
You have my daughter
home before midnight
and you,
I guess,
make sure that happened?
Yeah.
Check your oil every,
so many kilometers.
You got a lot of
pussy willows in there.
What,
what type of car?
Was it an old car?
It was a 1965 Chevy Impala.
Oh, wow.
So it was like a giant.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Huge car.
Big land yacht.
Yes, that's exactly what my mother called it.
Yeah, one of my friends who drove in high school, he had a 19-
Wheels?
Was it your friend Wheels?
Yeah.
Well, no, it was Snake.
This is real life, Dave.
Not everybody had to have a nickname
that went with what they did.
Oh, okay.
Was your friend Speedster?
But he had like a 19...
It was an Impala like from 1976.
It was so big and so like...
Oh, just trying to get it to start.
Oh, it was crazy.
Once it started, we were afraid to turn it off.
Sometimes we didn't.
Sometimes we just let it idle for three hours.
It's weird when you drive one of those old cars.
Like if you're used to driving a modern car that has just power steering and you don't have to like hurt yourself to turn a corner.
It had the loosest steering ever. And the wheel was like huge.
And you could just like, I could just do it with like my finger.
It was crazy.
Oh, like a video game.
Yeah, or like an old phone.
It also like you could take the key out of the ignition while you were driving.
Oh, cool.
Just a little fun.
Do a line of cocaine up.
Yeah, just add a little thrill.
It broke down on the highway on me once. and then I was sitting on the shoulder, and every
car that went by it, the car would just rumble, because it was just this old.
Oh, yeah.
It was crazy.
And then this old man drove up in front of me and got out of his truck and just gestured
me over, and I was like, oh, wait.
I didn't even think anything happened.
19-year-old girl just like, yeah, I'll get in the car with this.
Oh, whatever.
We're in farm country.
What's the worst thing that could happen?
Oh, they could bury me anywhere.
He drove me to work.
What time is your shift, Dad?
And I'll be here to pick you up.
I'm your new dad.
Let's realster my car.
This is the law of the country.
You can pay me in berries.
Was your dad a fix-it guy?
Yes.
So, like, yeah, because I don't know.
How would you even begin to reupholster a car?
I got this car and look, it came with all these brand new seats.
What a fun project.
And you were like, oh, okay.
It came with all of their brand new
seats without upholstery on them?
They were like the car, like the bench
seats, they were all torn up and
gross. They were deupholstered.
And then somehow he had like
the original
stock version of those. And he he just like the covers that should go
on those seats he's like i got it from one of these fronts uh hard job like not easy to do
well it's because we don't yeah to put the car through the sewing machine yeah i wouldn't know
like do you know how to do that kind of stuff no i don't even remember how we did it
i just remember there's a lot of like real tight like you know it's like when you have a fitted
sheet for your mattress and they're like really fitted and it's like really hard yeah yeah yeah
like that but with cars and then like it'll go on but then i wake up in the morning and one of the corners has come off but with cars i uh uh yeah i never like the one thing i think my dad and i did was like he removed the bathtub
from like the upstairs bathroom i don't know how we did it like i couldn't tell you we did it
and it was horrible but i couldn't tell you what like, if you asked me to do it again, I would
have no idea how he did it.
Yeah.
Same.
Yeah.
I, my parents, when we, they bought the house that they live in now, I was like, uh, 11
maybe.
Mm-hmm.
And they, like it, the whole thing was renovated from top to bottom but the like before any of that started they were like dave go in we're renting a uh a like the steamer to remove wallpaper oh yeah and so dave we want
you to go over and do it it was just busy work like i did it with my brother but you're like
what do i know yeah and also you're doing this is going to be a year-long
renovation job maybe get one of the qualified people who will be here every day
you're like i'm taking it off in small triangles
um yeah i don't know i feel like there's a lot of, well, I don't know. They would, like, fix it dads.
Mm-hmm.
And then, like, my friends whose dads would, like, fix a car or whatever were always, like, permanently sitting there handing them wrenches.
Oh.
That was, like.
Yeah, yeah.
Did you do a lot of that kind of stuff?
No.
Lots of, no?
Excuse me.
My two, it was me and two older brothers and the middle one is the one that's
the most like into mechanics and stuff right so the two of them would just like dinner time
conversations would just turn into like transmissions and torque and numbers and
letters just like okay like i guess we're just gonna yeah yeah you're like speaking of torque
peter torque was in the monkeys.
I have this vintage Beatles record my friend gave me.
The movie Tork is playing Two Towns Over.
Oh, yeah.
So he would be the wrench passer anyway.
Yeah.
So that's nice that you didn't have to do that.
Totally.
Like, because, yeah, I feel like it was just whoever would put up the least fight.
Whenever they came up with the magazine Popular Mechanics, did popular mean something different back then?
I think there was a time, like, if you owned a car that you kind of had to, you know at least like change you changed your own oil like
you wouldn't go to an oil change place that would have been crazy now it's all i do yeah well now i
wouldn't know i'm addicted i have a strange addiction to oil change places i go to a
different one every day just to use their wi-fi and get a free copy of newspaper i uh i nearly worked in one just because they're
always they're the one place that is always has help wanted and uh my friend told me why because
it's just uh it's the most horrible job and you're you have to keep your arms above your head for
like so much of the day i could barely do it for as long as i was saying arms above your head for like so much of the day i could barely do it for as long
as i was saying arms above your head before they got tired well unless you're the greeter oh yeah
there's a guy above there's a guy down below but then there's a guy above who's got the cleanest
hands yeah i want to be him the greeter i guess he has to unscrew the top stuff. Lift the hood. Look out below, he says.
Yeah.
So could you?
Did your dad teach you?
Can you change Dave's oil? My dad has done everything for me
for all of my cars.
Pretty much, yeah.
And did you take him along as a vetting
to buy a car?
To buy your vet?
Yeah, well, I've been pretty lucky. I haven't actually really had to buy a car to buy your vet yeah well i've been i've been pretty luck like lucky i haven't actually
really had to buy a car or he's been or he's had a connection like oh here's a good car for you
this much money or he's found the seats and he needs we need ria paul spring if you're needed
if you want to come hang out with me it has extra seats in case you want to show for any of your other friends
did you were you ever the the kind of the chauffeur friend because you had a license or
did all your friends drive out in the country out there they drove too but you were it i'm kind of
yeah i think so i don't know I'm really dissecting your childhood.
I'm really trying to go there.
You're really getting into this.
You're going down deeper in the chauffeuring well,
and I'm telling you, this well is dry.
When did you come out to Vancouver?
Is that a thing everybody in Abbotsford,
like one day when I can, I can I'll move into the city
or do people stay
in Ebsford
people stay there
wow
growing up they're like
one day I'm gonna stay here
and be a hell's angel
yeah
see that clubhouse
I'm gonna have a key to it
do they have keys
probably fobs
people
no yeah
people stay there
and get married
and have babies
do you go back and visit these people?
Yeah.
Yeah, my family's still there.
I'm pretty close with them.
Well, that's good.
But, like, do you go back and see the friends and be like,
oh, I'm having all these crazy times in the big city.
And they're like, we are crazy.
We have a thousand babies.
There's really only one friend that I'm still, like, regularly,
that I still see but that's you
know that's what facebook's for yeah exactly yeah that's true it really did kind of do away with
having to like ever call somebody and be like hey what's going on or even talk to somebody if you
bumped into them on the street and yet it's also kept you know your most sort of like forgettable relationships
alive that's true i guess like people i would never ever think about from high school just
pop up on my feed yeah exactly oh chris talarico's uh he's going to the dentist today
they put an addition above their garage.
Cool.
What was Chris Tallarico's deal in high school?
I don't know.
I was thinking about him earlier in the week, and I was like, he's got a great name, but I don't remember anything about him.
He had blonde hair.
Oh, boy.
That was his thing.
Real toe hair.
Women can't resist it.
Maybe he had braces.
Can't remember.
Those teeth.
Yeah.
But, you know, I know from Facebook that he's doing all right.
I mean, if that's the right salary.
I've friended people who had the same name as somebody I went to high school with, and they accepted my friend invitation, and then it wasn't the person that I knew.
So now I also follow people that
I don't know who had the same name
as people I went to high school with.
You have this information and you keep them
on Facebook anyway?
Why don't you just unfriend them?
Because, you know, now
we're closer friends than the high school
Yeah, what if you need a kidney?
Yeah, Brian.
A Tallarico.
It's gotta be.
The doctor says it has to be from a Tallarico.
Your blood type is Tallarico.
I gotta tell you, your mom is so fat her blood type is Ragu.
Your blood type, we've got good news and bad news.
The good news is you've kept in touch with some Tallarico.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And how long?
What kind of chauffeuring do you do?
I don't think there's anything that tops me chauffeuring my friends to the prom.
That's probably the funniest and saddest one.
Other than that, it's just comedians in Vancouver after shows.
Yeah.
Do they sit in the back?
Yeah, I have a timer.
Oh, yeah.
You know, the cab counter. counter the meter is it called yeah
a timer well time's up i don't know if we're at your location
um did you go to your prom yeah was there an after party um there were it didn't pan out and
it was a like a huge rainstorm that night so everyone kind of
bailed yeah because there was an after party but like nobody told me that it was a byob i thought
just i thought there's once you know that it was because it was a special night that it would be uh
there would be liquor nope so i was just out, like hoping that somebody would leave their drink unattended so I could finish it.
I, at my prom, I didn't drink in high school.
Right.
And at my prom, I got a migraine.
Oh.
And I like, so I just went into a corner and like lay down on a couch that they had.
And everyone was like, Dave's wasted.
But, uh.
My, the after party that I was talking about before, the closest to a bush party was this.
I think it was the, I think it was after my prom.
We had, I had my friends over cause there was, I'm sure there was an after party, but.
No one told you.
I wouldn't have known about it.
So I invited my friends and we had.
Were your, the friends that you were chauffeuring, were they like, just drop us in this forest.
We'll get a.
This is far enough.
Thanks.
Here's your Beatles record.
Have a good night.
She loves you.
Bye.
I don't even have a turntable to play this on.
Okay, have fun.
You can just drag a needle around over it.
And I say goodbye.
Goodbye.
Get the fuck out of here.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We're staying in the woods tonight.
Maybe you can drive your car away from here.
We're gonna
feel each other's boobs.
Feel each other's boobs.
Yeah, the lucky
lady who got to go under the shirt
over the
guy's sports bra. Why don't we do it
in the boobs? Get out!
So this party you had
turned into a bush party?
Well, I mean, I lived out in sort of a farmy area.
Yeah.
And we had a place in our yard for fires.
Okay, sure.
And near there we had...
For burning garbage.
Yeah, we had a Christmas tree.
So when is prom?
Like May?
Yeah.
So we still had our Christmas tree sitting outside.
So by now it was dry.
Like very, very, very dry.
Perfect for burning. We had a good fire going outside. So by now it was dry. Very, very, very dry. Perfect for burning.
We had a good fire going and then everybody was standing near it.
And then I threw the Christmas tree on the fire.
Everyone's making it.
And you run up.
No!
America's a motherfucker!
Oh my God!
Yeah, but people instantly step back like 10 feet and the flames are the highest thing
so crackly it was it was beautiful oh man that's that's pretty good it was pretty fun yeah you
know how to make your own if you have a christmas tree lying around just keep it for about five
months it'll burn up real good. And find the most
uncool kids in school. And then just
let them have it. And let them have the time
of their lives.
That's what that Green Day song's about.
Exactly. Lighting Christmas trees up.
Uh-huh.
Yeah. Well, so
if you were way
out in the country, what are you like
around Halloween, what would you like around Halloween?
What would you do?
Now that I'm thinking holiday wise.
Would you go into a city to trick or treat?
I was in high school by then, so I didn't trick or treat.
Oh, I see.
This was a later in life farm. But at Christmas time, they would take the old pumpkin that was still left over and burn it in the front yard.
Oh, I wonder if that'd smell bad.
Probably really bad.
Oh, it smelled good.
You burnt a pumpkin? Pops a spice latte. I wonder if that'd smell bad. Probably really bad. It smelled good. You burnt a pumpkin?
Pumpkin spice latte.
Oh, yeah.
Roasted pumpkin.
Like that smell of Halloween is a candle inside a pumpkin.
It's a burning pumpkin as is.
Which is a good smell.
That is a nice smell.
Thank you.
I take it back.
Yeah.
It'd be fun to watch it because it would start like getting, like go all, you know, the face
on it would get all old.
Uh-huh. watch it because it would start like getting like go all you know the face on it would get all old like the guy who drinks from the wrong cup and uh raiders of the lost ark oh yeah
no wrong one raiders of the lost ark no no holy grail whichever yeah i'm trying to reference an
indiana jones movie and i don't know what they're called king of the crystals of gold
the guy whose face melts in the Raiders of the Lost Ark?
He picks the wrong cup.
Oh, yeah, because they're looking for the...
Oh, right.
It's the funniest scene ever.
He just turns into a skeleton in about 30 seconds.
And the old guy who's like a thousand years old and has been living there just goes,
He chose poorly.
In the Sean Connery one.
Yeah.
Indiana Jones and the daddy-daughter, bring your dad to work day.
Yeah.
And then it's the actual, it's just a mug that has the crucifixion on it.
It's like a coffee mug is the right one, right?
Well, it's the humblest cup because Jesus was, you know, he was just a humble carpenter.
Oh, yeah, because this guy he
picked the jewel encrusted one yeah the bedazzled one jesus was a part-time bedazzler what was the
name of that indian crazy last crusade yeah indiana jones the last crusade that's the one
we're talking about okay uh because there's the raiders of the Lost Ark And Temple of Doom
King of the Crystal Skull
That's not canon
I got it confused because those guys face melt
Their faces melt
That's right
It's a pretty good trilogy for face melting
Yeah
Do any faces melt in the second one?
It's because the Ark is like
Where God lives right?
So when they open it, the
power comes out or something.
It just melts everything. I bet
that since there's like a vaguely
religious message,
I bet those church
coffee houses, like, after a
couple people get up and
sing for 15 minutes,
they're like, alright, we're gonna watch Indiana Jones.
Yeah, I feel like that. You you're right that would fit in the it'd be like that and like maybe some uh movie about a dog there'd be some kind of dog movie air bud no like pre-air bud but post
you know old yeller like a benji turner and hooch oh i love turner favorite tom hanks movie
favorite tom hanks movie oh that's a hard question oh well forrest gump obviously oh really
obviously tom hanks yeah huh i don't know that i would say tom or uh there's other ones that
are close but forrest gump. My default, yeah.
Well, you?
Anybody claim Turner?
Has anyone picked Sully yet?
How many times have you seen Sully?
Is that the one where he's the captain?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, I know.
It's Captain Phillips.
Yeah.
Oh, Captain Phillips is good.
I pick Captain Phillips.
Oh, I pick Captain Ron. No, he's not in there. Okay, I pick Captain Phillips. Yeah. Oh, Captain Phillips is good. I pick Captain Phillips. Oh, I pick Captain Ron.
No, he's not in there.
Okay, I pick Overboard.
Polar Express?
Oh, yeah.
But my real favorite Tom Hanks movie, No Goofing, That Thing You Do.
Oh, yeah, of course.
Good call.
He direct that?
And right.
Cool.
Yeah.
It's weird when an actor directs something and it's actually something that you're like,
yeah, hey, I like it.
No, you want Saving Private Ryan now, don't you?
No, Cast Away.
Oh, yeah.
What about Cast Away?
I don't know.
Does it beat Forrest Gump in your eyes?
Yeah.
It might, actually.
What about Jovers of the Volcano?
Yeah, have you ever seen that?
I didn't get through it, to be honest.
Ah.
I remember the time I watched it, I didn't watch the whole thing.
I was bored.
What about the newest Da Vinci Code?
I thought we just meant, like, besides the Da Vinci Code movies.
Yeah, that's what I understood.
Because they're also about a holy grail.
Yeah, everybody's face gets melted off in that.
It is a pretty good way to tie up a film.
You're like, ah, and then whatever they were looking for just melts their face.
Yeah.
Yeah, it was that important.
It was the Maltese Falcon.
Yeah.
Dave, what's going on with you, man?
Guys, I've been watching this show every morning with
my daughter okay called tayo okay what's tayo tayo is a korean bus okay drives around korea
uh-huh is this an animated show it's an animated show okay and um it's uh it starts off pretty normal.
Like it's teaching kids lessons about like what to do if you get lost.
And like, you know.
Let an old man take you to work.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
Helping, you know, helping others and what to do if people draw graffiti on you.
On you. Is it like a personified bus like yeah yeah the buses
all talk to each other and so does you know the there's a cleaning car rubby and so wait
he's an alcoholic uh is this uh like thomas the tank engine like a lot of communication i don't
know thomas i do not well it's a bunch of communication? I don't know Thomas the Tank Engine.
Stop!
You do too! No, I do not!
Well, it's a bunch of trains that all talk to each other.
Okay, this is Tayo.
They're buses.
They're Korean buses.
But is it mostly the buses talking to each other, or is it the bus talking to the kids that are inside of the bus?
No, the buses are talking to each other.
There's some stuff going on inside the buses sometimes, and it's weird.
Yeah, when the bus says, get in me, kids.
Get inside.
I want to feel you inside.
It's weird when there's turmoil in the buses, feeling of people being rough inside the bus.
It's strange.
I'm going to have human diarrhea.
Yeah, you can either get out the front or the back.
So, yeah.
So it's, yeah, teaching normal lessons.
Some lessons are less normal.
Like, here's what to do if a helicopter is a snob to you.
Turns out it can't hear you very well because of the propellers.
Oh, sure.
That's a lesson we can all take home.
Yeah, and it didn't...
Oh, there's this one guy, Rogi.
Rogi?
Yeah, Rogi's the green bus, and nobody likes him because he's a bad singer.
This does sound mostly like a pitch where you showed up to the pitch without an idea.
And I'm looking around the room.
Yeah, but no, you took a bus there.
Oh, boy.
But then it goes crazy.
Okay.
In the last few episodes that are on Netflix, the buses go to space.
Okay, sure.
There's one episode where the buses, there's an actual working shrink ray. Oh, sure. There's one episode where the bus is, there's an actual working shrink ray.
Oh, wow.
Okay, so this now is just fantastic.
Yeah, and there's dream sequences and a lot of stuff.
Oh, it didn't happen that way.
It was a dream.
Ah, the helicopter was friendly.
Well, no, the helicopter is.
He's got a lot of turmoil because everyone still thinks he's a snob.
But in the end, he helps.
There's some really, like, vivid fire sequences.
It's not great for kids.
It's pretty scary.
Because, like, the fires that are burning the building, surely they were also talking buildings.
Let's kill someone.
Oh, no.
Franklin's on fire.
Let's kill someone.
Oh, no.
Franklin's on fire.
But the weirdest one, the weirdest episode is this guy, Rogi.
Yeah.
He's the annoying bus no one likes.
Bad singer.
He's been collecting junk, it turns out.
Inside of himself?
No, just in his, like, garage. Okay. And and everyone's like what do you have all that junk for and he's like i have a mantle bro is that what he teaches them well
is he a hoarder yeah it no he thinks it's treasure but it's it's junk classic order and then he's got all these cat skeletons not really um but then he
he's driving along one day and he sees this like rv that's got junk hanging off of it
and he thinks it's the coolest that is teaching your kid a weird lesson and um he says like wow he's so cool and he befriends this
it's like i think it might be i don't think it's rasta but it's like the rv is like a it's from
the island okay all right and it's uh i guess the lesson of that one is like don't hippies are the
worst don't befriend hippies because they're just going to hang junk off themselves. But he did.
He befriended him and it was fine.
I assume it was fine.
Did this one accept him for his singing?
No, I mean.
Yeah, it doesn't.
Yeah.
That didn't come up.
Is Rogi also self-harming?
No, Rogi's fine.
Rogi's just obnoxious.
I think when he grows up,
he's,
you see all these buses
are very young.
Oh God.
But yeah,
that's,
for such a weird show,
the weirdest one
for me.
the Archie comics,
like,
we have Riverdale,
but they've reimagined
it with buses.
Yeah,
pretty much.
It's like, and the Jughead bus, everyone's like, well, why doesn't he eat burgers?
How is it Jughead then?
It's, yeah, he probably eats wraps or something.
Jughead?
Yeah.
No, he doesn't eat anything.
Have you not watched it yet?
No, no, no.
It's on Netflix.
I've been watching this show about these uh submarines that are
friends and they teach each other oh is it like thomas the tank engine so the thing with thomas
the tank engine is they were all uh adults i guess the trains weren't kids although were they
i never considered their age before well because like some of them didn't like one of them have
like a mustache or like they i feel like there was like an old guy train what there was thomas the tank engine
like how when did it come out were we children when it came out i think it's not isn't it yeah
like it was it used to be i'm looking thomas up i think like the version that we had that had like george carlin as the train master it was
it was george carlin was it and then it was ringo star yeah and they were like i don't know what
they were they weren't uh he was just the narrator yeah but he like dressed in like he had like a
costume that he was like a train what do you mean like the real guy yeah yeah
yeah there's like live action oh i don't know about this yeah there would be this like interstitial
stuff and i think the thomas the tank engine was british and then the interstitial stuff was
american to kind of like american up the show about that with uh with george carlin george carlin was the narrator i think he was the first
one and then ringer star took over and like they would just kind of like and george carlin would
be like why are they saying you're gonna get on the train you're gonna get in the train
do you know that apparently this is like a real story that george carlin was watching sc tv
and rick moranis used to do an impression of george carlin and he would do that whole like
why do you park on the yeah and it really hurt george carlin's feelings like he was like
is that what people think i did uh yeah apparently he thought he was really upset it's sort of like
yeah what other comedians are there that like jerry seinfeld everyone will say what's the deal
like what the airplane peanut uh you know steve martin i guess was wild and crazy guy but like
what but that's not something you could make oh like sort
of make fun of um like i can't think of any well when people were making fun of dane cook it was a
lot of oh yeah just jumping around and making the nonsensical statements that's true um anyway you
know thomas the tank engine has been around since 1946 in different iterations.
Yeah, it was weird.
It was weird that I missed it.
And when I was watching it, I was too old for it.
I know that.
Okay.
Because it was on television.
So I would watch anything.
I would watch Thomas the Tank Engine.
I would watch Zubily Zoo.
Sure.
I would watch.
Zubily Zoo was our era.
Yeah, but even when I was watching. You're thinking of Zubuma Fu.
I would also watch Zubuma Fu.
I feel like that Zubly Zoo would be the weirdest.
I'm just trying to think from my childhood what would be a show that would be hard for my parents to watch.
Oh, yeah.
Like, what from your childhood would your parents be like, I'm not going to stick around and watch this with you.
I remember watching Mr. Dress Up and Sesame Street. Those are like the shows i watched oh fred penner yeah yeah yeah that's just
like a a hippie who crawls through a log and those aren't yeah they're not like obnoxious
yeah they are pretty like you were you were probably an all right kid i guess i i think
i hope so and then and then after me like like, there was, you know, kids, the next.
Generation.
Crop.
Yeah.
Would watch, what's that terrible one?
Teletubbies?
Oh, yeah.
That I think that would probably be pretty annoying.
Yeah, Barney was the one that ever, like, after me.
Kids I would babysit for would watch Teletubbies.
Yeah, when I was in my prime babysitting years it was barney kids went crazy for that
and it was it was just like this is some some psychologist somewhere designed this just to be
like repetitive and because they would only do this like two things per episode there was no
great storylines of like i'm collecting junk it would literally be like i'm
uh so i'm supposed to brush my teeth and that would be the whole plot point
you know what barney i had a friend who watched that and i remember thinking like
oh no no that's kind of babyish one of the songs like i was at her house she was watching barney
and it was all about and when you brush your teeth you turn the taps off like the whole thing oh boy i'm not letting the water keep
running and that would be the whole episode it wasn't uh weird yeah but even then uh like
i don't know now there's just so many kids shows like oh yeah there was a time when there was
probably like seven kids shows and
even before that zero kids shows there you know like when my parents like maybe like howdy doody
oh yeah oh yeah what kind of kids shows you know like what they wouldn't have been or whatever
huh yeah absolutely my parents were reared on taxi.
Now, Jenny, what would Tony Danza do?
What did parents do?
Turn the tap water off.
What did parents do before TV?
Radio.
But like, kids go listen to the radio?
Yeah, they'd listen to, there was like, what were the big shows?
There's Little Orphan Annie.
Barney.
Little Orphan Barney.
Where was the take-in? Radio Tubbies.
Audio Tubbies.
What's Tele...
Radio Tubbies.
Oh, that would be so hard to listen to.
What are they doing?
Ah-hoo.
Or whatever.
Radio Tubbies. Tele Tubbies was the one where the sun was a baby creepy baby's face like giggling
i mean it was actually the baby itself wasn't creepy it was just kind of funny that you look
up in the sky and the sun is a baby yeah i feel like weird giggle when i've been on like reading
you know reading an article there will be a you know the sidebar ads that on like reading, you know, reading an article, there will be a, you know, the sidebar ads that are like, you know, you won't believe what these celebrities look like now.
I feel like one of them was check out what the baby from Teletubbies is doing now.
I hate those ads when it's someone who hasn't been out of like someone from not that long ago who has regularly worked since.
Check out what the woman from Precious looks like now.
Oh, you mean the woman who's in like five TV shows currently?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And she looks the same.
Yeah.
Did you see that thing about the guy who was the baby on the cover of Nevermind and how he recreated the photo?
Oh, no.
Of himself in a swimming pool. Naked? But it's like he's wearing clothes and he isn'treated the photo oh no of himself in a swimming pool naked but it's like
he's wearing clothes and he isn't grabbing the dollar bill so it's really not the same at all
yeah it's like yeah did you just fall in a pool and somebody's like i'll take it he's 25 now and
he thought it'd be like a cool thing to do he has never mind tattooed here oh really yeah i'd like
to see that baby from teletubbies recreate that oh yeah he's got
a teletubby tattooed on his neck uh well because there were some uh famous like kids that would
have been like that like famous for that one single thing oh a copper tone baby or yeah
there was more than salt or Remember the little girl from the...
She dressed like a bee.
Oh, yeah.
Blind melon video.
Uh-huh.
Does she still dress like a bee?
I hope so.
Jeremy from Jeremy.
You know, where's that kid?
Well, I guess that story didn't end well.
Well, it was just...
But he's probably didn't like...
It's not like one of these things, like,
and that kid was Ryan Gosling.
Oh, sure.
Like, he's just some guy who was in, like,
one of the most popular videos.
Yeah.
But that's kind of cool.
I guess.
But, like, yeah.
I don't know if the casting...
Casting a music video in 1991 was probably...
Like, you didn't have any lines.
Yeah, yeah.
But it's still, like super super famous i wouldn't
remember his face if i was if you showed me a bunch of uh you know him yeah jonathan taylor
thomas you know jonathan brandis and other people with that haircut in 1991 i wouldn't have
who's jonathan brandis he was on sea quest oh yeah yeah isn't
he dead i think he's dead yes i think i read in one of those sidebar articles
yeah so he's not with us anymore um what's going on with you i just found out jonathan brandis died
speaking of kurt of uh nirvana uh kurt cobain would have been 50 a few days ago yeah yeah if the brand has died. Speaking of Nirvana,
Kurt Cobain would have been 50 a few days ago.
Yeah, yeah.
And Hugh Jackman's only 48.
Makes you think, right?
I met Hugh Jackman once.
What?
Yeah.
Where?
At the airport in Vancouver.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
How'd that work out?
Oh, I was sitting there with my brother and his wife and her friend who was flying home to England.
Actually, and my friend was there, too, Jenna, the one that I chauffeured to prom.
Oh, okay. Because we were all going to a jewel concert afterwards.
When was this?
This was last week.
I was in grade 11.
Okay, okay. when was this this was last week i was in grade 11 okay okay my sister-in-law's friend just says very nonchalantly she's like oh there goes hugh jackman and this was right when x-men the x-men
movies were coming out and i was very infatuated with wolverine okay so i was like what and i was
like oh like i thought she was kidding i was like, yeah, he totally does look like Hugh Jackman.
He's four foot one.
It is.
And I was like, is it?
And she's like, I don't know.
Call out his name.
So I'm like, Hugh.
That's pretty, that's pretty terrible. And did he turn around?
No, of course not.
Why not?
Would you?
Oh, he must be like that helicopter.
He thinks he's too good for everyone.
Shook his hand.
You went and shook his hand?
And was he like, nerdy thanks for uh sticking
by me through all the future horrible wolverine movies that i will make he was very pleasant but
you know i wouldn't go back and do that again well i think you would what are your favorite
hugh jackman movies everybody uh what's the one where prestige that's mine uh is the one where... Prestige, that's mine. Is there one where he plays a guy from old times that comes to the future?
Yes, Kate and Leopold.
Kate and Leopold, that's my favorite.
Yours?
Oh.
Was he in...
X-Men movies.
He was in Les Miserables, which was pretty good.
Yeah.
Was he in some...
Oh, Real Steel.
I changed my answer.
Yeah, you're right.
It is Real Steel. What's my answer. Yeah, you're right. It is Real Steel.
What's going on with you, Graham?
Wait, do you think this new Wolverine movie is going to be good?
This one actually looks good.
It looks good, but I feel like they're lying to us.
I haven't really watched...
I didn't follow the X-Men franchise.
Okay, you're out of
the okay this was a different time but i saw that trailer and i was like oh that actually looks good
all right i'll probably i'll probably either go see it in the theater or i'll never see it
yeah yeah how was the jewel concert it was p.s so good was, yeah, this would have been around her poetry book era or post that?
I think it was around that time.
Nice.
Yeah.
Jewel, it would just be a lot of sitting on a stool playing guitar, right?
Stool and guitar, fully acoustic set.
You know, she lived in a car at one point.
She did.
Oh, I know.
I've read her autobiography.
What was the venue?
Down the Don.
The Don, of course, happens after a night without armor.
What venue was this?
Queen Elizabeth Theater.
Oh, that's a good venue.
Yeah.
I was trying to picture it in an arena.
In an arena, yeah.
Which, I guess,
at the peak,
I don't know.
What is going on with me?
And further,
follow-up question.
Yes.
Who will save your soul?
Hugh Jackman, I hope.
I think this new
Wolverine movie's gonna stink.
I think everybody,
and it's like,
the early reviews
are saying it's good, and I'm like
those early reviews are always wrong.
I just never read movie reviews.
Really? That's all I do. No, I don't
do it. I'm not really excited about Ghostbusters,
so I purposely didn't read any reviews.
And? And I loved it. Well, there you go.
So you've got a system that works.
I just read the reviews and don't see the movies.
No, your system works better.
I heard it was bad.
Yeah, I can't remember what I was going to talk about.
I've still not settled into my new place.
Still mostly things in boxes.
What do you need?
Need plates?
No, I got plates.
What do you need?
I got my parents came into town on the weekend.
They met both of your daughters and only met Margo before when she was still in arms.
And now...
In arms?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, I know what you mean.
When she was a handheld.
Yeah, handheld.
She's a pocket baby.
Yeah.
When she was a shuffle. Yeah. When she was a handheld. Yeah, handheld. She was a pocket baby. Yeah. When she was a shuffle.
Yeah.
When she was a baby nano.
When she was a Tamagotchi.
Ten more.
But they came over on their way to Victoria,
and so they brought me a bunch of stuff.
Some stuff that I needed, they brought me a toaster.
Some stuff I think my mom was just trying to get rid of from her house.
I was like, well, I don't need several rolls of painter's tape as far as I know.
The place has been painted.
But like the one thing about this new place that I'm not complaining.
I'm not complaining, but i don't know how to fix
this problem is it's really uh it's hot oh because there's uh like baseboard heaters but then there's
also furnace and so i can't i can't seem to strike the right it's do you like a real hot place yeah
it went if i wake up in the morning and it's like I feel like I've been
in a tomb
okay
oh cool
like I feel
it's just like
so dry
dry is bad
huh
sorry
dry is bad
you want wet hot
yeah yeah
you want wet hot
I want to live
in like a terrarium
I want to live
in a terrarium when you said wet hot i was like soup i want to live in a chowder yeah cream mushroom
soup uh so i i've like i've been trying experimenting with like covering over the
vents that didn't go well uh because i covered over the vent and then as soon as the wind starts coming out of it,
just blew it right off.
Oh.
So, uh, so I'm still fine tuning.
I don't want to.
Turn off the baseboard heaters.
I've done that.
Then it gets too cold.
Oh, well then.
Okay.
You didn't mention that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
See, I'm having trouble.
It's also this time of year.
It is.
I'm having trouble, uh, regulating, uh uh because it felt like the winter was over and
now it feels like the winter's coming back yeah and i'm also just getting used to you know like
you get used to certain sounds that are just like yeah yeah yeah the fog horn Boghorn. Boghorn. No, the acorn. I'll say it. But there's also...
Any more voices you'd like me to do?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, ooh, ooh.
Do any of the talking buses.
What?
Rogi, why don't all of us go sing at the talent show with you?
Why are these buses going to a talent show?
Why does it matter if buzzers have bad singing voices if not to showcase their talent?
Oh, boy.
I always wondered in a cartoon universe where everything is alive.
A cartoon universe.
Yeah, thank you.
Where everything is alive, what the hierarchy the hierarchy like is it still the same
hierarchy that we like are alive flowers lower on the totem pole than like the walking frog
oh you know what i mean like or do they all have their are they all equal in oh sure do they all
get a vote yeah yeah how does the democracy work in these places? I don't know.
Do trees and bees and fleas all get votes?
Anyways, so I can't get the heat right.
That's one.
My parents offloaded a lot of stuff they didn't want.
What's the, did you mention what they offloaded that you didn't like?
Some painters tape.
A lot of painters tape.
Like about six things that you put in a wine bottle.
Corks?
Fancier.
Like a fancy.
Stoppers?
Yeah, stopper.
Like so you can reuse, so you don't drink all the wine at once?
Yeah.
How much wine do you drink in a year?
Zero.
Zero percent ever.
I don't ever drink wine.
Red wine gives me like instant headaches. Zero percent ever. I don't ever drink wine. Red wine gives me instant headaches.
And white wine, I don't know.
It feels like it's a weird...
Do you like wine?
Yeah.
Yeah?
I drink a lot of wine.
Red and white?
Yeah, I used to be mostly red.
Blue is sort of just for when I'm when i'm getting my freak on
used to mostly be red red yeah and then i started i had i had some uh glasses of white
some people bought me some like for my birthday and i was like you know
yeah yeah this is great you're just gonna let it let it go with this yeah a bit now i'm back to
the red i don't uh something about white wine i
feel like it's a thing that goes like if you're eating a food like it doesn't feel like you sit
down unless you also have a white couch and are wearing a white turtleneck uh-huh oh yeah and
pashmina after pashmina um i yeah no i i i don't mind red wine i put white wine i feels it feels it's like white
grape juice it's like this is too sweet yeah yeah it doesn't i don't know but anyway wine
hangovers are worse because of this maybe because of the sweetness okay maybe champagne i've it
doesn't take a much champagne to give me a headache in the morning.
No.
I mean, and it's too bad that you celebrate every night as New Year's to you.
No.
Well, that's fine.
And I dress up as a boat and people always smash champagne over my face.
Is it mostly your face is where the boat costume is?
Well, that's how it ends up in my mouth.
But like, oh no, I put, my face looks like the butt of the boat.
The boat's pooper.
And then people just like walking down the street, I get three or four champagne bottles a night.
I saw a weird video of how they like put a tugboat in the water after they've built it
funnily never thought of that ever in my life is how do they get a boat in the water i uh my hand
yeah i here um i've never thought about it and i've never wanted to watch a video on it
and i don't care do you ever think like if you were abducted by an alien species and they just asked you all sorts of questions, you'd be like, I don't know.
Yeah.
How does a dry cleaning work?
Fucked if I know.
How do you reupholster a car?
Done it.
Still don't know.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know. But, you know, but you know sometimes i watch what's the plot
of pinocchio i should know but watching watching it i was just like oh wow why did i never ever
consider this before i mean and obviously i don't spend a lot of time in the maritimes
i don't spend a lot of time around boats so I don't feel like I should know anything about boats.
But do you have an idea of how they get a boat in the water?
You're a landlubber is what you're saying. Oh, absolutely.
How do they get a boat in the water?
Landlubber, city slicker.
I guess they slide it.
They slide it on logs.
Wheels?
Yeah.
Oh, when you take a boat to the lake, say you're a person that has a speedboat. You've got one of those trailers with wheels.
Yeah, they pull it behind a port-a-cotter.
That's kind of what I thought.
Trailers with wheels?
It's more like they kind of just tip it in.
And because it's shaped, it just writes itself.
But they kind of tip it in almost upside down.
And it just writes itself in the water.
Which I thought, I thought it was like what you guys said.
They had some kind of giant trailer. Wait, you're saying that's actually what they do? That's actually what they do. itself in the water, which I thought, I thought it was like what you guys said.
They had some kind of giant trailer.
Wait, you're saying that's actually what they do? That's actually what they do.
But how do they get it to the water?
How does it happen so that no water gets into the boat?
Well, no, it's like, these are like giant tugboats.
So they've got coverings or whatever.
Oh, I see.
You know what I mean?
Like they're not, it's not, it's not a giant canoe.
Ask a stupid question. That know what I mean? Like, they're not, it's not, it's not a giant canoe. Ask a stupid question.
That's what I was imagining.
So, yeah, so I got a bite.
So, by the way, if an alien abducts me tonight, what am I going to say?
Oh, they just, they tip it in.
Yeah, and then they'll be like, your buses, do they talk?
Like, well, some do. Depends on the country you're in. Here. And then they'll be like, your buses, do they talk? I'm like, well, some do.
Yeah.
Depends on the country you're in.
Here in Korea, they talk.
Funny little bus.
Who's the cutest of the buses?
Tayo.
Oh, yeah, Tayo.
Yeah, so I got to unpack stuff.
Because now I'm just living in a storage locker, basically.
You should do that. Yeah, haven't had any time no time do you need like a waffle maker maybe
do you have a huh sorry you need a rice cooker you need one i have one and i'm moving soon too
and i want to get rid of stuff oh yeah i don't think i don't eat enough rice yeah me either
yeah uh you should do what dave did uh try and make a
what is it giant pancake yeah i saw on buzzfeed once you can make uh like a thick pancake in a
rice cooker you also break a rice cooker so maybe you can do that before you move yeah
oh boy uh do we want to move on to a bit of business? Sure. Life can be fun.
Don't get carried away.
You got to do the things you don't want to do to get through the day.
You got to shine your shoes.
You got to sweep the floor.
You got to clean your house.
You got to do some more.
Take care of business.
Stop Podcasting Yourself is supported in part by Casper.
And Casper supports you in your sleep with your bed bones.
If you have your tidal bones on the bed.
Your bed bones.
Your bed bones.
Bed bones and beyond.
Don't let the bed bones bite.
Casper is an online retailer of premium mattresses for a fraction of the price of a different mattress.
And he sent us one of these Casper mattresses.
It comes in the box the size of a mini fridge.
Yeah, like a small fridge.
Like a little filing cabinet.
Like a little bar fridge.
And you open it up and it flumps.
Yeah, it flumps.
It flumps. It slices, it dices. Yeah, it flumps. It flumps.
It slices, it dices.
Yeah.
And then you just
take your weary old bones.
Oh boy, those bones
are yours, your bed bones.
I've been dragging
them around all day.
Put your bed bones
on the bed.
And then just,
whew.
And then it's oof.
So nice.
Oop-a-doop.
For Casper.
Casper mattresses
feature supportive memory foam
for a sleep surface that's got just the right sink
and just the right bounce.
And these are made in America.
And that's important.
Yeah.
He's employing people.
You're employing Americans.
Yeah.
So that they can spend their hard-earned money at Chipotle.
Yeah.
They can put it back in the economy.
Trickle up, guys.
And this is a, you can get one of these.
Do a risk-free trial.
Sleep on the left side.
Sleep diagonal-wise.
Sit up in it.
Eat some noodles in it.
Yeah, sure.
Just like, just bring a bag of bones in there.
Yeah.
Some elephant man bones. Yeah. Or you could sage of bones in there. Yeah. Some elephant man bones.
Yeah.
Or you could sage your room in it.
Yeah.
These are great ideas.
These are great things to do.
And you don't just get it for a day or two.
You get it for 100 days.
That's almost a third of a year.
Goodness gracious.
With free delivery to the U.S. and Canada and painless returns.
You can return it 99 days later.
I got 99 days and this mattress ain't one oh it was close
were you um and we have a special offer to listeners of stop podcasting yourself which
is the name of this show you can get 50 toward any mattress purchase by visiting www.casper.com slash SPY and using the promo code SPY
at checkout. Terms and conditions
apply.
My name is Patrick.
My name is Parker.
MaxFunCon has been a huge
inspiration in my life.
Now I have this network of friends
that I've made that span literally across
the entire globe and they're some of
my favorite people in the world. I truly cannot believe the amount of wonderful and lasting
friendships that have come out of this. If you feel like you might not fit in, as long as you're
a good person, you'll fit in because everyone there is good and amazing and kind and wonderful
and you should absolutely go. It will be the best decision of your life.
Make a ton of new friends like Parker and Patrick at MaxFunCon.
Tickets for MaxFunCon and MaxFunCon East are on sale now at MaxFunCon.com.
Overheard. Overheard.
Overheards.
A segment in which we hear things out there in the world.
You know, people don't even know sometimes that they're talking so loud or that they're talking at all.
And then you hear them and then you share and we laugh and we always like to start with the guest.
Okay.
And that's you, Jenny.
It's me.
to start with the guest okay and that's you jenny it's me so i was working once uh i was gardening and i about a half a block away i see this man walking in my direction with his small boy like
maybe four years old right and as they get closer i hear the dad say yeah i, but you can't hug every tree. Aww.
It was so cute.
Oh, man.
Yeah, I understand.
I really like that you have this instant affection for that kid. Yeah, and I love trees, too.
So I was like, oh, did I have a kid and not know about it?
That's so dear.
Yeah, what's that kid's mother's take on it?
Yeah. You know, like, hug more trees. Yeah, what's that kid's mother's take on it?
Yeah.
You know.
Like, hug more trees.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Just hug all the trees. I like it because the dad was supportive.
Yeah.
He's like, I understand.
Mm-hmm.
But in this life.
But at the same time, we got to get somewhere.
Like, you can't hug every tree.
What's your favorite kind of tree?
Real quick.
Begonia.
A katsura.
A katsura? Mm-hmm. Oh, oh boy is that with a k yep what is uh
japanese yeah all right yeah i could tell you i was just about to tell you the latin name and i
thought i've i've do it like a loser enough no no latinus circidifilum japonica did you study
this in school i I've taken some.
No, well, post-school.
I've learned some things about trees and stuff.
But anyway, it smells very delicious in the fall.
Okay.
It has heart-shaped leaves, so that's cute.
Yeah.
And then in the fall, the leaves turn from this gold.
They turn from a blue-green to a bright yellow-golden.
And then they smell like marshmallows.
Really?
Like toasting a marshmallow over the fire.
Wow.
It's wild.
Wow, I can see why that's...
And I never knew about it until I heard it.
And now I always smell them when I walk in.
Do you want to see a picture of a Katsura?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It looks like...
Dave!
That's the man with two penises Dave showed me.
I still have that picture on my phone, too.
It's been a while since I've seen it, though.
We used to text it to each other a lot.
Yeah, yeah.
There's this guy that has two penises.
Is it real?
Yeah, yeah.
What's your favorite kind of tree?
Ah, Christmas trees.
Christmas trees, too.
Save them.
Put them on your fire.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Dave, do you have one over here i do mine is a um it was an ad let me just get this off my phone um it was a billboard for uh like a church
oh yes i got a kind of church that has a billboard cool and it had a quote from the bible it said
for god so loved the world that he gave his
one and only son that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life
and then it was attributed to john 3 16 and then in parentheses the bible
oh yeah yeah um and that's like not advertising a specific church.
It's just like church.
Oh, that was for a specific church.
Oh, okay.
Like come find out more.
Yeah.
Wow.
Come find out why everyone has this Bible verse at sporting events.
Yeah, right.
Oh, yeah.
That was a sign.
So it was advertising a specific church.
Yeah.
Because I've, well, maybe it's because I'm from Abbotsford, but I'll see billboards on the highway that just have that only.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Right.
But then they don't have a, like, you know, ulterior motive of like, and then come to our young adults group from 11 to 3.
Yeah, jam out with us.
We got a whole thing of tambourines.
Tambourines are from 1 to 145
Oh boy
And then it's the clarinet hour
Followed by 15 minutes
Of fellowship
That was my favorite part
Fellowship
Coffee and cookies
Oh sure
What was it called? Fireside area?
What did they call it when you had to shake hands with the people around you?
Passing the peace?
Passing the peace.
Oh, I've never heard that.
Also with you.
Yeah, yeah.
Good morning.
Good morning.
Yeah.
That was my least favorite part.
Shaking hands?
Mm-hmm.
I wonder if they do, like, in a cool church, probably fist bumps.
Yeah, dabs.
Yeah.
Dabs?
Everybody get up and do a dab.
A fist bump is a dab, right?
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, that's what I meant.
This is where I'm at.
Oh, boy.
Graham?
My overheard is, this is going way back to when we were in Chicago.
We were standing in line to get into a bar.
We were?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
And this group of guys, I think they were at the tail end of deciding where they were going to get something to eat.
And I think they were taking votes from everybody in the party.
That's the vibe I got from it.
I only caught this part of the sentences.
They were just walking by.
And the one guy just confessed.
He was like, with my fat ass, it's probably going to be Burger King.
So he was just admitting like, well.
You like what you like.
Yeah, absolutely.
Burger King.
Square burgers?
No.
That's Wendy's.
What does Burger King have that's a famous, I guess, crowns?
The Whopper?
Yeah.
What does the Whopper have that's special?
Sauce?
I don't remember.
It's been a long time.
The Whopper has, they can do, they can have it your way.
Oh, that's right.
You can pick your toppings.
And they also do,
do they do a Big King, which is their version
of the Big Mac? Oh, I don't know.
I remember when I was a kid,
you would,
like, they'd give you the Burger
King Kids Club thing, and you're like,
who are these characters? Yeah, there's
wheels. There was a kid in a wheelchair,
guy who wore, like, goggles of some sort.
Gizmo.
And then, and the rest.
They, what is, you know you can't copyright food?
What?
So anyone can make a Big Mac?
I mean.
In fact, the Big Mac's still.
Yeah.
I guess it's not, it's just a hamburger with an extra wedge of bread in the middle.
Is that what a Big Mac is?
And cheese and the Thousand Island dressing.
Right.
Yeah.
Thousand Island.
I've eaten like two Big Macs in my whole life.
Is that right?
Yeah.
How come?
Because they have chicken nuggets.
Oh, I see.
Yeah.
That's true.
Yeah.
I mean, she's not wrong.
And I know that it's 100% organic, free-range chicken. Yeah. I mean, she's not wrong. And I know that it's 100% like organic, you know, free range chicken.
Yeah.
So I like to, you know, I vote with how I.
Yeah, you vote with your dollar.
Yeah.
What's your favorite Chicken McNugget shape?
Because aren't there like only four shapes?
The boot.
The boot?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Best for dipping, I suppose.
Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What's your, like, what do you get?
What are the denominations?
Because when I was a kid, it was three, six, and then I think it jumped to 20.
Yeah.
There's 10.
There's 10 now.
There's 10 now?
That's a good amount.
I remember, I think there was six, nine, or 20.
Right.
Yeah.
And now there's six, 10.
What?
Is four gone as an option?
It's a fore gone conclusion, guys.
Why waste your time?
But as a child, the Happy Meal that came with nuggets would have four, I think.
Yeah, but like 10, I mean, that seems like by the 10th, you're like, ooh.
By the 10th, you're like, oh.
Too many nuggets.
I can't believe these are over already.
When I was a kid, I would do 20.
Really?
Yeah, and I would peel them off.
Like I would do different ones with different things.
Wow.
Do you mix dips?
No.
Oh, God.
I was like, you idiot.
You obviously do.
Yeah.
Do you dip one, you dip it into one, then dip it into the other?
Well, I mean, I don't mix dips, but I like to have different dips.
Sure.
Maybe this bite I'm going to have sweet and sour.
Maybe this bite I'm going to have McChicken sauce.
You, what?
Maybe this one I'm going to have in the mustard.
Is McChicken sauce just mayonnaise, what? This one, I'm having the mustard. Is McChicken sauce just mayonnaise?
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
Oh, boy.
I didn't know there was so much fun to be had.
I'm more of a Burger King wheels and friends.
Wheelie and pals.
Now, we also have.
Why can't any restaurant do nuggets as well?
Wendy's are actually not bad.
Okay.
do nuggets as well.
Wendy's are actually not bad.
Okay.
Now, we also have overheard sent in to us from people around
the world. If you want to send one in to us, you can
send it in to spy at maximum
fun dot org.
This first one comes from Courtney W.
All the way
from Brooklyn, New York.
Overheard while out sledding last week in Massachusetts.
My two sons, age 12 and 7, and a 6-year-old friend were pulling sleds up a long hill.
My 7-year-old says to the other two, let's go big or go home.
Oh, cool.
I'm going to go home.
Yeah. Well, eventually I'm'm gonna go home because it's
cold out here yeah yeah yeah in the meantime we can go big but eventually i'm gonna go to
graham's house where it's a furnace yeah oh boy sometimes my head is too hot my feet are cold
oh boy okay well that is just you need to go to a hospital. This next one comes from Dan in Boston, Massachusetts.
So I was in line for Chinese food and a customer walked up and tried to get a refund on food that he had bought the day before.
That's not right.
No.
He walked in, said he ordered this food yesterday and it was wrong so he wanted a
refund today oh the laziness of it oh well i'll i'll take care of it tomorrow i mean i have had
that i very recently where you got wrong food i yeah i wanted steamed rice two wrong food thanks
for everything yeah okay that's fine let's move on uh i also remember once oh this is gonna be gross
can we stop should i stop no no no go ahead when i one time in college i got chinese food like
ordered it in yeah into my dorm which was a rarity yeah And my roommate said something really mean to me.
Oh.
He said, I heard about this Chinese restaurant once.
And they had like 16, they did tests on it. And they found 16 kinds of animal cum in the food.
Oh, no.
Animal cum.
Yeah.
What a specific thing to say.
And I was like, 16 kinds of animal.
And it really ruined my appetite.
And then later I was like, that would be the trouble you would have to go to to get it.
And like, it would be more expensive than the food.
Like, people pay for bull and horse.
And Dave.
And Dave.
There was a, what is it?
Maybe an episode of This American Life where they,
somebody suspected that the calamari, calamari?
Was fish butthole?
No, pig butthole. Pig butthole?
Oh, shut up.
Like fish don't have buttholes.
No, but you'd have to get such a big fish.
Yeah.
Shark. Shark butthole. Don't throw out that butthole. I, but you'd have to get such a big thing. Yeah. Shark.
Shark buttholes.
Don't throw out that
butthole.
I have a plan for it.
God has a plan for all
of our buttholes.
Oh, yeah.
I saw that on a
billboard.
God has a plan for
your butthole.
Oh, boy.
You look like Uncle
Sam.
Yeah.
Just a hand coming
up from a cloud.
All right.
This last one comes from Zach from Birmingham, Alabama.
Howdy.
I was sitting outside of the fitting rooms at the department store Kohl's waiting for my wife to try on clothes.
There was a guy and his four or five- five year old son sitting in the same area waiting for
someone in the fitting room as well the kid was dressed in a police officer's halloween costume
this was january and was asking his dad a million questions about dogs the dad eventually pulled his
phone out and started showing the kids pictures of working police dogs he said see how this dog
is wearing a vest that says police if you ever see a dog dog is wearing a vest that says police? If you ever see a dog
that's wearing a vest, don't approach him
because he's working.
And the kid said, will I get in trouble?
And the dad said, you might. You could also
get the dog in trouble. You don't
want to do that, do you? And the kid would
say, no. He would get grounded
or fired.
Pretty cute. Get the
dog in trouble. Yeah, the dog doesn't. Get out of here, kid. You're gonna Get the dog in trouble.
Yeah, the dog doesn't.
Get out of here, kid.
You're going to get us both in trouble.
Look, I want you to pet me as much as you want to pet me.
But come on, this can only lead to bad things.
So pretty cute.
Today we went to the Just for Laughs Northwest, what would you call it?
Oh, the kind of greeting suite?
Yeah.
And they had a bunch of candy.
And they also had like a big jar full of milk bones in case anyone had a dog.
Yeah.
But it was in a hotel.
And they also had, I looked, two other boxes of dog treats.
Like if this giant jar ran out we got more is uh i not like i i'm legitimately asking this our milk bones is that looked down upon to give your
dog a milk bone now like because everybody has organic whatever dog treats that are noodle yeah
like to people like if you gave a dog a milk bone, would people be like, what are you doing?
Or, no, I don't think it's a, you know.
It's not, it's not like.
You know, it's not fancy.
Yeah, yeah, no, I know, but it's not.
And we certainly don't buy them for our pooch.
Our prized pooch.
But.
But, you know, like now like if a lady on the street has a pocket full of dog milk bones which
happens all the time you're walking you're like hey can i give your dog a bone um the answer is
yes yeah yeah that's yeah i don't know i guess maybe it's different with kids because you know
like you can't give kids juice anymore or whatever like you can't give like anything
that has corn syrup in it or whatever but i don't know if that's the same. Like, you can't give them, like, anything that has corn syrup in it or whatever.
But I don't know if that's the same with dogs.
Yeah, you can.
Yeah, exactly.
Exactly.
That's my philosophy.
Just water it down.
Yeah, yeah.
Or if you don't have water, corn syrup.
In addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls.
If you would like to call us, our phone number is a big one.
Here we go.
It is one of my favorite phone numbers. One of the tops. Is this our phone number is a big one here we go it is one of my favorite phone numbers
one of the tops um is this our phone number peace brother um i should grab the picture again yeah uh
our phone number is like you've got your one right then there's 844 yeah and 779-7631 these are the
letters that go into it if you are the letters that go into it.
If you wanted to, or numbers that go into it.
Yeah.
If you wanted to turn them into letters, they would spell one.
Ugh, SpyPod 1, like these people did.
Hello, Dave, Graham, and beautiful, sensual guests.
Whoa.
This is Zach from Northampton, Massachusetts, calling in with an overheard.
I just saw a pair of kids walking down the sidewalk,
10-year-old girl, 8-year-old boy.
And the girl says, I wish I was Donald Trump.
And the boy kind of looks at her incredulously and says, what?
Why?
And the girl says, because then I could kill myself.
Wow.
Real kind of Twilight Zone twist. He he's like you got your wish now oh yeah
yeah um yeah i didn't know that's where it was going i know that's why i like this i was trying
to think like if it was a kid that wanted to be donald trump that it would just be like unlimited access to candy you know what every adult has unlimited
access to candy i know but kids don't know that i know you know when you tell kids that you have a
hundred dollars blows their mind you have a hundred dollars not now oh i did when i when i was talking
about a kid earlier but then uh, he screwed me up.
Here's your next phone call.
Uh,
Hey,
Dave Graham,
impossible guest.
Uh, I'm calling in for an overheard on behalf of my friend that lives in San
Antonio.
They were taking their sister to hot topic and they overheard this guy say,
Oh wow.
Dr.
Who stuff.
This show is awesome,
but nobody knows
about it
yeah it's real
off the radar
it's been on TV
longer than
Tom is the Tank
is it
oh man
I remember
when Doctor Who
like the theme song
would come on
I don't actually
know how it goes
I just made that up
it is very like
it's like
weeeew
weeeew weeeew weeeew weeeew weeeew weeeew weeeew weeeew weeeew weeeew weeeew weeeew weeeew weeeew weeeew weeeew weeeew weeeew weeeew weeeew weeeew weeeew weeeew I don't actually know how it goes. I just made that up. It is very like that. It's like.
Anyways, that was my cue to turn off the TV.
Oh, Dr. Who's on.
Bye.
How long is this going to be?
How long is this going to feel?
Are you a Dr. Who fan?
I've never seen it.
Are you a Whovian?
Yeah.
I don't understand it, but that's fine.
People who do, knock yourself out.
Something about a police box.
Yeah.
He wears a scarf in one iteration. Bad on purpose, I think, is their slogan.
Like, we could make this.
You know, we know what sci-fi looks like these days, but...
Here's your final phone call.
Hey, guys.
My name is Zach.
I'm calling from California.
Hi.
Two Zacks.
And I just wanted to leave an overheard.
I was on the train the other day, and this woman was on her cell phone
and she said
to the other person
on the line,
your family needs you more
than you need blowjobs.
Your family
needs you more than you need blowjobs.
Matthew 3.
The Bible.
From the dirty Bible.
Oh, sure.
Bad boy Bible.
The BBB.
Yeah.
I mean, absolutely. It's true.
Your family does...
Everybody out there, your family needs you more
than you need blowjobs.
Is that right?
Is that how they said it?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm just considering if that applies to everybody.
Yeah.
What about that guy with two dicks?
Oh, man.
Now I want to go back and read that AMA again.
I probably will tonight before I go to bed.
Enjoy.
I wonder if we can get him on the podcast.
He's probably busy.
We just have the one microphone.
That brings us to the end of the show.
Jenny, do you have anything coming up in the next month?
A show that you're putting on?
New flowers.
Any flowers coming up in the next month?
What's blooming?
What's going to be blooming in the next few weeks?
Oh, man.
Tulips should be coming up.
But for real.
I have shows like this weekend that I'm excited about.
But this won't be done by then.
I think this will be out after that.
With a week.
The first Monday in March.
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't think there's...
Do you have an online presence people can look into?
Yeah.
Or do you not want that?
I'm on Facebook, and I have a Twitter account.
Do I use it?
You never use it.
What about Instagram?
I have an Instagram.
Set to private?
Nope.
Well, what are you on Instagram?
It's Jenny Taves, but it's T-A-V-E-S.
Oh.
Spelled.
Yeah.
Phonetic, yeah.
My name is a weird spelling, so.
There you go.
There's that.
I post about comedy.
I post pictures of plants.
Two things we.
I'm going to check it out right now, but I may not subscribe.
Yeah.
Thank you so much for being our guest.
Thanks for having me.
And if you people out there, you people.
Whoa, what is that supposed to mean?
If you like the show, you can go over to MaximumFun.org.
Check out the blog recap, pictures and videos relating to the content of this podcast, the Talkin' Bus show.
Tayo Tayo. Tayo Tayo thomas the tank engine dr who dr whoville um begonias
what did you say at the hotel today that made me laugh oh i'll save it save it for another time
okay do you remember it? Yeah Anyways
It's a little private moment just for me
And if you want to get in touch with us
Well we already told you how to get in touch with us
Yeah I think
We've already done our live shows
We have one in
We do not know when the tickets
go on sale
for the Toronto show.
Well, we'll know.
You'll know when we know.
Yeah.
For sure.
And if you like the show,
please tell your friends
and come on back next week
for another episode
of Stop Podcasting Yourself. MaximumFun.org
Comedy and culture. Artist owned.
Listener supported.