Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 472 - Craig Anderson
Episode Date: April 3, 2017Actor and comedian Craig Anderson returns to talk Bowling University, Real Housewives of Toronto, and David Foster....
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Hi, he's Dave Shumka.
And he's Graham Clark.
And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself.
Woo!
Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 472 of Stop Podcasting Yourself.
My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who I watched him as he was holding a baby
and he was making coffee and nothing slows this guy down, Mr. Dave Shumka.
Yeah, I'm a real Mr. Mom.
So that was a movie in the 1980s.
The premise was a man raising children
Yeah
Oh wow
And then they were like
What about three men raising a child?
Doesn't it
Wait a second
But before we get to our guests this week
We wanted to thank everyone who donated
As a part of this year's Max Fun Drive
Yeah
It always warms our hearts
To know that there are people out there That want us to continue this jackassery.
Yeah, you are winds beneath wings, specifically the wind and specifically our wings.
And our guest today, very funny comedian.
Got something to say about Mr. Mom or Three Men and a Baby.
Very funny comedian.
You may recognize him as the voice of our business theme he is a favorite here on stop podcasting yourself mr craig anderson
hi guys hi craig let's break down what do you what do you want to say about mr mom doesn't he
isn't isn't he like iron clothes with like a fax machine or like it isnx machine? There's a lot of physical gags of him using dad business stuff to do mom chores.
Yeah, I think he irons some clothes with a fax machine.
That sounds right.
Did we maybe put a coffee filter on his baby instead of a diaper?
Oh, for sure.
You feel like I may be mixing it up with multiplicity.
Oh, yeah, multiplicity.
So does he sometimes get dumber?
That's multiplicity? Oh, yeah. Multiplicity. So does he sometimes get dumber? That's multiplicity.
Yeah, but I feel like a dumb guy would change a baby in a fax machine.
Should we get to know us?
Haven't we?
Okay.
Get to know us.
Craig.
Yes.
It's been a while.
It has been.
Many years.
Yeah, many years. Babies have been born
In that time
Yeah before
You
Last time you were here
I didn't have any babies
You and me were kind of
We were known as the pussy posse
Yeah you
Yeah
The viper room was still hot
Yeah
The toxic twins here
So
What's new?
I'm in Toronto
Okay, can I stop you right there?
Yeah
How about something with like
Uh, who'd be the right
Like Leonardo DiCaprio raising a baby
And he thought he was the diaper room
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah
Pretty good
But he keeps getting dumber
Okay, you're in Toronto
Yes in Toronto doing comedy there
And I've been there for five years
And do you love it?
Yeah I like it
Which part do you
Do you like Toronto
Or the comedy
I like the comedy there and the people there
I mean coming from Vancouver
It is sort of an ugly city I like the comedy there and the people there. Yeah. I mean, coming from Vancouver, it is sort of an ugly city.
I like the, I find the brick buildings there to be very charming.
There are a lot of old Canada type things.
Yeah, no, it doesn't have our natural beauty.
Indeed.
But it's.
It has inner beauty.
Oh, it has its own, it has its own thing.
Yeah.
We went to Chicago a few weeks ago and I'm always confused going to cities where there's actual things to do.
Yeah, yeah.
Because people visit here, and we tell them, oh, you got to hike a thing or climb a thing.
Go see a whale.
Or rent a tandem bicycle.
Yeah, what's the tandem bicycle scene like in Toronto?
Never seen one
Really?
Yeah
That's sad
It's a perfect city for cycling
It is well except for the street car tracks are
Oh are those
That's what I fear that as an idea of cycling
Because they're like they're cut into the road
Yeah
And they're the exact size as a bike tire
Yeah
Yeah
Do you cycle in Toronto?
No.
No.
I won't cycle here.
I'm too afraid.
Yeah, me too.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's funny that you have street cars which are cut
and we have like trolley wires
which are hung.
And so that's a lot.
Yeah.
That's a lot like my dating profile.
A lot like your dating profile.
Now, the last time I saw you was in Toronto.
I just happened to go to a restaurant where you were working, a bar.
Yeah.
And it was above a bowling alley.
And you told me that your position there, you were a barback and a bowling technician.
Yeah.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
I put that on my resume.
I invented the term bowling technician. Oh, okay. But it was,, whoa, whoa. I put that on my resume. I invented the term
bowling technician.
Oh, okay.
But it was...
Yeah, the bowling alley
was part of the bar.
It was like a sexy downtown...
Everyone listening in Toronto
knows this place.
Yeah.
What are we talking?
Five pin, ten pin?
Ten pin.
Oh, wow.
Nine lanes.
That's 90 pins.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So the big...
With the holes in the bar oh yeah yeah yeah uh and i
like the bowling machines just break all the time what are the bowling machines
the big lebowski's and uh your fred flintstones yeah you're gonna be they're gonna be made by
brunswick probably oh the last name in bowling oh i love like it just just industry specific
brand names i love otis for their work yes with elevators yep and schindler for escalators
and uh what's the company that makes like all of the zippers is it yykk ykk on your zipper
um uh yeah so i would go like behind the bowling alley there's a little like
walkway for you the little bowling protects bowling monkey guys go back there and then
pin monkeys pin jockeys pin monkey yeah uh so i'd uh do small repairs on the brunswick
uh pin setter gs 9000 is that really it or do you make that up i think so
um what are the small repairs?
Is it screw driving something that came loose?
Yeah, the pins
just always get jammed and something
or the little feed belt would fall off.
Or also
you could hide back there because
there weren't any cameras
and the management never went back there.
That'd be the first place they would put a camera.
Just take a seat.
And just listen to the
soft sounds of people.
Honk, honk, honk.
Gutterball.
And there was the
head pin monkey, which wasn't me.
Head pin.
The silverback pin monkey.
Got to go to
a bowling university. Got to go to Bowling University?
Got to?
I would love to have gone.
Oh, he didn't.
No, he got it.
He didn't go there before getting the job.
No, you are required.
One person has to have gone to Bowling University at, like, I think it's in.
Are you thinking of Bowling Green University?
No.
Oh, the shutdown after that massacre.
Oh, that terrible, terrible tragedy.
No, I think Bowling Green was somewhere else
And who was the Vancouver Grizzly
Who went to Bowling Green
Anthony McDaniels
Yeah that sounds right
So what's Bowling University
I didn't get to go but it was in like
Is it a four year two year
It's like a week but you have to go
By yourself to like like North Dakota or something.
Oh, really?
Some weird small town where the Brunswick campus is.
I love it.
And they throw bowling balls up in the air instead of graduation caps.
And you go for a week and...
Study the machines?
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
So what are the parts of the machines there's the pin
setting thing yeah that uh what's the biggest problem one of those can get uh i um setting the
wrong pins putting the pins upside down usually like the the mechanism that like scoots the pins
back up into the top the scooter yeah the scooter would get just jammed all the time and well the
worst thing that could happen to you
as a pin monkey is if you were
down there doing some repairs and
you had forgotten to turn off the
ultimate master safety switch,
then that thing could come
down and crush you, which
happened a bunch of times. Oh no!
You get crushed with pins?
Or just with the machine?
Like the arm that like, yeah.
And then the next time someone bowls, you are like, you've been chopped into 10 pin-shaped
crates.
Yeah.
Like an itchy and scratchy.
Yeah.
Or just some of the pins are just covered in blood.
Yeah.
And then I guess the ball return, is there any problem with that?
That was actually, that was the worst because there's like the long tube that goes from
the back to where you receive your ball yeah and if it gets jammed in there you have to
like go down the alley and like rip up all the floor and like so the balls out there's no more
scientific method than just literally opening it up and like moving the ball crude mechanical
device which is sort of satisfying to fix,
but sometimes awful.
And so most of the things that can go wrong are jammings.
Yes, all jams.
Yeah.
It's a lot like a printer.
Yeah.
Yes.
And did you have at this bowling alley
that thing that dries your hands?
No, we didn't have those.
Yeah.
I feel like that's like a very,
it's a particular era have those. Yeah. I feel like that's like a very, it's a particular era of bowling.
Yeah.
The ones that are at where you bowl.
Yeah, yeah.
Like you press something and just like a little, just a very little air would come out and dry your hands.
Also, there was a wet ball thing.
So you could wet or dry your hands.
Oh.
Like a little sponge or something?
It was like a ball that was
half in the table, and I guess
there was water underneath it, and when you spin the
ball, it would like, the surface
would be wet. Like playing golden tea? Yes, exactly.
But wet golden tea. Yeah.
Wet golden tea. So you could
be, yeah, a wet bowler
or a dry bowler. Well, because they have that
at,
like, if you go to a government office, like the passport office, the person behind the counter has like a little spongy thing that they touch.
Oh, man.
Your skin must get so dry.
I wonder if it's a specific government regulation sponge or do they just, everybody just freestyles it.
BYO sponge.
How long did you work at this establishment?
Like two years, year and a half, two years.
Did you become like a better bowler?
No.
Did you ever bowl?
Sort of.
You get free bowling.
So you're like, I guess I should bowl after my shift.
Bowling's more expensive than you think.
Yeah, that's true.
It's like 60 bucks an hour because it's right in downtown Toronto.
Yeah, you should have gone on a lot of first dates.
Okay, I did go on like one date there
or I brought my girlfriend at the time down there.
I was like, it'd be great.
We'll go bowling after my shift.
And when there's only two of you bowling,
that means you're throwing a ball like every 30 seconds.
There's no time to chat. Yeah, there's no time to chat yeah there's no
time to chat or eat your food or drink your beer and then like within 10 minutes your arm hurts so
bad because you're like throwing this huge ball yeah no not great no so uh some of the guys that
work there though that like were were like hot dogger bowlers that would hang around after and do trick shots and stuff.
There's trick shots?
Yeah, like big curves and an opposite direction curve.
And these guys, were they cut and hung?
Oh, yeah.
Was this a place that would have a league?
No.
This was only recreation.
Yeah, it was too nightclub-by sexy downtown for for regulars have
you ever gone to a bowling alley accidentally when there's like league league players no oh boy
boy do you look like you just fell off the turn of truck like they are so good i've gone to
certain things where i didn't expect that there would be ringers there.
Oh, yeah.
Or a couple weeks ago, I took Margo swimming, and we were just in the kiddie pool, but there's a whole big pool there.
And they were doing lifeguard training.
Oh, man.
And so it was just like us, the two of us, and 50 people, like a third of whom were pretending they were injured.
And the rest were like helping them and blowing whistles and stuff.
Safest place to be.
Safest pool in the world. Well, maybe not.
Maybe if they're not good lifeguards. Well, I guess so.
It was something called
Bowling University.
They have a swim team? I wonder if
they have lifeguards. If that's part of
Bowling University.
Yeah, probably. I mean
every bowling alley I've been to has a lifeguard uh i only
played the 10 pin only uh like a handful of times well it is a handful yeah uh yeah no i remember
growing up i used to just play five pin where you just kind of can whip a little grenade down there
yeah and i feel like those pins were maybe on a wire.
Like they weren't being set.
So they didn't have like a complicated machinery.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And every time we talk about bowling, Americans listening are like, what is five pin?
Is it not a.
It's a purely Canadian thing, I think.
And then I remember the bowling alley I went to as a kid had this uh like plaque on the wall that showed what
bowling pins looked like regionally so like regionally there were different styles of
bowling like how in different parts of the city there's different color uh fire hydrants yeah yeah
yeah it was but out in the east coast they had these crazy tall ones that uh that kind of defied logic they look like something
from like like victorian england or something the halifax slender pin yeah yeah it was it was
it wasn't uh shapely it just was like a tube anyways oh i'm so sad you said you got free
bowling because i just came up with a good joke about getting a three-finger disc.
Well, you still got it in there.
Okay.
And why did you pirate ways with this establishment?
What happened?
Terrible question.
That's like a job.
Too much time sitting in the back of a...
No, I booked a granola bar commercial and I had enough money to get by for like a month
And I was like, see you later
See you later, job
I remember that granola commercial
Oh yeah, you were talking to people on the street
Yeah
They fudged that
Yeah, I could tell
So I didn't actually get to travel across Canada
I just asked one person in downtown Toronto
How they liked a quinoa bar
And then they cut in a bunch of people
From like you know
The prairies
Just a microphone sticking in the shot
But why would they even have to do that
Unless they were standing in front of something iconic
Couldn't you just shot that all in downtown Toronto
I guess I think they tried to put it in front of something iconic couldn't you just shot that all in downtown toronto i guess oh yeah they i think they tried to put it in front of iconic stuff i guess unless somebody
was holding what a different pin from a certain yeah yeah dead giveaway i want to see where did
you find out about these pins this is at the bowling alley there was like a big thing on the
wall had a map of canada and then showed the different styles of bowling bins i want to go i
want to work i don't want to work at a bowling alley but i want to see i think i did at some
the catalog that you get of like what kind of stuff you can put on the wall there must be a
bowling specific brunswick catalog we have all these brunswick posters oh there's got to be uh
because every industry like i remember being in a pizza place and they had a stack of a magazine that was called pizza with an exclamation point.
I love it.
And then you just, it was just like different ovens.
And like, these are the new, what are those wooden things that you put in to pull the pizza out?
Yeah, paddle.
Yeah, pizza paddles.
And, you know, some sexy spread of a sauce.
Yeah. and uh you know some sexy spread of a a sauce yeah uh but yeah like there must be a bowling industry yeah what what determines which magazines make it
to 7-eleven shelves because frankly there's a lot of hot rod magazines that do. Yeah, yeah, you're right. And I see maybe three hot rods a year.
And I think I would read a bowling,
or at least flip through it if I saw it in a store.
Somebody told me that there's a specific,
it's based out of the States,
and it's called, I think it's called Bowling AM or something.
And it's just a radio station that only plays in bowling i'm sure and
like you can send uh like uh this goes out to christy uh you know whose birthday lane six yeah
yeah what are bowling songs though why does it oh that's a good question what are the best bowling Stuck in the middle with you, I feel like. Yeah, sure. Gutter lovers.
Gutter lovers.
Hand blower.
Yeah.
Oh, blowing in the wind.
Sure.
Seven-tenths foot in my heart.
Oh, baby.
Waka-waka.
Hoopity-dink.
Let's see.
What else is a good bowling song?
Hit me with your best shot, I feel.
Yep. Oh, yeah.
Any you want to add?
Something to do with ball weights.
The 12th pounder.
One step over the line.
Is that something?
One toke over the line.
Yeah, but you could bowl.
You could weird Al it up
It could be about bowling
I'm the weird Al of bowling
What area of Toronto do you call home?
Right downtown?
Pretty close to downtown
I live in Koreatown
Koreatown
Yes
And
What's that like? I've never been I don't think I've been in Koreatown Koreatown Yes And uh What's that like?
I've never been
I don't think I've been in Koreatown
Chinatown
Would you know you were in Koreatown?
It's not very
It's quick
You could blink and miss it
Yeah
Oh maybe
Around Bloor and
Does it announce itself
Or does it sneak up on you
Like those sneaky Koreans
I like to make up a
A racist thing And then I can't be called racist.
Because you just, because you're the first one who.
Maybe I had a really good like burrito in Koreatown.
Yes, yes.
Is that possible?
Tacos El Asador is right in the heart of Koreatown, of course.
Sure.
Yeah, that's just down the street from me.
Because, like, oftentimes I'll be in Toronto in the summer,
and sometimes I'll see a super long lineup,
and I'll be like, what cool place is this?
And it's always a taco place or an ice cream place.
Yeah, a lot of ice cream.
There's a really stupid place there that has a lineup,
and I don't really know what it is,
but it's like the poop cafe.
And it just has the poop emoji is the sign.
Right.
And I think it's candy that looks like poop.
And there's like a line around the block.
Because we had an idea for a bathroom themed restaurant.
Yeah, yeah.
Everything would be like you were in a public bathroom.
But then people wrote us and were like, this is an actual thing in Taiwan or something.
Yeah, that's right.
Those sneaky Taiwanese stealing our ideas.
So, so, uh, you, uh, have never been in this place, but there's always a lineup?
Yes.
And like, why, why?
I don't.
It's so that people can take photos.
Yeah, it seems like a novelty entirely.
I wonder what the,
like,
what's the plan with that?
Like where,
you know,
it's a couple of guys open a cereal restaurant.
Are they like,
we'll just get a couple of years out of this and then we'll,
we'll be on a few blogs.
Yeah.
Well,
there was another thing I think in Toronto,
I never went,
but like someone recreated the,
uh,
the Seinfeld diner.
Oh yeah. And you could go eat there in like a
replica of monks yeah yeah i can see that and they did well they did like a couple days of
before the uh i'd like all over north america they did the gilmore girls diner all over
is that is that i've never seen uh gilmore, is that like the main setting? That's a central location there
In Hobbler's Knob or whatever
Gobbler's Knob
That's a different move
Different thing altogether
But it's, and then
I don't know where this was
It was in LA, but I don't know what it was
I saw people posting pictures from it
Someone set up a video store
That only carried
jerry mcguire oh yeah yeah i saw that and that's like that's that's like more like an art yeah
installation but it's like yeah i don't know i guess if you can come up with something that
enough people will be like have you been to this what do we have here well but that twin peaks theme bar that was kind of like a novel
is it still a twin peaks themed bar i mean it is but it's just now it's just a bar that people go
to okay i think that was enough to like and then the cat the cat cafe right do they have one of
those in toronto i don't know maybe it seems gross i don't understand why people would want
to go people like cat yeah Not everyone thinks cats are gross.
But, you know, like I like goats, but I don't think I'd want to go eat a bagel next to one.
Well, maybe I would.
Goat deli?
Yeah, sure.
Yeah, goat deli.
Yeah. The more I'm saying, the more it's growing up.
I would definitely go to goat deli.
Would it be goat themed food or just goats are there?
Yeah, just goats are there.
Okay, so you don't have to eat a can.
Oh, I thought you meant, like, the food would be made of goats.
Like goat roti.
Goat protein?
No, goat roti.
Oh.
Goat protein.
That's a very specific, like, post-workout powder.
A little-known fact, those GoPro cameras are short for goat protein.
Goat protein.
Oh, yeah.
That's how I maintain this ripped artifice.
Goat protein.
Have you been to anything like that?
Because Toronto seems like a couple of people could get together and buy a storefront and turn it into a theater.
It feels like that kind of city.
Yeah, there's not a lot of red tape as far as starting a place.
Yeah.
What would be yours?
Do you have any ideas?
I mean, other than goat protein.
So goat protein's out.
Goat protein's out.
I want three new ideas
uh you know i think probably something to do with the california raisins okay sure
so you go in and you can you can have raisin bran uh-huh a raisin bread are you served by
people in raisin costumes yep and we only play the california race sure or the songs inspired by the california not the songs that
inspired them but um craig what about a restaurant that all the furniture was breakaway furniture
yes oh that's great at the end of every meal you could body slip someone through a table yeah yeah
that's really good everyone would be safe would throw someone through the front window.
Smash your glasses.
Oh, no, that's a good one.
I don't have one.
Bye.
That's really... Oh, man.
And then, like...
Oh, you know what?
My idea would be, like, a 50s diner.
Like, burgers, fries, shakes, the whole caboodle.
Maybe have a picture of Elvis Somewhere on the wall
Oh no
In my religion
We do not depict Elvis
You know what's weird
I don't think I've ever been
To like a restaurant
That's like a religious
Themed restaurant
But I bet you that
Would get a lot of press
If there was just like
It was a restaurant
That was like a Jesus restaurant
Have you been to the Sikh temple that serves free food?
Yeah, I went there like the first year I lived in Vancouver and it blew my mind because they do that every day.
It's part of their religion.
Yeah.
Do you know that?
No.
Like, so you can go, it would be the same in Toronto.
You go to the Sikh temple.
They just have free dinner for anybody.
You just have to line up.
And the rule, I think, is that you just have to, whatever you take, you have to finish.
Right.
And.
You can't take it with you.
Yeah, you can't.
You can't take it with you.
It's just very.
Filling up a garbage bag.
Yeah, exactly.
Mashed potatoes.
And, yeah, a friend of mine was like, yeah, let's just go to the Sikh temple for dinner.
And I was like, oh, this is going to be weird.
Like I thought that it was like.
A big ceremony.
No, but it's not.
You just go and you eat.
Just have food.
Yeah.
And it's pretty pleasant.
That's cool.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know what a religious meal would be.
Other, like in a restaurant.
Fish and loaves.
Oh, sure. meal would be other like in a restaurant you know fish and loaves oh sure some kind of like uh communion themed restaurant yeah yeah yeah these are you can just uh you serve water but
price it as wine yeah real nice and the menu could be like two uh tablets and you open them
up and they're like commandments. I'm already really working
on the design of this place.
Oh, yeah.
And you can never be like,
I'll have what she's having
because you can't covet
what your neighbor has.
At the end of the service,
you just flood the restaurant
to make everyone leave.
Yeah.
I'll have the golden calf.
Yeah, and then you can have everybody's in the, you know, the...
Robes.
Robes and sandals and...
Yeah, I think an Exodus-themed restaurant would be good.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
It's like...
Sand sandwich.
There's just so many good ideas for restaurants.
That's so little time.
Have you ever gone to like
a novelty anything like that just to like get a picture in front of it i don't think so i don't
think i have either although the one was the one a couple years ago when the simpsons movie came out
i feel like they're turning into quickie marts yeah and i was like i thought that was good i
think it's fun i like whimsy all right yes yeah I think it's fun. I like whimsy. All right.
Yes.
Yeah.
I think it's fun if it's a thing you know about, but if you're just going to 7-Eleven,
you're like, why is there a liner on the block?
I just want to smoke.
Yeah, that's true.
If you don't know the thing that's happening, like I know a lot of people were posing in
Game of Thrones chairs chairs oh yeah oh
yeah i did that yeah yeah you're a big throne head aren't you yeah major throne did you read
the books before the show came out i did that's a big head and are you afraid that he's not going
to finish the books before he or do you care or they're the show and the books are like completely divergent stories.
Have you read the divergent stories?
No, I've seen one of the divergent, I think.
Which one is that?
Shailene Woodley.
Shailene.
Shailene.
Shailene Woodley.
It was divergent, allegiant, insurgent, allergic.
Yeah, allergic. allergic and uh allegiant
oh a legend yeah beatific uh what uh uh what do you like better the books or the movies
uh probably the books i don't know if he if they're not movies by the way they're tv show is that oh yeah yeah yeah that's what
um is it something that i should get into because i've never seen an episode or uh read a single
page just or is it too late it's too late right you can catch up no you can catch up catch up
there's one more season yeah if you're a fantasy book person or not. It may really... Okay, then don't.
Yeah, but I don't know.
But I feel like Society really went for it in a big way.
It's like the most popular show in the world.
But if you missed it, like if you made it this far, you're fine, I think.
Yeah, that's true.
Where you can just...
Time-wise, you may as well just watch it because it's a lot of pages.
Yeah.
Or time-wise, you may as well do neither.
Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Do nothing. Save that precious time. Yeah. pages yeah yeah or but time-wise you may as well do not yeah exactly yeah yeah do nothing
save that precious time yeah time-wise just watch failure to launch again
why do i watch that so often oh well um what is is that have you really watched it many times no
okay i don't know that i've even i thought you were talking about drunk graham watching it a
couple weeks ago is that a m McConaughey and Jessica Parker?
Kate Hudson?
No, Kate Hudson.
Or am I thinking of Fool's Gold?
Oh, yeah.
Great watch.
Is it?
I love Fool's Gold.
It's so stupid.
Is Steve Zahn in it?
No, it's Sahara.
Oh, okay.
Sahara?
Shame on me.
What's Fool's Gold?
Is it a...
Where he...
Oh, does he... You tell me. Is it an action comedy? Is it a, where he, oh, does he, you tell me.
Is it an action comedy?
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
Oh, it is?
Oh, I definitely haven't seen it.
For me, it's the quintessential action romantic comedy.
Okay.
He's a, like, bumbling bum.
Kate Hudson.
Treasure hunter.
Yeah.
And she leaves him because he's such a bum.
But then he, like, comes across a big score and they probably take it together and fall
in love again. And I think... Who's the bad guy
in it? I've looked up Failure to Launch. It is
Sarah Jessica Parker. What's the other one with McConaughey and Kate Hudson? Is the bad guy
Donald Sutherland? Yes. Classic bad guy.
What's the other one with McC mcconaughey and uh kate
hudson where uh it's she's trying to break up with him or something how to lose a guy in 10 days
we did it that's weird that like
i didn't know those two were in two movies together. Yeah. Like, there's certain people that you're like, oh, let's put, you know, Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson in a bunch of things together.
Yeah.
But then...
They tried to make McConaughey and Hudson a real, you know, modern day Farley and Spade.
Yeah, it's weird when you don't notice it happening.
Like, I can follow along i'm like okay will ferrell
is always in these movies with whoever yeah but uh yeah that just learning now apparently it really
snuck up on me matthew mcconaughey and kate hudson were in multiple movies different tones of movies
yeah and uh but both where there's seemingly...
Will they or won't they?
They will.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They can't...
Could two of the best looking people in the world make it work?
They can.
Which is nice.
That's a nice message to go home with.
Although not in real life they haven't made it work.
Not together.
No, no, no.
Or separately, really.
I think Matthew does fine. I think he's made it work. Yeah, is he a family man?
Yeah, I think he's got a beautiful wife. He still makes time for his abs.
Yeah, I think beautiful people getting together can work. Yeah, yeah, I guess you're right.
Although, actually, Kate Hudson and the guy from The Black Crows didn't work.
Yeah. Because he was too beautiful. And Kate Hudson and
Owen Wilson.
That didn't, not that he's, is he one of the beautiful people?
Your thoughts, Craig?
Yeah.
Yeah?
I mean, he's not.
Who's the most beautiful?
Oh, yeah.
Who's the most beautiful?
Who's the most beautiful person?
Oh, boy.
Probably that guy that plays Aquaman now.
Oh, Jason Momoa? Yeah,oa yeah he's probably oh he's quite
beautiful yeah yeah i would say like he would he's got my vote him or uh the guy who played in uh
the movie match point oh yeah weird looking guy yeah it's so sharp what What's his... Crisp, sharp face. Who, what was his name?
He's not, was he the guy from, he's not Cillian Murphy?
No, but that guy's pretty, he's up there too.
That's a pretty sharp face.
So you like a sharp face.
I like a nice, sharp, smooth.
For me, it's probably Tom Petty.
Oh yeah, yeah.
Real sharp face.
Sunken, real sunken. Yeah, it's not sharp face. Sunken.
Real sunken.
Yeah, it's not trying to prove anything.
Yeah, yeah.
Looks good in a top hat.
It really doesn't.
Did you watch the Tom Petty documentary on Netflix?
No, I didn't.
Well, if you have four hours.
Yeah, yeah.
I recommend it.
Now that you're caught up on Game of Thrones, you might have some time.
My takeaway from that was he tries so many different looks looks bad
in all of them i think his original he's so cool but and you think oh cool people can look good
in anything nope his original look of just t-shirt with uh you know blazer or jacket yeah
damn the torpedoes yeah that was a good look and then it did you're right it got more silk scarfy
right over the years
Headbands
I feel like that's more
A function of a
Receding hairline
Once you see that
Headband come out
You're like
You're not fooling anybody
Like
I mean although
Axl Rose was smart
To get it
Get it on there early
So people wouldn't
Wouldn't know
We still do
We still do
How's his hair?
Huh?
How's Axl's hair?
Probably not good
didn't he do come back with braids yeah right yeah but they may have been like didn't he also
like didn't he break his like leg and he had they made him like a hilarious giant wheelchair throne
so he could still move around the stage like a lazy boy with like red leather but it was controlled by a little remote
we'll post a picture of it but yeah no it's that's really good it was weird because they
are like notorious for canceling concerts and then he was like, yeah, show must go on.
Oh, man.
Oh, to be in the audience at that concert.
Where I bet you they didn't even look at each other on stage. I bet you it was like they had it arranged so that Slash never saw Axl. Oh, is Slash back in?
Well, yeah, they was called the Never...
What was it called like the
never in a thousand years tour or something like that not in this lifetime that's what it's called
oh because that's a famous quote from when they broke up i guess hell freezes over yeah exactly
um no no no no no no knees knees that's what i would have called the tour
when you're writing out those lyrics do you do kn kn kn that's a good question i mean you're writing out those lyrics Do you do K-N, K-N, K-N?
That's a good question I mean, you're really assuming that Axel's a good speller
Written it out
Dave, what's going on with you?
Speaking of Toronto
Yes
I've been watching a television show set in Toronto
There aren't many
This is a new television show called the real housewives of
toronto did you hear about this did you hear this have you seen this have you seen this i haven't
seen toronto i've watched a bit of beverly hills okay i watched a lot of the vancouver yeah i only
saw the vancouver one which the only thing i remember of it was a woman had a vampire uh facial they called it or vampire that's where
a vampire comes in and does something very horrible to your loved one was it a vampire
facial it was a vampire necklace it was a vampire facial yeah and you get blood sucked out of your
out of something something like out of your butt and injected into your face.
Right.
And what's-her-name was a big...
A Kardashian.
A Kardashian was big about it.
Butt blood.
And this one was...
I think what I've gathered from all of these shows is that the format is...
Women be shopping.
They have a party.
Yeah.
And then the next episode, everyone just meets up.
Everyone has meetups with everyone else who was at the party.
And they all talk about what happened at the party.
How someone betrayed someone else at the party.
Yeah.
And then they have another party and someone doesn't get invited and then there's a big deal about that
uh my favorite thing about watching the vancouver one was all it was always set in places i had
never heard of oh yeah city that i live in right the the yeah like we we we met at Salt Cane. And you're like, what's Salt Cane?
Looks very popular.
What's a...
I don't really go to parties.
But when I do, I consider that seeing someone.
So if someone asks me, hey, can we meet up after that?
Talk about that party?
Yeah.
No, we just saw each other at the party.
What do we need to see each other again for?
What is the makeup of the group?
Like, what are they rich from?
Well, it's funny.
There's six of them.
Yeah.
Two of them aren't housewives.
Okay.
So, I mean, in the sense that they're not even wives.
Two of them aren't married.
Okay. One of them aren't married Okay
One of them doesn't
One of them is
Divorced
With children
One of them has never been married
Okay
As far as I can tell
No maybe she
No she's married
One of them is
Not a wife
But Housewife I guess
Is a loose definition
Sure
There's
It really is the kind of show
Where you have to have a hook
Yeah
Like for me to remember you.
So I can only really remember three of them.
Or a very funny name.
Yeah, that's true.
Like Vanderpump.
Oh yeah.
She rules.
She has her own spinoff.
Is she a Beverly Hill?
She's a Beverly Hill.
Was she the blonde, blondie?
No, she's a dark haired.
Okay.
I think she has like an accent, British accent.
I don't know. I only know the
Beverly Hills one has Lisa Rinna. Yeah.
Well, it's Lisa Rinna and Lisa Vanderpump.
So there's two Lisas. She just
goes by Vanderpump.
Was there one who was a
Kelsey Grammer's ex-husband wife?
Oh, yeah. Oh, maybe.
But I feel like that was...
Was there another one?
Was there of the OC?
Am I making that up?
Was there one where they're holding oranges?
Is that...
There might be the Atlanta one.
There's an Atlanta one.
I think there was some movement
branded by fruit.
Hold the fruit from where you're from. So we know. I don't even know what would be branded by fruit. Yeah. Hold the fruit from where you're from so we know.
Yeah.
I don't even know what would be Toronto's fruit.
Or Vancouver's.
Yeah.
I mean.
Berries.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Just a handful of loose berries.
Hold up a handful of loose berries.
In Toronto, I think we'll be the same.
Yeah.
Loose berries.
So there's, I only remember three of them because
there's only three toronto people that have like a good hook one is a lady who's super christian
okay but also talks so much and said a really dumb thing about drake
that's very on brand she said she was doing being a part of this gala to like, you know, and this will be a good, this is for the young people of Toronto.
And it'll be a good thing, you know, to give them a start off in life.
Because, you know, look at Drake.
He started off working in Shopper's Drug Mart.
Not for very long.
Then he was on television.
No, he never worked at Shopper's Drug Mart.
That was a music video.
He was on television, and then he was a rapper.
And in between, he didn't work at Sharper's Drug Mart.
I wondered about that.
Was that video just completely...
I thought it was true.
You know what?
I bought in.
I might be wrong.
I don't know.
Yeah. If he did, it I don't know. Yeah.
If he did, it wasn't between TV and rap.
It was probably before TV.
But TV, he was 10.
Yeah, that's true.
I don't see a lot of 8-year-olds working at Shopper's Dog Mart.
You know, the family-owned ones.
Where it's just, you know, some teens napping in the corner over by the uh lice combs
why does lice stuff all behind the counter at the uh
that's a good that's a yeah uh because i end item because if you had a choice between asking for it
or just stealing it i I would just steal it.
But I don't think you need a doctor's note, do you?
No, but... Well, but it's prominently displayed always.
Yeah.
We got the light stuff.
Yeah, big sign-off for a guy spinning a thing
that does light stuff.
The next woman I know is...
She is the woman who's not a wife.
She has her own business called Yoga, or it's Yoga for Jocks.
I think that's what it is.
Yeah.
And she trains professional athletes.
Okay.
She seems really with it.
Everyone seems with it.
Yeah.
Well, some people are off in their own world.
Yeah. The Christian lady some people are off in their own world. Yeah.
The Christian lady is sort of talks too much.
I don't mean to sound misogynist.
I feel like that's how that came off.
I feel like in this group of people, when the six people get together, she's the only one who talks.
But maybe that's just how it's edited.
Other one I remember is the, uh,
her thing is she's the chubby one.
Okay.
Her name's Roxy.
She's my favorite.
Yeah.
And like,
is there anybody on it that's like a real hot mess?
Not yet.
Cause I feel like there's maybe one whose thing is she's way,
she's like so much richer than all the other ones.
Yeah.
On an island.
Really?
Yeah.
Cool.
I feel like when you're rich,
or at least in that world,
there's a lot of,
you go to a lot of galas.
Yes.
Like,
how many galas would you say you've been to in your whole life?
You can probably count them on both hands.
Yeah.
Imagine.
Yeah,
definitely under 10 galas.
You have a 10 gala hat though.
Thank you.
But yeah, it feels like on these shows.
I've been to a gala.
Yeah.
A fancy gala where someone bought a table or whatever.
And.
Was it great or was it not great?
No, I've definitely felt out of my comfort zone.
Yeah.
Because I don't have any money.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So people pay a lot of money to have a table, and then they ask for even more money.
And it's to benefit something.
And they always get a local newscaster to host the thing, and they'll have someone who's affected by whatever this issue is.
Right.
Come give a speech and you're, it's heartwarming.
And you're like, I can't, I can't, I don't have any money.
I'm here because someone else had money.
Yeah.
I remember going to one years ago when I think when the Vancouver Comedy Festival
was just kind of starting out.
Yeah. the Vancouver Comedy Festival is just kind of starting out. And they did
a roast of the
mayor who at the time
this is like ages ago was the
guy that Da Vinci's Inquest was based on.
Okay. For our American
listeners this is a TV show
about
Vancouver. Was he a
coroner? He was a coroner. Who became the
mayor. And he so they did like a roast of him.
And like, it was like all high profile people in the trailer park, boys were on it.
Right.
And, but because I helped write jokes for the roast, like there was a table for the writers.
And, I mean, my best clothes would be something that the other people in the room would have worn as a Halloween costume.
To be a hobo.
To what?
To be a hobo or whatever.
Hobo.
Okay.
And then at dessert, they came over and they gave everybody, it was like the best looking dessert I've ever seen, but they had gold on it.
It had flakes of gold.
Yeah. And I was like, what's this all about? sleeping dessert i've ever seen but they had a gold on it like it had like flakes of gold yeah
and i was like what's this all about and i just like saw every yeah everybody else just like
eating it like it was the most natural thing in the world to just eat gold anyways uh yeah that's
always a thing when they have they'll have a news story about like the most expensive hamburger or
like this restaurant has a 800 dessert and it's just gold
yeah golden caviar yeah some truffles in there yeah and uh it's not something that would be good
well maybe it would be i don't think gold has any flavor no no i think it's is it gonna hurt
your fillings uh probably it's gonna make uh i don't know dude like there's a whole liqueur that's just based on
gold there's gold in this i've never had it yeah me either it's gross it's cinnamon flavor cinnamon
and you if you combine it with the jagermeister you make something called a liquid cocaine
why is it liquid cocaine that was just what we call it at the bar i used to work at
you make something we call a liquid cocaine.
I guess.
I don't know.
Because it's sugary.
Yeah.
Sure.
Is there such thing as liquid cocaine?
And if not, why not?
Oh, sure there is.
Yeah?
I think you can inject cocaine.
Yeah.
Okay.
Now we're talking.
Now we're talking what I'm going to do before the next gal I go to.
Yeah, Goldschlager. I'll put that on the old bucket list
Yeah sure
Yeah they don't sell it in tiny bottles
I just want to sip
Yeah maybe a shot
Does any bar have it?
Yeah you gotta keep it on hand for liquid cocaine
Have you been a bartender?
Yes
What do people order
That contains Goldschlager?
Just
This liquid cocaine?
That's the only thing
Or just a shot of Goldschlager
I've never seen it mixed
Or would you have a
Order a round of
Shots of Goldschlager
For me and my horrible
Friends
Yeah
I served many horrible friends
We're the worst
To us
Yeah I think the next time I order shots I served many horrible friends. We're the worst. To us.
Yeah, I think the next time I order shots, which who knows what that'll be.
It's going to be Goldschlag.
Make mine a Goldschlag.
It's weird.
I don't mind a shot.
No. But I never, and people, I've never bought one for myself, but I've had people buy them for me.
Yeah, I don't think I've ever gone and like,
give me a shot of something.
Because I don't live in the old way.
I've had a shot of wine at my communion themed restaurant.
Yeah, I don't know.
Shots feel like something that have to just come to you.
Yes.
Have you done that thing where you do
a hundred shots of beer in a hundred minutes?
I'm a centurion. Yeah.
No. No, me neither. It seems
like, oh, I could do that.
But I think by the time it's
done. I feel like I'd explode. Yeah, I think
it messes people up. But shots are pretty small.
I know, but just the accumulation
of the kind of the bloat
I think with beer.
I think I could do a hundred shots of Goldschlager.
I like a good beer buzz early
in the morning. Really? That's from Cheryl
Crow's All I Want to Do is Have Some Fun.
And Jimmy likes to peel the
labels off his bottles of wood.
Yeah, she's the only one having fun in that
bar, I feel like. She's really
touristing in that song.
Yeah, everyone else is washing their
cars on their lunch break.
Touristing in that song Cause everybody else
Everyone else is washing
Their cars on their lunch break
Oh lordy
Graham
Yeah
What's up with you?
I
Yesterday
I went and
Popped over to
Victoria to visit
My grandmother
94
94 years old
Did you get a letter
From the
Queen yet?
She I think she Yeah, I think she did
And she also got
I feel like a letter from the pope
Yeah, she's Catholic?
Yeah, she's Catholic
She should come to my restaurant
Yeah, oh, she'd love it
Loaves abound
We went to this restaurant that was like
Close to where she lives
and it's this
in this
crazy
it's like a brand new
hotel
but it looks like an old
hotel
like it's specifically
been built to look like
an old English
right
uh inn
kind of thing
and uh
there's a theater in there
that's the uh
David Foster
is that the guy
the famous composer like the David Foster. Is that the guy? Yeah. The famous composer.
The David Foster Theater is built into this place.
And I only discovered it because I went to go use the bathroom.
And when I came out, there was this whole wall that was just all David Foster.
Like every album that he had worked on.
And first of all, I had no idea that he worked on that many albums.
Yeah.
worked on and uh first of all i had no idea that he worked on that many albums yeah and there's like a picture of him like standing next to a piano with all his grammys lined up on the piano
what is his big thing did he do like his calgary 88 olympic theme right he did he did this music
st elmo's fire oh yeah and then he's worked on he worked on like hall and oats albums and uh
all of michael buble's yeah that
is his newer stuff celine dion maybe some celine dion where did he start he started like in the
was he in a band uh no i think he just he was like he was a songwriter maybe he started in
canada in a band or something but he's from guys... Guys, I'm wiki-ing this guy.
Did he... He had a reality show too, didn't he?
Yeah.
With...
That's where America first learned about Spencer Pratt.
Spencer Pratt.
It was called The Princes of Malibu.
Right.
Yes.
And he was married to the Jenners' parents.
Like Caitlyn Jenner, her sons had a different mother.
Oh, yeah.
Isn't that when we learned about Brody Jenner?
Is he the well-to-do man?
David Foster is best known for his novel Infinite Chess.
infinite chess oh he was oh was he in hmm hmm but he's like I gather that he's been married four times okay and for married and divorced four times Skylark
was his band in the 70s who had a hit song called Wildflower.
You would not know it.
No, I don't think so.
Skylark.
From Skylark to Booblark.
Michael Booblark.
It works.
So, yeah, he's got this theater.
I don't know what goes on in the theater. i don't think it's like a performance space but why
would his name be on a non-performance space i when you say the calgary 88 olympic theme yes i
can only imagine the john tesh basketball song no the calgary is it's in the same wheelhouse. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun.
Oh, because I was thinking of...
They're both catchy.
Mm-hmm.
And so, yeah.
So, I discovered that diamond in the rough.
And then coming back on the ferry, the ferry was an hour and a half late and it was
the last ferry of the day so it only takes an hour and a half to go across i know
so i was on and i guess every teen sports team in bc was on this ferry it's a spring break
oh that's what it was i was like why are there so many teens on this ferry?
And so, like, as a thing to make it up to passengers, they were
like, free coffee and tea
and hot chocolate. Which is, free coffee at 1039?
But, like, the
stampede of teens
For hot chocolate
It was insane
I didn't get any
I was like, I guess I'm not going to fight these teens
Oh, but you would
A younger man would
You know what I've found
About teens
This is a phenomenon
I noticed in the summer months
in Toronto
while I'll often be
in a coffee shop
in the afternoon
doing
my writings.
Yeah.
Your newsletter.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The bacon and
Crager.
But if I'm there
around three or four
When high schools get out
Like a stampede of teens will all
Come into the Starbucks
And all just order ice waters
For free
Because Starbucks has to
Like the policy like yes we will serve every teen
An ice water if they ask for it
It's like how is that the policy
None of them buy it
Like literally like six guys
come in and all order ice water. I feel like that would be an urban legend.
Like I hear that if you go to Starbucks and you order an ice water, they have to give it to you.
And a cop has to tell you he's a cop.
That's right. That's such a, but that is a real team
thing to do. Like, boy, oh boy, what are you going to do?
Yeah.
Line up for my free thing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, yeah, man, oh man, like, nothing.
That's the commonality between teens and kids and adults everywhere.
Offering them a free anything, even if it's something they have zero interest in.
There will be a stampede for it.
Oh, yeah. But free ice water. they could have got that at school yeah or at least some free water
out of a fountain yeah i know but it's better it doesn't it feel better when you feel like you're
putting one over on somebody like did and but then do they hang out no okay it's not like yeah
they'll get then they get like in a cup to go cup with a straw and everything.
And then they all, it's very hot out.
So I gain.
Yeah.
But, but they don't, they're not, they're not abusing it for a place to hang out.
No, they don't sit down.
They just clog up the line.
I kind of like these, I like these kids.
Is it more common for all, like say there six of them, for each of them to say,
yeah, can I get an ice water?
Or for one of them to say, six ice waters?
I've seen both.
Oh, wow.
The Starbucks employees do not like the six ice waters ordered by one guy for everyone.
Oh, like he's treating everybody to ice water?
Yeah, they'll push back on that.
But if you order one per person
They cannot push back
I've been
That's their one weakness
I've
Gone to a couple
Hockey games this year
Go Canucks
Always
And
I will have
I'll bring someone with me
And
They will Be You know, happily buy me a beer.
Yeah.
But you can't buy two beers unless there's two people there, I think.
Oh, really?
So, it's like, yeah, I have to stand there, even though I'm in the line next to him buying a footlong hot dog.
Yeah.
I'm not going to make anyone him buying a footlong hot dog. Yeah. I'm not going to make anyone buy me a footlong hot dog.
But it is funny that like, yeah, this is the other guy.
I think I have to bring you along to the thing.
Do you have ID?
That's a good policy though.
Yeah, absolutely.
Especially at a sporting game.
Oh, man.
I feel like you can buy two at Blue Jays games.
Wow, that's anything.
Goes.
We know that.
It really is.
It's so hot in the summer.
Those teams were fist fighting this year, god damn it.
It's true.
Do we want to move on to some overheard?
Or do we want to move on to business just to hear that theme?
Actually, Craig does another theme for us.
Let's do the Graham graham's dad movie reviews
what are you made of can you see with both your eyes look in the distance it's easy if you try
watch all the movies and don't waste your time just give it it a line. One line. Graham's dead.
Overheard.
Overheard.
It's a segment in which we hear those things out there in the world.
And then we talk about them here.
And we always like to start with the guest.
Yep.
Craig.
Yes.
You got one?
Yes.
This is an overseen
from a little while ago.
I'll allow it.
Yeah.
Thank you.
This feels right.
I have pictures on my phone.
I was walking home one night
and I enjoy a good
vanity license plate
that I find easy.
Yes, yes.
I'll take photos of them
when I can.
So I saw one
on a fairly generic, sensible Mazda sedan that said,
Chips and Dip.
And I thought, that's great.
That's so many letters.
Yeah, it's all there.
How do they do it?
Yeah, no I in chips.
Okay.
There you go.
Yeah.
And I thought that was a great job for that block of Toronto,
but like two cars later was like a bright yellow mid-90s Mustang
with the vanity license plate goddess.
Oh, wow.
Oh, pretty good block.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. Wow. Probably, probably probably same household don't you
think they're the vanity plate household maybe i've also seen uh there's a oh i got a bunch
a mini that parks near me uh outside of a very expensive looking house that says w murdoch on it which i'm pretty sure must be mr murdoch
yannick bison himself
the canadian tv show yeah wow is the character w murdoch i've never watched william i've never
watched the show murdoch mysteries for our non-Canadian listeners is a show I've never watched it's basically
Victorian
CSI
yeah
and he's into gadgets
and like
inventions of the time
so he'll be like
like a steam powered
Fitbit
yeah yeah
or like a flashlight
like a flashlight
that's the size
of a suitcase
our
ex-Prime Minister
did a cameo on it as the...
Oh, Stephen Harper.
Yeah.
As the evil Prime Minister.
He was like a constable or something.
Sure.
Yeah.
Seems up his alley.
Yeah.
He's paying for it anyway.
Yeah, that's right.
We all are as taxpayers.
Every Thads in Canada,
our leader gets to be in one
CBC show of his choosing.
What do you think Justin Trudeau will pick?
Kim's convenience.
Kim's convenience?
Sure, working moms.
We should all be so lucky.
Dave, do you have an over?
I do, and I just want to mention
that we have a...
There's a lot of places people can go to
to talk about our show you can go to
the maximum fun reddit group uh you can tweet us on twitter and uh there's also a facebook group
we have which has turned into 100 just uh vanity plates and i love it Yeah yeah Because lord knows I'm never going to mention them on the air
My
Overheard doesn't really count
Because it's from the Real Housewives of Toronto
One of these
Housewives, Kara
Kisses her husband
And then she gives a
Like a little testimonial to camera
And she says every time we kiss
We kiss and hold for 10 seconds.
A quick kiss is just a peck
and I never want my husband to be henpecked.
Wow.
I mean,
it's like she doesn't know what that
word means or she does
and she thinks she's being clever.
Do they freeze their whole bodies
for 10 seconds?
They don't keep moving
they hold their like they touch and kiss but like it really 10 seconds is a long time screen time
and it's like you you get a lot fewer kisses i guess that way right yeah yeah you're less
likely to want to bother like oh you
know what i actually have something to do in eight seconds so the microwave is ticking down and you
could really make it uh you could really make a meal out of it on reality tv by constantly showing
like a time wipe and playing a clock ticking in the background. Yeah. Yeah. Edit in a digital tumbleweed.
These are things you could do just to make it seem like,
oh, 10 seconds.
But it's a long time.
That's a long time to kiss anybody,
even somebody you like.
Okay.
Well, okay.
Well, not, okay, guys, we're not really kissing,
but I'm going to start.
Okay, we're going to start fake kissing.
Okay.
Right. Right. Okay. Okay. Right.
Right.
Okay.
Now.
Done.
That was long.
That was a long time.
You'd also be breathing on each other.
Yeah.
Through your nose.
Well, when you, as an adolescent, before you had ever made out, did you not wonder about the mechanics of all this?
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
I mean.
It is gross.
Like, it is.
It is gross, but there's nowhere.
I mean, I suppose now it would be very easy to Google something like that.
How to make out? Yeah. Wow, do you think teens do that i really hope i would i think the i saw this one instructional
video on how to make out and you cut a hole in a grapefruit and it sounds hilarious but uh because
i don't i don't even know where like i I'm sure I just dove in without having any proper instruction.
I think I kissed myself in the mirror.
Yeah, sure.
Practice.
Kissing your elbow?
I'm just going to Google how to make out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because Google now will give you like a paragraph answer.
Yeah.
Right.
You definitely, okay, so this is from vixen daily
this is the paragraph they've chosen vixen daily uh wife of carson um not bad you definitely want
to still move slowly remember fast movement is the enemy of a good makeout okay try kissing them
on the corner of their mouth and then moving your way down his jawline and into his neck.
It'll send a shiver down his spine.
Now, see, that's a thing that I think girls had access to with a 17 magazine or something.
But there was no supplement in Kids National Geographic.
Not that girls couldn't read that, but Hot Rods for Boys.
Sports Illustrated?
Yeah.
Owl magazine.
Wasn't that a thing? What would a teenage boy read?
Yeah, that's what I was thinking.
Like, hot...
Transworld skateboarding?
Yeah, exactly.
There's nothing in Thrasher about how to make that.
Tony Hawk tells you how he...
French kisses?
I don't picture him being a big French kisser, but...
Now I have an overheard.
Good.
Here's the thing. On on the ferry i don't know
where i don't know where these people come from oh oh here comes racist graham don't let me get
off on a rant here but i don't see a lot of uh white people with dreadlocks in my day-to-day
life but i guarantee you you'll see them on the ferry i don't know where they're going to or coming but you know what they're always on the move
and i admire them for that always getting evicted
in a constant state of eviction um but there was a guy uh he you they have these little like uh
work desks on the ferry that you like plug your phone
into or whatever and so i was like phone in earbuds in just waiting it out and uh there
was another guy and he's the dreads and had a uh like a crazy like ornate walking stick
uh-huh hey what's the age of this guy?
I think he was like my age.
Um.
Was he a tree creature?
He,
he definitely wanted me to think he was a tree creature.
What are the tree creatures called?
Ents.
Okay,
cool.
Yeah.
It comes up in a lot of crossword puzzles.
Um,
so,
uh,
like he was started knocking on the desk to get my attention because i think he didn't know i had earbuds in but with his hand yeah with his with his crazy staff uh yeah yeah if i'm carrying
a staff around it's uh what's doing everything let me get that for you on the elevator uh
so i take out the earbud.
He goes, oh, sorry, I didn't realize you had earbuds in.
And I went, yeah.
And then, yeah, exactly.
And then he goes, literally, I just found out there is a tool video I haven't seen.
And then I was like, and there was no, do you want to watch it with me?
It was just, he said that and then i then then i
just put the ear do you think you were listening to tool or do you think like maybe you could pull
it up on your phone yeah i i don't know what the next part of that was going to be oh sure
i've seen all of the perfect circles videos but then the two videos At least back in the 90s
They were all spooky stop motion animation
Sort of California Raisin style
Like spooky California Raisin
Yeah they were our California Raisin
Do you think maybe there's a new one he hasn't seen?
I don't know
I mean I really didn't want to ask
Any follow up questions
You sure didn't.
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
Anyway, so.
The fairy, as you remember.
Yeah.
Speaking of, I've been doing a lot of crosswords lately.
Oh, yeah.
Ant has been showing up from time to time.
Ska has been in a lot of them.
Okay.
Ska, like the music?
Yeah, usually it's Reggae's Cousin.
That's the clue.
Reggae's Cousin that's crashing here for a couple weeks.
And then the other one, a weird one showed up, and it was like, I forget what the clue was,
but it meant to turn around, and it was three letters.
It was a U-E.
Oh.
How do you spell that?
Exactly.
U-I-E. Oh. U-I-E.
Oh.
U-I-E.
What?
No.
I mean.
Next time I play Scrabble with my grandmother.
Yeah.
She's going to challenge it and she's going to lose a turn.
Wow.
There's no way that's going to be in her Scrabble dictionary.
We also have overheards sent in into us from people around the world if you want
to send one into us you can send it into spy at maximum fun.org and uh this first one this is
from jonathan k from los angeles hi uh this is an overheard from over 25 years ago. So this is a prime vintage.
80s, 90s, early 90s.
Early 90s.
The year was 1991.
Okay.
You know, Terminator 2 isn't the year.
Sure.
Jurassic Park was big.
Well, not yet.
Maybe the book.
Yeah, sure.
Teenage fan club's bandwagon-esque was Spin's album of the year.
Edging out Nirvana's Nevermind.
bandwagon-esque was Spin's album of the year,
edging out Nirvana's Nevermind.
And this is,
Jonathan Kaye was 15 years old and was at the movie theater with my brother
to see the movie Hook.
Aha, starring Charlie Korsmo.
The only other people in the theater
were two women in their 40s
sitting a few seats back from us.
In the film, Captain Hook kidnaps Peter's children from their home in London and takes them to Never Never Land.
So Tinkerbell sprinkles Peter with pixie dust so the two can fly.
As Peter is flying over the ocean, the pixie dust wears off and he falls out of the sky and into the water.
Looks like he's about to drown, but some mermaids reach him and breathe air into his lungs.
Looks like he's about to drown, but some mermaids reach him and breathe air into his lungs.
At this point, upon seeing the mermaids save Peter from drowning, one of the women behind me snorted and said loudly, yeah, right.
Pretty good.
Pretty good.
I mean, I don't remember.
I remember Bangarang.
And the food fight.
The food fight.
And that's about it.
And Rufio, Rufio, Rufio. Yeah, that's right.
Rufio, Rufio.
I had a friend who, speaking of teenage make-outs, said hook.
Took a girl on a date to hook.
Yeah.
In theaters.
Having already seen it before and said, I'll take you on a date,
but the deal is we have to kiss
every time someone says the word hook.
Because there's a scene where, like, hook is chanted.
Hook, hook, hook.
You're not going to get any 10-second kisses that way.
Man, this episode has been brought to you by Sneaky Teeth
And the Korean
Oh yeah
A couple episodes ago with Ryan Belville
We were talking about Dick Tracy
And that kid, Charlie Korsmo
Yeah
Was the kid in Dick Tracy
I've since IMDB'd him
He was only ever in seven movies But but he had a great little run.
Was he also in Hook?
He was in Hook.
Wow.
He was in Dick Tracy, the aforementioned.
He was in What About Bob?
Yes.
Wow.
And later he was in Can't Hardly Wait.
Oh, that's right.
He was the nerd.
Yeah.
This beer has gone bad.
No one drank the beer.
Yeah.
Yeah. nerd yeah this beer has gone bad this beer the no one drank the beer yeah uh yeah he's like uh who's that guy that was in he was in godfather godfather 2 he's the john kazal is that his name
oh yeah he's our generation's john kazal he's still alive i think yeah i mean if you call that but this next one comes from Adam M.
Portland.
Adam M. in Portland.
I was at a pizza place in Portland.
So this is a full transcript of a fight, basically.
At the table next to us, there are two guys and a lady in their late 20s.
Two guys, a girl, pizza place.
We all noticed that there seemed to be a point
with quite a bit of talking
and lots of animated movement
that indicated some sort of argument.
So this is the first guy, guy with glasses.
Look, no one meant that as an affront to your veganism.
Guy with soul patch, long hair, and sleeve tattoos
and presumed vegan
stares silently for a minute, grabs
the red pepper shakers and begins to
unscrew it. So, troubles
a-brewin'.
Lady, very concerned, oh no
don't. Soul patch vegan
dumps the entire red pepper shakers
content into his mouth
and defiantly starts
chewing. Guy with
glasses storms off at the front door.
Soul Patch Vegan continues chewing and begins to start swallowing the pepper.
Glasses Guy and Lady comes back, sit down, have another heated exchange.
Very heated now, I bet.
All of a sudden, Glasses Guy stands up, gets closer and points his finger in Soul Patch's face.
And yells, I'm trying to calm you down, you big baby.
Quit being such a pussy.
Soul Patch thinks for a moment, slowly reaches out, grabs the guy's glasses with two fingers and drops them on the table.
Then everyone storms out, leaving the Soul Patch guy to choke down the rest of the pepper in his mouth.
Now who's the big baby?
Yeah.
That is like, wow. I guess it's vegan yeah oh was that yeah he's
like well i'll just eat these red pepper flakes then i think that might be the uh equivalent of
going into starbucks and just ordering that's the vegan equivalent you have to let them eat the red pepper flakes. Oh, no.
Oh, he's doing it.
Oh, no.
I don't ever.
Do you put those on?
No.
Yeah, sometimes.
Do you ever, like, when you're at a pizza slice place and there's somebody, like, putting so many things on a pizza that you're like, I don't think you like pizza.
Yeah.
Like, you seem to be dumping a lot of stuff on the thing that's the best thing.
Yeah. Yeah Like he seemed to be dumping a lot of stuff on the thing that's the best thing Yeah, although I will say that in Toronto, if you're getting a slice of pizza, there's not as many available Accoutrements
As there are here
Oh, I see
What else is there?
There's like a white sauce, usually of some kind
Yeah, like a blue cheese thing, or then parmesan
Yeah
Oregano
I don't get why you would put parmesan on
something that's covered in cheese.
Because it's
not like you're putting shredded
parmesan. You're putting a powdered parmesan
Yeah, on top of
like perfectly good cheese. Very nice cheese.
Yeah.
But yeah, I don't. I want to have some
you know, stick to my teeth.
I don't want to have to blow on it.
Yeah.
This last one comes from Joe S. in Orlando, Florida.
I was finishing up an install Saturday when life threw me a little treat.
What do you do for a living, Joe?
Don't know.
What do you install?
It being the weekend, kids and people were out and about.
I was walking back to the van when i watched this kid
on his bike slowly pedal right into the back of my work truck he was looking down at his phone
and cruising up and down the street his head went thunk off the bad door i said are you okay buddy
meanwhile i'm trying not to laugh and pee myself he turned his head while rubbing the knot he just made for himself and said ah that hurt
i gotta stop doing this that's when i heard his friend from like three houses down yell
danny did it again
danny oh man you old lug yeah you screwball character you oh boy why yeah seeing somebody uh especially like
like walk into a pole or something where you know it's not like it's not huge damage but it's
maximum yeah hilarious yeah didn't we saw we remember we were at a hockey game and when we
were walking out there was somebody walking backwards talking to their friend.
And you could tell that they thought they were like doing, they were keeping a pretty good pace and then just walked right into a tree.
Yeah, pretty good.
Side note, do you think since the White House, since Nixon installed bowling alley in the White House, every president has had to go to bowling university.
Oh, somebody, you know, in his inner circle.
In their first hundred days.
Yeah.
Brunswick.
Brunswick has a red phone.
In addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls.
If you want to call us.
Oh boy, do I have the number for you. I know it by heart is the thing.
And I'm going to say it for you because I know it so well.
I know it starts with a 1 followed by 844-779-7631.
That is 1. Ugh.
SpyPod 1. Like these people have.
Hey, Dave, Graham, and guest. This is Doug from St. Augustine, Florida, calling in with an overheard.
I just caught the tail end of a conversation between my wife and my four-year-old daughter,
where my four-year-old daughter said,
Can I please get a pet kitty cat?
I promise I won't throw it down the stairs.
All right, thanks, guys.
I mean, don't make promises you can't keep.
I've definitely thought about it.
That's not a big deal for a cat.
You can huck a cat and the cat
will land.
Yeah.
They got nine lives.
Cat size.
Each and every one of them is running wild.
Black and black.
Those lyrics out of context of the song what is that I'm back in black yeah I hit the sack gone so long I'm glad to be back I'm cutting loose from the noose from the noose
that's kept me hanging around I'm living on the fly because it's getting me high I drive a hearse
because I'll never die Forget the curse
Cause I'll never die
Oh forget the hearse
I thought it was
I drive a hearse
Oh
Oh drive a hearse
Cause I'll never
Cause I'll never die
Forget the hearse
Cause I'll never die
Oh that makes way more sense
Oh yeah
I've got nine lives
Cat's eyes
Each and every one of them
Is running wild
Yes I am back
You can picture an English teacher
Reading these lyrics
To the students
Being like
Yeah
You think that that's Shakespeare, but it's not.
And then they sit backwards in a chair.
It's ACDC.
Did you know that they have two lead singers?
I was listening to the radio the other day,
and they were playing the new song from Jamiroquai.
I was like, how's Jamiroquai. I was like,
how's Jamiroquai
still around?
It's not like
ACDC
where they could
replace a lead singer
who died.
If the lead singer
from Jamiroquai died,
that's the band, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
But he's not dead, is he?
No.
Oh, okay.
I thought you were
telling me that Jamiroquai
was dead.
I thought it would be
really funny
if like,
it's Jamiroquai
but with, you know,
Terrence Trent Darby singing. Yeah, it's, it is, but it's always weird funny if, like, it's Jamiroquai, but with, you know, Terrence Trent Darby singing.
Yeah, it's, it is, but it's always weird when you see, like, a band that it's a band from a long, long time ago, and it's maybe the bassist is the original member.
Right.
It's a bunch of young guys, and you're like, I guess I just saw Triumph.
Here's your next phone call.
Hey, SPY, this is Daniel calling from Davis, California.
I am calling an overheard slash overseen.
I was walking behind my workplace to get to my car to grab something out of my trunk.
And I was walking to the car.
There is a group of about four or five guys in sort of a camp with some carts and just like stuff they found
and they were listening to a
CD player or MPD player
or something and what they were listening to
which was broadcasting to everybody in the street
was I believe 1984
on audiobook, the George Orwell
book and then I went
to my car and I came back
and that same group of guys was now
standing and dancing to Where's the Love by the Black Eyed Peas.
I thought it was a fitting, lovely combination.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
I mean, people killing.
1984 got you down.
Here's the cure.
That was their, was that their first big one with Fergie?
Where's the Love? Yeah. No, wasn't that with Justin Timberlake? Yeah, but it was with Fergie. With Fergie with Fergie? Where's the Love?
Yeah.
No, wasn't that with Justin Timberlake?
Yeah, but it was with Fergie.
Was she also Fergie Ferg?
It was their first Fergie song.
Really?
If I'm not very much mistaken.
No, I don't think that I knew much about Black Eyed Peas before the arrival of Fergie Ferg.
They would have the occasional female singer, Esthero.
Oh, yeah.. Oh yeah.
Hethero.
Hard to say. If she dies,
no more Estero.
Can't just have the bassist from Estero.
Here's your final phone call of the year.
Hey Dave
Graham and possible guests. This is Aaron
from Arizona. I
have an overheard. I was walking down the street and I passed
these three girls who were dropping off their friend at her apartment
and I didn't really hear their conversation.
All I got was the last little snippet, which was instead of them
saying goodbye to each other, I heard them
yell to each other,
Ratatouille Chef Linguini
Cousin.
So that's going to be rattling around in my brain
for the rest of my life.
Ratatouille Chef Linguini Cousin.
Cousin.
That sounds like something an alien
would be trying to be a cool teen.
This is slang, right?
Well, I've applied some linguistic modulator.
Yeah, that was always my thinking when I watched a sci-fi movie
and they would have, like, a translator or, like,
but that it was always such a clean translation
that it was never, like, close to the word that you want.
Because even between languages on our planet,
we can't get a perfect translation.
Exactly.
Anyways, any aspiring sci-fi writers,
that's a fun little wrinkle you could throw in your screenplay.
Redatory chef linguine cousin.
Well, that brings us to the end of the episode.
Craig.
Yes.
Where can people find you online if they need more Craig Anderson?
You could find my Twitter.
Our Instagram is at a million Craigs.
Now, why?
I remember the last time I was here, asked me this and i still don't have a
good answer okay what imagine if there was a million of me now you're you have one of my
favorite tweets all of all time which i just it oh i think i i might know what this is it uh it
really hit home for me uh no pun intended and that tweet was i watch moneyball every day yeah i've yeah it's
the movie i've seen the most for sure it's always it's not on netflix anymore though is it
oh maybe not it was for a long time and it's just so easy to watch. Like it's always a possibility. Yeah. It's never
too intense.
Nope.
Right.
Yeah,
it is,
it is a
nice even keel.
Yeah,
it's got a nice
soothing score.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Little girl plays
that song guitar.
Mm-hmm.
I gotta see it.
I think I've only
seen it the one time.
Enjoyed it though.
Well,
it's not on Netflix now.
Yeah,
that's true.
Wait for it to come back.
And you also, people can see you live in Toronto.
Yes, I perform and work at the Bad Dog Theater Company, which is at Bloor and Ossington.
If you want to come see me do improv.
Yeah.
And if you haven't seen Craig do improv, you should.
Yeah.
It's a real joy.
Or sometimes when I'm here
I'll do it with the Sunday service
Yeah
Is that what you did this week?
No
Oh
Well thank you so much
For being our guest
Oh thanks for having me
And as always
Rigatoni
Ratatouille
Ratatouille
Chef Linguini
Cousin
And thank you out there
Again
For donating During the Max Fun Drive. And thank you out there, again, for donating during the MaxFunDrive.
Totally.
And if you like the show, head over to MaximumFun.org.
Check out the blog.
Recap of this episode.
Pictures and videos relating to the content of this podcast.
Wildflower by Skylark, probably.
California Raisins.
Skylark, probably.
California Raisins.
Estero.
Estero?
Singing with, what are they called?
Black Eyed Peas.
Estero was very good.
Yeah. Do you remember her?
Was she Look at That Girl?
Yeah.
Yeah, I like that song.
It's so pretty.
Yeah.
I wonder who she is.
You'll have to tune in next week to find out.
I think she did some work on 808s and Heartbreak.
Hmm.
Well, and you know what?
While you're on the internet,
go check out where Estero's at now.
Yeah.
And thanks a lot for listening to the podcast.
If you like the show, tell your friends and come on back next week
for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself.