Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 472 - Craig Anderson

Episode Date: April 3, 2017

Actor and comedian Craig Anderson returns to talk Bowling University, Real Housewives of Toronto, and David Foster....

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 472 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who I watched him as he was holding a baby and he was making coffee and nothing slows this guy down, Mr. Dave Shumka. Yeah, I'm a real Mr. Mom.
Starting point is 00:00:40 So that was a movie in the 1980s. The premise was a man raising children Yeah Oh wow And then they were like What about three men raising a child? Doesn't it Wait a second
Starting point is 00:00:54 But before we get to our guests this week We wanted to thank everyone who donated As a part of this year's Max Fun Drive Yeah It always warms our hearts To know that there are people out there That want us to continue this jackassery. Yeah, you are winds beneath wings, specifically the wind and specifically our wings. And our guest today, very funny comedian.
Starting point is 00:01:19 Got something to say about Mr. Mom or Three Men and a Baby. Very funny comedian. You may recognize him as the voice of our business theme he is a favorite here on stop podcasting yourself mr craig anderson hi guys hi craig let's break down what do you what do you want to say about mr mom doesn't he isn't isn't he like iron clothes with like a fax machine or like it isnx machine? There's a lot of physical gags of him using dad business stuff to do mom chores. Yeah, I think he irons some clothes with a fax machine. That sounds right. Did we maybe put a coffee filter on his baby instead of a diaper?
Starting point is 00:01:57 Oh, for sure. You feel like I may be mixing it up with multiplicity. Oh, yeah, multiplicity. So does he sometimes get dumber? That's multiplicity? Oh, yeah. Multiplicity. So does he sometimes get dumber? That's multiplicity. Yeah, but I feel like a dumb guy would change a baby in a fax machine. Should we get to know us? Haven't we?
Starting point is 00:02:16 Okay. Get to know us. Craig. Yes. It's been a while. It has been. Many years. Yeah, many years. Babies have been born
Starting point is 00:02:28 In that time Yeah before You Last time you were here I didn't have any babies You and me were kind of We were known as the pussy posse Yeah you
Starting point is 00:02:34 Yeah The viper room was still hot Yeah The toxic twins here So What's new? I'm in Toronto Okay, can I stop you right there?
Starting point is 00:02:50 Yeah How about something with like Uh, who'd be the right Like Leonardo DiCaprio raising a baby And he thought he was the diaper room Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah Pretty good But he keeps getting dumber
Starting point is 00:03:01 Okay, you're in Toronto Yes in Toronto doing comedy there And I've been there for five years And do you love it? Yeah I like it Which part do you Do you like Toronto Or the comedy
Starting point is 00:03:19 I like the comedy there and the people there I mean coming from Vancouver It is sort of an ugly city I like the comedy there and the people there. Yeah. I mean, coming from Vancouver, it is sort of an ugly city. I like the, I find the brick buildings there to be very charming. There are a lot of old Canada type things. Yeah, no, it doesn't have our natural beauty. Indeed. But it's.
Starting point is 00:03:37 It has inner beauty. Oh, it has its own, it has its own thing. Yeah. We went to Chicago a few weeks ago and I'm always confused going to cities where there's actual things to do. Yeah, yeah. Because people visit here, and we tell them, oh, you got to hike a thing or climb a thing. Go see a whale. Or rent a tandem bicycle.
Starting point is 00:04:01 Yeah, what's the tandem bicycle scene like in Toronto? Never seen one Really? Yeah That's sad It's a perfect city for cycling It is well except for the street car tracks are Oh are those
Starting point is 00:04:12 That's what I fear that as an idea of cycling Because they're like they're cut into the road Yeah And they're the exact size as a bike tire Yeah Yeah Do you cycle in Toronto? No.
Starting point is 00:04:25 No. I won't cycle here. I'm too afraid. Yeah, me too. Yeah. Yeah. It's funny that you have street cars which are cut and we have like trolley wires
Starting point is 00:04:33 which are hung. And so that's a lot. Yeah. That's a lot like my dating profile. A lot like your dating profile. Now, the last time I saw you was in Toronto. I just happened to go to a restaurant where you were working, a bar. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:54 And it was above a bowling alley. And you told me that your position there, you were a barback and a bowling technician. Yeah. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I put that on my resume. I invented the term bowling technician. Oh, okay. But it was,, whoa, whoa. I put that on my resume. I invented the term bowling technician. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:05:07 But it was... Yeah, the bowling alley was part of the bar. It was like a sexy downtown... Everyone listening in Toronto knows this place. Yeah. What are we talking?
Starting point is 00:05:16 Five pin, ten pin? Ten pin. Oh, wow. Nine lanes. That's 90 pins. Yeah. Yeah. So the big...
Starting point is 00:05:24 With the holes in the bar oh yeah yeah yeah uh and i like the bowling machines just break all the time what are the bowling machines the big lebowski's and uh your fred flintstones yeah you're gonna be they're gonna be made by brunswick probably oh the last name in bowling oh i love like it just just industry specific brand names i love otis for their work yes with elevators yep and schindler for escalators and uh what's the company that makes like all of the zippers is it yykk ykk on your zipper um uh yeah so i would go like behind the bowling alley there's a little like walkway for you the little bowling protects bowling monkey guys go back there and then
Starting point is 00:06:11 pin monkeys pin jockeys pin monkey yeah uh so i'd uh do small repairs on the brunswick uh pin setter gs 9000 is that really it or do you make that up i think so um what are the small repairs? Is it screw driving something that came loose? Yeah, the pins just always get jammed and something or the little feed belt would fall off. Or also
Starting point is 00:06:35 you could hide back there because there weren't any cameras and the management never went back there. That'd be the first place they would put a camera. Just take a seat. And just listen to the soft sounds of people. Honk, honk, honk.
Starting point is 00:06:52 Gutterball. And there was the head pin monkey, which wasn't me. Head pin. The silverback pin monkey. Got to go to a bowling university. Got to go to Bowling University? Got to?
Starting point is 00:07:08 I would love to have gone. Oh, he didn't. No, he got it. He didn't go there before getting the job. No, you are required. One person has to have gone to Bowling University at, like, I think it's in. Are you thinking of Bowling Green University? No.
Starting point is 00:07:20 Oh, the shutdown after that massacre. Oh, that terrible, terrible tragedy. No, I think Bowling Green was somewhere else And who was the Vancouver Grizzly Who went to Bowling Green Anthony McDaniels Yeah that sounds right So what's Bowling University
Starting point is 00:07:38 I didn't get to go but it was in like Is it a four year two year It's like a week but you have to go By yourself to like like North Dakota or something. Oh, really? Some weird small town where the Brunswick campus is. I love it. And they throw bowling balls up in the air instead of graduation caps.
Starting point is 00:07:59 And you go for a week and... Study the machines? Yeah. Oh, wow. So what are the parts of the machines there's the pin setting thing yeah that uh what's the biggest problem one of those can get uh i um setting the wrong pins putting the pins upside down usually like the the mechanism that like scoots the pins back up into the top the scooter yeah the scooter would get just jammed all the time and well the
Starting point is 00:08:24 worst thing that could happen to you as a pin monkey is if you were down there doing some repairs and you had forgotten to turn off the ultimate master safety switch, then that thing could come down and crush you, which happened a bunch of times. Oh no!
Starting point is 00:08:39 You get crushed with pins? Or just with the machine? Like the arm that like, yeah. And then the next time someone bowls, you are like, you've been chopped into 10 pin-shaped crates. Yeah. Like an itchy and scratchy. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:54 Or just some of the pins are just covered in blood. Yeah. And then I guess the ball return, is there any problem with that? That was actually, that was the worst because there's like the long tube that goes from the back to where you receive your ball yeah and if it gets jammed in there you have to like go down the alley and like rip up all the floor and like so the balls out there's no more scientific method than just literally opening it up and like moving the ball crude mechanical device which is sort of satisfying to fix,
Starting point is 00:09:25 but sometimes awful. And so most of the things that can go wrong are jammings. Yes, all jams. Yeah. It's a lot like a printer. Yeah. Yes. And did you have at this bowling alley
Starting point is 00:09:37 that thing that dries your hands? No, we didn't have those. Yeah. I feel like that's like a very, it's a particular era have those. Yeah. I feel like that's like a very, it's a particular era of bowling. Yeah. The ones that are at where you bowl. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:50 Like you press something and just like a little, just a very little air would come out and dry your hands. Also, there was a wet ball thing. So you could wet or dry your hands. Oh. Like a little sponge or something? It was like a ball that was half in the table, and I guess there was water underneath it, and when you spin the
Starting point is 00:10:10 ball, it would like, the surface would be wet. Like playing golden tea? Yes, exactly. But wet golden tea. Yeah. Wet golden tea. So you could be, yeah, a wet bowler or a dry bowler. Well, because they have that at, like, if you go to a government office, like the passport office, the person behind the counter has like a little spongy thing that they touch.
Starting point is 00:10:32 Oh, man. Your skin must get so dry. I wonder if it's a specific government regulation sponge or do they just, everybody just freestyles it. BYO sponge. How long did you work at this establishment? Like two years, year and a half, two years. Did you become like a better bowler? No.
Starting point is 00:10:54 Did you ever bowl? Sort of. You get free bowling. So you're like, I guess I should bowl after my shift. Bowling's more expensive than you think. Yeah, that's true. It's like 60 bucks an hour because it's right in downtown Toronto. Yeah, you should have gone on a lot of first dates.
Starting point is 00:11:10 Okay, I did go on like one date there or I brought my girlfriend at the time down there. I was like, it'd be great. We'll go bowling after my shift. And when there's only two of you bowling, that means you're throwing a ball like every 30 seconds. There's no time to chat. Yeah, there's no time to chat yeah there's no time to chat or eat your food or drink your beer and then like within 10 minutes your arm hurts so
Starting point is 00:11:31 bad because you're like throwing this huge ball yeah no not great no so uh some of the guys that work there though that like were were like hot dogger bowlers that would hang around after and do trick shots and stuff. There's trick shots? Yeah, like big curves and an opposite direction curve. And these guys, were they cut and hung? Oh, yeah. Was this a place that would have a league? No.
Starting point is 00:12:02 This was only recreation. Yeah, it was too nightclub-by sexy downtown for for regulars have you ever gone to a bowling alley accidentally when there's like league league players no oh boy boy do you look like you just fell off the turn of truck like they are so good i've gone to certain things where i didn't expect that there would be ringers there. Oh, yeah. Or a couple weeks ago, I took Margo swimming, and we were just in the kiddie pool, but there's a whole big pool there. And they were doing lifeguard training.
Starting point is 00:12:33 Oh, man. And so it was just like us, the two of us, and 50 people, like a third of whom were pretending they were injured. And the rest were like helping them and blowing whistles and stuff. Safest place to be. Safest pool in the world. Well, maybe not. Maybe if they're not good lifeguards. Well, I guess so. It was something called Bowling University.
Starting point is 00:12:55 They have a swim team? I wonder if they have lifeguards. If that's part of Bowling University. Yeah, probably. I mean every bowling alley I've been to has a lifeguard uh i only played the 10 pin only uh like a handful of times well it is a handful yeah uh yeah no i remember growing up i used to just play five pin where you just kind of can whip a little grenade down there yeah and i feel like those pins were maybe on a wire.
Starting point is 00:13:26 Like they weren't being set. So they didn't have like a complicated machinery. Yeah. Yeah. And every time we talk about bowling, Americans listening are like, what is five pin? Is it not a. It's a purely Canadian thing, I think. And then I remember the bowling alley I went to as a kid had this uh like plaque on the wall that showed what
Starting point is 00:13:46 bowling pins looked like regionally so like regionally there were different styles of bowling like how in different parts of the city there's different color uh fire hydrants yeah yeah yeah it was but out in the east coast they had these crazy tall ones that uh that kind of defied logic they look like something from like like victorian england or something the halifax slender pin yeah yeah it was it was it wasn't uh shapely it just was like a tube anyways oh i'm so sad you said you got free bowling because i just came up with a good joke about getting a three-finger disc. Well, you still got it in there. Okay.
Starting point is 00:14:30 And why did you pirate ways with this establishment? What happened? Terrible question. That's like a job. Too much time sitting in the back of a... No, I booked a granola bar commercial and I had enough money to get by for like a month And I was like, see you later See you later, job
Starting point is 00:14:50 I remember that granola commercial Oh yeah, you were talking to people on the street Yeah They fudged that Yeah, I could tell So I didn't actually get to travel across Canada I just asked one person in downtown Toronto How they liked a quinoa bar
Starting point is 00:15:09 And then they cut in a bunch of people From like you know The prairies Just a microphone sticking in the shot But why would they even have to do that Unless they were standing in front of something iconic Couldn't you just shot that all in downtown Toronto I guess I think they tried to put it in front of something iconic couldn't you just shot that all in downtown toronto i guess oh yeah they i think they tried to put it in front of iconic stuff i guess unless somebody
Starting point is 00:15:29 was holding what a different pin from a certain yeah yeah dead giveaway i want to see where did you find out about these pins this is at the bowling alley there was like a big thing on the wall had a map of canada and then showed the different styles of bowling bins i want to go i want to work i don't want to work at a bowling alley but i want to see i think i did at some the catalog that you get of like what kind of stuff you can put on the wall there must be a bowling specific brunswick catalog we have all these brunswick posters oh there's got to be uh because every industry like i remember being in a pizza place and they had a stack of a magazine that was called pizza with an exclamation point. I love it.
Starting point is 00:16:09 And then you just, it was just like different ovens. And like, these are the new, what are those wooden things that you put in to pull the pizza out? Yeah, paddle. Yeah, pizza paddles. And, you know, some sexy spread of a sauce. Yeah. and uh you know some sexy spread of a a sauce yeah uh but yeah like there must be a bowling industry yeah what what determines which magazines make it to 7-eleven shelves because frankly there's a lot of hot rod magazines that do. Yeah, yeah, you're right. And I see maybe three hot rods a year. And I think I would read a bowling,
Starting point is 00:16:49 or at least flip through it if I saw it in a store. Somebody told me that there's a specific, it's based out of the States, and it's called, I think it's called Bowling AM or something. And it's just a radio station that only plays in bowling i'm sure and like you can send uh like uh this goes out to christy uh you know whose birthday lane six yeah yeah what are bowling songs though why does it oh that's a good question what are the best bowling Stuck in the middle with you, I feel like. Yeah, sure. Gutter lovers. Gutter lovers.
Starting point is 00:17:29 Hand blower. Yeah. Oh, blowing in the wind. Sure. Seven-tenths foot in my heart. Oh, baby. Waka-waka. Hoopity-dink.
Starting point is 00:17:40 Let's see. What else is a good bowling song? Hit me with your best shot, I feel. Yep. Oh, yeah. Any you want to add? Something to do with ball weights. The 12th pounder. One step over the line.
Starting point is 00:18:00 Is that something? One toke over the line. Yeah, but you could bowl. You could weird Al it up It could be about bowling I'm the weird Al of bowling What area of Toronto do you call home? Right downtown?
Starting point is 00:18:19 Pretty close to downtown I live in Koreatown Koreatown Yes And What's that like? I've never been I don't think I've been in Koreatown Koreatown Yes And uh What's that like? I've never been I don't think I've been in Koreatown
Starting point is 00:18:28 Chinatown Would you know you were in Koreatown? It's not very It's quick You could blink and miss it Yeah Oh maybe Around Bloor and
Starting point is 00:18:35 Does it announce itself Or does it sneak up on you Like those sneaky Koreans I like to make up a A racist thing And then I can't be called racist. Because you just, because you're the first one who. Maybe I had a really good like burrito in Koreatown. Yes, yes.
Starting point is 00:18:57 Is that possible? Tacos El Asador is right in the heart of Koreatown, of course. Sure. Yeah, that's just down the street from me. Because, like, oftentimes I'll be in Toronto in the summer, and sometimes I'll see a super long lineup, and I'll be like, what cool place is this? And it's always a taco place or an ice cream place.
Starting point is 00:19:19 Yeah, a lot of ice cream. There's a really stupid place there that has a lineup, and I don't really know what it is, but it's like the poop cafe. And it just has the poop emoji is the sign. Right. And I think it's candy that looks like poop. And there's like a line around the block.
Starting point is 00:19:36 Because we had an idea for a bathroom themed restaurant. Yeah, yeah. Everything would be like you were in a public bathroom. But then people wrote us and were like, this is an actual thing in Taiwan or something. Yeah, that's right. Those sneaky Taiwanese stealing our ideas. So, so, uh, you, uh, have never been in this place, but there's always a lineup? Yes.
Starting point is 00:19:58 And like, why, why? I don't. It's so that people can take photos. Yeah, it seems like a novelty entirely. I wonder what the, like, what's the plan with that? Like where,
Starting point is 00:20:07 you know, it's a couple of guys open a cereal restaurant. Are they like, we'll just get a couple of years out of this and then we'll, we'll be on a few blogs. Yeah. Well, there was another thing I think in Toronto,
Starting point is 00:20:18 I never went, but like someone recreated the, uh, the Seinfeld diner. Oh yeah. And you could go eat there in like a replica of monks yeah yeah i can see that and they did well they did like a couple days of before the uh i'd like all over north america they did the gilmore girls diner all over is that is that i've never seen uh gilmore, is that like the main setting? That's a central location there
Starting point is 00:20:46 In Hobbler's Knob or whatever Gobbler's Knob That's a different move Different thing altogether But it's, and then I don't know where this was It was in LA, but I don't know what it was I saw people posting pictures from it
Starting point is 00:21:02 Someone set up a video store That only carried jerry mcguire oh yeah yeah i saw that and that's like that's that's like more like an art yeah installation but it's like yeah i don't know i guess if you can come up with something that enough people will be like have you been to this what do we have here well but that twin peaks theme bar that was kind of like a novel is it still a twin peaks themed bar i mean it is but it's just now it's just a bar that people go to okay i think that was enough to like and then the cat the cat cafe right do they have one of those in toronto i don't know maybe it seems gross i don't understand why people would want
Starting point is 00:21:41 to go people like cat yeah Not everyone thinks cats are gross. But, you know, like I like goats, but I don't think I'd want to go eat a bagel next to one. Well, maybe I would. Goat deli? Yeah, sure. Yeah, goat deli. Yeah. The more I'm saying, the more it's growing up. I would definitely go to goat deli.
Starting point is 00:22:02 Would it be goat themed food or just goats are there? Yeah, just goats are there. Okay, so you don't have to eat a can. Oh, I thought you meant, like, the food would be made of goats. Like goat roti. Goat protein? No, goat roti. Oh.
Starting point is 00:22:18 Goat protein. That's a very specific, like, post-workout powder. A little-known fact, those GoPro cameras are short for goat protein. Goat protein. Oh, yeah. That's how I maintain this ripped artifice. Goat protein. Have you been to anything like that?
Starting point is 00:22:40 Because Toronto seems like a couple of people could get together and buy a storefront and turn it into a theater. It feels like that kind of city. Yeah, there's not a lot of red tape as far as starting a place. Yeah. What would be yours? Do you have any ideas? I mean, other than goat protein. So goat protein's out.
Starting point is 00:23:03 Goat protein's out. I want three new ideas uh you know i think probably something to do with the california raisins okay sure so you go in and you can you can have raisin bran uh-huh a raisin bread are you served by people in raisin costumes yep and we only play the california race sure or the songs inspired by the california not the songs that inspired them but um craig what about a restaurant that all the furniture was breakaway furniture yes oh that's great at the end of every meal you could body slip someone through a table yeah yeah that's really good everyone would be safe would throw someone through the front window.
Starting point is 00:23:46 Smash your glasses. Oh, no, that's a good one. I don't have one. Bye. That's really... Oh, man. And then, like... Oh, you know what? My idea would be, like, a 50s diner.
Starting point is 00:23:59 Like, burgers, fries, shakes, the whole caboodle. Maybe have a picture of Elvis Somewhere on the wall Oh no In my religion We do not depict Elvis You know what's weird I don't think I've ever been To like a restaurant
Starting point is 00:24:16 That's like a religious Themed restaurant But I bet you that Would get a lot of press If there was just like It was a restaurant That was like a Jesus restaurant Have you been to the Sikh temple that serves free food?
Starting point is 00:24:28 Yeah, I went there like the first year I lived in Vancouver and it blew my mind because they do that every day. It's part of their religion. Yeah. Do you know that? No. Like, so you can go, it would be the same in Toronto. You go to the Sikh temple. They just have free dinner for anybody.
Starting point is 00:24:46 You just have to line up. And the rule, I think, is that you just have to, whatever you take, you have to finish. Right. And. You can't take it with you. Yeah, you can't. You can't take it with you. It's just very.
Starting point is 00:24:57 Filling up a garbage bag. Yeah, exactly. Mashed potatoes. And, yeah, a friend of mine was like, yeah, let's just go to the Sikh temple for dinner. And I was like, oh, this is going to be weird. Like I thought that it was like. A big ceremony. No, but it's not.
Starting point is 00:25:13 You just go and you eat. Just have food. Yeah. And it's pretty pleasant. That's cool. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know what a religious meal would be.
Starting point is 00:25:21 Other, like in a restaurant. Fish and loaves. Oh, sure. meal would be other like in a restaurant you know fish and loaves oh sure some kind of like uh communion themed restaurant yeah yeah yeah these are you can just uh you serve water but price it as wine yeah real nice and the menu could be like two uh tablets and you open them up and they're like commandments. I'm already really working on the design of this place. Oh, yeah. And you can never be like,
Starting point is 00:25:49 I'll have what she's having because you can't covet what your neighbor has. At the end of the service, you just flood the restaurant to make everyone leave. Yeah. I'll have the golden calf.
Starting point is 00:26:06 Yeah, and then you can have everybody's in the, you know, the... Robes. Robes and sandals and... Yeah, I think an Exodus-themed restaurant would be good. Yeah. Oh, man. It's like... Sand sandwich.
Starting point is 00:26:19 There's just so many good ideas for restaurants. That's so little time. Have you ever gone to like a novelty anything like that just to like get a picture in front of it i don't think so i don't think i have either although the one was the one a couple years ago when the simpsons movie came out i feel like they're turning into quickie marts yeah and i was like i thought that was good i think it's fun i like whimsy all right yes yeah I think it's fun. I like whimsy. All right. Yes.
Starting point is 00:26:45 Yeah. I think it's fun if it's a thing you know about, but if you're just going to 7-Eleven, you're like, why is there a liner on the block? I just want to smoke. Yeah, that's true. If you don't know the thing that's happening, like I know a lot of people were posing in Game of Thrones chairs chairs oh yeah oh yeah i did that yeah yeah you're a big throne head aren't you yeah major throne did you read
Starting point is 00:27:12 the books before the show came out i did that's a big head and are you afraid that he's not going to finish the books before he or do you care or they're the show and the books are like completely divergent stories. Have you read the divergent stories? No, I've seen one of the divergent, I think. Which one is that? Shailene Woodley. Shailene. Shailene.
Starting point is 00:27:38 Shailene Woodley. It was divergent, allegiant, insurgent, allergic. Yeah, allergic. allergic and uh allegiant oh a legend yeah beatific uh what uh uh what do you like better the books or the movies uh probably the books i don't know if he if they're not movies by the way they're tv show is that oh yeah yeah yeah that's what um is it something that i should get into because i've never seen an episode or uh read a single page just or is it too late it's too late right you can catch up no you can catch up catch up there's one more season yeah if you're a fantasy book person or not. It may really... Okay, then don't.
Starting point is 00:28:25 Yeah, but I don't know. But I feel like Society really went for it in a big way. It's like the most popular show in the world. But if you missed it, like if you made it this far, you're fine, I think. Yeah, that's true. Where you can just... Time-wise, you may as well just watch it because it's a lot of pages. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:42 Or time-wise, you may as well do neither. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Do nothing. Save that precious time. Yeah. pages yeah yeah or but time-wise you may as well do not yeah exactly yeah yeah do nothing save that precious time yeah time-wise just watch failure to launch again why do i watch that so often oh well um what is is that have you really watched it many times no okay i don't know that i've even i thought you were talking about drunk graham watching it a couple weeks ago is that a m McConaughey and Jessica Parker? Kate Hudson? No, Kate Hudson.
Starting point is 00:29:09 Or am I thinking of Fool's Gold? Oh, yeah. Great watch. Is it? I love Fool's Gold. It's so stupid. Is Steve Zahn in it? No, it's Sahara.
Starting point is 00:29:18 Oh, okay. Sahara? Shame on me. What's Fool's Gold? Is it a... Where he... Oh, does he... You tell me. Is it an action comedy? Is it a, where he, oh, does he, you tell me. Is it an action comedy?
Starting point is 00:29:27 Oh, yeah. Okay. Oh, it is? Oh, I definitely haven't seen it. For me, it's the quintessential action romantic comedy. Okay. He's a, like, bumbling bum. Kate Hudson.
Starting point is 00:29:37 Treasure hunter. Yeah. And she leaves him because he's such a bum. But then he, like, comes across a big score and they probably take it together and fall in love again. And I think... Who's the bad guy in it? I've looked up Failure to Launch. It is Sarah Jessica Parker. What's the other one with McConaughey and Kate Hudson? Is the bad guy Donald Sutherland? Yes. Classic bad guy.
Starting point is 00:30:04 What's the other one with McC mcconaughey and uh kate hudson where uh it's she's trying to break up with him or something how to lose a guy in 10 days we did it that's weird that like i didn't know those two were in two movies together. Yeah. Like, there's certain people that you're like, oh, let's put, you know, Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson in a bunch of things together. Yeah. But then... They tried to make McConaughey and Hudson a real, you know, modern day Farley and Spade. Yeah, it's weird when you don't notice it happening.
Starting point is 00:30:44 Like, I can follow along i'm like okay will ferrell is always in these movies with whoever yeah but uh yeah that just learning now apparently it really snuck up on me matthew mcconaughey and kate hudson were in multiple movies different tones of movies yeah and uh but both where there's seemingly... Will they or won't they? They will. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:08 They can't... Could two of the best looking people in the world make it work? They can. Which is nice. That's a nice message to go home with. Although not in real life they haven't made it work. Not together. No, no, no.
Starting point is 00:31:22 Or separately, really. I think Matthew does fine. I think he's made it work. Yeah, is he a family man? Yeah, I think he's got a beautiful wife. He still makes time for his abs. Yeah, I think beautiful people getting together can work. Yeah, yeah, I guess you're right. Although, actually, Kate Hudson and the guy from The Black Crows didn't work. Yeah. Because he was too beautiful. And Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson. That didn't, not that he's, is he one of the beautiful people?
Starting point is 00:31:49 Your thoughts, Craig? Yeah. Yeah? I mean, he's not. Who's the most beautiful? Oh, yeah. Who's the most beautiful? Who's the most beautiful person?
Starting point is 00:32:00 Oh, boy. Probably that guy that plays Aquaman now. Oh, Jason Momoa? Yeah,oa yeah he's probably oh he's quite beautiful yeah yeah i would say like he would he's got my vote him or uh the guy who played in uh the movie match point oh yeah weird looking guy yeah it's so sharp what What's his... Crisp, sharp face. Who, what was his name? He's not, was he the guy from, he's not Cillian Murphy? No, but that guy's pretty, he's up there too. That's a pretty sharp face.
Starting point is 00:32:33 So you like a sharp face. I like a nice, sharp, smooth. For me, it's probably Tom Petty. Oh yeah, yeah. Real sharp face. Sunken, real sunken. Yeah, it's not sharp face. Sunken. Real sunken. Yeah, it's not trying to prove anything.
Starting point is 00:32:48 Yeah, yeah. Looks good in a top hat. It really doesn't. Did you watch the Tom Petty documentary on Netflix? No, I didn't. Well, if you have four hours. Yeah, yeah. I recommend it.
Starting point is 00:32:58 Now that you're caught up on Game of Thrones, you might have some time. My takeaway from that was he tries so many different looks looks bad in all of them i think his original he's so cool but and you think oh cool people can look good in anything nope his original look of just t-shirt with uh you know blazer or jacket yeah damn the torpedoes yeah that was a good look and then it did you're right it got more silk scarfy right over the years Headbands I feel like that's more
Starting point is 00:33:27 A function of a Receding hairline Once you see that Headband come out You're like You're not fooling anybody Like I mean although
Starting point is 00:33:35 Axl Rose was smart To get it Get it on there early So people wouldn't Wouldn't know We still do We still do How's his hair?
Starting point is 00:33:43 Huh? How's Axl's hair? Probably not good didn't he do come back with braids yeah right yeah but they may have been like didn't he also like didn't he break his like leg and he had they made him like a hilarious giant wheelchair throne so he could still move around the stage like a lazy boy with like red leather but it was controlled by a little remote we'll post a picture of it but yeah no it's that's really good it was weird because they are like notorious for canceling concerts and then he was like, yeah, show must go on.
Starting point is 00:34:28 Oh, man. Oh, to be in the audience at that concert. Where I bet you they didn't even look at each other on stage. I bet you it was like they had it arranged so that Slash never saw Axl. Oh, is Slash back in? Well, yeah, they was called the Never... What was it called like the never in a thousand years tour or something like that not in this lifetime that's what it's called oh because that's a famous quote from when they broke up i guess hell freezes over yeah exactly um no no no no no no knees knees that's what i would have called the tour
Starting point is 00:35:00 when you're writing out those lyrics do you do kn kn kn that's a good question i mean you're writing out those lyrics Do you do K-N, K-N, K-N? That's a good question I mean, you're really assuming that Axel's a good speller Written it out Dave, what's going on with you? Speaking of Toronto Yes I've been watching a television show set in Toronto There aren't many
Starting point is 00:35:22 This is a new television show called the real housewives of toronto did you hear about this did you hear this have you seen this have you seen this i haven't seen toronto i've watched a bit of beverly hills okay i watched a lot of the vancouver yeah i only saw the vancouver one which the only thing i remember of it was a woman had a vampire uh facial they called it or vampire that's where a vampire comes in and does something very horrible to your loved one was it a vampire facial it was a vampire necklace it was a vampire facial yeah and you get blood sucked out of your out of something something like out of your butt and injected into your face. Right.
Starting point is 00:36:07 And what's-her-name was a big... A Kardashian. A Kardashian was big about it. Butt blood. And this one was... I think what I've gathered from all of these shows is that the format is... Women be shopping. They have a party.
Starting point is 00:36:30 Yeah. And then the next episode, everyone just meets up. Everyone has meetups with everyone else who was at the party. And they all talk about what happened at the party. How someone betrayed someone else at the party. Yeah. And then they have another party and someone doesn't get invited and then there's a big deal about that uh my favorite thing about watching the vancouver one was all it was always set in places i had
Starting point is 00:36:55 never heard of oh yeah city that i live in right the the yeah like we we we met at Salt Cane. And you're like, what's Salt Cane? Looks very popular. What's a... I don't really go to parties. But when I do, I consider that seeing someone. So if someone asks me, hey, can we meet up after that? Talk about that party? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:22 No, we just saw each other at the party. What do we need to see each other again for? What is the makeup of the group? Like, what are they rich from? Well, it's funny. There's six of them. Yeah. Two of them aren't housewives.
Starting point is 00:37:39 Okay. So, I mean, in the sense that they're not even wives. Two of them aren't married. Okay. One of them aren't married Okay One of them doesn't One of them is Divorced With children
Starting point is 00:37:49 One of them has never been married Okay As far as I can tell No maybe she No she's married One of them is Not a wife But Housewife I guess
Starting point is 00:37:57 Is a loose definition Sure There's It really is the kind of show Where you have to have a hook Yeah Like for me to remember you. So I can only really remember three of them.
Starting point is 00:38:08 Or a very funny name. Yeah, that's true. Like Vanderpump. Oh yeah. She rules. She has her own spinoff. Is she a Beverly Hill? She's a Beverly Hill.
Starting point is 00:38:19 Was she the blonde, blondie? No, she's a dark haired. Okay. I think she has like an accent, British accent. I don't know. I only know the Beverly Hills one has Lisa Rinna. Yeah. Well, it's Lisa Rinna and Lisa Vanderpump. So there's two Lisas. She just
Starting point is 00:38:36 goes by Vanderpump. Was there one who was a Kelsey Grammer's ex-husband wife? Oh, yeah. Oh, maybe. But I feel like that was... Was there another one? Was there of the OC? Am I making that up?
Starting point is 00:38:50 Was there one where they're holding oranges? Is that... There might be the Atlanta one. There's an Atlanta one. I think there was some movement branded by fruit. Hold the fruit from where you're from. So we know. I don't even know what would be branded by fruit. Yeah. Hold the fruit from where you're from so we know. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:07 I don't even know what would be Toronto's fruit. Or Vancouver's. Yeah. I mean. Berries. Yeah. Yeah. Just a handful of loose berries.
Starting point is 00:39:17 Hold up a handful of loose berries. In Toronto, I think we'll be the same. Yeah. Loose berries. So there's, I only remember three of them because there's only three toronto people that have like a good hook one is a lady who's super christian okay but also talks so much and said a really dumb thing about drake that's very on brand she said she was doing being a part of this gala to like, you know, and this will be a good, this is for the young people of Toronto.
Starting point is 00:39:49 And it'll be a good thing, you know, to give them a start off in life. Because, you know, look at Drake. He started off working in Shopper's Drug Mart. Not for very long. Then he was on television. No, he never worked at Shopper's Drug Mart. That was a music video. He was on television, and then he was a rapper.
Starting point is 00:40:11 And in between, he didn't work at Sharper's Drug Mart. I wondered about that. Was that video just completely... I thought it was true. You know what? I bought in. I might be wrong. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:40:24 Yeah. If he did, it I don't know. Yeah. If he did, it wasn't between TV and rap. It was probably before TV. But TV, he was 10. Yeah, that's true. I don't see a lot of 8-year-olds working at Shopper's Dog Mart. You know, the family-owned ones. Where it's just, you know, some teens napping in the corner over by the uh lice combs
Starting point is 00:40:47 why does lice stuff all behind the counter at the uh that's a good that's a yeah uh because i end item because if you had a choice between asking for it or just stealing it i I would just steal it. But I don't think you need a doctor's note, do you? No, but... Well, but it's prominently displayed always. Yeah. We got the light stuff. Yeah, big sign-off for a guy spinning a thing
Starting point is 00:41:17 that does light stuff. The next woman I know is... She is the woman who's not a wife. She has her own business called Yoga, or it's Yoga for Jocks. I think that's what it is. Yeah. And she trains professional athletes. Okay.
Starting point is 00:41:39 She seems really with it. Everyone seems with it. Yeah. Well, some people are off in their own world. Yeah. The Christian lady some people are off in their own world. Yeah. The Christian lady is sort of talks too much. I don't mean to sound misogynist. I feel like that's how that came off.
Starting point is 00:41:54 I feel like in this group of people, when the six people get together, she's the only one who talks. But maybe that's just how it's edited. Other one I remember is the, uh, her thing is she's the chubby one. Okay. Her name's Roxy. She's my favorite. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:09 And like, is there anybody on it that's like a real hot mess? Not yet. Cause I feel like there's maybe one whose thing is she's way, she's like so much richer than all the other ones. Yeah. On an island. Really?
Starting point is 00:42:24 Yeah. Cool. I feel like when you're rich, or at least in that world, there's a lot of, you go to a lot of galas. Yes. Like,
Starting point is 00:42:37 how many galas would you say you've been to in your whole life? You can probably count them on both hands. Yeah. Imagine. Yeah, definitely under 10 galas. You have a 10 gala hat though. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:42:49 But yeah, it feels like on these shows. I've been to a gala. Yeah. A fancy gala where someone bought a table or whatever. And. Was it great or was it not great? No, I've definitely felt out of my comfort zone. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:07 Because I don't have any money. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So people pay a lot of money to have a table, and then they ask for even more money. And it's to benefit something. And they always get a local newscaster to host the thing, and they'll have someone who's affected by whatever this issue is. Right. Come give a speech and you're, it's heartwarming. And you're like, I can't, I can't, I don't have any money.
Starting point is 00:43:32 I'm here because someone else had money. Yeah. I remember going to one years ago when I think when the Vancouver Comedy Festival was just kind of starting out. Yeah. the Vancouver Comedy Festival is just kind of starting out. And they did a roast of the mayor who at the time this is like ages ago was the
Starting point is 00:43:52 guy that Da Vinci's Inquest was based on. Okay. For our American listeners this is a TV show about Vancouver. Was he a coroner? He was a coroner. Who became the mayor. And he so they did like a roast of him. And like, it was like all high profile people in the trailer park, boys were on it.
Starting point is 00:44:13 Right. And, but because I helped write jokes for the roast, like there was a table for the writers. And, I mean, my best clothes would be something that the other people in the room would have worn as a Halloween costume. To be a hobo. To what? To be a hobo or whatever. Hobo. Okay.
Starting point is 00:44:35 And then at dessert, they came over and they gave everybody, it was like the best looking dessert I've ever seen, but they had gold on it. It had flakes of gold. Yeah. And I was like, what's this all about? sleeping dessert i've ever seen but they had a gold on it like it had like flakes of gold yeah and i was like what's this all about and i just like saw every yeah everybody else just like eating it like it was the most natural thing in the world to just eat gold anyways uh yeah that's always a thing when they have they'll have a news story about like the most expensive hamburger or like this restaurant has a 800 dessert and it's just gold yeah golden caviar yeah some truffles in there yeah and uh it's not something that would be good
Starting point is 00:45:13 well maybe it would be i don't think gold has any flavor no no i think it's is it gonna hurt your fillings uh probably it's gonna make uh i don't know dude like there's a whole liqueur that's just based on gold there's gold in this i've never had it yeah me either it's gross it's cinnamon flavor cinnamon and you if you combine it with the jagermeister you make something called a liquid cocaine why is it liquid cocaine that was just what we call it at the bar i used to work at you make something we call a liquid cocaine. I guess. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:45:47 Because it's sugary. Yeah. Sure. Is there such thing as liquid cocaine? And if not, why not? Oh, sure there is. Yeah? I think you can inject cocaine.
Starting point is 00:45:57 Yeah. Okay. Now we're talking. Now we're talking what I'm going to do before the next gal I go to. Yeah, Goldschlager. I'll put that on the old bucket list Yeah sure Yeah they don't sell it in tiny bottles I just want to sip
Starting point is 00:46:12 Yeah maybe a shot Does any bar have it? Yeah you gotta keep it on hand for liquid cocaine Have you been a bartender? Yes What do people order That contains Goldschlager? Just
Starting point is 00:46:27 This liquid cocaine? That's the only thing Or just a shot of Goldschlager I've never seen it mixed Or would you have a Order a round of Shots of Goldschlager For me and my horrible
Starting point is 00:46:37 Friends Yeah I served many horrible friends We're the worst To us Yeah I think the next time I order shots I served many horrible friends. We're the worst. To us. Yeah, I think the next time I order shots, which who knows what that'll be. It's going to be Goldschlag.
Starting point is 00:46:53 Make mine a Goldschlag. It's weird. I don't mind a shot. No. But I never, and people, I've never bought one for myself, but I've had people buy them for me. Yeah, I don't think I've ever gone and like, give me a shot of something. Because I don't live in the old way. I've had a shot of wine at my communion themed restaurant.
Starting point is 00:47:16 Yeah, I don't know. Shots feel like something that have to just come to you. Yes. Have you done that thing where you do a hundred shots of beer in a hundred minutes? I'm a centurion. Yeah. No. No, me neither. It seems like, oh, I could do that.
Starting point is 00:47:30 But I think by the time it's done. I feel like I'd explode. Yeah, I think it messes people up. But shots are pretty small. I know, but just the accumulation of the kind of the bloat I think with beer. I think I could do a hundred shots of Goldschlager. I like a good beer buzz early
Starting point is 00:47:46 in the morning. Really? That's from Cheryl Crow's All I Want to Do is Have Some Fun. And Jimmy likes to peel the labels off his bottles of wood. Yeah, she's the only one having fun in that bar, I feel like. She's really touristing in that song. Yeah, everyone else is washing their
Starting point is 00:48:03 cars on their lunch break. Touristing in that song Cause everybody else Everyone else is washing Their cars on their lunch break Oh lordy Graham Yeah What's up with you?
Starting point is 00:48:12 I Yesterday I went and Popped over to Victoria to visit My grandmother 94 94 years old
Starting point is 00:48:21 Did you get a letter From the Queen yet? She I think she Yeah, I think she did And she also got I feel like a letter from the pope Yeah, she's Catholic? Yeah, she's Catholic
Starting point is 00:48:35 She should come to my restaurant Yeah, oh, she'd love it Loaves abound We went to this restaurant that was like Close to where she lives and it's this in this crazy
Starting point is 00:48:49 it's like a brand new hotel but it looks like an old hotel like it's specifically been built to look like an old English right
Starting point is 00:48:56 uh inn kind of thing and uh there's a theater in there that's the uh David Foster is that the guy the famous composer like the David Foster. Is that the guy? Yeah. The famous composer.
Starting point is 00:49:05 The David Foster Theater is built into this place. And I only discovered it because I went to go use the bathroom. And when I came out, there was this whole wall that was just all David Foster. Like every album that he had worked on. And first of all, I had no idea that he worked on that many albums. Yeah. worked on and uh first of all i had no idea that he worked on that many albums yeah and there's like a picture of him like standing next to a piano with all his grammys lined up on the piano what is his big thing did he do like his calgary 88 olympic theme right he did he did this music
Starting point is 00:49:36 st elmo's fire oh yeah and then he's worked on he worked on like hall and oats albums and uh all of michael buble's yeah that is his newer stuff celine dion maybe some celine dion where did he start he started like in the was he in a band uh no i think he just he was like he was a songwriter maybe he started in canada in a band or something but he's from guys... Guys, I'm wiki-ing this guy. Did he... He had a reality show too, didn't he? Yeah. With...
Starting point is 00:50:08 That's where America first learned about Spencer Pratt. Spencer Pratt. It was called The Princes of Malibu. Right. Yes. And he was married to the Jenners' parents. Like Caitlyn Jenner, her sons had a different mother. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:30 Isn't that when we learned about Brody Jenner? Is he the well-to-do man? David Foster is best known for his novel Infinite Chess. infinite chess oh he was oh was he in hmm hmm but he's like I gather that he's been married four times okay and for married and divorced four times Skylark was his band in the 70s who had a hit song called Wildflower. You would not know it. No, I don't think so. Skylark.
Starting point is 00:51:13 From Skylark to Booblark. Michael Booblark. It works. So, yeah, he's got this theater. I don't know what goes on in the theater. i don't think it's like a performance space but why would his name be on a non-performance space i when you say the calgary 88 olympic theme yes i can only imagine the john tesh basketball song no the calgary is it's in the same wheelhouse. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Oh, because I was thinking of...
Starting point is 00:51:48 They're both catchy. Mm-hmm. And so, yeah. So, I discovered that diamond in the rough. And then coming back on the ferry, the ferry was an hour and a half late and it was the last ferry of the day so it only takes an hour and a half to go across i know so i was on and i guess every teen sports team in bc was on this ferry it's a spring break oh that's what it was i was like why are there so many teens on this ferry?
Starting point is 00:52:28 And so, like, as a thing to make it up to passengers, they were like, free coffee and tea and hot chocolate. Which is, free coffee at 1039? But, like, the stampede of teens For hot chocolate It was insane I didn't get any
Starting point is 00:52:50 I was like, I guess I'm not going to fight these teens Oh, but you would A younger man would You know what I've found About teens This is a phenomenon I noticed in the summer months in Toronto
Starting point is 00:53:06 while I'll often be in a coffee shop in the afternoon doing my writings. Yeah. Your newsletter. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:15 Yeah. The bacon and Crager. But if I'm there around three or four When high schools get out Like a stampede of teens will all Come into the Starbucks
Starting point is 00:53:30 And all just order ice waters For free Because Starbucks has to Like the policy like yes we will serve every teen An ice water if they ask for it It's like how is that the policy None of them buy it Like literally like six guys
Starting point is 00:53:46 come in and all order ice water. I feel like that would be an urban legend. Like I hear that if you go to Starbucks and you order an ice water, they have to give it to you. And a cop has to tell you he's a cop. That's right. That's such a, but that is a real team thing to do. Like, boy, oh boy, what are you going to do? Yeah. Line up for my free thing. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:09 Yeah. So, yeah, man, oh man, like, nothing. That's the commonality between teens and kids and adults everywhere. Offering them a free anything, even if it's something they have zero interest in. There will be a stampede for it. Oh, yeah. But free ice water. they could have got that at school yeah or at least some free water out of a fountain yeah i know but it's better it doesn't it feel better when you feel like you're putting one over on somebody like did and but then do they hang out no okay it's not like yeah
Starting point is 00:54:43 they'll get then they get like in a cup to go cup with a straw and everything. And then they all, it's very hot out. So I gain. Yeah. But, but they don't, they're not, they're not abusing it for a place to hang out. No, they don't sit down. They just clog up the line. I kind of like these, I like these kids.
Starting point is 00:55:01 Is it more common for all, like say there six of them, for each of them to say, yeah, can I get an ice water? Or for one of them to say, six ice waters? I've seen both. Oh, wow. The Starbucks employees do not like the six ice waters ordered by one guy for everyone. Oh, like he's treating everybody to ice water? Yeah, they'll push back on that.
Starting point is 00:55:24 But if you order one per person They cannot push back I've been That's their one weakness I've Gone to a couple Hockey games this year Go Canucks
Starting point is 00:55:37 Always And I will have I'll bring someone with me And They will Be You know, happily buy me a beer. Yeah. But you can't buy two beers unless there's two people there, I think.
Starting point is 00:55:55 Oh, really? So, it's like, yeah, I have to stand there, even though I'm in the line next to him buying a footlong hot dog. Yeah. I'm not going to make anyone him buying a footlong hot dog. Yeah. I'm not going to make anyone buy me a footlong hot dog. But it is funny that like, yeah, this is the other guy. I think I have to bring you along to the thing. Do you have ID? That's a good policy though.
Starting point is 00:56:20 Yeah, absolutely. Especially at a sporting game. Oh, man. I feel like you can buy two at Blue Jays games. Wow, that's anything. Goes. We know that. It really is.
Starting point is 00:56:30 It's so hot in the summer. Those teams were fist fighting this year, god damn it. It's true. Do we want to move on to some overheard? Or do we want to move on to business just to hear that theme? Actually, Craig does another theme for us. Let's do the Graham graham's dad movie reviews what are you made of can you see with both your eyes look in the distance it's easy if you try
Starting point is 00:56:56 watch all the movies and don't waste your time just give it it a line. One line. Graham's dead. Overheard. Overheard. It's a segment in which we hear those things out there in the world. And then we talk about them here. And we always like to start with the guest. Yep. Craig.
Starting point is 00:57:22 Yes. You got one? Yes. This is an overseen from a little while ago. I'll allow it. Yeah. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:57:31 This feels right. I have pictures on my phone. I was walking home one night and I enjoy a good vanity license plate that I find easy. Yes, yes. I'll take photos of them
Starting point is 00:57:41 when I can. So I saw one on a fairly generic, sensible Mazda sedan that said, Chips and Dip. And I thought, that's great. That's so many letters. Yeah, it's all there. How do they do it?
Starting point is 00:58:00 Yeah, no I in chips. Okay. There you go. Yeah. And I thought that was a great job for that block of Toronto, but like two cars later was like a bright yellow mid-90s Mustang with the vanity license plate goddess. Oh, wow.
Starting point is 00:58:23 Oh, pretty good block. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Wow. Probably, probably probably same household don't you think they're the vanity plate household maybe i've also seen uh there's a oh i got a bunch a mini that parks near me uh outside of a very expensive looking house that says w murdoch on it which i'm pretty sure must be mr murdoch yannick bison himself the canadian tv show yeah wow is the character w murdoch i've never watched william i've never watched the show murdoch mysteries for our non-Canadian listeners is a show I've never watched it's basically
Starting point is 00:59:05 Victorian CSI yeah and he's into gadgets and like inventions of the time so he'll be like like a steam powered
Starting point is 00:59:15 Fitbit yeah yeah or like a flashlight like a flashlight that's the size of a suitcase our ex-Prime Minister
Starting point is 00:59:25 did a cameo on it as the... Oh, Stephen Harper. Yeah. As the evil Prime Minister. He was like a constable or something. Sure. Yeah. Seems up his alley.
Starting point is 00:59:37 Yeah. He's paying for it anyway. Yeah, that's right. We all are as taxpayers. Every Thads in Canada, our leader gets to be in one CBC show of his choosing. What do you think Justin Trudeau will pick?
Starting point is 00:59:50 Kim's convenience. Kim's convenience? Sure, working moms. We should all be so lucky. Dave, do you have an over? I do, and I just want to mention that we have a... There's a lot of places people can go to
Starting point is 01:00:04 to talk about our show you can go to the maximum fun reddit group uh you can tweet us on twitter and uh there's also a facebook group we have which has turned into 100 just uh vanity plates and i love it Yeah yeah Because lord knows I'm never going to mention them on the air My Overheard doesn't really count Because it's from the Real Housewives of Toronto One of these Housewives, Kara
Starting point is 01:00:36 Kisses her husband And then she gives a Like a little testimonial to camera And she says every time we kiss We kiss and hold for 10 seconds. A quick kiss is just a peck and I never want my husband to be henpecked. Wow.
Starting point is 01:00:53 I mean, it's like she doesn't know what that word means or she does and she thinks she's being clever. Do they freeze their whole bodies for 10 seconds? They don't keep moving they hold their like they touch and kiss but like it really 10 seconds is a long time screen time
Starting point is 01:01:14 and it's like you you get a lot fewer kisses i guess that way right yeah yeah you're less likely to want to bother like oh you know what i actually have something to do in eight seconds so the microwave is ticking down and you could really make it uh you could really make a meal out of it on reality tv by constantly showing like a time wipe and playing a clock ticking in the background. Yeah. Yeah. Edit in a digital tumbleweed. These are things you could do just to make it seem like, oh, 10 seconds. But it's a long time.
Starting point is 01:01:52 That's a long time to kiss anybody, even somebody you like. Okay. Well, okay. Well, not, okay, guys, we're not really kissing, but I'm going to start. Okay, we're going to start fake kissing. Okay.
Starting point is 01:02:05 Right. Right. Okay. Okay. Right. Right. Okay. Now. Done. That was long. That was a long time. You'd also be breathing on each other.
Starting point is 01:02:24 Yeah. Through your nose. Well, when you, as an adolescent, before you had ever made out, did you not wonder about the mechanics of all this? Oh, my God. Yeah. I mean. It is gross. Like, it is.
Starting point is 01:02:38 It is gross, but there's nowhere. I mean, I suppose now it would be very easy to Google something like that. How to make out? Yeah. Wow, do you think teens do that i really hope i would i think the i saw this one instructional video on how to make out and you cut a hole in a grapefruit and it sounds hilarious but uh because i don't i don't even know where like i I'm sure I just dove in without having any proper instruction. I think I kissed myself in the mirror. Yeah, sure. Practice.
Starting point is 01:03:12 Kissing your elbow? I'm just going to Google how to make out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because Google now will give you like a paragraph answer. Yeah. Right. You definitely, okay, so this is from vixen daily this is the paragraph they've chosen vixen daily uh wife of carson um not bad you definitely want
Starting point is 01:03:34 to still move slowly remember fast movement is the enemy of a good makeout okay try kissing them on the corner of their mouth and then moving your way down his jawline and into his neck. It'll send a shiver down his spine. Now, see, that's a thing that I think girls had access to with a 17 magazine or something. But there was no supplement in Kids National Geographic. Not that girls couldn't read that, but Hot Rods for Boys. Sports Illustrated? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:04:04 Owl magazine. Wasn't that a thing? What would a teenage boy read? Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Like, hot... Transworld skateboarding? Yeah, exactly. There's nothing in Thrasher about how to make that. Tony Hawk tells you how he...
Starting point is 01:04:17 French kisses? I don't picture him being a big French kisser, but... Now I have an overheard. Good. Here's the thing. On on the ferry i don't know where i don't know where these people come from oh oh here comes racist graham don't let me get off on a rant here but i don't see a lot of uh white people with dreadlocks in my day-to-day life but i guarantee you you'll see them on the ferry i don't know where they're going to or coming but you know what they're always on the move
Starting point is 01:04:48 and i admire them for that always getting evicted in a constant state of eviction um but there was a guy uh he you they have these little like uh work desks on the ferry that you like plug your phone into or whatever and so i was like phone in earbuds in just waiting it out and uh there was another guy and he's the dreads and had a uh like a crazy like ornate walking stick uh-huh hey what's the age of this guy? I think he was like my age. Um.
Starting point is 01:05:28 Was he a tree creature? He, he definitely wanted me to think he was a tree creature. What are the tree creatures called? Ents. Okay, cool. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:05:38 It comes up in a lot of crossword puzzles. Um, so, uh, like he was started knocking on the desk to get my attention because i think he didn't know i had earbuds in but with his hand yeah with his with his crazy staff uh yeah yeah if i'm carrying a staff around it's uh what's doing everything let me get that for you on the elevator uh so i take out the earbud. He goes, oh, sorry, I didn't realize you had earbuds in.
Starting point is 01:06:09 And I went, yeah. And then, yeah, exactly. And then he goes, literally, I just found out there is a tool video I haven't seen. And then I was like, and there was no, do you want to watch it with me? It was just, he said that and then i then then i just put the ear do you think you were listening to tool or do you think like maybe you could pull it up on your phone yeah i i don't know what the next part of that was going to be oh sure i've seen all of the perfect circles videos but then the two videos At least back in the 90s
Starting point is 01:06:46 They were all spooky stop motion animation Sort of California Raisin style Like spooky California Raisin Yeah they were our California Raisin Do you think maybe there's a new one he hasn't seen? I don't know I mean I really didn't want to ask Any follow up questions
Starting point is 01:07:04 You sure didn't. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Oh, man. Anyway, so. The fairy, as you remember. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:07:14 Speaking of, I've been doing a lot of crosswords lately. Oh, yeah. Ant has been showing up from time to time. Ska has been in a lot of them. Okay. Ska, like the music? Yeah, usually it's Reggae's Cousin. That's the clue.
Starting point is 01:07:28 Reggae's Cousin that's crashing here for a couple weeks. And then the other one, a weird one showed up, and it was like, I forget what the clue was, but it meant to turn around, and it was three letters. It was a U-E. Oh. How do you spell that? Exactly. U-I-E. Oh. U-I-E.
Starting point is 01:07:46 Oh. U-I-E. What? No. I mean. Next time I play Scrabble with my grandmother. Yeah. She's going to challenge it and she's going to lose a turn.
Starting point is 01:07:57 Wow. There's no way that's going to be in her Scrabble dictionary. We also have overheards sent in into us from people around the world if you want to send one into us you can send it into spy at maximum fun.org and uh this first one this is from jonathan k from los angeles hi uh this is an overheard from over 25 years ago. So this is a prime vintage. 80s, 90s, early 90s. Early 90s. The year was 1991.
Starting point is 01:08:29 Okay. You know, Terminator 2 isn't the year. Sure. Jurassic Park was big. Well, not yet. Maybe the book. Yeah, sure. Teenage fan club's bandwagon-esque was Spin's album of the year.
Starting point is 01:08:42 Edging out Nirvana's Nevermind. bandwagon-esque was Spin's album of the year, edging out Nirvana's Nevermind. And this is, Jonathan Kaye was 15 years old and was at the movie theater with my brother to see the movie Hook. Aha, starring Charlie Korsmo. The only other people in the theater
Starting point is 01:09:01 were two women in their 40s sitting a few seats back from us. In the film, Captain Hook kidnaps Peter's children from their home in London and takes them to Never Never Land. So Tinkerbell sprinkles Peter with pixie dust so the two can fly. As Peter is flying over the ocean, the pixie dust wears off and he falls out of the sky and into the water. Looks like he's about to drown, but some mermaids reach him and breathe air into his lungs. Looks like he's about to drown, but some mermaids reach him and breathe air into his lungs. At this point, upon seeing the mermaids save Peter from drowning, one of the women behind me snorted and said loudly, yeah, right.
Starting point is 01:09:40 Pretty good. Pretty good. I mean, I don't remember. I remember Bangarang. And the food fight. The food fight. And that's about it. And Rufio, Rufio, Rufio. Yeah, that's right.
Starting point is 01:09:53 Rufio, Rufio. I had a friend who, speaking of teenage make-outs, said hook. Took a girl on a date to hook. Yeah. In theaters. Having already seen it before and said, I'll take you on a date, but the deal is we have to kiss every time someone says the word hook.
Starting point is 01:10:11 Because there's a scene where, like, hook is chanted. Hook, hook, hook. You're not going to get any 10-second kisses that way. Man, this episode has been brought to you by Sneaky Teeth And the Korean Oh yeah A couple episodes ago with Ryan Belville We were talking about Dick Tracy
Starting point is 01:10:36 And that kid, Charlie Korsmo Yeah Was the kid in Dick Tracy I've since IMDB'd him He was only ever in seven movies But but he had a great little run. Was he also in Hook? He was in Hook. Wow.
Starting point is 01:10:50 He was in Dick Tracy, the aforementioned. He was in What About Bob? Yes. Wow. And later he was in Can't Hardly Wait. Oh, that's right. He was the nerd. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:11:01 This beer has gone bad. No one drank the beer. Yeah. Yeah. nerd yeah this beer has gone bad this beer the no one drank the beer yeah uh yeah he's like uh who's that guy that was in he was in godfather godfather 2 he's the john kazal is that his name oh yeah he's our generation's john kazal he's still alive i think yeah i mean if you call that but this next one comes from Adam M. Portland. Adam M. in Portland. I was at a pizza place in Portland.
Starting point is 01:11:34 So this is a full transcript of a fight, basically. At the table next to us, there are two guys and a lady in their late 20s. Two guys, a girl, pizza place. We all noticed that there seemed to be a point with quite a bit of talking and lots of animated movement that indicated some sort of argument. So this is the first guy, guy with glasses.
Starting point is 01:11:54 Look, no one meant that as an affront to your veganism. Guy with soul patch, long hair, and sleeve tattoos and presumed vegan stares silently for a minute, grabs the red pepper shakers and begins to unscrew it. So, troubles a-brewin'. Lady, very concerned, oh no
Starting point is 01:12:13 don't. Soul patch vegan dumps the entire red pepper shakers content into his mouth and defiantly starts chewing. Guy with glasses storms off at the front door. Soul Patch Vegan continues chewing and begins to start swallowing the pepper. Glasses Guy and Lady comes back, sit down, have another heated exchange.
Starting point is 01:12:34 Very heated now, I bet. All of a sudden, Glasses Guy stands up, gets closer and points his finger in Soul Patch's face. And yells, I'm trying to calm you down, you big baby. Quit being such a pussy. Soul Patch thinks for a moment, slowly reaches out, grabs the guy's glasses with two fingers and drops them on the table. Then everyone storms out, leaving the Soul Patch guy to choke down the rest of the pepper in his mouth. Now who's the big baby? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:13:04 That is like, wow. I guess it's vegan yeah oh was that yeah he's like well i'll just eat these red pepper flakes then i think that might be the uh equivalent of going into starbucks and just ordering that's the vegan equivalent you have to let them eat the red pepper flakes. Oh, no. Oh, he's doing it. Oh, no. I don't ever. Do you put those on? No.
Starting point is 01:13:32 Yeah, sometimes. Do you ever, like, when you're at a pizza slice place and there's somebody, like, putting so many things on a pizza that you're like, I don't think you like pizza. Yeah. Like, you seem to be dumping a lot of stuff on the thing that's the best thing. Yeah. Yeah Like he seemed to be dumping a lot of stuff on the thing that's the best thing Yeah, although I will say that in Toronto, if you're getting a slice of pizza, there's not as many available Accoutrements As there are here Oh, I see What else is there?
Starting point is 01:13:55 There's like a white sauce, usually of some kind Yeah, like a blue cheese thing, or then parmesan Yeah Oregano I don't get why you would put parmesan on something that's covered in cheese. Because it's not like you're putting shredded
Starting point is 01:14:11 parmesan. You're putting a powdered parmesan Yeah, on top of like perfectly good cheese. Very nice cheese. Yeah. But yeah, I don't. I want to have some you know, stick to my teeth. I don't want to have to blow on it. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:14:26 This last one comes from Joe S. in Orlando, Florida. I was finishing up an install Saturday when life threw me a little treat. What do you do for a living, Joe? Don't know. What do you install? It being the weekend, kids and people were out and about. I was walking back to the van when i watched this kid on his bike slowly pedal right into the back of my work truck he was looking down at his phone
Starting point is 01:14:51 and cruising up and down the street his head went thunk off the bad door i said are you okay buddy meanwhile i'm trying not to laugh and pee myself he turned his head while rubbing the knot he just made for himself and said ah that hurt i gotta stop doing this that's when i heard his friend from like three houses down yell danny did it again danny oh man you old lug yeah you screwball character you oh boy why yeah seeing somebody uh especially like like walk into a pole or something where you know it's not like it's not huge damage but it's maximum yeah hilarious yeah didn't we saw we remember we were at a hockey game and when we were walking out there was somebody walking backwards talking to their friend.
Starting point is 01:15:45 And you could tell that they thought they were like doing, they were keeping a pretty good pace and then just walked right into a tree. Yeah, pretty good. Side note, do you think since the White House, since Nixon installed bowling alley in the White House, every president has had to go to bowling university. Oh, somebody, you know, in his inner circle. In their first hundred days. Yeah. Brunswick. Brunswick has a red phone.
Starting point is 01:16:18 In addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us. Oh boy, do I have the number for you. I know it by heart is the thing. And I'm going to say it for you because I know it so well. I know it starts with a 1 followed by 844-779-7631. That is 1. Ugh. SpyPod 1. Like these people have. Hey, Dave, Graham, and guest. This is Doug from St. Augustine, Florida, calling in with an overheard.
Starting point is 01:16:48 I just caught the tail end of a conversation between my wife and my four-year-old daughter, where my four-year-old daughter said, Can I please get a pet kitty cat? I promise I won't throw it down the stairs. All right, thanks, guys. I mean, don't make promises you can't keep. I've definitely thought about it. That's not a big deal for a cat.
Starting point is 01:17:09 You can huck a cat and the cat will land. Yeah. They got nine lives. Cat size. Each and every one of them is running wild. Black and black. Those lyrics out of context of the song what is that I'm back in black yeah I hit the sack gone so long I'm glad to be back I'm cutting loose from the noose from the noose
Starting point is 01:17:39 that's kept me hanging around I'm living on the fly because it's getting me high I drive a hearse because I'll never die Forget the curse Cause I'll never die Oh forget the hearse I thought it was I drive a hearse Oh Oh drive a hearse
Starting point is 01:17:50 Cause I'll never Cause I'll never die Forget the hearse Cause I'll never die Oh that makes way more sense Oh yeah I've got nine lives Cat's eyes
Starting point is 01:17:56 Each and every one of them Is running wild Yes I am back You can picture an English teacher Reading these lyrics To the students Being like Yeah
Starting point is 01:18:04 You think that that's Shakespeare, but it's not. And then they sit backwards in a chair. It's ACDC. Did you know that they have two lead singers? I was listening to the radio the other day, and they were playing the new song from Jamiroquai. I was like, how's Jamiroquai. I was like, how's Jamiroquai
Starting point is 01:18:26 still around? It's not like ACDC where they could replace a lead singer who died. If the lead singer from Jamiroquai died,
Starting point is 01:18:34 that's the band, right? Yeah. Yeah. But he's not dead, is he? No. Oh, okay. I thought you were telling me that Jamiroquai
Starting point is 01:18:39 was dead. I thought it would be really funny if like, it's Jamiroquai but with, you know, Terrence Trent Darby singing. Yeah, it's, it is, but it's always weird funny if, like, it's Jamiroquai, but with, you know, Terrence Trent Darby singing. Yeah, it's, it is, but it's always weird when you see, like, a band that it's a band from a long, long time ago, and it's maybe the bassist is the original member.
Starting point is 01:18:56 Right. It's a bunch of young guys, and you're like, I guess I just saw Triumph. Here's your next phone call. Hey, SPY, this is Daniel calling from Davis, California. I am calling an overheard slash overseen. I was walking behind my workplace to get to my car to grab something out of my trunk. And I was walking to the car. There is a group of about four or five guys in sort of a camp with some carts and just like stuff they found
Starting point is 01:19:26 and they were listening to a CD player or MPD player or something and what they were listening to which was broadcasting to everybody in the street was I believe 1984 on audiobook, the George Orwell book and then I went to my car and I came back
Starting point is 01:19:42 and that same group of guys was now standing and dancing to Where's the Love by the Black Eyed Peas. I thought it was a fitting, lovely combination. Oh, wow. Yeah. I mean, people killing. 1984 got you down. Here's the cure.
Starting point is 01:19:59 That was their, was that their first big one with Fergie? Where's the Love? Yeah. No, wasn't that with Justin Timberlake? Yeah, but it was with Fergie. With Fergie with Fergie? Where's the Love? Yeah. No, wasn't that with Justin Timberlake? Yeah, but it was with Fergie. Was she also Fergie Ferg? It was their first Fergie song. Really?
Starting point is 01:20:13 If I'm not very much mistaken. No, I don't think that I knew much about Black Eyed Peas before the arrival of Fergie Ferg. They would have the occasional female singer, Esthero. Oh, yeah.. Oh yeah. Hethero. Hard to say. If she dies, no more Estero. Can't just have the bassist from Estero.
Starting point is 01:20:35 Here's your final phone call of the year. Hey Dave Graham and possible guests. This is Aaron from Arizona. I have an overheard. I was walking down the street and I passed these three girls who were dropping off their friend at her apartment and I didn't really hear their conversation. All I got was the last little snippet, which was instead of them
Starting point is 01:20:59 saying goodbye to each other, I heard them yell to each other, Ratatouille Chef Linguini Cousin. So that's going to be rattling around in my brain for the rest of my life. Ratatouille Chef Linguini Cousin. Cousin.
Starting point is 01:21:17 That sounds like something an alien would be trying to be a cool teen. This is slang, right? Well, I've applied some linguistic modulator. Yeah, that was always my thinking when I watched a sci-fi movie and they would have, like, a translator or, like, but that it was always such a clean translation that it was never, like, close to the word that you want.
Starting point is 01:21:43 Because even between languages on our planet, we can't get a perfect translation. Exactly. Anyways, any aspiring sci-fi writers, that's a fun little wrinkle you could throw in your screenplay. Redatory chef linguine cousin. Well, that brings us to the end of the episode. Craig.
Starting point is 01:22:10 Yes. Where can people find you online if they need more Craig Anderson? You could find my Twitter. Our Instagram is at a million Craigs. Now, why? I remember the last time I was here, asked me this and i still don't have a good answer okay what imagine if there was a million of me now you're you have one of my favorite tweets all of all time which i just it oh i think i i might know what this is it uh it
Starting point is 01:22:37 really hit home for me uh no pun intended and that tweet was i watch moneyball every day yeah i've yeah it's the movie i've seen the most for sure it's always it's not on netflix anymore though is it oh maybe not it was for a long time and it's just so easy to watch. Like it's always a possibility. Yeah. It's never too intense. Nope. Right. Yeah, it is,
Starting point is 01:23:08 it is a nice even keel. Yeah, it's got a nice soothing score. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Little girl plays
Starting point is 01:23:16 that song guitar. Mm-hmm. I gotta see it. I think I've only seen it the one time. Enjoyed it though. Well, it's not on Netflix now.
Starting point is 01:23:24 Yeah, that's true. Wait for it to come back. And you also, people can see you live in Toronto. Yes, I perform and work at the Bad Dog Theater Company, which is at Bloor and Ossington. If you want to come see me do improv. Yeah. And if you haven't seen Craig do improv, you should.
Starting point is 01:23:43 Yeah. It's a real joy. Or sometimes when I'm here I'll do it with the Sunday service Yeah Is that what you did this week? No Oh
Starting point is 01:23:49 Well thank you so much For being our guest Oh thanks for having me And as always Rigatoni Ratatouille Ratatouille Chef Linguini
Starting point is 01:24:00 Cousin And thank you out there Again For donating During the Max Fun Drive. And thank you out there, again, for donating during the MaxFunDrive. Totally. And if you like the show, head over to MaximumFun.org. Check out the blog. Recap of this episode.
Starting point is 01:24:14 Pictures and videos relating to the content of this podcast. Wildflower by Skylark, probably. California Raisins. Skylark, probably. California Raisins. Estero. Estero? Singing with, what are they called?
Starting point is 01:24:32 Black Eyed Peas. Estero was very good. Yeah. Do you remember her? Was she Look at That Girl? Yeah. Yeah, I like that song. It's so pretty. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:24:39 I wonder who she is. You'll have to tune in next week to find out. I think she did some work on 808s and Heartbreak. Hmm. Well, and you know what? While you're on the internet, go check out where Estero's at now. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:24:55 And thanks a lot for listening to the podcast. If you like the show, tell your friends and come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself.

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