Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 477 - Erica Sigurdson

Episode Date: May 8, 2017

Comedian Erica Sigurdson returns to talk Japanese candy, Peppa Pig Live, and bird fear.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 477 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who despite being under the weather is here. Ready to perform for you, the people out there. Mr. Dave Shumka.

Yeah, I'm doing a little soft shoot for the listener right now. Cha-cha. Cha-cha. Cha-cha. right now. Cha-cha. Cha-cha. Cha-cha. Cha-cha.

Cha-cha. Cha-cha. Cha-cha. Cha-cha. Is the, is the Sashu predicated on that the floor is hot? Hot floor.

Hot floor. Hot floor. Cha-cha. I think that's what all dancing is based on. Yeah, yeah. Or being shot at on the floor.

Our guest today, return guest to the podcast, one of our faves, very funny comedian, Miss Erica Sigurdsson. Hello. Hello. Hello, everyone. Hello, gentlemen. Hello.

Gentle people. Oh, that's good. Yeah. Very inclusive. Gentle people listening. Yeah. Do we want to get to know us? Yeah.

Mm-hmm. Get to know us. Erica, it's been, let's say, a year since you were here last. Yeah, as one of your faves. Yeah. You like to spread it out. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Do you think you should be here quarterly? I was thinking bimonthly, but...

Oh, okay. Is that twice monthly or every two months? I don't know. Yeah, I don't know either. I'm either way ahead on my mortgage payments or way behind. I'm just kidding. I don't own a house. So how are things?

Things are great. Yeah. You just came back from Japan. Japan. And this is like how many times? That was my fifth time to Japan. Always. And this is like, how many times? Fifth. That was my fifth time to Japan. Always the same cities or?

No, I like to shake it up, mix it around. I mean, Tokyo is a pretty, like I hit Tokyo every time. Yeah, yeah. Of course. And this time it's mostly Tokyo. So what, do you just go as a, this is a holiday? Well, the first two times I went was when I was younger. So I went once with school, I went back after graduation. And then this is my third time going as a jujitsu event.

So what's the, five times total? Five times total. What's the event? It's a Taikai. It's an international like training. It's a Kumite. Oh yeah. That's what I was wondering if it was a Kumite.

It's a Kombucha. oh yeah that's what i was wondering if it was a kumite it's a kombucha yeah so good for you apparently yeah totally um now there's a jujitsu that's not brazilian yes the original one japanese is brazilian jujitsu just with waxing yeah it's a smoother kind of the same but with waxing um Yeah, it's a smoother kind of thing. It's the same, but with waxing. And then big old booties. You've been doing jiu-jitsu for how long? A decade?

Yeah. But I have not been doing jiu-jitsu for the last couple years. Just busy, busy schedule. I'm flying all over the place. So this time I went as a Jiu Jitsu. Well, I went, Jay was the one participating and he was getting promoted to like this like high level CEO of Jiu Jitsu.

We are set for life. Um, so I went, I wasn't participating, which was weird. Cause like, I'm not good at playing the, the wife, you know, just, I'm always doing the thing and so so you uh what had to sit mat side not court side it's not a court no jiu-jitsu it's a dojo did you sit dojo side i sat dojo side no and i didn't i didn't go watch because i mean that's i have no interest in sitting and watching something does does anybody no like is it a spectator thing or no it's i mean if you if you'd never seen it before it'd be cool but i've seen it before and jay often practices on me so i'm like seeing that one let's see what wrist lock he'll put me in next

what is that how long does a practice session go for? No, he'll just grab my wrist and just test out the pressure point. Yeah, exactly. Wow. And it hurts very quickly. Yeah, yeah. Really quickly. Does he ever do the come at me and I'll disarm you?

Like come at me with a knife or something? No, but I have gone at him with a knife. Numer numerous times. Fun Saturday. But like, is it so he has to like what do certain moves or something to get? I don't understand how these belt. Okay. Tell me how this works. Okay.

First bell you have is basically wipe belt just to hold your gi shut. It means nothing. And what is the, I know that, I mean, I know that judo is throws. Yeah. Oh, that's right. What's jujitsu? So Japanese jujitsu is mostly wrist locks, pins, and there are some throws. Okay.

And it's like, they call it a gentle art because it's not like karate where you could go and attack someone. Right. Everything is if someone first attacked you. So it's wrist locks and pins. So it's like acupressure. Yeah. Or jewelry.

Yeah. Pretty good. Strong work. But, like, do you do weapon things? Yeah. Oh, really? I did take one of the courses that is how to disarm someone if they have a gun. And that was cool.

And there was a bunch of border guards who were also taking the course. It was taught by our sensei. And it was like, I was the only girl in the class, and there was two lines. And everybody had a number, and then the sensei would call out a number, and that person was supposed to pull a gun on you. So you wouldn't know who was going to do it. Oh, wow. So when it was my turn, I was like, oh, don't fuck this up, don't fuck this up. Like, did you all have fake guns?

Yeah, so we all had fake. One person got a real gun. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Right? That's how a firing squad works. They're all real guns, but one person got an actual bullet. Yeah. There's only one graduate of the class.

And it was me. Congratulations. Yeah. So it was the border guard that pulled the gun on me, and I disarmed him so quickly. Wow. He was so surprised. Jay was like, holy shit.

And I was like, but then I did like a total like. Shoot your guns in the air. Yeah. Wow. I didn't, I guess that's a thing that people have to do, take a gun away from somebody. But I feel like I've always been told not to, if somebody has a gun just well

do whatever they say that was a big thing in the course was because like one is if someone has a gun to the back of your head and so it was like when do you know and and he was like it's literally it's a gut thing like you know if somebody's you know like if somebody's like give me your wallet and they have a gun at you then you're just like i'm like can i just give you the contents kind of attached to the wallet itself it's on this chain it's gonna be a whole ordeal slowly like unfastened or you're just following them yeah yeah you know what do you're going to do with the cards and then just leave me here. But you're just supposed to kind of play it by ear?

Pretty much. Good Lord. Pretty much. Do people still mug people in a cashless society? I know the tap has... The tap is great. Because then you can go on a crazy tap spree. But mine is $50 limit.

Yeah, I think that's, I think maybe mine's $100. Yeah, but mine's $300 a day. Oh, really? Yeah. So you can't, you just keep tapping and tapping. But what, like, surely there must be something that people can just like put against your wallet to steal that. Right. So just like someone goes, holds a tap machine and puts it up against your butt.

Yeah. Yeah. Or something like that. Truly. That's a good idea. Yeah. Right. And then you're just stealing taps.

Yeah. All over town. Well, and have you used Apple Pay on your phone? No. I have. It's amazing. What's the. It's amazing. What's the.

It's basically hooked up to your bank card and it's like tap. So when it says tap your card, you just put your phone and then it asks for your thumbprint. Yeah. Oh, your thumbprint. Your thumbprint. Oh, I'm not interested in integrating my thumbprint into these. I know. I see. I am like, so the opposite like jay won't do any location

services is off everything like he won't let any and i'm like tile every everybody knows where i am yeah um do you have on your phone that thumbprint yeah well because all uh iphones have it to to unlock is it just here yeah That's what you do. It doesn't work for me because my skin is always so dry that my thumb just doesn't have a consistent print. So somebody figured out that their cat's paw print could do. So you could get grandpa to put his paw print on there. And then every time I need to go pay for something. Grandpa comes with you.

Yeah, you just have him in your side satchel. I do have that. It's like a brassiere attachment. Yeah. Which is something my body needs anyway. So it's something that attaches to the brassiere you're already wearing? That's right. I understand.

Brasserian jiu-jitsu. It's a lot of throws, a lot of grabs. A lot of cuddles, a lot of tickles. And a little poop. I was reading a thing that the reason that they started doing fingerprint identification in prisons was because there was these two prisoners that had the same name that looked almost identical. And that's when they started like, we need to figure out a system of identifying these people that isn't just looking at their mugshots. Didn't have different tats, though. I think this was in like a, a gentler prison time,

like before, you know, you might have one on your chest of a boat, right? Maybe one on your arm of a lady, you know? And I think it might've been like a really mean warden who was like, like,

you're all scum. Y'all look the same to me. Scum. Pardon me, sir. No, please. Pardon me. No please pardon me

The two people who look alike Are also a really great comedy team So you just came back from Japan Then you're jetting off to the island Now when you went to Japan you brought Oh yeah You brought some delicious candy. I went and brought them back,

yeah, back from Japan. I also took... Oh, you didn't... I took candy to Japan. For the Japanese? Yeah, because at the banquet, there's always this big gift-giving exchange.

Oh, you really did bring candy. Yeah. Oh, wow. So, you're like, if somebody gives you a gift, you're supposed to reciprocate with a gift to half the value. It's like self-defense gift-giving. So, wait. If somebody gives you a gift, you're supposed to reciprocate with a gift to half the value. It's like self-defense gift giving.

So wait, if somebody gives you a gift, you have to reciprocate with something that's half the value of the gift that you got? Yes. But how do you know? It's a guessing game. And you're not supposed to give anything too nice to people that are above your station because then you're trying to show. It's just, it's so much like pressure and somebody's coming at you with a gift and you're like, oh.

It's like anti-growth stuff. You're a coffee growth. Is that you? Yeah. Is that, oh, okay. Now, I have this app on my phone called Google Translate that will, you can put text on the camera and it'll translate for you. Perfect. And you know that's a Kit Kat, not a coffee crisp. No, I know, but you brought a coffee crisp to Japan is what I was saying. Oh, no. Did you bring like a Canadian? Maple, yeah.

So we took little bottles of Canadian whiskey, some smoked salmon, some Canadian roots mints, the ones that say Canada across the front, which is a great little gift. Yeah. And so then they were like tiered, like, so one, like one bag had one of everything in it. And then some just had the mints in it. Right. For like lowly people.

So I'm opening this strawberry Kit Kat. Okay. It's. It's pink. It's very fragrant. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Oh, it's nice. Right? I have a cold I can't very fragrant. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Oh, it's nice.

Right? I have a cold I can't really take. It's really nice. No, I can taste that. It's good. That's a good one. Mm-hmm. This one is matcha.

Mm-hmm. What does matcha taste like not in a Kit Kat bar? Kind of like, you know, like lawn trimmings. Ah, yes. Yeah. This one is the wasabi one. Oh. It says wasabi.

Boom. Now, do you speak Japanese? I speak Japanese, but not fluently. Okay. So you can't vamp while we eat? No. Oh, that's nice, too. This one's going to blow your mind.

Is it good? Blow your mind? I just, I like wasabi. Finally, the wasabi. Breaks into the candy market. Yeah, this Kit Kat, this second one, it tastes very, like, earthy. That matcha one. Have you ever had wasabi before?

Yeah, because you don't eat sush. No. But back in the day, I had some. Is it hot? You don't like it. Dave doesn't like it. It is weird. It's very weird, the wasabi

one. Yeah. Yeah, no, it's fine. Well, I wouldn't eat it again. I would. Never. No, it's fine. I would eat just about any chocolate bar that I can because so many of them have nuts in them. Yeah. So.

Sure. And you're a Kit Kat fan? Love the Kit Kat. Love the coffee crisp. Mm-hmm. Coffee crisp. And you know what else is good? What's that?

The crunchy one is it just called it's crispy crunch oh crispy yeah that one there's one called crunchy as well yeah yeah and isn't there one just called crunch there is yeah that was weird that was a day they were just like you know what fuck it i got nothing what do people want out of a chocolate bar i don't know crunchiness is that a new word? I think, yeah. I think it's something Shakespeare invented. It was a cross between crispy and country.

What about crispy country? I don't know. Big Turk. Fan? Not a fan. I've never had it. I was a huge fan oh man gross it's chocolate and like basically like a bunch of gummy bears yeah it's like it's like yeah uh turkish delight kind of yeah except i've had turkish delight and been like no this is not what i right it is it's like

a gummy bear yeah it's weird there was also one when I was a kid that I feel only dads and uncles ate it. And it was called Eat More. Oh, gross. I hated that. Do you remember Eat More? Yeah, of course. It was like maybe molasses with nuts in it? Was it chewable?

Yeah, it was chew fruit. It was a chew bar. Yeah, it wasn't as big on crunch as it was on chew. But I feel like I never saw a kid buy and eat more. No. Was there a chew-related bar? Was there something just called chew? Yeah, I feel...

Crunchy chew? Well, there's Charleston Chew. And that'll take your teeth right out of your head. Which you can't actually chew it. You put it in your mouth, and then it just slowly melts off your teeth. Your teeth are stuck together. For hours, you're finally like, oh, man, made it through that first bite. I bought just a real impulse buy the other night at the drugstore,

a bag of chewable Werther's Originals. Oh, man. I can really see what old people are on about. Oh, boy. I just really see what old people are on about. Oh, boy. Oh, yeah. I smoked right through those things. So how was Japan? Yeah.

It was good. Candy-wise, knocked it out of the park. It was lovely. And then I went straight. I came home for less than 24 hours and went to Winnipeg the next day. For the Winnipeg Comedy Festival. That is correct. How was?

It was good. Yeah? Yeah. You, how many years in a row have you been? I think this was my fourth year in a row. Nice. Yeah. I did talk to them.

I said, you're going to probably take a break from Erica Sigurdsson, right? Well, if the fans demand it. That's true. And then you're going to? Halifax. Yeah. Now these festivals all require brand new, not aired before material. And so that's a lot of material. Yeah.

And when you put that in the contract, I'm like, yes, it will be brand new. It will not have aired. It will not make sense. It probably won't be funny. No one will have wanted to air this. Yeah. This is actually all the stuff that's been cut out of other festivals and left on the cutting room floor and it's like

a casserole of jokes. Oh yeah. It's the broccoli casserole set. How is the set coming for Halifax? Because I know you've been working on it but you were also just working on a winnipeg set so that's not yeah that's a lot that's a lot of material it's a lot it's way it is waking me up at night yeah i'm like oh you're like is that a joke yeah i'm up at night is that something do find yourself like, just like anything that gets kind of even a wiggle?

You're like, maybe that's a bit. Yeah. But, and I have, I'm, I have barely any time to practice any sets. Right. Before I go. Yeah. Cause you're toing and froing. I'm toing and froing.

And I actually next week I should probably go out and like, I should just commit and next week practice those two sets. Yeah. Two sets. One's seven minutes, one's five minutes. Wow. That's 12 minutes. It's 12. Do you need, you know, suggestions of places to practice or do you just do it in front of the mirror and a hairbrush?

Yeah, I do it in front of a mirror. Wouldn't that be great if it was like, every year I work on a new hour. Yeah. And it's just them practicing in their bathroom with sunglasses on and a hairbrush. Why are you wearing sunglasses? I will on the day. I'm confident I will on the day. As a kid, when I would always lip-sync to songs, I would wear sunglasses.

What was your go-to song that you would lip-sync when nobody was on our own by Bobby Brown from Ghostbusters 2? Pretty good. That's a pretty good lip-sync song. Erica? I didn't. Oh, it would have been like a 50s or 60s song because i wasn't really allowed to listen to contemporary music is that was that a parental like a household rule no none of the satan's rock and roll kind of only horse music yeah only horse music and christian music so maybe maybe early amy grant before she

broke up vince gill's marriage and like a baby baby? No, before that. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I was about 15, I think, when that song came out. Baby baby. And you weren't, what you're saying is you weren't lip syncing in the mirror when you were 15? No. Oh, wow. Because I'm sure I did that well into teen years. Well after it was probably what you're supposed to be doing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I do it anytime I see a mirror. Or even if I walk past a shiny store window. Shoop, shoop. What music are you playing in there, guys? The club is not the best place to meet people, so the place is where I go. I don't know. I don't remember that.

This is where I go. I don't know. I don't remember that. Did you try to sneak modern music when you were a kid? My grandparents, when I was probably 11, got me a Walkman. Okay. And they gave me, with the Walkman, there was a Madonna tape and a Bruce Springsteen tape. And that was like my first like, wow. Yeah, yeah.

What is, and then, and then at that point it was a little like when I could afford to go buy, maybe you could buy a cassette singles. Cassette singles? Yeah. For like $2.99. And then I started to go and once I was making my own money, like by the time I was 12, I was out there working for the Sally Ann, ringing the bell, babysitting up a storm. But I just wasn't into music the way a lot of people, because if you grow up when your parents are really into music and listening, you kind of get your own taste.

But it was just always Christian radio on. My parents were Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale. Oh, that's, you know, it's crazy. She still looks like she did back in the day. What's her secret? As her son. Not being seen up close. Yeah.

You're Kingston, right? Yes, I'm Kingston, Rossdale, Stefani. What's my mom's secret? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Matcha. Ooh, matcha. In tea form or candy bar? Oh, no, she rubs it on her, all of her, you know.

2,000 parts. She has matcha lever 2,000. Is that what lever 2,000 soap was? You rub it on all your 2,000 parts? Well, that was the slogan, wasn't it? Yeah, but I don't think the human body has to do that okay let's count like they're going they're going like a finger is not a part they're going bones in the fingers are but you're not washing your bones but it's like fingernail uh first knuckle second right right yeah like that's at least two that's at least

a thousand right there just on the hands yeah and then torso face legs those are each one one thousand on this hand one thousand on this hand and then six yeah and then if we have time watch the rest of your body um yeah the uh i was reading uh an interview with the vampire with gwen's or no gwyneth paltrow and uh she's like all on people's princess she's the people's princess eng England's rose. And she's constantly with supplements during the interview even. She's just like popping a vitamin C and a this and a that and a rollo. She's also a strict vegan. Is she?

And rich. Yeah. She's like even another level of vegan, like raw diet vegan or something. Right. And she's crazy rich. Yeah. Did you hear, and richer now, that this goop is going public? How that happened.

I don't know. I love, I follow goop on Twitter. I think it's great. I like, I love when the headline is, is, well, there was one about earthing.

What's earthing? It's walking barefoot. Like how earthing can, you know, help your wellbeing. What do the two O's stand for in Goop? Um, I don't.

Gwyneth, owner, operator, Paltrow. I know. There you go. Pretty good. I think you corrected. Yeaheth owner, operator, Paltrow. I know. There you go. Pretty good. I think you corrected.

Yeah. Uh, yeah, she, well, the big thing that made news like a couple of weeks ago was a jade egg that you're supposed to put up your. Oh yeah. I forgot about that.

Yoni egg. We talked about it on our live show. That's right. Yeah. But hers is made of jade. Yeah. Which is, well,

isn't jade expensive? There's tons of it, man. Oh, is there? Yeah. It's not a... The Japanese love jade. That would have been a great gift. Could you please respond with a gift of half value, but still insertable into my bag?

Is it a jade tampon? It's a jade diva cup. Oh, yeah. That's my wrestling name. Jade diva cup. When I was in The Gorgeous Ladies. That, I don't, I mean, maybe it's not mine to understand, but I do not understand how that product works.

Is it a thing that you wear? A diva cup? Yeah. Yeah, it goes up there. Oh, it goes up there. Oh, okay. It catches. And then it releases.

Well, and then you, I assume you have to be knocked out to empty it out. Like, I don't think anyone would want to experience. So somebody has to trank you and then they come in and remove it? No, you have to empty it yourself every 12 hours. Huh. How do you know so much about it? Because I have a Diva Cup. It's the car to go of my vagina. Because you're a big you're an early adopter. you're an early adopter.

I'm an early adopter. Cardigo. That mug that was shaped like a horn. It was shaped like a goat's horn. Yeah. The Diva Cup. The Tile. The Tile.

Apple Pay. I mean, I love. Whatever's the newest thing. I got it. I really think you should approach Diva Cup with that slogan let it be the car to go of your vagina although is that what it is is it a cup that just is a community cup yeah exactly there was um on i think it was reddit a discussion about like my friend asked if she could borrow my diva cup because she left hers and I guess she was staying with her.

And she was like, I said I thought that was gross. And it was like, who? And I was like, okay, first of all, before you ask to borrow a friend's Diva Cup, why don't start with ask them if you can borrow 40 bucks? Like if my friend was like, I forgot my Diva Cup. Oh, let me get my wallet yeah well and also this is on me staying with you you're like oh boy this is a real with the worst house guests forgot my toothbrush yeah exactly toothbrush is too intimate and that's six6 or whatever. Yeah, but I don't, now I, well, now I partly know. Maybe I'll watch a video tutorial.

Oh, there's a group of three young girls. Well, they're probably like in their early 20s now, but they, and they are from England and they do all these videos about rumps, which is what they call reusable menstrual products in the UK. Rumps. Reusable menstrual products. Rumps. Wow. Yeah. And so they do, because as I was pushing the Diva Cup on my friends.

Pushing the Diva Cup up your friends? No. They are in charge of the installation and removal. Installation. they are in charge of the installation and removal. But I did get a call from one of my friends in a panic saying she couldn't get it out and it had caused suction. And what to do. You seem like you would have tried cupping, too. I didn't.

Oh. No. Okay. What about ear candling? I haven't done it myself, but I did help my friend do it. Like you lit the fire? Yeah. Oh, wow.

I did start the fire. That's what the Billy Joel song. It's at least in reference to ear candling. Yeah. Is there anything like brand, brand new that you're itching to try? Is there anything you want people out there to ask you for a referral code so you can get a bunch of free miles? Free Diva Cup miles? I should be getting points off this, but I don't.

Is the Diva Cup you buy one and then that's it? That's the only one you ever need kind of thing? For about two years. Oh, okay. And they're big in buying them for third world country because girls don't get to go to school when they have their period. And so it's really good for them because it's also a one-time cost. And also for low-income women and women who are living on the street. Although, living on the street, you've got to have a bathroom where you can empty it and wash it.

But it's $40, and that's going to be however much you spend every... You know what? If I had the need, probably be the way I'd go. Yeah. Probably go the Diva Cup route.

Thank you, Graham. Yeah. But you don't have the need. No. The need. For speed? Yeah, I was trying... Oh, the need for bleed. Oh, yeah. was trying oh the need for bleed oh yeah i was like how are they not there yet yeah yeah well you know we we don't spend a lot of time talking about this

stuff not enough time yeah thank you thank you uh is it international women's month again yet um yeah i'm i'm trying to think if i've seen anything where i was like oh i wanna oh i want to try that i think when i saw the uh thing where you put your feet in the fish tank and then the fish like i did that you did that i did that in the philippines and the but the fish were giant it wasn't like the little fish you see in mexico one sucks on your toe. I have a video. His name is Lester. I own him now.

He's raising his eyebrows the whole time. Ooh, he likes you. So I was by myself and the fish were quite big, like they're that big. For the home listener, they're about yay big. Yeah. Holy cow. I thought they were tiny, tiny. In Mexico, they're tiny little fish.

But these were like fish that actually came up and they were like really sucking on my feet. And my, like, not my first thought, probably my fourth thought was like, how long did it take before a guy who worked here stuck his dick in the tank? I can address that question. 15 minutes. As soon as he was alone with the tank. Yeah. But, like, is that how these fish survive? Is that their whole, like, what they eat?

I would hope they give them something else. But then after I did it, other people on the tour, because it was during a comedy tour, they were like, oh, I hope you didn't do that, because I've heard that you can get AIDS from... And I was like, oh, God! Great, fish AIDS. Yeah, well, that's... I remember in school, they taught us you can't get it from a hug, you can't get it from

a fish tank toilet seat, you can't get it from a diva cup. If you... We're one as someone at a diva cup, though. But if you fed those fish And then like Somebody put their feet in And the fish were like Not hungry

Gross Yeah they must have To keep them In some kind of State of hunger Yeah I don't They were all over me They loved my feet

I bet Quentin Tarantino Wants to be reincarnated As well Oh yeah Bigfoot guy Oh yeah Bigfoot guy All over me. They loved my feet. Wow. I bet Quentin Tarantino wants to be reincarnated as one. Oh, yeah. Bigfoot guy. Oh, yeah? Bigfoot guy. Wonder what the fish would do with Bigfoot.

Oh, man. Well, they'd probably die because it's too big. Mm-hmm. Too much. Too hairy. They don't have the aquarium for it. My thing that I bought off the internet that worked out is the AeroPress. Oh, yeah, the coffee.

The coffee maker for single cups. I was going to say solo cups, but that's a different thing. Yeah, for your college parties. Yeah, for my keg parties, coffee keg parties. So, oh, yeah, it's just for a just at the end of the day well just before the beginning i got uh i am a i'm a pretty easy sell for things that are being sold on the internet so yesterday and today i got things delivered that i bought off the internet oh yeah uh one didn't pan out so much so it went straight into the sally sally on bag you didn't pan out so much, so it went straight into the Sally Ann bag.

You didn't return it? I can't be bothered. It wasn't, it was like. Was it from America? Yeah, it was like 12 bucks, and I was like, no. So you came, you looked at it, you were like, nope. Yeah. What was it?

It was like a purse organizer, so you put it in your purse, and it holds everything that your purse. So when you switch purses, you just pull everything out real quick. Oh, I mean, in theory, it's a great, I've had one like a leather one. That was great that I was really pushing on a lot of people for a while. Uh, but the same cup of vagina. No way. Um, but it was just, it was really crappy quality and i was like gross um and then today though i

got something that's pretty exciting what what are you willing to share only it's only exciting to me because i it holds it's a purse that is okay i'm really big into purses it's a purse that holds your other person yeah no it's um it's like a case for my insulin pump and stuff. And then also on the other side holds all my credit cards. So when I go to a party or something, I don't have to. And you just want a little purse. So it's a little purse for all my diabetes stuff. Oh, okay.

Yeah. Yeah. But it's marketed as for diabetics? From a company called Myabetic. Oh. Myabetic. Nice. It's a play on myambiolic. I was watching

Real Housewives of Toronto, and everyone loved this woman. Anna Ann. This woman. Her handbag was a giant hand. It was a play on the word handbag, but it was huge.

It was like, it was 2000 parts. Oh, wow. And, and that was like the, the substance of an episode or just, well,

it came up a few times in an episode. It was a big, like leather glove. Oh, but like, you know, like, I don't know, thick octopus legs.

Do you collect purses? I buy, yeah. I mean, it's not, I buy a lot of purses. So what is it? Is it to go with different outfits? Just like this purse I saw in Japan and I loved it, and so I bought it. Hmm. Hmm.

So, just, it's just like a purse compulsion. Yes. Is there a male equivalent? Not that men can't carry purses. No, but somebody was saying, but I, but, was, like, maybe watches? Or hats. I know a lot of guys that buy a lot of hats. Yeah.

Hats. Baseball hats. Also like sneakers, but that's shoes also women wear shoes now. Yeah. I also love shoes. And they're not earthen. Shoes and purses. Yeah.

But yeah, purses is, it's like a very specific kind of thing. And it, but yeah, every woman I know has at least like they don't just have one part oh no that's insane right yeah you just have one but i like how many wallets do you have um probably only like three and only one that i really use all the time that i like yeah one wallet yeah yeah um but mine also contains a bunch of diabetes stuff. Yeah. Just for show? Or just cookies.

Oh, you mean to get diabetes? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Type 2. Type 2. That's what you call candy? I'm going to the bulk section to pick up some diabetes stuff. Keep trying to get it, bud. Oh, man.

Dave, what's going on with you? Well, last week, I... Well, Margo was so sick all last week, and I got sick from her, but she was... Like, we had to take her out of all of her class programs that she takes all week because her... One day... I mean, eventually mine got up as well, We had to take her out of all of her class programs that she takes all week.

Because one day, I mean, eventually mine got up as well. But one day her temperature got up to 104, which is 40 Celsius. And it's okay, apparently. If it's that high, but it responds to... Baby Tylenol? Yeah. Then you don't need to worry. Right. But it just...

And she wasn't bothered at all. Like, when I got the fever, I was KO'd. Right. Yeah, I couldn't function at all. But she was, like, she was running around, just wanting to spread the germs. Yeah. I saw on multiple occasions her either cough or sneeze directly into yours and Abby's yeah

or like she'd be on playing with an iPhone and then just sneeze onto it and not even stop

or wipe it at all eventually we did teach her to sneeze into her and cough into her elbow

which I guess is good until she gives you a hug and then just clotheslines you with a bunch of germs oh we're not that kind of family.

Oh, okay. Good night, Margot. Let me shake your hand. Fist bump. Good night. No, but yeah, you're not going to not get sick. No. If you have a child who's so gizzable.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, I was just going to say, like, abby also get sick or i not yet okay so that's what it feels like happens it feels like kid gets sick one parent gets sick then the other if we both were sick at the same time we would be if margo would be in charge of it yeah if abby had what i had then we would not be you'd need to call somehow yeah You'd need to call somehow. Yeah, we'd need to call the National Guard to kill us. And then, but all week long, I was like, okay, well, she first started getting sick on Tuesday. We have tickets to see Peppa Pig live on Friday.

Yep. It's going to be better by then. Well, Wednesday, the fever's not broken. Thursday, the fever's not broken.ursday the fever's not broken friday the fever seems to have broken um the one thing is at her age right now she's kind of stopped taking naps except when she was sick she was like it's nap time put me down yeah yeah i'm gonna nap so because i've got a lot of sneezing to do on all of the utensils. Yeah. So on the Friday, Peppa Pig Live. If people don't know who Peppa Pig is, she's a cartoon two-dimensional pig.

She's got kind of stick arms and stick legs. Yeah, and her whole family has penis-shaped heads. Are you familiar with Peppa Pig? Yes. Because you have nieces. And my lovely goddaughter. Yeah. And she's not a, it's not like an educational show.

It's just silly. Right. Silly fun. And so we didn't tell Margo about this show. And I only got two tickets. I got them back in November. You're lucky to have got them. Yeah.

What was she doing? Like four shows or something crazy? Just two. That's still, but it was, yeah. So, uh,

um, we didn't tell Margo anything about this cause she's two and like, she's never been to a show. Yeah. So how do you explain there's going to be that, that TV show you like is now gonna be translated into puppet people yeah and she's like i'll wear my peppa shirt and you're like no don't be that person who wears the shirt to the show we eventually had to tell her that's what she was going to be doing that day because we wanted her to wear peppa shirt because uh she wouldn't she had worn the

same dress for like three days in a row and was really insistent on still wearing it and eventually that is what she wore because no matter how much we explained that she was going to see peppa pig she didn't care yeah if peppa can't handle me at my worst she doesn't deserve me at my best so uh we only got two tickets so i went with her and it was 2 p.m which is normally where her nap when her nap would be and so she was pretty zonked out and we got to this Queen Elizabeth Theater, which holds maybe 2,000 people, 2,500. Yeah. And so we got this. That must have been so insane.

In there? Yeah. Yeah. So basically, I think it was like maybe kind of like seeing The Beatles. Where you just go, you can't hear any of the performance. Although it might have also been like Altamont. Yeah, right. Like where you are,

it seems like you're fine. You can kind of see the show, but you definitely hear trouble in different pockets throughout the venue. Just like screaming. And you don't know if the screaming is sad or a fight's broken out among kids and they were selling these souvenir lights sure that spin around oh yeah and they're the most visible thing and they're just made like they're like a virus. Like they're just going to sell more of them.

The more kids see them. Yeah. Oh, well, that kid has one. I need one. Well, those kids have. So, yeah. And then so we go in and we watch it and Margo doesn't react at all. We had two seats.

She sat on my lap the whole time uh and she was just so out of it but she enjoyed it like she didn't cry yeah she didn't want to leave and we like there was an intermission in the middle and we went back after the intermission the thing is the show the tv show doesn't have any singing in it like it's not a one of those kids shows with a bunch of you know trademark songs this this show the live show did it was people in like foam rubber costumes and then a lot of like puppet operators okay sort of just like but they were visible to the crowd but they were dressed all in black they were just black but you could see their faces right and then one little, like one person.

Yeah, I guess the way around that is not. Not. Scary guys in balaclavas. Or blackface. Yeah, blackface. Now, was the bar open at intermission?

Yes, the bar was open at intermission and at the beginning and the dad next to me was drinking beer. Yeah. But, yeah, uh, yeah. And there was just, uh, it was, and just one line of, uh, like it was a 20 minute intermission and there was no way you could get souvenirs in that lineup at intermission.

It was just huge. Or take kids to the bathroom. Like that seems to me like that would just be a nightmare. That's why we haven't toilet trained her yet. We knew this was coming. Concerts. I wonder that with, you know, potty training, like is there, well, like when we're 80% potty trained or even 100% potty trained and we're like going to take a long flight, can we just be like, you're going to be in a diaper. Yeah.

I mean, I've considered it. You know, if I'm like going to like something where the only option is going to be a porta potty that I have to like, wait. Yeah. Well, the bus in Japan, like somebody peed in a bottle because it was so like, there's no bathroom on the bus. The city bus? No, no, no. They picked us up at the airport and it took so long. And that was, like, always my big fear when I'm on one of those tour buses.

If there's no bathroom, I'm like. Yeah. Oh, God. I'm going to have to pee. But would you ask the driver to pull over so that you could go? It seems pretty clear that that's not an option. Right. Like.

Yeah. It is a nightmare scenario. Yeah. When you're stuck in traffic. Oh, man. Because then it's not an option. Right. Like. Yeah. It is a nightmare scenario. Yeah. Stuck in traffic. Oh, man. Because then it's like, what can you. What can you do? What's the weirdest thing you've peed in?

For me, it was a diva cup. You know, I don't know. Probably. Yeah. Like some sort of soda bottle. I think. Yeah. We had a.

We didn't have any bottles in the van one time when I was like 10. And I had to pee in a bag. I know multiple people that have got stuck in traffic and said they peed in a bag. In a bag. Wow. Well, you know, resourceful. You gotta play the hand your dough. Yeah, it was a paper bag, which was weird.

More environmentally friendly. The compost. Faster if you pee on them. Sure. I usually just go around the neighborhood peeing on people's compost. You're welcome. So that's her first ever show. Yeah.

That's what you're leaning into. She'll never remember it. She might, though. That might be. I hit her on the head right afterwards. Because you know how you have these just like weird old memories and they're not of anything significant. But you're just like, yeah, I remember that. Yeah.

Yeah. anything significant but you're just like yeah i remember that yeah yeah i think the only things i remember from like i know my family went to uh disneyland when i was about two two and a half and there's pictures of it and so i remember i kind of feel like i remember it right but it could just be because people talk about it yeah like. Like, it's weird, like, why some memories, like, so much has happened in our childhoods. But, like, vivid memories that, like, you'll just, like, I remember as a kid, like, little kid, like, I was probably four. We'd go over for a hockey night in Canada to my parents' friend's house. And we'd always eat cornflakes. Like, that was a thing, like, to watch the hockey game and eat cornflakes. And that was a thing, like to watch the hockey game and eat cornflakes. And that memory is just like,

and listen to Amy Grant, like just so sad, but like years of other stuff. Yeah. And it's weird. Cause she has things, she has things memorized. Yeah.

But I don't know if that's a memory. Well, it's, it is, it's weird because it will be something that is, like, just random. We'll be like, oh, yeah, that's my first memory. Like, watching somebody washing a dish or something like that. You'll be like, oh, but I took you all these places.

Yeah. What's your first memory? Like, is that something to ask in therapy? I don't know. But, like, when I think about, I have memories like what Erica's saying. Like, I just remembered these two things being associated.

Like when I was in, you know, like daycare when I was a little kid, like this, you know, it was just some old lady, right. Who had like six toys.

And I just remember like two of the toys were like one was oscar the grouch and one was ernie and uh she always watched the uh soap opera santa barbara oh yeah and so anytime i hear santa barbara i just like right back there yeah do you have anything like that like a bizarre well the weird thing is like i met someone who used to live or who the the family that bought our house when i was a kid that we moved out of when i was like maybe i was 10 uh but they uh i met someone who lived in that house after us and they were describing things about the house that i totally forgot but when as soon as they brought them up i was like, oh yeah,

we did have, my parents' bedroom was weird. Or not their bedroom, their bathroom. The bathroom was carpeted. Ugh, yeah. Gross. That was a real weird phase that people went through. The carpeted bathroom era? 70s mostly. Yeah, I don't... And then have you ever had

a memory and then somebody who is kind of more reliable witness than you like you're wrong. Well, and just like completely deconstructs this memory that you had, like, Oh, we never, that never,

it didn't happen like that. This is how it happened. You're like, Oh yeah. Or I've made up a whole narrative that didn't exist or like i know when i had earaches my mom my mother would give me pineapple juice and rock me in the rocking chair but like that might have happened once yeah like how often did my mom have pineapple juice in the fridge in 1984 yeah it was quite rare back then.

Your first memory. Oh, wait. Hockey Night in Canada. Hockey Night in Canada. And Corn Flakes. I don't know if that's my first memory. It's an early memory. Yeah, but it's weird. I don't know. I wonder if there's anything you'd do to, like, juice your memory. Like, to, like, kind of bring those.

But then I felt reliable. Yeah, I guess Sudoku. I remember in the movie, and this is maybe my first memory, in Arachnophobia, Jeff Daniels has this fear of spiders because he can remember in his crib when he was a baby

a spider was in his crib. Whoa. But that's... You can't remember that. No. You don't remember any crib stuff? No. I don't think so. But some people claim that they.

What's the most memorable episode of MTV Cribs you can remember? I mean, a lot of the Canadian versions I remember. Oh, sure. Ivana Centilli. Uh-huh. Maybe Classified did one. Mm-hmm. avana centilli uh maybe classified in one they are they just lived in nice lofts but not mansions like their american counterparts my my favorite was macy gray oh yeah great one did she live in a mansion who was it that lived in the mansion and like every room had like a whole group

of friends in it was amazing i think it might have been macy gray the mansion and like every room had like a whole group of friends in it? Was it Maisie Gray? I think it might have been Maisie Gray. It was just like every friend came over that day. Like, yay, Cribs Day. We're going to be on Cribs. Wouldn't you? I guess I would if I knew somebody was going to be on Cribs.

Yeah. But not the Canadian one because then I'd be in every other shot. Yeah. Yeah. Graham? Yes. What's going on with you? So once a month, past guest Paul Anthony... Once a month, I need to empty my diva cup.

Whether I need it or not. Do you wear it the whole month and just wait? I'm confused. You could. You could. Past guest Paul Anthony hosts a show called Talent Time. It's like a real... the whole month and just wait? I'm confused. You could, you could. Past guest Paul Anthony hosts a show called Talent Time

that's like a real mishmash. It's like, you know, kids will come on and sing and then he'll have like a seniors dance troupe.

It's like a show that has a variety of things. I don't know if there's a word for this kind of show. A mix-up show. Yeah. Some sort of crazy mix-up show.

A mix-up spectacle, sure. Yeah. And usually it's co-hosted by past guest Ryan. a word for this kind of mix up show yeah some sort of crazy mix up spectacle sure yeah yeah and uh usually it's co-hosted by uh past guest ryan beal who is currently in a play so i stepped into a co-host this month's edition and uh the big thing that was happening this month was they had uh two people from the uh like a bird rescue society out in delta and they brought an owl and a falcon and uh it was terrifying was this okay yeah this was at the rio this is at the rio so they had them on stage and like did they do like a lap of the big theater? I'm not joking! No, no, no. They had them leashed because they're

birds of prey. I don't know. They could do something about the mice. I don't know if there's mice in the Rio. I know there's mice all over that neighborhood. Oh, sure. In the city. They brought them in and right away i was like i'm not gonna be i'm not gonna stand for this yeah yeah yeah uh because i knew even just being around them

they're just all feathers so i was like i will i'll be allergic to them oh okay and uh so you're allergic to oh yeah yeah of course i am i was, you're allergic to feathers that aren't in a duvet? Pre-duveted? They brought... Like, they were on the leather gloves, right? Is that called a gauntlet? Yeah, maybe. Is that what that is?

Yeah. Or is that a different thing? But they brought them in in cages. And, like, the falcon had, like, a thing on its head. Like, some hat. Mm-hmm. like some hat that keeps it from seeing. It's into collecting hats. I just keep collecting falcon hats. And then they brought them out on stage, but I feel like the birds don't know where the fuck they are, and so they're under no obligation to uh behave accordingly did the owl look shocked the owl kept trying to fly away despite i guess one of its wings broke when it

was a little owlet and uh so it can't actually fly but was trying its damnedest the whole a little engine that could and uh yeah i was but i like i realized i have a healthy fear of birds not like i'm not afraid of them out in society but being very close to them i feel like big birds yeah yeah but snuffle up i guess um are you afraid of pigeons no no no but like you know like a thing that has like dinosaur claws i feel like yeah and that has the power of flight and doesn't seem happy to be where it is uh like we didn't get to like feed it a mouse or anything like that which i feel like would have been the big show right yeah now what was the what did they do with them they just talked about yeah they just came out and did kind of like the uh what's the guy that used to do the tonight show jack jungle jack hannah yeah

jack hannah it was kind of that kind of like this this is uh rudy the falcon and you know i saw a picture of you cowering behind yeah yeah behind a podium so was there a lot of people laughing at you? Yes. Yeah. I think the audience all were so afraid of clapping too loud or

whatever, startling it. It was very tense. Hey, burn! Fly! Fly! That should have been Margo's first show. Anyways, it was just really, like, I've never been that close to an owl or

a hawk or anything. Yeah, I have. Where? Oh, I come from owl country. One of your first memories Oh, I have. Yeah, I have. Yeah? Where? Oh, I come from owl country. Is that it? Yeah. One of your first memories was being picked up by an owl. Owls, falcons, hawks, jaybirds. Jaybirds? Yeah, jaybirds.

Yeah, we got jaybirds. We got jaybirds, owls, hawks, eagles. Y'all got gulls? We got gulls. Yeah. Pelicans? E-grits. Anyways, yeah.

And then the stagehand. Albatross. Have you seen an albatross? Huge. Uh, no. I saw one in a museum once. Scary? Was it scary?

It's like a hundred times as big as a seagull. Oh, wow. No, it's like hundred times as big as a seagull. Oh, wow. No, it's like three times as big as a seagull. So not as big as an ostrich? No. Nah, ostrich is pretty scary. I'd be scared if an ostrich was around. My goodness.

What are they hiding from? Themselves. Do they really put their heads in the sand? No, I don't think so. I don't know. Maybe so I don't know maybe I don't know I know lemmings don't actually follow each other off of a mountain or whatever that was

edited by a Disney documentary as like yes it's not an actual thing but yeah I don't know what's your take on birds you fine with birds you scared of birds I'm fighting pigeons who have's your take on birds? You fine with birds? You scared of birds? I'm fighting pigeons who have taken up residence on my deck.

Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. I'm fine with birds, but I'm like you. Like, if it was a big bird of prey, I wouldn't necessarily want it coming near me. And I've been attacked and shit on by birds multiple times, like more than any human should be. Like once, like the shit that hit the back of my head was so powerful. Like I was like, ow! I thought someone threw something at me.

Well. Sort of did. But it was an egg. Oh, what if it was? What if it just dropped an egg on my head? No,

I would have fell to shells. I would have fell to shells. I would have fell to shells. Yeah. Because that's the worst part is you put your hand back there and, oh, Nelly. Yeah. And you're out. You're not at home. And everyone, did people see you? Yeah, I was with friends and luckily they had a baby, so they had a lot of wipes on them.

Oh, okay. Luckily they had a baby, so. So we sacrificed it. The baby just sat on the back of my head For the rest of the day and no one noticed Also those birds did shit all over the stage They don't care They're birds

They'll go wherever they please One hole Try to give them a diva cup Oh boy They'll go wherever they please. One hole. Try to give them a diva cup. Oh, boy. Do we want to move on to overheards? Yeah. Yeah.

Life can be fun. Don't get carried away. You got to do the things you don't want to do to get through the day. You got to shine your shoes. You got to sweep the floor. You got to clean your house. You got to do some more. Take care of business. Stop Podcasting Yourself is supported in part

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you need a website yeah and here's how you do it rutabaga guy so you okay sell it say you want to sell your website No! I don't even have a website to sell Oh boy I don't even have a website to piss in You're a rutabaga guy, right? Yeah, absolutely What is that? It's a root vegetable

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Hey, yo, I'm just like my country. I'm young, scrappy, and hungry, and I'm not throwing away my shot. That's Lady to Lady. Can you keep a secret? Neither can we. Hey, MaxFun fans. It's MaximumFun.org founder Jesse Thorne. I just wanted to take a minute to congratulate our colleague Ben Partridge.

He's the host and creator of the Beef and Dairy Network podcast. And they just won the gold award for best comedy podcast in the British Podcast Awards. It's a truly remarkable honor. If you haven't checked out Beef and Dairy Network, you are in for a very, very, very special treat. It's a really remarkable and hilarious show. I would say a perfect podcast. So congratulations, Ben Partridge, and congratulations to everyone who's contributed to the Beef and Dairy Network podcast. We're proud of you. Overheard. Overheard's a segment in which, you know, you hear things. Who knows where you are? Out there in the world, for sure. Or maybe even in your own house.

Doesn't matter, as long as you overhear them. Then you bring them here on the show. We share them and oh, how we laugh. Erica, we always like to start with the guest. Thanks. Hey, you're welcome. I'm disappointed with the world out there because my overheard is not hilarious. That's fine.

It's just amusing. I was at Walmart very recently um where is a walmart there's a woman on grandview just before boundary road right right so i was there getting some photos printed in seconds and so there the photo booths are near all the DVDs and stuff. And there was this woman, probably in her late 50s, and just hearing her voice, I already knew what she was going to look like when I turned around. And she was trying to return a watched movie without a receipt. And so, of course, there's now two customer service reps involved in this transaction. And they said, well, you're sure you bought it here? And she said, well, I don't know where I bought it.

I buy movies all the time. I don't know where I bought this movie. I just know I bought it here. Look, I'm not sure if I'm lying or not, but I just assume I'm not lying. Give me my $12 back. So, did you see what movie it was? I know. And that's my big regret is I had like seconds to get those prints back to the shop.

To the lab. To the lab. The forensics lab. So we can find out who murdered all my birds um what do you buy movies still i don't uh i haven't even no i don't think i have a dvd player no but i can see people buying them if they're like movie buffs because then it comes with the commentary. She was not a buff of anything. I think she was returning Legally Blonde 2. That's what I think. Okay.

What do you think it was? Okay, this woman. She's a woman at Walmart. Yeah. Late 50s. She buys movies all the time, Dave. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm thinking something more recent than Legally Blonde.

Something more, maybe a Nicholas Sparks one. Maybe not the Notebook, but that one with the Hemsworth and Miley Cyrus. Like, The Promise. Oh, sure, yeah. Okay. Yeah. Guess? I think it was the Wild movie with Reese Witherspoon.

Oh! I like that guess. Yeah. Two out of three guesses involved Reese Witherspoon. It could be one of those DVDs that you see at gas stations where it's like, three Reese Witherspoon films. That are completely unrelated. Like, Legally Blonde 2 is the one you've chose?

Yeah. Unrelated. Legally Blonde 2 is the one you've chose? I would choose my favorite election. Favorite Reese Witherspoon movie. Oh, yeah, me too. Hands down. Anyways. Yeah.

I guess that's probably my favorite work of Reese Witherspoon. Let's go through her entire catalog. I mean, I liked her in Walk the Line. Yeah, which we saw together. Yeah, where did we see that? We saw that in Seattle. And remember I broke out laughing and Jai Harris got so mad at me. Why did you break out laughing?

Because there was a scene where Johnny Cash was like really had the shakes because she was helping him quit drinking. Right. And she brought a bowl of something in my head. I don't know why, but I just thought. It's not even funny. In my head, I thought they were. Okay. Buddy, in my head, I thought they were... Okay, I have to go home. What is it?

Okay. Okay. Okay. I need something sad. Tell me something sad. Oh, just think about Walk the Line. Oh, wow. I thought they were

craisins. And it made me burst out laughing. That she would bring her husband's drink with drinking craisins. And I was laughing this hard. And Jai got up and looked back at me and then sat five rows away.

Oh, that's right. Yeah. Oh, God. Okay. I looked it up. She was in Four Christmases. Oh, yeah. Oh, there. Okay. I looked it up. She was in Four Christmases. Oh yeah! That's her best movie.

Dave, do you have an overheard? No, but I gotta apologize, guys. It's been like weeks of me. It's fine. Okay. So the other day, this is an overseen. We were going to my parents' house for dinner.

And Margo has these shoes that are slightly too big for her. And we let her wear them because she's just going to take them off the moment we get inside. So she gets out of the car at my parents' house, starts running, and then wipes out because her shoes are too big.

Yeah. Starts running down the sidewalk, wipes out, and the moment she hits the ground, the impact just forces a bunch of farts out of her. Oh, it's going from bad to worse. Yeah. I'm falling. Well, at least that'll be over soon oh yeah yeah so pretty great that is pretty great um my overheard is uh uh courtesy of uh i guess i was waiting at a coffee shop for a friend and there was these two older guys

that were meeting because one was buying a camera from the other and they were just and there was no music in this coffee shop so i was like i guess i'm listening to these guys talk about cameras and they went on and on and on and the guy who was buying kept trying to he was like and and it was 200, right? 200? And he kept asking that question, hoping the guy I think would go, no, no, we said 180. And so

he, on the third like when he was actually counting out the money, he was counting it out like 20, 40, 60 we said 200, right? It was painful, but you know what what he got his camera and the other guy got to uh offload his camera how long were they talking for uh like i was waiting for probably 15 minutes on like a a one-time transaction of just meeting a stranger yeah like it seems if it's a car you would meet for that long but i think if

you're if you're a an old guy and you're into cameras then you meet another guy who's an old guy who's into cameras you're technically friends the second you meet each other right yeah because they were like oh they're just going on and on about different cameras they had and you know that this one guy that his wife didn't want to buying so many cameras and i was like and yet here you are buying a goddamn camera whereas any like i i don't think i've i've maybe done a couple craigslist transactions i don't remember but i witnessed them a lot at uh like sky train yeah. Cause people want to meet in a public place. Yeah.

Yeah. So there'll always be one guy waiting around with, you know, some. A lamp. Yeah. I just sold, I ordered a bar,

like a bar cabinet that doesn't fit in my apartment. So it got delivered and went right under my bed. It's still in the box. And it's so heavy. It's solid wood. So these two guys, I put it on Craigslist, finally sell it to this girl who has now whittled me down to half the price of a brand new item, but I just want it out. So these two guys show up and I go, usually when I sell something on Craigslist, I just, I take it downstairs myself, but I go, it's really, really heavy.

And they're like, please send two guys to my apartment. So, well, that's the thing. And I go, and so I go, you don't look like murder like murderers so i'm gonna go ahead and let you come into the apartment then they pull down their bell but i kept saying how heavy it was right and they're like two pretty good sized guys and they're like yeah yeah we got it and then like like it's so heavy i couldn't even drag it and so then they both bent down to pick it up and then they pulled at the same time. We're like, shit, that's really heavy. But then, so they take it away and I'm not murdered.

And the girlfriend sends me a picture the next day of it assembled and says, thanks so much. It looks great in our place. And I was like, well, this is a step too far. Yeah. Yeah. Like now. Yeah. She's Like now. Yeah. She's having sex with two guys on it.

Yeah. Here's some snaps from the after party. Yeah. They're really worn out because it was so heavy, but it holds our weight. Now we also have overheard sent in from people around the horn if you want to send one into us you can send it into spy at maximum fun dot org and uh just gotta find them here and then uh i assure you they are here on this phone uh-huh um his first one comes from Joe in Berkeley, California.

Hey, Joe. Hi, Joe. Hi, Joe. On a bus after work. Hi, Joe. Hey, Joe. Don't be sad. I overheard part of a gossip-laden conversation between coworkers.

One girl asked conspiratorially, how would you rank the Kims on a scale of Kim-ness? After a long pause, her co-worker replied wistfully, I don't believe I can answer that question. Yeah. I'd say Kim Jong-un is the most like Kim Kardashian. Yeah. And then who else? Who are the other famous Kims?

Lil' Kim. Lil' Kim. Thank you. Skim milk. Sure. Kimberly Clark, favorite Thank you. Skim milk. Sure. Kimberly Clark paper product. Kimberly Gibbler. Kimmy Gibbler.

Kimberly Gibbler. Kimberly Gibbler. That's all of them, I think. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. Yeah. We did it.

Good for us. You know what? We deserve this. Yeah. Good for us. You know what? We deserve this. Yeah.

This next one comes from somebody named Will. No last name. No location. And this is from two kids about age 10. It's coming from upstairs. Oh, no. This is two kids talking about their new band. Kid one. I'm working on this new song called

i'm the devil kid two so wait are we playing hell music now i'm in a hell music what is hell music i think i thought like lots of organs yeah but i think maybe you know your thrash meddlers think they're making hell music but it could be just like amy grant's later stuff yeah yeah yeah um i don't know i always think acdc highway to hell yeah hell's bell yeah meatloaf that out of hell but out of a hell i'm about out of a hell over you last night i was doing a show at uh the upstairs room at the fox in the projection room and there was a crazy like multiple person band uh playing downstairs and we were like what are those instruments and we looked down and it was a full drum set uh several keyboards and a giant harp

like a full size like had to three people had to lower it to put a harp bag on it really heavy um but you know a harp you don't see a lot of those on tour no um this last one comes from Georgia H. Georgia H. Christ? Sorry, that was so stupid. Now, Georgia clarifies and says, I don't know anything about chicken anatomy. Okay. So I can't speak to the truth of the claim. Well, I grew up in chicken country. Yeah, so you know.

I'm sitting in a cafe, and next to uh are an older german man and a young guy german man says yeah if you get a chicken and open it up there's just a line of eggs there's the one that's about to be hatched and then they just keep going the young guy says like a conveyor belt and the man says yes like a conveyor belt dave true or false yeah yeah yeah but they're not the same size they get smaller and smaller until they keep going into in a spiral there's a little oh that's beautiful it's it's hell music is what it is yeah yeah um did you grow up around because you lived out in the weeds? Lived out in the weeds?

No chicken experience. No chicken experience. It's all horses. McChicken experience. Oh, much, much McChicken experience. A couple of goats? Really? There's goats on the racetrack.

Okay. Which would sometimes headbutt me into the stall whilst I was cleaning it. Okay, they weren't on the track, though. They weren't getting trampled by horses. Yeah, well, sometimes one of the horses would be sick and we'd try to put a goat in its place. It just got its ass kicked. And racing lane 12-8, tiny little horse.

He's stuck in the fence. So angry. In addition to overheards that are written in we also accept your phone calls if you would like to call us hey do it we got nothing to hide you'll call it you'll get a message and they'll say leave a message and then you leave a message and your message will be going to this phone number. 1-844-779-7631. That's one. Ugh. SpyPod 1. Like these people hang out. Hi, Dave Graham and honorable guests.

This is Derek from Vancouver calling in with an overheard. I was in the grocery store the other day, and I didn't get any contacts for this conversation, but there was a kid standing near the till, and she just looked at her mom and said, the crunchy one, mom, I have, like, no teeth. Thank you. There is a phase when you're a kid where you're, mom, stop buying all these crunchy things. Yeah, yeah.

Buy me a Big Turk. Yes. Or sugar, because my teeth are falling out. Buy me some Craisins. Steal them from old Johnny Cash. It's the next best thing to alcohol. Here's your next one. Hi, Dave and Graham and Paul F. Tompkins.

This is Alan calling from Lenside, Pennsylvania. I recently overheard a co-worker say to another one, have you ever seen Scooby-Doo? And the co-worker replied, no, I don't like dogs. So stop asking. I also haven't seen Paw Patrol.

I also haven't seen... There was a Snapchat filter the last couple days that was Scooby-Doo. I wonder if that was the first time in decades Scooby-Doo has been relevant. They still release movies. It's all over Netflix. Mala loves Scooby-Doo. What is...

Like current era? Current era. Wow. Oh, and they still make new ones? Like new animated ones? Not new Freddie Prinze, Sarah Michelle Gellar ones? No, no, no. She watched, I put on the live, like with real humans, and she immediately was like,

nope, I don't like this. I'm not a Matthew Lillard fan. Thank you. Yeah, but they still like, they just released a movie like last year that was Kiss. Kiss and Scooby-Doo. She sings Kiss songs now. She loves it. God, Kiss really know what they're doing when it comes

to recruiting the new fans. Did you tweet about Kiss and like how great they would have been if they had broken up in the 70s? Yeah, yeah. That is true. Yeah, like they'd be just so cool. Like iconic. Yeah, yeah, like these guys and they used to dress up like, like spooky guys.

I got some of their merch. What? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. But also, hey, don't call in and say, hey, Paul F. Tompkins. Look, we have a perfectly good guest.

Yeah. One of the best, I would say. One of the best in the best. Now she feels like shit. That's right. It's Erica F. Sigurd good guest. Yeah. One of the best, I would say. One of the best in the best. Now she feels like shit. That's right. It's Erica F. Sigurdsson. Yeah. Here's your final overheard.

Hi, Dave Graham and possible guest. This is Siri calling in from Victoria with an overheard. I was at Valley Village today, and in the checkout line, there was a man playing a pan flute at his baby, who was in the shopping cart, and he holds up the pan flute and asks to the rest of the checkout line, does anybody know what this is? And this other guy calls out, pan flute. And the first guy says, oh yeah, pan flute.

My baby loves the pan flute. And I thought it was pretty good. Do you think he was playing a pan flute he found at Veljumilis? I think he was playing a used pan flute. And then kissed that baby. Yeah, my baby loves this pan flute. My baby loves herpes. But a pan flute is like the wooden.

With all the little pipes? Yeah. And you're going. It's like the harp of the mouth oh yeah well no there's a mouth isn't that the one that's like is that that's the jaws harp or the jews yeah isn't it that's the same thing yeah but there's also the i think a mouth harp is your, um, harmonic. Harmonic. Um,

now. Harmonic on Lewinsky over here. Um, that's a, that's a harmonica with a little stain on it. There we go. Saved it. Yeah.

Um, now. Judge Ito. Um,, Erica. Yes. That brings us to the end of the show. Which is sad. Yeah.

I mean, we had a lot of fun. I did. I had a lot of fun. Did you end up getting rid of those pigeons? Or are they still roosting? They're pretty much gone. Okay. There's one pigeon that occasionally will come back and just quickly land on the balcony. And then I run and I have, I bought an owl that makes owl screeching sounds that sits on our dresser and looks out the window at the deck.

And so I open the window and I turn it on and he flies away. You don't keep it outside? Well, no, because. No, because the pigeons have stolen it before. Yeah. I have one wired outside, but it's just like the front. There's, it's not, it's from the dollar store. Right. I have one wired outside, but it's just like the front. It's from the dollar store. Right.

And it blew over, so now it's like at a 90 degree angle. What's your annual fake owl budget? I have spent getting rid of these pigeons at least $100. Wow. But they shit all over the deck.

Yeah. So, you know what? You gotta go. Although Jade took down all the spikes and said I was being mean. Oh. Because they just wanted a place to rest. And then in the day. And shit. And shit. And I was like, nope. Spikes went back up. Good for you. Well, there's

plenty of other places to rest. There's an entire giant Stanley Park. Yeah. They can also rest in the sky. On the cloud. Geez, do I have to think of everything?

Where can people find you if they want to find you online, where you're performing, all that kind of stuff? Where can pigeons find you?

Pigeons? I don't need to tell them. They can find me online at ericasigerton.com And if you want to know my dates from February of this year They're still up there

Okay Relive the majesty See what you missed At ericacomic on Instagram Or erica underscore sigerton on Twitter There you go That's all the big one You on Snapchat?

I'm not. Fair enough. I downloaded it. It confused me. I deleted it. I'm 97. There was a Scooby-Doo filter. Yeah.

I don't use it. I just use it for the filters. But there's all these filters on your Facebook now. On your iPhone, I mean. They're just like three filters? It was like, put a face. But I couldn't. Anyways, I'm 98.

Oh, congratulations. Thank you. Two more years and you get an autographed portrait of the queen. I already have six. I guess probably you can buy those at thrift stores when people die. Yeah. Although in a couple of years, she'll be dead. She'll be dead. And then you'll be getting Prince Charles.

I guess King Charles. King Charles. Boy, he's been waiting a be getting Prince Charles. I guess King Charles. King Charles. Boy, he's been waiting a long time. Yeah. I bet. Yeah. The problem is, once he becomes the king, like, people Googling King Charles are just going to find Spaniels.

Well, as far as I'm concerned, that's the best case scenario. Well, thank you very much for being our guest. Thank you for having me. And you, listeners out there, thank you for listening. Come see us in Toronto. It might be sold out. It might be. There might be another show.

I don't know. We don't know yet, but we'll know soon. And if you like the show, head over to MaximumFun.org. You can see pictures and videos relating to the content of this podcast. You know, let's see. Fake owl. Sure. Diva cup.

There will be a picture of a diva cup. Craisins. Yeah. The funniest thing in the world. They are pretty funny. And if you like the show, please do tell your friends and come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned.

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