Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 51 - Kevin Lee

Episode Date: February 23, 2009

Improviser Kevin Lee joins us and we talk giant burgers, we get fed up with blokes, we do some Graham's dad movie reviews, and we play a round of Fisher or Adams.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! All right, everybody, welcome to episode number 51 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark, and joining me as always is the man who put the man in I Am Iron Man, Dave Shumka. Yeah, long negotiations to get that one word into that one line from that one song about that one thing. It used to be I am iron.

Yeah. So you got there and you're like... They knew it needed another syllable. They were like, I am iron... Table? Yeah. Jean Francois? I am iron small boy?

We'll workshop it. And that voice you just heard is our guest this week. A very, very funny and talented gentleman. Works with the Sunday Service improv group that does their show every Sunday here in Vancouver at the Hennessy.

Mr. Kevin Lee. Hello. Thanks for joining us. Thanks for having me. We were saying just before the podcast, you were one of the people when we first started the podcast, nearly a year ago, one more week, and we've got an entire year's worth of podcasts. And we came up with kind of like a preliminary list. And you were on that list, and we've only been able to corner you just now. Yeah, I'm an elusive bird.

You're like the magpie you're a rare bird that's right do you want to get to know us i do okay leave that in it's a good jingle um so kevin uh let's get to know you first the one thing we were talking about in the kitchen, I mean... Well, I'll let you decide. What's new with you? What's new with Mr. Kevin Lee? I don't know.

Not a whole lot. I'm not good at talking about myself. Okay. Well, no, you were telling us that you... Because you had some really cool photos up on Facebook from you traveling down in the south. That's right, yeah. Of the United States.

That was the last time when you guys tried to get me I was like, I gotta leave the country. I gotta avoid this at all costs. So my girlfriend Danielle and I decided to buy some cheap tickets round trip to Wichita, Kansas. How do you get cheap tickets to there? I'm on a website.

Usually those flights are oversold. I know. Everybody's lined up. Is it the same thing when people go to Hawaii and they're all wearing Bermuda shorts? Was everybody wearing like overalls and a 10 gallon hat? They give out some belay. They give you a piece of hay

in your mouth. And here's your gay conspiracy. And they give it to you and you're just like, oh, really? So they force kids to wear mittens? Wow. But yeah, so we flew down there and rented a car. What kind of car did you get? A Chevy Cobalt LS.

That's a good looking car. It was. A lot of trunk space, which was crucial. Was that a subcompact? I don't understand the difference. But yeah, and we did a big tour of the U.S., a big circle through, I think, eight or nine states. So where'd you go?

We went to Kansas, a bit of Oklahoma, Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi. Where'd you go to Texas? Oh, we kind of went down Tornado Alley, which is like that kind of top little square on the left-hand side. You could tell I was the navigator. No, I wasn't. And we went through Lubbock. When you were in Lubbock, did you visit Woody Allen?

Buddy Holly. Mom's vagina? Same glasses. Woody Allen and Buddy Holly have the same glasses, so I get them confused. But only one starred in Annie Hall. Which one was it? Is there a museum to him? Buddy Holly, I don't know.

I was going to make some sort of joke. Everything down there is a barbecue museum as well? Yeah, I think so. There's a barbecue museum? Is that what you said? I don't know. I made up a Buddy Holly barbecue museum just now. That sounds pretty good.

You just get a bucket of wings and walk around and see all his gold records. Yeah. His skeleton. No, there's no skeleton there. I had to be actually different. They never found the body. Actually, his glasses were made out of bones. That was actually part of his body.

Yeah. There's x-rays of it. It's very fascinating creepy uh a little bit of cartilage in there anyway um the uh we almost got in a car crash in lubbock i'm driving around but i saved both of our lives with some deft deft maneuvers but anyway you're like get back in tornado alley we gotta ride the tornado out of here go straight into it good Do it for the crash. Yeah, if I learned anything from the movie Twister,

that is the way. You head into the tornado. It was like point break for tornado chasers. You gotta find the perfect tornado. That's what they teach you in driving school. You always turn into the tornado. Not out of the tornado. That's right. You turn out of it, you will get a ticket.

Points. You won't pass your test. so you went through oklahoma texas where else louisiana um mississippi wow wow that's the southeast arkansas missouri a bit of missouri and then kansas i feel like i'm missing a state but probably not that sounds about right tennessee no oh yeah we did we did yeah that's right we hit the corner of tennessee because we got to Memphis. It was like Missouri and Tennessee. We're like barely there. So what was your...

How long was this trip? It was a month. It was like four weeks. Wow. We camped the whole way. The only night we didn't camp was in Vicksburg. We stayed in an old,

old creepy mansion. Ooh. Yeah, well, turn of the century. I like this. Plantation mansion, yeah. And you inherited it if you survived the night. You guys only made it to 1 a.m.

That's right. We just got the hell out of there. There was, what was it? There was different rooms. Like, we had to pick a room, and they all had kind of like a different southern theme. And there was one called the Confederacy Room. And I was like, man, this room is so comfortable. It almost makes me want to give up my slaves.

But I was fortunate that they weren't giving me a guided tour, because they would have been like, you have to leave now. What were the other Southern themes? Lemonade, Emeril, Case of the Vapors, Stella, Sugarcane. No shoes. Seersucker in breeding. No,. I don't know. There's no bear foot in breeding. No, the South was very lovely. I don't mean to disparage it at all, but it was quite nice.

So did you meet people that were very... Hospitable? Yeah, like the Southern hospitality. Yeah, for the most part. Could you count on the kindness of strangers? Always? We didn't really have any kind of instances where we were... Oh, actually, there is one good instance of the kindness of strangers in memphis

i want to hear it so um we had to drive to the outskirts of memphis to get um some film for daniela's camera because she had the very particular camera she has lots of beautiful photos of the trip and we uh we got there and she went inside and i was waiting in the car because i don't do girly shit like film and i uh so you were in there singing along to uptown girl. And so she went in there and then she came out and she was laughing and I was like, what happened? She's like, Oh,

this guy, I was in line. I was talking to the cashier, telling her from Canada. And this guy behind me was like, have you had barbecue yet? And she was like, no.

And then he went to this big detail thing of like where to go and gave her directions. And so we started pulling out. We're like, yeah, maybe we'll go find that place. And just as we got to like the main street the guy pulled up and his car right next to us and he was like hey are you guys hungry right now follow me and

he drove us all the way there wow and then he got out and then he went inside and he like in he before we got out even out of the car and he came back out with the manager of the place it was like this is daniela and kevin this is trevor this is the best barbecue place and then like we shook his hand and he was kind of like yeah this guy he doesn't work here he's just a really big fan and um yeah it was the best barbecue we'd ever had it was amazing that's wow so that that was in memphis that's correct yeah that's because the you you see on like those like cooking travel shows like people in the deep south seem like they're very, very proud of the barbecue situation in their town. Oh, yes.

And with good reason. Good reason. But that barbecue in Memphis was out of control. What did you do? Some ribs? We got the big sampler plates. There was everything, including barbecue spaghetti. What?

What? No lie. Tell me more. Tell me more through the grill. It's just an empty plate with a paper. I owe you barbecue spaghetti. Give me your address, and I will mail it to you. And then I got a soggy envelope with a hole in the bottom.

Somebody stole my barbecue spaghetti! Mail fraud. Yeah, no, it was just everything. Pulled pork and dry rub ribs and then wet rub ribs. Wet rub ribs. And then a medium dry, medium wet. Kind of a half fondled rib.

400 pieces of paper towel. It was incredible, though. Were there any vegetarian options? No. What about the cornbread? Had a lot of meat in it. Yeah, I think they had little cornbread little biscuit things you could eat.

They were basically like grease. Just somehow congealed grease in a shape. It was pretty good. So you were down in the south like grease just like somehow congealed grease in like in like a shape it was like pretty yeah it's pretty good so uh you were down in this in the south for a month driving around you were camping so i assume this is somewhere around kind of summertime it was actually no it was fall we went there for the month of october so october to like november it's warm enough to camp there it wasn't the beginning and it wasn't really at the end like at the end it started getting like

to freezing temperatures at night wow and uh and yeah so we had some cold nights one night where we drank a lot of bourbon and thought we had food poisoning the next day when we were like unbelievably sick that's where that's why we decided to be in the in the mansion was the next night because we were like too much too much treat yourself yeah yeah ghosts bust it that's thatust it. That's an amazing... Because every time that you hear of people kind of going on a trip, it's always let's go to Europe, or let's go to

you know, the kind of Japan, or Thailand. Or if we go to America, let's go to New York, or Hawaii. Or Boston, or Chicago. But we thought, let's go to America's Japan. That doesn't make any sense. Let's go to America's Japan. That doesn't make any sense. Let's go to America's Japan. They're the craziest comic books in the South.

No, I'm just kidding. They probably do. How many comic books did you read while you were down there? Spider-Man wears a hat in the South. He wears a straw hat. Sometimes a baseball cap. He swings off of cows. Sticks to the side of a cow.

That's pretty amazing that's like that's a really how is it you're traveling the whole time with a girlfriend is that bring you closer together

does it bring you to the breaking point a little bit of both yeah one to the other and then back again I think because she doesn't

have a license and I do so I was the sole driver the entire time but she was also the sole navigator and I'm like terrible with like I think. Because she doesn't have a license, and I do, so I was the sole driver the entire time, but she was also the sole navigator, and I'm terrible with... I think I have a good sense of direction, but it turns out not so much.

You didn't have, like, what do you call it, GPS? We tried to get a GPS. Daniela's friend had a GPS machine, and he was going to send it to us in the mail, and he never did. Same with your barbecue spaghetti? Barbecue spaghetti, exactly. Same shipment? send it to us like in the mail and it just like never he never did same with your uh your exactly same shipment actually my sister sent me her like her like her i trip thing for her uh for her ipod to like so you can get you can play your ipod in the car on the radio and uh and that that did show up an empty envelope with the hole inside of it and i was like she mailed it in a paper

envelope we're just like what put a little piece of machinery yeah the small paper envelope was like that'll go. Just threw it into it. It'd be funny if they rolled up a note that just put it inside that said, nope. That was it. Dumb. Thank you for the iPod. Wow.

So that's pretty incredible. And so you both just quit your jobs or you didn't get time off? Yeah. I actually got a job shortly before going, and then going became a reality, and so I had to quit my job, and then I got it back again subsequently afterwards. Now, how do you do that? Because that's a thing you can put off. I would have burned all my bridges. I begged those bridges to not go on fire, because, yeah, I knew this trip would... It was a bit of a bit of a dent in the old pocketbook so needed that me the job afterwards how

did you how did it come to the point because with a trip it always seems like there's always a way to cancel it if anybody seen revolutionary road it's one of the main plot points oh nobody needs to see that is what I'm saying all right there's a listener out there that's seen Revolutionary Road. We get a lot of film buffs. Yeah. But because, like, my inclination would just, hey, I got a job. I guess we're not doing that thing anymore. How did you figure out that, yeah, we're still going to do it, even though it seems like

we don't have any money to do it? It just became, like, throw caution to the wind simply because I almost never do that kind of thing. Nice. I'm looking young and I'm not beholden to any kind of job. I don't know. Now's the time to get into debt. I don't know. It's a buddy that will be around forever.

I don't know. So I just figured I'd just dive headlong into it and it worked out all right. Fantastic. Anything else going on lately? No, not really. Just doing the show. How was Valentine's Day?

Was that okay? It was fine, actually. My girlfriend and I are not really into the whole obligations of love signals. That's not a sentence, but you know what I mean. I don't even know what you were trying to say. Obligation of love signals. That's why it doesn't... I'm like translating my

sentences before I translate it into Japanese then translated it back again nothing really makes sense anymore it was your early 80s equivalent of she blinded me with science the obligation of love signals too many things to consider

so it was just like a low keykey yeah no yeah nothing actually she she works she uh works at a bar so she's working that night so i brought her a butter tart and she um gave me some wine and a lovely note and that's kind of it pretty low you need yeah that's all i saw you guys uh the day after valentine's day i went out for breakfast. Lots of couples in fights. Yeah. I think Valentine's Day, I think that's what it creates

more than it creates a good time for anybody. I think there was a lot of fights at the restaurant that I was at. There was a couple next to me on one side and another just behind where I was sitting. And they were just fighting the whole time I was eating breakfast. What were they fighting about?

I think it was probably because somebody fucked up Valentine's Day. There was no butter tart. They didn't feel, they did, they did have the obligation of love signals and did not fulfill that obligation. They had breakfast for dinner the night before and then went out for breakfast in the morning. They're like, you couldn't think of anything else?

Yeah. Well, Dave, let's get to know you. What's your Valentine's Day? Abby and I, on Valentine's Day, we drove down to visit my brother. And your new niece. And my new niece. Oh, congratulations. In Seattle.

He's a two-time uncle. I'm a three-time uncle. Three-time uncle, Dave Shumka. I'm a five-timer. Wow. Really? Yeah, my sister's got a lot of uncle. I'm a three time uncle. Three time uncle Dave Shumka. I'm a five timer. Wow. Really? Yeah. My sister's got a lot of babies.

Just one sister? One sister. Cracking them all out. Cracking them? Cracking them. Cranking? Cracking them. Yeah.

So we drove down to Seattle and we didn't really, we drove through Seattle. Like every time we go down, we just go to my brother's house and then come home. There's no visits to Kurt Cobain's grave. There's no Pike Place Market. No, we stop at the Tulalip Casino outlet mall on the way down, and then on the way

back home, we stopped at Northgate. You ever do the Puyallup? No. You can do it at a trot. You can do it at a gallop. You can do it at a gallop. You can do it real slow so your heart don't palpitate. Oh, man. That's really

like a BC thing that everybody does that. I didn't grow up out here, so that's new to me. Not even in Washington State do they get that. They're like, what? People in Puyallup are like, never saw it. It's the only place that they advertise it as a BC. I was like, maybe. Yeah, so we

just basically went to Seattle for the day. It was lovely. And then came home the next day. And What do you think of your new niece? Yeah, she's fine. Top drawer? Yeah, she's good. What's her name? Kate.

Kate. Catherine. Kate. Catherine. Catherine. Kate with a C. Do you think if you're given a name as classy as Catherine that you would just keep it like Catherine? How come they've already shortened it to Kate for her? I haven't asked. We have our grandmother is named Catherine.

Okay. And she is a different shape. And also my mother. Her first name is Catherine, but she goes by her middle name. I like it. That's a good name, Catherine. But for a baby? Classic. It's kind of an old woman name.

Because maybe I think that just because it's my grandma's name, but... And Catherine Hepburn. Right. But what about Catherine Zeta-Jones? Oh. Delightful. Yeah, she's a top drawer lady. Only moderately old.

What is she, Welsh? She's not moderately old. What does that mean? She's got really high standards for young ages. I don't know what I'm talking about. She, uh... I got really high standards for young ages. Her butt went under that string in the entrapment.

Yeah, exactly. A string. She went under that light string. Well, it was a string signifying light. It was a practice string for when she had to go under light. Yes. But you don't... I don't know if she... I don't... The only scene I remember is her going under the strings. Who are we talking about now? Your niece?

No, no. My grandmother. When she and Sean Connery entrapped a... some kind of fortune? I think it was the Pink Panther. So it was good? Yeah. I mean, whatever.

Well, yeah. Basically, my dad always says, okay, so you guys left at nine. We'll see you at noon. Because my dad had gone beforehand. But it never takes us three hours because we always stop a couple times on the thing on the trip and it's easily an hour across the border and so it's like five or six

hours to get down there my dad is having none of it it's like oh you guys are late like he called us at noon and we were waiting at the border well that's good what your dad leaves 6 30 7 in the morning yeah and he has the uh nexus Pass to get over the border super quick. I thought he was going to have, like, he has a car stashed on the other side of the border, and he has, like, a little trail that he uses. He just, like, parks these little trails and gets another, like, spare car. He's a smuggler. He has, like, a Kawasaki Ninja under some brush.

He has some brush and pulls it up. Puts on a wig. A helmet wig. Built together, like, one of those Rasta hats with the dreads coming out of the back. But yeah, so it's really just a lot of driving. And like you,

my girlfriend doesn't have her license. Women. But she doesn't, and I'm I'm alright. Things. Sorry. I'm a very timid driver, I would say. So I'm like, oh, the exit is in three miles. We're not going to make it.

I'm not going to be able to change two lanes by then. So we're just going to go somewhere else. Four more exits from here. Stop in the freeway. Let's all calm down. Let's take a breather. Let's consider, do we really want to do this or not. Yeah, I had some...

Brought home my two favorite chocolate bars. We stopped at every store picking up all the peanut butter Twixes or Twix PB. Can you not get that up here? Is that the thing? No, you can't. Why not?

I don't know. Do candidates want you to have it up here? Is that the thing? No, you can't. Why not? Really? I don't know. Do candidates want you to have it or what? Is this CRTC for chocolate reasons to care? Yeah, because there's some kind of... The Canadian Radio and Television Commission controls that chocolate bar. It's taking jobs away from Canadian chocolate bars. That's right.

And the other one is Take Five. What's that one? Which we have something called Max Five, which is essentially the same thing. But to the max. But it's not as good. And Take Five is a little... It's not a whole chocolate bar. It's the size of a turtle.

And it's chocolate. Like the bar it's like a the size of a turtle uh and it's chocolate like the animal yeah with with uh i think caramel peanut butter peanuts and a pretzel covered in chocolate that's overkill it's really good why do you need peanut butter and a peanut i don't know if it has both i'm just uh that seems like a bit much in my mind i don't know if it has both. That seems like a bit much. I've been creating it in my mind. I don't quite remember what's in it. Can we just call that a shump bar? We can call it a pretzel. A pretzel? I thought it was a pretzel.

Oh, a pretzel. Pretzel for princes. What would be in a pretzel? Gold flakes. Gold flakes. Chocolate, I assume, would hold this together. A small bit of hair from a young virgin. Yeah, and a layer of fudge.

It's a pencil. Some peasant tears. How much would that cost? You know, it would be sold by weight. It would just be sold as a bar. That's right. So I think it would be like $7 or $8 an ounce. Yeah, that sounds about right.

You would just chop some off. In like a meat slicer. A couple of land titles. But I was thinking, I think it was with Olivia, we were talking about when a dog, or when two animals of different species become best friends, there's always a news story about it. And then I was just thinking when you mentioned the princel.

Which is now a thing. There's always a news story about whenever there's a $100 hamburger. Or like a really expensive poor person's food. Have you ever seen a... For some reason I was looking up photos and I got on like a thing on Google Images. photos and i i got on like a thing on google images and then there was all these for some reason the word that i typed in led to one photo of a guy with a giant hamburger and then i started just looking at for pictures of guys with giant hamburgers like the huge ones that look like they can't like the the bun is basically like a pizza you know like that's how big it is and then there's like a burger situation happening underneath that bun yeah um what's going on with that what's going on with giant burgers because

there's a like there was an endless amount of photos with of guys with giant burgers yeah like novelty size it's a novelty burger you were um earlier to bring it back to uh the southern home cooking you were talking about uh uh travel like eating shows uh i watched the episode of anthony bourdain's no reservations when he went to the southwest called eating out right like it's like down on food eating out and that's when it goes to Australia it's going down it's hosted by two lesbians

because other than lesbians who would do that gross yeah and he did a one episode in the Southwest, and I think he went to... Alice Cooper owns a restaurant, I think in Arizona. What?

It's called Feed My Frankenstein. Oh, yes! That's high five right there. All right, yes! And it has a really, really long hot dog. Alice Cooper endorses. Well, that they sell. So I'm sure he endorses it.

But, like, say you really love hamburgers. Like, you're of a Jughead status. Right. Or Whippy. Whippy. Whippy. That's it. Whippy. It's his depressed brother

so you love hamburgers wouldn't you rather have many like because this you know, you know, like, you finish a hamburger, that's kind of a... Isn't that... That's a good feeling when you finish a hamburger. But if you just get one giant hamburger, you're not... Oh, it's a bad feeling. Yeah, like, by the time you finish that, you feel like you're probably knocking on death's door, right? I think it's kind of like a... I think you probably get your picture taken.

You take a picture in the paper. It's probably free if you finish it. I think that's usually the challenge. Yeah. Like, you can finish it in an in the paper it's probably free if you finish it i think that's usually the challenge yeah something like you can finish it in an hour and it's free and if you don't then it's like 20 bucks or something that you just paid for this giant for this giant heart attack um at wing nuts the wing place they're really spicy sauce so if you have the really spicy hot wings uh you get your picture taken and it goes on their wall of flame yeah i like that is there a lot of people on their wall of flames the thing like uh because with those

like it's because it is about the size of a toilet seat right like the hamburger it's about the size of a child's table yeah right the kids table they got like a little like it's like that big it's pretty big i think it's a good size yeah yeah like so it's like a medium pizza with another medium pizza with a hamburger in the middle and a bunch of other stuff i don't know how but when did that become a thing like because i expected when i typed that into google images to just come up with one photo or maybe like one photo but all of the same guy like maybe like 10 photos but it's all the same guy eating this giant burger. The little Japanese hot dog champion.

There was dozens and dozens and dozens of them. It's not an uncommon thing. I think maybe we have to reevaluate our culture. There's one in Vancouver. I don't know where it is, but there's at least one in Vancouver that's like one of those giant ones that you can wrap your arms around and hug and eat. Yeah. It's like one of those hamburger pillows that you used to be able to buy,

but it's an actual hamburger. Like Juno's telephone. Graham, let's get to know you. What was the thing I wanted to talk about? Oh, this week I went. Former guest Morgan Brayton is teaching, you know Morgan. I know Morgan. She teaches at Vancouver Film School. And so she asked if I would come in and talk to the class about being, like, writing comedy.

Because that's what she talks, that's she teaches there is a sketch writing class and uh so we went out after the class to go have drinks and the this was a weird thing because it was in a tiny little bar so there's only about like maybe like eight people there's a place called yaggers oh do you know what i'm talking about it's on the table yeah yeah do you know you can dance on the tables You can? I don't know I don't know if they're going to stop you But we were sitting at this table

And then there was a table next to us That had kind of an older gentleman Was there with two much younger women No they weren't prostitutes But you got the feeling that they were on their way there Like this was a stop't prostitutes, but you got the feeling that they were on their way there. Like this was a stop before prostitutes. They're doing their residence.

He was the pimp. He just picked them up and I don't know. So there's like only eight people in the bar. Let's make fun of prostitutes. And that's including the bartender. And then these girls, you know, we're sitting at the table right next to them. And then the girls just start making out right next to us. And usually that... But I looked

and then I was watching and it didn't seem in any way, shape or whatever. It wasn't sexy at all. And it really didn't seem like it was actually a realistic thing that was happening. It was like they were play kissing. Like they were fake kissing.

Was Katy Perry's I Kissed a Girl playing? No, that was the thing. There was no impetus for this at all. Was Katy Perry's Hot and Cold playing? It was actually Katy Perry kissing. Oh, okay. Yeah. But they started kissing.

And so everybody in the bar was watching them, which I think was maybe the intention. This was like an attention. Wait. But the only person not watching was the elderly gentleman they were with. He was on his phone text messaging the whole time. Yeah, but you know what he was text messaging about. Guess what I'm doing? Honey.

He's texting his wife. What's happening at my table? He said I couldn't do it. My infidelity scavenger hunt. Done it. Snap the photo, send it to you. Winner, winner. And if these girls had gone the next level,

I think then maybe I would be telling them from kind of a different... If they got play naked? Yeah, if they were plain naked. Well, they were already... But then they left with the guy, so then the mind only leads you to believe that there was going to be a continuation of that. They're going to be having sex with him and he would be texting still. How old was he? There seems to be a generation cutoff for texting. Say that these two gals were in their early mid-20s.

He was in his late, early 50s. No, late 40s, early 50s. Okay, I know the guy. Yeah. I got him. Jimmy Threesome, as he's known on the Pender Street circuit. But I don't know. So I think maybe for the first time in my life,

I was witness to the birth of a threesome. I've never been around a threesome. I've heard about them after the fact. You've certainly seen them on screen. Certainly. In IMAX 3d um dick bundle well we didn't talk about that i don't know i don't know if i can i think i might get in trouble if i talk about that dick bundle is a guy that we know he's a guy he's a guy i went to university with the guy kevin works with yeah he's a guy, you know, he's got a bundle of dicks on his back.

Like a quill of fat. I was trying to leave it classy, but to give it the cover of that Led Zeppelin album. I took it to the remedial class. So I don't know, that seems like, I've never seen the birth of a... Now you can't go back, though. Now you have to see the birth of, what, a foursome of a gigantic orgy? Yeah, I guess. But not the whole thing, just the birth.

Just the birth. You've got to leave before that. Yeah. After that. You know, I was talking to somebody about, because, like, that's a thing you always hear about, like orgies. But then. You hear about it all the time. No, but, you know, like, you hear about them.

I don't know anybody that's ever. Is it orgy or orgy? How would I know? But I've heard about them. But then like, yeah, I don't know anybody who's been to one. And certainly I was talking to somebody and they were like, imagine the smell. And I was like, well, there you go. I think I'm out.

Yeah. Because I never had before. But then again, I never thought to myself, how does a threesome ever start? At a place called Jaeger's on a Tuesday night. Yeah, I don't know anyone who's ever been to an orgy. As far as I know. I probably do. I know a lot of creeps.

I've never met... You do hang out at a lot of... Unseemly circles. But I don't get in depth with them, so to speak. I've never met anybody who survived an orgy. I knew it would go in. Don't come out again. Write me.

So anyway, so that was the big... Oh, and then, you know, I saw a fist fight on Valentine's Day night. Oh, my God. Yeah. Was it between a couple? Because those are the worst ones. It was between a group of... It kind of looked like what I remember a fight looking like in high school,

like three punches thrown, and then that was it. Then the principal steps in. Yeah. It was weird that the principal was there. He was smoking with the kids. And, yeah, and then the morning after Valentine's Day was there. I saw a lot of couples fighting. So that's really kind of...

And the rest of the week, I've just been buried in work. Old man Richardson's got me. Your TV show, with you, Paul Bay, Erica Sigurdsson, and Charlie Demers, all friends of the show, premieres this Tuesday, the 24th. Okay, at what time? It is at 6.30 and repeated, I think, at 11 o'clock. On City TV, Channel 13 in Vancouver.

Check it out. Check it out. Yeah. Is it something on the internet or will be on the internet? Yeah, there will be a significant internet portion of the show. Like a YouTube uploads daily type thing. You guys have listeners across

the globe here. We actually got an email this week from a listener who is residing in Jordan. Which I thought was... A person? No, just kidding. I thought it was from that show...

Basketball games. No, something Jordan. Crossing Jordan? I thought it was from that show basketball games something something Jordan judging Amy that's what I meant life on Mars have you ever watched Crossing Jordan yeah I like Jill Hennessy it's really great

she's got her catchphrase don't you cross me is that kind of a show? Yeah. Yeah. Don't cross Jordan was the original name of the show. And they were like, nah, nobody's going to watch that. They shortened it to DCJ.

Okay, let's move on. No, don't. Time to signal me. Well, since we are 51 episodes in and... I thought you were gonna say 51 minutes and i was like unwieldy for a segment and um we uh graham and i talked about this off air uh we've we did 50 episodes of overheards and now we're done no more overheards oh man just kidding hey hey overheard overheards uh kevin lee it is our tradition here at

stop podcasting yourself to let the guest lead with an overheard if you have one um i've kind of got it's kind of a overheard slash overseen it's not really it's probably something i'm sure somebody's already said something like this. You know what? Serve it up like it's gold, Kevin. Yeah, serve it up like it's gold.

Every overheard is a beautiful butterfly. It's a snowflake. It's a unique snowflake-shaped butterfly. Yeah. So, yeah, this was just the other day. I was out on Main Street and right outside where JJ Bean is. I call it Hey Hey Bean

because I'm Spanish. I call it Je Je Bain because it's French. We're outside there and we're walking by and there's a... Wait, I call it JJ Bean because I'm English. Not JJ Plain. I'm sorry. Hey. Plain. I'm sorry. Okay, I like to interrupt also.

So I was interrupted by this guy on the street. Start again. Okay, so I was out on Main Street and I was walking across the street, a different street, main street and i uh was um walking across the street a different street and i um a car was gonna turn like it was going to turn in the sky this old man on a bike everybody must know this type of old man like an old man who rides his bike all the time he's a bit of a coot coot yeah i guess who's like totally bundled up has like milk crates bungee corded to his like it's like strangely fancy like mountain bike that has like shocks on it. Everyone knows a guy like that. His face is totally bundled up with three toques

and his face is just this weird wrinkly circle in the middle of it. Some people call him Uncle. And so he came up on the side of this car that was turning and he went, Hey, why don't you look around once in a while? And then he turned to me and went, Bitch.

And then dragged away. He just went bitch and I'm like am I the bitch am I supposed to think that lady was a bitch as a side note bitch

and then he rides off bitch he could have winked I don't know great I liked it a dream overheard no just kidding

in my dream okay so my fourth grade teacher was hanging out with a buttercup a buttercup. A buttercup like a small flower? Yep. I don't know. I liked it.

Dave, do you got anything? I've got one thing. It's an overseen. You know those trucks that were like, they would do the mobile hearing test? Yes. Did you ever do that? No, no. When you were a kid, did you ever have to take the hearing test?

No, no. Really? Where they put the headset on you and they would play like it was like a beep sound and then ever diminishing beep sound to see and you put up your hand to say that I've heard it. And that's where they would decipher kind of your level of hearing. No, never. There's a great Seinfeld bit about that. Anyway, so these things exist these trucks that

kevin's never heard of um but apparently uh they're groovy looking trucks too they got that crazy silhouette on the side with the with the headphones on well maybe that's the brand that you've seen but i saw this truck outside at a construction site, because I imagine there's hearing problems among construction workers. And I forget the name of the hearing test company, but it had two slogans, and they were both really, really clunky. It had two slogans, and they were both really, really clunky. The first slogan was, Here today, here tomorrow. And here was spelled H-E-A-R. Okay, not too clunky.

You know, it plays on one that you've heard. The second one was, Some people just don't listen until they can't oh very foreboding yeah and it even had the little ellipses the dot dot dot yeah until they can't yeah that one makes less sense than the first yeah and i still i don't makes me worry about my hair i don't get why they needed two slogans either. Listen to your ears. Is that one?

Yeah. See what your ears can see. Smell what your ears are not hearing. You are here, but here was spelled here. And it's a giant ear with an X on it. There's just a guy strapped to the side of the thing pointing at your ears. My overheard. We probably should have stopped after 50 episodes. Well, that's what everybody predicted.

It would be, it would top out at 50 and then... Just this segment, I mean. Oh, right. it would be it would top out at 50 and then uh just this segment i mean oh right i uh i went to uh on sunday night i went to friday the 13th the new one okay that's confusing yeah it was actually sunday the 15th but i went to go see the new jason movie and it was jason. Bean uh yes and it was the the theater was filled with teenagers morons no it was this was it was so much fun I don't think I've had this much fun at a movie theater possibly ever but it maybe there was another time that I'm forgetting but literally ghosts going to see a horror movie that isn't like saw

where it's actually like people are feeling ill like it's it's a fun like the you know it's got all the conventions they're in a camp there's a lot of toplessness they're doing drugs all of it they've got all of it it's all locked up and then jason's taking care of businesses we're kept mowing down these kids but there's's this one part. The kids go into the woods. There's actually two batches of kids. But the first batch of kids go into the woods to find they've heard that there's like weed that's growing kind of natural in the forest. Marijuana? Yeah.

And they're going to collect it. And at one point, one of the characters stumbles across the patch of weed, and it's just everywhere. It's giant buds or whatever. And the guy four rows behind me, some teenage guy with all his friends, just said in complete awe, You could get so high!

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! He was saying it to himself, but so loud that the whole theater could hear. You get so high. Did anyone laugh? Oh, it made the night for me. I was laughing like a high elf laugh.

Oh, yeah. All his buddies were like, yes. You could get so high. And then that kid gets his head cut off. Spoiler alert. The kid in the theater. You could walk through such small doors. Except everything.

You could throw away so many hats. You could really trim it down. Or maybe you have to buy more to cover up your stump. I don't know. So do we have any phoned in over here? Ooh, I like these. Aside from the three of our phoned in. Well, we've got some written in ones.

I will read one of them. This is a woman. Christy wrote this in. And she said, where's the first one? She doesn't remember. This may have been on Valentine's Day, which would make it so much better. She says, I was serving at a restaurant where I work and was walking up to a table where a couple was seated. As I was putting the plates on the table, I heard the woman say, I didn't say that.

I did not say that. What I told her was that you were a work in progress. Ouch! Sting! That was very representative of the type of conversations I was next to in the breakfast place.

Just a lot of fights. And Anthony from New York found this. Like a poster. Like a poster poll poster. On a pole. He took it down. He scanned it for us. He sent it in.

And it reads, I am very, very smart and confident. That's the headline. I am a talented scientist and socialite, and I excel at understanding relevance and crystallizing explanations. That's quite abstract. Dot, dot, dot.

What will your kid be like at 24? And then in huge letters, music lessons! Music lessons! Just 100 for 60 minutes, presumably $100. Just 100 minutes for 60 minutes. And then as a postscript, oh yeah, I aced the SAT and went to Yale.

Loved it there. I'm really glad this guy enjoyed his time at Yale. That's amazing. Yeah, so that's spectacular. And the person who sent that in actually did kind of like a cross-check on it to make sure that that was a legit poster. And it actually, apparently, it has turned out to be. He looked the gentleman up on Facebook, and he was a douche.

I like that he doesn't say what kind of music lessons. Like, did he just tell you about music? He's like, okay, so this is music. And he shows you a bottle, and then, this is music. And then he plays a little bit of, like, a little bit of, like... A little bluegrass. A little bluegrass. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do.

Yeah, I'd like to learn the saxophone. Oh, I'm just going to teach you about how cool the Velvet Underground are. This isn't music. He shows you a picture of him meeting, like, Michael Jackson. This is music. But it's just music. Him meeting Michael Jackson. This is music. Him singing Michael Jackson. Filler!

I went to Yale! Loved it. The hair. I can't recommend Yale enough, guys. Okay. Overheard. Called in. Hey guys, this is Mike from Philadelphiaadelphia i'm calling in with an overheard uh... i was in the uh... restroom at my place of business the other day

and uh... i came in to use the uh... urinal and he's stand there at the urinal and while he's going he also passes some gas rather loudly and then having done that exclaims infection get out of me so hope you guys enjoy that some sort of voodoo priest you have to shout it out here you must put on your best shirt go to a strange place and use the urinal. Infection, get out of here! I think that's a catchphrase for our generation.

The fart generation. There was X, Y, Y, echo, and fart. Yeah. Boom, bust, and fart. And finally, Jason from I want to say Illinois.

Come on, Phil. Come on, Phil. He was watching Pineapple Express. Yes. Starring Ed Begley Jr. I believe you can call Ed Begley Jr. the star of that movie. And he, in the special features, there was an ad. I believe, I think I read this right, there was an ad for Ed Begley's all-natural cleaning products.

Because Ed Begley Jr., in case anybody doesn't know, was an actor from the 80s, now turned incredibly ardent environmentalist and activist. He was Seth Rogen's girlfriend's dad in Pineapple Express. Oh, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. But also has starred in, like I can't imagine, untold numbers of 80s films. Untoward.

And he... So our listener Jason ordered a bottle of this cleaning product, asked for it to be autographed, and got a phone call from Ed Begley Jr. Oh, my God. Here it is. This is outstanding.

I haven't heard it. I'm so excited. Jason, that's Ed Begley. Thanks for the order of some Begley's Best, and I'll sign the bottle and send it off to you. Okie doke. I'm glad they've got that. They said they were going to do that on Pineapple Express on the extra features.

I haven't seen it yet. I'm glad they did. Okie doke. Bye. Wow. He says okie doke twice. That's amazing. Okay, now is it possible, I'm just going to throw this out here,

that Ed Begley is one of the best people on earth? He is now. That's okie doke. That's pretty good. First of all, Hollywood actor, right? Could have just retired to obscurity. You know, just lived out his life in comfort, in luxurious comfort, in possibly a mansion in the southern United States. Possibly texting someone while two lesbians make out.

Or straight women make out. Yeah, exactly, right? Straight women pretend trying it out for the first time. So then, instead, he takes on a cause, right? He's going to help. He's going to try and solve the world's imminent environmental disasters. He's the Al Gore of the C-list. Exactly.

And now he stars in a movie. They're nice enough to put an ad for his product. Somebody asks for an autograph. He calls the house of the person just to ensure yeah i'm gonna autograph it and thanks a lot for my product who is who is this man and why is he so amazing angel walks among us is it possible i'm gonna throw this out to all the bumpers should we or should we not uh make ed bagley jr the official um hollywood actor of stop podcasting yourself you know what i think you guys should do i think you guys should order some of his product wait for his call and record a conversation three-way

calling it's not a bad idea kevin lee that's not a bad idea at all it would be pretty good because i was thinking what if that guy picked up the phone? I mean, sure, we wouldn't have the message, but he would have had a conversation with this. So you think that we could probably get Ed Begley Jr. on the line. By tricking him, by buying his products. You could throw it in the garbage. No, that is not the Ed Begley way. That is not the Ed Begley way.

You could just chuck it into the street. Pitch it into a tree. Guess how many baby seals I poisoned with your product. That's outstanding. Thank you so much. What was the name of the person? Jason. Jason for sending that in. What? From the movie.

Yeah. Don't go chopping off any naked girl's head. Don't go chasing wooden nickels. So good. I don't know. I mean, that was that. I want to do some Band of Blokes. Is he a bloke?

Or will he just choke? I don't know. Thanks, Peter. So giggly. So basically, my feelings on this are uh we've let like we can stunt cast a movie in 10 minutes why is it taking us weeks to to cast this band of blokes so many criteria i mean there's so many criteria involved i mean i know but i'm getting really

tired of it i have very little patience for these things I come up with. I'm fine with it myself. I think we got pretty much the band figured out. Yeah, we got Lemmy. Yeah. On bass. On bass. Rhythm guitar, Keith Richards.

Yeah. Lead guitar? What's the name that sticks out to you? For lead guitar? I put in my nomination last week as Slash from Guns N' Roses. I have George Thorogood in my corner. What would you say, Kevin Lin? I feel like George Thorogood's more of a bloke.

I feel like Slash is obviously a bit of a dirtbag, but maybe not as much of a bloke. He's very much of a dirtbag. George Thorogood's got a lot... All of his songs are about drinking by himself in a bar. He wears a cobra snake for a necktie. Really? Well, from one of the songs that he didn't write. But he sings it. You know, I'm not going to draw a line in the sand over that.

Okay. There's your early guitar player. Your piano player would be Shane McGowan. Okay, sure. Does he play piano? I thought we might go with a weird musical instrument.

Ashley MacIsaac on fiddle. Yeah, but he was going to be on fiddle. He's not on piano. Oh, I thought we were just doing one random instrument. No, no, no. This is way bigger than that. Fine. Check out how much I've checked out.

I can't remember who it was who made the recommendation that it should be... One of the members of the band should be the arm of the guy from Death Leopard. Just his arm, though? Yeah, on drums. Because he said that arm was lost in a car accident and it was the arm he was driving with that was lost so his arm tried to kill the guy that was connected to him which makes him pretty blokey that arm is pretty blokey wow so i i encourage that maybe that arm could manage the band because he wouldn't take no shit when it comes to getting paid. I want that guy on drums. No, not the guy, just the arm.

Yeah, sorry, I want that arm on drums. Like, so, like, Cousin It? Was that Cousin It that was just the hand? Thing? Cousin It's the hair guy. That's right. That's right. Cousin It was the hair.

The hair with the bowler hat. That was Dan who wrote that in about the arm. Yeah, Dan. So we got the arm on drums? Arm on drums, yeah. So is our band set? Who's our lead singer? We didn't actually...

I don't think we zeroed in on what the lead singer was. Do you want Pink? Do you want Stompin' Tom Connors? Yeah, I'm inclined towards Stompin' Tom Connors, certainly. I mean, there were a lot of... There weren't a lot of suggestions for lead singer, from my recollection. There was no consensus pick.

There were a lot of, like, just, like, that guy from Queens of the Stone Age, Henry Rollins. Yeah, he rolled away, though. Yeah, no, I agree with you guys knocking those guys out. Too smart. We need somebody who's like a real like... He's gotta be.

Like a guy who gets punched in the face once a gig. Like when he wakes up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why not Shane McGowan as the lead singer then? Because this band would suck? Oh, good point. Well, and also I'm not sure that he's still alive. I think he's dead.

Who is Shane McGowan? No, he's alive. He was in the Pogues. He's the lead singer of the Pogues. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's very blokey. All right, he also but he also what about um uh Armstrong from Rancid Tim Armstrong he's pretty blokey but he is also didn't he form that band uh what were they called oh the transplantsplants That now have a song in

L'Oreal commercial Or whatever, not L'Oreal Garnier Fructis Wow, okay, that's not blokey Yeah, you're right Okay, well No, no, we're ending this today Settle it down

Why am I standing up? I don't know. Sit down. I don't like this. He's passionate. Who called you the judge? Who died and made you guy who stands? I'm not a good person to have around for this segment because I have the hardest time when I listen to you guys deciding on blokes.

I'm like, man, this is so difficult. Yeah, I don't know. And how do we become the gatekeepers of blokes? We should be the gatekeepers of the world's greatest grandpa. Look. Which, by the way, someone suggested for the League of Extraordinary Blokes, Ernest Borgnine.

Can he be the lead singer of the band of blokes? Why not? I don't see why not. Ernest Borgnine, lead singer of the band of blokes. Stitches it up nicely. I love that we put in so much time and then we just phoned it in. Put them in there. Do we want to continue on the bloke line?

Sure, if you want to. Well, I was interested because I introduced the element last week. And I cut it out because I didn't want... Oh, you didn't want it to be... I didn't want people to get it twisted. Something we were talking about was the science of blokes. Okay. The blokiest scientists working in the world today.

You know, for me, one of the blokier of the scientists was whoever impregnated that octomom. That was pretty blokey of them to just go out, hey, I want to create a squadron of kids. Fuck the consequences. Pretty blokey. Now, we still have to keep the criteria of they have to be a real person, not an fictional character. They have to be a real... So no Dr. Frankenstein. Yeah. And they have to be alive.

So no Bill Nye. Yeah, no Niels Bohr. Bill Nye is still alive. Don't bring him up. I could hear people crying. But if you can think of anybody, a blokey, a Ron Popeil. Yeah, he's pretty blokey. But he's not at all blokey, though.

Have you seen his commercials? Yes. What about the guy who yells at you that has the beard? That has the, like uh has the like uh hey you guys want some magic carpets like he's got a magic mani putty or whatever that thing is called some of that putty yeah when's your birthday no what i want is the stuff you rub on your car and or the pen that you rub on your car the felt pen what magic marker it fills in the scratches on your car oh what. What, when's your birthday?

December. All right. Do you want a Snuggie? No. How's yours? I wore it last night. What about that, what about the scientist, you're on the scientists impregnating, it seems like a pretty blokey avenue.

What about that scientist who impregnated like old lady? There's like an, like it wasn't, there's some like 70 year old woman who gave birth to twins some like 70 year old woman the indian i believe it was in india i don't know i don't know where it was like 60 year old uh 70 year old lady that's pretty harsh it's pretty harsh i don't know fairly blokey see science is weird because there's a lot of um here's what a lot of nerds in science you know one or two nerds in science. What I'm looking for... Who's the Jason Statham of science? If you're out there and you have an opinion on who the Jason Statham of science is, I'd like to know. I'm very curious.

Can we include mathematics? Yeah, I'm including mathematics. I'm including physics, biology, chemistry, computers. Political science. No, not, computers. No, not political science. That's out. Astronomy is in.

Astrology is out. Cosmology is out. What about the scientists trying to invent Viagra for women? In. What about the one who invents Viagra for your butt? Did I call it Viagra? Because you just named it while you were inventing it. You're like, well, this is going to be called Viagra for your butt. Did I call it Viagra? Yeah, because you just named it while you were inventing it.

You're like, well, this is going to be called Viagra because it's Viagra for your butt. Wasn't he the lead singer of Dead Kennedys? Jello Viagra? Yeah. Oh, we're delightful. So, right in with your science blokes. Yeah, the science of blokes.

Man, this is a topic that shan't ever die. Yeah, and we are the most qualified. Do you have anything else? I have some stuff if you want to do some stuff. I got a thing. I want to break out a... What about some junk? You guys want some junk?

I got stuff. You got a thing. You got junk. I want to do something we haven't done for a long time. The updated version of Take It or Leave It. Oh, right. Okay, it was Ilsa Fisher. I love Fisher.

I love Fisher. The S comes after L, except after C. I should remember that from school. And Amy Adams. Have you ever heard this segment before? No, no, no, no. What's happening? So in the past...

We've done... We take two celebratoids who we have trouble differentiating. Celebratoids. You're Bill Paxton and Bill Pullman. You're Nolte and Busey. Yeah, okay. And then I will read out facts,

and you two will tell me whether they are more Isla Fisher or more Amy Adams. Do you know who these women are? Do you know who they are? Yeah, I do, but like, so we don't, okay.

If the fact pertains to more Isla Fisher or the girl who looks like Isla Fisher? Yes. Okay. Would you like me to sing the theme song? I would love it. Is it Isla or Amy or Fisher or Adams?

Fisher or Adams? Fisher or Adams. I said it's Isla or Amy It's Isla or Amy Oh no Okay this is actually A watershed moment Because I

Have always done the research on this And Graham has always been the guesser That's right And today I did The research And today I did the research, and so I will read out. And thank you to whoever suggested this. Someone suggested this

a couple months ago. Yeah, somebody said bring back this and also bring back Celebrity Odds, which probably we'll do on the next episode. Okay, here we go. The first thing. Born in Italy. we go the first uh the first thing born in italy is that more amy adams or more isla fisher isla fisher i'm going with i'll go with amy adams whoa that's gonna go to dave amy adams was born in Australia. Oh, still. Friend of Naomi Watts.

Isla Fisher. Correct. Very good. We're going along country lines there. Okay. Ranked number 91 on Maxim's hot list. Isla Fisher. Are you sure? Amy Adams? I i'm gonna just be contrarian amy adams that's my bets the correct answer is isla fisher but amy adams was ranked as number 56 on the same list i love this Yeah I knew that

I knew who came in second on that You were just right away Okay Before becoming a star Worked at the restaurant Hooters I'm going to say Amy Adams I'm going to go Isla Fisher Correct answer is

Amy Adams. Oh man, I'm losing. I didn't think there were any Hooters in Australia. And Isla Fisher was busy writing novels. She wrote novels? Amy Adams could or Isla Fisher could have come to

America. Really? Did Amy Adams write a thing? You didn't do any research on this. I did. I went to imdb.com. Alright. Auditioned for the role of Sidney

Bristow in Alias. Amy Adams. Amy Adams. Trick question. The answer was Jenna Fisher. Jenna Fisher from The Office office who is also easily confusable sure yeah definitely um okay all right last one last one everybody okay this one's for all the marbles here it is next goal wins second captain first pick first job as an actress was as an extra in a lottery commercial

i love fisher amy adams the answer was i love it oh i'm very good at it so i'm gonna have to give that one to dave thank you very much for participating. I'm sorry, Amy Adams and Isla Fisher. And Jenna Fisher while you're at it, apology-wise. That's dynamite. That was dynamite. I always confused.

Jenna Fisher was the one that I would always confuse in that batch. Amy Adams kind of came out of nowhere, didn't she? What was she in before she was in that one where she was in Enchanted? Oh, she was in Junebug with the character from The O.C. The guy who played The O.C. in The O.C. All right, do you guys want to do some Graham's Dad movie reviews? Oh, I like these. What are you made of?

Can you see with both your eyes? Look in the distance. It's easy if you try. Watch all the movies and don't waste your time. Just give it a line. One line. Graham's dead. Thank you very much.

Is it me or did the first two segments take up a lot of time and we're just zipping through the last couple? It's the way it's, you know, we're just, you know, Sunday. So it is me. We're recording this on Saturday, the 21st of February. Yeah, the Saturday before the Sunday which has the Oscars. It's Oscar Eve.

That's right. Yeah, I know. You can barely contain the excitement in the room. You're just flashed by. Things are buzzing. It seems like I was just forgetting them last year. Do you guys like the Oscars? No.

Do you watch them every year? No. Here's what I do is I watch the opening thing, whatever that is. Then I don't watch anything else. I kind of leave it on in the background maybe. Or I'll be at home. My roommate will be watching it. And he'll tell me when the posthumous...

Oh, the tribute to the dead. Yeah, the tribute to the dead thing. I'll watch that. Then that's it. And I'm out. You're a big dead fan. Yeah, I used to travel around the country with him. I used to be interested in it and I'm out you're a big Dead fan yeah I used to travel around the country with him

I used to be I used to be interested in it when I was a kid but no not so much this is yeah I it's too long

Hugh Jackman's hosting he's hosting who called that you had a list of comics a mile long okay well Billy Crystal he could have done it he's not busy

Jon Stewart he did it one year I think he did a great job. The audience didn't like it, though, because he's too political. Chris Rock, he was too making fun of the audience. Whoopi Goldberg was never good. Steve Martin was great. I don't know why.

He probably just refused to come back for another year. Ellen DeGeneres? So then you go through. Did Ellen do it? Yeah, she did. The only part I remember is her vacuuming the floor under celebrities' feet and being like...

Yeah, you're like, well... I think the celebrities probably didn't like that either. So then you start running down the list and then... Rosie O'Donnell. Joy Behar. Yeah.

I can come up with, I mean, off the top of my head... Elizabeth Hasselbeck uh uh plenty of names before i would ever in a million fucking years end up on hugh jackman but i think yeah you're right you'd be like yeah then i'd be like no no hugh jackman is that after five million um did you know that hugh jackman is good friends with Naomi Watts? Australia. He is. I don't... I'm really anti this Hugh Jackman.

I'm sure he'll do a fine job, but really, are celebrities so sensitive that they can't... They've just thrown up the... We can't even handle a comedian at all. We can't have anybody making fun of us in the in the slightest yeah we need one of our own to go up there just soft love it wolverine yes the whole night um what a bunch of pussies i'm not watching their pussy awards i'm gonna watch the mma awards that's tomorrow night right are they the mixed martial arts is that yeah yeah that's what i'm saying the mma awards. The best couple.

Yeah, the Mitch Marshall Arts Awards. Because I'm tired of these pussies with their pussy awards. Is that the one where they win a surfboard? They win a piece of balsa wood. But then they kick the piece of balsa wood. That they then break over their head. Smack. I watch the Oscars every year. And I probably have since I was about 11.

Because I like when they always show like, What a bunch of pussies. Hey, here's a bunch of movies you should go rent. Here's a tribute to, you know, cinematography. Here's movies that you never saw. Here's the thing, too, is Peter Gabriel. Yeah? He was supposed to perform on this year's Oscars,

and he, because the Oscars have decided to just do a montage of the songs. A medley. Yeah, a medley. A musical montage. Because remember, every year they would play the song, and that's when you'd get up and go to the bathroom, and you'd be like, this is going to be. Take five dumps.

Yeah, you're going to take five dumps in a row. A dump for each award that you mispredicted. And then this year they're just going to put them all in a medley, and so Peter Gabriel refused to perform. And his song was from WALL-E? Yeah. But he said, he was like, well, I know that our contribution to a film,

I think it should be recognized on the night. You know, we should be recognized. But like all the technical people that make the films don't get recognized on the night. One night with Jessica Biel. Everybody gets one night with Jessica Biel. It's way better than the Oscars. They televised that.

Yeah, we can't televise you, but we can give you one night with Jessica Biel. As is her contract with the Academy. She hosted the technical things this year she'll get an oscar after a billion years after a billion years for existing for just for that there will be an award uh 100 years from now the oscars award for existence that you just existed as an actor you win an award there you go um okay hugh So this... Oh! Ties it up at the end. So this segment of Graham's Dad Movie Reviews is an Oscar theme.

These are all movies that have been nominated for Best Picture. Some have won, but most haven't. Okay, here we go. These are nominees. Yeah. Okay, I'll see. Everyone everyone remembers this segment i won't even yeah you don't need to explain it all right we had a great talk about the oscars that was great yeah that was wonderful okay a lot of memories um scent of a woman oh um Get in character. Alright, alright.

Oh, wait. Oh, uh... Is, um... That Italian guy is blind and he's in court. He yells, uh, Everybody cheers. Pretty good. A few good men.

Oh, uh... Uh... Jack Nicholson can't Pretty good. A few good men. Jack Nicholson can't handle the truth. Pretty good. Actually, Tom Cruise can't handle the truth. I'm doing it as my dad. Okay. Gladiator. Gladiator There's a fight scene You can't tell if him or the tiger wins

Give it a miss Really? That was a great move See ya Well no I mean it's It's pretty good Okay Shine Oh

Speaking of Australians Oh oh uh speaking of australians oh uh it's a like i think a guy's blind and he plays that uh bumblebee song i believe he takes a dump in the bath. Does he? It's the more memorable thing. Really? Yeah. Because he does play Flight of the Bumblebee, doesn't he?

And he's not blind. No, he wears sunglasses. He's some kind of idiot savant. Apocalypse Now. Oh, there's so many. Oh, it would's the first film where Marlon Brando was fat and he said something

about liking napalm it's pretty good Chinatown oh um is uh uh jack nicholson keeps uh slapping faye dunaway until she comes clean. Bush Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. Oh, see, this is one of my dad's favorites. He would just go, this is the one time

where he would actually know all the intimate details of the film, because anything with Paul Newman in it was one of my dad's on his favorite shelf. Okay, so skip it? No, he would say check it out. No, no, no, but should we skip it? Yeah, skip it uh no you would say you would say check it out no no but should we skip it yeah okay yeah um mary poppins oh uh dick van dyke does a bad english accent

uh and finally chocolat oh oh your mom made me go see Chocolate last night. Chocolate. Or we would have said that chocolate movie. And I would have been like, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? No, the one with Johnny Depp. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? No. That was great. Thanks, Graham's dad.

Thanks, dad. You're the bestest. Should we wrap it up? Sure, let's wrap it up, because we've all got to go to the bathroom. We're going to go cross the swords, a la Charlie Demers joke. Kevin, do you have anything to plug? I mean, the Sunday service happens every Sunday night at 9 p.m. That's right, 53 West Broadway.

At the Hennessy the best improv show in town and Kevin Lee, we couldn't be happier to have you here thank you so much for coming out you used to be a stand-up comedian we didn't mention that I've said this before my favorite stand-up comedian

until you gave it up his new favorite is a little man known as Dean Cook. I'm like, uh-oh. Thanks, guys. If you guys want to rate...

Oh, is there anything else you need to promote? Oh, is there anything else? Oh, um... I'll be moving on Saturday, so if anybody can come help... No, just kidding. Nothing.

That was a good stand-up joke. No, nothing. Nothing really. Just that show, really. That's the thing. Coolup joke. No, nothing. Nothing really. Just that show, really. That's the thing. Cool, man. Well, thank you very much for coming out. Anybody that's listening at home who wants to write into the podcast,

our email is stoppodcasttoyourself at gmail.com, and we have a blog that's set up that Dave does every week that corresponds with each episode. It's stoppodcasttoyourself.blogspot.com. And call in with your overheards or other suggestions. As you may have noticed, when people call in, they have a much greater chance of getting on the air than writing in. It's true.

Our number is 206-339-8328. That's 206-339-8328. That's 206-339- Teat. Who somebody wrote in this week and said that he actually heard us saying that while he was milking a cow. What? Yeah. We got listeners everywhere. This is crazy.

This is fantastic. And again, we- We got listeners under a cow. We got listeners in a tornado. We stitched up the band of blokes. If you want to make a recommendation for the science of blokiness, is that what I called it? Blokes of the scientific world.

Certainly write, call in with those. And if you enjoyed the show, tell all your friends, because that's how this show can grow. And very soon we'll have a website. We're working on it as you're listening to this. Someone's working on it. Not us. we're working on it as you're listening to this someone's working on it and again thank you very much for listening for everybody here at Stop Podcasting Yourself

everybody who works in the building all our producers thank you very much and come back next week for another thrilling episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself Thank you.