Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 560 - Katie-Ellen Humphries

Episode Date: December 10, 2018

Comedian Katie-Ellen Humphries returns to talk comedy panels, cities for kids, and WE Day.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 560 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name's Graham Clark and with me as always is a proud member of the Do-Gooders Club, Mr. Dave Shumka. Although my mug, as you point out, when I have my finger covering the do, it's just the Gooders Club. Yeah, you're a gooder.

I don't know if I'm a do-gooder. You are. I'm a do... You're not a do-batter. No, I'm not a do-b know if I'm a do-gooder. You are. I'm a do... You're not a do-batter. No, I'm not a do-batter. I'm a do-neutral. Like, I don't... It's not that I do nothing.

I do things, but they're neither good nor bad. They're fine. I do fine. They're fine-doers. You're a do-gooder. Yeah, I like to get my nose into people's business and try to solve crimes. Yeah, I like to get my nose into people's business and try to solve crimes. Yeah, sure.

You have that segment on the news where you do consumer affairs for someone. Hey, this company didn't cover their washing machine warranty. Is it Maytag? Is that the company? Oh, boy, that guy. Gordon Jump. Our guest today, returning guest to the podcast, she's a member of the Lady Show that has a show in JFL Northwest.

That's right. February 14th. The Lady Show is for lovers. It's Katie Ellen Humphries. Hey. Hello. Thanks for having me. Thank you for coming back.

It's my pleasure. Yeah, well, you were showing JFL Northwest, right? Yeah, but we haven't, we weren't told to announce it yet. Well, we were told the day it would be announced. Oh, yeah. Or the day tickets will go on sale. And I think tickets are on sale right now. So, get them tickets.

At the Rio. Also, I think we need to record something to go at the start of last week's episode. This is a little peek behind the scenes yeah yeah yeah yeah peek freens um should we get to know us sure

get to know us is it for peek freens yup is he had did someone die peek freens no peek freens they're the ones with jelly is that the one not exclusively Did someone die? Peak Friens. No. Peak Friens.

They're the ones with jelly? Is that the one? Not exclusively, but that is their headliner. Yeah. They're a Canadian cookie company? Peak Friens. Peak Friens that come in a tin? Yeah.

Not always. Sometimes a tin. And it's... Is there one that's shaped like a pretzel? Is that... Or am I thinking of a different? Oh, that's like the British. Butter cookie.

Yeah. I would say that the second tier peak freeing cookie is the two chocolate, very dry cookies that are rectangular. And then there's chocolate icing inside. Like a mix between like a Kit Kat and an Oreo kind of thing? Yeah. Shape wise anyways? Yeah, Shape-wise, anyways? Yeah, but texture-wise, like baby powder. Like, just so dry.

I've got to look up these freens. What? These are like the best freens you can get, right? Yeah. The one that I remember is the red jelly one. Yeah, I mean, that is far and away the best. It's the Beyonce of peak freens. Okay, can you spell peak frean?

P-E-A-K-E. No. P, like, I'm peeking into. Really? Yeah. Oh, wow. P-E-E-K-F-R-E-A-N. Peak frean.

There's no listing of the etymology so is this this here these are the four is this like a peanut butter is this a pirate I remember just being a cream one but I know the one of which

you speak that wasn't peanut butter because I I could have these. I remember this as a kid, like, this just being They're all bad. They're all bad, although that jelly one, like, if you're gonna eat one, you're gonna go for that jelly one. I think they're meant to be like, you know, you're having coffee.

Yes. You gotta keep that mouth wet while you eat these creams. I feel like that, like that those cookies they have some sort of special association with church. Yes. They're like churches get a discount on peak creams and

then maybe like. You have recently been somber before you have a peak cream. Peak creams are there for you? Yeah. Sometimes you get them on a flight though too. Yeah. That's true. That's true. That's true. It's like morning flight or when they come do coffee, you get your friends.

If they're doing bubbly drinks, you're getting a pretzel or whatever. This is very true. It is very true. But is it the only cookie to have a jelly, like a jelly tot kind of component? Because it's got jelly and icing. Yeah. It's not jelly filled. It has a little.

It's a weird like jelly puck on top. Yeah. It's like a jewel. Yes. It's like a, there's jelly in the crevice. Well, there's not jelly in the crevice. That used to be their slogan. There's jelly in the crevice.

They say there's a little bit of jelly in the crevice. That used to be their slogan. There's jelly in the crevice. They say there's a little bit of jelly in every crevice. Oh, man. And the jelly is like a layer of sugar on top, too. Yeah. I feel like it's like, remember jelly tots? It feels like a squished down jelly tot. Yeah. Yeah, very much so.

Jelly tots, also. Where did those go? They grew tot. Yeah. Yeah. Very much so. Jelly tots. Also, where did those go? They grew up. Yeah. The jelly tweens. They're like jello acting out. Yeah. Shoplifting is just tough.

Tough times. Shoplifting like, I don't know, jelly flavored lip balm. Whatever. Whatever you shoplift. Did you ever shoplift? No, never. I don't know, jelly flavored lip balm. Whatever. Whatever you shoplift. Did you ever shoplift? No, never. I'm pathologically obedient. I love rules.

Rules. So much comfort. So much structure. So never, did you have friends that tried to pressure you into it? Did you also follow up questions? Did you have friends? No, no, no, no, no. No, too cool.

Those kids are too cool. Okay. So it never came up to do no no like tempting or anything it was very clear it was like that that's the level of square that i was you wow um because i'm exactly the same like i've never yeah no it was not even like the like me and the boys are gonna go go shoplifting. But you know what? I was too scared to go through with it. It was never even on the table.

No. Like, I was around it a lot more than I participated. Sure. Sure. Did I look at those naked lady lighters after they were stolen? Sure, I did. Sure. But did I?

I was too nervous to be a thief. I didn't feel good about my abilities, thieving-wise. Right. Although today, I got my flu shot today. Yeah. I was in the drugstore. They say, don't leave the drugstore for 10 minutes in case you faint or you develop 10-minute autism. Way worse than six minute abs.

But they, I had this big, like it was cold today. I had a big coat on. I was like, oh, we're just walking around the store with like aimlessly. I could fill my pockets with some earbuds. I will say that I have accidentally walked out of a store with things when I've been absentmindedly like holding on to something that I meant to buy and then I decided not to buy it, but I didn't remember to put it back. I've done that and then had to go back into the store with this thing. And I always feel like the cashiers were like, you got away with it, man. You should have just the closest I've gotten is like when you buy something legitimately but they don't uh you know

demagnetize the oh all the thrill of stealing none of these and you walk out and you're like all right all right I'm just gonna keep. Yeah. Have you ever had the, when you like a grocery store or something and you have lots of purchases and they have rung everything through and maybe you've even paid and then they're like, Oh wait, is this yours? But then it's also just a retail employees.

Like, and then they just put it in your bag. So like, I'm not starting again. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Two receipts for this 29 cent garlic.

Yeah. And they're like, like oh you've made me complicit yeah yes did you ever do anything anything to break any rule or were you just rules all the way down the line uh did you ever download music illegally no like no uh the only rule that i break consistently and will continue to do so and now i'm just gonna implicate my door i don't i don't pay for the b-line oh there you go okay so there's so there is a there's a rebellious rebellious streak somewhere in there yeah yeah although that one's more like rule of law. I'm like, that's just, you're just going to slow down. For people not from Vancouver, the V line is a giant bus that has many doors that are not policed. Yeah.

But I would always pay for the SkyTrain even when it was on our system. Like, it's very exclusive to that one bus. Why? What is it about that bus that makes you feel like devil may care? Well, especially before they had the swipes and stuff when it was like you were only supposed to get on the back if you had a bus pass or like you've already paid and you were supposed to pay at the front and i was like well that's just against the nature of the expedience of this bus right yeah the uh it was weird that like we went from

bus passes where like the bus driver had to look at the bus pass and kind of like, yeah, that looks like a bus pass. And now like now it's all computer, but it wasn't that long ago that it was this like here I'm showing you the pass and the bus driver's like, I validate it. Yeah. I cite,

I use, I use the power vested in me by this vest. Yeah, and also I've never seen a bus driver refuse somebody that doesn't have a pass. No. Yeah, they're also a bouncer. They're driving a bus. They got a lot of stuff to do. Bus bouncer.

I'd watch it. a lot of stuff to do. Bus bouncer. Oh. Watch it. I mean, I definitely think certain times of night there should be just a bouncer on the bus. I mean, a bus for some people really is a roadhouse. That's true.

So, you were here maybe a year ago, let's say. Yeah, I think so. We didn't check. Yeah, what's going on in the past year? What's new? What's new with Katie Allen? Putin.

Oh, you're out. Oh, you're meeting with her? Yeah. I would say that I've spent a lot of the last year pursuing my just, my fiercest passion, a lot of the last year pursuing my just my fiercest passion which is talking about what it is like to be a woman in cavity that's my next question ever so much uh i actually visited my comedy wife morgan brayton who was also a member of the lady show she and i and and some other local women were invited to speak to a master's level course at SFU this week. Wow.

On comedy? The class was the history of women in comedy. Okay. So it started in like 1960 like with the marvelous mace yeah and i initially refused but uh comedy wife and i worked it out and we both we went well that's a comedy marriage right it's compromised yeah yeah and uh yeah it was real it's the the thing that happens when you talk to people outside of comedy about what it's like to be a woman in comedy is that you have to face the reactions of very lovely and reasonable people when you tell them the realities of your life and they look back at you horrified. Well, because for the average person who's not in comedy what is like for anyone in comedy is horrifying that's just right it's like so i'm telling you about comedy and then i'm just and

then also the realities of a woman in comedy or the realities of a woman in anything and they're like oh not great um but how many drink tickets did you get to do this i mean it was run by women so there was a nice snack arrangement ah all right you know what no but hawkins cheesies oh boy nice i'm just giving them real regional snack references but it's very funny because there was this this class and and like say this master's level program a history of women in comedy and they they asked us to introduce ourselves and comedy wife morgan brayden went first and morgan gave this beautiful av and i am so so grateful to have her and i love her so much and she means so much to me uh not not concise it's not like her strong right okay point so this was this was like a big

but so her well her intro was also it was very beautiful so in addition to just kind of who she is she gave some some background on uh comedy history in vancouver she's been involved in it for a number of decades and also just kind of giving an overview for women in in particular in sketch comedy and she was talking about uh you know these groups that she pioneered in the 90s and things like that. And so it's many minutes, this intro, about her role particularly in sketch comedy. And then at the end, again, she's the first person to go.

And at the end of her intro, a woman puts up her hand and she says, What is sketch comedy? Oh, yes. Well, let me take you back. The year is 1968. Richard Nixon is saying, sock it to me. Was this the first day of this class? But then they've been telling us about all these academic papers that they've been reading.

And I was like, what is this place? Yeah. I mean, if you're just reading it, you're probably imagining like, I mean, sketch comedy is like caricatures. Yeah. Oh, that's true. The highest form of comedy. Now you're on roller skates. An alligator is chasing you.

These type of things. I went to San Francisco Sketch Fest way, way back in the day, many years ago. And I was traveling by myself and I went up to customs. It was my first time doing anything in comedy. I had no business being there. I'd just started. I'd performed like twice. And I went up to customs and they said, you know, what is your business traveling? And I said, oh, I'm going to San Francisco sketch fest.

And he said, what is that? Like drawing? And I said, yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Uh, yeah. I'm going to do, uh, maybe pastoral scene. Yeah. You are not a threat to our country. Just like,

just doodling. Was it weird to have to talk in front of student like master's students or was that just fine was that fine were they a good crowd is what i'm asking you know they're pretty good really you know very attentive uh it wasn't that i mean i'm uh this is a a thing that is just for some reason part of my life of just like yeah i'll just sit on a panel and tell people about this thing that they're wildly curious about for some reason oh really this is an experience that i have and it's only recently like maybe this week when it happened in this time was like oh this is weird it's weird we do this why do we why do i keep doing it's weird that you're on that you do panels like do you find them odd i think well i think i've only ever been

on one panel and i thought it was weird was it the podcast panel yeah that was pretty weird wasn't it yeah it was weird i watched it yeah john cullen steamrolled everyone. And you had, like, the most information. Yeah, it was weird. Where was that? That was in Toronto, I think. Yeah. But, yeah, it was, like, because you're talking about a thing that usually gets laughs and stuff. But when you're talking about it, it's not funny.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know if you, like, it's that kind of thing, I guess, like, I've seen panels where it's, like, seven of the funniest people. Yes. But, like, it's just not, they're not talking about anything funny. And that's, yeah, it's like, what are we even doing? Like, why, who is this for? Like, I say something, and no one laughs, i i'm not supposed to feel bad about that yeah it's kind of i like i kind of think of it as like when you hear a musician

talking about a song and you're like i sure would like to hear that song yeah this john This John Mellencamp storytellers session is going pretty long. Why are the houses pink, John? Oh, man. Yeah, I remember seeing an ad for a show that was the Foo Fighters. They were going to go and interview a bunch of different people about their music. And then also maybe play music with them i was like i don't know man this doesn't this sounds like something that he's going to enjoy doing and i guess maybe people who like watching him do stuff but that can't be a huge market and that's like

putting in an album of just your intros yeah this next one i think only really attractive like super attractive people should be able to do vanity projects because otherwise your vanity is in something else i think it should be like something we can see yeah like i just want to do this like a book like Madonna's sex book basically that's what I think every vanity project should be mostly glossy photos of you straddling a mirror

yeah Dave Grohl doing a sex book of him having sex with you know vanilla ice or whatever um

so you've been doing a lot of panels yeah yeah yeah that's that's my fun. And, uh, I also, since I saw you, uh, over the summer, I spent three weeks back at home. Uh, visiting my family.

Yeah. Yeah. Uh, that's a long hitch. Real long. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And, uh, so my brother was home from Australia for three weeks and that was why.

Does he have the accent? No. No. But he has, accent? No. No. But he has, you know. Oh, no. No, just like racist slang he's picked up. Oh, cool. Don't say that here.

Oh, boy. I mean, not really, but he does insist on calling coolers eskies because that's what they call them. And I'm like, don't do that. Yeah. How about not? You're not from there yeah please only visit us in in the winter time when we don't use coolers um so he was home for uh like a month yeah yeah and so we ended up uh we're both staying there at my parents house in the rooms that we lived in. Wow.

This is a real setup to regression. Yeah, bunk beds. And sometimes, like, I'd wake up, I had something to do in the morning as it's heat, and I'd wake up and I'm like, oh, my brother's already in the shower. I'm like, what is even happening? Yeah, I've gone through some sort of wormhole. Yeah. Yeah.

But I was home for my parents' 50th wedding anniversary. Oh, nice. Which is lovely. Which was a three-week affair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 50th.

Wow. Yeah. Is your brother older? Yeah, I have two older brothers. Okay. And also my parents got married quite young, 19 and 21. Yeah, but you normally when people get married young, they, I have two older brothers. Okay. And also my parents got married quite young, 19 and 21.

Yeah, but you normally when people get married young, they, you know, they don't wait a bunch of years to have babies. Oh. Yeah. Like that's why they get married. Oh, right, yeah. Just dying to pop out kids. Well, or to pop something in. I don't follow.

Well, or to pop something in. I don't follow. When your mother and father loved each other very much. Why is it in person? I don't know. How do I do this? Okay. So, do you know what engorged means?

What's your dad's name? You know that we call him Big John. Oh, right. So did they have it? Was there a big affair for this? Was there a big... Oh, no, I hope not. At 50 years, you're allowed to have one. Yeah, 50 is the adultery anniversary.

Yeah. Yeah, 50 is the adultery anniversary. You just, well, you eventually run out of textiles at 50 years. So it just becomes more abstract. Can you name 49 textiles? I mean, if I could, would I be here? I'd be some expert somewhere on a panel. Yeah. Textiles.

Up next, burlap. I was thinking burlap burlap i've been bagging a lot of coffee lately um did they have a big bash or so sweet we did uh on it was a we did a little dinner one night just for the immediate family but then on their actual on their anniversary we had uh we had a big to do at the house. Okay. And my mother had displayed her wedding dress as like kind of a decoration. And then at one point my dad was giving this little, little speech and he said, you know,

maybe if we get it, if she has a little bit more wine, maybe we can get her to put the dress on. And then everyone started chanting, put it on, put it on. Not a thing I'd ever chanted before. And then she got whisked away into the house and she put the dress on and she looked like she was 19 again.

Holy cow. Came in the room and she said, go get my sons. And I go and fetched her sons and they walked her outside. And then my parents recreated their first dance on the patio. So cute. This was last summer? Yes. 1967.

They're dancing to CCR. And everyone was just, everyone was admiring how incredible it was that my mother could still fit in her wedding dress. That's bonkers. And I was making jokes about how i was uncomfortable in the outfit i put on at the beginning of the party that's a good line um but yeah those were all a little sweet time that's fun it's it was it's a risky uh gambit on behalf of the guests to show like yeah put this dress on assuming that it still fits i know because like you know yeah i'll go for it yeah wear that thing you wore as a teenager yeah oh man i don't know yeah i'm just trying to think of my my teenage clothes they're pretty baggy they probably fit

i've been married for seven years i've worn the suit twice two two three more times is it is there any kind of like bad luck or something to wear or does after a wedding does the suits just a suit uh if it's the only real full suit you own yeah it's a suit it's just a suit okay yeah because it's the wedding dress just goes up in the cupboard yeah wherever it goes and it just i mean if you got married in a tuxedo or something then that there's a time and a place yeah yeah but yeah you just you had a really nice suit still fits i put it in the last time i wore it i bet it does yeah yeah um you know i'm you know how i yo-yo. Yeah, you're like pink. I don't know why, but she's who I think of when I think of weight fluctuation.

Even though she doesn't fluctuate that much. I was going to say. I was like, whatever. I mean, she yo-yos more when she's on that giant ribbon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just remember seeing a magazine cover and then somebody being real worried about how pink goes up and down and wait and i was like should i be worried i think the uh well i still think she has been having children over the last year oh yeah i think that maybe the friend doesn't

understand that man she's your belly big right now i think the prototypical weight yo-yo-er is Oprah. Oh, yeah, that's true. Yeah. Although I think she's found a place where she's happy with her body. Uh-huh. Well, I'm happy with her body, too. Yeah. Me, too.

Yeah. She should run for president. Come on. Run for president. Put it on. Put on the president gown. Our president. Put it on.

Put on the president gown. There isn't any hat or anything that goes along with being the president. Yeah, it's not like your graduation ceremony. Yeah. Mayors sometimes wear that. Yeah. The medal or the sash. Yeah. Man, does it look silly.

Oh, it's very. Any of that, like, especially here in canada we have still the ceremonial like guy will knock on the door of parliament he's got a hat with feathers coming out of it and he wears like he has a staff and he's wearing like stockings well and in england where they wear the the wigs yes yeah that's true they still and on law and order they still like the lawyers have to wear robes and stuff man do I love Law and Order UK I don't think

I've ever seen it oh you got to do they they wear the full the wigs do the lawyers wear the wigs yeah I mean

the barristers oh sorry okay okay alright alright but then it almost seemed like again this is wildly

ignorant because I don't know anything about the UK justice system but what do you anything about the UK justice system. What do you know about the local justice system? She follows the rules of it. That's true.

Yeah. Almost nothing. But it seems like nuns' habit style where the young barristers don't wear the wigs. Right. They have to earn. The barristers wear the wigs

or the judges? Both. Judges wear the long judges come to think of it here i think lawyers wear the robe they wear the robes but they don't wear wigs yeah because i have a friend who's a lawyer and yeah unless they're uh orthodox jews the but the i think it's the judges wear the long wig. Yeah, yeah. And then... The Rasta wig. Yeah.

And then... And the Rasta hat. Yeah. It's very inappropriate. And then, yeah, then I think the barristers wear one that kind of looks like... The short leg, like Christopher Columbus. The bob. The page boy but it must be very crazy to have you know a sentence handed down by somebody wearing a hilarious wig yeah it must feel

that must feel quite well also like in the 60s and 70s when the hippie movie was happening everybody had long hair but yeah like the judge would have long hair coming out the bottom of the wig so weird i do like looking at pictures of 1970s business people because with sideburns and just like long hair like everybody was allowed to have long hair and sideburns and had to have a mustache yes yes um a glorious time glorious time never got to experience only through photos and uh yeah and you've you've had to keep your hair short during your lifetime unfortunately yeah you'll never get to experience that thrill i mean except that time you tucked it up under your cap and tried to apply for a job that song oh man I thought you were gonna say tucked it up and then like wore a man wig

to be in a Shakespeare play was Shakespeare in love part of the history of women in comedy? Yeah, she was the first. Yeah. I'm trying to think of, like, who did they, was any of this stuff that they talked about in the class, like, did it come up during this panel or you guys were just doing all the talking? Yeah, just, it really was just, and then they just kept saying, oh, and we've been reading all of these academic papers. So it's so incredible to talk to someone actually doing it. And, and also they were like, I'm just so, I'm so sorry to find out so much of this is true.

Yeah. Yeah, sorry to. I'm so, I mean, it's every every day it's another heartbreak. Gilda Radner's dead, I found out. I just read she existed. Next week I read she died. It's weird that there's that many. I want to read one of these academic papers. I don't think I've ever read an academic paper.

Yeah. There was one gentleman in the class. Yeah. Oh, boy. There was one gentleman in the class, bless his sweetheart, Tom, and he is writing his paper on self-deprecating humor. Wow. Fascinating. Yeah. Yeah. I would like to read that paper.

Agreed. Yeah. Yeah. I want to read the man's paper. agreed yeah i i yeah i want to read the man's paper um have you ever read an academic paper i yeah i have a college degree i know but like do you why i haven't read one well but like i think i read textbooks but well no but like, I guess I did. Like, as part of like, whatever. No, maybe I didn't. No, but like, you know, when you need to research something for a paper, for your own paper.

I've read the intro to a lot of papers. I don't know that I've really dug into them, though. Yeah. I'm like, I get the gist. I'm getting an English degree. It's fine. Did you get that degree? I did.

All right. Well done. We're alumni of the same university. Do you guys read the alumni newsletter? I get the emails. You went to UVic, right? Yeah, yeah. They phoned on Tuesday. Giving Tuesday! The nerve!

Kind of. Hey, by the way, it's Giving Tuesday. Hint, hint. Yeah. That's not even a class. It's not like Taco Tuesday. Giving Tuesday doesn't roll up. Is that a new thing? Is that like, just because Cyber Monday, Black Friday begat Cyber Monday and now Giving Tuesday?

Yes, that is my understanding. Oh, okay. And Wednesday just stayed hump day. Yeah, Wednesday is still Woman Crush Wednesday. And Wednesday just stayed hump day. Yeah, Wednesday is still woman crush Wednesday. Who's your woman crush? Oh, for me, it's a woman in comedy. Just in general?

Yeah, Lucille Ball. Oh, yeah, yeah. First solo female head of a major television studio. There you go. Hey, you could teach me. Lucille Ball was? Yeah. Oh.

Yeah, after her divorce from Desi Arnaz, she took over the whole company. She was the first. Were they a thing? What? Man. You, woman crush. Woman crush? My woman crush is Sarah Benicicasa she is an author and comedian

and a good follow on twitter oh great follow on twitter even better on instagram i would argue okay what just good good what what's good about the instagram tell me everything should bring the heat yeah oh it brings the heat. That's it. Yeah. Okay. There's insights, there's jokes. She's very pretty.

That's a fun part of it. Yeah. Three for three. Yeah. Yeah. The, I don't follow any pretty people on Instagram.

No? No. Only Uggos? I mean, I'm trying to, I'm trying to insult both of you. Insults achieved, I would say. Dave, what's going on with you, man?

Oh, you guys. We're in birthday party season. Yeah. Wait. Yeah. So when Margo was born, Abby went to this like community mother group right for new mothers and margo was of all the mothers uh margo margo's the oldest kid of all of them and so abby met all these mothers and they all became friends and like every weekend for the net from september to febru, it's basically a different birthday party to go to.

Oh, shit. And they're generally all the same. Yeah. There's like an event or something, usually just like a community center. Do they reveal the gender every year? They reevaluate. And like, you know, bouncy castles and then cake and pizza. This time.

Sounds great. So, like, I told you last year about one that was at a. Did your parents 50th have a bouncy castle? No. Okay. All right. Just checking. I told you about.

Like beanbag games and stuff. Cornhole. That's 100% true. I believe it. and stuff cornhole that's 100 true i believe it yeah uh last there was one last year that was um in a like an indoor beach volleyball place in richmond oh so much sand so much sand so like weirdly humid oh yeah i guess so to keep they like people had to go by and water the sand all the time. It just is like all of the inconvenience of beach volleyball with none of the beach. Like none of the nice being there.

And like cats breaking in and trying to go to the bathroom. That's the big score in the cat world. Well, and also like, but you have to understand, like very small children are crazy about beach volleyball. That's true. They love it. They did have, like, just digging area for kids and dogs. But they had... Dogs were allowed in this place? The one that we went to this past week, Kidtropolis.

Oh, wow. Do you know what this is? I do not. It's a little town it's a kid-sized town oh god and you go in and there's a little kid grocery store and there's a little kid fire department you put on the hat and you you know there's a little kid police department. You can put your dad in jail. And all this stuff. And it was great. This sounds intense. The only problem was it was like Margo had no interest in participating in any of the party stuff.

She's like, I'm going to the bank. What's parking like in Kid Trump? There is. There are like three three cars there's a gas station uh everything's kind of branded like the restaurant is a boston pizza the uh the bank is a bank of montreal okay the gas station is really weirdly also a h dealership. This is really imprinting brands. Oh, yeah. Quite early. And they had a post office. Yeah.

And the post office is on strike right now. There was a little kid outside. And so I threw red paint on kids going in there. Scab! Because they were wearing furs red paint not something you do but I feel like this is like this is a great thing

that we did not have no although there was a weird thing that was a game show where kids got to sit in a race car. No, it was like a, uh, uh, to teach kids about like road safety and like you could go, everybody brought their bike and it was like set up like a little town with like traffic lights and stuff.

That's pretty cool. Yeah. So that's as close as I ever got to Kidtropolis. Did you ever have the, the like ever have the fake house on fire? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The fire department would come by. Now I've heard about this. And you had to go up the stairs and touch the doorknob and crawl.

And it was like stage smoke. Yeah. Yes. We also in Victoria, when I was a kid, they had something called Tom Thumb Safety Village. Just similar to what you're talking about, but you didn't bring they had these little cars like pedal cars cool that's way better half the class would be pedestrians and half the class would be in cars then you'd switch and it was yeah about traffic safety and stuff but yeah you'd be like walking around these fake roads and kids would be driving like something you do in like kindergarten first grade yeah you're like i drive a car but it's like who

has the vision of like i'm gonna find a warehouse i'm gonna build a little town little town for little people mr kid tropola and apparently like we had never been before but we talked to other parents and they were like yeah we come here all the time it's great we do our banking right over there and they were like, yeah, we come here all the time. It's great. We do our banking right over there. Addison here will set you up with a loan.

Is there a Kidtropolis Gazette? No, I don't know that there was a little newspaper office. A little spider man going between the buildings swinging. You could be like the wire for kids. Oh, sure. Or a different part of Kid Trouble. Every season. We got to close it down. This year we're doing the schools.

And there are a lot of empty houses full of dead kids I guess oh boy I've been boarded up so that was fun the other thing that's going on right now is last year at Christmas

I never I don't know how I avoided it I tried to get it but I never had don't know how I avoided it I tried to get it But I never had my favorite Christmas treat Which is gingerbread cookies Gingerbread men And houses

The whole season? The whole season Because we went to Switzerland I guess early And so I just missed my window. And then over there, they have a weird like hazelnut bread. Oh, because for some reason I had it in my head that Switzerland would be like gingerbread central.

And there's a lot of stuff that looks like it. And you're like, oh, is that it? No. That's some kind of weird whatever the almond paste is. Same with that almond paste. So did you do it? Have you broken the seal on it? I've broken the seal early.

Yeah. The grocery store down the street had these gingerbread mummies for Halloween. Whoa. And then Halloween ended, and then I went, like, the middle of November, and I was like, oh, they still have gingerbread. They have more gingerbread mummies. They're making more and more gingerbread mummies. No, they were just old gingerbread mummies.

Yeah, we think mummies are bigger than Halloween. We're going to try and push them into Christmas. But why not? Why not? Right? The Nightmare Before Christmas already proved that a crossover event could work. That people would embrace a little bit of both. All people.

People of all ages love The Nightmare Before Christmas. From ages 2 to 16-year-old wearing a Jack Skellington backpack. Well, no. There's a lot of old judges in court who are emo. They have to wear a wig over top of their dyed black hair. Do you have a favorite Christmas treat? Oh, that's a very good question. And we're releasing this episode on the last day of Hanukkah.

So go ahead. I mean, I love a mandarin orange. Yeah. So fun to peel. Really fun to peel. Yeah. So delicious. And that's something that's become, speaking of gingerbread in October,

those oranges are year round now. Yeah. Yeah. When did that happen? I noticed that Nog tried to make its way out of December, but it's the one thing people do. They're like, you stay there. Yeah, this is a fattening up food.

This is a hibernation food. Yeah, exactly. We're not going to have summer Nog, no matter how much. They would. They would market it. If they thought that people would go for it. Yeah. There's not going to have summer nog, no matter how much. They would. They would market it. If they thought that people would go for it. Yeah. There's not a lot of like creamy anything in the summer.

No. Except for ice cream. Yeah, that's true. Touche. Probably the creamiest of the creamy things. Yeah, you're right about that. Creamsicle. Okay, all right. But I know what you're thinking, and. Creamsicle. Okay, all right.

But I know what you're thinking, and I was with you. Yeah, but you've countered it very effectively. You really craved my God, that whole situation. That iced cappuccino at Tim Hortons, the frappuccino, yeah, they're all pretty creamy. There's a lot of summertime cream. Yeah. And people would... Oh, suntan lotion's pretty creamy. There's a lot of summertime cream. Yeah. And people would. Oh, suntan lotion is pretty creamy.

Well, over in Britain, they call it sun cream. That's due. Right now, I've had a bit of a cold. I don't feel ill. I look great. But I just have this tickle in my throat that i can't get rid of and i feel like i want to drink lotion well i don't you know aside from the the perfumes and it'd be overwhelming just drink some lotion is that what those aloe drinks are. Yeah. Lotion. Just load size. Throat lotion.

Yeah. Imagine how, how dry and scaly your organs are because you never drink lotion. Yeah, that's true. I, on the other hand, drink half a lotion

bottle every week. Well, unless your kidneys get ashy. Exactly. What is your favorite Christmas treat? I like a, like a candy cane bark like oh yeah yeah that's uh and unfortunately the uh pharmacy quite near my house sells it in uh and i like before it was kind of a thing somebody had to have made and you would discover at a party i think yeah

yeah yeah but now like companies have figured out a way to sell it in chocolate yeah it's in chocolate and the chocolate it's like they make a sheet of this stuff and they smash it up yeah like how walter white would make his meth yeah he would make a sheet and then smash it up oh i want to see it made in like i want to i want one of those you know food network factory shows about how to make this stuff and i just want to see how big the sheet is do they roll it out like like aluminum foil is that a roll oh man i don't know but uh i shouldn't have discovered that it's uh right by my house and And how early are they starting with selling it? Well, it was definitely like, you know, right after they rotated out the Halloween stock and got the Christmas stock in there pretty quick.

Because I went in for some discount Halloween candy and it was long gone. And then soon they're going to, after Christmas, it's going to be cinnamon heart bark. There is kind of a lull. And mummies. Yeah, and mummies. Oh, boy, like gingerbread cupids?

Oh, I can't wait. There is a candy lull there in January. There's no... Yeah, because everyone's like cleaning up their diet for four days. For four days? Well, it's New Year, new me. Gotta tighten up these reins.

But that's the thing. On the holidays, they always say like, oh, you eat all this stuff. But I don't, though. Like, I don't go to any Christmas parties. I don't work in an office.

Yeah. There's no company Christmas party. There's no just food around. So what is this? I've been like, if you go to someone's house. I'll have something. When I visit Abby's parents at Christmas in Switzerland, it's just constant. Everyone's always eating at a different time.

There's always something out. Yeah. Some people have brought things from, well, we brought this from where we came from and now we've got enough for everyone to have all day long. There's, there's that, you know, raspberry ginger ale. Sure. Yeah. Or cranberry.

Don't they have also? They now have cranberry. But raspberry Schweppes is, I think, the perennial Christmas one. What's a good... If you were going over to somebody's place, I know usually booze, but

what's good in terms of a food thing? What's a safe, safe like this is something that everybody likes are you going somewhere like a party where yeah it might be set out no like i'm going i'm going somewhere and so then i want to bring something but i'm also going on a plane so i don't want to bring booze. Okay. So what's something that's... Chocolate? Yeah, chocolate, right?

Is chocolate the go-to? I think so. Like, I was thinking a bark or something, like you were talking about. Yeah. Especially if you are traveling and going to a place, you can usually find the, like, oh, this is the specialty chocolate from my town. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ah, that's smart.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but that bark, though. Everybody says yes to that, I think. Is there a special thing from Victoria that, like, people would expect? Oh, food was, ah, ooh. Because, like, here I feel like we're overrun with Purdy's chocolates. And I always feel like the thing that people when they're like this is from vancouver it's salmon yeah like but i don't think i want to carry around salmon and that's a very specific

like yeah do you like this yeah it's like a weird thing to give to somebody if they if you don't know that they loved smoked salmon or like this is the this is the shop in town that makes this one thing. Right. I usually try to get stuff that's from the Gulf Islands. Just be like, oh, artisan-y. Yeah. They'll do chocolates well, or soaps. Soaps.

Soaps, yeah. Soaps is good. They're big. Or like, Murchie's Coffee. Oh, yeah. These are all the same. Especially if they're American, I'm like, oh,ie's coffee. Oh, yeah. Coffee tea is very, I'm going to get them something. These are all,

Especially if they're American, I'm like, oh, look how British-y this is. Yeah. Yes. Yeah, because, and like, that's in Victoria.

Yeah. You can get like a real nice, like a nice tea. Oh, yeah. Visiting Abby's family outside of Canada, it was always like, here's some Reese's peanut butter cups.

Yeah. You can't get these, and you miss them. Uh-huh. that's weird that they're not international i don't know man yeah yeah weird because like isn't mars bar that's everywhere you can get a mars bar anywhere i feel like am i wrong about that i feel like i've been overseas and gotten mario yeah yeah yeah but like reese's hasn't i don't know the jump i don't know and the thing is you might be right i've never sought out a mars bar even here like i think when i was a kid i was like well this is the most famous chocolate bar right it's got to be good yeah it's fine it's fine yeah um it gets the job done. Yeah, sure. But you know what?

Snickers really satisfied. Oh, that's true. Then also international. What's going on with you? Speaking of holiday stuff. Uh-huh. This is a... And by the way, we're recording this in November.

Yeah. This is... Barely. Barely. Oh, I mean, what's tomorrow? My birthday? That's right. Big 4-0 for Dave Shum.

Whoa! No! I didn't do the math. I was like, that's impossible. I just got excited. It's not impossible, but... I mean, it is. Yeah, it's getting close.

But, yeah, if anyone listening, you missed my birthday. If you didn't wish me a happy birthday, you can't do it now. It's you. It doesn't count. It doesn't count. You're bad. Oh, you're a do badders club,

but there's a, uh, have a TV. So I have this weird cable package that just came with my apartment. And, uh, during the holidays, they have these very weird

channels oh that are holiday specific things oh not just like because during the holidays that's when they have like they assume everyone's sitting around watching tv try out this channel try out this channel for free there's a lot of try out this channel but the thing that they have is like there's whole channel of fire log fire log sure there's whole channel of christmas fish tank yep okay there's what makes it christmas uh it's like a christmas village but the fish are swimming christmas village what makes it a christmas village uh candy cane candy cane okay it's not like bethlehem born in an aquarium

there's one where it's a Christmas train that's just footage of a train with lights on it can I guess what you're building up to? yes you can. Kitten Christmas? no actually the puppy puffy was what I was going for.

There is Kitten Christmas, which is kittens rolling around in wrapping paper and such. And then there's this weird puppy, and I only thought of it when you were talking about Kid What is it? Kidtown USA? It's this dog like scenes with puppies

in it. So one is like a boardwalk and it's puppies on a boardwalk. But there's also businesses that are being run by puppies. Are there, is it like. It's very weird. Is there a narrative to it? No. Okay. Are the puppies wearing like, you know, are they dressed as business people?

No, they're just regular old puppies. Is there anything Christmas-y about it? Live action? Live action. What? But like, there are puppies who I guess are, they're like just the tourists that are on the boardwalk. But then there are puppies behind these like stands that are like, this is the popcorn stand. And how long does one of these things last?

Uh, that one was like 10 minutes. Oh, so it's like a porno scene. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just enough to get your rocks off.

I mean, like just wiping a bar. It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like,

it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like,

it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like,

it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like,

it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like,

it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like that. How you're picturing it is what it is. And it's very weird. And there's no fast forwarding. No. It's the slow TV movement. So, yeah.

So I've recently discovered these weird free channels it's like it's like if you watched the in an apartment building the channel on your tv that's just the security camera outside yes yeah but it's just dogs that would be terrifying if you looked at your security camera outside channel and it was just dogs this is a pack of dogs waiting at your door it sounds like well like an eccentric billionaire who uh became a recluse and was like enough with the outside world and then their staff would invent television shows that didn't upset them like would make a whole network and they think they're just watching regular tv like what everyone is watching but they're in the basement filming puppy boardwalk yeah puppy boardwalk empire no one else sees them they're just watching regular TV like what everyone is watching. But they're in the basement filming Puppy Boardwalk.

Yeah. Puppy Boardwalk Empire. No one else sees them. They're just like, it's private. I refer to this extremely wealthy person. It's like, get me. What's on the news? And it's just kittens.

Yeah, it's just a dog wearing a suit at the desk. Oh, boy. So, yeah, I watched that for, you know, long enough to get the desk. Oh boy. So yeah, I watched that for you know, long enough to get the narrative, get my rocks off. Get my rocks off.

And then I was flipping through the channels and I stopped on this thing that was, I don't know what channel it was on.

I think maybe Much Music. But it was something called We Day. W-E. Oh yeah. Yeah. Which i had never heard of before do you know you know what it is yeah my niece participated a couple years ago and i

have friends who've been part of it in vancouver see this is it does it happen at like the arena yeah rogers yeah it's like it's huge whatever like i don't i still couldn't quite get a handle on what it was the reason i stopped is because the Muppets were on it. Oh, okay. And I was like, oh, okay. And then... What do you think it is? Do you know what it is?

Because we'd like to guess first. Yeah, yeah, no, of course. Even I am only... I'm going to say 80%. I have a solid. Please. My guess from all the tween stars that they brought out to talk about their wee experience is that it's something. You don't have to be dismissive just because they're young.

It's not a small experience. Yeah. they uh uh they talk about going to some other country didn't didn't uh necessarily it wasn't all the same area of the world but it was wretched yeah that seemed to be part of it and uh they would go and talk about their experience uh that it was called me to we and uh and then you couldn't buy tickets to this thing you had to somehow earn them by volunteering by reading a bunch of books and getting a personal pan pizza is that something that i can do that was something you could do um but the uh first of all all of the people that they brought out never heard and that was the greatest it was like they're like and coming and coming up

johnny orlando and i was like well i gotta stick around yeah yeah now what do you think what do you think somebody named johnny orlando what do you think? What do you think somebody named Johnny Orlando? What do you picture right away? Is he Tony Orlando's son or grandson? Maybe. I picture somebody wearing at the very least kind of like a bright colored kind of Hawaiian shirt. I mean, I can't imagine him without sunglasses. Yeah.

It's just a nerdy kid. Yeah. It was a real disappointment. So I didn's just a nerdy kid. Yeah. It was a real disappointment. I, so I didn't know what this thing was, but when I used to

take the Sky Train to CBC for work, we would go, I would go past the stadium or the arena. And one day

there was just school buses and school buses and school buses full of kids outside waiting to go in at 830 in the morning. Best time to see a concert probably i'm assuming they were there for six hours or whatever

yeah and then i like found out later that like you know sean mendez is in town this was probably before sean mendez was a thing but uh you know that kind of a Shawn Mendes, a Malala. You're going to get your frivolous kids and your serious kids. Yeah, you're going to get plenty of Tony Orlando's, but maybe one kid, Johnny Orlando. Oh, yeah, Johnny, Tony. Damn it. And then, yeah, like, what was your, you said you kind of know what this is. Oh, I thought it was more, I thought there was more emphasis on like anti-bullying. That was a part of it too.

Part of it. Is it the way that Movember is not just about prostate cancer anymore? It's about like men's stuff? Yeah. Oh yeah, maybe. Yeah. It's just like, okay, we got to expand this to every kid issue. I have friends that performed in the

Vancouver one and probably they do. Malala? We're pretty tight. I don't talk about it a lot. She's so busy. Yeah. They do music that has an emphasis on positive mental attitude. My name is Malala.

He named me Malala in a major way he what her book was called he named me malala i think pretty good i think so uh but yeah it was a series of uh of people that i don't know who they are coming out and saying i had this experience well one of the guys from workaholics was on it and that i was like okay i know this guy and he talked about some horrible accident that he had and he had to like relearn to walk or something so it was a lot of that it was a lot like, I have this story of a thing that I overcame. But they're just telling it on stage in front of 20,000 people. Who are screaming. Screaming. And everybody has been given a light up wristband.

So they don't turn off. So there's just a constant sea of moving lights. And then there was like a music act. Two guys called Jack. They were both Jack and Jack. And they came out. And the one guy sang and I was like, what's the other guy going to do? He rapped.

He rapped a chorus. He did a rap verse in the middle. These are Katie's friends. Yeah, the two Jacks. Pair of Jacks, pardon me. Yeah, yeah. Very, very positive. Very positive.

Anyways, the weird, then like the Muppets was what got me into it. But then I was like, why are the Muppets a part of this? The Muppets are what got me into Charles Dickens' Christmas Carol. What if Stadler and Waldorf were there? Oh, learn to walk again. Learn to walk off stage. Yeah. Oh, learn to walk again. Learn to walk off stage. Yeah. Oh, I mean, that would be so incredible.

I literally can't think of another child to make fun of. A child star to make fun of. Johnny Orlando. I don't want to make more fun of Malala. No. She's had it pretty rough. Yeah. We roast her pretty bad on here every week.

But you know what? She can dish it out. Do these things happen all over the world? At stadiums all over the world? I don't know. Or does your city get chosen for a wee day? Or do they just like pick and choose little bits like the adam sandler special from different cities start with start my learning to walk story in vancouver and finish it and

no it was all hell of it was all in toronto but then like at the weird the weird part of it was okay here's how you can get involved in the we movement. And I was like, oh, this is where I learned that you volunteer or whatever. But it was just buying a bunch of stuff, like buy these bracelets or buy this chocolate or buy this coffee. And that was it. Those were the ways you could get involved or donate money. That was the other way. But they were all just cash transactions.

So I'm not sure how a kid earns their way into look i just want to meet a muppet is that so is that so bad that i want to meet beaker you want to meet and fuck a muppet i mean if it goes that way then fine what is it with beaker what is it that attracts you to beaker i don't know the fact that i he has to express himself with his uh with his actions not so much as words the end that he's always up for some sort of experimenting um anyways it was weird it was weird because i was like do these kids know what muppets are like at one point they brought out miss piggy i was like do these kids know what miss piggy is two more contemporary movies yeah yeah i love jason siegel Muppets are. Like, at one point, they brought out Miss Piggy. I was like, do these kids know what Miss Piggy is?

Two more contemporary movies. Yeah. Yeah. Kids love Jason Segel. That's true. I just forget how much kids love Jason Segel. But, yeah. Like, I don't.

But little kids, would they know? I guess. I don't know. They went fucking crazy when Johnny Orlando came out. I'll tell you that. Is he one of those YouTubers? He's an Instagram famous guy. Okay.

It's mostly butt stuff. Yeah. He came out and showed everybody his butt. He did some weightlifting, but did some deep whatever squats with the thing. Also, my favorite shots of the crowd were at the chaperones that would be... Looking at their watches. Like everybody is screaming and they're politely like, another nice young boy.

My phone battery's dying. There's only so much Candy Crush I can play while these kids scream. Anyways, I watched the whole thing. Watched the whole goddamn thing. Until you got your rocks off? Exactly. Thank you, Johnny. Should we move on to some business? And if we we don't then we'll move on to overheard

hey if you like your podcast to be focused and well researched and your podcast host to be uncharismatic unhorny strangers who have no interest in horses then this is not the podcast for you again what's your deal i'm emily I'm Lisa. Our show's called Baby Geniuses. And its hosts are horny adult idiots. We discover weird Wikipedia pages every episode. We discuss institutional misogyny. We ask each other the dumbest questions, and our listeners won't stop sending us pictures of their butts.

We haven't asked them to stop, but they also aren't stopping. Join us on Baby Geniuses. Every other week on MaximumFun.org. I'm bailiff Jesse Thorne. And I'm Judge John Hodgman. If you live on the West Coast of North America, we're coming your way. That's right, Judge John Hodgman is taking justice to the West Coast on tour. Starting where?

Vancouver, British Columbia, January 15th. Then to Seattle, Washington on the 16th. Portland, Oregon on the 17th. San Francisco, California on the 18th. And Los Angeles, California, the City of Angels on January 22nd. Tickets are on sale now. You can find links to all of the shows at MaximumFun.org. And if you're going to be in one of those cities and you have a dispute, we can try on stage. Send it to us. Just go to MaximumFun.org slash JJHO or email Hodgman at MaximumFun.org.

I'm ready to judge you on the road. Take that, Jack Kerououac author of on the road overheard overheard it's a segment in which we uh hear things out there in the in the known universe and the unknown universe just wherever you happen to be. And then we share them here on the podcast. And we always like to start with the guest. Katie, would you please? I would love to. My overheard comes from my favorite coffee shop near my house,

which is the Bean Around the World here in Broadway. Oh boy, you're just like, you just want to get spotted there. Yeah, if you're looking for me, it'll be there. You're just like, you just want to get spotted there. Yeah. If you're looking for me, it'll be there. And I was in line behind this older woman, maybe like early 60s-ish. And she was talking to the young woman behind the counter.

And this is what I caught. She said, yeah, it was like a real weekend in Bernie's sitch. Oh, that's where these two guys drag a dead body around. But it's a comedy. Two comedies. Yeah, that's right. There was some kind of sequel. Inexplic, but it's a comedy. Two comedies. Yeah, that's right. There was somehow a sequel. Inexplicably, it's two. Although the sequel,

they don't drag him around so much. He's reanimated by a voodoo curse. Really? I think so. And every time he hears voodoo music. Just generic tropical music. I don't think I've seen it. I've seen the first one for sure and it's uh

that was just like what they were making in the 80s yeah it was like it was a dead body or there was a talking horse movie with bobcat gulfway and then uh i feel like these were the movies that i was allowed to watch when i was a kid yeah yeah for Yeah. For me, it was a lot of like, what if a kid was involved in professional baseball in some capacity? I guess this is more 90s at this point. Yeah. Was there one where a kid is a player in the major leagues and then one where he's an owner? That's Little Big League.

And of course, Angels in the Outfield is also in that mix as well. Was Angels in the Outfield is also in that mix as well. Was Angels in the Outfield, the kid, is it somebody's died and they're playing baseball in the, like, is it as literal as the title would lead to? I think there, have you seen it? I thought so, but now I don't know. It's Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Yes. Yeah. Christopher Lloyd.

Hit record Joe or hit record Joe. I can't tell what his Twitter alias is. Yeah, yeah. Christopher Lloyd must be an angel. Yeah. He couldn't be a baseball man. Or maybe he's the manager. No.

Tony Danza's in there. Okay, sure. He's in the mix he's got to be a baseballer because i saw him sliding into a base on the intro of who's the boss who's on first do you think that's the same who yeah yeah does that show exist in the same universe they absolutely do oh my and he was one of the baseball players that had those crazy nicknames. Oh, boy. Was he I Don't Know? Yeah.

No, it's in his contract he will exclusively play characters named Tony. Right. He couldn't possibly. That's true. It's the... But, yeah, so we all don't know what Angels in the Oval is about. Do we want... I'm guessing a kid's dad dies.

Sure. Does that seem like part of it? I feel like it's actual angels come down and start playing baseball. No, that's They don't play the baseball

but they affect the outcome of the game of baseball. This is what I'm talking about. Certainly. I know that. Did Disney have an ownership stake

in the I guess they were the California Angels at the time. Yeah. Or was there also a 1951 movie called Angels in the Outfield? There was. Oh, okay.

So this was a remake. Okay. The film stars Danny Glover, Tony Danza, and Christopher Lloyd. Okay. So Danny Glover is the kid. It wasn't Joseph Gordon-Levitt. It was Danny Glover.

And several future stars. Oh, by the way, Tony Danza and Christopher Lloyd, both from Taxi. Oh, yeah. A real big Taxi reunion. Yeah. Um, and, uh, several future stars, including Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Adrian Brody, Matthew McConaughey, and Neil McDonough. I'd say some future stars

and whoever that is. Several or two direct-to-video sequels, Angels in the End Zone and Angels in the Infield. What? Yeah.

The film was released less than a month before the 1994 MLB Players Strike, which forced the league to cancel the playoffs and World Series. The movie did? Yeah. Get to the synopsis part. Okay, by the way, there's no synopsis. There's a full plot. How many paragraphs do you think it is?

I don't want to. I want a synopsis. Young foster child Roger and his friend JP love to sneak into baseball games of the hopelessly dreadful California Angels. Yikes. Still in limited contact with his widowed father, Roger asks when they will be a family again. Roger, who does not understand the concept of death. His father replies sarcastically, I'd say when the angels win the pennant.

Ah, this is good. This is good. So he's given his kid a deadline. This can happen good go in a game blah blah blah in a game against the Toronto Blue Jays I don't know why that's important

Roger sees a group of angels led by Al helping the team Roger's unique ability to see which players are receiving help from angels leads their skeptical manager, George Knox, to keep him around as a good luck charm and consultant. Including ending the use of profanity as a nod to the original film.

Who knows? But up until that point in this Disney movie there was all sorts of cursing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Adrian Brody, whip your dick out. Oh boy. Anyway, they were independent. Yeah, oh good.

So then that kid's family gets back together? Yeah, because that was contractually binding. Wait, does his mother come back to life? So his mother died. His father must be a real garbage human being. He's like, you know what? You're going to be a foster kid

now. Oh, boy. Yeah, I don't know if the mother comes back. Okay, well. I like that they went to a different game. Yeah, I don't know if the mother comes back. Okay, well. I like that they went to a different game. Like, yeah, angels in the end zone, and we can do this forever. Like, infield. Yeah.

Not like soccer. Yeah. I didn't want to go to basketball. Yeah, angels in the hoop. Angels in the key. Dave, do you have an overheard? yep this is something I overheard my daughter say

she was playing in the playroom she had a little toy car and a bunch of little dolls LOL dolls and she I just heard her say hey

you're running over us oh i'm sorry i thought you were bridges common mistake yeah i mean it's it'll hold up in court i thought they were bridges your honor nash bridges yeah that uh john johnson yeah did i see him in something recently yeah that's what it was no we were talking about that um oh i'm sorry it wasn't that's fine that's fine i thought it was charlie we're talking about like this crazy that he got caught don johnson got caught with like a billion dollars. What? Yeah.

Worth of? No, cash money. Like trying to cross this border. It's the craziest story I've ever seen. To the extent that as I started to tell it to you, I was like, no, this was a dream. That's how crazy it was. Please, you got to look this up. I'm just, no, I'm literally looking up what is a billion dollars away. I know, that's the part of it

that's like, no, that's not a thing you can have. My only interaction with Don Johnson is seeing his daughter in sex movies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then writing him emails. She's doing great. Yeah. For love from all of us here stop podcasting yourself

i hope they make more of these they're not played out uh don johnson what am i googling billion dollars no i think this was a dream the story behind don johnson's mysterious $8 billion briefcase. Yes. Weird. I don't think you could carry $8 billion in a briefcase. Oh, unless it was Bitcoin.

Is it Bitcoin? Oh. When this picture of Don Johnson popped up, I thought it was Bo Bridges. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I can see that. I thought you were Bridges. I guess we both thought he was Bridges. What could this be?

But it's such a crazy headline, a crazy story. And then at the end, they're just like, ultimately, Don Johnson, they just, nothing. It's fine. He's fine. He's fine. We just let him go. You know what? We'll research it.

You'll never hear us talk about it again. No, that's true. But we will research it. Yeah. Rest assured, we'll get to the bottom of this. I opened up the article. It had more paragraphs than the synopsis of Angels in the Outfield. But I encourage your listeners to look into it.

Yeah, I do. Yeah, I do as well. It's a good story. Yeah. Overheard? Yeah, you bet. Um, yeah. Yeah.

Overheard. Yeah. You bet. Um, uh, my overheard was two kids walking down the street and the one kid was asking the other kid what he wanted for dinner. And he was saying, would you rather have for dinner pizza or beets? And, uh, you know, I didn't hear the answer but i assume it was beats yeah everybody loves beats i was tempted the other day because uh now in the grocery store like in the whatever the produce section your grocery freezer produce yeah it's a word i don't know i don't know which one we do

um but uh they had like the way that they have like you know cut up pineapple and melon they now have cut up beets oh really yeah pre-cut beets it was always the cutting with it yeah yeah maybe they're also blanched or something or whatever you do with beets i don't know how you cook a beet you blanch your beets i don't know if you do um i i only like i just i just cut off two pieces of beets and i put them on my eyes when i'm at the spa giving myself a facial so that you leave with two big red circles two big red raccoon eyes um now we also have overheard sent in from people around the world if you want to send one in you can send it in to spy at maximumfund.org. This first one comes from Curtis B.

Curtis Blow, I assume. Was it Curtis with a K? Yeah. Really? Oh, my. I'm in Portland, Oregon at a coffee shop, and a mom with two early in their teen daughters just sat down near me trying to get them off their phones and the mom just said

let's all put our phones down and actually talk for once now what boys do you want not to ever date as you might guess it was met with a long silence mom's trying to come on

what are they supposed to say like bad boys yeah Come on. Who poised you now to ever do it? Yeah. What are they supposed to say? Like, bad boys? Yeah. Yeah. Yes, correct.

It's just a mom just trying to reach out to her, to her spawn. And, you know, connect with them on some sort of human level, right?

I'm one of those cool moms. Like, if you're going to, like, not drink alcohol and smoke, I want you to not do it under my roof. I'm not going to do those things. I absolutely do not smoke under my roof because you can't ever get the smell out of the roof. Yeah. Yeah, I don't think my parents ever tried to be cool, and I appreciate that about them. The roof. Yeah. Yeah. The, I don't think my parents ever tried to be cool. And I appreciate that about them.

Yeah. If my parents did, it was, they were done with it by the time I came along. They were like, we're squares. Deal with it. Yeah.

Yeah. Probably with the, probably with the first kid, they probably were like wearing backwards baseball hats and stuff. Sitting on chairs backwards. Doing talking backwards i guess my older brothers chris and cross could they turn that all right um this next one comes from ellington l uh-huh uh long time listener long time listener or maybe a different ellington l yeah yeah buthuh. Long-time listener. Long-time listener. Or maybe a different Ellington L. Yeah.

But it's the one that you're thinking of. This is hanging out at my friend's house who lives with a few roommates. A couple of us were sitting in the living room talking, and one of the roommates enter, having left his girlfriend's room, wearing nothing but Minion pajama bottoms. Why does anybody in that household have minion pajama bottoms? Question. I mean, it's a wonderful film.

It's true. It is. It's hilarious. And those little yellow guys, they can't get enough. They love bananas. They love bananas. They love pranks, right? There's the one guy who loves pranks.

They love their leader. Whoever their leader happens to be at that time. The most despicable person available. So this person comes in wearing nothing but minion pajamas and holding one of those massive cube vaporizers. We all pay like a... Oh, like a humidifier? Yeah, like... For a room room not like a vaporizer for a

person yeah and vapor like something an evil genius would like maybe something grew would have and to vaporize oh wait is our vape is vape not short for vaporizer yeah it is yeah it is yeah but it's also something that before vaping came along it's a giant laser you would use to destroy St. Louis or whatever St. Louis

give us all give us Don Johnson's billion dollar briefcase and we're gonna vaporize it well cause the movie maker the

the model maker on the movie only made the arch only made a model of the arch. So it could either

be St. Louis or half of McDonald's. That's all we can do on this stupid model. Give us Tom Johnson's briefcase where we're vaporizing half of McDonald's. Once we find some yellow paint. So, okay, to recap minion pajamas nothing but minion pajamas although when you're wearing pajamas what what much what more do you need to wear specifically just the bottom that's fine but

sure did they come with a top i don't know that's a good question uh so even though people were having a conversation he said to the room it's hot man when a brief silence fell and nobody engaged he continued vaping so i guess he was i guess it was a vape it was like a big box oh like the vape boxes like a vape box and the conversation resumed a moment later unsolicited he offered because we're having sex oh it's too hot in here yeah go stop having sex with me and go get me a go vape with my roommates go out in the common area and vape so I don't know I don't know what he was carrying there it was either a vaporizer

for scents in a room and he was breathing out of it or it was a giant vape rig but it was you carrying it with two hands? I don't know guys try to paint more of a picture with your words

I love this what did he think? did he you think it was gonna be like sitcom style dialogue you'd be like boy sure is hot in here yeah I wonder why it's because we're having sex see you guys later not much later though although I didn't take a break in the middle so just wanted you guys to know. So maybe I can go all night if I take enough breaks. What did you hear? Did you hear we're not? Because we are.

We are. We're having sex. We are most definitely having sex. Not right now. But soon. And just now. And forever hold your peace. This last one comes from Ed T.

From St. Petersburg, Florida. Um, this last one comes from Ed T from St. Petersburg, Florida. Uh, I was picking up a few items at a local Walmart and heard a loud conversation, but couldn't make out the specifics until I came closer to the hair care aisle. It was a couple and the female of the couple was giving her male partner hard time about all the items he was looking to buy. He replied by saying it takes work to keep him looking this good for her. To close, he said, this doesn't happen overnight. Even God didn't write the Bible in one

night. It took him seven days. That is the correct interpretation of that story in the Bible. It actually took him a whole month. It was National Novel Writing Month. It was November. But that story in the bible yeah it actually took him a whole month it was national novel writing but it was november um but uh i went to buy some shampoo the other day and i'll tell you what yeah i don't like the smell of men's shampoo oh yeah what do you got like a sandalwood something like that yeah too musky too Too, like, it's a rock.

I'm smelling a rock. I just want to. You want to smell like a baked good? I want to smell like a soap. Yeah. Like I want it to smell shampoo-y. Eh, just use soap in your hair. That's true.

Just lather up a nice bar of, what do you got? Ivory? Dove? Irish spring? Let me see how many more I can name. Zest? Two thousand flushes, Blue. Lever 2000.

Lever 2000. Neutrogena. Negrin? Tegrin? Yeah. Yeah. Taylor Negron? Taylor Negron brand soap what was the one it was like it was round and you could see through it a little bit oh that's a neutrogena yeah that was a neutrogena it was like yellow yeah yeah no like

i'm thinking one that's like a copper color that you kind of see through yeah like yellow like sort of orangey yeah Yeah, kind of orangey. Also, we would have accepted dial. Dial, damn it. Oh, and also lava soap. Lava soap, sure. Any other soaps to add? Decorative.

Oh, sure. She buys all these soaps for housewarming gifts or whatever. Yeah. Nice soap. Yeah gifts or whatever. Yeah. Nice soap. Yeah, nice soap. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dave, any other things going on? Let's see.

We get hand soap, the pump. The pump. What's the brand of pump soap we get? Soft soap. Yes, yes. Those are good soaps. Oh, you mean the show we're doing? Okay. In addition to overhears that are written in, we also accept your

phone calls. If you want to call us, go right ahead. The phone number is 1-844- 779-7631. That's one. Ugh. SpyPod 1. Like these people out. Hey, David Graham. This is Richard

calling from Austin, Texas with an overheard. I was in Ikea here in town the other day, passing by this couple, probably young adult couple. They're finished talking to an employee, and as they're walking away, the wife says,

Honey, do you do we know where our daughter is? And the husband, super annoyed as if this was the millionth time she's asked, said, No, we don't. And I thought that was amazing. No, we don't. Stop asking. She's been missing for years.

Stop bringing it up. We'll be a family again when the Angels win the pen. When the Texas Rangers win the pennant. Whatever the most local team is. Yeah, that's, you know, maybe they just have a free range kit. Yeah, and it's IKEA, so the ballroom. Yeah.

They still have that? Oh, yeah. Oh, cool. Is it meatballs? Yeah, it's a shoot bular room so crazy so greasy slide your kid all the way out to the car no by the way they're a big hit uh with the kids which the ikea meatballs oh really yeah i can't stand them i uh don't think in my whole life i ever had one yeah i don't think they were a thing when I was a kid.

Did you ever have them? No. I mean, I also didn't grow up in a place that had an Ikea. Certainly not when I was a kid. You didn't make road trips over? No. Yeah, I do remember the ball pit. I remember being too old for it,

but also too young to be know be interested in anything else yeah so it's just like boy it was a real boring trip a 14 year old at ikea can't find much uh footing i feel like maybe a creative kid would would go in into one of the pre-made rooms and envision themselves living there. Ah, yes. Actually, the Kidtropolis was a little bit like Ikea. Oh, really? Just like little rooms that you can go in and envision yourself. Like the computers don't work. The TVs don't work.

Yeah. The vacuum cleaner doesn't work. It's a mess. I live in in kid trouble. Yeah. That sounds pretty nice. Yeah. Okay.

Hi, Dave and Graham. I was in a bookstore yesterday. I'm flying a plane. I was just kind of walking around looking at stuff. And a dad and a teenage daughter walked out. I don't know what the teenage daughter had initially asked for, but the dad said, no, we can't. Your mom said so. The teenage girl immediately responded, but mom's a Slytherin.

And the dad thought for a bit and then responded hmm good point let's go so what is that's a Harry Potter thing oh yeah that's one of my cultural blind spots I know Slytherin's

probably bad though right well I mean it's not they're they're wizards still I mean like they wouldn't just

admit bad kids like would they oh I see they're one of the houses like there have been bad Slytherin but the house of Slytherin but the house of slytherin and yeah the house of slytherin is good is fundamentally uh neutral i mean maybe it's

problematic uh i always think that i've figured out what what is, what the whole world of Harry Potter is, just from the little bits and bobs I've picked up, but I don't think I have, really. Yeah, it's because you're a mongrel. Mongrel? What? What did I do? You mongreled it. I mongreled it? I mongreled it.

No, Graham's uh puffing stuff you have you seen the movies i saw one of them yeah which one the first one okay have you seen the movies have you read the books i read the books i think i saw the first movie as well but you've read the book that's that's more i read the books yeah i've read the books all right yeah uh anyways i know that he's a wizard i know that from memes yeah you're a wizard harry yeah i know that much pretty good yeah you're a wizard harry now get over here you big log. Give Harry guy a kiss. Boil me a potion, you little wizard. You're a wizard,

aren't you? This really took a turn. Let's see what you can do. I want to take pictures of you in a cape, Harry, because you're a wizard, Harry. I don't like this.

Yeah. Why did this guy turn into such a creep? Who, Hagrid? Yeah. Darn this guy turn into such a creep? Who, Hagrid? Yeah. Darn, I should have said a wrong thing again. Hungrid? Yeah, has been. I don't know.

Here's your final overheard. Hello, Dave, Graham, and guest. This is Josh in North Carolina with an overheard of the kids say the darndest variety. I was meeting my girlfriend's kid's father for the first time when he dropped him off at the house. I shake his hand. How's it going? Everything's fine. And then her seven-year-old daughter points at him and points at me and says,

You two are the same thing. And you're shaking hands. and says, you two are the same thing. I found out. And you're shaking hands. It's weird. You're mom's old one and you're mom's new one. Did he sound like Thomas Hayden Church a little bit? Let's go back. I think he did.

I think he sounded like Thomas Hayden Church. Let's have a little listen. Hello hello dave grant i'm a guest this is josh in north carolina oh yeah i'm gonna need to hear him say stacy but yeah yeah yeah i'm gonna need i think at the end of the story things start to go sideways uh and then we had Merlot yeah yeah yeah he sounded like he'd like a younger but still in the same

you're a Ned and Stacey fan yeah I thought that was a deep cut when Thomas Hayden turned I loved him on Wings yeah he was great on Wings he was

I mostly fine in Spider-Man 3 loved him on Wings he's really I suspect he's very good in Divorce. He is very good in Divorce. And tying everything together, his character wants to open up a kid's play zone type of place. He finds a warehouse and he gets... Tattropolis.

Yeah. Metropolis. Yeah. Metropole kids. Who was the mayor of Kidtropolis? Mayor McCheese. Oh. He oversees the greater McDonaldland kingdom and... Yeah.

Okay. He's also the mayor of half of St. Louis. Or two of St. Okay. He's also the mayor of half of St. Louis. Or two of St. Louis. No one ever challenges that incumbent. No. He's got friends on the police force. Also a hamburger-shaped police head. Now this brings us to the end of the show.

Fair. Mercifully. You've been a great sport. Yeah. I had angels helping me. Only I can see them, but they're there. And I'm the manager of this show,

and I believe you. Yeah, so give me a consulting role. The Lady Show. Yes. Tickets will be on sale very soon. Oh, no. They're on sale now. Tickets are already on sale.

Yeah. There's a Lady Show as part of the JFL Northwest. Yes, that's correct. We have a show at the Red Gate Review Stage on February 14th. And if you haven't seen the ladies' show, you gotsta. You absolutely gotsta. Thank you.

Yeah, we think it's real fun. We like to say that we put the joy in feminist killjoy. Nice. And if you're outside of Vancouver, we are also working on some projects that you will be able to see from anywheres. Even the International Space Station? Yeah, that's right.

Cool. They're building the Great Wall of China. Yeah, they love our stuff. So if you're inclined, do follow the lady show on Twitter or you can follow just myself. It was Miss Katie Allen on Twitter. And then you can find out about those things. Do it out there. Don't just sit around on your hands.

Yeah. Why are you sitting on your hands? Oh, getting your rocks off. And we are also doing a show in the JFL Northwest. Yes, we are. That's also happening in February. Yeah, but tickets on sale now. Do I remember the exact date?

No. No, but that's fine. That's fine. It's what the internet is for. You go there, you find a date, you click, you buy, you win. A very succinct explanation of what the internet has in store for you. You should do a panel. Yeah.

On the internet. Here's what the internet's all about, guys. You should do a panel. Yeah. On the internet. Here's what the internet's all about, guys. You win Bitcoin. And thanks everybody out there for listening. If you like the show, tell your friends to come on back next week for another episode

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