Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 577 - Abby Shumka

Episode Date: April 8, 2019

Fashion Hag and her own person Abby Shumka returns to talk trends, a hot dog tasting, and The Dirt.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 577 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who, oh boy, he does rosé all day. Mr. Dave Shovka. Someone got us a sparkling rosé at Christmas. Merry Christmas. And we never cracked into it because, you know, it's a winter wine.

No, it's a summertime patio wine. Or a springtime basement wine. What are the best basement wines? Oh, boy. Chateau Le Basement. Yeah. What's the French word for basement, Abby? I don't know.

Grenier. That's like attic. Merlot de Bombe Shelter. Something Something Cellar. Sous Sol. Sous Sol. Sous Sol. Underground.

Yeah. And that is the voice of our guest today. She is one of the hosts of the Fashion Hags podcast. She is a mother of two and also her own person abby shumka hello this is some pretty good credits pretty yeah right when you hear them someone told you to say those things so but when you hear them back to back you're like yeah that's that's a resume that's good am i my resume that's from a musical what musical chorus line oh okay yeah anyways

should we get to know yeah get to know us Abby you're a big musical person what are your favorite top five musicals

oh boy how about hello dolly hello dolly hello dolly you don't have to sing any of them just bonus points How about Hello Dolly? Hello Dolly. Hello Dolly. You don't have to sing any of them. No, but I would.

Bonus points if you do. Well, for Hello Dolly, I mean, it's also the name of the thing. What was the one I was singing? Oh. I don't know. Right, here in Mississippi. Oh, yeah. It's a big old thing and it starts with a bing and a big old wiggity.

Yeah, that one. What was a big bing and a big old wiggity yeah yeah that one what was a big old thing and a big old wiggity yeah I remember yeah yeah um you like spider-man

turn off the dark mm-hmm yes that's also and then spider-man turn the light back on yeah that's the sequel spider-man

uh discovers the clapper oh boy that would be if you do you have to call your Alexa Alexa or can you call it Spider-Man hey Alexa turn off the dark meaning turn the light on

oh no no no David so Abby it's been a while now you two are married. That's true. Yeah, you guys are a couple. Yes, we see each other every day. Yeah, we're a married couple.

So, it's weird. Whether we like it or not. It's weird to talk to you as a podcast guest. Yes. With a whole bunch of microphones in the way. Well, just in this weird tone of, now, Abby. What's up with you? Now, last we spoke.

Tell me about. When were you last here? I don't even remember. It's been a while. You had two babies, though, right?'ve had i had the second one okay so it's been less than two years okay i think two babies one dog no david no whammies yeah can't lose yeah um and uh um and uh so what makes you tick i got a new haircut today that makes me tick looks good how often do you go for a haircut probably every three months maybe three months dave oh more than that six weeks okay all right i don't mind growing it out a little bit in between

because i also have short hair what picture did you bring in to the to show the person what you tore a picture out of a magazine did you really no i did it was a classic it was a screenshot of an instagram post oh of anyone i know nope okay just like secret is it a secret no oh you want me to divulge the account is it it from? I don't know. Is it fun? Is it fun information? No, not really. It's a local lady. Okay. Local lady, you're off the hook today. Yeah. It was taken from a very sad memorial shot, but what a hairdo. Yeah.

Oof. That's all I could think about. Do you have a longstanding hairdresser? Yes. Okay. Very much so. He used to cut your hair. Yeah.

Yeah, same dude. Before I gave up on the whole enterprise. Oopsie. How's that microphone? Oh boy, it's killing me. You make a podcast in this exact room. Apparently I'm not such a stickler for the microphone position. Well, I guess not.

Tell the listener that maybe has not listened to the podcast your podcast what it's about yeah well we are and we'll also tell them what this show is about yeah yeah because they maybe haven't listened to this well my show let's talk about my show first um it's called the fashion it's called the fashion hags it's me and my two friends who we met in fashion school and we had just had a great rapport and we like talking about fashion stuff and design and shopping and anything clothing related what's new in fashion yeah what's what's new what's the big like disruptor in fashion everybody's disrupting these days yeah what's disrupting fashion? The main thing

this nowadays is what they what do they call it? Like mediocre luxury? Hmm? Like it's high end kind of like price wise

it's if ever an item would be a few hundred dollars but it's actually not that good. Luxurious. Luxurious. Like the brands

that are the big brands that are luxurious that are tens of thousands of dollars per item these are all handcrafted like the most skilled workers on the planet that are making an Hermes bag and it is thirty thousand dollars but well that seems like a lot I mean bag wise yeah I'm more of like a twenty to twenty grand is my top bag wise ganji over here but so that so that that's then they have the reputation and everything that they can pull off a $30,000 price tag. But then there's an upcoming brand that would charge $2,000 for a bag.

Oh, okay. And it's a piece of shit. But you have this image and they've curated this PR image of themselves as a, quote, luxury brand. But they're really not that great. Sometimes what you can do is, if you're tricky in the store, you can swap the tags on the $30,000 bag and the $2,000 bag. Yeah. We'll see who pays attention.

Yeah, if the cashier's not paying attention in the line at the cashier at Hermes. At Hermes, yeah. That's how it works. They have a lot of bags that are just like at the counter, they're impulse buys. Yeah, yeah. Well, yeah, Hermes, there's a lot of like, a lot of trink They have a lot of bags that are just at the counter. They're impulse buys. Yeah. Hermes, there's a lot of trinkets, a lot of things.

I guess I'll get a thing of fancy caramels. If you have a Groupon, you can get some good values there, but they know. You got to buy in bulk, though. Yeah. If you get, you know, you have to buy a six pack of bracelets. What is an example of this mediocre luxury? Oh, I don't know. Examples.

Some people argue that Vetements is an example of it. Vetements. Sounds fancy. That's the big disruptor too. They've been quiet for a little bit. What did they disrupt? They were charging like $800 for a DHL t-shirt. Like a uniform?

Yeah, like yellow with the red. Oh, really? Yeah, and it was like $800. But like, did they throw a stamp on it or something? Like to make it theirs? They just resold it through there. Yep. And charged $800 for it.

I love it. That's what I would do if I was in fashion. The clothes, the clothing themselves are not to my taste. Subjectively, they are not my taste. Right. But I really appreciate what they're doing. Like, and is it, is it almost like a bit of performance art? Oh, absolutely.

That they're doing that? Yes. And people are buying it. And to see who will fall for it. Who's going to fall for it? And a lot of people are. There was a guy, his, he like lost his, his like punk rock leather jacket at a gig somewhere. And it ended up in a storefront in New York as part of the display.

And it was like a big... Oh, I think I heard about this. And he was like, can I have my jacket back? And it was just, somebody had found it and was like, this will be an interesting thing to build. Sure, it fits in this thing we're doing. And I thought it was so funny. Did he get it back? He did.

Oh, losers, weepers. Oh, that's rosé pouring. You're pouring, David. You might as well. Oh, sure. If you're listening to this on a patio somewhere. There you go. Me opening the bottle.

It's, oh my God. It's like it's actually happening right in front of us. Okay, here it goes. For real. Anyway, so David and I are day drinking. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

There we go. You're day drinking because your kids are already drunk. Yeah, they're already fine. They're passed out. They're safe. But we get to day drink and hang are already drunk. Yeah, they're already fine. They're passed out. They're safe. But we get to day drink and hang out with Graham.

Yeah, we have, right now it's spring break. Yeah. And when I was a kid, spring break was a week. And I used to go down to Daytona Beach every spring break. Because you're crapped up. Yeah. Show off my tan. You're under boob.

And side boob. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Depending on the day. And top boob. Booby boob. But not front boob. And side boob. Depending on the day. And top boob. Booby boob. But not front boob. No, no. Come on, I have a classy label. But now spring break is two weeks and our children don't go to school, but they're preschool.

They have programming. Yeah, and it's all canceled. Get them out of our hands. It's all canceled for two weeks. Your daughters have been canceled? Our daughters have been canceled. My daughters have been canceled. They said Gandhi was fat. I'm trying to think of a pretty low stakes canceling.

We unearthed an interview in which you said Gandhi was fat. Do you refute it? I can't. I can't. I can't. I did. There's witnesses. And so they, but the first week we had them here at home. We just hung out.

Yeah. A lot of painting. Oh, yeah, sure. Are they going through like a phase in terms of painting? Like, do they only just want to paint the one thing over and over and again? Are they going through a phase in terms of painting? Do they only just want to paint the one thing over and over and again? Margot does people. People and sons.

Those are two big things. A person and a son. Classic. And Poppy is... Scribbles. Yeah. And also eating it, mostly. Seek and destroy. Absolutely.

She'll just color her feet in. Turn her own mouth blue yeah that's Poppy's ammo yeah and Poppy of the two she's like the outgoing one she's the

she's the Abby she's the Abby and then Margo's the day yes very much so if you had a third do you think it would be a blend of the two or do you think you'd get

just some third wild card yeah like bizarro influenced by some distant ancestor uh only speaks ukrainian yeah it's weird yeah works in the field yeah just talking about how they have to toil constant toiling oh boy um do you keep in touch with your ancestors um yeah through ouija yeah sit down once a week yeah i say uh let me do your bidding what do you need yeah what do you need here on earth um you come from potato people uh yeah yeah mostly. Do you know when you came to Canada? Your people came to Canada? My grandmother was the first generation over. So, does she have an accent?

Yeah. Yeah, she had an accent. So did my grandfather. And yeah, they were the first over from Ireland. Were they together when they came over? Or did they meet at an Irish-Canadian function that's a good question i don't know i believe they were together when they came over but i don't know how they met are either of your parents into ancestry.ca no no not nobody in my family has done any of the although i have a cousin who he did like a crazy tracing of the family tree and found out that one of our relatives was a bigamist and had a secret family.

And so he found out that these two family trees intersected at one point. And it was like a big scandal in the small town where he unearthed it. Interesting. Bigamy Bell. Yeah. Bigamy Bell. Yeah. Bigamy Bell. Kept three wives on a windowsill. Yeah.

One wife hit, one wife bit, one wife beat him with a hickory stick. Took a monster shit. This is from a children's book. I've never heard that one before. Yeah, me neither. It was in, there's this book called Jelly Belly. Oh, I know Jelly Belly. Yeah.

Yeah. What was Jelly Belly? Dennis Lee? I don't know. It was Canadian. Yeah. It was Jelly Belly. It was about a big fat guy.

But it was a bunch of. It was a bunch of funny poems. His wife hit him with a hickory stick. A bunch of little poems. I just remembered it. He did Garbage Delight and he did Alligator Pie. Oh, Alligator Pie I remember.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here's another selection. This is a poem called Hey Mon. Uh oh, Dave's about to get canceled. Hey Mon,

Cool Mon, You a silly fool Mon. That's the entire poem from this book. Yeah, I have vivid memories of this book as well. We gotta get Jelly Belly. Oh yeah, what's the other one? Susie had a mustache, a mustache, a mustache.

Susie had a mustache and Sally had a beard. And then there's like a few different verses of. I can canoe in Kalamazoo. I can canoe in Kamloops. I can canoe in a quarter to two in a van in a traffic jam loops. Oh, boy. How do you remember all of these? And why is this the first time?

Because they rhyme. That's how, that's why the Bible is in verses. That's why the Bible rhymes. It did. It did? Yeah. That's why it's in verses. Because no one wrote it down for thousands of years.

Right. But they remembered it because it rhymed. But it doesn't rhyme now, does it? Not in English. Oh, okay. But in Aramaic? Aramaic. I don't know.

Someone told me that once. A poetry professor. You had a poetry professor. I took creative writing In university There you go A poetry professor Did they teach you that Shakespeare was kind of like

The original rap Kind of a cool dude Yeah He did tell me a story About how His aunt Had an abortion By jumping off the roof

Jesus It seems like it was Outside the curriculum Or Maybe that was a poem yeah oh boy my aunt ruth yeah jumped off the roof and that's the truth yeah so um oh boy i feel like we've really yeah changed direction yeah from whatever we were asking you about we were talking about we're day drinking. It's fine.

It's not. It's 530. Yeah. It's 530 somewhere. It's got to be 430 somewhere. Sure. Vancouver Fashion Week just happened. Yes.

Were you in attendance? Nah. Nah. I walked by a line up. I gave people directions. Yeah, yeah, yeah. As close as I got. Well, people need directions.

Hey, I knew where to sign up. I saw people lined up near the Sun Yat-Sen Garden. Yes, it's in there. And, man, that lineup ran the gamut. Oh, it's great. Like, I remember going previous years and, like, getting on the bus and being like, you're going, and you're going, and you're going. But you can spot them at 100 paces.

But they're also on the bus. They're the fanciest people on the bus. Oh, by, yes, by strides. There was like some very fancy people, then some very middle of the road, and then some people that I'm like, you needn't have, you could have showed up. This could be a Wendy's for all you care. Sure. The way you're dressed. the way you're dressed.

But yeah, there was one lady that some guy was taking her picture and I was like, I wonder if she just has that guy. Oh, for sure. To up the profile. To be there. Yeah. With a camera. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not even sure that it was a camera.

It might have been a calculator he was using. Piece of cardboard. We just watched The Disaster Artist the other day. Yes, it was very entertaining. And they show up to the movie. It's about the movie The Room. I've seen it. I'm just for the listeners.

Oh, sure, sure. The famous bad movie. And they show up to... And just a famous, like... Not even a bad movie, but just like a... Just cult. It's a phenomenon. But also just like completely manufactured from whatever.

No one knows where the money came from. Sure. Yeah. He's like some, he's got like some weird European king money or something. And the one thing that I noticed was that they got out of the limo at the movie premiere and people were taking his picture. Yeah. But he must have hired photographers.

Yeah. I'm not sure. They didn't cover that in the script. But like. It was assumed. That's how you. Inferred. Yeah.

That's how you manufacture hype, right? Yeah. Because like I was looking at the one person who was having her photo taken. Oh, for sure. Who is she? Yeah. What is she? Yeah. She must be somebody. Yeah.

Yeah. Have you gone to Fashion Week in the past? I have. And what? I have no idea what happens. What happens? There's a lot of standing around at the beginning. Okay.

They're always late. They're never on time. They never start at the time. The show never starts on the time I will say on the invitation. Ever, ever, ever. They're like rappers. Fashionably late. Well, there's always some last minute shit that needs to be done backstage that holds it up.

Always. Okay. Double-sided tape. Yeah. Or you don't have any more double-sided tape. That's the thing. That's the problem. Is it all held together by double-sided tape?

Pretty much. Okay. All right. So then, is it like how I'm picturing? Everybody's sitting, fanning themselves. Of course. Holding a program, perhaps. Yeah, a tiny chinchilla on their lap.

Yeah, there's some stadium seating, like four or five rows of little stadium seating, and then a runway. Okay. And then the back will be like a big screen, usually, so they can switch out the images. Right. And the music will play, and the people will stomp out. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Dave knows. Se out. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Dave knows. Sexy.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Dave goes every year. Yeah, Dave knows. Shoes. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh, boy. Whoa, whoa. You're embarrassing me.

Eddie Bauer. Is Eddie Bauer showing at Vancouver Fashion Week? Spring, summer, 2020, Eddie Bauer. Why doesn't Eddie Bauer have to show? Yeah. Why does everyone else have to show, but Eddie Bauer gets off the hook? That's the choice they made for themselves. So, like, is it international brands, or is it all local designers?

No, I think international brands. They get people, like, a few, I don't know, they probably don't do it all the time, but sometimes they'll focus on, like, few, I don't know, they probably don't do it all the time, but sometimes they will focus on like a geographical area of the world and they'll have a bunch of designers from China or a bunch of designers from India or a bunch of designers from Germany or something. And every time you've gone and you've usually participated as, you know, helping with some. Labor. Yeah. Yeah. Either a friend's fashion show or, yeah, just like coat check at an event. Yeah. Either a friend's fashion show or just like coat check at an event.

Yep. You always end up with a... Goodie bag. A gift bag. Oh, shit. You always have to wear black and you get a goodie bag. And it always is just full of pop chips. They sponsored heavily.

Heavily sponsored the fashion industry. Yeah. How? Or they did, you know, four years ago. I think I've always associated pop chips with models and, you know, high fashion and good times, Milan. Yes. Milan, Paris.

Oh, boy. Days in Milan. Who is your all-time favorite designer? We'll go around. I already said mine. Um, who, uh, who is your all time favorite designer? Hmm. Uh, we'll, we'll, we'll go around. I already said mine. Eddie Bauer. He's been very transparent.

Yeah. Eddie Bauer. Um, probably East St. Laurent. Oh yeah. Of all time. Yes. And just. He did some cool stuff.

He's no longer with us. No, he died not that long ago. Okay. But he's dead. But his legacy lives on Lives on And his label lives on That's

I gotta start a label That's the way That's the way You gotta start a house A couture house Can I start a couture garage? Yeah Sure

Can you rent a couture basement? It's 2019 baby Let's do it Yeah yeah I'm gonna be a disruptor I could get Yes I can get...

You just need a good PR team. You're fine. Yeah. Just some hockey pads and then say, do a signature on it and then say, there you go. Yeah. It's a thing. And now you've got to walk down the street in hockey pads. Yeah.

I'm imagining goalie pads. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay. Yeah, absolutely. But maybe I put some glitter on them or something. Yeah, yeah. Tassels. There you go.

Oh, the tassels. Yeah, those are big. Yeah. That'll do it. What is the, what's in this season? Oh, boy. It wasn't in. It wasn't in before.

What's new this year? I don't know. I haven't started to really pay attention to spring yet. Okay, here's what's going on. Well, I mean. Here's what I've noticed on the street. Okay, please. I see a lot of ladies' ankles.

Yeah. Yes, the cropped pants. Cropped pants is totally in. leg crop yeah wide leg crop yeah yeah so i'm seeing i'm seeing a lot of ankles everywhere i go yeah and uh you know that's huge for me i'm a huge ankle guy any joints really ankle wrist if i could uh you're not picking yeah exactly i was listening to the gq podcast for a little while. Oh, yeah. And I feel like that is a, I had to stop. They changed hosts. Like the old hosts.

Oh, David. But they're very, just talking about what is happening in New York as though everyone listening subscribes to that idea. Right. Like, oh, yeah, men just carry leather bags now. Just in their hands, they just carry leather bags now just in their hands they just carry leather bags everywhere you go i mean i feel like backpacks and and uh every other kind of bag is over you just men are carrying bags yeah you just say it in an authoritative voice and it's true yeah that's that's that's 30 of the fashion industry. It's not more. Just being assertive. Just saying with a conviction.

Yeah, and saying something's over to somebody who's like, if you said backpacks are over to somebody wearing a backpack, they'd feel bad. Yeah, for sure. For sure. Yeah. Like if you said, oh, that's over, they'd be like. It's still over, though.

It's over my shoulders. Like a boulder holder. Just the one, though. Is that back? One one strapping okay so we got so bare ankles yeah uh yes weird big clunky shoes yes especially giant sneakers clunky sneakers yes i've noticed that should be sneaky a lot of kids wear uh socks with sandals or not even sandals, like kind of like shower shoes. Well, athleisure, that's a whole thing, athleisure. So what's. It's like athletic wear and leisure wear. So you're not actually doing like working out in it.

Right. But you're actually leaving the house in it. Okay. I'm more. I'm getting it. I'm more math leisure. What are you like a calculator? Yeah.

Like I wear like a... A little abacus on a chain. I wear some sweatpants that are... Texas Instruments on the leg. Yeah. Yeah, are they showing this year? Texas Instruments. Instruments.

Oh, man. That would be, honest to God, if they started manufacturing clothes. Jesus Christ, that'd be great. Man, it's just like when you discover, if someone shows up somewhere wearing a brand name of a brand that doesn't make clothes, and it's the perfect brand, and it's just like Epcot Center or Texas Instruments or like, you know Subaru if somebody's wearing a hoodie that just said Benelon on it oh my god like nothing beats it who are you tell me everything like I used to on eBay I used to search for just like non-fashion brands, polo shirt. I had a pretty good Honda polo shirt.

Yeah. I feel like, uh, somebody I know had just like an, uh, like a hoodie or a Jack. They had a jacket. It was a crush jacket.

And I was like that something, somebody had to win that. Oh, sure. Radio competition or who knows jacket. Nice. Like that something, somebody had to win that. Oh, sure. Radio competition or who knows what. Best is if it's like from an industry that's not closed. Known for, yeah.

But also it's not even the best person from the industry. It's like Hires root beer or whatever. From the root beer industry. You're talking third tier root beer here. I guess Hires is a third tier root beer. What's number one? Barks?

I think A&W is king. A&W. Yeah, king of root beer. Barks is everywhere. Is Barks above Hires? As a choice in the machines

at like restaurants and stuff. Barks is the one you're going to get. Well, it's got bite. Well, of course. What do you mean? And then Hires,

oh boy, it's Hires before. You can only? And then Hires. Oh, boy. It's Hires before. You can only get in a two liter. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I guess you can get in cans, too. I've seen. They look like barrels.

Is those ones kind of like barrels? Yeah. The Heinz ones? Hires. Hires. Heinz. I went on a real root beer kick where I would just buy like any weird root beer I saw in a store.

That's the one kind of soda. Well, like everybody will take a lot of obscure sarsaparilla brands yeah i remember once on the ferry i saw a family that had like pre-made cheese sandwiches that everyone was just sitting around eating and a big bottle of diet a and w root beer. And I was like, who? This was like a soda by committee. Yeah. And this was what you settled on. Yeah. Diet.

There was always diet soda in our kitchen or like our fridge growing up. And I would drink it because it was still technically soda. Of course, it was still sweet. You guys have diet soda? No. Never. I hate, I don't like aspartame and xylitol and all that stuff. I won't.

I like. No, I don't like it. Yeah, I don't. I, I've never even tried the, apparently there are good ones. Like people. The zero one. People swear by Coke zero or whatever. What's the one with Stevia?

The like, The whole brand? The green one, maybe? No, I don't know. I forget what the brand is, but it's just Zevia? Oh, sure, in the cans. Are those gross? Okay. I've never tried those.

Apparently, the Diet Dr. Pepper is close to regular Dr. Pepper, but I- It's like if you're drinking a soda, you're just drinking a soda. Yeah. Or don't. Otherwise, just drink a soda. Yeah. Or, or yeah. Otherwise just drink water. Yeah. Yeah.

Have a, have a La Croix. Oh yeah. La Croix. Is that, La Croix. That seems like that was the fashion interrupter of the soda game. A year ago.

Yeah. And like, bub, bub, buble. Yeah. You're a big fan I've fallen for all of these

I enjoy all of these products yeah you like something with just a hint yeah just a little bit I like the bubbles and just like as someone said

it's in the room next to the flavor yeah you're drinking in a room next to a strawberry and that's what you're getting that's nice it's like if you go

in a hotel lobby and sometimes they have like a big water thing and there's like some kind of vegetable floating in it. Cucumber slices. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you tell the concierge, oh, this is good cucumber water.

And he's like, cucumber? What do you mean? My soup. There hasn't been a cucumber here in 30 years. My lobby soup. Oh, shit. That was my lunch. But yeah, I guess.

I don't think I've had a La Croix. Oh, do we have any upstairs? Maybe. They're not. Cran raspberry ones. They're not anything. No. Are they refreshing?

I like them because you can't taste the like gross sugar yeah substitute right yeah some of the other flavor waters you can like either have a super like manufactured flavor of something yeah yeah or like that fake sugar flavor i don't like either of those things. Just give me real sugar way, don't you? Yeah, I'm fine with it. Yeah. Just take a piece of watermelon,

dredge it through sugar, put it in my mouth. Stop pussyfooting around it, guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah, sugar. Did we finish the thought that our children aren't here because they're

their grandparents? Yes. Yeah. Let's just make that clear. They are adequately supervised. Children are here. One is in each corner, facing the corner, Blair Witch style. I'm creeped out by it,

but Dave and Abby seem fine with it. What if our kids were that well-behaved? Oh, God. Do we just keep them in a corner? Stand up, stand up. What a human being is that well-behaved? It would never happen That would be nice to just stare into a corner Not have to worry about anything

Can I lean on the corner Yeah you can fall asleep in the corner For all I care Can my head flop Yeah yeah yeah This is not military school This is just like Spend time in your corner As a parent now yeah yeah yeah yeah I'm in this is not military school this is just like just go

spend time in your corner yeah as a parent now how do you send your kids to military school because it's like I remember you threaten them

you say if you don't get your grades up then we're gonna you're gonna have to drop out of the band I remember it was a big thing on in TV shows

and movies oh if I don't my parents threatened me didn't bill and ted have it too like bill and ted had to go to yes that was it but we uh c slater's dad was always threatening him well it was they were i guess it was the family business he was an army brat yeah and uh but uh yeah i don't there's no like i guess there's no yellow pages where I can look up military school anymore. It's a word of mouth now.

I think you could Google it, military school in my area. My parents threatened me with it, and I think it was not only an empty threat. I don't think they knew where a military school was, but it sounded like. Oh, it was a terrible threat, absolutely. It sounded bad. You'll have to shave your head my parents threatened me with my parents threatened me with private school that sounds all right though but i knew everything about my privates i was very well acquainted yeah every night with the hand mirror where's my hand mirror, Dave? I'm out of moisturizer. But like,

is it like Donald Trump went to military school? Yeah. Like George W. Bush went to military school? I don't know about that. But for sure Donald Trump. For sure. Could dance or something, for sure. Yeah.

Yeah, right? Yeah. Like something military adjacent. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Like something military adjacent. Yeah. Did you have friends growing up that were in any of like the cadets or anything like that? No. No. No.

No one in the cadets had friends. There were kids in my high school that were in cadets. There was one girl I went to fashion school with and she was right out of high school and she was still in cadets. Really? And it took up a huge chunk of her life. Yeah. They were like, I remember the kids that were. Was it related to Cub Scouts?

No. No. I mean, there was like a, there was a branch of scouts that went that way. Uh-huh. But you didn't have to, you could just join cadets. Oh, okay. If you really wanted to handle a gun. And that was your, that was like your fastest way as a teenager. Wear a uniform. Yeah, okay. If you really wanted to handle a gun, and that was like

your fastest way as a teenager. Wear a uniform, yeah. Yeah, I mean, the fastest way to handle a gun as an adult is go to a bachelor party where... Yeah, that's true. Where you go to a gun range. Yeah, that'll do it. Yeah. I guess that's become a thing. I've done that. Yeah, I've done it too.

That's the only time I've touched a gun. Yeah, I did it in Scouts, but it was just a small gun. No, I've done, yeah, I've done, Yeah I've done it too That's the only time I've touched a gun Yeah I did it in scouts But it was just a small gun No I've done Yeah I've done like Camp guns Yeah Camp guns

Yeah You ever shot a gun? I was gonna say I don't think I've ever Touched or shot a gun Have you gone Did you ever I've had the opportunity

And I have declined Now we There's a famous Thing Abby repeats Sometimes about Wanting to go camping And she This is famous where? In our family Okay Amongst the two of us Famous thing Abby repeats sometimes about wanting to go camping. This is famous where?

In our family. Okay. Amongst the two of us. In my family as well. Because we think it's funny. Because I went to camp, like cabin camp. Where you get shipped off for a week or two or whatever, right? Sleep away camp.

Yes. And we did a couple of class trips where we slept in tents and stuff uh but my family never went camping and abby once like she's asked me a few times oh it would be fun if we would did this and i was always like what is and she brought it up to my mother once and my mom said Oh Abby, shumkas don't camp I have heard that Lied before, yeah Did you ever go to cabin camp? Sleeping awake camp?

In grade 6 we did Did you like it? Yeah, it was fun Some kids they take to camp instantly And then some people it's a scar on their memory I can see going both ways for me it was good it was good yeah for me it was good too although there was one cub camp cub camp yeah cub camp was a little bit more rough and dumb where i uh faked sick oh

david didn't go home so i could just stay in my sleeping bag and hang out with everyone i feel like cub camp was more like lord of the Flies than just regular sleep away camp. Just camp? Yeah. Yeah, because there would always be, because you were broken up into groups. And I feel like there was always a loser group that everybody picked on. Yeah. And, you know, sometimes you were the pick, you were the ones picking on loser groups.

Sometimes you were a loser group. Yeah, it goes the other way. There's kids who were the ones picking on loser group. Sometimes you were a loser group. Yeah, it goes the other way. There's kids who would never be in the loser group. And then there's kids like us who are like, oh, hopefully. You could go either way. I hope it's not the white sixes year to get picked on. Oh, yeah. There you go.

Yeah. But, you know, every kid should go through some sort of, like, paramilitary, you know, something just so they get a taste. Yeah, not military school, but some kind of like a scout is good. Something where you have to have your fingernails inspected by a grown up. Yeah, exactly. You know, like it could also be dodgeball and all that stuff. But yeah, there has to be like rules. Did you do girls?

Hell no. Like I'm married to you. Yes. No, I've never. We've been together 19 years this year. No, I was not a participator. But not a participator. No, but not interested.

I wasn't interested either, but I was forced. I was forced and I threw enough of a stink that they stopped. Oh, nice. Because it was the fucking worst. Like you threw a, what did they try to get you into? They tried to get me into. For some reason, I picture you skating. Soccer or something.

I don't know. We were just skating for fun. So that was never a thing. That was never a point of contention or anything. The big thing that was involved a lot of arguing and yelling was um catechism school oh catholic stuff right was that school that you had to go to after school or is this when i grew up in quebec we actually had it as a class in elementary school. And you were either in catechism class or the moral education, which was everybody else. Oh.

The Muslims, the Jehovah Witnesses, the nothings, the everybody else had moral education and the Catholics had catechism class. Like we read the Bible at school. Did it rhyme? You looked outside and the moral class is just throwing rocks at each other, just having fun. Having fun throwing rocks at each other? They have nothing to live for and no reason to be nice to each other because they don't have God. Oh, I see. So just let them throw gravel around.

It's fine. Heathens. Yeah. But even back in the day, I was like, this is a thing? People believe this? Oh, even as a young... Even as a kid, it never was like, this is a thing? People believe this? Oh, even as a young individual? Even as a kid, it never made sense to me. So it involves a lot of fights that my parents would make with me.

Because then there was also, you have to get your sacraments. You have to have your first communion. So you were in a Catholic school. Is that right? No, it was just a regular public school. Really? But it was in Quebec. So it's all the churches.

So it's super religious. The churches, their fingers and everything in Quebec. Yes. And But it was in Quebec. So it's all the churches. So it's super religious. The churches, their fingers and everything in Quebec. Yes. And this was the 90s, so things have changed probably since. Yeah, it was the 90s. It was all very different. It was very different. Everyone was listening to Local H.

Yeah, there was a lot of that. I don't know. What is that reference? Some band. Local H? You don't remember Local H? No. I know Rhymes with Orange.

Does that buy me anything? You've heard a song by Local H. I don't want Local H? No. I know rhymes with orange. Does that buy me anything? You've heard a song by Local H. I don't want to sing it because it's kind of tuneless. Okay, here we go. Here we go. And you just don't get it. You keep it go pathetic and you learn to accept it. You know it's so pathetic.

What year did that come out? Oh, 90s. One of the 90s. Okay. Six or seven. Because my experience was like early 90s. Oh, right, right. This is pre-local age.

Well, they had a song about Eddie Vedder. Yeah, all this was pre-Eddie Vedder, 100%. So this, you would go to public school, and then they would ask you, they would say, are you Catholic? And then you'd have to go into that class. And it was an hour a week. Wow.

Or whatever, whatever period. I had no idea. Yeah. Huh. And then everybody else. It was a lot. It was very contentious. And then also when I was having my sacraments, I would have to go to our local church and take Saturday or Sunday classes and like prepare for.

So this was, there was an extracurricular. Yes, there was. And it was the fucking worst. It was some weirdo's house. And I wasn't friends with anybody in my neighborhoods. I never knew any of the kids. Huh. It was not fun.

And then it was all the Jesus stuff. I don't know. This wasn't my jam. Yeah, that's something that I don't think our generation, that our kids' generation will ever do is go to some weirdo's house. Yes, that's not gonna happen anymore for uh like yeah maybe for music classes maybe i don't even then to like learn an instrument people don't even do sleepovers anymore they don't no why chance for i keep breaking into people's houses trying to sleep in them yeah and they're just not having it they call the cops every time yeah everyone's so uptight gandhi's fat so like kids don't do sleepovers anymore some parents are vehemently against it because they

just don't want the stuff that they can learn from each other and the stuff that they can do unsupervised amongst each other and then also the risk of something to happen from an adult in the house that you're not familiar with is also another thing. That's bad. Or an older sibling or whatever. Right. That can also happen. That's the worry for me.

Because like getting, you want your kids to be dumb to other kids. But I also didn't do sleepovers until I was like 10 or 11. Sure, yeah. So like I think then,

I only started when I was 18, you know what I mean? Ha ha ha ha ha ha. I don't, you get it. Why did you... You didn't have any sleepovers before that? No.

There was no sleeping. Yeah, if you know what I mean. But at 18, you did sleep? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was tired by then. All those times, all those non-sleeping nights. Yeah, I guess. Yeah. I guess. Yeah.

I don't know. I just assumed that that would be a part of life forever. Yeah. But, yeah. Yeah. Hey, look. I got mine. You know?

You got your sleepovers. I got my sleepovers. I'm fine. Your sleepover on. Yeah, right. Yeah, exactly. No, I think it'll be. You live to tell.

Yeah, we'll definitely. Like, we've already had one with, like, her cousin. The family and stuff, yeah. But put shaving cream in the guy's hand. Sure, warm water. Warm water. These are things kids need to. Once the kid, like, once they're old enough to know how to work the remote.

Yeah, there's that part, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, I'm not going to stay up all night and choose shows for you. Scroll on Netflix infinitely. Yeah. It's 3 a.m. You're going to watch Veronica's Closet until you fall asleep. Wow.

Netflix would probably change the sleepover game. How so? Well, just like. You could choose what to watch. Yeah. Right. You wouldn't just be stuck watching whatever or go rent something yeah we would rent something right for a sleepover something a little porny yeah and uh you know porkies yeah or something porkies too something

in the porkies genre related uh but now i guess there's nothing really porkies like on netflix though oh you can watch american pie yeah that's true you can probably like there's nothing really Porky's like on Netflix though no you can watch American Pie yeah that's true you can probably like there's tons of boobs for an 11 year old

to explore sure yeah probably there's enough on there swear words and murder and gore

and stuff yeah yeah yeah yeah I mean it's a golden era for all that yeah it's a murder a lot of kids are probably going to watch a true crime.

Yeah, yeah. They're going to see the Ted Bundy tapes. Let's stay up all night and watch that. Let's do it. Oh, he's actually really charming. That's what's so unsettling about this. Dave, what's going on with you, man? Well, so I've been going to a lot of hockey games this year.

Go team. Go Canucks. At the time of this recording, they're not mathematically eliminated. But morally. In our hearts. I don't see it happening. And my brother-in-law works for the Vancouver vancouver canucks and he he's a goalie back up goalie way back yeah like fifth strength yeah 50th maybe that would be the best

call him up just call him up everybody's injured let's do it it just has to be somebody who works for the organization he's in the building no there that is literally the rule is it for real it's it's they've because it's like the king ralph rule because there's only two as we're all aware of king ralph rule there's only two goalies on the roster yeah and so there has been in like nhl history the coach like if you're you're starting goalie gets injured your backup gets injured then there's nobody what uh and uh so like i think sometimes a coach has you know put on the pads oh like in the in the 50s or whatever and then what happens quite often is like if a goalie gets traded and they only have one goalie on the roster for a night they'll sign you know a local

player oh sure a one-day contract fun and it's always like oh what if the regular goalie gets hurt uh but my brother-in-law works for the Canucks and he noticed I actually I don't know the origin of why he did this but he when I go to hockey games i'll often post a picture of the footlong hot dog yes the footlong hot dog i'm eating that night yeah i didn't get to you and your date yeah i didn't i don't think i got to 10 feet of foot long this year and i don't think i ever will i don't think i'll ever eat a hot dog again. After this year. My brother-in-law, I guess, noticed this and he was like, Dave, would you like to do a hot dog tasting at the next game you're going to? And my initial

answer was no. Why was your initial answer no? Because I don't know what a hot dog tasting is and I was imagining it was at Center Ice. Center center ice checkered tablecloth a sommelier comes over with a hot dog to ask you to sniff the bun and then you jam it in your hot dog hole and then i changed my mind and i was like sure what did you have in mind and the fact is i don't think he had much in mind he had to What did you have in mind? And the fact is, I don't think he had much in mind. He had to kind of figure it out.

He was hoping you'd say no. Yeah. Well, I tried to be nice, but... He declined, so... So, but this past Saturday, we went to... I went to a game. And I have a few people I'll invite to hockey games. Sure. Uh, but I had to, uh, limit that list of people I invite to people who eat me and aren't allergic to gluten.

Right. And so I, uh, took Chris Bowman. Chris Bowman. Uh, who is a legendary hot dog enthusiast. Chris Bowman. Chris Bowman. Who is a legendary hot dog enthusiast, Chris Bowman. Who's a MaxFun listeners will know him as frequent bartender at MaxFunCon. Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Post of Let's Drink About It.

Yes. His previous podcast about alcohol. Yeah. I'll say it's ongoing. Oh. It might get resurrected. So. You learned about that in your cataclysm class. Yeah. Yeah. There you go. Resurrection. I'll say it's ongoing Oh It might get resurrected So You learned about that

In your cataclysm class Yeah There you go Resurrection Make it happen Hey man It's almost Easter time Now Graham

You said something that I don't know the answer to this What's the difference Between catechism And cataclysm Well one's religious And one's not So there you go

What's a cataclysm? Like a big... Like a big event. Yeah. Yeah. Something's cataclysmic. And catechism? Catechism.

And then catechism is when it was meant to be. Yes, it was meant to be. And cats. Cat of kittens. Yeah, cat of kittens. And so we, Chris and I Went to Steamers The official hot dog supplier Of the Vancouver Canucks

It's so gross It's the hot dogs then named after Stan Smeal, whose nickname was Steamer Oh boy See, Graham, come on So this place is Stanley Steamers This is Stan Smeal The first Canuck ever to have his number retired Number 12 Stanley Steamers. This is Stan's meal. The first Canuck ever to have his number retired, number 12.

Yeah. Stanley Steamers. It's the steamer. It's the hot dog stand named after him. It's got his picture in front of it. Yeah. And we met my brother-in-law and we met the chef. Hot dog chef.

The hot dog chef. From Italy. Oh, yes. Something, something, hot dog chef the hot dog chef from italy oh yes yes something something hot dog chef call me on your hot dog chef yeah i love everything about this this is great hot dog chef at steamers and we welcome to steamers and we did not know what we were doing or how it would proceed from there yeah and he showed us the menu and he said there are eight hot dogs i think to choose from yeah and they come out of the the back room and it was so steamy back there just just just a towel

it was the turkish steaming hot dog oh boy um uh and so. And so we met the chef. He showed us what was on the menu. Hot dog. Told us what. So there were eight different. Oh, they had a bunch of shit on. Yeah. Toppings.

Steamings. And they. So we looked at them all. Yeah. And we decided on the cheesy. Yeah. The four cheese. Sure.

We decided on the Chicago. Yeah yeah which is bacon wrapped with cheese okay there you go uh we were thinking of something else but then he said that the maui the maui wowi hot dog was the most popular and that's the spicy one yeah with spicy stuff so we got that one and uh oh there was one oh what's it named after it's named i can't remember the name of the hot dog, but it's named after Stan Smeal's hometown in Alberta. And it's, uh, it's like a pierogi hot dog. Oh, okay. So it's got some pierogis on top. The Vagerville.

Nope. No. I mean, they got great pierogis in Vagerville. Sure. Shout out to Vagerville. Uh, and so we were standing there and we were trying to figure out what we were supposed to do. Because like what's been arranged. So we said, well, why don't we.

The promises have been made that we need to fulfill. So we were like, why don't we have two each and you can cut them in half. Yeah. No, you must eat them in the middle. Lady and the Tramp style. We picked our two each. you can cut them in half. Yeah. Uh, no, you must eat them in the middle. And so we, we, we picked our two. There must be photographic evidence.

We picked our two each and I've already said what they are. Yeah. And, uh, the guy, uh, the chef, I guess misunderstood what we said and he thought we wanted two of each.

Yes. That's more like it. So we ended up with eight hot dogs instead of four. Yeah. This gets very close to your goal

of eating ten feet of hot dogs. Yeah, in one night. And so we, they invited us back to watch them prep and they offered to let us prep our own hot dogs.

Aww. And we declined. Yeah. Let the professionals do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This isn't a petting zoo. And we declined. Yeah. Let the professionals do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This isn't a petting zoo. And they... Yeah.

Well, they let us pet the hot dog. But you get... Before or after you cook them? You don't... I know, it's so sad because you name them, you get... Yeah, you get so attached. And then they snap their hot dog necks. Right in front of you.

Spend your sway. right in front of you and so they but we ended up carrying four hot dogs each cut in the middle which was like it was too late but by the time we realized what they were doing we couldn't really protest we couldn't be like oh no

because they were all being prepared and so we ate them and they were good moral of the story i ate they were good i ate half of the hot i you know four half hot dogs yeah so two whole hot dogs two feet and they weren't full logs oh i see they were whatever regulars a third of a foot or whatever well they weren't four inch hot dogs I guess you're right Two thirds of a foot They were probably eight inches Let me just think of what I

Yeah it was about eight inches It was maybe nine God Thick Oh god Deucy But So we ate them

and they were all they were all good my favorite the four cheese it was hot dog paradise it was it was really like

we I had a huge smile on my face the whole time it was very silly and like it was exciting other people around us

didn't know what was going on and we had to like hey was everybody allowed to just go back in the kitchen there?

You were wearing your hot dog shirt, so maybe it looked like you belonged. I did. I was wearing my... Your red and yellow plaid shirt. Yeah,

my ketchup and mustard plaid. Oh, okay. Maybe you just looked, oh, that guy should be back there. Yeah, that guy's,

oh, he's with the hot dog. He needs to be there. I'm over here, but he's over there. Yeah, and so we ate them all sort of at the...

Look, everybody, it's Stanley Steamer. Here he is. We were eating them at the hot dog stand. And then we were like, I guess we'll take the other half of these hot dogs back to our seats. Yeah. Save them for later.

And maybe we can offer them to the people around us as we were walking to our seats. A guy, like, totally his eyes bugged out at Chris's hot dog. Selection. And I was like, that guy was looking at your hot dogs. He wants your hot dogs. And he overheard me say that. He was Australian. And he said, I do want your hot dogs, mate. That's a hot dog.

This is a hot dog. And so Chris was like, you can have them all. And he didn't believe him. And the guy ran away. Slapped it out of his hand and ran away. Chris was like, you can have them all, and he didn't believe him. And the guy ran away. Slapped it out of his hand and ran away. Chris was like, take them. No, take them all. And the guy already had his hands full of two cans of beer.

Oh, buddy. But he took them. He figured away. That's why you need those beer hats. Yeah. And then we went back to the seats. We watched the hockey game. It was great.

Hockey, hockey, hockey. Yeah. And then we went back to the seats. We watched the hockey game. It was great. Hockey, hockey, hockey. Do you remember when we went together and they showed Phil Collins? Like, Phil Collins is watching this game with you. Oh, boy. They did that, but with Tegan and Sarah this time. Nice. Ah. Local celebrities, Tegan and Sarah.

There you go. Supporting the team. Not that local. I think one of them's local. They're from Calgary. Yeah. I saw them when I was a teenager at a coffee shop. And I was like, these gals.

They got it. They got it. Oh, you saw them performing. Yeah, yeah. Not just at a coffee shop. I mean, they were also at the coffee shop. They were physically in the building. No one was like, oh, saw them order coffee and thought, these girls have it.

Yeah. Well, you know, they're twins. a that's already kind of a thing that you're like they've got matching hairdos um i don't know if they still do it would be elementary at least yeah that's that's right one part's the left one part's the right yeah the difference i don't think you could do that are twins are identical twins so identical that they have the same hair part? There's such variation in what a twin can be that I think it'd be fine.

Really? I don't Is hair part genetic? And then sometimes fraternal twins really look like each other and sometimes they don't. I'm talking identicals. But even sometimes identicals, you're like, I get that you're identical, but you're not. You're not fooling me.

Yeah. One of you is famous. One of you has got it. The other one doesn't. One of you is Jughead. The Sprouses. Yeah. The other Sprouse.

Yeah. He could be in the Canucks audience any given game. You know? You're watching with Jughead. Watch him. He'll eat a foot. Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

I mean, I don't even want to. There's a lot of people that would pay good money for that. To see Jughead eat a hot dog? Yep. What are you getting at? So, yeah, that was it. Went to the hockey game. Had a bunch of hot dogs.

Felt like a hero. It felt like a kid in a hot dog store. Then this concludes my season of hot dogs. If I go to hockey games next year, I'm not going to even try. It's, it's, they're not good for you. No, no. But you know that like doctors recommend that you have some every year just to just keep your body in order like let them know that you're the boss yeah like just so your body doesn't get out of line you know what's the best veggie dog uh

the best brand is field roast field roast Roast is the best veggie dog. So delicious. Interesting. I see at the local health food store they have signs for... What's the... The Beyond Burger. The Beyond Sausage. Oh.

I have not tried it yet. But it's on the to-do list. It's on the list. Yeah, absolutely. Eventually. What's going on with you? Speaking of eight inches of hot meat, I watched the Motley Crue movie on Netflix. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, it's so bad. Oh, boy. It's so bad. And you read the book. Yeah, the book is great. I read the book 20 years ago, whenever it came out. The book is great. I read the book 20 years ago, whenever it came out. And it is there.

Four of the worst people in the world. These guys. Nicholas Six. Nicholas Six. Vincent Neal. Neal. Thomas Lee. And Mickley Mars.

Yes. Michelangelo Mars. But four of just the worst dudes. And then the book was them. The four of just the worst dudes. And then the book was them. The great thing about the book was them telling these stories, thinking that they sound so awesome telling these stories. But you as the reader being like, what a bunch of fuckers. What are the stories you remember? Here's what I remember most from the book.

Yeah. That they would put their penises in 7-Eleven burritos. Did not make the film. Oh. Oh. They witnessed Ozzy Osbourne snorting a line of ants. Yeah. And drinking up his own pee.

Oh. And that did make that. That, that not only did that make the cut, that is the image in, on Netflix of like, do you want to watch this? Oh boy.

Um, but it's just like, uh, oh to watch this? Oh boy. Um, but it's just like, uh, oh, it's so bad. Like it is so bad that it almost goes back around to being good again. Almost a little good. It's does it have anyone famous in it?

The rapper machine gun. Kelly is, uh, he is a headliner. He plays Tommy Lee. And, um, who is, uh, Ariana Grande's ex, uh, Pete Davidson. He plays a headliner. He plays Tommy Lee. Oh. And who is Ariana Grande's ex, Pete Davidson?

He plays a record exec. Okay. Oh, fun. And the guy who played Gail Bedecker on Breaking Bad. Okay. Oh, sure. He's their manager. Gotcha.

Good. And the rest is. Is he saying a lot of like, you guys can't do this. It's a lot of people talking to the camera, like saying like, and then this happened. And then they would show what happened because it was supposed to be like kind of a winking. You know, we're all telling our stories to the camera. Yeah. Anyways, just that was an aside that I that I watched it.

You survived? It was called The Dirt, and it was bad. It was bad? Yeah. I watched Gaudi. Oh, I want to watch Gaudi. It's boring. Oh, okay.

It's one of those. I heard it was famously, like, it was so bad, but it's just, like, I just couldn't keep track of, like, I didn't care. Yeah. It was, but then nothing fun, like, I didn't care. Yeah. But then nothing fun. Like, it wasn't so bad that it was funny. Yeah. Like, this Motley Crue one, like, it's only an hour and a half.

And so. Low stakes. Low stakes. Low commitment. Low commitment. Nothing. There's nothing good in it. No good can come of it.

No good can come of it. The music in it is good, if you like Motley Crue. If's got a lot of that yeah there you go they didn't have to get sound alike yeah interesting but you can tell i think that it's the same thing with bohemian rhapsody you can tell that the band was in control because they own the music So then they got to say, keep this part in, take this part out, make this part seem less consequential. Sure. Like where Vince Neil kills a guy. To turn that down a bit and then turn up how awesome we were. Did you see Bohemian Rhapsody?

No, but I heard that it was, that they're comparable films, these two. Interesting. Interesting. Yeah. In that the band still controls the music, therefore they get to say. How it's used in it. Yeah. It's like, originally I heard that Brian May wouldn't let a Queen movie be made unless it focused on how Queen continued on after Freddie Mercury died. Uh-huh.

And I think the filmmakers were like, look. That's not going to work. Nobody wants that. Yeah. We know it did. Yeah. Nobody cares. But with who?

Yeah. With Adam Lambert of American Idol fame. And what about the 20 years before that? Was it like Roger? Oh, the guy from bad company company yeah yeah yeah roger no roger waters is pink floyd okay i could not tell you the guy's name mick something no no i don't know there's a definitely a mick and bad company yeah um but yeah it was uh anyways watch the dirt there you go

and then uh this you uh I think it was last week we were talking with uh

Amy Goodenmurphy uh huh she was talking about how she hates a a car that's super loud yeah and has like a a muffler that makes a

and then we were yeah I love it Dave loves it I will cause I have a custom shop yeah he loves it puts it on every car whether they ask love it. Dave loves it. Yeah, Dave lives for it. I will, because I have a custom shop.

Yeah. He loves it. Puts it on every car. Whether they ask for it or not. Like it or not. And so, like, we were talking about that. We were talking about, you know, motorcycles. All these are the sounds of a spring and a summer. Yeah, the loud, everyone in the city owns a loud vehicle.

Yes. Especially summertime. Yeah. And usually I'm like, come on, keep it keep it down to a you know a fun volume usually you are yeah but then i was walking down uh terminal avenue uh and i saw i heard him i heard it first i heard a motorcycle being super loud revving revving in the high gear and then i looked over and it was a guy driving. He was doing a wheelie down the street.

And it was the best. It was the very best thing I've ever seen. That must have been spectacular to see. In real life. Yeah. Nice. Seeing somebody doing a wheelie. Pull on wheelie.

In traffic. Nice. Jeez. Just living. It was awesome. Living apostrophe in. Yeah. Or an apostrophe.

Yeah. Living. Exactly. Would the cops pull you over for that? Probably. Probably. For being too cool? For being way too cool.

I guess so. Quick. Look cool. Yeah. At that corner at Main and Terminal, there's a lot of cops just like. Waiting. Where they just catch people on their phones. I think, I think in this case.

I don't think he was going over the speed limit. Uh-huh. Sure. I think the cops would have been like, that was a really cool maneuver. You were very cool. You should be in a cool music video. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can you do that thing where you put your car on two wheels?

Can you show us how to put our police car up on two wheels? Like in that MIA video. Oh, sweet. What were you doing walking on Terminal? I was going to the flea market. Oh, okay. Yeah. I went to the East Van Flea, which is a very nice, very well-appointed flea market.

Yes, flea market. And there's the other flea market. And then I go to the real, the real, the actual raw deal. Flea-ridden. Yeah, the flea market. Yeah. Yeah. Got a pin.

Feel really good about it. Sweet. Yeah. What does it say? It says. Toshiba? Honda? Benelin.

I'm a Benelin boy, it says. From Benelin days. Oh, man. I do like, sometimes I'll go to like a thrift store and I'll find, there'll be like 18 shirts that are all from like the Apple store or something. And I say like, ask me about, you know. Whatever the local. The new thing is. One day promotion.

Yeah. And then they've just got all these shirts. I love it. I mean, I never buy one, but I love seeing. Would you buy 18? Maybe. If there was a sale. And then.

Sell and sale. Is a lot. Yeah. Through my own website and say like, this is, check this out. This is some sort of fashion thing. Yeah. Yeah. Have you seen this?

My friend who pops a wheelie says. Radical. Says. Ram. Yeah. So that was my week in a nutshell. Sweet. Recap again. The dirt. The dirt. The dirt week in a nutshell. Sweet. Recap again.

The dirt. The dirt and a wheelie? Yeah. And it went to a wheelie and then flea market. Yeah. And seeing a guy do a wheelie in person, I mean. That'll stay with you. Yeah.

What kind of a bike? Dirt? No, like red racing. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, like a Ducati or something. Yeah, it was cool. A crotch rock yeah and uh this guy was uh he was living up he was in it doing it he's doing it he's seen every fast and furious he's here for it yeah but like i just thought i'd never see that i mean i didn't actively think that but then

when i saw it i was like wait a minute what was the fast and furious that was about motorcycles was there one i don't know it was a torque yeah oh there was a an offshoot yeah oh all right the moment r.i.p uh peter tork of the monkeys was peter gone too soon he was in it yeah what did he play he played uh peter the monkey he played a luthier. He visited the class. There was an episode of Boy Meets World with Peter Tork, who played a luthier. Oh, boy. Deep cuts, Dave. Deep cuts. Yeah.

A rip Tork. Yep. A rip Tork. And should we move on to a little bit of business? Sure. Let's do it. Hey. Hey. Hey. How's it going all right good

i like doing ads yeah me too and we're doing this one uh because they pay us and because we love it yeah absolutely we we would do it for free but we won't. I mean, in the perfect world? Yeah, we would. Absolutely. And I'm talking today about Squarespace. Now. Oh, look who's coming. Who's coming down the dark alley there? It's me. Oh, no. Square face. Oh, boy. Dick Tracy. Hasn't

Dick Tracy killed you by now? Uh-uh. I'm impervious. Oh, no. I did not realize that there was with the emphasis on perv oh yeah yeah square face I hate you so much

you're a pain on our whole society what are you gonna do I'm gonna make my own website that's gonna be an anti-square face website

that's what I'm gonna do and how are you gonna make it I'm gonna go to Squarespace woo I'm gonna create a beautiful website that showcases my work, my blog. I can announce an upcoming event, the killing of Squarespace.

Yeah, just you try it, buddy. And Squarespace does this by giving me beautiful, customizable templates, powerful e-commerce functionality, and everything is optimized for mobile right out of the box oh yeah well i got one of these uh talking uh watches like dick tracy oh boy oh boy how did you get your hands on one of those i just stole it tracy is bad at his job he should have arrested you a long time ago and how did you steal his watch i I don't know. Using gumption? No, stick-to-itiveness?

That kind of thing. If you, listeners out there, want to try Squarespace for free, you can head to squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to launch,

use the offer code SPY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. That's squarespace.com. Enter code SPY. Graham, I'm back. What?

I feel like I was just hit over the head by the big thing. Yeah, it was Squareface, and we'll get him yet. Ah, okay. Well, we're not the same guy. Bye. Back to the show. Overheard. Overheard. Overheard.

It's a segment in which we hear things out there in the world, we share them here on the podcast, and then we call it a day. And we always like to start with the guest, Abby. Would you? I was at a local sewing supply store. Okay. Oh, this is my overheard. I was just, you know know getting the little things i needed

needles threads needles threads things things regular people need um and i overheard i saw a lady just go and dump a whole bunch of stuff on the counter to pay and then all of a sudden a guy appears it was just a lady running the cash register and then all of a sudden, a guy appears. It was just a lady running the cash register. And then all of a sudden, a guy appears. And I can see a security officer lurking around. And then I hear the man say, You can buy this stuff today if you also pay for all the stuff you stole last time. Oh! Wow, you just got told.

And then she was all, And then she just left. Wow. She was trying to make excuses and stuff. And then she just left. If I was her, to make excuses and stuff, and then she just left. If I was her, I would have been like, well, can I steal it today? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Quick, what's over there?

Look at that. That is rough. Like trying to buy something. Once you steal from a place, you can't go back and then try to be a respectable customer. Yeah. Especially if you got busted. Yeah. There's no path to redemption for your shoplifter in the store. And it's a sewing supply store.

Most of the things are like under $3. Yeah. Every once in a while, there's something a bit expensive. Like what? Scissors. Oh, yeah. It's expensive. Some of the equipment can be expensive.

I don't know how much Resale value they'll have On the market Maybe they had a hot thread That came through Oh sure Oh sure Shimmery thread The blue

Like Danny Danny Ocean can't go back To the Bellagio And try to gamble No He can't There's a lot of things Danny Ocean can't do

Yeah He can't swim Despite his name Yeah he can't water ski Yeah Yeah And you know what He can't He can't swim, despite his name. Yeah, he can't water ski. Yeah. And you know what?

He can't stop. Nope. He can't stop with the... He can't stop loving Tess. He's dropping in the high school. Yeah. He loves Tess. He loves Tess. He's guarding Tess.

Loving Tess. Loving Tess. Guarding Tess. Dave, do you have a... Mine's from the hockey game. Yes. Dave, do you have a... Mine's from the hockey game. Behind us, there was a man with his, I'd say, seven-year-old son.

But the son was, you know, talking the whole time. You're going to military school. Yeah. You can't be quiet for the third period. You're going to military school. Yeah. You can't be quiet for the third period. You're going to military school. Yeah. But at one point, the dad just said, oh, yeah, I want to get your sister some popcorn so we can bring that home. Okay.

Thanks, dad. And it just occurred to me, like, you can just make popcorn at home. Yeah. The popcorn you get here won't be the same i know but you when you're a kid you just a souvenir is everything but also like popcorn is pennies to make at home i know but the kid's gonna be like stadium popcorn or movie theaters they there's a big markup on popcorn. Well, you know you can door dash the popcorn at like.

The movie theater? Can you really? Yes. Really? Yeah. How does one get to the concession without, don't you have to show your ticket? Not in this little local theater, you don't. But also a lot of places, they don't take your tickets until after.

Until after the concession. So I could just walk into any old movie theater. This is what you're saying. And I could just go. I could go buy popcorn just on the go. Yeah. Not all of them, but some of them. I like this.

I like this. This could be a whole new. This could be my whole thing. Well, also. Because the ticket taking is after the restaurant. A large popcorn at most movie theaters is refillable. So, you could Get a large popcorn Go for a walk

Take it to work Yeah Take it to work Be the most popular guy At work Yeah Then at lunch Go back and

Get more Refill it With your bag Still most popular guy It's all wrinkled up And No this is still This is still from

Still good Still good Do you have an overheard? Yeah uh i was uh at a restaurant uh where you eat fresh i won't say the name uh but uh i was listening to a guy um very particular about a sandwich i guess you that you're allowed to be absolutely yeah um but he oh you said it was subway yeah yeah yeah oh boy yeah uh and he's uh giving directions as to what vegetables he wants and what and just a little bit of sauce and uh a little bit of this sauce and uh just just a couple more tomatoes and then at the end he goes that's it yummers he's so excited yeah that's it Yummers Yummers They really should

Like emphasize the fact That you're kind of The conductor of this Food orchestra This orchestra Yeah You should be allowed To put on white gloves

If you have a conductor Stick Tap tap tap Stick Yes Absolutely Do we know what that thing Is called

A wand A wand Probably A wand Conductor's wand Conductor's wand Yep I was just gonna say staff

but that's too it's staff's bit yeah yeah um I uh anyways I think he really enjoyed

his sub that day yummers I know I didn't he was very excited while I was eating it I was like ugh yeah the same

what are the things a vegetarian can get at Subway a veggie sub I get a veggie sub they have like a veggie patty thing that's kind of weird. Oh, sure. Or you could just get vegetables.

I just get vegetables. Oh, bread and sauce. Every time. Four times a week. Four times a week, I wake up, I say, is Subway open? Today's the day. Today's the day, just like yesterday. Yeah, just like the day before.

I don't know why I went low. I should have said seven days a week. Seven days a week. Yeah. You need some days off To go to Quizno To go get pizza Honestly

Honestly? Yeah You don't give me a joke answer What? How many days a week Do you go to Subway? I would say that I go there about twice a month

Okay Yeah That's my real honest answer Okay That is honest Yeah And you know what? Even less than

that but there's a subway around the corner from here and sometimes i gotta kill time right there and uh it you know takes longer than a slice of pizza so this is this is how this is how i meet out my works yeah um now we also have overheard sent in from people All over the place If you want to send one in You can send it in to spy at maximumfun.org Also we didn't mention this But Because last week we thanked our listeners for donating to the MaxFunDrive Here's how early we pre-tape our episodes

It's still the MaxFunDrive And last night we went to the Oh the MaxFunMeetup MaxFunMeetup At our local nerd bar And I had a Yeah And last night We went to the Oh the Max Fun Meetup Max Fun Meetup Yeah It was a good time At our local nerd bar And I had

A Romulan ale And it was bubbly It was blue and bubbly And dry icy What did you have? A beer? I had a beer

But then at the end of the night They did a thing where How late were you there? No it was only there Like an hour past When you guys But when everybody Was settling their tab,

they have a thing where you roll, you can roll a dice. Oh, yes. And you get a shot that's on the menu. You get,

yeah. So I got something that had banana in it. Oh, boy. It was really sweet. I liked it. I'd do it again.

And then, another gentleman at our table, he got the weird roll where you get to keep this collectible shot glass. Oh. Oh.

Yeah. Fancy. Someone had Butterbeer. Yes. What is that? It's from. It's from Harry Potter. From Trolls.

Yeah. Dave's up on Trolls. It's from Harry Potter. I would have guessed Lord of the Rings. Yeah. Butterbeer? No, it's Harry Potter. Harry Potter.

Oh, what's Butterbean from Boxing Wrestling He's from the movie Jackass Yes Now this first Overheard Comes from Spencer

In Dallas Texas While driving I saw a storage unit facility With a military tank Sitting on the grass The sign for the business said Self storage We have a tank Yeah You got it Say no more with a military tank sitting on the grass. The sign for the business said, Self Storage. We have a tank.

Yeah. You got it? Say no more. Yeah, that's the security. Yeah, there you go. You got it? Want it. Do I have a tank?

Do you have a tank? I guess is what I have to ask. I guess is where this is going. I don't have a tank, but there is one downtown that's sitting unguarded Oh yeah there is on Beattie Yeah at our old house there was a weird Military

Vehicle Oh yeah At our old house? Yeah around the corner Someone would just put a tarp over when it rained Because it was like I guess not waterproof Yeah bulletproof but not waterproof And it was like i guess not waterproof yeah bulletproof but not

water yeah and it was sort of like a weird did it have treads or wheels no i think it had wheels as opposed to like the caterpillar yeah style i think it had wheels but it was but you never saw it move no it's always i bet it was super loud cool it was very cool. I'm into loud vehicles lately. Yes. We went through a phase. Yeah. This next one comes from Elizabeth from Pennsylvania. I take night courses at a local college, and since they're business courses, I'm usually in the classroom with a lot of bros.

I walked into class a little late and heard two bros in the middle of the following whispered conversation while the professor was getting started. Bro one, you ever had prawns? Bro two, yeah, no, I've never had prawns. Bro one, oysters? Bro two, yeah, love oysters. Bro one, clams? Bro two, sort of offended. Dude, clams?

I love clams. Don't bring clams into this. Yeah. So what do you think that's about? First, I thought it was like an allergy thing. So you've never had prawns. Right. Yeah.

That is weird that you would have had, like, you'd love oysters and never even have had prawns. Maybe. Maybe it doesn't eat anything with the face. And oysters don't really have a face unless you put googly eyes on the shell. Sure. Prawns have that beautiful, those big. Yeah, the big brown eyes. Yeah, puppy dog oyster eyes, or prawn eyes.

Prawn eyes. And then she looked up at me with those brown prawn eyes. And I just couldn't eat her. Last night, my prawn-eyed girl, Abby and I went to dinner and the special was Oysters Rockefeller. So I had two of them. Were you dining in the 1980s? Yeah. 1950s.

It was a very like baked Alaska. Old timey. What was this place? It used to be Nick's Spaghetti House. Oh, yeah. So they do old-timey stuff. Did they really have baked Alaska? Yeah.

No, they didn't have baked Alaska. Oh, no, but they had the Oyster's Rockefeller. Wait, so what's the other thing? Oh, Lobster Thermidor. Yeah, they didn't have that. No, they didn't have that either. Since we don't have kids this week, we're going to a grown-up restaurant. Yes, we're eating out as much as we can.

Oyster's Rockefeller, Clams Casino. Clams Casino would be a good one. I don't know. These are all preparations. Things you've heard. Yes. It's like everything that was made before 1990 was just like the meat, whatever. Clams Casino, I just assumed Clams Casino and a can of cream of mushroom soup

yeah totally everything is just a can of cream of mushroom soup and whatever yeah this last one comes from Benji in Hudson Valley

New York real simple set up here New York City Canal Street Chinatown early 2000s I see Vincent Gallo

eating a hot dog over a public trash can that one's for you sheila now that's an overzeal oh boy vincent gallo's a cool guy i uh went to his website today i was like oh there's a vincentgallo.com is he still still like selling his sperm? I don't know because it hasn't been updated since 2014. When was he selling his sperm?

A while ago but yeah it was for a lot of money and he got to pick like the race of people who got divided. Oh boy.

Nice. Is he canceled? Yes. Well his website seems to be canceled. There's your proof. Yeah. In addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls if you want to call us.

Oh, boy. I dare you. Oh, yeah. Here it comes. 1-844-779-7631. That's one. Ugh. Spy pod one.

Like these people have. Hi, this is Ashley from Iowa. And I was just in the grocery store, and I overheard a lady say to a, I guess, bewildered clerk, Oh, hi, yes, you're supposed to have something called refried beans? And I almost could not contain myself from laughing. I've been told a legend of these refried beans. Like I've found fried beans.

What is this? Refried? Interesting. Yeah. There's whispers in town that you carry. Yeah. This is the one grocery store that has it. The refried bean. Could you make

refried beans? You would have to fry them twice. And then refry them, right? You'd have two pots. I'm out. For those reasons, I'm out. I guess you could. They're just like

an ooze. They're like a paste. They were beans. They were Yeah. They were beans. They're good. They were beans. They were beans that were. Fried. Fried.

Yeah. Presumably. And then. And time passed. And you gotta squish them. They were squished and then fried again? I think so. I think they're squished in between the fries.

I mean, I think we're going to blow the lid off of this. I think we're going to find out these beans were only fried were only fried once yeah why don't they sell once fried beans because of the let you finish the markup let you finish it at home interesting yeah yeah leave it up to you next call hey dave graham and most awesome guests let's see uh i hope this isn't overheard. This is Patrick from Oklahoma. I work in a veterinary office, and in each room, the table is a scale. And so I go into a room to get one of the client's dogs to take it to the back for a blood draw. And she was a very large-tested woman. And I walked in the room, and she looks at me and says, you know, I just weighed my boobs,

and they weigh 25 pounds. Can you believe that? And me, being the social, awkward person I am, didn't know what to say, so just broke down and straightened my face and said, I have no idea how to respond to this, and I walked out of the room with my tail between my legs.

Wait, is he a dog? Yeah, he might be a dog, too. He's got the right job. He's in the right line of work. He's a doctor. Wow. Pretty great. When he was talking about those tables, that every table's a scale.

Sweet, sweet. What about a restaurant where you go and then you sit down. You just dig in. And then you charge. And then you see how much you. We're on the same wavelength here. First, they weigh the plates just so they know. It said zero.

Yeah. Set it to zero. That's fun. Yeah, that is fun. I don't think that's a socially, like, I don't think like, oh, I'm so socially awkward because this woman said a crazy thing. Anybody would have been at a loss for what to say if somebody said that. Oh, yeah, great. Good for you.

Yeah, good for you. I'm sorry? Get your boobs off our equipment, lady. Oh, boy. Also, when he said blood draw, I pictured like a raffle. Yeah, like a raffle. Just get a big bag. There go oh negative oh my dog won't eat out negative um but the uh yeah the well the the there's no way her boobs weight 25 pounds you think she had her thumb on the scale it's 100 possible well. It's 100% possible. Well, I mean.

I'm just about to say, I wonder how many other women are also curious as to how much their boobs weigh. Probably all of them. I wonder how much my boobs weigh. Probably. When you put on those crop tops

and you get your side boob out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When I go down to Daytona Beach. Which I should be. That's where I should be right now. Right now. I'm just thinking like, a parade is missing their marshal.

Like if I was weighing my wiener I would lean a little forward. Just like put my thumb on the scale. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 25 pounds. Okay. Wrap it up.

Numbers don't lie. I'm a real Penis weight queen I only date guys Who are 20 and higher Yeah Otherwise Swipe left

Final overheard Hey guys This is Matt from Pittsburgh With a Valentine's Day overheard That I've been meaning to call in A woman and her friend got on the bus. They were probably both in their mid to late 40s. And they sit down across the aisle from one another, start talking really loudly.

And the subject of Valentine's Day comes up. And the woman says, oh, he did the sweetest thing for me this morning. He put all this red food coloring in my coffee so that when I added the cream, it would turn pink. And then he put whipped cream on the top in the shape of a heart. And the friend said, Who, your grandson? And the woman said,

No, my uncle. And they say romance is dead. Yeah. Sweet. That's such a weird no the red the red food like i mean whatever's going on with the family we'll never know yeah but that red food coloring i want your coffee to be pink yeah interesting let's turn it from brown to pink yeah that's a natural transition yeah jarring at all yeah if you you wouldn't you think that something had gone wrong with your coffee you wouldn't be like what a delightful definitely gonna try that yeah but i'm gonna try it at the very beginning and i'm just gonna soak the beans in blood oh boy that you got from your blood drive

yep was it the movie the golden Child where he digs into the oatmeal and it's blood underneath? What? Blood underneath? Blood underneath. I don't think that I've ever seen this movie. Is that Eddie Murphy? This is a very weird memory coming back to me. Yeah. Who knows how accurate it is. But it's The Golden Child with Eddie Murphy? Yeah. And he has, I remember

he has to walk across the thing without spilling a drop of water from a bucket or a glass. I saw this movie too young so who knows what my memories are of it. I get that. In my mind, I always get it confused

with The Last Emperor. Or Kundun or whatever, yeah. Yeah. Kundun was later. That was later. But yeah. Yes, Last Emperor,

yes. I can see that. But Last Emperor is like a serious. Yeah, and Last Emperor didn't have a picture of Eddie Murphy

on the cover. Well, that's the end of the podcast. You guys have drank all the rosé. It's all gone. Before the break. Yeah. And that's our policy on the podcast.

Once the rosé is gone, podcast over. Wrap it up. People can download your podcast. Yeah, we're on iTunes and other podcast providers. We're a good time. We talk about fashion, but we also make a lot of dick jokes and stuff. It's called? The Fashion Hags.

And where can people find you online if they want to follow you? Look up my name, Abishamka. You're it. That's it. Part of the appeal to become Abishamka was that I'm the only one. Yeah. Nailed it. Nailed it.

Thank you so much for being our guest. My pleasure. I'm'm the only one. Yeah. Nailed it. Nailed it. Thank you so much for being our guest. My pleasure. I'm happy this worked out. Yeah. Enjoy the rest of your kid-free time, you guys. We'll do a puzzle. It's going to be great. Yeah, yeah.

Do a puzzle. We're going to do a puzzle. That's about it. That's all we have planned. I think I might go to the plant nursery and try to get a hydrangea. Watch a movie about a Polish sculptor. I did watch a movie about a Polish sculptor yesterday. So not only are Dave's dreams also super banal,

that he has all of his time off and that he chooses to watch this interesting documentary about a Polish sculptor. Was it interesting? It was okay. Oh boy. It's not the dirt. It's not the dirt. the dirt yeah no there you go well now you have time for that now they got the polish guy out of off your plate that killed boss off my plate babe uh 25 pounder um well thank you everybody out there for listening. If you like the show, please tell your friends. And come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself.

MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artists owned. Audience supported.