Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 578 - Phil Hanley

Episode Date: April 15, 2019

Comedian Phil Hanley returns to talk the Grateful Dead, sad seafood restaurants, and boxing brewers.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 578 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a real boy of summer, Mr. Dave Chubka. How am I a boy of summer? I don't know, you just got a vibe about you.

I'm wearing long pants, I have long sleeves. Yeah, but I don't know, I saw you outside and I was like, boy, this guy's ready. This guy's ready for the summertime. My brown skin's shining in the sun. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I was going to do a reference Well, our guest is a deadhead singer on a catalog Yeah, a deadhead singer on a catalog

Don't look back, Dave Never look back Never Good snag Yeah That voice you're hearing, that's our guest today You can see him in San Francisco at Punchlines June

3rd to the 8th 3rd to the 8th. 3rd to the 8th. He has his own podcast called Keeping Joe. And also he's on Instagram. Phil M. Hanley. That's Phil Mary Antoinette Hanley. Phil M. Hanley. Please follow me. Yeah. That's some good plugs

right off the top. Good plug work. His name is Phil Hanley. Phil Mary Antoinette Hanley. Hi, Phil. Hey, Dave, how's it going? You do seem, your house seems really summery. Yeah, we do. Well, no, we do have, boy.

Guava juice. We've got that guava tree in the back. Yeah, yeah, you've got a guava tree. We've got, what's the... That fake grass everywhere. What's the Australian Craigslist? It's something like guava tree. I don't know.

Is that true? Yeah, there's something tree. Yeah, it is. Isn't it gum tree? Gum tree. Gum tree. Wow. Yeah.

Learn your continents, Phil. Yeah. Do we want to get to know us? Oh, absolutely. Get to know us. Phil Hanley. It's been some time since you've been on the show. You know how long it's been?

When I was taking a cab over, I was going through, if I hear a good overhear, overheard, I always put it on my phone and then when I'm feeling responsible, I'll type in overheard. And I looked, and some of them were from like April, like 2016 and stuff. That's crazy. No way. You've been here since that. Oh, really? Maybe I didn't use those ones.

But I think so. Is that, I think it's been about a couple of years. Yeah. Well, it's nice to have you back. November 2016. 2016. Oh, wow. Okay.

Well, it's nice to have you back on the show, man. Thanks, man. It's good to be back. So you might be doing an overheard that you've already done and just don't remember. Yeah. So prepare yourselves. Yeah, really ham it up, guys. So what's been happening?

You live in New York. I live in New York. I came home to do the club this weekend. Yep. And yeah, I've just been living in new york touring uh a lot i'm trying to think of anything monumental that's happened since i was last here do you tour like every week uh this last few weeks have been good i've been yeah the last few months have been pretty good i've been tuning around and then the fall i was open for aziz for

like six months so that was yeah so that was uh that was like constant yeah and that's in theaters he started in clubs because it was when his tour started so we did we did a bunch of clubs and then he like slowly actually it wasn't that slowly he graduated to theaters pretty quickly yeah did he not know that he was famous when he started that tour well i think was he did he think he was canceled i think he i think he thought i i think he was he his it just came the set seemed to come together really quickly i think but oh i see uh i think he wanted to work it out i don't know it's weird that we started and he sells a lot of tickets yeah and um yeah so it was fun and we played places that i'd never been before Like deep south

And stuff Like where we were talking Chattanooga Really? Yeah Yeah cool town Chattanooga We played

We did a lot of in the south And then we did What's in Chattanooga? What's Chattanooga? In Tennessee Okay Tennessee And we played all

And I thought of you Graham And of course I thought of Dave When the weather got nicer You know boy It's summer and stuff And I thought of you Graham And of course I thought of Dave When the weather got nicer You know, boy of summer And stuff But I thought of Graham

Because we were playing These old theaters And my first question When I go to an old theater Was do the Marks Brothers Play here Oh yeah So we played all these

Old vaudevillian theaters It was amazing Wow And what was the Hit rate Hit rate was pretty high Enthusiasm was quite low On the question.

No one really wanted to engage me with me on that one. Just a Beppo. Beppo at the end. But Chattanooga sounds like a place that the Marx brothers would say that they've been like Tallahassee, Chattanooga, Walla Walla. Yeah.

Well, I'm trying to think of other like Southern, we played a lot of places that, yeah, that I, of and i never got to play but they were great and these these old vaudevillian theaters are so small that a lot of them were designed before like performers would be amplified so the audience is like close up they're shockingly good so much better than like i don't know like a more modern place yeah you know like we played an opera house in toronto that was fun and visually was great, but it wasn't as good as like some thing that was built in like the 1920s.

And your opera. How was your opera? Great question. In my opera. We were actually, one of the comics on the show was Matteo Lane. He was here for the festival. Yeah, yeah. And he's a really funny guy, but he's trained in opera.

Yeah, he can sing. Yeah. Oh, he can sing. I can do that. To hear him belted out in an opera house was, yeah, I hope they like my jokes. But yeah, there's a lot. Well, that's really, like, that's, so that went on for months? Kind of six months.

What's your? Six months. Yeah, we started in. The gig. Yeah, September, and then we finished. He's still touring. I'm off for a few weeks, kind of just doing my own shows. And then we'll do a week at the end of April.

Cool. Yeah. My first question in an old theater, can you guess it? Do you guys have Wi-Fi? What's the Wi-Fi password? Where can I hang out my coat? No, haunted. Is it haunted?

Oh, is this haunted? Oh, great question. I don't know. People stop talking to me after the Marx Brothers question come out. But yeah, I'm sure some of these places, because they are crazy old, and I'm sure there's like, you know, if a place is going to be haunted, it's going to be an old. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Best be an actor. Yeah. Um, these, uh, these small towns that you go to, I assume like Chattanooga is small. Yeah.

Chattanooga is pretty small. Yeah. Knoxville played Knoxville. Yeah. Oh, world's fair in 1984. Exactly. Did you get you,

uh, because you're arriving the day of the show, the show that night so do you get to like look around the town at all yeah i would i would try because it's so easy to not the things i would always do because it's so easy you you arrive and then you'd like it's easy to go like airport hotel venue and then either to the airport that night or you know leave early in the morning so i would always always. No after party? We'd get dinner somewhere, but even that you're like drives, you don't really see.

So I'd always make myself walk around the town and then I'd always make myself go to the front of the venue. Like when I'm done, I would walk around the venue because otherwise it's all, you don't have any idea. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah. But you didn't see anything. You don't even see any ghosts no ghosts

you didn't feel any ghosts ah do you believe in ghosts uh i'm interested to talk to people that do for a limited amount of time uh but uh no i don't know i know uh yeah i mean i people seem quite convinced yeah the people who believe in them are very convinced yeah yeah what are you do you believe in ghosts uh i believe in there's some there's something there's some dimension that i don't understand what about crystals do you like crystals yeah i believe in i believe that they exist what about the healing power of my magnetic bracelet uh yes i believe in that i believe in the hurting power of your slap bracelet these are all all things I believe in. But I, when you, do you believe,

like, I always think of like, uh, energy, like there are energy. Like if you go to an old comedy club, it feels different than like, you can just feel it.

Like it's like going to be a better venue or a better show than say like a modern, uh, right. The Vaughn yuck yucks, for example. Like, would you feel more,

you know what I mean? Someone had a bad shoulder. I think we played a game together. Yeah, I think we did. Yeah. Went to Daryl Sittler's, or there's a restaurant named after a hockey player. Dueling Pianos. There was a Dueling Pianos next door, yeah.

There was a Dueling, is a Dueling Pianos like a chain restaurant? Yeah. And Graham and I. But it literally does have two, like it's built around dueling pianos. And we would go. They're not player pianos. There's guys there? There's guys there.

There's guys there. Or ladies. And ladies. Anyone can play piano. This was back in the old days before women were allowed to play piano in public. This is like five years ago. But there were these complexes in ontario and it's a it's a wendell clark restaurant right it's a dueling pianos

yeah and then it's a yuck yucks and uh all you need oh you need every place you can get curly fries and uh we would get to the venue we wouldn't know there's gonna be dueling pianos and we would hear like like someone belting out Elton John and grandma and I'd be like, Oh my God. Cause we knew these people would be like, just getting sung to for, you know, piano man.

And then come into the show and they'd still want to yell out like Billy Joel request. Yeah. Something from glass houses. And we'd be trying to pursue our dreams. Yeah. And I mean, most of my closer is doing the last song from glass houses and the microphone smelled like a beer but yeah it was elton john and billy joel almost exclusively pretty much yeah yeah it's weird that

i guess it's sort of a cultural difference that in Toronto, in the Toronto area, the venues, the things that former athletes open are bars. Yeah. And here it's all Steve Nash Athletic Club, Trevor Linden Fitness. Yeah, that's true. Oh, that is. That's interesting, yeah. And then in Alberta, it's all car dealerships. Oh, car dealerships.

Yeah. Oh, really? Jim Poplinski's. Jim Poplinski's. And there was another, oh, it's all car dealership. Oh, car dealership. Oh, really? Jim Poplinski's. Jim Poplinski's. And there was another, oh, who's the other guy? There was another Calgary Flames guy that opened a car dealership. And that became like, yep, that's what you do. You have a hockey career.

Then you buy a lot of cars, open up a dealership. I can see that. Yeah. I mean, you got to do something after a sport like your sports career is done by the time you're whatever now well i mean back then 30 yeah so like then you've also you've got 30 more odd years you have to work yeah and you've got a nice little nest egg yeah like i was watching uh one One of these Cake baking shows Okay

And One of the couples Was like The guy was a retired NBA player But he was like Hey Phil Can you turn that up

I'm so sorry I had the little moon On the thing man That should not have rung Yeah well You're getting a phone call From Mark again y'all Yeah

He's He's my He does stuff for me. He edits a podcast and helps me with mine. He's your fixer? Yeah. He gets it done. Yeah. He just put job done.

Taken care of. Yeah. One less piano player in Vaughn. I have a vendetta. Oh, no. Yeah. How would you kill a piano player? Piano wire.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I mean, that's almost a cliche. Slam his head in the thing. Yeah. So touring all, like you're getting to see America up close. Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah. And then. Just like the Grateful Dead. Totally like the dead. Touring. That's the part that I didn't want to get into this, but part of my thrill

playing these venues is like Chattanooga, for example. I don't know why he keeps bringing that up. Bob Weir, my, you know, one of my heroes

just played there this weekend. So you get, yeah, these venues are very historical. It's not just the Marx Brothers that play these places. No, no. A lot of other people you guys don't seem to really care about. Bob Weir.

On our tours, anytime we've done venues like theaters or things, I notice that in Canada, it's mostly like a Creedence Clearwater tribute band. Yeah. Creedence Clearwater tribute band. Yeah. And then, you know, like, whoever's left in sticks

is touring as sticks, you know? Yeah, as stick. Now, I feel like, you know, Queen got a biopic.

Yeah. Motley Crue got a biopic. Yeah. Why No Grateful Dead biopic? Or is that something as a fan that you even want well they they put out um i dot amazon put out a documentary uh it was like five hours long geez did you guys see that no no right but surprisingly comics of friends of mine that ridicule my love for the dead have watched it and been like it's pretty good yeah i saw it in one sitting at a movie theater five hours yeah five hours geez and uh and the

director was there this is really embarrassing i haven't told uh anyone this story besides i think my girlfriend at the time but uh the director was there is that why she broke up with you yeah that was it she broke up with me hour two. So she's like, there's no intermissions. But I, this is, this is one of the more embarrassing moments.

So the director's there, all these New York deadheads and New York deadheads are really interesting people. Cause it's like these like weird kind of like tweed, like intellectual people. And then, you know, people that look more like a stereotypical deadhead. Right. And they're all surrounding the director. And I want to just thank him because I was,

the documentary was done really well. I can't, can you imagine putting together a five-hour documentary? It's just like a mountain of work. And that's what he trimmed it down to. That's what he trimmed it down to. Or maybe it's just like, we don't know this. We could have, oh, one hour I forgot to edit. Yeah, you're like, oh, one hour I forgot to edit. Yeah, you're like,

oh boy. There's just like, I left the camera on the ground and walked out. Sorry everyone. His child played a big role. Fast forward, fast forward. To the guy in the projection booth.

So I went to just tell him that, uh, I, uh, how much I enjoyed it. And I got very, I got all choked up. It was quite humiliating. That's not humiliating.

I felt like, yeah, like even like, like some, you know, dude that's prided himself on looking like Garcia for 30 years was like, all right, buddy, let's dry those eyes. So it was brief. It was brief, but it's great documentary. For the, for the listener phil's a grateful deadpan yeah he didn't just he didn't just go see a five hour but he uh as long as i've known him yeah and not it's because it's trendy now it's so insane that it's it's it is trendy now why is it trendy? I think people like the shirts. They're cool shirts.

They were way ahead in the logo biz. They were ahead in the logo biz. And they were ahead in like, they basically did what like music sharing is on the internet. They did that, you know, since like the 70s. You could go to a dead show, tape the show, and then trade it with people. Oh. So they, uh, it is trendy. Now it's, I'm,

I'm fine with it. Cause it's, uh, just cause then I get to see more. Have you seen John Mayer? I've seen dead and co. Yeah. I've seen them probably like 10 or 12 times or something.

Yeah. 12, 12, John Mayer, grateful dead. I've seen them. I've seen them a lot. I've seen them a lot.

Yeah. Yeah. And like, have you ever done the done the traveling around following the band? Yeah, like I would go, I would go like say Chattanooga. Yeah, you know, I hit the big cities. Getting back to Chattanooga. No, yeah, I'll go like my friends that, like say, whenever I play San Francisco, I always play the weekend before the dead play or the weekend after the dead play. So this weekend, I go the weekend before and then go to the shows and then with some friends in San Francisco and then do my weekend at the Punchline.

This is, this culture fascinates me. Like, because how many total times would you say you've seen the? fascinates me of like because how many total times would you say you've seen the uh

well I mean I saw them when I was a kid with Jerry and then and then since then this was part of

the Jerry Lewis telethon you were one of Jerry's kids yeah there was a lot of t-shirts that said that

really Jerry's kids yeah in the 90s um pretty good but uh yeah like

oh definitely over 70 like wow of different things like maybe 80 or something like that like a lot because you miss it's not as much as like when garcia was alive you would miss like oh they played this tune they haven't played this tune in 25 years or they played this like or they would have like you play that many shows 100 shows in a year whatever they play some of the shows are not going to be as good as others especially because they're improvising so you might miss a hot show so you try to go every night because you don't want to miss when they're really rolling and and then like branford miscellus might come out or whatever

like there's all these exciting things that huh that would be exciting yeah branford yeah was he was it branford or winton who was the original Tonight Show? Tonight Show, Kevin Eubanks. I think it, wasn't it Winston? No, was it Brantford?

It was, I know Winston was involved. Huh. I don't know. I don't know. All right, fine. The,

is there any band that you would see that that many times? 70 times? And they don't repeat set lists. That's the thing. Okay. People are like, people, like i'll have a friend who's like into pearl jam they'll be like oh they pearl and then you look at the cell and i'm like they played jeremy like every night like i can't sit through the same tune the dead never repeat they'll have like i bring my

jeremy's kids t-shirt they they never repeat the same show or like they would go like a week before they repeat the song again right so you never you know but that's because they play eight 40 minute songs they play uh yeah they play longer songs but uh whatever yeah they play the tunes they they jam it out but is it is it it's all improvised like i mean there's a song there yeah they're definitely get a suggestion from the crowd. Yeah, they go, Noodling! They don't.

It's really hard to play drums behind somebody. I'd be okay with that. We got Cob Corn and... Yeah, they start... They have a theme and then, yeah, they kind of jam it out. Wow. Yeah, so you see nights where they're not. What are the themes? What do you mean they have a theme and then they, yeah, they kind of jam it out. Wow. Yeah.

So you see nights where they're not. What are the themes? What do you mean they have a theme? They have like a chorus and they have the song, like they'll start playing a song and then they'll, you know. It's not like Star Wars night. No. Oh, that would be the best.

I'd like to hear the dead do. But there is, no, but there's like nerdy. No, I won't even get into that, but there'll be a night. There's a rumor. There'd be a day where like Garcia saw staying alive at the theater. So then he's jamming. You hear, he plays like staying alive. Little things like that, that, that would, that bore people.

But like, it's like a thing. Like it's a, it's like a nerd thing. Like it's a thing that it's 100, but like it's like one step away from being really into like, yeah, like Star Wars or whatever. Like as far as like, yeah. So I totally keep all this stuff under wraps. And then you meet a dead fanny and just go crazy. But then you don't talk about it again for, you know, like my poor girlfriend is just like, I can't. She's like, could you improvise a conversation about the doing some

new so i never talk about i never talk about it really yeah like i'll talk about it like i have some friends that are are fans or john mayer will come to the comedy cellar and i'll be like are you guys gonna play lazy lightning are you guys gonna play simplification like you know but i try not to but how can a dead how can a dead head and a non dead head, how do you, how do you make it work? I just never taught. I mean, I listened to the dead while I work. So I listened to the dead by myself,

basically, if I'm like writing and then when you listen, you're listening to live, live shows, live shows. Yeah. Yeah. There's,

and there's thousands of shows. So you get, there's like 2,400 times they play. So you, yeah. Yeah. You'll have an era that you, yeah.

So I listened to that by myself and then, uh, she will come to a show. She'll come an era that you, yeah. So I listened to that by myself and then, uh, she will come to a show. She'll come to like, say if they play a fun city, she'll come in. Then she's just there for the, yeah.

Chattanooga site. Yeah. I mean, Chattanooga is a no brainer, but you know, um, are you, do you do drugs?

Uh, you know what? I don't do drugs anymore. I certainly did in the past, but now I'll go have a, like an icy cold brew. Yeah. Just,

yeah. Just critique the whole thing. So like, I get very, uh, Cisco and Ebert. I go with my friend, my best friend,

Pugs, who, you know, we've been friends since high school. Pugs? Yeah. Pugs. Okay.

And he just, he just, you know, I'm like a smart ass and he, he travels from where, where does he live? He, he's in Toronto. So he's going a smart ass and he. He travels from where, where does he live? He, he's in Toronto. So he's going to come to San Francisco.

So he'll fly to Toronto, to San Francisco and see it. Or he'll come to New York. They always play in New York. That's cool. Yeah. So you've got, you've got a, a, somebody that you can share this, this obsession with. Totally. But he, he's hilarious.

Cause I lose my mind. Like I get really pumped and Pugs is like the most low key. He'd be like yeah that's pretty good you're on fire and I'm like oh my god see because

do you have a nickname? I've had like nicknames yeah like nicknames over the years but Pugs yeah just stuck because that sounds

like a nickname of a guy doesn't it? it sounds like it's short for a longer Pugliacci he's Italian is he a sad clown for a longer pugliacci he's italian he's a sad clown yeah yeah he was a villain in an opera and that's got to be a picture somewhere

like a pug all done up like pugliacci yeah that's gotta be that's gotta be somewhere um but like is that that's a childhood nickname yeah he got that yeah he got that he was pugsley just pugsley at one point and then it got uh just chopped the pug yeah yeah i don't know well i mean uh if you look like pugsley when the adams family movie comes out you're stuck with it oh is that what pugsley achi is what is it pugs Atchie? What is that? Pugsley Adams was the, he's the kid in the Adams family. Oh,

I didn't know that. And Pugley Atchie was a tragic clown. Oh, that's funny. Okay. I didn't get, I know about the

tragic clown, I guess. Is that from Seinfeld? Yeah, there was the crazy Joe Devola dressed up as him. Yes.

And then there's the, the whatever, not a joke, but it's like the, it's the guy goes to the doctor, says, I'm depressed. And the guy says, you should go see Pagliacci, the clown. And he goes, doctor, I am Pagliacci. Oh, right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And then he's like, I don't know what to tell you. Yeah. Try these antidepressants. Yeah. I mean, I try not to medicate this stuff right away, but I guess, yeah, you really got me over a barrel here, Pagliacci. I mean, I should have guessed by all the clown makeup behind your ear that you didn't get there.

The name on your chart is Clown Pagliacci. Clown, comma, Pagliacci. Phil, do you feel like we've grilled you too much about the dead you know what i'm so self-conscious about talking about the grateful day because i'm worried that it sounds like when people start talking about the like bar scene in star wars or whatever and they're like it's the only time no but we're asking yeah it's true that is true and and i'm i'm fascinated by it. I was talking to a woman like a couple months ago that she follows around or has followed around the Dave Matthews band. Oh, that's like a similar fanship. Yeah. And you hate it.

You hate it. Well, I don't care for it. No, no. Yeah. It's just like people always compare fish and the dead together. Right. And but just because people follow them around. Yeah. Is that why. Yeah. It's just like, well, could people always compare fish and the dead together? Right. And, but just because people follow them around. Yeah.

I think fish. Yeah. Fish was inspired by, um, I think their fans. And they're jammy. They're jammy than the Dave Matthews band. Yeah. Right. But there's still such a far cry from the dead, but people often assume that I'm, I'm

also a fish guy. I've only been to, I went to one fish show cause, uh, uh i i got tickets and they played uh oh canada for some reason the first show is so weird that's when uh when the jamming gets out of control when you're like well let's just hit him with an anthem yeah yeah the theme was uh that show was the 1988 winter olympics that was the that was the ask for um but are those those are the three bands that i can think of that people follow around oh yeah what's the string cheese there's a tanya there's a widespread panic people go to panic shows i don't even yeah i'm not even aware that that what is that that name there's other ones

too there's um and again the only i've never listened to another like jam band for like three longer than three minutes it isn't the dead but uh but there's you know the there's a bunch of like something like green tea something um operation ivy but there was no there was nobody that rancid there's nobody that people would say oh the dead is just a modern version of this jam band from the 40s yeah yeah yeah totally yeah well no one would yeah no one it is actually i because i'm not into it yeah but i like i can see how you know ago, someone was like, the song's still going? This is revolutionary. Yeah. But that's what jazz was.

There was crazy long, 25-minute long jazz songs that were just improv. And they did things. They were putting out albums albums and people used to just get paid per song and the dead changed all that because they're like well that's insane we're putting out one song like terrapin station is one song you on side like the one side is just one tune so they're like we're not gonna get you know so they change music in a lot of in a lot of ways but they like oh that's weird that you used to get paid by the song Is that why songs were just like, there were songs about like taking a bath? Yeah, yeah.

Just running a bath. There was one song about running a bath, one about taking a bath. There's songs about coffee, just like looking around a room. I have to do 30 songs an hour. They're all two minutes long. Suspenders, suspenders. Keep my pants up, yeah. That's as good as any song from that era.

And then they jam on it for 45 minutes. Dave is miming. Playing suspenders. Plucking suspenders to make some kind of wash base in tune. Playing suspenders. Plucking suspenders to make some kind of wash base in tune. Well, I mean, I wish I loved it. Like, I don't, there's no music that I love as much.

Is there a band you've seen more than any other? No, no. Like, I think of every band I've only ever seen once. Like, I've never seen a band, I don't think, more than once. It's weird it's to me it feels it's just nice to have like any like an interest because otherwise i'm not in sports i mean some people are just insane about sports yeah and i'm not insane about sports yeah or like people like go fishing or whatever i don't this is somewhere i'm like okay i'll meet my friends well i'll go do this thing yeah i know people who would like travel across the country to see their you know see the green bay packers play the grateful dead yeah

but yeah like i guess it is just being into a thing yeah right am i into a thing like would i travel no i don't think i am i don't think i'm into anything that i would have a gun but you will not travel yeah that's true you like to go to like uh vintage stores i do that's true i love i love a good vintage store or a flea market or something like yeah yeah yeah that's true but it's it doesn't feel like i don't feel like i feel very alone in that pursuit i don't feel like there are others yeah yeah going somewhere like whoa those those peddlers were really they were hitting it tonight yeah yeah but it would be it would be nice it would be nice to have a thing that you know that you know everything about oh totally but that is also continuing because like

you can know everything about a band or a group or whatever that's dead. Yeah. Stopped. Yeah. And then, but then there's nothing more to know. Yeah.

This'll go on like long. Like there'll be people talk about it. Remember the band talking, it'll be like Shakespeare where someone will always be performing dead stuff. Cause there's, then there's, uh, there's another band.

There's a almost dead, which was, do you know about them? No. They've, they're like, they're like a version's Almost Dead, which was, do you know about them? No. They're like a version of like, they just play the dead, but it's like they play it quite sped up. And hipsters are like so into this band. Almost Dead.

Joe Rosso's Almost Dead. And is that, like, do they have to like give some money over to the dead? No. No. And then there's another band. The dead's not making any money yeah then there's the dead they just wrote one song they never got paid for it there's and then there's a there's a band that's been touring for like 25 years called the dark star orchestra that just play they play a full dead show and at the end of the night they

reveal what show it is it's crazy and they sell like tons of tickets like it's a whole industry but they reveal like the big reveal is this was no but that's a thing san diego yeah this is june 1992 but people were talking about it the whole time like oh this is you know oh this has got to be uh cops coliseum 1990 like this has to be uh you know whatever i love it did they play cops coliseum in 1990 they did is that where you saw them no i was too young to go but uh this hot shell though nine yeah it was a spring 90 that was the first time you saw them did you go with the with your folks i went with uh older i went with friends and then a friend's older brother okay and wasn't completely honest with my parents where i was going yeah because they wouldn't have let they wouldn't have let their young son go no because they would if that they

would have been like for sure there will be drugs i like that you're grateful but that's where you lose me i went we went i'm from a suburb of toronto we drove to chicago without uh without telling your yeah without parents. What a brat. Yeah. It was a, it was a nerve wracking drive back. Oh boy. Yeah.

Hey mom, do you know where my passport is? Yeah. Go to sleep over. Go to sleep over. I just need my passport and, uh, like a hundred bucks.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's, yeah, the, I can't believe, like, I don't think you could cross the border now if you were a minor. If you were a group of teens. Yeah, I don't think you could. Yeah, no.

I know people who, of my generation, who, yeah, I guess we're the same age, but like who had lived in, lived right by the border and would like go to taco bell oh yeah it was so much more it was like mellow like you you first off you didn't need your passport no you just had a for for a while even before the driver's license thing like people thought that was crazy you had to have a driver's license but before that it was just i think you just went yeah and then they like, we should have some kind of check. It was like, I remember being a kid. The big thing about crossing the border was shopping, like buying too many.

And now it's like, obviously that's like the, so far down the list, they're worried about you. Yeah. I remember it was like, oh, we got some fruit in the car. Yeah. Yeah. I remember fruit. I remember bringing was like, oh, we got some fruit in the car. Yeah. Yeah. I remember fruit. I remember bringing fruit into America. Or like people, because American friends will like talk to me about it.

But when you guys were kids, we'd go like, for me, going to the States would mean like I could get like better colored Chuck Taylors and like, like they didn't have that here. Yeah. For us, it was like cookie crisp. You could get cookie crisp. Yeah. You could get all sorts of exotic cereals, candy bars. It still is like Trader Joe's

Like people will go And make a day Of going to Trader Joe's Oh really people And Target Okay I live I live The last two apartments

I've had have been Across the street From a Trader Joe's People go Even in the states People go nutty Like it's like Insane lines and stuff

That's some people's Grateful debt That is That's actually Kind of a Venn diagram with a lot of overlap yeah yeah i can see there's some parallels like those do they have a uniform there yeah they wear often they wear uh hawaiian shirts yeah that seems like it might be and they're so insanely pleasant and like helpful and nice at trader joe's it's really uh night and day than most shopping experiences that you have well like the the guy uh that was on the cosby show wasn't that trader joe yeah yeah and everybody approach yeah

l eldon yeah and uh a lot of people i remember when that came out people were like i've been El Eldon. Yeah. And, uh, a lot of people, I remember when that came out, people were like, I've been to that trader Joe's. He's very nice. He's very nice.

And it's a good job with the benefits and, uh, it's discount trader Joe's. I think they, uh, yeah, I think, I think you get shares in the company.

They do something that makes sense to make people want to work there. Right. And then also be like pleasant and. Yeah. Be pleasant. And it's like, you know, it's like cheaper food and stuff.

Yeah. You get a deal. You get those penguin gummies. Ooh. Oh, do they have peng? I'm going to, I'll bring you some.

Yeah. I've multiple people have said, Hey Dave, I'm going, I'm visiting Vancouver. Do you want anything from Trader Joe's? And I always say penguin gummies. Oh really? And no one ever comes through. Oh, I will. I'll, I'll totally do that, I'm visiting Vancouver. Do you want anything from Trader Joe's? And I always say penguin gummies. Oh really?

And no one ever comes through. Oh, I will. I'll, I'll totally do that for sure. It'll come through. Okay. Thank you.

I'll mail you some. So I'll see you in eight, you know, 18 months. Yeah. Oh, I forgot. Care of Huxley.

Uh, Oh yeah. Does anyone send us any mail anymore? Uh, not for a while. All right. Mail us stuff. The mailing address is it on our website when we post episodes do people send you guys stuff sometimes yeah yeah they had for a while we had a like a long streak of every week we were opening mail on the show and now we just we've run out of topics and we just so what kind of guitar does

bob weir play uh would you like to answer that question when you talk to john mayer is he ever like do you have any questions about my solo material or my burgeoning stand-up career or uh because is he still doing stand-up he no i've seen he's done because he did it at the cellar yeah he no but i've seen him uh i've seen him on stage like playing i think like jeff ross was on and he was like playing piano or something behind jeff ross oh i wouldn't want to do that you could get roasted get roasted roast master right if you want oh boy oh boy that Mayer, he's fearless. Yeah.

And he actually, he was pretty funny. He had some funny... You don't want anyone that handsome to be super funny. No, I don't want it at all. It's the same as when Jim from The Office, it turned out he was a really good director. He directed a really good movie. I'm like, I'm uninterested in him being good at things.

Yeah, but he had some... He was like like he again he was playing piano but he had like some quips that were quite funny really yeah and uh he and then he maybe i should start playing with yeah yeah chappelle they tour together yeah tour together which is a weird yeah i haven't seen the show but yeah but uh you know the what's how many people are there for just oh boy like that's i mean which one of them is gonna do four hours together they do an eight hour long show chappelle came to the cellar and did uh five hours yeah he went on at midnight and he got off at like 5 30 in the morning does he hate going home it's so it's it's insane like it's could you like i like picture an hour and then you that's like doing i just did a weekend he did more time or yeah he did more time than i

did over the five nights yeah in one In one shot. Like, sometimes, but as an audience member, sometimes, you know, you, of course, you want to leave. Yeah. And you're like,

okay, this guy's, the, the, the headliners winding down. Oh, no, he's got another,

oh, there's another bit coming. Yeah. And that's just in a regular 45 minute set. Yeah. Yeah. And like, just like,

uh, how would you know when it was, you know, over? Yeah. Yeah. I think people by the end, there was like maybe 30 people. Wow. In the thing.

And then is the club like, hey man, thanks for keeping them that extra three hours. They got really drunk. Yeah. I don't mean. Their days are ruined. You think about the staff. Yeah. Cause the staff have to stay

yeah i think she like from what i've heard your pal like you know tips and and stuff like that yeah yeah yeah um yeah it's a long night man five hours yeah i don't i i don't understand who that who is it for is it for him is it for the who's working out a quick five hour yeah we got this new four hour chunk i want to do four hour chunk i got booked on the tonight show a hundred days in a row and i really want to get those five minutes i'm doing now to December. It's, yeah, it's, it's really, it's, it's a long time to do standup. And,

um, I've seen, I've seen him do like, even if to do an hour, cause it's like a, it's a showcase show. It's a showcase. It's a showcase showdown.

Yeah. It's a showcase. I've got a big wheel. He took, this is what happened to me on Thanksgiving. Uh, Chappelle came and like, it's, it is, is it's exciting like the whole turkey on stage no he took the crowd he went on before me i was first on thanksgiving yeah and he he came and he wanted to go on first which normally he'd go on at the end

and he at one point said to the crowd he's like i should take all you guys back to my hotel and have a party. And I'm waiting to go on. And normally, normally what happens is, uh, this was at the cellar. So the club is in the basement. There's a restaurant up top. So you just sit at the table with your friends and you eat and whatever. And then,

you know, who's going to the most to come up and be like, okay, I just let them, you got like two minutes. So you go down in the stairwell and you get ready to go on. So with, uh,

I didn't know how long he'd be on. So I'm like watching this show and I'm watching one of the greatest comedians on the planet perform so it's like interesting and stuff and it's fun but in my head i'm i'm thinking okay i gotta follow dave chappelle it's not the most relaxing experience to know who you're gonna you know no yeah they very rarely offer that at a spa. Mother's day. We got a special relaxation massage or you can follow Dave. So I'm like sitting like waiting and I'm like, you know,

I would be enjoying the show more if I didn't have to go on. Yeah. And, and, uh, so yeah, so he does about an hour and then he, he'm like, you know, I would be enjoying the show more if I didn't have to go on. Yeah, okay. And so, yeah, so he does about an hour. And then he says, like, I should take all you guys back to my hotel and have a party. How long were you expecting him to do? I thought he would do shorter because it was an early show. So sometimes he'll go on. Like, he doesn't always do, like, he only did five hours once. And he's been performing at the Comedy cellar for 25 years or whatever right but um i thought because he went on first i thought he

might like he has gone on and just and it's amazing to see that him just go up to work on one bit like when he was doing uh radio city music hall he did like 15 nights or something there right and he would go up just to work on a bit so that's interesting yeah wow this is a guy just working but um he's i didn't expect him to i knew i wasn't going to do like a crazy amount of time but i was waiting you know i know it was a pretty crazy amount of time going first when you go first and it was like an earlier show yeah um so he did it he did calling you out dave no but i mean the crowd i mean but i recognize as someone who's there, I'm like, this is why every show is sold out here because people don't know. Maybe they will pay $15 and get to see Dave Chappelle.

Like it's, so I, I, I appreciate it. And I had more shows that night and everything else. So, but I'm like. Which you were late to. Yeah. Which, yeah. Oh boy. But, uh, uh, so yeah, so I didn't, I knew he wouldn't do like a crazy,

crazy amount of time, but he did an hour and then, but at about like the 45 minute Mark, he said to the crowd, I should take all you guys back to my hotel and have a party. Right. Yeah. And I thought,

oh, that's nutty. It didn't really think anything of like, I'm still waiting to go on. I'm looking at my jokes. And then he brought up again and brought up again. And then like an assistant or a friend or someone like came, I was in the doorway with the manager and says like,

he's, I think he's serious. So they have to like hand out the bills and stuff. And he was, he, he walked up, Chappelle walked off stage and the whole crowd, I have video on my phone of the audience streaming out of the club to go to

his party. It was insane. Yeah. Yeah. insane. Yeah. Yeah. Fun. Yeah. That is fun. I mean,

that's, there's your incentive to go to the club. You never know. You'll see Dave Chappelle and also get to go to a party. Go, yeah, have Thanksgiving

with his wife and kids. But also like, the idea of like, oh yeah, the whole crowd is leaving now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Thanks. I'm like yelling bits as they walk out the door. But like as a club owner, I'm like, that's actually the opposite of what we want to have happen here. We brainstorm it. We come back. But everyone paid. And yeah, I mean, but even like the club, no, they understand that. Yeah.

It's, you know like chappelle's gonna come they i mean he's never done that it's like the 70s steve martin dude leading people down yeah primrose path it sounds like uh yeah it sounds like a happening yeah like uh around the same time uh amy schumer was there and then uh was there and then Madonna came and was like on stage. That's weird. It was weird, but people lose their, like they just go insane. I guess it would go insane if I saw Madonna somewhere. Yeah.

I mean, people were voguing. They were, you know. And she's like, oh boy. Not a day goes by with somebody voguing at me. Stop voguing at me. Well, Graham and I went to New York and saw some famous people once. Yeah. Well, we saw Coco, Ice-T's wife.

Yeah, we saw Ice-T's wife, Coco. Where did you see Coco? Just on the street. Walking down the street. Really? Yeah. Graham and I were like, we're not the kind of guys who walk down the street really yeah and uh graham and i were like we're not the kind of guys who walk down the street and say check out that lady's ass and we were like

kind of like shame on us yeah and then we got closer like oh sweet yeah it's a famous but it's a very famous but she was just she's just cruising down the street was she with iced tea no no she was walking down the street and getting into a msuv okay uh but it was like yeah the whole time i was like why is that ass familiar oh it's a very famous it's very famous yeah coco yeah do you see a lot of famous people does coco come in harassed did uh no i no i uh i haven't like anyone like super remarkable. Twice, the best spotting in New York, I had twice I saw Lou Reed. I saw Lou Reed years ago. And then I saw Lou Reed again before he passed away.

And you yelled, you've aged. Yeah. No, I recognize. It's funny because I heard a voice both times. I was like, oh. And I turned around. It was like Lou Reed. That's a good New York spotting.

Yeah, that is. That's classic. David Byrne riding a bike. I did see David Byrne riding a bike. I forgot about that. Yeah, I did. around it was like lou reed that's a good new york spotting yeah that is that's classic uh david burn riding a bike i did see david burn riding a bike i forgot about that yeah i did i did in the last couple years that's pretty good i don't know if you maybe mentioned that or that's just a ubiquitous thing i think that's fairly ubiquitous i hope i said that right you did yeah uh dave what's going on with you man ubiquitous yeah you big with us. Yeah. You hardly know us. Oh boy, what should I talk about?

Was that all me getting to know? Yeah, buddy. Oh my goodness. I feel like a dominant. You're our guest. Oh, that's true. When you hear what's going on with me, you'll be like, oh yeah, no, it makes my life interesting compared to Dave's. No, I just felt like I was a real chatterbox.

So in my new neighborhood, since I moved, a few blocks from me, there's this restaurant. It's a chain of restaurants, but there's one close by. It's called the Captain's Boil. What a terrible name. That's the name of a restaurant? The name of an Ontario chain of restaurants. And there's a few locations out here. They have dueling pianos.

They have dueling, what is it, Lansing's? Nightly Lansing's. It does seem like it's that kind of a boil. Yeah. But what other kinds are there? Well, it's a restaurant where you boil things. Oh, okay. And the first time I saw a picture of the inside of one of these restaurants

it looked so good because it was a like a table with uh brown paper on on it and just like a bucket of crab and stuff yeah pour it on top and uh i was like oh i'm gonna go to this restaurant and then i did a little bit of research and all the reviews are really bad. Oh, really? All the reviews, this place stinks, this place smells bad. Holy cow, this place reeks. Disappointed with the Lansing. That was a pimple.

And the, and they, so yeah, I started doing some research. And apparently a lot of the reviews are like uh yeah everything kind of gets brought to you in a plastic bag yeah that is nasty and like people take pictures of it and it's like that thing of like you know in tupperware if if you keep like curry in tupperware and the tupperware, if you keep, like, curry in Tupperware, and the Tupperware turns yellow. Turns that color, yeah. It's a lot of, like, clear plastic bags with, like, that are just, you know, red and yellow tinge. And so I was like, ah, maybe I'm never going to go to this place.

And then a few weeks ago, I noticed that they stopped putting the light on outside like the open light yeah i was like oh is this place closed and just leaving buckets of crab out the door i gotta get rid of this and so i um uh and then a week after that they were like scraping the the crab they were laughing they were scraping the crab um you know drawing off the window yeah uh there but there's no and there's like no sandwich board outside anymore but it's very dark inside and it would have to be the way if they're serving stuff in plastic yeah yeah they're gonna keep this on the dl and so i um i tweeted at them because i actually i ended up calling the restaurant to ask if they're open i don't know why i was never gonna go yeah and i i called them and uh didn't get an answer so i tweeted at them and i asked if the

location was still open and this was their reply ahoy matey we be open please call me crew at and phone number if ye require any assistance oh so they've got a like a themed twitter account yeah that's fun yeah so that's that's how i discovered that they have the best twitter account so they are even though no sandwich board No open sign And It's clearly closed Oh really And then I Like a couple days later

It was taken off Their locations on the website Oh You know who's always last to know Twitter guy Yeah Absolutely Yeah

Well he's at Is this place still open You bet As far as I know Yeah You know Tell me anything I wrote back

Looks pretty close to me, matey I don't know why I took it I had nothing invested in this Except I wanted it, it seems like a dream restaurant Until The reviews are like Yeah, they brought us a bag of food And those

Plastic gloves for when you dye your hair oh oh then they asked us to dye the chef's hair which we thought was inappropriate don't you i feel so bad when i see like a chain like that so someone spent their life savings it was a bad idea and i bet you whoever is in charge of the that chain like a chain like that, so someone spent their life savings. It was a bad idea. And I bet you, whoever is in charge of the, that chain is a real, like, you know,

could be a real great salesperson. Right. And then they sink all this money. It's worked everywhere else. Why, why wouldn't it work here? Maybe, maybe it's just closed for,

for a moment. And then they're going to come back with Vim and Vigor. And yeah, one crab got up into the light fixtures and they got to close it down. Find that crab. Cause he's causing all sorts of trouble. There, there's a web, like you can up into the light fixtures and they got to close it down, find that crab because he's causing all sorts of trouble. There's a web, like you can go to the local webs. I was obsessed with it. So you can go to the local like health department website and it tells you every restaurant and what their, the complaints are and like when they get inspected and what they pass and what they fail at.

And it's, you shouldn't go to this website because every restaurant has something. Everybody fails and then passes a day later. That's pretty comforting. Everybody fails. They all just address the problem the next day and it's fine. And this place didn't seem out of the ordinary. You think serving in bags, though, would cross some. Like, I know, like, restaurants get a bad, if the, you know, when it's like, sometimes it's like open concept and you can see the kitchen. Right.

That might get, like, a lower rating. So, you think the bag thing would be, like, a huge, you know what I mean? Yeah. It's, look, I feel a little bit, you know, I don't feel great bringing this up. I don't want to be, you know, trashing a small business. Um, it sounds like it's a huge, big bit. Like it's a chain though.

Right? Yeah. Yeah. That's right. Yeah. It's, uh, this is, I mean, I guess this is the podcast about chain restaurants. That's true. Nobody's tapped that market.

So why not us? Um, uh, yeah, so That's true. Nobody's tapped that market, so why not us? Yeah, so that's me. Oh, the other thing going on with me is, I don't know if we've ever talked about this on the show. John Travolta. Uh-huh. Do you follow him on Instagram? I don't follow anybody on Instagram.

What? You have no, zero people? Zero people. That's smart, man. I spend a lot of time scrolling. Yeah, and I needed to do something, and you can't not have it on your phone, because that's the only way spent a lot of time scrolling yeah and i i needed i needed to do something and you can't not have it on your phone because that's the only way you can yeah so i was like i need to do something to make this oh so you did used to follow up people john travolta yeah only john

travolta only john travolta and paul stanley those are my two um so john travolta is famously bald but covering it up yep and for the last the last, like since new year's Eve, he's been posting pictures of himself completely bald. Really? Yeah. Yeah. And for him and, but not acknowledging it at all.

Just like, and his posts are all like, uh, Hey, I just want to thank everyone for the support and all the great comments. Like, it's just like a, an endless feed of like him getting nice comments and thanking people for the nice comments. It's, it's the one thing. Like, it's just like an endless feed of like him getting nice comments and thanking people for the nice comments.

It's the one thing, like, I feel like there's a lot of, there's not a lot of things that like Phil and I automatically said, good for him. Like, there's not a lot of things that a man can do that we would just automatically be like, good. Yeah. But going bald and just being a bald guy. Yeah. And he was. We appreciate it. His post, like you could tell, he hasn't gotten used to being bald yet

because his post the other day was just the top of his head with sunburn like healing all over it. Yeah, you got to. Lather that dome up. I bet, I wonder if it's because people are like, you're not, I'm real enough. And this will get people to think you're just like them. Just flying your private commercial jet. Personally flying it yourself.

Yeah. But I mean, if there's anything that, like, that's what I think about Jeff Bezos. I'm like, he may be the richest man on earth. Bald though. He's a bald guy. So that gives him, that's like if he had like a thick head of hair, you'd be like, well,

this guy's unstoppable. It's like John Mayer and the jokes and the guitar. And handsome. Yeah. Good for him. So, yeah, John Travolta's bald everyone loves it yep and uh captain boyle captain's voile is great i feel like it could be so great yeah i mean you know

live crab live crab dude live nude crab crab every night i remember my hometown i'd always heard about red lobster like in the states and stuff like that and then i went there was one came to oshawa and we went to red lobster it was pretty disappointing yeah it was like that story could have gone yeah like either way you can't get a deal on seafood like you can't you know what i mean the quality suffers when they start like shipping it and whatever they like an oil drum or whatever they pack shrimp into i don't know you know a shrimp drum yeah but hey thank you they'll serve the shrimp in so many different ways yeah yeah they'll butterfly it yeah oh boy uh okay jumbo it yeah uh you know you saw corn it saute shrimp this is my character the guy who names all the ways

from from the forrest gump secret no no no this is completely unique popcorn did i say popcorn have you been to the baba g? No but I've been by it Okay I've been by it And I feel sorry for You know whoever works there Is like a struggling

That did not move to New York To work at bubble gum What if one was? Maybe That would be heartwarming But I feel like it would be people that You know I love their commercials

I want my bubble gum Bubble gum Bubble gum Chili Bubble gum shrimp A barbecue sauce Graham what's up with you? My bubblegum, bubblegum, bubblegum. Chilies. Bubblegum shrimp. A barbecue sauce. Graham, what's up with you? The other weekend I went to a pub.

My parents were in town and I took them kind of to different sites around town. And then we went and had like dinner at a pub. Did you show them the grave plot you got for yourself? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here will lie. And then I put the date of my death. dinner at a pub and did you show them the grave plot you've got for yourself yeah yeah here we'll lie and then i put the date of my death um uh and at one point a guy got up and like started like testing a microphone and i was like oh crap like we've accidentally gotten the pub yeah like i was like this is gonna be an open mic night or karaoke or something like that. It's not going to be good. Yeah, we've picked the wrong pub.

And then there was like a huge group of people on the other side of the pub. It's kind of like two halves of this pub. And so the other side was packed. And this guy was testing on a mic. And I was like, this is going to be. Or maybe this is like some work thing or something. And he started like making announcements and we couldn't figure out what was going on so we just kept listening and what was happening and they kept saying like

uh you know this name and then this name and two people would go up but we couldn't see what was going on and uh they said like, and from this brewery, so-and-so and this brewery. So I was like, okay, it's something to do with breweries. Yeah. And we figured out after long enough of watching it,

that it was an inter brewery family feud. Nope. Boxing. Huh? Like a boxing league. And they, they were announcing the upcoming matches. Wow.

In the different weight classes. Wow. Yeah. These were the weigh-ins? These were where you stand with the fists up and get your picture taken against your opponent. Crazy. Yeah, it was crazy. It was the most entertaining.

It went on for about 45 minutes, and I was like, oh, this is better than any show. You got to go to the fights. Did they say when the bout i've been like googling and kind of keeping track of uh but yeah i'm gonna go to the fights absolutely it brew a brewer like something that is a brewer yeah brewers yeah you it sounds like it would be like a really macho job but then you would meet them and i feel like now it's not a macho job like i feel like it's a monster job in the like 70s and 80s. But now I feel like it's like a kid, you know, like kind of like rides like a unicycle to work or whatever. You know what I mean?

Yeah. Usually when I like think back to brewers of the past, I think of Jim Brewer and love that goat voice. But like, I think because you work at a brewery, you're constantly sampling beer, you're getting a little pudgy so this is a way everybody's getting oh in shape smart and violent yeah smart and violent yeah uh and it was crazy because like everybody that went to do the kind of pose i was like is this uh uh co-ed yeah yeah uh it was co-ed and everybody looked uh like they're they're in the best shape of their

lives like yeah everybody looked like a fighter which boxing is a very difficult workout oh my god it's brutal I've done it have you deadly yeah I used to go to the some center down in uh when I first started comedy I would go and work out and box with these guys at the. Bentall center. Oh yeah. And, uh, yeah.

And then, and I weighed so less than these like business guys and they would, we, they would like want us to spar and I would get injured. Yeah. Yeah. Cause they weighed, they would weigh like a hundred pounds more than me.

That's, uh, it's, yeah. I mean, just sparring with somebody who sounds exhausting. Yeah. No, getting punched. I'm more interested in sparrow yeah you know sparring a couple a couple guys going to sparrow yeah totally that's something you can do on like on your lunch break yeah so i yeah i can you imagine how nervous you would be you're gonna fight in front of all your co-workers

fight in front of all your co-workers against somebody who's not a co-worker so you don't know like how violent this person is that you're absolutely but they're like you could drink their beer and be like oh this seems like it's violent beer yeah yeah this has got some violent notes um but you know what i mean like uh if it was within your own company you'd be like well i know you know ted's not gonna try and like knock my head off but if you're like this there's some guy you don't care yeah exactly yeah i don't know how you say like i don't know how you sanction something like that like i because usually like you have to go through a board and all this stuff so there must be some sort of. Yeah.

Because you can't just have boxing matches. You can't just get people fighting. I mean, that's like, that's like Fight Club. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're not supposed to talk about that. Are you sure that you weren't just watching a bum fight weigh in? Yeah, because they don't do those indoors. So, yeah, it was crazy.

I've never seen anything like it. I hopefully will be around when the fights are yeah did they say when they're coming up uh i think they're like because there was too many for it to be one night so it must be really yeah like it was like 45 minutes of people but like okay so like they would come up for one minute yeah like and do a picture and then they would announce the next oh yeah there was like a lot a lot of people and also if i was maybe there's too many breweries in town yeah i have no idea there's so many breweries was it it wasn't just two breweries it was a oh no no yeah yeah okay it's like it's several if i was a if i ran a brewery i would start hiring just temporarily like uh mike boxers

yeah totally vander hollyfield's doing a couple just one shift a week yeah uh uh should we move on to a bit of business okay oh it's business time, guys. And oh boy, are we, are our faces red about this one? Covered in egg. This, this, this first one is a Jumbotron message. And this is a Jumbotron message that was sent in February. Yeah. On Valentine's Day. Yeah.

We missed it because we were just, you know, we were ordering flowers and chocolates. That's true. Yeah, we were making reservations for our various. Graham and I have secret wives. Yeah, Gumaz. Yeah, it's hard to, you know, keep our regular love lives and our secret love lives and our Jumbotron love lives straight. It's very difficult. And we don't make it work.

Yeah, but we make it work. We're sort of Tim Gunning it. Yeah, yeah. Well, we are now. We vowed to now Tim Gunn it. Yeah. So, the Jumbotron starts with, sorry. Yeah, and it also starts with, make it

work. Oh, there's Tim Gunn here? Oh, yeah. Okay, guys. Jumbotron. This one is for Ethan. And this one is from adrian who writes happy 24th birthday well you know what it's not your birthday it's your birth month birth month yes months yes and you know yes you're so special to us yeah happy 24th birth month ethan you are a man whose smile lights up any room he enters and always makes me laugh oh the smile does yeah it's goofy it's goofy yeah it's like

a goofy son i love you more than words can tell mom oh this uh this ethan sounds all right and you know what this mom she's she's no uh slouch and you know what we don't make it we don't come off great in this no we don't uh you know what we're we are a couple of slouches yeah so uh happy birth months ethan and if anyone wants a jumbotron go to maximumfun.org slash Jumbotron and see if you get one. And Stop Podcasting Yourself is brought to you in part by ZipRecruiter. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.

Is that our friend ZipRecruiter? Well, yeah, ZipRecruiter. Oh, boy. Hopefully, too. ZipRecruiteriter it's a hiring season I mean every season is hiring season depending on the job that you're in but it's challenging

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That's ZipRecruiter.com slash S-T-O-P. I've got laryngitis. Oh, no, you can't go on. I can't do it. ZipRecruiter, the smartest way to hire. Hi, it's Allie Kokash, one of the cast members of Mission to Zix, a new addition to the MaxFun Network. We're blown away by the welcome we've received from MaxFun listeners,

telling us you've discovered the show and are binging it hard, supporting us during the drive, and just being rad humans all around. Mission to Zix is an improvised, obsessively sound designed sci-fi comedy epic following a group of ambassadors as they explore the ass end of space. I play Dar, the 12 foot tall omni-sexual security officer with furry scales, chest talons, and a series of flaps and chutes that are for... you know what, you'll figure it out. We'd be delighted if you joined our crew aboard the aging, sentient starship, the Bargerian Jade,

as we travel the Zix Quadrant meeting all sorts of weird aliens played by brilliant guest comedians. That's Mission to Zix, Z-Y-X-X. Overheard. Overheard. It's a segment in which we hear things out there in the world. Sometimes we write them down in a note, you know, in our phone three years ago. Yeah, yeah. And then we share them here on the podcast.

We always like to start with the guest. Oh, really? Yeah. Okay. This was in an airport in Phoenix. Maybe I've done this show since I documented this, but this was three years ago. But I put it in my phone. It was a woman. It was an airport.

I forget what we were lining up for, but it was one of those magazine stands, I believe. And this older woman said, there was two very old people. So old, you're like, God, I would suck traveling when you're that old. It looked old. It looked exhausting. And the older woman turned to the guy and goes, do you like Bat Midlaler and he said not particularly

and that was it they were silent that question and then silent again yeah but i mean like better get an opinion on this absolutely and uh the guy could have been a little more engaging do you like bett midler i don't dislike betette Midler. She was great on Seinfeld. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. Rochelle Rochelle. Yes. She was great in The Rose.

I would say not particularly is exactly how much I like Bette Midler. Really? I think I like her more than not particularly. But I don't particularly like her. Hmm. Yeah. No, but I think she's someone that- I think she's great, but i don't spend a lot of time

liking her i think i would say i like her particularly in particular i like really yeah didn't they did am i making this up or did they did she at some point do a duet with mick jagger um is that a thing no that sounds right yeah like i feel like there was a time in the 70s you know there were a lot of drugs flying around and like yeah a lot of duets lots of people getting up on stage with other bands yeah feel like jagger and you know yeah they did a cover of beast of burden oh that was what it was yeah i guess it's not a cover it's he wrote his song yeah and then, then they did the rose and then they, uh, they closed it down. I, uh,

yeah. Uh, the rose, I find very common for some reason, the rose, though it's supposed to be a sad song, the rose in MacArthur park. All right.

How does the rose go? Uh, some say love. Yeah. It is a river. Yeah. It flows like a rose somewhere. Yeah.

But it's from a movie that's very much like kind of, it's like a rose somewhere yeah but it's from a movie that's very much like kind of it's like a like a star is born came out in that same era that the um

barbara streisand one came out in and uh that's like the title song from that she plays like a boozy yeah

yeah she's she's divine yeah ask me if i like if i'm if. She's, she's divine. Yeah. Ask me if I like, if I'm, if I like Bette Midler.

You like Bette Midler? She's divine. There you go. See, that's the answer. Yeah. Yeah. She's for the boys.

She's scenes from a mall. She has my birthday. Oh really? Yeah. You share a birthday with Bette Midler? Yeah. Remarkable. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. That's pretty good. Uh-huh. Um, divine even. yeah december um do you have an overheard do i yeah yeah do i have it over here do you uh so our uh kids were away for a week yeah abby and i sent the kids to military school for just as just as an open threat this is what it'll be like just for uh you know uh

well our kids are in rotc i don't know that is uh but they uh yeah they were with their grandma and grandpa for the week and where were they on gabriola island oh cool okay um and so abby and i went out for breakfast the other day and i was like you know what i might want to go to metrotown mall today and she was like i was just thinking the same thing really that's why you're that's why you're married that's why you gotta and we would never ordinarily go to such a thing, especially on a Sunday. Yeah. It's the crowds. Oh, yeah. I'm a weekday mall guy. Yeah, you do the-

Yeah, get in 11 in the morning on a Tuesday. Well, we went on a Sunday at 10.30, got to the mall. Mall's not open at 10.30. Oh, not even for mall walkers? Oh, I mean, the mall, the grounds are open, but all the stores are closed. Okay. Oh, wow. You can walk through it yeah and so we're like oh oh okay i guess well well we're not gonna not go to the mall now uh and so we uh walked around and i i saw there's a few stores where people are like

waiting to get inside yeah one of them, the Apple store. People have appointments at the moment it opens. There were a bunch of people waiting outside the Nespresso store. George Clooney. I can't believe there is a Nespresso store. All they sell are the pods and the pod machines. Really? I think so. They also have a genius bar.

Something goes wrong with your pod machine. Set up your Nespresso. This one has Wi-Fi. Yeah, I can't. My grandkid screwed this up. And there was a guy outside and it seemed like that way. You know when you're a kid and you're obsessed with a toy and you know everything about the toy and you're telling your parents about the toy and they don't care. Yeah.

And you're trying to convince them to get you the toy because it would actually be beneficial for me. I would learn a lot. It actually teaches you, you know, dexterity. you know uh dexterity uh so this this like 60 year old guy was outside the nespresso store with his wife and he said it does make good coffee though premium says it right on the package uh yeah i'm as surprised as phil is that there's a shop do they serve coffee i think they probably serve coffee uh just to try it right i don't know i've never gone in i've but i've seen them in like different cities there's there's wow several other malls i don't go to a lot of why did you want to go to the mall do you mind me asking you know what i wanted to go to uni clo oh yeah i didn't get anything

oh really you know what i bought two pairs of socks and a bunch of kids clothes okay uh just because he thought it was fun to try them on and like look how big i am and then once i tried them on they were like you have to buy me i'm sorry you've ripped the sleeves off that jacket. You need to. But yeah, Nespresso store is all over the world. Huh? Yeah, I can't say I've seen one. You know what? I'll find you one in New York. Yeah, please.

Graham? My overheard was two teenage gals walking up the street. I was sitting on the bench. And these two gals walked by and all I heard was, yeah, she smokes now. And the other one said, cool. Very adult decision. I've been hoping to smoke.

Just trying to work the nerve out. But like, in this era, smoking is like, it must be, that's a really bold step when vaping is so readily available. It's vaping. Cause I know vaping is very popular and it's cool. And I kind of know what it is. Yeah.

It's the best. I don't know. It's there's, there's, I mean, you blow, you blow fat clouds. Yeah. Yeah. Um, is it cheap? Uh, it's cheaper than smoking. Smoking is very expensive.

Yeah. It seems endless. Vaping seems like, when do you know it's over? Like when you, you know what I mean? Like a cigarette, you're like,

there must be some, you're like satisfied. Yeah. You're done with a cigarette. Yeah, you're done. And you put it out and you move on with your life.

What little you have left if you're going to do that. But, but a vaping, it just seems like it, it does seem like it looks like a three month supply. Cause you see the little liquid. Yeah.

And it does seem like something that just like, you're right. That just kind of goes on and on. Yeah. Yeah. Like it's just something you're doing from morning till night. Like, I mean,

I don't, I don't smoke, but to say coffee, you get the last sip and then you're like, okay, I've had my coffee. You move on. When do you know it last sip and then you're like, okay, I've had my coffee. You move on. Yeah.

When do you know it's time to stop? They like, yeah, I guess you could like, I don't know if, uh, it's like, do you have enough supply to last you a long time?

And you're just like, I'm done. Yeah. I got to get back to work. It's not like you have to recharge. Like they're like after each cigarettes worth of nicotine, you have to recharge it or is it like a a an electric toothbrush that vibrates every 30 seconds oh right yeah yeah and yeah it

gives you kind of a warning light to recharge it yeah i don't i don't know the all the technicalities of vaping i don't know but you're right it is something that people do all day every day yeah and uh i I remember when, what was the first one called? Like blue or something like that. And they got Steven Dorff. Yeah. It was the guy.

I was like, good. Lit a hole. Yeah. Yeah. And then, and now it's, uh,

uh, Goodfellas. Oh yes. He's, he's big on it. Yeah. Who? Ray Leo.

Ray Leo. Ray Leo. Yeah. Is that what, cause he does ads for. Oh, is he, is he. big on it. Yeah. Who? Ray Leo. Ray Leo. Yeah. Is that what, cause he does ads for. Oh, is he, is he Chantix?

Yeah. That's not a vape. No, but I bet he vapes. Yeah. I mean, I don't want to slander him. But is it,

does he also do vape ads? Or no, I was, I was thinking that he was, he was the new Stephen. They really should get Jewel to do Jewel. It's a no brainer. Yeah.

But you know what she's holding out she's holding out for more money she wants shares in the company yeah i can't blame her um but yeah i don't uh uh i don't know jules like made its way to the front of the pack yeah jewel the only reason i know jewel is just from comics referencing it on stage. I just read a thing about teenagers love Jewel. That's all I know. Oh, really? They love Jewel. And they love Jewel as much as they loved Jewel when I was a teenager.

But if you are confused by this, Google Jewel. Yeah. And then Google Jewel. And you'll know the difference, okay? One of them you vape and the other one sleeps in her car. Yeah. Discovered by Flea. Discovered in her car by Flea?

Discovered, I think she was busking in the sidewalk in LA, and discovered by Flea. I love it. Or was that Alanis Morissette? No, that was, no, I think it was Jewel. Or was it Anthony Kiedis? It was Anthony Kiedis. No, it was Jewel, I believe.

But then he played on that big Atlanta Sports set album. He played on, yeah, and Dave Navarro. And I think the drummer from the Chili Peppers. They all played on. Oh, yeah, Chad Smith. Yeah, I think they all played on. Jake Little Pill. Or whatever the first single was.

Won't you, oh, yeah. Down on me in the theater. Is she perverted like me? Yeah. Let me do the whole song. And who played keyboards on it? Paul Schaefer. Ben Montinch.

Oh. From the Heartbreakers. Ah. Ben Montinch from Tom Petty? Yeah. Oh, okay. I would never be able to read that guy's last name. Oh, is that a tough one for you?

I'm dyslexic, so any last name or street name is just brutal because it's a word that I've never heard generally. People are throwing man chench around. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that's fair enough. How do you do with Jewel and Jewel? I was thinking, I wonder if you Google, and this would be really a bummer for Jewel. Yeah.

The person. If you Google Jewel, I bet you, do you mean J-U-U-L comes out? Oh, that's interesting. I bet you that. And now you're just like, he's serious, man. Yeah. I was here first. Flea discovered me.

Yeah. I have the bestselling poetry book of all time. Yes. Is that true? Yep. A Night Without Armor. That's a huge, that's a huge feather in your cap yeah i mean i don't know especially when you're not a poet yeah but you know what yeah like if not that i'm the poem police why am i the gatekeeper of poetry no but it's an interesting point i've always thought of you

as the poem police um no we also have overheard sent in from people around the world if you want to send one in you can send it into can i send one in yeah absolutely that'd be fun send one in do you text you you no send it to this spy at maximumfund.org okay yeah i'll call you um i did just google jewel yeah and it said did you mean the poet Jewel? There you go. Oh, good for her. This first one comes from Jason in Greeley, Colorado. Was in the makeup aisle of a Target today and overheard a conversation between a mother and her daughter who was around four. They were talking about St. Patrick's Day and the little girl was naming all the makeup options on the shelf and saying how she can't believe it doesn't come in green.

The daughter then saw the hair dye and screamed, I'm going to dye my hair green. The mother quickly said, I don't think so. The daughter was silent for about 20 seconds and then said, Mommy, you like looking at leaves, right? The mom said, yes, I do. The daughter screamed, then why won't you let me dye my hair green? That's a pretty good, she's like a future lawyer.

Let me ask you this. You sit around all day staring at leaves, right? But is it not true that you love the color of leaves? And if you like dyeing your hair, can I suggest a restaurant where they give you the gloves? Yeah. Everybody goes in, comes out, big crab around the mouth bleach blonde hair yeah um and i also just want to reiterate that i don't even care about poetry so like why am i why do i disparage jewel for writing it i don't know it's wrong it's wrong i apologize but she she wrote a book of poetry and just

dominated the field is it was this recent i feel like i should be up on this though it was in the 90s yeah 90s yeah it would have been like at her her kind of uh peak fame oh gosh i'm gonna see if i can google one of her poems please yeah yeah yeah absolutely um, absolutely. Okay, here we go. Okay, here we go. Oh, boy. Where does it end? It's like a jewel. Yeah. Well, okay.

Jewel has included some of her poetry. The following poems are available on this page. Me. I don't want to read me. Me is really long. I don't want to read me. Me is really long. I think they're all pretty long. I don't think there's, it's like a sandwich. What an idea.

Like, I don't think it's that type of poem. That's what I like. Yeah. Oh, she does have some very short ones. Oh, really? Okay. Here we go. This is one called Criticism.

This is the shortest poem I could find. The savages are upon me, and i feel my flesh burn beneath the teeth of their indifference whoa i don't really get poetry i don't like i've never i would love to be moved like i just want to i would love to be moved but i i don't uh okay here we go this one's called Leaving Las Vegas Okay Nick Cage Bill Butch and Bart

Swapping penis size In the front seat While Thelma, Thysel And Lulu up there Bouffant hairdos And secretly go where blue eyeshadow Has never gone before we'll leave in las vegas there you go yeah there you go says it all i think so

i like the one lady's name i've never heard that name thaisel yeah you'd have trouble with that one yeah um i would struggle with thaisel okay Okay This one's just called Las Vegas This one will wrap up This will wrap up the poetry We'll wrap up a little bit of smoking Jewel and a lot of everything Las Vegas by Jewel Women who suck

Their cigarettes As though they were giving their Hatred head Whoa I get it I mean I don't get it as though they were giving their hatred head. Whoa. I get it. I get it. I mean, I don't get it,

but I get it. But like, I get it. Yeah. Phil was actually moved by that. Yeah. Yeah. He says he doesn't get poetry,

but I would like to, I would like to enjoy it. I don't know. This is a rhythm you're supposed to read it in and so on and so forth. Yeah. Do you think she's better at poetry than john mayer is that stand-up comedy i don't know i she's i've never seen him do full-on stand-up which i think he did at one point yeah but uh i will say uh i saw him be quite humorous in a in in a comedy club yeah yeah

like be funny i shouldn't say quite. I was like, oh, that's funny. That's a funny remark. Have you seen him be funny with The Grateful Dead? No, because they don't talk. They don't, they never, they only say, we'll be back in just a little bit after our first set break. And then sometimes Bob Weir will say, see y'all later.

Thanks a lot at the end of the show. So there's not a lot of, there's not a lot of chit-chatting. Okay. Oh, I thought of a joke he did once though. There was a equipment. Bob Weir will say, see y'all later. Thanks a lot. At the end of the show. So there's not a lot of, there's not a lot of chit-chatting. Okay. Oh, I thought of a joke he did once though. There was a equipment failure. No, this is John Mayer. There's equipment failure. And they were like trying to like figure out what they were doing.

There's a, you watch like shows live on TV. Like if you can't get to Colorado to see a show. And John Mayer said, oh I Maybe I'll play Your Body Your Body is a Wonderland And the crowd Kind of chuckled That's pretty good Yeah

He's self-effacing Yeah he was being Yeah he was making fun of himself This next one comes from Anna From Denver I was recently with my family In the tourist mountain town

Of Estes Park, Colorado Where we found ourselves Walking up behind two Older couples Who were probably In their early 60s They were discussing What they were going to eat For lunch mountain town of estes park colorado where we found ourselves walking up behind two older couples who were probably in their early 60s they were discussing what they were going to eat for lunch old man one well we could go to subway and get some sandwiches to eat by the river old man two and an extremely exasperated voice how many times do i have to tell you i don't want to eat at subway but technically this guy wasn't saying that we should eat at Subway.

That's true. He was saying we should eat Subway by the river. By the river. Yeah. So he figured out a way around it. And his friend does not appreciate it. I was, we were talking about Subway today. And I was thinking about how if you, if you make a sandwich, if they make the sandwich for you, but it was your idea.

It's my idea. You have to share credit. Well, like, is it your intellectual property? Yeah. You have a little bit of, like, if you can't afford to pay for it, or you're like, well, I kind of own it already. Yeah. I'll just pay for it with royalties from that sandwich I invented. I sold half my sandwich royalties to Michael Jackson. royalties to Michael Jackson.

This last one comes from Johnny from Brighton, UK. When walking into the cinema to watch Bad Times at the El Royale, I overheard the person behind saying, Bad Times at the El Royale? I thought the film was called Good Times at the El Royale. I don't want to see this. I'm not in the mood for

a depressing film. That's pretty good. That's pretty good that was that would be a just a fun bit to do with the ticket taker yeah one for good times at el royale okay but i can i have to warn you yeah one for there will be food uh sir it's i mean what i can say is there will be some food in it. Probably more than there is blood. There's definitely a milkshake. One for bad fellas. Good fellas. They better be on their best behavior.

In addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us, the phone number is 1-844-779-7631 that's one spypaul1 like these people have hey dave and graham this is angie collin from minneapolis i was uh just in a bp oh this is an overheard you probably know that um i was just in a BP and behind a guy in line, and he asked for a box of Trojans, which I thought was a little bit of a fun overheard in itself. It's 5.30 p.m. on a Thursday night. Getting a little dizzy. But then he pays for it, and he asks the cashier,

Can I get a receipt? Here's Trojans. So I guess he's going to write that off. I'm having sex with my accountant. So this will be something they write off at the end of the year? That is really funny. Yeah. I don't think it's that weird to buy them at 530 on Thursday.

You don't have to buy them the moment. They're not and you also don't you don't want to leave it to the moment where it's like do you have one oh hold on a sec i would say yeah yeah i guess maybe i don't know it's a it's i find it's a rare purchase before dusk but i guess dusk is yeah you know 30 is you know i dus ski i've yeah never i've never worn one um i just don't like the look yeah look like something from the captain's boy i uh you put one big one over your hand and like pick up a crab uh no i never, uh, like asked for them. Like the fact that when a store started having, uh, you know, automatic checkouts where you can do your own checkout. Yeah. That, that was the greatest thing that ever happened.

I waited to have sex till they had. Yeah. Like, but I, like even at stores where they check out yourself, I never went to a store where they were behind the counter and i had to ask for them some cities are like new york to get them you have like if you don't go to a pharmacy you have to go they're definitely behind the it's like someone at like um like a little convenience store you have to you have to ask for yeah oh wow yeah i have to ask for them by name yeah by size we got a point yeah because there's like a bunch of different ones, you know. No, no. To the left. Yeah, yeah. They're, uh, don't keep going.

Are they arranged by size? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's how I picked three. Yeah. A little further. Oh, no, no, no. Oh, yeah. Sorry, sir.

I'm flattered, but no. I said Trojan Juniors. Thank you, sir. I'm going to but no I said Trojan Juniors Thank you sir I'm not being humiliated here Alright next phone call Hi Dave Graham and possible guests

This is Karis in Vancouver I was just up at the Museum of Anthropology at UBC And there were a lot of, like, tour groups there today. And so there was a group of seniors kind of sitting by the side of one of the galleries, just hanging out for a second. And their, I suppose, handler

was talking to one of them who, I guess, probably wanders off sometimes. Because she says to them, I don't care if Tom Selleck comes and offers to whisk you away to Hawaii. You don't go. All right. Thanks a bunch. If it was Tom Selleck offering to take you to Hawaii, that's magnum pia. Yeah. That's not just Tom Selleck, and you should go with it.

I think so, yeah. You're upset? Yeah. What do you drive, a Corvette? Yeah. No, a Ferrari. Oh, a Ferrari. And a helicopter. Yeah, yeah. Hung out with that fat English guy. And he's got his own kind of condom, speaking of what he has stored in the store. All the way over to the right, yeah. Hung out with that fat English guy. And he's got his own kind of condom, speaking of what he has for it in the store. All the way over to the right, please, sir.

Give me the Selleck. Yeah. The Selleck. In the Hawaiian shirt. This is a great look. I've seen, that is a good look. If you're just a rich dude in Hawaii, the hat, the stash. The stash.

The shirt. The shirt and the short shirts. Yeah. You want to pick up some shifts that Trader Joe's. Absolutely. Yeah. Absolutely. Eccentric, eccentric millionaire.

Yeah. Has a day job. That would be the ultimate. And I, and I thought, uh, that would, if you were an actor and you got a job at Trader Joe's and your character, when you were huge on TV was also a Hawaiian shirt. That could be an extra. Yeah, that'd be the best. That'd be the best if you showed up in character to your job at Trader Joe's.

That would be fantastic. And then he got a part, right? Didn't someone? Yeah. Yeah. Has that film come out yet? Yeah. Oh, really?

He played Captain Marvel. Who would give him a part again? Oh Tyler Perry Yeah Tyler Perry So that film probably hasn't come out yet Oh yeah they take a long time with those I thought he was great in Cosby's show Yeah He was good

He was fantastic He was great on a few Law and Orders too Oh was he on Law & Order? Yeah. I mean, you've been in New York long enough to be on Law & Order a few times. I've never watched the show, but yeah, there's a show that's so funny.

Have you ever seen Colin Quinn's cop show? No. It's all about, that was inspired by he's never been on a Law & Order, and he should be because Quinn's been walking the streets forever. But he did a show, and it's on about uh that was inspired by he's never been on a law and order and he should be because quinn's been walking the streets forever yeah but he did a show and it's on youtube and stuff called uh cop show it's so funny and it's like a behind the scenes cop show but they show him as a it's great gaffigan does an episode schumer does an episode it's really funny nice

yeah he's on last name basis with all these people yeah schumer colin garcia garcia although he was calling him jerry and then he was calling him garcia i don't know you make up your mind you gotta work on that uh what was the last name you couldn't deal with oh tench tench yeah we're barely acquaintances this is your final phone call hey Hey, Dave Graham and guest. My name is Jerome calling in from Victoria. Calling in with a over red. I was at Whole Foods. And there was a magazine, like Vegan Monthly,

or some vegan magazine. And one of the little titles off to the side to try to catch your attention was, are avocados really vegan? The fat vegan settles the debate. We brought in the fat vegan. Who's the fat vegan?

It's like the fat Jewish. Oh, steals all the other vegan recipes. How would avocados not be vegan uh i don't know if they're like pollinated by bees or something like that wow like there's like there's like a level of veganism that doesn't do anything that it has bees at all wow because that's why they're getting rid of all the bees yeah yeah yeah so we could start fresh. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, there's like.

Don't bees enjoy pollinating things? It's their favorite thing. I would think so. Besides having sex with birds. Yeah. I think they do it quite accidentally. Oh, they do it accidentally. Yeah. They just carry all this pollen on their legs.

Oh, right. And it just, you know, they're trying to bring it all back to the coop. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then like trying to have sex with the flower, I think is the thing, you know, they're trying to bring it all back to the coop. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're, like, trying to have sex with the flower, I think, is the thing. Is that what they're doing? I think so.

I think they're trying to do it with the flower. Really? And the flower's trying to do it with them. Yeah, the flower's got a sticky-outy thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're definitely, like, they're definitely playing a game with each other. Yeah, they're figuring it out. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Wow, I had no idea. But it should be the bees and the flowers, not the birds and the bees. So it's pleasurable for what they do. I think for the bees, I don't know if flowers feel pleasure or not. To be discussed in a further in a later episode. Please, have me back.

And if anyone listening knows if bees are feeling sexual pleasure by going around from flower to flower, don't correct at stop podcasting just at Graham Clark and I'll just retweet it back to the at stop podcast retweet it to the captain's boil

if you're going to correct me please in pirate tone please correct us in pirate tone matey Phil thank you so much for being a guest Please, in pirate tone. Yeah, please correct us in pirate tone. Métis. Métis. Phil, thank you so much for being a guest. So fun. Thank you for having me.

You will be playing at Punchlines in San Francisco, June... 3rd to the 8th. 3rd to the 8th? Yeah. And each, every two months, you do a fundraising show. Every other month, I do a show at the Village Underground, which is in New York, part of the Comedy Cellar. You can get tickets on the Comedy Cellar website. And it's the charity's Operation Smile.

And the show, we don't announce the people generally, but the lineups have just been insane. Nice. So good. Who's going to do the April one? Because the listeners will have just missed it. Oh, really? Well, you know what? And, uh, who's going to do the April one. Cause you, the listeners will have just missed it. Oh really? I will. I,

you know what? I will say the people that have done it in, in the past have been, uh, Amy Schumer's done it. Jim Gaffigan's done it. Oh, it sounds like they're available for Colin Quinn.

They're available. Colin Quinn has done it. Um, so the lineups are amazing. Tickets are $20 to perform an operation. A kid has a cleft palate. They're in some cultures like forced out of their village and their family's forced out. They're considered to be cursed.

And you can solve this problem for a hundred, no, $240. $240. That's like, uh, like 12 tickets. Yeah. Can change someone's life. Can change someone's life. 100% change their life. And, uh, often the charity, someone does an anonymous donor that doubles, uh, what we

donate. So then that's only six tickets. Six people come to a great comedy show. And then these people's lives are like 100% better. That's amazing. Yeah. So we do that every other month. So please, if you're in New York, please come to one of those shows.

They're great shows. And you can find out about those shows if you follow them on Instagram. Yes. I advertise them. Phil M. Hanley on Instagram Please follow me Boy, these are some great plugs Thanks so much for being our guest

Thank you so much, yeah, I can't wait to do it again Do we have anything we need to plug? I mean, if you got some extra scratch Why not donate to Operation Smile? Yeah, yeah If you have extra, extra scratch, our mailing address is on the website,

maximumfun.org. And thanks so much for listening. If you like the show, please tell your friends and come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. MaximumFun.org

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