Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 608 - Nick Nemeroff

Episode Date: November 11, 2019

Comedian Nick Nemeroff joins us to talk open mics, the circus, and the environment....

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 608 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clarka. With me as always is a man who, uh, it's nice to see this early in the day. Mr. Dave Shovka. Uh, yeah, we don't usually do such an early recording. I had to do some rescheduling, so everyone had to do some rescheduling. And everyone was very kind to accommodate a 9 a.m. Wednesday morning record.
Starting point is 00:00:48 It's a real breakfast show vibe. It is, yeah. We're going to have somebody from Milestones Kitchen. That's going to show us how to make their famous coconut cake. Yep. And then we've got somebody from the Busker Festival. Oh, and someone's coming here to do a preview of the fall TV season. That really is a guy on the morning news doing.
Starting point is 00:01:11 Okay, well, I watched the morning news today because I had half an hour before you guys showed up. I'm usually out the door by then. It was a guy giving previews of what's going to be on Apple TV. Oh, yeah. Their new shows on their new service. Everything good? The same stuff you've... The Steve Jobs project?
Starting point is 00:01:32 Yes. No, the morning show. Okay. Do you know that? No. Oh, they were eating it up on the morning. Oh, yes, of course. And the Jason Momoa thing.
Starting point is 00:01:43 Oh, yeah. Him just handsoming around. yeah him in like the future oh we've seen him in the past yeah game of thrones yeah we've seen him underwater is there are there any movies where he's a regular guy where he's just like a an office drone yeah not yet no but you know there's gonna be a movie where he plays his own twin. And then there was someone, the 10th anniversary of the Olympics is going to be in five months. So why not talk about that a little? Yeah. Our guest today, a very funny comedian, will be recording His first album In Toronto
Starting point is 00:02:25 At the Ossington December 9th and 10th It's Nick Nemeroff Hi guys Thank you for having me Thank you for coming Bringing that Early morning energy
Starting point is 00:02:34 I love it Just Really regret getting An herbal tea Instead of a coffee Right now I can go make you a coffee No that's okay
Starting point is 00:02:41 You've been so nice And accommodating so far How so? I've given you water And I said Get downstairs We're recording Yeah well that's The nicest You've been so nice and accommodating so far. How so? I've given you water and I said get downstairs. We're recording. Yeah, well, that's the nicest thing anyone's done for me. Just give me a glass of water.
Starting point is 00:02:51 Okay. I mean, I guess. Sure. You lived a very parched life. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Well, you grew up in Flint, Michigan. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:03:00 Do you want to get to know us? Sure. Get to know us. Nick, this is your first time on the podcast. First time on the pod. So we got to learn all about you. You're originally from Toronto, now living in Los Angeles. Yeah, originally from Montreal.
Starting point is 00:03:17 Oh, originally from Montreal. And lived in Toronto for nine years and then moved to LA. Okay. Did you start comedy in Montreal? I did my first ever set there, but then I was already living in Toronto at that point. Right. So I would say I started in Toronto. Graham's got a lot of questions about your career.
Starting point is 00:03:36 I want to tell you, your hair is so dark. Oh, thank you very much. Yeah, it is. Yeah. I used to maintain that my hair was brown for some reason, and now I've just given in to it being black. My kids tell me my hair is black. Oh, yeah. No, it's not. They're wrong.
Starting point is 00:03:50 Because they have very light brown hair. Yeah. And they say it's brown. And they've seen like very blonde hair. So on the spectrum, they think this is black. They haven't been exposed to a lot of brunettes yet. No, and we've shielded them from Nick. Right, exactly.
Starting point is 00:04:06 I did have to wear that cap when I walked in. Yeah, yeah. So, has it always been that dark? My hair? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Were you a blonde baby? Yeah, I think it was slightly less dark when I was a little baby. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:20 And, you know, just as I matured and, and you know got withered away by the world and uh grew in more black i guess it's very representative very metaphorical my hair yeah yeah i like uh i like it when uh a part of your body can be an extension of the withering away of time right exactly um are you going gray at all? Probably, but it's... You have very light hair. Yeah, light hair. It's more the hairline is receding than going gray. No.
Starting point is 00:04:53 I would be all for just going completely... Although... Completely bald or gray? Completely gray. Right. Yeah. Over going completely bald. Although, I could get into the like
Starting point is 00:05:05 the horseshoe i think you'd be in and i think you'd have a good uh bald head a good shaved head because you look good in hats yeah yeah that's true that's a good indicator of head shape yeah yeah yeah yeah uh some people look hilarious in hats right and then if they go bald what do they do? It's true. I wonder if a bunch of cowboys were just actually trying to hide their bald spot. Dwight Yoakam. Right.
Starting point is 00:05:30 Yeah. Definitely. Worked for Garth Brooks as well. Oh, is he? Yeah. He had the real like peninsula. Do you like country music, Nick? I actually love it.
Starting point is 00:05:42 Do you really? No, I don't really know much about it. No, me neither no i know the name dwight yokum but that was my only i hardly know him right um so uh but yeah i guess i'm not a country music i know like the big the ones that are on the mural so outside the country your Dolly Parton, Kenny Rogers. Merritt has the music festival,
Starting point is 00:06:09 the country music festival. And country music walk of fame. Yeah, and they have murals there. Yeah. I saw like an Alan Jackson there. Oh, nice. Good mustache.
Starting point is 00:06:19 So you, why did you move from Montreal to Toronto? To do stand-up? No, I moved there to go to school, to go to Ryerson University. Huge shout-out to Ryerson.
Starting point is 00:06:29 Yeah. Go Ryerson. Radio and television program. Podcasting right now feels exactly like what I was meant to do. Yeah. Well, I think we get a lot of alumni from them. Yeah. I mean, we get the newsletters.
Starting point is 00:06:41 They like pitch us guests. Oh, yeah. You got to get. I'm trying to think of other people I went to school with. I don't want to name right now. Yeah, I went there for school and then like saw a bunch of amazing comedy there, including Laugh Sabbath. And blew my mind. And I was like, holy shit.
Starting point is 00:07:02 Yeah. I just wanted to do it. And I wanted to do it and I wanted to do it for forever but that was like a good indicator of like, oh,
Starting point is 00:07:07 you can do really, really funny stuff, yeah. Was it one of those things where you were like, you wanted to do it forever but you were like,
Starting point is 00:07:14 there's no way, there's no way that I, Nick Nemeroff, could ever be doing stand-up comedy? I think it was like, I just somehow was like I will do it
Starting point is 00:07:26 at some point and then I just kept putting it off and then was went to go watch a lot of open mics before I ever did it
Starting point is 00:07:33 and then I was like you know I feel like these guys can do it yeah I feel like that's the kind of like that yeah
Starting point is 00:07:39 have you seen Joker I have seen Joker I loved it you loved it I loved it I'm embarrassed by Joker. I loved it. You loved it? I loved it. I'm embarrassed by how much I liked it. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:07:48 Yeah. I saw it now. Now we have quorum. We've never had an episode where we've all seen Joker. Oh, I see. I see. What was your guys' take? I thought Joaquin was very good.
Starting point is 00:08:00 He's so good at acting. Unbelievable. Why did he get in that fridge? That part was, and I thought once you get in that fridge that part was and i thought once you get into a fridge i thought you couldn't get out like an old-timey fridge like that for sure yeah i feel like he was like okay just keep it rolling i'm gonna do something here real silly yeah and then we'll have to like i don't know it'll be a metaphor for madness i don't know i i did look at my fridge when I got home after watching that movie.
Starting point is 00:08:28 And you considered it? Well, I was just wondering, could I? Right. If I wanted to. And I think my fridge is too small. I think it's too narrow. He, I think, yeah, I guess he was very like. He lost a lot of weight to get into that fridge and that role.
Starting point is 00:08:40 Yeah. To get into that fridge. That was Todd Phillips' whole treatment for the movie is Joker goes into the fridge. So we need to build a movie around that. This will anchor the scene. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:56 Anchor the movie. Yeah, exactly. We were talking about last week on the show that that flight of stairs has now become like. A tourist hotspot. Everybody's doing the same dumb poses on it.
Starting point is 00:09:09 Yeah. But yet I have not seen a photo of anybody like that I know doing the Joker stairs yet. Yeah. I went to New York last week, but I didn't know. Or two weeks ago. I didn't know. Yeah. You could have.
Starting point is 00:09:26 Would have been. Well, it would have been great yeah yeah i hadn't seen the movie at that point yeah you just knew about the fridge scene so yeah yeah i went into a bunch of pictures of fridge i did a fridge tour of new york of 80s new york you know what's cool about the j Joker is that they filmed most of that movie in New York City. And they just dressed it up to look like Gotham for budget and stuff. And I will say that is a joke that I tweeted. But I just had no opportunity. I had to say it. It's great.
Starting point is 00:09:58 It's a great joke. I'm going to say a joke that I tweeted. Please do. Which is that the truest part of that movie is that he called himself a comedian after just one mic, one open mic and a handful of murders.
Starting point is 00:10:15 Did you find... But here's what I didn't like about it. What? In the 80s, shows weren't like Tosh.O-ing showing clips.
Starting point is 00:10:30 That, a few friends who I have said that I love the Joker to bring that up too. And it is like, yeah, it's hard to argue that point. There's a few trigger media moments that I'm like, no one talks like that. Yeah. Right. And that's true because they would have, whoever would have been at the club would have had to have a gigantic camera. Right. Filming the show. So you would have known that you would have been taped.
Starting point is 00:10:49 Well, there was a camera. The first shot in the club, you see the like closed circuit television. Right. But there is also when like, can we say stuff that happens in the movie? Everyone fast forward. Honestly, 45 minutes. Yeah. We will be dissecting
Starting point is 00:11:05 frame by frame the Joker right now but when you know they film him at the club and they show it on Robert De Niro I forget his name
Starting point is 00:11:14 in the Murray something yeah on the Murray Franklin show yeah and then the joke that the Joker says you know
Starting point is 00:11:21 in a stand up thing he's like you know they all said or they all laughed at me well nobody's laughing now which is like a joke for sure yeah and then like it cuts back to murray franklin he's like they sure ain't it's just like like he doesn't even let him give him the opportunity that he's making a joke yeah like he that's right it's like it cuts before he possibly
Starting point is 00:11:43 could have had any laughs the first part the very first shot he's putting on makeup and by the way you know he's crazy because he eats it uh um he's putting on makeup and you hear uh just a news report about the garbage strike and the news and the reporter is saying and even nice parts of the city are turning into slums. You would never say, a news person would never say, this is a nice part of town and this is a bad part. I'm doing my... Reporting from the nice neighborhood. And then they went to get some man on the street reactions
Starting point is 00:12:24 and there's like 20 of them. You need three. Yeah. But this was the 80s. There was a lot more time to fill on TV. There was only one choice of news. Right. It's weird how, and I don't know if you agree with this or not, that the depictions of stand-up in movies always is feels
Starting point is 00:12:47 wrong yeah like i for for one reason or another it just like i've never seen it where i'm like that's what it seems like or that's that's what it's like to watch a show or to be on stage or whatever did you think that was close in this movie uh i mean no i think i was i maybe separated the stand-up part from the movie and just like as a movie itself i just thought it was so i don't know i was like paying attention and riveted the whole time basically but uh i don't think yeah the stand-up didn't really feel like it was you know exactly how it feels to do stand-up didn't really feel like it was, you know, exactly how it feels to do stand-up, basically. Although, seeing a weird open mic, that resonated with me. I've seen enough of those.
Starting point is 00:13:31 Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, you know, like, I wouldn't ever be surprised if somebody showed up at an open mic done up in clown makeup. That would be fine, and I would try to not make a big deal out of it. I'd be like, let's just let this guy do his... I would probably be looking forward to the set. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:54 Can you recall the craziest thing that you've seen at an open mic? Or at least something in that realm? Or at least something in that realm. I remember there was a very funny comedian in Toronto who she doesn't really do it much anymore. But she, when I hosted an open mic at the Ossington at like, you know, one of the late night 10 p.m. start open mics. And then she went up on stage and I think she was in like like a cloak or something like that and she took it off and she was wearing a bathing suit underneath and then she put the microphone up to her uh vagina and i'm pretty sure maybe my memory is a bit off here but i'm pretty sure she was like i think the term is queefing into the microphone as the bit.
Starting point is 00:14:50 That is certainly exactly what I was looking for. Yeah. I really remember that. But someone who normally had, she like, you know, would do not that many times. But normal.
Starting point is 00:15:04 Yeah. Good sets. Yeah. And like, you know, not that many times but normal yeah like good sets yeah and like you know definitely always like a bit odd or strange sets but always funny
Starting point is 00:15:12 and then that was like you know I was just like this is funny I guess yeah you're like I am laughing
Starting point is 00:15:17 yeah do you have seven minutes of it yeah that's a thing are you kidding me I'm recording a whole album with it do you have seven minutes of it yeah that's a thing are you kidding me i'm recording a whole album um do you remember anything like um no i mean like there are always like people who have you can tell i mean there's like just so many like uh hateful people who yeah think that
Starting point is 00:15:41 this is an outlet and then there's people who who you can tell have built something up in their mind that this is, they've written the set and they're sticking to the script 100%. Yeah. And they've never, but they don't realize that you just have to do stand up over and over and over and over. Right. So they think like they've got it down. This is their one shot and it doesn't go well and and that's it and that's it yeah i've definitely seen a lot of that i definitely i remember there was one time you you were hosting a show and uh someone went on and
Starting point is 00:16:17 did and it was like a someone who's not you know from the scene an outsider who came in and did very poorly and you just moved right like you didn't even mention it and I was like oh you didn't like there was you know or not ripped into him but there was stuff to bond with the audience over
Starting point is 00:16:40 that wasn't like mean and you were like he smelled very bad something was wrong with him yeah yeah yeah like sometimes it's like it's like uh somebody who's like i really i dared myself to do stan and then it's fine to but if it's just somebody that you're like oh this is not this is the the no part of this is good. Yeah. Yeah. There was once, uh, a guy,
Starting point is 00:17:07 um, who used to come to the show all the time, uh, Ryan LaChanze. And he would have like, um, always, he had like an assistant because he's, uh,
Starting point is 00:17:17 in a wheelchair. And so he'd always have somebody with him. And one time, this is like years and years ago, one of his assistants got in in his head that he was gonna do stand up oh my god but he like baked up a whole character like he came on stage he was this during ryan's set or no no no this was like he asked he was like could i do stand up i was like sure like you've been here every week for two years uh but it was weird he had seen so much stand-up and yet his takeaway was i'll create
Starting point is 00:17:47 this completely like a character that's like a guy from the woods and and you're like that's my thing but he uh oh he bombed he bombed so bad i don't think i Did he come back or no? No, he didn't come back. Yeah. That hurts. Yeah. Ryan LaChance, however, very funny. Yeah. Very funny. Maybe, yeah, he came back. He came back, but.
Starting point is 00:18:14 I wonder if Ryan said to his assistant, you can't come back anymore. You're done. Yeah. That was your one chance. Yeah. I, but I think still to this day, you could go to any open mic and see something spectacularly weird totally yeah and for cheap usually for zero yeah yeah yeah any open mics they're the ones that i've been to yeah it's funny though it's now i sometimes see like open
Starting point is 00:18:40 mics and like indie comedy shows for ten dollars. But I think for maybe 30 years, it was $5. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm trying to stay at $5. Yeah. It's,
Starting point is 00:18:52 uh, but like any given night of the week in most cities, there's going to be some, either it's going to be a comedy open mic, or it's just going to be a general open mic where it's like one guy's going to get up there and sing a folk song that he wrote yeah right maybe uh maybe some poems uh-huh beatbox oh yeah i would like to see open mic beatboxing that yeah would be truly bad i'm actually not that bad. I've been practicing pretty hard.
Starting point is 00:19:29 Remix. Waka waka. That would be the best. The guy goes up and just with no anything. Here we go. Oh, boy. So you were in Toronto for seven years? Nine years.
Starting point is 00:19:48 Nine? Yeah. I mean, yeah, I think seven years doing comedy, but yeah, nine years total living there. And then down to LA. Yeah. And then you saw The Joker. Let's talk more about that. And you've been on Conan?
Starting point is 00:20:02 Yeah. Which, that must have been amazing. Yeah. Truly the coolest thing. Possibly that will ever happen to me. No, no, there's much, there's cooler things on the horizon. I mean, what would be cooler? That's truly, yeah. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:20:17 Partying on some kind of, like, an Elon Musk's yacht or something. Yeah, right. That would be pretty cool. Being locked in a room in Elon Musk's house or something. Yeah, right. That would be pretty cool. Being locked in a room in Elon Musk's house while he and Grimes are fighting. Just getting to be a fly on the wall for their arguments. Yeah, that's the dream. That's the dream of being invited to Elon Musk's house and then just like getting to see the weirdness. Because he doesn't seem like a guy who would would put on airs he's he's weird
Starting point is 00:20:45 all the time yeah he's got those do you feel like elon musk wants to be funny yes like his tweets are wild he's like yeah he's he wants to be memes he wants to be memes yeah yeah he, in the Tesla, there's like, have you been in one? I have been in one, yeah. We do not have quorum. We do not? No, that's right. Only one of us has not been in Tesla. And it shows.
Starting point is 00:21:18 It shows. I got a vibe as soon as I met you. I've been on the roof of one while I was speeding down the highway. But there's a function where you can make any seat in the Tesla like a whoopee cushion seat. Oh, so as soon as you sit down, it makes a fart noise. And so that's the work of a man who's like... I'm weird. I'm weird. I'm weird.
Starting point is 00:21:45 I'm a little bit crazy. Worth $5 trillion. Like, yeah, you couldn't have any kind of conversation with. Like, what would you talk about? What would I talk about with Elon Musk? Say you were just like, you both showed up at the same appointment and you're both in the waiting room for a couple minutes. Oh, hey, Elon, I hear you.
Starting point is 00:22:11 Didn't you go to like Queens or something? Didn't you go to school in Canada? Oh, yeah, maybe. What was that like? There you go. Hey, I didn't get in there. Yeah, that's not bad he went to Ryerson
Starting point is 00:22:26 radio and television yeah he's an alum as well oh he is oh we should get him on yeah exactly you guys gotta interview Elon
Starting point is 00:22:32 um and I I don't really know anything about him like I know the Grimes thing I know that he invented
Starting point is 00:22:41 PayPal is that yep yeah oh he has five sons each name Elon Elon Jr. like George Foreman yep invented PayPal? Yep. Yeah. He has five sons. Each name,
Starting point is 00:22:47 Elon. Elon Jr. Like George Foreman. Yeah. He invented that famous grill. I bet he could do a better grill. Do you think
Starting point is 00:22:55 he could improve on that? You gotta imagine. Yeah. Put it on funny mode and it makes your sandwich work. You want a queef sandwich? I'm not the one
Starting point is 00:23:03 who brought that word up. So I... It's not just in the... It up. So it's not just in the ether. It's in the ether. Absolutely. Yeah. It would just be a George Foreman grill with like cool blue lights on it. Yeah. And it makes this sound.
Starting point is 00:23:21 I watched a documentary about Muhammad Ali and, you know, and he fought George Foreman very famously. And I was like, there's a whole generation of people who only know George Foreman as George Foreman Grill. And a guy who named all of his kids George. True. He has like, yeah, three separate legacies. Yeah. Naming, grilling, boxing. Yeah. Yeah. Well, people know muhammad ali as boxer yeah poet father of the uh box of layla ali layla ali who was on the masked singer was she yeah so was paul schaefer oh really
Starting point is 00:24:00 yeah i feel like uh that's a good one. Yeah. Like he, when he pulled off, it was funny cause his character that he was playing was like a skeleton guy. So it was also a bald guy. So when he pulled it off, it was like, Oh, are they supposed to match the celebrities a little bit? Or like,
Starting point is 00:24:17 is it supposed to be, do you watch it? No. Okay. I follow Paul Schaefer on Twitter. Oh, okay. And he was like,
Starting point is 00:24:23 guess what? Everybody. And then showed the video of him. As the skeleton man. Yeah. Damn. Did you move from Toronto to LA because you consider yourself a Kawhi Leonard type? I was trying to just follow his path, yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:36 Sure. And I was like, wherever he goes, I will go. That's smart. Yeah. Yeah. He seems to be successful. Yeah. And I'm just trying to get in his like you know
Starting point is 00:24:45 group of close friends you show up at the same clubs yeah yeah that's smart just go to watch every Clippers game
Starting point is 00:24:53 pretend that I'm there with him do a lot of like selfies where yeah it's about a 300 row difference yeah
Starting point is 00:25:01 I don't know how many rows there are in an arena. Nope, me neither. But I'd guess under 100. That's probably true. Those rings that they presented, oh boy, so huge. Yeah. I think that's the hugest ring I've ever seen for a sport.
Starting point is 00:25:22 Like the Raptors specific one? The Raptors, yeah. I guess so. I saw them when they came out and now I don't really remember. They're big. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:30 I feel like once you win that though, you really want to, you know, show it off. Yeah. But like, it wasn't... It's not practical. It's not practical,
Starting point is 00:25:39 but like... On what occasions do you wear it? Ever? Never. No, like you just put it in a trophy case. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:46 On a giant finger, on a big foam finger. Yeah, on one of those number one fingers. I think you do it if you're like, if you ever win a second championship, you break out the first one. Oh. But then, like, if it's that big, it's hard to put more than one ring on your hand. Yeah. True. If you get four, then you kind of do a Thanos.
Starting point is 00:26:04 Mm-hmm. And then I think Tom Brady has like A famous picture of him with All five Maybe six now One on his wiener Yeah
Starting point is 00:26:14 It's vibrating Henri Richard The brother of Pocket Rocket Yeah Brother of Rocket Richard The Pocket Rocket He won 11
Starting point is 00:26:23 Stanley Cup So he's got a lot. So he could put one on his pocket rocket. Yeah. Damn. That's a, that'd be fun. That'd be a fun,
Starting point is 00:26:31 uh, Tinder profile. Marital aid. Um, but you know how like, uh, people who will get, uh,
Starting point is 00:26:42 the order of Canada or something, they'll wear their pin on like when they're on a TV panel or something to let you know. Yeah, like, I feel like Peter Mansbridge was on an election night thing and he had it on. And I was like, we know. We know who you are. We know you're famous. Yeah. We owe you a great gratitude, Peter Mansbridge, for being our most famous Canadian bald guy before Kevin O'Leary.
Starting point is 00:27:06 That's true. And he carried that legacy through the ages. Yeah, he carried it over his Mansbridge. So you're living in L.A. Do you like it? Is it all right? I like it sometimes. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:23 Other times it's, you know just a slog yeah but uh yeah it's cool yeah are you touring a lot are you mostly based out of la uh mostly based out of there and then trying like you go to conan every day and ask if you can do it again yeah i'm friends with kawaii now so if he has any spots for me or Kawhi or for my friend Elon to do stand-up I don't know where Elon Musk lives
Starting point is 00:27:50 oh yeah I assumed California I guess because I think isn't Tesla based out there yeah
Starting point is 00:27:55 northern or couldn't tell you yeah one of the directions for sure yeah definitely I forget where what I was talking
Starting point is 00:28:04 about before you were just talking about you were listing all your famous friends yeah oh yeah sorry and you know Tim Allen
Starting point is 00:28:10 oh hey yeah but yeah LA is fun but hard are you should be easy to be a famous comedian
Starting point is 00:28:20 that's what I think yeah I agree it is yeah yeah yeah I mean it is easy to be one right easy to become one no that's what i think no i see yeah yeah once you're there oh boy so nice although you know with these pc crowds i don't know i don't know i couldn't do it anymore yeah because everyone's too woke yeah yeah exactly exactly. I'm going to return my $100 million bonus to Netflix.
Starting point is 00:28:47 I'm not going to record any more specials. I'm just going to make the Joker now. I mean, whoever records the first stand-up special wearing clown makeup, it's going to be earth-shattering. That's going to be cool. Yeah. Sinbad could do it. I'd love to see a Sinbad
Starting point is 00:29:06 come back. Yeah. Sinbad is so funny. Watching him live is actually amazing. I saw him in Montreal and like he was on a show where he wasn't part of the lineup. He just stopped by to do a set
Starting point is 00:29:22 and when they said his name people went bananas like it was just like it was like if you announce like and now the hamburglar like like you're like oh my god he's here finally does he have a last name uh like like when they're like uh you know legally legally a meatloaf a day I don't know but I remember him coming out
Starting point is 00:29:51 and he just like destroyed oh yeah and it was all just stuff about Montreal like he just had like here are my seven observances
Starting point is 00:30:00 of your city Nick would have loved it he's from there exactly I went to when I was like 12 to a Just for Laughs gala that Sinbad was on. I think, yeah, he was like, you know, supposed to be on or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:14 And then he like talked to the crowd and he's like, we got some teenagers here. We got a teenager. How old are you? And like pointed at me and I was like, 12. And then he, we had like a, we had a back and forth he just like you know did whatever joke he was going to do anyways but it was uh a powerful moment in my life like yeah blowing my mind and then it was on tv and I was like holy shit whoa yeah you're like an early you're that kid that I saw on tv that was you yeah i have a poster of that tv on my wall um did you ever
Starting point is 00:30:49 see comedy as a kid or interact with a comedian i saw a performer who thought it was cute that a kid was there i like i had a fake id and i went to yuck yucks when I was 16, 15. And the comedian, the headliner was a guy named Derek Edwards. Oh, yeah. And he's so funny. And he did a whole chunk about the Calgary Tower and how short it is. And I thought that was so crazy. I was like, that's so crazy that this comedian wrote jokes about the Calgary Tower
Starting point is 00:31:26 like it's just I couldn't it just blew my mind right out of all the things for someone to talk about like like that he would
Starting point is 00:31:34 take time to like write a local joke yeah yeah and uh man oh man did it destroy
Starting point is 00:31:40 but uh yeah like as a kid as a kid kid I don't think I ever saw i went to uh no wait i saw what's her name she always wears like fancy cocktail dresses day medina not david i was gonna say i'll remember it she was like very like mrs mazel no not mrs mazel she exists um uh i went to penn and teller when i was about 13 or 14 and they brought kids on stage to like throw darts oh really no throw like yeah basically at a dartboard but they were just fuzzy balls velcro balls were you one of the good yeah
Starting point is 00:32:21 nice and i was uh quite a russian that's why i'm so into magic now yeah right and like he was uh which one pen is the really tall yeah like he must have been huge i don't know it was such a blur he was trying to tell me that god doesn't exist he's like don't recycle it's bullshit yeah is he recycling he did they did a show maybe was it just him or both of them uh okay bullshit i don't know that might just be him uh no this was like this was maybe like the early 2000s and it was like debunking uh you know famous kind of things that everybody holds to be true and And one of them was that recycling
Starting point is 00:33:07 like they were like, most of your recycling ends up being shipped to some country and then is put in a landfill. Oh, shit. I lost my answer on that. Yeah, I think we all are. Oh, there we go. Okay. I hear it now. Yeah, there's a, well, didn't they just do a study that like two thirds of plastic recycling just goes to the landfills? Yeah, yeah. Like he was right. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:33 Yeah. But I was like, don't tell people. Not to recycle. Not to recycle. Like I feel like. Don't tell the companies to do their job. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like don't.
Starting point is 00:33:41 Exactly. We need to get Penn in there to talk to the CEOs of recycling. The CEOs and show them how to do it. It's like a little ponytail. I'm still trying to. Gilda. No, not Gilda Radner. That wasn't Gilda Radner.
Starting point is 00:33:56 Oh. Yeah. What do you mean? Yeah. Just like very funny kind of comedian from the 80s. I saw her. Like, my family was on a vacation somewhere. No, I don't know who you mean. I will remember her name by the end of the show.
Starting point is 00:34:15 But anyways, she was doing a show, and we could see it from our hotel room. Like, we didn't buy tickets, but we just went out on the balcony and watched her. I thought she was so funny. What do you think will be the first thing that comes up when I Google 80s female comedian? Oh, I don't know, but I remember her name now. Okay. Rita Rudner. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:35 She's the best comedian in Vegas. Yeah. Yeah. And she had, like, she had at the end of her show, she did, like, just, does anybody have any questions? And it was during when the O.J. Simpson trial was on. Oh, shit. And there was a part in the trial where an envelope had been delivered to the judge. And everybody was wondering, what's in the envelope?
Starting point is 00:34:57 What's the evidence in the envelope? And somebody asked her, what do you think's in the envelope? And she said, a pair of Streisand tickets. And everybody lost their mind. It's pretty quick. Yeah. Well, I don't know if I like this. The first link that comes up is Ranker.
Starting point is 00:35:15 Oh, yeah. Ranker's all over those algorithms. Yeah. But anyway, according to Ranker, the best female stand-up comedian of the 80s is Gilda Radner. Don't know her as a stand-up. No. So, way to go ranker yeah rita rudner is who you're thinking of ranker yeah yeah ranker ranks rudner after radner thank you i had a similar i just want to share this joke i had before
Starting point is 00:35:41 before you got here, Nick, uh, uh, we were looking at the clock. It was nine o'clock and, you weren't here yet. And I said, uh, Nick Nemeroff, you don't want to tick Graham off.
Starting point is 00:35:53 Yeah. Oh, shit. That's pretty good. Damn. That's a, that's a great, uh,
Starting point is 00:35:57 great headline. So anyway, you can use that. Yeah, that's good. Maybe I will. Yeah. Piss off Graham just so I can,
Starting point is 00:36:02 you know, use that later. You can sit on anyone. It doesn't have to be Graham. Yeah. Yeah. That's true. That's fair. off graham just so i can you know use that later you can sit on anyone it doesn't have to be graham yeah yeah that's true that's fair um you just need that double syllable that's all um are you uh uh i asked before and then we got sidetracked are you traveling around doing stand-up in the states or uh yeah a little bit yeah more than in the past for sure and was in denver for a week in portland for a week what's denver like denver is awesome yeah it's like yeah
Starting point is 00:36:32 so uh you know chill there like that classic weed stuff oh yeah yeah i guess it is like a weed were they the first as far far as I know, yeah. At least in the States, probably. But yeah, that's like a huge part of their cultural identity is like they smoke weed a lot. And like, wasn't like Hunter S. Thompson lived there or lived just outside of there or something like that? Possibly. Yeah. I think Ted Bundy.
Starting point is 00:37:03 Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Another great clown aficionado. Was he the clown guy? I think that's John Wayne Gacy. Oh, John Wayne Gacy. That's right. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:16 God, that's so scary. Mm-hmm. Clowns are just scary now, right? Yeah. Hard to think of a pleasant-looking clown that isn't a little bit creepy. There must have been a time like where it turned. But I think people were I think grown ups were like yeah clowns
Starting point is 00:37:34 are funny and kids were always like no no no. Yeah. But it's amazing that McDonald's stuck with like the clown through all of the highs and lows of, mostly lows of clowndom.
Starting point is 00:37:50 Is he still going? I think so. Like I feel like Ron? Ronnie? I was hanging out with Ron McDonald. One time I was at a, just like at the airport and they were paging somebody over the thing and they go Ronald McDonald please come to the front and I was like 12 years old
Starting point is 00:38:12 with a friend and we were just laughing so hard imagining you just you just seen Sinbad it was a very comedic time of your life yeah but like i don't know like when ronald mcdonald was first on the scene was that were clowns was that good yeah like where kids like yay yay yay a clown yay a grimace no one ever like there was never any test marketing for kids until about 10 years ago
Starting point is 00:38:49 yeah that's true you just served up whatever but like always I like even as a kid
Starting point is 00:38:57 I found clowns very unsettling like without anybody like having to give you a reason yeah yeah
Starting point is 00:39:04 like I hadn't seen was it the first acknowledgement of it oh that's or was John Wayne Gacy like I feel like
Starting point is 00:39:13 it all kind of came it was like both in the 80s yeah it was like the 80s decided yeah cause still
Starting point is 00:39:20 in the 70s he had like Bozo the Clown stuff like that. Yeah, there's people, like older people, who are like talking about their favorite childhood TV clowns. I think in the 80s, no one bothered putting clowns on TV anymore. No.
Starting point is 00:39:34 There was, in Canada, there was a French hobo clown that was on like public access. And I remember it scared the shit out of me you remember his name or her name yeah he what was his name i can't remember his name but uh but he uh as a kid i had we like i was in alberta so nobody spoke french so it was just this guy speaking a language i couldn't understand. Oh, I think I... Yeah, that rings a bell.
Starting point is 00:40:08 Yeah. And he would talk very slow, I think, so kids could pick up what he was saying. But it just had the effect of, why is this guy slow and speaking a language? Hurry up. Go away. Yeah. And he had the painted on beard, and I found that very disconcerting. Yeah. And he had the painted on beard and I found that very disconcerting. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:27 I mean, it would have been worse if he had a not painted on beard and then paint over top of it. Oh, yeah. Whoa. Dave, what's going on? Oh, boy. Well, speaking of clowns, a few weeks ago, I took my wife and my daughter to Cirque du Soleil. Ever been? Fancy clowns.
Starting point is 00:40:48 French clowns. I have, I think. Yeah, when I was like with my parents, I think in maybe Vegas. Oh, yeah. And they were like, how old are you? And you're like, douze. Yeah. C'est douze ans.
Starting point is 00:41:04 What was the theme? The theme of it was mexico okay all right and it was put on by tourism mexico it was uh luzia luzia is the nonsense word they came up this with this time um so we went and we went to a matinee like four o'clock or something. And Margo was very excited about it. That's my daughter. And that was like the whole point was like, maybe she's old enough to go to this thing that'll cost hundreds of dollars. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Although it is one of the few like entertainment things where they'll sell a seat to a kid for cheaper.
Starting point is 00:41:44 Oh, that's actually very nice because they are i'm sure also a lot a lot of kids must be there yeah yeah um and they've got like a big one thing about going to shows or movies or things is like gotta kind of hunt down where they have the booster seats right so they were like they had a huge pile of them on display. Somebody juggling them. Yeah. Yeah. So we went and it was like, it was great. Everyone was like, there's like, you know, 50 people on stage at the end waving and they all did something. And like the, whoever, like the strong man earlier had been just like an extra in a different scene. And so like they really use all the people.
Starting point is 00:42:30 Yeah. You'd have to. Yeah. Yeah. But it does seem like, oh, there's a lot of people on stage. Most of them aren't doing anything. Right. But they must have a role later.
Starting point is 00:42:39 Some of them are like payroll. Yeah. Yeah. They've got HRs out there. payroll yeah yeah there's got hrs out there um so yeah we went and uh there were two guys behind me that were like bonding over it but they didn't come together oh there was like a 60 year old guy and his wife and another like 50 year old guy and his four kids and the uh the 60 year old guy and the 50 year old guy were like sitting next to each other whoa did you see that like both uh separate from their own families
Starting point is 00:43:11 um and one of the like the the guy who was there with his wife was so excited about it he said i couldn't sleep last night thinking about the circus so nice yeah sweet and it's like it's like a sweeter version of the circus because there's no like animal cruelty yeah i mean they they tell you they do it off just so you get comfortable yeah like just so you know some like we don't see any animals but they were harmed yeah yeah there's just a slideshow of the different animals well the theme is mexico so they did they abused a lot of street dogs yes um the uh uh because did you go to the circus when you were a kid i think i i didn't second maybe i just saw it on tv so much i thought i went but i feel like i've been to the circus yeah what was the circus on tv like you know in like shows like people will go to the circus. Yeah. When was the circus on TV? Like, you know, in like shows
Starting point is 00:44:05 like people will go to the circus. Yeah. I guess not. They weren't showing live circus performance on TV. A pay-per-view.
Starting point is 00:44:11 Yeah. I'm watching Scrambled Circus right now. But yeah, I remember the, I remember going to the circus and even
Starting point is 00:44:22 when I was a kid I was like, this is from another time. Yeah, you're like, this is depressing was a kid i was like this is from another time yeah you're like this is depressing in a way yeah this is like from because it was an animal circus yeah yeah like the shriner circus and it was like so loud smelled bad smelled bad and it was and it was like dark in a way that i don't know if that was just to like, so that the animals wouldn't freak out or whatever, but like the stage would be very dark and, uh,
Starting point is 00:44:50 and clowns again, making themselves known. Um, but yeah, it was, it was weirder to see animals. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:59 Yeah. I bet. Yeah. This was just like, you know, the fittest people you've ever seen. Yeah. That's what I want to see. Yeah. Somebody yoked. Yeah. I bet. Yeah. This was just like, you know, the fittest people you've ever seen. Yeah. That's what I want to see.
Starting point is 00:45:06 Yeah. Somebody yoked. Yeah. It's gotta be like the Olympic village when they're off set. Yeah. Um, but, uh,
Starting point is 00:45:17 yeah, it was very, so it was put on by tourism, Mexico. Yeah. And it felt like for the amount of how much this was a commercial for going to mexico i felt like the ticket should have been free like it was really it was a great show like all the stunts were amazing and uh but like between two stunts they would just have like this kind of interstitial
Starting point is 00:45:40 like where two people are scuba diving on high wires and like you can scuba dive in mexico yes yeah and like these people came out and did amazing soccer tricks yeah but it was like mexico loves soccer oh yeah maybe i saw a guy on a breakfast television show that was doing soccer tricks yeah Yeah, maybe. Because I remember. Was he spinning on his back with the ball on his foot? Yeah, yeah. That was crazy. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:11 This guy was, like, when they said he was going to do soccer tricks, I got really bummed out because I was like, That sounds so, yeah, to have as a breakfast morning segment. Yeah. A guy come on and sit. And it's not necessarily a circus thing either. No, certainly not. But I guess it's, like, good for them for coming up with a new apparatus yeah because they've got to do a
Starting point is 00:46:30 lot of brainstorming to come up with because there's obviously there's going to be people who go to it every time so you got to come up with a new yeah you know theme or like it's something that you know justifies the theme that you're going to put. Yeah. And like new, new stunts, new acrobat. It can't just be like, I think forever. It was just like,
Starting point is 00:46:51 okay. Trapeze. Yeah. Highwire. Yeah. Lion. Should we pretend you're almost going to fall off the highwire? No.
Starting point is 00:46:59 Why would we do that? I want to be good at it. I want people to think I'm good at it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. yeah, yeah. Is Cirque du Soleil completely supplanted the circus? No, there must be a circus that goes to Madison Square Garden. Do the Ringling Brothers, they don't exist anymore? I don't.
Starting point is 00:47:22 At a certain point, it became the ringling brothers and barnum and bailey oh right so it's like maybe that's what i thought that maybe maybe uh it's like if the parker brothers and milton bradley got together dare to dream imagine that summit or if the hardy boys and nancy drew got together they put aside their differences but they just abused animals together for a crowd's enjoyment um but uh yeah no it's great uh we'll go again in a few years i'm not gonna be one of these people who goes every year no it's uh i've only been once and i i like i thought it was fantastic but i was just freaked out about the performers the whole time because i'm just like you were shrooming yeah and i was
Starting point is 00:48:12 just like uh they're not getting paid enough no that's to put their life on the line on the line so that i can just be like whoa yeah like this guy gets a stubs his toe he's he's out of work yeah and uh like i think when my brother was in college or just after he like uh washed dishes for the cirque de soleil while it was in calgary and uh i know they eat like kings i know that like the food is amazing but i just i can't wrap my head around people risking their lives speaking of wrapping your head around you should have seen the contortionist oh yeah oh boy gross like you're you know with your you see like a really flexible person you're wondering if they can you know yeah yeah yeah yeah this guy could invent some that was part of the show i mean
Starting point is 00:49:06 it was it was like it was unspoken yeah this guy's doing it doing him to himself he's like running back yeah he can give himself a cat bath and so they do it in mexico yeah exactly it's like uh i guess they maybe have a cobra in mexico because they had he kind of came out of a cobra kind of out of like a snake basket oh yeah yeah okay well i mean sure okay i uh i don't know what i would want a contortionist to do come out of a suitcase is what i want oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to see a clown come out and be like, oh, this suitcase is too heavy, and then open it up. Hey, I'm
Starting point is 00:49:50 writing a stunt right now. That's good. The clown stuff was very... Yeah, it's for kids to yell at the clown, I think. Like, he's trying to... You're scary! There's a big shower on stage. The door just came out.
Starting point is 00:50:05 This is what you want. It's not really a shower. It's like a, just like a, like a straight, it's like, I don't know, 20 feet long
Starting point is 00:50:13 and just a sheet of water that comes down. Okay. But it can come down in little bits. And like at one point they're just sending water designs down
Starting point is 00:50:22 that are in different shapes and it was super cool. But then the clown comes out and he's like, oh'm gonna fill my glass over here oh the water's coming out over there go over there clown okay go over there thirsty the clown yeah plus he was sending all these he was posting all these thirst trap pictures or my pants coming down a little bit just we francais so yeah go to the circus go to the circus it's great um check it out it may be coming to your town rolling through town on uh you know a wagon thing. How do they travel? Oh boy.
Starting point is 00:51:05 Yeah. I feel like that's the famous picture of circus. On like wooden wheels. Yeah. Wooden wagon wheels. Yeah. Traveling at night so that the townsfolk don't get you. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:51:19 What's going on with you? Um, a couple of weeks ago I did a show at a fundraiser for water. And then Cirque du Soleil just came to town and made a huge water wall. I was like, oh, man, this is what we're trying to save. They must recycle it. I hope so. Well, they say they do, but they actually don't. Penn Jillette told me about it
Starting point is 00:51:45 they're like the water here is the gray water from the stadium next door um yeah i did a uh set at a fundraiser it was crazy like it was only like a like a seven minute set which is great yeah that's the perfect amount of time to do at a fundraiser. What was the audience? Like, what was the entertainment? Were you the only comedian? I was the only comedian, but. A beatboxer came out?
Starting point is 00:52:16 There was a beatboxer who came out. He was just trying some stuff. But one of the weirder acts of the show was the guy um do you know les stroud he's the outdoor man yeah yeah survivor man okay yeah um and i was like what is he gonna do on stage talk about water yeah or like you know eat a pine cone or something like that. Like, he would do that kind of stuff, right? So his show is How to Survive Outside? In the Wild?
Starting point is 00:52:51 Yeah. He was like an authentic version of what Bear Grylls kind of pretended to be. Mid-Hollywood. Yeah, yeah. He's not Man Tracker, though, is he? No, he's not Man Tracker. He was like like but he didn't have a camera crew with him like all of the shots were like he'd set up the camera and
Starting point is 00:53:10 then he'd do something so it was just him no camera and he's not the guy who tells people what they can do better to make their bar better oh no that's uh john taffer yeah but he he sang like a blues song Les Stroud yeah yeah the survivor man yeah and then when they introduced
Starting point is 00:53:30 him they were like his his latest album so he had multiple albums wow and that Slash
Starting point is 00:53:38 worked on whoa yeah it's but like is is being a
Starting point is 00:53:44 like do all celebrities just kind of mingle and it's like you're slash or you're survivor man or your cake boss and you just all travel in the same circle is les stroud that is he popular enough in america where he could get i mean obviously he could get slash to work on his album but that's so surprising to hear yeah I was gobsmacked we make a podcast and there's people who work in the same field as us
Starting point is 00:54:14 who are like I'm too good to be on your show Slash should be like who? Slash for one. Not Nick Nemiroff there's people who like never get back to us who are like coming through town and and we know a hundred people in common yeah yeah yeah but it's yeah it's it's just like how does you know like a guy who's not known for music. Right. Maybe he helped slash,
Starting point is 00:54:45 uh, live in the woods for a bit. This is a possibility that slash was like, I've, I've gotten too comfortable. I want to make a top hat out of bark on that music video channel. I watch sometimes they have concerts. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:00 And I watched the slash concert with his band solo slash. Well, his, his band slash aash? Well his band Slash's Snake Pit? I don't know if they're called Slash's Snake Pit Well they were
Starting point is 00:55:08 Well one of his Earlier His first album Might have been called Yeah yeah I don't know if he still calls it Slash Sing? No
Starting point is 00:55:16 Okay He gets less strapped To come out Yeah Been collaborating For years He's got Paige Davis
Starting point is 00:55:25 from make help me make your room or whatever it's called on bass if I could have
Starting point is 00:55:31 got the reference it would have been good if I could have made a band of reality Marilyn Dennis yeah
Starting point is 00:55:38 Marilyn Dennis everyone from the social just harmonizing but Slash is great he's he's like as a kid I was like oh he's such a like he's just shredding From the social. Just harmonizing. But Slash is great.
Starting point is 00:55:49 He's like, as a kid, I was like, oh, he's such a, like, he's just shredding. Like, because I played guitar, and he was so good. I never even tried to do those, like, shredding runs that he does on his guitar. Oh, yeah, he's a magic man. But, like, other than that, the melodies of his guitar solos are so memorable. Like, you can sing the, you know, sweet child of mine one or. Oh yeah, that's true. Or, um, November rain. I just remember like my favorite, like thing that slash my favorite slash moment was like him at the MMVAs.
Starting point is 00:56:23 No, or the MVAs? Whatever the MTV one. And he came out to present an award with Justin Bieber. And it was just like, oh, Justin Bieber's a kid. Like you forget and then until you see him next to like a grizzle, like a road tested, like leather clad. And you're like, oh, Justin Bieber's like a war test road tested uh like leather clad and you're like oh justin bieber's like a little kid it's just so funny and whoever you know it's just like a grab bag of names like okay justin bieber and into the hat slash his hat all these names are slash just folded up his name a bunch of things yeah so i less stroud live yeah you've seen less stroud live i have did he play with a band uh no he just uh he did he
Starting point is 00:57:18 did he played guitar and sang this like bluesy song and that just one song was the car guitar at least like carved out of a deer carcass or something yeah yeah yeah it was he was busy assembling it just right up till showtime was the song were the lyrics about being a survivor person in the wild i think they were about like earth you you know, or something about that. I have the blues about earth myself. Oh, I think we all do. Um,
Starting point is 00:57:50 and, uh, so he, so I got to see that. And I also got to have my, uh, picture taken with David Suzuki. Oh,
Starting point is 00:57:57 yeah. Yeah. He loves it. But I feel like when he goes to something like this, it's like. He's going to be a king at those kinds of events. Everybody wants to like have a picture taken with him. For any non-Canadians listening, David Suzuki is a famous environmentalist.
Starting point is 00:58:16 Yeah. And he was like. He's the famous environmentalist. He was like famous as an environmentalist before that was a thing that you could be. Totally. Yeah. Like he's, he's been on TV doing his show for like since the seventies or something.
Starting point is 00:58:31 Yeah. Yeah. And, uh, he still looks great. And, uh, he's very friendly guy.
Starting point is 00:58:38 Uh, and like very gracious with the number of photos that he had to take that evening. Right. Um, but, uh, and that was it. I think he was just there. He didn't get up on stage and do some harmonica.
Starting point is 00:58:53 It would have been great if it was just like an environmentalist talent night. Yeah, that would have been good. Yeah. Just like he goes up and does feats of strength just tears a melon in half yeah um yeah so that's that's what i did i got to see uh wilderness wild man oh yeah you got some blue wild blue wild man blues oh yeah we got there it It's a Woody Allen documentary? Yeah. Yeah, about him going on like... Playing clarinet?
Starting point is 00:59:27 Yeah, going on a world tour playing the clarinet. Have you ever seen it? No. I didn't even know he played clarinet. He, I guess like every... That's probably the most famous thing about him. He like does a show in New York every Tuesday or something. Oh, up until even now.
Starting point is 00:59:42 Yeah. Wow, wow, wow. Yeah, and he like... I can't remember. I don't know if this is like an urban legend or whatever that he won the year that he won the oscar for annie hall that he was it coincided with his jazz night oh he didn't go he didn't go oh i see um he's a jazz man yes yeah even though it says wild man blues it's jazz it's jazz dixieland all that kind of like that's in all of his movies yeah that's what he's trying to do yeah does he play it in the movies i don't know if he's scored his own movies it's a bit of a yeah
Starting point is 01:00:18 i don't think i think that's the only reason that he makes movies he's just trying to get a score in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good guy. Yeah, great guy. Do we want to move on to a little bit of business? Yeah. Oh, buddy. Heya. This week on the show, we've got a Jumbotron.
Starting point is 01:00:40 Fun. Yeah. I always enjoy the Jumbotrons. If you want a Jumbotron on our show Go to MaximumFun.org Slash Jumbotron Graham This is a message
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Starting point is 01:01:40 of Stop Podcasting. Well, bye, Graham. I have to go. Oh, no. Where are you going? I'm going to go away. Ah, bye, Graham. I have to go. Oh, no. Where are you going? I'm going to go away. Ah. That is correct. We are brought to you by Away. Oh, hi. Oh, hi.
Starting point is 01:01:53 It's me. Who are you? I don't know yet. Okay. Well, while you figure that out, we're going to read this copy. Away creates thoughtful products designed to change how you see the world. They started with the perfect suitcase, crafted with features that make travel more seamless. Now they offer a range of essentials that solve real travel problems.
Starting point is 01:02:11 So all you have to think about is where you're headed next. Because getting away means getting more out of every trip to come. Do you know who you are yet? Yeah, my name's Trip to Come. And what's your origin story? Well, Trip is a family name. Uh-huh. And T'Kum is named after, oh boy, I guess that's also my family name.
Starting point is 01:02:38 Okay, sure. So this is just two family names. First name, last name, yeah. Yep, first name. Okay. And my whole deal is that I'm on the run from the police. Yeah. And what's your luggage situation? Oh, I got this great bag that's got a little phone charger in it.
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Starting point is 01:03:37 I'm so off the grid. I wouldn't want to trouble them. But you know what? It's nice to know you could. I know, but then I feel like I'd get frowned. Yeah, no, that's true. You're on the run. And I'm surprised that you've stayed around this long for this ad.
Starting point is 01:03:52 Yeah. Just need a rest, I guess. I guess so, yeah. My creaky old bones. You can tell something's wrong with my voice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You definitely sound like you have a sore throat. Maybe keep a pack of lozenges in your way back.
Starting point is 01:04:07 It comes and goes. It comes and goes. Okay. All right. For $20 off a suitcase, visit awaytravel.com slash SPY and use promo code SPY during checkout. That's $20 off a suitcase by going to awaytravel.com slash SPY and use promo code SPY at checkout. Well, I hope the law doesn't catch up with you. Why does the siren have a funny voice, too?
Starting point is 01:04:50 Overheard. overheard overheard the segment of which uh if you hear something great out there it's your duty bound to share it and uh we always like to start with the guest oh yeah nick if we think it's fair it's only fair yeah thank you that's very polite and fair. Yeah. This one is from one of my very first open mics in LA at the Ice House in Pasadena. Yeah. And there was like truly 75 plus comedians there just like waiting. You like put your name in a bucket. And slash his hat. And slash his hat. And see if he picks it and lets you come up and play guitar.
Starting point is 01:05:26 Good comedy night. Exactly. And so we are just all sitting there and like, there's one guy who like, I would say really looked like he wanted to talk to somebody. Yeah. And I was like right next to him and like sort of trying not to talk to him. I was just like, you know, on my phone, just being kind of an ass,
Starting point is 01:05:46 but, uh, someone sat down in between us and he's like, I'm going to do comedy tonight. I was on judge Judy. I truly, I remember writing that down on my phone and just being like, that was such a crazy first thing
Starting point is 01:06:05 to hear out of this guy's mouth like that's his credit yeah yeah he was so excited about it too does Judy
Starting point is 01:06:12 their audience is only actors like you have to be in the actors union to be for real yeah
Starting point is 01:06:19 oh I couldn't tell if he had meant like or he was like a plaintiff or a defendant if he was a or a character witness yeah if he had meant like, or he was like a plaintiff or defendant. If he was a character witness.
Starting point is 01:06:27 Yeah. If he was somebody who won something, he would mention it. Right. Oh, yeah. I won Judge Judy. Yeah. I won Judge Judy. I spun the big wheel. Dave, do you have one?
Starting point is 01:06:41 I do. This is a very long one. All right. But you have nowhere to be right um so uh last two weeks ago we went to new york and as we were waiting we flew through calgary whoo thank you i took a picture of spelumbo's sandwich shop but while we were waiting for our flight, there was an old man. No, not old.
Starting point is 01:07:07 A man in his 70s, but he had a very old. It's a young man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, when I was a kid, that was the oldest kind of man. Yeah. He had a very old man way about him because he was lying down across like four seats. Oh, God. With his eyes closed, not like paying attention to the world
Starting point is 01:07:26 with his wife sitting on her phone uh and he's just calling out to her to do stuff and she is so over it yeah uh and so he says can you see if the post office is open that day usps and his wife says i don't like to open another page because then I lose the page I'm on. And then he says, is our flight on the board yet? I can't exactly see the board. And then she's saying they're doing something on November 11th. But that's a holiday. And he says, that's the soldier holiday.
Starting point is 01:08:07 Yeah. But are the schools open or not? I don't know if the schools are open or care. And then he says, when they get to wherever they're going, New York, I guess. What time do we have to take the train 10 or 8 or something and she says what are you talking about henry i don't know um and then he calls out when we get on i'll take the rolling bag you get the other one and she just rolls her eyes she She just ignores him this time.
Starting point is 01:08:46 And then she says, he, you know, we should probably go to the bathroom before we get on the plane. There's one over there. And he gets up and says, over here?
Starting point is 01:08:55 Just look! Oh. He's become very dependent on her for all things. This does definitely remind me of my parents, I would say, also. It feels very out of a conversation with them.
Starting point is 01:09:10 They were my favorite. Yeah. And it's like, I just don't, like, is that just what happens over time? Is that just, it ends up how you
Starting point is 01:09:21 talk to your... Well, like, I mean, you just have to, I think you just have to, I mean, maybe it does and maybe i will be that way soon but i think once the you get the first curt answer you're just like okay i'm on my own here yeah yeah yeah i'll figure i'll go look at the board myself i'm bothering her i think my favorite part of that was if i change the page then i lose the page I'm looking at is a very old person thing.
Starting point is 01:09:45 Yes. Well, this will be gone forever. Yeah. If I look up another page, then I can't go back. There's no other tab I could open. Do you have one? Yours reminded me of one that I overheard between an even older couple. Oh, boy. And it was in, I got off the elevator. I was in a hotel, in i got off the elevator i was in a hotel
Starting point is 01:10:07 and i got off the elevator at the same time as them and i let them go first huge mistake because they were going down the hall the same way i was going and they were taking forever and they were walking side by side so i couldn't get around them so it's just like well i'm in for whatever conversation they're having listen to these two turtles talk to each other. And, uh, the, uh,
Starting point is 01:10:31 uh, the wife, I assume they're married. Maybe they were just hooking up. Where was this? This was in Victoria. Yeah. What happened?
Starting point is 01:10:40 Yeah. Exactly. It's in Victoria. Um, uh, the wife said said should we get should we get housekeeping to give us more towels because there's a housekeeping cart up ahead like miles ahead but why not talk about it now on our way there um and he said uh yeah i think we should get breakfast in the morning. So totally did not. Like a fat guy in a movie.
Starting point is 01:11:08 Are you thinking what I'm thinking? And then just her response was, that's not what I asked at all. Can we get more towels? Yeah, I think we should get breakfast in the morning. When else would we get breakfast? I guess they have all day breakfast um anyways they were adorable yeah yeah i do like the planning ahead for the towels at the very end of the hall and also in his mind planning ahead for breakfast the next day well like my old couple the guy was like
Starting point is 01:11:42 okay when we get on the plane you take take the rolling luggage, I'll take the... So, like, you don't need to... You can just hand it off when you stand up. You're not going to stand up and go straight onto the plane. A lot of people wish they could, but you know what? There's lineups. You got to stand in the right line. Sounds like maybe that original couple also had
Starting point is 01:12:05 issues before traveling together. So they're like getting it ahead. I think they maybe had issues for 50 years. Yeah, that's also what it sounds like. Do we have anything else? Is the show over? No! Let's take the rest of the day off. We also have overheard sent in from
Starting point is 01:12:24 listeners. If you want to send one into us, you can send it in to spy at maximumfun.org. This first one comes from Sean in New York. This is some graffiti he saw. Probably on the Joker stairs. R.I.P. Martin.
Starting point is 01:12:40 He died as he lived with a falafel in his hand. Yeah. It's nice. It it is nice wouldn't mind that on my headstone i mean i don't know that it would be a falafel but you know whatever whatever he was just holding one little falafel patty or probably a gyro yeah oh yeah a shawarma yeah um a pita and i mean i guess the falafel can substitute for the whole thing yeah it's synecdoche um synecdoche isn't that what that word means i love i love the sound of that word it's when like uh a whole apart substitutes for the whole thing oh also in a suit oh yeah okay hey i had heard that word before but i never knew what it meant until now.
Starting point is 01:13:27 I think that's right. No, I think that's right. It's a higher up high school English word. Totally. You know, it's like, I'll see a word that I don't know, I'll look it up, and then immediately forget what that word means. I'm like that with names. I'm pretty sure I've looked up
Starting point is 01:13:45 that word before and it did not absorb what it... Did you ever see Synecdoche, New York? I did. Did it mean anything? Yeah, I guess,
Starting point is 01:13:54 I guess it does. I guess it makes sense because he's like putting on a play of his life and he's building a life-size set of New York.
Starting point is 01:14:03 It's a crazy movie. Let's York. It's a crazy movie. Let's just say it's a crazy movie. Yeah, okay. I'd watch it again. Yeah, I never saw it. Charlie Kaufman? Charlie Kaufman. Damn.
Starting point is 01:14:14 Philip Seymour Hoffman. Hmm. Was there a third rhyming last name? Felicity Huffman. Close. Yeah. When close. This next one comes from Ben from Los Angeles.
Starting point is 01:14:30 Coming at you with an overheard. Oh, thanks. Of the customer-employee variety. I work on the sales floor at a clothing store, and I was listening to my co-worker introduce himself to a customer. After answering the customer's question about a product, he introduced himself as Philip and she said, ah, like the screwdriver. I like
Starting point is 01:14:51 that. Pretty useful screwdriver. Yeah. Is it the crisscross? Yeah. Damn. So it's the only one that has a name, screwdriver-wise? I mean, you got your flathead. Slot. Yeah. Square one. Square guy. Bigger screwdriver. Yeah, only one that has a name screwdriver wise i mean you got your flathead slot yeah the square one square guy bigger screwdriver yeah bigger a little smaller did you when when you were a kid did you
Starting point is 01:15:14 ever like help a dad or older man with something and they asked you to get a tool and you were like uh i think so and then i would just like bring like an assortment and just be like, it's gotta be one of yours. Yeah. Yeah. Cause I remember like, I was like, help me.
Starting point is 01:15:34 My grandfather, maybe it was my dad and he asked for a socket wrench and I was like, Oh boy, I can find that for you now. It's the one that goes like, got a ratchet. Uh, I don't know. It's a. It's the one that goes like. Is that a ratchet? I don't know. It's a socket wrench.
Starting point is 01:15:47 That's all I know. It's like a thing goes over the bolt and then it makes that sound. Okay. So in the future, I would just, if I was having a kid help me fix something, I'd be like, get me this one. To spare the kid the embarrassment. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Socket wrench. How was i supposed to know you don't even know what a socket is no exactly i was learning i was just learning the alphabet
Starting point is 01:16:11 at the time did you ever learn it uh you know up to a point i feel like the last half you can just wing it yeah element of yeah yeah y yada, yada, yada. This last one comes from Annie in Ottawa. I was at the grocery store when I walked by a kid and his dad. They were standing in front of the deli meat section. The kid, who was about eight years old, pointing at the Lunchables, says to his dad, Take it down. I just want to read the ingredients.
Starting point is 01:16:47 I can't imagine that those ingredients are encouraging either in the lunchables yeah do they have to have different like uh like different columns for each chemical lunchable but like do they have to have the crackers are made of this, this, this, and this? Yeah. The ham is ham. But I bet you the ham is also a lot of other things. Yeah. It's just like a perfect circle of ham. Yeah. There's got to be some sort of chemical that makes that circle. Circulates it.
Starting point is 01:17:20 Makes it all circular. Yeah. Some kind of bologna fire. Roundium. Yeah. Some kind of baloney fire. Roundium. Some kind of socket wrench. Talking about tools and a perfect circle. It's a real industrial music day or whatever.
Starting point is 01:17:38 I don't know what you would call it. Hey, how's it going? In addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us, our phone number is 1-844-779-7631. That's one. Ugh. SpyPod 1. Like these people have.
Starting point is 01:17:56 Oh, and stick around for the after show. Yeah. You can hear more of what's going on at stuffhuggetyourself.com well yeah we'll find out what really makes this sick fuck tick laughter alright
Starting point is 01:18:15 hello Dave and Roman guests this is Alan calling you from Boston I am walking home so that's why I'm out of breath sorry about that and the skateboarder just heard cool and I just heard a couple of college kids on this train say talking to each other i feel like this is a safe space for me to ask this question what is brisket uh yeah i couldn't answer it is it some kind of yeah i was gonna go beef yeah and it's like i know it tastes good is it bread or is it i thought it's like shred shredded no i know
Starting point is 01:18:58 shredded i feel like you get a cut of it oh yeah i guess i've had shredded brisket and i just assume that was how everyone eats it all the time. It's barbecued. Is it at a lot of barbecue restaurants? Yeah, that's right. Well, you get
Starting point is 01:19:12 like a strip of it. Yeah, a slice. Slice. Do they rub it? Is it rubbed? I don't know. I feel like this is a safe space.
Starting point is 01:19:21 But you know what? We're not going to. We're not going to look it up. Do you eat meat? Yeah. We should know. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:19:28 Sometimes when I'm helping my grandfather at the barbecue, he'll be like, bring me the brisket. I'll be like, uh. Bring him a socket wrench. I'll bring him a Lunchable. Here you go. Here's your next phone call. Hi. I'm David Graham and possible guest.
Starting point is 01:19:44 My name is Erin. I'm calling from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, within overseen. I'm in a little neighborhood of Pittsburgh called Sharpsburg, and I just walked by a gym here that's called Glory Bound. And it seems like it's a religious gym. And it seems like it's a religious gym. And the picture they have is of Jesus lifting a big cross on his back. He did. And it says, his pain is your gain.
Starting point is 01:20:17 I don't know. I think that's kind of hilarious. Wow. It's the, I mean, his pain is your gain throughout the religion whether you work out or not no but yeah i've never seen uh uh like a religious physical motivation poster right yeah you know i feel like they should have jesus bench pressing the cross yeah yeah i mean it's a good apparatus you could do a lot of things with like you lose can lose a lot of your body resistance. And like a lot of paintings of Jesus. He shredded. He shredded.
Starting point is 01:20:49 Yeah. He is absolutely like shredded like a brisket. Like shredded like a brisket may or may not be. But yeah, like is he the, the, is Jesus the most yoked figure of the Bible? Oh, or religious figure at all.
Starting point is 01:21:07 Oh, religious figure at all. Definitely more than Buddha. Yeah, definitely more than Buddha. I'm not supposed to draw what I think Muhammad looks like. That's true. What about Moses? Is Moses, was he a? It's hard to tell.
Starting point is 01:21:22 Moses seems so old to be more jacked than Jesus yeah we think that now like but back in the day back in the day yeah we looking back
Starting point is 01:21:31 he seemed so old when we were kids he was he was 35 it's like when they they someone posted a picture of what all the
Starting point is 01:21:41 how old all the traveling Wilburys were oh yeah and like one of them was 50. That's crazy. Tom Petty was 38. Wow. Oh, man.
Starting point is 01:21:53 Here's your final overheard. How about a Tom Petty, Jim? Hello, Dave Graham and gorgeous guest. This is Anne from Rochester, New York. and gorgeous guest. This is Anne from Rochester, New York. So I was at a tabletop game store where I overheard a group of people introducing their Dungeons & Dragons characters.
Starting point is 01:22:17 One of the people at the table finished describing what her character looked like and finished it off with, and she's got a huge muffin top. And so there was this beat of awkward silence until one of the other people at the table who was playing Dungeons and Dragons with the first person asked, what do you think a muffin top is? And the first player responded, like, completely obliviously and innocently
Starting point is 01:22:52 that, well, it means that she's just got really big boobs. Anyways, I hope you enjoy the rest of the episode. Bye. Oh, me too. me too thanks for that I thought that she was going to say that it was some kind of haircut oh yeah muffin top it's the skin pouring out of
Starting point is 01:23:18 too tight pants it's adorable whenever I see it out in the wild I'm like I like it out in the wild, I'm like, oh, I don't, I like it. And keep going. That's what I say. Fictional or real.
Starting point is 01:23:32 And also I'd be open to muffin boobs. Yeah. Yeah. I'm open to it all. Yeah. All sorts of baked body products. Yeah. Mostly muffin.
Starting point is 01:23:42 Yeah. Croissant. Yeah. Scone. Yeah. Yeah yeah scone style body yeah bagel butt yeah there's i think bagel butt is i mean eventually if you look far enough into a butt as a bagel bagel If you look... That's Nick's classic sign-off. Remember, folks, if you look far enough into a butt, that caller wished us we would enjoy the rest of the episode. I am.
Starting point is 01:24:14 Yeah. That's so nice. Yeah, this has been a lot of fun. Nick, that brings us to the end of the episode. What would you like to plug? You have a taping coming up? Yeah. I've got an album taping in Toronto,
Starting point is 01:24:28 December 9th and 10th at the Ossington. Get tickets at nicknemeroff.eventbrite.com. I was trying to get that website. I've been sitting on it for years, just waiting to make an event. And then, yeah, if you follow me on Instagram or Twitter at nicknemero event. And then, yeah, if you follow me
Starting point is 01:24:45 on Instagram or Twitter at Nick Nemiroff. And thank you so much for being our guest. It was a lot of fun. Thank you for having me. It was a great time. Thank you for getting up
Starting point is 01:24:55 so early in the morning. I love it. I have so much free time now. Yeah, this is insane. That's true. Like, you don't have to, like, crunch your whole day
Starting point is 01:25:03 into an afternoon. Yeah. You can, like, you can take a, you don't have to, like, crunch your whole day into an afternoon. Yeah. You can, like, you can take a, you could go to that Jesus gym that we talked about earlier. Strange stop by Pittsburgh
Starting point is 01:25:11 for a bit. Yeah. Do you have anything? Oh, I don't think I probably do. Happy Remembrance Day to all of us. Yes.
Starting point is 01:25:20 I also second that. Yeah. Enjoy the stat holiday. This episode won't come out probably until the afternoon. So that moment of silence has passed. But, you know, have another moment of silence. Yeah. On us.
Starting point is 01:25:33 You know, if you live near a Legion, go buy a Vantam beer. Yeah. If you got the time. Why not? Yeah. if you got the time. Why not? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:25:49 And coming up on November 29th and 30th, I will be doing 24 hours of stand-up comedy at the Havana Theater. Beautiful. To coincide with Pat Thornton doing the same in Toronto. Right. That's amazing, yeah. And the tickets... That will be amazing.
Starting point is 01:26:03 It'll be weird. You know, For part of it I might sit on a stool Yeah I don't blame you I hope so Have you done What's the longest You've ever been awake
Starting point is 01:26:14 Oh awake Oh I've done I think I've done 48 No problem Lately Yeah like within the last year I've done it. It's not pleasant.
Starting point is 01:26:27 No, you can do it. Around hour 20, you get a little punchy. Are you going to time it so you wake up right before you hit the stage? Yeah, as much as I can. I'm going to try and not have anything to do that day. So I can just have a nap up until an hour before. And then just charge onto that stage. And do everybody I've ever seen's jokes.
Starting point is 01:26:51 Oh, also, when is the Chris Locke thing? Oh, November 14th, this week, this Thursday. Chris Locke in town at the Havana Theater as well. That's just, that's not going to be 24 hours. No, just probably, probably an going to be 24 hours. No. Just probably an hour would be my guess. An hour about the show 24. Yes. The show 24.
Starting point is 01:27:12 Yeah. Well, thank you everybody for listening. If you like the show, why not leave a review on iTunes or tell your friends and come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture.
Starting point is 01:27:45 Artist owned. Audience supported.

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