Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 608 - Nick Nemeroff
Episode Date: November 11, 2019Comedian Nick Nemeroff joins us to talk open mics, the circus, and the environment....
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Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself.
Woo!
Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 608 of Stop Podcasting Yourself.
My name is Graham Clarka. With me as always is a man who, uh, it's nice to see this early in the day.
Mr. Dave Shovka.
Uh, yeah, we don't usually do such an early recording.
I had to do some rescheduling, so everyone had to do some rescheduling.
And everyone was very kind to accommodate a 9 a.m. Wednesday morning record.
It's a real breakfast show vibe.
It is, yeah.
We're going to have somebody from Milestones Kitchen.
That's going to show us how to make their famous coconut cake.
Yep.
And then we've got somebody from the Busker Festival.
Oh, and someone's coming here to do a preview of the fall TV season.
That really is a guy on the morning news doing.
Okay, well, I watched the morning news today because I had half an hour before you guys showed up.
I'm usually out the door by then.
It was a guy giving previews of what's going to be on Apple TV.
Oh, yeah.
Their new shows on their new service.
Everything good?
The same stuff you've...
The Steve Jobs project?
Yes.
No, the morning show.
Okay.
Do you know that?
No.
Oh, they were eating it up on the morning.
Oh, yes, of course.
And the Jason Momoa thing.
Oh, yeah.
Him just handsoming around. yeah him in like the future
oh we've seen him in the past yeah game of thrones yeah we've seen him underwater is there are there
any movies where he's a regular guy where he's just like a an office drone yeah not yet no but
you know there's gonna be a movie where he plays his own twin.
And then there was someone, the 10th anniversary of the Olympics is going to be in five months. So why not talk about that a little?
Yeah.
Our guest today, a very funny comedian, will be recording His first album In Toronto
At the Ossington
December 9th and 10th
It's Nick Nemeroff
Hi guys
Thank you for having me
Thank you for coming
Bringing that
Early morning energy
I love it
Just
Really regret getting
An herbal tea
Instead of a coffee
Right now
I can go make you a coffee
No that's okay
You've been so nice
And accommodating so far
How so?
I've given you water
And I said Get downstairs We're recording Yeah well that's The nicest You've been so nice and accommodating so far. How so? I've given you water and I said get downstairs.
We're recording.
Yeah, well, that's the nicest thing anyone's done for me.
Just give me a glass of water.
Okay.
I mean, I guess.
Sure.
You lived a very parched life.
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
Well, you grew up in Flint, Michigan.
Oh, okay.
Do you want to get to know us?
Sure.
Get to know us.
Nick, this is your first time on the podcast.
First time on the pod.
So we got to learn all about you.
You're originally from Toronto, now living in Los Angeles.
Yeah, originally from Montreal.
Oh, originally from Montreal.
And lived in Toronto for nine years and then moved to LA.
Okay.
Did you start comedy in Montreal?
I did my first ever set there, but then I was already living in Toronto at that point.
Right.
So I would say I started in Toronto.
Graham's got a lot of questions about your career.
I want to tell you, your hair is so dark.
Oh, thank you very much. Yeah, it is.
Yeah.
I used to maintain that my hair was brown for some reason, and now I've just given in to it being black.
My kids tell me my hair is black.
Oh, yeah.
No, it's not.
They're wrong.
Because they have very light brown hair.
Yeah.
And they say it's brown.
And they've seen like very blonde hair.
So on the spectrum, they think this is black.
They haven't been exposed to a lot of brunettes yet.
No, and we've shielded them from Nick.
Right, exactly.
I did have to wear that cap when I walked in.
Yeah, yeah.
So, has it always been that dark?
My hair?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Were you a blonde baby?
Yeah, I think it was slightly less dark when I was a little baby.
Yeah.
And, you know, just as I matured and, and you know got withered away by the world and uh
grew in more black i guess it's very representative very metaphorical my hair yeah yeah i like uh i
like it when uh a part of your body can be an extension of the withering away of time right
exactly um are you going gray at all? Probably, but it's...
You have very light hair.
Yeah, light hair.
It's more the hairline is receding than going gray.
No.
I would be all for just going completely...
Although...
Completely bald or gray?
Completely gray.
Right.
Yeah.
Over going completely bald.
Although, I could get into the like
the horseshoe i think you'd be in and i think you'd have a good uh bald head a good shaved
head because you look good in hats yeah yeah that's true that's a good indicator of head
shape yeah yeah yeah yeah uh some people look hilarious in hats right and then if they go bald
what do they do?
It's true.
I wonder if a bunch of cowboys were just actually trying to hide their bald spot.
Dwight Yoakam.
Right.
Yeah.
Definitely.
Worked for Garth Brooks as well.
Oh, is he?
Yeah.
He had the real like peninsula.
Do you like country music, Nick?
I actually love it.
Do you really?
No, I don't really know much about it.
No, me neither no i know the
name dwight yokum but that was my only i hardly know him right um so uh
but yeah i guess i'm not a country music i know like the big the ones that are on the mural so
outside the country your Dolly Parton,
Kenny Rogers.
Merritt has the music festival,
the country music festival.
And country music
walk of fame.
Yeah, and they have murals there.
Yeah.
I saw like an Alan Jackson there.
Oh, nice.
Good mustache.
So you,
why did you move
from Montreal to Toronto?
To do stand-up?
No, I moved there
to go to school,
to go to Ryerson University.
Huge shout-out to Ryerson.
Yeah.
Go Ryerson.
Radio and television program.
Podcasting right now feels exactly like what I was meant to do.
Yeah.
Well, I think we get a lot of alumni from them.
Yeah.
I mean, we get the newsletters.
They like pitch us guests.
Oh, yeah.
You got to get.
I'm trying to think of other people I went to school with.
I don't want to name right now.
Yeah, I went there for school and then like saw a bunch of amazing comedy there, including Laugh Sabbath.
And blew my mind.
And I was like, holy shit.
Yeah.
I just wanted to do it.
And I wanted to do it and I wanted to do it
for forever
but that was like
a good indicator
of like,
oh,
you can do
really,
really funny stuff,
yeah.
Was it one of those things
where you were like,
you wanted to do it forever
but you were like,
there's no way,
there's no way
that I,
Nick Nemeroff,
could ever be doing
stand-up comedy?
I think it was like,
I just somehow was like I will do it
at some point
and then I just
kept putting it off
and then
was
went to go watch
a lot of open mics
before I ever did it
and then I was like
you know
I feel like
these guys can do it
yeah
I feel like that's the
kind of like that
yeah
have you seen Joker
I have seen Joker
I
loved it
you loved it I loved it I'm embarrassed by Joker. I loved it. You loved it?
I loved it.
I'm embarrassed by how much I liked it.
Oh, no.
Yeah.
I saw it now.
Now we have quorum.
We've never had an episode where we've all seen Joker.
Oh, I see.
I see.
What was your guys' take?
I thought Joaquin was very good.
He's so good at acting.
Unbelievable.
Why did he get in that fridge?
That part was, and I thought once you get in that fridge that part was and i thought
once you get into a fridge i thought you couldn't get out like an old-timey fridge like that for
sure yeah i feel like he was like okay just keep it rolling i'm gonna do something here
real silly yeah and then we'll have to like i don't know it'll be a metaphor for madness i don't
know i i did look at my fridge when I got home after watching that movie.
And you considered it?
Well, I was just wondering, could I?
Right.
If I wanted to.
And I think my fridge is too small.
I think it's too narrow.
He, I think, yeah, I guess he was very like.
He lost a lot of weight to get into that fridge and that role.
Yeah.
To get into that fridge.
That was Todd Phillips'
whole treatment for the movie is Joker goes into the fridge.
So we need to build
a movie around that.
This will anchor the scene.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Anchor the movie.
Yeah, exactly.
We were talking about
last week on the show
that that flight of stairs
has now become like.
A tourist hotspot.
Everybody's doing the same dumb poses on it.
Yeah.
But yet I have not seen a photo of anybody like that I know doing the Joker stairs yet.
Yeah.
I went to New York last week, but I didn't know.
Or two weeks ago.
I didn't know.
Yeah.
You could have.
Would have been. Well, it would have been great yeah yeah i hadn't seen the movie at that point yeah you just knew
about the fridge scene so yeah yeah i went into a bunch of pictures of fridge i did a fridge tour
of new york of 80s new york you know what's cool about the j Joker is that they filmed most of that movie in New York City.
And they just dressed it up to look like Gotham for budget and stuff.
And I will say that is a joke that I tweeted.
But I just had no opportunity.
I had to say it.
It's great.
It's a great joke.
I'm going to say a joke that I tweeted.
Please do.
Which is that the truest part of that movie is that he called himself
a comedian
after just one mic,
one open mic
and a handful of murders.
Did you find...
But here's what
I didn't like about it.
What?
In the 80s,
shows weren't like
Tosh.O-ing
showing clips.
That, a few friends who I have said that I love the Joker to bring that up too.
And it is like, yeah, it's hard to argue that point. There's a few trigger media moments that I'm like, no one talks like that.
Yeah.
Right.
And that's true because they would have, whoever would have been at the club would have had to have a gigantic camera.
Right.
Filming the show.
So you would have known that you would have been taped.
Well, there was a camera.
The first shot in the club, you see the like closed circuit television.
Right.
But there is also when like, can we say stuff that happens in the movie?
Everyone fast forward.
Honestly, 45 minutes.
Yeah.
We will be dissecting
frame by frame
the Joker right now
but when
you know
they film him at the club
and they show it on
Robert De Niro
I forget his name
in the
Murray something
yeah
on the Murray Franklin show
yeah
and then
the joke that the Joker says
you know
in a stand up thing
he's like
you know
they all said
or they all laughed at me
well nobody's laughing now which is like a joke for sure yeah and then like it cuts back to murray
franklin he's like they sure ain't it's just like like he doesn't even let him give him the
opportunity that he's making a joke yeah like he that's right it's like it cuts before he possibly
could have had any laughs the first part the very first shot he's putting on makeup and by the way you know he's crazy
because he eats it uh um he's putting on makeup and you hear uh just a news report about the
garbage strike and the news and the reporter is saying and even nice parts of the city are turning into slums.
You would never say, a news person would never say,
this is a nice part of town and this is a bad part.
I'm doing my...
Reporting from the nice neighborhood.
And then they went to get some man on the street reactions
and there's like 20 of them.
You need three.
Yeah.
But this was the 80s.
There was a lot more time to fill on TV.
There was only one choice of news.
Right.
It's weird how, and I don't know if you agree with this or not, that the depictions of stand-up in movies always is feels
wrong yeah like i for for one reason or another it just like i've never seen it where i'm like
that's what it seems like or that's that's what it's like to watch a show or to be on stage or
whatever did you think that was close in this movie uh i mean no i think i was i maybe separated
the stand-up part from the movie and just like as a movie itself i just thought it was so i don't
know i was like paying attention and riveted the whole time basically but uh i don't think yeah the
stand-up didn't really feel like it was you know exactly how it feels to do stand-up didn't really feel like it was, you know, exactly how it feels to do stand-up, basically.
Although, seeing a weird open mic, that resonated with me.
I've seen enough of those.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And, you know, like, I wouldn't ever be surprised if somebody showed up at an open mic done up in clown makeup.
That would be fine, and I would try to not make a big deal out of it.
I'd be like, let's just let this guy do his...
I would probably be looking forward to the set.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Can you recall the craziest thing that you've seen at an open mic?
Or at least something in that realm?
Or at least something in that realm. I remember there was a very funny comedian in Toronto who she doesn't really do it much anymore.
But she, when I hosted an open mic at the Ossington at like, you know, one of the late night 10 p.m. start open mics.
And then she went up on stage and I think she was in like like a cloak or something like that and she took it off
and she was wearing a bathing suit underneath and then she put the microphone up to her uh vagina
and i'm pretty sure maybe my memory is a bit off here but i'm pretty sure she
was like i think the term is queefing into the microphone as the bit.
That is certainly exactly what I was looking for.
Yeah.
I really remember that.
But someone who normally had,
she like,
you know,
would do not that many times.
But normal.
Yeah. Good sets. Yeah. And like, you know, not that many times but normal yeah
like good sets
yeah
and like you know
definitely always like
a bit odd or strange
sets
but always funny
and then
that was like
you know
I was just like
this is funny I guess
yeah
you're like
I am laughing
yeah
do you have
seven minutes of it
yeah that's a thing
are you kidding me
I'm recording a whole album with it do you have seven minutes of it yeah that's a thing are you kidding me i'm recording a whole
album um do you remember anything like um no i mean like there are always like people who
have you can tell i mean there's like just so many like uh hateful people who yeah think that
this is an outlet and then there's people who who you can tell have built something up in their mind that this is, they've written the set and they're sticking to the script 100%.
Yeah.
And they've never, but they don't realize that you just have to do stand up over and over and over and over.
Right.
So they think like they've got it down.
This is their one shot and it doesn't go well
and and that's it and that's it yeah i've definitely seen a lot of that i definitely
i remember there was one time you you were hosting a show and uh someone went on and
did and it was like a someone who's not you know from the scene an outsider who came in and
did very poorly
and you just moved right
like you didn't even mention it
and I was like oh you didn't like
there was you know
or not ripped into him but there was stuff
to bond with the audience over
that wasn't like mean
and you were like
he smelled very bad something was wrong
with him yeah yeah yeah like sometimes it's like it's like uh somebody who's like i really i dared
myself to do stan and then it's fine to but if it's just somebody that you're like oh this is not
this is the the no part of this is good. Yeah. Yeah. There was once,
uh,
a guy,
um,
who used to come to the show all the time,
uh,
Ryan LaChanze.
And he would have like,
um,
always, he had like an assistant because he's,
uh,
in a wheelchair.
And so he'd always have somebody with him.
And one time,
this is like years and years ago,
one of his assistants got in in his head
that he was gonna do stand up oh my god but he like baked up a whole character like he came on
stage he was this during ryan's set or no no no this was like he asked he was like could i do
stand up i was like sure like you've been here every week for two years uh but it was weird he had seen so much stand-up and yet his takeaway was i'll create
this completely like a character that's like a guy from the woods and and you're like that's my thing
but he uh oh he bombed he bombed so bad i don't think i Did he come back or no? No, he didn't come back. Yeah. That hurts.
Yeah.
Ryan LaChance, however, very funny.
Yeah.
Very funny.
Maybe, yeah, he came back.
He came back, but.
I wonder if Ryan said to his assistant, you can't come back anymore.
You're done.
Yeah.
That was your one chance.
Yeah.
I, but I think still to this day, you could go to any open mic and see something
spectacularly weird totally yeah and for cheap usually for zero yeah yeah yeah any open mics
they're the ones that i've been to yeah it's funny though it's now i sometimes see like open
mics and like indie comedy shows for ten dollars. But I think for maybe 30 years,
it was $5.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm trying to stay at $5.
Yeah.
It's,
uh,
but like any given night of the week in most cities,
there's going to be some,
either it's going to be a comedy open mic,
or it's just going to be a general open mic where it's like one guy's going
to get up there and sing a folk song that he wrote yeah right maybe uh maybe some poems uh-huh beatbox
oh yeah i would like to see open mic beatboxing that yeah would be truly bad
i'm actually not that bad. I've been practicing pretty hard.
Remix.
Waka waka.
That would be the best.
The guy goes up and just with no anything.
Here we go.
Oh, boy.
So you were in Toronto for seven years?
Nine years.
Nine?
Yeah.
I mean, yeah, I think seven years doing comedy, but yeah, nine years total living there.
And then down to LA.
Yeah.
And then you saw The Joker.
Let's talk more about that.
And you've been on Conan?
Yeah.
Which, that must have been amazing.
Yeah. Truly the coolest thing.
Possibly that will ever happen to me.
No, no, there's much, there's cooler things on the horizon.
I mean, what would be cooler?
That's truly, yeah.
I don't know.
Partying on some kind of, like, an Elon Musk's yacht or something.
Yeah, right.
That would be pretty cool. Being locked in a room in Elon Musk's house or something. Yeah, right. That would be pretty cool.
Being locked in a room in Elon Musk's house while he and Grimes are fighting.
Just getting to be a fly on the wall for their arguments.
Yeah, that's the dream.
That's the dream of being invited to Elon Musk's house and then just like getting to see the weirdness.
Because he doesn't seem like a guy who would would put on airs he's he's weird
all the time yeah he's got those do you feel like elon musk wants to be funny yes like his tweets
are wild he's like yeah he's he wants to be memes he wants to be memes yeah yeah he, in the Tesla, there's like, have you been in one?
I have been in one, yeah.
We do not have quorum.
We do not?
No, that's right.
Only one of us has not been in Tesla.
And it shows.
It shows.
I got a vibe as soon as I met you.
I've been on the roof of one while I was speeding down the highway.
But there's a function where you can make any seat in the Tesla like a whoopee cushion seat.
Oh, so as soon as you sit down, it makes a fart noise.
And so that's the work of a man who's like...
I'm weird.
I'm weird. I'm weird.
I'm a little bit crazy.
Worth $5 trillion.
Like, yeah, you couldn't have any kind of conversation with.
Like, what would you talk about?
What would I talk about with Elon Musk?
Say you were just like, you both showed up at the same appointment
and you're both in the waiting room for a couple minutes.
Oh, hey, Elon, I hear you.
Didn't you go to like Queens or something?
Didn't you go to school in Canada?
Oh, yeah, maybe.
What was that like?
There you go.
Hey, I didn't get in there.
Yeah, that's not bad
he went to Ryerson
radio and television
yeah
he's an alum as well
oh he is
oh we should get him on
yeah exactly
you guys gotta
interview Elon
um
and I
I don't really know
anything about him
like I know the
Grimes thing
I know that he
invented
PayPal
is that
yep
yeah
oh
he has five sons
each name Elon Elon Jr. like George Foreman yep invented PayPal? Yep. Yeah. He has five sons.
Each name,
Elon.
Elon Jr. Like George Foreman.
Yeah.
He invented that
famous grill.
I bet he could do
a better grill.
Do you think
he could improve on that?
You gotta imagine.
Yeah.
Put it on funny mode
and it makes
your sandwich work.
You want a queef sandwich?
I'm not the one
who brought that word up.
So I... It's not just in the... It up. So it's not just in the ether.
It's in the ether.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
It would just be a George Foreman grill with like cool blue lights on it.
Yeah.
And it makes this sound.
I watched a documentary about Muhammad Ali and, you know, and he fought George Foreman very famously.
And I was like, there's a whole generation of people who only know George Foreman as George Foreman Grill.
And a guy who named all of his kids George.
True.
He has like, yeah, three separate legacies.
Yeah.
Naming, grilling, boxing.
Yeah. Yeah. Well, people know muhammad ali as boxer yeah poet father of the uh box of layla ali layla ali who was on the masked singer was she yeah so was paul schaefer oh really
yeah i feel like uh that's a good one. Yeah. Like he, when he pulled off,
it was funny cause his character that he was playing was like a skeleton guy.
So it was also a bald guy.
So when he pulled it off,
it was like,
Oh,
are they supposed to match the celebrities a little bit?
Or like,
is it supposed to be,
do you watch it?
No.
Okay.
I follow Paul Schaefer on Twitter.
Oh,
okay.
And he was like,
guess what?
Everybody.
And then showed the video of him.
As the skeleton man.
Yeah.
Damn.
Did you move from Toronto to LA because you consider yourself a Kawhi Leonard type?
I was trying to just follow his path, yeah.
Sure.
And I was like, wherever he goes, I will go.
That's smart.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He seems to be successful.
Yeah.
And I'm just trying to get in his like you know
group of close friends
you show up
at the same clubs
yeah
yeah
that's smart
just go to watch
every Clippers game
pretend that I'm there
with him
do a lot of like
selfies where
yeah
it's about a 300 row
difference
yeah
I don't know how many
rows there are in an arena.
Nope, me neither.
But I'd guess under 100.
That's probably true.
Those rings that they presented, oh boy, so huge.
Yeah.
I think that's the hugest ring I've ever seen for a sport.
Like the Raptors specific one?
The Raptors, yeah.
I guess so.
I saw them when they
came out and now I
don't really remember.
They're big.
Yeah.
I feel like once you
win that though, you
really want to, you
know, show it off.
Yeah.
But like, it wasn't...
It's not practical.
It's not practical,
but like...
On what occasions
do you wear it?
Ever?
Never.
No, like you just
put it in a trophy case.
Yeah.
On a giant finger, on a big foam finger.
Yeah, on one of those number one fingers.
I think you do it if you're like, if you ever win a second championship, you break out the first one.
Oh.
But then, like, if it's that big, it's hard to put more than one ring on your hand.
Yeah.
True.
If you get four, then you kind of do a Thanos.
Mm-hmm.
And then
I think Tom Brady has like
A famous picture of him with
All five
Maybe six now
One on his wiener
Yeah
It's vibrating
Henri Richard
The brother of
Pocket Rocket
Yeah
Brother of Rocket Richard
The Pocket Rocket
He won 11
Stanley Cup
So he's got a lot.
So he could put one on his pocket rocket.
Yeah.
Damn.
That's a,
that'd be fun.
That'd be a fun,
uh,
Tinder profile.
Marital aid.
Um,
but you know how like,
uh,
people who will get,
uh,
the order of Canada or something,
they'll wear their pin on like when they're on a TV panel or something to let you know.
Yeah, like, I feel like Peter Mansbridge was on an election night thing and he had it on.
And I was like, we know.
We know who you are.
We know you're famous.
Yeah.
We owe you a great gratitude, Peter Mansbridge, for being our most famous Canadian bald guy before Kevin O'Leary.
That's true.
And he carried that legacy through the ages.
Yeah, he carried it over his Mansbridge.
So you're living in L.A.
Do you like it?
Is it all right?
I like it sometimes.
Yeah, yeah.
Other times it's, you know just a slog yeah but uh yeah it's
cool yeah are you touring a lot are you mostly based out of la uh mostly based out of there and
then trying like you go to conan every day and ask if you can do it again yeah i'm friends with
kawaii now so if he has any spots for me or Kawhi or for my friend
Elon to do stand-up
I don't know
where Elon Musk
lives
oh yeah
I assumed
California
I guess
because I think
isn't Tesla
based out there
yeah
northern or
couldn't tell you
yeah
one of the directions
for sure
yeah definitely
I forget where
what I was talking
about before
you were just talking about
you were listing all your
famous friends
yeah
oh yeah sorry
and you know
Tim Allen
oh hey yeah
but yeah
LA is fun
but
hard
are you
should be easy to be
a famous comedian
that's what I think
yeah I agree
it is
yeah yeah yeah
I mean it is easy to be one right
easy to become one no that's what i think no i see yeah yeah once you're there oh boy so nice
although you know with these pc crowds i don't know i don't know i couldn't do it anymore yeah
because everyone's too woke yeah yeah exactly exactly. I'm going to return my $100 million bonus to Netflix.
I'm not going to record any more specials.
I'm just going to make the Joker now.
I mean, whoever records the first stand-up special wearing clown makeup,
it's going to be earth-shattering.
That's going to be cool.
Yeah.
Sinbad could do it.
I'd love to see a Sinbad
come back. Yeah. Sinbad
is so
funny. Watching him live
is actually amazing. I saw him in
Montreal and like
he was on a show where
he wasn't part of
the lineup. He just stopped by to do a set
and when they said his name
people went
bananas like it was just like it was like if you announce like and now the hamburglar like
like you're like oh my god he's here finally does he have a last name
uh like like when they're like uh you know legally legally a meatloaf a day
I don't know
but I remember him
coming out
and he just like
destroyed
oh yeah
and it was all just
stuff about Montreal
like he just had like
here are my
seven observances
of your city
Nick would have loved it
he's from there
exactly
I went to
when I was like 12 to a Just for Laughs gala that Sinbad was on.
I think, yeah, he was like, you know, supposed to be on or whatever.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then he like talked to the crowd and he's like, we got some teenagers here.
We got a teenager.
How old are you?
And like pointed at me and I was like, 12.
And then he, we had like a, we had a back and forth he just like you
know did whatever joke he was going to do anyways but it was uh a powerful moment in my life like
yeah blowing my mind and then it was on tv and I was like holy shit whoa yeah you're like an early
you're that kid that I saw on tv that was you yeah i have a poster of that tv on my wall um did you ever
see comedy as a kid or interact with a comedian i saw a performer who thought it was cute that
a kid was there i like i had a fake id and i went to yuck yucks when I was 16, 15.
And the comedian, the headliner was a guy named Derek Edwards.
Oh, yeah.
And he's so funny.
And he did a whole chunk about the Calgary Tower and how short it is.
And I thought that was so crazy.
I was like, that's so crazy that this comedian wrote jokes about the Calgary Tower
like it's just
I couldn't
it just blew my mind
right
out of all the things
for someone to talk about
like
like that he would
take time
to like
write a local joke
yeah
yeah
and uh
man oh man
did it destroy
but uh
yeah like as a kid
as a kid kid
I don't think I ever saw i went to uh no wait i saw
what's her name she always wears like fancy cocktail dresses day medina not david i was
gonna say i'll remember it she was like very like mrs mazel no not mrs mazel she exists um uh i went to penn and teller when i was
about 13 or 14 and they brought kids on stage to like throw darts oh really no throw like yeah
basically at a dartboard but they were just fuzzy balls velcro balls were you one of the good yeah
nice and i was uh quite a russian that's why i'm so into magic now
yeah right and like he was uh which one pen is the really tall yeah like he must have been huge
i don't know it was such a blur he was trying to tell me that god doesn't exist
he's like don't recycle it's bullshit yeah
is he recycling he did they did a show maybe was it just him or
both of them uh okay bullshit i don't know that might just be him uh no this was like this was
maybe like the early 2000s and it was like debunking uh you know famous kind of things
that everybody holds to be true and And one of them was that recycling
like they were like, most of your recycling ends up being shipped to some country
and then is put in a landfill.
Oh, shit. I lost my answer on that. Yeah, I think we all are.
Oh, there we go. Okay. I hear it now. Yeah, there's
a, well, didn't they just do a study that like two thirds of plastic recycling just goes to the landfills?
Yeah, yeah.
Like he was right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But I was like, don't tell people.
Not to recycle.
Not to recycle.
Like I feel like.
Don't tell the companies to do their job.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like don't.
Exactly.
We need to get Penn in there to talk to the CEOs of recycling.
The CEOs and show them how to do it.
It's like a little ponytail.
I'm still trying to.
Gilda.
No, not Gilda Radner.
That wasn't Gilda Radner.
Oh.
Yeah.
What do you mean?
Yeah.
Just like very funny kind of comedian from the 80s.
I saw her. Like, my family was on a vacation somewhere.
No, I don't know who you mean.
I will remember her name by the end of the show.
But anyways, she was doing a show, and we could see it from our hotel room.
Like, we didn't buy tickets, but we just went out on the balcony and watched her.
I thought she was so funny.
What do you think will be the first thing that comes up when I Google 80s female comedian?
Oh, I don't know, but I remember her name now.
Okay.
Rita Rudner.
Oh, yeah.
She's the best comedian in Vegas.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And she had, like, she had at the end of her show, she did, like, just, does anybody have any questions?
And it was during when the O.J. Simpson trial was on.
Oh, shit.
And there was a part in the trial where an envelope had been delivered to the judge.
And everybody was wondering, what's in the envelope?
What's the evidence in the envelope?
And somebody asked her, what do you think's in the envelope?
And she said, a pair of Streisand tickets.
And everybody lost their mind.
It's pretty quick.
Yeah.
Well, I don't know if I like this.
The first link that comes up is Ranker.
Oh, yeah.
Ranker's all over those algorithms.
Yeah.
But anyway, according to Ranker, the best female stand-up comedian of the 80s is Gilda Radner.
Don't know her as a stand-up.
No.
So, way to go ranker yeah rita rudner is who you're thinking of ranker yeah yeah ranker ranks
rudner after radner thank you i had a similar i just want to share this joke i had before
before you got here, Nick, uh,
uh, we were looking at the clock.
It was nine o'clock and,
you weren't here yet.
And I said,
uh,
Nick Nemeroff,
you don't want to tick Graham off.
Yeah.
Oh,
shit.
That's pretty good.
Damn.
That's a,
that's a great,
uh,
great headline.
So anyway,
you can use that.
Yeah,
that's good.
Maybe I will.
Yeah.
Piss off Graham just so I can,
you know,
use that later.
You can sit on anyone.
It doesn't have to be Graham. Yeah. Yeah. That's true. That's fair. off graham just so i can you know use that later you can sit on anyone it doesn't have to be graham yeah yeah that's true that's fair um you just need
that double syllable that's all um are you uh uh i asked before and then we got sidetracked
are you traveling around doing stand-up in the states or uh yeah a little bit yeah more than
in the past for sure and was
in denver for a week in portland for a week what's denver like denver is awesome yeah it's like yeah
so uh you know chill there like that classic weed stuff oh yeah yeah i guess it is like a
weed were they the first as far far as I know, yeah.
At least in the States, probably.
But yeah, that's like a huge part of their cultural identity is like they smoke weed a lot.
And like, wasn't like Hunter S. Thompson lived there or lived just outside of there or something like that?
Possibly.
Yeah.
I think Ted Bundy.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Another great clown aficionado.
Was he the clown guy?
I think that's John Wayne Gacy.
Oh, John Wayne Gacy.
That's right.
Yeah.
God, that's so scary.
Mm-hmm.
Clowns are just scary now, right? Yeah.
Hard to think of a pleasant-looking clown that isn't a little bit creepy.
There must have been a time
like where it turned.
But I think people were
I think grown ups were like yeah clowns
are funny and kids were always like no no no.
Yeah.
But it's amazing that
McDonald's stuck with
like the clown
through all of the
highs and lows of, mostly
lows of clowndom.
Is he still going?
I think so. Like I feel like
Ron?
Ronnie?
I was hanging out with Ron McDonald.
One time I was at
a, just like at the airport and they were paging somebody over
the thing and they go Ronald McDonald please come to the front and I was like 12 years old
with a friend and we were just laughing so hard imagining you just you just seen Sinbad it was a very comedic time of your life yeah but like i don't know like when ronald mcdonald was
first on the scene was that were clowns was that good yeah like where kids like yay yay
yay a clown yay a grimace
no one ever
like there was never
any test marketing
for kids until
about 10 years ago
yeah
that's true
you just served up
whatever
but like
always
I like
even as a kid
I found
clowns very
unsettling
like without
anybody
like having to
give you a reason
yeah yeah
like I hadn't seen
was it
the first acknowledgement
of it
oh that's
or was John Wayne Gacy
like
I feel like
it all kind of came
it was like both
in the 80s
yeah
it was like the 80s
decided
yeah
cause still
in the 70s
he had like
Bozo the Clown
stuff like that.
Yeah, there's people, like older people,
who are like talking about their favorite childhood TV clowns.
I think in the 80s, no one bothered putting clowns on TV anymore.
No.
There was, in Canada, there was a French hobo clown
that was on like public access.
And I remember it scared the shit out of me
you remember his name or her name yeah he what was his name i can't remember his name but uh
but he uh as a kid i had we like i was in alberta so nobody spoke french so it was just this guy
speaking a language i couldn't understand.
Oh, I think I...
Yeah, that rings a bell.
Yeah.
And he would talk very slow, I think, so kids could pick up what he was saying.
But it just had the effect of, why is this guy slow and speaking a language?
Hurry up.
Go away.
Yeah.
And he had the painted on beard, and I found that very disconcerting. Yeah. And he had the painted on beard and I found that very disconcerting.
Yeah.
I mean, it would have been worse if he had a not painted on beard and then paint over top of it.
Oh, yeah.
Whoa.
Dave, what's going on?
Oh, boy.
Well, speaking of clowns, a few weeks ago, I took my wife and my daughter to Cirque du Soleil.
Ever been?
Fancy clowns.
French clowns.
I have, I think.
Yeah, when I was like with my parents, I think in maybe Vegas.
Oh, yeah.
And they were like, how old are you?
And you're like, douze.
Yeah.
C'est douze ans.
What was the theme? The theme of it was mexico okay all right and it was
put on by tourism mexico it was uh luzia luzia is the nonsense word they came up this with this time
um so we went and we went to a matinee like four o'clock or something.
And Margo was very excited about it.
That's my daughter.
And that was like the whole point was like, maybe she's old enough to go to this thing that'll cost hundreds of dollars.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Although it is one of the few like entertainment things where they'll sell a seat to a kid for cheaper.
Oh, that's actually
very nice because they are i'm sure also a lot a lot of kids must be there yeah yeah um and they've
got like a big one thing about going to shows or movies or things is like gotta kind of hunt down
where they have the booster seats right so they were like they had a huge pile of them on display. Somebody juggling them. Yeah.
Yeah.
So we went and it was like, it was great.
Everyone was like, there's like, you know, 50 people on stage at the end waving and they all did something.
And like the, whoever, like the strong man earlier had been just like an extra in a different scene. And so like they really use all the people.
Yeah.
You'd have to.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But it does seem like, oh, there's a lot of people on stage.
Most of them aren't doing anything.
Right.
But they must have a role later.
Some of them are like payroll.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They've got HRs out there.
payroll yeah yeah there's got hrs out there um so yeah we went and uh there were two guys behind me that were like
bonding over it but they didn't come together oh there was like a 60 year old guy and his wife
and another like 50 year old guy and his four kids and the uh the 60 year old guy and the 50 year old guy were like
sitting next to each other whoa did you see that like both uh separate from their own families
um and one of the like the the guy who was there with his wife was so excited about it he said
i couldn't sleep last night thinking about the circus so nice yeah sweet and it's like it's like a sweeter version of the circus because
there's no like animal cruelty yeah i mean they they tell you they do it off just so you get
comfortable yeah like just so you know some like we don't see any animals but they were harmed yeah
yeah there's just a slideshow of the different animals well the theme is mexico so they did they abused a lot of street dogs yes um the uh uh because did you go
to the circus when you were a kid i think i i didn't second maybe i just saw it on tv so much
i thought i went but i feel like i've been to the circus yeah what was the circus on tv
like you know in like shows like people will go to the circus. Yeah. When was the circus on TV? Like, you know, in like shows
like people will go
to the circus.
Yeah.
I guess not.
They weren't showing
live circus performance
on TV.
A pay-per-view.
Yeah.
I'm watching
Scrambled Circus right now.
But yeah,
I remember the,
I remember going
to the circus
and even
when I was a kid
I was like,
this is from another time. Yeah, you're like, this is depressing was a kid i was like this is from another time yeah you're
like this is depressing in a way yeah this is like from because it was an animal circus yeah yeah
like the shriner circus and it was like so loud smelled bad smelled bad and it was and it was like
dark in a way that i don't know if that was just to like, so that the animals wouldn't freak out or whatever,
but like the stage would be very dark and,
uh,
and clowns again,
making themselves known.
Um,
but yeah,
it was,
it was weirder to see animals.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I bet.
Yeah.
This was just like,
you know,
the fittest people you've ever seen.
Yeah.
That's what I want to see. Yeah. Somebody yoked. Yeah. I bet. Yeah. This was just like, you know, the fittest people you've ever seen. Yeah. That's what I want to see.
Yeah.
Somebody yoked.
Yeah.
It's gotta be like the Olympic village when they're off set.
Yeah.
Um,
but,
uh,
yeah,
it was very,
so it was put on by tourism,
Mexico.
Yeah.
And it felt like for the amount of how much this was a commercial for going to mexico i felt
like the ticket should have been free like it was really it was a great show like all the stunts
were amazing and uh but like between two stunts they would just have like this kind of interstitial
like where two people are scuba diving on high wires and like you can scuba dive in mexico
yes yeah and like these people came out and did amazing soccer tricks yeah but it was like
mexico loves soccer oh yeah maybe i saw a guy on a breakfast television show that was doing
soccer tricks yeah Yeah, maybe.
Because I remember.
Was he spinning on his back with the ball on his foot? Yeah, yeah.
That was crazy.
Yeah.
This guy was, like, when they said he was going to do soccer tricks,
I got really bummed out because I was like,
That sounds so, yeah, to have as a breakfast morning segment.
Yeah.
A guy come on and sit.
And it's not necessarily a circus thing either.
No, certainly not.
But I guess it's, like, good for them for coming up with a new apparatus yeah because they've got to do a
lot of brainstorming to come up with because there's obviously there's going to be people
who go to it every time so you got to come up with a new yeah you know theme or like it's something
that you know justifies the theme that you're going to put. Yeah.
And like new,
new stunts,
new acrobat.
It can't just be like,
I think forever. It was just like,
okay.
Trapeze.
Yeah.
Highwire.
Yeah.
Lion.
Should we pretend you're almost going to fall off the highwire?
No.
Why would we do that?
I want to be good at it.
I want people to think I'm good at it.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. yeah, yeah.
Is Cirque du Soleil completely supplanted the circus?
No, there must be a circus that goes to Madison Square Garden.
Do the Ringling Brothers, they don't exist anymore? I don't.
At a certain point, it became the ringling brothers and barnum
and bailey oh right so it's like maybe that's what i thought that maybe maybe uh it's like
if the parker brothers and milton bradley got together dare to dream imagine that summit or
if the hardy boys and nancy drew got together they put aside their differences
but they just abused animals together
for a crowd's enjoyment um but uh yeah no it's great uh we'll go again in a few years i'm not
gonna be one of these people who goes every year no it's uh i've only been once and i i like i thought it was fantastic but i was just freaked
out about the performers the whole time because i'm just like you were shrooming yeah and i was
just like uh they're not getting paid enough no that's to put their life on the line on the line
so that i can just be like whoa yeah like this guy gets a stubs his toe he's he's out of work yeah and uh like i think when my
brother was in college or just after he like uh washed dishes for the cirque de soleil while it
was in calgary and uh i know they eat like kings i know that like the food is amazing but i just
i can't wrap my head around
people risking their lives speaking of wrapping your head around you should have seen the
contortionist oh yeah oh boy gross like you're you know with your you see like a really flexible
person you're wondering if they can you know yeah yeah yeah yeah this guy could invent some that was part of the show i mean
it was it was like it was unspoken yeah this guy's doing it doing him to himself
he's like running back yeah he can give himself a cat bath
and so they do it in mexico yeah exactly it's like uh i guess they maybe have a cobra in
mexico because they had he kind of came out of a cobra kind of out of like a snake basket oh yeah
yeah okay well i mean sure okay i uh i don't know what i would want a contortionist to do
come out of a suitcase is what i want oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to see a clown
come out and be like, oh, this suitcase is
too heavy, and then open it up. Hey, I'm
writing a stunt right now. That's good.
The clown stuff was very...
Yeah, it's for kids to yell at the clown,
I think. Like, he's
trying to... You're scary!
There's a big shower
on stage.
The door just came out.
This is what you want.
It's not really a shower.
It's like a,
just like a,
like a straight,
it's like,
I don't know,
20 feet long
and just a sheet of water
that comes down.
Okay.
But it can come down
in little bits.
And like at one point
they're just sending
water designs down
that are in different shapes
and it was super cool.
But then the clown comes out and he's like, oh'm gonna fill my glass over here oh the water's coming
out over there go over there clown okay go over there thirsty the clown yeah plus he was sending
all these he was posting all these thirst trap pictures or my pants coming down a little bit
just we francais
so yeah go to the circus go to the circus it's great um check it out it may be coming to your
town rolling through town on uh you know a wagon thing. How do they travel? Oh boy.
Yeah.
I feel like that's the famous picture of circus.
On like wooden wheels.
Yeah.
Wooden wagon wheels.
Yeah.
Traveling at night so that the townsfolk don't get you.
I don't know.
What's going on with you?
Um, a couple of weeks ago I did a show at a fundraiser for water.
And then Cirque du Soleil just came to town and made a huge water wall.
I was like, oh, man, this is what we're trying to save.
They must recycle it.
I hope so.
Well, they say they do, but they actually don't.
Penn Jillette told me about it
they're like the water here is the gray water from the stadium next door
um yeah i did a uh set at a fundraiser it was crazy like it was only like a like a seven minute
set which is great yeah that's the perfect amount of time to do at a fundraiser.
What was the audience?
Like, what was the entertainment?
Were you the only comedian?
I was the only comedian, but.
A beatboxer came out?
There was a beatboxer who came out.
He was just trying some stuff.
But one of the weirder acts of the show was the guy um do you know les stroud
he's the outdoor man yeah yeah survivor man okay yeah um and i was like what is he gonna do on
stage talk about water yeah or like you know eat a pine cone or something like that.
Like, he would do that kind of stuff, right?
So his show is How to Survive Outside?
In the Wild?
Yeah.
He was like an authentic version of what Bear Grylls kind of pretended to be.
Mid-Hollywood.
Yeah, yeah.
He's not Man Tracker, though, is he?
No, he's not Man Tracker.
He was like like but he
didn't have a camera crew with him like all of the shots were like he'd set up the camera and
then he'd do something so it was just him no camera and he's not the guy who tells people
what they can do better to make their bar better oh no that's uh john taffer yeah but he he sang like a
blues song
Les Stroud
yeah yeah
the survivor man
yeah and then
when they introduced
him they were like
his
his latest album
so he had multiple
albums
wow
and
that Slash
worked on
whoa
yeah
it's
but like
is
is
being a
like do all celebrities just kind of mingle and it's like
you're slash or you're survivor man or your cake boss and you just all travel in the same circle
is les stroud that is he popular enough in america where he could get i mean obviously
he could get slash to work on his album but that's so surprising to hear
yeah I was
gobsmacked
we make a podcast and there's people
who work in the same field as us
who are like
I'm too good to be on your show
Slash should be
like who? Slash
for one. Not Nick Nemiroff
there's people who like
never get back to us who are like coming through town and and we know a hundred people in common
yeah yeah yeah but it's yeah it's it's just like how does you know like a guy who's not known for music. Right. Maybe he helped slash,
uh,
live in the woods for a bit.
This is a possibility that slash was like,
I've,
I've gotten too comfortable.
I want to make a top hat out of bark on that music video channel.
I watch sometimes they have concerts.
Oh yeah.
And I watched the slash concert with his band solo slash.
Well,
his,
his band slash aash? Well his band
Slash's Snake Pit?
I don't know if they're called
Slash's Snake Pit
Well they were
Well one of his
Earlier
His first album
Might have been called
Yeah yeah
I don't know if he still calls it
Slash Sing?
No
Okay
He gets less strapped
To come out
Yeah
Been collaborating
For years
He's got
Paige Davis
from
make
help me make
your room
or whatever
it's called
on bass
if I could have
got the reference
it would have
been good
if I could have
made a band
of reality
Marilyn Dennis
yeah
Marilyn Dennis
everyone from
the social
just
harmonizing
but Slash
is great
he's he's like as a kid I was like oh he's such a like he's just shredding From the social. Just harmonizing. But Slash is great.
He's like, as a kid, I was like, oh, he's such a, like, he's just shredding.
Like, because I played guitar, and he was so good.
I never even tried to do those, like, shredding runs that he does on his guitar. Oh, yeah, he's a magic man.
But, like, other than that, the melodies of his guitar solos are so memorable.
Like, you can sing the, you know, sweet child of mine one or.
Oh yeah, that's true.
Or, um, November rain.
I just remember like my favorite, like thing that slash my favorite slash moment was like him at the MMVAs.
No, or the MVAs? Whatever the MTV one.
And he came out to present an award with Justin Bieber.
And it was just like, oh, Justin Bieber's a kid.
Like you forget and then until you see him next to like a grizzle,
like a road tested, like leather clad. And you're like, oh, Justin Bieber's like a war test road tested uh like leather clad and you're like oh justin bieber's like a little
kid it's just so funny and whoever you know it's just like a grab bag of names like okay
justin bieber and into the hat slash his hat all these names are slash just folded up his name a bunch of things yeah so i less stroud live
yeah you've seen less stroud live i have did he play with a band uh no he just uh he did he
did he played guitar and sang this like bluesy song and that just one song was the car guitar at least
like carved out of a deer carcass or something yeah yeah yeah it was he was busy assembling it
just right up till showtime was the song were the lyrics about being a survivor person in the wild
i think they were about like earth you you know, or something about that.
I have the blues about earth myself.
Oh,
I think we all do.
Um,
and,
uh,
so he,
so I got to see that.
And I also got to have my,
uh,
picture taken with David Suzuki.
Oh,
yeah.
Yeah.
He loves it.
But I feel like when he goes to something like this,
it's like.
He's going to be a king at those kinds of events.
Everybody wants to like have a picture taken with him.
For any non-Canadians listening, David Suzuki is a famous environmentalist.
Yeah.
And he was like.
He's the famous environmentalist.
He was like famous as an environmentalist before that was a thing that you could be.
Totally.
Yeah.
Like he's,
he's been on TV doing his show for like since the seventies or something.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And,
uh,
he still looks great.
And,
uh,
he's very friendly guy.
Uh,
and like very gracious with the number of photos that he had to take that
evening.
Right.
Um,
but, uh, and that was it. I think he was just
there. He didn't get up on stage
and do some harmonica.
It would have been great if it was just like
an environmentalist talent night.
Yeah, that would have been good.
Yeah.
Just like he goes up and does feats of strength just tears a melon in half yeah
um yeah so that's that's what i did i got to see uh wilderness wild man oh yeah you got some blue
wild blue wild man blues oh yeah we got there it It's a Woody Allen documentary? Yeah. Yeah, about him going on like...
Playing clarinet?
Yeah, going on a world tour playing the clarinet.
Have you ever seen it?
No.
I didn't even know he played clarinet.
He, I guess like every...
That's probably the most famous thing about him.
He like does a show in New York every Tuesday or something.
Oh, up until even now.
Yeah.
Wow, wow, wow.
Yeah, and he like...
I can't remember. I don't know if this is like an urban legend or whatever that he won the year that he won the
oscar for annie hall that he was it coincided with his jazz night oh he didn't go he didn't go
oh i see um he's a jazz man yes yeah even though it says wild man blues it's jazz it's jazz dixieland all that kind of
like that's in all of his movies yeah that's what he's trying to do yeah
does he play it in the movies i don't know if he's scored his own movies it's a bit of a yeah
i don't think i think that's the only reason that he makes movies he's just trying to get a score in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good guy.
Yeah, great guy.
Do we want to move on to a little bit of business?
Yeah.
Oh, buddy.
Heya.
This week on the show,
we've got a Jumbotron.
Fun.
Yeah.
I always enjoy the Jumbotrons.
If you want a Jumbotron on our show
Go to MaximumFun.org
Slash Jumbotron
Graham
This is a message
This one is for
David Carl
David Carl?
With a K
How's it going?
And this one is from Alice Rose
Okay
With an R
Yeah
Happy birthday
To a Veterans Day baby
From your ever loving spouse
You are the herald
To my mod
Well off I go
You must have been
A Memorial Day baby
Is that what it was?
Memorial Day
Veterans Day
We call it Remembrance Day
That's right
It's a solemn holiday
Birthday for you
Yeah I hope that you You know what? birthday for you.
Yeah, I hope that you you know what? Head on down to the Legion.
Have a drink.
You earned it.
You earned it. Tell them, you know what?
Birthday babies drink free on
Veterans Day.
Now, this episode
of Stop Podcasting. Well, bye, Graham. I have to go.
Oh, no. Where are you going? I'm going to go
away. Ah, bye, Graham. I have to go. Oh, no. Where are you going? I'm going to go away.
Ah.
That is correct.
We are brought to you by Away.
Oh, hi.
Oh, hi.
It's me.
Who are you?
I don't know yet.
Okay.
Well, while you figure that out, we're going to read this copy.
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Do you know who you are yet?
Yeah, my name's Trip to Come.
And what's your origin story?
Well, Trip is a family name.
Uh-huh.
And T'Kum is named after, oh boy, I guess that's also my family name.
Okay, sure.
So this is just two family names.
First name, last name, yeah.
Yep, first name.
Okay. And my whole deal is that I'm on the run from the police.
Yeah.
And what's your luggage situation?
Oh, I got this great bag that's got a little phone charger in it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Yeah, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Oh, boy.
I'm so off the grid.
I wouldn't want to trouble them.
But you know what?
It's nice to know you could.
I know, but then I feel like I'd get frowned.
Yeah, no, that's true.
You're on the run.
And I'm surprised that you've stayed around this long for this ad.
Yeah.
Just need a rest, I guess.
I guess so, yeah.
My creaky old bones.
You can tell something's wrong with my voice.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You definitely sound like you have a sore throat.
Maybe keep a pack of lozenges in your way back.
It comes and goes.
It comes and goes.
Okay.
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Well, I hope the law doesn't catch up with you.
Why does the siren have a funny voice, too?
Overheard. overheard overheard the segment of which uh if you hear something great out there it's your duty bound to share it and uh we always like to start with the guest oh yeah
nick if we think it's fair it's only fair yeah thank you that's very polite and fair. Yeah. This one is from one of my very first open mics in LA at the Ice House in Pasadena.
Yeah.
And there was like truly 75 plus comedians there just like waiting.
You like put your name in a bucket.
And slash his hat.
And slash his hat.
And see if he picks it and lets you come up and play guitar.
Good comedy night.
Exactly.
And so we are just all sitting there and like, there's one guy who like, I would say really
looked like he wanted to talk to somebody.
Yeah.
And I was like right next to him and like sort of trying not to talk to him.
I was just like, you know, on my phone,
just being kind of an ass,
but,
uh,
someone sat down in between us and he's like,
I'm going to do comedy tonight.
I was on judge Judy.
I truly,
I remember writing that down on my phone and just being like,
that was such a crazy first thing
to hear
out of this guy's mouth
like that's his credit
yeah
yeah
he was so excited
about it too
does Judy
their audience
is only
actors
like you have to be
in the actors union
to be
for real
yeah
oh
I couldn't tell
if he had meant like
or he was like
a plaintiff
or a defendant
if he was a or a character witness yeah if he had meant like, or he was like a plaintiff or defendant.
If he was a character witness.
Yeah.
If he was somebody who won something, he would mention it.
Right.
Oh, yeah.
I won Judge Judy.
Yeah.
I won Judge Judy. I spun the big wheel.
Dave, do you have one?
I do.
This is a very long one.
All right.
But you have nowhere to be right
um so uh last two weeks ago we went to new york and as we were waiting we flew through calgary
whoo thank you i took a picture of spelumbo's sandwich shop
but while we were waiting for our flight, there was an old man.
No, not old.
A man in his 70s, but he had a very old.
It's a young man.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, when I was a kid, that was the oldest kind of man.
Yeah.
He had a very old man way about him because he was lying down across like four seats.
Oh, God.
With his eyes closed, not like paying attention to the world
with his wife sitting on her phone uh and he's just calling out to her to do stuff and she is
so over it yeah uh and so he says can you see if the post office is open that day usps
and his wife says i don't like to open another page because then I lose the page I'm on.
And then he says, is our flight on the board yet?
I can't exactly see the board.
And then she's saying they're doing something on November 11th.
But that's a holiday.
And he says, that's the soldier holiday.
Yeah.
But are the schools open or not?
I don't know if the schools are open or care.
And then he says, when they get to wherever they're going, New York, I guess.
What time do we have to
take the train 10 or 8 or something and she says what are you talking about henry i don't know
um and then he calls out when we get on i'll take the rolling bag you get the other one
and she just rolls her eyes she She just ignores him this time.
And then she says,
he,
you know,
we should probably go to the bathroom
before we get on the plane.
There's one over there.
And he gets up and says,
over here?
Just look!
Oh.
He's become very dependent on her
for all things.
This does definitely remind me of my parents,
I would say, also.
It feels very out of
a conversation with them.
They were my favorite.
Yeah.
And it's like,
I just don't,
like, is that just
what happens over time?
Is that just,
it ends up how you
talk to your...
Well, like, I mean,
you just have to,
I think you just have to,
I mean, maybe it does
and maybe i will be that way soon but i think once the you get the first curt answer you're just like
okay i'm on my own here yeah yeah yeah i'll figure i'll go look at the board myself i'm bothering her
i think my favorite part of that was if i change the page then i lose the page I'm looking at is a very old person thing.
Yes.
Well, this will be gone forever.
Yeah.
If I look up another page, then I can't go back.
There's no other tab I could open.
Do you have one?
Yours reminded me of one that I overheard between an even older couple. Oh, boy.
And it was in, I got off the elevator. I was in a hotel, in i got off the elevator i was in a hotel
and i got off the elevator at the same time as them and i let them go first huge mistake
because they were going down the hall the same way i was going and they were taking forever
and they were walking side by side so i couldn't get around them so it's just like well i'm in for
whatever conversation they're having listen to these two turtles talk to each other.
And,
uh,
the,
uh,
uh,
the wife,
I assume they're married.
Maybe they were just hooking up.
Where was this?
This was in Victoria.
Yeah.
What happened?
Yeah.
Exactly.
It's in Victoria.
Um,
uh, the wife said said should we get should we get housekeeping to give us more
towels because there's a housekeeping cart up ahead like miles ahead but why not talk about
it now on our way there um and he said uh yeah i think we should get breakfast in the morning. So totally did not.
Like a fat guy in a movie.
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
And then just her response was,
that's not what I asked at all.
Can we get more towels?
Yeah, I think we should get breakfast in the morning.
When else would we get breakfast? I guess they have all day breakfast um anyways they were
adorable yeah yeah i do like the planning ahead for the towels at the very end of the hall and
also in his mind planning ahead for breakfast the next day well like my old couple the guy was like
okay when we get on the plane you take take the rolling luggage, I'll take the...
So, like, you don't need to...
You can just hand it off when you stand up.
You're not going to stand up and go straight onto the plane.
A lot of people wish they could, but you know what?
There's lineups.
You got to stand in the right line.
Sounds like maybe that original couple also had
issues before traveling together.
So they're like getting it ahead.
I think they maybe had issues for 50 years.
Yeah, that's also what it sounds like.
Do we have anything else?
Is the show over? No! Let's take the rest of the day
off.
We also have overheard sent in from
listeners. If you want to send one
into us, you can send it in to spy
at maximumfun.org.
This first one comes from
Sean in New York.
This is some graffiti he saw.
Probably on the Joker stairs.
R.I.P. Martin.
He died as he lived
with a falafel in his hand.
Yeah. It's nice. It it is nice wouldn't mind that on my headstone i mean i don't know that it would be a falafel but you know whatever whatever he was
just holding one little falafel patty or probably a gyro yeah oh yeah a shawarma yeah um a pita
and i mean i guess the falafel can substitute for the whole thing yeah it's synecdoche
um synecdoche isn't that what that word means i love i love the sound of that word it's when like
uh a whole apart substitutes for the whole thing oh also in a suit oh yeah okay hey i had heard
that word before but i never knew what it meant until now.
I think that's right.
No, I think that's right.
It's a higher up high school English word.
Totally.
You know, it's like, I'll see a word that I don't know, I'll look it up, and then immediately
forget what that word means.
I'm like that with names.
I'm pretty sure I've looked up
that word before
and it did not absorb
what it...
Did you ever see
Synecdoche, New York?
I did.
Did it mean anything?
Yeah, I guess,
I guess it does.
I guess it makes sense
because he's like
putting on a play
of his life
and he's building
a life-size set
of New York.
It's a crazy movie. Let's York. It's a crazy movie.
Let's just say it's a crazy movie.
Yeah, okay.
I'd watch it again.
Yeah, I never saw it.
Charlie Kaufman?
Charlie Kaufman.
Damn.
Philip Seymour Hoffman.
Hmm.
Was there a third rhyming last name?
Felicity Huffman.
Close.
Yeah.
When close.
This next one comes from Ben from Los Angeles.
Coming at you with an overheard.
Oh, thanks.
Of the customer-employee variety.
I work on the sales floor at a clothing store, and I was listening to my co-worker introduce himself to a customer.
After answering the customer's question about
a product, he introduced himself as
Philip and she said, ah,
like the screwdriver. I like
that.
Pretty useful screwdriver. Yeah.
Is it the crisscross? Yeah.
Damn. So it's the
only one that has a name, screwdriver-wise?
I mean, you got your flathead.
Slot. Yeah. Square one. Square guy. Bigger screwdriver. Yeah, only one that has a name screwdriver wise i mean you got your flathead slot yeah the square one
square guy bigger screwdriver yeah bigger a little smaller did you when when you were a kid did you
ever like help a dad or older man with something and they asked you to get a tool and you were
like uh i think so and then i would just like bring like an assortment and just be like,
it's gotta be one of yours.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Cause I remember like,
I was like,
help me.
My grandfather,
maybe it was my dad and he asked for a socket wrench and I was like,
Oh boy,
I can find that for you now.
It's the one that goes like,
got a ratchet. Uh, I don't know. It's a. It's the one that goes like. Is that a ratchet?
I don't know.
It's a socket wrench.
That's all I know.
It's like a thing goes over the bolt and then it makes that sound.
Okay.
So in the future, I would just, if I was having a kid help me fix something, I'd be like, get me this one.
To spare the kid the embarrassment.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Socket wrench. How was i supposed to know
you don't even know what a socket is no exactly i was learning i was just learning the alphabet
at the time did you ever learn it uh you know up to a point i feel like the last half you can
just wing it yeah element of yeah yeah y yada, yada, yada.
This last one comes from Annie in Ottawa.
I was at the grocery store when I walked by a kid and his dad.
They were standing in front of the deli meat section.
The kid, who was about eight years old, pointing at the Lunchables, says to his dad,
Take it down.
I just want to read the ingredients.
I can't imagine that those ingredients are encouraging either in the lunchables yeah do they have to have different like uh like different
columns for each chemical lunchable but like do they have to have the crackers are made of this, this, this, and this? Yeah. The ham is ham.
But I bet you the ham is also a lot of other things.
Yeah.
It's just like a perfect circle of ham.
Yeah.
There's got to be some sort of chemical that makes that circle.
Circulates it.
Makes it all circular.
Yeah.
Some kind of bologna fire. Roundium. Yeah. Some kind of baloney fire. Roundium.
Some kind of socket wrench.
Talking about tools
and a perfect circle.
It's a real industrial
music day or whatever.
I don't know what you would call it.
Hey, how's it going? In addition to overheards
that are written in, we also accept your phone calls.
If you want to call us, our phone number is 1-844-779-7631.
That's one.
Ugh.
SpyPod 1.
Like these people have.
Oh, and stick around for the after show.
Yeah.
You can hear more of what's going on at stuffhuggetyourself.com
well yeah we'll find out
what really makes this
sick fuck tick
laughter
alright
hello Dave and Roman guests this is Alan calling you
from Boston I am walking home
so that's why I'm out of breath sorry about that
and the skateboarder just heard
cool and I just heard a couple of college kids on this train say talking to each other i feel
like this is a safe space for me to ask this question what is brisket
uh yeah i couldn't answer it is it some kind of yeah i was gonna go beef yeah and it's like
i know it tastes good is it bread or is it i thought it's like shred shredded no i know
shredded i feel like you get a cut of it oh yeah i guess i've had shredded brisket and i just
assume that was how everyone eats it
all the time.
It's barbecued.
Is it at a lot
of barbecue restaurants?
Yeah, that's right.
Well, you get
like a strip of it.
Yeah, a slice.
Slice.
Do they rub it?
Is it rubbed?
I don't know.
I feel like
this is a safe space.
But you know what?
We're not going to.
We're not going to
look it up.
Do you eat meat?
Yeah.
We should know.
Yeah.
Sometimes when I'm helping my grandfather at the barbecue, he'll be like, bring me the brisket.
I'll be like, uh.
Bring him a socket wrench.
I'll bring him a Lunchable.
Here you go.
Here's your next phone call.
Hi.
I'm David Graham and possible guest.
My name is Erin.
I'm calling from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, within overseen.
I'm in a little neighborhood of Pittsburgh called Sharpsburg, and I just walked by a gym here that's called Glory Bound.
And it seems like it's a religious gym.
And it seems like it's a religious gym.
And the picture they have is of Jesus lifting a big cross on his back.
He did.
And it says, his pain is your gain.
I don't know.
I think that's kind of hilarious.
Wow.
It's the, I mean, his pain is your gain throughout the religion whether you work out or not no but yeah i've never seen uh uh like a religious physical motivation poster right yeah you know
i feel like they should have jesus bench pressing the cross yeah yeah i mean it's a good apparatus
you could do a lot of things with like you lose can lose a lot of your body resistance. And like a lot of paintings of Jesus.
He shredded.
He shredded.
Yeah.
He is absolutely like shredded like a brisket.
Like shredded like a brisket may or may not be.
But yeah,
like is he the,
the,
is Jesus the most yoked figure of the Bible?
Oh, or religious figure at all.
Oh, religious figure at all.
Definitely more than Buddha.
Yeah, definitely more than Buddha.
I'm not supposed to draw what I think Muhammad looks like.
That's true.
What about Moses?
Is Moses, was he a?
It's hard to tell.
Moses seems so old to be more jacked
than Jesus
yeah we think that now
like but
back in the day
back in the day
yeah we
looking back
he seemed so old
when we were kids
he was
he was 35
it's like when they
they
someone posted a picture
of what all the
how old all the
traveling Wilburys were
oh yeah
and like one of them was 50.
That's crazy.
Tom Petty was 38.
Wow.
Oh, man.
Here's your final overheard.
How about a Tom Petty, Jim?
Hello, Dave Graham and gorgeous guest.
This is Anne from Rochester, New York.
and gorgeous guest.
This is Anne from Rochester, New York.
So I was at a tabletop game store where I overheard a group of people
introducing their Dungeons & Dragons characters.
One of the people at the table finished
describing what her character looked like
and finished it off with,
and she's got a huge muffin top.
And so there was this beat of awkward silence until one of the other people at the table
who was playing Dungeons and Dragons with the first person asked,
what do you think a muffin top is?
And the first player responded, like, completely obliviously and innocently
that, well, it means that she's just got really big boobs.
Anyways, I hope you enjoy the rest of the episode. Bye.
Oh, me too. me too thanks for that
I thought that she was going to say
that it was some kind of haircut
oh yeah
muffin top
it's the skin pouring out of
too tight pants
it's adorable
whenever I see it out in the wild
I'm like
I like it out in the wild, I'm like, oh, I don't, I like it.
And keep going.
That's what I say.
Fictional or real.
And also I'd be open to muffin boobs.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm open to it all.
Yeah.
All sorts of baked body products.
Yeah.
Mostly muffin.
Yeah.
Croissant.
Yeah. Scone. Yeah. Yeah yeah scone style body yeah bagel
butt yeah there's i think bagel butt is i mean eventually if you look far enough into a butt
as a bagel bagel If you look... That's Nick's classic sign-off.
Remember, folks, if you look far enough into a butt,
that caller wished us we would enjoy the rest of the episode.
I am.
Yeah.
That's so nice.
Yeah, this has been a lot of fun.
Nick, that brings us to the end of the episode.
What would you like to plug?
You have a taping coming up?
Yeah.
I've got an album taping in Toronto,
December 9th and 10th at the Ossington.
Get tickets at nicknemeroff.eventbrite.com.
I was trying to get that website.
I've been sitting on it for years,
just waiting to make an event.
And then,
yeah,
if you follow me on Instagram or Twitter at nicknemero event. And then, yeah, if you follow me
on Instagram or Twitter
at Nick Nemiroff.
And thank you so much
for being our guest.
It was a lot of fun.
Thank you for having me.
It was a great time.
Thank you for getting up
so early in the morning.
I love it.
I have so much
free time now.
Yeah, this is insane.
That's true.
Like, you don't have to, like,
crunch your whole day
into an afternoon.
Yeah.
You can, like, you can take a, you don't have to, like, crunch your whole day into an afternoon. Yeah. You can, like,
you can take a,
you could go
to that Jesus gym
that we talked about earlier.
Strange stop by Pittsburgh
for a bit.
Yeah.
Do you have anything?
Oh, I don't think
I probably do.
Happy Remembrance Day
to all of us.
Yes.
I also second that.
Yeah.
Enjoy the stat holiday.
This episode won't come out probably until the afternoon.
So that moment of silence has passed.
But, you know, have another moment of silence.
Yeah.
On us.
You know, if you live near a Legion, go buy a Vantam beer.
Yeah.
If you got the time.
Why not?
Yeah.
if you got the time.
Why not?
Yeah.
And coming up on November 29th and 30th, I will be doing 24 hours of stand-up comedy
at the Havana Theater.
Beautiful.
To coincide with Pat Thornton doing the same in Toronto.
Right.
That's amazing, yeah.
And the tickets...
That will be amazing.
It'll be weird.
You know, For part of it
I might sit on a stool
Yeah I don't blame you
I hope so
Have you done
What's the longest
You've ever been awake
Oh awake
Oh I've done
I think I've done 48
No problem
Lately
Yeah like within the last year
I've done it.
It's not pleasant.
No, you can do it.
Around hour 20, you get a little punchy.
Are you going to time it so you wake up right before you hit the stage?
Yeah, as much as I can.
I'm going to try and not have anything to do that day.
So I can just have a nap up until an hour before.
And then just charge onto that stage.
And do everybody I've ever seen's jokes.
Oh, also, when is the Chris Locke thing?
Oh, November 14th, this week, this Thursday.
Chris Locke in town at the Havana Theater as well.
That's just, that's not going to be 24 hours.
No, just probably, probably an going to be 24 hours. No. Just probably an
hour would be my guess.
An hour about the show 24.
Yes. The show 24.
Yeah.
Well, thank you
everybody for listening. If you
like the show, why not leave a review on iTunes
or tell your friends and come
on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself.
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