Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 611 - Kerri Donaldson
Episode Date: December 2, 2019Improviser Kerri Donaldson joins us to talk bangs, nice border guards, and movie props....
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Hi, he's Dave Shumka.
And he's Graham Clark.
And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself.
Woo!
Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 611 of Stop Podcasting Yourself.
My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who I believe has installed a brand new bulletin board here in the studio, Mr. Dave Shumka.
Yeah, I miss the old bulletin board. It was too big.
It was too big.
It was too big to go in between the panels, the sound absorbing panels.
It looks good.
Yeah, it looks good.
It's unnecessary.
These are all things that I put on my bulletin board eight years ago at the old studio.
But it's a fun, you know, it adds a bit of eclectic charm to the room.
Yeah.
And if we ever needed any bulletins, like, you know.
Wanted.
Yeah, or, you know, your mother doesn't work here.
Do your own dishes.
Oh, yeah.
No microwaving fish.
Our guest today.
Uh-huh.
First time guest to the podcast.
Comedian.
One half of brunch.
And so much more.
It's Carrie Donaldson. Yay. It's me. Hello. Thank you for having me. Who's the other half of brunch. And so much more. It's Carrie Donaldson.
Yay.
It's me.
Hello.
Thank you for having me.
Who's the other half of brunch?
Allie.
Okay.
Allie.
Past guest Allie Unwhistle.
Allie Unwhistle.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's true.
Mm-hmm.
Thunderfingers.
Oh, Thunderfingers.
Oh, that's sticking for sure.
Do we want to get to know us?
Yeah.
The bass player for The Who was John Entwistle.
Yes.
And he was Thunderfingers.
Oh, is that what it is?
Yeah.
Okay.
I didn't know that because Allie would not shut up about how John Entwistle was.
Are they related?
No.
Okay.
But that's her opening line for that.
And her brother's name is John.
Oh, fun.
So therein lies the joke.
And she's going to love that she made it onto this podcast, like right away.
Yeah.
She loves it.
I love that.
Oh, she's addicted to it.
Yeah, she's feeding off of it.
I mean, we can cut this part out.
Thank you.
Yes, I would like to cut this out.
Before we get going on Carrie, I just want to, uh, last week's episode hasn't come
out yet, but we were talking a lot about Killian Murphy and the other actor who I always associate
with him.
It was Jonathan Rhys-Myers.
Ah, yes.
Yes.
So thanks to everyone.
You all nailed it.
I'm sure I got a million tweets about it.
Dave, you're thinking of Jonathan Rhys-Myers.
I got a million tweets about it.
Dave, you're thinking of Jonathan Rhys-Meyers.
He was, is Jonathan Rhys-Meyers in the Woody Allen movie where he kills somebody?
I don't know.
I'm pretty sure it's him.
He is in a Woody Allen movie.
Okay.
Yes. But he played young Elvis.
He was the one who played.
He did.
Ah, okay.
Okay.
All right.
Well, I'm glad we got to the.
And he was in the Tudors.
The Tudors. Which is like. Oh, the Tudors. I'm glad we got to the. And he was in the tutors. The tutors.
Which is like.
Oh, the tutors.
I thought you said tutors.
Well, it is.
They would, in England, they would pronounce it tutors.
Is it Killian?
We're sure that it's Killian and not Cillian.
No, we're not sure.
Not Cillian.
But it was Killian.
Killian's a Peaky Blinder.
Right.
And Jonathan Rhys-Myers is a tutor.
Or a tutor.
I wanted to do a tweet that was, you know, the greater than, less than symbol.
That Cillian Murphy is greater than Cilly Ann Murray.
And I thought that was a good tweet.
But I never got around to it.
Yeah.
Or better than Killy Ann Murray.
Yeah, that's true.
It is better than Killing Ann Murray.
There was a...
Because there was like...
The Edinburgh Fringe Festival every year someone posts the or like
publishes a list of the best jokes yes and there was one that made i think it was kevin bann this
is like where the references were going there was one joke that made kevin banner so mad yeah
and it was why were there bite marks marks in Henry VIII's wife or something?
And the answer was, because he's Tudor.
But if you pronounce it with the British pronunciation, because he's Tudor.
Yikes.
Yikes.
Yikes.
So, Carrie, let's get to know you.
Okay.
You're one half of a hilarious sketch duo. Yikes. Yikes. Yeah, yeah. So, Carrie, let's get to know you. Okay.
You're one half of a hilarious sketch duo.
That's true.
Do you have a show coming up soon?
Yes, we have a show tomorrow.
Oh, but this comes out, I'm afraid this comes out December 2nd.
Oh, I don't think we have a show.
You guys are busy with the Christmas rush.
It's Christmas town all the way through to December. We go hard on christmas you know a december 2nd do you know whose birthday
it is britney spears wow i think you say cillian murphy yeah okay bs maybe is it really britney
yeah yeah happy birthday yeah yeah you celebrate i do yeah yeah first My Loneliness is killing me but then My Loneliness
ain't killing me no more
right which isn't
yeah
and then
Toxic
followed quickly
by a jaunty rendition
of Toxic
Toxic was
her on an airplane
yeah well I mean
that was the video
I mean
no I think she recorded
it on an airplane
that is accurate
recorded through
one of the
announcement things.
They really had to master that.
What was your favorite Britney Spears video?
Let's dig right down into the firmament.
We're getting into it.
What is my favorite?
First of all, are you a Britney Spears?
Were you a Britney Spears fan at any point?
Of course, yeah.
Really?
Ongoing.
I still watch her voyeuristically on Instagram.
I don't know if you guys follow her, but it is interesting.
What's going on?
She's having fun.
You know, she's doing her thing.
She's still with Kevin Federline?
She is not.
She's still with Justin Dibberle?
She is not.
No, she's with the...
Is her...
Ah, boy.
Does her family still, like, control her...
Oh, it's complicated.
There's that free Britney, and we don't know the ins and outs of that, but she's doing good.
She's painting.
She does a lot of just kind of like dances frantically on Instagram.
Okay.
She's having fun doing it and I'm happy that she's found her bliss.
But ultimately, because she's currently taking a break
from recording and stuff.
Yeah.
She's like taking a hiatus.
For the last decade.
Which I fully support.
Yeah.
Arguably for a while now.
But she's formally said this.
What was her last hit?
Wow.
Work Bitch?
Oh, probably.
You got a work bitch.
You want a hot body?
You want a hot body?
You want a boo-goody?
Oh.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
There it is.
Was that the sound of a goal?
That was the sound when the Kinect score a goal.
Your phone.
Because of the foghorn.
I love hockey.
Hockey. Canada sport.
I don't have any fun phone notifications.
What notifications do you get? Texts? I don't have any fun phone you know notification specific notifications
what notifications
do you get?
texts
yeah
I get
texts
I get
for some reason
Apple has somehow
got
and been like
here are some articles
you want to read
oh yeah
I don't remember
subscribing to that
me neither
very aggressive
I get
every time I'm near
Starbucks
it pings on my
phone i don't know what happened seriously i think i have a starbucks card in the ether that i signed
up for do you get a zillion of those a day yes oh wow guess what they're everywhere it's like it is
constant so it's now just part of my like phone's background it's just the starbucks
kind of notification and i'm just like yeah You just have a stack of them. Right? They're just piling up.
And I don't even go to Starbucks.
Yeah, that's right.
Okay.
There you go.
You said it.
Enough stalling.
What's your favorite?
Oh, right.
Yes, quit stalling.
I guess I want to say
it's probably,
oh,
I really love
Oops, I Did It Again.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's a classic to me.
Like that was,
that was Britney bitch,
you know,
like when that came out,
I was,
I was young and I was like,
okay,
here we go.
What grade does this put you in?
Hey,
donate.
How dare you?
And let's say a conservative grade.
Six,
probably.
Conservative.
You know,
Alberta.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Right.
So I was in elementary school,
just about to go
into junior high.
That was,
that's when
Britney's being channeled
right into the center
of your brain.
Yes.
Oh boy, yeah.
And for me,
that came out
when I was in maybe
second year university.
I was about 20
and that was when
Britney was being channeled
directly into my groin.
Dave! Well well I mean
there's
the two audiences
hey
I mean
that's
I always forget
that you went to
horny U
you got in
I mean
it was a safety school
yeah
I got a scholarship
oh
but yeah I really I loved her yeah oh yeah but like what was not to love I got a scholarship.
But yeah, I really, I loved her.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
What was not to love? I mean, yeah.
Yeah.
Who didn't love her?
I think I even gave Pepsi a try because she was.
Good for you.
Because she was on board with Pepsi.
What was your favorite, song or video?
Were we going song?
I was thinking video wisewise, I think, was crazy.
Because it had Melissa Joan Hart and Adrian Grenier.
Oh.
But you didn't know who he was yet.
No, but I knew he was going to be huge.
He was going to play a guy who could have been a movie star.
That's right.
What about you? wise yeah i mean
what's the one i'm a slave for you or she's so sweaty oh it's so hot yeah and song wise i don't
think much beats toxic although the first one was the first one uh what was the first one like her
very yeah my loneliness is killing me whatever that's called oh yeah
yeah it took me a while singing in my head but uh yeah that's about it doesn't get much better
than that does it heck no so i well i'm glad that she's she's just enjoying she's earned it
she's yeah that's what i mean like she can do Whatever she wants Yeah She's Britney Yeah I mean Like I don't
I don't
Madonna always comes back
Every few years
Reinventing herself
Yeah
Like I guess
If that's what you want to do
But it's also fine
To just retire at 30
Yeah
Right
Yeah if you socked away
Your Britney money
And
You know
What are your costs
As a Britney Right what are you paying for
here yeah you've got you know you've got your kids caden and grayden snake snake food
that snake is outliving us all um oh boy kevin fetterline's
kevin fetterline whole deal is probably being funded yeah but i true. I mean, come on. How expensive can it be?
He eats a lot of pepperoni sticks.
He's crushing a lot of Powerade.
He could clean out a gas station in one go.
You tell him you have five minutes in there, Kev.
Don't go crazy.
Do you remember any of his music?
Oh, please.
All the hits.
Popo Zao.
Popo Zao.
And the other one that he did Live at the
Maybe the MTV Video Awards
Oh no
Garage full of
Whips
Closet full of
Kicks
Why do you keep
Your whips in the garage
They're
So cold out there
You're gonna ruin them
The elasticity of them
The snapback
Yeah I remember
Kevin Federline.
He found out that he was getting divorced from Britney Spears live on Much Music, I think.
Oh, I don't remember that.
Did they like pan to his face?
Yeah, like the reporter knew the news and asked him for a comment on it.
And he did not know.
What did he say?
Wow, man, that's heavy.
Yeah, something like that.
He said, ouchie.
Got to move those whips out of the garage.
Yes.
I hope I can still live in there.
And he did.
So, you love Britney.
Yeah.
You're from Alberta.
These are all accurate.
You're from Calgary?
Calgary.
Okay.
Our Calgary question.
Where did you go to high school?
Yeah.
Oh.
That's always the go-to.
Kid, do you want me to guess?
Sure.
Because I know a few of them.
Do you?
Okay.
He does.
Western.
No.
No, you didn't go to Western.
No, come on, Dave.
It's not Beaverbrook.
It's Bishop Grandin.
Yeah, that was was gonna be my guess
No
No
E.B. Scarlett?
No
Boy
Okay
I'll give you a hint
It was
I don't
I won't know anymore
No okay
Graham will
I might
Yeah
It's Catholic
St. Mary's?
Close
Okay
If you didn't go to St. Mary's
You went to
Go Browns
Is it St. Boniface no no saint
mike's no now i think you're just naming saints i think at this point i don't think there's a saint
mike but i love it oh yeah no but you call it same oh sorry yeah yeah uh boy uh that's fine
yeah jesus saint jesus yeah you knew it well You knew we were going to. Well, what's, I think you may be our first.
Here we go.
Saint Francis of Assisi.
Oh, big.
Yeah, big deal.
Big one.
Yeah, Saint Francis.
Was that?
Did you know that?
Have you heard of this school?
Yes.
Okay.
Yeah, Saint Francis.
I'm checking my school.
Was in the north?
No.
I think it was.
Yeah.
I just remember that I had to take two buses to get there because I lived very far away from it.
This is a two city bus ride?
Yes.
Like a transit bus until I finally drove it.
It would be weird if it was a two school bus where they're like, this is as far as we can take it.
Yeah.
I was like, they just ran out of gas every time.
Well, I guess a new school goes up on our Calgary High School board.
Wow, school board.
Catholic school.
My cousin went.
I think my cousin.
No, she went to St. Ann's.
When you went to Catholic school, were you like, oh, this is kind of just like the Hit Me Baby One More Time video.
I went there because it was.
Thank you.
And every day I would break out and dance in the gymnasium to the delight of everyone.
Yeah.
That's the dream.
That is the dream, isn't it?
I remember getting a gym strip for that and trying to get the same outfit as Britney Spears.
And it was near impossible.
What was her outfit?
She had these like track pants. It was her sporty look. And a yellow top. And that yellow top. And it was near impossible. What was her outfit? She had these like track pants.
It was her sporty look.
And a yellow top.
And that yellow top.
And I was like, oh yeah.
And guess what Zellers doesn't have?
Any of that.
All of the above.
Every component.
Every aspect of it.
Also, if you showed up to gym class, would your teacher not be like, put on shorts and
a Heather Gray t-shirt right now?
Yeah.
Or sit this out.
Yeah, I wish.
Yeah, it was, I remember, I think I've told this story before when I got my gym strip and then I painted, I found a spray paint can.
No.
And I spray painted number one on the back.
Oh, bold.
Yeah, it was, I got into a lot of trouble for using school spray paint.
And also it cracked like almost almost instantly before it dried.
Did you do this while you were wearing it?
Yeah, yeah.
I got my friend to paint number one on my back.
And it stuck to my back, and he had to pull it off.
And then the one cracked.
Anyways, that was my gym strip for the rest of the year.
They would not give me another one.
Wow.
So you had to slip in that.
Yeah.
Cracked one. This was provided gym strip. You didn't go to Zeller's for this.
No. I guess we had gym strip at the school store. Yeah, well like we. You had
to get the Kitsilano shorts. Yeah, you had to buy the
whatever. The blue shorts, gray t-shirt.
Do you want, it didn't say property of Lord Beaverbrook on
it? The way that like when you buy a, you know, a pro sports property of the New England Patriots.
And like the guy buying this is fantasizing.
Oh, people are going to see me in this and think I like stole it and outran the whole team as they were trying to tackle me.
Come back here with our shirt.
Did you have to assemble your own gym strip?
We assemble.
Top and bottom?
Yeah, every component of it.
Half of it, I remember half of the time I did,
and then they implemented a gym strip.
Well, because it was a Catholic school, I think, uniform.
Did you have a uniform?
We didn't have a full uniform.
We weren't like that full on Catholic.
I think the sacraments don't say anything about plaid skirts.
That wasn't a big part of the deal.
But they wanted to.
Every year they were like debating whether they should have uniforms and stuff like that.
But alas, we did not.
But there was a at one point we implemented a cheerleading squad, which was controversial because it was a Catholic school.
So it's like, you can't have cheerleaders.
But there's cheerleaders in the Bible.
But they were called, I think they were called something like the spirit.
I want to say lifters, but that can't be right.
Something like this, the spiriters or something.
So they're trying to align it.
And I was like, okay, nice try.
And then there was controversy because they got their uniforms and it was pants and a shirt because that was the agreed upon uniform.
But they had the word spirit on the butt.
And that's where things got interesting and also fell apart.
Oh, did the butts fell apart?
It disappeared that year.
Really?
And the butts fell apart.
Wow.
Yeah. They soon dissipated apart. Wow. Yeah, they soon dissipated quickly.
Wow.
Yeah, so on certain levels, they were not.
So were there sports that you were cheering?
Were you on the cheerleaders?
I was not.
I don't want to talk about it.
You weren't part of the spirit lifters.
Were there sports that the cheerleaders cheered at or they're just cheer events?
They cheered at, basically, if I can recall,
because I didn't really
go to a lot of things.
I was in art.
Like,
I stayed in that room.
But they didn't cheer
at your plays?
No,
they didn't.
They tried to,
but they just
brought down the room
and a lot of them,
the melodramas.
They went to the,
we had a really
good football team.
Okay.
They were known
for our football. So this was a co-ed school? Yes, yes. to the, we had a really good football team. Okay. We're known for our football.
So this was a co-ed school.
Yes.
Yes.
So guys, yeah.
Yeah.
Guys and dolls.
Guys and dolls.
Mm-hmm.
24-7.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
And it was fun.
But you were an art kid.
Yes.
So I did.
Theater kid or just art kid?
Uh, I had done a little bit of theater.
I had done some very interesting improv when i was in school it was very interesting
because i'm also french immersion so you had to do it in french too so i don't i consider those like
you could improvise in french i could i mean that's where you do a lot of physical comedy
because you your french is not you're just struggling with the language so you're just
like well i'm just gonna revert to some like heavy just career face game yeah i'm just gonna react big uh which has always served me well um that's a skill i still use to this day
uh but i mostly hid away in the art room so i was a yeah visual artist thank you yes do you
do you are you do you still no no i don't i don't. And I was like fully into art and I was like, maybe art will be my life.
And then afterwards I was like, nah.
Nah.
Nah.
Just this French improv.
Just French.
Yeah, this is the thing.
All chips in that bet for sure.
And what prompted the move from Calgary to Vancouver?
Ah, I made a lot of mistakes.
I can't go back.
You know, when you live in one city that you're born in, well, actually, technically I was born in New West.
So I was actually born here.
Just want to make that clear in case anyone fact checks this.
But I lived there all my life.
And then I just kind of was like, you know what?
I don't want to just
Stay in one place
For my entire life
So
Grass is growing under your feet
Right
I was getting that itch
And everyone that lives in Calgary
Kind of eventually moves to Vancouver
It's kind of a thing
And also I was starting
I was getting into
More improv
Comedy
And acting
So
Did you go to Loose Moose?
I went
But not actively.
I actually,
um,
joined the kinkanauts,
which is kind of like a,
a more independent,
uh,
improv group that was kind of starting out based out of a kinkos.
Exactly.
We had to flip copies and edit scenes.
It was,
we ran a healthy business though.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Um,
so you were like Vancouver is it Vancouver is it for the improv scene.
I'm heading out to the coast.
Absolutely.
And actually I had gone to, there's a festival that takes place in Edmonton, an improv festival.
Improvaganza.
Improvaganza.
Improvaganza.
And I had seen the Sunday Service who were from Vancouver.
And I was just like, holy shit, this is, these guys are doing something. And so when I found out
they were from Vancouver, I was like, me please.
Jack, please.
I'll have what she said. Absolutely.
And then I reacted big with my face.
Wow. I've never seen anyone
do improv in English.
These guys are like,
they're on to something.
Zoot alors. Yeah. Sacre blood. Oh, I can't say that in Catholic school. No way. Why don't you do it? this guy's here like they're on to something yeah yeah
sacro blood
oh I can't say that
in Catholic school
no way
you should do it
and you moved out here
you also have
a twin sister
that moved out here
as well
yes she followed me
she followed you
you led the charge
she's after me
identical?
we're fraternal
but we do look alike
so if you ever see.
It is funky.
That is pretty funky.
It is funky.
People often say funky or creepy.
Actually, more creepy than anything.
Oh.
Yeah.
But funky's cool.
I think funky is.
I appreciate funky.
That is a nicer creepy.
Yeah.
Funky's the new creepy.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's a new radio hit.
Funky.
So she's here too, and she has bangs.
So if you see
me with bangs
then
hold on a minute
and is that nice
for you to be able
yeah
oh yeah
I want bangs
that's a problem
because I know
that if I go that route
how do I get to bangs
yeah
like one night
too much wine
and a pair of scissors
why do you
well you hear people
you hear women
sorry
women
what are they on about
you people
talking about I want bangs like what how long does it take to get from where you are you hear women, sorry, sorry. What are they on about? You people, um,
talking about,
I want bangs.
Like what,
how long does it take to get from where you are to bangs?
Oh boy.
It's just,
it's a fine line.
I'll tell you.
I mean,
which is more,
bangs are just flat bangs.
I mean,
there's,
there's a variety of bangs.
There's curtain bangs.
There's micro bangs.
There's your straight across bangs.
There's like edgy bangs,
side bangs. Oh yeah. Which across bangs. There's like edgy bangs, side bangs.
Oh yeah.
Which is harder to achieve the bangs or the growing out the bangs?
Yeah.
Oh,
uh,
growing out bangs.
Okay.
It is one of the hardest journeys that you're going to go.
It's an inward journey as well as an outward journey.
Uh,
yeah.
If you get to about the bottom of your ears and you haven't cut them,
then you're,
they say you're home free because it's maddening.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because why?
Because you can't, there's no.
Because they don't want to go.
Because the bottom of your ears, you have to sweep them.
Yeah.
And they don't want to go anywhere.
And until you can get them fully tucked under your ears, they're just hanging out.
They're just bangs.
On your face.
Have you ever had a haircut you had to grow out?
Like, and it was killing you?
When I shaved, when I shaved,
like, I shaved my head completely in that bald? Like, bald, bald.
Not like, like a,
like a, with shaving cream?
Uh, no, not that bald, but
the, you know, straight, yeah,
the straight clippers, and growing
that out, there's this really fuzzy
weird time where your, where
your head just can't
it can't do anything i had that once too and i just remember i showed up to like this was i was
like 24 maybe yeah and a guy in my i was in broadcasting school and a guy in my class was
like oh yeah you i know what you did you you saw train spotting and you saw ewan mcgregor and you
thought you would look good with that haircut.
I was like, that movie came out eight years ago.
And it took you this long to grow it out.
Yeah, I think that's probably the male equivalent is growing out the shaved head.
Yeah.
It's an awkward time.
It's awkward. I think about it all the time if I'm going to shave it again. Yeah. Is growing out the shaved head. Yeah. Yeah. It's like. It's an awkward time. It's awkward.
I think about it all the time.
If I'm going to shave it again.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm probably not going to.
No.
You've got a good mop of hair.
Yeah.
I've got my whole life ahead of me.
Yeah.
There you go.
But with, have you ever had bangs?
Yes.
Okay.
For a long time I had bangs.
When I first moved to Vancouver, I was Bang City.
Bang City.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Can we edit?
Can we start again?
Carrie, tell me about life in Vancouver.
Oh, it's like Bang City, Mom.
Elva, you're on the cast?
Yeah.
What was the question?
Well, I was just thinking, like, if you had never had bangs and your sister had them,
then that would be a good way to preview.
Yeah.
Right?
Oh, yes.
Yeah.
I mean, it's.
How fraternal are we?
It's one of those things where I often use my sister inadvertently as like a way to test things, you know.
We actually.
Try out this funky hat.
Right?
Yeah.
Like what does this hat do for us?
What's the difference between an identical twin and a fraternal twin who looks just like you?
Ooh, right?
Very little.
Very little to the untrained eye.
Same hair color?
Same hair color.
Yeah.
Same voice.
So when I hear, when I listen to this podcast, because I'm always going to listen to it,
because I'm on it.
That's what I do.
I'm going to think I'm listening to my sister.
Are you?
So, but you.
Oh, wow.
So you're dumb.
So I'm dumb.
A little bit of a dumb dumb.
Yes.
I get it.
No.
And it's kind of like, I don't know.
It's because we're very like fraternal twins can be like boy, girl, like tall, short.
Like I went to school with another set of fraternal twins who were the opposite.
Blonde brunettes, like tall and short.
Like they were literally Abbott and Costello.
It was crazy.
And so the fact that we even look alike is interesting.
And we're same height, like same everything.
Our faces are a little different.
Yeah, Lisa's just got a bit of a, it's like a fugly.
I don't know what's that word.
I don't know.
Like things just got a little, a little smushed.
Does she do any, she doesn't do any.
She's not allowed to do any comedy.
But like in high school, was she, was she in the artistic side?
She was.
Or was she a cheerleader?
She was.
She made it and I didn't.
I don't want to talk about it.
Okay.
No, she was into art too.
We were kind of like almost the same.
Like it was, we rebelled and yet we were basically best friends in the same person.
So it was difficult because we always liked the same things.
So you're just like, you're my best friend, but also quit copying me.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's interesting.
And they'd have no choice.
Right?
Yeah.
It's like, I don't know.
And like, what do you do if you like, because in one instance we did both have bangs because we both wanted bangs.
What do you do?
Like, it's like, I'm a free person.
I want to have bangs.
But then we looked at the same time. That was a rough go. bangs what do you do like it's like i'm a free person i want to have bangs but then you bangs
at the same time hey that was i am rough go it was bound to happen it was gonna happen yeah yeah
we got it out of the way and it was fine it's just it was a lot i'm glad that your friendship
and and sisterhood survived it did it did it was a rough go i and i grew it up i i ate my twin in the womb. Good for you. Thought about it. So I have bangs in his honor.
These are for you, Troy.
Troy.
And we will name the twin that you ate, Troy.
Troy, he feels like a Troy.
Yeah, now I'm just really stuck on this bangs cover right because i've heard that
if if a woman suddenly shows up somewhere with bangs yes that that is indicative that some this
is a life change yes something is happening in her life and she's she's going for it okay she's
making a change that's it literally if you go through a breakup or if you're,
you know,
any kind of situation
where you're just like
trying to make a drastic change,
but you don't know what to do.
Mercury's in retrograde.
If that,
if you bet your ass
if Mercury's in that fucking retrograde,
you're going to see
10 of your gal pals
and they're going to have
tight micro bangs.
And that's just a fact
because that's the easiest way
to like alter
just your general face.
Right.
It's probably like growing a beard.
It is probably, yeah.
But like quicker, more immediate and more regret, I think.
Yeah.
Do you regret your beard ever?
Yeah, sometimes.
Do you resent it?
I don't ever resent it because it's my, it's an ongoing choice.
Yeah.
But like you wish you could have a day you could turn it off? I never resent it because it's my, it's an ongoing choice. You choose it every day.
You wish you could have a day you could turn it off?
Yeah, there's some days, but then I feel around my jawline and I'm like,
it's better to keep this under wraps.
I don't feel a lot of like, yeah, jagged edges.
I'm not feeling an angle yet.
Yeah.
So, yeah. But like bangs can be an angle yet. Yeah. So, yeah.
But like bangs can be an overnight thing.
You can literally do that.
Honestly, anytime I've gotten bangs, it was usually a rash decision.
Like either I passed by a salon and said, today's the day.
Or it was late at night.
Oh, actually, you need an appointment.
Yeah, right.
And then I waited in the lobby and I saw one of the dressers wasn't busy.
Come on, I can see you.
Or you cut them yourself, which is a bold move.
I've cut my children's bangs a lot.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Just, well, I mean, they have them already.
You just kind of eat them up?
Line it up with the eyebrows every few weeks.
When I was a kid, we legit put a bowl.
Really?
Yeah, I followed the bowl.
The whole way around or just the bangs? The put a bowl. Really? Yeah, I followed the bowl. The hallway around or just the bangs?
The hallway around.
Really?
You had the like real like dumber, dumber bowl cut?
It was chic and shiker.
Thank you.
And yeah, it was full, full bowl chic.
Yeah.
Wow.
Yeah, it was unfortunate.
I also had a perm when I was a kid.
Me and my sister.
So we had bright red curly perm hair.
Annie hair.
Yeah. So school was a rough time for me
and i'd rather not unpack that yeah it's a hard knock life it is but it made me who i am today
yeah you know and i didn't want to be on the spirit lifters and no fine you didn't fine
they only had a one year you were yeah i was short-lived and somebody tattled them that
their butt said spirit on them and And we never found out who.
So it's fine.
I mean, everyone's a suspect.
It could have been anyone.
The evidence was right there.
I feel like the late 90s, the Britney Spears era, the first Britney Spears era was when they started putting things on the butts of sweatpants.
Statements on the butts.
My university, it was all the university name. I won't name it. Hor the butt. A sweatpants. Statements on the butts. My university was all the university name.
I won't name it.
Horny you.
Horny you.
Scholarship.
Yeah.
But like, yeah, that's not a thing anymore or has it come back?
I think it still is.
It must have.
I don't think it ever went away completely.
I just remember when it would say juicy.
Juicy.
That was the big.
remember when it would say juicy yeah juicy that was the big and i was like you know some kids really think they're pulling one over on the adult yeah and then it's the name of the brand
i didn't ask sometimes i would say like succulent baked ham
savory roast yeah yeah savory roast yeah that one got a little hard yeah oh boy um and now uh and now
you're out of it you're out of it now you're out of the bangs period you came out of the
bangs down no more yeah and uh and you followed you followed your bliss you followed your bliss. You followed your. Thank you.
You F'd your B.
I F'd that B.
Right out of Bangtown.
Yeah, none of this is usable.
Yeah.
And here I am.
But I will say that I have a Pinterest board of reasons why I should get bangs and why I shouldn't.
And every day I have to look at both of them and just wait. Which way is the wind blowing? Oh, every day. Do you really? Yeah, I want bangs.
But do you really? I'm bored. I mean, I guess I'm just, I didn't know
people still used Pinterest. Yeah, I'm, that's just
my, the easiest way at it for me. Yeah. For some reason
I signed up for a Pinterest account. I think to access one photo.
Yes, that's where
they get you they show
up in the Google
images yeah and
speaking of
notifications man oh
man you're blown up
over there well
because they made
the when you sign up
for a Pinterest account
to ask you your
interest yeah you
have to pick five
interests and I was
like I don't know I
guess I guess Marvel
Comics I clicked and
so it's like here are 29 pictures of Wolverine.
And, you know, so sure.
I look over.
Speaking of pictures, did you see that email we got that we're being sued?
By Anonymous International?
Did you see that?
No, no.
Oh, someone is, I don't know if we're being sued or
if it's it it feels like it should be a cease and desist because we used a picture that's owned
that belonged to someone of muriel hemingway when we posted the we tweeted about the stacy
mclaughlin episode okay and they were like now you're using a photograph belonging to us.
They were trying,
like they addressed it to maximum fun.
They have nothing to do with our tweets.
Yeah.
Oh,
no,
I didn't see that.
Oh yeah.
Well,
check it out.
All right.
We'll just,
I think delete that tweet and maybe we're fine.
Excuse about Borden.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But it was,
it's just a picture that was on the internet.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was a picture we just downloaded and
and we just tweeted it
we didn't post it anywhere
on our
anything we own
weird
yeah well
yeah
on the internet
anyway
yeah that's crazy
well I have to go
because I cannot be
in any kind of legal
tie up
okay no I get it
so this has been fun
thank you
thank you for coming by.
Good luck to you.
Yeah, thanks.
Good luck on your
decision
to make
bangs
at home.
Yep.
Or
make them professionally.
You make bangs, right?
You make them.
They make you.
Yeah, they make you.
Or they break you.
Dave, what's going on
with you, man?
Well,
a few things.
Did we talk about Cillian Murphy yet?
Yeah.
Covered.
Here's one thing that's going on with me.
Two days ago, I went to America.
And it was just a quick trip.
And I had the fastest interaction with the border guard ever.
Oh yeah.
And he said, what's the plan?
And I said, I'm going to, uh, pick up some packages at a post office box in Blaine that I'm going to the Trader Joe's in Bellingham.
And he gave me back my passport and said, see ya.
Whoa.
Congratulations.
Yeah.
Maybe you got, maybe you got like just a cool border guard.
I think.
Yeah.
Oh,
definitely.
I had a cool border guard.
I thought you were going to say,
maybe you just have a cool way about you.
Yeah.
Maybe it's,
maybe it's you.
But like.
Cool.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean,
that's the dream.
That's a,
I'm showing a lot of my privilege.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, I'm showing a lot of my privilege. Yeah.
Yeah.
I think they see the car seats in the back and they.
So all you need is a car seat.
I'm not saying that.
But.
Couldn't hurt.
Yeah. Couldn't hurt.
Yeah.
Throw a baby on board sticker.
Maybe one of those zombie families.
Zombie families.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Of decals but like uh did he say like do you sign
your yearbook is he cool yeah yeah he said uh is the sweet pony boy and yeah um so yeah that was a
one thing super nice yeah super nice yeah, great interaction with a border guy.
Yeah.
Another, the other thing that's going on, and also we have some mail to open, so we'll get to that after, is we had a, so my two kids, my two dads.
Yeah.
Margo is five.
Poppy is two.
Almost three.
And they both have a stuffed animal that they sleep with.
Margo has a teddy.
Poppy has a bunny.
Right.
Named Bun.
Teddy's name?
Teddy.
I was going to say Ted.
Yep.
Yep.
Okay.
And so we, a little while ago, there was one night.
I always try to make sure that the toys are upstairs by the time we start bedtime.
Because I hate to have them brush their teeth and have a snack.
Not in that order.
Order's important.
And also cross the T's and dot their I's on their bedtime contract.
Have a bath, brush their teeth, have a have a snack oh god i did it wrong bath snack uh teeth go read a story put
them in bed and then have another snack then right back to the bath and then have them say oh i forgot
teddy and then have to go back downstairs right So I try to make sure everything is good.
So the other night, Poppy was, we were downstairs and I took Bun, threw Bun to the bottom of the stairs.
So I would remember to bring her up, Bun's a girl, to the top of the stairs for bedtime.
And somehow, 10 minutes later, we went upstairs to bed and i couldn't find bun so in that 10 minutes
bun had disappeared okay so we looked everywhere we went through all the stuff on the main floor
well like all the all the places that bun could have probably gone we you know looked in the toy
boxes looked in between couch cushions, looked in baskets full of blankets.
So you're dealing, you have some sort of toy story situation.
Yes.
Yes.
You turned your back for a second.
And then we went upstairs.
Maybe Poppy quickly brought her upstairs and hid her somewhere.
Couldn't find her.
And we had to finally, like, it was terrible.
We had to say, you can't sleep with bun tonight
here are 10 other options yeah yeah yeah so we like packed a bed filled with other stuffed animals
here's a parade of second best and wow they were uh and we find, I promise we'll find bun tomorrow.
Poppy was relatively okay with that.
The next day,
couldn't find bun.
Looked in like everywhere that she could reach.
So we were like,
okay,
so in the oven,
in like cupboards and things,
where like in the shoe boxes and stuff or wherever we keep our shoes could no bun and then so we were
like oh well maybe margo was playing a trick and hid bun somewhere she denies it tricky margo
rankster both of them say they don't know where bun is and uh so looked at places margo could
reach so a little higher up yeah counterttops and things where we double checked.
Did you look online?
Looked outside.
They looked outside.
Looked at places they could have thrown it over the railing.
Right.
No.
So the next day, sorry, we still don't have bun.
A week and a half goes by.
We have given up.
Yeah.
We are baffled.
We talk about it every day.
Where the hell could bun be?
But now,
here's my question.
And this is,
is there,
is there,
can you not just go buy another one
that's the same look?
I don't know.
Okay.
Bun is not a,
from a name brand company.
Oh, I see.
I feel like it was a gift
from a family in Europe. Okay. Our family in Europe, not a family brand company. Oh, I see. I feel like it was a gift from a family in Europe.
Okay.
Our family in Europe,
not a family.
Random.
Some of these Bosnians.
Yeah.
So nice.
No.
So we also sent us
a seasoned assistant.
Yeah.
So we couldn't find Bun and we, a week and a half goes by.
We've given up.
We talk about Bun all the time.
Like years later, we're going to be like, we're still going to remember Bun and we're going to be like, what happened to Bun?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Then Poppy comes up to us and comes up to me and says, I found Bun.
And I said, what?
I like screamed.
Bun's over here. And I said, what? I like screamed. Bun's over here.
And I said, Abby, come look.
And I ran over and Poppy led me to the floor vent, the grate there on the ground where the hot air comes out.
Bun was in there.
What?
Toy story.
That's a toy story.
Yeah, that's a toy story. So a toy so i pulled it open pulled it out
and i asked margo did you do this because margo could do it and and she denied it oh fine
and poppy claims that she did it and so be cool with Margo. Poppy claims that she was the one who did it.
And I was like, okay, lift it up again.
Yeah, yeah. Show me how you did it.
Walk me through it.
Use your powerful
two-year-old fingers
to lift up this thing.
She's doing, hey, Warden, we were just
me and him was just playing.
Don't you worry about it. Keep walking.
So I,
but Margo's not the kind
of person to do that
and lie
for two weeks.
Well.
Wow.
They've got their own,
they've got their own
inner life.
Yeah.
It might,
maybe ghost.
I think,
I think Margo's,
Margo's,
the worm has turned
and now,
now Margo's
in her sneaky phase.
Oh no,
she's bad now?
Here we go.
She's going to go through, you know, let's say a five-year sneaky phase.
Oh, great.
Things are going to disappear.
There's going to be a lot of, I don't know what happens.
Yeah.
What other pranks is she going to pull?
The old saran wrap over the toilet seat.
Oh, that's all I need.
Yeah, yeah yeah yeah
filling up the
that's all I need
in my dick
the sugar bowl with salt
she's gonna learn
all about sugar
I put sugar on everything
you know
there's
you know
she's gonna mismatch
the recycling
all sorts of things
that kids can get into
I'll put some kind of bleach
in my hair tonic
yep
yeah put yeah All sorts of things that kids can get into. Put some kind of bleach in my hair tonic. Yep.
Yeah.
Cross it.
Yeah.
Glue in your shaving cream.
Oh, no.
Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
I shave every day.
That Elmer's crap.
Yeah.
When you were a kid, did you ever play pranks?
Actually, me and my sister, because I have a brother.
So, we did everything you listed.
Straight up did that.
You also do the saran wrap.
If you press it really neatly on food in the fridge, people think they can reach into the bowl.
It's very fun.
Nice.
I still do that one.
Yeah.
You keep it real.
Like you got to keep it real crisp.
Yeah.
I think April Fool's Day was always a big.
That was a big day.
It was always my sister's against, well, my sister against my brother.
And we would wake up as early as we could and do the old change the alarm clocks.
And I think at one point, I don't know what we, we did some weird stuff.
We wake up as early as you could and change the alarm clock.
Yeah.
Like it seems redundant.
Honestly.
Yeah.
Set your alarm to change change it was just like a
series of like honestly looking back they weren't really pranks they were more just like mild
inconveniences yeah what i mean like did you ever do a thing where you tried to swap identities with
your sister yeah and people were like yeah we can tell the difference you're not that alike honestly
it was actually kind of the opposite it was very anticlimactic we swapped classes like we had this
whole like elaborate plan we're like we'll meet at 10 15 outside like you say you have to go to
somebody's messed with my so i was two days late um but any who's uh and then we were like okay
you're going to this class it's gonna be great like we just like swapped bags or something and
then we went into each other's classes and we sat down and for the next like two and a half hours we just
learned their fucking shit and then at lunch i was like okay you got a math test coming up looks
real freaking hard um and then like no one noticed and then we just had to learn the other person's
like we were like this is there's no like we thought like what was gonna be the reveal like
surprise it is i fellow students okay either no one noticed or no one even cared like the
teacher's like whatever i get paid all the same but i love that it's just like i don't know i
just pranked my way into right learning a different thing learning a thing that i don't even need
putting myself behind in the other and i I kept being like, I hope you took notes.
Like, no, no way.
Neither of us did.
Mutually assured destruction.
Do you have the same handwriting?
Do you have the same handwriting?
Uh, kind of.
Kind of.
Cool.
What an interesting question.
I love that.
Because I'm assuming you're thinking, how are we going to falsify documents?
There's a lot of identity theft.
We both know what we can bring to each other's lives if we really wanted to. Or take away.
Or taketh away.
Moving on.
Got some mail.
Yeah.
This is to Dave and Graham.
Impossible guest.
Oh.
Okay.
So this is something from Sam and Alex FC.
So I guess
they're a soccer
team?
Yeah.
I know them.
Sending some goodies
from the US.
Based on what
we've heard you
talk about in the
last 200 episodes
or so, we hope
Graham can eat at
least some of them.
Have you looked in
here?
I took a gander.
Okay, can you eat
some of them?
Yeah.
I took a long
dreamy gander
I feel like we transitioned to male too quickly
No no
This is good
Now it's better
Yeah
We hope Graham can eat at least some of them
You've brought us a lot of laughter in the last few months of listening through the back catalog
Thank you for being so delightful and funny
Cease and desist
You've been sir You've been sir You're soist oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy more of these trader joe's
gummy tummies you probably picked up some of those when you pick up a package of them and
then brought them back here and realized we already had a package of them so now and i'm
up to four packs uh graham can can eat them They're filled with hooves
Yeah, filled to the brim
Really?
Trader Joe's Scandinavian Swimmers
That is a Swedish fish
It's a Swedish fish
Off-brand
Oh boy, this is really anticlimactic
You're welcome to join in on the bounty
Oh my god
You're a possible guest
Okay, I mean
I'm staking claim right now
On one of these gummy tummies
Is there anything you don't eat? I've never met possible guest. Okay. I mean, I'm staking claim right now on one of these gummy tummies.
Is there anything you don't eat?
I've never met a
Trader Joe's item I
haven't liked.
Okay.
Let's do this.
Trader Joe's dark
chocolate covered
marshmallows.
Yum, yum.
I don't know where
they would have
gotten that from.
Yummy tummy.
Trader Joe's dark
chocolate orange
sticks.
Now that I can get
into.
Okay.
Go for it.
That to me is
that's like an
after eight. Like an after eight.
Like an after eight or like a Terry's chocolate orange?
Oh, what day was it at work today for you?
Oh, thank you.
That was the right amount of enthusiasm, too.
It was waffle day at work.
Yeah.
Because I know how to party at work.
Well, they sent a pair of Swaffle Stroopwaffle waffles.
Oh, Stroops.
Stroops. Stroops.
You put those over your hot bevs and it melts it.
Nice.
That's an insider tip.
That's for you.
The chicken in a biscuit.
Chicken in a biscuit.
Biscuit spelled fun.
Chicken spelled standard.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We had these a few years ago.
Yeah, I could.
A box of these would be good right about now.
Yeah.
One box every few years is okay, I think.
Dip in.
And then this seems to be a wrapped, I'm guessing, box of chocolates.
Is it like a Ferrero?
Oh, you wouldn't have a Ferrero wrapped so wonderfully.
Yeah, you'd want everybody on your street to know that you had Ferrero.
Certainly.
You don't hide that shit.
It's like wrapped in like, feel it.
It feels like a fancy like a fancy paper. Fancy fabric like paper.
It's like a, I'm guessing a box of chocolate.
Because that is.
That's what life is like.
Sort of.
You never know what you're going to get.
Syllogism.
Not syllogism.
What is that?
What's that?
No, a syllogism?
Yeah.
Boy, I forget.
We talked about synecdoche a couple weeks ago.
Oh, there's a bag of syllogisms in here too.
Oh, I see that.
Just needed that.
Metaphor is when you just compare two things.
Yeah.
Versus simile.
Simile.
Simile.
Like or as.
What's syllogism?
That is a, feels like a type of mushroom.
Syllogism Murphy.
The active ingredient in chicken in a biscuit is syllogism.
It's Cillian Murphy's cousin.
Syllogism is an instance or of a form of reasoning in which a conclusion is drawn, whether validly or not, from two given assumed propositions.
Oh, I was going to say that.
For example, all dogs are animals.
All animals have four legs
Therefore all dogs have four legs
Oh
And
Is it true all dogs
Go to heaven?
Yeah
Okay
Enough
Hey you gotta save the paper
You just ripped into that
You maniac
Who saves the paper?
You maniac
What are you going to do?
These are end times
Yeah maybe
This is some dandelion
Small batch chocolate
Wow
Does it contain dandelion small batch chocolate. Wow.
Does it contain dandelion?
Because Graham's a vegetarian.
Oh.
Look at that.
What is the... I mean, this is a fancy...
Wow, that's gorgeous.
Whoa.
Three bars of chocolate.
Oh.
This is some fancy chocolate.
This is some fancy...
This is the end result of this.
Thank you very much to the soccer team who sent this to us.
They're going all the way
this year.
If you want to send us
an email,
we'll read it
and have fun with it,
probably.
Go to
stoppodcastingyourself.com.
There's a mailing address
on it.
Yeah.
This is a,
you know,
a horn of plenty.
Yeah.
And I went to
a horn of plenty high.
Oh, yeah.
That's right.
Before horny university. Oh, yeah. that's right. Before Horny University.
Graham, what's going on with you?
Do we want to continue the show with this all out in front of us?
Oh, sure.
We can be adults about it.
This past weekend, I went on the culture crawl.
The East Bank culture crawl.
I did.
Yeah, I decided to see, see what does our city have to offer? And so I went. I always want to. Yeah. I, uh, you know, decided to see, see what is our city
have to offer.
And so I always want
to do that.
It's fun.
Yeah.
It is a fun thing to do.
It's neat.
You get to see,
you know,
is it all the,
it's your,
so what is it?
Uh,
it's good question.
Well,
like the way I'm
imagining it is you go
to a bunch of like
artists studios and see
their works yeah is it but is there any other culture other than that uh they're probably like
is there like plays and things uh no i think it's all like open houses where they where they do
art so it's not it's specifically a visual art crawl yeah as far as what I went on, if there's more to it, then maybe I missed out.
But I went to past guest Morgan Brayton, works at an art space called the Art Factory.
And went there and there was one of the studios makes props for movies and TV.
makes props for movies and TV.
And I was like,
saw props that I've actually seen in movies.
Like what?
Deadpool specifically.
There were quite a few props that I was like,
this is the Deadpool's hat.
Yeah. It's his hat.
So, yeah, they had Deadpool's hat was there his trench coat oh he's drenched
this is his nintendo power glove
um but yeah what like looking at all these props i was i started like thinking about uh because
there's people that buy these from movies.
Yeah.
Well-to-do people will go to an auction and buy the-
The very one.
The Maltese Falcon from the Maltese Falcon.
Right.
I will exclusively collect MacGuffins.
Very niche.
Yeah.
yeah but I was thinking
what prop
I would
if I
if I had just
spending
if I had spending money
what would be a prop
from a movie
if you could
oh boy
if you just
you know
you had some
some cash lying around
boy
it feels like
Pawn Stars
yeah
yeah
the
oh boy
I mean
probably that
Almanac from
Back to the Future 2
because then I could make a little money off of all those forces.
It's so crazy, because the first thing that I thought of was the hoverboard from Back to the Future 2.
Oh.
I was like, that would be a cool, you know, you suspend it in your house by some fishing line, you know, so that people can pose next to it.
That's fun.
That is fun.
But yeah, do you think, can you name it?
Britney Spears' red latex
from Oops, I Did It Again.
Boy, that would be great.
Now, would you have that, would you have
it on a mannequin? Would you have it pressed
in a frame? You've got to have it on a mannequin.
I'm wearing that to IGA and I'm
buying my groceries. Guess what? New
life time. That's my bangs.
That's me going through a thing. Yeah.
So you go to IGA, they're like, well, is this going to be debit or credit?
And you're like, oh, I don't.
I'll be like, plastic, bitch.
And then I'm going to fumble in my pockets.
It's going to be really sweaty.
I'm going to be like, I'm sorry.
I just think this thing has pockets.
Run out of there.
Excuse me.
Do you have any of those little cookie waffles?
What kind?
Stroops!
I did it!
Nice.
Hi, y'all.
Yeah, so you would get the red?
I would get the red.
I'm getting red.
You would get the almanac?
That's good, yeah.
Maybe I'd get the money ball from Moneyball.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What about the spinner in Inception or whatever?
Oh.
The dreidel.
Dreidel.
The dreidel.
I wanted to say dreidel.
No, it was a top.
It was a top.
Yeah.
It wasn't specifically made of clay.
No.
But that would be a good one.
That would be a good one to have, like, where would you have that in your house?
Right. good one that would be a good one to have like where would you have that in your house right
because once you once you acquire the prop you know either you just have it in a trophy case
yeah or you just have it loose in the it's on the coffee table like a dish or drunk i probably get
the shine box from goodfellas yeah yeah yeah if they had it made up even though you don't get to see the shine box yeah what's the greatest
unseen prop
yeah
do you see the
Maltese Falcon
in the Maltese Falcon
you do
and apparently like
the original
was destroyed
and a lot of people
claim that they have
the original
oh
there's like a bunch
of people that say
that they have it
do you ever see
the continuum
transfunctioner from dude where's my car
I don't know
I think you do I think it's
oh boy it's
you never see what's in the box in
seven you don't
no you see a bit of it right
no you just see doesn't her head roll out
do they not make a head
it rolls out a bit though there's a tumble but you see hair
no yeah you don't see anything so it's it's that's a pretty good how do you know what's in there
right that's the but you know what's in there you know how come that how is that not a meme
of what's in the box and then a bunch of silly things in a box?
Oh, yeah.
What's in the box?
Just a jelly.
It's just some Trader Joe's stuff sent by fans.
Chicken and a biscuit.
Yeah.
What's in the box?
And her head doesn't roll.
No.
He's not like, ah, drops it.
She was preggers. They zoom in on the head and it winks yeah and dire straits
plays oh boy uh yeah yeah i mean uh i think that's what i'm trying to think of now what are the other
what are the other great unseen props well there's oh's, oh, well, not unseen props, but the end of Lost in Translation when Bill Murray whispers, what the hell does he say?
That's my seven props.
Oh, boy.
Like, yeah, I bet this will count as an end of a movie.
Right?
I'm like, come on, that's lazy.
This shouldn't count, right?
Yeah, I'm like, give me the deets.
There's a funny story that Bill Murray tells in an interview where a bunch of people,
he was on a dock somewhere and somebody yelled at him.
What did you say at the end of last in translation?
And as he's about to yell something out,
a foghorn goes off and he just mouthed some words and the people on the boat
were like,
fantastic.
Honestly,
there it is.
You know,
that is,
uh,
anyways, I'd buy the hoverboard from Back to the Video Game.
That's what I'm saying.
Anything else at the Culture Crawl?
Yeah, I mean, there was a lot of, oh, there was this one artist that she had a bunch of paintings up.
And if you downloaded an app and then pointed your phone at the paintings, the painting became animated.
Oh, cool.
It was so cool. It was so cool.
That's so cool.
I don't know why all painters don't do that.
Pick it up, Picasso.
Yeah.
I think my Canucks calendar does that.
Aw.
Really?
Yeah.
Just like Bo Horvat wins it.
Yeah, there's something.
Maybe there's a centerfold in the middle
and you're supposed to do something.
I forget.
Oh, there's coupons.
Yeah, there's definitely coupons.
Yeah, cool.
Yeah, pretty good.
Yeah, so there were lots of different paintings.
But I just really, I was really taken away with this prop shop.
Yeah.
And they had like a thing, 3D printing something.
I don't know what it was.
Yeah, it takes a long time.
Yeah.
3D printing something.
I don't know what it was.
Yeah, it takes a long time.
Yeah.
And then they had like a
like a
thing
that you would pour plastic into
to make a mold
of an old timey phone.
Cool.
Yeah.
Right?
Is that easier than
just getting an old timey phone?
I think if you
if you had to bash
somebody's head with it
or something.
That's what it does.
You'd have to
You do have to do that a lot you'd have to have
a soft phone oh i love it in high fidelity uh where if they uh he's having a fantasy about
beating up the guy who's uh dating his ex-girlfriend do you use a phone he uses the
entire phone like picks up the whole phone and smashes them across the face. It's Tim Robbins and his teeth go flying.
Yeah.
Didn't, I feel like, Russell Crowe got in trouble for throwing a phone at somebody.
Yeah, Naomi Campbell.
Yeah, yeah.
Mobile phone.
Oh, she, mobile phone.
Yeah.
Wow.
Wow.
Just beating someone with a phone.
Like, smashing them with it.
Yeah.
Right?
And that was back when, like, we were, days yeah yeah yeah yeah he hit me with a razor oh are you cut no a motorola
razor um but yeah if uh if uh you're happy to be in van in the fall. The cultural crawl is on.
Go.
I say go.
It gets its name from a pub crawl, I'm guessing.
And the pub crawl gets its name from the fact that you get drunker and drunker as you go from pub to pub.
Yeah, you get more and more enamored with art as you go on.
And it has a euphoric feel.
Sure, yeah.
So you end up crawling.
Yeah, I guess that is where pub crawl, yeah. So you end up crawling. Yeah.
Yeah, I guess that is where pub crawl comes from.
Isn't it?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And you know what?
Check out pub crawls.
Yes.
Yeah, also.
If you're in a foreign city, it's a great way to meet tourists, young tourists, fellow
backpackers.
Oh, boy.
I'm just picturing going on
a pub crawl now.
Yeah, me
and my parents.
Just like after pub two
being like, I'm full.
My pants
don't fit anymore. It's only eight?
But it seems like it's been all night.
20 year old Americans were were like we can drink here
yeah we can but let's do responsibly yeah yeah yeah anyone want to watch tlc in my dorm room
i filled up on uh pretzels at the last stop so i'm just gonna have a soda water at this pub
um should we move on to a little
bit of business? Yeah, baby.
Hi,
everybody. Stop Podcasting
Yourself is brought to you by...
Oh, well, who is this?
Your mean older brother.
Oh, no.
I didn't know
that you were invited over for this. Yeah, it's me,
Trace. Oh, yeah. Graham's it's me, Trace. Oh, yeah.
Graham's mean older brother, Trace.
Trace.
Trace.
That's how you sound.
Oh, man.
I'm going to tell mom.
I will tell mom.
Yeah, well.
Who is she going to believe?
She'll probably believe you.
Yeah, her little angel, Trace.
Now, Trace.
Yeah. You've got some work that. Now, Trace. Yeah.
You've got some work that you want to put online.
Uh-huh.
Some of your photos of bullying me.
Yeah, well, you know what?
Snake bites you've given me, swirlies, et cetera.
Yeah, I channeled a lot of my work into my art.
Yeah.
And people are lapping the stuff up.
And you know where you can...
Like when I made you
lap up all that dog food,
bro.
Yeah, so, you know,
if you want to, like,
showcase that work
that you've been doing,
and it's great work.
Thanks.
You tit.
You can set yourself up
a website,
and there's no easier
place to do it, Trace,
than at Squarespace.
Alright, Poindexter.
Squarespace does this by giving you
beautiful, customizable templates,
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You had a little trouble with the word templates, didn't you?
Trace, you're so mean.
I'm gonna go make out with my girlfriend.
She's the girl I had a crush yeah well i'm gonna squeeze her boobies with consent no sure yeah trace is a bully but he's
he's not a monster he's a gentleman anyway they're loving this ad um it comes with powerful
e-commerce functionality that lets you sell everything online.
Pictures of the swirlies, etc.
Yep.
Everything optimized for mobile right out of the box.
Yep.
And a new way to buy domains and choose from over 200 extensions.
Yeah, you know how I bought domains?
I cracked open your piggy bank.
What?
And stole all your loonies.
I was saving up for a stamp collection.
Well, I mean, what was your idea?
You were going to buy a whole collection?
Yeah, I was going to buy an old man's stamp collection.
Oh, okay.
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Now, if you out there need to build a website,
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Trace, hurry up, my boobs are
getting cold! Well,
uh, wait over
there Gwendolyn, I think
Graham's doing another ad
are you sticking around for this second ad Trace?
I guess I may as well
Stop Podcasting Yourself
is also brought to you
in part by HelloFresh
oh hello
I'm gonna go get fresh with Gwendolyn
oh nice thank you
HelloFresh is a meal kit delivery service
that shops
Graham's got the hots for you.
Oh, stop it.
Oh, my God.
Is that your little brother?
Guys.
Yeah.
Graham.
What was the nickname you gave Graham?
Schlaf?
Yeah, it was Schlaf.
Hey, Schlaf.
Oh, guys.
Go ahead.
Read your copy.
Oh, boy.
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What if I stand right here, Graham?
Right beside you?
No, you're freaking me out.
What?
What is it?
I caught Graham pre-measuring his ingredients.
Oh, you're shluffing away, Graham.
Okay, Gwendolyn.
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Go easy on him.
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You're not my family favorite i could
tell you who's your favorite brother who you like better than me i like dad i'll kill him
well maybe because it's not funny well there, it's sort of a family joke.
Yeah.
Have you read The Family Circus?
It's sort of like, not me.
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You know Graham's a vegetarian?
Oh my God, that's kind of sweet.
Gwendolyn likes that.
Nah, baby, you like me.
There's nothing I won't eat.
Except a vegetable.
So gross.
Oh, yes.
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You have the funniest voice.
That's not what you're a comedian.
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And, well, you guys have really put me in my place.
Graham, I mean, I know I'm hard on you.
Hard on.
That's all.
We interrupt the podcast you're listening to to tell you about another podcast.
That's right.
We got this with Mark and Hal.
That's correct, Mark.
This is Hal.
We do the hard work for you
settling all of the meaningless arguments
you have with your friends.
So tune in every week
on the Maximum Fun Network
for We Got This with Mark and Hal.
And all your questions will be asked and answered.
You're welcome.
All right, that's enough of that.
We got this.
Overheard.
Cocoa beans and cane sugar.
Do we want to taste these on the show?
Hey, do you know who mine was sourced by?
Greg.
Where did it say that?
Sourced directly by Greg.
Yeah, same here.
We'll have a roast profile by
on the front
Bottom left
Ryan
Casey
Elman
Oh cool
So listener
We've
Dug into these
Dandelion small batch chocolates
And we're going to do
A little taste test
Because why
The F not
Yeah yeah yeah
These wrappers
Are elegant
I mean
Like little dishcloths
They are like Little dishcloths.
They are like little dishcloths.
It's gorgeous.
Little doilies.
They are very,
so,
um,
this is like,
this is like movie chocolate.
This is movie prop chocolate.
Yeah.
Okay.
So I'm eating the,
uh, this is,
uh,
from Haciendo Azul in Costa Rica.
Good.
Yeah.
Uh,
mine's Maya Mountain Belize.
Mine is from, uh, Coco Camili, Tanzania.
Can I have a Belize?
Oh, please.
Help yourself.
Sorry.
Oh, come on.
Take the whole thing.
Yum.
Yeah, yum.
Yum.
Yum and good.
Yeah.
I just, we're recording this on the 21st of November.
Sorry, guys.
We're all just chewing, Micah.
Uh, the, um, we still have Halloween candy.
And yet, like, Margo gets a piece of Halloween candy for dessert.
And she still has so much.
But there's, she digs through it there's so much she
doesn't want so yesterday we finally like went through all of it we're like we'll just buy you
a big regular chocolate bar if you get rid of the rest of your halloween candy just so we can be
rid of it yeah and uh it's the right thing yeah good deal. Yeah. And she was on board. Yeah. Okay. Overheards, guys.
Oh, yeah.
Do we have to record an ad or?
No.
No.
Okay.
We will get.
I see.
Overheards.
Segment in which we hear things out there in the world.
And you know what?
It's tempting to just keep them to yourself.
But I say no.
I say share them here on the podcast.
And we always like to start
with the guest carrie would you lead the charge i would love to um i've got i've got two sneaky
ones one um wait how do you want to do this you want to do two in a row or do you want to go around
afterwards oh um well they're both kind of like one is a cheating one because it's actually just
something i overheard my sister say. That's fine.
Does that count?
That's basically like overhearing yourself.
That's true.
Right?
Talk about hubris here. Did anyone taste another person's chocolate?
No.
Did you taste all three?
I tasted all three.
And what was your favorite?
They're all exactly the same.
Oh, wow.
Okay.
Okay.
I was going to guess that, but I was like, no.
So, in my sister's defense, we had actually. Okay. I was going to guess that, but I was like, no. So I, in my sister's defense, we had actually.
Okay.
All right.
Your honor.
Your honor.
She's not the one on trial.
I just know I have to like come to her defense because she's going to be like, why did you say this?
We had gone out the night before, as one does, you know.
Pub crawl?
We were pub crawling it up yeah we were
going to hoard and after 8 30 we were straight to bed um but yeah so we were worse for wear it was
uh you know the brunching hour is about noon uh we were we met up at uh five point for some um
caesars essentially and uh my friend was here from out of town. And my sister was like, oh, you know, I really want to BLT, but I think it might be too much.
And so I was like, you know what?
I can, I'd go in on that with you.
And, you know, we're like.
I'm looking at my portfolio.
This is per my interest.
Let's do this.
Let's joint venture this.
And then the server comes and taking everyone's order.
And then, so my dear sister is like, just like discombobulated, like, hey, hi.
So I think I'm going to have the BLT, but do you think, I don't know, do you think you could cut that in half?
Is that, is that something that can be shared?
And we just looked at her as she just squeamishly, like no idea what she was saying the server's like the sandwich that is certainly not one two pieces of uncut bread combined
together yeah with no break uh and we all just stared at each other like oh no this is we are
that table and then we obviously ordered another round of Caesars to chase the pain away.
I don't want to impose, but do you do sliced bread here?
And she did one of those things where it's like, is that crazy?
Like, sorry to be a bother.
I'd like a club sandwich, but do you think you could put a toothpick through the pan?
Just to keep the sandwich together?
You don't just put it between two loaves of bread. That's too much. Would that be too much? Do you think you could like put a toothpick through the... Could you just kind of keep the sandwich together? I'm sorry.
You don't just put it between two loaves of bread because that's too much.
Would that be too much?
I'd like a grilled cheese, but is the cheese going to be melted in it?
I don't want hard cheese.
I don't want to eat just like a hard piece of cheese between two bread.
Do you know what I'm saying?
Ah.
Oh, yeah.
I love it.
Poor, poor child.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Adorable.
It was adorable.
It's adorable.
There you go.
Adorable.
Yeah. I forget what we came to. We're going to go around? Yeah.. It's adorable. There you go. Adorable. Yeah.
I forget what we came to.
Are we going to go around?
Yeah.
Let's go around.
We'll go around.
Dave?
I was pretty focused on tasting all the chocolate.
Absolutely.
Rightfully so.
My overheard is from Margo's skating.
Margo takes a skating class.
Skateboarding, right?
Nope.
No.
Ice skating Oh okay
She's on the half pipe
Ice skating
So she's out there on the ice
Oh you guys the Canucks are winning 4-1
And all the parents are just sitting
Next to
You know not on the ice
But watching the kids skate They shouldn't be on the ice if they are And I just overhe know, not on the ice, but watching the kids skate.
They shouldn't be on the ice if they are.
And I just overheard a parent on the phone say, I'm going to go to Nordstrom's and I'm not going to include you.
Does that feel good?
No.
Love you.
Oh, my God.
That's devastating.
Yeah.
Because they've been talking about this trip all year.
We're going to Nordstrom's.
That's the Disneyland
Of retail
Yeah
I don't know
What they sell at Nordstrom's
It's a department store
Jackets and such
Yeah yeah
Jackets and pants
Shirts
Basically everything
But I went to a Nordstrom's
Very recently
Because I'd never
Really gone in
They have a bar in there
Oh yeah
They do have like a
Lounge bar
They do have like a
Bartender I've never been To the bar Or to Nordstrom proper I've been to that bar They have a bar in there Oh yeah they do have Like a Lounge bar They do have like A bartender
I've never been
To the bar
Or to Nordstrom proper
I've been to that bar
Yeah
That was where I was
The night before
Actually no
But I thought about it
I was like
Who comes here
I would like to
I would like to eat a sandwich
In a department store
I'd like to have a drink
In a department store
I'd like to throw up
In a department store
Have you eaten at the
Bay
I don't know It's still open But they had a Back in the day Like a cafeteria Yeah department store? I'd like to throw up in a department store. Have you eaten at the Bay?
I don't know if it's still open
but they had a
back in the day
like a cafeteria.
Ooh, the Bay Days.
Not to bring it back
to Zeller's
but Zeller's also had
a restaurant
that was big in Alberta.
Yeah.
And yeah,
you would eat beside
basically the
I think it was always
the lingerie section
so it felt so weird
to be in your grilled cheese
next to a pair of like
underwear.
Yeah, there's like a sign
do not wipe mouth
on
teddies
my overheard
is courtesy of
standing
standing in line
waiting to get
into a show
oh why did I make you wait
you're a big star
that's true
hey
why did I throw my weight around?
Yeah.
I hate to pull this card, but.
I was on Dawson's Creek.
Yeah.
And I don't want to wait.
Yeah.
I played Andy.
I don't remember that actress's name.
Look it up.
Look it up.
Okay.
Later.
Later.
And I was in front of i was kerr smith pretty good yeah uh there was a couple i think it was there's three people and they were talking
and the the woman of the three people was saying that uh she's a lifelong vegetarian so she never had a hot dog
and they're like really you never had a hot dog she's like yeah not even a smoky is that what
it's called a smoky oh boy like a smoky yeah yeah that's what they both said like a smoky is what
you mentioned oh yeah smoky but like not even a Smokey, which is everyone's favorite.
Gateway hot dog.
Gateway.
But a Smokey.
I just want to clear things up.
Kurt Smith played Jack.
I still don't know who played Andy.
It's impossible knowledge.
Yeah.
Who could know?
Who could know?
But I feel like dropping Dawson's Creek would get you in.
It would get you in with a certain type of food.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Have you had a...
As a vegetarian, when's the last hot dog you had?
What was your last...
Was there a gateway meat to ending your life with meat?
Yeah.
There wasn't a definite thing,
but I remember the last thing I ate that was like a meat thing.
And that was a popcorn chicken.
And I was like,
I'm out.
Like I had whittled,
I had whittled my way down to eating meat once a week.
And then I had popcorn chicken one night and I was like,
I can just go without this.
That's enough. Do you think you, do you think anyone and I was like, I can just go without this. That's enough.
Do you think anyone has ever been like,
oh, a meat thermometer
and they thought it was a thermometer made out of
meat and they ate it and they're like,
this is terrible. I'm done with meat.
Do I think that ever happened? Yes.
To answer your question, yes.
Carrie, did you have another one?
Yeah, the other one was, this was happened a while ago.
That's why I was like, oh, this isn't a fresh one.
But it was a mother to a child.
And I just remember passing them downtown as I was walking.
And the mother was very frustrated.
And she says to her daughter, just, let's just wait and let me get this orange home to you where I can prepare it to your requirements.
And that just grabbed me in such a real way.
I was like, I had so many questions and I just, I remember walking and thinking like, what are these requirements?
What are the specifications that this child has with this orange that she cannot consume this orange right here and right now?
It's gotta be, it's got to be
in some kind of slice.
I'm assuming it's
in slice form,
but I just felt like
I wanted it to be
or wedged.
We don't know.
Or is it a
mandarin orange
that you peel,
but you have to peel it
in such a way
that it looks,
the peel ends up
looking like an elephant.
That's right.
And it's one peel.
Yeah.
Only one peel.
Yeah. These are all ways to prepare an elephant. That's right. And it's one peel. Yeah. Only one peel. Yeah.
These are all ways to prepare an orange.
Yeah.
You could just put it on a stick.
There's no wrong way to eat a Reese's.
You could just eat the damn orange.
Yeah.
That's what I was thinking.
You could eat it rind and all.
Please.
You know.
When it's done, I eat it like an apple.
Do you ever eat it the rind?
I've eaten a lemon rind and you know what?
Kind of very refreshing.
Yeah.
It's not bad for you, right?
No, apparently the peels are like the healthiest part.
Yeah, yeah.
And like the white part of the orange, like the stuff that sticks on there.
The cum.
Thank you.
Yes.
Yes, there it is.
Gross.
Dave.
It's gross.
Dave's got the biggest I'm a little rascal smile on his face.
He's showing His degrees showing
And horn you
I hope you had a sound effect
The slide whistle
Yes
Well I'm going to be taken off the air
Not that kind of show
Oh come on
Now in addition to our
Overheards we have overheards sent in from people
Around the planet.
If you want to send one in, you can send it into SBY at maximum fun.org.
Uh, and this first one comes from Nicole parts unknown, but she's at the gym and she was watching the TV with, uh, a show called the real, which I don't know what that is.
Is that two E's?
Uh, no.
Uh, R EE-A-L.
Oh, okay.
The younger version of The View,
I guess, is what she's saying.
Who's on that? I don't know.
I don't know.
Who's like the young Joy Behar?
Joy Behar's still on there. I know, but who would be the young Joy Behar?
Who would be the equivalent?
I was going to say Kathy Griffin would be the younger Joey Behar.
I feel like if they're going for the real, it's got to be much younger.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Anyway, so watching and with the captions on at the gym.
Oh, yeah.
I guess you'd have to.
Someone was talking about how she lost 23 pounds by eating
a vegan diet the closed caption said plant-faced instead of plant-based which is pretty good
if you were on tv and then a caption came up and said plant-faced
burn on you you're like oh that's a sick burn uh Do you want to know who's on the reel? Yes. Well, I, okay.
I recognize, oh boy, two of these names.
Although actually one of them is not there anymore.
Oh.
Apparently there have been six seasons of it.
Yeah.
So there have been many hosts.
Okay.
Is this the one that Sharon Osbourne was on?
No, that was the chat?
No, the, no.
The that.
There was the chew. The chew. The talk was the chat? No, the... No, the... The that. There was the chew.
The chew.
The talk was the one.
The talk.
The talk.
Okay.
You know the first one.
Tamara Mowry Housley.
Oh, yeah.
One of...
Who's that?
She was on Sister, Sister.
One of the top twin shows?
Yeah.
Tia and Tamara Wow
I lost my twin
Twindom
Hostess and fashion expert
Jenny Mai
Don't know
Don't know
R&B singer
And television personality
Tamar Braxton
Best known as
Toni Braxton's sister
Okay
I'm assuming sister
Singer and actress
Adrienne Houghton Houghton uh who is from
the cheetah girls okay i'm familiar who may have been was that the name of your high school uh
cheerleading school i wish sure we shopped that one around i like how i say we but i was certainly
not a part of it and i'm not i'm okay with that and did i I mention Tony Love yet? Lonnie Love. Sorry.
How about Lonnie Love?
Tony got in there.
Lonnie.
Who's a comedian.
I think that was your Joy Behar with Lonnie Love.
There you go.
I think I got through all of them.
Pretty good.
Yeah.
This next one comes from Amy in Amesbury, Massachusetts.
I was shopping. That must be like, you must be a celebrity if your name's Amy and you live in Amesbury.
Oh, yeah.
Local like, hey.
She can shoplift here.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
She's the town to the front of the line.
I was shopping at a vintage store yesterday.
And one of two teenage girls near me picked up a shirt and said, I wish I was a cool pirate lady.
That's my biggest regret in life.
It could be a normal pirate lady, but it's not the same.
Yeah.
Truer words.
When I say cool pirate lady, what are you picturing?
Johnny Depp.
Johnny Depp with bangs.
Yeah.
You know, that is a, that's a look. I guess you're probably eccentric, but to the 11th degree, you know?
Like not manic pixie girl.
But Stevie Nicks, but like.
She's a little too witchy.
Yeah, she's a little witchy.
That's the witchy vibes.
Yeah.
I mean, what is.
Steven Tyler.
Yes.
There you go.
There you go.
He's got a real.
Toxic twins.
Real pirate lady.
Yeah, so are you and your sister toxic twins?
We're toxic to each other.
Yeah, because you both love Britney Spears' toxic video.
Oh, please.
Where she rubs her butt up against the guy.
Come on.
This last one comes from Andrew N. in Midtown Manhattan.
At the M&M store.
Yep.
This is in a locker room in Midtown Manhattan.
One dude trying to convince another dude to go to this birthday event with him.
The guy says, can I go in Burning Man black tie?
And he says, what's Burning Man black tie?
I don't know.
That's the dress code for this other thing I have to go to tonight.
Oh.
Okay.
What's that?
So many questions. I think you dress as like a to tonight. Oh. Okay, what's that? So many questions.
I think you dress
as like a lady pirate.
Yes.
Yeah, I feel like
the similar dress code.
Yeah.
They might be going
to the same event.
Drive, show up in an art car.
Yeah, an art car.
I think it's a lot of
like shipwrecked clothes.
Yeah.
Like your pants are all frayed.
Yeah.
It's a lot like, yeah,
you just got washed up
on an island.
Yeah.
Did I tell you when I was in New York?
I thought you were going to say, did I tell you I went to Burning Man?
Oh, no.
I was voted the least likely to go to Burning Man.
He said, I'll show you.
In New York, where we stayed, the apartment building was literally next door neighbors to the M&M store.
Nice.
Well, that's everything you need in a building.
Because when Graham and I went to
New York in 2012 together
on our honeymoon,
we were renewing
our vows. We went to the M&M store
and it was sort of central to
our New York experience.
We went, do you remember
like everyone was so happy
Yeah
Like the employees
Were dancing
What?
Oh yeah
Like the McDonald's employees
And Mac and me
Yeah
Yes
It was just like
They were
Like I guess
People's job is to be
Excited about M&M's
Aww
Easy job if you ask me
Yeah
I bought the least
M&M-y thing I could find
Which was a spatula
Sure sure Yeah You still have it? Yeah Oh nice It's a good spatula And all the M&M-y thing I could find which was a spatula. Sure, sure.
You still have it?
Yeah.
Oh, nice.
It's a good spatula.
And all the M&M's
like from all the washing
the M&M's have all faded
off the handle.
So it's just a spatula now.
And then we left
and I feel like
both of us were
confronted by people
collecting for charity
and we both gave them money
and it was clearly
just people
taking money from us.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Big city
guys taking advantage
of the out-of-town rubes.
And then we went
across the street
to the Hershey store
and it was the
polar opposite.
So sad.
There was literally
an employee crying.
Yeah.
That's right.
Oh.
Yeah.
Just eating chocolate and crying. Yeah. Yeah's right. Oh. Yeah. Just eating chocolate.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then, so this trip, I was like, well, I have to go to the M&M's.
Yeah.
It stunk.
Like.
Like they were cooking M&M's and they burned them.
This batch is no good.
Yeah.
I wish we didn't sell our one spatula.
They couldn't flip it.
Now, in addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls.
If you want to call us, our phone number is 1-844-779-7631.
That's one.
SpyPod 1.
Like these people have.
Hi, Dave Graham and possible guests.
This is Emma from Bernabee calling in with an overheard. So I was seeing a Starbucks today
working on a paper for school, and these three middle school age girls
sat at this table across from me, and they're talking about this mutual friend that they had,
I assume, and this mutual friend's plan for what their future kids were going to be like.
And the first girl says, and then the third kid's going to have red
hair and blue eyes,
and his name's going to be, get this, Montgomery.
And the second girl says, Montgomery?
That's crazy.
And then the first girl says, like, just say that out loud, Montgomery.
Let that sink in.
Anyways, I thought that was a pretty funny reaction,
hearing a name for the first time,
and I thought you guys might appreciate it, too.
Yeah.
Thanks, guys. Love the show. Off I thought you guys would appreciate it too. Thanks guys.
Love the show.
Off I go.
Shorten it to Monty.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Or Gum Gum.
Yeah.
I was like Mont.
Yeah.
Might not be right.
So the only Montgomery that comes to mind is Montgomery Burns.
Montgomery Burns.
Do you, did you ever do that?
Like imagine what kids you would have or like
I feel like that was all
that all took place
in that game
with the folded paper
yeah
you're like
mash
mash
right
I didn't do it with
what kids
but I think
what celebrity
you would
inevitably end up
marrying
certainly
there was a lot of that
oh so mash was
stood for something
mansion
apartment
apartment shack and house and house and you would so there would be oh was that There was a lot of that. Oh, so MASH was. It stood for something. Mansion. Mansion, apartment. Apartment.
Shack.
Shack.
And house.
And house.
And you would, so there would be, oh, what was that?
Was it the one with the folded paper?
Yeah.
I think so.
There was also one with, where you would just like put a bunch of categories on and you'd
be like, you know, you'd live in these, one of these kinds of homes.
Right.
You'd marry.
Oh yeah. You know. An apartment. From, one of these kinds of homes. Right. You'd marry. Oh, yeah.
You know, from your, someone from your class or a celebrity.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're like, come on, Brittany.
Or someone's mom.
You would.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Your job would be like, you know, baseball player or janitor.
Yeah.
The worst job.
And you would drive
like
it would be your car
yeah
yeah
and then
Ferrari
and it always came true
yeah yeah yeah
that's why I drive a
Ferrari
yeah you drive a Ferrari
you got podcaster
yeah
I mean at that time
1988
crazy
and I'm married to
Crystal Bernard from Wings.
Married to Marky Post.
Yeah.
That was how it was said
during your vows.
Do you, Crystal Bernard
from Wings.
From Wings.
Here's your next phone call.
Hi, Dave Graham,
and I'm going to guess
Paul F. Tompkins.
No, you're making the guest feel bad.
I'm James from Allentown.
I'm calling in with an overheard.
And I was in Los Angeles checking into a hotel,
and there was a small child running around the hotel lobby,
as small children do, and, you know, screaming and stuff.
And he found his way over to an atm in the
lobby and started smashing the buttons repeatedly and going mummy mummy look at me i'm an american
anyway cutting commentary
mummy isn't this funny?
I'm an American
He has put the mirror on America
Yeah
You watch all the American movies and TV shows
And they're just about people
Beep bop
At ATM
Yeah, getting cash fast
I just, I love it
I love it that this kid he's nailed the impression
he didn't probably
even have to say it
say it
his mom knew
he's doing
he's doing the American thing
his mom gave him that note
he's like
don't
don't dip the lead
just stick with what you got there
it's worth it
well he's got his ATM
he plays with at home
yeah
when he plays American
yeah
yeah
I feel like that's a thing that could exist at somebody's home.
A toy ATM.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I mean, we have toy cash registers.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
That's true.
They have the portable pin pads now.
Just tap.
Just tap.
You just have to tap.
Just tap.
The tap's broken.
Yeah.
The T-shirt, you have to do.
No tap.
You have to do chip and pin.
Yeah. Chip T-E-R-R, you have to do. No tap. You have to do chip and pin. Yeah.
Chip or pin.
I could see a kid getting it to tap.
Come on.
After dinner, going around the table, getting everybody to tap.
Aw.
Oh, look at Jimmy.
Aw.
He's being an American.
He's an American waiter.
Yeah.
Here's your final overheard.
Hiya.
I'm calling in with an overseen this is francesca from philly um so i was out walking my dog and my friend's dog today and um i come around the corner
and see on the next corner down the block this guy who's like, obviously...
Sorry, that was gross.
So she burped.
I didn't get it at first. But she called back hilarious hey we've all been there
hey uh this is francesca from philly calling in with an overseen
um so i was walking my dog and my friend's dog this morning and um kind of walking around the
block and i turn the corner and on the next corner down,
I see this, like, hipster guy
who's, like, obviously in, like,
I'm going to do some work today
with my hands drag.
And he has, like, tools in his pocket.
Oh, my God.
I'm sorry.
I just chugged a lot of LaCroix.
Adorable.
She did call back another time,
but the overheard is like three minutes long.
The gist of it is the guy spent a long time,
and he couldn't even get his hood open.
Oh, my God.
That was pretty good.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
I know there's a switch around here somewhere.
And he kind of, I think he celebrated when he got it open.
No.
Yeah, first step. But mostly you burping and laughing at yourself.
Yeah, the La Croix burp.
Yeah.
What do you think of the La Croix and other, you know, flavorless fizzy beverages?
Big, big fan.
You are?
Big, big, big time fan.
What do you like?
I find water boring and drab.
And I love, I mean, I like a La Croix.
I mean, I said they were flavorless.
I meant they're flavored.
They're flavor filled.
They're not as flavor filled as 9,000 other drinks.
Yeah, as anything else.
Yeah.
It's the illusion of flavor.
Yeah.
What do you like?
I like the usuals, like the lemon, the lime.
But you like La Croix?
But I do like La Croix.
Yeah, that's my go-to.
But sometimes I'll buy off-brand or like whatever's on sale. Sure. You know Croix. But I do like La Croix. Yeah, that's my go-to.
But sometimes I'll buy off-brand or like whatever's on sale.
Sure.
You know what I mean?
I'll do a Perrier.
I'll do a Bubly.
I'll do a Bubly, a Bubly.
Imagine a time that Perrier is considered
the cheaper brand.
Right?
Wow.
I know, I said that and I was like,
oh, I hear it.
Yeah, that's my privilege.
I drink Perrier. The Pellegrino flavored, oh, I hear it. Yeah. That's my privilege. Yeah. Drink Perrier.
The Pellegrino flavored ones, they're too flavored.
Yeah.
They're like, it's just.
I think that's just a soda.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We're in soda town.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I like to just pour a little bit of root beer and then fill up the rest of club soda.
Yeah.
I just want the essence.
Yeah.
I've done that.
Really? Well, no. And there's like. Oh, the syrup? The bitters. up the rest of club soda yeah i just want the essence yeah i've done that really well no and
there's like uh oh the syrup or the uh uh bitters there's like a plum root beer bitters that they
make in town bittered sling is i think the name of the brand hey send us money we advertised you
yeah or a cease and desist if you don't want us to mention you. You're inviting it now.
Well.
So that does bring us to the end of this.
And Graham, what do you like in terms of a LaCroix?
Oh, I don't.
Here's what I do.
All day I'll just sit around and then all of a sudden I'll be like,
God damn, I'm thirsty.
And then I'll chug a bunch of water.
Why isn't my pee clear yet?
So dark.
So that's what I do.
Yeah, makes sense.
This brings us to the end of the podcast.
What would you like to plug?
What do you got coming up?
It's December.
So Merry Christmas, everyone.
Hope your trees are up.
Um, I guess I would plug in my Christmas tree.
Yes.
Thank you.
Um, 24 seven.
Uh, but also, uh, nasty women's got a show coming up.
Uh, we perform every third Thursday.
What is that?
I, uh, nasty women.
Yeah.
Oh, it's improv comedy by, of my BFF gal pal ladies.
We do very funny stuff.
It's at the Biltmore Cabaret in Canada.
If it's the third Thursday of December, that would make it the 19th.
Do you think that's going to happen?
I think it might be the second Thursday then.
Oh, okay.
All right.
Well, you know what?
Where can people check that out?
Where can people find the answer?
They can go to the Biltmore Cabaret website.
You will see Nasty Women Comedy.
It's going to be a Thursday.
I know that.
And if it's not, then write in.
Then complain.
Cease and desist all around.
What's on NBC on Thursdays now?
Must avoid the noise.
Oh, it's so good to see you.
I wonder if I could name one show that would be on NBC Thursdays anymore.
Yeah, it's probably like Beat Shazam or something like that.
Yeah.
It's probably that kind of, it's a lot of that type of programming is on.
Yeah.
Minute to win it.
The Masked Celebrity.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Chicken Tits. Chicken Tits. Yeah. That's more like, that's more like Fox. the masked celebrity or oh yeah yeah yeah chicken tits
chicken tits
yeah
that's more like
that's more like Fox
yeah
yeah
and thank you
you know what
thanks everybody out there
for listening to the show
if you like the show
please
tell your friends
and
if you don't like it
I don't know what to do.
But come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself.
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