Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 656 - Colt Cabana
Episode Date: October 13, 2020Wrestler and podcaster Colt Cabana returns to talk card collecting, eggs, and museum etiquette....
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Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself.
Woo!
Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 656 of stop podcasting yourself my name is graham
clark and with me as always is a man who's pretty stoked on his new blue jays mug mr dave shumka
yeah it's um so i bought this mug i guess uh maybe it went on sale after the blue jays season ended
yeah uh it's the kind of mug you put in the freezer and it's
it freezes whatever you're drinking or you pour you can pour warm stuff in it and then make them
fight each other cold and hot yeah you can make a coffee and ice coffee in it i don't know but
it's got a button you put it on the bottom and it's got three settings of flashing lights inside
the mug that i mean this has really got to be our screen cap for the
episode yeah what a time to be alive i remember wrestlemania 3 when cold wrestled hot
and that voice if you don't recognize it is uh one of our great friends here on the podcast
a man that you can see each and every week on tnt as part of aew it's called
cabana hi well i wouldn't say each and every week i don't get on every week but well that's a crime
no well no that's a different show on tnt that's a crime uh i feel la law or one of those la law
oh boy i haven't i haven't heard or thought about that and like since i was a kid is that not la law or one of those la law oh boy i haven't i haven't heard or thought about that and like
since i was a kid is that not la law ice tea is ice tea on la that's law and order on order oh
special victims you know what i'm talking about la law was like a lot of lawyers sleeping with
each other it was kind of like melrose place for lawyers yeah it was um it was very uh preppy yeah and stevie wait that was saved by the bell oh yeah
sorry it was preppy and uh slater yeah well screech was a lawyer and uh he he became a lawyer
to defend himself against his own sex tape did you watch any of la law evergreen i thought you were gonna ask if i watched any of the screech sex tape right also by the way screech was a pro wrestler for a little bit
what yeah he's kind of a jack of all trades you see there's nothing this guy can't do
stand-up comedian wrestler stand-up comedian and i had to i saw him at the club here in town and after the
show he uh he charged people to get a polaroid taken with him and he gave me this face like
you know show business he i'm gonna say he learned that from pro wrestling i'll be honest
right getting the polaroid that's a carny move right there uh should we get to know us sure
get to know us colt uh hi how's it how's it going over there in chicago i am in chicago
what do we what do we do we want to address that i fly every other week do you really every other week where do you fly to
to well where would you what was the place you would most not want to fly right about now oh
right about now the funks old brother probably rockefeller rockefeller skank of rockefeller new
york rochester new york rochester new york yes uh no where uh oh boy there's so many places i
wouldn't want to fly to.
You're not going to Arizona, are you?
Pretty close.
Texas?
Getting closer.
New Mexico.
Jacksonville, Florida.
Wow.
Yes, thank you.
That's where it's taped, I'm assuming?
That's where we film.
Yeah, we film.
So the owner of the promotion that I work for, his father owns the Jacksonville Jaguars.
And essentially the owner of our company, his name is Tony Khan.
He works for the Jaguar, owns a footy company like Fulham or something in the UK.
A footy company, doesn't he?
A footy company.
Governor? like fulham or something in the uk a footy company doesn't he governor um and he's you know he's part of the jaguars and he owns this company so like we wrestle
there's the the giant jacksonville jaguars nfl regular football not to be confused with footy
obviously or canadian football right um doug flutie so on and so forth yes good poll thank you warren moon would
be the only other one i have i think what about pinball clemens nope they never went to america
no but with a nickname like that you'd think it would spread beyond canada i was just gonna say
that's a great nickname i don't think ever used in wrestling and i will put that in my back pocket
yeah the other the other uh one from
that era great nickname in canadian football would be uh gizmo williams oh gizmo williams yeah
that's good that's really good stuff now all i'm thinking about is what other
obscure 80s i guess like chunk would be the other one chunk williams uh is he from uh the goonies did he play for the
gizmo is obviously from the gremlins no yeah he played for the edmonton gremlins
oh i hope that's what they changed their name to yeah they are going to change their name
yeah they haven't said it yet yeah about their we're gonna say it together we're just waiting to be in the
same room with each other you know wait do you guys have a like we have the washington football
team now yeah i guess we have the edmonton football team now but there's i mean this
league might not make it through yeah that's true oh just give a call to my good friend the rock
he'll buy any failing football oh sure he used to play on something some
team in calgary calgary the stampeters were they the stampeters or were they the uh calgary can't
buy me love oh boy hopefully is that the 80s movie i can think of on the spot. Thank you. Yeah. That's the, that's the front of mind.
My God.
Uh,
well,
there was the,
uh,
Saskatchewan breakfast club and their,
their,
uh,
star player,
uh,
basket case Joe.
Oh,
great song.
By the way,
basket case Joe.
By teaching Sean. Yeah. Oh, where were we? So you. Basketcase Jones. By Cheech and Chong.
Yeah.
Where were we?
You're going to Jacksonville, Florida.
Yeah.
And then we rest like right next to the arena.
There's like this like 5000 seat amphitheater, which is outside, which is really nice to wrestle in during a global pandemic.
Yes.
Yes.
If you're going to have to wrestle.
yes yes if you're gonna have to wrestle uh but i was like day one i was kind of flying and i was in the airport when like zero people were in the airport it was one of what i mean this whole thing
is a crazy site yeah but i didn't you know as a person who's literally gone to uh o'hare airport
for the past 15 years every single weekend and it's just packed because
that's what they are it was pretty wild to see it completely empty ghost town did security still
take forever yeah do you do tsa pre yeah i still went through clear
um now uh is there some sort of mechanism by which this league is testing people?
Yeah, they do a blood test.
Whoa.
They also look for drugs?
What's going on there?
It's not Dr. Acula, is it?
That's a fun Halloween poll.
Very nice.
No, they just test our blood, look for antibodies.
And luckily, I've been good.
I've been really, you know, a lot of these wrestlers, it's weird because maybe in comedy, it's like like-minded people.
But the wrestlers is just like grabbed a bunch of people from all different ways of society.
So some people maybe aren't as cautious you know cautious as maybe maybe i am so
it's a different it's a whole big pool of people but i you know i'm i'm i'm i'll mask on when i'm
home i don't want to go i don't want to go out of the door mask so that's what a lot of the wrestlers
are wearing masks these days yeah those are uh the luchadors the way, are making huge business right now. Oh, yeah, absolutely. Selling their mask as masks.
Love it.
I love it.
So you've been flying regularly.
You're getting tested, but some of the other people are not getting tested?
Or what's going on?
No, everybody's getting tested.
But is it other people aren't wearing their masks?
No, other people are just like party animals.
You're young, sexy wrestlers.
Yeah, we just signed a wrestler named Spuds McKenzie.
That guy rolls.
He always wears his sunglasses on the surfboard.
You've got to give Colt a break.
He hasn't had a TV in 25 years.
Yeah, I only Twitch now.
Yeah.
I have started Twitching. Yeah? Okay. Like just now, um i have started twitching yeah okay yeah i know i was just now
you've just started i was gonna say my dad's joke would be making fun of twitching but you
stole it from me thank you uh and then because like we we had nothing to do for so long obviously
that was something i started doing and then then I I'm watching people on Twitch.
Like it's TV.
Like that's like first is Twitch.
And then if nothing's on Twitch,
I'll check out Netflix.
Yeah.
Well,
there's nothing on TV.
All that's on is America's got talent and that's it.
That's the only show.
And they just cycle it through.
So you're not missing anything by twitching.
And my friend got,
uh,
I'd say illegally ousted from America's got talent illegally.
Uh, got uh i'd say illegally ousted from america's got talent illegally uh like the ref wasn't paying attention and some kind of shenanigans howie mandel used brass knuckles but he cleaned him
off real well beforehand um canadian bad boy john hastings oh yeah like went through to the second
round and then they just like never they were
like i don't think you should be on and he wasn't on again didn't they have like some weird thing
with a bunch of tv sets or like a bunch of people watching via zoom anyways whatever it's awful yes
but he said he just like did jokes to the production team fun as fun as you're gonna get
well at least he's not like sp spinning fire or something to nobody that would
how much would that suck if you did a magic trick there's nobody there to see it did it ever happen
he said his jokes were hot fire wow all right you are on twitch
get off twitch get on tiktok buddy that one kills on a stream so what is it so what do you do on
twitch are you gaming oh that's the thing i i'm not really into video games so i started off
playing these jackbox games oh yeah with slow down fans slow down what's that so okay they're
like interactive games. Party games.
Party games, yeah.
They're like Pictionary?
Yeah, that kind of thing.
And they're fun. They're really fun.
What's your favorite one, Colt?
My favorite is a game called Quiplash.
I love Quiplash.
And we do wrestling Quiplash.
Okay.
They'll give a prompt,
and it's supposed to do anything but you have to
fudge a wrestling answer
into the answer
this all sounds like it's on the up and up
when are you playing quiplash graham?
do you play it on the internet?
no I play it whenever I go to my parents house
we end up playing it
oh they break it out of the
they break it out of the attic?
yes they bring their tv down from the
attic and uh plug everything into it um yeah what's the other one what's the Pictionary one
there's Drawful I think Drawful there we go but those are good I want to like make everything a
wrestling thing if that makes sense okay so so tell me what for instance instance, how do you do wrestling quiplash?
What am I seeing?
Okay, it's a prompt, and it says...
You lost me.
Oh.
It's a virtual index card.
And on it.
He's back on board now.
Okay, yeah, sure.
Oh, information superhighway?
Okay, yeah, I know.
And Al Gore pops up, and he says, thisway? Okay, yeah. And Al Gore pops up and he says,
this is for you, friend.
His famous catchphrase.
I do have a t-shirt
that says that with Bart Simpson, actually.
As Al Gore.
How would anybody
know that it's Bart as Al Gore?
Well, it's like, in the Cowabunga
dude, famous Bart Simpson picture,
but it's Alor's haircut on a
bart simpson uh-huh and it says in quotations obviously i forgot what i yeah i also forget
the thing from five seconds ago as well oh boy you here you go dude i think it was here you go dude i can't believe you lost that election um so it was
stolen you do this how often this twitching i'm i would say four days a week holy shit for like
an hour or two yeah a lot of uh your leftists are trying to push like a four-day week of twitching
yeah four-day twitch week i've also moved to scandinavia
oh sure yeah congratulations for a four-day work week is that what that is yeah yeah yeah there's
no four-day work week for wrestlers right are you guys you're every night of the week oh no i'm once
a week oh you just do the one like so you fly down there you do one and then you fly back well we fly
down there we do one on on a Wednesday that's live,
and then we stay the next day, which is Thursday,
and we tape that for the following Wednesday.
And so we do two back-to-back, and then we're off for two weeks,
and then we fly back, and so on and so forth.
How many wrestles do you do in your two-day trip?
Anywhere from one to two.
Okay, yes.
That's all checked out.
I'm also a producer, which used to be called an agent but
is now called a coach so you are coaching you're in the corner distracting so two wrestlers have
a match and i first of all i say like what are you doing in the match and they tell me
we're wrestling yeah it's like i don't know hand-to-hand combat or whatever
and then i get on the headset and i tell the director like hey watch out he's gonna go outside
don't miss this shot oh okay so do you have signals or something or are you just saying
that out loud i'm i have a bold megaphone yes jimmy mouth of the south heart over here yes no there's like a headset and where
there's a bunch of um computer stuff that i don't know what yeah yeah you're you're talking to the
director and the camera people and everyone else i'm talking to them in the truck yeah and they're
like what chiron should we use there you go that's That's the one word I know. Yeah, sure.
Is that a color in Crayolas?
It's France?
It's anything that appears on the TV that's like text.
Yeah.
I think it was like a brand of text machine back in the day.
The Chiron machine.
I don't think they call it that anymore.
Well, that's their loss because it's an awesome word.
It is a cool word. Yeah.
It's good jargon. Russian? um it's russian yes sure yes i i chiron must destroy you in chiron texting look oh sorry dave got real mad at that no i didn't that was my yes go on
finish your thing face i figured i'd just bail out and blame it on dave
then finish it at all yeah yeah fair enough how many people are watching you on twitch do you know
or does it is it not go through to you okay so also tuesday nights i do a dungeons and dragons
stream with my wrestling friends and i've never played dungeons and dragons
before so how does that i'm i'm completely i know that dungeons and dragons people are made fun of
i don't know why because i've never played i don't know i've only played dragons
uh well so this was going to go to like i like at one point we had like 3 000 people watching
and i was telling some
of the other people,
the other guys that are on that are doing the Dungeons and Dragons with us.
And they were like,
Oh 3000,
that sucks.
And I was like,
no,
on Twitch,
like if you can get over like 50,
it's amazing.
Right.
So I have like,
I don't know,
anywhere from like a hundred to 200 people watching me whenever I do this,
which is like a really strong number,
which is kind of sad,
I guess.
I don't know.
So we had like 3000 people for this Dun dungeons and dragons stream and they were sad and i was like no that's like almost world record the super bowl yeah yes uh so we do yeah i i don't know
one of the wrestlers his character is a dungeon master okay like and he's like his wrestling
character is a dungeon wrestling character and he comes out with
like a giant like a 20 side die that's the size of a basketball does everybody want to beat up on
him when he comes out with that or like does the crowd get in on it too he says he's a good guy
if the dice say he is but if not bad guy oh there's an Andrew Dice Clay joke in there somewhere. Graham, you get it.
Yes.
Yes.
He's got snake eyes.
There we go.
Back on track.
Okay, fine.
Fine.
So you've never played Dungeons and Dragons.
Do you know what the rules are now that you've been doing it?
Not really.
ever played dungeons and dragons do you know what the rules are now that you've been doing it not really is anyone in your group of of are you the only one who's like new to it or does everyone
else there's seven of us uh the dungeon master knows everything and then two others that are
playing know it pretty well and then the other of us the other ones we're all kind of
pretty clueless but what is it like okay what the hell is it okay dungeon master yeah has this like
story in his mind and he's guiding it all of us are playing and we are just role-playing whatever
scenario we want and this guy the dungeon master kind of guides it.
He helps guide the story along.
And so we like,
like,
if I'm like,
I want to kill you,
Graham.
And then the dungeon master is like,
well,
roll a dice to see how effective your kill is.
Ah,
and then you roll a dice and he's like,
you didn't roll an effective kill.
So now you just kind of brush Graham's like chest and it didn't even hurt him.
Now,
now Graham's going to come back at you. Can of brushed Graham's like chest and it didn't even hurt him now Graham's gonna come back
at you can I brush Graham's chest
I know I'm sitting
on the sidelines but I know what I like
I like to get a feel of those
gazongas
and then
you're gonna stop short with Graham
yeah
that's my move you're driving a car
do you have the same like do you get to pick what
character you are yes so i picked um half orc i half orc half dork half dork
half mork
oh boy and all mindy
oh boy and so i named my character half orkington half orkington yeah and do like now that you've
been doing it every week are you getting better at it or are you still as clueless as when you
started yeah i guess i picked a bard which is someone who sings and
dances and i didn't know i didn't know that for the first three episodes so obviously the fourth
episode was a real heavy sing-song dancing with a thon by myself um i bet you as a kid if if
somebody around me knew dungeons and dragons i bet you i would have
loved it i'm a little surprised that you weren't around it no that's the ironic thing about it is
like you paint these uh society and and me uh we we paint these people as huge friendless dorks
but they have to have a group of friends to do it yes absolutely and
like i remember there was in calgary there was a comic book store and in the back people played
dungeon dragons but i didn't uh i didn't want to go back there you know what i mean because i was
a kid and i was scared you were a bard yeah yeah the comic book store always i guess i would go
there for there was one in chicago where i'm from, in the suburbs where I'm from, and it would have Dungeons and Dragons, Magic the Gathering, video games, and baseball cards.
Oh, yeah.
And comic books.
Yeah.
We had a store like that.
It was called Tramps.
It was very weird that, like, yeah, hockey cards, baseball cards were sold in the same place as like yugioh
gamers paradise it was called gamers paradise do you ever collect cards when you were a youth
yeah it was a big sports fan collector's card um what are we talking hyperdeck
oh well if we want to talk a little Canada. Opeche? A little Opeche, sure.
Actually, I'll do a plug for you guys.
My friend made this unbelievable baseball card documentary called Jack of All Trades,
and I'm in it for like two seconds.
Really?
It's about the demise of the baseball card system.
It was done in Canada.
I think it was on the Canada channel.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah. The one network we have. ball card system it was done in canada i think it was on the canada channel oh yeah yeah the one
network we have i want to say cbc but i feel that's not a real thing right cbc is a real thing
that's a but that's not like tell that's oh yeah i think i may have watched this document yeah yeah
i it might be on netflix here it was on netflix yeah yeah it's i recognize the uh lettering they did the top style right yes
lettering so like you collected cards as a kid with an eye towards selling them or just collecting
them for fun no i just as it's kind of funny because i really don't follow sports at all
anymore but as a kid i think because of video games i loved the you know the sega genesis and nfl nhl
and whatever jordan versus johnson the video game yeah that's not bad that wasn't it no no it was
lakers versus celtics there was a jordan versus bird game as well yeah i think there was early
versus johnson yeah and so just like i love. Cause like I knew all the players from base,
from the cards and from the video games.
Now I don't know anybody.
No,
I mean,
I know I've been following a pinball climates and,
uh,
Henry Gizmo Williams,
chair Williams.
So I also,
I remember I want like thinking to myself,
I should probably like comic books because I loved wrestling. Right. And I thought like that was the next step. And so like, I was like thinking to myself I should probably like comic books because I loved wrestling
right I thought like that was the next step and so like I was like I'm gonna get into comic books
and so I bought the married with children's comic book that's where everybody starts that was my
number one and I remember being like yeah I'm into comic books and then i bought the second one and i think that's where it stopped yeah two two issues i recently so my uh at the start of the pandemic
my parents were like cleaning out their house and they were like hey dave we have a bunch of
old hockey cards do you want them and i was like um no but i should go through them before
i i let you throw them away and so they just dropped them all off and I haven't looked at them at all.
And I'm like,
do I need to just buy like manila envelopes and fill them with hockey cards
and recycled?
Like what?
There's boxes and boxes of them.
And like,
I have a binder of everything from back then that might've been worth
anything.
Right.
So like a box of loose cards is,
is, has no value anyway
yeah leave it out in the alley but then i also uh a few weeks ago i saw that you could that like
10 or 20 years ago they made a uh dave thomas founder of wendy's uh hockey card where he's a goalie do you have that card i bought that on ebay
on what team uh it just has the nhl logo on it yeah the hamburgers
the bacon haters
the cleveland frosties um he uh what was his connection to hockey i think it was just i don't know i don't know it was just
like uh it was i think it was just made for me i was really scratched in it me and uh uh past
guest janie had had tompkins who loves wendy's she loves you know why i do you know i loved
wendy's as a kid they they which is so mind-blowing now the reason i would go to wendy's is because they had a nacho
cheese bar nacho cheese bar like nacho like they had a salad bar but for me it was a nacho cheese
not even nachos just the cheese i just and i remember just like filling just get unlimited
nachos and cheese heaven and it's a pump cheese I think it was a dip sauce from a plastic container.
Oh, yeah.
All right, yeah.
Well, now they have those, like, Coke Freestyle machines that are, you know, you can combine your nacho cheeses.
You can type in, well, I think I like a Dr. Pepper nacho cheese.
Oh, I thought it was like jalapeno, maybe a little spicy, but no.
What a treat.
They're the same as, like, 7-Eeleven nachos is what i'm picturing yes
or ball game nachos yeah arena nachos yeah the the i would be tempted to like
oh you know what i'm eating healthy i'm gonna go to the salad bar well put nacho cheese on my salad
so when you were collecting cards did you know anybody that kept them in like a plastic
case an individual card with like a screw down plastic case i well i had a cal ripken that was so
at the time 230 or something so valuable to a 12 year old that i remember i brought it to a card
show and this old man was just like i can't let you have it in this horrible case and like out of baseball card pride he gave me a screw
well let me finish let me finish a screw case
why didn't you sell it as a kid if you knew it was $230? Because it was going to be worth $10,000 when he was a grown-up.
That's right.
That's right, okay.
Because I remember going to one card show,
and my friend let me buy a stack,
like a huge 100-pack stack of Nolan Ryan cards,
and they were all just dedicated to Nolan Ryan.
And that couldn't be more worthless as i
walked up the door i think it diminished in value i don't the only things i saw i've i mean i had a
bunch in in cases and it or just like in the little sleeves and in the binder sleeves yeah
but i um the only thing i ever saw in a screw down case was a wayne gretzky rookie card right and that was that was
kind of like the action comics number one of yeah i think so in in hockey yeah are you aware of gary
v gary vaynerchuk that's right i mean uh that's the my full knowledge of him oh i think he played
defenseman on the nordiques yes yes uh no he he's like so my friend stew
stone who essentially uh made that movie jack of all trades he said that like gary v is kind of
like trying to and this is allegedly i don't want to get any trouble is is trying is allegedly
trying to like influence the card market because he's really he's like if you watch his tiktoks
or youtubes or whatever he's like trying to like push that like you gotta buy these and buy these
so then he can like sell his and get even more rich right so you know like the card thing they're
all worthless now right isn't that kind of the thing i mean if you have a uh what was the super expensive one from the like way onus wagner onus wagner
yes because he was on he they sold cards with cigarettes oh yeah he didn't want his card sold
a cigarette so it was very rare and and it was purchased i believe uh one of the most expensive Honus Wagner cards was purchased by maybe Wayne Gretzky and Bruce McNall,
who also bought the Toronto Argonauts Canadian football team with John Candy.
What a life.
Featuring Pinball Clemens.
John Candy was investing. Yeah, in Canadian football. Yeah yeah they had rahib the rocket ishmael
he has a rocket that's right i remember him uh he was into giant uh he was into canadian
football teams and giant pancakes like most canadians uh yeah so uh like you started collecting cards because you were a sports fan
when did you realize these all just needed to be tossed in the recycling and how did you handle
that because dave hasn't figured out how oh i'm the same way i i was like i it kind of stopped
for me probably in high school but i was like i'll put these away and then i will buy my mansion with these at a later time and i would say 10 or 5 years ago i started slowly finding friends with
kids and and just handing them off oh that's a good idea yeah and so you know i the same way
because i remember being maybe 10 years old and an older dad just being like here have all
these 1965 or 1970 baseball cards and my mind being blown yeah yeah and it was the greatest so
like i i think about that uh nostalgia i have when i when i give these cards to kids so i think it's
kind of cool yeah that's great that's a that's a good use of them i uh when i went to my parents house last i found a box of my baseball cards and they couldn't have been taken care of
worse they were jammed in a tiny box and they were all bent and wet yeah they were wet
i also i i feel i had garbage pail kids too oh Oh, yes. Oh, sure. Yeah. Did those make them to Canada? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We were, I think, because every week we record the show on Squadcast,
and you get to make your little username,
and Graham and I always have fun names, and the guest sometimes does.
Today, we all have fun wrestling names,
Hacksaw Dave Shumka, R graham rude and big cold stud nice um
but a few weeks ago i was i i went through the garbage pail kids like i every week i try to come
up with a different dave and so i was trying to come up with what the garbage pail kids daves were
and there were two or three i don't remember what they were there yeah there was was it something
like shavy dave or gravy dave or something gross like that
yeah no bathe dave no bathe dave that's pretty good there was pave there was paved dave who was
uh had like a uh a tire tread running through his head okay yeah there was uh
what is that there's's New Wave Dave.
Flock of Seagulls haircut.
I don't think they knew the difference between Punk and New Wave.
He's got a safety pin through his nose
and he's spray painting a wall.
And then there was Dirty Dave,
which I guess was in the 90s,
and it's the three members of Nirvana in garbage pails.
Was there a cult? um or colton uh there's bolton colton hey uh and he seems to be electrocuted nice um is it where are you checking
this on the international garbage pail database yeah yeah igdp igpdb um and uh yeah i think we went through the graham ones
too yeah well let's do it let's do them all round it up there's gotta be a ham ham in there
oh there's a very modern one that's instagram which is a uh guy a kid with a polaroid camera
head vomiting out photographs of vomit.
I think that's going to be tough to top.
And there's Graham Bell.
Yes.
Which is a bell.
When you were a kid, like...
I feel like I've been talking about Garbage Pail Kids for 35 minutes.
Sorry.
I just feel like I...
Because I turned my head away from this computer to look at things up
and now I my spatial
awareness is gone I do
want it to be noted that
besides seeing
Flintstones 2 Viva Rock
Vegas twice in the movie theaters
I also saw
the Garbage Pail Kids movie
in the movie theaters where it's a live
action yes yeah and
i remember even as a six-year-old it being one of the weirdest things i had ever witnessed who
was in that uh stinky scotty um graham bell it was it was like no kind of there is stinky scotty huh cool oh that is pretty cool um but yeah it was a live action thing with uh kind of like
right it was like henson puppets maybe yeah yeah it was it was disturbing no way jim henson had
anything to do with that though right no no chance are you kidding me he barely had anything to do
with teenage mutant ninja turtles he like when it's something to do with teenage mutant ninja turtles yeah he did the movie
those faces were henson you're thinking of of cory feldman yes i yeah correct i do get those
two confused all the time yeah i love feldman's puppets i say
time for the feldman show
are we filming in the feldman lot today
um i uh i recently i've i have a friend who went through some kind of program and is now
a puppeteer on a 12-step program.
That's the last step.
You have to admit that there's a higher power and then you're a puppeteer.
Yeah, there has to be a goal in mind
when you start those steps
and usually it's to become a puppeteer.
That's an incredible...
I have a friend also, I think hollywood who does that stuff and
it's like um it's it's like a mafia almost a union like it's very hard to get in yeah um
they have a jimmy hoffa unless your friend is just doing like street
puppeteering oh like freestyle give me some change puppeteering yes um i uh yeah i just think like as a kid if somebody told me that that was a job that that
was an available job that people could have i think it would have blown my mind what did you
think was when you were a kid what do you think was controlling the muppets i that's a good free will yeah free will i mean i just thought that there was the same like five guys that did every puppet show
like well you weren't wrong like half of them are voiced by frank oz
um so uh we really we went quite a distance on those cards and all that kind of stuff.
We have to feel like we got a real good squeeze.
I think,
yeah,
that's like,
I do feel proud when we don't ever really like find out anything about the
guest.
Well,
like practically speaking,
like,
I think we do find out something about the guest by what the directions we go. Um, Dave, what's going on with you? And, uh, like, I think we do find out something about the guests by the directions we go.
Dave, what's going on with you?
And, yeah, here's what's up with me.
So, have you ever had those sous vide bites from Starbucks, the egg bites from Starbucks?
Yes, I've had it one time.
I've never had them, but I was like, I saw this thing that was an egg cooker.
I do like, so I like to have an egg in the morning, soft boiled.
But the problem with a soft boiled egg is you have to have it with toast.
And then I'm like, you know, after a smoothie and an egg and toast, I'm pretty full.
Yeah.
you know after a smoothie and an egg and toast i'm pretty full yeah so i was like well i saw this thing that just cooks eggs in it's like an egg steamer so you you you basically you get an
egg you crack it you can mix it up and you make a little it's not sous vide but it is a little
just kind of an egg puck okay and. And you can shoot it at Dave Thomas.
Wendy's is doing breakfast now.
The nacho bar is still there.
Yeah, nacho breakfast.
So I bought this thing and I was like, okay, it's great.
You don't, because you don't need any like butter or oil to cook the egg.
Now, where did you buy this thing?
London Drugs.
Okay.
This was an in
person this wasn't something that you found like a targeted ad that knows that you like eggs no no
no it's a real i did see it on the internet and i was like oh that's interesting but it was in like
on like a food blog okay also you said london and before you said drugs i was like
okay also you said london and before you said drugs i was like london yeah i flew across the the planet to get this thing and the plug didn't even work i had to
anyway so i bought this thing and yeah i thought it was great because you don't
have any oil or butter you can just you know eat the egg uh in a little puff yeah puffy puck and i bought it and uh
uh i've made a couple now you're just putting in an egg are you throwing a little spices and
uh-huh you can do whatever you want that's right uh so you know you take an egg i put in some we
had we have like a little kind of herb garden that uh has survived this long nice so i put in some we had we have like a little kind of herb garden that uh has survived
this long nice so i put in some chives uh i put in some just you know salt a little bit of uh milk
okay because we don't have cream because who are we you know uh the aristocracy yeah exactly
um and so i mix it up and i put it in and uh you cook it and it's great because it
cooks in like 10 minutes and it smells like a giant egg fart all kitchen for it cooks in 10
minutes uh i would say it smells for two hours the The device gets very hot and does not cool down for about an hour.
Did you steal this script from Ron Perpeal?
Yes, I got it from Ron Perpeal.
And you said it, you do not forget it,
because the scent of the egg is with you all day.
It permeates everything.
So I've gotten to the point where I now
put it on the stove
and just have,
because there's the fan above the stove, I have to
have the fan going while I'm
making it.
And the
it's not, I don't like it
as much as a soft-boiled egg.
So this
reminds me, Dave. All that work.
Do you have a toaster oven?
No.
Oh, well, never mind.
Why?
What were you going to say?
Because I saw this on something years ago.
I bought mini muffin trays, like a metal one.
Put an egg in there.
I put my egg whites.
I'll put a little chicken, a little. Like a baby chicken. Like I just put an egg in there. I put my egg whites and like, I'll put like a little chicken,
a little,
like a tiny,
like a baby chicken,
like a baby chicken.
Yeah.
Tiny little guy.
Uh,
yeah.
And then I'll,
I'll cook it in the toaster oven and it makes those little pucks.
Yeah.
That's a good,
that's a good idea too.
Um,
I guess I don't know that I love the little pucks.
I've never,
I shouldn't have like,
I guess I do this a lot where i go all in on
something not knowing well your your love for the original real world yes we didn't have that here
but i get the reference thanks yep sorry your love for keenan thompson in the mighty ducks
was his puck two no but he shot a knuckle puck oh sure they're making a new um Kenan Thompson in the Mighty Ducks. Was his new puck?
Two?
No, but he shot a knuckle puck.
Oh, sure.
They're making a new Mighty Ducks in town at the moment.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Huh.
Well, COVID couldn't keep that great movie down.
So what are you going to do with this egg thing?
Put it out with the cards?
No, I guess Colt's got something.
Oh, it was the flying cove-id?
Nope, I didn't have anything.
Maybe. I guess I'll put it out with the cards.
No, I'm going to keep it.
The reason I liked it in the first place is it's very small.
Right.
So it's not like something that's very hard to store
and if i if i am craving eggs with nothing else i can just do that yeah i love eggs i i'm in the
egg there's a uh subreddit for eggs and i've joined it what kind of updates are people doing
with eggs people are posting pictures of eggs i have a gardening question okay is it
worth the squeeze like are you saving are you spending more on gardening stuff than saving on
eating it no i mean uh we don't we have like three herbs that we are growing and they, the ones we have, we have basil, we've got chives and we've got, um, boy, I want to say rosemary and they just grow like that.
You don't need to tend, you don't need to tend to them.
And they just, as the problem with like buying a little thing of chives, if I wanted them is it would be as expensive as this thing that's growing all the time.
So are you throwing it out?
Are you giving it to the neighborhood kids?
No, it's just fine in the dirt.
Does it go bad?
Eventually, I guess.
But it's good for the season.
The chives will just grow and grow and grow.
And then they don't grow.
And then you're done.
And then they come back next year.
Circle of life.
I'm just picturing you have buckets of chives and you don't use them.
We're not harvesting them.
Buckets of chives.
Yeah.
Like, I mean, I guess we could harvest them and sell them to, I don't know, the Wendy's
baked potato bar also i know just as
much about gardening as i do about dungeons and dragons um yeah i just know there's seasons i know
that and then sometimes that you put a burlap cover on things for the winter and that's yeah
gotta save your bulbs yeah and then i don't know yeah exactly um the other thing
that's been going on with me is i was in the mall the other day um and i saw yeah i saw it was not
was not a good mall um is that a is there a good mall anymore yeah mall of america is there a good mall anymore i was in the city center mall which is uh how would you describe it
it's uh because it's like used to be a part of city hall and they glommed on a bit of mall like
mall to either side of it so you go in and then like it's all 90s style looking thing and then
there's like these rock walls in the middle
i like that they just took the h of hall and bent it and now yeah it's city mall city mall right
and i don't know because they've got like a grocery store they've got a food court
and a bunch of just like non-mall stores like they don't have a you know like uh
claire's accessories or anything no but that's where i learned about beard papas oh yeah yeah
i was in i'm sorry what uh it's a cream puff uh business from japan i believe somewhere in asia
yeah yeah and it's got a little guy who looks like popeye with a beard and they're really delicious
yeah i never had one i was i was too afraid that i get addicted to them because they did look really And it's got a little guy who looks like Popeye with a beard. And they're really delicious.
I never had one.
I was,
I was too afraid that I'd get addicted to them because they did look really,
really good.
They are so good.
And,
and the cream inside is so cold.
It's P-A-P-A?
Papa's?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Definitely sounded like a kink of some sort.
Yeah,
it is.
I'm a bit of a beard Papa myself.
Right.
Right.
Um, but, uh, so as I was was, oh, they've got a gym.
That's the other big thing in the mall.
Oh, yeah, right.
And a few, like, dentist's offices.
I've been to physiotherapy there at one point.
Okay, well, I have a question about what I maybe saw entering the mall.
As I was leaving, there was a guy with a cart that had this giant kind of cooler,
but not cooler,
like a beer keg sized cylinder that looked like it had a locking top on it.
And it looked like it was keeping something very cold and outside on the
outside of it,
it said exempt human specimen.
So someone bringing in like a kidney or jizz
like that's if you go to like the sperm clinic and then they're like
we don't yours is bad but here's some on the house yeah
what's happening in the sperm clinic yours is bad
like it's somebody getting the news that there's spurs no good i hate yours yours sucks here take
one of ours um uh so i don't know if he was delivering something to the to your physiotherapist.
Be like, hey, someone's, you know, rotator cuff.
You sent it away in the mail.
We brought it back.
Do you think it was, like, we don't know what store it was going to,
or you think the physiotherapist?
It had to be some kind of medical thing, right?
Yeah.
But there are, there's doctor's offices in there, so maybe it was.
Oh, okay.
But even, like, if you were transporting any kind of organ thing, or even like a tooth,
you'd want it in some kind of giant container, right?
Even a tooth?
Yeah.
I've got kids who lose teeth.
You just put them in a little velvet satchel.
Yeah. And you keep going. Did he play for the Argonauts a little uh velvet satchel yeah and you keep oh did he
play for the argonauts yeah velvet satchel yeah well done very well done thank you how much does
a uh how much does a tooth go for these days um the first one went for five oh five dollars
and i was like well the first one that's probably going to be, it's a big deal.
You're getting, you know.
Five smackers.
I think the Tooth Fairy went all out for this first one.
But the next teeth, I'm sure the Tooth Fairy will go less.
Diminishing returns.
Let me explain about sunk costs.
Yeah.
The second tooth, a Toonie, you got a two dollar coin for that one and then between the
second tooth and the third tooth uh my daughter talked to her cousin and her cousin was like
oh i get five for every tooth yeah who's your tooth guy i gotta put you in touch with my tooth
guy so the third tooth that was another fiver oh i like how these kids have agents yeah yeah yeah
kids they're smarter they're smarter today than when we were kids all we were doing was collecting
stupid playing cards yeah also they don't know what to do with them like the money is nothing
like they don't have occasion to spend it yeah but i bet a i bet a kid as an american i bet a kid
would like love the idea
of getting a loony or a toony and saying both those things yeah they would love yeah it's it
is money all of our money is made for kids it's very colorful it's plastic and you can put it
through the washer dryer it's not gonna get wrecked we had uh the first week of, or no, like one week in June, we were still like homeschooling Margo at the end of grade one and no, end of kindergarten.
What grade?
It's so hard to keep track of what grade your kids are in when they're not going into the building.
And they were learning about money.
And so the first day, the lesson plan was they were learning about money and community
helpers which are whatever people who have jobs that help other people sure and so day one was
pennies and police officers and it was like the week of the george floyd protests and it was just
like two things that are like we are we're off abolishing yeah two things we
we do not need pennies or police anymore this is your lesson for the day i have a question about
canadian bills okay um so you know one dollar is like we like as kids you can like fold it and
would like i can make george washington who's the $1 bill, like look like he has a penis or,
uh,
he does by the way.
So I don't,
it was there any kind of lore that,
uh,
that Canadian kids did to,
to your bills.
Graham,
you want to take this one?
Uh,
the $5 bill you could turn,
um,
Oh,
what's his name?
Wilford Laurier. Wilford Laurier into Spock. If you did, uh, you got5 bill, you could turn, um, Oh, what's his name? Wilford Laurier.
Wilford Laurier into Spock.
If you did,
uh,
got it.
Well,
this is the new version.
You can't do it with this anymore,
but the old one,
you could draw the bowl cut and the ears and it looked exactly like Spock.
Nice.
So that was,
that was the go-to.
Yeah.
The,
the,
the Sharpies don't stick to the new money.
And the reason,
and he doesn't look the same And he doesn't look the same.
He doesn't look the same.
It's a different angle.
But have you ever done that game when Toonies first came out
that there's a polar bear on it?
And if you kind of cover certain things,
you can see like four penguins,
or you flip it a certain way, it looks like a dinosaur.
Oh, no.
But I remember when the
toonie came out it's it's a um it's two pieces of metal a silvery one and a goldy one on the inside
yeah and there was like people were like oh i bet you can separate them and people were trying to
figure out like you you know you put them in the freezer and you take them out and hit them with a
hammer and then you people were being very
dumb and then you don't have any money anymore right that's diminishing returns i feel
also it's pretty wild that everyone i just find that so weird that everyone knew these things
you all knew to draw spock on the five dollar bill when there was no internet yeah yeah that's true it did get
it just got passed around you know who starts that and then how does that spread although it'd be i
think like they call it spocking a five yeah and i don't think i would have known that without the
internet i think that's something that has just like you google that and there's you know twitch that there's buddy but i also like in that same
vein i saw a kid like a year ago on a playground saying na na na boo boo
and i was like where the fuck did she get that from that's from old times
stick your head in doo doo is that right yeah that's right that's the follow i didn't know that
one well you get on the
playground start spreading around it oh sure yeah well trick-or-treat smell my feet
how far oh as an american how far do you know that trick-or-treat smell my feet
give me something good to eat and can you go any further if you don't i don't care i'll
something you hold on your underwear yeah oh yeah, because we had a Canadian version.
Yeah, trick or treat, smell my feet, give me something good to eat.
Not too big, not too small.
Just the size of a duty ball.
Just the size of Montreal.
Home to the Canadian Football League, Montreal Alouettes.
That's right, the Alouettes.
Go Letts.
So that's me.
I found a human specimen and ate some eggs. that's a whole month as far as i'm
concerned i think the two things are maybe they're related to a fertility clinic yes
some of these things and that's a call back to the goonies the fertility cousins
it's okay none of this is going in the show.
Graham, what's up with you?
This past weekend, my folks came into town.
Really?
Yeah.
They came for a short visit.
They didn't say hello to me.
Well, they tried, but you know, these COVID times, it's so difficult to yell through a window.
You know what I mean? Wait, from Calgary? Yeah. Flew? Drove. but you know these covet times it's uh it's so difficult to to yell through a window you know
what i mean did they wait from calgary yeah flew drove drove yeah what's that drive 12 or 13 hours
that's a long drive for older folk right for older folk well older than graham yeah they're older
than me that's absolutely true um well i haven't haven't checked. I don't check in on their ages all the time.
So maybe they just stopped counting.
Maybe we're coming to kind of equal time.
But yeah, they came out here.
And usually there's like indoor and outdoor stuff to do.
But now there's no indoor stuff to do.
So you have to kind of use your imagination to figure out what you can do
in the outdoors where did they stay they stayed at an airbnb um it was used to be an armory they
said what is an armory i don't know where they put bullets and such a place i've spent way too
much time at really as a as a oh god I've wrestled in every armory ever.
Really?
Yes.
So what is it?
Just a big square room?
It's like there used to be war stuff there.
And that's where you would go.
If you were in the army or whatever, you would go there to kind of train and get ready to go off to war or whatever.
But they're not even really used, but they still like kind of train and get ready to like go off to war or whatever. But they're like not even really used,
but they still are kind of.
Okay.
But boy,
they love renting those out to wrestling promotions for $400 a night.
I'll tell you that much.
That's not bad.
So your parents were garrisoned in an armory.
Yes.
Yeah.
They slept in a ring that was left there by another wrestling promotion.
And so I just had to figure out like fun things to do or just anything to do that was outside um so was it
nice weather this weekend it was it was very nice oh good that's just dumb luck because it could
have been just like raining and then we'd all just have to sit in my apartment.
Do you want to watch me Twitch?
Mom,
let's play quiplash.
Oh,
we should have done that.
Yeah.
Bring quiplash next time.
So one of the things that the one thing you could could do that was an indoor thing was if you make
if you want to go to the art gallery they have like you sign up for a time and they only let
like 10 or 15 people in the whole art gallery at once yeah so uh it's funny i can't remember what
one of the displays was i walked through it i looked at every single thing can't remember what one of the displays was i walked through it i looked at every single thing can't remember what it was but there was a design like furniture design exhibit from stuff from the 40s
and 50s and uh that something happened that i i've never seen before because you know security is in
every room of a gallery or a museum and i've never seen them have to do anything except maybe say like step back from the the painting yeah uh there
was a guy there was a man who was in the museum and he kept picking things up and the the security
guard i don't think he knew what to do with it it was so crazy and the security guy came over and
said you could please put that down that's part of an exhibit and then he put it down and then he picked up another thing he's like well what is this and uh yeah it was
it was wild did he like have to radio to the other security guards being like uh we got a bogey
coming in yeah yeah i'm not sure what's happening here but i mean was this man older yeah but not
like not a senior he was he was like probably 50. Wow.
Yeah, it was, I've never seen anything like it.
It would be like somebody just adjusting a frame on the wall.
Is it like, do you think it's because of the like staggered entry where he's like, well, this is, I'm, this is my time.
Yeah, I can touch whatever I want.
Yeah.
Yeah, but it was.
Cole, you ever go to that Ferris bueller museum and uh touch the
cameron fry painting no but i have been called the sausage king of chicago okay nice pretty good
um yeah the uh anyways i've never seen that before it was wild um and uh and what did you follow him around yeah i think he was asked to leave oh really
yeah because they never saw him after that so i'm pretty sure they they security guards they're not
like they're not strong but can't like drag you out no no but you know a group of them it's like
you know one snowflake not so scary but a whole snowflake creates a
blizzard do you think he was casing the joint like he was picking up stuff that he thought
maybe i'll come back later and pick it up yeah maybe at night yeah if they let me do this who
knows what they'll let me do later i got to second base with this exhibit yeah exactly i'm gonna fall asleep in one of these uh
1940s plywood chairs what a cool exhibit do you have any bunk beds
um and uh uh so there was there was that and then we were walking around and when we went
into the art gallery, there was one,
because like the art galleries where a bunch of like protests will meet or marches will
start.
It's sort of like our town square.
Yeah.
It's like our town square.
So there was a.
It's like a city center mall.
Yeah.
It's like a city center mall.
It got a Beard Papas.
Yeah.
And an A&W.
What does that stand for what's that said for
ah uh i saw a very successful tweet someone had about what that stood for
i believe if memory serves oh god stands for hamburgers and whoop beer yes thank you
um the uh so
when we went in there was
uh like it was a
uh gathering dedicated
to i want to say algeria
um but you know
flags and music and all very kind
of everybody on the same
page and then when we got out they
had gone and what was
in its place was an anti-masker rally so i don't know if you want to sign up for time slots
yeah i mean if you're part of a drum circle for one group do you just and you just like
drumming do you keep drumming for the next group yeah you're like the house drummer yeah spot yeah
you're like clito and the clitones at this point work is work
right yeah yeah yeah exactly and uh so we went there we went to stanley park that's another
outdoor uh excursion you can go on around the wall and uh you know what here's the thing i saw
i saw uh two women one was rollerblading and the other one was roller skating
and i realized in that moment how much cooler roller skating is than rollerblading yeah yeah
why did we think rollerblading was cooler in 1991 didn't gretzky wear them or something i mean it's
more they're more like skates yeah they are more like skates. Yeah, they are more like skates. Roller skates are their own thing.
Wait, hold on, hold on.
I feel Graham just said roller...
Which one did you say was cooler?
Skates.
Yeah, roller skates with the two and two
instead of four in a row.
Yeah.
I mean, rollerblading is faster?
It's faster.
But where are you going?
Yeah, and where are you going
if your friend is roller skating?
You're not going to go way down the path.
You're,
you're supposed to be doing this together.
This is another activity.
As a kid,
I loved playing street hockey on roller skates so much that doesn't count
within this context though.
Right.
Were you playing on skates or blades?
Roller blade,
roller blades.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's,
that's a,
that's an appropriate use of the blades
you're just saying now in a park if two people are going skates yeah roller skates is cooler
okay that's i mean i know that's a bold proclamation but i mean sure uh uh does the
armory ever host roller derby well you left this was the big news my parents had that was prompted by this the roller skating
rink in calgary the last remaining one closed oh lloyd's rollercade closed after all these years
after all this time they made it to 2020 where are the kids gonna get their first kisses now yeah
yeah where's my band gonna play covers uh kids can get
their first kiss at the uh art gallery and they join in the square they do the world's most people
kissing at once yeah uh graham where do you put heelys on that list oh these are so cool and i
wish i had them when i was a kid it's the one big thing like light up shoes and helis weren't around they weren't an option
for me no i i remember being in the airport so much and just remembering like going from terminal
to terminal took so long that i wanted to get a pair of helis just for my airporting experiences
what's the biggest size of helis they make i looked it up i looked it up and i think it was a nine and i was an 11 and a
half so close so close what was the cool like as far as i remember the coolest shoe thing in terms
of like a feature like that when i was a kid was these kangaroo shoes that's what i was gonna say
i said that exact same thing i had a the tongue was velcro and it opened and you could put coins in the tongue
and close them up yes yes that's exactly what i thought i don't think i owned a pair of these
but i owned a pair silver and maroon which was a real 80s color palette
uh and the other thing that happened because i've been home so much i've i've figured out the
the weird little things that are going on in the neighborhood around me uh there's one guy who's uh
trimming his head every week which is more than a hedge needs i think oh that plays like a marimba on sunday nights and uh there's somebody
who lives beneath me who listens to the law and order watches law and order all the time because
i think you probably have tnt you're probably in a hotel room and it's too much trouble to change
channels but here's here's what's going on that shocked me is uh when i when
i take out the recycling of cans and bottles put them in a bag for there's lots of can collectors
that come up and down the alley right and so i put them out specifically for those can collectors
that's who i think that's their domain yeah and i saw a man from across the alley who
lives in a house walk over pick them up and throw them in his car whoa hey it's that's it's tough
times buddy yeah man can collectors come in all shapes and sizes i was just shocked i was shocked
no there's it's unemployment there's a pandemic people are getting on twitch they're taking other
people's cans because the can collectors like when i was a kid i i thought of a can collector and i
guess they're the it's probably still it's just like you know uh it's someone who's fallen on
hard times yes but as an adult in my old neighborhood, can collectors were all, they seemed to be older
Asian people who maybe it was there.
They lived with their kids and this was just their pastime, like make a few bucks, get
up early in the morning.
Get out of the house.
Yeah.
Question.
So when I went to college in Michigan and I think it was like either five or 10 cents
you'd get for a can, but in Chicago you don't get any money. I mean, maybe you go to the recycle center, but it was like either five or ten cents you'd get for a can but in Chicago you don't get any money I mean maybe you go to the recycle center but it was like you could go to the grocery store
and there was a machine that would give you money back is that that's not in here here there's
there's return at depots they call them uh and there you can go to the grocery store I think and
uh you talk to customer service and they'll help you out and give you money for it.
Yeah.
But like,
there's no machine.
And also it doesn't say on the can,
like this is worth five cents.
Yeah.
Yeah,
it does.
And it charges you when you buy.
But Michigan famously is,
is I think you get more.
Yeah. Maybe 10 cents.
Wasn't there a Seinfeld about like making the trip to Michigan to get more
money for their, um, is there, um, a garbage pail kid Seinfeld about like making the trip to Michigan to get more money for their,
um,
is there,
um,
a garbage pail kid Seinfeld?
Gary,
Jerry,
let's find it.
Sign smelled Truman Newman.
Uh,
oh,
my internet's down,
which is weird. Cause i'm talking to you
oh wow i mean i i didn't look up seinfeld but i did look up
uh jerry yeah there's scary jerry which seems to be a mouse
like from tom and jerry cutting its way out of a
a cat's stomach okay uh there is a um Jerry bomb, which is a kid sitting on a toilet while it's exploding.
Yes, this rules.
And there's a very wrinkled man named Jerry Atrick.
There we go.
We got three bigs.
Well, do we want to move on to a little bit of business?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, everybody, it's Jumbotron time.
The best time of year.
Now, this week, we've got a message from somebody who wants to say,
somebody who wants to say watch some of my saved videos on twitch.tv slash the real wobbly chair the real wobbly chair this is a this is like mid-century furniture this is like cult twitching
it's everything we talked about yeah they also like uh the regular chair got the
name uh wobbly chair and then you had to put real wobbly chair in the front like donald trump had to
do now the message uh this week is is this one strap yourselves in i used to stream slide whistle karaoke on twitch yes it proved to be slightly
popular amongst a few random people on the internet i promised my listeners that at 500
followers i would play slide whistle until i physically died that number came and went no slide whistle death stream i was terrified to admit
that i had never intended to die i was a fraud i am sorry please watch my backlogged videos at
twitch.tv slash the real wobbly chair and send suggestions to the real wobbly chair at gmail.com.
That's the message.
Yeah.
So let's open up your ears and your hearts and accept it.
If you didn't catch it,
rewind and listen again.
Now,
should we move on to some overheards before that?
If you would like a jumbotron message,
uh, like that one,
or whatever you want, we'll say it.
We're your puppets.
Go to MaximumFun.org slash Jumbotron. you like them maybe you wish you had more time for them maybe you want to know the best ones to play maybe you want to know what happens to mario when he dies in that case you should check out triple
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sure you do once a week kickback as three video game experts give you everything from critical
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get your podcasts and listen at maximumfun.org bye overheard overheard's a segment where boy oh boy if your ears are peeled maybe you are lucky enough
to get one also eyes also dreams i don't know how far it goes now graham uh shut up it's time for my
favorite segment on the show uh i just uh found an even better garbage pail kid jerry oh i love this
segment um uh we were trying to find a seinfeld garbage pail kid yeah yeah i have since found
harry jerry and it is uh it's it's like a well i mean i guess it's supposed to be kramer he still
has this garbage pail kid face though and his hair is up and vertical the way Kramer's is,
but there's a Jerry,
a George and an Elaine all kind of peeking their heads through this rules.
So the name that I thought of was,
and in my cartoon,
it was a woman and she had like all this beer and she was drinking it.
But then I realized it was a real name,
but it was Elaine Boosler.
That's a real name. That was my garbage pail kid name. But then I was like, Oh i realized it was a real name but was elaine boosler that was a real name that was my garbage pail kid name but then i was like oh wait that's a real name lame boosler i think they generally like yeah are more of a pun right yes yes
or rhyming rhyming is good um naughty scotty now uh cole do you have an overheard i do so i was at an applebee's and i
was in the washroom when a man and his child walked into the washroom uh and then the dad
was trying to get his kid to go to the bathroom and he was kind of not doing it and then he said something and then remember as
he said it he made himself laugh so hard which i loved and he was going come on he goes do you
want to go pee do you want to go pee pee do you want to go apple beep beep beep
and then he yeah he made himself laugh and i he didn't know i was in the bathroom
oh man he accidentally stumbled upon some real fantastic work that's fantastic
uh could could that be a garbage pail kid that kind of rhyme apple bbp yes absolutely it's just a waiter at applebee's uh peeing in the buffet is that what
applebee's is it is a buffet no not in the nacho buffet oh delicious we did we go to an applebee's
when we went to portland yeah that sounds right was it applebee's or like what's the other one
applebee's chilies texas roadhouse ruby tuesday tgi fridays right uh i think it
wasn't applebee's because that sounded like the funniest thing we could do yeah aside from finding
a cracker barrel yeah oh boy or uh old country buffet that's the one i was thinking of old
country buffet um dave do you have an overheard sure i do why wouldn't i
um so the other day i was in a london drugs it's a drug store uh pharmacy type everything you want
in a drug store yeah that's true no that's shoppers drug mart damn it uh london drugs i
don't know what their slogan is but they're think they're better than Chopper's Drug Mart.
Yes.
Yeah.
London Drugs rules.
But they don't have zest, which is what I need to know I'm zestfully clean.
Yes.
Now, they have a post office.
They have photo developing.
They have car insurance and as i was uh leaving these two women
walked up to the car insurance booth and they just said to the guy behind the counter
we'd like to trade vehicles and the guy just went excuse me
it's simply not done you you're born with one car and you die with one
but i imagine he's like i don't know how to do that like trade vehicle like you can can you each
just buy each other's for a dollar is that probably what they ended up what's the conversation that
would that's what i'd like to know i'm kind of with him yeah like oh i hate my subaru oh i hate my kia yeah i have a motorcycle
and i have a sidecar but i can we trade them yeah i sold my sidecar to buy you this motorcycle yeah
hey you guys have any interest in swinging well let's just start with the cars first
i mean we'll do a key ball we'll just put both of our keys in
but like yeah i guess there's i mean every every car is kind i guess they're not all the same but
every like brand of cars makes it equivalent to another brand yes yeah you could buy the twenty thousand dollar
kia and trade it for the twenty thousand dollar mazda yeah and nobody's any the wiser
um my overheard is courtesy of the art gallery where a couple of women i'm guessing i'm ball
parking both in their 50s and uh one of them said to the other oh you gotta get on tiktok i
can spend a whole hour on it
my my friends went viral oh i know these guys they picked you up they're from here yes yeah
the two vinky What does this explain?
I'm in the dark.
That's right.
They came to your house.
Yeah.
Last time you were here, they picked you up.
They're two wrestlers, twin wrestlers from Vancouver.
Who are Hungarian.
What's their name?
Right.
The Voros twins.
Yeah.
And what did they do?
There's this little, you know, the thing on Instagram stories or whatever, where it says
like a thing on your forehead and you have to guess it right so or like it's a question and
it's just i don't know it's meant for dumb content it was like who painted the mona lisa
and their guess was mona lisa and then the answer was da vinci and they could it didn't say it out
loud they just read it and they both simultaneously go da vinky and then somebody cropped that put it on the internet and then they were on
i don't know letterman the next day or something great reference by
letterman's twitch stream they're on dick cavett
um now in addition to our overheards we also have overheards sent in from all over the place if
you want to send one to us you can send it to spy at maximum fun.org um and this first one
uh come on stop scrolling uh i this is from sarah this first one hi sarah dave here hi sarah uh gravy dave here um
davey davey diarrhea wavy
i i work part-time in a supermarket we constantly get asked by customers where stuff is in the shop.
At work yesterday, a man approached my colleague, Phil, and said,
you look like a fella who would know where the Vaseline is.
Oh, gee.
Whenever I'm in a grocery store, I am always thinking to myself,
like, why can't I find the peanut butter?
Like, I always use that phrasing.
Why can't I find the peanut butter like i always use that phrasing why can't i find the
popcorn right and i'm i always if i ever talk to anyone i know i have to not ask it that way
right like why can't i find the popcorn because then they'll be like because you're a fucking
idiot because you're a fucking idiot yeah especially if you were asking where the vaseline is
because you're a fucking pervert yeah why can't i find the jurgens handbook yeah but
vaseline no guy can buy vaseline without that being a hundred percent everybody's perception
but is it that like vaseline petroleum jelly yeah or the old uh that would come in a tub
yeah yeah yeah i don't know what people use that for when i was growing up in calgary
you put it on your lips when it was freezing cold out yeah yeah yeah i'll also boxers after
they get punched a bunch that's true but i don't know if people use it for masturbating uh i think
you can use anything for masturbating you You know what I like to use? My imagination.
This next one comes from Joel from Wisconsin.
We were at an apple orchard for pick your own
apples. As we were standing in line to pay
for the apples, I overheard a lady
behind me scolding her misbehaving
child. She said, if you don't sit down right
now, I am putting these
apples right back in the tree just a just a totally empty threat do you ever your parents
give you an empty threat like that yeah give you something to cry about or something like that i do
it all the time oh yeah what's your go-to i don't know it's like yeah it's like
if we are ever let them have the ipad like we're giving the ipad to give us a break but then we
threaten to take it away and then we don't have a break anymore that's right who is this punishing
uh cole do you ever uh cross state lines and go apple picking in Wisconsin? No, but I'm supposed to go literally this week for like the first time ever.
Where?
Apple picking?
Yes.
Somewhere in Illinois.
Oh, Indiana, actually.
Yeah.
Why do you know state lines?
Or just because this person was in Wisconsin.
Oh, that makes sense.
I think when we went to Chicago and you took us to a deep dish pizza and um a hardware store that
became an arcade yes uh we also went to the sears tower and it had you like it showed us that you
could see different states from the top of the sears tower well there you go we love we love it
and you saw apples yeah we could see the apples from
the top floor.
You saw Matt Damon.
Cole, why are you going
apple picking for the first time in your life?
Obviously, a
female has suggested it.
Yes, but you know what? Maybe there's
maybe it's a good place to pick up ladies because they
love it.
And
just hang around long enough. You want me to pick up ladies because they love it. And she just hang around long enough to pick up my girlfriend who's taking me to apple picking.
Tell us about your girlfriend.
No.
Okay.
Fair.
This last one comes from Kelly from Nanaimo.
I was in Tim Hortons with my daughter.
At the time, they were selling smile cookies.
Dave, you know these smile cookies, right?
Buying for charity?
Oh, yeah, they're for charity.
I don't go to Tim Hortons.
My daughter wanted a smile cookie, but by the time we got to the front of the line,
the entire tray was sold out.
The staff seemed exasperated by this, like they were having a hard time
keeping up with all the demands for these cookies.
As I was waiting for my drink, i overheard one of the employees say
we should have a frown cookie and people pay for it with their life
there is something to having a frown cookie yeah but obviously not paying it with your love but i think there's something fun there that's
kind of cute yeah frown cookie if you uh yeah you have to ask nicely or else you get the frown cookie
right or uh international canadian opposite day
this is the day in which we don't listen to avril lavigne yeah
oh i hate opposite day because i gotta have my avril life's like this
uh i had a bart simpson avril lavigne shirt that said gotta have my avril
was he wearing a tie yeah uh yeah it tanked off yeah the hair straightener that was the coolest
fucking look when she first hit the scene i was like she's so cool
god damn it that's cool wearing a necktie without a collar she's never not been cool since
yeah she made lyme disease cool so check that out yeah good good luck with that uh michael j fox did
he also have lyme disease in addition to parkinson some somebody else though another canadian oh justin bieber
justin bieber got lyme disease boy i feel like michael j fox also had lyme disease
i mean you know what don't go sleeping out in a park without i don't know what how do you get
lyme disease you just go to a camping and then you get it? Yeah, it's ticks, right? Hmm.
But like, is that just a risk of anywhere outside kind of thing?
I don't know.
I just got scabies last week.
I got cooties.
What?
Did you really?
Yeah.
What is scabies?
I, I, okay.
I, I did go wrestle in Alaska.
Okay.
Uh-huh.
And I, we, we stayed at this really awful hotel and, uh, of course there was like little go wrestle in Alaska. Okay. And we stayed at this really awful hotel.
And of course, there was like little bed bugs in there.
Oh, shit. I just had to get like topical cream and it was gone after one thing.
But I recognize it because I had had it before from like years of sleeping in bad hotels.
Is it just a skin condition or it's not bed bugs?
I think it's like bed bugs.
It's like bugs burrowing
into your skin.
Ugh, good luck.
So it looks like,
it looks like,
it looks like chicken pox.
Ah!
This is disgusting.
I mean,
this is worse than
Garbage Pail Kids.
It's worse than Lyme disease.
I would take scabies
over rabies.
Yes.
Well, I don't know.
What about,
would you take scabies over rabies. Yes. Well, I don't know. What about, what about, would you take scabies over babies?
Interesting.
I guess I have babies and I've never had scabies.
Never had rabies.
So I, you know what?
I can't really judge until I've had all three.
Yeah, that's true.
So get out and start petting some dogs.
In addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept phone calls if you want to call us do it use your phone 1-844-779-7631 that's one
spy pod one like these people have oops sorry here we go hey guys i was just calling in with uh overheard overseen quarantine kids edition
my son was holding our cat upside down and i said what are you doing and he said
i'm taking his lunch money all right thanks bye
bullying from home yeah when he said the quarantine is what do you say quarantine kids
yeah yeah that just i made me giggle because it was like the burger king whatever they were called
burger king kids club yeah the quarantine kids club i think i think i thought it was the quarantine
comma kids edition oh but that's how i put it together yeah it's a real good saturday morning cartoon yeah like i was yeah like captain planet yeah
exactly or what was the theme song for flintstones vitamin we're flintstone kids
we're quarantine kids 10 million strong and growing did you did bullies actually take your take anyone's lunch money when you were
a kid yeah i was i was bullied to the point uh one time where i had to give because i was carrying a
wallet as a as a kid what was in that what's an eight-year-old but you know i remember a bully
taking it taking it away from me and there was nothing i
could do i would usually just take their baseball card all right here's your next phone call hi
david and gran this is ollie from saint paul minnesota calling in with an overheard um a few
years ago my husband and I were on vacation in Chicago
and we were walking through
the Wicker Park neighborhood
when we passed by a
group of young women, probably
in their 20s, going the opposite
direction. And as we walked
by them, I heard one of them say
to another, I can't even
imagine dad with a butt.
I still think about it all the time.
Thanks.
That's where I used to live for 12 years.
In that guy's butt?
You lived in Wicca Pack?
Out of the way. Yes, Wicca Pack.
You packed a car in Wicca Pack?
Packed a car in a man's butt.
You ever seen that movie, Wicker pack with josh hadn't it
diane kruger i remember moving to wicker park and being like i should probably see that movie and
and i never did well the erotic thriller i only saw the one where he didn't have sex for a bunch
of days yeah boy like oh yeah what was that called? My 20 year old penis or something like that?
My so-called
penis.
Starring
Shannon Sossaman.
And here's
your final overheard.
Hi, this is Cindy
Calling from Florida
With an overseen
I saw a sign
Like a billboard sign
On the side of the road
That was advertising
For fill dirt
And it said
Clean fill dirt
For sale
Call Gordy Singh
The Dirt King
Off I go Oh, that rules for sale. Call Gordy Singh, the Dirt King.
Off I go.
Oh, that rules.
Gordy Singh could have been any kind of king. It would have rhymed
no matter what, but he chose dirt.
The Dirt King. I love it.
And that's one of the most popular
Indian names, right?
Singh? I mean,
sure, yeah. It's not a popularity
contest, as far as i'm concerned we
don't do the census so we can't really say one way or the other but i'm saying like i think that's
the first time i've heard like some person named sing being a king of advertising you know in
advertisement yeah that's true it's it seems like something you would see at two in the morning on a hotel television you know is the
is burger king not owned by gordy sing
um well uh that seems like it's well we're here at the end of the episode it seems like it it does
right uh colt what would you like to plug over there?
Well, you know I'm plugging that Twitch, baby.
You better be.
What is it?
Where can people find you on Twitch?
Colt Cabana, stream with me.
Come on.
Yeah, come on.
What, you're too good for this all of a sudden?
I'll give the guy on a Jumbotron a raid.
That's what we do on Twitch.
I don't know if you knew that.
No, what is that?
That means I'm done with my Twitch stream. I'll send them all over to you ah fun community community of twitch so yeah i
gotta see that slide whistle yes uh twitter and instagram at cold cabana i'm on aew television
uh to uh wednesday nights i don't even know what night i'm on. I'm on TNT. We know drama. Also, uh,
uh,
my podcast came back.
My podcast came back for a season.
So I,
where was it?
Where did it go?
Uh,
it was, um,
in an apple orchard in Wisconsin.
Last place you look with your girlfriend who doesn't exist from Canada.
That's what we used to say
um and it's called the art of wrestling i sit down basically i started in 2010 and i sat down
with different wrestlers in locker rooms all over the world in person and talked about uh the triumphs
and mostly the uh the what's the reverse triumph failings the failings sure you ever had screech y'all get screech
i've never he's too big of a get that's my lord that's my lauren michael yes that's oh sure yeah
that's my gallagher come back screech what um uh would do we want screech on this show graham
uh i just, yes.
How long would we be able to have him for before?
Before we're like, this isn't working out?
Before I would reach for the Vaseline.
Not long, not long, my friend.
I also have a children's book.
Oh, yeah.
I will sign it to your child.
I signed it to your child i signed it to your child child yeah she loves it oh she loves learning about all the people who didn't want you to wrestle and how
you overcame them yeah what a story what a story um and said it's called wrestling dreams and i
will sign it and sell to you at Colt cabana.com. Nice.
Nice.
Um,
Dave,
do you,
you got any plug over there?
Hmm.
I guess,
uh,
I'm playing a Jack box with a bunch of,
uh,
wrestlers.
Uh,
it's me,
Andre,
the giant.
And,
uh,
you know,
uh,
boy,
Floyd and, uh, uh, uh, boy, uh, the know, No, I don't know. Boy Floyd.
And, boy, the big stinker.
The big stinker, yeah.
The lunchbox.
We're doing, you know,
Scattergories and Cranium.
Scattergories.
We're playing Mega Cranium on Twitch.gov.
And I'm rubbing their butts and it's great.
Virtually, we put on an Oculus Rift.
I put on the Power Glove
and we do a butt rubbing game
and it's unexpected and unparalleled.
And as always, you can find me online
pissing my pants.
Go to pantspissup.com.
Happy Canadian Thanksgiving to everybody.
Oh, boy.
Well, thanks so much, everybody, for listening.
We love doing this show for you.
I hope you're safe and secure wherever you are.
And please come back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself.
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