Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 667
Episode Date: December 28, 2020Dave and Graham wrap up 2020 with a Q&A call-in show featuring a whole bunch of listeners....
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Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself.
Woo!
Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 667 of Stop Podcasting Yourself.
My name's Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who he had a great Christmas and he cannot wait for New Year's Eve, Mr. Dave Shobka.
Yeah, inquiring minds want to go...
Pardon me.
A little hubris with my drink uh acquiring minds want to know
should old acquaintance be forgot yes uh what are you doing new year's eve
this will be our year is that rufus wainwright rufus wainwright yes thank you
the big wayne um yes it's our new year's eve episode yeah rocking new year's
eve episode ever since dick clark died we're allowed to use that phrase yeah so go to um i
guess like look at how long this episode was back time it from midnight on new year's eve and we'll
see if we even remember to do a countdown oh that would be the best if we didn't we won't yeah we won't we'll forget uh do you want to get
to know us yeah get to know us all right so what's happening this week uh we're actually
recording this before christmas but graham did a good lie and said i had a great
christmas thank you good lie thank you good lying and then um uh but we've got uh we're gonna have
a q a episode we've never done this before no we've once we did a a thing as the card guys
yeah people called in and we were just talking about cards but this is a full this is a departure
and we and we in that one we were in the same room so we tried to like uh just like hold a phone
we did everything through a phone now we're we're zooming and who's i mean the question is obvious
i'm not gonna even ask it so uh so we're gonna be taking calls and uh we're
also gonna answer some questions that people wrote in it's just gonna be like put on your glasses
that are the year 2021 that's right and you know repurpose the 2000 ones that you have and just uh
you know write 21 on the end or you know maybe a 2002 one you could switch the numbers that's true
2000 you know these are all to save you know to reduce reuse recycle right yes yes yes the three
r's and arithmetic um but yes what we've got uh um i forget what i was gonna say but it was
it was like one of these new year's eve things so go ahead riff on that uh you know me and all my friends are gonna do the time warp dance i don't know
if that's a new year's eve thing have you ever had a pair of those glasses have you ever gone
out for new year's eve i um maybe when i was in my 20s i went out to like you know stand amongst thousands of people as they looked at fireworks
and that sucked it was the worst because it took me forever to get in took me like triple the time
to get out and uh you know it's cold it's it's cold as new year's eve oh sure um i think i went
to a few parties and i was really and like people, oh, let's go to some event downtown or whatever.
And I was always relieved when those plans broke down and we didn't have to go anywhere.
Yeah, I think when I was in high school, I think I went to a New Year's party and everybody was trying to figure out who was going to kiss each other at midnight.
And I think I made out okay.
I think I did okay i you know above my weight for sure but uh you know i it was
i could have done worse let's just say that i could have done much worse and
and your partner could have done much better right you're okay um are you uh yeah those negotiations i think i was at a party where we were all deciding who was gonna kiss whom and
negotiations broke down somebody took a hostage but yeah you know like the the hallmark of a good
negotiation is if uh both the parties end up unsatisfied yes that is that is the uh perfect outcome that you're
hoping for um do we want to ask a uh do we want to answer some of these questions before we get
any calls uh yeah let me just bring them up all right i'll i'll read i'll read the first one here
this one's from jeremy f hi jeremy happy new year how often do you and graham talk to each
other outside of recording this was written by the way this was written to our communal account
so it's not me and graham how often do we talk to each other outside of recording
do you hang out which guests would the two of you say you spend the most time with no uh no we have we have hung out outside but uh you know
dave's got two little ones that require constant supervision they're putting things in their mouth
putting figures in sockets all that kind of stuff we did hang out before i had kids uh but also uh
it's the coronavirus and we don't hang out at all why would we do that
we're we're safety conscious that way i always get uh i wear a mask i get somebody to hold the
ladder when i climb up it um what else uh oh boy yeah yeah you have someone flag for me when i'm
changing my tire yeah i put a warning up if there's a bucket of confetti up on the door that's
gonna drop on the person.
It won't say what's going to happen, but it will say warning.
So then I can say, I warned you, right?
And the person we hang out the most with is, well, I hang out with Abby.
I hang out with Alicia Tobin.
Yeah, me too.
And I guess also, you know spirit the holy spirit is with us
always yes that's true and also um you know our ego and our super ego that's yeah sure they're
always fighting it out with the id or whatever i don't know here's your first uh phone call
or zoom call hello caller are you there, I haven't let you in yet.
Oh, here we go.
Uh-oh, sideways.
Sideways camera on this.
I'm on the phone, so forgive me.
I forgive you.
Hello, your name is Chris.
That is accurate.
Caller, are you there?
Yes, I'm here.
Hi, Chris. Hi, here. Hi, Chris.
Hi, Graham.
Hi, Dave.
Thanks for calling in.
This is a big deal for you.
Yeah, it is.
It almost makes up for all the times I called in over hers and they weren't selected.
Oh, well.
We put it to a committee.
We put it to a committee.
They tell us which ones are going to be done. then we just have to we have to answer to the committee as long as it's a blue ribbon committee
i can accept that it's a blue ribbon committee yeah they also some of them have itty bitty titties
the blue ribbon committee was also the one that really put Pabst in business.
Blue Ribbon, man, they've been talking that up forever.
Yeah, they've maybe won one contest once.
Where are you, Chris?
I'm in Detroit, Michigan.
You've got a great head of hair on you.
I appreciate it.
It hasn't been cut in over a year.
But I don't think you ever need to cut it.
That looks fantastic, the way you got it.
Well, if you saw the back of it, you might feel differently the other day. Well, let's see the back of it.
Let's see the back of it.
Oh, okay.
I don't know how to do this, but
I don't know if this works.
Oh! Yeah, no, yep.
It's getting a little long back there.
But that's fine. That's fine.
You look like you're looking to play bass in a band.
That's the look.
It is a lot.
It's in your eyes a lot.
There's a lot of you.
There's a lot of that.
And I've been doing a lot of improv shows on Zoom.
That's modern times.
And like watching back in video, it's like, oh, how can anybody be paying attention to
the scene when I spend 90 of the
scene just flipping my hair out of my eyes yeah yeah so that uh the willow smith got it yeah
and so you do work that into the scene then your every character has to flip his hair
but uh every scene i'm actually playing jaden sm, it's just not right. That's tough.
Chris, do you have a question or a talent?
I can have a question.
I don't have any talents, unfortunately,
but I can ask questions.
Maybe my talent is asking questions.
We're about to find out, I guess.
Yeah, we'll find out.
Yeah.
Well, I know you guys are big cinema heads,
as proven by the various movie clubs that you had for the quarantine.
I was remembering a thing the other day,
and now this is where me, a non-famous person, gives an anecdote
nobody that's going to listen to this is going to care about.
But I was remembering when I was in third grade,
we had to make these little bingo boards about facts about ourselves
for when we would have indoor recess.
And one of them was like,
who's your favorite actor?
And I was remembering that I put down Tim Allen.
And in hindsight, I think the reason was
I had seen Home Improvement.
I had seen Santa Claus.
Everything else I watched was animated.
So I think he's the only actor I knew.
So I just put him down.
So I guess by proxy, he's my favorite actor but
still to this day
yes but now mostly for his political
views and the fact that he used to sell cocaine
opposed to his acting chops
and squealed on his friend to get less in a sentence
and he's also from the Detroit area
I've done stand up at the place where he started
so I have a lot
to come with him. Shout out to
Mark Ridley's comedy castle
in royal oak michigan yeah that's also where kid rock does his stand-up uh yeah but uh so
my question is it's not tim allen related unfortunately oh okay next caller i was
wondering if you guys remembered who was like your first person you considered your favorite
like actor was or like when you were a kid like was like an actor person you considered your favorite like actor was or like
when you were a kid like was like an actor as a kid you thought like this is my person this is
the actor i just really love yes i know the answer to this question for me dave do you have an answer
for i know the answer for graham as well no you'll be surprised well maybe you won't be okay if i'm
gonna be surprised i won't i was gonna guess for you, Pee Wee Herman. Nope. There's one. There's somebody that I always thought Pee Wee Herman was a real person.
Yeah, that's true.
We've been over how we thought everyone in the 80s from Hulk Hogan to Pee Wee Herman
to Max Headroom was a real person.
Is Cindy Lauper a real person?
Who knows?
Mine was, I would, the first thing that came to mind was Dana Carvey.
Oh, Dana Carvey. Oh, Dana Carvey.
That's a good one.
You know, because I loved George Bush, I guess.
Yeah, you loved George Bush.
You loved his take on Meet the Press, where he was the host of Meet the Press.
Yeah.
Yes.
Wrong.
Or the McLaughlin Group, was that it?
McLaughlin Group, that's right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
How about you
uh was whoever plays earnest that was jim varney jim varney i thought that's another one where
you're like is he a real person yeah and i just happened to know that jim varney because it would
say earnest was jim varney and so i uh that was my favorite actor i thought he was so good he could
talk to the camera and not hear back and he could then answer the question that you didn't know verne was a silent verne was like
vera from cheers yeah yeah exactly um yeah the so yeah definitely uh jim varney who i've read
uh was a real ladies man outside of of his earnest projects. Oh.
Yeah.
So make of that what you will.
Did he have a catchphrase other than, hey, Vern?
Know what I mean.
Hey, Vern, know what I mean?
Which, you know what?
If somebody came out with that now, it would be the most popular.
It would be more popular than Tim Allen.
Yeah.
I heard the skateboarding
cranberry juice guy
said,
know what I mean?
Know what I mean?
Is that,
are you satisfied,
Chris?
I'm very satisfied,
although I am wondering
if I can ask
really quickly,
Graham,
did Jim Vardy as Ernest
have love interest
in his movies? Because I don't remember he i think like he never ended up with the girl but there was
always the girl in it that he was kind of trying to save the day for but i don't think he ever
it was because verne was always in the way that's the problem first it was really making it uh
three's a crowd and uh so yeah i don't think he ever got the girl
but that's fine that that made him real to me do you think the subtext was that verne was in love
with earnest and was trying to keep all these women away from him so he could have earnest for
himself no i think that verne was a ladies man and so he he really would get it done. And Ernest was just a bad ladies man sidekick.
Alright.
Well, thanks, Chris.
Thanks, Chris.
Good to talk to you guys.
You too. Keep that hair long.
I'll do it for you, Graham.
Thank you for the stars.
Okay, now
what do I do? Kick you out? Remove. Reaching for the stars. Okay, now what do I do?
Kick you out?
Remove.
Yeah, there you go.
Bye.
Oh, God.
Okay, here we go.
Okay.
I'm going to have to do that with everyone.
Have like a little...
Okay, feel free to just slap down your laptop.
Yeah, that's...
We'll tell the next caller when they're done.
Just close your laptop. Yeah. And then don't open it right back up again um we uh so we've uh we've allotted each caller five minutes uh our our second caller
dropped out so that's why chris got extra time but if there's a caller if you're listening and there's a caller you don't like just fast forward five minutes i thought you were saying if you're
listening call in now uh we can answer uh another question yeah this one is from andrea oh how did
you meet how did you decide to do a podcast?
Well, that's, I mean, we've answered it before, but it's actually a few people wrote in with it.
So let's answer it now.
Yeah, tale as old as time.
Well, Dave and I both were stand-up comedians in the Vancouver area, stand-up comedian community and uh you dave and abby used to come to the show that i hosted like pretty almost weekly for a while there yeah well we uh so zach galifianakis was on
uh conan one night and i was like wow this guy's amazing i want to see if he's on tour and he said
he was playing this i went to his website and it said he was playing this place uh called el cocal in vancouver and i had never heard of it and i went to it
and it was a tiny restaurant yeah el salvadorian restaurant yeah and graham was hosting this
comedy show this was in 2005 and i was like what is i got there like two hours early because i'm
like it's gonna be packed to see Zach Galifianakis.
And we just ate nachos for a long time.
And then there was just like a comedy show with like eight local comedians.
And then Zach Galifianakis, it was the most amazing thing.
Anyway.
It was like that almost every week for like months and months and months.
He was on the show every week.
And then I, that was before I did stand-up.
Then I started doing stand-up.
We became friends and we started doing sketches.
We wanted to do sketches.
Yeah, and then I remember we were trying to write a sketch,
but then we spent an hour and a half on the website
yourethemannowdog.com.
Yeah, and then podcasts started being a thing and we were like,
Oh,
uh,
or I was like,
Graham,
you,
we should do this.
And you didn't know what it was,
but you trusted me.
I went all the same.
You trusted me and you,
I chose Graham cause I knew he'd show up every week.
And I do.
Here I am.
Um,
what was your first,
where did you first do stand up?
Your show
But you weren't there
Oh okay
I think Sean Devlin
Hosted that night
That sounds right
Alright we have a caller
Here we go
Okay I'm so nervous
Beep boop
Brrr
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Ithaca you're on the line
hello hello hello are you Kirk yes I am
hey Kirk welcome how's it going good how
are you guys doing all right look at
that he brought his own mic yeah yeah
this is what is does your shirt say?
Does it say LA?
It's the evil league of evil from Dr. Horrible.
All of that just sounded like gibberish to me.
Nonsense.
Is Dr. Horrible a Joss Whedon property?
Yes.
Oh.
There you go.
Neil Patrick Harris musical.
And of course, Joss Whed is uh what Jamaican Swedish people call God
something like that Joss Whedon yeah very good okay uh how are you Kirk you I know I know you
I've met you yeah we've you've come to some of our live shows and uh given us some overheards
I've have I have been i've been
overheard i guess yeah you've been overheard absolutely um kirk you're in vancouver how's
how's your night going and at 5 27 yeah this i made an early dinner that i finished just before
coming on wow what was on the menu?
Hot dogs with bacon and cheese.
Hot dogs with bacon and cheese.
Oh, man, you're not going to make it through the rest of this call.
No.
Yeah.
How many nights a week would you say you have hot dogs with bacon and cheese, Kirk?
Actually, like maybe once a month, if that.
Okay.
Yeah.
I guess that's something I want to know.
What are people's, like, thing I can just, like, whip together in a moment well we already know kirks kirks we know kirks uh i always keep a
box of craft dinner on hand really yeah that's my go-to if i'm like starving and don't want to
cook something craft dinner is the garbage food that i eat what about you some kind of pasta i guess yeah yeah past is a
good culprit i don't know if i have anything that's like a half hour or less though i'm sure i did
yeah like toaster strudels something like that yeah yeah or pierogies or uh yeah something like
that oh man i had pierogies the other night that i bought in alberta they were fucking amazing what was that now just cheese uh cheese and potato yeah well yeah but it
was cheese and it was man oh man rocked my world and now i want them again but they're six hours
away from here um um kirk do you have a question for us or a talent to show off i have no demonstrable talents unless you want me to
edit your podcast i mean do i um i hope you're taking dumb questions because i definitely have
a dumb question no these are yeah this is good serious questions only yeah we're a serious show
there's no we've never done anything dumb no fool fooling. No nonsense. No fooling around. Give me the dumb question. Okay.
If you guys could have a mediocre superpower,
nothing that would be like actually big or great, but just to like make your life marginally better,
what would it be?
Oh,
to hide noises.
Yeah.
Oh,
well,
okay.
To hide.
I just opened up a can of,
well,
if I'm being honest,
whoop ass.
Uh, but, uh but uh i uh if i could like secretly open up a can and have no one hear it and you know what that wish didn't come true
no because you told us that no that's true i i if i had any kind of superpower i'd be like
by the way that was a superpower i'm a superhero i was going to grant you these superpowers
have you not said what they were oh oh damn it um graham do you have an idea um yeah i think i would
uh just that my hair would always look like i just cleaned it that day like because it's man
i got a greasy hair situation i don't know how to get out of it so what do you uh how often do you wash
i wash every day but i have been using bacon grease so i don't know
if you need it yeah if you could uh graham did you uh so i here's a little secret about me i
haven't washed my hair since august really yeah and what what's your what's your oil content up there
um it's well the idea is that when you wash your hair you're stripping the oil away and this is
some very hippie dippy shit uh and so the oil fights back by coming back like you you produce
more oil because you're stripping it away right uh but But so if you don't wash it, it'll like reach some kind of level of equilibrium that that'll be just fine.
Did I ever tell you about when I tried that?
I tried that very thing.
And I was working in a coffee shop and the manager owner of the coffee shop said if you don't
wash your hair you're fired
okay kirk thanks for calling thank you for having me all right now i got a good rest of the night
to figure out how to oh boy i don't know sleep you know oh he knew he know how to do it i almost accidentally reported him
to zoom here goes another caller here we go people connecting
oh she's left oh there she is there she is oh who's this
i suppose i would have to unmute to tell you who this is yes yes who is this friendly person this
is lubo his full name is lubomir vizdogsky okay yes i like that he's named after a former nhl
defenseman lubomir viznotsky um uh where are you your name is aaron hello hello aaron where are you this evening i am in
white horse love white what time did the sun go down today it actually goes down pretty late
because we didn't change time so it's an hour later here so we like it doesn't get light until
noon now but okay i get a little bit of light after work
what do you have to do up until noon though you're sleeping anyways so why what does it matter you
know what i mean i love it i what am i yeah what am i doing like i could go to work and it's dark
or i mean work at home yeah yeah yeah work later and it's still dark i like that you have a headset
mike you look like you're about to call
and tell me uh my gutters are full you've got you've got the cure um aaron uh what uh tell me
about lubo how old is lubo lubo is of undetermined age i i i can see he's a black dog with white, like
some white whiskers, so he's getting
up there. We do call him Old Man
Lubo a lot.
But he looks like he has the energy of a puppy.
He's trying to get away from people.
He does not want to be on your lap.
The reason I
decided to hold him up, because he's heard
about you guys for a long time.
He's going in for surgery tomorrow.
Oh.
Oh.
What kind of surgery?
He's getting a lump removed.
That's very tense whenever you have to take a pet to.
Have they looked at the lump?
Do they know where the lump is?
They think it's okay.
Yeah.
So we're not too worried, but they're not too sure because right
lately he's been eating a lot of snow until he gets the shakes hmm yes he just eats snow until
he can't eat anymore god and then he gets the shakes because he's so cold dogs are so stupid
dogs are so stupid and you know what that's an old dog that's been around and he still doesn't get it.
He's a street dog.
He lived on the streets.
He lived on the snow.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Sure, yeah.
It's all he knows.
Yeah, when you gave him his first bowl of water, he didn't know what to do with it.
He said, put us in the freezer.
Can we go to 7-Eleven and just get a plane Slurpee?
And a plane Slurpee for my dog we don't have a 7-eleven here i'm so sorry what's your equivalent up there
tags has slush drinks and also a strange amount of fried foods oh yeah yeah that's 7-eleven 7-eleven
has a strange amount of fried foods uh ain do you have a question or a talent i was gonna let you choose either i can ask you
questions like a truth or dare scenario no you can do both don't worry about that don't worry
about having to cut one out the talent was gonna be lubo over here i was gonna okay i was gonna i was gonna talk about all of the things he's eaten i want to hear that
um so when we used to leave lubo at home when we would go to work you know that doesn't happen
anymore um he had the ability to break into things we had to put baby locks on everything
in our kitchen those are baby locks for the listener are like tiny little bits of smoked salmon and then um but we also found that if you left like a serving spoon on top of any of the like
um flat surfaces in the kitchen he would use the serving so he would get up there with his arm or
his paw and use the serving spoon to dig things from further back on the
counter onto the floor nice so he's eaten full loaves of bread that's the best 30 pounds just
to give the listener idea this is not a big dog and he's eaten full loaves of bread full flats of
like uh hot cross buns oh oh yeah oh man he probably ate it and then rolled around in the icing
and in canada's north that's like an 80 expense oh yeah he also he eats like fancy stuff like
one time i came home and i was like you're looking whiter than usual and it was because
he'd gotten into the flower that is fancy He did eat a filet of salmon,
beautiful salmon that was probably about a $40 smoked fancy salmon.
Baby locks.
And he does love his salmon.
But probably one of the grossest things is he ate a full jar of Vaseline.
Oh, wow.
That's amazing.
It's in and comes out the same.
Wow.
There's one of my
friend's dogs.
Oh, yeah. It's Alicia's dog that she put
polysporin on him and he licks it
all off. He loves polysporin.
My dog loved seawater
and
he got so sick one time and it just came out his butt as like clear.
It came out as a torrent of seawater.
And then you bottled it, sold it to a fancy coffee shop.
We use it as a salt scrub for exfoliating.
Did you have a question as well?
Yeah, I just want to know what you guys are scared of
besides intimacy hmm yeah anything uh any anything at night
um i what am i scared of there's i just i think like general being unwell is pretty scary uh you know like me being
unwell or a person being unwell that i know or a person that i don't know and i hear about yeah
they think all that stuff scares the bejesus out of me well it's good that there's no like sickness
in the news it's true it's been a pretty smooth ride these past nine months. Have you had the test?
I had one this week.
Oh, no, I haven't had the test.
Did they do the nose one or did they do the other one?
All the way up in there.
Yeah.
How was it?
It was fine.
It wasn't.
It was in there and it was out.
Sounds like my honeymoon.
I got the result back and no COVID. No COVID for you yes congratulations well um we've got we've got another caller lined up aaron i'm sorry to let you go
it was very nice to talk to you and uh uh we hope all the best for for lubo come Come back here, Lubo. There we go. There he is. Yeah, I hope
when they pull it out, it's just a lump of
Vaseline. Vaseline, yes.
Or any of the, maybe the chunk
of candle he wants to eat.
It was a
pineapple-flavored candle.
Yeah.
I'd probably eat it. Alright, thank you, Aaron.
Bye, Aaron.
Remove. There you go.. Bye, Aaron. Remove.
There you go.
You're getting better at it.
It's all happening. I know, but now I have the option to remove our next caller, and I almost did it.
Okay, connecting to next caller.
Here we go.
Zip.
Zorp.
Connectoid.
Oh, here he is.
Connecting to audio.
There it is.
There it is.
Well, what up?
How are you?
This guy's got a microphone. have a microphone yes um your name is nate that's true and where are you nate i'm in madison
wisconsin love it and is that you in the like in a room at the top of the house kind of thing
yeah because i've seen a i've seen a sloped wall there oh yeah okay the top of the
house yes it is an attic room yeah and that's the roof that would be the roof is causing the
the slope okay good yes on the back side of that well great architecture buffs yeah exactly my
favorite uh guy works out of singapore i don't know his name, but he's doing some real futuristic stuff.
Yeah, I like how Frank Gehry just
crumbles up paper.
Now, Nate,
thank you so much for calling.
I hope you're having a great 2020.
It's coming to an end.
Oh, it's been just great.
It'll be sad to see her go, but...
Do you have any resolutions?
Yeah, you know, just the normal
stuff. I'm going to try to get out more, you know.
No, you're not supposed to.
Scratch that from the list. You're not supposed
to get out. Stay in.
What are your other resolutions?
I'm going to
gain 20 pounds. There we
go. Now this is an attainable...
Now this is something I can deal with.
Not too show i like
it i'll report back to you i'll let you know next year um nate uh did now you're on my uh
clipboard here saying you have a talent i do have a talent i've got a couple of talents
do you want to you want to pick them no we want to see all of them yeah i want you to i want you to do the next
half hour of the show okay that'll be great okay uh i i can do something i like to call
well a grape stuff so i can i can stuff many grapes into my mouth yes do it do you have the
grapes right there i have the grapes yes this is the best i normally go for a higher number but
these are pretty jumbo grapes they're jumbo grapes yeah they are very jumbo i'm going for 15 and i
think i can do it oh you can yeah you can i believe in that do you have any more like do you
have i've got extras just in case yeah okay okay yeah my wife is giving me this metal bowl and
spoon to clank if i choke that's good that's a good contingency plan and then when you get it
really full you have to say chubby bunny yeah is that a thing so what's that thing
with marshmallows you do with marshmallows and kids have like choked oh really yeah nice of
course they are and then you have to explain to the doctor, I was on a podcast and I ate too many grapes.
And they'll be like,
Oh,
was it?
Yeah.
I saw Joe Rogan had that grape guy on.
I'm doing it because of Joe Rogan.
Just like everything.
Okay.
Let's see these grapes.
Okay.
So we're going to do it.
If you guys can go ahead and like,
you know,
count for me that
you got of course i know all the numbers two eight all of them we're gonna start at one though
okay here we go one grape ha ha ha two three four and you can fast forward listener five
six you could use this as the countdown for new year's eve just do it in
backwards nine nine ten happy new year then well they're very big eleven eleven twelve oh man 14 15 you did it fantastic oh yeah i guess that's impressive yeah i don't i think i could get
six in there and then i'd panic that one was trying to sneak down my throat i should just
get much tinier grapes yeah you really i mean get yourself some concords those are some tiny grapes what are you uh boy we
do a segment on our show called what's your favorite grape um and could you tell us what
is your favorite grape my favorite grape is the uh green seedless green seedless that's a good
grape the problem with it is that they're not reliable they go squishy real fast that's true
yeah uh my favorite is the lead singer of the california raisins
that's that's technically counts yeah yeah yeah and mine is of course uh grape
common grape yeah great uh your dictionary uh stipple picture of a grape uh some of them are
a little long you ever get those longies
yeah yeah yeah those are their own you know like now they uh they have you had that
yeah they do they had like frozen uh disney's frozen star wars grapes
have you had uh cotton candy grapes no i've seen them in the store but i mean i i'm
i'm worried that i'll never be able to go back to regular yeah that's true don't spoil yourself for
long grapes what's your favorite like grape sized um probably a grape okay good answer good answer that's right
the category i'm a cherry guy uh i'm a raspberry or blueberry guy oh really yeah i eat a lot of
raspberries and blueberries yeah they rule they do rule yeah well you shouldn't say that you're you're nate grape
yeah yeah that is gonna confuse my branding do you have another talent that you could show us
very quickly yeah sure very quickly this is a real quick one this is a good audio one too it's um
ear farting yes here we go look he said ear farting he's not explaining it yeah yeah you
know what i'm doing hold on i gotta take off. Okay, he's putting his hand up to his ear.
Now we can talk about how unimpressive that
grape thing was.
I'm not hearing anything.
I can't hear anything.
But it looks funny.
It looks very funny.
We couldn't hear anything.
No, we heard it all it was great i heard it one little squeak at the very beginning all getting noise canceled
yeah i think i should have turned off my my oh boy but you know what that's i never literally
never heard of that before and uh it was really hard to see it i wonder if i could do it go for it dave
no i can't i'm just i'm just giving myself the bends
uh for the listener he was he had his hand against his ear and he was just
pushing in and out and causing i heard a few squeaks at the beginning there were some big
loud ones in there i guess this is just a testament to Zoom's noise-canceling technology.
Yeah.
Well done, Zoom.
Let's see how it comes out in the mix.
All right.
Thanks, Nate.
Yeah, thank you so much.
Thank you, guys.
And thanks for helping us to remember grapes and how delicious they are.
Oh, anytime, guys.
Thanks for having me.
Bye, Nate.
Thank you. Remove. Thanks for having me. Bye, babe. Thank you.
Remove.
All right.
Remove.
Well, our next caller is a few minutes early.
So do you want to do a written question?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
This is from Jeff, I think in Austin.
I didn't write that down.
In the past, Graham has alluded to getting into all sorts of bar fights when he goes out drinking.
I don't recall that.
I know you've been...
We have something not in common.
You've been punched.
Yes.
Now, after a decade of listening to you guys, I'd say Graham seems like a very fun, laid-back, considerate, and affable individual.
So what in the hell does he do to incite such violence against him?
Does he start the fights?
Is he a mean drunk?
Does he get bullied?
The people demand to know.
Most of the time that any fight I've been involved in
is two people fighting that I've been trying to split up.
Yes.
And I get punched in the process,
and that's happened quite a few times.
But no, I'm not going to bars and starting fights.
I'm trying to quell fights.
That's what I'm trying to do.
Fight queller.
Yeah.
Yeah, but I would say more on the bus than at any bar.
People are drunker on the bus and more angry on the bus.
Question from Luke D. Dave, will you ever do stand-up again i doubt it uh and two graham do you consider yourself a stand-up comic first podcast or second
or some other configuration i consider myself my kid's mom the first first and foremost. Yeah, Dr. Laura taught you that. Stay-at-home mom.
And then, you know, I'm a bitch.
I'm a lover.
I'm a child.
I'm a mother.
I'm a sinner.
I'm a saint.
What is the line?
I don't feel ashamed.
I'm your hell.
I'm your dream.
I'm your dreams.
I'm nothing in between.
And you wouldn't want it any other way.
So that's my answer. Don't tell me me what i want let's take a call caller are you there connecting
most people would vamp
hello caller are you there yes i am hi hey there you go i'm brian from iowa and i have a question
specifically for graham okay okay i'll take a walk yep leave and at graham it sounds like
uh from previous christmas episodes that you receive uh a christmas stocking on a regular basis and that stocking includes
archie comics yes you're right you don't necessarily look like an eight-year-old
even let's say 16 year old boy thank you so that means i'm doing something right yes i think very
much so that i'm just curious whoever your
stocking stuffer is that maybe at some point during your 20s did they think of giving you a
more adult magazine yeah my uh my mom who stuffs the stockings uh got me penthouse forum at some point in your 30s it went back to the Archie comics
it went back to Archie comics
and then during my 40s I'm hoping
you know, jugs
no, of course no one would give you
like what kind of parent would be like
here's some of a spank on me son
here's an urchins comics yeah but you know they're uh you're right my 30s were my arch years
and i'm looking forward to many many uh golden years yeah um i mean like uh the a pardon me while i try to think of words um
archie like archie was plenty adult enough for me yeah that's right like he's dealing with he's got
a jalopy and uh that's hard to have and then he sometimes he has bell bottoms on and uh that's hard to have and then sometimes he has bell bottoms on and uh that's
hard to figure out yeah he's juggling two women he's juggling jughead and then then all of a sudden
he has a cell phone and then he has an iphone and then the next thing he's wearing a big wool coat
with a pendant and uh it's if if they today if archie comics contacted you and said we'd like you to start
writing for archie comics yes some of your modern takes on the world uh what uh how fast would you
take that job oh i would break the sound barrier it'd be so fast um yeah and i've my first out-of-the-gate storyline is Archie starts an OnlyFans account.
Yeah, I was going to say, like, Veronica starts a TikTok.
Yeah, yours is more wholesome than mine.
I mean, I don't know.
That's, wow.
Yeah, of course, Graham.
Did your parents, Brian, did your parents adult up your stocking stuffers as you got older?
Mainly it was candy, except for the very bottom of the stocking, it always just a large granny smith apple i don't know if that's necessarily just off of uh the case of how poor my family was at a time where they go
the cheapest thing we can do is just by mass this apple's going to take up a bunch of this
yeah we know a guy down the road that has an apple tree so we're going to help ourselves
to some christmas apples i remember when i was like a teenager i started getting
razor blades in my stocking like that may have happened in the apple some aspect of hygiene
starts kicking in after puberty that needed to be addressed yeah no santa santa knows that i
have bo so he's giving me deodorant that's one of the things asked for in that santa baby song is
because i've got bo you know
however in our new manscaped lifestyle uh for at christmas time there probably are teenage
kids getting you know their uh cube shavers now so oh yeah probably new things coming in
of advancing in that
same way yeah yeah it's nice that families
feel comfortable uh
talking about each other's pubes
yeah son it'll look
bigger if you shave around it
this is a lesson i wish
my father had taught me
i've taken
you out to this lake to tell you all
the things.
To drown you.
Because
I'm not going to be a father.
And
this will be my final
parting act.
This got very dark.
Brian, thank you so much
for calling. That was a great question.
Thank you very much.
All right.
Off I go.
Off you go.
Now, Graham, I took a walk when he said that this was for Graham.
Yeah, you were dancing very sexily.
Did you talk about that?
No.
I took my headphones off and like, yeah, danced for you. Well, if you're not going to talk about it, then took my headphones off and like yeah danced for you well if you're not going
to talk about it then why am i doing it here's your next caller connecting zeeps or uh
uh
all right and we're getting we're getting just a name video. His last name and the number four.
This guy's got four accounts.
Four accounts, or he's the fourth Goldsworthy to call us today.
Uh-huh.
Wow.
But yeah, where is this person?
Yeah, where is this person?
Where, oh, where is this person?
This is called vamping.
Yes, very good. Yes. Those politicians, hey? where oh where is this person this is called vamping yes yeah yes hmm those politicians hey
the most recent i wish they wouldn't so much oh boy they're so extra yeah
now i can vamp for five minutes while this guy doesn't show up yeah that's right is uh this
person not uh not waiting in the room?
I guess they just,
maybe they choked on 15 grapes.
Do we skip over this person
and go to the next person?
Or do we want to answer another question?
Yeah, let's do a quickie quick.
Okay.
Okay.
From Neil P. uh okay um uh from neil p uh asks uh i want to thank you guys for helping us all through this dumpster fire of a year your devoted cult of fans really appreciate it speaking of cults if you guys ran
a cult what would the wardrobe be oh that is a very good question um dave do you have any idea
of how you'd answer this no not yet um i think i would start i would start from the shoes and work
up as opposed to starting the head and working down oh yeah i'm a pants out i do pants out like john mayer i would everybody would wear um there's
like these mexican shoes that are like long and pointy and kind of curl up at the end yeah yeah
those would be the shoes then some hammer pants sure and uh you know like a big belt buckle on the on the hammer pants and then uh no shirt and just a wool vest
um the uh how do you describe those shoes they're like long and curl long and straight out
yeah they're long yeah they're like i think they have them in breaking bad fairly often oh yeah
yeah two axe brothers had them when someone asks me how's it hanging
i always say it's long and it curls up at the end looks like a ski jump not all the time have you
ever had anyone have you ever heard this where someone says how's it hanging and the person
responds long and loose and full of juice juice yeah absolutely i feel that was like a real
friend of mine's older brother yeah yeah yeah
and good for them and it really is confusing because they think p is stored in the penis
uh or come joked on something there i had a friend who's uh uh older brother called uh like
taking a shit he called it uh trogging a log and i always thought that was pretty
pretty stellar stuff that's horrible
what can we do with this collar i we can i don. I'm going to put them back in the waiting room and take the next caller.
Here we go.
See if we get around to that one.
Connecting.
Zip, zorp.
Yay!
There's our caller, Kristen L.
Connected by audio.
Hey, how's it going?
It's going great.
How are you?
Good. Kristen, can i call you kirsten
ah you can if you want to kristin you're wearing a very familiar uh some very familiar
wear and a t-shirt yeah that's the symbol loving that's right right or die i wore i wore this out somewhere and someone thought
it was a commentary about how many there were too many podcasts now i'm like no this is actually a
podcast yeah no it's it's a terrible name uh we look like i don't have a lot of regrets in life but naming this show is up there
um where are you calling us from i'm in mount pleasant michigan our second michiganer of the
day oh my gosh you have a you have a hardcore fan base in michigan yeah yeah well we we yeah we we started off as we did freestyle rap battles um
and uh against papa doc
yeah well michigan has an affinity for canada because we have a similar accent zone up in the upper peninsula area.
Oh yeah.
Where there's a lot of confusion for who's a Canadian or who's from the
upper peninsula.
So we have a affinity.
Yeah.
And we also,
it's like,
isn't it a straight shot between Detroit and Windsor,
Canada?
Like just right across the river or something.
Yeah.
You go through a tunnel.
You can go. cool yeah you can take the bus from detroit to windsor done a few times that's great
go over get some cheap canadian candy yeah what do yeah we go like canadians go to america to get
like i mean it's fun to go to like a mall that has things that we don't have,
but in general, Canadians get cheaper gas,
and milk is cheaper in America. Is there anything that Americans come over the border to Canada for?
Yeah, underage drinking.
That's what I was going to say.
That's number one, yeah.
Yeah, that was why I was there the times I was there.
Yeah. I will say, yeah.
Yeah, underage drinking
and fishing.
A lot of people go out there to go fishing.
Good luck doing the one without the other.
Yeah.
A little underage fishing.
Right, exactly.
Can I see your license please
now kristin did you have a question or a talent
i have a question okay here we go okay okay so dave i know you're a Doughboys listener. If you and Graham were to ever guest on the Doughboys,
where would you want to review?
Oh, what is a restaurant?
Here's my thing about the Doughboys.
They get people and like,
sometimes the people are like too in the bag for the restaurant.
Like they're too.
Yeah.
Like I would be happy to do any restaurant and just like evaluate it um uh you know impartially right but
i've seen them come and do uh i've seen them twice in vancouver and they did Jappa dog and a and W. Uh,
but I think there are plenty of Canadian chains that need to be taken down.
Yeah.
I would say the number one Canadian chain that I would say is Swiss
Chalet.
Okay.
Well,
it's,
uh,
it's like a chicken place.
Yeah.
Primarily,
but it's every location is decorated like a Swiss ski lodge. It's like a chicken place. Yeah. Primarily, but it's every location is decorated like a Swiss ski lodge.
It's like a Canadian Nando's.
I don't know what the Nando's is,
but I think it's funny.
Yeah.
Nando's is funny.
Yeah.
Swiss chalet is also like a,
it's a funny punchline or it's a funny thing to say when you're leaving a
party that I'm going to Swiss chalet.
Oh,
you know where I always tag all of my Instagram photos.
If I,
if I am in like a very obvious location,
I'll say I'm in a different location.
I'll always say I'm in the old spaghetti factory.
Yes.
So that may be that.
Old spaghetti factory is a good one.
Yeah.
Which one would you do yeah you
wouldn't me well i'm surprised you didn't you wouldn't choose a dairy queen again that's i mean
yeah i understand you don't want a bias but yeah exactly yeah but i do love dairy queen yes i love
dairy queen although i did i i mentioned on a recent episode that I haven't eaten a lot of ice cream
lately. Right.
Sorry, I'm going to get emotional.
But I also
like I have the Dairy Queen app
on my phone and it was
my birthday recently
and they give you a two week window to get buy one
get one free blizzards
around your birthday and I didn't do it
that's why
I even have the app delete that app off your phone
this pandemic has changed
me
yeah you're now
you don't like ice cream and you're a tiktok star
yeah
oh no
Kristen do you do what restaurant would you do
oh good question is there a michigan specific uh my favorite michigan specific one is halo burger
which is uh out of is out of flint which is where i went to college and it's kind of like a regional chain right in the area it's uh what's
the go-to like what would you order you get the the the qp quarter pounder burger okay they have
all sorts of like shakes and they had dinosaur shaped nuggets i remember as well well. Oh, I love, man,
I just like burgers and shakes.
I think that's my like favorite.
And they're not even a good combo.
Like I don't like them together.
Yeah.
When you eat it,
it's like,
uh,
the kind of restaurant that has them is the best.
Yes.
Yeah.
And the,
like the,
you get the thing,
the glass thing,
and then they bring over the metal thing with more.
It's insane.
That's an insane thing to do.
Yeah.
That's great.
All right,
Kirsten.
Oh,
sorry,
Kristen.
I did it by on purpose.
No.
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
Have a good night.
Thank you.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Remove.
And there we go.
Let's try this.
Well,
our next caller didn't show up. So our previous caller who didn't show up, let's try this well our next caller didn't show up so our previous caller
who didn't show up let's try to get him again all right let's see zorp are you yes here we go yeah
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah hello hello hi hi how's. It's going good. For whatever reason, I thought I didn't have a question prepared.
I thought I was just going to watch you asking other questions.
Oh.
Answering other questions.
Yes.
So I apologize.
You fucked up.
You didn't read the whole post asking people to write in and saying this is not a live stream with an audience.
Nope.
Nope. Oh, nope.
Oh, Ed.
Well, that's fine. You don't need to have
a question because we're doing people one
at a time and our next question didn't show up.
Well, what about this? What if I
ask you a question?
Yeah.
Okay, so first of all, where are you?
I'm just
outside of Ann Arbor, Michigan.
What is it with Michigan?
We've got three Michigan calls so far,
which has been great.
That's awesome.
What was the restaurant that our last caller...
Dinosaur Burger?
Was it Halo Burger?
Do you know Halo Burger?
Yeah, that's a local
chain that's just around the Flint area
where they have the terrible water.
Here's my Canadian connection.
Do you remember those Canadian tire commercials
where they had the couple?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
He had a beard. He had a beard and she was like
had a slamming bod
he was a punk
she did ballet I remember this
I used to write those
because I mean
in Detroit
at the ad agency I work at we had
Canadian Tire in our Toronto office
I love that
the agency I worked with did
the bike spot and all a lot of the famous ones but a lot of the creative was done down in detroit
so i used to work on a ton of canadian tire stuff so there was no canadian tire for years had their
christmas slogan was uh give like santa save like scrooge like scrooge yeah and they had you there when that came up but i i was um i actually never
worked on that stuff um i was working on other parts of the business but yeah i was i was in
meetings where they pitched ideas and they're they had this guy was scrooge and and apparently the
actor like people he was such a jerk in the commercials that he like got abuse in real in the real world like
people would like yell shit at him and then they had the couple and now but it's his fault because
he wore a top hat everywhere it's true he did dress in period costume everywhere he went uh
and then like the last like i don't know years, they've had the same white guy.
Yeah, that's right.
Well, they eventually wised up and got a Canadian company to do all of that.
Yeah, that's kind of shocking that it was done out of the country.
It's not that shocking, given what we know about most Canadianadian companies like being owned by brazilian
conglomerates that's right yeah i also used to work on a company called future shop is that still
up there yeah yeah well they were bought by best buy okay but yeah it was around for a long time
and also was the one circuit city was that in canada or was that the states no that was in the states
yeah circus city uh circuit city bought canadian radio shack and renamed it the source the source
right so okay we still have our radio shacks here but they're yeah we don't it's i mean they're all
in malls and malls are all dying so what are you doing doing? Yeah. Yeah. What is, Oh yeah, that's, here's my question for you.
What is the most fun that you've had at a mall?
I'm all Clooney.
Um,
you know,
boy,
let me think.
Yeah.
Graham,
do you have one lined up?
I do.
Yeah.
Uh,
I,
my favorite time at a mall was the day that i ordered popcorn
chicken and ordered a giant bucket of colonel's popcorn and uh i looked like a goddamn hero
like everybody in the food court was jealous who was this guy who could buy it both
and uh and and consume both which i did so that that's probably my fondest. Although I'm playing miniature golf in the West Imogen Mall.
West Imogen Mall.
The world's biggest.
Ed Mall Talk.
Let's get real about malls here.
Yeah, you're on Mall Talk.
I've been to two of the world's biggest malls and found them extremely underwhelming.
I was at the mall of
america once of course yeah and then because all americans have to do a pilgrimage well uh and they
don't don't they it's so big that like you just sort of it starts repeating after a while yeah
and really it's just it's just all right so if you have more than one mall near you they might
have some different stores.
This just has all those stores.
It's not like a special...
They have a PacSun and a Babbage's.
Ooh, do they have a Zoomies?
No Zoomies, I don't think.
But I guess
I went to Dubai and their mall
had an aquarium, so maybe that was...
That's cool.
I would picture a mall in dubai to be like
there's a lamborghini dealership in the mall and uh it's just like it's the most beautiful
well-appointed mall in all the world at this point a mall to me to me a mall is thank you
a mall to me is like as much fun as going to the airport.
Yes.
Yeah.
And what is an airport, but just a fancy mall.
It's just a mall with airplanes.
Yeah.
I took Poppy to the mall on my birthday to get some cupcakes.
And I don't know if she'd ever been to the mall before, but like we were in the mall for two minutes because i knew exactly where to enter
and where to go to the cupcake store but the route we took she went past a popcorn place that had
like rainbow popcorn right next to the cinnabon that smelled so good up to the like the cupcake
store and like i think in her mind a mall is now the like just the most delicious place in
the world yeah yeah there's a mall in just outside of vancouver called metro town and they have three
different on three different floors they have three different pretzel places and i hit all those isn't one day well thank you thank you for calling ed yeah sorry no it's great we're glad we got you
yeah that was great thank you so much thanks bye bye remove remove take a minute. There he goes. Close your computer. We interrupt
this call-in show
because we have a
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So we do have a Jumbotron message and this one is for Jesse and it is from
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we all love you a bunch and want you to know how special you are to us.
Here's to another five years of outstanding service.
So, yeah.
What does that mean?
Yeah, that's a mystery.
Is this a message for their, like, mechanic?
Yes.
Sorry, I got the 10-year Mitsubishi warranty,
and the first five years have gone great.
The,
uh,
the first sentence reads,
thank you for always being there for me.
So do you think Darcy,
Jeff and Pudge consider themselves all one person?
Or do you think it was Darcy took the lead and then had a pang of guilt?
Yeah,
exactly.
Jeff and Pudge,
you can hop on this gift.
Uh,
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And another five years of outstanding service.
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Take that, stupid rules.
We nailed it.
We have another caller here.
Here we go.
Now, this one, his name is either Thomas without an H.
So, do you want to bet on whether
it's thomas or tomas i think it's going to be thomas but i'm hoping that it's going to be tomas
okay i'm i'm my money's on tomas okay here we go connecting zorp connecting
connecto oh turn on your video i want to see your face fine there we go
boy here hey what what's your name my name is tomas yes dave was correct you got it pronounced
right really yeah every single teacher i've had has pronounced it wrong every single person i can see um what where are you
tomas i'm in michigan right now and all of our callers have been from michigan
yes i think we all like just congregated and like just planned this shit we all had a meeting
beforehand to send in an email yeah yeah let's settle it from our our group michigan account
yeah you all had a rap battle and um where are you in michigan i'm in ann arbor which is what
our last caller was just outside ann arbor really yeah his name's ed you should get together and uh
go to cinnabon. Or Halo Burger in Flint. Do you know Halo Burger?
I've actually never heard of Halo Burger.
I've also never heard of Ed from Flint either.
Well, Ed's from outside
Ann Arbor. Oh, he's from
outside. Halo Burger is the one in Flint.
Yeah, that's right.
That's what Kristen had to say.
He's learning something new every day.
How old of a guy are you, Thomas?
I'm 20 right now.
I just go out here to school, actually.
What are you taking?
Electrical engineering,
which is really, really
a lot of math. Really dumb.
Is this to become
an electrical
engineer or an electrician or
you become electricity yeah do you become to harness the power
uh like jamie foxx in that one spider-man movie yeah exactly i don't really know what i want to
do with it i'm like kind of want to do a bunch of writing stuff still like even though i go to
school here and do electrical engineering like i actually write for my school's like satire newspaper
so yeah I actually just want to just do other stuff too what is uh what is that like they
I didn't have any of that at the university I went to there was no there was no satirical
anything it was all very serious yeah all just very business paper magazines yeah i thought i was
going to go into business and uh yeah we would read we would read the economist and business
weekly um and we were allowed to write an article for those yeah all the uh publication really is
it's called the uh every three weekly i guess if i can plug it yeah well done yeah all it is is uh our tagline is
better than sex twice as often because we publish once every three weeks this is good
not bad uh what um your uh what what uh are you a junior a sophomore i am a junior right now
um where are you from originally?
I am originally from New York.
I just wanted to come out here to school because Michigan is kind of a cool place.
I'm walking here.
Big boy from New York.
See my pagoda here.
Or whatever.
I don't know that.
Bodega? Is that what you're saying?
Yeah, bodega.
Pagoda!
that?
Bodega?
Is that what you're thinking?
Bodega.
Bodega.
Pagoda!
I think that's
like a type of
lizard I'm
thinking of.
Yeah.
I think you're
thinking of a
Komodo.
A pagoda is
a, like a,
it's like a
gazebo.
Yeah, that's
right.
It's like a
building of some
kind.
Anyway, now Tomas, do you have a question or a talent i have a question i guess i thought you had talents i had a bit of both but i do have
a talent have people been giving talents or more questions not enough yeah we want a talent yeah
well you can ask a question too we got time i can uh play the bass guitar a little yes
and you can play something that i'm very fond of the seinfeld theme that's correct i knew if i do
that you'd probably like that yeah so if you want the seinfeld theme i figure you might need to like
tell a joke first oh yeah yeah have you seen these things yeah uh you know
relationships yeah women are like uh they like certain things yeah and that's why what do you
do put it in a box let him do it noise canceling the noise canceling is taking it all away i realize it's probably really bad yeah
shit i can do my speaker wait here we go here we go i'm putting the speaker like literally
right next to the microphone this might be is that better that's better yeah all right
fuck i'm in a car getting coffee with a comedian.
Good enough.
That's barely a time. I've been playing bass for like maybe a month all right that's really good
for a month do you have a talent yeah i can play bass i got it so i gotta throw look my
talents i wanted to do i said i can dunk on this but that's not podcast material oh we you can do
it you can dunk on it. Some slingshot.
Tomas has a little like a nerf hoop in his room.
I'm knocking over a bunch of shit.
Sorry.
I'll play some bass while he does that.
Night court.
It's a corner night.
Night court. Okay, here we night Night Court okay here we go
he's got a basketball
gonna slam dunk
and he missed and the door came open
and he didn't even
spin or anything
the frame is broken
why did the noise cancelling not get there
oh yeah there we go
he put his elbow in like Vince Carter
do you need that
Tomas
okay
oh wow he's doing air
jump man
air jump man
that was the
funniest thing but it didn't
work and the door opened
it was great frames already
broken i'm sorry i had to kick it in because i locked myself out are you on campus yeah i'm
off campus right now just on like a house nice nice how many roommates i got four roommates right now let's shout them out yeah i got nico i got tyler i got ian i got tommy
all for me if you know them from michigan yeah i do yeah the michigan five they call yeah yeah
the fab five yeah the fab five in this house yeah how long have you uh been listening to our show
i've been listening for about like two years but i've been
going through like the backlog like nearly every day when i walk to class holy cow i'm on like
episode i think like 220 or something now i'm on episode two two but we're good to listen to gets
you in the right mindset for like a test or something. Yeah, we're like a lot of what we say has is like, I mean, we don't say explicitly about electrical engineering, but the subtext is there.
I know you're talking a lot about electrons and like photons and stuff.
Yeah, absolutely.
Zapping each other, rubbing your feet against the carpet and electrocuting each other.
I know when you're bringing up like Osmosis Jones, you're me.
Yes, Osmosis Jones. Yes, thank you.
Now you're speaking my language.
Well, thank you,
Tomas. It was very nice to speak to you.
Yeah, thank you so much for calling in.
And happy holidays.
Happy holidays. Have a good, safe
rest of the year. You too. Get out
of here.
That was fun. He was a boy that uh that slam dunk was
so funny i wish everybody could see it because it was the best thing man i think that really
saved 2020 for me yeah oh i don't know this year's a bit of a dumpster fire for me yeah but that
really if i knew that was coming it would have been all worth it i don't of a dumpster fire for me. Yeah, but that really, if I knew that was coming, it would have been all worth it.
I don't know, still dumpster fire for me.
We have another question
written in. Here we go.
This is from Scott H. On the MaxFun
Q&A episode, Dave mentioned
you had other projects in mind
after our debut album.
Any plans
to still do whatever that was,
or maybe our difficult sophomore album.
Uh,
if not,
what was it?
Um,
we,
we,
we did like a few like pilots when,
when,
uh,
we made extra bonus episodes for donors.
Yeah.
Uh,
we did a few pilots and,
um,
that's what, think we were going to continue with one of those but we never did because we tried and ran we just had no time there's no time
there's no time in this life between uh this that and the other thing uh getting up to grind get on my grind um yeah it's down to those
who grind that's all the stuff i do so everyone out there on their grind we salute you um also
graham have you given any more thought to releasing the albums you've recorded i have them both in
post-production and hopefully it'll be ready by fe. Oh boy, I love February.
Yeah.
So you'll be able to buy it for your many lovers.
I don't have many lovers.
I have the one.
Yeah.
And, oh boy, let me tell you what we did last night.
Some pretty weird and wild stuff
tell me about it
here is your next call
here we go
wait this is a person
connecto
hello
how's it going
good thank you
look at you with your microphone.
Thanks.
You're welcome.
My headphones are... Let me configure my audio.
Here we go.
Yeah, configuring.
Zip, Zorp.
Configuro.
Hack into mainframe.
Nissen, Figaro.
How about now?
I'm hearing you.
That sounds good. You sound good. Yeah good you sound good yeah you sound great you
sound fine yeah cool great you said where where are you uh coming to us and also what is your name
hi i'm tony i'm calling to you today tonight from uh washington dc washington dc wow are you oh is it veep every day there um no i'm not a veep fan so i'm sorry
about that fair what about what are you uh there's like a chain of hot dogs places in washington
uh what is it called heads no it's like whizzies or something like that
heads no it's like whizzies or something like that we is it veeps oh man i was hoping to get this answered oh well yeah uh are you okay i mean do you are you uh
what are you doing what are you doing in washington dc uh i make podcasts oh nice what
what kind of podcasts hr it It's about HR. HR podcast.
HR podcast and stuff.
Let's get together some questions for you guys.
I wanted to ask if I could throw them your way.
Throw me some questions.
Cool.
So,
your guys' day-to-day,
is it characterized by
constantly trying to maneuver and position yourselves
within earshot of strangers in hopes of snagging sweet overheards yes yeah short answer yes long
long answer my my day-to-day is not uh positioning myself at all i don't know what my day-to-day is um my i was uh the other day abby or sorry poppy said
something funny and i was like oh that'll be funny but i don't need an overheard i've got
plenty of overheards and then i looked on my phone where i keep my overheards i don't have any
overheards yeah and i like mostly i go on a public transit and i don't listen to music in the hopes that I will hear something.
And you know what?
It's never let me down.
What?
How often are you taking the bus and the train in the pandemic?
Very rarely.
Okay.
I think it'll show in the quality.
You gotta let me buy you a car.
My mom's always trying to get me to take her car.
But then where am I gonna pat yeah where am i
gonna park it in this crazy city you know what i mean you can get a parking pass 50 bucks a year
yeah that's not bad what uh you're which car of your mom's uh i think it's blue it's blue
next question tony ram concerning you and transit uh and i well i just
i'm curious has the pandemic closed the ferry uh it hasn't closed the ferry but there was a rule
kind of in the early days that you could stay in your car on the ferry and uh that ruled that was
the best because the worst thing about the ferry is
having to get up where all the other people are and so sitting especially in a pandemic yeah
exactly sitting in your car and uh being able to just like sleep or eat whatever you want is the
best too good i can't go back i've been spoiled it does rule and especially if you're traveling with an animal yeah because they uh need to like
well i guess actually if you have a car you can keep the animal in the car never mind uh withdrawn
your honor graham what is the weirdest or worst roommate experience you've had uh the weirdest was a guy it was a guy who uh we found i don't know through
craigslist or something he was gonna rent a room in the house that i lived in with six other people
and he showed up to move in at 1 30 in the morning and he'd just gotten off of a bus
and his first question out of his mouth was,
do you have any lotion?
Did you have lotion to share?
Yeah, I went and looked for some lotion.
Yeah, okay, I'll see about that.
So that guy was the weirdest,
like by far the weirdest roommate i've ever had
i've had one roommate who wasn't my wife no i've had two there you go they were nice
did you give them lotion uh no
uh yeah that's that's got to be the weirdest one. Lotion is the best clutch.
Yeah.
If either...
If you could sing a duet with anyone,
who would it be?
Graham.
And mine is Dave.
No, actually, mine is yours.
The night is the night
when two become one.
Nice.
That was good.
We nailed that.
So that should answer your question.
Yep, sure does.
What is the weirdest thing you've seen in someone else's home?
You've got five minutes.
How many questions did you come up with?
We're almost done.
Okay.
I'll tell you when we're done.
What is the weirdest thing you've seen in someone's what?
Home.
Oh, from doing this no i mean it is a it is an interesting you know view into someone else's environment oh yeah
uh growing up uh my friend had a bidet oh really like a full-on like its own thing like
not like an attachment like you would sit on it after like you move over.
I guess so.
I guess.
Wow.
Did you use it?
No,
I don't do that at other people's homes.
Did you talk about it with your,
with the person you were visiting?
His parents were British,
like from England.
So what are you going to do?
Yeah. Like it's going to do? Yeah.
Like it's,
it's no telling.
Yeah.
The sun never sets on the English empire,
British empire.
Uh,
what is the weirdest thing?
When I was a kid going,
uh,
I was a cub scouts and we had to do bottle drive and you,
so you never knew what you were going to see.
Bottle drive.
You collect bottles and you,
you recycle them and get the deposits for whatever cause you're yeah and uh there was a guy who he
in the background of his house i don't know if he was a single guy or whatever but he had a giant
like you know the kind of black velvet painting of a naked woman up on his wall in the living room so i thought that was pretty wild
it's great to hear who would each of you like to play you in a movie yes uh boy i like i don't see color or sex uh so i would go with uh the lady from
slumdog millionaire that's good she was so pretty so pretty and and good good like solid actor um i would be played by a film director and all-around b-movie superstar john waters
that's who i want to play me is john water could we choose for each other uh because graham who
could play graham who's got like a big beard i would feel like rick rubin's not really an actor no but he can do it he could do it or who's the it's like larry charles uh the comedy yes
yeah writer yeah used to write on seinfeld yeah um who would uh play dave i'll tell you who
brad pitt with a pair of glasses oh you're you're kind. Come on now. Your beer is sucking my butt.
Any more questions there, Tony?
Last one.
Do you want to do a season four of This Sounds Serious?
Season four of This Sounds Serious?
I don't know.
I don't believe there's anything on the books
to do a season four.
Understood.
It's really made my life last a few years. Thank you so much.
Hey, man.
Look, I love doing it.
And it's super fun.
But there's other
projects related to it and not related
to it on the go.
So let's see what happens.
Yeah. We're looking forward to it.
Thank you, guys. Thank you guys.
I really,
it's good.
Your show.
Thanks,
Tony.
Thank you for calling and,
uh,
keep up all that HR podcast.
Yes.
Okay.
I thought it was like a,
uh,
it was like he was doing,
uh,
Baba Booey or whatever.
Hamburgers and Whoopier.
Next caller.
Zeep, Zorp, Auga.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
How's it going?
Hi, I'm Dave.
I'm Graham.
Hello. You are? I'm Maxine. Heyine hey maxine and where are you calling from calling from beautiful vancouver canada oh nice day we had today right
it had its moments yeah it was sunny well i was i don't know it was sunny when i was out
and then it was rainy it was rained a lot. I've been sad all day.
I work from home. It's
a tough life. I was like, oh, was
it sunny? Honestly, I didn't notice.
Where in Vancouver are you?
I'm in a commercial
drive area. Oh, that's so cool.
Yes, I'm
very hip. What can I say?
Yeah, you're very hip. That's true.
You can't live on commercial without
they they give you a test about how hip you are yeah you will you have to own a pair of
blundstones you have to own minimum one plaid shirt yes uh so you know it's uh it's a pretty
high barrier to kind of getting into the neighborhood do you have blendstones of course yes i've lived in vancouver my whole life i've
only recently owned a uh umbrella yes i've never owned blendstones and i only like
five years ago got my first pair of like rubber boots i mean i am shocked honestly i don't know how you've made it this long i mostly made it with
wet feet yeah wet sneakers everywhere i went sounds very uncomfortable yeah well this is life
man yeah exactly yeah this is you made your choices um do you have a question or a talent
i have no talent but i do have some questions here we go um oh yeah give them give
me a bunch oh sure i got them i got them written out you know i'm prepared nice um so i guess my
first question is um you know what are your guys's uh favorite and least favorite of the deceased uh
spy segments over there you're gonna say guests who's your least favorite
deceased guest just really going in you know it was invisible oh um my least what segments
i think the segments that died off died off for a reason that yeah for the most part they were just like we had we were
done with it i think the one that was probably the shortest and dumbest was road to rock band
yeah charting our success of the video game rock band graham you were not good at it oh so bad it's
crazy and then we would do the podcast and then we would play with whoever
guessed and uh they would just beat the pants off me every week yeah but that's that seems like a
bazillion years ago that that was the thing that people it was it was like a like a bazillion years
ago literally a bazillion yeah literally a bazillion. Yeah, literally a bazillion. I, oh boy.
I mean, the dumbest was Pop Rocks Minute,
where we talked about what was going on this week in Pop Rocks news.
Well, we ate Pop Rocks.
And we did news about, or like the Fanta,
we followed the Fanta company's tweets for a while.
Yeah, those, but that was great.
Yeah, they were a good follow.
They were a good follow, yeah. Like Ar follow they were a good follow yeah like arby's
is a good follow now arby's is doing a lot of funny stuff on twitter so if you're looking for
a new follow arby's everybody okay next question or talent next question i got still no talents
very untalented person uh the next question is, when you first started the podcast,
how long did you think it would go on for?
Five episodes.
I know.
I didn't think it was going to go for five episodes.
I wouldn't allow that.
I was like,
I would be too embarrassed to start something
and not go further than five episodes with it.
But I don't know if i had like a practical idea of what 12 years in the future looked like no exactly none
of us did we all thought it was going to be a green new deal and flying cars yeah flying cars
and pill food yeah that's right yeah that you would just have one pill rehydrated and that was a steak that's
maxine have we met in uh real life uh i don't i just just because you're from vancouver like have
we you have you said hello at a show or anything no i actually um i only got into the into the pod
in the last like couple of years and so I didn't have a chance
to... I don't think you guys have had
live Vancouver shows that I've been to.
Okay. Well, we have one
coming up this month,
so come see us.
If you wear a mask,
so help me.
We are
anti-maskers.
We're going to be doing a show
at the kissing festival
that's right
it's the kissing festival
brought to you by Paul Stanley from KISS
yeah
next question
this is the last one because I was not
that prepared
you have five minutes
I'm just
trying to run down this clock uh would you rather watch the irishman in one sitting no phones no
breaks or uh listen to a three-hour recording of the mouth sounds that Dave edits out from the podcast.
Oh,
wow.
Uh,
well,
Dave has no choice.
He has to do it every week.
Uh,
watch the Irishman.
Yeah,
I do.
I,
uh,
I own,
I,
I made a vow to,
you know,
whoever's in that.
Yeah.
Bob De Niro.
I didn't see,
I didn't watch the Irishman at all.
Uh,
so,
so I don't know.
Uh,
but I do listen to the sounds and I guess I've made my choice.
Yeah.
Yeah,
that's right.
And I've watched the Irishman and I think I broke it into three or four parts.
And,
uh,
even that was tough.
So, yeah, sounds good. You guys have already made your respective choices then. Yes, absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. arts and even that was tough. So yes,
you guys have
already made your
respective choices
then.
Yes,
absolutely.
Yeah.
Well,
thank you,
Maxine.
Thank you guys so
much.
I just log off now.
Yeah,
please do.
Just slam your
computer shut.
That's how it works,
right?
Yeah.
Thank you.
Bye.
Oh, that was easy. I didn't have to do it
there you go
uh
well our
our 635 didn't show up
so let's go to our 640
640
here we go
connecting
a zeep zorp
how long are these lines open for
in like 10 more minutes
hi
hello
hi this is so fun welcome to the show thank you this is fun How long are these lines open for? In like 10 more minutes. Hi. Hello.
Hi.
Welcome to the show.
This is fun.
Oh, are you wearing a Stop Podcasting Yourself shirt too?
Nice. I actually am the one who asked for it in the Facebook group,
so I felt like I had to rep.
Nice.
What's your name?
I'm Jen.
And where are you calling from?
I am in the Philadelphia suburbs.
Okay.
So, so gritty.
Well, it's always sunny there.
That's what I heard.
Yeah, so dirty.
How are you doing this evening?
I'm great.
I was just, I'm drinking scotch.
It's late over there.
Ooh, a scotch.
Yeah, nice.
Yep, very classy.
I was just complaining to my husband like yesterday
nothing fun and unexpected happens anymore in pandemic and then this happened
pretty fun yeah it's fun it's pretty fun i should maybe i'll drink scotch later it seems like you
have any i highly recommend yeah i always have i alwaysotch. Why? Do you drink it a lot, Graham?
No, but I like having it on hand.
It's like, it's a nice thing.
Like, hey, what a crappy day it was.
Let's drink scotch. Because I have some, too, and I don't know.
You just have it with ice?
Yeah, with like a ton of ice.
Like a slurpee.
Yeah, I mix it into a slurpee, and then i put ice cubes in over that
my last date night with my husband pre-pandemic it was like the day before lockdown we were like
we went to a whiskey bar and i'm like this is great we're gonna do this more often right and
he's like oh yeah we're gonna do this like once a month. Yeah. Do you, are you, none of us own those stones, right?
No, no, no, not that fancy.
I mean, it's not a fancy thing.
It's a thing.
It's like a thoughtless Christmas gift
that you receive from someone who's like,
I don't know, you want these?
It's like a secret Santa or like Yankee swap kind of thing.
It's on every like guy's gift guide you know totally shave your pubes
and get some whiskey soon also like i know that uh like i've been gifted some beer beard oil and
it's just like it's too it smells too pungent you can't i don't know how people could wear that on
their face it's so how long is it now graham down to y'all does it grow like it seems
like it's been down to y'all for uh five years i think my beard is out of energy i think that's as
far as it's gonna go have you tried uh like i'm not gonna say it because there's a woman
not jacking off for a while this is exceeding all expectations
have i considered it absolutely
so i have more questions about scotch do you is it a one like for me
the because i have a bottle of it but i won't drink it i only drink
it in winter or like cold days yeah yeah like summertime the day before lockdown was cold enough
um probably not but it was we were doing this like um tour of all our like favorite places
okay did you know at the time that when you went out that night
did you know you were going to be locked down soon nope even for like two weeks because like
i remember the like march 13th 14th we were like okay well let's send the kids on one more play
date before we have two weeks of no more play date right yeah what was the last thing dave that you
did before like out of the house kind of whatever fun thing last thing, Dave, that you did before,
like out of the house,
kind of whatever fun thing,
or maybe not fun thing that you did before at all,
like on the 13th.
I don't know.
Uh,
I don't have fun.
I was,
I recall I was at a corporate where there was somebody doing up close magic.
Yes.
I felt like this is not the right time
for that not that there's a great time for it but that definitely was the worst um jen did you have
a question or a talent oh god i wish i had a talent you guys but no i've been panicking for
like the past three hours like what am i gonna ask going to ask? Or it's okay. I mean, we've been doing the show for an hour and 45 or something.
And none of the questions have been any good.
Okay.
Well,
here is one question.
I have a daughter who is like a week younger than Poppy.
And I want to know what's your favorite,
like curse in front of the kids.
I'm like to curse without them knowing oh I don't do that I'm I'm kind and I have a beautiful soul um uh no I don't really have like a favorite thing that I do I have favorite things that
they do like Poppy's my favorite thing that she does is she can't pronounce the irs or
ers and so she is like a like girl and purple and and i i shaved my beard yesterday after having it
for three years and she saw me and she said dad you look like a nerd but like if you stub your toe in front of them you're just like
ouch okay you just say fuck okay um what do you have one i i go with fudge i feel like that's a
classic it comes out so naturally yeah mother fudger yeah i think i maybe say crap factory
or something like that yeah yeah try
foosh nickens that'll be a fun oh yeah that'll be a fun f word one to try out just to bring in
you know some variety into your life that's good because you can really go and then yeah yeah yeah
yeah yeah that's good good that's a very that's a very good question that was that was an excellent
question i liked it too thanks guys thanks um well thank you so much for calling thanks for doing this this is really cool i've been i've been
thinking a lot about how important podcasts are to me and i feel like in my 30s and 40s they're
like what music was in my teens and right you know and so i don't know you guys are just important
to all so are we like you're morrissey is that Is that kind of? Yeah, kind of. I was a big
R.E.M. fan, so I guess like one of you is
Michael Stipe, maybe.
Dave. Dave
might be Michael Stipe.
One, two, three, not it.
Kind of like intense.
I'm more of like
I think of myself as like
kind of a
meatloaf. Yes.
Sure, sure. Yeah. But only meatloaf from the rocky horror picture show that's the entire only meatloaf singing the national anthem a couple years ago
doesn't have it anymore can i am i can i take a screenshot yeah sure can we use it yeah sure i
like um read a wiki how article of like what to do when you meet
celebrities and it was like always ask for you to take a picture that would be helpful
yeah it was it was really helpful um have you met any celebrities
it's just kind of you guys yes sorry about your luck
all right cool thank you get that shot okay thank you so much thanks bye happy new year
you too bye hey last caller we lost one in the middle someone didn't show up here we go
time to knock it out of the in the waiting room for 10 minutes
and here she is and is she going to turn on her camera yes there it is
here it is it's all happening hello even graham how are you oh good how are you i'm doing very
well thanks now what is your name my name is kylie and where are you i am in my office, which is in Winnipeg, Manitoba.
Winnipeg, Manitoba.
Okay.
Thank you for calling.
Now, we've met.
Yes.
Yeah.
Now, we remember you as the person who came to our show in Winnipeg.
Yes.
And what did you do during the show there, Kylie?
I was listening very attentively.
I was engaged.
And you were knitting.
You were mining your knitting.
Yeah,
I was knitting right now.
Are you still knitting?
Is it the same thing?
Is it the world's longest scarf?
Yeah,
I've been,
I've been knitting the world's largest sweater.
Nice.
No, I'm just always knitting.
And Kylie, you gave me this.
Is that right?
I did, yeah.
Oh, you still have it.
You gave me this reminder that I have on my desk of what our phone number is so I can look over.
Anytime we have calls during overheards, i need a reference to remember what our phone
number is and i still have it yeah thank you so much wonderful oh you're very welcome
yeah that was remembered and you kept that that was a we remember everyone who's ever wronged us
i'm on your shit list now.
Kylie, how's Winnipeg tonight?
It's actually, it's beautiful.
Our weather has been almost Vancouver-like lately.
Oh, wow. Which, like, I mean, I say beautiful.
I want some more snow.
So we're getting a big storm tomorrow.
So it'll be good.
So this is, you like being in a winter wonderland?
Yeah.
Because if it's cold cold you may as well have
snow so you can go out and do stuff because when it's not cold or like when it's not snowy and then
you just have cold and then yeah that sucks i think i've had like two white christmases in my
lifetime oh really yeah they're nice that's all you've been dreaming of i've been i have been
dreaming of a white Christmas.
What do you got?
You got snow tires?
Oh, yeah.
You got chains?
No.
That's only for ice fishing.
Nice.
Nice.
That's a shirt, right? Yeah.
It's a shirt only for ice fishing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
yeah yeah um what uh uh now do you have a question or a talent to show off can you show can you show me what you're knitting um yeah this is i'm knitting another sweater
here i'll show you because i was wearing it today this is the sweater i knit while i was in the show
oh wow wow that's a sweet sweat. Yeah, that's pretty great.
Yeah, and I know this is amazing for an audio format.
For the home listener, it's a sweet sweat.
Yeah, it's as good a sweater as you're ever going to see.
We call it a lopapesa.
A lopapesa?
What's the dialect on that?
That's Icelandic.
Ah.
Oh, here's a talent.
I can pronounce the name of that
that volcano that
erupted a while ago
oh yeah yeah yeah
I do have a question
but I can just shoot the shit with you guys forever
yeah well let's do it
you're our last caller of the night
sweet so I got of the night yeah sweet
so i got all the time yeah how how has it been it's been a disaster start to finish everybody's
been mean to us um when we don't know my first question was um how dare you how dare you okay let's see uh you have all-wheel drive yeah okay i'll actually ask you a question
now do you want to know about my car no um oh squirrel ate my car well no i'll ask you
what no i don't mean squirrel ate your car so our car wouldn't we have this um problem with
squirrels for some reason i live in a city but we have this
problem um yeah squirrels are city animals yeah they make it yeah but like they don't just nest
in your car normally fair we got a brand new car um not to break we got a brand new car we're
leasing it and uh there were squirrels that just packed it full of nuts that was last year so we got a trap
and that's like something that would happen to goofy
like packed with nuts you have no idea that's so funny and then a couple weeks ago our car
wouldn't start we couldn't figure out why and we took it to the dealer um they had chewed all of the wiring in our car wow it's not only that but
they had chewed through parts of the battery so the battery was leaking um battery acid i guess
on some other parts so yeah oh that's fine that's fine yeah just rub a little bit of that in your hair. It's good.
Wow, we have squirrels.
I had to set up those spikes where pigeons,
in places like train stations where they don't want pigeons to land,
I had to set up some spikes because some squirrels were,
they hadn't set up a nest, but they were just like,
this is where I will eat my lunch every day.
Yeah.
Yes.
Did it work?
Yeah, it seems to have.
But they it was like in the spring.
So we'll see what happens next spring.
They're going to get craftier. That's what's going to happen.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, parts of our car, they chewed like um this like liner that's inside
the hood of the car um they chewed it and we found it in our trees in the spring nice wow yeah
how does a lease work do they like is that accounted for so for our leased car they they
just packed it with nuts and then we put it into the garage and never leave it outside
of the garage but our other car is the one that's now oh sure squirrel the wiring is completely
redone yes wow yeah so so you you have a question is that correct oh yeah sorry yeah oh you know
it's fine yes it's not like calling you on the carpet no no no not at all it's fine it's fine. Yes. It's not like calling you on the carpet. No, no, no, not at all. It's fine.
It's fine.
Okay.
So this first one's for Dave.
Okay.
Where does your seemingly encyclopedic knowledge of music come from?
It's insane.
Well, it's not insane.
Okay.
It's not insane for somebody like me who knows nothing about music.
It's. Yeah, but I know nothing about Icelandic. Yeah, it's not insane. For somebody like me who knows nothing about music, it's... Yeah, but I know nothing about Icelandic.
Yeah, that's true.
Dave knows Bjork and that's it.
Except I do know a lot of Icelandic music
to be fair.
Kaleo? Bjork?
Uh-huh, sure.
Yeah, you're welcome.
Yeah.
I, uh, no, I just always liked music and i would like
uh read magazines and even read like the you know um uh liner notes on albums and
didn't i didn't have like friends or anything. It was your friend. Yeah.
So I would,
uh,
yeah,
but it's,
I,
I,
I don't have an encyclopedic knowledge of all music,
just the music I got into.
So it's not like across the board.
Okay.
It's a very,
uh,
narrow,
but deep,
but,
um,
narrow.
Yeah. Like very on a stretch. Yeah, absolutely. I, narrow but deep but um narrow yeah like mariana's trench yeah absolutely i i don't have any knowledge of that i couldn't tell you if it's deep and narrow but also do you know mariana's trench
the band no i don't oh that was like a double entendre is that how that works? Yeah, they're Canadian and that's all I know. Ah, okay.
Okay.
Awesome, thanks.
Hey, no problem.
Yeah, for sure.
Grant.
Yes.
So we all know you're a comedian.
Yeah. We know lots of things about you.
Yeah.
But what is one thing, or many things, I don't know,
that people don't really know about you that you'd like to share?
Oh, here it is.
This is going to get us on the most wanted list.
Something that I haven't told to put out there publicly.
You know what?
No, everybody knows.
I was going to say I'm a really bad singer,
but everyone knows that.
You literally put out a podcast about it. Oh, yeah, yeah.
That didn't mean I could do it.
You know?
This one's called Stop Podcasting
Yourself. We haven't done that.
So, still there.
I would say
I'm really stymied
here. Let me, give me another
question and I'll come back around to it.
Okay.
Um,
do you each listen to podcasts?
And if so,
which ones do you listen to?
Uh,
yeah.
Dave.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's too,
too big.
Yeah.
I listened to so many.
I listened to like every comedy podcast that is popular.
I have at one point probably listened to it.
I have, you know, a bunch of favorites.
I'm, you know, the Doughboys and Hollywood Handbook and Retail Nightmares and Stay at Homehomekins and my favorite murder and attitudes.
And I'm looking at my phone now, so that's that.
I'm listening to this podcast about Freddy Adu, the soccer player.
How do you do?
So, yeah, I know.
For my day job, I do podcasting stuff, too.
So I'm always researching stuff as well so
uh i have favorites and i have things i listen to that i don't even enjoy
oh and you want to go for like a hateful walk like you don't want to enjoy yeah yeah yeah
those on like oh boy i'm supposed to do a thing about
uh this uh i'm supposed to write some music thing so i have to listen to this music show that i
don't even like uh graham um the two podcasts i've been listening to recently is one's called
you were wrong about and uh it it takes like a uh like a famous thing either like uh the woman who sued mcdonald's
because she got the coffee spilled on her lap or princess diana's death like things that you think
you know about like there's one on anna nicole smith that's really really great uh you know
things that you know because you've heard them anecdotally but then they really dive into it and
say okay this is, this is what,
this is what you didn't know.
And then there's another one I listened to called Grifthorse,
which is Howard Kramer and Megan Beth Keister.
And they figure out like good cons that you can pull and ways to flip things
on eBay and all that kind of stuff. Yeah. it's great. It's a really fun listen.
Fun.
It's awesome.
Yeah.
Graham, did you think of an answer to that other one yet?
Yeah, you know what is the thing that I've only realized about myself
is that I'm always at the mercy of technology.
I can't master any technology.
It's always kicking me around.
Every time that I try to do one thing, seven things go wrong,
and it becomes my whole day trying to fix it.
So I'm not a Luddite.
I want to be in on the technology,
but technology is not interested in having me on board.
Oh, no.
Yeah.
That's a good one.
Yeah, thank you.
Yeah, good one, Graham.
There's an Onion headline this week about a grandson being upset that his...
The word has spread to a grandson that his grandmother has gotten a new phone.
I'm that in my family.
I'm the person who has to set up people's phones.
Oh, yeah.
That's my husband.
My mom got a speaker under her pillow that she needs to set
up to her bluetooth boy i'm sure fine yeah it's gonna be great with uh zoom and everything this
uh this holiday season yeah trying to figure that out um okay now this one oh there's more okay well i won't like i don't know no do it yeah do it
this is it is this your last one we like because we need to build it up yeah okay this is my last
one but you're knitting needles down emotional it's gonna no no no i'm kidding well i don't um so finally do you guys understand how much you mean to other people
no no we don't we have no no we don't we don't and when people write to us and say when you
when you said this thing we don't know what you're talking robots we're just programmed to to you know say dumb things and
then go away yeah exactly what is that like so for because oh it's erotic
but like you you both listen to podcasts so it's you know you kind of you i think you understand
the the other side of it but for all of those of us who listen we listen to you every week so it's
it kind of it sounds stupid but it kind of feels like we know you even though we don't i don't
think that sounds stupid yeah well agree to disagree but it's a very strange thing so what's that like
and like also kind of on the the other side of that is what can because you support so many
other people with just having a show which is a strange thing to say but what can we do to support you guys in the show just keep listening just keep yeah yeah
yeah keep listening supporting us um when it's time when it's time to support the show support
the show um but uh yeah i mean in terms of like it's nice we we get messages from people saying, you know, that, yeah, where we help them through a hard time or,
uh,
et cetera.
Yeah.
And it's nice.
Um,
it is,
it's nice.
And it's,
uh,
it's a privilege to,
it is,
you know,
to be able to do this kind of thing and be able to reach people all over is
really,
you know,
a really privileged thing to have. Yeah. We're right on the edge all over is really, you know, a really privileged thing to have.
Yeah, we're right on the edge of people being like, you know, you guys are a blight on society.
Our long national nightmare is over.
Yeah.
But as long as we're on the other edge, it's warm and fuzzy to get those messages.
Yeah.
It's nice to be here.
Good.
Good.
All right.
That's,
that's a great question to end on.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Thanks.
Well,
thank you.
Sorry.
I feel like I just brought it down.
It's,
it's,
we're going to do the countdown to the end of the year.
Do you want to be there for us?
Yeah.
Also,
these are not going to sync up at all.
So, well, first of all,
before we end the show,
thank you to everyone who called in.
Thank you to everyone who listened
and thanks to everyone for a great year.
I know it has not been a great year for most people,
but we appreciate everyone who listens
and we are very thankful
to have such a wonderful audience.
Yeah, and, you know,
continue as much as you can
to take care of yourself
and those people around you
because that's the most important thing
you can be doing during this time. So take care, people around you. Cause that's the most important thing you can be doing during this time.
So take care,
all of you and should all the acquaintance be forgot.
Don't ask me.
Here we go.
10,
nine,
eight,
Kylie,
seven,
six,
five,
four,
three,
three, two, 4, 3, 2,
1.
1.
2.
1.
Happy New Year.
Happy New Year, everybody.
Happy New Year.
Bye, all.
Thanks, guys.