Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 68 - Kaitlin Fontana

Episode Date: June 23, 2009

Improvisor/Sketch Performer/Writer Kaitlin Fontana joins us to talk ghosts, Star Trek conventions, and apathetic audiences.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello, everybody, and welcome to episode number 68 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and joining me as always is a man who you might want with you if you're ever lost in the woods because he always points north, Mr. Dave Shumka. That's right, because I'm a chick magnet.

There's a lot of chicks up there? Yeah, in the north And joining us today A very special guest On an edition where we're taping earlier in the day Than we ever have before It's almost noon Did we do a morning edition?

When we used to do Morningside That was our original show We did early edition Our guest today, improviser Member of the duo, fair to say, Pony Hunters. Also member of Rosa Parks Improv. Quartet. Quartet. And writer for Rolling Stone Online.

And all around a fascinating individual. Also tour guide of the city of Vancouver, Caitlin Fontana. Thank you for joining us. Hi. Thanks. How you doing? Welcome. I. Hi. How are you doing? Welcome. I'm good.

How are you guys? Good. Doing all right. Great. Yeah. Good. You were lucky enough to not have to work today at your tour guide function. It's true.

It's kind of an on-call thing. Can I stop you for a moment? Yes. Let's get to know us. Get to know us. Sorry for derailing us. Tour guide, go! Go! I lead four-hour city tours of the city of Vancouver. In a costume. In a costume, which is not dissimilar to that of Indiana Jones. Oh, the professor. Yes, the professor, although I'm a professor of Canadian history at the University of British Columbia, if anyone asks. Oh, okay.

On the tour. On the tour. As far as this tour goes. Yes. And it's weird. There's like this truth fiction line where people are like, okay, I get you're not really an adventurer. But I've had people on the tour be like, so what kind of classes do you teach? I'm like, it's clear that I'm not old enough for...

So they believe the professor part, but not the adventure part. I just love giving tours to supplement my income. Indeed. As a professor. As a professor. I haven't reached tenure yet. Yes.

Publish or perish. There's this crazy setup that's like, I can't give a tour today because the Golden Loonies have been stolen from the Vancouver Art Gallery. Prime Minister Stephen Harper needs us to find them. And so it's supposed to be like a quest where we find the loonies somewhere along the line during the day. So, yeah, it's a bit...

Great. Great. It's a bit great. Yeah. Now, where... Are the Golden Loonies. Yeah, where are the Golden Loonies? In the driver's dashboard.

Oh, okay. Holder. Oh, do they have chocolate in them? Yes, they do. Okay, so is it kind of one of those things is like there's no place like home? Is that supposed to be the moral? Like you don't have to look beyond your own back door for the adventure that you seek? I think you're reading too much Instagram. Because all these people getting the tour they're not from

here no they're usually from the u.s or parts beyond so there is a place better than home the um so you go through it's i'm assuming through to kind of downtown the greater vancouver area yep uh so what four hours that is a long, because I'm trying to think of what you would see in four hours in Vancouver. Give us a brief tour. Okay. So you start at Canada Place. You go up into Stanley Park, Totem Poles, Prospect Point, come back down through by

West End area, English Bay. Then you get on a boat, go to Granville Island, hang out at Granville Island for half an hour, get back on another boat, go to Science World, go from Science World to Chinatown, Gastown, and back to a Canada place. Do you steer them, when you're going from Chinatown to Gastown, do you gloss over the downtown east side? We're supposed to. We're supposed to ignore it, which is ridiculous, and I don't. Right.

Wow. So is that like from kind of like the head of the company or something? Like, hey, okay, let's just gloss over the... It's kind of one of those things that's, yeah, trickled down. It's not like a thing that they said outright, but it was gleaned from various things. Yeah. Yeah, they don't want me to talk about this, I don't think. Because we literally cruise past like one street where if you look down, you see the entirety of the downtown east side.

But then it's like, you're done. Yeah, it's gone. You're into Gastown. And everybody's like, what was that? And you're like, nothing. Keep going. Golden coins. We've got to find them.

Yeah. Wow. Yeah, I talk about it, but I don't think we're supposed to. Now, you were telling me before the show that you used to include stuff about the haunted parts of Vancouver. Yeah, I tried a few times to like, do you guys know about the Red Lady? Yeah, because I went on the Vancouver haunted tour that they do around Halloween or whatever. Yeah, yeah. I talked about her.

Yeah, in the hotel Vancouver, because it's burned down a few times. There's supposedly this lady who dresses in red and doesn't do much. Walks around, serves you tea, apparently. If you supposedly this lady who dresses in red and doesn't do much, walks around, serves you tea, apparently. If you turn on that song Lady in Red, she cannot resist appearing. Then she goes by a piano with silk draped over it. But, yeah, no, I've talked about it a few times, being like, isn't it cool?

There's a ghost here, and every time it doesn't fly. I don't know. People just aren't into ghosts these days. Who knows? You wouldn't know that from the number of shows on TV with ghost hunters and stuff. You would assume that ghost popularity was at an all-time post-Ghostbusters high. Although I don't know

that people watch those shows more than once. I think you get the full effect. I don't know. My sister loves Medium. Which one is Medium? Is that a live? That's the one with, what's her face?

Patricia Arquette. Yeah, Arquette. What's the one with Jennifer Love Hewitt? Ghost Whisperer. And what's the one with the one that's Canadian made? Is that The Listener? That doesn't have anything to do with ghosts, does it? Yeah, I don't know.

Okay. We don't know what he listens to. Yeah, he might listen to ghosts. Maybe he listens to us. He's a big fan. The listener does listen. It's a show about listening to podcasts. Are there more haunted haunts?

There supposedly are. Stanley Park. The Vogue is supposed to be super haunted. We don't go by the Vogue, you can see the vogue is supposed to be super the vogue we don't go by the vogue but uh yeah the vogue is supposed to be they're supposed to be like loggers wandering around stanley park at night oh that would suck to be logging all the way into the afterlife like you have to log all for all eternity oh what a miserable and the trees won't fall down in real life well the lady in red she's just at a hotel

in a nice red dress she's having ghost sex with the people at the hotel she's a ghostitute yeah so but then if you're a logger that would be the worst like oh you just have a job logging for all time that's unfortunate now are there ghost trees

because if the ghost yeah they would fell they would be so frustrated these trees won't fall down i'm wearing flannel i'm getting wet the weird thing with the ghosts they always say like this ghost doesn't leave because there's unresolved business but then all they ever do is just like something trivial like walk around and like oh like up here they don't try and solve a crime like in the movie ghost you know what i'm saying yeah right they never help you with your pottery yeah why doesn't someone resolve their issues? I don't know. Why don't they make a television show about someone trying to resolve their issues?

While listening to podcasts. Ghost listener. Ghost listener. So what else is going on? So that's the job. That's a way to make it. It's a living. Yeah. What else is going on? So that's the job. That's a way to make it. It's a living. Yeah.

What else is going on? Yeah, lots of sketch stuff. We just did the music waste, comedy waste, as you guys did as well. When I say we, myself and Nicole Passmore. You guys were on the thing at the Biltmore? Yes, we were. How'd it go? It went well.

Yeah, we were very pleased with how people responded to us. As a sketch group, we've been together less time than most of the other acts that were there. And you guys are very funny. The Pony Hunters I watched. You have two videos online, maybe more, but I've only seen two. Yeah. Both very hilarious. Thank you.

There's one that's like a long. It's super long. It's like 10 minutes long or something. Yeah, it's more of a short film than a sketch. It's an investment. But I enjoyed it. I enjoyed the whole ride. Good.

It was good fun. You and I liked the other video. Why, thank you, Danny. Yeah. So between the two of us, we've really run the gamut. Covered. Yeah, so we did that, and we're doing the Oleo Festival in August, so we have to prepare for that.

Oh, yeah, apparently I'm doing that, too. Yeah, I think I said I would do do it i don't know what that is yeah it's uh it's a music and art and comedy thing i think i'll see you there yeah sure nicole and i are going to uh to a star trek convention in las vegas right before that so that's no whoa whoa really yeah how's it yeah can we delve into that a little bit? Yeah, of course. What's going on with that? Anything up your sleeve? We're huge Star Trek fans, as you could probably glean from any of our videos that we've done before. I'm more of a Next Gen fan.

She's more of a classic series. Nice. C.S. Yeah, so we, I don't know, it just sort of like climaxed into this thing where we were like, let's do this. And so we bought tickets to the... Costume, no costume. Costume. I have a uniform.

Do you really? Yeah, I have a captain's uniform from the Next Gen series. You got that at another convention? Did you have it made? No, I bought it on this gem of a place called the Internet. Whoa, wait, wait, wait. Whoa, whoa. Go on.

Yes. That's a place where you sometimes purchase clothes unsure of whether they will fit you or not. What's the fit on it? Is it Star Trek size? Graham's making it a large-ass. A larger individual size? Or is it civilian?

I banked on my general shortness and went for a small, which was an okay decision. However, the crotch to neck ratio is a little bit tight. So if I sit down in it, then it's not comfortable. What if you sit down in it captain style, kind of like all sprawled out? Is it okay? Maybe that was the intention. What if you're being beamed? Ah kind of like all sprawled out is it okay what if you're being beamed ah leaning back like a 45 degree yeah lean captain didn't just sit down in deck

chairs no no no and didn't sit up straight unless you are picard he sat straight as an arrow just like his intentions yeah exactly engage yeah of all the cast who is your favorite uh star trek character it's tough because i have to pick one and you have to pick whoopi goldberg i have a friend who was in a uh star trek next generation like parody when she was in like grade four or something like that and she played gynon which is the Whoopi Goldberg character, in blackface with a nylon on her head with a frisbee inside it to imitate Guinan's hat. It's not bad.

Yeah, that's all right. The blackface. Controversial. Yes. That was probably the 90s when it was still okay. Yeah, because Ted Danson did it imitating Whoopi, so then, you know.

I think Arsenio Hall, he did it too, right? For a lot of years. Yeah, yeah. So, okay, so it's not Guinan. We've established that. If you had to pick one, I think we know the answer. It's Picard. It's Picard?

It's Wesley Crusher. I used to read his blog. Not Wesley's, but Wil Wheaton's. Wil Wheaton, Wil Wheaton yeah why'd you stop because he started talking about poker a lot so I got bored

that kind of bums me out too yeah yeah I would have to say Riker if I'm going to pick somebody because as much as Picard is you know he's the touchstone

I think Riker embodies the sort of dangerous kind of he's the guy with the beard yeah the goatee he's the director the goatee. He's the director.

The goatee. And star of my favorite Star Trek novel, Imzadi. Yeah. Yeah. Well, if you had to pick one Star Trek novel, that was my next question, so you've already jumped ahead. Imzadi. It's, uh, that means eternal love in the Beta Zed language, which is Deanna

Troy's language. So you go deep. You go deep on this. A little deep. Not like the kind where I'm like, in episode 3.10. But you could have a conversation with somebody who was doing that. Somewhat. But I'm more the story, you know, character side more than the technical side. Nice. Yeah. I think the funniest episode, and I mean, it doesn't have a lot of competitors.

A Family Guy was the one with the cast of The Next Generation was on on it did you see that i did yes hysterical that was a hysterical episode um you didn't see it i don't remember shrugging oh shrugging indifferently um i haven't watched in a long so and then nicole passmore passest, she's an original Star Trek fan. Very much so. Very heavily. Do you want to answer for her? What's her favorite novel? Her favorite novel.

I don't think she's actually delved into the, I think she's read some of the Shatner books about sort of the- Tech Wars. Tech Wars. Yeah. I think she's actually read Tech Wars. But I can't speak to her favorite novel. It seems like...

Who's her favorite character? Kirk. Really? Well, no. Okay, she's going to be mad at me now. It's more so Spock, but she has a... Similar to the Riker thing, she has an affection for Kirk that goes pretty deep. But Spock is her favorite character in terms of philosophy.

Absolutely. Yeah. You know who I've never met anybody whose favorite character was Bones? She likes Bones, too, actually. Really? She's a pretty big Bones fan because of the sort of snappy one-liners.

That's kind of a power corner. Yeah, that's true. I'm a fan of the TV series Bones with David Boreanaz as Bones. I've never seen it. He's not Bones. No, he's not. A woman is B it. He's not bones. No, he's not. A woman is bones. Emily Deschanel.

So you're going to go to this Star Trek convention in Las Vegas. Yeah, in the middle of August in a Star Trek uniform. I went to Las Vegas in the middle of August two years ago. And you'll be staying inside. Yeah. There's going to be a lot of sweaty nerds around. Now, do you, because you're too lady folk, and the general notion is that these guys don't have a ton of experience

around the lady folk. Do you freak them out? Or are you going to give them an experience? Yeah. Or, like, you know, are you the hot ticket? Like, can you kind of get into areas of the convention that the conventional nerd could not because you're feminine wiles? That's what we're hoping for. My personal goal, and I hope that Nicole doesn't listen because it's like filed away, is that I want her to.

She doesn't listen. I'm going to cajole her to make out with a Klingon at some point during this. But she's classic series, so shouldn't she make out with a Talosian? Yes, perhaps that's true. But if I succeed in making her make out with a Klingon, then I've sort of won

in some way, because I've gotten her to prove some sort of physical affection towards next-gen characters. I'm not a Star Trek fan have you been to another convention before accidentally once yeah when i was a kid uh i was at a it was a blackface convention i was at a blackface convention and it's called the mammy. I went in the wrong door. Yeah, you get it. I don't get it. I do. Unfortunately, I get it.

Learn your racism, Dave. Okay. I was actually at a sportsman convention because my father was a... Hunter-gatherer. Well, you're not too far off. My father was a mountain guide, professional hunter, essentially. Mountain guide. Tour guide. In one generation yeah so i used to go with him to that to be like the cute bait that would get the

the trophy wives to be like oh honey look at that little girl in the glasses let's go talk to her dad uh yeah see he was he was a consummate uh hunter he knew yeah you have to come with bait to every type of function. And then he would tranquilize the women. I think that, yeah, that it was totally, I had like an exhibitor's pass and I would wander around and there was another convention. It was like in some huge convention center where there's like six conventions that can happen at one time.

And I just wandered in the wrong door. And I wasn't even a Star Trek fan yet. It might actually have been the catalyst. As a 10-year-old going from like old men who talk about all the things they've killed into another door where it's like this magical world of peace and harmony. I was like, woo, walking around excited. Plus there were lots of books and I loved books. Because I had a really good friend

when i was like about that age like maybe 12 that was really into star trek like in a big big way and i had to go to like a convention or meeting or something with her we were kids and i was only into the classic not into the other one because i couldn't be bothered to learn yeah i didn't want to learn i have a lifelong hate of learning um but yeah it's uh as a kid that didn't freak you out because it freaked me out she was into it but i uh i didn't i don't think i saw much of the obsessive behavior just walking around but the obsessive behavior still freaks me out a little bit just when you see that a couple yeah a couple weeks ago when this uh like i think a week after the Star Trek movie came out

at the Rio Theater, they had Con Con. Did either of you check that out? I was busy and not interested. I read what was going to be happening and my favorite thing on the list was a rap battle. Klingon rap battle yeah but see here's the thing that uh can i say this is honest i didn't go because of the cling on rap battle because the rules were you could just make it up and i was like no that's not cling on that's made up shit like that's not that's not real so you know what was going on and boycotted it somewhat

what if they meant like you oh if you're a master at cling on and boycotted it? Somewhat. Sounds like you did. Oh, if you're a master at Klingon, you can just make it up. If they meant that, they should have said that. If you're fluent. Right. Oh, what? So... You think that they say you could just make up nonsense words that weren't Klingon.

You think that you could just make it up as you go along as long as it's in Klingon. Yeah. If you were right, Dave Shamka, then I have missed out. What I read was actually... Yeah, in a big way. Huge way. Was that just try not to swear, but if you do, keep it in Klingon.

Really? Yeah. I think we read similar but different things. How many Star Trek series have there there been or what are the other ones there aren't any other ones what's the one with a great theme song enterprise the one with the singing yeah enterprise it's like the truth of the heart or something yeah yeah yeah i love that there's deep space Space Nine, Voyager, Enterprise. There wasn't another one, was there?

What about Battlestar Galactica? Is that in the same? I like that voice. So that's going to be a fun little holiday. It's a working holiday. It is a working holiday. Are you recording anything? We're going to try.

You can't bring a video camera into the convention itself because that could ruin a lot of lives it could probably some pretty important dudes there that don't want that information out yeah uh no we're we're gonna try we're gonna do our best we're hoping to to get as much material from that as possible i really if there's anything that dave and i can do to encourage nicole pass best we're hoping to to get as much material from that as possible i really if there's anything that dave and i can do to encourage nicole passmore making out with a vulcan was it or a making out with a vulcan she will do anyway i don't have to push the ears but uh if there's anything that we can do to help please don't hesitate to let us know okay i can't imagine

what we could do to help. I don't know. Are you guys seal the deal kind of guys? Like if I'm at the last crucial moment and I can't figure out how to bring them together, could I call you guys and be like, how do I seal this deal? Yeah, yeah. We're good wingmen. Yeah.

Absolutely. Even over the telephone? Yeah. When you don't have visuals? Well, I'm a pretty good spatial organizer in my mind. As long as you set it out verbally, I can a pretty good spatial organizer in my mind as long as you set it out He's got a Klingon head and a Klingon uniform

They've drank a lot of Romulan ale Yeah, because there will be booze at this thing, right? It's for adults It is, and also the hotel, which is the Las Vegas Hilton has a Star Trek bar that's open year-round and that's why they have the convention there Do you know what would be awesome? Not just open in Star Trek season that's open year-round and that's why they have the convention there. Do you know what would be awesome?

Not just open in Star Trek season. Would it be the best to book, like, if you were like the cantina band from Star Wars, to book a gig in the Star Trek lounge during that week and you just play that one song? When I went to Vegas...

They'd be like, we're taking requests and somebody would be like the enterprise theme they'd be like one two um when i went to uh las vegas they just have the weirdest um branding like i don't know why the tv show extra needs a lounge the the tv's extra lounge yeah it's in planet hollywood isn't there like a show that's in a tattoo par The TV's extra lounge? Yeah, it's in Planet Hollywood. Isn't there like a show that's in a tattoo parlor that's filmed in a Vegas casino? Inked? Inked, yeah.

It hasn't been on in years. Oh, speaking of that, the other goal I have is to make Nicole and probably it will involve me also getting a comm badge tattooed on her chest. Okay. Do they, through the generations, do they have different badges?

Yes. Very different. And actually, in the original series, the badge is, it's not a badge. It's just a patch on the uniform. It doesn't do anything. Oh, that's right. But then in Next Gen, it's an actual communicator. Okay.

That's the, yeah, well, anything we can do to help seal the deal on that. I don't think that'll need any cajoling. Probably not. Although Nicole doesn't have any tattoos yet, so it could be a battle. Me neither. You neither. We're too tattoo-less. Yeah, but I wouldn't say I don't have any tattoos yet. You have tattoos, I'm assuming? Yeah, I have quite a few. Do you have any that are of the embarrassing 16-year-old variety? Oh, yeah, I have my name in Elvish on my back. I'll show you guys after this. Absolutely.

That won't be necessary. Yeah, it's there. Of the tattoos, how many are of the regrettable variety? Actually, I don't regret any of them because I have the perspective of that was me at the time. Oh, you are a museum. You are a collection. I'm the opposite. Yeah?

I'm divorced from my past selves. I mean, I knew a lot of people in high school that would get... I grew up in a small town in the mountains. You grew up in Fernie. In Fernie. And I know a lot of people in high school that would get... I grew up in a small town in the mountains. You grew up in Fernie. In Fernie. And I know a lot of people... Showed up to our listeners there. Yeah.

Fernie, probably my mother. The only... Mother's a big podcast listener? Well, my mother will discover things on the internet. She's the listener. She's like, this is funny. Wow. And it's stuff that I haven't found yet.

Yeah, she's quite forward thinking, my mom. Your mom's a hip lady. She is a hip lady. She actually gets tattoos with me, so that speaks to that do you guys get matching tattoos we've never gotten matching ones but we've gotten them at the same time a few times a few times wow yeah this is you must be i am imagining you're covered underneath like those ladies in the 20s exactly flapper ladies there's a snake that goes just everywhere guys uh. No, I just have six, but they're just little ones sort of all over the place. They're all black as well.

Yeah, I knew people in high school that got like the Tasmanian devil shooting a hockey puck. So I can see getting those ones redone because they're pretty specific. Mine are general enough that I haven't felt the need to really take back anything I've done so far. No regrets. No fear. Yeah, no fear fear what if you got a no fear tattoo you might have a regret about that my favorite one was a guy that i knew that got a hockey puck again this was a common theme uh actually looking like it was shooting out of the flesh of his arm so it was like the flesh bent back with like blood and stuff trickling down with this and it's like bone behind it was like the flesh bent back with like blood and stuff trickling down with this. And it's like bone behind it with like a hockey puck.

A guy that I work with just got married a month ago. He's an adult guy now. And he had to go. I think one of the conditions of the marriage was that he had to get this tattoo redone. And he got it done so that it said his wife's name, but it was previously a skull ripping out of his arms. Here's Johnny. Oh, God. Yeah.

That reminds me of a, just get a little dark here, it reminds me of a grave I saw in the Père Lachaise Cemetery in France where I went to see Jim Morrison. Yeah, that's it. And Oscar Wilde. And Oscar Wilde, yeah. the Père Lachaise Cemetery in France, where I went to see Jim Morrison. Yeah. Yeah. That's the way to do it. And Oscar Wilde, yeah. There was a gravestone that was made of marble and it had like a man crawling out of it. Oh, wow.

Could only presume to be the man who was buried underneath. Like it was like a statue of the man, but he was like crawling out of it. Wow. Yeah, it was wild. That's a, yeah, that's like like a vanishing art the gravestone because everybody's getting everybody's getting cremated it's a new thing yeah everybody can still get a monument yeah i guess so that's true you know what you know what i think that i'm surprised

hasn't come into style with so many people having tattoos is when you die getting that piece of skin with the tattoo on it stretched and mounted into maybe one of those old-style lamp shades that they used to have, like buckskin. But it's like your uncle's skin with the tattoos. Think about it. Okay. I will think about it.

And then I'll stop. Graham, shall we get to know you? We haven't recorded in a couple weeks. I know. And you'd think something would have happened. And you'd be wrong. Graham, shall we get to know you? We haven't recorded in a couple weeks. I know. And you'd think something would have happened. You'd be wrong. Very little has happened in the last couple weeks.

Although I did see a James Brown cover band. So that was pretty great. Where? The River Rock Casino. Yeah, it was after a show. I did a show, a charity event for a very funny comedian named Erwin Barker who has cancer and he came back to his cancer benefit. And then afterwards we went to this lounge and I was sitting with this guy from 22 Minutes, Mark Critch. I met him. And we were, yeah, we were just starting to have drinks.

And then it was kind of that thing like everybody was settled in and then there was a james brown cover band that just started and so you couldn't get out but you couldn't sit and watch it because it's not james brown so we just ended up making fun of everything for uh for like an hour and a half it was great how did you feel huh adequate all right i didn't feel great uh Did you know that you wouldn't? Would, didn't. Did you know that you would? But yeah, I'm trying to think of what else has gone on. When was the last time we recorded? Like 12 days ago.

That's very precise. Yeah, it was a Monday, but we didn't release it for a week. And then this we have to release right away. Yeah. Because people are clambering. I've been working. That's it. I've been working.

And when I haven't been working, I've been just, I watched Goodfellas for the third time this month on television. Why is that always? time this month uh on television why is that always that seems to be on friday or saturday nights or even sunday afternoons is the time filler movie of choice used to be days of thunder yeah or something of that elk now it's goodfellas all the time i always wonder who makes that decision i don't know i kind of love it like i like the thought of like some guy being like i want it's same as radio stations when you hear the playlist there's one song that plays a lot but it's not necessarily the most popular song right now or anything like that there's gotta be some programmer canadian yeah there's gotta be some programmer who is making that specific decision yeah there but there have been

movies that are always saturday afternoon movies yeah like it's always I Know What You Did Last Summer or Can't Hardly Wait or anything that Jennifer Loved You is in. But yeah, I've seen Goodfellas a lot too. And it's great if you've seen it before because you know you don't have to watch the whole thing. You can just check in, check out. There's a good scene coming up. But it's a terrible way to watch it the first time because it's three hours long plus commercials.

Is it really three hours long? It's really long. Because I watched the whole thing last night, start to finish. Well, maybe two and a half. Yeah. But it's very long. And they're probably, I don't know what channel it was, but they're probably editing out. No, this was the first time I've seen it on TV

where it was all swears and all violence. And no commercials. I think I want to say it was AMC. Yeah, that would happen. Late at night. But that's it. My whole existence now is working and then coming home, doing some work work and going to bed finding out when

goodfellas is on looking forward to the next time i get to watch goodfellas or once a month casino if i'm like it i've never seen casino so whenever i see it on tv i don't watch it it's outstanding it's long as well actually i think both of them are quite long because i remember i had the vhs cassettes both of those, and they were both doubles. Yeah, the double. That was always a weird thing, if you were watching a VHS thing, because sometimes it would go, it would be like a graphic, or sometimes it would just stop, and then you'd have to switch cassettes. Yeah. Very jarring.

A lot of movies didn't get to the second cassette that way. In the late 90s, I remember remember at blockbuster they had to put up a sign telling people how to return titanic oh could you had to unfold it and they would say on the sign i remember it said if you're returning a movie that has two vhs tapes i.e titanic titanic Titanic. Titanic. Titanina. You have to unfold it. But what they meant was EG Titanic. Unless people are renting no other movies but Titanic. Very good.

Are Blockbuster employees masters of Latin abbreviations? I don't think they are. No, doesn't seem to be the case. Oh, and I've seen a lot of movies in the theater that's something i've done in the last couple weeks i saw up and that's easily the best movie out right now hands down nothing defeating it and i saw the hangover last weekend which is as funny as you'd think it would be and uh but there was a jesse from The Sound of Young America,

Jordan Jesse Goh said, it will be the movie that douchebags consider their favorite movie. And he could not have been more right. That is the perfect, like word perfect review of that movie. It's very funny, but also the worst of society is going to glom onto that movie and claim it as their own. So that's kind of the unfortunate side of the whole thing is you can only enjoy it once and then that's here's the question for you what's the last movie that you think falls into that category wedding crashers no i thought wedding crashers was terrible huh yeah it was funny in the first chunk but then it

got really i think the last example like of a movie where i thought it was funny in the first chunk but then it got really i think the last example like of a movie where i thought it was funny and then douchebags lumped on it was borat ah you you seem to have something in mind yeah do you have you got something no i just was curious about that because i feel like that's a very specific categorization and being a nerd i like it when people can categorize various things within very specific categories. What you want is a spreadsheet. Indeed I do. Or at the very least a Venn diagram. Right, right, right.

I never learned Venn diagrams in school. They're just two circles. Yeah, yeah. I see them on the internet. People make funny Venn diagrams. I have no problem reading them. I was talking to Abby about that and she said she spent internet people make funny venn diagrams yeah and i have no problem reading them and i was

talking to abby about that and she said she spent months on venn diagrams in school well no i never did but didn't abby go to some kind of swedish school or swiss swiss abby actually she probably also went to a lot of watchmaking classes which we also did. Which in the Venn diagram of those two things, Swiss takes up the middle part and then watch and... And chocolate. Chocolate. And cheese. There's a little bit of cheese.

Actually, the high school she went to, she wasn't in the same class, but she went to the same school at the same time as Kim Jong-il's sons. One of whom will be the new leader of North Korea until he gets blown up. The other one, too effeminate. Oh, really?

What's his thing? He's going to be in charge of fashion? Or how do they do it in North Korea? They don't have a lot of fashion. They got big sunglasses and poverty. They started that and then Jessica Simpson took it and ran with it. Right, Jessica Simpson. I always thought it was amazing how Kim Jong-il looks like an old Jewish woman from New York.

Like, if you ever walk around New York, that's, like, very similar. The big sunglasses, the slicked back hair, like, like the outfits the scarves and things do you make regular uh sojourners to new york i tried you i lived there for a little while really yeah what happened what was that all about i was doing an internship at a magazine there so i was living there for a while and they did improv and stuff there as well like uh wow that's uh it's like the whole plot line of just Shoot Me, I think. Hey, did you ever watch the MTV show I'm From Rolling Stone? I did, actually. I know one of the winners of the first series of that.

I don't think there were any winners. The viewers, right? I think Jan Wenner won that one. That would be the editor of Rolling Stone who made money from that show. And made two or three appearances. Yeah. Anyway. Dave, what's going on with you buddy well uh i you know how i like going out to events no wait are you sure you're talking about yourself let me think back uh last week and maybe a week and a half ago. Abby and I went to a rock concert.

Oh, yeah. Put on at Richards on Richards. I went to a rock concert at Richards on Richards a week ago. Why didn't this come up? No, I didn't think it was. Now it's coming up because now it has a point. But go ahead. We went to go see.

I always thought this band was pronounced A-Camp, but they're called A-Camp. Oh, how embarrassing for you. thought this band was pronounced a camp but they're called a camp oh and embarrassing for you it if you haven't heard of them it's the lead singer from the cardigans oh cute little blondie girl yeah well she changes her hair color oh what's it now it's red now ooh not a chestnut go on and and uh she uh it's a guy from a band called sparkle horse and another guy why do i know sparkle horse i they were a late 90s um i think they toured with radiohead yeah i think you're right about that possibly dog star open for dog star a couple times yeah 40 odd foot of grunts. 20.

It was the cover band is 40-odd. They changed their name to The Ordinary Fear of God by the way. Really? Really? Same initials, but... Oh, clever. Is it?

Anyway, so we went to this concert and it was not full it they probably should have played a much much smaller venue i guess it was half full depending how you look at it and um they so they did the show and they were great uh crowd started leaving early, which I didn't understand. I mean, you paid all this money to go see a rock show. But it was kind of a weird, like, they kept having to shush the audience. It bummed me out a little bit. Can we say at the very least that one of the things that is bad about Vancouver is in general. We were talking about before the podcast which

audiences were worse the stand-up audiences or the improv audience but in general and not the audience that came out to see us uh record the podcast and i played to some lovely audiences here but in general a lot of bad audiences here extremely like a lot of people it seems that don't understand what going out to see a show is or requires of you as the viewer. Because that seems like par for the course, doesn't it?

Like a concert where the crowd is so loud with their chatting that they're louder than the band. Yeah. I've been to lots of those and it's amazing to me that so loud with their chatting that they're louder than the band. Yeah. Yeah. That doesn't, I've been to lots of those and it's amazing to me that people, again,

people will spend money to talk and stuff, but also. And to talk some nonsense. That people, bullshit stuff. Talk you ish. And that they don't get, like,

even if you have never been to a play or anything in your life do you not get the divide between you and the performer like how do you not understand that i don't i don't get that well i think uh i i don't know how people don't understand but the concert i went to at richards on richards was on a friday night and i i'm not sure the headlining band, I don't know who they were. I went to go see one of the opening acts was C.R. Avery and the Boom Chasers. And I don't think a lot of people in the audience knew who he was. But by the end of the set, everybody was into the show. But that's his thing that he can do. And he's played for so many Vancouver audiences that he slowly just kind of whittles them away until the

people who aren't interested have gone outside to smoke and everybody else is dancing and enjoying the show yeah but it takes them about an hour like it's it's not uh hey the show's starting like and i've seen him do it several times but it takes them like almost an entire hour to get the audience to the point where you're the audience i'm the entertainer let's make this a working relationship kind of thing the whole thing up what's the worst what's the worst show that you've seen where the audience was just like a rock show yeah oh i've been to lots of bad ones yeah it is it is particular to to vancouver because i've been to shows in lots of other places where that doesn't happen.

I'm sure it does happen in other places. Sure. It happens a lot more here. Buffalo, New York, for example. Speaking from experience. I think probably the worst was... It's totally a bleed over, too. The Of Montreal show that was a few years ago that the lovely band allowed

Sean Devlin to open for them as a comedian at Richards on Richards. Did you ever see that? No, I heard about it. Yeah, and people were throwing stuff at Sean and I felt really bad for him. But then that feeling of what's going on sort of bled into the show. And Of Montreal are like an amazingly theatrical band.

And it was the same thing gradually over the course of the show. They won people over, but it was like the the same thing gradually over the course of the show they won people over but it was like the singer had to walk on the bar and like spit on people yeah that's that's what crd had to jump into the audience and it's kind of like every other audience in vancouver is like the audience of the blues brothers plays for in that country right Right. With the electrified fence. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. That's like the type of audience if you need like a visual to accompany it. Well, that's sad for a camp.

Yeah, and they should change their name to A Camp, by the way. Yeah, it's very hard to Google. I wonder if they've ever seen Titanic. But they at the very end, like with three songs left, they said, oh, by the way, when the show's over, we'll go back to the merchandise table and we'll sign autographs and we'll meet you. And first of all, I thought, well, no one wants to meet the five other people in the band. It's all cardigans, right? Yeah.

So that's depressing for them. But then we... So the show ended and... Do you think they know? Do you think the rest of the band is just like, hey, this is a regular gig. We'll back up the cardigan singer. She might do a cover of Love Me, Love Me

at the end of the show. That's the name of that song, right? What's the name of that song right uh what is the name of that song love fool okay all right uh but yeah we went at the end of the show but uh i i didn't know we were uh we were gonna wait for the band abby was like well let's check out the merchandise and so we oh there's t-shirts yeah and uh wouldn't it be great if they had like something like barometers or something you didn't expect a band to have in terms of merchandise a uh a limited edition lexus probably a sob um but they uh and then abby was like well uh she didn't say we were waiting for the band.

And I, oh, are we going to wait for the band? And she said, oh, I'd like to. And then I made a face. And so we had to leave. Oh, so you never got to meet? Well, no, I was a bad guy. I didn't feel good about it. She's like, oh, if you don't want to, we can just go.

Oh, so you sullied and already kind of sullied evening. Would you like to take this moment to apologize? I have apologized. I felt bad about it for days. I'm over it. Okay, good. Alright, well this has been informative at the very least. I mean, we covered some ground in that first segment.

Do we want to move ahead into some Overheard? Why not? Overheard! uh do we want to move ahead into some overheard why not overheard all right overheard um our tradition which we broke last week but i'm feeling we could put back together sure where we have the guest uh go first in the overheard department for anybody who's new to the podcast overheards things overheard is the category right and um you want to start sure uh i figured since you know we talked about the two i hadn't overheard but then this one i was reminded when we talked about the the tour uh earlier that i'm doing where i'm dressed as as an indiana jones adventurer. Can't use the name.

No, actually, I'm called Canadiana Joanna. I neglected to mention that. I don't know why I neglected to mention that. Well, no, you saved it for later. Yeah. Just so you know, that means my first name is Canadiana. Yeah. You've had a lot of problems.

From the family Joanna. Yeah. You've got a lot of problems. From the family Joanna. Yeah. Named after the family dog. Huh? A little Indiana Jones trivia for you there? Not bad. Uh-huh. Never cared for it.

Uh-huh. No. Didn't like the Indiana Jones. Too much adventure. Too much. He's more of a, uh, my dinner with Andre. Yeah. Um, I was really excited about the movie The Room, because I assumed it all took place in one room.

Are you British? No, why? British people like movies like that. Yeah. Those Brits. Yeah. We do have a Remains of the Day lunchbox, though. I think you're British.

Yeah, so on the tour i hear interesting things mostly about me and my costume because we go all over the city and and uh people will see us and be like what's going on yeah what's your problem uh and i was in the classical chinese garden uh yeah and uh in my costume and there was a group of kids also coming through there and uh one little boy and his friend they were walking right behind me i could hear them in my costume and there was a group of kids also coming through there and one little boy and his friend they were walking right behind me and I could hear them is that a she

is that Indiana Jones it can't be Indiana Jones why he's old and she's a girl and that was the extent of it and then I turned around and looked at them and they went, ah, and scattered.

Shooting daggers. So cute. Yeah, it was super cute. Dave, do you know what the, the word Yahweh means? I've heard it.

Clarify for our listeners. I think it's another name for god yes okay um but it's usually spelt i believe it's spelled y-a-h-w-e-h yeah well i saw a lincoln navigator which is good start it's like a Cadillac Escalade for people who want to be different. Yeah. And the license plate said Yahweh, but it was spelled Y-A-W-A-A-Y.

Okay. And I just, I thought, I guess that's a great tribute to Yahweh, but... Yahweh would appreciate a good license plate, Maiden. A vanity plate is the ultimate using the Lord's name in vain. Vanity is in the name. Yes. So, but good on ya, Yahweh folks.

Navigators. Did you look inside the car? Whenever I see a vanity plate and I want to associate the person's life with their chosen slogan, I always look inside the car to see if I can find any clues to put it together. No, this was a very... See if you can find a match. Is that it? Something.

This was a tinted window situation. Okay. So it was probably Taylor Hansen. So it was Yahweh himself. Well, it's weird when you see vanity plates on cars that aren't really expensive. Yeah. But I guess it's only like 50 bucks for a vanity plate. I don't understand.

I think that just because they put the word vanity on it, that they elevated the status of it beyond what it actually is. Do you know what I mean? I don't think that having a plate that you designed yourself is as she-she as the name itself would suggest. I've always assumed that it was thousands of dollars. So I guess that's where... But a vanity mirror is like a big to-do to have.

Like if you had a vanity mirror in your house, that's because the one with the lights all around it, right? Yeah. So that's when you see it, you're like, that's fancy. Do you? Yeah. If it's in somebody's house, don't you think?

Like if you're backstage at a theater, it's standard. Okay. It's like seeing a urinal at somebody's house. You're just like, wow, this person has money to spend on vanity. Have you been to someone's house where they've got a weird, just something like extra? Yeah. For example, vanity?

Yeah, no, my friend's dad's place place he had a urinal in his bathroom are you sure it wasn't a bidet yeah no it was he like it was a condo and his dad did he do that gag from kingpin where he sits in it well i think we all took some photos of that. That was his thing. He had a urinal installed Tim the Tool Man Taylor style. Oh, wow. I can't think of anything specific. Oh, I guess I had these people up the street had an elevator in their house. With one of the people in the house handicapped? Yeah.

With one of the people in the house handicapped? Yeah. No, they may not have been, because the guy who built the house ended up on the front page of the newspaper in his robe. I'm putting together a little bit. Yeah, it seems like this is a little scattershot. This may have been a dream. Yeah. Oh, Lordy. You?

Yeah, well, you made me think of, well, as I said, I grew up with professional hunters and mountain men. I was surrounded by things that were crafted from horns and antlers. Oh, yeah, of course. As a child. And I didn't think anything of it. But we used to have a lamp, which for a while lived in the bathroom, that was a mountain sheep's horn, like the curly. That was a mountain sheep's horn, like the curly. So you balked at my idea of having some dead relative's skin stretched to make a lampshade,

but a curly horn lamp base. Right. No problems. I suppose you're related to a ram. Suppose you were. Yeah, I think that just shows the hick that lives inside me. Yeah. It's still present. People skin. Gross. Animal's still present. People skin.

Gross. Animal skin. Yummy. The best. Classy. You know what's always weird? The notion that if you were really rich, the best thing that you could buy was a pool shaped as a dollar sign. That seems to me like the most complicated pool to navigate.

I'm doing a lap of the line through the mill. Everything else would be just superfluous. Do European millionaires have the euro? Yeah. I think the yen pool would be the funnest. Of all the possible denomination pools, I agree. Is it a Y with two lines through? Yeah.

Because then you can have a race where you and your friend start at opposite sides, and whoever reaches the, like you and your Michael Phelps buddy, whoever reaches the end of the Yen first gets a cola. At the end of Solid Gold. Like in the last scene of Slumdog Millionaire where they swim through. I haven't just seen. No, no,aire where they swim through... I haven't seen! No, no, no. They swim through a big... Dollar sign pool?

Rupee sign. Is it a rupee? Yeah, it's a rupee. And they swim through a big rupee pool of shit. Yeah. Same thing. Classic. Graham, do you have any overheards?

I do. I'm afraid I've done it. I think I've done it somewhere else on the podcast, but I'm going to do it again. And if I've done it somewhere else, people could call me on it. Call me an asswipe. It was overheard in a food court. And I believe it was in a food court. And it was a gentleman and a lady were talking, and the lady was asking the gentleman,

what was that show that had Drew Carey and the woman that had all the makeup on? You did this, sorry. I did do this before? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I apologize. And he said the Drew Carey show? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm sorry. Yeah, you suck. I've read this past you twice.

I guess so. You, you're a jerk. When did I do it? Did I do it last week? Last week, yeah. I apologize. You're the worst. Because you were like, you don't have to listen to the podcast from last week.

I can just tell you whether or not you did it. And then you lied to me. Yeah, no, no. I didn't lie. That's two lives you've ruined this week. Well, one was less. Wow. One per week. Unbelievable days one was less. Wow. One per week.

Unbelievable, Dave. 52 lives a year. You had another one. Oh, that was it? I thought you said you were debating between two. Nope. That was the one. What? Dave.

You had another one. No. You said in Max, but I want to do this one. No, I don't think I have another one. No. You said in Max I have two that I'm... But I want to do this one. No, I don't think I have another one. That was it. That's the one. Oh, so I'm the bad guy because you didn't come up with anything new.

I think we can both agree from this side that he is the bad guy. Hey, I don't want to come between you guys. No, that's fine. Please come between us before I punch him. Do we have any listener overheards? I apologize. My computer...

Third life ruined this week. Exploded. So, we won't have any called-in overheards, but please keep calling in your overheards and your contributions to 206-339-8328. Because we'll get to them next week. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're just having a little computer problems right this week.

But, yeah, we have listeners who've written in overheards. So this one, the first one, it was overseen in a coffee shop restroom, and there's a sign. You can see there's a handmade sign that says, Please put the toilet paper back when you are done. Thank you. And somebody with a little pencil has written, just obviously with their non-dominant hand,

an arrow pointing at it saying, Sick. Because put the toilet paper back when you're done. That's not what you're supposed to do with toilet paper. Anybody knows it. All right. So that's one. That was from Katie. It sure is.

Oh, it's a clever one somebody has put up. Because this is a two-pronged graffiti one. Something was posted on a wall that says, buy art, not cocaine. Somebody's put an F in front of the art.

Classic. What, are you going to buy a fart? I don't think so. No, no. It's free. On the left... It's like smiles at McDonald's. The top left-hand corner,

somebody has written, penis 2010, which is a great... I don't know what that is. Does it have anything to do with the Olympics? Well, I don't know. This is a penis that's really going to come into its own in a year. Or that 2010 is the year of the penis.

Oh, is that? Under the Chinese zodiac. Dragon, tiger, penis. We asked specifically for graffiti over scenes, and so we're getting a lot of them. One of them we got is from Abby's Aunt Sheila, and it's a picture. She took a picture of someone had written on the poster for the movie Year One, starring Jack Black and Michael Cera, a thought bubble coming out of Michael Cera that says, I miss Arrested Development. And he's got tears coming out of his eyes.

Oh, did he? Yeah, yeah, he's crying. And then somebody else sent a poster, a picture of a poster from France, where the movie, The Hangover, is called The Very Bad Trip. But in English, it's called that. It's not, if you translate it from French, that it's The Very Bad Trip. But in English, it's called that. It's not if you translate it from French that it's The Very Bad Trip. It's written in English. It's called The Very Bad Trip.

Weird. Yeah, that's strange. This is another one. This is a picture, kind of like an 80s-style drawing. And there's these stickers that people put up that, you know, out of the picture of, like of the spokesmodel or whatever in the advertisements, like a speech bubble that says, I'd rather be boycotting Esso.

And I saw those around for years. This one was originally said, I'd rather be boycotting Esso, but somebody has written over the Esso, penis. So could be the same, could be the work of penis 2010. What's your tag? So yeah, penis 2010 what's your tag um so yeah penis 2010 good stuff um sorry i'm sifting through this uh kind of in the uh that's cool we don't need to get to all of them oh it was this picture uh it's a picture from a department store in Vienna. Austria? Yes. It's kind of like a modern-looking

apartment, and somebody's drawn in a little stick man sitting on the couch with a bong. It's empty, but they've really humanized it there. They made it so that you can picture yourself performing some kind of activity. So we'll

post all these on the blog. It's stoppodcastingyourself.blogspot.com and you'll see our words come to life. Exactly. The theater of the mind becomes the theater of the eyes. Of your face. Do you want to move on to some neighborhood nickname jerks? Yes, absolutely.

Who's that guy carrying the flag every day what do you call him blank pete black frank you don't know his name so you made up a name. Yeah. So the neighborhood nickname, Segi, it's about us. It's about where you live and the people who dwell within the neighborhood. And the nicknames you give them that they don't know about. Uh-huh. Yeah. Perhaps you have one. What general area of Vancouver do you call home? Actually, this area.

I live about six blocks from here. Oh, dynamite. Yeah. We party a lot. Yeah, you know. We see each other. We wave. I have a gentleman who actually lives next door to me in the basement suite, I believe,

of the lovely retiree gentleman that lives in the house above. And I think this guy has just moved in. And my reason for thinking that is previously I did not hear loud conversations about how good he is at construction in the middle of the day. He built the shit out of that door. Playing the song

Fire by Metallica. Fuel? Fire? Give me fuel, give me fire. Give me chamachamachire. Yeah, exactly. Chamachamachire. He sings that in the middle of the day

and then I'll look out the window and he's standing there shirtless in the backyard talking on the telephone to presumably

a potential future employer about how amazing he is at construction how if you just let give him a chance

he will wow you with his construction skills. And then other conversations about, yeah, I totally meant to be there, but fuck. Like stuff like that all day long, which is really, you know, brightens my day. And do you have a nickname for him? There's been a few that have circulated in my mind as the conversations change.

But you never really talk to people about them. No, I don't. My first thought was Jesus, based on him wanting to show his carpentry skills from Jesus. Right. And then the Latinate version of Jesus. And by Latin, I mean Latino. Yeah. I also called him Lars Ulrich for a little while.

Okay. Not a bad, yeah, because, I mean, if he's I also called him Lars Ulrich for a little while. Okay. Not a bad, yeah, because, I mean, if he's listening to that Fuel Fire song. A lot. A lot. It's a really strong drumline in that. Yeah. Dave, you said you had a new one. Oh, yeah.

From your own life. From my own life. I remembered this. A few years ago, I used to work at a production company, and all the computers were used for editing, and there was only one computer that was used to go on the Internet. And so everyone shared that computer, except one guy had his own laptop. And when someone else was using that computer, I ended up on his computer. And you know how they have the, I guess it's called autocomplete? Yeah.

And it's the list, like if you go on Google, you'll see the list of everything they've searched for. And if you type in the first letter, all the things they've searched for with that letter came up. And I typed the letter B. And the only thing that came up was bumps on penis. You think you would have gone to the trouble of typing in bamps on penis just to distract you. So Google would say, did you mean bumps?

And we started calling him bumps and I'm sure he doesn't know about it. Maybe that guy's penis 2010. Bumps, and I'm sure he doesn't know about it. Maybe that guy's Penis 2010. Bumps on Penis 2010. Is that a potential? I'm wondering if this one neighborhood name that somebody sent in, I feel like we've already read it on the show, a guy named Kyle. Kyle B. said there's a...

The nickname is Gene Gene the Sweater Machine. Does that ring a bell? I don't know. It's been so long. It has been a long time. I'll read it out anyways. I have a nickname for you. I went to high school with a tall, lanky, redhead fellow who was rather soft-spoken and he had a pretty unique style of dressing.

He left sweater vests and wore them almost every day until i think it was junior year when he switched over to regular crew neck sleeved sweaters after about a month of wearing the sleeve sweater he decided to go back to sweater vests but he didn't take off the other sweater he would layer a sweater vest over a long sleeve sweater sove sweater. So then his nickname became Gene Gene the Sweater Sweater Machine. Two sweaters? Yeah, two sweaters. I had recently heard that Gene had become born-again Christian and was now a somewhat popular hip-hop artist in the Rhode Island area.

I almost wish I was making that last part up. So that's a real thing. Gene Gene the Sweater Sweater Machine. If you're a hip-hop artist in the Rhode Island area, I don't think it's ever possible to be more than somewhat popular. Can I have a look? Yeah, absolutely. No.

Because I wrote a couple down. Do you have one of your own? Did you say that? Yeah, well... Is it Drew Carey show related? Yeah, it's just two this couple no there's a there's a uh gentleman uh that i see a lot um in different locations but he's always sitting down and he's always sitting with uh like he has an oxygen tank oh i've seen that guy do you know

who i'm talking about yeah yeah yeah and he's always sitting with it's not always the same dude that he's sitting with but whoever it is i always call him uh from uh the jeffersons george and wheezy so whoever the guy is becomes george and he's wheezy what if he's with a woman still george yeah i guess well i guess it would be wheezy and wheezy in that case because they were wheezy with the female and he's still Wheezy. Do you get what I'm saying? Was Wheezy spelled O-U-I-S-I? No. Wheezy. Because she was Wheezy.

But it was short for Louise. Yeah, it was short for Louise. Yeah, but you wouldn't spell it Wheezy. Wouldn't you spell it? It's Wheezy. W-H-E-E-Z-Y. Why? Prove me wrong, listeners. Prove me wrong. Stop podcasting yourself at gmail.com.

Okay. Dalvin D. from Alberta. Yeah, that's a common name in Alberta, by the way. Dalvin? Yeah. Is it apostrophe, like Darcy? No. Darcy. Darcy. It No. Da-arcy.

It's French for of arcy. There's this guy in our neighborhood who runs probably four days a week. He's actually a nice guy. We've spoken to him on a couple of occasions. But he's the prototypical white guy immersed in hip-hop culture. He's a less cartoonish version of J-Rock from the Trailer Park Boys

and Jamie Kennedy in Malibu's Most Wanted. Anyway, he jogs in these all-matching tracksuits, and I swear I haven't seen him wear the same one twice. Thus we call him Snoop Joggy Jog. Snoop Joggy Jog! Awesome. Oh, yeah. I forgot all about thatog. Snoop Joggy Jog. Awesome. Oh, yeah. I forgot all about that one.

I read that one out at work. It got a prurious round of laughter. Snoop Joggy Jog. Key-lastic. Okay, and Amanda M. from, I want to say, Canada? Yeah, Canada Heights. She wrote a list of nicknames from her friend Max and her for other regulars who used to work out at the weight room at the University of Toronto. room at the University of Toronto.

And there's a few in here, but my favorite was this guy who had a tattoo of a kangaroo on one arm and the continent of Australia on the other. And they call him the man of indeterminate

origin. Nice. He's from Parts Unknown. When you were talking about the gym, last weekend I watched a preamble to the UFC. There was a big UFC event last Saturday. Oh, a big preamble. So I watched the hour preamble to it.

Jeez. Yeah. I find I often enjoy the preamble more than the actual event. Do you watch the event? No, I was busy. I was doing a thing. You couldn't have been that busy if you were watching an hour of preamble. No, the preamble was during the day, and the UFC fight was at night, and I was at that charity show.

Why don't they do morning UFC fights? I don't know. Right to your congressman. Listeners in the States. But they showed the guys working out for the match and there was a guy lifting like boat chains

and stuff and like hitting a tire with a hammer. Did we go all the way back around? We're using only kettle weights and medicine balls and such? Isn't that, what is it? There's a name for that type of exercise. Old-timey exercise?

Yeah, that's what it is. Ye olde exercising? Ye olde exercising. Mustache and singlet workout? Do you guys ever feel when you're watching UIC that it's like when... UFC. UFC, pardon me. You are talking about the Ultimate Intelligence Championship yes it's a different thing of which i am the blue paps blue ribbon

winner the last few uh years two years running yeah uh do you ever feel watching that that it's like do either of you have siblings uh yes two brothers yeah a brother and two sisters okay brothers good uh did you ever have those like-out, total temper tantrum fights, like physical fights with your siblings? Oh, yeah. Don't UFC fights just look like that? That's really, when I watch it, that's what it reminded me of. Like where your leg is pressed up against your ear

and your brother's just punching you inside of the head. You're not doing any real damage because you're in such close quarters. Yeah. And you've got whatever hand is free, you're just punching whatever piece of flesh that happens to be. Or if you do do real damage, it's in a place that should not have been injured.

Like I broke my baby toe on my sister's head once when we were younger because we were jumping on a bed and then it turned into a competition and then it turned ferocious. And I tried to roundhouse kick her, because I was really into Bruce Lee at the time. And I just broke my toe on her head. It seems like a lot of those fights... Wait, your baby toe?

So you tried to reverse roundhouse kick her? No, I tried to roundhouse, but because we were jumping on a bed, I did like a twist and just bashed her. And she's five years younger than me, so it was like beating up a four-year-old kid. Remember how big a queen-size bed used to seem? Yeah, like an ocean of promises. Yeah, that's a good way to put it. Just waiting to happen. Why don't they advertise queen-size beds that way?

I don't know. An ocean of promises. Especially hotel ones for some reason. It's like the unknown. Oh, yeah. You don't know where the-size beds that way? An ocean of promises. Especially hotel ones for some reason. It's like the unknown. You don't know where the springs are, the bumpy parts. But you're jumping on it immediately. Immediately. You're unmaking that.

The fights with the siblings. I remember one of the themes after the typewriter, where your sibling just taps on your chest forever. Whoa. Oh, yeah. That was... Was them holding you down and seeing if they could spit on you and then sucking it back in the mouth. Yeah.

It was a classic. Or farting with their bare butt in your face. Never did that. My thing was seeing how far I could push a sibling's leg towards their head before noises start to emanate from the joints and whatnot. We used to do this thing if someone was lying down

on their back with their legs bent, like you're lying on your back your knees are up. Like airplane? No, someone grabs your knees and pulls them apart. And goes, Oopain! Oopain!

Yeah, that is Oopain. It's an appropriate phrase for that. Speaking of UFC, I just remembered we had one other overheard. So if you want to replay the theme song, we may not have. Overheard. See?

I can do it on the fly. Xav writes in. X-A-V. Save? Xav. Save. Xavier. Short for Xavier. Starting his own mutant school this fall.

After a stop at my local Timmy Ho's I decided to pull over and have a cigarette After getting out of my car And lighting up a smoke I saw this very thuggish looking kid Walking towards me Of course, since he didn't look of age I thought he was creeping my way

To ask to bum a cigarette To my surprise, he passed me Swaying in his stride like his underwear is stuck in his ass. And I spotted the back of his sweater. The back of his dark purple hoodie revealed a cross wrapped in barbed wire with the words, Jesus never tapped out across the top. Because his hands were nailed to the cross. Yeah, but he could have used his fingers.

Because his hands were nailed to the cross. Yeah, but he could have used his fingers. I apologize to everyone for that. Also, I don't think tapping out would have gotten him off the hook. No. No, that wasn't the rule back then. Say Uncle Jesus. Say Uncle Jesus.

So I think we ran a gamut here today oh yeah if anybody does want to write in to the podcast and we always do appreciate even if it's just to say that you like the show or have an idea or whatever stop podcasting yourself at gmail.com and as Dave mentioned before we have a phone number 206

339-8328 and because of computer problems we weren't able to play a lot of the calls And as Dave mentioned before, we have a phone number 206-339-8328. And because of computer problems, we weren't able to play a lot of the calls from the past week and a half or so. But next week, everything will be up and running. It will be fantastic. We'll probably have a show where half of the show is going to be dedicated to hilarious call-ins, et cetera. And we also – we're doing another live show. Oh, that's right. Yes, please.

It will be this or July. It will be in July on the 28th of July in Vancouver at the Biltmore Cabaret. It's a Tuesday. It'll be $5 and I guess you must be 19. And yeah, it'll be super fun again.

Please come by. But it's going to be great. And also in July, on the 18th, apparently, that's a Saturday, there's going to be another Laugh Gallery show. At the same place that there was last time. Nothing's been cemented, but I heard the other day that we have the location same locations before the cambrian hall right but if you're gonna come to one come to the live come to both yeah come to both but how how little are you making now you got to get a better job ask your boss for a raise also yeah if you have to work saturdays and tuesdays that's probably not a

yeah what are you marking papers what are you, marking papers? What are you, Marky Post? Yeah, exactly. Jeez. Caitlin. Yeah. People want to learn more about you and your goings-on. Yeah, where should they go? They can go to ponyhunters.ca,

which will be information about Nicole and my shows and thoughts and videos and things. And they could go to rosaparksimprov.com to see when we're playing next. And they can also, you know, my name is on the Facebook and other places if you want to be my friend. Do you have an upcoming gig in the near future that you want to...

I know the Oleo Festival. The Oleo Festival, yeah. There's things being planned and hatched. Things banding about. Yes. And they can Google you and read your writings. It's true, yeah. There's a lot of stuff online if you're interested in that. But like I say, I like friends.

I'm not shy. Come talk to me at shows or Facebook. A very friendly individual indeed, wouldn't you say? Indeed. Not shy. No, thank you very much for coming. She showed us all her tattoos during the break. It was like a Barnum and Bailey situation. much for coming. She showed us all her tattoos during the break. It's true.

It was like a Barnum and Bailey situation. Thank you very much for being a guest. It was very kind of you to come down. I know it didn't necessarily fit with your Saturday schedule, but thank you for squeezing us in. Hey, anytime, guys.

I like you. Dave, you've gotten. We right. Next Saturday, we'll see you here. I like you. And Dave, you've got... We've plugged. We've plugged. And so if you like the show, please tell your friends, because that's how we help the show grow and prosper. And we'll be back here next week with another fantastic number 69. Oh, filthy episode.

Why? Why? Because if you add them together, it's a mathematical thing, but it spells boobless when you do all the math. But please join us here next week for another thrilling edition of Stop Podcasting Yourself. Thank you.