Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 693 - Sean Devlin

Episode Date: June 29, 2021

Comedian Sean Devlin returns to talk clown school, crowd surfing, and dumpster drama. Also, buy Sean’s new album, Airports, Animals....

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello and welcome to episode number 693 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is the man who won Father of the Year at this year's Father Day, Mr. Dave Shumka. You call Father's Day Father Day? Father Day, yeah. I don't want to include all the fathers. Just one father. I recognize you're the only father that I recognize.
Starting point is 00:00:43 No, as I mentioned last time on the show, I'm not. I don't want any of these awards. I don't want to be the world's greatest dad. I'm in it for love of the game. Love of the game, that's right. I mean, it's so political, the way they vote on these things. And you've turned down the money that usually comes with father championship. Yeah, well, they do it like the nobel prize where they give you a million
Starting point is 00:01:07 dollars but it's like expected that you'll donate it like a raffle or something like that is that how the nobel prize works i don't think so i think people take the money and skedaddle or do they if they're like a scientist they put it toward their research but if they're like bob dylan he puts it towards his research yeah he's trying to solve mumble mouth we are working on a cure um our guest today a very funny comedian has his first album out on uh arts and crafts records uh it is called airports animals or animals airport mr sean devlin hello i said it both ways to cover my bases thank you what is the real name on zoom is is graham but there's no there's no last name what's your last name i switch i'm like share i
Starting point is 00:02:02 just go with one name now um share or prince we just had to cut out a minute of the show where sean doxxed graham by giving it giving an email address out yeah um but uh hello sean welcome to the show hello dave at lycos.ca graham this guy Graham this guy's this guy's ruining it yeah you know what he's uh I forgot that he's
Starting point is 00:02:29 the queen of me and we forgot yeah he's a do you oh yeah who was Lycos I haven't heard that name
Starting point is 00:02:36 was that Canadian I don't know I know canoe.ca we might get sued what was Lycos was it a website or was it just an email I don't I don't remember but we remember it
Starting point is 00:02:48 in our hearts we remember lycos here's what you happens if you go to lycos.ca right now lycos.com now it's the same thing it tells me the temperature in vancouver nice 22 degrees too hot sweltering yeah and then And then you can get a tripod website or some Lycos swag. That's pretty good. That's better than most websites have. Yeah. A lot of websites. Have you guys seen the Jake Gyllenhaal movie where he's stuck on a train in a time loop?
Starting point is 00:03:20 No. Yes. I forgot what it's called. Time code. Or no, source code yeah source code okay is this like the he's stuck on a train that keeps crashing it's like groundhog day but a horrific tragedy yeah and the funniest part of it is there's a movie in the film it's a comedy for one scene where they clearly got a product placement from bing.com
Starting point is 00:03:45 and to like solve this mystery. Cause he's trying to make the train not crash. At one point he goes on his phone to Google something, but instead of Googling it, like everyone would, he uses bing.com and there's a, there's a closeup on his phone of bing. But then every time he keeps getting stuck
Starting point is 00:04:06 he keeps going back to Bing.com it really kind of ruins the movie is he looking up Google on Bing? is he trying to figure out where to get to that Google? .ca or.com do we want to get to know us? yeah get to know us
Starting point is 00:04:23 I love the idea because Bing went completely out of business right no bing is bing's rocking it i just got vaccinated so i love all microsoft products oh is bing microsoft oh yeah big time big time bing bing time baby yeah i um uh anyways we're not here to talk about big we'll talk we'll get into bing chat later on in the episode because that's people love that segment um but sean tell us tell us all the things how are you doing well you were last on the show how long ago a million years i i looked it up and i don't mean to spook you and make it seem all heebie-jeebie yeah but the one and only time i was on the show was seven years ago and the episode was released on june 23rd the day we're recording this but
Starting point is 00:05:16 almost but tomorrow yeah almost to the day but you're that's um that is spooky and you agree with you that you said that when you asked to come back on the show you said i'll be more entertaining than last time i don't remember you uh especially not entertaining last time i don't remember but that's what i i thought that's what you recall do you two i think you're two in your head about it man just yeah you just gotta let it flow yeah yeah you're okay okay poop poop poop and pee yeah there you go you're let it flow. Okay, okay. Poop. Poop and pee. Yeah, there you go. You're doing it.
Starting point is 00:05:47 You're doing it. Sean, all sorts, obviously all sorts of things have happened in seven years, but you need only go back a year if you want. I mean, you can fill us in on the seven years if that's what you like. But tell us about you. Tell us what's going on with you. I have this comedy album coming out, which I'm very excited about. When did you tape it?
Starting point is 00:06:13 I actually taped it almost two years ago. Okay. So it's not, it was one of these specialty quarantine efforts. This is something from before COVID. No, it was, yeah, it was pre-covid but i recorded it and then i i worked on the movie borat too oh yeah that's right and i and then i didn't work on finishing the the recording and then so did you leave your set in the middle you didn't finish the recording you did like 40 minutes of jokes and then walked out
Starting point is 00:06:46 and said i'll be back in a year yeah yeah the last 20 minutes is recorded two years later nice on zoom um i so okay tell me about borat what did you i knew you worked on borat 2. What does that mean? Yeah. Tell us. Yeah. Because I saw your name in the credits. I got very excited. I can't.
Starting point is 00:07:12 There's many things. Like, most of it I can't say. Okay. You have some disclosure agreement? Yeah. Some disclosure. You can disclose some things. Yeah. Some things and not others.
Starting point is 00:07:22 I was a consulting producer. So, I consulted on the production. So that's what that means. Okay. You're allowed to say that? I'm allowed to say that. Yeah, it's like saying what a gaffer is or the best boy. Were you on set?
Starting point is 00:07:39 I was on set sometimes. And I really am a big fan of that man.at sascha and cohen borat and uh so i learned a lot from the process something that i can say kind of unrelated to the film is that eight years ago i studied under the same french clown teacher that he did oh what this all needs to be okay look we gotta unpackage all of this when did you go to clown school um let's start there and then we'll build so in 2012 i went to clown school for three weeks it's called an intensive right with uh philippe gaulier which he's a he's a clown teacher from france okay and he's considered maybe the best in the world who are the top 10 top 10 clown clown teachers bozo's father yeah bozo's. That's right. That teacher at your high school that wore funny ties.
Starting point is 00:08:45 Yeah. Ray Kroc. Ray Kroc. That's right. So how many other kids were in the class? It was me and like maybe 16 other people. Holy shit. And it was.
Starting point is 00:09:04 Did you have to audition? I didn't have to audition but it was the one maybe the one thing i've ever done that i genuinely wanted to quit because i hate it so much what was the very first indication that you were like oh shit well so what he does this teacher philippe goliat and i think he's a he's a genius now but it's very painful is he sits he he judges you so he's okay he just basically asks you to improvise and and then well no sorry, let me back up. The class starts with skipping rope. Okay. Okay.
Starting point is 00:09:47 Are you any good at that? No, I'm terrible. I'm terrible at it, too. Yeah, I'm right in the middle. I mean, maybe I was good as a kid, but now I would suck. What about with the two ropes? Oh, double dutch? Yeah, can you double dutch? I forget all the rhymes.
Starting point is 00:10:01 You need to know the rhymes. Stella, hello, that's a hand clapping one. Yeah. Um, so he, he judges you. Yeah. So he sits in front of the class with a drum and he asks you to improvise.
Starting point is 00:10:14 And then as soon as he thinks that you're not funny or you're messing up, he bangs his drum and then he just insults you and makes fun of you. And he's so, is this, sorry, is this in france this was in toronto oh okay it was this in english yeah but he talks with a with a funny french accent sure that's fine they all do and and he's just so funny and he just berates you in front of the rest of the class and And most of the people were like actors, not comedians. Right.
Starting point is 00:10:49 Would you say you were the only comedian in the group? I was the only stand-up. Okay. Yeah. And as you mentioned earlier, I really get in my head. Terrible at improv. Okay. So he really, as they they say tore me a nouveau one
Starting point is 00:11:09 he yeah he just makes funny but then i realized after the fact that basically what he does is he gives you an experience that will literally be the worst thing that has ever happened to you on stage. Right. And then after that, being on stage never seems as scary again. Ah, yeah. It's like a person who starts the day with a cold shower because then the worst part of your day is already over. Yeah. Philosophy.
Starting point is 00:11:43 Or I eat bugs, you know, that kind of thing. You eat bugs for breakfast? I eat bugs for money. I eat bugs for money and for breakfast. Separately. But I guess that's why I eat bugs for breakfast. But then I go to my job where I eat bugs for money. So I guess my day really doesn't get any better.
Starting point is 00:12:01 But you never would have got that job if you hadn't been so committed starting every day by eating bugs. That's right. At the amateur level. It does not pay well. No, but you knew that getting into the bug eating game. Yeah. Graham, would you eat bugs?
Starting point is 00:12:16 Would I eat bugs? Yeah. No, I wouldn't eat bugs. I'm not interested in this cricket protein that some people eat. Cricket flour? Cricket flour, no thanks. Whatever little worm things that Joe Rogan
Starting point is 00:12:28 makes you eat. I don't want anything like that. No, I wouldn't eat bugs. You? Oh yeah, you eat bugs for money. I eat bugs for money, yeah. I eat bugs for breakfast and for money and then I go home. I haven't done it, but I read it in a newspaper once that everyone
Starting point is 00:12:43 eats four spiders a year in their sleep. Yeah. I try to get it out of the way on New Year's Day. I just shovel four spiders in my mouth. I used to do a bit about that, about how maybe there's one guy bringing up the average. Yeah, there's one guy. Yeah, there's one guy eating four spiders have four spiders every five minutes in his sleep he lives like under a spider pipe a dripping a leaking spider pipe that the pipe that's in
Starting point is 00:13:15 the charlotte's that that poem yeah the itsy bitsy spider one of the that's the guy from that did the french teacher teach you that yeah as a spider went up the water spout something down it came into gregory's mouth that's his name right greg yeah he's of course his name is gregory and so you have you kept in touch with your, uh, clown college folks? No, I don't. Alumni? The people I follow, I do follow them. One of them has been very successful.
Starting point is 00:13:52 Um. Is Borat? No, the, uh, this guy was in my class, Ken Hall, who plays the, the monkey creature in Umbrella Academy. Oh. Oh, wow. So is he like in a motion capture suit or is he in a? No, he's a tiny sucking monkey.
Starting point is 00:14:13 Well, that's why he did so well. No, no, no. He plays it in a motion capture suit. And I think they're in their fourth season. Wow. Very successful. Yeah, let's hear it for all the folks on Umbrella Academy. Did Sacha Baron Cohen say that he enjoyed this time with the clown teacher?
Starting point is 00:14:35 Or did you not talk to him about it? Yeah, did you bond over that? I never brought that up. But I took the class because of the testimonial of his that was on the the ad to take the class where did you find see an ad um i actually was emailed it was emailed to me by um mark little's sister brett little ah who is herself an experienced clown and took this course for two years in France at his actual clown.
Starting point is 00:15:08 Two years. Two years. And you hated three weeks. Yeah. Yeah. I have no, I know what circus clowns are. I know what like artsy clowns are,
Starting point is 00:15:21 but I don't, yeah, I don't understand how you can use clown to not be just a clown so it's so it it it it made sense to me at a certain point i asked the the teacher mr gully i asked him directly i said what's the difference between a clown and a comedian and he said a comedian is someone who goes on stage and says things that they think are funny and the audience laughs. Right. And a clown is someone who goes on stage and says or does things that they think are funny and the audience doesn't laugh.
Starting point is 00:16:00 And the way that the clown reacts makes the audience laugh. Like the old Johnny Carson. He would bomb a joke. Yeah. Yeah, that's clowning. Classic clown, Johnny Carson. So you're not allowed to talk about any of the Borat stuff, but where did you have to go?
Starting point is 00:16:25 Cause it was shot all over the place. Just name a continent. Was in, in, in several different States, usually around, you know, terrible people like racists.
Starting point is 00:16:39 Yeah. Yeah. And trying to act like I was one of them. Right. Okay. So you were copying their style. Yeah. Like at one point bought a suit that looked like the kind of suit that a racist would wear.
Starting point is 00:16:59 What kind of suits do we wear? I mean, do they wear? It had a red tie. Okay. That's the extent of the disguise. It had a red tie. Sure. Red tie for his red neck. I assume he's a red neck.
Starting point is 00:17:15 Well, how do I know if I'm a red neck? Is there like a criteria? You might find out. You need two mirrors. Yeah. If you have two mirrors and one of them, you can see your neck through one of them, you might be a redneck. And it's red. Did you get in on all this action?
Starting point is 00:17:38 I know there were people that you'd worked with before, a duo called the Yes Men. The Yes Men. Yeah. Yes. So I worked closely with one of those gentlemen named Igor on that film. And I worked with them for about 12 years. So that was really the work that got me that opportunity. And that work I can talk about quite frequently.
Starting point is 00:18:03 Nah. Tell us who the yes men are. Who are the yes men? What do they do? There are two guys who about 20 years ago, they, well, actually, the origin of it is kind of funny. They started by just making fake websites to make fun of corporations. fun of corporations and then at one point someone at a like big like corporate conference emailed their fake website because they thought it was the real website for like coca-cola or something right and they were like hey we want you to give this keynote speech at this fancy
Starting point is 00:18:38 conference in whatever country right and then they thought about and they're like well they're inviting us this is their mistake and then they went thought about it and they're like, well, they're inviting us. This is their mistake. And then they went and did it and realized that you could just do that. And so that was like 20 years ago. And they've made three feature films, just documenting these, these escapades where they pretend to be corporations or governments and, and,
Starting point is 00:19:02 and go into different spaces and do silly things and you've you've have you done some of the silliness um i have a consulting producer what's the silliest thing you've ever done sean yeah silliest thing i've ever done was oh i was just talking to someone about this recently i was i i bought um a paper minion are you familiar with the cartoons the minions i love them yeah the chris miller dandry creations i love the minions yeah minions rule they're hilarious um my wife and i were in were on a on a vacation and we were in a beautiful church and it was such a beautiful church that we were in tears when we walked out of it and directly outside the church there was a man selling paper
Starting point is 00:19:52 minions and the special thing about these minions was they were like they were like you know three inches tall and they had little three inches tall. And they had little... Three inches tall? Yeah, like a Christmas decoration. How would you even see a three-inch Minion across the street? No, he was... Through your teary eyes. Well, he got our attention. He was like, hey, hey.
Starting point is 00:20:20 You want to see a Minion? Don't cry over there. Banana. He was like, banana. Banana. Banana. No, so he he he got our attention then he pulled out this paper minion that had little string strings hanging from the bottom of it and then paper feet and he stood it on the on the sidewalk and he had a boom
Starting point is 00:20:42 box and he started playing music and this paper minion just started magically dancing to the music rules and we lost our minds we were like giggling hysterically we felt so much joy we honestly felt like children and we were like this is incredible. How is this happening? And he said, oh, well, there's like these circuits and wires in it. It's not sorcery. Okay. Okay. I guess this is a tech startup. This is a tech startup.
Starting point is 00:21:22 I'm looking for angel investors. Yeah. On the steps of this church and so it started dancing and then we were like oh that's interesting so how much is it this is so cool and beautiful and he was like oh this is cost twenty dollars well that seems like too much for what is clearly an illegally printed out copy of a minion. So we got skeptical. And then right when we got skeptical, this other man like barged over, like really worried and was like, hey, turn off the music, turn off the music. And then they got really scared and they turn off the music and they gathered all the little minions and and they're like oh the police
Starting point is 00:22:09 the police are coming the minion cops yeah the minion cops the minion squad oh wait i need to break here i've seen the minions this is how much i love the minions i've gone to a minions screening with my wife at a cinema on at 11 a.m at a screening that's just for moms and their children oh yeah and my favorite part in it was i think this was like one of the more recent ones there's like a police chase through the streets of of london where the cops the the billies or no are they called yeah yeah the billies are chasing the bobbies the bobbies billy bobby the clubs are the billies well that's confusing that is confusing yeah so so the bobbies are chasing the minions to the streets in this in the cars and uh this during this chase scene the uh this kid just screams out in the middle of the movie theater.
Starting point is 00:23:09 Why are the cops chasing them? They're just being silly. So your honor, I was just being silly. Yeah. Can we wrap this up? So this guy selling the little minions, he's like. Okay, good. We're going to get closure on this.
Starting point is 00:23:29 Yes, yes. He packs them up and they're like, oh, the cops are here, the cops. And then I didn't realize this at the time, but this was all an elaborate grift that I was in the midst of. that i was in the midst of and so when they said the cops were there and they packed everything up my wife and i got so scared that we would never get a chance to buy these paper minions for 20 dollars a piece i'll sell you all of them for 200 so so we started to think of people we would like to give them to. And then we asked him after he came back and he's like, okay, okay, the police are gone. And we were like, we want to buy three. And we bought three of them.
Starting point is 00:24:17 They're $30 now, by the way. Yeah, the price has gone up. For $60? For $60. up um for 60 bucks for 60 dollars and then we like the next day we were like hey let's they so they came in a plastic package and we opened it up and i kind of knew the next day when i woke up i was like oh no we got we got tricked We got tricked out of $60. It's such an unlikely grift that it would ever work. And when you open it up, it's exactly what it looks like.
Starting point is 00:24:55 It's just a paper minion with string feet and paper, or string legs and paper feet. And then there's a tiny little brochure with instructions in it which is kind of the big fu that that just explains how he tricked you which he says oh it says if you want to make your your toy dance all you need to do is get some fishing line and attach it from your elbow and dangle it down to the ground and hold the like hold the minion on the ground like a little puppet so that's what he was doing he just had his arms at his side and then he would hit the boom box and he would just kind of move his elbow and make it dance but i think it's kind of brilliant because they're clearly targeting
Starting point is 00:25:45 people who are vulnerable after seeing this gorgeous church yeah also the church is probably like uh we let the people sell crosses out here but this is a bridge too far these minions but also like you can you can go back the next day and be like, hey, can I get money? I didn't open two of these. Can I get my money back? And then his friend comes over, the police, the police. You can go back, but honestly, we felt so stupid. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:19 That we didn't feel like we, we just kind of respected his, his, his game, so to speak. Graham, do you remember in when you and I went to New York and there it's New York is just like when, where you go to the tourist areas, it's just people trying to get your money one way or the other. Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah exactly whether they're a pikachu or um selling something but we we walked out of the m&m store and it was just like literally one step out of the m&m store these dudes were just like hey we're collecting money for blah blah something and graham and i were like well certainly uh well i don't want to you, we're so fortunate to be here. To be, yeah, having been in the M&M's store really opened up. We were crying in there. It was a religious experience for me.
Starting point is 00:27:12 We're collecting money for children who have never tasted candy. Yeah. Oh, well, by all means. Yeah, that sounds like a worthwhile. Is this enough? I don't know. I don't want to be rude. Yeah. Where was this this where was this holiday this was in in barcelona okay which is which was the uh i forget the name of the church but it's this is a big one yeah it's
Starting point is 00:27:42 the big famous one the temple sagrada familia yeah wow good that's amazing dave yeah it's that place oh yeah i know my gaudy gaudy yeah that's the place where you go if you want to buy paper minions and it won't be they're still building it it won't be finished for a hundred more years the minions are done though they're fully the minions are done yeah you can have them yeah ready to go i love that he said like like wires and electronics like that he had no idea oh boy that's a good uh silliest thing you've ever done and did you ever do that did you ever attach the fishing line to your elbow and do it? Oh, I didn't, but I feel like maybe I should now.
Starting point is 00:28:29 Yeah. Did you ever give these to, who are the two friends you thought would want these? Who are your Top Minion fans? Here's the thing. When we made the list of people we would gift this to, we thought we were buying them the most magical toy in the world. Yeah. But actually it was just a piece of paper. So when we offered
Starting point is 00:28:48 it to them, they were like, why would I want this? Were these adults you were going to give them to? Yes. And one of them was a Simpsons. We asked for... They also sold Simpsons versions. Same circuitry different different sure
Starting point is 00:29:07 different external appearance they reskin them yeah yeah reskin them um the now something about you that uh the listeners may not know you're you're an activist as well as a comedian and you've been you've done activism where you've actually gotten arrested i think we talked about this last time i remember because i remember this is all i wanted to talk about last time that's true but you've been arrested since then right or am i wrong what's your when was your last arrest uh i don't remember but i've been arrested maybe seven or eight times for these sort of things. Like, do they just take you and then they go, get out of here, you rascal?
Starting point is 00:29:49 Or do they actually hold you in a cell or something? Sometimes they put you in a cell. So I've been in a cell in Vancouver and in New York City. Oh, the big city. Oh, Switzerland. Switzerland was the nicest cell. Oh, the big city. Oh, Switzerland. Switzerland was the nicest cell. Yeah, I'm sure. What amenities did they have in the Swiss cell?
Starting point is 00:30:11 It was just cleaner. Yeah. Yeah, well, I didn't know it was all over the world. I thought it was just here, right here in Vancouver. But you've internationally pissed people off. Yeah, I guess that's what I guess. Yeah, it's I mean, it's usually for something that it really seems like you shouldn't be arrested for. Oh, yeah, of course.
Starting point is 00:30:34 It doesn't feel, you know, like especially criminal or something. Yeah, you're not storming the Capitol. You're trying to make effective change in the world yeah and um um i think maybe maybe the funniest thing that happened one time was the one the one where i was in the cell in vancouver i hid my cell phone just in the back pocket of my pants yeah and they didn't look look yeah and then and then i just had my phone in the cell which i it's not really a thing that's supposed to happen and then because of the thing we did these i started doing interviews about it in the jail cell and then the
Starting point is 00:31:20 and then the police came in at some point and they were like, what are you doing? Give us that. And then the person who was writing about that included that in the article that the cops had come in. Kind of like a Keystone Cops sort of moment, but with dialogue. And less like frenetic piano music. Yeah, he did bump his head on the door at one point. frenetic piano music. Yeah, he did bump his head on the door at one point, but...
Starting point is 00:31:47 I love that. And this album. Yeah, tell us about this album. So this is the first ever album, a comedy album, that you've done. First ever album I've done. First ever comedy album that Arts and crafts has done arts and
Starting point is 00:32:07 crafts the you the list of artists you're you're talking feist you're talking stars you're talking broken social scene you're talking sean devlin yeah exactly a name amongst luminaries should have changed my name to uh something cooler johnny showbiz something like that shawnee showbiz shawnee showbiz there we go it's not too late uh yeah no there's some really amazing musicians on it um i mean to be honest, I feel like I'm going to get very sincere here. There we go. It never would have happened without Mr. Graham Clark. Because I mixed it. Graham wrote the jokes.
Starting point is 00:33:01 Graham's my ghostwriter, not in a scary way. Like a Casper. like a Casper, like if Casper wrote jokes. Yes. Yeah. Thank you. I've always said that in my bio, if they say,
Starting point is 00:33:10 what do you want me to say about you? I say exactly that, please. Um, but your listeners might be interested to, to, to know this, that,
Starting point is 00:33:18 that I decided to do stand up 18 years ago in Vancouver. I was 19 at the time. And I started performing at a yuck yucks, which is, I thought just the only place you could do comedy. And I met Graham at the yuck yucks and, um, and Graham was the first person in,
Starting point is 00:33:36 in comedy that was nice to me. And, and just was like, Hey, be my friend and get over here. You, he literally said that be my friend. Get over here, you. He literally said that, be my friend. But I honestly remember, I don't remember where we went,
Starting point is 00:33:52 but I honestly remember, Graham, the first time you invited me into a taxi to go with you to another show that I simply didn't know existed. And I felt so cool and sort of welcomed into comedy. and I felt so cool and sort of welcomed into comedy. But then going on from that, the Graham's show, The Laugh Gallery, if you're ever in Vancouver and it's not a pandemic, go to The Laugh Gallery. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:21 So if you're listening to this during the next pandemic. Yes. Don't go to The Laugh Gallery. Yeah. But it's happening on zoom yeah but uh you've given me the most kind of consistent and welcoming stage time over the years and well that's because you're so good at comedy so i don't need to worry about the time that you're up there i can go sit in the back of the audience and really relax you know put my hands behind my head sit in the sit in the theater hammock every theater has one yep it's important
Starting point is 00:34:51 instead of like actively coaching like act it out and clapping it bangs a drum if you're i'm gonna start into doing that at a show just to get everybody to have that kind of yeah tell the audience they're gonna win us a three-week intensive but i would say pretty much every every bit of material on this i i would assume every bit in the hour that's recorded was you know workshopped in its infancy at the Laugh Gallery. Oh, cool. Well, I can't wait to hear it. Where I actually, I think you write the same way,
Starting point is 00:35:35 and I don't know this for sure, but like maybe 10 years ago, I stopped actually writing the jokes, and I just kind of go on stage with the idea. Yeah. And it's usually pretty rough at first, and that's what i do at your show you gotta do it somewhere yeah um yeah i yeah since the pandemic started i've written exactly zero jokes oh no i wrote one joke and it was about little caesars making a pledge to its customers that during the pandemic we will make the pizza and then no one will touch it before you get it.
Starting point is 00:36:07 But after the pandemic, yeah, our hands are going back on that pizza. Yeah. They actually did a thing that made me think of you recently. Cause you years ago had a joke about the stuffed crust. I believe. Yes.
Starting point is 00:36:20 Have you seen what they're now doing with the stuffed crust? No. What are they doing i can't believe it took them like 20 years to think of this they're now putting pepperoni in the stuffed crust yes maybe they'll just sell a pizza that's all crust and then you don't have to have the pizza part just all roll it into a crust this is that's my idea you can't have it you can't have you either of you ever had stuffed crust oh yes i have yeah i haven't i it seems like the greatest idea but it can't possibly deliver on the promise it's i mean it's exactly as you think it would be beautiful it's very good hot yeah it's hot when it's hot it's beautiful perfect doesn't it doesn't uh age well in the
Starting point is 00:37:05 fridge overnight kind of thing sure and this is the and then the commercials the first commercials they made for stuff crust pizza the people ate the pizza backwards that's right that's right and i think it's actually just totally played out according to your joke gram which i believe this joke is like 15 years old or something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It'll be driving soon. I'm very proud of it. Oh yeah. That they just keep, they keep,
Starting point is 00:37:35 um, you know, stuffing different things in different pizza parts. Yeah. Yeah. And we, my wife and I actually had a really bad experience with uh little caesars i'm gonna name and shame them right yeah here we go yeah um they said that
Starting point is 00:37:51 they sold stuffed crazy bread oh and we were like that's a great idea and then we ate it and we got sick and it's a bad idea. Was this during the pandemic? Yes. Okay, well, that's weird. I think maybe you get sick if they don't touch the pizza. Yeah. They didn't say anything about breadsticks. Yeah, they never said they wouldn't touch the breadsticks.
Starting point is 00:38:18 Oh, sure. That's why it's crazy bread. No rules. Try our Benoit bread. crazy brett no rules try our benoit brett uh dave what's going on with you man oh well it's hot it's hot hottest place in the world right now it's this is where we are yeah that's why you guys are not wearing sleeves but you are and i think that's brave i don't have a sleeveless anything i mean i guess i have a gown like is it the same one you wore to the oscars or yeah i mean it's not technically
Starting point is 00:38:54 sleeveless it has big poofs but they're like halfway down the bicep it's what i wore to get my vaccine it's your vaccine gown yeah it's my uh debutante vaccine gown um i got vaccinated we got my second vaccine yesterday boom uh because i i um my first one was astrazeneca and then they were like everybody should get astrazeneca for their second dose if you got it for your first dose and then like one day, all of a sudden don't get it, get anything else mix and match. Why?
Starting point is 00:39:32 Because did that one just get turfed? I don't know why. Um, I, I really don't know why. I think what happened to you when you got the first one, did anything happen? I got blood clots.
Starting point is 00:39:43 Oh, geez. Yeah. No, you got super first one did anything happen i got blood clots oh geez yeah no you got super sick though right i got i had one day of super super sick super like chills and uh you know visions and i had a uh you know a fever of 103 i was hot-blooded what kind of visions i know through the podcast that you have boring dreams did you have a boring vision no i had very exciting devil vision uh i had to be uh you know put into a bathtub full of ice cubes like uh jacob ladder yes um
Starting point is 00:40:20 let's see no it was just i'd had chills and then felt groggy all day. And this time I just had a bad sleep and have been groggy all day. Yeah. But I think I'm coming out of it. Yeah, you sound sharp as a tack. Oh, yeah, yeah. But around about three o'clock I started getting better. Tightening up.
Starting point is 00:40:38 Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, so that's over and done with. So that's over and done with. We had our first time. I took Abby and the kids to a restaurant for the first time in over a year. Wow. Did you eat inside or did you eat on the patio?
Starting point is 00:40:57 Wow, that's a fair question to ask. Of course it's a fair question to ask. He's double vaxxed. He's not crazy, Brad. Yeah, I was only single vaxxed he's not crazy brad yeah i wasn't even i was only single vaxxed then uh and so uh that was but it was the greatest it was like you've been patio partying this whole time yeah i i will i will hang out on a patio at the drop of a hat oh i drank two beers yeah they brought they they walked by and they said, uh,
Starting point is 00:41:25 how's everything doing? And I was like, I would like more beer. I'm not even finished my first beer. I need more beer. And then you're like, it's my birthday. Can you bring over a cake?
Starting point is 00:41:33 Yeah. Can someone sing to me? You have like a proprietary song that you sing here. That's right. Happy birthday from spaghetti factory. Cause you're the birthday boy and you're totally cool you got a spooky dookie david and you're totally cool it only works for people named david um but yeah i've also had my first like uh uh rejecting going out. Oh, where you're like, no, I've got plans, that kind of thing?
Starting point is 00:42:08 Well, no, no. Where I was like, someone was like, hey, we're going to have some drinks in the park. You should come. And it was a night where I was like putting the kids to bed and I was like, I can't make it. But they were like, oh, well, we're going to be doing it again tomorrow. So can you make it tomorrow? And I was like, sure. And the whole day long, i was like sure and the whole
Starting point is 00:42:25 day long i was like this is gonna be great i'm gonna uh gonna see my friends outside have a couple of drinks and then like uh 10 minutes before i was like i cannot go to this i do not want to go please don't make me go so did you not go i did not go okay there you go but it was like the uh it you know this was a couple weeks ago before they had opened anything back up and like you were like legally not allowed to have more than five friends which is yeah i cut a lot of people out of my life yes yeah i really did sean did you really do a combing through and just these five stay and everybody else can go very much i mean i've i've only did patio maybe twice two three times and i hate to be the only guy wearing a tie-dye shirt who hasn't been vaxxed but i'm a guy wearing a tie-dye shirt who hasn't been vaxxed i'm getting on friday my first dose on friday oh first dose yeah oh you're gonna love it well
Starting point is 00:43:25 sean's younger than us he's he's in the he's in the under 12 category i'm in the i'm in the tie dye category yeah yeah yeah well you're in the cool category um we uh yeah it was like theoretically that those like restrictions on meetups are perfect for me. Cause I hate like my, my ideal hangout is when I know the five people I'm going to hang out with. Yeah. And, but like, uh,
Starting point is 00:43:54 what's the word I'm looking for? Not evidently. I was going to say kayak, but no, you're right. Coincidentally. No, um,
Starting point is 00:44:02 without fail, but without fail, one of those people invites two of their friends who i don't know and then yes and so does someone else and then suddenly we're 10 people and i and and also they're people who have been hanging out with people all day and i this is my one thing this week. And so like the, the, I like the idea that it's illegal to invite. Yeah. It's illegal to do that now. That would, that should have been like the perfect, uh, hangout strategy for me. Have you ever had it where you're hanging out where you're hanging out with a crowd and slowly all the people, you know, have left.
Starting point is 00:44:42 And then all of a sudden you're just there with the people that your friends brought? No. I haven't had that because I will leave. You were the first leaver. That's right. Sean, first leaver? Always first leaver. I mean, they call it an Irish goodbye and I have Irish in my heritage. Yeah, me too. Is that what it's called? Irish goodbye? Irish goodbye.
Starting point is 00:45:00 Yeah. I've also heard someone call it a French leave. Oh, that's what the clowns will tell you they try and clown it up on their end which it doesn't sound as nice you know they should have with the the your bubble or whatever they should have just made it like uh what's it spit spit brothers or whatever what was it called blood brothers yeah you spit in your hand and then you like shake and then it's kind of like we're bonded. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:26 Yeah. Did you ever do blood brother? Any of you guys? No. I never did. Dave's offended. Well, no, but like, I'm not kind of, first of all, I've never had anyone who considered me a best friend. I had people I considered my best friends and they were like,
Starting point is 00:45:41 I'm actually best friends with this other guy. Yeah. You're just openly bleeding and looking for a friend. And he's like, yeah, I have a best friend. He's in Canada. You wouldn't know him, but. I'm in Canada. And then, yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:55 And also, no, kids don't really cut themselves and do that. They do now. It's on TikTok. Yeah. Kids? Yeah, there's children on tiktok and they and they um they they prick their fingers yeah yeah that's what my i feel like my mother would always say that when i wasn't eating my dinner she's like you know there's children on tiktok who are hungry right now and they're
Starting point is 00:46:20 millionaires oh man they're they're uh you know they know all the dances lip sync to some movie dialogue do you spend any time on the tiktok? I've never been on tiktok I see it on I only just joined instagram a couple of months ago yeah fair enough
Starting point is 00:46:42 and then I see tiktok on there or people put tiktok on instagram that's true i follow this one uh uh instagram account called bug girl 69 nice and she just posts tiktoks like she'll do a dump of 10 tiktok videos and they're all just like people you know like pulling a fish out of the mud or like someone's with their grandma like it's it's very wholesome and weird yeah but yeah i don't uh i watch videos on there i still don't really know what content is after all these years i'm not sure what content is i mean i've never pulled a fish out of the mud that seems like good content but it's great but you have to you have to be filming stuff all the
Starting point is 00:47:31 time to pick this stuff up right yeah and people are yeah well good for them that's what like these these phones man they're like they can do all all this stuff yeah's true. It's not just a phone anymore. I mean, it's barely a phone now. Who uses it as a phone, right? Your parents. Here are the TikToks I saw today that I liked. A guy who goes on roller coasters and doesn't scream and just tries to stay stone-faced. That's great.
Starting point is 00:48:00 That's a lot of fun. A guy who goes on roller coasters and tries to eat food. Two different guys. Yeah. A woman who said her ex moved in next door, and so she's trying to make a bunch of sex noises to make him jealous. These were the good ones today. TikTok is funnier than any comedian.
Starting point is 00:48:21 That's comedies where comedian is over. TikTok. Because that's all hilarious shit and that's just like from today yeah can't keep up no you can't write as many jokes that fast there's this one that is a uh someone discovered that at the bowling alley you can send messages instant messages to other lanes at the bowling alley, you can send messages, instant messages to other lanes at the bowling alley. And they just wrote nice one, idiot to some stranger. Someone, I'm still not looking at the TikTok,
Starting point is 00:48:56 but someone told me on TikTok that sea shanties are popular. Really? They had a moment. Yeah. Which, and everyone was was like that's so weird but we lived in canada in the 90s that was popular music here that's true yeah yeah great big c great big c ashley mckissick the rankin family oh my gosh ashley mckissick very first concert i ever went to oh good concert good good concert the the first concert i wanted to go to was for the canadian band moist yes and i wouldn't know you got a moist story i saw them well i didn't see them i uh i saw them i went to one of their concerts but i had to leave because
Starting point is 00:49:42 i got a migraine and so i only saw the opening bands mud girl and i mother earth i have a moist story as well uh there was it related to the band yeah that's also a great testimony for moist is dave's quote i had to leave because i got a migraine used to get migraines migrants yeah they played at a mall in Calgary yeah they played at a mall Clooney they stood on top of her I thought it was rude they played in
Starting point is 00:50:15 South Center Mall and some kids were getting rowdies trying to start a mosh pit and I was standing right next to them and they said if anybody starts another mosh pit we're leaving and the girl behind me was like shove me into another guy and a mosh pit started right away and they left the stage so moist gone moist gone so i i wanted that was the first concert i wanted to go to and my i told my dad and he was like yeah i think you could go and then he asked my mom
Starting point is 00:50:42 and she was like what's the name of the band and i was like moist and i was like 13 or something and she just thought about she's like i don't like that i don't know and so i wasn't allowed to go but then like a year later i was allowed to go to ashley mckissick which uh i was 14 at the time and i dove off the stage twice nice because i had all that moist energy that was built up inside me yeah and the funny thing was it was when it was over the i was there with like three other people from my high school someone oh man okay i'm gonna say this but i don't want to get sued by ashley mckissick but someone in the clear someone in ashley mckissick's kind of crew told our group like oh you guys had such great energy jumping off stage and stuff you should come party with us party with us nice and so i said no and i went home but a guy i know went and he said that he watched them do cocaine at the holiday inn in guelph ontario
Starting point is 00:51:56 actually in in guelph ontario you can buy cocaine with your student card. Yeah. That's the best anti-drug story I've ever heard. If somebody's deciding whether or not to try out drugs. That's as sad as it gets. I like that my mom's intuition backfired. That she was like, moist? No. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:25 Ashley MacIsaac, wholesome kind of fiddle music. Yeah. And I could have ended up at a Holiday Inn doing cocaine. Did you grow up in Guelph? I grew up in Ottawa. And then when we were 11, we moved to Guelph. When you were all 11? Yes.
Starting point is 00:52:40 When we all turned 11. Everyone, all the 11-year-olds in Ottawa moved to Gu to guelph yeah it was a mass exodus okay it really hurt the economy i went to guelph a couple years ago and you i went to buffalo wild wings and apparently uh every restaurant in town you can every bar in town you it's such a big college town you can use your student like the food card or whatever any restaurant it's a huge college town it's also really archaic it's like i don't know many other towns like this where you still can't build a building that's bigger than the old catholic church on the hill like there's still a bylaw where no building can be taller than the church downtown because the church has to be at the center of it all kind of thing you gotta be able to see yeah see that
Starting point is 00:53:32 gotta be able to see the that's one of the tenets of christianity is that you always you have to face the church in town yeah pray to it face the church in town. Yeah. Pray to it. Face the church in town. And if you got them, sell minions outside of it. Yes. But when they pass around the basket at the church, they accept student cards. So it's super. Graham, what's going on with you? And also, did you ever crowd surf slash stage dive? No, I was too scared to do that.
Starting point is 00:54:03 And I was afraid that I would i like every day wouldn't want to catch me they'd be like fuck this kid and i just launched backward into the ground i did crowd surf i didn't do any stage diving but i did crowd surfing where you would get someone to like put their but you'd put your foot in their hand and they'd launch you up and then people would carry you to the front and the security guy would be like okay go go back into the garage do it again like uh like a guy um you know manning one of the water slides do you think there will be crowd surfing after the coronavirus i pray i pray that there will be yeah because all the tours will be sponsored by like purell and zoom so everybody will they'll have giveaway little packs of purell so it'll be fine it'll be puddle of mud brought to you by clorox so what's going on with you graham um so i i've feel like over the last many months
Starting point is 00:55:02 i've been filling you in on whatever drama has been happening in my apartment complex. Yes. And so a couple of weeks ago, I told you and cool up that there's like a little this guy put out some stuff for free and it was pretty good stuff. And then other people started putting their stuff there. And then it became kind of like this mini mini market. Like it was the place to put something you were trying to get rid of but wasn't garbage and so that that's still been going but one evening early evening i heard somebody with a like a dolly and i looked out
Starting point is 00:55:38 the window and it was the guy from i assume that house bringing a door over to our dumpster and then he like dumped the door there and i yelled at him out the window i was like sir that is not you are not supposed to be dumping that over here he just walked away like he didn't hear anything and then a couple days later the gardener for our building was here talking to the maintenance woman and she was saying like because we we contacted her and said if you need to find out where this door is coming from it's from the third and we gave him an address and uh and yeah i'm sure the maintenance woman was like oh great i want i can't wait to confront this guy no the gardener was gonna do all the confronting so he okay he confronted me saw him out in the alley with a big pitchfork yeah he had a big pitchfork and uh and just a corncob pipe and
Starting point is 00:56:31 he's so scary overalls and all that um he uh said hey buddy you gotta move your door back to your place and the guy said it wasn't his door he said we know it's your door we have people who witnessed that it's your door and then he went up right up to him and i couldn't his door he said we know it's your door we have people who witnessed that it's your door and then he went up right up to him and i couldn't hear what he said but it was obviously enough to make him go and pick up his dolly and bring the door back so he was like if you don't i'll kill you or whatever he said to him all day long i'm a gardener all day long i just dig holes go get your door yeah so big big time drama over here at the apartment building and speaking of like hanging out on patios and in parks i was hanging out in the park like a week ago and uh it was a park that
Starting point is 00:57:22 has like a recreation center in the middle of it. And I needed to go to the bathroom. And then I went. This was like 6 o'clock at night. I went to the building. And the public bathrooms were locked. And you know that thing where your bladder seems to know when you're exactly close enough to the toilet, but maybe not so close? Yeah. So I had that.
Starting point is 00:57:41 I was already at that level. And my brain had to relay back to my bladder. Like, no, no, no, no, no,
Starting point is 00:57:46 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
Starting point is 00:57:46 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
Starting point is 00:57:48 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
Starting point is 00:57:48 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
Starting point is 00:57:49 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
Starting point is 00:57:50 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
Starting point is 00:57:50 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
Starting point is 00:57:51 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
Starting point is 00:57:51 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
Starting point is 00:57:51 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
Starting point is 00:57:53 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, So, there was a construction site across the road. And I was like, wherever the construction site, there's a portable toilet.
Starting point is 00:58:09 So, I went and I could see it. And it was around the back of the building. So, I went around the back and had to climb through a tree. Like, they were the only thing between me and the... Oh, they don't bother putting the fence around the tree. Yeah, exactly. So, I had to go around the side of the tree, and then I used the bathroom. And so when I came back to the group, it had been like 15 or 20 minutes since I left.
Starting point is 00:58:34 And right away, somebody was like, you have a giant branch in your hair. So it looked like I had just been like a castaway or something like that. Anyways, if anybody ever needs to use a bathroom and there doesn't seem to be one in sight check the construction sites that's my tip of the day there's um there was a so in our neighborhood there are um they've set up like temporary plazas that seem pretty permanent yeah um and there's one where you're not allowed to drink right and one where you are allowed to drink and that one they've installed a port-a-potty at which is like oh you're allowed to drink but like
Starting point is 00:59:10 don't settle in for the long yeah like don't pee all over the place it's we've got you covered but it's uh but the other day i saw people at the one where you're not allowed to drink and there were there were four people at like six o'clock at night just hammered with like a tiny they've got all these temporary tiny tables set up and they just like it was full of like 10 empty bottles of smirnoff ice and white claw and they were so loud and everyone else was like trying to enjoy an ice cream cone with their kids and they're singing sea shanties right next to these kids who are trying to eat ice cream um now at this point should we move on to some overheards yeah let's do that one two one two three hi everybody my name is justin mccroy i'm sydney mccroy we're both doctors
Starting point is 01:00:03 and nope just me. Okay, well Sydney's a doctor and I'm a medical enthusiast and we create Sawbones, a marital tour of misguided medicine. Every week I dig through the annals of medical history to bring you the wildest, grossest, sometimes dumbest tales of ways we've tried to treat people throughout history. And lately we do a lot of modern fake medicine because everything's a disaster. But it's slightly less of a disaster every Friday right here on MaximumFun.org as we bring you Sawbones,
Starting point is 01:00:31 a marital tour of misguided medicine. And remember, don't drill a hole in your head. Overheard. Overheard uh segment of this show has been with it since i just want graham before graham i just want i need to cut you off okay we've been doing this show for uh like over a year on zoom yes and i don't think anyone has ever used the chat function until today oh you're using the chat well during the last during the last segment sean wrote in the chat i need p question mark i did you did you see that at the time no oh you just naturally moved on to let's move on to overheard
Starting point is 01:01:26 no i had i had i had no idea that uh that sean needed p but he got p i need p he got p we all got p yeah got p like those you got p oh i got p baby um so you know what guys overheards a segment where you hear things, and then why don't you share them? Don't keep them to yourself. Send them our way. And we always like to start with the guest. Sean, what is your overheard?
Starting point is 01:01:54 So this is an overseen. Allow it. And my co-star in this overseen is Aaron Reidaron reed aaron reed past guest of the program so funny so funny and for those of you don't know aaron reed also a very very very talented musician and i was roommates with aaron for several years and sometimes he would bring me out to cool music shows. And he got really into, like, drone music. That's just a didgeridoo you're doing now. It started as a drone. And so he's like, let's go to this drone concert.
Starting point is 01:02:41 Was it a bunch of people with the helicopter? Remote control helicopter and so i went because you know i want to hang out with aaron not necessarily into the music and we went and it was in um some kind of hall in east vancouver and it was surprisingly fancy it was all like seated you know you couldn't you couldn't mosh you couldn't mosh to the drone. And so, and we were early, so we sat down and it was, I would describe it as fancy. It was like, you know, older people, very, I didn't know this about drone music, but I think it's kind of very serious music, hip people. And they were all sitting down and it was this artist from new york came out and
Starting point is 01:03:26 you know the music was interesting or whatever but i was more fascinated with all these people who were like here to see this drone music and i looked over and right in the front row there was a woman in her 40s uh who was, watching the drone music and totally like Winston's eyes looking at her. This is pre pandemic to be clear. Yeah. She did the clear kind of, I'm going to sneeze face. And I was like,
Starting point is 01:03:58 Oh, okay, cool. This one was going to sneeze in the middle of this drone performance. And then right before she sneezed, she cocked her neck back and then she made the kind of thing with your hand, like if you were going to blow like fairy dust
Starting point is 01:04:13 in someone's face. And she just cupped her hand in front of her face and she sneezed into her cupped hand and then looked around. Didn't see me. I saw her the whole time. Looked around and then drank it. Oh, Jesus.
Starting point is 01:04:35 Oh, my God. I had no idea why. Look, I've heard of people picking their nose and eating it. Look, I mean, who among us? but she just like i've heard of people like picking their nose and eating it look i mean who among us uh but i've i've never even heard of that as a possibility drink your sneeze that's like something a creep would write in a in like a yearbook yeah i want to suck your toes and drink your sneeze oh wow well that's amazing that's a real pre-pandemic yeah real pre-pandemic i can't wait to see people sneeze again yeah drink it have a quick shot of sneeze and be on my way
Starting point is 01:05:17 uh dave do you have an overheard i am one guy with an overheard. And this is something I saw. I overheard yesterday when I was getting my shot. Where did you get it? You get it at the convention center? I went to the Sunset Community Center on 51st and Main. That was nice. The one downtown, the convention center seems too big.
Starting point is 01:05:41 It's big, but ooh, it's fast. Sure. This was fast too. I mean, the slowest part is you got to wait 15 minutes to make sure you don't faint. Yeah, that's right. They make you sit down,
Starting point is 01:05:51 which is nice. Cause then for that 15 minutes, you don't have to think about anything. You just get to sit there and not pass out. So I was there and, uh, getting my, I got Moderna.
Starting point is 01:06:00 I got, so I've got AstraZeneca and Modna fighting for supremacy in your body yeah yeah i mean boy if they if we need a booster i'm gonna try to get pfizer one one of everything yeah um and there was a some volunteers there i assume no way these people are getting paid the way they were working they were doing such herky-jerky work. Oh, man. Did they miss your arm with the shot? No, no, that guy, the nurses and people with the drugs,
Starting point is 01:06:31 the people with the vaccines were, they were getting paid, I'm sure, but the people making you go in line, this lady let me go so, budge so far ahead in line because it was like two lines merging into one but i was the only person in this one line and there were like 10 people in the other line who had been waiting there and she was like you're next you're next see you later dumb line you're in the smart line
Starting point is 01:06:55 get over here and so uh these two ladies were uh talking older ladies and uh you could tell they were kind of like their work friends for the day yeah yeah they'll never see each other again uh and uh one of them said did you see that very tall man who came in the other one said no and she said six foot five and the other one said wow and she said he was very nice and the other one said good good yeah i don't want you to ruin six foot four for me and then i uh and then i went in uh to the big gymnasium where they were doing the shots and this the very tall man local news anchor chris gayless holy shit what and like what a strapping man what a stud muffin he's a real hug the type of news anchor that you think like he would go to the war and he would do like a broadcast from the war yeah and he would kill hitler yes and it just
Starting point is 01:08:04 like seeing him in person you're like wow you don't you probably get two haircuts a week yes yeah well you never grow it out do you think he's got a makeup person or do you think he has to do his own makeup before i wonder i mean the the times i've visited like news um news sets uh broadcast sets in the last couple of years. It's very bare bones. I think you probably just do your own thing. There's not even camera operators anymore. How tall is he, you think?
Starting point is 01:08:34 About maybe six, four and a half. Beautiful. Do the tall people get bigger vaccines? Yeah, they do. They have to. Yeah, they get a giant. They get an extra large. bigger vaccines yeah they do they have to yeah they get a giant they get an extra large um what was your overseen uh heard your it's the segment's called overheard that's true and i didn't see anything but i did john sean what are you snacking on yeah what are you sorry no it's no
Starting point is 01:09:00 problem do you have enough to share with the class you know what if you were here and it wasn't a pandemic i have exactly the right number nice of toffee cookies no no but they could have been you know i mean they're yeah it's the can you edit that out yes they are okay yeah okay they are homemade i don't care they just looked homemade so i don't i don't have a horse in this race um my overheard is uh i think i feel like it was two teenage ladies were gossiping on the side of the building they were sitting in chairs and they were gossiping and i couldn't hear all of it but at one point uh one of them said to the other i don't think you should but i think you should obviously it's a bad idea but do it i love drama uh man i tell you summertime it's a it's a horn a plenty when it comes to overheards because
Starting point is 01:10:07 everybody's outside oh yeah away oh i'm so excited for it except for the stifling heat yes oh man this is uh this is no good and it's gonna get hotter yeah yeah every year forever until we all die. That's right. I forgot about that. Yeah. It's not just going to get hotter in a week. Just progressively all the time. Always. Mm hmm.
Starting point is 01:10:31 Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Uh, now we also have overheards written into us from people all over the world. If you want to send one new to us. Yeah. Send it to SBY at maximum fun.org. And,
Starting point is 01:10:44 uh, this first one comes from Rory in Calgary, Alberta. Calgary. Calgary. With a wholesome overheard, I was reading a book on my deck when I heard my neighbors say to their child in an enthusiastic voice,
Starting point is 01:10:58 Alright, you scrumptious bumpkin! How old were you when you realized that pumpkin and bunk bunking are different things oh boy a country bumpkin and a country pumpkin um did you ever have a word like that where you were like you knew the word you knew how to say the word but you had no idea what it meant or you connected it with a different. I remember absolutely the first time I heard the word on purpose. I was at my friend's house and I had spilled, I was like six and I had spilled grape juice on the floor. And his mom asked if it was on purpose. And I was like, yeah, it's purple.
Starting point is 01:11:39 Is that what that related? So, yes. Yeah. related but yet so yes yeah i when i was a kid i had made up a word that i used for several years in ottawa as a child i used to say grossitating what did it mean it was if something was really gross it was grossitating sure that's and then it wasn't until we moved to another town that i was shamed for using this word that wasn't a word my uh college roommate in the dorms in my first year of university uh he said his he came up with a catchphrase he was like you'll never nothing is more disrespectful than this. Eat my fuck. Eat my fuck.
Starting point is 01:12:28 And he was trying to get it to catch on. I mean, that is pretty good. It would really throw your enemy off balance. How do I do that? Then you can go in for the punch. Um, this next one comes from Eva, last name unknown.
Starting point is 01:12:47 This is one of those overheards that are like something said directly to me. That's fine. I'm a teacher. I was asking my teenage students. This is online. What their favorite holiday is. One student said none. It's tough to get student engagement.
Starting point is 01:13:01 So I said none. Do you like Halloween? Do you like the winter holidays? He answered with an expression, no. I only like Harambe. Wow. The feast of Harambe. All the things you're talking about, I don't give a shit.
Starting point is 01:13:18 I like Harambe. That's all I'm interested in. Boy, he was Harambe a boy? I don't know. He was definitely don't know he was definitely a gorilla he's definitely a gorilla yeah we have confirmation on that uh-huh what happened with that how's the did he survive that no he no they shot him and murdered him yeah they murdered him in front of a group of people too it wasn't like yeah take him away and murder him quite a little a little toddler had crawled into his enclosure.
Starting point is 01:13:46 They should have shot him as well. You know what I mean? They should have figured out. They should have shoot everybody and figured out the details later. Yeah, like God told them about. At least that way you know it'll never happen again. The zookeeper has a license to kill anybody that's connected to the zoo. Did you call the zookeeper the zoopkeeper? Yeah, that's what. Did you call the zookeeper the Zoopkeeper?
Starting point is 01:14:06 Yeah, that's what I used to call the zookeeper. Zoopkeeper. It was grossitating. That Zoopkeeper is grossitating. His name was Judge Dredd. Yeah, he was the law. This last one comes from Lindsey right here in Vancouver.
Starting point is 01:14:24 Worked at a school and overheard a teacher speaking to a group of grade 12 students teacher any of you are interested in working this summer the principal has a friend who owns his own business and is looking to hire a student for the summer one of the boys groaned said oh no is this another pyramid scheme what so like that that guy's parents got taken in a fear of or the principal principal keeps getting taken yeah yeah down on his luck because he spent all his money three times over no it's multi-level marketing it's different no no this is a different friend. This is a completely different shape. Why did the principal show up to work wearing a barrel with suspenders?
Starting point is 01:15:14 He lost all his money in a pyramid scheme. Do you think that one guy did that one time and then somebody reported on it and it became a famous thing? Yeah. Because barrels are fucking expensive. If you ever tried to buy a barrel they're like hugely collectible hugely expensive well now they are no that's true maybe back in the old days you know what's more expensive than a barrel
Starting point is 01:15:33 is suspenders that can support a barrel yeah like Kevlar suspenders have you guys ever seen a person wearing suspenders and also a belt I guess it feels like it's a senior citizen thing Have you guys ever seen a person wearing suspenders and also a belt? I guess.
Starting point is 01:15:50 It feels like it's a senior citizen thing, but it really screams, nobody's pulling down my pants ever again. In addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us, our phone number is 1-844-779-7631 that's one spy pod one like these people have hi james hi graham hello the guest uh this is me calling from chicago my son was at the park today and he heard a younger kid say hey mom i found some dirt thanks bye you know you were looking for dirt the other day i found some dirt. Thanks. Bye. You know, you were looking for dirt the other day.
Starting point is 01:16:28 I found some. I struck dirt over here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It sounds like it could also be passive aggression. Like the kid wants more interesting experiences in their life. Check this out, Mom. Yeah, let's see if I can find any dirt. Found some. Found a couple rocks too
Starting point is 01:16:49 Billy Bobby went to the science center I'm just supposed to pick up random dirt have you ever had to do that Dave just like give your kids a task just to get them out of your hair for like two minutes just like oh whoever
Starting point is 01:17:05 brings the biggest rock back oh sure um yeah that kind of thing or like i'll time you yes yeah i know it's popular in pools it's like see if you can dive to the bottom of the pool and pick up a quarter or whatever they i'm not i can't outsmart my kids like that. I never can think of what to do. They're always sending you on tasks. Eddie, could you go get some rocks? Okay, I'll find some dirt for you. Hey, wait a minute. Hold on a second. Where's my wallet?
Starting point is 01:17:36 Here's your next phone call. Hey, Dave Graham, possible guest. I have an overheard to call in. This is Tom from New Jersey. I was walking through town and I saw a mailman who was just kind of talking to a driver
Starting point is 01:17:50 who was just at a stop sign kind of blocking the roads. He was kind of leaning into the car, talking to her. And all I heard from him was, I have four sons. They're all idiots.
Starting point is 01:18:00 Anyway, good luck. And he just walked away and really entertained me. And I've been thinking about it for days. Thanks. Anyways, good luck. Yeah, yeah, away. And really entertained me. And I've been thinking about it for days. Thanks. Anyways, good luck. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good luck with your four sons.
Starting point is 01:18:10 Four sons. Can you imagine the state of their house would be torn to shreds? You are from a family of three sons. Yeah. You started My Three Sons. Yeah. And we nearly destroyed the place from the inside out. We were like a three-man wrecking crew.
Starting point is 01:18:26 And so I can't imagine another one in the mix. My God. I just made a reference to My Three Sons, a show I have never seen before. But do you know that it's... I know one of these shows that had a title. Car 54, Where Are You? My Mother the Car. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:18:43 Oh, what was the horse one? Mr. Ed. Mr. Ed. Yeah. I was thinking about Mr. Ed the other day. title car 54 where are you my mother the car yeah oh what was the horse one mr ed mr ed yeah i was thinking about mr ed the other day and i was like that used to be a very popular reference yes like up until 1990 something yeah i think if you when horses started actually talking yeah that's right and it wasn't special anymore yeah um yeah uh i feel like if you told a kid today that that was a show that existed that was very popular and lasted a long time like it wasn't just a one episode crazy thing that happened i wouldn't believe it i wouldn't believe it if i was a kid i'd be like that sounds awesome like well it would be a tiktok now yeah just be a one 10 second tiktok and then well but it would probably
Starting point is 01:19:26 be a uh it would be a trending tiktok yeah everyone's horse would be everyone yeah it would be a lot of horse talk etc etc and it was just him eating peanut butter or something that's how they yeah that was the whole show i want some more peanut butter wait you're not supposed to say why i assume that's what it was like put peanut butter yeah peanut butter on his lips put peanut butter on your penis just like marlon brando yeah exactly that's how marlon brando acts just put a little peanut butter around his mouth no but really did thing if he did you hear that of i think it's the godfather that he says he maybe he was just full of shit but he said he put cotton balls in his mouth yeah yeah he did at least for the audition i don't know if he did for the whole thing but like maybe because
Starting point is 01:20:16 something they said he was like too famous and handsome to be the nobody would believe him as a matri or patriarch of this family and then he yeah he did that he uglied up so he looked like an old man yeah put an orange in his mouth not that old men are ugly but you know some of them are they look like they have cotton balls in their mouth yeah it's true and cotton balls for hair and very squinty it was a very squinty performance yeah i mean considering how bad makeup looks like and like anything to make like most you know prosthetics and makeup are a complete zero the oh man i watched the especially in the 70s oh yeah just like pretty that was a pretty good transformation it was great but i watched uh benjamin button Button like a couple weeks ago.
Starting point is 01:21:07 I'd never seen it before. And the makeup in that, there's the love interest, whoever it is that plays the love interest, she is telling this story as an old woman in bed. And they put all this makeup on her. And I was like, why didn't you just get somebody that age? It's not amazing. It doesn't look like the performer in any way, shape, or form.
Starting point is 01:21:27 Well, so I used to run this blog called Kid Casting where I would compare young actors with the old actors who played them. And I remember recently someone saying like, oh, isn't it weird at the end of A League of Their Own, they got different actresses to play all the baseball players grown up except they put old makeup on Geena Davis. And that's not true. Is that not true? It's all old actresses.
Starting point is 01:21:59 Sick burn on Geena Davis. Did Geena Davis email you? No, we Skype. Oh, I wish. Skyping with Gina Davis? Oh my god. Getting some like arrow tips, you know, stuff like that. Oh yeah, she's a great archer. She's a great archer.
Starting point is 01:22:17 Here's your final overheard. Hey Dave Graham and possible guests. This is Miranda in Wisconsin calling in a double overseen. I was driving across town to pick up something at a hardware store. I glanced over to my right and saw a billboard for a local chiropractic place that I guess is called The Joint. And it said in really big letters, this joint is legal. And I was just thinking to myself, I guess marijuana humor is becoming more mainstream as legalization moves forward.
Starting point is 01:22:45 And I brought my eyes back to the road and two vehicles in front of me, there was a delivery truck for some food company that had its slogan painted on it. And the slogan was, everybody must get sconed. Wow. Love you guys. Off I go. A twofer.
Starting point is 01:22:55 A twofer of pun work. Of pot puns. Pot puns, yeah. And speaking of, ever since getting that vaccine yesterday, I've had some joint pain. Yes. Yes. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:23:07 This is good. Lingering? Lingering? Yeah, it lingers. Oh. Well, that's all. I don't have any more fun, like, fun doobie puns. Let the good times roll.
Starting point is 01:23:23 I don't know about that before. A carpet company, guess of course and yes and of course marijuana uh and yes can a cannabis uh like a can of buses like maybe like a little you open up a can and a bus comes up i don't know maybe it's the magic school bus it's shrunk i um would that work mostly the work i do is i make these little buses and i put them in a can and then people buy them yeah they think they are they're electrified that's how they are able to dance around like sean you uh i mean you said you wanted to you you know i do better than your last time on the show here's what we got. We got your great clowning story.
Starting point is 01:24:06 We got your great minion story. We got you drinking a sneeze. I think you, I think, I mean, you did great. Yeah, you're top of the pops. You did it. You stuck the landing. I don't, like, the fact that we haven't had you on in such a long time is most, like, completely an oversight on my part.
Starting point is 01:24:23 No, no, no. I don't think he likes us. Oh, that's right yeah i think it works i felt like i would need to maybe explain it and it's that i get i get so um i overthink i get so anxious when i know i have to do an interview right yeah even though it's so delightful to speak with you yeah this isn't really an interview no although we did ask some career questions like where do you see yourself in five years oh where do you get your ideas but i had um like as an example of that the stress it causes me is for this album i have to do some interviews and i had a kind of dave
Starting point is 01:25:00 level boring dream but it was like a boring stress dream where there was some interview booked with like a blog not like a big newspaper or something like some kind of website yeah and the other night i had a stress dream where and this is one of my most stressful scenarios i can imagine is bumping into someone who i didn't know I was going to bump into. And in the dream, I bumped into the guy who's going to interview me in public. And I was like, oh, yeah, I'm looking forward to doing that interview. And then he said, oh, well, I don't know if it's going to happen. I might have to reschedule it. And that was the whole dream.
Starting point is 01:25:43 Oh, boy. What is that dream trying to tell you? I mean, scheduling stuff is the most stressful thing in the world. Oh, my God. Yeah. Especially if you're like, oh, does this person even want to do this? Yeah. I might have to reschedule.
Starting point is 01:26:00 So, Sean, thank you so much for joining us here on the podcast. Your new album, it is out as we speak? Or when is it coming out? You can pre-order it now. Okay. And then you'll actually get it on, it's available July 9th. July 9th. Check it out.
Starting point is 01:26:16 Sean is oh so funny. The album is Airports Animals. Oh, can I say the name of the website? Yes, absolutely. It's SeanDelin dot website. Sean Devlin dot website, except no substitutes. Um,
Starting point is 01:26:35 thank you. That's who you had the interview scheduled with. That's the blog. And you're stressed out about interviewing yourself. Um, well, thanks again, uh, for being our guest. Thank you out there for yourself. Well, thanks again for being our guest.
Starting point is 01:26:46 Thank you out there for listening. You know, take care of one another. Be brave. Be kind. Come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Audience supported.

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