Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 699 - Matt O'Brien

Episode Date: August 10, 2021

Comedian Matt O’Brien joins us to talk snowmobiles, Olympic horse riding, and Olympic running.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 699 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who I'm sure understands this is the 69 episode for 99, the Wayne Gretzky. So 69 for 99, Mr. Dave Schumke. I guess that's what I understand. I was just picturing, yeah, six two people 69 and then another guy oh yeah another guy just curled up on the side of the well 69ing i'm solid but maybe i'd like

to imagine it's wayne gresky maybe this is wayne gresky and mario lemieux yes yeah it was the uh it was the love affair that wasn't allowed to happen because they were on opposite teams yeah they were on the opposite teams the every league there's you know the nhl has 32 teams now montague's in the capulets but every team has an opposite does every like i i'm asking the wrong people but yeah for sure does every uh like zodiac sign have an opposite uh i know that every rose has its thorn is that something in the zodiac um i don't know i sorry i asked yeah i'm sorry also we're all sorry um our guest today first time guest here on the podcast a very funny comedian does hilarious work online and on twitter and

all this kind of stuff and it's great to have him here it's matt o'brien hi thank you god i can finally talk yeah i was waiting i didn't know i never know the etiquette for podcasts so yeah you can't talk you nailed it you actually shouldn't talk yet yeah Oh, yeah. Because we're going to play a video. Oh, no. It's kind of a retrospective. This is your life kind of thing. Shit. Well, thanks anyway. Well, I'll get out of here.

Thanks for coming. It's good to be here. Yeah. This is great. Thanks. It's been so long. This is great to be on this finally. Yes.

It's great to have you. It's been so long. Yeah. Never. You've never been on. It's been so long. Never. I've never done this. This is great to have you it's been so long yeah never you've never been on it's been so long never i've never done this this is great the longest amount of time um should we get to know us yes get to know us matt uh how are you you're a comedian originally hailing from here in canada

now living in LA. How was the last chunk of time from your whole life? You could take any part of it. Yeah, since you were last on the show,

never. How has everything been going? A misty day in March 1985 when I was born in the same hospital as Justin Bieber and Ryan Gosling

in London, Ontario. Wow. And were they there? Yeah, did they have a wedding dedicated to them? They were all, everyone. Wow. And were they there? Yeah, did they have a wedding dedicated to them? They were all, everyone was there. Were they 69ing? Everyone was 69ing. If you've ever been to London, Ontario,

it's disgusting, it's sick. It's everyone's, you're free to 69 wherever you want. I think that's fair. That's the town I grew up in. Where's London, Ontario? It's like an hour and a half south of Toronto. It's a city I've heard a million times, but I don't know anything about it. There's no reason to.

The junior team is called the Knights. Also, you used to, if not still, have a laser tag place downtown. Laser Quest. Yeah, Laser Quest. Down where the City Hall is and all that kind of stuff like down right downtown it might be in city hall i think i don't know i think that's where they meet um just a bunch of neon lights and kids shitting their pants yeah um that's where all the big decisions are made yeah and that's how they vote on uh different motions and whatnot

yeah yeah with laser and they're trying And they're trying to talk over Love, Inc. Oh, man. Love, Inc. That's a killer reference. Love, Inc. was the Canadian kind of like electronic pop band. Let's call them the Canadian Chemical Brothers. Plus one other person. With DJ Chris Shepard.

Yeah. Chris Shepard. He looked like he had the Mickey Mouse ears. Somehow. Yeah. He definitely got sued or they cut? Yeah. Chris Shepard. He looked like he had the Mickey Mouse ears. Somehow. Yeah. He definitely got sued or they cut them off. They cut them off. They cut those off.

Disney cut them off. And their hit song was You're a Superstar. Yeah. And Broken Bones. I got broken bones. Yeah. Not from the sticks and stones. But names that you call them.

I was thinking today about Sugar Jones. Oh, yeah. today about Sugar Jones. Oh yeah. Sugar Jones. That would sound very familiar. They had a song that was they were like the first when people started doing like American Idol

when American Idol came out and like there were other like making the band. It was just called like Popstar or something wasn't it? Yeah.

It was it was like this reality show star or something wasn't it yeah it was it was um it was like this reality show where they formed a girl group who hosted it was it let me let me think was it uh the lead from sugar ray was it mark mcgrath no no this was a canadian show oh okay then uh and sugar jones was just the name they came up with later like it had nothing to do with you don't have to come up with another sugar thing right yeah red green hosted it red green was the host we talked about duct tape all the time and everyone hated it i love that uh there's like a kind of a space below bc and alberta where they got the red green show and they didn't get that it was a parody of canada they just

thought like what it's just like a goofy guy yeah it's like our local news but like to be fair i think mr bean is britain yeah um so how have things been going i know it's been the weirdest time ever but uh how how are you doing what what's up down there um well we just got back a few months ago because we scuttled back to canada uh the beginning of the old pandemic yeah because it was one of those like things were getting really bad down here and we're like all right we're gonna let you guys figure it out go back up to canada for like a few weeks is what we said and we were in ottawa at julia's parents place for 10 months wow your your wife past guest julia ladkowitz yeah silent h silent h don't even think about the h how dare you even bring it up and you were the two you two of you while you were in

canada were you in a mccain super fries commercial we were yeah as a couple as a couple we booked a couple commercials because you're like an on-screen couple yeah it was cute as hell and uh they said you don't have to eat the fries we have a spit bucket for you and i said get that bucket out of my face, uh, is what I said to them. I'm going to eat every last crinkle cut piece. I ate every crinkly crackly. It was, um, it was nice.

Yeah. Because obviously they were like, we want couples because of, you know, the bubble. This is before vaccine and all that stuff. Oh, I didn't even put that together.

Yeah. So we, they, we booked a couple of those things, which was nice. What, um, you,

we've had, uh, you're our second McCain super fries guest fries guest yeah that's true uh we had the little boy jay from the 80s commercial no lines soc yeah but you know what it's best that way because he was very racist yeah uh no we had test egenstein who was in a few of them i think uh but uh i mean i just i just like that we're building up a roster of super fries yeah guess what other what other type of well i want to know what the the describe this super fries commercial because i remember it but i don't know if it had like a concept it was yeah it was like I pulled a burnt roast out of a stove and then it was disgusting.

But you pulled it out of the stove? Out of the oven. Sorry. Thank you. Leave this man alone. I pulled it out of the hot dry box that was in the kitchen. And, um,

and then, uh, we're looking at it's disgusting. And then Julia goes, I think I just want the fries. And then you drop your glass. You guys that oh yeah i know it's a crazy commercial i know it's overwhelming it's like uh it's like at a comedy club where you're like oh great okay is everybody okay is everybody okay no one yelled opa thank god oh god um yeah no this is a it was mostly empty yeah what do you guys have down here for like a

do you guys have towels or you know what's crazy i actually brushed my teeth for this like because i was like oh i gotta be on a podcast i don't want my breaths to stink i'm an idiot it's just it's just soda water but i still would feel better if it was cleaned up yeah yeah um you need to get a rag no i've got printer paper that's good that's good no that's fine okay we're good the napkin of nature um so you were in a mccain's one what other ads were you in i was in a molson canadian commercial that was just me um where i had to play a guy that knew nothing about hockey which is right on point i don't watch hockey at all what would you say is like one thing you know about hockey well you said it earlier when

we were talking uh wayne gretzky that's like it that's the guy and also also the fact that brett hull had a gt snow racer sled that's all i know that's true boy all the classics from the this podcast those are the two things yeah yeah yeah that's been uh we've talked about this many times uh did you ever have a gt yeah did you have one of course i did and i had a poster of brett hull and i put it on my wall and i'm like who is this guy i don't know who this guy is did you so you had one oh yeah yeah was it was it the best it was the best and it was like neon like it had the neon like pink you know fin thing and it was like super it was crazy but then i and in the back of my head i'm just like brett hull made like the hockey player made this i thought

he made it like he's ron pofield yeah like he created i was like wow he's a professional hockey player and he's making sleds like he really can do anything yeah and he's on this book i remember getting the poster as well because i also had a gg snow razor and i actually had them oh yeah yeah yeah i know were they pricey they seem i mean i did i maxed out my child credit card buying it yes but i also didn't have snow yeah here oh we got like one snow a year you could have got the gt mud racer yeah i should have it's just a cooking pan just you just ride that around the mud i uh yeah i think like i remember going to this the snow hill near my house and seeing people in old-timey like wooden toboggans and then having this like

this is the way of the future you punks move out of the way but they were they were probably faster than the gt snow racer just like yeah it definitely had it's like because it had brakes too and i remember the brakes would get stuck and what was it made out of well not a good plastic like old recycled ginger ale bottles or something but um i broke mine because i grew up uh on a farm and we had a snowmobile and i would tie it to the back of the snowmobile and i remember my dad gunned it and like ripped the front of it off i think i yelled brad hall as it broke brad hall save me brad i need a new fin did you uh did you ever drive the uh snowmobile i did yeah several times um the funniest time like what what how how old were you when you began i was like 10 like too young i think to drive one right um because they were like we trust you whatever because i wasn't like i wasn't getting into shit and also you can't

really go anywhere i was out in the middle of nowhere so they're like you're not going to drive and get beers or something you know there's no one around here. Like, so I would, I would just zip around the property. And I remember one time, uh, my dad,

I was riding on the back with my dad once. My dad's like an ex cop and he's like a tough guy. Right. And, and, uh, and I remember it, it broke down in the middle of this field and he's like trying to start it,

pull, start it. And he, he looked at the snowmobile and he goes, come on mama and i never heard him say anything like that in my life come on mama it's time that we told you this is your mom this is your real mom and your mom's your sister it was just it was burned in my memory i remember even at the moment i'm like this is gonna be burned in my brain for the rest of my life um what like did you do you have siblings

i've got two older sisters and did you tell them you're like dad called the snowmobile mama yeah i did i told everybody at the dinner table he's like yeah it wasn't it wasn't that bad it wasn't like that i didn't say it like that that bad. It wasn't like that. I didn't say it like that. I'm like, you said it like that. I'm young. I'm not lying. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I soak up information very quickly. Did you grow up on a farm your whole childhood into teenagehood? Yeah, basically until I was like 16, 17. So was it a farming family? was it so was the was it a farming family it was a dad was an ex-cop who who got you know busted down he's a farmer yeah he was a police a farm police farmer no um no it's just like a hobby farm so we just uh at the time i was like i don't understand are we farmers or not and my parents are like no no we just like this stuff like we just like having 30 goats and then six horses and i'm like that's a lot to maintain like i know i don't have a concept of

money but and was your dad like going back and forth being a cop and then and staying at the time he was not a cop he was he worked um security for the post canada post so he would catch like people doing mail fraud and stuff like that that was his job at the time oh like a detective detective yeah not like a guy standing out hey yo you keep it moving you mailing anything or what he's like there's no stamps on these envelopes beat it yeah assling kids yeah he's just standing at mailboxes being like what are you doing here no loitering yeah that's my dad um yeah the uh so then you moved from the farm into the big city or into london yes yeah for a couple years and it was a very complicated time because it was um we moved into london my parents were

separated for a bit my dad went to peterborough and then we went to peterborough and everything kind of went from there okay and i went and that's when i went from peterborough to oshawa ontario oh yeah how'd you get how'd you get on the oshawa express how did you go from peterborough to oshawa oh god well i just i this is like a trip through southern ontario i've seen it all it's just like really all the hot spots all the hot spots vaughn these are other places you may have visited literally have been like it's funny you say that i literally been everywhere in ontario like so much that i was in like i've been everywhere man burlington vaughn brampton brantford i remember i was outside uh i was in like halliburton which is in the middle of nowhere in a dairy queen and one of the fry cooks recognized

me like he was like like making cheeseburgers and he was like hey you're the comedian that was here last year oh my god i've been here too much i've been everywhere in this damn province we've been still talking about this show last show to happen here in this town one year ago today but yeah oshawa is where i went to college just because i had no idea what to do with myself i took journalism because i was like i don't know i like tv yeah you like something yeah you like uh you know uh colombo i was maybe sipowitz was happening back then do you know why i think i actually think i took journalism because of the movie anchorman it literally came out that year and i i was obsessed with it and i'm like that journalism's hilarious yeah that's it's it for me i'll spend 15 grand on that yeah but like because there was no maybe there is now

more of a path to being a comedian but there was no school i guess there was humber but i never heard of that before out west so there was just you just had to go into something adjacent to yeah i think most like if most comedians who went to college just kind of did like what you know this will make my parents happy while i yeah yeah yeah figure out what i want to do yeah my parents didn't care my parents were like yeah i was like i'm going to journalism school and they're like okay mama oh i mean oh boy oh geez but and then yeah came from journalism, luckily, because one of my professors is like, if you want to be more comfortable in front of the camera, try something like stand up or improv.

And I'm like, well, I'm not a fucking nerd. So I'm going to do stand up. Right. You know what I mean? Which I later realized is also a bigger type of nerd. Yes. Yeah. Just a different level of nerd.

A worse nerd. A worse nerd. Much worse. Terrible. Much more toxic nerd. Yeah. Just a different level of nerd. Or worse. Worse nerd. Much worse. Terrible, terrible career. Much more toxic nerd. Yeah, very bad. And so it was on that recommendation and then you just fell in love with it? Yeah, I tried it.

Obviously, classic, you know, super cheese ball. I was like, I did it and I really liked it. And then I interned at the time at MTV Canada. Oh, yeah? Nice. So I... What was on at that time? It was MTV Live. It was like darren jones was the host and like it was when like things were really popping off there like

i remember one of my first shifts there uh adele was the guest whoa and at the time no one knew who she was like i remember people in the office were like we just pulled this uh singer off of myspace like she had a little myspace we really liked her and they flew her in and they had to like they had to like beg people to come to see her live because no one knew who she was so i was in the audience for that it was so it was surreal i'm like i know i'm not getting paid but this is all right yeah this is was she a good singer it was amazing it was i was like why are not more people here this is very confusing that's also like because we're uh we're on channel you know 182 yeah um yeah it's weird like with somebody like adele i just assumed that she started around the time that she got famous i never thought that

there'd be like a whole decade or went to chip away well wasn't her first album 19 like it was named after her age I think so I don't know so she couldn't she only had so much time before that

14 so was was that before or was the the thing I remember most about MTV Canada was the Hills

and the Hills after show with Dan Levy and jess crookshank which i was on you were i was on the hills after show multiple times i love it what was what was your contribution well because i watched it i was like with my friends we watched it religiously and i was this was this had you already worked at mtv then i was working there yeah and i remember i was actually like working with the hills after show and i remember i would be like telling them facts about the show and they're like how the fuck do you know all this about the hills like who are you and so then i was like i love the show and they're like would

you want to be a guest on it because like there's no like straight guys that like this i was like yeah of course and i did it a couple times but after like the fourth time i remember the last time i did it i was like silent the whole time because i'm like i'm not supposed to be here this is like they didn't even give me a microphone i know it was funny the first time but now i'm just like yeah like i'm wearing like a backwards like blue jays hat and i'm just like yeah like i'm wearing like a backwards like blue jays hat i'm just like yeah yeah the dresses look nice like who was your favorite character um i mean audrina was just such a sleepy uh yeah it was just like all right it was just they were all so beautiful oh my god stunning you know who i loved whitney oh yeah

it was so boring but so pretty lauren's the leader yeah whitney was so boring but she was like she was so pretty they gave her her own show yeah okay but what was the show that she got i'm very unfamiliar she was on the city she was in the city oh right i stopped after the hills i was like boy which one was kelly katron on was kelly katron on just the city. Oh, right. I stopped after the hills. I was like, this is not for me. Boy, which one was Kelly Catron on? Was Kelly Catron on Just the City or was she on both? I think she was on Just the City. Oh, God. Here's what I remember.

Okay. Wait, wait. Before you go on, is this where Spencer Pratt came from? Yes. Okay. Yes. Well, he had originally been on Princes of Malibu with- Well, I know that.

Oh, my God. You should have been on the hills after and he was and where and they were like the brats who were um tormenting uh brody jenner's stepfather uh david foster spencer pratt uh tweeted at me once because i have a bit on just for laughs about how i don't know any adults named spencer like i like I've never met like an adult named Spencer in my life. And then I started making fun of Spencer's in the bit. And then I guess he saw it and he tweeted at me. He's like, who are you, clown?

Like he called me a clown. I was just Googling my name. Yeah, just my first name. I have a Google Alert set up for my first name. Yes, to see what. Well, I have a, my doctor's name is Brad and he's like 70 probably now, and I think he's the world's oldest Brad.

That's an old Brad. Yeah. But I think I can more conceive of an adult named Brad than I can of, like you say, Spencer is... It's like a shitty kid. Again, I don't think I've met somebody named Spencer either. Yeah, I've only known shitty kids to be Spencer. That's how I picture them. St only known shitty kids to be spencer that's how i

picture them sticky shitty kids in a grocery store i got a uh for for mother's day once i got spencer pratt to do a um do a cameo for my wife oh my god did he really lean into it or was he like yeah he really leaned into it he was he's into like crystals and like crystals uh so he was like yeah blessing my family he's got the names wrong but it's fine did uh he what was the woman he dated on the show or married i guess heidi yeah okay yeah they married yeah they're still together yeah she had the straightest hair she did yeah it's i know it's not okay to comment on people's appearances anymore but it's a reflex from straight 2006 yeah uh anyway so whitney port uh she had a show called the city yeah where she worked in fashion uh and one of the people she worked with was kelly katrone yes her memoir is called If You Need to Cry, Go Outside or whatever.

I'll give you something to cry about. I'll go outside. But she, there was one episode where they, they were going to, this was in New York, and they were going to have, someone was coming to wear the clothes. Like, oh, yeah, a celebrity is coming in to try on these clothes. And it's the Canadian singer Lights. Oh, yeah. Ah. But she will be here with her manager, Gian Gomeschi.

Oh, no. Disgraced manager, Gian Gomeschi. Oh, no. Disgraced radio host, Gian Gomeschi, who wasn't disgraced at the time. But was, you know, somewhat disgraced. He was in Moxie Fruits. He had been in Moxie Fruits. But he, she said, yeah, he's coming in. He's kind of like the Canadian Ryan Seacrest. Oh, my God. Agreed. uh she said yeah he's coming in he's kind of like the canadian ryan seacrest oh my great

so later like a couple years later when i was working at cbc music i uh made this chart i was like this is like just a piece of content for people to try to share and it was like the canadian equivalent and it was like uh the juno awards are the canadian grammys the like much music is canadian mtv gian gomeshi is canadian ryan seacrest yeah and gian gomeshi worked at cbc at the time and saw this and got very mad you didn't get that i had seen that episode of that show and tried to get it taken down wow yeah the um i was on twitter the other day you know how it like recommends people that you might want to follow and i one of them was a guy that i i was like why do i know this guy's name so much but i've never heard of him was uh is michael dunkelman uh brian dunkelman brian

dunkelman yeah why do i almost know this guy yeah but i didn't i couldn't figure out where it was and then it like took me like an hour to untie that it was from uh season one of american idol yeah one of my first one of my first shows in la when i moved here brian dunkelman showed up and a spot or to do a spot. You just stand up around town. And I mean, my wife were there. We're like,

is that Brian Dunkelman? Like I could see, I recognize that guy from a mile away, you know? And, uh, he goes on stage and he's like, his first thing he goes,

I'm not dead. I'm alive. He's like, I wish I was dead. I never saw, I never watched American Idol at all but he was it had two hosts and did they do was it equal like uh don't come and get dumped because they're like seacrest is the main event here yeah seacrest but like seacrest is so forgettable like yeah

but he's just a machine yes yeah exactly i I read a piece on him from Rolling Stone where they followed him around for one day. And he had like 40 things to do in the day and 15 of which were done by 7 a.m. Yeah. He was just exactly what you say. He's just a machine. But like a machine that does what? You know what I mean? Who built you?

There's a style of person it's funny i was just did i was talking with a photographer who's apparently dolly parton's photographer i was hanging out with this past weekend and she was like dolly gets up every day at 4 a.m every single day she she sleeps like from like seven until four and then she's up and she does a million things by like nine she's done she's like almost done her day like by 9 a.m she's like done almost everything so it's like and i read that about rupaul too like it's like they they wake up at 4 a.m 4 a.m is the time apparently i've heard that about duane johnson uh he's playing the rock johnson well he's the rock from 4 a.m to 9 a.m no but like like he wakes up and just exercises and you know he probably eats more cod before

5 a.m than i do in a month morning god oh god um yeah i uh like it does sound like the habit of a very successful person halibut yeah yeah thank you um yeah uh anyways have you been up at four in the morning yeah yeah you're in you're an insomniac what you i don't feel compelled to work at four in the morning. I'm like, that's not work time. This is like, let's sneak a little bit of television. Yeah. But like exercise, I guess. Nah. Yeah, if you went for a run, you'd like definitely get skunked. Yeah, get skunked and then have to come home, take a shower at 5 a.m.,

take another one at 6 a.m., sit in a bath full of tomato sauce for the rest of the day there's definitely a vibe at 4am I've gotten up to pee at 4am and peeked out the window and I'm like I'm not supposed to be out there no one's supposed to be out there at 4am Dolly Parton's in the alley skipping rope

yeah hey y'all I'm not supposed to be there yeah what is she I guess they're just doing I'm not supposed to be there. Yeah. What does she do? Boy, I like, I,

I guess they're just doing. Yeah. Exercise or taxes. I don't know. Like indoor stuff. Like no one's going out and like, uh, yeah,

I just had a, uh, you know, a coffee meeting with Dolly Parton and Dwayne Johnson at a 4 30 AM a.m. coffee meeting at the all-night Denny's. And I didn't know that Denny's served cod, but they brought it out. They had some in the back. Yeah, you do like a fish,

you know, you do like a fish and chips. Can you do that with no batter and just bring, and can you just bake it? Thank you. Bake it in the stove. I didn't know, is fish, fish, we're not, no one's eating fish for breakfast, right?

Like, that's... Dwayne Johnson might. Yeah, he might. That's all he eats. I was at a diner the other day and it said one of the options was fish and four eggs. I was hungover at the time. I'm like, I almost want to leave the building. Is that like a keto thing

or something? It was in Vegas, so it's like anything goes there you know what i mean that's the point where i was like this town's crazy what were you in vegas for my wife and i we just wanted to go we just have friends there that live there and we were up in wine country for a thing listen we had the first we had a giant we don't have kids week like it was like we went from sonoma wine country right to Vegas and then just, just to have a good time. And then,

and then we came back. Like there was, but every week is that we don't have kids. I know, but that especially, like we felt it. We're like, Oh my God,

we really have no responsibilities. We can just up and do something like this. Cause my wife and I, we have two kids. Um, I'll wait for the applause to die down. But we, so we have had no break from our kids the entire pandemic. Except for school.

Yeah. Which thankfully has been open during the entire pandemic. But we were going, it's our 10-year anniversary this weekend and we are leaving the kids at the grandparents and just like i'm like literally my plan is i hope it rains so i can just have a quiet weekend of watching tv rain in vancouver we haven't had rain in a month and a half really haven't had a drop of rain uh but uh yeah so um yeah that's what life without kids for me would be like is like oh i can you know binge something yeah like everyone else has been talking about what they've been doing this entire pandemic um

yes catch that ted lasso everybody's talking about yeah i tried i tried it that's what i get yelled at me uh mostly from cars that passed i'm getting a lot of ted lasso because the mustache tried ted lasso ted lasso can you believe us did you get past this uh did you stay at like a very vegasy hotel or did you stay off the strip or what was the plan we uh we stayed with friends a couple days but then we stayed the palazzo uh for a night which was friends in vegas yeah a couple of our friends one of them used to be rita rita rudner it's rita rudner it's celine dion have you heard of her uh she has a helicopter um they're canadian canadian writers and comics actually that live

there and because you can rent a house so cheap down there you can rent like a four-bedroom house for like 800 bucks like it's nothing to oh wow down there but we stayed in the plaza one night and the second we checked in we're like oh my god i don't know it might be too early for this i don't know because it was a little like it was before the mask mandate in vegas re-kicked in that night at midnight so it was like no one was like a non-stop party till midnight it was well it was but then when midnight kicked like we were at this this dueling piano bar and the pianist she was like ah she's like hey everyone just by the way you got to wear masks in like an hour and then everyone started booing and like they're all from like texas there was like cowboy hats were flying in there they're like i'm not putting any fucking masks on one guy grabbed a stack of masks that

was on the bar and threw them in the garbage and then started booing at the piano player and i'm like stop booing the piano players she's not making this like the messenger but then she said it and then the guy threw the mask in the garbage and then she started playing pretty fly for a white guy by offspring on the piano i was like i fucking love this town i love it here it's so fun uh you can smoke anywhere in vegas you can yes how do you do that in a mask uh Are they like, some people had slits. I'm not, they had like little, like,

um, like tidy whiteys flaps. Wow. Like, so they could put their straws through the flaps or also smoke cigarettes through the flap. I feel like there's gotta be, yeah,

it's, they must be like, yeah, you have to wear a mask at all times, except when you're chain smoking. Oh yeah. 90% of the time i mean trust me a lot of people were just not wearing masks so i mean it's like that's it was a real hodgepodge

of society so they were like what was the crowd out on the street was a lot of elderly people or was it bachelorette country or it was everybody it was absolutely everybody and like yeah the oldest looking people that are like, I would see them and be like, okay, they're not scared. Should I be scared? Like, it's always in the back of your mind. It's like, it was fun, but it was like the back of my head. I'm like, oh God, should I be doing this?

Oh shit. And then there was like a huge like Trump parade that went down the strip and they had all their flags and stuff. And I'm like, I don't know. We should get out of here that's like the disney parade that happens every hour on the hour they have a trump parade in vegas i think it's cool i like it yeah it sounds cool um did you take any any like shows

in vegas we saw a drag show because we watched Drag Race a lot. So we went to it. I hear RuPaul gets up at like four in the morning. Yeah. It's incredible. It's insane. Pushups and cod until seven. Yeah. We went to a show called Fabulous with three A's because we knew one of the drag queens on it.

And then after the show, which was amazing, we went back to the drag queen's house and had and then after the show which was amazing we went back to the drag queen's house and had a bunch of vodka oh you know you knew that yeah it was uh it was really funny it was it was the drag queen's name is ed and uh they used to host zoomanity in vegas but now they they have this drag show wow but it was uh yeah they're dating um there's another show called puppetry of the penis have you heard yes yes yeah very familiar julia used to open for it because they have a female comedian open the show a lot so she would go up to uh to open for it every now and then so one of the puppetry of penises of the penis guys was there as well it was quite quite the um quite the crew yeah yeah i've actually got a show called Carpentry of the Anus.

Is that worth anything? Is that worth your ass? Yeah. Just putting nails in my ass. It's terrible. I got buzzed four X's on America's Got Talent. The fastest ever rejected America's Got Talent. With a hammer in your butt.

Yeah. Nick Cannon told me I should be ashamed of myself. Well, that sounds like a really fun excursion. I mean, except the like mask craziness, but. Yeah, it was fun. Yeah, it was. It was. I'm like, this is, I think, you know, we're almost getting there. But it was fun yeah it was it was i'm like this is i think you know we're almost

getting there um but it was it's just weird everything's just so weird and everything's like extra dirty too which which you're the more i travel during all this the more you really see the the lack of workers in places which is it's not the workers fault it's just you know obviously the minimum wage kind of thing but it's like oh god there's just a different vibe out there it's not the worker's fault it's just you know obviously the minimum wage kind of thing but it's like oh god there's just a different vibe out there it's it's weird yeah do you like being like within driving distance of a desert i do that's what i thought was always kind of an attraction of living in la it's funny that's the first thing i said when i moved down here and everyone's like who cares what are you talking about but i'm just like i thought it was because

i used to watch like westerns as a kid and stuff like that i still do and i'm just like i was deserts are so cool they're just so cool yeah neat like we drove through utah on our way back and it was actually like giant you know mountains and cliffs and like tumbleweeds like i call out tumbleweeds when i see them and there's like honey another tumbleweed take a picture looks like from the movies it's tumbling i mean i would be amazed if i saw a tumbleweed it's like a movie prop yeah it's it's a cool place i like desert do you get a did you get a gt sand racer can you imagine just sponsored by some soccer player i've never heard of yeah some kind of uh you know uh lizard sponsored by rango but yeah i always thought that was kind of like a cool because then you have like you're

close to the ocean and then on the other side you're just close to the desert it's like america has all the different climates in it it's everything yeah it's everything it's got it all it's like did you ever play that uh snowboard game for your original nintendo where you start out on a mountain and then but when you get to the end of the the level you're in a beach that's what living here is like i forget the name of that game but i think about it daily yeah um we had a uh we had, I had a poster on my wall when I was a kid. It was a guy skiing on a snowy mountain,

but there were waves crashing onto it. It was, I think I, when I, when my brother moved out, I got all his old posters. Did it say like

cooperation or something on it? Absolutely. Watch as the ocean cooperates with the mountain. So those who say it can't be done are usually interrupted by others doing it yes that's i think it meant others like doing it stop interrupting me yeah yeah yeah i need to sleep it's 4 a.m for god's sake um and uh so like that i i wanted to tell you um i don't know where graham's going with it uh yeah i just wanted to say the the so like one of the favorite my favorite things i've seen during this whole pandemic is a video you posted uh on your twitter maybe other places i

only follow you on twitter i'm not even sure i follow you maybe it was retweeted this is good keep going but it was when you uh hijacked your neighbor's uh speaker yes your neighbor had been playing very loud music yes and you uh you you you made a song and then hijacked your neighbor's speaker and and played the song on your neighbor's speaker on bluetooth yes and this is amazing that did you see this no no it really popped off on tiktok i remember i hate i hate tiktok so much but i it don't say that tiktok's listening my phone's my phone's not in this room it's fine um but it got some notice on twitter that video and then on tiktok it like went viral where it got like 15 million views and like i was getting holy shit uh emails from like i'm still getting emails from like news agencies like around the world like it's being featured in taiwan this week apparently

that video wow and i get messages from people all the time like it's still going the craziest part about that i'm glad you like it it's completely fake it's 100 fake yeah it's yeah and i've told i'm at the point where i'm telling people because i'm just like i literally was wondering if i could edit sound to make it sound like it's coming from another room and i just made it really quick and then posted it i'm like no one's going to believe this but i guess it was believable but i mean it's believable enough that i was wondering is this fake exactly yeah it's um but it's it's at the point mostly because the song you made goes turn your fucking music down music down music down turn your fucking music down your music fucking sucks is that yeah pretty close yeah yeah i also made one for sex now you're having sex too

loud sex too loud sex too. I didn't see that. But it was more like, it sounded real. The least believable part was like, oh no, you're going to be in trouble with your neighbor. I'd be so scared of my neighbors. Well, everyone was like, well, how did the neighbor react? Get that video. And I'm like, I was going to make something stupid and fake, Julia in like a goatee or something or like something very dumb. But yeah, I'm just keeping it where it is.

But and I keep telling people it's fake, too. And then they're like, no, it isn't. Like, it's just like so they want to believe it so bad. They're like, no, no. Tell us what the neighbor really said. I'm like, there's no neighbor. There's no it's not real at all. You make some very, funny uh visual content and i don't like i don't you just put it online or do you do you have like a compilation of them somewhere where people like a youtube

channel or yeah i got really just youtube.com slash matt o'brien just my name i don't know how i snagged that but i i post all my all my videos there. Um, yeah, I just, I just haven't been making them for years just cause, um, I don't know what to do with my time during the day. And I just, and I remember like an agent early in my career is like, you gotta make content. Like everyone's always like make content. And I was like, was that agent Paul Giamatti? It was, you gotta make it.

Kiss my forehead. But, and then I literally like took it very literal and I was like, yes, I will make content. Okay, good. And then I just, that was like 10 years ago and I've just have been trying to perfect it and hone it in, so. Well, you've perfected it. It's perfect.

Content the perfect way with Matt O'Brien. I'm done. That's it it you're watching content today um yeah you did a video a couple weeks ago where you're like like your different words are appearing on your hands and you're like doing this like positivity thing and then a bunch of uh bats with the word come in the middle started attacking you yeah yeah those are crow wings i wanted them to be crows actually um so no one got that part but um yeah you got to give people what they enjoy and i made it and people like the word come come is funny we love it come is funny and it's um yeah it's it's funny when i film stuff like that and my wife

will just watch me from a window just be like what the hell are you doing making a come video honey different company i'm not gonna come but the world you have windows in your apartment yeah like between rooms yeah well these were filmed outside oh i see i see fine fine and you and your wife do the occasional like scene from fraser yeah if we got time if you want to spice it up i was wondering how you got that fraser wig and then i realized this week when i saw the video that is a bald wig with hair just stuck on the back of it yeah barely there it's just dangling off the back of a bald wig or bald cap um yeah that was is kelsey kramer bald or did he just play a balding man for he's but he was balding for

like 25 years yeah it was like long on the sides and like it was so it was like so long on the sides that you're like i don't care what's going on top you know what i mean it's just like yeah this is the big show down here. Don't worry about it. That was the beginning of the pandemic. I literally jokingly tweeted. I was like, if this quarantine goes any longer, my wife and I are going to reenact scenes from Frasier. And then enough people were like, just do it.

Who cares? And I'm like, okay, we'll do it for a week. And then it went on. And she can play Daphne. She can play the dad. She can play Niles. It was the greatest character reel for Julia really what's your favorite scene ever from Frasier it's it's got to be the high uh when when Martin's high

when Martin accidentally gets high and Niles thinks that's Roseanne you're thinking of an that's Roseanne that's when Roseanne went to Vegas you're right and then met the cast of friends um yeah no it was it was definitely that one or what's another one that we've done i was thinking about the time and i was trying to piece together in my head i just remember they were trying they were like naming types of of like warships yeah yeah and they couldn't remember which one was a frigate oh yeah it was like you could tell they worked backwards to write this scene because it just ends with like they're saying like well what is a frigate and martin gets up and says it's what you just don't care anymore but but it was like in my mind

i'm like are they playing battleship in this scene like what and are like is our our niles and and fraser experts in even like military boats like everything yeah they know everything like they know like arias and like military strategy but they don't know sports they got no sports knowledge i was gonna say that's the unless it's like cricket or like a polo or something yes yeah the sports of kings and others we went to the park the other day and people were playing cricket yeah and it was like they needed so much of the field yeah yeah like they had they had pylons all like in a giant circle and the kid we were with the kids and they're like how what's that game how do you play it and we're like we have no idea no one knows there's a ball and some posts and everyone's got big everyone's dressed very nicely

yeah and is there is it is there like a intermission that they call t like a t interval yeah t interval is that and they have cucumber sandwiches well that sounds nice it does sound really nice more sports should have a break yeah or like with pump cheese on top or just like pump cucumber like body wash on top get your cricket witch uh dave what's been going on with you well we Well, we're in week two of the Olympics. And my favorite thing that has emerged, like normally I would talk about my own life. And I'd save a news story for when we do.

Graham and I do a bonus episodes for donors. Two a month. Donate. Maximumfund.org join uh uh but uh i saw this story and i was like this can't wait this can't wait another month uh because um what's what's your favorite story that's emerged from the olympics uh it was just like, it was yesterday, there was a women's 5,000 thing, and one of the women fell. That would be a good name for a band, women's 5,000. Yeah, women's 5,000.

And one of them fell down and, like, got kind of trampled on, which sometimes happens in that sport. And she got up and ran to the front of the pack and won the gold. Even though she had, like, fallen down and had missed this huge amount of time, she like caught up and then beat the front runner and gold medal for her. I saw, this isn't what I was going to talk about. My other thing was this Canadian diver who messed up and just like, you know, she was going to jump off the bouncy board the springboard like three times and then

like screwed up one of the bounces and it was just like oh fuck it and just jumped in feet first i love it because that's what i would have done that makes them the most relatable olympian i mean absolutely how do you score that yeah and like why like, why was I in the Olympics in the first place? If that's what I was going to do and everybody knew that. Have you been watching Matt? I dabbled. It's, I watched the horse dancing the other day. Oh yeah.

Dressage. Oh, sorry. I'm so sorry. Jeez. And I was, it's just like trying to figure out the rules. It's like,

I guess it's, it's exciting if they get closer to the walls. it's just like trying to figure out the rules it's like the i guess it's it's exciting if they get closer to the walls that's just something i was like what is exciting about this and also how much control does this rider have and also it's it's it was just it was just a very confusing time anything with horses you're like who's who's the real hero here you know yeah there was um so i was watching the the story i was, and I watched a little bit of it yesterday, about the horse jumping, like where they go around the course and jump over the jumps. And all the, apparently this is a thing that only happens in the Olympics. These people and these horses are doing this like all the time. They're, I guess there's a circuit where they're flying their horses around

the world to like compete in different countries but during the olympics all the gates are like decorated they make it like a spectacle uh so all the like jumps have like decorations on them and this year there's like a bunch of japanese all every horse jump has like uh you know uh cherry blossoms or like um uh like these these japanese masks or other japanese stuff on it and there was one jump that has a like a sculpture of a sumo wrestler that's like very realistic and very scary looking and it's apparently scaring the horses that's so stupid i think you're gonna say fire or something covered in bees or something or like something but a giant sumo wrestler yeah no it's a real like life-size looks like a real guy like six foot tall sumo wrestler in it who's like intense looking well that's because yeah the

horse is trained it's like i like humans i'm not supposed to jump near them what and this was trying to fight me yeah this one's angry at me so yeah he's big you're right though like it like there would never be like f1 racing in the olympics because it's like what's doing who's the hero here should the car get a giant medal it's um i uh yeah it's like it because i i saw that there were like 73 horses competing in this event and i thought wow they flew all these horses in. They probably all had to quarantine for two weeks. Yeah. Well, a friend of mine, the guy I stayed with in Vegas,

he used to write for the Olympics for CBC. And he was at the last Summer Olympics. And he's like, the horse people are the first people to get there because the horses have to acclimate. And everyone, like, they're more worried about the horses than they are the people athletes. They're like, the the horses have to acclimate and everyone like they're more worried about the horses than they are the people athletes they're like horses in there they gotta they gotta chill out like yeah give this horse an edible yeah um the uh yeah like it occurred to me that like so these horses like they flew 73 horses in for this one, like literally two minute event.

Not even. I'm going to go on a tour of Japan while they're there. It's going to be the big horse tour. But are these, is there like a circuit like there is with like, like F1 racing where, you know, the horses go to different countries? Are these horses flying all the time? First class. What would you like in your feed bag the uh uh when i grew up in calgary there was a place just south of calgary called canyon meadows

and they they did that stuff uh in the spring and, like dressage horse jumping things. So I think it is, it's like, cause it's big in England, right? Like the horses are great. People love horses everywhere. That's true. Never dressaging though.

Like I, cause I grew up with horses and the biggest thing around us was barrel racing. Barrel racing was like the shit. That's as, that's as much as you do with a horse. Was that jumping over a barrel? You just literally like figure eight around two barrels and everyone goes crazy and then sometimes they

have a side event called mutton busting where a kid uh rides a sheep like a rodeo yes it's hilarious and all i dreamed of being a mutton buster and they wear like a hockey helmet yeah yeah they're you know they're dressed up they're fine but uh you secretly hope they get hurt yeah i'm team mutton all the way i'm team sheep yeah um so uh you've been watching a lot of olympics yeah that's it that's it i've been watching a lot of the olympics what do you want from me i don't know but i will tell you this what i've been up to today is the by the way today is the 10-year anniversary i said we're having our wedding anniversary in a couple days uh today's the 10-year anniversary of the murder that happened on the island right

before my wedding right oh yeah that's congrats like while every while we were there the murderer was still at large right uh no not while you were there oh because i solved the crime that's right i forgot but but there was two nights before the three nights before the wedding i was asleep and uh where it's like a tiny island there's like a couple thousand people who live there and uh it was like 10 o'clock 11 o'clock i was asleep and abby comes into the bedroom and says dave wake up there's a murderer loose on the island oh my god and it was like before it was 2011 so it wasn't you know ancient times but you couldn't like

follow along on the internet or anything it was just a lot of like well i guess we're sleeping with a knife next to the bed yeah yeah yeah make sure to like and comment on this murderer's uh rampage wait how far away was the murder was it like an uncomfortable amount of closeness to a wedding i mean it was the none of the wedding people were there yet it was just i was staying at my wife's parents place on the island uh but yeah it was i mean like you could get anywhere on that island yeah you weren't slow dancing over a chalk outline no no but it was it was on i think i it was on the other side of the island from where the wedding was but not on the other side from where we were that night. So it was like, you know,

there's a lot of nooks and crannies on that island that the guy could have hidden. And they found him like, you know, 5 a.m. the next day, 4 a.m. the rock found him. Dolly Parton and the rock were out solving crimes. Everyone was up, yeah. Do you have any unusual circumstances in your wedding, Matt? No, we had a real tiny guy it was uh it was just

like family it was in julia's uh parents place in ottawa we didn't want anything too crazy at the time um what happened nothing crazy happened seriously it was just like a lovely little just a nice wedding quiet there wasn't enough people to be like oh my god uncle brian got so fucked up uncle spencer's done it again it's like yeah it wasn't it wasn't enough people so we're gonna have a bigger wedding soon oh really how long have you been married we've been married four five five years yeah you're never having that no don't say that but when we were in vegas we're like oh my god when everything pans out we want to have like a like a dirty old vegas wedding and then like fly a bunch of people everyone gets a few weddings yeah yeah you have a couple of

weddings get them out of your system um but yeah nothing i wish i had a good oh my god something ruined my wedding story but i i was talking to someone today they told a story about how uh the bride's uncle was at the wedding and was just like um showed up at the wedding and was kind of like stealing focus like had to be shut down in a bit of a during a speech and then later during the dancing portion uh just like the dj was playing music and he went up and got a microphone this uncle pulled out a harmonica and started playing harmonica along to like oh my god crazy and love that rules i will say i was at i was at one of uh julia's cousin's weddings and everyone's doing speeches and everything and then all of a sudden this really loud guy gets on the mic and it's the drummer for the bare naked ladies i guess yeah i guess he's

like friends of the family but he was like everyone had like really like nice like oh it's beautiful i'm so happy for you and he gets up and he's like how the fuck are you everyone and it was three four and we never really knew it was uh it was intense it was like the most intense uh quiet to loud i've ever experienced yeah i was at a wedding once where it was just as the switch over between a dj having to have so many cds into the ipod era so it was like in between and this guy was still a cd man and uh he couldn't find the cd that had the first dance song so he just played a different song by the same oh my god uh and i know like i because i saw the bride say this isn't the right song and then it was never like because he couldn't find that cd yeah someone's gotta sing it at that point you gotta

just into a traffic cone sorry pylon everyone says traffic cone down here and i've gotten used to it pylon is the right phrase pylons right traffic cone is there are they've gotten used to it. Pylon is the right phrase. Pylon's right. Traffic cone. Are they, well, are they called pylons? Cause you can pile them on top of each other.

That's what I, that's what I want to say, you know, but they're spelled P Y L O N. Pylon. Yeah, that's true. Yes.

Which has nothing to do, like you would think it would be pile on. I remember being on a film set when I was like a PA, when I was first, first, uh, here in Vancouver and they made us pick up all the pylons at the end of the day and like one pylon is fine you could kick it around but like 15 pylons is so fucking heavy and i was just like this is not the career path for me if i have to carry this one more time and then there's the ones that have like the black

base and the the like uh the like rod in the middle yeah the orange rod that can't be piled upon each other no no just the wangs you gotta jostle about and those are jocelyn wang jocelyn they call them jocelyn wangs in the traffic community oh my blah um they're like new yorker has one where they put over like manholes and there's just like steam coming out of a pile yeah the big bong ones yeah yeah yeah bong wings did you work on roads as a kid it sounds like yeah down i've seen um i used to like when they're doing road work I've seen a lot of road work this summer I used to think oh it's cool like the people who hold up the sign

the stop sign and the slow sign the flaggers that might be the only job where you're still allowed to smoke while you work that's the last one I think and the more I see of them I think oh that might be the only job where you're required to smoke

i've never seen anyone not smoking doing that job my dad always we used to drive past those guys and my dad would always say every single time he goes you know how much they're making for that they're making so much money like you wouldn't believe and i still believe that every time i see them i'm like i assume i i think they're making a lot of money but i think he meant in terms of like movement and action they're making yeah yeah yeah really like sometimes they'll hold up a sign that says slow and then sometimes they'll you know use a hand motion being like really i'm serious so what's up with you graham uh nothing okay i've been you know we're recording again tomorrow right yes i know and i'm gonna have to go like catch a murderer in the meantime i uh no i've been

watching same as you i the first week of olympics i dabbled now i'm insane for it that's all i'm watching i don't want to watch any other goddamn thing yeah um yeah it's all uh olympics all the time what's your favorite thing to watch i was like watching this men's 10 000 meter race i thought that was amazing because they clumped together and they look like a crazy cartoon centipede that is is it all around the track it's not like through the city it It's not like the marathon. No, just around the track. And it's like. And people are lapping each other over 10,000. Yes. Yeah.

Lapping several people. It's like 25 laps. 25 laps. And there's people who like are like rabbits, right? They call them rabbits and they're like, they just set the pace and they're not intended to win or lose. Like they're just. Oh yeah, maybe.

Because they're like from, there's lose like they're just oh yeah maybe because they're like from there's several of them from the same country so maybe they're like you're the rabbit and then this guy's gonna win i always thought that would suck to go to the olympics and be like your job is to not win yeah but i would know if i got there i'd be like i don't know how i qualified but for sure my job is to lose i'm being sacrificed by canada um but i watch like i watch it doesn't matter what it is i'll watch it so if it's beach volleyball i'm into it if it's diving i want to see it if it's bmx bmx is in that olympics now um skateboarding i love the skateboarding yeah um as a horny man i uh you know you think i'd like the beach volleyball. I like the indoor volleyball.

But, like, the indoor volleyball, after every point they make, they scream in each other's faces. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And one thing about sports that didn't exist when I was a kid and you played sports is even if you screw up, you still high-five your partner. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That definitely didn't exist the opposite you were punished harshly for yeah you were ostracized minute by minute

um but like there's a new there's like a one one person rowing like a canoe race and uh like i when i was watching i always try and predict just by the lineup when they show the individual people, I'm like, that person's going to win. Um, but I was, I was so wrong.

I guess that this German woman who has built like a tank, I was like, well, she's, she's going to, it didn't even qualify coming forth. So don't judge a German by its muscles. That's right.

I, yes, absolutely. The like rowing and kayaking ones i'm always i don't know how they steer is there like something in the feet to steer like i i don't know have you ever tried trying to like kayak in forward well like the the kayak people that i saw they were were all lined up at the line. So I don't know how you keep your kayak from just drifting across the line into a steamboat or something like that. When I was in college, in the dorms, there was a guy. I don't know if he was ever on the Canadian kayak team, but he was a competitive kayaker. But he was definitely on the university kayak team. Yeah, that's a thing. But I think he was like an olympic hopeful yeah and he's like the most muscular man i've ever

seen in my life yeah it's weird that like when you're watching a race and somebody gets lapped and they're finishing dead last you're like that's still like everybody i've ever met would not be that good of a runner as this guy like it's even even lots of runners that just never made the olympics this guy's still better than them um so i find i find the olympics humbling like do you ever get like think what if i started young enough what event would i be able to compete in as a an athlete matt that question is for you okay yeah for me yeah gt snow racing i always thought running i really like running like i got into it as an adult recently oh really shit i wish i did it growing up i remember i was on track and field in high school and i did like the 5 000

i think run and i remember i was on the track and i got stage fright like there was a huge crowd of kids oh wow and i had like an anxiety attack so i'm like i can run alone but when there's people watching and there's like pressure like i freaked the fuck out and i i wound up last like dead dog dick last wow and it was so embarrassing i just never did it again i was like like but i would run privately but i'm like i wonder what would happen if i got over that and then what would happen because i really like it now but what do you do you do a track do you do a road what do you do i do roads neighborhoods um sometimes you go to the beach just before i am uh not before i am it's me and dolly down in santa monica um but i ran the la marathon right before covid kicked in really you ran a marathon i ran it i would never ever do it again but it was a nightmare

um but it was the week of like oh i think this disease is in uh north america and on the track i ran through all of la ran from dodger stadium down to the beach and there was people with signs saying like run like coronavirus is behind you and like they were dressed like death and like saying like run like coronavirus is behind you and like they were dressed like death and like all the all the race people were like uh space out if you could space out while you're running like don't touch each other and there's like 27 000 people and i'm like well whatever this disease is i'm sure i got it because we're all sweating and coughing on each other yeah like why were you all coughing on it it's a marathon um did you uh was it like did you train for it i did but not enough i ran like half marathons a bunch because i'm like oh you i

wanted i was like i think you saved the full one for the big the big one you don't want to blow your load your run load a lot of people show up with loads floating there they do say never come full of load i hate that i'm saying load so much um but yeah i did for like over a year i would i like really trained a lot and then it was the one once i hit the half marathon mark i remember i was running through beverly hills and i could feel my knees and like hear them grinding. Like it was like the worst feeling in the world. And, um, yeah,

I never do it again. I would never do it again. Half, half marathon. I think it's like, it's not, it's unnecessary. People were like falling on,

like on the wayside, literally like collapsing near the finish line. Like it was like, this is a nightmare. Like, yeah. Cause I remember like, there's a is a nightmare like yeah because i remember like there's a gif that goes around of uh a marathoner like their legs going like wobbly like nails and

they barely make it across the line but that person like suffered some sort of mental impact of running this marathon like it wasn't oh no i'm being gif yeah that's the mental impact if someone makes a gif of you that's what he's yelling as he's falling don't gif me do you remember that there's an episode of seinfeld where kramer is supposed to do the aids walk yeah yeah and it's like uh you know he stays up all night and jerry's like you got the aids walk in the morning yeah and i always thought that was like who cares it's just like a uh like a charity you know, he stays up all night and Jerry's like, you got the AIDS walk in the morning. Yeah. And I always thought

that was like, who cares? It's just like a, like a charity walk. They make it seem like he's like running around. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. They never added up. That's one Seinfeld that never added up. Fine. Yeah. I don't know. That's when I lost it

for the show. The walking. I don't know about that. Yeah. The, but like, what, like, what was it like at like whatever uh the halfway point were you like oh shit this is all i've ever done like i don't have i've got to do double what i just did yeah because while i hit the halfway point first of all it was

like the starting line i'm like okay i think i got this and then i saw so many people in bare feet no shoes because that's like a new minimalist way of running and i remember being like holy shit i'm i don't know if i could do this you're running in bare feet and i saw those same guys like blast past me like just running also in the streets of la i'm like your feet are covered in needles right now like yeah that's what i like where is this that they're wearing no shoes like out in the the country or something not in the city they're not right city yeah it's like downtown la like and they clear the track i'm pretty sure barely barely and i remember i remember so after the halfway point i remember being like because i was being super cautious because of covid i was like i don't want to touch anything, blah, blah, blah. But then I was so desperate. People were handing me bananas and like tacos and like, just like anything. I was like, just give me some sort of something to put in my mouth. I feel like shit.

I was just like eating everything. There's like people like holding out Vaseline tubs and everyone was just dipping their hands in and rubbing their nipples. Like after the halfway point, everything let loose like that's where the variants were created i think did you what was your recovery time on that was that a couple days a week couple weeks it was over a week it was like uh it was like three days later they announced the lockdown and i was like i'm not going anywhere anyway like i can't walk like i could barely sit on the toilet Like I was sitting in like bathtubs full of ice and just like, just go to the bathroom that way.

Yeah. Shitting in an icy tub, which we've all done. Um, yeah, it was like, just still vacillating my nipples, rubbing my nipples.

They're fine. But I just got into that. I just like, I'm shiny. Yeah. Like a shiny nip and an icy dump. So soothing. Oh, boy.

That's, the, like, barefoot thing, that comes from the idea that, like, we know how to run. Like, our bodies are designed to run, and, like, running shoes have perverted that. Exactly, yeah. But it. And that's why they have those shoes

that are just like toes. I saw a few of those too and I wanted to barf. It was disgusting. I was like, that's worse than a barefoot for some reason. I don't know why.

Telling the crowd, this isn't because of the marathon. I'm puking specifically because of that guy's shoes. I'm at the starting line. I haven't even moved. Yeah. Quentin Tarantino is there

just cranking it. Cranking loads with tarantino um yeah so uh that's what i've been up to watching the olympics i'm gonna watch them uh right to the end of the line because uh it's like the exciting stuff all happens in the last it does feel a little bit like there's so many sports now. I'm scared. I'm missing something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I did.

I like, I have kids that I love growing up. I loved the Olympics. Yeah. So much more than now. And I wanted my kids to like, see just like, here's what,

here's pole vaulting. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like, isn't that crazy? Yeah. This is a pummel horse. Then you're going to, yeah. isn't that crazy yeah this is a pummel horse then you're gonna yeah isn't that insane and uh they don't know yeah they don't know they don't

care i want them to get hyped about it and try to like jump over stuff in the house they will give them enough time and give them a broom and they'll be javelining all over the place. Should we move on to some overheards? Yeah, man. Video games. Video games. Video games. You like them? Maybe you wish you had more time for them.

Maybe you want to know the best ones to play. Maybe you want to know what happens to Mario when he dies. In that case, you should check out TripleClick. It's a podcast about video games. A podcast about video games? But I don't have time for that. Sure you do. Once a week,

kick back as three video game experts give you everything from critical takes on the hottest new releases to scoops, interviews, and explanations

about how video games work to fascinating and sometimes weird stories about the games we love. TripleClick is hosted by me, Kirk Hamilton. Me, Jason Schreier. And me, Maddie Myers. You love. TripleClick is hosted by me, Kirk Hamilton. Me, Jason Shire.

And me, Maddie Myers. You can find TripleClick wherever you get your podcasts and listen at MaximumFun.org. Bye! Overheard! Overheard! This is the time on the show that you've all been waiting for the part where you hear what we hear. And we always like to start with a guest. Matt, would you lead us into the great abyss? All right. This happened a few months ago. No, actually, no, this would happen over a year ago.

This doesn't matter. It was here in Los Angeles. I was walking down Sunset Boulevard and I walked past his patio and I saw two guys talking and I heard one guy go, hey, you remember Johnny Depp? And the other guy goes, um, and he goes, the other guy goes from the adventures of Sparrow. And then the other guy just goes, okay. And that's all I got. Like what's the adventures of Spar sparrow i think he was going for jack sparrow pirates of the caribbean but both of them didn't know what the hell they were talking about love it and part of me was like you're in la man like this is where movies are made you got

to have a base level grasp on pirates of the the Caribbean at least. My favorite thing would be a person in LA who detests movies and television. Yeah. I don't even own a movie, dude.

When did the first Pirates come out? Like, 2002? Oh, God. I think it was. It was a while ago. It was still in diapers then.

Still in diapers. Yeah. But, like, it is the kind of thing of like do you remember like if you're young enough you would ask someone do you remember but remember johnny depp just remember johnny depp like he's been yeah because if you didn't know pirates of the caribbean why how would how would you know johnny de? Like what would be a teenager's entryway into Johnny Depp? Willy Wonka reboot? I guess, yeah.

Alice in Wonderland? What else has he been in? He was in Alice in Wonderland and he was in he was in like one of the Harry Potter knockoff series. Oh, that's right. Oh, the amazing things and how to find stuff. Yeah, amazing things and how to find stuff yeah amazing things and how to find

a discount um you remember gilbert grape i do remember gilbert grape y'all remember betty and june yeah i remember betty and june i remember he was like he was the biggest star in the world for a while yeah but it's like when i was a kid and somebody told me that burt reynolds was the biggest star in the world and i was like that doesn't compute but he was different because he was like he's doing like he was like the actor he was like actory oh jenny he's doing a character burt reynolds is just like are we rolling or not yeah yeah i'll say the line i'm gonna punch an alligator later so i want to i want to get to that part of the movie. Dave, do you have an overheard?

Yes. Yesterday, I took my children to Grouse Mountain, the peak of Vancouver. Oh, yeah. Did you gondola? We gondola. I didn't make my kids climb the mountain. There's a thing in Vancouver called the Grouse grind that I've done a couple of times. It's not a marathon, but it's you walk up a mountain and you get it's the hardest.

Like the hardest part is the first quarter and you get to a sign that says one quarter mark. And you're like, oh, yeah, how am I going to do this? This is impossible. And then it gets a bit is laurel canyon the equivalent in la that's where i see a lot of photos from is some canyon there's the laurel canyon there's there's the wisdom tree which is on the top of a mountain it's like this random hike that's like straight up and it's a fucking nightmare yeah runyon canyon i think is the one that everyone goes oh yeah that's an easy hike That's an easy hike. That's nothing.

But is it filled with people? Because there's so many people that take photos from there. It's a zoo. It's like a escalator. It's all influencers. And sometimes you see Kevin Smith in a giant hockey jersey or something. But also on Hollywood Boulevard, there's Kevin Kevin Smith impersonator who's wearing Giants. Yeah,

so it could be him. I don't know which one it is, but he's hiking. I remember seeing a Jack Sparrow one of those when I went to LA once. Yeah, yeah,

yeah. He was with the Supergirl. They walked off together. Oh, wow, good for them. Have you been to Funyun Canyon? That sounds delicious.

It's like Deep Fried Onions. I don't think I've ever had Funyuns They're good Can you get them here? I think they're strictly Canadian, aren't they? No, man We couldn't have come up with that We were too busy eating hostess chips To ever invent a Funyun

I love Onion rings I'll get onion rings anytime yeah anytime they're available instead of fries give you them give me them rings yeah have you ever had the under ring tower no we talked about that a few weeks you never had dream and red robin red robin oh murphy onion ring in a burger was game changer for me the first time i put an onion ring in a burger yeah well i don't even think i've ever done that that sounds amazing where do you where do you get that there's some burgers that it's always like a barbecue don't say some just tell me where where the fuck

is it yeah or you can just do it yourself you could do it anytime you could put an onion what what am i covered in onion rings ringing my my own onions Or like Do it yourself Get Cut up an onion Pull out one ring Deep fry it Put it in a burger No problem

Do it yourself Okay here's my over So we were on Grouse Mountain And There's like There's like There's two bears That live up there

Behind a fence Oh shit You can see them Watch them Be You know Pretty bored There's two bears that live up there behind a fence. Oh, shit. You can see them. Watch them be pretty bored. Or mate, depending on the season. There's an owl show where you learn about owls. Oh, this is great. There's a lumberjack show where they climb a, yeah, yeah. And chop stuff really fast.

We didn't see the lumberjack show. We were on the other side at that point. But there was, there's also like a kids, there's a bunch of stuff. If you're over eight, you can go to like zip lining and, you know, a bunch of stuff where you're harnessed in and climbing weird stuff. But if you're under eight, like my kids are, there's like a treetop adventure, sort of these like five tree houses,

uh, that are connected with, uh, like little bridges. Like an Ewok village. Yeah. Kind of an Ewok village. And you run around,

uh, it's amazing. Like I, it, it's really beautiful and it smells great. It smells like, you know, pine trees. Yeah. And the kids were having and it smells great. It smells like, you know, pine trees. Yeah.

And the kids were having fun and running around and it's awesome. And then I heard this other kid with his dad, this other kid said, why did my mom sign me up for this camp? And the dad said, you're not in a camp, camp buddy you're here under your own free will you said this morning you wanted to do this yeah yeah oh man no one's putting a gun to your house head in your house what am i saying no one's putting a gun in your house okay it's tuesday you didn't come here yesterday a camp is usually all week yeah yeah exactly um yeah and also the kids don't kids don't get to exercise their free will very often because uh yeah if they did they'd probably die you can leave at any time

uh well i'll leave now i'll give me the keys to the car okay well you can't leave now it's a hundred bucks to get up this mountain. Wait, did you spend money to get up there? Does it cost money to get up there? To ride the lift, the gondola. Oh, shit. That's how they get you. Well, it's, boy, it was, I think it's like $65 for a grown-up.

And then for a kid, it was 25 bucks and my uh younger daughter is free let me tell you that tracks there's a there's a gondola in palm springs where it looks really nice we're like hell let's let's just ride a gondola i'll bet it's almost free and it was like 70 bucks a person like it was so much money to ride a damn gondola but even if you walk up you gotta pay to take the gondola down well that's backwards yeah what if you refuse to pay and you gotta you gotta roll down you're you roll down or become a lumberjack and you can't walk down the you can't walk down because there's so many people walking up that yeah that's how they stick you my god that's like going to toronto island in toronto it's like

there's just a time of day where just the ferries stop and it's just like well there you are on toronto island now and you really live there yeah yeah that's right it's uh sounds cool it's cool um my overheard is courtesy of now i assume i've already said this on the podcast several times but my curse for my life is no matter what line I get in, I'm behind the person that has the most difficult situation going on. They're ordering seven different things and they're ordering for a whole table. They don't understand the menu.

They don't have their debit card out. I think, I think a lot of people can relate. Oh yes, absolutely. I think everyone chooses the wrong line. Everyone, you know,

sure. This is a, but I feel like there's never been a time where i was like man that person was quick that was an easy easy selling so i was behind a guy i feel like it's not maybe what kind of store was this was an a and w burger chain okay sure dave was an and oh uh hey matt yeah uh do you know a and w stands for always wet dave what does it stand for i think it's always wet Always wet. Matt, can I educate you? Please do. You've been to an A&W?

Many times. Oh, I love it. They serve the food, right? Oh, yeah. The drinks? Yep. It stands for... Boy, in my estimation, I think A&W stands for

hamburgers or whoop beer oh god well that's been the show everybody yeah yeah yeah well i'll just clean up now and uh yeah tip your um uh door person on the way out and i didn't even realize i was i i didn't intend to set myself up by asking where you were oh no but you know what it worked out really well have you you've you have the beyond burger there yes yeah have you had the impossible whopper at i have and it didn't it was very underwhelming yeah do you know that a andW now has, which one? Beyond, they have Beyond Nuggets now. Like my head spins off my body.

I can't, I've never. Have you had the, do they do a Beyond like sausage breakfast patty? I know Starbucks does. Oh yeah, I think A&W does as well. Dunkin' Donuts does down here as well. It's quite something. Yeah, I love it. Oh yeah. well um donuts does down here as well it's quite something yeah i love it oh yeah uh but i was

behind a guy that i feel like he's not around a lot for the kids he didn't seem to know how to handle the kids and he was ordering and the kids kept changing their mind and the the mother of the kids was trying to wrangle the kids and uh so he got an order and they kept changing it like adding this thing and that thing and then he finally had it he paid for his order and i was about to go up and he cut back in line in front of me and i asked them does every bun have sesame sesame seeds on them i was like oh my god have you ever been to a burger joint in your whole life the answer is yes yes they are 100 all the time oh mcdonald's the mcdonald's burger and cheeseburger oh yeah that's the little burger

guys yeah yeah how do i make some in there probably yeah they'll sneak some sesame they're on the other side they're on the bottom side yeah yeah that's right yeah anyways you're getting them 100 but yeah maybe i'm wrong maybe more places don't have sesame seeds than do but if you drew a hamburger you draw sesame seeds on the top of the bottom yeah yeah yeah yeah which what is the reason for the sesame is it just a little extra panache on the top jesus i never yeah no idea it does nothing it doesn't really like you don't get an overall sesame vibe no no extra crunch or anything even from like a sesame bag i guess a sesame bagel you get a

sesame vibe but not in the in the like sesame oil no asian cooking yeah you know what it is you know i just i just realized now it's it's it's uh like texture so it doesn't fall out of your hand it's like uh it's grip yeah um i think you got it i think you saw that i think that's it yeah they also are doing climbing in this olympics they're doing like that's cool wall climbing which is cool uh i will never do it uh even if somebody put a gun to my head i'd be like kill me now you're not going out the walls so scary um i would do it i think it's fun yeah i don't know uh matt wall climbing would i climb a wall i would try your harness then am i am i harnessed yeah yeah i would have to be harnessed i would never free climb anything i i'm not i like the i like the idea of having very powdery hands yes very powdery hands i like a nice dry hand i don't like a wet hand yeah you

should watch the olympics yeah so that excites me there's a lot of chalk at the olympics but it's also like they must have very strong fingers because it's like they're you they're lifting with every part of their body yes like yeah it's all feet it's all fingers it's like everything's active they're like yeah the it's weird the the competitors are like you want to know how strong my fingers are smell my finger smell my dry fingers um there should be one connector that's just for the mouth though i think that would be exciting oh sure it's like a mouth it's like hand hand foot hand foot and the top one is like you got to dangle from your mouth for 10 seconds. And then.

It's like the start of Mission Impossible 2 with Tom Cruise just dangling. From his mouth. From his mouth. Now I know why you want to hate me. We're talking about the Beyond Burger. And since the Olympics are on, I need to point out that every time we mention anytime anyone mentions the beyond burger i think of olympic swimmer american olympic swimmer matt beyondy yeah he why doesn't he get in on the action i don't know he's gotta be we gotta get

1988 olympian matt beyondy to sponsor the beyond burger. Yeah. Or MeUndies. He could also... Yeah. Biondi MeUndies. Call us if anyone here is friends with Matt Biondi. Call us. We're gonna... We're gonna hook him up. We're gonna hook him up. We've never had MeUndies as a sponsor, but maybe we could get him ZipRecruiter.

Now, we also have Overheard sent sent into us from around the world if you want to send one into us you can send it to spy at maximum fun dot org and this first one comes from daniel from syrinchester england i'm pretty sure i nailed that a lot of asses yeah yeah uh too many really um overheard walking down the street in bristol england behind a young couple in their early 20s obviously on their first date the man says to the woman i love cash in hand jobs she replies you love cash in hand jobs so classic cash in hand oh cash like what are these a cashew at first boy you know there's a million ways to hear this wrong what is a cash in hand job when they just pay you cash at the end of the day yeah

yeah oh just a little but also you probably get that for a hand job yeah yeah you know or do you at this point van mo my pill it's the tony braxton spoof i've been working on the tony braxton spoof i gotta put this on tiktok yeah this is gonna blow up um this next one uh comes from christine in vancouver i was driving out of vancouver for a long weekend saw a ton of signs for garage and yard sales along the way yeah this is this is like prime this is it this is when garage sales are happening yeah when it's not raining yeah it's this is man they're everywhere and it's a high time to buy whatever crazy crap you want uh when i got almost to the highway i just happened to pass a cardboard sign with black sharpie

that said lots of crap ahead and then down the road a follow-up sign that said crap this way i gotta know what the quality of the stuff was then like it was the stuff also funny yeah i wonder if it's boring like or if they were they told their like 13 year old son can I got to know what the quality of the stuff was then. Like it was, was the stuff also funny? Yeah. I wonder if it was boring. Like, or if they were, they told their like 13 year old son, can you make some signs please?

Sure. Yeah. Um, like years and years ago, I went to a farm that had a whole barn that was just movie props. And I always wondered what happened to that. If it's still there, if the guy died and

or would he sell them off he had like phone booths and shit like that it was crazy jesus from the movie phone booth oh my god can you imagine that'd be like meeting a celebrity if you went to a conference and the phone booth from phone booth was there it smells like colin farrell yeah it's giving us a pep talk he's giving a speech at our annual general meeting colin farrell via the phone booth from that it's just the phone booth oh it's just the phone booth i thought it was colin farrell calling in they pick up the receiver sutherland is gonna shoot me was that whole movie in the phone but we actually i remember seeing

that movie and i'm like did i watch a whole movie of colin farrell in a phone booth you did did i actually watch that whole thing yeah i remember watching it too in the theater because it was hot out and so is kelsey grammar in it probably he's bipping and bopping all over the place that guy yeah that's true um i remember that being the big selling point the trailers they're like it's oh this is all in one booth like this is this is a one movie what kind of booth phone it's the phone booth uh one shot this last one comes from mike in louisville we were at the pool the other day and i overheard two kids talking and one said to the other this water is so deep there is no way a seven-year-old could survive that yeah seven-year-olds are not you know yeah they can't tread yeah spoken like a true

eight-year-old talking to a seven-year-old that just shit at the bottom of the pool there's no way you can survive it if you go down there don't go down there don't even think about going down there yeah yeah seven-year-olds there's a they have a flag that says don't tread on me and it's just a picture of this water um what was i gonna ask oh when you were a kid did you ever did your parents ever do a thing where they threw quarters into a pool and made you die for them no i feel like that was something my parents innovated to uh keep us underwater we've been wasting money they have like toys that sink that you can get yeah it's like eggs i was never making money doing that stuff i was gathering like yeah yeah and stuff like that that was my first job

quarters on the bottom of we we literally have two kinds of pool toys floaties and sinkies floaties yeah wait graham was Graham, was your pool a fountain? A public fountain? Yeah, it was a public... I mean, it was very shallow, but there was always new water falling down on me. Yeah, it was in Rome. It was... Were your parents with a general public fountain?

It's the same one from Married with Children's opening credits. We drove past that, remember? Cool. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. Memories. In addition to overhears that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us, our phone number is 1-844-779-7631.

That's one. Ugh, SpyPod. One like these people have. Hey, Dave, Graham, and possible guests. This is Tiana calling from Los Angeles, California with an overheard. I often tune out my four-year-old because he talks all of the time. I love him very much, and he

talks all the time. And one day he was talking and I wasn't particularly listening, but then I tuned back in just in time to hear, I am a robot. I don't care if I die.

Classic robot. here i am a robot i don't care if i die classic robot oh they don't care they don't know that's right uh but like that's great to like have the ability to tune out your kid and then like i'll just check in on them oh shit just like turns a knob in her ear because she is a robot um wasn't there like there was a robot like an alexa type thing that something went wrong with it and it just kept saying all i see is death no i don't know fuck man i don't know we shouldn't be toying around with this stuff anymore it was fine fine when Arnold was a cyborg. Yeah, that was fine. That was the line. Yeah.

Let's get real. Fun's fun, but come on. After a fucking robot says all I see is death, we're fine with that as a society? We're like, yeah, move on. Well, that kid's going to grow up to be the guy that will kill a robot. Side unseen. If there ever is an uprising he's like it doesn't care if it doesn't care if it dies i knew that when i was a kid and i said

that to my mom and she wasn't even listening i mean a robot army would be better than a human army because like none of the soldiers care if they die yeah yeah and also you have less uh robots sitting around talking about what they'll do when they get back home. Yeah, sure. Robots don't care about that shit. Yeah, their robot wives haven't mailed them a nudie picture. Circuits. Circuits and oil.

That's like the equivalent of humans sending sending pictures of their bones yeah their insides send your wife a piece of you here's your next phone call buddies hey Dave Graham and Superfly guest oh wow this is Derek from Salt Lake City calling in with kind of a two part overheard

um so I was sitting at a restaurant and there's these two guys at the table across from me and I eavesdropped in on their conversation and I heard one of them say, they're kind of like, I should say, they're kind of like stoner, surfer kind of looking dudes. And one of them said, dude, I've been saying it for so long. They should make a movie about a scary house. Which I thought was pretty good.

But then the other one said, oh yeah, I remember when you said that. And then in unison they said, yeah, I was playing Pac-Man. And you farted and it sounded like pac-man dying and then they both laughed really loud and uh yeah that's what i've heard thanks a lot of the show that's maybe a perfect over yeah everything about that is great it's got different levels to it yeah like what is the sound is like yeah yeah yeah yeah it was like all timey

video game sound too it's like it's not a modern like it's so unlikely that he would have been playing that game yeah and also you know so unlikely that his bowels would be like here's a tribute like they're gonna be chasing that high for the rest of their lives I think I know they were high high but they're like this is a new type of high yeah this is a pure this is

a free high this is the natural high like most people nowadays would be playing like cyberpunk yeah cyberpunk farts yeah it's true i've not farted like any noise in call of duty yet so if i ever fart in a time limit. You'll wait, you'll wait, you will. A grenade being pulled, yeah. All right, here's your final overheard. Oh no, I'm panicking. Make this one of those classic

started and then hung up and then called back. Not trying to tell you how to do, how to do, how to do... So I guess he panicked. He panicked and then he was like, I don't want to tell you how to do your business. And then he was like, oh shit, I'm in deep now.

He called back. Oh, you know, it's kind how like one of those things where it starts out as a joke and then it ends up uh sincere isn't isn't that beautiful anyway time being a flat circle uh uh you know uh uh i i overheard uh uh uh someone take shrooms at 10 p.m. on a work night. And, you know, remind me not to do that, or what else is your job? And this number could be the mnemonic device. It's hard to Google.

Oh, my God. We put the phone number in every show post Go to MaximumFun.org And find our show The phone number's there But also I guess don't take shrooms at 10pm on a work night Take them at 5pm right when you get off work Yeah that's right

And then you can watch Ninja Turtles And you know Count Duckula before you have dinner Good for him for getting the call through. That in itself is... I've never worked a phone on shrooms. No. He wasn't on it.

He overheard someone. Oh, I thought that was the joke there, that he was on them. Maybe. I wasn't listening that hard. I'm on shrooms. We're all on shrooms right now, but not like that. Well, that brings us to the end

of this episode. What's your favorite mushroom? Shiitake. Shiitake. No, button. Ooh, button's classic. I think I like cremini. Creminis are great. Look at that, it's three different guys. Yeah.

That's a great thing about mushrooms yeah um matt yeah thank you so much for being a guest on the show thanks so much for having me um where can people find all your fantastic videos and everything that you're uh doing comedy wise you i post everything on twitter so uh you can find me matt underscore o'brien on twitter you can find me matt o O'Brien on Twitter. You can find me Matt O'Brien on Instagram. I also post up there and then, um, youtube.com slash Matt O'Brien is where I post everything. Yeah.

And if you out there haven't checked it out, uh, before it's fantastic stuff. Really, really funny. Thank you. Um, so do check that out.

And, um, thank you again. Maybe like truffles. I don't know if I've had truffles. I had truffle oil, but yeah, truffle oil is good,

but you have to get a specialized pig for that. You can't just go around picking truffles yourself. Well, I mean, can I just use the pig I have lying around the house? No, no, no.

I need a special pig. Different pig. Yeah. No, that's a home pig you're thinking. Can I reformat my pig? No, it's done. Thank you all thinking of. Can I reformat my pick? No. It's done.

Thank you all, you out there, for listening. Please, in the future and in the present, hold each other's hands, but you make sure you're wearing some sort of glove and or have sanitizer readily available. And we'll see you next week. It's episode 700 next week. That's right.

We're recording it tomorrow. I have a feeling this is going to be the biggest one yet. Shit, I thought this was it. Thank you so much for listening. Come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Audience supported.