Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 706 - Sara Hennessey

Episode Date: September 28, 2021

Comedian Sara Hennessey joins us to talk gym class, drone life, and 90 Day Fiancé.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 706 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who's got a teeny tiny little soft drink, Mr. Dave Shumka. Yeah, I got one of these little cokes. I tried to put it in a koozie and it's like too... Swimming in the koozie. Yeah, it's gonna drown in this koozie and it is it's going to drown in this koozie. And it is, yeah, sometimes you just need a tiny Coke.

I had a little headache. Oh, yeah. Coke is my... Coke's good for headache, good for stomachache. Well, yeah, I feel like if you're caffeine dependent, then you drink a Coke. That's what I'm talking about, right? Mm-hmm. So this is 222 milliliters from the good folks at Coca-Cola.

Mm, yes. Oh, I wonder where it was bottled. It was bottled. This is the content everyone out there craves. Where is this thing bottled? Do you ever, like, oh, bottled in Canada, that's all. And it was, I'll be honest, no bottle was involved. That's true.

Our guest today, very funny comedian, somebody that I have wanted to have on the show for a long time, but it never worked out. But it's finally worked out. She has a short film that's debuting on the website No Budge on November 4th. It's Sarah Hennessey, everybody. Hi. Oh, my God. Hi. on the website no budge on november 4th it's sarah hennessey everybody hi oh my god hi back at you oh my god hi this is huge thanks for having me i like it i like being yeah thanks for thanks for being our guest um should we get to know us yes get to know us like each other yeah we're gonna get to know each other we're gonna find out first base alert let's get to know each other what is in your estimation what is first

base um well in this situation i put it as getting to know each other, but I think first base would probably be making out with your faces. Yeah. Base make out? Okay. Right? Yeah, I buy that. And then I guess second base would be like touching body parts that are private. Yeah.

And then third base, this is where I don't know. Is third base like full pen or is that home run? It's just rude. Full pen. like full pen or is that home run it's just rude no i think that's they say i i think that is yeah that's a home run or that yeah because that's like you scored okay so third base might be like i guess in between second and and yeah i might be mouth stuff oh mouth mouth to mouth to um mouth to to private parts yeah yeah i mean i'd be happy getting a triple honestly i'd be i like i think first base is so nice like i mean there's so many great things about all of them honestly why rush to third because it's only good if it's like you

have a really great time at the other bases yeah that's true that's true and you don't in professional baseball maybe in amateur baseball they do this you can't just pick what base to run to i mean check out my slugging percentage um sarah hello uh we've uh you you've never been on this podcast before although we were unclear about that before i was positive i had and then we talked about mike bullard and then you guys were like that wasn't us and i don't know who it was and it was a long time ago was it were you talking to mike bullard about mike bullard no no people in the states mike bullard was canada's one and only ever late night talk show host and i feel like it didn't last very long it was probably what like one season or two no he was on he was on the comedy network for years it went on and on and on in spite of it did yeah it just shows me that i

don't know things and then he went to a major network ctv and that was the end was it ctv global global was and he was competing directly with the daily show when john stewart was on it and so insane yeah i also think that that's actually pretty amazing like it's just amazing that he did that because nobody else has been able to do that in canada like wow why you know it seems like a thing that would be fine in canada but maybe y'all y'all should have a late night show that would be so cool oh thank you i think that you you two would be contenders to put on an incredible one and then people would get to fly out to bc to do it that's so gorgeous and we got nice hotels here

you know nice we absolutely we won't move to do this and like in the man on the street bits just like the scenic vistas of the man on the street bits like oh my god well we get socked in with clouds quite a bit though you know weather gear would be necessary but still sarah did did you um correct me if i'm wrong okay um because i remember i think i saw you on tv oh my god two years ago were you doing uh something for participation oh yes i got i had a gig that year it was i was their spokesperson for a year and and it was really good because that job um helped enable me to afford to move to new york cool that's where i live now and that was a uh so it was i think for canada's 150th birthday

yeah just very making it very white you know it only existed then for 150 years that's right and i was the face of that i was the face of that and that's something that's really cool about me um and you went uh because i remember thinking oh we should get her on the podcast because she's going all around canada doing different exercises and then it occurred to me oh she shot this stuff like a year ago oh yes but i did actually shoot a bunch of stuff in bc and it was so fun my brother lives out there so i got to visit him and when i was out there we did like yeah i remember we were doing like commercials and we had to shoot like so many different sports of me trying so many different sports over like you know a two three day shoot or something you were and it was a series of commercials that was a series of commercials

that they kind of rolled out throughout the year and the idea was to get people participating in activities and they wanted to pick out just a real normal looking gal who's like not intimidating so that way people who are kind of scared of doing trying things won't because they're like look at that fucking loser yeah do it if she can do it like if you guys like what like a roller skating you know done up with giant uh eye shadow and uh some sort of helmet then you'd be like too yeah if i was whip if i was whiplash or whatever it's called like no whiplash what was it called like the derby girl girl thing then they would be like no she's too cool she's too cool but like but then but since they just had me like i'm somebody who's definitely not um skilled but i am enthusiastic

and so yeah you're eager yeah i'm like put me in coach and they're like you're not on the team i'm not your coach yeah i'm not your coach you just rolled up here um did you ever play any sports growing up no i actually have a lot of like um weird feelings about it because i just like i was we had this like narrative in my home growing up that i quit everything and like they're like sarah quits everything like she starts stuff and then she quits it but then looking back i'm like i was nine like what like oh you think i'm supposed to stick with something forever at nine that's true but like but because so because of that i always just always felt like i don't know i was really not good at sports and i thought since i wasn't immediately good

then i just run away from the situation yeah i understand that completely like i actually wasn't like put me in coach i was like hey can i hey coach can i talk to your wife for a while like i would rather sit and talk to people instead of doing the thing and i think that's why it might be like socially capable that would be great to see you on the bench talking to the coach's wife yeah i'm like so what's your deal that yeah i'm like it's the lovely purse like i would anything to avoid getting in the actual game yeah yeah yeah yeah i was the same if i didn't pick it up immediately i was out if i didn't understand and was good at it then quit yeah i remember like my i did a year of t-ball and then i never did it again i did soccer throughout but i remember

like my a few years after t-ball my friends were in little league and i was like oh can i be in little league why aren't i in little league and i i said to my parents and they were like well you hated t-ball so well i was like i hate soccer and you make me do soccer and you were a child like you're allowed to have new interests that are fought that should be fostered but for some reason they're like no you already you already quit piano so you can't learn how to like you know play guitar you said you didn't like piano and i'm like wait a minute you guys are imperfect anyway i would never i would never tell my parents they're imperfect is there anything

you've pursued in a in a physical way post-childhood as a as an adult yeah i'm a big i bike around a lot i'm a big uh like biker like i just like just casual like getting from a to b like i all my shows bike to friends houses i really like to physically process i'm like i like exercising yeah but like i'm not like throwing or catching anything i'm just like i'm just like moving to music and feeling all right yeah that's you don't have to throw or catch anything that's that's only one type of exercise like sometimes i whenever i watch a league of their own i'm like that could be me like i feel like i feel like physically capable but like skillfully like untapped like i haven't tapped it i didn't try they're like oh she doesn't get it right away so she can't do it she's never been tapped yeah i've never been tapped i've

only made the first base second base um sports wise but um i feel like yeah it's like uh that i remember the visceral of frustration and shame like my face getting all red and feeling like really embarrassed and like awful during gym class like when i couldn't play volleyball as well as other people you do you remember that kind of shit it was like yeah i can't wait till we don't have to do this anymore we could just talk yeah and i feel feel like any team that I did join, I got the, like, he's got a lot of heart vote. Like, not great out there, but boy, does he keep trying. Yeah, he's like our, you're like Rudy.

Yeah, so like Rudy, I'm like a mascot for the team. Yeah. Also, remember in Sandlot? Do you guys remember Sandlot? I do. If there's a 90s baseball movie we remember yeah okay sweet but remember how like that main guy his dad was played by dennis leary and it or stepdad was and he tried to play catch with them and then dennis leary was just so annoyed that he sucked at baseball and then so it just it took the sandlot kids to like

really usher him into like figuring it out like that's what we needed yeah but like but instead everybody just seemed like a real dennis leary like they don't get it automatically hit the bricks kid but what if there is what if you found out that there was a sport that you were completely the most natural at in in the world oh my god you just unlocked like a fantasy of just pure levity i feel like i would feel like i was walking on sunshine and i would definitely be trying to have that sport be there in my life because like i know at the olympics there's always somebody who was like doing something else and a coach was like hey you're you're good at this one

portion of it you should be this i you're a you know you're already sword fighting why don't you try fencing sword fighting or like yeah or like um like shot put is that in the olympics yeah that's funny oh my god i mean i just i just i feel like that's why we have advanced like charisma is because we had to work so hard to get through gym classes and with our integrity speak for yourself okay sorry sorry sorry little league and um soccer throughout i don't know what i mean is i don't have advanced charisma you don't no i had a friend in gym class who hid inside the pommel horse uh because he didn't want to so he got to class like five minutes early and hid inside the pommel okay the survival skills are

through the roof with this kid that's amazing now he owns a car dealership so talk about a charisma was it jim poplinski it was jim poplinski it was calgary flames on jim poplinski um the uh did you ever have to do gymnastics unit in school yeah i also took gymnastics and when i wanted to quit that my parents were like you have to tell the instructor why and i was like oh my god and then like and then so i was like it was like this big moment and i was like i don't let's see how good your charisma is now and then he and then i was like i told him that i just had too much homework and he's like you don't have too much homework you're in second grade and like and i was like like and then he wouldn't take it it was like breaking up with somebody and they wouldn't they're like your reason doesn't hold water um but also i remember having to do stretches in gymnastics

where he would have his legs wide open and he's wearing short shorts and seeing his balls like i see his balls and i was like what balls like i didn't know what balls really were and i was like i just know that i don't like seeing this yeah yeah exactly that's that's my first base and so if i could go back into if i could go back into my body as a kid and he's like i'm like i would be like so confident i'd be like listen man you're wearing these short shorts when you're doing the stretches i have to see your balls and i'm out of here for that reason i'm out like you know yeah like i don't actually have any homework it's your yeah it's that i've been 30 years i'm gonna still be talking about the balls that i saw and they're yours and and we're all children like would it kill you to put on like another layer yeah like some spandex under there or something like that

or even just a tight tighter whiters yeah i feel like there wasn't i feel like it was like a mesh built-in underwear situation so i just saw like balls rolling around and like they were rolling around that's what it felt like i just remember like the texture like you could like it was like you could see the texture of them and it was just very ball-y and like and being like just like this kid who's like huh like not knowing how to deal with the scenario but just kind of realizing that i wanted to quit after that. And then, and then the harshness of life of somebody being like, you have to say why. And then I came.

Yeah. Anyways. But you couldn't, you couldn't say balls. That's too crazy. A thing to say. Only now am I articulating the real issue, which was that I was forced to, or I was like put in a scenario where I had to look at an adult man's

balls as a child and I don't want it. Yeah. I don't want it yeah i don't want it as an adult either yeah yeah that's true yeah thank you you guys are like on my side yeah absolutely we're here for you this is like therapy honestly everything feels like therapy these days and i love it yeah are you are you a therapy fan do you go to the therapy i'm a ther girl i'm a ther girl i'm a ther again i'm trying to make that a thing i'm a ther gal ther gal yeah yeah i love it i've been taking therapy for a bunch of years but i really like my therapist now she's like a handful of years older than me so

it's like it feels like she's like my cool older sister and i really like that as somebody who didn't have an older sister it'd be weird to maybe this is just me but to go to therapy with somebody who's much younger than you because then that's happened to my friend yeah and my a couple of my friends have therapists who are like younger than them or their same age and i'm like i want that classic wisdom of someone who's like had a little bit more life experience than me yeah yeah yeah yeah and that's harder and harder as you get older because you're like okay you're like wait a minute i'm i'm old i can't even come to terms with it i have so many 24 year old friends it's insane does that keep you young or does it make you feel like oh man it's honestly fine most of the time the only time it's like annoying is when they're like how long have you been doing comedy for i'm like don't ask that's a rookie move man yeah 24 years yeah yeah exactly

i'm like like i don't know i'm just sort of like i gotta go um but i too but they seem to accept me and it's good that's what happens when you move to like a new city i think when you're in your 30s like everybody else who was my because i moved here when i was like 34 right yeah 34 i don't know 35 whatever uh canada's 150 oh my god thank you everybody who's in their mid-30s who lives in new york doing what i do is already working full-time on shows like whether acting or writing so they're not hitting up usually hitting up the same spots I'm hitting up to get stage time right so like I'm it's but it is the 24 year olds and they're fucking cool as hell nice yeah yeah they're awesome but but I'm also sort of like at first I'm like didn't want them to know so i was like yeah it's so crazy that high

school just happened like i'm trying to fit in like overcompensating a bit yeah i wonder what it would be like when we turn 25 right guys yeah honestly like i just want to be settled down by then who's your favorite backstreet boy i mean one direction i mean bts yeah i just i honestly just stay away from any sort of references i just at all yeah yeah that's probably the feeling i just say stay in the feeling state yeah this is what i feel yeah yeah i got it yeah um when uh when you moved to new york were you going completely just on your own or did you know people there? Or. I went on my own.

Like I had a couple of like kind of acquaintances, uh, you know, like Alex Pavone, he's like, and like, uh, basically Alex Pavone was like who I knew,

but he's like, we run in different circles, but he's like, we really get along when we see each other at shows. But like, we're not like, like, let me call you up. I have a problem in different circles, but he's like, we really get along when we see each other at shows. But like, we're not like, let me call you up. I have a problem kind of friends. But he did like some cool stuff.

Like people would reach out to me being like, hey, Alex said to book you and stuff. So that was really nice of him to do that. Nice. But yeah, it was kind of really lonely for the first like year and a half was like, I had to like really like make sure i kept myself really busy and really tried to make new friends but it was really lonely not having friends who you had history with yeah that's like that seems like a big big move to move where away from all your all your people and then yeah i cried a lot but then i had to be brave you're like i can't quit new york i'll never hear the end of it oh yeah no i that wasn't an option i wasn't going to but i was like this will hurt less and less as time passes that's a good that's

a good way of looking at things it felt like being it felt like it was it definitely was hard but then now i feel better than ever like after the pandemic i did go home to canada for a bit during it because i was like you could we didn't have a vaccine so you couldn't really hang out with people yeah and then i didn't have any tight tight friends here or any like people were like had rules like i don't know like everything was just like way more tense and harsh and so i was like i don't have anybody and I just felt and I couldn't perform so I was like what and I was really spiraling in a really bad place and so I went back to Canada and it felt so good I rented a little apartment in Toronto hung out did some outdoor shows in Toronto and like it was too cold

and like had like hung out with my like old buddies and like it was so nourishing for my soul and then by the time spring rolled around i was aching to get back here and and ever since i came back my friendships here have deepened so much because i feel like we're all just like really real about how hard it was and how lonely we felt and and then all of a sudden you just have these like deeper deeper ties and it's just such a lovely thing and it's like oscillating between real talk and laughing our heads off it's like yeah these are my true friends same same are you joking you don't have any i none of my friendships have gotten better i have no deeper friendships nothing oscillates are you kidding me but do you have like a partner do you have like a like a wife and kids yeah you see that's your

thing like i don't have a wife and kids so i need friends to like really be my intimacy and uh guys to be my like intimacy yeah yeah but if i had like if i had like a like a partner and kids like that's obviously where the prior would be yeah are you sure in priority to prior? But can't you say, do you think that you and your kid are probably closer than ever? No. Kids are so annoying.

We were very close to begin with and then now they're inescapable. Yeah. That's cute. I do wonder about that. When they grow up, they'll be like oh yeah it was good that dad was always around but he sucked well nobody like the relationships are

people are so complex like you can't oh it can't all be good like they got we we all have to hate things dislike things about each other and like things about each other we gotta to not to be therapy but we gotta have room for both yeah but have you ever like seen the bad side of somebody and been like uh we can't be friends anymore like they're bad that's the one of the biggest things i struggle with is like i run for the hills at the first like sign of i have like run to the hills at the first sign of oh you're not you're i don't like this aspect of you and then not realizing that not really kind of having the like emotional maturity that you don't have like there can be like kind of complexities and like things you don't like about people and you

can still work like you don't have to work it out you can just accept that about them right but for some but i have usually i'm like they were weird at this party i'm out like we're like i'm moving to new york yeah i'm moving to new york or like um yeah like i had one friend who was like we were getting along so well and i i kind of have this thing that i think a lot of like fuck boys do to girls but i do it like friendship wise like i get super into i super friend and i'm like oh my god we're like best friends. Oh my God, I can't believe it.

And then I went to the movies with them and they talked a lot during the movie. And I was like, I was to say like, absolutely taking it back. It's like an understatement. Like I felt like I, who am I with?

Like, who's this person? I went on a date with a woman who started talking during a movie. And I was like, this is untenable.able this is not because where does it end you know what i mean like is it we're gonna talk through surgery or something down the road like what are you gonna okay well it's just not reading the room it's like this is not the time this is not the place yeah it's scary it's it weirdly scared me where i was like i had you all wrong right but then now we we kind of i gave it some space and they sort of confronted me about it and was like i noticed

that you like pulled back a lot and then i'm like i'm a fuck boy bye yeah i'm a fuck girl boy for friends what i uh yeah i once went i once went on a date with someone uh during and they were talking in the movie and so i i you know plugged the hole up in the the popcorn bucket and i got out of there oh my god imagine putting your dick into a popcorn bucket and then wanting a popcorn handy that's so weird i also like to put uh like peanut m&ms in there oh my god that's the best combination no sweet and salty sweet and salty and handjob sweet salty handjob i mean hell yeah triple all-star yeah second base that's second base that's mixing that's pure second you don't even actually have much of first there

no that's right yeah i mean maybe you kiss on the way in smooch each other thanks for the popcorn quick kiss on the lips right to the popcorn yes well you maybe kiss through like a twizzler because i do all my movie theater sex through different food receptacles did you what if you can recall what was the like worst date that you can you can conjure up oh date that i've ever been on um i guess i like went around this date i was like it was like i was going out with i went out with this guy and um he was like i guess i was like having a really big dry spell so it really felt good that somebody was throwing in showing interest in me right and then and then and then we went but i wasn't like necessarily into him i just loved that i mean i was like i

was willing to go for it but anyways we went out and then he was like but i just remember being like talking to him and being like kind of like, this is so uncool. And then he was talking about, I guess this is really mean, but he was talking a lot about his Mormon or Mennonite upbringing, one or the other. And I kept on repeating it back to him, but saying the wrong thing. And you still don't know. I still don't know.

And then the waiter came by and when he was walking away, I guess I just like openly was looking at the waiter's ass. And he's like, were you looking, were you checking at the waiter? And I was like, yeah. Yeah. I didn't mean to. I don't know. I think I just was like, wanted to do it or something.

But then we hung out too long waiting for each other to make a move. But though we didn't even really like each other, certainly didn't really like him that much and then we had like a kiss really late at night like a big kissy and i was like gross that was fucking gross and i'm tired i wish that waiter were here right now i was like i wish i could grab that waiter's ass it was like kind of like it felt like like um the cover of like a bruce springsteen album you know that one like that's like i was like those are some really classically worn in jeans. Like I couldn't get over the aesthetic. Yeah.

Anyways. No, that was bad. It wasn't like totally bad. Like I don't have like a cool story where somebody was like doing blow and I had to like call the cops or something, but like, like I just thought it was like,

um, I don't like making myself do something that when i'm not feeling full vibes but that that is that counts as a really bad date just being kind of like with a person that you immediately are like just because i wanted just because i wanted some intimacy so i was like yeah i just like over rode the um the you know the feelings that i would usually have where i'm like no with let's just try it and then and then it took so long for the kiss and i was like that's kiss sucked and i'm like life is so bad about the kiss um i guess it was just like we didn't have um a true we didn't have true romance and that's what what I require. Yeah. I need to have chemistry. It wasn't, like, sloppy and weird?

I just remember it being, like, I think it was a little probing. I remember being like, wow. Like, it was, like, it was, like, it's, like, it was, like, putting his tongue in my mouth and being like, here, there's the tongue. Like, just thinking about it anatomy-wise, being, like, gross. Yeah, it is pretty gross actually. Like if you break it down to any of its elements, it's disgusting.

It is. But if it's somebody that you're, that you're super into each other, then it's, it's actually the total opposite where you're like, this is so cool. Yeah. Give me that crazy wiggly thing in your face.

Yeah. And here's my crazy wiggly thing. Let's wiggle it out. Yeah. Like it can be so nice but then if but if it's the bad if it's a bad combination of people and there's no real chemistry it's like it's like uh makes me want to vomit like i'm like there's ever like yeah now that there's reality shows like growing up with like you know regular tv where people would kiss and they would just

hide the sound now with like reality shows and you hear people kiss you see people because they hear the smacking and it's like no thanks oh shit what are you watching i gotta write it down peanut butter all-stars yeah i've been watching mr ed it's just foley sound and the guy's like really going hard on it yeah I don't what is it I don't really watch The Bachelor or anything but oh okay that's what I was going to ask

is it The Bachelor the only dating show I've watched was did you ever watch Dating Around no what is that it's on netflix and it's like one person dates like five people in a night well it's five nights in a row but they edit it as though it's they're all happening so like uh different outfits no same outfit so whoa okay so the that's like the first episode you're watching

and it kind of blows you away the first one you watch because you're like oh this person's just going on a date with what's so strange about this oh they asked a question and then a different person answered it and we came back and she's still in the same outfit and oh my god the editing editing central yeah also it was like uh they they had old people they had uh you know lgbtqs oh yeah like a so it was a nice diverse diverse group yeah that's what you want like but but i guess it must have had loud kissing i think they do that, yeah. They want people, they want a reaction. Yeah, and they want you to feel gross.

That's the big thing with reality. Yeah, that's the reaction they want. That's the thing. It's like, it's visceral. Like, it's either you're super into somebody spitting in your mouth, or you're super against it. Spitting into your mouth. You know what I mean?

It can be awesome if it's the right person. Yeah. Or it can be very upsetting.'s the right person yeah yeah or it can be very upsetting hey catch this you say and then yeah yeah yeah yeah this is just this is my litmus test it's actually just spit test uh let's see if i hate you or like you more after this do you watch any reality tv sarah no but i definitely um i definitely uh feel like i should um i feel like i should because i feel like it's kind of really what brings a lot of people together socially i think like i think a lot and it's also there's a different part of my like i was even watching like i watched a couple episodes of that designing fashion designing show

called making the cut the the other night because i was like my friend was telling me well nick flanagan you guys were nick flanagan yeah so nick flanagan was watching making the cut and he was like telling me about it i'm like you're watching that show all right i guess i'll check it out but it's i feel like i go into it's like alpha and theta brainwaves when i'm watching it like it's like this different like relaxationwaves when I'm watching it. Like, it's like this different, like, relaxation. Oh, yeah. Like, you find it calming. Calming or something.

Yeah. But I, um, but yeah, I don't know. But then I didn't continue. I just watched two episodes of it. And then I was like, I actually don't care who wins. And I don't care what happens. Yeah. Is that Heidi Klum and Tim Gunn?

Yes. I like Tim Gunn. Because every time they came on, I was like, I love those two. I think they're such great hosts and this is so awesome and I really like their feedback. But I was like, I don't genuinely care about what happens in these clubs. I don't think the clubs are that cool.

I like RuPaul's Drag Race. Yeah, that's a good one. I used to watch Top Chef and Project Runway all the time. Oh, fun. Yeah, those are good. There were so many reality shows where it was just like taking unknowns and like turning them into America's Next Top Model or into a singer. But these were like professionals like doing like I'm already a chef. I just want to like compete with these other chefs. Yeah.

And then it just got too repetitive after years and years. compete with these other chefs yeah and then it just got too repetitive after years and years and i can't watch any of those kinds of shows where it's like one challenge a minor challenge followed by a larger challenge at the end i know i have a few friends who work in reality television at their story editor so i kind of know that they've put so much time and how they arrange the edit to hit those um hit those story beats right and so knowing that it's kind of like it's like kind of takes it's hard to like get into it because you're like you just know that it's sort of molded that way or something also it's kind of like it feels like junk food when you're watching it like it feels like yeah i like needed it the other night because i was like looking at my phone too much and i was like kind of had something on my mind so i was like you know

i think it would be a nice time to zone out on a television show yeah and they're always yeah they're always there for you because they are like david saying they're repetitive like if it's any competition show it's the same thing every time and you can just go on autopilot and the dating ones are a little more more engaged but and they're funny like love island i've heard is really funny like i don't know island is funny yeah yeah um too hot to handle you really like yeah that was that was america's like horniest people all getting together and they weren't allowed to have sex oh wait that does sound like a lot of fun yeah it was and they're all like super surprised that that's because they didn't tell them what show they were on they told them they were on like party island they could probably have just like so many like

like talking to camera moments but just of them realizing that's what the concept was for like probably about 20 minutes of material just them being like what we can't touch each other and then someone else being like hold the phone we can't and they're like but i'm so horny and they're like i but my whole thing is is fucking and my whole thing is too and then they're like but i really want you oh you can't meet they're so hot like they could do that beat for the whole show that is yeah it's like it's repeated you're not allowed to kiss each other you're not allowed to take care of yourself you can't get first base you can't get you can't how do they know if you're masturbating

in the shower they oh yeah because there's cameras there's cameras everywhere do they imagine somebody got disqualified for um masturbating like too many times yeah or no just once they're like you broke the rules and then they show like dramatic footage of them like it's blurred out we just see like the arm going or whatever or like the hand or whatever in the shower and then they're like and then everybody just gets kicked off yeah like the thing in the show is that there's a pot of money and every time that you do something sexual, they take like $10,000. Oh, okay.

Yeah. That makes more sense. Yeah. I was like really pitching a high stakes, like crucifixion, but yeah, that makes more sense to just take out like penalties, penalties.

Yeah. Penalties make the show. Yeah. Cause they can't help their desire. Yeah, exactly. They're, they put me on there i'd have no problem i just like show up wearing like you know a big t-shirt being like you know like i'll bide my time i've done it before i can do it now it there's been there's been

a span of years where i did not get intimate and i was definitely in my prime this is not a problem yeah oh although that waiter coming by with hey look but don't touch right like i get into it a bit i just came to flirt yeah i just came i'm fine with flirting yeah that's as good as it's all i need is a little good old fashioned flirting. It's good. It's energetically healthy to be flirting. Yeah. I think flirting is if you do it right, it's a lot of fun.

If you do it wrong, it's the most agonizing thing in the world. I'm possibly a crime. Yeah. That's true. Yeah. Yeah. It's got it. You got to do it right.

The stakes are high. I hate when I see people who are on a first date and it's really obvious like that's one of the things where they're like so and then i'm like oh like just hearing somebody say so that way and when i'm walking by i get cringe cringe cringe yeah where are people having first dates well i live near prospect park which is this really big beautiful park in brooklyn and so there's a lot of dates happening there and like all sorts of cool restaurants you just see people you can spot them a mile away who's on a date just because of the body language kind of thing body language and like oh let me get your chair for you oh my god i would love that a real old school and i thought we could get a plate of spaghetti just one yeah one two straws i would love that um my whole thing is like dating when i date people

it's usually like somebody who's a comedian as well and we slowly like like you don't know whether it's gonna happen and then it happens when we run away like that's how it is i never go on like a specific hello we are on a date now like that's never happened it's always like whoa i guess we're maybe dating are you my girlfriend yeah i don't think we should label it yeah no let's label it i just got a label maker yeah oh my god a label maker my friend has a label maker he labeled my phone and said there are rules yeah but i used to be a receptionist we had a label maker and boy let me tell you everything was labeled around that office yeah phone desk computer like i didn't use the time to get creative i used it it to just get label-y. Yeah.

I got a new printer a few months ago. A laser printer. Every PDF I get sent is now printed out. You are a dad. Are we getting a printer? I mean, I've always had a printer. Checking those levels? Ink levels?

Laser levels? Laser, you don't need to. Oh, no? You never run out. You never run out of cyan no it's all one one big cartridge and it goes for it never dries up how how is the how well it's not color for one thing oh okay um because yeah i have a printer that like i think i printed like 10 things and then time to change that time to go laser man well what is the thing i have i can see it.

I can see in the corner of your screen. I think that's your printer, that machine. Oh, yeah. Is that the machine? Yeah, yeah, that's the machine. So, but what are you printing? Bible passages. Sides?

Sides? Yeah. Audition sides? Well, no. Stuff to work on. Resume? Print, like, script notes and uh you're a hard copy guy i'm a hard copy guy but also like print it out because you want to be

able to circle yeah and also our kids are um uh their school gave them a calendar last year uh but we haven't got a calendar this year and so i'm just like you're ready to print out that damn calendar you want the calendar ran out in July. Well, I'm not buying a, an August to December calendar. I'm printing out page. Yeah.

Oh, I love that. That's kind of fun. I bet there's a lot of really great options for docs. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like Sunday going to be the first day or the last day. Also,

maybe there's going to be some sort of Halloween, uh, uh, image on the next one that you print yeah we do actually we do we do print coloring pages as well that's pretty oh that's actually that's really cool yeah i'm sorry that we were so weird about the printer i know it's a cool it's great it's great it rules get yourself a laser printer mine's from brother um. You don't have a printer, Sarah, I'm assuming. Can you believe it? Every time I have to print something, I have to go to this place called Lula Bagel by my house

and they have a printer that I use. Nice. And I feel bad just using the printer, so I always buy myself a lemonade. Oh, yeah. A lemonade that has fresh mint in it. That's pretty good. I treat myself. They should call that place mint and print.

Oh my God. I mean, if it was just me going there, yes. Usually people are there buying bagels, but I, I, I do a bit of a, I do,

I do a personal mint and print. That would be such a great concept. You know, like how there's sometimes there's stores where there's only like five outfits in it. Like if there was a store that just had a printer and a lemonade cooler and that was all that they one or the other that's what you have hey graham do you know that store on canby uh called cadine yeah i do all my shopping there that's where i do my i have no idea what that

store is but it's it seems to be like five five pashminas yeah that's where i get all my pashminas i'm down to like six pashminas a week like bouquets of flowers uh they they seem to make tea and like uh incense yeah and it's two levels okay this is like an experience store where they want you to like have an experience when you go in. Right. Yeah. Have you ever been in an experience store?

I don't think I have. Um, I feel like, yeah, I have like I'll wander into a boutique or two. Yeah. Um, there's one, there's one near me that has like a huge incense burner in the middle. Like it's like this big stone thing and they always have like flowers and beautiful incense burning up so it feels like a sacred space when you go in but then you're just looking at like t-shirts it's like really weird and like trying on sunglasses but um i gotta tell you i uh the last time i went in there i think i'm gonna wait a while before i go in again because i just wandered in and then they have hand sanitizer but not when you when you first

walk in it's not the first thing you see it's behind you on the wall so they go can you please sanitize your hands and so like it's like this like immediate like shaming that happens as soon as you walk in but it's not like it's in front of you like so i was like okay already the dynamic is really messed up right now yeah this is for an experienced store yeah kind of a bad experience yeah because now i have to do all this like like emotional work to like get us up to you liking me so that way i can feel safe yeah exactly basically that's how it is with me i gotta be liked or else i'm god i'm gonna run for the hills but it is like if you do get somebody at a store kind of i i get freaked out even if they say like can i help you i'm like oh god oh i was a retail girl forever like

usually in our line of work i thought i think a lot of people went either service or retail i was retail so i i get the dynamic of like can i help you they're just saying it because they have to and you can you can just keep it moving yeah you can just say you do you feel like you have to answer honestly you're like well um yeah like i i can't i don't know around sales in general like if somebody's like you should really buy this because it's important i'd be like i guess so i just i want you to feel like you did a good job so oh i'm if i ever try anything on i'm like well it doesn't fit me but they went all to they went to all the effort of letting me try it on i should buy it yeah yeah oh my gosh yes that's so that's so emotional it is i mean like it's like it's like you feel like indebted to them

but but like i feel like we have to be discerning i think so that way you don't feel like disempowered and like you have to know i i buy stuff uh i don't want and throw it out at the nearest garbage can right outside the store and that's how i feel empowered but you look around to make sure that the salesperson isn't looking at you oh my god where did you work retail what type of spots are we talking here oh um well when i was a teenager i worked at this like used record store called sound city and aurora and that was like so fun because i loved like uh like empire records and like all those like um like what's the movie with john kuzak and jack black high fidelity high fidelity like i loved all

that that vibe so i was so stoked to work at a record store. And it was really fun because it was just independent, but then HMV at the mall kind of made it so we weren't getting a lot of business. But I still had a lot of fun working there. And compete with that HMV. Well, that was the vibe. I was like, whoa, man, it's like the Tower Records thing

happening in real life. But I did the window displays, and I really enjoyed doing that and um yeah um and then i worked at a couple of like different stores when i moved to move to toronto i worked at this cool um shoe store called groovy and they had all the best shoes but then the woman who owned the place was the meanest person ever she gave me such anxiety that every time i leaned over to pick something up i felt like my nose was bleeding like i was physically i was physically truly afraid of her like in this way that would be great if you had like a poker face so you're like you don't intimidate me and you just your nose

starts bleeding like i was i couldn't even handle how mean she was and then after that i worked at bang on t-shirts for a long time which was like very big in the vote for pedro times yes yeah you remember and um i think there was one in vancouver there was yeah yeah so i worked in that one in toronto across from zanzibar on young street for many years and that was fun because there's another shop where i could just be by myself all day like yeah yeah and just label things whenever you wanted to label things and like lock things up and like go for lunch and like come back and like go do shows after like it was really fun like i was happy that i didn't i worked at so many independent places but i didn't have to like you didn't have to work at the bay or something i didn't have to work at the bay or have like team team things or like i wasn't under

surveillance ever which i really liked oh sure yeah you didn't have to work at cadine on on canby street no and be like i don't know what we sell i don't know what we do we wear aprons um dave what's going on with you man oh well i've entered a new stage in my life uh in this past week uh my eldest daughter turned seven and among her presence that she wanted was a drone. Oh my God. The world is turning, isn't it?

Yeah. Yeah. Or she was like, uh, like, like a remote control helicopter or a drone. And I was like, wow,

how do I, what, what's the, what's the play here? play here yeah daughter's cool as hell oh my god and it's very hard to shop for a drone because there's thousands available and none of them are by brands you've ever heard of and also like it doesn't say like for ages seven and up yeah and they can be hundreds of dollars. Yes. But I was like, we're not, I'm not, I don't want to do this outside. And it's also just going to fly off and a bird's going to hit it. Yeah. It's going to go into the neighbor's yard and I'm going to have to talk to the neighbor. Oh my God.

That's so real. So I got a very small drone. Yeah. It's smaller than the remote control even okay so it's just like tiny tiny yeah and it's like got it's like rubbery around the edges so it can bounce off the wall and it came with three batteries so like the battery runs out in five minutes but you can replace it really quick right and recharge them while you're doing it and you never want to do it for more than 15 minutes is it you that doesn't want to do it for 15 minutes or it is is it mark and i don't think anyone wants to do it for 15

minutes it's it's well uh you know once you you go around you terrorize the dog yeah you kind of try to sneak up on mom but you wouldn't uh you wouldn't take it to a park i guess we could that seems like a fun or putting another toy on top of it and making yeah or like yeah or like a like attaching a note to it oh my god that's what we're talking about yeah i think to do that to maybe have like puzzles or like notes where you had to like i don't know figure out yeah or like decipher a riddle. Or like, you know, putting a camera on it and going through a sorority. Going through a 1980s women's locker room. Whatever.

What have you. The fact that that was so prevalent in movies, like that it was, that it didn't cross anybody's mind to be like, we should, we should nix this. This is not. Yeah. It's very like, I feel like growing up yeah sex was you know uh sex

and like seeing someone naked who didn't want you to yeah we're kind of the same thing yeah the 80s were awful for that kind of stuff yeah yeah peeping tom moments yeah I like rewatched uh I rewatched like part of revenge of the nerds.

And that's the whole plot of that is like sexual assault. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. But yeah, it's awful. It's awful.

Like I thought that movie was like a movie for kids, but then you watch it and you're like, Jesus Christ, this is awful, awful stuff. I remember I went to a day camp and, uh, like every day was different.

And it was like one day we were doing like sports one day. I forget like maybe arts and crafts. And one day we all went, got on the bus and went to go see the Mark Harmon movie, summer school. Oh my God. I really liked that movie when i was younger is it really sexy weird i don't remember but i was like huh i i can't

imagine there was a guy yeah there's a guy named chainsaw in it and i remember me being like that's so cool there was always a guy named chainsaw or buzz or anything i love that stereotype yeah i wanted i like the bad boy that was like wearing a trench coat and called chainsaw yeah i was like that's cool i i agree because they remember that there was one called ski school and there was a guy ski school he had like a mohawk or something he was like he was the crazy wild card who was uh the guy who joined jesse and the rippers and dated dj for a while viper was a full house yeah viper i think is right and like on family ties there was that guy nick

who kind of showed up yeah well nick's a normal name hold on nick was that that wasn't the leonardo dicaprio role and no nick no family ties was was uh am i thinking of the right show you're thinking of growing pink romance thank you yeah uh nick dated mallory for a while then he was in playgirl in real life yeah yeah we talked about this this was like 700 episodes ago we talked about nick yeah is playgirl even still around sarah honestly i can't believe i don't know i feel like a bad feminist for not knowing i should have a subscription and like in a magnifying glass to make sure i like it all uh magnifying

glass i think that's probably the wrong magazine for you yeah you're right i'm like this stick is oh it's coming right at me anyway so I got this drone I mean we got this drone but I do most of the droning it should be in all of your family photos it should be you and your whole family and the dog and then it just floating put a little Santa hat on it at Christmas

that's so good it's the best I was very on it at Christmas. That's so good. We, it's the best like, I was very, I had my, the bar was set very low for me. I was like, this is going to suck. It's going to be fun for two minutes. It's going to be frustrating. Yeah. But even Poppy, who's four

can do it. Like, she just, you know, button mashes and it's it doesn't, you know, bounce off the wall right away. And so, but it's, it doesn't, you know, freak out off the wall right away. And so, uh, but it's like to figure out like the three D Ness of it, uh,

like going up and down and left and right and turning. And it's, uh, it, it takes a little figuring it out and figuring out, and then it's very hard to like go from that mindset to scrolling on your phone. Right. Go from like, oh, I can move in any direction.

And then to be like up and down. Up and down. Left to right. Wow. That's so cool. Because it totally changes your perception and perspective of like space. Of how you can, yeah, control a thing. Control a thing through space.

Whoa. Do you think you're gonna get into um drone drone flight drone flight or like vr isn't vr kind of like that oh yeah yeah i'll probably get into vr i want to go to one of those vr places where they put you in a helmet and put you to sleep yeah they wake you up 100 years later um no you know they put the helmets on and then they let you they've years later no you know they put the helmets on and then they let you they've got a big room that you can just walk around

and shoot zombies or whatever oh yeah they have them I know they exist I don't want to go by myself that's the thing you need a buddy system yeah absolutely and it's hard to convince somebody to go do a thing that neither of you have done

yeah you know oh really yeah i guess so you know you got it there's god i'm i feel like sarah would is there's such a good hate that we are aren't neighbors because i'm like that's something i would try but i feel like sarah has a million friends that are like oh yeah we've never done it before but let's do literally because i well i just feel like it's a new city when people move somewhere it's like you it's like you're the new kid at school and then you just have to ask to hang out and so it's kind of like i have no problem asking people to do stuff all the time right but it's like it still i get butterflies like even i sent out a message today to two people being like hey i'm going to a zine fair tomorrow do you guys want to come and we can get ice cream after or something and then i was like so you put some bait yeah i guess i did

but then i was like uh and then i like i remember putting my phone down being like you're really fun and cool don't worry and then like and then later they were like hey yeah totally i was like yeah i'm like it's so fun it's like that's what i kind of like about changing things up in my life midway through because i was like it makes you have to have those like kids survival techniques of just being like call there's a kid who lives the same age across the street go call on them and then you're like okay yeah yeah that's all i need to know it's like oh if you do comedy i guess we'll be friends do you want to go to a vr thing do you want to do the part right then it's yeah like that if you've got a common interest,

but if you don't and you're just like, Hey, let's get together and go in a room with something weird. But that's the, I think that's the cool thing about kind of, I don't know, but you have, but the thing is,

if you ask people to do it, they're, you're going to get a yes, especially like you, everybody loves you so much. And if you even did have like a blanket one, like I knew who wants to go to this. Yeah. Oh'll just like send it out to everybody or like just your close friends only people who you want to actually spend time that's true but if you if you send

it up being like who wants to do this and people be like oh i do like yeah what's the tell us about this zine fair because i i don't think i've ever heard of such a thing. Oh, it's at the City Reliquary, which is this really cute little New York museum in Williamsburg. It just has really random relics there, I guess. But since the pandemic, one of the volunteers, she's like this cool chick, she started

programming shows there of all different sorts. And the backyard is huge. Her and her twin sister built this awesome bar this stage blah blah blah they do like lots of different types of performance there but then her partner um is a um like a illustrator and there's a really cool like comic book store down the street and so there's like they're just tapped into this full community of like zine people so i'm it's called big milk did you ever want to do a zine growing up was or do you have a zine are you currently zine no i'm i i love this

question um i am not it's called if you all want to look it up on instagram it's called um big milk content we'll bleep that and then um big milk expo but my friend faria khan who's like this awesome comic um she has a like a table there and there's a lot of like overlap between comedians and in like illustrators here which is cool and so i'm excited to go check it out but they also these big milk people have been putting on comedy shows where like they'll book me or whoever else to be on it but then also have an illustrator go up and on the big screen they'll go through panels and like read one of their new comics oh i thought they were gonna draw while you were telling your there's a show like that too i haven't done it yet but there is a show like that too but then so you talk about it and they draw what you're talking about i think that would be so fun but then people are laughing you have to keep on like looking back what they're

drawing but yeah i think that that sounds fun but yeah um so yeah i'm going to that tomorrow but i had yeah it was like oh i don't want to go alone so i asked two random new friends and then when now they're gonna be like better friends because you you hung out at the zine fair i yeah i love i love it i love that vibe i love just like making new friends it's so fun yeah graham if you sent out a thing to a bunch of people that was like we're gonna go to look i'm going to a vr thing who wants to come i would my first reaction would be like oh this is a test he wants to know you're suspicious immediately yeah this is anyone who says i'm coming graham's like oh this person doesn't believe covet is real okay fine maybe don't do it don't do a blanket invite do it

think about think about who you who you would have fun doing this with that's true i mean it seems like it would be i'm not letting anyone put anything on my face not even at like a fair where they paint your face like a panda or something like that no no not until we uh we're over the fifth wave you can but you can wear your mask and just get some like butterfly wings over your eyes and that's that's safe that is true yeah now you just want to go to an actual fair yeah i guess that's what i want yeah try some of that fair food whatever's new in the fair food sphere graham how are you doing i want to know about your life what do you do what's up with you well here's the

thing that i get a drone i got a drone and i flew it right into a bonfire by the way no one's ever come right out and said all right enough dave what's up with graham in 700 episodes we all take turns but and we know we're gonna get to graham but uh i know i know people are thinking it i don't know why i did that i'm i'm a backseat driver i think conversationally i'm so sorry um uh well speaking of reality shows i was at my parents place a couple weeks ago and they have like every channel possible they have like all the channels and so what's that playboy channel playboy channel playgirl channel yeah it's inclusive yeah yeah yeah for girls for a girl or boy yeah exactly guys we're not here to

judge yeah exactly no you know if you've got the playboy channel or the playgirl channel it use it in good stead and in good health um but my parents had the channel tlc which is the uh stomping grounds of 90 day fiance which is uh the best reality show that's ever existed so like i was at my parents only for a couple days so i had to like cram in as much 90-day fiance as i possibly could and uh i felt kind of sick by the end of it but i i did feel like i got i got a good juice out of the uh the possibility right have you ever seen it either of you guys yeah i've watched a bit of it but what do you mean got enough juice out of it like you so you binged it hard i binged it hard so you like watched it all day and all night at

your parents house yeah i watched it at every kind of second and what's this juice what's this juice you want like i want to i like if you watch one episode and then have a couple days you get to kind of marinate in the like oh what these characters are up to but if you're just like plowing through you kind of are compartmentalizing like, Oh, what these characters are up to. But if you're just like plowing through, you kind of are compartmentalizing. You're not really paying attention to what's going on. You're just thinking about the next episode. And what are,

what, what are your parents doing while you're doing? Are they like, honey, it would be nice to connect over a meal. And you're like, I'm binging. Yeah.

You can come join me or get away your mom's dropping off a sandwich and then picking up an empty plate five minutes later yeah oh this looks nice what's this yeah my mom flying in a drone with a little cupcake on it or something like that oh my god with a little cupcake cute so delicious um so i watched that and then this week i watched something that i've never i thought i had watched it at some point in my life but i watched and i was like i don't remember any of this stuff is i watched space jam the original space jam oh sick that's i've also never watched it it's have you seen it sarah i don't i feel like i have not but i feel like i know the energy and i

appreciate it yeah it's kind of like a down market who framed roger rabbit like it's oh that's cool yeah cartoons interacting with basketball players for the most part and bill murray bill murray shows up i have seen the uh the 11 minute cut of the katie perry video for swish swish bish the 11 minute cut yeah now that's a horny moment that's a horny time it's her video where she's uh playing basketball against these monsters and it's on her team is backpack kid and her coach is molly shannon this oh really sounds so hell yeah molly shannon maybe terry cruz is in it yeah so this is This is a weird, I didn't know that that existed. I'm sorry for saying it was horny immediately.

It was an innocent thing, and then I was like, horny, right? I mean, Molly Shannon does make out with someone. I forget who. Okay, okay. Thank God. Katie Perry, she's in the horny sphere, for sure. She's in my horny sphere. I think she's just in the collective horny sphere.

She's in the cultural horny sphere. She's marketed as a horny girl. Yeah. in the collective horny sphere she's in the cultural horny sphere she's marketed as a horny girl yeah but like this movie is so crazy it's so crazy because even when it was made people weren't watching looney tune cartoons like maybe you would watch the occasional one that came on wasn't like you fresh there was tiny tunes was pretty fresh in our memory tiny tunes that's right but like old school looney tunes and then hip-hop looney tune you know t-shirts and t-shirts and stuff yeah and track pants i remember that yes yeah although i haven't seen a kid walking around with one of those now which it feels like now that that stuff's back,

that you would see kids walking around with. You're right. Yeah, I feel like this is the time. This is it. This is our second chance to... Because there's a new Space Jam? Yeah, that's right. There's a new Space Jam with LeBron James in it.

And it's still the Looney Tunes, though. Now that you're even farther removed from what the hell a Looney tune is but here's the thing about the movie a couple of things first of all michael jordan not an actor um but all of a sudden he has to play against like green screen characters he's gonna be like one of the hardest things brought this up many times like this it's so flat is it so deliciously flat yeah and he like you can tell when he's talking uh he just seems exhausted throughout the whole it just seems wonderful and then there's uh all these other basketball players like charles barkley and bugsy mogues or whatever mugsy bogues there needs to be more bugsy names yeah absolutely and he uh they

they have their like basketball ability stolen from them by space aliens and so them acting like they're not good at basketball is so unconvincing because you know they're just being silly um but you know when this stuff was when the basketball juice was coming out of them they all did this like crazy same dance and uh i think sean bradley is in there and he's a tall guy he's seven foot seven i don't know if he had much basketball ability to begin with i think he maybe just he was tall he was tall and he was probably not affected he's a full-time actor now um but yeah the uh uh so like the other thing about it is looney tunes don't work together you know what i mean like they're all separate storylines there's no crossover well like bugs bunny never shows up in a wily coyote but he does bugs and daffy are in the same one and and fudd elmer fudd and fudd yes

fudd and uh yosemite sam but you know like the chicken guy he doesn't he only interacts with like a dog or whatever uh-huh kind of exciting mashups yeah it is like it's but the looney tunes are treated like they're all like a band of the same like the muppets where it's like you guys all work you guys all are in the same clubhouse right yeah actually they have very separate lives was is peppy lepew and the cat in it peppy lepew is in it and he only has two lines and one of them is him putting a clothespin on his nose because he smells something gross i don't know like it's supposed to be like really turn that on his head yeah yeah and uh and like yeah uh newman is the coach and uh and bill murray's in it for a while and uh it's it's weird it's probably one of the weirder movies i've seen

because it was based on a commercial i found out I didn't realize that's where it came from. Oh, there's a commercial where Michael Jordan and Bugs Bunny are playing basketball together. And that's like and it was for Nike or something. And then they were like, I think that's a juicy enough premise. There's something here. They had a real will they or won't they vibe. Yeah, they're like in the boardroom and they're like, well, we have a dynamic on our hands yeah exactly we didn't think it would be so good but yeah yeah we have the most famous person in the world and a 100 year old cartoon let's give the people what they want

for a change yeah can you think can you think of an ad that you've seen ever that you're like this could be a show this could be a whole show. I feel like local ads that are done by a family that own a furniture store, that feels like it could be a show. Please come to the furniture store. It's nice. And then they're like, and cut. They're like, I love you. I don't know. They have a weird life.

I would love that. And then they're like, don't talk. We have to get rid of that body that we or whatever like it's like a murder it's a murder show and they're all like have weird like canadian accents i'd love that i feel like there's two or three local plate like there's a place called potters that maybe just sells pots and they do a christmas commercial every year year where Santa is shopping at the store and the kid, the kid is like, what?

And Santa goes, shush. This is where I get all the best toys. Is that the potting store? Yeah. This potting store. Yeah. It's,

uh, it's weird. That's a real meme unto itself. The Santa shushing a kid or, Oh yeah. Or like, It's weird. That's a real meme unto itself. The Santa shushing a kid or winking at a kid. Or like, could we get the full Santa and the M&M's commercial? Oh, with the sexy M&M? Having sex?

No, with the Santa. I mean, I guess that maybe you think they're sexy, but it's just the regular two. Isn't it the green one? Yeah, this isn't the green one. But the other two, I guess, are sexy in their own way. Yeah. But yeah, the sexy M&M's. Isn't't there two sexy m&ms or is there just the one i feel like the one that's just like a fudge what i'm talking about is santa comes down the chimney and the uh the two m&ms are like he is real and santa sees the two m&ms and he's like they are real and he faints and that's so cute

oh yes oh that's really cute and this is a like a 20 year old commercial because they still play it and it's not in hd yes which i'm uh i'm opposed to i don't think it's that iconic a commercial that they can't remake it they can't get santa back that's the thing these guys don't have a laser printer even probably yeah exactly this is uh yeah you're a tech dude i feel like yeah i'm a real tech dude i know the difference between hd and old tv and drone for your daughter and you have a laser printer i mean this is your technology man yeah this is upwards of $150 worth of stuff. That's a lot. That's true.

I have to go over to a friend's house to do this. That's how much I don't have technology. And I have to go to a bagel place to print something if I need. I'm analog gal and you're technology man. Where do you go to drone? Honestly, I don't even know yet. I haven't even, like like my brain hasn't even like introduced me to the idea of that i could personally drone something i honestly don't

know if i know anyone else who has a drone but my friends have my friends have drones they got them and they're like in the production and they're like and so they're learning how to use them so that way they can um you know get hired to like like a shoot shoot stuff for people but i'm like oh so what do you guys and so i'm always like hey do you guys like want to to like, like a shoot, shoot stuff for people. But I'm like, Oh, so what do you guys? And so I'm always like, Hey, do you guys like,

want to just like make a short together with only drones? Like, I don't want to pay you, but you just like, you just shoot me doing something for my Instagram. It's not the most lucrative offer they've ever had, but like but they drone you should ask if you can just have a quick pass you know like me drone yeah i don't

know they're so into their training i feel like but i'm gonna i'll try i will i'm gonna ask can you attach oh here's a fun idea just like attach different things to it but functionally not just like deliver a note, but put a razor on it and see if you can drone someone's head. Or shave their face. Yeah, that would be cool if you could get that minute

movement. Did the most recent did the most recent jackass movie come out and did it have drones in it? It hasn't come out yet I don't think but I'm sure there's drone there's gotta be drone prank yeah yeah

yeah drones just like banging into their balls or something yeah yeah like I'm gonna jump off I'm gonna jump off and then ball first into this drone I feel like that's what jackass is um do you guys want to move on to some overheards yeah overheard overheards a segment overheard and we have been told in the interim

that uh sarah's laptop battery is at 12 percent i'm sorry we may lose her yeah but we're gonna try we're you know what we always like to start with the guests so sarah can uh kick this off and then if she vanishes we got it on record um so sarah do you have an overheard oh yeah also i can also talk to you guys on my phone right i can just like anyways we'll figure it out yeah i don't know you're the tech guy no you're the tech guy i'm the analog gal i i don't know but what's your what's your overhead okay this is like an overheard from like a long time ago this is probably this is like a vintage overheard i was um in my like early 20s and it was on new year's day and i was walking around with my friend steph and we were having

one of those it was like a new year's day where we're like so hungover and we're like looking for a place to go eat and every single like place we went had like no table like nobody could seat us and so we were like it was getting to the point where we were like so hungry and so silly and then we're like basically talking about how we're like oh my god new year's is so we're just like coming to the first time realization in life that new year's is overrated right yeah it was like we just this was our first time learning this and we're like oh my god and then we're kind of like talking about how it was so nuts and then we're like everything is like we're like new year's is like so high stakes and then we heard this girl walking by us on her phone i don't know if this is funny it was funny to us in the moment but like she's like that we're like man new year's is just so

over overhyped like it's so nuts how dramatic it is and then this girl's on her phone walking by us and she's just holding the phone and yelling into it going you lied to me you lied to me you lied to me and then we laughed so hard because we're like what happened to her anyways yeah her resolution was to be more dramatic and wild on the floor like it's just like everybody just the nuttiest things just trying to have the best night of their life and then we're like what the hell happened to her like we're at least just making food but you lied to me and then we're like i don't know that's dramatic because then you're you're

you're finding out the whole you know relationship in that one short sentence I've never really been confronted with that what? I wiggle out of lying to people I wasn't lying I just didn't know that's not even a printer it's just a

it's just a box I lied to you about that yeah it's a cooler. All of the pages I pull out are all just handwritten. I printed you off a little coloring page. Yeah. Stick figure.

Dave, do you have an overheard? Mine is an overseen. Last week on the show, Canada just had an election and Graham was talking about this candidate for the people's party party of canada yeah and uh this fringe weirdo party and this one candidate has uh his whole platform is semen retention oh my god this makes the country with semen retention he believes you should hold on to it hold it tight don't don't let it get out yeah and so i i

googled if this was in fact true and and I came upon an article, so to speak, and it had this correction in the article. And it said, update. A previous version of this said that Pereira claimed to be able to breathe through his testicles. This was incorrect. Pereira actually claims to be able to breathe into his testicles this was incorrect carrera actually claims to be able to breathe into his testicles yes that's good to make that that's a good retraction that's a good uh oh sarah's figured it out she's got a whole now we've got sarah on the phone now is that okay or is that yeah yeah let's see what are you at on what's your uh computer at now it says that

it's gonna go to sleep soon unless i plug it in yeah all right we've got we've got you on the other screen so i think this will work yeah the uh there was also a guy there was a guy named brock shock i think was one of the that was the people's party in toronto center was a guy named brock shock and his picture looked like somebody had just taken him off guard and got like a paparazzi shot of him and that was his official picture that was his official picture he's like yeah it's uh it was not flattering yeah i didn't actually check to see how many votes Mr. Semen retention got. Oh, he won his seat.

He, he dominated and everybody was like, we shouldn't have laughed at him because more Canada believes in semen retention than we thought. He's going to be very uncomfortable. It is the seat that he's going to be always shifting. He needs a special seat where they like cut out the bottom for him yeah um what's your overheard my overheard is uh i saw a couple walking by a movie theater and you know the like coming attraction posters uh was a movie called dear evan hansen and uh it was a man and woman walking together and she

she said to the man we are not going to see that i think she was heading something off at the pass i saw an ad for that and i was like oh because i was like oh maybe i'll go see that it's at the local movie theater i haven't been to a movie in a year and a half maybe i'll go see that and then i realized it's not about a plane landing in newfoundland um yeah apparently like the guy in the movie is the same guy that did it on broadway but it's about a high school and he doesn't look like a high schooler it's the most demented thing i've ever seen in my life like for people to like decide that that's like for people to go with them to take the leap of faith that that guy's in high school is just like hilarious nobody can handle it he looks like he's 43 and he's always running around the hall

being like i have issues and we're like this is upsetting it's basically upsetting it is upsetting it was like watching cats cats was very upsetting to watch it felt weird the whole time i wanted i want i wish i saw cats in the theater before the pandemic that seemed like it would have been so funny it was it was i made my whole family go to it when i was visiting at christmas we like oh cute each year somebody else gets to pick a movie and I pick cats and everybody was so mad at me, but we still talk about it to this day. It's still funny.

Um, but yeah, it was, it was unsettling, you know, uh, talk about it in between episodes of, of 90 day fiance.

That's right. Yeah. Remember? Hey mom, remember anyway, get out. I'm watching this, uh,

loser try to marry a russian lady um now we also have overheard sent in to us from people all over the world if you want to send one into us send it into spy at maximum fun.org and this first one um uh this one comes from Joanne L. in Toronto. I was walking into the grocery store as a young guy and a girl were walking out. The girl said to him in all earnestness, that's the beauty of mason jars. The mason jars

I bought. They're so versatile. You can use them to bathe a cat or hold some flowers. Wow. Bathe a cat? Do you fit the whole cat in a mason jar yeah or you scoop up and then pour it on its head or something you can do that with a ladle as well but mason jar will will do in a pinch right um you guys have any mason jars i'm drinking out of one right now yeah we i've got a few i used to have a nice five minute bit on mason jars i've retired it so

oh yeah you retired in in favor of like more just glasses just straight up glasses i mean i think i i do oh she retired the bit sorry yeah i thought you meant you retired your mason jars oh no no no i yeah i still use them but there was something that really felt like it like it was like a real like life hack for all of us when we first discovered them we're like wait a minute these are great you can put a lid on it we're fine yeah we're gonna be okay and they're cheap it can be a vase they look they look cute with it it can be both a vase and a vase yeah absolutely you put a little twine around them have a rural rustic wedding that was the whole that was my whole bit circled around was people being like sarah let's hear the bit i

honestly i haven't done in the years but i just remembered that the whole thing was like all about weddings and being like mason jars like that's what ties the whole wedding together yeah because it like you can't really put a ribbon around it or whatever right oh gosh i don't remember put a ribbon or put some of those like uh twinkling lights oh yeah oh yeah yeah or like you know fill them up with candy or whatever is it those it's you bathe a cat at your wedding the uh what do masons use them for great question that is a great question they are their that's their signature jar yeah that's true and what are masons again are they

like brick builders brick layers yeah they were like stone free masons yeah they were stone guys stone guys and gals oh no they think they were just guys i don't know if there are any gals in the Mason, but you know what? There's always hope. Well, there was Mason Gamble who, uh, he played, uh,

Dennis the menace. He was, he was in Rushmore. What was his name? Mason Gamble. Oh, Mason Gamble. Um,

my nephew is named Mason and, uh, Mason jars, the three bigs in the Holy Trinity. Yeah, sure. And Mason jars, the three bigs. Holy Trinity. Yeah, exactly. Yes. This next one comes from Mark in Seattle.

Two friends are catching up. One woman is explaining that her and her boyfriend have recently opened up their relationship. She then says, don't ever tell him that I said this, but I think he had his queer sexual awakening after seeing the movie Avatar. And without missing a beat, she goes, uh, duh, who hasn't? Okay, that's so weird. Like, everybody's just horny for blue. Like, none of those people have actually... That was the slogan of the movie, was Avatar, you'll be horny for blue. This Christmas, you'll be horny for blue.

Yeah, they didn't go to see the blue man group i guess waited for waited for avatar to get their blue on yeah exactly and they go to the blue man group just to have something like tactile to actually go on a date with and they they're super funny on their date like they make popcorn blow all over the place or something like that i don't know what the blue man group does what are they do they do stuff like that it's like clown work like they come out with like really shocked eyes and look around at stuff and then slowly discover a pipe and then move the pipe around and then it makes a fun noise and then they really get into it yeah okay that's kind of what i thought it was like clown turns um i i i looked up the uh the guy the semen retention guy yeah he um he came in fourth

he came in fourth he did come after all he got 2000 votes 2001 votes that's pretty good yeah in uh in uh new brunswick um well congratulations that guy here's to 2000 more here's to a platform based on semen retention yeah exactly we didn't think it would happen and here we are here we are yeah and we're all the better for it if you ask yeah um this last one comes from alex parts unknown i'm currently watching a movie with my children when the following exchange happened five-year-old this is really boring nine-year-old just wait they're gonna shrink the kids oh my god that's so cute i love what movie do you think it was um i don't know avatar when i had my sexual awakening yeah well i met like imagine seeing a movie that like told you something about yourself so dramatically like i think why

not avatar you know what i mean makes sense it's really fantastical like people want to unlock their imagination into fantasy yeah and then all of a sudden you're like huh every other things are unlocking and then yeah you're like oh my god so in my fantasy the boobs can be pretty big and like you know what congratulations to that person and also to future people who will catch it when the eight sequels come out all at once yeah well they keep promising yeah well i don't want to die before it happens you understand oh well that's one more reason to live another day brother brother. That's right. In addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us, our phone number is 1-844-779-7631.

That's one, ugh, spy pod, one like these people have. Hey, Dave and Graham and possible guests. This is Jason in Baltimore with an overheard. So this summer I went to a gay campground on the East Coast. And as you can imagine, there was a lot of hanky-panky going on all the time in the forest and some outbuildings on the property. Anyway, I overheard a rather bearish guy at the campsite next to us say, Bruce, I think I left my Yeti cup in the head shed

alright thanks the head shed I didn't hear a word of it so it was this guy was at a I didn't hear I saw the thing the bar going across and I saw Graham enjoying it so much but I didn't hear it

at all to summarize it was a guy who had gone to a gay summer camp and he overheard a bear looking guy saying I lost my yeti cup I think it was in the head shed because there was so much

hanky panky going on so there you go you got it oh I like that so much so I guess it wasn't a children's camp this is for adult gays I guess this is adult gays yeah I hope anyway yeah

that's true the caller didn't make that clear but you know we jump and that's alright to jump to and good for us for making the jump. Yeah, exactly. Maybe I'll try the next phone call this way. Dave and Graham and socially distant guests. This is Joe in Oklahoma.

I'm calling with an overheard of the kids say the darndest variety. The other day I was in my kitchen with my wife and my two daughters, one of whom is too young to talk. The other one I was in my kitchen with my wife and my two daughters, one of whom is too young to talk. The other one is five. We were joking around, just kind of calling each other silly names. I called my wife. I said, you're a butt. My wife, in return, said, well, you're a fart.

Then I called her a turd. a fart um then i called her a turd and after that my five-year-old daughter interrupted and said guys guys all of us are toilets and that is it that's right we're all made of star stuff yeah yeah the daughter did have the best line yeah yeah exactly like excellent everybody else was just setting up that yeah punch yeah and she's a real peacekeeper in the house that's right guys settle down we're all toilet that's so funny yes yeah all right and here is your final phone call hi dave and graham and gorgeous guest uh this is allison in New Jersey and I'm calling with an overheard. We've been getting a generator installed

and the air conditioning broke and some very bro-y electricians have been here trying to fix it. They keep calling each other bro and they're pretty young and I just heard one tell the other one that's my boy.

Set it to 69. So anyways, have a good one. That's pretty good. Yeah. That's pretty cute. That's the classic funny number. Yeah, it is. It's like 69, 420.

666 is fine. Oh, yeah. 666 is fine. Oh, yeah. 666 is cool. Sarah, have you had any trouble adjusting to Fahrenheit down in America? Oh, my God. You don't even know. I'm like, only we'll do Canadian. I will only do Celsius.

People are like, oh, high 80s. I'm like, cool, cool. Then I open up my phone and it's still set on Celsius, so i really know whether it's how it is smart for me that's smart yeah i know people just add 30 or something i'm like i'm not listening yeah you lost me an ad my ears are open but i'm not listening well that uh brings us to the end of this here episode. Sarah, thank you so much for being a guest. Thanks for having me.

You two are just wonderful people, and I really appreciate being on the show today. Yeah, we appreciate having you on the show. And I will say that your album from a few years ago has my favorite title and cover photo. Because it's you, like, pulling down your sunglasses, and it's all done in 80s kind of lettering and it's called trouble in saradice which i thought checking my album everybody yeah exactly it's on great it's on uh spotify and all that kind of stuff yeah oh yes and your short film which made it into No Budge, will be debuting on November 4th? Yeah, it's called Artist Retreat. And you can see the trailer on my YouTube if you want.

But I'm really pumped that it's going to be on No Budge. Are you Sarah Hennessey on YouTube? Sure am. Nice. Now, remember, there's a Hennessey S-E-Y. Because before the show, we accidentally invited someone with a different email address to this zoom call i get their emails too they're like thank you for coming to this corporate retreat here's all the information you need to know and i'm like wrong sarah well she might show up she

still might show up to this zoom call yeah i get i get uh messages for a woman named pam i like she and she's part of a church. Like she's the treasurer on the church board. But then maybe, I guess she probably shares her husband's gram and they share an email. That's a nice parent vibe. Yeah, exactly.

Is she Pam Clark? No, it doesn't say last name. They just say, Hey Pam, that was great what you did. That was so great what you did. I just want you to know we appreciate it. And you're like, um, yeah, Pam, that was great what you did. That was so great what you did. I just want you to know we appreciate it.

And you're like, um, not Pam. I'm going to take the praise, even though it wasn't me, but I will accept that praise. I do get doctor phone calls to confirm my appointment for a woman named Marianne all the time. And I'm like, I'm not Marianne. In fact, my voicemail says it's Sarah. But they're always like, Marianne, your appointment is confirmed for tomorrow. And I'm like, what if not Marianne. In fact, my voicemail says it's Sarah. But they're always like, Marianne, your appointment

is confirmed for tomorrow. And I'm like, what if it's something serious? Yeah, I always get doctor calls telling me I need a brain surgery because I'm so crazy with the things I say on my podcast. Your brain's too big and cool and we have to do surgery.

We gotta have it. Yeah. We gotta study you, i'm like i'm not marianne uh thanks everybody for listening to the show um out there in the wide wide world you know uh things can get real weird and when the weird get going the weird stays sober and so thanks for listening and come on back next week for another episode of stop podcasting yourself maximum fun.org comedy and culture artist owned audience supported