Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 715 - Dino Archie
Episode Date: November 30, 2021Comedian Dino Archie returns to talk parades, getting recognized, and makeup....
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Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself.
Woo!
Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 715 of Stop Podcasting Yourself.
My name's Graham Clark and the man who's with me as always is a man
who's enjoying his Thanksgiving American style, Mr. Dave Shumka.
Yeah, I'm, you know, watching domed football games.
Yes.
The march of the,
you know,
the,
the balloons.
Yes.
The March of the balloons.
I didn't really know.
That sounds like a Star Wars movie.
Yeah.
I didn't really know what American Thanksgiving was until like,
I think I got,
I stayed home sick one day in November in like grade six.
And it was like, oh wow. They, this is, there's nothing, I stayed home sick one day in November in grade 6,
and it was like, oh, wow, there's no game shows on TV right now.
Yeah, but, you know, that balloon, the March of the Balloons is pretty... I mean, nothing is more boring than a parade.
Our guest today, return guest here to the podcast,
he is oh so funny, you can hear him on his own podcast strictly beloved podcast it's dino archie
yeah that's him just dumping off a diving board that's yeah
uh should we get to know us sure get to know us so dino we are you are american yes you've done thanksgiving
in november your whole life but you're joining us from canada so there's nothing happening
yeah you can't buy a turkey here green beans are 27 a bag those are the two ones that i
remember yes um but i want to talk about your parades though okay your parades multiple parades
that you brought up my i my older brother he's really i found out he was secretly into parades. Pretty funny.
Yeah.
Cause he's like,
you know how some people accuse me of being cool or something.
It's really a slur.
It's a slur.
Slur,
man.
First of all,
no,
I don't.
I haven't been following you that closely.
I know how people talk about me.
I know the rumors.
They're not true.
My brother, he's cool.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That guy's cool.
That's always been the case.
Right?
Everyone has a cool, well, not everyone.
I got a cool older brother, and his name's T-Zell.
That's a cool name.
T-Zell is a good name.
Nobody's named that.
Yeah, my older brother's name is mark yeah yeah
that's uh that's a name that you know you're gonna hear it a lot of places you gotta know
some marks you hate know some marks you like i don't know any t-zells though yeah me neither
that's uh right it's a power name it's a cool name it's like he would name a cat that yes maybe like a leopard a leopard yeah or it sounds
like it's something from a sci-fi futuristic you know yes yeah the chosen one yeah exactly yeah
yeah that was like the t-zell should have been the one casted in doom yes yeah t-cell chalamet yeah that guy looks like a mark
no offense to marks but yeah yeah he's got mark energy no he does look like a timothée
yeah so this guy he's too cool to watch but I'm back home one of these holidays. I think one of the last Thanksgiving I was back home maybe four years ago, four or five years ago, because I'm always working on Thanksgiving because I don't I didn't care about Thanksgiving.
mom's house and my brother's watching a local parade not like macy's not any of the big time was i'm talking about not even from fresno we were from fresno it was a selma parade like the
smaller one of those small towns and and he's watching it it still made it to tv i love that
yeah that's it and he's shit but he's shit talking he's like look at this old
weak-ass parade man this is they don't even got no good flows. I was like, yeah, just change the channel.
But I noticed he wasn't changing it. And then my mom was like my mom.
When she ever when she she's when she knows something like when she sits on secrets and then when the time's right, she yells it out.
So the time was right. She she goes your brother likes parades it was it was so damn funny and i looked i said you're not changing the
channel you like parades and then he he said man he came clean he goes yeah i like a local parade
i said go ahead your local parade yeah he's bad mouth oh look at these floats are trash oh you know a lot of them have potential
yeah you know what um i've seen my some of these people might end up in bigger parades maybe you
know um yeah i uh uh the big parade in calgary growing up was the stampede parade and it was
half families with kids half absolutely blasted adults and it was uh you know it was a lot
of horses it was mostly horses all the floats were like td bank is here for you and yeah that
kind of thing yeah yeah yeah the parade uh those big parade the calgary the stampede seems like it
sounds like a family event but it's it's like a grown mma like roadhouse yeah like a
road if roadhouse was a parade yes that is a very good way of uh the whole event is roadhouse really
i mean because you know they got that monster truck in roadhouse uh that's kind of yeah yeah
they've got do they have pancake breakfasts in roadhouse well you never see eat pancakes, but it's implied because he's always got syrup on him.
It's my understanding that that's a big part of the stampede.
It is.
You are correct.
Are there a lot of fights that break out or are people too full of pancakes?
There's not a lot of fights breaking out at the pancake breakfast, but boy, oh boy, the midway kind of past 11 o'clock watch out because there's
gonna be lots of vomit and uh you know a brutal brawl or two um you know have you ever been to a
parade that you liked where you're like this actually is a good parade or you just completely
you're and no man every every parade is an inconvenience that best at best it's an inconvenience uh you know living downtown
they do the they do the christmas parade and i live i live on berard so if you if you're not
already on this side you're not getting where you need to go you just stuck until the parade is done and no one asked you no one said it made another route for you yeah they're like you all have to
deal with this parade and then everyone at the parade you know they can't even and the kids
are the last ones that can see it's a bunch of grown adults with their ipads out like weirdos losers.
Let's just call them what it is,
man.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean,
uh,
you know what?
I'd watch a St.
Patrick's day one in Boston.
I would watch one of those.
Yeah.
Live.
I'm not on,
but I watched the St.
Patrick's day one in Chicago.
If I was trying to catch the fugitive.
Yes.
Yeah.
That's a good one too.
Just go on a,
like start in Boston and then in the
afternoon go to chicago and then round it up probably they have one in new york right
yeah i've never the big one in vancouver is the pride parade but i've uh and then that seems like
it's a lot of you know corporate floats as well being like hey we're a bank, but we'll take gay money. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And it's like, there's not a lot of floats like floats as I think of them with like big, you know, cartoon characters or dragon.
Yeah, it's just some employees from the bank.
Yeah.
In the back of a pickup truck.
Throwing pens with chains on it to the kids
um yeah you see you live you live smack in the middle of downtown yeah i mean i'm in the mix
man i'm close to the water though so oh nice that's good that's where you want to be if you're
in vancouver that's where you want to be you know the only the only rub is the sirens too loud i get a lot of sirens out here too and i i've
grown to appreciate them because that was the only thing i could do there's no other way did you
because we uh abby's aunt sheila visited us a couple years years ago with her two sons and they live in the south of Sweden.
And it's just like rural, not rural.
It's a small town.
But it's they the one thing the sons were like, there is a siren all the time here.
How do you deal with it?
And I was like, I don't even notice.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. They were like Tom Hanks't even notice. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
They were like Tom Hanks on his first day.
Big.
Yeah.
The city is scary.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We've just given up,
man.
Not,
not me,
man.
I still am.
I just want them to turn it down.
Yeah.
That's it.
Let it run all you want.
That's all I'm asking.
Yeah.
Let it run 24 hours just put it yeah just put
it on 24 hours and we'll just always be ready to get out of the way yeah yeah yeah let's just turn
it down brother have you ever seen somebody like really not know how to turn off into the
the side of the street and they're just like they're like diagonal and they're like backing
up you can tell that they're panicking i feel like people don't get out of the way
uh as much like a lot of people i'm already in the left lane you want me to go over to the right
lane and then over more maybe i'll go a little in the right lane. Yeah. But I feel like it's maybe because of car alarms.
People are so used to ignoring car alarms now.
That's true.
That like the first guy with a car alarm must've been like,
gotcha.
I got the guy stealing my car.
And everyone.
Sweden.
Yeah.
No,
I,
it depends on what city you're in too.
This city has too much respect for sirens
when i lived in uh inglewood they don't pull over you just gotta just you just gotta ride
ride with them more cars start pulling out
yeah because if you don't get out of the way of a of a police car well they there's not they're
not gonna like give you a ticket they have somewhere else to be like you can't really
get in trouble right right but then you're pushing your your karma but then some people
get out of the way too damn much and now they're in the way yeah that's true yeah that's the
yeah i just like the expression on anybody's face that's
like so stressed out by this like like at best 10 second transaction i like uh they are too loud
when you're like as pedestrian oh yeah it is deafening and i feel like i feel like a little baby kid being like covering my ears
pouting to see a grown person do that yeah it is from sound you look so weak it's so funny
but it's true but it's okay it's too loud yeah so i've been telling my girl this for a year trying to get her on my too loud team
and she's just like man you know that's cool or whatever you know i got yeah so you got to pick
your i love it i love it when they do just the yeah to get through an intersection oh
and like i've heard i don't know if's true, does the fire department have some kind of special remote that changes lights from red to green or green to red so that they can.
I don't believe it.
Yeah, it's just something I heard from somebody.
What are they, Seth Green in the Italian job?
I don't get it at all.
That's one of the heists that he did.
Yeah, to do that.
He was the original Napster.
Oh, cool.
Seth Green.
You know what?
No, just drop the green and call it Seth.
He had that original hacker look down.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I watched a bit of a movie called The Net.
Have you ever seen The Net?
I tried to watch i tried to watch
it again because i remembered it being good and then i the first 15 minutes i was like it was
sandra bullock was sandra bullock and yeah i watched about the same i watched the first 15
20 minutes and then i got distracted or had to go but um of all the hacky things that she's doing
right out of the gate she's doing all sorts of hacking the hacky things that she's doing right out of the gate, she's doing all sorts of hacking and
you can tell that she's, like all the other hackers that around her
are so ugly. And then she's just like a hot, hot hacker.
A black hat hacker. We need a black hat hacker.
Like Chris Hemsworth. What does that mean? He's got a black hat?
Chris Hemsworth was in a
hacking movie a few years ago called black hat and just in the trailer said we need a black hat
hacker and then it was a picture then he had a black hat i don't think he had a black hat but
he might as well have they do that i think you have a black hat um what were the big 90s computer movies there was hackers yeah there was the net there was johnny
mnemonic the virtuosity ah virtuosity there was lawnmower man oh yeah lawnmower man that was like
a that was like a virtual reality one right yeah um yeah what are the other i can't think well
would you call well no i wouldn't say enemy of the state was a hacker.
No,
that sounds like that's,
that is kind of,
cause it's,
everybody's being,
uh,
you know,
monitored.
So it's like,
they have to figure out how to get away from the monitor.
There's a scene in that movie where he goes to a lingerie store and the lady is like,
Oh,
how about this?
And like shows him some of her,
like wearing the lingerie yeah and then he throws it up because will smith doesn't he doesn't like to coming makes him
nauseous wait is this something new things the outtakes of that movie this is a new thing i
think i saw a tweet about that but didn't know the context tell me there's yeah there's just a that's all you saw was all you he's really going out there and just pouring it all out for everybody
for for a movie that like i guess he thinks it's going to be like his oscar his chance at an oscar
so why not tell all of your crazy secrets he's thought that the last five movies but no one
wants to see Concussion.
I watched some of Concussion. It was pretty good.
Have you seen Headache?
There's a movie called Headache.
Really? Is it the prequel?
There's a movie called The Migraine.
You'll love it.
This one, this new one,
King Richard,
I worry, because I go play
tennis with my daughter yeah and i worry that
now it's going to be harder to get a court because dads will see this movie and be like i'm gonna get
my daughter played tennis yeah yeah because this is a movie about a dad being the hero well you're
living it you're living this already even though it's like about one of the two of the greatest
athletes ever but the dad gotta you gotta give it to the
dad yeah you gotta give it up for the dad and it's just like they're them as kids right like the
the story behind the yeah i don't know like um i don't know anything about tennis i will never
watch a movie that has tennis in it unless uh it's just like a scene of tennis but you you like you like a tennis film oh yeah like borg
mackinrow i liked uh the what the steve carell um emma stone one about the battle of the sexes yeah
yeah yeah that's really it those are the three yeah yeah yeah royal tannin bombs had had a
tennis player in it yeah yeah yeah that one scene where he has a
breakdown i thought that was great that was yeah there's a new wes anderson film too we both saw
it yeah i am and i both saw where'd you see it at the park theater canby street at the park theater
all right say say less say no more yeah i close the laptop i go see it right now yeah just leave a you know tape
recorder running or something like that did you do you ever play tennis what was your sport
if you played any sports what was your go-to who me yeah i know d know Dave, he's a tennis head through and through. I played all the sports, man.
Yeah.
I wasn't great.
I wasn't great at it.
The only one I really had some stuff in was baseball.
Okay.
Yeah.
What position?
I was the third base, third baseman.
Okay.
I liked Ozzie.
I liked Ozzie Smith from the Cardinals.
And I played for the cardinals and our team had the worst record in the league every year we were the bad they would call us
the bad news bears and so rude yeah it was rude but our team was kind of like we were toxic we
were fun like we all the bad kids from whatever their respective neighborhoods were
on my team yeah it's a really hard scrabble you had to use an oven mitt instead of a catcher's mitt
yeah man it was it was uh yeah use your shirt just to pick up a ground ball you could do that
i mean who hasn't tried to catch a ball in their hat oh yeah yeah you do that the
the bucket uh yeah the willie mays bucket catch uh yeah baseball was my sport man because you get to
it's a lot of hanging out and i like to hang out man i like that hang where you get to you
chilling baseball's the funnest one man they they do handshakes and just make a fun a bunch of fun
games in the dugout oh yeah i didn't ever think about that you could probably have a game of risk
going in there for they play they play man those highlights they play cards and do all sorts of
goofball they grab ass a lot of grab ass my favorite game i feel like it's uh i feel like it's a sport where if you're good it
doesn't matter if your team is bad like because you it's like you you get to just go head to head
with a pitcher and then if a ball comes to you you get to play it in the field and then uh other
than that it's like it's not like i play hockey now and and i'm worried like oh am i the bad guy on my line or my line mate's gonna hate me
because like you know if a third of your line sucks then you're gonna have a bad time yeah
yeah that's why i think that's another reason why i was i was very good at it because of that
you you it's just you and if you're if you're at their base, I kind of know, by the way, the pitcher, by the way, the hitter is legs bent.
When I know where it's going, I was like on. I really studied it.
And yeah, you could shine. I was great. I was one of the best players in my team.
Stunt. We lost all the time and I didn't care. I didn't have that Jordan mentality of like, oh, we lost.
I'm like snacks, you know, right after the show.
Remember that you do the you do the tunnel.
You know what I mean? The losers and the winners.
You do the tunnel. If everyone runs through it.
That was fun, man. It is. Yeah, that was a good time.
So, yeah, but I played a baseball and then I switched to basketball.
I did the reverse Michael Jordan. I played a baseball and then I switched to basketball. I,
I,
yeah,
I made the reverse Michael Jordan.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I made the classic mistake,
man,
of,
of,
of,
I shouldn't win rapper if I really wanted to make it out of the hood,
but I chose basketball.
I didn't grow up in the hood either.
So I didn't need to do either.
I should have just paid attention in school.
Yeah. Now I don't like to play like Dave, you playing with hockey team.
That's why I wouldn't want to play basketball now, because it does seem pressure some when you're with a group of you need a team.
You need to be a part of a team. And I, I don't.
Yeah. Like I follow this Instagram account, House of Highlights, that they'll show you great things that happen in professional sports.
But then in the offseason, you'll see like just amateurs playing at the gym or just like high school players.
suck at basketball and like someone makes you fall down yeah when you're defending and like you like break your ankles falling over you're going to be seen by millions of people now yeah yeah
like i remember being going out for the basketball team i made the basketball team easily the worst
person on the team and the first day that i came into the gym, there was a guy dribbling between his legs. And I was like, oh, Jesus Christ.
Just for that, that that's like, oh, man, the fact that there's one guy here that can do that.
But, you know, I had a lot of heart and a lot of heart.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's that's why I don't play, man.
You you could back then there was no cameras you could get if you get humiliated this
it just remember that one time you know uh dude broke your ankles and dunked on you
we was in his nuts was in your face for 20 years you could just but then you forget about it but
now to go through high school and not have that and then to be a grown man and put yourself in that position.
Yeah.
It's not wise.
Like I even without cameras around, I'm able to like replay bad memories pretty easily.
But like I haven't done stand up in a decade, but I remember some pretty bad.
there's also like uh i'm thankful very thankful every year that i was not like youtube and whatnot wasn't around when i was a teenager because i know i would have made a fucking mess of that
and then you know you can delete it but somebody's got it out there if you put it on youtube somebody's
got it yeah so do you guys do you guys cut slack when when somebody let's say like, let's just pick anybody.
Let's say, not anybody, but
some celebrity singer
like Shawn Mendes.
Sure, Shawn Mendes. You know that as just
a guy, you know. Yeah, Lyle and Eric
Menendez. Yeah, one of the Menendez
brothers. Yeah.
If they tweeted,
if it came out that one of the Menendez
was, did a racist tweet when they were 12.
Oh, the menendezes are canceled.
He was young.
They were kids.
Yeah, no, it's very scary thinking about what, like how you could
just thinking about myself
like what I would have done
yeah and kids now that will grow up
they'll be like man oh man
am I glad that we didn't have that
thing where you can read our thoughts
because that sucks now
my kids like to they like to poke around on uh youtube and you know we'll supervise sure uh
but uh i discovered this tv show on disney plus about young youtubers a scripted show yeah uh
starring a young olivia rodrigo oh yes It's called Bizaardvark
It's about Olivia Rodrigo and her friend
Are like young
Kind of video makers
And also on the show
Jake Paul
Oh really?
Yeah just as an actor
He's not there as a boxer?
No but it's like
I feel so old not knowing that
how much of our culture could be traced back to bizarre dark yeah i dumped this is the first i'm
hearing about this check it out it's but is it for kid what age group is it for it's for like
10 year olds okay maybe 12 year olds but yeah 10 and 12 year olds have never had it so
good are you kidding me with all the choices we there was no sit there were no kid sitcoms
i mean i guess uh what's the one with the robot girl that was kind of a good sitcom
uh small one small wonder yeah well boy meets girl yeah that's true boy meets girl world
is it boy meets world yeah well there was what was
the like uh later version they rebooted it was a girl meets world yes i didn't know i missed so i
feel like i've missed about 10 to 20 years of it's okay you don't need to ever you don't need to
watch the reboots of children's shows because they're still because you're a grown-up now and
i don't have kids so i'm a pervert if i do that somehow. It's really weird. It's true. If you know too much about
Bazaardvark then people are going to start talking.
Yeah, when my
girl's niece
came to
visit, they're so damn cute
and all of that, but she was talking about
Paw Patrol. I was like, nah man, we're watching
Casino. We're watching
good movies over here.
We're reading a book.
See that guy Joe Pesci?
He's about your height.
Nikki's about to break the code.
You don't mow another man's lawn.
You know what I'm saying?
No, we're not watching that.
Girls, you're going to read Infinite Jest today.
You're going to learn a little something.
And listen to jazz
oh man that would be the worst punishment for a kid
just make them listen to jazz oh man
um oh my god man the um
there's a guy that he's like one of the producers he's produced like i i carly in about
six or seven of those shows oh no i know where this is well it's just he there's nothing has
come out about him but i'm like tick tick tick tick tick guy oh like there's nothing nothing
but he like there's you know whispers i guess but there's nothing i thought stuff had
come out about him uh it's oh you're is it dan schneider yeah dan schneider did he did something
happen with him man let's just call him what he he's a pervert man you don't need the well he was
what's the point of he was he was an actor before he was on head of the class yeah yeah i read about
that pervert that guy's i have no evidence but that guy's a creep man
let's get it let's just play the odds you know what i mean we we could be wrong
allegedly but i'll say that he's a creep allegedly so yeah i opened his wikipedia and there's no like
heading for creep no yeah he's like he's like taken off of projects because look, it's spicy and dicey with this guy.
Yeah, that's right.
It's don't hang up.
Although he could make my daughter a star.
Yeah, that's the thing.
No, I was watching.
I watched a documentary by the guy who played Bill in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.
Alex Winter. Alex Winter. documentary by the guy who played bill and bill and ted's excellent adventure about alex winter alex winter he he's a director and he made a movie about kid stars yeah yeah and the the
there's one storyline of a mom and a kid going down to la for pilot season and uh
it's so weird it's the weirdest thing that you'd be like, I'm going to let a kid, uh, decide our course, you know, what we're going to do next.
In LA, in the toughest city, the most treacherous city in all of the land.
That's crazy.
I wonder, like, it's weird that I wonder if I saw that movie.
right i wonder like it's weird that i wonder if i saw that movie like i was it did it have like like the saved by the bell people and boy meets world people in it no or was soleil moon fry in
it no it's weird that there is now not only is there a documentary about everything there's two
documentaries about everything so you're like oh yeah i saw the
nexium documentary which one yeah i saw the one about uh oxycontin which one fire fest tell me
which one yeah yeah they i know they used to do that with certain movies yeah which volcano movie did you see yeah yeah which uh chess which movie about
chess did you like yeah yeah both though in this case both yeah which uh which chess movie did
you like searching for bobby fisher and the other one fresh fresh fresh i don't know fresh of course
you don't know fresh because the good one they, there was always one that the one that's not as good gets the more shine.
It's more.
Right.
Right.
Yeah.
And then back.
Yeah.
So fresh is fresh is good,
man.
Fresh,
the searching for Bobby Fisher character,
you could read the synopsis,
but he's,
he's,
he's in a foster home and he's running dope for one gang
and crack for another.
And he's 12.
And his dad's...
Yeah, so the stakes are way higher.
Yeah, holy shit.
And it's beloved, man.
It's a real movie.
We always talk about movies when we
end up getting together.
I'm excited because no one likes to hear about movies.
Well, because Searching for Bobby Fischer, so I looked this up.
It came out in 1994.
I've never heard of this.
This is my whiteness show.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because like on IMDb, it'll suggest movies like this.
And I went down to be like, okay, well, it's going to have Search for Bobby Fischer.
But movies like this, Juice, Dead President, Menace to Society.
All classics.
This has Samuel L. Jackson, whereas Bobby Fischer had Lawrence Fishburne.
Yes.
Yes.
Yeah, your algorithm knows you.
Yeah. Lord Algo knows it, knowsne. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Your algorithm knows you. Yeah.
Lord Algo knows it.
Knows all.
Yeah.
Do you know one thing that I love that you've been doing the last while is you started your own like line of sweaters and shirts.
And there's always pictures of comedians wearing them.
I love it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Thanks, man.
And sweaters and shirts.
Yeah. Like sweatshirts i got one uh
i could grab one around here before we get out of here yeah it's a drip lord um you know collection
yes wait yeah yeah you're you're do you know from drip lord collection yeah yeah yes that's who you
yeah that's who you talking to man that's who i became man man. I changed, bro. Come on, man. Yeah, thanks, man. And you know
what? And to see the comics supported like that has been really fun. It's been it's because it's
cool. It's not like merchandise like Dino Archie comedy dot com or something. Right. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Do you sell them at shows? You know what? I i'm touching go about it because you know i mean you you not
you know what it's like to sell after a show it's crazy i never have i've never had merch
yeah because you yeah you have integrity i don't know about that i think i'm lazy is what it
yeah it worked out as because i'm lazy too so i never do
until i got these and then i sold a bunch but then one guy he tried to negotiate with me
on the drip and i said man give me this shit back man i said i'm not no drip for you
so i'm the drip nazi man like i don't like certain people wearing my shit yeah that's true
yeah i'm petty about it so if you're cool see people had to dm me there's no link you have
to just deal with me direct oh okay like and if i don't like you i'll hike the price up on you
is there a business in somebody being very obnoxious wearing your competitor's shirt so that it makes makes a
dent in their respectability i feel like i could get into that kind of business like i will wear
your shirt in public right just yeah be a an asshole and carry yeah yeah exactly yeah i'm gonna
push kids over and yeah it's funny i follow a few instagram accounts that
are just like people selling stuff but you have to dm them to get the thing yeah and that's like
you know classic uh baseball caps that are just like from like a welding company or
a trucking company they're like we have one of these dm me the first person to dm me gets it
yeah how does yeah how do you feel is that weird that's weird it no it's not weird but it does
make me feel like i follow like i don't know a couple hundred people and like i'm like one of
them is this thing that i'm gonna buy one of once like i'm just kind of like on the lookout to buy something from this guy
and then i'll i'll have to unfollow him yeah but like before you buy 10 different baseball hats
he's always bringing out a new baseball hat you're like god damn that's a good baseball
yeah oh yeah for what yeah no that's true i i didn't think about it like that but yes some
you know my people they i made another line too called drippery when wet
some you know my people they i made another line too called drippery when wet with yeah that's good that's good stuff where can we where can we see this stuff
it's on my uh instagram a page so it's gonna be i post um i post a lot of is that dino the beloved
dino the beloved yeah it's it's in my if you look at one of those highlights it's a
bunch of comics with the drip on and different old ladies little babies it's been a real cool
little baby yeah yes good for eight to eighty or three hundred eight months to eighty yeah i have
some i have friends from high school with with kids little little families little babies and you know so it's been fun but then it's also work too so yeah you know i like to
it was fun to do that over the lockdown because i had nothing we had that time yeah now that
i'm moving and grooving again i'm just going through it right now it's very fun to see
yeah well the people are people wearing them are doing this they're doing yeah prayer
hands yeah there's the prayer hands on the hoodie yeah yeah well that's an homage to my grandfather
you know i probably i talked about this on here before that he was a bishop pastor actually he
was a bishop he was a chess chess master yeah my grandfather was a rook just dressed up as a castle they only
went forward and backward yeah as i said i go that sounds crazy but He's a, you know, as a preacher and his,
the church that I grew up in was called moments of blessings.
And the logo was the prayer hand.
Oh, I just put some drip and, you know, awesome extra stuff.
Nima created the logo for me.
That's right.
Yeah, man, it's talented.
What was Graham, your childhood church what
was the name and logo of uh the logo was of uh a lamb a lamb that had a flag on its shoulder
and uh it was called christ moravian so it was from whoa from like moravia or something that where's that a lamb with a flag that's crazy yeah yeah
like a lamb with a that's why yeah it's um i don't know where but i figure it's like near the
anias you know romania transylvania oh yeah yeah albania how about yours what was your
mine was dunbar heights united church and And the logo was Jesus on a surfboard as smoking weed out of a can of Coke.
Holy shit.
That sounds great.
Yeah.
Yours sounds really fun.
Yeah.
Anything goes.
Yeah.
Anything goes there.
That makes me want to be a believer.
I want to get back into this stuff.
If this is the new style well i mean they could use the parishioners numbers are down
in the united church i think the catholics do a good job of holding on to their people through
fear yes that's true yeah the united church is just like yeah just just you'll be fine. Come or go. We're going to have a picnic.
Yeah, our church is just too long, man.
Did you?
Yes, everyone knows that.
Did you go every week or did you not?
Did your parents not kind of bring you with them or what was it for you?
I went every week.
So we when I grew up, my I was born, we lived with my grandfather and mother, my grandparents.
Right. My family lived in their in their house.
And then we moved when we got our own place. It was three houses down.
Oh, cool. So it was always kind of a thing.
And then when we my mom remarried, then we kind of moved further and further away.
But my aunts would always pick me up.
Oh, okay.
And take me to church.
Yeah, that's when I was a good guy, man.
Yeah.
When you say it was too long, how long was it?
At least three hours.
Are you kidding me?
I'm going to barf.
I'm going to come and barf.
I'm going to barf.
I'm going to come and barf.
That's why I be,
you know,
this,
this material has been covered in, in many of black comedy room,
but white people church is,
is waste.
It's short.
It's sweet.
Yeah.
Now that I think of it,
it is punchy because we are to it.
Is that three hours? Like you're in your seat for three hours. I mean, you're in, you're not. Yeah, now that I think of it, it is punchy. Because we get to it. Is that three hours?
Like, you're in your seat
for three hours?
I mean, you're in there.
Well, no, it's like a music,
it's like a Travis Scott concert
without...
People are being trampled.
Yes.
Yeah, I'm going to say that.
People are...
No, because you,
we believed in laying the hands,
like, where the whole when the
it's like churches of churches like wrapping up or something and then the holy ghost shows up and
oh who invited this guy this guy it's gonna be another two hours and he's laying hands and people
are passing out in the front row and you gotta drag the body out the way well yeah i would pass
out if i was there for three
yeah i would i would take three hours of that non-stop action compared to one hour of
you know who passed away that's what people say that's what people say man uh maybe you know i
i don't know though yeah we i know this though in the room you because stuff. It was good stuff. It isn't three hours of trash, right? Yeah. It's
three hours of like, you know, the first hour is going to be praise and worship, you know,
to loosen you up, get you, get the vibe, right. And then, uh, then there's an opener. You gotta
have an opener. Yeah. It's like, yeah, you gotta have an opener and they get you you know
give you the word get you like get your head space you know and then then my then i'm opening
for god this week who looks at you know and then uh the music is then they chill it out they go
okay get serious this is the headliners coming that's my
grandpa whoever that but my grandfather was the every sunday he didn't miss one sunday yeah that's
for 50 years it was crazy and the the the record yeah it was wild so he then he's then he'll come
out and be like y'all not really even ready i can tell then we got it then then that's a whole nother 30 minutes
then then it didn't even get too good at him and he could sing he could dance he was just
he was just a show a showman but he really meant this stuff and he was good at it he could have
been a one of the four tops or something yeah you know you'll see when i put photos up of him he was oh he was drip oh he was the drip lord he
was a real lord i remember at ours it was like an hour and then we we loved it we loved our
minister who did the hour and then he retired and another minister came in
suddenly it was like an hour 20 and we were like fuck this god is dead
20 extra minutes
yeah yeah no we do that and then the last hour is for the last year is does anyone want to give
their life to the lord after you heard all that good stuff i'm
good yeah no thanks not for me no the people doing it and then the money guy comes up it's like yo
you know you got to tap in with the lord give him a little bit of something for the for the show
yeah and then uh then when it's supposed to be over, then another preacher from another church, if his set ended early, he would come to other churches.
Oh, shit.
To get more time.
Like to do a guest spot on church?
To do a guest spot.
Wow.
On church.
And he's in the back.
After the headliner.
After the headliner.
So he's like, I've got this new bit about Luke.
Which Luke?
So here's something.
I thought that the books of the New Testament were named after the apostles.
Right.
And they were like, but they weren't apparently like the two different Luke's.
There was two different.
I didn't know that.
I didn't even know that.
Like the apostle is different from whoever is the guy writing the gospel?
So there's another mark.
There's two marks.
Two marks.
Yeah.
I might be wrong about this.
Don't quote me on this.
Because it seems like, why would there be two Lukes?
Yeah, that's true.
If the book in each book is, no, I thought it was the gospel according to these guys,
according to Jim.
Yeah.
There's some shows I've never seen an episode of,
and I'm,
I'm,
I feel pride myself on that.
Yeah.
I was having a discussion the other day about shows that have been on four
years or them, or we're just canceled after an 11-year run, but you don't know them.
Like, you know maybe the name of them.
Like, you know, Six Rules for Dating My Daughter was on for like seven or eight years, and I never saw a single episode.
And I don't know anybody who saw a single episode of it.
Was that John Ritter?
was it Kaylee Cuoco?
was she the daughter?
and then when John Ritter passed away
David Spade
came in
and became like a new character
and then it was on for like 4 more years or something
so you know there's a lot
going on on these television dials
that I am not familiar
with for years for years and years i've never seen friends you've never seen friends wow i don't know
how you could have avoided it all these years you take a lot of pride in it i do i can see it in your
face i don't think i know anybody aside from you that hasn't seen Friends.
That's interesting. I've never seen
Titanic. You've never seen
Titanic? Titanic seems hard
to watch. It's a fun...
Well, it's not fun, but it's a good watch.
It's good. But it's like four hours.
Yeah.
It seems harder to avoid Friends.
You could just happen to
see half an hour yeah that's
true you won't trip over titanic anytime soon but you know what i didn't even see it was easy for me
to avoid friends man because me too oh i just mean in real life because just you know growing in the night what was that in the 90s was that was friends yeah
i think in the 90s tv was i don't know if it was more like not i'm not gonna say racist that's a
strong word but more like there was on fox was martin i'm watching martin i'm watching
in living color i'm watching new york undercover you know what
i'm saying all the shows that got some spice to it friends wasn't on my lineup that was what it
yeah fair enough uh i guess it's just hard it's uh it's just the fact that it's never not been
on tv ever since yeah and i said like fox like back in the day fox was like the nasty
channel right they'd have like yeah married with children and they had like you know spicy
even the simpsons was like bart said hell yeah yeah now fox is like i guess it's owned by disney
now so no it's not oh i guess oh sure yeah fox news but the 20th century fox well like yeah
maybe yeah i don't know i don't know who owns what.
Because The Simpsons are on Disney+.
That's true, yeah.
I think of ABC as the one that's owned by Disney,
but I guess they're all owned by Disney.
Disney's not playing, man.
No, never has been.
You should check out Bizaardvark.
Oh, yeah, I'm gonna.
On your recommendation.
After I watch iCarly, I'll watch them back to back.
Dave, what's going on with you, man?
What is going on with me?
Well, last week was Abby's birthday.
Yeah.
Happy birthday to my wife from Borat.
From all of us here at Borat.
And we went out for dinner.
Abby's parents were staying around last week
and they took care of the kids.
The kids were,
we shouldn't have told the kids like,
oh yeah, later this week,
we're going to go out for dinner
and grandma and grandpa are going to take care of you
because the kids were like,
no, you can't go out.
They're not used to being left alone after after two years of the pandemic right yeah yeah please don't leave yeah um uh anyway so we went to um we went out to dinner and uh as're, I don't go out at all. I barely went out before the pandemic.
And now I,
you know,
I've been out to dinner.
I've used like my vaccine passport card.
Three times,
maybe once to get into a movie,
once to go out to lunch and then once to go to dinner.
And,
uh,
so I'm not used to being out in public and as we're sitting at uh
at dinner a guy comes up it's a crowded restaurant a guy comes up to us another person at dinner
at another table he comes up to me and abby and says hey just want to say i'm a big fan of yours
i i love the work you do i really appreciate and then he's gone in like five
seconds yeah and i just say thank you and then he disappears and then the guy next like the tables
are so close together the guy next to me is like who are you yeah you're like i'm a popular gym
teacher leave yeah he's like he didn't want to uh pry too much but he's like now i'm gonna spend the rest of my meal
wondering who you are and i was like i'm a serial killer yeah i'm zachary ty brian
it's it that's what's kind of sucks eating out now is the the tables are so close that everyone's on a date together. Yes. Like you can't just have that one experience.
You got to.
Yeah.
Cause in movies,
all the tables are like spaced out at fancy restaurants are spaced out so
much.
Like another table could fit in between the tables that are.
Yeah.
And I feel like if I,
if they,
if we had ever gone out to eat during like the first year of the pandemic,
it would have been like tables tables are 100 feet apart.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We have two tables.
That was the best part of that.
That was a good thing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So did you like, was the dinner good?
The one, I looked at the menu before I went and i was like huh oh they've got like a cod on the
menu maybe i'll get the cod and then we sit down to eat and the first thing they say is uh everything
uh the menu uh just some notes on the menu the one thing we don't have is the cod oh god and
there weren't that many things on the menu and abby and i ate so fast. Like I booked, like I, I parked the car and, you know, on my phone, I was like, you, you pay for parking.
And I was like, uh, yeah, you know, let's say we'll, we'll be there for two hours.
We were in and out in 45 minutes.
Holy shit.
Like, I felt like it was such a, they, we ordered it.
They brought it so fast and I've stood there waiting.
Come on.
But I've always been like, I've always felt like I'm a fast eater.
Yeah.
And I wish the city would issue me a card that says, this guy's a fast eater.
You can have your own card made.
Just like officially like, oh, like oh okay well you don't have
any tables well why not is it because someone's coming to eat in an hour i promise i will be out
in an hour yes yes that that because like i want i want my vaccine card and my fast eater card in
one app you can have the vaccine card and do, not
the vaccine card, the dinner one. Make yourself a little
business. Get some either money
or free dinner and I'll walk
around in Dino's clothes and make
sure that people never buy it.
Yo, yeah.
I don't, when I go to a place
they go, oh, we have reservations
at five and shit.
And it's like no one's sitting.
No one's in the restaurant.
Right.
And they go, it's what they're supposed to come.
Like, yo, I could already eat by now.
Yeah, I know what I want.
I mean, it's 2021.
Of course, I've seen the menu before I got here.
Yes.
And throw a cod in my mouth and I'll be.
Yeah, I'll be on my i'll take
10 cards they do it like that place in seattle where they throw the fish across the market
head on it that's always funny yeah i'm at the point where i want my bill the bill is the first thing i want yeah i
haven't even ordered nothing i'm like give me the bill yeah yeah minority report this shit tell me
what i'm gonna order bring me my bill get the oracles around yeah guess what give me the bill
man i hate that because when you give them when that last thing drops when the last they
they everyone's rusty too no one knows how to deal with people right yeah yeah true everyone's tripping
what how did you what do you do with the remainder of the time did you just go home oh we were oh we
went for a little walk around downtown it was cold cold and we were like, let's get back in the car.
We were so full.
We were like, we didn't even want dessert.
Oh, wow.
So you just.
And so we were like, we were our Abby's parents were going to put the kids to bed, but we were home in the middle of bedtime.
Like Abby's dad read the kids their first story.
I read the second story and finished bedtime.
It was like.
You almost didn't need a babysitter. They could have just have just yeah they could have like we could have in the car well you could have put on
bazaardvark and uh yeah um uh i'm not a fast eater at all i'm quite the opposite i'm a very slow eater
and i to the point that everybody will finish before me and i'll still be
half of my food
still because you've had to send it back because it had like feathers in it yeah something you're
allergic to yeah feathers sometimes it would just come out just peanut butter all out everything
have you uh gone to many or any sit-down meals? Been to a couple.
Been to a couple.
Well, yeah, I've been to maybe two. Like a real
dinner? Yeah, where you need to
you're sitting in the restaurant.
They need you to be vaccinated.
Yeah. Have I?
Maybe at least once. I must
have because I've... Well, I think I ate
in an A&W. Does that count? Eating inside
an A&W? I don't think so.
Maybe I haven't.
I'm supposed to go tonight. I'm supposed to go
have a... Where are you going?
I'm going to go to the Beer Craft.
Oh, that's good.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Don't they have good burgers?
I've been there. They had good burgers or something going on.
Yeah, the food there's pretty good and uh their uh specialty is muscles oh is really that yeah i've had the muscles there
nice and their other specialty is a bunch of belgian beer yeah yeah yeah belgian beer too
shit i'm gonna go i'm gonna meet you there man i'm gonna show up there i'm pulling up man yeah
just hand them your card that says I'm eating with Graham.
Yeah, I can eat really fast.
Can you shell the mussels for me and just rocket them down my throat?
Oh, man.
I've definitely been at a dinner where I was the only one not eating mussels or clams and just watching people do it.
It's insane.
Like, if you're not also doing it you're like well this is like
i'm sitting on the set of star trek or something i've never like i had oysters at this meal
and uh i haven't boy i feel like i'm flirting with disaster there's like
one in 50 oysters is gonna make you throw up right yeah i'm surprised that it's that high
i would say like one in three one in 4 Well I usually get a half dozen
And I haven't thrown up yet
Are they
They're like the slimy ones right
Like the wet ones
I mean sure
Like every shellfish is slimy and wet
Yes
But even the cooked ones
But these are raw
So those shellfish have that wow slimy and wet. Even the cooked ones. But these are raw. They just...
Those shellfish
have that wa.
Yeah.
Wa.
Wet-ass shellfish.
Wet-ass shellfish.
Yeah, no, they're a loogie.
They're just a loogie in a shell.
Absolutely. Disgusting.
But you know what? It's your life.
Yeah.
YOLO.
And
yeah, it's nice to go to a restaurant.
I think I might do it again.
I have a birthday this week.
That's right.
I'm going to have a big meatball, I think.
Is there a place that does that?
Well,
sure.
Yeah,
there are a few places.
There's one place that I wanted to go and I felt bad.
I didn't get reservations in time at this place.
I was like,
Oh,
I was like,
Oh,
I should have planned a week before.
And then I checked and they don't have any reservations until 2022.
So I was like,
Oh yeah,
I guess I'm not.
I guess I, unless i want to eat at
10 p.m or if you want to slip the maitre d like a cool hundred or something maitre d's nuts
oh shit oh shit he went there
anyway so uh yeah i got recognized at a restaurant.
I'm pretty famous.
That's cool.
Which is, we're a pretty nondescript couple.
But this guy, I mean, unless he thought we were someone else.
Yeah, that's right.
Maybe they thought you were, who?
Celine Dion and Rene Angelo.
Yes, that's right.
I thought you were dead.
Anyway, what's going on with you?
Well, last night on television, past guest Sophie Buttle made her late night debut on the James Corden Late Late Show.
Yeah, and if you check out Dino the Beloved, you can see her in a pink hoodie that's right yeah i'm studying friend yeah i'm cloud chasing cloud demon yeah yeah she's yeah
she she did man that was great yeah and i was speaking of tables being close together and far
apart the audience was at tables yeah sitting at tables late night show it's a lot looser of a show than i thought
it was it's more because they the guests stay out on the couch together and they yeah um i feel i
don't know i don't know anything about what sophie did but it feels like also the stand-ups come out
in at a completely different time yeah i think that's right i think that it's a different recording or maybe they add on a stand-up set well you've done uh jimmy kimmel right
you know what was were you did they record it and then air it on a different day from when you
they recorded it you're part of a show but they aired my part on a different day because on the Kimmel set, it's in a different room.
Oh,
so they take that crowd and move.
And after the,
the,
the stars have done their thing,
the clowns come in,
they bring in the clowns to close it out.
Yeah.
So that was really,
that room is really like they turn into a little comedy club
oh that's cool but then when i watched ivan do conan conan the barber conan is it conan or conan
conan yes it is it's conan it's definitely ivan it's ivan It's Ivan. Yeah, that somehow the people are super far back.
And, you know, that was and you're the stage.
You're just on that stage away from everyone.
Yeah.
Every setup is different.
But on Sophie's, I think because Sophie, she they had that interaction with her and Jeff Goldblum.
If you watch the whole show.
Oh, I didn't see that.
Yeah, so they do a funny bit
where they go to everybody's dressing room
while they're sitting there.
And Sophie said,
if anybody on the show wants to buy some drugs,
I'll sell them some drugs.
And then he, James Corden, was like,
go to the door on the other side of the room
and knock on it.
And she did.
And Jeff Goldblum came in.
And,
uh,
Sophie was too,
she was like,
I can't have to close the door on them.
It was fine.
It was great.
It was great.
My original idea was James Corden show.
Good.
I don't know.
I feel this is a small sample size.
I watched that part zip through the rest of the show.
Doesn't he like sing in a bus
um i was gonna watch it live but then that show ends at like 1 30 in the morning or something so
i think i stayed up maybe till 12 and then i was like you know what the magic of recording i could
record this like yeah yeah yeah so i got up. Everyone's funnier at nine in the morning.
Oh man.
That's why all the open mics that are hopping are all at Denny's.
Denny's has a good open mic.
Perkins used to have a release before it shut down.
Do you have like 1130 or 130 in the morning?
There was a time in your life where that wasn't late.
Is that true?
Yeah, absolutely. It's not. I mean, I guess i used to stay up late but 1 30 is still late yeah it's like it's you're gonna be
if you have to get up and do anything the next morning you're creating a future problem for
yourself but couldn't stay awake and so i got to see it recorded and i've got it recorded forever
i can watch whenever whenever I want.
Like one episode I have recorded, I realize that it's still there,
was an episode of Jeopardy!
where during the interview part,
this guy told a story about meeting his wife.
And then at the end of it, he's like,
and we're still together. And he looked at both contestants and went like,
uh-huh, hey, pretty good. It's just so sweet so i have that sophie's and uh
tbr has three things on it it's good there's also a story from czech tv about a guy who has too many puppies oh that's yes that's a beloved uh dvr that you got yeah yeah
yeah it's a story about a guy who got too many puppies he's gonna have to drown some
heartwarming what is the like what is the thing on your dvr that you're like one day i'm gonna
get around to watching this uh you know you're never going to.
Yeah, it's a documentary series about British Columbia.
And I wanted to watch it, but I don't know if I still want to.
But I still want to keep that possibility alive.
So that's why I keep...
But then I'll just end up watching a beat Bobby Flay
or something stupid like that.
Yeah, beat Bobby Fischer.
Do you know, is there something for you that you have uh that you have in your queue that you're like or even
like your Netflix like oh yeah I'll put this on my list and I know I'll never watch I had um
I had a Gary Clark no no no I watched that I had a rock Clark. No, no, no.
I watched that.
I had a Rock and Roll Hall of Fame 2019 or some 2017,
some weird year that I was like, there's really nothing on.
And I'm going to watch this Hall of Fame awards show.
Yeah.
And then my girl be like, hey, can we, are you going to keep keep this and i'm always having that debate right there i'm like you leave it leave it man i'm gonna watch it yeah one day
i'm gonna be in the mood to do it yeah for me it's this stanley kubrick movie called barry linden
oh yeah barry linden that's on the top of the list of movies you're meant to go see yeah what if there's a book of
them it's like three and a half hours long it's not it it's not about it's his least
movie i like it though i like it you see it must be good i've seen it plenty of times
yeah it's uh everything he made was good he didn't he didn't make a stinker, I don't think.
Yeah, that's why it's on my list.
Yeah, no, I'm the same.
I haven't seen it, but really. Have you seen Full Metal Jacket?
I have.
I haven't seen that.
I've seen it a couple times, and it is disturbing.
It's properly disturbing, that movie.
It is.
Yeah.
Because the first half takes place in training camp,
and then the second half takes place during the war.
And the training camp is scarier than the war in this movie.
This training camp looks fucking brutal.
Like, people would be like, oh, let me just get off to war.
It could be outside.
So, yeah, that's the only really interesting thing.
The only thing going on with you is Sophie got on TV. i also finished the series which i don't ever do i never finish a series
uh aside i watched uh uh squid game and then i watched a show about makeup called glow up
which is uh so good and so like everybody's very endearing on it and there was one guy he was his big cause was like
getting men to wear a little bit of makeup uh not to like be bold but just to cover up a couple of
things on your head and uh i think i was like it was a really good pitch i bought the pitch of yeah
maybe it would be worth just wearing like a little concealer, a little. I remember when they used to do, what was the show with Stacy and Clinton?
Oh, What Not To Wear.
What Not To Wear.
And they would have, oh boy.
God, I feel like I, what were the people's names?
Stacy and Clinton were the hosts.
Yeah.
And they would throw out all your old clothes and give you new clothes.
Yeah.
And then you would go get your hair done by Nick.
And then you would get your makeup done by Carmindy.
And, uh, but the men, like with the women, it would be like, here's what you need to do.
Oh, you're, here's your coloring.
You're a fall.
And this would really complement your eyes.
And then with the men, it was like, here's some moisturizer.
Some moisturizer.
I'm just going to run this roller of concealer over your face.
Yeah, put a little lotion on your knuckles.
They're ashy.
She would do knuckles first.
Because men don't have a lot
I'm gonna cover up these
prison tattoos that you have here
that
um I
uh but like
uh that knife stat
that knife wound
from getting bottled
that's the old you
what would you what What would you,
what makeup are you going to start wearing?
Graham?
Maybelline.
I'll go with a brand name.
Maybelline.
Maybe L'Oreal.
Would you,
what,
what,
what did this get you think about,
get you to think about doing,
you know,
like,
like dark kind of circles under your eyes.
Yeah.
That feels like something that could be jazzed up a little bit.
Um,
who knows, you know? Yeah. The men on what not to wear would be like just drink some water for a while
just get eight hours yeah you guys know i'm getting eight hours of rest because i taped the You're halfway there. I slept like a baby.
We were talking about rules with my daughters. And I was like, what rules are there at your school?
And they were like, don't be rude.
Just like things their teachers have repeated to them.
You got to have inside shoes and outside shoes.
Yeah.
to them you gotta have inside shoes and outside shoes yeah and then i was shocked to hear that one of the rules is no makeup at their school is there kids or yeah i guess so but they're like
you know like abby will let them put on makeup at home but i didn't know that there are actual
rules at school that are like no makeup except like lip
gloss,
but you're not allowed,
even in grade seven,
you're not allowed to just like,
huh?
Like it,
that seems first of all,
sexist.
Yeah.
Cause the boys are allowed to at the schools.
What the fuck?
Well,
I mean the boys,
boys don't care,
but like,
it's just like a way of kind of policing girls.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think it's,
uh,
uh, you know, I think it's harmless. That's what I of policing girls yeah yeah i think it's uh uh you know i think it's harmless that's what i'm saying makeup's harmless for little kids all the way up to adult
men makeup is uh it's where it's at but you know what i've never thought about it until i watch
glow up so maybe i'm a convert you know that's good stuff i'm gonna i told my girls if if they
want to wear makeup they will not get in real trouble.
Yeah.
Like if their teachers tell them that they're in trouble, I will tell them they're not in trouble.
Yeah.
But, you know, be careful not to do like a smoky eye because.
Oh, yeah.
Well, I mean, look, they will, they can't pull that off.
They don't have the technique.
Yeah.
With your lashes.
Yeah. Your daughter. Yeah, with your lashes. Yeah.
For your daughter?
No way.
Yeah, so that's what happened with me.
What do you guys say to going over some overheards?
Sure.
Woo-hoo.
About that time.
Hello.
I'm Pee Wee Herman.
You might know me from TV, but I really want to be a DJ.
It took some convincing, but KCRW finally agreed to give me an hour on the radio to play you some music with my friends.
Anyway, tune in for one hour of the bestest, most funnest time you'll ever have on the Pee Wee Herman Radio Hour.
I am personally inviting you to tune your transistor radio in to hear me
or go to kcrw.com.
Duh.
It'll be available for the whole week from November 26th to December 3rd.
So you can listen to it again and again and again and again and again!
The Pee Wee Herman
Radio Hour was produced by Maximum
Fun and can be streamed on
KCRW.com until December
3rd.
Overheard!
Overheard! It's a segment wherein we all hear things here on the podcast.
If we're lucky, sometimes we see things.
And once in a while, you'll have a dream that you thought was hilarious.
And we always like to start with the guest.
Dino, you have an overheard.
You know, when you asked me about the overheard,
overheard you know when you you asked me about the overheard i i don't i don't have one because you can't hear shit now because everyone wears a mask that's true so you can't overhear so i'd
be lying you can't even hear the people talking you can't hear anybody uh but i did hear something
on tv i was watching one of these documentaries and it was one of these detective New York detective type guys talking about the mafia or something.
And how he he jammed one of these mafiosos up and told him to scram.
But the way he said it was he was talking that old kind of talk.
And he said, he said, I told the guy, put your hand.
He said, put your hand in your ass
and screw and it was the funniest the best way to tell someone to fucking fuck off that i've ever
heard so just put your hand in your ass you do know how to whistle don't you
so i yeah that's good yeah it was good stuff if ever if somebody uh
trolls me on twitter that's what you have your hand in your
i like that that's good yeah uh dave it's like when someone says sit and spin sit and spin or
pound sand isn't it yeah but but when someone says sit and spin but
also they're giving you the middle finger it's like oh you sit here and spin you need the combo
to get it yeah this is going to be more uncomfortable for you than it is for me you
gotta keep your hand down there while i'm doing all this spinning uh dave do you have an overheard oh me yeah you uh yeah mine's an overseen okay so this is
i uh was walking my dog the other day it was raining story checks out and it's always raining
it's it's uh i was walking through there's these plazas near where i live one of them is the plaza
where you're allowed to drink not that comes into play in the story but
uh you're allowed to wear makeup in that one not in the other that's true but only lip gloss yeah
and so uh and it's this uh plaza with it's got like a brightly colored mural
and there's a bunch of there's like brightly colored um like kind of uh
concrete barriers just so like you can't drive your car through here right and there's a couple
there's some you know picnic style outdoor seating with benches and chairs that are also brightly
colored and then there's also some just like Ikea furniture
that people have abandoned there.
Yeah, that's right.
In the summer, it was good because there were more spaces.
But then now that rain has come, it's...
Yeah, it's very rainy.
All the like, it's all the wood.
It's like that Ikea chair that is $30.
It's made out of five pieces of wood.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And there's a bunch of those and they're just
like black and moldy. Yeah. Just splitting everywhere.
Yeah. And so I'm walking through there with the dog and
I'm not paying attention to anything. I'm kind of like distracted in a
bunch of different ways. I got the dog. I'm listening to a podcast in my
earbuds and then my dog does
his business right in the middle of all this so i have to stop lean over and pick it up and then
while i'm leaned over i hear this kind of cracking sound and uh but as i'm where i'm listening to a
podcast so it's not that loud in my ears and i don't really notice it it might be a car like
slamming a door it might be someone putting garbage in my ears and I don't really notice it. It might be a car like slamming a door.
It might be someone putting garbage in a garbage can.
I don't really know what it is.
I don't pay attention to it.
Then I look up a few seconds later and a person is lying on the ground right in front of me.
Oh, Jesus.
And they they're lying on the ground on top of a broken chair.
Oh, Jesus.
Wow. So they were just sitting there by themselves in the middle of this plaza, and the chair collapsed underneath them.
Oh, wow.
And they have their hands in their pockets as well, so you know they didn't brace their fall.
They had their hand in their ass.
They had their hand in their ass.
They were spinning around.
Jesus Christ.
Was the person in question all right they well i didn't notice for about 10 seconds that this had happened because i was doing other stuff i was so distracted and uh by the time i
noticed that someone else was walking had walked up to them and was like are you okay and the
person just got up and walked away yeah i wish that didn't happen where people could see me but
yeah that does sound like a very thing that i would do that i would sit on a chair and it just
snaps beneath me and then yeah it's just looking around and being like i'm gonna see you later at
the plaza aren't i yeah i'm gonna see you on my way up and on my way down. That's right.
Yeah, it was one of those things where it was like,
if you're having a bad day, it's just like,
you'll never believe the last thing that happened.
Yeah, exactly.
I don't think we need this plaza in the winter.
I still love it.
I still love a plaza.
When's the last time you hung out there?
Two days ago when it wasn't... Really?
The last time it didn't rain?
Yeah. I like to get out there. I like to enjoy
the moon. Play grab ass.
Play grab ass. That's right.
Put on my big lipstick and just run
around smooching people.
You know, stuff like that.
Guy stuff.
You can do that. Do that. I'm gonna You can do that. Yeah. Do that.
I'm gonna.
I'm gonna.
Get off my back.
My overheard is this weekend,
I did a show with Dino at a place called The Penthouse.
It is a strip club on the bottom
and then a jazz slash comedy club on top of it.
But you have to go through the same
entrance there's only one entrance for both this place is known for its uh uh marquee yeah there's
always very funny things on the marquee yeah and so uh there's just the one bouncer he's checking
everybody's id and then these three teens that you know like when you're a teen and you're just like
not where you were supposed to be and just hoping you wouldn't get caught but also acting a little
cocky because you're a teenager you know what i'm talking about that's what that was these three guys
and uh one person was bringing out their vaccination uh vaccination card and one of the
kids said you got a card? Come on man, get digital
and then his friend
tried to walk into the penthouse
and the
bouncer grabbed him and he said, hey what?
I'm 14!
I know my rights
Yeah, I'm 14 as I understand
the age of voting and such
um yeah so that was the best that kid rules they were getting up to no good and uh they
weren't wearing jackets it was definitely weather that you would wear a jacket what did you um
what's the youngest you ever went to a club or a bar or anything uh 16 i think 15 or 16 do you know man i was at eight
18 there was a 18 year old and uh club because in the states it's 21 right oh sure yeah so i
i was yeah 18 19 i had i used my tizZell's ID. Nice.
T-Zell's so cool.
Did you have to get into character?
Did you have to really become T-Zell to sell the T-Zell?
You know what the problem is with parades today?
No one takes any pride.
They go, it's you. Yeah, I show them and they go,
hey man, what do you know about parades?
You know something about parades?
You kidding me or what man yeah i had a very very shoddy university id that uh i think maybe the bouncers just let me in because i think they're like this kid's going to
drink a lot and then puke so we're gonna we're gonna move some uh we're gonna move some product because uh he'll puke he'll come back for another round because he's a kid um he's how old were you when you
first went into a like a bar i went to a strip club when i was i think 17 jeepers what an intro
and yeah it was i was there were two guys in my dorm cause I, it was, I was at college, but like I was
born in December.
So I, uh, like the first semester I was still 17.
Right.
And there were two guys and they wanted to go to the red lion in, uh, Victoria.
Yeah.
And I was their designated driver.
I didn't drink till I was 19.
So it was just like, I'll go, I'll see naked ladies.
Yeah.
I will appreciate them as the goddesses they are. Yeah. And I'll see naked ladies. Yeah. I will appreciate them as the goddesses they are.
Yeah.
And I'll drive you home.
Yeah.
I won't throw.
I'll place some money on the stage gingerly.
Well, I didn't have any money.
I will drink a nice tea.
And ask if she wants a brisk as well.
Yeah. Yeah. And one for the lady please um yeah wow i don't
remember the first time i went to strip club was probably probably like 18 and i thought they were
weird from this yeah first step in i've only been like four times maybe and not since i was 20
yeah i have a i have a worse record when it comes
to that I've definitely been at more than that
and
not
all at night I've been at ones in the afternoon
and one in Montreal in the morning
because they had a breakfast festival
and one on Christmas morning
you there stripper what day is this
boy fetch me your fattest ass you there stripper what day is this boy
fetch me your fattest ass
now we also have overheard
sent in to us from people all over the map
you want to send one in you can send it in
to spy at maximum fun dot org
and this is
Sebastian
walking on the sidewalk on a busy avenue
guy yelling at a group of friends
that has a speaker
and he said, Adele isn't sidewalk
speaker music.
That's true.
That's petty. I like that guy.
Low road Larry.
Yeah, you gotta have something with a
beat. You gotta have something up tempo. Something to sound terrible in a speaker. Yes. Yeah, yeah got to have something with a beat. You got to have something up-tempo.
Something to sound terrible in a speaker.
Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But, you know, with Adele, maybe she'd sound good in a speaker.
I don't think anything sounds good in those speakers.
Yeah, I don't want to hear about your divorce on the street.
That's more of a bath time kind of thing, you know?
Yeah.
no that's more of a bath time kind of thing you know yeah i don't i haven't followed adele enough like i remember it was like uh her second album was the
huge one and it was like boy she just she's so brokenhearted yeah she just got broken up with
and then uh the third album, I,
Oh,
things are looking up for Adele.
No fourth album.
Ah,
sorry about your divorce Adele.
But it's like, then it's going to be every second album really is the,
cause she'll get,
she'll find somebody else.
And then do you think you could make Adele happy?
Uh,
yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think so.
Yeah.
I think I'd treat her real nice.
And, uh, I'd go to all her shows.
Can she make you happy?
She already has.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yes.
Uh, this next one is, is a dream that somebody had.
I wouldn't usually go with a dream, but this one's very funny.
This is Joe from St. Louis.
Uh, i was listening
to the podcast in my car the guest was a male comic whose name i didn't hear and whose voice
i didn't recognize oh my bedina my bedina sounds like me the topic of the conversation was the
fart bus movie franchise ah what with graham and the guest saying they were no good and Dave defending them.
Dave said that the dialogue got better with each movie.
The dialogue of Fartbush.
The dialogue.
You know what?
The first few movies were just coasting on the plot.
Quick, who was you cast as the lead in Fart Bus?
Kevin James.
Kevin James.
Good.
Good call.
Dino?
Melissa McCarthy.
Nice.
Good.
Excellent.
I was going to say Rob Milmes.
He's no longer with us.
Yeah.
I would go Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock.
Yes.
Yeah, exactly.
They've got a chemistry.
This bus farts less than 50 times an hour.
It explodes.
And this last one comes from Matthew D.
My wife was supposed to speak with the cat sitter this evening about feeding the cat while we were out of town for the long weekend.
She called, but the cat sitter didn't answer.
She texted to see if we were still
good to talk tonight. The cat sitter
wrote back saying, sorry, I can't talk tonight.
I'm at a really loud pie eating
contest.
Did the wife say this?
This is the babysitter.
The cat sitter, yeah.
That's hella funny.
You know what? That's one of the This is the babysitter. The cat sitter, yeah. Oh, that's hella funny. Yeah, exactly.
You know what?
That's one of the legit reasons you can't take a call
is because you're at a pie-eating contest.
Yeah, a regular pie-eating contest?
No, loud, wet, a wet pie-eating contest.
They're playing Adele in here.
It's really bringing the mood down.
Dave shows up and pulls out his fast-eating card.
I'm here. I can only eat one pie but i'm gonna eat it fast i'm not a volume guy i'm a speed guy yeah you're like the guy who runs 100 meters right
off of the new york marathon like i was in the lead for a couple seconds yeah
oh now in addition to overheards that are written and we also accept your phone calls if you want Oh, shit.
Now, in addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls.
If you want to call us, our phone number is 1-844-779-7631.
That's one.
Ugh.
SpyPod 1, like these people have.
Hi, David Graham.
This is Kate calling from California with an overheard. I was at my local taco truck the other day. This guy walked up and he started looking at the menu and he asked the guy who was working there, he goes, hey, do you guys still have the, uh, the, uh, and he's kind of like scanning the menu like he's looking for some word
that he can't remember and he goes
do you guys still have the
I think it was called a
chicken burrito
oh
and the doctor turned to him and was like
yeah
okay love you guys
oh the chicken burrito
no we only had that one night
one night on special.
You just can't.
I was like, what?
What'd you tell?
What's that?
Yeah.
The first thing they ordered.
No, you must have been thinking of another place.
We're a taco truck.
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
We don't serve burritos.
I mean, you could roll up our taco into like mini burritos.
You roll up a bunch of tacos into a ball.
I think I would have eaten that as a kid, just a bunch of tortilla flats and just rolling them up in a ball and eating them.
I would do that now, not going to lie.
I think, yeah.
Tortillas are delicious.
They're the best.
Shout out to Tortilla.
I'll be honest.
It's my favorite part of a burrito.
It's just that little folded over portion. It's the best. At'll be honest. It's my favorite part of a burrito. It's just that little folded over portion.
It's the best.
At the very end.
That's like the prize for eating the burrito.
You get that little thing at the end.
It's like getting a prize from the dentist, you know?
You're like, ah, this was okay.
This was pretty good.
Here's your next phone call.
Hey, this is Justin calling from Phoenix.
I have an overheard.
Hey, this is Justin calling from Phoenix.
I have an overheard.
My nephew has recently started going to preschool.
He's four, and so he's picked up on some toxic masculinity stuff,
so now he hates rainbows.
And we saw this really great rainbow, and everybody was all excited.
And he said very indignantly that it was gross and declared, I won't even look at a rainbow.
And then he said, my favorite part, rainbows stink.
So anyway, I thought that was pretty cool.
I've never smelled a rainbow before.
Anyway, off I go.
Yeah, they would smell damp at the very least.
Yeah.
I say cancel the four-year-old.
Yeah, cancel that kid.
Ew.
He's up to no good.
I was going to say Dennis Rodman. That's incorrect. Dennis the Menace is what I was
going for. Dennis Rodman loves a rainbow.
Yeah, that's true.
He'd be a big rainbow guy.
There was a brilliant rainbow here in vancouver a couple of weeks ago people are still talking about it this kid would
have hated it he would have given it the finger when uh when the caller said that uh this kid
has gotten into some toxic masculinity dino pumped his fist just because that's really
funny man like how he goes he picked up on like who's he hanging with like you know i mean
like yeah what motherfucker you know got time to smell some rainbows you pussy you know get up man
you got it funny well jordan peterson is now teaching uh preschool
he's got the kids on an all-meat yeah exactly where they have a nap everybody gets a steak
i picked up some you don't just pick up some who's the guy yeah that crazy it is like once you start mixing boys and girls around uh it's uh okay it's it's you're
either a unicorn or you're not yeah you're either with the unicorns or you're against them yeah
but like and uh boys can be a truck if they want to yeah they can be a unicorn or a truck
and vice versa girls can be a truck yeah it's the dinos can be a truck. Dinos can be a truck, for crying out loud. That's the gender binary.
You're either a unicorn or a truck.
Yeah, yeah.
And I say there's shades in between, you know?
Yeah, absolutely. There's convertibles.
You can be a unicorn. You can be a truck with a
hoarder. Yes, yes, absolutely.
You can be neither. Yeah, that's right.
You don't even have to participate, so there.
Thank you. Here's your final overheard.
Hi, Dave Graham and possible guests. This is Cal calling here's your final overheard i dave grand impossible guess this is cal calling from regina with an overheard i was walking downtown the other day through
some construction i was walking under a scaffold in a hoarding and there were a couple like 40
some year old ladies on the other end of it coming towards me but it was hoarded and i could hear them talking and one says to the other no i'm serious when i take garrett to hockey and i'm in the hockey
rink no socks there either and the other one says to her no way you bitch get out of here
all right thank you it is pretty bitchy yeah you sockless you told me arena you told me we were gonna
both wear socks i specifically asked you you bitch um yeah that sockless whore is for the
streets i don't know what to say i don't know if that's you know you you're i imagine i've seen
you in a loafer you're a sockless guy from time to time. You know what, man? I like socks.
You know, I like a fresh pair of fresh socks out of the dryer.
Yeah.
Give me socks.
You know, if the weather's right and my toes get to go in between the blades of soft grass.
Gotta do it.
Right?
I'm describing it.
But if not, I got socks on right now this collar also described
hoarding yeah as like not with a like breezeway that near a construction site i was assuming
yeah it was hoarded in oh i didn't i i look that part of the call was unnecessary and I, it was very confusing, but it was worth it to get through it.
Cause if,
if she went like,
cause her kid has to wear socks,
right?
During hockey,
there's no sockless hockey.
No,
I think you could.
Yeah.
You think so?
Sure.
I mean,
you get a lot of blisters.
Players play with,
uh,
players are very,
uh,
particular about their,
let's play,
man. Yeah. Hmm. Yeah. Players don't play, man.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They're just going to hate.
Yeah.
And I'm just going to shake, shake it off.
Well, that brings us to the end of this year podcast.
Dino, thank you so much for being our guest.
And it's always a pleasure.
I was just waiting for the invite.
And you got it.
And I made it happen.
Now, you've got a podcast, your own podcast, out every week?
Every week.
Two episodes.
What is it called?
Two episodes a week?
Are you crazy?
Yes, because no one's watching except 100 people.
Shout out to them.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, time to expand your base.
We told people not to watch it, though, every episode.
So that was on us.
So that was also.
Spread your own propaganda.
Yeah, no, we got it.
We got that every week.
Strictly Beloved Podcast on my YouTube channel.
Dino Archie on YouTube.
You put it up there.
It's all free goofs and spoofs.
Toxic, but safe.
Let's go.
And you,
you have many,
you have three albums out.
Is that right?
I have four,
four,
four out.
And the late,
where can they,
uh,
where can they find that?
If you band camp,
my website,
Dean Archie.com.
There you go.
Make it easy.
One-stop shop.
Dean Archie.com.
Yes.
And you know what?
Check out his Instagram for some of this Drip Lord merchandise.
Looks pretty cool.
Not bad.
Can I plug one last thing?
You can plug 10 things.
No, no.
Just one, my friend.
Okay.
Just one.
I have this The Vancity comedy extravaganza.
Oh,
yes.
January 8th at the Vogue Theater.
Graham has been a guest.
Mm-hmm.
You can vouch for it.
It's a good time.
It's a good time.
And the audience is very,
they are very there for it.
So it's.
They are.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's a safe place to,
for the night talk for that.
Who's on that show?
I got Ivan Decker. Dave. Dave. Dave. Dave. Dave. Dave. to uh to for the night talk for that who's on that show i got ivan decker
andrea jen yay only people that don't have junos
yeah so sophie buttle uh did she win a juno yeah she won she was the first one yeah our beloved sophie is
on there uh i got marito lopez that's my co-host for the podcast yeah and um yeah man and it's
gonna be it's gonna be definitely a great time i got a dj there i bring a dj on stage icy touch
it's my birthday show oh yeah that's great it's the shit man when is it when is
this going january 8th january saturday january 8th tickets are moving i really you know we're
actually selling tickets like well before the show which doesn't happen in vancouver unless
you're a star so yeah it might start you know i hate to tell you you're a star welcome back welcome back
so yeah get tickets to that speaking of shows dave do you have something yes you oh i mean
i got a couple things to plug but you can go ahead uh on december 17th to the 18th, I'm going to be doing a 24-hour stand-up set at Little Mountain Gallery to help them raise some funds for their relocation because their location is getting demolished.
How long is the show going to be?
24 hours.
How long is that?
It's 24 short of an Eddie Murphy, Nick Nolte joint.
Oh, okay.
It's like six Dino churches.
Yes, it's like six Dino churches, absolutely.
And I do all this stuff.
I push people down on the ground.
What time of the day does this start?
This starts at 8 p.m. on Friday.
And what time does it end?
8 p.m. on Saturday.
So that's like a whole day.
It's a whole day.
Yeah.
Make a day. Wow. on Saturday. So that's like a whole day. It's a whole day. Yeah. Make a day.
Wow.
That's what I say.
So this is the kind of thing people donate to help the cause of Little Mountain Gallery,
one of the great local venues.
Yeah.
And they also, so people can come by and watch the show at any time.
Yeah.
They got to buy tickets.
But yeah, you can come any hour of the day.
But you go buy a ticket and then you can go see
an hour of the show?
You can watch 10 hours of the show.
No, it's all slots this time around.
You can buy a slot, but you can buy a slot,
you can buy 10 slots?
You can buy 10 slots, absolutely.
Yeah.
So that, if you want to find out more,
you can go to standupfor24hours.com.
That's, you know, it's brill.
Brilliant, babe.
Is this English?
I have a couple of things to plug.
Yeah, what are you plugging?
One is Graham and I will be doing a live Stop Podcasting Yourself in Edmonton.
That's right.
Dino has done another dive off the diving board uh this is going to be january 29th as part of uh winter eruption in edmonton alberta we're going to edmonton in al in uh january like
a couple of idiots yeah well let me tell you flights weren't
expensive um so yeah tickets for that are at winterruptionieg.com i think you're at the moment
you can just buy passes for the whole thing but yeah yeah come see us because we can come see you if we were yeah last time we were
in edmonton it was a weird show in a like uh yeah church basement or yeah some kind of um
mason's hall yeah yeah yeah and well like we could tell the people above us were having more fun
seeing jonathan richmond that's right there was a more fun show happening right on top of us.
And I want to just remind people,
go to MaximumFun.org
slash join if you would like to hear our
bonus episodes. We release two bonus
episodes a month.
We did a really fun one this month
where we watched Canadian
Heritage Minutes.
Yes, yeah. And we also,
we have hot topics on the regular so if you're
interested in a yeah if you want to hear about joe rogan s-ing his own d that's coming out later
this week um uh again thank you so much dino for being a guest thank you everybody out there for
listening uh you know and keep your ears open for them overheards take care of yourself and
come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself.