Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 721 - Taz VanRassel

Episode Date: January 11, 2022

Improviser Taz VanRassel returns to talk investing, Phantom Thread, and James Bond....

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 721 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name's Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who we were just talking before the podcast likes a meal replacement called Ensure where I'm more of a boost man, Mr. Dave Shumka. Yeah, we were talking about getting boosted and it made me think of the Kanye West song Through the Wire where he says he has a boost for breakfast and ensure for dessert nice switching them up i like that um but then it
Starting point is 00:00:51 also um well whatever you know i yeah i haven't actually ever had any of these meal replacements so that's showing my privilege i you know what i like to eat for a meal food food yeah i when i was in high school i drank one of them a day like uh instant breakfast it was called carnation isn't breakfast yeah that's the one i used to drink it every day the song no carnation instant breakfast you're gonna love it in an instant nice good that was good boost and then boost they did a kind of a mashup where Boost came in and did a verse. Was doing a guest appearance. And then they did
Starting point is 00:01:32 one of those special K bars came in and spat a few bars. Special K! Our guest today, a returning guest here to the podcast, a guy we always very much enjoy having on. He is part of the Sunday service that performs every Sunday, whether it's online, whether it's in person, whether sleet nor rain nor snow will stop these guys. The Sunday service.
Starting point is 00:01:58 And also, he's part of a group that teaches improv. A blind tiger. It's Taz Van Rassel it's me hey it's you thank you for being our guest thanks for having me i used to drink uh oxo like broth oh yeah oh yeah oxo cubes yeah yeah i was thinking that was uh in some way had protein when i was like in my early 20s like yeah i think it probably do me for lunch yeah yeah one oxo cube and maybe a cigarette there you go this was when you were modeling yeah um why did you know what are you protein averse do you not want to have like a hard-boiled
Starting point is 00:02:38 egg no i was poor and i didn't think of the egg thing. An egg is probably the same price. Yeah, it's true. I don't know. When I was young, I didn't think about eggs either because I only knew how to prepare them one way. Yeah, nog. Exactly. I knew how to make my own nog. I saved money by making my own nog
Starting point is 00:03:00 because I was in my 20s. And you know what? I put it towards a mortgage and look at me now. Yeah, I poured nog on my avocado toast and so now i'm destitute should we uh get to know us yes get to know us taz how are you doing my well. Yeah. You know, it's a funny time of the year. What is that funny time? This pandemic surge?
Starting point is 00:03:32 Everything snowed in and there's a pandemic. Oh, yeah. I've fully stayed inside. I don't know how many days in a row, but it's going forever. Wouldn't it be great if there was, instead of like a prolonged years-long pandemic if we just got a month-long pandemic every january yeah that would be all right oh like the purge but a month i guess a month of the purge everybody on the planet would be dead wait except for the smart ones and the rich ones that's right did the purge happen worldwide or it was just an american phenomena i can't remember i think canon
Starting point is 00:04:06 it is american right i didn't watch the tv but maybe there's so many sequels too they probably did a worldwide page australia it's the page it's the page the page and path uh have you ever seen that movie, Taz? Oh, yes. Yeah, I've seen a bunch of them. I've only seen the first one. Are the other ones decent to watch? No, it's just like once you start, you have to keep watching them.
Starting point is 00:04:38 Yeah, that's true. Do you feel that way about everything? Yeah, I'm a bit of a completionist. Are you? So once once i start unless it's really bad and i just lose interest but i'm a creationist no you're a creationist yeah yeah yeah i want to know what uh like i saw the like first few uh fast the furious is and then i want to know how dinosaurs came to came to be yeah same time. They both started at the same time. And any bones you find are a conspiracy.
Starting point is 00:05:09 Vin Diesel's or otherwise. How many of the Fast and the Furious have you seen? I haven't completed the set. All right. There you go. Is there anything that's really nagging you that you know you have to complete but it feels like homework uh the the nightmare on elm street series they they kind of drop off dramatically in quality after i like the second one and then
Starting point is 00:05:39 the third and fourth and fifth kind of yeah the second one is the one was the the very like homoerotic undertones you were secretly put in and then the guy finally admitted like years later yeah that's exactly what he was doing it's it's great it's a you know it's an early entry into the queer cinema verse and along with the baba duke the baba dukeook also. Very big. How many Nightmare on Elm Street are there? Ten? Yeah, I was going to say there's at least like five or six, but there's probably more. Are there more Friday the 13th? There's about 11.
Starting point is 00:06:17 I watched all of those last year. The Friday the 13th? And it was really hard to find some of them. Like Jason in Space was hard to find. But I found it. I've seen Jason in Space. It's pretty excellent. I remember seeing, boy, it was the early 2000s and I went to a movie and they showed a preview for Jason in Space.
Starting point is 00:06:37 Where the song in the preview was, let the bodies hit the floor. Let the bodies hit the floor. in the preview was let the bodies hit the floor let the bodies hit the which is like a completely antithetical to zero gravity where the bodies just will you know they'll go wherever they might hit the ceiling at this rate let the bodies float about yeah the uh the person in front of me in the movie theater when the trailer ended just turned to their friend and said that looks good let's go see that we haven't seen any of the other ones let's start at 10
Starting point is 00:07:10 at one point in the Jason in space he finds a machete but it's like a futuristic machete that's all I kind of remember it's like shiny I don't remember well I remember in the video store when it came out it's the video hit the store it said jason tan and then underneath it just said he's
Starting point is 00:07:33 in space that was the jason space all right all right we admit it fine fine um did you so you saw the friday the 13th i did i've watched all the american pie films is that does that count even though like director videos yeah yeah oh there's a new one i haven't seen though that i saw on netflix so i'm one short it's like their grandkids yeah or like there was one where it's just band camp or there's one that's like stifler's brother is the guy the naked mile the naked mile exactly or is that a van wilder no i think you're right i think it's american pie naked mile are they still horny yeah they're still okay absolutely in van wilder they do they do a naked mile this is before the rise of taj oh yes the rise of taj
Starting point is 00:08:23 absolutely uh that's canon they're all in the same universe people don't realize that there's one character that connects all of the horny movies i forgot about that is it taj is taj taj is in all those movies um that's national wampoons too so that's right yeah that's connected yeah connected in many ways. The, um, uh, there's, are there a new generation of horny movies or we, as a culture,
Starting point is 00:08:50 have we moved past? I think there are, but they're just like, uh, like more, uh, kind like, like,
Starting point is 00:09:00 wasn't like, uh, bad boys. What was that one? Not bad boys. That's a different movie. You know, the one about the, the, the boys who? Not Bad Boys. That's a different movie. You know the one about the boys who were trying to kiss, go to a kissing party?
Starting point is 00:09:10 Oh. It was really cute. We had the boy from Room. The little Canadian boy. Yeah. Was it called Good Boys? Maybe. Yeah, I think so. And that was cute and fun, also like kind of like horny and
Starting point is 00:09:26 gross yeah yeah yeah okay so like just now there's more there's maybe more breadth of uh of exploration on these yeah films and they like explore consent more yes yeah they used to you know like booksmart was like that it was good smart yeah yeah yeah yeah and that one was horny girls which which we never had back in the day that's true yeah they weren't invented when i was when i was young there were no horny girls for miles no um was there was one that netflix wanted me to watch called kissing booth that seems very wholesome yes kissing booth is although whenever they would have those in a tv show or a movie i was like this Netflix wanted me to watch called Kissing Booth. That seems very wholesome. Yes. Kissing Booth is, although whenever they would have those in a TV show or a movie, I was like,
Starting point is 00:10:09 this is a thing that a hundred percent doesn't exist in real life. And is, is, you know, pre COVID was just like, you're going to get something. You're going to get some sort of cold sore, or you're going to be too close to the person.
Starting point is 00:10:22 You're going to get head lice. You're going to fall in love. I saw Kissing Booth once at an adult party and it was like, sore or you're gonna be too close to the person you're gonna get head lice uh you're gonna fall in love i saw a kissing booth once at an adult party and it was like uh at the people's prom i don't know if you guys ever remember that it was like a valentine's thing that happened in east van and it was like come on down dress up like prom and we have a kissing booth and even then i was like i don't know that's who was in the kissing booth i don't know some horny adults they wanted to do it you have to say at the door to get in we're horny adults if you have you ever seen in real life mistletoe like a real mistletoe or like a like a kissing situation a missile something set up as like stand under here and
Starting point is 00:11:07 you have to kiss yeah vancouver the city set it up all over town yeah we're trying to make the city more magical yeah have you not seen those no really yeah they really did off of like lamppost it's very weird and every time i'm like no what i have no i i thought you were joking no it's uh if you happen to be crossing paths with god knows who you buy you're by law have to do it and then you have to take a photo and there's a hashtag yeah you have to post the photo otherwise you're getting fined five thousand dollars wow yeah it's big it's a big vine yeah from the people who brought you the orcas yeah we had orcas and we also had bears i was the other and eagles oh yeah we had eagles too that's right spirit bear eagle for people who don't know what this is it's like a bunch of animal statues that are decked out with different designs or logos yeah like a company
Starting point is 00:12:08 really cookie cutter yes yeah yeah like you know uh a law firm or a bank will buy we've uh commissioned one of these bears and it's going to be in our bank colors and we're giving back to the community in some way through this yeah i don't see you don't see them around very much anymore i know there's one at like a corner like a kiddie corner to a safe way there's one if you're trying if you're coming to vancouver and you want to see this bear this is one of the destinations you want to check out uh it's in front of a community center i want to say uh possibly a library do you know the one i'm talking about taz i'm sure there's a digital map so you can see them all i know where a lot of them are the roadie bear is near whole foods down uh down in canby there oh where's that roadie it's like
Starting point is 00:13:00 just in front of a weird business building on a side street. Just a weird side street, no less. Yeah. So it's like, oh, here's a roadie bear. And there's an all silver bear above the I-place. Oh, yeah. Main street. Mount Pleasant Optical. And there's a bunch on Oak and like 24th.
Starting point is 00:13:21 Yeah, that's like Children's Hospital or Children's Make-A-Wish related. And they bought all the other ones, like Batman and Spider-Man or something. Yes, yes. There was one that had past guest Brent Butt. It was all decked out like Brent Butt wearing a bear costume.
Starting point is 00:13:41 So they like... Yeah, yeah. They like chiseled his face into it and he had like a hoodie on that looked like a bear that was in the ctv lobby which is now right a victoria secret so did they keep the brent butt there and uh yeah they had to repaint it wearing a pink frilly number wearing a teddy is that the victoria's secret that used to be the library yeah and in between it was the virgin mega store oh right yeah yeah yeah uh apparently ctv is still there it's up above uh but you have to get through the horniest part of downtown to get to them so
Starting point is 00:14:19 victoria's secret yeah it's the horniest part of downtown? Hmm. No, there's like a row of sex shops on Granville. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, there's some of that. Man, still standing. I love it. Yeah. How are they doing? The horny sex shops?
Starting point is 00:14:34 Yeah. Are they okay? I think they're steady. I think no matter what event, I bet you during like the depression, like porn films were still getting made, you know, with Buster. Getting made during the depression like porn films were still getting made you know with getting made during the depression well there's couples on a train coming right for the camera they're fucking right at me you think nothing will stop porn nothing will will stop porn. Porn will find a way. No, of course. What about solar flare?
Starting point is 00:15:06 Like a big magnetic pulse that takes out all the digital media? Yeah, or maybe it kills boners, huh? Oh, yeah. It'd have to be pretty strong. But there would be somebody still graffitiing stuff on the side of rocks and things like that regardless of what their body is doing they'd still like they would still see it still yeah
Starting point is 00:15:32 it's it's it's just a part of who we are as a people you know and wherever porn goes technology follows do you think boy never mind I have no follow-up questions. Did you have a follow-up question? No, I have like 10, but they're all gross.
Starting point is 00:15:58 Yeah, there's a... Wasn't... Oh, the arcade. That's what just closed on Granville. The arcade that was there forever and ever. That was still there? That was like... Yeah uh you had to be 19 to go in yeah because there was i think in the back there was some of those uh like put a quarter in and watch like 10 minutes yeah like kind of deal 10 minutes this guy's got his head his eyes glued to this disgusting thing for 10 minutes for a quarter yeah but you see some guy walking in with a whole stack of quarters a whole roll
Starting point is 00:16:31 and then you don't see him for the rest of the night yeah well it's an arcade of course he's got a roll of quarters but uh well i i thought maybe it was like they served alcohol oh no but a lot of people bought drugs in there from what what I gather. It was a very easy place to go buy drugs. It was right next to the Ross. It was our Times Square. Yes, that's right. And it just closed, like, just closed a couple months ago. And so, you know,
Starting point is 00:16:55 I played the Aerosmith video game there. What? Yeah. You're the band Aerosmith, and you go through zapping people with a guitar and a microphone stand and whatnot. Is it horny? It is pretty horny, actually.
Starting point is 00:17:12 Aerosmith is horny as hell. Yeah. I watched the Aerosmith peep show there. Surprisingly not horny. Yeah. It's very wholesome. They're having a picnic. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:24 It was gross. No matter what they do, it's gross, even if it's not horny. very wholesome having a picnic yeah it was gross no matter what they do it's gross even if it's not horny that's true like i don't know it's just crazy that we live on the same planet as steven tyler you know like it's it's a privilege i feel part of the planet do you think he lives on uh the uh he's not in our hemisphere yeah oh you think he's in florida yeah that's probably a good bet he's living on the edge nice nice real good so taz what have you been up to tell us to spin us a yarn tell us a tale oh just uh living away from society, on the edge a little bit. No, not too much.
Starting point is 00:18:11 I started investing this year. Here we go. I had money in the bank that has just been sitting there, and it's not a lot of money. But I was like, oh, I should do something with this. Yeah. So I put it into a TFSA. Nice.
Starting point is 00:18:28 Nice. Nice. And tell the listeners what the hell that is. Because I totally know what it is. But if you could tell the listeners, that would help me out a lot. It's a tax-free savings account. And so what does that do? I don't know, really.
Starting point is 00:18:43 I put it in there and it it it invests into like indexes or something oh and then uh you uh it doesn't get taxed until you take it out and then it gets taxed no it's just like that yeah deferred tax paying mechanism i'm so tired of these billionaires like avoiding taxes by any means necessary yeah uh are you talking about me yeah that's what i did i put my thousands of dollars in there the uh yeah the only like the investing i'm very curious about as i've said uh the past episodes is crypto crypto my crypto i'm the one nfts these i want to see some non-fungibles nfts have now become like also like task master kind of stuff as well is that right like what it's like you pay somebody to come do a task rabbit task rabbit yeah that one what you can pay them in crypto
Starting point is 00:19:45 i think i don't know this is all very third party but uh but someone was saying that the uh you know the guy from uh al from from tool time richard karn yeah thank you did not know where this was going. He was recently put out, like it's become a meme where he's like, I won't be investing in NFTs. And people have been passing that around. It's very funny. But apparently he was thinking about it
Starting point is 00:20:15 and NFTs are now becoming more for celebrities, more of a thing where you can go like golfing or go fishing with... I don't really understand. And go fishing with al and it's an i don't know where the digital gif comes into it uh i don't know from what i understand it's like a trading card but it doesn't exist it's like somewhere on the internet. But you own. That's what I thought it was too. But yeah, that's what it is.
Starting point is 00:20:46 Like you own this clip and nobody else has that clip except. Oh no, other people may have it, but you're the only owner of it. So the NBA does that. Now you can buy their experience. They'll come to your house and set up your hi-fi system. I would love for Al Borland to come to my house i don't think so tim that's what i want an nft of al borland saying i don't think so tim doesn't matter the episode doing like a snap snap snap and a z formation yeah and hi-fi systems are
Starting point is 00:21:21 still a thing right yeah yeah it's the only fidelity i like i remember we had like speaker cable speaker wires going running all over the house and like hidden behind uh books on bookcases and like going between floors just to get the hi-fi set up yeah cool that's right yeah i remember that too now you just got a recessed little speaker in your ceiling yeah and then like you didn't you have to put i was recently in your house dave i saw it oh yeah yeah yeah we've got some wirelesses nice that came to my house when i was away i saw everything mostly i sat there my partner was looking after
Starting point is 00:22:06 your adorable dog monster and I just sat there and tried not to terrify monster who was hiding in the cloakroom staring at me shaking I was like well I'm gonna go yeah it took him a few days to loosen up
Starting point is 00:22:22 is he loosened up now or is he still as he attends not to me no to to the to taz's partner who was taking care of him yeah apparently it took a while for him to go cuddle with her yeah it took only a day and then he was like you are in charge of me now yeah my family's dead yeah Yeah. Time to move on. They don't know. So you've invested. That's great. You've invested in TFSAs, NFTs.
Starting point is 00:22:55 And I found some old RRSPs back when I had a real job. Nice. Track down and talk to a weird banking system. I love it. Yeah. And they are just fluctuating. I don't know if you guys know the market is crazy right now yeah it's like up 300 and then down 200 it's like what two steps forward two steps back yeah also you're not supposed to look at them every single day well that's the fun of having them that's why you
Starting point is 00:23:24 have them and you can look at them when you're in line somewhere or at a red light. Yeah, it's just something fun. It's like a 20-year investment. Yeah. But, you know, what if it goes high before 20 years?
Starting point is 00:23:38 That's what I understand. You're supposed to sell it high. Like you get wicked baked and then you sell it. Yeah, you should buy stocks when you're like depressed. Right. And sell them when you're
Starting point is 00:23:54 so like absolutely buttered on toast or whatever they say. Buttered on toast. Oh, you guys, I'm getting totally buttered on toast today. Oh yeah, melt me over some asparagus i am on drugs um yeah you guys do drugs yeah i love them yeah cool let me give you a list
Starting point is 00:24:16 i'm gonna get it i'm doing an nft of a cocaine yeah dave's got one cocaine he's looking to sell it so one granule one granule of cocaine street value 15 million dollars cool and then also you'll come over and and yeah oh yeah sure yeah no i've got to put the granule in your nose along with uh and Balky partaking so yeah Balky's probably got a couple good NFTs kicking around he's probably got a little bit of cocaine if you've seen that schnoz on him that's true he's his counterpart
Starting point is 00:24:59 I've been trying to catch up on Succession and his cousin Larry makes an appearance in Succession. Very briefly, but he looks good. Yeah, I'm on season two as well, and I just saw him for the first time. Yeah, he looks good. I think he's aged well. I would absolutely watch a reboot of Perfect Strangers if that's in the off.
Starting point is 00:25:20 He looks like he's in The Grateful Dead now, which is great. Yes. He has a great look. Yeah, he's got kind of like a, doesn't he have like a twirly mustache in it? Yeah, it's like long and kind of long hair. Yeah, yeah. No, I think he looks good. Mark Lindbergh.
Starting point is 00:25:33 He's a billionaire, you know, like everyone on that show. Everybody's a billionaire on that show. Also, a billion dollars that's just thrown around like that's chump change. They're always just saying well we'll throw 44 billion at this thing yeah well because you know what it is it's a million dollars isn't cool what is cool well okay do you know what is what uh uh wait which what did i say before it wasn't million okay billion um the uh i we had the mad magazine my family my magazines were sort of the original nfts and your family it was like the family bible
Starting point is 00:26:12 you all gathered around a red man yeah yeah yeah uh it was a ribbon down the middle of it to keep track of what passage we were on uh and uh i remember the we had the one that had the spoof of perfect strangers oh nice do you want to guess the name of it uh imperfect strangers perf yet yet strong i can't channel changers how about that that's good. The answer is perfectly strange. Oh, it was too simple. Yeah. Mad Magazine strikes again.
Starting point is 00:26:52 I wouldn't want to be Belky Bartok of us at this moment. I also remember Seinfeld was Swinefield. Swinefield? That's good. I guess. Yeah, it's just anything that was a play on words even if it had nothing to do with the as long as it was like a negative play on words like we're not gonna like you know spoof you to the stars yeah that's right just a gentle uh uh your ribbing is what
Starting point is 00:27:19 spoof you to the stars as they say there's a there's two wikipedia articles that have all of the mad magazine tv spoofs and all the magazine movie spoofs read them to us give us a couple chance to guess hmm
Starting point is 00:27:39 okay I didn't know they had them in like the 60s oh yeah what's the Mary Tyler Moore show I don't know very terrible no
Starting point is 00:28:02 the Mary Taylor Maid show okay that's what's the one you were laughing at so hard okay well the 60s ones are amazing okay guess what the spoof of Lassie was Lassie
Starting point is 00:28:19 Lizzie just another name it's just a different name. Okay. Okay. Guess what the Rifleman was? The Awfulman. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:36 The Rifleman. With a comma. Alright. Because of the beat generation. I guess so. How about Batman? Batman. Bad.
Starting point is 00:28:49 Muh. It's Batsman. They're not even trying. Oh, God. Oh, man. Okay, guess what 77 Sunset Strip was? oh god oh man guess what 77 sunset strip was 777
Starting point is 00:29:10 sunset strip that one they did spoof it to the stars yeah when did they figure out puns the 80s Star Trek was Starblech yeah Blech was I knew knew that's gonna be in there yeah what was mod bland mod was bod b-a-w-d-e sure sure why not okay how about murphy brown
Starting point is 00:29:41 oh yeah murphy brown that's a good one. Maude ran, so she could... Oh, Murphy Brown is Murky Brown. Murky Brown? Okay, not bad. Anyway, we can't do this all day. Well, we want to, can't we? It's a bonus episode. It's got a bonus episode written all over it.
Starting point is 00:29:59 Yeah, it really does. Did you, Taz, when you were a youth, did you read the Mad Magazine? Yes, I did. and also Cracked yes yeah and Crazy oh you read Crazy that was a hard one to find Cracked you could get kind of anywhere but wasn't there
Starting point is 00:30:17 Crazy and Cracked was the janitor and Crazy was a guy with like an egg head hmm I don't know Cracked was like a little boy janitor yeah yeah like a little rag coming out of his back pocket and overalls yeah he was called like
Starting point is 00:30:33 Nigel or something like that he had just like a regular old name and but cracked was always like a level down don't you feel like it was like magazine really nailed it and then cracked kind of like was the mad tv to saturday night live yeah i didn't i didn't figure that out till i was in my teens so when you're when you're younger you don't know i also had go bots and i was like these
Starting point is 00:30:53 are great what is the was it go by the thing that transformed as well or is it just uh yeah yeah it was just a poorer version nice nice yeah remember the ones that they had at McDonald's that were like turned into a french fry and turned into a hamburger no really oh shit I thought you guys for sure of all the guys you
Starting point is 00:31:17 would know Muppet Babies all the way yeah those Muppet Baby ones went a long way yeah Fraggle Rock ones where they're in the little vegetables. Oh, yeah. I just gave away a set of those, so you know, nostalgic value doesn't last forever. That's
Starting point is 00:31:34 what people need to know. Those were the original NFTs. Yeah, I made them into an NFT. There's also, I made an NFT of me slam dunking a basketball and one of me doing an awesome hacky sack trick these are all for sale at my website GrahamNFT.com
Starting point is 00:31:55 how much for the six stall? I'll take interesting trades and or best offer I'm not going to put a price on it because uh you know somebody big fish may come in you know and they make a lot of money um i'll come to your house and reboot your wi-fi just unplug it and plug it back yeah i'm plugging and plugging it back in wait for 10 seconds though yeah yeah don't worry there's no rush they tell you to wait for a minute but no one's waiting for a minute i did it right before we did the show smart oh yeah um when you were youth taz you're reading mad magazine did you skateboard did you do anything like that what was your what kept you busy after school i also skateboarded fire sticks i know that i did did Firesticks. I skateboarded. I loved West Beach.
Starting point is 00:32:46 It was a store right near me because I grew up kind of around 4th Avenue. It was owned by Chip Wilson. Oh, was it? We didn't know he was a bad person back then. His house was worth $75 million. Would a bad person have a house
Starting point is 00:33:02 worth $75 million? For the listener who's not a local celebrity, Chip Wilson, he's 75 million dollars would a bad person have a house worth 75 the listener who's not it doesn't know local celebrity chip wilson he's uh the founder of lululemon yes lululemon yeah no longer affiliated he was bought out yeah he was the board succession style yeah sure yeah by mark lynn baker um he uh i did like after um ted x talks here in vancouver i did comedy after him because he was so boring they said he's so boring you guys we have to end on a kind of nice note so and it's true it was boring um okay okay well you know he's a friend and you know he can take a bit of ripping but i used to serve him soup but soup spoons oh nice what did he get yeah what's he chicken lemongrass probably chicken very popular yeah
Starting point is 00:33:55 and his son was very uh very what's that what's that word when uh kids are acting like adults ostentatious maybe oh uh? Oh, precocious. Precocious, very. He was just like, so, what do you make an hour here? He would just ask me very adult questions and he was like, maybe 10 at the time. Yeah, he was like, I'll double it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:19 And now he owns Kitten Ace, I guess? I don't know if that's still a thing. But West Beach was a very, like, does that exist anymore? I don't think so. But you had to have the hoodie in my school. Yeah, it was a hoodie brand that also made surfboards and snowboards. And was from Kitsilano, where no surfing happens.
Starting point is 00:34:48 snowboard and was was from kits alano where yeah nothing happens i have a i still have like i went out today in my west beach snowboard coat from 20 years ago whoa nice there you go yeah very cool made to last they were expensive i didn't go snowboarding the hoodies were like 60 when i was a kid i remember it was like i couldn't afford one. I remember the guy in my class that had one. He was the only guy. Didn't make it over to Alberta, but he was held up as pretty special for having one. I got this coat about 20 years ago and
Starting point is 00:35:15 I had a lot of money back then. I should have put it in an RSP but instead I put it in a COAT coat. There you go. But you still have have it so that's still an investment technically yeah and it's fluctuating right now because of the snow so
Starting point is 00:35:33 what's the oldest object of clothing that you still wear like I'm trying to picture my own what would be the oldest I think I have an old like buffalo check shirt. I feel like that's my eldest garment that I can squeeze into. Like, from my 20s.
Starting point is 00:35:56 I've had it a good amount of time. Doesn't really fit anymore, but I still have it. Dave, yours is the West Beach thing, I assume. I guess it is, because I haven't gone snowboarding in 15 years. But I can like, it's a good coat for days like this where it snowed, but it's also dripping out of the trees. Oh, man. This is like getting hit in the head with a giant pound of snow weather. Yeah, it's one of know about that kind of weather.
Starting point is 00:36:28 A giant pound of snow. Hey, Greg, what weighs more, a giant pound of snow or a giant pound of feathers? Dave, a giant pound of snow is way heavier. Doy. He's from Calgary. Yeah. He knows. I still have a public enemy t-shirt oh shit
Starting point is 00:36:46 from elementary school that I found like five years ago I was like I can still wear it but I can't also it says fear of a black planet on the back I can't still wear this I was sporting that if you sell it you'll probably get like
Starting point is 00:37:02 I bet you'll get you could get $150 for that because everybody loves t-shirts now If you sell it, you'll probably get like, I bet you'll get, you could get $150 for that. For like, because everybody loves t-shirts now. Cool, it's a size small, let me know. Sure. Hit me up on Instagram if you want that t-shirt. That song by Macklemore, Thrift Shop, was on the radio the other day, and he mentions that $50 for a t-shirt is too much.
Starting point is 00:37:30 Yeah, that's true. And he also wants to wear your grandpa's pajamas or something. Yeah, it smells like urine, I think he says. Yes, yes. Public Enemy ran so Macklemore could thrift shop. That's true. It's all related. macklemore could thrift shop that's true it's all related um yeah that macklemore you i don't hear a peep out of him these days how is he is he okay is he like porn shops yeah has he been has he been shut down is he on vacation what is is he still shaving
Starting point is 00:38:00 the sides of his head yeah yeah yeah what kind of hairdo is he rocking these days um because then he went he went in a grammy or something right you think i give a fuck about a grammy that was him right that was him yeah um no he uh he and ryan lewis let's i let's not leave ryan lewis that's right more and ryan lewis equation uh. I'm sure they won Grammys. They did. Famously, they beat Kendrick Lamar. And everyone was like, no, this is wrong. And then they did a song about buying a scooter. Buying a scooter? The downtown
Starting point is 00:38:37 song? Maybe in brackets? The downtown song? And they did a song about how being gay is okay. So now they finally are okay with it because they said it was yeah exactly macklemore was the last vote yeah macklemore on the supreme court turned he wrote the decision on that one yeah yeah yeah and uh ryan lewis voted against it oh man he should do a song about abortion thank yes we need to hear about macklemore yeah when i was seven i thought abortion was bad but then my uncle was like
Starting point is 00:39:13 i had an abortion and i was like oh hey maybe this thing a little different and then the whole thing turns around and texas is free to do what they want huh yeah where is macklemore i wonder yeah and somewhere in washington yeah exactly Texas is free to do what they want. Huh? Yeah. Where is Matt Moore? I wonder. Yeah. Somewhere in Washington. Yeah, exactly. Lobbying.
Starting point is 00:39:31 Mr. Moore goes to Washington. I love it. Maybe he's still doing, maybe he's still touring around. No, he's from Seattle. I meant Washington state.
Starting point is 00:39:38 Oh, sure. I thought you meant Washington, uh, trying to make bills and whatnot. Laws. Yes. I hope so.
Starting point is 00:39:46 Yeah. Is Davey looking him up? See where he's at? Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Kind of a where's Waldo, but. He went to Evergreen State College in Olympia. Oh, hey, that's all right.
Starting point is 00:39:59 Olympia, not far from Tacoma. Home of the Tacoma Dome. Olympia's the capital of Washington, isn't it? That's true. Yeah, yeah. Where you can find Slater Kinney Road. Ah, minutiae. Thank you. Here we go. I like on Wikipedia how when you click on a famous person you can see their signature. What? Yeah, like if you look up any president they've got like a png file of their signature
Starting point is 00:40:26 oh man anyway that's an nft yeah that's true that's the new collecting signatures macklemore is uh his signature is all blocked letters cool that's cool did you ever get someone's signature oh yeah yeah when i was a kid I totally thought that was the best. They're not nobody famous though. I got a busker to sign something for me. I think I still have it. It probably made his day.
Starting point is 00:40:56 Sometimes kids ask me to sign their binder when I do school shows. It's very funny. You don't really... Well you're here anyways. You brought your very funny like you don't really okay well you're here anyways and you brought your own pen so i don't want to i don't need to be embarrassed because you do you still uh not in the past while but do you still do the traveling around from schools and performing
Starting point is 00:41:17 for the youngins uh yeah yeah yeah i did i did one recently and it was very surreal because they were all wearing masks and we were all wearing masks. It was just totally normal. Yeah. So it was surreal for me, but for the kids, they were just like, yeah, go do the show. Yeah. We haven't seen a face in so long. It's fine.
Starting point is 00:41:37 They must go nuts for it. We never had anything like that when I was in school like an improv or comedy show for the students yeah when you do an improv show for the schools is it does it have to have a message or anything kind of like loosely it's supposed to but we don't really you can tell they don't like that uh the kids aren't into that they just want to have fun and and yell weird memes at us that we don't understand so yeah what are the hot memes uh i don't know and haven't done it in like two years but uh yeah it's richard karn uh big chungus was big i think i've talked about this before oh yeah we totally discussed chungus
Starting point is 00:42:20 for sure yeah chungus rules the chungus among us big chungus big chungus fat bugs bunny yeah baby yeah man oh man now that's an nft see this is how it works stop saying things you're an nft you can't just say that and make it an nft you don't know what that means you're not like do you don't have a computer chugging in the background creating an NFT and burning fossil fuels or whatever. Yeah, that's true. Aren't they bad for the environment, NFTs? I say it was crypto that's bad. Yeah, crypto is bad.
Starting point is 00:42:54 I think they both are. Jeez Louise. Everything's bad. I think it's fine, though, that the last kind of gasp of the planet is making up coins. Yeah, that's true. That's actually... I support that. I think making up coins. That's actually I support that. I think it's cool.
Starting point is 00:43:07 It's cool. Dave, what's going on with you, man? Well, I also got my license. I know Kelly talked about that. Yeah, let's talk about that. I got my full license. Did you have your learners for 10 years like i had my hand last week 15 years 16 maybe what now i'm younger than you and when i was a teenager
Starting point is 00:43:38 uh it was much easier to get your driver's license yeah you just you got your learner's permit for like 30 days and then you could just after or maybe it was six months or something anyway but after that point you just got your full license yeah i didn't get my actual and until i was like 23 yeah it was so the way it the a few years later they changed it to you get your learners and then you have to drive around with an l on the back of your car right right and then take another test and get an n oh you get an n that's right new driver is the l a written test i think so yeah and you can only like you have to always have someone who's like super in charge in the car with you yeah and then the n you have is that a road test or a written that's a road test but
Starting point is 00:44:31 it's not like you don't go on the highway and i don't think you have to parallel park oh man and then there's restrictions you can't have anyone uh under 25 or there always has to be someone over 25 in the car what if there was a guy guy on craigslist is that a hustle side hustle to have a an ad on craigslist like i'll sit in your car with you while you drive around with your n be pretty good and then so you had that for 15 years and then you yeah just took a test to get rid of that, and now you have unlimited driving. Now I can drive the exact same way I was before, but now I can rent a car. Ah, nice. Not that I can afford to rent a car right now, because they're so expensive.
Starting point is 00:45:14 Are they really? Yeah. And also, oh yeah, you have to bring your own car. Right? What car did you bring? Yes, you bring a car to a driver's test, Graham. We did this last week. But what kind of car do you have? Because if you a car to a driver's test graham we did this last week but what kind of car do you have because you couldn't rent a car whose car uh i used an evo
Starting point is 00:45:30 oh shit okay there you go evo uh saves the day once again and when he asked me to turn on the brights the high beams i was like i don't know how i've never had to use it in an Evo. Yeah. Yeah. Driving around in the fog. Yeah. But now. He was nice. He's like lower. Yeah. Almost there.
Starting point is 00:45:50 And I was like, click. Yep. Okay. Well, that's a lot like renting a car is you never know where. Yeah. Every car has like different little like, oh, I did the windshield wipers by accident that is always the case though if you're searching for anything in a car windshield
Starting point is 00:46:09 wipers are going to go off and the trunk's going to open yeah that's right yeah and also like finding a like the gas door a little gas door yeah a little gas lever and then you go to fill up the tank and you're like, oh, the gas is on the opposite side.
Starting point is 00:46:29 Gotta follow that arrow, rookie. Yeah, there's an arrow on your dashboard. But then you, you know, you move the car around and then, oh, I did it wrong again. And then you look down and you're wearing a tweed coat and you're Mr. Bean. You're Mr. Bean. Holy shit. That's how you find out yeah your doctor comes in and tells you have you ever been on a diving board for 45 minutes you've been diagnosed with bean have you been locked out of your hotel room naked and there's a you try to get downstairs
Starting point is 00:47:04 and there's an old lady going so slow. Yeah. You might be a bean, but there's hope. There's lots of new treatments. So Dave, what's going on with you? Okay. For real. What's going on with me?
Starting point is 00:47:18 I caught up on a couple of movies. Nice. I watched the latest Paul Thomas Anderson movie. As long as you don't count the ones that came out after 2017. But on New Year's Eve, I was like, okay, it's eight o'clock. I could really dig into Phantom Th thread right now yes did you yeah have you ever seen it yeah i liked it no i thought it was weird i liked it no likey or nocini tessie i have not seen it okay well it's uh go ahead and ruin it no i i couldn't possibly it's a real uh one of these movies
Starting point is 00:48:08 where you're like you know how you you have your phone all the time now yeah and if a movie's boring for 30 seconds you look at your phone and miss 10 minutes of it uh this is a movie where it's all boring but you're like i guess that's the point but it looks really good so i should look at it yeah it is it's very good looking movie and it was uh daniel day lewis's last film he's retired now i didn't know that yeah he's gonna be just he's cobbling now he's only gonna do tv now yeah he's gonna be on general hospital gonna act the whole fucking back of the show I just wanna act every day every
Starting point is 00:48:49 every time he goes to set they have to put like everyone has to pretend they're really in a hospital oh method actors keep it up sir you've been diagnosed with bean oh no oh bean oh no
Starting point is 00:49:06 oh no I'm going to tell my wife Mr. Bean does go to the dentist at one point and uh he jabs the dentist with Novocaine in the leg it's cause he's eating all those
Starting point is 00:49:24 really loud hard candies yes yeah yeah he loves a hard candy loves cheating on a test he's religious there's a whole thing where he's in a church yeah i think that's uh boy is that in episode one in the pilot probably i i wonder if they i was thinking about mr bean this morning because i i'm wearing contact lenses and i was like i wonder if mr b never thought but there was a decision around should i wear glasses that would be great if that was like if you were applying for a job as a writer and your spec strip script was just Mr. Bean. And then he goes, and then he does.
Starting point is 00:50:12 Well, sometimes he'll say, or Danny LaRue will say, that's my frock. So we watched that by we i mean myself yeah and a couple nights later i was like ah this is movies are too long oh yeah no kidding and i was like oh i've heard this movie's very long uh but i'm gonna try it anyway The new James Bond Ah yes How long
Starting point is 00:50:48 It's 2 hours and 43 minutes Jesus Christ I watched it and fell asleep periodically I Don't I don't know why I felt I needed to watch it Yeah Like I
Starting point is 00:51:03 I watch every new James Bond movie when it comes out and I'm not sure I like any of them. But you drive his official car and you have the official watch. Yeah and I wear, I drink the official vodka of him. And the Omega watch.
Starting point is 00:51:22 I wear all my Omegas and I drink Belvedere and i drive an aston martin and i love the uh shoes by reebok james bond reebok wearing a beautiful tuxedo with reebok pump sneakers just no not even just like the mall walkers. You're a James Bond completionist. Well, he does the Reebok. They have that little, what do you call it? The British flag, the Union Jack on them. They do?
Starting point is 00:51:56 Yeah, they're British. They did. Maybe he should wear British knights. Yeah, that makes sense. Or Kangals that has that little pocket in it so you can keep a kangaroo kangals are the hats oh he should wear a kangal he should definitely wear a kangal hat he's retired he can do what he wants now well that's true he can finally bust out his kangal hat the new james bond they should get uh joe pantoliano to be the new James Bond in a Kangol hat. Pantoliani?
Starting point is 00:52:30 Joey Pants. Do you find the last, the Daniel Craig ones are not fun? I find them not fun. Yeah, they're very moody and broody. Yeah. And bad attitude-y. Yeah, right. and broody yeah and bad attitudey and they're right but i think i my problem with the james bond movies is that they're so fun uh like the first scene is always so much fun and then there's
Starting point is 00:52:54 like a super cool the credits opening billy eilish there's billy eilish uh and there's a song about the title of the movie there's no time to die some other guy has time to die but not this guy he's james bond he's a total spy yeah i've only seen though the first one was casino royale with him oh it's so good it was fun but then it got like i don't know the second one was so moody that i was like like try don't try to out moody batman the second one's where he gets hit in the in the balls a bunch i think that's right maybe he gets hit in the balls in all of them i know a coyote bites his balls in one of them just every chase how does he get in the nuts in this one and he looks down he's wearing a tweed sport coat oh no
Starting point is 00:53:54 bean mr bean johnny english yeah i bet that's good oh yeah I bet it's good yeah but yeah I think my problem is that the first the first like 10 minutes of every James Bond movie is so good and then the rest of the movie is like just like I just like the chases I don't care
Starting point is 00:54:20 you just want the parkour yeah I don't care when you find YouTube videos I should just watch District 13 yeah You just want the parkour. Yeah, I don't care when you find... You should watch parkour on YouTube videos. I should just watch District 13. Yeah. I don't care that it's like when he finds out, oh, this person double-crossed me.
Starting point is 00:54:34 Who cares? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not a real person anyway. Why do you trust them? They're a movie character. Yeah. And like, I don't follow the... There's no through line right except that it's unfortunately there is it's too complicated i don't understand weren't the old ones they were kind of standalone yeah that's what i want i want it to be like a law and order episode where we don't have to deal
Starting point is 00:55:00 with what happened last week yeah it used to be capers and now it's like psychological thrillers yeah and it's like uh in this one he's got to go visit the grave of eva green's character from casino royale because he's like he's like sad James Bond yeah but he's got to go visit her grave because his girlfriend is like hey uh I want us to be together so he goes say goodbye to a grave yeah but then he hits his balls
Starting point is 00:55:36 in the gravestone he's like gone the gravestone doinks him there's not enough room in our relationship for your dead love. So tell her she's out. Yeah. Well, can I do it in person?
Starting point is 00:55:52 I guess. Yeah. So was the new one was, was it justified to be almost three hours long? You know what? It was, I think I liked it the best of any of them since Casino Royale. Really? I fell asleep.
Starting point is 00:56:12 But did you have a good sleep? Yeah. I was watching it in bed also. Did you have a I had 48 hours to watch it. I rented it and it said you have 48 hours to watch this and i was like they should give you 48 hours plus two hours and 43 minutes yeah yeah absolutely like it's not
Starting point is 00:56:32 fair that that to see the you know an 85 minute mr bean movie i have it for the same amount of time as this eight hour james bond movie you're a better person than me i just uh streamed it illegally oh sure yeah you still have it probably well it's streaming everyone everyone has it dave yeah i guess so i don't if you go to the website yeah you do if you go to the website no dave had it and then they took it away from it's like an nft everyone has it but no one does so yes who does it belong to exactly yeah exactly richard karn the richest man in the world karn richard karn what if we found out that richard karn was actually a billionaire and he was just slumming it i want to see someone do
Starting point is 00:57:25 one of those james bond intros with like uh al borland singing well no he's like doing all the like walking through and he like turns and shoots but it's a drill in his hand and then it's an ad for haynes yeah i don't think so mr bond oh maybe he could be the bad guy the dead when don't wear plaid or whatever something something with plaid plaid eye plaid finger plaid finger i don't think so tim wait. Wait, that's Moon River. Anyway, check out Cinema. It's what's going down. Damn right.
Starting point is 00:58:12 Yeah, Cinema's it. Did you see anything else? Or was that the full list of... That's the full list. Two movies. More movies than I've seen in months. With having two children, there's no movie time, is there? Abby and I switch off who does bedtime. Okay.
Starting point is 00:58:30 So every other night I should have movie time, but then sometimes I'll just watch hockey. Aren't your kids constantly chanting, licorice pizza, licorice pizza? And I'm like, no, I'm two Paulomas anderson's behind i have to watch they're all canon one leads up to the other but they're like well we've already seen inherent vice uh yeah i like that movie the inherent vice that's pretty. That was pretty good. Oh, yeah. Did you like Licorice Pizza? I didn't see it. Who are you looking at? I'm looking at you, Dave. I didn't see Licorice Pizza.
Starting point is 00:59:10 Oh, you saw Paul Thomas Anderson. That's what I thought you said, Wes Anderson. No. What did you say? Paul Thomas Anderson? Maybe. Fun fact, Wes Anderson is his dad. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:21 Oh, that's interesting. It seems like there's a lot of Andersons in the world, but there just three yeah all thomas wes and mister from the matrix yes yes which also just came out have you did you see that have you streamed that no have you seen the how many matrices have you seen i guess all of them except that one but i feel like i'd have to watch them again to understand any sort of through line boy i think i'd have to watch the first one again to understand the first one yeah yeah i don't even get the memes about the pills i forget which is and they both look like dristan capsules yeah it's like oh boy okay one of these won't make me drowsy one of these is gonna knock my
Starting point is 01:00:06 ass out is that what the whole thing's about it's like oh if you accept take this pill and it will make you drowsy and you'll go back to neverland yeah you'll go back to the goo i remember they're suspended in goo oh yes yeah and the other one you can you can operate heavy machinery which is the spaceship the ever can ever Ebenezer Scrooge the ever can ever with Tank
Starting point is 01:00:36 and Tristan what are the names of the guys who run Tristan Tristan and Tank I only saw I saw the second one I saw the first and the second one both in the theater of the guys who run. Dristan, please. Dristan and Ting. I saw the second one. I saw the first and the second one, both in the theater. And then I peaced out because I
Starting point is 01:00:53 didn't care. Which one has the blonde dread twins? The second one. Yeah. And you know what? The stuff on the highway fight is pretty good i don't i only think i saw the first one and then i was like this is good movie i don't want to see any more of it but it was so wise thank you finally not a completionist no actually quite
Starting point is 01:01:22 the opposite i'll watch one thing no one to walk away yeah sometimes I'll watch one thing. You know when to walk away? Yeah, sometimes I'll watch one episode of a series and be like, that was good for me. What a good taste. Anyway, so no, I did not see Licorice Pizza. I saw the Phantom Thread. Oh, you saw Phantom Thread. That's right. Right, right, right.
Starting point is 01:01:40 Right, right, right. Although maybe I need to go back and see the Master to really understand Phantom Thread. What the hell's going on? What's up with you? It's funny that you would bring up James Bond because the last week I was supposed to go visit my family in Calgary, Alberta, but decided to not go because of this. I don't know if you guys have heard about this Omicron, but it's blown up. Omicron. Omicron.
Starting point is 01:02:10 So you're doing Omicron? My name is Dennis, but it's Omicron. So, yeah, there was, I didn't go, and I was sad to not go. But one of the things I did with my family is we, sometimes we watch a movie all together and just text back and forth through whatsapp making fun of the movie and this we've done with dirty dancing we did it with uh i can't remember what the other one we did with but this time we did it with the world is not enough oh james bond bond and earlier Oh, James Bond! James Bond! An earlier Pierce Brosnan Bond. Is that the one? Is Halle Berry in that? No, that's the one before.
Starting point is 01:02:50 Is Madonna in it? No. Boy. Robert Carlyle is the bad guy. Is this like the second or third Pierce Brosnan? I'm not sure where it falls in the lineup. Is there skiing? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:11 Yeah, there's a skiing. Yes, there's absolutely skiing. Yeah. Is the theme song by, okay, I'm going to guess. Okay. Chris Cornell? No. Nelly.
Starting point is 01:03:22 Nelly. No. Yeah, is it Nelly? So it's a 90s one so uh boy uh counting crows counting crows that's it round here they just that was the they had to change the title to round here round here james bond edition mud honey james bond came from nashville with a suitcase in his hand. He said, I'd like to meet a boy who looks like James Bond. And he walks around the, you know. Wait, did James Bond in this story walk into a place and ask for James Bond?
Starting point is 01:03:54 Uh-huh. Okay. Like he's walking on a wire in the British intelligence. He parks his Aston Martin Outside my house And takes his tuxedo off Said he's close to understanding James Bond
Starting point is 01:04:12 There you go, well done Well he knows he's more than just a little You gotta let me get there Misunderstood, it's gonna get loud He has trouble acting normal When he's nervous There we go Well done, well done Was it garbage? He has trouble acting normal when he's nervous. There I go.
Starting point is 01:04:28 Well done. Well done. Was it garbage? Yes, it was garbage. Yeah, it was garbage. And Robert Carlyle from the full Monty and a train spotting is the,
Starting point is 01:04:40 he's the bad guy. Yeah. And somehow he's got, he had a bullet go into his head and it's like traveling through his brain and it's making him immune to pain so they're like eventually the bullet will kill him but in the meantime he's like it's traveling slowly
Starting point is 01:04:54 yeah like eventually it'll kill him yeah it was weird they showed like a 3D you know how in movies they'll have like a yeah kind of like Crank yeah it was like a prototype of Crank enough said I'm not a completionist either leave it at that how movies still have like a yeah kind of like crank yeah cool it was like a prototype of crank enough said i'm not a completionist either leave it at that um yeah i've seen crank high voltage the sequel it's rough that that crank series whoo it didn't it didn't age well the cranks
Starting point is 01:05:19 christmas with the cranks is also in that list the trilogy the uh so yeah james bond at one point he skis and john cleese is like the guy who's going to inherit q's oh this is where they did the crossover yeah so then q says something he says something to james bond and then he disappears into the floor, like some elevator takes him down, and then I guess he's dead. I guess he's out of the picture. We never see Desmond Llewellyn again? No, we see John Cleese at the end. Like, he's dead. By the way, he's dead.
Starting point is 01:06:00 Yeah, the elevator malfunctioned, I guess. And then John Cleese is is like i will never play at colleges again they're too sensitive the end um there's a scene the skiing scene is great because there was a you know he's always got a new gadget or whatever so one of the gadgets was this thing that just inflates around you a giant ball you know like that where people run in the field and bounce into each other with uh zoo yeah yeah it was yeah a zoo zoo ball a you a you zoo ball yeah sure yes a boba tea but he obviously he goes skiing and as soon as he goes skiing you know that it's a foregone conclusion that he's going to end up in an avalanche of some sort it was like i could
Starting point is 01:06:56 not tell what you meant what's the foregone conclusion i thought you were gonna say he's gonna end up fucking a ski bunny i'm going to the chalet so anyways he uses zorbing yeah he uses the zorb to save the day oh yeah i think that's an actual like a uh an avalanche survival technique is to have a zororb? Aren't there inflatable backpacks that people have for... I don't know. Maybe this is one of those things where James Bond predicts. That's what the St. Bernard brings, is a Zorb. Brings you a big Zorb.
Starting point is 01:07:37 Put the Zorb on. Yeah, so I watched The World is Not Enough with the family, and then also who's the who's the uh the bond woman in that uh bond girl is that what we say yeah bond girl i don't know her from anything else was it sophie marceau yeah i think it was sophie marceau that makes sense what else has she done uh french movies yeah um yeah and is in the new bond movies who's the boss the boss is ray fines oh he's the he's the um what is it m is M the boss M but there's I was
Starting point is 01:08:26 like as it was as I was watching and I was like is there crossover like when they get a new bond do they get a new Q and that Q was there the whole time the first Q was there for hundreds of the movies yes yeah and then like the first couple Daniel Craig
Starting point is 01:08:44 movies didn't have a Q no he would just go to the sharper image and get gadgets you would order them get the hammock or slammer catalog yeah and he would have like a airplane that was a lighter and that kind of shit but also like a cool mailbox, just like some quaint home folksy stuff. And then like Judy Dench was M. Yes. And I wasn't sure if she continued on. She was in Daniel Craig and Pierce Brosnan ones. Yeah, that's what I thought.
Starting point is 01:09:20 So she connects it. It's all part of the same universe. I don't know this world. This is Pierce Brosnan was was he was the last before Daniel Craig right or is there something I'm missing I just know people like the GoldenEye game yes yeah the GoldenEye game was fun yeah GoldenEye game
Starting point is 01:09:36 was fantastic reboot that you know gotta make a new GoldenEye game come to your place and reboot the GoldenEye game for you on an NFT yeah sure have Ralph Fiennes come over new golden eye game come to your place and reboot the golden eye game for you yeah yeah sure okay have rave fines come over and reboot my n64 no you have to your tv has to be on channel four okay sorry thanks rave thanks rave uh this isn't an invitation to stick around but you have four controllers and only no one else here.
Starting point is 01:10:07 I know, but I want to do the like story mode. Well, do you guys want to move on to overheards? Okay. I'm Lisa Hanawalt. And I'm Emily Heller. Nine years ago, we started a podcast to try and learn something new every episode. Things have gone a little off the rails since then. Tune in to hear about
Starting point is 01:10:28 low-stakes neighborhood drama, gardening, the sordid, nasty underbelly of the horse girl lifestyle, hot sauce, addiction to TV, and sweaty takes on celebrity culture. And the weirdest, grossest stuff you can find on Wikipedia.org. We'll read all of it, no matter
Starting point is 01:10:44 how gross. There's something for everyone all of it, no matter how gross. There's something for everyone on our podcast, Baby Geniuses. Hosted by us, two horny adult idiots. Hang out with us as we try and fail to retain any knowledge at all. Every other week on Maximum Fun. You're in a theater. The lights go down. You're about to get swept up by the characters and all their little details and interpersonal dramas.
Starting point is 01:11:08 You look at them and think, that person is so obviously in love with their best friend. Wait, am I in love with my best friend? That character's mom is so overbearing. Why doesn't she just stand up to her? Oh, God, do I need to stand up to my own mother? If you've ever recognized yourself in a movie, then join me, Jordan Cruciola, for the podcast Feeling Seen. We've talked to author Susan Orlean on realizing her own marriage was falling apart after watching adaptation, an adaptation of her own work, and comedian Hari Kontabolu on why Harold and Kumar was a depressingly important movie for Southeast Asians.
Starting point is 01:11:39 So join me every Thursday for the Feeling Seen podcast here on Maximum Fun. Overheard. Overheards. If the world is not enough for you, bring some Overheards. Make it worthwhile. We always like to start with the guest. Taz, would you please lead us into the overheard verse? Yes. My overheard
Starting point is 01:12:09 is sort of an ongoing overheard, and I'm surprised it hasn't come up. It's in my neighborhood, and it's a dog. Okay. It's a local dog. Are you surprised it hasn't come up because we live in your neighborhood? No, because i would have
Starting point is 01:12:25 heard it oh oh the dog is named bernie he lives in my building and i know he's out and about because he literally just goes he has like a almost hooting owl sort of sound and i know he's he wants to know more he's interested because i've seen him out there and like know he wants to know more. He's interested because I've seen him out there and when he wants to go somewhere, he's like, whoo! It is very clear hoot. It's not a howl. It's a whoo. And it sounds like a human when he does it.
Starting point is 01:12:56 I know it's Bernie. Bernie's out and about. Hi, Bernie. Hi, Bernie. We saw a video of a deaf dog that when he barks, he doesn't make any noise because he doesn't know he's supposed to make noise oh yeah he just goes wow adorable that's good i hope to meet bernie someday i'd like to know maybe a dog yeah he's like a hound okay all right okay that makes sense yeah like a blowing on a beer bottle yeah those are
Starting point is 01:13:31 fun dave do you all right let's do it yes kind of yeah do i need to fill it up with water to get a little higher yeah but you have a bunch of different ones yeah sure and maybe a little some you know mallets and make a little uh carol of the bells or whatever sugar dance with the sugar plum prairies do you remember seeing people that could play the glasses like on a town i remember yeah yes i mean i guess do that yeah on youtube yeah that's true probably on youtube i remember that from uh from like breakfast with santa did anyone go do that at like the department stores i'm 80 years old practice with santa you know you're you're on christmas morning your mom would wake up and there'd be santa in bed with her and you'd be like oh get over here kid yeah no it was like you go to eaton's or sears and they had like a show
Starting point is 01:14:33 room i don't know it was it was like you'd have food and then there would be like a show and it would be like someone would play the thing so a guy would i remember a guy playing the saw oh yeah the saw rules and this and then santa was there and it was a whole thing but i was like four this is like in the early 80s probably the tail end of like the weird breakfast of santa's they had yeah i went to go see the french band air in uh you know like like 2005. In a mall? No. With Santa Claus? No.
Starting point is 01:15:12 This is not related to that mall portion of the story. At Eaton's? But the opening act was a duo who played like theremin oh yeah and one of them played the theremin the other played the singing saw this is music for ghosts everybody I had two tickets and I could not get anyone to go with me
Starting point is 01:15:40 because they heard who the opening acts were i don't know why i think that was the only one i knew who liked air because you were not a sexy boy that's true uh speaking of which sexy boy do you have an overheard well thank you for proving him wrong uh mine is an overheard This was on I was on 8th Avenue 8th and Cambie Near the Near the Wendy's Okay yes But I was not going to the Wendy's
Starting point is 01:16:15 No no no It was just walking past And there was You going to the Winners? There was a woman An old lady A very sweet looking old lady Loading stuff from Winners? There was a woman, an old lady, a very sweet looking old lady, loading stuff from winners into the back of her car. And you know how we don't really know what to do with snow in this city?
Starting point is 01:16:35 Yeah. And they always tell drivers like, clear the snow off the roof of your car because it'll fall off and the car you will uh take the brunt of it uh well this uh this lady was loading it her stuff into the back of her car so just a nice sweet old lady and uh this car come this suv goes like pulls up behind her and like kind of stopped abruptly and all the snow on the roof of the car just crunches like as they stop the snow goes forward and they like cover their own windshield with this and it's super icy and loud and this woman is just who i thought was this sweet old woman just goes what the? I'll fucking kill you. Anyway.
Starting point is 01:17:30 And driving the SUV was Mr. Bean. He's forcing that three-wheeled car off the road. Oh yes, was this lady putting Winner's things into a three-wheeled car yeah yeah yeah have you ever seen somebody on one of those three three-wheel motorcycles are there two wheels in the front yeah either there's two wheels in the front or
Starting point is 01:17:57 oh the dmx special is that dmx dmx had like an atv yeah he had anything this is like a rough rider thing well i don't know what that is part of rough riders never mind anyways you see them on the streets and they're pretty silly pretty silly looking if you're gonna get a motorcycle go two wheels don't go three you know two cool three not at all yeah but what if i tip over that's true uh that's the risk you're gonna have to take to be cool um yeah well the one i'm looking at well i used to work at a tv show that was a like a car reviewing show where they would do like thumbs up and thumbs down to new cars and there was one we did one about the piaggio mp3 which was named after the music file
Starting point is 01:18:49 yeah yeah yeah piaggio myspace uh and it was it had two wheels in the front and you could it would kind of like slide their change position as you turned cool very Yeah, very cool. Anyway, go ahead. Oh, my overheard very much is a stretch at best. Because it was in a movie that I watched last night called Hand That Rocks the Cradle. Oh, with Rebecca DeMornay? Yes. Yeah. And, oh, Lloyd Braun?
Starting point is 01:19:21 Yes, Lloyd Braun. Yes. Excellent. Yes. And Julianne Moore in a supporting role. Oh. Yeah. She plays the lead's best friend.
Starting point is 01:19:33 Oh, who's the mother of the couple? A dark-haired lady? Yeah, a dark-haired lady. So if you don't know what the plot of it is, is it's about a woman who becomes obsessed with a woman that's married. And so she becomes obsessed with the couple and she becomes obsessed with their kid. And so and then their baby. So she's just obsessed. She's their nanny. She's the yeah.
Starting point is 01:20:00 She becomes the person that she's obsessed with. Nanny. And they are not, you know, spoiler ahead. becomes the person that she's obsessed with nanny and they not you know spoiler ahead if you haven't seen if you've managed to get this far without seeing and then she cooks the rabbit no yes same same feel
Starting point is 01:20:16 vibe and then she sleeps with the enemy yes yes yeah and then she's like a single white female yes she is that's very close I remember uh yeah and then she's like a single white female at a certain point yes she is that's very close so um i remember uh they had like a caretaker yes ernie hudson and like she she uh tried to pin some bad stuff on him by putting the kid's underwear in his pocket. And I also remember the commercial He goes to blow his nose and it's just
Starting point is 01:20:49 I remember the tagline was the hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world. Whoa. Yeah. Mommy. Mom's rule. Canadian girls kick ass so she's obsessed with this baby she wants to keep this baby and there's a scene where they
Starting point is 01:21:13 find out who she is and uh what she's been up to and they say you must leave immediately and she goes okay i just have to get my baby i mean my things and then does she try to steal the baby yes steal the baby and you know who helps them out ernie hudson ernie hudson you gotta love him yeah so that's he's the real ghostbuster yeah he loves that town it's he it's also the first thing i've ever seen him in where he doesn't have a mustache so he's got range and he has a mustache as a like he's like uh janitor or like landscaper groundskeeper guy he's making where fence does he wear a uh jumpsuit he does. Just like in Ghostbusters? Yeah. Is he jumpsuit only?
Starting point is 01:22:08 I don't know. He was in Oz. I remember that. He was on the TV show Oz. Oh, sure. Prison jumpsuit? Prison jumpsuit, yeah. I think he was the warden or something, wasn't he? He was in a prison. Yes. Yeah, yeah. Well, a warden, a lot of times the warden will wear a jumpsuit
Starting point is 01:22:24 to kind of, you know, the warden will wear a jumpsuit to kind of you know make everyone feel like we're equal yeah and it's he becomes like that's a guy i want to have a beer with is that guy yeah like rolls up his sleeves um now we also have overheard sent into us from people all over the map you want to send one in to us, you can send it in to spy at MaximumFun.org. This first one comes from Liam in Newcastle, England. Oh, home of Mr. Bean. Home of Mr. Bean. I was in a Sainsbury's.
Starting point is 01:22:55 That's how you know this is authentic. I was in a Sainsbury's with my fiancé in the run-up to Christmas when I overheard an older gentleman exasperatedly say to his wife, we're going to need a door flap for the squirrel as well as a kill
Starting point is 01:23:12 cage. Wow. Yeah, I don't know what that means. Why would they have a door for the squirrel? Like a dog door so it can come in and then they kill it? At our old house, we had a roof that was infested with squirrels and they made a, the, the, what's it called? The exterminator was like, we just put a, like a flap on the outside where the squirrel can get out but can't get back in.
Starting point is 01:23:40 We're like, we figured out the hole that the squirrel was getting in. Oh, maybe that's what this is. we're like we figured out the hole that the squirrel was getting in oh maybe that's what this is seal it up but why are they selling that at sainsbury's next to like the toffee fay next to the double decker chocolate bars it's not toffee fay i don't know i always thought it was toffee fay i bought some the other day. Did you? You had some Toffifee? How was it? Toffifee? It's definitely a distant third to Ferrero Rocher's and Turtles. Yes.
Starting point is 01:24:10 Yeah. It's a consolation prize getting a Toffifee. Toffifee. No way to know. It's no Toblerone. Yes, no Toblerone. I got Omicron from a Toblerone. I'm a French rapper and I'm here to say.
Starting point is 01:24:28 It's something, something Lumiere. Okay, go ahead. Here we go. This one comes from Julie from Woodbridge, Virginia. I overheard my two sons having this conversation. My nine-year-old asked the classic question, would you rather kill someone and get $5 or save someone and get $5? Classic.
Starting point is 01:24:56 Yeah, the classic conundrum. You give it the same value? Yeah, $5 for killing a person or five for saving the person and my five-year-old immediately answered get five dollars yeah yeah so that was the headline you choose what i do yeah yeah i want to get five dollars so yeah it's up to you you push this button and someone in the world will get saved or killed but you get five dollars push um yeah it's the uh fuck marry kill of the the kids set who would you rather would you kill or save is a better would you would you rather like would you rather kill someone and get a million dollars or save someone's life
Starting point is 01:25:41 and get five dollars well we all know the answer to that question uh i need more than five dollars to retire so would you rather kill someone and get a million dollars and your name in the paper oh that's pretty good that's the person that killed someone yeah but like everyone's cool with it. Or save someone and get one of those decorative bears from around the city. Yes. I would do that one. I don't know where I would put it, but
Starting point is 01:26:15 I'd get rid of my couch and just put it in the main area. You'd put it inside. You wouldn't put it outside. I don't have anywhere to put it outside. You'd put it in your apartment lawn. Nah, that's true. I think't put it outside. I don't have anywhere to put it outside. You put it in your apartment lawn. Nah, that's true. I think people would love it. You know what? I'm going to do it. I'm going to steal one of the ones
Starting point is 01:26:32 from the library, bring it home, put it on my apartment lawn, and leave a trail of evidence so they find me. Bare chunks the whole way. This last one comes from Kat S. from Ann Arbor, Michigan I was at a restaurant getting takeout when I overheard a woman
Starting point is 01:26:50 talking from one of the booths she was looking over the menu and exclaimed the mac and cheese has 8 cheeses I don't think I even know 8 cheeses there's Munster American uh Parmesan then ran out of cheeses to name.
Starting point is 01:27:08 Not even cheddar. Couldn't land the cheddar. You say American, you don't say Swiss? We could just go through country. It's funny they start with Munster, too. That's a scary one. Well, they were watching an episode of The Addams Family. Oh, I see. Do you ever watch The Munsters or Adam's Family, Garon?
Starting point is 01:27:27 The Munsters was the crack of the Adam's Family. Yeah, that's true. The GoBots. That's true. I love the Munsters. Yeah, me too. Eddie Munster, Grandpa. I haven't watched either of them.
Starting point is 01:27:39 My first introduction to the Adam's family was through Raul Julia. Yes. Rest in peace. Yeah, that's right. Angelica Houston. Uh-huh. Young Christina Ricci. Right before he did Street Fighter, his last and final movie, M. Bison, right?
Starting point is 01:27:58 Oh, really? Raul Julia as M. Bison. His swan song. That was his last movie. Huh. Well, if you're going to go out on a movie, make it Street Fighter. Or Mortal Kombat. These are two movies. Or Myrtle Kombat.
Starting point is 01:28:12 Myrtle's Kombat. Or Myrtle Kombat. Myrtle Kombat. You're fighting over Roche or Boss of Turtles. The last bonbon. In addition to overheards
Starting point is 01:28:26 that are written, and we also accept your phone calls if you want to call us. The phone number is 1-844-779-7631. That's one. Ugh. SpyPod 1, like these people have. Hey, Dave and Graham, it's Corey from West Kelowna with an overheard. My wife and I were
Starting point is 01:28:44 waiting in line to pay for our stuff at the department store, and there's this little girl that was at one of the checkouts. She's probably five years old, and she's just spinning around, and she's singing along to the Christmas music that's playing. And then at one point, she just stops, and she kind of looks around, and then she says to her mom, Mommy, everybody's looking at me. And then this woman walks by. She just finished paying for her stuff, Mommy, everybody's looking at me. And then this woman walks by. She just finished paying for her stuff.
Starting point is 01:29:07 And as she's walking by, she leans down to the little girl. And she says, That's because you're so pretty. And so she keeps walking. And then the little girl says to her mom, Mommy, I think this woman wants to take me. Thanks, guys. Well, aren't you pretty? Yeah. Who, me?
Starting point is 01:29:35 Mom, help. Yeah, this is ladies with a hand that rocks the cradle. She's going to hand the rock the cradle. She's Ernie Hudsonutzing me or no i guess being ernie hudson is being the good guy anyway is our kids still really scared of kidnappers like i was when i was a kid yeah i don't know our kids never are away from us long enough oh yeah i guess we were free free range when we were kids like my kids school they like wait for the parents to show up before
Starting point is 01:30:09 they let the kids leave really when I was a kid you just like yeah peaced out I'm going I'm taking the bus or maybe I'm just gonna walk home and yeah use my bus for to buy chips oh yeah childhood can't be Yeah. That used my buzz for it to bite chips. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 01:30:27 Childhood. Can't beat it. Yeah. Well, and if you can't beat it, join it. That's right. And next, a phone call.
Starting point is 01:30:33 Hey, Dave and Graham. Uh, I was debating calling this in because it's an overdreamt, but then this week's episode was very dreams heavy. So I figured I'd share that. Uh, a couple of weeks ago,
Starting point is 01:30:45 I had a dream that I'd become the third host of Stop Podcasting Yourself. And I was so excited and we're having such a good time. And then at the end of my first episode, you revealed to me that one of the rules of being a host of Stop Podcasting Yourself is all the hosts have to sleep in a bed together. And I was out after that so uh sweet dreams i guess you didn't want it bad enough yeah yeah we every year dave and i rent a hotel room in montreal we stay in bed for many days we try to solve the vietnam war and if you want to be with us you got got to do that, and you also have to
Starting point is 01:31:26 wear a pair of jeans no matter what for a whole week. Yeah. Like the Hells Angels. Oh, sure. Yeah, that's what it is. Well, thanks for doing the show with us. I wish we had told you that before. Yeah, that's true. Now we have to
Starting point is 01:31:41 throw that episode out. Yeah, and it's like uh we thought you were cool but anyways it's fine anyway yeah fine well there's plenty other co-hosts out there who want to sleep in the same bed with us and by the way we're not fucking yeah no we're not kelly ripa did it in her early days we used to have her wake up in regis's bed every morning she'd wake up and scream and she'd be like oh wait you're not a decapitated horse my bad all right here's your final phone call hi dave graham and potential guests uh this is matt from tex Texas calling in with an overseen.
Starting point is 01:32:27 I was just shopping at the grocery store, and they were handing out free samples of coffee, which one dad holding his baby thought it would be a good idea to get. He very soon spilled this hot coffee all over his baby, which is admittedly not funny. But to alleviate the burn, his wife quickly reached for their jug of creamer from the basket. So, I thought
Starting point is 01:32:50 that was ironic and went together. Well, off I go. This poor baby getting a... I spilled hot coffee on the baby. Oh, get creamer. We were supposed to pick something up anyways. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That, there was somebody at the train station i don't know what the company
Starting point is 01:33:07 was but they were giving away chocolate bars just before december and you could you could take as many as you wanted they these kids didn't care and they were all from the like aero coffee crisp area of okay snacks anyways that's the last time I saw something cool being given away at the train station. Sure. It's no coffee. It's no baby scalded coffee. Yeah. Well, a lot of it, you get your, you start off with your baby skin, and then you're
Starting point is 01:33:35 you slough it, and then the skin fairy comes and picks it up. That would be cool if snakes had like a skin fairy. Yeah, they do. Yeah. In snake lore. We don't know
Starting point is 01:33:47 what they have. Yeah. That's true. Put it under your rock pillow and they bring you a good night snake.
Starting point is 01:33:58 Well, that brings us to the end of this year podcast. Taz, thank you so much for being our guest. Thanks for having me in my
Starting point is 01:34:05 own home yeah no fuss no muss you got to eat some people know that i'm not in the in your collective bed right now oh yeah that's true the guests don't sleep in our bed yeah it's only the host oh it's the host sorry yeah so what i was we're gonna have um rick the temp is gonna be sleeping in the bed with us this week and yeah we're auditioning him to be the new host if if he doesn't make it then tanner zip chan tanner zip chan somebody we're gonna look at absolutely uh rick campanelli makes it oh yeah yeah you know uh they're all gonna be there all the greats was there a guy called Bradford maybe oh all the much music hosts yeah Erica M definitely
Starting point is 01:34:50 I'm more a PJ guy myself oh fair enough yeah Taz if you what do you want to plug you've got the Sunday service every week in person, but maybe online for the next while.
Starting point is 01:35:08 Yeah. Right now we're doing a, we're doing online. You can go to our YouTube channel. We leave the shows up so you can watch them, but also you can watch it live. And that's eight o'clock, 8 PM Pacific standard time.
Starting point is 01:35:19 Every Sunday on our YouTube, where do people go? Where do they find this? Our YouTube channel channel do you just type in youtube sunday service and i think so i think yeah yeah but put improv in there and you you'll get out there just yeah just google it sunday service improv on instagram and then go to our link tree how about that there you go that's perfect you went to uh. You went to online when the pandemic started, and then you went back to live shows.
Starting point is 01:35:52 How long was that happening before we shut her down again? Two months? Three months? We did like three months of live shows. Nice. Nice. It was just enough to get a taste and go, oh, yeah. And then we're back, and I'm like, oh, yeah. We also did promise that we would keep doing online shows and we are so
Starting point is 01:36:07 hard to organize if it's not a Sunday that we never did. So we kind of sheepishly like, well, we're back just for the people who we promise. So it is nice to see the people from other cities and stuff that can't come to the live show. Yeah. From Olympia,
Starting point is 01:36:25 Washington, where Macklemore From Olympia, Washington, where Macklemore went to college, uh, to Washington DC, where Macklemore does a lot of his legislating. Yeah, that's right. Uh,
Starting point is 01:36:33 sponsor the, um, uh, what was another one of songs? Shit. Uh, I'm losing it. Uh,
Starting point is 01:36:40 we hold it. The ceiling can't hold us. That one. That, that's what I was trying to think of but I don't know what it's called the pirate ship one well thank you so much for being our guest Taz
Starting point is 01:36:50 this was a treat and Dave thank you for being on the podcast as well thank you all of you people out there listening we thoroughly enjoy having you listen and if you like it why not write an Apple review
Starting point is 01:37:06 or tell your friend that you like it or whatever you want to do and come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Audience supported.

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