Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 721 - Taz VanRassel
Episode Date: January 11, 2022Improviser Taz VanRassel returns to talk investing, Phantom Thread, and James Bond....
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Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself.
Woo!
Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 721 of Stop Podcasting Yourself.
My name's Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who we were just talking before the podcast
likes a meal replacement called Ensure where I'm more of a boost man, Mr. Dave Shumka.
Yeah, we were talking about getting boosted and it made me think of the Kanye West song
Through the Wire where he says he
has a boost for breakfast and ensure for dessert nice switching them up i like that um but then it
also um well whatever you know i yeah i haven't actually ever had any of these meal replacements
so that's showing my privilege i you know what i like to eat for a meal food food yeah i when i was in high school i drank one of them a day like uh
instant breakfast it was called carnation isn't breakfast yeah that's the one i used to drink it
every day the song no carnation instant breakfast you're gonna love it in an instant nice good that
was good boost and then boost they did a kind of a mashup
where Boost came in and did a verse.
Was doing a guest appearance.
And then they did
one of those special K bars
came in and spat a few bars.
Special K!
Our guest today, a returning guest
here to the podcast, a guy we always
very much enjoy having on.
He is part of the Sunday service that performs every Sunday, whether it's online, whether it's in person, whether sleet nor rain nor snow will stop these guys.
The Sunday service.
And also, he's part of a group that teaches improv.
A blind tiger.
It's Taz Van Rassel it's me hey it's you
thank you for being our guest thanks for having me i used to drink uh oxo like broth oh yeah oh
yeah oxo cubes yeah yeah i was thinking that was uh in some way had protein when i was like in my
early 20s like yeah i think it probably do me for lunch
yeah yeah one oxo cube and maybe a cigarette there you go this was when you were modeling
yeah um why did you know what are you protein averse do you not want to have like a hard-boiled
egg no i was poor and i didn't think of the egg thing. An egg is probably the same price. Yeah, it's true.
I don't know.
When I was young, I didn't think about eggs either
because I only knew how to prepare them one way.
Yeah, nog.
Exactly.
I knew how to make my own nog.
I saved money by making my own nog
because I was in my 20s.
And you know what?
I put it towards a mortgage and look at me now.
Yeah, I poured nog on my avocado toast and so now i'm destitute
should we uh get to know us yes
get to know us taz how are you doing my well. Yeah. You know, it's a funny time of the year.
What is that funny time?
This pandemic surge?
Everything snowed in and there's a pandemic.
Oh, yeah.
I've fully stayed inside.
I don't know how many days in a row, but it's going forever.
Wouldn't it be great if there was, instead of like a prolonged years-long pandemic
if we just got a month-long pandemic every january yeah that would be all right oh like the purge
but a month i guess a month of the purge everybody on the planet would be dead
wait except for the smart ones and the rich ones that's right did the purge happen worldwide or it was just an american phenomena i can't remember i think canon
it is american right i didn't watch the tv but maybe there's so many sequels too they probably
did a worldwide page australia it's the page it's the page the page and path
uh have you ever seen that movie, Taz?
Oh, yes.
Yeah, I've seen a bunch of them.
I've only seen the first one.
Are the other ones decent to watch?
No, it's just like once you start, you have to keep watching them.
Yeah, that's true.
Do you feel that way about everything?
Yeah, I'm a bit of a completionist.
Are you? So once once i start unless it's
really bad and i just lose interest but i'm a creationist no you're a creationist yeah yeah
yeah i want to know what uh like i saw the like first few uh fast the furious is and then i want
to know how dinosaurs came to came to be yeah same time. They both started at the same time.
And any bones you find are a conspiracy.
Vin Diesel's or otherwise.
How many of the Fast and the Furious have you seen?
I haven't completed the set.
All right.
There you go.
Is there anything that's really nagging you that you know you have
to complete but it feels like homework uh the the nightmare on elm street series
they they kind of drop off dramatically in quality after i like the second one and then
the third and fourth and fifth kind of yeah the second one is the one was the the very like homoerotic undertones
you were secretly put in and then the guy finally admitted like years later yeah that's exactly what
he was doing it's it's great it's a you know it's an early entry into the queer cinema verse
and along with the baba duke the baba dukeook also. Very big. How many Nightmare on Elm Street are there?
Ten?
Yeah, I was going to say there's at least like five or six, but there's probably more.
Are there more Friday the 13th?
There's about 11.
I watched all of those last year.
The Friday the 13th?
And it was really hard to find some of them.
Like Jason in Space was hard to find.
But I found it.
I've seen Jason in Space.
It's pretty excellent.
I remember seeing, boy, it was the early 2000s and I went to a movie and they showed a preview for Jason in Space.
Where the song in the preview was, let the bodies hit the floor.
Let the bodies hit the floor.
in the preview was let the bodies hit the floor let the bodies hit the which is like a completely antithetical to zero gravity where the bodies just will you know they'll go wherever they might hit
the ceiling at this rate let the bodies float about yeah the uh the person in front of me in
the movie theater when the trailer ended just turned to their friend and said
that looks good
let's go see that we haven't seen any of the other ones
let's start at 10
at one point in the Jason
in space he finds a machete
but it's like a futuristic machete that's all I
kind of remember
it's like shiny
I don't remember
well I remember in the video store when
it came out it's the video hit the store it said jason tan and then underneath it just said he's
in space that was the jason space all right all right we admit it fine fine um did you so you saw
the friday the 13th i did i've watched all the american pie films
is that does that count even though like director videos yeah yeah oh there's a new one i haven't
seen though that i saw on netflix so i'm one short it's like their grandkids yeah or like
there was one where it's just band camp or there's one that's like stifler's brother is the guy the
naked mile the naked mile exactly or is that a van wilder no i think you're right i think
it's american pie naked mile are they still horny yeah they're still okay absolutely
in van wilder they do they do a naked mile this is before the rise of taj oh yes the rise of taj
absolutely uh that's canon they're all in the
same universe people don't realize that there's one character that connects all of the horny movies
i forgot about that is it taj is taj taj is in all those movies um that's national wampoons too so
that's right yeah that's connected yeah connected in many ways. The, um,
uh,
there's,
are there a new generation of horny movies or we,
as a culture,
have we moved past?
I think there are,
but they're just like,
uh,
like more,
uh,
kind like,
like,
wasn't like,
uh,
bad boys.
What was that one?
Not bad boys.
That's a different movie.
You know, the one about the, the, the boys who? Not Bad Boys. That's a different movie. You know the one about the boys
who were trying to kiss, go to a kissing party?
Oh.
It was really cute. We had
the boy from Room.
The little Canadian boy.
Yeah. Was it called Good Boys?
Maybe.
Yeah, I think so.
And that was cute and fun, also like kind of like horny and
gross yeah yeah yeah okay so like just now there's more there's maybe more breadth of uh of exploration
on these yeah films and they like explore consent more yes yeah they used to you know like booksmart
was like that it was good smart yeah yeah yeah yeah and that one was horny girls which which we never had back in the day that's true yeah they weren't invented
when i was when i was young there were no horny girls for miles no
um was there was one that netflix wanted me to watch called kissing booth that seems very wholesome
yes kissing booth is although whenever they would have those in a tv show or a movie i was like this Netflix wanted me to watch called Kissing Booth. That seems very wholesome. Yes. Kissing Booth is,
although whenever they would have those in a TV show or a movie,
I was like,
this is a thing that a hundred percent doesn't exist in real life.
And is,
is,
you know,
pre COVID was just like,
you're going to get something.
You're going to get some sort of cold sore,
or you're going to be too close to the person.
You're going to get head lice.
You're going to fall in love. I saw Kissing Booth once at an adult party and it was like, sore or you're gonna be too close to the person you're gonna get head lice uh you're gonna fall
in love i saw a kissing booth once at an adult party and it was like uh at the people's prom i
don't know if you guys ever remember that it was like a valentine's thing that happened in east van
and it was like come on down dress up like prom and we have a kissing booth and even then i was
like i don't know that's who was in the kissing booth i don't know some horny
adults they wanted to do it you have to say at the door to get in we're horny adults if you have
you ever seen in real life mistletoe like a real mistletoe or like a like a kissing situation a missile something set up as like stand under here and
you have to kiss yeah vancouver the city set it up all over town yeah we're trying to make the
city more magical yeah have you not seen those no really yeah they really did off of like lamppost
it's very weird and every time i'm like no what i have no i i thought you were joking no it's uh
if you happen to be crossing paths with god knows who you buy you're by law
have to do it and then you have to take a photo and there's a hashtag yeah you have to post the
photo otherwise you're getting fined five thousand dollars wow yeah it's big it's a big vine yeah from the people who brought you the orcas yeah we had orcas and we also had bears i was the other and eagles oh yeah we had eagles too
that's right spirit bear eagle for people who don't know what this is it's like a bunch of
animal statues that are decked out with different designs or logos yeah like a company
really cookie cutter yes yeah yeah like you know uh a law firm or a bank will buy we've uh
commissioned one of these bears and it's going to be in our bank colors and we're giving back to the
community in some way through this yeah i don't see you
don't see them around very much anymore i know there's one at like a corner like a kiddie corner
to a safe way there's one if you're trying if you're coming to vancouver and you want to see
this bear this is one of the destinations you want to check out uh it's in front of a community center i want to say uh possibly a library do you know the one i'm talking about
taz i'm sure there's a digital map so you can see them all i know where a lot of them are the
roadie bear is near whole foods down uh down in canby there oh where's that roadie it's like
just in front of a weird business building on a side street. Just a weird side street, no less.
Yeah.
So it's like, oh, here's a roadie bear.
And there's an all silver bear above the I-place.
Oh, yeah.
Main street.
Mount Pleasant Optical.
And there's a bunch on Oak and like 24th.
Yeah, that's like Children's Hospital or Children's Make-A-Wish related.
And they bought all the other ones, like Batman
and Spider-Man or something.
Yes, yes.
There was one
that had past guest
Brent Butt. It was all decked out
like Brent Butt wearing a bear costume.
So they like...
Yeah, yeah. They like chiseled his face
into it and he had like a hoodie
on that looked like a bear that was in the ctv lobby which is now right a victoria secret so
did they keep the brent butt there and uh yeah they had to repaint it wearing a pink frilly
number wearing a teddy is that the victoria's secret that used to be the library
yeah and in between it was the virgin mega store oh right yeah yeah yeah uh apparently ctv is still
there it's up above uh but you have to get through the horniest part of downtown to get to them so
victoria's secret yeah it's the horniest part of downtown? Hmm. No, there's like a row of sex shops on Granville.
Yeah, that's true.
Yeah, there's some of that.
Man, still standing.
I love it.
Yeah.
How are they doing?
The horny sex shops?
Yeah.
Are they okay?
I think they're steady.
I think no matter what event, I bet you during like the depression, like porn films were
still getting made, you know, with Buster. Getting made during the depression like porn films were still getting made you know with getting made
during the depression well there's couples on a train coming right for the camera
they're fucking right at me
you think nothing will stop porn nothing will will stop porn. Porn will find a way. No, of course. What about solar flare?
Like a big magnetic pulse that takes out all the digital media?
Yeah, or maybe it kills boners, huh?
Oh, yeah.
It'd have to be pretty strong.
But there would be somebody still graffitiing stuff on the side of rocks and things like that
regardless of what their body is doing
they'd still like they would still
see it still yeah
it's it's
it's just a part of who we are as a
people you know and wherever
porn goes technology follows
do you think boy
never mind I have no follow-up questions.
Did you have a follow-up question?
No, I have like 10, but they're all gross.
Yeah, there's a...
Wasn't...
Oh, the arcade.
That's what just closed on Granville.
The arcade that was there forever and ever.
That was still there? That was like... Yeah uh you had to be 19 to go in yeah because there was i think in the back there was some of those uh like put a quarter in and watch like 10 minutes yeah like
kind of deal 10 minutes this guy's got his head his eyes glued to this disgusting thing for 10 minutes
for a quarter yeah but you see some guy walking in with a whole stack of quarters a whole roll
and then you don't see him for the rest of the night yeah well it's an arcade of course he's
got a roll of quarters but uh well i i thought maybe it was like they served alcohol oh no but
a lot of people bought drugs in there from what what I gather. It was a very easy place to go buy drugs.
It was right next to the Ross. It was our Times Square.
Yes, that's right.
And it just closed, like, just
closed a couple months ago.
And so, you know,
I played the Aerosmith
video game there.
What? Yeah.
You're the band Aerosmith, and you go
through zapping people with a guitar and a microphone
stand and whatnot.
Is it horny?
It is pretty horny, actually.
Aerosmith is horny as hell.
Yeah.
I watched the Aerosmith peep show there.
Surprisingly not horny.
Yeah.
It's very wholesome.
They're having a picnic.
Yeah.
It was gross.
No matter what they do, it's gross, even if it's not horny. very wholesome having a picnic yeah it was gross no matter what they do it's gross even if it's not horny that's true like i don't know it's just crazy that we live on the same
planet as steven tyler you know like it's it's a privilege i feel part of the planet do you think
he lives on uh the uh he's not in our hemisphere yeah oh you think he's in florida
yeah that's probably a good bet he's living on the edge nice nice real good
so taz what have you been up to tell us to spin us a yarn tell us a tale
oh just uh living away from society, on the edge a little bit.
No, not too much.
I started investing this year.
Here we go.
I had money in the bank that has just been sitting there,
and it's not a lot of money.
But I was like, oh, I should do something with this.
Yeah.
So I put it into a TFSA.
Nice.
Nice.
Nice.
And tell the listeners what the hell that is.
Because I totally know what it is.
But if you could tell the listeners, that would help me out a lot.
It's a tax-free savings account.
And so what does that do?
I don't know, really.
I put it in there and it it it invests into like
indexes or something oh and then uh you uh it doesn't get taxed until you take it out and then
it gets taxed no it's just like that yeah deferred tax paying mechanism i'm so tired of these billionaires like avoiding taxes by any means
necessary yeah uh are you talking about me yeah
that's what i did i put my thousands of dollars in there the uh yeah the only like the investing
i'm very curious about as i've said uh the past episodes is crypto crypto my crypto i'm the one nfts these i want to see some non-fungibles
nfts have now become like also like task master kind of stuff as well is that right
like what it's like you pay somebody to come do a task rabbit task rabbit yeah that one what you can pay them in crypto
i think i don't know this is all very third party but uh but someone was saying that the
uh you know the guy from uh al from from tool time richard karn yeah thank you
did not know where this was going. He was recently
put out, like it's become a
meme where he's like, I won't be investing
in NFTs.
And people have been passing that around. It's very funny.
But apparently he was thinking about it
and NFTs are now becoming more
for celebrities, more of a thing where you can go
like golfing or go fishing
with...
I don't really understand. And go fishing with al and it's an
i don't know where the digital gif comes into it uh i don't know from what i understand it's like
a trading card but it doesn't exist it's like somewhere on the internet. But you own. That's what I thought it was too.
But yeah, that's what it is.
Like you own this clip and nobody else has that clip except.
Oh no, other people may have it, but you're the only owner of it.
So the NBA does that.
Now you can buy their experience.
They'll come to your house and set up your hi-fi system.
I would love for Al Borland to come to my house
i don't think so tim that's what i want an nft of al borland saying i don't think so tim
doesn't matter the episode doing like a snap snap snap and a z formation yeah and hi-fi systems are
still a thing right yeah yeah it's the only fidelity i like
i remember we had like speaker cable speaker wires going running all over the house
and like hidden behind uh books on bookcases and like going between floors
just to get the hi-fi set up yeah cool that's right yeah i remember that too now you
just got a recessed little speaker in your ceiling yeah and then like you didn't you have
to put i was recently in your house dave i saw it oh yeah yeah yeah we've got some wirelesses
nice that came to my house when i was away i saw everything
mostly i sat there my partner was looking after
your adorable
dog monster and I just sat there
and tried not to terrify monster
who was hiding in the cloakroom
staring at me shaking I was like well I'm
gonna go
yeah it took him a few
days to loosen up
is he
loosened up now or is he still as he attends not to me
no to to the to taz's partner who was taking care of him yeah apparently it took a while for him to
go cuddle with her yeah it took only a day and then he was like you are in charge of me now
yeah my family's dead yeah Yeah. Time to move on.
They don't know.
So you've invested.
That's great. You've invested in TFSAs, NFTs.
And I found some old RRSPs back when I had a real job.
Nice.
Track down and talk to a weird banking system.
I love it.
Yeah.
And they are just fluctuating. I don't know if you guys know the market is crazy right now yeah it's like up 300
and then down 200 it's like what two steps forward two steps back yeah also you're not
supposed to look at them every single day well that's the fun of having them that's why you
have them and you can look at them
when you're in line somewhere
or at a red light.
Yeah, it's just something fun.
It's like a 20-year investment.
Yeah.
But, you know,
what if it goes high before 20 years?
That's what I understand.
You're supposed to sell it high.
Like you get wicked baked
and then you sell it.
Yeah, you should buy
stocks when you're like depressed.
Right.
And sell them when you're
so like absolutely
buttered on toast or whatever they
say.
Buttered on toast.
Oh, you guys, I'm getting totally
buttered on toast today.
Oh yeah, melt me over some asparagus
i am on drugs um yeah you guys do drugs yeah i love them yeah cool let me give you a list
i'm gonna get it i'm doing an nft of a cocaine yeah dave's got one cocaine he's looking to sell it so one granule one granule of cocaine
street value 15 million dollars cool and then also you'll come over and and yeah oh yeah sure
yeah no i've got to put the granule in your nose along with uh and Balky partaking so yeah Balky's
probably got a couple good NFTs kicking around
he's probably got a little bit of cocaine
if you've seen that schnoz on him
that's true
he's his counterpart
I've been trying to catch up on Succession
and his cousin Larry
makes an appearance in Succession.
Very briefly, but he looks good.
Yeah, I'm on season two as well, and I just saw him for the first time.
Yeah, he looks good.
I think he's aged well.
I would absolutely watch a reboot of Perfect Strangers if that's in the off.
He looks like he's in The Grateful Dead now, which is great.
Yes.
He has a great look.
Yeah, he's got kind of like a, doesn't he have like a twirly mustache in it?
Yeah, it's like long and kind of long hair.
Yeah, yeah.
No, I think he looks good.
Mark Lindbergh.
He's a billionaire, you know, like everyone on that show.
Everybody's a billionaire on that show.
Also, a billion dollars that's just thrown around like that's chump change.
They're always just saying well we'll throw 44 billion
at this thing yeah well because you know what it is it's a million dollars isn't cool what is cool
well okay do you know what is what uh uh wait which what did i say before it wasn't million
okay billion um the uh i we had the mad magazine my family
my magazines were sort of the original nfts and your family it was like the family bible
you all gathered around a red man yeah yeah yeah uh it was a ribbon down the middle of it to
keep track of what passage we were on uh and uh i remember the we had the one that had the spoof of perfect
strangers oh nice do you want to guess the name of it uh imperfect strangers perf yet yet
strong
i can't channel changers how about that that's good. The answer is perfectly strange.
Oh, it was too simple.
Yeah.
Mad Magazine strikes again.
I wouldn't want to be Belky Bartok of us at this moment.
I also remember Seinfeld was Swinefield.
Swinefield?
That's good.
I guess.
Yeah, it's just anything that was a play on words even if it
had nothing to do with the as long as it was like a negative play on words like we're not gonna like
you know spoof you to the stars yeah that's right just a gentle uh uh your ribbing is what
spoof you to the stars as they say there's a
there's two wikipedia articles
that have all of the mad magazine
tv spoofs and all the magazine
movie spoofs
read them to us
give us a couple chance to guess
hmm
okay
I didn't know they had them in like the
60s
oh yeah
what's the Mary Tyler Moore show
I don't know
very terrible
no
the Mary Taylor Maid show
okay that's what's the one you were laughing
at so hard okay well
the 60s ones are
amazing
okay guess what the spoof
of Lassie was
Lassie
Lizzie
just another name
it's just a different name.
Okay.
Okay.
Guess what the Rifleman was?
The Awfulman.
Yeah.
The Rifleman.
With a comma.
Alright.
Because of the beat generation.
I guess so.
How about Batman?
Batman.
Bad.
Muh.
It's
Batsman.
They're not even trying.
Oh, God. Oh, man.
Okay, guess what 77
Sunset Strip was? oh god oh man guess what 77 sunset strip was
777
sunset strip
that one
they did spoof it to the stars
yeah when did they figure out puns
the 80s
Star Trek was Starblech
yeah Blech was I knew knew that's gonna be in there
yeah what was mod bland mod was bod b-a-w-d-e sure sure why not okay how about murphy brown
oh yeah murphy brown that's a good one. Maude ran, so she could...
Oh, Murphy Brown
is Murky Brown.
Murky Brown? Okay, not bad.
Anyway, we can't do this all day.
Well, we want to, can't we?
It's a bonus episode.
It's got a bonus episode written all over it.
Yeah, it really does.
Did you, Taz, when you were a youth,
did you read the Mad Magazine?
Yes, I did. and also Cracked yes yeah
and Crazy oh you read Crazy
that was a hard one
to find Cracked you could get
kind of anywhere but wasn't there
Crazy and Cracked was the janitor
and Crazy was a guy with like an egg head
hmm
I don't know Cracked was like a little boy janitor
yeah yeah
like a little rag coming out of his
back pocket and overalls
yeah he was called like
Nigel or something like that he had just like a
regular old name and
but cracked was always like a level
down don't you feel like it was
like magazine really nailed it
and then cracked kind of like
was the mad tv to saturday night live yeah i didn't i didn't figure that out till i was in
my teens so when you're when you're younger you don't know i also had go bots and i was like these
are great what is the was it go by the thing that transformed as well or is it just uh yeah
yeah it was just a poorer version nice
nice yeah remember the
ones that they had at McDonald's that were like
turned into a french fry and turned into a hamburger
no
really oh shit I thought you guys
for sure of all the guys you
would know Muppet Babies
all the way yeah those Muppet Baby
ones went a long way yeah
Fraggle Rock ones where they're in the little vegetables.
Oh, yeah.
I just gave away a set of those, so
you know, nostalgic
value doesn't last forever. That's
what people need to know.
Those were the original NFTs.
Yeah, I made them into an NFT.
There's also, I made
an NFT of me slam dunking
a basketball and one of me doing an awesome hacky sack trick
these are all for sale at my website
GrahamNFT.com
how much for the six stall? I'll take interesting trades and or best offer
I'm not going to put a price on it because uh
you know somebody big fish may come in you know and they make a lot of money um i'll come to your
house and reboot your wi-fi just unplug it and plug it back yeah i'm plugging and plugging it
back in wait for 10 seconds though yeah yeah don't worry there's no rush they tell you to
wait for a minute but no one's waiting for a minute i did it right before we did the show smart oh yeah um when you were youth taz you're
reading mad magazine did you skateboard did you do anything like that what was your what kept you
busy after school i also skateboarded fire sticks i know that i did did Firesticks. I skateboarded. I loved West Beach.
It was a store right near me
because I grew up kind of around 4th Avenue.
It was owned by
Chip Wilson.
Oh, was it?
We didn't know he was a bad person back then.
His house was worth $75
million. Would a bad person have a house
worth $75 million? For the listener who's not
a local celebrity, Chip Wilson, he's 75 million dollars would a bad person have a house worth 75 the listener who's not it doesn't know
local celebrity chip wilson he's uh the founder of lululemon yes lululemon yeah no longer affiliated
he was bought out yeah he was the board succession style yeah sure yeah by mark lynn baker um he uh
i did like after um ted x talks here in vancouver i did comedy after him because
he was so boring they said he's so boring you guys we have to end on a kind of nice note so
and it's true it was boring um okay okay well you know he's a friend and you know he can take a bit of ripping but i used to serve him soup but soup spoons
oh nice what did he get yeah what's he chicken lemongrass probably chicken very popular yeah
and his son was very uh very what's that what's that word when uh kids are acting like adults
ostentatious maybe oh uh? Oh, precocious.
Precocious, very. He was just like,
so, what do you make an hour here?
He would just ask me very adult questions and
he was like, maybe 10 at the time.
Yeah, he was like, I'll double it.
Yeah.
And now he owns Kitten Ace,
I guess? I don't know if that's still
a thing.
But West Beach was a very, like, does that exist anymore?
I don't think so.
But you had to have the hoodie in my school.
Yeah, it was a hoodie brand that also made surfboards and snowboards.
And was from Kitsilano, where no surfing happens.
snowboard and was was from kits alano where yeah nothing happens i have a i still have like i went out today in my west beach snowboard coat from 20 years ago whoa nice there you go yeah very cool
made to last they were expensive i didn't go snowboarding the hoodies were like 60 when i was
a kid i remember it was like i couldn't afford one. I remember the guy in my class that had one.
He was the only guy.
Didn't make it over to Alberta, but he was held
up as pretty special for having one.
I got this coat about
20 years ago and
I had a lot of money
back then. I should have put it in an RSP
but instead
I put it in a COAT coat.
There you go. But you still have have it so that's still an investment technically
yeah
and it's fluctuating right now because of the snow
so
what's the oldest object of clothing that you still wear
like
I'm trying to picture my own
what would be the oldest
I think I have an old
like buffalo check
shirt. I feel like that's my eldest garment that I can
squeeze into. Like, from my 20s.
I've had it a good amount of time. Doesn't really fit anymore, but I still
have it. Dave, yours is the West Beach thing, I assume.
I guess it is, because I haven't gone snowboarding in 15 years.
But I can like, it's a good coat for days like this where it snowed,
but it's also dripping out of the trees.
Oh, man.
This is like getting hit in the head with a giant pound of snow weather.
Yeah, it's one of know about that kind of weather.
A giant pound of snow.
Hey, Greg, what weighs more, a giant pound of snow or a giant pound of feathers?
Dave, a giant pound of snow is way heavier.
Doy.
He's from Calgary.
Yeah.
He knows.
I still have a public enemy t-shirt oh shit
from elementary school that I
found like five years ago I was like
I can still wear it but I can't
also it says fear of
a black planet on the back
I can't still wear this
I was sporting that
if you sell it you'll probably get like
I bet you'll get you could get $150
for that
because everybody loves t-shirts now If you sell it, you'll probably get like, I bet you'll get, you could get $150 for that.
For like, because everybody loves t-shirts now.
Cool, it's a size small, let me know.
Sure.
Hit me up on Instagram if you want that t-shirt.
That song by Macklemore, Thrift Shop, was on the radio the other day, and he mentions that $50 for a t-shirt is too much.
Yeah, that's true.
And he also wants to wear your grandpa's pajamas or something.
Yeah, it smells like urine, I think he says. Yes, yes.
Public Enemy ran so Macklemore could thrift shop.
That's true.
It's all related.
macklemore could thrift shop that's true it's all related um yeah that macklemore you i don't hear a peep out of him these days how is he is he okay is he
like porn shops yeah has he been has he been shut down is he on vacation what is is he still shaving
the sides of his head yeah yeah yeah what kind of hairdo is he rocking these days
um because then he went he went in a grammy or something right you think i give a fuck about a grammy that was him right that was him yeah um no he uh he and ryan lewis let's i let's not leave
ryan lewis that's right more and ryan lewis equation uh. I'm sure they won Grammys.
They did. Famously, they beat Kendrick Lamar. And everyone was like,
no, this is wrong.
And then
they did a song about buying a scooter.
Buying a scooter? The downtown
song? Maybe in brackets?
The downtown song?
And they did a song about how being gay is okay.
So now they finally are okay with it because
they said it was yeah exactly macklemore was the last vote yeah macklemore on the supreme court
turned he wrote the decision on that one yeah yeah yeah and uh ryan lewis voted against it oh man he
should do a song about abortion thank yes we need to hear about
macklemore yeah when i was seven i thought abortion was bad but then my uncle was like
i had an abortion and i was like oh hey maybe this thing a little different
and then the whole thing turns around and texas is free to do what they want
huh yeah where is macklemore i wonder yeah and somewhere in washington yeah exactly Texas is free to do what they want. Huh? Yeah. Where is Matt Moore? I wonder.
Yeah.
Somewhere in Washington.
Yeah,
exactly.
Lobbying.
Mr.
Moore goes to Washington.
I love it.
Maybe he's still doing,
maybe he's still touring around.
No,
he's from Seattle.
I meant Washington state.
Oh,
sure.
I thought you meant Washington,
uh,
trying to make bills and whatnot.
Laws.
Yes.
I hope so.
Yeah.
Is Davey looking him up?
See where he's at?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Kind of a where's Waldo, but.
He went to Evergreen State College in Olympia.
Oh, hey, that's all right.
Olympia, not far from Tacoma.
Home of the Tacoma Dome.
Olympia's the capital of Washington, isn't it?
That's true. Yeah, yeah. Where you can find Slater Kinney Road. Ah, minutiae. Thank you. Here we go.
I like on Wikipedia how when you click on a famous person
you can see their signature. What?
Yeah, like if you look up any president
they've got like a png file of their signature
oh man anyway that's an nft yeah that's true that's the new collecting signatures
macklemore is uh his signature is all blocked letters cool that's cool did you ever get
someone's signature oh yeah yeah when i was a kid I totally thought that was
the best.
They're not nobody famous though.
I got a busker to sign something for me.
I think I still have it.
It probably made his day.
Sometimes kids ask me to sign their
binder
when I do school shows.
It's very funny.
You don't really...
Well you're here anyways. You brought your very funny like you don't really okay well you're here anyways and
you brought your own pen so i don't want to i don't need to be embarrassed because you do you
still uh not in the past while but do you still do the traveling around from schools and performing
for the youngins uh yeah yeah yeah i did i did one recently and it was very surreal because
they were all wearing masks and we were all wearing masks.
It was just totally normal.
Yeah.
So it was surreal for me, but for the kids, they were just like, yeah, go do the show.
Yeah.
We haven't seen a face in so long.
It's fine.
They must go nuts for it.
We never had anything like that when I was in school like an improv or comedy show for
the students yeah when you do an improv show for the schools is it does it have to have a message
or anything kind of like loosely it's supposed to but we don't really you can tell they don't
like that uh the kids aren't into that they just want to have fun and and yell weird memes at us
that we don't understand so yeah what are
the hot memes uh i don't know and haven't done it in like two years but uh yeah it's richard karn
uh big chungus was big i think i've talked about this before oh yeah we totally discussed chungus
for sure yeah chungus rules the chungus among us big chungus big chungus fat
bugs bunny yeah baby yeah man oh man now that's an nft see this is how it works
stop saying things you're an nft you can't just say that and make it an nft
you don't know what that means you're not like do you don't have a computer chugging in the background creating an NFT and burning fossil fuels or whatever.
Yeah, that's true.
Aren't they bad for the environment, NFTs?
I say it was crypto that's bad.
Yeah, crypto is bad.
I think they both are.
Jeez Louise.
Everything's bad.
I think it's fine, though,
that the last kind of gasp of the planet is making up coins.
Yeah, that's true.
That's actually... I support that. I think making up coins. That's actually
I support that. I think it's cool.
It's cool.
Dave, what's going on with you, man?
Well, I also got my license.
I know Kelly talked about that.
Yeah, let's talk about that.
I got my full license.
Did you have your learners for 10 years like
i had my hand last week 15 years 16 maybe what now i'm younger than you and when i was a teenager
uh it was much easier to get your driver's license yeah you just you got your learner's permit for like 30
days and then you could just after or maybe it was six months or something anyway but after that
point you just got your full license yeah i didn't get my actual and until i was like 23 yeah it was
so the way it the a few years later they changed it to you get your learners and then you have to
drive around with an l on the back of your car right right and then take another test and get
an n oh you get an n that's right new driver is the l a written test i think so yeah and you can
only like you have to always have someone who's like super in charge in the car
with you yeah and then the n you have is that a road test or a written that's a road test but
it's not like you don't go on the highway and i don't think you have to parallel park
oh man and then there's restrictions you can't have anyone uh under 25 or there always has to
be someone over 25 in the car what if there was a guy guy on craigslist
is that a hustle side hustle to have a an ad on craigslist like i'll sit in your car
with you while you drive around with your n be pretty good and then so you had that for 15 years
and then you yeah just took a test to get rid of that, and now you have unlimited driving. Now I can drive the exact same way I was before, but now I can rent a car.
Ah, nice.
Not that I can afford to rent a car right now, because they're so expensive.
Are they really?
Yeah.
And also, oh yeah, you have to bring your own car.
Right?
What car did you bring?
Yes, you bring a car to a driver's test, Graham.
We did this last week. But what kind of car do you have? Because if you a car to a driver's test graham we did this last week
but what kind of car do you have because you couldn't rent a car whose car uh i used an evo
oh shit okay there you go evo uh saves the day once again and when he asked me to turn on the
brights the high beams i was like i don't know how i've never had to use it in an Evo. Yeah. Yeah. Driving around in the fog.
Yeah.
But now.
He was nice.
He's like lower.
Yeah.
Almost there.
And I was like, click.
Yep.
Okay.
Well, that's a lot like renting a car is you never know where.
Yeah.
Every car has like different little like, oh, I did the windshield wipers by accident
that is always the case though
if you're searching for anything in a car windshield
wipers are going to go off and the trunk's
going to open yeah that's right
yeah and also
like finding a like the gas
door a little gas door
yeah a little gas lever
and then you go to
fill up the tank and you're like, oh, the gas is on the opposite side.
Gotta follow that arrow, rookie.
Yeah, there's an arrow on your dashboard.
But then you, you know, you move the car around and then, oh, I did it wrong again.
And then you look down and you're wearing a tweed coat and you're Mr. Bean.
You're Mr. Bean.
Holy shit. That's how you find out yeah your doctor comes in and tells you have you ever been on a diving board
for 45 minutes you've been diagnosed with bean
have you been locked out of your hotel room naked and there's a you try to get downstairs
and there's an old lady going so slow.
Yeah.
You might be a bean, but there's hope.
There's lots of new treatments.
So Dave, what's going on with you?
Okay.
For real.
What's going on with me?
I caught up on a couple of movies.
Nice.
I watched the latest Paul Thomas Anderson movie.
As long as you don't count the ones that came out after 2017.
But on New Year's Eve, I was like, okay, it's eight o'clock.
I could really dig into Phantom Th thread right now yes did you yeah have
you ever seen it yeah i liked it no i thought it was weird i liked it no likey or nocini
tessie i have not seen it okay well it's uh go ahead and ruin it no i i couldn't possibly it's a real uh one of these movies
where you're like you know how you you have your phone all the time now yeah and if a movie's
boring for 30 seconds you look at your phone and miss 10 minutes of it uh this is a movie where
it's all boring but you're like i guess that's the point but it looks really good
so i should look at it yeah it is it's very good looking movie and it was uh daniel day lewis's
last film he's retired now i didn't know that yeah he's gonna be just he's cobbling now he's
only gonna do tv now yeah he's gonna be on general hospital gonna act the whole fucking back of the show
I just wanna act every day
every
every time he goes to set they have to put
like everyone has to pretend they're really
in a hospital
oh method actors
keep it up
sir you've been diagnosed with
bean
oh no oh bean oh no
oh no
I'm going to tell my wife
Mr. Bean does
go to the dentist at one point
and uh
he jabs the dentist with
Novocaine in the leg
it's cause he's eating all those
really loud hard candies yes yeah yeah he loves
a hard candy loves cheating on a test he's religious there's a whole thing where he's in a
church yeah i think that's uh boy is that in episode one in the pilot probably i i wonder if they i was thinking about mr bean this morning because i
i'm wearing contact lenses and i was like i wonder if mr b never thought
but there was a decision around should i wear glasses that would be great if that was like
if you were applying for a job as a writer and your spec strip script was just Mr. Bean.
And then he goes,
and then he does.
Well, sometimes he'll say,
or Danny LaRue will say,
that's my frock.
So we watched that by we i mean myself yeah and a couple nights later i
was like ah this is movies are too long oh yeah no kidding and i was like oh i've heard this movie's
very long uh but i'm gonna try it anyway The new James Bond
Ah yes
How long
It's 2 hours and 43 minutes
Jesus Christ
I watched it and fell asleep periodically
I
Don't
I don't know why I felt I needed to watch it
Yeah
Like I
I watch every new James Bond
movie when it comes out and I'm
not sure I like any of them.
But you drive
his official car and you have the official watch.
Yeah and I wear, I drink the
official vodka of him.
And the Omega watch.
I wear all my Omegas
and I drink Belvedere and i drive an aston martin
and i love the uh shoes by reebok james bond reebok wearing a beautiful tuxedo with reebok
pump sneakers just no not even just like the mall walkers. You're a James Bond completionist.
Well, he does the Reebok.
They have that little, what do you call it?
The British flag, the Union Jack on them.
They do?
Yeah, they're British.
They did. Maybe he should wear British knights.
Yeah, that makes sense.
Or Kangals that has that little pocket in it so you can keep a
kangaroo kangals are the hats oh he should wear a kangal he should definitely wear a kangal hat
he's retired he can do what he wants now well that's true he can finally bust out his kangal hat
the new james bond they should get uh joe pantoliano to be the new James Bond in a Kangol hat.
Pantoliani?
Joey Pants.
Do you find the last, the Daniel Craig ones are not fun?
I find them not fun.
Yeah, they're very moody and broody.
Yeah.
And bad attitude-y.
Yeah, right. and broody yeah and bad attitudey and they're right but i think i my problem with the james
bond movies is that they're so fun uh like the first scene is always so much fun and then there's
like a super cool the credits opening billy eilish there's billy eilish uh and there's a song about the title of the movie there's no time to die some other guy
has time to die but not this guy he's james bond he's a total spy
yeah i've only seen though the first one was casino royale with him oh it's so good it was
fun but then it got like i don't know the second one was so moody
that i was like like try don't try to out moody batman the second one's where he gets hit in the
in the balls a bunch i think that's right maybe he gets hit in the balls in all of them
i know a coyote bites his balls in one of them just every chase how does he get in the nuts in this one
and he looks down he's wearing a tweed sport coat oh no
bean mr bean johnny english yeah i bet that's good oh yeah I bet it's good yeah
but yeah I think my problem is that the
first
the first like 10 minutes
of every James Bond movie is so good
and then the rest of the movie is like
just like
I just like the chases I don't care
you just want the parkour
yeah I don't care when you find
YouTube videos
I should just watch District 13 yeah You just want the parkour. Yeah, I don't care when you find... You should watch parkour on YouTube videos.
I should just watch District 13.
Yeah.
I don't care that it's like when he finds out,
oh, this person double-crossed me.
Who cares?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not a real person anyway.
Why do you trust them?
They're a movie character.
Yeah.
And like, I don't follow the... There's no through line right except that it's unfortunately
there is it's too complicated i don't understand weren't the old ones they were kind of standalone
yeah that's what i want i want it to be like a law and order episode where we don't have to deal
with what happened last week yeah it used to be capers and now it's like
psychological thrillers yeah and it's like uh in this one he's got to go visit the grave of
eva green's character from casino royale because he's like he's like sad James Bond yeah but he's got to go visit
her grave because his girlfriend is like
hey uh
I want us to be together so he goes
say goodbye to a grave
yeah but then he hits his balls
in the gravestone he's like gone
the gravestone
doinks him
there's not
enough room in our relationship for your dead love.
So tell her she's out.
Yeah.
Well, can I do it in person?
I guess.
Yeah.
So was the new one was, was it justified to be almost three hours long?
You know what?
It was, I think I liked
it the best of any
of them since Casino Royale.
Really? I fell asleep.
But did you have a good sleep?
Yeah. I was watching it in bed
also. Did you
have a
I had 48
hours to watch it. I rented it
and it said you have 48 hours to watch this and i was
like they should give you 48 hours plus two hours and 43 minutes yeah yeah absolutely like it's not
fair that that to see the you know an 85 minute mr bean movie i have it for the same amount of
time as this eight hour james bond movie you're a better person than me i just uh streamed it
illegally oh sure yeah you still have it probably well it's streaming everyone everyone has it
dave yeah i guess so i don't if you go to the website yeah you do if you go to the website
no dave had it and then they took it away from it's like an nft everyone has it but no one does
so yes who does it belong to exactly yeah exactly richard karn
the richest man in the world karn richard karn what if we found out that richard karn was
actually a billionaire and he was just slumming it i want to see someone do
one of those james bond intros with like uh al borland singing well no he's like doing all the
like walking through and he like turns and shoots but it's a drill in his hand
and then it's an ad for haynes yeah i don't think so mr bond oh maybe he could be the bad guy the dead when don't wear plaid or whatever
something something with plaid plaid eye plaid finger
plaid finger i don't think so tim wait. Wait, that's Moon River.
Anyway, check out Cinema.
It's what's going down.
Damn right.
Yeah, Cinema's it.
Did you see anything else?
Or was that the full list of... That's the full list.
Two movies.
More movies than I've seen in months.
With having two children, there's no movie time, is there?
Abby and I switch off who does bedtime.
Okay.
So every other night I should have movie time, but then sometimes I'll just watch hockey.
Aren't your kids constantly chanting, licorice pizza, licorice pizza?
And I'm like, no, I'm two Paulomas anderson's behind i have to watch they're all
canon one leads up to the other but they're like well we've already seen inherent vice
uh yeah i like that movie the inherent vice that's pretty. That was pretty good. Oh, yeah. Did you like Licorice Pizza?
I didn't see it. Who are you looking at?
I'm looking at you, Dave.
I didn't see Licorice Pizza.
Oh, you saw Paul Thomas Anderson.
That's what I thought you said, Wes Anderson.
No.
What did you say?
Paul Thomas Anderson?
Maybe.
Fun fact, Wes Anderson is his dad.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, that's interesting.
It seems like there's a lot of Andersons in the world, but there just three yeah all thomas wes and mister from the matrix yes yes which also just
came out have you did you see that have you streamed that no have you seen the how many
matrices have you seen i guess all of them except that one but i feel like i'd have to watch them
again to understand any sort of through line boy i think i'd have to watch the first one again to
understand the first one yeah yeah i don't even get the memes about the pills i forget which is
and they both look like dristan capsules yeah it's like oh boy okay one of these won't make
me drowsy one of these is gonna knock my
ass out is that what the whole thing's about it's like oh if you accept
take this pill and it will make you drowsy and you'll go back to
neverland yeah you'll go back to the goo i remember they're suspended in goo
oh yes yeah and the other one you can you can operate heavy machinery which is the spaceship
the ever can ever
Ebenezer Scrooge
the ever can ever
with Tank
and Tristan
what are the names of the guys
who run Tristan
Tristan and Tank
I only saw I saw the second one I saw the first and the second one both in the theater of the guys who run. Dristan, please. Dristan and Ting.
I saw the second one. I saw the first and the second one, both in the theater.
And then I
peaced out because I
didn't care. Which one has
the blonde dread
twins? The second one.
Yeah.
And you know what?
The stuff on the highway fight is pretty good i don't i
only think i saw the first one and then i was like this is good movie i don't want to see
any more of it but it was so wise thank you finally not a completionist no actually quite
the opposite i'll watch one thing no one to walk away yeah sometimes I'll watch one thing. You know when to walk away?
Yeah, sometimes I'll watch one episode of a series and be like, that was good for me.
What a good taste.
Anyway, so no, I did not see Licorice Pizza.
I saw the Phantom Thread.
Oh, you saw Phantom Thread.
That's right.
Right, right, right.
Right, right, right.
Although maybe I need to go back and see the Master to really understand Phantom Thread.
What the hell's going on?
What's up with you?
It's funny that you would bring up James Bond because the last week I was supposed to go visit my family in Calgary, Alberta, but decided to not go because of this. I don't know if you guys have heard about this Omicron,
but it's blown up.
Omicron.
Omicron.
So you're doing Omicron?
My name is Dennis, but it's Omicron.
So, yeah, there was, I didn't go, and I was sad to not go.
But one of the things I did with my family is we, sometimes we watch a movie all together and just text back and forth through whatsapp making fun of the movie
and this we've done with dirty dancing we did it with uh i can't remember what the other one
we did with but this time we did it with the world is not enough oh james bond bond and earlier Oh, James Bond! James Bond! An earlier Pierce Brosnan Bond.
Is that the one? Is Halle Berry in that?
No, that's the one before.
Is Madonna in it?
No.
Boy.
Robert Carlyle is the bad guy.
Is this like the second or third Pierce Brosnan?
I'm not sure where it falls in the lineup.
Is there skiing?
Yeah.
Yeah, there's a skiing.
Yes, there's absolutely skiing.
Yeah.
Is the theme song by, okay, I'm going to guess.
Okay.
Chris Cornell?
No.
Nelly.
Nelly.
No.
Yeah, is it Nelly?
So it's a 90s one so uh boy uh counting crows counting
crows that's it round here they just that was the they had to change the title to round here round
here james bond edition mud honey james bond came from nashville with a suitcase in his hand. He said, I'd like to meet a boy who looks like James Bond.
And he walks around the, you know.
Wait, did James Bond in this story walk into a place and ask for James Bond?
Uh-huh.
Okay.
Like he's walking on a wire in the British intelligence.
He parks his Aston Martin
Outside my house
And takes his tuxedo off
Said he's close to understanding
James Bond
There you go, well done
Well he knows he's more than just a little
You gotta let me get there
Misunderstood, it's gonna get loud
He has trouble acting normal
When he's nervous
There we go Well done, well done Was it garbage? He has trouble acting normal when he's nervous.
There I go.
Well done.
Well done.
Was it garbage?
Yes,
it was garbage.
Yeah,
it was garbage.
And Robert Carlyle from the full Monty and a train spotting is the,
he's the bad guy.
Yeah.
And somehow he's got, he had a bullet go into his head and it's like traveling
through his brain and it's making him immune
to pain so they're like
eventually the bullet will kill him but in the meantime
he's like
it's traveling slowly
yeah like eventually it'll kill him
yeah it was weird they showed like a 3D
you know how in movies they'll have like a
yeah kind of like Crank
yeah it was like a prototype of Crank
enough said I'm not a completionist either leave it at that how movies still have like a yeah kind of like crank yeah cool it was like a prototype of crank
enough said i'm not a completionist either leave it at that um yeah i've seen crank high voltage
the sequel it's rough that that crank series whoo it didn't it didn't age well the cranks
christmas with the cranks is also in that list the trilogy the uh so yeah james bond at one point he skis and john cleese is like the guy who's going to
inherit q's oh this is where they did the crossover yeah so then q says something he
says something to james bond and then he disappears into the floor, like some elevator takes him down, and then I guess he's dead.
I guess he's out of the picture.
We never see Desmond Llewellyn again?
No, we see John Cleese at the end.
Like, he's dead.
By the way, he's dead.
Yeah, the elevator malfunctioned, I guess.
And then John Cleese is is like i will never play at
colleges again they're too sensitive the end um there's a scene the skiing scene
is great because there was a you know he's always got a new gadget or whatever so one of the gadgets
was this thing that just inflates around you a giant ball
you know like that where people run in the field and bounce into each other with uh
zoo yeah yeah it was yeah a zoo zoo ball a you a you zoo ball yeah sure yes a boba tea but he obviously he goes skiing and as soon as he goes skiing you know that it's a foregone
conclusion that he's going to end up in an avalanche of some sort it was like i could
not tell what you meant what's the foregone conclusion i thought you were gonna say he's
gonna end up fucking a ski bunny i'm going to the chalet so anyways he uses zorbing yeah he uses the zorb to save the day oh yeah i think that's an actual
like a uh an avalanche survival technique is to have a zororb? Aren't there inflatable backpacks that people
have for...
I don't know. Maybe this is one of those things
where James Bond predicts.
That's what the St. Bernard brings, is a Zorb.
Brings you a big Zorb.
Put the Zorb on.
Yeah, so I watched
The World is Not Enough
with the family, and then also who's the who's the uh
the bond woman in that uh bond girl is that what we say yeah bond girl i don't know her
from anything else was it sophie marceau yeah i think it was sophie marceau that makes sense what else has she done uh french movies
yeah um yeah and is in the new bond movies who's the boss the boss is ray fines
oh he's the he's the um what is it m is M the boss M but there's I was
like as it was
as I was watching and I was like is there crossover like
when they get a new bond do they get a new Q
and that Q was there the whole time
the first Q was there for
hundreds of the movies yes
yeah and then like
the first couple Daniel Craig
movies didn't have a Q no he would just go to
the sharper image and get gadgets you would order them get the hammock or slammer catalog yeah and
he would have like a airplane that was a lighter and that kind of shit but also like a cool mailbox, just like some quaint home folksy stuff.
And then like Judy Dench was M.
Yes.
And I wasn't sure if she continued on.
She was in Daniel Craig and Pierce Brosnan ones.
Yeah, that's what I thought.
So she connects it.
It's all part of the same universe.
I don't know this world.
This is Pierce Brosnan was was he was the last before
Daniel Craig right or is there something I'm missing
I just know people like the GoldenEye game
yes yeah the GoldenEye game
was fun yeah GoldenEye game
was fantastic reboot that
you know gotta make a new GoldenEye game
come to your place and reboot the GoldenEye game
for you on an NFT yeah
sure have Ralph Fiennes come over new golden eye game come to your place and reboot the golden eye game for you yeah yeah sure okay
have rave fines come over and reboot my n64 no you have to your tv has to be on channel four
okay sorry thanks rave thanks rave uh this isn't an invitation to stick around
but you have four controllers and only no one else here.
I know, but I want to do the like story mode.
Well, do you guys want to move on to overheards?
Okay.
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Overheard.
Overheards.
If the world is not enough for you, bring some Overheards.
Make it worthwhile.
We always like to start with the guest.
Taz, would you please lead us into the overheard verse? Yes.
My overheard
is sort of an ongoing
overheard, and I'm surprised
it hasn't come up.
It's in my neighborhood, and it's a dog.
Okay.
It's a local dog. Are you surprised it hasn't come up
because we live in your neighborhood?
No, because i would have
heard it oh oh the dog is named bernie he lives in my building and i know he's out and about
because he literally just goes he has like a almost hooting owl sort of sound and i know he's
he wants to know more he's interested because i've seen him out there and like know he wants to know more. He's interested because I've seen him out there and when he wants to go somewhere, he's like,
whoo!
It is very clear hoot.
It's not a howl.
It's a whoo.
And it sounds like a human when he does it.
I know it's Bernie.
Bernie's out and about.
Hi, Bernie.
Hi, Bernie.
We saw a video of a deaf dog that when he barks,
he doesn't make any noise because he
doesn't know he's supposed to make noise oh yeah he just goes wow adorable that's good i hope to
meet bernie someday i'd like to know maybe a dog yeah he's like a hound okay all right okay that makes sense yeah like a blowing on a beer bottle yeah those are
fun dave do you all right let's do it yes kind of yeah do i need to fill it up with water to get a
little higher yeah but you have a bunch of different ones yeah sure and maybe a
little some you know mallets and make a little uh carol of the bells or whatever sugar dance
with the sugar plum prairies do you remember seeing people that could play the glasses
like on a town i remember yeah yes i mean i guess do that yeah on youtube yeah that's true probably on youtube i remember that from uh from like
breakfast with santa did anyone go do that at like the department stores i'm 80 years old
practice with santa you know you're you're on christmas morning your mom would wake up and there'd be santa in bed with her and you'd be
like oh get over here kid yeah no it was like you go to eaton's or sears and they had like a show
room i don't know it was it was like you'd have food and then there would be like a show and it
would be like someone would play the thing so a guy would i remember a guy playing the saw
oh yeah the saw rules and
this and then santa was there and it was a whole thing but i was like four this is like in the
early 80s probably the tail end of like the weird breakfast of santa's they had yeah i went to go
see the french band air in uh you know like like 2005. In a mall? No.
With Santa Claus?
No.
This is not related to that mall portion of the story.
At Eaton's? But the opening act was a duo who played like theremin
oh yeah and one of them played the
theremin the other played the singing saw
this is
music for ghosts everybody
I had two tickets and I could
not get anyone to go with me
because they heard who the opening acts were i don't know why i think that was the only one i
knew who liked air because you were not a sexy boy that's true uh speaking of which sexy boy
do you have an overheard well thank you for proving him wrong uh mine is an overheard This was on I was on 8th Avenue
8th and Cambie
Near the
Near the Wendy's
Okay yes
But I was not going to the Wendy's
No no no
It was just walking past
And there was
You going to the Winners?
There was a woman
An old lady
A very sweet looking old lady Loading stuff from Winners? There was a woman, an old lady, a very sweet looking old lady, loading stuff from winners into the back of her car.
And you know how we don't really know what to do with snow in this city?
Yeah.
And they always tell drivers like, clear the snow off the roof of your car because it'll fall off and the car you will uh take the brunt of it uh well this uh
this lady was loading it her stuff into the back of her car so just a nice sweet old lady and uh
this car come this suv goes like pulls up behind her and like kind of stopped abruptly and all the snow on the roof of the car
just crunches like as they stop the snow goes forward and they like cover their own windshield
with this and it's super icy and loud and this woman is just who i thought was this sweet old
woman just goes what the? I'll fucking kill you.
Anyway.
And driving the SUV was
Mr. Bean.
He's forcing that three-wheeled
car off the road.
Oh yes, was this lady
putting Winner's things into a three-wheeled car
yeah yeah yeah have you ever seen somebody on one of those three three-wheel motorcycles
are there two wheels in the front yeah either there's two wheels in the front or
oh the dmx special is that dmx dmx had like an atv yeah he had anything this is like a rough
rider thing well i don't know what
that is part of rough riders never mind anyways you see them on the streets and they're pretty
silly pretty silly looking if you're gonna get a motorcycle go two wheels don't go three
you know two cool three not at all yeah but what if i tip over that's true uh that's the risk you're gonna have to
take to be cool um yeah well the one i'm looking at well i used to work at a tv show that was a
like a car reviewing show where they would do like thumbs up and thumbs down to new cars
and there was one we did one about the piaggio mp3 which was named after the music file
yeah yeah yeah piaggio myspace uh and it was it had two wheels in the front and you could
it would kind of like slide their change position as you turned cool very Yeah, very cool. Anyway, go ahead.
Oh, my overheard very much is a stretch at best.
Because it was in a movie that I watched last night called Hand That Rocks the Cradle.
Oh, with Rebecca DeMornay?
Yes.
Yeah.
And, oh, Lloyd Braun?
Yes, Lloyd Braun.
Yes.
Excellent.
Yes.
And Julianne Moore in a supporting role.
Oh.
Yeah.
She plays the lead's best friend.
Oh, who's the mother of the couple?
A dark-haired lady?
Yeah, a dark-haired lady. So if you don't know what the plot of it is, is it's about a woman who becomes obsessed with a woman that's married.
And so she becomes obsessed with the couple and she becomes obsessed with their kid.
And so and then their baby.
So she's just obsessed.
She's their nanny.
She's the yeah.
She becomes the person that she's obsessed with.
Nanny.
And they are not, you know, spoiler ahead. becomes the person that she's obsessed with nanny and they
not you know spoiler ahead if you haven't
seen if you've managed to get this far without
seeing and then she cooks the rabbit
no yes
same same feel
vibe and then she sleeps with the enemy
yes yes yeah and then she's
like a single white female
yes she is that's very
close I remember uh yeah and then she's like a single white female at a certain point yes she is that's very close
so um i remember uh they had like a caretaker yes ernie hudson and like she she uh tried to
pin some bad stuff on him by putting the kid's underwear in his pocket. And I also remember the commercial
He goes to blow his nose and it's just
I remember the tagline
was the hand that rocks the cradle
is the hand that rules the world.
Whoa. Yeah.
Mommy.
Mom's rule.
Canadian girls kick ass
so she's obsessed with this baby she wants to keep this baby and there's a scene where they
find out who she is and uh what she's been up to and they say you must leave immediately and she
goes okay i just have to get my baby i mean my things and then does she try to steal
the baby yes steal the baby and you know who helps them out ernie hudson ernie hudson you gotta
love him yeah so that's he's the real ghostbuster yeah he loves that town it's
he it's also the first thing i've ever seen him in where he doesn't have a mustache so
he's got range and he has a mustache as a like he's like uh janitor or like landscaper
groundskeeper guy he's making where fence does he wear a uh jumpsuit he does. Just like in Ghostbusters? Yeah.
Is he jumpsuit only?
I don't know.
He was in Oz. I remember that.
He was on the TV show Oz.
Oh, sure. Prison jumpsuit? Prison jumpsuit, yeah.
I think he was the warden or something,
wasn't he? He was in a prison. Yes.
Yeah, yeah. Well, a warden,
a lot of times the warden will wear a jumpsuit
to kind of, you know, the warden will wear a jumpsuit to kind of you
know make everyone feel like we're equal yeah and it's he becomes like that's a guy i want to have
a beer with is that guy yeah like rolls up his sleeves um now we also have overheard sent into
us from people all over the map you want to send one in to us, you can send it in to spy at MaximumFun.org.
This first one comes from Liam in Newcastle, England.
Oh, home of Mr. Bean.
Home of Mr. Bean.
I was in a Sainsbury's.
That's how you know this is authentic.
I was in a Sainsbury's
with my fiancé
in the run-up to Christmas when I overheard
an older gentleman exasperatedly say
to his wife,
we're going to need a door flap for the squirrel
as well as a kill
cage.
Wow. Yeah, I don't know what
that means. Why would they
have a door for the squirrel?
Like a dog door so it can come in
and then they kill it?
At our old house, we had a roof that was infested with squirrels and they made a, the, the, what's it called?
The exterminator was like, we just put a, like a flap on the outside where the squirrel can get out but can't get back in.
We're like, we figured out the hole that the squirrel was getting in.
Oh, maybe that's what this is.
we're like we figured out the hole that the squirrel was getting in oh maybe that's what this is seal it up but why are they selling that at sainsbury's next to like the toffee fay
next to the double decker chocolate bars it's not toffee fay i don't know i always thought
it was toffee fay i bought some the other day. Did you? You had some Toffifee? How was it?
Toffifee?
It's definitely a distant third to Ferrero Rocher's and Turtles.
Yes.
Yeah.
It's a consolation prize getting a Toffifee.
Toffifee.
No way to know.
It's no Toblerone.
Yes, no Toblerone.
I got Omicron from a Toblerone.
I'm a French rapper and I'm here to say.
It's something, something Lumiere.
Okay, go ahead.
Here we go.
This one comes from Julie from Woodbridge, Virginia.
I overheard my two sons having this conversation.
My nine-year-old asked the classic question,
would you rather kill someone and get $5 or save someone and get $5?
Classic.
Yeah, the classic conundrum.
You give it the same value?
Yeah, $5 for killing a person or five for saving the person
and my five-year-old immediately answered get five dollars yeah yeah so that was the headline
you choose what i do yeah yeah i want to get five dollars so yeah it's up to you
you push this button and someone in the world will get saved or killed but you get five dollars push um yeah it's the uh fuck marry
kill of the the kids set who would you rather would you kill or save is a better would you
would you rather like would you rather kill someone and get a million dollars or save someone's life
and get five dollars well we all know the answer to that
question uh i need more than five dollars to retire so would you rather kill someone and get
a million dollars and your name in the paper oh that's pretty good that's the person that killed
someone yeah but like everyone's cool with it.
Or save someone and get one of those
decorative bears from around the city.
Yes. I would do that one.
I don't know where I would put it, but
I'd get rid of my couch
and just put it in the main area.
You'd put it inside. You wouldn't put it outside.
I don't have anywhere to put it outside.
You'd put it in your apartment lawn. Nah, that's true. I think't put it outside. I don't have anywhere to put it outside. You put it in your apartment lawn.
Nah, that's true. I think people would love it.
You know what?
I'm going to do it. I'm going to steal one of the ones
from the library, bring it home,
put it on my apartment lawn,
and leave a trail
of evidence so they find me.
Bare chunks the whole way.
This last one comes from Kat S. from
Ann Arbor, Michigan
I was at a restaurant getting takeout when I overheard a woman
talking from one of the booths
she was looking over the menu and exclaimed
the mac and cheese has 8 cheeses
I don't think I even know 8 cheeses
there's Munster
American
uh Parmesan
then ran out of cheeses to name.
Not even cheddar. Couldn't land the cheddar.
You say American, you don't say Swiss?
We could just go through country.
It's funny they start with Munster, too.
That's a scary one.
Well, they were watching an episode of The Addams Family.
Oh, I see.
Do you ever watch The Munsters or Adam's Family, Garon?
The Munsters was the crack of the Adam's Family.
Yeah, that's true.
The GoBots.
That's true.
I love the Munsters.
Yeah, me too.
Eddie Munster, Grandpa.
I haven't watched either of them.
My first introduction to the Adam's family was through Raul Julia.
Yes.
Rest in peace.
Yeah, that's right.
Angelica Houston.
Uh-huh.
Young Christina Ricci.
Right before he did Street Fighter, his last and final movie, M. Bison, right?
Oh, really?
Raul Julia as M. Bison.
His swan song. That was his last movie.
Huh.
Well, if you're going to go out on a movie,
make it Street Fighter.
Or Mortal Kombat.
These are two movies. Or Myrtle Kombat.
Myrtle's Kombat.
Or Myrtle Kombat.
Myrtle Kombat.
You're fighting over
Roche or
Boss of Turtles.
The last bonbon.
In addition to overheards
that are written, and we also accept your phone
calls if you want to call us. The phone number is
1-844-779-7631.
That's one. Ugh.
SpyPod 1, like these
people have. Hey, Dave and Graham,
it's Corey from West Kelowna with an
overheard. My wife and I were
waiting in line to pay for our stuff at the department store,
and there's this little girl that was at one of the checkouts.
She's probably five years old, and she's just spinning around,
and she's singing along to the Christmas music that's playing.
And then at one point, she just stops, and she kind of looks around,
and then she says to her mom, Mommy, everybody's looking at me.
And then this woman walks by. She just finished paying for her stuff, Mommy, everybody's looking at me. And then this woman walks by.
She just finished paying for her stuff.
And as she's walking by, she leans down to the little girl.
And she says, That's because you're so pretty.
And so she keeps walking.
And then the little girl says to her mom, Mommy, I think this woman wants to take me.
Thanks, guys.
Well, aren't you pretty?
Yeah.
Who, me?
Mom, help.
Yeah, this is ladies with a hand that rocks the cradle.
She's going to hand the rock the cradle.
She's Ernie Hudsonutzing me or no i
guess being ernie hudson is being the good guy anyway is our kids still really scared of
kidnappers like i was when i was a kid yeah i don't know our kids never are away from us
long enough oh yeah i guess we were free free range when we were kids like my kids school they like
wait for the parents to show up before
they let the kids leave really
when I was a kid you just like
yeah peaced out
I'm going I'm taking the bus or maybe I'm
just gonna walk home and
yeah use my bus for to buy chips
oh yeah childhood can't be Yeah. That used my buzz for it to bite chips.
Oh yeah.
Childhood.
Can't beat it. Yeah.
Well,
and if you can't beat it,
join it.
That's right.
And next,
a phone call.
Hey,
Dave and Graham.
Uh,
I was debating calling this in because it's an overdreamt,
but then this week's episode was very dreams heavy.
So I figured I'd share that.
Uh,
a couple of weeks ago,
I had a dream that I'd become the third host of Stop Podcasting Yourself.
And I was so excited and we're having such a good time.
And then at the end of my first episode,
you revealed to me that one of the rules of being a host of Stop Podcasting Yourself
is all the hosts have to sleep in a bed together.
And I was out after that so uh sweet dreams i guess you didn't want it bad enough yeah yeah we every year dave and i rent
a hotel room in montreal we stay in bed for many days we try to solve the vietnam war
and if you want to be with us you got got to do that, and you also have to
wear a pair of jeans no matter what for a whole
week. Yeah. Like the
Hells Angels.
Oh, sure.
Yeah, that's what it is.
Well, thanks for doing the show
with us. I wish we had told you that
before. Yeah, that's true. Now we have to
throw that episode out. Yeah,
and it's like uh we thought
you were cool but anyways it's fine anyway yeah fine well there's plenty other co-hosts out there
who want to sleep in the same bed with us and by the way we're not fucking yeah no we're not
kelly ripa did it in her early days we used to have her wake up in regis's bed
every morning she'd wake up and scream and she'd be like
oh wait you're not a decapitated horse my bad all right here's your final phone call hi dave
graham and potential guests uh this is matt from tex Texas calling in with an overseen.
I was just shopping at the grocery store,
and they were handing out free samples of coffee,
which one dad holding his baby thought it would be a good idea to get.
He very soon spilled this hot coffee all over his baby,
which is admittedly not funny. But to alleviate the burn,
his wife quickly
reached for their jug of creamer
from the basket. So, I thought
that was ironic and went together.
Well, off I go.
This poor baby getting a...
I spilled hot coffee on the baby. Oh, get creamer.
We were supposed to pick something up
anyways. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That,
there was somebody at the train station i don't know what the company
was but they were giving away chocolate bars just before december and you could you could take as
many as you wanted they these kids didn't care and they were all from the like aero coffee crisp
area of okay snacks anyways that's the last time I saw something cool being given away at the train station.
Sure.
It's no coffee. It's no baby scalded coffee.
Yeah. Well, a lot of it, you get
your, you start off
with your baby skin, and then you're
you slough it, and then
the skin fairy comes and
picks it up.
That would be cool if snakes had like a skin fairy.
Yeah, they do.
Yeah.
In snake lore.
We don't know
what they have.
Yeah.
That's true.
Put it under your
rock pillow
and they
bring you a
good night snake.
Well,
that brings us
to the end
of this year podcast.
Taz,
thank you so much
for being our guest.
Thanks for having me in my
own home yeah no fuss no muss you got to eat some people know that i'm not in the in your collective
bed right now oh yeah that's true the guests don't sleep in our bed yeah it's only the host oh it's
the host sorry yeah so what i was we're gonna have um rick the temp is gonna be sleeping in the bed with us this week
and yeah we're auditioning him to be the new host if if he doesn't make it then tanner zip
chan tanner zip chan somebody we're gonna look at absolutely uh rick campanelli makes it oh yeah
yeah you know uh they're all gonna be there all the greats was there a guy called Bradford maybe oh all the much music hosts
yeah Erica M
definitely
I'm more a PJ guy myself
oh fair enough yeah
Taz
if you
what do you want to plug
you've got the Sunday service every week
in person,
but maybe online for the next while.
Yeah.
Right now we're doing a,
we're doing online.
You can go to our YouTube channel.
We leave the shows up so you can watch them,
but also you can watch it live.
And that's eight o'clock,
8 PM Pacific standard time.
Every Sunday on our YouTube,
where do people go?
Where do they find this?
Our YouTube channel channel do you just
type in youtube sunday service and i think so i think yeah yeah but put improv in there and you
you'll get out there just yeah just google it sunday service improv on instagram and then go
to our link tree how about that there you go that's perfect you went to uh. You went to online when the pandemic started,
and then you went back to live shows.
How long was that happening before we shut her down again?
Two months?
Three months?
We did like three months of live shows.
Nice.
Nice.
It was just enough to get a taste and go, oh, yeah.
And then we're back, and I'm like, oh, yeah. We also did promise that we would keep doing online shows and we are so
hard to organize if it's not a Sunday that we never did.
So we kind of sheepishly like,
well,
we're back just for the people who we promise.
So it is nice to see the people from other cities and stuff that can't come
to the live show.
Yeah.
From Olympia,
Washington, where Macklemore From Olympia, Washington,
where Macklemore went to college,
uh,
to Washington DC,
where Macklemore does a lot of his legislating.
Yeah,
that's right.
Uh,
sponsor the,
um,
uh,
what was another one of songs?
Shit.
Uh,
I'm losing it.
Uh,
we hold it.
The ceiling can't hold us.
That one.
That,
that's what I was trying to think of
but I don't know what it's called
the pirate ship one
well thank you so much for being our guest Taz
this was a treat
and Dave thank you for being
on the podcast as well
thank you all of you people
out there listening
we thoroughly enjoy having you listen
and if you like it
why not write an Apple review
or tell your friend that you like it
or whatever you want to do
and come on back next week
for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself MaximumFun.org
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