Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 723 - Adam Christie

Episode Date: January 25, 2022

Comedian Adam Christie returns to talk Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Wordle, and the Vancouver barge.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 723 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark. With me as always is a man who loves a pork bun, Mr. Dave Shumka. Yeah, I saw Graham today and I was on my way to get pork buns at the bakery, but you know what? They were closed. What did you end up having?

Grilled cheese at home. That's delicious. That's perfect. Hard end up having grilled cheese at home that's delicious that's perfect hard to approve on grilled cheese i've been getting i've been having a lot of grilled cheeses lately the secret for me is uh low heat low heat you put something over top of it like a pot lid nope i do that it's it's a game changer yeah okay i'll try that what what's the what game is being changed it just uh it just cooks it like perfectly throughout because you know like you flip over one side it's just it's just a better it's just a better grilled cheese i don't know how to describe

it i've been um low heat has prevented me from uh burning it yes and so i go low heat what i'll do is i'll i'll butter up the first piece of bread, slap that on there. Yeah. Then she put the cheese on. I don't like assemble it until I assemble it in the pan. Right. So that's a hot tip. Someone told me like, oh, I saw this.

Have you seen the Jon Favreau movie Chef? He makes this grilled cheese in this movie and it makes you want to have a grilled cheese and i was like i already want to have a grilled cheese and i don't want to have to look at john fabbro but he's so money yeah he's so money uh our guest today also so money a return guest here to the podcast very funny comedian adam christie is our guest hi guys hello oh it's good to be here it's good to be here isn't it yeah yeah adam christie the last guest to ever be here yeah yeah he was the last our last live guest in we recorded it in march of 2020 released in apr of 2020, and then radio silence. Yeah.

In this room. I remember, I was going to bring this up. I remember because it was the first week of COVID. It was like day two of COVID. It was like frosh week of COVID. Yeah. Yeah. We were meeting all our dorm mates, and I had a few crushes, and none of them worked out.

We were listening to Home for a Rest by spirit of the west yeah girl talk was the band and that was cool when you used to be able to steal music that was awesome um but i remember it was like day two it was like march 13th i remember doing the podcast i remember i was so scared of covid i remember at one point at the end of the podcast i gleeked i that's right you gleeked i spit everywhere and i had to be like dave i just spit i just spit all over you're gonna you're gonna want to like wipe all of this down i remember the entire week i was like i killed dave i killed dave in his i definitely it was very, I remember that Gleek, it was Gleek Week here on Spotify. Clinique presents Gleek Week. And I remember being, you were very apologetic and I was like, it's fine. But I was also like, but I acknowledge it's not fine.

Yes, I'm fine. I take it very seriously, but I know you're not gleeking. You're not, you know, you didn't come here to gleek. No. And I remember I told my girlfriend, I was like, it went pretty good, but I think I gleeked all over Dave's stuff. He's put bleach all over it. It's fine.

I have absolutely not. No one's come in here since. I don't wipe down anything. When we go back to recording in person there will be it'll be like the mummy like you'll be blowing dust off everything yeah you'll also enter the room by you'll turn into sand and go through the keyhole just like the mummy mummy style that was the last for months. That was your house was the last house I was in other than my house. And also, Graham, your show, Laugh Gallery, was the last show I did for like a year. Yeah. Wow.

It's because the following week was I canceled the show and it's never been back. And now COVID is going to be over in like two days and it's going to be full circle. Yeah. So we're having you. You're kind of bookending COVID for us. do we want to get to know us yes please get to know us adam so you were here two years ago we talked zoinked we talked to gleeks what's happened since yeah fill us in all the way from then to now. Got a cat.

Oh, nice. Oh, fun, fun, fun. What do we talk? What kind of color cat are we talking?

This color? It's a tabby, regular tabby. Nice. You've seen one. You've seen them all. Tabby. Yeah.

And this cat, I love this cat. This, it, this, this cat loves to have diarrhea loves diarrhea this dog loves diarrhea this and doctors hate him but this cat only does diarrhea that's the thing i don't know if that's a feature and

right in cats that you can pick but we got one that only does diarrhea. We had our old dog was like this cat. And we used to joke that he was like a soft serve machine. Well, that's even worse because you got to deal with that on other things, right? Like you got to pick up diarrhea. No, you just leave it there. It just seeps into the ground and then you're fine. It depends on where you are like if you're uh you know if you're taking them in the woods or you can just leave that i'm just gonna drive to the woods you know one one in every 100 walks we take to the woods

but like you know if it's if it's uh you're not scraping it off the pavement so like you know super rainy day you leave the last bit also you're probably like you watch a guy have a dog with diarrhea on like a pavement you're like oh i feel for this guy it's like you you let it's like what is this guy gonna do like pour water on the pavement but they don't know that you you know it's gonna be diarrhea so it is your fault yeah was it always diarrhea every time you guys left the house uh boy there were he had a a real uh complicated stomach yeah and there some days uh you know we would change the diet in a way that worked. And then the stomach would be like, ah, you shouldn't have fed me an enchilada. You this diet you thought was working.

Nope. I want to have diarrhea. So you got a cat. What's the cat's name? Its name is Boots. Boots. Nice. It is a older cat. It is my it's my girlfriend a cat. What's the cat's name? Its name is Boots. Boots. Nice. It is a older cat.

It is my girl. It's my girlfriend's cat. So she, my girlfriend is from Newfoundland and this cat is also. That's how my dad, you sounded like my cat. But my, she's had this cat for 12 years, but it's been in Newfoundland because it lives. Her mother has a, you know, a big house in Newfoundland. We have a smaller place. How does it and how does it like the smaller place loves it yeah it's lots of attention lots of pets um 12 years old that's that's a that's a mature cat beautiful cat though

beautiful fur everything about this car except for the stomach car everything about it wait a minute did you did you buy a car or did you buy a cat i got a cat i didn't know i got a car it's a car it's a prius right and the car has diarrhea and that's so that it's all makes still the same story it's a honda diarrhea 12 years old from Newfoundland Boy this sounds like Kim Stockwood all over again I don't know what that means She's a singer she's from Newfoundland

She had a song called 12 years old It's fucking Perfect You know that song It's like you jerk You jerk That's Kim Stockwood. She also had a song called 12 Years Old.

12 Years Old. I don't know. Have you, during all this, have you stayed in Toronto, or did you hunker down somewhere else? Me and my girlfriend took a trip across. Well, I saw you, Grandma, because my girlfriend had to work in Vancouver, and we were so scared of COVID. It was like month two that we drove across the country.

That's right. And we were in Vancouver for a little bit. And then, yeah, mostly here. We started camping, which is nice. Okay. On the way home? Yeah, on the way to Vancouver, we were camping and staying in hotels. We did about half and half.

Okay. Camping hotels. Camping rocks, you guys. There's no jokes about camping and staying in hotels. We did about half and a half. Okay. Camping hotels. Camping rocks, you guys. There's no jokes about camping. It just rocks. What? Tell... Dave doesn't go camping because... As my... My wife grew up camping

and she was talking to my mother once about how Dave doesn't... Dave never seems to want to camp. And my mother said, Oh, Abby, shumkas don't camp. Which, by the way, my mom camps all the time. She goes on like biking trips and like rafting trips. Also, Dave, we've seen your lower back tattoo. We've all seen shumkas don't camp.

We all know the catchphrase of your family. An RV with a circle of circle yeah it's a coat of arms it's a huge tattoo um what style of camp are you just going out in the woods are you going to a camping spot where would you go camping spot tent you know that kind of thing tent blow up bed tent blow up bed my girlfriend got uh food poisoning in the woods camping for five days she had food poisoning for a whole day not like a certain tabby i know your poor girlfriend yes i don't know i cook for my girlfriend i cook for my cat whatever same result put a chicken breast on the stove

flip it after a minute it's done off i forgot to use a pan i just put it right on the stove now do you uh do you cook stuff by campfire do you have a little propane unit what are you doing food wise yeah we got we got we got a grill we got a you know a tiny grill we got a uh we got i mean we're fancy campers we got a grill we got a we got a one of those yeah what you said the thing but you know a stove that you can take on the road a road stove road stove yeah absolutely coleman i don't know what brand i wouldn't say i'm confident in knowing the brand of road stove, but, um, I do know that we do. We're cooking pasta out there.

It's great. Do you, are you scared at any point when you're out there? Can we, cause I feel there's like a fear factor, Joe Rogan, copyright. Yep.

Copyright. Um, I would say I'm scared all the time. So yes. Oh, okay. So yeah, this just fits right in with the regular schedule. Yeah. You're cooking pasta on the thing on the road stove. all the time so yes okay so yeah this just fits right in with the regular schedule yeah you're

cooking pasta on the thing on the road stove here's a question and i'm legitimately curious about this could you could you cook pasta with room temperature water like if you just left pasta and water long enough would it soften up it would probably soften up but then it would like keep like one of those dinosaurs like capsules that you put in water would just keep expanding and expanding oh yeah yeah i'm gonna say this and i've never been more confident in something in my life i'm gonna say no that's impossible okay all right if you just put some pasta in some water and let it sit yeah yeah i don't know i feel like it's maybe uh that's how i'm gonna spend the apocalypse just

like wedding pasta wedding pasta there's other food you can eat you know what hey uh here's my unpopular food opinion okay you ready yep you know when you uh have spaghetti and you don't stir it very well and you get a big like thick cable of spaghetti you like that i like that it likes it i don't hate it yeah no i don't hate either just sometimes it surprises you when you're like zipping a noodle into your mouth and then it's got a like a plug on the end of it yeah also there is pasta that has that consistency that is normal that has that consistency that is right normal but like the size is it thick and and like i guess not it's that you're talking about like a twizzler pull and peel i'm talking like a twizzler pull yeah yeah wait would you eat a twizzler pull and peel full a full pull and peel a full and peel um

yeah without peeling you mean yeah just eat it right through just chomp it chomp i mean yeah i would i don't have time for that i don't but i don't i think i don't like the taste of twizzler pull and peels i think they're a different taste than regular twizzler you are correct about that yeah so like they come in like the the fun size halloween packs and i'll eat twizzlers all day long i'll eat the nibs but the pulling peels that's a hard sell if uh if i get a pack of twizzlers they're making it halfway through a movie and then man is my stomach upset because it's whatever chemicals together you know to make it shaped like it is it's probably like the same not far off of what a gi joe is made of it's also pretty light like it you can eat that many twizzlers yeah because of the whole

right yeah i mean it's not it's best to enjoy junk food without thinking about it or reading about it but do you like your have you ever left your twizzlers out so they get a little hard oh yeah yeah i've done that turn them into straws a lot of fun for everybody oh sure yeah you ever put just a bunch of twizzlers in some room temperature water just to see what happens and you know what happens turns into pasta perfect penne yeah it's just twizzlers that's a lot of people don't know pasta is just twizzlers it's underdone uh yeah i uh i was watching something years ago. I think I've talked about it on the podcast where they were giving people of different cultures, food from junk food from that culture and seeing how they reacted to it.

And there was a couple of kids, I believe from Korea that they gave Twizzlers to, and they, they didn't understand how it was food. They like, they taste it as like, we taste something, but we don't understand.

This is something that you would chew on. And I get it, you know? Yeah. I've heard the term licorice whip. What does that mean? Isn't that an American thing? A licorice whip? I don't know.

Yeah. It's a very long, it's like a bunch of Twizzler in one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Could you, like, I feel like a regular Twizzler, you could whip someone pretty. Yeah. Yeah. Could you like, I feel like a regular Twizzler,

you could whip someone pretty good. You could like leave marks on their arm. Yeah. Yeah. I think in like the 1700s, it used to be like a method of torture. Yeah. It's what Twizzlers were originally was before they were 10.

Yeah. Before it was, yeah. They stole it from China and brought it to Italy. Sure. Marco Polo. Yeah. marco polo and they'd hit people with it that's where we get licorice because you give lickings right that's why it's called yeah that's where that comes from exactly oh yeah yeah um what's that we all went to mcmaster university yeah that's where we met that's where we all met yeah yeah That's where we learned the history of the... Boy, I guess the course I took was with Professor Wonka.

It was... Introduction to candy. Yeah. But now, Wonka's like a weird alt-right guy now. I think he just got stripped of his professorship, right? Well, he's sort of... Boy, he really adheres to like gender roles he thinks that boys should go into a chocolate river and girls should get turned into a big blueberry balloon have you guys read that article about it's an i can't remember where it is but it's the oral history of the chocolate river scene

yes it's i read the oral history of the chocolate river scene yes it's the anal history it turns out it leads back to your cat my god um yes and the fact that it was uh actual chocolate for a while well i think also they were one of the kids was like we would see like crew guys like pour their coffee in there it's like it's like where a kid has to go eventually yeah but just a kid just a kid yeah like i heard that originally it had it had like chocolate in it and then it went rancid because you can't just keep like hot chocolate going or room temperature and it uh so it went it went rancid after about three yeah it barely stunk and they were like it was ice cold and also because they because it was an

illusion there was only one part there was like a like um like a divot in it where the kid had to fall out but the divot was only like you know the size of a table it was like a very small divot so like this kid could have been very hurt by falling into the wood that was surrounding the yeah yeah yeah but he wasn't but he wasn't nope and now he's one of the biggest stars in hollywood today yeah gloop gloop uh he says his own uh fashion line of beauty products by gloop do you think uh you know the scene where they go through the tunnel and it's like it starts getting crazy you guys know i have not seen this movie i've only seen the johnny depp version 10 times it's the superior version everybody says so

but there's like this crazy scene in it where they go on a boat down the chocolate river it's all dark and then all these things start happening in the background it's like like you see like a dog's body decompose and there's like all this crazy things that are happening and you kind of like how did this scene sneak into this kid's movie yeah how did it get past all the other kid murdering scenes i like the violent violet beauregard goes and turns into a blueberry his solution is that they're gonna juice her they're gonna get her in a room and juicer it's different in the johnny depp version wait is it more violent or less violent it's i think that there's a scene at the end where

all the kids walk away so they wait in the original all the kids is it meant to they died yeah i think it's left to your imagination I imagine they're dead. Okay. That one kid died falling onto a table underneath the chocolate river. He didn't even have a candy-related death. Yeah, Randy Macho Man Savage threw him through a table. Here's a question that I've always wondered. What do they say? You know at the end of a movie when they, no animals were harmed during the filming of this.

Right. What did they say? If they were, Oh, that, that it just, uh, then they just say soundtrack available on it. So are we to assume any movie that you see that doesn't have with an animal in it,

that at the end does not have that you're like this animal some animals got hurt on yeah i isn't it like a thing because they have to have animal handlers like who are like certified unless alec baldwin is the producer no one's certified oh jesus good god uh and then but i think it's some kind of like you know union thing of like right but the animals must get hurt in modern movies like people get hurt on modern movies so you got to have an animal getting hurt yeah once in a while yeah i mean i wonder if you have to retract that statement if you or you have to say like at the end it's like two animals got fucked up in this guess which ones watch it again and guess which ones that's how they get double the profits also like not even worms got hurt you were walking on ground the whole time but they do

like i know in certain movies they have like cockroaches and every cockroach is accounted for and there's like a trainer that knows how to make the move and jump out of a wall thing or whatever they do he doesn't know how to do that joe's apartment so you know how to uh you know how to make these cockroaches move yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah keep walking away from me i meant for him to do that everything you see a cockroach do i'm making it do it don't worry he's just got a dentist yeah i've been spraying myself with pheromones all night long um yeah the uh um the other thing in that that scene the candy scene is a lot of the things are at a candy scene there's the one the one candy scene in this movie you know what i'm talking about i haven't seen it that's true you've only seen the johnny depp i've seen the meme but like a lot of stuff was edible in there there was like stuff that you could actually

like pull off the trees or like dip your hand into like the mushroom goo and that was marshmallow so really yeah i don't know why i don't know why they did that maybe because they just they could you know mushroom goo was marshmallow? So it was like, you know, like a toadstool mushroom? And like one of the white spots, you put your hand in it, just like this goo came out. And it was like, apparently that was marshmallow fluff. So, yeah.

So, I mean, the kids probably were jacked up the whole time on sugar, river water and such. But, Dave, would you ever watch the original with your kids yeah i guess so i don't you want to watch it now for the rest of the pod sure uh the yeah my kids like the johnny depp one is on netflix so my kids watched it a lot or like the first half hour of it right when your kids see something that is old are they less into it look uh yeah it's it's a hard sell like if they see say they see uh you know star wars the new one with kylo ren and whatnot they see that that looks like a movie that's made today in their in their age and then you try to show them like a new hope are they like this is old what is this yeah uh yeah

i guess so but like surprisingly they loved mr bean when i was i started showing them mr bean and that looked old when it was new like that looked like it was from the early 70s every british thing that was video really felt like weird like it was shot through like a gray window or something yeah because you'd be able to identify it like within a second of looking at it you'd be like of course the people are so ugly hey uh you know there's some pretty hot british people those spice girls no they're hot people but they just don't make them stars they put all their hot people on the you know on the 20 pound bill yeah the queen that's how you're royalist the hot the hottest woman in the country is the queen yeah that's how they do it yeah no they have all those like page six girls and uh

oh yeah or whatever and like uh you know is that still a thing can you see a topless woman and um you know in a magazine in a newspaper i think probably i remember i know uh like being in europe like all over europe it's just like walking through the airport it's like hey uh pair of boobs on the cover of the newspaper in Frankfurt. This is their economist over there. Terrorist blows up bus of tourists. Also, look at these fellas. Check this shit out.

Although I haven't been through an airport in a number of years i don't know if germany got me too yet it's asking for it i can tell you that um did you have any magazine subscriptions when you were growing up oh yeah i'd mad i'd cracked i had sports illustrated holy shit um yeah those probably just those three though the big three the big three did mad magazine did it always come in a brown paper wrapper i feel like my friend had that i don't think so i think it came just um regular because i remember it like him getting it and on the outside it said not porno definitely not porn not poor maybe that was a special uh edition might have been a very good joke you know i do remember though i think

someone in my family or somebody brought me somebody went to europe and brought me a home like a bunch of sexy newspapers i guess regular newspapers from england but they'd be like check out the page whatever and i'd be like whoa that's cool and that's why i'm that's why i'm the horniest guy you've ever seen now it's not young um but i can't remember who i don't want to put this on a family member but it could have been like an aunt or something being like check this out while you're at it check these out because i feel like growing up uh the calgary there was the calgary herald which was the respectable newspaper in the calgary sun and the calgary sun was the one that had the sunshine girl yeah i always thought that it was even as a kid i was like this doesn't this doesn't mesh up in my head, this sexy woman and newspapers. Also, presumably the Herald maybe had a crossword

and then maybe the Sun probably had a word search. A jumble. My family got the Sun. It was flipped in Vancouver. The Sun was the respectable one in Vancouver. And the province, well, it was the tabloid. But I preferred the province because it had Garfield. And he was naked. Over in England, it's just Garfield, but with like big boobs. Garfield shows hole in England.

You guys gotta go to England shows hole just one just the Chloe I just got back from England did you oh yeah you don't even have to finish that sentence yeah it's like uh you know you go to amsterdam oh i know what you did over there you went to england oh yeah go to any newsstands that's got to be out there somewhere on the internet right oh yeah shows whole yeah i mean all cats show whole whether you want to that's true there was never yeah you never saw that because his tail was always covering his butt but well i think i read a few i read recently

humans are the i mean we're the only thing that's got to wipe the butt really yeah well what else would yeah that's true the fucking gorillas don't give a shit man they don't live they don't have a sofa to watch out for oh no they're hoarding toilet paper the gorillas have been hoarding toilet paper that's what they built they built a toilet out of sticks we're in big trouble now i'm sorry i'm i feel like i'm great i'm really bringing the poo to this episode oh it's okay last week was very um semen retention okay great great um because i also this is all uh uh this is all foreshadowing because my herd thing is also poo nice good good good yeah stay on foreshadowing because i can tell my cat's cooking up a real gurgler

oh man two back-to-back things that are i've never heard before and are hilarious real gurgler. Real Gurgler? Yeah, Real Gurgler. Oh, man. Adam, growing up, were you, do you have any siblings or anything like that?

Yeah, I have one brother. One brother, older, younger? Younger. Get along with him? Oh,

yeah, I love this guy. Yeah, that's good. Fan of the show. My brother listens to the pod. Give him a shout out. Yeah,

shout out to my brother, to the pod. Give him a shout out. Yeah. Shout out to my brother. Also named Adam. Weird. My parents really stepped in it with that. He keeps opening my mail. You know what name I like? Adam. Yeah, that is a good name.

I like our one son's name. Let's go again. it george foreman who had like a bunch of kids named george george georgina i can't think of any more poor hey he did the jungle poor hey jiggy g-man wait do you do you guys do you guys currently have pets are there pets in your household dave i have a dog a dog right and graham pet less can't have one in this building although i do believe that somebody in here has a cat i think but also you're mad allergic yes yeah but i you know someday if i live in a place that has you know uh more windows and things that i can open up then

i might get a dog at some point yeah oh yeah yeah um but like what would you name the dog adam it's just a nice name i just like it can't argue after our number one listener your brother i don't know i don't know what i would name a dog it's kind of a lot of responsibility and you want to you want to pick out a fun name something that's fun to say but also like i understand you're supposed to do ones that have two syllables as opposed to just a one syllable name so they can recognize it better yes rickind me, did you say the name of your cat? Boots. One syllable.

Boots. Yeah, well. And this cat doesn't listen to anything I have to say. You don't need to communicate with a cat. Yeah. It's true. They are kind of, you can just kind of take, like, if you went away for a week, you'd have to get a cat sitter.

But if you went away for a day, no problem, right? Oh, yeah. We're going, I mean, we go nowhere, but we will. I promise that. Where are you going to go? There we will i promise that where's anything i promise on this podcast well i was supposed to go to mexico city in two day or in um in two weeks but we i think we're canceling it because why yeah because of the omicron variant oh yeah of course um but sneaky omicron variant yep yep um i might get a cabin instead or something go away cabin cabin of the woods

go somewhere yeah have you ever stayed in a cabin for like a couple of days yeah yeah of course some people have never been up to a cabin before what does that mean well like some people maybe go for one night on the way somewhere and also like some people have never been in a cabin i know quite a few people i've never been but what it consists of like what people consider a cabin varies that's true wildly from like a shed to a log mansion that's true are you gonna stay in a log mansion yeah i'm more gonna stay at a log mansion this is actually the places we're looking at more log mansion that sheds i will say yeah these places have heating they have a stove you know you know i'm talking about yeah yeah yeah oh this guy loves a stove what are you gonna do you know what hot hot pasta you know what i'm gonna i'm looking this up right now this pasta thing is driving me insane if you put pasta this guy is googling a

full sentence is uh is this sn? Are you going into Snopes? What happened? Well, let's see where this is taking. We might go straight to Snopes. This might be the first thing that comes up. I was going to google it, too. Room temperature water. I'm just going to go dot, dot, dot.

What happens? Dry spaghetti rehydrates in about 10 minutes in boiling water and around two hours in room temperature water. Holy shit. This is from food science at exploratorium.edu. Oh, don't trust that exploratorium. That's where I went to college. I was on the football team.

Wow. It was my version of Willy Wonka's factory, the exploratorium. You're allowed to touch everything, but... Some things you didn't want to, but you're pushed into it. And it's just pasta. So you could save... You could just put the pasta, go out, do some errands,

come back, and it would be ready to go, more or less? Yeah, like a slow cooker. Yeah. Slow cooked pasta. I just got pwned, fellas. Pwned. Boy boy if i put a chicken carcass in room temperature water how long will it take me to get broth and then can i boy if i add room temperature brown rice now what you want to do to cook the chicken is you want to grate it on the cheese grater because that helps soak in the water as opposed to just the carcass.

So, you know, cheese grate all the chicken and then, yeah, you know, put whatever brown rice in a bucket, swing it around over your head. Sure. If anything retains water, is cooked yeah i guess that's true thank you yeah i'm retaining a bit of water myself yeah me too time of the month pee time dave only pees once a month it's a thing he won't shut up about yeah i'm like a camel that's the time you're just sweating it out uh-huh yeah usually and i usually pee in a film set chocolate river what's the big deal no one's going in it right every set has a chocolate river it's just tradition at this point

what's the big deal no one's going in it right. I know. I've only read this far in the script, but no one's going into the chocolate river. The kid who goes in the chocolate river, he goes up a tube and then disappears, right? Yes. He walks out at the end, though.

Yeah. The last scene. Yeah, he gets sucked up in a hose and then he i don't remember where he says that he goes something like he's they're gonna cook him like hot chocolate something like that he says something to that effect but yeah i didn't think about it but you're right all the kids must die in that movie yeah the other kids just go that's how much kids love sweets is that you can see a peer of yours die and still you're like well i'm gonna follow this guy it's like squid game it's like squid game did you watch squid game saw it yeah yeah what they don't say in in charlie and chocolate factory is that all those kids have terrible debt that's right yeah they're trying to

get out of their candy debt. Although I think probably Charlie Bucket's family seems like they're drowning in debt. Yeah. No, I feel like it's the kind of thing where, like, if you're super rich, you can get, like, millions of dollars in debt. But if you're super poor, they don't want to lend you anything. That's true. Oh, man.

I want to lend some money to a rich guy because I feel like he's going to know what to do with it with it spends my life savings and prostitutes the first night your entire life savings um uh yeah like i don't i don't know what the like upper upper upper upper echelon of people like aside from cars and houses and that kind of stuff i don't know what they're buying well what do they buy with all that money or do you get sick of money or do you finance things or you collect debt buy your way into heaven is what i hear so yeah that's or you at least you at least need two gold coins for chair on the boat keeper that's right yeah yeah gotta have those coin eyes where do people go what do people go in ancient is that greece rome one of them the the river sticks over the river's grace what happens to

people if you don't have two bucks uh you can put a nickel on it, but they'll be in steerage. Yeah. If you haven't got a penny, a hay penny will do. And if you haven't got a hay penny, well, God bless you. Right. That's from Greek times. Yeah. Uh-huh.

Yeah. I don't know. You know, a lot of this stuff is just slapdash. The thing's stolen from here and this thing's stolen from here. Yeah. So you go over the River Styx and that takes you to hades or is there a good place to go as well i think that takes you to hades but i think hades is like more chill than our traditional hell well there's a guy like a three-headed dog that doesn't sound very chill well it sounds like three times the

kisses is what i think three times the diarrhea unfortunately he's also a three ass dog oh server is shows whole two are fine but one is just diarrhea oh god oh man I hope nobody's eating like a pea soup at home or something like that I'm pea souping my friend oh sorry I just stepped on dave saying poo soup more like it that's fine yeah um but no i don't know what people who have a lot of money

spend their money on right probably they probably get the better things than we do like right just the like they probably have better furniture than we do yeah that's right i never see their furniture but it's probably really nice they don't go to ikea they go across the street to mubler yeah they go to mubler they're always a mubler they're at leon's yeah their things don't break i'm sure they don't have like a crappy bookshelf like i have they probably have nice things yeah nice things and they get driven around which is nice not having to drive yeah they have people they have people do stuff people do like that's right yeah they have people they have people do stuff people do like that's right yeah they don't have to like do their own dishes yeah yeah yeah yeah

but they probably they might do you think like do you think celebrities who are down to earth who are also mega celebrities do you think they're really down to earth no you think like uh it's like yeah like someone like jennifer lawrence would have you believe that she's eating chips on the couch she's watching oh yeah dishes and whatever or do you think she's eating like you know uh gelatinous cubes every day and she's has a live-in chef and nanny and what he has all that stuff for sure because yeah even if you like if you were down to earth and you were like a celebrity and you did your own shopping you'd be hounded the entire time right yeah yeah they're they're they're like yeah i'm still friends with my old friends i mean they're all on my payroll now and if they step out of line then they're

dead yeah any celebrities are listening and are actually cool and they do their own stuff please contact is there a is there an email for the podcast that we can plug no we don't have one yet we don't have an email yet okay um yeah we do uh spy at maximumfund.org and okay the um we'd like to hear from all the rich people it goes on only like the only people who are rich and are celebrities who seem down to earth. Yeah, yeah. So who are we talking about? Emma Stone we're talking about. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, does Daniel Radcliffe, he seems down to earth. He seems like a fun guy. Yeah, Daniel Radcliffe.

He's not a superstar, though. He was in the Harry Potter movies. No, but I'm talking superstars like Katy Perry. Like, she's normal. She just hangs out with nude paddle boarding, Orlando Bloom. Wait, are they together?

Orlando Bloom? Yeah. Yeah. Oh my. And the picture has him like, you know, paddle boarding. You really get to see everything.

Really? Yeah. He's got a nice horn. This is, that's years ago. Yeah. Nice, he's got a nice horn. That's years ago, yeah. A nice horn. A beautiful horn. Beautiful horn. I don't know if I like horn. I prefer hog.

No, no, he's a lean and mean guy, so it's not a hog. Check out Orlando Bloom's hog. It just doesn't work. Yeah, no, he's a horn guy for sure do you guys ever when you are intimate I don't like where this is going

I never refer to mine as anything I never I don't mention it no? oh I talk I call mine Jeremy Jeremy? cause of Jeremy Renner cause he's so down to earth flipping houses, releasing music, driving a Jeep. Yeah, I call mine the candy stick.

I put on 50 Cent and then I let that play and then I point down at my groin when they say candy stick. Yeah. Graham also thinks the song is called Candy Stick. It's 50 Cent's Candy Stick from the Willy Wonka soundtrack

oh boy yeah yeah what other think about the coins on the eyes is there any other funeral thing that's like an odd thing that people do i can't think of anything off the top of my head but no for like for like money in the afterlife for something in the afterlife like

you wouldn't bury somebody with a sword or would you and then that person rules down there you know well i mean like a pharaoh they find pharaohs with all this kind of stuff the pharaohs you know they turn into sand go through the keyhole yes uh i want to be buried with like a nintendo switch just in case there's a line into heaven or something like i don't really want to talk to anybody or like some headphones maybe like just like you know what i want when i go to heaven put right on my face uh a fucking a fucking uh google pixel loaded with my favorite podcast nice nice and if you're listening to this you you must love podcasts and i would just love to be up up there in heaven listening to pot you think people say that when someone regular dies like i bet he's up there listening to all his favorite podcasts that you've never even heard

when you get to heaven do they have like elvis and jimmy hendrix podcast who are your guys yeah i was like when in 50 years when all the famous podcasters die people will be like oh man he's just you know sarah koenig is up there jamming with you know karen kilgariff there has to be there has to be one of those you know those shirts where it's like you know elvis and jimmy hendrix and kirk cobain like all playing in the same band yeah there's gotta be one in 50 years of paul f tompkins up there in heaven back on Marin yeah he's gone to that great podcast

studio in the sky all my fave podcast guests all up there I also love that the thought is well Kurt Cobain played guitar and so does Jimi Hendrix so they'll get along pretty well I think well they were both left-handed

yeah that's true so there's two things they could bond over and uh they can play with the two right-handed beatles yes yeah uh who are george and john yeah the dead ones yeah yeah two of the beatles were left-handed yeah my god hmm look i know every celebrity handedness are you are you left-handed dave nope huh not like barack obama left-handed yeah what is anyone famous ambidextrous oh um uh al franken He could draw simultaneously. He could draw a map of America using two pieces of chalk at the same time. At the same time? Yeah.

Wow. And it's like his party trick kind of thing. That's when it's time to leave. Ah, Franken's doing it. Ah, he's getting out the two chalkboards. Just stay for one second. If you hate it, you can leave. Just let me do it.

Wait till I get to Florida. You're going to be like, you can't do it. But I can. I can. Here's what I was thinking about today. Remember at the beginning of the pandemic, speaking of what we were talking about an hour ago. Remember when they used to say that people were naturally immune to the COVID? Remember when they were like covid's here but

it's like something like 12 of people won't get it because they're just immune what happened to that they don't talk about that that they don't talk about that anymore yeah they don't did you have have either of you gotten it no no well then we're part of the 12 oh there you go i might i mean we might be part of the 12%. Cut to tomorrow. Riddled with COVID. Yeah. From the gleek on your desk. They got it from a Zoom.

Dave, what's going on with you, man? Well, I've been hanging out, hanging around. Yeah. Hanging tight or hanging loose? Hanging tough. Oh, hanging tough. Okay. Oh,, hanging around. Yeah. Hanging tight or hanging loose? Hanging tough. Oh, hanging tough. Okay. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Popular third option. And then, so that's one thing. I've been working. Does that count as something? Yeah. That's like, I have a to-do list every day. Hang tough. Done.

Dave, are you still playing hockey? Yeah. Hockey started back up. How's that going? Does it keep your stats? I keep my own stats. In your head? Yeah, because the hockey league I was in before was a league with teams.

And this is kind of a pickup situation. You keep your stats in pickup? I know how many goals I've scored. Do you tell people afterwards? I scored one of those goals. I scored two goals tonight. I did score. There was one game I played.

I think it was the last one before Christmas. And I scored twice and no one... The first time I scored that game, it was as my line mates were changing and they came on and I had just scored and we were going back to the center ice and they were like wait what did you score like what's happening why are we why is this face off here oh we scored now what is your when you do score what is your celebration i do the uh the dave tiger williams riding the hockey stick like a pony. Nice. That's good.

Wow. Every time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you play any sport? Yeah, I play basketball. Oh, yeah? You're tall. And yeah, every time I score a basket, which is way more times,

I do the thing where I pick up the ball, but I drop it like it's hot. Nice. But it bounces up and you got to run away. Yeah, I go. And then I go, don't touch that ball, guys. it's hot nice but it bounces up and you gotta run away i gotta yeah i go and then i go don't touch that ball guys it's hot have you been able to play basketball during all this well yeah but then i i broke my arm oh no holy shit um me and uh comedian tom henry were playing pickup basketball i broke my damn arm and how did you do that what part of the arm um it's called the radial head which is cool because it sounds like radio yes it does that's right um which is what the doctor said yeah this is how you'll remember what you broke he said okay computer let's get a few things

straight and then we ranked we went amnes first. Not a lot of people say that. Is amnesiac first for him? For the doctor, yeah. Not me. Did the doctor say, oh, I think it's the Ben. Have you ever gotten an injury, Dave? Not once. Not in hockey? No, no broken bones or anything gram any broke uh i don't i don't play any sport so well you know you could break your someone could you know hit you with a crowbar for god's sake yeah yeah i broke i broke my wrist uh two years ago uh running and then i slipped on ice and uh yeah hurt myself pretty bad.

I don't know what is happening. What is happening? Dave is making, Dave is doing like a mime turn. See, I can hear you, but I can't hear Dave. Oh, Dave, are you? I thought Dave was doing like a Mr. Bean type. Yeah. Dave.

Hi, guys. When I asked Graham if he had ever broken anything though your movements dave i thought you were like don't talk about for the listener we just had a moment where i lost all my audio on the zoom and so i i had to like try to get it across visually that i can't hear you anymore and i was like but it seemed like i was like because you were waving your hands frantically and i took it as graham doesn't like to talk about the time he broke a bone that's right it messes with my whole mystique uh yeah so i did like a a little put my waved my hands up to let you know, I can't hear you anymore. And then to signal that I was leaving, I did the two little fingers walking away.

I have to leave and come back. I was so wondering what the hell you were doing. Oh, it's funny when there's not a universal sign for what you're trying to say. Oh, it's funny when there's not a universal sign for what you're trying to say. So, yeah, I've been hanging tough, been playing hockey. But I've been, so at Christmas, every year at Christmas, I do a puzzle. And I was doing a puzzle that I didn't like very much at my in-laws house over Christmasmas and uh it just the pieces were all the same shape and that killed me they were all the same shape really well they were all kind of like there were

no odd pieces like they were all either two in and two out this way or two in and two out that way and there was no much talking like like nothing to really separate them. Do those pieces all have different names? Like if it's I bet they do in nerd culture. Yeah. What? You know, the Marvel movies puzzles.

Strictly kind of a jock podcast. Yeah. But I I started this other puzzle when we got back from christmas and it's just uh lego men and women and people lego faces yeah and it's so it's there's 340 lego faces on this some have beards some have stubble some have glasses some have like a beauty mark or lipstick and uh long eyelashes they're they're all slightly different uh and i thought this will

be fun and a month later i'm still doing this puzzle how many pieces are we talking about a thousand a thousand three hundred and forty faces 20 by 17 where is it where is it it's on my puzzle board on the dining room table okay so this can be moved whenever it's time it can be it hasn't been though you guys just been chowing down in front of the tv yeah uh but we so i and it's very like normally a puzzle is like a few days and you get into a groove and you're like okay oh he did this patch and this piece has to go over here but all these it's all just like yellow heads yeah right so it's very hard to uh uh it's hard to like sometimes sometimes you're like, oh, this is definitely an eyebrow. Oops, upside down. It's a mouth. Now, how does your family feel about the real estate of the dining room being taken up by the puzzle? Has it come up?

I'll be honest. We don't ever eat at the dining room table. The kids think dining room is punishment. It should be noted that we don't have a dining room we have a we have a dinner table that we don't eat dinner on right uh but uh my kids have been because like after dinner i'm now just like go from dinner to the puzzle and the i i feel like i'm giving off a lot of weird dad energy where they're like don't disturb him now yeah don't disturb daddy while he stares at something he's we're not sure what it is we now he is like i've i bet i have 50 pieces left to put in but

it's not going because you get you find like okay, this guy's got an eye patch. You look at the box. Okay. There's four guys with eye patches. You've got to, it's got to be one of these guys. But now I'm just at the point where I'm just filling in the little, because four heads together, they leave a little gap in between them. Oh, I see. Like where they meet, there's like a little gap and those gaps are the same for

everyone like they do not differentiate so now i'm just like literally taking pieces it's no fun i'm taking pieces and just like rubbing like just just like running my finger over the puzzle being like okay there's needs a piece to go here but does this fit no okay turn it around no so it's like uh like somebody playing roulette or something like yeah come on come on yeah it's like someone joylessly pulling the slot machine do you think you'll be uh when you get older do you think you'll be a train dad do you think you'll be one of those dads with a room with a bunch of trains in it um boy that is that does that i feel like that is a i mean that's big boomer energy in the sense of like having a whole extra room for yeah yeah

that's true you're i mean you do have an extra room for strictly podcast true but that's my money maker baby well someday you you're gonna retire off all this podcasting money you're going to have an extra room I'm going to be podcasting until I die and the moment I die I'm going to podcast in heaven with the guys from yeah dude and when they die the newspaper says bye dude they send them off

do the newspapers do a funny button thing when people maybe that like new york post or something oh boy uh when you die when you die in the in like um in the toronto sun when you die they should post a nude photo of you yes in the spirit of the magazine yeah and if they don't have one they should mock one up they should definitely photoshop it like the owner of the cleveland indians in uh major league yes yes uh have you ever seen major league adam never in my life it's like the baseball have you seen charlie and the chocolate factory yeah it's like the baseball one of that okay okay okay uh but there's a there's an ongoing thing that it's the owner of the yeah

the owner wants to move them to florida and so they put up a poster of her and they get to move remove a sticky every day to see another part like she's every time they win they get to see they get to remove pictures it's like very posed what she's in like a swimsuit or something yeah right i mean it's all the way awful but uh you know that's uh that was the 80s man and presumably she gets to choose which part comes off no she's not involved she's not there she's like uh yeah she didn't do this as a motivator yeah no she's she wants to move the team and they if they win a certain amount of games then they get to keep the team in cleveland i mean and yeah that's that's probably the only awful thing in that movie oh wait there's a voodoo guy oh no and charlie sheen's in it so you know he's up to

his old tricks oh man uh so yeah i've been doing this puzzle it's uh it's all this is it's gonna be done this week i've got you know if i really sat down tonight i could do it uh save it savor it though the other thing i've oh i was just gonna say just back of what you were talking about i don't think there's ever been a tasteful voodoo guy right there's that's never been in movies yeah what about papa shango from wwe okay there's one tasteful but the wwd always does it do it right they always that's right what about live and let die there are all those i've never seen i've never seen that one oh well i'm uh can't be that untasteful okay yeah james bond is is much like yeah 70s james bond it. It holds up.

Yeah. Yeah. Still good. Yeah. The other thing that's going on, other than this puzzle, is I've been doing a smaller puzzle. Just to fill in the time between puzzles? A word puzzle that's got the internet by the balls. I'm talking about Wordle. Yeah. Yeah. You guys do Wordle? Wordle, everybody. Yeah. got the internet by the balls i'm talking about wordle yeah yeah you guys we're everybody

yeah i did it once and i was like i'm not interested in this going on and on like i don't want as soon as it was like you have to wait a day i'm out that's what i like about it it's like you do one wordle and uh it's not gonna define me Dave, I'm right there with you, brother. I'm a wordle-holic. Yeah? How long have you been on it? I think I'm on a 21 streak or something. Wow.

But I saw this. There's a wordle. There's a new one, but for swears. Yeah. Oh, that's nice. Loodle? Loodle, yes. Loodle.

I tried that, but it kept rejecting my words. And I was like, why? Because sometimes in Wordle, if you put in a word that's not a word, it'll say, no, you can't do this. But this would just shake and it's farty, not a word? Is that not lewd enough for you? Do I have to make it? What are you into, Loodle? Are you like a foot fetish you? Do I have to make it? What are you into, Loodle? Do I need, are you like a foot fetish guy?

Do I need to do? Strictly, that's a different one. That's Foodle. That's strictly foot stuff. What's your fastest, what's your record for number of guesses? Just three. I got two today. Oh, Robot oh robot robot that's a tough one two double letters always tough yeah i had a feeling though i i uh went with orate as my first word

oh yeah good one yeah i like orate i like irate and i like canoe oh see i'm a stale guy oh and i like uh another one someone told me ouija is a good one because it's like four vowels yeah graham is so uninterested and bored graham's frozen thought that he was frozen no he's not frozen i'm not frozen but i was bored he's doing the feet walking away thing he has to leave and rejo. I've never seen someone be so perfectly still in my life. Yeah, I was really mannequining out. You're also, I believe, are you chewing gum? Yeah. You stopped chewing gum for the entirety of the world conversation.

Yeah, because I don't have anything to contribute. Graham, you chew gum every day. Every day. And many, many pieces. Yeah, I'm like one of the kids in Charlie and the Chalk Factory. don't have anything to contribute i did one thing you chew gum every day every day and many many pieces yeah i'm like one of the kids in uh charlie and the chocolate yeah she chews gum all the time bubble gum magoo what's your highest what's your highest chew day what do you mean number of number of chews or a number of you ever do you ever do 100 yeah i don't know yeah i've broken hundreds a number of chews like how many times you chew

a piece of gum no how many gums you put in your how many gums have you what's your gum yeah what's your average and what's your record are we talking like a pack a day oh yeah i'll go through a gum pack a day why not how many are in a pack 15 20 12 12 okay 12 in a pack and i buy them in bulk i buy my gum in bulk sure no one's questioning that but you what what's your record have you ever done two packs i think when i was really stressed out and i had to like when i stayed up for 24 hours i know i went through two packs yeah i i chewed two packs when biggie smalls was killed two packs yeah that was your salute right yeah yeah i understand that um and uh yeah what uh in a year how many pieces do you swallow? Oh, none. I've never I mean, maybe I chew at night when I'm asleep and swallow those.

Here's a question. Wait, are you a night chewer? Do you ever go to bed with a piece of gum in your mouth? No, no, no. Because it'll fall out and get in my beard. My favorite R.E.M. song is night chewing. So beautiful. Here's a question for you, Graham. Say you're dead. You

die. Natural cause of your death. Here's a threat for you graham yeah you you you're dead you're you die natural cause here's a threat for you you're dead yeah um you died somebody's put the coins on my eyes yeah you go and you meet god and he he's like hey i'm you know i'm ever you know i can answer every question that you got and you go i want to see can you show me in a like in a in a ball how much gum i've chewed in my life i want every piece of gum put on a ball and yes i want it to be i want to see i want to visualize how much gum i've chewed yeah how big is that ball bigger than a house easily bigger than a two-story house bigger than a two-story house lifetime choose yeah absolutely choose yeah but you're right it would be very satisfying seeing

it in ball form like a giant ball and what if god told you you know what you have the second biggest gumball of anyone ever whoa and then and people are like oh man he's up in heaven comparing gumballs with dave he's probably splitting a pack of trident with dave you know what graham's dead but at least he's up there hanging out with PUD. With Bazooka Joe. He's there with PUD. Yeah, you were either Bazooka Joe, which was West Coast, or PUD, which was East Coast. Yeah. And they're both dead.

They're both dead. Do you think you can smuggle something up to heaven in your ass? Yeah, absolutely. Just getting it out is the problem. No toilets in heaven up to heaven in your ass yeah absolutely it's getting it out is the problem no toilets in heaven if uh when i die i want my family to be like to tell the undertaker put some hashish in his butthole just so he can he can get out of situations with other angels. Yeah. Yeah, pay off his cellmates. Did you hear what happened?

Some guy smuggled a gun up into his ass. He's God now. This Dave guy's God now. Ah, shit. He shot God. He shot God. In heaven. In heaven. In heaven. His stronghold.

Say hello to my little friend, God. You guys call him the shots now. Shit. Well, I hope he doesn't come to podcast world. I'll tell you that. There's different worlds in heaven. Yeah, yeah. It's like Mario.

There's like different lands yeah why is mark maron in blues guitar world bb king's so mad yeah uh so what's going on with you graham i i did two things that I've been putting off that I wanted to do. Number one, I went and saw the barge. I went and saw Vancouver's barge. It's, uh, Adam, have you heard about this barge? What is a barge again? For the listeners who don't know what a barge is. In November, there was a giant storm, a number of giant storms.

Yes. That hit the West coast and a lot of boats became unmoored. Yeah. One, uh, derelict bargege i don't know if it was derelict is it derelict now i don't know what makes it derelict i don't know but it's not it is a barge is a big boat that's not a sexy boat yeah okay it's something that floats usually but it's a gigantic i didn't know from people's pictures how big it was, because you can't get right close to it to take a picture. You can't get right close. But what you can do is eat some rock candy.

Could do. But yeah, so this barge got tossed up up on land and nobody knows how to remove it. They don't have any good ideas of how it was. There was a, a storm that happened, uh, a couple of weeks ago and people were like, Oh,

maybe the waves will get high enough that the barge will go away. Get like, you know, it'll be easier to tug it out to the water. Nope. They're going to have to do like they do with beached whales and just blow them up. Guys, whatever happens to this barge, gonna have to do like they do with beached whales and just blow them up guys whatever happens to this barge you have to be the however they get rid of it this has to be a cbc drama series that you guys write yeah this stinks of canada broadcasting

corporation series mini series about removing the this is your come from away. Yes. Yeah, that's right. This is Da Vinci's barge quest. There's so the parks board we have a local park here called Dude Chilling Park.

That was kind of an art project that became, someone put up a sign as a joke and it became the real name of a park. You know what I think the people at the parks? I think they're silly. Yeah, they are silly folks. Because they put up a sign at the beach where this barge is

that says, is it Barge Chilling Park? Beach. Yeah. And that's fun. And that's fun and then it got graffitied and they cleaned it off and got graffitied again they're like we're not doing this indefinitely it's just gonna be what it is now it was a joke that we told at the office christmas party or whatever and now it's but it's not like it's it's just gonna be there like it's i my call is that they're

never gonna figure out how to get this barge like they have to bring in a team of helicopters or some shit like that which uh nobody's going to pay the bill for so that's just going to be there it's going to be that's our barge we don't know what's in it um can they do that thing where they're like i guess this wouldn't work you know how they like if something's sunk to the bottom of the ocean they fill it with ping pong balls how do they do that if it's already online helium balloons enough helium balloons in there it'll just float away and kill somebody for sure do you guys know who uh you guys know who you should get to get rid of this barge that was vin diesel dwayne the rock johnson michelle rodriguez yes iris gibson jordana brewster they should get the fast gang to come get rid of the barge yeah they would too wouldn't they

they know how to drive everything oh that would that would be the cold open absolutely that thing if if memory serves me if those guys are involved that barge is going to be gone in 60 seconds Memory serves me. If those guys are involved, that barge is going to be gone in 60 seconds. How big was the barge? It was huge. Graham says it's bigger than advertised. Yeah.

There's all the pictures. There's nobody that can get out there, I don't think, to compare it to what a human size is. So you have to look at it and be like, okay, this thing is gigantic. And the pictures are all blurred out because the barge has huge exposed breasts. Yeah. The barge shows whole. Everybody knows it. Do you guys want to see my impression of Graham looking at the barge? Okay.

Okay. Yeah. I've chewed more gum than that. Yeah. how does it compare to your gumball size i think it's on par i think the two would get along if they were i'd chew more gum in uh six weeks than that let's go babe get the fuck out of here um d have you did you see the barge no I've only seen it in pictures I ought to be in pictures

that's true everybody says that yep um yeah so got to see the barge went and saw what all the fuss was about

it was a nice day the concession stands weren't open which it seems like the concession stands at the barge yeah cause it's right along the

the seawall path I thought that they opened some sort of like tourism says at the barge. Yeah. Cause it's right along the, the seawall. I thought that they opened some sort of like tourism thing around the barge. Somebody smart. They would, if somebody like, you know, brought out a card table and just,

uh, you know, sold whatever brownies, stuff like that, you know, yeah. Raising money for the barge basketball team to go on a tour, go to a tournament.

But as far as I know, they haven't opened it. So I don't know. Does anybody know what's inside? Have they been like, is there a serial number? Oh, isn't it like, oh, from the pictures I saw, it looked rather hollow. Oh, maybe that's it. I don't think it has anything in it. Okay.

Is there anything to open? Is it like Al Capone's vault? Yeah, I think it's somebody's vault. I think it's Kevin O'Le that's it. I don't think it has anything in it. Okay. Is there anything to open? Is it like Al Capone's vault? Yeah, I think it's somebody's vault. I think it's Kevin O'Leary's vault. Boy, that guy loves boating. Oh, man. Does he ever? He loves money, and I'm not going to say anything more.

One of Canada's most famous boaters. Google him. um one of canada's most famous boaters google him dave what what i didn't do anything he's the monster um so i did speaking of monster that was another thing that I've always wanted to do, and I finally did this. You saw the movie Monster? I saw the movie Monster Squad. Has anybody heard of Monster Squad? Is that a 70s movie? 80s. It's an 80s, early, mid-80s.

What's the 70s one? Monster and Lost? That's Little Monsters. Yeah, I don't know. What's the 70s one? Yeah, I'm thinking of something else. What is the plot to Monster Squad squad i'm glad you asked so uh at back in the old times van helsing is almost caught down dracula and then dracula whoa is this true yeah this is true huge if true um he's gonna put dracula through a time portal but uh no he doesn't

want to go in the time portal but he does he goes in the time portal and uh van helsing loses him forever and then snap forward to present day the hole opens again dracula comes out of it now he's gonna run amok in this town. So he starts gathering some troops. He goes and he recruits a mummy. He goes and recruits. Wait, where are they in the 80s? Is this the 80s? This is the 80s, yeah.

Are there any famous people in it? No. There's a mummy in the 80s? Yeah, there's a mummy in the 80s. It's at a museum, like it gets woken up and then runs around voxel run doesn't run right and then you know he gets uh he finds out where the wolfman is so he hangs out with the wolfman wolfman and then lagoon guy there's a lagoon guy and lagoon guy gets very little screen time you You just see him do two things, and that's it.

Lagoon Guy really doesn't. It's kind of sad. Wait, does Dracula say when he comes out of the portal, does he go, he's like, I got to take over this place. But first, I need a team. Yeah. And it's a montage. And then the other one he recruits is Frankenstein.

He reanimates Frankenstein. Wait, wait, wait. The doctor? Yeah, Dr. Frankenstein. Then he wakes up Frankenstein's monster. Oh, okay. Okay, okay, okay. But the crate he's in, you're right, does say, attention, Dr. Frankenstein.

So I don't know where they were shipping him but uh he thought I was I because I I can't find what I was watching but I was what I thought it must have been a Columbo because uh but there was there was a wolfman in it because I was IMDBing someone and they had been in a 70s movie called Monster Squad which is now i'm looking up as different from the monster squad oh i see okay anyways the monster squad is a movie that i saw countless times on the video shelves and always meant i was like someday someday i'll sit down and watch monster squad and finally it finally came true is that the one that has something about wolfman's got nards yes yeah wolfman gets uh kicked in the nards

and uh they also uh there's a very funny thing where they need a virgin to recite this latin out of this book to close the the portal and they get the guy's sister and she just keeps doing it it's not working they're like yeah but she's a virgin she's like no i'm not a virgin it was pretty good it was pretty fun it was like uh and also they were like the Goonies. These kids take on the monster squad to save their town. Oh yeah. So it's a lot, a little bit,

you know, Kevin McAllister, a little bit Goonies, a little bit Van Helsing. Anyways, guys, it was a ton of fun. I watched the new Hotel Transylvania movie.

How does it hold up? It's good. It's Hotel Transylvania, Transformania, where the monsters turn into people and the people turn into monsters. It has Van Helsing in it, too. Jim Gaffigan plays Van Helsing. He's the role he was born to play. Those movies are, boy, they are just a lot of fun. Yeah.

And what's wrong with that? What's wrong with just having a a lot of fun. Yeah, and what's wrong with that? What's wrong with just having a little bit of fun? Graham, does Ben Helsing make a return in Monster Squad? I'm glad you asked. Yes, he does. He shows up and helps kind of save the day, really. Yes, but he reappears in modern day, and then

we just see him go away. Was Hugh Jackman Benugh jackman van helsing in the van helsing movie yeah that sounds right yeah that was a very um that and like the underworld movie and the resident evil movies it was a very uh kind of dark monster-y time yes 2000s yeah i watched a movie from the early 2000s. It was called Jeepers Creepers. Oh yeah. I remember that movie. Did you see it? I think I slept through it.

I remember they did a thing in my town where, I don't know if this is commonplace, but a bunch of teens would go to the movie theater and you would sleep over at the movie theater and you'd watch a bunch of movies. What? No. No, this sounds amazing. You'd be you'd watch a bunch of movies what no no this sounds amazing you'd be like locked in with a bunch of teens and they wouldn't let you out you weren't allowed to

leave because it was all supervised doors are locked doors and doors are locked all crime is legal and uh we were allowed to watch a bunch of movies and i believe jeepers and they were like older they were they weren't movies uh that were on then they were older so it was like jeepers creepers a lot of those movies so like eight-legged freaks was also one of them yeah yeah yeah i did jeepers creepers i remember i think i remember the box the movie store the dvd box yeah and it was like something like a burlap sack tied shut except an eye looking through yeah yeah and i don't okay anybody who hasn't seen jeepers creepers uh spoiler alert but the very last very last scene the last minute of the last scene uh jeepers creepers says like he's filleted a guy and he's always got him up

like drying like uh like a sheet and then the camera like slowly pushes in and then jeepers creepers puts his eye through the through the hole and winks at you and that's the end of the movie oh wow so now you're part of the jeeper creeper yeah so who's jeepers creepers i assumed he was like a monkey man he's like a he's like a demon man okay he, every 23rd year for 23 days, he goes feasting. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, and he drives a crazy old truck, and he wears a funny hat. And, yeah, it's pretty good. Because he loves Michael Jordan.

He loves Michael Jordan. The best number 23 there is. Yeah, Michael Jordan makes an appearance in the movie. And where he's like, oh, I was looking for the Space Jam set, sorry. They kept it in. Yeah. Hey, Michael Jordan, my favorite part of Space Jam

is when Michael Jordan kicks that kid into the fudge pit. Yeah, the chocolate lake. Yeah. As there is in every movie. Yeah, exactly. It's not a movie without it yeah um do you guys want to move on to some overheards oh yeah boy hey there i'm ellen weatherford and i'm christian weatherford and we've got big feelings about animals that we just got to share on just the zoo of us your new favorite animal review podcast we're here to

critically evaluate how each animal excels and how it doesn't, rating them out of 10 on their effectiveness, ingenuity, and aesthetics. Guest experts give you their takes informed by actual real-life experiences studying and working with very cool animals like sharks, cheetahs, and sea turtles. It's a field trip to the zoo for your ears. and sea turtles. It's a field trip to the zoo for your ears. So if you or your kids have ever wondered if a pigeon can count, why sloths move so slow, or how a spider sees the world, find out with us every Wednesday on Just the Zoo of Us in its natural habitat on MaximumFun.org. Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.

Somewhere between science and superstition, there is a podcast. Look, your daughter doesn't say she's a demon. She says she's the devil himself. That thing is not my daughter. And I want you to tell me there's a show where the hosts don't just report on French science and spirituality but take part themselves. Well, there is, and it's Oh No Ross and Carrie on

Maximum Fun. This year, we actually became certified exorcists. So yes, Carrie and I can help your daughter. Or we can just talk about it on the show. Oh, no. Ross and Carrie on MaximumFun.org.

Overheard. Overheard is a segment in which if you're a lucky, lucky person and you can go out and hear things in the world or see things in the world or dream things in the world we need you to report it here to the podcast and we always like to start with the guest Adam would you lead the charge yeah so I was in Newfoundland over the holidays and we were getting we were visiting my girlfriend's family and we were also getting the cat and we went to one of our friends was having a concert and we went to his concert and then afterwards um us and some of his friends um went to a bar so i was with a lot of people i didn't know um and we walked into the bar this like tiny bar

in st just newfoundland and we got um no one had said anything we walked in i probably walked four steps into the bar and uh i heard a woman very loudly say um i saw a horse fuck a woman i saw a man pissing shit on a woman and lick it off jesus christ oh man and uh yeah we sat down and um sat down right next to her spin me a yarn um yeah everyone was kind of like because she was yelling it very loud it was it was not it was it was hard to not over here but um afterwards we're sitting and we're we're sitting and we're there's like a little band playing um and there's a guy there's an old man next to us and he's drinking a coke and he you know he keeps going over to us

and he's like um he's like uh i haven't been to a bar in 35 years he's like i haven't been to a pub or a bar this is my first bar in 35 years and we're like oh my god that's great well welcome to a bar this is great how are you and he's like oh yeah and he's like i just came because my neighbor's playing music over here and he told me to come out this is the first time i've been in a bar in 35 years and we're like whoa that's cool and he goes you're not gonna and he was one of those you know it's like i think an old guy quality where um you know an old guy starts talking to you and you're like yeah yeah and and then you see him kind of, like, go back, but he's, like, thinking of another thing to say.

So he's like, he says something. He's like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Toronto Argonauts just got knocked out, right? They're not going to the Grey Cup. And you're like, yep, yep, yep. And he would, like, go back and be like, the dart fight. There's a dart guy a dart and you're like okay so then later he goes uh he's like yeah i haven't been to a bar in 35 years

it's crazy and um you wouldn't believe it i walk into my first bar in 35 years and i look over right over there he points he goes and i run into my niece and it's the fuck a horse lady this nice old man who we've been talking to again getting a nice relationship with his niece is the eating piss and shit off a woman uh lady oh yeah she's uh she's great yeah wow that's crazy that's that's so what a great twist yeah very big twist and then see that twist coming i had to i we were telling people when they'd sit down people would be like oh we hear that lady say that she saw a man a woman fuck a horse and eat piss and shit and then somebody goes um oh they must she must have thought two girls one cup and then i i go no that's not two girls one cup because that's i had to i felt like i had to

explain that they were wrong and i didn't know a lot of these people so i was like i couldn't let it i was just like no no i don't think guys i'm a scat purist but you know you say something you're like no it's not two girls in one cup I've seen two girls in one cup what she's describing is one guy one guy one girl really but there's no cup in what he's describing

yeah it's just three cups to go in one of those Starbucks and then after I'm like why did I say anything yeah guys guys I know look The girl is the cop. And then after I'm like, why did I say anything? Yeah. Guys, guys, I know. Look, I know what you're thinking of, but just trust me. It's weird.

I remember being like, my parents were out of town and my sisters, or one of my sisters threw a party. And I remember overhearing one of the guys at her party this teenager i was like 12 and he was probably 16 uh or uh maybe i was 14 and he was 18 whatever he was described like i i wasn't like too young to be familiar with the concept of sex right but he was describing a porno i to someone else i was just hanging out and it was just just with your ear against the door it involved pee and poo and uh it was filthy and i was like it really like i don't know if uh people growing up today have like a better calibration for normal pornography yes Yes. Because like it,

it, you know, you're kind of bombarded with all these weird ideas before you, oh, I guess. So if that one is, if that one's pee and poo, is that a normal thing?

Or is that like something you'll run into and like, that's like, that's what the sex ed anonymous question box is for. My brother says that this is normal, but I'm, I'm, I suspect he's lying. Well,

it's so much worse now because now it's like, I would, yeah. You know, you're kidding. You hear about these like animals or whatever. And they'd be like urban legends. Like my cousin saw this thing,

but now it's like, let me show you this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. yeah yeah so every kid has seen like fucked up porn yeah i don't want to king this one has 50 million views yeah but it's the it's like the citizen kane of this kind of thing uh uh dave do you have an overheard okay Okay, mine's an overseen. It's not that. It's nothing like that.

It's nothing like what he did. I am what is known as a VIP to the Gap Corporation, so they send me an email every day. And one of these emails, just the subject of of this email made me laugh just the wording of it and uh it says uh leggings you'll wish came in your size but you can't have them whatever size yeah it was like well do they or don't they yeah it was like well do they or don't they like no these are ones that you you you can only dream would be in your system sort of sick game to you new to the gap baby leggings but not in baby gap regular gap has them but you can't

wear them because you don't fit yeah it's like yeah we have all of your information and we're only sending you stuff that doesn't fit we've been monitoring your web browsing and we're like here's a bunch of stuff you're just gonna wit you're gonna want to lose some weight hi dave good news but there's a catch these are some of the most beautiful leggings you've ever seen. Some are way too big. Some are way too small. Just baggy leggings. You wish. Oh, do these come in my size?

Yeah, right. Yeah, right. Move along. Move along, Pavarotti. Anyway. Good. Well, the Gap Corporation, does that extend? Like, are you getting Old Navy stuff, too?

I am also a VIP at Old Navy. How navy they become a vip at the gap by one thing blood oath by one thing and don't unclick a box and also a blood oath yeah blood oath yeah uh you must ascend through the banana republic until you uh acquire the golden crystal from the old navy and then you fall into the gap. Remember that? I do. Madonna and Mr. Meter Elliot.

Why they never worked? They never worked together again. They had some falling out over jeans, I believe. I think they might have even been corduroy oh yeah I could have been corduroy absolutely contentious my overheard is

courtesy of there's a guy who lives in my building who I think has a girlfriend that has a dog so the dog's around the building a lot but I don't think he's ever in the building but it's very very cute uh like a labradoodle kind of dog and this morning when i was going out there they had a giant box that they were making the dog kind of unwrap it was a big present and it was not going well the dog didn't know what he was supposed to do at all and so the the

people were like tearing it off and you know checking back with him like hey do you want to get in this and uh they he didn't and it was huge this box was huge like it was uh like it must have been a carrying case or something like it was a giant giant present and so i walked by and i said somebody's birthday and they said no it's christ. And they said, no, it's Christmas. Who gives a shit? Why would you correct me on that? Yeah, this dog, it's celebrating Ukrainian Christmas in January. But yeah, just like.

You didn't stick around to see what was in the box? They were opening it so slow that i was like probably pierogies and it was for it's a bunch of borscht for the dog yeah dog borscht i don't know why we keep giving him borscht it comes out like borscht on the other side yeah it's destroyed several couches and but yeah we keep doing it because he's Russian he's a Russian dog he needs boards Lenin bust big bust of Lenin

it's a recreation of Lenin's it's a squeaky Lenin bust it's a Kong Lenin bust you fill it with peanut butter we have to take the dog after the COVID's over to see Lenin's body in the red square. We were going to go last year, but you know. He wants to put two pieces of kibble on his eyes.

Just to have a snack in the afterlife. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In case there's any dogs. Yeah, exactly. I like to think that Lassie and Benji are up there. Oh, yeah. Jamming. Jamming.

Doing a podcast. Sniffing around. No, we also have overheards sent in from people all over the map. If you want to send one in to us, send it in to spy at maximumfund.org. And this one is from Nicole C. Poor parts unknown. Nicole Christie, probably your little sister. That's my little sister, Nicole Christie.

She makes good cookies, from what I gather. On my way to work, I frequently pass one of those electric traffic signs used to warn drivers about road work. Someone in the highway department seems to be having some fun, because I have spotted the following messages on one particular set of signs. because I've spotted the following messages on one particular set of signs. They're like work zone, nacho speed zone, happy tax day, don't drink and drive. But the king one, as far as

I'm concerned, is slow roll in the cone zone. That's pretty good. Do you think someone's hacking into it? Hacking into the mainframe? Yeah, I think it's Julian Assange. You know, this person is a fun person. They need to get a job at the

Vancouver Parks and Recreation as well. That's right. Yeah. He loves training. Yeah. If you love funky signs, get over there. Yeah. If you're super silly, then come see us. We want to recruit the best. The best and the silliest. Do you got any barge

ideas? Because that's what we're working on right now. We need our best man on it. We need our silliest man on it. Oh, oh, wait. Is the barge large? I'm listening. Do you think that works? Barge, darge, targe.

Let's get some of the onion writers over here does the city have some money for some of the onion writers? could we get James Corden on the barge? if there was a one night only James Corden concert what would he be doing at a concert? anybody could guess we could have had it all

rolling in the barge Everybody could guess. We could have had it all. Rolling in the barge. Any points at the barge? Everybody loses their mind. I want to go to a James Corden concert. At the barge. We got front barge seats for the James Corden concert. Vancouver celebrities coming out of the barge.

Oh, yeah. Ladies and gentlemen, David Duchovny. He lays down a blues riff. His sex with the barge. Everybody's doing their thing you know them about. And now here to hump the barge a man who's so associated with vancouver he got the x-files moved out of vancouver because he hated it so much is that true no he left the x-files didn't he no he it was exactly what you say he was gonna walk and then they uh they said okay

we'll shoot it in los angeles because his wife at the time who was taylor leone leone she hated being vancouver so that's why i got moved what but then didn't he leave anyway yeah eventually he did leave yeah and then uh replaced with robert patrick ro Robert Patrick, that's right. T-1000, brother of the guy from Filter. Oh, really? Hey, man, nice shot. Whoa, that's a family. Yeah, I'm mostly sure I'm right about that. Yeah.

Good thing I was in Terminator because my brother's in fucking Filter. Can you imagine working at a bank? David Duchovny moved it out of Vancouver. Joke's on you, David. Number one rated city in the world. And you're the number one celebrity associated with the city, according to Adam Christie. Name another celebrity who's more famous than David or Gillian Anderson. Gillian Anderson.

Gillian Anderson? Gillian. No, you got it right. Gillian. Who's the most famous Vancouver celebrity? Probably Ryan Reynolds. All right. You got me there.

I got pwned by Dave. I got pwned by Graham. I'm getting the stop podcast. Stop pwning yourself, Adam. That's right. That's our app that we're putting out is stop pwning yourself. This next one comes from Brittany in Philadelphia philadelphia pa overheard in the service waiting area at a honda dealership mom so what are we waiting for girl maybe 1920

my car pretty good kinky kid what are we waiting here for like we just came here to meet boys i bet you uh an auto replace is like it'd be an easy place to pick people up because everybody's got to sit in a tiny office together you can definitely pick people up because do you need a courtesy car or can i just jump in with you yeah last time i had my car service they just call you an Uber now. Really? Mm-hmm. I always thought it was pretty crazy, the courtesy car system. It's weird because you can't tip the Uber because it's done through their system. Weird.

But if they leave a bad review, it's on their system, not on yours. What if you're at the Honda dealersonda dealership and then like uh you know a toyota prius comes are they like oh sucks that you got one of these you can't request a honda but sorry it is a prius that's that sucks sorry i hope you're not i hope you don't embarrass easily yeah like hey you don't like that breeze too much okay get out of here okay geez do me the courtesy of i mean it was a courtesy car the least you could do is have a little courtesy around my bridge yeah we used to we used to uh we used to drive people home but it kind of got in the way of me picking up chicks yeah it got old real fast yeah baby yeah your car will be here any minute but uh right now i think i need to take off my honda the windbreaker it came with the car that used to be a thing like i feel in the 90s there was a lot of companies thing is like we will drive we will give you a ride

yeah enterprise rent a car we'll pick you up yeah we'll pick you up we'll give you the thing domino's pizza we'll drive your pizza to your house yeah and we'll give it to you we won't just leave it on the step they'll actually hand it to you that's how good service domino's is sony playstation three rides a year you buy one of these babies we will you get three rides a year and you you can use them yeah you can use them same day if you want we'll drive you to your friend's house to play sony playstation christmas day 9 p.m you got it buddy we're a little drunk though i'll be honest we are drunk uh this last one comes from a gabrielle in cleveland I was waiting with my 8-year-old daughter at her bus stop.

One of her friends was waiting with us and she started talking about what she wants to be when she grows up. She said, well, first I wanted to be in the army, but I don't want to die, so now I'm going to be a teacher. Well, guess what? With the government sending kids back to school, you

might still die. I got bad news for you. Yeah, you're more likely to get shot in an American school than in an American army. Did you guys know Dave is writing for Bill Maher? Guys, here are some of the rules. Here's some of the rules. Here's some of the rules.

It's religious in here, you guys. Bear with me. I've been asked to communicate some of the rules. Start the clock. This new guy's good. The new writer's good. The new writer's got the tone of the show like that. The old writers would just copy and paste the first line of the segment, but this guy didn't bother.

Yeah. So here come the rules. And I'm Bill Maher about that. And the thing about me is you got to respect me because I have an opinion. You know, when Maher started saying here are some of the rules, that's Schumke. Yeah, that's right. The fact that he doesn't even do that segment anymore. We're entering the golden era of Bill Maher.

Oh, man. Are we ever. I mean, it's been a wild ride, but yeah, let's, let's see what he does for the, for the next hundred years. Yeah.

You should get the tonight show after, uh, Jimmy Fallon steps down. Yes. Yes. You should have the tonight show. Step down, step down,

Jimmy. I'm protesting every day. Uh, in addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us, call 1-844-779-7631. That's one.

Ugh. SpyPod 1. Like these people have. Hey, Dave and Graham. This is Lupe from ULIF, Texas. I have a overheard scene, slash overheard. I just was at a cafe, and I walked walked out and I saw a

little pile of puke but that reminded me of a overheard from several years ago I was at a party and I wanted my friends had too much to drink and I was kind of you know off doing my own thing but But then, apparently this friend threw up. And one of my other friends, upon seeing that this friend had threw up, responded, hey, we didn't have spaghetti. Great show, guys. Talk to you later. But this evidence points to, says otherwise. Lucky. Lucky.

No fair. I do like that he was a little bit apprehensive about saying puke. But then once he hears this episode, don't worry. We got diarrhea out of the way the first five minutes. And also that it was a pile of puke.

Yeah, a pile of puke. Yeah, a little pile of puke. Do you think it was a pile of puke yeah a pile of puke a yellow pile of puke you don't think it was do you think it was eminem who famously vomited spaghetti on command whoa do you think was that just 50 cent who called it was that papa doc here's your next phone call hi dave and gra Graham and possible guests. This is Kyla calling in with an overheard from Vancouver. I was in downtown Vancouver walking down Homer Street this summer, and these two women were walking towards me, and I guess they were maybe talking about, like, a mutual acquaintance of theirs or something.

And the one woman was like, oh, yeah, you remember him? And she's like, oh, yeah, I remember him. And she's like, the second woman one woman's like oh yeah you remember him and she's like oh yeah I remember him and she's like the second woman goes yeah don't you remember I used to date him and they're like oh yeah you did and she's like yeah he had the smelliest dick Jesus

I'm sorry it's not that type of show it's not that type of show this episode has been very much also the last few we're gonna clean up our act no i mean maybe you'll see world um yeah and what's his name the guy from entourage apparently that's like he famously has adrian grenier. You know who else does? Kevin O'Leary.

Google it. Yeah, exactly. Oh, man. The weird rabbit hole you would go down. Google it, Kevin. Type in, honestly, if you go to Google and you type in K, what comes up is Kevin O'Leary smelly dick. And that's no word of a lie.

Yeah, but it smells like money. It smells like. it smells like he loves it he loves the stuff can't get enough oh boy he would eat it if it were possible he's you know probably sits on a gold toilet yes well the rest of us are sitting on regular toilets porcelain porcelain toilets yeah he's probably got a gaming toilet. Yeah. Oh, man. I don't know if the people at home know, but I am sitting in a gaming chair. I just want to put that out there. But it's not a toilet. It's a real chair.

What do you game on there, Wordle? I just got it for Wordle. The thing about Wordle is it always kills my back. I need a $600 gaming chair for this. Here's your final phone call. $600 today. Must be nice.

Hi, Dave Graham, Impossible Guests. This is Megan from Los Angeles. I'm a high school earth science teacher and we're on our soil unit and it can be hard to make that interesting, hard to make dirt interesting. So, because I'm a cool teacher, I started started by asking in what movie was soil a major life or death class point hoping they'd say the martian and the poop potatoes uh and instead a very cool

goth kid spoke up and said honey i shrunk the kid and immediately started laughing hysterically it was amazing off i go you know what i would have said? What? What's the most famous Dirt movie? Joe Dirt. Joe Dirt. Wow. Easy. Easy peasy. When I,

the first thing that came to my mind with, with Soil being like a life or death thing, I thought of Independence Day when he says, welcome to Earth. That's right. Yeah.

Do you know Will Smith has a travel show now called Welcome to earth he literally i'm laughing but i don't not believe you that's that is real that's real welcome to earth and he smokes a different cigar and every no he doesn't light it though just for the look just bites it what song is that from uh getting jiggy with it jig yeah getting jiggy with it from the william album uh that's way that's not from the william album it's getting jiggy with it yeah pretty sure wild wild west is on uh william also will duque

hmm well we're at a real crossroads here because I didn't know Wild Wild West was on it. Yeah, I got, you know what? I apologize. I got mad on that story. Getting Jiggy with it is from the album Big Willie Style. Oh, Big Willie

Style. My apologies to everybody. I got the way the way see that's what happened when someone said that that that shit video was from two girls one cup i like something happened in my body yeah well you're like uh i couldn't help myself but just but to correct them yes well maybe the most you know when you have one of the most annoying qualities that a human but you do it that's me do you uh did you have any will smith albums well i had will any of them yeah so this is how i know this is how he knows it different i i fucking i blew up on you gram i'm sorry i feel so! Fuck! I told myself I wouldn't do this!

Well, that brings us to the end of this here podcast. Adam, thank you so much for being our guest. Thanks for having me, for God's sake. I love you guys. Is there anything out there in the world that you want people to see or listen to or any of that kind of stuff?

No. Not a thing. You have an album out, don't you? Yeah, you can or listen to or any of that kind of stuff? No. Not a thing. You have an album out, don't you? Yeah, you can go listen to my album. I don't really check social media. So, mail me a letter. Yes, mail him a letter. Mail a letter to

Toronto, Ontario. That is not my address, but I will start. Once this is posted, I will periodically check that mailbox to see if you have written me a letter. Did you ever live at that address? What is that address? That's a street in Toronto that I know of, and I know that's probably an address.

Yeah, I bought it. I'm going to go back and say, please don't bother whoever lives at whatever I just said. You know what? I'll go ahead and bleep it. Okay, thanks. Well, thanks again for being our guest and thank you everybody out there listening.

May you be as lucky to see a dog opening a present sometime in the near future. Come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Audience supported.