Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 727 - Kyle Fines
Episode Date: February 22, 2022Actor and comedian Kyle Fines joins us to talk David Copperfield, fouled pools, and Yoko Ono....
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Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself.
Woo!
Hello and welcome to episode number 727 of Stop Podcasting Yourself.
My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man...
What did I say about this guy?
Graham got here late. He didn't come up with a fun quip.
I nearly slept through the whole thing.
Yeah, a man who comes prepared with his own quip mr dave shumka yeah i'm a real
quipsman uh i've got uh quips to my left and i got anecdotes to my right and in the middle
oh you know a little bit of uh uh the a bowot? Bon-Mot. Is that what they say?
It's pronounced Bon-Mo.
Um, our, uh, guest today, first time guest here to the podcast.
Very excited to have him here.
Um, very funny comedian, actor, bon vivant.
Bon-Mot.
Mr. Kyle Fiennes, everyone.
Uh, thanks.
Hi, fellas.
Hello.
Thank you for being our guest.
Thank you for having me. How are you guys doing?
Good. How are you doing?
Yeah, I'm doing good.
Nice. Yeah.
Yeah. That's kind of the answer these days, you know?
Yeah. Um, should we get to know us?
Yeah, let's do it.
Get to know us.
Kyle, you are an actor.
Sure. You're an actor rapper yeah i'm going for that egot baby yeah um what is oh yeah emmy grammy oscar time magazine cover
which you just get done at the mall. Like there's a guy who takes your picture,
puts it on a time magazine.
So a lot of people have the T and E got these days.
Yes.
Um,
Oh,
there was someone who,
uh,
if,
if I think of it,
it'll be very interesting,
but there was someone who came to my attention who only has one of those,
but it's like a lot,
the less likely one never mind what i
think tony's the less isn't tony the less likely one tony's not the least likely one if you're say
lin-manuel miranda or you know uh rita moreno yeah or gad surely gad has won
yeah gad's probably won one for the uh the mormon mormon people love to say but he was
great in the book of mormon if you ever shit on him yeah that's true people are there that's the
they call i he used to be in everything like he was he would show up in everything and i'd be like
oh gad again and now uh the james corden's and everything i'm like i miss gad yeah
well there used to be a
there used to be an order a pecking order
it'd be like can we get Jack Black
no we can't get Jack Black
can we get what's his name Dan
something he was in Balls of Fury
you remember that ping pong movie
he's basically doing a Jack Black
impression and then if you can't get him
you get Josh Gad
well Gad has leapfrogged to the front of the line but impression and then if you can't get him you get josh gatt good josh well that gatt is gatt is has
uh leapfrogged yeah to the front of the line but uh it's like if you can't get skeet ulrich you
get steven dorff well if you can't get johnny depp you get skeet ulrich and then you can't
and skeet ulrich doesn't return your calls because he doesn't have a phone
yeah sorry i lost it 10 years ago to sizzler if you can't get Kirsten Dunst, you get Dominic Swain.
Yes.
By the way, if you can't get a good podcast, you get us.
So let's just like, let's take ourselves down a notch.
Yeah, exactly.
For the Swainheads attack.
Let's check ourselves before we wreck ourselves.
Yeah.
And Gad, he means no harm.
He's out there trying his best. He's old. gad yeah dave's a big gad oh i should have asked first
yeah well i i get it i get it yeah uh uh but he's uh you know he carries those frozen movies he was
great as olaf yeah i'll give it to him yeah and I've heard he's great in Book of Mormon, so I've got to take people's word for it.
Yeah, yeah.
I don't have any standing problem with Gab.
I think my beef is longstanding with Corden.
Everybody knows that.
Oh, boy.
Yeah, here we go again.
Don't get me started on our boy.
I was getting riled up.
Speaking of late night, do you guys know that Jay Leno has a game show that he's the host of?
You were going to say, do you know that Jay Leno has four cars?
Oh.
I was going to say, it's the game show.
Hey, do you want to come into my garage and look at my cars?
And he just shows us while wearing denim.
He's just like like look at these cars
I'm wearing denim tonight I'm doing a little Leno
dark Leno
I'm doing a dark washed Leno
what is this game show
it's a reboot of the
show from the 60s called You Bet Your Life
and
it's him he hosted with Kevin Eubanks
I've heard the name
I've heard of that show.
I don't know the rules.
The rules is that the game doesn't matter.
It's all the banter between the host and the guests.
Because Groucho Marx is who hosted the first one.
And is the guest a celebrity?
No.
Oh.
No.
They're just some jerk off the street.
Jerk off?
Yeah.
And if you can't get jerk off, go under the street and find somebody in a sewer.
And if you can't get them.
Can't get gad, you get a jerk off.
You get a jerk off.
That's right.
I figured there was just a show where they would just be like, okay, how much can we
pay you to kill you?
You bet your life.
Do you have a family that could benefit from this?
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. do you have a family that could benefit from this yeah yeah yeah in case of uh accidental death your benefit triples jay leno has blood lust he's just
rubbing his he's like just tell me what i gotta do to get you to allow me to murder you
the most dangerous game yeah yeah um uh yeah I don't know why I know that.
I guess I was watching the Olympics during the day,
and then I switched the channel, and there was Jay Leno.
Old Jay Leno.
Not the young Sprite we remember.
No, not the young guy from the Doritos commercial.
Graham, we'll talk to him.
We'll learn more about our guest.
But you said you almost slept through this.
I did what somebody I follow on twitter ariel ariel demas calls the devil's
the devil's nap which is 5 45 oh wow yeah the sun's down yeah i know it was very like i i
thought it was like i'm gonna lie down for a 6 o'clock recording. I woke up at 545.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
When did you go to sleep?
Five.
And then I napped. Sun was up?
Sun was going down.
I was irresponsible to have a nap, but I couldn't resist, you know?
One of those, the couch was looking so good.
How long does it take you to fall asleep for a nap, Graham?
No time.
Which is interesting because we've talked before about our insomnia.
We both share our love of insomnia.
Dave's choking and put his arms in the air to stop choking,
which I think I've seen in movies.
Is that wrong?
You choked on your margarita twice?
Yeah, it's too salty.
I got a big salt in my throat.
I'm having a margarita because our guest used to be a bartender at a Mexican restaurant
in my old neighborhood.
Yeah.
Yeah, which spurred some memories.
Was it, how many, at that restaurant, what proportion of the bar orders were margaritas?
Oh, 90%. Oh, yeah. Yeah. proportion of the bar orders were margaritas oh 90 percent yeah yeah it was it was the most uh
i was just it was a uh what's the word i'm looking for like muscle memory at that point
didn't you think it was great was no way were people like uh how do anyone ever say give me a
paloma oh yeah once in a while yeah why not um yeah the main question was always how are your margaritas
that was always are they naughty yeah um you you say yeah we both have trouble sleeping but i don't
have problem falling asleep it's staying asleep that is interesting interesting because I have a problem. I take forever to fall asleep, which is I can't nap because by the time I would need to get up from a nap is when I would probably fall asleep for the nap.
Have you ever done that before where you're taking a nap too late and then you wake up at 2 in the morning and you're like, hey, we're meeting here at, you know, 1030.
And you go to, you have a quick nap at 830 and then you wake up at 3am and you're like, no, whoopsie daisy.
Do you guys remember a couple of years ago there was a...
Non-COVID world, yes.
There was a pill that was recalled.
There was a very popular sleeping, it was a supposedly herbal sleep aid called you dream
it sounds like a scam yeah it sounds like a snl commercial and it was recalled because it was not
herbal and it was medicinal and it was like everyone was like this sleep aid works so great
and plus it's just herbal.
It's like totally natural.
And then they find out it's like codeine or whatever.
Yeah, it was like a benzo.
It was just like.
This is just 50 milligrams of Ativan.
Oh, Ativan.
That's one of the winners.
I used that for a while.
But then, you know what?
Things stop working if you do them.
You get used to them.
You get used to them, and your body says,
think of something else, bro.
Is Ativan prescribed?
Yeah.
And how easy is it to get prescribed?
Very.
How much are you?
Is that what Tiger Woods would take and have a dirty,
dirty drug sex?
Yeah.
That's who turned me onto it.
Was the wood man.
We call him.
Hey,
this guy,
you know,
he seems to have things going on really well right now.
I think I'm going to get on this Benzo train.
He's had a good decade.
Yeah.
This guy who's apologizing profusely right now.
Are they still together?
It might have been ambient.
Him and his wife?
Yeah, his wife.
Are they still together?
I couldn't imagine.
No.
I couldn't imagine.
After your wife beats you with a golf club,
it's usually over.
That's like a Jeff Foxworthy.
You may know it's over.
Yeah.
You might be a tiger woods.
If you might be,
uh,
and he's saying it to his,
have you seen his show that he hosts Bible challenge?
No,
no. Is that a real thing?
Yeah.
He has a Bible challenge,
a game show,
which I'm surprised Graham,
you seem to love your game show. I do love my game shows. show, which I'm surprised, Graham, you seem to love your
game shows.
I do love my game shows.
This is, I'm absolutely shocked that I don't know about you.
Are you, you know, more pious than a fifth grader?
Which Corinthians are you?
Yeah.
What is, is it just Bible trivia?
It is.
It's Bible trivia.
I wish I could tell you how I caught it once.
I seem to always find the weirdest stuff.
It was definitely on a streaming service and it was called,
I think it was just something straight up like Bible challenge.
And it was two groups and it was like three people in each group.
And it was just Bible questions.
And,
um,
one of the groups was a nuns once and i think they just decimated it
they got nothing to do
the american bible challenge yeah american bible challenge well this is thank you for bringing this
to my attention well i mean you know that it begs the question because you you know could we have a
canadian version yes exactly we
graham do you want to host the canadian bible oh i would love it uh they've already locked in jerry
d sorry guys damn it why does he get that position every time i'm sorry well he was on cbc you know
it's true check him out on gem um i uh i like i just like picturing the categories on the bible show like jeopardy
where they kind of make like silly things where they string them together like jonah and the whale
whale of a time one of them would be why don't you get a job yeah yeah uh i was once when i when i was a kid i went to go see uh pen
and teller oh yes uh live at the vogue theater in vancouver and i went with my brother and they did
a thing where they uh they did a trick where they uh wanted kids to come up on stage so all the kids
of the audience raised their hands they called on me and like 10 kids came on stage and we all uh threw darts at a dartboard that had
uh different bible verses or bible books okay and i remember mine landed on judges and they had a
you know they had a line about hey judges uh something court you know judge ito but what what was the trick well and then it was like so this
uh you it the a bunch of kids threw stuff at the bio at the um at the uh dartboard i forget how but
eventually they whittled it down to one book of the bible they whittled it down to and before the
trick started they had put a piece of paper in a bottle and,
uh,
suspended the bottle from the top of the,
at the top of the stage.
Oh,
wow.
And then,
uh,
they whittled,
winnowed it down to one Bible verse.
And at the end,
they pulled the bottle down and it had the Bible verse in it.
Wow.
Can you imagine?
And then Ben reminded us,
God doesn't exist.
I was going to say, I thought the trick was called, do you want to watch 10 children become agnostic? the bible verse in it wow the can you imagine and reminded us god doesn't exist yeah i was
gonna say i thought the trick was called do you want to watch 10 children become agnostic
well can you imagine doing sound check for penn and teller like okay uh yeah to check me the bottle
that's hanging from the ceiling we got uh we got matthew up there on the ladder making sure that
it's right and uh matthew from the bible yeah yes
just for our cue this is where i tell 10 children that none of this matters and we're just floating
through space yeah recycling's bullshit all this kind of stuff really is he recycling's bullshit
yeah yeah that's on his show whatever it's called like shut the fuck up i mean i have heard the
recycling kind of bullshit shut the fuck up with shut the fuck up
shut the fuck up is my show that's literally what he told teller
that's i love it were you a huge penn and teller fan dave
uh no oh okay i mean it was a fun, and I was like a nerdy comedy kid.
Like, I loved stand-up comedy, but I don't know how I would have known Penn & Teller.
Well, they were famous.
Yeah, I guess.
Yeah.
I was super into David Copperfield when I was a kid.
Nice.
Like, I thought he was the coolest dude in the world.
I saw him live three times.
Wow. All in Vancouver? No, saw him live three times. Wow.
All in Vancouver?
No, back in Toronto.
Nice.
Yes.
And one of them was when he was going through his flying phase.
We all go through it.
Yeah, everybody goes through it.
So he, near the end of it, I think the last time I saw him,
he flew and it blew my mind how did he do it
i still don't i mean i'm just assuming he learned how to fly but he like flew over the audience at
one point and he had all the marrow removed from his bones so he had super light well he was wearing
a really billowy shirt so maybe it's filled there with helium or something i don't know
he was dressed as spider-Man and he was telling
everyone to turn off the dark
helium shirt
just at the end of the show he's still stuck on
the roof
hello everybody
I'm married to Claudia Shiffer
yeah he was married to Claudia
Shiffer and then didn't he date somebody
like somebody very
not magician adjacent but i mean
claudia shiver was that but yeah she dates all the magicians everybody knows that that's right yeah
uh okay according chris angel and david copperfield on who's dated who.com yeah this is
good reliable source should be who's dated whom but we'll let it slide uh the only yeah the
only person i've heard of is claudia shiver okay um anyways of his of his uh 10 uh 10 people he's
dated can we just assume that the woman after claudia shiver his rebound was probably an
assistant like a magician's assistant.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, exactly. Because it's like when you
have a rebound and you work in an office, you're like, well,
I'm always around this person. I might as well. I mean,
I cut her in half, you know. Yeah.
I date her. Cut her in half and then,
you know, if she's talking too much, just put that half
in the corner.
Come on. He's a vaudeville guy.
He's got banter. That's
his classic vaudeville banter. just classic he's like the sexy one
he does sexy stuff so what else was sexy he made the statue of liberty disappear yeah that
the sexiest thing you can do i'll be honest i get really hard whenever the statue
liberty disappears where did it go no don't tell me i never want to know yeah
what what the statue of liberty is kind of a boner killer
so if you can get rid of it well dave you're up and down you said that you get hard when you see
it you say that no i get hard when i see when i don't see you don't see it i see and then when
it comes back well we've all heard the stories of like you know people coming over from ireland
and stuff on the boats in that night in the early 1900s, late 1800s. And then being like,
I'm so excited.
I'm so horny for the U S and then they see the statute of liberty.
They're like,
wah,
wah.
And then their David Copperfield was a whole different David Copperfield.
Yeah.
It'd be like circle this,
this Dickensian character made your statute of liberty disappear.
What accent am I doing?
That's not Irish.
Where did he get the name?
Like it's the book has the book is a magic right no but he performs zero magic in it yeah he just i think he picked it
because it was like familiar enough or maybe it's just it's rags from riches sort of though right
yeah yeah yeah yeah so maybe that was uh rags riches? Is this about a little boy who gets poor?
Did I say rags from riches?
Oh, no.
What else did you see him do?
I'm fascinated.
I'm dialed in.
He made snow.
He made snow, which isn't so impressive now.
Especially in Toronto.
Yeah.
He actually, the trick was he just took us all outside.
He was like, I made this.
And then we all were like, oh well, we gotta
believe you. We have no reason
not to believe that you made this snow outside.
So, okay.
Yeah, so he made it snow.
He made it snow out of his
hands.
This is Spider-Man again. Yeah, so
out of his hands he would make snow and then
it fell from the ceiling and made snow?
I think eventually it probably just like, so it's like most of it came out of his hands like Spider-Man.
Okay.
And then by the end, they're like, well, let's give more snow.
Snow falls from the ceiling.
The snow's falling from the ceiling.
No, everyone, don't inhale.
Don't open your mouth.
This is very dangerous what I'm doing.
Also, there's no late show coming in because this is a disaster.
Also, we're sponsored by Borax, so don't.
Borax.
Three times you saw him.
Yes.
I loved him.
What ages?
This would probably be between the ages of 7 to 12 probably okay so the first time you see him
yes is it is it your parents idea or are you did you see a commercial and you're like i want to go
to that we i can i can say that every time was my idea because we watched his specials on TV. So like Statue of Liberty.
How does a kid know a show's coming to town?
The Shriners would advertise.
I always knew when the Shriners were coming to town.
What was their show?
They rode around in little cars, right?
Yeah, and they sponsored a circus.
So every time the Shriners came.
Oh yeah, the Shriners Circus. I feel like back in the day, didn't they have like commercials for everything that was coming to town yeah i guess so yeah like the what's the
one commercials yeah oh yeah anytime kids don't see commercials anymore no that's true and that
that means they're messing out on shen yin which is coming yeah they're not well the kids still
see the door knockers well kids still go to winners that's how they know about shen yin
yeah but kids aren't
seeing commercials for the harlem globetrotters coming to town the the any capade otherwise yeah
yeah monster jam man i went to one of those when i was a kid and it was it was like one of the best
things i can remember being a kid was going to i've been three times as an adult at the pne
and your review they're amazing we're going again in March
We already bought our tickets
Oh shit, March isn't that far away
Is Undertaker going to be there?
The Undertaker?
The monster truck
You're thinking of Gravedigger
No, Gravedigger and Undertaker are too different
Yes, but I think spiritually they're connected
When I was a kid it was just Bigfoot
It was Bigfoot, yeah Here, it was just Bigfoot.
It was Bigfoot?
Yeah.
Here's the thing about Bigfoot.
I don't know if that's a Monster Jam truck, though.
Same with, what's the thing that turns into a giant Zord?
Truckosaurus.
I don't think Truckosaurus is Monster Jam either.
No, sure.
So they work their own circuit kind of thing?
Yeah, it's like back in the day, you had wrestling territories.
Right. You know, for everybody who's listening right now, it's like, oh yeah, I like you had wrestling territories right you know for everybody
who's listening right now he's like oh yeah i know all about southern wrestling yeah yeah yeah
this is transformers territory this is go bots territory yeah and like we're in mega blocks
country there's no lego around here gi joe and mask yes oh yeah i remember going to a friend's
house and playing with mask remember mask yeah i i had both
you had both joanne dave privilege mask here's what i remember about mask oh boy i couldn't tell
you what the thing was but i remember there was a little boy voiced by alan thick's son but not
robin thick who rode around on a little robot who was also a vehicle and mask stood for something and uh justice was the i know the m stood for mobile i'm pretty sure
mobile you're thinking of mash was mask the one so i have an older sister who had a bunch of
my sister had a bunch of uh gi joes and Transformers and stuff like that.
So there's this weird intersect between,
I'm a 90s kid, but because I have a much older sister,
I have 80s influences from her toys being hand-me-downs.
Was Mask the toy that you would press a button
and it would transform, but like barely transform?
Was that a Mask thing i i can't remember it was mobile
armored strike command with a k yeah well come on guys that's just uh no mask was the one with
um they had vehicles that changed and then they made the movie with eric stoltz yeah they had eric stoltz
was share uh-huh really no this is oh i get it sorry no mask no the mask is smoking isn't that
i've never seen somebody so unhappy to get a joke before oh okay yeah no yeah there were too many
properties called mask within like eight years yeah Yeah. And only one of them asked somebody to stop them.
That's true.
That poor Eric Stoltz.
Stop me, Sheriff.
Stop me, Sam Elliott.
Could you imagine if the 1980s dramatic movie Mask had him go, somebody stop me.
Could I imagine?
Yeah. I have a pretty good imagination.
Smoke. Yeah. How come there wasn't a sequel to mask because that seems like it was really good movie and which one yeah which
uh to both oh i really don't know sequels to both well there is the son of mask
oh yeah oh with jamie kennedy where the baby turns into the mask that's right yeah and then
it was a very creepy all cgi baby oh yeah yeah just like
alley mcbeal yeah exactly the og scary baby is it i guess what a simpler time when all we cared
about was a cgi baby that was like on the news the next day yeah that was literally that was
literally news like that's what we dealt with it was a what was it a screensaver
that became a it's a dance to ooga chaka ooga chaka did she see it in the courtroom did she see
the baby yeah yeah she because it was like a vision or something but was it in the courtroom or
it was kind of everywhere it was it was really on her mind did either of you ever actually watch Ally McPhil? No.
Well, Graham, what was it about?
Go ahead. I never saw it.
It was about a law firm.
They shared a bathroom. Boys and Girls had one bathroom.
See, you know already a lot about it.
Yeah, but I don't know what
separates it from a
regular lawyer show.
The good fight. It's supposed it was quirky
like so it wasn't supposed to be an all-out comedy but it also wasn't it was david e kelly wasn't it
uh yes and they all went and saw vonda shepherd's thing every night yeah vonda shepherd was the
house band at the bar that they gathered the peach pit and near the end they brought in uh they brought in iron man near the
end to liven things up oh was he it was robert denny jr pretty sure he was well as as iron man
it was the prequel and you know calista flockhardt she's a woman but it's hard to date when you're
working all the time so maybe the the kind of people you date are kind of in the low
end of the pool. And so that
makes for pretty great
comedy, if you ask me.
I don't know if it holds up. Probably not,
is my guess.
The Dancing Baby probably does. The Dancing Baby definitely
does.
Theme song was great.
Can you sing a few bars?
Oh, my name's Ali Beal, and I'm here to say,
I think about the baby every day.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, that sounds good, man.
Anyway, Kyle, welcome to the show.
What's your deal?
Thank you so much.
What's your whole deal?
He loves magic. Magic, apparently he loves magic magic apparently which likes magic
he likes monster trucks well i'm telling that whole story about the david copperfield thing
is it like i don't i never got into magic myself yeah i ever i tried when i was a kid and then
when the book said that you're gonna have to like repeat this so many times oh yeah i quit i quit
i love quitting things yeah what's the best thing that you ever quit where you're like oh man i'm so
glad that i quit that uh tap dancing oh sweet okay tell us this story yeah how long did you last
so uh to to preface this why did you go yeah okay well i can preface this by saying that um i have adhd
and when you were a child in the 90s with adhd they didn't know a lot about it so i had a i was
the textbook version of adhd kid with tons of energy i mean i'm still that person but my my
parents were like we need to basically like when you take your
dog out for a huge run to because you just know you want them to fall asleep when they get home
my parents were like that with me so they're like trying to put me into every sport
into every sort of hobby to like see what they could you know so at one point they put me into
uh my parents put me into dancing and it was half of the class was jazz dancing.
And the other half was tap dancing.
And,
uh,
as a kid who loved,
you know,
had like overdrive sensory,
I love the sound of tap dancing.
So they put me in a tap.
I probably lasted maybe two weeks before I was just like, well, I'm not amazing at this yet.
So let's try something else.
I gave it a shot.
I'm amazing at something after two weeks, you know?
Yeah.
That's the point of doing anything if you're not great at it after two weeks.
Exactly.
My point.
Exactly.
But quitting something when you're a kid, it takes a lot of force because you're not the one that's
like well I'm canceling my membership to this
yeah well because your parents already paid for
you know from
at least like September to Christmas
oh yeah
you definitely have to come up
with some very good excuses for the first
few classes that you want to miss
I think my
teacher's racist.
I also can't sneak up on anybody anymore.
Which was my thing.
You need special screwdrivers to reattach the tapper,
and mine's come off.
So I think you have to get them overseas.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Apple doesn't want you to be able to uh modify your tap shoes but yeah i have a long list of stuff that my parents
signed me up for that i uh got tired of very quickly which is my life story you are you're
into something then you're like is there anything you you regret any of that? Do you wish you had stuck with
any of that? Yes.
Guitar.
I took guitar lessons for
a couple years.
Years? Yeah.
My problem though is I have
very small hands
which is very difficult as a child.
Yeah, they look fine to me.
I have that filter on that makes your hands look normal.
Oh,
you can't tell.
They look normal.
Oh,
mine's malfunctioning.
I mean,
mine,
I have like,
uh,
you know,
like anime characters.
Speaking of hands,
did you know that the,
the thing in,
uh,
the Adams family,
that was a magician's hand.
Oh,
that's probably who I was thinking of before he only got
a tony was it bill what's the clown guy's name bill irwin mr noodle yes what is this thing you
speak of what's mr noodle what is uh bill irwin mrodle is a character from Sesame Street?
Yeah, maybe.
Who was portrayed by Michael Jeter.
Okay.
And then Bill Irwin.
Is that right?
Bill Irwin was also in Hot Shots.
Oh, who is he in Hot Shots?
He's the guy who keeps the wing and the plane together.
I think he is Topper's dad.
Oh.
He's either Topper's dad or he's his his co-pilot and he's the guy who gets stretched out if you remember yes the flashback
uh that's him and he he's a on sesame street yeah he is uh later than you would have watched I only know from parenthood
But
There's a
He's like
If you don't
If you don't know who he is
You don't know who he is
But you'd know his face
But also I could not tell you any of his roles
Other than Mr. Noodle
He's a clown
He's a classically trained clown
He does like song and dance stuff too He he was in uh if i just watched it the other day my blue
heaven with rick moran yes i know who you're talking about it's the part the other he's the
other partner yeah and he does the weird dance at that one point where joan cusack and rick moran
yes our dance our dancing that is how to look r Rick Moranis look any taller. This is like an undiscovered gem.
A lot of people haven't ever heard of it.
It's an interesting movie.
It's also his Steve Martin's character is supposedly supposed to be Ray Liotta's character from Goodfellas.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was written by Nora Ephron and her husband wrote Goodfellas.
He wrote Goodfellas.
So they like based on the same interviews with the same...
Yeah, from the same guy who...
Yeah.
Two books.
That's a fun couples thing.
Let's write a book.
We'll write a movie,
and you'll write a movie about the same topic.
We'll share notes.
We'll spend time with highlighters together.
Mine will be a comedy.
Yours will be a drama that's funnier.
Did you guys ever think that Penny and Marshall and...
Gary?
Gary and Marshall were married?
Because I didn't.
No, I knew they were brother and sister somehow.
I always thought they were married.
But there's...
I can think of examples of...
I can't think of examples,
but there are examples of other ones where I'm like,
oh, they're not a couple couple they're brother and sister i think that i i thought she was his
daughter i didn't know they were brother and sister yeah maybe i think i thought that whoopi
goldberg and the wrestler goldberg were brother and sister and that's true that if you uh you
look at her ancestry.ca yeahca It's remarkable, her family.
Well, at the end of Sister Act 2, Whoopi
spears the mobster and says
who's next.
And at the end of Sister Act 3, Whoopi
wins America's Bible Challenge.
Yeah. Well, you'd be so
lucky to get on that show. Oh, happy day.
They're going to make a Sister Act 3, right?
On Disney Plus, probably. Oh, sure.
Oh, sure. Yeah, right? Like, that's the thing to do now. do now now that whoopi's you know stepped aside from the view for a while
she not back i don't know she was suspended back the next day
i just i just read the the headline and then i went about my day i'm taking tap dancing right
now so it takes a lot of time and energy out of my day. It really does. Do you have anything that you regret quitting, Graham?
I guess probably piano.
I think it'd be cool to be able to play piano.
Yeah.
I wish I, my parents, my sisters took piano lessons.
And for some reason, my parents made me take cello.
Oh, wow.
We had a piano in the house.
Why not?
Did they hang up a poster of yo-yo ma in your
bedroom this is this is who you should respect for now and every time i've you know finished
an arpeggio they took off a panel so i revealed a nude yo-yo ma yo-yo ma uh the old major league
yeah they major league yo-yo ma for me name one other uh jealous no i can't it's so weird
though that yo-yo ma as a child i knew who it was because somehow they were able to infiltrate that
into my mind i think it's because dennis miller said it in the rant yo-yo ma and i looked it up
as if it was an expression it was a guy and was, I think he maybe had the most guest appearances
on the West Wing
of anyone.
There was always
a Yo-Yo Ma concert
about to happen.
I thought he was like,
I thought he was
the Secretary of Defense
or something.
Oh, great.
Our weekly
Yo-Yo Ma concert
is coming.
Oh, Yo-Yo Ma's
doing the jackal.
Ah!
Yeah. Yeah. P piano would have been mine.
What about you, Dave?
Did you quit anything where you're like, ah, if I'd only stuck with it?
No, my parents made me stick with things, which is a talent I do not have as a parent.
But they would also sign me up for
stuff right and that i had no interest in like they like i took swim lessons and then at a
certain point in elementary school my mom was like okay now join the competitive swim team and i was
like i'm slow everyone's mad at me i don't know i don't want
to wear a speedo either i like having these i didn't i was like the only one in board shorts
he's really slowing us down on the relay oh my billabongs
they made me take a woodworking class i think they i don't know if they made me they signed
me up and they're like you're doing
this and i was like all right you're gonna be a hermit hermit in the woods one day yeah you're
gonna thank us for this you're gonna be a hermit and i made a stegosaurus and i still have it
you know what i like i definitely wish i was more handy i wish I could use tools and stuff. Oh, yeah, that's another one.
Yeah, being able to fix things, especially a car.
Being able to just diagnose the problem in the car and then also know how to fix it.
Did you guys have that class in high school?
Yeah, I didn't take it.
Yeah, my school had it.
We didn't.
I wish I had taken it, 100%.
Yeah, me too.
But I feel like the auto auto guys they were their own club
of people it was weird like i didn't know anyone who took it no i mean the t-birds they were they
were like the t-birds you see them and guys well they're systematic right you should have seen
what the chicks did but they were yeah they were kind of like their own gang i feel like the woodshop kids were also like only understood other woodshop kids yeah yeah and lingo yeah exactly
i do remember the auto shop kids would like do auto shop after school as well like that was like
it became a whole but those were also the guys who were into, who had their own cars, which as somebody who used their mom's Toyota Corolla.
Yeah.
You think Carol's going to let me tinker on that thing?
No way.
No.
She takes it to the dealership for service.
He's not going to let me work on his Mercury Sable.
Those are the two.
Those things run fix themselves.
You always remember the two cars you learned what to drive, like how to drive on.
Yeah. It was my Chrysler minivan. You always remember the two cars you learned how to drive on.
Yeah, it was my Chrysler minivan.
It was a big red minivan was what I learned.
We had an Acura Integra.
And later I had a friend who was like, he and his friends loved Acura Integras for some reason.
Like a guy I met in school, in TV school, and he was like,
oh yeah, I'm fixing up my Tagsy.
Yes, he did.
That's it.
Although there was, I guess there was like
a souped up model. We had like the
plain. Yeah, I think
this probably in one of the Fast and Furious
is for sure. One of the drift ones.
Sure. Yeah yeah where were they
drifting again was it like kyoto oh no it was in tokyo come on don't play koi with me
koi being a popular fish in japan full circle well done done um uh yeah i and i feel like there's also things that i'm not like i'm too old to pick up
and be any good at like any physical i would do piano now i would love piano now yeah i i just
don't know where to put it um but you know what if you go on craig's list there's so many free
pianos i bet yeah is there actually oh yeah there is ones like big ones big ones yeah because it's so hard to not even grand pianos
though but like just like even the upright upright ones yeah like people buy them and then we want to
get rid of them and there's only so many people in town that can move them properly without damaging
them and so people like give me a damaged one yeah yeah i can i can turn it around yeah i can fix you
you've seen the panda piano on broadway right what that's i thought there's that piano shop
on broadway oh okay okay i thought you meant broadway like the theater district and i was
like there's a play called panda piano i really ruined that by making it seem like there
was a play on broadway there's a pan is there a there's a panda piano okay well but what is that
because that's real is it a piano store on ninth avenue on broadway that has a panda piano and i
yeah that's not as exciting as what could have been what piano store? Pacey's?
the one like Broadway near Oak
on Broadway
right next to the Toys R Us?
yeah
again please get rid of this
I'm sorry it's not a Broadway play
no no it's good
this is good local content
I don't know how local you guys make this
we like to get down to does the place have parking or not yeah sure This is good. This is good local content. I don't know how local you guys make this. Very.
We like to get down to, does the place have a parking or not?
Yeah, sure.
When I was leaving my apartment at.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, okay.
But like whenever, if you ever had car trouble
and then some guy comes along and fixes it really quick,
that makes you feel like less of a person, right?
Yeah.
That makes you feel pretty low.
Then it's always something stupid, too.
Oh, you just got to screw in this spark plug.
You idiot.
Yeah.
Whenever I think about how hard things are
with like DIY and renovating and cars,
I'm always like, we invented this, though,
so I should be able to figure this out.
Wee! It wasn't you.
No, but, you know, wee as a species. As a species, yeah, that's true. We should be able to figure this out it wasn't you no but you know we as a
species yeah that's true we should be able to i don't see zebras making cars yeah a zebra would
need my help i would be able to help me and i was on broadway then you make that you're you know
you're embarrassing that zebra in front of all its friends uh-huh uh you idiot it's a spark plug ever heard of it yeah come on man we'd an unspoken rule
um dave what's going on with you man oh big week this week here we go banner week uh so i uh
things have opened up enough that i you know uh pools are open. So I've been taking the children swimming.
Yeah.
And this past week.
So where we swim, as with most pools, there's usually a large pool for people to do laps in.
Yeah.
And other general playing.
Yeah.
There's a, there's a kiddie pool.
Okay.
There's like a dive tank and there's a
hot tub okay and so we were uh the the kids had done some time in the big pool and then we were
in the kiddie pool and then as we were sitting around in the the kiddie pool with a bunch of
like toddlers and you know five through seven year olds uh we noticed the lifeguards started coming
around and whispering to people oh okay and we were like oh i or at least i was like they're
telling people to get out because someone has pooped yes yeah also is there a reason that it
always has to be called the kiddie pool as opposed to just not called the kid but it's uh i think
they call it the tot pool yeah or yeah whatever tot stool
well there was some tot stool in this one
so they started coming around
so the lifeguard went around from person to person and said
like we don't want to
embarrass him but that Brian over there
I think that was basically it
like high school gossip
hey have you heard about Brian
I think they
I saw them
whispering to people saying,
we are evacuating the pool.
I assume that's what they said.
I knew it was happening,
so I even circumvented that.
That went right up to her.
Has it been fouled?
We're just going around telling everybody
that somebody made hot brown butter in the pool and
you know, do what
you will with that information.
If you want to stay in there, fuck.
If you want to dip some
focaccia in here.
That's so
gross.
So what
I get is never living
that down.
No, no, no. This was like a so a kid is never living that down no
no no no
this was like a two year old
so this kid is living it down
but if there was an older kid like a five year old
they'd be like I remember that time
at the pool but the thing is like
we've gone to the pool before and it's been closed
the moment like before we got there and like
oh I guess something happened beforehand
and the reason like they clean it up pretty quick and then it's been closed the moment like before we got there and like oh i guess something happened beforehand and the reason like they they clean it up pretty quick and then it's just like they
blast it with chlorine yeah and then they have to just it's closed for like a few hours waiting
for the chlorine levels to go down right well that's uh that's a that's a tidy way to taking
care of things yeah so so we were in this little pool and then we got out.
We went to the hot tub and we had been at the pool for like an hour at this point.
So, we were about ready to go.
Yeah, you have aching muscles at this point.
You got to hop in that hot tub.
Well, I was in the hot tub, so that helped.
And then the kids were like, okay, well, before we go, let's go back in the big pool.
We went back in the big pool and I realized, oh, I don't have my goggles.
And then I looked in the little pool.
Yeah.
They were in there side by side.
Well, they had, we had also witnessed the, whatever the big net that they use on a pole
to, to take it out and put it into like the biohazard bucket
well you're not gonna just throw it in the garbage like in the bathroom
you can put it in a toilet sure you can put it i mean that's where it belongs yeah put it a come by with a bedpan and so we uh so i i went back in the big pool and i
and the the it had been fouled in the like opposite corner of where my goggles were
interesting i would not be going after those goggles but i basically i i we went back in the
big pool i didn't have my goggles and then as we were leaving, I was like, I went to talk to the lifeguard.
I was like, so it looks like I've left my goggles in the toddler pool.
What's my strategy here?
They're like, forget about it.
It's Chinatown.
She said, you know what?
The fouling happened at the opposite corner of the
pool no she said it happened at the it happened it's that's what it's known as around the pool
it yeah it happened again the happening yeah so a funny thing happened on the way to the toilet
to the hot tub yeah uh so uh the reason the pool is closed right now is is because it's
too chlorinated so you if you go in pick it up with your feet sure you should be fine
and so i did under her circum circum circum circum navigate the low supervision and she uh
uh so i i yeah i i got them i brought them home haven't put them back on everyone i've
told this story too is like you fight new guys yeah i'm firmly and they throw them away camp
i mean i wouldn't even touch them to go back how nice of goggles are they i don't know they were
like a 25 pair of goggles i think you know what? You gotta wear those again. You gotta wear those again.
What pool was this, sorry?
I do not want the public knowing where I'm half naked.
We'll take this off air.
Yeah.
Also, during the summer, you can catch Dave half naked washing his car.
Oh, sure.
Yeah.
Or, I mean, half naked at a Super Bowl halftime show.
That's true.
Dancing with 50 Cent.
Hanging upside down with his bloated face.
I thought he looked good.
I think they all looked good.
Yeah, they all looked, like,
he's lifted more weights than I have
since that song came out.
Yeah.
He could kill me.
Yeah, he could kill all of us.
Also, I would look terrible upside down as well.
And also I saw footage of him.
He put himself upside down.
It was like,
he just grabbed onto the bar and put himself upside down.
He looks like the kind of guy that could do this and take,
put his hands on either side of my head and then slowly squish it like
Jason and Friday the 13th.
Yeah.
And I wouldn't be able to do anything about it.
I think people should be ashamed
of making fun of his appearance
and of using the same joke
that everyone else did on Twitter
saying he looked more like a dollar.
Yeah, that was rude.
But also, basic.
You're all using the same joke?
You're all basic bitches.
Did you both watch the halftime show?
Yeah, that's all I watched.
I both watched it yeah
can you explain to me why they were in a bunch of houses no that was just uh there was some kind of
design choice i'm not sure why that was the design choice but then i was like what else could it be
on a train or what else makes more sense that'd be pretty cool that would be pretty cool actually
i mean the stage you can find me in the train bottle bottle full of chuga, chuga, chuga, chuga, chuga.
My favorite part of the halftime show is when somebody else is performing,
but it cut to Mary J. Blige and 50 Cent on the couch.
Yeah, that was fun.
Just sitting on the couch, like, vibing.
It was just like your two buddies, like, on the, you're like,
hey, check out this new song. You put it on
and they're just like... It's been this new song from 20 years
ago.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That was a...
I thought it was fun. When Dave and I
were chatting before
the Super Bowl, Dave
revealed to me that there's
been a lot of Super Bowls
where it was themed.
Like one of the years themed was Indiana Jones, which I watched the whole thing.
Indiana Jones, Tony Bennett came out and saying, can you feel the love tonight?
Yeah.
So in the early 90s, like before, like in about 1990, New Kids on the Block were the halftime show.
Before that, it was only marching bands.
Yeah.
It was only like, there were no famous people who ever did the halftime show.
It was Up With People and like the Minnesota, University of Minnesota marching band.
And then in the early 90s, they started coming up with like famous people.
Gloria Estefan, for some reason, did it three times in the 90s.
Yeah.
For some reason? That's Miami Sound Machine 90s yeah for some reason that's miami sound machine come on yeah well once it was twice it was gloria estefan once it was the
miami sound machine good good they parted ways yeah because of the halftime show they may have
gotten confused and booked manhattan transfer but like But like the one with Indiana Jones wasn't that far for booking Manhattan transfer.
No.
Yeah.
And then before like,
but like it was only in like the two thousands that they were like,
Oh,
let's only book like the most famous people who have like 50 famous song.
Yeah.
But,
uh,
what were the other themes?
There was Indiana Jones.
And then there was another like hilarious theme. I watched a bunch of them but oh i don't know yeah then it became this
thing that was like it was a thing you were you had made it if you were asked to do the super bowl
halftime show well it was it went through that phase of of like sort of our parents generation
music so you had like you too and bruce springsteen and
like it's a little bit younger but prince i feel like this is i know you think that's
our parents generation but graham and i are that's our generation yeah that's i know i grew up in the
50s and only started listening to music in the 80s where's frankie valley bring him out come on i feel like this is the first year though that
made a lot of like late 30 year olds be like oh i'm i'm old now yeah that's true so they used to
have like a theme and so the i'm just i pulled it up uh 1990 the theme was a salute salute to
new orleans and the 40th anniversary of peanuts peanuts the cartoon
or the 40th anniversary of the food peanuts
oh man uh and then uh small worldute to 25 Years of the Super Bowl.
When did...
That was the New Kids on the Block with Disney characters and Warren Moon.
Nice.
The football player.
1992, they had Gloria Estefan, Brian Boitano, and Dorothy Hamill,
and members of the 1980 U.s olympic hockey team
doing what were they just dancing i think they waved
and then 93 michael jackson and then from then on it's been famous
singers although the blues brothers did it in 97
was that i guess the john goodman iteration of the blues no it was it was john belushi they
dug him up oh wow and they did the old puppet thing they did it it was like a weekend at
bernie's thing isn't it funny that weekend at bernie's is like a thing that everybody knows
but i bet you only about like you know 500 000 people have actually seen it, but millions and millions know what that, I saw it in the theater.
Did you really?
Yeah.
How old were you?
I would guess eight.
You think it wasn't it?
Like,
wasn't Bernie like constantly his hand falling on women's breasts and stuff
like that.
He was like a horny old guy.
He was a horny old dead guy.
You're trying to cancel Bernie.
Yes.
He doesn't fit into our advanced ways
just because he's dead i feel like that that summer i saw so many movies what year was that
that would have been 1989 1989 what else came out that was cool that would have been batman
holy shit last crusade yeah i think so i didn't see that uh back to the future 2
oh was ghostbuster 2 no yeah that's ghostbusters 2 ghostbusters 2 yeah definitely and honey i
shrunk the kids okay 90 no that's 89 um i know this i was a baby well you had an older sister. I did. That's true. Who had mask toys.
When Batman came out, it was the first time ever where people bought a ticket to the movie,
watched the trailer, and walked out.
It was such a popular, like, everybody wanted to see this trailer.
Oh, they would buy a ticket to a different movie to see the trailer for Batman. Yeah, to see the trailer for Batman.
Nobody did that.
That's true. No, that is something that people were doing impossible it is possible why why why because it happened what movie were they buying a trailer so yeah what
was that a movie uh weekend at bernie's that's why weekend bernie's did so well. Yes, that's right. I remember when that was a thing, when you would go to see trailers and movies and then just leave the movie theater.
What are you talking about?
People would buy tickets.
Just sneak in.
Like, buy tickets.
See another movie.
Do you remember that other JFK movie withvin costner that wasn't jfk
about the bay of pigs no oh with uh bruce greenwood yeah 13 days yes thank you thank you
wow and before that movie was either the trailer for somebody's gonna kill me online because i
don't remember this it was either phantom menace or like the first spider-man and they had the trailer before it
for that and i remember going and i did sneak in i was seeing another movie and i snuck in to see it
the idea of like buying a ticket to like okay we want to see the trailer for batman okay well we're gonna go to
the movie theater we're gonna spend like back then i don't know 650 we're gonna have to park
we're gonna have to find parking we're gonna have to find seats do we want uh get twizzlers do we
want let's just get a small popcorn because we're only staying for one minute i don't think it's a
family thing yeah i think it's like a one person thing.
But it was like,
cause now,
uh,
like trailers for the trailer drop.
And then they're like,
trailer comes out this time.
And then movie comes out like,
man,
that Batman,
the new one,
uh,
that's been holding everybody's suspense for like two years.
Yeah.
Robert Pattinson.
I know he's going to be the sexiest Batman next to Michael two years. Robert Pattinson. I know.
He's going to be the sexiest Batman.
Next to Michael Keaton.
Next to Adam West.
Yeah, next to Adam West.
Paul Dano getting the shit kicked out of him again.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He is.
I have a friend who brought this up about how good Paul Dano is,
is being a sniveling guy who gets the shit kicked out of him.
What did I just see that he was? Prisoners, he gets the shit kicked out of him. What did I just see that he was?
Prisoners, he gets the shit kicked out of him.
No, there will be blood, he gets the shit kicked out of him.
There's one with Hugh Jackman.
What is it, Hugh Jackman and Jake Gyllenhaal?
That's prisoners.
Is that prisoners?
Okay, yeah.
That's where he takes the hammer and he smashes the sink.
Yes.
Nobody is a sniveling guy who deserves to
get the shit kicked out of is that more like paul dan is that denny villeneuve it was yeah it's a
good movie suspenseful um it was good yeah i like i like a movie like that that's like
not flashy they didn't have to shoot they shot it in a place where it rains all the time
yeah and it's also like a movie for adults like if you showed that to a kid they'd be like
man this is taking forever you wanted me to why are we watching mystic river it's good it's good
i like this movie i'm trying to pass it on to you is that my daughter in there
it's good it's worth it love that they love the boston accent
movies is that my daughter in there kids we're seeing 13 days it's about the bay of pigs
you guys like pigs remember we went to the petting zoo but back in the day they used to
take like rated r movies and make them into action figures like Rambo and Robocop and Terminator. That's true.
They were just like
to be like, hey, who wants the prisoners action
figure?
The Paul Denner with the inflating face.
Oh boy. Oh yeah.
It's got this
sink that you hit with a hammer, but it
breaks and then it, you know, you can do it a hundred times.
The there will be blood action figures.
You can kill him with a bowling pin.
And all the bowling pins have like smiley faces on them.
Like they're their own character.
Paul Dano, he loses his hearing as a child, right?
In there will be blood.
No, that's the son. No, he's that's the that no he's the preacher oh he's
the preacher oh yeah the son loses his hair okay yeah okay because he he takes a vow of uh silence
in uh little miss sunshine i was gonna be like he's not the guy who gets beaten up he's the guy
who never talks but no never mind no that'd be amazing if that was an actor's calling card that they don't speak.
They only are called.
There are, like, if there's movies about deaf people, there's, like, a handful of the same people who show up in them.
There's a deaf woman.
She won the Oscar for Children of a Lesser Girl.
Marlee Matlin.
Marlee Matlin.
Yeah, she dated Jerry Seinfeld.
She was a lineswoman.
No, I was on the show a i bet that was lines woman no i was on the show i bet that was fun well she's too old to date him in real life
uh so that's what's going on with me i think it's new goggle time for a new pair of goggles
put them on craigslist and say goggles free have only been pooed by once. They've only been
pooed once but they
Somebody will still take that
free goggles.
Yeah, free goggles. They won't
read the rest. They'll already
be in the car starting the ignition.
This guy's already got it. Hey, it's Pink Eye Pete.
You don't think I could boil these goggles? No, I think they'd fall apart. You don't think Pink could boil these goggles no i think they'd fall apart
you don't think that b knows what he's his way around some shitty goggles
uh oh yeah yeah so what's going on with you graham i uh i don't think i've talked about
on the podcast before but uh i went to the vancouver art gallery to see
the yoko odo exhibit oh yeah it was fantastic i think people really gang up on her because
they say beetles they she broke out the beetles or whatever which i don't i've never understood that
because like is that what it's like in get back that documentary no it's uh
she's she's it's she's weirdly always by john's side and that's like a thing that he wanted he
was like i never want to be apart from you even when i'm in my famous rock band i want there to be
a fifth seat in the jam space right but she would just she would just hang out yeah but it's it it
wasn't like she didn't she she was they were a couple like and that's what they wanted and
they were the beatles were doomed to break up anyway yeah so she was like unfairly scapegoated but if she didn't date john i don't know that she'd be like a thing that
everybody knows sure she would have been like still like a conceptual artist she wouldn't be
like a famous uh conceptual artist like uh christo and john paul yes yeah i don't know who that is
but uh yes they never dated a beetle so that's why i don't know that
um but her stuff is great i don't like describe it well she's got like different there was
different elements there was stuff that talked about her and john's relationship and they had a
whole uh kind of part of the exhibit that talked about the bed in that they did in uh montreal uh-huh
uh which was you guys both know what that is right yeah yeah they stayed in bed for a long
time yeah yeah they're saying give peace a chance yeah and you know who's there is uh
tommy smothers he's one of the guys singing on that track he's playing the guitar
cool yeah yeah smothers brothers yeah yeah from the smothers brother um Smothers. He's one of the guys singing on that track. He's playing the guitar. Cool. Yeah. Smothers Brothers?
Yeah. Yeah, from the Smothers Brothers.
Um, yeah.
So they, but they had all sorts of things like
this was the receipt
for the hotel. This is what they ordered
from.
Sure. From room service.
They had all these weird receipts and
kind of bits and bobs that I guess people
held on to because it was John Lennon.
You got to stretch that content.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, check out if you're interested in a refund that they got for a watch that they bought that they didn't like.
But her stuff, she has a lot of interactive stuff.
And I was like,
Oh,
they should advertise this for,
so kids can do it.
Cause it's,
uh,
it's a blast.
There was one thing where you just hammer a nail into this huge canvas that
everybody else has hammered a nail into.
Do you find a spot?
You bet hammering the nail.
It's so loud.
It makes it travels around the whole exhibit.
Uh,
and then there was a room where there was a long table and was filled
with uh ceramic shards and you put it back together however you wanted it and then they
went on a shelf where they were on display so it was like fun it was a fun exhibit and like she had
one i think it was the one that legendarily john lennon met her at an exhibition showing this
where it was a ladder and you climb up to the ladder and there's a magnifying glass hanging
from the ceiling and you look at it and it says yes and i think he wrote no and that's how they
met he defiled her work cool typical meet cute yeah exactly remember you ruined my thing i worked really hard on
um yeah so uh i loved it and i you know i had a friend when i was in high school who was obsessed
with yoko ono so i've heard a lot of her music in the past oh okay yeah that's not as good
the music no it's she has a song called all day long i felt like smashing my face through a plate glass window
and that's in there that's all the lyrics there they are i that i like i like the i like a long
song title what's your favorite long song title oh boy i would do anything for love but i won't
do that sure i mean i'm really only thinking of like album titles, supposed former infatuation jokes.
Yes.
Yes.
Every Morrissey song ever.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That one Fiona Apple album title, when the pawn flips over the thing and then you're like, hey, pawn, knock it off.
I'm a bishop over here.
I believe my god is in you.
Yeah.
Now, Yoko Ono. Yeah. off i'm a bishop over here yeah uh now yoko oh no yeah i think uh the thing that i don't like about her is she was apparently quite uh mean to john lennon's first son julian right and there
were like letters that john had written to julian that she wouldn't give to him and julian had to
buy them at auction oh oh that sucks it sucked when
i had to do it with my parents do i hate it and yeah but apparently now both john lennon's sons
from different marriages different mothers they're both uh anti-vaxxers so cool is it sean on oh no sean sean lennon oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no apollo oh no um yeah it's uh that sucks
so you know that's a negative her so that's one strike against her but you know she just won
she made a cool hammer exhibit it was fun is there something else that i'm missing that's
bad about yokono? No, I think
she's been treated unfairly.
John Lennon's probably
worse. Oh, for sure.
But I think she's also... Maybe a little?
I don't know how much
sympathy she needs.
There are some people who put him on a pedestal.
Oh, no, no, no.
He's a great guy.
He's a great guy. He's done a lot of good stuff. Everything he's a great guy he's everything he's a great guy he's done a lot of good stuff
everything he's done is great yeah he you know what he created world peace uh and so i do like
i do like uh art couples when you're like uh one of them is like the famous one and the other one
turns out to be more more talented yeah
yeah yeah yeah
was Frida Kahlo
she had a partner who was like
Diego
Rivera
he was painting murals
but we just want that
we just want those monorail pictures
sorry Diego
but he comes along for the ride.
Yeah.
I feel like Nikki to St.
Val had someone in her life.
Yeah.
And,
uh,
I do.
Yeah.
Like,
I like that.
She,
her stuff,
she wasn't like,
it's not like she maintained fame after he passed away just by like,
she actually did stuff. She't just uh like go around
doing speaking to us about what it was like to be married to john lennon john lennon although
people would pay a pretty penny to see that yeah um but yeah it was great it was great it was fun
it had interactive fun things that every piece of the exhibit had like something that you could
touch there was a room where you wrote a message to your mom and you put it up
on the wall i dave i wrote it to your mom hey wait no no um
um were there a lot of just like your mama jokes yeah yeah there's a lot of
your mom is so stupid yeah she saw she saw that Weekend at Bernie's
said no one under 17 permitted,
so she brought 16 friends.
Yes, yeah, your mom is so stupid.
Yoko, she was
the original Roastmaster General.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
She dated Jeff Ross for a time.
That was her rebound.
Yeah.
Yeah, so anyways uh if a yokohama exhibit comes to your town i recommend is it still going on is it or did you catch going on for another month i think
oh wow yeah um it's hard to turn over an art exhibit you know you gotta
you gotta paint those walls you gotta paint the walls you gotta find studs you gotta make sure there's a stud in the wall to hang the uh and
then there's like conceptual bits where it's like the ceramics they're not sending ceramics you
gotta go find your own ceramics smash them oh sure yeah of course yeah i might send some ceramics
just as an example yeah you know send them a, like, china doll and just say, like, smash it.
Well, like, if you're a ceramic artist, you might have made ceramics that you probably want to send.
Yeah, there's a...
Do you guys ever see Seth Rogen when he's posting pictures of the pottery he's made?
Yeah.
It's so innocent. Like, it's... He doesn't seem to be any joke beneath it. He's pictures of the pottery he's made? Yeah. It's so innocent.
Like it's,
he doesn't seem to be any joke beneath it.
He's just like,
Hey,
I made this cup and then it gets a 10,000 likes.
I,
I do.
Is that something you would want to do is make like pottery?
No,
no,
it's,
uh,
I tried it in university there was a like a art lab where you could try
all sorts of different things and uh it's so hard to make anything on the spinning wheel yeah um
and just all it did was get clay under my nails that took like weeks and weeks to get out that it does i follow a few ceramic artists on instagram and
it's it's very cool but yeah it does seem it looks easier than it probably is i know our
friend mr bean was once uh he was uh taking a painting class and he was painting a bowl of
fruit and then he looked up and there was a naked lady who had taken the place of
the bowl of fruit and so
he went over to the spinning wheel
spun a couple of cups
to cover her boobs
known asexual Mr. Bean
I guess so
he's a pretty sexual guy
yeah there's a lot of
is he a horny dude? is Mr. Bean horny?
in the last couple episodes he gets there's a lot of in is he a horny dude is mr being horny in the last couple episodes he gets
there's a lot of penetration which is surprising yeah okay yeah and because it was in his contract
he said it all has to be real it has to be real or i'm not doing the first like the first dozen
episodes no penetration but like a lot of dry humping a lot of dry humping yeah
he dry humps the three-wheeled car.
The tip's over.
There's the Christmas episode with the turkey on his head.
That's right, turkey on his head.
Yeah, do you guys want to move on to some overheards?
Yes.
Yas.
Hi, I'm Janet Varney.
And just like you, I survived high school.
And we're not alone.
On my podcast, The JV Club,
I invite some of my friends to share the highs and lows of their teen years.
Like moments with Aisha Tyler.
But when you're a kid, the stakes are just pretty low.
Go to school,
try not to get in trouble, get laid. Jamila Jamil. I watched television probably every
waking hour during that time and I was shit-faced on medicine. And Dave Holmes. We talked and talked
and then everybody left. It was just us two and I was like, I love you. Learn how you too can be a
functioning adult after the drama and heartbreak of high school. Every week on the JV Club with Janet Varney.
Find it on Maximum Fun or wherever you get your podcasts.
This is a judgment-free show.
We have wasted this world.
Our magic put a storm in the sky that has rendered the surface of our planet uninhabitable.
But beneath the surface, well, that's another story entirely. In a city
built leagues below the apocalypse, survivors of the storm forge paths through a strange new world.
Some seek salvation for their homeland above. Others seek to chart the vast undersea expanse
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dive into the ether sea the latest campaign from the adventure zone
every other thursday on maximumfun.org or wherever you listen to podcasts
overheard overheards in uh in this day and age we're lucky enough to be able to hear things Overheard. Overheards.
In this day and age, we're lucky enough to be able to hear things and then express those things to strangers all over the planet.
Used to be you would hear something, tell it to a friend, that was the end of it.
But now, we can broadcast these overheards everywhere we want.
And we always like to start with the guest.
Kyle, would you please yes i want to preface this
by saying that i was thinking today about my overheard and i was like i want to make sure
it's good i've told my partner about so many good overheards in my life but i just i couldn't figure
out anything perfectly that i wanted to express you to and then i went to go get my haircut and then i had
an overheard at the barbershop nice which i was gonna make it a two-parter i was like well here's
an overheard i heard today but no today was it's short it's sweet it's so perfect like your haircut
yeah yes too short too sweet so i'm sitting there waiting to be seen at the barber shop it's a very small barber shop
there's only two chairs there and i'm waiting to be seen and uh the barber is cutting uh somebody
before me and all i hear is them say um they're talking about um singers and performers
just sort of a general discussion about that.
I, at this point,
I wasn't completely clued into what they were talking about.
Finally, I start listening to them.
And the barber says to the other guy,
Oh, you know, who's a really great singer.
And the guy's like, who?
Oh, Kevin Spacey.
So this is the point where normally in your brain when you're listening,
you expect the other person to be like, yeah, but he's a piece of shit.
Like, also, is he a great singer or does he just love Bobby Darin?
I mean, there's a bunch of things that could have been said.
But instead the guy goes, oh really i didn't know
that i know a few facts about him yeah yeah and then um he goes yeah no he's like a classically
trained like stage actor and and he's a really great singer and uh um yeah he's just he's just
amazing at it and then there's a pause where the guy in the chair doesn't say anything.
And then the barber goes, yeah, but he's a little bit goofy.
Yeah.
I mean, you know, if that's the worst thing you have to say about Kevin Spacey, that's a good day for him.
Yeah.
Oh, what a group.
What a group.
Quite a butterfinger.
Yeah. Oh, what a real boy. He's going to Butterfingers. Yeah.
What a goofy guy, always.
Not listening for consent.
Yeah, and he's always, you hear this sound around him a lot.
Boop.
Bonk.
People are always dropping their coffee cups around him.
But hey, he's a really good singer.
He's a really good singer.
You know, he did the super bowl in 92
and it was american beauty what's the theme yeah wow look at all these roses going anywhere
they incorporated roses into a 3d pepsi commercial you have to get the glasses at a 7-eleven
and that benning's there and she's mad commercial. Get the glasses at a 7-Eleven.
And that Benning's there and she's mad.
He just
works out at one part of it.
He's ready to do all the favorite scenes.
Chris Cooper's in the closet.
Is Chris Cooper?
Yeah.
God, what else is he in?
Who created X-Files? Chris Carter? Chris Carter, yeah.
Yes.
Davis Cooper's great.
Yeah, absolutely. Is he in a Bourne movie?
Probably.
He falls under the same blanket as
or umbrella, I should say, as Tom Skerritt.
Yes, yeah.
You're always glad to see him when he shows up.
Yeah. Oh, thank God.
Oh, God.
Chris Cooper's here.
Oh, thank God.
Now I can relax.
Thank God.
Tom Skerritt from Picket Fences is here.
Yes.
He was great in Adaptation, Chris Cooper.
He was missing those teeth.
That's right.
He was the actual.
Oh, that's right.
He was the archetype.
Yeah.
The Bayou guy.
Dave, do you have an overheard?
Oh, yeah. He's stalling for do you have an overheard? Yeah.
Are you stalling for time?
Overheard?
Me?
Geez.
Yeah, I mean, like,
we have overheards.
You can say we go back a ways.
So I...
This is barely an overheard this is something my my five-year-old daughter said
uh we were watching i let the kids sleep in on the weekend so i can watch the news in the
morning without them knowing about it but uh poppy uh she wakes up i want her to sleep she she won't do it yeah she's like dad
nah you don't get any break yeah no time make me now it's pancake time um and so uh but i was like
okay you're up but i'm i do want to watch five minutes of the news. Is that okay? And she's like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And so I start watching the news,
and they're showing the truckers shutting down the city,
which I totally support.
I think they, you know, I know they haven't been forced to get a vaccine,
but they feel like they have been, that's that's enough yeah that's
that's rough on them um do you know that realize realize realize well yeah what did we say that on
the air no i think it was off here yeah about local radio dj local dj who uh lost his job because he went on a i mean the child dj yes the
canada yeah vancouver's famous child dj yeah child carson and who said in his rant to get fired
he didn't even say realize realize real lies yeah he said we need to realize that real eyes recognize real lies
and then he repeated it i'm gonna say that again we need to realize that real eyes recognize real
lies you would think that he would pre do a pre-record and listen to it and just make sure. Oh, I did that wrong.
I will be performing at Cafe du Soleil's slam poetry night next week.
You don't think Kid Carson and Kid Rock are related, do you?
They might be.
I'd like to think they are.
Anyway, for people not in Vancouver, this local DJ,
who's been like a very popular morning show host very popular morning show like a father to me
it remains that way
he's been uh like for 20 years he's been a on like one of the biggest pop music stations he's
been the morning host and uh like i know people who are like i can't believe he said that i grew up with him it was
like he was my guy i listened to every day there's i've heard so many people talking about it in
different uh like just in different conversations that i've heard a snippet of so many people are
talking about i had no idea it was such a big yeah he's you know it's like if bro jake did it right yeah it's like finding out tarzan dan is
anti-vax yeah did you guys get tarzan dan out here yeah we had him on yt yeah we had him on ytv yeah
yeah okay good just want to check it's like finding out the champ is anti-vax it says pardon
uh anyway these are local radio references for for no one it's like finding out constable bob was anti-vax but you
know if you uh want to become a canadian you have to do that test and uh there's definitely a
question about bro jake
ytv hit list it's funny how shitty local uh radio and tv seems but everybody has it. But like, if you're not,
but in Canada,
the place,
yeah,
in Canada,
the problem is that it's national.
It seems like local.
It's like finding a Nicholas Pickless is anti-vax.
Now I see that you've beaten the ice level of Donkey Kong.
Also,
did you know that there's fluoride in the water?
Guys, I'm halfway done my overhead.
So we were watching the news and there were these trucker protests and Poppy's sitting next to me.
And she sees these guys yelling, freedom, freedom, freedom.
And she says, why are they yelling burrito, burrito?
Because they're delicious, Poppy.
Go back to bed.
I mean, that is a protest we're all getting behind.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Four burritos.
Yeah.
We're bringing in the War Measures act to shut down these burritos yeah the great no guac walkout of 2022
the no guac out why is guac extra yeah exactly guac free guac free free the guac oh man that's good president says we can only order from mucho
burrito we'll have none of that yeah we're a chronic tacos country and we always have been
that's what the founders want yeah we man one of our founders of this country yeah what are your uh
uh describe your dream burrito.
That's big.
Um,
I'll take a walk.
Yeah.
Boom,
boom, boom,
boom,
boom.
I'll take a walk with my center face.
Um,
probably,
I mean,
it would be,
there would be guacamole in it for sure.
I would go like whatever cheese amount they put in double that
some black beans some sort of delicious fake meat that you can't really it's got the right texture
uh then you know your your your lettuces your tomatoes lettuce eh uh or coleslaw if they have
cabbage i'll put some cabbage in um boy I wouldn't have any rice in it.
It would just be delicious foods, no rice base.
It just would be.
I love rice.
Yeah?
Yeah.
What would your ideal burrito be?
Okay.
Boy, I've got a six-inch Italian cheese and herb.
I would get pickles yeah
double the cheese toasted
and olives
I went to
I got a hot dog from a hot dog
stand and
the guy was making
was this outside the art gallery?
yes
there's no other hot dog stands in our neighborhood
it was over on main street it was on main street hot is this the way was this the one outside uh
the uh yeah yeah and the guy's a real character the guy that works there he's a lot of fun to
talk to but i asked him about his homemade ketchup and then he was like you'll love it it's so hot
and i was like no no thank you i don't uh i don't want that and then when he brought the hot dog he's like i'm just
gonna put a drip on the end and see how you like it and you know what too hot too spicy kyle dream
burrito dream burrito i'm gonna piss off a lot of people i like a lot, basically a burrito to me is just like throwing a bunch of stuff into a wrap.
So rice, beans, guac, pico de gallo, some sort of pulled meat.
You know what?
Throw some French fries in there. Wow.
Okay.
San Diego style.
That's like a California thing.
Yeah, San Diego.
Yeah.
Just the bigger, the better.
Like I need to feel sick to my stomach after I eat a burrito.
That's how you know it's been a good burrito. think that's a good burrito i i uh i agree with you
um rice and beans are your base so you don't yeah well you know what graham do whatever you
want like i'm not here to police other people's burritos yeah opbs yeah you know me uh what's up
with uh your overheard situation here it is i didn't have
one i didn't have one until i was going downtown for an appointment and i was on the train and uh
the earth gives exactly what you need you know you put it out there it comes back to you
um and it was a guy scarcity is created by capitalists there are enough overheards oh
you're right that's true um this uh this was a guy talking to his two friends about his girlfriend
and he said she tries to help me no matter what it makes me feel like chewbacca
does chewbacca need help i don't know i don't know if that's famously a chewbacca trait
he needs translation yeah he needs translation
i mean he can't fly the millennium falcon by himself can he i think so interesting
i mean there are all those scenes in the original trilogy where a character goes maybe you should
go talk to chewbacca he seems like he needs a friend right now or maybe you should drive
chewbacca's drunk Chewbacca's drunk again oh I love it
yeah I think that's mainly what he can do
is fly the Millennium Falcon
I thought he was a co-pilot
I didn't know he could pilot it himself
I think co-pilot is just like
it doesn't mean you're less than
it means you're
equals
I think like if Chewbacca or if Han Solo needs to go back and you know It doesn't mean you're less than. It means you're equals. That's right.
Yeah.
I think if Han Solo needs to go back and, you know.
I think you pick up the mistakes of the pilot.
You're like, oh, he did this, but you don't tell the pilot what he did wrong.
Yeah.
If Han ever needs to go back and, you know, drop a Wookie.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.
So somebody dropped
a Wookiee in the pool,
you see.
For sale,
one pair of goggles
covered in Wookiee.
They've been Wookieed near.
Someone Wookieed
near these goggles.
The Wookiee cookie.
Now we also have overheards sent in to us from all over this great land of ours. near these goggles. The Wookie Cookie.
Now we also have overheards sent in to us from all
over this great land of ours.
Earth.
Not Mordor
or wherever.
It's not the
underground or whatever the hell it is in
Stranger Things. The bottom half.
The bottom half.
The round and round you're you're getting so close yeah but i i like it i always keep it this close like the bottom
the bottom half it's like when you do the thing we're like would you rather be a top half horse
or bottom half oh sure and which how do you put a pair of pants on a dog?
This first overheard comes from us for Matt right here in Vancouver.
Hey, Matt.
Yeah, the Yoko Ono exhibit.
And the spicy ketchup.
That's right. And I'll tell you,
it's a little too spicy.
Boy, I think I might get a hot dog tomorrow.
Hell yeah. Drink yourself. This morning, while waiting for the R4 bus little too spicy um boy i think i might get a hot dog tomorrow hell yeah drink yourself um
this morning while waiting for the r4 bus at vancouver's joy station
that's the uh the r2d2's older brother who's a bus r4 bus r4 bus too
um a man riding an electric moped drove into line for the bus
while loudly playing don't you wish
your girlfriend was hot like me by the pussycat dolls yeah and he could hear you could hear him
singing along to the song at times mostly on that don't you don't you baby don't you and then in
bracket says no the moped was not the size that would be accepted on the bus wow yeah um i'm first of all i didn't know we had buses
that had numbers in their in their oh letters you mean yeah sorry letters yeah r4 i knew we had
numbered buses but we got the b line we do have the b line but those are that's just the 99
that's right it is just a yeah it's just a name from the 99 The beeline is just slang
It's cool slang
What is the R4 button?
Was this in Vancouver?
Yeah, apparently it goes from Vancouver
It's Joy Station
Joy Station, if you're looking to get a not great pizza slice
And the fear of being stabbed
I recommend Joy Station
Also, if you want more Vancouver references,
check out Kid Carson's
new podcast.
Goes to UBC. Goes to the university
from Joy Station.
Wow, that's a track.
It is a track.
This next one comes from Cormac in Philadelphia.
Hi, Cormac.
This is an overseen.
I was looking at reviews of a small antique store on Google,
and there was a one-star review that said,
not familiar with this place,
but do recall Liberace frequenting the antique shop
on these two blocks whenever he was in town.
So why give it a one-star review you
homophobe yeah yeah like this reminds you of a place that was a different place but liberace
shop there and that's a nice memory yeah yeah that's something to hold on to to fill you with
joy you were under the candelabra you consider yourself lucky for sharing a candelabra with this
guy if liberace was around today, I would
see him every time he was in town. If he was traveling.
Or I'd go to Vegas and see him once a year.
Sure. Yeah.
How could you not?
Who's our Liberace now?
Uh, Ben Folds?
Yeah, Ben Folds. He wears
those fancy outfits.
Did Liberace have a song
about abortion as well?
it was way more on the nose
very very unpopular
on the radio and he was against it
I don't know if Liberace was a touring
man
I think of him as a Vegas
he's a residency
we had at the local um
at the orpheum theater here there's there's like a wall of fame oh yeah and there's only about
four names on it and it's uh ravine oh yeah the illusionist yeah what not impossible the
impossible is then also a mentalist yeah uh there was uh
nana muskuri greek singer nana muskuri every record bin you'll ever look in has at least
one nana muskuri old toy trains little toy tracks uh bob hope bob hope would come here and
uh famous piano musician famous piano comedian the mr bean of the 88 keys yes victor borg
i used to laugh so hard because there was a commercial on selling like the cassette the
best of victor borga uh-huh and there's the one where he's playing this crazy song and it's it's
like all it's familiar but not too familiar and then he flips it upside down and it's it's like all it's familiar but not too familiar and then he flips it upside down
yeah yeah no wonder that you you saw david carverville three times we were seeing victor
borga ads we lived in different cities and saw the same ad for victor borga there was a gag where he falls off a stool
and then he opens the stool and he puts a seat belt on
the clown prince of piano victor borga good lord god love him
and did you do three overheards yet nope this is the is the last one. Luke from Staten Island.
I was at a Rob Zombie outdoor show a few years back.
Oh, sure.
The only kind of Rob Zombie show.
Absolutely.
I hope it wasn't a graveyard.
Standing in front of a group of women who are celebrating a bachelorette party or something similar.
There's so many layers to that go after rob zombie finished living dead girl one of them yelled yeah that was on my bucket list you gotta do it you gotta fulfill it um
it's not even his most famous song i uh i would go to a rob zombie concert i think sure i didn't
know he was still touring.
I thought he was just a movie maker.
Yeah, film director.
Would you leave after Dragula, then?
I would know.
Well, I heard it.
I mean, that would be the encore Dragula, I feel like.
Yeah.
He's going to keep you in his ears to the end.
Is he going to play some songs from White Zombie?
Yeah.
Is he going to play more human than human?
I hope so.
Oh, you mean like he's not just gonna do
his solo stuff he's gonna do yeah yeah i think so i think i'd say when you see paul mccartney
he's gonna do the beatle he's not just gonna do wings but when he does the crowd goes nuts
and for some reason every time he comes to vancouver he's gonna do his duet with diana
crawl yes famous i was at that concert i was at both concerts the one with jimmy fallon tripping
balls no i wasn't at that one oh yeah but uh but i saw him at the bc place and then at uh rogers
arena both times with diana crawl diana crawl we saw in the audience with her husband elvis costello
who also did a duet with Paul McCartney on an album.
We didn't get to see that, though.
No.
Interesting.
Well, she's our jazz chanteuse.
She is our local jazz chanteuse.
Okay.
Okay, guys.
We've had enough local references.
Now it's time to do three final overheards.
These are the phone call ones.
If you want to call us, in addition to overhears that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us uh in addition over here's that are written and we also accept your phone calls if you want to call us i felt like that was wrong our phone number is
1-844-779-7631 that's one spy pod one like these people have hey guys this is m from ohio um i just
remembered an overheard from i think it was like last summer. My wife and I went to, like, this board game parlor where you just, like, pay a couple bucks,
and you get access to the, like, board game library, and you, you know, take whatever you want.
And there was a table across from us with, like, a few kids, and they were playing, like, a Pictionary-type game.
I don't know what it was called, but one of the kids like pulled out a topic card.
And she was like, okay, TV drama.
And the other kid, like obviously under pressure, he was like, TV drama, TV drama.
Corey in the house.
And the other kid was just like, okay.
And then they moved on.
I just thought that was very cute and honestly very accurate.
Yeah.
Okay, love you guys.
Bye.
Is this about the kid that lives in the White House?
Yeah, it's a drama.
It's a very serious drama.
It's a spinoff from...
West Wing?
That's a Raven.
Yeah.
He's got to solve the crisis in Kosovo and then go to a Yo-Yo Ma
concert
and he's also
Fred Savage's younger brother
he's got
a date with Topanga
nice we should all be so lucky
doesn't Topanga she teaches
she teaches
math to gals no that's danica that's
the that's winnie cooper oh wonder years who was i thinking of oh right you're thinking of winnie
cooper yeah also apparently that blossom is quite smart yeah well she has a show where she likes
cats yeah she has a show where she uh uhopardy. Yeah. Never heard of it.
Is that a fish or is it still up
in the air? Ken Jennings is
there quite often.
I think they're waiting for one of them to get cancelled
first. Remember how
fast he became
the host and then
not. No one wanted that guy.
Nobody wanted him, but it's just such a
producer. Yeah. It was like very Shakespearean, like, now I am the host. be not no one wanted that guy nobody wanted him but it's just such a producer him yeah yeah it
was like very shakespearean like now i am the host i've waited in the wings until burnham would come
to dunsinane or whatever what's what's what happens to mcbeth
i think i'm pretty close i didn't see the new Macbeth
no me neither
they played it at the local theater for a long time
they really tempted me
but it's online why would you
oh is it online?
it's on Apple Plus
but I want to go to a movie theater
Alicia sent me a
link to a review
by the other Coen brothers saying like what a bag of shit this
i mean it's not real but it's just him like my brother or crapula i call him now or whatever
uh the new the theater now has uh drive my car i might go see that yeah i think i might go see it
i don't know the. Thing one about it.
I know it's three hours long. And there's a picture
of a guy in a car. It's all about the Beatles song,
right? Yeah. And a little bit about
that Prince song. It's about Yoko Ono. It's Japanese,
so it might be. You might have Yoko Ono.
Yeah? Okay. Alright.
Alright, enough, enough, enough. Here's your
next phone call. Hi, Dave
and Graham and possible guests.
This is Anna calling from Portland, Oregon.
And I am walking my dog, remembering something I oversaw today while I was driving home.
There was a car that was passing me, going very fast in the left lane.
In their windshield was a very distinct yellow parking ticket.
And then when I looked at the driver and the passenger,
the driver was leaned over,
taking a very fat long rip
while the other person held on to the steering wheel.
And it left me laughing for a very long time.
Nice.
Although it's very dangerous.
But off I go.
Yeah.
We don't condone...
We don't condone fat bong rips whilst you drive.
Yeah, but in general, I do.
Why not just smoke a joint at the moment?
Why don't you just wait until you get where you're going?
Yeah, exactly.
I mean, I don't think that's really going get where you're going yeah exactly i mean i don't
think that's really going through their head but a fat bong rip yeah so much glass take the wheel
while i do this myself the passenger isn't even just setting it up and like here put your mouth
on it nah dude you gotta do it yourself i'll hold the wheel. You do the rest. You know the rules. Take the wheel.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I can honestly say I've never done a bong rope in a car.
In somebody's bathroom I have.
And woof, that was, you know, Hawaiian hot box style.
Oh, yeah.
Remember that?
Remember that was the only way you could get high?
Yeah.
Like, you just had to kill yourself in a humid bathroom.
Yeah.
Aaron McGee's house
That's the bathroom we used
We just had one little tiny tube
Of model glue
But we turned on the shower
And everyone got a little
But then everyone
All the like shower
The like shower curtain was
Brittle by the end of the night
From all the glue fumes
My brother used to Sniff model shower curtain was brittle by the end of the night. All the glue fumes.
My brother used to sniff.
Well, maybe. I don't know.
But he used to drive.
Sometimes he'd be driving and he would
just suddenly take his hands off the wheel
and say, you drive.
Very funny.
Yeah. No drugs, though.
No drugs.
Final overheard. Hi, Dave. hi dave hi graham possible guest this is gary calling from atlanta i'm a list driver and i was just taking some people to
their destination and they were talking about what kind of cars they like and they just passed a guy who was driving an Alfa Romeo and one of the guys
said
that's the car I want. He's
living good. He's got a mustache.
You know he's living good.
It's true.
If you're allowed to have a mustache
24-7, whatever
job you're in, you've got it made.
Yeah. And an Alfa Romeo.
An Alfa Romeo. Have a mustache. Did I say Alfa Romeo? job you're in you've got it made yeah and you drive for romero and alfa romeo hell yeah mustache
did i say alfa romero george alfa romero you think of caesar romero he also had a mustache
um one thing that i did pick up on watching the olympics is almost all of the ski jump people
have mustaches and it's it's good yeah that's they all drive alfa romeos i'm not sure it's not alfa romero
oh i don't know i'm confused i i'm too poor to know i don't know never seen it they're that
expensive i think they're like not buying one i don't know i think might be like a fiat
oh really i don't know. They don't.
I think they're very unreliable, but that might just be their reputation from 30 years ago.
But you're buying it for the looks.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're keeping it for the drive.
Well, that brings us to the end of this episode of the podcast.
Kyle, thank you so much.
Don't get rid of them too fast because I want to
I want to
I have pulled up alphamomeo.ca
Oh, okay, yeah.
.ca
I need the Canadian version.
Yeah, we can only get Canadian websites.
Yeah, no, they are expensive.
Seems like they only seem to have two cars.
And the cheapest
they start at $50,000.
Holy crap. And you need a mustache to buy it. You do need a mustache to buy it. and the cheapest they start at $50,000 holy crap
and you need a mustache to buy it
you do need a mustache to buy it
and you have to call it your flavor saver
that's the rules
I don't make them
say it
Kyle thank you so much for being our guest
this was so much fun
thank you so much for letting me be your guest
and if people want to
find you where can where can you be tracked down what where you're doing fun stuff uh these days
i'm picking it back up on my instagram so you can follow me on that at kyle finds f-i-n-e-s also on
twitter not as as i said to you guys earlier if you want to just watch me complain to corporations, that's what I do on Twitter.
I like it.
I'm the opposite.
I love corporations.
That's true.
Dave's always writing to 3M and saying.
I'm saying you're doing a great job.
Oh, boy, that tape is so sticky.
I like that both sides of the tape are sticky.
And thank you, everybody out there listening we should mention uh as we
mentioned before that we're going to be in edmonton uh doing a live podcast as part of the
winterruption festival which it'll be spring by the time we get there it'll be spring disruption
by then but come see us in edmonton there's a go to stop podcasting yourself.com there's a link to tickets on uh this episode post uh they posted a few weeks
ago that there's low tickets low ticket alert well maybe they meant low sales alert and so yeah
maybe that's probably what they meant hey everybody low sales sales alert no one likes these guys uh
i know you know it's been to any live events in two years and you're probably starved for it.
Maybe you want to go see these guys?
No?
They're playing the sympathy vote.
No? Okay, we're not going to force you.
Well, thank you everybody out there for listening.
Come on back next week
for another episode of
Stop Podcasting Yourself. week for another episode stop podcasting yourself maximum fun.org comedy and culture
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