Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 73 - Becky Johnson
Episode Date: July 27, 2009Crafter and improviser Becky Johnson joins us as we go crazy from the heat, get depressing, and talk about Square One....
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Hi everybody, this is Dave. This is my last chance to remind you that we are doing a live podcast recording Tuesday, July 28th.
That's probably, depending on when you downloaded this, within 24 to 36 hours.
Tuesday, July 28th at 8pm at the Biltmore Cabaret in Vancouver, 12th and Kingsway.
Alright, thanks everybody. On with the show.
Hi, he's Dave Shumka.
And he's Graham Clark.
And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself.
Woo!
Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 73 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and joining me as always is the man who you could stand up at the gates of hell and he won't back down, Mr. Dave Shumka.
Like from the Tom Petty song?
Correct.
Oh, go, go, go Tom go tom petty that's not a reference
no no but i'm just you know you go you go tom petty you could write a song about tom petty
called go go go tom petty yeah that'd be a good name for a band that you've never heard of but
you're like no i heard they're pretty good yeah they're they're the next big thing and joining
us today uh our guest uh all the way, hails currently from Toronto.
Yeah, sure.
A comedian of the improv variety, and also a crafter, and a blogger.
Okay.
And I'm assuming you take a lot of the photographs that are on your blog.
I do a lot of things.
So you're a photographer as well, and a longtime chum of Mr. Dave Shumka.
Yeah, a fellow high school alumnus, I think.
Miss Becky Johnson.
It's me.
What a great name.
We were saying earlier, I was saying to Dave, that Becky Johnson sounds like the character
name in a play.
You want to know something?
Yes, I do.
About my name, guys?
Well, because I used to think I was like an actor for real.
Well, because I used to think I was like an actor for real.
Well, you know, like I grew up in Vancouver and thought, hey, someday I could play a small part in the X-Files or something.
But I was, so I would, before, yeah, exactly.
These were my aspirations.
Everybody's dream.
So before I had like started doing crafts like five years ago, I would introduce myself as an actor.
And there was like a period of, I guess, three or four years years where people would like I'd tell them I'd have introduced myself and then they'd be like oh
what's your stage name like there was an assumption that Becky Johnson wasn't a good
enough name to have I think it's a great and so I would just say like I use my name it's okay for
me or whatever and then after like years after all of this I kept thinking back on this time and I
finally came up with a comeback years later.
A snappy answer to a stupid question.
Yeah.
But it was like way later.
And it was that I made up a stage name for myself,
um,
that I was,
it's Anastasia explosion.
And so that was going to be my stage name that I never used.
And so now if anyone ever,
it doesn't happen,
but if they ask me,
Anastasia Explosion,
and I just try to say it with a straight face
and it just sort of matches my librarian
persona.
Okay, let me interrupt you. We need to play a theme song.
Oh!
Get to know us!
Thank you.
You were saying that
you had, for a while,
you were introducing yourself as an actor.
And Dave, how do you introduce yourself?
When people say, what is it that you do?
Do you say, I'm a podcaster?
I don't really do much.
No, I don't tell people what I do.
No, but when they probe you, you're at a party or something, and people go, what do you do?
What do you say?
Oh, yeah.
It's hard you make it super uncomfortable so that the person backs well i've tried to start telling them things because i found
that saying like nothing meant that i didn't get hired for very much you know and like this is you
know network i live in toronto so networking is real it actually is real sure as opposed to here where networking is just
like a fun game to play or something i guess i'm really not a fan of it i don't know what you mean
that's a syndrome for anybody who's listening from uh the states or elsewhere in canada some
people move to toronto with it with with the deep hatred of vancouver and there's this whole as the
motivation there's this whole like toronto vancouver rivalry montreal is actually involved With a deep hatred of Vancouver as the motivation to move.
There's this whole Toronto-Vancouver rivalry.
Montreal is actually involved in a different way.
I characterize the cities as Toronto being the older sibling
who's really responsible and not very cool, but gets a lot done.
Montreal is the absolute party animal, annoying younger sibling,
but everyone in New York wants to go there kind of thing.
Wants to go to the younger sibling?
Yeah, because they're more fun, but it's like really frustrating
because they don't work as hard, but they always get more success.
And then Vancouver, I would say,
is like the middle child to move to the West Coast, you know.
But it definitely harbors resentment,
has probably a good job, wears a lot of fleece with the money they make.
But I also think this whole Toronto thing...
I like hanging out in resentment, Barbara.
That's my favorite.
In old Terminal City.
But my feeling about this Toronto-Vancouver resentment
is that it all comes from people just moving back and forth
between the cities.
Because my mom's from Toronto, and she hates Toronto,
and I'm from Vancouver, and I don't hate it,
but I definitely prefer living out east.
I've heard a lot of that
because I didn't grow up...
But it's not actual Torontonians.
They don't give a shit
about Vancouver.
Yeah, that's why I'm here.
Yeah, it's just like
people like me
who are like,
I tried to get things done
in Vancouver for years
and I couldn't
and I left.
Well, that was more
the syndrome I was pointing to
where I know a lot of people
who have left Vancouver
with something happened.
They feel like Vancouver
was an abusive boyfriend.
It's even better
when people from Toronto
are unhappy
and they decide
they want to move to Vancouver
because they've heard
all this great stuff.
And they come out here
and it's just a bunch of kayakers.
It's not what they expected.
They're not...
That's literally what you find here.
That we're doing this podcast
currently from a kayak. A kayak, yeah. Three kayak three-person i think i kind of stole that line from evelyn perry who's a singer-songwriter
in toronto she was like she well i wanted to give her props but she was like yeah you come out here
and all you're met with are just joggers who aren't helping you with your problems at all
because they got everything sorted out they're happy yeah yeah we got it all figured out they're
gonna go do the gross grind on the weekend
you and i i think graham and i have it the most figured out of anyone here you're getting stuff
done i'm really impressed we are really getting it done we were just saying on the drive over here
how uh when you're in vancouver uh very much i think dave and i are in this very kind of uh
particular class of people out here that kind of Vancouver is by and large wasted on us.
In terms of...
Like all the rock climbing.
The rock climbing,
the being outdoors,
the hiking,
the swimming,
the kayaking.
Enjoying the summer.
Yeah.
We were just saying,
like, summer here,
100% wasted on both of us.
When he called me this morning,
I was watching a documentary,
and I know you were calling
from indoors somewhere.
Yeah.
So that's our summer day.
Yeah, you should move to Toronto because the rent's the same.
Sure.
Come on, guys.
But the summer's even worse in Toronto, isn't it?
Well, this year...
The summer's pretty sticky, and there's garbage everywhere from what I hear.
There's garbage everywhere.
But this year, apparently, it's rainy and cold, and everyone there's complaining.
But I personally hate summers in toronto we don't
have air conditioning and it's like it's the kind of heat that doesn't go away when the sun sets
like here if it's warm it's rarely warm overnight right no yeah toronto is really like it's always
uh kind of sticky sweaty and so people are complaining i'm just like you know
there was a turning point for me a few years ago with maybe it's global warming but like the
winters became tolerable because i would always remember what summer was like if i was
freezing my ass off summer is just grotesque now for anyone uh not from vancouver when we complain
about the heat uh they should know that it's in the high 20s in celsius so in fahrenheit my family
crazily complaining right now and i was like this is the nicest weather ever in the world anywhere.
Well, I can still find my way to complain.
It's just the way I was made.
Now, Becky.
Yes, Dave.
I haven't seen you in a very long time.
It's been a while.
But I've been reading your blog.
Maybe reading is not the right term.
I checked out the blog as well.
Skimming?
Skimming.
I look at the pictures.
Yeah, okay.
And you've been on
Seems like a non-stop
Crafting road trip
Yes it's true
It is true
But don't I look
Do I look the same?
Do I look better?
You look relaxed
Okay
I just wanted to know
How I looked since the last time
You saw me
Like
Ten years ago
Yeah maybe
I'm just gonna guess
Better
You look the same
I think you look great
Okay thanks
Nah no problem
So now that we've got that
Out of the way I look a little heavier Well. Better. You look the same. I think you look great. Okay, thanks. No, no problem. So now that we've got that out of the way.
I look a little heavier.
Well.
Disagree.
I see you're wearing vertical stripes.
You're trying to counter that.
Well, you guys look.
I mean, maybe you do look heavier, but I think I met you when you were 12.
Yeah, probably.
I think you were a bit slighter when you were 12.
You're not a 12-weight anymore.
No.
That's why you're giving all your junior pants to me.
It's a road trip lifestyle yeah i
um i guess i don't know a few years ago i i kind of realized this was possible to go on the road
do craft fairs meet with sort of independent stores this is what i stopped doing when i
or i started doing when i stopped being an actor i started making crafts and and you call yourself
the correct term is craft well i don't i'm not too picky about terms
but it's it's kind of interesting because i always wondered like this that is a new movement
the craft thing it's very interesting and diverse and i'm like well what do you call
something yeah the indie craft scene i think uses the word crafter i think it was just like
to have a new word although i i would rather align myself with weirdos quilters instead of
create be like hey we're so different from homesteaders.
Because, you know, hopefully we're not.
Anyway.
Because I put a skull on my thing.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, it is.
Yeah, skulls, squids.
Squids are a big thing.
Do you do any steampunk?
Is it squids because of what?
Steampunk.
Steampunk.
Don't even get me started.
I wish my life partner was here because he's always called a steampunk because he dresses in old clothes.
But we didn't know what it meant.
And then we found out and we're not too excited by this.
My favorite explanation of steampunk is I was like, I'm not sure what steampunk was.
And just somebody said, Wild Wild West.
And I was like, yep, okay.
Gotcha.
Wild Wild West.
Like the early stuff of like, oh, a mahogany laptop.
Like, that's kind of cool.
But like putting a bunch of clock parts and resin doesn't excite me that much.
I don't want to offend people who do that, but I don't like what they do.
We do have a lot of clock parts listeners out there.
We'll have the steampunks listening.
I saw this guy in...
Clock parts is my favorite whole song.
Yeah.
I saw a guy at like an event in Brooklyn and he basically had one of those brass like plant
misters tied to his thigh.
Plant misters?
Yeah.
Oh, for misting plants.
Not like a Mr. Plant.
Sorry.
I didn't get it.
I didn't get what he would need that for.
Was it like in a holster?
African violets or something.
Yeah, it was in a leather holster on his leg.
Maybe he has a lot of
epiphytes at home or something maybe he's in the league of extraordinary misters
extraordinary horticulturalists so you go from state a lot of the photographs were from america
yeah it's easier to tour in america state to state city to city and what so like what what
happens what's the process because this is a whole world
that we have no yeah real insight into okay well what happens is i guess in the past decade there's
been this proliferation of indie craft which has resulted in a lot of people starting up their own
businesses and then also a lot of indie craft shows sprouting up all over the place um and
there's enough now or over the past four years i guess since i've been touring
that you can really make a circuit out of them um in between craft fairs is meeting with like
independent bricks and mortar businesses that sell this stuff and so it's it's a very big uh
community that i've managed to to plug into uh this tour that i'm on right now was sort of
centered around uh the renegade craft Fair, which started in Chicago, added
a show in San Francisco last year and a show in LA this year.
So they're a week apart, so you can do this little West Coast circuit, and people can
come out from the East, and it's worthwhile to do.
So that's where we were last weekend with San Francisco, the weekend before LA.
And so we had to basically get ourselves in a car, like a 1987 Pontiac station wagon to LA from Toronto
and we had wild sounds like a movie I've seen at one point we yeah it's the Thelma and Lou youth
uh vacation is what I was thinking of yeah I like that one but yeah so that's what we were doing and
we kind of we put some other events in I do perform begrudgingly every once in a while still
I did an improv festival in Minneapolis with my partner, Graham Wagner.
Different Graham.
Okay, yeah.
Yeah, and we perform as Iron Cobra, so we were in Minneapolis.
Oh, you're in Iron Cobra?
Yeah, I do everything.
I didn't realize that.
You guys, a couple years ago, were up for, what's it called, the Tim Sims Award.
Oh, that was quite a few years ago.
Yeah, yeah.
See, I'm like a comedy vault up here.
I didn't realize that you were an Iron Cobra.
I know. I am a few
different people inhabiting
the same body. That's one of them
is Becky Cobra. Oh, well, that's very
cool. Now, what
do you produce? What craft?
What do you make?
How do you make an American quilt?
That's what Dave's trying to ask.
I make, in the craft world,
the bread and butter of my business,
the Sweetie Pie Press,
is making one-inch pinback buttons.
I do them myself,
and then I commission other artists
to do limited runs and stuff like that.
And then I also do random other things
like screen printing,
and I crochet, and i teach crochet
and i do stuff like that the more expensive stuff is harder to sell but more rewarding to make but
small disposable cheap things they're more popular when the craft world is there any kind of feeling
towards like uh any resentment towards like the art world because like they have galleries and
people come in and they fawn over stuff
and you seem like it's a very
journeyman kind of thing that you have to do.
German? Journeyman.
But also kind of German.
In that you're industrious.
I heard German. My apologies.
But you have to go from town to town
and you're selling these things.
Like a German.
Like a traveling German snake oil salesman.
Is there any resentment in the craft world
towards the art gallery or whatever world?
Or is there any connection there at all?
Well, there's probably some resentment
when people try to cross over from one to the other.
I know in Toronto,
I work with a group called city of craft and we
run an annual uh show and like a craft fair and we've added on to an installation work like craft
based installation work to kind of blur those lines and and uh so like craft work like but like
huge like i'm trying to think of what we had a group called street knit the first year came and
they they knit scarves for the homeless or they encourage people to knit scarves for the homeless and they
in the space of the one day of our fair knit an entire house what yeah no for the homeless well
they it was like confused it was like yeah well their their slogan was because you can't knit
shelter so they were like what if we do?
I'm confused.
Wait a minute.
They were supposed to knit scarves. Okay, I can explain it better.
They accidentally knitted a house.
It was a publicity.
It was like a publicity stunt.
But the entire house was made out of strips that would be taken apart and were scarves.
So it wasn't just a big waste hole.
Okay, yeah, because it sounded like the original vision was like, let's make scarves.
And somebody was like, let's make scarves, and somebody was like, let's make cups.
Let's just make one small non-sturdy house inside a theater.
This is going to really help.
No, they organized all these people to come with scarves, and I think they had given dimensions so that they could all be sewn together.
And the idea was to get the media out.
Like, they're a two-pronged organization.
One is to put scarves on cold people, and then the other one is to get the media
talking about the issue of homelessness in Toronto
so to bring the media out for a big event
is also part of what they want to do
how many prongs is your organization?
I run a three prong organization
right?
so like a three
yeah it's a three
awesomeness is the first prong, which you know.
Right, it's the umbrella.
Yeah.
Awesomeness is the top one that covers everything else.
Hilarity is the other one.
Good one.
Social justice.
Social justice.
How did you know?
You went to my website.
You know.
Yeah.
Three prongs that I try to live all my decisions,
my general life through those three prongs.
How many prongs do you have?
I've got a number of prongs in different fires.
In the fires?
You're heating up your prongs.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
For what purpose?
It's a dangerous pronging.
What are you going to do with all these hot prongs?
Well, that's the name of my organization, Hot Prongs.
And the keynote speaker this year is Chris Pronger, so it's going to be...
I don't know who that is.
Famous hockey player.
He's a hockey player.
Oh.
Oh.
There's my retort.
So do you ever, you head down to the deep south?
Oh, yeah.
I love the south.
It seems to me that crafts would be incredibly popular down there.
Am I wrong?
Well, I haven't found...
The hotbeds for craft in the United States, I would say, are like Chicago, Portland, San Francisco.
Not to be unfair to everywhere else, but those are the places where it's easy.
In Chicago, they have deep dish crafts.
Yeah, totally.
Yeah, as opposed to those skinny, greasy crafts of New York.
Yeah.
Well, no no they're crispy
they're skinny and crispy yeah all right let's get to know me yeah dave what's going on buddy um
i saw a couple amazing animal things this week okay all right uh today not today last weekend
uh i was driving and i saw a car that had oh no, I saw a motorcycle
I saw a motorcycle
that had a sidecar
and in the sidecar
was a dog
wearing goggles
and then right behind it
the exact same thing
another motorcycle with the exact same
configuration. Do you think they knew each other?
Yeah, I think it was a name of that movie wild dogs no i think it was milo and otis too
hit the road yeah um and all right i'm trying to name this movie okay the other thing i saw
i was um parking my car the other day. Look, he's talking. Yeah.
And there was a... I was going to say cars too, but...
There was an injured crow on the ground.
And then as...
And I drove past it and I was parking
and there was a homeless guy.
Oh, God.
And he picked up the injured crow
and then as I got out of my car,
I saw he had it on his shoulder
and he had a new his shoulder and he was he
had a new friend oh uh it would be the sequel to that joe pesci movie where he's a homeless guy on
campus with honors too yeah i am with honors too me and me crow i'm gonna guess pirates of the
caribbean four pirates of the crow ruby yeah wow that's that's a powerful uh but wait a second i'm sorry he put a dead crow no no it was an
injured injured okay it just couldn't fly okay but it was gonna probably make it if it was taken
care of no it was gonna die well it's it was it was fairly injured uh it couldn't fly i i'm not a
a crow vet yeah yet But you're still in training
I think they're called crotologists
No, I mean a crow vet
I wasn't in the crow war
In Croatia
The Crow-A-Mian War
That's the war where Brandon Lee died
Oh
Yeah, too soon, apparently
Isn't this supposed to be a comedy podcast?
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Okay, I'm going to try to help you guys
I have a tendency to bring things down, I'm going to try to help you guys.
I have a tendency to bring things down,
so I'm going to make an effort. No, you're doing great.
Well, you watch where things will go if left to my own devices. Oh, what? Is it going to go into
dark places? Yeah, it's trouble.
I do this. Well, that's fine.
That's alright. I'm fine with it.
That's why we only got nominated for the Tim Sims.
You know what? We did not win. Tim Sims,
that's one of the strangest award things.
It's really great that they do it every year,
but the question that everybody always asks is,
who is Tim Sims?
He's Rory Tate, Circle Researcher.
Yeah, that's his claim to fame.
He was in a series of Reese's Pieces commercials.
No, to be fair to the memory of Tim Sims,
he also did a lot of live work.
Oh, absolutely. They even say that on the memory of Tim Sims, he also did a lot of live work. Oh, absolutely.
But they even say that on the page where you go, who is Tim Sims?
They're like, you may know him from, that's the first thing they say is he was in this series of,
if I did a series of commercials, I think I would want my live work or whatever put first
and then kind of down the page also.
But I think it speaks to the sort of problem of live
performances. Like some of the best people
who really specialize in live work, nobody ever
knows who they are. This is a downer.
Yeah. Okay. Yeah, she was
true. She was not kidding. That was the test.
I didn't talk about his death.
It was not me.
Well, Graham brought him back up and I didn't even know
he was dead until you turned it on.
Well, that's the award. We're trying. Well, maybe he's even know he was dead until you turned it on. Well, why would they give an award
in his honor?
Maybe he's rich.
That's true. That is one of the great
things about being rich, is that you can
possibly, conceivably, make
an award named after you.
Or a sports trophy.
Yeah, like, who is Stanley?
Lord Stanley.
Same guy that Stanley Park is named after.
I don't believe it.
Same one, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Same guy.
And John Superbowl?
Yes.
Oh, yeah, he was the inventor of bowls that can't break.
Yeah.
See, this is more fun.
I'm more than trying.
I'm trying.
Yeah, you did.
Yeah, exactly.
You didn't have to try very hard.
I know.
It seemed like it was seamless.
It comes easily, but it has to be conscious.
You know what it is?
It's this heat.
It's weighing us down.
I'm cold.
I liked your crow friend story.
I texted Graham on the...
Oh, I think it's probably my fault for talking about a disabled crow.
That's true.
Well, we have to cover these topics.
That's true.
You can't just weight wash him.
I texted Graham before this show, and I allowed him to wear short pants. Which rarely true. You can't just weight wash him. I texted Graham before this show
and I allowed him
to wear short pants.
Which rarely happens.
Yeah, we are.
We're all wearing
short pants.
Yeah.
But we're usually
pantsmen, Dave and I.
But this.
There are just
knees of flying
in this room.
Yeah, we're staunchly
in the knee camp.
Knee list camp.
Oh, you covering
your knees?
I'm covering my knees.
Yeah, Graham's
wearing capris.
I'm a gentleman. That was really dumb. Oh, you covering your knees? I'm covering my knees. Yeah, Graham's wearing capris. We're wearing more culottes.
That was really dumb.
Our capris pants, are they also known as pedal pushers or clam diggers?
Clam diggers.
All of.
Yeah, correct.
All of the above and below.
All right.
Hey, Graham.
Yeah, buddy.
Do we want to get to know you?
Yeah, buddy.
We, you and I, Dave.
Yeah.
We worked together this week. Two days. At your job. At the television show. You on you and I, Dave, we worked together this week.
Two days at the television show.
You're on TV.
I'm on TV.
So you won't die in obscurity like me and Tim Sims.
No, Tim Sims was on TV.
Why?
Why immediately did you bring it back to death?
I don't know.
She warned us.
We were fairly warned.
Is this therapy for you?
I don't know.
She warned us.
We were fairly warned.
Is this therapy for you?
Dave and I, for the first time, we've never worked together outside of... Well, we've worked comedy and podcasts, but we worked.
We were like Woodward and Bernstein.
We were desks next to each other.
Like a Lewis and Clark.
Or a Lois and Clark.
And yeah, so we were working on the show, and you did a great job.
Hey, thanks.
It was a lot of fun.
What's the show?
It's like a panel kind of current events.
Oh, I should be on that.
Yeah, well, everybody should be on it.
It's great.
And yeah, it was a lot of fun guesting for two days.
I have a new respect for Graham. Thank you.
To replace the old one.
The old one was getting a little musty.
One of the panelists was on
holiday for a week, so we had
a couple different people
subbing in for him, and
Dave did an amazing job. You were hilarious.
Yeah, I was pretty amazing.
He was funny when I met him at 12.
Oh, he's so funny. This guy guy my goodness and uh so there was that and uh which is great and the other thing i
did this week was i got for the first time in my life an epi pen so you have an allergy
yeah that would be one of the worst of the affectations. A vanity EpiPen.
Like people are like, hey, do you want to go out for dinner?
And you're like, I can't.
I'm allergic to everything in Thai food.
What are you allergic to?
Shellfish?
I'm allergic to all seafood and peanuts.
You should come up.
I'm like a soothsayer.
How did I guess all that?
Also, for anybody who's interested.
I am.
Grass, trees, molds, cats, dogs, any kind of animal. But you're not epi-allergic to that. I'm epi-aller cats dogs any kind of animal but you're not epi allergic to
that i'm epi allergic to any kind of nuts and seafood you should come up with a catchy song
for all your allergies like like a mnemonic yeah or or but like a really long one you mean like
the mcdonald's uh big mac yeah yeah yeah that one Sea fish Peanuts You know like
Sea fish
Peanuts
I'm just
The Animaniacs thing
Where they name all the countries
Oh yeah yeah yeah
My brother used to be able
To sing that whole thing
Wow
So he should have come up
With a whole list
And then come up with like
United States
Canada
Mexico
Panama
Haiti
Jamaica
Peru
Like that right
Yeah yeah yeah
As far as I can get
But Kit could do the whole thing
And he could burp out Most of the alphabet that's uh my brother is the real talent
what does your brother do tgi my brother uh i don't know what he's a bus boy at the sandbar
on granville island and a a real avid gamer
A real avid gamer.
You guys like that?
Well, we were just talking about,
what do you,
hey Dave, what do you,
when people say, what do you do?
What do you tell them?
Come full circle,
because we never answered that question.
I'm a real avid gamer.
Well, he relayed this story when he visited me in Toronto.
Kit's going to be so happy I mentioned him.
Is he?
Maybe.
Does he listen to this podcast?
He will when I tell him to.
Hi, Kit.
Hi, Kit.
But he came out to Toronto and he was relaying this story about how he competed in this rock band competition
at a local Vancouver music store.
And my brother is 27 years old now.
All right.
So are his friends.
And they were a team and they were
beat by, I think, a team that
was comprised of an 11-year-old,
a 9-year-old, a 7-year-old.
Ah, smush. And I think
they won, I think that
the 7-year-old, okay, I might be saying this wrong,
but I think the 7-year-old won some
MVP award and the award was a stand-up
bass.
A Chapman stick? It was probably and the award was a stand-up bass. A Chapman stick?
It was probably twice his size.
A stand-up...
Why would anybody think?
It was a music store.
No, I know.
You play rock band.
Don't you want to...
Yeah, but there's no stand-up bass in rock band.
Well, you already know those instruments.
Learn a new one.
I don't know.
I could also have this wrong.
I don't retain information very well
but you know what if either way that's the best possible prize that they could have given them
because it's like not only we're not going to reward your commitment but this video game more
than you yeah we're going to make it so that this instrument is going to be the most cumbersome
thing in your life every move you'll only be able to play music that is unpopular
exactly yeah you would know he could like tour with colin james
yep
oh americans just ignore that joke you won't understand what's happening that's fine
um anything else yeah I don't know.
I figured the...
Did you see a movie last night?
Oh, no.
I'm watching a movie right now.
At the moment?
Yeah, in my head.
So, Ken Kesey would have you believe
that all life is a movie
because of the way
that your brain processes images.
Wonderful over the cuckoo's nest.
Correct.
But this movie...
Electric Kool-Aid acid test. Ken Kesey's Nest. Correct. But this movie... Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test.
Ken Kesey's Guide to Fun.
Did you guys ever read that one?
Something Mary Pranksters.
Let's Go Bowling by Ken Kesey.
There's a movie called The Staircase,
which is a documentary in like eight or nine parts.
Is this going to be sad?
Because we are full of sad quotes.
It's about a murder, but it's phenomenal.
I don't want to be in the sad episode of your podcast.
Yeah, this might be the sad cast.
We're careening towards it.
Dave, do you have anything you want to cry about?
No, no, no, no.
Not me either.
Oh, I'm all cried out this summer.
Not me.
Dave and I watch Revolutionary Road together.
We do have Ghost Town on the PBR.
Last week, who was it who admitted to?
Me.
It was you.
I cried during Ghost Town starring Ricky Gervais.
I cried during Sister Act.
Really? During the big
song and dance number at the end? When the little one
has the big voice.
Oh!
Well, that little one, did she turn out to be
like a pop singer or some sort? I couldn't take it.
No, in Sister Act 2, Lauren Hill. Oh, Lauren Hill.
That's right. Is it my fault
or can we not stay on a topic?
Is this normal? No, it's fine. Is it my fault, or can we not stay on a topic? Is this normal?
It's fine.
You've listened to the podcast, yes?
I listen to one and a half.
So this is generally we bounce around.
That's how it goes.
I listen to Jason Bryden and Ryan Beal.
Oh, he's delightful.
Both of those guys.
As are you.
Lazy men, but really funny.
That's not supposed to mean.
But really funny.
No, it's like innate, natural talent.
You know who I heard has got talent?
America.
Is that true? Does Canada have talent yet? Not yet. No, but Canada like innate, natural talent. You know who I heard has got talent? America. Is that true?
Does Canada have talent yet?
Not yet.
No, but Canada thinks we can dance.
Well, that's why we have to move to LA, I guess.
Yeah, Britain's got it.
America's got it.
We haven't cut the wave yet.
Let's talk about Susan Boyle.
Have you seen this lady?
She's so frumpy.
Can I say something about her?
Sure, I hope so.
Why do I keep asking questions?
Okay, I have two news items about her that maybe you've already covered.
Probably.
They're probably not news if they're about her.
I'm going to let you into a little secret about my craft life.
I make buttons.
I've made now over 150,000 one-inch buttons.
Wow.
That's pretty good.
How many feet or miles is that?
10 billion miles.
Wow, okay.
Well, that can't be.
Anyway.
That to Matt doesn't figure it at all.
I really enjoy this work, but it's very tedious.
So I watch television while I make buttons.
And I don't have cable because I can't afford it
because I make buttons for a living.
And so I watch whatever television is on.
I'm going to sell my stock in Button Co.
In the Sweetie Pie Press.
L, L, whatever.
C.
Anyway, LLC, yeah. Anyway, so i watch a lot of television so i
watch like access hollywood before america went digital and i was watching this thing about susan
boyle yeah and and uh this woman this like access hollywood woman without flinching was like
and now a piece about susan boyle whom whom the British press is calling the hairy angel.
And she said it without, you know, like any irony, self-consciousness, anything.
Like this woman, they're calling this woman a hairy angel.
Then later I learned that like her life story has been optioned for a film and that she will be played.
It only gets exciting in the last five minutes.
She will be. Well, who knows? Maybe her life's exciting. It only gets exciting in the last five minutes. She will be...
Well, who knows?
Maybe her life's exciting.
It just wasn't on television.
But she will be played by Catherine Zeta-Jones.
Ah, yes.
Oh, wow.
That's perfect because...
I hate the world.
Catherine Zeta-Jones is so plain.
Is a hairy angel.
Catherine Zeta-Jones was involved in another one of those real life story adaptations into
movies was the story.
Of Zorro.
Yeah.
Exactly.
What was the one where Tom Hanks is the guy stuck in an airport?
Oh, The Terminal.
The Terminal.
That's a real story.
Castaway.
Castaway.
To the terminal.
But it was, that's a real story. She was also in that real story with Michael Douglas. Well, that's a real story.
She was also in that real story
with Michael Douglas.
Well, that's a real story.
Yeah, that's her life.
Yeah, marriage,
the real thing.
But yeah,
she,
but that was the point
I was going to make,
is that,
first of all,
the guy,
if you've ever seen a photo of him,
the guy that's stuck
in the airport in France,
doesn't look remote. There's nothing... Oh, the guy who lived there. Okay, now I know what in france doesn't look remote there's nothing oh
the guy who lived there okay yeah there's no indication that tom hanks would be the guy to
play him if anything it would be tony shalhoub honestly tony shalhoub he would totally be the
guy but uh katherine zeta jones the fact that there's some sort of romantic entanglement. The guy in the airport in France has been there so long that he is suffering from dementia.
And probably vitamin D.
Oh, yeah.
He's not a cute character.
Discrepancy of vitamin C.
He has a vitamin C discrepancy.
But he's a bit off.
But what about the Catherine Zeta-Jones character?
Well, there was no love affair.
There was no point where this...
That would be as if...
Movies are bullshit.
Let's just call bullshit on movies.
Except Up.
That thing was amazing.
Have you seen Up?
And Finding Nemo is probably true.
Yeah, Finding Nemo is based on a true story.
Can we talk...
Can we talk about fish being friends?
I was watching an Access Hollywood type show,
eTalk Daily, the Canadian equivalent,
and they did a segment.
Jennifer Aniston was seen with Hangover star Bradley Cooper.
Yeah, yeah.
Who wasn't?
Who?
I just don't know who that is.
Okay.
And she had previously been linked to John Mayer.
Heard that.
And then after reporting it, the reporter said,
and I think we can all agree, Bradley is better than John.
Which I thought, they don't ever cast value judgments on me.
It's not an editorial.
Let's bust it down.
Jennifer Aniston has gotten a lot of steam
out of being Jennifer Aniston.
Right?
Yeah.
That seems to be her
forward momentum
has all been just be...
Imagine being so famous
that all you have to do
is just be yourself.
I feel that that's how I live.
Yeah?
Yeah.
You're just yourself.
Whatever happens, happens.
And I'm so famous.
When she...
She was naked
on the cover of GQ
a few months ago.
Yes, I was. People were talking about how great... You were. But you were a lot more And I'm so famous. She was naked on the cover of GQ a few months ago.
Yes, I was.
People were talking about how great... You were.
But you were a lot more gratuitous about it.
She tried to keep it classy and you were all over the place.
I just stood in front of the magazine and had someone take a picture.
People were talking about how great she looks for 40.
But she's got $100 million.
A personal trainer, I bet.
I bet.
She probably does yoga no
kids no kids yeah she gets plenty of exercise plenty of exercise having sex with johnny botox
clorox clorox yeah she's got borax borax she's got some borax borat she's got all that stuff Whatever she wants She's got Ibex
Yeah she's got Ibex
A fax machine
Alright
We got one more
Turbo tax
Champ ex
Anthrax
Let's talk about the stairwell
What is it called now
The stairway? The staircase.
Stairway.
The staircase.
Stairface.
Scarface.
I don't like that this has turned into rhyme time.
I did that.
That was my fault.
What are we talking about?
There's nothing really
to talk about.
I think I capped it off.
It's about a murder
and it's going to bring
this rhyme time down.
We were done with this, Dave.
Why did you bring it back?
Why did you bring it back?
We should move forward into some overheards.
That's what I think.
Overheard.
So, overheards.
Things overheard.
Oh, what a novel concept.
Well, I mean, that's why we named it.
Becky, do you want to start us off?
Okay.
Well, Dave warned me about this segment.
I wouldn't say I warned you.
He informed me.
I must have overheard millions of things in my life.
Oh, I can't imagine that you haven't.
I've been lots of places, but the only things I could remember were pretty dark.
It was that...
Okay, I'll briefly say this one.
Briefly.
But I don't really want to get into it.
It was that I rode the streetcar in Toronto for a a while and I hadn't been because I was too poor.
So I was biking everywhere.
So I was riding the streetcar and then...
Too poor for transit.
Well, it's expensive.
It's like three bucks.
One way.
Okay.
Anyway.
I kept hearing the same sort of abusive conversation from a man delivered to a woman that basically
boiled down to this sentiment.
I totally fucking love you, but you're such a fucking slut
that's great well it was i was not amused i actually felt kind of sick in both and the
second time i was like really this is what the youth of today are doing how old were these youths
i don't know anyone younger than me is a youth okay they were like in their 20s and it was this
terrible sentiment anyway so i don't really want to harp on that.
So I'm going to tell you a story from years ago that kind of relates to my epic traveling.
Oh, right.
In a more like seminal kind of way.
So I was crossing the border at the Peace Arch crossing here between whatever Surrey and Blaine.
Yeah.
The Canada-US border.
Yes, exactly. lane and um the the canada u.s border yes exactly and i was with my mom and uh she had this like
nexus pass like a fast track pass which was then called something else the pace lane pace lane
she was the orwellian the disaster she had an orwellian disaster sticker in her car so she
was able to cross fast but every once in in a while, they pull you over.
And they pull you over, and it's really quick.
So we had to wait in the whatever customs and immigration room.
And they were listening to Seafox, I think.
Yeah.
Vancouver's Modern Rock.
We pronounce it Ka-fox.
Okay, so Ka-fox.
So wasn't there like a spoof band?
Is it the propeller heads, cement heads? The propeller heads weren't a spoof band. No, they were like a spoof band? Is it the propeller heads? Cement heads?
The propeller heads weren't a spoof band.
No, they were like a dance music.
Okay, so it's the cement heads.
I get them confused.
Okay.
There was a band, I think, on CFOX called the Cement Heads,
which must have just been people from the station who would make up fake songs.
Oh, like parody songs?
Yeah, parody songs.
Yeah, okay.
Yeah, yeah.
And so the parody song that was playing at this customs and immigration.
I like where this is going.
Oh, yeah.
Was to the tune of Let's Go to the Hop.
But they had replaced those words cleverly with Let's Go Smoke Some Pot.
Oh.
That was a band called Dash Rip Rock.
That was an actual band that was in the Cement Heads?
That was...
Yeah, that was an actual band.
But it was a spoof song.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because it was to the tune of Let's Go to the Hop.
Yes.
Okay.
Anyway, I thought...
Dash Rip Rock?
I don't know how you knew that.
Sounds like something from the Flintstones.
You're like Davipedia.
I'm feeling pretty proud of myself for catching that.
That on the back.
Well, anyway, so we we were
we're standing in line now we're like about to go up and it's like let's go smoke some pot and
they just say it over and over and over again is happening like you know amid all the people who
were trying to cross a border who are trying to cross the border and then the officials who like
are going to try to find pot on you and it's a very bad thing that we don't joke about because
it's totally illegal right and the thing I found the most fascinating
was that nobody turned the radio off.
Yeah.
It was just this kind of,
but you could feel the tension.
There was this, like, collective tension of...
Collective soul.
Of collective soul.
Of, like, what it's like to listen to collective soul.
It's really uncomfortable.
It's like you did away with all the goodwill built up
by naming that song by saying that collective soul reference yeah we weren't listening to gel
anyway yeah so it was like all these guys and then we had to have a conversation with this guy
while the song finished about him trying to ask us questions and like just nobody was going to
acknowledge they were just going to pretend that this song wasn't playing that they weren't
listening to it.
So I don't know if that's really an overheard. No, your two overheards fell right in the category of overheards.
Oh, good.
But I experienced it.
It wasn't like a conversation I overheard.
Yeah.
It could be a thing you were a part of.
I thought it was pretty incredible,
just awkwardness that presented itself in the natural course of life in the world.
Totally.
You know?
You got something, Dave?
Yeah, sure. Mine's actually dark. Oh, well. itself in the natural course of life in the world totally you know you got something dave yeah sure
yeah mine's actually dark oh well let's just give up and let's just go with it let's just be dark
gothcast well uh yesterday i bought some beers for us to drink today and uh i was in line at
the liquor store which seems to be where i get the majority of my overheards. Okay. And liquor. Yeah.
And there was a guy, two people ahead of me in line.
So there was the guy ahead of me in line,
and then there was the guy ahead of him who was a drunk
and was like, you know, I've never gone to a liquor store
while I've already had something to drink.
Well, you have not.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You got to do that.
Everything about it is better.
When it's right at closing and you're like
shh, you keep saying shh to the people
in the store, shh.
And you know what else? If you do that, you gotta really try
to act sober.
You'll act even weirder. It's great.
And then you gotta ride the Fraser bus.
You're like,
I got to put on a tie.
With a guitar.
I'm going to put on a tie
so that nobody knows
I'm wasted.
Put on my head
so they don't think
I'm stuck up.
So this guy was a regular
at the liquor store.
Okay.
And he told the guy
behind the counter,
the cashier,
he told him,
so you know that guy
who you see around here
with a buggy?
That guy died today.
And the guy behind the counter, the cashier, was like, oh, man, that guy died?
But then he got over it immediately.
Like, well, I guess that happens.
What happened to his bottles?
And so that guy left.
This is dark.
The guy who that guy left. This is dark.
The guy who told him left.
And the cashier told the next guy in line,
it's just so ironic because I'm reading this book called Life After Death by Deepak Chopra,
and suddenly everybody's dying.
Yeah, suddenly.
Oh, see, Vancouver sucks.
Hey, wait a minute.
I'm not a big defender of the city, but that seems like a... Well, it happened in your city.
But that was a way out assault that came out of nowhere.
I know.
And people die no matter what, no matter whether that guy's reading that book or not.
But people relate it to Deepak Chopra because they live in Vancouver.
Yeah, but the liquor store cashier relates to Deepak Chopra?
He's just a dude.
Yeah, he's just a dude.
Just a dude isn't the kind of guy who relates to Deepak Chopra.
It's supposed to be a guy with weird jeweled red glasses.
That's the city you live in.
I'm sorry to break it to you.
Wow.
I spent two months last year in the city you live in.
Toronto.
Yeah. Toronto's full of shit, but we all know that. But we all know it here. I spent two months last year in the city you live in, and I've got some...
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Toronto's full of shit, but we all know that.
But we all know it here in Vancouver.
If you want to start a wild... Absolutely.
Everybody I hang out with here in Vancouver knows that it's full of shit.
Do you think Biff Naked is aware of her irony when she's shopping at Caban?
Do you really?
Caban is closed.
Because she does.
Well, I haven't been here for a few years um i was i was
rapidly trying to think of a toronto example but there aren't any of no but there's gotta be a
toronto i just wanted to say that i don't believe that robin black of the intergalactic rock stars
is shopping at i fucking i don't know is that the guy is that the guy who's like... Wait, I know who that guy is.
He's actually a hairdresser where I get my hair cut.
Man, that was a good volley back.
Well done, you two.
That was just real facts.
Yeah, they were real facts, but it was fun.
It was fun to be sitting here while you were doing it.
Facts are fun.
It's true.
That's a message for all the kids who listen to your podcast.
Sometimes learning is growing, so that's good too, right?
And caring and sharing.
Graham?
What was my overhead?
Oh, yes, right.
I was in a discussion with a person about how they divide up chicks.
When chicks are born, there's kind of like a conveyor belt like girls hot
ladies chicks like chickens i like your story better now and they divide up females and males
because the males are what usually what you end up eating and the females are what end up laying
eggs chickens don't discriminate because chicks can be little boys yeah exactly you understand
and uh and i was like yeah there's a person that's paid that's their job they divide them up
they put them on these different the the females uh end up staying on the conveyor belt the males
they put them down the chute and it goes into this hole and uh and the person said oh i know
that i've seen that in that movie, Barack Obama.
Which, for anybody who doesn't know what the movie's called, it's called Baraka.
Baraka.
So that was my overheard.
Wait, sorry, did you say the females get thrown in a hole?
No, the females stay on the conveyor belt.
The males are thrown down a chute that goes into a hole, and then they're dropped into another conveyor belt.
Okay, I'm okay with that.
Oh, is it a feminist thing?
Yeah.
Okay.
All right.
Do we have listener overheards?
Mm-hmm.
This first overheard is from, I believe I'm pronouncing his name right.
I hope I'm not mispronouncing it.
It's Hatim Z.
Sounds good.
But, you know, there's not that many Hatims.
On the SkyTrain this past weekend around commercial or Nanaimo,
I guess Dog the Bounty Hunter made an appearance at the River Rock Casino this past weekend.
And the guy we overheard was referring to that.
He was calling his friend to tell him how much he enjoyed the show.
This is one half of a cell conversation paraphrased.
Hey, I just saw Dog the Bounty Hunter.
It was awesome.
Yeah, I'm just heading home now.
What's that?
Why the fuck would I wait around for Dog's autograph?
I fucking hate that guy.
Can we talk about Dog the Bounty Hunter?
Oh, we certainly can.
Well, but hating Dog the Bounty Hunter is kind of the thing.
It's like he's a guy you love to hate.
But he came to town to do a live casino show.
Love to hate.
I know, but what does he do? That would be like if you went and saw Garbage Man's casino show. Love to hate. I know, but what does he do?
That would be like if you went and saw
Garbage Man's live show.
No, but there's so many questions.
Do you think it's just a Q&A?
No, no, I mean there's questions like
Do you think there's a musical number?
No, no, it's like you ask yourself, what would this guy
do live, and that is enough of a
question for you to want to go see.
But then I want an answer. What does he do live and that is enough of a question for you to want to go see the inlone answer but then i want an answer but what does he do this is a place that will typically have cindy lopper natalie
cole and um joan rivers and gallagher well we haven't got gallagher yet but we had howie mandel
there um but dog the bounty hunter came and later this summer we are uh
getting perez hilton's live show yeah which i can't that he falls in the same category of what
he's a blogger right he's a blogger have you ever heard of cute with chris yeah okay cute with chris
like number one something something on something sure yeah on YouTube it's in the top
five on something on like YouTube on something okay this guy Chris Levins I didn't know who he
was I didn't know about his podcast but he came to Toronto to the theater where I'm the box office
supervisor and he he does this like podcast or video vlog I don't know what you call it vlog
cast you clearly don't know what you call it I don't know vlog cast Vladimir I don't know what you call it. Vlog cast? You clearly don't know what you call it. I don't. Vlog cast?
Vladimir, I don't know what it's called.
Vladimir Putin. Go on.
He's like a performer to begin with.
And then he did this thing and it got
big. And his live show,
which is like a live show of a
video cast,
was really one of the
most beautiful things I've ever seen. So I don't know
what Perez Hilton's background is,
but I'll give him the benefit of the doubt
because Cute with Chris Live was so
amazing. Perez Hilton is the type of guy
that I would draw
a mean drawing of
and make stink lines come off him.
When you did the mime for a live
drawing, I would like the listeners to know
you just drew an oval.
Yeah.
Have you seen Perez Hilton's?
No.
Big oval face.
I guess he looks like Grimace.
Yeah.
He does look like Grimace.
If you've never seen him, you just, from my one hand motion, you were able to figure out
that Perez Hilton and Grimace, almost the same guy.
And you never see them together at parties.
So think about that.
Do you have another?
I'm not sure that I do.
I don't think I have one.
But we have some call-in ones, yes?
Hells yeah.
Hey, guys.
It's Greg.
I'm risking life and limb to call in an overseen from Omaha.
I'm driving behind a gentleman in a Ford convertible of some type.
And his vanity license plate says Aslan.
And just made my day.
Aslan, as in the lion.
The other overseen I had recently was I saw a red Toyota Prius,
and the vanity license plate was I-L-U-V-N-P-R,
which I would consider to be completely redundant.
Ah, that's it.
I hope you guys are having a great time.
Of course it would be on a Prius.
That's the point.
That's the redundancy.
Yeah.
What was the first thing?
It was Aslan.
Aslan.
The lion from Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.
Oh, wow.
On some kind of...
That guy is that lion.
Muscle car.
He identifies.
Do you think that was a vanity play or just a mistake?
Or a coincidence.
Why can't it be both?
A cosmic coincidence.
Sometimes God speaks to you
through the license plate you get.
Sometimes he does when I'm getting a wedgie.
Mine doesn't make sense, and I think it's really telling.
Here's one from Abby's Aunt Sheila.
Oh, yeah.
Hello, it's Abby's Aunt Sheila calling.
I'm really far behind in listening.
I apologize.
I'm doing the cottage thing for the summer,
so I will catch up later.
I would like to share with you an overheard I experienced
while in the red-light, superb district of Amsterdam.
There was Aussie tourists behind us at a crosswalk, and I'll spare you the accent,
but one of them said to another friend,
Hey, who painted the 16th chapel?
And the other person said,
it was Leonardo da Vinci.
And the person said,
yeah, yeah, yeah, I thought so.
I like 16th Chapel
followed by Leonardo DiCaprio.
That would have been, to me,
the full circle of the 16th.
Or actually, I would just have probably
preferred Vincent D'Onofrio.
Also,
premium pick.
It was Vincent Gallo.
It was Vincent D'Onofrio.
It was Ernest and Julio Gallo.
No, but Vincent D'Onofrio, I'm a little obsessed with him.
You guys gotta watch Mystic Pizza again.
Vincent D'Onofrio
is the Law & Order gentleman?
Well, now he is. He's the twitchy Law and Order guy.
He was also Edgar from Men in Black.
But he was most famous, no, for when at Full Metal Jacket?
Is that not his most famous kind of role?
Maybe, but he was also Orson Welles in Ed Wood.
He was in JFK for two seconds.
And he was like this Portuguese fisherman in Mystic Pizza.
Is it Portuguese? That's how they said it in Mystic Pizza. And he married like this Portuguese fisherman in Mystic Pizza. Is it Portuguese?
That's how they said it in Mystic Pizza.
And he married Lily Taylor.
They also called it Mystic Zah.
They also cast Julia Roberts as a Portuguese woman.
That's Mystic Pizza.
That was pre-Pretty Woman?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
It was pre-pre-pre-Pretty Woman.
That was quite a bit.
She was in something like many other things.
I was about to say it was pre-pubescent, but it wasn't.
I just wanted to say that.
She was post-pubescent.
Yeah, pubescent.
Let's chart her career.
Julia Roberts?
Sure.
Okay, starts out with, according to a Liz Phair song, going to summer camp with her.
Something, something, flatliners.
Liz Phair and Julia Roberts went to summer camp together?
So says a Liz Phair song that I can't remember the name of.
She was in Flatliners before Pretty Woman.
No.
True or false?
False.
False?
Yeah.
That was after?
I'm saying that's after.
She signed on to Flatliners after Pretty Woman?
That doesn't make any sense in my head.
She was in Runaway Bride once.
Yeah, once.
Yeah, once.
She didn't do a reprieve.
A remake. No, no, there wasn't do a reprieve. A remake.
No, no, there wasn't a remake,
but there was another Richard Gere, Julia Roberts movie recently.
There was, that's true.
And it was sort of heralded as a remake just to cash in,
but it wasn't.
It was called You've Got Mail.
You know.
Two.
The Reckoning.
The Reckoning.
Salvation.
In high school, I took a film.
Origins.
I took two years of film.
Well done.
Thank you. I took two years of film. Well done. Thank you.
I took two years of film.
We studied directors, and I think once we did Martin Scorsese.
I understand the film program had progressed very far from when I took it two years before,
if the concept of a director was mentioned.
Okay.
Do you get mad whenever anybody says Martin Scorsese?
When they say his name really fast?
I say Scors-goo-scoo.
Scoo-scoo-scoo-scoo?
I say Chichesco.
Instead of Martin Scorsese, I say Vincent D'Onofrio.
I like to say Eggersuit.
We did Martin Scorsese, and the movie we watched was After Hours.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Don't know it.
It's a good movie, but it's not his signature movie.
But then we had to watch one in class,
and then every person had to watch a different one on their own time
and then compare the two.
And so that was one, was Martin Scorsese.
And the other director we studied was Joel Schumacher.
Oh, yeah.
And the one we watched in class was Flatliners.
Really?
Director of the worst Batman adaptation.
Oh, that was Schumacher?
It was ever made.
I didn't know that.
He did Flatliners.
He did Batman Forever and Batman and Robin.
The two worst of the Batmans.
I do remember in that class doing a presentation on David Lynch and having a very hard time
with the Q&A?
You were like, what happened to Marilyn Manson's character when he was thrown in jail and then he wasn't Marilyn Manson anymore?
Wait, what movie is that?
That was in, what was that one called?
No, you're confusing him with David Bowie.
No, not the David Bowie films I've seen.
No, David Bowie was in Mulholland Drive or something.
I don't know what.
No.
No, he was in Fire Walk With Me.
Sorry.
David Lynch made a movie with Marilyn Manson in it.
And at one point, Marilyn Manson's character is in jail and then turns into the main character at some point.
It was Wild at Heart, and that was Nicolas Cage.
No, no, no.
This was way after.
This was in the 90s when Marilyn Manson could have been in a movie as a movie i don't know david lynch's career well enough to get your
jokes he's the only celebrity i follow on twitter oh uh don't follow mc hammer i don't all right
well that's all i'm saying yeah i'm don't i'm that's to all the listeners as well do not follow
mc hammer david lynch is the one celebrity i can like get
behind following because he gives you daily uh weather reports from los angeles which of course
is always the same 72 and sunny yeah and it's but it's it's like in david lynchism so it's like
golden sunshine with a with wisps of cloud and so he does that he espouses but it's all spelled
backwards he espouses transcendental meditation.
And then every once in a while, he just says something else.
Is espouse a good thing?
He says you should transcendental yourself.
He's criticized.
And also, be aware of dental hygiene.
He's really into TM.
Do we want to do anything else?
Yeah, buddy.
So we've done it.
You have a new segment?
Yeah, it's new-ish.
Should I explain it? Yeah. It's new-ish. Should I explain it?
Yeah.
All right.
So basically, almost going back now a month, I was having a conversation with a friend of mine.
And we were talking about how much we loved the movie The Lion King.
And we both saw it in the theater.
And then we were like.
And we loved it.
We loved it.
We both loved it.
And then we were like, when did that come out?
And then we looked it up online, and it turned out we were way too old to have been that
in love with that movie.
We were in our teen years.
Do you guys have siblings?
Yes.
Are you youngest or eldest?
Eldest.
Youngest.
Oh, that's why we're such a good couple.
Youngest or eldest?
Eldest.
Youngest.
Oh, that's why we're such a good couple.
So, eldest have this, you will understand, have this ability to use their younger siblings as an excuse to watch things they still want to watch but they're too old for.
Ah, touche.
Totally true.
Totally true.
Okay, so my guilty pleasure that I would make my brother watch that I could watch it was
square one television.
Oh, square one television oh square one was
yeah it was math net there was math net yeah there's math math man will only eat prime numbers
for anybody who hasn't seen uh square one missing out math net was a was a takeoff on drag net yeah
it was like to cogitate and to serve and math man was a takeoff on Pac-Man. He only ate prime numbers.
Well, it would be different things every time.
And there were little segments.
It was kind of like a Sesame Street,
but only for math.
I remember there was a song
that was like 8% of my love
that was like this guy telling his sweetheart
that she could have 8% of his love
and she got kind of offended
and he had to go sing this whole song
to explain all the other things he loved
and that he loved America and he loved his mom well that's pretty good she
couldn't have a hundred percent and you know it's a fractions lesson there was another one that was
the fat boys singing about how much a billion was and every time that i try and think of like when
i read in the paper that it's something something eight billion dollars i always think in my head there's
the tune they say they're like 100 or no it's a thousand times a million that's one billion i
remember there was still pops in my head one clearly in this room was like a hit there was
there was a big hit we love that kid and play did a song called rule of thumb it was the rule of thumb
estimate with get in play and i think they were trying to paint a room and they were estimating how much paint they
needed. Yeah.
And inches your thumb. The tune was
it's a rule of thumb.
Estimate with kid and play.
Was how it went. I remember. God damn, that's
still. Yeah, like they taught us
shit. I can't forget. I remember Dash
Riprock was in that episode.
Well, and also in, I remember.
How much pot to smoke? I remember in an episode of MathNet
that Yeardley Smith was in,
or she was maybe in the voice of Lisa Simpson.
Yeah.
But I learned about Fibonacci sequences
from Square One Television.
That seems a little complex.
Yeah, but it was like a clue
for some crime on MathNet, Fibonacci.
Do you ever have that where you see,
and I guess this could be a widespread thing,
where you see somebody who is on Square One
in a commercial or in a TV show,
and you're like, MathNet!
They're the bad guy on Law & Order.
Oh, man.
Anyway, I was a little too old.
It was on, Square One was on long enough
that I had graduated from the right age to too old. So I had to get my brother into it was on long enough that i was like i graduated from
the right age to too old so i had to get my brother into it so i'd be like oh my brother
wants to watch this yeah i was kind of the same way with that and um where in the world is carmen
san diego yeah oh i watched that too yeah but i watched you're right i watched it with my younger
weird al i was like my brother's into that. No, Weird Al, I always wore that as a badge. That's something boys can have forever.
I was going to say, I'm a girl.
It's kind of not cool to want to, like, I need a new duck.
Yeah.
So good.
It's not cool for boys or girls to know a Huey Lewis.
It's not going to get you a weird West Coast hippie boyfriend.
But you know what's the weird thing about Weird Al?
I remember I had this conversation.
What is weird about weird hell
well it's true his hair uh but i was i remember having a conversation when i was younger with a
friend of mine we're just talking about music and i said i i bet you anything that weird al
will outlive any band that we're listening to any band that he's spoofing. Yeah, and it's true.
It has come to pass that he has outlived almost... Just not the Stones.
Yeah, but give him enough time.
He will...
Coolio.
Coolio?
Yeah, he's outlived entire careers.
Nirvana.
I brought it down again.
No, but that's around the time we were having that conversation
was the Nirvana one.
I was like, I guarantee you.
Huey Lewis and the News.
New Kids on the Block.
Yeah.
It's been a lot.
Who else?
Madonna.
I think Madonna could outlive him.
You know what I love?
He's done a few of hers.
Every album he would do some spoof songs.
Do some originals.
Some originals.
And then he would do an accordion medley.
The polka.
The polka medley.
A polka medley of like 50 songs.
Like polka your eye out?
My favorite was the one.
It's real.
It's a genius.
The one we sang in the car in my youth.
It was from Weird Alan 3D, I think.
Okay.
And it started with Devo's Are We Not Men,
and it ended with The Who's My Generation.
I don't even know that one.
You were just saying something.
I think this could be a new thing.
As you were saying, sinking in the car,
that seems to be...
When you were a kid, did you have... There were certain
maybe...
I guess it would have been tapes back in the day
that were just like...
Did your car have a hi-fi?
But it's songs that you
heard as a kid
ad nauseum in a car.
Ad nauseum. Did I say ad nauseum? Yeah car. Ad. Ad nauseum.
Did I say ad nauseum? Yeah, it's ad.
It's Latin. I've been drinking a little bit.
It's really hot in here.
Maybe I substitute a T
for a D here and there.
Well, when I was...
It's not getting up on me is what I'm saying.
My dad had this Jeep that had like, it would get
tape stuck in it.
So your options were either listen to whatever tape is stuck
or don't listen to anything.
And there were two tapes that were stuck in there for a long time
that I had to listen to ad nauseum.
I know what the phrase is.
I misspoke.
Number one was Paul Simon's Graceland,
which is a good album.
Same here.
But over and over again, maybe it's sticky tape.
It's a horrible album.
It's not a horrible album.
It's atrocious.
Disagree.
Anything Paul Simon did after 1974 is terrible.
It's totally listenable, especially in the car.
Graceland is great.
Graceland, Rhythm of the Saints.
You guys are missing number two,
which is the incredibly terrible tape to have stuck
and listening to all the time,
which was Don Henley, End of the Innocence.
This is the worst
album to listen to dirty laundry on it
nope i said meow yeah sure no it had i don't know it's just all boring garbage yeah i mean
it was like it was like stuff that old guys used to get old women in bed. No, old women.
You couldn't get a young woman in bed with that music.
Or at least into your Jeep.
But I know every single word to every song on both those albums.
Me too.
And I staunch in opposition to your hate of Graceland.
All right.
Well, you're boring and old.
We are.
Admit it.
We're all boring and old.
We are all boring and old. We are. Admit it. We're all boring and old. We are all boring and old.
If anybody wants to write in overheards or things that they found out recently that they're
too old for...
Did we have people who wrote in...
Oh, we did.
Yes.
But...
We're just chatting.
You can send them in to stoppodcastyourself at gmail.com or you can call us...
Actually, add gmail.com.
Add gmail.com or you can call us at gmail.com or you can call us at 206-339-8328
206-339-3328
206-339-3328
One of the things that one of our
listener bumpers wrote in
said that
they're too old for is Austin F
said, and as I have just listened
to episode 72,
I would like to say that The Land Before Time,
the first one, makes me cry
every time.
I am 22 years old, and I have
no shame in this.
Every time?
Well, maybe you're watching it too often.
I just did some math. 22 years old is not too old to cry
at that. Have you seen The Land Before Time? Well, but the first time this guy saw. Wait, I just did some math. 22 years old is not too old to cry at that.
At the Land...
Have you seen the Land Before Time?
Well, but the first time this guy saw it, he would have been really young.
That's nine years younger than me.
Oh, maybe I'm thinking of Fern Gully.
Fern Gully.
Or Land Before Time 2.
The Land Even Before Time.
Maybe I'm thinking of Anastasia.
This is Luke F.
He said, A few weeks ago, I watched a film that got the man tears afloat.
He did that all hyphenated.
Man tears.
As a preface, let me say I have seen Up and Forrest Gump
and have managed to choke back the tears and keep my manhood intact.
However, I don't know if I should be embarrassed about the movie that made me weep like a child.
It's an Adam Sandler movie.
The movie, Rain Over Me, absolutely killed me.
Have you guys seen this movie?
What do you think?
Haven't seen it.
Haven't seen it.
Nobody saw it.
I did see Little Nicky and did not cry.
I was like, Adam Sandler cry movie?
It's got to be Punch Drunk Love.
That's the only one with any pathos.
Well, I saw the preview for Rain Over Me,
and it looked unwatchable, but also very sad.
Didn't it have Don Cheadle in it?
Okay, so it's like a tear-jerky movie.
It's not like another little Nicky.
It's the tear-jerky boys.
This is from a lady named Erin S.
This is not a cry one. This is just
something that she found out. In retrospect,
she was too old for.
My family's old home videos were recently
put out on DVD, and although
re-watching them was largely
in brackets, immensely boring,
there were a few
entertaining moments, and one of them
made me think of your segment.
One video of Christmas Day shows me and my siblings tearing open our presents.
I open up one package and yell with genuine excitement,
Wow, look at all this construction paper!
Now, what would you consider to be the appropriate age for construction paper excitement?
Five? Five?
Six?
If the date stamp on the video is accurate, I would have been 12.
Okay, well, as a crafter... So that's Erin S. from Montreal.
Thank you very much.
I have to say, you can never be too old to be excited by construction paper.
But can I request a reread there?
Did she say that her family videos were put out on DVD?
Yeah, you can get them at Roger's Video or Blockbuster.
She didn't say transferred, too.
It's like her family's been released on DVD.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's going to be really good.
Buena Vista Entertainment.
Alright, do you want to wrap this mother up? I sure do.
Well, I had a thing. Oh, she has a thing. Oh, you do?
Yeah. I kept telling you I have gifts.
I brought you gifts.
So this is...
I'm staying at my mom's place.
My mother is a hoarder.
This is not a secret.
Oh, that sounds like it was going in another direction.
This is a hoarder.
Horderve.
My mother is an hors d'oeuvre.
She's an hors d'oeuvre.
This is not a secret, but she's been working on it.
Now, you told us you brought us gifts.
Yes. Do you get brought gifts a lot? I, you told us you brought us gifts. Yes.
Do you get brought gifts a lot? I thought you were the only one getting gifts.
No, I have gifts for both of you.
And from the looks of it, you both need them.
Oh, I'm excited.
I'm very excited.
But from your introduction so far, it sounds like we're just getting stuff your mom was throwing out.
No.
My mother is a hoarder.
And her hoarding is on the mend so we can talk about it
but also she the way that she accumulates things like it happens so fast that when i went away for
a year when i went to theater school everything i left there was engulfed and this was a decade ago
so now that she is doing this thing i think she was going to lose her house insurance
the house is like fire whatever like it was rewired and plumbed and stuff so all this stuff
had to happen she had to get cleaned up it's really amazing what she's doing i'm really proud
of her but she's unearthed a bunch of stuff that's basically like archaeological finds from my youth
i know and this relates to crafting um before i let you see what's in this bag okay i
want you guys to each have a guess what do you think my first like craft thing was that i made
uh like very very very first well not very first but like this was this was the first business like
i made these things and sold them and oh what age age were you? I was in my mid to late teens.
I would say around 15.
And keep in mind, West Coast, Vancouver.
That's part of it.
Oh, some sort of dream catcher.
Dream catcher, hemp hat.
You are in the right sort of zone, but you are incorrect.
All right.
Uh-oh.
It's coming out of the bag right now. It's huge. It's. Uh-oh.
It's coming out of the bag right now.
It's huge.
It's tie-dyed.
Tie-dyed shirts.
Wow.
Oh, wow.
How many are there?
Well, this is what's left. My father lived on Pender Island, and he would sell them at the farmer's market there.
Wow.
And I actually, to be fair, I also did female bead jewelry at a slightly younger age.
This is my
embarrassing beginnings
of craft.
This is where it all started.
I guess I did my whole life.
I really hope you guys have any
occasion to wear tie-dyed shirts.
I certainly could use some rags.
I'm going to wear one tonight to this birthday party.
You guys are pretty sweaty.
I was thinking of wearing one to the show that we're doing tonight just because I found all these.
Please don't cut them up.
Do you know what you should do?
I feel this weird attachment to them.
Give them to the thrift store for someone to buy them if you don't want them.
But if you're doing a show tonight, everybody on the show should wear a tie-dye shirt.
Well, I have enough that you can both each take one as well.
No, but that's what I'm saying.
Yeah.
Tonight, like, that's...
I like it.
That would be a great kind of unifying theme. I think you should do it. It's like an acknowledgment of I'm saying. Yeah. Tonight, like, that's, you're like. I like it. That would be a great kind of unifying theme.
I think you should do it.
And it's also, it's like an acknowledgement of where we are.
Yeah.
Geographically in the world.
But I think you will admit that I was pretty skilled.
Skillfully done.
Wow, that is pretty good.
It's a heart.
This is a heart.
Like, I did hearts.
So what do you do?
You put elastics on a shirt and you dip it and dye?
These ones would involve tracing and hand sewing the shape.
Really?
And then using these expensive dyes.
And this was my first home business.
That's pretty outrageous.
And how old were you?
I was in high school.
I was making extra spending dough in high school.
Because I was a vegetarian and my family kind of didn't want to buy me the food I wanted to eat.
It happens.
So I had to start working.
Wow.
Wow.
That one's a pretty basic one.
There's some pretty amazing.
I think I'm going to take the one with the heart.
There's some pretty amazing batiks.
There's another heart one.
There's a cactus.
There's some weird.
Oh, there's a cactus moon, I think.
Hands with different symbols in them.
Yeah, like hands with stars, maybe a heart.
I don't know what this one is down there.
A moon.
But this is like, to me, because they're unearthed from my past, hands with stars, maybe a heart. I don't know what this one is down there. A moon.
To me, because they're unearthed from my past,
this is like some sort of archaeological find
to say who I actually am.
A really weird hippie babe.
I don't know how your mother
stored these, but these smell incredibly
fragrant. Well, she just re-washed them
because half of them were bitten up by rats.
Oh, okay.
You may find that there are rat bites in them, which I like to call local flavor.
Just call them love bites.
Love holes.
Local flavor.
No, love holes sounds horrible.
Love bites.
I'm going to go with that.
Actually, love holes is probably appropriate.
So there you go.
Gifts.
And you really have to take one and wear them.
I'm going to wear one.
I want pictures of you.
I'm going to do it.
Multiple pictures of you wearing them in different settings.
Different areas.
You want that?
Yes.
Good luck.
And I want them on your blog.
Listener.
Yeah.
Dave, every week, spends a good...
No, no, no, no.
Live show.
Oh, this will come out before the live show.
This is the last episode before our live show.
We are doing a live version of what you're listening to.
Stop podcasting yourself, by the way.
At the Biltmore Cabaret.
On?
On the 28th, Tuesday.
Stop it.
Stop it.
I really wanted to do Speak in One Voice.
Tuesday the 28th. Stop it, stop it, Tuesday. wanted to do Speak in One Voice. Tuesday the 28th.
Stop it.
Stop it.
Tuesday.
At the Biltmore Cabaret in East Vancouver.
Five bucks.
Five bones.
Is the Biltmore the Hojo?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I just saw that on my last visit, which is now.
It's quite swanky now.
But they still call the Cabaret the Biltmore.
Yeah.
In the Hojo.
In the Hojo.
Okay.
It's Hojo adjacent.
So, yeah. Come see us there. Five dollars. Eight o'jo. Okay. It's Hojo adjacent. So, yeah, come see us there.
$5, 8 o'clock.
And Charlie Demers.
Charlie Demers is our special guest.
Travel here from wherever you listen from and stay in the Hojo.
Yeah, absolutely.
Oh, it's a grand hotel.
The Biltmore was not when I lived here.
But now it's taken on a whole other...
It's got historical significance.
Yeah, it's the hojo
the Beatles stayed there
but do check out our blog
stop podcasting yourself
stopblogspot.com
if you want to see pictures
of these guys in tie-dyed shirts
sure
yeah we're gonna take one picture
there's no doubt about that
at the PNE
also
if you want to write to us
with
things you're too old for
overheards neighborhood jerks.
What you sang in the car.
What you sang in the car as a youth.
What nice things you think about Becky Johnson.
Sure.
Write that in.
Write that in.
Send us a new segment on the show after I leave town.
Those can all be sent to stoppodcastingyourself at gmail.com.
Or you can call us at 206-339-8328.
And Becky, if people want to find you online,
what's your online presence?
Where do they find you?
There's so many.
Well, list them off.
Okay, well, so for improv, ironcobra.com.
Okay.
Sweetiepiepress.com for the craft stuff.
There's also cityofcraft.com,
which is the uh sort of
organization with craft shows that i am involved in in toronto well thank you very much for being
our guest today thank you i hope i didn't screw up your show not at all you were you were wonderful
treat dave testify yep i can't wait to wear the shirts thank you very much for being our guest
here today and uh come on back next week.
If you enjoyed the show out there, please tell your friends.
That's how the show is able to grow.
And come on back next week for episode number 74 of the Indomitable.
Stop podcasting yourself. Thank you.