Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 736 - Alicia Tobin
Episode Date: April 26, 2022Comedian Alicia Tobin returns to talk Red Robin, the circus, and The Batman. Plus, it’s week 1 of MaxFunDrive 2022. Support the show at maximumfun.org/join....
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Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself.
Woo!
Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 736 of Stop Podcasting Yourself.
My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who is super stoked
that it's the first week of the MaxFunDrive, Mr. Dave Shumka.
Yeah guys, MaxFunDrive coming at you.
Hashtag MaxFunDrive. Go to MaximumFun.org slash join.
We're doing the hashtags with our fingies.
to maximum fun.org slash join we're doing the hashtags with our fingies uh maximum fun.org slash join this uh this crazy time of year uh we ask you for the next two weeks dig deep
support the show and you can get some you know some bonus episodes some swag get us we'll get
swag come on board as a member we want you even if you think we don't even if
you've been getting a vibe like we don't want you we do oh yeah you think we're too good for you
we suck anyways we'll be telling you more all about max fun drive throughout the episode
but our guest today one of our favorite guests of all time here on the show, and one that listeners request so often, it's Alicia Tobin, everybody.
Hey, bumpers.
Hey, Tobzy.
Hey, Tobzy.
How's it going, Shumka?
Oh, not much.
I mean, fine.
It's so nice to have you back here on the podcast.
Should we get to know us?
Yeah, of course.
Get to know us.
Alicia, before we start in on things, I was just wondering if you could tell me, is Hank a good boy?
Hank is such a good boy.
He's just getting better and better each year.
He's going to be six in October.
What?
I know.
For anyone not familiar, Hank is a small dog.
Yes.
And who lives in Alicia's house.
Yes.
And he's scared of his bed.
So he's just sometimes.
So he'll just stand there.
And he's been standing there since we started chatting for 17 minutes.
He looks like that looks like a very comfortable place to be lying down if you
are a dog it's a very lovely bed and he's gotten used to it for the most part but every once in a
while he gets scared of it again and what are the top five things he's scared of okay those are
that's a great question thank you um because i have a dog who's a scared question. Thank you. That's a good question.
Because I have a dog who's a scaredy person as well.
So inside the house, he is afraid of his baby gate.
Okay.
It's just like Watergate, but for babies.
Yeah.
Baby gate.
He hates that.
Oh, the money.
If it falls down, he's petrified.
Oh, yeah. Right, yeah. He's the kind of dog that acts brave when he's scared so he barks and growls um he was scared of every single dog in the building for a
long time but now he's friends with all of them including the golden retriever next door who's
pretty goofy what's the golden retriever's name olive olive. Olive. And there's a dog that I've seen at your place more than once.
Beautiful, beautiful dog, but scared of everything, it seems.
Reggie.
Reggie.
Reggie.
The 100-pound dog that's scared of everything.
Yeah.
So Hank has three friends in the building that are dogs, and they're all complete weirdos.
And there's Ross, named after Ross from Friends, who's like 12 or 13-year-old terrier mix
that looks like a breakfast sausage
that got rolled in some lint.
He's the leader of the pack.
Then there's Reggie, giant Ridgeback.
The only other person in the building besides his owners
that he likes is me, and it took him like six months,
but I'm pretty good with dogs,
but he won't let anyone else pet him except me.
And he's got firmly, his tail is always tucked between his legs when you see him
yeah yeah when I see him it's riding high oh wow oh nice you get you get a good view of the
hindquarters not really actually Hank gets right up in there though yeah good for him
smelling what he wants to smell and then there's olive
the golden retriever is there anything that uh you think hank would be afraid of that hank is
surprisingly brave about hmm because because we had a dog for many years grandpa who is not afraid
of anything except fireworks oh yeah and he's so afraid of fireworks, even on TV.
Fireworks would send grandpa under the bed for days.
I remember.
Yeah, and it was debilitating.
Monster, our new dog, afraid of people, afraid of dogs, afraid of, you know, the wrong silhouette.
But, like, surprisingly doesn't care about fireworks.
We have construction next door.
We were just walking around.
We were going for a walk and like this super loud buzzsaw went off and freaked me out and the dog didn't care.
Interesting.
Hank hates all of those things.
Nail guns.
Oh, Monster loves nail guns.
Fireworks.
We're going to get him one. He's really afraid of water and he's like
a water dog hank is well you've seen him at the beach he just barks the whole time that's right
he just barks at the ocean that's true doesn't even really like to get his paws wet he does like
to get his paws wet like he plays in a baby pool okay okay he's a cool kid
anyways thank you for asking he's not particularly brave but he's amazing at the vet He's in a baby pool. Okay. Okay, okay. He's a pool kid.
Anyways, thank you for asking.
He's not particularly brave, but he's amazing at the vet.
Yeah, that's right.
And the groomer.
He's a really good dog, and he doesn't... The groomer likes Hank.
This is the same groomer you've been going to for a long time?
Yeah.
Groomer likes...
Hards of sweet barbers, you know?
A lot of times you think, oh, this groomer really likes me but it's kind of
like when you think this strip is this stripper into me yeah or it's like the grooming that you
know uh drake does where you're like he's slowly oh you know come on
guys it's just something that's out there i'm just you know trying to make it funny
or or just bring it up and not make it trying
so alicia well you were last on the show a while ago what's new you know uh
lots of things are new and exciting in my life but i don't want to talk about them on the podcast
things are new and exciting in my life but i don't want to talk about them on the podcast um yeah like i still do my own podcast and still complain about nightmares that's called retail
nightmares i'm my comedy shows on hiatus uh i think i might start writing another book really yeah um what kind of book uh nude just nude pictures of dicks
it's a coffee table pictures coffee table drawings of dicks that i'm gonna do oh it's
drawings not photos uh just drawings okay what's your style are they like great uh are they
photorealistic are they cartoonish do they have everything a little
bit of everything you haven't tried yet well i mean i draw dicks a lot we both okay we all know
that but like do you draw like you know how at like uh the friars club that has a bunch of
pictures on the wall of the diners that go there frequently but they're caricatures yeah would you
know how to draw like bob hope's penis or something like that
would you at least give it a try i would give it a try i mean i could guess like it would be really funny to just do one yes guessing what people's penises would look like oh yeah i could
play that game for days yeah what do you think kevin bacon's penis is like i think do you really
want me to answer yes why would i ask the? Do you listeners want to hear this answer, you think?
Well, now that I've posed the question.
What do you think, listeners?
Oh, I heard them.
They went, yes, we do.
We will tell us what Kevin Bacon's dick looks like.
I think it's pretty big.
Yeah?
I think it's pretty big, and I think it's got a weird kind of...
I think it goes more to one side than the other and might have a little bit of a kink near the top.
Wrong.
It looks like a piece of bacon.
Oh.
See, I didn't want to answer this.
I knew I would be wrong.
This is all part of the process.
Yeah, yeah.
It would be like a little lightning bolt dick.
Because it's like jaggedy.
Yeah.
But yeah, yeah, yeah.
I bet he's been naked in something and I could have just Googled it and answered you.
Yeah, he's been naked in something.
My dreams.
Yeah.
Love that guy.
Is Kevin Bacon, he's like Adam Driver, right?
They're in the same class of people who are like, they're attractive, but very unconventionally so.
Or would you not put those two together? I wouldn't put
Adam Driver in the same bucket as Kevin
Bacon. You like to keep them in separate buckets.
Yeah, I want to keep them in buckets.
You heard it here first, and the police will hear it next.
I want to keep them in buckets
um dave did you look up kevin bacon's penis yeah
uh google images has given me too much to work with i i don't know what i'm seeing there's
yeah there's a lot of this isn't him right yeah that's true the internet really
has done some good business with
photoshop of wieners
and what not
Alicia are you looking up Kevin Bacon's penis
I can't say
the law won't let you say
I don't want to
click on any of these links
no none of these
I see him nude but i
don't i and i see penises but i don't they're not him there's like both kinds of pictures penises
and kevin bacon i've done it in all caps uh see if that changes my luck here
oh yeah that's not him with him at the awards show with his dick just hanging out that can't be right
oh wow oh my gosh no why did i seen some seen some things that i can't unsee
uh hollow man well he's invisible in that one but you can imagine
yeah and that's what i mean i just want to to imagine. Yeah. I really want to see.
If you did a second book, for real, for real, would you do more essays?
Yeah, more funny essays.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The other ones were pretty funny, right?
Your last book was great.
Thank you.
Yeah, if people out there haven't heard of the book or got a chance to look at the book, it's great. It's bunch of essays some funny some sad yeah it's called so you're a little sad and that's that's fine with
me i'm alicia and let's buy the buy my book um i also get people still buy your book is it still
out in circulation no it's sold out i'm not convinced graham's finished the book
It's always sold out.
I'm not convinced Graham's finished the book.
I have to finish the book.
That's very rude.
Did he buy it?
No, you gave me a copy. I think I gave him a copy.
I always buy the book.
I think you already bought one before I could give you one day.
Exactly.
It's very sweet.
Because then I don't have to read it.
That's true.
Less pressure.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's the trade-off.
And the other thing I've decided is I want to learn how to refinish furniture.
So in my small apartment, I have a giant desk that I bought off the Facebook marketplace.
Did not get a deal on it necessarily.
And I still have to send and refinish it.
But I'm thinking of doing some stuff like that.
Have you done that before?
No, I haven't.
I've worked a very long time ago in a store that sold furniture and we would do finishes on them, like special paint jobs.
And I really love that.
Yeah.
But I myself have quite a few pieces of mid-century furniture and I'd like to learn how to repair them so I can maintain them.
And I also just need something to do sure so it's is it is it just as simple as you sand you get sandpaper
and you sand off the old color and then you paint paint new color on it yeah i think in some cases
for sure this one i think will be pretty straightforward but um there's all these
things that i'm learning like you can't
just sand off certain finishes
and I think that there's a polyurethane
finish on this so I think
I may have to strip it and then sand it
and then refinish it
what does stripping mean?
I use some nice music
strip it off
yeah it's like the movie
Good Teeth
I lose a lot of weight but i got
really big breast implants is that uh demi it was demi more and burr reynolds no burr reynolds yes
ranty quaid i never saw that one i saw showgirls i tried to watch showgirls a few weeks ago
okay by myself it was unwatchable it's kind of a hard tried to watch Showgirls a few weeks ago. Okay. By myself.
It was unwatchable.
It's kind of a hard thing to watch by yourself.
Yeah, it was my mistake.
Yeah, you need somebody to kind of crack jokes with.
I could never have anticipated how bad it is and how difficult it is to follow, the lack of character development or story.
Yeah, I mean.
Weird sexy dancing?
The weird sexy dancing. Also, there's
a couple sex scenes that are...
I mean, I don't know how they came up with...
It's like aliens trying to
be like, this is how humans have sex.
Yeah, they have sex in a pool with water drowning
her. Yeah, drowning her and she just
flops around. Yeah.
I...
That was Elizabeth
Berkeley starring as Nomi Malone
and she
that was supposed to be her
big breakout from Saved by the Bell.
That was pretty much not
that didn't work
out. And I
that movie kind of tainted like Kyle
McLaughlin and Gina Gershon for me as
well. I can see why.
I was surprised to see Kyle MacLachlan there.
Yeah?
Yeah, I always thought of him as more of like an indie film.
But this is that I feel like he kind of gives the movies a little bit of indie credibility.
But I also think that Showgirls is an indie movie.
I don't think like a big studio put out Showgirls.
Oh, sorry.
I don't know anything about the production. No, it's Disneyney it was disney yeah it's on disney plus that's right
they locked it away in the disney vault and nobody would ever crack it and there's a you
know what like a lot of those disney movies there's some hidden sex in it that's right yeah
is that a thing about disney movies but there's sex? There's rumors that swirl around that there's images implanted or drawn in tiny detail in different cartoon Disney films that are naughty.
Why?
Because the animators are horny old men.
Yeah, yeah.
They got to get their rocks off.
Yeah.
So, I mean, was it a lion king or something you sit on
dandelions and it goes up in the air and it supposedly said sex and uh there's supposed
to be a scene where you see i don't know the guy from aladdin laden i guess his name is um
aladdin uh apparently you see his wiener at one point this is this kind of thing that uh yeah
yeah i don't i find that hard to believe it seems to be more in the realm of shrek porn
shrek porn is very hot this yeah very very everyone's talking about shrek porn this time
of year yeah speaking of uh cartoon characters who are in uh a lot of porno. Go on.
I saw Sonic the Hedgehog 2 this week.
Oh, that's right. He is in a lot of porno.
It's at the XXX Theater here in town.
Actually, maybe he's not in porno, but he's like there's pregnant Sonics
depicted in a lot of fan art.
Oh.
So he's had sex.
What?
It's like a genre of
fan art. It's pregnant Sonic the Hedge sex. What? It's like a genre of fan art.
It's pregnant Sonic the Hedgehog.
Really?
You were so quick to Google Kevin Bacon's penis.
I wasn't that quick.
You were much quicker.
Pregnant Sonic?
Oh, yeah.
So cute.
Oh, it's way better than I could have thought.
I don't know anything about
Sonic the Hedgehog.
How did you find this?
It's, you know, been bubbling under.
It's in the underground.
What?
Oh, wow. Maybe I should see this Sonic 2.
Well, it's not in the theater anymore.
It was only only two weeks
um and you uh like alicia if you could see any cartoon in the nude
and you can't say you know somebody that's already in the nude like fritz the cat you can't say him
uh did anybody ever see fritz the Cat? those cartoons made me feel filthy
they're like grimy
grimy 72
that's Crumb
I like him in print form
but those cartoons
hard to watch
Alicia are you still looking up
pregnant Sonic the Hedgehog?
no
Alicia answer the question if you could see any cartoon Pregnant Sonic Hedgehog. No.
Alicia, answer the question.
If you could see any cartoon naked.
I'm trying to imagine, like, one.
And I'm sure that there is one.
I'm just drawing a blank.
Maybe that Robin Hood from Disney that's the fox.
I think that would be a lot of people's answers. Yeah.
Oh, sure. Yeah. Oh,
sure.
Yeah.
A big,
a big sexual touchstone for women of our generation.
Yeah.
And Dave and I's was,
was showgirls.
I remember when I was a kid,
there was Jessica Rabbit was in,
who framed Roger Rabbit.
And she was practically,
she was a very horny character for a kid's movie
she only had one eye yeah that's true yeah just like peter falk and uh she the the then a couple
years later a movie called cool world came out that's right yeah uh starring brad pitt and kim Starring Brad Pitt and Kim Basinger. I don't know.
As a character named Hollywood.
Hollywood, that's right.
If she could.
Yeah, that was the tagline.
Hollywood, if she could.
Maybe her name was just Holly.
And I watched it thinking like, well, clearly if Roger Rabbit was for kids, this is for adults.
And we'll see a little something.
And we never did.
No.
And it's just as well.
I mean, you know, the fact that there's fan art out there,
you don't have to be alone in your ideas of what Sonic Pregnant would look like.
Yeah.
Quite cute.
Quite cute.
So that's kind of what I've been up to.
Like, really boring shit like you've been
watching you watch a lot of uh high quality uh television you stream you've seen some shows
what's your what's your favorite that you've streamed you told me to watch the magnificent
gemstones because there's a lot of penises in that i think it's the righteous. No, it's the Magnificent Diamonds.
Yeah, I watched that.
It's my favorite show of the year, for sure.
Yeah.
Also, my dad came to visit, and we watched both seasons in one weekend.
You streamed with your pops?
Yeah, we streamed with my pops.
We laughed really hard.
I'm currently watching Selling Sunset, so I i'm not really picky is that a netflix one it's a netflix one about a beverly hills
real estate yeah it's really not good that's a reality show yeah the plastic surgery is wild
yeah yeah why now here's a question like a very sincere question is why do people continually get the same bad plastic surgery?
Because it feels like it's, you know, when it's bad and it's people seem to still get that bad too tight.
Does it just like, look, I think everyone's beautiful.
Yeah.
No matter what you say.
And like, I've had work done. You wouldn't know it because I go, my guy's so good.
Yeah, that's right.
Yeah.
And he, you know, he leaves a lot of stuff looking bad.
So, you know, so it's like, is he?
He takes bits from the bad area, puts them in the good area.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But there is that weird face that's like, well, it's not.
But there is that weird face that's like, well, it's not.
You didn't get younger or better looking.
You got this generic plastic surgery face. Yeah, like Mickey Rourke is somebody that I think of as having the very like puffy but pulled back kind of face.
Most of the people on this show are like under 35.
So what they're fighting i think i'm
assuming and that in hollywood and beverly hills there's a standard that it's not too much but if
you saw it like in vancouver at the grocery store you might say like okay that's that's a lot of
botox or that's a lot of filler i'm gonna put away all
this food it's put me off of having a meal yeah i just think it's a beauty standard that's us
cultural like a cultural phenomenon isn't that interesting
you shut your little face no no go on yeah so but it is sometimes it's a bit alarming when somebody
that i don't think can actually close their mouth when they're eating like a baby bird
yeah what do you think graham and i should have done okay yeah um let me just think and feel free
to use a laser pointer on our bodies yeah just. Just keep circling like your crotches over and over again.
Making direct eye contact.
This is the zone.
This is the zone, fellas.
Enhance.
Okay.
I think, Dave, you should get like a really nice butt.
Okay.
There's actually someone in my neighborhood that has like a crazy butt.
And I just respect this butt so much.
Whenever I put it above my current butt,
below my current butt.
Just directly on top of it.
Oh,
okay.
Yeah.
Like a hat.
Like you'll have to buy bigger pants than have them all brought in at the
waist.
Yeah.
You'll have to buy bigger pants.
Oh,
okay.
So I don't just take my current pants and have the,
I guess I can't make the seat any bigger on regular.
It'll give you extra seat fabric.
And Graham, you should get calf implants.
So you'll never ever be able to find pants again.
Yes.
Always have to wear cargo shorts.
Are you, do you have trouble already getting your calves into pants?
Yes.
Pants and I have a very special
relationship and uh just like bill clinton and tony blair exactly the same um yeah so uh pants
are hard you know the wider that they are stretchier that they are i love it but sometimes
then they're too loose around the waist and butt starts falling out sometimes.
Which, you know what?
If it does, enjoy the view is what I say.
Yeah.
I got no problems with it.
But the police don't say that.
The police say you're under arrest.
Yeah, they say, come over here.
You again, they say.
What did we tell you last time, they say.
Yeah. How about... say what did we tell you last time they say um yeah how about uh hmm who's the celebrity with the best plastic surgery i would say jennifer aniston is my guess she looks great she has
looks like she hasn't aged a day i think that's probably some pretty good work
hmm not like i'm not saying that you're wrong okay but i know that recently i've just thought
like fuck that person has got great work and i just can't think of who it was is it simon cowell
yes i mean also the woman from friends the other one
courtney cox courtney cox our cat yeah yeah yeah, she stole an Arquette even though they got divorced.
She kept the name.
Do you remember that one episode of Friends where everyone was like,
Matt LeBlanc, Arquette, and in the opening credits they did that?
That's fun.
And I also, like, after 9-11, there were several episodes where they were all wearing, like,
NYPD and F you know,
fire fireman t-shirts.
And then there was a drawing also twin towers on that little Etch-a-Sketch
thing that was on Joey and Chandler's door.
Really?
Yeah.
It's the first kind of whatever the season would have been.
That was kind of like came out exactly.
That show should not have gone past 9-11 that show
should have ended it's weird when a show goes from one decade to the other especially when the decade
is marked by like the a huge historical event yeah but like they never bring it up but obviously
they went through it if yeah if it's canon but they yeah it's weird but obviously they went through it, if it's canon.
But yeah, it is weird that they lived in New York.
They all went through it.
They probably lost friends.
Yeah.
I never watched the show, really. And I didn't realize that it was still being made during that time.
Yeah.
Wow.
Not much longer after that.
I think it went off the air in 2003 or 2002.
But here's my theory.
All the friends killed in 9-11.
And it's just Gunther's dream the rest of the season.
It's something that he's dreaming.
Oh, sure.
I wanted to say, I think Martha Stewart's had really good work done.
Yes.
Oh, yeah.
She looks great.
She is great. Martha Stewartart now that she's hanging out
with snoop dogg that's true but she went to jail which is pretty cool i think we can all agree yeah
it's pretty good for your skin that's where she had it all done but it was just in a fight and
it just had like incredible results like just reverse well like they do prison tattoos they
should do prison plastic surgery yeah yeah like they just put an orange in under your skin or
whatever kind of things they can collect from the cafeteria yeah sure it's the bruno they just
inject you with bruno we don't talk about bruno bruno why don't they sell that in stores? We're all curious about it.
I think, yeah.
I wonder why they don't sell toilet wine.
If you go on YouTube,
I bet you can learn how to make your own.
Yeah, for sure. Should we make some this summer?
Like a sun tea? Yes! Yes, finally!
The tank on my toilet is super cold, so it's like
it's ready to go.
The tank on my toilet is, I'm sure, like, one of the, it's probably the original toilet in this building.
And I opened it up one day because I'm like, oh, like, I wonder if, like, something happened, if this water is truly drinkable.
And I just immediately closed it.
I will never open it again.
Why were you pondering drinking your toilet water?
I don't know.
Oh, was Hank getting in there?
No, he's not tall enough.
He's not tall enough, which is great.
I don't know why.
I think I was curious, or maybe I had to open it to jiggle that little ball thing in it.
You know what I'm talking about?
Yeah, I know what you're talking about.
Yeah, it's the second half of your new book.
Jiggling the ball.
Yeah, and then I just closed it've it's just not good in there um yeah but i mean in an emergency we
would all drink the toilet water right if we didn't have any other well when my dad came to
visit he brought me um huge five gallon uh water containers in case there's some sort of
gallon uh water containers in case there's some sort of natural disaster so you brought these up from america yeah along with like a month or maybe even like three months worth of dehydrated food
i would just rather die i know he did not think that was funny because he's like well what's your
plan i was like my plan was not surviving yeah, I don't want to eat powdered eggs. Come on.
You know me better than that.
Yeah, I don't know what to do with these
tossed salad and powdered eggs.
They're calling it again.
Powdered eggs all over my face.
What is a boy to do?
I love it when he does that.
He's so cute.
Yeah, the... We should do a bonus episode where we make pruno and drink it yeah i do that with you guys so whether you just do fruit in a plastic
bag put her in the toilet wait until it ferments i don't think it has to be in the toilet because
we're not hiding it from anybody but but like we want to do the we want to make it authentic well
i guess we can use that. But also is this
cultural appropriation? Prison cultural
appropriation? It might be.
But did we ever
discuss the possibility of a prison
themed restaurant?
What would it be like?
I think every table would be in
a cell and
the hostess and the
waiting staff would be dressed like uh prison guards yeah
and you get you get to put on a stripey shirt everybody that comes in you can bring your own
but they'll have ones for you to put on i have plenty thank you very much yeah exactly we have
a house stripey shirt and then you take your picture taken behind some bars right and do they
do a mug is it like a mug shot yeah. Right. And do they do a mug?
Is it like a mug shot?
Yeah, they do a mug shot.
They do a mug shot.
But also you have your hands on bars.
Yeah, exactly.
And then, you know, the food's all authentic to prison.
So, you know, whatever.
Bread, water.
Yeah.
Bread, water.
Bruno.
Did I see the Bruno list?
Garcon.
Garcon.
I have a better idea for your theme.
Here we go.
So, you know those escape rooms?
Yeah.
So, it's more of an adventure-based dining experience.
Or like those dark restaurants where you go and you just eat food in the dark.
Yeah, there's one.
I want to go to one.
There's one in town.
I thought the food is good.
I don't care.
I would just like it to be a hot dog, and then I get mustard all over my...
But you don't know that it's a hot dog?
You're eating it like a cob of corn, and then the lights go on, and you're like, what the...
I think that it, firstly, in prison, people, I think, according to television, eat in one big room.
And there's different gangs you have to avoid.
You have to always watch your back.
And it could be like a,
you know what?
This is not very sensitive.
I got too far into it before I realized how shitty it was.
And I just wanted to say,
I'm sorry.
Yeah,
no,
fair enough.
I'm like reliving like a television show.
Not of course,
the lives of millions of people
that don't deserve to be in jail.
I apologize to Lister.
What we're talking about is like Oz.
Yeah, I was like, you know.
Or Paddington 2.
Yeah, yeah, these are the different acceptable films.
I would love to go to a Paddington 2 prison-themed restaurant.
Oh, shit, that would be amazing.
Marmalade on everything.
Marmalade everything.
You wear pink stripy pajamas. That is pretty good.
They must have this somewhere.
They must do like... Some
bogus pop-up shop. Yeah, yeah,
yeah. They must do some kind of prison.
What about
a
restaurant, teen restaurant,
that's like an airport?
So, like, you go into it and then... That's the way we have it. It's called Red
Robin.
Every time I go to Red Robin, it's like here airport. So like you go into it. That's the way we have it. It's called Red Robin. Every time I go to Red Robin,
it's like you're,
which is often.
When was the last time you were at Red Robin?
Two weeks ago.
Shut up.
Really?
Probably go once a month.
Even in the Pandy?
Yeah.
Like not the first year of the Pandy,
but maybe the second year of the Pandy,
I go every couple of months.
For sure.
And what is your go- months for sure what do you order
what do you i never know what to order i always order something that i don't 100 like the last
time who do you go with my friend sarah hadar she lives nearby um if she gets injured like say
someone takes out her knees will you go with me i will go with uh dave like if i like it's been we've been friends for like 15 years almost
let's take this friendship to the red robin level have we never been to one no i don't think so we've
talked about it um love red robin yeah me too and i will never stop going i usually just get a burger
they have a bot depending on your server they have bottomless rides and drinks
I'm going to be bottomless
when I get the wrong
plastic surgery
where they take part of your butt away
well there's two weeks where we take your butt away
and before we put the new butt on
you have two weeks where you're bottomless
it needs your butt to be the medium for more butt
that's right
we kind of grow your new butt on your old butt then we medium for more butt that's right we gotta grow your new
butt on your old butt then we take it off and we stitch it back on okay so if either of you could
have a pop-up shop uh-huh what do you think it would be like if there's just one thing like this
kind of curated little shop that you'd love to have for you know a couple of months because of
a cheap retail space i don't know how pop-up shops work oh i would like to do just uh you know how
they do nuit blanche where everyone yes everyone has to everyone has to wear dine en blanc is that
what it's called i think it's dine en blanc i think you're right but i thought you said
nuit instead of i said nuit yes i did i did gave it an extra syllable i like it uh but that's a different thing that's like a
winter festival uh dine en blanc where people wear white and they go to some some uh location
and they bring their own food and wine i would like to just have and also it's very it seems
very elitist and very like exclusive i walked by one one night when he's getting off the train i walked by tim
hortons and i was like oh i'm going to grab a grab a donut and the some of the dinner white dinner
folk were in there asking why the toilet like why is somebody taking so long the toilet they were
not buying anything they were just in there to use the toilet i don't know how those employees
didn't splash coffee all over their dumb white outfits i don't know how they restrained themselves but uh those people yeah that would be my pop-up
is you gotta wear all white and have a smug smile and then here's the foods like chili dogs and you
have to bring no you have to bring your own food yeah okay so you're basically you just have a room that you've invited
people to with a very it's also an escape room too and you can't get all denet en blanc it's an
escape room yeah an escape room that everything that you solve has a different part of the meal
that seems that's a chamber de chat oh i just meant that i would have to just get the fuck
out of there as quickly as possible i do not want to spend any time with these monsters.
What would yours be?
What would be your pop-up restaurant?
Yeah.
Or shop.
It would just be a shop, I think, of like vintage jeans and boots and expensive furniture.
Okay.
And when people would ask me how much things were,
I'd be like,
I don't know.
What do you,
what were you willing to pay?
What do you think is the best era of jeans?
Is there,
they change all the time.
These jeans,
what's in and what's out.
What's your timeless,
aren't they?
Dungarees.
Yes.
That's what my grandfather called them.
Dungarees.
Yeah.
Wow.
That's a good question.
I would say like, it depends.
Like if you like a work wear look, then that could go back like and touch on like several
decades, even back in the late 1800s.
Back when people used to work.
But I actually think one of the best times was like the return of the high rise skinny
was like probably.
High rise skinny.
Yeah. When was that? The early yeah when was that the early 2000s yeah early 2000s uh i also like a straight leg broad denim look yeah timeless yeah how about you i mean i know what you you're like a genko gene is that
what it's called i like that yeah i like um i go to blue notes or such there are still blue notes
by the way yeah that's right no i go to blue notes i such. There are still Blue Notes, by the way.
Yeah, that's where I go.
I go to Blue Notes.
I say, what's new?
And they point me in the direction of the new hot pants.
Not hot pants, but the most popular pants.
You know what I was looking at was at the start of the pandemic,
I was like, working from home all the time,
I wanted to find a hoodie that didn't have a hood.
Oh.
Because I was like, a little sweater.
So like just a crew neck sweatshirt?
But it was zip up.
Okay.
Yeah.
I know what you're talking about.
Which is harder to find.
I found one I liked, but then I realized what I really wanted, what I really fell in love
with was long sleeve t-shirts.
Oh.
No, like not a Henley button or anything, just a straight crew neck long sleeve. No, just straight t-shirts. And like not like a henley button or anything just a straight no just straight t-shirts
and uh i became very particular i need them to have a cuff like an elastic cuff yeah uh i can't
have it loosey-goosey um and then i i love if it has like a contrast cuff oh wow what does that
mean like a kid's pajama yeah basically there's a dinosaur on the front. We're like, Dave, those are kids' pajamas.
The cuff is a different color than the rest of the t-shirt.
Oh, kind of like long-sleeve baseball kind of shirt.
That must be very nice for layering.
But only the cuff, not the whole sleeve.
Excellent.
And then I discovered recently, oh, I'm thinking of the undershirts that hockey players used to wear in the 90s.
Oh, interesting.
They're made by Stanfields.
They're light blue with a dark blue cuff and collar.
And we stan Stanfield.
I was going to say I stan Stanfield.
In the 90s, they had the best t-shirts.
And irreplaceable. Absolutely the best era for t-shirts. The 90s, they had the best t-shirts. And irreplaceable.
Absolutely the best era for t-shirts.
The 90s?
Mm-hmm.
Man, I talked about it on the podcast a while ago,
but there was a t-shirt fair that I went to,
and I can't believe I had the exact t-shirt that they were selling for 500 bucks.
I had the Wayne's World t-shirt.
I was like, what the fuck?
But you saw it. No one's buying it.
I bought it, Dave.
That's my way of telling you.
I'm broke.
I thought it's too tight. They wouldn't let me try it on.
Yeah, everyone,
you've got to support us at
MaximumFun.org.
Graham is in t-shirt debt.
Now, I feel like
this is great because both of you have an appreciation for, you know, if you really love something, I know you would spend the money.
So Graham, is there like one article of clothing that you would just, you would not think twice about buying?
If I could find a really nice, like part of like the vest of a three-piece suit.
Who are you? Abdul Aziz?
Yeah, I'm just going to wear that.
No, I'm going to wear a suit, but with a nice, like, that would be a nice suit for me to wear.
You could just buy a suit, three-piece suit.
Yeah, I guess I could.
Yeah, you could just start there.
That exists.
Problem solved.
How about you, Dave?
Is there something?
I was looking.
Well, the thing is, I wouldn't spare any expense because I was looking on Etsy for vintage
cowichan sweaters with like hockey stuff on them.
But I found some good ones, but I'm not spending $500, especially, you know, look, the weather's
getting nicer.
This is the wrong time to search.
Yeah.
Or is the right time because you're getting last year's, you know, look, the weather's getting nicer. This is the wrong time to search. Yeah. Or is it the right time?
Because you're getting last year's, you know, warm stuff.
Like I buy all my bathing suits in the winter.
How many do I own?
I'm glad you asked.
I own 16 different pairs of swim trunks.
Never go to the beach.
Never go to the pool.
You go to the beach now that you are in a relationship.
But not for splash and splashing
i'll go for a walk but i'm not getting a romance yeah you get there to get a little bit of sand in
your foreskin um i would buy a hat from this hat company called rambling rose oh that's good i could even you know there's she makes them by hand i don't know anyone that can
afford one but they're all exquisite and i don't even know that i'm a hat person but i continue to
try to buy them to for skin and like coverage but you do your skin coverage you you are i've seen
you in hats and you're yeah i think i can them off, but I don't feel comfortable or confident.
Maybe the other thing I would really love is like a beautiful emerald green silk dress.
Okay.
Something you could wear to anything sort of dressy.
Have you ever seen the movie Atonement?
I don't know.
Keira Knightley?ley anyways there's a
dress she wears in it that it's the first thing i thought of when you said oh yeah silk it's uh
it's so pretty that movie is so sad but the dress come for the sadness what's it about is it about
the like when she atones no like you know spoiler, if anybody doesn't want to know what it is,
but it's about a guy who's in love with Keira Knightley
and her little sister has a crush on the guy
and she sets him up.
She sets him up and says, like, he touched me.
He's a bad man.
And he gets, like, excommunicated from the family.
And then it kind of follows and she and then it kind of
follows his life and then it follows her life as
she tries to atone
for that action
yeah why did I
never watch that what was the one
there was a what was the Mads
Mikkelsen movie that was similar
about oh yeah that's right there is another
false accusation
yeah that sucks why put yourself
through what well because you know you see karen eiley in that dress and you're like well maybe
there's an award ceremony coming up and it never happens i can get that dress for two thousand
dollars on etsy okay really not a dress that i can wear though because i'm not a person that
can't not wear a bra but it it is beautiful. I'm thinking more like
a boat neck.
Sure.
Something that you can wear a few bras underneath.
Five to six.
Have a small man holding them.
Which I wouldn't mind.
I do stan a short
king.
Well it's short
king spring after all i love you guys hey we love you absolutely
are you kidding me this is the best this is the most fun uh speaking of which should we uh you
know tune in leather guests uh take a little bit of a breather. We'll go tell you the listener,
what we're talking about when we say max fun drive.
And you know what?
We'll be back in a flash.
Yes,
it is time to talk about the drive Queens.
Yeah.
I forgot that we,
uh,
had Hans Christian Anderson,
right?
The book for this.
And then the music was done by Bernie Toppin.
Well, Bernie did the music.
Yeah.
Lyrics guy, normally.
Yeah, I know.
A lot of the music was out of tune.
Honk.
Well, you know, that sound, the honk, means that we are in, once again,
a little thing called Max Funke. Yeah, it's the honkiest time of the year. Honk, honk, a-wo sound, the honk, means that we are in, once again, a little thing called Max Funbry.
Yeah, it's the honkiest time of the year.
Honk, honk, a-wooga, wooga.
A-hubba, hubba, ding, ding.
Hubba, ding, ding, ding.
A-wooga.
Well, it's no different than a-wooga, but sure.
Bo-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya.
I once heard that the Coca-Cola is the second most recognized word in the entire world.
What's the number one?
Boy-oy-oy-oy-ing.
Oh, boy-oy-oy-oy-oy-ing.
So, anyways, that's what we wanted to tell you.
Yeah.
A little fact for you.
Max Fun Drive.
Guys, guys, guys, gals, girls, girls, girls girls girls only guys take a break just the ladies now just the ladies this day you guys you'll get your turn uh-huh um it's uh folks
hi it's the time max fun drive let me tell you stop podcasting yourself as are all shows on maximum fun are supported by you the listener
yeah and your your membership pays for for our show especially the entirety of the show we got no
commercials we don't add yeah we don't take we sold we sold like four t-shirts last year yeah
and you know what we spent that money real fast so we need more yeah uh so the
what we need everyone to do this year is think just think think about what we mean to you yeah
and uh if this is your first time listening think about what we mean to you just in this last five
minutes yeah that's uh i mean weird that we would ask you so
soon but we're very forward we're shameless yeah exactly um well what we want to invite you to do
if you are able we uh invite you to become a member of maximum fun we would love to have you
aboard um this can be as little as five dollars a month and then there's increasing uh different kind of
steps that you can get different types of uh prizes and things like that that'll go to you
and uh but we ask every year it's just two weeks every year kind of like how public access will
show like a yanni concert and then they'll be like in the middle they'll kind of pitch
why you should uh become a member right as you're edging they'll come in there and be like don't no not yet yeah you get
stay off the acropolis you know edging to the acropolis uh we need we need you to pay for you
for the old why man uh we want we we want you to go to maximum fun.org join uh thank you to everyone who already supports
the show yeah and you know what if you uh if you don't have the scratch to uh to support no
problems our episodes stay up they're free you can go through our whole kind of back catalog at
your leisure.
And you know something that you could do?
You could rate and make a comment on our show on iTunes.
So there you go.
You can have that.
You can have all the episodes if you can't make it.
But if you can, this would be the time.
And also, if you already subscribe to the show,
or if you already support the show,
and you know that people out there want to support the show but don't have the scratch and you have a little extra, you
can give a gift membership anonymously.
I mean, you can give a gift membership to someone you know who wants to
support the show. But if you know there's just people out there who want to support the show and want
to get the bonus content and the prizes and things, you can go to
MaximumFun.org slash join
and just gift
one of these people. That's a great
idea and
great function that we have through Maximum Fun.
We're very happy
to be a part of the Maximum Fun family
and it's
always kind of a difficult position
to ask anybody for anything
ever. That's why I think a lot of
people die choking because they don't
want anybody to help.
But if you can see us right now, we're
doing the choking sign with our hands.
Please help us.
Yeah, this is
basically, we've been doing this for
14 years? Yeah,
exactly. We're a teenager.
We're going through a lot of stuff.
This show, by the way, has pubes.
Yeah, this show has pubes trying to work on a mustache.
Doesn't have sideburns, but hopes one day.
But yeah, this is your time of year.
This is your chance to join up.
If you can, we would love to have
you aboard and yeah and there's a ton of gifts that you can get if you join at different levels
we will go through those in the next break oh there's a scorcher of a bonus yeah thing we got
happening you it's not out yet you but it will be happening for months and months and oh buddy um so let's uh let's move on and we'll find out what's going on with dave
sure hi alicia welcome back hi uh dave what's going on with you oh me well you know what i
uh i've got a couple things to talk about but i also uh wanted to just there's been like so many uh kind of topics on the show in
the last few weeks that have kind of come back up and i just wanted to revisit something sure yeah
okay so a few weeks ago i think with john dore i i yeah i know i can't listen to the episodes. I love John. Stresses me out on Spy.
I know.
I know.
Look, hey, I want to ban him.
I'm dying to.
Let's do it.
Yes, this is the episode that we officially.
No, Alicia, you don't have that.
You don't carry that kind of clout around here.
But on that episode i talked about how
i had uh uh eaten uh some expired craft dinner yes that's right um and you've done this again
no but it when that episode came out many people told me dave you did that back on episode 401
you've already so i was i would like to apologize to those people.
Okay, next topic.
Yep.
This is Dave's atonement.
Yeah, this is exactly.
Vote me in one of them fancy dresses.
Honestly, you have a beautiful back.
Yeah, that's true.
Thank you.
You should see my neck and my pussy.
And your new butt the uh the uh this past weekend i saw not only did i see sonic the hedgehog too which by the way run don't walk that's what sonic would want you to do exactly no it was so bad it was two hours long
and it was i only saw it because it was playing at the local theater and because now you can
you look at a you can go online and see how many people are already have seats and you're like oh
this movie's empty i can go yeah i'll go to that but there's like it's two hours long and it's uh there's like long
stretches where sonic the hedgehog isn't in it there's like just people too expensive it's like
no one cares about this woman's wedding that's one of the blocks. All weddings. So, but then the next day, we went to see Sing To.
Oh.
Electric Boogaloo.
Every two is Boogaloo with you.
And that stars past guest Adam Buxton.
Yeah.
Oh.
And it was very good.
What is he?
What kind of animal?
Proboscis monkey? Proboscis monkey
Who's a choreographer
And I assumed
The kind of guests we can get
He's got like a line
But no he's got a few scenes
He goes up against
Taron Egerton
Good luck
But when he was on our show, he confronted me about Toblerone bars.
Yes.
Apparently, at one point, I said they weren't nice.
I have since revisited Toblerone bars, and I will say they're fine.
They're nothing.
They're not special.
There's a million better bars.
You're no longer carrying a grudge.
You're ready to heal.
Well, I might be angering him.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Well, like, you've upgraded them to fine.
They're, whatever.
Like, I don't think I ever need to get another one.
I can see them not being your thing.
Which one do you think is less, a lesser holiday treat?
Those are Ferrero Rochers.
Ferrero Rochers are freaking fantastic, dude.
Yeah.
I never had, they got nuts in them.
They've got everything.
Toblerones are just like pretty good chocolate with some kind of toffee nutty thing in them,
which is, you know, I would rather have good chocolate with like give me a
big chunk of hazelnut or almonds or whatever sure it's like such a small amount that if you
it's the perfect size of nugget or brittle whatever's in there that gets right into
your molars yeah yes like perfectly sized like so you don't enjoy it as much as you would if
it was a normal it's it's absolute molar bait uh that taffy that's molar bait absolutely love
these topics next topic uh i think we maybe said this but a couple weeks ago people were
gobsmacked that we didn't know what crab Rangoon is.
That's right.
We still don't.
I don't remember listening to that episode,
but it's not really a thing here,
apparently.
And there's also a movie called beyond Rangoon.
Yeah.
With Patricia Arquette.
Yeah.
Which I always get,
I get that mixed up with broke down palace,
Kate Beckinsale and Claire Dane and hell yeah hell yeah was that the one
where they were in uh prison yeah they were in prison like oh boy not on this side of rangoon
no yeah over on the other side of rangoon yeah what you want to do is you want to head towards
rangoon what if you if you reach rangoon keep going uh next topic a few weeks ago i talked about how there was a big chip fight
i could not get lays chips at shoppers drug mart right they're back but i need to stop drink i
need to stop eating chips i didn't i never ate chips before the pandemic no why that's very
common i never bought chips but i never really bought chips either, but when I do, I always love it.
I always think it's the best.
But yeah, it's something I could do without.
But then when I see them, if they're in the vicinity, I can't get enough of them.
That's the.
That's a problem.
I like just a regular.
I like a regular ripple.
What's your going to do?
Yeah, plain.
Just plain, regular ripple.
I like all dressed abby
likes these buffalo blue cheese ones from president's choice um but do you like a plain
one with a dip a plain ripple needs a dip no no no i i don't i just go in for the most basic
i want to appreciate the chip for the chip i I don't need to fancy it up any. Yeah, most basic.
No surprises there.
Alicia, what's your chip of choice?
It depends.
I like Cheezys, which I know don't quite count.
They count.
It's in the same section.
A puffy Cheesy, not a Hawkins, which I think are delicious, but they're too flavorful.
And I like a low-sodium plain.
Sodium plain.
Perfect.
Who makes that?
I think Lay's has a pretty good one.
One of the reasons I like them is that the dog likes them as well.
Nice.
Oh, sure.
It's hard to get a dog to eat chips.
He sometimes does, and he sometimes doesn't.
Sometimes he saves one for a couple of hours, and then he eats it.
He's very polite when you give him a chip.
What's Hank's favorite human food?
Meat.
Meat or cheese.
Yeah.
And he really likes eggs.
But he had green beans yesterday.
He ate like four green beans.
Wow.
I don't know.
That's good.
Was that a toot factory?
Yeah, he's not much of, luckily he's not much of a tooter.
Yeah.
yeah he's not much luckily he's not much of a tutor yeah i remember grandpa used to go ape for uh for uh dairy queen soft serve oh oh right yeah i buy hank his own ice cream
okay it's just a pint of coconut bliss plain so when when I'm eating ice cream, he doesn't feel puffed out.
It's a real interesting world in this apartment with the two of us.
The other, I was also going to ask you, what do you get at Dairy Queen?
No, I know the answer.
Peter, buzz your butterfly.
What do you get at Red Robin?
Oh, yeah.
Usually a burger, but it varies. i haven't found like my favorite i think i just like the plain cheeseburger best
do you go do they have a gluten-free bun they like they have like a whole allergen program
oh really so it's i can eat there and say i have a gluten allergy and then they take it super
seriously yeah they don't give you the jerk off a gluten allergy. And then they take it super seriously. Yeah.
They don't give you the jerk off motion.
Yeah.
Do you wish I would take it super seriously?
No, I love the amount of seriousness you give my health conditions.
That's cool.
Gives me humble.
Next topic.
A few weeks ago, Graham, you were talking about how there's a ban on plastic bags in Vancouver.
That's right.
But they're the perfect bags to be just the liner of your dustbin.
Yes.
What are we?
And that was the word I used, was dustbin.
Dustbin.
I said when the governor comes around, I make sure the dustbin is out by the lorry.
Yeah, park life uh what is the word uh like
your garbage can i know what's the one i'm thinking of that you haven't like uh you throw
paper into oh just like yeah uh office yeah basket maybe waste basket maybe could be paper Basket, maybe. Waste basket. No. Maybe. Could be. Paper.
Yeah.
Anyway, so did this, have you been, you thought about like trying to bribe a store employee to get, because they must have extras back.
They just made it illegal to give them away, but they're there.
They got to be there.
Yeah.
Where are you?
Any update on that i um
i was in calgary uh and i loaded up there i gotta like you know what do you mean you just went
grocery shopping no i just like everybody's got bags at their house and they were more than happy
to just give me all their plastic bags so yeah so i've got all those plastic bags and uh i know we used to just like there was a
place you could go to recycle your plastic bags before and we used to do that and we
or we're kicking ourselves yeah yeah exactly so now we get like any like bread bag from the store
we hold on to yeah any um like i went when we went to edmonton a couple weeks ago i was like
oh they have like a laundry bag in the closet of the hotel oh shit can i tell you my one story about
going yeah uh this plastic bag i forgot about so i went to shoppers drug mart and i didn't i forgot
to bring a bag with me but but I had a bunch of things.
So what I did was, they have these bags that you can put your umbrella in while you walk around the store.
They stay dry.
I used that.
I put this tiniest stuff at the bottom and slowly built it out like a pyramid.
You bought a bunch of eggs?
One egg.
I was there when this happened. I couldn't really quite believe it was happening like first you're like oh this is such a great idea and then you hold up this
narrow triangular shaped bag but you're also carrying a giant box of cereal and i'm like
that's not gonna fit you're like you just wait well we live very close to a
drugstore and i always forget my bags and i just like load up my coat yeah i'm for that as well
but it just it was one of those inspired moments where it's just a flash of genius you just have
to go with it you know yeah you're like greg kinnear inventing the intermittent windshield wiper.
Yes, yeah.
Or the girl Jennifer Lawrence inventing a mop.
The mop, yeah.
Joy, your joy.
The other topic, this is sort of related to that.
So I use, this is kind of a retail nightmare.
You'll enjoy this, Alicia, if you ever invite me back on your show.
I, in this city, you, they only collect garbage once a week, but they collect your yard trimmings and food waste.
Oh, they collect garbage every two weeks and your yard trimmings and food waste every week. So they encourage you, put all your organics in a green bin and they'll pick it up every week.
Right.
And we usually, what we've been doing for years is we just get paper like lunch bags, like you would bring to school as a kid.
And we fill those up.
They fill up in like a day because we don't want to have a big bag of old whatever yeah stuff that just like gets stinkier the longer it's out
on the counter i see i'm in the opposite boat i love it but i don't know if it's the supply chain or what, but for like three weeks, you could not get any paper bags in the city.
Any paper, just like small lunch bags.
You could get the like fancy, expensive, organic food bags.
Yeah.
But we just wanted the regular ones.
And we were going, we went to every grocery store, every drug store.
Canadian Tire's website said they had them, but they weren't there when we went there.
And then, you know, Abby finally bought some today.
The story didn't have an end.
I was just thinking, I wonder if I have any I can give you guys.
In the future, a good place to find those, dollar stores.
Mm-hmm.
You can find them at dollar stores.
Also, if you just want a single can
of pop, dollar stores.
They always have a little fridge and you can buy one
can of pop. And because if you
don't want a plastic bottle that you gotta...
I won't go to a dollar store. I'm too...
I love throwing my money away.
I only go to $500
stores.
I get these... It only shops at Fendi.
Yeah. I want to get one of these rambling rose hats
for the elitist eyeing um uh so that's those are all my topics okay but i do have one other thing
that happened to me this week so we it was a four-day weekend for the kids first day we went
to sonic the hedgehog two second Is that through two hours of that?
It's true, it's two hours.
He's pregnant.
Yeah, that's what I've heard. He's pregnant.
He's not showing in that one.
Okay, okay.
The next day we went to see Sing 2.
The next day
we went to, it was Easter Sunday,
Cirque du Soleil.
Whoa.
Holy shit.
What a great weekend for a kid.
Yeah, that's like the type of weekend you would have if you had relatives coming in from out of town.
Like, let's do all the things.
Cirque du Soleil, we had been there once before with Margot, and we loved it.
And it was so good, and the clown was great, and it was a water-themed one.
And it was also, it was a water themed one and it was also it was a mexico themed one too like it was put on by tourism mexico so they had like every act that came out
had something to do with mexico there was like a guy who just did soccer ball tricks there was
like a jungly one there was i don't know uh aztecs yeah then there was a danny trejo paper mache danny trejo yeah sure and danny trejo
busted out of it yeah he busts out he juggled a machete yeah he says he tells kids to stay
on the straight and narrow that's a big thing to him because he was in jail um anyway yes uh was cirque de so lame this one was not as good oh shit um it was allegria i don't
i don't know if you know the story of allegria well there's a madman and it seems that he's
captured the allegria and the rest of the show it's taking place in his mind oh wow
doesn't seem did the kids get it? Did the girls get it?
I don't know if I got it, but it was a lot.
There was no showstopper.
Okay.
But it was like, everything was really good and really fun.
I think I bought the tickets back in december and i was like oh the oh they say the pandemic will be over by april so let's get some tickets yeah i was really
excited but i think we can take a few years off from the circus i don't like uh cirque de soleil
but it's it's not that it isn't good is that i don't enjoy it the way other people do like it
makes me feel uncomfortable me too it makes me other people do. Like it makes me feel uncomfortable.
Me too.
It makes me feel scared for the people.
Yeah.
Makes me feel like when you put your finger in your belly button and it kind of sick for a second.
Yeah.
It's like that the whole show for me.
Um,
uh,
and both times I've gone there,
I've been sitting around people who like know a lot about Cirque du Soleil
right which is weird
right
they were all dressed like their favorite clown
but that's it that's the top
place if you're like a circus
person used to be Ringling
Brothers now it's
Barnum Bailey yeah you only had to do one thing
like high wire walking well i feel like in circuit to do a lot of different i think all these people
do like it's it seems very egalitarian like you go out and you do your bit but then you're also
in the ensemble when you're like doing transitioning between scenes.
Right.
But they're very fit.
The circus people.
They will fit.
Yeah, they will fit.
Anyway, you guys have any circus aspirations?
What's the most circusy thing you can do?
I can lift those big barbellbells the big round guys okay
lift it up over my head and i can eat i can eat a whole party sub if you stay long enough
i'll eat it there was a guy there was someone on the vancouver subreddit uh there's two the two
my two favorite things i've ever seen on the van subreddit. One, the city just catalogs every tree in the city.
Oh, I didn't know that.
Every, on city-owned property.
So like all the boulevards, all through the city.
You go to this website and it tells you the species of every tree, how long it's been there.
I did not know that.
Yeah.
uh i did not know that yeah and then the other thing uh someone was a person who said hey where can i get like a really like a six foot party sub in the city but not individual pieces of bread
like a six foot long piece of bread yeah and in my mind i'm like yeah where can you do that and
then the comments are like those don't exist there there's you need giant ovens and i was like my whole
dream just collapsed
i would never have thought about the oven yeah i think that there's probably an industrial oven
that would cook yeah a six foot a six foot skinny loaf well like you know like if you
think about a crematorium,
that's gotta be at least six feet long. I'm never not.
Yeah.
That's gotta be at least six feet.
I love that one up,
uh,
on Fraser that has the temperature on it.
It's telling you the outside temperature,
but I'm always like,
what temperature are you telling us about?
Oh yeah,
sure.
Like,
yeah,
we're,
uh,
cremating people and pets, but also do you want like a big focaccia
i mean you can look at our board of what we offer here but
yuck um anyway so what's going on with you well like yourself i went to go see a film and uh it's a film called the batman
and it's you know it's robert pattinson this hunky hunky jawline and this is the first time
he's played any anything related to a bat or anything spooky you know he hasn't been anything spooky except this. Okay. It is funny because his Bruce Wayne, it's very emo.
Like all the other Bruce Wayans are like, playboy out on the town.
His is kind of sulky.
He has like a combed down, hair in his eyes kind of look.
And the thing that I thought was hilarious about the Batman.
I told you yesterday when I saw you that my favorite thing
about it is that it's the title is what like an old lady would call it you're gonna go see the
batman what an old lady would call batman so it uh in the movie like a lot of all the other movies
batman's kind of like in the dark and then he pops out and he fights bad guys
and then he goes back to the dark this batman is hanging out all over the place he's walking
through crime scenes where people are collecting uh all the kind of evidence he just walks through
because usually batman would show up he would do the thing and then the cops show up and batman's
already taken care of yeah all the criminals are tied up this guy he just walks in and he's already taken care of. Yeah, all the criminals are tied up. This guy, he just walks in
and he's just hanging out there
and all the cops are like,
oh, this guy.
He's got one of those
Greek New York cups of coffee.
He's got a party swab.
He's trying to make friends.
And so, yeah, it's funny that he hangs out.
And then there's a thing in the movie.
This is a spoiler,
so just zip forward if you don't want to hear it.
Okay.
Can we?
Yeah.
I haven't seen it.
And I was planning on seeing it.
Were you planning on seeing it?
Yeah, of course.
Okay.
I won't tell you that thing.
But it is funny that he walks around.
And it's funny that they call the guy the Riddler.
They don't do that usually in these like more grimy greasy dark
well don't they
in the Christian Bale ones
they called the Joker the Joker
yeah but he's the Joker you know what I
mean who else are you going to call that guy
I thought that guy was called the Riddler
but it sounds too
silly right anyways I went and saw
it and then the very next day it was free on
Crave so oh it's free now yeah yeah yeah if you got it on crave all right but it's very long right it's like
a sonic and a half it's a sonic and a half and you know what a lot of people are doing robert
pattinson pregnant uh fan art oh i would like to see that him in his batman suit with a nice
now um you say that most batmans are in the dark yeah do they
do i would like to see a movie where one of the batman where batman goes to one of those dark
restaurants eats a hot dog like a copacorn gets mustard all over the place and like this is the
first time i and i never thought of this ever before is that batman
in his bat cave would be covered in bat shit because there's bats everywhere it only occurred
to me when i was watching it this time are there always does every bat cave have bats or do they
just call the bat cave because like everything he has is branded there's always a scene where they like, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, fly away. Yeah, exactly.
Wee, wee, wee, wee, wee.
You're like this little piggy.
Bats are not really scary animals.
Well.
Yeah.
Wait till they shit all over you.
Because I think like they carry rabies.
Have you ever met a bat?
No, I haven't.
I saw one.
Like here.
Yeah.
It was very small.
When we were in Palm springs over spring break there were
every night they were flying around oh wow oh that's so cool um and then once when we were
when i was a kid when we went on vacation in like idaho or oregon a bat got in our cabin and
my dad had to catch it with a pillowcase. That's stressful. And then he just tossed the whole thing
out the door or he just let him go?
No, then he dipped it in
warm water and made bad tea.
Guano tea.
But the other thing about going to this movie, like
you were saying when you went to see a film,
you can pick
where you're sitting.
So then the idea, I think think is to be away from people somebody picked the seat right next to mine come on
guys come on what the what the f but then she was getting the food she was ordering the food
that comes to the theater that's like not very fragrant smell yeah what else can you
wait did she ordered the food yeah she like they have this was like a
theater oh they delivered i didn't realize you were a very important person yes very important
podcaster yeah exactly um but yeah so what did she get something greasy um do you think
this is going to be
the summer of corn
absolutely are you
kidding me i'm going
to go i'm going to
listen to nothing but
corn i'm going to eat
as much corn as i can
possibly how much
corn do you usually
eat every summer
cob wise as much as i
can handle count
count cobs i will
count cobs this
summer i can't have
it i'm counting
like i i love corn on the cob but i think
i maybe eat six cobs a summer yeah i was gonna say between six and twelve depending on how readily
available it is i think i'm 12 and up is uh do you do you cook it yourself sometimes yeah but
also just go out of my way to do you have a gigantic pot yeah okay yeah yeah oh no borrowed object oh sure
from from gargamel yeah from gargamel he was making some gargamel's cat when i was a kid
azrael yeah um the uh do you go to the store and uh shuck it in the store?
I shuck at home.
It feels rude to do it in the store.
Well, they have, some stores have like an area for you to shuck.
That's true.
I usually shuck at home.
The shuck shack.
I'm too shy to shuck in public.
Yeah, it's probably for the best.
Because people will see your shuck technique and they'll be like, oh, she shucks like that.
Well, she fucks like that. It's not wrong and it's not great um a lot of really
good questions yeah well batman a good film like batman will will uh make you it'll prompt a lot
of these good questions good discussions yes yeah yeah i love it uh have
you ever had like mexican street corn that has all like the lovely toppings on and stuff i've
never had it it looks so good it's amazing like it is it's kind of like a thing that you're like
why haven't i been eating it this way my whole life yeah yeah it's it's amazing probably one
of the top carnival foods i'll just eat a can of corn cold.
I think it's so delicious.
Yeah.
Corn rules.
Corn rules.
Everyone knows it.
It's in my top five yellow foods.
All right.
List them.
You got to have banana.
Banana.
Yeah.
Pineapple.
Oh, amazing.
Corn.
Boy.
I'm going to say lemon meringue pie okay
that's on your list
and then hollandaise sauce
oh boy yeah
you're not wrong
what about like butter
oh butter
yeah butter is a big
maybe a papaya
it's more on the orange side
oh yeah no mango mango is yellow definitely yellow mangoes of good yellow foods. Maybe a papaya. It's more on the orange side. Oh, yeah.
No, mango. Mango's yellow. Yeah, mango's
definitely yellow mangoes.
Mango's above
pineapple for me
for sure. Okay.
And I gotta tell you, I'm just mad about
saffron.
Do you guys wanna
do a little bit of business before we head into
overheard? Sure.
All right.
Well, you know what?
We've done a good job on the podcast so far.
I'm sure you would agree.
We've earned this.
Yeah, we've earned this break.
If you zip past the first half of the episode, you might be surprised to learn that it's the MaxFunDrive. It's two weeks out of the year where all the podcasts on the Maximum Fun Network invite you to be a part of the network by way of signing up to support the shows that you love.
And here's how it works.
You go to MaximumFun.org slash join.
You say, I want to support the network at a certain amount per month.
And the website will say, what shows do you want to support the network at a certain amount per month. And the website will say, what shows do you
want to support? And there's so many shows on the
network. I know the one you like the best
is a whole stop podcasting
yourself a Reno in it.
But if you listen to a couple of the lesser shows,
you can feel free to click on those as well.
David
specifically says not to put down the other shows.
Does he really?
No, but I'm making will next year please we can't warn you enough do not throw the other shows under the bus look uh you know what
we split the money evenly so you know if you like us our show you like another show
hey there's no such thing as a lesser show because we got we're all even here that's
right yes it's uh socialism what we do in canada yeah um now let us run through because each level
of membership say five dollars a month or ten dollars a month that uh that has different bonus
uh gifts that you get but before but what i was getting at is your donation, your
membership goes directly to
the shows you listen to.
That's right.
Doesn't go to Jim Kramer.
No. It doesn't go to
Glenn Beck.
No. These are all people who are
not on the air anymore, I think.
It doesn't go to Don Hugh. It doesn't go to Kramer
versus Kramer. That's right. It doesn't go to kramer versus kramer that's right doesn't go to kramer versus kramer uh it goes to the shows you support the shows
you choose at maximumfund.org join okay so yeah if you're five bucks per month uh-huh you get what
do you get you get all the bonus content ever created for our show, for my brother, my brother and me, for Jordan, Jessica, for all the shows across the network.
Tons and tons, over 350 hours of bonus content for all the shows.
Now we, for years, we put out one bonus episode a year.
Yeah.
But starting last year, we said, hey, not everyone cares about, you know, a piece of apparel.
Right.
A trinket.
People like to show.
A tisket, a tasket.
Right.
People like to show.
They want more of the show.
So every month for the past year, we've been putting out two bonus episodes.
That's right.
We went from one bonus episode a year to 24.
Yeah, we hit the gym and fuck do we look good i mean i fell i fell under a big uh like one of those machines with
the weights that go up and down and i've been stuck there a weight machine do you say no, no, no. A pulley. And, but yeah, so we, this past year, every month, basically, we did a hot topic show
where we talked about things that we didn't get around to in the regular episode.
Plus we did like an alt show, some kind of weird idea that we had.
Yeah.
We did an episode all about Canadian heritage moments.
We did an episode of Canadian commercials. We did an episode all about Canadian heritage moments. We did an episode of Canadian commercials.
We did an episode of Christmas commercials.
We watched, we had Noor Hadidi come on and watch Footloose with us.
Footloose, that's right.
Because we had never seen it before.
We had Katie Sikelski, who had been on Jeopardy, tell us all about going on Jeopardy.
That was a cool one.
Yeah.
That was especially cool.
These bonus episodes, there's something special. And was a cool one. That was especially cool. These bonus episodes,
there's something special. And I want
to announce, here in the
coming up,
in addition to two
a month, we have been
working. Secret
project. That is going to
be coming out in the bonus
feed.
You're going to want to piece it
you're going to want to get in
you know there's a topic that's been coming up an awful lot on Stop Podcasting Yourself lately
and that topic is
Mr. Bean
Mr. Bean
the show from 30 years ago
about the silly man
the silliest man
and I can't even believe that
he hasn't aged
that's the great thing
About him
30 years ago
Still as fresh today
As he ever was
And we had an idea
Hey what if we started
Watching every episode
Of Mr. Bean
And recapping
Literally every gag
From every second
Of every episode
And just enjoying
Every gag
Just laughing along
So you're gonna
If you support the show at $5 a month,
you're going to get your bonus episodes and you're going to get our 14 part
series yet.
Mr.
B yet to be named where we watch Mr.
Bean and recap it for you.
Now, if you are able to donate at the $10,
I did get let people pull their jaws off the floor.
Okay.
Now, surely by now your bow tie has stopped spinning.
If you can give at $10 per month, you would get all of the bonus episodes we just talked about.
And you would get one of 35 embroidered patches you can get ours yeah that
says we're not that kind of show and has kind of the sweary cartoon letters and you can put that
on your denim jacket and you can or you you know denim vest or your tuxedo whatever you want your
denim anything denim this is i mean i guess it could maybe go into something non-denim, but these patches, you think denim.
Yeah, denim or a sash.
I was thinking maybe a boy scout sash.
Oh, for sure.
Boy scouts, girl scouts, brownies, sparks.
And, you know, you can put this on your jacket,
your Jansport fanny pack,
but you can choose your favorite
from the 36 ones that they've made.
It's obviously you're
going to be choosing ours because it's the best um and uh you're going to get your own letterpress
max fun membership card uh so that's cool it's like when i was part of the elf fan club yeah
it's cool i kept it in my wallet yeah well you when did why why did you leave the elf fan club
uh i have been left oh okay still a practicing you were
you were kicked out no no no no no i'm i'm one of their faves so at that's at ten dollars a month
uh but at ten dollars a month you'll also get the bonus content in addition to all that stuff now at
twenty dollars a month you will get the bonus content you will get the patch and you will get a choice of either
the max fun creativity pack or the rocket hat you gotta get in on that rocket hat you know
unless you uh you know have like some kind of disease where you can't put a hat on like uh i
don't know what kind of disease like you're born put a hat on. Like, uh, I don't know what kind of disease, like you were born without sweat glands or something like that.
Uh,
so because you get too hot,
a hat would make you get too hot.
Yeah.
So then the creativity pack is what you get.
Yeah.
So if you choose a creativity pack,
we assume you have no sweat glands.
The Max Fun creativity pack will help you get in a creative headspace and live life to the fullest. Artist and Max
Funster, Ellen Vandermyde, illustrated a beautiful deck of 54 cards in the Max Fun Inspiration Deck.
Each card has an activity suggestion from your favorite hosts or your pals at Max Fun designed
to inspire you and enjoy friends nature food you time making some art
and other kinds of fun we put a suggestion we suggested an activity yeah yeah it's not go
fuck yourself it's like a real kick rocks um it also uh comes with three postcards a piece of
non-hardening colorful modeling clay that's what i call my penis. Yeah, that's true. That is what Dave calls his penis.
And a custom black wing pencil to encourage you to make your
thing. But if you want the hat, you can just choose the hat.
It's a hat with a rocket on it. It's pretty cool.
Yeah, it looks really good. And then if you're able to join at the
35 per month club not able but
also willing uh we will uh you're going to get the bonus content you're going to get the max fun
creative creativity pack or rocket hat one of 35 embroidered patches letterpress max fun membership
bonus content and a max fun messenger bag
you're gonna you're gonna be like kevin costner in the postman yeah you're gonna be you're gonna
be uh bringing documents all over this damn city this town needs an enema uh well there's more you
can get at different levels uh all that information is available to you at MaximumFun.org.
Slash join.
Do it now while it's on your mind.
And these, by the way, are for new and upgrading members.
Okay, let's get back to the show.
How about some overheards?
Hell yeah.
Overheard.
Okay, well, we're back.
Let's dive right into my favorite segment of the show.
If you're out there in the world and you hear or see something
or feel particularly fantastic about something maybe you did on your own,
you report them back here on the podcast,
and we make hay with it while you're listening at home.
And we always like to start with the guest.
Alicia, would you please?
So I always have great overheards.
I never write them down.
I never think that I'm going to forget them, and I always do.
So I'm choosing an overseen.
It's something that I love to see.
It's something...
You love to see it.
I love to see it.
It happens to my work social media.
It happens to the best of us.
It happens to the best of us.
It's on social media, especially Instagram, under people's posts that have a lot of followings.
There's just these spam comments about how so-and-so cured their herpes.
Oh, really?
And it's all over the place it's so funny it could be an
absolutely earnest post or an advertisement and it's there's similar ones that are about like
making money through nfts but the herpes one oh it makes me laugh every time it's like i never
thought i would get rid of my herpes but so-and-so's herbal remedy cured me I haven't had herpes
for three years you must
use this herbal remedy
you could just be looking at like a beautiful
horse
yeah beautiful horse and then
there'll be like multiple
things and like I have to go in at work and like
delete them
always makes me laugh
it makes me laugh I It makes me laugh.
I'm like, did we know? How long has that been there
before we caught it?
I love it.
It's annoying, but very funny.
I love it. I don't have herpes.
I have one big herpe. Just one.
Oh, yeah. That's the way.
One. Boy, this is
a monkey on my back.
Herpe on my back.
Gross. You guys. Gross. What what if you're out there and you have herpes keep at it you know what i mean yeah you just gotta click on this
link yeah you gotta see if this tea will help you yeah with your uh with your herpy situation
you got a friend in us um dave do you have an overheard? This isn't great.
It can be from Sonic 2 if you want.
Oh, okay.
Well, in that case, yeah, I got a great one.
So Sonic's like, gotta go fast.
And then he's like running so fast.
And Tails is there.
He's spitting his tail.
He's like...
And Jim Carrey's Dr. Robotnik.
Ooh, the old egghead.
And he wants to get the big, you know, emerald.
Oh.
That's pretty good. Yeah. Yeah,, emerald. Oh. That's pretty good.
Yeah, lots of spoilers in there.
That's true.
So there was one of these Cirque du Soleil know-it-alls behind me.
Okay.
At Cirque du Soleil.
And there was a guy with a woman. He was mansplaining Cirque de Soleil to her
and uh he said um or um like he was pointing out that because there's a intermission in the middle
he's pointing out the things that had changed in the set and there was like there had been a big
wheel that a guy just rolled around on. One of those big.
Yeah.
Like,
like when you've got a sword lower back,
like you just kind of like did a foam roller.
Yeah.
A guy just came and went back there.
That's his thing.
He goes back to the chorus.
And then afterwards he's like,
that feels better.
It feels better.
Yeah.
And there had been this big apparatus above that disappeared and they lowered down these weird kind of like spheres that were metal that had like grips on them.
And, uh, the woman said, uh, what do you think those things are?
And the know-it-all said, well, they're attached to cords.
So I imagine they'd be used for something acrobatic.
It was like, no shit, dude.
Everything here is.
I think it's probably circus related.
Do you think that they were a couple on a date?
New, old, or relationship?
Friends?
I think, yeah.
You know, friends with benefits.
Oh, does that still happen?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The benefits are usually tickets to the circus.
Yeah, or if you have a long enough term friend, then benefits from their work.
Oh, sure, yeah.
Right, fraud.
Yeah, dental.
Yeah.
Can you do that if you have, like, insurance if you're just like well i'm never
you look i i know i'm a lifelong single person but you know what i like i'd like fred to have uh
yeah you know invisalign why not i feel like if you're willing to pay for it they should just
give it to you yeah exactly just give it to you this is alicia tobin on your side
everybody should have that kind of coverage it's fucked up and it is fucked up um my overheard
glad you asked i'm so sorry but i'm not the overheard oh no no i guess i'm kind of the host um hey graham do you have an overheard yes i do thank
you uh i was passing by two very broey but not in a bad way pals yeah just like two guys that are
you know what i mean they're in their early 20s i honestly don't know how bro-y could be a bad way. Oh, right. That's right.
Anyways, they were sharing their plans for the summer.
When summer hits, what are they going to do?
And the one guy said, I'll tell you what I'm going to do.
I'm going to ask for a raise, and then I'm taking off to Europe.
Hey, can I get a raise?
Cool.
Arrivederci. Arrivederci.
That's going to be a huge race.
That sort of money just show up next month.
Oh,
yeah.
I've never asked for a raise before, so I don't know.
I don't know how that,
how that conversation goes.
Yeah.
I usually just quit.
Yeah.
I think I usually just get a better job.
I mean,
I think technically for these two weeks every year,
we ask for a raise from our listeners.
Yeah.
Maximumfun.org slash join.
Come on, give us that raise and you won't see us for the rest of the spring.
It's off to Europe.
Graham and I are going to go to the canals of Venice.
We're going to go to the Alps of Switzerland.
We're going to go to the, boy, the waffles of Venice. We're going to go to the Alps of Switzerland. We're going to go to the, boy,
the waffles of Belgium.
We're going to go to London
and stay with our friend Adam Buxton.
We're going to go to... He's not in London.
He's, you know, two hours away on a train.
Yeah, but we'll stay there. That's fine.
Norwich. Norfolk?
Nor... Norwich?
Nordstrom's?
He lives in a Nordstrom's rat.
Oh. I have asked for a raise yeah did you get it i did not get what get it and the person kept their sunglasses on the entire time
wow that's a power move oh you know what i asked for a raise uh at a place where i knew i was
gonna quit oh so you were like maybe i'll stick asked for a raise uh a place where i knew i was gonna quit oh so you
were like maybe i'll stick around for a couple months with yeah if you gave me this money i
might stay how did it go i i was walking home within minutes
that's not gonna happen okay well i'll be on my way had to be done now we also have overheard sent in from listeners all over the world
if you want to send one in to us you can send it into sby at maximum fun
dot org the first one comes from noah in indiana i work at a public library and there's a guy who
calls the phone at the front desk pretty regularly
to ask us to look up information for him
he's previously asked to tell him
the role a deacon in a church
was and why so many
so many Polish last
names end with wicks
and the other day he called
us and asked us to define three terms
he'd been hearing a lot on TV
cancel culture woke
and risotto he sounds very sweet he does yeah very sweet he's still got curiosity about the
world around him which is yeah he must have the internet i guess or a dictionary oh like you
couldn't just look up woke if you didn't have a
that's true if you didn't have you didn't have yeah you could call the could you call the library
and say hey what is kevin bacon's dick like i'm going to they're like well i'll transfer you to
another department we've got somebody upstairs who can answer cheryl she knows all about it
Dr. Cheryl, she knows all about it.
It's just like drooling on the floor. Yeah, hello?
Can we make a dick hotline?
1-800-K-E-B-I-N-D-I-C-B-E.
Were the ones he had called in earlier?
What a deacon in a church was yeah why so many polish
last names end with like wicks oh yeah i always assume if something's um like common in a country's
last names i assume it just means son of oh yeah yes yeah and it's uh this guy if he got on the
internet he'd have the best time of his life.
Because he would be able to answer so many questions.
That's what the song I've Had the Time of My Life from Dirty Dancing is about.
It's weird that they knew so far in the future, but you're right.
Well, yeah.
Yeah.
I would love to hear what Noah said.
Like what his definitions were, if he just Googled it and then read it to him, I guess.
I'm sure he'd just make something up.
Yeah, maybe he made something up.
What do you think a deacon does?
Is deacon in charge of the money?
Yeah, he's the getaway guy when you're doing a job.
I feel like he's the paperwork guy.
It's a Baptist thing.
I feel like he's the paperwork guy.
It's a Baptist thing.
Within each Baptist church is a group of deacons chosen for devout attributes to assist the pastor,
preach to the congregation, and reach out to the community.
Hey, community.
Gimme, gimme, gimme.
It's also, we had them in the Catholic church.
Really? It's an ordained minister of an order ranking below that of priest.
Hmm.
Hmm.
You guys are really good at looking at definitions. We don't have a lot of priest. Hmm. Hmm. You guys are really good at looking at definition.
We don't have a lot of interest.
Yeah.
This next one comes from Adam from Texas.
Uh-huh.
I have an overseen for you.
While driving home recently, I saw a bumper sticker which read,
Titty Bingo.
Titty Bingo, eh?
Titty Bingo.
With a T?
Yep.
Titty Bingo. Titty Bingo. a T? Yep Titty Bingo
where does your mind go?
aside from in the gutter
Titty Bingo
sounds like a fun
vaudeville act name
Titty Bingo. I'm thinking of it as a game
is it a game you play in the car?
is it a game you play while
watching movies like
right where you're like if this certain
amount of things it's a song yes titty bingo is a song well dave can you bring it up so we can
listen to titty bingo give me the beat boys be my soul i want to get lost in a titty bingo I can probably bring it up.
Yeah, that's probably better.
Yeah, let me find it.
Let me find it.
Titty Bingo is the artist.
Oh, sorry.
From what I'm hearing off of Alicia's phone,
it sounds pretty good.
This is a track called
My Mom's My Teacher from Kiddy Bingo.
My mom's not rich.
My mom's not famous.
She says don't worry.
She looks out for us.
You said it was a song. It's got to be a song. But it's, if it's,
you said it was a song.
Yes.
It's gotta be a song.
No,
I think,
uh,
I don't know.
Titty bingo.
If you're out there,
we're ready to help bring you to Vancouver to do a live concert.
So I think it was just like a,
they're from Austin.
So they just must be a fan and or titty bingo themselves
right yeah well we're big yeah they have 10 000 followers on instagram instagram and they've been
playing since 1989 since i was just a sparkle oh my god wow yeah since i was i wasn't even born
yeah me either 1989 wow do you think they'd have more followers since then.
Yeah, that's right.
You could have got an original Instagram with Polaroids that you then posted at the post office.
Check off that they liked it or not.
This last one comes from Tom in Clinton, New York.
Just heard my seven-year-old son yelling from the bathroom.
Whoa, that is a lot of pee.
Yeah, we've all been there i don't have all day yeah sometimes you do an austin powers and that's uh
very satisfying that's a nice time spent probably the best of your day some days yeah
you think of it as an austin powers i think of it as a frank trebon from naked gun yes yeah yeah what do you think was the original uh
long urination scene in movies get out of cinephiles yeah that's right yeah what is the
yeah what is the og takes a long time to be to be either sex or neither sex we just want to know
graham there's more than
two sexes. I would like to
apologize to Graham for saying that only two
sexes are allowed to pee.
Yeah, we should wrap this up.
It's really reading between the lines of what I said
but...
In addition to overhears that are written
in, we also accept your phone calls.
If you would like to call us, our phone number is 1-844-779-7631.
That's one.
Kevin Bacon's dick.
iPod one.
Like these people have.
Don't talk when I'm doing.
I will do what I please.
Alicia, you're being very disrespectful.
I'm sorry.
All right. Phone calls. alright phone calls let's do this
hey Dave Graham and probably
a guest this is Dalton
from South San Francisco
calling in with an overseen
I'm getting boba at the
gas station and I saw this guy
wearing a sweatshirt
that had a cartoony
Jesus that was
stomping on top
of the devil.
A cartoony devil.
And the quote bubble says,
You mad, bro?
And to top it all off, it's
Easter weekend.
Thanks, guys. Love the show.
Getting some boba at the gas station.
Yeah. Sucking down chili dogs.
That's the new chili dog.
Yeah.
Where's the weirdest place you've ever gotten boba?
Ladies.
I've only ever had boba like once or twice.
I never know what to order, even though...
Oh, speaking of
old things that I was revisiting from old shows
i tried bubble tea oh yeah like last summer and i didn't like it and then courtney gilmore on the
show told me to try it a different way with uh with popping boba in a fruit thing a fruity tea
yeah it was really good okay good good i always want to try that brown sugar one.
Yeah, I do too.
It seems very.
Let's do that on a Red Robin day.
Well, I know.
Oh, yeah.
Red Robin and brown sugar Boba one day.
You're really mean.
Next phone call.
Hey, Dave Graham and guests.
Gosh, I'm always so happy that no one answers this phone
Such an anxiety of mine
I have what I'm calling an over-grossed
My dad told me
That
He was at my
Sister's house and my nephew
By the way
This is really disgusting and
You might want to skip ahead 15 seconds if you're eating
Or usually grossed out
He picked his nose And then he stuck it on a chip disgusting and you might want to skip that 15 seconds if you're eating or usually grossed out.
He picked his nose and then he stuck it on a chip and ate
it.
Which is equally
disgusting as it is funny to me.
That's hard to do
with something that gross. Anyway,
yep.
Catch you later.
I would rather see open heart surgery
than hear that
you used to have it
on TV all the time
that's true
open heart surgery
yeah
no chips and burgers
I only played
I only played it
because it reminded me
of Alicia's stories
of her brother
oh yeah
and the light switch
the light switch
and the poop
and the poop
we can't forget that
never we can never forget it uh go back and
listen to i don't know one of the earlier episodes listen to all alicia's episodes
yeah they're great one of the best yeah one of the best you got y'all ready for one final overheard
hell yeah hell yeah hi dave graham and special guest. My name is Dana and I'm calling in with an overheard from Philadelphia.
So I work on a university campus.
And this week we're having a special event for incoming freshmen and their families to come to the campus and in on classes, that kind of stuff to get them excited about joining in the fall.
So I work in a building that has classroom space and administrative offices.
building that has classroom space and administrative offices. And I was walking down the hallway,
and I saw what seemed to be two parents and a college-age kid waiting outside one of the bathrooms. And a little boy emerges from the bathroom who maybe looks like he's six or seven
years old, and who I assumed to be the dad goes, how'd it go in there, bud? And the little boy
whispers and says, I just washed my hands in college
anyway i thought that was very silly and cute bye oh man kind of the opposite of the earlier over
oh boy that's delightful i did it i knew that i wanted to do it and i did it first thing in
university check yeah just like you know every Yeah. They all wash their hands in college.
That's the most adorable overheard.
My God.
Oh, man.
Well, that's what we're all about here.
We're in a show of adorable things and disgusting things.
Highs and lows.
Yeah.
You know, the yin and the yang.
Yep.
And everybody out there
thank you for
donating or coming aboard as a
member of
Maximum Fun on the
MaxFunDrive
this is the last time we'll bother you
about it this week
we want you to head over to
MaximumFun.org
slash join.
We are 100% listener supported.
And the show means a lot to us.
It means a lot to you.
Yeah.
And we appreciate it if you, you know.
Pony up.
Pony up and, you know, make it official.
Yeah.
That's right.
And Alicia. Yes. Thank you That's right. And Alicia.
Yes.
Thank you so much for being our guest.
Anytime.
Honest to God, you're one of the favorites of all time.
Yeah.
It's a pleasure.
And thanks to all the people that like my episodes.
It's always so sweet.
It means a lot to me to see that.
Yeah.
Feedback, too.
Now you know that you and Dave can go for a Red Robin date. Yeah.
If nothing else, you know, that's what
this episode will do.
Bottomless pop.
Well, Graham, you can go too. We could all go.
Yeah? I'd be afraid of bottomless
pop though. I think I'd really
One of you could drive us.
So we could get home faster.
Oh yeah, that's true. I don't have to say I made the mistake
of having three.
No amount of peeing before you walk home,
the hour walk home uphill.
Oh, yeah.
That Whole Foods bathroom is right at the perfect point.
It's right at the halfway point.
Yeah, where I'm like, I've made some bad decisions.
Remember when there was
a closer Red Robin
and they closed it?
Yeah, I don't know
that I ever ate at that one.
Oh, it was good.
It had a beautiful view.
And they haven't replaced it
with anything yet
as far as I know.
That's, yeah,
like closer to Oak Street, right?
Right on Oak and Broadway, baby.
There's one in Burnaby.
Yeah, no thanks.
Okay, for all you listening out there, we could talk about where the Red Robin is or used to be. Right on Oak and Broadway, baby. There's one in Burnaby. Yeah. No, thanks. Okay.
For all you listening out there, we could talk about where the Red Robin is or used to be.
Listen, I feel so censored.
Don't censor me.
We used to go to one on West Broadway.
It's Atlanta.
Thank you, everybody, for listening out there.
Thank you for becoming members.
Then it became a Swiss chalet.
Oh, yeah.
Take care of yourselves and one another and come on back next week
for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself
okay let's take a few
minutes to talk about Max Fund Drive.
Here we go.
All right, and I will do one as well.
Well, that's great, Alicia.
How about we take a moment right now.
Really good.
Really smooth.
Shut it.
Let's talk about Max Fund Drive.
Talk about.
Talk about. Talk about. That's Dave's rap. What's mine that you laugh at all the time? let's talk about talk about talk about
that's Dave's rap
what's mine that you laugh at all the time
you know that it's true
no I think it's don't you know
don't you know and you know that it's true
don't you know
don't you know it's a kiss from
a thing on the top
and you know that it's true
that was
still one of the funniest
things
when you sang I have the
tiger and you thought the opening lyrics
were growing up is hard to do
did I think that?
growing up
is hard to do
growing up
is hard to do is hard to do
is hard to do
you take your snack packs with your glory
you got your
lunchables and your mom's a real bitch
I don't know
no you got them you got them right
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