Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 746 - Stacey McGunnigle

Episode Date: July 5, 2022

Comedian Stacey McGunnigle joins us to talk dream sandwiches, tacos in the park, and tiny planes....

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 746 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who I refuse to let him steal my sunshine, Mr. Dave Shumka. Yeah, I mean, you've been calling me Len a lot and I don't know what it means, but now I realize that it's because of the song Steal My Sunshine. Yeah. I realize that it's because of the song steal my sunshine yeah um I yeah on your advice I watched the first half of that Abercrombie Abercrombie and Fitch documentary yeah just so I could hear the music and it's a lot of fun right oh yeah did you ever own any Abercrombie and Fitch no no they
Starting point is 00:01:02 banned me I tried to go in and they said no, no, no. Because you were standing outside shirtless with jeans on? They said no way are you getting in here. And then I got a cease and desist so I couldn't even order online. There were boys outside in muscle boys shirtless with their
Starting point is 00:01:19 jeans on and you kept going by with like a spray bottle of WD-40. What is WD-40? It's grease. Is it grease? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:35 Our guest today, first time guest here to the podcast. You can see her on the huge long lasting show This Hour is 22 Minutes. You can fire her on Instagram at Stacey McGee. is 22 minutes you can fire it instagram at stacy mcgee it's stacy mcgarthacall everybody is it mcgee or mcgee the stacy mcgee mcgee ah well yes but you know what i love the stacy mcgee oh it's got a nice ring be stacy mcgee be the stacy mcgee
Starting point is 00:02:02 you want to see in the world hi Stacey hi thank you for having me this is like big time oh the biggest yeah it is I mean yeah it's it's yeah it's summertime is you know more than big time I guess it's a big time it's summertime it's a jean time um an abercrombie and finch time did you um how's the weather in toronto is the jeans weather oh it's sticky oh and some of us are still wearing jeans yeah and it's a nice time i'm wearing jeans today regretting it right at this moment but uh should we get to know us? Yeah. Get to know us. Stacy, are you a summer person or are you a fall or what's your favorite? Well, the listeners may not be able to see me, but I might just be the palest person in the world. And so I love a fall.
Starting point is 00:03:01 Yeah. I am the person that is immediately when it's hot out. I'm like, Ooh, this is too much. We've gone too far with this. I'm a fall gal, but I'll,
Starting point is 00:03:11 I'll take a summer, but I'm going to come with sunscreen and a hat and some opinions. What kind of hat are we talking here? I was going to ask what number sunscreen. Yeah. Let's do one. And then the other. Sure.
Starting point is 00:03:21 I listen, I'm happy to unpack both. I'm doing 60 plus. We're not joking around. Okay. And I'm doing a huge sun hat with one of those like strings underneath so when it's windy i zip it up this is not going anywhere don't fall in love when you see me don't fall in love so are you like you ever go to the beach or are you just like, I'm just trying to live my life? I will go to the beach. I am super scared of the sun.
Starting point is 00:03:49 I just got back from Mexico and you can't even tell. Do you know? Like, I'm still pale. Yeah. So I like the beach and stuff, but I'll find a shade. I'll sleep underneath a towel or two. I don't joke around. Yeah, no no fair enough i'm i am
Starting point is 00:04:06 also pale and when i first get out in the sun uh everything like a rash breaks out of my arms so really you have to be so careful yeah i have to i'm 60 plus on the uh sunscreen as well you guys are so uh you deserve each other is this a meet cute? I know. It kind of feels right. Not me. I'm a real sun worshiper. I'm like... Really? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:31 It goes out with that tin thing that you hold under your neck. God, I love that. Gotta get my turkey neck all done up. He wears those little suntan glasses. I'm jealous. When people can luxuriate in the sun, I simply despise them. No, I'm joking. I hate it.
Starting point is 00:04:50 Oh, you hate it. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I like sunny days. Everyone does. Yeah. But, you know, I'm like, me outside is like a dog in a hot car.
Starting point is 00:05:01 It's like, don't make them stay there. Don't leave them too long yeah oh but you're just running into the liquor store i can leave dave out someone breaks the window saves them yeah is there i couldn't possibly be anyone with the last name mcgunnigal who likes the sun no i, I think that's like, yeah. No, absolutely not. Where are you from originally, Stacey McGonagall? Well, I'm from a little town called Alliston, Ontario, and it
Starting point is 00:05:32 is a little potato town. In fact, we have a potato festival. This is great. This is good. Yes. You know, this is where I met my first boyfriend at the Fireman's Dance. Whoa! This is amazing. This is like the beginning of a stephen king story i thought it was like you know a taylor swift song but no i guess you're better
Starting point is 00:05:53 yeah no it did end up with me at the fireman's dance i found drink tickets on the ground um and i bought too many mike's hard lemonades i did end up barfing at the KFC Tim Hortons. Oh, you had a KFC Tim Hortons. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So the fireman's dance was during the potato festival? Yeah, so that's like a culmination. Like when you're like...
Starting point is 00:06:14 It's like a KFC Tim Hortons. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're ready to party. So you go and you dance and, you know, Lone Star plays and you're in your finest denims and you just, you get rip-roaring drunk. Yeah. What's the famous Lone Star song? Amazed.
Starting point is 00:06:32 Oh, baby, I'm amazed by you. Yeah, that's a good one. Yeah, it's nice. Now, was it kind of like those were the two events that the town had and they had them all together and then there were no more events for the rest of the year you know what totally yeah then it was just uh yeah and then it was like all the like you know all the like cool kids would be like pissing off the cops because they were drunk and it's like catch me and the cops are at the fireman's dance and they're
Starting point is 00:07:00 like well boy i'm i'm double duty today yeah or the firemen have to go away like a clear out firemen we're using your hall to dance a hundred percent and they're shooting their sexy fireman calendar next on a big pile of potatoes there was a nice i think i believe i could be wrong but i believe they also did like a sexy or like a little cheeky fireman's calendar yeah they gotta to raise funds i mean they should do a sexy potato farmer's calendar too sexy i would buy that oh yeah it would get really sexy yeah somebody on a pile of potatoes peeling a potato in the sun what time year is the potato fireman dance listen i don't want to get you guys all revved up but it's coming up in august is it only townsfolk allowed or can somebody go to check it out oh people are checking it out i
Starting point is 00:07:52 actually was getting my hair done the other day and someone asked me where i was from and i said you know alliston because no one's really heard of it and a girl that worked at the salon was like i was i was potato number seven at the festival. I was the potato queen in 1997. She was one of the little tater tots, one of the little kids. Now, what is this? Is this a play that you put on or is it a parade? There's a parade, okay? Yes.
Starting point is 00:08:14 The thing about the potato festival parade is it's more religious than you think, okay? Like a lot of churches and then like, you know so so and so's brother or whatever had to be jesus at year and he's walking around being like leave me alone like whatever not the baby jesus yeah not the baby jesus that was played by a potato yeah of course of course there's a big passion play they put him up on a potato cross totally oh yeah people throw potatoes at them well they do have like the um they had like little bb guns where you would like put the gun in the potato oh yeah and shoot little chunks they'd be like knock it off you know yeah that's
Starting point is 00:08:57 fun i my friends had a potato gun when i was a teen and it could break windows pretty easily like it was pretty high powered oh is that when you put the full potato in the gun no you like you put it right through the potato and then you launch it yeah chunks yeah and it would go through i'm not saying that we broke windows but i'm not saying we didn't yeah the only thing that stops a bad guy with a potato gun is a good guy with a potato yeah oh my god um renegades so this sounds like i you were saying stephen king i think this sounds like a hallmark movie where you're a big city lady who has to go back to potato town yeah you're a big city lady that works at lays chips and then yeah yeah you have a high-powered corporate job and you can't find love and then you, you know, get marooned in Alliston, did you say?
Starting point is 00:09:47 Alliston. They find out where I'm from and I reluctantly go back to the tater town. And now I'm like so hot because I took my glasses off and I wear contacts now. Yes. And it's different. Okay. And I meet, oh my God, the guy that kind of made fun of me in high school and we're not having it. Nice, yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:08 Right, maybe? Yeah, no, this is it. Were you wearing glasses when we connected to the Zoom call? I did, but then I was like, these are pinching my head, you know, so then that's, you know. Yeah, the less you see of us, the better. I get it. What is, and we asked, we talked about this last week on the show. What is your number one favorite potato preparation?
Starting point is 00:10:29 Yes. From chips to fries to baked to mash, whatever. My gut instantly said mash. There's really nothing better than a mashed potato. Yeah, we agree. Yeah, like a baked potato, I guess it it's always dry there's never enough sour cream um a mash for me i mean nothing will beat a fry also but there's something about a mash well last week graham and i we both kind of felt a little bit crazy that we landed on mash because
Starting point is 00:11:00 fries are so popular but here's a late entry that i didn't think about until just now latke latke that's a pretty delicious potato it's i mean the the best the best you can get yeah but they're they're yeah they're like inconsistent right yeah and something they can be a little oily like there's something about a mash you can have just butter with salt and pepper you can add a gravy yes um yeah you can throw it on a steak a piece of chicken yeah and if you're obsessed with some sort of close encounter that you've had with an alien ship you can make a little mountain out of it and i mean of course yeah um i saw that movie once i think it was yeah it was worth seeing once yeah yeah yeah just once um the uh what about a mashed potato served with an ice cream scoop turn on or turn off turn on okay now you know what is this cone are we is it like a green onion sort of scenario i didn't say it was
Starting point is 00:11:59 a cone i just said an ice cream no but let's go with this cone idea. Okay. Oh, I thought you meant served in like a cone kind of thing. No, I just. Oh, is that a. Okay. That's what we're doing now. I love those. What is the cone made of? Yeah, now we got to come up with this cone.
Starting point is 00:12:14 Is it a latke? Is it a latke flattened into a waffle? I'm going to say that it's a rosemary, like a savory cone. It's a rosemary. And like for me, I want like a crispy green onion or like um like something with a little flavor yeah i want a gravy cone let's let's let's conify gravy yeah well it would be like the hot fudge right a little hot fudge a little green sprinkles sure okay if if a restaurant did that i would order it and i would yeah well that's what
Starting point is 00:12:46 they do in a lot of these when they're in these photo shoots when they're doing a but if you watch a documentary of behind the scenes of how they do a commercial photo shoot for ice cream it's usually mashed potatoes and it's gravy yeah and the cone is usually some kind of chive the thing about a mashed potato whether it's like powdered or like four days old it's just it's okay it's never not good yeah no yeah it survives very well survives so well and if you're getting it and you want to like spice it up a bit you can just put it in a pan and like spice it up a bit, you can just put it in a pan and like, you know, golden brown the thing. Hello. Yeah. Hello, how are you?
Starting point is 00:13:29 A good thank you, very full. Now, the famously people after, I have a little frog in my throat. Oh. The potatoes have really gotten to you. Yeah, it's really. Famously after like Thanksgiving or Christmas, people will make a sandwich out of Turkey and mashed potatoes or of
Starting point is 00:13:50 course, cranberries, but would, would mashed potatoes go on the sandwich? Yes, of course. Absolutely. Oh really?
Starting point is 00:13:56 Yeah. Yeah. I want it all. I want it all in one bite. Me too. Yeah. And you're, this is the old Graham.
Starting point is 00:14:02 This is, yeah, this is before, but I still will have the sandwich with all the fixings, like stuffing and potato and cranberry. Yeah, stuffing really rules the sandwich. Now, Canada is getting Pret-a-Manger. What is this? We're getting a Pret.
Starting point is 00:14:21 It's a British chain of coffee shops? Yeah, but they do have a good day after Christmas, a Boxing Day sandwich. Watch, it comes over here and they won't make it. Yeah. Wait, they have a Boxing Day sandwich? Yeah, the sandwich we were describing, turkey and... They have that just available. Like, you go in and you're like, hey.
Starting point is 00:14:47 Yeah. Hey, how are you? Hey, how are you hungry thank you yeah um so it's i know it's not the holidays but may i please have a boxing day i reckon you might as well get one of these sandwiches in hogwarts they also make a Halloween sandwich. And the Halloween sandwich. Well, day after Halloween. Day after. Has a bit of candied apple. That sounds amazing.
Starting point is 00:15:13 That sounds amazing. But like one in 500 of these candy apple sandwiches has a razor blade in it. And if you get it. You win. Yeah, you go to Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory. So. And if you get it, you have to get to go. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:24 You go to Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory. So, um, Stacy, what is your dream sandwich now that we're on, now that we're on the food train? What's your go-to? I want to tell you, first of all, there's no better conversation I'd rather have. I had a very serious addiction to Subway sandwiches so much so that like all birthday gifts or like people being like sending gifts was just always a gift card um the subway to subway and and i mean this you know i do love a sandwich conversation when it comes to like a sandwich i'm like i love a cold cut okay maybe
Starting point is 00:15:57 nothing better i literally just had a sandwich from a grocery store today turkey onion bun okay lettuce yeah yeah don't overthink it you know don't we're overthinking the sandwich i think that's why quiznos never took off it simply was too much yeah um did you kick your subway addiction are we still have you had an intervention yet or are you still doing it you know it's still in the veins you, I'll certainly walk by a subway and go and just, it smells like home, you know, that whiff. Wait a minute.
Starting point is 00:16:32 Your hometown had a cookie fried chicken and the subway. It had a KFC. It's him Hortons. Okay. Was the kid. And you, did you, did I hear that right?
Starting point is 00:16:40 The KFC Tim Hortons was one restaurant. It was a Wendy's Tim Hortons, but then I, I did confuse, but I also, I barfed in the tim hortons bathroom not to not to brag and have everyone be too boned up but i barfed big in the tim hortons barf big or go home that's what i said yeah hello it's the potato festival okay and then i thought it's fine my friend said can you get in the car? I said, you know me. And guess what?
Starting point is 00:17:05 I barfed in the KFC parking lot. Okay. I thought you were going to barf in the car. That's where I thought the story was going. Didn't head out the door. Body in the car. Wow. Nice.
Starting point is 00:17:16 Good for you. We did a lot of opportunities in Alliston to barf. It was really cool. Yeah. It's a good place to grow up. What's the barf capital of canada alliston ontario thank you we might not graduate high school but we barf wherever so back to your dream sandwich yes okay so okay if i'm like just going for it this is what i'm gonna do i'm gonna do probably i'm gonna do a
Starting point is 00:17:46 footlong okay i'm gonna do a cold cut and we're doing your what is your dream sandwich is that subway of course okay i know no that's just something like you could pick any bread in the whole world because here's the thing we over complicate it okay yes okay yes fine you've already said this that's why quiz knows didn't work because there was too many toasting options yes and it was overwhelming i'm a simple girl um i think i yeah i think i would do a subway is that crazy no the heart wants what it wants you know that's uh no but what does it say about my heart, you know? That it's in trouble. Well, it doesn't have much time left.
Starting point is 00:18:33 Yeah, you know how they say in relationships, there's like a settler and a reacher, like somewhat, you know? It's like, maybe I'm not reaching high enough in my relationship with sandwiches. Maybe I'm just settling, but I would do it. And Subway's reaching for you. I mean, is it? Subway is reaching for you. I mean, is it? Subway at the corporate offices, they're like,
Starting point is 00:18:50 you know, Stacy's out of our league, but we, we, we've got to go for it. Well, listen, Subway,
Starting point is 00:18:56 if you're listening, like I'm willing to be in a relationship with you. Oh, you're ready to commit? I could commit. I mean, I did take a break because I was hitting the tuna way too much. I was really gone on the tuna sub.
Starting point is 00:19:09 You didn't want to end up like Jeremy Piven on his Broadway show where you ate too much? Mercury poisoning. Yeah, I didn't want to go rush to the hospital and go, I'm Piven, I'm Piven. The press is like the publicist who had to write that press release. He has to bow out of his show because he's eating tuna subs. Well, I want to know what really happened to him where they were like, that's like, that fallout is fine for us. Right. The tuna sub fallout is better than what we're covering.
Starting point is 00:19:49 It was, it was sushi though, right? Yeah. It was eating too much sushi. Yeah. Yeah. It was a sushi sub he was eating.
Starting point is 00:19:55 How much sushi was he eating? That, that happened. Nonstop. If you ate sushi twice a day, which I wouldn't recommend, but if you did it twice a day, every day,
Starting point is 00:20:03 you'd probably end up, if you did any food twice a day any day, you'd be in hot water. What about the incredible edible egg? You're right. Eggs are fine. I think eggs are fine. Yeah. Cereal, you could have that twice a day. Sure. I think you'd be fine. Stacey, have you ever been to New York or New Jersey and enjoyed a Jersey Mike's sub? I have been to New York or New Jersey and enjoyed a Jersey Mike's sub? I have been to New York, not New Jersey, but Jersey Mike's when I was living in L.A. was all over the place. And for some reason I couldn't get myself there. But everyone talked about Jersey Mike's being so freaking good.
Starting point is 00:20:37 Yeah. I went. I went there. Have you been there, Graham? Yeah. Yeah. You like it? Was it so freaking good?
Starting point is 00:20:43 No, I think it's okay. They really overdo it with the lettuce. Like it's way too much lettuce. Yeah. And like, yeah, you don't really get to say the amount. They just kind of shovel it on there. But I want a conversation. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. You've been there, right, Dave? I will. Yeah, I went to the one in Sherman Oaks. I give it four forks. Look at us Cali gals just talking about our Jersey Mike's. It was fine, but it had been talked up too much to me. It didn't live up to my expectations. Where do you guys fall on the Mr. Submarine track?
Starting point is 00:21:21 You know, Mr. Sub is an institution. Yes. It is when you find yourself there in line i don't i wouldn't say i was i was in the best place in my life right obviously yeah and i'm looking around at the people also there and i don't think anyone's you know having the best day of their life at the mistress sub yeah that's true now i traveled this whole world we've mentioned this on the show i've been around the world and i i i can't find my baby um but though i had never been to toronto until i was 30 and wow yeah i've been
Starting point is 00:22:03 through the airport going to destinations around the world yeah that's right there's been around the world and the first time i went to toronto was when we did a live podcast there and so i went with graham and in the taxi ride to our hotel from the airport we went past a mr sub and graham famously said you know, Toronto's a real Mr. Sub town. I think, I think that still stands if I, yeah, I think it's still. But Mr. Sub, yeah, I can, I see what you mean in a sense, but this Mr. Sub, like the bread is, it coughs. It's so dry and the meat's just like just eat it like everyone's just like just it you know yeah now it's not it what do you so you're a subway yes fanatic i'm obsessed and you uh because i here's my thoughts on subway are i love the smell. Yeah. And everyone hates the smell.
Starting point is 00:23:07 People always tell me I'm crazy. They say, Dave, you're crazy. Yeah, but it's like when people say, don't say moist. I hate that word. It's so gross. It's like, okay, Vanessa, well, it's moist. Like, what am I to say? The cake's delicious.
Starting point is 00:23:20 Yeah, it's what I am right now. I'm so moist. I cannot tell a lie. I'm not like drenched, but I'm, you know. I'm getting there. But my problem with Subway is that I love the smell so much and the sandwich doesn't live up to the smell. Well, what's your sub?
Starting point is 00:23:42 What are you getting? Because I'm going to give you a better experience. Okay. Well, there were decades. There was at least a decade where I did not go to Subway. As a young man, I would get turkey on white with whatever. Now, I'm eating clean these days. So I'll go somewhere and get,
Starting point is 00:24:06 get a veggie delight. You're eating clean. So you'll get the veggie delight, the mystery patty. Yeah. No, no, not the mystery patty.
Starting point is 00:24:15 Just no, no protein, just veggies. Or are you vegetarian? Uh, I tried to be, okay. I'm not at all. I try, I, try my i try not to eat uh meat before dinner
Starting point is 00:24:29 and i'm never getting subway for dinner you know i love you like i am never getting subway for dinner that is a guarantee um what do you thinkacey? What do you think about the Subway's refresh? What's your take on the refresh that they're doing? Like where they say like, our bread is now bread. It's not yoga mat stuff. Yeah. That refresh? Yeah, we now have avocado.
Starting point is 00:24:56 Well, listen, we love a spinach introduction. Okay. Anytime I see a little spinach now, does it annoy the Subway artiste when I say spinach? And they just give a few and I go, more. More, yeah. The artiste is always like, agagagaga. He puts it in his pipe. I honestly think, like, I'm here for Subway.
Starting point is 00:25:20 I'm here for the refresh. I'm loving it. Good. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. Nope, wrong. Subway I'm here for the refresh I'm loving I'm loving it good um no I will say nothing hits quite like a sub anytime anyone eats like a classic sandwich the face we all make is just like oh my god this is so good yes you find yeah we're we're listen we all want to eat clean we all want to vow to never have a sub for dinner but sometimes we must and you know it's satiating i'm gonna eat moist how about that that's my new yeah this is my goddamn guarantee when when so you wanted to uh improve
Starting point is 00:25:59 my sub experience i do what what do you recommend well i was vegan for a few years and i was doing this veggie situation that you're doing and it's not substantial enough give yourself the veggie patty if you're gonna do just give yourself something to bite onto i would go to an italian cheese if you're not a vegan man the bread the bread yeah or is that or you, you're talking about like, do I order an Italian urban cheese or am I just, or are we just talking bread right now? I think you get, you get the veggie patty sub with all the fixings, throw in some avocado, be kind to yourself, give yourself some healthy fat. Sure.
Starting point is 00:26:37 We want to add just a little bit of the like sub sauce, some mustard maybe. But is Italian urban cheese a bread? a bread yeah okay and is it not vegan no because it's good if you're not if you're not okay sorry guys i'm yeah okay sorry i might not be clear no i'm i i was like yeah what's not vegan about italian i just got rev to the max that i get to unleash my subway feelings okay do it go you go and then um yeah that's what i would do and i would fill it to the brim of all of your veg and be be clear about your boundaries with your artiste yes okay get yourself some spinach don't just let them sprinkle like jam it yeah sure i will never get the lettuce oh like as a young man i never got any of the, I was like lettuce and tomato.
Starting point is 00:27:28 Now I'm like, ooh, give me those olives. Yes. Give me pickles. Yes, olives, pickles, of course. Get some cubes in there. Delicious. We need some cubes. Yeah, just to cool the whole thing down a bit.
Starting point is 00:27:39 Yeah, because we're getting too hot and heavy, too moist. We're getting too hot and heavy, too moist. I met my wife in college and we went to Subway. I wouldn't call it a date. I think there were like 10 of us who all went to Subway one day. Party Subway. Yeah. I don't know if she fell in love with me at Subway, but that day I ordered two footlongs,
Starting point is 00:28:10 and I ate them, like, so fast. I ate them both. In a row? Yeah. Did you eat them where you were on one end and Abby was on the other, and you ate until you kissed? Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:28:22 I'd love to do that. So romantic. I mean, yeah. oh my god i'd love to do that so romantic i mean yeah what so you say uh be aggressive with your sandwich artist yes what um what like unorthodox stuff do you tell them um i tell them how to live their lives who to dump who to how to you know what they should be doing. You're sort of a cult leader. Yeah. I mean, the thing with me is I have too much. There's too much energy. I bring too much energy, too much conversation.
Starting point is 00:28:56 I'm asking too much and I'm giving too much and I'm over explaining. So I'll say like, can I get more spinach? And they're like, it's just like the lettuce is like weird. And do you mind? Like there's just I'm like, it's just like the lettuce is like weird. And I, do you mind? Like there's just, I'm giving too much of my own life and the biography. Um,
Starting point is 00:29:11 if that makes sense. Yeah. And they never give anything back. They're never like, well, the manager actually told me I need to stop giving so much. No, they're like this frantic woman.
Starting point is 00:29:20 I'm just going to give her her little cold cut combo so we can move on. I'm sure is the energy. Have you gone to the same subway enough where you are familiar with one of the artists? Okay. I will tell you this. Okay. I used to go to this subway when I was young. I was but a young, unbridled 20 something.
Starting point is 00:29:39 And I would go to the same subway on Dundas Street in Toronto. Okay. Every day. Every day. I would go. the same subway on Dundas Street in Toronto. Okay. Every day. Every day. I would go. I was so broke. I was very broke.
Starting point is 00:29:52 So I would have like one huge sub. And that was like my big meal. And you're like broke. And you're like, how did I like survive? Yeah. How was I like living? So I was like, this is my meal. And I went so much. And then one day, the guy that always always served me he had asked for my name
Starting point is 00:30:08 before he's like what's your name you come in here and i was like we're not doing that this is i am sarah mclaughlin building a mystery um the woman of your dreams okay you can't remember when you wake up so but i kept going and like i would pay with like loose dimes and change like so broke just like warm i was like you don't need to count it trust me um and then he he disappeared for two weeks and then a crime stoppers ad came up and it looked like him and my roommates and i all agreed because like i know i'm too much too much but they were like no no this looks like the subway guy and they're like you have to call crime stoppers i said and say what like i go all the time you can trust me i was like i'm absolutely not doing what was his crime i it was like theft around the area or whatever but someone had been calling into crime stoppers
Starting point is 00:31:00 and they like sketched him which i'd never really seen a lot of that around the city but he carried all his lock picking things in a sub yeah this guy's doing he's very generous for the stopping so no one asked any questions he was called the subway bandit and he still didn't call it in it was crazy yeah well graham do you go to the subway in our neighborhood yeah once in a while how often how oh once in a while yeah just when when i'm walking by and i've like in between meals that subway they they like the hours on the door are not with the real hours people they're knocking off early regularly. That's right, yeah. It says they're open until 9,
Starting point is 00:31:47 but you cannot go past 8. No, that's true. The other day I walked by at like 6.30, and they had already like, they were cleaning the floors. They had put chairs up on the tables. Oh, yeah. They'll let you know.
Starting point is 00:32:02 That's what I like about Subway. It's like, really? There was a guy at Pearson was trying to get a sub at six in the morning. And that woman was like, dude, come on. You don't need it now. Yeah. Make me a six egg. Six eggs, please.
Starting point is 00:32:23 Another egg. Thanks. uh six eggs please another egg thanks six inch six eggs yeah that's right yeah of course yeah i'm divorced how'd you know whatever another egg please i don't even have a flight i'm just here at the airport because it said it was open I used to go to one where the same guy was there every time I went and he was a bodybuilder and we'd always chat
Starting point is 00:32:53 about his bodybuilding championships but he was like you know the huge rock looking grease him up kind of style and when he made the sandwiches, they looked like tiny little toy sandwiches in his hands. And then you needed three hands to grab it.
Starting point is 00:33:10 You were like, thank you, sir. What did he get? I want to get what he gets. I want to be swole like him. Yeah, would he ever give you recommendations? Oh, he would just say, get in shape. That was his big recommendation. Yeah, leave me alone.
Starting point is 00:33:24 He just kind of made me feel super bad, actually. I recommend you fuck off. oh he would just say get get in shape that was his big recommendation yeah leave me alone yeah he just kind of made me feel super bad actually i recommend you fuck off i remember when i joined a gym in toronto called extreme fitness do you remember those or if you had you have we have that we have yeah we have no knowledge of gyms but but they made you um like take a personal training session before you could just stop going or whatever you're going to do with your membership. Right. But I remember this guy was like, you should probably stop drinking beer. And I was like, well, that's not happening.
Starting point is 00:33:55 And he told me Steam Whistle is the leanest beer you can have. Oh, okay. And I've kept that fact until recently. Someone was like, no, it's not and i was like oh okay well this lean man was yelling at me at extreme fitness and i took it as fact yeah so well you know what all that to say if the bodybuilder had opinions on subs i might switch it up it's all i'm saying i'm drinking a pilsner right now yeah oh hell yeah and i just i i'm reading the copy on the side of the can and i may never
Starting point is 00:34:26 get this pilsner again why what does it say nose rings and diamond rings coiffed hair and shaved heads tattoos and suits culture and creativity by the way i'm also doing i'm doing a voice it sounds really great yeah it's good's good. Mount Pleasant has it all. And this crowd favorite Pilsner celebrates its iconic, eclectic, linger a little longer style. Linger a little longer. Wow. Wow. Linger a little longer. Linger a little longer.
Starting point is 00:34:57 Why don't you? You know what a Pilsner goes well with? A dinner sub. Oh, really? Okay. Yeah. Just saying. Just saying. What is a dinner sub? really okay yeah just saying just saying what is the dinner sub are we talking about like a roast beef or something like that oh that'd be nice
Starting point is 00:35:10 graham what's your sub you haven't even said mine is just straight up as many veggies as i can fit into the sub as possible i get i get it and no meat no meat do you get the patty no i don't get the patty patty's weird to me yeah i agree it's a weird lentil-y kind of vibe are you vegetarian i am yeah he is so i get for how long over 12 years i think oh a long long yeah a long time okay but like when i was a kid whereas i'm vegetarian from about midnight to 4 p.m but i'm very strict about it but But I mean, unless I'm, unless I'm having leftovers from the last night. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:47 Then, you know, it carries over. For a very short period of time, Subway had Beyond Meat, Meatball Sums. And I lost my mind because that's the one I remember from when I was a kid, Meatball Sum.
Starting point is 00:36:00 Okay. And, uh, it was so good. Yeah. It was. Yeah. And,
Starting point is 00:36:04 uh, it was only on the menu for like two months or something that i vanished but um thanks yeah yeah but i'll just load it up with veggie and then i get a little bit of pizza sauce that's my that's my treat to myself okay that nice yeah a little bit of mustard away you go delish yeah I like this because I can't understand people because I have friends who like, you know, I live to eat. Like I wake up, I'm like, what am I going to eat? Like that's what brings me out of bed. And then I have friends that are like, I forgot to eat lunch.
Starting point is 00:36:34 I'm like, can't relate. So I really, I'm really falling in love with you both because food is. Food's glorious. It keeps me. It keeps me. I know. I know. Joey, I should have said this earlier
Starting point is 00:36:45 we tell first time guests don't fall in love with us yeah we'll only break your heart uh oh too late Dave and I are both we're both married to the sea
Starting point is 00:36:54 we are yeah thruple with the sea thruple with the sea classic comedian man don't fall in love with me honey I'm married to the sea
Starting point is 00:37:03 and my wife. Sure. Marriages. Yeah. Right? Stacy, boy, is this the right time to ask? When are you going to get married? Me?
Starting point is 00:37:15 Oh, I already did. And then I got divorced. Oh, really? Okay. Yeah. Happy to talk about it. Congratulations. I don't want to.
Starting point is 00:37:24 Thank you. Oh, he doesn't want to thank you oh he doesn't want to it's upset i've upset dave um i'm not upset i'm not upset when sorry when you got divorced did you have a party was there a post-divorce shindig because i always thought those would be a lot of fun yeah i i you know what i was really lucky in that it was like a really you know i know people were like it was mutual but it really was and we were able to like go together and be like tell the court together being like we we want to end this and they were like okay um were they drunk was the
Starting point is 00:37:57 court drunk well the guy did look at me and my ex and was like are you you sure you guys want to end this and we were like very much so yes thank you so much for checking in and i was like imagine we changed our minds um you had the last like no no yeah let's stay married and then come back the next day like no we fucked up yeah we did want to get this time double or nothing we're gonna get married again yeah is that old sea captain back that asked the question in the first place? I didn't really have a big, I didn't have a divorce party. That would have been a great idea.
Starting point is 00:38:30 I've just heard about them. Really? Yeah. Cause sometimes a group of it's typically women will come to a comedy show and they're either a party, but a lot of times when it's like a group of mid thirties women, it's a divorce party and they're just, they're just whooping it up. Yeah're like i'm free yeah yeah exactly i'm young again yeah totally that was me how old were you when you got married i was um, oh my God. I think I was 28, 29.
Starting point is 00:39:07 Just a baby. I was really a baby. I'm 36 now. Still a baby. Thank you. You're just a baby. Just a baby. Don't fall in love.
Starting point is 00:39:18 That's all I'll say. No, I keep saying it. Not catching on. Don't fall in love with babies very much. But yeah, I was like like pretty i was really young and i just uh it's kind of crazy to think about it feels like a different time yeah yeah i mean that's i'm at the phase now where i think everybody i know that i'm gonna know is married until a new generation of yeah people grow up i was i was like oh i guess where i'm not getting
Starting point is 00:39:44 invited to weddings anymore. Yeah. Oh, it's like done, you feel like. You've gone through all the, everyone's all coupled up. Yeah, and I feel like I don't know. Or dead. Yeah, absolutely. Some dead beats. Dead beats.
Starting point is 00:40:00 Yeah, of course, of course. But, yeah, I think, like, my brothers are married, uh my parents are still married so i'm not gonna see them wed again sure yeah yeah well maybe a divorce party your mom's like do you have any comedy shows you can recommend um i'm gonna whoop it up me and sharon are gonna whoop it up other friend is, she doesn't care for your comedy. It is so weird, though, when like, yeah, a different show. That sounds like my parents.
Starting point is 00:40:32 They're like, is anyone else with a writer perspective? We've seen your thing. Yeah, we created your thing. We're okay. Yeah. Yeah, well, yeah, you were just a wee pup when you got i was just a wee i was a wee pup and then how long were you married i was married three years okay yeah that's a good enough time to know whether it's good or not you know how long were you together before you were married eight years whoa an 11 year total no no no no all together
Starting point is 00:41:07 all together all wrapped in a bow okay yeah five five and three five and three yeah yeah okay i know it's kind of it was crazy wow yeah and then all my friends ended up getting married after me um and then now they're all having babies every single goddamn one of them yeah and i'm gross yeah i do laugh at it sometimes because when i show up i feel like um they think i'm like a little like party gal or something you know what i mean like i'm just like wild and out you know you're david spade in the grown-ups films yeah i'm bringing a spade like energy I'm just like coming in being like whatever yeah yeah I for quite a while if I had a friend that had a kid and then I went out with that friend for an evening they wanted to go so hard uh at like
Starting point is 00:42:01 and go from bar to bar and I was like this is not, I don't do this. I do this as few times as you do this. Well, that's it. It's like, I hate to burst the bubble here, but a peppermint tea would be real nice right now. My tummy's been strange. Yeah. You ever like, social media connects you with friends
Starting point is 00:42:24 you haven't seen in a while you check in with them and you're like oh so we're now at the age where you go on like a nice cycling trip yeah oh yeah yeah yeah that's it yeah yeah people having like i think the worst is when you're hung over and then you're on instagram and everyone's just having a nice soft life and you're like, what the fuck am I doing? But you can be hungover and have a soft life. No, but you know when you're like hungover and then you see your friends just up with their baby being like, look at them eating an orange.
Starting point is 00:42:57 And you're like, it's 6.30 in the morning. And you're like, I'm, you know. I don't even have an orange. I'm a gargoyle. I still got the taste of Subway in my mouth from last night. My exclusive dinner sub. But you can be hungover and your baby wakes you up at six in the morning. No, I know.
Starting point is 00:43:12 But that's, I know. But you know what I mean? Like when you're like. They're just not showing themselves at that. Yeah. I promise me, your friends are all hungover. They better be. They're listening to this.
Starting point is 00:43:24 Please message me and tell me how hung over you are yeah and then you yeah i'll i'll commiserate with you i'll be your single friend uh thank you appreciate it um dave what's going on with you man what's going with me well we caught up with everything going on with stacy subway subway she comes from potato town yes divorced a divorcee is what they would say exactly i'm i've i'm finally matching my voice when you were going to when the guy asked you your name yes what did you think he did he think you were coming to subway because he liked you because because you liked him no i didn't i he was not even i knew there was not even an inkling of him hitting on me i just was like i can't be a regular here i can't open the door
Starting point is 00:44:10 they go stacy cold cut footlong jalapeno chips i can't have that you got chips with it every time jalapeno chips and here a chocolate milk what are they miss vicky a chocolate milk a chocolate milk now that yeah chocolate milk sure yeah well yeah yeah yeah you gotta of course they say to drink it after a workout which eating a sub sort of is it's very heavy especially if built by a bodybuilder do you ever crunch put the chips in the sandwich no i like to have them like a little decadent little treat on the side. A little, you know? I have a friend who puts chips on a sandwich. A little crunch factor.
Starting point is 00:44:51 I would do it, and I can't believe I've never thought of it until right now. I would try that at the Subway. Get some classic lace, throw them on top of the Sub. Because you need a crunch. Yes. You're getting a lot with the veg, but a little salty crunch? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just an extra, like one that makes a sound, you know? Oh, yeah. That're getting a lot with the veg, but a little salty crunch? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just an extra, like one that makes a sound, you know?
Starting point is 00:45:07 Oh, yeah. That's what I'm after. Oh, yeah. Here's what's going on with me is the past guest, Chris Locke, was in town last week. What a treasure. And he had sent Graham and I messages to meet up with him for lunch one day. And Graham said, sure. and i messages to meet up with him for lunch one day and graham said sure and then the day came and graham was like oh no no i can't do that yeah i had to work i forgot i had to work oh you wanted
Starting point is 00:45:34 love oh you want a taco daytime taco no no no daytime time oh no no no no um and he and so uh it he was he wrote us messages saying like, Hey, uh, Aaron Reed wants to come. Should we, can he come with us? And we're like, I'm like, yeah, of course. Why invite whoever you want? I don't care. He's like, Adam Christie wants to come.
Starting point is 00:45:55 Of course. Christie. He was in town. And, uh, and then, uh, I don't, I think I can say this. He posted it on social media. Adam, Adam got COVID. say this. He posted it on social media. Adam got COVID. Oh, shit. Second time.
Starting point is 00:46:08 Yeah. Aaron just backed out because I think he committed at night and it was daytime tacos. So Graham backed out. Aaron backed out. I went to meet Chris and he was on the phone talking to his wife saying uh should i get tested because he had just heard adam had covid uh adam who he had seen three days earlier but it was basically i had a date with chris Yeah, yeah. A little sit down. And the whole time Chris talked about how he thinks he has COVID. I don't know, man.
Starting point is 00:46:49 Should we go? Should we still go to a restaurant? Well, why don't we get tacos and eat them outside? Yeah, we'll eat them on a bench somewhere. Yeah. Is that what you all did? Yeah, that's what we did. Just the two of us.
Starting point is 00:47:03 Nice. That's cute. I will say, if someone says, do you want tacos? I instantly think night. A day taco. Wow. Okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:13 Did you have three tacos? Yeah, did you? Well, this place we went to, it's called Choncho, which I think means pig. Okay. Good name. And they have, you order by the pound. And so they said, oh, two of you maybe get half a pound of tacos. Half a pound of tacos?
Starting point is 00:47:33 And so you can choose. This was a day where I had meat in the daytime. You can choose vegetarian or pork. And we had both. You can choose vegetarian or pork. And we had both. And so then they give you like a bunch of, you know, tortillas, corn tortillas and a bunch of filling. And then like eight containers full of pickled cabbage and hot sauce. Oh, yeah. But no napkins. They give you no you no nap no fork to put anything on
Starting point is 00:48:09 what do you gotta do shovel it it was shoveling a lot of using the containers as utensils yeah i find it and i think it's probably an unpopular opinion but i do find tacos to be a lot of work i do too like i love them i do too but like hard shell or soft shell hard shell especially holy cow that's a mission oh yeah yeah the moment when i saw that taco bell which we don't even have here uh but just in the commercials that you they wrap a hard shell in a soft shell i thought i was like give them the nobel prize yeah that's so smart they're messy it's i feel like do you feel like you and chris have elevated your friendship now because it's like if it's like eating wings together no he's weird no he's too weird yeah it takes it to another level the mess um we. We had, so yeah, no, it was messy.
Starting point is 00:49:10 And also the whole time, like, we don't want to share food because he thinks he has COVID. He has COVID. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And like, I haven't, he was like, I'm Chris. He's going to be so mad at this impression. So what? He gave me COVID. Did you get COVID? No.
Starting point is 00:49:27 Not that I know of. Okay. But I don't think he did either. He also tested himself multiple times after that. He's good. Yeah. Abundance of caution. He's fine.
Starting point is 00:49:39 I can take him or leave him. So mean. So mean. What the hell, man? That's him. that's a good chris yeah and he uh so uh but no it didn't bring us closer together yeah uh but i really was eating those pork tacos so fast and he was like you already ate those it was it was my first date with abby over again. You ate two full lungs? Bro, what the hell? It's not the night.
Starting point is 00:50:08 It's not even a big deal. It's not even the night. Tonkos are a nighttime food, bro. And then we walked over. I had heard about this new park downtown in Vancouver. Ooh. Have you heard about the new downtown park, Graham? No. Oh, wait a minute. Where is it? this new park downtown in Vancouver. Ooh. Have you heard about the new downtown park, Graham?
Starting point is 00:50:25 No. Oh, wait a minute. Where is it? It's on Richards and Smythe, and it has like walkways, like kind of, I imagined it like kind of like the High Line in New York, except that it's half a city block. Whoa. But it's elevated?
Starting point is 00:50:44 It's elevated. Yeah, there's these walkways where you go and you can kind of there's one area that has like a net uh okay kind of like um not a net funicello uh but like wow okay kind of like a playground net that hangs over the sidewalk so you can like look down at people walking underneath the park that's cute oh cool um so chris laid down on that and i took his picture did he ask you to take his picture he really enjoyed it i don't know if he asked but i don't remember every detail but then we went and then there's like a coffee shop embedded into it. And then you walk over and there's like a kids, there's a fountain.
Starting point is 00:51:30 And then there's like a kids playground area, which is very downtown ish. Like it's just, it's vertical. It's there's towers that you climb up and slide down. Wow. That is cool. It was really cool.
Starting point is 00:51:42 And I was really looking forward to it. And I was like, this is great. I'm going to bring my kids here this weekend And so The next day I brought my 7 year old Margo And
Starting point is 00:51:52 She took one look and was like I'm not doing that Oh you're like no please It's going to be cool I drove you downtown for this we had to find parking That's going to be cool. I drove you downtown for this. We had to find parking. That's going to be so heartbreaking. Like I don't like, I don't obviously,
Starting point is 00:52:08 you know, I don't have kids. I'm crying when I'm hungover about it, but, um, but when my nephew doesn't think something's cool or doesn't want to do something, I'm surprised at how just earth shatteringly heartbreaking it is when I'm
Starting point is 00:52:18 like, no, but this took forever to get you here. Please. No, I got used to it. This is so cool. Please. No, I got used to it. I thought this was so cool. Yeah, please do this for me.
Starting point is 00:52:27 I thought it was cool from an outsider who would never do any of this stuff. Look, I'm 41 years old. I'm not climbing an urban tower. But, you know, I've known her long enough that I was not surprised. She really only likes swings when it comes to playground swings is it she does sound like me i remember i had to my parents forced me to walk i was like oh gosh i was over it like my dad was like do you want to go to disneyland and i went oh the lines i was over it as a kid I was like dad please so we went and
Starting point is 00:53:08 then she was like no not for me and I was like okay let's go to the car wash oh yeah disco car wash no the one well I guess kind of we call it the monster car wash
Starting point is 00:53:24 because it's like monsters attacking your car from every side it's the one, well, I guess kind of the, we call it the monster car wash. Cause it's like a monsters attacking your car from every side. That's cool. Uh, it's the one where it drags you along. Oh yeah. That's the best. Yeah. Too much. As I've mentioned before, too much responsibility on me not to put the car in gear.
Starting point is 00:53:42 Just imagine how you could totally ruin the whole thing just by slamming on the brakes oh god break the entire machine and then the next day i brought my five-year-old she had a birthday party the first day so i brought her the next day and she loved this park nice that's great one out of two kids that's not bad she did like that she went down a slide and she then came up to me afterwards and said hey i made a new friend in the slide oh my god like that's great that's so pure the slide is like two like i don't know 25 feet high so and it's completely covered so you can't see the top of the slide from the bottom of the slide and the whole time there were parents just telling their kids like pulling their kids back kids love climbing up a slide yes it's the best and but like this is one where kids get quite a bit of
Starting point is 00:54:35 velocity from the top and you cannot see them coming but still the danger of it. When I was a kid, the sled, or sorry, the what is it called? The slide. It's like a sled. The slide that we had, we loved climbing up as well, but it was just like a tin slide, so in the summer it would be like a baking sheet.
Starting point is 00:54:59 You would burn yourself continuously going up and going down. We didn't have the the luxury of plastic you don't think about how the tin man must have done in the summer yeah same with the scarecrow all those dry you know fire season just complaining and he's like oh i like it better in the winter when i can be moist yeah stop it i don't want to go to Oz. I'm hot. I'm reheating. I can't help you. We're going to walk there? No thanks.
Starting point is 00:55:28 Through the fields. The lines. Oh, those munchies. The lines. My God. That is something that just saying that. How come there wasn't a line at Oz? Because everybody knew Oz and knew that he was the guy who gets stuff done.
Starting point is 00:55:42 Why did they just breeze in? Why was nobody else? Did they all know he was a, spoiler alert, a phony? Maybe everybody in Oz knew except that these four. Really? Did they? I don't know. I have no idea.
Starting point is 00:55:55 I've never read the book, and I refuse to. No, I'm not going to either. Oh, I've read the books. All of them. Oh, you have? The whole set by L. Frank Baum. Ooh, Elphaba. Is that where that comes from?
Starting point is 00:56:07 How interesting. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the stage. The Wickedly Tales of Jabba Zabba the Doodly. This Pilsner's going hard. Anyway, so also there was another thing during like at the peak of the pandemic when they tried to make playgrounds like they tried to put arrows on the ground with playgrounds of which way ridiculous allowed to go yeah the kids kids do not want to just go down a slide they want to climb back up with their slippery ass shoes um in vancouver i don't know what it's like in toronto you have
Starting point is 00:56:46 do you have like uh parks mr sub country it's mr sub country yeah you're sitting there with your sub in the park yes of course is there like a kind of a water thing like where kids are jumping in and out of streams and stuff like that so there's a really cute park near my place that's like a splash pad and a really great little parquet thing where all the kitties jump in and during the pandemic there would be grown adults with their children in the shallow splash pad right with a floaty and i just thought it was unhinged that this parent was doing this i couldn't believe it. Now you say that this was during the pandemic. Of course, the pandemic is still on.
Starting point is 00:57:28 Adam Christie gets COVID every week. Adam Christie loves COVID, can't get enough of COVID. I got COVID and then Christie, like two weeks later, got COVID, both at work, stressful. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Bonded, it's still happening. But when it was really happening uh as well yeah uh adults no kidding it's still i very much wear my mask happy to do it love it
Starting point is 00:57:53 um can't wait for the next booster please my god um but yeah the there but they seem to have abandoned the boosters oh yeah they haven't we gotten quiet about the boosties? Yeah. I wouldn't mind a couple of noises about the boost. Yeah. Give me a few boosts. Yeah. Maybe I go to the pharmacy and ask if they have boost and then they direct me to that drink for all people.
Starting point is 00:58:16 Well, we only have Ensure. Which we can't with the boosties by that. Yeah. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. that anyway what's going on with you graham oh man nothing holy shit should have come for tacos i was racking my brains today um and the only thing that i did i talked about last week i week. I went to Victoria, BC. How long were you there? A day. Oh, yeah. I just went there one day, flew back the next.
Starting point is 00:58:51 Yeah. And I don't do this often. I don't think I've ever done it to Victoria, but I kind of saw how much it costs and how much time it would be to drive to the ferry and then drive on the other side and have two people going. And it's, it was just like, you know what?
Starting point is 00:59:10 I'm going to fly. So I went and bought myself a ticket, which I think was probably only like $40 more expensive than doing the, the whole half day ferry ride. Was to take your car. Yes. Yeah. And drive on.
Starting point is 00:59:24 Okay. Yeah. And so i was uh i like you know how sometimes you're just sitting around you completely lose concept of time and then you see a clock and you're like holy shit like i don't know how that hour passed or that you know no time has passed at all um so i was sitting at home goofing around on the computer. I'm having fun. I'm looking at Twitter. I'm reading articles that I find on Twitter.
Starting point is 00:59:51 Oh, you have the time to read them. I'm a headline guy. So anyways, the time had passed significantly. And I was like, holy shit, I'm going to be late. So busted down there as fast as I could and had to call. I called them and said, I'm on my way. Like, don't fly away with me. I'll be there right on time to fly.
Starting point is 01:00:15 And they were not impressed that I was calling. They thought that was. Was this Harbor Air? This is Harbor Air. Wow. From Danger Bay. Yes. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:24 They float plane. I believe their whole fleet is electric Air. Wow. From Danger Bay. Yes. Yeah. They float plane. I believe their whole fleet is electric at this point. Oh, wow. Oh. It's electric. Yeah. And so I get there and they see me coming. They know when I walk through the door that I'm the guy who called and is screwed up.
Starting point is 01:00:42 They know it. I got so much attitude from the lady at the counter. And then I was also feeling a vibe in the room that everybody in the room was hating me. How late were you? I was on time, but they say you should be there half an hour ahead. And I was there five minutes ahead. Oh, okay. So you were 25 minutes late.
Starting point is 01:01:01 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But you got on no problem. I got on, but you, I was the whole time. I could feel this vibe. Like everybody on this plane hates me the whole time. How long is the flight?
Starting point is 01:01:10 Oh, I think half an hour. Oh my. It's enough to read a Twitter article. You know? Yeah. Wow. You're going up and coming down at the same time.
Starting point is 01:01:18 Yeah. Isn't it amazing that you can look at your phone in the sky? It is crazy. It's amazing. But here's the thing on those planes they show you a little video that says this is the safety procedures i was looking around the plane i was like if it landed on the water and was starting to sink all of us would die there's nobody that would be able to get the no get there because we're all wedged in so nobody'd be able to open
Starting point is 01:01:43 any door we'd all just sink down to the bottom of the sea. And then you don't have a device to smash the windows? I mean, probably, if I searched. I mean, anything could be a tool when you're about to drown. When you're drowning? Yeah. Wow, that's a really great survival tip. Anything's a tool when you're about to drown, you know?
Starting point is 01:02:01 Yeah. Frankly, you're a bit of a tool. Look around. Are you drowning? Everything's a tool look around are you drowning everything's a tool but the window the windows seem like not so smashable i don't think they're smashable and i think would you smash them smash your past um yeah so uh and the other thing is is like you get on a plane for uh air canada their whole thing
Starting point is 01:02:29 is just like show a video and very much on the the harbor air it's like don't smoke here we go oh sure i've been on their planes before where they hold up an ipad yes that's what they did on this they had my god so this is like a 10 person flight or something like that. This is something like that. Yeah. I've been on the tiny ones and if I can avoid it, never again in my life. They always sound so scary. I've never done it, but everyone always doesn't have a good time.
Starting point is 01:02:57 Have you been out to this part of the world, Stacey? Have I been to Vancouver? That's what I'm asking. Oh, I have, but I haven't spent much time there. I'm very, very new. That's fine. Look,couver that's what i'm asking oh um i have but i haven't spent much time there i'm very uh that's fine that's fine look look that's fine no it sounds beautiful it sounds wonderful lovely people live there but i haven't yeah people live there that's right yeah lovely people live here um it's always it sounds beautiful that's basically your yeah that's it's lush it's green it's gorge everyone's very chill yeah um moist very it is moist actually it is pretty moist yes you know um yeah have you never
Starting point is 01:03:35 you've never been on a float plane either no no i have not you come up this way we're gonna do it let's all get on a plane we'll get chris lock and adam christie no one get tested let's just see how it goes tacos after in the day inflate tacos we can get we can get tacos get on the plane yeah you know it's crazy because I just flew WestJet to Mexico and I don't know what WestJet's doing, but they're reenacting the safety. There's no videos. There's no iPad holding. When you say they're reenacting, are they like scared when the plane goes down? I wouldn't mind a little dram I wouldn't mind a little dramatic from my site attendance, you know, like a little like, oh, something's coming.
Starting point is 01:04:30 And then they dangle the oxygen mask, like a little like. That's fun. That's fun. WestJet has always been the funny one. WestJet, they have a little shtick. Yes. And they, I mean, they might've recognized you and they were like maybe playing it up being like oh maybe this is my chance to get on 22 minutes yeah yeah me watching the wedding
Starting point is 01:04:51 singer with my iphone um on the flight they were like wow big news over here there's a big there's a couple big plane scenes in that movie they know it well oh yeah and here's the thing i watched a tiktok video that gave me a little hack where you take the vomit bag and you put it in between your phone and the case and then you can hang it and watch it. No, I'm using it. I need it. And I looked around thinking everyone's going to be, their minds are going to be blown with how cool this is.
Starting point is 01:05:20 And everyone looked quite sad at me doing that. Oh, like they're like, oh, she travels so much alone that she's figured out a way life hack for herself wow she's not even gonna get sick on this flight yeah she's so confident she doesn't need to barf in this bag oh my god yeah uh i know a guy that when west jet first started did stand-up comedy on a flight between vancouver and calvary that that was their thing like they were right out of the gate so like we're the silly airline we have fun here and they had a yeah stand up can you imagine into the thing into the like uh the radio thing there wasn't a mic or anything just so who's from out of town I mean well I mean I guess
Starting point is 01:06:06 many of you I mean we're in the air right now so we're above like I don't know Kelowna who's okay
Starting point is 01:06:11 my wife's pissing me off can I get a hallelujah in the back yeah anybody celebrating anything on this flight from Vancouver
Starting point is 01:06:21 to Calgary how do you guys know each other in 2A 2B how do you guys know each other you don't you 2B? How do you guys know each other? You don't? You just bought tickets next week? Oh, God.
Starting point is 01:06:31 Possible crowd work. Yeah, they have to give the comedian a seat. Yeah. Because he doesn't get one of those jump seats like the flight attendant. Or maybe because he's a stand-up comedian, they didn't give him a seat and he was still like, this is fine.
Starting point is 01:06:50 I'll just hold on to nothing would you would you take the gig would you take the gig if they offered it to you what would be what would be the price i don't think i'd think i'd think it would be so novel that i would do it but i would have done it i would have done it like 15 years ago i wouldn't do it now but i can see a young yeah you do it for the story absolutely you should do it as a bring your own venue for the french just get on a little porter flight but then you have to set the you have to set it on a plane it has to be all maybe i'm doing one man snakes on a plane yeah i've been doing come from away one man the first pilot ever to fly i would see that i would see that show absolutely yeah i mean come on we've all been so starved for
Starting point is 01:07:36 entertainment these last few years yeah we want to get out into it it's true did i i saw you did a two two-person show during the fringe festival in toronto it was very funny i did oh thanks i mean coming from you i mean you're like a superstar dare i say i mean everybody everybody says it everybody says i'm a superstar you really are a darling i believe i hear that you're a darling of the fringe yeah i do um i do a lot of shots of me like on the phone with my legs kicking back in the air but it is kind of interesting to be a new person because i've only done it twice and i did with my friend jason and um it's such a wild experience being like new and no one really knows you know like because everyone knows everyone they're like they're the darlings you know and they're
Starting point is 01:08:23 they're the darlings and you're the ghouls you're the goblins you're like, they're the darlings. And they're the darlings. And you're the ghouls. You're the goblins. You're the trolls. Get under the bridge. We've all been the goblin at one point. The goblin, the ghoul, I guess. The ghoul, yeah, exactly. Some days you're a darling.
Starting point is 01:08:42 Next day, you're a ghoul. One day, yeah. One day you're the subway. And then you're the Mr. Sub you're a girl you're a ghoul one day yeah one day you're the subway and then you're the mr sub you know what i mean i get it i just don't want to be the quiznos you exactly it's too complicated they know yeah the next time somebody asks me how i'm doing i'm gonna say hey man there's subway days and mr sub days but we uh we don't name we don't give our episodes titles, but if we did, it would be Simplify That's Up with Stacey McGonigal. Oh my God. Can I have that for my memoir?
Starting point is 01:09:12 Yeah. Thank you. Do you guys want to move on to some overheard? Please. All right. Hi, I'm looking for a movie. Oh, I got you. There's that new foreign film with the time travel
Starting point is 01:09:27 There's an amazing documentary about queer history on streaming Have I told you about this classic where giant robots fight? Or there's that one that most critics hated But I thought it was actually pretty good Ooh, I know The one with the huge car chase And then there's that scene where The car jumps over the submarine
Starting point is 01:09:43 Wow, who are you Eclectic movie experts. Well, I'm Evie Wadiwe. I'm Drea Clark. And I'm Alonzo Duraldi. And together we host the movie podcast Maximum Film. New episodes every week on MaximumFun.org. And you actually just walked into our recording booth. Oh, weird.
Starting point is 01:09:59 Sorry. I thought this was a video store. You seem like a lady with a lot of problems. Carrie, is it? Oh, yes. Hi, I'm Carrie. I am Psychic Ross, and I will be reading you this evening. Oh, interesting.
Starting point is 01:10:14 Well, okay. I co-host a podcast. It's called Ono, Ross, and Carrie. Yes, I'm sensing that. The spirits are telling me. It is a show about poodles. Well, it's about like fringe science and spirituality and claims of the paranormal oh you knew that you do research online you but more importantly like we do in-person
Starting point is 01:10:31 investigations investigate as well oh my god that's amazing see me and my friend this is so weird my friend ross same name as you weird he and i just go and try them all out and actually we've gone to a number of psychics and to be honest honest with you, it's a lot like this. It's called Ono, Ross, and Carrie. They can find it at MaximumFun.org. I could have told you that. Overheard. Overheard's a segment of the show.
Starting point is 01:10:59 It's not the whole show. It's not half the show. Just a segment, like an orange, a segment of an orange, where we discuss and appreciate things that we've overheard or overseen and we talk about a segment of an orange so i'm sorry to cut you off no no yes go ahead oh it's fruit so good this time of year it's nice we've been really getting a lot of pineapple oh yeah i ate an orange so fucking juicy the other day i had to do it it over at the sink, first of all. Oh, there's nothing better than fruit over the sink.
Starting point is 01:11:27 Yeah. Oh, like a mango? Oh, marry me, you know? Only for three years, and then it's done. But marry me. But what a wild ride. Yeah, eight years together, but the mango and I had to end amicably. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:11:44 Well, you both knew it was time we felt it we felt it um but yeah this is overheard we always like to start with the guests stacy will you please okay so do i paint the picture i or do i just absolutely okay so i was in the picture okay let me paint the picture. I look at Dave's like, what? It's fine. I don't have a canvas, Stacey. Jesus Christ. Um, I was in Mexico and there was a big pool and, um, it had been pretty quiet until there was a wedding and then everyone was making friends in the pool,
Starting point is 01:12:19 except for me and my lover, they, no one was talking to us. And so we were having a little beer in the pool and someone swims by except for me and my lover. No one was talking to us. And so we were having a little beer in the pool and someone swims by and it's this man and he's very burnt. And a bald man breezes past me and goes, Cleve, your wife told me to tell you to wake the fuck up. And there was a very drunk, sleepy man in a cabana and he was like i'm up classic cleave classic cleave and his friend was this like very boisterous like woman from
Starting point is 01:13:01 missouri who kept referring to herself as an old whore. And they kept calling her that. And he kept going, she's straight from the home. We found her straight. She just escaped from the home. Cleef. How old were these people?
Starting point is 01:13:18 They were like maybe 50, 60. And she was like, I don't know much. I'm just an old whore from Missouri. These people sound like the greatest time in the world yeah but then they had already made friends so then i was like are they trying to are we getting indoctrinated like is cleef and this old whore from missouri gonna be our friends they quickly moved on but yeah i've never made a single friend on vacation much less like for like a day i i don't give off the energy um they i think they could tell but yeah cleef did wake the fuck up so get cleef cleef what's cleef short for that was my question
Starting point is 01:14:03 cleveland and i think cleef can only be said in a Southern accent. Can you imagine being like, Cleef? My dad Cleef? Like, no. Yeah, they'd be like, you're mispronouncing Cliff. Yeah. So at the time of this recording, I mean, at the time this episode is out,
Starting point is 01:14:20 this episode is coming out July 4th. Yeehaw. We have got a new puppy. I've not talked about this on the show. Okay. Here's a name suggestion. Cleef. Yeah, Cleef is good.
Starting point is 01:14:39 What kind of puppy? It's a girl. What kind of puppy? It's a Staffordshire Terrier, which is like a mini pit bull. Cute. Then Cleef is great. That's a good name. Cleef would be good.
Starting point is 01:14:54 It's a good name. Boy, now I'm just thinking of pit bull, but mini, the rapper. Yes, tiny little pit bull. He's pretty tiny in real life, so it would be a really tiny little guy. But just think about what you get to yell at the park. Because I have two dogs. One's named Vic, and one name is Burger. And when you yell Burger in the park...
Starting point is 01:15:12 Everybody's happy. Everyone's having a good time. We have another dog. The dog is named Monster. Whoa, damn, that's a great name. The boy is Monster. The girl... I want it to be...
Starting point is 01:15:23 I think it would be funny if it was like monster and just like rebecca yes that's pretty good yeah i love that so the kids want it to be goblin i think the listeners will once hearing that the listeners will love that yeah that's true but monster and goblin it's too i want to be corncob i'm thinking it's gonna be corncob corncob's good. Corn Cob's good. I really like Cleef. The more I hear it, the more I'm like, yes, Cleef. Because now you can walk by her in the morning and go, Cleef, wake the fuck up.
Starting point is 01:15:53 That's true. That's never been a problem with dogs. They always seem to wake up before I do. You're moving right now. Yes. Thank you for recording with us on a moving day are you moving so the um do you so you're moving and we're recording this on the 14th of june yes uh when is your move-in day today you can move in the middle of the month so it's i mean this is
Starting point is 01:16:21 it was a really random find as i feel apartments are these days where it was like a friend's apartment like above her and the landlord was very cool. And so I've been given the month to move in and it worked out. Yeah. So I just kind of picked, this is when the movers could come with the big things. So I've been slowly moving in. Okay. Two dogs is not a problem to move? No.
Starting point is 01:16:46 Or is it hard to find a place? They're old men. I have a little bulldog named, like I said, Burger. And Vic is just a little tiny basset hound mix. So they're like little kind of guys. A lot of skin there. A lot of skin going on. There's a lot of drool.
Starting point is 01:17:00 There's a lot of droops. Lots of droops. A lot of droops. So they're like 14 and 11 so they're just kind of like whatever yeah they're already in bed and i'm loving it yeah they're you know cool little boys dave do you have an overheard oh shit um yeah i thought we were just talking about dogs um i will forever. I mean, they're so great. No, not now. It's time for me to shine.
Starting point is 01:17:32 That's right. Dave just wanted to shine. I truly am. Now I'm like, I haven't overheard, but let me just go through my phone and see if there's anything better. Somebody's texted you a better one. Come on. Come on, text. Sometimes I'll just take screen caps of things. That's, you know,
Starting point is 01:17:53 well accepted. Oh, I took a screen cap of this headline, Naomi Watts reveals she wasn't prepared for early menopause. What could I possibly have thought was funny about that? Naomi Watts. Robert De Niro admits he might be a Swifty.
Starting point is 01:18:11 The actor poorly confessed. I am not not a fan. Oh my god. Being very guarded about the whole thing. He's scared to be vulnerable. IKEA Norway offers help with baby names after COVID-19 boom. These are good.
Starting point is 01:18:31 Let's see. What else is going on? Why rapper Macklemore says creating his golf apparel brand is a lot like making music. Oh, my God. Dave, these are all great. music oh my god these dave these are all great um okay let's get to the real one here we go did i talk about um wait one more headline brad pitt claims angelina jolie intentionally sought to inflict harm on him by selling part of their wine company to a quote unquote stranger. Oh, shit.
Starting point is 01:19:07 It's relatable. It happened to a buddy of mine. Okay. Here's my real overheard. I was at that park, the great park at Nelson and, did I say Nelson? Richards and Smythe downtown. And it's always strange when you hear a little child who refers to their parent as mother oh yes and there were some pigeons in the park and a little boy
Starting point is 01:19:35 maybe a 10 year old boy said mother pigeon pigeon they're adorable was he british he wasn't yeah he might have been british i hope see now that you said that mother thing i was thinking of a movie horror movie that i saw called the boy and have you seen it no it just sounds spooky it's about a woman who goes to like take care of a kid uh and the house while her parents are away. But the kid is a doll named Brahms. Brahms? Yeah. Like the guy who wrote Lullaby?
Starting point is 01:20:17 Yeah. Spooky. It is spooky. It's spooky as all hell but you you i you had a joke about listening to cbc while working in the day and he would play brahms lullaby yeah it's like hey come on man there's people that listen to this they're trying to stay awake um so yeah i heard that kid say that thing and now it's your turn graham my turn is uh this i had to dig to go back in the files but uh this was when i was on salt spring island and i was on a patio patio season hadn't started yet but it was was this a restaurant patio it's a restaurant patio
Starting point is 01:21:05 yeah how many restaurants on salt spring island oh i'd say there's probably a dozen yeah um because i'm i go to gabriola island there's maybe well do they have food trucks because salt spring has no no no no yeah they've got they've got the skull pub makers of the chewing tobacco uh they've got some other like kind of clubby restaurant looks like a country clubby kind of thing yacht clubby kind of thing and then a bunch there's like a mini mall but i they're not many patios yeah there was a couple patios and this one was right on the water and it was a couple sitting down. Sounds divine. It really does.
Starting point is 01:21:50 It was beautiful. The light on the waves just like pretty diamonds as far as the eye could see. And this couple sat down behind me and the husband was like, huh, smells like low tide. And his wife like, huh? Smells like low tide.
Starting point is 01:22:05 And his wife went, huh? Must be low tide. We burned through all our conversation. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I was going to say. I know those conversations.
Starting point is 01:22:21 Yeah. No, his wife was like, it smells like low tide. you're smelling me what come on oh my god um now i looked up that movie the boy yeah there's a sequel called boy too brahms brahms boy too um the but like you know how google gives you little questions that people often ask yeah is the boy based on a true story thankfully the answer thankfully this movie is not based on it and any actual occurrence it's uh if if anybody's looking for just a really silly ride
Starting point is 01:23:00 that movie's got it and you liked it i loved it was it on shutter it was on shutter you're addicted to it i love it um yeah i've become a real horror movie fan during the the pandemic so i can't do it i don't know what it is like i just like i i just can't know that i'm gonna be scared i can't handle it has the pandemic changed you in any way? Stacey McGonigal? Can you imagine if I was like, I'm unscathed, you guys. Happy to say better than ever. You know, it has really changed me. I, yeah,
Starting point is 01:23:33 I love being home. It's really nice. I like my quiet time. Yeah. But I am simply too much now in my interactions i just did a facebook marketplace sale and i i can't buying or selling i was buying and i just am too i'm like hi i love your neighborhood oh my god like i'm just way too much now yeah what'd you buy i bought a uh coffee cart
Starting point is 01:24:01 way too much now. What did you buy? I bought a coffee cart. Coffee cart. Oh, a coffee cart. And I really put in an aggressive low offer and they said, fine.
Starting point is 01:24:11 Yeah. What? Now, boy, I look, Graham and I, we're smart men. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:24:18 Two of the smart men. This question's gonna sound like we're absolute idiots. Yeah. What the fucking coffee cart? Oh, no. You know those like, no, it's just like a little kitchen island. Just, fucking coffee cart oh no you know those like no it's just like a little kitchen island just you know like uh you know you're in a small space and you need to you know you're not like yeah you don't have a bicycle attached to a espresso
Starting point is 01:24:35 machine where you're not selling in a park no listen i would drink arena coffee um just made from like melted ice like i have no taste for coffee um when i go to starbucks i say the middle one um and a regular one can you even i go to starbucks i'm like can you do subway coffee you're in luck please uh subway have coffee subway does have coffee And you know who has really good coffee? McDonald's Yeah, McDonald's McDonald's got good coffee Yeah, they got great coffee But is Subway any good?
Starting point is 01:25:11 No, I haven't had a sip I haven't dipped my toe It's weird, right? I stay in my lane, but It's weird that they have it I think it's weird that they wouldn't have it Don't you think? Yeah, because they have a breakfast situation
Starting point is 01:25:22 Yeah They don't have a sweet breakfast I want coffee with sweet breakfast i like i like sweet breakfast too that's my preference bring your own sugar get a get a the bread and sprinkle sugar yeah sugar up your little egg bite yeah uh now we also have overheard sent in by people all over the map if you want to send one in this is going to be fun send it into spy at maximum fun dot org this first one comes from kq from vancouver kq the letter k the letter q kq baby aq is this past guest never guest former comedian kevin quinlan could be could be don't know what the don't know what the actual name is so it's possible uh. And if so, Hi, Kevin Goodland. Hi. Overheard in a tattoo shop
Starting point is 01:26:08 on Vancouver Island. I was lying face down on a tattoo table so I couldn't see the person, but a woman came in the shop and asked the front desk, Hi, do you do tattoo removals? Yes. Good. I got this yesterday and I decided I don't want it on my neck.
Starting point is 01:26:25 I think, don't you have to wait a while to get it removed? Like, it's probably still too raw. Yeah, I don't know the process. Or is it better to get it fresh? Yeah, maybe you can suck it like venom out, you know? Oh my God. Any tattoos, Stacey? No, I haven't done it.
Starting point is 01:26:43 I can't land on one thing that occurred to me the other day i don't even like wearing a shirt with anything on it yeah yeah you know like uh a couple weeks ago on the podcast i thought about this day today and just started laughing was dave saying that he had a tramp stamp it was a pair of uh gloves and it said, hit it like a champ. That was based on an actual lady from a tattoo show. I think it was called Inked. Are you talking about Ink Master?
Starting point is 01:27:14 No, it was a show. This was like when they had LA Ink and Miami Ink. They also had a show called Inked that was on, I think it was on A&E and it was at a tattoo shop at a casino in miami or no uh las vegas wait wasn't that with carrie uh cory hart that i think so yeah i i was so into
Starting point is 01:27:35 mrs pink maybe i can't pink you stink riding on a horse's dink that's the one get it you were into cory harry hart no i just was like deep i ran deep on the a and e tattoo shows like the dave navarro uh ink master franchise is actually so good if you're looking for some trash reality tv i just remember watching it for one minute and it was the like ultimate episode where they said and the winner of today's challenge is and then like 40 seconds of that kind of high pressure music oh yeah tension music and then dave navarro goes the winner is sausage oh yeah and a guy named sausage in a vest was like yeah i went that's me there was one guy i can't remember his his name was like hard ronnie or something it was like kind of so stupid and he was just convinced everyone was flirting with me and he'd be like are you flirting with me like he kept
Starting point is 01:28:41 getting so mad at people well Well, stop calling yourself hot. Yeah. Something like that. Like it was, yeah, I'll have to get back to you guys on the name. It was, yes,
Starting point is 01:28:50 please do. I will. Please. We'll have you back next week. Thank you. Now this, this next overheard from Doug from Indianapolis, it's a double barrel.
Starting point is 01:28:58 We've got two great things. He's heard a photographer. I shoot a lot of concerts this past week at a show. I was in the photo pit Waiting for a band to start And overheard A man in his 60s Tell his friend
Starting point is 01:29:09 And you know who She reminds me of? Pitbull She's all about entertainment And the lyrics are Just as clean as MC Hammer I didn't know that about Pitbull Is he clean?
Starting point is 01:29:22 Yeah I don't think I've ever heard him swear He's Mr. Worldwide. That's true. Oh, damn. Can you name a song of his? I don't know. Is Mr. Worldwide one of his songs? No. I can't. No, I can't.
Starting point is 01:29:37 Is he that one that goes, I know I want you. I know I want you. Hey, the you, I want you. You know, you guys have both heard the story about the contest the pitbull yeah test yeah no when he uh he so pitbull and jerry and elaine and kramer all decided to not masturbate for a while pitbull was out first actually yeah yeah yeah he caught one look of his bald head in the mirror and he was like, sorry. It was the same summer that there was like a contest to see if Taylor, like, whoever, whatever place gets Taylor Swift to come to their, you know, gets the most votes, gets Taylor Swift to come to their, perform at their place.
Starting point is 01:30:21 And it was Taylor Swift performing at a school for the deaf. Yeah. And so she refused. She was like, you're trolling me. Right. But Pitbull, go ahead, Graham. Pitbull was in a similar contest and he ended up having to play a gig in Alaska.
Starting point is 01:30:38 So it was like Pitbull will play at some Walmart. Yes, that's right. The most remote Walmart. And he went there and he put on a fucking amazing show. Did he? He treated it, yeah. He treated it like it was a fucking arena show and gave those people the show of their life.
Starting point is 01:30:56 I love that. Yeah, I love Pitbull for who he is and who he continues to be. When I lived in LA, I lived across from a school and they were throwing a fundraiser and Dave Navarro played. Cool. I guess he was a friend of a friend or something. I love it.
Starting point is 01:31:16 They said he was coming up or something and I rushed over and there was a full campground and there was drinks and stuff for the adults and he ripped it in a mesh top with two nipple rings. i was like i'm living just yeah solo yeah he was with like i guess like their parents or friends of the kids like parents that were like professional musicians but they treated it like it was this like huge concert it was insane yeah always put your best foot forward you know he also along with flea played
Starting point is 01:31:45 on you ought to know dave navarro yeah damn and ben montage from tom petty and the heartbreakers oh this is a double barrel mc hammer being the first one oh yeah before he heard that i also saw 20 something in the crowd who was wearing a t-shirt that said, I sucked Bigfoot's dick. Oh, that'd be a 20-something in the crowd. That's what I'm going to get tattooed. Now that I think of it, I want to see that every day. No, I suck Bigfoot dick. You could do that too.
Starting point is 01:32:17 You know? Yeah, why not, right? No, of course. This last one comes first. What do you think it's... No, no, no. Like, right? Don't just gloss over it.
Starting point is 01:32:23 What do you think it's like? Oh, a dream. A dream, right? Don't just gloss over it. What do you think it's like? Oh. A dream. A dream, yeah. Yeah. He keeps it clean. Yeah, he's caring. He's caring.
Starting point is 01:32:31 Yeah, he's caring. Exactly. Swims every day. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, this guy rules. This last one comes from Kevin in Newburgh, New York.
Starting point is 01:32:40 This was a call, like a fire call, a post a post from like a you know a county kind of police call i follow a bunch of them and this was a uh silver lake fire rescue call 368 r211 east belly button stuck in a window belly button stuck in a window yeah i don't know one of maybe it had a lattice or something a belly button ring i mean certainly an audi yeah an audi you gotta think it's a ring you gotta think it's a ring stuck on a you know uh what kind of glass stained glass maybe yeah beautiful metal bits in it beautiful stained glass ornate even we drove past my daughter's friend's apartment the other day and the windows were being held open with duplo yes that's good thinking that's that's actually really smart yeah i mean look if you got it use it yeah that's another great tip thank you in addition
Starting point is 01:33:42 overhears that are written and we also accept your phone calls. If you want to she said, and I quote, because you don't know how to fucking tell time, I'm going to have to teach Nico and Little Luce how to fucking tell time. Have a good day, fellas. Oh, no. Because you can't tell time, I had to teach them how to tell time. Oh, man. I thought it was going to be like you, because you can't tell time, I had to teach them how to tell time. Oh, man. I thought it was going to be like you, because you can't tell time, you're going to be late for your flight. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:34:30 Yeah, that's right. Because, yeah, I've just fallen out of time. I want to know how that woman found out that person can't tell time and why that's really affecting the kids, you know? Yeah, yeah. affecting the kids you know yeah yeah but my kids like in grade in kindergarten i think my older kid was learning to tell time analog and then i don't think they're doing it anymore i think that was the last year they were teaching anyone analog i got a phone yeah just look at your phone like uh 12 is noon or 12 is midnight depending on what time of day it is totally and then just repeat it's two it's the same 12 just with p instead of an a yeah even a broken phone is right twice a day unless you're
Starting point is 01:35:12 like a murderer and do the 24 hour time on the phone i don't want that i can't with that yeah enough with that what are you doing you have to be a general yeah my wife grew up in Europe and she does it and I'm like we get it your wife does it yeah we get it you drives me nuts
Starting point is 01:35:30 I can never figure it out like I'm like googling beside them being like what time is but she's like oh what if I miss the train you're like
Starting point is 01:35:38 you don't even have an accent where's that coming from mother I'm gonna miss the train pigeon train here's your next phone call hi spy this is Shannon from? Mother, I'm going to miss the train. Here's your next phone call.
Starting point is 01:35:49 Hi, Spy. This is Shannon calling from Houston with an overheard. My sister has been visiting with me from Louisiana and I overheard her talking to our mother on the phone. My mom told her that she had ordered something for me and she had given Amazon my sister's phone number in case they needed to call for directions.
Starting point is 01:36:06 Anyway, thought that was just too funny. We couldn't quit laughing about it. Love y'all. Bye. You don't need to call Amazon. They'll find you. Yeah, exactly. It's such a real folksy kind of.
Starting point is 01:36:18 Yeah. I like that one. Yeah. We've all had to call Amazon. We've all had to do it. No? Oh, Amazon, I'm like eight houses in from the corner. Yeah. Come. Yeah. We've all had to call Amazon. We've all had to do it. No? Yeah. Oh, Amazon. I'm like eight houses in from the corner.
Starting point is 01:36:27 Yeah. Come. Please. Please. Yeah. And I reckon y'all, you know, you don't need to let your drivers pee in a bottle. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:36:39 Let them. They welcome in and let them use the facilities. Grab them a lemonade. You know? Sure. Oh, yeah. I had movers today and I was like, you boys want a lemonade you know sure oh yeah i had movers today and i was like you boys want a bubbly you guys want a mango bubbly did they i bet of course
Starting point is 01:36:50 they did i mean it's i mean that's the upper echelon of bubblies and i was like yeah take as many as you need please that's delicious how many did they take um they took they all took one and i was like but i held the box open i was like how many movers came so two came but then i think one was training because there was three and um one was like can i have a glass of water and then he just kind of relaxed and like leaned into the sink and he goes how much you pay for this place and i was like get out of here get out of here we're not we're not answering those questions right now you keep asking you're not gonna get another bubbly okay yeah out of here. We're not answering those questions right now. You keep asking, you're not going to get another bubbly. Okay?
Starting point is 01:37:25 Get out of here. Yes. Yeah. How many times have you moved as an adult? Oh, my God. Oh, 10 maybe? How many times have you hired movers? Oh, the last couple of years.
Starting point is 01:37:41 Yeah. We're too old now. Beer and pizza, your saturday like yeah that's that's the old days no i think it's i think it's coming back dave's gonna help friends move yeah yeah no it's great the older i get the more i want people to drink pizza dave do you want to help me move i got some beer and pizza um how much beers do i have to drive from place to place will be there and adam christie okay oh my god oh they're all helping okay that'll be nice i think we should probably not spend time
Starting point is 01:38:13 together because one keeps infecting the other but we're all gonna try out our new bits and see how they land i love new beds here's your final phone call. Hey, Dave Graham, punchable guest. This is Nate from Brooklyn calling with an overheard from the Lower East Side while I was out coming home from a bar on Saturday night. You know, you're walking by the drunks getting
Starting point is 01:38:37 their drunk snacks and such, but there's this guy sort of impressing his friends doing these sort of amazing slinky tricks tricks just tossing the thing from hand to hand and when he stops he's like yeah dude I got three slinkies at home
Starting point is 01:38:54 come back to my place we're going to slinky it up anyway off I go first of all don't you call our guest punchable that's a lesson to all of you out there don't presume call our guest punchable. That's a lesson to all of you out there. Oh, it's okay. Don't presume. Détente. No, do not do.
Starting point is 01:39:07 Yeah. Yeah, that was rude. I mean, you'd be right 60% of the time, but not today. Oh, okay. I might argue, but I run fast. You won't catch me, but maybe. When he said slinky tricks and he said it was passing from one to the other hand, that is the only slinky trick as far as I'm concerned. I could do that.
Starting point is 01:39:26 Also, like, does he have stairs? Like, how many stairs are at this guy's place? Oh, shit. Yeah, yeah. We talking three-story walk-up or just... We're not putting it in the elevator. Although that would be funny. That would be funny.
Starting point is 01:39:38 I'm also thinking of him at the bar being the slinky guy. Like, being like, yeah. Slinky on his shoulder come here often oh this old thing what cute boys all going home to slink it up yeah oh well uh no no women want us tonight let's pack it in early guys and slink it up I can't believe we're still virgins with all these slinkies. Don't worry. We'll get there. We'll get there.
Starting point is 01:40:11 Slow and steady, just like the slinks. We just got to meet the right lady. And then the next time they're at the bar, there's a woman with a silly putty smashed up against a newspaper. Yeah, or she's on a pogo stick. up against the newspaper. Yeah. She's on a pogo stick. She's got two devil sticks or whatever. She's like, Oh,
Starting point is 01:40:29 Hey boys. Well, that brings us to the end of this here episode. Stacy, thank you so much for being our guest. Oh my God. It flew by. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:40:38 It was a great, this was fun time. So nice. It was, you wouldn't be able to tell you were first time guests. You were just in the rhythm right away. So much fun. Tell us and tell all the people out there, how can they find all the things that are
Starting point is 01:40:50 Stacey? Well, you know, you can follow me on Instagram. I'm doing things on there. I'm still using the stories feature. Nice. The Stacey McG is where you'll find me. And sometimes I do a podcast called the table podcast. Um,
Starting point is 01:41:08 we'll see if that comes back this season and, I'm 22 minutes. Yeah. You're on 22 freaking minutes. 22 minutes back this season. So you can catch that on, uh, in September.
Starting point is 01:41:19 Hell yeah. Hell yes. Uh, thank you again for being our guest and thank you everybody out there and everyone out in america if you're listening to this on july 4th look up and you might see a exploding thing in the sky and it's like it's how do i explain fireworks to these people bombs bursting in air that kind of boy. It's like the rocket's red glare a little bit.
Starting point is 01:41:46 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I understand. Yeah. So check out the fireworks and come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture.
Starting point is 01:42:12 Artist owned. Audience supported.

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