Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 752 - Kayla Lorette
Episode Date: August 16, 2022Comedian Kayla Lorette returns to talk concerts, fridge trauma, and blueberries....
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Hi, he's Dave Shumka, and he's Graham Clark, and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself.
Woo!
Hello, everybody, and welcome to episode number 752 of Stop Podcasting Yourself.
My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is the man, he has got a crazy new ringtone, Mr. Dave Shumka.
Yeah, I broke it out earlier. Now I feel like this is Chekhov's ringtone.
But it doesn't have to go off until the third act so you don't have to do it
right away was checkoff doing three act plays yeah two intermissions two intermissions yeah
jeez what do you get are you schnapps you get well in the first intermission it's customary
to get an ice cream and then the second that's when the wine is brought out and an ice wine not
regular wine but specifically i just won't shut up about ice wine.
Anyway,
we'll see if this phone goes off at all today.
I haven't gotten a call since 1997.
So it's unlikely.
Uh,
our guest today,
a return guest to the podcast,
one of our all time favorites.
She's a writer.
She's an actor.
She's a director. She's a producer. She's done it all and more. she's a writer she's an actor she's a director she's a
producer she's done it all and more it's kayla loretta everybody hi thanks for having me hello
hello hello thank you for being our guest again this is so exciting it's so exciting i was so
honored to be asked you know are you having a uh hot beverage Yes. Oh. I'm trying to do like the trick my body into thinking that it's a normal temperature.
I don't, you know what I mean?
Drinking tea on a hot day kind of thing.
That's what they say.
It's good for you.
I drink a lot of, I eat a lot of fat, so my body will think it's muscle time.
Yes, that is also how I sculpt my body yeah two three two one muscle time that's
what i yell at them yell in the mirror uh do we want to get to know us yes
get to know us kayla yes i'm here how the hell are you? Oh, goodness. I'm good. I'm good. It's summertime.
We're all having hot beverages.
Yeah, yeah.
Are you a summer person, or do you just stay indoors and in the shades?
Well, I feel like I have kind of a submissive personality, so I just really take whatever's going on.
You know, it's hot.
You've got to just kind of embrace it.
Yeah, it's true. I think this is a good idea.
I think if too many people fight the seasons.
Just go with the flow.
Yeah, unless you're willing to switch hemispheres, then.
Yeah.
No, you just have to let it go, and you just have to know that you're going to feel sickly.
Maybe you're going to have a bit of diarrhea.
A bit?
Yeah.
I'd be lucky.
I actually drink a little bit of hot diarrhea every day
just so my body
it tricks the body
another biohack
no I did hear about that online
another biohack
but it's fine
I'm excited for it to be fall
it's been unpleasant here
I hear it's too hot where you guys are too
it's too damn hot I would say for it to be fall. It's been unpleasant here, which I hear it's too hot where you guys are too.
It's too damn hot.
I would say.
Yeah,
it's,
it's okay.
Uh,
it's,
I mean,
it's too hot,
but look,
uh,
we took a look.
We had a really,
uh,
just let's move on from this topic.
We had pretty cold spring.
And so I feel like,
you know,
Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah., you know. Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, tell us what's been going on since last we talked.
I think it's been a year and a little bit.
Yeah.
And what have you been doing with yourself?
Well, what have I been doing?
I've been working, which is nice, and back in person, which is great. Better than doing writing jobs over Zoom, which is very awkward.
Oh, I didn't find that at all.
I loved it. Yeah. Trying to time is very awkward. Oh, I didn't find that at all. I loved it.
Yeah.
Trying to time a cool joke and be like,
oh, sorry.
And trying to bring it back later
and everyone's over it.
And then you sit in shame.
But that's been nice.
I've been busy.
I've been seeing a lot of concerts,
which I never really did before.
Yeah, who are you seeing?
But like big, big ones.
Oh, I know. Kayla, that's a guess. Okay. Big Bad Voodoo Daddy. That's a big before. Yeah, who are you seeing? But like big, big ones. Oh, I know.
Kayla, that's a guess.
Okay.
Big Bad Voodoo Daddy.
That's a big band.
Yeah.
That's a big band.
Yeah.
Big suits.
Glenn Miller Orchestra.
What was that choir that was on Letterman or whatever?
What's that?
It's like a hippy-dippy choir and there's like...
Oh, the...
What the hell is that called
oh boy the polyphonic spree oh yeah that yeah hit them choir choir choir
edward sharp edward sharp and his friends and you can't walk a block in toronto without running
into choir choir oh there are moms getting emotional singing you know wonderwall um do you ever would
you ever go to something like that a sing-along now no um it's not i think i'd be shy but then
there's also something i don't know it's too vulnerable but i appreciate that people do it
it seems nice i'm not a good singer but no i'm sure that's not true yeah you like you can hit probably hit a note properly yeah
yeah it's not coming out all quickly to um do hello by adele okay dave's gonna make some notes
big ben going down no but i went and i saw i went i saw paul mccartney oh very very emotional great well you did you get emotional oh cried so much
when multiple times multiple songs multiple times right away when he came out with
just came out oh there were rumors but yeah because him and john masturbated in the same
room or something yeah oh yeah they were always coming together um yay do you guys know
about this this well it's probably not new but did you know that paul mccartney has a song that goes
um i just want to fuck you yeah oh my goodness to hear that live yeah oh he did he did it he did it
he did it and he did another song that i don't know where he was
at with this politically but he had like big kind of video things going on and for one of his more
recent songs the video package was i guess from the music video which had natalie portman and yes
johnny depp um doing sign language to the song and it felt wild. Yeah.
Yeah, we,
Graham and I went to see Paul McCartney a few years ago.
Yeah.
Nice.
Did you cry?
No.
I sneezed.
Yeah, Graham sneezed a lot.
Yeah, I think five sneezes equals.
Because Paul McCartney brought his cat out.
Yeah.
What else does Graham always do? raw apples or something like that?
Yeah raw apples that's right
Good memory
Well that wouldn't make him sneeze it would make the roof of his mouth itch
Yeah
But
My brother is a giant
Paul McCartney fan
And had seen him the two nights before in Portland
The night before in Seattle,
and then in Vancouver. And my brother knew like the banter in between the songs, like
mouthing the banter. Yeah. He would be like, yeah. Okay. He's about to do, uh, Blackbird.
Oh yeah. And then, and his intro is he's going to say, now,
how many of you learned this?
This was the first song you learned on guitar
and you all learned it wrong.
You know what?
Yes, he did say that.
That's still in the act?
It's still in the act. I mean, why mess with perfection?
He just doesn't want people to cry
too much during it.
Yeah, get a little levity in there
What did you cry at?
When I first saw him
It felt emotional
After Blackbird
He did a little speech about how he never told John
That he loved him
Now, it was very tender
It was tender
Yeah, it was nice
Or a concert
Was that in the routine when we saw him? No, back then he said tender. It was tender. Yeah, it was nice. Or a concert. Yeah, but was that
in the routine when we saw him?
No, back then he said, I'm glad I never
told John I loved him. Two, three,
four!
And so you saw
the Beatles man.
I saw Beatleman.
I saw Beatleman. I saw Alanis.
Oh, how was that?
Again, crying, crying.
Who opened for Alanis?
Garbage.
Holy shit.
That's a show.
That's your show of shows.
No one opens for Paul McCartney, right?
It's like a DJ.
Just a DJ who's just kind of mixing Beatles tracks.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I like to think it was Paul in a wig.
I was trying to get this rumor going, but he's probably.
Did you hear it's just Paul in a wig?
Paul in a wig.
Did you hear?
Did you hear?
Did you hear?
Was it Alanis doing the whole album of Jagged Little Pill?
Yeah.
Is that what it was?
Yeah.
Holy shit.
That's a show.
Are you kidding me?
Yeah. That's. No new Are you kidding me? Yeah.
No new ones?
No covers?
No new ones?
She didn't do Fa You?
No, no Fa You.
Alanis' Fa You.
I want a Fa You.
Would she Fa You in a theater?
Oh, it's so fun to sing that.
But when we got there,
this whole row in front of us was empty.
We're like, this is great.
And then this crew filed in,
and it was really the worst of the worst kind of person
that Toronto produces.
And there was like 13 of them,
very like kind of young, tic-tac, rude, kind of kooky,
like just bad, giving us like ironic fist bumps.
And they're very, it was, everyone immediately felt bullied.
There was just a lot of like tender women going, oh God.
Were these people very young?
Yeah.
Where they were like, oh, the 90s are in.
Yeah, we were like, oh, are you guys fans?
This guy went, yeah, big Alanis fan.
I actually run the uh Alanis Facebook appreciation
group and then kind of high-fiving his friends we all felt so scared held up a little uh mustache
tattoo on his finger oh wow yeah so those were basically teens those were like those are mean
teens what arena Where was this?
Theater and arena?
It was at the Molson Amphitheater.
Oh, would you go down and you were in an amphitheater?
Exactly, yeah. Did everyone sing that?
We all went, what?
Dave Coulier made a point of doing the rounds.
He was at Howard Stern and did a bunch of interviews where he was like,
man, when I heard that, I was just like, boy, I must have done a real number on her.
He went on a publicity tour
about having a blowjob.
I don't think, he should have kept the mystique.
Don't talk about it.
Yeah, exactly.
I feel like that's the first gossip I ever learned as a kid.
Oh, yeah?
That's him that that song is about.
Yeah, there was some good gossip at the time.
I mean, we were post-Richard Geer and a gerbil.
Yeah, that's right.
Post-Rod Stewart and Stomach Pump.
Stomach Pump.
From the gerbils.
Post.
And then most of the Marilyn Manson stuff was fake.
That we know of.
That we know of, yeah.
Yeah, as if he's going to...
Release the x-rays, you know?
And that's what I'm always saying.
So you said those are two fantastic concerts to have seen.
Is there a third?
Is there a trio?
Well, yeah, then, okay.
Then we take a bit of a turn.
This weekend, Lady Gaga.
Oh, this weekend?
Yeah.
Nice.
That's like a few days ago.
Yeah, it was on Saturday.
That was wild.
I've never been to a big show like that.
Was this without Tony Bennett?
They did not cart him out, no.
I think that that started to feel like elder abuse
and someone must have kind of cut that off.
Yeah.
Right, yeah. to feel like elder abuse and someone must have kind of cut that off yeah right yeah and it was does she she's dances and sings and is it giant spectacle just crazy things flying all over the
place and being wild yeah costumes dancing a whole dance crew it was very exciting that's good because
i haven't seen much of her that version of her in recent years it's been a lot of the tony bennett a lot
of the um house of gucci a lot of the the shallow yeah shallaloh but did she do anything from house
of gucci did she do a little scene yeah she did some scenes yeah
please welcome jared leto everybody we're gonna do a scene together i would have loved it i loved
him in that oh yeah super mario brother it was great um those are those are all great
concerts and all of this is leading up to going to see with my mom in new york billy joel so
really this foursome has this happened yet no? No. This is, we're going
on the, I think it's on the 24th of
August. So that's coming up.
Wow. Is that at
Madison Square Garden? It is.
Does he still do it monthly there?
Well, I think he's taking
a break, but it was,
it was, I couldn't tell if I should
let my mom down when she was like, there are
tickets to Billy Joel. We can see him at Madison mom down when she was like, there are tickets to Billy Joel.
We can see him at Madison Square Garden.
I was like, ah, do I tell her that he plays monthly and then he's kind of a blowhard, he does this a lot.
But that's fun.
Keep it special.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And like, there's not going to be a song you don't know.
No.
This whole concert.
No, I don't think he's bringing out new ones.
He hasn't released anything since River of Dreams, I don't think.
Wow.
Holy shit, really?
Yeah.
So he's just been coasting on that.
Yeah, same with Huey Lewis.
Or Huey Lewis.
He lost his voice for a while.
His hearing, I think.
Or at least he has some ear thing that's like...
Tinnitus?
What is that one?
I don't think it's that.
I think it's like a
very weird kind of
it's like some days
he's fine some days he
can't get out of bed but he
never knows in advance
so he can't
they've called it Huey Lewis
it's Huey Lewis syndrome yeah
we're kidding Hue yeah he does a big
emotional speech at the end of pride of the news i consider myself the luckiest man in
new york san antonio in a burn no city
that was a few weeks ago we talked about songs where they mentioned a bunch of cities
yeah the heart of rock and roll.
That's one.
Is your mom a big Billy Joel fan?
Yeah.
She's very excited.
She's never been to New York.
It's going to be.
Is your mom from Vancouver Island?
Yes.
Yeah.
Born and raised?
No.
No.
Born.
My mom was born in Tasmania, weirdly.
Holy shit. Oh my God god how did that happen uh my grandparents moved there i don't know there was some kind of weird deal in the 60s
they were trying to bring nurses down i don't know help um so my grandpa moved there to work
at a hospital but yeah so that's and then and so but they didn't stop in new york
between tasmania and vancouver island okay um and then so is are you a billy joel fan or is this
something that you and your mom have bonded over yeah bonded over i feel like a billy yeah i feel
like yes i'm a billy joel fan i feel like it started maybe a bit ironically but there's just so many hits would you say uh does your is billy joel your mom's favorite no i don't know what my mom's
favorite is was she jealous that you went to paul mccartney she was a bit she was a bit tender about
it but i think the i think alanis was harder for her really oh she she's an alanis fan yeah
my mom keeps up you know know. Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Big Little Pill's big at our house.
Wow.
And my mom, you know, she's no slouch.
She listens to, what's the alternative rock station?
Peak?
What do you guys got out there?
It was the Peak, and then the Peak has just recently.
Like gone to like HD format or something like that it went to hd format but the on the
fm station it's now some weird mix of things that's like sean mendez and highway to hell by
acd say oh acd say no one's happy about it what if they just started uh doing christmas songs
they're like that would make sense.
The Vancouver radiosphere is in tatters at the moment.
Well, it's a very eclectic place.
It's hard to satisfy everyone.
I know.
So, Billy Joel
coming up. There's one thing you mentioned
before the show and I wrote it down
and I'm going to show it to you.
And this is what we're going to talk about next.
You're showing me an envelope?
Oh, I see what it says.
You see what it says?
Oh, ICBC. Okay. And it does say Ceviche.
So,
I am
currently liming
up some shrimp in my fridge.
Nice.
To make ceviche.
She's liming up the shrimp.
So what usually happens when we make a show, when we make a podcast, is someone says something before the show.
And we're like, oh, don't talk.
Don't talk yet.
That's so good.
We got to talk about it on the show.
And then we always forget.
So this time I wrote it down.
Yeah, this is good. This is good stuff. Have you ever made ceviche before have i did i spell it right
you did i've never made it before i'm a fan yeah where do you get it okay well it's not really true
i guess true well not true ceviche but it should be with some kind of white fish but i had some
frozen frozen shrimp so maybe not that classy what I'm doing.
But you're a fan of it.
Where have you had it?
In Mexico.
Oh, yeah, that's where you want to get it.
Absolutely.
You don't want to get it in Fort McMurray.
Although maybe they have a special way of preparing it up there.
I've always liked, I like sour things.
I like spicy things.
Now, Graham, do you, Graham can't have seafood of any kind.
That's right.
Do you know what ceviche is?
No clue.
I think, is it cold?
Is it something you eat cold?
It is cold.
Well, did you know this, Graham?
Hold on to your hat.
Here we go.
Did you know that you can cook fish, or any kind of protein in a citrus juice.
I did not know.
So this thing does not have to touch heat.
No heat.
It's just cooking because it's in lime?
Yes.
Whoa.
So you can do, it's just, I don't know how long it would take to, you know,
maybe do a chicken breast.
You're probably going to get sick if you do that.
Yeah, don't do that.
But yeah, you can cook seafood in lime juice or lemon juice, whatever, and it cooks it.
That's crazy.
Mix in a little bit of, I don't know, onion.
I've got some red onion, some jalapeno.
Oh, sure.
I'm going to do some avocado.
I've got some mango.
Does this go over rice or what is this?
Is it a soup?
Does it go over your mouth?
Because it's hot.
I've got some plantain um, some plantain chips.
Okay.
That I'm going to eat it with.
This sounds great.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Um,
I've only,
I think I've only had it once and it was,
uh,
boy,
what did you call it?
Um,
I was in Turks and Caicos,
uh,
and we were snorkeling and they,
the people running the snorkel boat
Picked up
You know
Conk
Conk
Or it's spelled conch
Conch yeah
So it must be conk
This is the shell
It's the big shell
But inside there's a little critter
And they picked up a bunch of those And cut them up, pulled the critters out, cut them up and did it right on the boat.
And I got to tell you, I did not want to eat this stuff.
I just watched this thing get murdered in front of me.
But it was delightful.
Oh, so good.
Well, yes, what I'm doing is not going to be good.
It's not fresh, but it is just a good. Well, yes. What I'm doing is not going to be good. It's not fresh, but
it is just a good taste combination.
Totally. I was in
Antigua earlier this year.
And Barbuda?
I did not get to Barbuda, but we were close.
We were. You're always
a conks throwaway.
But there was conk fritters
everywhere. I think there was conk
ceviche, but yeah isn't it isn't
the conch like where they blow through it and movies and whatnot makes that sound blow it in
a theater maybe it's not even that your voice that's going through maybe it's the critter
hearing your voice and screaming
you have piggyback his glasses have you ever kayla have you ever had something where it's
similar to that where it's like prepared within your environment like it's happening you can see
it being prepared fresh fresh fresh yeah well you know a caesar salad or walk by the table um yeah
yeah yeah yeah subway yeah. Subway.
Subway, they do it right in front of you.
Subway, you crash, they do it your way.
Check out their little potato buns they're doing these days.
Really?
Are they gluten-free?
What's potato about them?
Oh, I don't know.
I guess just because they're kind of sweet and small.
I don't know if they're gluten-free.
It's part of their Eat Fresh Refresh campaign. Where they're doing things a little bit different.
Except that they're doing the same things that they always do.
But they've added a couple of possible...
They've added spinach.
That's a big coup for...
They're doing a green goddess sauce.
I saw that.
That's nice for the gals.
Yeah, sure.
Some nutritional yeast up in this piece.
I saw a Subway that got redone because of this campaign.
It looks fucking classy compared to the rest of the subways out there.
It's got a cool new logo.
It's got black and gray colors.
Oh, wow.
Like the LA Kings.
Yeah, exactly.
Anyways, I'm really excited about this refresh and uh i'm happy for them yeah they keep reinventing
things you know so have you uh the your your question for graham was have you had something
prepared like table side yeah graham asked me something or like you're saying something kind of fresh like i guess i meant graham what did you have in mind well like i i didn't eat it but uh i went on a gig
and the person who was running the gig was like you got to come down and get these crabs because
the crabs are the best from this area or whatever and then there was a woman there and she like
cracked and gutted it in front of
us.
And she did that like eight times in a row and it cost 50 cents per,
which is like,
you can charge $5 for that.
That's fucking crazy.
I've seen my dad go nuts on some,
because we have a crab trap on Vancouver Island and just him,
like just taking a crab's body and just ramming it against a rock and just
smashing his body in half.
And then it is,
it's the best tasting.
It's so good.
And where was your dad born?
He was born in Abbotsford.
Okay. Well, Surrey.
Surrey, but. They like to say
Abbotsford, sure. Yeah.
Anything other than Surrey.
No, I think that's
the closest. That's cool that he has
his own crab trap.
I've been to a restaurant where they
bring a cart next,
like the,
the bartender.
I,
maybe it was just for this one specific drink,
but they come by,
they brought,
they brought this cart next to a table and they made a drink that had like
dry ice and stuff.
And it was this big production.
That's pretty cool.
Yeah.
Yeah.
There was a nerd bar in Vancouver for a while that if you ordered a certain drink
it's like the room darkened and there was sound effects played it was great i think that's a real
tiki bar kind of thing yes yeah and you just don't know can you imagine going on a date and that's
the first date you go to this crazy tiki bar but then you you have that story. That's true, yeah. And then he ordered the
fishbowl. Yeah, that good story
will get you to the third date.
Third base with those sugary
drinks.
Come on.
I went to the tiki bar in town
once.
And they said, we cut people off after three
drinks. They're too much.
You can't.
It's too sweet and there's too much happening.
It really sends you down a hole.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because like I find that a drink tasting like a drink holds you off from just gulping it down like a soda.
But I'm here with my giant blue bowl of Curacao.
Screaming and laughing and just wanting more and more.
Yeah.
More now.
We're getting that guy off too.
Just umbrellas.
So many umbrellas in his hair.
Yeah.
Cut him off after three gigantic balls.
I wonder if that was anybody's local where they're like, they walk in and somebody's like
giant pink for you, here it comes
I'm here every night after work
Have you been to the Tiki Bar in town, Graham?
No. You should
Do you like that kind of thing?
Yeah, I would go, just to go
Is it like a restaurant
or it's just a bar? it's just a bar it's just
a bar it's a whole culture really yeah that's true yeah that's i went in the middle of a snow
storm at like opening time at 5 30 that's when things are really jumping so i'm not sure i got
the full experience but uh i was you know stumbling out three drinks later. So bright.
Yeah.
And when you're walking blasted like that in the snow,
you can really see how much you weevil and wobble when you walk.
Yeah, but I don't fall down.
Yeah, it's because you've got that real heavy bottom, you know?
Yeah, well.
Is there a dream concert that you wish you could see?
Or is this it?
Oh, who's dead that you wish you would see?
Oh, God, who's dead?
So many people.
I have like, okay, first of all, dream concert, dead concert, and first concert.
Okay.
Oh, nice. Okay, yeah.ert, and First Concert. Okay. Oh, nice.
Okay.
Yeah.
In that order or any order?
Whatever.
Okay.
Okay.
Dream Concert.
Okay.
I have to cut out a lot of sound here.
We're going to put a little music.
Yeah.
Nice.
Well, okay.
Dream.
This is annoying and not interesting.
But this is Dream concert and Dead concert.
Okay.
All in one.
Because he never played a live show.
But I love Harry Nielsen very much.
Oh, really?
He never played a live show?
Never did.
Wow.
He just didn't do it.
And, you know, they would do those like BBC live kind of concerts.
If you watch his on YouTube, it's just him alone how is that a thing like how could you how could you exist in
that era and not play live i don't know he just didn't want to but then that you gotta admit that
does create quite a mystique like oh yeah the guy who doesn't do live shows oh what's that what's he
about it's so mysterious
you just see pictures of him
on his album
and you're like
where's his house coat
all the time
cool guy
okay what
okay someone else
and what was your first concert
oh my first concert was
well
okay I guess
technically my first concert was
I guess it was the Barenaked Ladies Maroon Tour.
Ah, it's been one week since.
Yeah, yeah, I loved Gordon so much.
Yeah, and were you, you were a kid at the time?
That's a fun concert to go to.
Yeah, how old would I have been?
Well, I don't know.
It's kind of kids music
so there's a kid's music quality and then they became then they did a couple kids albums
and then i did the theme to a kid's tv show the big bang theory they got that coke head out of
there yeah um that's and then so dream show and dead show that's both yeah and then that's first
okay who next oh we don't go oh okay okay we're the we are the askers of questions so graham do
you have a dream show or dead show or first show what was your first concert first concert the
beach boys oh my goodness a big outdoor festival when i was like 10 or nine or 10 or something like that.
And I,
you know,
I knew all the songs.
That's the good first concert for a kid.
Is he like,
it's the tape that we played in the car.
So it was them live on stage.
Um,
Brian Wilson was not in attendance.
He was still,
uh,
lying in bed.
Like,
like he would.
Yeah. Oh, there's a little overlap there.
Dave, what was your first concert?
My first concert was Peter Gabriel
at the Pacific Coliseum
in 1993.
Those are great.
With
Papa Wembe opening
presumably on his record label, his weird world music record label
and uh he yeah i was a huge fan of his for some reason i can't quite figure it out uh tweens
tweens love peter gabriel he speaks to the yeah and uh his like he has a few songs with a female singer like he had
a song with kate bush he has a song with um uh shenate o'connor but on his like backup vocalist
female backup vocalist was paula cole um you know from lilith fair from the dawson's creek song
that's quite a concert you got there.
Before she was famous.
I think Peter Gabriel appeals to kids.
He has very silly music videos.
It's silly.
Other songs are so, if they're not weird, then they're just so serious and like humanitarian.
Well, what's the big hit with the kind of claymation
sledgehammer like yeah sledgehammer i was like this is my kind of song when i was a kid and
then later i was like oh it's about kind of sex it's kind of about sex yeah yeah harry styles did
a cover of it and he's all about sex he's all about my watermelon sugar. Eh? Yeah. That's about sex I hear too. You know what that is about?
I mean, I guess so.
But like, a kid could totally sing about that because kids love watermelon.
They love that and sugar.
We seem to play, yeah.
You know, Kayla, Kayla, what's it about?
Well, watermelon sugar, you see, sometimes a lady, she got a taste.
Oh, boy. I think you said it all
I think you said it all
and it tastes like watermelon sugar
lady she has a taste
I guess the first line is it tastes like strawberry on a summer evening
that sounds pretty
wait a minute tastes like strawberry
that's nothing like watermelon
look I don't know what this
goes i don't think he's ever done it i don't think he's done it i don't think he's done it
no this is a 40 year old virgin situation i would love that an interviewer being like
based on your lyrics have you ever had sex yeah man it's like strawberries kind of cake and
sometimes it's like you know when you chew tinfoil but it's fun yeah just talking about
it's making my butt go all wiggly my my butt's getting so, talking about this?
Yeah, Peter Gabriel, that's a good one. What about a dead guy?
Oh, probably Jerry from the dead, man.
You got it.
Yeah.
Solo, solo?
Solo Jerry.
Solo Jerry.
For four hours.
I don't know.
for four hours um i don't know um which would have been you know like i've i've seen some things i've seen i don't feel like i really missed out on much i went to a lot of concerts
nice it's so fun this is like the first time i've done this and it feels so good
i feel like i've denied myself this doing the mean? Yeah. I never think it's such a fun show.
It's fun to see the crowd.
Yeah, the only concerts I don't like
is when I know two songs by the band
and then I just have to sit through
the rest of the songs.
Like, I'm going to see...
The P&E has a lineup of shows
during the end of summer.
And I'm going to see Nelly,
but then I realized I don't know
so many Nelly songs.
So I'm kind of doing homework now.
Why did you just settle on Nelly?
Are you going to,
there's like 20 great shows.
Oh,
I'm going to three different shows,
but Nelly's the one that I.
Are you going to the B-52s?
Nope.
I'm going to Chicago.
You've said that you wanted to do the B-52s last tour.
I didn't know that the B-52s were a part of it.
And Cake.
That's the other one I'm going to go see.
Oh,
long,
long skirt,
short jacket.
Cake, absolutely what sex is like. That's what sex tastes like. That's the other one I'm going to go take. Oh, long skirt, short jacket. Cake, absolutely what sex is like.
That's what sex tastes like.
Nelly, what's Nelly's crew called?
Oh, that's a good question.
The St. Lunatics?
Yeah, the St. Lunatics.
Are they coming?
I don't know.
Maybe one of them will drop in and do a set.
Cool.
Did he have, yeah, that was fun when rappers had like, well, you get to also be a D12.
Yes.
Yeah.
You get to also have a G unit.
A lot of pressure on those other guys to kind of have one fun costume piece so they'd stand out. I feel like the St. Louis
there was some guy who kind of had like a
kind of the opera mask or something.
That's right. Yes. Oh my God. You're nailing
it. Yeah.
Yeah, but I know
the hits, but then he's not
just going to play all the hits. He's going to play other
songs. So
I'm really digging deep. I'm really doing some
research so I can enjoy the show.
Do you have to buy advance tickets
or is it just like you go that day?
Kind of a field you walk up into?
No, you gotta buy advance tickets, but you also have
to buy admission to the park
in order to see it.
You can go see the pigs.
I can go see the pigs. I can eat a mini donut.
They do butter sculptures
around there?
I don't know that we have butter sculptures around here.
There's usually some exhibit.
A few years ago, I went and there was like the bunch of stuff from Game of Thrones.
Come see the stuff.
It literally was like to line up for 45 minutes to get your picture taken on the throne.
Please do not bring any soda near the throne i can't say enough please dispose of your soda before you get on the throne dicky throne
uh yeah i'll go to those things isn't there like um uh like an indoor kind of stuff convention
like different booths of oh yeah. Maybe that's just the
stampede. I think it's an outdoor one of like
you ShamWow. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, maybe you can get yourself a hot tub.
Yeah, you can go see
the local news broadcasting
live from there.
Now that's good.
Call your friends and say, I'm going to do a silly face.
Yeah. Five seconds, so get ready.
Turn on the news. Also, do you have cable? Call your friends with say, I'm going to do a silly face. Yeah. Five seconds. So get ready. Turn on the news.
Also, do you have cable?
Call your friends with cable and tell them.
I think the news is at a tight delay.
So just keep it on.
Keep it on in the background.
Nellie is playing Hot in Here for the third time.
Did you ever have an opportunity as a youth to go behind a live reporter and make faces and go nuts?
Oh, what a dream.
Yeah.
Red access.
Yeah, it is.
It's a dream come true.
I did it when I was in junior high and I loved it.
I love it every second of it.
The guy told us to knock it off.
Did it work?
I mean, to some degree.
Some people got afraid. I wonder what you were up to were you going
like making a face or yeah i think it was making a face maybe jumping up in the air
undulating yeah and i mean there was me and a bunch of guys you know i can't take sole credit
for this uh nor should you take sole responsibility yeah that's right no you screw around, it could get, you know, fired. Absolutely. I did see, kids are still up to no good.
I saw a corner a few blocks from here.
They just repaved it and there was wet cement.
And you better believe someone wrote either their initials or their name is Seb.
Seb.
Nice.
Could be Sebastian.
Could be Sebastian. Could be Sebastian.
Or it could be Sandra Eleanor Ballooney.
Eleanor Ballick.
Have you guys ever done that?
No, but I feel like I'd be a bit tempted.
Oh, yeah, of course.
It's impossible to just see that perfect Wet cement that they've been
Perfectly
Oh it's wet like watermelon sugar
You know how sometimes it's like
Concrete you know what I mean
It makes you wet like new cement
Like new cement
He lists everything that it's not
It's like really sandy sandpaper.
It's like so, it's really sandy rough.
Yeah.
It gets so hard.
With time, with time.
With time, yeah.
And it smells like, you're like, oh, is someone cooking bacon in here?
Nice try, Harry.
Someone burning hair around here it's a picture of a very complicated woman which i appreciate you know yeah yeah um
uh yeah well uh dave what's going on with you? Oh, me? Yeah, you. Who, me?
Well, let's see.
Nothing.
But I did tell you that we're currently just doing a little balancing act in the house because our fridge is dead.
Yeah.
We have dead fridge syndrome.
And so we're moving.
We have a little mini fridge that we're moving, you know, expensive milks into yes yeah yeah absolutely i don't even know what i would save in my fridge right now i'm not
sure i just maybe throw it out wholesale i we we did just buy oat milk so maybe i take that
we had a few weeks ago someone left the freezer open for overnight and we had to throw everything out.
So we've just
replenished the freezer. We also still have some things
in the freezer we just keep forever like
our wedding cake.
Gotta have that.
But we're never gonna
eat that again.
Don't you eat it like on the 10th
or something or the 15th?
Yeah, you eat it on your first anniversary
okay uh but we we did uh and then no we didn't finish it we and we won't um but i remember around
the same time my dad was like oh we still have our wedding cake from 40 years ago. Oh, Jesus. And ate a bunch of it.
It's kind of a funny prank to put on,
you know,
maybe your daughters
that they have to keep
this little hunk
of old cake forever.
Yeah.
When they get a home,
now you've got to keep the cake.
Yeah, exactly.
I brought this from Tasmania.
If you get rid of the cake,
we will divorce.
So you've got to.
And even after I'm dead,
you have to keep this cake. Otherwise, I go to yeah yeah this is my tether to the real world so we're doing uh yeah we're like
living out of a mini fridge now and it's fine that's uh that's cool but you've done that right
i don't have a mini fridge but i on the road, I've put a lot of stuff.
But you've had like a fridge die.
I don't know about this fridge die thing.
I never experienced that.
Power outage.
Do you know princess die?
Well, yeah, I do.
And that was the paparazzi.
Yeah.
I blame them.
Lady Gaga told us all about them.
Papa paparazzi.
Is that song about her dad?
It's about her dad.
Papa Roach and paparazzi.
The two big...
Papa John's is another.
These are our big papas.
Papa Wimbe who opened for Peter Gabriel.
Yes, another classic papa.
Papa Smurf.
Oh, also, we're doing an episode
of this show where
people correct us. Yeah.
There's too many people who are writing in and calling
in being just like adding things to
a list of papas.
That's not a correction.
We're just in the moment naming a bunch of things.
No, what's going on is
we can tell the bit is
diminishing returns, so you stop listing papas
because what is that yeah uh the closest i've ever come to not having a fridge is like having a day
without one when i was getting a new one oh yeah so that you put a bunch of uh onions in the sink
yeah put onions in the sink my refrigerated put onions in the sink. My refrigerated onions.
Like an onion cold.
So this is not an old fridge.
This is a four-year-old fridge.
It's just going into kindergarten this year.
Yeah, it's past the terrible twos.
And it's, so I called the manufacturer.
I was like, do I call someone to repair it or do I call the manufacturer?
And they'll, I really wanted them to say, hey, that's too young for a fridge to malfunction.
Have a new fridge.
Have a new fridge and a stove on us.
But they said, oh yeah, no, you're not under warranty, but we do, we'll give you a flat rate repair.
Oh, that's nice.
No matter what it needs fixing,
no matter what,
how long it takes, it'll be
just $12,000.
Are you willing to put them
on blast? No, no.
It was $300. $300?
That's not bad.
I would just say life's good with this brand.
With this brand, life's good.
Life's good. Life's good.
Life's good.
It's got to be Maytag, right?
Maytag.
Maytag.
Life's good.
GE.
World.
And they, so we're waiting, but like I called, so I called them up and they were like, all
right, well, I can't take your payment info over the phone and I can't book you a thing
over the phone.
You have to go to this website.
And so you go to the website you put in
your credit card and you tell them when you would like a repair person to come the earliest was two
days from that date it's supposed to tomorrow and uh there's no like no follow-up i'm just
waiting around hopefully they show up tomorrow. We'll see.
Otherwise, we're a mini fridge family.
Yeah.
Which is like, I think it's like, you know, downsizing.
It's like, really, it's Marie Kondo.
It's very.
Which of this food sparks joy? Very city living.
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
Some of the food sparks joy.
Some of it food sparks joy.
Some of it just sparks fullness.
But you guys could just be just buying the stuff for the day and just having that be a part of it.
A grocery store every day, yeah.
Yeah, like we're at an Airbnb.
And we realize, oh, they don't have flour.
Or, oh, this Airbnb doesn't have salt.
Or a full set of utensils. I've been in a
couple Airbnbs. What are the top things
that need to be in the fridge in your family?
Milk.
Milk. Lemonade.
And then we have the special
fridge around the corner.
Dairy. You were
milk yogurt. Cheese family.
Cheese. Meats.
We're having kids. Kids like cheese sticks and things. The cheese family. Cheese, meats. We're having
kids. Kids like cheese sticks
and things.
Did you hear about this?
There's a guy in Toronto that
moved into a place and there was like a cheese string
in the fridge and he bought
a billboard at like Dundas
Square saying like, we'll
trade for interesting thing.
And so he's been offered a chihuahua so far
yeah he's like we'll trade this for i think he's trying to do the thing where he just
moving up and up and he's just trying to get in on daily hive and he is uh he was successful he
was absolutely sitting in front of you at the alanis concert. Hey, man, it's just I'm trying to accelerate my brain here.
That is the vibe.
Yeah.
So, yeah, that's me where I'm, you know, fridging it.
Fridging it, living it.
2022, I forgot what year it was.
Too many damn twos.
I can't keep back.
Graham, what do you guys tell me about your fridges?
I got a new one here because the old one had black mold in the door.
We were like, let's get rid of that.
Yeah.
And the landlord was very, like, very, very quick to replace it.
It was like within a day or
two you knew about the black mold yeah yeah exactly and so it's nice it's nice it's a
fridge is on top freezers on the bottom yeah um it beeps at you if you leave the door open too long
yeah beep um and that's that's about it like it's a standard fridge but i feel like modern fridges are not
designed to last very long i feel like like people you could have a fridge from 1980 and still have
it yeah i feel like i've got an old fridge yeah maybe a bit moldy but she works well yeah yeah
i think my parents would still have their brown one yeah Yeah. Oh, I'd love to have a brown fridge.
Do you have water or ice in yours?
No, mine's bare.
No, none of that.
None of the frills.
What brand are we talking?
I can't see from here.
Just an old tiny apartment fridge.
Right.
It's like some weird brand like Detroit Special or something like that.
Just never heard of.
Yeah.
It kind of makes a bit of like
kind of a struggling sound sometimes
but it hasn't broken yet.
Mine's making a struggling sound right now
and it's like room
it's humid in there.
We had to tape it shut
for the two days
while we wait for a repair person to come
because we just keep opening it by accident
like oh I just need some
oh
yeah are you tempted to see if the fridge
does the opposite now that it's broken can you
put a roast in there and see if it
will cook it somehow
I'm making a ceviche
it's a warm ceviche
it's
weird ours has the
freezer on the bottom as well yeah uh which i didn't
realize until i had kids it's like oh the kids have to be like a certain height before they can
help themselves to things now yeah that's right and like when i was a kid the freezer was like a
wonderland like it was something i only just saw but i knew popsicles came out of
it oh so much fun yeah exactly it was like fun that was the fun part of the fridge uh but how
could i get up there i was just a little kid you know did you have popsicles growing up like
regularly did i have yeah in the summer it was crazy it was like every day freezies absolutely
yeah yeah blue freezies were you what about you kaylaies, blue freezies, white freezies. What about you, Kayla?
Yeah, we do freezies.
We'd love a fudgesicle occasionally.
Nice.
But was it like stocked?
No.
Yeah, I feel like it was a treat.
Always a treat.
Well, and I'm an only child, so I feel like getting that once in a while, but you can't really, we're not getting through them enough.
That's right.
And you can't rally siblings to be like,
everybody asks.
Yeah.
Exactly.
I'm like,
yeah,
I just am one person.
And back then they had the,
the popsicles were the kind you had to crack on the counter to break in half.
Yes.
Now they're just individuals.
Ooh,
those ones with the,
would have some kind of cream on the inside,
like an ice cream on the inside with the fruit on the outside. Yeah. Like the creamsicle. Oh, those ones would have some kind of cream on the inside. Like an ice cream on the inside
with the fruit on the outside? Yeah, like
a creamsicle. Oh, creamsicle. Yeah,
that is what it is. Yeah, yeah.
Those weren't crackers. You wouldn't crack
those. Kayla,
come on. Be real. Sorry, sorry.
No, I fucked up.
And it's, you know, that's okay.
Did you ever,
I was a big pour a can of Coke in a cup and freeze it and then dig it out
and spend the next day digging it out.
Kind of making your own slow motion kind of slurpy situation.
Yeah, with weird thick syrup on top.
Oh, that's good.
Didn't freeze as much as the rest of it.
Huh.
It's a.
It's what I get up to, yeah.
Oh, like, yeah.
Frozen pudding rocks whoa as it gets like it gets so hard but it starts to melt you get like you can start to the texture is very good yes
yeah yeah yeah i feel like uh for one reason another my mom kept chocolate chips in the
freezer so those were great. Cold chocolate chips.
Do you ever freeze like a Reese's peanut butter cup? You wouldn't. I wouldn't.
Or maybe I wouldn't just leave it there.
That's so good. I really tried to
fool myself a few summers ago
making like fake butchicles
with avocado and it was like
they were disgusting but I could be like
I like them.
You were trying to trick yourself.
I like them. Me? I like them. You were trying to trick yourself? I like them.
Me?
I like them.
As far as me, I'm the one who likes them.
I don't see the difference.
It's the same way where I was really trying to have water with apple cider vinegar.
Be like, it's just like lemon.
Like, no, it's not.
I need to cut down on my lemon.
It's just vinegar water that I'm like, I think it's good.
You're making yourself into a ceviche.
I really am.
You're cevichifying your inside.
Is that avocado treat in there?
Anyway, so we've got some fridge trauma happening right now but
you know hopefully we'll come out the other end of it maybe you guys will stay at a hotel for a
few days and then for sure nobody's going to be opening it because you'll be at the hotel
yeah exactly we'll go in and every time we open it, we buy a $40 bag of M&Ms.
Graham, what's up with you?
Well, food-wise, this is, I went up to where I used to live.
I used to live in South Fraser, which is a lot of Indian population,
a lot of Asian population.
Fantastic place to go buy fruit.
There's like a day every year.
I should say, we ordered Indian food the day before our fridge broke
and had to throw out a bunch of food.
Oh, that's sad.
That sucks.
Yeah.
Don't really got Indian food.
That's expensive.
Yeah.
Not where we bought it.
Okay.
A pound for pot. Yeah. Pound for Pound.
From Wendy's.
They do a great curry frosty.
Yeah, have our mini Mooder Paneer.
Junior Bacon, I don't know, Indian thing.
Junior Bacon Pecoras.
Yes, there it is there it is um don't submit another version of this
guys there's not this is like this is a lot like a zoom writer's room where you
put out an idea and just hope someone else fills it in just sweating trying to think of indian food pakora um bun bun uh non non rice rice rice um
anyways this neighborhood every other store is a bodega they've got it's the best place to buy
fruit in the city because it's very cheap and it's usually very good and i walked by one of them and this they had two you know those giant
blue tupperware bins that you kind of like are very helpful in moving or storing a lot of articles
you get two of those filled with blueberries and uh what you did is you asked him for blueberries he gave you a plastic
bag to hold open and he would just tip the thing over until you said stop and so i was like okay
so i got i got what i was in another supermarket they would charge 28 for i got this for $7 $7 and I ate them so fast
so then
fast forward a couple days later
my toilet's blue
yeah
my teeth have to be replaced
and I've run out
of blueberries and I'm like
well time to go back go back to where the blueberries and I've, I've run out of blueberries and I'm like, well,
time to go back,
go to back to where the blueberries exist.
So I go back to South Fraser,
the same bodega.
Still,
they've got two giant dubs,
tubs full of,
of blueberries still.
So I go with a,
like a bag,
like a reusable bag.
And I just say,
yeah, I said, fill it fill it up yeah just fill it to
the top which he did and he had so much fun doing it he was giggling the whole time because i think
people just want like a certain amount but he was like oh my god i just fill it up to the brim
um so he was having a great time i was having a great time this I was having a great time. This is like about a pillowcase sized thing of blueberries that I got.
And the first,
the first thing wasn't that big,
right?
No,
the first thing,
but the first thing was like half of those like plastic bags you get.
And how did you eat the first one?
Just like handful,
handful,
handful.
Yeah.
I can really just go on autopilot and just eat blueberries or raspberries or blackberries just absentmindedly.
Another question was the weight of the berries at the top.
Was this crushing anything at the bottom?
No, you would get a couple of crushed ones just by them being in proximity.
But no, surprisingly like the integrity was pretty
good of these blueberries did you ever think about writing a little comic strip where the
uh blueberries have voices and they're like all crushed together like hey you're crowding me here
yeah i did and i submitted it to the new yorker and they fucking hated it oh they didn't they
didn't just they usually just don't say anything. Yeah, normally it's radio silence.
That's what they said.
We fucking hate this.
They said, we don't usually do this, but we all fucking hated this comic so much.
This is badly drawn as well.
These are supposed to be blueberries?
This is what you think a blueberry looks like.
We didn't care for the short personal story to give context to this beforehand.
We found it...
Sad. A bit much. personal story to give context to this beforehand. We found it sad.
A bit much.
Okay.
So, I mean, naturally because they're so juicy,
they soak through the bag for sure.
So I was lucky that I didn't get it.
Oh, you're giving Harry Styles ideas.
Yeah, yeah.
Just sucking the bottom of this reusable bag.
Oh yeah, it soaks right through the plastic reusable bag just like a woman
right guys right
that's how they are
now this is you doing Harry Styles
yeah
right
sticky dames.
Okay.
Yeah, so now I've got all the blueberries that a boy could ever want.
You texted me last night.
Yeah, I was like, do you need any blueberries?
You said, do you like blueberries?
I bought too many, and I said, my fridge is broken.
Yeah, it's a real gift of the mad.
I broke my fridge
so I could buy you these blueberries.
How many got
left?
I have, I still
have like a bowl full. So I've basically
worked my way through a fairly big
Tupperware. And you're going to freeze some of them how is the um digestion great never better okay uh what about
uh do you do you like baked goods with them i do i love uh but you won't very brand often
oh that's nice i probably won't because i'll just fuck it up. You could put them down into like a compote kind of,
some kind of blueberry sauce you could have on something,
on ice cream or pancakes.
Yeah, have some pancakes.
Yeah, compote it.
Yeah, compote.
You know, free some for future use.
Right next to my wedding cake,
I'll put this bag of blueberries in there.
Because also, smoothies, right?
That's smoothie material
for weeks and weeks.
So I'm just seeing how many of these I can see.
That's what I call it when smoothie material
is what I call it, how my pants get
when a lady is naked.
It's called smoothie material.
It's called smoothie material.
We hope you like it five six seven
you think you went back because you loved to eat the blueberries so much or because you were so
proud of the deal yeah i feel like it was so proud of the deal. And you wanted to see the guy's face again.
Yeah, you were like, it's going to be great when I bring this bag.
Yeah, and he
like, honestly, he was the audience
I was playing for and I nailed it.
He thought it was the best.
Would it have been enough to just get his reaction
and buy the blueberries and throw them out
as soon as he got out of the store?
Or just start whipping the reusable bag
against the ground in front of them.
Just dang!
Hope you like jam, old man.
Have you read the
classic children's book Blueberries for Sal?
No.
Is it sad?
No, it's about
a mother going out with her
child, Sal.
To get some blueberries for canning.
This is like a famous kid's book that I never heard in my childhood.
I've never heard of this either.
I only, as a parent, read it.
And then there's a mother bear with her child who is, they're eating blueberries to fatten up for the winter.
And then, oh, the human mother turns around and there's a black bear baby behind her.
And, oh, the bear turns around and there's a human baby behind her.
Oh, so they switch babies.
They switch babies and they got gotta get back to each other.
Oh.
That's not very realistic.
No, there would be a lot more
bloodshed.
Oh, it looks very cute.
It's very cute, very well drawn.
Yeah, I like these drawings.
Hmm.
I feel like
there's a few kids books that I read with my kids i'm like oh
i wish i read this as a kid i'd be like i'd get a tattoo of that so having no tattoos
same i just had that thought which felt such like an empty thought i went oh that'd be a nice tattoo
yeah if i had some kind of sentimental feeling towards this sure if i was i don't lean on them over here there's this one i've seen so
many tattoos it's like this kind of stylized hand either holding an envelope oh i have that
dave has it yeah he's got it in between his shoulder blades um it sort of represents uh
my spine in between my shoulder but anyways i saw a couple of people with this and then I saw it on some wrapping paper
and I was like,
aha.
Oh,
that's great.
Does it feel bad when your tattoo becomes basic?
Probably.
Also,
have you seen somebody who just has like one area of their body super
tattooed instead of spreading it out over the
whole like just one arm one arm or one leg i think is quite strange one leg is wild maybe i'll do
that do one leg yeah you should get a sleeve well i guess it's not sleeve of its leg but just half
all upper thigh but dense dense dense like a big band around your thigh so when you're wearing
shorts you can
kind of peek it you know what i really it's so pale up there i could do i could do some real
damage i could really it's a beautiful canvas yeah do you think tattoo artists when they're
doing a first-time tattoo like that's they're into in a big way this is something that ray happens
because it's fresh right like a fresh loaf of bread.
Yeah.
It smells like a fresh loaf of bread.
Getting a tattoo.
Just like you know what else.
You know what else.
What else smells like that? Yeah.
Oh, it smells like a big bowl of ramen.
Tastes like hot ramen on a summer's evening i think that's maybe the closest we've gotten i think i was gonna say well i think yeah that's
kind of got more of a rich umami um kind of quality to it that's what they do
you know what my two dogs were fighting over a ramen packet today we don't know where they got
it but we we were like oh this must be heaven for dogs oh that would taste so good as a dog
yeah oh my god and just like uh just the crinkle of it is probably like a fun sensation
oh man that's great tastes like strawberry
um and the other thing i did okay okay was uh our guest that we just had on mike patterson was in a
film new predator film called prey and i watched it and it was fucking great
it was so good yeah i was yeah i was surprised how many people i've heard talk about it yeah i
was like oh this is the millionth predator movie and it's on a streaming service i just assume
people are like oh who cares but people are like I was excited about it and it's great.
It is great.
And it's,
it's like back 300 years ago.
So it's a Comanche tribe is being stalked by predator.
And how long has predator been around?
Yeah.
What is predator?
Where does predator come from?
He comes from a planet of predators which they visit in the
movie predators um and that's their that their whole thing is being a predator and they don't
want to they don't want to take any breaks they're just like they don't write songs they're not
they don't have hobbies their whole thing is being a predator um they wear a mask and when they take the mask off
they've got a crab face got a face like okay and the first one was one of the big uh hits for
arnold schwarzenegger he was in the very first one okay and him and who else was it uh jesse
the body ventura jesse the body ventura and uh what's his name the guy for he was on
rest of development telling everybody how you make a stew um what the hell was his name
he also played apollo creed in uh oh um yeah him him he's what is his name
well michael p jordan was cre. So was it Carl Weathers?
Carl Weathers, I think.
I was thinking Michael A. Jordan.
Yeah.
Anyways, it was a huge hit.
And then they made a sequel starring Danny Glover, which is a bit of a step down macho wise.
Right.
And then they did Alien vs. Predator, which was very bad.
And then they made a sequel to it. Because I guess it made money.
And, yeah, all they do is be
predators. Although, I feel like
a human and a predator work together
to get rid of Alien.
Well, I mean, yeah, aren't we the biggest predators?
Yeah, sure. Strange
bad fellas. You know?
Now, on the, I was going to say the island
of predators, on the planet of
predators, what are they going for?
Is there some kind of weak, bullied
kind of prey?
That's the only predator movie I've seen
is the one where they go with
Topher Grayson.
Adrian Brody to the planet of predators.
I think they hunt
all sorts of different species
from different planets.
But why were the humans going
to Predator? Just to have
the home team advantage.
Just do it for the fans, you know?
But
yeah, Mike Patterson's in it.
He plays a fur trapper.
And it was great. It was so great.
It's worth checking out.
Yeah, it's a lot of fun.
And also, like, Predator has the ability to be invisible.
He's invisible, and he can see.
No fair.
But it's not invisible and invisible.
You can see him, but you can see through him.
Why does Predator come here?
To beat the world's best warrior and defeat them.
He always takes the skull and the spine
of whoever he's killed and puts it on his
belt. My god, it must be
so jingly jangly. That's a jangly belt.
He's like a janitor.
It's so fun to go see a movie that's like
an event and that other people are excited about.
Yeah. Or did you watch it on TV?
I did. I watched it streaming style.
Open streaming style open streaming style correct i'm setting you up and you did it um do you guys want to move on to overheards okay oh no business yeah business first
hey everybody uh last week you may have noticed a little hiccup in the show where we said,
let's do some business, and then we didn't do any business.
Yeah.
We meant to, though.
We were well-intentioned.
Having meant to is worth everything.
That's right.
The road to heaven is paid with good intentions.
That's absolutely what the saying is.
But we have a Jumbotron this week.
It's for someone named Heather from someone named Mike.
Dave, would you do the honors of telling the people what's going on with these?
Telling them what for?
Yeah.
Well, I sure could.
And I absolutely have the right tab open. Oh, here. I can tell you. No, I got it. And I absolutely have the right tab open.
Oh, here.
I can.
No, I got it.
Okay.
Sitting back.
Mike says, happy birthday.
Back in July to my best wife, Heather.
Between us, we've hit the overheard trifecta, an email, a phone call and a live show,
but we've never had a jumbotron that injustice ends today.
Snuggle bunnies forever.
Mike.
Nice.
Nice.
So,
um,
cute.
If you read,
well,
yeah,
I'm a cute reader.
And,
uh,
well,
he was late with the birthday because it was back in july and we were
late with the jumbo and so we're just paying it forward now back to the program if anyone out
there wants a jumbotron message like that one go to maximumfund.org slash jumbotron now back
to the program overheards hi everyone i'm everyone, I'm Anna McLeod.
And I'm Alexis B. Preston.
And we host a show called Comfort Creatures.
The show for every animal lover, be it a creature of scales, six legs, fur, feathers, or fiction.
Comfort Creatures is a show for people who prefer their friends to have paws instead of hands.
Unless they are raccoon hands, that is okay.
That is absolutely okay, yeah.
Yes.
Every Thursday, we will be talking to guests about their pets,
learning about pets in history, art, and even fiction.
Plus, we'll discover differences between pet ownership across the pond.
It's going to be a hoot on Maximum Fun.
Hi, everybody.
My name is Justin McElroy.
And I'm Sydney McElroy.
Dr. Sydney McElroy. And I'm Sydney McElroy. Dr. Sydney McElroy.
That is true.
It's important in this context because we host a medical history podcast called Sawbones.
Oh, I thought we were going to, we shouldn't have worked on that.
Sawbones.
Sawbones isn't afraid to ask the hard-hitting questions like,
are vaccines as safe and reliable as they want us to believe?
Yes.
Do I have to get a flu shot?
Yes.
Okay.
Is science a miracle?
No.
We have a lot of great history for you and a lot of laughs.
And sometimes the history is so bad that there's no laughs.
But you'll learn something.
You'll feel something.
And it's always Sawbones.
That's right.
Every week on MaximumFun.org.
Overheard.
Overheard's a segment of the show that's near and dear to all of your hearts.
That is about hearing things out there, seeing things out there, noticing those little crinkles in life and keeping them and then bringing them here and sharing them.
And we always like to start with the guest.
Kayla, will you please?
I would be honored.
I am excited about this one.
It's really tender and did make me start to cry.
Oh, wow.
Okay.
So I went to have dinner with my friend erica before we went
saw lady gaga um and i was sitting she was running a bit late and i was sitting next to this table
that was like a set of grandparents and a teen boy and let me tell you this is one of the most
tender teen boys i've ever seen in my life he was life really cute um he was just kind of he was kind
of telling different stories and being sweet and then their food arrived and it was this um
i think they call it like an eastern mediterranean restaurant but kind of a fancy restaurant
and they all their dishes came and it was like a full cooked fish and like all these different
dips and fun things but they also got fries and then the teen kind of took a fry and leaned back and went,
can you believe I made you order fries in a place like this?
Kind of cool,
cool line to the grandparents.
And then he was trying to keep the conversation ball kind of rolling.
And then he went,
actually fries are the food that I consume the most in my life.
The kid's never going to make it out of high school.
They're going to eat him alive.
Like a fry.
And then he was going,
wow,
this is a really unique aioli.
It's like,
I've never had an aioli that wasn't unique
they're two are the same but he was not like he didn't look like a dirt he was like like
a blue jays cap like he didn't look like someone you'd bully you know but he was just being really
take a teen boy to three fancy restaurants and watch his life change yeah well this okay and
then this is where i started to cry where he he he said to his
grandparents he was like you know not many kids my age get to experience something like this and
i really thank you oh okay so i am starting to cry and then so nice he said i feel inspired by this okay so i'm dead wow you're dead already yeah i'm fully crying oh wow and i'm like
this is such a nice relationship so i go to the bathroom the grandma comes in and i take a moment
to be like this is maybe too much to say something to her or maybe this will make her night i i was
like i just need to say i'm sorry i was eavesdropping a bit but your grandson is like so sweet and like
clearly like loves you guys it is really nice and then she goes i appreciate that so much he's our
step grandson we've only known him for three years wow wow they're getting on like a house on fire
this dynamic is it's perfect yeah wow it was yeah the grandson you didn't know that you needed
shows up and uh yeah blows the door off the place now your real grandsons feel like a real piece of
shit i thought i thought well i on either side his real grandparents and the real it was the
last thing i'll say that he said was he went really like five years ago i don't think i would
have liked any of this stuff then she went well five years ago i think that he said was he went, really? Like five years ago? I don't think I would have liked any of this stuff.
Then she went, well, five years ago, I think you were 11.
And he went, yeah, I was pretty picky.
Really coming to terms with who he is.
Oh, God.
It was so nice.
So sweet.
I loved him.
When you start liking food, the whole world opens up.
I think that's part of what I related to
because I love eating. I love food so much.
Seeing this boy be like, wow, these tastes.
I was like, wow, he's really
changing right now.
Wow.
Maybe you're seeing the birth of that.
Maybe that's Harry Styles' problem.
He's a picky eater.
He's only had two different foods.
Strawberries and macaroni.
It's like chicken fingers and macaroni
i just want buttered noodles
it's a hot dog
um dave do you have an overheard i was uh similarly at a restaurant it was uh my anniversary the other day congrats
definitely poison cake out and uh abby and i went to one of our favorite restaurants we hadn't been to in quite a while since before the pandemic i think and uh it was well we were
it was a fancy it's a fancy place okay okay it's not so fancy you don't have to break the bank
right um you know if you just get bread yeah all bread we'll just have the garlic knots again and that was hyven decker's joke he looks at the menu
he says i will have the add pickles um and we uh so uh but the people sitting next to us
were there was just this loud woman who was just like she was the kind of the third wheel with another
couple um and just when people are like i get that uh some people are rich totally can they shut up
about it and uh so this woman was like she's talking about this restaurant that we were at. She's like, the wine is actually decent here.
And like anyone who's like too good for whatever wine they have in a nice restaurant.
Such a fake thing to say.
Yeah.
And then eventually her partner showed up with their own wine that like, I guess they do some kind of bottle, uh, cork service where you can bring your own wine.
Bring it out with a sparkler on top.
Yay.
Uh,
and she,
uh,
she was talking about how they,
um,
Oh,
our visa bill every month is $20,000.
I don't know why.
It's just very annoying.
Like this,
this was an annoying person
Yeah
But then she started talking
Is Cactus Club a thing out there in Toronto?
I wish
No but I know about it
Cactus Club is sort of a
Not fancy
Casual
Like a franchise where they make the girls wear black skirts
Yeah
I was going to say they're kind of known for
You know good looking staff.
Yeah.
And, but she was like, just talking about, she just started, it was weird because she was like, too good for this restaurant we were at.
But then she went off on how, oh, me and my office, they love us at the Cactus Club downtown.
And she was so like, like oh we go every day
and we go every day they all know us at cactus they and she just started calling it cactus
oh yeah the cactus on dunsmuir and uh and berard yeah oh they're so nice down there
the uh so like the cactus is my logo. This was an annoying woman.
Being annoying.
You know, she was pretty picky a few years ago.
That shit.
It's beyond annoying.
It's like it stresses me out hearing someone need to kind of express that part of themselves so badly.
Yeah.
So we canceled our anniversary.
Yeah. Yeah. part of themselves so bad yeah so we um canceled our anniversary yeah yeah we'll take our escrow go to go please sorry you want to take that again nope i loved that thank you
um my overheard also comes we ate so much oh we were so full by the end. The waiter was very pushy about us getting dessert.
With like intent.
Yeah, we were like.
We've got pudding in the fridge back there if you want.
Yeah, we were freezing pudding like Kayla taught us.
And we were like, we were too full for dessert.
And he's like, I gotcha.
I'll just tell you what we have.
Nice.
Yeah.
Because there's a
gun to my head is he being a bit sneaky like yeah i know we're all full but uh dessert is fun we
didn't finish our food so we because we're full we're not just sick yeah yeah the food is up here
in my assault like i'm not i know i just wanted to tell you we got a few gelatos. Could maybe put that fire out in your throat, don't you think?
Anyway, go on, boy.
Oh, I was out on a patio, as I do all summer long.
Patio, that's the place for me.
And it was a man describing to another man that he saw sheep racing at the rodeo that he had been to.
man that he saw sheep racing at the rodeo
that he had been to.
And if you've ever seen sheep racing, it's a kid
sitting on the back of a sheep
riding around like crazy
and it's a hockey helmet.
And that's what the guy said.
He goes, and then they wear helmets. And the other guy
says, that doesn't seem fair.
To whom?
Yeah, exactly.
Doesn't seem fair that he gets to wear a helmet with the sheep helmet the sheep doesn't get a helmet yeah or maybe he's like a rodeo purist and thinks it should be a cowboy hat or does he think
that the like if everyone's wearing a helmet it's fair right yeah that's true so one does he think
that the does he think that the sheep races are actually
like rams like
smashing into each other?
Well, it's no fair that
he gets a helmet.
Yeah, that's true.
He also gets to wear
a mouth guard.
Yeah, that's not fair either.
Yeah, I don't know
what he meant,
but I love that he said it.
I love that man.
I hope to see him
in another pack.
I definitely when someone's telling me about a thing in a bar and someone who I don't know very well, I struggle to find the right thing to say.
That doesn't seem fair.
Just a nothing statement coming at you.
It's like, what is his point?
Am I reinforcing his point by saying that doesn't seem fair?
Or am I?
No, that's definitely the way to go.
Will he respect me?
I say this.
This is kind of a tough thing to say.
When's it my turn to talk about being full?
I'm full.
I'm full.
Oh, I feel like such a fat pig.
I'm so full.
Do you think I'm fat?
That's what Hulk Hogan said in the sex tape.
I eat too much.
I feel like a pig.
I want to see it again.
I saw it, but I know I don't need to, but I want to see him say that he's too full.
It's so nasty.
I mean, Harry Styles could take a page out of his book.
That's how you really get visceral.
It feels like being
too full like a fucking pig just just him rubbing his belly too like oh okay too much i feel like
anyway you ready is that enough foreplay for you?
Me talking about being full?
Oh, do you want me to list all the things that I ate?
Well, half a lasagna.
Now we have overheard sent in by people all over the place.
If you want to send one in, you can send it into spy at maximumfund.org.
This first one comes from Catherine from
Edmonton.
This is an overheard from years back that just came
back to me. My brother was like
three or four, and we'd been swimming in a little
pool in the backyard. We couldn't take
his swimsuit off because the drawstring had
somehow looped around his dick.
My mom...
Oh, no,
you lose the deck.
Oh,
no.
That's what they said.
Is that?
I think we're just going to have to cut it.
And the brother started crying.
He said,
no,
please,
please don't cut off my penis.
Oh, man.
That's perfect.
That's as good as it gets, right?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, man.
Oh, no.
Do you remember?
I don't know if you heard this song.
I've heard it about a teacher and I've also heard about Hitler.
But I'll sing the teacher version.
Okay.
Whistle while you work.
My teacher's such a jerk.
She cut my weenie.
What a meanie.
Now it doesn't work.
Oh, I know the Hitler version.
I know the Hitler.
Did Hitler cut his weenie as well?
Mussolini cut his weenie.
Oh, sure.
The whole gang was invited.
Oh, sure.
Yeah.
So of course he only had one ball.
That's right.
Who did?
Hitler.
Oh, if he had had a second ball And someone respected his art
Yeah
I don't know how accurate that
Song was
Yeah
You know what
Maybe we joke about Mussolini too much
Well we do have this segment.
The next one comes from
Jenny in London.
It's hot from the British press. I saw this
headline and immediately thought of you.
Sainsbury's shoppers fall
to their knees when they see the
astronomical price of fish fingers.
That's good copy. That's good copy.
That is good copy.
That's good copy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Fault to their needs.
The image is very good.
Fish fingers are how expensive?
Why, have you forsaken us, Sainsbury's?
I'm going to John Lewis.
I'm going to Tesco.
Box and Spox.
Anyways, that's what's going on in London.
This is our world report wrapping up.
Oh, boy.
You ever have a fish finger?
No.
Not you.
I love a fish finger, yeah.
To this day?
Well, I don't think I've had one in a long time.
Yeah, I can't imagine.
This is like Captain Highliner?
Is that the...
Yeah.
Have you?
That seems like something you'd feed a kid.
No.
My kids are weirded out by fish.
Chicken fingers, yeah.
Sure.
I was two as a kid.
I think that that's why I feel like now I'd like to re-approach.
I respect it.
Yeah.
It's a nicer texture.
It's less dense.
I do make the kids a nice,
I,
I crush up some,
some chicken fingers and ceviche fire.
Nice.
It's not good.
It's very good for them.
Yeah.
It's like fish fingers.
Uh,
this last one comes from Terrence from Vancouver.
All over her. just now walking to the
pharmacy a six or seven year old talking to his mom and sounding very exasperated
he said you already changed today how many changes do you need how many changes will you need in my
life oh no yeah this is a kid who's very confused about how many times you got to change in a day.
Although I keep it to one.
You change once a day?
Yeah.
Once every top of the day.
I like to put on.
Oh, okay.
But you change into pajamas.
Oh no.
Yes.
Get on my executive pajamas monogram.
I do a, in the summer, I don't, if I go to the office, I wear pants.
But when I get home, I change to shorts.
Ah, okay.
All right.
Here's a question.
Let's say you wake up and you put on a fresh pair of underwear, of course.
But then you have a shower, you're going back for new underwear.
Are you returning to the underwear of the day?
Boy, yeah. No, I definitely
see the dilemma here of
you've worn,
you've only worn this underwear for
an hour, but it's underwear
that belongs to last night's body.
That's true.
It's got a bit of watermelon sugar.
I'm
sorry. I'm sorry I'm sorry
don't be sorry
this is a really important conversation to have
part of me
I'm a little torn on this
much like my underwear
yeah
I definitely can see both sides.
Was Natalie Ambrugula's song Torn?
Was that about underwear?
Well, she was lying naked on the floor.
So she's probably torn about what to do.
She's gotten out of the shower,
tumbled onto the ground,
chained herself.
I can't quite remember the lyrics.
Oh, let's go through them all.
I thought I saw a man
he was something he was something he was dignified yes he was dignified show me what it was to cry
no there's nothing there no no anyway in addition to overhears that are written we also accept your
phone calls if you want to call us our phone number is 1-844- 779-7631.
That's one. Ugh.
SpyPod 1.
How many costume changes in
that Lady Gaga show? Holy cow.
Oh, God. So many.
She was constantly doing it. It was amazing.
Like these people have.
Hi, Dave
Graham and guests. This is
Sarah calling from Lansing, Michigan with an overheard.
I just finished a vet appointment with my dog and the people coming after me had the two cutest little pug puppies that you've ever seen.
And they walk in and the vet says, so we're here for some vaccinations.
so we're here for some vaccinations.
And the woman says, yeah, so I was under the impression that they had some vaccinations, but when I called up the breeder, she said that she doesn't believe in vaccinations.
So, okay, and I'm pretty upset about it.
By that time I was done checking out, so I didn't hear any more.
Off I go.
So she doesn't believe in
vaccines for humans or dogs.
Yeah, that's a weird one.
Because it's
also like,
you know how people were like, oh, they're
going to vaccinate you so they can put a
chip in you and track you. Well, they do
that with dogs.
That's true.
Yeah. put a chip in you and track you well they they do that with dogs yeah that's uh do they do that is that just standard now putting the microchip in wherever oh yeah i don't even think they tattoo their ears anymore that was always a weird
kind of thing that yeah they all got little. My dogs both have, when you get a microchip, you also get like a QR code dog tag.
So the person, like, it used to be like, oh, I found this stray dog and I am, I like have to bring him to the, back to the vet and they like scan him through the system.
How do they do the microchip?
They use a, they do it like I have to use the self-checkout on this dog tell us how we did
today and that then they can contact the owner but now if you have the qr code on them they just
scan that and they have all of his information wow have you ever been at a self uh checkout
and every other person it's like just off by a second when they're saying like...
Oh, yeah. And you're kind of racing with them.
Yeah.
Oh, man. That is a weird sensation.
New to our generation.
Mm-hmm. Absolutely.
Next phone call.
Hey, SPY. This is Mark in Seattle calling in with an overheard just at the farmer's market.
And overheard a woman behind me say, I'm a fiend for parasols.
Thanks, bye.
An absolute fiend.
Wow.
Gotta have them.
How annoying.
How annoying.
To just be going through the world
just saying stuff
like that
oh how delightful I'm a fiend
for them no friends
no friends yeah
except on the one day that the horse races
happen that oh sure
twirling about yeah
you did some good face work yeah
thank you yeah
although she's easy to buy for twirling about. Yeah. You did some good face work there. Thank you. Yeah.
Although she's easy to buy for.
Right.
Yeah.
She's a fiend
for these things.
Yeah.
Oh,
she's got a birthday
coming up.
Well,
I guess I'll give her
a parasol.
That is true.
I'd love a friend
with a distinct.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean,
I'll get her a gift receipt
because she probably
has this one already.
Yeah.
If you're going to buy
something for like a steampunk
or something, you know that that's what they like. You get them
a couple of cogs, something like that.
Some new cogs.
Where is that? Get him an owl
with a clock in his eye or something.
And here's
your final phone call.
Hey, Dave, Graham,
impossible guest. My name is
Graham. I was driving through
Saskatchewan, and I
had to stop in a small town
called Keniston.
And as I
looked up and down the street
I saw this old man. He was wearing
a western shirt, jeans,
and an old trucker
hat, and what looked like suspenders as
he got closer i realized that the suspenders were a bungee cord around his neck attached to two
carabiners on his belt loops and i thought it was effective this guy rules that guy's cool
oh man don't you think that a bungee cord would like really ride them up That's great. This guy rules. That guy's cool. Oh, man.
Don't you think that a bungee cord would, like, really ride them up?
Oh.
Yeah, I mean, it depends on the length.
That's true.
Yeah.
Or how much you've worked it in.
You know, you've got to take that bungee cord and kind of get it on the knee and kind of
pull it further.
Loosen it.
He has the carabiners on his belt.
Like the belt loop?
Yeah.
Do you remember how old you were when you first heard Karabiner?
It feels to me like a famous word.
There's something Karabiner felt like a word that I couldn't even know about.
But I know I learned it young.
But there was something a bit special about the word Karabiner.
I think I learned it in college at some, like, I think I learned carabiner and lanyard maybe in the same two days.
Lanyards on the same level to me as carabiner.
There's something a bit shiny about those words.
It was maybe like college, what do you call it when you.
Experiment.
Frosh week.
Yeah.
Experiment.
What's the word for when they kind of give you a tour oh um orient orientation yeah okay the carabiner is a thing carabiner is like for
mountain climbing yeah which i never heard about growing up because there's not a lot of mountain
climbing up my way i we i had a i knew a lot of mountain climbers, but they all died
because none of them knew what a carabiner was.
Oh, no.
I think they would tell you that the first day of...
They all have seen Cliffhanger.
That's the big mountain movie.
Yeah, well, lanyard.
I'm glad I know what it is.
I think I learned lanyard quite late in life.
Yeah.
I mean, it's... But you have lanyards from comedy festivals comedy festivals yeah but it wasn't something
that i like as a kid knew what a lanyard was yeah um no i had to grow up and uh put childish things
away kind of sad isn't it yeah to learn lanyards I actually got this lanyard
From my step grandma
I learned all about lanyards
From these
Wonderful step grandparents
Who
You know
They don't know me from Adam
They open their heart
And they open their
Eastern Mediterranean restaurant
Yeah
Cut to me
Sobbing
Approaching an old
Approaching an old woman
In the bathroom.
Excuse me.
Your life is so beautiful.
No, it's just normal.
Don't put that on me.
It's a bit twee how you're being.
Well, that brings us to the end of this podcast.
Kayla, thank you so much for being our guest.
Oh, my goodness.
Thanks for having me.
I hope you had fun.
Oh, we had a blast.
We had a blast.
You know what?
It's nice to see that concern from a guest.
Too often, they're like, I don't care how you feel about me.
Yeah, that's true.
I don't care how I look.
And they say so at the end of the show.
I don't give a shit.
I don't care about you, and I don't care about you. Let, that's true. And they say so at the end of the show. I don't give a shit. I don't care about you, and I don't care
about you.
Let me plug my Twitter.
It's 2022, and I need
new followers.
Well, yeah, thank you so much, and thank you
out there for listening. Thank you.
Caleb, before we say goodbye,
enjoy the ceviche.
I'll send the two of you a picture of it
when it's done
and then you can see what I've done.
Is this tonight's meal or is this a future meal?
Tonight's meal. I prepped it all.
I had a late lunch.
It's 10 to 9 here.
So I'm going to
get into it after this. Oh, I can't wait.
I can't wait.
Oh, wait.
I think my phone's ringing.
My new ringtone is going off.
Oh, shit.
Here it comes.
And in case you're wondering if that was a ruined microphone sound, that was actually Dave's.
That's the ringtone.
That's the thing.
If you know, you know. Okay.
I-Y-K-Y-K.
Well, thank you so much for listening.
Take good care of yourself.
Make yourself a ceviche.
Let everybody that can, should,
know so can't. Life is a ceviche.
Dream about it. Life is a ceviche. You never know how
briny it's gonna get.
Thank you so much. Goodbye.
Join us next week for another episode of
Stop Podcasting Yourself is what I meant. MaximumFun.org
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