Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 754 - Mark Chavez
Episode Date: August 30, 2022Improviser Mark Chavez returns to talk babies, Harry Potter, and moshing....
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Hi, he's Dave Shumka, and he's Graham Clark, and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself.
Woo!
Hello, everybody, and welcome to episode number 754 of Stop Podcasting Yourself.
My name is Graham Clark, and with me as always is a man who, um, uh, well, jeez, I don't know.
Um, if there was, uh, anybody that could have a calendar that featured 12 months of him, it would be Dave Shumka.
What's that supposed to mean i know you're like okay say it say it you're so photogenic you could fill up a monthly count oh i could fill
out there's 12 possible photos dave's yeah i'm not such a narcissist that i would need just
constantly look at my own face oh no no no, no. No, that you can pull off like a fireman count.
Not necessarily fireman calendar
quality, but you know,
certainly not. Why not?
What's not quality? Will you get
greased? I'll get greased.
Would you get greased?
Look, you have a better chance of
like,
I mean, I'm already pretty greased.
So can we, let's just do this while I'm already greased and fine.
You just, let's just get this over with.
Get out the hoses.
Let me put my, uh, my big old boots on and, uh, and just the helmet, the helmet and the boots. Everything else. The helmet and the boots and just the hose, you know, suggestively over to indicate how you say my crank.
My horn.
Our guest today, a favorite here on the podcast, returning guest.
He's a comedian.
He is a writer.
He is an improviser with the Sunday Service.
It's Mark Chavez, everybody.
Hi, everyone. Oh, a favorite, really? I'll take that. writer he is an improviser with the sunday service it's mark chavez everybody hi everyone
oh a favorite really i'll take that oh i would of course what a nice thing to say
um we have you on and and we love it and it's our favorite thing i love and we feel you deserve it
so thank you so much uh it's been it's been a little while though um yes you have been on in the zoom in the um
in the covet era the remote era it was the very very beginning of the covet era and then i haven't
yeah and i haven't i mean i've seen you both since the one time we re-released video of this
show was when you were on and we were it was when someone had an overheard where they someone thought the movie was called
it was the movie philadelphia and they got everything wrong about it
oh yeah that rings a bell first it's a movie about a person who does not have any illness
whatsoever no it was like he had vd and it was tom cruise and and it was called pennsylvania or something i forget
vd in pennsylvania yep yep um mark do we get to know us yes yay
get to know us he doesn't usually just ask the guest about but mark's an old hand at this so i
he's got all corners covered um mark it's been uh it's been a chunk of time and i think in the
meantime you've created a bit of a different life for yourself yeah yeah so in since i've spoken to you um i i uh moved which is the smaller thing uh here but
still here in vancouver and then uh i had a baby um and uh his name is cosmo and yeah he's cute
it's been so long he's 14 months old already so the we've missed so much like do you want me to
just do a day by day people love that right yeah do the calendar i mean you do first i want to hear about this move let's uh let's talk all about this move
yeah we left the densest most busy part of or it made me i don't know if the most busy part
very dense part of the city uh the west end and i moved all the way out to almost outside of the
city still inside vancouver but yes you gotta be just it's absolute
you'll lose tons of social status the moment you leave the city oh man you can take an evo there
because it's just yeah there's a there's a big line right on boundary people park their evos and
then just walk they take their they get their backpacks and they just start traveling yeah
it's crazy like there's this invisible shield um that's where i am so there's
lots of evils to get to take back into the city uh yeah and you know um it was a coincidental move
um but it worked out well coincidental in that we uh needed you know we need more space um but yeah
and we and now we i couldn't imagine raising this child in our uh we were in a studio for about 10 years studio apartment so uh but like i think at the time i uh you had moved there because you guys were gonna get
a dog yeah that's right we wanted to get a dog now we don't we still don't have a dog
usually you go dog first baby but then yeah yeah easy now let me tell you someone who has two of both dogs easy
yeah but aren't you kind of dealing with with dog problems right now i remember you we were
talking about it and you're like i get somebody has to be home with the dogs or else it's just
yeah well that was a just a few weeks right right but now uh the dogs are fine and uh can't say the
same about the kids.
Yeah.
Yeah. So what's it like, Dave?
Like what's, what do I have to look forward to?
Just lots of, well, more of the same, a word a day.
Yeah.
It's a word a day.
Well, get your kids one of those word a day calendars and they'll be on their way.
We have a far side calendar.
So they mostly, they mostly want to talk about
women with beehive haircuts little nerds turtles deer are big one nerdlings um yeah cosmo my boy
he says uh he says all done and he kind of just uses it for any occasion and it usually works
like um yeah like yeah when like he's done with something if he's done being held he'll say
all done his little hand signal for it um last night we turned off his sound a little way exactly
like little hands up twisting at the wrists um that's what i do at a restaurant too i just push
my plate you go twisty rusty and then the waiter comes up says oh sir are you all done oh yes okay take that one all done more yeah he invented his own uh hand signal for pick me up which is the same one for put me down
which is just this it's just like his fist kind of moving up and down okay that's like the jackoff
it's no it's yeah in a different hand position. That's right.
Well, unless you're standing at a perpendicular angle.
Sorry, your window's cut off a little bit.
I'm just going to, I can't, I got to take my word for it that it's the jackass motion.
I've got to take my own word on this one.
Yeah, so that's been my uh that's been my experience i'm just the first
year was um uh incredibly uh confronting and strange and uh scary uh and i feel like i'm
coming out of that fog a little bit so it's been more fun um yeah well it's a because dave knows
this you guys can bond over this uh what is the first year like is it just uh
insanity or i definitely remember like six months in thinking oh this has to get easier otherwise
people would only ever have one child yeah that's true yeah it it and you the first three months
you don't remember everyone i talked to when i was in the first three months they're like i don't remember what we were doing like everybody is like you
it's i think it's just a nature thing they kind of make you forget that um right uh because you
don't sleep and you're just kind of like up all night and doing and like every hour is different
and and then you ever get nap trapped nap trapped you mean like what's that i don't i've never heard the
term actually but is that because you you you have a nap schedule you have to kind of adhere to and
you can't leave because no i mean like you're physically the baby is falling asleep on you and
you can't get up 100 yeah yeah i've been nap trapped many times sometimes willingly i actually
like that yeah it rules i mean that's something
i miss yeah what else what other terminology would you guys have that that uh your your single
o's uh confirmed bachelors wouldn't uh wouldn't know like nap trap that's a good one um there any
others that spring to mind uh uh back milk yeah back milk yeah tell me tell me again what back milk is about
front milk the first milk the baby gets is more watery and they kind of want to they feed until
they get the oh boy if i'm getting this wrong it's really embarrassing but it as they the longer
they feed like in a session the back the milk that comes out is has more nutrients and so you kind of have
to like oh i see them to oh in a session yeah i think it's in i know that like as the baby gets
older the the feedings get shorter and so the the milk is more like nutrient packed oh like it's got
everything you need for a eight month old kid and it's advertising uh yeah it's muscle milk i i love that it's called a
session yeah it's like it's a i sit in i'm a studio session yeah
just go ahead and feed that baby and one and two
sessions are weird i would anytime the term session is used i feel that way it can it just always sounds a little off
um i'm trying to think of other uh other terms uh um i remember all the ones from like
baby the labor the delivery and like the month leading up in the month after i remember like
meconium and oxytocin yeah wait wait what's meconium fill me in this weird car poop
is the uh yeah i it looks so when i when i first when cosmo was born which i can tell you about
because i witnessed the thing um but i changed uh the nurse kind of walked me through changing him
for the first time and she's like this is what you do it's like oh this is the meconium and she took off his diaper and it looked like somebody took like a giant like snowball
sized thing of tar and just like crap like i don't know where it came from just like crammed it in
the diaper it was so much so it's like that it's like these first hoops they do uh and the nurse
puts it in there as a test that's what it is it's a star and she's just
like oh let's see you change that diaper now it's actually another you're terrified yeah yeah and
it's and it's something that if and i was warned i was told about it but if it's something you
didn't necessarily like expect it's it's incredible to behold like is this nor it's like it feels very
abnormal yeah and you just wanted to be if i recall you wanted to be in the waiting room smoking a cigar yeah well i brought a thing of whiskey and i had
my carton of cigarettes um i had a suit full suit uh yeah full suit and fedora yeah you were playing
poker with some dogs yeah and uh i expected a doctor to come out and say uh mr ch, it's a boy. Congratulations. Yay!
But instead, I was in the room while it was happening.
It was a C-section, and when they asked if I would like to present the gender, the sex, what is it?
What's the difference?
Anyway, say if it was a boy or a girl.
Present the penis. The penis or the vagina and um the uh they that's your first quiz right there out of the gate what is this i was
like i was like what if i don't what if i because if there's just a there's so much information
coming into it i was like what if i did for some reason don't understand what's happening uh but it was very clear um so they're like we're gonna have a
birthday soon because like as they were cutting in and every you know there was getting really
close and i heard him scream and do you mind if i cut in the doctors had come announce so i and i was sitting like by uh anita's head that's my
partner's name not some random like just kind of talking to her and then i reached look up over the
the sheet and it's just like there's a baby with an umbilical cord that i followed where the umbilical cord went it's just into this like bloody just crazy yeah open person like it was madness and then i looked up and saw cosmo and
he saw he was a boy said it's a boy then he peed right when i said it um and just like boys
yeah i've got two girls no p for us interesting yeah it's a big difference uh between that's how you know that's the that's the other
thing to look for who's being yeah wherever the fuck they want
right that is the binary piece wherever they want or it doesn't that's true um and like you
how do you here's the question how the fuck do you drive home after that that you drive home
wild so we were in the hospital for like a two maybe a day or two days and then they're like
okay bye and they they put the baby you have a do you have to bring the car seat in like they tell
you in our little burden class like make sure you have a car seat make sure you have a do you have to bring the car seat in like they tell you in our little
burden class like make sure you have a car seat make sure you have like all this stuff because
you can forget a million things yeah so you have your little car seat they pack the baby in and
they shove diapers uh between his head and the headrest because he was too small which is a very
common thing to do just like all these diapers like keeping his head firm and they and then you just suddenly you just
take this kid home and that was one of the most intense driving experiences i've ever had is
driving from and it wasn't even that far but it's like from the hospital to home but was it from the
hospital isn't it uh i'm didn't need to stay in the back seat or was she a shotgun no i think she
100 was in the back seat but but uh and then we still do that uh she'll still be in the backseat with him did you stop for slurpees or anything
yeah we got we went through the car wash
got the car wash i just want i want the baby to see yeah how much fun a car wash is went
through the mcdonald's drive-thru got the order wrong had to go back around i would look i want the cosmo to see me yell at the manager no because he's gonna think that this
is fine yeah he does well i don't i wouldn't you want me to look like a pussy in front of my
newborn child and she's like yes yes i do um uh yeah so that and then then you're just home and you have this kid and people come over and
want to say hi which is really nice and bring food it's really great that's nice what was the
what is the best food that you got brought in um oh somebody made this amazing seven layer dip
but she also put it in this nice dish that she was like and keep the dish and uh we still have that nice
we think about it every time i see it it's so nice i should warn you the dish cursed yeah it's a curse
you keep it if you cook anything that isn't seven layer dip in this casserole you will turn into a
seven layer dip now can you name the seven layers yes what are they um it's a sloth gluttony beans guacamole
cheese yep salsa uh-huh sour cream which i do not like okay um ketchup
uh barbecue sauce yeah barbecue oh i think they sprinkle uh like olives and uh green onions on
there and those aren't full layers count as layers right yeah that's not fair that's but then how do
you how the hell do you get through all those layers doesn't your chip what kind of chip gets
in all there you gotta get toasty those scoops yeah you just you just use like um like uh straw like uh what if like a fried onion straw
like long no i don't know it's too many layers have you never had a seven layer dip graham
no oh it's like uh is there anything in there you're allergic to i don't think so
no i just have never like been to where one
would be like a a grocery store game or yeah i don't know about them this one was good i think
she didn't actually put sour cream in it the whole thing was hot so it didn't it didn't have something
that shouldn't wow i don't think there was even guacamole it was like some sort of crazy dip but
it was like bean based very because it's it's if you ever have one you need you basically you're
breaking chips as you go and you're you basically you're breaking chips as you
go and you're using another you're using chips with both hands to kind of fish chips out get a
spoon in there get a long spoon like it's not it's not like a gigantic deep it's not like
one inch layers that's what i was picturing is like like a trifle yeah no it's like a thin layer on top of
each other yeah very thin not like it's not even like uh well maybe it's as thick as a lasagna
that sounds like an insult to somebody it's as thick as a lasagna as thick as a lasagna Dens is a Pontiac.
So, yeah, and he's, I was over for a barbecue or something where everybody was going to meet the baby,
but a couple people had sequestered the baby in a tent.
Yeah, he was holding on to two little E-meters.
He was changing film well every yeah we had to everything was outside and so there was a little baby tent we had set up to keep him in the shade and yeah and it was around
my birthday too but it was like what a ripoff i know oh and father's day is on my birthday now
like everything uh i just i don't get i birthday now Like everything I don't get anything
Dads don't get anything
Yeah too bad because all those fathers are taking
All your birthday presents now
Exactly
Yeah now you have to get one for everybody
Or however
Do you guys do anything on Father's Day?
We haven't really done anything the worst is that it's like the idea of like oh i'll give dad a day off and like go golf with
other dads or whatever yeah it's not uh that's not what i'm in that's what i'm here for right
right golfing with some pals but i
also don't want to go too far the other way where it's like it's father's day so let's shower him
with attention yes right would you like say a breakfast in bed that's untenable in my life
no one wakes up before me oh that's true so you'd have to be already awake yeah breakfast in bed would be at
6 45 in the morning well it's your day everybody should set an alarm what's the appeal i guess it's
i guess it's that you're being served and you haven't like that you haven't had to sit up but
eating um like a full meal in bed kind of grosses me out to begin with. Like just the crumbs.
Did I talk about watching the movie gray gardens,
which I hadn't watched ever before.
There's a scene,
the,
the elder lady in it is fairly bedridden and she makes corn in bed.
And I was like,
that's it.
What do you mean?
Like has the pot boiling.
How did she, she has like a hot plate yeah it's wild i've never seen anything like it and the whole movie's about why they can't get home
insurance well first of all you gotta stop cooking in bed it was a movie made by state farm uh it had a whole studio like yeah oh yeah state farm uh
it turned out quite a few all state all state did they did some pictures geico
um have either of you guys ever had to use insurance like what they actually like try and collect car yeah yeah me too um car insurance were they jerks
did they jerk you around all over the place or you was it like just take this right off the car
it's pretty black and white uh and sometimes it's like sometimes it's like you're gonna have to pay
for this or uh you're gonna have to pay the deductible on this or and i'm like it's not that big a problem with my like it's it's just like
body damage i don't care that's the same with my body if it's just body damage
but i think there was once where i was hit and run and so i uh like i didn't have to even pay my deductible, I don't think.
Just because they were like, this sucks so much.
I feel like it was like, instead of 50-50, they assigned it 100%
the other person paid. But maybe I had to pay the deductible. I don't really know what a deductible is.
Me neither. I don't know, and I don't really understand how
like I have health insurance for certain things
but that you pay you get paid out regularly for that but uh like i've never yeah knock on wood
i've never had a car thing although did i maybe when i was a teenager i did but also it was my
parents minivan so that would have been, the deductible would have been hilarious.
That would have been their insurance.
Right.
Yes.
I have life insurance now.
Oh, what's that like?
It's.
Do you say Patrick or Patrick?
No.
I said Patrick.
Mark's not from Canada.
That's true.
That's not fair.
There was a Canadian commercial with this old man answers the phone.
It's Patrick. he just got life insurance
wow
that's okay
but
it's
yeah you're
in case you know if a
hitman takes me down my family gets
the money I can provide
special hitman insurance
I have hitman insurance
let me guess they get 4 insurance. And do they get,
let me guess,
they get four,
4.8 million.
They get 4.8 million.
If I'm strangled with piano wire,
they get it.
Right.
Oh,
so it's a specifically hitman insurance.
It's hitman,
but,
and it's method.
So like if I'm taken out with an ice bullet,
right.
And they can never pinpoint who did it.
They get 8 million.
Wonderful. Do you have life insurance mark no no so you can kill me and no one gets anything
i need to get i need to uh i hate these conversations you should get a tattoo of a
of a treasure map on your chest in case anything happens first of all go bury some
treasure yeah yeah that's where i've where i've put where i put all my treasure and then like
and i just do it like a da vinci code style death where like i don't know if you remember this but
i just saw it recently in a hotel at the beginning of the movie a guy gets killed by someone and then
he does an elaborate death where he like makes himself look like leonardo's
like moving man he like paints a clue on his chest but it's like it's a clue it's not like a
like this guy killed me he like does this so so they bring in tom hanks who can decode this man's
anyway that's all i want to die and i want to confuse everyone. Yeah, confuse the detective. Yeah.
Think this is a clue?
Yeah.
And cover myself in symbols.
What is black and white and red all over?
A nun in a blender.
A book.
I'm currently watching Eyes Wide Shut.
You said that like I'm binging it i yeah yeah like it's i've been
watching it in spurts yeah uh speaking of which that's the movie to watch for spurts
and the funniest thing is that anita didn't know it was like a sex movie like you know she never
like i don't know what rock she was ever going to, but she had no idea.
And so, you know, when I think of the movie, I think of the iconic masks and sex party kind of scene, right?
Yeah.
I haven't seen it, but I also think of that.
Yeah.
Like, as someone who hasn't seen it, I know it's famous for that.
Right.
So, that scene came along and she was like, what?
Wow.
I had no idea.
I didn't know that she didn't know that boy.
Like,
what did you think this was?
Uh, but my favorite part about it,
I haven't finished it yet.
We have about 40 minutes and I've seen it.
I don't remember.
Anyway,
I didn't remember this,
but Tom,
Tom Cruises goes around flashing his doctor badge to everyone.
Like,
like he's a cop.
He's like,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, i'm a doctor and he pulls out his wallet and he has like this like
really small fine print looks like a business card that just says phd or whatever uh and it
gets i see that he wants to see that kind of doctor he's a phd yeah he's a phd he's uh he's a
oh he's an md
this gets me anywhere i want to go i'm actually like an egyptologist yeah
uh i don't know what made me think of that i think i haven't seen
that movie how long is it three hours almost three hours yeah yeah remember when that was a
long movie i know it's like such a normal size i Didn't it have a Chris Isaac song on the soundtrack?
Maybe it did a bad, bad, bad.
That was for that movie, right?
Is it?
I don't know.
Well, I know that he wrote one for an erotic movie.
Oh.
Because he's a pretty erotic guy.
Yeah, what else was erotic around that time?
Was Wild Things around that time?
Basic Instinct.
Wild Things was around.
No, Basic Instinct was 10 years earlier. Crash, the auto one, not the other one. wild things around that time basic wild things was around no basically yeah basically earlier
though right um crash the auto one not the other one right the one that solved racism
yeah yeah the one with uh james spader is that crash yes yeah yeah being his being his all-time
weirdest yeah um not that it's weird to get to be attracted to people based on car accidents
that's fine if that's your thing great enjoy i remember the music video for baby we did a bad
bad thing had leticia casta in it beautiful french model hubba hubba beach probably no that's the
other chris isaac song no um did you ever watch his show remember he had that show the other Chris Isaac song No Did you ever watch his show
Remember he had that show
The Chris Isaac show yeah they shot it here
I once saw him on Robson street
And with Abby
And she had a she like hyperventilated
She was like
It's cause she was with Chris Isaac
It's Chris freaking Isaac over here
You said you once saw him on Robson with Abby
He's on my list.
Did he have his hair like all up?
Yeah, he had it all up and he was, you know, doing kind of an Elvis thing.
Right.
He just looked like Chris Isaac.
So here's the background of the song according to Wikipedia.
Similar to how Isaac's Wicked Game only became a success following its inclusion in Wild at Heart,
the song got most of its mainstream recognition after being featured in the 1999 Stanley Kubrick film Eyes Wide Shut.
Oh, I haven't come across the song yet.
That's so interesting.
Kubrick heard the song as Kidman listened to Isaac's music to liven up during rehearsals.
Oh, and then he was like...
That's like the most
interesting thing i've ever heard about nicole kidman it's like she's a chris isaac fan yeah
apparently like uh stanley kubrick didn't want to film any of it in america so he filmed it all
in london even like exterior shots were fake streets and so there's a couple scenes
where tom cruise is marching down the street and he was just on a treadmill doing that so it's uh
oh wow he's a weird dude what's the uh he's on a treadmill and it's just like green screened
because they couldn't get a street oh wow yeah like a like a new york backdrop and uh you know yeah
he was just pretending it was cold out and he was just walking it was so hot in london
well that i they could make it i don't mind that
um i i like it i like the movie more than i thought i would just fyi yeah it's famously like
isn't you know it's one of these things like oh he died before it was finished and the people
making the other producer were like no he was finished this is his vision
so if it's weird and bad it's his fault yeah yeah what's it about it's i i was trying it's about kind of a bad man who is jealous
it's like and get and go and goes on this like wild ride and like like of like being jealous
and like going out to like follow his whims i don, I couldn't tell you what it's about.
You know,
jealousy is like a major part.
Imagine having the free time enough to be jealous.
Yeah.
Very rich.
Um,
kind of do anything he wants.
What is the significance of the title?
Um,
I don't,
I think it's like,
I don't know.
Cause correct me if I'm wrong.
And usually when eyes are wide, they're open.
Yeah.
I always kind of found the name.
I always found the title a little bit like I didn't quite work as a, cause it's not like as a little word play or something.
I don't know.
I never, you know what I would call it?
Hmm.
Boner dome.
Yeah.
That's well, if Stanley Kubrick had had lived to the end it would have been called
that if he had if he had realized his vision but no they had to he died vision for boner dome
is to have tom cruise walking around new york but it's not new york i hate new york
why did he not want to shoot in boner dome treadmill 2000 he's on a treadmill see and he's he's a i don't know why
he's just he's an unusual man right um and you know what he's usually right um do you guys see
ai because that was kind of his thing that he had mapped out and then steven spielberg made it oh i didn't know that that's
i think i remember hearing that but i never saw that either i should watch that i like spielberg
i like kubrick ai yeah so that's the one with pretty good with what's his name with hailey
joel also hailey joel and then uh jude lore jude laurel and it's it's long and it kind of
there's a couple of things that i'm like ah this is spielberg
take this is not uh then we could take but yeah it's worth watching if you want to learn about
robots in the future if you want to get yourself ready and jude law is a sex bot
is he's a sex bot yeah that's right what's his character name something funny
like pleasure p Peter or something
Oh probably
Yeah
Good time Gary
Pleasure Pete 5000
I'm part of the 5000 series
I really know how to give pleasure
Not as good as the 6000 series
But better than the 4
Now
What would you like?
I can't do that
One pleasure please
I'm afraid I can't do that please upgrade the software
please upgrade um yeah i uh gigolo joe
nice and then leisure suit larry leisure suit larry and then what was the the cab driver in total recall was that robot called oh gosh that's a really like johnny cab
or something like that welcome to johnny cab and then like when he when they crash and he's like
he turns kind of demonic for some reason he's like oh thank you he's like on fire that's that's a great we're gonna have to write off your robot
it's completely fucked would it be great if johnny cab was jiggalo joe
ai like some kind of sex cab yeah
that's not a bad name yeah sex cab that sounds like something i want to watch you can have sex
with any part of this car i'm sure you can i'm sure you can watch something yeah sex cab that sounds like something i want to watch you can have sex with any part of
this car i'm sure you can i'm sure you can watch something called sex cab very easily yeah but i
wanted to be futuristic and maybe kubrickian okay well then yeah that that i can't promise you um
yeah is there i mean there's probably i know know they're like Brandon Lee when he died,
they made the rest of the movie just with special effects with the crow.
Like how do,
yeah.
How does that happen?
I'm always so confused.
When a star dies in the middle of filming and then they released the movie
using stock footage and outtakes.
Yeah.
How?
Like,
I don't know.
It must be, they must have like finished shooting like 99 of it or
something i just don't get how they did that well i remember when uh that was all the money in the
world oh yeah yeah yeah the j paul getty movie with um uh kevin spacey kevin spacey was uh played the richest man in the world
uh and then they replaced him with christopher plumber because uh everyone found out that he
was kevin spacey everyone found out that kevin spacey was uh the the things were true yeah um
and apparently they reshot that super quick like oh yeah because he is not like he's in it but he's
not like uh oh yeah they did a good job of it yeah really good job of it but every scene he's in they
have to get everyone back they have to like all those locations yeah well a lot of the locations
were i think they did everything on green screen as far as i can tell from what makes uh a ridley
scott movie these days right right right since house of gucci oh is that ridley scott yeah oh
man he's he's had a weird fantastic career i know i i wish those movies were more fun there was
like those i should love those movies but they just they't have it. They don't even have the flair of being put on in the background.
Which one? The Gucci one and All the Money in the World
are both kind of the same kind of
lifeless. The Gucci one with Lady
Gaga. You were struggling to think of her name?
I really was. what else what else
came through your head before you said gaga i honestly here's honest my honest answer is i have
a friend who's a performer named lady rizzo and i was gonna say lady rizzo but um it's not that's
the wrong lady maybe maybe she should be in it yeah what is What is your, I know Dave's is Moneyball.
If you have a couple minutes to sit down and watch our movie, it's going to be Moneyball.
What's yours of that, Mark?
Jeez, that's a great one.
I was really sick this week with a stomach flu and I tried to watch Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.
It's not that.
That's not the one. Moneyball is such a good answer uh i like yeah um geez i would do uh kind of yeah like anything
like 80s action is really like i'll do that commandoando and such. Remember Commando? Oh, my gosh. I do.
And the big scene that takes part in the mall is one of my favorite.
Terminator 2 for a while I would do.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
That was the Judgment Day.
Yeah.
I could just watch that.
It was on.
Yeah. I know that yours, Graham, or at least one of them, is Back to the Future.
Back to the Future.
It rotates.
There's Back to the Future. There's Cas Future. It rotates. There's Back to the Future.
There's Casino.
Oh, that's a great, yes.
Recently, The Talented Mr. Ripley.
Oh, really?
It's very easy to watch. It's beautiful.
Have you read it?
No. Have you?
No.
That's our book club.
The author did something else too yeah
what did they else with the author do uh strangers on a train oh he wrote that
yeah the the novel was written in 1955 oh okay and there's more than one ripley book right
kind of like oh is there it's like a character. Oh. Mr. Ripley
goes to town. Mr. Ripley takes
Manhattan.
Mr. Ripley 5, go for it.
I think I could re-watch
Heat if it came on.
Oh, yeah, Heat.
I never, I didn't like
Heat. I don't think I finished
Heat ever. I think I got out of it when Al Pacino was saying, great ass. I don't like Heat. I don't think I finished Heat ever. I think I got out of it when
Al Pacino was saying, great ass.
I don't know.
Did you see that?
I feel like it may have been co-written,
but Michael Mann wrote
Heat 2 as a novel.
Oh.
Weird.
It's really funny when a book
is the sequel to a movie. That's actually
2010. Because 2001 was a movie
and then Arthur C. Clarke wrote the novelization of it. Well, they were writing
they wrote them both at the same time. I think Kubrick
actually screwed Arthur C. Clarke over because he released the movie before
the book right but he had nothing kubrick though i mean he might have like helped storyboard the book a bit
but he's not on the book at all no he's not in the book but i think they were like collaborating
to have the two like sort of in tandem i forget i right i knew this 20 years ago but the the sequel book is the sequel of the movie
because the book is different than the movie oh sure and then they made the movie of the sequel
book oh you know what it was i think it was basically yeah it was that it was that the movie
they were collaborating and then kubrick went off and did his own thing and was like didn't tell
rc car right like oh by the way the movie's gonna be way different than the book yeah
so here are the ripley books okay the talented mr ripley ripley underground ripley's game the
boy who followed ripley and ripley. These were written between 1955 and 1991.
Wow.
And that's so cool.
It's like a whole little like.
The Ripley ultimatum.
Yeah.
And it's like in one book, he's listening to records and then it goes, he listens to eight tracks and on and on.
Then he's got a Walkman.
Then he starts a Believe It or Not store.
Let's Believe It or Not store. Let's believe it or not store.
I want to do my own believe it or not store.
Oh, God.
Our products will have you guessing.
And then he watches Alien and he's like, but her name's my name.
Alien, that's another, or Aliens, I think is a good rewatch.
I don't know.
I'm like on this this 80s action deal.
There's so many good movies that I could just keep on.
But they were all made in the 80s.
Everyone knows that.
I know.
Go back to the 70s.
Everything's so slow.
Yeah, it's true.
So slow, so brown.
The film is so grainy.
Yeah, grainy.
So grainy.
Everybody's wearing just, you know, monogrammed suits.
The punches sound weird.
Yeah. Oh, great. Everybody's wearing just, you know, monogram suits. The punches sound weird.
Yeah.
The foley in Eyes Wide Shut in many movies,
it's one of those things that just I can't get past every time I hear it. But that's one where the footsteps are really like,
they really lean into the sound of footsteps everywhere.
So it's like,
like every, you know, and it's like, like every,
you know,
and it's just like one of the most,
it's the most forward sound in the film.
It's like,
what if,
uh,
to make that effect,
they brought in a horse to make it sound like,
but he doesn't,
but the horse does it with his mouth.
The horse is like,
sure.
He's a Michael W winslow of horses i thought it'd be cool to be a foley artist you know when you're yeah the original they
break in celery in a box for most sounds and they have like these
have you seen have you seen the green knight no is that it's so good i just watched it twice
again i watched it twice again i watch it twice every christmas but there's a character in it
who's a tree um or he's like a wood man and well that clears it up yeah whenever he moves it just like the foley people are like yeah
it's time to shine because they're just like
like so much so much breaking celery when we don't move yeah the one that i like is that they
take like um uh what do you call like a towel that's really super absorbed chamois chamois
right right take a sham wow
wet it and then the one i've seen they slap it against the vinyl car seat and that's supposed
to make like a slapping or punching oh sure oh that is i wonder i wonder if that's because
there's like like kind of in the the realm of the willhelm scream there's like some really
classic punch sounds that are like for every movie for like 10 years.
Yeah.
They all have the same like, because I wonder
if that's what it is.
ShamWow on.
When I.
ShamWow on car seat.
I used to watch Fight Club pretty regularly.
Oh yeah.
When I owned, you know, 10 DVDs.
Cycled between Fight Club and The Royal Tenenbaums
and a pavement documentary.
But I would...
The band, not the service.
Like an educational film.
Pavement documentary.
Pavement, where you stand.
And you could stand to learn more
Yeah, so where do you stand on pavement?
Well, let me show you
Exactly
But there's a part where they're just beating up Jared Leto
It's actually my wet dream
But it's brutal and it goes on and on and on And i can't watch it and i close my eyes and i just
hear a basketball bouncing oh okay and is that is that i just want to destroy something beautiful
yeah moment yeah um i had when i had dvds i had um uh a mighty wind, spinal tap, all those, which I, those are definite rewatches.
The matrix,
which I watched a billion times,
the Royal Tenenbaums and election.
Yeah.
Those are my,
like in college,
put it on when I,
yeah,
it is weird that it's like DVDs.
There was 10 years when people had DVDs andhs's had been so expensive for so long that
yeah you would only ever you would have like if you ever rented a movie and lost it blockbuster
would charge you 80 for god to send this back to me well no you just like you you just try to like
disappear from the blockbuster if you're if
you're late if you got too bit you're like i can't they can't know that i'm still here they can't
know that i'm alive so no one really i guess some people did like but collecting movies wasn't a
thing until dvds and people had like huge dvd collections and that that's kind of gone away, but everyone had the same hundred DVDs from the,
from like 1998 to 2006.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Kind of ending with like Tom Cruise is war of the world.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's a good,
that's a good air.
And they can picture his leather coat.
Yeah.
There's like a certain coat he wears in it.
And it's very of that
week yeah totally and it's covered in dust at one point he like kind of
it's like covered in um people ash yeah everyone had like no i actually like unbreakable better
than the sixth sense there was a big this was the shaman shaman. That's right.
And did you know that he was on the cover of Time once
and they said the new Spielberg question mark?
So anyways, he didn't live up to it.
Which was ending, no.
But the question mark, the article is just like,
but he's doing a thing.
My stepdad had two VCRs. And and so we would every videotape he would
he would uh rent he would record but half of them were had anti-copying do you remember that
oh they had a mechanism where you could anti-copy so what the anti-copying thing did was it would
it would make the video like flash really bad color like you just got a really
poor copy like once they copped on that people could use two vcrs and record what they were
watching so yeah half of our collection would and then my brother catalog catalog catalog
yeah he cataloged them into categories and there'd be like a little asterisk next to it if it was not a good copy.
Oh.
Ah, uh-huh.
But we had a great library of things.
Yeah, lucky you.
Yeah.
I can remember like what, there was two movies on each tape and there was Jane Fonda's Workout
was on the same tape as Tron.
That's what Jane, likeane fonda in my childhood jane fonda was a famous
workout person as far as i knew yeah that's how i was introduced to her too yeah but it's like
people always think about like kids that never saw any of steve martin's early stuff and they
just think that he's the guy from cheaper by the dozen so yeah i mean that at least is the same realm it's not like oh yeah this guy hosts infomercials
or whatever yeah danny bonaduce he's the i had some videotapes towards the
the beginning when dvds were taking over and uh i had all the had the ace ventura and i had uh
the sequel and i had a lot of jim carrey movies i think i had all the jim carrey movies up to that
time and then i had one that was
random snippy that's why i remember that i had these cassettes because it was orange the video
oh cool actually yeah this is pretty cool yeah there was there was a time when when vhs was
became cheap uh and i i had election actually on vhs oh really
i had a 13 inch tv with a tape player in the bottom and i would watch dvds on my playstation
too so i missed that setup right that sounds like a pretty cool setup pretty great setup
well we had some anita had some friends come over yesterday and they left her
some of their music on cd and we were like how are we gonna listen to this because they both
musicians are like here this here's our stuff do you uh you have a record player do you have a car
we we don't have a record player we get someone gifted us a record player but it doesn't work
i don't know why i needed to tell you that.
Good gift.
Yeah.
I was just going to say.
It has a seven-layer dip all over it.
Yeah.
You can keep the record player.
Oh, cool.
Thanks.
I was just going to be joshing you, because you can't do anything with a record player
and a CD.
Dave's on the right track.
Does your car have a CD player?
It might.
It does. Yes. I think it does and then uh and then also i recently came into an uh xbox and a place came into an xbox girl
come on shush what where else am i gonna put it
it has to go somewhere why not the xbox i mean it happened while i was playing halo
yeah how could it not happen when you're playing halo
uh and i think one of them might have a yeah function of a function to slide i had the uh there was a flaming lips album called zyrica uh and it came on five discs that you
play at the same time and so it was designed like they used they had these um they had these parties
where you would play them all in a bunch of cars in a parking lot uh but really i tried doing it at my house with like my computer and a playstation and my stereo and
a friend brought over a thing and you walk from
walk around the apartment and it gets, you hear different, and it goes in and out
of sync. Oh. But like the whole
you have to listen to all five for the songs to be. I mean you can listen
to one and you get just one portion of it.
But do you get one portion of it?
Like you just get the bass line?
Yeah, sort of.
Like there's usually more than five elements in the song.
So you get a couple things, but.
That's cool.
And the timing, does it have to be so precise to start them?
Yeah, you kind of have to like start them.
And then everything
starts differently like you hit play on a playstation and like your disk minutes they
don't start at the same second but they they count and you can pause one and and sort of
sync them up a bit but they do go in and out of sync right is it as precise as uh uh starting the wall and watching wizard of oz yeah yeah it's that
precise okay people used to do that with cars too they would do it they would do it with the wall
instead of a dark side of the moon because they were that's what it is such a dork
uh dave what's going on with you, man?
Well, speaking of cultural touchstones,
every night at bedtime,
Abby and I switch which kid we read to,
but we read,
and Margo is seven, almost eight,
and we've been reading a bunch of graphic novels.
That's cool.
Yeah, like kids' graphic novels.
The Dark Knight Returns.
We've been doing a lot of Alan Moore.
We've mostly been doing some Raina Telgemeier.
The Babysitter's Club. Oh club oh yeah the ripley series sure the graphic novels of the ripley series talk about graphic novels
but the clothes are oh
clothes are nice all the linen italy uh but they uh uh lately margo doesn't won't sit next to me while i read she just wanders around
the room and like brushes her doll's hair and i'm like why do we have to read picture books why
can't i just read you a book because you're not even looking in the pictures anymore uh and she
was resistant for a while but i was like like so i was like you should read we should read these Harry Potter books.
Right.
Now I know that J.K. Rowling is a monster.
But by all accounts, this came as a shock when it happened.
Because everyone who read these books was like, oh, she's clearly on the side of outsiders.
And this is very sympathetic to people who feel like they don't belong somewhere so it came as a surprise to everyone when she turned out to be quite the turf yeah
she also kept doing like adding stuff yes she did just kept going back and saying yeah oh this was that and tumbledore is gay she's like the andy milanakis of
fantasy uh but she did so i so i was determined to find these books without paying for them i was
like i went to or without her getting any money for them so i tried to find them at used stores
uh but they i was like oh there's these are the most popular books in the
world they'll be easy to find but i couldn't find them and then my brother turns out my brother had
the whole series he had all of them that's why you couldn't find them anywhere your brother
so he gave me one of his series of books okay i guess but give it back and uh i started we've been reading
the first one slowly because we you know i'm a bad reader and these books are enormous
so i uh but i started reading them and which were still on the first one and i gotta tell you so good i wasn't i wasn't expecting them to be uh
like i you know i i thought they'd be you know stupid i thought they'd be pretty stupid they get
way better too like i read the first three and i was like i am done with this and then i had
friends like adult friends who
were like no no no no you got to keep going i've read three of them i've read 800 pages of this
yeah and and then i read the fourth one which is the goblet of fire and i was like is that the
big one yeah that's a that's not the they get the bigger the biggest ones i think they just
get bigger as they go on like yeah i think the biggest one is like the fifth or sixth but right yeah yeah so then i got
to the fifth one and i was like oh i love this but it took me it took me so long to get into
you really gave it a chance like you really gave it yeah i just like because well the they're easy
to read you know they're like fun kind of they're just gonna kind of fly by but like
i was like this is but i just was like i i guess i guess they are really like every chapter is like
wow this like this whole chapter was like a little uh story in a like in and of itself that
like totally had a uh this entirely new world yeah and it was uh like totally had a, uh, this entirely new world.
Yeah.
And it was,
uh,
like I was an adventure just for like 12 pages and then it's over.
And then,
oh,
there's another one.
And like,
it's really well done.
Yeah.
But,
uh,
I was reading it and Margo was like,
so you've,
you've read all these before.
Right.
And I was like,
no,
these came out when I was an adult.
I think, or at least they became,
they were like,
they became a phenomenon when I was an adult.
Yeah, I read the first one when it came out
and I thought, this is, this is,
I was like, this is for kids.
And then I understood like it evolved,
but I thought it was good.
I was just like, I'm not,
I don't want to know anything
more about these what is the is there anything that you're looking forward to like you say you're
looking forward to that is there anything else you're like like these kind of like milestones
yeah i mean i i'm just i'm particularly the the reading just because i'm the books we're reading
right now i mean don't get me wrong good night moon is a stellar little piece
of work of art as a lot of children's books are um but you know i i'm looking forward to like
discovering things at the same time and like you know yeah being a little bit of a similar page
i'm i'm looking forward to watching casino with yeah casino's good um yeah i want to show him all the old
movies that i love and then realize as i'm watching them why i shouldn't oh my god these
are bad for old men and see what they think by the way that that one is one that i that might
be my one of my all-time favorite movies yeah country for old yeah well i read the book to
your kid then yeah i know you could even like you could
squeeze in more reading time with cosmo if you just put him in bed and then read vanity fair
or whatever you want to read yeah at this point yeah yeah it's true no yeah but he likes he likes
looking at the pictures vanity fair just reading like a profile of dualipa he's like look at the outfit
but at the same time everyone says you know it goes so fast and like he's just he's already like
up he's so big now so i'm i'm i'm happy the speed it's going. I don't need it to move any faster.
Okay.
Good.
Even speed.
Good speed.
Dave, is yours good speed?
Good speed?
Yeah.
They're good.
It goes by fast, but it also goes by slow.
Yeah.
What was your favorite? Do you have any favorite? Like, I need also goes by slow. Yeah. What was your favorite?
Do you have any favorite?
Like I need new like baby books.
Do you have any favorites?
Um, baby books.
Well, you know, written by a baby.
Yeah.
Written by a baby starring.
Yeah.
Probably goo goo ga ga by Madison.
Oh, I love that one.
Uh, yeah. Good, I love that one.
Yeah, Good Night Moon was good.
Did you ever read The Boss Baby?
You mean the movie?
No, The Boss Baby.
That's a book?
It was a book first.
The whole book is covered in the first minute of the movie. It was based on a children's book?
Yeah, from the moment the baby arrived, it was clear that he was the boss he put mom and dad on around the clock schedule with no time off right he was
very particular the funky thing was he never said a single word that made any sense i have these
memorized you should do very good if you ever have to if you're gonna audition for community
theater or something that could be your piece i will read the entirety of the boss baby,
which I have memorized.
Do you have a good night moon memorized?
Yeah,
I thought I did,
but I don't,
I don't actually think I do,
but I have a lot of it memorized.
Do you have a favorite page?
Yeah.
Um,
good night,
nobody.
Good night,
mush.
Yeah,
yeah,
exactly.
And good night to the quiet old lady whispering hush which by
the way is just so cool and so weird that that woman like appears and disappears throughout
is she but also is she a rabbit she's a rabbit yeah but okay but they call her an old lady um
rude but like she's sitting she's sitting in the rocking chair then she's not in the rocking chair
and sitting in the rocking chair but yeah good night nobody i love that what was the one uh i wish i had duck feet uh that is uh
by pd eastman maybe someone in the dr zeus averse uh and then it's about this little kid who wishes
he had all these little things different about him. And then so Big Bill Brown wouldn't be mean to him anymore.
He would show up.
Big Bill Brown.
Is that his name?
Big Bill Brown is just like my style icon.
He's got the coolest hat, the coolest shirt and sweatshirt.
Dave, you're good at this.
Do you mind if I called you every night and you just kind of listed off some favorite verses?
Oh, yeah.
Do you want me to just read to you?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, nothing too scary.
I went to bed with gum in my mouth,
and now there's gum in my hair.
And I tripped over my skateboard,
and my sweater fell in the sink with the water on.
This is good.
This is good stuff. Alexander and the No no good very bad day oh yeah he had such a bad day yeah yeah i'll sleep with gum in his hair or gum
in his mouth yeah um anyway so yeah we're reading these harry potters we're we're halfway through
the first one looking up it's gonna take a a while. We might have to make bedtime longer.
Which is fine with me.
Start it earlier or go later.
Start it earlier, please.
There's a plaque on a coffee shop in Edinburgh that says,
this is where J.K. Rowling wrote.
Yeah, and there's a plaque in a different
one that's like no uh here yeah it says jk it's actually here a lot of the coffee shops there
graham as you might remember they do claim that she was also there but there is one there is the
one that's fair and there's a lot of places that claim that they're the inspiration for different parts of the books. Right. And apparently none of it's true
except for the actual real world
Hogwarts at Universal Studios.
It was based on that.
So yeah, reading those. What's up with you, Graham? Not reading
anything good at the Mo.
On Friday, this past week, you and I, we saw the hilarious comedy of Comedy Bang Bang at a theater here in town, the Vogue.
And the Vogue is an old building so they built it before
air conditioning was invented i think were you hot i was sweating so hard really no
i think i was like i was behind some people who were really pumping out the heat
these heat misers are just radiating heat and then like at one point i i came in the wrong aisle and then i tried to scoot over the wrong aisle and that's usually that's usually not what
i do i usually get it right on on the money usually really good at what aisle to come in
the money usually really good at what aisle to come in josh not that kind of show i have to say even though i contradict myself day in day out but the chairs when they're folded up
had these metal prongs that uh folded in and so they were so i walked across the aisle and hit
my knee on every single one of them
oh and uh because there was i was like at one point i was like well there's no turning back now
even after three of them i'm like oh this won't happen the whole time and that happened the entire
time um yeah so i uh we saw that and then we we went backstage and said hello to everybody
and at that point what are we supposed to do backstage paul invites us backstage every time
i usually there's cocaine on the platter just don't go backstage no no he says please come
back i know he does and then and then i hi to him, and that's fine.
But I feel like the obligation to say hi to everyone else,
and I admire everyone else.
I want to say hi to them, but I know Paul.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it was a lot of fun.
And at one point, a security guard walked through the circle of conversation,
wearing sunglasses,
no less,
and,
uh, poked me on the chest and said,
watch out you.
And,
uh,
I was like,
what the fuck is happening?
And then I realized it was past guest from a long,
long time ago.
Josh Stubbs was a former comedian and he,
he was Josh and with me,
he obviously wasn't wearing sunglasses the whole night at work,
so he found some and put them on.
Oh, my gosh.
And he and his wife, his wife signed him up to be a security guard.
And that's like in their weekends, they are security guards for concerts.
So they go to free concerts every weekend and just hang out together,
get to wear a security shirt that says security on it.
And get to see a bunch of shows.
Yeah, see all the shows.
But also beware people in the audience.
These security guards are just normal people.
You could easily overpower them.
Yeah, that's right.
Has he seen any trouble?
Did you talk to him about the job?
No, I previously you talk to him about the job no he i previously
had talked to him and he said that if there's any real trouble he just like he would walk away he'd
take off the security shirt and just blend in with the crowd yeah put on a different shirt
i um there was also paul was leaning up against the table like when we were talking to him and
like three separate times the security yard came through the dressing room and was just like
said excuse me to get him to stop leaning against this table which was just in the middle of the
route like there was no reason why the security yard couldn't go around them yeah so they were just kept like this is the path we
have to walk yeah yeah yeah and like when when i arrived there was a big line going around the
corner and there was also a giant line for the commodore so they kind of met each other which i
thought was weird because because the comedy show was at seven o'clock at night and why would the
commodore a music venue also have a 7 p.? Well, because they do the reading. They're doing
bedtime, so... Yeah, because they're doing six pages of Harry Potter.
But yeah, you could immediately
tell what line was for what as I walked up the street.
One line is people paying to see a live podcast and then this other one is to see this
rock and roll band that I've never heard of and probably never will.
Did you ever find out what their name was?
I looked it up at the time, but I can't remember what it was.
Did you accidentally go to the wrong line and then go to the wrong show and think, like, this is a very interesting comedy bang bang?
Yeah, I was like, why am I moshing at a uh comedy bang bang show i like it
it is funny people mosh anymore that's still a thing on the table no one moshes anymore when
these kids today they're too interested in bitcoin to mosh in a while i could really go
for some moshing yeah do you guys want to go moshing tonight?
Did you ever,
I liked the moshing when it was like the jump,
pogoing up and down.
That's not moshing.
That's not moshing.
What's that?
That's pogoing up and down.
Moshing is hitting.
Then there's a circle where you body check each other.
Yeah,
you body check each other and you like,
you just,
you let the music.
But a mosh pit is just like,
there's a, there's like a pit of
in the like the motion of the ocean is uh making everyone well yeah okay that's a good question
their playstation what's the xbox what's the difference between a mosh like yeah can there
be moshing without a mosh pit and is that what pogoing is like
but you're also the pogoing is if people are like pogoing in sync it's uh it's a it's a lot of fun
usually you just kind of smush together and the crowd goes one way and the other way and
you lose your shoe right yeah i was always afraid of losing my shoe.
Or having my wallet taken.
I lost my shoe at Eye Mother Earth.
You hear about that?
Got it back, though.
Nice.
Did somebody bring it to you, or did you find it?
I found it.
I just found it.
I just moshed my way back to it.
That's the way you move around.
I can't remember.
Was it Eye Mother Earth?
It's like 20 minutes by walk, but if youosh you'll get there three hours on google maps it's like well if you take transit or walking or moshing wash your way to the shoe store i'm to mosh them with yeah there's
like the nice the nice mosh pit people will like pick you up if they slam down and you know it's like a positive
and it's crowd surfing like that's where people are crowdsurfing did you ever crowdsurf no i was
i was on the other side i would help people crowdsurf but i was i never i don't think
anybody wanted to have me do it i think it was a weird like this was a weird part of my life where i
would ask a stranger to like hey all right help me up help me get me up put like and just some
stranger you would put their hands down and you'd step on their hands and they would lift you up
yeah and then you just start trusting a bunch of strangers to do what they do and and they
they touch your butt and they move you to the front
and then you get down and the security guards are like okay go go around to the back and you get up
and do it again and you're like all right cool i love the green apple quick step
um anyways concerts are fun
should we move on to overheard?
Sure.
This week, the greatest discovery becomes greatest track.
That's because greatest track is for way more than just discovery.
We're the hit show on Maximum Fun that covers all the new Star Trek shows.
Lower Decks, Strange New Worlds, Picard, Prodigy, Discovery, and any other Star Trek show Paramount throws at us. We'll see you next time. Just Trek. It's a new Star Trek podcast from the makers of The Greatest Generation.
Hey there, it's Annabelle Gurwitch.
And I'm Laura House. We host Tiny Victories, the 15-minute podcast that's about the little things. Getting into the tiny victory frame of mind is about recognizing minor accomplishments and fleeting joys.
Isn't it a wonderful day when the first password you try actually works? When it's freezing
cold outside and toasty as I'll get out in my shower, my tiny victory is that I turn off the
water and get on with my day. We can't change this big dumb world, but we can celebrate the tiny wins.
So join us on Maximum Fun or wherever you listen to podcasts.
Let's get tiny.
Overheard.
Overheard.
Well, I can't say enough good things about the way that people are talking out in the world right now.
It's great.
It's enlightened.
It's really we're in the the second golden age and uh you know what we like to do is we like to hear some of that great uh repartee and we like to read or share here on the podcast and
we always love to start with the guest mark would you please yes um thank you graham and thank you dave i didn't do anything well
thank you in advance um i uh so the other day i was at the park and there was these like pre-teen
kind of teen kids hanging out you love that you have to go to the park now all the time oh my god
everything's different.
Everything is different.
And I've made like parent friends, you know, like, oh, you have a baby. So do we.
Let's hang out.
Oh.
And does everyone else have like, I find people have such weird baby names.
Um, yeah.
I mean.
Oh, oh, wait.
You're just Cosmo.
Mine's weird.
um yeah i mean oh oh wait you're just cosmo but there was these kids there was like older kids like near uh us hanging out and i was just like hanging out with cosmo
and um they were and it's like really like it wasn't an argument because they all agreed but
they were just shit talking phones so hard like they were like they're like samsung galaxy is trash man you should
fucking die like if you'd be i'd be embarrassed if i had one of those iphone 13 that's what you
need i'd hate and like just dropping f-bombs so hard about phones and it was to the point
where like i was glad i had an iphone
in case things got serious like me talking to these guys
get a load of this loser over here okay come over here loser no no look yeah uh but i i was just
kind of shocked at just how like emphatic they were about technology like it was very funny apple pays teams to go around
this is viral marketing whisper campaign also quite a couple and then just really quickly
um yesterday i was sitting at barney's which is a little place right right next to where we do our
sunday service show the and i overheard this guy trying to explain to this other guy the video
game portal and i don't think the guy even knew he was talking about a video game but i had less i have less to say about that that's just all
it was he was like we heard a portal oh it's interesting i don't mind anyway the uh my kids
are like i guess they've heard about yeah iphone. Like, I don't, they'll ask me like, do you have an iPhone 13?
I'm like, I don't know.
I have whatever iPhone came out two years ago.
Yeah.
That I will use until it is too slow to do anything.
And I have to go spend another $1,500.
Exactly.
I wasn't sure which one I had.
I knew I had an iPhone though.
And I checked.
Okay.
It's a 12. All right. I got to play it cool. I'm going to be safe. I'm going sure which one I had. I knew I had an iPhone, though, and I checked. Okay. It's a 12.
Alright, I gotta play it cool.
I'm gonna really downplay it. Yeah, I got this
piece. It's 12. It's not up to date.
Anyway, what are you guys talking about? Phones?
Hey, kids.
Let me
into your rap sesh.
Yeah.
Dave, do you have an overheard? to my phone i have oh it's an
iphone 11 pro but it's named iphone 34 because i guess i've had 34 iphones
iphone and then parentheses 34 so i've either saved or duplicated or something i don't know
yes i do have an overheard, Graham,
and thanks for asking.
I was listening to the radio the other day,
and they were talking about Taylor Swift,
a popular singer, popular topic on the radio
where they play music,
and she's one of the leading music makers,
so why not talk about her?
And one of the DJs said,
oh, she has a new song that's going to be in that movie
where the crawdads sing.
And the other DJ was like, what movie?
Where the crawdads sing.
But he thought she was talking about that new movie
yeah which features singing crawdads it's the who's on first of yeah today's generation i thought
it was like yeah and i was on his side i was like oh okay so she's in some kind of animated
yeah right a sequel to the the princess and the frog um you know that taylor swift i say she goes on too many
dates oh that's what people say but she can't make them stay no that's right she can't make
them stay and you know that's why i won't date her i don't want to end up in a song
no yeah exactly um, because she could really
like zero
it in on you by calling it something
shumka.
Like the way she wrote Style about Harry Style?
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
We never go out
of shumka.
Do you remember when she was dating?
Was it...
Fuck, which guy was it? Was it? Fuck.
Which guy was it? I always get these two guys mixed up.
Tom Hiddleston or, um, Michael Fassbender.
She was dating.
I think he was Tom Hiddleston.
And he wore a tank top that said I heart TS.
And?
And there was like a beach vacation.
He was wearing it in the water.
And there were like pictures, like she was wearing it in the water and there were like pictures like she was
spending the weekend with like Ryan Reynolds and
Blake Lively and another
couple and then this Taylor Swift
and her boyfriend du jour
it was like but he
loved her according to his tank top
yeah the tank top she
made him and there were like professional photos
of the three couples like hanging out on the
porch look I don't The tank top she made him. And there were like professional photos of the three couples like hanging out on the porch.
Look, I'm not saying she should be embarrassed, but I would be embarrassed.
And same with him.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
The tank top.
You know what?
It's a little thirsty.
Yeah.
And, you know, don't come after
me, Tom Hiddleston or Michael
Fassbender. I don't know which of you
is which.
Am I?
Go ahead.
I overheard, courtesy
of a couple of gents
that I saw downtown
whilst I was
checking out if we had to stand in line or get ahead of the line or whatever
and it was two it was two gentlemen very drunk and they came up to taz van rassel who was also
going to the show and they said this was at 6 30 at night yeah 6 30 night and the guy say hey what's
what's playing here and taz is like uh it's this podcast and the
guy goes is it any good and uh that's like i don't know i think it's pretty good and uh then he he
just bought a ticket they bought tickets just on spec and then he came back around uh because you
could you could walk in the front entrance if you uh were on the list and uh taz
went in and then he tried to follow him in and taz like or the person there was like no no you
can't come in and he's he said like honey i know show business let us in i know show business
we could have just gone in we went to the back of the line yeah yeah just uh just went up
and said let me in i said let me in baby i know show business yeah so so that's the that sounds
like a bit of a password speaking of uh eyes wide shut where passwords get tom cruise into trouble
um you just have to say honey or baby and you can go in yeah my password is password mine's password 69
oh nice good good that's it's fun did uh did taz see them try to go in after him did he witness
this i that i don't know but they did come to the show they he saw them in the lobby and what
what a great life to just have so much open time to just go to a thing you
don't even know what it is i love that they did that i mean i hope they were good audience members
not too wasted i would like to i'd like to be that kind of person yeah i think it's so but i
don't i hard to imagine a reality where i'm finding myself outside a theater with nothing to do yeah
yeah and just having like well i got time i got time
i got cash i came downtown for some reason vancouver's not quite quite the city where
you would like go downtown to catch a show who knows what it is like you kind of have to know
what you're gonna go do yeah but i love they were just they weren't aggressive in any bad way but
they just were like well we've decided and we're to do it and get out of our way, everybody.
Yeah.
And yeah.
And they weren't rowdy as far as I know.
They were just audience members of a thing that they had never seen, which was great.
That's they weren't rowdy.
They weren't the people who came up on stage and tackled the performers.
No, that's right.
And yeah, I forgot.
I didn't mention that.
They were all all the performers were tackled. They're all tackled. Tackled. Yeah. By rowdy's right. And yeah, I forgot. I didn't mention that. All the performers were tackled.
They were all tackled.
They were tackled, yeah.
By rowdy audience members.
By rowdy audience members.
By rowdy defensive linemen.
Yeah, and a rogue security guard.
Yeah, who was like, he took off his shirt and he was just a shirtless guy after that.
I'm not security. In fact...
Check this out.
Now, we also have overheard sent in by people all over the map.
If you want to send one in, you can send it in to SPY at MaximumFun.org.
And this first one comes from Sarah W.
I was walking downtown in Victoria, B.C., and as I passed two young men, I heard one say to the other,
We're in the city now.
I shouldn't have to say thank you.
That's true. Yeah. Who's going to're in the city now. I shouldn't have to say thank you. That's true.
Yeah.
Who's going to know that I didn't?
I shouldn't.
Manners are so rural.
That's why whenever, like, I know I'm in the country when I walk by and I tip my hat and I say, ma'am.
Yeah.
You better say, ma'am, this is the country and you better say thank you.
Not like in the city where you can just get away with none of that.
No one says ma'am here.
I really wish I knew where they were from.
Like where they were coming from.
In the big city.
In the big city.
The city.
Also, when I was at the Comedy Bang Bang show, I got in that big line.
I didn't see anyone I knew in the line.
And then I got to the very back of the line and my brother and his daughter were right in front of me.
And then one second, like I didn't see anyone the whole time.
And then one second later, my college roommate showed up and said, hey.
And so we were aligned together and then electric horses reading crane
was eating pizza oh yeah but my uh college roommate from victoria who lives in victoria
said apparently i've been bad mouthing victoria on this show and it's actually very it's actually
still live at the dorm you guys went to he still lives in the dorm yeah guys went to? He still lives in the dorm. He's just stuck in time.
Dave, say two nice things about Victoria.
Oh, boy.
Well,
picturesque.
And they had
some British candy shops
20 years ago.
Yeah, I don't know if that's a nice thing.
That's more of a fact.
Yeah.
Candy's great. Everybody loves candy.
Yeah.
Come on.
One of my first memories of Victoria is they had a Christmas store.
Yeah.
Yes, they did.
Year-round Christmas store.
Why is this going on?
I actually really like Victoria.
Yeah.
I like it too.
Good.
Great.
Off the hook.
Still not.
You still haven't said something.
Like you said one nice thing
and then you said two other things that aren't really like
sure
yeah right
the miniature museum is a place to visit
absolutely
there's a bug zoo
yeah
what I'm really sad to have seen gone
it didn't last very long was the V to V
shuttle boat that you could take
because i could walk around a little bit west and i could walk to coal harbor get on it take the
thing all the way to victoria let drops you off downtown get off downtown victoria boom you're
and it's fast did you ever how much was it expensive it was 90 what really yeah but it was like in terms of how much time you spent or
saved from like driving onto the i just loved it um this next one came from uh danny f in chicago
danny f man from the tim burton movies who then did a live concert, oddly enough.
He was in Oingo Boingo.
He has every right to do live performing.
That's true.
That's true.
I was waiting in line to pick up a prescription at the pharmacy.
The line was very long, stretching into the adult incontinence underwear aisle.
The older middle-aged woman in front of me said to her husband,
I can't believe we have to
line up in the most boring aisle and her husband said in a correcting tone the most important aisle
yeah
it can't be the whole aisle yeah exactly
snob wall to wallwall adult incontinence.
That's great.
What other products are there other than, like, poise pads and Depends?
Well, it takes up quite a bit of the aisle because they're such big packages.
They are very poofy.
And also, like, on the ride home, they like to put some of those adult diapers in your
head.
Because your old man when i'm older
when i'm an older old man my head will be big enough to fit in this chair
yeah but your neck is so weak when you're old too weak yeah that's right it's true and your head
can't touch the top of the old person's head yeah oh my depends are filled with old meconium
it's your last poops.
First poop, last poop.
That's how I have to pay my landlord.
This last one comes from Ned H. in
Pembrokeshire, Wales.
There's a beach.
Do a Welsh accent, Mark.
I can't.
Just do your Tesco ad
okay
do my Tesco ad
there's a beach in Pembrokeshire
which was used as a
film location in the Harry Potter series
and it is the site
where Dottie the house
elf was buried spoiler Dottie D dobby d-o-b-b-y
you ain't got no alibi you dobby uh in the last few years it's a big sprung up on the beach a
little grave a spot on the beach boy i'm I'm all... You're getting emotional.
Yes, thank you.
You're tearing up, Graham.
Yes, I miss Dobby.
So the beach,
the grave is being a popular
Instagram and tourist hotspot.
People genuinely come from
all over the world to write messages on the rocks
and leave the stones in tribute
to Dobby
and usually the messages are
along the lines like here lies
a free elf but recently I found
this Jen I thought you'd appreciate
and it says R.I.P. Dobby
I think
you would have loved the Minion movie
R.I.P.
Well, thanks for spoiling
Harry Potter for me. I can't believe
Dobby and Dobby and
Dobbly.
Dobbly.
And Dobbly.
Spinal tap.
In addition to overheards
that are written in, we also accept your phone calls if you want
to call us our phone number is 1-844-779-7631 that's one spy pod one like these people have
i'm trying to get to be more like an auctioneer yeah it sounds good hi dave i'm impossible best
this is christina and i'm following an overhe. We were at the beach and there were three, maybe six year old girls who were working very hard at building various sand dams and castles around a little stream.
And one of the girls said, I don't have time to explain.
Just give me some dry sand now.
Thanks. Now. I wish she did have time to explain. Just get me some dry sand now. Thanks.
Now.
I wish she did have time to explain.
I would love to know the explanation.
I just need the dry sand.
Building a sandcastle is nice,
but if you can incorporate
some kind of moat
or river
when the water comes in,
oof.
There's a CBCc show called like against the tide and it's people making fantastic sand castles where do they make that pei on the beach oh on
the beach yeah they make it on the beach that's true where's the place is there like where's the
bay that has the craziest tides in Canada? The Bay of Fundy?
Is it Fundy?
What's crazy about them?
They're just freaking insane, man.
Yeah, they're just, just take our word for it.
It's insane.
Yeah, this is so crazy, man.
They just leave without notice, the tide, just go out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, man, it's so crazy.
I love it, though.
Yeah, you gotta love it.
It's love it or leave it Canada.
These colors don't run.
Next phone call.
Hi, Dave Graham, Impossible
Guest. This is Sasha calling from
Vancouver with an overseen.
I started getting some very weird
targeted ads from
Redbubble, that custom t-shirt
site. I got two
up here on my feed this morning.
One was the album
cover for Natalie and Bruglia's Torn
and the second one was a picture
of Garfield
with his arms crossed, standing
next to a photograph of
a real-life person.
In the middle is some text written in
comic sans that says
I hate Mondays, but I could never hate her.
And the picture in question is of Princess Diana.
Okay, thanks, bye.
A moving tribute.
Is that just like an AI that makes those T-shirt images and throws them down and then fits them out?
No, that is a cultural thing that we all know.
Garfield loves princess diana
yeah it's canon yeah goodbye england's rose do you think jim davis approves of that garfield usage
he doesn't disapprove of anything he wants garfield as far and wide as he can go so you know
that's true garfield was especially back in the day was everywhere everywhere yeah phones back a window
things you couldn't swing a dead cat nice what was um it's 25 years since uh we lost the old
english rose uh 25 years where were you i was interrupted watching um lerechaun 3. Oh. And I never got to see it.
Left a big hole in my life.
Where are you, Mark? I was in Albuquerque. The next day
I flew to New York to go to school at Stony Brook on Long Island
for a year. And it happened the night before I flew out.
Dave? I was at a party at my on Long Island for a year. And it was, I happened the night before I flew out. Hmm.
Yeah. I remember I was at a party at my friend Robin's house.
Okay.
And,
uh,
I think that was the night I accidentally dropped something and damaged a cute
girl's toe.
Ooh.
Did you say,
sorry,
I'm shaken up by this death.
I don't know. I, well, at this time in our time zone, sorry, I'm shaken up by Prince of Tanya's death? I don't know.
Well, at this time, in our time zone, we had heard she'd been in a car accident.
But?
But we didn't know until the next morning.
Oh, that's right.
Yeah, yeah.
When our moms were sad.
Yeah.
Yeah, sad event.
One of the greats.
Here's your
everything I know about her
has just
become distilled into weird like
internet
like factoids
yes
she couldn't run against the other
mothers at her children's
parents
yeah she insisted she run in her skirt.
Here she is running.
And she came in second.
And she's the best.
Finally.
Hey, Dave and Graham and possible guests.
This is Ben in Los Angeles calling in.
An overheard.
My wife and I were at a prenatal visit at the OBGYN,
and she was out in the hallway,
and there was another couple who had clearly just had a baby out in the hallway,
and she overheard the doctor talking to them, and he said,
So is Arby's short for something?
Well, off I go.
Yeah, short for Arby's. Short for go. Short for Arby's.
Short for Rose Peabody. Short for something.
Well, congratulations, Ben.
We know Ben. Congratulations.
Congratulations. Many happy
returns.
Next year in this room.
Hope your baby is
just like you in every way.
Yeah, yeah. But its own person.
Its own...
But I hope one day your baby could give us a ride from
New York City to the Poconos.
That'd be amazing.
Well, it'll be flying cars by then. Give us a quick flight.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, that brings us
to the end of this here program. program mark do you have anything you want to
plug there's like the sunday service every sunday here in vancouver at the fox sunday service here
in vancouver every sunday at the fox 8 p.m um you can catch let's make a sci-fi a program i
yeah i'm done with dave and we're working on two. I don't think we can say what it is yet. I was going to ask you.
Yeah, so we are. We're in the middle of season two,
which has
been really fun.
But Mark Chavez,
Ryan Beal, and Maddie Kelly
are writing a new
genre. I don't think
we can say what it is,
but oh, they're having a lot of fun.
They're going to write some instructions some instructions they're gonna write instructions for ikea instructions which are mostly just pictures
we've already had some really amazing guests that we've interviewed it's been yeah it's been great
so check that out you can find let's make a sci-fi kind of anywhere i think um and it was
airing on cbc radio it aired today my mother told me yeah but it's been about eight weeks so
it should be coming to an end soon on the cbc but um cool uh oh yeah it'll be over by the time this
comes up yeah um yeah that's about it thanks for having me thank you for being a guest thank you
out there for listening to the show we know you have a lot of options when it comes to Canadian comedy podcasts.
We're honored that you pick ours.
Please come back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself.
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