Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 758 - Brent Butt
Episode Date: September 27, 2022Comedian Brent Butt returns to talk ranch dressing, watch repair, and buying a wrestling ring....
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Hi, he's Dave Shumka, and he's Graham Clark, and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself.
Woo!
Hello, everybody, and welcome to episode number 758 of Stop Podcasting Yourself.
My name is Graham Clark.
With me as always is a man who I believe this past weekend was his daughter's birthday, Mr. Dave Shumka.
Yeah, it was.
It's where, you know, a big party.
Had a big party for eight-year-olds.
Yeah.
Still too young to sleep over, but had like a big party for eight-year-olds yeah still too young to sleep over but um they had like a
nighttime party oh okay so there were you know uh not slap bracelets uh the lights that you crack
and then they're glow sticks yeah oh that's fun but i didn't slap them across their wrists
to let them know who's boss yay
uh our guest today uh re uh one of our all-time favorite uh returning guests uh oh so funny
he's a comedian he's of television he's of movies uh and he's here for the podcast it's mr brent but everybody
hello everybody hey pleasure to be back i like the when you said the oh so funny i could picture
that as like being an album cover or something oh so funny like if i was to do a stand-up album
brent but oh so funny my hands are my hips or skipping through a meadow or something like that yeah i think of it as being
like something it's like tantalizing it like that oh so creamy chocolate of or just me actually
sewing like sitting down sewing something oh so funny s-e-w that's just a glimpse of what's inside
the album the level of comedy that's inside that's just a teaser and it would have it could
have a novelty thing like in an album like it would have a thread that you could pull through
little hole punches like the uh what was it the rolling stones had one that had like jeans on the
front that had a zipper on the jeans yeah you remember albert brooks had that album where there
was uh he recorded it like a comedy duo so he did one part and he had
a script and then on the album cover was a mirror so you could hold you you could be beside him on
the album and you had your part to read and he gave space on the album pretty high concept he
was always high concept yeah he got bored with the uh low concept stuff really quick but see or is it a case of the low concept stuff
uh is expected to do well see one of the things that frees you up if you're going high concept
it frees you up from getting laughs yeah like wow thank you i was operating at such a high level
right the concept i was going there before there was uh the silence blank stairs yeah
uh there was a thing he did where he would get somebody to yell out improv
prompts and then he would slowly like bring them back to a prompt that he had because he already
had a pre-planned sketch he was gonna do so it's like oh you know give me a place a house okay
close to a house though but maybe a little smaller something you could you know move around
let's say a car let's say a car and that away you went uh should we get to know us yeah
get to know us brent it's been it's been i think over a year since you've been on the
podcast i thought you're gonna burst into a very naked lady song there
um how have you been keeping how are things what's what's shaken pretty good you know
things are all right i have no legitimate complaints i can't how long has it been since i was here what am i let's talk to the old newspaper of record thank god we have computers oh man imagine before people
had computers they didn't know when things happened yeah before people had computers
they couldn't tell when you were last on their podcast yeah that's right uh you were on may of 2021 you have 21 and what is this 2022 that's not that's
one that's one later we're only one year later that's not so bad i thought it was gonna be like
2018 or something and back in the day you had to take your old calendar and go back through it and
see where it was let me just see to be the rustling of paper let me just see here a lot of thumb licking um i have i've
been uh all right aside from you know we had some scare with our our pooch oliver our dog oliver he
was in the hospital for three days he's a senior fella now you know he's up there was this a human
hospital or a vet yeah so they were absolutely befuddled no we took him to the vet vet the veterinary
hospital for the dog he had to stay there for three days and um because he he got pneumonia
aspirational pneumonia oh what happened was he threw up for some reason that is still inexplicable
and um he has laryngeal paralysis i don't know how far into the weeds we want to get here but i want
to go all the way i want to learn veterinary knowledge but it's got the old laryngeal paralysis
and um what happens they're they're dogs with laryngeal paralysis their windpipe doesn't open
and close exactly the way it's supposed to which can allow food and water to get into the old lungs. Ah, yes. He threw up, aspirated, inhaled some of his vomit.
That's how I want to go.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He didn't choke on it.
He aspirated on his own vomit.
That's one better than Rockstar.
Yeah, I didn't choke on it.
I breathe vomit.
Yeah.
Anyway, so he was there for three days,
and it was a scary time because you love these damn dogs i don't know about you i don't know if you give two hoots
about your dog but come on it's a shame because you have a you have you know instagram accounts
for your dogs so i know you you get it you love these damn dogs far more than I ever anticipated,
loving this creature.
And you're on pins and needles, you know?
Yeah. And you feel so useless because I'm a dope when it comes to animal medicine.
If I was a human, I could do brain surgery.
Yeah, you've done a tricky animal.
That's a whole different bag of bugs, you know?
So you got to turn them over to the vet.
Yeah.
The one who wasn't smart enough to be a real doctor.
That's an unsolicited slam.
I don't even believe that.
Insult somebody without even believing your own insult.
This person who's saving your dog's life.
Yeah.
Couldn't be a real doctor.
For the veterinary profession.
Nothing but respect. And they pulled it out of the fire and he's he's home now and he's kind of back to his
old self but he's you know there's no getting around it he's a a senior fella how how old is
he yeah uh 13 and a half okay same as my shoe size so for a good size dog he's a big dog like
70 pound dog that uh you, that's up there.
Dave said same as his shoe size.
And you, Dave, you wear the same size as Shaq, right?
Shaq I think is in the like early, the low 20s.
The low 20s.
He is in the low 20s.
But you wear 13 and a half because it makes you feel cloudy.
That's true.
Your little foot just swimming around in there, bonking around.
I wear a few pairs of very big woolly socks.
Abby's already always, you know, darting them, always knitting me a new pair.
That was like when you were a little kid when I started playing hockey.
And, you know, like I'm the youngest of seven kids and dad didn't
make a lot of money and so you gotta stretch that buck so anytime i was buying new skates it was
like well i'm not buying you new skates every year so you he'd buy skates that were like two
how big are your feet going to be three years from now that's how big we'll buy the skates and you
know cram the toe this full of a sock or something like that yeah so for the first year with the new
skates super super wobbly you know swimming around and skates are three sizes too big i've had some
foot problems the last few months i think from the working from home and just having getting to be
barefoot all the time yeah i usually wear house shoes but since we've had a puppy i don't want to
like step in something with my house shoes so i've just been barefoot uh for the last few months and my feet
have been hurting so much is they've lived a real marshmallow existence in the last while they've
had a too good for too long and then i uh started uh hockey season started up and i've been playing
and i'm like oh you know what they say you should wear like a really solid sold shoe when you're when your uh feet hurt like this and i was like well i guess
you know nothing's more solid sold than a skate and i thought i was gonna have to go to the
hospital after my first game i need morphine coach come to the bench a little shot of morphine
we can't take you to the regular hospital with shot of morphine we can't take you to the regular hospital
with your foot problem but we can take you to a
crooked vet
I have very very flat feet
like I have no arch
at all
so you could get out of the draft
you could probably get out of the war
that's what my dad always said
he'll never draft you.
But it can cause all kinds of, not only foot problems,
in fact, not so much foot problem, but ankle and knee and hip problem.
Because your whole leg gets out of alignment.
You overpronate, they say, so you start to collapse inward
like an old shack on the prairies.
And I've drawn some fantastic analogies yes you really do paint a
picture of the foot like an old prairie shack full of mice my feet are full of mice
that'd be soft to walk on oh that wouldn't that be nice The squeaking would be nightmarish.
The incessant shrieking for the mice, but super soft.
If you plug your ears and enjoy the stroll.
I have to wear, now I have to wear like running shoes. I can't wear Converse or Vans or any of the cool, cool shoes.
Cause I just end up hobbling around after about 10 minutes well i wear my platform
boots when i go to my goth country club where my god golf shoes i play with like my platform
black spikes we only use black golf balls very hard to find i wear my black goth boots at night yeah I
I heard that Joey Ramone
who's famous for wearing Converse
never wore Converse because he had bad
bad feet so he had to wear
like a corrective
kind of shoe so when you say he was
famous for wearing but then
then didn't but then didn't
your story doesn't hold water graham oh boy
here we go i was hoping you good guys would just go along with it but now that's under scrutiny
who is famous for being uh quite short actually six foot eight so i don't know where the hell
that came from joey ramone did have yeah you know he's the guy you'd look at you're like
you can't wear regular shoes can't get a regular haircut going it's very angular
have you ever had your feet measured in the device and then say whoa
well we've never seen this before you need a sideways device yowza you know everybody come over and check this out
this is crazy whenever you see this i did have uh not feet but teeth i had a uh i've talked about
this a bit of my stand-up act i won't i won't slide into the bit here but the guy um it was
first of all it was a male uh dental hygien, which made me realize how sexist I am because I was alarmed that it was a male.
I'm so, I'm an old fella.
I'm from a time when dental hygienists were female, you know.
Yeah.
But anyway, this guy, he opens my mouth and he goes, whoa, you have really big molars.
And I just decided to take it as a compliment.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Whoa, those are some huge, how do I say, molars.
So we've got the two dogs, Monster and Irma.
And Irma is about, she'll be about five months soon.
And she is just losing a tooth a day it's just like
and you'll see she'll just be licking her mouth a lot and like oh she's bleeding in there and then
out comes a weird crazy pointy tooth and it was like one day we found three and you're walking
around barefoot too those go like i've stepped on, I remember when Oliver was a puppy and losing his teeth.
They're little sharp pins.
Oh yeah.
And they're, you know, hooked.
So you step on one, it goes, it's like a barracuda biting your foot.
And I, yeah, it was lockjaw.
I got lockjaw.
Got the tetanus.
What do you do with them?
Do you just throw them in the trash or?
We keep them.
Keep them in a little box?
Well, the last two dogs we had just would swallow their own teeth.
Yeah.
And this one, they're just, she's not interested.
And so I'm giving them to me.
Maybe if you put it in a piece of cheese, then maybe they'll like swallow it.
If you don't feed her for a couple of days, she'll start eating her own teeth.
Don't you worry.
We do a little clicker.
We do some clicker training. And when she sits down, I feed her her own teeth don't you worry we do a little clicker we uh we we we do some clicker
training and when she sits down i feed her her own teeth um uh monsters already lost all all the
teeth yeah what should i do should i do some kind of uh scary necklace yes yeah yeah halloween's coming up that's right you could be
like i know black panther had the nice uh tooth yeah necklace and uh super cool yeah i also have
my kids teeth oh you can put those on there too absolutely yeah okay but i i my kids don't know
i have their teeth they think a fairy took them. That's what you're going to give to them on their wedding day?
Big bag of your own teeth.
Have a good life.
As a dowry, you can pawn that off to the groom-to-be.
Here's a bag of my daughter's teeth.
All yours if you marry her.
And these are all authentic.
You can check out.
This is all original daughter.
I got two daughters.
I haven't been great about keeping their teeth separate.
So I don't know whose teeth you're getting, but you're getting eight teeth.
Eight teeth.
And your kids don't have any fillings so far, do they?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah? Yeah. Too much candy yeah yeah absolutely bad habits bad brushing habits bad eating habits yeah i had fillings
very very young i think maybe even my baby teeth i had fillings yeah i think she has one in her
baby teeth yeah i went quite a while before needing fillings but i had my teeth were like they were healthy but haywire crooked like i had like when you look
at these gleaming choppers i have here these are all veneers and and uh what do you call crowns
right yeah and um used to call them crazy wolf boy wolf boy teeth yes yeah gnarly and i still have the mold i i can show people if they
ask i have the mold of what my old teeth used to look like alarming it's like something out of
lon chaney's don't ask graham don't ask don't ask right you got it somewhere in the garage or
no no somewhere in storage um that's the kind of thing that if i your storage locker ends up on a show
like storage wars they go through and that's like one of the marquee things
you can see old stand-up footage of me and you can catch glimpses of the old choppers because i
got the new choppers with that corner gas money right when i we went into season one i was like well i want to i want i don't want to be on tv every
week with my crazy wolf boy teeth so i got new choppers they couldn't just cg it out
you know i guess you wear green screen retainer oh no this is 2003 we were filming you just had
to wear little golf balls on your teeth and they would or no ping pong ball just a strip of spearmint gum across there yeah just tuck in a fresh strip
of juicy fruit and you'd look ah juicy fruit still get it i like that you can that is good
now what's involved in juicy fruit well because it's a very unique taste it doesn't look it doesn't
taste like i'll tell you what's involved you get your skis shined up you grab a stick of juicy fruit it's like it's a whole thing yeah
didn't you have a bit about uh the take a sniff pull it out part that wasn't me no
i might have talked about it on stage because i remember like the commercial always did i was
like who are you trying to fool with this commercial this ain't about gum buddy yeah
take a sniff pull it out the taste is gonna move you when you pop it in your mouth
the most obscene part is the take a sniff i think
although like that's not bad advice no that's true that's true right if you're going to be
doing that kind of if you're getting up to those kind of shenanigans step one that's not a bad
step one take a step yeah and there because there may not be step two step two draw a bath
what is the flavor of juicy fruit what is the flavor it is it's its own flavor it's not it
doesn't taste like anything is it like i feel like i've had something similar to it was it like
jackfruit or something tropical i don't think i've ever had jackfruit that's not been imitating
taco meat or something like that i've never had just jackfruit on its own.
Is it good?
Is jackfruit?
Yeah, it tastes like juicy fruit.
Ah, yes.
Yeah, take a sniff.
Steve Schuster, brilliant comedian.
God rest him.
He's no longer with us.
What a unique comedy mind.
But I remember him just out of the blue yelling,
what the hell is it?
Taste a ranch.
What does that mean?
Ranch.
It tastes like a ranch.
What are you telling us? Yeah yeah whoever came up with just the way to describe that flavor
ranch and then when they did cool ranch you're like well what the hell what the hell is hot
ranch what have i been eating this whole time i always said they called it ranch because uh
it's easier than calling it miracle whip with black pepper.
I mean, that does sound good.
Miracle whip with black pepper.
Now that you say it, I'm like, num, num, num, num.
I mean, nothing.
I mean, I believe ranch is the most popular salad dressing in America.
Yeah.
I'm not questioning its deliciousness.
I'm just wondering where the deuce did you get that label? Where do call it where did you come up with the name ranch yeah because ranch to me it sounds like oh uh does this taste like a horse excrement
does this smell like bull feces yes
it smells like an old cowboy's pants biggest a sniff of this no there's no flavorful association with
ranch is there uh ranch is like as you drive as you're getting close you're starting to
wrinkle your nose up yeah we're getting close to the ranch it was originally called branch and then
they were like nobody's gonna eat something called branch but it tastes like branch so we're gonna call it ranch i i i mean like black angus
steak like anything with like a boy you're branding stuff that does it does tickle the
senses smells like burnt hair yeah tastes like burnt hair enjoy
uh yeah but it's good like because also hidden valley has its own ranch and i don't think
the hidden valley actually exists but it makes it sound like it's wholesome it's hidden you
wouldn't know yeah that's so well hidden who invented it did hidden valley invent ranch
i don't i have no idea who invented it maybe it was just with us this whole time and we just discovered hidden valleys that's the other name of wakanda isn't it yeah the unofficial that's
like the slogan for wakanda hidden valley they invented vibranium ranch dressing they're so
advanced in wakanda yeah they and they blessed uh us normies with the ranch dressing that was
their gift to the rest of the world.
They let that one leak out.
According to Google, it was invented by George Washington Carver.
When he took a break from peanut.
Yeah, he found a million different uses for Miracle Whip.
Yeah.
Do you guys both like Miracle Whip?
I do.
I don't use it in my everyday life.
I'm a regular mayonnaise guy.
Yeah.
But the times when I do have it, as a kid, we had Miracle Whip.
Oh, yeah.
That's what was in the fridge, not mayonnaise, Miracle Whip.
Yeah, we had it growing up too.
And now that I have it, when I have it as a grown-up, I'm like,
two or
three bowlfuls and i that's about all i can do but i really hit the wall but i do much prefer
regular mayonnaise yeah me too yeah but if miracle whip's the only thing on offer it has that tangy
zip it's true it is it does make the difference in potato salad, though. It's really good in potato salad.
If you use Miracle Whip versus mayonnaise when you're making potato salad.
I also find that Cheez Whiz adds personality.
That's right.
These are some good slogans.
You guys could get Kraft to sponsor this damn thing.
Yeah.
They've turned us down several times.
But you know what?
I have a good feeling about 2023.
And they've turned us down several times.
But you know what?
I have a good feeling about 2023.
I've seen, there's a commercial now for Kraft peanut butter, where a woman is like moving to Paris to live with this gorgeous man in a wonderful Parisian apartment.
And then she goes to get Kraft peanut butter.
And it turns out they only have it in Canada.
And so she moves back to Canada pack your bags I won some uh I was part of a an award for a Kraft ad a Kraft integration award
they like it's some advertising integration award so what happened was when we were doing corner gas
Kraft came to us and they they said you know they wanted to do like some kind of integration
opportunities or anything we could think of and I was always like it's got to be you know, they wanted to do like some kind of integration opportunities or anything we could think of. And I was always like, it's gotta be, you know, if we're going to integrate, it's
gotta be some kind of natural thing. So I said, let's see what I can come up with. And I wrote
a scene where a guy comes in and asked my character behind the counter at corner grass,
do you have any cheese? And I, my character says, yeah, we have all five. And he says,
there's more than five kinds of cheese. There's hundreds. And I was like, yeah, we have all five. And he says, wait, there's more than five kinds of cheese.
There's hundreds.
And I was like, yeah, there's hundreds.
So I tell him the five kinds of cheese that there is.
There's cheddar, matzah, Havarti, Parmesan, and Whiz.
And then we go through this thing where he's like,
Whiz isn't the kind of cheese.
That's a brand of cheese.
And I'm like, no, Kraft is the brand.
Whiz is the type.
And he's like, no, Whiz is the brand whiz is the type and he's like no whiz is the brand craft is the company we do this whole big thing and uh it ended up
winning some advertising integration award i think you can your your listeners can find it
on youtube i think if you if you did corner gas cheese whiz i bet you yeah there google that up
right now dave you got your google machine my internet's not working weird well get your calendar do it old school okay what am i googling this scene and then are we
gonna watch it together just see if it's there and then you can tell your listeners to go find it
okay what was the name of the program
full house i was uncle uncle nipsey full house yeah corner gas do you carry cheese 41 seconds
youtube so there's something for your listeners to look forward to
yeah pause the podcast right now go check it out then check out that craft commercial with
the parisian oh yeah oh you know what? Okay, so the 2009 Internationalist Awards for Innovation in Media. This was a cheese whiz submitted by MediaVest Canada. This one's silver.
Oh, nice. What is it? MediaVest or Fest?
Vest, like what Neil deGrasgrasse tyson wears sleeveless festival
that would be a good name for like vest makers they all get together for the festival every year
yeah from around the world they you know you got consult innovation if this one's silver what one
gold yeah that's what I'd like to know.
I was under the impression we won.
Oh, Doritos won.
Shit. For their Cool Ranch campaign?
It's all who you know.
Yeah.
Doritos was on
this hour's 22 minutes.
Damn it.
Do you guys, is Doritos like a preferred chip you guys are yeah yeah it's in
the it's in the upper echelon yeah what's in the lower echelon what's in the what's the bottom of
the barrel fruit flavored chips have I ever talked to you about that no oh there was a while in the
70s and and I've I've I thought for a while i was crazy what do you call
it there's a there's a thing where you remember something that nobody else remembers oh the
mandela effect oh what yeah the mandela i thought i was going through that for a bit because i could
swear when i was a kid for a brief window hostess came out with fruit flavored chips so you could
grape flavored chips or whatever orange flavored chips
and as hellacious as it sounds they were even worse like it was the worst flavor even like you
know how bad a chip has to be before a fat kid like me would would be like no thank you i'll
stick to my juicy fruit thank you very much so i was like uh but i couldn't come across anybody else outside
of my hometown that had encountered this and then my buddy jamie hutchinson said he remembered it
when he was a kid and so what they were doing was like they would do test pockets little communities
small test pockets and get feedback where no one would notice if you do not roll this out in a white brent used to be the youngest of 10 children and then we released these
yeah that was terrible fruit flavored i'll never forget grape flavored potato chip
but it's as you say it it sounds gross but also i want to have it like i also want something
grapey that's crunchy.
Do you have anything like that that only you remember, Graham?
Yes, I do.
But I can't remember the thing that I remember.
But there is something where I was like, this is a thing that exists.
And I was saying it to my brothers and they were like, nope, that never happened.
That wasn't a thing that ever existed.
I had, I remember one time when I was a kid, someone gave me a caramel, like a little cube of caramel wrapped in the plastic wrapper.
Yeah.
And I ate it.
And then the person who gave it to me was like, now put the wrapper in your mouth.
And I put the wrapper in my mouth and it dissolved and it was made of sugar as well.
Oh, wow. And I don't know if this was a dream i'm just gonna say this has a dream like sort of vibe because
i every time i've had a caramel cube since i've been like well i gotta test out the wrapper nope
i'm just sucking on plastic and we were sucking on plastic
there was one thing that i remember is a band and they don't have an album of theirs but he did
i think when i was a teen called furnace face was the name of the band and i really liked this tape
and then i thought it didn't exist but then i saw backstage somewhere
a guy that because if you look it up like furnace face doesn't on google it's not really a vancouver
band i think entirely possible i i remember having their album and thinking it was good and i liked
it but then i saw a guy backstage at a show who had a sticker on his uh like you know box that
you bring instruments in or whatever
and i i was like oh my god this is this is for furnace face and he was like yeah it was in
furnace face and i was like oh it was a real thing and then he disappeared he just shimmered and
disappeared before your very eyes he dissolved in my mouth yeah he was made of some kind of candy glass i was in sugar phase but i also like the
notion that you ate the caramel and then your friend said put the wrap in your mouth and you
were like okay i would be dude in the van who gave me the caramel said now put this little tab in your mouth oh no it's a thing apparently you can yeah you can take a sniff
pull it out put the wrapper in your mouth and then walk around about uh edible cellophane
here's a recipe for it in the guardian
glenn greenwald is blowing the lid off this it's just made of glycerin and powdered gelatin okay so it's a real thing that actually
you've had maybe i guess i must have those caramel cubes like when it came to like whatever
five cent candy i think that was king of king of five cent candy But I feel like there was a lot of blowback.
Talk about something that would pull the filling out of your mouth.
Yeah.
Careful the way.
Those are brutal.
What big molars you have.
If I didn't have such big molars.
If you ask me, the king of five-cent candy is the sour key.
Yeah, that's a good contender for sure
so i'm a bit older than you guys considerably i guess but because when i was a kid there was
half cent candy you you couldn't buy just one they were mojos you had to buy two because they
were a penny and if you haven't got a hay penny yeah i grew up i was i'm i'm young enough that we didn't have a penny
but i like the that is an ad slogan you can't just you can't buy just one
that's pretty good that is crazy that like there was ever that the money was valuable enough back
then that you like you did not there were things that caused
less than one cent less than the smallest amount of money you gotta you gotta get two
and what would you get what was the what was the king or queen who me yeah you um
i don't like for i i honestly wasn't that big a candy kid i loved to get um chips like a bag of
chips i like you know salty greasy way better than sweet yeah okay yeah i didn't turn my nose up at
free candy but no i didn't usually spend my own dough to get candy i was like i would usually uh i could wrangle a dollar
out of my father on saturdays usually and then uh go get 200 pieces of candy 200 mojos no it was
always uh so uh for a quarter you could get a coke for a quarter you could get a comic book
so there would be half of it gone every saturday it would
always be coke and a comic book and then it was wandering around what am i going to spend this
other 50 cents on yeah usually it was i was trying to find i wanted to buy something that it would
help turn me into a crime fighter is there any gizmos or gadgets i was so obsessed with being a
superhero can a mace or something in the back.
And I remember there was this thing that was beyond,
it was like 80 cents.
It was beyond my budget.
But I squirreled away and went back the next week and got it.
And it was like a little sort of grabby arm.
It was like about a foot long and it had a grabber,
like a pincher.
Oh yeah.
I was like,
oh,
I'm like Reed Richards.
I'm like Mr.
Fantastic. It's I've extended my reach by 10 inches. grabber like a pincher oh yeah i was like oh i'm like reed richards i'm like mr fantastic
it's i've extended my reach by 10 inches now let's go fight some crime yeah like i remember those
uh because you could get one at the zoo i feel like you get one that was shaped like a
like a horse horse with the zoo on, there's better animals than that.
I think we had like a dinosaur head one at one point. Yeah, yeah.
This would look like a human hand, like a robot's hand.
Oh, cool.
Nice.
That would put you at an advantage in the spy game.
There is, yeah, I do like that when a convenience store did have like two or three weird toys that were less than a dollar.
Like there were those styrofoam airplanes.
Oh, yeah.
That you had to put together?
You had to put together and there's little tabs and slats and slits.
Remember the elastic band?
The balsa wood elastic band propeller airplanes?
Yes.
I remember those yeah yeah that
one flew right into the neighbor's yard yeah they all seem to just get smashed and the cat would
destroy them yeah oh yeah i bet you uh i bet you they're still somewhere out there and some
like somebody's like i'm gonna rejig this uh this product i'm gonna bring it back and nobody
but 7-eleven just has so much hot food now there's no room for them
it has turned into a weird thing right that 7-eleven now has full pizzas and uh and like
and they've got like a like a bunch of like ovens going in. Yeah. Stuff that you put in yourself. When the hell did this all happen?
It stinks as well.
I haven't been to a 7-Eleven.
I don't think I've been to a 7-Eleven since I quit smoking.
Where do you get your lottery tickets though?
That's a hell of a long time.
Yeah.
7-Elevens changed.
And they have like grab and go bags of scent scent candies now you don't you don't have to
pick out your i mean i wouldn't pick out candies out of a plastic bin oh yeah is that a post-covid
thing or is it just a i think it's just a yeah just making money you know basically targeting
three sucked candies it's like a little discount bin discount i'm paying extra
jawbreaker centers gently used lozenge
the um yeah no uh 7-elevens become like the one-stop shop for somebody's not taking care
of themselves i'm gonna have to drop in now see what kind of weird
bs goes on and i'm just gonna go in there with a real chip on my shoulder i've heard some stories
about the weird bs going on in here what there's also i feel like in 7-elevens now there's an aisle
of chips an aisle of candy and then an aisle of things that you might need around the house yeah that seems to be like the the makeup of the store now it's no there's i don't know do
they they have like magazines by the checkout but they used to have like a wall of magazines yeah
yeah and you would get you're like oh maybe i'll see a nipple in this hot rod magazine
and and i'll buy a hot rod to eat along with it hot rods were like slim jims you remember
that yeah i think they're still around it has a picture of a hot rod on the hot rod
but there was no slim jim magazine just skinny guys named jim posing on motorbikes and stuff
here's a skinny fellow named jim from Carolina. Yeah. But yeah, I forgot how oddly
specific some of the magazines were at the 7-Eleven in the day
because where else would you get magazines? Maybe at the grocery store, I guess?
You could get a gossip rag or something like that.
Even today, I think they still have
a magazine section in the grocery store yeah that's true
where it's just uh and it's also they got like romance novels in the same area yeah and like a
sticker book for like pokemons for the little ones they always had those little horoscope ones that
you could buy and they would have you could pick out the one of your little scroll yes yeah yeah yeah this is i always
preferred instead of the wall of stuff i i was a sucker for the spinner rack you know that had
yeah it's on it and i always fantasize as a little kid like when if i grow up when i'm rich adult
i'm gonna have a spinner rack in the bathroom and that's and i'll be on the same route as like the drug stores in every
place i also get the new comic books every month he would come to my house and he put the new comic
books in the bathroom spinner rack it can't help but feel like i'm about to get killed here
well i'm sorry that didn't work out for you brian that's a good uh that's a good follow by the way
on twitter there's a there's a twitter account called spinner rack oh yeah I follow spinner rack yeah and it just shows
like it'll pick a day like you know here's four comic book covers from September 1981 or something
you know yeah and uh like I like on the old comics that it would have a question or something
on the cover is this it for Green Lantern? That kind of thing?
Yeah.
They don't do that anymore.
They've been doing that for a while.
Marvel, for a while,
it was always like it had a big question mark
and the question would be written inside the question mark.
Nice.
Conservation of space.
Excellent.
I catch it.
How could you not spend a quarter on that comic book?
Yeah.
Where did Spider-Man leave his keys?
Where did he leave his keys where did he like where did he put it away yeah because that would surely show up i don't think he needed
them he would just go out the window oh yeah i don't remember ever seeing him drive no that's
not true i remember him driving in some of the old 1960s spider-man cartoons i remember him
in a in a doctor octopus episode i remember peter parker driving out in his car to uh
where there was some trouble he was supposed to go take a picture you know for j jonah jameson
i remember seeing a uh like a toy that was spider-man on a like a four-wheeler and i was like this is
not this is not canon surely does he never tooled around in the prairies yeah they had like i remember
they had a superman helicopter too that's redundant how tired do you gotta be before he's like i'm just
gonna take the helicopter you know because it's not like like, I'm just going to take that. Look up.
Because it's not like he was flapping his arms to fly.
He could fly all damn day.
Yeah.
It's like the Flash's unicycle.
Yeah.
There's no.
Flash's bullet train.
You guys all excited about the new Flash movie that might not come out?
I thought you were going to say, are you excited about bullet train it's out graham flash versus bullet train no i'm not particularly excited about the uh um and i enjoy superhero
movies yeah i'm just a big fan of that actor yeah he's gotten into some pretty cool stuff good guy what's his name ezra something
right yeah ezra miller yeah um which sounds like a made-up name that would be in a law and order
episode about actors or rock stars his name's ezra miller it sounds like a name that you like
you start saying your real name and then you realize you shouldn't give your real name and
so you come up with a fake last name because real name was being like ezra horowitz or something
but he's not trying to be on the lam from the law so he's like ezra let's say um yeah the uh
they don't know if it's going to come out or if they're just going to look the other way and be
like yeah you know maybe he's in therapy now.
Separate the art from the artist and
is this art?
Could
you call a Flash movie art?
And what is art?
Did Superman, he could
go faster than the Flash, right?
Well, I was going to ask, has this ever
been settled?
I don't think so. I think the Flash ultimately is faster.
Give the Flash something.
Yeah, exactly.
That's how I feel.
Come on, give him something.
Let him be a little bit faster than Superman.
Yeah, we're not saying way out in front, but...
Because that's all he had was speed, right?
He wasn't...
Yeah, that was it.
He was really dumb.
He was really fast, but so stupid not true he was a scientist really bad with money uh
guess who has to borrow some money again
i'll pay you back in a flash he'd try and be charming with it yeah that's what you said four loans ago
it all hit up batman for loans i guess he would be the guy who would have the most
ability right to do all that i'm just thinking purely justice league at this point
um i guess the only other one unspoken wonder woman wonder woman yeah she'd take a plane
she's not somebody was a was the
plane made it was invisible what was it made out of visible plane visible plane but was she visible
in it was she flying you could see her squatting in the sky so it just looked like a a seated woman
whistling through the sky in nothing you know yeah is that Is that Beth up there? No, no, no.
I assure you, it's wonderful.
I don't know why the plane had to be invisible.
You know, to get the jump on.
Was it like landing at airports or did she have like a helipad?
Was it?
Yeah, that's a good question.
I don't remember it ever landing.
They glossed over that little detail cut to she's at the seat of the crime they're trying to figure out where to put
the ramp at the airport for her to get off is there like yeah they gotta wait there's a there's
a strike of the airline airplane airport workers she's sort of stuck on the tarmac for a while meanwhile
meanwhile you know batmobile broke its wheel and joker got away
that's why i liked hulk's um mode of transportation where he's like
you know he's just so strong he can just jump for you know a thousand miles which is kind of
that's what like superman was initially superman couldn't fly when he first appeared in the comic strips he could leap over a single building he
could jump you know a quarter of a mile at a time or whatever so that's how you can leap over
buildings in one or two pounds i'm not sure how many pounds it would be yeah i think it was a
single oh was it a single bit able to leap over buildings in a few bounds do you remember the heritage moment
about the Schuster
is the one that
yeah
the guy from
you can't do that on television with him
by the way I mentioned
I referenced
Steve Schuster earlier
yes
now we're talking Joe and Joe schuster is his uncle oh shit yeah
so he was this was always like steve schuster used to say in his act because steve schuster's
sister rosie schuster was one of the original writers on saturday night live schuster's sisters
uh and so she was an original writer on saturday night live
his dad was one half of wayne and schuster legendary comedy team his uncle created superman
so that was steve schuster's joke was always my father's a comedy legend my sister is an
emmy winning tv writer my uncle created superman and i am a career middle with yuck yucks.
Career middle.
I am a career middle with yuck yucks.
Dave, what's going on with you?
What's going on with me?
Yeah.
I just wanted to ask Brent one thing. Last time he was on, he was writing a novel.
That's right.
About, I this the phrase that
pays that i heard him say a few times was about someone with a uh tremendous capacity for violence
is that right yes tremendous or sometimes i say disturbing i mix it up i think it's both
but it's yeah so i wrote this novel called huge and uh i don't know so last time i was here i
probably didn't have a deal no i'd written the novel but i and then i was going to try and find
a publisher you were still asking what's the deal yeah yeah that's the deal i wrote no i didn't write
it but i was on let's make a deal i got my stories mixed up no so i wrote this novel when the pandemic rolled around i was like
you know i've always wanted to write this novel and i have the if i had this idea for a while so
if i don't do it now when we can't go anywhere or do anything when the hell am i going to do it
right there's no excuses now so i hammered it out and um i i i liked it and then i let some other
people read it and they liked it and they have good feedback and stuff.
And anyway, I'll be damned if we didn't make a deal with the publisher.
Holy shit.
First of all, the book got me a literary agent and then, and now I have a deal with a publisher.
So my, my novel, which is called huge is coming out in fall of next year.
Like basically a year from now, it'll be at the start of October sometime,
2023.
Cause they want it to be a fall launch and where it's too close to this fall.
So it can't come out now.
So it's going to,
yeah.
October of 2023 is the likely release date.
And it's coming from a double day.
Canada is the publisher.
That's exciting.
And we're looking, my agent's trying to find a publisher is the publisher. That's exciting. That's very exciting.
And we're looking, my agent's trying to find a publisher in the States.
And maybe we'll try and get a UK deal.
And yeah, it's all just from sitting down, parking my arse in a chair and finally doing the thing that I've always wanted to do, which was write a novel.
And right after 25 years of writing scripts, you know, 20 years of writing scripts to suddenly find yourself writing long form prose it was so fantastic it was just so sort of liberating in a
way uh are there any plans to do the audiobook um it's gonna that's gonna happen and and can
dave be the one to read are you gonna are you gonna read it i might but if jeremy irons
turns it down like i'll try reading it i'll i might just think they're gonna be auditioning
for to read my own book for the publishing company i think is the way it's gonna happen
they'll they're absolutely letting me read and then they'll decide whether it should be me or
somebody else but they seem to like the idea send us else. But they seem to like the idea.
Send us a voice memo.
They seem to like the idea of me being the person to read it.
Now, here's my question.
Do you guys, first of all, do you listen to audiobooks, you guys?
I don't listen to audio fiction very much. No, I don't think I've ever done maybe Interview with a Vampire.
No,
that can't be right.
That was back in the time of CDs,
I think.
So I've never downloaded a book because the,
there's kind of three main characters in this book.
A lot of it has to do with just these three main characters. Cause it's three comedians on the road in the mid 1990s,
three comedians on the road,
two of whom start to realize the third one has a tremendous and disturbing capacity for violence.
And the run of shows that they're on becomes less about getting laughs and more about actually surviving, getting home alive, because they're with a very unstable dude who's enormous.
a very unstable dude who's enormous.
Anyway,
one of the characters is an Irish woman.
And so if I'm reading it,
I'm like,
do I do like a higher voice and some bad Irish accent?
I don't do accents well.
So it's going to seem terrible. Or do I just like read her the same way I read myself?
That seems like it would lose something.
Yeah.
I feel like you should,
if I was the person reading it,
I should almost hire
an Irish actress to
play the part.
Yeah, the one from Touched by an Angel.
She's available, I think.
Roman Downey.
Speaking of comedy on the road,
were you ever on the show Comedy on the Road?
I was. Yes. I was on it twice were you yeah once in montreal once in
vancouver was it was it john beiner was the host or am i beiner and i later went on tour with john
beiner nice i did it i i was on tour um Ross Rumberg, who used to own Rumors Comedy Club in Winnipeg.
He's passed away now.
But Ross, he decided he's going to do this tour with John Beiner as the MC and like three Canadian headline comedians.
And we would do the theater tour.
Cool.
And it was just, did not work out well at all.
Oh, no.
First of all, he was, I don't know what he was thinking he's charging like you know say i think you could see bon jovi cheaper than you
could see us i don't know he said to me you know because nobody was buying tickets and he was
taking a bath on the thing i was like i think maybe you know for a guy who used to be famous
and three guys who never were that's that's the bill right the show is a guy who used to be famous and three guys who never were, that's, that's the bill,
right? The show is a guy who in the sixties did a lot of Ed Sullivan and three guys
who've never done anything beyond club acts,
you know?
And he,
he created like a,
he had tour jackets and he had all this merchant.
They were like satin tour jacket.
So he was getting mad cause he's losing it. He like they were like satin tour jackets so he was getting mad because
he's losing it he's losing his shirt on this tour and i just kept i felt bad but i kept mocking him
incessantly i was like well hey hang on to these silk tour jackets because you don't know like if
roller disco ever comes back boom you're set you gotta or i remember one time we we were we about you know five or six shows into it
and it's not going well like 11 people to come out to these 700 seat theater you know
and uh because they didn't know bon jovi wasn't down we roll into edmonton and um
we check into our hotel rooms and there's a you you know, a knock on the door and I go and I open my hotel room and it's Ross.
And he's all hanged up there.
And he's like, he says, I'm going down to the mall.
You want to come?
And I said, why are you going to the mall?
You need to buy more red pens to do the books on this tour.
Oh, he got mad.
Oh, he was steamed.
It's the satin jackets is the best of all
that would either go to he was just inviting you to the mall but you couldn't you couldn't resist
couldn't resist well listen he was you know god rest him he but he was not above roasting anybody
in any he was not above kicking a man when he was down i'd seen it happen many times
so i was like i didn't feel too bad.
Yeah, this is his chance.
Yeah.
Just the idea of being on this tour and then the merch.
Like, t-shirts, schme-shirts.
It's going to be satin jackets.
Oh, don't get me wrong.
There were also t-shirts.
Oh, nice.
Okay, good.
There was any manner there was
more merch for our tour than honest to god it was like i don't know what he was thinking
uh he's thinking these things are gonna sell like hotcakes yeah he would have actually sold
more hotcakes if he had decided i'm going into john beiner and some hotcakes. He probably would have done better. John Biner and the hotcakes.
That sounds like.
Five, six, seven.
Okay.
Here's what's going on with it.
Dave, tell us, tell us all about it.
So I, a few months ago, my watch started running really, really fast.
Okay.
Like the flash.
really fast okay like the flash man what the flash's watch must be out of control uh and so i was like uh this is gonna be this is not gonna be like
this is an annoying thing to have to fix right because like i know what time it is and are we talking is this a a regular face
watch or a digital or a mechanical okay a mechanical fella uh but uh last week i was
like okay i'll it's time to get it uh fixed i brought it to the there's like three people in town who fix watches and uh i brought it to one of them and he was like
he looked at he was like uh i i said it's going you know it's a he had a really small store and
so i'm like just the the only person standing in this like little uh vestibule uh and i give him
the watch i said it's running really fast. How fast?
About, you know, three minutes, an hour.
And he's like, were you shocked?
Like, I think it's become magnetized.
Have you been like, were you, did you do anything magnetic?
And I was like, no.
And then he looked at the watch.
He's like, oh, this is an anti-magnetic watch.
So were you like shocked with electricity? I was like no and then he looked at the watch he's like oh this is an anti-magnetic watch so were you like shocked with electricity i was like no yes but he did gain these crazy powers i thought he was asking you it sounded to me like he was asking you if you were shocked that it was
three minutes fast yeah he was like yeah it's pretty close three minutes an hour you're shocked
by that come on roll with it at the end of the day it's like you
know an hour but you know uh so he uh looked looked at it and he was uh like oh and i was
just expecting to drop it off and come back and get it another day right and he was already working
on a different watch and he like put it aside and made this his pet project and he was like did you
stop podcasting yourself guys here drop everything and he's the only employee there's no one there's
no one like uh there's no whatever uh person at the work in the front desk and so i'm just
standing there and he's like were you chopping wood with this watch and he was like so he he he said uh
so it looks like there's something wrong with the so-called hairspring
like this is your you don't have to say so-called like i know that it's probably a watch term
he's trying to dumb it down for you.
I don't know.
This is something watchmaker is a watch term.
I don't know.
I'm not,
I don't buy into all that stuff.
Um,
so I'm there and then there's a sign on the window.
It says one customer only at a time.
Right.
And I'm there expecting this to be like a two minute interaction.
And then I come back a week later,
but I'm, I'm standing there for half an be like a two minute interaction. Then I come back a week later, but I'm,
I'm standing there for half an hour as he works on it.
And meanwhile,
there's a guy outside,
like just standing outside waiting to come in,
but he hasn't like given a signal like,
Hey,
could I just get a word with the watchmaker?
He's just patiently standing outside.
And then another guy
comes and waits behind him and this guy's like a big uh burly guy with like he had i think they're
versace sunglasses that have like a big gold uh arms yeah yeah yeah cool and i hear the two of
them having a little discussion of like,
well, I'm just going to go in.
Well, you can't go in because I'm first in line.
Well, but are you dropping something off or picking something up?
Well, I'm just going to go in.
Don't you dare go in.
And they were having like a little back and forth.
This is the busiest watch fixer in town.
Yeah.
And then a third guy comes up and opens the door and then the two other guys are like there's a line
and then a fourth guy shows up and i just see him throw his hands up and be like
oh i'll come back later like scrappy there's gonna be a fight what's the name of this watch
shop go time it's go time buddy you actually have to take your
watch off to fight yeah have you been chopping wood no i got into a fight in the lineup yeah
i did have to fist fight my way in here could that have caused my watch trouble
yeah i went to uh sub gravity levels in a plane that wouldn't have done it right
he's looking at the watch how quickly did you open the door to get in here I went to a sub gravity levels in a plane that wouldn't have done it. Right.
He's looking at the watch.
How quickly did you open the door to get in here?
That may have disrupted the chopping wood. Was there a glowing,
uh,
kryptonite to rock anywhere near you?
Um,
have you been abducted by aliens during the last month?
Yeah.
Three minutes.
This is odd.
Watch been up Christopher Watkins butthole at any point.
Um,
so like would he fix digital watches or is this purely he's doing the tiny
little work?
He's just,
Oh yeah.
And he would like,
so he has a machine that you take the watch,
you,
it rattles around in the machine and he can tell how fast or slow it is.
Oh shit.
So he fixed the problem.
And that was like 15 minutes.
And then the rest of the time he was like,
I can get it a little closer to being like,
yeah,
yeah.
Just like gaining or losing one second a day.
And so the rest of the time you're like,
Oh,
just one more adjustment.
Take the back off.
Screw a bit, put the back back like, oh, just one more adjustment. Take the back off. Screw a bit.
Put the back back on.
Put it in the rattling machine.
You can get a little closer.
Oh, shit.
I did too much.
Now it's 10 minutes ahead.
Anyways, I ran out of time.
Now it's actually a time machine.
Now, one of my many siblings, this is what he did for a living.
He was a watch and clock repair guy.
Wow.
Yeah.
And he was, he specialized in like, he was one of the few people in the country that really, that could do antique stuff.
You could send, so people from all over the country would send them stuff like old watches and clocks and everything.
That's cool.
Yeah. It was really i
was always fascinated watching them work you have the little jeweler's eye the little thing
and the tiniest the tiniest little tools and uh that's um my parents have a grandfather clock and
there has to like a guy has to come over and like there's weights and he has to like fix the weights
in terms of uh i don't think that
maybe there's a guide on youtube now change your own weights or put big grandfather clock as like a
piece of furniture but you want that sweet sweet noise on the hour you know
my mother had a cuckoo clock right it wasn't well she had a cuckoo clock. It wasn't, well, she had a cuckoo clock, but the clock I'm talking about,
she had this other clock that was like each of the 12 numbers represented a
different bird.
And when it would hit the,
the hour,
it would give the bird sound,
but it was like,
it sounded like no bird you've ever heard.
It was all beat up and warbled this old clock from way too long.
So it'd be like three o'clock,
some horrible demon noise,
you know,
and then four o'clock,
there are no birds that make that sound and it would go all night.
So when I would come home to stay with mom,
you know,
she's just dead to the world.
She's,
it's nothing to her.
She's so used to it.
But in the middle of the night,
every hour I'd be woken up with terrified um so so eventually this guy finished my uh my watch and then uh you know
he gave it back to me i paid him i left and as i'm leaving there's two the two guys the guy who's
been first in line tells the guy who's at second in line who he wouldn't let go past him he tells
him all right you can go ahead and the guy in second line is like i didn't go through all that
to just go in now you go ahead so they're gonna have another fight as i was leaving well i'm
curious uh what is the what is the damage for uh watch maintenance this
the guy was this was 50 okay so good for him like i'm gonna earn this 50 bucks by getting this to
the second yeah yeah that's good service it's because he he charges by the shake
cleaners really and it was uh yeah it's like a uh you know one of these few places uh that where you can't use a
debit card right cash only he said i do cash or check well good i have my checkbook here
big feathered pen I'm still writing three minutes fast on my check
so
I'm going to date this tomorrow
because of obvious reasons
anyway so that was
my big outing for the week
how about you
my big outing
well this week I went
to a wrestling live live wrestling match.
Oh, my.
Yeah.
There's past guest Stacey McLaughlin and her husband bought, her husband and somebody else bought a wrestling ring.
What?
Yeah, yeah.
They bought a wrestling ring.
We bought a zoo.
I think the actual name of the event was we bought a wrestling ring
so like in a full like brand new uh i guess you you take it apart and store it or whatever but
it's like many many it's enormous right it's enormous yeah yeah it was inside like a legion
it's like that's where we were watching the wrestling where do you buy it do they get it on craigslist yeah it's like i mean it yeah contact me at bam bam bigelow at gmail
it feels like that's something you buy used yeah no this was brand new that's what i assumed i
assumed it was a used one and maybe had some blood on the ropes and stuff but this was
this was brand new first outing uh apparently they
ordered it back in march and it only showed up a week before the event so oh my god the
the tracking number yeah this is coming in 400 different packages
yeah here's part one of the turnbuckle and someone's been eating the turnbuckle
so but i'm confused by this now so they bought a wrestling ring and then what do you just you
hire wrestlers to come over and wrestle for your entertainment or put it together are they wrestling
promoters yeah they've started their own wrestling promotion called boom wrestling and uh
they had a plot line going they had a very funny plot line of uh a guy who was friends with the
family that bought it and uh the mother had made a painting of him and a baby there his uh niece or
whatever and then uh right away the bad guy took it and
smashed it over his head so that his head came through like a cartoon and uh that was pretty
good that was a good moment uh there were a couple kids there with the big headphones on
so it was too loud or whatever and they were booing they were taught how to boo and uh and
but the greatest thing was it was there were kids there
and the guy yelled at the mom who did the painting he's like your painting looked like shit
um anyways it was a ton there's a ton of fun but that's we well stacy it was stacy mclaughlin
yeah her husband not the most likely past guest, I think, to own a wrestling ring.
Yeah.
No, I think you're...
I mean, you've had Kevin Banner on the show before, right?
We have had Kevin Banner.
That would be my first.
If you said one of our previous guests owns a wrestling ring, I'd say, is it Kevin Banner?
Does he have it in the backyard?
He was actually supposed to be the announcer for the evening and i think uh had to back out because of something some health thing and uh so but he's
gone in there and he's he's uh he's duked it out he's been in like yeah he's he's been blasted into
the turnbuckle and the whole deal yeah these guys by a guy called darth vader. Zoom or I can't remember but I think it was
probably Darth Vader
Dr. Doom
Darth Vader, Dracula
yeah
Oliver Twist
but
it was really fun to watch
and it's fun when there's kids
there that are just being
in awe of the whole thing it's good
clean family entertaining except for that guy said your painting looks like shit yeah was there uh
the times i've gone to local wrestling things too much blood they play up the blood oh no this was
there was no blood during these matches um past guest kyle find Find was playing a character that owned
2% of the company
and was telling
everybody what to
do.
And you better
believe he got
socked in the balls
when he tried to
get into the ring.
You better believe.
They would
sometimes come to
my hometown,
Stampede Wrestling
out of Calgary.
Yes.
I used to go.
They would go on
the road sometimes
and a couple times
they came to my
hometown and they
would set up in,
initially it was set up in the high school and then later they would, when the road sometimes. And a couple of times they came to my hometown and they would set up in, initially it was set up in the high school.
And then later they would, when the bigger facility was built,
the rec plex was built, they'd set up there.
But I remember they,
one time when they were set up in the high school gym and one of the bad
guys, there was the chic, not the iron chic, but just the chic.
Just regular chic. And one of the bad guys that was there, the Sheik, not the Iron Sheik, but just the Sheik. Regular Sheik.
Just regular Sheik.
And he, you know, he took off his, you know, the kind of hat thing that a Sheik wears with the long thing down your back.
So it doesn't, your neck doesn't get sunburned.
You know that thing?
Oh, like the French Legion kind of hats or no?
Yeah. Yeah.
Like the kind of, so it's kind of like the turban thing thing but then it's got the long thing at the back right uh so he's about to wrestle so he takes it off sets it down the
corner and uh local man burt kelly runs up grabs it and just wings it underneath the ring so now
when he's done he's gonna and you just see in his face like ah jesus now i gotta climb under the friggin ring i hate these local little
but i like that's the big question that i have is where do you store a ring
when it's not in use because it would take you'd have to have a whole storage locker right
because certain pieces wouldn't be breakdownable like the, I don't know, isn't there a spring or something under it so that people don't fall through?
Yeah, it's all like springs.
It's like a canvas on top of springs.
It's a squared circle.
It's a squared circle.
That's true.
It's not quite an octagon, but it is a squared circle.
I think it breaks down pretty small, though.
I hope so, because.
You could put it in a purse.
Standard purse.
Not like an opera purse, but, you know, standard clutch.
Yeah.
A clasp purse.
Yeah.
So that was a lot of fun.
And then last night I did something that I feel like I should have done maybe two decades ago.
I watched the movie Demolition Man.
Okay.
Which, have you guys seen demolition man is that wesley snipes yeah and uh sylvester stallone sylvester stallone and and sandra
i saw it in theater really yeah yeah i haven't seen it does it have taco bell in it yes in the future there's only
taco bell that's the only restaurant they have and it's huge and it's a fancy dining place with
they i think won the silver award for uh product integration but apparently because they did the
taco bell thing in america but taco bell nobody knows it overseas so they had to dub in Pizza Hut in all the scenes
and then also had to digitally insert
Pizza Hut so that you couldn't see the Taco Bell
logo which was
I thought pretty cool and then I looked
at the tie-in commercial
and the commercial is great
it has clips from the movie
if you buy the demo
combo you get a giant
pop with a collector cup and a free poster of the
movie demo combo is pretty good i like that yeah what did they still do malicious do they still do
product tie-ins at restaurants they must they do like movie tie-ins oh they do have they do
happy meals that have like yeah minions i think like Subway did They were like some second tier
Tie in like
Mrs. Pettigrew or something like that
Mrs. Pettigrew lives for a day
Yeah come to Quiznos
For our Englishman that walked up a hill
And came down a mountain
Promo pack
Yeah you can get a Hugh Hefner t-shirt if you...
But the movie is so funny.
And then I was...
Is it funny like a comedy or is it...
It is funny like a comedy because in the future,
everything is peace-loving and they're not allowed to swear.
And Sylvester Stallone, he's in a cryogenic container.
And they have to melt him to fight Wesley Snipes.
What is the plot?
So Sylvester Stallone and Wesley Snipes are enemies in the past, in 1992, 1994.
And then he frames, Wesley Snipes frames sylvester stallone and they're both frozen
and that's their jail sentences that they're frozen in this uh ice block and then he's he's
thawed in the year 2034 and no 2032 yeah and it's surprising how many things they, uh, got right. Uh,
cause all the cars are electric and,
uh, they all self drive.
Uh,
you can turn it on self drive or turn it off.
And,
uh,
yeah,
well,
there were some other things that I was like,
Oh yeah,
that's,
that's Canon with the current year.
But,
uh,
something that was very funny.
I only learned it after the movie is uh stallone is
frozen in this uh ice cube and he's suspended by a hook and then apparently somebody found
uh one of the dummies that was in the frozen ice thing at an antique store in Australia. And it is the fucking weirdest looking.
It's this rubber,
rubber,
naked Sylvester Stallone.
No penis.
It was asked,
is there a penis?
No penis.
Oh,
I was about to ask.
Yeah.
But it's also BYO penis.
You can,
you can attach any penis you like.
They freeze you naked,
but they put a little yarn sock on your Johnson.
And it's funny cause yarn they're,
uh,
programmed with the program with like abilities while they're in the frozen,
uh,
ice cube.
And his thing that he learns is knitting.
He doesn't understand why he's so good at knitting.
And, uh, Wesley Snipes got all this this killer he's become like a more efficient killer and uh so it's just just knits oh that is
very funny yeah and it's a sweater for sandra bulking he's like i didn't even know i could knit
but um i in my head i because i didn't see either of these movies i always get it confused with
judge dread which is which i think is also futuristic but not funny and there have been uh at least two
different versions of judge dread to one with sylvester stallone and then like the gritty one
australian guy yeah there's more of a gritty version um was that carl urban yeah yeah yeah
yeah keith urban keith urban yeah the australian guy rob schneider is in both so
maybe that ties the judge oh he's in dread and yeah yeah he's he's like a receptionist
in the demolition man so that must have been hot off his like uh copy oh yeah making copies
demolition knitting sweaters
um and uh yeah it's it's a blast if you've never seen demolition man it's so funny it's so over
the top it's so silly but it actually knows that it's funny which is kind of endearing but it's
you know what i think is a real underrated movie.
Didn't do any box office was a total dud at the box.
I was fantastic movie.
And that's quick change with Bill Murray,
Gina Davis and Jason Robards.
Such a good movie.
Yeah.
And,
um,
for whatever reason,
uh,
that it promoted or it got shelved and short live short life in the theater but it's good
and uh it's funny quick change yeah it's fantastic movie yeah i recommend it go download that on your
whatever platform whatever platform carries movies that didn't do so well the new um the the new
fletch movie came out with Jon Hamm. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I heard it's good.
It looks good.
And I was like, oh, this is the perfect Saturday night rental.
Oh, yeah. I watched it on TV, and I went to rent it.
It was $30.
I was like, well, no, it's not that perfect.
What platform is that on?
Because I want to give that a whirl, because it's more like the books, right?
It's more because the Chevy Chase version was pretty wacky with the crazy costumes you know
um i think it is uh it was just on like on apple tv you could just get it from apple i think it's
on every like because it's not free yeah because it's not streaming as part of anything. It's available to rent everywhere.
Yeah.
But I think it looks good.
He's kind of the perfect guy, I think.
And I've heard good things about it.
A lot of people are like, why was this given such short shrift in the theater?
Because this is really actually quite good.
Because people are fickle.
They want a demolition man or such.
Some sort of man involved in demolition.
Well, they know that I want to see uh top gun in the theater but i don't want to see it in may
june july august or september so they're gonna keep it in theaters until i want to see it next
month yeah it was funny like uh the tiny theater that's walking distance from where I live, where you live.
It was showing Top Gun for so long.
And then it'll show, like, the tiniest little movie.
Like, there was one called, like, Ride My Bicycle or something like that.
I'll drive my car, yeah.
But now they're showing See How They Run.
And then, yeah, is that good?
Sam Raquel, maybe? I don't know. Yeah, yeah yeah i have a list of movies i want to see and i haven't gone to a theater in a long time
but all the movies i want to see are still in theater like nope is still in theater top gun
is still in theater um skip uh dr strange that's the only big one that i saw in theaters oh no i saw an open the theater
pretty good um but yeah we just we just watched it on uh the tv we just downloaded we streamed
it the other night what do you think it was good i really enjoyed it but it was one of those and
this happens to me quite quite often probably i get the feeling this happens to me more than it
does to most people i i enjoy stuff even though i don't know what the hell's going on yeah and there was a lot of that for me with nope i was like i don't get this but i'm
totally engaged yeah yeah i'm i'm the same like i don't know what's happening at the end of every
movie i'm like that was pretty good even if it was really really bad i'm like well it was still
pretty good i think for me i think it comes from watching so much british um like
british crime shows and you know a lot a lot of times the accent is so thick you you're missing
dialogue 80 of the dialogue is whistling past you like police procedural dialogue you know it from
a from a show in the states i'm missing most of the dialogue if you add on to it like a you know
a thick welsh accent
or something now i don't know what the hell's going on but i still enjoy it i think that's where
i've developed this ability to uh enjoy things that i don't understand the hell that's my
superpower yeah he's got a tremendous capacity for not understanding and it's brent's critics
corner is a yet another film i didn't
understand but let me tell you what i like yeah i give this five question marks yeah two hours and
20 minutes do you guys want to move on to some overheards yeah yay hi i'm hal loveland and i'm
mark gagliardi and we're the hosts of we got this with mark and
hal the weekly show where we settle the debates that are most important to you that's right what
arguments are you and your friends having that you just can't settle apples or oranges marvel or dc
fork versus spoon chocolate or vanilla best bagel what's the best disney song we got this with mark
and hal every week on maximum fun we do the arguing so you don't have to.
Oh, all answers are final for all people for all time.
We got this.
Most game shows quiz contestants about topics they don't even care about.
But for more than 100 episodes, the Go Fact Yourself podcast has asked celebrity guests trivia about topics they choose for themselves.
And introduce them to some of their personal heroes along the way.
Oh my gosh.
Shut up.
Oh, I feel like I'm going to cry.
Oh my gosh.
It's so, so exciting.
Join me, Jake Heath Van Stratton.
And me, Helen Hong.
Along with guests like DJ Jazzy Jeff, Yardley Smith, Roxanne Gay, and so many more
on the Trivia Game Show podcast, Go Fact Yourself.
Twice a month, every month, on Maximum Fun.
Overheard.
Overheards, if you're lucky enough to hear something so, so sweet,
so, so delicious, share it, why don't you?
And that's what we like to do here on the podcast.
And we always like to start with the guest.
Brent, do you have an overheard?
I do.
I was out grocery shopping, getting some sundries down at The Choices, you know, bc chain of grocery stores here in british columbia
and um so as i'm walking into choices there's a um a mom and her young son coming out i'd say
i guess the kids like seven is my guess mom is i don't know 36 that's not so they're coming out the door as i'm like walking up to the door and the mother
has she's like got a kind of a wry look on her face and she says because there's i guess we're
in fall now so there's like a pumpkin display just inside the door so they've just passed the
pumpkins and she's saying to her son she says, and the pumpkins are saying, oh, my gourd.
And she's making this joke.
And the little boy goes, what?
And she goes, the pumpkins are saying, oh, thank gourd.
And he goes, what are you talking about?
And she goes, the pumpkins, they're called gourd.
And the kid's like,'re named the pumpkin gourd like it's a like gordy how you know and she goes
she gets frustrated she goes no gourd is another it's like another name for pumpkin like it's a
scientific name for pumpkin and the kid goes well nobody knows that just like your your arcane jokes aren't gonna fly here mom
your science jokes aren't gonna fly i'm seven scientific word but yeah the kid was just rolled
his eyes like nobody knows that this is some weird thing you know okay yeah i'm seven i know
what people know that's why i like his notion that the fact he
didn't know it meant nobody knows nobody knows yeah this reference sucks you're playing only
to the back of the room nobody knows that this made but she was really selling it she was like
leaned into him like kind of giving him the old cutie and the pumpkin they're like oh my god
she's waiting for the big laugh.
He's like, what?
I guess I wouldn't have got it either if I was nine.
I'd be like.
Well, in the kid's defense, there's no real joke.
It's a pretty weak joke.
But as a parent, you sort of know what your kids know.
If I did that to my kids, I'd be like, they don't know that this is a gourd.
This isn't pumpkin slang we're throwing around the house.
Pumpkin slang. Because the only name associated with pumpkin
for the logic is Jack, right? Jack is the only pumpkin.
Gourd. Also gourd. Gourd, yes. Also gourd.
Jack-o-gourd. Gord O'Lantern.
That's Jack O'Lantern trying to make an appointment via phone.
Jack O'Gord.
Okay.
Dave, do you have an overheard?
Yeah, mine is an overseen.
Oh, also, before I forget, A few weeks ago on the podcast
We were trying to remember
Married couples who had been guests on the
Podcast
I thought we were guessing people who got married
On the podcast
Tiny Tim
That's right
I officiated
Benefer
Oh Benefer nice Benefer 1 and 2 I officiated Bennifer. Oh, Bennifer, nice.
Bennifer one and two.
But I realized we forgot
Brent and Nancy.
That's right.
And a lot of people noticed I forgot my own wife.
But I've never guessed it on the show.
I'm only hosting.
That's right.
It sometimes feels like I'm along with the ride.
Okay. My overseen is this uh i went to the a rock and roll concert last week cool i went to see uh the comedy party rock band
the sloppy boys the sloppy boys was it good yeah it was fun. What fun? Oh, what fun.
And, yeah, you know, we love, we stay in the Sloppy Boys.
Don't we, folks?
Let's hear it for them.
But there were two guys ahead of me, or one guy was standing in front of me at the concert,
and he was holding two tall boys of Pabst blue ribbon.
Classic.
And then his friend came over also holding two tall boys of Pabst blue
ribbon.
And then they cheers to all four.
That's fun.
It was very cute.
That was the way I oversee.
Um,
what is,
I have never heard their music,
but I've heard their name,
which is a good name for a band.
Is it just straight up rock and roll?
It's, you know, it's a comedy band.
Oh, it is.
They sing silly songs?
Yeah, they're comedians.
Oh, that's cool.
They have a podcast as well.
Called Sloppy Boys?
Yeah.
Well, there's a big shout out for the Sloppy Boys.
Believe me, they don't need it.
Oh, buddy. for the sloppy boys believe me they don't need it oh buddy um but uh but those two guys that were um
uh cheersing cheersing i uh i talked to them after and he was like yeah we never see each other my
i'm from here my my buddy's from over in calgary like i grew up in calgary and then i you know what
i asked yeah i do know what you asked i said what
high school did you go to he said bishop something oh yeah bishop grandin it was not bishop grandin
it was a different bishop high school oh shoot bishop oh bishop e carroll maybe maybe yeah um
yeah let's go with that bishop e carroll uh high school what a time that's great
them all cheers he's very cute yeah yeah it was fine it was fine i like that kind of thing
um uh my overhead is courtesy of sitting on a patio and uh there was a table, like a picnic table of people, almost, yeah, all women except for one guy.
And the one guy said, so I took my cat out on a leash and all of them went.
Audible gas.
Yeah.
How much longer, how much more patio season do you think you have, Graham?
I'll take it right into Octoberober november if i can because they'll they'll put heating things up and i'll
i'll layer up and have a drink outside no problems um well here it's not a heat issue it's a
rain issue yeah yeah no then i have to go for covered covered patios there's quite a few in the city um but you know i may never go inside a bar ever again just just get a big old paddington hat
and sit out there in the rain yeah with your drinking your caesar or whatever there's a
in our neighborhood there's two like public plazas plazas plazas and uh they have uh one of them you're allowed to drink at and the
other one you're not and they have a sign up saying oh you can drink you can have alcohol
here uh from 11 a.m until like 2 a.m nice and but 365 days a year i just like the idea of like
november in the pouring rain.
So I was like,
Oh God,
is it 11 a.m.
yet?
I got to go drink illegally in the plaza.
No,
in the,
in the winter times,
they let you smoke cigars in the plaza.
The rest of the year it's off.
But if you want to smoke a cigar,
Oh yeah.
There's a place in,
there's a place in LA.
I don't know if it still exists or not. They were the fence there was some complaints so they might be shut down by now
but last time i was in la last few times i went it's like the uh the one of vista cigar bar or
something like that it's called and you could it's a bar you sit you order a drink, but you can also smoke a cigar there.
Cool.
And I just, it seemed like such an old timey thing to do.
I would always try and find, make a time to do that when I was there.
Do you smoke a cigar when you do it?
Yeah.
So you go have a bar, have a beer or a whiskey or something, sitting up at the bar and get a cigar.
I usually get like a little short.
I didn't know you partook in cigars.
I do.
Yeah.
I enjoy a cigar.
You do it at home as well?
On, okay.
It's not, I wouldn't say it's like a big part of my, you know, well, after every
dinner, I go outside and have a cigar.
But like, you know, maybe like three, four times a year, I'll, you know, set out in the back.
How long does it take to smoke a cigar?
Well, they're all different sizes.
I like to get, I smoke burritos, which are very small.
It's a short smoke.
Is that the slogan?
It's a short smoke.
It's a short smoke.
Yeah.
Do you, uh, I thought their slogan was take a sniff pull it out
um yeah i that's how i got into smoking was uh i smoke cigars because i thought that's what
all comedians had yeah george burns is a terrible yeah sid caesar these were the cool comics when I was a kid. Milton Berle.
His giant, giant penis.
I didn't know that at the time.
Take a sniff and pull that out.
Couldn't wait to grow up and have a giant penis.
An adult comedian with a giant penis.
Well, I better start smoking cigars.
Still waiting.
We also have Overheard sent in by people all over the world.
If you want to send one in to us, you can send it in to spy at maximumfund.org.
This first one comes from Jordan W. in Wichita, Kansas.
I was on a flight from Chicago to Wichita, and the flight attendant made this announcement.
I'll be walking up and down the aisle with a trash bag for anything you would like to disregard and if you don't have anything then disregard this message
put this message in the bag yeah that seems like it's something that was
translated from english and back again yeah disregard disregard um that was another funny thing in the
demolition man is sandra bullock kept getting phrases wrong because she was uh she didn't speak
20th century so she kept saying like uh you know blow me and he's like no blow me away like it was
always one word short anyways you guys got to see
demolition man yeah this is like i was really pushing this demolition man i work for taco bell
taco bell the back end here some gorilla marketing um this next one comes from phil from oshkosh
which is the home of oshkosh. But gosh, of course it is.
Yeah.
What is it?
Wisconsin?
Uh,
I don't know.
It's Oshkosh,
but Oh yeah,
I think it is Wisconsin.
And,
they still make kids clothes.
Uh,
they don't make any adult clothes anymore,
but,
uh,
this is,
what's his name?
Uh,
Phil,
Phil from Oshkosh.
This is Phil from baby gap.
Um, he, uh, said walking, Phil. Phil from Oshkosh. This is Phil from Baby Gap. He said,
walking the dogs in my beautiful
Wisconsin neighborhood. So there you go, Wisconsin.
Saw a pearly white PT
cruiser with the plate
GMA
NIPS.
So GMA-NIPS.
So Grandma... Grandma's nips so grandma grandma's nips good morning america nips
uh yeah uh got gamma gamma nits like uh hulk yes is gimme nips uh these are all good possibilities and a pc cruiser nice we we need
al dubois here to to unstump these bumper stumpers um did you watch that brand bumper stumpers i did
yeah in fact i bonded with a good friend over that's how i became friends with somebody was bumper stumpers andrew carr and i uh comedian comedy writer andrew car and i we started out in the comedy
scene about the same time a couple of saskatchewan guys and we decided we were going to move to
calgary and he knew um he knew he was friends with these two gals that had a bead on quite a big apartment, but they couldn't afford it for themselves.
Right.
So there was like, well, the four of us will go in, right?
This is pre-friends.
And so we were way ahead of our time.
So anyway, so I didn't know either of the gals.
They were friends with Andrew, but I didn't know either of them.
And so the morning that we moved in at night night and i knew that this was going to be the
case the next morning andrew had to be away and donna had to be away so it was just going to be me
and this gal linda that i didn't know and it was like it was like hello i live with you now right
it's going to be a weird morning thing and so i i stayed in my
bedroom as long as i could because i was delaying this awkward meeting i could hear her out puttering
around in the kitchen so eventually that had happened sometime so i came out hello hello and
she's kind of shy and it's kind of an awkward thing so we're sitting there for like the first
half hour very little chat you know coffee and just kind of and then bumper stumpers came on
tv and for whatever reason i just oh i love this show and i jumped up and i started like
with the uh theme song was like the car horn honking
and i was like bouncing around honk honk and i realized i was like three or four honk honks
into it before i was like oh i don't know this gal very well
anyway i turned and looked at her and she was cracking up she was laughing and then that well
that kind of uh burst the what do you call broke the ice yeah and then we were fast friends ever
since and so andrew and donna were both their whole day was like oh no i wonder how brent and
linda are going to get along we left them there and they came back uh to the house at the same
time and we were just you know they just found us cracking each other up yeah and uh we all became
we were all very good friends after that nice yeah it's a bumper stumpers brought us together
that theme song it's i hadn't thought of it in many years but it's playing in my head
it was genius putting the car horn hon playing in my head now. It was genius putting
the car horn honk in the bumper
stomp. Oh, yeah. Honk, honk.
Honk, honk.
This last one
comes from Corey in Ottawa
walking past a visually
impaired girl and her friend on the sidewalk.
The visually impaired girl exclaimed
there were only two
poles in the entire field and i ran into both of them
why does this always happen to me that happens to me even with vision yeah 2020 vision
just uh just the idea of there only being two obstacles and somehow magnetized towards them.
I would do the same.
I would be a disaster if I was visually impaired.
Yeah.
Well, I remember we were talking about extra work last week.
And I remember one time I was an extra.
They were like, walk across this courtyard.
And I remember being like, oh, no no that other x was coming the other way
and like we're on the path i could just tell from the speed we were both walking
20 seconds it's gonna be a long time but we will collide
and you know you're so nervous you're on set you don't want to ruin it but
they told me to walk this path and i'm gonna take down this extra dressed as a nun yeah and this director was like you know what
i liked it i liked it when those background uh guys clung i like that you improvised the
clothesline where you just clotheslined the nun and dropped her on her back that was
we're gonna keep that the elbow drop we could have done without but
we didn't know there was a turnbuckle out there.
In addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls.
If you want to call us, our phone number is 1-844-779-7631.
That's one.
Ugh.
SpyPod 1, like these people have.
And you know what's coming here.
Same time. please join me.
Percussive car horn, huh?
Oh, man. Over stubbers. That's, man.
Overstubbers.
Wow.
The highest resolution video you could find.
All right.
Phone call.
Here we go. Hi, Dave, Graham, and guest.
This is Josh from Chicago.
Calling in with an overheard.
Some friends were over at our place visiting with their kids
recently, and the
little boy, who's about five,
came out of our bedroom
covered in a white sheet,
and he said,
I'm the ghost of
old tacos.
I sneak into your
bathroom.
Pretty good. Pretty good costume. Yeah. The ghost of old tacos. I sneak into your bathroom.
Pretty good.
Pretty good costume.
Yeah.
The ghost of old tacos.
Yeah, you just slap a Taco Bell sticker on a ghost.
There you go.
Easy peasy.
When was the last time you guys saw somebody dress like a ghost?
Oh, boy.
Like Halloween, nobody does just cheat over the head ghost anymore.
Charlie Brown. Charlie Brown turned everybody off that because he just got rocked yeah kids were like i'm not gonna dress
up with like a ghost or just get rocked yeah yeah but if you dressed up like charlie brown dressed
up like a ghost i think the classic halloween costume i have seen that uh that sort of like
a cartoon costume is someone with an actual pumpkin on their head
like wearing a suit with a pumpkin on their head yeah that's fun but like a real like a real gourd
yeah they're gonna need to really shampoo after this that'd be good if you had like a little
hello my name is gourd on that'd be like a deep cut or jack Jack. Jack might also be acceptable.
Those are the two though, right? Patch could be. What was it?
Patch? Pumpkin Patch?
Oh, sure.
That's the
Dr. Pumpkin.
Patch Adams.
Here's your next phone
call. Gentlemen, your next phone call.
Gentlemen, hello.
And guests.
This is Nathan from Chicago.
I was working behind the bar the other evening,
and one lady to another said,
if this baby isn't born
on Fred Durst's birthday,
I'm going to fuck a bitch up.
All right.
Guy had a good chuckle at the end of that.
Yeah.
Ah, yes.
Was that the same caller as the first one?
Maybe.
I think so.
Yeah.
It was the same name, voice, and city.
So that's all I have to go by.
But he had a better phone connection this time
i mean if you if pressed i don't think i would know red durst's birthday uh i want to say i
want to say he's a gemini that's my guess he's uh somewhere in the gemini's um uh boy if i looked
up his i'm looking at his birthday august 20th but now I need to look up what is a Gemini?
Yeah.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Yeah.
What's your sign, Brent?
Leo.
Oh yeah.
Just like Fred Durst.
One of my best moments was one time my buddy said to me, what's your, we were eating lunch
and he had the paper open and he said, he said,
what's your sign?
I said,
Leo natural born leader.
And he went,
and I say,
you don't believe me,
follow me.
And I started walking away and he fought,
he walked behind me for about five or six steps before he realized he had
been sucked in.
But I think that was my comedic high watermark right there.
That was the best.
Yeah.
You don't believe I'm a leader.
Follow me.
Start walking away and damned if you didn't follow
yeah I feel like I had a great
joke on stage once
like bantering back and forth
with the audience and something about
this woman that had turned into a
vegetarian but the thing that she missed
the most was cold turkey and I was like yeah
because you had to quit cold turkey
and I was like no I don't have that on video there's no way to prove that happened
could you please come to other shows with me and yeah can i say you up for this i'll give you 60
percent of my fee terrible negotiator that would be great to have somebody in the audience who's
just serving up bits for you
like you're a genius.
Here's your final phone call.
Hi there, this is Beth from Victoria,
BC. I have an old
overheard from 2008
that I'd forgotten
about when I worked
at Old Morris
Tobacconist, which is this beautiful, old, historic store
in downtown Victoria.
It's actually a historic site.
It's BC's oldest tobacconist.
Actually, the oldest tobacconist in Western Canada.
So it was a historic site, and we often got tourists in who were just looking around because
it was a neat building.
But our favorite customer was this very sweet elderly man named Mr. Sherwin,
who'd been a customer for over 50 years, and he came in one or two times a week
for a particular pipe tobacco blend, Caledonia, that we thought was special for him.
And when he came in, he was always smoking a pipe, which technically wasn't allowed.
But because he was very grandfathered in, the staff knew not to tell him to stop smoking his pipe in the store because he'd been there way longer than us.
And plus, it smells fine, so no one really minded.
But one day in the summer, when tourists were everywhere, these yuppie tourists who were in the store
and definitely not going to buy anything.
They took offense to him smoking his pipe
and told him he couldn't be smoking inside
and that the secondhand smoke was harming them.
And he just calmly turned to them and said,
I killed a man in the Korean War.
What makes you think I won't kill you too?
And they left in a huff and he very pleasantly finished his purchase.
And yeah,
he was the best.
Okay.
Off I go.
Bye.
Yeah.
I killed somebody in wartime.
I'm desperate to do it.
Not during wartime.
Yeah.
Keep waiting for another war.
They're not rolling around.
I mean,
I've just started improvising. I killed a man in korea with secondhand smoke that was a very detail rich
overheard it was yeah we learned his name we learned what the biggest tobacconist in western
canada is what blend he likes yeah you know that it's a tourist, that it's officially a note or whatever.
A heritage site or whatever.
I've been to that tobacconist.
Yeah? It smells great.
Oh yeah, tobacco store.
I didn't buy anything, but
I lived in Victoria for
four years. There's not much to do.
Do you smoke cigars in college?
That was a pipe guy.
That'd be a funny affectation for somebody living in a dorm room.
I imagine that is, there have been lots of guys who are like, because you're, you know, when you're young, you're in college, you're like trying to find yourself and be an individual.
And you know, there's somebody with a big pipe.
I'm a guy who smokes pipes.
Aren't I interesting, everybody everybody i wear a cape everywhere yeah i did have a i had a corncob pipe a button
nose and i had two eyes made of coal yeah it was a jolly happy soul for the time i think there
must have been some magic in that old silk yeah where did you find that silk
that's silk talk about your affectation the silk hat is what i was fine with the carrot nose yeah
you know dave the guy with the silk hat and the button nose people coming by pretending i'm parson
brown uh well that brings us to the end of the podcast here.
Brent, when does your book come out?
When can people dig into this?
What's the exact time?
Well, it's like a year from this fall.
So here's what I'm recommending to people.
Because I started, kind of did this on a lark.
I started like a little newsletter, mainly about the book.
It was like, if you want to be interested, if you want to be kept abreast of everything that's going on project wise and book info go to my website brentbutt.com and sign
up for the bulletins there's little bulletins and so like twice a month i'll send out a little
bulletin what's going on with the book and anything else that i'm working on and holy
holy christmas crackers it took off like there's thousands of people now that are
have joined my little newsletter thing so and i'm getting a kick out of writing these um
little so it's kind of become an ongoing concern for me cool that's what i recommend go to my uh
go to my website brentbutt.com sign up for the bulletins and and you'll be kept abreast of the
whole like people who are signed for the bulletins they'll be the first ones to see the cover for the bulletins and, and you'll be kept abreast of the whole, like people who are signed for the bulletins, they'll be the first ones to see the cover for the book.
Nice.
They'll probably get to read chapter one of the book before anybody else and that kind of stuff.
So, but anyway, yeah, the book's called huge.
It's kind of a scary psychological thriller about comedy, but it's not a comedy.
And it comes out in the fall of 2023.
but it's not a comedy.
And it comes out in the fall of 2023.
And if you are one of the first to see the cover of the book,
I got to give you some advice.
Don't judge a book by its cover.
Also, yeah, the cover will be three comedians wearing satin jackets.
Silk hats.
Silk hats. Silk hats, satin jackets.
Where they're pulling their pockets out like a pocket.
With a moth flying out.
But yeah, I'm really, I'm proud of the book and I've got really great feedback and had a couple of publishers bid on it.
Nice.
Yeah, so Double Day Canada is going to be a publisher in the fall of 2023.
All right, I'm going to buy it or
find a copy of it at the library.
I don't know
when this is going to, I was going to say air.
This will come out
the fall of 2026.
Damn it.
I'm hitting, if you're in Ontario,
I'm heading to Ontario next
week for Run a Stand-Up shows.
All the dates are on my website too, so I'll be doing like a week of stand-up in Ontario. You got heading to Ontario next week for run a standup shows. So you can, uh, all the schedule,
all the dates are on my website too.
So I'll be doing like a week of standup in Ontario.
You got to see Brent live rent,
but.com.
Yeah.
Thank you so much for being our guest and thank you everybody out there, uh,
for listening to the podcast.
And if you,
uh,
want to see the biggest tobacconist in Western Canada,
you know where to go. And come on back next
week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself.
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