Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 760 - Jackie Pirico

Episode Date: October 11, 2022

Comedian Jackie Pirico returns to talk The Langoliers, the tooth fairy, and car damage.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 760 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name's Graham Clark and with me as always is, uh, well, a guy that I got to see twice out in the world in the past week, which was fantastic for me, Mr. Dave Shumka. I don't remember. Okay, yeah, no, at one time you were sitting sitting eating uh having a beer and a snack yeah and one time was it just you were walking past while my kids were walking the dogs

yes and i said hey graham and i got two times in one week i love it um and your dogs were fighting not fighting but uh trying to get attention from other dogs yeah they're they're a problem uh well we just switched to front clip harnesses and uh the pulling is is uh on the way down okay with those were those were old school just neck harnesses those were back harnesses those were yeah they just had the clips on the back they kind of look like sports bras. We call them their sports bras. Yeah, if a dog did wear sports bras, it would have to be multiple. Oh, yes, I guess it would because of their many breasts. Our guest today, returning guest to the podcast, Oh So Funny.

She has a brand new album out called splash pad it's jackie pirico everybody hello fellas how are you i was really biting my tongue that whole dog conversation because you know when we're talking about pets it's really hard for me not to chime in well chime in now you're here okay well first of all how were the dogs trying to get the attention? Were they like, you who? They were wearing skirts and they were like showing their ankle. Yeah. Yeah. Dropping a hand handkerchief and whatnot.

Wasn't that that was an old timey lady drops the handkerchief. Let's the guy know she's down to clown. Yeah. I think that was their version of like the game yeah just all you needed was a scarf but also just to do with the dog's many breasts um that actually triggered me just now i'm triggered because it whenever anyone mentions like dog's boobs or nipples or whatever i get this flashback of when I was a child and sorry I'm already

trauma dumping on you and you're really leading with some controversial and your zoom window just gave a thumbs up emoji which I've never seen before what is that I just saw that too is it giving me the trauma dump?

Thumbs up. You got this. So I was in my great grandma, my great grandmother's front yard and my great grandmother had 10 children. Okay. And they were all older. So all my great aunts were there.

All my cousins, it was some family thing. And this dog was there and it had really like, I've never seen anything like it. I was really little, but it had like so much dog boobs. It was crazy.

And I got under this thing. Like a mechanic. And I wasn't like doing anything. Cause it was just kind of like, cause it was just standing there stiff, like some kind of oath and and it wasn't even carrying and I went on the ground on my back pulled under it like a car mechanic and it was just kind of like peeking poking around and like seeing these boobs and then I don't know who it was but someone was like Jackie get out from under that dog what are you doing and like i in my memory of it like 1 000 people all turned and

looked at me at once it was in the middle of a wedding it was it was like some function and i always remember that i i missed a couple of details how old were you oh i was probably like six maybe five or six like old enough to remember but not so old that it was you know some kind of indicator of like i was gonna grow up to be a serial killer or something yeah that's true rubbing the dog on your face at um how big how big was the dog it was big like it was i'm trying to think of what style it was it was it had short hair it was probably doggy style um it is first and foremost it was presenting doggy style what um uh so it was big so it wasn't like there was some distance between your face and the oh it's a big amount of distance like it really was as if and you know

i've seen my dad works on cars it was like it was it was up on a place that's how that ended my dad also slides under some dogs here and now. I've seen my dad do this a thousand times. It's old hat. It's like passed down. It's a family trade. But it was like the dog was up on a hoist and I was on one of those rolly things. Yeah.

There's a lot of distance. Your dad works on cars. Boy, my car is making the strangest noise. Would you be able to pass along a noise to him? Yeah, of course. You do the noise and I'll show him the strangest noise. Would you be able to pass along a noise to him? Yeah, of course. You do the noise and I'll show him the recording. Okay. Oh, Dave, I know what that is.

What? What is that, Graham? There's a chicken caught in the... Oh, yeah, yeah. I was trying to be a little more majestic, like a falcon or something. One of your enemies put a chicken in your exhaust pipe. like a falcon or something one of your enemies put a chicken in your exhaust pipe what's wrong with my exhaust pipe oh there's a chicken in it do we want to get to know us yes

get to know us jackie has your dad ever dealt with a banana in the tailpipe? The classic prank. Not that I know, not that I've heard of. Is it a professional thing or is he just into cars? Well, it's all and everything. So he owns a car dealership in my hometown. But he also, for as long as I remember, has muscle cars and works on them or restores them. Just a car hobbyist. Is it a one-car brand dealership?

No, it's a used car dealership, but he's one of the exclusive. He's the biggest dealer right now in a far and wide region of Ford Ranger trucks. Nice. If you want a Ford Ranger, you go see my dad. Okay, I will okay i don't well i do but uh it's very rarely that i find myself out in ontario i feel like if i had one it would be stolen valor my husband has one he bought it off my dad and i love the trick oh yeah you you're uh you're high up off the ground, bullying people in traffic. People are going underneath and looking at your boobs.

Did you pick up any of that when you were growing up? Did you do oil changes or change? I know nothing. So I know oil change is a thing and the rest of it. Graham, you know more than me. I'm the black sheep of my family. Okay, my brother and my dad are like car, car, car guys. All my life, cars, cars, cars.

I don't even have my license to drive. Oh, no, that must be. And I don't even, I can't, you know how people have like facial blindness? Yeah. I have that with cars. Like if someone's like, oh, what car are you driving? Or if like I'm waiting for an Uber and it tells you what kind of car means nothing to me i cannot tell i can tell a ford ranger truck yeah because your dad's the king of ford ranger he's the

ontarian king of the ranger but like oh yeah and then and my brother is and they're and they love like they're kind of like just machine heads and speed freaks. And like and my brothers always had like Pontiac Trans Ams and and and that kind of stuff. And like kind of, you know, and then and then he took it to the next level. And now he flies planes in the sky. And I still don't even drive on the ground. Which would you rather? Would you rather be able to drive on ground or fly through sky? Oh, my God. I don't want anything to do with either i'm so scared i'm so actually know what flying through the sky at least there's no one that's gonna get mad at you

well that's not true but like like if you're trying to parallel park and people are like come on like that's my biggest fear i definitely have that facial blindness with airplanes when i'm waiting for my airplane and it shows up it's like this is a boeing 747 and i was like oh i okay no you idiot it's an airbus a22 or whatever i don't know but that's so funny because my brother always bugs me about when i'm flying he's like what's your flight number and then he's like oh you're on like the something something i'm like yeah man and then he's like he flies professionally yeah he was flying for porter um but now he flies he was sick of commercial air flights and now he he got like upgraded credentials for huge boeing i don't know what is it seven triple seven or something And now he flies giant cargo jets all over the world.

Holy shit. Oh, cool. So he's like, you know, flying my packages around? He is, he is. And he loves it because it's not people. Because people are the biggest headache for a pilot, I guess. Oh, that hasn't been my experience. Everybody on planes around me has been wonderful and great. Oh, can I fly cargo?

I would like to fly, you know, if I'm just, if I'm going to Memphis, I'll just, you know, take a FedEx plane. Cause that's the only place. You just got to get one. You have to be able to fit in that envelope that they take in the slot. And if you want that envelope padded, it's like a hundreds of dollar upgrade. But I love the idea idea i love the approach um uh so do you like flying or no you don't like i don't mind flying yeah like i'm not a fearful flyer really um i always sit in the back though i always sit in the back on advice advice of my

pilot brother he's like you, if anything goes pear shaped, that really is your best fighting chances to be in the back of the plane. Holy shit. Yeah. If you ever, if you're flying and you see the pilots run toward the back of a plane, that's why they're doing it. You know that you're in trouble.

So, so I always sit in the back, but that comes with its own host of issues. Because that's the piss parade is filing past you the whole time. You sit in the back most, like the very, very back? Yeah, as far

back as I can get. Yeah, that last row, it truly is. First of all, the door's swinging open and you're getting that whiff every couple minutes. And you know what else you're getting is, and I'm not trying to begrudge them of this because they're at work and

they're allowed to be people at work, but like real, if it's an overnight flight, which I'm on a lot, really chat, loud, chatty cabin crew. Oh yeah.

Yeah. And it's like, people are sleeping. why are you flying overnight so much yes they'll saw that because i'm fancy and fancy people go on red eyes because then they get to say i'm taking a red eye yeah that is true it does sound fancy no it's because whenever we go we go to england to visit my husband's family like a couple times a year okay and that's often an overnight flight um and then when's the other overnight flight yeah i just when when it's like jet lag involved i find it easier to be flying through the night yeah that's true if you can sleep it off you ever find that the person next to you has always

decided they want to read for the whole time that seems to be my experience that would infuriate me i think that those lights in in the middle of a nighttime flight are very obnoxious yeah watch a movie there's a ryan reynolds movie on watch that um yeah dave you don't mind flying right you're all right i don't mind it i don't mind one bit yeah the nighttime daytime give it to me i don't i'm not even like uh i don't i'm i'll gladly take a 7 a.m flight or an 11 p.m flight just whatever he's into it yeah um yeah i prefer i i prefer either of those i don't want like a 4 p.m flight yeah that really sucks that's awkward yeah but graham are you a fearful fretful fire or confident cool confident fire cool confident i i will uh will fall asleep uh as soon as i'm in my seat i will pass out and just wake up when the plane's

landing so are you serious yeah oh that's so lucky that is is so lucky. Like once in a while, I'll wake up and be like, okay, I'll watch a movie. Like, um, let me guess. Ryan Reynolds. Ryan Reynolds.

Sure. You set your alarm so that you don't miss a Ryan Reynolds film. I watched the dumbest. It was a JLo and Owen Wilson, uh, joint called marry me. Oh no. That Me. Oh no. That is, oh boy.

That came out in theaters, I think. Yes. That was the one last year where they were like, the rom-com is back. Oh, really? I missed that. The rom-com is back and weaker than ever. The rom-com is back and it's severely

atrophied. Yeah, because like, you you know both of those actors are fantastic actors and fun to see on screen but that movie was that was king of silliness what a silly silly so the plot of that is she he he does she have a she's a singer yeah she's basically j-lo and she's going through a divorce or she got left by her partner i'm trying to piece together oh yeah you're doing very well so far and does she have a song called marry me or something and like owen wilson is in the crowd and holds up a sign that says marry me yeah and so she picks him out of the crowd and they get married. Yeah. I'm sorry. How do you know all of this? Oh, uh,

it was on the same flight. No headphones. Just seeing rubber neck in your screen. Uh, no, I, yeah, I don't know.

I guess I just like you clean this from the previews. No, I think I've heard people talk about it. But that is also really part of the zeitgeist. All that stuff is in the trailer. All that, like, she finds out that her Beyonce is cheating on her backstage at a show. And then she goes out and asks Owen Wilson to marry her. And then they're married.

And then they, you know, have a relationship together. Instead of just annulling the marriage the next day or whatever they they try to make it work oh do they get married on stage uh yes i think so was there an officiant then i don't know i was i fell asleep during it and then woke up at the end guys they stay together so oh wow okay oh sorry wow is his catchphrase i didn't mean to quote him i wasn't doing it the last film i watched was everything always happening everywhere at once yeah graham what did you think that was called? Over there, what is happening up and down?

Jesus Christ. Can I say, and you know what? Watching films during air travel does, you know, color your perception of them in certain ways, right? Like, it's different than watching it on the ground, but I didn't like it. No? I just was irritated by it. Was yes it was too totally random i like random not totally right i don't know it was just

i think this is such a cliched sentence but something you have to be in the mood for i don't know yeah i people went bonkers for it when it came out yeah and that was the problem too because i'd heard such great bonkers reviews and i went in with those in my head and i was like what yeah and everyone was like oh i can't tell you about it i can't well you just see it for yourself i can't tell you about it i don't want to tell you it's totally random. I watched my most recent flight. I watched the latest or last, I guess, Jurassic Park installment. And they should have done it three films ago.

I feel like they ran out of ideas pretty quick. But dinosaurs are in the regular world now. And people have to live with the fact that Tyrannosaurus Rex are running and running in Paris. Just on the sidewalk. It's like, yeah. Oh, I missed my subway today. I was full of one Tyrannosaurus Rex. But why would they even

want to be there, the dinosaur? why do they want the hustle and bustle of metropolis like look where they it's a living how many of them have you seen jackie um the i i saw obviously the first two were the best the bigs um and then I don't know if I missed a couple in there, but then the last one I saw was like with the, oh man, I'm pickled. Like I can't remember anybody's name. You know the guy that's Chris? I'm sure, no, Pine, no.

No, exactly, this is the problem. Pratt. Pratt, yeah, yeah. I think it was his first one. There's another one too. There's a fourth Chris, isn't there? Oh, Evans. Yeah, there's just so, we're just likeing with chris's here in showbiz but it was like

the first one with him and then um and then the daughter of ron howard um so that was lily rose howard oh yeah lily rose what is her name lily rose wait no that's Deb that's I would have immediately believed you but then I thought about it Bryce Dallas Bryce Dallas um and and I don't even really remember a lot about it I was just like she ran away from at one point from not a Tyrannosaurus but even bigger than that like uh they made their own dinosaur it was like dangerous or whatever like watch out mega mega dangerous or us and she runs away from it in high heels yes yeah i remember the heels i was like come on please this is so distracting it's so unbelievable she's she's afraid of uh dinosaurs she should be afraid of plantar fasciitis. Absolutely.

A deformed hallux bone. Otherwise known as a bunion. Do you... Yeah, I've only seen the first one. Wow, not even the second. Of all of them. And, you know, I wasn't gaga about it. I saw it in the theater when I was 12 or whatever. So you were 12 and you weren't gaga

about it? At 12 I was like, hmm, dinosaurs are for seven-year-olds. What were you into at that point? What would you get into? It was 1993, so what I would have been into was the parade of baseball movies that were coming out every three months.

Oh, yes, yes. So is this concluding the, like, Costner trilogy? The Costners. The Tom Selleck's Mr. Baseball. All the kids, the Rookie of the Year. Sandlot? Little Big League and the Sandlot. Yeah.

Yeah, wow. It was a good time for baseball movies. But what if they had done one where the dinosaurs stormed Yankee Stadium? Oh, man. Would you have sat through that at least yeah probably i mean you would have been like ease up on the dinosaurs more about the box scores please yeah there's a close-up of uh you know guys peanuts and cracker jacks and they're vibrating because a velociraptor manages to turn a double play but that is what the last one is like there's dinosaurs just around and uh like at the end of the movie the the whole thing is well we just got

to exist together so do the dinosaurs know that tr truth yeah exactly you stop holding up traffic brontosaurus and we won't launch a missile at you i guess you know what i thought of recently was that we were always being we were always being told about triceratops right like that was a big one in the dinosaur zeitgeist growing up that's true yeah is there just a ceratops singular like what where's where's the tri coming from it obviously is relative in relativity three horns doesn't it yeah but then so but doesn't that connote that like there is a guy with one there might be a guy with one it's like if that's the standard then why do we have to point out that there's three if that's the standard, then why do we have to point out that there's three? If that's the standard.

I don't know, but these are the things I ruminate about. I'm not sure it's worth questioning. Yeah, well, this is coming from a baseball freak. Sorry, it's not a question about baseball. I think you start asking these questions, it might get dangerous. People don't want you asking these questions. Big dinosaur. He wants you to keep your mouth shut. What type of movies were you into at age 12?

Was a young Jackie Pyrko wanting to watch? Oh, let's see. I loved, well, you know what? I loved all of those. Like, I loved The Sandlot so much. I loved Stand By Me. Oh, yeah. But like 12, I guess that's a little older.

When I was younger, I loved like all of that. I loved, The Never Ending Story was like my favorite, favorite, favorite movie was when I was quite little. Yeah. It's a magical film. Yeah. But I guess you were- I never saw the end of that. What happened to the horse?

Oh, oh, oh. Are you sitting down? Yeah. Oh no, I'm at a standing desk. desk he didn't he didn't make it what i thought you were saying how did it end because it's the never-ending story oh that's good too well that's good too yeah but other what else was i into like i loved like me and my brother loved like Siege and some action. I liked some action movies because of my brother.

Oh, what else was really great? The Edge with Alec Baldwin. Anthony Hopkins. I don't know if I was 12 per se, but these are the movies that stand out in my mind growing up. Me and my brother. Weird. The Edge. Yeah, because the ultimate was they were going to kill a bear.

They were going to fight and kill a bear they were gonna fight and kill a bear yeah the bear the whole but there was psychological stuff going on between alec baldwin and anthony hopkins to do with like an affair um there was there's a lot of stuff oh and i loved um uh true lies was a huge thing true lies so that kind of stuff action action flicks i loved action i feel like the um the edge i feel like that one was one that like everyone saw it on vhs they didn't even bother bringing it to dvd it wasn't in i exactly i don't i did not see it in theaters for sure but it was like it was it was huge a blockbuster but i also loved gearly stuff too like i love the joy luck club that's one of my favorite movies from around that time okay

yeah um too long food thanks for everything julie newmar was really good because it's funny because it had some like action stars in it but they were drag queens yeah but you you were like this is enough action stars for me yeah john lego action star but apparently now that that one that doesn't hold up as well apparently but i can't help but still have a nostalgic soft spot for it no i i can't imagine that would hold up well no because it was really not understanding whatsoever yeah it was mostly drag queens and trend like um trans women yeah yeah we were talking it was off air i think we were talking about the word transvestite with a couple weeks ago and how it was like such like a new york in the 70s it's so true in the meatpacking district and whatnot um yeah uh i think i saw two wong fu in the theaters

wow i'm not sure i'm not sure why but who is this patrick swayze uh wesley snipes wesley snipes and then wasn't there was three it was john leguizamo john leguizamo yeah they took they took her under their wing um did they go to a small town or something exactly and that's when it got kooky stopper shanning was in it oh really in it yeah um who else was julie newmar in it at all did julie newmar appear at the very tail end as the big surprise okay spoiler alert but do you know why it was called that yeah um because do you know or you want me to tell you I'm asking David how about you both say it at the same time

here we go 2, 3 what happened was keep going no 1 2, 3 because the photograph that Patrick Swayze's character carried around with him, the whole movie, I was inspired by.

At the end of the movie. From Julie Newmar. And it was, the place was called Wong Fu. Wong Fu's restaurant. And so it was to Wong Fu. And it was her autograph to Wong Fu. Thanks for everything. Thanks for everything.

Julie Newmar. So there you go. Okay, yeah. That's good. And who was Priscilla Queen of the Desert? Hmm, interesting. I'm glad you brought that up. And who was Priscilla, Queen of the Desert? Interesting. I'm glad you brought that up.

That's one of those midnight flicks. One of those, like, people go out to it all the time. Isn't it? Priscilla? Yeah, Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. Is that a Baz Luhrmann? No. Oh, I don't know. I haven't seen Priscilla, Queen of the Desert.

Is it? Who's the girl in it? Alia? Sam Neill? Sam Neill's in it? Sam Neill's in it, I think. It's like Australian, isn't it? He's in Jurassic Park.

No, not Sam Neill. Sam, uh, what did I say? No, the guy from The Matrix. Oh, Sam, uh, Sam Lashganji. Agent Carter. From The Matrix? Who's the Sam in that? Might not be Sam. Sam, uh, Sam, agent Carter from the matrix. Who's a Sam in that? Might not be Sam.

Uh, when I Googled the matrix, Sam, it's just Samuel L. Jackson, but I think Google might be racist. Um, the, uh, um, no, isn't it? The pink flamingos. I think Google might be racist. The, no, isn't it the pink flamingos? Maybe that's the other one I think of. That's the midnight. Is it?

Oh yeah. Yeah. That's definitely. Have you ever been to one of those Jackie, like a midnight cult movie kind of showing? No, I never have. And the only one I really am familiar with,

like just from popularity is is is uh um the rocky or picture show like is it that kind of thing you mean where there's like rituals and stuff yeah yeah oh no i've never been but that is right up my alley it's guys i'm sorry i have to correct myself it's by sam i meant hugo weaving sam hugo um yeah they are fun if you if you like like campy stuff and like you can learn all the things you can learn like when they throw forks at the screen and when there's rice and yeah it's fun you should everybody should do it once in their life. I feel. And then it's, it is the season to do it with Rocky horror coming. Oh, actually,

sorry. I have to say that was one of my absolutely all time favorite movies when I was a kid. Rocky horror. It was actually, I don't want to get TMI here, but like, and this is actually looking back,

this is maybe troubling, but that was a big part of my sexual awakening. Me too. Frank and further. Oh, okay. was i remember watching it and you know the part like the part where it's like filmed like behind the gauzy curtain and he's with brad and janet like at different times he's pretending to be them very problematic actually but my my old immigrant italian grandfather who lived in the upstairs apartment came down while I was watching that part. And he was like, me, me. And he was like, shocked.

He was like, he looked like his head was going to pop off like what I was watching. Oh, man. And that, yeah, of all the scenes, it's very. Of all the scenes, of course, Papa has to come down now. Dave, have you seen this film yeah i saw it i've went to one i've seen it one time uh at in a theater where they uh drew the letter v on my head um you know pulled my pants down gave it a tug uh uh you know slapped me with a newspaper i don't know what all the rituals are, but everyone seems,

everyone else seems to know what was going on. And, you know, it was good for them. And you just let it happen. Yeah. Like some asshole who doesn't even belong there. Just saying,

telling you, you have to do all this stuff. Give me $5. Okay. Yeah. I mean, like, I like,

I want to be part of a cultural event. Then bend over. We're going to smack you with this newspaper, and then you give me your sin number. Sounds good. This sounds good. Do you have your sin numbers memorized, guys? I have to have mine. I lost my card years ago. I think I've got mine.

Okay. Let's all say them at once. Let's all say them at the same time. One, two, three. One, two, three, two three four five six seven nine nine yeah what a coincidence yeah i think i can but you know what if asked for it i would blank a blank so fast if somebody i there's yeah that was there's i know i there's three sets of numbers three sets of three yeah

yeah i could put them in any order but apparently i'm being very bad by not having like a physical card like i lost it like 15 years ago i haven't had it since but it's like my number yeah i used to carry mine around my wallet was probably a bad idea that's how i lost mine why were we doing that i don't know if i ever had a card i must have had a card at one point somewhere yeah it's because it made you feel like you were a human being you have a big adult look at me yeah you've got a number attached to you for the rest of your life i'm literally just opening drawers and i'm gonna sit in here looking for your card yeah if you see mine over there let me know i think i have my birth certificate in here is that the same thing really do you actually have

your birth certificate i mean it's somewhere i don't't think I have one. It has been in an office. Do you have your birth certificate? Yeah, well, you know what? I had my original and I lost it a long time ago. What's going on over there? But then I got a new one and I applied for a new one, which was like a big loss. I had to apply for a new one.

You had to be born again. To get married. Yeah, I'm a born again human. I got a second birth certificate. But I had to get a special one to get a marriage license or something i had to get it to get my marriage license but then now it's like a really fancy one like my old one was just that like i don't know just that little blue square and my new one's like the same fabric as new money like new cash oh it's really fancy it has my parents both names on it which my other one didn't or something or my parents birthdates or something yeah that's yeah i want that i want

the upgraded version oh i remember why i got it i got it because there was a moment in time where i thought oh you know what i'm eligible for my um like italian passport and and and i needed it for that but there's so many other things you have to do to get that. It's like, it's mind boggling. The Italians, they really put you through the ringer. Do you have your Italian citizenship now?

No, I never got, I only got as far as the birth certificate. Like I had to go, I would have to get all of these documents from like my grandfather and then get them translated by a like um a specific type of like trans document translator like it was craziness and your grandfather had the documents and then he saw you watching rocky horror and his head exploded yeah see these documents you can can kiss these goodbye. Mamma mia.

And that's how you discovered your sexuality was by looking at these very fancy and sumptuous pieces of paper. Oh, they're so beautiful. You said your new birth certificate's made out of the kind of fabric-y paper. So my daughter was playing with this $5 bill.

Times are tough. Just playing with his money, kid. And she tore it. I thought it was unbreakable, this money. That's what I thought. Indestructible. What? But nothing's indestructible to kids.

Kids figure out a way to destroy you're right so true where there's a will there's a way but what is it like on the tear there is it very i imagine it would be very sharp along those edges it is actually you could cut yourself on the tear for sure and that would have learned you the lesson right away dave don't but if you tape that together they have to accept it it's still good who's they who's the man places don't even accept cash at all good cash yeah good cash yeah like that's gonna be pretty soon because there's already venues and stuff that aren't they will not take cash it's only hard now yeah so like what say i want to become a career criminal right it used to be

cash was that was the untraceable thing but now it's super traceable if you're paying everything oh yeah what are you laundering yeah like yeah i guess it would be you know right yeah the casino or like what's with i don't know this is just a stab in the dark, but crypto has to be a good way to be bad. That seems like a good way to be bad. Yeah. To do whatever you want online. Yeah. Yeah.

Have you ever met a crypto guy? And I only say guy because I don't think I've ever met a crypto woman. Me neither. Do they exist? I guess they must be out there. I'm sure they must. There's one woman at those conferences one or two maybe man i feel like a crypto woman and then you change all the lyrics

to be about crypto totally crazy dog coin bitcoin bitcoin i like i like that you're nfts feel like and then crypto crypto.com arena is nfts to do obviously it has to do with crypto nft and crypto are hand in hand

yeah because it's a form of currency right it's uh they're created on the blockchain yeah there's another word i tried to learn what a blockchain was and man oh man like you have to know about a thousand things before you even start i've never even heard the term in my life that's how they make crypto that's through like some weird imaginary solving oh robot this is what i think no come on you know how you both explained uh too long food julie numera let's both explain crypto to jack yeah on the count of three okay one two three so a nerd is goes to the bank and whistles and then it whirls around a hundred times and the energy created and there will only be so many coins for the rest of the time. And then that's all

an old e-hole. It's like real estate. You can only buy so many. It's fungible. But the tokens are not. And fungible is Italian for... Me, fungible. I don't even know what...

I'm so dumbed up. No, you're not dumb for not knowing this. No one'm fungible. Yeah, it means mushroom. I don't even know what fungible is. I'm so dumbed up. Look, you guys are talking to someone. No, you're not dumb for not knowing this. No one knew fungible two years ago. I have money under my mattress. Yeah, that's the stuff. I'm so not ready to talk or learn. What is it?

It's a mine in the center of the earth that makes the money. Yeah, it's in the center of the earth. Well, no, you were listening to Graham's. You didn't listen to mine. But isn't there like those crypto mines that are taking up so much electricity or something? Yes. Yeah. It's like a giant.

No comment. We have no comment on that. Please don't ask any more questions. If you would like to buy it what is it the apes or is it called chimps or oh they are pictures of yeah they're monkey men yeah and that's like jimmy fallon has one and it's and it's worth of like so much fungibles sponges so it's so many fungibles absolutely not even fun not even fungible. Yeah. And there's a guy who, he lost a code, like a password. And he's out like several hundred million dollars.

What? Because he misplaced the password? Yeah. It was someone's dad for sure. Yeah, exactly. And they're calling their kid the what's my password it's like when they call you for the mode the wi-fi i know i hate it it's not a tech issue that's a you issue my parents wi-fi password is still like the long thing on the back of the thing

oh nice like the little uh that coat that like that's nothing to be ashamed of i am shaming my parents margaret mead said anyone over 50 is an immigrant in their own country oh and that is my parents but are your parents actual immigrants no no they're just margaret mead style immigrants oh you can get an italian passport if your grandparents are italian yeah yeah if you have um and it's not even like yeah it's it's a one grandparent that was born there yeah and then irish too because my husband's um british but he his grandmother one grandmother was oh yeah you have irish because of a grandparent yeah because of grandparents you got your irish passport yeah and you went through all the hoops

well i went through some of the hoops my dad had to go through some of the hoops uh he mostly had to go through hoops because all the forms kind of had to go through him exactly and that's part of what stopped me, Graham. Cause I was like, mom and dad, do you have this? Do you have this? Do you that? Do you have this?

And like, they were like, no, we have a picture of you underneath a lactating dog. Just soaked with milk. Will they accept this honey? Could you try this? But that's great that you got that passport.

So do you go, do you go, you could go and live and work there? Yeah, I guess I could. I, I, I would go and work there. I don't know what I would do. I don't think I have any transferable skills that I could. And the cost of living there right now is pretty bad. Is it not like vancouver where no vancouver nice and cheap toronto yeah you get by for a song around here but my friend my very good friend who i worked with for years is irish he moved back to ireland but he's like a digital nomad now

right with this tech job and so he spends all of of his time in Spain because it's like so much cheaper for him to live. Yeah. He's really living the light as he would say, the life of Riley really live in the life of fucking Riley. Nice. Nice. Yeah.

I used to work with an Irish guy and you know what he would say instead of, um, when he was like, uh, hesitating, is that, um, he'd say,

am, am, I was like, knock it off. Just say, um, when he was like hesitating, instead of um, he'd say am. Am. Yes. I was like, knock it off. Just say um. Past guest, Paul Meyerhog, he lives cheaply in like the south of France. Wow. But like a huge, I don't know what it is like a you know huge old stone yeah exactly what

yeah and he works as a comedian so that's uh how well you can get along in france on a comedian salary but then but he like performs there or he just that's his base and he travels yeah that's his base and then he oh la vieille belle for Paul Meyer yes yes yes I will also jump in pass it along I was in the south of France once and it blew my freaking hair back

look I don't need to tell people that the south of France is beautiful it was so stunning would you move there could you if you could do whatever you could do It was so stunning. Would you move there? Could you, if you could do whatever you could do digitally and far away, would you go to live in France? In a heartbeat, in a heartbeat.

You know what? Oh man. Like just being near the ocean makes me feel so happy. Yeah. And yeah, like I just feel so much like, I just, I feel like I'm,

I don't know um for what reason you'd be pretty bummed out because they're actually on the sea in the south of france that sounds actually really shit and also like there's a lot of toplessness yeah my stars um your grandfather wouldn't like to see this like me yeah me yeah that was his thing when he was shocked me yeah me yeah um he but yeah it was so it i would i would for sure move there i was in a place called it was just outside of um monaco but it was called menton or something in the or like rock cap saint brun or something somewhere cheap outside of the like expensive areas yeah or money outside of monte carlo and

uh and the food was so good and so cheap and you just get these big beautiful sandwiches on a fresh baguette and like yeah nothing that's it oh yeah i would love that would you guys move there imagine that you move there and the day you move there you catch gluten-free disease yeah exactly on the plane over you sleep through the injection everybody else gets like the langoliers oh are you kidding me the langoliers is one of my favorite favorite novellas and movies of all time nice one of my favorite bronson pincho uh features yeah miniseries yeah his work in uh beverly hills cop not with snapping man that is i love that i love that story what it's okay let me see if i've only seen i only remember kind of seeing the miniseries when i was a kid i know okay i've only seen i only remember kind of seeing the mini series when i was a kid i know

okay i've watched it several times in my life it's available on youtube it's the whole things on youtube and i've read the book like i'm not getting like five times really yes so is it a bunch of people go on a plane they all fall asleep and then they wake up and the world is different or something they come off a plane and close what it is close so they it's a it's a it's a red-eye flight well let's explain it at the same time it's an overnight flight and the this one pilot it's it so we we open on this pilot who just got news that his ex-wife is dead oh shit his ex-wife is dead. Oh, shit. His ex-wife is dead? His ex-wife. So that's already complicated. Complicated emotions from the outset. Yeah, that's true.

How am I going to fly? And so he was in Los Angeles. He was in Los Angeles. He lands off a flight that he flew, gets this news, and he goes, okay, I have to go back to Boston right away. Go ahead. And so they're like, you can go in a jump seat. You can deadhead on this flight back to Boston.

And then everyone on this flight back to Boston, the pilots just like part of the passengers. So, and it's following a handful of people. And then like six or seven people fall asleep. And they wake up and everyone on the plane is gone, including the pilot. Oh, shit. And the plane's still flying. Is it going and everyone on the plane is gone, including the pilot. Oh shit. And the plane is still flying.

Is it going to, yeah, on autopilot. So then luckily that pilots there and he like, but there's like a, it's like a crazy storm or he couldn't get into the cockpit. It was locked. And like,

it's just so it's the eeriest to me. It's like the eeriest premise and like the most dread, dread inducing intro to i know i know it's made for tv it's quite shit there's a lot of laughable moments but it's just i just love it yeah it's uh and then they land and they're like now what is that yes they land and no one's around and no one else is weird their sound is different the sound is kind of muted and and there's um and their footsteps on the tarmac are like there's no echo to them everything sounds dull huh the air they open pop and it's not fizzy they're like eating and drinking

in the airport and they're like oh this food is like there's no taste is there this sucks it takes them do they does it take them a while to realize that what they all had in common was they were asleep yes it takes them a little while they're like they deduce that oh and also on the plane everyone's like dentures and change and like jewelry and fillings that of the other passengers that have disappeared are still on the plane so like they've been raptured, but they're filling. It is like a rapture-y thing. But then at the end, you find out it isn't the rapture.

It's very good sci-fi. And it's like, I shouldn't give it away, should I? I guess not. Yeah, maybe not. Because I think I'm really selling it. I think that everyone's going to go watch it on YouTube now. Yeah. I like that the fill feelings stay behind that it's

like uh security like no no no yeah it comes through yeah they beeped the rapture has a has one of those things you walk through because like uh there's a kirk cameron movie that everybody raptures and all that's left behind are their shoes leave their shoes no shoes in heaven oh my god he so would be in a rapture movie wouldn't he isn't he like very religious yes yeah he's i would say probably the biggest religious actor i don't know any others i guess in terms of being in religious movies but yes it's weird like i know religious people like it there's like a there's a really there's being religious and then there's caring about the rapture

yes yeah you're so right that is a next tier isn't it yeah worrying sincerely about the rapture now you want to be raptured right you don't want to be the goal yeah that's you want to be taken up and have your shoes and then if you if you're not are you just bummed you're just like now what yeah because doesn't the world burn isn't that isn't it now hell or something yeah it's not just like oh half of the population's gone oh well more room for me you look around and there's like oh and now i gotta walk around and there's dinosaurs around oh wait is this just jurassic park sex but yeah it's definitely like rapture goals rapture goals like you want to be rapture goals

but like but that's so funny thing to want to have happen to you because it sounds so terrifying yeah rapture, brunch with the squad. And at the brunch, it's just pictures of their shoes around the table. If I were a sincere believer in the rapture, I would always be sure I'm not wearing my nicest, most expensive shoes because you're just going to

lose them. I wouldn't worry about it no i don't need that i don't it's not like you're gonna i guess i don't really follow what you're gonna use them even if you if you leave them in your closet you're gonna lose them as well yeah you're right it's important to enjoy the things that we have before we're raptured. Now, if you had a bag with shoes in it, and you were wearing shoes, but you also had a bag with shoes in it, do they go to

heaven? Yeah, like, do you get to bring your back, like, one carry-on? It's full of shoes. Yeah, well, I know I won't be able to bring the shoes I'm wearing, so I'm gonna always travel with a backpack full of shoes. shoes yeah but then you'd think that

whatever the destination is that shoes would be kind of a hot hard to come by commodity yeah

it'd be like bringing a carton of cigarettes it's like yeah bringing Levi's to the Soviet Union

um yeah I uh sorry I bumped the microphone in there it was was gesticulated hit the mic so sorry everybody out there for listening and is your recording still going oh yeah yeah yeah yeah but i just like flumped in the middle of a sentence so i apologize i do that a lot like i can't believe i haven't done it yet because when i laugh really hard i rock back and forth

and i really like like i've almost like swallowed a mic before. Like my mouth opens so wide and I like rock back and forth. I'm always bumping the mic. That's pretty good. That's a pretty good personality trait to have. Having a fun laugh. I'm sorry we couldn't get you there. I've punched my face completely through pop guards before.

Now, Jackie, you have an album out. You have two albums out. I do. Yes, two now. A very recent one. Tell us about this recent one. Well, I just released it on September I think it was the 16th or like two weeks ago Tuesday, I think. Two weeks ago today. I'm really happy with it. It was, uh,

I recorded it back in April in Toronto. Okay. Uh, and there's, uh, it's quite, there's like 20 tracks. Um,

and I recorded it. Yeah. I like that round number, but that includes the intro and outro, which aren't really jokes. Yeah. That's the one that gets played the most. Thank you so much. You're welcome, Jackie Perica. When go on spotify and you look at a comedian's album it's like

track one nine thousand plays track two eight thousand plays like people start and then kind of like not a lot of retention i'm hoping to get into achieve some retention yeah but yeah i recorded it in april at comedy bar and you know what looking back i was like when i was in the editing phase and everything um because i um release my albums independently i'm not with like a label so i'm doing everything hands-on yeah i'm like editing and like i'm not editing physically but i'm doing paper edits with my like mixing guy and editing guy um and i'm like uploading all the metadata and the publishing and the um distribution and everything is like it's all a one-man band um

but i was worried because because when i recorded it it was in april and at comedy bar at the time the capacity of the cab space was like 38 as opposed to what it is now is like 50 right and i'm like oh no will the laugh sound like 38 instead of 50 i was like worried but you know what i'm so happy with it like it was such such great crowds it was over two nights and i'm just feeling so pleased i feel i feel happy with it and i'm excited about it and i'm even more happy that it's done. Yeah. There's a, it's a, it's a very specific, unique kind of pain and self torture to listen to yourself for months on end.

Yeah. Yeah. And just, and then also, are you worried that like, these are kind of April esque topics. I was doing a lot of Easter work. Well, you know what the thing is with any album and this happened with my first one too is that in the like let's see april may

june so in the six months between recording it and all that editing and now several of the jokes on that album of course have evolved have improved yeah yeah and and it's just such a torturous thing because i listen to them i like them i'm happy with them but i'm like oh my god i have a new tag for this joke i have a new pop here there's a new pop there and i'm like ah but you know what if you if i guess if you're hung up on that and you wait and wait wait until the joke will never be at its final perfect ideal stage mine come out fully formed as soon as i say them they're the perfect length tags yeah yeah so that's one thing that sort of tortures me but you have to just get

over that because it's like well what so you're just not going to record in case you improve on a joke yeah you just do an album where it's like the improvements and then yeah like taylor's version but jackie's version yeah and you know what that's another consideration too because it's like oh well you know you can't record the same joke from a previous album you'd think that but then i'm like wondering could you like if on my next album if i have a new thing part of a joke couldn't i i mean it's my i'm making it all up anyway i do covers of other comedians it's a real tribute band you know uh so you might recognize this one from a young woody allen all the old standards yeah yeah jazz album so yeah i separate the art from the artist. I do Bill Cosby. I do Woody Allen. You can now

enjoy the jokes without them getting the laugh. Oh, that is actually a major service. That's an excellent workaround. You know, back in Philadelphia, we used to play buck buck. Okay. And God said to Noah, build me an ark vooba vooba vooba this is the bill cosby you're doing

yeah okay vooba vooba vooba um dave what's going on with you man oh not much uh I went to a couple things. One thing, I went to go see a movie at the Vancouver Film Festival. Ooh, okay. Culture vulture. I'm a bit of a culture vulture. I went to go see the documentary about the Vancouver Grizzlies basketball team. Oh, yeah. And why they left town.

Yeah. Oh. Left a big hole here when they left town yeah oh left a big hole here when they left a big hole i remember the logo of that team or like one iteration of that logo was really good it was like yeah yeah it rules the logo rules the uniform colors ruled a lot of people still wear the hats you see people wearing the hats around town yeah um and uh so i went to see it my my friend produced it and so i uh i went to the premiere and uh it was really good uh very nostalgic um dave what did you wear to this premiere? Yeah, what were you wearing on the step and repeat? Yeah. I wore, I think I wore shorts and a t-shirt. It was a very large premiere.

I didn't have to, I wasn't photographed. I wasn't, you know, it was general admission. You just had to kind of like find your own seats. Cool. So I didn't want to waste time on a step and repeat. Oh my goodness. So doesn't it get chilly in a movie theater weren't you worried going in this was not a movie theater this is the vancouver uh this was the vancouver center for the performing arts formerly known as the ford center for the

performing arts uh which was very unsuccessful in its day and it's become a church. Oh, really? Yeah. And they did not, it does not have air conditioning. So it was. Oh, so you're fine. A little muggy in there. They need more, they need more in that collection plate. Get some AC humming in there.

Yeah. Yeah. This is, this was a special one-time only screening or this was where they were showing a bunch of films or? Oh, no. Yeah.

I think they're using it throughout the festival. Nice. Uh, but I went, um, and that the very beginning, like it was, they pulled out all the stops, they had the, like the Grizzlies left Vancouver in 2001, I think. Uh, and they, they brought back all the old, like, the dance team. Oh. And the, like, team announcer came out and, like, welcome the Grizzlies extreme dancers.

And they came out and did a dance routine to, like, songs from the late 90s. Nice. And then they brought out, like, the announcer, like, introduced some former players with the style that you introduce players at the start of a basketball

game. Did they run through a paper hoop? No, they didn't, but it was like, 6'8 from the University of whatever, Antonio Harvey, and he came out and waved and uh and then so three giant basketball players came out to start and waved all sat in the front row jesus christ and then they like at the movie started they came and took their seats and i was just thinking oh my god

imagine getting there and being like oh we got these great seats right in the middle there's no one sitting in front of us and then three six foot ten basketball players nightmare that's my theater night that's why i i do have a hard time at the theater like i love to i love the movie going experience but i'm stressed until i know i've got a good spot a good view yeah yeah oh well i mean most of most theaters now you can like see where other people are sitting yes yes you can pick but that also stresses me out because i'm like everybody better be listening to the rules here you know like like some people are like oh say I'm in the wrong seat. It's like,

yes, it's very regimented. Now we have a system. Yeah. People do that. People do that on airplanes. They'll be like, would you mind?

My wife and I, we didn't choose our seat. Yeah. It's like, well, why not? Why? Why the hell not?

We're stupid. We're stupid. And we suck. Would you mind? Stupid idiots. Um, now now was this do you know if this documentary was made by the same filmmaker that made the one about uh big country yes same same filmmaker okay same filmmaker nice kat jamie is her name kat jamie um cool and yeah at Jamie. Cool. Yeah, it was good. Yeah. And then... Dave, popcorn?

Milk duds? No, no popcorn. Look, here's what's up. Okay. My brother was my guest. Okay. And I had to like... What was he wearing? Well, basically the same thing thing but we didn't arrive together so i had to like go

stake out seats and make sure no one sat next to me right because there was no uh science seating so i i couldn't like wait in line and get popcorn i had right this thing was sold out i had to get my seat yeah yeah yeah i could see that um but usually gasping for popcorn i would be oh i was gagging for it yeah yeah i uh i would have gone waited till your brother got there then i would have gone out and got yeah popcorn and then come back i know but he got there like right before the jesus i mean these brothers can't they get there in time for everyone to get their popcorn yeah well he was in america that morning and this was the day that

they got rid of all the travel restrictions at the border so the lineup at the border oh my god super long okay let's go easy on him then yeah no i you know what i appreciate him making it and he's a good brother uh i'm sure he's listening right now and i just want to say uh you know happy birthday hbd big guy the other thing that's going on is uh so uh i have two daughters margo is eight poppy is five and poppy has started losing teeth oh thank god it's teeth yeah and and big hunks of hair yeah where all their baby hair is falling out and so what a visceral experience i can't even imagine i'm not envious losing teeth yeah yeah how did we put up with that look it is bonkers man uh well we also have a puppy and the puppy i've owned two dogs before and they lose baby teeth and they just seem to swallow them

but this new puppy of ours was just like, I don't want these. So, lost six teeth in like a week. You should put them all in a jar on the back of a toilet. We have them. Like a nice seashell kind of thing. Yeah, we're going to do like a necklace or something. I'm not kidding you. My necklace. I have a necklace that is made out of Nutland, my cat's last fang that she had and i wore

it as my something borrowed on my wedding day oh that's that's very i love that yeah netlin has no teeth still around still with us yeah she's actually listening in on us right now do you see do you see a fuzzy head back there oh yeah yeah yeah yeah she eats soft food yeah she she gets wet food every day but like which would be a cat's you know ball holla to any cat um but but she because she's so used to it she goes crazy for crunchies and she doesn't know or care that she has no teeth so she like she crunches down with her gums and like or like swallows like a duck like yeah i would suck so you have to be careful i'd suck that yeah she doesn't know to do that she doesn't know to do that but anyways yes i do have a tooth neck because she had all her teeth out except one fang which was apparently still healthy but then years

later that that was like oh this one has to come out too. I'm like, yeah, I thought so. I said, can I keep this one? It's so big and beautiful. Like a little thing, a little safer too. And then, yeah. And then I had it made into a beautiful pendant.

Anyways, we tried to do the same thing with my dog's testicles, but they wouldn't let us keep it. They're like hazardous waste. No, they put it in a museum. They put it in this weird dog museum. Yeah. But if you could get it like in waste. No, they put it in a museum. They put it in this weird dog museum. Yeah.

But if you could get it like in a little thing, like a grain of rice and you could get so much writing on it, couldn't you? I just need to get my dog's testicles and then I'll finally be able to write that novel. Yeah. I'll do war and peace on them. War on one side, peace on the other.

Anyway, so Poppy's lost two teeth. The second one, the first one, she lost no problem. So, this tooth fairy business going on? Yeah, I was just going to say, what's the current rate? What's the... Yeah, what is the rate? Well, the first, like, when Margo lost her first one, because her cousin had spilled the beans, she got $5. Oh, no.

$5. I guess you know what that is. Yeah, that's where we're at. Then Margo got $5. But every subsequent tooth, a toonie. Oh, okay. So it was a celebratory one-time sweepstakes. Yeah, the first minute is $5.

Each additional minute is two. And are you like sitting them down and explaining them the tooth fairy like has been on some hard times like uh she can only afford so much and uh she wants to participate but uh it's gonna be two knees from here on yeah and there's not enough tooth fairies like no one wants to work yeah also like the tooth fairy is mostly like debit now yeah doesn't get a lot of change one of those like squares but like so i gotta ask though is this ripped up five dollar bill that the inaugural tooth five dollars no this was another five dollars this was allowance oh okay okay what is their allowance is it five it's five but but every couple weeks when they

clean something right it's not like they don't need it they don't they're not they want for nothing yeah and like i would only like allowance i think was that was candy only. That was immediately getting filtered through candy, caramels, et cetera. Did you get an allowance Jackie? Yeah. I remember getting like, well,

I remember being in maybe early or middle school, early high school and getting like 20 bucks on a front every Friday. I think that's good. 20 bucks. Yeah. But I think what would I, I wasn't using it for anything good. That's good. 20 bucks? Yeah. But I think, I wasn't using it for anything good, that's for sure.

Yeah. Putting it away in some sort of high return savings account. But I was pretty old by then. I was older by then, but then I started having a job since I was like 15. What'd you do?

So I didn't need, what was my very first job? Oh, New York Fries was my very first job. oh new york fries was my very first job oh man you must have been you all the boys must have been after you you know what happened i didn't work there for very long because i won't get into the big details and derail this but the politics there's a there's a graduated frying system for new york fries that make them the way they are okay so like the first fire is not as hot and you put them in there first and then and then the second fire is hotter and for a shorter amount of time and then those are sitting there and then when someone orders them

then you put it in this like astronomically hot as hell super scary fryer but by this time there's like three baskets piled on top of another i was 15 years old i was so like small and not strong yeah and the floor was always slippery with grease it was in the mall it was like a tiny thing and i was lifting these three things of fries to go in this ultra hot fryer and it like fell out of my hand and splashed my wrist and hand and spurt the shit out of me and i was like and this woman that i worked for who was like between us a bitch and i was and she goes oh you're okay just go take a walk go go like get a pop and go sit down in this food court for 20 minutes you're fine and then put some cheese curds on it

the healing properties of the cheese curds and so I left and I came back and it was really bad it was like really white it was like a very quite bad burn and when I got home that night and my dad saw this he flipped and the next day he marched me back to new york fries and was like and it was like is that her is that is that her and i'm like yes he's like and then he just he chewed this woman out and he was like she never i don't mean to swear but he's like yeah she never fucking setting foot back in here good luck asshole and then we marched through the mall nice right into the bay let's pick up some scars for ourselves to cover up our scars yeah so liz clayborne perhaps uh if anyone not from canada uh new york fries is a place in the mall yeah it's a place and it

rules it's so good it's so good like they're they're like where the works it's kind of like taco bell's fries supreme right like with the tomatoes and like the cheese it's like mexican kind of i haven't been in years but i'm going tonight you must go you simply must it is so good but know what they're at movie theaters now too sometimes oh shit at least here they are. Yeah, but anyways, your daughters allow it. Yes. Just never let her work at a New York Fry's.

So the tooth fairy. So she lost that first tooth a few weeks ago. She's now sleeping in a loft bed. So there is a it's a very tricky transaction to get the money, to exchange the money and the tooth under the pillow. I don't understand why parents settled on, yeah, we'll just do this thing where you leave a tooth under the pillow and we'll be covert spies in the middle of the night i'm sneaking past my older kid's room

because she's who still believes in the tooth fairy so i'm like i'm just gonna check to see what's going on over there okay nope no not she's okay yeah the tooth fairy hasn't arrived yet no we're all right do you wear like a set of wings just in case? In case she pops out the door and you turn her back? Yeah, good point. I mean, in the lore of Tooth Fairy, human size? Tiny size? Yeah, what is she? Nothing is known. Nothing is known.

Okay. Also, yeah, it's... Her motivation is certainly not known. Oh, it's gross. Well, she's obviously... Like, it must be financial for her, too. Like, she's... It's capitalism for her, too. Like, it's capitalism for her, too. Oh, yeah.

She's a middleman. Yeah. Actually, people who collect bones and teeth, they don't really have a good track record, do they? That's true. Yeah. If you go over and somebody has a bunch of bones on the table. I don't know. Yeah.

Uh, the, uh, so I went in on Friday night and so we have, so we have these little like silk bags that we put a tooth in and I, I, listeners suggested I do this at one point and the money goes in a different bag and then you just swap the bags it's easier than having to dig out a tiny tooth from underneath yeah a giant pillow full of or in a bed that's filled with stuffed animals yeah just a bear has a tooth jammed in its eyeball and it it i had had there was an aborted attempt earlier that night when i went in, reached under the pillow. Really, I should do the swap before she even goes to sleep. Right, because with those little bags, she wouldn't, might maybe not know. And I have done that before, but it fell apart that night. You could do the behind the ear. You'd be like, here goes, here's a tooth.

And then, whoa, look what I found here. A toonie. So, I go in this i reach in i can't find i can't find the tooth bag yeah and i reach under a pillow her head starts moving i'm like i gotta go we gotta go run out of the room i come back at midnight again i can't find it and i'm just like okay i'll leave i'll leave the coin she'll see the coin in the morning she won't even question like right she'll see one bag in front of her and she'll be like there it is yeah the next morning she wakes up she's like she comes downstairs with a bag with

a tooth in it and she says the tooth fairy didn't come and I'm like, check again, check again, check again, check again, go up there and check. So she checks and she's like, well, what happened? And I said, oh, maybe the tooth fairy just got confused. Yeah, she was drunk. She's going through something right now. She's not at the top of her game. She went through her whole bottle of white wine no way as little as we know about the tooth fairy to me that does make sense white wine so that the that morning she's like bummed about it she's like she doesn't care that she got the

money she's bummed that her tooth wasn't taken and i was like it was a feeling of almost like rejection like you said you made a submission and you were rejected essentially this is my my tooth and take it with you yeah that is sad and so the next night we're like okay you uh she'll she'll pick it up tonight just leave it you know what don't leave it right underneath your pillow leave it on the edge of your pillow yeah yeah and uh she probably couldn't maybe you were sleeping so soundly she couldn't get it underneath that big old head of yours yeah and then my wife uh was like actually just there's you have a little pocket that hangs over the edge of the bed just keep it in that pocket and i was and i was like you know what i'll put it in the pocket for you and so i was like leaving it there there you can see it's kind of hanging out of the pocket a little bit it'll be easy for the tooth fairy to find

and so she goes to sleep that night i go in it's not in the fucking pocket. No. What? Of course it isn't. What? I come back. I come back to Abby. I'm like, did you already get it? And she's like, nope. Oh, shit. And so Poppy. Where?

She, I have to like search around her bed. I'm on a stool because she's in a loft bed. In a loft. And so I'm like, reach. And it was just like on the edge of her pillow. But I was like, you bastard. You son of a bitch and the next morning take that good advice yeah the next morning i was like oh did the tooth fairy come and she was like yep and you just left it in the in your pocket there you just left it in the pocket there and she was like yes

well good for you well good i'm glad it worked out and what do you think her resistance to the very sound pocket advice was do you think it was like well this isn't how the tradition goes i think she's just she's a purist she's chaotic she's yeah she's chaotic and unknowable yeah she's an agent of chaos yeah so anyway that's good we're all good yeah good yeah uh what's going on with you graham oh also not much but uh caveat uh for the longest longest time i didn't have a car and then my mom told me I was taking her car, even though I was kind of like, I don't like driving. And it's a Ford Ranger, right? It's a Ford Ranger.

You don't know anybody who deals in Ford Rangers, do you? Because I'm looking to trade in. So having a car is not really a thing that I've dealt with for like 20-odd years. 20-odd years of years up front yeah and uh everything costs money with this thing everything you do you have to put money gas is super expensive you have to get it tuned up and then somebody tried to break into it the other day so somebody uh broke the handle uh and like jammed like a screwdriver in on the outside door handle. Yeah, the outside door handle.

Oh my god. Like bent it and so it's all like the thing is broken off and then it's all bent. It looks very like, hey, come and finish the job, why don't you? There's no way to cover it really without drawing attention

to it. You should go to my handle guy yeah who's your handle guy oh yeah you got a handle guy yeah tony handle tony handle he was from the odd couple but did you have something in the car that maybe was this or it was just a random thing like you know people are like oh don't leave anything showing in your car. Yeah, I think that's probably what it was. I'm just trying really hard to victim blame you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was, you know, I was drunk. I was just driving drunk.

I was parking drunk. Yeah, you left your NFT visible in the car. Yeah, one of those monkeys. Seth Green's monkey was in your passenger seat. that green's monkey was in your passenger seat um the we're according to the news we are living in a uh you know gotham city-esque uh underworld of property crime at the moment that's true with all smashed windows every day really yeah something weird is bubbling up and thing the thing about vancouver is uh when things blow up boy oh boy do they blow up they turn into full-blown citywide riots so i feel like something's cooking like something i wouldn't be

surprised if that happened again uh because people are just sick of it you know what i mean they're tired of it they just want to get on with things what is it i cannot say i don't know what are things we're not sure so your car is your handle is dangling off well like the where you put the key like that part was like so the handle still opens but the but like the key thing is yanked out the chamber is like pulled out are you is it they didn't get in no and are you able to get in uh yeah because i got a the fob guy so that's a few so i can get into it and uh so and i was like who do you even who do you contact for this is this just you don't go to jiffy lube they don't fix things so i had to like auto body that's that's yeah yeah that's a thing so i took it

to the auto body and this is like i think most people are like i have no idea it could cost one hundred dollars to ten thousand dollars i have no idea i have no reference for how much this costs so yeah the guy gave me a quote and i was like sure sure why not can we be nosy and ask well he said there were two different prices depending on if i wanted the key to be able to open up the door manually because otherwise he can just put whatever key anything in there yeah because you have your fob you're a fob guy yeah so he's like if you don't need that and then also the part that was taken off if you want it to match the color of your car you don't care about that i don't care i want it to be a little funky i want one i want one door completely different color than the rest

of the car like a demolition derby car yeah or like it's also kind of matte it's not sheen or like those like united colors of benetton looking volkswagens from the 80s yeah yeah a harlequin so anyways the guy's like uh you know i gotta wait for the part or whatever i'm like well maybe that's true maybe it's not maybe you're really at their mercy yeah yeah and like that was the thing when he quoted he was like it could be 300 but if you had this and this it'll be 450 i'm like well just keep upping the price i'll pay whatever the fuck you want i guess i'm not gonna go research this uh so now i'm waiting on parts waiting on part are you did you check with the insurance company or you you just doing it out of pocket?

No, the guy, this is the thing too, is he says, oh, well, you know, it's, you pay the same deductible. It's like, again, word, you're going over my head, man. I don't know deductible. I have no idea what the fuck you're talking about. So he said, don't go through insurance because then you get a clean insurance record. And also if you could pay me me in cash that would be great and also i i will take fungible tokens but uh no non-fungibles i don't want to brag here but my dad could fix that for you if you were if we lived in the same town i know my dad could fix that for you i'm going on the road yeah i'll see you in a week

can your dad deal with a Subaru? Oh, yeah. You can't throw anything his way. You can't deal with. Nice. Nice. And your brother, of course, could fix my Cessna. Yes, he could.

Or my brother could go and get the part for you. Nice. And bring it in his jet. That's true. He could cargo it. Just that one part in a giant Boeing. Just rattling around like a dude not tight and too small to tie it down even how what was your feeling when you came outside that morning or whatever and saw the damage what was your initial emotion was it rage was it violation was it fear

no it was just like ah crap you know like it know, like, it's just like, this is going to be work that I have to do now, and it's just like, it's going to become a thing that's costing money. Like, it was just like, ah. Like exhaustion. Yeah. I had a Toyota Tercel that was broken into so many times, and it was always they broke the smallest window possible,

and it was like always $180 to fix it. Yeah, yeah. And for what they got got they got less than a dollar or like ten dollars worth of stuff every time like yeah burned cds and they tried one time they got the face plate from my uh but not my stereo one time someone broke in i think i had left my car unlocked and they broke in and they realized there was nothing to steal and they took a muffin and they just like smushed it into my passenger seat this is what we think you're stupid muffin yeah it wasn't even my muffin they brought their

own oh shit are you serious yeah maybe he's leaving it like a calling card. Yeah, the muffiner. The muffin mugger. I'm the muffin man. Let's just say the muffin man has been here. But yeah, so like, it's just another thing. Just another thing. When I was in college, somebody

smashed my window in, and we went to a place, which I think there's an equivalent to out here it was called pick apart and you would go and it was all these cars that uh no they weren't drivable anymore you just go pick a part that you needed and uh you paid by like the pound or whatever and so we just found yeah we just found a windshield and we took it out and just popped it in and uh yeah if they'd broken my window I'd just call my dad. Come on, let's go to picture park together.

But yeah, so anyways Vancouver's destined for a riot. Wow. Yeah. You heard it here first. Mm-hmm. I can't imagine all the muffin damage that's going to be going on in the city. People smushing muffins into running by with a giant bunch of bananas.

Oh shit, there's got to be Ruth's silly tailpipes. Some guys are like, eat the rich, and other guys are like, actually just eat a muffin. Yeah, we don't want to muck around with the rich. Do you guys want to move on to some overheards? Sure. Sure. do you guys want to move on to some overheards? sure and now a live reading from Rachel's Poetry Corner Elephants, theremins, clifton

Neopets, pore strips, jepson Pine smell, jelly beans, golygoles Skittles, squirrels, and the mole Celery, chopsticks, pumpernickel A Case of You by Joni Mitchell Lullabies, tie-dye, the more you know all of these things on our wonderful show Celery Chopsticks Pumpernickel, A Case of You by Joni Mitchell. Lullabies Tie-Dye, The More You Know. All of these things on our wonderful show.

All these things and more wait for you on Wonderful every Wednesday on MaximumFun.org or wherever you download podcasts. Did your neighbor back into your car? Bring that case to Judge Judy. Think the mailman might be the real father? Give that one to Judge Mathis. But does your mom want you to flush her ashes down the toilet at Disney World when she passes away? Now that's my jurisdiction. Welcome to the court of Judge John Hodgman, where the people are real, the disputes are real, and the stakes are often unusual.

If I got arrested for dumping your ashes in the Jungle Cruise, it would be an honor. I don't want to be part of somebody getting a super yacht. I don't know at what point you want to go into this, but we've had a worm bin before. Available free right now at MaximumFun.org. Judge John Hodgman, the court of last resort when your wife won't stop pretending to be a cat and knocking the clean laundry over. Overheard.

A guy drove by or rode by my house today on a bike and he, I guess he had a Bluetooth speaker and he was playing this song. Tell me if you know this song. It's like,

uh, bah, diddly diddly diddly, bah, dee, me if you know the song it's like um it's like a song that you for sure know it's like oh shit it's like it's like this song it's like from the 1940s it's really like like show-stopping kind of like happy song right and i didn't feel the way that the music was and i was like man that guy's having a different day than i am yeah exactly oh by the way this is not my overheard just to let you know oh boy Oh boy. I'm sure if we look up hits of the forties,

it'll be on there. Yeah, but it's, it has no lyrics. So it's like, believe it or not, those were not the lyrics so it'd be really hard to nail it down yeah you know you you can shazam it that's uh

with the singing okay here we go uh everybody ready dave you're ready wait wait i'm looking that song i got another thumbs up is it because i did a thumbs up i don't know oh wait that's it oh jump jiving whale no it's in the mood oh in the mood okay i I can't believe you just did that. Yeah. Well, there's only five songs from the 40s. And Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy has words. Oh, my God. I'm so glad that you did that for me because it's been in my head since. Well, obviously not very well, but. I love it. The next time you're thinking of it, go.

Yes. Yeah, yeah. I love it the next time you're thinking of it go do do do do do do do do do do ba ba yeah yeah what a day that guy was having on his bike because I had a very like not very productive day and not very active day like very sleepy and I'm like man that's making me feel so bad about myself that specifically that song right now

you could be riveting in a factory for the boys at war um all right overheards uh you know what people are talking and they're talking about people uh so let's give them something to talk about uh if you hear something fun we want to hear it on the podcast and we always like to start with the guest. Jackie, would you please? I'd love to. So my overheard really stuck with me. Last month, I was in the southwest coast of Devon in England.

Okay. And it was, they call it the English Riviera. It's like beautiful, but so rich and wealthy. I'm talking like yachts and sailors and yacht people, sweaters tied around their fricking shoulders. Whoa. It was like the richest, whitest place ever. Okay.

Right. And this is, this is classically rich. This is classically rich. That meet the likes of us. You have to be of noble birth to compete. Yes. And the likes of us have like,

I have no business being in this place. Okay. Like this is so far beyond the scope of anything I've ever been a part of. But this this this little town called Solcombe. Anyways, it was beautiful, but it was very, very like that. And there's a lot of dogs, obviously, like these lot of pet dogs. and this big fluffy springy kind of lanky poodle-y kind of guy this tall dog um was on his string and his like rich lady master was sitting with them do you mean a leash yeah yeah and then this little tiny dog walked by and this big dog was like, you know, but like, you know, stood up and the little dog was like,

like, and kind of scurried off. And then so the overheard is this woman who's so rich that she spoke to her dog like this. She was like, do you know, you're quite a big dog, you know? So when you're behaving like that with the little dogs, they don't understand the true nature, do they? Right. They don't understand your intentions. All they see is a big mean dog wouldn't you say that right it's not right for you to make that impression on the little dog like she was just going on so verbosely to this dog talking reason she's like right they don't know who you really are

and i swear the look on the dog's face was like yeah you got a point yeah yeah i hate it when she talked to me like this but i'm just i never heard anything like it like they're so rich that they can't even be like bad boy yeah stop that knock it off yeah listen we're gonna have a long conversation about this so sit down exactly it uh uh dave do you have an overheard yeah this one is uh this is a hand-me-down from my father-in-law uh abby's dad we were on gabriola island a month or two ago, and he told me this one, which was a there was like a like a sort of a hiking area. And there's like this hippie looking dude sitting outside the sitting like near the trail. And he's smoking a doobie. Oh, OK.

Yeah. Now you're talking. And he did this thing where it was like, you know, you take a big puff and then like as you're exhaling, you talk. Oh, yeah. This classic hippie speak. Yeah.

And there were like people, other people around like pulling weeds. But not weed. No. They were pulling like this, some kind of greenery. Okay. Like boring, nerdy square weeds. Yes.

And the hippie guy was like, yeah. the, the hippie guy was like, yeah. Or my, my father-in-law asked what was going on. And the hippie guy was like, Oh, new invasive species.

Tansy ragwort. Gonna make Scotch broom look like a bridal bouquet. Oh man. I'm not afraid to say that guy rules yeah yeah me too well scotch broom is the only invasive species i could think of and it was like yeah that's the one i only know japanese beetle and that's uh not even a plant that's a beetle i think it was Scotch broom was like a kind of a plant that this like homesick Scottish guy. Oh no. Brought over hundreds of years ago. Right.

And put in Nova Scotia. And then it just like went all over the continent. The only one I know about that took over my garden last year is creeping Charlie. And it looks like an Ivy. And it's just like but it's the same thing it's invasive like some european was like oh i simply must bring my creeping charlie and then destroys our gardens for centuries to come um boy i'm fighting i'm fighting a losing battle with my neighbor's morning glory at the moment oh no it's just

creeping over into your yeah well they're the house is under construction so no one's taking care of it there should be at least one construction guy who that's his job and i would like to be that i'd like to be that guy on a construction site but morning glories are at least i know they're annoying and so out of control but they're so pretty don't you think no they stink uh they get my hands all sticky when i'm pulling them out of the ground they just you know morning glory is the nice name for them but i call them i call them bindweed is that what they really are yeah that's fine yeah holy shit um graham do you have an overheard

yeah well it's an overseen I was in one of our city's fine convenience stores they're all over the place and we're very proud of them and they're doing great work we love convenience stores don't we people I've started doing that too

the Trumpism we love convenience stores don't we folks um yeah and uh there was i was waiting in line behind like a guy that looked like an old sailor like just had like a guy that's been around been tough for most of his life and just like you know what i mean like all scrunched up face i've been tough for most of his life and just like you know what I mean like all scrunched up face. I've been tough for most of my life there were a few years in the middle where I was a pansy. Yeah I worked on the construction site as a weed puller

but he was buying and I've never seen somebody do this in a convenience store he was buying several cigars he was buying cigars from the. That is tough yeah like I mean this guy fucking means business he's smoking cigars. He was buying cigars from the... That is tough. Yeah, like, I mean, this guy fucking means business. He's smoking cigars. At his age?

Are you kidding me? Yeah. He probably was in his late 40s. It's hard living. Hard living. But then at the last second when the guy said, is that everything? He went, oop!

And he turned around and he grabbed an Eatmore and put it on the couch. Whoa! An Eatmore! Yeah, cigars and eat mores this guy doesn't care what happens to his mouth he's got no sense of taste but you know what the texture of each of those things is not and like if you got to think of a chocolate bar that's most like a cigar yeah that's true that's an eat more because it's really like mealy and like a lot of bits in there isn't it yeah fibrous it's like molasses and peanuts yeah yeah but you know what i there i went through an eat more phase as a kid yeah he uh yeah i bet if you ate a eat more in the

langoliers you wouldn't be like this has no flavor yeah that's true you you'd be like, this is fine. I was a big Turk guy for a while when I was young. I love Turkish delight, yeah. But I don't even see it around anymore. I don't think you can buy a big Turk, can you? Right between the Eatmores and those chocolate-covered cherry blossoms. And Charleston Chew. Oh, yeah. Over Charleston Chew.

One time, okay, I don't want like talk about illicit drugs so much but um i was on an illicit drug not even an illicit drug i was on mushrooms when i was like a teen okay and i bought a uh charleston chew and it was so chewy that like i wanted to like it made me have a bad trip i'm chewing too much man i'm still chewing like every bite every bite seemed to me to last a lifetime and i'm like i got a whole chocolate bar like it turned it turned the night around for me like really bad oh man that sounds so cool hard like you said hard living hard yeah hard living absolutely warning everybody there's some bad charleston chew circulating around

don't eat the blue charleston chew that's the idea that like the freaking universe is born and dies and is reborn again in the length of time it takes you to chew a Charleston. One bite of Charleston chew. Oh, man. Well, we also have overheard sent in to us from people all over the world. If you want to send one in, you can send it in to

sby.maximumfun.org This first one is from Forest in Chicago. Run? Forest, run. I was driving in city traffic. Of course, if you're in Chicago, it's got to be city traffic. Yeah.

And a tall box truck a few cars ahead of me caught my attention. I could only see the top half where there was printed in big letters, Home of the Milfs. And then the car eventually turned off, and I was able to read the bottom half was, Movers I'd like as friends. Oh, boy. Yeah.

I mean, anything to get ahead of the moving in. You got to stand out. Yeah. Or you're dead. And if you say milf, people are going to remember. That's a memorable thing to put on your truck. Yeah, you're breaking your neck. If you think there's a milf around, your head that's a memorable thing to put on your yeah you're you're breaking your neck you think there's a milf around your head's on a swivel you're crashing into things

left and right you're not paying attention to the road at all that's so so funny it's so it's nice right um now uh this next one comes from liam from newcastle england oh he's he likes morning glory yeah yeah exactly nice nice from england as well so yeah this all tracks uh i was walking through the streets of florence italy wow must be nice eh with my my fiance when we overheard an American woman say to their companion with a sigh I kind of regret getting hit by a car and not telling anybody about it I just wish I'd gotten like

some attention for it yeah exactly missed opportunity you're gonna throw you're gonna leave that 15 minutes of getting hit by a car fame on the table yeah exactly like this is your big chance this is you know yeah yeah this is prime otherwise you've just only got hit by a car this is our secret yeah and you try to keep it secret as you go to work and you're just all bedraggled it's a really good deal for the uh the driver in that situation don't tell anybody can you do me a huge solid i really don't need this right now can you not tell anyone that i hit you you won't regret it this yeah this will just be between us hey

okay what's the deductible on me getting it right you know what let's just settle this cash what's um blank check style uh this last one comes from alexa parts unknown while walking my dog through a fancy-ish part of my neighborhood i saw some graffiti picture i took wasn't clear but what it oh, no, your upper class wall has writing on it. Sad face. Oh, the medium is the message. Yeah. Doing an impression of them.

Yes. Really good. Yeah, really good. If you're going to graffiti something, at least do it with some humor and panache. Yeah. Yeah. There's some graffiti I pass by almost every day on these outhouses in the park. Like a real like a construction site style, like Johnny on the spot outhouse.

And the graffiti on it just says, poo poo pee pee gang. I got jumped by the poo poo pee pee gang. I'm sure you can smell it, but man, oh man. I love good stuff like graffiti like that. Yeah, I don't like the tags. I'm not big on just tagging a thing. No, I don't like, I don't like, they're indecipherable. Yeah.

I mean, you know what? Maybe it's not my place to comment on graffiti tag culture. I don't know what's going on. No, me neither. But I like poo-poo pee-pee stuff better. Yeah. Did you ever do that S that's like... Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Hexagon.

That was a good one. Yeah. Classic. In addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us, our phone number is 1-844- 779-7631. That's one. Ugh. SpyPod 1, like these people have.

Hey. Hey, Graham, Dave, and guests. Just calling in with an overheard. I was in a record store, and this lady came in off the street and was talking to the worker. And she said, oh, wow, I'm amazed that you guys are still open. That everybody's doing streaming or downloading. I'm surprised you're even open. They're like, oh, yeah, people still want to buy the real thing

and have record collections. She's like, oh, okay, yeah, yeah. And then says, oh, well, I'm not going to buy anything. I just want it to be around the presence of music. And then there's kind of a silent moment. And then she goes, sweet home, Alabama.

That's a song. All right. Thanks. See ya. Let me show off my knowledge of songs. Sweet home, Alabama. What do you have to say to that?

There's so many, everyone's so cool in a music store. I'm glad I can keep up with them. Yeah. But like, wait, so this person said, I can't believe that you guys are still around. Anyway, I'm not going to support the business, but I just wanted to come in here and say that.

Hey, man. Keep doing your thing, guys. Yeah. I'm going to go stream Skinner. Do you know that Leonard Skinner, that was named after their gym teacher yes yes yeah that's fun that is fun you know the pink boy is named after two guys two blues people named pink and floyd no is that true that's not true yes everything's named after a thing it's all famous no but is that really true about pink boy yeah isn't the name they combine two

blues musician names i don't know i've never thought about it oh god i didn't want to blow your mind to this stuff i was trying to give you like an obvious fact that everyone knows no do the beetles are kind of like they like that you know that you could misspell the beetles oh yeah because that's a pun? Cause they've got the beat. They got the beat, but they also really liked Buddy Holly and the crickets. They wanted a, like a insect name. Right.

Oh, I didn't know that either. Have you, have you seen the documentary, like the muscle shoals, like recording studio documentary? No, a bit of it.

It's so good. It was so good. Like what is going to bear the almond brothers? It was so good. What, uh, the allman brothers it was so good what uh where is this what are we streaming on we're streaming on the netflix i don't remember it was years ago i think it was netflix but one of the best things was that wilson okay you know like wilson pickett was down in muscle shoals recording at muscle shoals studio and like greg allman was like his

backup studio musician and then everyone was going out to lunch in the town but they were like wilson pickett look you shouldn't come to lunch in the town they're gonna be so mean to you because he's a black man they're like you're gonna get race racially bullied we're so sorry we're gonna go to the diner you stay here and then they were just and then him and greg allman were just like noodling around and did that cover just for fun and that was like the birth of that real southern rock sound of like like leonard skinner that sound what greg allman was doing on that song it was like that wouldn't have happened if it weren't for all the meanies and muscle shoals right and maybe it was like uh they were running lean because they hadn't had lunch so they were just like really yeah they're hungry to make music

did the documentary was it like was it hard-hitting and did it call racist meanies? Yeah, they did not mince words. Wow. All right, next phone call. Hey, Dave and Graham and possible guests. This is Dave calling from Northwestern Ontario. So I was recently in Canmore, Alberta, during their local pride parade. And I was walking down the street, and there were two maybe 12 or 13-year-old kids across the street from me,

and were very excited about the pride parade, and one was wearing a rainbow flag as a cape. a rainbow flag as a cape. And as I passed them, one of the kids very excitedly said to the other, oh, the queen was so great. She was such an ally. And I don't know if that statement really holds any water. It's rather funny. Yeah, she was a voice of a generation that queen yeah yeah she was always out at the marches and yeah yeah she i do get her confused with princess diana a lot though so

can i tell you if she was an ally or not i don't know but i i can i don't think i've ever heard her voice oh really speaking she did that skit with paddington yeah she did skit with paddington she I don't know, but I can't, I don't think I've ever heard her voice. Oh, really? She did that skit with Paddington. Yeah, she did a skit with Paddington. I didn't see that. She developed that southern sound when she was... Because Paddington couldn't go into the town to eat. Yeah. That's so funny.

Oh, the queen was such an ally. Well, yeah, she was an ally to, to like also some very bad people as well. Yeah, that's true. Like her son. Yeah, that's a real black mark on her record. I think she's more of an ally to the bad than the good. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Like Prince Andrew's probably like, oh, my mom. Such an ally. Yes. Who you want in your corner, absolutely. Alright, final phone call. Hi, dearly fam and guest. This is Leah calling from Port Moody. I'm calling with an overheard. This is from earlier this year when I went with my mom to see Fran Clark at Heckler's in

Victoria, BC. And I was in the washroom and there were two women speaking to each other and the first woman was saying to the second woman, I love your accent. It's so beautiful. Where are you from? And the second woman said, oh, you know, I don't have an accent. And they were a bit confused. And then the second woman said

to the first woman, but I love your accent. What's your accent? And then the first woman said, oh, no, I don't have an accent either. And what was going on is that they were both extremely drunk and swearing their words and mistaking it for an accent. And just so you know, Graham, one of these women was the woman who could not calculate her tip. Oh, my God.

And off I go. Oh, man. That's proof you were there for sure. Whoa, what was this? What happened with the tip? This woman was trying so loudly at her table to figure out what the tip was for the... And I'm like, don't the machines give you auto tip options now?

Yes. But she's like doing the math and she's got her calculator out. And then I just, I was like, what do you want to tip? And so I just did the math and she's got her calculator out. And then I just, I was like, what do you want to tip? And so I just did the math for her and told her this is on stage. It's like, that's his closer.

Usually. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. She made me do it early. So I had to fucking fump her around for the rest of myself. Well,

this has been so much fun. Jackie, thank you for being our guest oh i love to be your guest i couldn't wait to do it again i had so much fun last time and then the whole every day since from then till now i'm like this oh i can't wait yeah that's not true but it is so much fun your new album called splash pad you can get it everywhere you've you put it everywhere all streaming stores you can buy it on apple music you're wearing a red bathing suit on the cover yeah baywatch style oh you can get it um on bandcamp as well i just put it on bandcamp for fun as well nice but yeah you can stream it you can buy it and uh and i and i love everyone who tunes into it.

Yeah, I can't wait to tune into it myself. This is exciting. It's exciting that you've made two albums. That's not a lot of people do that. A lot of people make one, and then that's, call it a career. A one and done. Yeah, one and done. Yeah.

Thank you for being our guest, and thank you out there for listening to the show. If you're friends with queen let us know and come on back next week for another episode of stop podcasting yourself maximum fun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Audience supported.