Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 772 - Luba Magnus
Episode Date: January 3, 2023Comedian Luba Magnus joins us to talk foraging, a broken finger, and a bad hotel....
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Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself.
Woo!
Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 772 of Stop Podcasting Yourself.
My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who he can't resist it.
He's gotta have it. He loves his gingerbread, Mr. Dave Shumka.
Guilty. Yeah guys, it's me, a little gingerbread boy.
gingerbread boy.
I mean, we had a little pre-show discussion about when
we're recording this versus when we're releasing
this and I'm going to have to
admit, it's pre-Christmas
and I'm just
freaking full of ginge.
Do you have any opposition
to having a post-Christmas
gingerbread man slash
house?
I don't have any opposition, but I do at a certain point it has to end it has to stop it can't does have to and they're not
like i'm not gonna make it and they stopped selling it yeah they're not gonna they're not
gonna make it after oh i mean the drop dead date on gingerbread they're probably not making it
after the 20th. That's true.
And they don't resuscitate it for Valentine's Day.
For Valentine's Day.
Oh, my God.
Can you believe it?
Would you get me for Valentine's Day this year?
I got you some tonight dough ice cream.
And for you, I laughed too hard at your joke.
for you i laughed too hard at your joke um the uh i but i was in a uh local bakery the other day and they don't call their gingerbread people gingerbread men or gingerbread women they call
them ginger vigils and isn't that your vigils that's fun um our guest today is her own uh
ginger vigil uh she has a fantastic album out called baba luba it's luba magnus everybody
hello hello where do you stand on gingerbread uh i'm i'm kind of neither here nor there i don't
love i don't seek it out but if it's in front of me i eat it you know yeah yeah but i feel that way
much more sugar cookie like give me just the sugar cookie with the
the piping icing i'm good yes i feel like i'm a lot more of a uh i feel uh i thought gingerbread
was like the number one cookie of all time but i find that i'm unique in my love for it
yeah i mean i like it thick too i like it bready. Ooh, girl.
I spilled coffee on myself saying that.
I gesticulated too hard.
Should we get to Noah?
Yeah.
Luba, you are joining us from all the way on the other side of the country.
You are in Halifax, Nova Scotia.
I am.
What is the sports team out there?
Go Ravens?
Moose Heads?
Yes, go Moose Heads.
Yeah, there's no... It's going to be your year.
Yeah, sure.
I know so little about it.
I should go to one, though.
I know so little about it.
I should go to one though.
Like I'm not much of a sports person,
but I do like,
you know,
it kind of helps you get into the,
where you are as the local sports team.
So yeah.
Yeah.
Getting into the spirit of things.
Yeah.
Um,
you,
uh, you're born and raised in Ontario.
Yes.
And then you,
you've made the move to Halifax,
which a lot of people,
that's kind of a different move than a lot of people make.
Do you have family there?
Or why Halifax?
No, I am.
So it's kind of a, this is a long tale.
Let me take you on a journey.
Oh, yeah, please.
Dave's got some gingerbread.
He can gnaw on.
I finished it.
I finished it all.
I can go get more.
Sitting in front of a fireplace.
Perfect. Yeah. let's set the scene
i uh a long time ago originally i wanted to move here for school uh i did not get in
okay yeah i tried to come here for piano i took piano my whole life but i got nervous
and then i forgot how to play piano in my audition so I didn't get it oh no I completely choked it
was uh it was wild and I even went to the like after the audition you like sit in the hallway
and I must have looked like I did poorly and some guy was just like oh you know what it's fine like
we need students here everyone gets in oh no that's what everyone gets in you couldn't have been so bad that you don't get in
i was i was um tell me about the audition what were you supposed to play yeah oh i don't even
um piano man well well i don't remember now but yeah it was all like the conservatory like classical like i don't know william tell all over sure yeah yeah for sure
um but uh yeah i've always uh liked it out here and i think just post covid um like i think the
omicron shutdown was like i need to get out of toronto like i just need to be beside the sea yeah and then i am uh i i came here for a tour i was here
a little over a week and i was just i could just see it being a place where i could like live like
a quality of life thing it was really like oh i could do enough comedy and uh yeah be you know
happier as a human being so i literally have that every town i go to i'm
like yeah i could see living here there's a theater for sale i'll just become a theater
manager perfect no problem yeah yeah and i also i love nature and there's uh it's everywhere so
yeah oh hell yeah yeah i like it here a lot yeah it's it's encroaching. We got to battle against it. We got to beat it back.
Stay away.
Gain some grand during the COVID, but we're getting back to it.
Good, good, good.
Now, Luba, you're the third Luba we've had on the show.
Wow.
We had Luba Goy.
Okay, yeah, that makes sense.
And we had the singer Luba who sang Let It Go, but not the one from Frozen.
Are those the only Lubas you know as well?
Oh, 100%.
And people come up to me all the time and mention either one.
They're like, well, you know there was a singer or you know Luba Goy.
And I'm just like, yeah, I know.
Now, I'm pleased as punch that we have another Ukrainian-Canadian on the show.
Yay.
Are you in touch with your ukrainian heritage like i'm not that's a great question uh i i would say not and i always wished i was more and there's lots of time
to be but um i don't speak ukrainian uh how many generations back did your family speak ukrainian
uh so it was my great-grandparents on my dad's mom's side who were they were ukrainian and then
my baba spoke ukrainian and i remember asking her to teach me and but that was in the day where like um the days where she didn't want you know to show
any kind of heritage you know she didn't want to talk she didn't want to talk to me she didn't
want to teach those were in the days where we were fighting yeah she would she would speak
ukrainian but not tell me what yeah she uh you know she's just like we speak english and that's that so yeah
did you uh i feel like when i went to a ukrainian household in edmonton they would pronounce
uh things like kubasa instead of kielbasa do you ever have any of that kind of like
do you say pierogies or pierogi i think well pierogi isn't it petahay or i okay all right that's probably the only word i know
i went to a town where the biggest attraction in the town is a giant
kielbasa sausage that was put there by the
kielbasa plant that's in town but it had it had a heart on the bottom of it and when the sun would
hit it at a certain point of day it just looked like a shadow of a penis over the whole time
um yeah is uh um dave is your grandmother a baba or is that no i had no baba i was babaless um
i had my grandmother i think my grandmother on the shumka side was actually polish
but okay my grandfather his father his parents i think, spoke Ukrainian, but that was well before I was born.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Do either of you have any inclination?
Well, I know Dave doesn't, but like track heritage, if Dave's uninterested in this heritage.
Well, no, I'm not not interested.
It's like, oh, actually, my father-in-law, he's super interested, and he's's done his so he'll just do everyone else's he'll
just like tell me again oh your father your you know your great-grandfather was the mayor of
ethalbert manitoba oh that sounds very specific luba have you ever dove into your uh family tree
i a little bit it used to be something that interested me a lot and my mom is deep into the
like ancestry.com stuff it interests me but it also especially it makes me very anxious as well
I don't know why I I think maybe just because I do come from like several different backgrounds
but I can't fully identify with any of them, you know,
like I was born and raised here.
So then I can try to relate,
but I can never relate as much as being from anywhere else.
So then,
yeah,
just the whole concept of backgrounds,
it makes me very nervous,
actually,
especially having the name Luba and people,
you know,
approach me like speaking Ukrainian.
And I'm like,
no,
no,
no.
And then I feel bad, but it's my name, you know, but, you know, me like speaking ukrainian and i'm like no no no and then i feel bad but it's my
name you know but uh you know i very much i i love it as much as it you know i i feel i feel like i
let people down yeah sorry no you know you're doing great here uh you're not letting us down. Perfect.
Yeah, I don't have an ancestry person, but I know somebody, a cousin of my family did it and found out that our unique connective individual was a man who had two families that didn't know about each other.
Oh, cool. So the family tree splits off in two very different directions
because this guy uh bigamist polygamist if it's just bigamy just bigamy um well isn't it like
like half the world or half like anyone who descends from european ancestry can trace it back to charlemagne really because he was getting it on
left and right oh cool yeah i wonder how many people in gene simmons family uh he managed to
sire in his day him being the sexist uh sexiest sex symbol that i can think okay who else is like nick cannon was that another nick yeah nick cannon and did you know so nick cannon has like 11 or 12 kids he's got two with mariah
carey that are like 10 years old and then the other 10 are like all under three years old yeah
i i think i saw a breakdown of it recently and i could be wrong i'm sorry if i'm
lying on your podcast but i feel like he there's a baby with one and then a baby with another person
and then a baby with the person yeah he's definitely gone back and forth okay really
okay wow that's very understanding of those i think maybe with like kind of like going in a
circle with through like or triangle i guess yeah you get I guess. You get a baby, then you get a baby, then you get a baby.
You want another baby?
Okay, you get a baby.
Wasn't George Foreman like that?
Didn't he have a whole mess of kids?
I know he had a lot of kids named George,
but I think I don't know how many families or mothers there were.
Yeah, my whole family, there's only one
kid.
So he's going to have to
carry on the family name.
Oh, of the
next generation.
Yeah, got one.
Heavy as the head, right?
You need to start getting people pregnant, Graham.
Well, I've had an offer in
from Nick Cannon cannon but i
don't know how that's gonna work um louis you uh unless i misunderstand you are an animator are you
still an animator out there or we're an animator yeah so i'm right now with the little animation
studio that's actually in toronto and i work remotely and I'm an assistant director there.
I don't do much animation anymore except for my own stuff.
But it is it is an animation studio.
So I'm still in I'm in the world.
I I'm in it.
I want to know what your stuff is.
What is the what is the stuff you're working on in your own accord?
I like to make my own little cartoons uh i guess i've slowed down a little bit since covid but especially
during covid i was just like making cartoons to pass the time and throwing them online and i used
to run a show called uh drawn up at comedy bar in toronto where the show was run by cartoons so i
animated this little robot and he would introduce the axe and then I would like make animated sketches to like keep the show running um I love it and yeah and and now I've
started doing um uh like I like doing one-liners as part of like my longer sets and I've started
showing like if there's a projector I'll show animations to coincide with the jokes so yeah i animate yeah you could say i animate
are you boy i'm gonna i'm so stupid do you use a computer yes i do that's it no that's a great
question yeah i'm not classically trained i can barely does anyone do that does anyone draw to like do like multiple cells or whatever yeah yeah
some do and i think a lot of it is now like hand drawn on a tablet that and then right onto the
computer but yeah that's still cell animation still exists yeah huh yeah yeah well how did you
did you go to school for it before you went to go to piano school or did you do this is what
happens if you don't get into piano school i uh so once i uh failed to go to school for piano
laurier uh out in waterloo took me in they're like well you can do a general major and i just
took film there and then later on you're the very college darn it i was trying to i was trying to think of the line what a general you're the very model of a modern general major general major though
i i can't even think of how to twist that around to very model of a general major
general man yeah yeah almost okay there we go um uh but then i went back to college after that
for editing and effects and then i used the effects software to teach myself animation
so long story short yes i went to school but i will tell anyone you can find anything online
and then all you have to do is put stuff online like the reason i started getting jobs was just
because i put the stuff that i made online you know and people are like oh so you can do it this podcast we burn cds and we hand them out
after concerts and uh yeah we won't put this podcast online we refuse to do it we'll drop
you know the show out of an airplane but right i haven't transcribed onto pamphlets and then drop it into a war
tower zone
and a recording of this is on a
golden record out in space
in case I don't come across any
aliens and such
we broadcast it into people's fillings
at the dentist
I don't think I've ever heard that
as an actual conspiracy i've heard it
referenced as like a cuckoo thing to believe but was it was it an actual conspiracy thing or is it
i don't think it was a conspiracy i think it was like a uh like oh this guy was here in well you
know just like top 40 radio it is is. You gotta be happy with that.
Top 40.
It's going to change all the time.
Um,
so what,
uh,
what type of activities you get up to?
You said you're an outdoorsy person.
Are you a hiker?
Are you a kayaker?
Those are the two things I know.
I am a hiker and I'm new to foraging.
Okay.
We'll throw out the rest of the show.
Mostly, I just like identifying mushrooms.
I've never done mushrooms.
Great for people who do, but I've never done them.
I just love looking at them.
Do you like, do you like eating them?
Like the food ones?
I do.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They rule.
They do.
They rule.
It's so crazy how good they are.
It's crazy how it's impossible.
Like to, it doesn't matter.
You know how they, how you, have you heard that like brussels
sprouts changed over the years like really 30 years ago there was a different more bitter
strain of brussels sprouts and that's why they kind of became more popular now is because there's
a the brussels sprouts we buy now are different than the brussels sprouts that they used to sell
oh shit that's okay that's crazy but also i only recently discovered what
brussels sprouts look like before they're chopped off of their plant do you guys know
they look kind of like well go ahead yeah yeah i described it like a big stick coming out of
the ground and then like if you were to like tickle it and it got goosebumps, the Brussels sprouts are the goosebumps. Like that.
It's messed up.
Good visual.
It makes me sick.
But they're very popular now.
Like, you know, the cool restaurants will fry you up some.
Oh, yeah.
With a bit of bacon?
Perfect.
Yeah, but they didn't.
You tell that to someone in the 80s but but i wonder if
have mushrooms changed or is it just something that you have to be an adult to like
oh i that's a good question because i definitely hated them when i was a kid but uh there was i
was a picky eater there was a lot yeah they're so spongy yeah i like them on pizza i always
like them on pizza that's uh that was my gateway to mushrooms yeah but you i hear that a lot yeah you weren't turning down any pizza you you had four roommates
underground right yeah uh they were named after uh artists well yeah so i guess in that
scenario i'm splinter yeah i guess that's the case cool uh-huh did i ever talk about the on the podcast where i led
amanda brooke parent down this path going to new york leonardo leads first of all
she was asking about recommendations for uh a pizza place i was like oh there's this great
one in brooklyn and four brothers own it and uh and I just like strung her along until
she said what are their names Leonardo
Michelangelo
Donatello
sometimes it doesn't you know they have
trouble getting the pizzas made but then
Donatello does machines yeah that's
right he figures it out at the end
yeah then
now on your album you talked about having you have
mushrooms in your house like you have i did uh they it was in one of my house plants it was a
very hot summer and i guess i watered my plant too much which encourages if there were any spores in
there they're going to turn into mushrooms and they did and uh i i maybe i i've read a lot of stuff online where like,
oh,
you can leave it.
It doesn't hurt the plant.
And I was just so freaked out that there were mushrooms in my house.
I,
it just gave me the creeps.
They just popped up overnight.
I'm like,
no,
out of here.
And I just,
I just threw them away.
Yeah.
And that's,
and I love mushrooms.
I'm like,
not in my house.
Yeah.
Oh,
I see.
You've taken up foraging and that means uh you go out and you find stuff
right you dig through the dirt and you look up what do you do you just take me on a day uh
in the life of a forager sure so i again i'm very new and i haven't uh they say before you eat a mushroom you should be able to correctly identify it three times
so if i see like a chanterelle i should be able to find it three times and without mistaking it
for a jack-o'-lantern an easy look alike but toxic uh three times so basically what i do is i just go
for hikes and i look around and i take pictures of what i find and i try to
identify it and i'm just getting used to like well so and then do you ever find and do you have like
a reference book that you go with yeah yeah i have a couple a couple books and then there's like apps
and stuff online but they're not that great they're they're they fall for the jack-o'-lantern
trick a lot they're like yeah, yeah, it's fine.
They do.
One time I took a picture of a mushroom and it just said,
this is a fungus.
I'm like,
I know.
Establish a better connection.
In the meantime,
this is the fungus.
Um,
the,
uh,
what is,
how do you tell the difference between a jack-o'-lantern and a chanterelle?
Okay.
It's the concurrent gills and
good start
uh whereas one kind of like stops at the stem um uh what else oh the jack-o'-lanterns actually
glow in the dark oh yeah but you only notice that after you eat them. When you're tripping balls. Yeah, and you're Spider-Man now.
Now I'm just imagining a superhero named Mushroom Man.
He's got a big mushroom on his chest.
And everyone's like, hey, what's with the dick silhouette?
It's actually just Toad from Mario.
He's like, I'm a superhero, I swear.
What is Toad's deal? What is he up to? Is mario he's like i'm a superhero i swear what is toad's deal what is he up to is he just mario's friend he's just yeah he runs the races in mario kart i think he's like
here we go there's race number right but you can race as him though can't you yes okay yeah he's
like a conflict of interest if he's running the races that is true maybe when he's in the race maybe
it's wario drops the flag because uh nobody wants to race against wario right am i right
i mean i'm yeah i'm brave do you do either of you play mario kart oh yeah what are you
the weird thing is sorry to interrupt you. I'm so sorry. I got really excited.
Over COVID, I got a Switch.
My brother already had one.
And then I went to visit my parents and my mom was like, what's that?
And then she bought one.
And now every weekend we play Mario Kart over Switch.
Like we're all on Zoom and we play Mario Kart just as a family from our difference. So they're in Niagara
and my brother's in Sudbury and I'm here and we all play Mario Kart. That's how we bond as a family.
Did you play Animal
Crossing as well? Yes. That took off during lockdown.
Is that, I've never played that. Is that a foraging game? It is.
It's 100 a foraging game it is it's 100 foraging um who do you prefer
to play as in mario kart um uh usually i'm shy guy and uh yellow i choose the color yellow but
recently i've started going and i can't believe i forget her name but there's a dog is it izzy
no there's a dog in Animal
Crossing that's yeah yeah yeah I don't know the name either yeah but usually it's Shy Guy yeah
what about you guys uh Wario he's okay I love I'll do whatever I like to mix it up I'm playing
against uh children so I'm trying to not to blow away. My wife always likes to be Roy.
Who's Roy?
I don't know.
Just some guy?
And then you can customize your car.
I have no idea what makes it better or worse.
I go for combinations that don't work well together.
Yeah.
I haven't played a video game in a very long
time but i suspect i would very much like them if i if i did because i remember liking them but
i've never gone back and explored that part of my childhood or whatever um you have both of you
have systems you dave you play hockey right or you don't anymore or do you i play hockey uh on my
xbox i don't know two hours a year it's becoming a bit of a problem
i get really excited about it and i forget
luba how many hours a day are we talking video games a day
honestly these days it's just the time playing with my family on sunday but during lockdown
probably an embarrassing amount it was a bad animal crossing really got me got me bad yeah
and those are the only two games I have.
I don't have any other games.
Yeah.
That's oh,
you just have Mario cart and animal cross.
That's good.
What else do you need?
Maybe this hockey one.
Dave seems so crazy about.
Yeah.
Oh boy.
Putting in the,
putting in the time.
Um,
yeah,
I,
because I know people that spend a certain amount of time every day oh yeah video
games and uh i mean is it better than napping maybe not maybe it's just the same as lying there
and just staring off into space like i get for me i guess i just feel like i feel guilty if i'm not
accomplishing something right what if you're winning at the game? It's fine, but I know that
people just use it to relax, and I'm like,
well, I can't do that. That's for other people.
Relaxing?
No, sir.
I could be braising
something.
Do you ever braise?
I never braise, because I don't
eat meat, so there's not many things that you can braise.
What can you braise vegetable-y wise?
Yeah.
Actually, here's the thing.
I don't know what braising is.
Braising is like slow cooking, isn't it?
Okay.
Yeah.
What's the difference between braising and just roasting?
This is an excellent question.
I would like to know the answer i think braising uh is like you put it in a liquid uh and like you you you know whatever stock or
wine or whatever and onions and then if it's meat you know when you're done braising oh it's falling
off the bone i see okay I see. Okay. Interesting.
Because you don't see many people do it on like a chopped or a beat Bobby Flay.
Does that would take too long?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Even if they put it in the pressure cooker.
Anyways, lots of my knowledge of what cooking is comes from those two programs.
And I think the best thing to do is to find four ingredients that you don't think
will go together and then make a mash-up of them is that what uh what show is that that's chopped
okay like what four ingredients would not go together like what would they give you oh like
last night it was like the dessert round it was like cherries pig's tail some kind of weird exotic liqueur and uh i can't remember
what the fourth one was chunk of wood yeah chunk of wood and some people carve that into a spoon
and then they're like this was very smart use of the wood um but yeah it's uh it's a funny show i
can't get enough of it because everybody's so sure they're going to win. That's my favorite. In the beginning, they're
so sure this is going to go their way. And then at the end
when they finish, every single person says, well, this loss
is not going to stop me from cooking. As if that was part of the deal that they signed
up for. Hey, did your
not getting into piano school stop you from
playing piano do you still play uh no but i still use those skills does that make sense like if i'm
making one of my cartoons i can use garage band and the keyboard on there just go like
you know like i can i can play a tune but i don't i like i don't own a piano anymore what's
your favorite key g okay just straight straight up g just g yeah yeah nice g good work you guys
that was the same note yeah that was g for good yeah That was cheap. For good. Yeah.
No one goes on reality shows.
Are there producers who say you have to go in,
you have to like give a, talk to the camera and you have to be confident.
They won't let you give a statement that's like,
hey, win or lose, who cares?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think after your defeat,
you're allowed to say whatever you want.
But yes, before everybody has to say like,
I'm ready to slam down in Chinatown or wherever, whatever the theme is for that episode.
And but like I say, it's great.
A lot of times people cut themselves and then they have to paramedic has to come in and then tape up their wound and put a rubber glove on it.
And a lot of times they're like, we can't eat this because you pled in it.
OK, is that going to affect me going to the next round yeah oh yeah probably um do you watch any any cooking shows at all luba or
any reality tv at all oh okay lots of reality tv most of my cooking reality comes from tiktok
right now okay two good accounts there's uh one called andy cooks
and uh there's this chef and he he cooks as he will but i like a lot of the times he's just like
uh asking his wife or his girlfriend i'm not sure what the dynamic is but it's just like uh what do
you want and she's like i want uh pancakes and's like, yes. And then he like really excitedly makes it.
And then he feeds it to her.
And she's like, this is always the same reaction.
So I was like, mmm.
And like, I believe she likes it.
But it's like, if that were me just getting food from a chef every day, I'd be like, fuck, yes.
Thank you.
Thank you for making this.
There's this,'s this good food again
um and then what's the other one yeah um it's called men with the pot and you never see their
faces and they're always cooking outside in the woods um so it's all these like close-up
shots of like throwing meat in the pan and chopping these
vegetables and sometimes it gets really like sexual okay they like handle the food which
makes me uncomfortable i'm like nah i just wanted to see food but then they'll like put a chicken
down and then like slap it i'm like don't slap it you gotta slap the chicken make some fresh you gotta slap
and uh but uh but you know it's a it's a good channel and then they then then they show their
dog and then they give some food to the dog and he's just like cool the uh you know who i think
the two are daft punk that's why you can't see their face that would be nice i follow a guy i like uh on instagram his name thomas straker
and he for for months he was just making different butters like he would just make like uh like
truffle butter or like uh some kind of garlic butter and he would just and it's just like
you know super fast cutting like super fast editing and it's just like you know super fast cutting
like super fast editing and it's like
add ingredient add ingredient the whole thing
takes 15 seconds and then he
scoops up a big thing of butter throws it on
bread or whatever
it's fun it's good
he did one that was just like
fried chicken butter where he just took like the
skin that was all crispy
and mix that
into butter it was whoa it's something you're i'm never gonna eat but it's just imagine it
like imagine it goes imagine you try to make it you're like oh this sucks yeah i have a pound of
bad butter yeah but you know you could throw in the raccoon to. I mean, is that what you want to attract more raccoons to your house?
Yeah, I had a bag of chips the other day that were supposed to be Kentucky Fried Chicken flavor,
and they couldn't have missed the mark more.
It just tasted like an everyday kind of chip.
But I had one, and I was like, well, I'm in for this whole bag
because they're not going to throw it out.
Was it KFC brand?
Like, did they back it up?
It was Ruffles brand.
Ruffles.
But it had Colonel Sanders on the page.
Yeah, yeah, I see it now.
Because you'd think that they'd provide the spices.
Yeah, I see it here on Walmart.ca.
Out of stock.
Oh, shit.
Yeah, they sold out. Okay, yeah. I could see why they would sell out. That's why I bought it out of walmart.ca out of stock. Oh, shit. Yeah, they sold out.
Okay.
Yeah, I can see why they would sell out.
That's why I bought it out of the vending machine.
I was like, this rules.
And then it didn't.
So, buyer beware.
Maybe they didn't sell out.
Maybe they're like,
ooh, we didn't do it.
We did not get that.
Yeah, they threw it in a hole,
paved over them.
I'm surprised it made it to a
vending machine like doesn't don't they usually vending machines are usually like you know
perennials you don't usually get a uh a new flavor in a vending machine this vending machine the
stuff changes every week and seldom is there a reoccurring item okay i don't know who's filling
it or if they just got like a free agent that's just doing
whatever products he feels like or she feels like or they feel like i'll ask you off air where you're
going to this vending machine because i don't want to blow up your spot thank you i appreciate that
um a couple weeks ago i talked about uh seeing a cake vending machine
it's a cake boss version of a of a vending machine
and i was like who would ever eat that me of course if i had the time and braveness to eat
a cake in the airport but i saw a couple of ladies sharing one and i was like this i i could do it if
there's someone else but me sitting there eating cake by myself it's too it's too sad yeah i mean a cupcake though a cupcake but not a whole slice of cake
i want to see an ice cream cake vending machine oh my god
that would be amazing but also somehow a little more sad because you have to eat the cake very
fast yeah fast very fast and it's just like oh
i got this for fun and now i just have a mission where can you get an ice cream cake other than
dairy queen oh that's a good question i know in america there's a place called carvel
is there do they ever sell them at costco they sell an ice cream cake at costco
oh i won't i i don't know i I'm not allowed in there after I did some stuff.
What did you do again?
I forget.
It was something.
I was acting out stuff from past guest Matt O'Brien's Twitter account.
He loves Costco.
He loves Costco.
He's always urinating loudly there.
In Halifax, first of all, do you have an Ikea in Halifax?
Yes.
Okay.
All right.
Yeah.
So if you have an Ikea, you must also have a Costco.
I feel like Costco's come first and then Ikea's.
Or am I wrong?
We do have a Costco.
I haven't been.
I've only been to a Costco once.
What?
But I feel stuck right now because someone gave me a costco gift
certificate and i can't but you need a membership don't you exactly so i'm stuck yeah we have yeah
abby has her mother's membership and her father's eyes uh but we uh uh so she can go but i cannot go oh really so you have to because isn't it like you and a buddy
can come in or a kid of yours or something oh you can bring you can go in but i can't like
go off on my own oh no that's true yeah i need unless you wear a wig yeah that's true there i
remember the only time i went was when our daughter, one of our daughters was very young and we, uh, we were like, you know, you put the kid in a cart, you walk around, they fall asleep.
But the floors were so smooth at Costco that they're like, you didn't generate enough kind of vibration to put the kid asleep.
And so it was just miserable.
Um, yeah, I know people that go to costco for fun that's kind of their fun outing is to go to costco and just look at all the goods do they have samples back the samples
were a big thing yeah yeah well no one knows and is there a food court like Ikea? Is that, do you need to be a member to eat?
Oh, they do have, yeah, they have, no, I don't think you need to be a member to eat because they have like dollar hot dogs or something.
Yeah.
And the guy who founded Costco, he sold it to another company, but he said specifically, if you raise the price of hot dogs, I will come back and kill you. Yeah kill you yeah or was it there's isn't there a similar story with like rotisserie chicken like
the rotisserie chicken has to always be five dollars five dollar rotisserie chicken holy
shit well that's what they've got to see in the door and then you're suddenly you're
gobbling up uh whatever else they're selling there i don't know i'm not allowed to go
um yeah so what are you gonna do with this gift certificate lua you got how much is it for Goblin up whatever else they're selling there. I don't know. I'm not allowed to go.
Yeah.
So what are you going to do with this gift certificate, Lua?
How much is it for?
Yeah. It's $100.
Oh, shit.
You could buy so many ice cream cakes.
Yeah.
Presumably.
Yeah.
You could get a big thing, a laundry detergent.
This is what my wife brings home.
A four pack of Sensodyne.
Nice.
Good for our sensitive teeth.
I don't know what I'm going to.
I think I'm just going to wait it out.
You know?
Yeah, see who blinks first.
You or Costco.
I really don't know.
I hope it doesn't expire. I don't know. I don't know what to it doesn't expire i don't know i don't know what
to do maybe i can maybe i'll donate it how much is a costco membership i'm gonna look it up how
much is oh yeah because maybe you can use it towards a costco membership whoa all the
you can carry that's how they get you now that's how they get you. It depends. Do you want to be a gold star member or an executive?
And by the way, which do you think is higher?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, is it not?
Oh, gold star is going to be higher.
No, gold star is the bottom of the barrel, the worst.
Wow.
If you're a gold star member, you suck.
What do you get for being an
executive member you get to vote okay you can with both you can shop at all costco locations and
online okay that's fair you get two membership cards for you and someone in your household
not your daughter who lives in a different city but with the executive you get an annual two percent
reward on qualified warehouse online and costco travel purchases oh if you're not you got to go
to costco travel you can stay at any costco in the world in their bed section uh you get exclusive
offers and additional discounts and you get you receive Costco Connection magazine by mail.
Oh, shit.
I've definitely been in a doctor's office where that is the magazine sitting on the tables.
Costco Connection.
Yeah.
I miss journalism.
So that's why I subscribe to it.
I just want to support all those people who went to journalism school and ended up writing for Costco Connection magazine.
Still a gig's a gig dave um yeah i so by the way we didn't give we didn't do prices
oh yeah prices yes we gotta know okay gold star stupid gold star sixty dollars a year okay
are you disgusted by that amount i am i don't want to pay 60 to go to a store
but then you get 100 free dollars you have this gift card and then i can you i'm one i'm hoping
you can use the gift card towards a membership and then you have 40 left over to you know
it's walking around money. To kill small business?
Yeah.
I'm so sorry.
I couldn't hold it back anymore.
I don't want to go to Costco.
I don't like it.
Okay.
Well, before you decide.
The executive membership.
$120 a year. Holy shit. Yeah. yeah wow and you get the magazine
mail to your house you don't have to go pick it up yeah
now here's a question that i've always wondered oh who's the centerfold this month
corn dogs eric from the samples department.
Who do you think gets to decide what movie and or TV show is playing on the TVs and the TV section?
Do you think that's the boss is doing that?
Or is that from headquarters?
Or you don't think the employees are allowed to do it?
I feel like you're opening up a conspiracy here.
This is something I haven't thought of.
Yeah.
I feel like for a long time they were always on avatar avatar seemed to be the movie of choice to show off your
uh your cool tv but i don't know i've look if i worked in a store that had tvs i'd want to i'd
want to put them on or after hours i for sure would want to put you know something scandalous
you're dancing in the rain and stuff like that. Singing in the rain. Singing and dancing in the rain.
Well, boy, it's
since this episode's coming out, we're recording this live on
January 2nd. And so we've all seen the new Avatar
at this point. Oh, yeah. What did we think of it?
Pretty wild how it predicted exactly what happened on
january 1st i'll tell you is that or did it come out oh i guess it wouldn't come out the second
man i blew our cover i don't know when it i don't know when it came out it came out recently but we
all saw it everybody that reviewed it said the plot is crap do they say it thickens like no it doesn't think it just it stays at a very
thin uh thin kind of paste uh but they say you have to see it in the theater so that's what
everybody's gonna do and then he's just gonna make eight more of them yeah i was thinking it
would be funny if there was a big long scene where they were like a politician came by and was like
hey you navi i hey i support the navi
and the navi were like it's actually pronounced navi you've been doing it wrong what yeah that
seems like a pretty good sort of like a colorado colorado thing what do you say colorado i don't
know i say colorado or nevada nevada nevada that's what i would say here's a question to bring it back to
mario i say mario but a lot of people say mario it is mario everywhere but i think most of canada
says mario mario yeah we're weird like that there's pasta pasta pasta, pasta. We get a lot of blowback on that. Yeah. Yeah.
And drama.
Oh, yeah.
Drama, drama.
What's, okay, how about this?
What is the, what's guacamole made out of?
Avocados.
Avocado.
Wow. Wow.
You better get to know your country, you know?
Hey, there's no wrong way to eat a Reese's Dave what's going on with you my friend what's going on with me here's what's going on with me um I uh so a couple weeks ago I was playing hockey not the
video game I was playing real life hockey right um but it was something something happened that's going to affect my ability to play the
video game oh shit is i uh was skating and i skated very badly and i fell on my on my little
butt and as i was bracing myself to fall i uh jammed my finger up into my all the way up my arm
the finger like i lost my finger i had to pull it out of my sleeve
like uh no i it hurt very much and i was like oh that's not good uh did it turn black or anything
it turned purple okay okay and i got really swollen um not it wasn't my ring finger so i so you can stay married you're still married technically
but like yeah if it had it had it been my ring finger i probably would have i probably would
have lost it um and then it you know felt pretty bad for a few days and i was like i should see
the doctor i'm too busy didn't go see the doctor and as the old finger doing and then finally i was not busy
and then i made an appointment with my doctor and they were like okay we can see you in five more
days and but at that point it was getting better and i was it was uh i went to the doctor and i
said uh look at this look at this yeah check this out and he was like huh hmm my doctor's very much uh like
hey what do you what do you want to do with it what do you want to do about it
like last this summer my foot was really bothering me and i and he said uh do you
want to get an x-ray and i was like i don't know and he's like no you don't want to get an x-ray
if you did you you'd commit to
it right now but but then this time so this time he uh he was like okay oh yeah i had bought a
splint at the drugstore just to like not bend my finger yeah and he was like oh yeah you don't want
to split that so stop splinting that but wearing a splint is so much fun and you get to maybe like push an
elevator button with it it's very super villain to have one finger doing something different than
the rest of the hand oh sure check this out yeah exactly
dave's doing a thing where you clasp your hands
together and wiggle around your middle fingers
your middle fingers through it
and then open the
here's the church, here's the steeple
how do you do it?
you do that
and then your middle fingers go through
oh I see
oh yeah
I can't do the this though oh wow the oh the the
how old do you have to be to do the the unattached thumb for a kid that they would enjoy it or or get
it get with the guy how old do the kid have to be or you? How old do you have to be? How old does the kid have to be?
You have to be about 75.
A little bit drunk.
So I went to the doctor for the finger and I said, look at this.
And he's like, okay, wow.
What do you call that?
Your finger's going to be a star.
He said, Cause also I broke
I broke my toe a year ago
And they were like
The doctor was like
Oh what do you wanna do about it
You can't do anything about that
You can tape it to another toe but
Did you
What did you hurt your toe doing
I forget
Um
Walking in my house without
Shoes on
Mmm
Just stubbed it
Mega stubbed it
But then so I went to the doctor and he was like uh
i think it's probably fine you should you this time he didn't even ask do you want to get an
x-ray he said you should go get an x-ray yeah i went to get an x-ray and uh it was they it's my
middle finger they made me do this in the x-ray. They made me hold on my middle finger.
Fun.
That's pretty cool.
Yeah.
And it was...
So they got the results back and my doctor called me up and he said,
Well, you have a little fracture in your finger.
What do you think?
Do you want to go to the hand clinic?
I was like, I don't know.
What is the hand clinic?
I said, what do you think?
And he said, yeah, you should probably go to the hand clinic.
He's the
endocyphers
the cyphers.
Sorry, I blew it. You need to go to the mouth
clinic.
Do you want to go to the mouth clinic?
Are you hitting on me?
Louisville, have you ever broken an appendage?
Never.
Never? Nothing?
Never.
Wow.
Wow, congratulations.
This is my first x-ray, I think, ever.
Oh, yeah?
Really?
Yeah.
I don't think I've come...
Like, I've broken my toe toe but they can't do anything
about it so they don't bother x-raying it but they do you get it at the oh yeah i have dentist
x-rays yeah i guess so but this one it was weird they at this clinic they weren't like
put on this lead vest they're just like zapping you yeah um yeah i'm amazed that you've gone through life without not even a like what about a sprain
have you ever had a sprain for sure a sprain and i remember um in high school or maybe even
elementary school i uh what do you call it oh jammed a finger yeah so i was trying to
not even volley a volleyball i was just trying to catch it
and it just very lightly but the wrong way tapped the tip of my i guess right hand ring finger oh
yeah and i remember being in so much pain that i just fell right to the floor
and someone was like let me help you up and they like pulled my hand and i was like no
anyways but that's yeah the worst of it no fair enough so i'm going to the hand clinic tomorrow
oh shit okay i'll get i'll update you but i have no idea what are they gonna do
i don't know but see if they got costco connections in the waiting room uh the other thing that's going on is i had a or my daughter uh my daughter
who's now at the time of this release is six but at the time of the recording is five
that's right because christmas eve right christmas eve yeah uh poppy is uh she's had a wiggly tooth
for like two months it's crazy how long these teeth hold on when they're wiggly.
And yesterday we were driving to school and she noticed that she tasted blood in her mouth.
And then her sister looked at her and she's like, your tooth is sideways.
Oh, shit.
Okay. oh shit okay and so we were uh and so poppy was like okay i'm not gonna talk the rest of this
morning because she really wanted to not lose her tooth before school she wanted to lose it at school
oh to be like cool individual like hey you're the one who lost the tooth and if you lose your
tooth at school you uh you get a
you get to go to the office and get a little uh tooth plastic tooth necklace to keep your tooth
safe for the rest of the day oh shit so she had this whole thing planned out
when she said she lost it in like the first five minutes of school so then she got to get this
little container yeah well done well done poppy um i
don't know if you saw there was people lined up to get uh like a replica of a sky train yesterday
yeah that made me think of that like yeah if you got in this lineup you could get this guy train
keychain but uh they sold out in like an hour. Why do they always do that?
I don't.
There's so many things.
That should be something, if you want to just get it,
it should be available in vending machines.
People shouldn't have to line up for this weird token
to get on a public transportation.
Yeah.
I feel like my vending machine that I frequent
is probably going to have them in the next couple of weeks.
But I don't want to, again, I don't want to say where it is on the air.
Oh, yes.
Yeah.
Thank you.
But I don't want to blow up your spot.
Thank you very much.
Look, I have a lot of respect for your spot.
But you know what?
Tell me where it is.
I'll bleep it.
Oh, sure.
Yeah.
And I've got, you know, like when there's a string of ads or whatever i got some time i'll go to the vending machine and uh chop you know go what are the things i would like to
buy what are the things i would not at all ever buy you know you you actually give some thought
to the things you'd never buy what are the things you'd never buy in the vending machine like a package of sour candies i don't not a big sour candy guy i wouldn't get those
i wouldn't get like uh like a dorito i don't really love doritos so i wouldn't get a dorito
i you know what i wouldn't get from a vending machine pretzels yeah that's a good i like
pretzels but i don't want a whole bag of them yeah that's true
that's very true huh what about you luba what would something like what's your favorite favorite
thing that you've ever gotten out of a vending machine because like for a long time it was my
thing where the bottle like the coke bottle would go on the little conveyor belt and then drop
down i thought that was the best thing i've ever seen oh yeah i for me my uh
gobstoppers you remember gobstoppers i used to get gobstoppers out of a vending machine
wow the worst the worst thing i could ever get would be a sandwich oh yeah yeah
i can't do i can't do that.
Yeah.
At that point you should just eat candy.
If you're eating a sandwich out of a vending machine.
There's no nutrients left.
No.
Oh yeah.
Oh I know.
What do they call that?
An automat that is like those old timey.
Like where there's just a bunch of them kind of thing?
Yeah.
A bunch of of prepared foods.
Yeah.
Like a pumpkin pie and a apple pie.
That sounds delicious.
Ice cream cake.
Ice cream cake.
But yeah, a sandwich.
If I'm ever buying a sandwich at a store,
I need to see the date it was prepared on.
Yeah.
That's true.
It needs to have been prepared within the last three months
or i'm not eating it and i don't know why but whenever i see a sandwich in like saran wrap
it doesn't matter what kind of sandwich it is i just picture it being i can it's tuna it could
be a ham sandwich but to me it's tuna i don't know why it's a mental thing if it's in saran wrap
it's gonna be it's tuna there's a sandwich place near where I work
that has
it's not good
but they have a display case
do you want to mention it or do you not want to
I'll say it and I'll bleep it
it's called
okay okay
and it's
I just like giving myself more editing to do
and it's they have like a display case, but everything that they sell, they end up just putting in a panini press.
Oh, okay.
And so it's like, oh, it's a beautiful like croissant sandwich and it's like big and puffy and then they just cram it all down.
yeah eating a cold sandwich is like i feel like that's a thing that i wouldn't i would hope never to do but maybe i've done it with egg salad before anyways i i've never done you've never
i've never bought a cold sandwich no really i bought one today and uh how was it was it pretty
good it was too cold my teeth are really sensitive i need some of that toothpaste
graham what's going on with you i in the past week traveled from vancouver to toronto for
one day and then flew back so i was there for about maybe say like 56 hours i was there
and uh what a what a trip wait wait wait wait no you weren't one day it was 56 hours
no they're flying there and flying back right there's uh well that was there then there for
46 hours and then another night two five hour flights wow there's travel time in their day uh well i don't think it's i i want you to go
show me your calendar uh oh yes i will send you my calendar okay um anyways i was there for very
very short period of time to do uh uh like a corporate event thing you're so corporate these
days you're like you're mr suit and tie yeah was it costco it was costco i didn't want
to bring it up after all this talk of it um this was a reward for executive members yes that's
right with the anybody who'd purchased the kirkland pass which is the gold gold gold standard uh
you need to get this you need to get their app yes and then you get in the
lightning lane and then you can go past everyone else all the gold stars um well two things happen
first of all at the airport i the exact thing like you're saying lightning lane trusted passengers or
whatever they're called they get through nexus their line was stalled because it
was being very very slow in the machine and a bunch of us got through in the time that they
were waiting for and so that felt pretty good that felt pretty good like hey one for us one
for the average sometimes sometimes at the border uh crossing the border there's like a big lineup
for the nexus lane yeah and then but there's no one in the other lines and it's like
huh you guys could have just not gone in the fast lane oh yeah you're just showing off you love your
status um and uh this the place that i stayed was the door looked like it had been kicked down
and uh like and i'm not exaggerating i have a photo of
it was this a hotel or airbnb or this was a was a hotel uh that i can't even remember the name of
it was the something in and uh yeah it's there was a scrape like scrape marks all over the wall
and one of the elevators had the like brown padding that you use for like moving day or
whatever sure it's just hanging in
there elevator yeah like then we're not gonna put it up and take it down every time somebody moves
we'll just leave it up and uh the elevator was weird and uh the the it was like staying in an
airbnb but it was a hotel like it looked like a and kind of felt like a place that nobody's ever
had a weird roommate in your room. Yeah.
Well, he wasn't that weird.
He was just doing weird stuff.
He was actually a really normal guy, but he was like talking to his goldfish.
Yeah.
Music was coming out of his mouth.
So it's called singing, Graham.
Thank you.
So I went and stayed in the hotel and then when i was flying i did something very stupid uh where you know like sometimes they say well we'll check your bag
for free because there's not enough room on the flight for all the bags yeah we'll lose your bag
for free i don't know why i decided to do it there's literally no
advantage you get you have to drop it off right before the plane and then get on so you're carrying
that bag to to term and uh it's not a premature bag and then you just have to wait on the other
end for your bag to come out so why do they why did they do that and what was your
bag like a backpack it was uh it was a bag that most of the bag was just a jacket that i brought
a warm jacket because they didn't want to wear that at the airport yeah because i don't want
anybody to think i'm from the matrix or or a shooter of some kind. So yeah, I did that. It was very stupid.
Stayed in this freaky hotel.
Oh,
in the hotel,
there was,
there was one TV and you had to be sitting at the dining room table to see
it.
The couch was way off in the corner and you couldn't see the TV from the
couch.
So anyways,
I would recommend any of the ins in downtown Toronto.
Any of the kicked in ins.
Oh, and then I asked the guy at the desk.
He was checking me in, and I said, oh, is there a hotel bar around here?
And he was like, I wish.
So I said, where is the closest good restaurant? He said, you've got to go to whatever. It's like McGruffins. McGruff where is the like closest good uh restaurant he said you gotta go to whatever
it's like mcgruffins mcgruffins is the best it's young crowd they're great and it was the it was
the worst pub i think i've ever been at his his idea of what good is has been skewed so much by
this hotel that he thinks well what did you not like about this pub the bartender ignored me and then
when she finally did come over i asked her about a lager and she seemed annoyed at that and then
she poured the drink and i said can i move over to a table because i was sitting at the end of
the bar and it sucked and she was like well yeah that means i have to change your check or something
like that yeah and i was like yeah that's fine and then but she was upset about
it so then i sat at the table came over it was busy because i feel like there was no other bar
in that uh part of toronto so everybody was at mcguffin well they've all been put out of business
by this one that's the best i'm thrown that you were at an inn and went to a pub in toronto that's yeah are you sure that's where
you were were you not in the shire yeah oh no i was on the moors that's what i was on
um so yeah anyways uh if in toronto gotta go to mcguffin's some of the some of the saltiest
service in town and uh How was the show?
You haven't done a show like that in quite a while.
No, the show was good.
That was the one thing that actually went well.
It went well, and then everything else was kind of janky.
Up to and including me checking my bag for no reason whatsoever. How long was your set?
20 minutes.
Were you the only comedian?
Yeah.
I was the only comedian.
I was put on display like an animal and were you was there any other entertainment were you in between uh pub trivia
and uh pinata okay this corporate was for mcguffins so i just want to say it
uh there was a singer there was also a singer on the show. Oh, sure.
He sang some Christmas carols.
Oh, Michael Buble.
Michael Buble was there.
And we had a fun interaction where I called it bubbly.
And he said, no, leave me alone.
This is a fun interaction.
Actually, I don't like you.
Please stop calling me that.
So that's what's going on with me
do you guys want to move on to some overheards?
sure
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scandalous things we've done throughout our
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stories like how Jamila Jamil survived a horrific house party
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This is great.
Or how Hal Lublin learned a Shakespearean monologue in his pajamas.
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Overheard.
Overheard.
When you hear them, bring them here.
We'll make a good home for them.
Now, we always like to start with the guest.
Luba, do you have an overheard that you would be willing to share?
I do.
That's good musical.
Was that G?
What was that?
That was D.
Anyways.
I'm very excited for this because it happened literally just like a week ago and i i once i
heard it i was very excited i went to the library and uh which is ironically a very good place to
overhear conversations oh yeah yeah yeah and uh there uh were these two uh seemingly normal women
and uh i sat down and everything was pretty quiet.
They were pretty normal volume.
And then one of them just says, she's doing this all because he has a big cock.
And it wasn't like Sex and the City, like, all because he has a big cock.
No, it was like disgruntled.
It's ruining our lives.
All because he has a big cock.
No, it was like disgruntled angry. It's ruining our lives.
And all this because of his big cock.
Oh my God.
She's freaking building the Taj Mahal for this dude.
You're right though.
Libraries are a rich vein for overheards because everybody's being so quiet.
You know what else has a rich vein?
This man from Jacket to Cock.
He built a kielbasa statue to this guy.
Yeah, and was it, did you say the age of these people?
Or were you able to see what age we're talking about?
I would say, like, mid-40s.
Okay, okay.
When you get that age, you'll understand.
She was mad.
um she was yes she was mad i mean i would be mad if you weren't returning calls or something because you were so busy with
this man's uh gigantic wiener but but otherwise why would you be offended at all you know
it's perfectly natural and it's really kind of it's it would be annoying if you're like
we had plans but now she's doing all this
oh oh my god sorry what happened just knocked a box off of the island oh no no reason hey did
you overhear that yeah did you yeah that was my cat maybe the cat was like that guy's large cock
is ruining my life because i'm not
getting any attention right now now what's your plan here you're gonna put the box back up on the
the island because the cat's only gonna do it again exactly it's on my lap now and that's
don't put the box back i wanted to have it i a oh it's a it's a cardboard box what what uh like was it for
was it a package in the mail was it a food was the pizza box that's a cardboard box yeah
keep going okay uh something from amazon i'm picturing um some sort of it's not a fun frame we're not
gonna see it so let this is gonna be my official box with a huge okay that's what i'm assuming
that's what we're all assuming now as soon as you heard that you're like hi
i got something to add to my shopping list
i am a costco member now and they only serve them in you know big sizes You're like, hi, I got something to add to my shopping list.
I am a Costco member now, and they only serve them in big sizes.
Yeah.
I like it.
Buying in bulk, if you know what I mean.
I do.
I'm picturing that your box has a scrub brush in it.
That's my guess.
Official scrub brush.
I'm guessing it was a shoe box. love shoes true true luba i'm guessing you and you were using the shoe box you would cut it up
you were making a diorama of uh i want to say uh are you there god it's me, Margaret. That's pretty good.
Yeah.
Luva, which one of us is correct?
Or at least closer?
Yeah, it was just close.
It was like online order close.
So yeah, she was his closest.
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay. Yeah.
Dave, do you have one over?
Yes, I do.
Sort of.
No, not really.
I was at Sort of. No, not really.
I was at a school. I was waiting outside the school for the teacher to come and collect the children and bring them into the school.
And two boys were walking by me, about 12.
Let's call them grade 7s.
Oh, shit.
Okay.
And I just heard this little snippet
and one of them said so I called
and I accidentally said I was
him and the other kid said
accidentally
like you just pretended to be
someone else by accident yeah well that's
true yeah
also who are these kids calling
yeah I was surprised
to hear that children are these kids calling yeah i was surprised to hear that children are
calling people yeah yeah do they dave do that that age of kid have an iphone or something like that
or yeah what like a 12 year old maybe yeah okay my children do not okay but i don't think any children in their classes would either
right although maybe kids who have like daycare kids kids who like right to get a hold of their
parents yeah and also gives them something to do at daycare so that the one person running it
doesn't have to do anything yeah but um yeah like i was actually my kids don't even know my phone number
like i was trying to teach them i was like hey if you're ever over here like i was at their
grandparents house if you're ever over here call me let's practice using the phone like i was trying
to teach them how to use a landline to call me a skill that
will serve them well for the rest of their lives like there's a yeah a few years where you might
need to use a landline before you have your own phone yeah and it might be a disaster when you're
using it so uh and oh my god like in a lot of cases, you're going to need to dial nine.
That's true.
Hotels and whatnot.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
An officer, if you're ever at the, you know, if you're ever being, meeting with your lawyer.
Do, Luba, did you, when were you, what age were you when you got a phone?
20.
20. Okay. You went a full, full full growing up no phone well they didn't yeah it wasn't a thing
yeah that's yeah also graham how old were you when you got your first cell phone i got one
in i think when i was 17 it was like a flip phone very very old school. Oh my. And that was my mom's way of tracking my whereabouts was calling this phone and asking where I was.
I think I was 21.
Okay.
All right.
And it was, it was 2002.
I had just gotten back from a trip to Europe and everyone there was texting each other.
And I was like, like huh no one texts in
north america as far as i know no one i know has a phone would text me yeah and still no one ever
has this flip phone would never would never text it's a it was only numbers it was a phone only
there's no games not there wasn't even a screen it was just buttons and phone so anyways i'm pretty cool for my age i
guess yeah um my yes go overheard yeah i got an overheard it's an overseen from one of my flights
my seat mate was uh was getting into the plane kind of late and uh he got all the way there but
all the bins were full were you so excited were you Were you like, oh, it hasn't showed up.
I hope he has.
I hope he's going to miss this flight.
Yeah, I was very excited that it wasn't going to fill up.
And you know who really likes being filled up?
That lady from the library.
Yeah.
Anyways, he was so.itated and he he like saw all the bins were closed and then he sat down
he didn't want to put his he couldn't put his bag under the seat in front of him so he just left it
in the aisle he said fine i'll let them figure it out and then like literally let's say 10 seconds later he picked it up and walked it over to a bin
in some tough talk but that's all his bark was worse than his bite um um and this is the kind
of person you you made room for him by putting your, by checking your bag. That's right. Yeah.
That's, yeah. Now that you say it like that, it pisses me off that I, shit.
I accidentally enabled this guy.
Anyways, we're friends and we keep in touch.
Now we also have overheards sent in by people all over the place.
If you want to send one in, you can send it to spy at maximumfund.org.
And this first one comes from Sheila.
Abby's aunt Sheila.
Hi, Sheila.
Abby's uncle, Magnus, said a sentence out loud to no one in particular that I've never thought ate over here, especially in my own home.
Ugh, we've already seen this episode of Rizzoli and Isles.
I've never seen it.
So I know my impression is that they're amateur detectives that go.
So I think they might be professionals.
Oh, OK.
But I don't know.
I don't know.
That was one that like I don't even think we had it in canada when it was people were making fun of it in america yeah it was what
they had it in sweden apparently yeah it's a angie harman joint is it an angie harman and
another lady another lady uh when you when you mentioned magn, you should have seen Luba Magnus' eyebrows go up.
That's mine!
You ever seen Rosalia and or Isles or them together as the titular show?
No.
No?
I don't know what it was.
Dave, is it them being professional detectives?
Are they lawyers?
Well, I am, yeah, it was on the same channel that had like suits and burn notice.
Yes.
And a bunch of these shows that were like, like.
Yeah, and was it a network like kick or something like that?
Like some weird.
It was kick.
We're a network. we're a soft drink Rizzoli and Isles
An American crime drama television series
Starring Angie Harmon as Jane
Rizzoli
Yup
And Sasha Alexander as Maura
Isles
Sasha Alexander That Mora. Isles.
Uh-huh.
Ooh, Sasha Alexander.
That's, uh, um, redundant.
I don't understand.
Sasha is Russian for Alexander.
I think, I think this is pretty, uh, well established.
Yeah.
That's true.
We didn't, we didn't talk about our mutual Russian history.
Um, now we also... Based on...
It's based on Rizzoli and Isles.
Oh, shit.
Okay.
It's a...
By Tess Gerritsen, an American novelist.
Oh, okay.
It was a novel.
Cool.
Now, we have another one here.
This one comes from Jessica from Vancouver.
My husband and I were walking on Main Street we saw a lost looking walking on main street with my foot and feel it
on and off of bill yeah that's wrong actually i would be good walking on main street walking
with my feet near ryan bill that's good that's good yeah um my husband and i were walking on main street and we saw a lost
looking woman on our phone at a street corner and we overheard her say wait do you mean church's
chicken or the other church like a religious church oh no
maybe a church
this is not a good either way it's not a good second date yeah
oh man also it would be several churches if it's yeah that's true she's church hopping
church shopping yeah there was a uh an area on fraser street a few years ago. There was a church's chicken across from, like, I think it was a corner that had three churches and one church's chicken.
Really?
Yeah.
Delicious.
But that church's chicken is now an enterprise rent-a-car.
Ah, shit.
I bet it still smells like chicken, though.
And those churches are now satanic burning areas. They's still churches, but not
in the sense that... No, they're community
centers.
Satanic community centers. Yeah.
This last one comes from
Jocelyn. I was walking my
dog past an elementary school during
recess and I happened to tune in to a few
kids chatting. Kid 1,
I'm only allowed G-rated movies
at my house, not even PG-13s.
Kid 2, I've seen an
R-rated movie. Kid 1, which
one? And the kid 2 said
collateral.
And kid
1 said, ooh.
That's
Jamie Foxx and Tom Cruise?
Yep, and I feel like Jamie Foxx is a cab driver in it
And Tom Cruise
Is a blonde man
Yeah he's some sort of assassin or something
A real result
I saw it in the movie theater and I don't really remember much about it
Do you have that
Ever happen where you watch a movie and then the next day
You're like what the hell movie was I watching
Or what the hell happened in that movie
If you had to choose for the rest movie was I watching? Or what the hell happened in that movie?
If you had to choose for the rest of your life,
you could only see Tom Cruise or Tom Hanks movies.
Whoa.
This is big.
Oh, Tom. Well, big is one of them.
Huh.
You're Tom Hanks?
Oh, yeah.
How come? No question. just because you like the movies more
uh yeah i'm not much of a you see one tom cruise you've seen them all i think yeah that's not true
he's got but yeah tom hanks yeah i'm leaning toward tom hanks but only if i can have a cocktail
from tom cruise's catalog as well.
Oh, you can maybe, well, you have to trade in Philadelphia.
I was going to say Turner and Hooch, but no way.
I'm keeping that one.
That's hilarious.
Yeah.
I'm Tom Hanks all the way.
Yeah.
Okay.
I honestly, like, there was a time when I thought, maybe I'll watch every Tom Hanks movie.
And?
I didn't.
But I watched a lot that I was like, huh, I don't really, there's a lot of movies where I was like, I don't know if I want to see this.
I love Tom Hanks, though.
Yeah.
So I saw like Sully and Captain Phillips and Bridge of, not Bridge of Spies, was that the one?
And The Post.
A lot of latter day ones.
Yeah.
I've seen Collateral.
Oh, no.
Not Collateral.
Captain Phillips more than once.
Yeah.
For some reason.
Maybe it was just on a channel or something.
Anyways.
Yeah, it was definitely on a channel.
Yeah.
I haven't seen it.
You haven't seen it? No't seen it no luba you
gotta you gotta find out who the captain is now yeah that's that one i'm the it's the i'm the
captain now movie it's not a joyful movie no but there's it's um it's dynamic it's uh it's easy to re-watch um okay does that make any sense like it's just
i don't know if it's dynamic i feel like it's all on a boat it's all pretty much just stagnant
interesting in addition to overhears that are written in we also accept your phone calls if
you want to call us our phone number is 1-844-779-7631. That's one.
Ugh.
Spy pod one, like these people have.
Hey, guys.
Just wanted to call in and overheard.
I was in the barber's chair and sat down.
And a little while later, an older man in another chair, I heard him say to the barber,
so it turns out my eyeball is shrinking.
And my doctor says that it might just fall out.
And that doesn't always happen,
but it could happen,
so I'm supposed to watch for that.
And the barber just goes,
uh-huh, okay, have a good one one but if that guy's eye falls out at school
they get a little eye container that is what yeah what the hell like i i've never heard of that
that's i mean i'm sure it's possible and i don't mean to make fun of a guy who might have that habit to him. But what?
Your eyeball's shrinking and it's going to fall out?
What a fun party trick.
Yeah.
Oh, that would be fun.
Yeah.
Yeah.
When everybody's trying to top one another, like with a weird arm or something.
Yeah.
Oh, they think it's going to fall out someday.
Oh, oh, what is it?
Now?
Yeah, he's really setting it up.
He's like, of course my eyeball's not shrinking it's never
gonna fall out but i like to keep people on their toes so i can do my big closer
or you know he if he gets in a fight with some like an argument he can just pop it out and be
like argument over my eye fell out so i gotta go take care of them. Yeah. Because they're still attached, right? Or is that, like, not true about eyeballs?
Oh, Jesus.
Sorry.
I mean, like, I know when a pretty lady walks by,
they kind of, they really, they pop out of my head.
Yeah.
And I have to stuff them back in.
But they're not shrinking.
They're growing.
Yeah, yeah.
That's it.
But yeah, the doctor says it might fall out.
Well, does it still work if it's
shrinking i guess it must be uh because when you just get it taken out or like at least wear a
patch yeah something to just keep it in that's right yeah just a band-aid across your eye
all right sorry about that here we go next phone call. Hello, Dave and Graham and guests. This is Andy
from Brooklyn calling in as an overheard.
I teach an introductory
arts class
at one of the local colleges
and
I had my students give final presentations on
what they thought the purpose of art was
and one student began his presentation
by saying, art
is for entertainment.
That's it.
That's the end of the road for art.
Okay.
That's how he started.
Yeah.
That is the end of the road.
This is also the timing of this with the whole AI thing. Yeah. It might be at the end of the road this is also the timing of this with the whole ai thing it's
yeah it might be at the end of the road for arty it's for entertainment that's it end of the road
from from uh michelangelo to tlc these are all just for entertainment
i mean there were a and e the channel used to be i i don't know if it still stands for arts and
entertainment and it i remember when we first got it in the early 90s it was like symphonies and
stuff it was yeah and it had uh uh biography was always on yeah what's the biography of uh
and what what is a and e now is it just like home repairs and wife swapping or
something yeah it's yeah exactly uh maybe it's where the housewives shows reside or no that
bravo i think that's bravo you say bravo or bravo oh bravo bravo i say it i say bravo. I say it really sarcastically.
Bravo.
Bravo, yes.
What's on Annie?
Let me just look up.
I know I'll get you out of here any second now,
but I really need top shows on Annie.
Okay.
What if it was still biography after all these years?
We've been missing out
boy i wanted to say they have no i'm thinking tvo never mind sorry what's tvo isn't tvo that's an ontario channel isn't it isn't that like oh gosh i had no idea things it's weird
stuff that you think is canada wide and it's not okay here's when i just uh you know how google will just like
give you the uh a brief like 10 things they hate about you uh google has just when i looked up top
a and e show most popular number one neighborhood wars number two customer wars number three Number one, Neighborhood Wars Number two, Customer Wars
Number three, you guessed it, Biography
Oh really? It's the Biography, cool
I bet you can find out about the life of Ashton Kutcher
They probably do one on him
Apparently there's also The First 48, Duck Dynasty, and Longmire
Oh, Leah Remini there's also the first 48 duck dynasty and longmire oh oh leah remini do you say leah
remini or leah ramini scientology in the aftermath oh yes old case files okay yeah that's what this
is yeah it's a lot of true crime here we go final bad boy hi d Hi, Dave, Graham, and Gus.
This is Jessalyn calling in with an overheard from Capitola, California.
I was at a bakery the other day and saw a man ask the woman behind the counter,
can I have that gingerbread cookie?
And the woman said, you mean that gingerbread man?
Anyways, off I go.
They're not, what did you call them before?
They're not ginger vigils over there.
Ginger vigils, yeah.
Yeah, but I mean, if it's shaped like
a human, then
you can't just say it's a cookie. That's insane.
Yeah, that gingerbread person,
that ginger, boy.
I wonder if it's related to
my gingivitis.
Yeah, well. Ginger vigils. Well, you ginger vigils,
you gotta,
you gotta make use of that four pack of Sensodyne somehow.
That's right.
Rub it on my gums.
Well,
yeah,
that's the end of this here episode.
Time to saddle up and headed into the West.
Uh,
Luva,
thank you so much for being our guest.
Thank you for having me.
This has been a delight.
Back at you. This is is great and where people can listen
to your album on all
the streaming services
it's called Baba Luba
Baba Luba
B-A-B-A space L-U-B-A
important to put the space there very important
it's a very funny album
I saw it's on very funny album i saw
it's on a few year end lists so yeah congratulations yeah that's right we're now into the new year and
people you know we want to get rid of all the last year's stuff that's right and we want to
reset that best of to one i bet you nobody in january makes the i think like they're like oh
yeah anything from september on this is where we'll pick this from.
Um,
but that's on Alison doors,
uh,
record label.
Yes,
it is howling roar.
Yeah.
Um,
I love Alison.
She's great.
Yeah.
She's fantastic.
Um,
and thank you folks out there for listening to the show.
If you see any cookies shaped like anything except a cookie,
make sure to ask before you order for it. And, uh cookies shaped like anything except a cookie, make sure to ask before you order for it.
Cookies shaped like anything except a cookie? Yeah, like an arrow
or a square looks like, you know, like a cookie's, I think
we can all agree. Round, right? Yeah, okay, sure. So any other shape
is a nomination. Sorry, pardon me.
But thank you, all you people you people for listening make sure to buy our brand
new nfts that we're selling in all of 2023 they're over there for sale in a weird vending machine
you'll never find and come on back next week next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself.