Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 779 - April Richardson

Episode Date: February 21, 2023

Comedian April Richardson joins us to talk British money, tulips, and new nachos.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 779 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark. With me as always is a man, well, it's debatable, but he's got the, I think, the most nimble fingers in the biz, Mr. Dave Shumka.

What? Why are you, what's that about? Oh, people are talking and they say I'm so nimble. Have you seen me like type or is this like every time you type it doesn't make any noise and you're very quick at it and would uh ask me to type something okay uh type in hippopotamus here we go oh god okay just a second okay do you guys want me to put the microphone to the keyboard? Yes, please. Yes, please. Yeah. It better be silent. I did the pot of this with exactly that many letters.

Yeah. That voice you hear is our guest for today. First time guest here on the podcast. Very funny comedian. Very happy to have her here. It's April Richardson, everybody. Hi, sorry. Did I talk?

I talked. No. During the typing bit. Sorry. We usually do like 10 minutes of typing up top. Did you ever see the Jerry Lewis typing routine where he would like mime doing a typewriter? Does this ring a bell for anybody like live on stage or in a movie live on stage yeah oh he would he would do like a thing

where he's typing and then it was like to music and it graham's a graham what used to go see jerry lewis he was like a dead head for jerry i would travel around the country did he ever change up the typewriter bit or was it the same at every show? No, he was actually, he was sort of like the Grateful Dead as well. He would jam it out. Add some typing riffs. Whoa. He did a 14 minute typewriter bit. Um, what?

Uh, yeah. Uh, do you guys ever take, have to take typing in school? Yeah. At our high school it was called keyboarding. Cool. Yeah, which was like there are no keyboards involved. But yeah, we had to. It was one of our electives.

It was probably like my senior year, you had to take it. I never had to take it. It was completely, you had to pick that class. And I was like, why would I pick that class? I'm not going to be no secretary. Why would I pick that? Yeah. Totally. But I wonder, like my kids are in elementary school but i wonder if they offer it for high school now or if everyone just is expected to already know it i bet it's the opposite now where you have to take like a handwriting class where it's like none of you

know how to write by hand um that's interesting. Yeah. Because it's, well, there was a woman at the coffee shop I go to, and they'll write your name on, like, whatever you're getting. Yeah. So I told her my name. And her writing was so perfect. Like, it looked like it was out of, like, a cartoon or something. It was, like, this perfect, perfect writing. And I said, oh, wow, your writing's really good. And she's like, yeah, I went to Montessori school and they taught me cursive. Then I went to regular school

and they taught me printing. So I'm kind of locked in between these two worlds. See, that's so interesting because I didn't even think my friends got kids that are teenagers and was saying how they don't even teach cursive anymore. Oh, yeah. I wouldn't be surprised. Like, where would you use it? I guess you don't even need to sign things anymore not really like remember you had to put your name on the back of your credit card yes signature it's like now you don't even need to know how to do that no did you how uh like when you learned this was a possibility how many like signatures did you experiment with oh yeah oh like a million

yeah of course i'm but i have like super good handwriting that's like one of my things nice so like why do you why do you have such good handwriting i like hand i like writing and also when i was growing up i did z i used to do like in college i had a side hustle of like doing calligraphy for like people's wedding invitations and stuff so it was just like a thing i like to do like i made myself have really good handwriting on purpose just because it was like a flex i like to have uh but i mean although now i don't know if it's like as good now because obviously none of us write as much as we did but yeah that was that was like but look that's like my one thing like i got terrible grades like i i'm the worst underachiever of all time but i'd be like

yeah i got an f on the test but look how good it looks how good those wrong answers look like yeah uh guys should we get to know us oh yeah get to know us now april yes i you posted a thing today saying it today is the 10 year anniversary yes of your podcast go bayside uh truly a uh pioneer in the watching a tv show and then recapping it pot it was the first one it was literally the first one it must have been yeah yeah because i and i only i didn't even realize that at the time but like a couple of months after i started somebody like it was decider or something like wrote an article that was like is this the new thing in podcasting right because it was i started it and then right afterward only a couple of weeks after i did i think or a couple months kumail did his x files one and so it became like oh is this

a thing people are going to do now like watch t i think it was also kind of snarky i think it was sort of like oh so now this is exactly like this counts we're gonna just start watching tv shows again now and it's sort of like well yeah i guess we are um like do you have any better idea of something to do internet so yeah it was kind of which it was a total accident like when i thought it even seems weird to be like when i thought of the idea of watching tv like you know what but i'm just saying when i was like hey what if i did this as a podcast and i was doing research obviously in google because i was like there's no way this doesn't exist because i'm like yeah that's just the whole idea it's like how does it not exist and crazily it didn't so

yeah i mean i immediately jumped on it was like oh shit i better get in there yeah um yeah because like that's all that's all of them now there's isn't that wild yeah and like you you had the kind of the forethought of like i'll do a series that has wrapped up so every episode will be an episode well and also it was just completely organic like i am not it would please believe it was not because of any sort of forethought i wasn't like i've really thought this through it was just because i genuinely watched say by the bell all of the time like by myself so it was like you know i'm already clowning on this dumb show on my own like alone on my couch so like why not trick people into coming over and doing it with me yeah i i'm i'm embarrassed by how much uh i've spent time watching saved by the bell

it's oh my god like if you added it's probably like years literal years of my life i've spent watching this show like i could have learned french or something like that exactly exactly i could have written like 10 novels yeah yeah 10 years ago it's crazy yeah and it's still i i say by the bell is still on here on weekends on me tv which is a weird they blow it up to high definition it looks terrible and then all the commercials are for like you know some prostate medication yeah it's all just like they know their audience yeah exactly isn't that weird because isn't that like the idea then it's like us watching you know little rascals or something yeah like it's so far removed it's like if we were the age of our parents like you know what

i'm saying it's like watching some kind of super old black and white show they did show old moldy black and white shows when i was a kid because there was like we would like leave it to beaver was still on for sure yeah are you on nick at night i would watch like you know doby gillis and shit on nick at night really the menu was holy shit what else did they have they had um like the patty duke show i watched that on nick at night we didn't have nick at night in canada oh we just had weird stations that would have we just had weird stations that needed to fill time yeah because i remember there being like when i was a kid i regularly watched gilligan's island and there's

no sure reason why i should have had access to it but i was on several channels all the time so yeah right right yeah you guys gilligan's island oh yeah no i'm trying to think i never i mean i've seen it a couple times but it wasn't a thing i i got into like as far as the old timey shows i was legitimately into weirdly i was legitimately into the beverly hillbillies oh yeah that's a good one that was another thing on nick and night that i was like kind of like this um i was super into the monkeys they played that yeah like to where i was way too old until i found out that the monkeys weren't like a real band you know what i mean like i thought it was like oh they're filled they were a band before this happened and then you know what i mean yeah i was way old when

i was like oh wait that wasn't real but now that's all it is that like at the time it was scandalous that oh you would have a band that's manufactured by a right oh totally yeah yeah you would blink um also i was weirdly as a child like a child like six or seven years old obsessed with like hollywood squares yes okay but it's a thing you look back and go there's no way i got any of these jokes like this is all adult contemporary shit like how did i why was i watching jinjay bullying i was just really into the tic-tac-toe element of it yeah that's true i think in the 80s like because it was several different versions over the years the one in the 80s alf would uh make an appearance yeah that's true i was a huge alf stan so maybe that's what

was like getting me there yeah like joan rivers would be on it she'd be center square that was it would be goldberg was center square for a while yeah that's how she got her emmy for uh they got all the e got she got the e for her e got is on is for hollywood squares no it's for i feel like it's maybe for the view though no i think it might be a daytime Emmy. No, not for, like, wouldn't it be for one of her specials or something? Like, her, remember she had specials in, like. Okay, I'm pulling up the EGOT list, guys. You're making me do it.

Wait, is she for real in EGOT? She is, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Which is, because she won an Oscar for, I think, the color purple? Not Ghost. No, I think it was Ghost. Oh, that's right.

It was Ghost. Yeah, you guys are right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Swayze completely shut out that year. Yeah, that's rough. Wait, what's her Tony for? I think that maybe is. What has she done on Broadway?

That was her one person show, I think. Oh, okay. No, wait. No, her Tony was. What the heck? Okay Here we go Her first award was a Grammy For Best Comedy Album Yeah, no brainer, of course, of course she was

She won, she then won In 1990 Best Supporting Actress Oscar For Ghost Well deserved, yeah, well deserved, absolutely I haven't seen it You've never seen Ghost? It was a Best Picture nominee Supporting actress, Oscar for Ghost. Sure. Well-deserved. Well-deserved, absolutely. I haven't seen it. You've never seen Ghost?

It was a Best Picture nominee. You never saw Ghost. Ghost is so good. Five nominees. It's actually legitimately super good. I should go see it, because I'm kind of a grump about modern movies. Well, actually, maybe you wouldn't. It's like a horny lady movie, though. Like, I, you know, it's like Patrick Swayze rubbing on. Yeah, okay. I'm a horny lady. Are you a horny lady? Yeah. Are you a horny lady movie though like i you know it's like patrick swayze rubbing on yeah okay

i'm a horny lady yeah are you horny lady are you a horny housewife yeah it's a little bit so upset i didn't get a big box of chocolates on valentine's um like these are i need bonbons I need bond bonds. Yeah, bond bonds. They're going to be my bond bond. 97, she won a special Emmy Award, the Governor's Award for the comic relief specials. Yes, that's right. But I don't think that counts. That kind of, yeah, that doesn't count. Then she won a Tony in 2002 for Thoroughly Modern Millie winning Best Musical. Okay. So she was in a legitimate musical.

Or maybe she just produced it? But isn't it... Have you ever heard her sing? How many... I've never heard her sing. No, me neither. How many tabs do I need to open to get? But I wouldn't be shocked if she's got that in her quiver

because she seems very multi-talented to me. But I wouldn't be shocked if she's got that in her quiver because she seems like she's very multi-talented to me. Sure. So you think she's like got pipes for real and is a good singer? Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised. She could belt it to the rafters. Also in 2002, she won a Daytime Emmy

for Outstanding Special Class Special, Beyond Terra, The Extraordinary Life of Hattie McDaniel That's pretty good Hold up Special Class Special It says Special Class Special

That sounds like something you show in like a class like today class the substitute teacher is going to show you a special class special We're going to watch Whoopi Goldberg. It's an Emmy award given to a single original program. Fiction,

non-fiction, music, and variety events are all eligible. Oh, so like a one-off thing, like Oscars or something. And it's a daytime Emmy. It's a daytime Emmy. That sounds like an after-school special. So is it like an E got with a little E? Lowercase E.

But then in 2009 she also won the daytime Emmy for Outstanding Talk Show Host. Nice. She's really, she's been with us in the spotlight on television since I was a kid. With us.

Yeah. She's right. Is there anything? She's been a part of our family for as long as I can remember. Part of the fabric of our lives. Yes. Because, yeah, I can't imagine a time when Whoopi Goldberg wasn't on television. You know, I can't imagine

my life without her. Yeah, that's a good way of putting it. But like you look up on this Wikipedia page, you look up all the other people and it's they've got like, you know, John Legend has one Oscar, one Emmy and like 50 Grammys. Yeah. Like, I think the Whoopi did the smart way of just getting one of each. She's not greedy.

You know, you know, what's funny is that's another thing where i swear i didn't know i thought 30 rock made up egot and so i looked it up and then was like oh this has been a thing the whole time tracy jordan didn't just make this up i also in my head got egot and goat confused in my head so i was like gram, Grammy, Oscar. I was like, what is A&T? I guess Tony. And then I got an Oscar and an Academy Award. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah.

The Oscar is the Oscar by a wiener award. For the hot dog eating contest. Yeah, hot dog eating contest. The fastest wiener mobile driver. He should air that opposite the Oscars like they do with the puppy bowl. eating contest yeah hot dog eating contest fastest the fastest wienermobile driver he should air that opposite the oscars like they do with the puppy bowl wienermobile driver why is it funnier to think of it driving fast than driving normal speed

that like you're standing there and you're like is that a hot dog that just sped by us like why is that fat funnier than if this is driving normally yeah i'd love to see the a hot dog that just sped by us? Why is that fat funnier than if it's just driving normally? Yeah. I'd love to see the hot dog all geared up with giant exhaust pipes. Yeah, I'll try that. I'm curious. I hope it's my hearse. I want it to be my hearse.

I saw a news story that someone had stolen the catalytic converter from one of these Wienermobiles. Really? What? Yeah. I don't know enough about cars to know what does that do. I don't know either, but I know that it's a thing I see on the news here all the time is people stealing catalytic converters off of cars because it's worth a few hundred dollars and you can steal it in two minutes. Yeah, you just have to know where it is and you can just unscrew it. And your car can't run without it.

No. Yeah. What if, but honestly think of that being a hearse, like that's my hearse. And then everyone's got a somberly follow behind it. Everybody dressed like a hot dog as well. But in black,

I was like, I think it would be better as like a wedding. Oh yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, with the cans dragging behind. Well, no, with a bunch of hot dogs dragging behind it. Just like totally getting dragged along the ground and like chunks falling around. Have you ever watched a TV show called like Four Weddings where where it's, uh, it's the, Oh yes.

And the women have to judge. Yes. Is that the one where they judge whose wedding is best? And then the winner like gets their wedding paid for. Yeah, exactly. And there's always one in the pack that has a themed wedding. Like,

Oh yeah. We really like legend of Zelda. So we've got, we're dressing up as a link and we've got a cake. But that is so catty. There's also a show here in England. Also, I assume that as

constituents of the Crown... Thank you very much. Subjects? Subjects, yeah. Okay, do you guys think that's as weird as I do, or is it a thing because you grew up with it, you're just like, this is how it is? You mean being a part of the weird monarchy thing?

Yeah, because when I first moved here, so I've lived here in England now for four years, right? And when I first moved, Boris Johnsonson was the prime minister and i remember on the news and like i guess sorry uk i'm about to offend all of you here it goes but there was a thing on the news where they there was a huge scandal because he had lied to the queen about something like he whatever governmental thing he was like he lied and like the newscasters were like oh my god this guy fucking lied to the queen it was like freaking out and i'm like hold on are you guys being serious like there's a part of me watching it going is this a fake newscast from a movie like who who cares like it was the weirdest how they were so scandalized like oh my god he lied

to the queen everybody and i just was like how are you guys really mad about that like yeah it's when they talk about her and the monarchy like real serious like government terms I'm just like how is this real yeah uh boy our relationship with the queen let's just

say it's complicated also she's dead she's dead but we still love her and then now they go i was so fascinated by the changeover because of course now they're like okay well now we have to change the stamps and we have to change the money and i'm like what and i go who decides like is charles gonna have a photo shoot for the money you have a photo shoot for the money? You have a photo shoot? Are you like, what's up? I got to pose for the new stamp.

Yeah. I'm like, you pose and you like pick out which one you like best to be the stamp. I like the idea of him doing the over the shoulder. Yeah. He's got to go sideways for the coin. Yes. Yes. But then he's like, here's this is for the five pound note.

Here's for the 10 pound. Here's for the 20. Like like how do you decide what goes on they haven't have they haven't updated them yet well we got it i don't know i haven't seen i mean like i haven't seen the new cash but we got a thing like the postal service was like hey by the end of this month or something like the queen stamps aren't going to work anymore they're like you got to use all the queens because like we got to get the kings the new the new issue is coming in that's insane and there'll be a big vote he had to vote on young charles or little charles do you want 50s charles or do you want 70s charles yeah um because here we have the queen on our 20 bill and she's on our coins

and she's on all our coins she used to be on the two dollar bill but we don't have that anymore okay um we don't so the the so is he going to be on those now i guess i think this should be a chance to do a clean break like i've always thought it was silly that she was on our money so like now she's gone we can just pretend that this is not because i don't want to see money with this this dude's face on it yeah exactly when we could have like michael buble absolutely you're shooing yeah um we have um so the the king charles is our head of state here but he doesn't uh do anything he's it's very ceremonial and he's not even so there's someone who acts instead of him he has appointed a governor general yes uh who is the sort of like the representative of the crown in canada but their job is mostly to

like once a year they talk to the prime minister and say yeah how do you like being prime minister keep it up or hold up hold up hold up okay so just some dude like he's not elected like king charles handpicks some dude no no no the governor general i don't think it's yeah the governor general is appointed by the crown but i i think on the advisement of i look i took a canadian constitution class in college and it's complicated oh yeah sorry no again i know sorry i'm not trying to be like some weird nerd just like tell me all your government rules because like i don't know i've lived here four years and i'm like yeah i don't really know how it goes you will answer all your government

questions i'm here for you graham could you tell me the name of our governor general uh oh god i just love the idea of king charles being like plucking just just like hey you jeff you're my guy over there okay and like but it's a canadian though yeah it has to be canadian that's that's our one victory and i like that it has to be that he's almost it's like a game of like you know your prime minister goes to him and is like hey jeff go clear this with chuck real fast and he like has to go ask him hey is it cool oh yeah it is okay as if like i just like him being the intermediary as if you can't just call king charles and talk directly you've got to go through this guy like that's a fascinating idea to me yeah so our current governor general is mary simon mary simon uh can you name any past ones other than Adrian Clarkson?

I was going to say Adrian Clarkson. So that person's job really is just to be the representative in Canada for the royal family. Yeah. It's a very, like, you go around, I think, to libraries and, you know, road openings and such. You hand out, there's like an award sir i want this job that sounds like the world's easiest job i think it is yeah it's uh you get to wear like cool like flowing robes do you live in a in a like mansion do you live in like the governor's mansion there's like a governor general's house yeah it's funny because this is the greatest scam i've ever heard in my life it is and you you yeah your job is to be like we gotta

keep the king on the money yeah yes that's all you have to do also uh no charles isn't cool with that yeah charles is actually if you don't if you take him off the money, you don't get any more money. Yeah, exactly. No more dimes then. Do you guys remember, can you cast back your mind to a time when you need to have a combination of stamps in order to mail before it was just like standard stamps?

I was a zine kid, dude. All I did was mail when I was in high school. All I, and I used to glue the stamps so you could reuse them. Like I was a big time scammer. Yeah. Yeah. If you put a layer of like clear glue on the stamp and let it dry,

then when the other person got it, they could wipe off the postmark and reuse the stamp. Cool. Yeah. I love that. Yeah. Any other mail fraud tips I could give on a permanent record? I'm an international fugitive now.

No, yeah. I was all of, like, that's all I spent my money on was, like, mailing people things. So I had to figure out, like, every possible way to save money. Yeah. But, yeah, isn't that funny here that like what a waste of like the idea that because a different person's face is on it like you can't use them anymore and like in a way that that's supposedly disrespect or something where it's like are you guys serious like what are you talking about yeah well this is maybe the beginning of

this is hinting that he's going to be a very cruel king well that's the thing is that i also again that's why i'm like i don't know who i'm offending because i had a very naive view when i got here thinking well yeah old people are probably into this but if you're like my age or younger you probably don't give a shit and that was my dumb assumption until i made the mistake of you know in mixed like other people my age i like made some joke about the queen and a couple people were like oh excuse me like how dare you you know what i mean but you're my age like you care about this and they were really stoked like yeah this is our shit like shut up dumb american and we're glad she killed princess diana yeah we support her yeah on her yeah her jubilee is that what's called her jubilee when she's

50 years on the crown or something like that when michael buble's in charge is gonna be a buble damn right you damn right yeah royal buble but they had a segment where she talks to paddington bear they like filmed the thing where she's talking to Paddington Bear. Yes! And then they dance off. Paddington goes, thank you for everything. I was like, what did the queen do? Thank you.

Thank you. That is my central question. Thank you for what did you do? You waved a lot. Thank you for waving at us all of the time you know what do the people who you talk to who are british why do they kind of tell you why the queen is such an important thing or is it just like well they're kind of just like tradition i mean i get it i'm a foreigner like i didn't grow up here so you know i i guess i can

understand that if it's just something that you grew up with you know i look i am the least patriotic person on planet earth but there are still a few like if a british person said something about america i'm sure there's a thing i'd go all right calm down a little bit you know what i mean like it's like your family kind of like i can make fun of it and you can't yeah so i'm sure there's a thing i'd go all right calm down a little bit you know what i mean like it's like your family kind of like i can make fun of it and you can't yeah so i'm sure there's an element why do you guys still like stone cold steve austin over there i'm like hey pump the brakes she's done more for our country than your queen ever did i mean i get really like that with food like when british people try to talk shit about American food, I'm like, sorry, your national food is like boiled potatoes.

Like, don't come for me. Like, I'm not going to hear that. So I can get weird about things too. And it'll surprise me because again, I'll be like, I don't care at all.

I've never been patriotic. And then, yeah, there'll just be one little thing where I'm like, Oh, hold up a bit. So I think there's a little element of that. And I think that there are people that, you know, my friend, a lot of my friend's parents

here are just very, they have such like reverence for the queen and the institution and whatever. So I'm like, all right, I get it. I mean, if you grew up with that and, you know, that's always been in the background and it's always just been this symbol of like i don't know honor or whatever then okay fine but yeah it's like when you get to the brass tacks when they kept saying the thing of like thank you so much for all you've done it's just sort of like what that's what i'm not clear on what exactly is she doing she just didn't die yeah thank you for all those years of not dying yeah exactly we were i don't know if my i just remember in the early 80s, everyone was swept up in Diana fever.

Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. But I don't know, like my parents wrote down like funny things we said when we were kids. That's fun. At one point, I guess in 1982, I said, E.T. phone lady die. What? What?

What? That was classic. That's etched in our memories forever. And I remember my parents. That's as good as any 80s comedian. Yeah. That's a mic drop. That's a closer.

You just say that and you're gone. Standing ovation. Yeah. My family stayed up to watch the prince charles and princess diana wedding oh yeah sure but i would have been one in a bit uh but it was um and we had like a mug with their faces on oh yeah but i don't know did your family graham have royal lust no they like our lineage is from ireland and and northern ireland so it doesn't it doesn't mean the same thing i guess in those regions as it does in like england in particular but oh yeah oh there's like footage of people in ireland like partying when she died yeah so it was like we had

we had tea towels from that part of the you know the uk but no like maybe we had one as a joke or something like uh right you know yeah we had also the spitting image puppets from the uh phil collins video yes totally i could, like, anytime anybody says Ronald Reagan's name, I only think of the spitting image puppet. Like, that's the only, I don't ever think of,

like, the actual human being. I'm just like, oh, yeah, the guy from the Genesis video. The guy who hit the wrong button in the Genesis video. Yeah, seriously. He was all sweaty.

That's all I think about. There's a documentary about Ronald Reagan that I watched, and it was all just, like, found footage and behind-the-scenes stuff stuff and there's one scene where he's recording an endorsement of somebody called i think steve sununu and sununu and he keeps saying that he's his close personal friend but he can't he can't say sununu he cannot get it out and he keeps asking how is it pronounced again yeah how do you pronounce

my best friend's name again yeah joe isuzu wait was that the hbo documentary or was there was one i watched that like it was like a four-part documentary about no this this was just about his like media presence and like he was the first president it's called the the reagan show is the name okay yeah and it's really really good but it's called the Reagan show is the name of it and it's really really good but it's like it's just documenting it like this guy would bring a camera crew with him on holiday they would take a picture like everything was very

manicured and Hollywood yes totally yeah I'll watch that because they had I mean in the one I think it's HBO I can't remember but obviously there was a lot of that and there was a lot of showing, like visibly showing Nancy like feeding

him answers to questions. Like he'd be at a press conference and she would tug on his hand and be like, out of the side of her mouth you can see like, say this. Say I run contact. He's like, yes. Exactly. It was wild. It was like oh, she's just totally telling him the answers to this stuff yeah oh

yeah yeah and he like it was just funny they do pictures of him like riding a horse and dressed as a cowboy and all these like things that you would think like people aren't dumb enough to fall for that yes but that's why they voted for him because he had played a cowboy but that's the thing is that watching back the documentary i was like because you know i was a kid for that whole thing and i already think when i was working at a record store i once made the joke i was like one of the little genre cards needs to just be called just fuck you reagan that's like a whole genre of punk rock from the 80s fuck you ronald reagan yes you'll find it over in the fuck you ronald reagan section but then after watching that documentary i was just like oh my god he was like so much worse than i even remember you know what i mean oh yeah it

was grim yeah yeah and he he he had like some russian phrase where it meant like trust but uh verify was in russian and they showed how many times he said it and he just said it like 50 times all in different interviews and then gorbachev met him and he said it and he just said it like 50 times all in different interviews and then gorbachev met him and he said it in front of that of him and he said you say that in every interview he really said that yeah yeah just that's amazing yeah oh man speaking of documentaries did you guys watch are you guys into adam curtis i'm not sure. He's a documentary maker? What has he made? Well, he's a British guy, so they show all of his stuff on BBC,

but he makes these super long and intense... I mean, they're like borderline conspiratorial. I like him, but I know a lot of people who are like, I don't like him, but he just made one. It's like a seven or eight part documentary all about Russia. His things are really exhaustive. this dude must live in the archives because it's just this thing where you're watching is good is you're going whoever got this footage because it'll just be like you know a film of a russian soldier in like 1983 like walking down the street where you're like

who even thought to videotape this in the first place? And how did this guy find it? And so, yeah, if you guys, you should, it's called, it's called trauma zone. You should look it up just because I'm a dummy. Like,

I don't really know, you know, I don't know the history of Russia or how like the fall of communism went. And I'm like, oh yeah, Gorbachev had a thing on his head. I remember that also from a music video. Like,

I just piece that kind of stuff together. music video like exactly he scrubs it off yeah but like watching this really blew my mind and it's like really in depth like it goes into like the fall of communism the rise of like boris yeltsin and like the coup and like it's crazy and it's just that thing you're watching going like yeah no one ever like tells us this and again the footage is astounding because it is that thing of you know it'll just be in like some person's house in siberia in like 1985 and you're again you're going who even thought to bring a video camera to this place yeah um but it's really amazing and it just really details kind of like how you got to putin i guess, right? Right. None of this is really funny. It's really funny.

It's cool. We love Putin here. He's on our stamps. We've got Putin on our stamps. Yeah, just for this show. But the crazy thing is they show the footage. Obviously, we're, you know, Putin sucks. I don't think it's controversial

to say. I'm going to go on a limb and say he dresses like a cowboy. He goes on horseback. He does go on horseback with his shirt on. But when they show, like, because he was just placed there by the oligarchs, they were just like, hey, yeah, get this dude and he'll be our guy. I thought you were going to say the Olive Garden. Oh, my God.

When Putin's there, he's family. Yeah. Yeah, the oligarchs were like, yeah, just get this guy and he'll be our puppet. And like, that's the crazy thing is in the beginning, he's like this complete nerd. Like he's such a nerd, like paper pusher guy that you're like, sorry, this is the guy who became a crazy dictator because he just looks like a dude that anyone could beat up in like five seconds. Yeah, it's super interesting. Yeah, it's I just remember was yeltsin the one that everybody said was would get drunk and hang out he would have like the nuclear codes or something this

documentary is so much but he's just fully hammered constantly in like parliament meetings and press conferences he's like falling down he's just he's like cartoon like three stooges drunk while he's like addressing russia the oligarchs were like we gotta get a straight edge president a straight edge yeah totally he's so into earth crisis he was their guy that's but yeah and then he just became like this insane maniac, of course that we know now, but at the time he was like this meek nerd and he was just like, okay,

I'll be your president, I guess. Yeah. It's crazy. It was interesting. Yeah. It's, um,

I think everybody, every country has had somebody like that where you're like, how did, what the hell, how did we get this guy as the head of our country or, or the head of our city or whatever? Blame the olive garden. It's always the olive garden is, this is what I of our city or whatever blame the olive garden it's always the olive garden is this is what i wanted to i'm glad you're bringing it up the illuminati

is the olive garden and it's about time somebody this is why i only go to the macaroni grill yeah because well they also they give you crayons to write on nice yeah yeah the waiter comes by writes his name with a crayon yeah um is uh it's uh in england do they do valentine's day oh yeah do they yeah they yeah they do the thing they don't really do here is halloween but that's becoming more of a thing oh well i mean you got president's day coming up but they don't do that yeah oh they should um but no we get an extra holiday because of king charles because he's getting when he gets um i mean that's like another thing too they talked seriously on the news about his coronation where i'm like what century is this but then we get an extra holiday but they the main thing is yeah halloween apparently has only in the past like 10 or so years been a thing and they like

fully blame america they're like thanks a lot america um they hate it or they're like not into it like i have some friends here who have kids and they're like why do i gotta buy candy for everybody now like why is this a thing like yeah that's and it's like what the hell britain you're now you're against candy all of a sudden i know it's like oh sorry free candy because you guys's teeth are so great to begin with like what eat the free candy in uh where you grew up where was halloween um was were fireworks part of halloween no actually i mean i'm sure some kids it wasn't like a thing right because it's a huge thing in vancouver yeah like for halloween yeah and has it always been that way it has always been that way and they they like in recent years people have kind of examined it and being like why do

we do this no one else does this so halloween has like there's like big firework shows there's well or uh people will go to the stores and you know every like couple every neighborhood will do their own like are fireworks completely legal in canada no they uh it depends on where you are because they're like complete there's in winnipeg there's a full- fireworks store. So buy them whenever you want. Well, that's how I grew up in Atlanta, Georgia, right? And fireworks were illegal in the state of Georgia, but not in Alabama. So on the 4th of

July and stuff, we would just drive. It's like two hours to the border of Alabama. And there was a huge fireworks store. So we would just drive, get them and come back. It was that thing of like, you know, every other state around us, they were illegal. So you just drive to where they're illegal it's so dumb that that's the way it is yeah here yeah and it's uh they they think we like people who looked into the history of it were like well vancouver has a big chinese population and they do fireworks right their stuff sure and it was founded by english people and it's halloween

is close enough to the 5th of november right we think there's some overlap there well the i get like okay the 5th of november thing blows my mind i've been to a few celebrations here where it's like the most insane. Like, how is this legal? Because it's so crazy. And so people just walk around with like barrels of fire, like hobos and like 80s music. But we're like, this is not a thing you could do in America at all. And what is isn't it celebrating a guy who tried to like blow up the castle? Parliament. Yeah. Parliament. yeah parliament why is

why is he such a hero i don't know enough about the history to know that but i do know okay i've separate thoughts on this first of all i gotta say the halloween fireworks to me is so weird because halloween is supposed to be like goth and scary not like check out the fireworks i love bright lights like it's supposed to be all like doom and gloom and like everyone's wearing black and everything so that's an interesting twist to me but the the november 5th thing so i live in brighton this is all stuff that like locals had to tell me so my friends here the city next to me is a city called lewis l-e-w-e-s and it's like apparently one of the oldest cities in england and they have the most world famous insane febru uh november 5th guy fox thing ever right like my friends two years ago is when i started going my friends were like come

with us to lewis you're not even gonna believe this and i was just like sure i've seen fireworks before calm down but i got there and it was the most insane thing. I mean, genuinely where you're going, everything is on fire around me. I don't like I had to wear sunglasses. They want you to wear sunglasses because it might like singe your eyebrows off because there's just a parade of people carrying torches. And like I said, barrels are on fire. Everything's just on fire. And then they also throw fireworks up in the air. There's just on fire and then they also throw fireworks

up in the air of course there's just raining fire down on you oh man that seems that's not ungod look up lewis bonfire night honest to god it's like the craziest thing i've ever witnessed and also because they also have those um you know the fireworks that are just snap the ones that just are you looking it up yeah in the first picture it's literally crosses burning okay that's the other thing because it has something to do with catholics and protestants but i'm from georgia so i see a burning cross and i'm like sorry are there clansmen here like what is happening but they had to explain to me that it has to do with something with like catholics and protestants um yeah there's some

dicey stuff there but as far as it's the craziest fireworks display i've ever seen in my life yeah and also it's so many um of those snap bang like again as an american it just sounds like gunshots so i was like constantly ducking and they're like no it's just the fireworks it just was a whole the whole thing i'm like none of this would be legal in America. None of it. But the gunshots would. Yeah. They would encourage more gunshots.

But the fire is dangerous. Yeah. It's super intense. Yeah. Ever since Frankenstein was elected president, the Americans have been like, fire bad. Yeah, fire bad. It's like the Obama hope thing with the Shepard Fairey, fire bad his slogan it's like the Obama hope thing with the shepherd fairy

fire bad Dave what's going on with you man well not much very very little I hear that I hear that

it's yesterday was Valentine's Day so I it was love is in the air i guess love is in the air but mostly you're making tiny little cards for your kids to bring to school yes they don't do the envelopes anymore you just what's that when for valentine's they used to put them in a little envelope and then like because now they just hold protocol now? What do your kids do at school for Valentine's Day? Well, there's a big kissing contest.

Oh, nice. Yeah. Frenching. The best Frencher wins. There is a... No, you buy whatever. Pre-packaged. You can make your own. Sure.

But it is still like give one to everybody in the class who gets their feelings hurt the parents send home a list of all the kids in the class or the teacher sent home a list of all the kids in the class uh and it's either bring none or bring enough for everyone and bring a lot of yeah exactly my vote to bring and a lot of them come with like, you know, you buy a box of them, of Valentines. You fill in the names. It's good for the kids to like practice their writing. Oh yeah. And then.

Practice those signatures. Yeah, exactly. And then you can attach like the, the ones we got, they all had, like, a temporary tattoo attached to them. So, you had, you know. Edgy. Yeah, give your kid a, you know, you got a baby Yoda tattoo with your Valentine. That's pretty good. That's pretty good.

And then we also gave everyone a Kit Kat as well. Oh, shit. Oh, that's baller. You guys are, like, the cool parents then. No, there were a lot. Candy, a lot of kids and give give you now a little bag of candy with you a bag of candy just like a little it's like two little hershey kisses or i love it the only candy when i was a kid was cinnamon hearts that was the only like or the love

hearts oh yeah the chalky love hearts yeah i'm gonna bring this back around to halloween and say that one of my fondest memories that stands out to this day is that Dusty Rhodes, the American Dream, lived in my friend Jeremy's neighborhood when I was growing up. And for Halloween, he gave out full-size candy bars. Yes, of course. Full-size, dude. Dusty Rhodes, he's one of the people. He's a wrestler. For people not involved, he's a wrestler.

And he's also the father of Gold Dust? Yeah. Goldust and his other son. Yeah. Silver Dust? No. Also in the Goldust world. Yeah, he's something like that. Both of his sons are wrestlers.

Yeah. He gave out full giant Snickers and stuff. As a kid, you're like, oh my god, this is the greatest day of my life. Yeah, rich is this guy and he could just exactly yeah exactly yeah you have no and like now costco exists you know so you could just buy all that stuff for nothing but do it in bulk but back in those days he would have had to like where would you even buy a box of candy you'd have to go to a convenience store like you have to go like the back room of the grocery store and be like can i just go ahead

and take some of your inventory i'm dusty road sure mr rose whatever you want mr rose just don't cause any trouble here mr rose just don't suplex me yeah it's on the top shelf uh don't do a big body slam off the top shelf yeah exactly um the other thing that's going on with me oh guys the tulips are coming out through the ground oh boy here he comes mr green are you a gardener starting to get more and more i'm a gardener yeah nice this only had like this only like, would you say a year ago? No, I'd say early pandemic. Okay.

Okay. Um, became a hobby. Yeah. And then, uh, I was, uh,

last week I had to go down to America, pick up some packages. Uh, this is my culture. It was picking up some fireworks and bringing them illegally into the country wait is that what is that true um it's yeah some people do this this is the thing i've are you a drug mule no let's talk about it no it's shipping to canada costs a lot more um and not everyone participates in your gluing stamp. Oh, no, I totally.

I have stuff shipped to my mom all the time. And then my mom, but my mom, my mean mom, has started to be like, I'm not going to send you any more stuff to England. I asked her to send me ranch packets. I was like, send me ranch seasoning. Nobody has ranch here. She did it once. And then she's like, that's too expensive. I'm not doing it anymore i'm like thank you mother wow like i'll send you a recipe to make your own right yeah your own ranch powder oh and like whoever came up with that name must really

like this is going to be able to americans if we call it ranch yeah i think in my wife grew up in switzerland and i think in the grocery stores they're like cool ranch doritos were just called american doritos yeah yeah yeah or they're called um what are they called here they're called cool cool cool original or something okay it's like i don't what because and and they uh i think their barbecue chips were just called paprika chips oh yeah yeah it is just like weird little differences sorry i totally interrupted you but the shipping thing is real and i feel your pain and my mom is yeah it's so like uh we live 45 minutes from the border right so we rent a post office box on the other side in northern washington sure and uh so i was going to pick

up some things that didn't arrive in time for christmas a stuffed chicken nugget that my daughter really wanted that's so awesome and convenient though i wish i could just like drive to that's great to where you get you gotta figure it out man good job yeah and but on the way back i was like oh my favorite uh plant nurseries on the way back so i stopped there and uh checked it out no it's still too early there's nothing there um sorry what's the town that's right on the border that you go to it's called blaine blaine okay and then do you have to show your passport and all that kind of stuff like each time you go get the mail i have to show my passport and a little bit of cleavage but i mean is there a line like is there a full-on like you gotta wait in the line and the checkpoint everything just to get your mail for sure how long does it take uh if i depends

on the day of the week if i go on like a Tuesday morning, it takes five minutes. Oh, okay, cool. If I go on a weekend, I would never go on a weekend. Right. Because it's over an hour, probably. Damn, okay. Because in Vancouver, they have a thing called fall spring, right? Where flowers start coming up and it's like, yay, spring is here. And then all of a sudden, it pours rain for weeks and weeks on end.

So is this tulip, is that part of this fall spring? Tulips come up, you know, they'll take a few weeks before they start blooming. Okay. But I forgot how many I planted. Oh, I planted so many. They're coming up all over the place. All I'm hearing is I'm so rich I have a yard. That's all I'm hearing as a resident of an apartment oh let me tell you i know monopoly man to have a yard uh no it's it's

gorilla planting i've been going around sneaking around uh public property planting tulips yeah yeah are you what is your what is your season what are you gonna what are you, what is your season? What are you going to plant this year? Do you have a plan? No, no plan. I have a bunch of grass I want to kill. Like crabgrass or something like that? No, just regular grass. You know what?

It just, the leaves fall on it, then it dies on its own, but then it comes back and i just wanted to come back yeah what are you gonna do just like pour bleach on it or something maybe i'll pour bleach on it that seems to be i've got a bit of a green thumb i'm gonna pour bleach all over the grass what are what's a quicker way to kill grass let me know i honestly i think you just got to pull it up No. I honestly, I think you just got to pull it up. Pour cement over it. That's true.

That's actually not a bad idea. The city needs more gray spaces. Yeah, we do need more gray spaces. That's true. Anyway, so I've gotten excited about gardening, but I'm wrong. It's premature. Well, congratulations. Thank you.

What's going on with you graham um this week uh i was i went out for dinner at a place that i haven't been a long time really nice mexican restaurant and i like if i go to a new restaurant and it's uh like fun friday night i always like to figure out like what are what's their nacho what's their take on nachos and a lot of times it's like fun Friday night. I always like to figure out like, what's their nacho? What's their take on nachos? And a lot of times it's just plain, easy, simple nachos. Or sometimes the cheese is way overdone and that's a little concerning.

What's like your ideal nacho ratios? I like it. The chips, the cheese, the toppings. Like what are you talking about your ideal nacho? I don't want so much cheese that things are getting soggy you know what i mean like i like to have some still crisp crispness in the game merry christmas thank you and also to you um it's happy shippity i don't know sorry don't exclude me um yeah i have uh i you know i have criteria but like you know i can still be surprised and but do you like like just cheese and you know salsa or whatever do you like

you know sour cream guacamole like any of those other i get i get extra cheese if I can, if that's on offer. I'll get guacamole. And I, you know, like it depends on the place, right? Because sometimes you say, I want guacamole, and it comes out and there's like this green paste that they've kind of just put in a cup, and it's like, I can't believe you're charging me for this.

It's kind of like something you get at Quiznos. You know, it's just like, it's got the same consistency as like shampoo. Quiz the best mexican food they put the burrito through the little uh conveyor belt oven um but this place i ordered uh first of all they had this is the thing too right is when you order they have two sizes, right? It'll be like regular and then, you know, extra large. And so you have to ask the staff, like, what do you think two adult people would be able to conquer? And like the thing they brought out was so huge that I can, the mind reels at how big the large.

A trough and uh so yeah i got the um uh i got the regular size nachos extra cheese these were the best nachos i think i've ever had in my life did you want to name the restaurant i don't i do and then i don't you know what i mean yeah you. You don't want anyone to feel like you're not. Yeah, exactly. Leave it to me in your will. Yes. You have hit,

you don't understand how much you've hit on a nerd. Like there's no Mexican food here. That's good. Oh, so this is, I want you like a porn, like a horno to describe. Describe it very slowly.

What was on your nachos? Okay. So here's, this is something that I feel like most people, most places get wrong. Is the cheese is not just on the top. They've done a layer of chips. Yeah. And then a layer of cheese with some, like a little bit of toppings. Then another layer of chips.

Yes. And that's where the bulk of the like jalapenos and olives and all that kind of stuff was on top but because the ratio like it wasn't so many chips that the bottom ones got soggy so it's like the perfect ratio of chip to cheese like a nacho architect it was it was like a nacho architect it was so good and i feel like they were even don't know, the chips were better for some reason. And maybe the way they baked it was another. What as your, did they have, were the jalapenos on it? Yeah, there were jalapenos and you could get guac was extra and extra cheese was extra. But then you got, I think, sour cream. And what about olives?

Were olives involved? Yeah. I don't remember olives. Because i'm a black olives guy for sure i must have definitely begun a love affair with olives yeah yeah oh no i love olives and you know what i never had until i was like well into my 20s was like an olive that had the pit in it that you kind of like a charcuterie oh yeah the green ones yeah that blew my mind that was a real game changer for me and do you like the pit i just like eating around it i find it like a neat little like eating a little bit of tooth exercise um what do you ever make nachos at home no i mean i could hey but i feel like i would just i would fuck it up i think it would be wrong you got to get the blueprints from the guy at this yeah you gotta sneak in at night you got

we gotta do oceans 11 and then not show blueprints i don't know if you've ever felt this compulsion when when you've been served something you really like that you tell the wait staff like oh that was those was superb like they give a shit at all oh i do it all the time i'm like i'm like that's the bet and yeah of course they're like well i didn't make it i don't care yeah i've also had something at a restaurant that was so good that i ordered it immediately afterward i would like bring me another one of those. Oh yeah. Right now. The nachos well knocked me out, but I, if we had ordered the giant one, I would have,

I would have still conquered it. I feel like I would have still eaten it all, even though it would be making me sick. I would still eat it. I make nachos at home. Yeah. And, uh,

I do a cookie sheet. So, uh, you can evenly disperse everything. Yep. Smart. What I don't like is a restaurant with layers on top. I want a flat surface.

You want a flat, all across. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Yeah. And then you can also be like, this portion is for the kids. Yeah. This third is for my wife. This third is for me.

I like having this stuff. Yeah, I put chicken nuggets and fries on the kids. Yeah, exactly. I put a thing of macaroni and cheese there. I make them all the time too because I try to make the best approximations

of any Mexican stuff I can at my house because again, in the UK, there's just no good Mexican food. I have not found it. And I go, so I serve mine in bowl. I get a, you know, a pasta house because again in the uk there's just no good mexican food i have not found it and i go so i serve mine in bowl i get a you know a pasta bowl where it's like the bottom is flat like it's a wide flat bowl so i do that right i put the chips like around the perimeter of it and then put the stuff in the middle so i control the level of oh yeah that's what do i want this particular this bite i'm gonna put this you know i'll drag

it through the cheese and the whatever whatever yeah yeah i've gotten to the point now where i just glop it glop the wet stuff on top of the end i don't i'm not interested in like dipping anymore um yeah i the the other thing about this like structurally is underneath the like big thing of toppings. I think the second level of chips were mostly just chips to kind of suspend everything and not get too gloopy. So it was, man, it was masterful.

I just, uh, the more you just, I'm picturing something that has like thousands of chips. Cause of the way you're describing it. It was so big I will go back with a group and we'll attack

the big one as a team I once watched a documentary about Frank Gehry the architect did he build nachos? he started out in nachos Disney concert hall and nachos yeah the experience music project

freaking the guggenheim bilbao and uh a big thing and not just but no but there was one part of this documentary where he's sitting in his office with his team and he's crumpling up a piece of paper and he's like balancing it on top of a bunch of other crumpled up pieces of paper. And he's like, how about this? No? Silted a bit. Do you think that that's him being silly? Is that him being silly on the job? Yeah, he was like Boris Yeltsin.

He was drunk all the time. I can imagine the actual construction guy standing there being like, fuck. He's being serious. Yeah, we've got to get these weird beams. You've got to figure out how to make that out of steel. construction guys standing there being like fuck he's being serious yeah we gotta get out of steel yeah crumble some steel to make it look like that paper yeah yeah i watched a documentary about uh construction workers that work like way way up on just walking along like beams and girders and stuff and they love it the people who do it they can't wait to get back up there in this documentary i don't know if that's true across the business but everybody's like nope

as soon as they can get up there i love it i love being up high in the air and i'm so terrified of heights me too you know that picture of the guys all building a skyscraper and they're all sitting on a beam eating their lunches yeah yeah apparently like i saw someone posted it saying this was staged this didn't really they didn't they all posed for this and i was like yeah but they did it yeah it wasn't fake yeah yeah like yeah but that's not how they ate their lunch yeah but they did at that moment yeah exactly they were there they could have died yeah i was recently in um they at the hoover dam which already scared like the hoover dam is already terrifying to me like i can't even you know how have you guys been to the hoover dam uh when i was outside of vegas no i was i got it was my bachelor party i got i couldn't find the groom did you accidentally murder somebody and then wake up and yeah

all about it and yeah i had a mike tyson tattoo yeah well you know how you can walk on it like i can't even walk across it because it's just like my knees start shaking but it's crazy because the hoover dam isn't even the scariest thing there's a bridge i forget the name of it um it's named after like a former governor or something, but it's just the bridge that is the freeway that goes over the Hoover dam. That's like 500 feet higher than the Hoover dam. And it's built entirely out of concrete. If you even look at pictures of it, like I rerouted,

I was supposed to drive. I was like, I can't drive across that bridge. Like we have to figure out another way to like get to the highway. Cause it's so terrifying and the and i've seen pictures same just like your documentary of the guys like making that bridge because somehow it's made out of concrete even though it's like 8 000 feet in the air and it's like completely smooth i can't even look at it yeah it's

completely smooth and so the idea i'm like i can't even drive my car on it but the idea of these guys like swinging from ropes like pouring the concrete up there and not even caring i watched a scary scary movie that's on netflix i think and it's about uh so two two women who are climbers that climb up the like world's largest broadcast tower and it's so scary because they get stranded up there the the ladder breaks and they get stranded at the top it's a horror movie yeah is it real or a documentary no it's a horror movie okay yeah real or a documentary like a scripted or is it a reality show it was it was yeah it's a like a thriller kind of but the whole time this was i don't know why this is my worry about heights like i'm terrified of heights but also i'm worried of like dropping something from

a height like keys yeah like a phone oh yeah and so the whole time i walk over those like uh subway grates that are yes the exact size of a cell phone yes yes yes that's same but i'm also tempted to see if my cell phone would fit into those like i'm tempted to be like oh can that would it be perfect knock somebody else's in there and see yeah wait what did they how did they get stranded at the top like their ropes fell off them no they they climb up the like service ladder and because it's so old uh screws kind of start falling out of the ladder and they get up to the top and the ladder snaps and so it's too far down for them to go connect to the ladder so they're just stranded and it's scary like it's scarier than a movie that takes place in open

water where people are stranded like it's oh dude yeah that's my other i can't stand the ocean can't stand it she hates heights she hates depth don't get her started on widths dude i'm like space and the ocean no fucking thanks dude none of our business none of our business that's true yeah why you know they say why did you climb that mountain because it was there not good enough not good yeah yeah it was there like scuba like oh i want to scuba dive like two miles down why why why why do you care you're not welcome like no i don't get it at all the ocean shit has like chainsaws and lasers on their heads it's like fish with like razor blades coming out of their faces and it's like yeah you're not

supposed to be down there yeah that's the thing that you hate is the thing that makes james cameron the horniest i know and that's so him and jacques custeau what a couple of nuts what a couple of idiots like james cameron loved shape of water do you think he was like oh if only oh yeah i could fall in love with an aqua person. Oh, it should have been me. The best I could do is the way of water. Do you guys want to move on and talk about some overheards? First, we have some business.

Oh, let's do a little business. Oh, hello, everyone. We're just taking a little break from the festivities with our friend april yeah we're in the boardroom and uh this is the part of the show where we go we head back to the boardroom yeah and uh no bad ideas in the boardroom uh we do a little bit of business we uh we both do a shot of espresso and then then we're back, back into the game. No, you say it with an X, expresso. Yeah, I also say ask, like ax. It's just the way I speak.

Yeah. Okay, well, guys, it's Jumbotron time. And Jumbotrime, trime means that we're going to read a Jumbotron message. Oh, my D fell out. Now, this one, well, Graham, this one is for Christian and it's from Catherine. Why don't you read it, Graham?

Okay, let me just get it up here. This is for Christian from Catherine. Chris, since you don't seem to care about ruining something I loved, I will gladly ruin something you love by ensuring that Graham Clark and or Dave will say that you you are a complete jerk i will not be returning your calls whoa a fight whoa is this the first fight jumbotron it might just be i don't i don't even know you know like because some people they you know it's like a fun silly thing right like like you ruined the movie i wanted to see

so i'm gonna i'm gonna make sure you get called a jerk yeah that might be it but maybe they ruined like you know they were supposed to take care of this person's iguana and the iguana died yeah there's not enough details the mind goes crazy yeah it's true it's uh it could be anything like you say from an iguana to uh you know not taking down the christmas lights to yeah spoiling a movie spilling some red wine on a beautiful white coat yes you know that kind of thing when we were wearing our big white coat and hugging while drinking wine um we tempt fate so yeah this is a opening a whole tons of possibilities um oh yeah yeah uh for future jumbotrons if you would like a jumbotron where you can say something nice or you can tell someone they're a jerk and you're never going to return their phone calls what about texts do you

think they're going to return their texts well i can see not returning phone calls. What about texts? Do you think they're going to return their texts? Well, I can see not returning phone calls. Cause, uh, and, or if you're a Christian, the person or the, uh,

religious, uh, religious. Yeah. Uh, and you want to reply to this message. Oh, you know,

he head over to maximum fun.org slash jumbotron. Yeah. He's going to run into the hundreds to get this fight over. Um, okay. So yeah yeah let us know uh christian uh it'll cost you 100 bucks to let us know if or katherine it'll cost you 100 bucks to let us know if uh you'll be returning texts yes yeah that's right this is we need this in. We don't need it all explained in one chunk. No, no, no. Okay, back to the show. Okay.

Since the dawn of time, man has dreamed of bringing life back from the dead. From Orpheus and Eurydice to Frankenstein's monster, resurrection has long been merely the stuff of myth, fiction, and fairy tale. Until now. Actually, we still can't bring people back from the dead. That would be crazy.

But the Dead Pilot Society podcast has found a way to resurrect great dead comedy pilots from Hollywood's finest writers. Every month, Dead Pilot Society brings you a reading of a comedy pilot that was sold and developed but never produced. Performed by the funniest actors from film and television. How does Dead Pilots Society achieve this miracle? The answer can only be found at MaximumFun.org. Hello, dreamers. This is Evelyn Denton, CEO of the only world-class, fully immersive theme resort, Steeplechase. You know, I've been seeing more and more reports on the blogs that our beloved park simply

isn't safe anymore. Murder them, I've been seeing more and more reports on the blogs that our beloved park simply isn't safe anymore. Murder them? I'm gonna wreck it. They say they got mugged by brigands in the fantasy kingdom of Ephemera, or hijacked by space pirates in Infinite Item. I mean, I could have a knife. My papa said that I needed to do a crime. Friends, I'm here to reassure you that it's all part of the show. These criminals were really just overzealous

staff trying to make things a little more magical for our guests we're just as safe as we've always been this isn't a county fair dreamers this is steeplechase the adventure zone every thursday at maximumfund.org Overheard. Overheards. Man, oh man, is it a big wide world? It is. And let me tell you, if you go out on a walk, or you really put your ear to the ground,

or you're paying attention all around you, you will overhear something great. And we appreciate it if you send it in to us. You can send it in to spy at MaximumFun.org. And April, you're still trying to get pull one up from the memory banks. Yeah, I'm trying to think because it's like I could tell you some scandalous things.

So I live in a flat, but it's one of three in a house, right? Okay. Because I live in England where everything is 8,000 years old. So I live in this Charles Dickens house that's got three flats and I live in the top and then there's a middle one and then there's a basement one right and i can hear my middle neighbors all of the time i hear everything they say at all times and they have some wild fights but then now i'm like they're definitely listening to me telling

you that i hear them so i don't really know how that goes. Okay, well, if you think of anything else. Yeah, I will. I'll try to think. Jump in. I also have the similar thing. My upstairs neighbors

who I like, we've met several times and they have a little baby but the kid's a toddler age so everything is thumping

and dropping things. Yes, yes. and i'm the same i'm like if we can hear that so crystal clear then they definitely if we're like this fucking kid yeah yeah exactly it's like a good yeah you don't really think of that and then you're going what the fun and you're like oh shit and then when they all of a sudden be quiet i'm like oh they just heard me bitching about it but then i like, but I'm glad that you did because you need to stop yelling. Yeah, exactly.

Tone it down, down there. Holy shit. Yeah. There was a big fight. It was the previous tenants above us. There was a big fight between the, I think it was husband and wife.

And it was like, everybody in the building could hear it. And they were like shrieking at each other so at least that is not the family yes yeah but here's sorry this might drag it down i am curious it's like because i've been in a situation where you go well what do you do do you call somebody do you call the police like what do you do i went up to their place and just made sure there wasn't like shit being thrown around or anything like that just like listening because but if they were terrible neighbors from the get-go

but if there was what would you have done barged in yeah i would have barged in and you don't throw shit around in this exactly that's in this building we take care of our shit but it's an interesting thing because i've been in situations before where you know in other apartments where yeah you hear that you start to go do i intervene like this sound there it gets to a level where you're like i know i'm not supposed to be hearing this but i do and what if somebody's in danger it's like an interesting like do i mind my own business or do i step in like yeah and our building is so mind your own business to the point of like, I don't know anybody in the building.

I know the people right above me. I know the woman that's kind of like the superintendent. That's it. Everybody else is just like mysterious. I was once at a New Year's Eve party in my early 20s and there was a couple there and they were fighting and it was one of them lived at the party and it was there were it was like a big fight in the bedroom stuff being thrown

like partying in the next room well the in the next room at this point it was probably after midnight and for some reason the music that was playing was like dixieland jazz like woody woody allen clarinet music and we're me and my friends are just sitting there listening to this huge fight well and uh i think we stayed to make sure she got out of there. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. This is their fight music. Nobody can hear the fight. Oh, I don't mean to laugh, but like,

what a scene. Yeah. It was amazing. Dave, do you have an overheard? I barely have an overheard. This is one from a radio commercial. Oh,

fun. Okay. And there's a terrible, there's a company in vancouver that um has notoriously terrible radio commercials and they are can you guess what i'm thinking of uh i believe it is some sort of jewelry company yes it is fence diamond yes the worst absolutely the pits yeah it's people talk like you gotta reenact it for me reenact the entire thing the whole the series of them is just people being like talking about jewelry like it's the people who own the company talking about yeah jewelry and they've like gone through generations of people who work there are part of this team who talks about these jewels that are available but

the one line i mean mean, there was one, they were trying to sell this ampersand or like this at symbol, diamond at symbol for Valentine's Day. Oh, no. Why would anyone want that? And when I get, I put it on my wife and I say, this is where my love is at. Oh, my God.

That sucks. No, that's not real. That's really the commercial? That was, and that's not real that's really the commercial that was that was and that's not even the one i'm gonna talk about that was just a throwaway one hashtag diamonds but the the line i heard from tag me in your love that's so bad the one i was gonna say here it is it's a line from the uh from a diamond commercial and it says getting engaged is the stanley cup of romantic gestures who is that for no woman would get that

women aren't proposing yeah that's really that's really like dumbing it down for the like you like hockey why don't you get married yeah you like hockey you like ladies why don't you put those two things together yeah you're never gonna get the stanley cup so this is the next best thing yeah it'll be like you're winning the stanley cup it's the stanley cup of what'd you say of romantic romantic gestures yeah wow wow oh boy anyway sorry for putting spence diamonds on blast yeah well they had it coming uh i can't that is so like the opposite of romance not not for me man i mean comparing it to like wow that's amazing

yeah that's Dave's go to he always talks hockey everything's the Stanley Cup of something to me wait do you like hockey oh yeah baby not as much as I like proposing my two favorite

activities I like them both yeah and you hoist you hoist up the person you're getting. Yeah. And you drink out of them. Yeah. Graham? My overseen. This was a

calamity. I watched the whole calamity happen. There's a chain of pharmacies here and I think in Western Canada called London Drugs. And I was at London Drugs. I was just watching and I walked in at the very opening of this, what was going to be a great scene to watch. So I stopped what I was doing and stopped and watched it. And there was a woman that was

in a rascal scooter and there was a woman that was in a rascal scooter and she was getting the attention of the people at the post office. There's a post office right near the front of the drugstore and she was getting the attention of the employee and the employee was like,

oh, can I help you with anything? And she's like, there's a pigeon just went under your desk. A pigeon flew a pigeon just went under your desk a pigeon flew in here and went under your desk and at first i think she didn't understand because she wanted it to not be true that there was a pigeon under the desk but she's getting pranked yeah yeah she was like oh okay and the the woman really like doubled down was like no for real there's a pigeon just walked under your desk and uh the woman right away uh froze frozen terror uh the pigeon walked into where they store the packages and which had a door that she shut and then got her manager and it's like the

managers i guess it's his job but also that's the shitty thing about being a manager it's like the managers, I guess it's his job, but also that's the shitty thing about being a manager. It's like, go capture this bird. Go catch the bird. Did he at least say, oh, I've heard of airmail, but this is ridiculous. Yeah. Also, can I tell you that, like, I hate birds. Like, I love birds, dude. She hates birds.

Well, it's because, you know, I mean, they love height. No, but like like for the most part i mean i guess that's unfair i'll be like 90 of birds can fuck off like i guess there's like cool ones and pretty ones but for the most part i'll say like okay yeah what is the scariest but here's this i was the opposite what's the bird you like i mean i guess you know the usual like the peacock or whatever it's like we love the he's a cool guy he's got something to offer no living here okay so i live in brighton right which is right on the coast like if you look out my window you can see the uh english channel so it's there's tons of seagulls tons tons tons almost you know what i'm gonna send you guys a video

i am because my bedroom window multiple nights a month i will wake up because my window has like a ledge i will wake up terrified because it sounds like somebody is making their way into my house very roughly trying to climb in the window and i'll open a thing and it's a fucking seagull just stabbing my window with his beak jesus like four in the morning just going and i hate it so much but the scary one of the scariest things genuinely that's ever happened to me is here so seagulls are everywhere here you cannot eat food outside because they will just walk right up to you and take it out of your hand right and what happened to me is i had one this is 1000 true there's a pier a brain pier i got a churro on the pier took a nice hefty bite of my

churro one day a seagull flew from the sky took it out of my mouth oh my god i had just taken the bite it dive bombed the dude's beak entire head and beak was inside of my mouth took the churro out of my mouth and flew off it was so horrifying and it was that thing where the people i the people i was with it was one of those moments where everyone looked at me and you could tell they were like please don't laugh and i had to go you guys are allowed to laugh like because i just was like that's insane like they were looking at me like holding their laughter and i I'm like, you can laugh. And then they all started laughing. And then I was like, that's the scariest thing that's ever happened to me. I have 900 diseases now.

There was a bird's head in my mouth. So that's how aggressive seagulls are here. They will just come up to you and take food out of your mouth or hand. Wow. Oh, my God. And if you don't, they'll yell at you. They'll just squawk right in your face like give me your food right now wow oh my god they're so aggressive i can't believe

you survived that to be honest yeah i would have thrown myself i know i was like i should just jump off of the pier right now but yeah it took a while to recover for sure oh shit there's wow yeah there's like a place here called granville Island, which is like a big tourist spot. And it's full of seagulls. It's right on the water. Yeah. And it's just like where you go to lose your fries. Yes.

Your fries or ice cream or whatever. I've seen people here because there's tons of parks and stuff. And they sit down to try to have a picnic. And a seagull will just walk up, take the sandwich and walk off. And that's it. You're done. What's your big move after a seagull does that? There's nothing. You're not going to go catch a seagull. Exactly. It's like when you. And that's it. You're done. What's your big move after a seagull does that? There's nothing.

You're not going to go catch a seagull. Exactly. It's like when you're going to run after it. It can fly, motherfucker. Like, what are you going to do? You can't do nothing. Exactly. I hate them.

And they're so arrogant. It's not even like a shy, like, maybe I'll dip in and take a fry. Like, they just march up and take it and march off. Yeah, like a pigeon is usually pretty gentle about that kind of thing. Yeah. Yeah. Go for crumbs and stuff like that. Yeah.

No, these seagulls got attitude and I hate it. Yeah. Our crows are pretty entitled as well. Our crows certainly feel fine jumping on your table and stuff like that. They don't even care about the food. They just, they just want to mess with you.

They're just fucking with your mind. Yeah. I think crows are smart enough to mess with you. Yes think i think are idiots but crows i think i know what they're doing yeah seagulls are like the kind of people that have like tailgate parties and stuff like yeah exactly group of seagulls uh flock of seagulls yeah i uh uh, floggers eagles. Yeah. I, uh, so anyways, uh, the, the manager and the employee both go into the back and that you can hear a kerfuffle. She comes running out,

like freaking out and, uh, hands in the air, like, so obviously it flapped around. It was getting raucous in there. And like, to his credit,

the, the manager was so cool and collected he walked out he got two big plastic bins to kind of use as like a claw to catch him and uh and it was successful he he caught it he took it outside and he opened up the thing and the pigeon went berserk and was flying you know uh wings everywhere and then then finally got out and went away. But, you know, like trying to capture something that's like flapping in your face. I don't know how he did it. He was he was braver man than I because, yeah, I would have freaked.

I'd be like, I quit. Yeah, exactly. I'd be like, the pigeon lives here now. Like, exactly. Yeah. Welcome to your new home, Mr. Pigeon. Let me tender my resignation here. I'm not interested in working at this pigeon store.

Do I address this letter to you or to... Have you ever had a bird or a bat fly into your house? No, thank God, no. No. I had a squirrel. I like bats, though. Yeah, bats are cool. Yeah.

I'd hang out with a bat. Yeah, they're cool. They kind of keep hang out with a bat. Yeah, they're cool. They kind of keep to themselves. They just want fruit and bugs. Yeah, and if you look at a bat, it just looks like a dog with wings. Like, they're genuinely very cute. They're just, like, furry, but then their wings are, I guess, kind of gross. But, like, I'd hang out with a bat a million times before I hung out with some bird.

Yeah, and if you see there's videos online of how bats pee when they're hanging upside down it's pretty cool it's pretty cool how they okay but it's also weird because they have like human dicks they do have like human dicks that's true it's also weird and they're like why are you photographing me i'm trying to pee here but that's the inspiration of batman because they're like huh these bats are really hung like a horse yeah they were like let's take the idea of a man who pees upside down and build on that i weirdly did recently see a video you know just like how on instagram like on the discover page i'll just have all these random like you know animal videos and it was one of them was the thing of like check out this bat peeing and then it was like that's it that's like a dude's dick what is happening

and we never know because they're in the dark all the time so this is the first footage we have that was the thing is it was like the first they turned on a spotlight and then you're like wait a minute that's a human boner what's happening the bat was so excited how could he be with a boner the bat likes to be watched so that's why oh wow i didn't mean to kink shame the bat no it's fine there's no bats listening well a lot of our bat listeners quit well they use sonar to listen have you guys seen those bats that are um just let me let me tell you the answer is yes i've seen every bat every kind i feel like they're in the philippines or something but the footage of those bats that are like human size that are like the size of like a three-year-old

child have you guys seen those yeah yeah those are insane like if that flew at me at night i would probably have a heart attack oh yeah that's like getting attacked by a gremlin or something yeah exactly like the footage of them sleeping yeah it's like it's three feet long it's just like a person it is like batman sleeping where you're like this is an actual dude imagine the hog on that bat um now uh we also have overheard sent into us from all over the world if you want to send in one you can send it into spy at maximum fun.org and uh i think do i have uh no i thought i had one from the uk but i don't uh these are all north american overheards i apologize there was well no, she,

she misses North. Oh, that's true. Yeah. I welcome it. This is a dip back into, okay. Yeah.

Um, these better be about nachos. Yeah. This first one comes from, uh, Sabrina right here in Vancouver on a rainy Sunday afternoon. I was at Costco in downtown Vancouver, along with at least a third of the city.

Yeah, Costco's. I don't ever go, but I remember from youth that it was always busy, always. There was no downtime at Costco. So while weaving our way up and down the aisle, I passed a man pushing his cart and talking on the phone, saying, I'm really slow here because I have no idea what I'm doing. This is,

you know, maybe whoever, uh, got Costco for him had bailed. He was like, I got to get out there and you got to fake it till you make it. I miss it. Yeah.

It's there. There's no equivalent over there. Is there, I don't know. There must be, but like, I don't know what it is. I don't have a car.

So the things, yeah. Big stores like that are like out in shopping parks. You know what I mean? They're not anything that I haven't been to any of them. Cause I can't drive. I think the equivalent over there is a large Reginald. I mean,

I'm sure they definitely have an equivalent. It's just like, I haven't been. Can I also tell you that reminds me of one of the times I've laughed hardest in my entire life is when I saw Idiocracy in the theater. Oh, yeah. And the scene where they're going to Costco and the greeter says, welcome to Costco. I love you. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. I laughed. It's one of the hardest times i've ever laughed in a movie theater and then when he says something about going to costco when he was like i went to law school here i mean it was a comedy then but honestly i think it might have been a documentary a lot of it has come true yeah welcome to costco i love you welcome to costco i love you uh this next one comes from zach oh sorry zoe c in seattle uh i haven't overheard from the sea tech airport in the delta lounge two teenage brothers were getting the breakfast buffet

and they were at the self-serve pancake machine. Have you ever seen pancake machine? Yes. It's hypnotic. You just get it. Does it squirt out just like the batter squirt out? You're in charge of the batter and then it goes along the conveyor belt. Yeah, and it's also

a conveyor belt oven. A la Quiznos, your favorite restaurant. Exactly. You gotta try the chimichanga they were staring at it which if you've ever been in like continental breakfast and they have them you have even if you hate pancakes you have to try out the machine and these uh two teens were looking at one said to the other oh my god that's so cool it's like a 3d printer for pancakes like the fact that we're like it's a quiznos oven that's

generational that they're like this is a 3d printer absolutely although quiznos is made by a person yeah but then they put it on the little yeah sure the conveyor belt yeah which is the to me that was the fun part and getting a little pepper you know when they wrapped it up yeah and a little pepper that i threw away i didn't want yeah no i never wanted it but it to me it was it felt like the deli experience getting i mean people complain about the smell of subway quiz no smells 10 times worse i don't even remember the last time i ever do you guys have like a quiz nose nearby you we have one yeah uh the floor above me is a quiz i can hear them arguing all the time that's interesting you live underneath the quiz yeah yeah yeah the sandwiches

keep hitting the floor the shop is on street level this guy keeps this guy keeps planting tulips outside the quiz uh i hear them arguing he's like no you can't run the conveyor belt the other way and uncook it yeah exactly once it's cooked it's cooked it's an oven not a time machine yeah uh this last one comes from kelsey h from burnaby bc i was at a coffee shop on the weekend and overheard what sounded like a first date the guy was talking about traveling and said yeah i travel all over italy and i never found a pizza i liked more than dominoes later on that man went to prison i would have called the cops yeah this is somebody's infiltrated our country i would

have done a citizen citizens arrest on that guy yeah i mean domino's isn't even the best of the late night exactly the chain pizzas can you imagine going to italy and being like a reverse snob like having like this italian grandma make you a pizza and taking a bite and going i think i'm gonna order domino yeah nice try nona yeah i think i'm gonna get some dominoes i like uh the pizza you can order from dominoes that has you know crunched up ranch doritos yeah over it yeah oh a bit when i first moved here we got um in the we got a flyer you know the coupons for dominoes and it i i'm endlessly delighted by things here that are sold as american like get the american barbecue blah blah blah you know where i go that's not a thing like

any americans eat and so one of them um the coupon for the dominoes thing it was like the american you know whatever specialty pizza and it had uh cut up hot dogs barbecue sauce corn it was all these things were like zero americans or people would eat this and i it just it was so marketed as like the authentic american slice you know and it was crazy the sparklers on it yeah a gun but it was like what i just was like no one would eat this it was so gross cut up hot dogs bro i'm like all americans are not four years old a lot of them are though a lot of them are yeah a finger full of bugles what is uh uh what's the pizza situation like over there well i'm actually very lucky because where i live um the grocery store that i shop at it's like two streets away and in front of it is

always parked a pizza van that is run by an italian family oh yeah and it's maybe the best pizza i've ever had in my life and it's super cheap like they're always there every day like it's almost like they shouldn't be there because i just have every day i'll go i could just go get a pizza in five seconds yeah but uh yeah it's an italian family they all have really thick italian accents it's like cartoonish but they're you know they're in the van like tossing the dough above their heads and oh i love it the greatest you do have to there's there's a an army of seagulls you have to get through yeah exactly you have to fight i have to there's there's an army of seagulls you have to get through exactly you have to fight i have to wear body armor to get there and yeah yeah so that's like

really too convenient but there's a lot of really good um pizza here i guess i mean it's pretty hard to mess it up unless you put like hot dogs on it but uh that's that reminds me of home same chain like we have when i get homesick i go to don we have all the same stuff here like we have home same chain like we have when i get homesick i go to don we have all the same stuff here like we have like domino's papa john's pizza hut all that but like as far as actual good pizza there's plenty of of uh that here but the pizza truck super convenient yeah it's like your proximity to italy is like your proximity yeah exactly it's like I walked two streets over and there it is. Yeah. Lucky. And we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us, our phone number is 1-844-779-7631. That's one.

SpyPod 1, like these people have. Hi, Dave, Graham, and possible guests. This is Rhianna from Ward, Manitoba, calling in with an overheard. So I teach grade 8 and I like to do interview questions with my students before morning attendance to just kind of wake them up and get the day started. The theme this day was geography and I told them not to look up at the map on one of our bulletin boards, but I caught

a student's gaze kind of going up towards it, and so I playfully called her out and she responds, no, I wasn't looking up at the map i was looking at the lord let me guys off i go i was so in awe that's pretty hard to question yeah that's right it's illegal for you to say where i was looking a little bit our lord jesus christ ever heard of him you're gonna get mad at me for that oh yeah if i go to the press with this so you're gonna get and he's actually everywhere so i can

look wherever i want it's weird that they would have a test with maps on the wall like that's unfair to the students i kind of feel like that's on her it's like maybe take it down for the test it wasn't a test it was fun trivia he said ah okay all right um did you graham in your school did you have a picture of the queen in your classroom no we had we had a poster of bill clinton yeah we had a picture of whoopi goldberg telling us to read a book yeah that's right uh yeah no we didn't have anything like that you did you have queen i don't think we had the maybe we had the picture of the queen in the school right oh maybe we had that somewhere in the school but definitely not in the class is the can what's the canadian national it's not god's you guys don't also have god save the queen do you no ours is oh canada okay oh right okay okay yeah yeah it slaps uh next phone call uh hey dave graham probable guest this is nick from philadelphia

calling in with an overheard i was in the 30th street train station here in philadelphia walking around waiting for my train and there were two teenaged goths doing the same thing just walking around very gothed out heavy makeup um you know big tattered baggy black clothing just you know as goth as goth gets and as i walked by them i heard one of them say to the other man i wish i had my skull well off i go yeah i usually don't leave home so much yeah let me say this i am also i love that no matter how much i age and how much i like get out of touch or like i don't know who's famous now whatever the thing that remains steadfast is the goth look the goth look goth bands i don't care

if you're 50 or 15 you're wearing the same thing if you're a goth yeah i love that i love it and it also seems to be like no one really replaces again if you're 50 or you're 15 you're still listening to the cure you're still listening to bow house like no one's even replaced those people i love it so much are you goth and can you be a little bit goth or i think i'm goth adjacent uh-huh i was because like i like that stuff the only reason i'm not like full-blown goth is because it's a level of commitment i can't do like i genuinely love it aesthetically and if i had the patience and the skill like I would do like Susie Sue makeup every day of my life but I just don't have that level I do it once in a while there's a goth night here in Brighton that I go dance at like once a month

and when I do that yeah it's rad and I'll get super goth out so that's what I'm saying I admire goths like they are the most steadfast dedicated people yeah it takes a lot of work to do that every day it's it yeah goths and punks it's a lot of attention paid to totally yes yeah when do you think america will be ready for its first goth president i did actually somebody sent me i wish i could remember his name uh i do have a black ball cap that says make america goth again that's in like the same like you know trump font that's actually somebody sent me oh i wish i could remember his name uh i do have a black ball cap that says make america goth again that's in like the same like you know trump font that's fun um you know i don't know i don't know i hope we're ready soon i hope that's like you know the

next that's on the horizon that's the next hurdle that we have to yeah as a people who's the biggest goth american skeletor yeah skeletor yeah right name three songs name three cure songs i would say who's the most famous american goth i mean in in reality or fiction like in an actual because like yeah batman i'm going batman batman's pretty god i'm'm saying Lydia Dietz from, uh, Lydia Dietz is good. Oh, I guess Wednesday Adams.

Cause she's having a whole resurgence. Oh, it's true. Yeah. Like all these kids are all into this now. Yeah. Yeah. Why wouldn't they be spooky?

Can you imagine if your parents were goth? Oh my God. That'd be so crazy. If your parents were goth and you were like, and you were like, God, you losers. Yeah. like give me some polo shirts a few years ago we took margo to a cure concert at deer lake park yeah and it was it she wore she had uh it was like bedtime for her and she had like skeleton pajamas. She wore, I love it. But we're,

we're not goth. We just like, you know, I like the 10 best cure songs, which are by the way, not sad at all. They're like very happy poppy song. Yeah. Yes.

Um, but there were, there was definitely goth parents with their like, not goth kids who are like 15 year old kids like reading a book see that's so funny because i which i'm sure there is like i'm sure that's their exactly their rebellions like god can't we just go to old navy and get like khakis but because i remember the last time i saw the cure like you know i'm 43 so i and i was fully goth out but then i saw just as many like again like 15 year olds where I'm like

this again it seems to be the one genre and I'm sure there's other modern it's like you know my chemical romance and like there's been other things but for the most part like the core bands I feel like those don't change like if you're a teenager you're still gonna you know if you if you're a teenager and you and you want to be goth and you're like i like this whole subculture it's kind of like you're still gonna be listening the same stuff i listened to when i also found out about it yeah yeah we haven't had a replacement yet for like the smiths or the cure or depeche mode what about jack skellington he was he was kind of a modern version of all that yeah he's the torch bearer.

Jack Skellington. I mean, I guess Tim Burton. Wait, is Tim Burton American? Yeah, Tim Burton's America's Top Goth. He's gotta be. American Top Goth! He's one! You should host America's Next Top Goth.

We were all rooting for you. And here's your final phone call. Hello, Dave Graham and possible guest. This is Kurt from Newfane, Vermont in Brattleboro, Vermont, recently at the checkout counter of a grocery store. It was a very, very young

looking teenager who was talking sort of to a couple of the others oblivious to checking out customers. She was doing it at the same time. And then she said, she said she wants to wait until she's 23. The other one says, my mom had me when she was 23. The other one says, so late.

I thought by the time I'm 20 20 i'd like to have a kid you know baby fever once you have it uh you can't get rid of it okay off i go baby fever at 20 everybody has it i don't like teenagers with baby fever there's no cure for it the only cure is the baby that's right that's the only thing that'll put out that fire wow yeah being 20 I mean come on I was on rum sprayer during my 20s

I feel like dating a 20 year old dude will cure you of that baby fever. Yeah. Right away. That's true. Yeah. And maybe not in Vermont.

Yeah. Weird. They do things a little bit differently in Vermont. Well, that brings us to the end of the episode here. Oh my God. April, this has been so much fun.

We did it. This has been so fun. I'm so glad I got to be, it only took you guys what? 700 episodes. To ask me fun. We did it. This has been so fun. I'm so glad I got to be, it only took you guys, what? 700 episodes to ask me whatever. We were nervous. We were nervous.

The first few hundreds were in person. Yeah, that's right. And we also were nervous. We thought you'd say no. And that would have crushed us. I'm sure. No,

this is super fun. I'm, I'm super stoked to talk to you guys. Yeah, this is great. And, um, please come back. Are you, at this point stoked to talk to you guys. Yeah, this is great. And, um, please come.

Are you, at this point, are you plugging anything? Do you have a podcast you're working on or anything? I have a Patreon. It's just patreon.com slash April Richardson. Um, I've gone through some shit since I moved to England that has made it difficult to have a smooth transition.

I do stand up here. I mean, I've been doing some more standup, like up in London and stuff, but as far as like, I, you know, I have yet to find my groove here.

Right. Also, I have thought that without that, we're ending the episode. So I won't, I do have thoughts. I don't, there's interesting differences between UK and us stand up.

Yes. And, uh, sometimes I feel like I need to really embrace puns more. I'm never going to be a success in the UK. So, yeah. So, yeah, I do the Patreon.

I do a podcast over there. I'm still like, you know, figuring it out. Yeah. Can people still find Go Bayside? Yeah. Go Bayside is going to be available until the end of time on like every possible podcast platform. So yeah, go listen to that. Yeah.

And if you haven't heard it, it's a ton of fun. It's so much fun. That podcast. It's just real goofy. It's real goofy. Yeah. Unlike this. This was a very serious. This is like a TED talk. Would there be a would you ever consider a second show to

recap? The funny thing is, is is like i don't look this is gonna make me sound like the world's dumbest person but same of the bell was genuinely my favorite show like there was no other show i have every episode of it memorized oh yeah so there's nothing i like am as familiar with and then also people were like you know after it ended and everyone has been lovely i mean this is obviously coming from a nice place but everyone would be like either do it again or they'd be like you know do the college years and i tried and it's not funny like i sat down and did a couple of like test episodes and the thing is is the college years they're adults so it's not

as absurd you're not going oh this is a 14 year old doing what's essentially a felony yeah they're adults like they can technically do what they want so it's not as funny to make fun of so it just wasn't good yeah Graham and I once for a couple episodes we had a segment

called saved by the bell favorite lines yeah do you remember your favorite line Graham I'm so excited I'm so excited I'm so scared of course I mean the hall of fame mine was there was a rumor that Screech was going to

elope with Kelly and Mr. Belding said Screech you cantaloupe and he said who are you calling a cantaloupe you melonhead yes yes do you have a favorite line yes i think one of the genuinely wait a minute let me play the theme song for say by the bell favorite lines it's all right because it's say by the bell favorite lines there we go okay okay a genuine laugh that i think was a genuine like demonstration of good comic timing is the episode where they have to get fake married for their uh project like their high school project and they get paired up and of course lisa gets paired with screech

and screech comes home and is like lisa lisa i love you or whatever and lisa goes oh lisa no encata and pretends that she doesn't speak English. I was like, that's actually funny. That is pretty funny. Good for her. It was like good comic timing. Yeah. I wonder if she improv'd it. That's what, well, also she almost breaks. You can see that she almost breaks.

So it almost made me think she was improvising it because it was like, oh, she's almost about to laugh. That's so. How much do you guys get to improvise on the set? Yeah. do you guys stick to the scripts or do you guys like get to just chop it up yeah uh well thank you so much for being our guest it's been really really fun uh holy thank you for having me and thank you out there for listening um if you've uh got nimble fingers exercise them you know make sure that they're still as nimble as they ever were. And come on back next week

for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Audience supported.