Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 783 - Alicia Tobin
Episode Date: March 21, 2023Comedian Alicia Tobin returns to talk queen pranks, fun errands, and airport security. Plus, it’s week 1 of MaxFunDrive 2023. Support the show at maximumfun.org/join....
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Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself.
Woo!
Hello everybody and welcome to another episode of stop podcasting yourself my name is graham
clark and with me as always is a man who could not be more excited it is the max fun drive mr
dave shumka guys i i love to max fun drive my favorite car is the my favorite song is
by the cars it's who gonna max fun drive you home nice nice that is
good that is for our for our many you know what is this our 12th max fun drive that's pretty good
um we can still come up with the content yeah very good uh very now references like drive by the cars
god that was like they must have been so chuffed when they came up with
that because they're like where the car where the cars we've got a we've got finally got a driving
song in our catalog yeah i mean our last song flopped vroom vroom around the track hong kong
hong kong uh anyway it's max fun drive this is uh two weeks a year. We pull out all the stops.
We bring in some of your favorite guests.
They couldn't actually make it this week, but no, I kid.
We try to get as many ears on these shows as possible
because we want everyone out there to know that they can support the show.
There's a bunch of things that you can get if you support the show there's a bunch of things um that you can get
if you support the show during these two weeks not the least of which is all our famous now bonus
content yes our famous now bonus um you head over to maximumfun.org join become a maximum fun member
support the show you love and also support our show yeah and i guess today one of
the all-time greats one of the bright lights here in vancouver and in canada at large it's alicia
tobin everybody hi alicia you pause like you're waiting for a pause. I was building up for this. Who's going to max drive you home tonight?
I had to be so quiet the whole time not to sing that.
That was good.
I can't go on.
Thinking max drive is fun.
It is fun.
Sorry.
It just rhymed.
It just rhymed.
It's good.
We're good.
I'm sorry, Jesse Thorne.
He's cool. He's cool. Yeah. It just rhymed. It just rhymed. It's good. We're good. I'm sorry, Jesse Thorne. He's cool.
He's cool.
Yeah, he'll never listen.
Do we want to get to know us?
Yeah.
Let's get to know us.
Get to know us.
Before we start, Alicia, I have a very important question.
I know what this is about.
Okay. Is Hank a very good boy? I know what this is about. Okay.
Is Hank a very good boy?
He is such a good boy.
Yeah.
He is.
He went to, there's two things at the groomer that I pay to have done.
One is called a bath and tidy, which is like an in-between toenails, ears, face trim, bath.
Oh, that's lovely.
That sounds amazing.
And then the other is just a full groom and
there's a price difference the poodles have to get groomed very often especially in the summer but
the last time i was there the lovely owner was like hey just bring him in for a bath and tidy
next time like you're and i was like okay but then i lost track of time and didn't think about it and
when i went to pick him up from his bath and tidy he looked so funny he was like one of those cows that had been brushed out he had so much fur and like he looked like a gorilla
he looked kind of like a baby cow um this is great and so i have to actually just take him back in
two weeks he's like this can't uh this is not sustainable nothing's wrong that's right um
there's a uh there are more and more poodles. Maybe it's like that thing of like,
when you get a,
get an iPhone,
you're like,
you notice everyone else who has an iPhone.
No,
they're gaining in popularity,
which is like a really,
like definitely more poodles,
more purebred poodles are popular.
And I wonder why.
It's because of you.
It's because of Hank.
Yeah.
Everybody sees Hank.
I think anybody that has like,
listened to me talk about Hank
would be pretty deterred from getting a poodle like there's so much work there's so much
energy and like they're smart they're overly smart for it and really like intelligent and
maybe it's because doodles are such a flop i don't know um have doodles been a flop doodles
a flop no no but i think like one of the things is like uh doodles like when you're
mixing breeds the um personality traits may not be as consistent or i think people want dogs because
they look nice and that's not a good reason to buy a dog um but it's a good secondary reason
yeah loving dogs but then i really want a good looking dog i just want to photograph it i want to do do boudoir photos of my nude dog and i heard that it's oh dave
wow your dog's always nude
do breeders have to set a romantic tone to do these uh yep yeah these breeds do they have to
feed them their favorite food?
That's what I'll... It's very romantic for me
when I eat my favorite food, hot dogs.
But it's the way you eat them is the thing.
What would get dogs in the mood?
Their favorite song?
We love the dogs out.
Yeah.
Do you think that's their favorite song?
Well, I mean, it's certainly one they sing around a campfire.
Does your dog, Hanko, does he notice dogs on TV?
I've noticed recently he's actually noticing TV more.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah, if there's a barking dog on TV, I don't know that he would notice the dog,
but he'd hear the dog and probably focus on the TV.
But over the past couple of months, I've looked over and he's watching tv what's he binging what's
he what's he watching right now it's strange the things that he's watching sometimes it's
it's usually like a conversation uh that's with gene hackman with gene hackman and all that
saxophone music yeah yeah have you seen that movie i think so yeah he plays the saxophone music. Yeah. Have you seen that movie? I think so.
Yeah. He plays the saxophone.
He,
I saw a photo of him,
uh,
cause he's been retired for probably over a decade or so.
I didn't know that.
He's,
he's in his nineties.
I didn't realize he had a career ending injury on Royal Tenenbaum.
Was it the go-kart?
Did he crash the go-kart?
Yeah.
The go-kart tore his ACL.
That's why he had to retire uh-huh um yeah uh alicia you and hank have been a going concern but i was gonna say well
oh sorry i feel like i've we've jumped off on so many tangents already i was gonna say i've noticed
a lot of um uh poodles in the neighborhood yeah totally my
next door neighbor has a poodle a woman around the corner has a poodle both of them are big big
standards yeah and uh but the woman around the corner who has a poodle she's had it for like
two years i just for the first time she cut it in that like fancy French poodle haircut. Oh, yeah.
Hank's had that.
The real poof balls all over.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But like bald in certain spots.
Yeah.
Oh.
Do you know why that's done?
No.
For vanity?
Originally, it was to keep their joints warm because they're duck hunters.
So when they're in the water and then, you know, it just became a thing.
duck hunters so when they're in the water and then you know it just became a thing it's the same reason uh why they have short tails so they don't get their tails stuck in like the underbrush you
know how i keep my joints warm in a doobie there you go a doobie oven a doobie oven i knew that
about you yeah yeah it's weird there's a bunch of standard poodles in our neighborhood. And they are very, they're just like Hank.
Like Hank is like not chill.
And then the next time you meet a poodle, they're chill.
I didn't think that they were, I never placed them as hunting dogs.
I always thought of them as fancy French dogs that could retrieve a croissant.
How do you think French people catch all that, you know, garbage? I'll catch all their cigarettes.
As such a dog fact nerd,
I'm like, well, actually, they're a German breed.
I cannot stop myself.
But the... Poodles are a German breed?
Count down the top five dog facts.
Here we go. Top five dog facts.
Adoy.
And if anyone out there
subscribes to Alicia's dog fact newsletter...
My sub stack? Comes out twice weekly, to Alicia's Dog Fact Newsletter. My sub stack?
Comes out twice weekly, which is a lot, I think.
Wow, that hurts my feelings.
I don't have a lot of irons in the fire right now.
So, I don't know.
I don't know why you're being so mean.
I didn't mean to send Alicia down a spiral with this.
But is it also because poodles are like hypoallergenic?
Is that a big part of you think of their.
Okay.
Dog fact number one.
There's no such thing as a hypoallergenic dog.
Okay.
Why?
Why not?
Why?
Well,
what can we do about that?
All dogs produce dander and dander is what people are allergic to.
Poodles don't shed very much or if at all but all their like hair and dander goes underneath instead of falling out and that's why you have to
groom them more often but yeah this whole thing that people are like i'm gonna get a hypoallergenic
dog it's like well just don't like you don't need to get a frog or get a i think it does
help like if you have severe allergies um but they're still you know but if you have severe
allergies you probably don't get it yeah some people do though they're like oh like my husband
has allergies but they're so we got i hate them yeah but we need something to keep the marriage
from falling apart uh so yeah like i think it does help, but it's not necessary.
Can I make a suggestion for the dog fact?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Dog fact number two.
Poodle rhymes with noodle.
Interesting.
I think poodle is German for puddle.
Oh, I like that.
Stay out of the poodle.
Don't go splashing in the poodle.
I don't really know.
Maybe I just made that up.
I spritzed my shoes in the poodle.
I jumped over the poodle out the way here.
My lederhosen got empoodled.
You're allergic to Hank, Graham, and you're allergic to dogs,
but you can hang out with him for, you know.
I can hang out. Yeah, I can chill. a little bit longer than other dogs I think I think there's a
weird thing that uh because I'm also allergic to cats and if I'm on a train or something with
somebody that's like covered in cat hair that's enough for it to trigger and also I'm like come
on man you have one outdoor garment that goes over your other cat hair. Maybe they're depressed.
Yeah,
that's true.
But I think it's still,
I come home from work.
I'm wearing my overcoat.
I lie right down.
I fall face down on the ground.
My cats check to see if I'm dead so they can eat me.
I'm not.
How do they check?
Biting?
A little chomping.
Yeah.
A little chomping. you can find out if you
subscribe to my cat fact newsletter oh how many do you do a day i a day yeah two i just sent out
two newsletters a day one in the morning okay one in the afternoon just like yeah and that's
it's like most of the afternoon stuff is follow-ups on the earlier cat fact
like that earlier fact i said was wrong the saber-toothed tigers aren't around and
fred flintstone didn't really have one oh okay i thought that was true um what uh
question to both of you do either of you subscribe to any kind of newsletter slash substack
and do you
enjoy it at all? Because I do.
And I'm not sure I do.
I do.
And I usually don't read them.
Yeah. Like I have the intention to read
them. They're often really good.
I subscribe to a couple
social media
content creators that are really funny really good. I subscribe to a couple of social, social media, um,
content creators that are really funny and have like good advice. That's more like work related.
And I subscribe to Nico Stratus as a great sub stack.
And she writes really great.
Yeah.
But I don't get to like, never subscribed to the nico case one and
i don't read it are you you're exclusively nico's oh that's true the only two i really want to read
are nico's uh but yeah and i think like what people want to read mine if i wrote it one and
what would it be and i'm like dog facts twice a day facts absolutely one dog fact per newsletter
than a bunch of other stuff it's actually very funny i could do that yeah that would be great i am god i have good ideas he does
it's true i subscribe to past guests of the show auntie donahue's oh yes i do as well yeah and i
followed him on social media one of my favorite accounts and i also uh i have subscribed to
others and i feel like there's certain people i know that I'm like, oh, you're a funny person.
And I really like your Twitter.
And then I get your, your sub stack.
And I'm like, I don't enter.
I don't want to interact with you like this.
I don't.
I also don't want to interact with email like this.
I don't like.
Yes.
Have to like email always feels like homework to me.
I'm like,
I'm just trying to get these things marked as red.
Yes.
But then it also feels bad because I'm like,
how many people are like,
are subscribing to your sub stack?
And if I unsubscribe,
you're going to notice it.
Oh yeah.
That's the thing.
Do they know on their end?
They must get an email saying,
Dave,
unsubscribe.
I don't think so it's
probably confidential nah sub stack real loosey-goosey i like yeah there are a few things
that i don't like i i want to unsubscribe from but don't want to because it's not it's like the
patreons that i pay for and not that i'm not using i'm like oh i can yeah i can continue to afford to do this
over making someone feel bad yeah i've had a subscription to uh the globe and mail and i
called to cancel and they they're just going autopilot they're like please don't cancel we
can send it to you for two dollars a week please their eyes roll back in their head and then they're
taken over by the customer service bot um i uh yeah i guess i'm but i'm like i sign up for every
store i've ever bought anything from has my my email, and sends me stuff every morning.
And it's fun.
I wake up, I have 11 emails.
I am like only, I try to unsubscribe from most of them, but I kept ones that I do still buy from.
And Everlane sometimes sends two emails a day.
That's excessive.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But I'm waiting for a pair of jeans I like to go on sale or to get one of their 25% off codes.
They've changed the jean game.
Am I right?
Everlane has come out swinging.
I think they make really great jeans at an affordable price.
The green washing around it, I'm not 100% sure on how bad it is.
Oh, it's wonderful.
It's wonderful?
Okay, good.
I don't know.
The greenest wash in the world.
Yeah, I like their jeans. I think you have a pair of their jeans graham uh yeah i've got those jeans i've got some i have a pair of jeans that are called the freedom
fit are they just like a panel jean at the front like a maternity jean yeah are they a drawstring
because those are popular those easy jeans or easy pants and i did order a pair and i
lay look so bad on me oh yeah the uh do you remember years and years and years ago i was
thinking about this the other day that i was working on city tv and i had a clothes budget
and we went to i think the bay and a woman came in to like take clothes away or whatever she was a chinese
lady and she rubbed my belly and said very prosperous i don't remember that and yet when
i do it as a white guy you hate it i hate it yeah very prosperous now uh yeah i i'm wearing those uh like early 2000s christina
aguilera low-cut jeans oh you look good in those your pubic bone shows you can definitely see my
pubic bone pubis i think like the wasn't the big accessory to have like a chain with like i do have
a belly chain too yeah i'm still thinking about dave's venus mount
absolutely my mons are ever so pubis
the chain is so funny yeah it's coming it's gonna come back right yeah it's like
you don't need any accessories to get people to look at your
midriff when your pants are falling down it's pretty much
our eyes are drawn to it yeah and it was a real it was a real race to see who could get the pants
the lowest without going over was chris that was like the early 2000s did shania twain
blaze a trail for the midriff for the midriff sure yeah okay she popped on the scene but then
i don't know who came up with the low,
who was the first at the low, low rise jeans.
I know Shorty got low and she had those Apple bottom jeans.
I've told you that I worked for the distributor of Apple bottom jeans for Canada, right?
What?
It was a short-lived assistant brand manager role that I had at this company in Montreal that was on DeCary Boulevard, which is you do not want to work. It's basically a highway. I'm the ABM for ABJs.
Assistant Brand Manager for Apple Bottom Jeans.
Yeah, that was cool. And Sean John.
What was different about Apple Bottom Jeans?
Did they fit differently or was it all branding? It was like mostly branding,
but they definitely, like before it became more mainstream, really focused on a nice butt.
Now, did people prefer the Apple Bottom jeans with the boots with the fur because the whole club was looking at her?
Or did you find that they liked the Apple Bottom jeans and the Reebok with the strap and then they gave that big booty a slap?
Yeah, I think it was for Montreal, it was definitely the fur boots. they like the apple bottom jeans and the Reebok with the strap. And then they gave that big booty a slap. Yeah.
I think it was for Montreal is definitely the fur boots.
For sure.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But is there like,
is there a brand that it shapes your butt in a good way?
And if so,
why don't all jeans have that capability?
I want my,
I want my rump to look delicious,
and I don't feel like I've found the pant for that yet.
But maybe it's on me for not looking hard enough.
I don't know.
Have you tried yoga pants?
No, I haven't, actually.
I don't see a lot of Jensen yoga pants now that I think about it,
but they look comfortable whenever I see them.
Well, I remember when I was a kid, I used to uh michael jordan started wearing uh like spandex shorts underneath his basketball shorts
yes yes and i i asked my dad to get me something to wear under my soccer shorts
that's cool and my i was so skinny he couldn't find a pair that would fit my legs it was they
were still like they still like a hoop around them around my thighs.
Baggy tights is a look. I remember at the time, uh, Canadian cyclist, Kurt Harnett, uh, who was a, they did like, he did velodrome cycling in the Olympics and his, um, he had 30 inch thighs and my dad was like his thighs are bigger than your waist thanks dad
uh but i uh now that like basketball players they'll wear full like full length
tights underneath their shorts huh and i see kids at my kids school wearing them in the winter like
wearing shorts with just tights underneath.
Boys.
Hmm.
Well.
What's the advantage in sports, like for basketball?
Compression, compression.
Okay.
And also hiding, hiding your skin.
Dave, have you ever, you know this tape that you see like some athletes, the bands.
Do you think that does anything?
Beach volleyball.
Beach volleyball. There's a couple of wrestlers I know that have it. Tape where? you see like some athletes the bands do you think that does anything or volleyball beach volleyball
there's a couple wrestlers i know that have it um tape where like on like different your shoulder
oh like physio tape physio tape yeah i feel like old timey tape you'd be taping
uh you would be like a well you would have put a tensor bandage around. Yes, that's true. No, but the tape does work.
I'm sure.
Like, I've been taped.
Whoa.
Wow.
Check out these.
Blue collar comedy.
Graham just took off his hoodie and he's wearing a tank top.
Yeah.
I got to keep it nice and fresh here.
Okay.
I don't own a tank top.
No?
No. But you own a shirt and you own some scissors that's true
dave um people don't know that alicia tobin she's a real fashion plate she really you're like you've
got a good eye you put together a really nice outfit uh how many outfits ballpark do you think
you could get out of your wardrobe with With all the mix and match and combinations.
Oh, my God.
I don't know.
It's like a math problem.
I can tell you how many for my seven.
Seven outfits I could put together.
I don't know.
It depends on whether or not my laundry's done.
Right.
Yeah.
Mostly, I just wear jogging.
I forgot to wear my sweatshirt that said the queen is dead.
Oh, dang. Yes. We wear my sweatshirt that said the queen is dead. Oh, dang.
Yes.
We were going to get to that.
I've got so many good pranks waiting.
Well, I got a couple, you know, I'm keeping my eye on.
But you're better at it.
You're the queen of the queen is dead.
All right.
Okay.
Let's catch people up for anyone who's new.
This is a long running thing where Alicia, for anyone who's new this is a long-running uh thing where
alicia i think that's her name yeah kept just like uh getting graham to well i don't even get it
you're doing a really good job of explaining this where did it start was it i can tell the story
okay yeah yeah so you were traveling the day that the queen died.
Yeah.
Or that.
Yeah.
And all over Twitter and everywhere else in the world,
people were talking about it.
And in the way that I talk all the time,
I do something dumb.
And then you laugh.
I said,
Hey,
I've got something to tell you.
And you're like,
what?
And then I wrote back,
the queen is dead
and we just laughed and laughed and laughed and uh like and i don't know why you did you did you
wrote him that yeah it was just that's how it started how did you know that you both laughed
and laughed and laughed well oh yeah well he wrote lol and i wrote lol yeah uh and i was really loving dead queen uh twitter there's a lot of very
funny uh irish tweets about it and i i so i was just very like very delighted by the art that came
from this uh event and then i just started getting you again with it and again and again again and
again and you kept falling for it
and then i did the key prank which i think was when it really upped the ante that's when yeah
so the key prank was alicia texted me no called me didn't you no texted me and said that you
locked yourself out of your house with hank and you needed uh your. And then I was, as I was going down to the
lobby, I was talking to you on the phone and I saw that you were not outside the door at all.
And then you said, uh, I, Oh, I'm sorry. Uh, I just found out the queen died. And I was like,
Oh God damn it. You went so far. I totally fell for it.
And like Dave, like a lot of thought goes into this, but it happens very quickly.
Um, and catching Graham has been harder. And my only rule is I can't involve someone else And like Dave, like a lot of thought goes into this, but it happens very quickly.
And catching Graham has been harder.
And my only rule is I can't involve someone else in the prank.
You can't?
No.
So I couldn't like get Graham's special friend to help me or, you know, and no one else can prank me.
No one can prank me. Like Graham's mom sent me a card that said the queen is dead.
And I was like, nope, doesn't count.
And I said some listeners.
You know what?
A woman has to live by a code.
Yeah, that's true.
So the next one I think was the sweatshirt at the ice cream store.
Yeah.
And then the third one was I got you a soap dish because you complained about your soap
uh always melting your shampoo bar and so i have this great joseph and joseph joseph's
uh draining soap thing and on the inside i wrote a note that said the queen is dead
so the graham you use a shampoo bar i I do, yeah. That's foobar.
Yeah, I like it.
And you got no bottle you got to toss at the end.
Do you use it on your beard as well?
I have done.
I've gone the whole face.
Do you ever do that when you put so much shampoo in your hair that you just go blind in the shower for a while?
You just keep your eyes closed and you're glad to do to do its thing no that happens to me some of the time
well most of your head is hair like your whole head like the mustache the beard
yeah i do and you gotta keep it you know what you gotta keep it clean you gotta keep it uh
in my case trimmed not so much but uh you gotta yeah you gotta treat it right or it's gonna turn
against you you know um i should say that this queen prank that alicia did on her sweatshirt
she ruined that sweatshirt i wear it all the time do you really yeah all the time
yeah it was a real commitment and so i'm still i'm still uh cagey i still on the lookout for
and are more coming alicia what can we expect in the next year yeah i've got like three really
solid ones planned but i'm you've got okay but so you're okay like i have this are you waiting
for the right circumstances yeah absolutely take off your headphones alicia's gonna tell me all three
okay do you want to tell tell him one i'll take my headphones he'll never listen i'll do i can
text them to you actually okay well no but the listeners need to know but then he he can listen
back and then i can't get him i won't i promise i promise you promise okay yeah yeah and listeners
you promise you don't tell Graham.
Yeah.
That's the deal.
Okay.
I'm taking out my headphones.
This is an amazing bit of podcasting we're about to witness.
Give me the thumbs up when you've told them that I could put my headphones back on.
Okay.
Okay.
Here we go.
Headphones off.
He's taking his shirt off too.
Oh gosh.
Oh my God.
What's happening?
Oh my God.
He's deformed.
Dave.
Okay.
So number one, I have to get invited over to-
Just tell me one.
Oh, you just want to get no one?
Yeah, like I told the listeners not to tell Graham, I don't trust all the listeners.
Okay, well, I almost got it tattooed for this podcast.
Oh my.
On my arm to show you guys my new tattoo.
So that will be the, if I decide to do that one i haven't
decided yeah that's a that's a big commitment but there is one that i think you would really like
well now you've okay do you want to share it yeah but the listeners can't tell him okay but what
about the tattoo can they tell him that no listeners can't you can't tell him anything
should we just leave it at one?
Well, you really want to tell me that other one.
Okay.
So, you know the ice cream place?
Yeah.
I'm going to go there before we go for ice cream and pay them $20 to suggest the new flavor, the Queen is Dead.
You can't involve other people though.
No, not friends.
Like.
Oh, okay.
Like I can't have an accomplished accomplished an accomplice they also
have there's like um there's a few places in the neighborhood that have like a sand a chalk
sandwich board and you could maybe do it on that yeah but i think you can bring your own shot
involve more and i'd have to have a bigger discussion no you wouldn't you would just
walk by when no one's paying
attention and do it okay yeah that's not bad i like it you tried to get me we can get graham back
on graham okay he's okay graham oh my god when he gets in the zone he's got tunnel vision when
he looks at his phone you know when he gets in the zone and he looks at his phone here we go turn it
back up i heard nothing i want you to know that i officially took out my headphones and also
turned down the volume all the way and our listeners agreed not to tell you and you agree
not to listen back i agree you two you guys tried to prank me right what's that yeah i did yeah did
did you graham know that you're gonna do that do what prank me try to get me to say the queen is dead no because i gave you like i had we had
borrowed something from you and i was giving it back to you and i there was also a 20 bill in the
package i was giving to you and that's why i knew it was not and i had a picture of the queen saying and saying, oi, I'm dead. In it. But she... Dead in it.
And it wasn't real.
It was...
My kids have some play money.
Nice.
But now we have to get it all replaced with King Charles play money.
Oh, boy.
What kind of look do you think he's going to have?
Is he going to be wearing the crown on the money?
Is he going to be wearing his kind of military style button up uh kind of
official jacket is he going to just be leaning on the back of a chair i'll give you the 411 on
some money what if he does like a basic instinct oh yeah like a white dress it could be like a
hologram that you push back and forth and it's oh Oh, yeah. That would be good. I like how money is getting like more kind of, you know, technological features.
It's funny because I feel like all over the world that's become the thing is weird plastic hologram money.
But America is still like, nope, classic, classic money.
Yeah.
Across the board. We're not going like, nope, classic, classic money. Yeah. Across the board.
We're not going to play.
Linen and hemp for me.
You know,
our forefathers grew hemp.
That's true.
Yeah.
And what do you think they were doing with it?
Yeah.
Making rope.
Okay.
Yeah.
Making a shirt.
Is the process of growing hemp different than growing marijuana that you smoke?
Are they the exact same thing? And you just, you get one, you get the other?
I think you'll find that they're not.
They're not.
Okay.
Okay.
Good to know.
Excellent.
If you really want, look, I've got, you know how I keep my joints warm.
That's right.
Do you remember?
Yeah, you get your hair cut, so.
Yeah, little balls of fur everywhere.
No, doobie of it.
Oh, yes.
That's right. Doobie oven oh yes that's right
doobie oven i forgot i'm sorry um the uh now alicia last time you were on our show i believe
you were hosting a podcast called the retail nightmare makers yes that is the correct title
and in the meantime you decided to move on from that show how how's it been how's it been in the meantime, you decided to move on from that show. How has it been?
How has it been in the post-podcast making world?
You know, I have really enjoyed the break.
I could see myself doing another podcast maybe,
but it's been really a nice break.
I think one of the things that I've, I mean,
I'll always miss hanging out with Jessica every week, but i don't miss uh talking about myself every week and like and like i don't know
it's been an it's been good um good yeah we had i think we were doing it for seven years
that's incredible that's honestly that's amazing when you consider how many podcasts get to episodes
three and four and then it becomes a real strike to get that fifth episode out
yeah it was really fun and like when it wasn't fun we ended it so that's just smart smart yeah
um well i'm uh you know i miss it i was a big listener. Yeah, thanks, Dave.
You're the only person that's taken my place as a host, too.
Yep.
Although I was never invited on as a guest.
No, I went once with Graham.
Yeah.
That's right.
And was it like an anniversary episode or something like that?
Yeah, it was our anniversary.
Yeah.
Which we like to celebrate in a different way every year. Yeah, we like to go on other people's podcasts and renew our vows.
That's right, that's how we keep things spicy. We have an open podcast relationship
so we play Who Let the Dogs Out.
Folly podcast.
Do you guys think the Baja men have another
hit song in them?
Who let the dogs out?
Is there a chance that they've been sitting on a gym?
Yeah.
Do you think something like that just sets people up for life?
Money-wise?
I think there is a documentary.
A guy I used to work with made a documentary about that song.
Really?
About who let the dogs out?
Yeah.
Any good? No, that's a documentary oh it's great but like i haven't watched it i feel like sir mix a lot has been able to have
an entire career based on that one song yeah which song uh oh uh who let the butts out what's his song who let the dogs out of my butt right
but like he that song's been used in so many commercials and uh sampled sampled and i think
he's like had that phone line for a while 1-800 makes a lot, he was in that Macklemore video about going downtown. Yes.
Yeah. And he lives in Seattle.
And
what is his name? Not Bismarck.
He makes a lot.
Sorry. Is he going to be on our money?
Sir makes a lot.
Wow, you really lost your train of thought fast.
That name we said five
times? Yeah, I forgot what that was.
Does he even mix? i don't even know is that a stupid question was he djing and rapping that's a talent to be able to do both because back in the 90s you had to have like a fresh
prince and a dj jazzy jav yeah but if you could do both get you a rapper get you a sir who can do both um what would you say
is your favorite novelty song considering like that it's kind of a novelty song it's kind of
like a funny silly um you know like earworm kind of song but like is you know is kind of like silly
do you have anything like that where it's where it's almost
embarrassing to admit that kind of uh well like i don't know is cotton i joe a novelty song yes
i like the dominic the donkey one oh yeah christmas donkey yeah that one i think every Oh, yeah. The Italian Christmas donkey. Yeah. That one, I think, every time I hear it, I cheer up a bit.
Yeah.
Yee-haw, yee-haw.
Yeah.
It's so funny.
It is funny.
That song is a thing.
And there should be more songs like that.
More donkey songs, please.
Yeah.
More donkey songs.
More donkey conk.
More bonky bonk.
Uh-oh.
Alicia's brain is broken.
Have you heard that song that is now they're just doing
um they've redone i'm blue about a b yes yeah i haven't oh well it's baby rexa and uh david
get up maybe yeah calvin harris one of the one of the djs with a uh without a dj name just yeah just with a human name and it's uh i'm good yeah
i'm feeling all right baby i'm gonna have the best freaking night of my life yeah and it's
sample it's i never growing up if uh if i was asked what would have gotten sampled i wouldn't
have thought that in a million years i wouldn't have thought i would have thought Lubega would be something that would get sampled.
Still time.
Bye-bye.
Have you seen Adam Christie's joke about that song?
About finding out that Lubega fucked all your sisters?
Yeah.
I had seven sisters.
Monica, Rita, name them all.
That's a really good joke. show yeah mine's the Monster Mash
Monster Mash is my favorite
I love that song
I listen to it outside of Halloween
I just enjoy the beat
I like the chain sounds in it
speaking of novelty songs
last week I talked about going to the doctor
and I asked if Graham knew what he said and he said,
I changed my mind.
That's my favorite.
I love that song.
Yeah, I guess so.
I'm a big one-eyed, one-horned, flying purple people eater guy.
Nice.
I mean, people say that Johnny Cash's A Boy Named Sue is a novelty.
But I think it's just a regular song.
I like that Jesus song, too, that I got a friend named Jesus.
I don't know this one.
I got a friend named Jesus.
Spirit in the Sky?
Spirit in the Sky.
I don't think of that as a novelty song. No? I think it just slaps. I've got a friend in Jesus. Spirit in the Sky? I don't think of that as a novelty song.
No? I think it just slaps.
I kind of do. It does slap.
What's the one that names all the
fast food restaurants?
McDonald's,
McDonald's, Kentucky Fried Chicken
and a Pizza Hut.
I do not know this song.
I'm hungry now.
If you could choose between those three restaurants, what would you get?
Can you repeat the question?
McDonald's, McDonald's, Kentucky Fried Chicken and a Pizza Hut.
McDonald's for sure.
Pizza Hut, no doubt.
McDonald's.
I think there's still one dining room Pizza Hut restaurant left in the city.
And I feel like I should go there soon because
it's got it's got to be closing at some point right if it hasn't already that's like it's on
borrowed time i can't even imagine where that would be it's on like an industrial road i know
that like you had to walk very narrow sidewalks through the rail yards you have to have a show of your union card at the door um the the tiki bar on main street is i don't know if they're closing but they're selling it
do you want to buy a tiki bar well we should go and have a tiki drink oh that sounds and also to
you know see if we want to buy the tiki bar yeah that's yeah that's right let's do a little
we'll do a little recon dav Dave and Graham's tiki bar.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
It's got a nice ring.
Sounds pretty good, actually.
And if there's any business
that's surefire
as a constant and easy business,
it's the restaurant industry.
Sure.
Alicia, have you ever had an idea
of maybe like,
I feel like everybody has an idea of a bar or a
restaurant they would yeah yeah i've got it all set up okay go for it here yeah okay so it would
be like a diner remember pronto on canby street i do an italian uh kind of casual restaurant i
really like the interior of that place because it had like a sort of uh a diner feel i would have a diner it would have a
daily special um we would start we would also have like a big breakfast menu um and one or two
breakfast items we served all day um i had classics like roast chicken and mashed potatoes
shepherd's pie um homemade uh baked goods and always a meal that was super affordable so people that were
you know experiencing uh some tight tighter times could come in and eat as well as a meal
that someone who didn't have any money could come in and eat so with those meals would they be
constant like it's always the hamburger or is it every day this is our
cheaper option they could have an every day there would always be like a vegetarian and
non-vegetarian option that we made every day and then like a special like a daily special they
could also have that's amazing wouldn't feel like left out and they could just come in and have like
a nice meal and a nice environment and feel taken care of that would be like my dream to have a place like that
do you know what my restaurant idea is what dave well in the front it's like a non-alcoholic bar
so there's like just milk milk uh lemonade i knew it i knew it and in the back, it's sort of like a dessert bar. Right.
Is that where chocolate's made?
I don't know if chocolate as a whole
certainly fudge.
I know the name of it.
What is it?
Milk Milk Lemonade.
Okay.
What would you call your place, Alicia?
I would just call your place alicia well oh okay i would just call it leashes
leashes oh she's diner is that a nickname people have for you back in the day oh but not anymore
you've you've said goodbye to leashy yeah because she was little leashy right back in the day? Oh, back in those comic books.
Yeah.
Leashy and Hotfoot.
Casper.
Oh, man.
Yeah.
Of those, I just love that there were like entire volumes of stuff that was like, it's just nice.
Like it's a totally defining feature.
It's not funny.
It's not sad.
The drawings aren't great, but it's nice. You can have a nice time reading about Casper. Yeah, it's not funny it's not sad the drawings aren't great but it's nice you can have a nice
time reading it's colorful yeah but sometimes one of the pages is miscolored and you're like
oh something went wrong in the printing press graham what would your restaurant be um uh
i i don't know i think there's different uh movies and stuff that I've seen where I'm like,
this could be,
this could be a theme or restaurant,
something like the,
you know,
great Muppet caper or something like that.
You would have a theme restaurant.
Yeah.
I'd have a theme restaurant for sure.
It would be,
I don't know if it'd be Muppets based or it's probably hard to get the
rights because Disney owns it.
But like,
what's a,
maybe I do a Casper,
the friendly ghost and the harvey yeah or is there like a restaurant from a movie or
that you would try to replicate what about like i know what it would be which one uh the restaurant
uh in casino where his car blows up outside every day at a certain time every day a car blows up
robert de niiro rolls out.
Yeah, there's a young actor that plays Robert De Niro.
Yeah, the guy in a weird...
Great suits in that movie.
What would you call it?
My themed restaurant?
Casino restaurant, yeah.
Casino, oh.
I'm trying to think of...
Oh, the last line in the movie is,
and that's it.
So I'd call it.
And that's it. And everybody had to be like,
I'll be like,
well,
watch the whole movie.
And,
uh,
there's a lot of,
uh,
racial slangs or slurs in it that,
uh,
racial slangs.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Yikes.
Uh,
also the, the restaurant from Pulp F pulp fiction i feel like that is a restaurant
would want to yeah cars in it and all that shit i think of it as a restaurant from scooby snacks by
that band that did the song scooby snacks yeah what the hell were their name animal
crackers something like that definitely weren't gagita, but they were like Gagita.
Fun Loving Criminals.
They were Fun Loving Criminals.
Is that a novelty song?
You know it in a big way.
Did either of you guys
see the video
of all the like
actors from the 90s
singing
Let It Be?
That's come up,
like it comes up
every few months.
Does it?
I saw it for the first time a couple
of weeks ago yeah same here and one of the one of the you know it was like celebrities that range
from like jason alexander to d snyder and huey lewis and then there were the the rednecks who
wrote and performed cotton eye joe oh really and i thought, wow, they're included in this pageant of stars.
It's a get for them.
They win big.
But they're dressed like hillbillies.
Well, they are rednecks.
Well, do you want to take a brief break and talk about Max Fun Drive?
Okay, Alicia, sit down.
Take it easy.
We've got a little bit of business to attend to
just uh we'll be done in a second and then we'll be back to all our hilarious japes
yeah vroom vroom vroom do you hear that car going vroom vroom is it part of some kind of drive
hmm can you room it one more time vroom do you smell it it's burning oil oh man quarter mile what is that that car
it's a ford max fun drive yep it's from ford uh we weren't affiliated but now that's the big
announcement maximum fun as has been acquired by ford and the podcast will come standard on uh you know every ford escape
you won't get a radio anymore you will just get back fun bonus yeah you'll get you'll try to
turn and also the um uh the gps will be ross and carrie nice nice yeah um So, if you didn't know, now you know that it's Max Fun Drive.
So, get up.
Get up and get excited.
Here's what Max Fun Drive is, if you don't know.
It's the two weeks a year when we make a point of asking you out there to support the show.
Yeah.
Obviously, we get our best guests, some of our fan favorites, and our personal favorites.
Yeah.
And we're doing this, you know, like a Jerry Lewis telethon, only we're not helping anybody.
We keep all the money.
Yeah.
And also, our show believes women are funny.
Yes, that's right.
Yeah.
And we'll stand by that now
what uh what you may not know is our show is completely supported by our listeners you don't
hear us doing commercials for some skeezy uh uh ball shaving device ball shaving device or the
ford motor company these are well yeah you'll never hear. Well, yeah, you'll never hear us mention them here.
You don't hear us talking about debt consolidation.
That's right.
And the reason for that is because we decided, hey, our listeners love us.
Yeah.
I bet our listeners would support us.
And they do.
And if you would like to do that as well,
we encourage you now to type in these 35 magical digits.
W-W-W.
That's three right there.
That's three.
Does the dot count as one?
No, dot doesn't count.
Okay, no.
No, I think 35 is high.
Go to MaximumFun.org slash join.
Yeah.
Here's how it works.
You go there.
You click on the show you want to support.
You click how much you want to give every month.
Yeah.
And that money is spread between the shows that you choose.
We share it equally.
And a lot of people don't know is we stand at a certain place
and somebody throws a duffel bag off of a bridge,
and that's how we get the money that you've been able to scratch up for us
in this here podcast.
Yeah, we don't know who's dropping the money.
The duffel bag is really bad.
It's made of um what are coffee
bean bags made out of oh burlap yeah yeah it's a burlap but it's got a it's got a strap to it so
you can bring it to the gym yeah um but yeah this is this is the time of year and if you
are somebody that is interested in joining up, uh, we have special prizes that we're becoming.
There's benefits.
Yeah.
We'll be telling you,
we'll be telling you all about that.
But if you,
uh,
join at any level,
you'll get a bonus content.
And we have been pumping out the bonus content for the last few years.
And if you,
if you're just joining now
oh you're in for it you've got hours and hours of just me and graham talking about our favorite
things about guns and roses watching every episode of mr bean and you know what actually
right today as we're doing this we're gonna do a mr bean one this afternoon we're doing mr bean episode 10 right after this um but uh yeah what you can do is
you can join that's for you you can upgrade from five dollars a month to ten dollars ten to twenty
twenty to thirty five yeah uh the the higher you go the more benefits there are uh you can boost your membership yeah you can buy a gift membership
for a friend or for an or for an anonymous max funster and i just want uh anyone who's out there
who feels like they um they've reached rock bottom they can join max funster's anonymous
yeah that's right it's a 12-step program.
And you do have to acknowledge a higher power.
It is, you know, Dip Dobson.
Yeah.
What is it?
Chip Dipson, I think.
Yeah.
But yeah, this is a
we very, very much appreciate
all the people who
join on our members of uh maximum fun and you know
what we say like if you if you don't have the scratch and uh nobody gifted you um a subscription
it's on the house man these these uh podcasts are sitting out there for your enjoyment i mean if you
want that bonus content i'll tell you yeah well that Yeah, well, that's something you got to dig deep for.
But we make the show for a large audience for free.
Yeah.
And if you can't afford to support us this year, we understand.
But we'll be back next year to ask again.
So you think you can get off scot-free?
We'll see. we'll see we'll see but uh in the
meantime head over to maximumfun.org join and now do we want to get to know me yes dave what's going
on with you man oh man let me tell you man um the uh thing that's going on with me is well uh last week i told everyone about the uh record the
von meter record that i left on your windshield yes uh and then yesterday and you and i sent you
a picture of it and you laughed because you you were out of town uh and then you told me
this morning that you just took it off yeah these days later yeah like and for people who didn't
hear the last episode,
Von Meter was famous for doing a JFK impression and his album won the Grammy
of the year it was out.
And album of the year,
not comedy album,
album.
And then,
yeah,
Dave found it,
put it in the windshield wiper.
And then when I walked,
I went out last night,
I was like,
Oh,
I wonder if,
I wonder if it's still there
and it was was it turned to pulp it was uh you know when you'd like accidentally
drop like a book in the tub or something like that it was like that crazy wavy
uh yeah it was pretty oh i have a project on the go right now where we made photocopies of our passports because we're going away.
Oh, yeah.
But I had one photocopy too many and I didn't want to like throw it in the recycling because it's my passport.
That's true.
So it's in the sink in the other room.
I'm just like pulping some paper.
Yeah.
I've done that.
I've done that because I don't have a shredder.
So, yeah, I pulp.
Yeah.
You know, what does Elaine Yeah. Well, you know,
I,
what does Elaine say?
Oh yeah.
I,
uh,
I can't remember.
I see.
I shred and I pulp.
It was like that.
Um,
when I long time ago,
I lived with Sean Pratt.
We burnt all our stuff.
My parents still do.
They've got a fireplace.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Everything that old tax information into the fire i loved it i loved the fireplace when i was a kid and how like you burn a milk carton and
in your house yeah in the fireplace you can't burn a milk carton you do in 1984 i probably wasn't setting fires when i was
three uh but in 1989 you do and fire just well i mean the milk carton is perfect because it's
a little chimney uh you leave this and i would like position everything so it would burn cool
but then you burn uh a milk carton and it's got like
the picture of the cow on it and it slowly melts it doesn't melt but it like goes to like um
negative like uh like a true crime story everything was going right for this cow until it wasn't.
Um,
okay.
So here's what's going on with me.
I,
uh, saw this,
uh,
this video on Instagram.
That was a guy making a,
uh,
he combined,
he was like,
oh,
I heard that if you combine,
uh,
screwballs brand peanut whiskey with, with uh dr pepper uh strawberries and cream
whoa okay if you combine them together it tastes like a chocolate covered strawberry
and uh i was like oh that sounds fun and he had had the screwballs, the peanut, I think it's peanut butter whiskey, comes in a tiny little can.
And I was like, oh, yeah, I would try that.
Let's see if I can find one of the little cans.
No, you cannot.
And so I went searching for, I've never heard of peanut butter whiskey before.
No.
I mean, he was my favorite blues player when I was a kid.
Oh, yeah.
Boy, he could wail So I started looking up
This peanut butter whiskey
And I couldn't find it in little cans
I could only find it in $60 bottles
Jeez
And I was like I'm not gonna
I'm not that curious about this thing
It's supposed to be good
I'm looking at the branding On their website and it definitely doesn't look Like it's supposed to be good i'm looking at the uh branding on
their website and it's definitely doesn't look like it's for people that want a good whiskey
um yeah i think it's a party drink yeah well i'm a party dude you are a party dude but uh so i went
searching high and low for this uh i found it in the 60 bottles and i was like no sir
uh not for me sir i kind of looked
for alternatives are there any other peanut butter whiskeys and there's one called revel
there's one called revel stoke that you can get about i think it was like 25 for a bottle okay
and i was like okay i'll i'll i'll try to find this And it was only available on commercial drive. Okay. And I realized I hadn't been to commercial drive for like a fun day of errands since before the pandemic.
Yeah.
And there's a lot going on down there.
There's all sorts of new stuff.
It was great.
I went.
So I went and I just had a wonderful little day.
This isn't like an exciting story.
It's sort of like, you know, a Harvey comic.
It's just nice.
It's just nice.
Yeah.
And that was yesterday.
Alicia was texting me because you were walking down.
You were on Kingsway, which is also a road that I don't spend enough time on.
But I like it.
I like that.
It's like a fun.
There's different shops and different
restaurants and definitely some fronts and uh that's where your groomer was right is that where
while you're walking down on the king's way i don't know what i the word groomer is used
so differently from the way yeah and like i find it like such a uh a crate like a tough word to hear because of the people that
are always talking about it but yes my uh groomer is the person who grooms my dog oh that's worse
yeah yeah it's called drake's um please yeah she's located near kind of in between fraser
and kingsway and knight and kingsway and so when'm there, I have a whole like ritual thing that I do because it's close to my old
neighborhood.
So,
but,
um,
like you pick up your favorite thing from this place or yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Visit like my favorite people that work in stores around there.
And there's like a beautiful furniture store.
And then there's the place where I get my haircut.
It's called Bitcoin haircutcuts why are we telling
everyone every place you go i was getting to a joke but then you thought you just talked over
it i'll edit myself too late no forget it no yeah so anything else on commercial drive yes okay so
here's what i did it was like just it was a divine day, guys. I drove over there.
I parked my car.
I found the perfect parking spot.
Nice.
Right in front of La Grotta del Formaggio.
I was just going to say, did you go to La Grotta?
I hadn't been there.
It's for people not from around here.
It's like a cheese shop, an Italian grocery place.
And they make sandwiches. And someone was saying like, oh, they do it just like Subway.
Which I think they meant like
you know, they stand at the counter and you tell them what you want on it.
No, but also, you know, same quality ingredients, shaved lettuce
and whatnot. And it was so, I was so excited.
They've updated it since i was last
in there they have like a real sandwich counter set up now nice uh and they can have like two
sandwiches on the go at the same time uh and i went there and i bought i was like i'm eating
this for lunch today and tomorrow i would like two sandwiches, please. Yeah. Hell yeah. That's so smart.
Yeah.
And then I went next door to the bakery and I got a bunch of baked goods.
Nice.
Delicious.
Then I picked up my peanut butter, whatever it was, whiskey.
Oh yeah, right.
I forgot this was the genesis of this.
Yes. And then I brought it home and i i had no
trouble tracking down the dr pepper the strawberries and cream dr pepper yeah oh gross and i combined
the two of them no it doesn't taste like that maybe i uh maybe i'm wrong maybe i should have
held out for the the proper whiskey but it just tastes weird weird and you got influenced i mean
definitely it's i'm like i'm very i'm just gonna say influential but uh the opposite you're very
influenced yeah i'm very um gullible yeah i mean we all are especially when we see something that you're like this is exactly
what i want and this person is saying they have it but they probably want is a drink that tastes
like a chocolate covered strawberry a thing i've eaten twice that i remember i guess you could
probably do it with nestle quick you probably do a little yeah you could probably do that if you
take a strawberry and covered it in chocolate and then got drunk later.
And I got drunk later that night.
But I still have one more can of the Dr. Pepper, so I might try it again.
Yeah, and you could also just host like a fun PB&J night.
You make the sandwiches and have the, I don't know what the closest alcohol that tastes like jelly is.
Jelly? Oh.
Like a schnapps?
Strawberry ripple?
Strawberry ripple. Yeah, that's it.
But the peanut butter whiskey was, I don't know if it was peanut buttery, but there's something to it.
I don't know how they cook it.
I don't know how they cook it either.
Yeah, they cook it.
I had to do some research about peanuts and you guys have both heard of George Washington Carver,
right? Yeah.
He like,
then they say that he invented 300 uses for the peanut.
Like some of the uses are hysterical.
Yeah.
You can put one up your nose and blow it out the other nostril.
Or your parents might have to take you to the doctor.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's right.
It could be also used as a poison.
298.
What are the, what are some of them?
Oh, like, you know, it could be used instead of axle grease and.
Wow.
It could be used as a furniture polish.
Like, there's all sorts of like stuff, like theoretically you could use it as this.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, I have seen like people like using, don't know if peanuts but other nuts to like
if they have a scratch in their wood floor yeah this is this is if somebody out there wants to
be an influencer do a video on each yeah yeah on each of the peanut uses I'm the nut guy I'm the guy who nuts
yeah 300 peanut uses
George we gotta come up with a name
for this
George Washington
we can do this as a bonus content
but you're allergic
I feel like a lot of this would fall on me
I can read about it yeah
but then i gotta make the videos for our tiktok account oh yeah that's right i forgot this is
videos george washington blogger alicia are you looking up what peanut inventions george
washington carver has found i'm just looking at uh generally what are the benefits of peanuts and
i really immediately it's like i don't think these are true the first one is prevents prevents cancer oh yeah yeah uh that seems unlikely
uh prevents gallstones fights anxiety and depression oh that's yeah i mean prevents
diabetes helps during pregnancy how does it go to the store for you uh big sea of a casserole good for children not all
clearly that's true not all children prevents alzheimer's like this is a food that most people
eat yeah daily and this goes between nougat and caramel in a snickers oh my gosh it's a good bar
what is your favorite you guys because i don't have one of course. What is your favorite, you guys, because I don't have one, of course, but what is your favorite, favorite peanut, including either food, junk food,
anything under the sun?
You know for me, it's peanut butter whiskey.
That's right.
I know Alicia's.
What?
A Snickers and a peanut buster parfait.
Oh, shit.
I forgot about the parfait.
So I would say the parfait for sure.
And then the Purdy's peanut butter fingers.
Okay.
They have the peanut egg is out again too, which is excellent.
But I think the ratio of peanut butter and the peanut butter chocolate bar they make is better.
Yeah.
For me, it's like the Reese's peanut butter and the peanut butter chocolate bar they make is better. Yeah. I, for me,
it's like the Reese's peanut butter Christmas tree or the Reese's peanut
butter egg are good.
Are they different than the regular cups or is it just fine?
There's a good.
It's a chocolate ratio.
Yeah.
The ratio.
It's all about the ratio.
It's getting ratioed on here.
Dragged.
It's getting dragged.
Absolutely. And then also the wonder bar chocolate
bar oh yeah that one is such a good one that one has a bit of gluten in it so i can't have it
anymore but it's my favorite i like when you bite into it how the caramel everything compresses and
it's also like trying it trying the halloween fun-sized ones. It's a completely different experience.
There's like a snap to it.
Yeah.
So, sorry, Graham.
I don't know why we did that.
Alicia, can you eat an O'Henry?
Is that got gluten in it or is that?
I can't remember.
I think it might.
And Graham, what's your favorite non-peanut food?
Like junk food?
No, anything.
Well, I'm going to stick with junk food.
I'm going to say I really like what's one of the top of the pops for me is Milk Duds.
Love Milk Duds.
If I see them for sale somewhere, I can't not buy them.
Yeah, you see them for sale in the freaking bargain bin because no one's buying them, dude.
I like them.
I like them.
What's inside a Milk Dud? It's a weird one because we sell, dude. I like them. I like them. And, uh,
it's a weird one.
Cause we sell it and the front and the back of my restaurant.
Um,
yeah,
it's like a,
it's like a caramelly kind of thing.
Oh,
I was thinking of like a Whopper.
Oh,
no,
no.
Yeah.
I like Whoppers. Uh, no, it's like a i like whoppers uh no it's like a like a real chew
like it's something you shouldn't somebody with as much dental work as i have uh should not be
chewing on a milk even recreation you want you paid for those teeth use them yeah that's true
i have them why not use them they're not gonna live forever well they're gonna live longer than i am i suppose yeah um uh so you had you had a good i had a great little day of errands uh things are going great
you might go back get more sandwiches later um loving sandwiches oh they're just in love with
life what's going on with you graham oh i uh last week i traveled to calgary alberta
the town of my birth and while waiting up a statue yeah they were putting up a statue
uh it's crazy it's nude i don't remember posing for it but i think they they took some liberties
and uh it's already made now i can't uh all i can do is show up every day and put a diaper on the statue.
What did the person say when they rubbed your belly?
Very prosperous.
Are there big rub marks on it already?
Yeah.
Like there's a there's a I feel like there's a statue of Juliet in Verona maybe.
And the boobs are like totally polished.
Like so many people rub the boobs.
People suck.
But I was, I was waiting in line to go.
Here's the thing that you may not know.
And I feel like this is a hack everybody in Canada can use.
Is you can reserve
a spot in line to get your go through security so like if you're there at the airport you're like
7 p.m they put you to the head of the line because that's you you have to pay for this
nope oh it's just if you are flying i don't know when you're going away you're flying air canada
because it might work for you guys um i don't know i have kids and so they just let us through where like people are
very uh like oh damn let this this guy's got kids yeah yeah yeah let this guy through also
his wife does too he's not alone he's carrying two sandwiches with him. They're very drippy. I hope I don't have to like pour out the liquid.
Your 100 ml.
Yeah, exactly.
So waiting in line, YVR Airport, domestic, WestJet flight 126.
Okay.
Wow.
You got a memorandum.
The waiting in line is you always hope for some entertainment or at
least somebody that has an interesting t-shirt to look at or something just to occupy your mind for
a couple seconds and boy did i get a show i think this is my favorite thing that i've ever seen at
airport security it was it was like it was like tony and tina's wedding like it's like it seemed
like something we're like well this that can't actually be happening now.
This is part of the show.
This isn't a guy.
This guy's part of the show.
Yeah.
So a woman, to kind of set the scene, you know the hat Lady Gaga wore in the House of
Gucci promotional materials?
Okay.
A woman's wearing that kind of hat a circular fur kind of hat but all
white yes and she is dressed head to toe in white she's wearing like a very like she's very well put
together nice blouse coat pants and then cool uh all white all white uh boots and she was probably
in her 60s i want to say and she ducked under one of the ropes that you're not
supposed to duck under was she's cutting in line or was absolutely oh she went under the ropes and
then went under the ropes again and just walked by everybody and say my flight leaves in six
minutes my flight leaves in six minutes and everybody was like yeah i guess i guess we'll
let you get to the front.
And she got all the way to the front.
And the security guys didn't know what to do with her.
They were like, well, she's not really breaking any laws or anything. And then she handed her boarding pass to the guy.
And she said, my flight leaves in six minutes.
And he's like, boards in six minutes or leaves in six minutes?
She was like, leaves.
And he was like, the eyeballs out of his head were incredible you're not getting on that flight like she made it to 60 something
and she doesn't understand and yeah i know some people who've made it past that and don't
understand the difference also like uh i feel like she was like a Bluth,
that kind of scenario where this was her first time flying commercial
and didn't know how this stuff works.
Did she make her flight?
Well, here's the thing.
I'm also like, you might as well go.
Who knows if the flight is leaving on time?
That's right.
Yeah, you might as well try it.
Thank you. She went all the way to the front. Like, the guy was like, okay, I'll let you through. go who knows if the flight is leaving on time that's right yeah might as well try it thank you
um she but she went all the front like the guy was like okay i'll let you through but then she
went to the front of the actual where you're putting stuff in bins and he was like no no you
can't go to the front of this i will kick you all the way to the back of the line so she had to go
wait in line tick tick tick you know she's going through uh regular security and so i was like man what a what a
fantastic tableau this has been and then uh-oh her put-upon husband he comes into the he comes
into the roof my place leaving in four minutes he he tries to go under the rope and it catches
on his head so he's being pulled backwards as he's trying to, it's basically,
he's trying to limbo under the rope and the ropes caught on his head.
And he's wearing like a,
a kind of,
uh,
he kind of looks like,
uh,
Mr.
Howell or something like that from like,
he's got like a fancy jacket on and he has like one of those Greek hats,
you know,
like George R.
Martin wears all the time.
Okay.
And, uh, so he's trying to shuffle through and he's with her.
It turns out he's with her.
That's what I said when Hillary was running.
He's with her.
Yeah, he's with her.
I can't vote.
I'm Canadian.
I said check the emails.
Yeah, I said what about her emails?
So lock her up he goes he tries to go to the front of line the guy tells him no you have to stand in line
at the the bin place and then she's got through at this point and i see her in the distant she
has left him out to dry she is she's vanished she's left him uh out there and uh i don't know man i didn't see them
anywhere else in the airport so maybe they caught that six minute flight maybe they got lucky
because uh you would know you would know if you saw these people they're distinct looking couple
i have a problem my i whenever i am going through security and we have to use the bins i'm always
like don't say Osama bin Laden.
Don't say it.
You want to. Do you have like repetitive kind of fears around like flying like that where
you're afraid you'll say something dumb or.
I say something dumb every day.
It keeps me young.
So I've got a podcast.
Yeah.
Something episode.
People are paying for material.
But no,
not really.
These are jokes. Yeah. Why paying for. No shortage of material. But no, not really. These are jokes.
Yeah.
Why, do you?
No, but I have been on a plane with somebody who has said, like, dumb things.
There was a kid behind me on the flight that, when we landed, started talking about, out of nowhere.
It was as if, like, a ghost was whispering in his ear or something he's like the plane's gonna explode in the air and his mom was like no no no you
absolutely can't say that the dad came over he's like even though you're a kid yeah you really
can't say that kind of thing uh so he was uh he was a troubled kid or maybe a gifted kid i don't
know i definitely remember like being very young going through security, and their sign saying,
no bombs.
And you're like, yeah, obviously, no bombs.
Ooh, let me throw my bomb away.
And my parents be like, David, don't.
David, do not.
David.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, kids can't help themselves.
Plus, they see all of this.
They just pick the things that happen in the world.
They probably really sit with them in a different way too.
Yeah.
I was totally upset about Manuel Noriega.
I didn't know who he was.
You still are.
Still, yeah.
Should we move on and talk about Mac's fun drive a little?
Yeah, let's talk about a little bit of some of the gifts.
Oh, before we get on to those overheards, you know we got to hear about some Mac fun drive stuff.
Yeah, absolutely.
Dave couldn't have said it better in a better way at all.
Yep, it's time to talk a bit more about it, buckaroo.
Yeah, sit down and listen up
Yeah, the thing is
Look, we make this show
We're very fortunate
Yes
To have people who support us
And we only ask that you support us
Once a year
For two weeks
Yeah
I guess two shows a year
Yeah, that's right
But now is the time
If you're thinking about it
If you've ever thought about it this is the perfect time to uh to head over to maximumfun.org
slash join join thank you
but uh and we uh we frequently get messages from people telling us, you know, the show has helped me so much.
I've been going through a dark time.
Yeah, yeah.
People tell us the show's helped them a lot and they appreciate it.
And we're fortunate to get these messages.
We're fortunate to have people who care enough to send them to us.
care enough to send them to us um but uh quite often people you know want they they are grateful and they would like uh to help us in some way yeah and this is the only time we'll ask you to do it
yeah this is as i said before this is like the jerry lewis telethon or the pbs telethon only
you're not supporting pbs you're supporting us and yeah and we're not doing this uh 24 hours like they do over there on the
pbs and show like uh what would they show a concert featuring 17 folk artists yeah they
would show uh andre ryu doing some of the best waltzes in vienna they would show freaking rick
steves smoking a doobie under the arc de triomphe boy uh i forgot that he he went so college age
well he kind of he's a big uh weed man he's a big weed man yeah yeah they would show uh you know
les mis but not the play just just them singing just them singing into mics yeah i mean the one
you stick around for is master the house because they do a funny dance yeah you get the uh the nardies they're doing their thing yeah so donate
to pbs yeah actually come to think of it no no don't no no don't absolutely under no circumstances
donate to pbs um but what we what pbs can give you doesn't match what we can
give you no and right now we'd like to tell you some of the amazing gifts that you can get if you
support the show uh as a new or upgrading member yes and um, first of all, okay. All members, even if you're not upgrading,
if you,
uh,
if you've already,
if you're already a supporter,
well,
first of all,
you have our,
our deep heartfelt thing.
Yeah.
Thank you.
And we mean it.
We really do.
Thank you so much for that.
Cause,
uh,
it means a lot to us,
uh,
and it keeps us able to produce the show.
Yeah.
It's,
this is a,
a unique, uh, field in the media world.
And Graham and I both work other jobs
that we don't have the freedom to make the shows we want
because there are sticky little fingers involved, aren't there?
Yes, there are.
So at $5, even if you are not upgrading,
or if you're not new,
everyone gets the $5 gift,
and that is bonus content.
Yeah.
You get bonus content from our show.
We've been doing two or three episodes,
bonus episodes a month for the last couple of years.
Yeah.
And then 10 years of one a year
shows as well that's right yeah some like cool we did like where we all played trivial pursuit
that was one i really remember yeah with alicia that's right oh man i miss alicia yeah uh
and now they've uh upgraded the system for bonus content they call it boko i won't say that
uh but they uh there's now two streams of bonus content you can subscribe to all the bonus content
or you can tailor which shows bonus content you want in your feed that's bespoke there you go
i feel like this is maybe a change that was made because a lot of people complained about how much stuff we were putting up nevertheless yeah that's right uh you don't have to listen to the bonus
content you don't want but it's going to be there for you yeah uh at the ten dollar level there is
uh your choice if this is if you're upgrading to ten dollars or you're a new ten dollar level there is uh your choice if this is if you're upgrading to ten dollars or
you're a new ten dollar uh supporter you get a new these what how do you there there's there's
some copy describing these things they're they're resealable stickers yeah so you can put them on a
car or wall it's not going to ruin anything. You can pull it off, put it anywhere they want.
And,
uh, it's cool.
It's,
it's shaped like Mr.
Bean's car.
Yeah.
You get,
if you choose hours,
there's one of 37 to choose.
And if you choose hours,
it's shaped like Mr.
Bean's car.
It says,
been there,
done that.
And,
uh,
you can put it on anything,
put it on your surfboard.
Yeah.
That's a real good conversation starter too,
with your surf pals. You know, you mostly talk about
Point Break, but once in a while you talk about this, don't you? Yeah, they talk about
how much they miss Australia, how they wish they
could get a visa here. They wish their, you know,
the woman whose couch they're sleeping on would just marry them.
Yeah, exactly.
Um,
so,
uh,
these are fantastic.
They're by an artist named Olivia fields and,
uh,
all,
you know,
we got to correspond with her and figure out what was the right,
uh,
template and look for us.
So it's a little,
to me,
it's a little work of art that you get there.
Yeah.
No,
it's a super cool sticker.
You can find it online.
If you go to maximumfund.org slash join,
you can see a picture of the sticker.
And then at the.
Wait,
there's also two,
you get a letterpress maximum fund membership card.
That's fun.
Oh,
sorry.
Yes.
And as we said before,
all the bonus content.
Yes. And every level above you get so if at ten dollars you get the ten dollar and five dollar stuff at twenty dollars you get the
twenty ten and five dollar stuff if you're new and upgrading so let's give them the twenty dollar
stuff oh yeah if you um if you like to cook or you have a head, these are the two things you might enjoy the most.
There's a MaxFun culinary kit or a rocket hat,
which I assume is shaped like a rocket and is like kind of like a beanie situation.
Why wouldn't it be?
Well,
I would go to,
I'd go to maximum fun.org slash join and make sure before you commit,
because it might not be shaped like a rocket.
It might just be a cap with a rocket on it.
It's still very handsome.
So you get, you get this cool, you know,
these either or are fantastic.
You can't make a bad decision
when it comes to these things.
Yeah.
The culinary kit consists of
a MaxFun family cookbook
featuring recipes thoughtfully submitted
by your favorite MaxFun shows
and a jar of bespoke Maximum Fun spice blend.
So you can bam Emeril Lagasse your way through any meal that needs a boost of flavor.
I use it as a rub on my nipples.
That would be fun.
That'd be a fun thing if there was Shakespeare brand spices.
Now, here's the rub, or that's the rub.
Oh, yeah, that's good.
That's pretty good, right?
You know that there is a brand of spices called Shumka Dust?
Is that for real?
Yeah, I follow them on Instagram.
What kind of...
Do you have some?
Did you get some?
No.
Okay.
No, it's not available out here.
Shit.
So, you get that. You get some? No. Okay. No, it's not available out here. Shit. So you get that.
You get the culinary kit.
You get the bonus content that we stated before.
Letterpress Maximum Fun membership card.
And one of those beautiful Mr. Bean stickers.
Stick them anywhere.
Stick them as often as you like, you know?
Yeah, stick them if you got them.
And there are more things you can get at $35.
Well, I mean, I'll just mention this apron that would be a great partner to the culinary kit.
I've seen this apron.
I've felt this apron.
Oh, this is a nice apron.
It says Maximum Yum on it.
Now, can I say that it looks so nice that I feel like I could do like a sexy thing where i'm naked cooking with it
getting grease all over my all over my body and face sure um and i of course am using the rub on
my nipples still uh so i think i boy i guess we could set up a sexy photo shoot yeah with us both
naked under these aprons i guess if you want to donate a
thousand dollars a month we'll talk yeah if you want to donate at the one million dollar a year
level a year no a month why not a thousand you would do it for a thousand a month i thought i
was marking it up i would have done it for two hundred dollars no uh anyway there's things you
can get at uh fifty dollars at a hundred dollars uh, really the thing we work the hardest on is those, those $5 a month episodes.
So, uh, if you're, if you're on the fence, trust us, these are, these are things we're very proud of and they're a lot of fun and they have a different energy than the main episodes.
And it's usually just me and Graham.
And,
uh,
you know,
we,
we look forward to them every month.
Oh yeah.
There's some of the best times that you can have with your clothes on.
Uh,
so do head over to maximum fun.org slash join.
Do it now.
Uh,
and let's,
uh,
do some overheard.
Yeah,
let's do it.
and let's do some Overheard.
Yeah, let's do it.
Overheard.
Overheards.
Boy, oh boy, is it?
It is a world.
It's a feast for the senses.
Every time you leave your house,
no matter what your favorite sense is,
you got to admit it's a feast.
Oh, yeah.
What is my favorite sense?
I guess I like the sixth one.
Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can see the
deads.
Now if you hear something out there and you want to report it, here to the podcast.
We enjoy these overheards. And we always like to start with our guest.
Alicia, do you have an overheard? I do. I actually
wrote down two before i knew i was going
to be on so i felt i felt like i felt smart is that the word yeah yeah you're smart so i um
overheard this conversation during the past three years uh where people have been more home bound
and i feel like more people are out on taking like personal calls outside.
Yes.
And that's not going to change for me,
a person who is noise sensitive.
It's hard to be like just out for a walk and then have someone behind me,
like having a conversation.
One of the most difficult parts is you don't know what the other side of the
conversation is.
My brain but my brain
my brain will fixate on like trying to figure it out or try to ignore it but i really like this one
there was a woman walking down the street with her dog and this is part of her conversation that i
heard i didn't sleep with him i know i didn't sleep with him. I'm a single woman. He knows I didn't sleep with him.
Like, what was that about?
What was that about?
Deny, deny, deny. It sounded like maybe like something had come out on social media
that had suggested that someone had cheated.
Oh my God, that would be the worst place.
That would be the worst place for it to come out.
Like just like regular people, not celebrities?
Yeah, it was so like, it was so funny that she's like, of course I didn't sleep with him.
I know I didn't sleep with him.
He knows it.
I'm a single woman.
It was the I'm a single woman part where I'm like, yeah, that means you can fuck.
You can actually sleep with anyone.
Yeah.
It's double women who can't.
It's double women who can't.
My favorite social media cheating was when Adam Levine's DMs got published.
That was so funny.
It was so fun.
Comeuppance of that level are just like so, they're so great. Yeah.
And like normally I have pretty good like yucky feelings when something's none of my business but i didn't activate that day right
yeah there's just some things where you're like okay i'm having that with the selena gomez uh
hayley bieber uh oh sure what's happening i never even heard about this why isn't everybody telling
me about these things what's happening uh on hayley bieber maybe one of the jenners and someone else made fun of
selena gomez on tiktok and got called out for it and then that became this like huge thing and the
funniest thing i'm on tiktok now to figure out how it works because i have to use it for work
what a great thing to do at your age i know i know and i was like fuck and my boss like you this is great
on there and i'm like it's uh it's not for me um but they people have been going back through all
of the media that exists for these two people and pulling out really funny things about hayley
bieber like she really opened up a can of what she shouldn't have opened yeah but i also the
thing that i loved was like i always thought
her dad was alec baldwin no it's justin bieber it's yeah it's a weird situation it's steven
baldwin yeah the really weird baldwin yeah that was very delightful for me and not a normal baldwin
like alec yeah i mean he is the he's the most normal, according to their family. With his 50 kids and his manslaughter charge.
And his wife that's not really Spanish.
Oh, yeah.
Hilaria.
What is this called?
A concombre?
Yeah, it's so fascinating.
But I used to be kind of addicted to celebrity gossip a long time ago.
So the two of them, and isn isn't hayley bieber like
didn't she kind of copy a bunch of yes selena gomez's style scene for scene shot for shot like
lots of really weird coincidences so that's been i really enjoyed it from afar i like selena gomez
i don't know anything about hayley bieber my my favorite selena gomez thing that's happened in the last year and we'll all go around and talk about ours was she said she was streaming live
or something and she said uh she's not friends with with people with entertainers like my only
friend who's uh you know in hollywood is taylor swift right and uh meanwhile uh like a year earlier she had
received a kidney from her friend yes who is an actress and also was no unless i've heard it wrong
they were no longer on speaking terms well i thought they were but then that friend was like huh interesting commenting on this
uh video of selena gomez saying her only entertainer friend is taylor swift maybe she
meant like that i know level celebrity i know i'm sure she did and but out yeah it doesn't read
yeah oh my gosh my only entertainer friend is oh no i only how could i say i only have one
entertainer friend well i'm on this zoom with two of them that's right and i gave her a kidney so
what do you think about that she didn't need it you just gave it without being asked
yeah just showed up yeah here's a dry ice stalker style i found this in a bathtub in my hotel room
somewhere wrong yeah they took the man and left the kidney
and i have one other overheard of a similar ilk that i heard in
winners last weekend and it was winners is the marshals of canada for the listener
um two women were walking around the ugliest part of winners which is the pottery and home
decor section at the front of the store where they'll be like a iridescent swan beautiful yeah
it's where you buy everything for an airbnb to decorate totally oh my gosh
decorate an airbnb so one friend said and i forgot i didn't hear the name but it was like
how's uh how's jennifer doing and then the other friend said well dramatic pause she has a new
boyfriend and then another pause it's her old boss. Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
You would think so, but her friend's like, oh, yeah, he was hot.
They just kept shopping.
And that was so cute because the friend was like, let's get into this.
And she's like, oh, yeah, I would totally have.
I would have totally fucked that guy. It's not scandalous at all.
Yeah.
I love it when someone doesn't pick up on the vibe like that.
They don't work together anymore, so there's really no issue.
Yeah, and perhaps the issue was that's why they don't work together.
She was like, let's get into it.
Let's trash the friend.
And her friend's like, oh, yeah, that guy was really hot.
Yeah, absolutely.
And he was a boss.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Have either of you had a hot boss?
Yeah.
Yeah, I do right now
that's true everyone at maximum fun yeah they're all hotties
dave do you have an order i don't think i've had like a boss that i've had a crush on oh
we're changing the subject no no i want to know i want no i wonder about your crushy boss
i think i've worked with like tons of like hot. You should do a follow-up to Retail Nightmares that's like Retail Erotica.
Yeah.
No.
No, no way, I know.
Dave, do you have an overhaul?
Oh, not really.
But this is an overseen that happened a few days ago.
I was walking my dog in the morning and just walking past a house.
And out on the front stoop of this house were three used diapers.
And as a parent myself, I can't really figure out what happened.
I can't really figure out what happened.
Were they like, did they, did someone, either someone like threw them at the, uh, threw them at their front door from outside?
Right.
Was this a, was this an assault or was this somebody like carrying too many things and
the diapers fell everywhere?
Um, or yeah.
Or was it like, uh, we ran out of room in the garbage and these are
we gotta put them outside these stink so bad yeah just put them outside we'll get to them later and
then they never do they only discover it again at christmas when they're putting out
it sounds like somebody was like mad at them yeah because there's usually like
hours between diapers nah speak for yourself that could be a
little side hustle is like selling people diapers to throw at people's houses that they don't like
that would be a good side hustle yeah you know like you've already got the diapers yeah yeah
selena gomez gets a couple diapers thrown at her front door from everyone in Hollywood who thought they were her friend.
Alicia
says via the chat, which
has never happened on this before.
Really? I always am
doing chats when I'm in serious work meetings
too and making jokes in the chats and people
love it. You say you have an overseen
that is weird and I want to hear it.
Okay, I don't think I told this on the
last time i was on
but in the neighborhood um content warning or trigger warning discussion of dead animals okay um
i have this great friend in my building we became friends over the pandemic she's like this
incredibly funny and smart 30 year old woman and i feel like her like very old sister but we walk our dogs together usually
like four times a week and her dog is this massive dog that's afraid of everything and hank is hank
who's pretends he's not afraid of everything and we were walking and we saw just a skull
the head of a skunk and we thought how weird is that that's so weird like who would do this and
my first thought is like well what can eat a skunk and my second thought was oh gosh i hope this wasn't done by a person
you know like a a budding psych a budding psychopath we thought it was really weird
and then ali took a photo of it and sent it to me for no reason and i was like don't do that
but it is a very funny thing to just send like a just the head of a skunk and then maybe like a couple of weeks later
we found another one very in the same block uh i was like that's so weird and this was fresh and
really like completely severed clean no blood nothing i don't need i don't usually need a
trigger warning but this is i think that maybe this i got into this story and i needed to have
lunch so i'm hungry and like my adhd medication is just like all that's keeping me going.
But I was like, well, who's doing this to skunks?
And I remember that there's an owl in the neighborhood and it's the owl.
They're the only predator of skunks.
Oh, because they don't have a sense of smell.
And they can sneak up on them before they spray because it's nighttime.
But also, don't they they imagine that meat sucks that's gunga meat yeah yeah yeah that's probably
true but i think that you know that it's a pretty hand hand to beak existence yeah a lot of beak
existence talent to be talent yeah so i don't know why I wanted to tell that story. It's not good.
No, it's great.
You said you were hungry so that makes a lot of sense.
Yeah, I'm like,
I was going to tell you
about this raccoon fight
that was happening
outside my yard.
I'm like,
these are great stories
for the podcast.
Like, oh, they're not.
Stop talking.
Okay, anything else
she writes in the chat,
we ignore.
We ignore it, yeah.
Graham, do you have
an overheard?
I have an overseen. Is it the same couple at the airport
yep is it really no it was i was uh i was at a hot dog stand was at a hot dog stand
getting a veggie dog and a man very irate man walked from behind me and like totally
nearly got hit by a car walking across the street
and he just said fuck and then i looked at him and he was chugging a two liter thing of milk
just like two percent in the in the classic carton do you think he'd been poisoned uh yeah
yeah maybe he ate too many uh chicken wings or Not to do milk to kind of like.
Does milk, do you drink milk if you're poisoned?
I think so.
I think if you've had like, I think maybe.
I don't know now.
When I start my restaurant, we're going to send out a milk facts newsletter every day.
Drink milk if you're poisoned.
We've got all the varieties.
If there was a sub stack that there was just a fact every day.
I'd pay for that shit.
If it was just like,
you pay for it.
All right.
We're listening.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And they're interesting.
They have to be true.
You have to be true and they'd have to be weird, but,
uh,
I could get into it.
Uh,
now we also have overheards sent into us from people around the globe.
Oh, I love send wins. sent in to us from people around the globe.
Oh, I love this.
If you want to send one in, you can send it in to spy at maximumfund.org.
And let's hear what this person has to say.
This first one comes from Brittany B. in Philadelphia.
This is an overheard. I was at work and some co-workers were talking about the
John Bonnet Ramsey case.
This was 20 years ago at work.
When one person chimed
in, they said, they won't solve that case
until they figure out who did it.
Yeah. That yeah um that that that captured a nation's imagination that uh yeah it's it's uh and to this day didn't everybody think it was the dad or am i thinking of a different yeah they
did think it was the mom and then they thought it was and then now they think it might be the
brother oh shit but they'll never they'll never solve it till they figure out who did it yeah They'd think it was the mom, and then they thought it was the dad. And then now they think it might be the brother. Oh, shit.
Oh, that's right.
But they'll never solve it until they figure out who did it.
Yeah, that's the first step in solving crime.
And you only have 48 hours, and then the leads go cold.
It's weird.
When we were making This Sounds Serious, I listened to the 911 call, and it's very weird.
And it's a lot of, of like the answers don't sound natural
that the the the 911 operators asking questions and the guy's like i think he's taking too long
to answer i think it was the brother i forget yeah well that's one of the things but i that
people have said that he might be i think i've watched like every everything that's come out about that case
because i like true crime yeah it's it's fascinating it's like celebrity gossip it's uh
it's addictive honestly i love it i love true crime i'm i'm i'm addicted and it's so bad if uh
if more celebrities got into murdering then I'd be the perfect Oh Robert Blake died
Oh yeah
May he rest in hell
Hey come on
He's a friend of the show
He's a Max Fun member
He was
He was like top tier
Was he wasn't the one that
Who's the guy that had the parrot or the bird?
I think that was him.
Was he Beretta?
Was that Beretta?
It was Beretta, yes.
And he was a little rascal.
This is all stuff,
like I didn't know who he was.
I knew when he was charged with murder,
I'd never heard of this guy before,
but it was sort of like,
if you say so, this guy's famous.
Yeah, this guy rules.
No.
No.
This guy's famous.
Yeah, this guy rules.
No!
This next one comes from Kayla W.
My husband and I were in Toronto sitting outside on a patio.
We overheard this exchange nearby.
Guy one, hey, that dude looks like Tom Cruise.
Guy two, yeah, but Tom Cruise doesn't have a dump truck ass.
Guy one, well, he has a movie star good looks.
That's all I'm saying.
What a sweet person.
I think Tom Cruise might have a dump truck ass. Oh, man.
When he wears those apple bottom jeans.
Yeah.
The boots with the fur.
He's very short and he's, you know.
Really muscular, right?
Solid.
He's solid.
Absolutely.
He's got to have something back there.
And he's become this the stuntman
we all we didn't know we needed yeah i guess i love that yeah it's uh i was like watched a video
about a guy who twice jumped off the cn tower for movie stunts as a joke okay as a prank
and survived he survived both of them and he was like
this super famous
stunt
he better have
if it was for
movie stunts
what movies
did he have to
jump off the CN Tower
for
it was like
some bad Canadian
I don't know why
I asked that question
like why
are you supposed
to remember that too
but if it was notable
I would have
but it's like
you know
something you've never heard
an episode of the King of kensington mr dress up and there's a part two where they filmed
him at the top and he's sitting on the ledge which would make me die on sight i'd have a heart attack
and die and fall off the tower uh but he's just they're all being so casual up top they're just
making small talk and then he has one second
where you can see like oh this might be this might be a bad idea he does it anyways that's
a stuntman ethos he has a parachute i guess what's the deal no he he was on like a rig that
like caught him and pulled him back up so okay yeah like and you know they can only test the rig with a dummy they don't know
if it's gonna work you did you ever watch the that guy who uh the documentary about the french
guy who walked across the twin towers on a wire yes i loved it and then did you watch the joseph Gordon-Levitt movie about that? No. It was,
whenever they make a,
like a,
a movie,
like a scripted version of a documentary,
it's never as good as the documentary.
Never.
Yeah.
And,
uh,
my favorite recent,
uh,
Joseph Gordon-Levitt film is premium rush.
Sounds like the new Dr. Pepper.
when he plays a bike courier.
No, Graham, what do you consider recent
too recent to me i would get i'm gonna guess premium rush came out in 2011 yeah that sounds
about right 2012 it was 2012 it was about bike couriers and oh yeah it is like if you want to
see like a real enjoyable, very dumb movie.
Let me tell you, it's got it all.
It's got bike chases.
It's got a scene where a bunch of bikes circle a bad guy.
It's yeah, it's there's kind of a whodunit element to it.
Anyway, did you hear there?
They'll never figure out who done it until they know who killed him.
That's it.
That's Michael Shannon's in that.
Yeah.
Yeah. He plays the cop.
He's trying to. And it's for some reason they make him the bad guy, even though Shannon's in that. Yeah, he plays the cop. He's trying to...
And for some reason, they make him the bad guy,
even though he's just doing his job.
Sorry, what happened?
What did Alicia say?
The Michael Shannon's in it.
And he can police my pussy.
Thank you.
Yes, thank you.
Yeah, ACAB.
Speaking of ACAB,
did Joseph Gordon-Levitt run into a taxi door or anything in that movie?
Oh, yeah, probably.
He gets hit by a cab.
So, he does get hit by a cab.
And, man, it's like, whoever wrote it just was the silliest person alive.
Because it is so silly.
But worth watching.
Never know who wrote it.
This last one comes from Matt
in Saskatoon. A couple in their
60s had finished their shopping in the bookstore
and were making their way into the coffee shop.
The wife said excitedly,
Oh, I'm going to get myself a drink.
To which the husband replied, Okay, I'll be in the truck
wishing I was dead.
Oh, that's the best one.
That is so funny oh i said something like
that's the ceo of our the company i work for who's like always always like making a point to like
connect and chat and uh he we were going into this really big meeting and he's like how are you and
i'm like oh i feel like a husk of a person just like a bag of like meat and bones like it just went off and his face was like just
full of regret and uh he's like well okay i hope it gets better and then the next time i saw him
he's like how are you are you still a bag of meat and bones he's still a husk and i'm like yeah oh
you remembered yeah what'd you say you're a bag of today some sort of
oh hot diarrhea sir i coleslaw speaking of which uh have you guys ever ordered from superstore
groceries to be delivered no both of you drive so i have ordered from save on foods to pick up
okay so similar whenever they do a substitution in my order it's usually something i don't want
but what i've learned this is a hack for the canadians listening if you say you don't want it
it's already packed though so they don't charge you for it so on my recent order i got a bag of
coleslaw that's this big like i can't finish it so for the home listener she's gesturing as big as uh yeah like a
when dave caught that fish in the movie day and two bottles of free pasta sauce that i don't want
um yeah i could get interested in some pastas huh yeah yeah you can't because there's a secret
ingredient fish oil i didn't know that that would be an ingredient in pasta sauce. Bring it over. I was really surprised.
I'll bring it to you.
Actually, yeah.
Fish oil gives me a shiny coat.
That's true.
Yeah, that and eggs.
Getting some eggs.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
In addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us, our phone number is 1-844-779-7631.
That's one.
Ugh.
Spy pod one like these people have.
Hi, Graham, Dave, and extraordinary guest.
Oh, first of all, Graham, did you know the queen died?
Yeah, nice try.
Also, I'm calling with an overheard.
My husband and I, oh, it's Natalie from Indianapolis,
Crossroads of America.
My husband and I got to go to spend a month in London and the UK last fall.
And for about a week of the time we were there, our college-aged daughter, Amelia, came to join us.
And she brought an overheard from her plane trip across the pond.
So I'm calling to let her tell you that.
Hi, I'm Amelia.
Hi, Amelia.
Hey, Amelia.
I was in my seat and I saw a flight attendant hand this guy
in a few rows ahead of me some pop or Coke or something
and his response was superstar cheers i just thought it was hilarious
we did too we love you guys um thanks so much and off we go
i like that it was uh it was a mother-daughter yeah for me like yeah that the preamble was longer than the overheard itself
yes i like the change of the swapping phones everything about it yeah everything was great
like a harvey comic yeah exactly yeah thanks can just be nice that was very nice fuck i'm gonna
get myself a casper comic and i just want to feel nice for a little bit you know just for like a
couple minutes out of the day just something nice like the little bit you know just for like a couple minutes out
of the day just something nice like the ted lasso where would you get a casper comic i have no idea
you'd have to go like i'm sure they're not making i'm not sure that they're not making them anymore
but who would be reading them at this point in the game unless it had like a sexy reboot maybe
a flea market flea market yeah totally sexy reboot of casper i went to a flea market in calgary
i got myself uh in the box cowboy curtis from peewee's playhouse no way what do like a plastic
toy a plastic toy yeah and that's are you gonna open the box i might i do want to play with it
but also the box is pretty cool but i do want i want to you know run it around
on the desk a little bit and then yeah um is that uh lawrence fishburne it is yeah and i have all
his toys fun little fact uh a pa on phoebus playhouse gave him a script and it was uh he
said i can't do anything it And it was John Singleton.
It was Boys in the Hood or whatever.
It was Boys to Men.
Graham, stop using old Hollywood stories like they're yours.
Interesting story about my friend Lawrence.
Lawrence gave John Singleton a kidney.
Hi, it's Aunt Sheila. Hi, it's Aunt Sheila.
Hi, it's Aunt Sheila.
Hi, Aunt Sheila.
And I'm walking past a local high school where I work.
And this group of eight teenagers standing outside on the lawn,
kind of bickering with each other,
until finally one voice breaks through the crowd and says,
No, bro, seriously?
I have never seen an ugly giraffe
okay yeah it's they're too tall to tell you know oh yeah too tall to tell that's my reality show
yeah you get up to the top and it's a butterface
that would be a good reality show too tall to tell where you you're dating a giraffe but you don't get to see
how good looking they are until after you decide to date them surely there's a reality show that's
been done about women who are tall that date shorter yeah that seems like like you give me
it's either a reality show or a dream i have every night but a gigantic woman tosses you around a little bit
like a manuel finn video okay here we go here we go hey hey dave graham and guests this is joe
calling in from bloomington indiana with an overheard i was walking my dog in the park the
other day we passed a couple walking in the opposite direction, a man and a
woman, and heard part of their conversation.
The man said,
these people are all in their
60s, maybe even older.
And the woman said, do you
really think that matters?
And the man replied, well
yeah, that's what makes them expendables.
Plus the fact that they're
mercenaries.
Alright, off I go.
What?
I believe he's talking about the movie The Expendables.
Yeah, do you know The Expendables?
Oh, guys, I do.
I'm so sorry.
I mean, yeah.
I mean, I think...
It's my favorite movie.
Yeah, I think she thought he was being ageist,
but it is important that they're all in their 60s. Yeah, well it's kind of it's the road dogs of action movies or road
wild hogs and road dogs also last vegas has a little uh yeah sure these these expendables
are 80 for brady that would be good if they debrided the expendables but they are now they're all
very old and they're trying to kill tom brady that's pretty good and topical they can get it
out fast enough uh what it's tom brady is he retiring or he's not retiring or i don't know
what the thing is about him yeah he's he retired He's double retired. Enjoy your second retirement, Tom Brady. You deserve it.
Without your wife and children.
Yeah. He and Gene Hackman
are going to hang out now.
Now, before we say goodbye to our
guest and end this podcast, should we take another
little pause to talk about MaxFunDrive?
I don't think so. I think we just
say that this is it. This is
the two weeks. When you do it, you go to
MaximumFun.org
slash join.
We told you what you can get.
But the most important thing is,
if you like the show, support the show.
Yeah, support the show.
If you got the scratch.
If you got the scratch.
If not, we forgive you.
Yeah.
I think now more than ever,
we work harder than ever on the show.
We make so much extra content. And I think if you than ever, we work harder than ever on the show. We make so much extra content.
And I think if you're curious about it,
now's the time to take the plunge.
Yeah, that's right.
What was our idea for a bonus episode?
I can't remember.
Anyways, what was our idea on the episode?
Oh, I don't know.
Was it too tall to tell?
No.
Yes, that would be amazing.
Was it horse fact or something?
It was something fact.
It was peanuts.
Peanuts.
Yeah.
300 different uses for peanuts.
Look,
we're not married to any of these bonus episode ideas yet.
I had one where I had an idea.
We never did.
Inspired by the leaf or 2000 commercial.
That was good for your 2000 parts.
And we tried to name as many body parts as possible.
We haven't done that one yet.
And I feel like that one's going to come soon.
That's a good one.
Alicia, thank you so much for being our guest.
You're the best.
It's always so nice to hang out with you two over Zoom instead of in person.
Yeah, it's the best.
We probably could have done it in person.
I really love being on this podcast,
so thanks so much for having me.
Yeah, you've worked so hard
to create such a great podcast,
and it's still so good.
And it's a treat to have you.
Yeah, so much fun having you.
Is there anything that you would like to plug
or where people can find you,
or are you just fine just cruising?
Nothing's really happening um but thanks
for asking no problems well thank you for being our guest thank you all the out there for listening
to the show and uh possibly being a part of max fun drive uh take care of yourself and each other
come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself.
MaximumFun.org.
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Audience supported.