Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 792

Episode Date: May 23, 2023

No guest this week as we talk about a big Vegas wedding, Robert DeNiro’s handsomest movies, and putting out fires.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 792 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man that, you know, between him and I, we're flying solo here today, Mr. Dave Shumka. Yeah, that's right. We had a guest booked and that guest showed up to Zoom with a missing USB cable for their microphone. And we thought, you know what? Big, big week over here. Yeah, exactly.

We got plenty to talk about. And so we thought, you know what? Take the week off, guest. Come back next time, maybe. Yeah. No definitive statements at this point. I don't want to, to you know like if you see our guest next week don't assume that this is the guest that didn't make it but we also we

we now do these bonus episodes if you're a member at maximum fun.org yeah uh that are always well most of the time just graham and me yeah uh and they uh they have good energy good vibes yeah they're fun and uh but we never but we used to just do like every 10 episodes just you and me in the regular feed so i thought uh hey and why not we're due yeah and uh but if you do want to listen to our bonus episodes go over to maximumfun.org join we just did a great one on our favorite commercial jingles and people called in with their favorites and we've had the VO5, don't be so

mean to your hair. Get hot. We've had that stuck in our heads for the last week. Yeah. It's fun. It's a fun episode. You want to hear it. And you know what? All the guests sang the jingles as well. This wasn't just the YouTube extravaganza. We had know what all the guests sang the jingles as well this wasn't just the youtube extravaganza we had people all the listeners called it and saying the theme from marine land

yes and uh you know someplace that they haven't heard of since they were a kid but it's been stuck in their brain ever since yeah and that one that goes we will we will finance you sounds like is it finance or refinance whatever makes it more awkward is what that was uh but uh this week well we got it's just you and me man just you and me uh you want to get to know us yeah get to know us when was the last time we did just a you and me episode probably like in the first wave of the pandemic

yeah I think we were trying to figure out how zoom would work and because we did like erotic movie club we did Bradley Cooper movie club but we but then we started having guests and we would like have a guest on who we wouldn't tell that we watched hey by the way we we watched the

bradley cooper movie aloha this week and we're gonna talk about it oh i uh that is that like an obscure bradley cooper movie aloha is it kind of like not one that uh it was emma stone and directed by cameron crowe i think john krasinski's in it okay is i think it's the one where emma stone is supposed to be asian yes from the island yes yes and uh it's not super obscure no yeah i guess not it guess not. It was like awards bait, I think. Yeah. And I was just looking up like Robert De Niro movies to figure out how old he was relative to like when Bad Grandpa came out and where, you know, Last Vegas came out. And he plays a grandfather in those two movies.

And then and the people that are his daughter in their 30s. where you know last vegas came out and he plays a grandfather in those two movies and then uh and the people that are his daughter in their 30s so yeah yeah so he's a he's a grandpa he knows it um although he did just have his seventh child a month ago yeah and uh you know what many happy returns many more on the way i think uh i hope so yeah just freeze that stuff bobby uh because there's many generations of women who want to have your yeah exactly especially you know like young robert de niro in uh taxi driver or godfather 2 handsome handsome is the day is long robert i don't think of him as handsome i do you? Do you think he's handsome? Oh, boy.

Do I think of Robert De Niro as handsome? Yeah, I guess not. Like, I grew up in a time of People Magazine's sexiest man of the year being Nick Nolte. Yeah. Unbeatable. He was in for three or four years straight, wasn't he? He had played a run. Yeah, eventually I had to be like, this is enough yeah yeah give it to some you're embarrassing me oh uh no but also like the people who were considered very handsome when i was a kid were

like mel gibson who was like the scary person now and like i feel like there's a quote from clueless where she says something about mel gibson i was like she likes mel gibson that's crazy yeah it's very weird when i feel like saved by the bell would always do that yes like oh yeah this part simpson animated zit well no i uh caught an episode of saved by the bell that's all right it's all right absolutely um it was the episode where uh screech throws a party when his parents are out of town his mother ruth buzzy yes oh she is too yeah, I didn't even notice that. Yeah. They break an Elvis statue or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway.

Oh, does she have a hound dog as well? Yeah, and Screech loses it in a poker game. Oh, to, like, Jam Diamond or something? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he'll give the dog back if he can have one night with, I think, I want to say Kelly Kapowski, but. I think it was one kiss from someone and then he ends up closing his eyes and then make the dog kiss him. Oh, Screech. Yeah.

Oh, man. Is that, were they also, do they do like, do the three boys have a sleepover and they kind of do like a risky business. Yes. But they, what are they singing? Like bow, bow, bow, bow, bow. They're so close. It's Barbara Ann by the uh... Yeah. Slater can do the splits

it turns out. He does a big move. And uh, anyways that's what guys do at sleepovers we just put on a track and we all try to lip sync as good as possible uh yeah we all well i mean we predetermined beforehand what whose part is what when did the splits happen um do you when you were a kid, did you ever publicly sing either in a choir or talent show or any kind of thing like that? No,

I was in a musical. Like I was in the, I didn't have a solo or anything. You were in the chorus. Yeah, we did a, I told you we, cause you did the same play.

We did Neil Simon's fools. Yes. Yes. And there was a guy who had been a student earlier at my high school who turned it into a musical. Oh, he wrote it as a musical? Yeah, he wrote like 10 songs for it. Wow. All stupid, including me. We're stupid, stupid as can be our minds are feeble we're positively

oafish we're so befuddled that we're absently doltish nonsensical besotted we're backward and a nile we're soppy we're sappy and brainlessly senile we're dopey we're dizzy we're slow gross and bovine dim-witted and silly and sometimes asinine that's dave that is some really good recall yeah i believe the guy's name was waylon mickey well and like this would have been how many years ago that you can recall that whole song this would have been 1990 let's say five you can still remember the entire song uh that's really it's fantastic you've got uh you've got a special brain when it comes to recall hey thanks man it's uh it's a gift and a curse no man no it's all just a gift nice nice nice nice so yeah so Yeah, so. You know what? Let's start with you.

I feel like this is a good week to start with. What's new with you? Okay, sure. Let's. Are you nervous? Are you nervous to tell me? No. Yes.

Yes. Yes. So, first thing that's changed since last we met, I got a haircut which is no no i saw you after your haircut oh you didn't see me after a hair yeah you said you didn't want to talk about it it's it's like slowly i'm getting used to it and it's fine but uh i forgot how how uh getting a haircut is so crazy is they like do you ever like your haircut the second that it's done or do you need it to be a couple days to kind of settle in and kind of look

like you? It depends usually like they put some product in it that smells bad I have to go clean that out what's the weird gel? Is it L''oreal no it's not l'oreal but i think it's something like that i can't remember um and yeah so i went to a barber

i went to a barber i got my haircut now you when was the this was your first haircut since since 1995 as well no but like within i think i i was at the winnipeg comedy festival and the the woman doing makeup said do you want me to give you a trim and i was like yeah sure while i'm here and then that would have been like 2005 maybe 2010 maybe yeah somewhere around there so a long time long time without a haircut uh got some trims there here and there but this is official like haircut haircut yeah this is went from the middle of the back to top of the shoulder yeah and and like you know i know you like to have your hair then your neck yeah and then your back yeah and then you know where else i know two more places

um and the the barber yeah so i didn't like it at first i really didn't like it uh but i still you you don't want to hurt the barber's feeling right this is like the barbers every day is people walking out hating their haircut because if no one likes their haircut the minute it happens then it's it must be like the worst job in the world yeah that's true it's kind of a different it's not as bad as being the desk person at an impound lot which i feel like is the worst job that i can think of because yeah i mean some vet it seems very hard to me yeah yeah going and start becoming a vet because you love animals and then realizing how much of the job is putting them down

i guess that's true i didn't think about that. Um, so then, uh, he did a weird thing. I don't know if I've never had this done before where he has like a glove, like a weird electronic glove. And he like, it's like a head massager. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Have you had that done? I've had that. I haven't had it in a long time. Cause I've been going to my same person for a long time. I did not know what to make of that. He said, do you want this and i was like uh yeah i guess i don't know what it is but um and you you're supposed to go the whole time so your voice vibrates yeah i kind of

missed out on a pretty i could have missed out on some possible jokes that could have been made to lighten the tension of a man buzzering my head. Yeah. Like, Hey, if you put it on your left hand, it feels like someone else is buzzering your head or whatever. You know,

that guy's using that downstairs. Yeah, of course. And I hope that he rinses it out, but it probably doesn't it's not a receptacle grab um so yeah i got a haircut got a beard trim uh the beard is quite trimmed yeah and i like it and there's a beard i'm on board with okay yeah good yeah the hair like it's it's kind of growing out a little bit, and I'm fine with it now. But that first day, like, because I hadn't, like,

had a shower or anything, it looked like a woman's haircut because it flipped up at the end. So it was like he gave me, like, a bob. Yeah, he gave you, like, Wendy Malick on Seinfeld. Yes. Everyone's making fun of her old-timey haircut. on Seinfeld? Yes. When everyone's making fun of her old-timey haircut?

Yeah, so it looked hilarious when I saw it in the mirror. I was like, oh dear. Now, you used to... When's the last time you painted with your beard? Probably like six months ago, six or seven months ago. Because there was a time when your beard was growing so much and

people were like, hey, buddy, rein that in. And you're like, ah, I paint with it and I give the money to charity. I had a loophole. I figured, OK, as long as it's for charity. People love charity. People love giving charity. Well, they like hearing about people giving a charity. That's true.

Yeah, people do love that. well they like hearing about people giving a charity that's true yeah people do love that um uh did you hear there was like a news story of people saying like don't be so mean to your hair like don't buy the pre-made uh hampers like they're sent to the food bank yeah they listed off something they found in one hamper and it was a can of cherry pie filling which yeah when you're if you're going to the food bank you probably are making a lot of pies you've got all these crusts yeah you're making crusts you're um you're running out to the store to uh hopefully hopefully there's some uh cherry pie if not, then maybe a pumpkin pie will sub in. I am a maker of pies, and even I won't buy filling.

What? I mean, pumpkin's different. I'll buy pumpkin pie filling. Yeah. I'm sweetening it myself. What's your best pie? I think you've told. I like a blackberry.

We do blackberry or apple, just apple. Just classic apple. Yeah. No kidding. I ate a whole half of a pie not that long ago. And you know what? It was the best. Yeah.

Because I feel like a slice of pie just goes by so fast. Sure. Like there are certain things that as a parent, I'm like, I don't like my kids. I wish my kids were more adventurous with food. Yeah. Like I wish they would try more things. But when they do, I'm like, oh, no, not that. That's mine.

Oh, you don't like pie? Oh, you do want to try some pie? Oh, I kind of had it cut into six pieces So Abby and I could each have it for three nights. Yeah. And so that's when you just pour a little salt on it to make it gross. Did they like it? Did they instantly like apple pie? I think Poppy would have pie.

Yeah. I haven't made it in many months. Poppy strikes me as an adventurer. She is. And then someday she'll just totally be like well i'll never have pizza again pizza is the most disgusting food in the world don't even say pizza around me you're really hamstringing me here kid yeah like and then she'll be like uh i'll say what do you want for your for your snack at school today and she'll say grilled guide cookies and pickles that's what she got yeah and that's uh inside a kid's brain that's that's good enough i mean

it's partly like a charcuterie board if you got a pickle and so yeah girl guy cookies oh man i love those cookies holy cow yeah uh well uh we've still we've all got we've always got more they give us too many every time and i don't know enough people yeah yeah yeah it's uh if you ever go where was it that i bought this half pie from i'll remember but i remember it being discounted for sale at the counter and i was like how bad could this half pie from. I'll remember, but I remember it being discounted for sale at the counter, and I was like, how bad could this apple pie be? It was fine. It was a grocery store?

Yeah, it was a grocery store, yeah. But, anyways, that's a hot tip for anybody that's doing some grocery shopping. Eat half a pie. Okay, so that's the big news for the week. You cut your hair. Yeah, and that's it. That's all. No, I went to the big news for the week. You cut your hair. Yeah, and that's it. That's all.

No, I went to the city of sin, the city that's so nice they named it once. It's a place of vice, a place of den of iniquity. It's Sodom and Gomorrah. It's like that's where that happens in our time i went to las vegas las vegas nevada which i hadn't been at since i was a kid i haven't been at this place for a while let me add it yeah exactly and because uh you know you're not allowed in a lot of places if you're a kid even though that was like the era of trying to uh bring families to las vegas when you went when you were a kid did you go to any like shows yeah i uh i begged my dad begged

my dad uh because we were in a hotel and they had a thing of poster of what was going on in the hotel lounge and there was a guy called the unknown comic wore a paper bag over his head from the gong show yeah exactly my and i just was like hey can we go to that i was like no and then it just turned into the simpsons like can i can i please can i please can i please can i please and he took me and it was hysterical it was so bad uh worse than anything was that your first stand-up comedy show um no i think i had seen derrick edwards at yuck yucks when i was younger because i i got in with a fake id oh and yeah i think i saw like a comedy tour with uh maybe rick mercer or something no harlan williams harlan williams when he okay uh anyways the unknown comic murray langston is

his name in real life and uh he still got the bag he still got some he has a joke about carl malden which at the time uh was impossible knowledge to find out because the internet wasn't really happening. Sure. But now you know who Carl Malden is. Oh, yes. Yes. He's from the streets of San Francisco. Yeah.

And he was in a bunch of American Express commercials. Don't Leave Home Without It. That was him. Okay. Yeah. He's good. And, of course uh uh a streetcar named desire yes yes um the the way that the gag went is he put on he's like

here's carl malden he put the paper bag on and there was another smaller paper bag because i guess he has a big nose yes and that was the whole joke and i was like and then at some a certain point he he played jazz on the piano freestyle jazz and then he got up and went to the bathroom and brought another comic on to fill up uh the stage time so that he could go get a drink and go to the bathroom man that's uh that's okay yeah i mean if you gotta go if it's lucy goosey i think that's fine it was yeah it was the best it's uh i was i was right in begging my dad to take me and that's what it was called it said uh the unknown comic unmasked and then underneath it says murray langston so they already gave away who it was and nobody

knows who murray langston is yeah he's the unknown comic yeah um he's literally unknown um the but that was the era of like where they first had like cirque de soleil in vegas yes and they also had like out in front of the hotels they had like shows there was like a volcano show and there's a water show and there was a pirate show there were two where a boat sinks at the end uh which that's not there anymore apparently that shut down uh because of somebody getting hurt i wonder if there's any like yeah because i went maybe 15 years ago and i don't think it was very kid friendly no i think you went in the in the redo era where they were doing what happens in vegas stays in vegas oh that's right um because yeah i was i took a tour

of a place and uh the tour guide went through and said there was this kids friendly era but nobody went into the casinos because they had their kids with them. So they lost a bunch of money on booze and casino winnings or losing. So yeah it was

I went to Vegas I stayed in a small hotel just off the strip. Okay. And it's hot as hell there. There's no reprieve. There's no trees except palm trees that are way too high and cast no shadow. So it's just you're in the day.

Everybody's just asleep during the day. The whole town kind of starts their day at 4 p.m and because everybody we talk to yeah the night is that's the thing it's everywhere uh lights up the night time is the right time yes i guess you could say that did they have um at night did they have like is i guess nothing ever closes yeah the casinos stay open sometimes i think the shops within the casino are closed but the casinos are always open and you can drink all day and all night and carry your drink with you from one casino to the next did you ever get one of those really long like the yard ones the yard ones that have a strap that you can wear um no but i i saw a lot of them and uh anybody that was carrying one was stumbling drunk so

good i'm good that's what you're paying for yeah it's uh i had like a bingo card kind of thing of who what i wanted to see in vegas i got a lot of them i got a lot of the for instance well like you know somebody who lost one of their shoes uh like a woman that lost one of her heels which then i didn't see the woman but i did see a heel in the ashtray of a hotel uh which is just as good um we like i wanted to see, you know, somebody in a Vegas jersey. Vegas Golden Knights. Saw that. They must have hockey fever there right now.

They got hockey fever. And they're also, everybody's talking about, they're getting a baseball team. Oh, yeah. And they have a football team. The Raiders moved there. Yeah, they have the Raiders and the Oakland A's are going to go to Vegas. Oh, yeah. And they have a football team. The Raiders move. Yeah, they have the Raiders and the Oakland A's are going to go to Vegas. So. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. So they're like, everybody's really stoked about that. And every Uber that I was in, the people talked about it, about how this so exciting, getting a team, another team. And then they're just short a basketball team until, you know, they'll have the big four. Mm hmm. Wow. And a couple of years ago ago they had none that's right yeah somebody's investing pretty heavy in the whole yeah i think it might be that notorious bugsy malone it's also there's ever seen bugsy the the one with the kids no the Warren Beatty oh Bugsy uh yeah yeah I feel like I did

was I certainly I did not it's uh Warren Beatty was uninteresting for uh boys there's nothing to sink your teeth into except yeah Dick Tracy was good but that's because it was Dick Tracy it wasn't because it was Warren all boys love Dick Tracy yeah and uh Dick Tracy was good. But that's because it was Dick Tracy. It wasn't because it was Warren Beatty. All boys love Dick Tracy. Yeah. And everybody loves that guy from, what is the movie that he was in? Like Soap or Shampoo, I think it was called. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, where he was like having sex with all his clients. Yeah, kids love Reds. Oh, yeah. And have you ever seen Bullworth? Because that's... No. The the premise do you know the premise he's gonna die uh or does he know he's gonna die or something no i don't think he knows that he's gonna die but he's like frustrated with the political spectrum so he starts a campaign where it's like, don't vote for anybody. And he starts rapping.

He like meets a rapper and then he raps all his messages. And it's just as good as you can imagine. Warren Beatty. Is it as good as ghetto super super star? Uh, Oh yeah. That's from that movie, isn't it?

Yeah. I bet you on that music video, there's clips from the movie of uh or maybe even he shows up in the video but um yeah oh there definitely is and it's pros who's now uh was a fuji and is now a like international spy or something did you hear this story no uh no as well from the food well it was the beautiful maya singing the hook and old dirty Did you hear this story? No. Did you hear this? No. Roswell from the food, well, it was the beautiful Maya singing the hook and old dirty bastard was there as well. I don't, I couldn't fully absorb the, whatever his, he was found guilty in a scheme to help China influence,

uh, the U S government. Whoa. Praz. Yeah. And then didn't Wyclef, didn't he go to some country and try to run for president or. Yeah.

And then it was Haiti. And he also was, didn't he, didn't he like raise a bunch of money for a disaster in haiti and the money maybe didn't go yeah the money vanished yeah yeah it was gone till november yeah he um yeah that leaves only uh lauren hill you know cleans his whistle she hasn't done anything bad since uh the fujis or that i know of maybe she's doing something bad right now. Hard to say. Um, I don't,

uh, her path has been, uh, uh, up and down. Yes. Yeah. As we all, as we all feel in our own singing careers.

Uh, yeah. Um, so yeah, there's, uh, what else? They're gonna,

they're gonna baseball team. They're also, the whole city is going to be made up for some giant NASCAR race. They're paving all these roads with appropriate kind of materials. They're even doing the Vegas trip. That's going to be part of the course. Oh, is it Formula One?

Yeah, Formula One. Yeah. Yeah, because NASCAR is just a circle. Yeah, no, Formula One. And they've like they're building a tower, a huge tower for viewing that is costing a billion dollars. And it's they're only going to use it once, they say. That's awesome. Yeah.

I love that about this uh you know i love that how often that kind of stuff happens yeah that it's uh yeah so that's uh that's kind of the local hubbub um and then i uh tried to go to as many casinos as possible uh-huh did you gamble a little bit but uh gambling doesn't it doesn't do anything for me it just feels like uh here's five minutes that you're playing and there goes your 25 dollars um you know i don't have the i don't have the stick-to-itiveness to to gamble to really lose your money yeah yeah when you did gamble was it slots yeah yeah did some slots and the the cool thing all the slots now are all just digital um you know different

brands and stuff digital but if you go to circus circus which is like the oldest uh kind of more decrepit uh casino on the strip. They have the old timey. A lot like the one arm bandits. Yeah. And, and they still use coins. The digital ones don't use coins. They just have credits on like a little,

you just push a button over and over and over. Yeah. Yeah. And so, yeah, it was fun to do that. It was fun. Circus circus is spooky,

man. Oh man. It hasn't been redone at all. Some of the lights are burned out on the sign, and there's a clown face that you can't see in the dark, so it just looks like a body holding a lollipop. Do they have carpet at these places? Yes. I feel like there must be so many spills.

So many spills, and one of the things i wanted to see was either someone peeing uh on the strip somewhere or throwing up i would take either that was on your bingo card that was one of the bingo card things but they they like apparently they have undercover police all over the place on the strip and they clean that kind of stuff up instantly that's why i became a policeman just carrying around a shovel all day and yeah don't mind me um so yeah i got that i ate at a buffet which i haven't done since i was a So, yeah, I got that. I ate at a buffet, which I haven't done since I was, I don't know, like maybe in high school. As an allergic guy, is that a concern for you of cross-contamination?

This buffet had listed the ingredients that might kill you kind of things. And I didn't really get anything that was sitting next to anything that could be poisonous um what's the best vegetarian thing at a buffet pasta yeah pasta is pretty good um if you get something like uh like a a grilled pineapple something like that an exotic way to serve uh a popular fruit i do you get a discount for being a vegetarian at a buffet where there's like you know some of these vegas buffets there's like you know crab legs and things oh this is everything this it had crab legs it had a giant uh thing of meat that the uh the chef was like uh cutting off it was that guy was actually an undercover cop in case that anybody barfs

that uh that rib roast is a decoy and uh i tried my best to eat as much food as humanly possible. And it's hard, man. You got to stay away from the bread. That's going to fill you up too much. You know, I had pasta. Like, I had macaroni and cheese. That was a mistake because it takes up too much space.

But I had scrambled eggs. I had the best scrambled eggs I've ever had in my life in that buffet. To the point that I'm like, why are the scrambled eggs I've ever tasted so awful compared to this wow yeah what do they do at this hotel the bellagio that's where the oh yeah yeah my i know uh i i saw a documentary about them being robbed by it wasn't 12 guys. It wasn't 10. Was there an acrobat? Was that an acrobat? Yeah, there was an acrobat was one of them. See if you can name all of them.

Oh, of the... Of Ocean's Eleven? Yeah, and if you can't name them, you can say the guy. I don't know the name of the acrobat. Okay. George Clooney. Matt Damon. Yep. guy we don't i don't know the name of the acrobat okay uh george clooney uh-huh matt damon yep um who oh shit there's two nerds that hate each other yeah that work together in a van doing all the behind the scenes kind of stuff yeah and they're both related to more famous people those right um and then carl you're not gonna say their names okay

it was their names casey affleck and scott khan that's right yeah i knew oscar winner oscar winner scott khan uh you said carl reiner carl reiners he's the big boss man. The acrobat. The acrobat. Not Julia Roberts. She's not in on it. She's not in on it. I think she was maybe the 12th in Ocean's 12th. Yes, yes.

I mean, I know the bad guy is Andy Garcia. Yeah, not in on it. Not in on it. There's another old guy like Carl Reiner. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, fuck. I'm trying to picture another old guy. I just remember Carl Reiner wearing a big robe that his wiener could have stuck out of.

The other old guy is Elliot Gould. Oh, shit. And what was his function? I don't know. He's a people guy. He got the other ten together. Then there was the other lead

in it after George Clooney. Oh, did I miss? It's not Ben Affleck. No. Hmm. Brad Pitt. Brad Pitt. And then there is

uh there were two gentlemen of color oh um oh god uh what the gentleman that played

War Machine in the uh Marvel movies oh um uh Don uh

what's his face Cheadle Don Cheadle Don Cheadle yeah yeah he had a terrible british accent in it that's right and they had to stick with that for the sequels um then who else was in it i don't he was the explosives expert by the way uh and then there was a card dealer uh was it pros was bernie mack oh bernie mack right i rest in peace and then the last one was a like a nerdy hacker guy and he was just an unknown at that point he's uh i don't know his name but i've seen him in things right he's not philip seymour hoffman or something like no no no

no um anyway so that's uh we named them yeah we did it well you did it mostly i got the three leads but not without some coaxing um yeah so i ate so much food and uh sat by a pool i've done that forever and ever okay like lying around by a pool that was fantastic someone who knows where this story is going i'm like yes go on i saw carrot top oh yeah at the luxor um just walking around yeah yeah i went to see a show bag over his head but just the top part so nobody can see the red hair. Yeah. That's all they're looking at all the time.

Um, his show, I can honestly say I've never seen a show like it. Uh, he's got, he's got sound cues. He's got props. He's got a video.

You better have props. Um, you know, he's got a bunch of trunks on stage, uh, filled with filled to the brim with hilarious jokes is he do you think it's the same show every time or is he he got he's got enough props to yeah he's but the weird thing was all the props that he used i'd seen them before in various oh yeah so it's like huh does he actually have how do you workshop new prop material yeah i mean uh yeah right do you remember the episode of gene simmons family jewels where they

went to a uh like a thrift store and uh i think that's the show it was on yes yes and he like picked out items items and he's like oh this could be something i don't know why gene simmons was there um just being a man of the people just being like gene simmons loves to laugh yeah humored guy um but yeah sock hair top and terry fader uh was in the audience with the puppet on his hand terry fader is a puppet man himself he's a uh a ventriloquist that sings impressions of famous singers and he won america's funniest people america's got talent no he won he won both. He won Star Search? But he had the puppet on his hand, which I thought was really weird

because he wasn't performing. He was just sitting there watching the show. What would you have done if your hairdresser had put a puppet on his hand and vibrated it on your head? I mean, I would do it just to see what it feels like just to feel something yeah exactly um so that was weird and fun and uh so i feel like i got to see a show

um all the uh search so late there's a lot of them there and i worry about somebody getting hurt so i can't enjoy oh oh you can't do it yeah i mean i'm just worried like i really just think about their lives i feel like weird about like oh my god this person's devoted their life to this three minute act right and they're just like a ball of muscles yeah and uh or somebody who just flies through the air off a trampoline and a couple times i've got a search so i have all i've also thought these guys are all fucking all these people are fucking each other you couldn't be more right it must be like the olympic village yes yeah where it's just like hey this is the the type and class of people i identify with and so you know they have more in

common than not um and then what else did i do what else did you do what else did i do while i was there i'm just gonna take a sip of water while i was in las vegas i went and got married married yeah i went to the famed little you did this you knew you were gonna kill 35 minutes before you got to the good stuff yeah see you gotta lead it up you know that's that's how you create a terry fader show what would have happened if our guest had shown up today yeah well you would have just had to sit this out which is fine because because his mic didn't work so uh that would have been fine if he just sat there the whole time um graham you got married congratulations thank you little white chapel las vegas uh where recently got married a white castle like yes we got married white castle and then they made a wedding cake out of sliders and now i i have i

met your wife yes you have met my wife okay uh and she is the best How do you like saying my wife? I love it. I love saying my wife. And also just, you know, she was talking to somebody. She said, my husband. I was like, that sounds weird. Who's that? Yeah. I'll kill him. Did you have that when you got married?

That you were like, now you're referring to each other as as wife and husband well i i you know i say old lady this is the old ball and chain yeah um yeah no it's very weird for the first i don't know 10 years yeah okay that's good that's something to look forward to you so how long had you planned this because were you engaged no no engagement just uh just a plan we started making a plan we're gonna go to vegas go to the chapel where ben affleck and jennifer lopez got married uh-huh um who else is that are they the most famous paul newman and his wife got married there joanne woodward yep and jeez there's another one that they had like on the wall um but yeah you can just go it's like really simple to get married in vegas you just have to go and get some forms

you said that uh when you got there you were gonna because i i you told you told me about a month ago dave we're eloping and i said i don't think it's eloping if you tell me so isn't it eloping is usually a secret thing but maybe i i'm just thinking of like when you know 18 year olds elope but you are you were on the inside track yeah didn't tell everybody so and then you told yeah i'm glad you're what if i wasn't what if i this was me finding out uh the you told me that the first thing you had to do when you got there you were like we got to get the marriage certificate because apparently that's a big to do and like they said on their website if it's if the line's too long it goes outside

and there's no palm trees to there's nothing it's just concrete and uh they said bring bring like appropriate clothing and some water and oh that was the thing too a lot of people that drive ubers there have a giant thing of water like a jug to drink yeah like a jug to drink from um and there was a guy i think who was drinking gatorade but that's neither here nor there. No, no, no. Let's talk about him. It could have been Powerade. It could have been, uh, uh, what's the other one that,

uh, Connor McDavid drinks? Vitamin water. Is that one of them? Hmm. Yeah. I want to say it's Barbasol. Biosteel.

Biosteel. Okay. Barbasol. You're close so you go into the the county clerks lineup and you have to what county is it broward clark clark county oh wow yeah and uh florida right what's that? I think Broward's Florida. I just know the county's from the CSIs. Yeah, so, and that's right. I forgot that CSI is set there.

Was there a lot of CSI merch still there? Because there was when I went 15 years ago. No, there was a lot of Raiders stuff. Everywhere you go, it was Raiders, Raiders, Raiders. Were they LA before? They were LA. They were also Oakland. Uh-oh, Oakland.

Better shape up, man. Oakland's losing out, man. But the, yeah, they've been back and forth. They've been everywhere. The Raiders, yeah, because they were on the East Coast for a while? No, no. Okay. It wouldn't be a logo that would play while

there because it's cold there and he's got swords in his head so yeah it's too cold to put swords in your head in this weather you want to get that sword you want to bring it inside, let it defrost, stick it in your head. So they make you fill out a digital questionnaire. And the guy next to us was so funny because he had had three previous marriages. And when he typed in divorced, he said like out loud, like happily divorced. I think for his future wife's benefit. Oh, sure. Yeah, you better be.

Yeah. And then you just, there's all these tellers that you like go and talk to and they make you do a vow. They make you do like a right hand in the air vow that says your information is complete. But they also throw into your knowledge. So you really gives them a chance to kind of, I don't know. I didn't know. I don't know.

We, uh, I, we didn't grow up in the same house. We couldn't be brother and sister. Yeah. So you do that. They give you a form. You keep that with you.

How long did that take? It didn't take any time at all. Oh, okay. It was like 15 minutes. And it was done. You say the oath. And, you know, then you go back out to the blazing, blazing sun. And then we tried to find somewhere

like fun to eat and like i say vegas doesn't start until five or six p.m so any bar you went into was empty and uh you know just the bartender standing there wondering why you're in this bowling alley slash bar when nobody's in there there's a um when we went there was like an all-night denny's i guess every denny's is all night yeah it was like right down the street from where we were there's 24 hours mcdonald's as well and you really can you can buy booze all the time there's no so you went to did you have like a reservation to get married or was it, is it just like, okay. Yeah. You have to have a reservation and the chapel is quite small and you go in there and there's a lot of people waiting to get married, which is very funny to me that I was like, oh yeah, of course they would have the, the next person in line would be there.

Was there like a, yeah. I like how when you're getting a reservation is it like 305 310 315 or it was it was three in 15 minute in 15 minute increments okay um is there a um Elvis impersonator there is um uh he is he the officiant or the witness? He, I think was the officiant and he was doing the party before us. Oh, okay. And, uh, yours was just a dude. Yeah, it was just a dude, but man, some of the wedding outfits, they were fantastic. There's like just a woman with boots, basically that went up to her waist and they were like

shiny blue boots those sound like waders yeah she's wearing um what were you wearing uh i wore suit i have purchased a suit for the first time in well probably since my 20s i guess um and i had it like i went to moore's because they're the first name in uh suits for sure and uh got one got one made because uh i've got a weird shape body and the the guy that was working with us was very kind in uh in expressing how this coat should fit um and then i went to i did this with a past guest past favorite guest alicia tobin uh came along for the ride uh and she really she knew what was going on i had no

idea what what the things were to know and all that kind of stuff so then we walked down the street just to see if there was like a second choice and we went to the big and tall store and uh the guy that helped us said like oh no we don't start until extra extra extra large like we don't also we don't start till 5 p.m we're like a las vegas style big and tall store but yeah they had i mean they had everything from like band t-shirts to sport coats but they would they would be hilarious dave burn star you know yeah that's great yeah it's uh and then they were like no you're we agree you have a weird shaped body but it's the size we're a weird size store yeah we're taking a look at you now we're gonna throw a tape measure around that body and see see what fits you know take a look at you now

and walk it out on me it's against all odds is that i think did that win an oscar that song uh what movie would it have been in? That's a pretty iconic song in the I was going to say Billy Joel. That is incorrect. Phil Collins. It was for the movie

Was it called Against All Odds? Yeah. Who's in Against All Odds? Yeah. Because it is sort of... Who's in Against All Odds? Yeah. Oh, God. How much freaking research I got to do here, man? Against All Odds. Okay.

It's... Because he kind of just adds the word against all odds to the song. Right. Jeff Bridges. Okay. Rachel Ward. Don't know Rachel Ward. James Woods.

James Woods. Alex Karras. Hmm. Do you know who he is? No. He was Webster's dad. What a credit. Yeah.

I just want to see if it won an award. It won the Grammy Award. Nice. It was nominated for Best Pop Vocal Performance. It was nominated for Song of the Year and for an Academy Award as well as a Golden Globe for Best Original Song.

Wow. It's a great song. Who did it lose to? It is a fantastic song. I'm glad that it got nominated for all those things, because it deserved it. Mm-hmm. Okay, you can keep going. So, we asked, is there a place to get a drink nearby and she said right next door and so as we

walked over where was it when was this after you got your yeah i have no after we were married yeah we're like where can we go grab a drink and the next door they had a sandwich board said if you've just been married come in and have free champagne oh cool yeah so they got a little deal going with the little white chapel and there was no champagne the party before us drank all the champagne so we got tequila shots oh wow the party before drank all the champagne this place it was not prepared no exactly did not what time of day or night did you get married? 4 p.m.

4 p.m. So you were the first of the day. They don't even do that. Yeah. Can I interrupt you? Yes. So do you ever watch the Oscars now? No.

I watch the highlight reelsels when they do the best song they have them all come out and perform the the best song right and it's always like those maybe one of the five songs you know it's like shallow by lady kaga and bradley cooper or whatever else the disney song that year yeah and then four songs that you're like okay if you say so we got brandy carlisle to write a song for this independent movie that no one saw did you ever see a movie that one of the things that they say about the movie is featuring a brand new song from so-and-so yeah like that they have so little faith in their movie that they're like yeah but there's a song new song from buffalo springfield um and and then so but in 1985 yeah can you imagine going to the oscars and seeing

uh the the five nominated songs against all odds by phil collins footloose by footloose by kenny logan yeah let's hear it for the boy from Footloose. Yeah. Yeah. That, yeah, that does have two really huge songs in it. Ghostbusters. Oh, wouldn't that have been amazing? Well, I wonder who sang it on stage.

Was it Ray Parker Jr. or did they get... Cross America or whatever. It was up with people. And then the winner by Stevie Wonder I Just Called To Say I Love You wow

big year and not not nominated but the winner of best original score Prince For Purple Rain shit

yeah that's a good score and uh also I'm surprised Power Of Love didn't get nominated because that's a great song and uh also a surprise power of love didn't get nominated because that's a great song that would have been 1985 i think um yeah maybe uh it's weird because i looked up the 1985 oscars and that might have been movies that came out in 1984 right anyway um well i gotta look at the 1986 oscars yes please how many shots of tequila did you have

um we had one and then uh there was a woman from i don't know if she was just hanging out at the chapel or if one of them just got married there's a party there that drank the last of the champagne sat down and just started talking and uh didn't leave for the duration of uh the time we were there so just saying like this is how a marriage works got married at 20 uh we've been together 10 years we have three kids or something like that and now you are you've been married what now four days five days yeah yeah how do you make it work um lots of booze first of all you want to start everything at 4 p.m that's that's the nap all day if you have to enjoy the air conditioning which apparently it's illegal to have a building without air conditioning in uh in lots of good. And like, it's different here

when it gets hot because nobody has air conditioning. No, you have air conditioning. I do, yeah. Come over. Yeah. Come over and put together an Oscars playlist. The next year, Power of Love was nominated. Oh, okay.

Good. But it lost to Lionel Richie. Say you, say me Me from White Nights. From White Nights? I wonder what that movie is. Never heard of that. Boy, yeah. Some stuff you just don't need to go back and get. That's true.

You don't need to learn about. Oh, it stars Gregory Hines and Mikhail Baryshnikov. They were kind of the rush hour duo of their day. Yeah. That's pretty good um so then yeah uh went out to dinner at a really fancy vegetarian restaurant and then uh what did you grow the golden nugget but the gold the nugget was made out of uh like a satay the gold nugget's still there which it was very surprising uh because it's like old vegas the golden nugget old vegas yeah which is all gone there's uh there's only circus circus that's the only weird one everything else is like you said the gold nugget you said the gold nugget's not still there?

No, I don't think it's on the strip. And then there's a street that's not the strip called Fremont Street, I guess. And that's insane. The whole, like, the length of several blocks has a dome over it playing videos. And there's a zip line that goes along the whole road.

And there's just like... It's what you think vegas looks like from movies about vegas like all the bright lights and neon and all that kind of stuff i i think we walked when we went we walked through a bunch of them and i really like the venetian because it had a cool uh sky cool ceiling that made it look like daytime all all the time and they they have the canals right it's the gondoliers uh have you ever been in a boat gondoliered no not me either and i don't know if i ever would it seems like a lot of chatting would go on yeah um yeah and then uh hung out by the pool the next day went went to every casino went to every casino walk through

uh they uh they still smoke in there so oh wow yeah so like oh right i heard that i heard that like during covid it was like you must wear a mask at all times unless you're smoking yeah it was weird because like i was breathing heavy after a while, and I was like, I don't know what the hell happened. Oh, yeah, I've been walking through basically a cloud of cigarette smoke the size of a casino. Yeah, did you bring your inhaler? I did, yeah, I did.

But, yeah, there's even a smoking section in their airport, which is... Are there slot machines in the airport? Yeah, and a lot of them are in that smoking section sure yeah uh they want you to have as many vices as possible there in vegas so they can really move merchandise you gotta love it yeah you do were these people handing out uh the flyers for the sex workers on the street no but there was a lot of guys just saying hey come in here like okay without a flyer and uh that was quite frankly scary because i don't know what this guy wants me to do and uh maybe sometimes you're a married man yeah exactly um now you can use that you can be like i'm a married man yes this the price of gasoline is out of it's out of order i'm married as a married man i find the gas is too expensive and you you have said my wife once and you said it with a

borat accent yeah that's gonna be it's gonna be hard to come down from that yeah yeah it's true it's like it's very hard to stop using the dana carvey voice when you say you're not gonna do it it wouldn't be prudent at this juncture yeah exactly and uh you know anytime that i say turtle turtle turtle i think of him and the master of disguise sure it's very hard to just like uh um tell someone they look marvelous. Yes. Yes. Absolutely. So, yeah. And then just hung out. And it's, yeah, it's like you do. You just stay in the darkness during the day. And then you come out at night and walk around.

And it's still hot. I used to come out at night. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I don't really care about Vegas, Greg. I care about you being married. Oh, good. Well, yeah.

It feels good so far my ring it was too small so i'm not currently wearing the ring but when i had it i couldn't stop playing with it i was just constantly swinging around and absolutely that was the first six months i would be like holy i can't stop playing with this thing and then then 10 years after that it's like you are playing with it all the time you just don't notice right yeah yeah yeah and like i was uh i'm constantly worried now about snagging it on something because i don't have any other rings and i remember jimmy fallon had like a big accident with his wedding ring and i was like yeah i think that was more of a freak accident as long as you're're not playing ping pong with the Jennifer Lawrence

and Dame Judi Dench, I think you're fine. Oh, man. Yeah, that show. Yeah, just get a bigger ring. Get one that fits. Yeah. It's my... They kept saying your hands are swollen.

I'm like, well, maybe they're always constantly swollen. Maybe that's the style of hand i have yeah um and did you when you got married did you go ring shopping together you and abby or did you independently go find i independently found it knowing what she wanted because we had been together for 10 years and it was very evident we were getting married and she booked the place to get married before i even proposed so smart there wasn't much surprise in it yeah is there uh they get uh you gotta put down a deposit on that kind of thing um yeah yeah so uh yeah i the there was a style of ring she wanted and i found a guy who makes rings and he made it yeah i went to a little jewelry store and yeah they mismeasured my hand so when i first put it

on they thought it was swollen and you're like no i am i'm a swollen man to get it on i had to use uh like lotion to like slip it on and off uh yeah that's a bad sign yeah it's too small yeah um yeah we just did all that stuff together we went to buy the ring together she bought did you watch the ring together yeah we sat down and watched the ring and then lord of the rings and uh uh what's the third ring movie is there a movie called ring any bells yeah and then so yeah I'm a newlywed

and that's what they have in Vegas they have newlyweds and nearly deads oh do you want to play the newlywed game yeah yeah that's where you find out yeah I find out I don't know. What's the weirdest place you've ever made whoopee.

Yeah. In my butt, I suppose. Chuck. That's one of the all time. Great game show moments. Yeah. Um,

so yeah, it's, uh, it's, you know, I texted you, what do i do on the wedding night and that was a lot of fun and i immediately i'd say within a minute texted you back that uh pick your favorite picture which is uh yoda and the oval office surrounded by politicians who look like they're clapping and he's signing a piece of legislation but he's not he's dabbing and the legislation just says p is stored in the balls it's probably

my favorite work of art and everything about it just sings oh yeah i walked into a art gallery in one of the uh casinos and the guy he was the guy was real because that guy who runs the bellagio andy garcia is a big art collector because of his wife tess that's it could have been no it was in the paris one the parisian i guess um but he right away like started trying to sell me art and he was like what kind of art do you have in your collection i was like i don't have a collection i'm poor i don't have any money i floundered in the wrong door my collection yeah and the guy like they had the art they had was a lot of fun but it's like not you know starting at whatever twenty thousand dollars or something sure yeah that's too much money. I collect a lot of posters. You see, uh, you know, I've got a Beverly Hills cop one. Yes.

I had some macaroni art, but then I got hungry. Yeah. So it feels good. It feels good. Uh, to be, I'm,

I'm in wedded bliss. Yeah. You look at you're glowing. I am glowing. Yeah. Um, cause I don't have air conditioning. That's why. Hmm. Um, cause I don't have air conditioning. That's why.

Hmm. Um, got a thick film on me. Uh, so Dave, do you remember when, uh, Mary Steen virgin,

uh, boy, she had some medical issue. And, but then when she recovered from it, she acquired like the ability to write songs. She had never played music before and then she i don't uh i don't know this at all uh oh yeah here's her wikipedia but i

think she was there was talking about how she might be nominated for an oscar but i think because she wrote a song for one of her movies um in 2007 she underwent minor surgery on her arm requiring a general anesthetic shortly thereafter she began experiencing music playing in her head day and night whoa she took music lessons so that she could write down what she was hearing and by 2013 had written almost 50 songs wow wow that's a deal that's a deal of the century going for in for an arm surgery, get a superpower. That's amazing. Or it might be a lawsuit in the making. Who knows? Depends on the songs, right?

Yeah, it was the crazy frog song from Beverly Hills Cop 2. So that's what's going on with me.ave what's going on with you not as much um i made two kinds of onions um yeah like uh we're talking a chopped and a boiled or i caramelized some onions and i pickled some onions when i caramelize my onions, I like to do it on the barbecue. I put a pan on the barbecue so it doesn't stink up the house. Yes, yes. No one else in the family likes these onions. This is, you put them with what on a plate?

This is a hot dog thing? Oh yeah, there's a hamburger hot dog topping. You can put these in, I'll put them on eggs. Yes. There's a hamburger hot dog topping. You can put these in. I'll put them on eggs. Yes. That's mostly what I'm doing. I'm doing a lot of poached eggs in the morning with avocado and peppers. What do you call those peppers? Roasted red peppers and then some onions, some hot sauce.

A nice little dish. Yeah. That sounds great. And you know how to poach an egg. Yeah. I saw someone posted a picture of why are my eggs looking like this? It might have been in the Reddit for eggs, the subreddit for eggs. And they had these weird alien looking poached eggs. And the person said that

they, people were like, yeah, I don't know, are you just using water or something else? And they said water, but it's water I've already used to wash my dishes, which I boil and then it's sterilized. So it shouldn't be a problem. And it absorbs all the flavors from, uh, from the dishes past. Yeah.

Pretty soapy, I think. Um, yeah. So, uh, uh, onions are the big thing, but. That's fantastic but uh no another thing that happened is yesterday uh around three o'clock abby was coming home from picking up the kids at school and i heard them come home so i uh made my way towards the back door and i said hello to them and they walked in and the they didn't notice anything but abby walked in hello to them and they walked in and they didn't notice anything but Abby

walked in after them and was like oh oh oh my god there's a fire and what and I went outside and the neighbor's patio was on fire oh shit shit and so I just got the hose yeah and I started

yelling and banging on the fence like hey hey your house is on fire and it was like the fire was like on their patio but up against the wall so like the the i don't know what's happened like i out uh took a sniff pulled it out the only way and i uh sprayed it down and this other guy i guess had heard me yelling and he i think he was working he's like a stone worker mason guy working building someone's fence down the street he came over with a bucket of water and i like i'm spraying this this fire which is i was very relieved when i started spraying it and it started sizzling and actually like the size of the fire was getting smaller this guy pours water on it it's smoldering i keep pouring i keep spraying

abby is goes like i'm gonna go to the neighbor's house and knock on the door and uh so she does there's no answer and jesus christ and so and then the neighbor comes out the back door and i they built this house the last couple of years and they moved in, in like February. Yeah. So they haven't been living there that long. We're, and like the first couple of months they were there, Abby and I were kind of just like, we, we were like, are they living there? Like there's nothing on the walls. We can sort of see in some rooms, some some some days it's like they leave the lights on

all night so maybe no one's actually there uh some days there's no car parked uh so we're a little confused like we've met them a couple times but don't know them at all right uh and they but then she comes out and she sees me spraying it down and this other dude standing there she's just like kind of confused. She's like, what's happening? And we were like, your house was on fire.

This was a fire. Okay. Uh, and she's like, the, the vibe I'm getting is like, are you done? Are you done pouring water on it?

Can I go? Yeah. Weird. Do you think Airbnb possibility? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, do you think airbnb possibility no no no that was her this is the owner yeah and so she was like uh we said you should probably call the fire department i mean it's still smoking i it's out but you know who knows like it was right against the wall there might be a fire in the wall now yeah exactly and it's yeah it could be embers are going everywhere and she goes okay and she looks at it and she's like looking around like huh what what do we do here yeah and i could

hear abby at the front and she was calling the fire department i was like my wife's calling the fire department don't worry it's happening yeah it seemed like she didn't want to call the fire department for whatever reason um and so i like the the fire goes out i leave the hose you know over the fence so she can if they need it again they can use the hose yeah so she suddenly becomes somebody who cares about this situation. Well, she didn't. She was like, after I was done, she was like, okay. And she kind of just went over to where the fire had been and got a broom and started sweeping it up.

But it's like they have a, the patio is that kind of wood that, or plastic that looks like wood. Oh yeah. It's all melted there right the wall is totally scorched whoa and she's like not that uh distressed about it she's just like oh man weird um maybe she's on drugs seems like something that was on drugs and uh at the time i was like do you know how it started and she she was like i mean i was smoking out here and i was like okay and i do see her smoking uh and so she um the fire department came and we're like listening the whole time and they were like you you were like two minutes away from this whole house going up.

And, you know, you should, you're very lucky to have these neighbors. And I was like, pretty good, pretty good stuff. Uh, and they were like, this is maybe just $2,000 worth of damage, but otherwise it would have been the whole, a whole insurance claim. The, um, I see. Yeah. So I assume she didn't say thank you uh today i walked past and she said thank you for yesterday she was very confused because she knows me she's seen me before but she did not know this other man in the backyard right who was poor who had and she didn't see him pour water on it so he was just a guy there dude there with a bucket and me being like your house was on fire so she was like okay but they also have cameras everywhere so i bet they watched yeah it's the most popular not

popular fascinating thing that's happened to their yeah their deck for sure in the three months they've lived there and they have um she told me it was like that she was clearing out an ashtray and i guess the she should have dumped it in water first i was like yeah dude now did the maybe try vaping dude did the fire men give you like a pin or something no i didn't get anything that sucks they should have something if you were the one that called or helped well i mean you put it out that's uh yeah well they came and i think they sprayed it with a fire extinguisher as well and they had like a gun like a heat gun to sort of like measure the heat in the wall oh cool either with infrared or i don't know whatever they use on whatever my doctor's office was using from 2021 till present uh and then they uh

oh and then after the fire department came the fire investigators came ah apparently a thing they have to they come to every fire because in the movie backdraft robert de niro he's the he's the fire investigator oh i've never seen it it's actually pretty handsome in it he's pretty handsome in it it's got uh kurt russell is in it and yeah billy baldwin billy baldwin's in it it was huge it was a ron howard and they all the fire and it was real fire like they didn't have the ability to fake it so all the fire is that's hot man that's hot working with fire yeah was uh what's your like most handsome middle-aged robert de niro like you mentioned godfather 2 which i consider young um i think like uh cape fear okay like he's he's pretty

chiseled in cape fear he's got a mustache that's really good on him yeah oh no does he have mustache maybe he doesn't anyways i gotta go with frankenstein yeah that movie i just watched it recently and it scared me that movie it's uh i've never seen it it's grosser than the probably the frankenstein you know 1930s you know what let's go decade by decade what's the so he he's best look what's his best looking 70s movie uh i'm gonna say that the best looking is uh taxi driver taxi driver you like that haircut yeah okay 80s 80s robert de niro this is tough this is tough because now i'm trying to think there weren't the all of his like most famous ones are like 70s and 90s yeah like did what a was no was wag the dog is he in wag the dog i feel like that's a 90s movie that was very 90s

uh you know what the top 10 robert de niro movies of the 80s from movieweb.com yeah falling in love no confessions the mission oh he's he's uh bearded in that one okay looking good the untouchables he's not good looking in that because he's no scar face uh angel heart oh midnight run midnight run yeah that's a that was a good movie maybe it was very handsome that although i'm intrigued by this beard yeah the. The King of Comedy. Oh, that was the 80s? I thought that was the 70s. He definitely has a mustache in that movie.

Oh, yeah. Brazil, he's got a mustache. Oh, yeah. He plays the, like, plumber guy. Once Upon a Time in America and Raging Bull. Oh, see? I would have thought Raging Bull was in the 70s, too. I mean, I got to give it to Raging Bull because he's in tip-top shape and he's wet a lot of the movie.

So that kind of adds a little. I say look up The Mission. Look up The Mission? I saw a screen grab from it, but you're looking beard. Let's see here. How old was he when he had his first kid, do you think? 70. He's had them all in the last nine years um let's see images

oh shit yeah that's pretty good he's a sword fighter guy and he also uh there's a yeah yeah yeah yeah okay i'm for it i'm for it 90s you say uh you say cape fear yeah i like his he looks good in all those casino suits yes he does that's true and then 2000s it's got to be meet the parents yeah of course and then the 2010s meet the parents or you know bad grandpa yeah but dirty grandpa yeah all the bad all the worst grandpas and because he's he's um the war with grandpa last vegas um he uh and then i'm trying to think of like the 2010s to now like the 2020s but he's been in pretty bad movies i think um sure that's fair to say yeah and really just kind of has the same look in all of them yeah it's this look here i gotta see this i was on the search yeah yes that's exactly what he looks like that was a freebie for impressionists

I should have gone to see an impressionist while I was in Vegas they for sure have one oh yeah well I mean you went to that art gallery that's true you're like impressionists check out Monet I don't have any Monet oh no we can sell you Monet no no I mispronounced I don't have any money oh no we can

sell you money no no I mispronounced I don't have any money so you put out a fire you're a hero you're a local hero yeah local boy makes good locavore makes food those are both the stories of my week

yeah i guess i'm sort of a hometown hero yeah and like you but also like if abby hadn't seen it i don't know what would have happened yeah if well because the kids walked right past it and didn't notice but that's because they're short right they wouldn't be able to see over the fence or no no they were they it was visible yeah they just and there was smoke everywhere as well um well that's you know then maybe they saw you put out that fire and they know what to do next time yeah although i also like i'm like uh what kind of fire do you not pour water on again yeah exactly like oil fire or something like oil fire yeah yeah if you're if you have a grease fire you don't no you throw baking powder at it baking soda yeah you cover it as much as you can and you use a baking soda or the extinguisher yeah they also

have those fire blankets what are those for do you have a fire extinguisher or fire blanket i we have two extinguishers i've never used them though yeah uh me neither i feel like i would screw it up because i don't yeah yeah but we did but definitely if your neighbor's garbage bag is on fire because she put her emptied her ashtray into it and walked away. And hose is good enough. Oh, man. Well, that's great. What a week we had. Two milestones.

Should we move on to some overheards? Yeah. I'm glad you said that because nobody says that. Can I just say thank you to you for such a thoughtful interview? Oh my God, yeah. I think you nailed it. Bullseye. Interviews with creators you love and creators you need to know. Listen to the Bullseye podcast only from NPR and Maximum Fun. Hey, I'm Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington.

And I'm Elliot Kalin. Listen, you like podcasts, right? Sure you do. Don't try and lie to me. You're listening to one right now. So why not try a different one called R1, The Flophouse? Uh-huh. And on The Flophouse, we watch a movie and talk about it. And then sometimes we also do other stuff. It's all meant to be funny and fun, and we think you'll have a good time.

And just to be clear, the name of the podcast is not R1, The Flophouse. It's just called The Flophouse. I do a lot of correcting Dan. The Flophouse. It's just called the Flophouse. I do a lot of correcting Dan. The Flophouse. A lot of correcting Dan. Overheard. Overheard is a segment where Dave and I, and no guest, share overheards from our life, from our dramas, from our trials and tribulations.

The trouble with troubles. Yes. And we love hearing from you. If you want to send one in, that's great. And we usually start with a guess. No guess. Do you want to go first? I'll go first.

I can go first. First of all, the trouble with troubles is a Star Trek thing. Yeah, it's little, little hairy. hairy little fuzzy things and they won't stop uh like uh i was gonna say recomposing reproducing yes reproducing and they as they are they killing anything or are they just a nuisance i think if i recall correctly they would fill up a room which would then cause you to not be able to breathe. Okay. But I think I don't know how they solved the problem, but I know at the very end, William Shatner gives a look like, oh, brother. Like, that was the solution?

That was... Yeah. Why didn't i think of that he's pissed off at the whole thing um okay my overheard i don't have one i don't even really have an overseen and uh but the other day i did drop margo off at a birthday party and as i was waiting for it to end I saw a woman Two women walking down the street And one was wearing a backpack on her front Okay And then as they got closer I realized it wasn't a backpack It was like a plexiglass dome

With holes in the top Okay And there was a puppy in it The best way, best way to show off your new puppy Eye level I had some kind of puppy globe. Can I tell you? In Las Vegas,

I only saw him temporarily and then he was ahead of me too far, but he was carrying two puppies in his hand. Guy just walking around too. Doberman, not Doberman Pinschers. What are the ones that are illegal in a lot of places?

Pitbulls? Yeah, Pitbulls. Yeah. They were adorable. Don't know why this guy was carrying them, but they're too small to walk, maybe. I don't know why they're illegal in so many places, because Pitbull, after all, is Mr. Worldwide. Yeah, and he must really feel it

when he's not allowed in a country because of his views. Yeah, because of his name. I heard him on the radio this morning great still going strong do you like you heard him sing or an interview oh sing oh yeah he ruled i guess mc i mean i guess i really just heard him introduce the song that i think usher was singing that's pretty good that's pretty me with a kodak he says and then usher's like give me everything tonight grab somebody stick them tell them hey um my overheard yes please now on the vegas strip uh what was um a good city for overheard

a good city for overheards? It was pretty good, but also, it was just like a din of the crowd. You know, there was so much going on that you didn't really hear people talk, but I did see... Guys, I'm sorry. I just need to

correct myself. It wasn't Usher. It's Pitbull featuring Neo, Afrojack, and Nayer. Nice. Good. Good combo. Usher has a's Pitbull featuring Neo, Afrojack, and Nair. Nice. Good. Good combo. Usher has a different song with him. DJ got us falling in love. I love Pitbull. I like Usher.

We know how you feel about Neo. I love him. Always have. He's the best part of the Matrix. That would be great if that's who it was take this pill and you're turning to that guy um my overheard from the vegas trip it was more how it was said but it was a woman with a group of people and uh she had her hands on her face like kind of pulling down your eyes that you do.

And you're kind of you're trying to make a kind of silly monster face. She was doing that. She was walking behind somebody. And she just said, like, very exasperated and said, where the fuck are we going, Josh? Just somebody who's been putting it is it is a lot of walking if you like you can a lot of the um casinos are connected and they're easy to get from casino to casino but they're big they're big and they're very easy to get lost in so then you end up doing extra steps to get in and out. But that step counter, off the charts. Did you have one?

Yeah. I can't remember if it was $20,000 or $12,000. What's the... Do you have it on your watch or something? No. My wife, she has it on her phone. Okay. Do you remember the first time you heard of a step counter?

Yeah. Tell me about it. I think it was my dad had one. He had a step counter. I don't know how the technology works. I have no idea how it knows how many feet you've gone. It's not how many feet you've gone. It's how many steps you've taken.

That's true yeah not every not every step is going to be a foot i mean certainly in calgary where you grew up there's all that line dancing that's true you're just going in circles man uh i remember the first time i heard of such a thing they were giving that you got one free in a package of uh special k oh yeah special k would be in on it wouldn't they and it was red i think and i think i maybe thought it was funny that was called a pedometer still makes me laugh yeah if i look it up i still i can find it on oh you know what i can get one for five dollars on kijiji in hamilton ontario nice yeah that was before before a phone could

be reliably doing it yeah or a watch yeah yeah watches have come so far it's crazy um now we also have overheards from people all over the map if you want to send one into us you can send it into max spy at maximumFun.org. Oh, boy. Ever since you've been married, you're so bad at remembering our email address. This first one comes from Bill from Chicago. I was at the patio of a local pub the other night and heard the following exchange between two men at the table across from me. Guy one, I went to a naked table across from me. Guy one.

I went to a naked movie night last night. Guy two. What's that? Guy one. It's exactly what it sounds like. Do they put a towel down? I don't know. And also like popcorn, I feel like that's going to get in places. That's fine.

Like I feel like I need to be i need to clean myself off even if i'm clothed yeah that's true it makes it a lot easier access to get the get it in the hole though that's right oh yeah totally or is that just like they don't do that because they're already nude. They don't do that. Like the rest of us. That's the worst. When you're at the nude movie night and your date puts the armrest down between you and you're like, okay, I guess. Loud and clear. What movie do you think they were watching? Naked Lunch?

What's out now? Naked Gun? Yeah, what's out now naked gun oh yeah what's out now uh the super mario brothers movie yeah the new fast and the furious oh yeah um barbie barbie the film which i think would be a lot of fun that'll be a lot of fun um no yeah that's not out yet uh my mistake i don't know what movies are out. I just only pay attention to streaming things now. Oh, sure. I'm sure there's a Marvel movie of some sort. Oh, Guardians of the Galaxy.

Guardians of the Galaxy. And is there a Star Wars thing, perhaps? No. No, they're slow on that one. Yeah, they're a little slow on those. They just do TV shows now yeah the mandalorian and friends variety ever yeah um this next one comes from cameron from ontario i was getting my hair cut the other day whoo yeah and a boy graham does it i going to do it next week, too. Yeah!

An employee that was not cutting her hair held up the phone to my hairdresser and asked, Is this Wayne Gretzky? My hairdresser looked at it and said, No, that's King Charles. Turns out she was looking at what the new money will look like, so he came in a suit. And then they just argued about whether or not we should keep the king on the money. But if you've seen that poster or picture, it's not he doesn't look anything like wayne gretzky you know that's that's for sure and if you were gonna pull wayne gretzky on the money which is totally something we would do you want him in uniform right yeah you want young wayne yeah um yeah you don't want to you know wine now that he makes his own wine and seems to drink it at all times man you don't know that way if you want to drink a hockey player's wine

the airport is the place for you i feel like every airport i've been to has a wayne gretzky wine place i think he also has like spirits now as well wait for your whiskey expand expand uh you miss 100 of the shots you don't take there's there will be a generation that only knows him as from the wine business much like a lot of people will only know dan ackroyd from crystal skull at this point yeah um that's his legacy to us all crystal Crystal skull. Yeah. It's a spooky man. He's a spooky man. He loves motorcycles. Does he?

You know? Yeah. Oh, I saw a car in the casino that only 20 of them have ever been made. Oh, it opens like a transformer, like the doors open, everything kind of opens in it.

Uh, so it looks kind of stretched out. And it was just like looking at a normal car if it was all put together. But, yeah, 20 in the whole world. You keyed it? I keyed it. And that's one down, 19 to go. This last one comes from Ed from Greenfield, Massachusetts.

Overheard from the next room. My 10-year-old playing with some kind of pretend game with my 6-year-old and says, Hey, I may not have a big mustache, but I'm still the chief. And that's, that's how you know. Did the fireman that came to the scene have a mustache? It certainly did. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, the chief chief from Carmen San Diego

doesn't. That's true. She's got a magnifying glass. No, yeah, that's true. Lynn Thigpen, I think was her name. No relation to the great reliever Bobby Thigpen. For what team? For the White Sox. Had the single season record 57 saves uh you follow

you i didn't know that i did you follow baseball i really loved bobby think pen i thought it was so great that you could break a record uh pitching one inning a game so like least yeah yeah i love the idea of like uh you could be you could be a like a millionaire baseball player and they only bring you on to pinch run you don't even have to hit but if you're fast and like another guy gets on base you can run yeah you can try to steal second i loved the little tiny baseball low effort baseball things yeah there was uh i don't know what team it was but uh there was a guy that i clocked that he had a pretty he had a pretty impressive gut oh yeah that's i think he was he was more the uh excellent batter than runner. He didn't look like a runner.

Jogger, maybe. What was they did on the turn on sports? I like sports. And they had a countdown of the top 10 big guy moments in sports. Like when Refrigerator Perry scored a touchdown. Which he wouldn't

usually do because he was defense i'm imagining uh i think he was maybe yeah i guess or was he an offensive lineman and usually just like blocked people i don't know i don't know either i just know that he was a gi joe limited uh yeah character uh he had a sledgehammer right oh sure uh okay well in addition to overheards that are written and we also accept your phone calls if you want to call us our phone number is 1-844-779-7631 that's one ugh spy pod one like these people have hello this is sam from ypsilanti, Michigan, and I'm calling with an overheard. I was in a Taco Bell drive-thru, and there was a couple of teen women at the window, and while I was waiting for my food, they were having a conversation.

And one of them said a car photographer was really interested in taking some photographs of me, and I was looking him up afterwards. And he had cool pictures, but I found out he had a girlfriend, which was really surprising because he asked me out once he was done taking the pictures. And so I got in touch with his girlfriend and let her know that he had asked me out. And so I saw that they had broke up. And then I saw they had got back together, and so i reached out and asked her why and she said ah i'm only using him for his money well off i go no freaking way he was a car photographer and he wanted i want to take

some pictures of you you look like a car i got a couple extra minutes if you want to just stand in front of the car i could probably squeeze you into the shots uh sam i think who um i think he called in he's a long-time listener i think he maybe lived in las vegas oh yeah i that's the thing i was trying to get the sense of what it's like to live in a place that's so just like a touristy place. I think a lot of them work in hospitality. Yeah. Um,

I, do you know which of our former guests is from Las Vegas? Oh, Jimmy Pardo. The answer is Baron Vaughn. Baron Vaughn, Las Vegas is is Baron Vaughn. Baron Vaughn. Las Vegas' own Baron Vaughn. Next phone call. I can't believe I put you on the spot there.

I really embarrassed you. Hi, Dave Graham. Possible guest. This is Matthew from Toronto. Just phoning in an overheard. It's one of the more recent types of overheard that's become popular. Something that was said to me.

I recently posted a video on the Stop Podcasting Yourself Facebook page. It was an ice cream maker and it just put in to say that I think this is something Dave could use. And my spouse was a little bit confused, like, Dave? Dave that we know?

What is this about? So I explained. I was like, oh, well, you know, that's to that podcast. Dave is one of the hosts. He really likes ice cream. His favorite restaurant is Dairy Queen. And at that point, my spouse just said to me um that's stupid and uh or no she said that's that's sad oh i fucked it up okay well i'm freaking believable you know it's the best

when somebody fucks up yeah i like that he changed it to unfreaking believable any variation on off I go or no friggin way yeah there's honestly the further off topic the better and it changes so much when she says stupid to sad sad is a whole other

it is sad that my favorite restaurant is Dairy Queen and I don't even like the hot food. That's right. You're just in it for the cool treats. Yeah, the cool treats. That's right. Your final phone call. Hi Dave, Graham, and

guests. This is Allie in Western Massachusetts. I was walking home from Price Chopper the other day and someone drove by me playing wicked loud Christian hip hop from their car and I must have misheard but I really thought that the song that was on went

Jesus Christ King of Coming but that can't be right, right? I mean no friggin way. Well now I want to know what the actual, what was it? I think it was Jesus Christ, King of Coming. Yeah, I guess, because he comes back to life. Is that it?

I don't know, man. Sorry, we're in the back pages of the Bible, babe. The personal ads at the back of the Bible. It's the best way to meet people who are into the same scene as you. Meet the real king of coming. Old JC superstar. Well, I think that's the end of this here. Well, I guess Dave's a hero.

I'm a married man. Sorry, ladies. And also gentlemen. Graham's wifed up. Yeah. I'm a married man. Sorry, ladies. And also gentlemen. Graham's wifed up. Yeah. So you had your chance. You blew it. Out of sight, out of mind.

That's right. And happy, happy as a clam I am. And thank you, everybody out there for listening. We'll be back next week. Oh, and from all of us to Graham. Hey, congratulations, big guy. Hey, thank you. Thank you.

That means a lot. Yeah. So if you like the show, every week I'll talk about me getting married. And a new wrinkle will happen every single time. Oh, yeah, sure. Your wife burns a hole, iron hole through your shirt. Yeah, you know, and then if you add them all up, it'll tell you a secret message. Did you mention your wife's name? I didn't. Her name is Sally. Hi, Sally. Yeah, hi, Sally.

Congratulations to you as well. Yeah, you're the best. How long have you known this lady? Long time, like over a decade. Huh. Yeah. And I've met her. Yes. Okay. Yeah. And uh yeah it's been it's been wild man it's been you know emotional or whatever they say uh what emotions did you have tell you before we say goodbye just list off some of them scared oh uh tired uh excited um uh you know shy uh that wedding night i know well i brought the sheet with the hole in it so uh i was ready to do it and and i also bought some popcorn just in case to put through the hole or yeah or to be okay for the nude movie okay Okay. Well, this is fun. Yeah, this is fun.

Thanks for listening. I'm back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. Maximumfun.orgorg Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Audience supported.