Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 805 - Jason Klamm

Episode Date: August 22, 2023

Writer and podcaster Jason Klamm joins us to talk his ‘90s sketch comedy book, Ninja Turtles, and Quicksand.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 805 of Stop Podcast Yourself. My name is Graham Clark. And with me as always is a man who I bumped into on the street and I didn't realize how svelte he is. Mr. Dave Shumka. I don't think I'm svelte. You're svelte.

No. You're svelte. No, you don't think so? I mean, I don't know that I've changed much since you last saw me but i'm beardless that's maybe what you maybe saw more chin that's true maybe that is more chins more chins so it's funny like now that you don't have a beard it's hard for me to picture you with a beard and then vice versa when you have a beard i have a hard time picturing you smooth honestly it's hard to picture me it's speaking chins, in this light, I can't see where my face ends.

Like there's just neck, mouth and then neck. On the Zoom call? Yeah, you've got mouth and neck disease. Yeah, I've got hand, mouth and neck disease. That's great. And I've been shaving and I love the stuff. I got my, you should ask me about my setup sometime. I very much will be asking you in short order.

But anyway, I got a shower mirror. Okay. So you're wet shave, not dry shave. Yeah. Is anyone dry shave? Oh, you're like electric? Oh, no, no, no. Come on.

But yeah, I got a, and I was, I've always been like, wouldn't, wouldn't it be great to shave in the shower? And we, you know, and when you ask me about my setup at some time, I will bring this up. Uh, but I got a shower mirror and I couldn't figure it out. It's got like a, a place to put water in the back. Oh, okay. And I was like, do you use cold water or hot water? What am I supposed to use?

You use the water, the the same temperature as as the shower you're in okay and it's just a mirror that's got like you know 300 milliliters of water in the back yeah yeah well you know what when if we ever talk about my setup well you know i'll definitely take you through it shaving wise bit by bit yeah um our today, first time guest on the podcast, but a guest that both Dave and I have been lucky enough to be on his podcast with, which is called comedy on vinyl. He has a book coming out called we're not worthy.

And you can find out all about other things at sketch comedy book.com. It's Jason Klum, everybody. Hi, Graham. Very quickly. If, if Dave is not indeed svelte you could just say he who svelte it dealt it and i will say that you were svelte

yeah dave's all i got that's all i got yeah you know what i used to be in a band called svelte were you yeah and all we sold t-shirts but they were tiny for tiny um no i really was You're for tiny. No, I really was. But, you know what? My body's not on trial here. Jason, welcome to the show. I'm glad to bomb so quickly.

Yeah, that's cool. No, it's the delay. Sure. The laugh is coming. It's on its way. We're in a different time zone. Jason, let's get to know us get to know us graham our guest is jason and he has i think for the first time ever speaking of t-shirts he's got a a custom t-shirt uh possible guests possible guests i don't think

a guest has ever dressed up to be on our show no and also if you look at his setup just off to the side of his head he's got our picture

up on the computer yeah waiting when you would notice yeah he did that for some reason I guess just to compare if you were wondering Graham if you can't remember

what I look like with a beard look at that picture of me there on his computer oh yeah there you go yeah um Jason thank you for joining us where'd you get the shirt made beard look at that picture of me there on his computer yeah there you go yeah yeah um jason thank you for joining us where'd you get the shirt made are you a shirt making guy um uh gentlemen

i'm a 43 year old man who still gets birthday money and i got my birthday money and decided i wanted to learn how to screen print so this is literally the first thing i screen printed and everything since then has come out shit absolute garbage but this came out great i mean it looks like the kind of thing that you would get like you would you would iron on letter by letter but it's so take us through the screen printing we'll get you sure yes all right let's uh let's let's start so i used cooper black font is that where you wanted to start i knew it was cooper i knew it was cooper Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, the font is absolutely at the top of my what I know list. Okay, and then...

What do you really want to know? I guess I'm more interested in... I got birthday money. I got some birthday money, and so I learned to screen print. Did you take lessons? Did you buy a whole setup? No, I've been wanting to do it for years and i just watch a lot of youtube i know how screen printing works but i can't afford to do the chemical version so i've got a vinyl cutter

behind me and i cut a little vinyl stencil and i and i went with the the squeegee and i made a shirt that's cool is it do you how many things do you need you need like a little v as a squeegee you need a squeegee you need the screen you need the ink which is basically paint you need you need like a little v as a squeegee you need a squeegee you need the screen you need the ink which is basically paint you need a shirt uh and then something to make the stencil or the picture with and i only have a again a vinyl cutter well happy birthday thanks so much dave and congratulations on that money coming in that's pretty good um did you ever go they were quite a thing in the early aughts there was a lot of shirt shops that you could go in and have something custom yeah printed or they had

like a big binder and you could get a picture of david hasselhoff or something ironed onto a shirt or chuck norris a chuck norris joke yeah where i grew up there was nothing that good we i grew up in a very small town in upstate new york and there was nothing nothing like that that sounds amazing i would have killed for this is the early 2000s we're talking about okay well by that time i lived elsewhere so but still no still no yeah here there was a big store called bang on bang on that's right and uh they were expensive too getting a especially if you got the like cooper iron-on style uh it was it was pricey but worth it you know and they had those ring ring shirt i'm sure sexy yeah it was

sexy it was a sexier time i think yeah it was very um american apparel yeah yes yeah this is Yes, yes, the sexiest company of all. You know, the cobra snake. Very freaking indie sleaze. Jason, how the hell are you? Welcome to the show. I'm great, Dave. Thanks for asking. I'm now getting very self-conscious that I'm going to be making mouth noises through this whole thing, and I know you have to edit them out. Oh, don't worry about that. I'm so sorry. Don't be self-conscious about that. I to be making mouth noises through this whole thing, and I know you have to edit them out. Don't worry about that.

I'm so sorry. Don't be self-conscious about that. I edit audio books. That's what I've been doing, and I'm now aware that I'm going to have to cut out every mouth noise that I made for a six-hour audio book, which is gross, and I hate it. Oh, my God. So, okay. This is, I want to jump right into this, because I just watched an episode of Just Like like that last night where uh carrie has to record her voice for her book uh-huh it's and it's so difficult for her mostly because of the subject

matter but watching her do it seems like absolute hell it's difficult for because of the subject so she's like she's reading her book and she's like this sucks this subject matter sucks yeah she keeps making this noise yeah yeah um yeah it seems like hell on earth because uh like i'm not i don't think i'm particularly good at reading out loud but uh uh having two people watch you while you struggle it seems like it would be pretty awful. I do it all on my own. That's the bonus. Okay. And I'm a very good cold reader.

No, don't want to brag, but I'm a good cold reader. However, I have realized since starting audiobooks a few years ago that I can't go more than 20 seconds without taking a big, obvious breath. So I get 20 second takes and cut because that's, by the end of it, I'm talking like this and I realized I can't use it anymore. It's, uh, yeah, I don't know if I have lung problems or something, but I guess we'll never find out because of American healthcare. So there you go. That's true. Well, you say you learn a lot from YouTube, so you could probably do a little self diagnosis. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sure. That's not a bad idea. But like, I think people, people, you know, people are okay with breathing. But like, I think people, people, you know, people are okay with breathing. Like a lot of listeners are like, Oh, I think this person's a person because they're breathing. I wonder that about audio books though. And so if I catch my, if I hear a breath, I will cut it out of an audio book of a podcast. I do almost zero editing.

Anybody can tell that by listening to anything I've ever put out. But now is this, uh, why, why do you have to record all your your podcast or sorry your book stuff yourself is it just because it's easier for you to do that no the company that i do it through so the books that i'm reading are not mine they are very dry oh i thought this was your book no no i will be doing mine and i have done others of mine in the past but no i that is my day job basically is right now is doing an audio book that was written by a teacher for teachers. So the driest thing you've ever read. That sounds pretty dry.

Oh yeah. It's called, does it have a cool name? No, no, no, they never do. It's a teaching a book by teachers for teachers.

Is it like teaching tips? It's like, Oh, you know, you know, you know, make sure you get called the, the, this kid for detention, you know, make sure you get called this kid for detention.

Yeah, and use one of those chalk pens. Remember? The pens that you put chalk in the end? Yeah, if a kid's bad, make them slap the erasers together after school. It's all about having that thing that had five pieces of chalk and carefully doing it across the board evenly. I think that's more like a music teacher i think that's what it is or a bad english teacher i don't know yeah um yeah man oh man do you remember there was like a chalkboard uh clean cleaner brush there

were short ones but then there's sometimes there were long like kind of more shamwell style ones that was that was a big uh i remember like every few weeks or months there would be like a big cleanup and you you know i feel like some teachers would include the students in this and it would be like get a wet cloth and really sure oh yeah ham on the jog board i guess they i i honestly don't know i have kids in school and i don't know if they have whiteboards or blackboards. No, they must have whiteboards and smart boards.

I'm sure smart boards are a thing there too. What's a smart board. I don't know a ton about it. Um, I have a lot of, maybe next week you get a little bit of birthday money next year. You might learn. Thank you.

That's my next investment. Thank you so much. They're like a digital whiteboard i guess there's digital shit and projection and all that crap yeah i would be self-conscious about my my writing if i was writing stuff because you know how they'll say it and write it at the same time i don't know how you master that holy shit no you wouldn't be able to read anything i write the war of 1812 yeah what were we talking about again oh yeah the war of 1812 i once i i like my one of my strongest school memories is uh i wasn't even in school at the time i was working as a janitor and uh someone had written this on a blackboard had written this

math problem and i was like well this is just why why do they leave this here and not do it it's the easiest thing i've ever seen uh-huh and i did it it was so fast and at the time what were your feelings towards apples i boy okay well there was this guy who turned out to be the brother of Liz Lemon's boyfriend from 30 Rock, but he had a ponytail and he wanted to date this girl and he couldn't get her number. I got it. And vis-a-vis apples, I asked him if he liked them. I personally, there was, I never weighed in on whether I liked apples. I personally, there was, I never weighed in on whether I liked apples or not. Yeah, there was a lot of shift in tone there.

That it was you and then also the brother from Liz Levin's boyfriend. There were a lot of levels I played. Yeah, I just learned that that's who that guy was. That guy's so funny. He's, i don't know why he doesn't have his own show but i'm not here to solve hollywood's problems no although this would be a hot time for me to get in there as a scab and really pick some ideas it's a good idea liz levin's boyfriend give him a show give dennis a show money please there's people who i guess uh have crossed the picket line to write soap operas that's it i think we already talked about that my friend well that's all i got good

night everybody uh jason you uh so you uh graham and i both were guests on your show comedy on vinyl i remember that where we talked you asked us to talk about uh comedy albums we liked what was yours dave mine was uh billy crystal's you look marvelous oh yeah you like wore a tuxedo or whatever was he that character he was a bunch of things throughout and it was stand-up as well but i don't know why i chose it i didn't particularly love it my it was my brother's album he had it on vinyl i think probably because the show was called comedy on vinyl uh-huh a lot of people i think picked stuff that they realized at the last minute like i don't know that i necessarily give a fuck

about this at all people would pick and be like i I'm going to talk about like Andrew Dice Clay. And by the end I'd be like, so why would you recommend this? And they're like, I don't think I would. And I, which is fine. So,

but yeah, we would talk about a lot of shit on that show. When you listen to, if you've have ever listened to Andrew Dice Clay, now it seems like people must've been insane back in the day to make him so huge. Yeah. Yeah. now it seems like people must have been insane back in the day to make him so huge yeah yeah the man literally swore and and told nursery rhymes you can't even see him doing the thing with the cigarette on the record so i'm not quite sure how what the what possessed people to buy

you look at the cover i guess you know there'd be notes with him doing that notes that tell everything he did yeah all his stage directions were written in uh jason what did you have a favorite comedy album oh now the hunter has become the hunted oh how do you like them apple i don't know if i have a favorite i hate i don't hate comedy albums now but i'm tired of them so it's hard to uh fucking uh cheech and chong something no you didn't i like it did i did like cheech and chong no i'll say weird al's in 3d that's that's a good one that's a reliably good record and it still is good and funny so yeah and we talked about that a lot and weird al was my last guest on the show oh cool yeah yeah

yeah yeah what was his favorite? I don't know that we talked about that. It was mostly me just kissing his bottom the whole time because I just was really excited to talk to Weird Al. We probably talked about Stan Freeberg and shit, you know. Oh, yeah. Sure. Freeberg.

Don't care about Stan Freeberg, but I talked about him. There's a lot of that, too. There's a lot of people who come on and like, you love this old-timey fucker, right? And I would just be like, sure yeah and freeberg was element song guy no that was tom larer and we and he might have also come up at some point too that was another influence who was hello mudda hello fada that was fucking what oh alan sherman sherman is alan smith. That's not the right name.

Jesus Christ. I've been out of the game a while, boys. And that's another thing. Like, just picturing people sitting around watching a show and somebody singing Hello Mudder, Hello Fodder and just losing their mind. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was just, it's so funny to look back. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It was just, it's so funny to look back. I remember reading a book that talked about how original and hilarious Sam Kinison was. And then you listen to him, you're like, this guy just, he's deranged. He's not saying any punchlines or anything. He's just screaming. He would be arrested for the things he's saying about women today. I understandably so. Yeah.

Yeah. It's troubling. I did have somebody. It's troubling that he would be arrested. Yeah. Yeah're right that's what i just said because of the woke mind virus yeah i know these oh god these guys so troubling to me you also like uh weird it's like we're like beret or kind of like a rasta or something like that yeah yeah that was a fucking look what was the story you told me graham about him in the airport oh yeah that uh that one time he showed up to be picked up at the airport for a gig

and he had no uh luggage and he was just dragging a hair dryer by the cord and that was all he had oh man that would have to go into that biopic that they were going to make about him years ago right like they've been trying to make this biopic about this troubling asshole for so long and but that that should go in yes uh what's his name uh who's oh god i know he's in bigger things now he was in balls of fury the heavyset gentleman i can't remember his name i'm so sorry but he does a very good sam kinnison uh but i feel like that's kind of uh i mean it's cool that he can do that but is that worth a 90 minute two hour or two and a half hour movie about that man i um yeah i remember uh russell crowe wanted to make a bill hicks biopic as well jesus christ

like probably discovered bill hicks at 50 and yeah like, this guy gets... He's not like 29 and realized his 22-year-old mistake. He's now too old to realize that this is just sad. Like, it's okay. Bill Hicks is fine. I guess I'm probably pissing off people who listen to my show, but Bill Hicks is just okay, right? I never... I was told to listen to it by many people and then i was like this is fine

this is fine yeah like thematically it's fine and interesting but he's just i don't know he's a doofus i think he's a doofus okay okay let's watch the language here um yeah uh anyway um sam kinnison in the same book he was a very quiet quiet and gentle kid until his head was run over by a tractor. And then he suddenly became very violent and angry. Nope. Changed my mind. I want to see the movie now. Never mind.

I do love that. Like, because you talked to, we talked to so many comedians and, you know, you hear stories like, yeah, I kind of like was always funny. And, uh, you know what? I grew up watching standup and I thought, hey, you know, is it possible that you could make a living doing that? And then I would love to talk to someone who's like, yeah, I was sort of withdrawn.

And then tractor rolled over my head. Story's old as time. Yeah. That story you just told Dave, I cannot count the number of times that that exact story was told on my podcast. No shade to anybody whose life story that reflects. No, and that's very common.

It's people, you know. But it's boring. Yeah, but like I think that's the true of most people who go into any of the arts. I suppose. It's like I was a fan of this thing. I didn't realize I could do it for a job and And then I realized I could do it for a job. I still didn't realize that, though. Keep realizing.

Keep reaching for it. You'll realize it eventually. No, I'm good. Okay. So, Jason, you've written a book. Mm-hmm. And the book is about 90s sketch comedy. That's right.

I'm a big fan of 90s sketch comedy. This is all over the world or this is north america or i picked north america okay now if they let me expand it all to uk okay other english-speaking sketch what was your uh because dave and i were both interviewed for it right yeah you were we david was not david no that's why the second edition i would like i literally because i had to interview 150 people i had to pick people who were on sketch shows first and not people who i admire who also liked sketch shows that's my next thing would be fun i'd like to add that for the second edition um but graham is someone who was

not on the sketch show hmm he well he was on i was on this i was 22 minutes oh you were that's right but not in the 90s no not in the 90s but he grew up seeing it in the 90s and that's relevant there was also a show dave will probably remember it called smith and smith's comedy factory remember that with morag and her husband uh had you heard of that jason that one did not come up weirdly i interviewed people from like codco for everything that i could find why didn't that one come up well smith the guy went on to the one of the most famous canadian shows the red green show oh okay oh you know what shit i that in fact i did but i didn't write about it because I couldn't get him. I wanted to get him and his wife.

I wanted to interview Red Green. He's all the way retired. He doesn't do any Red Green stuff. I don't care. I don't care. I want to talk to him. I interviewed other retired people. I interviewed a guy who was on your show of shows, for fuck's sake.

I could have talked to Red Green. He could have given me funding. Well, if you can get him. Here's down in Florida, and he doesn't want to do anything he's throwing out all his duct tape and he only makes things properly yeah on the show there would always be a segment where they would sing an original song

and apparently that was because there was no comedy show category at the whatever Canadian Screen Award so it had to be musical it had to be musical or variety so they just sing these like songs about being happy and picking yourself up and all right um what are the uh like what are the big canadian ones kids in the hall yeah kids in the hall 22 minutes 22 minutes i did speak to one person from air force sure oh vacant lot to a lesser degree vacant lot was on for a year uh the frantics

there was that four on the floor was that what that was called four on the floor was that mr canoe head yeah yeah boot to the head was that the 80s maybe i don't know yeah and yeah maybe yeah if it fell outside of the 90s at all i i didn't bother touching it because it the book's already too long so i was just i was yeah so anything yeah before or post was yeah if it started in the 80s or whatever and continued into the 90s cool but did you get uh did you get lauren uh oh yeah me and lauren had a long discussion i wish uh that would have been fun i mean i say i wish it would have been it would it would it would have been boring but i would have because he said everything that he's gonna say i'm pretty sure right i i do know his old comedy partner i do

know hart pomerantz and i tried to get him for the book, but that didn't work out. That would have been nice. Isn't he like, he's like a high-priced lawyer. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and he has some fun things to say about Lorne, but I never got those on tape. Really? Oh, shit.

Well, now's the time. We're on tape right now. Uh-huh. Okay, Jason's tight-lipped about what Hart pomerants had to say about i want to come from his lips is all what's he gonna do sue you yeah yeah what the hell yeah uh i remember reading an interview with lauren michaels where he like realized that he wasn't going to be a an actor and things anymore because he was talking with somebody who was like really acting on stage and he was like i'm just in my head i'm just repeating the lines

that's all i'm doing but this person's like emoting and he's playing a character so he stopped when i realized i wasn't going to be an actor was when i was it was in an acting class and there were some really good actors and what i realized they all had in common was their heads were all run over with farm machinery not just tractors no but some plows threshers sure yeah you didn't stand a chance dave that's that's that's too bad uh you want to talk about other canadians i interviewed oh yeah yeah who else did you did you you didn't get luba goy did you get luba no i tried i did try and sadly that that didn't happen i got your your mike myers okay uh when you got the okay from his publicist were you like swing that's exactly what i said yeah and i yep uh i interviewed mike myers because i did a chapter there's a chapter in there about wayne's world because i figured that was justified the biggest sketch-based movie of the 90s

and of all time pretty much uh let's see who else we got uh keith johnstone very old man it might have been his last interview i'm not sure because he passed away after theater sports yeah pioneer yeah there's a whole chapter about theater sports and comedy sports he was very funny and very he at one point he was like uh uh here real quick one i want you to time how long it takes me to stand up because he wasn't feeling well so he's just like here i'm standing up now and it was great that was how long was it it was like it was a solid 30 seconds because he's like he was 90 or so i did interview one person whose name i will not say so as to not embarrass them but they're like during the whole interview they're like

man keith johnston meant so much to me i just wish i could have spoken to him before you know before he passed and at that time keith had not passed and at the interview at the end of the interview like um so just so you're aware keith uh he's still around if you want to talk to him and so i did connect them i don't know if they ever got to speak, but it was a very awkward. I was like, yeah, uh-huh. Hold on. I will tell you first in a second that he's still alive, at least for the moment. And he's actually on this call.

He's just getting up. Yeah, he was trying to get up from the last call I did with him, but he didn't get around to it. Any other notable Canadians? I'm sure there were. I don't know why I started that line of questioning, because then now I've forgotten everybody I interviewed. Carol Burnett's not Canadian, but I interviewed her. Does that count for something?

I'm sure she's been to Canada. I'm sure she's been. Bean. There was a weird... Been Bean. Osama Been bean over here that's the goofy terrorist

yeah it's uh what is his name Jeff Dunham or whatever oh I guess so Ahmed the dead terrorist um yeah the fact like I interviewed Jeff Dunham that was a great I did not that will never happen oh my god that would be amazing

you know you do a book on puppetry of the 2000s I interviewed Jeff Dunham. That was a great interview. I did not. That will never happen. Oh my God, that would be amazing. It might. You know, you do a book on puppetry of the 2000s. And of the penis. I guess, would Cranky Anchors be on the puppetry of the 2000s? Cranky Anchors. Yeah. Anchors. They would be the puppetry. They would also almost borderline be sketch, but thank God that wasn't the 90s.

I had to make a lot of like sort of executive decisions about what was and wasn't sketch for the sake of the book what wasn't sketch kids shows i did like briefly talk about all that because there's a contingency of millennials that i think would have hung me if i didn't write about all that so i did briefly who was on all that that's not something we had here oh okay uh keenan thompson got to start there oh uh little little amanda bines uh those two are it to the best of my knowledge i mean it were keenan and kell on that yeah both of them were on it that's where good burger started i don't know if you've seen the film good burger but that is where but i don't remember anything about it i know they worked at a burger place but that is true

and they like orange soda um these are things that I'm told by, again, younger millennials who really love it. Also, I think that's on the cover of it. Aren't they dressed like hamburger guys surfing on orange soda? I feel like that's... That sounds right. And then they did a whole episode of News Radio based on it. Really? Weirdly enough.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They really liked the movie Good Burger so much that they did a thing set at a burger joint. Yeah, they are. That's them there there look at them go oh no their surfboards are like a pickle and a tomato oh shit okay but on the orange soda they're surfing on a burger but there is like an explosion like a geyser of orange soda behind them just did you talked about mad tv no doubt yeah i had to um uh

the bonus is everybody interviewed about that was fun i liked mad tv me too i think i did too the first few years but i think eventually it sort of fell apart for me but the first few years i thought were brilliant um yeah what was hard for me was one time someone was doing a like they wanted to do a sketch and this was in college someone was doing a, like they wanted to do a sketch. And this was in college at like a talent show. And they wanted to just do verbatim one of the Stuart sketches. And I had to explain to them that I didn't want to be in it. It was like, you go ahead and do it though.

Guys, I'm leaving the group. I don't feel good about this. Well, yeah. And sullivan i remember her being particularly funny i thought she was great i tried she's from like near my hometown in upstate new york so i thought that connection would go through or something yeah but then i'm talking you know what's great is everybody wants to hear about the interviews you didn't get and so that's what i'm giving you yeah yeah yeah christ what solid fucking work this is you i so uh man tv was on fox yeah and it was i remember being like 11 or 12 uh in the years before mad tv and watching the fox um like uh their early sketch comedy shows and they had the

ben stiller show sure yeah and they had a show called the edge uh-huh i did interview julie brown julie brown was on the edge and so was jennifer aniston yeah and tom kenney and wayne knight oh yeah wayne knight yeah and alan ruck from ferris bueller's day off yeah yeah yeah and paul feig it's a weird fucking cast it's a weird show and then i just remember there was a character named cracklin crotch who was a uh who was like a cat like an old-timey cowboy movie guy but every time i think it was rick overton played him and every time he like entered a scene the overwhelming crackling noise coming from his crotch would just be like would drown out all the

dialogue jesus christ like that is one of those there are a bunch on that show where conceptually that sounds like a fun sketch that i would enjoy and then they don't really execute uh for the most part yeah uh i think there was a thing on the show at the end of every episode they all got killed yeah that was yeah i think it might have been the cold open where they got killed every time. And then the show went on from there. If I'm not mistaken. And there were really cool, like animated things in between the sketches by Bill Plimpton.

Yeah. Holy shit. That's like a really crazy talented cast. And I'm sure it was like a very expensive show to make back then. It was. Yeah. And then by all accounts, that's one of the reasons it got canceled.

But you keep saying you keep like, uh, you have, you seem like a skeptic to all this you're like yeah i'm not sure it holds up about these things yeah most things don't but then you is that in the book is yeah yeah at the end of all these you're like meh but not no i address it throughout and i do at some point have to be like hey by the way real quick all these shows did blackface i can't address it because i'm not the right person let's move on tv did other uh characters oh yeah wouldn't hold up to scrutiny oh big time even at the time probably didn't no yeah no though that that uh hairdresser lady or whatever

miss swan miss swan yeah she's a problem i interviewed bruce mccullough bruce mccullough i'm just gonna go back to the canadians dave th Thomas. Dave Thomas I interviewed. Who else we got on the list? Just going down. Scott Thompson. How could I forget that I interviewed two of the kids in the hall? That's dumb. More than we have. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. That's right. We've only interviewed one. Mary Walsh. I got your Mary Walsh. I've got your Mary Walsh right here. Do you, because sometimes I will watch an old sketch from a 90s show uh and i'll be like i will acknowledge that maybe it's not so funny anymore but there's a big wave of nostalgia that

oh of course i'm like oh i was staying up late i was 13 and i was very late watching the first five episodes of in living color i realized i basically still had memorized i could like at least in my head i knew exactly what line was coming next for the first five as i re-watched them wow okay yeah yeah because i watched that shit religiously it was like water cooler talk i remember getting so excited when i was watching paul fiction that phil lamar was had a small bit in it i was like oh my god my tv oh he's dying he dies he gets shot in the head pat and oswald wrote that sketch too the the one where they parody where they do gump fiction where they mix pulp fiction and and uh pulp fiction and forest fucking gum i couldn't was that for what for the edge for mad tv no that's not mad tv it was like on maybe the first episode for mad tv

yeah him and blaine kapach got hired and they did that together. David Cross wrote there for a week, which that, it's like one of the three revelations in my book that nobody's ever written about before. David Cross wrote for about a week but pissed everybody off

and didn't like his time there, which is no surprise. I didn't like my time there. It was five days. Yeah, yeah. I got this job through a temp agency uh am i wrong to say that there's more sketch now i feel like there's more sketch if you like assemble all the social medias all the vines all the you know if you count that stuff yeah but as

far as official tv shows reality tv is so cheap to make they don't make sketch anymore but that's fair yeah youtube and and tiktok have taken over yeah it's it's weird because there's a new there's a new language for it which is like i'll say a word but cut it off mid-word and that's like that's a joke oh yeah i didn't finish the word kind of thing and that is like absolutely a technique that people use now oh okay do you know more about it than i do i don't i mean and it works for the most part i think uh but yeah it's weird i don't yeah it's a lot of sketches where one person's playing all the characters and they yeah back and forth and they'll go back and forth and i guess they're just holding a

selfie camera oh boy i've tried i've tried i can't yeah i mean look hey i can't get my i can't figure out the axis of action i'm uh both characters end up looking the same way who are they talking to you're constantly breaking the the 180 degree rule yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i get it um yeah but it's like uh sketches now are like they can be under 15 seconds and still be a complete notion. Yeah. And we know somebody who does, uh, Darcy Michael, he does kind of like little,

little sketches with him and his husband and they're huge. Yeah. We know a lot of people who do like, you know, characters on social media. Well, that's true. We do.

Yeah. We've got, uh, we've got a lot of friends that do that. Uh, I can't, I can't crack it. i don't understand it if i record it and then i have to be the one who watches it and edits it oh no i so what i've been loving lately is past guest mark little uh he does these these improv sketches that are about you know a minute long and it's him and his buddy i don't know it's a friend's name i'm sorry um and uh friend he's also a comedian it's not just mark little's friend some

dude yeah uh but uh they're so funny check out mark little mark little so funny lisa gilroy so funny sure there's there's a list there's a list luba goy if she was still around ukrainian canadian queen we stand still left roger abbott is roger are we talking about who's alive from the royal canadian air force because i don't want to be a part of this conversation she's the only one i know fumbling for names fine then let's do just the stewart sketch from that tv if you're okay who do you am i gonna be the you're still wealthy dowager oh yeah it's stewart his mom and the wealthy dowager sketch comedy 101 um uh jason have you ever have you done any comedy have you participated? I've been doing sketch and improv with my best friend for 30 years, uh,

since we were 13. So like, you know, we're little guys, but we, yeah, we're doing a 30th anniversary thing this year because we've, it is,

it's my passion. That's why I wanted to write this book specifically, but I had to pick like a, I couldn't do a history of sketch comedy, which is a good thing. I didn't cause Keegan, Michael Key has a book coming out. That's exactly that at about the same time as my book uh so i picked

something that i figured people my age could relate to and probably have too much nostalgia for which is 1990s tv sketch comedy i figured it was about about time yeah yeah yeah but yeah i've been doing sketch and improv for where where do you do it you got a regular place you do it or you do it all over i go nowhere still uh since the beginning of the pandemic that is no exaggeration other than moving from la to detroit uh other than that no so i and only on camera i think dan and i have only really performed on camera we've never done it live we do sketch comedy albums which is one reason i loved doing that podcast we've been doing albums since for like 20 years and that's that's really the form that it takes because we legitimately do love cheech and chong even though neither of us were potheads growing up yeah no i remember thinking

they were so funny when i was a kid and having no idea that they were high in any of the sketches just like these guys are dumb these guys are two dumb guys yeah dave dave is there you're talking to dave they literally have like a grammy award-winning producer doing the sound design Dave is there. You're talking to Dave. They literally have like a Grammy award-winning producer doing the sound design. They sound so good, even when it's the worst sketch. And some of them are terrible on re-listen, but a lot of them are great.

And they sound, they just sound too good. They're kind of like the Adam Sandler albums, which I absolutely don't care for, but they sound amazing. And I'm sure if I were to listen right now, they'd'd probably be good yeah that that's a big nostalgia one for me i've gone back and listened to a few of them i think a lot of them like you go on spotify and they'll have like the two songs available on the 18 tracks on the album because they're like hey maybe people don't need

to hear is one of them fuck me in the goat ass dave is that one of the plays uh that is um that's not a song uh well it's not a song but there are sketches on these albums yeah yeah yeah that's from the when they met the goat uh-huh what about the is it the one with the the shampoo bottle is that yeah there's that i don't know if that's available yeah it's a medium pace sure yeah um i'll admit that's pretty funny yeah you know what it's mostly the hanukkah songs that are okay i mean that's fun yeah it's a good song it's an enjoyable song he's a joy joy an enjoyable doofus and i really loved his uh recent special yeah me too i thought it was really funny was it good i did not see it i'm not the world's biggest Adam Sandler fan and I,

I very much enjoyed it. Everybody told me I would. And you know what? They were right. So good on him. Am I remembering correctly? This is the one where he does a tribute to Chris Farley in it, or is that a separate situation entirely?

The song is that just separate? No. Yeah. That's in it. I think. Oh, it's in it. Okay.

I'll watch it then. And it's recorded at all different types of places. It's not all in one theater kind of thing. So. All right. I like that. Yeah. You're on,

I'm on, I'm on Spotify right now and his album, what the hell happened to me? All the sketches are grayed out, but all the songs are on there. Okay. I'm, I'm concerned.

I'm coming across as a sketch comedy hater. I do genuinely love this shit. I really do. Otherwise I wouldn't have wanted to interview these guys but like the big one was like the state so i interviewed like three or four people from the state and four people and oh i'll say david wayne wrote the foreword for the book that's the other thing that's the other fun thing about it we never got the state up here it was i know it's huge in america but we didn't it was before streaming stuff so and now if you

try and stream it all the songs that are in it are replaced so back then you they could have had a nirvana song in a sketch but now it's with a sound alike because they nobody will pay the rights so it's not the original version anyway so it's gonna yeah it blows yeah it does so right right just fucking ruined my life oh man fuck man all this 90s disillusionment i'm so glum gonna drink an okay soda there's literally nothing i can say that dave cannot find a way to pick apart is that what i'm doing yeah a little bit it's great this is the joy of listening to the show and now for some reason i'm here when we were talking about chees and chong it jogged a memory for me that i've i've had

several dreams by the way you know the the like dance band cnc music factory did you know cnc stands for cheech and chong i yes i did and how do i know that that's one of those things that makes you go hmm i have the similar dreams where i'm at a, like a really shitty movie theater that they call the grindhouse movie theater. And two times in my dreams, it's been a Cheechatong movie, a filthy looking print and like, and not a,

not a done up print. And so you can hear the projector and how, so it's been Cheechatong twice. How many times have you had this dream? Like four or five where I'm at the same, like I've never had a recurring dream yeah i don't know why it's it's always at this shitty cinema and uh and it's cheap but none of the good movies will go there yeah it's cheap it was a dream you didn't lose any money the concession stand is really good but it's oh yeah what do they got

there they got smarties they had smarties i remember that they had cotton candy which is i don't understand why they don't have that at movies but i've been having a recurring thematic dream and that is uh literally that something will happen in a dream and i will then think shit i need to write this down as an overheard and that's happened twice in my dreams and i can't remember them um so i just feel like i should point that out that welcome to my world man i bet i need one a week every week i know no i couldn't i couldn't handle that yeah well you've seen them you you've heard them the quality dips and uh dips and doodles as uh you know adam sadler would sing i will say this is my favorite podcast so i don't care like you could you could

just do about anything i would listen so it's okay oh that's very kind of you uh it's the truth it's the truth david david what's going on with you man what's going on with me man is oh boy not very much um i, what is it? Uh, so, uh, believe me when I look back on my week, I was like,

Hmm. What I, what I sometimes need to do when I look back on my week of things to talk about is like, I go through my pictures and I'm like, Oh, cause I took a, I went to a place and I took a picture there.

Uh, one thing we did is, uh, we took the dogs to the dog beach. Oh yeah. Hell yeah. And, uh, we don't, we're, our dogs are, um, one and two years old and they're insane and they're not well-trained at all.

We can't ever let them off the leash. We've never been to a dog park. Uh, monster is the, the small one. And he is, he will never be off leash at adult dog park pretty much he's never gonna get over whatever and that's fine um now it's am i wrong in saying that dog beach is the only beach in vancouver that you can bring a dog to or can you bring a dog to other beaches you can bring a dog anywhere but it's the it's an off leash it's an off leash okay and so we planned it out because we used to take our old dog grandpa to the dog

beach when it was super low tide and there's you can walk forever and the ocean's so far away and you're just walking on muddy sand and uh so we took our dogs there and we let them off leash because there was so much room and it's so far from the road that even if they like didn't come back to us for a little bit they there's they're in no danger of running into traffic or anything right and there were no like for like the length of two football fields there were like no other dogs around and it was like the most insane looks on their faces they were having the greatest time of their lives uh so i you know i not much happened other than they loved it and i loved it and everyone was happy for once in our lives did grandpa used to like

drink a lot of salt water and then yeah so there was a time grandpa was very stupid yeah and so we if we ever brought him to the beach and we brought him in the actual water he would just drink all the salt water and uh because there was nothing in his brain like his brain was like the the skull was uh there had to be something there but the brain was empty um but these new dogs didn't fall for that uh so much although irma is a big uh water enthusiast and she loves to splash like we have a little kiddie pool we put in the backyard sometimes she loves to splash the water and try to cat like she'll splash the water and then try to catch the splash in her mouth or she'll go under put her nose underwater and blow bubbles and then try to bite the bubbles this is so i'm not sure there's a ton going on in her brain either

and then uh and by the end of the day it was clear she did drink some salt water it came out one way or the other um yeah it's uh like are there a lot of dogs at dog beach or is it depend on the weather or it depends on uh the time of day the weather the tide uh the beach it's like you know summertime and it was a saturday and you go to the beach on a saturday it's impossible to find a parking spot and it's impossible to get there without a car so uh you uh it was especially with a dog it's where every evo in town when you're looking at oh they're all the beach or they're all around the baseball stadium those are the two places that everyone goes to and the car share Evo that we

have in the city. Well, we went there and it was Saturday morning and, uh, so there's a, like a series of parking lots by the beach. And, but over by the dog beach,

there was one parking lot and it was completely full. And the next parking lot over was like a car show. Like a bunch of people had brought their like old fancy show and shine there were like 80s ferraris and uh like lotuses and just like kind of i think it was like an 80s and 90s centric classic car show which um uh is but there was no sign saying you can't park here if you have a Subaru. All you needed to do was put some fuzzy dice on the mirror and then roll up your sleeve. Like you were a rockabilly guy and everybody be like,

yeah, that's your car supposed to be here. This guy checks all the boxes. But yeah, no one, no one stopped us and they couldn't. I would have driven right through them. Yeah. And they, the power of would have driven right through them. Yeah.

And the power of the Corvette compels you not to. What I will say about the beach at low tide is it smells very bad. Yeah. It smells bad. It's like Dog Beach is not a beach you would go to to sunbathe. You would go to a Kits or you would go to. Yes. There's more appropriate places.

Um, but, uh, yeah, you would go there if you wanted to like have a dog run up to you and be all wet. Yes. Yeah.

Uh, Jason, are you a big beach guy? No, hate the beach, but, uh, that's not true.

Why did I say that? I really should. No, I actually, I, when I lived in LA in la that was a nice that was a fun adventure usually when it was there was yeah uh i think we have beaches here i think you moved from la to detroit yeah there are great lakes what am i saying i know there are beaches here was there any specific reason or you just like time for detroit um uh la it was mid early pandemic so like a year and a half in and uh it was getting way too expensive to live in la and not have a job because by that point everything had dried up so a little bit of savings from all of the extra money california's incredibly generous government gave us just enough to move and we knew we would have housing here if

we moved here so we did we did and it ended up working out because i couldn't sell a book in la but you know eight months into here yay oh nice that worked out yeah that worked out um cool is detroit cool i feel like it's cool it is uh and having been here before i can actually say that despite not having really seen much of it since i moved here um yeah it's beautiful it's very nice we we live in the suburbs the city has uh you know all kinds of art museums and stuff that i haven't yet gone to um but you know and there's a there's a kind of a there's a bit of a comedy scene which i haven't explored yet okay that will that will happen at some point it's not huge huge. It's no LA or Chicago. Have you had Detroit-style pizza yet? Oh, yeah.

Yeah, a lot. What is that again? It is basically ciabatta. It's like deep dish. Yeah. But the sauce goes on top of the cheese, typically. And the cheese all burns on the side. Yeah, like the crust is like a burnt cheese crust, which is...

So good. But you can only eat one piece. I got like a whole thing of it, and I was eating it for like five days. Do you know when you email someone and it says, yeah, I can pick a BCC, or you know, it stands for burnt cheese crust. Yeah. And if you pick CC, it's again, Cheech and Chum. I can eat two slices, Graham, but that is because I am a pig is it it's uh square it's square angle typically yeah it's hell you very dense yeah and a little oily depending on where you get it but

yeah sounds like my ex-wife very dense and oily what was her name again yeah oh my ex-wife yes yes chabata chab Shumka. Did she take your last name? Yeah, that's what I was curious about. Chibata Shumka. Well, she hyphenated. Chibata Shumka bread.

Ooh, whirlwind bread. When you hyphenate for a wedding, for the wedding, we're hyphenating our son. Do you do your married name first or second or is there a convention around this i believe it's second yeah because shirley

temple black was that's that's the one that i i base all of it on yeah oh shirley black temple sounds much cooler yeah she's in a death metal band yeah uh yeah olivia newton john yeah is she married although i don't know her i don't know if she was married at all because julia louis dreyfus that was not that was a hyphen maybe from her parents yeah maybe or um then you've got keegan michael key whose first name is a hyphenate keegan michael yeah oh yeah and then well i guess in friends it was everyone was uh courtney cox our cat jennifer aniston our cat yeah that's right matt leblanc our cat that's immortalized him our cat is uh he has that if nothing else i mean of course he's in the scream movies uh and he plays the

same character and i'm not going to tell you what happens to his character but uh you'll be surprised i think you'll be pleasantly surprised oh does something happen to his character in the new one or is he still in them he's still well yeah he's still in okay well i think you've spoiled it something happens to his character in the new one comes back as it goes what happened to him let's just say he's not with the police force anymore wink wink oh oh because they defunded the police in those movies yes yeah that's right the other thing uh that we did this weekend is uh the whole family went to see the ninja turtles movie oh my god yeah how was it it looks really cute it's let me tell you they uh so poppy our youngest was like i want to see that movie because

we we've seen basically every kid's movie in the theater for the past four months yeah and there's always trailers for more movies and uh margo was adamant i do not want to see this ninja turtles movie right it's not for me and poppy was like i want to see this yeah and by the day of we were like it would really help us out if we all went like if we didn't split up and have to think of something else to do so uh we went and then on the drive down there to the movie theater we were asking the kids so what do you know about the ninja turtles going into this and they're like uh they're they're turtles correct one point and each of each of them has a different color. Correct. Two points.

And that's all they knew about it. Well, what else do you need to know? We kind of had to like, we were like, oh yeah, okay. Well, what do we know about them? And then we went to, oh yeah, and one of the things that Poppy knew was like, John Cena plays a rhinoceros.

Oh, is he a rock steady? He's rock steady. Cool. Um, is my favorite actor. Honestly, I couldn't imagine anyone else having those four lines in that movie. Is it Seth Rogen somehow connected to this?

Seth Rogen produced it and he plays bebop. He's bebop. Does, uh, did the turtles have an all-star cast? all child actors really yeah oh wow adorable and they're really good together and apparently they like recorded it all together like oh in a room together yeah the four the four of them they did that with the peanuts cartoons as well it was all kids and they had them in the same room together because i think probably be really weird for a kid to be reacting to nothing yeah they're stilted enough

as it is that makes sense good i mean you know that's adorable is the movie is it good it's uh yeah i think it's good um you know what it was uh i don't uh i kind of struggled with this i would i see it if i didn't have kids no right okay yeah fair enough but i think people who like that kind of thing will like it yeah i for me it's very i'm surprised that ninja turtles have lasted this long that it's become a dynasty that uh because i just assumed like the last ninja turtle movie like ninja turtles in time that was gonna kill it and uh but no it is resilient it's been on multiple it's been on oprah they did go on oprah to promote their music tour and then i think at some point doesn't a

a guy a foot clan or something enter and they have to go shredder maybe shows up shredder's not in this movie by the way oh no okay contract dispute oh it's superfly right uh superfly yeah did you know who that was no no no there's a bunch of invented for this movie maybe i don't know that's why but there's a bunch of like mutated um mutant uh ninja animals of various species but was there there was a fly character in the original show right baxter stock baxter stockman yes yes yes and if you want to go if you think you're gonna see krang you're not gonna see krang you gotta save something for the sequel krang came along later in the series i had stopped watching the series when krang came along really yeah do you mean the movies or the tv show tv show was he was krang season one i feel like krang was season one

yeah i was more episode one i think i probably have the first five episodes memorized. Yeah. I, uh, it was, I think the Ninja Turtles movie when we went to go see it live, that was the most fun I'd ever had watching a movie far and away. It was like, there was the scene at the beginning where you see a silhouette of, uh,

one of the Ninja Turtles. Oh man. I mean, our collective genes were creamed. He says damn in it. And I remember being so excited that Raphael was going to swear. Yes. He was like, oh, my God.

He said, damn, that's so good. Raphael is. The red one. Yeah, but the scythes. What were the things called? Scythes. Scythes. Yeah.

And then he. I know Leonardo leads. Donatello does machines michelangelo is a party dude what is rafael he's cool but rude oh that would explain the damn yeah although in the movie the rap incorrectly says he's the leader of the group transformed from the norm by the nuclear goop which is not accurate and it's not it's ooze for one thing it is ooze it's not goop it's uh yeah gwyneth paltrow has made that distinction over and over again during her career she's always like no it's not ooze guys i'm goop stop calling me ooze um uh i did a uh a twitter poll a few months ago and the

question was which is cowabunga and because i was trying to find out which is the emoji for cowabunga ah okay is it a wave there was a surfer on a wave yeah there was this um the hang loose yeah there was a little a boy a little blonde haired boy representing Bart Simpson in my mind. Yes. Yeah. Okay. And a turtle. Although maybe I could have added like a karate man to the turtle.

Yeah. I think of those. I picture the wave. The wave came in second. Really? Came in second. The overwhelming winner was the hang loose hang loose okay 53 percent uh 19 to the turtle and two percent to the little boy yeah it's hard it's hard without

the actual bart simpson emoji but i think you did your best little blonde boy yeah um so yeah that's what's going on with me saw them turtles and what's going on with you graham um not a lot uh one thing speaking of movies i watched a movie last night that is the worst movie i've seen this year it uh i've been keeping track and this is absolutely checks all the boxes was it pixar's elemental yes and uh it was too confusing for me why are these people water and fire i don't get it i just sat with my arms crossed the whole time i don't get this um no it was a movie on the uh horror streaming service shutter movie called quicksand and it was uh it was a real throwback because remember when we were kids quicksand was everywhere it was a it was a huge problem it was uh and a lot of times it was uh made like dry sand it was dry sand that you got sucked into um but it was impossible to get out of that's all i remember

quicksand uh if you're going in any forest anywhere there would be quicksand and it'll swallow you whole yeah it'll swallow you up to the waist you'll you know maybe someone can throw you a vine yeah yeah yeah vine is important uh very important and uh so you know there's a long time whenever movies like this where it's like quicksand or tower you're like just get to the quicksand part i know i know that they're gonna fall in quicksand so let's speed up this uh exposition a little bit um but they go uh they're staying at a hotel and then the the concierge says he's like don't go into don't go into this area it's there's snakes there and it's dangerous like a resort hotel or is it in a city it's in a city and they're in bogota plaza

it's home alone too lost to new york with quicksand and the concierge says don't go in that area and then they want they don't they go on a responsible hike but then they're chased by a by a robber so they have to run into the dangerous place they're told not to go and uh boom bada boom they're in quicksand right away she falls in the quicksand first then her she goes under and then her husband jumps in oh they're about to get divorced too that's the subtext of the whole movie is there yeah you can't they work together give them a little business to work with and the actress i wasn't familiar with but the actor is from a canadian television show called republic of doyle oh is it the main guy the main guy yeah the whole time i was like

where do i recognize it from is he from like a kia commercial or something like that republic of doyle is where i know republic of doyle is sort of like a now this is maybe i maybe russell crowe was on an episode of this weirdly uh but i believe it's like a newfoundland rockford files yeah yeah and he's uh he's kind of he's he's handsome in a very conventional handsome way it's not uh like us yeah exactly why aren't we in quicksand yeah well once i get uh denn Dennis from 30 Rock his own show, we're going to be next. I feel like if you're doing a movie about Quicksand, the leads have to be attractive because that's all you're seeing of them is their heads. Yeah, sure.

At least, yeah, upper bodies. You can skip leg day if you're going to be in Quicksand. So, if anybody wants to watch Quicksand, this is the time for you to depart because it's all spoilers from here on in. Did you ever listen to, there was a Radiolab episode that came out, oh, a hundred years ago. About quicksand? About quicksand. No. And just how it used to be featured in uh so many movies and yeah like uh and it was like

i feel feel like it used to be a um like a synonym for quagmire giggity giggity yeah and uh so like an inescapable situation uh but they were talking about like people used to call the vietnam war a quicksand oh i see okay we're in real quicksand with this i feel like this is sincere this is sincere okay this is a recurring dream i've had i feel like quicksand was also featured very prominently in gary larson cartoons i feel like that was it was a good trope and it's in lawrence of arabia uh in a scene that is completely fictionalized based on uh this guy's life just the popularity of quicksand they're like yeah there was no he never encountered quicksand going through the desert um yeah so this is the one thing they say is that you can't as long as

you don't move you don't sink because the mud is how am i gonna start when i'm in bogota and i'm listening to those latin rhythms try to try to stop me i'm like we can have bernie's two over here um i don't know now i'm questioning whether it was bogota anyways it's in south america for sure um and then uh you know what i like you know what i love about bogota what everything's buy one get one see this is why i thought the first thing i said would have gone over okay but yeah well you know you needed to nothing i should have established the fact that i'm almost funny and then and then said it later maybe sure well whoever's felt it dealt it right is that it that's pretty good yeah when you say it sounds better

when you say it is it no because you've got more of a chin than i do and by the way your your your perceived lack of chin david is not i have none i have none you know but you've got your your shading your lighting in your rooms a lot yeah i know i've done that on purpose yeah it looks good you got a ring light i know i hate that part i could do that but i won't see you um so this couple up to their up to she's up to her neck he's up to his waist and they find there's a guy at the very beginning that goes into the quicksand uh it doesn't have anything to do with the plot at all, but they find him in the quicksand and he's got a backpack. So they use their backpack as a bag of tricks to try and get out of the quicksand. And also in this area, there's all sorts of very venomous snakes.

So, you know, one of those is going to show up. And it does and uh this woman who's never shot a gun before like sharpshoots the snake and uh runs away like she's the best aim possible for a gun now if so he's in up to his waist and she's in up to her neck does he ever like you know uh you know pick her nose or make her eat it yeah yeah there's a lot of that there's a lot of uh put up your hand so i don't poke you in the eyes i'm not touching you really give her a lot of wet willies and then so they have a friend back at the hotel that they were supposed to rendezvous with and he slowly puts together the puzzle of where they went. He knows they were going on a hike.

And then somehow he finds the guy who robbed them because he's wearing the same backpack that the guy recognizes. And he's like, that's my friend's backpack. So he interrogates him. He says that he's in snake swamp land. That's where they are. So then all sorts of stuff happens he gets bit by a snake she has to uh perform a surgery on his neck so that uh the venom doesn't go everywhere in his head and uh perform a surgery don't you just suck it out

yeah yeah yeah i'm not interested in that at all by the way what if you're ever bitten by a snake I'm not sucking anything I don't care if it's on the juiciest part of your body I'm not doing it I just don't think I like the taste yeah no but you'll never know it tastes like chicken my favorite taste so anyways you know in advance she one of them's gonna get out for sure she manages to throw they make a rope out of the backpacks oh yeah this is the other thing so there's they've got this backpack they take apart with a knife so that it strips of fabric because they're gonna lasso a tree stump and pull themselves out but it doesn't reach but you know what does if they get it a snake so they have to capture the snake and turn it into a part of their rope while it's alive no they kill it but then she's gotta

somehow make the snake rope and she gets out and he republic of doyle's like just go i'm not gonna i'm not gonna make it and so she uh runs out of the forest and then somehow she's in this deep forest uh an ambulance comes exactly to where she is and uh and you're like okay well that's kind of kind of a heavy ending she's the only one who uh who survives nope but five minutes later you see him coming out on a stretcher and both of their clothing immaculate oh i was gonna ask that i was like she's been up to her neck in this thing do they play with the wet t-shirt uh trope yeah yeah all the guys from the ambulance are doing shots um but it uh yeah so she her shoes your shoes would come off that'd be the first thing you'd lose if you tried to get out of a,

Oh yeah. Her shoes are on, they're clean. Uh, his shoes are on, they're clean. We just walked on the beach. It was very muddy,

mucky sand. And yeah, you lose your shoes immediately. Yeah, exactly. So that's the movie quick sand. If you're interested, it's on shutter or,

you know, know uh illegally stream it whatever you feel is right the thing about that movie it's probably hard to find illegally like a smaller movie like that you're gonna have to subscribe to shutter for yeah and you know what it's worth it it's uh if you're if you're searching for because every year you've got to have a best movie you saw and a worst movie. And so far, this is the front and center. Every year you've got to do that? I have been delinquent in my duties.

But every year you see, this is the best movie I've seen all year. And then a movie less so. But it just doesn't mean that you maybe haven't seen it yet. Maybe Turtles is the worst that you see all turtles was fine turtles were good okay yeah uh so i've watched that pixar's elemental i gotta say low point of the year yeah so there you go that could be your worst at the as the whole year progresses jason what's the worst one you've seen this year

i don't see anything new i literally i don't leave the house so i don't what the i don't see anything new i literally i don't leave the house so i don't know what the i don't the worst movie i don't um i feel like my wife maybe watched some some old shitty thing or we re-watched some old shitty thing wives are always trying to get me i know god yeah yeah that movie i watch an old shitty thing which is there's only one bang Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Yeah, yeah. Did you know that when you send an email and it's CC, it's Chitty Chitty? And it's blind CC is Bang Bang Chitty Chitty. Bang Bang Chitty Chitty. So that's happening.

What do you got? The music to Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. If you want to go go through it we can do it now or we can do it later so so jason has pulled out the music for shitty bang bang do you play music no i don't know why i have this i was a hoarder for a long time of vintage things because i'm uh too white and this is one of the things that made it in there i like this movie um but there we are i apologize i interrupted for that i've never seen i've never seen it i haven't seen that i haven't seen um uh herbie the love bug uh what about the shaggy detective you've seen the shaggy i haven't seen any of the whatever magical world of disney sunday night movies that they would show uh well you're messing up the shaggy detective about a guy who's

a dog solves the case it's great is it the one with the the there's like uh sometimes there's like a 10 second clip of this movie that uh with the dog who punches dick van patten in the face or whatever yeah because it's a dude in a suit yeah like a real kind of an okay suit but have you seen the dude who's now like trying to transform into oh yeah into the lassie lassie dog yeah um you know what all power to him as long as he's not humping any legs or taking a shit on uh is it a suit or is it surgery it was a suit okay it's a suit and it's very realistically if you didn't know it was a guy in a suit you just think it would be a dog with kind of a slightly weird walk but then if he came up to you and said right around you you'd be like holy shit this dog rules i can i change my answer i just remember the worst movie i've seen this year it's actually a tiktok and it's an asmr guy uh and he's got two breast implants in his hand and he says

today we're going to chew on my grandma my dead grandmother's old breast implants these were in my grandmother for 10 years and she had to take them out because she had breast implant disease and but she gave them to me and he's just left them to him and her will and he's got like very manicured eyebrows his eyes are very intense he's like takes care of his skin and then

he's got big luscious lips but when he puts the breast implant in his mouth it acts as a magnifying glass and his mouth gets enormous and it's just the noise of him chewing on this thing worst movie i've seen yeah that's pretty bad pretty bad bad uh plot construction and surprising surprising twist at the end that he chews well yeah no it's the plot it's actually shakespearean um it's actually uh one of these one of these uh stories we've been telling each

other for thousands of years yeah exactly it's the oedipus complex right you want to chew on your grandma's plastic surgery work but i would have thought that those would go in just medical waste they wouldn't let you keep them oh yeah i mean well you bought them you you can uh i want them. They're mine. They're my property. That's vile. There's a funny comedian in Canada named John Steinberg and he had brain surgery at one point. Was it after the tractor went over?

Yep, post-tractor, as any great comic has done. But he asked if he could keep the part they removed and the nurse said, what are you going to do with it? And he was like, what are you going to do with it and he was like what are you going to do with it

I like him I like his seedless grape joke he's very funny he's one of my faves do you guys want to move on to some overheards how about a little bit of business let's move on to a little bit of business if you don't mind

Well, that sound means That we have a little bit of business In the form of a Jumbotron Yeah, and what this means is Anyone out there can contact us Go to MaximumFun.org slash Jumbotron And you can have us say something Yeah, you can make us say whatever you want we'll say we're

sort of like yeah we'll be featured in the book of puppet uh you know modern puppets because people just tell us what to say they move our mouths for us in the modern era had we started this podcast you know a shorter time ago that we would be on cameo this is how you get us to say things would be on cameo no but now we're on puppet and you gotta get us on puppet and puppets p-u-p-p-t there's no even yeah it's just p-p-p-t they're they're interrupting or disrupting the puppet business uh well and this uh this message this is one this week for wesley annabelle steven and eden and the message goes like this and the message is from daddy this one is from daddy yes hey kids

this is just a hello from those guys that daddy's always listening to in the car and in the garage you know that thing on the radio where it just sounds like a bunch of people laughing over each other and sometimes they say the f word or the s word don't ever say those words or you'll get me in big trouble i added the big because uh he will be and also if possible hey rob yeah rob yeah rob hey rob thanks for listening uh also wesley annabelle steven and eden we're very sorry for saying the bad words. Yeah, but you know what? It's his fault for playing them in the most fun place in the house,

which is the garage. The garage. Where he's always got the car running for some reason. Well, should we get back to the show? Yeah. I'm Emily Heller. And I'm Lisa Hanawalt. And we're the hosts of baby geniuses

we've been doing our podcast for over 10 years when we started it was about trying to learn something new every episode now it's about us trying to actively get stupider and it's working hang out with us and you'll hear us chat about... Gardening. Horses. Various problems with our butts. And all the weird stuff that makes us horny. That's so weird, all that stuff. Baby Geniuses, a show for adult idiots. Every other week on Maximum Fun. Baby Geniuses, we know everything.

Baby Geniuses, tell us something we don't know. The following pro wrestling contest is scheduled for one fall. Making their way to the ring from the tights and fights podcast are the baddest trio of audio. The hair to beware, Danielle Radford. It really is great hair. The Brit with a permit to hit, Lindsay Kell. The queen is dead. long live the Queen! And the fast-talking, fist-clocking Hal Upland!

See, I can wrestle and be an announcer. Get ready for tights and fights! Listen every Saturday or face the pain. Find us on Maximum Fun. Don't ring the bell. Overheard. Overheard. Now, Graham, before you do these overheards,

you off air, you sang a little bit. We were talking about Chris Gaines, no, Chris Isaac songs. Yes. And you could only think of two, but you did sing a little bit of Wicked Game. And I think everyone would like to hear that. Oh, I don't want to fall in love.

Oh, that video was filthy. Remember? Oh, it was hot It was hot They went to the dog beach And they rolled

Can our debut album too Be all Chris Isaac covers? Is that possible? Well that sort of defeats The purpose of us Of a show Where we write a song A week

It doesn't You've given up And by album two You're just doing Chris Isaac Yeah alright We'll just spend an hour Writing Baby Did a Bad Bad Thing doesn't you've given up and yeah album two you're just doing chris eisenstein yeah all right we'll just send an hour writing baby did a bad bad thing you've lost so much you never really think the heart is gonna break into i don't think so good pretty good right really good

um uh this segment where you hear things you report them here to the podcast and we always like to start with the guests jason do you have an overheard yeah i got a few but i'm not going to do them all obviously that would be rude overheards i've had a few but then again i used to work at this shitty place with some funny people in it and i this is so old you'll know it immediately dates itself but it was just the way it was phrased and i do have a second if that's okay but that's we don't have to do it but i'll do it after the two of you do it if you want me to do it i'm hedging um so i'm edging yeah i'm edging i was just gonna say uh i've been before the podcast started. Wow.

This young lady was talking to one of my coworkers and said, I watched this movie over the weekend. It's about a baby, but it's not like a regular baby. It's a boss baby. One of my favorite things I've ever heard a human being say sincerely out loud. How old is this person? She was like 17. so it was completely excusable and adorable but it was also very fucking funny it's also like what if it hadn't been boss baby

what she's talking about like bringing up baby yeah but not a baby but a cougar yeah i guess sort of the wolf of wall street is about a boss baby. Yeah. You know what? It really is. So childish. So we'll go around. We'll do your other one later. Yeah. And then that's probably around the time we'll stop edging. Yeah.

And I think you'll be impressed by what we come up with. Yeah. Dave, do you have an over? I do. This is one. I, so yesterday of all days, I went to Trader Joe's in America. I did an early morning trip to America because I was like, hey, maybe if I leave really early, I can get back early and have my whole day ahead of me because I had to pick up a package in Blaine and then I had to and then i was like

i'll go to bellingham washington go to trader joe's and it was 8 30 in the morning when i uh finally got stuck in bellingham they have rush hour too oh i got stuck in another city's rush hour and uh what uh what kind of tunes were you listening to you had just the mp3s or were you listening to the you know you're listening to bellingham's home of rock yeah i was listening to the bellingham the the home of bellingham rock they played all the local uh singers yeah uh you know pearl jam these are uh who's from bellingham specifically oh say like ben gibbard might be. Is that one of the almost live? He's one of these from Death Cab for Cutie. Oh, Death Cab for Cutie, sure.

But I might be wrong about him. But doesn't Ryan Stiles have a theater down there? Yes, that's right. Improv Theater. Anyway, that's neither here nor there. And I don't want to talk about it. But I was in Tradere's and there were some uh what i like about getting to a grocery store early in the morning is everyone's like chatty

like all the people are stocking shelves and they're um the beginning of a new day yeah the employee like the place isn't too busy yet and they can they have time to like talk i've gotten a few overheards this way but um there there was uh a couple of young ladies uh in one of the aisles and they were talking about um one of them said as soon as they announced ryan gosling as ken i was like oh yeah this movie's gonna rip. You know what? They were right. And then I kind of hung around them for a little while, and I also heard her say,

also, Will Ferrell is a very funny person to me. He hit. He hit hard. Oh, he hit hard. Okay. So the reviews are in. He hit hard sounds like a caveman phrase or something. Yeah, he hit hard. Boy, yeah, this food.

Oh, this hits different. This hits different. Yeah, so good caveman review of that movie. Yeah, that sounds great. I'm going to see it again based on that review. Yeah, it rips. It rips. And it hit hard. i uh my overheard

isn't overseen it's uh something i was uh bored and googling just different things to see what was happening with uh who who or whatever so one of the things i google was urkel i just want to see like what's the latest what's the latest news about urkel one of them punko pop on its way steve urkel okay pop also the supporting cast of uh family matters you've got your original val johnson's gonna be on it that that was the guy that um that played the brother what was his name oh yeah he was like he was urkel's he was like urkel's idol was uh was the brother laura's brother yeah laura's brother laura's one of them the mother is the only one the mother and grandmother are not included because what about the aunt uh no

aunt rachel uh yeah yeah uh when they say the rachel haircut that's i think of her that's what i wanted yeah i wanted the what was her name the Thelma Tompkins? Ah, yes! Yeah, remember she had a diner or something? That was her like... She had a kid that was kind of cute, but not all the way you know, Olsen twins. Well, the first couple

seasons they were figuring out what the show was and then they landed on it's not about cute kids, it's about Urkel. It's about Urkel. So then, one of the things, if you type Urkel into the news search. Anyway, it's Darius McCrary. Darius McCrary. Played Eddie Winslow. Eddie Winslow.

Laura Winslow's part of it but i was i looked urkel under news and apparently he's joining uh a new star wars show that they're filming and one of the headlines said finally jaleel white joins star wars universe finally it's all led up to this yeah maybe there's been a big like bring jaleel white to oh star wars yeah absolutely uh he would have been a great jar jar he would have been a great jar jar and he really would have like he could have cashed in on his catchphrase uh you know did i do that with my mind because yeah did did did misa do that with my mind? Yeah, did Misa do that? Is that okay to say? What?

Can you quote Jar Jar? Can you say, never mind. Do you know that the guy who voiced Jar Jar really had a super hard time after that? He was really, really severely upset that everybody hated the character so much. Yeah. But he just stopped speaking so people won't know it's him.

Did you hear the story about how Michael Jackson really wanted to play Jar Jar? No, but that really... I think they had talked about it him and George Lucas really... I think they had talked about it, him and George Lucas, and then I think Michael Jackson invited George Lucas to a concert, and George Lucas brought the guy who was going to play Jar Jar

and said, this is our guy, and Michael Jackson got all weird. Yeah, that was the first time he got all weird. Yeah. That was around the same time he wanted to play Edgar Allan Poe, if I remember correctly. Oh, really? That was going to happen. he wanted to play edgar allen poe if i remember correctly oh really i thought that was gonna happen michael you wanted to play bill hicks i hope it's russell crowe that stars in that movie uh still yeah why not yeah um now we also have overheard sent into us by people all over the place jason had another one yeah sorry go

around the horn i don't mean to impose, but the only reason I feel it's relevant is that it does take place at a Dairy Queen. Just a second. We're just going to complete our edging.

And there it goes. At you. Oh, that's so wholesome. I don't remember why I was at a Dairy Queen. Probably getting ice cream. Yeah, pot eats cool treats. What else do you want? A brazier burger? You know, I don't think they have was at a Dairy Queen. Probably getting ice cream. Hot eats, cool treats. What else do you want?

A Brazier burger? You know, I don't think they have that. That's what sucks. We only have the ice cream here. One young gentleman turned to somebody who worked there, just said, dude, did you hear earlier when I said the blizz clearly talking about a code he'd come up with for the blizzard and the other kid was like, yeah, man, I'm tired of hearing about the blizz. He was so upset that this guy won't stop talking about how he'd invented a new phrase for it. blizzard and the other kid was like yeah man i'm tired of hearing about the blitz he's so

upset that this guy won't stop talking about how he'd invented a new phrase for now dairy queen should pick that up i would happily order a blizz oh absolutely um just for this kid just for his ego yeah i mean it's really cool it's not that much cooler yeah you know how we talk about it's like the biz that's just the blizz you know yeah um now we have uh overheard sent into us from all sorts of people if you want to send one in you could send it into sby at maximum fun.org this first one uh comes from andrew andrew m in uh brooklyn uh took a day trip from brooklyn down to the jersey beaches, walking along the boardwalk at Belmar, two guys pointing at a couple of the charter boats that take people out fishing and other excursions.

And this whale watching thing? I mean, where are the whales at? Great question. Yeah. It's one they're trying to answer every time they take that boat out. Where are the whales at? Yeah, they got to start chumming the waters. Yeah, I've never gone on a whale-watching boat,

so I don't understand what happens if you don't see a whale. That's it? You just go home and whale? Yeah, you go home empty-eyed. Well, you weren't going to get handed anything. But I've been whale- whale watching once from a plane oh that's that's kind of probably a lot uh a lot more fun than being in a boat no i don't know well yeah for me i don't like being in boats but um it was uh it was good

but you know you don't really get the same effect as i think if you see a whale from a boat i think it's crazy yeah it's probably crazy yeah yeah if you see it from a plane you're like there it is there it is but you probably with the plane you get to see the whole bod you get to see oh yeah nothing to the imagination yum yum she had a fin that went from here to yeah yeah and to quote a guest of ours from before she shows whole who said that i can't remember about what i don't remember i just remember that being the first time i had ever heard the phrase um there's this part of the world you see why i mean people see whales quite a bit yes just like hey some whales swam past yeah and people get pretty stoked about it but yeah it's not like a it's not

like another worldly experience like if we saw a hippo that would blow our minds you know it would be yeah um fuck hippos are cool hungry though almost constantly yeah twice twice hungry twice hungry uh this next one comes from angela from toronto i was in a shopper's drug mart and there was a lady on her phone in the same aisle as i walked past i heard her say oh i've totally done that i've hit someone in the head playing golf for sure this guy with his long haired comedian guy. Now she can say four. Yeah. Four.

Um, now shoppers drug Mart, the shoppers drug Mart in our neighborhood, it's got a bunch of, uh, like, what would you call it? Like stock photos outside. Yeah.

I have like an older woman, uh, you know, looking at her iPad or, or a woman in a field flinging her arms in the air yeah a woman just a pretty lady drinking a cup of coffee and then there's one of a couple and the woman in the couple is rubbing a dandelion on the man's throat oh yeah to see if you know this one i don't know what the deal is but they're like laughing it looks like she's trying to tickle him but it's uh i i've always wondered about it

and then i went forget where i was but i was in another city and i saw they have the same picture oh sure on that shoppers drug mart and this is a does every shoppers drug mart in the country have the same stock photos of this uh weird couple maybe they're not stock photos maybe they took those photos especially for shoppers drug mart and that's maybe just part of it well look i'm just i want to get to the bottom of it uh if anybody knows call in yeah like yeah if you go to your walk past canadians walk past your uh closest shoppers drug mart take a picture see if there's that couple rubbing a dandelion on the woman rubbing a dandelion on the guy and also the lady in the field with her arms spread wide is the yeah okay we get and you know we'll accept it all uh you know just put that in

the facebook group i guess i don't want you to email me that. I have heard podcasts try to solve bigger mysteries or smaller mysteries even. So, I think that's a good one. Yeah. Who are these people? What do you mean these people? Well, what do you mean those people? Oh, man.

Jerry's going to get canceled for this. For his whole line. For this. This lesson's from Sam from Victoria, BC. I was hiking with my kids and listening to our eight year old talk to our six year old about jail. She said,

jail is not a nice place. If it's your birthday, they won't come in with a big cake. They just come into your cell and just say happy birthday and slam the door. That's good. It's the least they could do. Yeah, and it's just like, man, that really, that's a scared straight program right there. That's my favorite scene in Oz.

Happy birthday. Yeah. Happy birthday, Steve. Happy birthday, motherfucker. I'm Dennis from 30 Rock. I'm on Oz. He was on Oz, right? Yep. He was on Oz a lot. He played Adebisi? Adebisi, he's a character actor.

You see him all the time. Ernie Hudson was part of it. There's a guy who was on the show. I'm forgetting the name of the show. He was a part of The Wire. And he was an undercover cop on The Oz Show. And then got addicted to heroin. And also J.K. Simmons was on the show.

Very scary J.K. Simmons. Heroin. And also J.K. Simmons is on the show. Very scary J.K. Simmons. And the Oz show, that's the one with the doctor who is a charlatan. Yeah. Afternoon talk show. He keeps prescribing heroin to this guy. JC, you ever watch Oz?

No. No, me neither. No. I was very late to the whole Prestige cable game. And I feel like that was very early in the Prestige. i was very late to the whole prestige cable game and i feel like that was very early in the prestige it was very early yeah still i think it was shot on video as opposed to film because it does have a very like oh washed out kind of i did hear something about did you watch all of it graham yeah was there like did was there one season where there was like a time

travel element there was like a drug you could take that would i think probably there was something like that because they had a narrator you take a drug and but it was part of like the penal system where like you you take this drug it'll feel like you've lived 20 years in prison but when it's over it's just been a week or whatever i don't think that's it okay any listeners out there go past your shopper drug mart and re-watch pause in addition to overheards that are written and we also accept your phone calls if you want to call us our phone number is 1-844-779-7631 that's one. Ugh. SpyPod, one. Like these people have. Okay, hello. This is Vera in Atlanta.

And earlier this evening, I was at the indoor trampoline park with my nieces. And we were watching this group of boys, maybe 12, throw dodgeballs at each other, like they were trying to murder each other. So we're having a good little laugh, and I look over near the dodgeball area, and one of their friends has burrowed down into the foam

cubes at an angle where he can rest his phone on the cubes cubes and he's just watching a movie and it definitely cost 25 to bring a child in here and i love that he's just not doing it i'll go in the pit but that's as far as I go you can't make me my fun I just love seeing kids not unplug yeah yeah it's more

going to one of these places and just not unplugging it's great as long as they got earbuds in plug in all the way man plug in for life you're gonna at some point in the near future you're gonna have to decide when your daughters get phones and yeah yeah when or what age do you think a kid i think i've asked them uh boy i was like they were talking at one point about like uh the best age to be

okay and they were like i think they said 17 and i was like why 17 because you have a phone at least that's what i've been led to believe by 17 magazine yeah i mean and i'm like girls don't you realize this thing is like a black mirror it's it reflects you back at it but in a dark and mysterious and sinister way and they were like uh okay 18. you got me dad 18 no i think uh i'll cave as soon as the but my friend got a phone oh okay okay well we want to be on top of your your stupid friend yeah yeah what model did she get? We'll get a better one. Next phone call. Hey, Dave and Graham and my new favorite guest.

This is Matt the Bumper from Portland, Oregon. But I'm actually calling you from the... Oh, shit. Now I'm one of those. We haven't had one of those in a while yay but he did call back okay okay hi again in the off chance this actually gets played let's just take the intro as writ anyway i'm calling you now from the mount rushmore National Monument in South Dakota, where I just had this particular overheard. Many people taking pictures of many other people. And in this case, a young couple was getting their picture taken by another woman. I don't know if they were together or not.

But the woman holding the camera and taking the picture says to the couple do you want the thing in the background and the guy goes Mount Rushmore yeah anyway on my way yeah that's why we're standing here taking a photo

I'm regretting that I haven't been talking like Matt this whole episode Jesus Christ the voice? Yeah I'm just doing an audio book for you Yeah I think

For real That's a voice you can take a real nice bath in You know what I mean? Oh yeah You can spend some time in that voice Even when he forgets what the hell is going on It's great Yeah

Great voice That voice is definitely going in the old Spank Bank Spank Bank Yeah of course I've been I just started edging because of his voice Just as a Oh yeah

That's a good time to start. I just started using Spank Bank. I just transferred all my money from the Jackoff Credit Union. What pose do you think most people are doing at Mount Rushmore? Are you squeezing their heads? Finger up their nose. Yeah, it's got to be. Finger up Lincoln's nose.

If you have one of those tattoos that's a mustache, you, yep. Figure out Lincoln's nose. Or like, if you have one of those tattoos that's a mustache, you put that on and it completes Lincoln's beard. I pretend to like tip them back over as though they're falling,

but that's the wrong one. That's the wrong one. Yeah, so you have to stand diagonally. Yeah, I get it. Like you're falling and Theodore Roosevelt is holding you up.

Uh-huh. With his big stick. Mm-hmm. Who are they? Theodore Roosevelt, Abraham Lincoln,. Uh-huh. With his big stick. Mm-hmm. Who are they? Theodore Roosevelt, Abraham Lincoln, Washington, and... Roosevelt? No, you just said Roosevelt. Roosevelt.

Yeah, I don't fucking know. I don't know. Should know, right? Yeah. I think it's Jason Schwartzman. Yeah, that's right. One of the greats. You should do a Mount Rushmore of the people in Rushmore.

Who would you have on it i would have definitely jason schwartzman you got to have bill murray i would have uh mason gamble and wilson um olivia what was her name who's the teacher i cannot remember her name i remember what she looks like but uh was owen wilson in that movie olivia williams yeah owen wilson's in it and so or luke wilson oh they're both okay that's why i was confused oh maybe owen wilson co-wrote it oh really he'd be on my mount rushmore of rushmore okay you know what we should really expand how many people can be on the mount rushmore of rushmore. Not just four. Yeah, they should put in one new president. I vote for

Ronald Reagan. Ronald Reagan. And I vote for Brian Cox, who played the principal. One final phone call? Sure. Let's do it. Hey, Dave and Graham and possible guests. This is from a couple years ago um

my cat was sitting on my windowsill of my apartment and the window was open but the blinds were closed and the cat was sitting on the window side of the blinds so he couldn't see out but people could see the cat um and we could hear people talking to the cat and we just heard them say oh don't worry kitty we'll save you we'll get you out of that hellhole and like our apartment's fine i don't know it seemed aggressive all right thanks bye yeah man uh it's like quicksand really if you that's kind of the ultimate hellhole if you ask me I didn't know I lived in a hellhole until people tried to rescue my cat wait they're talking about

my place what the fuck hey motherfucker get back here well those are all just great and uh keep them coming i say and uh thank you very much jason for being our guest on this here episode uh tell everybody where can they pre-order your book yeah please pre-order it wherever you like i don't know if it helps more at amazon or whatever but you can pre-order it at most of your indie bookstores and

i i hope that's easy enough to do. But all the information to do that is at sketchcomedybook.com, if I may. I have a reading coming up here in Berkeley, Michigan, which is where I am. It's in the metro Detroit area. It's on Thursday, September 14th at a place called Toad Vine Books. It's a delightful little indie shop. I don't have a time yet, but if you go to that website,

sketch comedy book.com, you'll be able to see it. And I'm on Twitter and Instagram where I will also post about that. And the book is called. We're not worthy. And then a very long subtitle that I can never remember. As long as you get my own book, as long as it's Googleable,

you know? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And while you're there, check out what, how, what it's up to. Thank you. While you're on theable, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And while you're there, check out what Urkel's up to.

Yeah, please do that. While you're on the internet? You might as well while you're there. Honestly, I'm constantly on the internet because of this damn black mirror I carry around with me. I was just quickly, though. I want to thank you both for having me. I love this show. Graham, you once said the phrase fart fucked, and it's the funniest thing that I've ever heard in my life on this podcast.

And I think I lost air. You were talking about Guy Fieri. He's very, very good. And I just wanted to thank you and say hello to another friend of mine who I just found out who's a very big fan of this show, Callie. Hello. Hi, Callie. I just wanted to do that.

Hi, Callie. She's a big radio fan and a big fan of this show. That's great. Thank you. Sorry, I had to. No, of course. I did just, oh boy,

I was going to say something funny about Googling. It's gone now. I'm so sorry. I know, but you had to say nice things about us and I guess I'll allow it. Yeah.

All right. It's a good show. It is a good show. It's a really good show. On a good day, this one can really, you know, it can,

well, never mind. I can't do can't i can't talk about it show really shows whole uh show shows whole um well thanks again for being our guest thank you everybody out there for listening to the show we love you we wish we could cradle each and every one of you uh discover your own mount rushmore and come on back next week for another episode of stop podcasting yourself maximum fun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Audience supported.