Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 833 - Jane Stanton
Episode Date: March 5, 2024Comedian Jane Stanton returns to talk the For Dummies books, Feist’s high school, and Evening at the Improv....
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Hi, he's Dave Schumka.
And he's Graham Clark.
And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself.
Woo!
Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 833 of Stop Podcasting Yourself.
My name is Graham Clark and with me is the Oasis man who's giggling away ready to have
just a fun old time Mr. Dave Shumka.
What you did is you went, you were so quiet before the show and then went, hello everybody.
You were so soft spoken.
I thought you were like the shyest boy.
Yeah, that's true.
I do sit in the corner during a dance and you were a real wallflower.
Yeah, a wallflower.
I like that movie Perks of Being a Wallflower.
You like that band, the wallflower.
Oh my god, one headlight.
That's all I need.
What was there was a Canadian band?
Oh, they had like silly songs.
They were called the Barstool Prophets.
Okay.
They did a song called Perinoia. Perinoia called the Barstool Prophets. Okay. They just called paranoia
paranoia is the result of simply knowing the truth and now I feel could be called paranoia I
Can prove these things if I could dig up the proof. It's a good thing my cousin's brother's a lawyer
Anyway, they were originally called the wall flowers. Oh shit. Okay. I was like, he's gonna sing it
It's gonna be some wall flowers up there.
It better be, but the reason though,
we're talking about that is,
because Max Fun Drive is coming up,
not next week, but the week after that,
it's the time of the year where we bring some
of our favorite guest actors.
And we'll tell you all about ways
that you can support the show,
that's coming up in a couple weeks.
Don't make us beg.
Our guest today, returning guests of the podcast,
super hilarious comedian, who's also now a comedian slash producer.
It's Jane Stanton. Hi, Jane.
Hello. How are you?
I'm great. How are you guys?
Good. Tell us the show.
What are you producing?
What's going on? It's this week is where you guys? Good, tell us the show, what are you producing, what's going on?
It's this week is where you're on tour.
You're on tour.
Yes.
So look on your face,
like we didn't just talk about it.
I was like, what?
It's called the Queen's Accomedy.
It's for International Women's Day.
And it's me, Jane Stanton, Sophia Johnson,
and Brittany Lising, and we're doing Port Moody
and Let Theatre
on March 7th, March 8th, Victoria,
the Victoria Event Center.
Sure.
Duncan March 9th, Cowichan Performing Arts 10th
is Campbell River, Tidemark Theatre.
So not even one legion on this tour.
We're ending in the legion on the Monday.
I'm gonna sleep there. whether they like it or not,
I'm sleeping there.
Is there anywhere people can find info about this on,
I don't know, the internet?
I have it on a board in the middle of Vancouver,
and if you find it, let me know.
No, yeah, you can find it on my Instagram account,
Jainstanton, the Jainstanton, yeah.
Jainstanton, yeah.
That's great.
That's great. That's great.
Thanks for coming by.
Yeah.
Okay, thanks guys.
Woo hoo hoo.
I know more people now they're booking their own tours
and it sounds like a massive pain in the ass.
Is it?
Or have you figured out the way to do it?
I haven't, I haven't, I just didn't wanna be working
for another company that we all know that's Canadian called
Lobloss.
Yeah. The, you know, the comedy club place called the Chucks.
I've never heard of it.
Okay. Anyways, I did a tour for them last year and I got shorted money like $6,000.
Oh, shit.
But like you were making like $506,000 for that tour,
so it didn't really make me proud.
It didn't matter.
That was my year salary, so it was hard.
So I just was like, I'll do it myself.
And certain things, it is hard.
I realize I'm 90 years old tech-wise.
I don't know how to do,
I had to try to get a pixel from Eventbrite onto Facebook,
maybe three and a half hours.
OK, sure. And a pixel is is just one little dot.
Pretty much.
It was and then I how I got the actual I was able to do it.
I typed in, how do I get an Eventbrite pixel on Facebook if I'm dumb?
And then it gave me a step-by-step call. We'll redirect your call.
We're like, is this Jane?
I'm like, it is.
Thank you.
So, yeah.
Do we want to get to know us?
Get to know us.
Now, do you remember, I'm sure they still make them, but they had whatever book for dummies.
Oh yeah.
They had that for everything.
They had it for everything, but did you ever read one?
No.
Which one did I read?
I did read one.
Oh, it was written by Will Ferguson and it was Canadian history for dummies.
Who's Will Ferguson?
He wrote, he's a writer, he writes a bunch of books.
What was so dummies about them?
Did they really like...
Okay, Bozo.
Yeah, yeah, here you are, you stupid.
Congratulations, you figured out how to open a book.
Do you not think less of someone when you see...
I just did see someone last week with whatever for dummies.
I just looked at it and looked at them and I went, dummy.
But they also, there was like a competing one
called the Idiots Guide to.
Yeah, which is a ruder, right?
I don't know, dummy.
I guess dummy's like an affectionate thing.
Yeah, you dummy.
But you're like, yeah, you idiot.
Oh, I call people idiots all the time.
Is that worse than dummy?
You think?
I think so.
Okay, what are the, no we can't.
What?
See that's how smart I am.
I know where does it lead.
Someone in my high school had sex for dummies.
Oh shit.
Yeah, and I had sex with dummies.
Mostly ventriloquist ones.
That's good to hear you had sex for some sort of dummy.
Yeah, that's the one I read. And I feel like they're in the same league
as the bathroom readers.
I feel like those kind of came out at the same time.
Yeah, in my bathroom, we have wiping for dummies.
It's just a pamphlet, but it's like, we insist you ask.
Does anyone have books in the bathroom anymore?
It is kind of disgusting when you think about it.
Oh, it is so disgusting.
Like, you're just like, mm-hmm.
And then, well, I'm miming,
and I don't know why I just did that, reading a book,
but like, that's disgusting.
The idea that, like, I feel like this was,
as I was growing up, it was part of every show.
It was like, if there was a scene
that took place in a bathroom,
someone's on the bathroom reading a tabloid.
Oh, me too.
On the toilet reading a tabloid or a magazine or something.
Someone's head comes flying through the wall.
What?
Oh, he caught me in the...
I feel like you're talking episodes of elf.
Well, there was, wait, do you do the elf elf thing
that Graham does too?
Yeah, or it sounds like a elf elf. Oh
Probably yeah, I can't say a lot of words
But I remember I mean I
I
Not to get gross, but I'm a huge Metamucle fan
Oh, I thought you were off the muse no way man, man. Back on the muse? I love the muse.
Never been off the muse.
Like you love it?
Like, what do you mean?
You like the taste of it.
No, no.
I mean, it's fine.
He loves the effect.
But the effect is not what you think it is.
The effect is you're in and out of the bathroom.
Oh, okay.
And you're like...
That's what I would think the effect would be.
Okay, I don't know.
Some people, I don't know what people think.
I think it's like, remember they were talking about castor oil,
like fading somebody's spoonful of castor oil and that would kind of
flesh everything out. Yeah. I don't even know if you could buy castor oil.
But this isn't fleshin' everything out. This is just, not again, not to be gross.
You're just in and out. You're not there a long time is what I mean.
So like the idea of reading anything in the bathroom is not even a thing of the past.
So you're trying to tell us you don't read the washroom anymore?
No, not anymore.
But it was, I think it died out with the advent of the iPhone.
I think that was like...
So that's the new disgustingness of people.
Yeah, phones are revolting.
It's the idea is not to ever think about it, but.
Have you been in a public washroom and someone's watching a video?
The weirdest thing in the world.
I have been there. Yes.
And I'm like, what?
And then I get intrigued. What are they?
Oh, it's going.
But I'm like, they have no qualms that the toilet's just flushing.
They're just like, it's people talking on the phone in the toilet.
That's So weird.
That's mind blowing.
Like, because the other person's gotta have a sense of what's going on.
It's awfully echoey in there.
Especially if you-
What are you grunting?
Okay, okay.
Oh, I'm sorry, we went in those waters.
The electric flushes too?
Like nowadays it's gonna be going like,
you're just like, I'm in seven meeting.
Yeah, I'm having a meeting with, I was just got shushed.
Cause I'm talking in a meeting.
Yeah, it's, I feel like at least once I had a conversation with somebody and they were
on the toilet and one time where I wasn't convinced that I was like, are they master-mating?
They're really out of breath and I was like, are you out on a walk? And they're like, are they masturbating? They're really out of breath. Then I was like, are you out on a walk?
And they're like, no.
It's what you should have said, yes.
No, guess again.
That's another one.
Going hands free.
No.
Docking.
Anytime I talk to my brother, he phones me when he's walking his dog.
He's done Iron Man.
It's very fit, but he'll be like, I'm like, are you walking the dog?
He's like, yeah, I'm like up a mountain?
Yeah.
Like it's not, I'm like, are you breathing so loudly?
There's no need.
Maybe he's got an allergy.
Maybe.
Maybe he needs to go to an allergy.
Okay, I should be nicer.
You're like, Jane, maybe.
He might be allergic to that dog.
You should then get rid of the dog.
And do what with it?
I don't know.
You should know, you're a dog lover.
How many dogs do you have?
45.
You would. I would. If I dogs do you have? 45. You would.
I would.
If I you.
She had a few more but Yuck Yuck's kept them from her.
Why did you say that?
Oh yeah, they couldn't figure it out.
If you go and search, you know when someone's Instagram,
if you're talking to them and they like are gonna add you
or you're talking, you're gonna show them a video,
you can see kind of what they look at.
Yeah.
And Instagram, any mine is like, most some people are like,
ooh, looking at hot dudes, mine's all dog rescue.
Oh yeah, sure.
You can see what they look at?
No, if you, I'm showing like, if I'm adding you, Dave,
and I go into search, it's like, oh, just dog rescues.
Oh, in the search, yeah, yeah.
Graven and I did a bonus episode all about what we're
being fed. Oh, yeah, about our algorithm, like what our algorithm decided we're into in a
big way. What's the latest? Well, for a long time, it was white women with dreads. I clicked
on one and then it all was like, oh, okay. And then I accidentally clicked on another.
I was like, oh, man, I'm all the way.
Trouble.
Dreads. Yeah.
Oh, OK. Well, that's your.
What? When your feet all dreads, you have nothing to say about it.
Brought up. I just did a show on Salt Spring.
Of course, there was four dudes with dreads.
But one guy had the biggest, longest dreads.
I walked on the stage and I was like,
what's that smell?
It smells like a moldy tent.
It was his hair.
He came out, it was his hair.
He had a cloud.
He's sleepless.
Well, yeah.
Oh God, he was married.
Do you think he has seen a new Bob Marley movie yet?
Oh yeah, for sure.
Is that supposed to be good or bad or?
Judging by the ads, it's supposed to be good. Yeah. They think it's quite good.
The trailer is like, this is great. You should see this. Check this out. I don't know. I don't know.
I know some of Bob Marley's music. Yeah. I know a lot of his posters. Yeah.
music. Yeah, I know a lot of his posters. Yeah. Yeah, I know. What do I know? Lion's Ion. Um, let's not. There's two others I know. You know, no woman, no cry. No woman
will cry. I shot the share. Buffalo Shilt Soldier. Yeah, okay, there we go. Buffalo
Shoulder. He's the man's legend. Yeah. And he deserves the legend treatment of a biopic.
But usually they put those out around fall because they're... They're usually awards bait. Yeah, February biopic is pretty fishy.
Oh, it is.
I wonder if they don't have the rights to the music. I wonder if it's one of those type of...
Oh, sure.
Yeah.
No, that would be so bad.
I've done it before.
Well, that music, come bad. You can't. I've done it before. Well, that music, come on.
You have to.
No, they just get a bunch of sound delights.
And they just cut.
Like, he's like, okay, I'm about to record.
And then they cut.
And they're like, great job.
Great job recording.
Now back to playing soccer, which you enjoy so much.
I watched, well, I didn't finish it, but I was looking for something very dumb to watch.
And so I watched a documentary about Machine Gun Kelly produced by him.
Man, oh man, that was as good as a biopic.
The only thing I knew about him was that he was on a desk
at like,
Oh, he jumped up on a desk.
Yeah, jumped on a desk.
At like a record company.
But I didn't know anything.
I didn't know he was with Megan Fox.
I knew that.
I knew that.
He played Tommy Lee in the Motley Crew biopic.
Oh, shit, okay.
Did they have the right music in that?
Now they have Bob Marley music in it?
Did they have the right music in that? Now they have Bob Marley music on?
Yes.
And then he got in a fight with a guy from Slipknot.
And that was a big end M&M.
He got in a fight with M&M.
Fight like physical fight or just a beef?
No, just a beef.
A beef, a beef.
Yeah.
This is your takeaway from the documentary.
Yeah, well, there wasn't much else to it.
He was kind of sad and did drugs and, you know.
He should be happy to do drugs.
How would be my advice?
Hey man, cheer up.
You got drugs, have some drugs.
This one's on me.
He's like, he's in his 30s in this documentary,
but he dresses kind of like what, Avril Lavigne. That's the aesthetic that he's in his 30s in this documentary, but he dresses kind of like what a,
Avril Lavigne, that's the aesthetic that he's got.
He's sort of like a...
When she was trying to be like skated?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh wait, yes, okay.
When she was trying to be, she was.
Yeah.
I feel like she wasn't.
What?
No.
She goes on the skateboard in the video.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Not well. And she fell in love with the skateboard. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She actually did. You are
correct. I'd watch a you love her. LaVine. Yeah. Like you love like, do you have a crush
on her? I know I didn't have a crush on her, but I definitely am considering going to see
her in concert. Of course. I take out her hair. Fuck off. Why? Are you serious?
I'll wear an undershirt and a necktie.
I would like that, yes.
And maybe a couple of big cuffs.
Long shorts, for hello the need.
Will you straighten your beard?
Yes.
And then, yeah.
Put the part down the middle.
I'm a skater boy all right on the side.
Marry me, I'm a skater boy.
I'll be the only one there that has.
Yes.
I would like you to crimp your beard.
I'd rather you do that.
Sure.
That's a good idea.
Yeah.
Who's somebody that you would go see that's so hot shit?
Yeah, if you're so above that role of him.
Oh, good.
I don't love concerts anymore.
There's always like huge venues, smaller venues.
Yeah.
What was the last band you saw?
I don't know.
What?
I don't know. I'm 90.
Yeah, that's right. Happy birthday.
Well, tech-wise, you're 90.
Yes.
You go to find band.
I do.
Yeah, I do find band concert.
I'm for dumb.
Not tribe-quack-quest, maybe?
The Commodore? Like, I like that.
That's like great.
Sure.
But you have to stand the whole time at the kind of concerts.
Okay, now you're 90.
Yeah.
I would rather, I want to dance.
I don't want to sit.
Oh, what a little somber girl.
Yeah.
Yeah, I was at a couple of concerts this year where there were chairs and I sat down and
then everybody stood up immediately.
And then you can't see anything.
I can't see anything.
Did you tell them to sit down?
Yes, I tapped on every shoulder.
Did you know or no? No, of course not. I've had people do that you tell them to sit down? Yes, I tapped on every shoulder. Did you know or no? No, of course not.
I've had people do that.
Tell them to sit down.
Any one of them could be Machine Gun Kelly
and he'll get to fight with you, no problem.
And someone do that, sit down.
I was like, get the fuck out.
Were you the only one standing?
If you're the only one standing, then it makes sense.
And woo!
No, everyone was standing, it was Prince.
It was, oh wow.
Oh, sure, okay.
And she wanted the one behind,
she's like, I didn't pay for this,
I'm like, what did you pay for her?
No, I'm saying I didn't pay for this, I stuck it.
He's a free ticket.
He's a free, and I want to sit down
till everyone sit down.
I got these from war.
I got these from war.
Yeah, I went to a movie the other week, and...
Did you stand up for it?
Yep.
So here's the movie started.
Woo!
It was like not that full of a theater.
And I was sitting in a seat that was one over for my seat
and then a woman came and insisted that we both move over.
And I was like, yeah, but this seat over here-
We're not serious?
Or were they pre-assigned seats though?
Yeah.
But-
I was, technically I was in the wrong, but-
Oh, sure.
But there was room to go.
Like she could have gone somewhere.
She could have gone somewhere.
Sure.
Yeah.
She was just being a big old bee.
See you next Tuesday.
No, no, James, it's not that kind of podcast.
Okay, sorry.
I do think that's like the weirdest thing.
Okay, if it's not reserved, which Dave did correct that,
but if it's not reserved and someone says,
like, get over there, move away from me.
Don't be beside me.
But even if it is reserved and it's pretty empty,
it's like, these seats are all basically equal in this area.
Yeah, yeah.
So we had to do the big thing, shameful move.
Although I do have a moment.
If I like, I went to one last year and someone was in my seat,
but it wasn't that full of it.
And I was like, oh boy, I really wanted that seat.
Yeah.
Did you say something?
No, I'll just go suffer over here
in this seat that's exactly the same.
Yeah.
I don't know if it's worse if you do go and say something,
but then you're okay to move over.
And you're like, that's my seat,
but I'll sit here because then you're still a carrot.
You're still a carrot.
You're still a carrot.
Just so you know, like. I'm better than like, I'm letting you get away with this one.
I could go get the usher.
Give me a handful of popcorn.
I feel like
then I'd move for sure.
Yeah, I feel like usher was probably a big deal as a movie theater job in the 1932.
Yeah, it's still a big deal. I should just did the halftime show I
Didn't watch it buddy. I assume it was someone from a movie theater with a flashlight
We promised you
Like at the Super Bowl hoping someone to their seat and they're like
And then they do a big light show with their lights
Yeah, these are my confessions. They still have to do after song.
These are my concessions.
Yeah, I didn't watch Super Bowl Super Bowl.
I watched Highlights by that one thing. None.
Yeah.
You? Yeah.
That was the, that was the halftime show.
I didn't watch it.
I, that's the game.
I watched the like the first half of the halftime show
that I had to drive over to my parents house.
And they didn't tape them.
Because they, the TV had fallen down on them
while they were arriving to Usher's music.
But it was like a lot of people showed up.
There were Usher's pals usher and friends.
That's something you can count on.
Yeah, friends showing up for that.
If you guys did the halftime show, who would you get out to help you?
Friends over this is my dream squad.
Whatever, man.
I mean, that role is going to be there.
I would get.
But like you're the headliner.
Do you have to sit? I mean, Avril's gonna be there. I would get Avril. But like, you're the headliner.
Do you have to sit like you?
No, it's the Graham and Jane show.
Graham and Jane, okay.
And it's been advertised for weeks.
Yeah.
And you're gonna roll.
Weeks, it's like months.
And, but people know there's gonna be surprises.
Yeah, okay.
And people are actually gambling on.
Oh, I wonder if Avril Lavigne's going to show up.
For sure.
Well, I would never bring Avril Lavigne. She needs the headline.
I can't, I can't have her perform on my halftime show.
Such a simp.
But I would get Joe Coy.
He's, uh, he's very good under pressure.
Um, I was going serious and now I don't.
No, you pick one.
I thought we were going singers, but I didn't know.
No, tell us what you were going to pick.
I was going to go Rihanna.
Oh, Rihanna.
Oh, she just did it last year.
Oh, did she?
Yeah.
No, I thought it was like Dre.
Um, that was a couple of years ago with the, with the hip hop, uh,
up down, upside down 57.
Oh yes.
Okay fine then.
Okay, Rihanna's out.
Rihanna's out.
Tom Brady, that's my second one.
Tom Brady, football player.
He could do some runs.
I would get a bring back Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake and have her rip his clothes off.
Yes.
And him be vilified forever.
But like not even just the top, just a full costume.
Yeah, well no.
Like the Nike pants.
Yeah, yeah.
And he's got a weird like sequined pastia over his wiener.
I would love that. sequined pastia over his wiener.
I would love that.
Cause I don't know if you guys have seen that documentary
about like from her point of view, what actually happened
and like how she just got like banned.
Yeah.
And like canceled.
Yeah.
And we never heard from Justin Timberlake again either.
I wish.
And I loved when he put that like
Man of the Woods album out.
It's just like.
No one cared.
Well, it's like, when have you ever been in the woods ever?
Denver like you might have a cottage.
His last name is Timber.
Oh, that's true.
Well, technically is a man.
Oh, there you go.
What a man in the woods shouts.
It's like four for Lumberjacks.
Golfers and Lumberjacks, the only people who yell things
when you're about to get hit on the head.
Yeah, just in terms of like, he went down in status
because then he rejoined in sync on something, right?
Which he was before, that would be beneath him, but.
Well, I don't think he's gone down in status.
Well, he has gone down in status.
Yeah, okay, good.
He was playing stadiums and now he's playing arenas.
That's true.
Step down, but eventually it'll be a county fairs
who weigh a lot of time.
And they did an instinct just released a new song
for the Trolls 3 soundtrack.
Oh, nice.
Yeah.
How is it?
It's great.
Yeah.
I assume you've seen Trolls 3.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And the song's great.
They still got it.
Yeah. I don't remember. And the song's great. They still got it. Yeah.
I don't remember what exactly which song was theirs.
Right.
But yeah, it's nice that they're back together.
I would say Trolls, bring them for the halftime show.
Oh, nice.
Everybody loves Trolls.
Let's do cartoons.
Cartoons come out.
Oh my God.
Just cartoons.
Yeah, get the Simpsons to come out.
Yeah, Raphael from the Ninja Turtles.
Just him, though, not the other three guys.
Because then they'll pull focus if there's all three of them.
But if there's just one Raphael with a size,
he can do a demonstration of with his size.
What did you guys have the Simpsons sing the Blues album?
You. What?
What? What?
The Simpsons put out a musical album. When?
Like 1991 maybe?
I was gonna say 1992.
Yeah, and it was.
It's how to do the Bartman, it had deep, deep trouble.
I think do the Bartman, wasn't that like
supposedly produced by Michael Jackson?
Apparently it was supposedly.
Yeah. Are you serious? Yeah. I feel like you're lying. No, Michael Jackson? Apparently it was supposedly. Yeah.
Are you serious?
Yeah.
I feel like you're lying.
No, Michael Jackson loved The Simpsons.
He was on an episode.
Yeah.
Of course he did.
Kids watch it.
Yeah.
Nice change.
You're welcome.
Nicely done.
But yeah, do you have a cassette or CD?
I think cassette.
Yeah, me too.
Oh, originally my friend had to record
the Bart man song and I just had that song on a tape
that I listened to over and over.
But I don't know, I guess I was Bart crazy
when that show first came out.
Yeah, we all were.
But then like it became Homer
and now it's just like everybody in Springfield, I guess.
Did you, I'm laughing because like you wanted to be Bart?
Yeah, he had a battle. You want to be home.
Yeah.
That's what I just got.
Yeah.
And now when I want to be over now, I want to be sort of every character.
A little bit of everybody.
A little bit of Moe one week.
And do you have a Bart t-shirt or anything like that?
I don't.
I think I did.
Yeah.
I had the one that said I'm Bart Simpson.
Who the hell are you?
Yeah.
And my mom really had some.
Didn't like it, right?
Yeah, reservations about that.
Yeah, because you know, you're only a kid to go to school with a shirt that says hell.
Although now you who cares?
Yeah, nobody would care now.
But like back then, and this was this show that was like super controversial
because because the
voice is hell and they don't like going to church, but they
still go. It was so much of it was about church. Yeah, and
then it was, I remember there being a TV guide cover and it
said, will the Simpsons beat Bill because Cosby had ruled the
airway for so long? And you what they did they don't beat them
They like pants them and then I
Don't know if they did I think
The Simpsons yeah, I don't think like I think of the Cosby being like more of an 80s sitcom
Sure, but it didn't like it they weren't can't it wasn't canceled because the Simpsons are getting too many ratings
It's not like oh, okay
We got to take Bill Cosby off the air because Bart Simpson's too popular
What if they decided okay? We will let it stay on the air, but we're gonna make it animated just to come
Could just keep sure competition with the Simpsons so next season
It's all going to be am and it animated bill. Let's call the Cosby Show or Bill Cosby Show.
It was called the Cosby Show.
Cosby Show.
Yeah. This episode already has too much Cosby content for my
comforts.
Stop it.
Let's get back to something a little less controversial.
Michael Jackson.
Thank you.
Did you watch Simpsons growing up or was I?
Yeah.
I was a tomboy so yes 100%.
I went on a couple of dates with a woman who had never seen a second of The Simpsons.
And so I was like, wow, I could do so many jokes you wouldn't know where they're from.
She just thinks you're just like quoting and she's like, God, he was saying the crazy was this.
And he's doing all weird voices.
I am Graham Clark with the Halloween.
Oh, this guy's fresh, fresh take.
Hey, Graham, do you want to go to dinner?
Mm, dinner.
So you just go back and forth between like, Omer and Bart?
Yeah, I mean, there's so many catchphrases.
Yeah, you know, fumble me man saying, ay, ay, ay. Something bad goes wrong, I mean, it's so many catchphrases. Yeah, you know, just fumble me man saying,
ay, ay, ay. Something bad goes wrong, you go, mmm. Or just have a sip of beer and burp really
loudly. Yeah. Yeah, I, you know, I feel like if you had that at your disposal, you'd be so funny,
you could maybe date up a bit. You know, dating really good. It's sort of like that movie about
if the Beatles never existed.
Oh shit, I only just remember that existed.
Wow.
Yeah, who?
That was the worst I tried to watch it one day
when I was like, I'll watch Diarrhea and that's exact,
like I couldn't get to watch it.
I never watched it, but it felt like it would have been a perfect plane movie.
Oh, yeah.
And so what the premise is that he then records all the Beatles?
He knows the Beatles.
He's shocked that no one knows the Beatles exist.
I don't know if he's a busker.
I can't even remember.
A busker, he's like a not famous musician and then wakes up, no one knows who they are.
He gets struck by lightning.
It's something stupid like that.
And then to me when you were just saying that, I'm like,
so he's just a hack.
Like he's like, no one knows this.
I'll take these famous songs.
I take some of everything to some Beatles that do too unlimited.
But those are too unlimited exists.
Oh, shit.
It's not all music. I thought you were going to say two live crew, by the way.
I was like, oh, okay.
What are the Beatles and two live crew?
I'll just do two live crew.
Yeah, I'll do 50 50.
Me and this other artist will.
Oh man, what a very, it must have been one of those things like they had the rights to the songs first and then they were like, let's.
I don't know. I think it's a great idea. I never saw it though.
It's also wasn't there.
Apparently it's diarrhea.
It's not fire, it's diarrhea.
Yeah.
Yeah. What was the other one? It was like a Ricky Gervais movie, I think,
called Something About Lying.
Like, it's the only guy.
Oh, The Invention of Lying.
Invention of Lying.
He's the only guy in the world who can lie.
And I watched about 10 minutes of it.
I was like, this is too...
Yeah.
This is, I can't get into this.
I think it was the same too.
Yeah.
I think, yeah, it didn't sustain itself.
Like that would be a good sketch. Yeah, yeah think yeah, it didn't sustain itself. Like that would be a good sketch.
Yeah, yeah, exactly, good sketch.
Maybe a short film at most,
but the fact that it's like a full.
Movie? No.
I don't know if that,
there's a lot of high concept stuff I can't necessarily get
behind.
Do you remember the one with Will Ferrell
and he realizes he's a character in a novel
and you can hear the narrator's voice.
Was it Emma Thompson was the narrator?
Yeah, I remember that.
I think I might have watched that on a plane.
That seems like about right.
I don't know what you're talking about.
He's, yeah, well, if you didn't know from that description.
Yeah.
You were gonna repeat the description again.
I say it slower, is it gonna pop into your head?
I'm sure the title of it is meaningless as well.
But like, you know what I mean?
Like it's fun for a little bit,
but the like heightened reality kind of thing.
Like it's too, my mind can't,
it's like sort of like a time travel movie
where like, well, if that's true,
then how does that affect this?
And then. Yes. It's also, wait, you said is so, movie where like, well, if that's true, then how does that affect this? And then.
Yes.
It's also, wait, you said is so,
I was like, great, awesome, Dave.
I've like, there's so many movies that I'm like,
would be a great sketch or a short movie.
Oh yeah.
But then I'm like, this is,
it was okay till 15 minutes and it's done.
There's that wine country movie
that I thought was gonna be funny.
It was ladies wine country.
It sucked,
Butter Rockets. What sucked. Butter rockets.
What?
It's like, I don't know if it was Amy Poehler.
I don't know if it had some scenes.
It could have been so funny and it just dropped the ball.
Huge.
But it wasn't sideways.
No.
No.
Imagine I'm like sideways.
Yes.
No.
Because that was sort of a men's week.
Yeah.
Sort of a men's rights week.
I feel like alcohol like too.
It was like crazy drinking.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He drank out of a waist fountain or something like that at some point.
I forget.
Oh, I never saw it.
You never saw it?
No, I hear it's good.
It's got it's got a really big laugh.
And he's so funny in it because he's he they're doing like there's a scene
where he's explaining all the notes because he's he they're doing like there's a scene where he's
Explaining all the notes of the thing. They're both drinking and then Thomas H. H.
Takes the gum out of his mouth. He's like, oh give me another one
If you've seen like those other ones like a
Last vacation and it's the four women going on a 80 for Brady
Last Vegas last Vegas was men.
That's right.
Do you like a woman cast caper?
It's sure if it's good.
Girls Trip.
Girls Trip, that's the one.
Chick fight.
Girls Trip, I don't know what one that is.
I've probably seen it.
I do watch dog poo poo sometimes.
Diaries, he says it.
But I do, I like watching it. If you're, I'm in the mood for it, I'll watch dog poo poo sometimes. Darius, he said. But I do, I like watching, if you're,
I'm in the mood for it, I'll watch it.
Yeah.
But if I'm not, if I'm expecting it to be good.
You're very moody, you're not a fool.
I am, I'm really moody.
I'm a chick, that's why I did.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But if I think it's gonna be good and then it is bad,
then I'm sad.
But like, what if you know it's gonna be bad going into it?
Oh, that was Matt Rice special, you're welcome. Oh. I watched it. You like, what if you know it's going to be bad going into it? Oh, that was Matt Rice special.
You're welcome.
Oh, I knew it would be bad.
Yes.
But how you watch the whole thing?
I fell asleep.
OK.
Woke up.
It was 20 minutes.
I rewound it.
I fell asleep again the third time and I went, I'm out.
I tried.
He comes out and like does a thing that undoes his whole.
It's a street joke.
Yeah, but like literally like that's the thing.
But no one's acknowledging that.
That's the weirdest part.
It is hacky.
It's yeah.
But everyone's like, oh, that joke.
He can say I'm like, yeah, but why are you saying that?
That's not like.
I don't know.
Well, ask him when he's here next week.
Yeah.
Thank you.
God, that's the one.
Can you please?
Yeah.
Thank you.
Okay.
Um, you'll be able to get it on YouTube, but if you go to our Patreon, we'll give you the extended
Matt Ryan video. Yeah. I fall asleep more and more and I not, but it's not based on the quality
of what I'm watching. It's based on the fact that I, it's 930. Yeah. And I'm time for bed. And I, um, not, but it's not based on the quality of what I'm watching. It's based on the fact that I, it's 9 30.
Yeah.
And I'm time for bed and I, uh, oh, whoops.
I shouldn't have started an hour long thing and, and I've gotten better at just
turning it off.
Yeah.
Like I used to be like, I'll fight my way through it.
I'll stay awake.
And then the next day I'll, I'll, I just won't have retained anything from it.
I didn't watch all the Machine Gun Kelly one,
but I think I'm going to go back to see how this thing all wraps up.
What if he dies?
Oh, yeah, that was alright.
But he's alive in real life?
He was like a rapper, I guess,
and then he came out with a kind of like Blink 182 type of album.
And the guy Travis from Blink 182 plays the drums on his drums. That is just the laziest thing that every rock band does. They're like,
wow, what if we get the guy from Blink-1A2 to play on it? Because he'll literally do anything.
He loves to play drums. Try and keep him away from it.
Yeah. I can't name one song, Machine Gun Kelly.
Oh, well, what's the one that was the big one?
Well, I feel that you should know?
You just know, but I can't, even though I do know the one song was played
throughout the whole movie.
A camera was called something about drugs.
I don't know.
Uh, he's cool though.
That's what I know.
Ladies love him just like Matt Reif.
Um, but the documentary is very much.
Wow.
He's really cool.
Kevin Hart did one as well, where it was just people talking
about how great he is the whole documentary.
He works really hard.
He's so funny.
Is that the recent one?
I watched that with Chris Rock.
No, no, no, this one before that.
I watched that recently.
Dave's doing some research.
I know, I'm like, what's happening?
I'm trying to get lost about your water.
Knocked over so much water just now.
You okay?
Oh yeah, no, I'll be. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Have you guys ever heard Hey Jude? You haven't? Well then check this out.
It would be so funny if the whole world didn't know the Beatles and he also couldn't play music.
And like he kinda knew the lyrics but I really didn't.
We're singer in the world.
Or it would be good if they had that scene
from Back to the Future where Chuck Berry's cousin
gives him a call.
It's your cousin Marvin. You know that new sound you're looking for?
Listen to this.
Chuck Berry's like, did you forget I existed?
I invented this sound.
I'm looking at Machine Gun Kelly.
Now his artist name is currently MGK.
MGK, okay.
Yeah.
Because marketing, Jane.
I can't. Trying to keep it fresh.
Find a thing with cigarette in the title.
What would be his, what's his number one,
his most famous one?
His number one most played song on Spotify
is Bad Things with Kamiya Kabeya.
Oh, they didn't even cover that in the documentary.
Sounds like this.
This is fire. This is fire. That's what they kept saying during the recording session. This is fire.
He was saying that about himself? Yes! I fight.
I do know this song! I do know this song! Well, it's a covering. I know, but I do know this song.
What is it?
Who sang this originally?
Okay, I'm also weirded out.
It is only singers, maybe also comics,
but mostly singers that do that.
Like, this is amazing.
You're pretty much saying you're amazing.
They're going, this is fire. This is fire.
Yeah, they're covering it's a good fastball.
Oh, shit. I love it me and grammar like I do know the song from 1998 there's the
next most popular song is my ex's best friend hey with black bear
they see right he's not like a rapper anymore. He sings now. He's a pop punk guy.
He's a good time. He's fun.
Yeah. But you need to like, I don't know, you need some things that have happened to you in your life that are interesting, but sustain a whole documentary.
You know what I mean? Like, there are documentaries that do a synopsis of the whole Civil War, and it's just like two hours long.
You could cut, see, it could be a little short movie of machine gun.
So short.
But he's so tall.
He's pretty tall.
Yeah.
Well, and he's one of those guys, he's so skinny, looks good and kind of that,
that aesthetic, that pop punk, you know, like a more beefier person wouldn't look.
Yeah.
Right.
You know, oh my God, Abraham Lincoln would be such a good pop punk guy
Tall and skinny
He goes up and sings the fat
Things the get his burger dress
Everybody four score years ago
Seven years ago That's score, seven years ago.
That's all I know of it. That's all I know of Canadian.
When you guys kept going, I was gonna be like,
very impressed.
There's no famous Canadian speech, I don't think.
It was that beer commercial.
Yes.
It was that beer commercial.
I was just gonna do the answer,
just answer all I know.
The I am Canadian beer commercial.
Really hung our identities on that commercial for a while.
Do you remember?
Was he Joe Canada?
Joe from Canada.
Yeah.
And he just did it.
He did like just all Canadian.
And after was America.
I think that's something I heard.
Yeah, that would have been.
Well, for a while Tim Hortons was owned
by an American company.
Now I think it's owned by a Brazilian company.
Yeah, yeah, which is...
That's why the donuts are hairless.
Featuring all hairless donuts.
Did you say hairless?
That's right.
Yeah.
They're Brazilian.
You roll up the rim and you can win a trip to a capoeira finals.
How many more Brazilian things do you have in the bag? to a capoeira finals.
How many were bred in Brazil? Thanks to having the back of the Brazil that doughnut.
Of course, giant butts.
They've got some good, put two doughnuts together,
look like a giant butt.
And of course, a green electric doughnut like a blank out from Street Fighter 2.
Yeah, I like the idea of like the Olympics. Everybody sending a delegate and they said, from Street Fighter 2. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I feel like we gotta get handled on American history. Well, my margos in grade four and they're doing stuff I never learned. Like what?
They're doing like Western Canada history, which we never did.
Like I remember learning like upper Canada.
Upper Canada.
And yeah, I.
All but they're doing like the gold rush, the caribou gold rush and the Fraser gold rush.
And like the day in the life of a minor.
Wow. Huh. Huh. Wow, huh?
Huh, yeah, we were like social studies is fun.
Great for social studies, I would love to.
Yeah, well, and it's like I had that Canadian history
for dummies and I still don't know anything about Canadian history.
But yeah, upper Canada, lower Canada.
They did, yeah, they did fur trade stuff.
Oh yeah, yeah.
I felt all the history in high school and elementary school was Ontario. Upper Canada, Lower Canada. They did fur trade stuff. Oh yeah. Yeah.
I felt all the history in high school and elementary school was Ontario, Quebec based.
Nothing here.
Yeah, totally.
At all, except for the day that you go to Victoria and get to go to the museum.
And then you come back.
That's it.
That's it.
Did you guys have to, I feel like in junior high there was just kind of random, like we
learned about Japan.
We learned all about Japan culture and everything. Oh yeah. Yeah. It was like why Japan? Why not China? Why not?
Very like what you're saying probably for a day. Max like.
No his whole unit. Oh okay. Well then you had to learn about the samurai. Oh no we had like.
Dojo cat. You had to learn all these dojo cats.
What are you talking about? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha the 49th parallel. Oh yeah. Because and which I guess happened in like the 1860s,
70s.
When they just made it up or discovered it or whatever.
They discovered a straight line going all the way across.
I thought you made the coffee shop at the very beginning of that.
I was like what?
And we were walking like we were leaving school and she said,
oh yeah, we learned about the 49th parallel.
And I was like, oh, because like Eastern Canada is all like weird wonky shapes. But then they,
you know, I guess Canada or Britain and America stopped fighting and they just decided, okay,
let's just draw a line through the rest of these countries. And I said, oh, did you learn
about Point Roberts, which is like near here and it's cut off by the 49th parallel.
And she said, no.
And then a woman walking next to us was like,
did you say something about Point Roberts?
And I was like, yeah, they're learning
about the 49th parallel.
Oh, because we have a heard of the 49th parallel?
Yeah, we never learned anything about that.
We learned about the, what was the war?
Was it the English, America war?
When did Canada burn down the White House?
1812?
Yeah, 1812.
But they don't, the states doesn't do the same history.
I remember being in Boston.
They lit it, we lit it ourselves, we hated it.
They were talking and they were like,
we won when Canada came and the boats were here
and we won that war.
I'm like, oh, you didn't.
They didn't.
I think it was a tie.
Tiebreaker.
And they did rock, paper, scissors.
Yeah, that's another one of those Canadianisms
that people hold fast to.
We burned down the White House once.
And we'll do it again.
Yeah, and Rick Moranis is from here.
Michael Buble.
Yeah, I mean, here in Vancouver, you can't go a full day without hearing about Ryan Reynolds.
You went to, he lived here for a while, he's moved on, Deadpool and whatnot.
Although those were shot here, the first two Deadpool movies.
Would they all shot here?
No, the third one's not.
He tried, he tried, but the studio would not let it happen.
A-holes.
Yeah.
Do you go to famous person school out here?
Did I?
Yeah.
Did you?
Who was the most famous person from your school?
No one.
Twentyn Jump Street was filmed at my school.
Nice.
That's good.
I was an extra on it.
Were you?
Oh, yeah.
What, uh, do you remember what the episode was about?
Um, yes.
Did they give you a script?
It was about these cops who were undercover as high
school students.
It was the girl was a party girl and they were stealing cars and whatnot.
Oh, such a party.
I got a cigarette off of Johnny Depp.
Noice.
Did you?
Yeah.
Wow.
I have a picture somewhere on my phone of like someone was like, is this you? And they
were watching it. It was somewhere from high school I don't talk to.
When it happened, when you shot it,
were you like, did you watch it when it came out?
Were you so excited?
So excited.
He was so cute.
Oh yeah, yeah, oh yeah.
He was then Richard Grico.
Yes, good one. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha He came in too big of an ego. Oh, but did he replace Johnny Depp?
Yeah.
Was that okay?
And then they had some other show I don't even know.
And then he was done.
No, he's done.
I just remember, boy, was it David Spade or Dennis Miller on Saturday Night Live?
Richard Grico made a movie called If Looks Could Kill.
Yes. And the joke was, if looks could kill, they'd give Grico made a movie called If Looks Could Kill. Yes.
And the joke was, if looks could kill,
they'd give Grico a mirror. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha shot around. They don't have enough actors back then. And so there would be like, say you Graham one week were a drug dealer.
Three episodes later, maybe you're a teacher and you're a guest star.
Yeah.
It was so many times.
We love what you did with the drug.
Let's see what you did with the teacher.
I think on law and order, you'll still run into that.
Oh yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
That that's like 24 years old.
Like the people putting bodiesis away or whatever.
I just like when extras look down the barrel of the camera
when it comes by and they're like, just do it.
But they keep it in, that's my favorite thing.
Yeah, well they have to.
They shot the first episode of
the party of five at my high school.
And I was an extra and the guy next to me
looked right down the barrel of the camera.
Did he get in trouble?
No.
And when he made it in the show.
Okay.
And I'm right next to him like scared stiff looking down.
Oh my God, my shirt has a tiny logo on it.
I was told the word and nothing with no logos.
God.
Don't wear anything with stripes.
It'll, it'll buzz on
Tate. Yeah. And yeah, no hats. No hats. All this is a
hatless high school. Oh yeah. Yeah. You've done extra work,
right? Haven't in years. She just said she did. No, but that
wasn't you were getting paid. Do you get paid? I got paid. Oh
shit. I got paid. It's great. Yeah. You haven't done in years
and years either. I did one that It's great. Yeah. You haven't done it in years and years either.
I did one that took place in a carnival
and a lot of the extras were clowns.
No, thank you.
And they were like real clowns.
They weren't extras paying it up for clowns.
Tears in my eyes.
No, stop it now.
And they were talking about how much they hate it.
Man, I hate it.
Do they think that's why they're not working?
I feel like that's their whole thing.
If I was in a room alone with it, it would be over for that guy.
Yeah, a clown's waking up one day in a world without it.
People still don't like them.
They're the Oscars and like. People still don't like them.
They're the Oscars and like I'd like to thank you.
The opposite, they're the hugest start to the world.
They're like, yes.
I haven't done extra work in forever.
I would hope not.
I don't know.
Well, it was an easy way to make.
We should get extras on this podcast.
Yeah, don't stare down the barrel of this microphone.
Just have some people behind it.
My need.
Don't need because it'll fuck up the sound.
Yeah.
And we need it for continuity.
We can't have an empty bowl of a cup of noodles.
Yeah.
Sometimes you see somebody who's really like too, too acting.
Oh, yeah.
Background.
I guess in the hopes of the directors like, huh, that's the way you read that book.
Yeah, yeah.
That happened in an episode of the Twilight Zone.
I was one of the comics in one of the episodes
like four years ago.
And there was someone that we know
that Vancouver comedy scene was an extra.
And they came out and I saw them right away.
I went, ah, fuck.
And then I had to do like the written,
there were the worst strokes in the world.
And I had to do like that monologue
and then everyone's like clapping and he was like,
and they, he said, God, he's like,
I was like, you could pretend to laugh.
And I said that, I was like, oops.
But then the director went and talked
and the director's not supposed to talk to the background.
And I was like, you should be like, talk to the background. Oh, my God.
It was like, you should be like, you need to laugh.
Like it's funny.
Like, and kept saying, I'm like,
I know it's not funny.
Like right here, like it wasn't funny.
Yeah.
And kept doing it.
And then I could see like the fake like clap and laugh
and like angry at me.
I'm like, I don't know if you're angry at me.
You've read in me out.
I can't wait to find out off air who this was.
I almost said their name numerous times too.
Yeah, and this, when I did X-Tour,
it was before having a phone that you could entertain yourself with.
It was very boring hours.
That would have been a heart.
I would have to bring like, you know, a bathroom reader, some magazines.
Find a bathroom.
Yeah.
I, the big thing that I did, I brought a book, but also
you could just play cards. That was the thing. There was cards games going on in the extras.
With other people? Yeah. No, just by myself. Solitaire. Solitaire. Yeah. No, with other
people. No. It was great. The best times of my life. Maybe I'll do it again. I should
teach my kids solitaire. You should teach them how to act without talking
and then get them as extras on something.
You just make the money off them.
I'm quitting my day.
My kids are making minimal wage.
I don't have to work anymore.
It's so great.
And they get a subway.
Delicious.
At the end of the day. I'm in middle. Yeah.
Oh man.
Um, yeah, I, uh, I would do it again.
I would go back.
I got an agent for a while who was like, we'll put you in for tiny roles.
And I didn't get any of those.
I was not convincing as a.
You.
But if there was a movie where humans hadn't been invented yet.
You would be winning Oscars.
Yeah, the movie didn't win an Oscar.
The Beatles won.
No, but I think in the movie he won Grammys.
Oh, shit.
Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You've gone out on auditions, you've been an actor.
Yeah.
Have you ever had one where you just like nailed it?
And then you were like, I got this.
And then maybe you did or didn't.
What?
This is a good question.
You're so worse than that.
This is so like...
That was direct. This is so like that was direct.
This is like writing, you know, getting into your process.
So many times.
Yeah.
I thought you were going to say stuff I don't want to.
Oh, let's talk about stuff you don't want to talk about.
No, that I don't want to audition for.
And then I'm like, oh, still do it.
Oh, sure.
Like Hallmark, I'm never going to be cast in that.
You don't know that.
I do know.
You've got to try out for all of them.
They may do a twist and they need somebody who's seen that wine country movie.
We want the quirky weirdo best friend as the lead.
Let's not have a blonde.
Quirky best friend as the lead.
I like it.
Yeah, okay, done.
I watched one.
It was a gay first one.
The Hallmark movies had ever done. I watched one that was a gay first one, that the Hallmark movies had ever done.
I watched one that was a gay first one
that Hallmark movies had ever done.
It was the first time you've ever said the word gay.
I know, it felt weird coming out of my mouth.
You watch Hallmark?
Yes.
What?
He loves Admiral Levine and Hallmark movies.
I will watch anything, I will watch anything. As long as it's on and I don't have to think about it.
I'll watch it.
You know, so Hallmark, my favorite one was called an ice wine Christmas.
Yes, we all know about an ice wine Christmas.
Shut up.
Oh, I did learn that your brother, they love he loves Hallmark too.
Christmas like the Christmas hallmarks.
Yeah, that was, they love it.
They knew all of the different titles.
Oh yeah.
That was weird.
There's so many.
Yeah.
So in order to not draw attention to what you did,
change is.
Hey, you called me for a bathroom.
What's going on over there? Yep, just being. What are you doing? Change is. Hey, you call me for a bathroom.
What's going on over there?
Yep.
Just being.
Jane has poured my water bottle into her water bottle.
That's fine.
No one noticed.
Just the sound of BP.
But yeah, I, I, the, the only new Christmas ones. There aren't summer hallmark movies or Halloween.
Oh, maybe there's some Halloween.
Yeah, they're not as huge.
Remembrance Day ones.
There's a couple of remembrance day.
When you watch them sometimes and it's so sunny and you can tell it's sunny
and they the fake snow doesn't not go in your head like, how are they doing this
with like so much sweaters?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, like because they're always filming Ladner or Victoria
because of all the small, small.. But it's always in the summer.
How are you doing that?
I get acting, I get it.
It's cold, but like, are you donkey?
No, wait, you're what we were looking for.
The bed, you nailed the, it's cold black.
I would have to go to a like a special room
that is like a walk-in freezer,
a meat freezer, and then come out for two minutes
to shoot my scene and then back in the meat freezer
because I'm wearing a sweater in July.
Yeah, it's too hot.
But sometimes you can see.
It's the extras will be like,
and there's no need, they'll be.
The extras will faint.
It's just patting their head.
Can't make it cheap. Jumping cold water. The extras will faint. Just patting their head. Okay, thank you, chief.
Jumping cold water.
But you can never, that's the thing,
you can never see their breath in any of these movies.
Ooh, good one, yes.
Because then I was watching,
I think Christmas vacation,
you could see their breath,
so you're like this is shot in the fall or the winter.
Yeah.
But why is it summer?
Just because our days are longer in the summer?
No, I think just because they they got to get them done by Christmas.
Like, oh, yeah, they're that quick of a turnaround.
Yeah. Yeah.
Like last year, Cindy went to Switzerland, but it wasn't Switzerland.
Victoria this year, she's going to go.
It's her younger sister and she's in Italy, but it's not Italy.
It's Ladner.
And they'll just do like a slight twist.
Yeah, just put out some tablecloth with checkered, yeah.
Tablecloth, table.
That's the word I was looking for.
Well, I mean, tablecloths are checkered.
Yeah, that's what, but I didn't say Italy of all places.
Yeah, I remember seeing somebody like somebody isolated clip of somebody walking on snow and it was
clearly just a sheet that had been put over their glass.
No more magic.
But like, do the people who like love these Hallmark movies love them in spite of that?
Or do they have blinders on?
Or are they like, no, they're really in the snow and I believe it.
Yeah. That's what I would like to know because I think you watch it
because it's just easy breezy.
Yeah.
And but there is is it the same as wrestling when there is some people
that literally are like, that's out.
Yeah, so of course, the people who have those things that you get from winners
that say like love.
Yeah, thank you.
Wine mom.
Yeah. I saw a picture of somebody that I used to know. Friendship.
Friendship, yeah.
Yeah.
Somebody I know has one of those in a picture of her
and her husband and I was like.
What does it say?
It said something like love is love
or love weird laugh love.
And people who go to an Airbnb that's hastily decorated
and then they're like,
this is how I want my house.
I want a weird piece of driftwood.
I want three words.
Pictures of New York.
Yeah, I want a stack of rocks.
I want a jar of rocks.
I want one pan, three forks.
My brain is a jar of rocks. I just stayed at an, three forks. My brain is a jar of rocks.
I just stayed at Airbnb in Salt Spring.
The second we pulled up, we had to open the gate, close it.
She's like, you have to close it every time.
If you leave, I'm like, oh no, I could tell.
I'm like, just if you have rules,
like send them in the email.
I don't want to talk to you.
Yeah.
I'm noticing I don't like people.
And walk in, there was so many rules.
She took her shoes off and I was there, I was like,
damn it.
And I had to take it off and she's like,
socks off too.
She's like, and underwear.
This is what we're doing.
She's like, if you're here, you have the fire,
you have to be here when the fire's on
because it was like the wood.
But do not do it before you go out.
We're like, yeah, we're not going to yeah and then she's like you have to put the protector
over the couch like over the couch if whoever's sleeping there has to do
that I wanted to be like oh yeah cuz he's peed last time but I couldn't and I
was like oh god and then she's like who's Jane I'm like me I was with two guys
I'm like are they Jane how she confused I would like, are they Jane? How is she confused?
I would be cool if they did this
for every hotel room as well.
Okay, this bed's for masturbating
and this bed's for sleeping.
And if you have any water, even a stick.
Use the lotion provided in the bathroom.
I would like that.
She was like, you have to wash the cup.
I'm like, yep.
The cup.
You have to.
And then on, it was like a post-it, please, please, please.
And then the next one, wash your dishes.
And then the hot tub, she's like,
okay, go get your shoes and I'll take you outside
for the hot tub.
I'm like, I don't fucking use a hot tub.
It was 20 minutes of a walkthrough.
Yeah.
And you and these two guys had to get to business.
Yeah, to film the movie.
We're gonna play that's a white sheet, so it looks like it's winter time.
Yes.
Am I Jane or are you?
Yeah. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Okay, so I've come up with this character. Here's my new character at the scene. Hmm. This character is a British person. Okay. Who's doing keto?
Okay, here it is a British person doing keto.
I can't eat that mate. I'm on Keto nice.
Oh, he bruv is yogurt Keto
Yeah, yogurtagurt.
That's a big British one.
So that is a pot of Yagurt, they would say.
So that's my first
my first
item of business.
So my other item of business, I went to
we were talking about it before.
I went to a concert, a rock and roll
concert. You know these rock and roll concert.
You know these rock and roll types.
Absolutely, Avril Lavigne and company.
Machine guy Kelly Now,
he's not so much into the hip hop anymore.
Yup.
I went to go see beautiful singing voice
of songstress Feist.
Oh, Feist, okay.
How was it? Feist, oh guys, go see Feist. Oh, Feist, okay. How was it?
Feist, oh, guys, go see Feist.
Run, don't walk.
Where was Feist?
It was at the Commodore.
Okay.
Then it's already great.
Yeah, Jane's favorite venue.
It was three nights of Feist.
I went to night one.
I went to all three.
No, no.
Holy shit.
And it is, there's like, I really like Feist, one of my faves.
Yeah.
And she was great and there were, it's like, there's spoiler, like I can't talk about the
show.
I've never been to a concert like this that has spoilers.
Oh, life.
For life?
What are you talking about?
No, it was sort of like theatrical where it's like,
you know, certain things. She hits certain beats as it goes and then like it's loose,
but it's also like choreographed and then it's like a twist and.
Does she dance?
Nope.
Oh, okay.
She's like, just stands there and with a good, she's a guitarist as well.
She's.
Yeah, she sings and play the guitar.
Okay.
That's good.
Guitar sounds all weird and plonky.
It's her style.
I don't, I think I know two songs.
She had two big hits, right?
One, two, three, four of that one.
One, two, three, four.
And then.
I wonder what you would think of as a second big hit of hers.
I think it's probably the same song.
Was it called like Teenage Something?
Right, was it Teenage Dreams? Yeah, well that's fine. That's fine. No, that's one, two, three, four. Is it called like teenage something? Right?
Was it teenage dreams?
Yeah, well, that's fine.
That's one, two, three, four.
Yeah.
Or the teenage one.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, she's got, I believe, five albums, maybe six.
Yeah, okay.
Check's out.
They're all great.
No real big hits other than that.
Does she have an opening?
No.
Oh, shit.
So the great thing about this was...
Started early.
It started early.
I knew it.
I was like, Dave's like the great thing?
It was at 5.03.
It doors at 7.
Beautiful.
But like it said, like I was easy enough to find that she will go on stage between 8
and 8.15.
Yeah. The show will be over by 10 30.
That's, that's all the details I knew.
That's all, that's all you need to know.
Yeah.
Um,
woman bed by 11.
Exactly.
And I, I, uh, it was great.
It was, um, uh, there were a lot of like, so I was standing there and I had to
move cause someone was really tall in front of me and I was like, that's a woman.
I just, it was a Casey Novak.
Nobody was she went and that's I wouldn't be surprised because I was like,
oh, I was a very tall woman.
I looked around that woman's tall, too.
That was my height.
What's with this?
Fights just attracts a lot of tall women.
Huh. Maybe she's like, maybe they play it in locker rooms before backstab all the games.
Backstab all, yeah, yeah.
She's a, she's a lot of jock jam.
Balli ball.
Balli ball, yeah.
And so, but.
Did you go with a group, with a person?
Oh, I went by myself.
So, a little concert, okay.
I bought two tickets and then day of I sold the second one.
Nice.
I didn't make a little, did you make a little money on that? No, no, I sold it, the minimum allowable.
You should have sold it for cheap or free, but they have to hang out with you.
I only have one rule.
No, I...
We're holding hands.
I haven't been to a concert in a really long time. And but Ticketmaster now, not only can you buy it from them, then you can resell it from
them.
Yeah.
And so I was like, oh, that's the easy way to do it.
I clicked on it and said, okay, well, it looks like people are selling tickets for this
between 40 and $50.
Okay.
And I was like, okay, let's say $45.
Perfect.
No, maybe it said 50 and 60. And I was like, okay, let's say $45. Perfect.
No, maybe it said 50 and 60. As I said, $55.
And then I put that in and said too low.
Like 60 had to go 60?
No, it said, then it said,
the minimum you can sell this for is $66.
Weird, why do they care?
Do they get a second fee?
I don't know.
Probably.
Anyway, so it was like,
I sold it for the minimum and it got snapped up right away.
You get to see who buys it?
Yeah.
In case you run into them and say, hey, you know, I did it.
I was like, do that movie theater thing.
I was going to stand and say, I was going to bring someone, but I didn't get a babysitter.
Did you get there early enough to get a good standing zone?
Yes, because the stage is a tiny stage in the center.
Like it wasn't at one edge.
Oh, it's in the round.
It's in the round.
So that's fun.
And but the other cool thing is I haven't been to a concert in such a long time
that now you can look up the artist and see what their set list is like.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And so you can do that with kiss. Yeah. Yeah. And they sang all the songs that you would expect them to.
What do you mean? You can like, well, you like, what they're going to play. Someone posts what they played the night before. Oh, fuck. And you can like, or the night before that, and like you can kind of compare like,
oh, they generally do this number of songs.
This is usually the closer.
And so you're like,
okay, I can pick up my coat from Coach Egg.
No.
You can be the line of Coach Egg.
You did the hockey game.
Oh, there's 10 minutes.
I gotta go.
No, no, no.
I'll be the line up for Coach Egg.
And then come back holding my coat for the last two years.
Right.
And then just away you go.
Then I'm like a thief in the night.
Yeah, how long did she play for?
Two hours.
Fuck, that's amazing.
Okay, yeah.
And she has an amazing voice.
Casey posted on her stories,
it sounded like so amazing.
Yeah.
Like, clear.
It's almost flinty.
Did you have a British part in it?
Why isn't she famous?
I was saying that.
She was on, she did one, two, three, four on Sesame Street.
It was featured in an episode of The Office, if I recall correctly.
Sure.
She had a gap ad.
Yeah, no, iPhone ad, I think, iPod maybe.
Something. Yeah. Oh, yeah. But she's like so talented, so great. Yeah, she, iPhone ad, I think, iPod maybe? Something. Yeah. Oh, yeah.
But she's like so talented, so great.
Yeah, she's great.
And she's Canadian?
Yeah, from Calgary.
I didn't know that.
Shit.
I didn't know that.
She went to my high school.
Let's look up her high school.
I thought she was American.
No way, man.
OK, I'm an idiot.
No.
I'm a dummy for history.
You knew that.
I didn't know that.
I didn't. I had a dummy for history. You knew that I didn't know that I didn't I had to ask okay
But she's you know, she's she's a killer. She's uh, I
Love okay. You want to know where she went? Yeah, yeah, do it to two. Okay one of them. Of course you went to this one
Central Western
Come on what kind of music?
She went to alternative high school.
Alternative high school, yes.
What kind of music?
That's what you.
And the other one, this is one of the classic
high schools that get gets mentioned on.
Henry Wisewood.
Nope. Scarlet, E.P. Scarlet.
No, come on. Not Lord Beaver Rook. Obviously. No, come on. Youwood. Nope. Scarlet, E.P. Scarlet? No, come on. Not Lord Beaver Ruckock.
No, come on.
You're the.
Western, central.
No, no.
Four.
I can tell you who else went to this high school.
Yes.
Mark Tewkesbury.
Ooh, swimmer.
OK.
Now I will know.
So it would have to be a high school with a pool,
is what I see here. I don't know.
Dana Merson.
Why would you know that?
I didn't know it.
Dana Merson.
Healy Wickenheiser.
Wow.
All of these people went to this fucking high school?
Yeah, feist.
I thought the high school was a camp.
Bishop Carroll. Yeah, Bishop Carroll
Big school with a lot of big stars. Yeah. Yeah, obviously to mark Dukesbury when you go by yourself. Do you dance?
Or do you stand there? Do you like I don't know if you've heard this woman's music?
It was really like, you know that
Like you'd like move a little bit. Yeah, yeah, sway.
But it was really like, you know that,
how you kind of imagine a concert when you're a kid
and you're like, oh yeah, the audience sings along
and they sing a part and the singer sings a part,
but that never really happened.
It happened.
Yeah.
Oh, that's fine.
I think that's good.
And then like there was like, you know,
like a clap along part where it was like, you know,
like not your regular clap along
was slightly more complicated and we nailed it.
Oh, no.
Did she do like one and then you had to be like two, two.
And then she's no, it was just it was just the.
Oh, OK, yes.
I find that when that happens, people really keep the beat for a couple of bars and then start falling apart.
There's a drummer.
Is it? Oh, yeah.
And she was like, she has this like loop
where she was like harmonizing with herself.
It was good, she's great.
Let's check out.
Fun.
FICE.
FICE.
What's your latest album?
Multitudes.
Multitudes, check out Multitudes in stores, I assume.
Target.
Target, Best Buy.
Yeah. Anyway, it was fun.
Nobody got hurt?
Nobody got hurt. Everyone was in bed by 11.
Oh, there wasn't a mosh pit at this one.
Or was there?
I don't believe so.
Oh, okay.
Not from where I was standing.
You couldn't see it though, because there's so many tall ladies.
I was standing behind Cheryl Swoops.
Good. good reference.
How about you? What's going on with you?
Well, this week, Dave did me a very kind service in informing me that on a certain web streaming app called Tooby. Oh, I forgot about it.
That there was episodes of Evening at the Embrave
from the late 80s, early 90s.
I just got really excited.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I've watched almost all of them.
I think I have two left.
And I only had one season of that.
Yeah.
And then there was that other show that had Jenny Jones on it.
Oh.
That was sort of like evening,
it had like celebrity hosts doing jokes.
Yeah, well that's what this does as well.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
So it's like, one of them was Christopher Plummer,
which was weird.
Okay.
Because he's not a comedian at all.
And then who else was, Billy Crystal was one of them.
There was one I saw that had Timothy Leary.
Oh, that must be one of the ones I haven't seen.
Yeah.
That wasn't either me at the improv.
That was the other one I told you.
Oh, right.
That had like John Stamos.
Oh, what's the other one?
What is this one?
Well, I...
I went that over even at the improv.
Those were great.
Like, there's some stinkers on there though, right?
On even at the improv?
Yes, absolutely.
Um, uh, okay.
I said, God, when did I send you this?
Earlier in the week.
And it was, it was very kind because I would never have known
that this was on a streaming service for free.
Oh yeah.
Oh, yeah.
It's called Improv Tonight.
Improv Tonight, the one I was watching evening at the Improv,
but I will be watching Improv tonight.
It has John Stamos, Ricardo Montalbal.
Yes. This one's.
Oh, also, Tubi has multiple Yakov Smirnoff specials.
Yes, I know what I'm doing tonight.
I love it.
God damn.
There was, yeah, there was Christopher Plummer.
There was Shelley Winters.
And do they do material?
They do.
Shelley Winters sang.
Because John Stamos was doing jokes.
Yes.
That's going to be tonight's watch.
I'm really excited.
Yeah, it's a
the comics range from like people you've totally heard of
before Jerry Seinfeld, doing his act about the mirror
effect, like putting a mirror makes the house look bigger.
And that you're like, who's that guy over there
that looks like me?
That was a good joke.
But he wasn't any better than any of the other comics.
Well, here's the thing about Jerry Seinfeld.
No.
There was like watching Seinfeld as a kid,
I was like, well, this has the greatest comedian.
Yeah.
He has a whole show, but his life is a comedian.
Yeah.
And then, and then even the standup is so good,
they put it in the show.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then you watch it now and it's not good.
But it's like, there was no difference between him
and another guy that did similar observations.
Like they were all the same stew.
Didn't it that time a lot of people do observational though?
Yeah, there was a lot of observational
and a lot of like there were more characters.
There was a guy that he did a whole character.
First he had like a Latin accent
and then over the show he had a Western accent
like a cowboy accent. On purpose? Yeah, had a Western accent, like a Cowboy accent.
On purpose?
Yeah, but then.
Oh my God, this sounds great.
Dave, yes.
It was great.
There's a woman, I can't remember her name, but she was so funny and she was one of the
writers on Roseanne and because I looked her up.
Of course you can't remember her name.
Yeah.
Jerry something.
Sorry about that.
I can't remember any of the comics names, but oh, it's great.
It's great.
Uh, if you have to be, uh, I can't recommend it.
And no one has to be.
It's through the like, is it the thing through?
Is it through Roku?
I think it's free.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
And there's ads.
They play the same ad and every ad break, but, uh, it's perfect.
Cause it's a show that already had ad breaks built in.
But the one thing that I don't remember them doing, and as I feel like this
is happens a lot when somebody's like, well, we've got a camera, we still got time.
We'll do they did like shitty sketches about the staff that work there.
The staff talking to the staff, like the like the bar, bar stuff.
Yeah. Yeah. And one of them was played by,
do you remember a show called My Secret Identity?
Yeah.
Yeah, the scientist from that was one of the staff at the
New Browling.
So it was an extra and you got put up.
He put up, yeah, exactly.
He looked good.
Well, the scientist was the co-star of My Secret Identity
with Jerry O'Connell.
Yes.
Well, I wonder what high school he went to.
He's not Canadian. Yeah. He's not Canadian.
Yeah, he's not Canadian.
No.
But yeah, anyways, I implore everybody,
get on 2B, watch this.
The only shame is that there's only one season,
because it would just be like I'd watch a comedian a day
and really-
Well, because I only told you this
because you've been looking for a comedy at Club 54.
I know. And if anybody out there's got to lead on where I can get where I can get my hands on
some comedy at the club 54. I thought you had it. I used to watch that late night.
Yeah. Is there somebody that posted something about like Mike Bullard's whole every episode of
Mike Bullard? Was that you on? I know. Okay, I thought that was on a blocked party or something
like that which you did an episode of.
Oh yeah, check me out.
I did, after recording last week's episode of this show,
I recorded an episode of blocked party
and they did our show where they did over herds
and they did get to know us.
They were like, we're doing other shows formats
for February and I was like, good luck with ours.
Good luck trying to find a format in here.
But I feel like all the shows now with the video component, they don't have any
format. They're just chatting with.
Oh, they'll have a thing where they're like, we're talking about.
Right.
Yeah.
Movies or angels in our society.
Yeah.
We're talking about angels. We mostly talk about. Are you guys or angels in our society. Yeah, we're talking about angels.
What mostly we talk about.
Are you guys talking about podcasts?
Yeah.
No, Halle Berry just came out.
Oh, well, she's got all.
Bieber came out with one.
Justin Bieber?
Halle Bieber.
Oh, I thought you were talking about the actress.
I know.
I said if I'm mistaken.
She just did.
Hailey Bieber.
Hailey Bieber.
Hailey, whatever.
It is, Oh, God.
What's she up to?
Well, she has her own lip gloss line.
OK, skin product.
Nice. And now she's doing this.
Who's her first guest?
Don't say, Dave, I know you're looking.
Who would who's her first guest?
Justin Bieber. No.
Alec Baldwin, her uncle.
She's a wrong. It's a female. Her uncle. Alec Baldwin. Her uncle. She's a wrong uncle. It's a female.
Her uncle is Alec Baldwin.
Blow up her podcast.
Oh, blow it up.
My internet is not working.
It's in the bathroom.
It's weird.
Okay.
The bathroom, I guess, is the size of a house.
It's huge.
Oh, you know, I mean, things have changed so much.
People used to read on the toilet.
Now they're doing podcasts.
I guess on the toilet.
Yes.
Go.
Okay, movie or music or other?
I haven't, I looked, I was, my internet's bad.
So I haven't been able to find it.
OJ Simpson.
He said other, Gwyneth Paltrow.
No.
No, I, okay. From other, like a reality show,
Kim Kardashian.
Comedian.
Ah, ugh.
Nat Rife.
Female.
You know, Cathy Griffith.
No.
Cathy Griffin.
Yes, no.
Elaine Boosler.
Elaine Boosler is one of those episodes. Oh.
Yeah.
Carol Leifer, Elaine Boosler.
Okay.
Taylor Collins.
They dated someone you already talked about on the episode.
Oh, Chelsea Handler.
Yes.
Oh, shit.
I was going to say Megan Fox, but.
And what did they just, they just talked about their life or did there was a concoction?
It's a short clip.
It's Chelsea being...
Nasty?
Yeah.
I was gonna say sea, but bitchy.
And then...
You just can't wait to say that word.
You're holding back what you do when I say that word.
Is it Hallie, Haley?
She just keeps dropping food in her breath.
And Justin Bieber comes and eats it like a baby bird.
Yeah.
It's the weirdest thing ever.
What are they eating like subs or something?
They're eating fruit.
And she just like, huh, it keeps going in there.
Ramen noodles going in.
And she's wearing like a weird lingerie.
Am I going to watch it?
Yes, of course I am.
You're wearing a lingerie. Like the crazy bra, I don't know.
She could model, she could wear whatever.
Yeah, that's true.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, but like I said, check out Evening Out The Improv.
And there's new podcasts.
And check out the, do you know the name of the podcast?
Haley Tonight.
She's probably.
Yeah. How old of the podcast is? Ailee tonight? She's probably. Yeah.
How old are the Bieber's?
She is like 20, no, 31.
That's my guess, 31.
31, both of them, 31.
Justin Bieber.
29.
29.
Really?
Yeah.
Jesus, he's still in his 20s.
Wow.
How old is she?
27.
That's 28.
Hope she doesn't join
that club. No, yeah, that's true. Just give our fingers crossed for the rest of the year.
Jamming up there with Jimmy. Spill it, Spill it. Food done. Jesus is sure. Jesus was 33.
Oh, I see it's still in the 27th. Yeah. You know the 27th club, right?
No.
Do you not?
No.
It's a group, mostly musicians or actors.
I think it was the 33.
Jesus.
No, but Chris Farley, all of that.
Oh, maybe there's a 33 club too.
It's a 27th, like Jim Andrews, Jim Morrison, Morris, Janice Joplin, Kirk Cobain,
Cobain, Amy Winehouse.
I was gonna say it was the J Club,
because of the names, but then the last two ruined it.
Yeah.
Well, Jesus should be in that culture.
Yeah.
But he's 33.
They should call the 33 one the J Club.
Mm.
The 33 Club is a private dining club
at various Disney parks.
Oh, okay.
That's why I remembered it.
It's so great.
Yeah, the number 33 Club does sound like an establishment, heavenly establishment.
But I thought Chris Farley, Belushi, I thought they were 31, 33, one of the two.
Come on.
Make this work for Jane.
Okay.
Am I, am I going to do this?
Are you a dial-up?
What's happening?
Yes.
Chris Farley was 33.
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
There you go.
That's one.
That's one.
One.
Oh, and him and Jesus.
So that's two.
And Jim Belushi's still alive.
No.
John Belushi was still alive. No.
John Belushi was also 33.
There you go.
That's why.
Well done.
Well done.
I thought it was, yeah, I never heard the 27.
I know.
Boom.
Yeah.
OK.
It'll be all the better for it.
Any other in the 33 club?
Captain Ahab.
I mean, it's really hard to figure this out. I wonder if
there are other 27 club members of just people we've never heard of from history? Well, yeah,
plenty of people died at the 37. Okay. This is the famous people who died at 33. Well, this is sad.
No, I'm not going to do this. Fair enough. Eva Perone.
Eva Perone.
Okay, there you go.
That's officially a club.
Yup, there's four of them up there.
Jammin' with Jimi Hendrix.
Four Jimi Hendrix has got a jam with everybody that comes up there.
He's just 24 hours a day jammin'.
Gosh, God rest his soul.
Should we move on to some overheard?
Yeah, please.
Max Fun Drive 2024.
Max Fun Drive.
What about it?
It'll be the best time for someone to support the podcast they love.
Oh, yeah.
Drive exclusive gifts, special events, and of course all the amazing
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Otherwise, checkmate.
It's hard to explain what happens on Jordan Jesse Goh.
So I had my kids do it.
Thanks, wayward.
Thanks, wayward.
Yeah, um, bad jokes.
Bad jokes?
Bad jokes. Bad jokes? Bad jokes.
Maybe it's like you tell people that you're going to interview them and then you just
stay there like really quiet and try and creep them out.
It's just really boring.
Because of Jordan, right?
Not me.
Because of both of you.
Oh. Subscribe to Jordan Jesse Go, a comedy show for grown-ups.
Overheard!
Overheard's a segment where if you could be so kind as to share your things that you hear in the world with us,
you'd be oh so appreciative. And we always like to start with the guest,
Jane, do you have an overheard?
I do.
Do you want the one from last night?
Or the one from the two of Jane?
Jane, we know nothing.
Yeah.
Okay, fine.
I know one that happened last night.
Do you want to do both?
I do.
Yeah.
Do you want to go two in a row?
Do you want to go around the horn?
Oh, we'll go around the horn.
Around the horn, here we go.
Okay, we'll do the one that's at the top of the list.
Okay, so I joined a new gym and it's called Altia
and it's this Shushu Shishi gym.
Shushu Shishi?
It's like equinox, is that the, yeah.
Like so much that.
You're looking at me like I know anything about gyms.
You know, the one that everyone does spin and everything.
Graham knows according to gym.
Yeah.
That's what I always secretly hope Jim is classed. Okay, so it has a hot Yoda...
Yoda.
I love that my crush just came out.
Who's your crush?
So Freudian. She's pretty, I think. Why did I just do that?
He just leaves me.
She's pretty, I think.
Although I think she's pretty.
Yeah, no, it works.
It works.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I know I said stuff wrong.
She's pretty, I think.
Isn't that wrong?
Is it wrong enough?
Yeah.
Pretty, she is, I think.
Yeah, there you go.
Fine, Dave.
God.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I She's pretty, I think. Isn't that wrong enough?
Pretty she is, I think.
Fine, Dave.
God.
I love hot Yoda.
Is this a long, beautiful hair?
No, I like a big piece of the baby.
And hot yoga,
pop-a-lattis, all that stuff.
I joined it and they have a steam room in a sauna
and I love that.
And so I walked in and there's two younger ladies
and they had the towels around them, but breasts out.
And I should be okay with nakedness.
This is not a, this is a woman only.
Yeah. Oh no, this, the bathroom part is.
And I sat down and they started talking.
And one of them was like, I was gonna pet stuff on Tik Tok.
And the other ones like you to daa.
And it's just me.
And then I also wanted to like tell them to stop talking
cause it says no talking in there.
I wanted to be like new talking.
Yeah. And they had so much filler and bow talk, like so much. And she's like,
I was gonna take a new coffee cup. But then I already went viral. And the friend was like,
ha, ha, ha, ha. And I was like, what? And I looked at her too. And then my look when I'm like,
not impressed is you can tell. And I was like, oh, and then her family's like, ha, ha, ha, and they were saying hilarious
and they couldn't say hilarious
because they had so much filler,
like they couldn't go hilarious.
They were like, ha, ha, ha, ha,
and they were like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
and they were like, what are they, sorry,
I ruined the sound for that.
I'm sorry.
It was so, I walked out.
With your towel, I'm out of here.
I took their towels too. Get those off of you.
Yes.
So it was listening to really intelligent conversations.
Yeah.
They're gonna...
I hope they put their coffee cup on Tikka.
Yeah, they don't even have IRL.
IRL.
I don't know if it's necessarily filler.
I think it's just that it's the accent.
Yeah, that's right.
No, I could tell with their lips like they had the...
I knew.
I knew.
I knew.
I knew.
I knew.
I knew.
I knew.
I knew.
I knew.
I knew.
I knew.
I knew.
I knew.
I knew.
I knew. I knew. I knew. I knew. I knew. But he's doing a Popeye face. He's doing a Popeye face. Or like Bill Murray from Caddyshack.
That's what we got all the filler there.
He did have filler though.
Yeah, that's how he got that.
Dave, do you have another word?
Mine is, someone spoke to me.
So I was at Safeway.
There's a guy in the checkout,
a guy working there, a cashier, who is like 30 and is usually pretty quiet,
but he strikes me as like a huge stoner.
And normally he doesn't talk to me,
but on this day, he just had an idea
of what he wanted to talk about.
And I happened to be there. And, and so I was, you know,
standing there while he was beeping all my items and he said,
did they ever make a TV show out of a grocery store?
They should. They made a movie once. It was,
it was about these items in a grocery store And some of them went missing and they were wondering
where they went and it was called Sausage Party.
And I say, oh yeah, yeah, it was a cartoon.
And he said, yeah, but I wouldn't show it to your kids though.
But speaking of kids, ever since Disney bought Star Wars,
those movies are for kids now.
And I was like, oh yeah.
Like, I might just with a tap or that.
Because before, like, they used to, the old ones, they weren't for kids.
And I was like, well, this is me making a point to them.
I was like, well, you saw them when you were a kid, didn't you?
Yeah, nice.
He goes, yeah, but I did get, my parents to give me a lot of help.
Tell me what was going on.
Yeah, there was a lot of chatter in that movie.
And I don't know, I think they should have just left it at six movies.
It's like you're talking to my brother.
And I said, well, you know, some people think they should have left it at three movies.
And he said, yeah, but the special effects got better.
Yeah.
And you'll like this, Jane.
Oh.
Because, you know, I didn't like that puppet Yoda.
Hot Yoda.
Yeah.
Anyway, I really enjoy that guy.
That was great. Yeah. I like that you were going, yeah, I always do that. That was great.
Yeah.
I like that you were going, yeah.
I always do that too when someone's like talking to me that I'm like,
I don't know and you'll, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, you're kind of pulling away.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, I couldn't pull away.
My food was in shambles.
I wonder if he said that to everybody.
I know.
That's what I wonder.
That would be my favorite thing.
That's weird.
That was his thing. He just started going away. Oh, yeah's what I wonder. That would be my favorite thing. That's weird. That was his thing he just started going away with.
Oh yeah, like I wanna know like big coin.
But like also he's been, for at least a year,
he's been working in this store.
Nothing?
Nothing, but also like just today it struck you
that maybe a TV show in a grocery store would be a good idea.
That wasn't there a moot.
No, I think, well maybe it was a grocery store where a couple
not a couple, but a woman and a man get locked in there overnight and she's a babe and he's
kind of a goof. There's one where she's a mannequin. No, no. Oh my God, it's killing me. She's in the...
It's a movie where they do drugs. It's seen when they go ass to ass.
Oh, yeah. Oh, it's Jennifer Connolly.
Is it the sure thing? Is that where...
Yeah, I think that's right.
That's one of her first movies.
And she's writing on the mechanical...
It's in a Target or a Walmart.
Yeah.
It was really bad.
But there was also a...
Why do I know it so well?
What was the one with Dex Shepard
and Jessica Simpson and Dane Cook?
Oh yeah.
That was like a Costco.
Yeah, okay.
Yeah.
Well, there's Superstore, the TV show as well.
I like that you're...
Which is also a Costco or Walmart style thing.
Oh yeah.
You're go-to explanation of her as, you are your go to explanation of
her as you know, that movie where she's butt to butt. I mean,
probably a lot of people would be like, Oh yeah, I know who
you're talking about. You guys got it. Right away. We got it
right away. I was going to go the train TV show that she
filmed up here. Oh, yeah. Thomas the Tank Engine. Yes.
Not a lot of people know those shot here in BC.
Jennifer Connelly, the beautiful Jennifer Connelly. So pretty.
Probably the most iconic but-to-but shot of any film.
I don't remember it.
Like, I saw that in the theater.
I was very troubled by it.
It was such a bummer.
Yeah, I've seen it once.
Maybe they did that as a bit of levity at the end of the week. Don't do drugs.
But like, there's some things that are iconic that I don't pick up on.
Oh sure.
Like people love in Christmas vacation, people love when he says the shitters fall.
For some people that's what the entire movie is to them.
Yeah, that's true.
If you just said that, I know what you'd be talking about.
Yeah.
But not the butt to butt?
Not the butt to butt, not the shiters' full for me.
Huh.
Although, nothing really is iconic to me, I guess, about that recreation bird dream.
Oh, the thing where they take a pill and then it shows a thing and shows a thing and their
irises going big.
I feel like that was used a lot.
I don't know.
Her is a sad mother.
Oh, yeah, sad mother.
Jared Leto in one of his first films that did well as the theater.
I mean, was he in Fight Club before that?
Oh, yeah.
And I feel like Fight Club also would have done the iris going big.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Was he in Fight Club?
Yeah.
I don't remember that.
Very briefly.
Okay.
Well, he gets beaten up.
He gets pre-into a pulp.
Yeah.
But he still sticks around after his face is all mangled.
Yeah.
You have to.
He's part of Fight Club.
That's true.
Yeah, there's no walking away from Fight Club.
He can't.
Um, I uh, my over is an over scene.
Okay.
This is a, this is a callback to, I feel like it was a You can't. My over is an overseen. Okay, okay.
This is a callback to,
I feel like it was a couple of years ago
that I saw the same thing,
but I was just overjoyed to see it for a second time,
is I was walking, just having a good long walk,
and I was where there were fences to my left,
and I looked over at a fence that had a clothing line and how that was several pairs of white briefs that had crazy skidmarks.
I knew you were gonna say that.
seeing it again was just like the idea that whoever did that was
pissed off at the guy who's so sure I'm gonna hang him out to drive you over to get to you. But yeah, it's happened again.
And I'm pleased to report it.
And look, obviously, I don't have that problem because of
Mad Musil is so great. But I can suggest to this person try
another color of underwear. Right? No, I'm a white. I'm
specifically these white underwear.
I want to hold onto these forever.
I love that you think she's mad at him.
I got, he's doing his laundry.
That's where I got like, okay, yeah.
I'm just gonna split it out here.
And also it was kind of a rainy day too.
So that was the thing about clothes line. That was a dude, then it was a dude. Yeah. There's no was kind of a rainy day too. So that was the thing about close life.
That was a dude, then it was a dude.
Yeah.
There's no way that was a feeling.
I don't know, I just have a fantasy
that it was somebody getting revenge on him for something.
The neighbors are like, did you see the poops under him?
That's what he's known as in the block, a skin mark.
Oh, Jesus, here comes skin marks.
By quiet.
Oh, I definitely had people who had nicknames, like secret nicknames.
There's a guy, here's one.
I think I probably told this before, a guy who we worked together, but he was the only
one who used his private computer.
Like we all had computers that we just used at work.
There was one computer that was his,
but also sometimes other people had to use it.
And one time I went on Google
and the recent search was bumps on penis.
So his nickname was bumps.
Oh, wow.
Of all the things.
You're a personal computer.
I mean, like, 2006.
Bumps on penis, feet.
Wow.
Did I hear you have a second over hurt?
I do. Jane, we'd love to hear.
Okay, great.
We're gagging for it.
Last night I went by a good friend of mine, Alexia.
She just got a dog and I was had it for the night.
Anyways, she comes outside to give me the dog
and there's a guy there and he's talking to my friend
and he says, I don't know what's
going on, but I used to shoot out what babies are made from and now it's Coca-Cola.
And she was a dog and I went, I gotta go.
And I laughed.
I was so upset.
So this is a guy with a medical problem?
Yeah.
But he's two-to-two ages.
But he also said it to the right person. She's a nurse. Yeah. But he's two two timid to say cheese.
But he also said it to the right person. She's a nurse.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
So that's the best thing he could have done.
And what did she say?
Yeah.
I drove off.
I was so disgusted.
Well, you got to follow up.
Hopefully she gave him a little because there's people.
A shot.
She just has it on her.
Wait here.
There's people in our audience who are wondering, you know.
Yeah.
Why is my pain, my sperm like a like Coca-Cola. Yeah. And why specifically
Coca-Cola? Yeah. Yeah. But like, is it? Yeah. Is it fizzy or
could you also just say coffee? Well, you put ice cubes in it
looks good, you know, like those Coca commercials. I screamed
the window was open and I drove off.
Very immature of you, Jane. Well, I was not. I didn't like it.
This is a guy just trying to figure out why his sperm is brown all of a sudden.
And fizzy.
He could have made babies, now he can't.
Yeah, they're like, how much gravy are you eating?
Oh, yeah, a lot of gravy.
How do you know you can't make gravies anymore?
That's what he said.
I used to come out where babies,
but I guess it was clear and now it's not clear. anymore. That's what he said. I used to come out where babies, but like, I guess it was clear.
And now it's not clear.
Well, it's clear.
Clear crystal Pepsi coming out of his.
Isn't it clear?
Oh, no, Jane.
Oh, Jane.
I don't understand science.
When two women love each other very much, they go butt to butt style.
I didn't realize they loved each other.
So I thought it was sort of like rock bottom.
It was a serious relationship.
But like, he sees the color change, but how does he know babies can't be made?
How many babies does he make on a daily basis?
Hundreds.
Well, you learned a lot today.
I think we all learned a lot.
Yeah, we don't need to do anymore.
Oh, yeah.
No, let's just do the show here.
We've got some overhards from people out there in the world.
If you want to send one, you can send it to SPY at maximumfun.org.
This first one comes from Jake from Calgary, Alberta.
I was working on a construction site when I walked past the guy talking to his
apprentice and in a strong Polish accent, which I can't do, he said,
sex and pierogies, that's all you need.
Yeah, name another thing that you need.
Oh, like, hmm, like sour cream.
Yeah, sour cream, fried onions.
Fried onions.
Yeah, oh man.
When was the last time you had a pierogi?
Forever. Yeah. They have the gluten free ones, they're not, that's good. No. Yeah. Oh man. When's the last time you had a brogue forever? Yeah. There's a gluten free ones. They're not as good. They're just not
Um, I do you know you don't like gluten? Um, something called celiac. Yeah, you still eat some gluten though
I haven't forever. Yeah, since I've lost a hundred pounds, but pre that I use the loss of hundred pounds. Yes
What the hell?
Since April like like 2020.
2020 is the last time you had any, any gluten.
Before that.
Yeah, I get gluten periodically.
Yeah.
For my parents because they don't care.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then how long, like if you had pizza, how long is that going to stick around for?
I have gluten-free pizza.
Is it good?
Sometimes.
No.
Why do you have to do this to me?
I'm genuinely curious.
We got some pierogis in the freezer.
Although I haven't busted them out this year.
They're about a year old now.
So are they still good?
No.
If they're frozen.
No.
What are you talking about?
This is too-
It's like you're my parents.
They'll have stuff from 2015.
I think they're still fine. Yeah, I think they're still fine
Oh, they have freezer burn if you see like open up as freezer burn then no freezer burn the same color as Broglie's that's hard to tell
wait
clear
But what's so what?
What am I gonna get the freezer burn disease? Yeah? Yeah
So what am I gonna get? Freeze of burn disease?
Yeah.
You'd be like the people from...
Winter's coming.
You could be like a frozen zombie.
Oh yeah.
Winter Walker, is that what they're called?
I feel like you never watched the show.
I never did.
I watched the last episode.
Because you went Winter Walker.
Guys, is that right?
Edgar Winter.
This next one comes from Emma from Vancouver. My overheard comes from a local
dollar store where my little boy, where a little boy, sorry, was loudly protesting behind
his mom as they walked away from the toy section. I overheard her say, I said no, which the boy
responded, but mom, I'm not asking for weapons, I'm just asking for this skeleton mask. You
didn't say anything about skeleton mask.
I'm kind of if you don't want me to have a gun.
I was at a different grocery store the other day,
and this woman had a kid in a stroller
and two other kids that were like running around
and could not get,
no, we're not getting that.
And they would like walk around and start opening,
so no, we're not getting that, put that bag.
And then the cashier was like, I know what to do.
We have, would you guys like some stickers?
And the kids went right over.
Nice.
And but the boy went immediately and was like,
put the backs of his hands towards her.
As if like, put the stickers on my hands.
This is where they're going anyways.
We'll cut at the middle, man.
If you got a sticker, where would you put it?
Like when you were a kid, would you put it on schoolbook?
Would you put it on a shelf?
Binder?
Photobook, I had like a sticker collection.
I had some of those.
Scratch and sniff, so many.
That was like a lot of money spent on that.
Not too much, but like a lot.
Yeah, I think you could, yeah,
you could really win over a kid with stickers.
Stickers are way more common these days.
Like-
They're making a huge comeback.
But also like they're not,
they're just come with other stuff.
Like you get so many stickers,
like we have more stickers
than we'll ever stick in our lives.
My kids are trying though.
Just check out the back there.
Hold onto them until you know,
if you're a grandfather
and then you could really dole them out, you know?
Yeah, these are the stickers of my youth.
Sure. Do you kids remember?
Freakin I can't.
Peppa Pig and stuff.
This last one comes from I was trying to think of Abby Hatcher,
Fuzzly Catcher.
What was that?
It's a current show.
Is it on a Disney? Yeah, it's on the streaming. I think it's maybe on Netflix's a current show. Is it on a Disney?
Yeah, it's on the streaming.
I think it's maybe on Netflix.
A kid's show?
A kid's show?
Is that what it is?
Yeah.
Okay, I don't know.
Happy Hatcher Fuzzly Catcher?
Yeah, it sounds good.
Sounds really good.
Just catching fuzzlies to give them hugs?
What the fuck are fuzzlies?
I don't know.
Don't fuck a fuzzly.
Don't fuck a fuzzly.
Don't fuck a fuzzly after midnight.
This last one comes from Phil A. Parts unknown.
Overhood of mother and child's conversation as they ran out of a building.
Kid, why are we running mom?
I don't want to be late.
All the places to be not late to it is karate.
You show up late, like too late to that.
Yeah, you don't get any boards to chop.
You're going to be late to the dojo cat.
They start saying, yeah, you're like, I missed high.
The tail end of yeah.
Is it one of those places that blocks the door too?
Which is like certain things that do that, right? Yeah.
Hot yoga.
Oh, yoga.
I got just that happen last week.
At this club was this the Saunas were coed or these different
on ladies that's in the like the bathroom.
OK, Katie like changing.
Yeah, nice.
Yeah, sauna and hot tub.
Like world.
Hot tub.
That'd be weird. Gross. Hot tub. Oh, no, sauna, steam room. Yeah. Yeah. Nice. Yeah. Sana and hot tub like whirlpool hot tub. That'd be weird. Gross hot tub. No, Sana
steam room.
So in steam room. Okay. Yeah. So now you're getting you're
drying yourself out steam room loosening things up.
I'm fine with a hot tub like at the Airbnb in Salt Spring.
That's fine. I don't like a public hot tub like in a rec
center. Gross up up tub.
Hmm. I mean, probably now I would agree with you. But young
Graham was hopping in, hopping in that,
going in the water, going back in the hot tub,
going back in the water.
Yes!
It was the best.
In addition, over hers that are written in,
we also, we gotta get this show over.
In addition, over hers that are written in,
we also accept your phone calls.
If you wanna call us, our phone number is
1-844-779-7631.
That's one. Spipod, one like these people have.
Hey Dave, Graham, and possible guests. This is Danny in Chicago. I'm just leaving the
gym and an employee came out of the break room and said to another, hey, Greg, there's donuts in here.
And he responded, no way.
That's cop food off I go.
Cock food, cop food.
Oh, I thought he said cock food.
You guys, you can stick your thing in there.
I guess you can stack a few on top.
Is your.
That's what I thought.
I believe it was cop food.
Cop food. Yeah.
As protesting the.
He hates the he hates the man. Yes. The. Cop food, yeah. As protesting the... He hates the man.
Yes, the bastards, all cops are bastards, he says.
The thin blue line, et cetera, et cetera.
I get it.
Yeah, no way, man.
He works at the gym.
He knows how hard it is to lose weight.
He's seen it all the time.
So hard.
It's the worst.
They also have to look pretty good if you're a trainer.
I think.
Oh sure, and cops too.
Yeah, I mean, it would be very suspect if you're a trainer,
very out of shape, just heavy breathing the whole time
when after any demonstration.
But it's also a dick to you as well.
Yeah, you get in shape.
You think it's so easy.
Oh man.
I'm trying to think of something, Trying to come up with a joke that's like the TBL, thin blue line and the BBL, Brazilian
butt left.
Is there anything there?
There's something there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know what?
Give me 50 jokes about it.
By Friday?
By Friday on my desk.
Next phone call.
Hey guys.
Hey. Calling from Kingston, Ontario.
It's a group of folks younger.
Well, to me, middle age, maybe, um,
hipster types. Uh,
we're talking about wheels of cheese on one of them,
disgustedly throw up their hands and says,
the chief literacy in this country is disgusting.
Off I go.
Great.
It's true though.
Yeah, I guess.
Have you seen those videos that are like, um, it'll be, it'll be rapid
fire.
I've mostly seen them in French and they'll be asking someone like, uh, a
bunch of French food like croissant or, uh, you know, creme brûlée,
croissant, and like just giving them two options
until they determine what their favorite food is.
I saw one that was just cheeses
and it went to like really super specific cheeses.
And what was it?
Was it the winning cheese?
I can't remember.
I have terrible cheese literacy.
It's embarrassing.
I have a cheese literacy of like a fourth grader.
I like that that guy, he was just describing
several different things all at once.
Younger, middle-aged, hipster.
Skateboarders.
I don't know what group he loved.
Flappers.
What is American cheese?
I thought it was like Kraft, isn't that?
Is it craft singles?
Yeah, no.
It's an orange, it's not a cheddar.
It's almost a big block of processed cheese.
So what you're saying, like that.
Like a lighter color than.
But like, I feel like that would be good on like.
A cheeseburger.
Yeah.
But like, where do you get it?
America.
America.
But can you get it here?
Cause like you can get a block of cheddar.
Velveeta.
Is Velveeta that?
I feel like it is.
Oh okay.
They're cousins, absolutely.
Oh, someone our listeners are gonna tell me.
And you know what, don't.
What's the, have you ever seen the video of like,
the, it's a big cheese wheel
and like somebody goes with like a hot knife thing?
It's like-
Is it like reclet?
Reclet, yes.
Oh, just seeing that video, oh, blows my mind.
What do you, what's reclet?
Reclet is a, it's like a, boy, is it like a heating lamp
that heats the thing and then you like shave it off
onto this sort of pan and put it over top of whatever,
your potatoes.
I'm literally solving.
Yeah, yeah.
No, it's that video is like, I've never been to a place that does that.
And I don't know where you go to find that Switzerland.
Yes.
Yes.
Your reclet, your Roche D, your fondue.
Yeah.
And your final overheard.
Hi, David Graham.
This is Kate calling from California.
I was at the doctor's office the other day and the medical assistant was getting ready
to take my temperature with the forehead thermometer.
And so she pulled it out and she said, all right, I'm just going to slide this over your
dome piece.
Off I go.
Bye.
Over your dome piece.
What is a forehead thermometer? Okay, off I go, bye. Oh, your dome piece.
What is a forehead thermometer?
Well, I thought it was just gonna be the laser one
where you shoot the person in the head with the little gun.
Like, is it a, you apply it to the head?
That's what I was thinking.
Or you think it's the gun one?
I thought it was the gun one,
except when she said I'm gonna slide this over your head piece.
Yeah, I don't know.
Because when I was a kid you got...
The rectum.
My mom had one.
Rectum?
Yeah, they nearly killed him.
Yeah.
And it's still there to this day.
She is too much force.
Yeah.
When I Google...
It beeps every once in a while.
Yeah.
When I Google a forehead thermometer, it is all the gun.
Oh, it's all the gun.
Because when I was a kid, I remember my mom had like a
black, like it looked like kind of a film and you put it on
the forehead and it would tell you.
Oh yeah, I saw a picture of that here.
Yeah.
I just had the one you put in the mouth and then I just
tried to like skip school.
I put it on the light and it was way too hot.
Jayne, we have to get you to the emergency room.
110.
Jayne, I don't believe you.
Firstly, because we could see you do it,
because we took the door off your room.
You just said it.
But, yeah, we have a year one.
It's great.
Yeah.
Yeah, the year one's good.
It comes with, like, different things,
like little plastic kind of... Protectors? Protectors that you're supposed to throw away after every time you use it.
Because you have the same one for seven years.
Just put it in the freezer next to the Brogies.
Well, it's time to end this podcast for today.
Jane, tell us about your tour.
Where when does it start?
Where could people find out about it?
March 7th to March 10th. Port Moody, Victoria, Duncan, Campbell River, Queens of Comedy.
You put in Queens of Comedy and my name, you'll be able to find it.
Yeah. Sure. Okay.
And on Instagram, it's all my beacons. Yeah, come please.
Yeah.
It'll be great.
Yeah. It sounds great. Sounds like a great show.
Beacons. I've never heard of beacons before
Yeah, where's like bacon?
I did it over a link tree, okay?
Well, thank you so much for being our guest for having it and thank you all you out there for listening to the podcast
if you
Are out there and you're wondering what the American cheese is or if you know let us know
and come on back next week for another episode of Stop Bunk as Yourself.
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