Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 837 - Dave Merheje
Episode Date: April 2, 2024Comedian Dave Merheje returns to talk press junkets, toilet topics, and The Orphan....
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hi, he's Dave Schumke.
And he's Graham Clark.
And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself.
Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 837 of Stop Podcasting Yourself.
My name is Graham Clark and I should note before I introduce my friend that I'm going
to be doing a 24 hour straight comedy show on April 12th at the brand new Little Mountain
Gallery down in Gastown.
And it's going to be fun.
It's going to be fun.
Dave's going to be one of the writers.
He said so so he promised. And when you say it's a 24 hour straight comedy show,
do you mean like no LGBTQ people?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I should have been more clear.
That's right, yes.
It's a bigot lounge is what we're opening up.
And is this to raise money for anything?
Oh, just the space, just taking care of the little space.
Oh, neat. Yeah.
It's Dave Schumke, hi Dave. Hi, and this is also our first week after the Max Fun Drive.
Thanks to everyone. Oh, yeah.
Who supported us.
Who supported us.
Thanks to Chris O'Donnell for being the guy
taking me around when I'm a blind vet.
Is that what that movie's about? Yeah, smelling, smelling women.
Smell of a chick.
Uh, and uh, yeah, thanks for everyone.
Um, we appreciate you. We can't do this without our beloved listeners and especially supporters.
Ha ha ha.
Cool!
Our guest today, returning guest on on a pause gas so much fun. He's in town. You're doing shows
I'm sure he'll be able to plug more show. He's doing he's an actor as well. It's Dave Mirhaj
Thank you guys for having thank you for being here. No, I am excited. I know that's good energy. You think yeah, no, I am excited
No, seriously
I'm super pumped. There you go to be here.
You well, let's get down
You are you are acting in like a film that's actually like a film that people are going and seeing
When saw it in theaters, yeah, I don't know how many but I mean, I know some people went but it in the theater. They did, yeah, they went and saw it in theaters. Yeah. I don't know how many, but I mean, I know some people went.
But it was in theater.
It was in theaters, yeah.
That's so cool.
And like different screenings at different times.
You are Madame Webb.
I was, I was, I, yeah, I thought,
I'm glad you can recognize me.
I didn't feel I wanted to wait to tell you.
Sure, yeah, yeah.
I am Madame Webb.
I am a spider.
Oh, yeah.
No, I do.
Now you did have a trailer up on your side.
He is, now I can tell,
because he's doing these creepy crawling around here.
I'm a spider with anxiety.
Yeah.
It's...
Um, well, tell me about the movie,
as I haven't had a chance to see it,
but what's it about?
Who do you play?
I play a character named Robert. Name the movie, don't ask him a movie.
Oh, we know Robert.
So sometimes I think about dying
that started off as a play years ago.
It was called Killers, and then it went from a play
to a short film that got into Sundance shorts,
and then was shortlisted from the Oscar.
I'd like to get into your shorts.
I mean, if you play your cards right, I have time. the Sundance shorts and then we'll shortlisted.
I mean, if you play your cards right.
I have 24 hours straight comedy show.
If you, if you are as charming as you have been,
that could happen, but, and then they turn it into a full length.
Right. And that's when they sent it to Daisy Ridley and the director was, Alex, the producer,
Rachel Lambert directed it and then yeah, Daisy signed on
and then it was filmed about two years ago, I would say.
So like it was filmed two years ago
and then there's just this huge lag
before it actually went to Sundance Film Festival.
It opened there on last January.
Oh cool. Did you go?
Yeah. Well, I was in it. Oh wow, last January. Oh cool. And you know, yeah
Wow last January and Daisy Ridley is in the last Jedi
So it's pretty good
I think that's how we open the Q&A
Well at that time it was this January
This time next year is gonna be last January, I'll get it right, yeah. This time next year is going to be last January, eh Daisy? What was it like going to film festivals?
I've only been to them as a regular citizen.
I haven't been to like, how to pass or anything like that.
Very nerve wracking, super fun.
Just like, to be able to do all the interviews that I would like to see actors do.
I'm like, yeah.
I was.
You got it on the red carpet?
I did. Nice.
I did, they had the carpet for like the premiere of it
and it was like, it was, I was awkward.
There's a lot of awkward moments because I'm like,
no, I wasn't used to it.
Yeah. It was my first time.
It was super surreal.
Yeah. It was like three days.
Did you like, you go in front of the wall of photographers
and like, wow. Yeah, yeah.
And then you do like a press junket for two days.
So you're doing the Hollywood reporter and all these, but I was so geeked.
You're just asking them questions.
I was like, so happy. I don't want it to end.
You know how, like, sometimes you'll you'll you'll go to an interview
and they'll have the books.
Those guys have like the picture, they'll have a picture of you.
And Graham?
Do you know how when you go to an interview
sometimes they'll have the books?
Me? No.
Personally, no, I don't understand.
But sometimes they'll look over there,
cause they're just waiting for like-
Oh, it's just like people rotating around, yeah.
Yeah, like the guy from Aquaman was there.
You know, just waiting for like them to come through,
but I'm not used to that doesn't happen
So you in a junket? Do you stay in one place and the reporters come in? No, you travel around. Oh, okay
Yeah, and I'm not used to the signing thing. I'm like, I'm not you don't think it's so then I
I was like, what do you want from me? Like I said, yeah
I was like more like hey, would you get that picture? Like I was like, I trust issues. And they got you signed on. So you just feel like you and
then then you fly out and then you go back to your normal life. Yeah, which sucks,
right? Yeah, your life sucks. What did you wear on the red carpet? I had a
drip down. I wasn't sure. I hired a stylist and it was like, it was, it was, it was, it was this like white with
almost like graffiti, like different colors on it and stuff.
It was ridiculous.
And now have you ever had a stylist before?
No, I think that was my first.
How do you get a style?
Yeah.
And what do they do?
They recommended somebody, a friend recommended, no, yeah, friend recommended a stylist and
then you go in and they, they, you talk to them on the phone and you tell them what vibe
you want.
And what did you say?
Did I, I said like, like not.
Misty morning.
I didn't, I said, I don't want like the, I guess the Gucci and that kind of stuff.
Right.
Or of like.
I, my, my vibe when I talk to my stylist, I can say, uh, mid nineties NBA draft.
Yo, I should have said that.
That would have been amazing.
Looking like John Stockton out there.
Yeah.
Or like, no, just like a really tall, like eight button suit.
Yeah, with the tiny little.
I should have done that.
Um, what, uh, so you, you talk to them and then you go and they
give you a bunch of options?
Yeah, no, you come in.
I was, I was in New York and that's where I saw her.
You go into their office and they'll just like, try a bunch of, she opened with like, I think this is what you, in, I was in New York and that's where I saw her. You go into their office and they'll just like try
a bunch of, she opened with like,
I think this is what I would go for.
And I think you feel like you would feel that too.
And I was like, yeah, I would go with that as the first one.
And you wear the clothes and then you bring them back.
You bring them back, but they let me keep the shoes.
I had two pairs of shoes they let me keep.
Oh, nice. Yeah. All right. Yeah. And the pants. I remember those pants I got to keep.
That don't fit anymore. Sure. There you were all dressed in white? Yeah. That's
so scary because of mustard and ketchup and there's all sorts of things around.
If I'm dressed in white and they let me keep the pants I have a feeling I
know why. I mean I spill stuff on me all the time.
So these two, if you're at a movie theater
and you're trying to value it's a popcorn
and a hot dog and the drink.
I have popcorn.
I was all, I was like, Oh yeah, of course.
If you see there's a picture of the Q and A,
there's popcorn bag behind me, like a box.
Hey, you've seen that picture.
It's in my book.
Do you mind signing it?
Look, I want you to know, I was not fully comfortable in any of those
because again, it was just very new.
Yeah.
But I was like, yeah,
there's like a real carrot charm
that these people have that nailed down.
It's like pretty sick.
They're like, they've done this.
They know what they're doing.
Yeah, I was out there just being like doing jokes
because I was nervous. Like I was distra, you know what I mean? I was involved. They probably love that. They know. Yeah, I was out there just being a, like doing jokes because I was nervous.
Like I was just, you know what I mean?
They probably love that.
They love it different
because it's probably just talking head stuff
after talking head.
They're like, preparing for the roles,
Madam Webb, it was, I ate a lot of spiders.
I ate a lot of bugs.
I mean, I ate a lot of flies.
I climbed a lot of fences, actually.
Like what?
Like what?
I did a lot of fans climbing in my time.
I'm friends with the pig.
Well, that's so cool, man.
Like I just can't even imagine what it'd be like to see, see your face on the big screen.
Is it like, are you like, oh, that's my face?
Are you like, oh my God, that's my face?
Or I, I, I, I know I was tripped out.
Yeah. Like I was like, and I had told told they I said it. Can I bring a guest? They're like, yeah, but I didn't have a
Walking with a mannequin down
So they were like who's sitting next to you I got I thought it was gonna be a friend
But I guess not and it was just five it was going to be a friend, but I guess not.
And it was just five.
It was like packed and just that empty seat.
Oh, shit. Nobody.
So, oh, wow.
Yeah. No one sat next to me.
You could put your coat there.
You know, I mean, I kept looking over.
I'm like, still nobody there.
Like, you know, you have those moments.
Yeah. Yeah.
My good another actor on in the movie would touch my shoulder sometimes to check in.
That's nice. Yeah.
Yeah.
And like, when did you shoot it?
Two years ago in September, October, in Astoria, Oregon.
Oh, okay.
An hour and a half outside of Portland.
Nice.
Now you, you're an actor, you studied acting?
Not at all.
Not a chance.
Did you?
I took a couple of classes. There was a monologue from
Glenn Gary, Glenn Ross.
Glenn Gary, Glenn Ross that you had up on YouTube somewhere.
Oh God, you found it.
No, no, no.
You sent us there.
We talked it, but it last time.
Yeah, oh, it was bad.
I remember I told you last time.
How your practices is?
I can't even look at it, man.
Dino sent it to me, Archie, very funny comedian.
I had showed them and we were dying laughing. Dino sent it to me, Archie, very funny comedian.
I had showed them and we were dying laughing.
They were obviously, they made fun of me.
Yeah, everybody said that.
Yeah, and then he would send it to me
and we would just die laughing.
And it was like this thing where it was so bad.
And I-
And he keeps sending it to you over and over?
No, for an hour he should, but it was the worst.
Yeah, the arrogance, like I I said on my part was just crazy to think that I could tackle but that character is arrogant
You know Alec Baldwin. Yeah, yeah, and I didn't play the
Like you never study just like we're in roles and have kind of studied up that way
I mean I took when I started filming Rami I jumped in a class before we started filming
In New York, it's called film club and I that's that first rule of the film club
Don't talk about film club and I broke that rule many times
You're bringing it right now right now, but that was and then I took that class again. Oh if they made fight club now
But that was and then I took that class again. Oh if they made fight club now
It would be like it now David this PC called No, I just mean like you're gonna these people are not gonna talk about their fight club online
It's gonna be that's gonna get out are gonna be an r slash fight club. Someone takes a picture
Yeah, yeah, we're totally all faces after their faces over
Selfies after their faces over
What cuz like I have no idea what I've been a dram in high school, that's it So what is it like to be in a room full of just actors? It's the best
It's yes seems like a beautiful a lot of people doing cartwheels
Yeah, a lot of drinking water
They're hydrated. You gotta stay hydrated. Absolutely can't act, you know
Drinking water right now. So we are actors. Let's not judge
Lot of tea. Yeah. Yeah. Okay protect your different beverages. Yeah practicing their vocal cords
Oh, yeah
I love seeing that when I I've been like in a
Theater where there's like a big theater and then like a studio, and we're sharing the same kind of background dressing rooms,
and they're going like, rrrrrrr the podcast, you're, you travel a lot.
I know that you're always doing shows.
Um, do you like the travel?
Is it rough?
I like traveling.
I like the hotels.
I like the, I love a good hotel.
Yeah, I do love hotels, but I think it's, if I do it for a month, it's tough.
Yeah.
As I, as I, as I get older probably.
And also like, how do you, you want carry on?
You get a bigger bag?
No, I'm an idiot man.
This is always a big one.
You always do a big one.
I'm trying to learn to do carry on now.
I've got it down to science personally, but.
Do a carry on?
Yeah, yeah.
Holy, like what?
A couple weeks ago, months ago,
he was going through security
and they had to open up his bag
and she opened up and said,
A plus packing job.
Are you serious?
Yeah.
What is the, what is the?
It was just like perfectly arranged
all the little bits and pieces.
Are you folding the items so small
that you can fit more things in there?
I'm rolling them.
I'm not folding, I'm rolling everything.
So everything's like a little different size
of like a square or. Even your pants? Yeah. I don't everything. So everything's like a little different size of like a square or even your pants.
Yeah. I don't I don't agree with this.
I mean, I'm taking his word for it, but I how many pants is he pregnant with?
He's I own one pair and an emergency pair.
So he's not. So you know, you you're full.
I'm a skeptic about Graham.
Well, but you're full big bag all the time.
No, I'm all small bag generally, unless I have to travel with the family.
Right. And then we'll pack up.
Well, we'll we'll do a we'll arrange things.
But my I do a roll on a roll on a roll on deodorant it's strong enough for a man
but it's pH and I do like you know how you win the rolling luggage it's got the
you pull out the handle and then there's two kind of slots that like cave in on
the yeah inside I feel like that really it does it eats into the space no but I and then there's two kind of slots that like cave in on the inside.
I feel like that really it does.
It eats into the space.
No, but I feel like it gives me a good structure of like, OK,
I'm putting this stuff, this stuff in there, this panel.
Yeah. So you if you OK for a small carry on,
how many does it matter of the days you're gone?
I guess so.
You've gone for seven days.
Is it still carry on? What's the threshold? Where is the is going to push? I guess. So if you're gone for seven days, is it still carry on?
What's the threshold?
Where's the, who's gonna push you?
I don't travel that much.
I really, but I guess if seven days in a hotel.
Yeah. Yeah, that's too much.
So you need a big bag.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'll, if I'm somewhere for a week, I'll do laundry.
I'll do laundry. Yeah.
I can't imagine seven days in a hotel.
That's not something I've done in my memory. Yeah
But when you were on tour with Leonard Skinner, you stayed at a couple hotels. No, those were
bunk houses. Oh shit
Cool
Bunk beds. Yeah bunk houses
I love bunk beds
Do you grow up with bunk bed? No, I just just, I know that's just, you know. Yeah. The house next door, uh, the old house next door,
before they tore it down, they, we were constantly
trying to figure out who lived there.
Cause there were doors in, it was like a hundred
year old house.
There were doors on different sides, people going
in one door, coming out the others, some people
going in one door coming out.
And then we finally, there were some nice tenants and they were like,
it's a rooming house, it's not an apartment.
So it's like, there's one guy, we also, they had the-
People are staying here for a week.
Yeah, yeah.
So it's a hostel.
I guess.
But one guy, there was one guy who had,
we called it the window fridge,
because in the winter he would like it, have stuff outside his window. Oh, to called it the window fridge, because in the winter he would like
have stuff outside his window.
Oh, to keep it cold.
To keep it cold, yeah.
Then he was permanent.
Some people were permanent
and that's why we couldn't keep track of it.
And there were bunks, like in there?
I don't know.
Well, how did that make you feel?
Good.
Really?
Yeah, good, horny.
But as the neighborhood, did the neighborhood like that?
Yeah, everyone was fine, I think. Really? Yeah. Shocked.
There's a what do you call it?
Like halfway house, just like up the street.
There's kind of a condo area is that there's a halfway,
a halfway like prison release.
Yeah, because one of the guys that was released, like, you know,
on is on the news, like, well, he didn't return to the spot or whatever released like that, you know is on the news like well
He didn't return to the spot or whatever was from that near us. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah
Yeah, we need a return to the spot. They still he's never returned. No, the cops were after him
Oh, did they find him found him? But like, you know when you see that on the news
We're like this person kind of on the run. I was like, I know I know where that guy's running from
You should be running back right now.
Yeah.
Did you ever see him in public walking around?
No, I just, I just knew, uh, cause they said with it, he walked away from
a facility on, uh, on campus.
Okay.
Yeah.
And, uh, yeah, I, I guess I've been in bunk beds before.
Sure.
Cub camp.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Of course.
Yeah. I'd like a raised bed in New York with a ladder
Oh, really? Yeah, like a loft. Yeah, nice. No
No, I mean it was in a small was like me and two other people live there
We all had the same beds style. Okay, and the guy that built is a friend of I mean he lived there
But he was like he was moving out to live with his girlfriend and he goes, uh, I was like, oh man, that's great.
He goes, yeah, I just can't, man.
I'm getting older.
And he's like in his late thirties, he goes, I'm getting older, man.
I just really, I can't really, you know, turn 40 and live like an, on top,
like a loft thing.
I'm four.
I mean, you built them.
You can't, it's fine for you, but he is a four year old.
And I was like turning 40 or I might've been 40.
I go, but I'm okay, man.
Yeah.
Rude.
You did this.
I like the idea because I think I've had friends in New York that have done the same where
they've built things inside their apartment.
I don't know any place anybody does that.
My Instagram gives me a lot of like tiny house.
Like ads?
Or like, yeah, just like people whose whole account is,
I built a tiny house and I live in it now.
Yeah, it's crazy some of those ones.
I see them in like Japan as well.
Yeah, and it's that a lot of like,
the bed is always up top.
Yeah, because that's what he did it for more room.
So the couch, like a mini couch is under the bed.
Oh, and then you can put your TV on.
That's how I had it set up.
So you had is your TV, how far from your face?
So close.
There's like it looked like I was in a bunker.
This is around Covid too.
So it looked scary.
I looked scary if you open the room and you saw me under the bed.
Yeah.
Like, yeah, I was like, I was eating so much at crumbs everywhere.
Now you went to Japan. Is that what you said?
No, never. I wish I saw videos.
You saw videos from Japan.
Little houses.
When you said they do it in Japan, I was just like, hey, maybe he's been to Japan.
No, I wish.
We all live on our phones.
One day.
I was watching Japan.
Yeah, what are you going to get some panties out of a vending machine?
Yeah, that's a big stop.
Sleep in one of those pod hotels, you know, seduce a salary man.
Yeah, what's a pod hotel?
Oh, it's like it's it's you're you sleep in a pod.
Basically, it's like instead you open up like it's like the morgue. Yeah, that's great
So ever the pods are in the lobby like or is it no they're not they're like free stand I get anything
They're like in areas, but I don't think they're connected to I am
Picturing them in it's a hotel but like I'm picturing literally like a morgue. Oh, yeah
No, that's like Emmett, but you go up and, but they're not like metal.
Yeah.
They're like cool, you know.
You just like, it's just for sleep.
Do they talk about the benefits?
Like when, wherever you saw this,
do they go, hey, what's the benefit to this?
There's dental and.
The benefits are anything bigger than that is too expensive.
Yeah.
And also you can get one if you're near it for like a couple of hours.
If you're like, I got.
Oh, that's so perfect.
Yeah.
Just hop in, have a snooze and then, and they do, they have like an
optional screen so you can watch whatever you want while you're in there.
Oh, this is sick.
I didn't like shared bathroom shared.
I guess you could pee in the pot.
Yeah.
Pee in the, two peas in the pot.
Pee in a cup in the pot.
That's my style.
You know how in hotels you go by
and like people have their room service out in the hall.
You've just got bottles of pee.
Yeah.
I need two more empty bottles sent to pod seven.
I need two more empty bottles set to pod seven
Have you because I know you travel a lot in the states have you gone overseas and Doug comedy or is it all been on the Continent I went to Dubai
Last year, I had to buy yeah, that's not in Newfoundland
I
Love Newfoundland Bye. Yeah, that's a new fiddle. I love New
Finland. Yeah, it's so sweet.
But yeah, I went to England when I was like
starting comedy. I went to Edinburgh and
yeah, yeah, but it wasn't it was like early on
in comedy.
How was Dubai?
Cry weird man.
Yeah, it's it's like everything is so new.
It's only been yeah, it's very and it's like
rich, rich, rich.
Right. So is it like walking around like, you know, like a brand new finished house when you walk around
Yeah, like the whole city just smells like fresh and new
The cabs are awesome over. Yeah. Yeah, everyone's respectful
Okay, but it's like you see like the word. I't know if the workers that working are taken care of fully. I've heard that they kind of are like scurried
Yeah, and that's the section of the that's the whack part of the whole thing. Yeah. Yeah
Yeah, somebody that went told me that it was like being in a version of like Disneyland
Yeah, like I just want to do. Like everything was clean and there was no,
nobody that wasn't just like quiet
and keep me to themselves and Mickey Mouse
is wandering around.
Yeah.
But it is cool, it was just cool to perform there
because we never, I've never been.
What, did you like, theater,
did they have a comedy club?
Yeah, no, it was the Dubai Comedy Festival.
So me and another comic, it's his show, Paul Alia, it's like a, it's called Lowkey Comedy, it's like it was the Dubai Comedy Festival. So me another comic. It's his show Paul Alia. It's like a it's called
Low-key comedy. It's like a riffing show. So he got it out there
He got a booked into the festival cool. We flew out together and stayed and and yeah
What's up? How many people speak English over there everyone everyone? Yeah. I mean, I don't want to say everyone but it was like
They don't speak English. They scurry them
I don't wanna say everyone, but it was like. If they don't speak English,
they scurry them on a roll.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But the crowd was into it.
Like we were, we didn't feel like a restriction
on language or anything like that.
Like I wouldn't talk about the government.
Yeah.
But I mean, other than that,
we were like pretty open to talk everything.
Yeah.
Sex stuff, you know, anything.
Really?
Yeah.
Cause I have a friend that was going over there
or is going over there in a couple of weeks
and she said, no religion stuff.
Yeah, I spoke to that friend.
I think we're talking about the same person.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
She had messaged me about it.
I don't know if she knew that I went
or she was like, this guy is Lebanese.
And it'll connect me to somebody.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's gotta have a distant cousin somewhere.
Yeah, yeah, is there a hotline I could call or?
Because in my head I'm like, I don't think she knows I went to Dubai.
She's just like, she might think I'm Dubai-ing.
Yeah.
But yeah, you don't want to talk, like you just want to disrespect the religion of the
government.
Right. I think, yeah. But I mean, I didn't do that.
I just spoke about like, you know, my normal joke.
I've got about 15 minutes on the Dubai government.
Is that gonna be bad?
Anyway, does anybody here work for the Dubai government?
Yes.
What about President Jeff?
President Kyle? Yeah, President Jeff. President Kyle.
Yeah, President Kyle.
Yeah.
Um, yeah, the, uh, um, what was I going to say?
I don't know.
I don't remember.
You know what I want to, when I, we flew back, I went and sat on my, and Paul was
next to me and then we sit down and he, I was like, Oh my God, he goes, what's
wrong? I go, dude, my seat is wet.
Yeah. He's like, did you spill spill anything I go. I don't spill anything
I'm like there's like my like the drink was in front of me, so he's like get the flight attendant. This is crazy
I go yeah, and I go hey I
Seat sweat she was oh my god. She's like let's I go on I think we could just put like you got paper
I'll put paper on it. She'll just get you a new seat. I was like, you could do that?
I was just thinking about that.
I flip the cushion and I'm like, oh, we're so sorry. I'm so sorry that this happened.
Is there anything-
Was it Emirates?
Yeah. So I was like, is she's like, is there anything we could do? I go, uh,
Can I, can I get, what is it can I get what the pilot eats?
What was like what I go, I don't know I just thought it was gourmet
He's eating a roast beef sandwich, I don't know if you're interested in that well, you know eats his vitamins
says his prayers,
a big bowl of Wheaties. He's on the bike.
I do like that though, I like the specificity of like,
I'll have what he's having.
I was just thinking about-
The seats?
The seats, because I was just thinking,
I've been having trouble sleeping.
And so, weird thoughts entered my mind,
and I was like, hey, if a plane crashes,
they always say your seat can be used as a flotation device.
But how?
Like, I don't know.
I have to just yank on it.
Right.
Because I don't think the seat like Emirates is like, even if you're in coach,
it's a, it's a good flight.
Yeah.
Do you know what I mean?
Like I advertise it as like a luxury.
Yeah.
The first class is crazy.
I remember a friend has snuck his way up there, but he was like, it's wild up there.
But like upstairs. Yeah. Shit.
And they have a rope.
Every bouncer.
Otherwise, everybody would be accidentally wandering up there.
But it's so it's so obvious that you're there.
Like, do you mean with the rope? Yeah.
You know, I mean, the curtain, I feel a rope is just more detrimental
to your soul than a curtain. Yeah. You know what I mean? The curtain, I feel a rope is just more detrimental to your soul than a curtain.
Yeah. Yeah. You know, so it's just yeah, but it was, I don't know how you'd be able to float with that. The seat was like,
Oh, I mean it's already wet for one thing. Yeah, so you'd be doing it. Did we ever sort out how it got wet?
No. Someone's lying. Someone's lying. Yeah, I'm telling you I didn't lie and I was like, it was like so weird.
They must have, I don't, and she didn't know. She was like it was like so weird they must have I don't and she didn't know she's like
Oh my god, so it was just the two of you there. Was there a third party? It was I was the I it was in the middle
Right, so there's a two on this on the sides and there was someone next to Paul
There was no one next to me because then it was just it was like the aisle
So I don't know what could have unless Paul dumped shit on there before I got there
But I don't like Paul and Paul check with him again. Yeah Paul, I'll check with him again. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hey, remember when there was,
when Wetsie was like,
did you do that?
Because we had traveled to the Middle East
three times by that time already together.
Oh, okay.
We went to a wedding in Egypt,
then we went to Lebanon.
So we've been traveling so much together
that I had so much trust in him.
Yeah.
This guy's not gonna pour water on my seat.
Yeah. I don't even have to ask, I know he had.
He's my boy.
He's my travel buddy.
He's my Middle Eastern travel buddy.
Yeah, what was an Egypt wedding like?
This wedding specifically was one of the best weddings
I've ever been to in my life.
I remember telling another friend,
we're all friends, I go, if you guys are getting married,
you gotta wait four years cause I can't,
we have to get over.
This was like going to like a music festival almost.
Well, it was really, it just was so sweet and beautiful.
Um, I've never been to like Egypt.
So that was like, I mean, there was a, just being in Cairo too, like it was
wild, like no pyramids.
Yeah.
I'm, I'm, yeah, I'm picturing wild like no pyramids. Yeah, I'm I'm oh you saw the first
Yeah, nice. I'm picturing the the pyramids are the
like wedding ring
Do the pyramids when they were like the Egyptians built it I was like
That's it's great. Like it's like crazy when you're there. You're seeing the whole thing. We went in it. Yeah, it's terrifying
Yeah, just like, just dark.
Yeah.
Wow.
And there's like somebody up there when you get to the top.
Well, I think it was selling stuff.
We got a picture of you finding your way around in the dark.
If you want to take pictures, like it was always a hustle.
You climb up and just trying to like rinse money out of you.
Yeah.
Yeah. You've got, uh, we're not gonna let you turn around until you get one of these rinse money out of you. Yeah, yeah.
It's a crazy thing.
We're not going to let you turn around until you get one of these pyramid t-shirts.
Yeah.
Are there any pharaohs still in there?
I met a couple.
One is also a real estate agent.
Oh yeah.
Classic.
Did you see any mummies?
A mummy, a recovering drug addict mummy.
Oh, okay.
Oh, shit. It was wild. It. It was well drying out in the desert
Yeah, what I want to know what this wedding was like I want what was like was it in a huge place
Was it well, there's the food amazing the food? Yeah, it was it was and also
Because we were there like longer too. So we got time to like look around and stuff
There was like the the driving is wild.
Oh yeah.
If you know how to drive there, you just seeing cars fly in.
Like it didn't look like there was lines.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm saying like there was, and then somebody on a scooter would show up on the
side, like it's, I don't even think they signal.
I I've been to Vietnam and they, uh, there's scooters everywhere and they,
they honk constantly. It's like honking is just like, instead of signaling, it's just honk. Hey, I's scooters everywhere and they honk constantly.
It's like honking is just like,
instead of signaling, it's just honk.
Hey, I'm here, honk, honk, honk, honk.
So you're just hearing that and it's like,
and they have a system.
Like they're all in on it.
Like they know how to get around.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But then you go to like LA or New York
and the driver is just like, crashing.
Just like.
Yeah, if everybody, yeah, if there was one law
that everybody understood that this is,
this is what we have to all drive like this.
In the entire world?
No, just anywhere that has streets.
Oh, country, you don't need them.
I mean, there's very rarely backup on the country roads.
I've never been on one, so.
You've never been on a country road?
Oh, really?
You're from Alberta. I mean, I guess I've been on a country road. Oh really you're from Alberta
Yeah, I mean, I guess I've been on a country road. Is that just a dusty road. It's just yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's like and you don't see people for a while takes you home. Yeah. Yeah, yeah
No, then I have I have maybe even as close as average for us if I have and I'm from Windsor
I've seen multiple. Yeah, okay. Wow. Yeah, but you're you're a big traveler. I'm a traveler
Yeah, traveler and a car country singer. Oh, yeah
At least forget that I should have said that in your credit
No one respects my country music career. I've tried. I've got an album and a half out. Yeah
Why do I was so weird that you released that half album? I
Was going through with the wife, third wife.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I agree that you only got an album and a half out of the first two wives.
I guess the three wives.
What's your country music basically is mostly relationship-y stuff.
No, it was about a lot of it.
The first one was about hay and my, my allergies to the hay.
Yeah.
The first one was about hay and my allergies to the hay. Yeah.
And I was judged coming up as a country person singer for my allergicness to hay.
Yeah, it's tough.
Yeah.
It's they don't respect me as a man.
And I was just trying to like be more sensitive.
I wanted country people to be more sensitive singers in touch with their,
with their emotions.
And you can't, you can't just chew on a piece of hay like
Like a farmer would do yeah, I was against guns too. Oh
You didn't belong there at all. What were you doing out in the country? You should have been downtown Nashville Yeah, I had a song no gun under the Sun
Yeah, I remember it went a little something like
Yeah, I remember yeah. It went a little something like, you remember?
Yeah, I remember, yeah.
No gun in the sun, right?
I knew it was that.
Yeah, no, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yee-haw, yee-haw.
And also hey.
And also like, hey.
Or I don't like that.
I don't like that, I can't have it.
That, boy, do you guys watch that Kevin Costner show?
Yellowstone yeah, no no no
It's a no there was do you see a clip on it? No not even no
I just know that it exists and that I went to Halloween store and they had an official
Yellowstone costume so it's that big.
Oh, it's got like, it's keeping Paramount.
Paramount Plus is the streaming service
that is like built on it.
It's like, it's got two or three spin-offs as well.
Oh.
It's the reason Kevin Costner's divorce
is always in the news.
Yeah.
Oh yeah, I read about that too.
Cause he owes money.
I mean, who doesn't?
Yeah. I mean, yeah, I told about that too. Is he owes money? I mean who doesn't
Yeah, I told you three and a half wives. Yeah wives now I thought it was one and a half albums with three wives
Just kind of a work wife kind of situation no, I thought we were married but in her head she's like I don't feel married Oh, I don't want you telling we're married. So the, yeah, the emotions get sick up.
Yeah, I had a half wife.
Well, we had the same dad, but different moms.
Controversial at the time.
Controversial at the time.
But, it's had to, cowboy with hay in his mouth.
Yeah.
One stalk of hay.
Yeah.
That's like the country equivalent of tough guy
with a tooth picker.
Yes, yeah.
Yeah, you see.
But I feel like somebody, a cowboy,
would be leaning back with that.
Like I've never seen something like that.
A tough guy's prone.
Yeah, I feel like, yeah, tough guy's ready to stab you.
No, tough guy's relaxed.
That's true, I guess.
Yeah, against a jukebox or something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. like ready to know if it's relaxed that's true I guess yeah against the
jukebox or something yeah I couldn't really get with horses yeah hard time
there's area yeah so that was that caused a lot of friction in the country
community yeah that's why I was my albums weren't selling that well is that
the same thing with Beyonce they won't play her song because she hates horses I
did not know that well who doesn't play her song because she hates horses. I did not know that Well, who doesn't play her song the country? Oh country country song. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, and they won't play it and it's
Her relationship with horses. She can't ride one. She won't ride one even though she's on one and one of her album covers
It's you know, she's from Texas. You're from Texas. She should know that source country
I've deal with the same thing right here with the one and a half album.
Yeah, what was the half album?
I'm really curious about this.
Does it have a whole album cover
or is it just half a cover?
It's like fading.
Oh, okay, oh, so it's like back to the future.
Yeah, it's like it's not there yet.
So I was walking by a store that said
they do photo restoration.
Oh yeah. And they do photo restoration. Oh, yeah.
Uh, and they had like examples of like, this is what the picture was like before.
Here's what it is now.
But the pictures have been in their front window for so long that they're all faded.
We do a very poor job.
So they're all like, this was damaged and we fixed it and now it's damaged again.
Yeah, there was a convenience store that I will walk past every day and it had a faded poster of a movie with John Krasinski in it called the way we go.
I think it was a way. Oh, after the office.
Huh?
They have a beard. Yeah, after the office. Yeah, it was him and my that rings a beard. Yeah. After the office, yeah. It was him and Maya. That rings a bell.
Yeah.
Anyway.
What are your favorite faded posters?
I'll go first.
Like for heroes.
Oh yeah.
It was like the Parthenon in the background.
Yeah.
Oh.
In like a Greek restaurant.
You've actually seen that one.
Oh yeah, man.
Yeah. Okay.
There's also at one euro shop
that has a very specific poster of a woman eating.
And she's kind of dressed like a kind of a Hooters-esque
kind of outfit.
Oh, I guess I don't know.
And no, she's like, her hair is done up huge
and she's got like the glossiest.
And she looks like she wouldn't be just about to eat one
or would be around once she's gone out, you know?
But I've seen that picture more than one.
I do love when I just have a poster fades
and you just, it hasn't occurred to the shop owner
that I get a new one.
You see that I think I see my, any Steven Seagal,
Rock Rambo, like Sylvester Stallone, Sean Clavin,
those kind of ones I see faded. Yeah.
And just insert any.
In weird stores that still rent movies.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And there's, yeah, the, what was I gonna say?
I forget it.
I saw one too is when I was in Lebanon,
we went to my mom's village where she grew up
and we ran into like my grandmother's cousin
and he brought us back to his place
and he was like showing us stuff
but he goes, he showed us DVD.
He goes Rambo.
He's like old Middle Eastern men love Rambo.
They do, oh wow.
Rambo and he was like, I think it was faded maybe
but it was like a DVD.
Did he want you to sit down and watch Rambo?
Talk about, yeah.
Talk about it.
You wanna watch it?
No, I just wanna talk about it.
Who's your favorite character, is it Rambo?
He goes, you know Rambo?
I go, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I live in Los Angeles, don't I?
Of course I know Rambo.
We're about an hour away from Hope, British Columbia,
where they shot Rambo.
Yeah, I'm down.
And they celebrate it, they have a festival every year.
They do?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They got a big couple statues.
Got a couple statues, got one of those with the face cut out that you put it in and it looks like a random serious
They did they shot one Rambo there and original. Yeah, and they had to the the bridge from that movie
It was like torn down a couple years ago. It was a big story. Yeah, that's right
Yeah, and it's like hopes got two things
It's that and then they have an amazing diner that sells like every type of pie you can imagine really Yeah, so it's like, hope's got two things. It's that, and then they have an amazing diner that sells like every type of pie you can imagine.
Really? Yeah.
So it's like worth the drive.
It's worth the drive.
If you ever find yourself driving by,
just stop in, get some pie, check out the staff here.
If you're ever headed to the interior of British Columbia,
it's like the last stop before you hit the highway
that has like, next bathroom, two hours.
Oh my God.
No. No, yeah
Yeah, it's the towns relief. I think and it's not even the Rambo that like everybody knows like the you know
Vaney with the machine gun kind of a gritty the first one. He's dressed as the gritty
Yeah, like the original the first first one. Yeah, that's the one I liked when he that's the one I cried
I remember I was a kid and he wouldn't come out of the
The house or whatever his sergeant went in to get him. He's like, you gotta come out of you
Oh go and I just
My mom was like what's wrong I go Rambo I mean it didn't mean I don't know why I was crying
But he was so sad. Yeah, that's the one I can't remember the other ones
Well, the other ones were more like I don't know if there's
I'm sure someone's done like a kill count, but like I think the first one he kills like
Yeah a handful of people and then the next ones he just it's like yeah five hundred people John Wick
Yeah, John, we've put John wick. Yeah, it's the same with
the was the Charles Bronson ones
Death with death with okay. Yeah, the first one the Charles Bronson ones. Death Wish.
Death Wish, yeah.
The first one.
The first, maybe one or two.
He maybe shoots a guy.
Yeah.
Was there seven of them?
I don't know, but I feel like they were influenced by Rambo.
Like there was like a, what would you call that?
Like an arms war.
Oh yes.
An arms race.
And like it was Bronson, right?
Was it Pierce?
And he was, was that?
Was Pierce Bronson or no?
It was not Pierce Bronson.
Charles Bronson. Charles Bronson.
Shit, shit.
It's all right.
And Dave?
Pierce Brosnan.
Pierce Bros, Brosnan.
Dave?
Say it, say it. Bra? Bra? Z. Z. Z. Brosnan Pierce brah brah Dave, Dave, say brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah old in the first one. And so how old are we talking? He was probably like 60s. Yeah.
Late. And he did like seven of them. Yeah. And the first one he's already old. And he was fighting people.
Yeah. And he was fighting people and shooting them with a handgun. And was that his most prominent role?
Sorry for my- Yeah. Oh, well. He was in country or west country western. Country western music.
He was in, was he in The Great Escape? Think so.
Was he in The Dirty Dozen or The Magnificent Seven or?
So yeah, wait, was this his role?
This was like the one.
His like 80s role, yeah.
Well, at 62, fighting crime.
Yeah.
And like.
I feel like a lot of those movies, like a lot of,
I mean, I guess it still happens now,
but like they would keep an actor actor around for awhile and have them.
No, I think it happens less now.
No, like back then you had guys that like they had like lose lost their
hair and they were still heroes.
Yeah.
Bruce Willis.
You know what I mean?
Now it's like, everyone has their hair.
I don't want to go back to that.
He's just like a middle-aged guy.
Fighting a plane. I, but I'm thinking of like, yeah, like, you know,
they'll bring in some like Michael Douglas
and put him in the Ant-Man movies.
And who knows what he's doing there.
Like now it's the Rock Batista,
they like they're muscular back there.
Yeah.
Bruce Willis in a tank top just struggling.
Just like a regular body.
They always go in the ceiling and the ceiling and in the rain.
Oh yeah, through the vent.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They always do that.
Not always, but I'm on, I want to see their struggle.
Bruce Willis definitely does.
Through a vent.
When I'm in a place that like it's got a, you know, really raised ceiling and they have the
bigger vents, I, I wonder how much they have.
There's no way that they have the bigger vents.
Not the bigger, the, the human could fit. No. Well, why do you need a vent that they have the bigger vents. Not the bigger, the human could fit in.
No.
Why do you need a vent that big?
You don't.
Yeah, so okay, someone's lying.
I know there's like a difference between like,
it's, I've heard of that, like if a house,
if you want to get like an air conditioner for your house,
if you're not, if it's not set up right with the right vents,
you can't do it.
Oh, okay.
But I don't know if those are the bigger ones. Yeah, maybe I don't be cold in there the very least
Oh boy, what it come out of a vent and drop to the ground? Oh, yeah, very cool. Very cool
What's the best entrance you've ever made?
I've never made something that's spectacular. What is the best that I've ever made? I'm not sure I
Can think of a great exit I once made.
Okay, go on.
I was at my friend's music show,
and the band played,
and then there was just DJ music,
and I had had a few drinks too many,
and maybe one drink too many because I was
sound enough of mind to realize that,
oh, a circle has formed around me and I'm
dancing and everyone was loving it, and then it naturally ended. I found enough of mine to realize that, oh, a circle has formed around me and I'm dancing.
And everyone was loving it.
And then, like, it naturally ended.
I grabbed Abby and we left.
Got in a cab.
It's a perfect high note.
Yeah.
Oh, that's great.
Yeah, that is good.
It's good when you know, like, this is peaked.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm gonna get out of here.
Ah, yeah, I can't think.
Do you ever done a grand opening? This one's not a good entry. It was, I was gonna get out of here. Ah Yeah, I can't think do you ever done?
Good and it was I was we had like a Christmas party and I was telling everyone at the party
It was like a small it was our apartment, but it wasn't that big and it was like yo, Santa's coming and they're like
Okay
For like an hour who said okay
Everyone was like, okay, Santa's come where their grownupsups or kids? All grownups. Santa Claus is coming.
I heard, I heard.
I had bought a Santa Claus costume.
I heard Santa Claus.
I was like, Santa Claus is coming.
I've been checking NORAD.
I kept doing it for like maybe an hour.
And then I was, Pat Berger, very funny comic was there.
And he, I was like, I'm gonna, can you help me set it up?
And I'm gonna go to the room, put the costume on,
and I'm gonna come out, want these people to be jacked.
And that's what I did, I went, I was like,
guys, I'm gonna go get some milk or whatever it was.
Oh nice, yeah, okay, we gotta get some cookies for this guy.
And they went to the room and then came out,
and then he announced, he goes, hey, Santa's here.
And I came out and yeah, thunderous.
I don't know how the applause were,
but it was an entrance, I felt it was a great entrance. I don't know how the applause were but I was an inch
I felt it was a great entrance. That's a great and two person coordinated entrance
Yeah, yeah, I made that's people if they wanted to sit on my lap and tell me what gifts they wanted
You know, so my boy sat on my lap
And what did he want not really good gifts I feel like
Rambo if you got one faded only though couple of pints for sure
Yeah, couple finds are good. It's hard to shop for growing up
It is yeah, it is I always do
tickets to something more or you know something like that because I don't know what size anybody is or if they want this
Type of watch or whatever if they're dating someone I always ask the partner. So you know, what are they feeling? Oh, that's smart
Then they helped me get a gift. That's good. No, you brought a bag here. What'd you get? This is a gift bag
Yeah gift bag from the talk that I was at. Oh, you're at a talk earlier. Yeah, I think there's yeah
I don't know. I never looked yet. That looks like a shirt of some sort
There's this oh
Like I'm kind of chutney doesn't have a label on it
Round goo yeah
Maybe candles it looks like there's candles in there. Oh, I'm a candle guy. Yeah. Yeah, I love candle
What are your top five candles of 2024?
I'm not I can't do the names but like eucalyptus. Yeah. Yeah, that's a good one. Yeah mint
And it is like balance, you know ones they have a smell just as earth stress
Yeah, oh, yes calmness smell. Well, there's a smell but I mean it's not in the like with eucalyptus or strawberry
I mean, yeah, no, but if it says if it says
It's not in the like with eucalyptus or strawberry. I mean, yeah I know but if it says if it is
Anxiety reliever it doesn't say that but do you know I mean when you go like when you go home
Do you light a bunch of them turn off the lights and just like chill out?
I because I mean candles are awesome
But I don't ever I do it when I watch TV at night get a box of pizza like the candle up nice
Put on some shorts. Yeah growing up
We my parents had a lot of candles and we none of them were scented like
As I was asking well because a minute ago. I was like no scent
Yeah, I get him at Target nice get him in a big big numbers or no just one at a time
That's high sure over the Yankee handle Yankee candle kid. Oh that was a time. Oh, fair enough. That's how it's dropping. Remember that Yankee handle, Yankee candle kid?
Oh, that was so happy.
Oh no, he collected them.
Yeah, he would show off his haul.
Like, I just got back from Yankee candle
and I got this edition of the, like the,
whatever pomegranate candle.
I bought one.
This 10 year old boy.
I bought one at a flea market and I lit it.
They're expensive.
This was like, you know, homemade,
this one I made them and it had a scent on it,
whatever it was.
And I bought one and then I brought it home
and I lit it and it stunk.
Like it didn't smell like the thing at all.
It's just like, it just felt like something like
was off and you know, like you're in noxious fumes.
And yeah, I'd been bamboozled because you know,
I couldn't go back to the flea market.
Did you sniff it before you burned it?
Yeah. Oh, weird.
And it smelled like kind of like,
like cedar or something like that,
like a wood kind of smell.
And then when you lit it, it was just like,
that broke your trust head for sure.
I'm never going back to her.
Yeah, you can't man.
That's awful.
Yeah.
I don't know if I'll love a kind of all any rigging,
but you know, I'll try. What's awful. Yeah. I don't know if I love a kind of all any reggae
I'll try
What's going on with you Dave nothing nothing at all. Yeah, here's what's up. Okay, Graham and I recorded an episode 20 hours ago. Yeah
Yeah, something has to happen in that 20 hours. I mean, yeah something happened. We had a big windstorm this afternoon.
Okay.
That's something.
And here's, here's a question.
Wind chimes.
Ooh, that is a good question.
Pro or con.
Yeah.
Cause my neighbors wind chimes were going nuts and I was like, Oh, it must be windy.
What, what is the purpose of wind chimes?
If not to tell you it's windy.
It's true.
Or somebody's walking through a door,
a convenience store door.
Yeah, that's fine.
Got a little one.
But I like them.
Yeah.
No, cause they always remind me
of something scary about to happen.
Oh yeah.
That's true.
As in the movies, it's always like a wind chime
goes off and an alien shows up or an axe murder.
Yeah, or a little kid doing a creepy nursery rhyme. Yeah.
There was in the movie Twister, Helen Hunt.
Are you excited for Twisters?
Oh, God.
I hope Helen Hunt makes an appearance
because otherwise I would be so pissed.
Her mother had like a ton of wind chimes in the yard
and they all made different noises.
It's a great scene because you knew the wind.
And you know what I like about not having wind chimes
around is the silence.
That's what I'm, that's good.
I think, yeah, I think wind chimes,
if you're out in the country or, you know,
just kind of like on some sort of country road.
Listening to my album.
Yeah. Or at least half of it.
Half of it.
But yeah, I think I see it as a porch in the country.
Yeah, but then it's like, they're fine, the sound is fine,
but it needs to stop at a certain point.
Yeah, yeah.
Like, well, you have to go and take them down
if it's going crazy out there, right?
Well, no one's putting it down
You ever see that?
You ever seen that thing that's like a weather stick
Like a rain thing when you turn it upside down. No, I just this just occurred to me is like a thing to hang on your porch
it's like if it's like a stick and it has a but it's something you get at a flea market and
or like a farmers market and it's got like a stick and it has a, it's something you get at a flea market and or like a farmer's market.
And it's got like a paper description on it.
It's like, well, if I'm wet, it's raining.
If I'm white, it's snowing.
If I'm missing, you've been ripped off.
I love an old man joke like that.
Well, that's first topic, wind chimes. I love an old man joke like that.
That's first topic, wind chimes.
We've decided you don't like them, Dave.
I only like them out in the country.
And I don't like them either.
You want them to stop at us.
I want, I can take them in small doses.
Next topic.
Here we go.
Have you seen these commercials for Charmin?
No, I don't think I've seen a Charmin commercial.
Oh really?
Yeah, if not, my algorithm does not show me.
Because the new thing with Charmin,
maybe I can pull this up, is the edges of them.
Oh.
Because you pull-
And for edging, these are?
The edges.
Describe what that is, Chris.
It's, do you not know that word?
No, edging? Yeah. Like, I's you know, another word no edging. Yeah
Like I know edges. Yeah, no not edges. It's a it's a delaying your orgasm. It's a new word for not jizzing Yeah
Yeah, it's like you're supposed to just kind of keep it on the edge and just go for hours
I guess wish I could do that. Yeah. Oh my god. Yeah before the edge even shows up
I've already fallen right off of it.
So there's this new product on, of Charmin.
I think is this it?
The smooth tear?
Okay.
And it tears in like a wobbly way instead of a straight line.
Huh.
What to do what?
I don't know.
Has anyone had been having a problem with the way you pulled toilet paper off. No
Yeah, yeah, okay. Okay. Yeah, I just dawned on me so he sometimes don't get a full good rip
Mmm, do you think this will fix it?
I hope because then you get the little hangy thing and if you have anxiety you're like I got a real
Yeah, the one off no you set the balance right take the hang you fit off. I
Mean in a fit of rage, I never thought clearly.
Yeah, that's true.
You're right, you are right.
So it's weird how anxiety and rage are sisters.
Yeah.
But I like this.
Yeah, you like this?
Yeah, I think I'm sold.
I wonder if it'll catch on with the other brands
or if this is a patent technology.
This is a you know patent
Christmas Never changed in our entire lives and then Jerry's like yeah, yeah
Ented colored yeah in the 80s a lot of people had pink toilet paper
Yeah, I used to have but I kept getting yeast infections
Yeah, that feels like that's not around anymore color. No color or scented. Santed patterns for sure.
They still got patterns.
Yeah, like a Christmas pattern.
Oh yeah.
Yeah, super thin where you could see through it,
cheapo toilet paper.
That would be a great thing.
You know how when you have kids,
Santa comes at night and they leave out the milk
and cookies and you have to take a bite.
Leave a little left on the plate
and make it look like you drank the milk
but you just poured it back in. to take a bite, leave a little left on the plate and make it look like you drank the milk
but you just poured it back in the...
And then you should have like,
oh, Santa left some toilet,
some Christmas toilet paper in the toilet.
In the toilet?
Yeah.
Santa didn't flush.
Well, no, it's the toilet paper
that you had left out for Santa to use.
Oh, right.
So you have to like make it clear
that you drank the milk or he drank the milk,
he ate the cookies and he used the facilities.
Okay.
Yeah, I'm for it.
Yeah, I'm sold on that too.
He humanizes Santa.
Yeah, you could also maybe like put a big dent
in your couch, make it look like Santa watched
a Christmas vacation while he was here.
Yeah, I guess there's, I mean, there's room to improve everything.
So, you know.
I don't think so.
I think toilet paper is perfect.
You think it's perfect the way it is.
I mean.
Have you ever, I've bought like a jumbo roll that doesn't fit on the.
Yeah, that's rough.
The dispenser.
I hate that.
Yeah.
Yeah, that ruins my whole vibe.
Yeah.
And three ply, I find when they came out with three ply,
I was like, well, I'll try this, but it was too much.
It was like the pipes couldn't take it.
Right, yeah.
I wanna know who, wherever they are,
are flushing paper towels down the toilet.
I've never once had the idea or why, why would you do you?
Yeah.
Okay, how come?
I was told.
You told you could?
Yeah, I think I was told maybe.
I think one time I put it in the garbage
and somebody was like, what did you just do then?
They came out and they're like,
hey, did you put toilet paper in the thing?
And I go.
Oh, well no, paper towels though. Yeah, that's paper towels they're like, Hey, did you put toilet paper in the thing? And I go, Oh, well, no paper towels though.
Oh, so that's paper towels.
Yeah.
You threw toilet paper in a garbage can?
Yeah.
Interesting.
I mean, I've been to in Columbia,
the hotels that do not flush your toilet paper.
Yeah, cause I was afraid that it was clogged
or might've clogged it already.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right? Yeah.
Some of the toilets like pipes you said can't handle.
Three ply, but yeah, no paper towels down there.
Is three ply as high as it goes?
I think so.
Yeah, I never seen four ply.
Can you imagine?
I do find that, and this is great conversation,
that when the- Especially if you're eating.
When the pandemic hit, toilet paper changed.
There was like a run on toilet paper, so to speak.
There was people, yeah, bought up all the toilet paper.
And I felt like all the toilet paper I've bought
since the pandemic has been dustier.
Like it'll leave like around my toilet,
it'll be like little just bits of like a snow globe.
There's like a white layer of, of little bits of toilet
paper that have come off the right.
Let me ask you this though.
If you're an out in public somewhere, do you, do you TP the toilet?
No.
Oh, do you like a little, a little do you all the time?
Yeah.
Public bathrooms.
Yeah.
Cause the.
The.
Create a barrier.
Yeah. Create a zone.
The logic that was explained to me was like,
if there's germs on the toilet seat,
you just sit on them.
You're not going to touch your butt.
But if you're putting your hands around the toilet seat
to put paper on it,
you're getting germs on your hands.
Oh.
Interesting. What if I wash my hands right after to put paper on it. You're getting germs on your hands.
Interesting. What if I wash my hands right after
and then go to business?
I mean, it's up to you.
No, this is interesting.
Yeah, because everybody,
I've talked about it one, I think,
about my Fred Kruegler from my junior high days.
Who's Fred Kruegler? Fred Fred Krueger was somebody in my class.
And of course his, everybody made fun of him for being Freddy Krueger.
Yeah.
It sounds like, uh, did he look like him?
No, he was a round, jolly kind of guy.
It sounds like, uh, the discount store, Freddy Krueger mask.
You get it.
Halloween.
Wait, his name wasn't Krueger?
No, it was Klugler.
It was Krugler.
Yeah, that's right Krueger runs
But his thing is that no matter
Like he wouldn't go in public toilets, and if you went in any toilet, he would take a shower after so even at a friend's house
He would act like like like in your oh, he would never do a public toilet never no no
Cuz there's no shower shower shower, but but not like so he would never go a public never no no cuz there's no shower shower
But but not like so he would never go anywhere that didn't also have a shower. Yes
Yeah, that was kind of his policy, but it was when we found that out. We were blown away I mean I respect like small small reason you know wonder that you came back 25 minutes later, but I
Respect it. I yeah, I was this like I don't think I ever
but I respect it. I, yeah, I was this like, I don't think I ever use a toilet
outside of my house.
I never did the high school toilet.
Really?
So you have good, like, you can hold on to things.
Yeah.
You're edging. Well, one thing.
Yeah.
I rarely have an emergency.
Oh, here's another topic.
Here we go.
They should have stopped.
So on this show, I will talk about how,
I've talked about how I have kind of an iron stomach,
but mostly I just like, I don't believe when people are like,
oh, a cup of coffee, oh, you know what that means?
Right.
Oh, Taco Bell, oh, you know what that means? Taco bell, you know what that means?
I'm not like reactive, like society seems to portray
people are to food.
Like, you know, you drink a cup of coffee
and then it's an emergency, that kind of thing.
Asparagus.
Yeah.
You make your peace bell?
I don't know, but I love asparagus now. I love asparagus now. Yeah, I can test it out. Yeah. Yeah, that's about okay
Well, we'll make a pact. We'll come back next year. Well, it's a
Love we have asparagus. Yeah, if we haven't lost our virginity in one year, then we what all have sex with each other
Well, we're making a back turn
Well, we're making a back turn I'll be edging.
But you're not familiar with this that you eat asparagus?
Yeah, I knew that, but I never smelt it.
I yeah, never after.
Oh, well, I'll be self-aware now.
Okay. Yeah.
What if I miss mix asparagus with eggs and like if a while I'm eating, like, will that still or do I have to eat asparagus just purely by itself?
No, no.
And go smell my pee?
No, often I'll have asparagus as part of a meal
and then I'll be like, like three hours later
when I go to the bathroom, I'm like, oh yeah,
I had an asparagus.
Yeah, that's fine.
Oh wow, that's not a bad thing.
Oh no, it's fine.
But one other thing I've heard is that if you eat beets,
it turns your pee red and people like forget
that they ate beets and they freak out. Yeah, I've had it
where I might when I do a number two and the red gets on there, but I've also had it where the
P might no no that wasn't it because I never I've never I'm
Like I'm falling in love with beats and I'm are you making a borscht? I'm no, I'm making like a beet salad.
Okay.
Ooh.
Is it alarm, but you already know you ate the beets.
But no, no, but what I'm saying is I have had no.
No.
No, I haven't seen it in the toilet.
But like.
Guys, I'm sorry that these are my topics.
No, this is really like, we're going to the nitty gritty.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And the shitty.
And the shitty. This is really like we're going to the nitty gritty. Yeah
Yeah, I could get into some beats now you mentioned beats I kind of want to eat well You know what I found I like there's a if I see beats on a salad with like cheese
I'm there, you know on a menu. I'll be like, yeah, I want this. This is one thing I want. Yeah
Oh and nuts maybe and then I saw some in the store and I've always been like well
I don't want to cook beats, but then I saw some pre cooked beats and we're like like vacuum sealed
That sounds pretty good. They're pretty good
so
Right. These are the topics of the day. Thanks everyone for supporting the show Graham
What's going on with you? Not too much, but I'm a horror movie fan.
So I watch several a week and sometimes,
I'm like, I've been on a pretty good consistency
quality wise.
Yeah.
But this week I've hit a stall and I've just,
one after the other is bad and bad and bad.
So I'm really-
Well, they can't all, like,
if you're watching them that often.
They can't all be good, you know all like if you're watching them that all be good
You know, but especially if you're watching them that often like how often do they come up do good horror movies come out?
Well, yeah, there's like one horror movies and also like bad horror movies that are fun to watch
Okay, but these are like bad movies that are not fun to watch
I don't like one of them was kind of fun to watch
I think I was too scared to watch horror for the longest time
After the conjuring after the wind chimes and the wind chimes
Yeah, and I just started again. So I saw none one and two. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I saw talk to me
Oh talk to me. It's great. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it was really but it is. Yeah, I don't know. There's one called it follows
That's a lot of fun. It's before like same person that did it or no
Separate separate but just a great like similar kind of vibe. I need to see it with people. I can't watch it alone
So I'm gonna wait like that's that's true. Yeah, I don't think that I would watch maybe I have watching them alone. I was watching
the Princess Diaries
Horror that's your idea of horror. Yeah with Anne Hathaway and
Yeah, it's about a half away pretty much Julie Andrews
And and yeah, it's about a half way pretty much. Yeah. Julie Andrews.
And she has to take over the,
whatever, the crown of Monrovia or whatever. Sure.
She discovers she's a princess.
And if she doesn't, this other woman will become the queen
and it's the woman who plays the nun.
Oh, scary.
Yeah. Scary.
Terrifying. Yeah. In the nun. Oh, scary. Scary. Terrifying.
Yeah, in the middle of the night, yikes.
But I was watching, I watched a couple of bad ones.
There's one called The Hairdresser that lets you know,
it's the first scene, awesome.
The rest of the movie, you've already seen the best thing
and it just keeps on getting worse and worse and worse.
And this woman's a hairstylist, she drugs her clients, and then scalps them.
And then she wears them in a basement
and does an impression of the person.
Oh, that's fun.
It was fun, it was really, like it was good,
and then it just kept doing the same thing
over and over again.
It's like an improv show.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's bad for business though, you gotta admit.
Well, that was the other thing.
They're never at any point said,
well, what does she do with the bodies?
Mm-hmm.
Did she let them hit the floor?
She might.
They didn't show us.
And like people are,
what kind of, do they just walk through the door?
Are they like repeat clients?
I guess they can't be repeat clients.
But they, no, some of them have been going to her for a while.
And she's just working up the courage.
Yeah.
And she does, it's all different hairstyles and like, it's,
the premise is great, but then it just repeats.
I'm just wondering, would your hair,
someone like cut off your scalp,
would your hair take the same shape
or if you put it on someone else's head?
I mean, it's probably malleable because of the skin.
Does she already have hair?
Yeah, but she like she talks.
Oh, she does. Oh, yeah.
That's terrifying.
Like she's got the top of the scalp on her forehead.
So it doesn't just like putting on a wig.
It's like this gross.
And spoiler, if anybody's going to watch it.
But the last thing is there's a bride walking down the aisle and she's got a veil on you like she's just gonna have the bride's
Hair on her head and that's exactly what it was
So you just knew it was counting that because she was with friends with this woman and was like when is she gonna scale?
What's the?
That musical about the demon barber Oh Sweeney Todd Sweeney Todd. Yeah, do you know that? Yeah, is it with sweetie Todd's?
It's a musical. It's got style
This is just do you are you more of a musical guy than I know then I took you for when Hugh Jackman said that
Thank you. I signed up. Have you seen sweetie Todd? Yes. Yeah, have you the musical? Yeah, is there a non musical? Oh
Maybe wait Yeah, have you the musical? Yeah. Is there a non musical? Uh, maybe wait
Yeah, I thought it was not a musical originally. It's there's many different variants of it cuz it's not like on the depth the lead
Yeah, that's a musical. He's in a musical. Yeah. Yeah, man. I never seen it was Sweeney Todd the name of
What was the band that Brian Adams was in?
Before he went solo? Wait, he was in a band called Sweeney Todd?
I don't know, I'm asking.
That would be wild.
Brian Adams band.
Nick Gilder was the lead singer of it originally.
The Sweeney's?
Twin Sweeney's.
Sweeney Todd, glam rock band Sweeney Todd. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I the over friend if you don't want to hear how I know that one
You seen it. I never seen it though too scared at the time. Is it you've you've seen it before?
Yes, because I think we've talked about but it's on a true story. Yeah, and it's great
It's the it's a kid and she's kind of like the bad seed like she's get causing deaths
And you know then pointing the finger at other people and I see
deaths and, you know, then pointing the finger at other people and stuff like that. Oh, did I see?
I'm, oh man.
But then the big reveal at the end is that she's not a kid.
She just has a condition that makes her look like a kid.
And she's actually a 30 year old that's like infiltrated the orphanage.
And then so cruel.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
And it's been a great twist.
You're like, Oh, yeah, I never saw that coming.
And it's a horror. It's a horror. Yeah, yeah. No. Yeah, and it's been a great twist. Oh, yeah, they never saw that coming. It's a horror. It's a horror. Yeah. Yeah. No
Yeah, right cuz it could be a make could be a
Suspense it could be a thriller. Yeah. Yeah. This is yeah, I was more of a horror
I'm only asking because I don't like I said, I'm scared of horror
So this could be a thing I could watch by myself. It isn't scary scary
It's it put me off true crime because I heard, because I heard the true story in a podcast,
and I was like, I hate this.
Yeah.
Wait, it's a real story.
It's based on a real story of a family
that adopted this woman, thinking she was a girl.
Yeah, so it was like, it was a great twist,
and so then they made a sequel, right?
And you're like, how do you make a sequel to a thing
where you already know the twist?
And also the woman who played like this is 12 years apart.
So the woman who played the orphan was 12.
And oh, really?
And so then she's she's grown up and they they cast her again.
And it's it so doesn't work.
She's got an adult face.
So that wouldn't, so, you know, wouldn't fool anybody.
And her limbs are never in the same frame as her
when you see like kids limbs.
So it's like just a kid's hand.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Or like when you see her before,
and it's just a kid walking.
Why didn't they just get a new 12 year old?
I know that's why I was like, it was a prequel.
So it was supposed to be.
Really?
Yeah, it was a prequel, so it was supposed to be- Really?
Yeah.
It was a prequel, yeah.
Ah.
So she looks older in the prequel
than she does in the actual movie.
That's awful.
That sounds like a funny, like,
if they did like a nuanced, like, sort of,
like, takedown of prequel culture.
Yeah.
But like starring, like, you know, an old person.
Yeah, yeah.
But that's what it was.
It was just, but everybody thought you looked like a kid,
but her face is too angular to be a kid.
And I-
You always got an angular face, the nun.
Yeah, oh my God.
The nun, the nun is scary.
You got the protractor out on that bad boy.
The protractor.
I'm trying to think now of a horror movie
That's like just the kind of fun that it follows is it it's a good. It's a good ride. It's good thrill
Okay, have you seen barbarian? Oh
The one with the no, it's a but it's an Airbnb base. Yeah, I saw that in the theater
Yeah, it's such a fun time. So you had fun watching that we had so much fun with friends. We're talking with the
people were like talking out loud,
like during the, not like distracting,
but they were like making sounds, talking.
Yeah.
Really pulled stuff out of people.
I enjoyed it.
I haven't seen a horror movie in a theater in a long time.
I think the last. It was really fun.
Yeah, I saw.
They replayed Halloween like in 2018, 2019
and I went to that, but I fell asleep.
Yeah, like the one that I remember going to
that was crazy was paranormal activity.
That would have been nuts.
Yeah, and people were losing their mind.
Every jump scare I fell for it every time,
just leaving out of my seat.
And there was just so much of this like,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
People saying it under the roof.
I think I saw Blair Witch project.
Yeah, I did.
I saw that in theater.
I'm pretty sure.
And then what's the other one
with the woman comes out of the well.
The ring.
The ring.
I saw that in theater too.
I'm pretty sure we saw that in theater.
I don't know, maybe, yeah.
Yeah, I saw that and the grudge I saw.
Oh, the grudge.
Which was like, it was another,
I think it was Japanese as well,
but they made it with Sarah Michelle Geller.
Oh, I saw it.
And she like looks under her covers
and there's a hairy head.
But have you seen?
And there's a voice through the whole time that goes.
Yeah.
But have you seen the Blair Witch Project as an adult?
Yes.
You have and what was your?
Still good.
It's still good. So creepy creepy like once you know the the ending they you realize how they ratchet
up the tension every at every turn because everyone died like I can't
remember the ending now yeah they go to the big thing is that the witch that
lived in this house would kill kids and the one thing they would kill a kid,
if there was another kid,
they'd put him in the corner staring at the corner.
So then when she goes,
the woman's the last one standing,
she goes down in the basement,
her friend is standing in the corner and then you just,
yeah.
So it was so scary.
So I produced this podcast for CBC called
Let's Make a Horror.
Okay.
And three past guests of our show
try to write and produce a horror movie.
And it's an award-winning podcast.
It is an award-winning podcast.
And I'll know the,
Let's Make a Rom-Com season won the award.
Oh, it doesn't keep going.
Maybe Let's Make, we also did Let's Make a sci-fi and that maybe won an award too.
Okay.
There's, we're racking them up.
But the first person they interview
in season, in the horror season,
is a guy who directed one of the,
it was two co-directors
who made the Blair Witch Project.
And he said that,
like they made the movie and showed it
at a film festival a bunch of people bid on it yeah and the whoever won was like
okay we love it but we're gonna change the ending no and so they gave them a
bunch of money to change the ending they gave them more budget than the whole
movie had had yeah to change the ending. They gave them more budget than the whole movie had had
to change the ending.
And they made like three or four different endings.
Right.
And none of them worked.
And so they used the original.
But the person.
Kept the money?
The person from the studio was like,
all right, we'll use the original ending,
but this is gonna cost us millions.
And he was like, millions?
This movie's not gonna make millions.
And it did.
It did.
It was a base, sorry for lack of knowledge,
was it based on anything real?
Well, I think it's just kind of like how every forest
in any community has a witch or a goblin or a you know ghost that goes among I think just like
I'm a goblin all right. They're greasy. Yeah, a little guys
But yeah that ending still scary. It's I can now that you said I mean I remember in the trailer it would like it to
That little creepiness in the goals. Yeah, yeah, that falls out of her nose. Yeah, also that there's where they
Yeah, that falls out of her nose. Yeah, and she also that there's where they
Let you know that somebody's thrown away the map so they are like lost and she's like where's the map and the guys like I threw it in the river and that made no sense to me as he was going insane her like friend was oh
He maybe a curse was on him or something, but he yeah, he had forest madness. Yeah
That's what I got early on said for his madness when for his camp came out. I really had was camp
I wonder if Rambo would have had a better luck in the
He worked out a hope BC, you know, he knows how to handle the forest no gun though Rambo you going with your mind
Yeah, exactly. You do like the Arnold Schwarzenegger. You have a knife
No knife. Yes
Yeah, can't kill the witch with a knife Rambo. Yeah. No. Yeah, you got to set up some kind of elaborate like a log
Yeah, that smashes Rambo and Belair which combined. Oh, yeah, that's a forest. Yeah, that's like alien versus predator. Yeah
the two force movies meeting at one
The predator is kind of a forest movie too.
Yeah, yeah. He's doing all right.
There's another prequel coming out.
The last one was amazing.
Oh, really?
Yeah. Because it takes place like the era of cowboy.
So the old west, but the Predator lands on earth.
Then they have to figure out how to fight them in the old west.
Oh, yeah. It was good. Good Oh yeah it was good good for them yeah good for them yeah um should we move on to some overheards?
Sure.
Thanks to everyone who contributed during this year's Max Fun Drive we truly couldn't do what
we do without you. With the drive in the rear view it's time for another proud tradition
our annual charity pin sale!
This year, the proceeds for the pin sale will support VoteRiders, a non-profit dedicated
to expanding ballot access nationwide.
Members at $10 a month or more can purchase MaxFunDrive pins featuring shows from across
the network, and all members are able to buy our network pin design, exclusive to this
charity sale.
The sale is live now and it ends Friday, April 12th.
For more info, head to MaximumFun.org.
And thanks again for your support.
From the twisted minds that brought you the adventure zone, balance and Amnesty and Graduation and Aethersea and Steeplechase
and Uhtraspace and all the other ones.
The McElroy Brothers and Dad are proud to reveal a bold vision for the future of actual
play podcasting.
It's um, it's called The Adventure Zone vs Dracula?
Yeah, we're gonna kill Dracula's ass.
Well, we're gonna attempt, we haven't recorded all of it yet. we're going to kill Dracula's ass.
Well, we haven't recorded all of it yet.
We will attempt to kill Dracula's ass.
The Adventure Zone versus Dracula.
Yes, a season I will be running using the D&D 5th edition
rules set.
And there's two episodes out for you to listen to right now.
We hope you will join us.
Same bat time, same bat channel.
And bats.
I see what you did there.
Overheard. I came up, I was trying to think of a,
damn it, I forget what it is now.
I had a funny spoof song about different kinds of cups.
Like Stanley and Nalgene.
I love that you have that on deck. It's gone now though. Like Stanley and Naljean and...
I love that you have that on deck.
It's gone now though.
Okay, I got one that's very weak.
I also have another...
You see if you like this one.
It's another spoof song I have.
Okay, save it.
Okay.
We won't hear it on the air.
No, nevermind then. Okay, then I want to hear the pooh song
Alright, I see you
I
See you sitting in the Alps eating bread and cheese and I'm like fondue
If you're looking for a treat when you take off your skis, I suggest fun
That's all Got a real weird else streak in you. Thank you
That was all right. That was all right
All right. Here we go
Overheard is a segment of the show where if you hear what people are doling out
It's yours now and you could share with us if you want you don't have to but we would love if you did
If you want to send one in you can send it into SBY at maximum fun.org.
And we always like to start with the guest.
Yeah.
Dave, do you have an overheard?
Yeah.
I was like last night in your lovely city.
I think the guy said, uh, uh, don't, uh, you let your girl disrespect me.
And he just, then they got to know full fight. Yeah. Don't you let your girl disrespect me. And he just then they got in a full fight.
Yeah.
Don't you let your girl disrespect me?
Yeah, he said, or he was your girl.
You let your girl disrespect me.
I'm like, what?
And then he pressed them against the, it was that routine place.
Yeah.
I got into a physical, had them pressed up like, and the other guy was bigger.
The guy that was felt disrespected was bigger than the guy who had the girl.
And then she interrupted.
Then she felt like, then she was disrespecting my field.
Let me do it some more.
Just to prove that I love it.
I don't know what happened before,
but we jumped into that.
I can guarantee my girl will disrespect you
and I can do nothing about it.
That's what I mean.
Would you protect the honor?
Would you stand the honor?
You know what I mean?
Would you stand by your girl disrespecting someone else?
I mean, like, well, but the thing is like,
you let your girl do this.
No, I didn't let her, she just does it.
That's what I mean.
It's like very like, you know.
Well, we didn't talk about it.
She just thinks you're a shitty driver.
She yelled out the window at you.
I'm not here to back her up, okay? in the wrong I'm with you I mean I don't do it I don't feel one way
or the other about it but I'm not gonna stop her from doing that I guess yeah
yeah I couldn't um Dave yeah no I don't really okay but what I did do is I went to a movie today. Oh nice. Yeah
Yeah, I went to kung fu panda 4. Oh, yes based on a true story
The orphan same story. I think it's based on kung fu panda 1. Okay
Which is a true story as far as I know and I haven't overseen and this is
Can I mention we recorded yesterday? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This is all fair play.
So I bought a bag of popcorn.
I love the stuff.
Yeah.
Uh, and the bag, when you get your popcorn here, it's bilingual.
Okay.
It says on the English side, it says a movie without popcorn is like
Cheech without Chong, which I think that's a weird reference. weird reference. Yeah, I think Cheech had a pretty good career.
Yeah.
He was on Nash Bridges or whatever.
Yeah.
And you know.
Brisco Dingus.
Yeah, and Chong had a big good weed business.
He's fine.
He was on that 70's show.
Yeah, and he toured with his wife instead of Cheech.
They don't tour together anymore, but him and his wife do.
Now, the French side of this.
Okay.
The same kind of message,
a movie without popcorn is like,
do you guys speak French?
No, we.
You're gonna love this.
A movie without popcorn is like,
Frodo without Sam.
So is that Lord of the Rings? Yeah, it's like Frodo without Sam.
So is that Lord of the Rings?
Yeah, it's like a movie without popcorn is like Frodo without Sam.
But like.
But apparently in French, the French word for Frodo, Frodon.
It's like Frodon without Sam.
And it's like, like, Cheech and Chong didn't make the lead.
Yeah, I guess now in Quebec, they don't have weed culture.
I want you to read me French stuff.
All right.
That's...
They went to a French immersion.
Oh, okay.
But I mostly, like I do the voice to make fun of French.
No, I like it.
It's hilarious.
M'raisez comme,
Frodin sans âme.
See?
Worth every penny. Worth every penny.
Films on popcorn.
And in school, we weren't allowed to say popcorn.
We had to say, Mayuse Soufflé.
Mayuse Soufflé.
Okay, Mayuse Soufflé.
Mayuse.
Mayuse.
Soufflé.
Mayuse.
Soufflé.
You're nailing it.
Mayuse.
Move over to Duolingo. There's a new teacher in there.
Did you ever see that as an L sketch with Alec Baldwin as the French teacher?
No.
No.
That's great.
Look it up, Chris Farley and...
The golden era.
Yeah.
But yeah, you should memorize everything Alec Baldwin's ever done.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
You're fine with that, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm fine.
Next time we're back, we're just going to be like, okay, uh, have a red October go.
What a bad monologue.
Oh my God.
Um, my overheard.
Yeah.
What's something that was said?
Can you memorize his angry phone call to his daughter?
Oh yeah. If you do the rude little pig monologue. What's something that was said you memorize his angry phone call to his daughter? Oh, yeah
Do the rude little pig monologue?
So I'm not eating gluten at the moment and
Gluten and I are taking a break from each other. We're just gonna you know explore our option
It's weird though that when someone stops eating gluten, they can't shut up
but it's like, it's in everything.
So anything that somebody offers you.
So I was at a show.
Oh, is there gluten in here?
Oh shit.
I did give me the finger.
I reached in my pocket and pulled out my middle finger.
But,
I was at a show, and I just said to the server,
I was like, you guys I just said to the server,
I was like, you guys, do you have any gluten-free bears?
And he goes, oh yeah, we got Glutenberg.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't know, such a great name.
That is awesome.
Where was this at?
This was at a bar downtown.
Oh wow. Yeah.
It was good.
That's awesome.
When you came over yesterday, you thought we might,
because we recorded very late last night.
Yeah.
Eight o'clock.
Eight o'clock.
And you thought we might drink
and you brought your own beer,
but we didn't, we ended up not having beers.
It was Glutenberg.
It was Glutenberg?
Yeah, I've seen it in the stores.
Yeah, I've never heard of it before.
I thought the guy was making fun of me.
But he wasn't, he brought me a Glutenberg beer.
What did they say, Bud Light was made from rice?
Made from rice, from rice? Yeah
So I'll drink that you know if I have to if I have to drink
Now we have over what does wine have gluten I don't know that's the thing everything that I think
Didn't have it has it. Yeah, I feel everything has it. Yeah, so I haven't ventured off. Are you gluten-free? No, I'm a pescatarian
Oh, okay. Is there gluten and fish? I probably I don't know. I can't spell pescatarian
Now we also have overheard sent in to us from all over the map if you want to send one send it to SPY
Maximum fun org and this first one comes from Alex from right here in Vancouver
Every Friday at work my boss gives us a trivia question and if one of us gets it right
We get to leave a little earlier for the weekend great wow this is as good as gets all this culture, but
Just leave yeah, it's obviously
It's no big deal, like if yeah, you also can.
I mean, I guess he can't answer it, but like, does everyone get to answer?
Or is the first one to buzz in?
This is yes, this is the first one to buzz in.
Oh, that sucks.
This Friday, the trivia topic was dessert.
OK, boss's hint was that it was a layered dessert,
layers of cake, pudding, fruit, et cetera, et cetera.
My coworker immediately answered trifle
and everyone cheered because he got it right.
And we were out there and it's-
Oh, everyone got to leave?
Yeah.
Oh, because one person, okay.
Yeah.
Everyone cheered, split second into the cheering
for the correct answer.
Somebody in the back shouted nachos
Guys I think we cracked it not
They got fruit. It's got cake got everything you ever see that episode of friends where she's making trifle
She makes one layer because what is it that the pages are stuck together and she makes she ends up being
trifle and shepherd's by yeah
It actually like in a Joey really likes it And I I think it sounds delicious like it's like kind of what is it like?
Jam and chocolate and like whipped cream and then peas and beef sounds good to me
Sounds good to me. I don't eat them but
You know universe where I do
yum
This next one comes from Caitlin a Glasgow Scotland, sitting in a
cafe in Glasgow and a pair of dads next to me are discussing, uh, going to the
IMAX one dad says he's never been except to see the Blade Runner movie.
And the other dad shakes his head and says, I didn't enjoy it.
Two and a half hours.
It's just too long to stare at Ryan Gosling's tiny ears.
Oh really?
I never thought about his ears.
I thought he had normal size ears.
Yeah, let's pull him up here.
Yeah, let's see.
Maybe they did it with green screen or something.
They made his ears smaller.
They made it tiny?
Yeah.
What, how do you spell ears?
E-A-R-S. Okay.
I don't know.
I think he's got regular sized ears.
Oh yeah, they look normal.
Yeah, I can't, I'm not.
I mean, they're not gigantic, but they're not tiny.
No, that is a fine, perfectly sized ear.
Yeah.
Nothing wrong with that.
Yeah, I think that's a good shape.
Yeah, no, he's good, he's good.
Sorry, sorry. Sorry you
Glaswegian body shamer
Ryan is still perfect
This last one comes from Steven from Westchester, Pennsylvania
This comes from him in line at a post office
I was next in line at the post office and the main man in front of me had just done
just gotten done mailing his package and the cashier said if I needed any
Stamps and he said very confidently. I'll take a book of those RPGs and the cashier was like what?
Clearly confused in the masses Ruth Bader Ginsburg
Yeah, I don't know. I don't know she's on the team. I think I'm still working through my Shania Twain stamps.
Oh yeah? Yeah.
I got one from a friend that was Donald Sutherland.
Oh nice.
Donald Sutherland stamp.
He's been playing an old man.
I occurred to me he's been playing an old man
for 30 years.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You in Yellowstone?
No, I don't.
I mean, I don't know Yellowstone.
It's about a branch, right? Yeah, he's It's about a branch right his name is a ranch name. Yes other than ranch
the
Yeah, I went to the I had to go to the post office a couple weeks ago you get the
Dead Queen. Oh sure. Yeah, or the, was it the live King coins? I forget.
We already had Dead Queen coins.
We did have Queen coins,
and then there were limited editions.
It was just a coffin with a crown on it,
and I thought that was in bad taste.
Seriously?
Yeah, no.
Okay.
No.
Skeleton with a crown on it.
And then the hairdresser wearing the Queen's scalp
with a crown on it.
In addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls.
If you want to call us, our phone number is 1-844-779-7631.
That's one.
Ugh.
Spypod one like these people have.
Hi, Dave Graham and guests.
This is an overheard from the beginning of the pandemic. I had
just started a new job, started with some other folks and right as everyone was sent
to work at home from the office, so the sort of area director called a Zoom meeting for
everyone on staff. We're all calling in from the office to,
or from our homes to meet everybody.
And kind of an aimless meeting.
And towards after a few minutes of introducing ourselves,
the director said,
so does anyone wanna share anything they're working on or?
And after a beat of silence,
the admin assistant who was sitting on camera smoking cigarettes in her house
held up a pounder of Bud Light and said, I'm working on this fucking beer.
It still makes me laugh.
I have to go up there.
And she's nuts to them.
That's great.
Oh, that person rules.
Yeah, just somebody on a zoom called Smokey.
I've never, never even thought of it.
It could be.
Oh, I'm sure they're doing it in Europe.
Very fundamental.
Yeah. Oh, man.
If you like, you ever smoke cigarettes?
Oh, yeah, I smoked this weekend.
Oh, you still smoke? No.
I mean, I was just stressed. I bought a pack. Yeah.
Yeah. Can you do like French inhale?
You do that kind of like like you let out a bit and then suck it back in.
No, I'm not that good. I'm still coughing.
Yeah. That good. Oh, you're still coughing.
OK, yeah. No, I'm not sure you you tackle that and then I'll show you
Yeah, I smoke menthols too when I can in the US big filter the one that you can crush them camel crushes
No, what's that? They crush it changes flavors
No, yep. No look it up. Okay, isn't what's the one where you?
Blow smoke into someone else's mouth. Oh
What's the one where you blow smoke into someone else's mouth?
Oh, yeah, what is that? I used to get people, my friends to do that
when I smoked weed.
Yeah, what is that?
Guessing cousins, maybe?
When you said French and Hale, that's what I pictured.
Maybe I've got the wrong term.
I always thought that it was French and Hale
was letting it out and then sucking it back in.
What's the one where it goes from your mouth
into your nose?
Yeah, I think that's the way you can do it.
You can do rings.
Yeah, I learned how to do rings.
Oh, yeah. French and hail.
I'm looking up pictures of it.
Oh, super cool.
Whoa, God damn it.
I got to look this up.
Yeah, I got to show you because it it rules.
Oh, well, one one thing called it the Irish waterfall.
Wait, how to do a called it the Irish waterfall. Wait.
How to do a fringe and hail, Irish waterfall.
But then this one, how to bane fringe and hail.
Yes!
Whoa.
That rules.
It was a bunch of smoke going between the guy's nose
and mouth that looked like Bane's mask.
That's awesome.
Oh, wow.
Well, that's the top of the charts YouTube wise.
Yeah.
I'm concerned. Anyone working on anything? Yeah, I'm working on this fucking vein French in hell
All right next phone call
Hmm
Hey, David Graham, I got an overheard here in the form of kids say the Darnedest
I was at a this is Christian Nanaimo by the way
I was at a, this is Christian DeNimo by the way, I was at a weekend science education event
and this kid came out of one of the buildings
or one of the rooms and it said,
oh man, I'm gonna get so much pink eye.
And that was actually my daughter,
she'd come out and see where the microscopes were
and I had to say, please don't tell everybody
you're gonna get pink eye at the science event
at your mother's organ.
Keep it up guys, great show, bye.
Yeah, shared microscopes at a science event at your mother's organ. Keep it up guys, great show. Bye. Yeah, shared microscopes at a science center.
You're begging for it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's a real scarlet letter when you have pink eye.
Did you ever have it?
Yeah, oh yeah.
But it's very like super contagious.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
But one of the people of the origin,
there had to be some fecal matter involved.
Uh-huh. That's why I don't paper the toilet seat. One of the people of the origin, there had to be some fecal matter involved.
That's why I don't paper the toilet seat.
You don't want to get pink eye?
Oh man, I'm gonna get pink eye.
You'll be fine.
Have you ever had it?
I don't think I have.
I don't think I have either.
I've had conjunctivitis.
Same thing?
No.
Same thing, I'm just joking.
No, I haven't had it.
My dog's had it.
Yeah, drops?
Do we put drops in? I don't know. You can put drops in, but you't had it. My dogs had it. Yeah, drops. Do we drop them? I don't know.
You can put drops in, but you can just wait.
It'll go away. Yeah, that's like every disease.
Yeah. Wait it out.
All right. Here's your final phone call.
Hey, Dave Graham and possible guests.
This is Miranda calling from Madison, Wisconsin, with an overheard.
I started taking a class at my gym
that's called Cardio Tie Box.
I don't know, we do a little cardio,
we do some sort of boxing moves.
I can't tell you what the tie part means.
But I was leaving class this morning,
there was a young woman ahead of me,
and there were some people waiting just outside.
They asked what the class was, and she said,
I don't know, it's like cardio my tie?
That's all, off I go.
Delicious, give me one of your my tie.
Yeah, my tie. Yeah, a teaky drink those. Yeah, Cardiomyotide. Yeah, yeah.
Seeky drink.
This is our- I would say that.
Yeah?
I mean, I would do something like that.
Whoever this person is, I would do,
I would mess up the names and call it that.
Sure.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's fine, I wouldn't correct you.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Thank you, I don't feel so alone.
Yeah, cool.
You know, you'd ask the waiter, do you have this?
Do you have Cardiomyotide? Yeah, and then maybe we only got glutenberg. Yeah. Cool. And you know, you'd ask the waiter, do you have this? Do you have cardiomyotide?
Yeah.
And then maybe we only got glutenberg.
Yeah.
Take it or leave it.
We only got glutenberg.
This is a glutenberg pop-up, man.
Yeah.
We're at the glutenberg brewery.
Um, well that brings us to the end of the podcast.
Dave, it's a-
Oh my God.
I'm surprised that's the first time I've seen this episode where I've been like,
are you talking to me?
This comes out on the 23rd?
The first.
The first, April 1st.
Sick.
Are you doing shows?
Oh, I hope you're getting...
This is actually the night of the first,
so I hope you guys didn't get pranked too hard.
I did, somebody pantsed me in front of the parliament.
On Easter Monday.
Yes, Easter Monday. Wow. Yeah.
They said rise this and they pulled down my pants.
I was like, yeah, that's rude. Rise.
Oh, because of Easter.
You doing any shows for.
I actually, I'm doing a show April 2nd in New York at Union Hall at 10 PM in Brooklyn.
Cool.
And then also the film will be on video on demand
in the US and Canada, March 12th.
So by then, it will ready be up.
Cool.
So you can watch it.
I'll say the name of the film again.
Sometimes I think about dying.
Yeah.
Me too, man.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, thank you so much for being a guest.
Honestly, thank you both.
I do.
I enjoy myself so much.
Yeah.
It's great to have you.
I love you guys. It's so great. So funny. And everybody out there, we love you.. I do. I enjoy myself so much. Yeah, it's great to have you guys. It's so great. So funny.
And everybody out there, we love you. We adore you.
Thank you for being with us on the Max Fun Drive.
And I'd like you to come back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasts. Maximum Fun, a worker-owned network of artist-owned shows supported directly by you.