Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 841 - Jordan Morris

Episode Date: April 30, 2024

Comedian and writer Jordan Morris returns to talk church youth groups, sourdough, and Saskatchewan.

Hi, he's Dave Schumke. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 840 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark. With me as always is a man who just shared his delicious recipe for something called peanut butter noodles, Mr. Dave Shumka.

It's not my recipe. It belongs to tattooed alternative chef, Matty Matheson. Look it up, folks. It's a big peanut buttery bowl of noodles. What was the guy, do you remember the guy that would cook a thing in a dishwasher? Do you remember that guy? No, wait. Was he the Canadian guy who kind of looked like Kramer?

He had Kramer hair? Maybe. I just remember that being the thing that he could cook fish in a dishwasher. I remember a guy on a TV, a Canadian cooking show cooked fish in his engine as he drove. Yeah, I think this might have been the same guy. His name was maybe Bob. Yeah, I think we're talking about the same.

Okay, let's. Was there a shortage of pots and pans up there that I didn't hear about? It's the pots and pans are yesterday's news. Is it Chef Bob Bloomer? Yeah, that sounds right. He's the... Grandpa cooked in pots and pans. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

This is your alternative. Are you your grandpa? Here are his TV shows, Glutton for Punishment, World's Weirdest Restaurants, and the Surreal Gourmet. That's the guy, Surreal Gourmet, yeah. You think you would run out of stuff like that, like how to cook asparagus in a- A printer. Yeah. You just shove in the asparagus where you would normally shove in the paper.

Make sure there's plenty of toner because that's where you're getting the flavor. You can actually inject the ink cartridges with lemon juice and butter. Yes. Salt, fat, acid, heat, toner. That voice you're hearing, everybody. Graham, introduce him. It's your job. That guy, he is our guest this week. He is

podcaster extraordinaire and graphic novelist who has a brand new graphic novel coming out called Youth Group, which is available for pre-order now. It's Jordan Morris. Hello, Jordan. Hi, hi. Thanks for having me. Thanks for coming on the show. This is exciting. Yeah. I love to chop it up with my two buds. With a couple of buds. With a couple of buds. Today we're gonna be making extreme catfish. We're cooking now. Yeah, and now how we prepare that, we drive over it with a car.

That tenderizes it, you see. Right, exactly. And the tires leave a kind of umami. Then we cook it using those bug zappers that used to be really popular. Yes. And then we eat it out of a trash can because we throw it away, but we eat it out of the can.

I loved, there was a show in Canada called Food Jammers, and it was these- There was? Yeah. Where were they jamming the food? They were these young hipster chefs and sort of engineers who... You don't say. You don't say.

...who would make... They would build a contraption just to... A hot tub that also cooks Japanese food underneath. So it was like, what was the one where they made? Was it robot wars where they would make robots to? Is that what it was called? Battle bot? Trash yard?

Battle battle bot? There was battle bots. Wasn't there one called like junkyard wars where they like made stuff out of junk and then made them fight? This is why AI is coming for us in a big way, because we did see shit like that. Because we can't remember anything? But yeah, can we strap food to the battle bots for the next incarnation?

Can we give them ham chainsaws? Well, give one of them a blowtorch and give the other one some steak that needs cooking. There you go. And then you cook the bot, you cook the steak, and you eat it right off the bot. like a blowtorch and give the other one some steak that needs cooking. There you go. And then you cook the bot, you cook the steak and you eat it right off the bot. Mm, yum.

Steak off the bot. I mean, it does not get any better than steak off the bot. Steak off the bot. Yeah. The, boy, the hibachi. Nice, nice. Do we wanna get to know us?

Yes. Get to know us. Jordan, you've written, this is your second full graphic novel or? It is, yes. And then you also wrote for like Archie as well. Yes, yeah. I've done, I'm newish to the world of writing comics, having a great time. And yeah, this is my second graphic novel,

but yeah, before this, I've been doing some stories for the Archie Comics Chilling Adventures line. This is the line of Archie Comics where they get killed in every issue. For some, I, okay, I loved this line of comics before I started writing for them. It is delightful how much the Archie audience wants to see them get decapitated. I can't explain it, but it is fun.

Who's the number one? Is it Reggie? Reggie, everybody wants to see Reggie. Oh yeah, Reggie gets killed a lot. Dilton Doily gets killed a lot. He's like the nerd in town. Dilton gets off very early in most issues. What about Mr. Flute Snoot?

Does he ever meet an untimely end? Graham, I went pretty deep into the RG Comics lore. I don't know if I know who Mr. Flute Snoot is. Is he the music teacher? He's the music teacher, he's the band teacher. Yeah, he has a big long nose, the kind of, I guess you could say it's kind of like a flute, flute-esque kind of nose. Yeah, his snoot is flute-like.

Flute-like, yes. It's a flute-like snoot. But yeah, he was one of the less popular teacher characters that they would kind of slot in as needed. Oh my gosh, yeah. I, okay, yeah, well if I ever get to do another one, I'll make sure Mr. Flute Snoot gets shoved into a wood chipper. Do they get, like, they don't all get killed in every issue. No, but I mean, I think in every issue and continuity, not a problem for the good folks at Archie comics.

God bless them. They do not care. And that's part of the fun. Yeah, usually one of the core four, Archie Jughead, Betty Veronica, will get killed in a given. Reggie not in the core four. No, I'm sorry. Reggie's a, I mean, Reggie is an important supporting character, you know.

Yeah, I wouldn't put it on the top. We stan a bully legend. Yeah. A jerk for the ages, certainly. Yeah. But yeah, I A jerk for the ages, certainly. Yeah. But yeah, I would call Reggie an important part of the supporting cast. Wow, I always thought it was him.

I would have put Jughead in the supporting cast, but I haven't kept up in the last couple decades. Jughead would get his own double digest. I don't think there was ever a Reggie. Yeah, Jughead's had his own. I. I don't think there was ever a Reggie. Yeah, Jughead's had his own. I never found the double digests held together very well by like, like, oh, this is a. Blue eyes that kind of fall apart.

This is a Jughead double digest. Like, I guess he's in all the comics in it. Yeah. And him and Hot Dog, his dog and Big Ethel, you know, he can't. Oh, yeah. Big Ethel. He hates including, you know, it hating all women, but Big Ethel, you know, he can't. Oh yeah, Big Ethel. Boy, he hates, including, you know, hating all women, but Big Ethel especially. Is there, in the Archie comics, is it just one story that goes throughout or is it a bunch of short stories like in the Double Digest where people are getting killed every year?

Yeah, the Chilling Adventures, usually how they set it up is that it is kind of, there's kind of an overarching story and the kind of littler stories link together somehow. That's not always how they do it, but yeah, that's the format they usually use. So there's kind of a frame story and then you'll kind of go in and out of the other stories from that. Yeah, it's pretty cool. Did you ever think as a kid reading Archie's that one day I'll be putting the words in Archie's mouth?

You know, I didn't. It's a real thrill. And not only was I thrilled to get asked to do this, but my mom was, my mom could not have been more excited. Oh yeah. I think we probably all struggle with this a little bit is like, you know, our parents ask us what we're up to and sometimes they don't understand what we're talking about because, you know. This parents just don't understand. Parents just try to do just that.

But yeah, when I told my mom I was doing something for Archie, she flipped, it was so much fun. Oh, that's awesome. My mom, there's two high points of my career, if you ask my mom, writing for Archie and being in a commercial for the local weather Hmm. And what did you do in the said commercial? Were you a weather or your weather Graham Graham? I can answer this Avid Jordan Jesse go list. I know that he was a surfer

They've wanted to know about where the tasty waves were and the weatherman's name was Fritz Coleman. NBC fours, Fritz Coleman. You got it, Dave. Nice work, Dave. Very well done. I don't know if y'all have this on spy. We certainly have this on JJ go, but like we've been doing the podcast so long

and it is just like us chatting about our lives. There are like five or six stories that just come up eight times a year. What are the spy stories? What are the spy stories? I mean one reoccurring theme is Dave has very boring dreams. So we do bring up one of his classic boring dreams, which is Dave. Oh, the crisis dream. It was in crisis because my travel agent was retiring. Wait, is that from real life? Did you actually have to retire?

OK. I mean, I do have a travel agent in real life. That's smart. She's not retired. OK. Thank God. She gives me like, she really gives me good tips. What are the advantages of a travel agent in 2024? It seems like that's maybe a job that is kind of going away, but maybe, maybe not. Well, ours is the best, Lily's the best.

And so she's not going anywhere, but like little stuff like, oh, Dave, don't buy your travel insurance from this company, buy it from this company, because if you have to make a claim in Canada, they have, they're guaranteed by a Canadian underwriter. Okay. So, you know, stuff like that.

And, you know, she can pool our points better. Nice, yeah. Fuck, I don't know how to pool my points at all. They're just whirling around loose in the wind. You step on them when you get up to go to the bathroom at night. You left these points laying around. Jesus Christ, my points are everywhere. How many points do you guys have?

Just if you had to tally, rough ballpark, how many points? At the moment, because I just took some trips. So now I'm down to 40,000. 40,000, okay. Then does that include just travel points? Like I'm also like shoppers points, any kind of club membership. Oh no, those are just travels points. I don't collect your shoppers optimum club points.

Dave, it's foolish. It's foolish of you. There's no downside. And eventually you could buy... Yeah, I have to get emails from them. No, that's why you give them a dummy address. They're never going to check. Oh, really? That's smart. Yeah, I have one account that has all of that stuff.

Unfortunately, I regularly forget the password to that account. And so then it sends... We've sent it to this other account like, I don't know the password to that account either. Graham, there's so many great deals you're missing out on. That's true, yeah. The big one recently was getting some primo, cheap chocolate bunnies left over from Easter that had been marked way, way down.

Oh my gosh. Yeah, yeah. Bummer. What other things are the reoccurring things? I mean, we don't really have the same stories over and over, but yeah, we do have themes that come up. Like Graham, Graham's really bad with money. Yeah, he's good with points, bad with money. You're rich with points.

Rich with points, I'm a bit of a slut, a lot of our stories about me. Yeah, Graham's a slut. A slut for points. make a raid points on this guy. He'll do anything Exactly is a sure thing if you got points. I'll suck your dick for points Just yeah, could you swipe your membership card down my ass, correct? So yeah, there's a lot about my sexual exploits and. Ah, yes, the exploits. Yeah.

Now, when you were a kid, because like I remember going to a cabin when I was a kid and there being a giant box of Archies and then like Harvey comics. Oh yeah, sure. Like Little Lulu, Casper, Richie Richie. Little Lulu. Hotfoot. Hotfoot, absolutely. Oh yeah, sure, like Little Lulu, Casper, Richie Richie. Little Lulu. Hotfoot. Hotfoot, absolutely. Oh yeah, the little devil.

Yeah. So very blasphemous, Hotfoot. Yeah, and there was Little Lada. She was a big giant girl that could squash a seesaw and that kind of thing. Yep. And then there was one called Dot, and her whole thing was she just wore polka dots. That was the whole... Yeah, maybe not a super well-developed character.

Dot, hopefully they gave her some texture over the years. Never a big Harvey Comics reader. I knew of them, of course, but yeah. Yeah, and I think you're absolutely right. I think those were like, those and Archie were definitely like at the doctor's office if you had to go like, you know to the pediatrician You got a you got to paw through a stack of Archie's Yeah, like maybe Childless aunt has some for when the kids come to visit right puts them out on the coffee table for the kids. Yeah

Yeah, there was also one in that same box called Sad Sack. And that one was about a guy in World War II that was a real lazy, he was kind of Beetle Bailey-esque. I don't remember Sad Sack. He was a bit of a chicken and also a bit of a laze about. Okay. Was he, you say he's in World War II,

was he on the front lines or is he back at the base? He was, I mean, I guess he'd be at the base because the drill sergeant was always on his ass. And those drill sergeants, oh boy. Did he storm the beaches of Normandy? He did, there was a big double issue where he stormed the beaches of Normandy. Real try, when Sadzak came home too,

he just like couldn't adapt to regular life, you know? It's hard and we don't get our veterans mental health care. Yeah, that was the overarching theme of Sad Sack. Also, anytime he got in trouble, his punishment was to peel potatoes. That was the big. I mean, I know that convention. Like when you get in trouble in the army,

you're peeling potatoes. Is that where that came from, Sad Sack? That might've come from Sad Sack because that was in every single issue. That seems like maybe the nicest part of the army. Like you could zone out. Yeah, it's like repetitive. There's something kind of meditative

about a repetitive task. Yeah, potatoes, they're kind of got a nice familiar smell, that dirt kind of smell. It's not the off-putting smell, you know? But yeah, that was a big thing in the military. It's where we got all our French fries when France was occupied. That's very good. Yeah. Tell us about Youth Group.

Oh my gosh, I'd love to. Youth Group, it is a YA horror comedy graphic novel. I did it with a great artist named Bowen McGurdy. Super cool, super talented. And yeah. Good name. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

Bowen sometimes professionally goes by Bones McGurdy. Oh shit. That's good. So yes. I think they are okay being called Bones. So yeah. Bowen McGurdy, Bones McGurdy. Great name.

A great name anyway you slice it. Yeah. It's cool that you work in an industry where someone goes professionally by bones. Yeah, I mean, that's comic books for you. Also recording industry, right? You could be a mutt lang or you're- Right, sure, sure, sure, yeah.

I mean, I guess, yeah, I guess all the cool industries have to go by cooler names. My podcast name is Chopper. Jordan Chopper Morris. Chopping it up on the podcast. Yeah, so this, it is about, it is about a bunch of teenage exorcists. They're in this like goofy, like church Bible study group

where you do like, you know, abstinence themed parody songs and a cool youth pastor with tattoo sleeves sits backwards on a chair and tells you about a cool dude named JC who was pretty punk rock if you ask me. So yeah, I grew up in one of those things and always kind of like wanted to write about them. So yeah, the premise here is one of those goofy Bible study groups has to do actual exorcisms. And it's a little funny, it's a little spooky, there's a little bit of romance. And yeah, it's coming out. People can pre-order it.

Pete You said that you grew up in doing youth group stuff? I was gonna ask. Dave, did you do youth group stuff? Dave Yeah, but not, it wasn't like, um, I think my church is a little more hippie dippy. I always love hearing about those. Yeah, yeah, no, like, yeah, the United Church of Canada is very, like, cool Jesus, very, like, very little fire and brimstone. They let you come into church with a fresh buzz. Sunday morning, your mimosas.

I always like hearing about those chiller churches. Mine definitely was not that. I was talking to my buddy, Emily Fleming, who I think grew up Methodist, and she was saying that they were okay with you with talking about jacking off. They're like jacking off is fine because it makes it less likely that you'll like impulsively have sex with someone and you know like get pregnant. So they're like oh it's like an abstinence tool jacking off. Anyway, I thought that was revelatory. And then every Lent they were like it's no fap Lent. So yes, Lent, the original no nut November.

I don't think that ours was particularly abstinence themed, given the clientele. There wasn't a lot of opportunity for guys like us. Graham, did you do a youth group? I did some youth group stuff. I don't remember, I remember doing scavenger hunts. I feel like that was like a weekend, like Friday or Saturday night activity. Right, they always would plan a like alternative

to going out and drinking and like fucking scavenger hunt. That was a, that's a classic, like who needs to like go out and drink when you can knock on doors and ask for pennies. Was your like experience like, like was it constant? Were there activities all the time? I feel like at my church, it was like, well, maybe once a month. And my mom made me go, not for even religious reasons, just because I didn't have any friends. He was worried about me.

She wants you to be around other kids for an hour. Um, yeah, I, I think it was the same thing. I think there was maybe outings every second weekend or something like that. And it was probably the only corridor for me to actually talk to girls. I feel like it was that and square dancing lessons were the two. The two hottest, horniest activities, church and square dance. Yeah. Yeah.

But Graham, you've gotten, you were always really good at alimanding left. That's right. Yeah, that was my big move. I was mentioning the do-si-do. Yeah. You know, that guy can promenade me home. Yeah, he can promenade.

He can promenade right home. Yeah. Yeah. Ours was not particularly cool in the sex positive way, but something they did have was like the youth group room was under the church and they would host punk shows on the weekends. Oh, shit. Mostly like Christian punk bands who were doing,, like this is Green Day, but there's

some Bible stuff thrown in there. But once in a while you would get a secular band just coming through town playing at the church. Yeah, it was fun. It was definitely like my first like, you know, live music experience. Was that the like the place for like an all ages music show in town? Yeah, in my, in my show in town? It was, yeah. In my neighborhood there was.

Yeah, there were some, a couple other little like all ages venues that were like a little bit out of town, but like for something close to home. If you wanted to see a cool ska punk band in 1995 close to home, that's, you went to the Mission Hills underground. Shit, yeah. We went to the Carpenters Union Hall. That was- Oh, nice. Yeah, Union Hall, great place for a punk show.

Yeah, and man, I don't know what was in it for them. The floors were probably disgusting every time that they came in on a Sunday morning. The Carpenters? Yeah, yeah. Whatever the Carpenters were meeting. Yeah, but they liked it. They wanted to refinish that wood every morning.

They're just like, let's invite some kids in they'll spill Mountain Dew everywhere Yeah, I don't know if that If that exists anymore not all ages shows I know those exist but there was like someplace in Calgary where like Under 18 kids like it was kind of like a club that you could hang out at. It wasn't music based, but it was, I don't know if that's still. Was it your Uncle Jesse's Smash Club? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And Joey did the warmup as a comedian. Joey would turn up to the world with his puppet friend. With his puppet, yeah. That hilarious beaver we all still love to this day. I believe it was a woodchuck. Woodchuck, sorry, sorry this day. He was a woodchuck. Woodchuck. Sorry. That's right. He loved wood. Oh, he did.

Oh, did he ever. I gathered from context clues that that was a full house plot line, but I guess I don't explicitly remember that one. Was there one where Jesse opened up? Well, Jesse and the Rippers would frequently perform at the Smash Club, which apparently anyone could go to because all the kids in the family would go as well. Right, the babies, the toddlers. Yeah.

Yeah, it was their version of the Viper Room. There was a lot of, a batch that went down. Yeah. Right, right right Michelle overdue overdose on juice boxes we found her on the street in front of the viper room gone too soon yeah all right covered in puke in front of the smash club yeah but i don't know like i mean i probably shouldn't know if there's youth gathering places in front of the Smash Club. Yeah, but I don't know if like, I mean, I probably shouldn't know if there's youth gathering places, that's probably not information I should have.

But yeah, yeah, there was like a right. There was a space of time if you weren't into sports where there was literally nowhere for you to be, there was like it was home or a field or a parking lot, those were like the three big options, you know? Did you ever skateboard either of you? Yes, very poorly. I'd yeah, the same, same here. I like, I think I, I got like a target skateboard for a birthday and, uh, you know, try,

try to push around on it. But yeah, I, I was, I was not a sporty kid, uh, nor was I a kid with balance. Yeah. I had balance issues from day one. And what about now? Do you have trouble with work-life balance? Yes, yeah. No, actually that's great, but I still just like,

can't walk around without falling down. Still tip over a lot. But no, I make sure to log off every day at six and not look at my phone and plan trips. And if I'm out of office, I am out of office, okay? Don't even try and contact me. But I cannot walk on a balance beam. Oh yeah, the balance beam, shit.

Don't even ask me. I think I did okay on the balance beam. I did horribly on the parallel bars, I can tell you that. Oh yeah, that was your floor routine. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Floor routine was good. As long as I got to pick the music. Yeah. Yeah. Whole new world from the Aladdin Center. Oh, classic floor routine song. I bet you danced beautifully to that. Yes, I did very much.

Like a human magic carpet. You guys both had, right, like a week or something where gymnastics equipment was set up in your gym and you had to, or was that like only my school that had that kind of thing? You guys both had, right, like a week or something where gymnastics equipment was set up in your gym and you had to, or was that like only my school that had? Yeah, I vaguely remember like gymnastics week. I think it was outdoors and it was like a balance beam and stuff like that. But yeah, I don't think we'd like did, you know.

My kids are my kids' school. They have a, they'll have two weeks a year where the local gymnastics company comes in and sets it up for, and then they also have two weeks a year where the break dance company teaches them routine. Really? Yeah.

How's your kid at the break dancing? Not good. I mean, fine, they learn the routine, but then they do a big performance for all the parents and every grade goes together. So they're in the routine, but then they do a big performance for all the parents and every grade like goes together. And then in the middle of the performance, there's always like a little breakdown where kids are invited to go to the center and like show off their own moves, like come up with,

you know, 10 seconds of their own little routine. My kids have never once volunteered for that. We'll just have them do more break dancing around the house to get them comfortable. That's true. Yeah, well, we do have that, I did set up a head spinning station. That'd be a piece of cardboard in the living room.

Yeah, a little cardboard in the living room. That's awesome. Oh man, that would be the very best to have a break dancing. Although I'd probably be really bad at it too now that I think about it. I'll tell you what they do during that little time where the kids get to freestyle. It's Fortnite dances.

Oh, sure, sure, sure. Yes, flossing and the like. Yeah, and it is dabbing. Whatever you dance, you end with a big dab. And then a lot of the girls who do gymnastics flossing and the like. Yeah, and it is dabbing. Whatever you dance you do, you end with a big dab. And then a lot of the girls who do gymnastics will throw in like, you know, that thing where you like walk on your, you like roll over backwards and walk on your hands.

Oh shit, that's a big, that's a good closer doing that, walking off. Always a crowd pleaser. Yeah, but like, hmm. Yeah, I think gymnastics was as cool as it got and not in my school. And even that was not super cool, but, oh man, did I smack my face on that parallel.

Yeah. With no bars. Yeah. It's weird that I think in men's and women's gymnastics, they have different apparati. Yeah. You think of like the rings, but the women don't do the rings. And the men don't do the vault or men do the vault and not the boy.

I don't know. I don't know. Olympics is coming up this summer. I'm going to get reacquainted. Oh, breakdancing is in this Olympics. So there you go. You have to get Margot ready early. It's going to be the funkiest Olympics yet.

Yeah. I mean, they're skateboarding in the last winter Olympics. No summer Olympics. No, Summer Olympics. Okay. So it's not your grandpa's Olympics anymore. No, it's not. Our grandpas would be furious if they saw

what was going on in the Olympics. Yeah, they'd be like more fencing, more modern pentathlon or whatever. More crooning. Our grandpas would want crooning in the Olympics. Michael Buble destroyed. This is what music was before the Beatles ruined it with their long hair and their rocking and their rolling and the shaking of the hips. Music was a man in a suit singing a song about the moon.

Music was a man in a suit singing a song about the moon. I meddled in, in crooning. Bronze. Yes, I got the bronze in crooning. So in the new, the new sports that are this year, there's skateboarding. Surfing, surfing. This is in Paris, by the way. So they will be surfing in Paris. Sport climbing. Okay. Yeah, climbing makes sense.

That makes sense, doesn't it? Is shit posting in this year? Yeah, trolling is in. And then also breaking. They call it just breaking. Breaking, okay. Okay, not break dancing. All right.

Yeah. Cool. Well, I... That's gonna be a great one. I can't wait. They should have breaking, but you get to go into one of those rage rooms and just smash it on TV.

Rage room would be the best new sports. Have y'all ever done that? Yep. No. Yeah, I got to do it once. There's an animation company in LA called Titmouse that I have not worked for, but I had a friend that did and they invited me to their, they had a yearly Christmas party with a rage room and you would bring something and you got to smash it. And it was really fun. I think they stopped it, you know, during the pandemic and it hasn't

started back up again, but it was a hoot. I loved smashing. Do you break stuff with your hands? Do you get a hammer? There's like a wall of apparatuses. Oh, cool. Yeah. I used a crowbar. That was my go-to crowbar.

Cool. Cool choice. What did you smash? Well, here's the thing that we tried to smash and had a really hard time with it, was an old TV, like before flat screen TVs, like with glass. Those do not want to break easily. That glass is thicker than than I thought and it took a lot of multiple blows before it cracked.

But I was shocked at how resilient this TV was. What stood a crowbar, huh? Yeah, several shots from a crowbar and then eventually cracked. So what did you smash up? I smashed a broken printer. I brought an old printer that stopped working and I think used a baseball bat and had a lot of fun. I did an, are you not entertained to the crowd?

And that got a pop. That got a pop. Is there a crowd or is it other people doing it? There is, yeah. People are watching. It is a little bit thunderdome-y. It's kind of like, fenced off so that shrapnel can't fly into the Christmas party. But yeah, people kind of hang around and watch the smashing and you got to rile up the crowd. Did you wear, did you have a mask that you wore? I think it's goggles, it was goggles and a jumpsuit

if I'm remembering it correctly. Okay, they made us wear a mask and I was like, I don't think this has been sanitized. Yeah, sure. I feel like these guys are not big on cleanliness. What kind of mask? Like a paintball mask. Oh, okay.

Kind of like a motocross kind of looking thing. But like I say, I should have brought my own or refused and just said, oh. Yeah, one of your many paintball masks. I go on what looks like Casey Jones from the Ninja Turtle. Great mask, an iconic mask. Yeah, one of the top 10 masks. Is it a hockey mask?

This mask they give you, his Casey yeah it's it's kind of like a stylized hockey man stylized yeah yeah it is I watched Heat yesterday oh yeah oh shit because I had three hours to kill Because I had watched Heat before and I was critical of it. People told me I was wrong. And so I was like, well, I guess I owe this movie three more hours. Yeah. So I can tell people when they say they love Heat, like I've watched it twice and I didn't get it.

I watched it twice and I liked it better the second time. You're right. I couldn't get through it when I tried to watch it because I feel like 16 year old me would have loved it. But I feel like I missed that window to really be really big into heat. Because it was, yeah, I just remember it being like Pacino, De Niro, they're the two most famous actors

and they've never worked together. Well, they were never on screen at the same time in Godfather Part Two. But they're in this together. And then I saw it and I was like, I thought everyone else thought it was disappointing too. And then I was wrong. Apparently everyone loves it.

Yeah, it was one that I remember like cool kids in school. It was that, Boondock Saints, and something called We Own the Night. Those were the three big. What's We Own the Night? I feel like it was a Mark Wahlberg. I haven't heard of that one either. That's a Mark Wahlberg Joaquin Phoenix thing from 2007.

Oh, maybe that wasn't it then. Cause I wasn't hanging around with my high school friends in 2007. You were going to some all ages shows. We own the night. You're thinking of We Bought a Zoo. My parents won't let me watch We Bought a Zoo. Are you thinking of Judgment Night?

Judgment Night, that's it. Yeah. Oh, I also haven't thinking of Judgment Night? Judgment Night. That's it. Yeah. Oh, I also haven't heard of Judgment Night. Is that a mafia-y, su-ty kind of movie? No, it's... Is it? Wait, is Dennis Leary in it? Yes.

Yes. Yeah. And it's... So, it's from 1993. Right. Starring Emilio Estevez, Cuba Gooding Jr., Steven Dorff, Dennis Leary, Jeremy Piven. That's it. Ugh, that cast.

That's the most 1993 cast of all time. And the- You're in a Sega Genesis and you got a 1993 blockbuster. And it's got a, the most remarkable thing about it is the soundtrack because it's like combined rap and metal before rap and metal were big things. So it was like Cypress Hill and Sonic Youth, not metal, but rap and rock. What else is on the soundtrack? Sir Mix-A-Lot and Mud Honey.

Perfect. You got chocolate in my peanut butter. in my peanut butter. Yeah. But did you like, when I was a kid and I went to like martial arts for half a year or whatever, everybody talked about how good Bloodsport was or kickbox. Which one's the one Jean-Claude Van Damme? They're both.

They both are. He's the one where he puts his- These are very similar movies. He puts his hand in glass. What is the- It's kickboxer. The kickboxer. What's the one where he's like a time cop?

That is a double impact. Oh, sure. Colon time cop. Yeah, but then I saw it and I was like, I don't like this. Well, my friends go on and on, they keep quoting it. And then I watched it and I was like, I'm glad I've seen it cause then I can go like yeah bring me Tom Powe or whatever was the big but then you got it then you saw hot shots part duh or Charlie Sheen

dips his hands in like a bunch of like ice cream toppings yeah it's like sprinkles and gummy bears and stuff great gag great gag great gag what do you what do you guys what's your feelings on the fact that they're rebooting Naked Gun with Liam Neeson? With Liam Neeson. Hmm. I'm all for it. I love the idea.

I think Liam Neeson is the perfect guy. He's like, Leslie Nielsen was a serious actor before the gun, and that was kind of, the joke, right, is he's so earnest saying this dumb shit. And like Liam Neeson is perfect, I think. And yeah, it's the director of like Popstar, right? So that's- A good pedigree.

Yeah. I don't know. Yeah, I'm stoked. Do you think they cast him because his name sounds like Leslie Nielsen? Probably. We don't have to change the poster that much. We can just change a few letters, Photoshop his face.

Boom, you save money on posters. And then can we get AJ Samson in it? The closest person to OJ Simpson. Is there someone named Banana Nicole Smith? She's another one, I think. Yeah, those movies, man, I just like I haven't seen. I guess scary movie still does that kind of like, yeah, they could gun as humor.

But they haven't put one of those out in 15 years oh but i think they're doing i think they're doing a reboot of that as well okay i mean i'm on board yeah yeah i'm on board for all of it i mean will i see it all time will tell time will tell time cop will tell oh shit um dave what's going on with you, man? Well, I don't know if you, I sort of introduced something a few weeks ago and I never paid it off. Okay.

I had like a little song I had written and then I, I mean, I sang my little song about fondue to see Low Green's, Fuck You. Oh man, I gotta go back. Fondue. Yeah. To see low greens. Fuck you. Oh, man. I got to go back. You know what? Here, here. I'll give you a bit of it. Sure. Yeah.

I see you. Boy, I see you sitting in the Alps eating bread and cheese. And I'm like fondue. If you're looking for a snack when you take off your skis. How about fondue? Do the whole song. Wow. And I say, and I had that, cause I hadn't thought of,

I had thought of a couple of lines for a song about water bottles. Jordan, what kind of water, what kind of thing are you drinking out of? Yes, this is, this is, it's, I'm holding it up here on the old Zoom. This is not a Stanley, but it is kind of the Amazon knockoff called SM,

stands for Simple Modern. And fellas, I love this cup. Yeah? Ooh, I love this cup. What's, give us a rundown. What's so good about it? Uh, you know, just less expensive than the Stanley's, keeps drinks nice and cold. I like a cold, cold drink.

I like to put ice in there. You can leave this thing in the car full of ice when you come back from whatever you were doing, still full of ice. Uh, yeah. Fun straw, a good, good, good weight, good hand feel, weight, good hand feel. I'm an SM girly, I gotta say. Okay. All right.

Because a couple months ago, people were going crazy for Stan, like it was just became a thing online that, oh yeah, by the way, some women have been collecting Stanley cups. Right. And have like giant collections. And they released a new one

and people were like lined up around the block. Right. I think maybe Starbucks puts them out too, or Starbucks has a similar kind of cup that people go crazy for. There's Cupheads out there. Yeah, so here's my spoof song. Oh, good.

About these cups. Oh shit. Sung to the tune of, tempted by Squeeze. I got a Yeti, an Algein, a Stanley and a Swell, a Thermos, Contigo, a Hydro Flask as well. I'm in the bottle section of the Target in hell. That needs work. No, it doesn't. Drinking water out of a tumbler. I'm an insulated cup lover.

What's been going on? Playing Donkey Kong with my mother. That part, you know, these are placeholder lyrics. No, doesn't need it. Yeah, they're perfect. That's it. If I was a bit of a mumbler, I would act with the Duplass brothers. They make mumble core. I wish Dumbledore was my lover.

Goes off into some unexpected directions. He goes zigzags all over the place. I mean, is it really about bottles? It goes off into some unexpected directions. Yeah, he goes zigzags all over the place. I mean, is it really about bottles? But, you know, it's about so much more. Yes, exactly. Nice work. Wow, beautiful.

That's really brilliant. It captures the moment, I think. Thank you. I'm also working on something that maybe, a song that replaces the word shoulder with choda. Oh yeah, okay. I either put your head on my choda, sunshine on my choda makes me happy. I guess I don't know what a choda is.

A taint. Is a choda not a taint? Yeah. Oh, I guess chode. Chode is, is that a wiener that's wider than it is long? Boy, yeah, this is another recurring Jordan, Jesse go thing from a couple of years ago. What I think, I think Chode is kind of has a regional,

you know, change. I think some, some, some refer to a Chode as a, you know, short fat penis, but also I think to some it is, you know, synonymous with taint. Okay. I, well, I, yeah, I, I believe the way I was raised In the church. Yeah.

Yeah, the choda is the taint. Is you spelled, how would you spell chode? C-H-O-D-E? Okay. Or C-H-O-A-D, like, you know, the road. Right, sure. I mean, I think these are all acceptable. Languages, languages malleable.

So that's one thing that's going on with me. That's huge. Dave, you don't even need a second thing. That's as big as they come. It is as big as a chode is wide. Oh man, yeah. Got a real chode there. Cause if you were somebody that didn't know the penis chode thing and somebody complimented

your chode, you'd be like, how do you even see it? How are you even seeing my chode? It's obscured by my fat penis. Move that chode so I could see the tate. Yeah. I don't think I heard the word until like Beavis and Butt-Head. Oh yeah. I don't think it was something we knew.

I knew it from alt rocker Biff Naked had a song called Chota. Oh okay. Yeah, that was where I learned it. I vaguely remember Biff Naked. I didn't know that she is it what is, is Biff Naked the artist or is Biff Naked the band? Is this a Jamiroquai? Biff Naked is the artist. Yeah, she's the artist.

And she was in Vancouver, she's kind of like Vancouver punk royalty. Ooh, okay, okay. What was her Chode song? Or Chode? Oh, Chode. Chode and it was a song about an ex-boyfriend that She was calling him a Chode. If I recall correctly. Okay, but she had you know, she was like the Betty Page hairdo and She really like really good singer, really good on stage.

But you know, there was always a part of the punk scene that was like, she's not, she's that real punk. Right, sure, sure, sure. And it was like, because she's successful. Because of her success and popularity. I'm surprised you heard of Biff Naked Jordan. I just, I like, she was big in Canada. Yeah.

And I just remember, I think in the pilot episode of the West Wing, there's like a, you know, young political, cool young political person driving around in a convertible in Washington DC, listening to Biff Naked. I, now how I, and maybe we got two different versions of that based on our regions. In my head, that's a Letters to Cleo song.

Oh. Oh. That way I remember it. I think I did clock that too, when I rewatched a little bit of West Wing, I'm like, oh, this at the time signaled young, cool person. I could be, it could be Biff Naked though. It could be, yeah, I didn't stick with the West Wing past the pilot.

I didn't watch a ton of it either. But I was like, when I did rewatch or like I tried to watch it, you know, 10 years ago maybe I'll get into the West Wing. Yeah, I had that same thing happen. I do have 500 hours I need to fill in the next few months. I believe it was, I believe it was Young Miss Naked. Young Miss Naked, just discovering the world.

And I worked on, when I was first out of film school, I worked on a music video that was her and punk royalty of Canada, DOA, were doing that. Oh, sure, yeah. Well, I mean, how did she not have punk credit after doing something with DOA? That should shut up the haters. No one's more credible than DOA.

And he, the lead singer, Joey Shithead, he's like a politician up here now. He's the, this fall, vote Shithead. I am looking on tunefind.com. So most of the music in the West Wing pilot is done by the composer W.G. Snuffy Walden. Yeah, nice. Good professional name.

But we do have a pop song, Moment of Weakness from Biff Naked. Yeah. And that was a good jam. That was a... Yeah, Right? Yeah. Yeah. And that was a good jam. That was a- Yeah, very good jam. Yeah. Anyway, so that's one thing going on with me is the possible Choda song in the future.

Yes, yeah. Yeah. Did anybody ever do baby Choda when the Mandalorian was at its peak? Any fun memes where we- But the other thing going on with me is this is something that people were doing in the peak pandemic times and I've only just gotten around to it.

I've spent the last 10 days working on my sourdough starter. I was gonna say, it's this brand related. It's positively retro, Dave. Absolutely, I'm a real basic bitch. Mm-hmm. And what, like, do you need a starter? Can you make your own starter or you need a starter from somebody else?

Both. Ah. Well, you can make your own or you can get one from someone else. Okay. And I was like, I don't know why, why I just decided because I make bread, you know, once a month I'll make some bread, but just with yeast. Sure classic bread. But now I've given I've decided to give the yeast the old yeet. Yeet that yeast.

that yeast. And so. We put the yeast in yeast. I went to a couple of websites about how to do it. Like there's so much, like I don't get the science of it. It's like, it's fermenting and then there's, it's creating sugars that it's creating, I don't know. Right. Sugars, I guess is the thing I already said.

Memories. Yeah. It's a living thing. So you basically- Man in his own image. Yeah, right, yeah, sure. I took my rib and I stirred it. So you get flour and water, and you put them in a jar or a bowl.

And then that's day one. You mix them together. And then you just leave them. You leave them. Do you leave them in room temperature or you put them in the fridge? Yeah, room temperature. Day two, more.

Give it more flour and water. Oh, but throw away half of what was from yesterday. Oh, okay. So you throw away half of what was from yesterday. Oh, okay. So you throw away half and then you add another brand new half. Yeah, well, a brand new bigger portion. Okay. There's a few websites that I went to.

I needed to settle on an amount, but, and then day three, throw away half, do more, add more, stir it in. There's also a, so the websites I went to, they both said it'll take seven days. And- Jesus. I mean, this kind of like,

this is kind of like the Genesis creation story in many ways. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, first there was the Sega Master System. Yes, and it was okay. It wasn't good. It was okay. There's some good, Alex Kidd, pretty good game.

Yeah, did it have Altered Beast or is that just that? I think it did have an Altered Beast, yeah. But probably the voiceover stuff, the rise from your grave, probably didn't make it over to the Master System. It's pretty sophisticated, yeah. But then, so- Do you want to talk about this for two hours? I could do both, yeah.

I had a both. Yeah. I had a second Genesis myself. Yeah, we had one as well. Good sister. Yeah, I didn't go deep though. We didn't have a lot of games. We had Echo. We played a lot of Echo.

That's a fun one. Love that dolphin. Anyway, day four. Yes. Well, day four. Yes. Well, you'll also start noticing it produces this brown liquid on top. And that's something called hooch. Hooch.

Which is something that indicates that you need to keep feeding it. It's hungry. Too much hooch. Okay. Does that have any relationship to like, Yeah. Bathtub liquor that they would make in the prohibition?

Absolutely it does, but I couldn't tell you how. I'm sure it's pure alcohol. Okay. Yes, yeah, okay. Now we're talking. Dave, you're not snarfin' that hooch, bro? Yeah, you're doin' shots of sourdough in the kitchen? What the hell's goin' on in there?

I'm gonna mix it with a little club soda. Yeah. It may have something to do with kombucha as well. Sure. I may have inadvertently made my own kombucha in the process. But the goal you want, apparently by day seven, this thing is going to bubble. Like it's going to be bubbling and it's going to double in size. It's a double bubble.

Okay. And so day four, not, you know, some bubbles, but not getting bigger. Day five, more of the same, throw away half, add more. Day six, throw away half, add more. Day seven, keep going. And I notice on day seven, still no bubbles. There's still no doubling in size. So I just, in earnest, I just keep doing it.

And day nine, day 10 rolls around and I think, well, this isn't working, I have to throw it away. I'm gonna give up and maybe try again later. I come downstairs the morning of the 10th day, doubled in size, so foamy, so enormous. And now it's alive. Wow. So you had to just stick with it, is is there you just had to keep going with it? Yeah And now I now I can put it in the fridge and just feed it once a week

How long till you how long to you're getting up getting a getting a loaf out of the oven? Well, that'll be tonight Jordan. Ooh I start so he apparently now, I'm used to yeast, but as we've mentioned, man, yeets yeast, yes. So that, your bread will rise right away with the instant yeast. But apparently, depending on the temperature in your home, if your bread won't rise for like between three and 12 hours.

And so I did it yesterday thinking, well, it's not, it hasn't been freezing around here. My bread will rise in like, you know, five or six hours. No, it didn't. And so overnight it rose. So it will now have risen for like, or 24 hours of rising. So it might be- Seven days rising. I mean, the

biblical, the biblical similarities are plentiful. I feel like I want to go on a scavenger hunt right now. Yeah. Who needs to drink? And so, you know, it started off smelling really bad and now it smells nice. And so I'm, you know,, I'm now dang I'm now one of these guys. Yeah, you're a guy We have a new mouth to feed in the house What so what like are you gonna have just like loaf of bread at dinner with you know, serve it with some pasta What's how are you gonna make use of the bread? question well, my children don't eat any food. They hate all food that we make,

but they like it when I make bread. So it's usually just an add-on to whatever else we're having. It's never like, it doesn't fit precisely with, a specific meal, but especially when it's hot out of the oven, ooh, nothing beats it. Yeah. Sounds luxurious. Yeah, that and hot laundry, right?

One and two, the nice warmth. Just lay in a pile of hot laundry, chompin' a loaf of bread. I don't know if it's exactly analogous, cause I wouldn't like, ooh, hot clothes out, I wanna put them on. No, but I like, I like, I like cuddling up if I just throw them on the bed.

Ooh, ee. Sure. I do kind of like throw on a hot sweatshirt. Yeah, a cool day. Yeah, for sure. You're a cat owner, Jordan. I am a cat owner, yes. Does your cat like the hot laundry? She's never loved that.

I know that's like a classic cat thing to curl up on the clean hot laundry and shed all over it as soon as it's come out of the wash. But yeah, I don't know. She's never been a laundry curler. Do you just have the one cat? Just have the one, yeah. I have not, yeah.

She's very sweet to me and certain other humans, but pretty cranky in her old age She's very sweet to me and certain other humans, but pretty cranky in her old age and I think would not tolerate another cat coming around. So yeah, every time there's an outdoor cat that comes sniffing around the glass, she'll just turn into a fucking monster, an evil sounding monster. So I'm like, I think if I were to bring in a second cat that then I don't think it

would be, I think you can introduce them gradually or whatever, but I don't want to do it. Has your cat ever been outside? She's like, uh, like a, you know, two or three apartments ago, gotten out. Um, she's not been out in a while. Um, and she just kind of, she didn't really go anywhere. She kind of just she didn't really go anywhere.

She kind of just stayed around the apartment building. But yeah, she's an indoor cat and her outside times have been only a few. I lived with roommates at a very, very cheap place. That's where I lived there, but they had cats. And one time the cats got out and I didn't know, like I don't know that there's two different types of cats. I assumed all cats were indoor cats

and that hung around the building. So they ran out, I panicked. And then I called my roommate. He's like, no, they just walk around the neighborhood then they'll just come in with dinner or whatever, bring in a dead crow, which they did once and dropped it on the floor. Whoa.

Yeah. Wow. That's the floor. Oh! Yeah. Wow. That's a big, fierce bird. Yeah. Way to go, cats. It's also like, just mythical, you know what I mean? Like, as you look like a crow, really. Someone dropped a dead crow on your...

Yeah. Yeah, like that's... We've angered Odin. He will surely be coming for one of his ravens. Yeah. Oh, the Capra of the Dead Crow. And surely this is a good harbinger. Sure.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's good and bad omens. Surely our crops will be fine this year. It portends well for our crops. Anyway, in the weeks to come, get used to me being Mr. Sourdough. I mean, you know one of these days I'm just going to empty out the loaf and fill it with the spinach dip.

Oh yeah, that's going to be a day. That's going to be a day. Maybe I could be the bread bowl guy. I could do chilies. Which have all of your meals out of bread bowls. Yeah, that's true. What you could do is you could make a bread bowl and have the top sandwich inside a bread bowl.

A pizza in a bread bowl. When pizza's in a bread bowl. Graham, you were saying? You could fill it with chili or whatever the food of choice, put the kind of lid back on it and then trick your kids into eating other things. They'll be like, oh, yum bread. And then ha ha, spinach.

No, they're pretty like, they get an idea in their head that they're like, that they like something. And then one of my daughters just wants couscous every meal. Really? Huh. She tried it in school and I was like, I love couscous, let's have couscous.

And so we just, you know, whatever we make. It's not a bad thing to have a speedier one thing. I mean, I didn't try couscous till I was like 25. So, yeah. For her. Fun to say, fun to eat. What other food like phases have they been through? What are the other cush? She's in a she's at now in a I hate pizza phase, which is like weird pizza. Come on. She's just rebelling

That's what that is. Yeah, dad likes pizza. I hate it She's testing back I'm not gonna become my father some pizza lover Always cutting a slice, fucking sheep. Yeah, she'll just like decide, oh yeah, I want oatmeal every morning for breakfast. Oh, okay. Sometimes I will have oatmeal and then I'll be like, why am I not doing this every day? So delicious, so much. What, you put some brown sugar on it?

You know I do it, or a little bit of maple syrup. Nice. Yeah. You're gonna or a little bit of maple syrup. Nice, yeah. You're gonna say a little bit of mayonnaise. A little bit of mayonnaise, a little bit of Hellmann's. Mm-hmm. I just mix it right in, I don't put it on top. Drop in some deli meat. Yeah.

Stir it, a little roast beef. You got yourself a breakfast. Anyway, I'm a sourdough guy. Yeah. What's going on with you, Graham? This past weekend, I went to Saskatchewan, Canada. Ooh, what? Yep, I went to Saskatchewan,

more specifically Regina, Saskatchewan, for to- Jordan, do you know where that is? I've heard the name, I've enjoyed the name. But no, I don't think I could point to it on a Canada map. Kind of right smack in the middle. Yeah. Okay, sure. Yeah, and it's-

North of like, I don't know, the Dakota or something? Yeah. All right, yeah, I can picture it. And it's, you know, big farm country, lots of wheat producers and mustard, you know, mustard, most of the world's mustard is grown there in Saskatchewan. Really? Yeah. I didn't know that. And they had me out for a corporate

event for a fundraiser. It was put on by the Saskatchewan Rough Riders, who are a CFL team, a Canadian football league team. And it's fun for an outsider to know that at one point, in a very small league, a league of about eight or nine teams. Eight teams at the time. Eight teams at the time. Two of them were called the Rough Riders. Wait, how did that happen? I don't know, it was just such a perfect name.

And I think of Rough Rider as so connected to Teddy Roosevelt, which seems maybe a little too American for it, but maybe there were other Rough Riders. It was, it was the similar thing. It was like, I don't think it was Teddy Roosevelt specifically, but it was, yeah, that kind of country western horse. Yeah. So they're the only Rough Riders left anymore.

Yeah, there used to be the Ottawa rough riders as well. And one of the teams had a space between rough and riders and the other didn't. And that was the difference. Yeah, yeah. And in certain parts of the country, it depends on where you go. The CFL is very popular and it couldn't be more popular in Saskatchewan. Like that is their team. They don't have an NHL team.

Like the Rough Riders are Saskatchewan. Every game sells out. Uh, I guess, oh, I guess I, I would love a clarification. Are we talking, are we talking football or American football? American football. Okay. Canadian football. Canadian football because there's a couple of American Canadian football.

Yeah. Gridiron football. Gotcha. Okay. Sure. a couple of different rules. American Canadian football. Yeah. Yeah, gridiron football. Gotcha, okay, sure. With the helmets and the shoulder pads. I know this place. And it's a place either very young players spend a couple of years and then go to the States or vice versa. Some people that have been played in the States come up and finish their career with the CFL.

Do they do a thing where like the mascot's a dog and he's like, I'm the rough writer? I wonder what their mascot is. They should do that rough writer thing I thought of. Yeah. I think every few years they should have an Archie writer come up and come up with some mascot. That is an Archie comics quality pun. We gotta get the best. We need a putty mascot. Give me some putty from Archie. Money's no object. So yeah, I was there for their annual fundraiser dinner for their like

youth outreach program I think okay yeah love the could I interrupt I have looked up these yes I was hoping that you was mascot yeah is it an eagle it is a gopher it's go for named gainer any are like maybe you gain yards and I think that's probably... Well, maybe. I guess I think of a gainer as like a dive. But anyway. Yeah, Gainer the Gopher.

Big, yeah, so big deal. Big, as big as they come. And so this was the, yeah, the annual fundraiser dinner. And... Oh, Graham, can I interrupt one more time? Yes, yes, yes, please. In 2006, the Calgary Stampeters officially barred Gaynor from appearing on field during the West Division Semifinal,

arguing that it would attract attention away from their own mascot, Ralph the dog. Oh, Ralph the dog, that's right. Yeah, yeah, it used to be a horse. It used to be a horse wearing a cowboy hat. But not Ruff the dog, the rough rider. I mean, it's right there. It is right there.

It's right there, I don't know. But this is held in a hotel ballroom and there's videos of the organization and there was another guy on the show that went up in the first half of the show and I went up in the second half of the show. And the guy went up in the first half of the show and I went up in the second half of the show and the guy who was in the first half of the show was like the exact like perfect guy to be doing this fundraiser from Saskatchewan. He like knows a bunch of the rough riders he works a go for a go for a he's a he's a youth outreach guy. Like so he's like every dimension of this is perfect for him. And I went in like kind of as the show started and he was destroying

like people were falling out of their seats. They thought this guy was like the funniest, funniest guy. And he was funny, but he was doing like jokes about rednecks and growing up on a farm and all this kind of stuff. So people were losing their minds. And then I was like, oh, they're going to hate me. Like I don't have anything about football. I don't know.

The only rednecks jokes you have are about the band that did Cotton Eye Joe. Yeah, and I go up and I hum a few bars and they go, oh, I know where this is going. Yeah, so they absolutely loved him. And then it was one of those things where sometimes after a show, like stand-ups will want to stand next to the exit door to receive accolades.

I personally hate the idea of doing this, but there's no green room at a hotel ballroom event. So your choices are limited. And man oh man, they would come up to him and just heap praise on him. Holy cow, they love this guy. And then would kind of look my way and then walk away. So you didn't say how your set went,

you just- It went fine. It went fine, but nothing like, like he should have been the closing guy. There's no doubt about it. And it has to be corporate clean, but I think that's one of those things where the organizers have to say it

to make sure they're not liable for somebody that goes up and humps the stool for their closer. Did you get to hang out at the hotel bar? There was a bar set up for this event, but I don't think they had like an official hotel or they had a restaurant called Fibber McGee's. Now that's a hotel restaurant name. Yeah, I had the breakfast there. It was pretty bad.

It was pretty bad. Yeah, breakfast buffet. I do like, I like hanging out in a hotel bar. I would eat. Oh, me too. I would be excited if I got to do a hotel based events. I'm like, I'm gonna head to that bar afterwards. The only problem with doing a show in a hotel is that they don't, they can't turn the lights off.

They can only dim the lights. So you can see all the way to the back of the room. You can see every person sitting in the audience. I'm sure. And yeah, I could tell like scanning the room, I was like, these guys like the first guy better. I think. Ha, ha, ha.

It was like immediately apparent who was going to do better. Yes. Yeah. As soon as they hit the stage, I was like, this guy should have gone second. This is this. And he was like, he's a really nice guy, but he like he works locally. So it's just like he had every reference down. And I tried to do one local joke and they didn't like it at all. No, it was also on 420. So this was this.

I tried to make a 420 everybody. The Roughriders color is green. So I tried to make this is the biggest gathering of green something outside of 420. They didn't like it. And we don't like that. We would. We don't even know what you're talking about. Yeah, this is not corporate clean. We like corporate clean comedy here.

And then I told I saw like I was walking around and I saw Lamborghini driving around, which to me doesn't fit with the kind of country, Western prairie farmer. And I talked about it on stage and people acted like that's a common sight or something. Like they didn't respond to the fact that I was like, you understand this is out of place in your city, right? You do understand why that's a funny thing to have seen in Virginas' Gatwin? Nope. Nope. They weren't having any of it. We don't think anything's funny about that. Next joke, please! You should have gone first. Regina's quite small as a city, and as they were coming out and keeping praise

on the other guy on the show, almost every one of them was like, yeah, I used to be from a small town. I was like, earth to you guys, you're still in a small town. I moved to the big city, the big mustard city. Yeah. Lamborghinis on every quarter. We're the mustard industry, fuels and yeah. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I'm gonna say we're the mustard industry fuels industry. I'm like, I don't have enough mustard stuff to finish this bit. Yeah, we're the topping of society or there you spread us on your sandwich.

But yeah, this was a thing that then this happens in small town. Sometimes when you do a show and you say you're from a big city comparative to Regina, people just come up and start saying why they wouldn't live in a big city. Jeez. And it's like, didn't ask, don't care. And like just- I'm not trying to make you. Yeah, at no point to, I don't want you to move there.

It's very expensive to live in. Are they honest or are they like, yeah, I wouldn't like living in a big city because I'm in. Are they honest? Are they like, yeah, I wouldn't like living in a big city because I'm racist. Yeah. It doesn't float as well there. Man, this is, I mean, yes.

When you're from LA and you go somewhere else, people love to come up to you and tell you why they would never go to LA, why their one trip to LA was terrible or what they've heard about LA. It's always pretty brutal. why their one trip to LA was terrible or what they've heard about LA. It's always pretty brutal. Is it like, is there a common through line to what they say, I would never go to LA like

because of earthquakes or because of congestion or? Yeah, yeah. Definitely like, you know, the, yeah, like, yes, maybe not liking unhoused people being around. Everybody maybe thinks that it's, you know, that that's worse than it actually is. Um, uh, yeah. Uh, people don't read here. There's a lot of that. Right.

I couldn't be around so many people who don't read. I could never live in a place where no one reads. Uh, it's That's wild. And yeah, it is always unprompted, too. I'm never like coming up to people and going like, you got to move to LA. You got to come. You got to pack up.

Move. Here's why I would never do it. It's always like weird and rude. And it's also that same type of thing where you said like nobody reads in LA. It's always a thing that they've decided is a thing that's in your city. Because one was like, I couldn't do a four hour commute every day. I was like, that's not a thing that anybody in the city does.

Maybe if you're a pilot, maybe you do that. Oh yeah, my one trip to LA was terrifying. There was a gigantic mouse in a bow tie. I had to wait in long lines for churros. Yeah. King Kong shook my tram. Jaws just hopped out of the water. There's Jaws everywhere.

There's Jaws everywhere. They have mechanical jaws. Uh huh. Yeah. So anyways, I got a lot of those comments and then a very, oh, like a couple of the guys that were there were players and you only ever see players with other players on the, on the field. So you have no measurement for how big these dudes are. They're gigantic. They're gigantic, like cartoonish. Yeah. You know, little Lada would be a good example of how big.

A couple of a bunch of baby Hueys. Yes, exactly. Picking our Harvey Comics characters. Shaking their hand was just like, you saw your hand disappear into their hand. Wow. And then a really big guy came out and he was the president of the Rough Riders and he had like a championship ring on. Oh my gosh. He seemed to be okay with what I did. Oh good.

Yeah, I feel like he maybe had been to a big city before so he's like, I get this guy. Oh my gosh. He seemed to be okay with what I did. Oh good. Yeah. I feel like he maybe had been to a big city before, so he's like, I get this guy. But yeah, that was my exciting trip to Regina, Saskatchewan. It was on 420. I don't know if you saw what happened on 420 here. Oh, the cops? Is that? Well, they do a, every year there's a giant smokeout here,

even though it's legal now. There's a big protest because I guess it's not legal enough. This could be more illegal. They should give it to me for free. And it used to be the art gallery. And then they started, they moved it to this giant park by the beach. And for the last like 10 years, it's been there

and the city's like, we can't stop them. We don't know how to stop this gathering from happening. And it destroys the field every time. And this year they just put up a fence and no, everyone was like, okay, well, no, no, no gathering, I guess. That's so people would be like back in like pre before it being legal, would people like get arrested at that? Would they? No, they would get stuff confiscated. That was the big yeah. And that happened this year because people were like trying to sell stuff. Right. Yeah.

But there was, yeah, it was never, I think even before it was legalized, this was like the city in Canada where it was basically legal anyway. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like, speaking of smoking stuff, like in Vancouver, people don't smoke cigarettes a lot here. You just don't see it on the street very often. But then you go to small towns and like, man, people smoke like crazy in a small town. I forgot that, you know, smoking cigarettes was that could be like a thing that you do during a night out or whatever. Is it the same in LA?

Do you ever see people smoking? Boy, hardly ever. Yeah. I think if you're like at a, you know, if you're going to see like live music, there will always be a little smoking patio. Yeah. And that you'll see a couple, and we all know this about smokers. They love their live music.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. But yeah. All of them are social smokers. Yeah. Yeah. And I, you know, and if I, you know, in the rare occasion that I will have a cigarette, it's, it's two or three times a year.

And it's always or three times a year and it's always kind of in that context. It's always like seeing some live music, like, I'm gonna go hang out on the smoker patio, bum a cig, it's kind of fun. Yeah, might as well you're there anyways. Might as well. Yeah, maybe that's everybody on the smoking patio

is just people who do it two or three times a year. But yeah, no, I do not see a lot of cigarettes smoking in LA. No, but then I like, I- No reading either. No one's ever reading and smoking. I want to read and smoke. I gotta be around readers.

I could never live anywhere. People aren't reading constantly. Yeah, yeah. Or like the lineups at an ATM are atrocious in a big city. Sure. Everybody's always paying cash for stuff. Yeah. Well, do you guys want to move on to some over-herds?

Ooh, that'd be fun. Hi, this is Biz, and this is the final season of One Bad Mother, a comedy podcast about parenting. This is going to be a year of celebrating all that makes this podcast and this community magical. I'm so glad that I found your podcast. I just cannot thank you enough for just being the voice of reason as I'm trying to figure all of this out. Thank you and cheers to your incredible show and the vision you have to provide this space for all of us.

This is still a show about life after giving life. And yes, there will be swears. You can find us on MaximumFun.org. And as always, you are doing a great job. Alright class, tomorrow's exam will cover the science of perfect pitch, the history of pride flags and speed running video games. Any questions? Ah, yes, you in the back.

Uh, what is this? It's the podcast, Let's Learn Everything. Where we learn about science and a bit of everything else. My name's Tom, I study cognitive and computer science, but I'll also be your teacher for intermediate emojis. My name's Caroline, and I did my masters in biodiversity conservation, and I'll be teaching you intro

to things the British Museum stole. My name's Ella, I did a PhD in biodiversity conservation. And I'll be teaching you intro to things the British Museum stole. My name's Ella. I did a PhD in stem cell biology. So obviously I'll be teaching you the history of fan fiction. Class meets every other Thursday on Maximum Fun. So do I still get credit for this? No. Obviously not. No.

It's a podcast. Overheard. Overheard. When you hear it, we want to hear it. Don't keep it to yourself. That's rude. Share it. And if you want to share it with us, you can send it into sbyatmaximumfun.org. Jordan, we like to start with the guest. Do you have an overheard? Yeah, this is something I heard when someone was saying it to me.

Perfect. I think that counts, right? It does. And listen, not to bring it back to my work in the world of comic books, but I'm going to do it. I was at a comic book store here in LA called Neil Adams' Krusty Bunker. Nice. Good name.

Great comic book store name. That bunker, she's a crusty. Uh, and I was shopping for comics and if I see something I worked on, I'll, I'll, you know, I like to say, Hey, if you want me to sign these, I, you know, I love to support a local business. Does anyone ever say no?

You know, once in a while they will say our customers prefer a clean copy. Okay. Okay. And, uh, yeah, I'm them. Fair enough. I, the customer is always right. Uh, usually the people are pretty nice about it

or annoyed that they have to find a pen. It's one of those two things. What if it's something, if you're like, well, you're not the only, there's two names on the cover of this and we're only gonna get one signature? Sure, yeah. Yeah, I'll sign both names.

Right, yeah. Can you get bones over here? Sure. I'll just sign Jughead too. Wow, Jughead signed this. He was here? Yeah, Jughead shops here. He thought it was a burger restaurant.

So I was at the Krusty Bunker buying some comics, saw one of the Archies that I had worked on. They were very nice about it. I was the nice sign that they're Archies. There's one other guy in the store and he comes up to me and he's like, are you Scott Koblish? Scott Koblish, great comics artist. I said, no, I'm Jordan. I said, no, I'm Jordan Morris.

And he's like, I met Scott Koblish's wife last night and just walks off. That was my big in. Yeah. I still can't figure out what was about to go on. I guess you should say, I met your wife last night. That's a good way to get punched in the face. Yeah, I met your wife, buddy.

I met her real good. I met her all night long. I met your wife, buddy. I met her real good. I met her all night long. I met your wife in a sleazy motel. Yeah, but he's, I guess he was like, oh, I'm gonna stoke out Scott Koblish by saying I met his wife. But then when I wasn't him, he's like, well, I still gotta use this wife thing.

Big week for me. Yeah. So yeah, that was mine. It. Big week for me. Yeah. So yeah, that was mine. It was pretty baffling. I love it. But hey, if you want a signed copy of Archie, head on over to the Krusty Bunker. Yeah. If you want it signed by Scott Koblisch.

Oh, I thought you were Scott Koblisch because your signature is so messy. I couldn't read George and Morris. Yeah, Scott Koblisch, famously messy signature. All the comics fans know. I just looked at your signature and I was just trying to make it out. Is it Jor-f-in Morton? Yes. Well, Jordan, I met your wife last night.

He just says it hoping. He's hoping that he connects on it. Right. Jokes on him. I have no wife. Ha ha, in his face. Dave, do you have an overheard? Yeah. So last week I accompanied my daughter's class

on a field trip. Fun. And they went up a mountain, Grouse Mountain. You take a gondola up the mountain. And at the start of the field trip, the guide was like, okay, you're all gonna get a ticket. You're gonna have it scanned. And then after it's scanned, you give it back to me

because I need to hold onto these tickets because you need them to get back down the mountain. And then after you go back down the mountain, I'm going to give you your ticket back and you can keep it as a keepsake. And yeah, and so at the, so we went up, did the field trip, came back down the mountain, all the kids got there, were holding onto their tickets. And then some kids were like trading them because, you know, they had a little graphic on them. One has bear one has some people ziplining um and then so kids were trading them one kid asked me for mine he's like do you want are you going to keep yours and i was like no you can have it and uh and then

later this other kid had three tickets and another kid said hey how did you end up with three tickets and another kid said, hey, how did you end up with three tickets? And the kid goes, I'm doing business. Ah, you want tickets? I got tickets. They fell off a truck, yeah. Yeah, it's not personal, it's just ticket business. I'm doing business over here. I love how quickly kids can come up with basically gambling. They could just invent gambling for themselves.

I also love how quickly the guides can come up with a souvenir out of garbage. Here, throw these away when you get home. Yeah, I think when I was a kid, the thing that a lot of people kept, a lot of people on their jackets were ski tags. Oh yeah. Ski tags were a big, you'd have a box of ski tags when you were a kid. Yeah, that was cool technology, the weird like wire triangle that you hang from your zipper and then you stick to both sides of it.

A little bit of a status symbol too if you show up, like, oh, I forgot to take this off, I'm always skiing. I'm always skiing. Like having the, it's like accidentally having the foreign money in your wallet. Oh my God, I'm just, I love travel. What is this, whatever Portuguese people use that, I guess a euro? Yeah, it's probably a euro. Probably a euro. I would say though.

Remember when you needed to know all this? You've never needed to know other currencies. But then try and name one, like outside of the British. The front, there'd be Franks. Franks, yeah. You've got pesos pesos, you got lira, you've got, who are the drachma? Is that Greece? What does Greece have?

That's somebody. That's somebody, there were rubles, of course. Rubles, yes, yeah. Deutschmarks. Camelbucks. Yeah, camelbucks. There's those in Florida, I don't know. Chuck E. Cheese tokens.

Chuck E. Cheese, yes. Chuck E. Cheese tokens. Chuck E. Cheese, yes. Chuck E. Cheese tickets. That would be a very fun thing to have fall out of your wallet is some Chuck E. Cheese coins and some tickets. I can't believe I'm always going to Chuck E. Cheese. Oh. You know, I could have traded this in

for a little plastic ball and cupcake. Mm-hmm. I could have gotten tootsie rolls for this, but I'm saving up. I'm saving up for the scooter. My overheard comes courtesy of, I was at the breakfast buffet at the Ramada, downtown Regina, Saskatchewan.

Okay. And I just heard a woman, she was responding to something, obviously a prompt, something about Brexit. And she said, oh, Brexit, horrible thing, just horrid. Horrid. To the second, like she was looking for another word. She's like, no, it was horrid, horrid is the word.

Now was she there, did she, I think she was at a Brexit buffet? Is that worth anything? Complimentary at every Ramada where every Ramada stay. Now we also have overheard sent in by listeners all over the place. If you want to send one in, send it in to sbyatmaximumfun.org. This is Jessica from the East Kootenays. I was at the pool swimming laps.

I had gotten out because there was a school group about to go in. I overheard the teacher say to a little boy, hey, did you fart? And the boy said, no. Then the boy whispered to another boy, you can fart at the pool, you can fart anywhere. Ah.

Doesn't matter what she says, man. It's legal. You can do whatever you want. But the teacher's like, did you fart? So what if I did? Yeah, exactly. What are you gonna do about it? Put me in fart jail? It's actually none of your business. Yeah, I know, teacher. It's natural. Don't shame this kid. Don't make this

kid confess to a fart in front of all his friends. Well, in my day, you couldn't wait to confess to a fart. Yeah, sure. I saw a news story, I'm thinking about this because you can't control it. I guess you could control what your body creates. Yes. But I saw a news story about a guy in Belgium

who got a drunk driving conviction overturned because his body produces alcohol. Wow. So he blew into a breathalyzer and now he's a sourdough start. Wow. He's creating his own hooch. I love that.

Presumably. Oh man, that's like an X-Men. Yeah, it is like a mutation. Yeah, that would be a good X-Men. Just somebody who can instantly get you drunk. He's always just a little buzzed, going, just walking around. He's not fucked up, but he's having a good time.

I wonder if you could, like, should he be able to drive? Probably not. Is he getting drunk off himself? Right. And why is he always so happy and off balance? What the hell's wrong with this guy? Well, I mean, Jordan's got terrible balance as well. I have a lesson, I'm,

my balance gets better when I'm drinking. You just see me walk that balance beam after a couple of margs, flipping around like Mary Lou Retton. She used to drink before she would go out there. Oh yeah, Mary Lou Retton was fucked up. Just to calm her nerves. Right, yeah.

A little Boilermaker before you go out there. Yeah, just a little Boilermaker before the Florida team. This next one comes from Scott, now living in Copenhagen, but this was in Virginia, USA. I was getting my kids settled at a table there in a cracker barrel, which I think is a is that a buffet restaurant? I don't think I've ever. Southern home cooking restaurants.

Oh, yeah. Chicken fried steak. Good place for chicken. Oh, right. Yes. Okay. Yeah. I was getting my kids settled at our table while a woman behind me was telling an energetic story about her pet. She ended by saying, so anyway, my dog got mange, but I didn't get mange. And she was talking to a young waitress who was waiting to take her order Mange exactly isn't something to do with fur. Is it it's it's

It's the source of mangy. I know that yeah, you're a mangy mutt, right? It's a skin disease that affects mammals caused by microscopic mites that burrow into the skin Oh, I guess if it's mammals, we could all get mange. We could all get mange. Yeah, I don't wanna get mange right now. Shit. Oh, fuck, I gotta go, you guys. I gotta go to the vet.

I do use head and shoulders anti-mange. Right. Anti-mange formula. This last one comes from Alex from Austin. I was in line at the post office and an older woman in front of me asked, was asked by the clerk if her package included any hazardous or flammable items. She replied, well, I'm not sure. They're pistachios.

They're pistachios. Sorry, I'm rude to that. But maybe they are dangerous and pistachio. I have no idea. Yeah. You know, pistachios, they could catch fire, I guess, if you were roasting them. You could attract rats, you know, that could be a choke. It could be a safety header. You could choke. Absolutely. These are things to consider when bringing. Do you people bring pistachios on a plane? I feel like you got

a lot of shells to get rid of. Yeah, maybe. They bring snakes on a plane. Sure. Pistachios, you can buy them shell-less though. You can? Oh yeah? I could never go to a big city. They have shell-less pistachios there. Oh yeah. It's unnatural. Sure.

I remember when I was a kid, they used to be like red. Like people would eat pistachios and their fingers and lips would be all. I think that's a Mandela thing, Dave. I don't think there were would eat pistachios and their fingers and lips would be all. I think that's a Mandela thing, Dave. I don't think there were ever red pistachios. No, no, no, and Sinbad would eat them as he was this genie. I don't know, Dave.

No, it's true. Sounds like you're from some other dimension and have recently crossed over. No, the Berenstein bears were eating them. In addition to over-hearts that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us, our phone number is 1-844-779-7631. That's one. Ugh.

Spy pod. One, like these people have. Hi, Dave and Graham. My name is Linda, and I'm calling in with an overheard. I am a teacher librarian at an elementary school and I was working with a class of kindergarten students today and I was reading them a story and I look over and I saw a little boy

was taking a bandaid off his finger and sort of watching him and reading and then I look away and I'm reading and I look back and I see stretching it out to this really thin, thin piece of the Band-Aid. And I think to myself, oh, when I finish the story, I'll ask him to throw it in the garbage. And then I finish the story and I look over and he's crying. And I said, oh, what's wrong? And he said, I was flossing my teeth with a Band-Aid and now there's Band-Aid stuck between my

teeth. Thanks. Have a good day. Bye. Wow. Kids are gross. Kids are gross, and that's just like a trouble that only a kid could get into. Yeah. Yeah. Sounds like a little stinker to me. Yeah, I mean, what else are you gonna do with a stretched out, you know,

I try to floss with a yo-yo if I can get my hands on it. Yeah. Yeah, I wondered like, yeah, what came first? Or did he, did it occur to him just as he was doing, oh, I stretched this out and now it's floss. Or was he like, I got something in my teeth. What can I use? Right, yeah. Right, yeah.

How do I MacGyver this situation? I'll take this disgusting bandage off my finger. I, you know, we started this episode with, I had just finished a bowl of peanut butter noodles, and the whole show up until about one minute ago, I had something stuck in my teeth, and I got it out, sesame seed. Hey!

Nice. As we were listening to the floss call? Well, a little earlier. Wow, what a fun coincidence. But you really, you played those cards close to the chess, because we didn't. I never would have known, I never would have known. Yeah, yeah, well, you know what?

Flossing's great and everything, but nothing beats the satisfaction of just getting it out with your tongue. It's true, it's true, yeah. My doctor recommends I floss every day or just try to get it all out with my tongue. Just get in there with your tongue. Four out of five dentists recommend getting in there with your tongue. Four out of five dentists recommend

getting in there with the tongue. Yeah. Here's your next phone call. Hey, Dave, Graham, and possible guests. This is Jason from Baltimore. My ground level apartment is between a popular bar and a university, and I hear some really funny things from students leaving late night to stumble back home.

The other night, two girls were walking by my window and one goes, oh my God, I night to stumble back home. The other night two girls were walking by my window and one goes, Oh my god, I have to poop so bad. And the other one replies, Oh, I've had to poop since like freshman year. Okay, off I go. I think I'm gonna do it as my major. I'm gonna do a thesis on it. Saving up my poop. My senior project. I'm just going to take a huge dump. And write about it. Check this out. Diploma please.

Honestly, with the state of education? Yeah, kids can major in anything these days. Paying 60,000 bucks a year for my kid to shit at school. And learn a trade. Am I right? Yeah. You can't get constipated at home with the hell. Yeah.

Go to a community college shit there. Yeah. Save us some money. I haven't shit since of my practicum. Yeah. I go to a trade school. I wear a big welder's mask in the bathroom. The good thing about that welder's mask, you can bring it to a rage room.

There you go. Yeah. Oh shit. Yeah. You can rage in it. You can play paintball in it. A lot of uses for that thing. No, does anybody paintball anymore or is that a real fringe thing now?

Because I feel like every birthday when I was a teenager was paintball. Where would it be, like a big suburban warehouse? The one we did was outdoor, but yes. Oh no, actually I did one indoor as well and the floors are so slippery, it's not very well thought out as far as things go. Yeah, because I feel like you'd need a big space. You need a big space and you need people who are fine

with getting welts all over their body. I think it's still happening because if it's outdoors, but I think all the indoor laser tags have all been replaced by escape rooms and VR things. Yeah, sure, sure, sure. In my day. Laser tags have all been replaced by escape rooms and VR things. Yeah. Sure, sure, sure. In my day. Yeah, I think you'll always have like dirt bag

13 year olds who want to paint ball and then like, you know, gun nutty adults who are fine shooting 13 year olds. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Getting together with your old war buddies. Sure. All right, if you get killed by this 13 year old, you're peeling potatoes.

And your final phone call. Hey, Dave Graham and delightful guests. This is Matt from NYAC, New York, calling in with an overheard. I was going out to dinner recently and there was a board outside the restaurant with specials a family in front of me the 12 year old kid was reading the specials and he said mom seven dollar margaritas you can have four no freaking way thanks guys my $28 for your margarita bucks I saw in your wallet you have exactly 28 bucks well no mom should only wallet, you have exactly 28 bucks. Well, no, mom should only have three

and then leave a little bit for tipping. Yeah, right, sure, sure, sure. Mom will just have three margaritas, please. Put the $28 on the table, three margaritas, please. And a chocolate milk for the boy. That's right. He's the one who discovered this place by looking at your sign.

Sure. Mom, mom, you're a lush. Hey, you got $28. Mom, you didn't get so fucked up here. And you can let me drive home. Yeah. Yeah, perfect. I wonder if that Belgian guy's body produces

like a specific alcohol. Oh yeah. Or if it's just like. It's like a smooth gin. Something like that. Yeah. Is it kind of a human hooch? Or is there like, could he package it as the world's like first human alcohol?

Right. Like just for like carnivores. Yeah, yeah. And just like people who, who they've done it all alcohol-wise. Oh yeah, like a weird cannibal who's looking to eat somebody on Craig's list. Yeah, an alcoholic cannibal.

Yeah, an alcoholic cannibal. You can really taste the man. Well, that brings us to the end of this episode. Jordan, tell us again about your book that's coming out. When is it coming out? What date? Yeah, it'll be out July 16th. So you can grab it from your favorite bookstore then.

But if it sounds cool to you, why not pre-order it? Pre-orders are very helpful for books. So if it sounds like a cool concept, you can go to bit.ly slash youth group book, bit.ly slash youth group book. You can see Bowen's gorgeous cover. You can you can see a couple of the first pages and get all those pre-order links there. So yeah, it really helps out. So if you're listening to this before July 16th, maybe consider giving it a pre-order. And if it's after July 16th, head over to anywhere you would get a book

and ask for a youth group. Okay. And it's where we're talking. This is a teen, teenage readership. It is a YA book. So might make great gift for the teen in your life. But yeah, hopefully all readers of all sorts can enjoy it. Yeah, it's got, it's got Buffy, the vampire slayer vibes. It's got Sean of the dead vibes. So if you like spooky, spooky, funny stuff,

I think you'll like our book. Okay. Get out there. Pre-order that book, but don't have three margaritas. Save that $28 pre-order that book. Yeah. You can buy one and a half youth groups for 20 for the price of just three margaritas You can buy one and a half youth groups That becomes the measurement that everybody says in commercials for just three margaritas a day you can You can send three margaritas to a child who is not fucked up to a child looking for a fresh buzz

fucked up to a child looking for a fresh buzz. Well, thank you so much for being our guest. Oh gosh, thank you so much. You guys are the funniest. Thank you so much for having me. And thank you, everybody out there for listening. Make sure to get on that pre-order. And oh, if you want to see a comedy show, every Thursday I'm doing a show now, Laugh Gallery at the Little Mountain Gallery, which is 110 Water Street every Thursday at 8pm.

And thank you for listening to the show. We'll be back next week, we promise. And when you come back, come back for another network of artist-owned shows, supported directly by you.