Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 848 - Emily Heller

Episode Date: June 18, 2024

Comedian Emily Heller returns to talk Jeopardy, baseball, and Duolingo.

Hi, he's Dave Schumke. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 848 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark. With me as always is a man who, just like me, is thrilled that summer is just on the horizon, Mr. Dave Schumpke.

Graham, I was going to say, I hate to tell you that it's right here, but it's not. I guess at the time of this release, we're still days away. I guess I'm decorating the maypole. I'm, I don't know, putting flowers on a Swedish woman's head. Yes, you've also, you've been applying sunscreen the whole time that we're talking. You're making sure you get all the spot.

No, you don't like sunscreen. You're- Who would like sunscreen? Oh, they couldn't be more wrong. I love it. I love having it on my body. I love the smell. I'll do it if I'm like,. Oh, they couldn't be more wrong. I love it. I love having it on my body. I love the smell.

I'll do it if I'm like, if I have to, if I know I'm gonna be somewhere in it, especially if clothes are being removed, but no, I don't like it. And you, you just, you walk around shirtless a lot. So you're not worried about getting a farmer tan or anything like that. You get a good overall bronzing.

Yeah, I walk around shirtless a lot. I do, I'll be honest, I put sunscreen on my nipples. Just to even it out, because they're my nipples already very tan. Huh? Okay, all right. Our guest today, returning guest here to the podcast. She is one half of a brand new podcast

called What Is a Jeopardy? podcast. One of our faves, it's Emily Heller. Hello, Emily. Hi guys, thank you for having me. I just wanted to say that if you use the Apple weather app, it will tell you whether you need to wear sunscreen. Oh shit, okay.

Scroll down to the UV index. That'll tell you what's what. It'll be like, wear sun protection after 10 a.m. or like, right, you know, that kind of thing. You're in a land of perpetual sun, so you doing sunscreen on the rig or is this just hats? What are you doing? I do it on the rig, but sometimes I'm like, well, I'm not going outside after 10 a.m. Right. I can get away without it, you know, I personally probably should still wear it at all times. Is there like a, do you still need sunscreen

from like, I don't know, November to March? I mean, I'd have to look at the app and tell you. Oh sure, yeah, okay. Let me just quickly time travel to the past or the future either way. I think you do, I think you're supposed to wear it year round, because it's still sun. But I think we associate it so much with summertime that we're like, I'm not putting on sunscreen.

It's the winter. Fuck that. But yeah, it's also like mosquito repellent. It's like we're back in mosquito season down here and it's like, oh man, it's a whole other thing I have to like slather on. It's not fun. What do you do, the off? What is your, what's your brand? I'm just like whatever is the most poisonous. It's gotta have

DEET. Yeah I use Sawyer. Oh wait I have some here I can hold it up. Oh and that does that looks like industrial. Hicaridin insect repellent. This is a lotion. I have some sprays as well. But it doesn't have like anything on the logo to jazz it up or anything. It just looks like... No, just like it has like a little sort of drawing of a mosquito that looks sort of like kind of it's designed by the military industrial complex to be like the enemy target has been acquired. Emily, remind me where you're from originally. So I'm from the Bay Area. So I'm from California. Which is why I'm so cool.

Is there a mosquito, did you grow up with mosquitoes around? Or is this a new thing? There's like a new thing happening in LA. Like it's in the last 10 years or something, like LA used to not have mosquitoes. Yeah, that's the best. And I think we had mosquitoes growing up, but like there's like a new invasive species, the like Egypti, something.

They're ankle biters. Those are little kids. Yeah, they're like rugrats, I know what you mean. Yes. And they are doing a new thing where they are releasing a bunch of sterilized ones to try and like curb the population. And they're like neon. Really?

Yeah. So they're like, if you see any neon mosquitoes, don't kill them. They need to go out and have sex. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. We need them out there fucking. Should we get to know us? Yeah. Get to know us. I love that as an initiative. I'd love to be a scientist, the scientists,

for us to come up with that plan. It's a known strategy. It's been happening for a while. I'm glad. It's a known strategy. It's been happening for a while. I'm glad that it's happening here finally. In Toronto, they're doing, because they've been overrun with pigeons, they have a pigeon birth control project. It's like feeders that attract the pigeons and then it's birth control,

so they don't lay eggs all over the place. And that's somebody's job. That's somebody's full-time gig. Yeah. Setting up, monitoring. Just birth controlling the place. And that's somebody's job. That's somebody's full-time gig. Yeah. Setting up, monitoring. Just birth controlling the pigeons. Yeah. We don't really get many mosquitoes here in Vancouver.

No, we don't. I remember there was the, like when I was a kid, everyone was worried about the West Nile virus. So people were like- Yeah, we have that here right now. Oh shit. Be careful of standing water. Am I allowed to say it's fucked a bunch of times?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you're not a politician. You could say it as much as you want. Yeah, not yet. Emily, you're back on the podcast. You've started a new podcast. Formerly, you had a long standing podcast. You've started a new podcast. Formerly you had a long standing podcast. This is a brand new podcast.

Your old podcast, you got in a huge fight and broke up. Yeah. Yeah, I did Baby Geniuses for like 12 years. We are on a, you know, possible, like a hiatus right now that could be permanent. We don't really know just sort of like we're just feeling it out but I was I already had plans to start this Jeopardy podcast with John Cullen friend of your show as well yeah

how do you know how did you and John Cullen get to meet each other dude we literally met because of Jeopardy really because Because I, I'm like a new Jeopardy fan. Oh no. Like a couple years ago. You remember that it was hosted by a guy named Alex Trebek? You remember that far? Honestly, it was post Alex, which also makes it sound like that's why I was avoiding it,

which is not the case. But my husband and I started watching during Amy Schneider's run. Like we started with that and then we were like, ah, we got a taste for it now. And so I honestly was like on Twitter looking for tweets about Jeopardy and I found one that John had done that was funny and that's how we met.

Oh wow. It's like I followed him because of that and then I went on Blocked Party and we just talked about Jeopardy for like 20 minutes and we were like, ah man, we kind of already started a podcast. But it also was like, we are the only comedy podcast about Jeopardy.

That blows my mind. Which just considering the fact that like so many TV shows have so many podcasts and it is like one of the most popular TV shows on TV. Yeah, that's where it is. But I think part of that has to do with the fact that its fans are not podcast literate. But we are very, the community has been very welcoming of our podcast, I will say. It's been very nice. Did tell me about the community.

Where does the community meet? Yeah, I want to know about the community. They meet on Reddit. No, I mean, there are just like people who have been on Jeopardy who are like listening to the podcast and we will hear from people who we're talking about on the podcast because we recap the games from the previous week and like we do a little bit of like game analysis, but also we do talk about like our favorite anecdotes of the week and we play clips of funny responses and

Things like that. And so it's just it's very silly and stupid But a lot of the former contestants have been Listening to the podcast. We just released a special bonus episode that where we were covering the Jeopardy! Masters Tournament with Juveria Zahir, who was the winner of the Champions Wild Card Tournament this past year, and she's really good. She is incredible, also Canadian. Well, it's gotta be part of it at least.

It's gotta be part of the awesomeness. Mm-hmm. Dave, do you still, I don't have cable anymore, so Jeopardy is now off the table for me, but do you still Jeopardy? I have a, my PVR has a, I have a running recording of Jeopardy. It only saves five at a time because it was getting so full before, but I just never watch it. I really never watch it.

What are you saving them for? I don't know. I'm just like, if I have half an hour when I want to watch a Jeopardy, I'll watch like one a month. Yeah. Wow. I was watching it every night and then cable and there's no other way to get it every night. There are ways. Yeah, no, but I don't want to rip off the Jeopardy people. I want them to get all my money. They're doing fine. Yeah, you don't want to rip off Merv Griffin Television Entertainment. I was on Reddit.

I don't think I was on the Jeopardy subreddit, but sometimes Reddit will just show you a post from a subreddit you might like. And it was, I guess it was Ken Jennings birthday recently. And they said, the post was like, doesn't Ken look great for 50? And half the comments were like, well, that's clean living for you.

And the other half of the comments were, he looks exactly like every 50 year old I've ever seen. No one has ever looked more 50 than Ken Jennings. Yeah, like he's got a childish look, but not like where he looks young. Just like, he just looks like, oh, that guy definitely can't grow a beard. Yeah. Yeah. That's what it is.

Now I'm picturing with a beard and it looks so funky in my head. But I'm just picturing it with like an Amish style, no mustache, just beard. Right. Yeah. He has, he He is on record saying, because people have been like, are you gonna grow an Alex Trebek mustache? And he's on record saying, you don't wanna see what it would look like.

I do. Alex Trebek also wore a lot of gold bracelets. I'd love to see Kenan nose. Oh yeah, did he? He had one specific one, I think. Alex was a bit of a, you know, he's old school. He was a real fashionista. Yeah, yeah, he left getting in those khaki outfits

and going to the outback and doing a question about a Cobra or something like that. Sure. I'm here at Machu Picchu. Yes. Do you have a favorite anecdote from this past week or is it just- Do you have a favorite potent potable? Yeah.

I do get pretty high on Weed Seltzer before we record every episode. I will say that. Well you will hear on the episode that is released my favorite anecdote of the past week. It was a kind of a rough week for anecdotes this past week, but my favorite one, there was a woman who on Tuesday, her anecdote was that she rides an adult tricycle. And then on Wednesday, her anecdote was about all of the injuries she sustained from clumsiness while on vacation. And it was one of those like, oh, now the adult tricycle makes sense. Because when I heard the anecdote the first time, I was

like, just learn how to ride a bike, you're an adult. And then I was like, oh, you know what, it's a good call, stick with the tricycle. Oh, man, I'm trying to picture what an adult tricycle looks like. It just looks like a kid's tricycle, but bigger? I think it's just maybe like kind of like a recumbent bike. Oh. Like those have three wheels, yeah? Yeah.

I don't know. That's a good question. Do they have three wheels? I don't know that I've ever looked that closely. I think it would be upright, not recumbent. I think it would be, yeah, I can picture a adult tricycle. I think you take up a lot more of the road than you. Of the road, yeah.

Yeah. Have you ever seen one of those tricycle. I think you take up a lot more of the road than you on the road. Yeah. Yeah, have you ever seen one of those? Tricycle like motorbike things. Yeah. Oh man. Oh, yeah I've seen have you seen the one that's got two wheels in the front and one in the back. Yeah No, that makes no sense. Yeah, it's weird. It's, does anyone know anything about motorcycles? Cause I have a question. Does anyone know anything about motorcycles?

I'm sure some people do. Here's a question I have. You know when you're driving and you see a motorcycle coming your way and it's got two headlights, but only one of them's on? Is that just a design flaw or is that something that they all do? Does anyone ever notice this?

Two headlights? They have like, nevermind. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh.

Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. or two ago. Yeah.

And I looked it up why the Amish don't have a mustache. Why? And it's apparently because mustaches were something that you had if you were in the army, like however long ago, and they're nonviolent people, so they refuse to grow mustaches, and this is just how they show. They're like nonviolent people, so they refuse to grow mustaches, and this is just how they show... They're, like, nonviolent passive resistance. Someone needs to tell them that mustaches mean something else now. Yeah.

They kind of complete the beard look. Yeah, there are a couple mustache things behind, but... Yeah. Emily, I have many questions. One is, weed seltzer. How does that work? And is, I mean, I guess, what is that? You drink it and you get high when you drink it.

And you get high for like a can. How high will that get you and how long will it last? So it's like, they have ones that are like 2.5 milligrams, which is pretty mellow, and then you can get ones that are like five milligrams that are like bigger. And I like it because it's like gradual, you know what I mean? Right.

Whereas like sometimes if you like just eat like an edible, it'll be like, whoa, like all of a sudden, while you're in the middle of another task. Yeah, yeah. But, yeah, I've gotten in, we got a new dispensary in our neighborhood that sells them and I've been- What's it called? What's its name?

Is it a funny pun name? It's called Stash Dash. What's that? And I don't think they deliver. But all the people there wear mustaches. So wow. Okay. But it looks like an Apple store. You know, it's like one of those where it's like you walk in, there's like a bunch of

display versions of the stuff that they actually have to go behind the counter and get for you. But yeah, I don't drink anymore because it just makes me feel bad. You know what I mean? Like I'm just like, I'm just too old and it just gives me a headache. Um, and so it kind of is nice to be like, oh, I'm kicking back with a drink instead of feeling like I'm taking medicine. You know what I mean?

Like it just feels more like, you know, an adult good time. Yeah. I am now, I cannot drink after like nine o'clock. I like to have like, oh, we're having dinner. Let's have a little cocktail before dinner. But then like after I put the kids to bed, I'm like, oh, okay, it's just me time now. Well, if I drink something now, I'm gonna ruin my life.

Yeah. Do you have a favorite Jeopardy category? Like a recurring one? Oh, I mean, I really like the before and after ones where it's like the correct response is like a combination of two things where it's like- Those are two hard. It'll be like, this training day actor

is also in the cap, you know, the US Capitol and it'll be like Denzel Washington DC. Yeah, that's good. Ethan Hawk boy. Hawk man. Ethan Hawkboy. Hawkman. Ethan Hawkboy. Yeah. You know, Hawkboy is one of the answers. Yeah. I like those ones because I don't retain information very well. So like those ones I have a better shot at. Yeah.

Because there's like you're figuring it out in the moment. I like the ones. I usually like the ones on the far right of the screen, cause that's like the fun one. It'll be the pop culture. That's not a rule. Well. They recently had one where the far right column

was like about cannons. Like literally every clue was about like a war thing. Really? I'm like, this sucks ass. This is like my least favorite. Cause I always thought like, when I, I haven't watched in a while, but I felt like the top,

like the left side was like US history kind of things and like Bible stuff sometimes. Oh my gosh. And then the right would be like. That's absolute confirmation bias, but I, you're making me wanna like, I'm gonna look at some Jeopardy game boards and I'm going to, I'm going to see what the categories are.

And I used to get mad at Alex Trebek because the fun category would always be the last category they did. And like, because all these like smarty pants don't want to do, you know, Detroit Lions football. Yeah, basically. I will say, okay, the first one I looked at does confirm your theory because the far right category is just shark.

Yeah, that's good. Exclamation point. But then, you know, on the next day, it's add an E at the end. That's fun. That is fun. I don't like the ones where they kind of super impose the word on the screen as the person's answering

to be like, okay, here's, oh, it. Oh, you don't like those ones? Well, I... They're just, they end up being hard where you're like, oh, I see. Yeah, but I do like the ones, my favorite kind, I think my favorite style is ones with the word, note the word in parentheses or a quote.

That was fun. Yeah. Oh yeah. And then when one of the contestants messes up and doesn't include the word, it's like, come on, guy. You forget what category you're in. I know. Do you think you'd do well on Jeopardy?

No. I used to think I would do well, but now I watch and I don't know anything anymore. And now people, they bounce around the categories too much. Oh yeah, they do. I mean, that's just like industry standard now. I know. Have either of you guys, especially I assume, Emily,

because you're paying close attention, somebody who was so sure they had the right answer, but completely fell on their ass? Oh, it happens all the If you've seen it. Oh, it happens all the time. I love it. But it's hard to communicate confidence in that scenario. Like sometimes people will be like, yes, nodding.

And it'll be like, ah, like usually there's a good reason for that. I will say, I think maybe my favorite sort of thing that has happened in the last couple of years since I've started watching is there was one episode where there was a guy whose job title was like a crypto investor. And in the Double Jeopardy round,

he got up to like negative $4,000 or something. It was like, who would have thought this guy would have made some bad bets? There was one that made me howl. It was about the Spider-Man villain. And this woman rang in to all the confidence in the world and called the villain Dr. Oct was Mr. Octoman. Okay, my favorite response of all time. Octo man. Okay. My favorite, my favorite response of all time. And I've been teasing this on the show.

I haven't like revealed it to our podcast listeners yet. So if there's any cross-over, you guys are getting an exclusive and God, I kind of want to just send you the video. It's so funny. There's a guy who, they're looking for King Tut's tomb. Like that's the response they're looking for. And like, they're like, this discovery was made.

And the guy rings in and he goes, what is King Tut? And they're like, can you be more specific? And he says, what is King Tut's body as a mummy? I'm just like, it is my favorite response of all time. I like it has not been topped since I saw it. I mean, I like when it happened, I like filmed it off the TV and I showed it to everyone I saw that week. And I showed it to everyone I saw that week. And I showed it to everyone I saw that week.

And I showed it to everyone I saw that week. And I showed it to everyone I saw that week. And I showed it to everyone I saw that week. Do you think you'd be a good contestant? No, no, no, no. I do think I would do really well on Celebrity Jeopardy. I think I would kick ass. But on my job. You could be on Celebrity Jeopardy.

Why not? I'm like, I've been gradually getting less famous as time goes on. And so I do think my chances are dwindling. I feel like if I was gonna like make a real run at being on it, I would need to like book some acting work, like specifically with the purpose of getting on Celebrity Jeopardy.

But yeah, I don't think it's gonna happen. But regular Jeopardy, absolutely not. My blind spots are huge. Any military history stuff, no way. Unless it was in Hamilton. Once I know it from a song, basically. Or if they did a Simpsons about it. US geography is one that I was just,

I might as well not pay attention at all. Okay, geography, I think you can study for. Yeah. Like that's easy to study for, I think. I have a globe, if I spin it a few times, maybe I'll get there. Like I have faith in my ability to memorize capitals and stuff like that.

I'm never gonna learn like ancient history or like anything. I'm never going to learn the periodic table of the elements. I am on record as saying that I will never learn that. So there's a bunch of stuff that I would just like, it would really be the luck of the draw on the categories for me. I guess I also will never learn the periodic table of the elements, just like I have no reason to,

but I never thought about it before that I'll never, I'll never do that. The only reason I've thought about it is because like, I do play bar trivia sometimes, and like every so often someone on my team will just be like, you guys, I'm sorry, I will just like go memorize the periodic table of the elements for next time.

Oh shit, okay. I'm like, better you than me, okay. I wonder if I would even, cause I remember, I was looked at it every day in high school. Every day. And I know that song, the funny song that lists them all too. Oh yeah?

Yeah, but I can't remember any of them. Is it Alan Sherman? Yes. But I don't honestly- No, is it? It's Tom Lehrer, I think. Anyways, go on. I honestly don't know if I would,

if you showed me like a bunch of like shapes of a blob and like, is this the shape of the periodic table or is this the shape of the periodic table? Like I know it goes down in the middle or does it? Yeah, it goes down in the middle. It kind of looks like the US a little bit. Okay. Yeah, it's bracket.

Right, it's like got to like a dip. It's like a little arc, like an up, you know, upside down rainbow a little bit. Like a line and two chunks. And there It's like got like a dip. It's like a little arc, like an up, you know, upside down rainbow. A little bit. There's a couple little little danglers. Sure. And the eastern seaboard is the noble gases. That's what I was going to say. What's the thing that's not the regular thing?

That was it was the noble gases. And then there's no Florida. It's a Florida list. But there's fluoride. Map. There's fluoride. Oh, OK. Now we're getting some high school. How many?

Also, I learned it in French. I learned science in French. I don't know if there's fluoride. I didn't know there's fluoride. But how many do you think you could get with just the two letters? Like, how many? Like I know iron is F-E. Oh yeah.

Oxygen is O. Oxygen is O. Carbon is H. Hydrogen is H. Helium is F-E. Oh yeah. Oxygen's O. Oxygen's O. Carbon's C. Hydrogen is H, helium is H-E. Yeah. Are we really doing this? Gold is A-U. Gold is lithium.

Uh. I have said I have no interest in this. I am on record as having no interest in this. We're trying to help you, Emily. We're doing this so you don't have to memorize. If you, okay, if you were gonna go on and it was going to be like a Cliff Claven situation where it's all categories of stuff that you know. Oh yeah.

Like what would it what would your ideal Jeopardy board like categories be? Oh that's good. Anything from the elf comic book series from the early 90s? Anything about that? I think I could probably nail. Also, ninja turtles. I feel like that would be. They would have two separate categories for that.

There was a ninja turtles final Jeopardy! recently that I did not get and I was pretty. What was it? I was pretty good with myself. Wait, let me find it. I wanna get it right. Cause I gave away the answer. Like the answer was Ninja Turtles.

Ninja Turtles, yes. Got it. Yeah. There's a, I guess, whatever, when they make license plates in British Columbia, they make them, like, you know, they do them in order. And I guess a big batch of ones that end in MNT came out.

And so there's always like For four one two MNT and like okay four hundred twelve mutant ninja turtle Okay, so the final Jeopardy category was fictional groups, okay, and the clue was Maybe because he was too Baroque Bernini was rejected as a name for a member of this group created in 1983. I would have got that. I would have nailed that one to the wall. Yeah. Well, easy to say that now that you already know the responses.

Well, because I know he was one of the ones they were considering. They were thinking of Bernini. You did know that. Maybe they were going to do Bernini, but he was too baroque. Yeah. I would have probably guessed some fake music group. Like I would have said Spinal Tap. Yeah. I was like, the Snorks? I don't know.

What was the Snorks? Was that just a cartoon show? I think it was. The Snorks was a cartoon. It was like, kind of like, I don't know if it was a Smurfs rip off or like a spin off or it was like related to the Smurfs, but they had a different naming convention. Right. Um, but it was about a bunch of underwater, um, creatures that had like-

Snorks on their head, right? Snorkels, yeah. They had like little like bendy straws on top of their head that bubbles came out of. Yeah, this sounds good. This sounds like a good one. So did they breathe air or water? What were the bubbles?

I feel like they addressed that in the theme song. Don't think about it too hard. I don't know. Like, I guess they must, maybe they like absorb oxygen from the water and then it's sort of processed in their bodies and it comes out of their snorkel. That makes a lot of sense. Yeah, it's unclear though.

I mean, it's also unclear why they're like wearing clothes and stuff like that. They've just got a nice comfy, you know, cozy exterior. But if you look inside. I would rather they be nude. Of course. Yeah, I think I had a stuffy. I think I had a stuffy of the snork.

Of a snork? Wow. Yeah, it was just that easy, you know, to make a cartoon back then. You could just say, yeah, it's the Smurfs but underwater. Green lit, no problems. It's a Ninja uh ninja turtles but it's mice on motorcycles all right it sounds good i'm looking at the snork's wikipedia page and um apparently the early earlier character designs were made for diskeys a very early iteration like i't know what, but they were going to be called discies.

Oh, discies. Okay. I thought you said discies, like, biscuit based. Oh, this, okay, so this was developed in order to compete with the Smurfs, because he, he had tried to buy the rights to the Smurfs, but failed. Isn't that always the way? That is the way. Yeah, so he was like, bring me a Smurfs competitor. And so that's why it's the Snorks. I love it. I love it.

I like anything that's that lazy. Yeah. Yeah, but I feel like, you know, they made up like all the He-Man stuff just to sell the toys. Like the toys came first and then they're like yeah yeah he lives in some alternate dimension or whatever and they're remaking it I'm like why we're not you still trying to move those toys or like what there's nothing fascinating about the world they created except that it was am I wrong about that was the He-Man universe fantastical? They're not

they're not remaking it because it was interesting they're remaking it because it was interesting. They're remaking it because people already know about He-Man. Right. Like that is the only reason any IP stuff gets made now is they're like, we don't have to teach people what a snork is anymore. You know what I mean? We already have snorks locked and loaded. Yeah. But it's like, they don't want to teach people

about new characters. It's like, we already own this, we can just. Right. Do you remember when there were two ghost, two different things called Ghostbusters at the same time? Yeah. There was a different cartoon with an ape. They had an ape and possibly a ghost

that was on their squad. Was it like related to Ghostbusters? No, because there was, I think it was cut, it maybe came out. It was from the 70s or something like that. Well, I'm looking this up. Did they bust ghosts as well? Were they wearing jumpsuits? It was just completely unrelated?

Well, they were ghost catchers, but it was pre-Ghostbuster cartoon, so that's why the Ghostbusters became the real Ghostbusters. Exactly. I just feel like all Ghostbusters, it's just like such a overreach. Like why would we have jurisdiction to police ghosts? Like what gives us the right? The theme song went, let's go Ghostbusters.

Is that right? Yep, that's right. Let's go. This is real? Was this a Canada only thing? No, this is why it was called the real Ghostbusters. But okay, so it was a 1986 American animated television series created by Filmation,

serving as the sequel to Filmation's live action television show, The Ghost Space Busters, with a space in between ghosts and busters. So there's a 70s ghost busters. Right. And it's totally unrelated. Totally unrelated.

And like the whole Ghost Buster thing was just a play on like what, you know, cockroach fumigators would have called their business back in the day. And now they don't, they don't call them that kind of stuff anymore. So it just seems like Ghostbusters is like, like its own term. Why must they bust them? Like why?

Yeah, why must they bust? Because busting makes them feel good. Obviously. But I just mean like, is there not, couldn't one of them be ghost catchers, ghost killers? Right. Right. It's gotta be best. But they don't kill the ghost, do they?

Well, okay, the, the, the- Ghost capturers. TV, the filmation came first. Yeah. When Columbia Pictures started producing the film Ghostbusters in 1984, it overlooked the fact that Filmation had already produced a live-action comedy series with that same name in 1975. Wow. Columbia agreed to license the name from Filmation for $608,000, plus 1% of the profits of which

they were... Which is probably a lot of money. Well, actually, of which they were ostensibly none, thanks to a Hollywood accountant. Ah, nuts. Yeah. They got none of those slimer bucks, because that's a little boy. And all the ghosts, this is according to Dan Ackroyd interview that I read, not all the ghosts were people.

Some of the ghosts are just ghosts that have been ghosts the whole time. Yeah, which gives us even less jurisdiction. Yeah. Yeah. Because Slimer apparently was never supposed to have been a person that existed and is now a ghost. He's just always been a ghost. He's just slime.

He's just slime. He wasn't a guy who liked eating tons of hot dogs. And also, his name's not like, like, his name's not Slimer, right? Like, they never say his name. No, they never say his name. But we all know. We all know it's Slimer.

Did it become Slimer in the animated series? Yeah. Isn't there in the credits of one of them, there's like all the credits and they're showing the pictures or videos of everybody and then there's one of Slimer and it says at the end, end Slimer? I feel like that was at the end of one of those like, it tells you what everyone did afterwards. Slimer, you know, went on to own a toothpaste company. He graduated summa cum laude and he finally got married to his sweetheart. Lady Slimer. I just remember speaking of French, Abby was telling me that she grew up in Quebec and there was an ad for this like Ghostbusters promotion

Maybe at McDonald's or something and you got like a horn a Slimer horn I had this limer horn when I was a kid But the and the the announcer had like is it like a horn that you're like watch out Slimers coming like what he was a like a bike horn like And the announcer in French had this like big lateral lisp. So he talked like this. So in French, the Slimer horn was called Tchak son Slimer.

It's just such a beautiful language. Yeah. Did you watch that cartoon stuff when you were growing up or were you like, what kind of, what type of young adult were you growing up? I was a big TV watcher. Would you just watch anything that was on TV? Pretty much, yeah.

I mean, I definitely, there were things where I was like, I wouldn't watch like, Cheers, cause I thought that the opening credits made it seem really boring. Right, yeah. Like there were things like that that I wouldn't watch, but yeah, no, I, by like that, you mean like the snorks or like Ghostbusters or like anything?

Like I'm the same. I would watch anything regardless. As long as it was TV, I would watch it unless it was like. I didn't really love sports all that much, but if they were on TV, I would still I would still sit there and watch. Yeah, I still wouldn't watch sports, really. Sometimes I would watch like the ice skating in the Olympics, but then I would like get really like, I found it too stressful eventually because my, if I, my, if I watched it with my dad,

if anyone ever fell, he would always go, oh, you know, like, and he would react really strongly, like, oh God, they just ruined their life. You know what I mean? And I was just like, the stakes are too high. I can't watch it. I'm too stressed out. That's why I could never go to Cirque du Soleil because I'm constantly worried

if this performer misses this jump, that's it. They're like, are they gonna be taken care of? That's why? Yeah. But it's not like, I mean, I don't think that happens at Cirque du Soleil very much. I don't know. It just feels like a job site that a lot of people can get hurt at.

But the one time you go, it's going to happen. Yeah. There was a thing like that at Ringling Brothers a while ago. And Bartima Bailey? And I had a friend who was in the show and she said it was really, really stressful. And it was upsetting. What happened? Did an elephant sit on somebody?

I think that there was like, maybe it's like an acrobat fell down or something, but it was like from a really big height. Yikes. Yeah. And you know they're not covering those medical bills, the Barnum and Bailey folk. I mean, they probably are, but not very well. I don't know. They send them to a clown doctor.

It's still also, yeah, it's like a very cartoonish stethoscope they're using and not a lot of medicine beyond that. No, it's just like your life is kind of over because your whole job is so physical. Yeah, that's what I'm worried about with these CERC ladies and gentlemen. They're flying all over the place. I don't know what kind of healthcare care plan they get at the Cirque I have no idea. I feel like comforted by the Big Net Yeah, the Big Net. Yeah, the Big Net is good. And they have each other

That's true. They have their circus people. They can't live among us They can't they won't they can't handle our daily rigor You say that I have lived with multiple circus performers in the course of my life. I would like to know more about this if you please. They do live among us. When I was in college, my college boyfriend went to clown school

after he graduated. And I moved to San Francisco and lived with him and a bunch of his classmates at clown school. Wow. Yeah, and like they were all so ripped. It was really weird because you have to be really in really good shape in order to do like pratfalls.

Right, that's why they always hurt so much when I do them. Yeah, you're like, how do they, it's not just because of the big shoes. It's just like, it's body control. Like, yeah. So it was very intimidating. They were all really like yoked. But were they also silly? Were they yoked and being silly all the time or is that only for the job that they're silly? No, I mean, they were, they were funny people, but they weren't like practicing their like, you know clown jokes at home. I will say But they also like I I don't know if this is happening where you are but in LA right now, there's like a big like clown

Movement in like the underground comedy scene They're just like the whole like the whole alt comedy scene is being taken over by sexy clowns right now. It's really weird. As the prophecy foretold. Yeah. Yeah. Posting their crowd work clips. Yeah. When I was first did like a fringe festival in Toronto, I remember somebody being like, Yeah, the clown scene here is really strong. And that being the first time I'd ever, like I was like, clown scene, what the hell does that mean? Clown scene?

The clown scene, yeah. Still, it doesn't roll off the tongue very easily, the clown scene. Yeah, I will say I also worked at a, like I attended and worked at a circus and performing arts camp for many years as well. In Northern California. That was founded by Wavy Gravy,

the infamous hippie clown. So I know a lot of like circus people that way as well. Yeah, I know a lot as well. I used to hang out with some dudes. We hung out a lot and one day we put a wire up between the twin towers. That's how I picture every clown or every circus person. It's just like all day long just jumping on a slack line and having no body fat. I mean, there is a thing where it's like, when two club jugglers realize

they're in each other's proximity, they're like, oh shit, it's time to pass clubs. You know what I mean? Like, they're like, oh fuck yeah. That documentary about him going across the tower, there was this part of it where like, he arrived down at ground level and there was a bunch of people gathered around him and then like some

woman just led him by the hand and took her to his her apartment and they just had sex like immediately after. I was like that's the most French thing that could ever happen. This is acrobats like afternoon sex of course. Maybe he was like, I can't until it's over with. You know what I mean? Like I need to focus like an Olympic athlete. Yeah. Yeah, we were talking about

like the last podcast or the podcast before is in the Olympic headquarters in Paris or not headquarters, the accommodations, it made the beds smaller so that the athletes don't turn it into a giant fuckfest. Which is, yeah. Oh yeah, because there's always like a huge sexually transmitted infection outbreak at like every Olympics,

because it's like all these like hot athletes just like going at it. Yeah, and also like I think probably coaches are like, hey, you know how you had energy to do this before we came to Paris all of a sudden? Well, because they just, I'm surprised to hear that because the sex was banned in Tokyo because it was like pandemic rules

and they've unbanned sex. Yes. Right. That was like, I mean, the Tokyo one was like, why are we doing this? The pandemic is raging so hard. We need it. We need to know who's the best at trampoline. Honestly, though, like as a kid watching the Olympics, I loved it. Because you would never see these sports on TV and then suddenly it's two weeks of, you

know, you suddenly get really invested in dressage. Yeah, and you're like, ribbon dancing is like a big thing and you're like, man, this is so cool. When I was a kid, I lived in Calgary, which hosted the 1988 Olympics. So every day we got to sit down and watch two hours of Olympics during school time, which was the best fucking thing in the world. I think I would have loved the Olympics

if that's how it worked for me. Yeah, it was a big deal. There was a Calgarian in the figure skating finals and she took silver. It was a big, big to-do there in Calgary, Alberta. It's probably the biggest Olympics ever because that's the one that gave us Cool Runnings and Eddie the Eagle. Yeah, exactly. Wow.

Yeah. It's pretty great. If you go to, there's a bar called Ranchman's, the scene where the guys in Cool Runnings get in a fight with some lion dancers. And they still have a giant bobsled poking out the top of the roof of the bar. So it's left to tomorrow. All right. Yeah.

All right. Yeah. Dave,. Yeah. Yeah Dave what's going on you my friend? Oh not a heck of a lot We I took the kids to a baseball game last week better better Swing better better. We said all the things we wanted a picture not a belly itcher, you know Yeah, these are the things you must these are are the rights of passage. Yeah. And we got, I, it's, we have a minor league baseball team here, the Vancouver Canadians. And it's great.

And like the most expensive seat in the whole stadium is $34. And there's not a bad seat in the house. So we went there, we sat down and the tickets we had bought, it was seven o'clock at night, we sat down, the tickets I had bought were right with the sun right in our eyes. Yeah. So my children, like, we were like, oh, maybe we can last a few minutes. No one brought any sunglasses. We lasted 30 seconds and we had to immediately move.

And so we relocated to another part of the stadium. And as we sat down, we sat down, we looked over and I kind of recognized someone. I was like, oh, why do I know that lady? Oh, I think she's a teacher at my kid's school. And then a couple of minutes go by, oh yeah that lady I think she's the secretary at the school office and we didn't realize that we had sat down next to like an evening out of all of my kids teachers. Oh shit. So I was really waiting for it to be like Shania Twain or something. And you just were like, she looks familiar. I must be from the school. And Shania Twain was there too. Did your kids recognize this was what was going on? Yeah, and they were they handled it a lot better than I would have as a child. I would have been like, we need to leave.

This is, but I am being, you're oppressing me by making me sit within 50 feet of my school administrators. Oh yeah, and sometimes I remember as a kid, like my parents running into one of my teachers or one of my brother's teachers and having like those, you know, like the big long conversations that parents have and you're like a kid and you have nothing to do. So you're just kind of like walking around in a circle and just be like, ah, come on, stop talking. I don't know what happened. I don't have those conversations.

My kids are never suffering long. I see another adult and like, hey, bye. It really depends on the personality of your parents. Yeah, maybe. For my mom, it's like anywhere we go. It's not just like if we run into someone from school. It's like if she makes a friend at the grocery store, I have to be like, we're going.

But that's somebody who can go on holiday and just be with friends all of a sudden. They can make friends effortlessly and it's not so easy for everybody, you know? But I don't wanna do that. and just be with friends all of a sudden. They can make friends effortlessly and it's not so easy for everybody, you know? But I don't want to do that. I don't want to... Yeah, and good news, you won't.

It doesn't happen to you if you don't want it to. That's true, it doesn't. The worst is if you're married to someone who is that way and you're not that way and suddenly, I guess we are friends with this other couple for the week. The, is Abby, she can chew the fat. Oh yeah.

So she's a talkative. She's a friendly person. She's a friendly person, yeah. I feel like I have a lot of relationships with like other dog owners in my neighborhood based on whether my dog will bark at their dog or not. And the ones that he won't bark at, it's like, there's some where I'm like,

I want them, I wanna be better friends with them than I am and there's some where I'm like, I'm happy with the level we're at. What do you look for in a person that you're casually chatting with that you're like, I wanna get to that next friend level? I mean, some of them just look cool. And I'm like, come on, you know, like, chat with me.

They won't, you know. And they're like, hey, I'm doing a clown show later. You wanna come by? Yeah. I can get you on the list. It's part of the underground clown scene. It takes place at a warehouse at three in the morning. Can I tell you this story I've told on the podcast more than once, but I was in Edinburgh

and I saw this clown, like there was a bunch of like preview shows where people just do like a little section of their show. And I saw these two women who are from Toronto's thriving clown scene and I thought one of them was really cute and I wrote on Twitter like oh is that this thing I guess I'm attracted to clowns now and then they wrote back and said oh hey we should get together and have a drink or whatever I was like oh that'd be great and so I showed up for a date they were both there both from the duo and they were both dressed in their clown attire and acted like clowns the whole time we were together.

Oh no! I've heard this story. Was this for anyone's benefit other than theirs? Was there an audience? No. I was apparently the audience. Oh man. Yeah, it was why. Because that's the thing that does legitimately scare me about clowns is they, you know that they're fake, but they're pretending that they're real. Like you're, you're not in a scene with them. They're pretending they're something and you're just a human. And that freaks me out. So yeah, it was wild. It was wild.

That's, uh, so how did you seal the deal or? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's crazy. We did. It was the reason I was honking all the time. It was so funny. It was so funny. At one point a slide whistle went whee. It was great. I'd do it again. Yeah, you were packed into a really small car, but somehow it still.

Still worked. And they were like, well, we hope you'll use protection. And they just pulled condoms after condoms out of their sleeves. To be fair to them, like your tweet does make it sound like you want the clown part to be part of it. I do, that's true. And I bet I, when I was-

You do. I do, and that's what I was hoping for but in its own context I don't want it to be out on the town, you know in as much as I want to you know He was somebody covered head to toe and latex. I don't want it at Swiss chalet. I wanted to Save it for the bedroom. Yeah exactly at the restaurant I'm just picturing somebody who like they met on some adult website and they show up to a dinner just in like a crazy gimp outfit. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm thinking about if a clown goes on a date and they're like, this might go really well. Maybe I'll make up my entire body, not just my face. Yeah, that's how you know that a clown's looking to like, it's gonna score the whole legs for this. I put a funny clown wig over my boner. A little honking nose on him. You like dye the pubes red and like turn them out. Or like rainbow. Oh, disgusting.

Check out baseball. It's America's pastime. Who won? We left before the ninth, but I think the Vancouver Canadians were winning two to zero. Against the Tri-City Dust Devils. The Tri-City Dust Devils. I couldn't tell you what any of the three cities are in the Tri-City. Did they give you a thing?

No. Now you didn't get any a thing? Was there a... No. No, you didn't get any free thing? No. We did get a little... Sunday in a helmet. Oh, that's fun. Yeah. I'm looking up Tri-City Dust Devils. There are any Tri-City anywhere. They represent them all. It's weird if it was Tri-City with a Y.

Like, this is the city where we just give our full effort. We're trying to be a city. Okay, this is very confusing. The Tri-City Dust Devils are a minor league baseball team based in Pasco, Washington. The Dust Devils are members of the Northwest League and are affiliated with the Los Angeles Angels. Why?

Well, cause they're a minor league team. Major league teams have minor league affiliates to. Yeah, but why would it be in a completely different state? Oh, because they're very far down. They're not, there's like, there's triple A, single A, double A, and I think this is high A. I just, you would think that they would be like affiliated with like the Mariners.

Yeah, but there's like, I think in our league, there are about six or seven teams and they can't all be affiliated with the Mariners. Yeah. They're all like, all right, within the drive of each other. What are we affiliated with? The three cities are, they're in southeastern Washington. They are Kennewick, Richland, and Pasco. Probably Pasco, yeah.

Okay, Pasco Dust Devils. I had never heard of any of these places. Is their logo a little devil? It's a little tornado with kind of a rascally face. Oh, that's fun. Does it have little horns? Yeah. It could be, oh nice, okay.

Yeah, it's like a, yeah, it's? Yeah. It could be. Oh, nice. Okay. Yeah, it's like a, yeah, it's a tornado. All the teams in this league are, they're in like the Salem Kaiser volcanoes and the Everett Aqua Sox. And I just, I always see, feel like Vancouver should win every game because these people come to a big city for the first time. They should be like, you you know partying every day yeah

but they don't have partying bucks these high a baseball no that's true I only paid $32 for front row seats exactly they got to split that amongst them they're trawling for hot dogs that have been dropped on the ground after they do have the three foot hot dogs. Oh yes. Like people carry over their shoulders and everyone makes a big show of it. Oh yeah. Did I tell you about the, it was like a guy that was eating it like a sandwich.

He had a three foot, but he was biting into it, not like hot dog style, but sandwich style. It was really odd. Like in the middle? Like a corn cob? Yeah, like biting into the bun, like holding the bun like a sandwich and then chomping into it that way as opposed to holding it like a hot dog.

That's not okay. Why would, oh God, is it just like homophobia? I don't know. I don't think you can order that much length of hot dog and also be afraid of. I don't know. I think you can You might be right I'm trying to think of another explanation for that

Well, if you were given that food and you do you know if nobody knew what it was first of all you would know Not to order three feet of it But you'd also be like, how do I eat this? I think I would look around at maybe one of the other people eating it and take some cues. I'm not, I'm not so confident in myself as to be like, I'm sure I'll figure it out. You think it might've been an exchange student?

Yes. Trying to fit in. Yeah, it's, I can't wait till I'm gonna go for dog days. That's a big day where everybody brings their dog. Everybody brings their dogs. And I don't know if they do it at our stadium, but I've heard that like other stadiums, they'll do dog days.

And when the other team is at bat, the PA announcer will, they'll play a doorbell sound to get all the dogs to bark at the other team. That's pretty fun. Emily, how would your dog fare at a dog day's baseball game? I think he would be very excited about the food on the ground. That would be his main thing. I don't think otherwise he would do very well.

I think it would be absolutely unbearable to be dealing with him there because the smells would just really get to him. What kind of dog are we talking about here that you got? He's just like a little lap dog. And is he the cutest dog? He is the cutest and best boy there is. Is he the little best boy? I was going to ask, is he the best boy? Yeah. Yeah. He's very good. And I do love him very much, but he's not a normal dog. In what ways?

In that he's more like a cat in many ways, but he's just, he's like got very intense separation anxiety. He also like does not care about like fireworks or anything like that. Like those don't bother him or anything like that, but he doesn't play fetch unless you give him a treat every time he brings the ball back to you. He's very food motivated,

but he just wants to be on the couch. We did one of those DNA tests to find out what kind of dog he is, and all of the breeds he is are all lap dogs. None of them are dogs that had jobs. It's like dogs where their job is to be on the couch with you. And so he takes that incredibly seriously.

When we take him to other places, I think he gets stressed out, like not knowing what the couch of the place is. Like he's like, where am I supposed to be like parked up? Like just sort of weighing you down? Right. So you always have to bring a little cushion with you wherever you go to establish this is-

Or just hope that there's a couch. You're gonna bring your dogs to dog days? No, my dogs are, they don't play well with others. Your dogs are insane, I love it. Yeah, they, there's learning what why I'm walking them like I walk them between half an hour and an hour a day. And they just come with me. But they do not go to the bathroom until they get home. They're like, once we're done the walk, they're like, Okay, can we go to the backyard? That's so annoying.

The only time they do go to the bathroom is if I've forgotten to bring a bag with me. And then they're like, ah, yeah, of course. When we first got our dog, it was clear that like his previous owner, whoever it was, like did not walk him. Like, because he was just like all business. Like he was just like walking in a straight line. He didn't stop to smell anything or use the bathroom. He was just like, where are we going? First like week and then eventually we were like, hey, check out check it out. There's stuff to smell.

We have one of the dogs, if we see other dogs on the walk, he either pretends he doesn't see them or he hates them. He's either going to kill them or they don't exist. And then our other dog's really nice. It just wants to meet every dog. Yeah, yeah, Monster's the crazy one. Yeah, Monster's crazy. Yeah, Irma wants to meet everybody. Yeah, anyway, that's life, man.

What's going on with you, Graham? Do either of you guys use the app Duolingo? Oh, I used to and now I feel guilty because it's been so long. I do Duolipa. What is that app? It's mostly just dance music. You're like, oh, there's gotta be a ballad in here somewhere,

but there's not. Just disco, modern disco. Modern disco. Yeah, her story's really inspirational, right? Like, super hot babe who was a model and then you had to be a singer. It's a story for all time. She was a clown for a little while, too.

She didn't spend some time in the clown trenches. She paid her dues. She paid dues. She was a very hot clown. Which of the pop starlets do you think would be the best clown? Pink. Yeah. Oh yeah. Pink's already an aerialist. That's true.

Like, she's adjacent. Yeah, she's already... Yeah, she... Oh, you know she knows clowns. When she's having a big backyard barbecue, woo, slack's already. Yeah, she oh, you know, she knows clowns. She's having a big like backyard barbecue. Whoo slacklines Yeah, I'm not super new to it I've been using it for months now, but the big thing is the streak how many French French And it's going very poorly. I know I was wrong about what fluoride is in French.

No, it's apparently fluorine. I thought you. The. You know, like you're supposed to kind of build things up and like learn different. I'm talking about conjugations and that kind of shit. But I still only know as much as I went in with. I don't know any new French or how to say a sentence better.

You don't know like a new form of speech. No, no. Yeah. If anything, I've like really leaned on what I know. And, and so like, but, but you rack up days, like this is how long your streak is. And that's a tough thing to keep going because I forget about it every single day.

You gotta turn those push notifications on, man. I got them and they'll only come on like an hour before it ticks over to the next day. And they're like, oh, it'd be horrible if you lost your streak, like a mafia guy would say. And you're like, oh God, I already brushed my teeth. So I was always afraid to lose the streak. And then I lost, I skipped a day by accident.

And then there's something called the streak freeze. And man, have I been abusing those streak freezes like nobody's business. What is it? It's like they don't, they're not hard on you for it. It's like an in-game purchase kind of where you can be like I didn't lose my streak. Yeah you get like one day like your streak's still there but we froze it at this day and then you have to get next day but you can turn in all your coins that you earn from doing a good job into streak freezes but because I'm not doing a very good job, I am running out of coins and thereby running very low on streak freezes.

How does it work? How long is a lesson? Depends on what the thing you're looking for. If it's just like learn new words, that could be quite short or just like an exercise one is like just an exercise wanna short, but then there could be longer ones where it's all like about students and what they're studying and where they're studying, where they're staying. Yeah, I know where they're studying, the bibliotech. Yeah, the bibliotech, absolutely.

They might stop for a sous-marin sandwich. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. What? A sous-marin sandwich? A submarine sandwich.

A submarine sandwich. Oh god. I should have been able to get there. But no they're not. You're not going to France and being like, where do I get their clothes? Where's the clothes? This is a submarine sandwich. I think that there's probably some people who are like, I'm traveling against my will,

but I refuse to deviate from my Jared Fogel diet. Yeah, I'm calling this a three foot hot dog, not a twa foot hot dog. I'm not some kind of French whatever. But yeah, anyways, I'm running really low on street freezes and I haven't racked up any good points to pay for them. So now I'm on edge, man. Well, you know, you're doing this for yourself. Yeah, and I'm doing poorly by myself.

That's something I've noticed when they're like, you're only cheating yourself. I'm like, do they say that? No, but you know when they say that? Okay, it's not part of the app though. No. It's implied. Okay, it's not part of the app though. No. It's implied. Yeah, exactly. Well, you sure seem to be doing the lowest possible

to get the check mark for the day. You have to combine it with a ritual you actually do every day to be like, this is my time for like coffee and duolingo. I don't have anything like that. I wish I did, but I don't. You don't have anything that you do every day? Yeah. Teeth brushing.

Yeah, no, that's every other day. That's whenever I feel like it. Oh no. Yeah, I guess, but then I don't wanna attach, like, tooth brushing's its own thing to get up and have to do. It's already hard enough to get going on that. I don't wanna say.

Just stack the dread on top of each other. Exactly, now I gotta do Duolingo too. When I first got an electric toothbrush, I was like, this will be two minutes, because it gives you 30 seconds per quadrant. This will be two minutes a day, well, I guess four minutes a day, when I don't look at my phone, I just zen out,

and that lasted a week, and then I just let go of my phone. No, yeah, if you don't look at your phone, I just Zen out and That lasted a week, and I just like no yeah, if you don't look at your phone You're done in five seconds, but my toothbrush is my toothbrush gives me 30 sit like it buzzes every 30 seconds Oh, I'm always like this thing's wrong. I've been doing this for I've been doing this I must have missed one of them Yeah Yeah, I've only just recently I was using the electric toothbrush fairly regularly. I've just gone back to manual because I feel like it's the only way I can really get into it is when I'm paying attention and like really working it, you know? Otherwise I feel like I'm not hitting the zones at all with that electric toothbrush.

You know? That doesn't make sense to me. I think you're wrong. Well, I'm probably wrong. I think it feels like you're working harder, but you're probably not actually getting as much cleaning done. Hmm, interesting.

I went to the dentist the other day and they're like, you're brushing too hard. And I was like, because with an electric toothbrush, you're just supposed to like dance it on the edge of your teeth. Okay, I feel like the things dentists say to you, it's like network notes, you know what I mean? Like it's studio executives where it's like,

they're justifying their jobs. They don't actually have any notes. They're like, you're brushing too hard. Come on. They're like, every time I go there, and they're like, oh, I can tell you haven't been flossing. And I'm like, I have. Or they'll be like, oh, I can tell you have been flossing. And I'm like, I actually haven't been.

Like, they're never right. They're just trying to like trick you into going to the dentist more often. Oh, my last dentist was like, oh, you really should be doing every four months. Oh God, fuck off. Every four months, really? Yeah. Wow.

That's every 2000 flushes. But they also found out that like the whole like every six months thing is like just completely made up. Oh like as Unscientific as like well an engagement ring supposed to be three months salary It's like we scientifically found out we will make more money as an industry if we adopt this standard That's the old plop plop fizz fizz, you know

industry if we adopt this standard. That's the old plop plop fizz fizz, you know, the whatever, Elka Salter? Yeah, that's what it was. It was like two, you use two instead of one. That's why that existed. I went to the dentist on Friday and they painted that fluoride onto my teeth and I was like, and can I eat after this? Like do I have to wait? And they like yeah you right away just no like hot coffee or anything grab a hamburger on your way out we got a hamburger hot dog whatever you like and I took my kids to a different dentist today and they were like no food for one hour whoa was it the same did they get their teeth painted I don't know But they didn't do much of anything. They were in and out in like 20 minutes.

Yeah, they only have tiny little teeth. And they're so wiggly. Yeah, it's easy. You can just, you know, just do a quick scan. It's not like adult's funky teeth that have all kind of jammed into one another. Yeah, they're working all sorts of weird angles. Kid's teeth. I had feelings for them.

They don't even really matter. Like you're not, you're going all sorts of weird angles. Kids' teeth. I had feelings for them. They don't even really matter. Like, you're gonna lose these teeth anyway. Well, they're, they're, they're, they're, we're at adult teeth. Adult teeth come pretty early. Oh. Yeah. And Emily, do you know that, like, have you ever seen an X-ray of a child's skull?

That they have all the teeth are in there. They have the other teeth already there? That's so messed up. I can't see a kid now without, that's the first thing I picture is that row of teeth. You can't see a kid now without that. No, no, it's locked in my mind. Those two images together, a kid and all the crazy teeth they have

just waiting to get to break in. It reminds me of that supposedly the saddest six word story. Baby skull never teeth grow out. Ah, it's beautiful. Do you guys wanna move on to some over herds? Sure. Hello, sleepyheads.

Sleeping with Celebrities is your podcast pillow pal. We talk to remarkable people about unremarkable topics, all to help you slow down your brain and drift off to sleep. For instance, we have the remarkable Neil Gaiman. I'd always had a vague interest in life culture, food preparation. Sleeping with Celebrities, hosted by me, John Moe, on MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts. Night night.

You can't really know if your own show is any good. So I asked my kids about ours. Is Jordan and Jesse go a good show? No, definitely not. It's really bad. I would say out of 10, maybe like a four out of 10. It's just really boring. Yeah, zero. Subscribe to Jordan Jesse Go, a comedy show for grownups. a comedy show for grownups. Overheard. Overheard.

When you hear them, we want to hear them. Don't just keep them to yourself, you selfish so-and-so. Share it here on the podcast. And if you want to send one in, you can send it in to SPY at MaximumFun.org. And we always like to start with the guest, Emily, do you have an overheard? I do. And I'm going to say that I feel guilty because I have told this um story on several podcasts And insists upon you sharing it

I I would have like brought a different one if I thought that it would be better than just telling the same story again Because it is the best one i've ever had which is I was I was at a screening of Madame Web. And me and my friend were pretty high. And we were sitting behind a bunch of teenage girls. And Madame Web, I don't know if you've seen it, pretty bad movie.

Pretty much one of the funniest movies I've ever seen in terms of it was just so bad, but also not quite bad enough to be so bad it's good, but then that unlocked a new level of like so bad it's good where it's like, this is just so uncomfortable. And when the movie ended, we sat and we waited to see if there was gonna be like a post credit sequence. And so did the girls in front of us.

And then when we realized there wasn't one, one of the girls in front of us stood up and just said, I'm fucking done. And like the whole theater started laughing. And one and as they're walking out, one of her friends goes, Oh, my God, if I was tick tocking that right now, you'd be going viral. And one of her other friends turns to the girl who said that and is like, you're thinking about TikTok right now? The girl just said the first funny thing in her entire life

and you're thinking about TikTok right now? Like with the gravity of like, we need to take her to the hospital. Like. If anything you want TikTok around when it's the first funny thing you've ever said, that's what TikTok is made for. That or do you talking to an audience member who says the thing that's funny and then you post that as your. Yeah, I felt incredibly privileged to have witnessed that.

Yeah. That's also the you got to do it while at the same time you got to see Madame Web. Yeah, I was just like, this night cannot get better, but then it did. Have you seen it yet, Graham? Nope, but it's on the list. It's on the list. I like watching any of these kind of like sub-level Marvel movies where they were like, well, people just go see any Marvel movie.

Yeah, sure. I wanna watch the one with Jared Leto and I haven't seen that one yet. What's that one called? Call it that? Morphotron. Morphotron. I was like, it's Cornelius.

Yeah, it's Cornelius. It's about the Kellogg's chicken. Chicken, not Rooster? I guess he's a rooster. What? His name is Cornelius? From Cornflakes? Cornelius, yeah. Isn't his name Cornelius?

What? This is news to me. Oh, he had a huge animated series in Canada. What? No. Oh, okay. I'm very gullable about Canadian shit. Like, I don't know what's going on up there. We have, have you ever heard of the Lilas Hobo? No.

It's a show from the 80s in Canada about a dog that travels from town to town and solves crimes. What? Yeah. Not with a cop or anything, just on his own. Well, good. That's even better. Yeah. And sort of like, what do you call it? The fugitive or the Hulk? Like where he's, he, um, every week. Yeah. Yeah. He just disappears into the, he goes on the road again at the end of the, he solves a problem and then like poker face. Yeah. like quantum leap. Yeah. Yeah, and It was a hit Show in Canada for many many years. They did a remake of it in the 90s

that wasn't as good and it was made on like No money the in the video cameras are like, you know the same ones that they would we can't shoot the little as hobo today Cuz there's been a car crash in town. We need to shoot that for the news. Oh the littlest hobo today, because there's been a car crash in town, we need to shoot that for the news. Oh, why don't we incorporate the littlest hobo? Yeah, maybe he could go solve, give some CPR to somebody.

I, of course, saw Madam Webb with my daughter, with my nine-year-old daughter, and I was like, oh, spring for the, the like seats that vibrate and stuff. And 10 minutes in, I had to turn them off because I was gonna throw up. I can't imagine they put any real work into the 40X experience.

So much of that movie was like, you barely finished this. Yeah. I don't know how much work they put into that. Are there artists who are like, this is my vocation, I am a 40X? Oh yeah, that's like a whole other job, I think. Yeah, and it's like anything. It's like people, I think they intuitively know that they're on a sinking ship, but they're still going to do their job.

The lighting guy of Madame Web may have been like these scenes are pretty bad Like this seems like it's not gonna cut together well, but they're out there lighten it. So I like it the same. Yeah. Yeah Dave do you have an overheard? Yeah, mine's an overseen. This is from IMDB, which is Sort of like this database of movies that they have on the internet. How does it work? That I can't answer. But we were talking last week about Dwight Yocum or a couple weeks ago about Dwight Yocum and how great he is in crank and panic room. Panic room.

Yeah. And I went to his IMDB and I was, you know, I guess I knew everything he was in. And, um, but there was like, I was a little curious, and like, what are the, is there like a little, sometimes there's like a little discussion board, or there's like people who have us, us taken an actor and assembled them into a list of actors that fit. Yeah. On the side, and I was like, oh, let me check these out. And so in the Dwight Yoakam IMDB, these are the categories that people have, lists people have added them to.

Excellent actors that don't get the attention they deserve. Agreed. People who were at the Jackie Brown premiere. Probably. I buy it. One just called Actors. Yeah. And then my favorite was Cinematic Villains from Palindromic Years. And so I clicked on that one. So like 2002, that type of thing? And 1991 and that's it. Just people who were villains in So like 2002, that type of thing? And 1991 and that's it. Just people who were villains in movies in 1991 and 2002.

So who else made the list? Oh, you know. Well, do you have any guesses? 2002. I mean, what's going on? You know, Tommy Lee Jones. Yeah. Ashton Kutcher in like the butterfly effect or something like that. Cause you think, cause there's some great ones here.

There's like the T 1000 from Terminator 2, 1991. Yeah, 1991. Daniel Day-Lewis in Gangs of New York, 2002. Gaston from Beauty and the Beast 1991. Buffalo Bill 1991. Yeah. And then there's just like, Kiefer Sutherland in the movie Phone Booth. Oh, man. I remember seeing that because I was on the road doing shows and we were so bored one afternoon that we just went to whatever movie started at two o'clock. It was phone booth. And man, if that isn't one of the dumbest movies ever

made, I don't know what is. But the big reveal was that it was Kiefer Sutherland was the was the guy on the phone. It was Mr. Phone booth. But it was like the reveal was just like he was played by Kiefer Sutherland. It wasn't Kiefer Sutherland. Like the big like reveal was just like, oh, he's playing that guy. I love how often the IMDB lists are people where they're, it's like the list is something like, ooh la la, gets my motor going. Like it's just like really horny list making a lot of times.

With like 400 actresses on. Yeah, or it's just like a list of actors. And it's like, there's nothing defining it other than I have decided to make a list of actors. Yeah, I guess it makes sense if you like work at Entertainment Weekly and I need to keep this list separate from my other list. You were right, Tommy Lee Jones is on this.

Oh shit. You were right, Tommy Lee Jones is on this. Oh shit. For the movie JFK. I haven't seen, but he's the villain apparently. Yeah. I just found one called actors and actresses who could play Ebeneezer Scrooge in parentheses, including similar character in an adaptation or similar project.

Close parentheses, new parentheses, updated. Wait, I've seen this list before. Oh, they updated it. Don't worry, there's an update. Number one, David Tennant. Oh yeah, I'm sure. Number two, Benedict Cumberbatch. Yeah, he'd be a great Scrooge.

Number three, Charles Dance. Oh yeah, my I'm sure. Okay. Sure. Number two Benedict Cumberbatch. Yeah, you'd be great. Number three Charles dance Oh, yeah, my friend Charles dance Number four Michael Keaton number five Christian Bale. Oh, these are great. It's yeah. These are all pretty good women No, women have made the list. Um Gender not in the way to gender swap Scrooge. Yeah. Yeah, they don't seem willing to do that. They have both Steve Carell and Rainn Wilson. Yeah, okay. Christopher Maloney, maybe.

We got out of British people pretty quick. I guess these are whatever the qualifier was. Oh yeah, I'm scrolling. Oh wait, okay. The first, we'll finally get to women around 46. Okay. Charlize Theron. Geez.

I'm not buying it. Jessica Chastain, maybe. Maybe, yeah. Kate Blanchett, she does have the range. Yeah. June Diane Raphael sure Madeline Madeline Petch From Riverdale

Absolutely, not which one is she on Riverdale the redhead is a redhead. No, she's not She's not old enough. I think she'll really Charlize Theron could do it because she did she was a Monster and she was also furious. I like she can my first thought was Emma Stone because she was a monster, and she was also furious. My first thought was Emma Stone, because she was Cruella. Oh, that's good. That's why I thought of Glenn Close, because of... She was Cruella. Yeah, she was Cruella.

She could be a good... Well, let's make a list of who could be Cruella's. Let's just add another parentheses update to this one. We've added a couple new and exciting entries. Yeah. Anyway, Dustin Hoffman was Captain Hook in 1991. Don't forget that. The next palindromic year, I'm guessing, 2112.

2112. Oh, to be alive then. Do you have an overheard? I do. And I was in Do you have an overheard? I do. And it was, I was in the midst of this overheard. I was at the grocery store and I was returning some coffee filters that I bought. They were for a cone machine, not a flat style. So it was my fault.

I was exchanging it and the woman asked me, why are you exchanging it? Is there something wrong with it? And I said, no, they are you exchanging it? Is there something wrong with it? And I said, no, they're just the wrong coffee filters. And then the woman behind me went, uh-huh. And I like turned around like, what the fuck? Businesses of yours. Anyway, she was on the phone.

She was just talking to her friend on the phone. But I was like, what the hell? I'm go off, I'm ready to do this. Oh man, you got to imagine grocery stores, they never think you're gonna bring back the coffee filter for buying the wrong one. Yeah, but it was like, it wasn't even the thing, like what would I have done with it,

like left in the lobby of my building, like free coffee. You could filter some stuff. Put like, make it a little hat for a tiny dog yeah maybe you the triangle ones yeah a little triangle guy I mean the possibilities are endless really but just coffee possibilities very limited without the correct filter so glad to report that I got the right filters and the coffee I had this morning was wonderful so so you have you have the circular one yeah the circular one I got the classic I got the right filters and the coffee I had this morning was wonderful. So, so you have, uh, you have the circular one.

I got the circular one. I got the classic. I got coffee maker classic. That could also be a hat for a dog too. It'd be a little frilly hat or like a king look like a little crown. Yeah, we go both ways. Yeah. Emily, do you ever put hats on your dog? Why or why not? We try. He's not a big fan, but we did stay in an Airbnb one time that had like a little toy like cowboy hat

that was just like the perfect size for him. And so we were like, we gotta put this on the dog. And so that worked out really well. I mean, we also walk him with a mesh bag over his head. Why? Which is a kind of a hat. He's a gimp. Because he's, I mean, it really does look like that

because he's like so, such a scavenger and he's like gone to the hospital for eating stuff on the ground. And so we were just like, there's just no, and he's so low to the ground. It's like the only way to like actually be sure he's not eating anything. Right. So not a muzzle, like actually a bag over his head.

Yeah, because we didn't want to muzzle him, too. It's like it's a foxtail mask. It's made for dogs. It's to keep foxtails out of their ears because those will kill them. But it also stops them from eating. OK. This is new. This is new dog info that I'm just learning. It's new dog technology. Yeah, I'm glad they're innovating I'm glad they're still at oh wow yeah, that looks good. You seeing it out Fox

Oh, you find a good pick. It's like they it's like mesh so they can see through it But it looks like they can't see through it. Yeah, it's like a beekeeper mask kind of speaking which I just saw that movie last night It was great. Oh I've heard that's good. It is. It's exactly. Oh, yeah. Okay. That's makes sense. Looks like a little fencing mask. Yeah. Yeah, it's good. If you like Jason Statham, it's great. Oh, I thought it was Kevin James. That's Zookeeper. You're always getting those two confused. Yeah. Which one was in Bring the Boom? What the hell is that one called?

Here Comes the Boom. But you know what? Hollywood, they don't want to come up with new ideas. That's why next year Zookeeper versus Beekeeper. Oh yeah. My money's on Beekeeper. I watched Godzilla minus one the other night, and it's so good. And then the fact that there was another Godzilla movie that came out

that was so bad in the same year, I don't think I've ever seen that happen before. But the same character did an amazing, amazing rendition and then a crazy like this is no good at all. Same character. They were more evil. As a character. But has that ever happened before? where like two movies in the same year about the same character I mean I guess

volcano and they were the same guy Armageddon and Asteroid. Steve Jobs is the only one I can think of. Steve Jobs yeah was one of those good I can't remember I mean, there was an Ashton Kutcher one, so we know one of them was bad. Yeah, the other one, whatever was the opposite. Oh man. Yeah, well, they'll do two documentaries. They'll do two Woodstock 99 documentaries side by side. Yeah, or like five Fire Fest documentaries. Yeah. Do you

guys think there will be now that he has passed away a Morgan Spurlock documentary about about him? Do you think they'll make a documentary about a documentary maker that was controversial in his time? I don't think there's critical like interest. There's not interested, that's fair. I don't think. I think we gotta go biopic. Yeah, who plays them though? You think? Oh, you know what, go on IMDB.

Did they do a list? IMDB. List of people. Potential Morgan Spurlock biopic actors. Updated. Updated. Yeah. Now we also have overheard.

In a Christmas Carol or adaptation or Super Size Me style biopic. Okay, in 1965, there were movies that were both about Gene Harlow. Oh, okay, yeah. Two different movies. There's also like the, there was one about Attila,

in 1954, there were two different movies about Attila the Hun. And there's one of them, John Wayne that plays Attila the Hun? Oh my God, I'm certain that it was probably white people in both movies. I feel like John Wayne was one of them. Or Charles Bronson? Anthony Quinn was one of them.

Okay, yeah. Who, I guess he's Mexican, which is like. I thought he was Greek. Irish Mexican, no, yeah. What am I thinking? I don't know. And then the other one was. Oh, he played Zorba the Greek.

Sign of the Pagan, yeah, Jeff Chandler. It's unclear if he's playing Attila the Hun. Yeah, I think so. Well, yeah. Best wishes to them all, all the Huns out there. Yeah. Now we also have overheard sent in to us by people all over the map.

You wanna send one in? Send it in to sby at maximumfun.org. This first one comes from Julie from Kennewick, Washington Do they have a team Dave and the they might have been one of the Tri-Cities? Anyway, okay This is to the five-year-old and a four-year-old Having a conversation where they're playing with

Rabbits the five-year-old gun. Hey mommy rabbit four-year-old. Yes, baby rabbit five-year-old. I have a boyfriend rabbit Four-year-old I don't care five-year-old his name is Travis You know now I care yeah exactly even though mommy rabbit didn't seem to care you're dating Travis what the hell care. You're dating Travis? What the hell? He's out of your league. Travis the rabbit. Do you think these were stuffed rabbits or I don't know, calico critters? Are calico critters the little guys? Yeah, the little guys. They're cute. Cute as hell. Cute AF.

My money was on imaginary but yeah, that's what I was thinking. I thought they were just imagining that they were rabbits, but it could have been toy rabbits. I'm sorry, I was still looking at Attila the Hun's bio. But has Charles Bronson played Attila the Hun? I feel like I've got that image in my head. I'm just looking at the bag on the dog's head photos again. We gotta stop looking at our computer. I'm looking it up, I'm looking it up. I'm looking it looking up. We're all looking it out when you look up Charles Bronson

I told the honey redirects you to Charles Bronson the famous prisoner portrayed by Tom Hardy Who was one of the top? Villains in that Star Trek movie in 2002 Till of a hun. Yeah, I think he played it in a TV thing or something. Anyway, so sure, this is a this is all conjecture. We also have one coming in, come in from Jonathan in Lannon, Wisconsin. I was at a small ren fair. Oh, there are no small ren fairs, just small imaginations, I guess.

There's no small ran fairs, just small turkey legs. That's the big draw, right, of a ran fair, is eating big turkey legs. And the Malaydean, the corset. Yeah, Malaydean, the corset. Mead, having a big cold glass of mead. It's just the turkey legs, that's the main thing. That's the main thing. That's the main thing. Yeah. At a small rent fair over the weekend,

a group walked past me and my friends, and a woman, probably in her 20s, was saying to her friends, yeah, my coworkers say that my playlist is divorced dad music. What do we think's divorced dad music? Is it a genre unto itself, or is it era-specific?

It's the white stripes. The fact that you had that so locked and loaded ready to go. It's the white stripes. Yeah, I guess it is the white stripes. Is it because you're like- It's the white stripes and he's bought a guitar and he's learning how to play it. Does he also buy a hat, some sort of a Jack White-esque hat?

Hopefully not, but it's possible. That's definitely a stage. Yeah. I saw a guy walking around with a cowboy hat the other day and I was like, what's his thing? Is he from a place that everybody wears cowboy hats or is he going through something or? Maybe he's a cowboy. Maybe he's a cowboy. Maybe he's in the city.

He's a Beyonce fan. He's picking up supplies, tobacco and whatnot. He just came to town to the general store. Yeah. Exactly. Did he have a horse hitched nearby? He did, but it had a bag on its head, so I wasn't sure if it was. But it was only because it was ugly.

It just had a potato sack on its head. This last one comes from Chris Baldi, Glasgow, Scotland. We don't say last names on this show, Graham. Sorry, Chris B from Glasgow, Scotland. Yeah, Baldi wasn't a last name. It was just like a value judgment. I was having lunch at IKEA and an elderly couple passed by, the husband pushing his wife's wheelchair. I can see the woman is visibly annoyed about something and as she passes she mumbles, well, it's not like I can run away from you. She must use that all day long.

Yeah, she's got that locked and loaded. That's how she ends all of her fights. Well, it's not like I can leave, so. Yeah. So I guess you win. Again. In addition to all of hers that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us, our phone number is 1-844-779-7631.

That's one. Ugh. Spy pod one like these people have. Hello, Dave and Graham and possible guests. The other night, me and my wife went to a local chain steakhouse off a highway and we had ordered a round of drinks and we were about to order another and the server asked me, you know, what do you want to drink next? And I said, I'll have a gin and tonic. And she says, okay, what's in that? And then she said, I just want to know what's in it so I can put something in, you know, to let the bartender know how to make it.

I just said, will we have another old fashion? Let me have another old fashion. That's much more complicated than it is fun. But I just love that they're like, our bartender sucks, man. They can't freestyle at all. Oh, I saw, I watched a very, very satisfying video where it was a bunch of bartenders and they pour a shot freestyle and then they measure how close the shot is to an actual shot glass shot. Oh man, it's satisfying when it's like right at the top. Like if somebody's just been doing it forever and just knows the rhythm of it.

It's weird how satisfying it is to just be like, ooh, competence. It's like a whole sub genre of like satisfying videos. Yeah. Watch this guy put together a chair. Yeah. Well, yeah, man, if you're looking for something that just like really just like a quick quick hit of satisfaction, check it out. Okay. Here's your next phone call. Hi,

Dave and Graham and beautiful guests. This is Alex overheard. I was passing by a park and I heard a couple of maybe 12 13 year old boys roughhousing around just messing around and they were just kind of screaming and then one of them yelled shut up shut up shut up shut the fuck up. Do you guys hear the ice cream truck? That's all, off I go. I was distracted by the Foley being done in the bathroom. Yeah, I think he was driving a street sweeping vehicle. And then he went into a coffee shop and somebody was frothing up a cappuccino.

Yeah. Sometimes when people send in a a voice memo it's like too crisp. Yeah, you're right you're getting everything. Yeah I felt transported by that. Yeah. It was a rainy day and wherever he said he was from. Yeah probably somewhere that's known for their rain. Yeah anyway you guys ever hear the ice cream truck come through there? You know what? I never hear the ice cream truck anymore because Dave and I both live in a neighborhood that

has like an ice cream shop that's very popular. So I never, I never hear the ice cream truck anymore. I hear sometimes someone pushing a cart with just like a jingly bell on it. Yeah. That I think is just selling popsicles. I one year like applied to be one of those people that's like a bicycle basically with a freezer on the front of it. And man, those dudes, they are territorial. Like you do not go on their their turf. Because I didn't even get to do it. But just talking to the guys is like I got this

street to that street. And they're completely shredded like clowns. They're shredded like clowns because they've had to fight each other for territory. I briefly drove an ice cream van. You did? When I was like, living, sorry, my dog is growling so much. I don't know what he wants. Alan, shush.

I was living in Portland for a summer and I like could not get a job for some reason. And so I signed up for what was obviously like a scam like business because they did not pay by the hour they paid on commission only. So I was like, God, I got to move this ice cream. And it was a very weird experience to be like, I'm new in town, I'm driving a big white van looking for children. I don't like this feeling. And I did it for one day and then quit and I made $20. I like in one podcast recording we found out that you used to hang out with circus folk.

And then also you drove a ice cream truck for only a day, but still pretty cool. Yeah. What it's all about, man. Yeah. Variety. Here is your fine. Oh, no, no, no. Sorry. You have something you want to share with the class? No, I was just thinking about those ice cream popsicles used to have gumballs for eyes. That's all. Oh, yeah.

Have them. Yeah. I just haven't had one since I was a kid. I bet you they still rule. Spider-Man. Spider-Man. Track, I hear this pretty had one since I was a kid. I bet you they still rule. Spider-Man. Spider-Man, track guy here, this pretty big gumball eye guy. I was extremely loyal to the chocolate banana chocolate rocket pops. Oh yeah, yeah.

I wouldn't get anything else. I liked the one ice cream sandwiches really, when I got into those in a big way, that was a. I gotta be honest, I don't think I like the, the gumball in there, because what am I doing? It's like completely changing the activity from eating to chewing. Yeah.

You're like, I guess I have to save these for the end, but it's really hard to eat. You save them for the end, they're still a little cold. Where do you put them? You save them in your mouth? Yeah, I put them in your like, tobacco. You like suck them out of the popsicle and then just like, put them in your hand, like. Oh, gross. Keep it in your mouth? Yeah, I put them in your like, tobacco. You like suck them out of the popsicle and then just like put them in your hand.

Like- Oh, gross. Keep it in your cheek. Yes, I agree, gross. I'm saying it's not a good idea. I'm saying there's not a good- Ellie, your idea's disgusting. Graham, we've lost a lot of respect for you today. Well, I think it was probably an easy transition. Yeah. All right, final phone call.

Hi, Dave, Fran, and possible guests. This is Avery, a bumper from Halifax, Nova Scotia, calling in with an overheard. Today, I was in a McDonald's bathroom and a man and his two young kids walk in. One kid goes into the stall and says, okay, I'm pulling down my pants now. Okay, sitting on the toilet. And the man, obviously embarrassed, says, okay, bud, you don't need to narrate the bathroom experience. So the kid says, okay, but then he proceeds to not say but yell, oh no. Oh no. Off I go. No, start narrating again.

Narrate what's going on in there. Tell me what's going on. Yeah, I actually need more details. Oh man. Anybody saying that in any bathroom ever is just like, oh no, oh no. Oh no. I know what's happening when you do that. I know.

Yeah. Yeah, we all know it. There's only a couple options. Yeah. Something went everywhere. That's what happened. Yeah. Yeah.

When's the last time either of you knocked something accidentally into a toilet? Me? It was this morning. My comb fell in the toilet. Oh no. There's a commercial on now for, I don't even know what it's for, but it's a guy sitting on a toilet looking at his phone and he gets disturbed and like in a public bathroom and you just hear the phone drop into the toilet. No one sits like that. No one sits like- Like where it can drop between your legs.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You leave. Like he's that far back on the toilet that there's a. Yeah, I guess so. Yeah. It doesn't make no sense to me, man.

Maybe it's one of those European toilets. You know, long, it's longer than. That's not a thing. They don't have long toilets in Europe. Are you sure? Ellie, are you sure about this? I think you might have accidentally used a sink as a toilet. You know what?

You ever go to Europe and you've got the ice cream cones that are for like two pieces of ice, two scoops of ice cream, but side by side? Yeah. You ever seen those? That's what those toilets are like. They got long side by side. I thought you were just gonna be like making up another thing that he like mistook for a toilet.

That's what I thought was coming to, yeah. Just like, you know how in Europe, like they don't have toilet paper, they just have the hand towels and you have to use those and then hang them back up on the rack? You notice that? Yeah. Yeah.

Well, this has all been fantastic work, guys, the three of us, we really did it. Emily, thank you so much for being our guest. Oh, my gosh. Thank you for having me. And people can find what is a Jeopardy podcast. Anywhere podcasts are found. Anywhere podcasts are found. And we're on Twitter at Jeopardy Podcast and on Instagram at What is a Jeopardy Podcast.

And is there any, where else can people find you online if they want to watch your short film, for example? And that's on the- Oh yeah, I'm at Mr. Emily Heller on all platforms. So that's where everybody can find you, all your wonderful work. And I just, of course, I can find your garden on Emily's garden show on Instagram as well.

I have not been updating as much. My main garden thing that's happening, I have a job again, so I'm not spending as much time in the garden, but I do have monarch butterflies, monarch caterpillars pupating right now, and so I am posting about that in my Instagram stories if you want to see that happening. And I also just Googled Attila the Hun and history.com has an article titled eight things you might not know about Attila the Hun. Number one, his upbringing was privileged.

I bet. Oh, Nepo-bee. Attila the Hun, he played Genghis Khan in a movie. John Wayne played Genghis Khan in a movie. Keep an eye out for that. It's some really good character work. Thank you for being our guest. Thank you everybody out there for listening to the show. We love you very much. Dave and I both love you very, very much. And that's the most important thing. We're not mad, we're just disappointed.

We're disappointed, that's right. So come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. Maximum Fun, a worker-owned network of artist-owned shows, supported directly by you.