Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 850 - Abby Shumka

Episode Date: July 2, 2024

Her own person Abby Shumka returns to talk sewing, a puzzle movie, and sumo wrestling....

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hi, he's Dave Schumke. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 850 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name's Graham Clark and with me as always is, as of last week, the reigning champ of the Rube Goldberg machine, Mr. Dave Schumpen. We don't know if I'm, if it won the contest.
Starting point is 00:00:38 There was no contest. Okay. And also, I was only, you know, I'm only the supervisor. Margo did all the work. Right. Wink, wink. You just stood back with your hard hat on and just had a clipboard.
Starting point is 00:00:53 Okay, I'll allow it. Yeah, yeah, that looks good. Now just push this thing over and the other thing. Anyways, if anybody was lucky enough to see it there at the school, if you're a teacher that saw it, I'm sure it was breathtaking. Yeah. Margot watched, as she said yesterday, they watched all of them.
Starting point is 00:01:11 Yeah. And they're all kind of the same. They're all like 11 seconds long. Yeah. You do all this work and it kind of... Oh, good. Our guest today, one of our all time favorite guests, you may know her from the Fashion Hags podcast. You may know her from discussions of ours on the podcast.
Starting point is 00:01:35 She is the wife of Dame Shumka and also her own person, it's Abby Shumka. Hello! Hi, it's me! I can hear our dogs just absolutely losing their minds upstairs. There's gotta be one of the neighbor dogs must be walking past. Maybe, how dare they? Anyway, hi, it's me. Hi, hello, welcome back.
Starting point is 00:01:54 I'm happy to be here. Yeah, it's nice to have you. This is easy breezy, you know? This is one of the easy breezy ones. Yeah, just kinda walk in, sit down, you know? Yeah, and then when you're done, just go right to bed. Yeah, sit it and forget it. Oh my god, can you imagine just going right to bed
Starting point is 00:02:09 after this at 2 o'clock? Yeah. Oh. Oh. I mean, we're on the same team. Well, you're not going to the same bed. No! No!
Starting point is 00:02:18 Yeah, OK. We're just going to synchronize our naps. Yeah. Didn't you have a? No. And sleep. Do we want to get to know us? Yeah. Didn't you have a- And sleep. Do we want to get to know us? Yeah. Get to know us. I was going to ask if you had a joke about synchronizing your naps with your roommate,
Starting point is 00:02:36 but it was synchronizing your masturbation. Yeah, that was a Pascalshawn Proudlove joke. It was his joke. Oh, but you were his roommate. I was the roommate in question, so. It's nice to be. It was his joke. Oh, but you were his roommate. I was the roommate in question. It's nice to be the person referenced in a joke. Yeah, the muse. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:52 The catalyst. I can see why people like it if they're like, oh, that was us in high school together. Mother-in-laws love it. Yeah. Oh, God. They eat it up. It's like this, you know, you listen to Something by the Beatles and Layla by Eric Clapton. You're like, these are about the same person.
Starting point is 00:03:10 Really? Yeah. Oh shit. Eric Clapton, well, but the- It's very like, dramatic. Was it that famous groupie woman? No, she was George Harrison's wife. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:03:22 Patty. Right. And she, was it Patty. And she was Patty. And she, I watched his Eric Clapton documentary, and he was obsessed with her. And he was, they were best friends, Eric Clapton and George Harrison. And he was obsessed with her while she was married to him. Oh, shit.
Starting point is 00:03:37 He wouldn't stop calling her. He was a, he's a real piece of garbage. No. But he wrote that. He has good views now. He's got great politics now. And he couldn't use a real name, so he called her Layla in the song.
Starting point is 00:03:50 And then later he married her. He did? Yeah, and he wrote, Jesse's Girl. Wonderful Tonight. But it's just like, you're the her of jokes. There were, yeah, that was a real thing back in the day was wishing that you could be with your friends gal
Starting point is 00:04:08 and then putting it to music. I think there's some people who are just like, yeah, I'm a muse, man. Write your songs about me. That's what I do. Just step back, on for the ride. Was there an Albert Brooks movie called The Muse about that starred Sharon Stone.
Starting point is 00:04:26 Could've shown, yeah, wait. When was this? Was somebody whose husband was attacked by a Komodo dragon. Yeah, it was Sharon Stone. Yeah, yeah, you gotta like calculate backwards from that. Her husband was a Komodo dragon's, he was a Komodo dragon's muse.
Starting point is 00:04:40 Yeah. For dinner. Do you know what that story was? Like it wasn't like in the wild, it was at a zoo or something. Yeah. For dinner. Do you know what that story was? Like it wasn't like in the wild, it was at a zoo or something. And they were getting like a private tour. And yeah, I mean, you know what? Fire beware, right? Get a tour at a zoo.
Starting point is 00:04:55 Caveat M tour, baby. Exactly. If you're gonna go in, you're gonna try and pet a dragon? Say Fafode, baby. What's Fafode? They fucked around and found out. Fuck around with a dragon? I don't care if it's a Komodo. They faff-ode, baby. What's faff-ode? They fucked around and found out. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Fuck around with a dragon?
Starting point is 00:05:07 I don't care if it's a Komodo. I don't care where in Indonesia it's from. Mm-hmm. It's still a dragon. Did you help out on this Rue Goldberg machine? Yeah. I supervised and tweaked. Tweaked, OK.
Starting point is 00:05:21 Yes, David already done, David and Margo, wink, wink, had already done all the work. Yeah, if you listen to last week's, if you missed last week's episode, I made a science project. Yes, it was an assignment from school, but yeah, Dave was doing it, and I came in and was like, shift that,
Starting point is 00:05:37 and add more of those. Sure. Lengthen this, and shorten this. You're always saying lengthen this to me. I am. Which is, I'm trying. Well, I keep having to say it. Yeah, well, I don't know how.
Starting point is 00:05:47 You get one of those Austin Powers machines. They are my bag baby. It's a Rube Gold Dick machine. Sorry, not bad. That's all right, that's all right. Dick Berg machine. Yeah, Rube Dick Berg. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:01 Dick Enberg. I almost named you Rube Dick Berg. My lawyer. So, Abby, it's been a little bit, I would say, over a year since we've had you on. Just a minute. Yeah. What's, what's shaking? Tell me what's going on. Break it down for us. Well, I used to work for a pajama making company. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. But, yeah. But it is ending, it is closing as of this recording. This is the big announcement. This is the big announcement, I've been waiting. My boss has told me this is our big move. Two weeks before it ends.
Starting point is 00:06:36 This isn't going out of style. It's closing up, we don't have any stock left. We're selling everything. Everything must go. Everything must go. Do you wanna buy a bunch of twill tape? Twill tape? Almost two kilometers worth of twill tape
Starting point is 00:06:48 in my garage right now. For us, not in the know. Twill tape is? It's like the woven cotton, like drawstring fabric that you can have on the kitchen. Oh, yeah, yeah. It's flat like tape. I have it on my jeans.
Starting point is 00:06:59 A lot of people don't know, but. Hey, man. Elastic waist jeans? Yeah. Do it up. Yeah, exactly. What if they're maternity jeans on top of it? Who needs hard pants in the year 2024? Come on now. Hey man, elastic waist jeans? Yeah. Do it up. Yeah, exactly. What if they're maternity jeans on top of it. Who needs hard pants in the year 2024?
Starting point is 00:07:08 Come on now. Thank you. Elastic waist jeans, I mean, it got Slater, Jesse Spano. That's true. That's true. And our apple bottom jeans, are they drawstring though? I know what you wear them with. What do you wear them with?
Starting point is 00:07:21 Well, you wear them with the boots with the fur. Oh yes. I was almost messed up and said the Reebok with the strap. But those are baggy sweatpants. So what like when a business closes out I know they get rid of all their stock but are they also getting rid of like office supplies? Oh sure yeah we've already done all that. Yeah. Yeah we didn't have that much to begin with because we were pretty conscious of how much shit we had, right? And we're a minimal team so we didn't ever really need a bunch of stuff, but how many peeps?
Starting point is 00:07:52 At the most four or five people. Oh shit. Yeah, but usually it's three Yeah, but that was a good run. That was we did amazing. We did it was super super fun I loved what we made. I will continue to wear the things that we made because we made such great things. I'm super bummed about it, but I understand that it happened. I wish my boss the best. She's onto another adventure. And that's cool. And I have told her if she ever wants to come back and do anything, Alexander, if you ever want to come back, let me know. Big listener of the show, Alexander.
Starting point is 00:08:27 Alexander, this is it. This is your chance. You, a lot of people, if you have never heard Abby on the podcast before, you're a seamstress. You can make all sorts of things out of, like, do you make clothes for your youth? No, they have no interest. No, really? No, they don't care.
Starting point is 00:08:43 Not even a custom, some rather? The kids now seem to just wanna wear, I hate to say it, but baggy square pants and a Reebok with a strap. Yeah, dunks, white dunks, white trashed dunks. They wanna wear oversized hoodies and t-shirts. Oh yeah, I see that around. We saw these two t-shirts at Uniqlo the other day
Starting point is 00:09:03 that were, they had like cute little kittens on them. But they only had them in size 13, like for 13 year olds. And our kids are seven and nine. Yeah, seven and nine years old. And they were both like, that's fine, we'll take these. And I'm like, that's fine. I've seen, I've seen some people walking around and I just think they look so cozy They look like they're ready to just the pendulum swung the other way, right? We had skinny jeans and bodycon for years and now it's swinging the other way Yeah, which I feel like that was that was late 90s, right big jeans and stuff. Oh
Starting point is 00:09:39 Yeah, and I'm still trying to show off my thigh cap Dave that's yesterday's news. I know. Everybody wants the thigh to be nice and tight together. The thigh is touching and I'm like, I'm trying, I'm taking my beach pics. Through your legs? Through my legs and I'm asking if it's hot dogs over my leg.
Starting point is 00:09:58 So far it's been 50-50. Sometimes one day I wake up, it's hot dogs. But Abby, you're now, well, first of all, So far it's been 50-50. Sometimes one day I wake up, it's hot dogs. But Abby, you're now, well, first of all, as the person who shares your house, you are, I would say, sewing more than ever before. Oh my God, my brain can't stop. My brains and my hands can't stop. We made this Rube Goldberg machine on the kitchen, or the dining room table, which we've never, we've dined on about three times in our life.
Starting point is 00:10:25 It's not the place where we eat. It's not a dining room, it's just a... Big table. It's a big table. It's a big flat surface we put stuff on. And I had to... Sounds good. To make this Rube Goldberg machine,
Starting point is 00:10:35 we had to displace the sewing machines that have been there for eight months now, every day. Probably over a year, yeah. And talk about that. Yeah, well, it was an extreme hardship upon me to not have my shit where I wanted it for days. Are you doing this every day? Oh, absolutely.
Starting point is 00:10:53 Every chance, every five seconds, every break, every, yeah, I can't, my brain just wants to do it all the time. What are you making? Mostly clothes for myself. Okay. Which I never really did before. I was always trying to make other things for other people. I've also been on this quest to, other makers will feel, and it's not just textile people,
Starting point is 00:11:15 other makers know this, the hoarding, the stash, where you just keep everything, every little bit, every little piece, every little leftover of a project, every potential future project. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can't just have all this stuff. Because as soon as you throw it out. every little piece, every little leftover of a project, every potential future project, right? Like, you just have all this stuff. Because as soon as you throw it out... Two weeks later, you're gonna be like, oh, should I have that denim? I should have kept it. But I, all of last year, I was just making quilts.
Starting point is 00:11:36 Little, just little ones. I gave you a couple, right? They're like, you put them on a chair. There's some right behind you. Yeah, they're the soundproofing behind me right now. Um, and I just keep going until my brain's like, enough. I'm bored of this. I'm bored of this fabric. I'm bored of this combination.
Starting point is 00:11:50 I'm just going to do something new. Or like, this is as big as I can comfortably fit in my machine. Right. Because I only have like a little domestic machine. And you've known how to do this. This is age is an agency. Oh, for sure. It's a classic story of women my age,
Starting point is 00:12:05 or I guess other people, it doesn't have to be women. I shouldn't be so exclusionary. Where you- Leave that to us. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Leave that to the white men. The white Malaysian men. No, but like I did it as a kid and it was very much part of like,
Starting point is 00:12:19 my mom made my Halloween costumes and my grandma's quilted. And like, it was just around all the time. What Halloween costumes did you wear? I was Shiro one year. I was Lydia Dietz one year. I was a space girl one year. What space girl was that?
Starting point is 00:12:32 I was a bat one year. Did you say space girl or space girl? Space girl. Oh space girl. What space girl were you? This is like 1987. Like this is pre-spice girl. It was like a butter, butterick pattern from the sewing store of like, Space Girls.
Starting point is 00:12:46 Oh, cool. If you were Zendaya... Wait, okay, I'm in the right headspace. Yeah, okay. If you were Zendaya from Dune, you could be both Space Girl and Space Girl. Yeah, baby. Nice. Continue.
Starting point is 00:12:56 Yeah, get out of that headspace. Yeah, okay. Put Zendaya aside. Never. And then, when I was in... Whenever I was... And I got to be like 15 or something and you know, I was like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm
Starting point is 00:13:04 like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, like, I'm like, I'm like, Zendaya aside. And then, when I was in... Whenever I was... And I got to be like 15 or something and you have other interests and then I was 20 and moved away and I didn't have... like I just didn't do it for 20 years. And then had the opportunity to be like hey, you know what, this is actually something I'm super interested in.
Starting point is 00:13:20 I always want to learn more about it. I want to get better at it. There's things that. I want to get better at it. There's things that I want to get better. Yeah, exactly. What's that? Fun? Bleachers. Bleachers, there we go.
Starting point is 00:13:31 Bleachers. The guy from Fun. Yeah, see, there you go. Jack Andronoff. There you go. But yeah, so it's just, and now I've unlocked that part of my brain and I can't close it.
Starting point is 00:13:41 But Rachel Andronoff's part. But like, I can make stuff. It feels like- I have money to buy nice materials. Nice materials now, yeah. And also part of it, I'm older. Is that where all the money's been going? Yes, I just keep giving it back to my employees. Piles and piles of suede, suede everywhere you look.
Starting point is 00:13:57 Fancy wool and Japanese cotton. Exactly. But I'm also like in my mid forties now, I know the clothes I wanna wear. Exactly. But I'm also like, in my mid-40s now, I know the clothes I wanna wear. Yeah. So it's a combination of getting good enough. It's that Ira Glass argument where your taste is better than your abilities for so long.
Starting point is 00:14:14 You know the Ira Glass argument. Well, you know, the creativity thing where you, when you decide you wanna be a creative person, you like things and you create a level of things that are like your taste, right? That are a high level of your taste. But your abilities as a creator aren't there yet. So you don't like anything you make, right?
Starting point is 00:14:33 Whether it's a joke or a shirt or a bike or I don't know, man. The iris glass argument I keep having is I'm like, hey, make a less boring show. Oh, Shots Fire Day. And he's like, no. I don't want it. Just kidding, I shout out to Ira. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:51 I haven't listened in years. He had mentioned podcasting, David, have some respect. But now my abilities and my taste are at the same level. Nice. I can make nice things and I know what I like. I like, I have a very specific aesthetic that I like and I don't deviate from it. So I know I will wear what I make nice things and I know what I like. I like, I have a very specific, specific aesthetic that I like and I don't deviate from it. So I know I will wear what I make,
Starting point is 00:15:09 which is a very exciting place to be. Unfortunately, my abilities and taste are at the same level as well. The garbage. Yeah, dumpster. No, David. David, you've got great taste. David, listen to all that Dave's stuff, he's great. And look at him, just get an eyeful of him. Oh yeah, you're great. Listen to all the tapes now, he's great.
Starting point is 00:15:25 And look at him, just get an eye full of him. Oh yeah, look at my aesthetic taste. Talk about glow up, am I right? Yeah. Yeah. It's like, when it's something like that, it seems like put down if you say hobby. It feels like that doesn't cover the thing
Starting point is 00:15:43 that you're talking about. Yes, yeah. What would you even call it? It's bigger than a hobby, but it's not. I'm not making any money. Yeah, it's not a career per se. And I'm not interested in doing it for money. Okay, I remember watching Project Runway and they would always badmouth one of the projects. Like any article of clothing,
Starting point is 00:16:04 they would say it looked home-se projects. Like any article of clothing, they would say it looked home-sewn. Ah! That was a big diss. But that's like, I feel like it's a fine line between home-sewn and handmade. Yes, absolutely. It can be subjective.
Starting point is 00:16:16 I mean, sometimes it's objectively a technique or another or a type of piece or another, or like, is it well done or does it suck? Like, is it badly done? Do you know when you're watching Project Runway, you're like I know what they did there, I know how they made that particular pattern? Yeah, because my brain is like, well how does that pocket work? How many pieces are in that pocket? How does a pocket work? Yeah, what are pockets? No, he's asking. Yeah, please. There we go. Well, you know, there's many different kinds.
Starting point is 00:16:45 I'm like, is it in the seam? Is there an extra piece? Is it, does it hang? Does it hang loose a bit or is it real tight to the body? Is it long and loose and full of juice? Yeah. What's that? That's, how's it hanging? Hmm.
Starting point is 00:16:59 Was it low, loose and slightly to the left or something? There was another one. Yeah. I mean, there are all kinds. Low, bereft and slightly to the left or something? There was another one. Yeah. I mean, there are all kinds. Low, bereft, and slightly to the left. Bereft. Yeah, my weiner's bereft. It's morning.
Starting point is 00:17:13 It's morning. Yeah. Just found out Bob Barker died. I've known for years, but. News travels slowly. Yeah. You know, they say that. And you-
Starting point is 00:17:26 Should be happy, because it won't get spayed or neutered, man. Now, where do you guys eat if you're not eating at the dining table? Where is the- At the counter, we have sort of a bar counter. Oh yeah, that's fun. That's a fun place to eat.
Starting point is 00:17:39 You got enough chairs? No. Or the kids then just eat at the coffee table. Oh, okay. Yeah. Nice. It's easy peasy. And they watch Bluey. Yeah, we're TV parents, but as long as we say grace, I'm happy with it.
Starting point is 00:17:53 Yeah, there you go. Oh, great creator. Come down from, I do believe you are a white man with a long white beard living on a cloud. That's absolutely true to me please bless my food there was some live kids show thing that was here last week that my nephew and niece went to and it was it was something it was like a something for him you to some sort of space something you guys know what I'm talking about? It was Space Lord Mother Mother.
Starting point is 00:18:28 Yeah, that was Monster Magnet. They went and saw Monster Magnet. I don't know. There was, I don't know how those things get advertised because we never, like we find out about them once they're sold out. Yeah. Well, this one I've never heard of.
Starting point is 00:18:43 After they've happened. I see pictures on Instagram and I'm like, big thanks to all of our vendors at the blah, blah, blah. And I was like, what the fuck, I don't know who would have gone to this. The one time, I think. How am I finding out about this now? This seems like something age-wise
Starting point is 00:18:55 that they would have probably gone to. Sure, they'd probably been asked again. Yeah, there's like, the Wiggles seem to tour here quite a bit. Yeah. And then we, there was- They're a house band at a hotel. Yeah. There was we, there was a house band at a hotel. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:05 There was Paw Patrol Live. We went to Peppa Pig Live once. Yeah. We did go see the Dog Man musical. Yes. And that may be about it for like theatrical. Our Elf debacle of last December. Yeah, we saw the Elf December. We saw the elf musical.
Starting point is 00:19:26 We had to postpone three times? Yeah, because we all got voted. Because everybody got sick. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Everybody got sick. But thankfully you could just like choose a different night, choose a different night. And then we finally went and we left so early because we didn't like it. And the kids were like, can we leave?
Starting point is 00:19:40 And we were just like, we're just punishing ourselves. Let's leave. I'm sure the intermission is just after this song and then like eight songs later. Oh my God. And it must be a lot of pressure on parents during intermission to hold back from buying every candy imaginable.
Starting point is 00:19:57 Yeah. Well, that wasn't one for kids. Like it was, I mean, it was appropriate for kids, but it wasn't. It wasn't everybody. Yeah, it wasn't like a kid's thing. Like bringing kids and they're sitting on the floor in front of the stage, right? It was at like the Stanley and it was just like a fancy theater.
Starting point is 00:20:12 Did they like it? No. No, they hated it. We hated it. We all hated it. I didn't care for it at all. Everybody was doing a great job. I just did not agree with what choice we made. There was a great opening number with like. I'm not interested in this version of this story. Oh, it was a musical. Yeah. There was a great opening number with... I'm not interested in this version of this story. Oh, it was a musical.
Starting point is 00:20:27 Yeah, there was a great opening number with elves. Yeah, the first song was absolutely amazing and it was... And the elves were like... Downhill from there. They had their little feet dancing around and stuff. Very entertaining. And then every other song was just about the magic of Christmas and like, you gotta love Christmas and oh, what a magical time.
Starting point is 00:20:43 And I was just like, they can't just be doing this over. There was one part, I'm sure I talked about this. You must have. But I was like, there was like a scene where they go skating. It's supposed to be Rockefeller Center. Oh yeah. And Elf and his girlfriend.
Starting point is 00:20:57 Jobe. Yeah, they show up. And there's people skating on roller skates, on roller blades. That's pretty good. And they show up with their roller blades and you're like, well, surely we're not going to have to sit through them. Putting on their roller blades.
Starting point is 00:21:13 This is just going to be like they're passing through talking about skating. No, the whole scene. Oh, it's just them putting on their roller blades? Yeah, and then finally they skate and you're like, it was just, it was too long. It was a lot. Look at the, uh, my problem is with the, you know, the book and the music, not, not the concept or the performance thing. Yeah. Was it, was Elf good?
Starting point is 00:21:34 Whoever played Elf? Yeah, he was great. But also I think like we were also in his shitty mood, all of us in the beginning. And the more earnest they were, the more, the four of us in the beginning and more earnest they were the more the four of us were just like yeah like we're real and Grinch and now just like these fucking people oh you know I know Dave hates theater it's less and less though I've been even warming up to it. Okay. How about you? I find it very uncomfortable. Really? I don't care for it. Go on. Also dancing. I don't like watching. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:22:14 You don't like watching people dance? No, not live. Not in front of me. I want a screen between us. What's your favorite? I want safety of a screen between us. What's your favorite screening of a dancing thing? Be it a movie or a TV show? Oh, boy. I don't know. I mean- Step up to the streets? Step up to the streets is pretty great.
Starting point is 00:22:35 That one scene in 10 Things I Hate About You where Cat's dancing on the table to like Biggie or Tupac or something and she's wasted at the house party. What's the one where Usher's the DJ and everybody's lined up? Well, it's Cisco. No, but Usher's the one too. Yeah, in the high school dance. But you're thinking-
Starting point is 00:22:54 I'm thinking of Get Over It. Get Over It. No, I'm thinking of the one- Is it a horror movie? No. No, it's- Is it the faculty or something? Freddie Prinze and-
Starting point is 00:23:04 She's All That? I think she's all that. Maybe. Yeah. It's been a long time since I've seen that one. Wait, is she's all that the one I'm thinking of? Rachel Leacook? Cisco is not and she's all that. Yeah, no, it's us or baby.
Starting point is 00:23:15 Anyway. Isn't it great that Freddie Prinze Jr. and Sarah Michelle Geller are still together after all these years? I love it, I love it for them. Yeah, I felt- Good for them. Didn't Renee Witherspoon, Reese Witherspoon rather,
Starting point is 00:23:30 didn't they just split up? Oh, a couple years ago. Yeah, but I was bummed when that happened. I was like, these two crazy kids can't make it, you know? When your husband's an adulterer, what are you gonna do? Yeah, that's true, it's hard to- He didn't have the-
Starting point is 00:23:42 And you're married to Reese Witherspoon, he has quite a powerhouse. Yeah. Like I can't imagine fucking with her and coming out on skates. I mean, yeah. You know, she's nice, but she don't fucking take you on the knees. She's good. I mean, both of them, I think, kind of had cruel intentions. You know, it's kind of undeniable at this point. Looking back, you know, with hindsight. They sort of made dangerous liaisons. And reap the rewards and consequences. Did you guys kind of like, it was nice when Ashton Kutcher and Emila Kunis got married? Was that kind of a nice? That's kind of a nice moment. Didn't they meet when she was 13 and he was 20? Or like, wasn't she on the show super young and?
Starting point is 00:24:22 Yeah, that's right. Yeah Anyways wish wish them the best. Yeah, we love Ashton. Who was he with before Demi? Fez was he with Fez? No Fez was fucking Lindsay Lohan who was also underage. Yeah He was? Yeah, cause he's a creep, too. Look at how he's creeped. Shit, shit, shit.
Starting point is 00:24:49 I just watched. Well, but the rules were different in the 70s when they made that show. But isn't like, didn't, and then didn't everyone come to Danny Masterson's defense? Yes. Except Tover Grace. Tover Grace is the only person with a spine.
Starting point is 00:25:03 And he's like a nice dorky guy who spends his time re-editing Star Wars. That's right. Yeah, he's got a nerdy hobby. I like that. I like somebody who's just got a nerd thing. Just find something he likes doing, right? Like if you were going to go through his computer, it'd be all like, what best software for re-edits 2023?
Starting point is 00:25:25 Yeah, best Star Wars final. Best Star Wars final too. Best Star Wars super final. Best Star Wars, I mean it this time, final. Is that what he does? Is it Star Wars or is it something else? I don't know what he does. Galaxy Quest?
Starting point is 00:25:38 No, I don't know. Re-editing Galaxy Quest. He just edits all the Earth parts out and it's just aliens. It's, you know, George Lucas is one of the only directors where his cut made it worse. Yeah. I can't think of anybody else is like. No, I think there's probably plenty of. Like who? It's debatable. I think there's a lot of movies that are like whatever the director's cut.
Starting point is 00:26:03 Sure, like Blade Runner and Dune and. Didn't it feel like we all had to watch his director's cuts because. Yeah he made a big deal about them. You know like I cannot see Blade Runner that's fine. Oh you mean when he re-re-edited. Yeah he re-edited yeah yeah yeah. I guess this was the Snyder cut better or worse. That was the same.
Starting point is 00:26:21 Just longer. Longer. Things made more sense in the four-hour version because Explain them and then you realize that should have just been two fucking movies Was that the one that was in the black and white there was a the time like before? Superman joins in the time after me or something I forget there's like one big thing in the middle that happens And I'm just making two fucking movies now. I've sat through this whole thing was His black and white or was it like four by three
Starting point is 00:26:45 or something? It was different. I forget if there was something, yeah, someone was weird about it. They reshot some stuff, like the original Snyder cut. God, I suck. I think it's he's married to a person who talks about the Snyder cut.
Starting point is 00:26:59 So he knows about it. This is Dave's big Toe for Grace moment. I just feel like in the history of podcasting, there have been enough people who- Opinions and words spoken about this. And I don't have any opinion, but I'm like, was that the one where they re-shot it with the mustache on Superman
Starting point is 00:27:16 and they had to edit it out? Oh God, maybe, cause that was awful. I feel like that was- Awful, the one before. Superman versus Batman. Yeah. But what was the Snyder one before. Superman versus Batman. Yeah. But what was the Snyder cut? That's Justice League. That's Justice League.
Starting point is 00:27:29 Okay. And it goes on and on. But you're right, it does make more sense when you watch. Because there's time to explain stuff and they're not just jumping around doing shit. You're like, why are you here? Who was that? What happened?
Starting point is 00:27:38 Too many things from too many storylines, all kind of, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's also like, I always think of the Jerry Seinfeld uh though but it's also like i always think of the jerry sinfield bit where it's like can't superman do what everybody else in the justice league like yeah he's you know it's superman and then it's like aquaman or i guess wonder woman aquaman cyborg whoever that is yeah flash oh yeah fly i put Flash above Cyborg personally. And then, rounding out the back, Batman. Yeah, so speaking of the Seinfeld bit, I was talking a few weeks ago about,
Starting point is 00:28:12 was there a bit in one of the episodes of Seinfeld where he, at the start of the show, where he's talking about how women, like it should be arrested if, like there should be someone enforcing that women have to have sex after a certain amount of days. What? And I did find it and- That's not a joke about nothing.
Starting point is 00:28:35 That's a joke about something. And I did find, I think it was an episode called the shoes. And the punchline is, if you don't comply, you will be issued a warrant for your embrace. Oh, God. Oh, God. Somebody floated the theory, and I think it's kind of a funny theory
Starting point is 00:28:54 that on the show Seinfeld, that Seinfeld is a bad comedian. Yes. Is the opening credits thing are never that good. He's never working. He's in town almost all the time. Other comedians hate him. Yeah, that's right. And he doesn't.
Starting point is 00:29:06 All the stuff he writes for the other guy kills. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because he does it. And yeah. Yeah, right. Well, no, he doesn't kill. He ends up doing a bunch of- Jerry's jokes now, what does he do?
Starting point is 00:29:17 I forget now. The folders get switched and George has to- Oh, gets the- Hmm. What's the, it's some corporate- Yes, it's like a presentation or something. Like motivational speaker. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:28 And then George ends up having to do a speech for the Yankees or whatever. As possible. What's the deal with Oval Teen? They should call it Round Teen. Yes, okay. But that does seem like a Jerry Seinfeld bit to talk about why is it called Oval Teen. They think it should be called Round Teen. Okay. But that does seem like a Jerry Seinfeld bit to talk about why is it called a roundeen.
Starting point is 00:29:45 I think it should be called roundeen. Absolutely. But what's, what do you say? The cans round, the cups round. And why do we call it roundeen? I don't think of a cup as a round. Yeah. Anyways, Seinfeld, you're doing great things out there. Yeah. Yeah. Keep at it. Yeah. You're like a macho man.
Starting point is 00:30:04 Yeah. Awesome. Yeah. Seeing him on, keep at it. Yeah, you're like a macho man. Keep talking to microphones, yeah, awesome. Yeah, seeing him on Bill Maher's podcast was a real revelation. Did he go on? Yeah, in the club random? Yeah, and he kept talking about how much he loved Larry King. He thought Larry King was the best. Oh, that's good.
Starting point is 00:30:19 And then he was like. How relevant and interesting. I miss Larry King. Bring him back to life. That Larry King. We do not don't go out for people for not being relevant. On the show. That's a criteria then.
Starting point is 00:30:36 Well, that's good. Now you watch you're the sci-fi, nerdy comic book superhero. Yes. What in your opinion, because there's so many of them, what's been the best superhero movie of like the last, let's say 15 years? Ooh, so like pretty much all of them.
Starting point is 00:30:52 All of them. Post-Spider-Man. I guess that would be- Iron Man? 22 years would be Spider-Man. Yeah. I don't know. I know, I don't mean to put you on the spot.
Starting point is 00:31:01 Like, do you mean like, I guess Marvel or DC, I guess. Not any DC ones, because they all suck. Oh wow. I think there's one series that's pretty good. Well, Wonder Woman 1 was pretty great. What about Batman? Batman cam go kick rocks. Really?
Starting point is 00:31:16 To do a hump of stuff? The Dark Knight ones? Oh, okay. So you're, this is- That's all right. I mean, they all do different, they're all kind of doing different things, which I can appreciate. There's different Batman, I mean, they all do different, they're all kind of doing different things, which I can appreciate.
Starting point is 00:31:25 There's different Batman. I'm interested in this list now. I wanna, give me one in the top five. Oh. You got Wonder Woman's, okay. I'm trying, okay, so I can't do Star Wars because that's not, I'm just trying to like categorize my sci-fi in my head.
Starting point is 00:31:40 But also, would you put Star Wars in it? Well, like. I guess. Rogue One, fucking. Oh, sure, but that's not superhero. Exactly, that's why I'm trying to like separate Star Wars in it? Well, like, I guess. Rogue One, fucking rules. Oh, sure, but that's not superhero. Exactly, that's what I'm trying to like separate Star Wars. Okay, Rogue One, high up the list. High on the list, amazing.
Starting point is 00:31:53 I mean, if it's sci-fi, she can choose a bunch of them. Right. It's true. Well, it's really good. I'm totally drawing a blank now. I love the original, the first Captain Marvel. Oh yeah? Yeah, I still haven't seen the second one.
Starting point is 00:32:06 It's like literally the only Marvel movie I have not seen. Captain Marvel, the Brie Larson movie? Yeah. No. Yeah. I saw that. Yeah. It was junk.
Starting point is 00:32:14 Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Not if you're a woman who were up in the nineties and like dude, shitty dudes getting the absolute bananas kicked out of them. I forgot about the bananas. Yeah, those Jude Law bananas are fucking Banana bread by the end of it. Wait, what? Why did you law have a nice heart? I don't think we're talking about No, that was pretty good, but there was other ones like I'm totally trying to blank
Starting point is 00:32:41 Oh, what about I mean like I've seen every single one. What are the marvels? Like Black Panther and- Oh, the first Black Panther was stupendous. Absolutely amazing, stunning, interesting, compelling. I was actually talking about this the other day with somebody at work. Infinity War and whatever, the last two- Ultron. No, there was- Fuck, I'm not playing. Age of Zoltan.
Starting point is 00:33:03 Age of Zoltan. I did not play Age of Zoltan. Oh, Age of Zoltan, yeah. Age of Zoltan. Infinity War. Infinity War and Endgame, those two. Endgame. Very good, very, very good. Everybody was in Endgame.
Starting point is 00:33:13 And it's been downhill since then. What? You're talking about League of Eternals or? Yeah. Yeah. Or Madame Web? Madame Web. Madame Web is, Madame Webb? Madame Webb. Madame Webb is, I think we learned that it's different.
Starting point is 00:33:28 It's not MCU. It's that weird secondary Sony Spider-Man. Morbius. Yes. Venom? Absolutely. Yeah, Venom's in there. Yeah, there's a new Venom one coming out too.
Starting point is 00:33:39 I watched that, Ben. But Venom was in the last. Tom Hardy was also in the last Spider-Man too, I think. There's only one Venom as far as I'm concerned, I'm just over Grace. Over Grace! My boy, over Grace. He's the venom that, he won't stand behind
Starting point is 00:33:53 some sort of disgusting controversy. I'm a very big Loki fan, the TV show Loki. Oh yeah. I thought that was absolutely great. I think Tom Hiddleston's amazing, very clever. It's a time travel show, Which can get very dicey very quickly because they just chalk everything up to time travel and they don't explain anything.
Starting point is 00:34:10 And you're like, okay, great. If you say so. Whereas this, they really like go into it and it's cool and like. Is Tom Hiddleston hot? Is he a handsome? Yes, his moments, sure. Yeah, I just think of him as being kind of just a,
Starting point is 00:34:21 just a regular looking guy. Tall and skinny. Tall and skinny. With a very angular face. And a British accent. So regular looking guy. Tall and skinny. Tall and skinny. With a very angular face and a British accent. Yeah, I get him. I get him. I'm kind of annoying sometimes.
Starting point is 00:34:30 Did he briefly date Taylor Swift? He did. And he wore that I Heart TS tank top. Yeah, what a joker. I was thirsty. What a rascal. I really do wonder what Taylor Swift is like. Like, you know, outside of just being on stage, you think she's easy to get along with? You think she's like, do you think she's funny?
Starting point is 00:34:52 Seems like she might be kind of funny. I think she'd be funny. Yeah, I think she'd be funny. I think it would be hard to be friends with her because you'd be like... She comes to be writing songs about you. And she's so busy. She's always on the road. She's...
Starting point is 00:35:04 Yeah. She's so busy. She's always on the road. She's yeah, she has already recorded 34 versions of the dead poet society or whatever Recent album it's called are these like the Snyder cut of yeah Well, she's put out like a bunch of vinyls and like acoustic versions 34 versions of the same album now She's like she's an absolute work girl. slow down, take a minute. Yeah, no. Go to Santorini or something, like chill out. But maybe she can't do that, maybe she's the kind of person that just has to, you know, do stuff all the time. And she has the money and resources and.
Starting point is 00:35:35 Yeah. And we keep giving her that money. Yeah, man. Every time we stream those tunes. Yeah, bro. Yeah, there was like, wasn't there a famous picture of her maybe, Haim? Haim? Haim? Yeah, on a boat. That's the last time I ever saw her like, seeming like a human being.
Starting point is 00:35:51 I mean, she goes to football games and celebrates. They seem very chill, those football games. I'm sure it's a super chill experience to go and hang out with your new boyfriend's fucking whole family. But also, I In my private box. I'll bring my friends Iced Spice and... Carly Claus or whoever. And you bring your friends... football... Football man, racist football man. Who's racist?
Starting point is 00:36:18 All of them. No. Come on. Not John Man, is he dead? Is he alive? Well, recipe. So we can talk about him or... No, I don't know. Let's not talk about it, Kori. Or is he is he dead? Is he alive? Oh, recipe. So we can talk about him or? Yeah, no, I don't know. Let's not talk about it, Kori. Or is he just the one football guy you know?
Starting point is 00:36:30 I mean, I know- Talking from somebody who only knows him too. Yeah, I don't know. How many football men can you name? I know. You can name the goat. The goat is- Yeah, but who is the goat?
Starting point is 00:36:42 People of Tom Brady. Yes, a few women went 80 for him. Gotcha. And isn't there a guy, isn't he Tony Roma? Yeah. It's a great place for ribs. Yeah. Was he married to Jessica Simpson?
Starting point is 00:36:57 He dated her. Or he dated her, anyway. Colin Kaepernick. Colin Kaepernick, yeah. Was it Tony Romo is famous? Oh, maybe it's Tony Romo. Was it at the steakhouse? One's famous for ribs and one's a football player. Tony Romo is famous for ribs.
Starting point is 00:37:10 Okay, so Tony Romo, yeah. Okay. Then there's the guy that has really beautiful head of hair that's in the Dandruff commercial. Sure. Yeah, great head of hair. There was a guy that would like turn into a total hippie and was forced to come back and do his contract
Starting point is 00:37:27 on the Miami Dolphins. Was it Ricky Williams? Yes, Ricky Williams. He went away and like lived in a yurt. Comlian or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he lost all this weight in not a bad way, but then came back and he was like puny compared to,
Starting point is 00:37:41 yeah, he'd lost all that like conditioned muscle. It's a sport you kind of need that for. Yeah, have you guys ever, like, sometimes they show films of a football game where they've shot and edited so that it looks like, like they actually shot them on film. I could watch those all day. Yeah, those are so good. I find when I, like, anytime I have to,
Starting point is 00:38:01 I haven't needed to do this for a while, but like, on some shows I've worked on, there's like a huge music library you can use. Oh, sure. And there's actually like, you know, dozens of music libraries and one of them is NFL films. Yeah. And they have.
Starting point is 00:38:15 Oh, just different kinds of. Different kinds of. Moody music. Mostly like ruckus, like pseudo military drums. Yeah. Beat aggressive-ish, sure. Yeah. I would watch football, but I don't have cable anymore,
Starting point is 00:38:30 so I'm not gonna sit and watch it on my computer. We didn't have to pay who knows how much for, who knows. Yeah, yeah, and it's like fine, you know what I mean? Like I don't care who wins or whatever. As long as they get concussions, I don't care who wins. As long as everyone ends up with some kind of trauma, that shortens their lives. TBI. TMI.
Starting point is 00:38:49 What? Yeah, I saw an interview with the guy who's the head guy of UFC, Dana White. And he said his thing that makes it- I thought his name was Dan A. White. I would say Dan A. White the whole time. I thought his name was Dan A. White. I was saying Dan A. White at the same time. I thought his name was Dan A. W. Height. But he was saying the difference between him and boxing and football is he spends a fortune on medical care.
Starting point is 00:39:17 So that anybody who gets rocked in the ring is sent directly to the hospital and made sure everything's okay. So they can die in a hospital. Well, you did as much as you could, you know? But yeah, he also had Donald Trump ringside, so he's a complicated. I mean, no one's perfect. He slapped his wife around in public, ongoing feuds with people.
Starting point is 00:39:42 You know what I think was really, really cute was when Jake Paul and Tyson were at the weigh-in and Tyson started tickling him. Oh my God, that was great. I mean. That was the best. I know it's totally like a publicity stunt and this is like kangaroo court or whatever.
Starting point is 00:40:00 Like there's no sanctioning body that should allow this fight. Yeah, exactly. But I'm really kind of, I'm really interested. Yeah, me too. It's happening in July, isn't it? No, it's been delayed because he has, Tyson has an ulcer. Oh.
Starting point is 00:40:12 So he can't train, I know of all the things like. I have goat. Yeah, just put like also like, oh yeah, I forgot he's 60. Yeah, exactly. He's got to wait for his cholesterol to come down. Yeah, and he, I guess he needs the money. I guess that's the only reason that you'd, or maybe it's pride, he's got a little pride.
Starting point is 00:40:29 Yeah, narcissism, who knows. Yeah, but it's money. But also that is definitely part of it. Or it could be, you know, again, brain trauma. Yeah, yeah, yeah, there you go. Yeah, come back to that for sure. Yeah, there's a documentary about it, it's really good. I bet.
Starting point is 00:40:44 I bet it's quite a compelling story. Yeah, he definitely had some rough things in his childhood. But he's fine now. But he's got those pigeons. Yeah, he loves his pigeons. Yeah, he loves his pigeons. There's someone in our neighborhood who keeps pigeons. And you don't think he lives in our neighborhood, do you?
Starting point is 00:40:58 I've never seen the person, I've only seen the pigeons. Yeah, although I can hear over the fence him wanting to let out the pigeons. No. Yeah, oh my god. That was pretty good. I can hear seen the pigeons. Yeah, although I can hear over the fence him wanting to let out the pigeons. Oh my god. That was pretty good. I can hear over the fence. Hey, hey. You hate pigeons.
Starting point is 00:41:10 Time to go out guys. Time to go for a flight. He had no choice but to be strong and fighting. That was his voice. The only way to survive. But every day at like dinner time, there's like a- They do big loops in the late afternoon. A lot of pigeons that go around for like an hour. I feel like I'm gonna be fighting. Like that was the voice. The only way to survive. But every day at like dinner time, there's like a-
Starting point is 00:41:26 They do big loops in the late afternoon. A flock of pigeons that go around for like an hour. Nice. Flock of pigeons, not as popular as flock of seagulls, but they charted. Yeah, at the other moment. Yeah. Yeah, it's a funny hobby having birds
Starting point is 00:41:46 Right like this in general. It feels like a train Yeah, it feels like it's gotta be hard to keep them from spreading disease. Yes, and also just like flying away You know, it just seems like you can't have them leashed. You know, the thing is all the pigeons that exist today only exists because people you had them as pets a hundred years ago and bred the shit out of them. And then our lifestyle moved on from being able to have the places to keep them because of, this is going to get into it.
Starting point is 00:42:14 I work with people who are bird people. So I've been learning. Oh really? Yes. Oh, that's fantastic. But yeah, they all used to be pets. Like it's not a wild animal. They were bred to be pets.
Starting point is 00:42:26 Or so my internet... Your bird people. My Wikipedia's been telling me. Also, I've done my own research. Called Doing Your Own Research. You should do your own research. Look into it. Well, pigeons.
Starting point is 00:42:35 Yeah, so now we bred them to be docile and stupid, and now they're taking over the world, because they're fucking docile and stupid. Yeah, yeah. And we were just like, fuck you. We don't need you anymore Yeah, my weird. I saw I saw a bird everybody just kicked out every cat. He's like, yep. We're not doing this anymore They would be like in a kind of a plaza they would be ruining things I'd be planning our demise. I mean the the pigeons would be in trouble Yeah, no shit. They've got that pigeon.
Starting point is 00:43:07 Maybe they'd band together, who knows? Some kind of cat pigeon. Yeah, some sort of cat riding pigeon, pigeon riding cat. Pigeon riding cat, I think visually that's the one that makes it, although cat riding a pigeon is pretty funny. It depends on the cat again.
Starting point is 00:43:21 Yeah, yeah, but like dogs, dogs, if they were out in the world, they'd be fine, right? Or were they- Some of them are really dumb and have no sense of self-preservation at all. Yeah. Pandas is another one.
Starting point is 00:43:34 Yeah. You couldn't put pandas out because they're gonna die instantly. Yeah, they need help. They need support. Yeah. They're so dumb and so clunky. But we love the way they look, don't we folks? Oh, it's such a good look.
Starting point is 00:43:48 It really is. How like totally identifiable. I could draw one. Yeah. Symbol of the WWF, I think. Yeah. Pandas. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:58 Yeah. And you know, superstars in China, they love them. They love them. And then if Panda comes over here in Tuzhu, that becomes the big deal. Big deal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Our story them. They love them. And then if Panda comes over here in Tuzhou, that becomes the big story of the week. Big deal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Another story in the news.
Starting point is 00:44:09 Yeah, Panda's here. Get your Panda. Lingling's here. Yeah, there was, it happened when I was a kid in Calgary. I'll never forget it. It was a... I was listening back to it, not to interrupt your story, but I will interrupt your story because it just makes me laugh so much. I forget where I heard it. It was your old podcast, but it was an old episode about the advertising awards.
Starting point is 00:44:32 Oh, yeah. The kid, the person in the panda stand. We re-recorded that with Ryan. Oh my God, I'm gonna fuck that panda. I forgot some of those details. And the panda is still on the artwork down in Chinatown. Oh, sure, the'm gonna fuck that panda. I forgot some of those details. And the panda is still on the like, artwork down in Chinatown. Oh sure, the sexiest panda around.
Starting point is 00:44:49 Oh yeah, symbol, and every time I see it, I'm like, I'm gonna fuck that panda. I forget his name. Oh. Oh, it was Jade or something? It was something. Right. Culturally relevant-ish.
Starting point is 00:44:59 Yeah, to Chinatown. Oh my gosh, anyway, I'm gonna fuck that panda. Dave, what's going on with you, man? Oh my God, that's such a good question. So, Abby's the big action movie, sci-fi movie, superhero movie person. There's really a big divide that has happened in our watching things, where I only like things
Starting point is 00:45:18 that take place in the imaginary world, and Dave only likes things that take place in the real world. Because, you know, there's not a lot of quiet talking scenes in a hulk friend explosion. Yeah, give me no romantic subplot and explosions. Can you imagine if it was Thor and And the Incredible Hulk and they were just in offices the whole time. Yeah Working on a story their investigative journalists working on a story Hulk is like, you know, Hulk, you can handle the headlines because, you know, it's
Starting point is 00:45:50 just a few words strung together. It doesn't need to be ascented. You don't have to put the word smash in everything. You can use different words. So Rico charges smash? Follow Hulk, follow money. Hulk get interview with witness. Should we let Hulk out on this interview or should we maybe Thor can handle the interview?
Starting point is 00:46:18 No Thor is busy writing the whole article. Hey Hulk, can you promise you don't get too angry? Hulk promise. Wink. And then Hulk goes out to his car and he sees he's got a parking ticket. Back to you, sorry, Dan. Yeah, my favorite kind of movie is what?
Starting point is 00:46:41 Paperwork. Paperwork movie. Soft talking movie. Soft talking, where people in offices. Yeah. Yeah, discussions. Rooms with closed doors. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:51 And what is my favorite quiet activity? Puzzles? Yeah. Yeah. Well, there's a movie. Oh no! This is amazing. That was advertised to me on my Instagram feed
Starting point is 00:47:04 like two years ago. And I was like, what is this movie? Tell me more. It's called Puzzle. Okay. Puzzle. And it is about Kelly McDonald. Okay. Who is-
Starting point is 00:47:17 Goddish actress, Kelly McDonald. Goddish actress, the voice of Merida from Brave. Yes, from Brave. One of the, the woman from Trainspotting. Yes. Oh yeah, yeah. She was, what's her face in Boardwalk Empire. Yes.
Starting point is 00:47:31 She was married to the bass player from Travis. There you go, Colin Donald. And she is like this sort of doormat wife. Okay. And she's in, outside New York. I think they're in like Connecticut. In Connecticut, she's having a miserable time. Yeah, and she's got three boys, two or three boys.
Starting point is 00:47:53 She's married to the guy who was Pam's original boyfriend on the office. Okay, yeah, big tall guy. Oh yeah, yeah. And it starts with like... He seems like he can play a real thickhead. Yeah, he plays kind of a selfish husband. And they're at a...
Starting point is 00:48:10 She's setting up for a birthday party and then they're at the birthday party and she's making a cake and a plate breaks and she's like trying to put the pieces back together in this plate and it's kind of unlocking something. And then at the end of the party, you realize it's her birthday party and she's made the party, she's baked the cake, she brought it out. She invited everybody.
Starting point is 00:48:33 Yeah. Her husband did no work and she's unhappy. Dump that loser. Well, she finds something else and one of the presents she got for her birthday was a puzzle. She was able to do it super fast. Is it called puzzle or the puzzle?
Starting point is 00:48:52 It's called puzzle. Puzzle, okay. It feels like a faith-based movie. Yeah. Yay. Through the power of Jesus, I complete this puzzle at a record rate. Or it's like a horror movie. Also, it could be called puzzle.
Starting point is 00:49:04 Oh, yeah. Jigsaw. J horror movie, also could be called puzzle. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Jigsaw. Jigsaw, absolutely. Game over, slam. Anyway, so she is, she's in this small town that's like, apparently an hour from New York.
Starting point is 00:49:19 Right. Okay. And she's never been to New York. Okay. Or she rarely goes to New York. And she's like, oh, she looks oh, she asks the woman who got her the puzzle for her birthday that she did super fast. She's like, where did you get that? Oh, there's a puzzle store in New York.
Starting point is 00:49:33 And she gets on the train. My mom's gonna love this. As she gets on the train, when she realized it's a puzzle store, does I Feel Good by James Brown play? I Feel Good. Yep. Okay, that's a puzzle store. It does, I Feel Good by James Brown play. I feel good. Yep. Okay, that's a good trailer. That's a good trailer. Record scratch.
Starting point is 00:49:49 I feel good. And then. She looks right in the camera. And she's, oh, it's like, she just got her first cell phone and everyone's like, oh, you just got all these apps on it and you can do this with it. And she's like, oh, I don't want a cell phone. And she gets on the train,
Starting point is 00:50:08 and everyone's looking at their phones, and she's like, ah. Bunch of losers. What's wrong with this world? Yeah. And she gets her ticket to New York, and the guy says, oh, you can get a monthly pass, and it's much cheaper.
Starting point is 00:50:21 And she's like, I don't think I'll be going back to New York again. Oh my gosh. She's like. She isn't falling in love with New York, but it's just with the weirdest thing that like you live in our outside of New York and you're so completely sheltered from like, at one point her son brings home his girlfriend and she's a vegetarian and she's never heard of sure. It might as well be an alien. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:42 Oh, well, do you, I should have made fish. Do you eat fish? No, I should have made fish. Do you eat fish? No, I'm a vegetarian. It's like, yeah, I was learning about Buddhism and I decided to become a vegetarian. What's Buddhism? So this is somebody who's like not a curious type.
Starting point is 00:50:58 Yeah. No. Like certain way that her things are and. And then, so she goes to the puzzle store and she wants looking for a thousand piece puzzle. Yeah. Which everyone's like really a thousand piece puzzle? Wow. Which is what... It's fine. It's fine. Takes a couple days. Normal amount of puzzle pieces. And is this set in current day? Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 00:51:22 Cell phones man. Yeah sure but you know, that's a long, man. They were cell phones, I'm just 1997. Yeah, it could have been, well, apps. It could have been a smartphone, okay. And so she goes to the puzzle store and she sees an ad of someone looking for a puzzle partner. And she writes- That's a thing.
Starting point is 00:51:39 And it turns out he's a competitive puzzler. Okay, now she's really got her number. And now we're opening the world up to this little lady. And then so she goes in and meets this guy at the actor Irfan Khan. Oh sure, an older Indian actor? Sure, Pakistani maybe, I forget. South Asian, sure. Sure. He's since passed away. Yes. Not that much older. I'd say he's like mid-50s. Sure. Okay. And he says, oh, I'm looking for a partner for the National Jigsaw Puzzle Championship. Ooh, nice.
Starting point is 00:52:13 And he, and so she like starts meeting with him and she's like lying to her family about why she's- Oh, you're sure why she's going away every Saturday morning or whatever, yeah. Oh yeah, my aunt broke her ankle and she needs someone to check on her. So is this what you would call an emotional affair that they're having?
Starting point is 00:52:30 Oh. Something like that. Sort of. Puzzling, emotional affair. She's only into the puzzle and she's like teaching her puzzle technique and she's like, no, I don't want to do it that way. I see colors. Oh my gosh. Oh boy. This is like the queen's gambit of puzzles.
Starting point is 00:52:44 Yeah, and so she's a natural. He's like, oh, well, you gotta do the edges first. No, you don't. No, I don't. Oh, so Dave and I have conflicting puzzle styles. He does edges, I do words and faces first. Oh, okay, sure. That's just, but there you go.
Starting point is 00:52:59 How do you guys make it work? It's a good team. Yeah, okay. We don't get in each other's way. Okay, yeah, you're working around the perimeter where're working around the perimeter I'm up late at night she's up early in the morning we shift up anyway she catches feelings oh yeah so they're good well she's she he's like if we win the nationals, then we'll go to the world. Then we'll fuck They're doing the most erotic
Starting point is 00:53:33 Yeah, you do the edges of the dong yeah, yeah more Georgia O'Keeffe But If they win the nationals, they're gonna go to the World Championships in Belgium. And he's a defending national champion. I didn't mention that. And I was expecting, I was expecting it to be more enjoyable. Oh, really? It wasn't? No, it's sort of like... Spoiler alert, spoiler alert, spoiler alert. Do they fall in love? They fuck. Okay.
Starting point is 00:54:04 Oh, boy. I mean, everyone was very handsome. And do they fall in love they fuck okay boy I mean our phone is very handsome and do they have different ways of fucking yeah he fucks she fucks sort of by feel yeah really should be doing the opposite and then it's yeah I was sort of expecting this movie but a woman doing puzzles for hours to be more exciting. I'm gonna puzzle it for hours in my basement. And the parts about her inner life suck. I just want to watch them puzzle. Yeah. You gotta set up the dichotomy of her life though, right?
Starting point is 00:54:35 Yeah. Yeah. So, but like, I won't spoil it, but you know. There you go. They go all the way in terms of puzzling and in terms of physical love and like remember how we were talking about I think of the last episode like I watched a movie for elevator mechanics Yeah, and there was like whip it was for this is for puzzlers. Yeah, this is for puzzle We have the puzzle. The problem is this is the perfect movie for me Yeah, because it's about paper like and it's the right pace for me. I just didn't like it. I didn't buy her as like this middle America person who travels to New York every day. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:14 Yeah. Interesting. Anyway, check out puzzle. Take a puzzle. It's on demand. It's on Netflix. Here's the bad thing about this. Okay. It was on, it was $5 to rent. Okay. Or $5 to own. And now we own puzzle. At $5, the rental was standard definition, but to own it, it was in high definition. Okay, which is what you want.
Starting point is 00:55:38 So I now own puzzle. Nice. You can go back and watch the parts you like. Yeah. And pass it on to the rest. Yes. Yeah, the parts where they're putting together. The parts where back and watch the parts you like. Yeah. And pass the words through the rest. The puzzle parts. Yes. Yeah, the parts where they're putting together a puzzle.
Starting point is 00:55:48 The parts where Roy is being... Their genitals. Boink. Yeah. I guess in a lot of ways sex is sort of... You know, one female, one male part. I'm like, what are you looking at? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:56 Sex is sort of like the original puzzle. Yeah, it's God's puzzle. I mean, the female body is still a... Still a puzzle to you. ...complete mystery to me. Anyway, check out puzzle. Yeah. Or double, whatever.
Starting point is 00:56:04 Now you know what I mean. Still a puzzle to you. Complete mystery to me. Oh. Anyway, check out Puzzle. Yeah. Or Dome, whatever. Yeah. Now you know all about it. I absolutely don't. I'm gonna see how, it's so annoying when you buy a movie
Starting point is 00:56:15 and then you see it on your screen and you're like, I don't want to cover it. You have to look at it, yeah. Yeah. How do I take this out of my collection? Yeah, I have, or had for a long time, the last Spider-Man movie I purchased instead of yes just renting. I haven't watched it again there. Yeah, it's a Holland yeah
Starting point is 00:56:33 You know the other guys Was the other one pussy party pussy party And that's all part of the cinematic universe is. They made it all work. Pussy Posse is part of the cinematic universe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Spider-Man's a member of it, Dr. Doom. I've read some articles about them.
Starting point is 00:56:55 They're terrible. What? Dave, get out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look up members of the Pussy Posse. My favorite guy is the guy from Mad Men who grew a beard and had like those for that. He was like the hippie-esque guy. Back in the day.
Starting point is 00:57:17 He was just the lucky nerd who was in the right place at the right time to make friends with these bozos. Ah, right on their way up kind of thing. And they all beat up Elizabeth Berkeley's boyfriend and give him permanent eye damage. These guys, man. Good posse. Real winners. Good posse, good movie, good puzzles. What's going on with you?
Starting point is 00:57:39 Well, here we go. We're recording many episodes back to back, so I was like, I got to go do something. Because Graham, you're going to Europe. You're going to burn that content, baby. I episodes back to back. So I was like, I gotta go do something. Because Graham, you're going to Europe. I'm going to Europe. I'm going to Paris. I'm going to Berlin. I'm going to Belfast.
Starting point is 00:57:51 I'm doing it. Do you have a passport? All the B's. Yes, I have a passport. Yes, and you know what? The other night I was thinking about it because I was like, oh yeah, I just sat up in the middle of the night,
Starting point is 00:58:02 like, home alone, like, Kevin! I was like, passport! So I just sat up in the middle of the night like, home alone like, Kevin! I was like, passport! So yes, it's all good. You'll love it. I had a dream last night that I was in Paris and Abby and I went to the same restaurant three times. That is a very Dave-esque dream, but with a fancy backdrop. Not only is that a good Dave dream,
Starting point is 00:58:25 but it's also kind of representational of how we travel sometimes too. It's like, let's just go back to that Lebanese place. Yeah, that was good. Yeah, let's just go back to that. I don't need to try every food in this city. But yeah, going away. So in the meantime, I was like, I gotta do something.
Starting point is 00:58:41 I gotta do something, so I have something to talk about. So, deep puzzle. This weekend, I went and saw Sumo Wrestling. Oh, where? Japan. It was, I went to Japan, and it was at, can't remember, it was at high school, it was in a high school gym.
Starting point is 00:58:57 Okay. And it was during- Here in the city or in December? Here in the city. Okay. Yeah, here in the city, right down, right down in the east side, kind of Hastings Sunrise S area.
Starting point is 00:59:07 That's really cool. And it was not a school event. No, this was a club doing their like, you know. Recital. Yeah, this was their recital, thank you, yes. This was locals, not like a touring show. It was locals and there were people who had flown in for it. Okay.
Starting point is 00:59:26 All right. So it was different weight classes and the first weight class was co-ed. So it went more by weight than anything. Sure, than anything, yeah. Yeah. Makes sense for that sort of activity. And man, SUMO's the best.
Starting point is 00:59:43 It's the best, it's the best of all just chucking each other Were there like different weight classes, yeah, there was guys in diapers There was little guys and that was kind of the co-ed group and then there was the heavyweights Uh-huh, and but I love it because it doesn't take any time at all like It's real satisfying matches on to match finish at most a minute. So did they have the kind of like ring that's like, yeah, sand? No, they had a ring that was something else that was symbolic of something in Japan. Oh, like a sacred thing where they have to like throw salt or something.
Starting point is 01:00:19 And they have to like crouch down at the beginning of the match and show that they have no weapons by flipping over the hands. And match and show that they have no weapons. Gotcha. And by flipping over their hands. Did anyone try to sneak a weapon in there? Yeah, there were several. Fork went flying. Oh boy. Jangle, jangle.
Starting point is 01:00:33 He's the only guy wearing a suit. Yeah. He's got like those Chippendales cuffs. Yeah. Did they all wear the diaper? Yes. I don't think it's a diaper, David. They call it a, not a thong, but they call it like a, not a codpiece.
Starting point is 01:00:53 What do I think? Diaper. A diaper, they call it a diaper. What we call jockstrap. Oh, gotcha. Okay. So they, there's a big drum thing that starts off the whole event. Tango?
Starting point is 01:01:07 What? Tango? Is that a type of drum? Yeah, it's also a remote control car. Yep, so there's Tango. And then everybody comes and sits around the ring and you have to do this thing to show you don't have a weapon. And then at the end of the match, at the beginning of the match, you got to bow.
Starting point is 01:01:25 At the end of the match, you have to bow as well. And man, it's awesome. It goes so fast. And like, so where there's like dozens of bouts. Yeah. And they were like round robin style. And then they, whoever won. Oh, so you would have to go to more than once in a thing.
Starting point is 01:01:43 It's not like wrestling where, where the guy wrestles once and you never see him again. Yeah. And that's, you know, like in high school wrestling or whatever, there's a lot of holds that just go on for ever and ever. And she's a stalemate, kind of, yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:56 This is just like wham bam, send anybody out there. You're getting chucked. Yeah, you're getting chucked, exactly. Wham bam, thank you, Japan. So there was the lightweights were really fun to watch. Those heavyweights, man, oh man, did they knock it out of the park. And there was one guy that I was like,
Starting point is 01:02:14 this guy's gonna win. He was by far the biggest guy. Everybody else was sitting cross legged on the floor. He was just standing, leaned up against the wall. The wall moved a bit. Yeah. He's gonna destroy. leaned up against the wall. The wall moved a bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, it's gonna destroy.
Starting point is 01:02:28 And at the end of the match, if you are the first place finisher, you get a big bag of rice. Sweet. And then I think second place, literal bag of rice. Small bag of rice, yeah. Third place, you're fired.
Starting point is 01:02:38 And so there was, in the heavyweights, there was that guy that was like, oh, he's so good. And then there was a guy like had a full spandex outfit that was all rainbow colored. Okay. I was like, okay, this guy's- Pride month after all. But with the jockstrap on.
Starting point is 01:02:54 With the jockstrap on, yeah. Like nobody, this was jockstraps on over clothes. Okay. But I think- Because you can grab, they can grab each other by the jockstrap, right? Yeah, which I think is probably the like technique can grab, they can grab each other by the jocks, right? Yes, yeah. Which I think is probably the like technique
Starting point is 01:03:07 that works the best. Most efficient, sure. But like you either throw them to the mat and if their back touches, if any part of them touches the mat, that's not the soles of their feet. That's it, it's over, okay. And if you get kicked out of the ring, you lose.
Starting point is 01:03:21 And so there's a lot of grabbing, grabbing around. Crotch level, I'm surprised nobody, you know, hurt themselves. No one went, eee. Yeah, there's a lot of running around the outside of the ring. Come back here. But he held music so it's going. But yeah, it was fantastic.
Starting point is 01:03:40 I think I have a new favorite sport. Did that big guy you thought was going to win, did he win? Oh, man, did he ever. Oh, yeah guy you thought was going to win, did he win? Oh, man, did he ever. Oh, yeah. No one was able to use his weight against him? No, he used his weight very smart.
Starting point is 01:03:52 It was a very smart way. Very solid and heavy. And that was the thing. It was like this guy that became the final match was the guy in the leotard. And they introduced them. There was a commentator and they said like, this guy's from so and so,
Starting point is 01:04:08 and this guy's been doing sumo since he was six years old. All right, there you go. So I was like, well, this will be a fairly quick match. Yeah, that's gonna go well. Yeah, and he just, every opponent, he just kind of like, it was down in a second. Yeah. There was no...
Starting point is 01:04:21 I remember I had a, there was a big like, I think he was Hawaiian, but he was like the first American. Oh yeah, I know who you're talking about. It was named Konoshiki? Or is that just the word that means champion? Right, like Yokozuna kind of thing. Yeah, does Yokozuna mean champion?
Starting point is 01:04:37 Yeah. Maybe then that's what I'm thinking of. But I had a picture of, there was like a Sports Illustrated story about this American sumo wrestler and the title. Was he white or was he like, Oh no, there was like a Sports Illustrated story about this American sumo wrestler and the title. Was he white or was he like? Oh no, he was like. Japanese or Polynesian or something maybe.
Starting point is 01:04:51 He wasn't white. And he, the title of the story was Meat Bomb and I had it on my wall. Just because the picture was just the words meat bomb and this guy's torso. That's pretty sweet. No context, it's pretty sweet. No context is pretty great. I don't know if you remember from the wrestling world
Starting point is 01:05:11 in the 90s, there was a guy called Earthquake. Yeah, for sure. He's from Habitsford. He was a very high ranking sumo wrestler before he was a pro wrestler. Well, I don't know if you remember from the 90s, but there was a sumo wrestler named E. Honda. He had that many hand technique.
Starting point is 01:05:25 He had a very fast hand if you tapped at the right speed. Although that Chun-Li, she had a very fast foot. That's true. And he wasn't super fast moving that guy, was he? I don't know. You could just jump over each other, it didn't really matter. That's true. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:05:40 Did you play a lot of that game? Street Fighter? Yeah. Yeah, I played it in like, this is how old I was, I am. Yeah. In an arcade. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:05:51 I don't think my friends had it at home, it was arcade. It was Sega one, wasn't it? I think it was on both eventually. I don't remember it being, because we didn't have anything, but we were a more Nintendo leaning family. Family. This is a Nintendo family. And we did not really play Street Fighter
Starting point is 01:06:04 or Street Fighter 2. What did you play? I feel like it was we didn't have a growing up I think it was Nintendo because yeah, I think I had Streets of Rage 2 which was much worse But it also but it was like a beat-em-up platformer as well. Yeah, but I remember playing it I remember playing it in arcade too though. Yeah, that's what I agree That's what I find with an arcade machine. Yeah machine. Street Fighter and also Mortal Kombat before it moved home. Yeah. Like you could only play in the arcade because parents of the world did not want you to be.
Starting point is 01:06:33 That's not allowing at home. There's no... Ripping each other's heads off. And now my kids, like all their games they play are just blood, blood, blood, blood, blood. Yeah. Ripping bodies up up hard left right and summer. What's the one they play? On Roblox? Oh, I forget. They play this game on Roblox.
Starting point is 01:06:50 I think it's called Dress to Impress. Oh, they just choose outfits. Yeah, it gives you a theme and you choose outfits. That's a fun little game. They love it. They eat it up. The theme is superhero and you gotta make your own outfit. Capes, capes, I'm gonna look at different types of cape. Although most of the superheroes now don't wear capes. I'm going to look at different types of cape.
Starting point is 01:07:05 Although most of the superheroes now don't wear capes. Just a body suit. Superman, yeah, it's body suit. Thor and Superman. No capes. Are there any superheroes who? I don't wear that type. And Namo.
Starting point is 01:07:15 Yeah. She wasn't fucking around. What's that from? The Incredibles. The Incredibles. The little agent, the little lady with the hairdo. Yeah. Was she based on somebody?
Starting point is 01:07:24 Yeah, Edith Head. Edith Head. Who was a big costume designer in like the MGM heydays. Oh, okay. All right. The hairdo and the glasses. With the hairdo and the glasses. I thought she was based on that lady from.
Starting point is 01:07:35 Ain't Iris Apple. No. Glasses and stuff. From one of the NCISs. Oh, sure. For criminal minds or something. Yeah. What's her name?
Starting point is 01:07:45 She used to be on, was it the old lady that used to be on Major Dad? Linda Hunt. Oh, yes. She was on Major Dad, right? Or am I, am I right? She was great. She was in a ton of stuff.
Starting point is 01:07:58 She was in Silverado, She-Devil, Dune, the original Dune. Yep. Oh, cool. The Year of Living Dangerously, NCIS Los Angeles, Kindergarten Cop. She-Devil Living. Well, She was a principal in Kindergarten Cop, wasn't she? Yes, she was. And She-Devil was a Roseanne vehicle. Yes, and Meryl Streep.
Starting point is 01:08:14 I remember watching that, not old enough to get all of the adult relationship subtleties, I'm sure, but getting the overall picture. I loved that movie. Really? It was great. Mind you, we were a pro-Rosanne house back in the day. I couldn't tell you who you think it was on Major Dad
Starting point is 01:08:30 looking at this cast photo. Not yet, and still am today, Rosanne still, love her politics, love her whole deal. She's out there doing it. But yes, we were very pro-Rosanne in our house. The joke was that my mom was Rosanne. Oh sure, yeah, I think that's why we weren't allowed to watch it, because we would say my mom was Rosanne. Yeah, see, Yeah, I think that's why we weren't allowed to watch it because we would say my mom was Roseanne.
Starting point is 01:08:46 Yeah, I see. Didn't want to look in the mirror, Trish. Didn't like what you saw. Aw. No Trish, we love you. You're perfect. Sumo, wrestling rules. Yes.
Starting point is 01:08:57 The best of all sports. How did you learn about this? I saw it on, because like on the weekend, it was Italian days. Oh, okay. So this was looped into that kind of like festival. It was Italian day. It was Italian day this weekend.
Starting point is 01:09:10 Yeah, yeah. Oh man, I ate some delicious. Interesting that it was attached to Italian days and not Japanese. I think it was. Cultural market that have, anyway, whatever. There's enough love to go around. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 01:09:23 There's enough love to go around. There's enough love to go around. But yeah, rules you guys. What did you have at Italian Days? Oh, I had like a polenta mozzarella sauce concoction. Oh, tasty. What did you put it on? My hands. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:09:38 My hands and then into my mouth. Into my polenta bowl. Italian Days is tough now that you're gluten free. Yeah, it really was. But I found it. Polenta. Exactly, there's always something I can find. Polenta corn or something, I forget what polenta is. I think it's corn.
Starting point is 01:09:50 Or is it its own wheat? I don't know. It's not wheat. Or you know what I mean, like a grain. A grain, I think it's a grain. I think you're right. Like bulger. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:10:01 It is, mm-mm-mm-mm, a dish of boiled cornmeal that was historically made from other grains. Well, thanks. Well, then thanks for nothing, Interwebs. It's Italian, right, Polenta? Yeah. I'm sure people eat it, but. The market that we went to was called Soba, I think. And man, if you wanted some sort of canned any kind of sauce and also a jarred artichokes, et cetera,
Starting point is 01:10:29 every pepper you get, they go the best. Yeah, those little, those little. Was it soba or bosa? Maybe it's bosa. Bosa! Yeah, that's a good one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you know what goes to support your local
Starting point is 01:10:40 Sumo Club? Yeah, Victoria, isn't it? Yeah, down there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, down that way, yeah. I don't know bosaA, I know BOFA. What's BOFA? BOFA D's Nuts. Ah!
Starting point is 01:10:49 Brother to Ligma. High fives all around. Do you guys want to move on to some over her? Sure. OK. Hello, Podcast Recommendation Service. Hello there, young man. I'm looking for a new podcast to listen to.
Starting point is 01:11:03 Something amusing, perhaps. Oh, what about Beef and Dairy Network? Something surreal and satirical. Well, I would suggest Beef and Dairy Network. Ideally, it would be a spoof industry podcast for the beef and dairy industries. Yes, Beef and Dairy Network. Maybe it would have brilliant guests such as Josie Long, Heather Ann Campbell, Nick Offerman, and the actor Ted Danson.
Starting point is 01:11:25 Beef and Dairy Network. I don't know. I think I'm going to stick to Joe Rogan. The Beef and Dairy Network podcast is a multi-award-winning comedy podcast, and you can find it at maximumfun.org or wherever you get your podcasts. Somewhere in an alternate universe where Hollywood is smarter. And the Emmy nominees for Outstanding Comedy Series are Jet Pakula, Airport Marriott, Scruple, Dear America We've Seen You Naked, and Allah in the Family.
Starting point is 01:12:02 In our stupid universe, you can't see any of these shows, but you can listen to them on Dead Pilot Society, the podcast that brings you hilarious comedy pilots that the networks and streamers bought but never made. Journey to the alternate television universe of Dead Pilot Society on MaximumFun.org. Vision universe of Dead Pilot Society on MaximumFun.org. Overheard.
Starting point is 01:12:33 Overheard. Boy, oh boy, do we love this segment. We love it, don't we people? It's where you hear it, and we get to hear it. And we always like to start with a guest. Abby, do you have an overheard? I do. I have an overseen. I'll allow it. Yes, it'll be allowed. I was driving home from work
Starting point is 01:12:52 and there was a little bit of a traffic jam so I'm just kind of sitting there for a few minutes driving slowly, covering, you know, maybe a block. Sure, yeah. Pretty open, like there's, like there's, I can see the streets and everything going on and I'm not between like tight buildings or anything and I look over and there's, like there's, I can see the streets and everything going on. I'm not between like tight buildings or anything. And I look over and there's a Cal tire.
Starting point is 01:13:08 And for those who people don't know what a Cal tire is, it's just like a tire replacement, oil check, jiffy lube kind of place, right? Yeah. And it's after five o'clock, it's empty, it is closed. Parking lot is empty. But there's like a, there's like, I thought it was like a black Audi or Acua SUV just kind of parked a Kimbo in the parking lot. Just kind of, and then there's a guy sitting in the front seat.
Starting point is 01:13:31 He, and I'm just watching there. I'm listening to whatever music comes on. Um, and I see this guy get out and he catches my attention because he's in giant man. Yeah. Slick, start from the top, slick back hair, dark hair, big black sunglasses, shirtless, buff, hairless, shiny, wearing skinny white jeans. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 01:14:01 Euro trash? Oh, for sure, Euro adjacent, absolutely. And then like pointy-toed black leather shoes. Oh, okay. Euro trash? Oh, for sure, Euro adjacent, absolutely. And then like pointy-toed black leather shoes. Oh, wow, I can picture this guy. That is perfect. In my mind, it is the saxophone player. Oh, sure. In Lost Boys. Yes.
Starting point is 01:14:15 A.K.A. Sergio John Hamm from SNL all those years ago. Yeah. So I'm just like, what the fuck is this guy's deal? Okay. So he gets out of the car, the driver's seat, goes around the back, the Trump opens, he reaches inside the trunk, takes out a trumpet. Yeah, this guy rules. Starts playing the trumpet and he's good. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:14:36 I'm no trumpet expert. It sounds nice. So is everybody in the traffic jam just like... I'm looking around like acknowledge that this is happening. And I catch someone else just being like, that person just like shrugs. And I'm like, what? And then he's literally just standing in the empty Cal-Ti parking lot in front of, I don't know, 50 cars that are sitting there in traffic. And then he gets in his car. Does he play?
Starting point is 01:14:58 Oh yeah, he's playing the whole time. And it's beautiful, like jazzy trumpet. It's not sad taps. Womp wom womp, womp, womp, womp, womp. Yeah, sad taps. So yeah, there you go. I saw I just was, and then he just gets in his car and continues to play, and then light turns and I'm off. It is Sergio.
Starting point is 01:15:17 It is, except trumpet. Yeah, except he couldn't get the embouchure right for his saxophone. He has dental work, so it doesn't work. By the description of him, I thought it was going a completely different direction. See, I didn't know what it was gonna go. I never would have thought it was gonna be musical.
Starting point is 01:15:32 That's why I'm literally looking to my left, looking to my right, like somebody else noticed this. Some people were oblivious, or just kept looking forward. Is it the caltire on Arbutus? No, Clark, Clark and Second, right by the East Van sign. And where the giant- For everybody out there, Clark, Clark and Second, right by the East Van sign. And where the giant- Where everybody out there, it's Clark and Second, Kaltire.
Starting point is 01:15:47 Where the giant devil penis statue used to be. Oh, sure. Do you remember that? Yes, I did, very well. That was a good time. There was at one point somebody erected a giant Satan with a- It was like a life human-sized man.
Starting point is 01:16:01 Yeah, with a giant dongle. Yeah, and it was doing the devil's horns on its fingers as well. It was doing devil horns. They took it down so fast. They wouldn't let us keep it. Yeah, this is why we can't have nice things. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:16:13 Dave, do you have an over-heard? I've been overseen. Allow it. And this is, I think it's here. So now in hockey. So now in hockey, you have coaches and you have assistant coaches. Yeah. But so on the Instagram I follow,
Starting point is 01:16:37 they just post whatever hockey news and it said Maple Leafs hire, so there's coaches and assistant coaches. Maple Leafs hire Lane Lambert as an associate coach. Okay. Which is not a thing that you often hear. And one of the comments was, what is an associate coach? Is this like a he, she, they thing?
Starting point is 01:16:57 Assistant coach, that I know. His pronouns are associate. Yeah, somebody fill me in. I just want to be using the right... Yeah, the right. I'm just going to look like an idiot, you know? What color is he on the Pride flag? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:17:14 What kerchief does he use? I saw a Pride flag and there's at least one edition I didn't know that's been added. I don't know what it means either. Sure, they add a bunch of stuff. Yeah, it is like the most evolving flag. Like, you know, country's flag, they're set. Yeah, 200 years later, still the same flag. They should change country's flags from time to time.
Starting point is 01:17:37 Yeah, just push them up a little bit. Well, they do when there's like a coup. Yeah, or when they add, you know, Alaska. Yeah, yeah, the little amendments. And then America, they have a thin blue line on theirs now. Yes, everyone does. And the flag's upside down. The flag's upside down and black.
Starting point is 01:17:53 Yeah, the Punisher symbol is somewhere if you stare at one of them. One of the stars is a Punisher symbol. And it's above one of the Justices' house. Yeah, America's going great, guys. Yeah, things are happening. I mean, in terms of iconography, top marks to America.
Starting point is 01:18:11 Yes, yes, yes, yes. So anyway, so is he a coach? Yes. There you go, man. Gotcha. Do you have an overheard? I do. It was at the concession at the sumo wrestling,
Starting point is 01:18:24 and most of the concession was very healthy food. It was bananas and oranges and whatnot. Fruit cups, whatever. Yeah. Yeah, there was some- Fruit salad. Coming back to the Wiggles. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:18:36 And there was Pocky, there was some Pocky there. Oh, you gotta got the Pocky. Pocky by Glyco? Yep. Glyco. Is it? I think so. Guys don't fight.
Starting point is 01:18:45 And there was a kid that was really trying to persuade his mom. The mom was like, we're gonna get an orange. We're gonna get a fruit. We have Pocky at home. And Pocky at home is. She's like, we're gonna get an orange or a banana. And then the kid went, how about some wasabi peas?
Starting point is 01:19:00 And she's like, no. And he goes, but wasabi peas are a vegetable. Oh. True. And you know what? The kid nailed it. he goes, but wasabi peas are a vegetable. Oh, true. Yeah, and you know what? The kid nailed it. Yeah. Didn't get those wasabi peas. Yeah, valid argument though. Yeah, you weren't even allowed,
Starting point is 01:19:12 you weren't allowed to eat them in the gym. So why they were selling it at a congestion, I have no idea. Really? Yeah, I don't know. Was there someone from the school being like, Yeah, she was dressed in like a neck length, full one piece outfit,
Starting point is 01:19:28 had her hair tied up in a bun, she had little glasses. That's some kind of librarian lady. Yeah, I know. Some sort of head of a school. Yeah. A representative. Sure. And look, I'm hot for teacher all there, I'll say it. Yeah. A representative. Sure. And look, I'm hot for teacher out there, I'll say it.
Starting point is 01:19:48 I got a bed. Really? How do you feel about elevators? I love an elevator. Yeah, you love an elevator? Yeah, I love it. I'm loving an elevator. You think that's what that song is?
Starting point is 01:19:59 It's about you love elevators. I'm loving an elevator. Now we also have Overard sent in to us by people all over the world. If you wanna send one in, send it in to sbymaximalfund.org. This first one comes from Chris in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. At work, we were on a Zoom call a few minutes early
Starting point is 01:20:18 and we were just chatting. My boss started talking about sports and how sports betting has become more commonplace. At one point he says, there are just so many options right now. You have FanDuel, MGM Casino, Reality Kings. I knew that he meant to say DraftKings, so I Googled Reality Kings, and it's a porn website. You have so many options. I mean, I can't keep up with all these options. I'm getting, my hands are getting all chapped from all the gambling I'm doing.
Starting point is 01:20:51 Yeah, gambling. Yeah, that's the thing. I tried to gamble and it won't allow me. It says my computer's not in British Columbia. Oh yeah, do you have to be, can we, is there local gambling, online gambling? I do not keep track. You do not keep track, except what's good? The track.
Starting point is 01:21:10 Oh yeah, you like to go to the track. I like to go see the ponies. And the wiener dogs. Yeah, I like to go see the wiener dogs. The ponies, the jabronies. They're all there. This next one comes from Maggie G. You don't think, it's not Jake's sister.
Starting point is 01:21:29 It is Jake's sister. I shortened it to G, but we all know. Figured it out. They're a great scene together. In Darnie Darko. Darnie Darko. How dare you, suck a fuck. Yeah, one of them tells the other one to go,
Starting point is 01:21:41 suck a fuck. Suck a fuck. My two-year-old daughter was listening to the Muppets version of Bohemian Rhapsody. Yep, love it. Great start. During dinner when her grandparents were visiting, my mother-in-law asked what song it was,
Starting point is 01:21:59 and when I told her, she shook her head disappointedly and said to no one in particular, you know, you never hear about Miss Piggy anymore. It's true. When was the last time you heard about Miss Piggy? Piggy's in my algorithm. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:22:12 Oh yeah? Yeah. Okay. Piggy's a modern bitch. She's doing great in 2024. Is she? Yes. Great.
Starting point is 01:22:20 Yes. She's doing absolutely great in 2024. What are the Muppets up to these days? Are they working together on some sort of project? Yeah, they're working on Bohemian Rhapsody. Yeah. They're doing actually a version of the movie. Would watch.
Starting point is 01:22:29 Yeah. I wonder if that's really good. Like there's so many chorus of voices, but like who's the lead singer? Oh, beautiful. How many chickens are you going to get in there? It's great. Can we like just kind of skip through it and... Well, wait, let me finish this and then let's skip through it.
Starting point is 01:22:49 All right. This guy's from a place called Oshkosh. Oh, in Wisconsin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Phil from Oshkosh. I haven't overheard that he sent before and I overlooked it. Oh. This is Phil.
Starting point is 01:23:02 At a pretty chaotic birthday party for eight year olds, one slightly older kid says, I'm the prime minister of Ohio and you have to listen to me. Correct. Whenever they, whenever the- It's a self-declared situation, right? It's in the constitution. It's weird that every state in America has their own king.
Starting point is 01:23:18 Yeah. But do you, Oshkosh- Bogosh. Bogosh. Do you, do they make, is Bogosh their kids line and do they make an adult? Make an adult Oshkosh. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:23:32 I don't know, I've only ever heard of them as referred to as children's wear. Yeah, well, Bogosh. Yeah, maybe they're just an Oshkosh. Are they related to the children's place or are they just side by side at the mall? I think they might just be side by side at the mall. Because Oshkosh is part of Carter's now.
Starting point is 01:23:49 That's what I'm thinking. Nice. Also kids clothes. Yes. Oshkosh adult overalls. Oh cool. Oh, reality. Over what?
Starting point is 01:24:00 I guess what the hell. Over your diaper. It no longer manufactures clothing in adult sizes. Oh, but it once did I guess. I guess so. There's probably vintage around like this probably still exists. Oh, yeah. I knew. I mean show up to a first date like wearing Oshkosh overalls like adult ones. That's some drip. You're going home Satisfied? I guess so with with each other Alright, let's just see muppets bohemian rap here we go
Starting point is 01:24:39 Oh, that's gone so for sure Oh, that's Gonzo. That's Gonzo for sure. And a chicken. And a chicken, there you go. And Camilla, I think was the name. His wife. Yeah. Canonically his wife.
Starting point is 01:24:48 Yeah. And the album art is him with the chickens. Oh, nice. Of course, all the late from the bottom, yeah. Let's just go forward and see if anyone else. Let me throw. Oh, Monamana's in there. Monamana, they will not let you blow.
Starting point is 01:25:03 Let me jump. You do not like your jokes. Let me jump. You do not like your jokes.'s in there. Yeah. Oh, Monomona's in there. Yeah. Oh, Monomona's in there. Oh, Monomona's in there. Oh, Monomona's in there. Oh, Monomona's in there. Oh, Monomona's in there.
Starting point is 01:25:11 Oh, Monomona's in there. Oh, Monomona's in there. Oh, Monomona's in there. Oh, Monomona's in there. Oh, Monomona's in there. Oh, Monomona's in there. Oh, Monomona's in there. Oh, Monomona's in there.
Starting point is 01:25:19 Oh, Monomona's in there. Oh, Monomona's in there. Oh, Monomona's in there. Oh, Monomona's in there. Oh, Monomona's in there. Oh, Monomona's in there. Oh, Monomona's in there. Oh, Monomona's in there. Oh, Monomona's in there. Oh, Monomona's in there. 7 7 9 7 6 3 1 that's one. Spy pod one like these people have. Hi Dave Graham and most likely I guess this is Nolan calling from Nashville with an overheard. I was just out at a bar with my friend and I went in to get a drink and noticed that there was a gentleman at the bar who looked a little bit like actor Jason Momoa.
Starting point is 01:25:54 So I got my drink, went back out to join my friend, and a few minutes later a girl sitting at a table near us told her friends you guys I just did a shot with Jason Moana He's a down market version of Are you excited for Moana too? Oh absolutely ready. It's a Jason Momoa is the guy who gets to have long hair in every movie. And uses his own wardrobe. Yeah, does he? I'm assuming he dresses the same in all of his shit, a bunch of bracelets, open linen shirt, jeans, and like big boots. Have we ever seen him with shorter hair
Starting point is 01:26:36 or this is just not- When he was on Baywatch, he had shorter hair. He was on Baywatch, yeah. Oh yeah, he was on Baywatch. Probably didn't have the goatee either. No, he was too young. And that Probably didn't have to go tea either. No, he was too young. Yeah. And that wasn't de rigueur back then.
Starting point is 01:26:47 I'm gonna show you a picture of it and you're gonna go. Beards weren't hot back then. My jeans are about to be creamed. Yeah, what is the Baywatch? Here we go. And you'll just. I used to get him confused with Kelly Slater,
Starting point is 01:27:00 who was a surfer. Notice his eyes, his beautiful eyes. Oh, sure. Yeah, look at that in the red shorts, baby. Same buff, same buff. He was like, I don't know, 20 maybe when he was in that show? Yeah. He's probably about our age.
Starting point is 01:27:13 I can't, or maybe a little bit younger than us. You can see his nipples in that picture, then click on current day Momoa. Do we see his nipples? Are they out? Oh, they're. His pecs are different shapes. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:27:24 Does it work? I don't really see nipple there I see it right there, but he's also got whatever Aquaman tattoos here, right? Mm-hmm. Well, we salute. Yeah, we salute you doing what you're doing. I've been a babe your whole life and continue to be next phone call Hello, Dave Graham and lovely guess I'm going to guess Caitlin Howden. Wrong.
Starting point is 01:27:47 This is Caitlin Howden from Los Angeles, California with an overheard. I was just in a Zoom meeting for my work and one of my coworkers was talking about her upcoming vacation at the start of a meeting to prevent any awkward silence. She was trying to tell me that she was going to an all-inclusive resort in Mexico and that she hoped to have a drink in both hands the entire week. She actually said, I'll be at one of those nothing's off limits resorts in Mexico and I hope to be double fisting the entire week.
Starting point is 01:28:28 Oh, yeah, those are different things. Oh my God. She tried to clarify, she said drinks, I meant drinks in both my hands. But you should have seen everyone's faces. Best day at work ever. Adult only. Okay, love you, off I go.
Starting point is 01:28:42 Oopies. This is hedonism, we're thinking? Yeah. Yeah. There's lots of upside down pineapples all over the place. Yes! Now, because there is a lot of new... You gotta eat them and make your ginseng taste good.
Starting point is 01:28:56 Yeah. We gotta fuck a pineapple, right? This is a preserving pineapple. Yeah, Jason Biggs for a new generation. Yeah, pineapple pie pada, yeah. A lot of people always talk about how the nudity there is all over the place. So much nudity.
Starting point is 01:29:12 So much nudityism? Yeah, like where is there not, is there an area where it's like, this is the closed area. Like you gotta wear clothes. There must be. The omelet bar. Splashing oil all over the place. The omelet bar.
Starting point is 01:29:28 Scrambled eggs. I haven't had an omelet bar in a while. It's one of my favorite resort things. It's true. You get a different one or the same one every day. It's like, yeah. I feel a little bit guilty that you're asking for three things on your omelet.
Starting point is 01:29:38 And having a guy there doing it. Right there. It's great. Yeah. Satisfying. Well, they're so easy to make. They just appear before your eyes. Yeah. Right? It's great. I. Satisfying. Well, they're so easy to make. They just appear before your eyes. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:29:46 It's great. I know one time I was at a wedding and they had like a fresh made naan kind of section. I bet that's good. I can never, I'll never eat naan. No naan we'll ever compare. Yeah, exactly. Like right out of the oven, warm naan.
Starting point is 01:30:01 Woo-wee. I was watching videos of naan being made last night. Oh, fuck. This is Abby's algorithm. It's Miss Piggy and naan, woo-wee. I was watching videos of naan being made last night. Oh, fuck. This is Abby's algorithm. It's Miss Piggy and naan. And naan, Tenderie Evans. Oh, and people being gifted mariachi bands. That's also another thing. Oh, that's nice.
Starting point is 01:30:15 And it's always so happy. It's like, my 96 year old mother's never had a mariachi, so I got one for her and the old lady's, it's all, it's great. Is she Mexican? Yes, most of these people were. Maybe I'll get my momachi. Yeah, it's a sign. It's a thing of love Congratulations, I didn't realize that I thought they were just like a party thing that shows up Yeah, get her one as an apology for comparing her to Roseanne. Yeah She just does a Roseanne theme though, but Mariachi version of
Starting point is 01:30:43 If anybody knows Mariachi out there, you can make that happen. Your real dream come true. One of the best harmonica songs. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Or anything off of Bruce Willis' album. Yeah. Watch some good harmonica there. Or Alanis' album.
Starting point is 01:31:00 Yes, she also likes them. Oh, yeah. All right, here we go. Of course, Blue's Traveller,, yes we know. Your final phone call. Hey, Dave Graham and fantastic guests. This is Cheryl from Toronto. I called in a little while ago with an overheard from my husband, who is a high school teacher online, and I just had another gem that I heard in my house. So, he teaches high school, he teaches from home, and I just heard him say to a student,
Starting point is 01:31:28 well yeah, so that's what an autopsy is, but what's autonomy? Now that we've had a half hour conversation about an autopsy. About alien autopsies, specifically. That's such a high school thing. I was just like, does anyone know the meaning of autonomy? Oh, oh. And then you talk about autopsies. When you cut up a dead body. For half anies, exactly. That's such a high school thing. I was just like, does anyone know the meaning of autonomy? Oh, oh, oh. And then you talk about autopsies.
Starting point is 01:31:47 When you cut up a dead body. For half an hour, yeah. Nice. Well, that brings us to the episode of this podcast. Abby, thank you so much for being our guest. My pleasure. It's nice to be invited to come downstairs to my own home. Yeah, but Abby, do not come down any other time, okay?
Starting point is 01:32:04 Please? Not allowed. And when I have my music on, you do not ask any questions, okay? Do not disturb. Yeah, I'm just gambling on Reality Kings while I'm down here. And thank you everybody out there for listening. You know what? Take some time out of your day to gamble, I guess, or...
Starting point is 01:32:29 Wink, wink. Yeah, wink, wink. And come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. Maximum Fund, a worker-owned network of artist-owned shows supported directly by you.

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