Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 864 - Jacob Samuel

Episode Date: October 8, 2024

Comedian Jacob Samuel returns to talk standing ovations, AI on Facebook, and silence.

Hi, he's Dave Schumke. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 864 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name's Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who, oh, he's just so happy that the MTV Video Awards are done for another year. Mr. Dave Shumka.

Now we're pre-taping, but even then- It's weeks ago. It's weeks ago. Even as like a... This one I was actually thinking about, I should have brought it up last week, how I'm upset. I'm upset now I didn't, because last week was, we released last week's episode on September 30th, and I was supposed to remind Billy Joe Armstrong, I was supposed to wake him up

when September ends. What happened at the video music? Oh, Taylor danced Katy Perry's medley that she did. So that was the big ticket item, I think. Katie disgraced flopping. Yeah, flop huge. Her mid century mid. Yeah. And she and but Taylor backed her up by dancing.

Yeah, she got up and danced because I think it was wearing that shark costume Yeah, yeah Yeah, she's like and she kept doing this like pointing to her eyes and I'm pointing at her like I've got my eyes on you Remember they had that falling out and that was about a dancer. I know. Mm-hmm. I wonder that dancers probably dead That's why they're able to mend fences. And what was the song that she wrote about it? We had blood. Yeah, I know we have bad blood and Katy Perry wrote California girls because of it. So Well, Katy Perry wins, yeah, she always wins for your girls so good. It's such a good song Our guest today returning guests to the podcast very funny comedian. He has a tour coming up. He's got a

Special he's recording I was gonna say album, but it's not that's a special and he's a very funny comedian Here's for you today Take a Samuel. Hello. Hi, why not both? Why not an album and a special? No, no, no, no, no, no, no No, yeah No to maximize the value. No, no, no, no, no people we can't allow it Yeah, it's not like John Denver Christmas where you get to see the Muppets and then you get the album different different versions Christmas where you get to see the Muppets and then you get the album. Different versions. Were they?

Yeah. They weren't just a recording of? Yeah. No, there's different songs. Really? Yeah. Shit. Because we had the John Denver Muppet Christmas album. Yeah.

Then I later watched the video of the special. Missing songs? Yeah. Different arrangements. Whenever he gets in the studio with those Muppets though, the sessions get all fucking crazy. But if they're making an album, do you just trust them that the Muppets,

they were doing it through the Muppets? Yeah. You think they used AI? Or they just said, you know, yeah, very early. Yeah. Yeah. Tell us, before we get to know us, tell us about the tour and the album.

No, it's a special but I'm here I you know I have a feeling it might also be an album and might also be an album or at the very least a series of training Cards something like that. I don't know who tipped you off, but these are very accurate guesses So you're gonna okay? Yeah, I'm doing it. This is the first time I've done like I've produced my own comedy tour Okay, my tour. I mean I booked a bunch of dates and put them on the same poster and that's what you just need a poster yeah or a t-shirt yeah oh do you have a name of the tour yeah no don't

tell us well let's we'll come up with yeah okay okay my very first tour oh okay boy there's so many ways you could go with it. I know. The like, mentally deranged. Yeah. Oh yeah, is your poster your head opening up and a bunch of stuff coming out of it? Oh yeah, yeah.

Wait, no, okay, no, you're a cartoonist, and I think, okay, drawing from my own life. It's the silly doodler tour. I like the idea of marketing myself as like nothing held back. Yeah, right. Like a super edgy like you holding an American flag. Yeah. And then I just do my regular stuff like giraffes are weird.

Like this guy, he's saying he's not afraid to talk about anything. Okay, I got another doodles and noodles. And then but in between like but you don't tell jokes You just draw pictures and then like do improvise a guitar solo That's right. Cuz you're you're you're an artiste. You're a guitarist. Are you a guitarist? Uh, yeah, I'd say but I don't really play very much anymore He was on the debaters as the guitar expert and he played yeah Which I came on I realized that like I used to play in bands.

My friends all were better musicians than I was. They still play together. But they record with the Muppets ever? Not yet. Not that I know of. But then I did the debaters and I was like, I can play guitar. I play guitar for quite a while, maybe a bit out of practice. Then I realized I forgot how hard it is to play in front of people. Yeah. Like the nerves, because I've been doing stand-up comedy for quite a while, maybe a bit out of practice. And then I realized, like, I forgot how hard it is to play in front of people.

Mm. Yeah. And like the nerves, because I've been in stand-up comedy for quite a while. Don't have those nerves anymore. But not even a little bit? Maybe a little bit. Little bit. But with guitar? Oh my God. You're like, it's, and then I was, and my opponent was Miles Anderson,

who is an excellent musician. Musician. Classically trained piano player. So that was very, I was freaked out. Yeah. Well, he's a guitar versus piano. Yeah. Which is the did Miles bring a guitar? He they got a whole piano, didn't they? They had a piano. They had a piano right.

Wielded out on stage. Ben Folds five. Ben Folds has been divorced five times. Really? That's not true, is it? Yeah. I mean, he does strike me as somebody who's very divorcible. Okay, tell us the name of the tour. Let's get to know it. Oh, I thought we were doing it before we get to know it. It went too far. Yeah.

["Get To Know Us"] Get to know us. Okay, what's the name of the tour? Name of the tour is Big Talk. Big Talk. Big Talk. Which should be the name of the special album, I think. Okay, what's the name of the tour? Name of the tour is Big Talk. Big Talk. Which should be the name of the special album, I think. Okay. But I got really good advice.

So Katie Ellen Humphries, past guest. Past guest, fave guest. She gave me the advice where she said, like, oh, just give the show a name and then say a comedy show and make a poster and more people will come see it. Like all of a sudden it becomes a thing. Yeah, a thing.

Whereas if you just say, hey, I'm in these cities and people don't care as much. But there's also like- Come see Jacob's big talk. There was guys when I was starting out would do a tour of all the yuck yucks and they put together a poster and it just happened that all the tour was at yuck yucks.

But it worked. I think if you give it a name then people are like, oh, this is a certain show and if I don't see it now, I might never get to see it later even though it's being recorded. But it's about, I don't know, it makes people feel like they're part of something. I'm feeling I'm part of it. Yeah. Yeah. It's kind of like we're the fifth member of the band. Yeah. The secret Muppet tracks. Yeah. Oh, man. When you record your album, can you put one secret Muppet track at the end?

I think so, yeah. Yeah, I think I have to now. I think we have room for one. Are you, because you won the Juno for Best Comedy Album. Did you release a vinyl or any kind of physical media? No. Are you going to this time? Maybe. I don't know. Wouldn't it be cool? I haven't even occurred to me to do that.

What year did you win it? 2021. It was the pandemics. They weren't printing vinyl anymore. Oh, yeah. That's true. They were saving it for medical supplies. Because the year Graham was nominated, one of your nominees just didn't even put out an album. It was just a Netflix special. It was, but if you close your eyes, it's like an album.

And they didn't win. So that's fine. Yeah. Go the extra effort. Yeah. You gotta have album quality. So you do a special. Let me thank you. Now you put it off on YouTube. That's what everybody does. Probably, but I'm actually gonna do the fun showbiz thing where I shop it around. I'm gonna produce it, then I'm gonna be on two phones, just trying to make deals, going for various splits.

It's gonna be... What split do you want of this? Banana. But like, if you went with like a label, do they pay you money back or do they forward you? No, I know I'm self producing it because I want to own it. I want to own my, like, you know, like Taylor Swift, I want to own the masters.

Yeah, yeah. And then I'll make some sort of deal for the rev, like the royalty revenue from it. Okay. But I'm going to stick with owning it because some of the label, like the royalty revenue from it. Okay. But I'm gonna stick with owning it. Cause some of the label, sometimes they will pay for it and they'll make it for you.

But I've just ended up, like a lot of the labels are in other locations that I've ended up organizing the whole shoot myself anyway. Yeah. So I'm like, well, why do I need them? Yeah. I'm just gonna do it myself. I'm like, well, they print the vinyl.

Oh wait, we're not doing So it makes it a bit more exciting cuz who knows who knows I have a finished product to show to people Mm-hmm. And what what are the hot cities? Are you going? Are you gonna go through Cranbrook? Are you gonna go to White Rock? No, I'm gonna John you're gonna go to Prince George kind of in between in the middle of the tour right now. Okay Yeah, I'm not on the road the whole time. So let's see, we did, wait, wait, wait. Just so you know, this doesn't come out until a week after Billy Joel Armstrong is to be awakened.

Yeah. Yeah. So October? Yeah. When did October just come out? The seventh. The seventh, that is perfect. Yeah. When in October this come out the seventh the seven that is perfect. Yeah Okay. So as of the seventh, I will have done so I've already done Whistler. Yeah did Sunshine Gibson's the Sunshine Coast. Okay. I did Kelowna earlier in the summer

Where did you play in Gibson's at the Legion at the Legion? Are these legions shows? No what? This was the only Legion show, but we did. So I went on these shows with my friend, very funny comedian and opener, very open for me. He's not only an opener, but David McClain. So we went to Whistler, did the theater of Whistler, and then did the Legion show, which is like opposite experiences of like show types.

Yeah. Right, cause like- I mean, you're not allowed to wear a hat in the Legion, but you can wear it all over. Oh, yeah. But also very cheap booze at Legion. So like people, people are she yelling stuff out at a Legion and you're like, it's inappropriate to tell them to shut up like you're in a Legion. Well, but who they're being disrespectful of our troops. My yelling during a show. Yeah, just imagine that where I'm on like a USO tour, everyone.

Golf club over your children. Fair enough. And then, okay, so then Victoria is, will have happened by the time they come back. All right, how was Victoria? It was good? It was good? Phenomenal.

Okay. We blew the roof off the place. Playing at the McPherson Playhouse, you were. Whatever the biggest venue is, I'm not there. Yeah. And then October 10th to 13th is the big run where I'm doing Montreal on the 10th. Then Ottawa, three shows on the 11th and 12th,

and then the 13th, two shows in Toronto. Wow. Wow. That's because I've never done an East, well, Central Canada. We always say East Coast Yeah, it's such a like I never did a leg like that of those big cities. I've never done Ottawa before you taking the train Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, which is so much such a great way to do it. Yeah, right in that rail man. I love it As your opener going with you as well. No, no going to pick up a new opener? No, no. I have local. Local opener. I've arranged some local openers. Okay.

We did Ottawa and Toronto when we took the train. Yeah. Yeah. And I did it when I was with Yuck Yucks one time. Yuck Yuck's really coming out of my mouth a couple times on this show. Yeah. So you produced this tour. Is there going to be a tour jacket at the end?

Some sort of like satin jacket. To the staff members, road crew. Oh man, that would be nice. I used to have it. That's what my long deceased grandfather, it was from Montreal. That's what his business was. He made like those jackets with like the leather or fake leather like thing. So I did have a hookup for custom jackets.

Shit. But that ended about 30 or 25 years ago Yeah, but at the time did you think like just put Oscar the Grouch on it or something like that? No, I he did make me a custom jacket with like I think a fighter jet on the fact. So cool Wow He's so cool, yeah Yeah, like, just call up a venue and ask if you play there. What the hell?

How do you do that? I mean, I have some of the venues I've done like Comedy Bar in Toronto, I've done once or twice before. I just emailed them like, hey, this night, I didn't really plan it very well. I was supposed to go to Ottawa. I could do this. Yeah. And then I was like, well, if I'm going to Ottawa, I should go to Montreal the night before.

Sure. Flying to Montreal, and then there's like Theater St. Catherine there, which is a- You're doing Theater St. Catherine? Yeah, oh man, this is a guy. He won the Juneau, you were only nominated. Yeah, that's true, thank you, Dash. We'll see how many tickets I sell,

but I'm taking the risk. A lot of comedians are like afraid. We're not afraid, we're are afraid. We're not afraid. We're incompetent. We're not afraid. Well, they're sort of people, it's like, do I go to the club where they just, they take care of getting an audience?

Or do I book my own venue? What if no one shows up, but I've decided to take that risk? Let's just see, let's see what happens. It's like having a multiple birthday party event. And if everybody shows up for the other person, it's fine, because you're lumped in. But you're really putting yourself out there.

Yeah, we should do that. Yeah. Group birthday? Yeah. With all the listeners. Our birthdays are 12 months apart, though. But somehow we make it work. And so, you doing any driving on this tour?

No driving. What, no driving? Very low time and foot print if you don't. No, but on this tour? No driving. Yeah, no driving very low training No, but on this side of things. Oh, yeah. No. No. Yeah, I do here I do the driving which is it's not so bad in BC cuz like if you're on the ferry then that really you're chilling on the ferry Mm-hmm. Good luck chilling on the ferry. Okay, actually for the Victoria show that I will have done in the past. Yeah Okay, actually for the Victoria show that I will have done in the past, Mbeth and I, my wife and partner, we're gonna actually bike from the ferry.

You're gonna bike from the ferry? Yeah, we did it a couple months ago. Because you can bike the whole way, it's like 40 kilometers, I think. Okay. But it's all mostly separated paths, like from the ferry to Victoria. Right.

And it's like pretty flat. Like how flat? Like really flat? Very flat. Okay, okay. You. And it's like pretty flat. Like how flat? Like, like really flat? Very flat. OK. Like you're convinced the earth is not round. Yeah. Oh, nice.

OK, cool. Yeah. There were no hills where I'm like, oh, no, like, and even even think of the idea of a hill. OK. Are you a big biker in general? Not really. This is our first foray into being like a cycling couple. Where we got the shorts.

Yeah, we got the shorts. Nice. The full, like sunglasses that are huge. Yeah. Just full in. And the panniers, cause it's, but. Yeah, you gotta get the panniers. Yeah, absolutely.

It's really, it's nice. It's like, it's a nice way to travel. What, what, what are those last words that you said? Are they the clip-in things to the bike? No, no, we don't have no clip-ins yet. What is that thing that you were saying? Panniers? Oh, panniers.

I mean, it's French. It's bicycle. It's French, it means basket in French. They're the bags that clip onto the side. Oh, yeah, like saddle bags. Yeah, exactly. Do you think you'll be like a person that commutes

around the city next summer or like to your job and whatnot? Or are you like? I know, I've sometimes I'll take my bike and then bike home from new west. Cause it's like, you can go the whole way on the central Valley greenway. How's that flatness? Is it pretty flat?

Yeah, pretty flat. Like it's a really good bike path. And I got an e-bike last summer, a folding one. And so I've been, we were both using that motoring around. It was really fun. E-bikes are amazing. Yeah. I've only seen them from afar, but they look pretty cool.

I've only ridden one once and I broke it. So you broke it? Yeah. I was borrowing my brother-in-law's in Copenhagen and the kids were in the basket on the front. It's that style bike. Oh yeah. With the wooden basket in the front

and then the key to the battery, I broke it off by accident and then had to pedal the whole thing back. Oh no. With both of your kids. Back from the little mermaid statue. I would say I love the variations of e-bikes that exist. So, back from the little mermaid statue. I love the variations of e-bikes that exist, like all the ways of carrying like, gear and kids,

like the buckets that they have for them. Yeah, yeah. It's really cool. Having never been on one, it just makes cycling easier or does it make you super fast? It actually makes you super strong. Yeah. Well, that's cool.

Well, there's different levels of assist that it has, but it just makes it so that you're like, I don't want to deal with this hill. Then you just cycle and then you just shoot up the hill. Love that. It makes it, and they top out at a certain max speed. It's like 30 klops. They are sets that they can't go faster than that, but it just makes it so that it really takes biking up a notch where it's so much easier.

For the ones that they have for the city, like the Mobi ones. Yeah, are those? Yeah, some of them are. So all of a sudden it doesn't feel like a chore. Cycling seems like a chore to me. You should try an e-bike. I don't know.

That's like using an electric vacuum. It's still a chore, you know what I mean? The manual vacuums? Crank vacuum? Yeah, exactly. Well, this electric vacuum has made it so much easier. Yeah, but an analog vacuum was like two, it's like on like one of those railway like pumps. Growing up, my mom had a thing that was like...

I had one of those. What is it? It's a, it's kind of like a glorified lint roller. It's like a vacuum thing, but yeah. Was that a child's toy? Yeah, and it had these popping bubbles, popping popcorn inside. No, it was basically, yeah, it was like a...

And it made like a vroom, vroom, vroom kind of sound. You rubbed it over, were you supposed to use it on the hard surfaces or the carpet? We'd use it all over the place. It didn't pick anything up. No, it was just a, I'm sure it was something that was selling on TV or something like that. Must've been on sale at a store.

I don't even know what you'd call it. No, me neither. So look it up. How do you feel about built-in vacuums? Like built into the house? Yeah. I think they're super cool. Really? You don't think they're cool?

No, no. I think it's so, because we, in our place, it like, it was originally built with one and it's so, you can carry this giant tube around with you. Like the vacuum, right? It's like- Oh, well the new ones, the tube is in the wall. No, it is in the wall, but you still,

the vacuum part is still like a tube you have to attach. Right. Oh, sure. Well, it just feels very impractical. Do you have the like, my parents have one, like a little door that you kind of- Yeah, yeah, they have all these little doors and they just automatically, they open it and just- Yeah, yeah.

No, those are cool. You don't like? I don't like. What do you want instead, a Dyson? No, no. What if the hole is a little bit lower and you could- Nevermind. Dyson? I'll give you a little piece of information I learned.

Dyson vacuums kinda overrated. What? Yeah. I've never had the pleasure of using one, but I should go over to Fred's house and ask him if I could get one. They're really coasting on brand value. But isn't that their thing?

They do one thing really, really well. Isn't that their thing? Well, the one thing they do really well is those hand dryers. Yeah, exactly. If they're good at blowing the air air out but sucking it in they have issues I love that all the designs like there's the the first one where you dip your hands in and out Uh-huh, then the one that looks like cyber truck that just blows out air. I've never seen this one. It's It's not a Dyson though. Is it not?

I don't think so is it and then there's a laser e one that kind of has wings and that's the Dyson the new Dyson There's a hand dryer and I have new new day. They're always improving on those. There's just the continuous towel Yeah, oh, yeah that What I usually get is my pants Put towel material inside the pockets of your pants. This is an idea. I had a tweet years ago that was like, they should make a shirt out of the material

that you use to clean your glasses with. Oh, like a shimmy shirt. And then, cause that's all I clean my glasses with anyway. And then someone did it. And it's just like, I've got a panel on the bottom. Love that. Made of that stuff. Or a tie later that. A tie? Yeah well that's practical too because people wear the ties all the time. Yeah they do of course. You have to if you want a job these days. Well certainly in today's go-go world. Yeah do you wear a tie at work? I've not worn a tie for a long long time. What about your wedding? You didn't wear a tie? No I didn't wear a tie for my wedding. That may have been the last time I wore a tie. Did you know how to tie a tie? You didn't get away worn a tie for a long, long time. What about your wedding? You didn't wear a tie for your wedding?

No, I didn't wear a tie for my wedding. That may have been the last time I wore a tie. Did you know how to tie? You didn't get away with a tie on stage. I think you've... Yeah, you could wear a suit and tie on stage, don't you? Sometimes I do it less now, partly because my suit doesn't fit so great anymore.

Ah yeah, I was gonna say it's a little bit... But I moved a bit away from wearing the suit, but I still like to dress decently on stage. Yeah. But it ties a bit much, I don't know. Do you find that, cause like when I started out I wore suits and I found that in small towns,

people were like, who the fuck is this guy in a suit? Yeah, I would feel like that. I think it just, I want to dress intentionally so I look at least okay to look at. What's a dream outfit for on stage? Ooh, I mean like a nice jacket, a sport jacket maybe, or like just a nice over shirt that like doesn't look like I'm trying to be cool.

I have a hard needle to thread because I'm not very cool. What? Not cool trying to be cool. I have a hard needle to thread because I'm not very cool Not cool I can see it I fold like when I go on stage, no one's like we just want to listen to this guy talk to us I don't know that I've ever seen an outfit that made me want to listen to a guy talk Like do you remember when we did that show in Port Moody, Port Coquillam? Oh, yes. And we showed up and we drove together and I was wearing a sweater vest.

And as we parked the car in the parking lot, Graham turned to me and said, now Dave, I was very new to comedy. Yeah. And I will censor this. Dave, you may get called the F word tonight. And I think I did. Yeah. During the set.

So, yeah. First chair. Yeah, yeah. I'll call you first chair. But what do you, how do you, what's your thought process in terms of what you wear on stage? I've kind of subscribed to the like, just one black or like black with blue and that's it. No, because you don't want to be too distracting, right?

You don't want like, the worst is when you have someone's wearing a t-shirt with like a more famous, more successful comedian on it. No, we're all thinking about Bill Murray. How great it would be if he showed up. How often does that happen? I've seen it happen. Really? Oh yeah.

Yeah, I... Or is it like, oh man, he's got all four Ghostbusters on there. They're all so fun. Which is the funniest Ghostbuster. I mean, people would say Bill Murray, but I don't know, man. I think Egon's pretty funny. Yeah, I like that.

Harold Dramis is underrated. And Ernie Hudson. Ernie Hudson? You know what I actually like for- Are there four or five Ghostbusters? Four, and then Dan Aykroyd. And then Slimer, they say, is the- Four, and then Dan Aykroyd?

Yep. He got downgraded, and Janine took his place. Janine. Is Janine Annie Potts? Yep. Yep. Did you see the new Ghostbusters? I haven't seen other Ghostbusters since Ghostbusters 2.

Yeah, it's, I don't know. I don't know who the movie's for. It's not for me. It's ruining my childhood. It's ruining my childhood. Not only have I not seen it, but my awareness of what movies are coming coming are out there is like pretty low. How come?

Don't pay attention. You haven't seen Transformers 1? That looks fun. The prequel? They're rebooting it? No. No? It's just a, it's a, do you learn how Optimus Prime became Optimus?

I'm not interested in Transformers. Okay, well the show's over. To me, no, the pinnacle was the Beast Wars that was on TV. Okay. Oh boy, you're so young. And I don't want to go, like that was fine. That was great. Would you go see a Beast Wars movie?

I don't think so. This guy's pretty secure about his child. Yeah. Okay, well what if I told you, Glenn Powell is attached to play Beast Man. Yeah. Play Mr. Beast. I didn't see, I don't know, Beast Wars.

That was, I remember. Those are all animals. Yeah, yeah. I know what it is. Is it an offshoot of Transformers? Yeah. It was an animated one. I think.

I'm just realizing what I said. Well, they did the first ones were all puppets. It wasn't one of those. I think. Yeah, I think. Yeah, I'm just realizing what I said. All practical effects. The first ones were all puppets. It wasn't one of those buffet transformers. Oh, I would love to see a practical effects transformer movie where the actor has to get on the ground and stick the wheels out.

And he has to go. What about E-bike transformer? Where is that? He's probably last in the line of defense. So did they turn from robot to animal? Yes. Or animal to car? Robot to animal.

Okay. And where's it like? Obviously. So in the original Transformers The good guys were the cars and the bad guys were airplanes Yeah, and but they are both turned into transform to turn into robots. So were there good animals and bad animals? Yeah, I think it was like prehistoric mammals Okay, most versus dinosaurs So a sloth

Sabertooth tiger So a sloth. Yeah, a giant sloth. Saber-toothed tiger. Maybe they weren't all prehistoric. Mammoth. Yeah, Mammoth. I remember, what's the bad guy's name? Destro. Shatterhead? Shatterstar? Chowderhead. Optimus Prime.

Deceptico is the company he works for. Decepticons. company he works for. Decepticon. Decepticon. Okay, his name was Starscream? Yeah, let's say Starscream. That was one of the bad guys. The main bad guy was a dinosaur.

That's all I remember. Oh, this is driving somebody out there nuts. Yeah, I love that. Okay, we're gonna pull up Google. Oh, what's new in Chrome? Just a second. Oh, shit. Let's see. So am I looking up the bad guy from Transformers

or bad guy from Beast Wars? I think you're the bad guy, but then let's figure out all their animals from Beast Wars. Okay. Megatron. Megatron. Megatron.

Megatron. There was one that was a ghetto blaster. I remember that. And he had a tape. Was he a good guy or a bad guy? He was a good guy. He'd rock it up. Soundwave? Yeah, I remember that. And he had a tape. Was he a good guy or a bad guy? He was a good guy, he'd rock it up. Soundwave?

Yeah, probably like Soundwave. That makes sense. Bad guy Beast Wars. Beast Wars Transformers. Megatron was the name. Oh, the Megatron. Yeah, same one. Megatron.

Were they all the same? The good guys and bad guys, the same names. I don't know. What was Optimus Prime in Beast Wars? Ooh, that's a good question. I think they did make this into a movie. I don't know. What was Optimus Prime in Beast Wars? Oh, that's a good question. I think they did make this into a movie. I want to say a lion? I don't know. I think that Optimus Prime is a gorilla. Oh yeah. That's what I think he is. Yeah, he looks... It looks like he's wearing a shawl. Is this what you watched? Yes, that's it. Ooh.

That is rough. That's very- Feels like home though. Yeah, was this on YTV? Yeah. Was this on after reboot? Probably. Did you, as a youth, were you all in on TV,

watched on TV all the time, or were you right on the cusp of when the internet started being something to watch? No, no, we were TV. Like when I was younger, the internet was like, it was all flash stuff still. There wasn't video. So we like, when we were in elementary school, it was definitely all TV. Yeah.

Right. And then high school kind of the internet, but like it was, we were like teens when YouTube came out. Yeah, well you were. Yeah, we were. I was already buying my first house. Yeah. Yeah, I guess if I had access to YouTube as a kid, I just would never have done anything else.

I know, it's hard. My kids, they love YouTube and some of it, I don't mind. Do they like Mr. Beast? No. Okay. They don't know, they know who he is because other people will talk about him and they're like, we're gonna do a Mr. Beast themed Lego. Cool.

They follow this good Lego guy, I like him. And then mostly they like, there's this one part of Roblox called Dress to Impress where you make outfits and there's a theme and you pick your outfit. Oh yeah, and they just watch YouTube videos of people doing that. Well, they do it themselves,

but they also watch YouTube videos. You gotta get some ideas. Yeah. So the theme will be like, you know, the plague. And then you have those long nose things. Beaks. Dark clothes. Halloween's right around the corner.

You a fan? Unfortunately, no, not really. I just don't like having to think of a costume. I'm fine that other people like it. I can give you an idea for a costume. Megatron. Yeah, that's a good one. Gorilla Optimus Prime.

I did actually years ago for one of the debaters debates, I didn't end up doing this, but I bought a beekeepers outfit because it wasn't that expensive. See, that's the easiest. And I was like perpetual Halloween costume if I ever need one. What is not that expensive? A beekeeper's like the fabric suit. Yeah, but how much? How much?

I don't keep track of these. I just, it's just money and money. No, it wasn't expensive, it was like $5,000. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it's nothing to me. I feel like it was under $50. Oh, shit. Oh, okay. That's Halloween appropriate.

Sure. And it's so, moved this beekeepers outfit, like several homes be like one day for Halloween. My wife's like, you've never touched this. We're getting rid of this. No, no, no. It doesn't even work as a beekeeper because the bees keep stinging you. Yeah. Are you afraid of bees? I'm afraid of beasts. No, I'm not afraid of beasts. I'm afraid of wasps. Or hornets. I actually was stung by a wasp two weeks ago. And? On the forehead. On the forehead. Yeah, it still hurts. But I'm not that scared of them because I've been stung a few

times. And so it does hurt a lot initially, but it goes away. And it gives you magical powers. Yeah. Exactly. Then you can sting other people. Through your finger, through your mouth. Yeah. I got stung by a wasp exactly. Then you can sting other people. Through your finger, through your mouth. I got stung by a wasp, but now I can stab other people. I saw this video of, it was just one of these videos that ends up in your feed and you watch it.

And you're like, I guess I'm on the human side. And there was a hornet, and they put a plastic bag around the hornet and so that they could See where it was going. Oh And so the hornet it's like a it's way better than a wasp and it flew back to its nest And so they found the nest and killed all the hornets in the nest because they were like killing crops Yeah, it freaked me out because I think those really hurt. Yeah, why? Hmm. Why would you hear? I don't know

I've just heard that yeah, have you been anywhere where there are I don't think I've ever been Their hornets. I'm just gonna order it Charlotte right? Yeah But no, I'm gonna order here yeah, it's yeah, okay,. Okay, but yeah, I'm gonna start. Remember murder hornets? What is murder hornets? It was a thing that, it was during the lockdown, it was like, what, who had this on their 2020 bingo card? Murder hornets now?

Who? Oh man, that bingo card thing, first time I heard it, I was like, that's really novel. And then I just heard it all the time. Yeah. Same with enter the chat. I remember on the Olympics, they like, so and so has entered the chat.

I was like, oh, this sucks now. It was cool until the guy from NBC knew it. Yeah, until he entered the chat. That wasn't on my bingo card. Yeah. Dude. Who had OJ Simpson die on their 2024 bingo card? Oh, man.

Did he die this year? He, maybe not. Well, we'll have to watch the Oscars. Did he die? Yes, yes, yes. Yeah, I made sure. According to the mainstream media. We'll have to watch the Oscars. Do you think he'll be in the thing?

Oh man, that would be so scandalous, but I love it. Oh. Okay. Him as Nordberg in the. Yeah, and then like right after, I don't know, some classy actor I can't think of anyone who's actually done yeah who's a beloved I don't know this is serious who died late or they can put him in and people just start

applauding everybody is a standing ovation bring him back or like the popular when they all stand for and then they're still standing when the OJ line comes on. Gotcha. Popular one they're all standing for. Like they go through phases during the memorial. Yeah, we like him. No, we don't like. Stand up and sit down over and over. Do you like constantly hear about movies getting like a seven minute standing ovation?

That doesn't seem possible to me. At film festivals. At film festivals. Yeah, I was like, maybe in France. I don't know. Yeah doesn't seem possible to me. At film festivals. At film festivals. Yeah, I was like, it may be in France. I don't know. Yeah, in France. Exactly right. Yeah, but like even,

yeah, like Beetlejuice got a six minute standing ovation. No, that, that, really. Yeah. Is this supposed to be good? I have- I've seen it, I liked it. Oh, okay. Yeah. But would not worth it.

No, I've got to not, when I stand there for six minutes, you know I like how long is a standing ovation? Have you seen one? They're like less than a minute. Yeah I also like how moving it must be incredibly moving I to get a standing like I yeah like when I saw but like You've seen standing ovations for things where the person is present. Yes Yeah, like I remember seeing Paul McCartney and like, it was enough already. Like he's gotta get, you gotta do the next song. This applause needs to die down.

But you know, if anybody's going to get a standing o, it's gonna be Paul McCartney. Oh, sure. I'm gonna sit down the whole time. Yeah. The... I love to boogie woogie. Have you been a part, have you ever gotten a standing ovation? Once. Yeah. That was part of, part of, a standing ovation? Once. Yeah. But that was part of a, it was at Just For Laughs.

It was at the gala. So the end of the gala, they bring everyone out and then there was a standing ovation and it is very moving. Was there a comedian you thought deserved it more than you? Maybe the host of the gala, who everyone was there for. Was it Mr. T?

Was it Kevin Hart? No, no, it was Hassan Minhaj. Hassan Minhaj. Yeah, but that was, it was pretty cool to be like, cause there's like 3000 people. And everybody was standing. There must've been some holdups. I didn't check, I didn't check.

Oh, that's a great time to sneak out when everyone's standing. You can get out of your row. Yes, that's great. But I think that's the kind of standing ovation where they kind of hype up the audience to do it as well. I don't think like, it'd be something to do a show and then get like your own show and get a standing ovation.

Yeah. I'm actually, I was confused. I was talking about standing ovulation. Oh, oh, oh. What is it the time at? I just got, I gotta have a baby. You just gotta say, you just gotta say, okay, everyone, when was your last period?

You're in, you're not in. What's your, take your temperature. Be on this strip. We gotta make, we even. Standing ovation. We're being on the strip as we're off. Yeah. Yeah, have you been a part of one, a standing ovation?

Just this one. No, that's the one where you were in the standing ovation. Yeah, I'm definitely not the first, I think, to standing to ovate. I'm more of a reluctant. Yeah, me too. I wait for the guy. I'm not a leader. You're not the first to ovate. In high school, I was one of the least likely to ovate. Well, I feel like at a concert,

everyone's standing already. Everyone's standing. And sometimes, have you ever seen it where some people stand up, but the most people don't go? Yeah, when it's teetering on maybe the standing ovation is quite a thing. Yeah, I like that. I think it where some people stand up of the most Teetering on the maybes a standing ovation is yeah, I like quite a thing because I will stand my ground sit my ground Yeah, you're great. Also I went to a concert this summer where I

Will sometimes I'm finding out that bands I like have a way older average audience than I thought Jerry in the pacemakers? Guys, I got tickets. Who would have thought, do you think that Doo-Wop would have taken off with younger? Wouldn't that be crazy if they had had a revival like Doo-Wop just became a thing that the kids were crazy into? I didn't see it happening. Have you seen, we talked about this a few weeks ago, but have you seen the videos of what's his face? Oh, no, he's just a zombie. He's he's 90 years old. He's really but he's lip syncing about his mouth isn't moving like the music

is playing and he is just is not hitting the high notes. I guess he's not. There's like he's beyond being able to try to fake it. What, do you have sunglasses on? No. Oh, okay. Cause then I know how they did it. Well, so how do you feel like you're at a concert, you're sitting down, and then people,

some people get up to dance with the music, but it's kind of a sit down concert. And you're like, you're obstructing everyone's view. This is, I was gonna say, forget the notes, but I went to a concert this week of a country singer named Katie Musgraves. Oh, did she change her name from Casey? Yeah, it's Casey Musgraves.

And did you not talk about this last week? No, because I just went this week. Oh, okay. And it was a sit down. It was for the most part, there were some teens dancing, but mostly we all stood up at the beginning, then we all sat down for this, and then maybe during a really popular song, everybody stood up again,

but then back down again. I like it. I love a sit-down concert. Yeah. Maybe I'll just start listening to older music, because I feel like the older people love to sit. I don't pay money to go stand on my feet anymore. I'm not standing. I need a chair. If I'm paying to go to this concert taking time, like I wanna be seated.

Yeah. And with music, like I wanna, it's easier to listen to if you're not like, which I'm shifting on this foot, I'm shifting on this foot. I'm leading here. I get so in my head about music. What foot should I be on?

I'm the same way, although I do think it's very silly because when everyone else is enjoying it more than me, like stop enjoying. I'm not enjoying it on the same level. This should be more cerebral. Yes. Yeah, like what's the, what is the most sit down concert you guys have ever been to where it's just like

not even any standing up at all. Oh, that's a good question. I know for me it was Kiss. It was like all older people, there was a lot of sitting. Nobody was standing up. Like everybody got to their seats and it sat like a hockey game. It was the best.

I would have to say it's probably BB King because he's not standing, he wasn't standing up ever. Yeah, it's like his British in the, it's like he was always sitting down. He's got a stool on stage like Mark Merritt. Yeah, he sits on a stool. It was actually quite a contrasting concert because he would always have Buddy Guy opening for him and Buddy Guy's big thing was that he got a huge chord, like a really long chord for his guitar and he walked through the audience just ripping solos.

Wow. So it was like, and then BB King's just only sitting down in one place. Does he keep doing it throughout BB King's set? No. Yeah. It comes out. Buddy Guy had the polka dot guitar?

Yes. Nice. And is he a blues guy as well? Yeah. Yeah. Where do you see this? This was what was then the Molson Amphitheater in Toronto, like summer concert series.

Oh, nice. Oh, yeah, that's fake, yeah. Oh, beautiful summer concert series pick. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Bluesmen. Oh, actually, I think the most sit-down was Oscar Peterson one time.

Oh, sure. Roy Thompson Hall. Yeah. That's a very sit-down. Oh, sure, yeah. No one, I mean, no one's dancing there. Some people in the back are swaying, but yeah. Yeah, for me, the most sit-down

was the frickin' Nutcracker dude. I, all I remember from like the, seeing the Nutcracker as a kid is just thinking like, why are we watching this? This is the most boring thing. Like, why do you think we're like, kids would like this? It's amazing. We're just thinking about Beastmasters the whole time.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't understand the whole, like, it's like, so what this nutcracker came alive and then they fire a cannon? I'd like, who cares? The fact that it has been like the, not only the sustaining like Christmas ballet, the sustaining ballet, other than like Swan Lake,

this is Lake this is this is yeah it's gonna last for hundreds of years you're gonna still first of all what does it have to do with Christmas when you're a kid nuts are not interesting mmm that is true so it's just something that gives me access to nuts is even less interesting yeah I feel like And the fact that it's like, this has become the soldier who, does he bite the nut? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, glorification of war.

But also like, this is the number one kind of nutcracker now. Like you can't get a- Canada's number one nutcracker. The nutcracker is just like the metal one. Yeah. He's just walking around on stage without a head. You can't get a Canada's number one nutcracker. Nutcracker, just like the metal one? Yeah, he's just walking around on stage without a head. A modern, this is a sleek modernist version of the nutcracker.

I mean, hey, that's something I would give a big standing ovation to. Two minutes, two minutes standing ovation. Yeah, I've never seen it. I've never seen it. I've never been to a ballet ever before. Oh, you gotta. You'd love it. Yeah, that's true. Oh, I like the complete series.

Sneaking some beers? I mean, I think maybe I'd appreciate it. Just get wasted in the back. Boring. You'd love the ballet. It sucks. Maybe I'd appreciate it more now just given how I know how hard that is. Uh-huh. Yeah.

Right? That's how I feel about boners. I appreciate them a lot more knowing how hard they are. Yeah, I guess it's so then it's like watching wrestling, like there's a endurance aspect to it. I guess so. Yeah, but maybe you're just like, oh, it's like watching people work out. I don't know. Mm-hmm, that sounds good. Watch people destroy their bodies and particularly toes.

Yeah, destroy their feet so they look all crazy. I think I'd rather see more like dancing where they're doing like, I don't know, it's a lot of people doing really cool moves that just look cool visually. Doing flips and stuff like that. Yeah, yeah. I think what you want is parkour.

Maybe. Parkour live. Parkour Lewis, can't lose. They should do nutcracker parkour. Indoor parkour. Yeah. Yeah. The, you know, fricking flip of the sugarplum fairings.

In Vancouver, we have an indoor parkour. Is this still there? Yeah, I remember. Yeah, you have to have so much energy. The energy people have were into parkour is the opposite of where I'm at. Yeah, probably. I think they have like kids, you know.

Flipping and flopping all over the place. Yeah, classes after school. Yeah, I mean, when you watch it on video, it's very impressive. But. Absolutely. But you know, no thanks, right? No, I don't need to figure out a way down. I'll just take the elevator. I'm gonna need to skip all over place. If you're running from James Bond. He'll let him catch me. He's so attractive. Yeah, that's true. Baby blues. Yeah, the swallow the microfilm. What's it gonna do? Come and get it.

Yeah, the... I'll just swallow the microfilm. What's it gonna do? Come and get it. I watched a documentary on Netflix that is about people that climb up towers and take their pictures in YouTube videos. And a lot of them die. Yeah, that's a crazy trend. Yeah, so this woman is one of the focuses of the documentary.

She sees somebody from her old crew and she says, how is everybody? It's like, they're all dead. Oh my God. Yeah. Because most people just fall. Well, they were trying to get their picture taken in the Dyatlov Pass. That's what you should use AI for is those pictures. Yeah, exactly.

We should start with those. Let's work our way back. Let's save some lives here. It's so crazy. But they do it for the money, I guess. The only do it for the swag. Yeah, they do for the swag. No, they do it for the it's like this or Edmund Hillary quote or like, because it's there. Yeah, that's true. Cause that tower that's being built is there. I gotta get to the top of it.

And that's what they did. They camped out in a tower and worked their way out. No one's trying to get to the bottom of things though. People are trying to climb up towers. Well, I mean, detectives. Are people trying to get down holes in the same room? Yeah, because it's there. Now it's there.

Look how deep I am, the shot's just off. There's, yeah, there's divers. Yeah, now it's there. Look how deep I am, the shot's just off. Yeah, there's divers. Yeah, diggers, divers. Yeah, you can't start taking selfies. Small people, small people. Chuds, there's chuds. Absolutely. Yeah, the, like, heights guy?

Can you do heights? I, heights, kind of, but steep falls really freaked me out. Right. So like when there's a steep drop, I've always been scared of that. Yeah, that's correct. Like I'm just very uncomfortable. I don't get people who are okay, like go to the edge or. Yeah, yeah.

Wow, you skydive? No, no, no, I do scuba dive. You do? Yeah, that doesn't freak me out. You got like your certificates? Have my advanced open't freak me out. You got like your certificate? Have my advanced open water. Oh, shit. You're PADI certified?

Yeah, yeah. You go, how deep you go? I think I'm certified to go down 40 meters, but I probably have only gone down like maybe 20 or 25 in reality. That doesn't sound very deep, but I'm sure it's incredibly scary. And dark, is it very dark?

It depends on what time you're going. Midnight, is it dark? And if your eyes are closed or not. But like, if you're going down deep enough, doesn't it get dark and you have to have a flashlight? Yeah, it gets darker and you can't see color as well. So you need a flashlight to see color. Oh yeah, it's all you're all rocks, no cones.

You start to lose sense. You know the surface is up, but you can't like really see color. But you're all rocks, no cones. You start to lose sense. You know the surface is up, but you can't really see that there's a surface, which is pretty crazy. That's terrifying. Yeah. How do you know where the surface is? Just keep going up.

Well, you know where the bottom is, and it's the opposite way. And also because you can increase the buoyancy, then you float. But you know, you don't lose track of what's up and what's down, do you? No, you don't. But when you go deep enough and then you float. But you know, you don't lose track of what's up and what's down, do you? No, you don't. But when you go deep enough and then you're coming up,

it's pretty crazy, because you're like, how, like, shouldn't I be up on the surface by now? Right. Like you kind of even like lose the sense of when you're gonna break through the water. Because I like, if I go, you know, 10 feet down in a swimming pool,

I'm like, this is pretty deep. This is pretty deep, and then I'm, oh, I'll just swim up to the top. I'm not there yet. Oh my God, I'm going to die. But also when you're scuba diving, you're swimming up. That's one of the like the most technical scariest parts because you have to focus on breathing out the whole time

because that's where the pressure is decreasing. And if you don't, your lungs could explode. So you're the whole time, you're just like, don't blow up my lungs, don't blow up my lungs. Oh, I'm out, okay. They should have the warnings like on cigarette packs. It's like a photo of your lungs blasting out of your chest. Yeah, then it would really sink in.

Is it the fan? I guess that's why I don't want this to happen. Oh, shit. Is your wife also a scuba diver? No, she's not. Oh, so what goes on down there? She is none of her business. Exactly, I've kissed so many fish.

Yeah. You ever see any crazy fish? Well, I haven't seen any. Like one with the lantern head? No, but you can see a lot of fish, which is really cool. If you see a lot together, and then I've seen an octopus before. Ah, cool. It's cool if there's good,

sometimes it's not that interesting, like here it's really cold and they're like, you're like, oh, it's a bunch of rocks. Cool. But if you're like coral and they can be beside the coral, also just being able to move in three dimensions is pretty awesome.

I hate three dimensions. I only move in two dimensions. Yeah, and I hate three dimensions. I only move in two dimensions. Yeah. And I don't want to learn how to breathe a different way. The way I do it now is just fine. I don't need to learn more deeper outer breath. You have your like, what's the mouthpiece of your tank and regulator. And then you take that out and use your inhaler.

Yeah. Okay. What are the, what's the tank called? The tank? Okay, correct. What's the, what's the way you put the regulator in your mouth, what's that called? The embouchure.

Yeah, that's the proper embouchure. Yeah, you gotta make sure the reed is all wet. Which is easy in the water. Yeah. Dave, what's going on with you, man? Jacob, do we get to all your notes? No, we didn't get to any of my notes. Jacob, I've done it.

I had so much I wanted to say. A rare guest who brought a page full of notes and a notebook. I completely forgot that there was a notebook. What do you got in there? Give us a point by point. Okay, well, I said my first comedy tour, we did that. Yeah.

Okay. I wrote a note about in our neighborhood, there's like an apartment where there's clearly younger people and we're always, and we're complaining always to them about the noise and we're on that side of things now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're an older guy now.

Yeah. This is funny because you're just zipping through. These are all great topics. Well, these are like little notes, you know? Yeah, yeah, more, more, more. I went on tour with Brent Butt. Oh yeah. We were doing theaters and the funny,

and when you do theaters, I don't know if you've experienced this, but that whole bit in stuff, spinal tap where they're looking for the stage, you're like, oh, that's so true. Yeah. Like every place you're like, how do I get to the stage? I might not know how to get out there. Yeah.

Did Rambai get standing ovations? Or you're gone by then. His, I think his crowds are pretty sit down. Yeah, I don't know if he, I don't know. You have to ask him. Okay. I don't wanna, well, he's so modest. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, he won't tell. So you got lost. Oh, okay. As I throw this as a couple, when we were like, now we always like go to parties and weddings with like as a couple, when you, and then you drink as a couple, right? And then your conversations after are like very different

cause you're like, did we, like, what did we do last night? Like, did we promise another couple we'd go on vacation with them? Oh no. You were talking about scuba an awful lot. All right, well that one you maybe want to work out at a different podcast before you're pretty. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. More? Do you have more? I did a woodworking class.

A woodworking? Yeah. Oh shit. Okay. What'd you build? I built two boxes. Two boxes. Yes. Like Amazon boxes?

Yeah, yeah. They're shipping somewhere now. Where did you do this? I did it at Edge City Woodworking, which was a very good school. Okay. Where's that? It's on Vendables and it's near the railway tracks. What's the biggest tool you used?

Oh, table saw. We use it on like every kind of saw. Is table saw the one that you pull down? Or the one you push through? You push through. It was like being like the guy who did it, we used to be a shop teacher. It was like going right back into shop class.

Did you take shop class? I did at some point for sure. Did you? Yeah. I never did. But I didn't use a lot of these tools. I you? Yeah. I never did. But I didn't do use a lot of these tools. I was so bad.

I hated it so much. But the whole time I was like, just don't cut off a finger. Like just. Well there's like. Full focus. Cause they're supposed to, if they touch skin, they stop automatically.

Or they're supposed to. Yeah. But how does it know? How does it know that it's human skin and not just somebody throwing a hot dog down there? But wouldn't it stop at a hot dog? That's the thing, I saw a video of somebody doing, you know that like ballistic gel?

They did that and it didn't stop. So. Maybe it's like the, maybe it was something with electricity. Oh, yeah. But I know, but if you do that, it costs a lot of money to fix it. Oh, yeah. So he's like, don't do a lot of money to fix it. Oh, yeah.

So he's like, don't do that. Yeah. Not worth it. Yeah, you have to decide in your head, thumb or machine. Yeah, and it's so hard. Woodworking is so hard. I knew it was hard, but I didn't know it was this hard. Yeah, I don't, did you get a little callus on the hands?

No. Did the boxes turn out nice? They did turn out nice, except one of them, I didn't mess up a cut. So something's like a little curve in like the lid. What are you keeping these boxes? Records? I have. I was going to keep cigars.

Now. I think it's quite appropriate. Are you a cigar man? I do like an occasional cigar. You ever know when you're at a party and you're and your wife like you're smoking cigars? Yeah. And you come home afterwards and you're like, what happened?

Yeah, why do we all smell like cigars? Yeah, the smell's a big problem, but it is like, it is nice. I need to tell you, the smell's nice. The smell's the best part. You can smoke them for a while. It's just great, especially with comedians. There's a couple other comedians who like cigars.

Bill Burrell and Chuck Crutchall. Yeah, exactly. When I was a kid, I legitimately thought in order to be a comedian, you had to smoke cigars. That that was just like part and parcel of the comedian experience. And you're proving it to be true. You would never smoke a cigar on stage, would you? No. Oh, man. I know.

I want to see it. I don't think that meant a coughing would be good for the show. Well, what if it was an outdoor? What if it was an outdoor? Oh, you're coughing. Yeah. It would look very cool. Yeah. Also, you're probably not allowed anywhere. Yeah. Maybe outdoors you could.

Outdoors or if you go to some other country that they don't worry about not smoking. I'm going to Russia and I'm going to smoke. Just so I can do my cigar comedy. Cuba, Cuba, they are a lot of big hit. Yeah, so you got a whole breathing situation going on in your notes. That's pretty good, cigar, scuba, anything else? Yeah, are you, so okay, they make cigar aficionado magazine. They make guitar aficionado magazine.

What other aficionado magazines are there and are you into those things? What else can you be an aficionado of? We're gonna find out, aficionado magazines. No one's like I'm a vacuum aficionado. The Dyson probably says he is. If you ask Dyson if he's a vacuum aficionado, he would say, get out of my house. So there's cigar.

When you look up cigar aficionado magazines, people also ask, is cigar aficionado magazine worth it I don't know. What are they talking about? It's just like cigars. We love them. Yeah different cigar I think like it's like hot ones. They like give them a cigar and then I just don't know how different like it's tobacco It's dried tobacco. I looked up a fish not a magazine I'm only getting cigar, but I remember seeing Jeff Daniels on Guitar Aficionado magazine. I mean, guitar is clearly there's different kinds. Yeah.

Dennis Quaid on the cover, Tom Colicchio on the cover of Guitar Aficionado. Who's that? He's from Top Chef. Oh, shit. Okay. He should be on the cover of Garlic Aficionado. But I think there's different types of cigars, aren't there? Like internationally different areas of cigars, aren't there? Like internationally, different areas of cigars?

Yeah, there are, I'm sure there's different ways of bake, like I know drying it, I'm sure. I really don't know that much about them. Well, one of these days we'll share a cigar together. We'll go to a humidor and we'll just Oh yeah. Have a nice big smokey cigar. I can't find what I'm looking for.

I'm like, fricking Bono over here. The Bono of Google. On one of the magazines, it was like, Cigar Aficionado, still smoking in delivery room or no? The top delivery rooms in the world still smoking. Still handing out cigars? What did just happen? What really happened to those three men of Orient R when they tried to write that rubber

cigar? Dave, what's going on with you, man? Well, here's an update. I talked a few weeks ago about little public or little free libraries. Oh, yeah. Cute as hell. Yeah. Here's recently picked up the Checkers Guide to the Galaxy.

Oh, nice. That's a good find. So that's a win. Have you read it before? Yeah. Nice. This is something for my, something that passed down to my kids.

Oh, nice, that's nice. Yeah. I mean, the biggest hit we've gotten is the second Hunger Games book. Oh, okay. Margot's almost- It's for the kids? Yeah.

Yeah. Is it? She had already read the first and then I while she was reading while she was reading the first I was like, Oh my god, they had the second is gonna save me $17. Yeah, yeah. I don't think I've ever taken one from a library of I've browsed. Yeah, I don't think I've ever seen something that I wanted to still do you still prefer physical books as opposed to like You know a kindle. Yeah, or an iPad iPad. I find like that's how I read a book is on iPad And I find it reflecting. Yeah, I like I like bright. I like a kindle. Yeah, cuz it's Can read it in the dark. Mm-hmm, and it's very small and it doesn't hurt my eyes. Yeah. Yeah. But I do like a physical book.

I like the like, like you can get a really big book, but it doesn't take up any weight. It's nice. But I don't like the screen element of it. Right. I tend to read a lot on it. On the on the iPad. It's just a bad two because you're like, I also I can just click on the internet as well. Yeah, yeah. That's why I like a Kindle.

Yeah, I like a Kindle because it's a... You get drift over. Yeah. Let's just check out five hours of Instagram. Yeah, let's see what MrBeast is up to today. So the other thing that's going on with me is I've been noticing more and more AI stuff on Facebook. Yeah, like drawings and such, renderings. Yeah, photos. So what I get a lot is photos of like an old man.

And it's saying, this is you. No, and it's like, this is his 97th birthday he's a world war two veteran everyone wish him happy birthday and all the comments are god bless you sir it's the worst ai picture you've ever seen and millions of people being like, thank you for your service. Yeah, I'll see a lot of like fanfic posters that are done with AI. Or like they look, you know what I mean? Like they look like the person, but it's also a cartoon. You know what I mean?

Like that weird kind of- Like Antanny Valley, Homer Simpson. I see a lot of, I get a lot of weird, I don't know if it's AI, but the things of like actors aging, like here's what they used to look like. Yeah, but then the old picture is a real picture, but they've AI'd it. I find it weird transition from Instagram to Facebook,

like Instagram, I sort of feel like, okay, I understand why I'm seeing what I'm seeing in terms of the algorithm, what it's feeding me, but then at Facebook, it just feels like the algorithm has gone in a crazy place. Like it feels like it's a tabloid. Yeah, I get some pretty weird stuff on Facebook and Instagram.

What was the thing I was, well, so I got one the other day that was, here's the cast of Full House, the then and now, and it was a cast picture of Full House from the 80s or 90s but it was they had just put a sheen of AI over top of it right and then it was all of the the actors today except Bob Saget was still alive and Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen was Elizabeth Olsen. What? Yeah. It's like AI cannot quite stick the landing. And then what was the one I saw today?

Because I... I don't know. This is not even AI. This is a picture of six generations in one photograph. Oh, yeah. From seven weeks old up to 111 years old. But the account... God bless you, sir. Well, the caption says, what a beautiful, adorable, amazing family.

God be with all of you and watch over you. And the account name is FUNkiest Shit Ever. What? name is funkiest shit ever. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, speaking of algorithmics, this is something I like, they put something out there and you click on it and then they're like, you like this and it becomes a vicious circle is like slap competitions. Oh, power slapping for you, for me. And I've I've watched enough times and I'm like, is this guy going to get knocked out? Or is he not? So yeah, I get a lot of them.

I get the inside of our bees in the van. And they get me. I'm like, I want to see what's in this van. Yeah. Do you think it'll ever be an RV guy? No, none. But like a tiny, maybe a tiny cabin guy. Oh, yeah, sure. I do like tiny little cabins. Out there smoking your cigar. Exactly. Tiny cigar for a tiny cabin. Yeah. Oh, they do have e-bike aficionado magazine. So the other, the thing I see a lot, it's not slapping, but it was this, it must've been like a TikTok trend or something. And it's like families,

they fill their mouths with water. Okay. And then- Which you shouldn't do in scuba diving. No. Yeah. That's the opposite. Something's gone wrong.

It's the opposite. When you're down there, you're ever like, I'm so thirsty. No, but it does, but being in the ocean does make you want to and need to pee. Like there's something about the pressure. Like it just all of a sudden you're like, I gotta pee. But aren't you like supposed to or are you supposed to hold it? They do in the wet suit. Yeah.

You just go for it. What's the difference between a wet suit and a dry suit? Oh, well, the level of moisture. Okay. No, so a dry suit has, the wet suit, water soaks in it, it still keeps you warm, but the dry suit, you have air.

So you're literally, when you go in a dry suit, you're in your clothes underneath the dry suit and you're completely dry. You can't pee in that then. No. Yeah, you can. You don't wanna do anything of that. Don't want to do anything?

Can you fart? No, well, I mean. A bubble come out? Yeah. Um. You could release the air. You could release the air. All right.

Can you release the whiz though? No. No. It's so funny. Oh yeah, so it's people with their mouths full of water and then it's like a family gathered in the kitchen and then they are slapping each other in the face with tortillas. Tortillas, I saw the tortillas, yes.

And then, you know, someone starts laughing. They all spray water. The spraying water is gross. Yeah, but it's fun. It's fun, but you know, we're, come on, COVID guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly, what the hell. Have you seen like, you watch a video when it's like the person hurts themselves or something.

You're like, how did that, why did they then like say like, up and go, let's post this. You know, I just like fell off a counter. I see some videos where like, I'm pretty sure that person died. I think this is someone dying and their friends like, let's post this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's nobody around to stop us from posting it.

You would have wanted to get the hits. My favorite of those is the woman who's crouching down to get pickles out of the fridge and she undoes the lid of the pickles and then falls backwards and the pickles and Brian all dump on her face yeah what's your favorite yeah what's your favorite pickle first of all a classic kosher pickle has a sour like Bubbies pickles but that's the only brand that really has them in this city right yeah not sweet yes be sour to be what is right would I recognize Bubbies they sold in the aisle or in the refrigerator?

Refrigerator. Okay. Okay. There's a Bubbie on them. So they're not shelf stable. No, no. Okay. Which probably means they're fresher.

Yeah. Oh God, now I want a pickle. Fuck. Oh, you got some Bubbies upstairs. Oh nice. We're gonna have cigars and pickles. Oh, disgusting. The Vlasic Stork.

Yeah, that's kind of fun. He holds the pickle like a cigar. We're gonna have cigars and pickles. Oh, disgusting. The Vlasic store. He holds the pickle like a cigar. Pickle aficionado? Probably. I mean, why wouldn't there be? AI, get on it. Yeah. Anyway, I'm sick of this AI stealing my job.

Going back to the tour thing, when I'm running, when you run ads now on Facebook, so I'm running ads to promote my tour and special recording. And then Facebook is like, oh, do you want us to like take your stuff and make AI? Like they're really even like, hey, what did instead of the stuff, the picture you uploaded,

we just put up an AI picture and see if that works better. And you're like, what are you going to show people in mindset? Like, yeah, come see like, we'll just generate a random picture. Just see like, come see the six fingered comedian. Like maybe instead of the poster, it says the time and date of your show. We'll do a video of a family slapping each other. And so she is. Yeah.

What is the, do we ask what the images of the poster? Um, it's not of the show? Yeah, of the show that you're doing. You said you made a poster. Oh yeah, no actually I got Nima, past guest Nima Golombo-Port and make a poster. Oh okay. He designed it, it's just the title of the show

and like a picture of me. It's a picture of you? Yeah, it's not. Are you doing something funny? No, I'm just holding a mic like. That's pretty funny. Pretty funny. I mean it's stand up comedy. That's all it takes man

Yeah You bring your own stand. No, I would Mike stand. Yeah, I don't want to go to a venue and have those one crap. Yeah. Yeah, it's true Yeah, you need a round-bottom mic stand. Yeah, but I think so far it's been all good. They've all every place has had them Okay, I wish you the best in that regard. Thank you. Doing a show with them. With the tripod stand, you don't like? Well, I don't play the guitar, so. It always folds in on itself.

Sure, but it's not a, what does that have to do with guitar? Oh, I thought that you like have them, they can be bent up and put where a guitar is, right? Yeah, yeah. Right guys, you guys are guitar guys? I'm sort of an efficient artist. Well, I mean, like stand up, you obviously need a light and a sound system,

but no mic with a switch that goes on and off and no tripod stand. Cause if a mic has a switch on it, inevitably it's like Murphy's law. Someone's gonna turn the mic off by accident and be like, the mic's off, what do I do? Yeah. And then everyone in the audience is like,

oh, you're just all amateurs right now. It's watching an amateur kind of deal with the microphone is wild, like somebody who's very new to it, like trying to put it back in the stand, taking it out of the stand. Making a wedding speech. Making some fucking around with it, like, okay, do your last joke after you put this?

Yeah, like oh, yeah, and then I'm so and so and then you have to walk off to silence. Yeah Just like you walked up to it. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I well I for a while now I've stopped putting the mic back in the stand before the last jokes I feel like there's that lead-up where now you're setting up the last joke to fail. Cause you're like, this is the last one. Yeah. Hmm. But the music cue ready.

I hate the putting the putting the mic back in is always like an awkward thing. I always like the having the comedian having to time whether they have time to drink water in the laugh break. Yeah. If I need it, I just go for it now. And I let that silence sit there. Yeah. I'm like, I need it, I just go for it now and I let that silence sit there. Yeah. I'm like, I need my water.

Yeah. I think the past guest, Alistair Ogden has a whole bit about that, that one day he hopes to say a joke so funny that he's able to drink a glass of water before the laughing stops. He's opening for me in Toronto. Nice. So maybe I'll report back if he does it. Yeah, yeah. Oh man, if he does it and then you Yeah. Oh man if he does it then you can't shit now

You're the open. I'm just to see if Alastair can tell a joke so funny that he can take a drink of water That sounds pretty good. Yeah. Yeah, he's talking to you the audience. We're not coming to the We're not flying to Toronto for this Graham before we get to know what's going on with you Now it's so I gave an update on my little free libraries. I need you to give us an update on it. Where are you on your Sopranos rewatch? Excellent, excellent question.

Or not rewatch, first time. You're rewatching it for the first time. Really? Yeah, I see, I like, I had seen episodes, I know the general structure of the show, but so where I am is a gentleman named Big Pussy, uh, had disappeared. Uh, and it was around the time that they thought he might be a snitch. So he disappeared and now he's just showing up again.

Oh, is this season two? Season two. So he's just arrived. Uncle June's in jail. The sister shows up for the first time. Adriana? No. Uh, the hippie one. Yeah. What. Adriana? No. The hippie one.

Yeah, what's her name? She's awful, but she's such a- Oh, Janice. Janice. Yeah, Janice. Yeah, it's a great character. Aida Turturro. Yeah, she's so good. And you're just like, oh man, I can't believe there's going to be several seasons- Well, the first season, I tried watching it a couple years ago, and I watched the first season.

The stuff with his mom is like, it's like that whole arc is like, wow. Yeah. Like it's really deep. And I know that she passes away because the actor passed away. But my favorite thing with the Sopranos is like some movies or TV shows, there's like drinking games where you take a drink whenever they do. Yeah. I think with the Sopranos, like you make a sandwich every time they have a sandwich.

Oh, too full. I feel like it's like with the sopranos, it's like the craft services was just always in the shot. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They're always just reaching over off camera for me. And there's like cold cuts all over. Yeah. Yeah, they do need a lot of sandwiches on that show. Pickle sandwiches, man. Oh, man. I got to go. How badly do you want to go to that sandwich place? They're always going to. Pretty badly. And then also off at the bottom being on the way. Yeah, sure Yeah, and why not? You know go to fountains of Wayne and check on go pick up a fountain for my yard Yeah, so why that's where I am. She's just showing up big pussies back Tony's having oh the dr. Melfi has told them to fuck off

because one of her clients killed themselves in her absence. Yeah, so it's good. Things are ramping up. And it's the first half of the second season. So it shows really good. End of the theme song, is that how it ends? When he gets out of the door? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When you are watching a show like that,

you skipped through the intro, right? No, no, no, no. You let it, you let it. I don't really binge a thing anymore, but right now I'm watching that Netflix show, The Perfect Couple. Oh, with Nicole Kidman. With Nicole Kidman and Liev Schreiber.

Oh. And it's soapy and fun and I don't care. I have one more episode and I don't care. What's the plot? There's a murder at a, they were getting gathered like super rich people in Cape Cod, Martha's Vineyard, whatever, and there was a murder and they're trying to solve it. But the theme song, they do like a choreographed dance.

That's pretty good. Why, really? On the beach and it's like, I watch it every time. That's great. I watched an episode of a show that is too dumb for words because Sally was watching it, then she went went to bed so I just kept watching it. Was it The Mormon Wives? Oh, Abby's watching that right now.

Oh man, they're insufferable, these these tick-tocking, yeah, tick-tocking moms and Mormon moms. The whole, the two episodes I watched, the whole thing is they're planning a party. So they're planning a party for something and then they're planning a baby shower. But it's I can't understand why this is a show. I mean, because that's easy. Keep on watching. You gotta keep watching. But it's the all the women look like exactly the same. It's hard to pick out who's what who's characters. Yeah. All Mormons look the same according to Graham. Well, they're underwear, maybe. Yeah, that's true, magical underwear.

Oh, and that's the thing that's weird about, because young people, I feel, are always trying to figure out technicalities around things they're not allowed to do. So one of the things they love doing is drinking pop. That's not like they have fancy soda parties that they go to, or they have like all different flavors of soda. Are they not allowed caffeine or not allowed coffee? They're not allowed hot caffeine.

Hot caffeine. Really? So ice coffee is okay. Oh yeah, I don't know, but that could be one of the technicalities. Cause I was watching, I was watching and like, or Abby was watching and I was in the room

and one of the people's like giving the rundown of what you're not allowed to do. Your body's a temple, no tattoos, one piercing, no caffeine, no alcohol. And I was like, one piercing. One interesting. And we prefer it to be in a certain place. Yeah, it's a, well, one of the things they do is these Galzogag Botox and they get knocked out with laughing gas.

And that's the only reason they do it is because they get access so that they get high. So I'm like, but you're still getting hot. You like, is it do you think you're God is like a bean counter? Like he's like, no, it's so interesting, though, just as like a strategy for a culture where you can understand not drinking alcohol, because it's like, that doesn't really make us more productive or smarter, but then not drinking coffee is like, let's ban the substance at like catapulted society fields. I don't even know the history of like when coffee came out, but like all the inventions

happened like shortly thereafter. Guns, germs, steel, coffee. Anyways, that shows dumb. But if you want something, absolutely to just tune out your brain out, make it Mormon wives. Oh, whoo-wee. There's a lot of them. There's a lot of Mormon wives. Well, there's also, I got confused because there's also a Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. This is Provo. They're Provo. Oh, this is Provo.

I'm anti-Vo. You are? Yeah. What happened? Me and Vo had a falling out. Shit. Sorry to hear that. So what's going on with me is I had to go on the BC ferry.

I traveled on a BC ferry twice in one day to Victoria back from Victoria. Never done that. Neither did I. And it is a long trip, man. That is, and we didn't have reservations either. So we were just there. We brought lemons to ward off the scurvy. Yeah, we, no, I bought lemons on board.

And you had no reservations? What are you, Anthony Bourdain? That's what we're doing. We're doing a pilgrimage in his honor But no Reservations is that the theme song would go it was John Spencer's Blues explosion. Where's that guy now? Scott he's got a Long roll of stickers

What does that mean? There's, I got, okay. So, okay, here we go. There's this Canadian band called Tristan Psionic. Okay. And in the 90s, they had an album and the hidden track on the album was like 15 minutes of Nardoir saying Tristan Psionic

over and over. And he said they had so many stickers. It was like a John Spencer Blues explosion. I see. That was for no one. It's probably getting cut out of this episode. No, there's one person that's like, woo-wee. Then finally they're saying something for me.

Finally something from Sonic Onion Records. So, they're on the ferry going over. Do you drive? Yeah. Okay. Drove, going over, top deck. Didn't have to get out of the car. And fucking fantastic. Not in steerage like the.

Exactly like the fucking. That's why that's the advantage of getting a reservation. Otherwise also guaranteeing being on the boat. Yeah. If you get a reservation, you get top deck. Top deck rules. It's awesome. You stay in your car.

You don't have to fuck around. Coming back, didn't get on the top, was down in steerage, had to go up and socialize with the rest of the society. So someone comes by and tells you to get out of your car. Yeah. If you sit there, they're looking. Because it's illegal. Like it's whatever maritime law that you can.

It's immoral. Is that right? Yeah. Yeah. One tattoo, tattoos. one piercing, no caffeine. You got to get out of your car. The, uh, so we went up to the passenger area and right away we're sitting, uh, there's, you can either have like seats that are kind of like two and two, or you

can sit in the like longer seat section. It was like 10 seats. Yeah. Whatever. And there was this group of guys. What day of the week was this? This is, uh, Sunday. Oh, um, very busy. Very busy, very busy.

No reservation. No reservation. Uh, no reservation. And, um, there were five guys and they were standing around and they were blocking people's way and just people who had no sense of space or who they were, how much they were taking up. And then they sat down in four different rows.

So they were talking to each other between rows. And these guys were like big guys that you couldn't. Hockey team, sports teams? Definitely sports team, but coaches up, not because they were all big, big chunky guys. And all coach team. All coach team. That's right.

Who coaches the coach team? So we decided to go in the, the quiet lounge, pay 14 bucks. You get to go in the quiet lounge and that's so nice. Have you ever been in it? I have, I used to do the buffet. That used to be my thing on the fair. The buffet was a great deal

because you paid like 20, 25 bucks. It was all you could eat. Yeah. But it was, there were so few people there and you had like a big table and you just sort of like, you know, Tony Soprano. Yeah. Sit there.

All the meats and. All the meats, yeah. I ended up getting a great view. Tuck your handkerchief into your collar. Yeah. Handkerchief. There's no buffet anymore, but yeah, I would pay for a quiet space. 14 bucks?

It's the best 14 bucks you'll ever spend in your entire life. It's amazing. You're sponsored by PC Fairy. Absolutely. What do you think my tattoo on my chest says? I'm allowed to have one tattoo. And John Krasinski comes by and says, shh, there's monsters around or something. Yeah, to scare everybody into submission.

But what happened was, we're there, there wasn't very many people in there, but one guy was talking. And we were like, what the fuck is, and then I looked at the guy, and he looked like a shaved gorilla. Like he was so gigantic. And he transformed into a shaved robot.

So at first it was him talking to his wife or girlfriend or whatever, and then he stopped, and then there was more talking. There was some guy just chatting with his companion, and then the big gorilla guy stood up. Like I stood up and I was like looking at the guy like, who is it? And he stood up and the guy went quiet immediately. Wait, was the big gorilla guy talking already?

He had stopped talking. He had stopped talking, but he was like, only I have a lot to talk. And the guy really went for that rule because yeah, big gorilla guy got some got some things going like I I agree with you, but who are we? As people like okay, we need to go places where we don't have to stand up. No one's allowed to talk Yeah, it's utopia But yeah, it was it was great but man that guy became the king of the room pretty fast. Yeah. And then the guy who was talking

was wearing like motorcycle gear. And when he went over to get food, it was like, squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak. So he's making noise no matter what this fucking guy. On the trip where you stayed in the car the whole time, how many alarms were going off? Upstairs? None.

But downstairs, they go off like crazy. Yeah, but when it is an were going off? Upstairs? None. But downstairs, they go off like crazy. Yeah, but when it is an alarm going off, like what brand of car is it? Cause I've only ever heard Mercedes or BMW. They've now changed the announcements. The announcement used to be like, well, they used to make no announcement, but they would say,

if they, you know, they wouldn't say whatever the license plate was and the make and model of the car. Now, as you're getting on the ferry, they would say whatever the license plate was and they make a model of the car. Now, as you're getting on the ferry, they say, and anyone who's driving a BMW or Audi or whatever. Oh, like automatically? Yeah, check your manual to see how you turn off your alarm.

Oh, wow. I noticed that when they were announcing alarms, there's a lot of sarcasm in the voice. There's a little bit of sass going on, making fun of the people whose cars were doing that. It definitely happened the last few times I've been on. It's clearly a frequent- Oh, it's out of control. Yeah.

But there was one that came on where it was the same car twice, and he was like, please come disable your alarm. It is scaring some dogs. Yeah, here's them say that too. Yeah, which is if that's not a make you take notice, what will, right? Yeah.

You're fucking up a dog's fairy time. Well, I don't know, my car's an alpha. Oh, I can't even imagine what this guy's car, it must've been a Ford F-150. Oh, Gorilla Man? Yeah, Gorilla Man. I mean, if I know anything about Beast Wars, it's probably a Optimus Prime-style truck. Oh, man.

Well, should we do some overheards? Yeah. Hey, it's Danny from Maximum Fun. Have you listened to the bonus content for Stop Podcasting Yourself? There's a 90s music quiz bonus episode that you don't want to miss, and they're releasing two bonus episodes every month. You can go listen to those right now if you're already a MaxFun member. If not, any time of year is a good time to support the show by joining Maximum Fun starting

at just $5 a month. And when you do, you get access to the bonus content for every other Max Fun show too. So head to maximumfun.org slash join. And thanks so much for the support. ["Max Fun Show Theme Song"] Overheard. Overheard, a segment where if you hear it,

boy oh boy do we want to hear you hear it, boy, oh boy, do we want to hear it too. And before, I forgot, I wanted to plug something off the top. I'm doing the Laugh Gallery every day, every day in October. Every day in October? 30 days? 30 shows. Wow, they got rid of Halloween?

Yep. Ha ha. You mean, I'm doing trick or treating on Halloween. No, every Thursday. Every Thursday, early show, Little Mountain Gallery. You should be on it. I'd love to. Get all pumped up for your special, right?

Work out those kinks, right? Oh, and there's a lot of them. Where is the special gonna be? It'll be at the China Cloud. Oh, it'll be, when's that? On November 9th. Oh, but those shows are all sold out. Oh, shit.

And the 10th, we added shows on the sold out. Oh shit and the tenth we added shows in the tenth Congratulations on selling out. Oh, yeah. The trick is to pick a modestly sized venue Yeah, like a little mountain gallery where you can see Graham every Thursday in October every Thursday in October And we'll see if I'm gonna do it in November. I hope so Now we're doing overheards as I said before we like to start with the guest, you know how this goes. Do you have an over here? I haven't overseen. Okay.

And just for the, we start with the guest, but anyone calling in an overheard, please refer to our guests as a ghost. For all of October. Yes. Okay, so this is, so something I need to get out there in the world because I keep seeing this and I need to tell people.

So there's a pizza place on commercial drive near where I live. And there's a bunch of different pizza places, but there's one in particular, and you go inside and it's decorated with various stuff. And then behind the pizza oven is an Irish flag. Right, which is an Irish flag. Right, which is delicious for pizza. It's just like, they just clearly,

they're like, what's close to an Italian flag? Or like, ah, this orange or red, I don't know, but that's good enough, it's close enough. Yeah, you gotta try our pizza, potato pizza. Yeah, it just doesn't conspire confidence in the authenticity of the pizza. Yeah, it just doesn't conspire confidence in the authenticity of the pizza. That they're like, you know, we have $5 to spend on a mini flag.

I mean, we could get the Mexican flag and just use white out on the middle. It's like, yeah, cause Italian red, white and green. Yeah. Yeah, man. Yeah. So do you go to this pizza place? No, I do. But every time I'm like, ah, come on, I want to buy an Italian flag,

just be like, this is the right one. This is the one you mean. Do they do a potato pizza? No, maybe they do. I don't know if they do. Is this like a local joint or is this a- It's a local, it's a chain. It's a chain, but- Uncle Fatiz?

No, it's a La Pache. La Pache? La Pache? I've never heard of such a chain. Yeah. Wow. There's a local, it's a chain, it's a chain. Uncle Feteese? No, it's La Pache. La Pache? La Pache, I've never heard of such a chain. Yeah, wow. The new kid on the block. Okay. The pizza block. The pizza block.

Maybe they are Irish. If you're listening, well yeah, well I mean, it's a good chance people work there. Might be Irish. You know how many Irish people there are. Yeah, exactly. New kid on the Blarney Stone over here. Yeah.

I was on commercial drive the other day, and so this isn't my overheard or anything. I was reminded of this. One thing I like to do if I'm ever in America is go to Target and buy my favorite cereal, Cocoa Krispies. But it's been so long since I've done it. Does Cocoa Krispies have a mascot?

I think it's just Snap, Crackle, and Poppin' Blackface. What? Very controversial. But I haven't gone down to America in such a long time. I was just like, I heard that you can get Choco Crispies which are practically the same at the, there's like a Latin American grocery store on commercial drive. Oh yeah. And so they're like imported from Mexico. Oh. And so I went there the other day and I was like, okay, there was no price on them. And they had eight boxes of Choco Crispies.

And so I found the two that were the least damaged. I felt like they were like, these are just things they bring back in their suitcase. Yeah. Yeah. And so I got picked up two boxes, took them to the counter and she rung me up. There's the two people working there

speaking Spanish to each other. She rung me up $49. Shit. And I was like, oh, I had no idea. And so she says something in Spanish to the other person and then brings me up again, $33. And I'm like, okay, I'll get one box. Yeah, one box. He's like $33. And I'm like, okay, I'll get one box. Yeah, one box. He's like $49.

Wow. Yeah, is a are they a snap, crackle and pop? Or they're a completely different thing? I mean, in John, chocolate, they are, they are, you know, they made noise. Oh, they're Kellogg's and they make the snap, crackle, pop noise, but I don't. We were talking before the podcast upstairs about how this may be a memory of yours as well, going to grandparents and having stale cookies

or crackers or cereal. Was that a part of your youth growing up? Not stale, but my grandmother used to always, my grandmother was very big on combining cereals. Oh, interesting. Which I agree with. But she always had her cereal. Which I agree with.

She was right about that. And she always had her cereals in these big Tupperware containers. Yeah, my aunt was like that. So she would combine them in the Tupperware or you would combine them in the bowl? I think she'd combine them in the Tupperware. But the thought of doing that never occurred to me. I was like would you combine them in the bowl? I think she combined them in the Tupperware, but I hadn't the thought of doing that never occurred to me. I was like, you can combine cereal together.

My brother would do that with, we used to get like when you would go to 7-Eleven and get a collector's cup. Oh yeah. The big like a commemorative big gulp cup. My brother would eat cereal out of that. And he would mix like, you know, Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Fruit Loops or whatever. Crazy man. out of that. And he would mix like, you know, cinnamon toast

crunch and fruit loops or whatever. Crazy man. I've never done this. But now I'm willing to try ever combined. No, never never had a cereal orgy. This really is something I'm gonna try. Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna get two distinctly different cereals. Anyway, three, I'm loving chocolate crisps. I've had, I've tried with crispies with my afternoon coffee every day. Yeah, because I mean, rice crispies

can really fill in a lot of gaps. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's yeah, exactly. It's kind of like it's the mortar. Exactly. Yes, yes, yes. So my overheard is an overseen. Okay.

And this is one from the local, our neighborhood has a Facebook group. Mm hmm. I noticed you joined. Yep. Yeah. Because Alicia Toven tagged me on it. So I was like, well, I might as well join. Alicia sometimes will say, hey, I saw a coyote. Yeah, coyote warning. But this is one from, must have been a few weeks ago.

And it says, hi, neighbors. This is from an anonymous member of the neighborhood group. Hi, neighbors. I went home today and noticed that there were three unopened condoms by my doorstep. I wonder if there is anyone that had the same experience recently, chose to post anonymously because it kind of creeps me out. Yeah. Having three unopened condoms, I think.

To me, that's fine. Out of the open condoms. Yeah, exactly. It's like, that just could have fallen out of my wallet. I thought it was going to be, does anybody want these? No. It's as though we used to throw them away, you know? They're still good.

Yeah, that's somebody just, they fell out of their pocket. Or they were, you know, they opened them on the way home from the drugstore and they flew Everywhere and they were too embarrassed to pick them up. Oh Man, yeah, that's it. Maybe it's a new city of Vancouver initiative. Yeah, it's just leave them just read them around Yeah, you're using AI to it to like look at all the houses and which ones have the most yeah to like look at all the houses and which ones have the most risk for STDs. Yeah. I don't hear much about safe sex anymore. No.

Yeah, exactly. There's not very many pop stars putting out songs about sex and how to have safe sex. That was a big part of my youth. Yeah? Yeah. While you were watching Beast Wars, we were listening to Salt and Pepper. There was a PLC. They had songs specifically.

And Salt and Pepper on their record had a skit from a high school. Yeah, and you probably don't even remember that you could get a free video at Blockbuster that was Arsenio Hall and Magic Johnson talking about HIV. Yeah. Do not remember that. I bet you that's on YouTube.

Oh, that's what I'm gonna to watch tonight when I get home. Mormon wives are that. Those are the two choices. Mine is an overseen. I was in a grocery store in Victoria, and there was a little setup table with samples or whatever, and it had those gold balloons that have just like dominated Mylar balloons for years and years. And just the exact angle that I saw it,

it looked like it said piss, but the E was just slowly coming around the corner of surprise. But for a second I fully, it was like piss, holy shit, somebody's doing it here in the grocery store, somebody's fucking around. I can't, I've had a few like, oh, I almost overseen something, but I misread it. But I've never stooped to what you just did.

Yeah. Yeah, it just shows you where my mind is, I guess, on piss. It's funny, I've had a few lately, but I can't remember what they are. What, piss related thoughts? No, things where I'm like, oh, does that sign say, no, it've had a few lately, but I can't remember what they are. What, piss-related thoughts? No, things where I'm like, oh, does that sign say, no, it's just a normal sign. Yeah, yeah, I've had a lot of those. Well, I had one recently.

Now we also have overheard sent in to us by people all over the map. If you want to send one in, send it in to SPY at Maximalfun.org. And this first one comes from Kate from Seattle. I was recently in the checkout at Costco. You know you're gonna hear some good stuff there. The cashier and attendant were chatting both nerdy dudes and I overheard one of them say, you know, you're allowed to go to a Ren fair

without entirely homemade leather outfit. And in my opinion, that's incorrect. No, yeah, you have to have an entirely a homemade leather outfit. Yeah, and it's, why bother? If you're not gonna do that, right? That's short for Renaissance Fair. That is correct.

Yes. You can actually wear a beekeeper outfit you have. Yeah, if you have one. No one goes to the Renaissance Fair with that plague doctor outfit. Well, probably some do. Yeah. I think the Renaissance fair with that plague doctor outfit. Well, probably some do. Yeah. I think the Renaissance came after the plague.

Oh, being a stickler. I think they were multi- there were actually, I think the plague came back a few times. It was like the McRib. Like the McRib. Just sort of based on the pork prices in the market at the time. Is that why they... Someone pinpointed it, but also they couldn't determine whether it was McDonald's buying so much pork that it affected the pork prices.

Oh, oh, gross. Wasn't that like a thing in Wall Street in the 80s? Pork futures. Pork bellies. Yeah. Anyways, guys, we could talk about pork all night, but we're here to talk about piss. That's the meeting we've assembled here for. This one comes from Lindsey, don't know where from. I was driving my kids home from school when we saw a guy riding a bicycle that he clearly

modified to have massive handlebars, so big that he had to reach up and Head height to hold them so like giant ape hanger looking thing Yeah, and my teenager son said now that's a sight to see That's a sight for sore eyes Have you ever seen motorcycles with these? Do I get to? Oh, the huge ones. The huge ones, that's what I think this was. Yeah, I for sure have seen those.

I haven't seen them lately. I see a lot of like crazy bicycles because I live in East Vancouver. Oh, sure. There's a lot of like bicycles that are three times as high as they should be. Ah, yes. I was at the, there's a place where you can recycle car seats, like baby car seats.

Oh yeah. Apparently the week I went to was the week. They do the third Saturday of every month, but not September apparently. Right. But while I was in the park trying to find where I was supposed to drop these things off, there were people playing unicycle hockey. Oh, weird.

And like, I guess the stick has to be extra long? I averted my eyes. The abs extra hard. Yeah, do you see any unicycles in your neighborhood? No, but there is like a bike polo league near me Hmm. Yes, like bike pull. It's the most East Vancouver. Would you play now that you're a cycle boy? No, cuz I don't like any idea of like trying to balance on a bike going back and forth It doesn't yeah, you ride without your hands on the handlebar. Sometimes I can't do that. They use the like mallet

Yeah, they have little mallets. Shit. That means business, man. Yeah. They're whacking that thing. Yeah. Just whacking that ball around. Wacking off in the bike polo court. Is it on concrete? It's on concrete. Okay. Yeah, it's a fenced off area. It's used for bike polo or people with their dogs.

Oh, okay. It's an off leash area. Not officially, but it's just any area that is fenced in is Hello, are people with their dogs? Oh, okay. It's an off-leash area? Not officially, but it's just, any area that is fenced in, it becomes an unofficial off-leash area. Our dogs aren't good with other dogs, but so we do sometimes let them run around in a tennis court.

Right with you there. You have, is your dog well-trained? Because I remember when you had a puppy, you were like, it was trying to get a thing. Defined well-trained. I mean, he's okay trained at some things, at some things no. So, yeah. Our dogs are nice, but like unpredictable. Yeah, my dog's very particular with other dogs. There's some other dogs he's fine with and some he

does not like and I never know for sure which it's gonna be. So, I usually... Our old dog was so good. Yeah. He would roll over right away for all the dogs. He was so submissive. He was such a simp. I know, you see. Yeah, but I feel like my dog never,

he's never like learned to be submit. And our two, we have two dogs and they fight, well, they don't fight. They like play, fight all the time. And it is so loud and scary to some people. It's like constant snarling. Yeah, snarling and biting, fight all the time. And it is so loud and scary to some people. It's like constant snarling. Yeah, snarling and biting, like chomping. Yeah, yeah.

And then my dog's just loud, like he barks a lot. And so like with kids, it's just, or like he's not used to younger kids. So it's just like, they're like, oh, can we pet him? Because he's very cute. Yeah. Like he's a doodle.

And it's just like, no, he's going to make you cry. You're like, probably. People are not expecting a no when they ask to pet just like, no, he's gonna make you cry. You're like, probably. People are not expecting a no when they ask to pet your dog. Yeah, that's true. What are you saying? No, I'm afraid not.

And a lot of people who are asking, they're like, I'm not listening to your answer. Yeah, exactly. I'm gonna pet your dog. Actually, we got him that handkerchief that the city's putting out where it says it's a yellow handkerchief they're trying to get off the ground.

It says like, I need space on it. Oh Good idea. Can you get people where? I'm sure there's a lot of people in Vancouver requesting that This last one comes from Brittany in Downington, Pennsylvania In the same vein of Dave's boring dreams. I recently had two one I In the same vein of Dave's boring dreams, I recently had two. One, I was watching a baseball game on TV and there was a pitch clock violation. In the dream.

In the dream. Wow. What do you get? Do you get a strike? I don't know. Is that a ball? Yeah. I think it would be a ball.

Wait, I mean, maybe not knowing the dream. If you get a strike, then they'd just be like, I'm waiting at the clock on this one. To save my arm. And the second one was, I'm very excited since I found a really good nail file. Oh yeah. Because when you find one, you're dedicated to a brand, right?

I don't think I ever file my nails. I haven't if. But if I ever do, I ever file my nails. I haven't if. But if I ever do, I borrow Abby's. Yeah, I have done in the past. I haven't done it in a long time, but. I'm a big kind of nice nail cutter. I keep my nails very short. Yeah, that's a fun Friday night if you ask me.

Some Mormon wives. Some clipping. Some clipping, absolutely. Freestyle, I don't go one nail at a time. I'll do it. Really? Yeah. Oh, it's chaos.

Whoa. Yeah, absolutely. That's how it keeps me interested. Same with brushing my teeth. I go all over the place. I used to be like, I would do all 10 at the same time. And now, some days I'll be like, oh, this one's sticking out a bit. And then, you know, I'll cut one nail.

The next day, next time I check, oh, there's four to do. Like, I don't I'll cut one nail the next day next time I check oh there's four to do like I don't do a whole hand in the same day do you ever like let a nail go a little bit a little bit too far more and more than is regular. I do though I did have a teacher in high school who was a pretty out there teacher and he for sure had a coke nail oh yeah but like is that always going to be the pinky coke nail or is gonna be any it was pinky but then like people are like oh he has a coke nail and I yeah. But like. Is that always gonna be the pinky Coke nail or is it gonna be any nail? It was pinky but then like people were like, oh he has a Coke nail and I was like,

maybe he just likes playing classical guitar with one finger. You don't know. Oh, it's not Judge's guess. What is the, if he's a shop teacher, does the sauce stop at the nail? That's how he cuts his nails. Wow, that's Tony Soprano stuff.

Yeah. In addition to over-hours that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us, our phone number is 1-844-779-7631. That's one, ugh, Bipod one like these people have. Hey, Dave Graham guest. Brian from Detroit. I just found somebody's iPhone in the park and I called their emergency contact and it

rang like eight times until this person picked up for just long enough for me to hear them on the other end go, Sam, your phone's calling me. But just let everybody know I did get the phone back calling me. But just let everybody know I did get the phone back to them. Good. So, guys, I don't know what this thing is either. This emergency contact, if I lose my phone. Oh, it belongs to the sea. Yeah. Do you know what he's talking about? You see, this is a way if you pick up someone's phone is locked.

You can call the emergency. Oh, really? I assumed that like if you've never done, I'm just guessing. If you do what? Like you're like if your phone is locked and someone else picks it up. Yeah. It can only call like emergency contact number. Oh, well, how does it do that? I don't know how to do any of this.

I'm just an educated guess. Every time I pick up my phone, it knows me. Yeah, that's your face Yeah, and this if you squeeze both on the side, then it'll go emergency call that calls 911 Yeah, I assume unless it's my emergency contact, huh? Cuz I don't think I've put an emergency contact to my phone. It doesn't even know who Well, if anyone knows what we out there knows what we should do, we don't care.

That's like, you gotta put that, it's like, emergency contact, I mean, you're married now, so you can't do this, but that's like in a relationship, that's like a romantic gesture when you're like, you're now my emergency contact. Oh yeah, I've got her phone number tattooed across my chest. Yeah.

I still have my ex-girlfriend as my room. Don't tell Abby. Hey, Dave and Graham. This is Adrian calling in with an overheard. I heard some local elementary school kids on the playground giving one kid a hard time. He was wearing Adidas shirt and Adidas like track pants and a kid they were arguing and the other kid pointed to this young man and said look at you you're brand loyal. Oh man that is on the one hand or or do you like, do you?

Are you like, yeah, I am. But big fucking deal. But also like, is it worse to have Nike shoes, Puma socks? I feel like being Brandon Oil was like the coolest thing you could do when I was on playgrounds. Yeah, right? Which was last week, no. He's gotta get on those monkey bars.

Look at old New Balance over here. But was it, remember being so cool in school and someone had like Nike? Yeah. Yeah. You didn't have a brand. It was not cool. Oh yeah. If you didn't, if you were just neutral, might as well not go to school, honestly.

Now I love a neutral shirt, hat, pant, but... Oh yeah. But still your sneaker heads, they want to show off. Didn't you see like a Benadryl or Benalin? Yeah, there's Benalin. What if you had to tell Benalin shirt, Benalin pants? This guy's so brand loyal, he's wearing clothes from a company that doesn't even make clothes. Yeah, they have a limited edition sneaker that I bought. Reebok Benelit sneakers.

And here's your final phone call. Hi, David. Great, my guest. This is Emily from Cincinnati calling in an overheard. Me and my boyfriend Caleb, who's also a bumper, were hiking in Gatlinburg, Tennessee. And we were walking past this group of eight guys. It seemed like they were on a bachelor trip or something like that.

And one of them said, I'm getting a boner from all this hiking. And the second guy said, that's from all the friction against the taint. Well, off I go. There's no more surefire way than rubbing that taint. Climbing a mountain, rubbing that t taint getting a boner from all this hiking Sure, that's what you're getting Yeah, that's only natural. It's a natural thing. Keep us posted on any further boners you get I mean, it's how can you not when you have those walking poles? Oh, yeah when your boner knows you can't do anything

Cuz you're occupied He's got his hands full-time. Crop up. Well, that brings us to the end of this episode. Jacob, tell us where we can find all this information. You're going on a tour. Did I mention anything about the tour? Yes, you mentioned that you're going on a tour. It's called the Pop Mart tour. Yeah. So, if you go to my Instagram,

at BY Jacob Samuel, or then you click on my link tree, which is Jacob Samuel comedy. There's all the information for the tour. I'm going to Toronto, Ottawa, Montreal. Then my recording date is in Vancouver, and there's still tickets for the shows on November 10th at the China Cloud.

Can I get in there for free because I'm a comedian? You can. Yes. Fuck all you guys. I'll see you in hell. I have to take away a spot from someone. I've done two open mics. Can I get in for free because I'm a comedian? Yeah.

Yes. You'll need to hold a camera and no tripod. Yeah. No, I'll follow you on stage and do some audience shots as well. Yeah, and my first special is still on YouTube. It's called Horsepower, two separate words. Yeah. But all my stuff's on the socials. It's on the socials. Find them on his link tree.

Jacob, also a very funny cartoonist. He sat down. He's sitting underneath a cartoon he himself made. I totally forgot that you had that. Yeah, yeah. And it's a hilarious. I thought I told you as you sat down and you just didn't seem impressed.

Oh no, I was not listening. I was not listening. I'm sorry. But it's a picture of a man throwing a paper airplane. It's a picture of you. It's labeled you. Oh yeah, it's me. But it's a picture of a man throwing a paper airplane. It's a picture of you. It's labeled you. Oh, yeah.

It's me. But it's not you, Jacob. It's you, the reader. You, the reader. Your idea is the paper airplane, and the internet is a bunch of flames. Yeah, a sea of fire. Yeah, a sea of fire. Love it.

Thank you for being our guest. Thanks for having me. Of course. And thank you, all you out there. As Dave said, when you call in, we want to hear Ghost only for October. Although, and then for November, Roast. Yeah, so it's Ghost, Roast, and then Toast,

because at Christmas you have toast. These are the things that we're hoping you get into in a big way. And this is based on the word guest? Yeah. Toast. Ghost roast toast. And come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. Maximum Fun, a worker-owned network of artist-owned shows supported directly by you.