Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 878 - Amy Walsh

Episode Date: January 14, 2025

Comedian Amy Walsh joins us to talk Irish stuff, duck cakes, and Seattle. Follow us: Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Bluesky.

Hi, he's Dave Schumke. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 878 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name's Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who prefers a corn nut chocolate bar over a potato chip chocolate bar, but he'll eat both if it's an emergency. Mr. Dave Schumpke.

Yeah, we've had a lot of chocolate over the break. Yeah, me too. And almost demolished a whole box of after eights. And they were individually wrapped too, so the evidence is everywhere. Oh yeah, that is true. No, we went through a lot of Ferrero Rocher's, we had some Purdy's Chocolate Hedgehogs,

we had some turtles. Oh, turtles, yeah. And then the Swedish group of family sent over some marabou Yum, yeah You know, I like that crunchy corn popcorn corn pop. Yeah. Yeah, he likes the pop. He loves the crunch. Yeah, there's a cork like a chocolate covered corn popcorn with corn nut energy

What are corn nuts? Corn nuts are There's like a salty Corn nut energy. What are corn nuts? Corn nuts are, I'm in trouble now. They're like a salty. Oh! Corn nuts. They're like a big, like imagine a big piece of corn. And then imagine it's insane. Imagine it's completely dried out, but it's big.

It somehow gets, it gets bigger than corn. Yeah. I always thought there was corn formed together in a shape Oh wait, I have had these sorry. Yeah corn. I just had like a yeah. Yeah, and they're yeah, they come in like a little packet They're great. Yeah, we don't have them in Ireland. They're class. They look like that. Oh, yeah, don't apologize corn nuts are not like they're not something the Human mind should be able to conjure I kept calling them corny nuts and the girls were getting so mad at me Like, they're not something the human mind should be able to conjure.

I kept calling them corny nuts and the girls were getting so mad at me. I was like, you know those corny nuts? And they were like, it's just corn nuts. I like doing a little bit wrong of a thing. I like whenever talking about Star Wars, I always say Yogle instead of Yoda. That's the same. Yeah, it's the same. Yogle?

Yeah. Yeah, I like how- And then Yogle does that. I call it on Baby, the Baby Yoda, and everyone's like, his name is, I can't remember now. Ogle, it's Gogle, it's Grogle. Baby, it's Gogle.

That voice you're hearing, first time guest here on the podcast. She has a show at Little Mountain Gallery called Big Dog Energy on the 23rd? Second. Second, 23rd. It's our guest Amy Walsh. Hello Amy. Hello, thank you so much for having me.

Hey wait, which one? It's the 22nd of January. I was like, will that be really confusing? The 22nd of January, and it's all dogs doing comedy? Yeah, it's all, nah. What breed do you think is the funniest dog? What breed do I think is the funniest? Oh God, I think maybe like a retriever

because they're so dopey. They're like, ooh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You can, you can bring your dogs to the show. It's just like regular comedy,

but there's dogs in the audience. I did have a dog performer on the show the first time I did it. And it was terrible. Like one that could do tricks or something? They told me that they could do tricks and they could not. I think it got staged. The dog told you?

Yeah, the dog told me he's not going to do tricks. He's like, this talking isn't one of them. They can roll around. No one will believe you. But yeah, no sins. And then sometimes comedians bring their dogs on stage with them as well, which is fun. I guess. Yeah.

Yeah. Should we get to know us? Yeah. Yeah. Should we get to know us? Yeah. Get to know us. Amy, you're a world traveler. Every time I see your Instagram, you're in Spain, you're in Germany, you're in Ireland. You get it done. I do, I get around.

Yeah, are you a nomad everywhere you go or do you have a place that you call home or? A day. Yeah. Because I don't be able to just like sleep on people's couches and travel whenever they want. How long do you think you could keep up that lifestyle? Like you could be a couch surfer until into your 80s.

Couch surfing I don't know that I could do. Like lots of traveling I think I could do as long as the hostel is in the equation. Not the kind from the Eli Movies, I don't want to be chopped up Don't okay. Okay. Well, you don't want to go anywhere I've stayed No, honestly like it's mad like I've been very lucky this year I've got to go to New York and Barcelona for a month each and both of those have been off the back of like two different

for a month each and both of those have been off the back of like two different Irish female comedians being like hey do you want to come and stay in my house and mind my cat for a month and I'm like sure that's how both of those have happened which is insane yeah when the second hand one happened I was like what's going on here so they wait is an Irish female comedian yeah lived in Barcelona and left and said but but this cat, was she living in Barcelona? She lives there, yeah. Wow.

So yeah, so I have a friend, Katie Boyle, she lives in New York. Doesn't sound Irish. Katie Boyle, she's French actually. And then another comedian, Kyla Cobbler, so she lives in Barcelona. That's not her real surname. Which I thought it was for ages. I was like, that's her name. And then she was like, no, it's not.

It's O'Connell or something. Also very Irish. Well done, dear friend. Well done. I often see comments on the internet being like, I wish Irish people were real. And at first I was like, what the hell are they talking about? And then I started telling people stories and I'm like,

yeah, no, we are like mystical creatures. Yeah. Doing stand-up in Ireland or I think in the Maritimes here is tough because the audience is as funny, if not funnier than the person on stage. Cause like, I remember getting heckled by a couple of guys in Dublin. I was like, I'm not taking my way out of this one. Like these guys are way quicker and this is their turf.

And yeah, yeah. Yeah. You do stand over there when you go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I started there. So I started in Dublin and yeah. And then every time I go back, I do shows and it is it's it's honestly I way prefer doing stand up there because the people are more relaxed and yeah, like that they're just like more up for it. And I think that also I'm able to just speak at the speed I usually speak at as well, which

is nice. Yeah, yeah. You said you find you speak too fast in Canada. Oh, yeah. Oh my God. Especially when I moved here first. And then it was like, I had a big gap between like when COVID happened and doing gigs and stuff,

because we were on a like a serious, serious lockdown. Like our pubs didn't open for like a year and a half or something like that, which is massive. Yeah. And then the venues as well. So when I came here then, I was like nervous because I was in a new country and then nervous because I hadn't done stand-up properly in ages.

And I was listening back to recordings that I had on stage and I couldn't even understand myself. I was going so fast. I was like, well, there's no chance that these Canadians can understand me. So I really had to slow it down. And then, yeah, even when in conversation, subconsciously, I slow it down. And yeah, I was on the phone to my dad a few months ago, and then Nicky and Danielle, who I do the podcast with. Soft for us.

Soft for us, little plug there, yeah. I went on the phone with my dad, and then afterwards, they were like, you are speaking Irish there, yeah? And I was like, oh no, I don't speak Irish to my dad, he doesn't understand Irish. I was speaking English. And they were like, your joke. They wouldn't believe me, but I was just speaking at the speed and using slang that I don't use here. And he's an Irish guy that can't understand Irish? Yeah, yeah. They wouldn't believe me, but I was just speaking at the speed and using slang that I don't use here. And he's an Irish guy that can't understand Irish? Yeah, he doesn't understand. He understands Irish, he just can't speak it really.

So me and my mom will be speaking Irish and then sometimes talking about him and then he'll be like, I know what you're saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I heard my name in there. Yeah. Oopsies. Yeah, I find that over there. I swear, like the more in the city you are, the easier it is to understand people.

And then as soon as you go out into the countryside, you're like, I don't know, he just said a punch line or told me a thing that I probably need to know to get on to the next down. Yeah, like there's like, I was in a band from the age of like 19 until I moved here. What do you play? Double bass. Double bass? Yeah, and there was a fella in the band that I was in a band from the age of like 19 until I moved here. What do you play? Double bass.

Double bass? Yeah. And there was a fella in the band that I was with for like six years. He's from Donegal, which is in the northern part of Ireland. It's not in the north of Ireland. It's just that bit that, anyway. We know Donegal. We talk about it all the time.

Yeah, it's the wool with the little nubs in it. Yeah, exactly. How did you? Wow. Dave's a fashion play. All the different sweaters, all the different nits. All the types of sweaters. Well he used to be telling jokes or whatever between songs and for years I did not know

what the punchline of some of his jokes were and one day I just turned to him and go, what are you saying there? And he was like, I've told that joke a hundred times. And he was like, you laugh every time. I was like, cause I knew I was supposed to laugh. I just didn't know what you were saying. It's like Big Bang Theory. It's like, you can tell where the laugh is.

Yeah, you just pause a little bit. Like, ah, yes, ha ha. I feel like when I see a band, most of the time, the lead singer doesn't do jokes. I feel like that's something that I kind of expect but never happens. In between, it just seems like it's quiet setting up the next song. Yeah. Oh, in Ireland, that's very common. They'd be singing the most depressing song

about their, I don't know, British soldiers killing everybody and then they'll just whack in a few jokes in between and then the next, yeah, it's very common. I remember I went to the Reading Festival in outside of London, it's spelled R-E-A-D-I-N-G and they, pulp was playing and Jarvis Cocker said, everyone bring your books for the reading festival. And they laughed and I was like,

you can't let them get away with that. When I was in Edinburgh, I was doing like a, you kind of do a lot of different, are you going to Edinburgh? Uh-huh, what? For the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. Am I going? Have you to be?

Oh, I have, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Bad place, Jesus Christ. And I did a show, it was like, did stand up and then the host interviewed you, kind of thing. And at one point, I, yeah. Bad place, Jesus Christ. And I did a show, it was like, did stand up and then the host interviewed you, kind of thing, and at one point, instead of saying Scottish, I actually said English. Oh.

Instead of saying Scottish girls, I said English girls, and everyone in the crowd was like, ooh, and I didn't know what I had done. I was like, what, is he behind me? Is he doing a fun and silly thing? But yeah, whew. Yeah, calling Irish or Scottish people English is yeah. It's up there, right? Oh, yeah.

We're like, we start twitching. Yeah. And then sometimes the people will double down and they'll be like, yeah, but it's the same thing. And I'm like, I'm gonna punch it. Like I did. Because the first one, I'm like, OK, they don't know. But I'm like, it's OK. And then when they double down, I'm like, okay now it's personal. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, but like what's your opening move in a fight? Do you do a headbutt? You get take a right left? What do you go with? You know, I've never actually been in a physical fire. I'm just all talk No, that's a lie I have with my sister over a cardigan

That was hers that I was wearing when I was 15 and then she tried to take it off me and I said no and then we had a big physical fight and pulling hair and then I ended up throwing the cardigan out the window. Shit. Yeah, I was like I know how to solve this. What floor were you on? Oh, it was on the ground.

Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, it was just out in the path. But it was like this is the end of the fight. Yeah, my dad was like trying to like, he didn't know what, he's an only child so he doesn't understand siblings fighting. Um, cause we're fighting in Irish and he couldn't understand. He was like, the girls have gone wild.

Yeah. I used to do that, uh, very much destroying my parents place with my two brothers. Oh yeah. Wrestling. Oh God. And I've, I've told this story on the podcast before, but like, I was bullying them all the way up until they took Kung Fu and then they really turned the tables on me. And they like, they one day like beat the shit out of me.

They took Kung Fu? Yeah. Yeah. And as it was happening, I was like, you're reading what you saw. This is, this is all your fault. Did you know that they were doing kung fu? Oh yeah, oh can you imagine? I just found out a secret.

Where are they going every Friday? Yeah. And then one day they just went, whoop your ass. Yeah. Oh no. I remember I used to take my dog to Trout Lake, and there was always someone learning martial arts there. There were outdoor martial arts classes in the pouring rain.

Wow. Wow, that's commitment. But I was like, and they were wearing black, all black outfits. And they were practicing kicks and stuff in the rain? Yeah, and it was like ninja stuff, but I was like, well, if I can see you, you're not a ninja.

Yeah, I don't even have my glasses on, I can see you guys over there. But you need to know how to do it in all different weather. That's true. That's actually very true, that's a good point. Yeah, you gotta learn how to know how to do it in all different weather. That's true. That's actually very true. That's a good point. Yeah, you gotta learn how to do it

at different like elevations. Elevations, absolutely. Should be able to do it at sea. You should be able to do it in a tunnel underground. Do your kids fight physically? No. Okay. They scream.

Okay, yeah. They scream. Like right in each other's faces and that's it. Oh man. What's the age gap? It's like the amount of years between their births. Oh, specifically two. Dave is the lead singer of a band and this is some of the band he does.

They're two years apart. They're 10 and eight. 10 and eight, okay, oh nice, okay. How about you and your sister They're 10 and eight. 10 and eight. Oh, okay. Oh, nice. Okay. How about you and your sister? Me and my sister, nearly five years.

Ah, Irish twins. Yeah. I love how you just had that locked and loaded whatever, eight years. Irish twins. Yeah. Yeah, so we've been like throughout the years, like we'd get on really well and

then hate each other and get on and hate each other. But like the last few years, we've really like, yeah, we get on a lot. So no more physical fighting or like verbal fighting. Screaming. Yeah. Which is nice. Yeah. And it should be the way because we're 29 and 34 now. So yeah. But you know, some of these things just never go away. Yeah, this is true. So people don't stop. So yeah. Yeah. Why? Why did you come from over there to over to Vancouver? Honestly, I wanted to break from Ireland. I was just like, oh, I just need to get out for a while.

And then I heard the visas were kind of handy to get and English speaking. I was like, because I only speak English and Irish and a bit of French but nothing worth talking about. And then I was like, Australia is really far away, don't want to go to England. I saw pictures of Vancouver, of like the mountains and the lakes. And I heard that it doesn't snow as much here as Toronto. Well, that certainly is true. Let's give it a go.

And I was like, sure, look, I'll go. I'd never been to Canada before I moved here. And I was like, sure, I'll go and see if it's nice. And then sure, now I'm here three and a bit years later. So yeah. Well, we're glad to have you. Thank you so much. I'm glad to be here.

Yeah, it's, I think the way I was told it is there used to be a visa you could get to go to America from Ireland and there used to be a pipeline. Yes. And then Trump ended that. And then everybody, we were like, we'll take them, bring your Irish over here.

Yeah, you can get one for the summer in America called J1 visa, which people do during college and stuff. And then people just started to realize, oh, because the cities just started getting populated with Irish students every summer. People found it hard to get accommodations, so people started doing the two year visa to Vancouver,

coming for the summer, going back to college, and then being like, oh, I'll go back again. But I just did the two year, yeah. But now I have permanent residency. You do? Yes. Ah, yes. Yeah, so I can be here for another five years.

Have you gone on? That's as permanent as it gets. Yeah. What is it like, you have to be in Canada for, I don't know how it is with somebody who's like come over. You don't have to be crazy to live here, but it helps. It definitely helps, yeah. I'm just thinking the healthcare,

when that kicks in, if you're- MSP, like, MSP kicked in, I think in like three months after I moved here. Oh really? Yeah. Yeah. Nice and quick. Which was great, yeah. I was like, oh wait, I go to the doctor and I don't have to pay?

Cause in Ireland, it's like 50 euro a pop to go to the GP. So then you're like waiting for things to be wrong with you. Like so you can stack them up. I remember I went into this GP when I was living in Dublin, they had a sign that said maximum two ailments. And I was like, you guys can get fucked. I was like having a list of things then. And I was like, and this problem is connected

with my skin to my toe, because all skin is connected, right? Yeah, and you're going with a cast and a lymph, and it just asks like, what's going on there? You're like, free, let's free one. It's a new condition I have. My doctor's the same, it says no more than three. No more than three.

And I have, my wrist has been bothering me. Hey, hey, hey. Don't. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Nice. And. Maybe you're not doing it enough. Maybe that's it.

Maybe it's atrophy. It's not that. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. And I, Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. But it's, it's four week. It was a four week wait. I'm still two weeks away from getting it.

And then three, do you have three? No, I mean, boy, I'm hoping to develop a ringworm. That's the best kind. Yeah, it's, I don't think my, I don't know, doctor just does one. Just one and that's it? Do they stop you talking? Like how does it work?

No, it's just like, okay, come in, what's your problem? We'll try and figure something out. We'll weigh you while you're here. You're obese, they say. And you're welling away. Technically that's your problem, so I can't do it. Yeah, I can't do anything about it. I can't do it, I can't actually talk about it.

Don't hit the vending machine that's outside the office. I just saw a vending machine in the back of a, like a little truck, I suppose. But it was like it was full. The vending machine was full. They were transporting a full vending machine. Well, full of chips and well, I said crisps, chocolate bars. All that. What's your favorite crisp?

What's my favorite crisp? Oh, I'm so glad you asked. What fucking brand is it? It's a purple one and it's truffle flavored. Oh, it's a purple one. Yeah, it's purple. I don't know. I can't remember the brand, but it is class. Yeah. I wouldn't have it every time, but just special occasions.

Like the crisps, they're such a daily presence in the UK. Like everywhere you go. And Ireland. And Ireland, exactly. And Ireland, where the Scottish live, I've been told. Yeah. I love your Australian accent. It's beautiful. The, well, they're pretty daily here. Like, am I wrong?

Is it way? I think it's more. Yeah, I feel like there's, cause there are these little bags that you can just grab on the go and just like. Yeah, that's the thing, there's not as much here. Like the little bags. Yeah.

Yeah, big ass bags and they're so expensive here Yeah, do you get your parents to send you some crisps in the mail? I actually do I just got a box from my mom for Christmas, which she sent in November I just got it the other day because of the old strike. Yeah, and it was filled with these Irish crisps called potatoes Which type of potatoesos did you have? Because there's the Protestant tatoo and there's the Catholic tatoo. Well, I did get one after confession that you let me have. There's one crisp.

Oh, cheese and onion. I'll have it on my tongue. Yeah. Honestly, when it comes to crisps, I'm always just like original, just plain. Okay, yeah, just like ready-salted. Yeah, the cheese and onion tatos, which is like the classic one in our, just like ready-to-eat. Just me and the potato. Yeah, we see, yeah, the cheese and onion potatoes, which is like the classic one in our, it would be my favorite of all time.

They're not the best crisp, like quality-wise, but I think they're comfort. Last meal, you're gonna get these crisps. Oh yeah, that'd be on the side. Have you had breads? Breads? Breads, they're French, I think. Are they breads?

Yuck. Or breads. But they're like, the potato quality is so good And then there's a couple good flavors that are Yeah, you can get them at gourmet warehouse Somewhere fancy. Yeah, there's and there's this Jura Swiss cheese flavored one that is- Is it good? Oh, it is bomb diggity.

Pfft. What was the Rizler say about that? The Rizler. He would give us a Rizler face. He would give us five booms. Bomb diggity, they should put that on the packet. It's bomb diggity, Dave Schumke. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I did have lemon crisps recently and I thought it would be weird, but it tasted like, do you know when you put a lemon on the fish that you would have a fish and chips? I don't, but Dave knows. Why? Do you not like it? I'm not allergic. You're allergic to very fun things. Yeah, the most fun things.

Apples, dogs, fish, anything else? Nuts. Nuts? Yeah. Oh, damn. fun. Yeah. Apples, dogs, fish, anything else? Nuts. Nuts. Yeah. Oh, damn. I know. How about dairy? You know what? I think probably I am, but I can't surrender everything. No, you can't. I was just craving a big glass of chocolate milk a couple weeks ago, and I gave into that craving. Yeah, I had the same thing around two weeks ago. I was like, you know what,

we'll go and I think it's because I was watching Men in Black 3 and in order to protect their brain from time traveling, you had to drink chocolate milk. I was like, yeah, that sounds pretty good. I never made it to part 3. It was my favorite one actually, it turns out. Did I make it even part 2? Yeah, I think I did. I want to rewatch them.

I haven't watched them since I was a kid. They're great. I mean, the third one's really good. I can't remember the second, but there's a scene where they play the New York by Alicia Keys. Oh, yeah. And it's kind of brought down. It's supposed to be Tommy Lee Jones singing it, but he doesn't know the rhythm.

And I don't even think he knows the words. Wait, what? Did he mouth it? rhythm and I don't even think he knows the words. Like, did he mouth it? No, it was him, but I think probably he was like, I'm not doing it again. Like, I'm not listening to this song. I'm not doing it again. No. What year did that come out then?

If it was Alicia Keys. 20, somewhere around the 2010s, maybe? I don't know. Is there only- Because then they rebooted it with like a- Chris Hemsworth? Chris Hemsworth, yeah. Oh, Jesus, come on.

Yeah. Leave it where it is. Make a fourth. I'll watch the fourth. Is it a fourth or is it a new one? No, it's a new one. It's a new one. I think have they done one or two new ones?

Oh, that I don't know. That I can't speak to. You know, I was thinking yesterday, I heard someone talk about a Superman trailer or something. And I was just sitting there thinking, are we just gonna remake everything until over and over and over and over and over? And it's just like, when does it stop? Yeah, no, it doesn't.

So Men in Black- It does when you die. That's when it stops. Okay, Men in Black 1, 1997. Men in Black 2, 2002. Men in Black 2, 2002. Men in Black 3, 2012. And Men in Black International, 2019. Men in Black International, Jesus. Because in 20... Was it 2012 was the third one? Because I worked in a video store at

the time. Oh, fun. And so they gave... They had merch come in and I always wore a men in black 3-e shirt because people were like, that's awfully specific a thing to be a fan of. The third one. I like the third one. The best. On the Wikipedia, it lists it as a 407 minute running time for the full four.

The full four. Oh man. Have you ever done that? Like a binge of every movie in a series all at once? Yes. We did The Lord of the Rings. There was a big snow in Ireland in 20, oh God, maybe 17 or something. The whole country stopped,

like just shut down because we don't know how to handle snow. Then I was working from home and stuff and I ended up at my boyfriend at the Times house with all of our friends. And then we did Lord of the Rings like for three consecutive days and we had drinking games throughout it. And yeah, it was so much fun. It was great. And I also came up in that invention of which my friend just reminded me of the other day, which was you go outside, you get the top layer of the snow off, and then you dig and you fill your glass with the snow, and then you pour Baileys into it.

It was delicious. It's like a milkshake meets snow cone. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was fantastic. Then we watched the Lord of the Rings. What do you think? What's your then we watched the Lord of the Rings.

What did you think? What's your review? Of the Lord of the Rings. I loved it. I really liked it. Had you seen it before? So my dad, when he, my mom was gone away somewhere and he was like, I don't know what to do with these children.

So he was like, let's bring them. I don't even understand them. What the hell are we going to do? My mom used to have to put a big sign on the fridge and say, don't forget to feed the kids, PJ. Cause he just didn't. Like he had no idea what to do with us. And then, yeah. So then he was like, what do I do with these kids?

Brought us to like the first Lord of the Rings. Is it just the two of you? No, three. There's a brother, there's a brother in between us. Ah, Irish triplets. Yeah. Classic. Yes.

So yeah, he brought us to the Lord of the Rings and I was like seven maybe and I had no interest and I just remember the whole movie. I just like ran around the cinema which also not great. My dad was just like she can do whatever she wants. But then from that moment I was like I hate the Lord of the Rings for years and then I was like well I was like hold on I love Star Wars. I love this fantasy stuff. Maybe I should give Lord of the Rings a go again and I did was like, well, I was like, hold on. I love Star Wars. I love this fantasy stuff. Maybe I should give Lord of the Rings a go again. And I did, and I was like, oh, this is great, yeah. But I couldn't tell you like specific things.

I forget movies after I watched it. Oh, Graham and I are big. We like, all the like niche nerd stuff. We're so into like- Yeah, like the band on what it says in the ring. Yeah, what it says in there, it's so cool. What does it say? It says, yo ho ho.

Yo ho ho, away we go. Yeah. Any other questions? It says, do not melt under any circumstances. Not microwave safe. We love it. We love it. We love it.

Do you like the little, you don't like the little things? We love the little crawly man. Crawly man. Crawly man? Crawling man walking trees. I think that's really awkward. My valuable ring. Marv. Marv.

Marv. Marv. Yogul. My valuable ring it is. Yogul. Yogul, is that you? Yogul, is that you? He's back.

He's back. Do you not like the Lord of the Rings? I watched them all. Yeah? I watched them all. Yeah, I watched them all and famously fell asleep in each one. Ah, okay, yes, yes, yes. I liked the third. The third one. See, the thing is, I couldn't tell you one thing that happened.

I mean, I remember like... I like the third because it ended. It's done. I actually, I don't drink anymore, so I would be interested to watch it back without drink without the Bailey's without the Bailey's snow Yeah, you Have you Bailey's is Irish. Yes Here it's advertised in very weird ways

Yeah, like they would advertise it like there's the one where they drop on someone's tongue Yeah, and it's also like it pours weird, so they really slow down the pour. And there's like some where they advertise it like on top of ice cream. Yeah. Right. Yeah, that's bad. And ice, which I wouldn't,

I just never associated ice with Bailey's. Oh, it's so good with ice. Yeah. Was that how you're regular whenever you were? Christmas time. Christmas time. We've got to get you back drinking. Yeah. Get you back on it.

Honestly, like we were out. We make our own Baileys. I can't actually, my wrist is hurt. Wrist is too weak. Another amazing local comedian, Cas Firm, and she recently, we were out and she had a Baileys and then I was like, can I smell your Bailey's? So she just had it on the table in between us. I just kept smelling.

I was like, lovely. And then she looked up how to make non-alcoholic Bailey's. So we made it and it didn't actually taste like Bailey's, but I loved the intention. What is that? Like, is that a million ingredients or is it super simple? Yeah, there was a lot of cream and there was some, I actually can't remember, I think there was coffee involved. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, random things. It just tasted like chocolate milk, which is delicious. Yeah, that's nice to get a craving for. Yeah, sometimes you have a big old glass of it. Then you have a belly ache. But yeah, no, it wasn't exactly it, but yeah, I'm hoping the Baileys bring out a non-alcoholic version of it.

That seems like it's everybody's way to wait it, but yeah, I'm hoping the Baileys bring out a non-alcoholic version of it. That seems like it's everybody's... Yeah, exactly. ...waited out. Yeah. Now, speaking of Irish delicacies, you have brought us two, what do you call these? Rice Krispie buns. They're not Rice Krispie treats or squares that we call them.

No. And they are, which are, I think, two ingredient. They are Rice Krispies and marshmallows, and then maybe a little vanilla. The Rice Krispies tweets. Yeah. Tweets, Jesus. I used to actually not be able to say my oars,

so sometimes it slips out that my tongue forgets. Pretty much the cutest disability to have is saying your... Not able to say your oars. But I remember I knew I couldn't say them because my brother and sister would be like, what's that? And it would be a cow. And then I'd be like, oh, it's a cow. And they were like, it's a cow?

What? No. And then I went to speech therapy and I worked so hard to be able to say my or's because I was like, I'm not getting bullied anymore. How did they even express like, okay, you got to just, I would be like, just say your or's regular. Just say that. Try that.

Just say, instead of saying cow, just go through the alphabet. Just say it. So when you say or, naturally are- Are you saying or? So yeah, that's okay. Yeah. The thing you drive a boat with. So what you say are, that feels so far in my mouth.

I used to work in reception of this animation company and I'd have to send people to H or what I'd say H or and they'd be like, what? And I'd be like, H R. That doesn't, you know, do I stutter? Sorry. Yeah. So, know, do I stutter? Sorry. Yeah. Oh yeah. Do they teach you? So when you say your oars, like in a word, your tongue actually curls up without you realizing.

And then some people like me, the tongue stays flat. So then you say, yeah, and then it was like whatever, ca, ca. So then I had to learn how to curl my tongue up. I love that, like the subliminal sub. Subsubsubsubsubsublysubsub. Subconscious, subconscious like speaking of like you don't pay attention to what your tongue and teeth are doing. Ever. Until you bite your tongue. What the hell man. And like if someone shows you like a diagram of how you make whatever sound. Yeah. Yeah. Whoa, it's true. I just need to correct this. And so these are. Sorry. Yes. Oh God. I am tangent city. I told you to.

That's what a podcast is. Yeah. Tension city. ADHD on fire today. Can we try one of those? Tell us what it is. Okay. So sorry. Yeah. Because Graham's allergic? Yeah. Tell us what it is for you. So, sorry. Because Graham's allergic to it. Does it have any fish in it? Yeah.

Is it made with tuna? That's actually chocolate, tuna, and rice krispies. So these ones, I actually threw some marshmallows into them. Beautiful. So yeah, they're usually, it's just rice krispies and melted chocolate and that's it. And then you put them in little bun cases and then they harden and then you can put a little topping.

So I threw some marshmallows in those ones. And by bun case bun case you mean what you call that. What do you call that? Yeah, a cupcake liner or yeah So, yeah, I made them so we had a women's Irish Christmas, which is on the 6th of January. It's like this little. Did you say women's Irish Christmas? Yeah, yeah. So it's this little idea. Yeah. Sorry, my brain is having so many thoughts. Eh.

Not mine. Not mine. Very silent. On the 6th of January, it's like this thing where we, after Christmas, where all the women get together because they've spent the whole Christmas cooking and cleaning. And then the six is supposed to be the time where they actually get to celebrate together.

So I had a little gathering at my house of some women and I made these and I was like, God, they're the best. And so easy and like, yeah. And then I was thinking, I was like, so many, I wonder is it in any other country, these Rice Krispie buns? And I was like, because Irish people, not to be like, poor little Irish people but we didn't have many treats back in the day so they were like,

okay, what can we do? Now we have all of them. You didn't have, wait, you personally didn't have treats or the country didn't? The country didn't have a huge selection of treats and stuff. I suppose some imaginative, probably ladies were like, what do we have? Chocolate and Rice Kris imaginative, probably ladies, were like, what do we have? Chocolate and Rice Krispies? Let's put them together.

And they're not buns by any... Don't let the bun case fool you. Yes, they are. They're in a bun case, but they're not technically buns, but yeah, we call them buns and no one has ever questioned that. But hey, life is all about questions. You're in the hot seat and he's asking the typical question. Why is this called a bun? Yeah, what exactly is going on here?

Well, they're delicious. And nutritious, I assume. Thank you. Very, very nutritious. That's the fish, yeah. Yeah, we'll put a little fish oil in there. Yeah, a little fish. You also, you host a show where people bring their dogs, like Dog Energy.

Yes. Which is on the 22nd of January and also the 31st of January. But if you're in Ireland, it's the 23rd. That's true. Yeah, because they're ahead, they're time zones ahead. Yeah. Yes, so it's a regular comedy show, but you can bring your dogs to it. So like, I've done it. I think I bombed the dogs like me the dogs were like howling after every

joke and I was like is that bad or they have been pain are they signaling that I'm one of them? Well you did that sort of Bob Barker thing at the end where he's told them to have them spayed and neutered. He did it was crazy. They didn't like that. They cried. Yeah, don't tell us how to cut our dogs up, I guess. What is it? Cause it was packed the time I did it. Is it always full? Because generally, yeah, yeah. People wanna be with their dogs.

It's crazy because the way I came up with the idea was I came over here and then I was looking after dogs cause I just love dogs and I was like, I don't have my own here. And then I was doing minding dogs and so many couples were like, oh, we can't go out without getting a sitter for the dog because it has anxiety and all of this stuff, which also in Ireland, we're like,

what, you get sitters for your dogs? Like a lot of dogs in Ireland live outside. So. Yeah. I didn't know that people did that. Oh yeah. For an evening. Oh yeah. For an evening. Oh yeah.

Like I know we've had dog sitters for when we go away. Yeah, for evenings. People don't like, so many of them were like, we can't even leave it for a few hours. Like we have to get a seizure or but, and then I was like, well, why don't I put the things that I love, comedy and dogs together? And then yeah, and then I started it.

And it's been honestly like, sold out, if not not nearly sold out every time do the dogs always get along or there there's be what would there's been no fights sit yes like because I have it in the description I'm like socialized dogs only right because a lot of dogs are not socialized and then they'll start fighting and stuff but there have been like but nothing crazy have you been to the baseball games where they let the dogs come? No, I haven't been on that day. Is that, are there fights there?

No, no, I just. The baseball players, they fight like crazy. That's right, yeah. The dogs are howling and cheering them on. Hit them. Some of the dogs, you can tell it's a bit much. Yeah, at the baseball game? Okay, yeah.

There's a lot of cheering. That's a lot. A lot of cheering, a lot of hot dogs. Yeah, they're seeing all these dogs, yeah. There's a lot of cheering and a lot of hot dogs. Yeah, they're saying all these hot dogs. Yeah. Is that my brother? It's mostly like when the dogs come in first, that's when they're like, ah, there's so many dogs.

And then they get a bit excited. But then throughout the show, they're generally like asleep or just like in their owner's arms or whatever. And like, and like I literally had a show the other day in Little Mountain Gallery and the fire alarm went off. And not one dog even flinched. I was like, this is mad. They're very well-trained dogs.

They do. They're very well-trained to burn in the fire. Yeah, to burn. They're the opposite of like a Dalmatian with the fire department. They're like, we're not getting up for this. I'm like, nah. So like, that's a thing that happens fairly regularly

at Little Mountain Gallery. Fire alarm. Yeah, because the building above it, it can trigger it. Yeah. Has that happened to you? No, it hasn't happened to me yet. Oh yeah, see I know that it's in there like a pre-show thing. Yeah.

Like it might happen. And then I was like, I just forgot to mention it and then it happened and I was like it's a false alarm so you guys could just like stay if you want and then they just we just continued the show Amber Harper young is a trooper and she just kept going through it nice yeah yeah yeah me and the six people that come to my show we'd all walk out together and just hang out on the street for a while. Oh, you go outside like? Oh yeah, that's what people, that's what we're told to do. Did you not have fire drills in school?

We did, but I don't know, in Ireland we always assume it's not a fire and everyone just sits there and if it is something emergent, like an actual emergency, we expect that someone will just come and tell us. Because we're just like, ah, it's fine. There are certain things you like learn as a kid and then when you're an adult, you're like, oh, come on. Do you think fire drills is one of those? Yeah, I think it sort of is. It's like, do I have to, I didn't, do I have to, I'm going to have to put on a coat? Yeah, I mean, it's a good lesson and how to get out of a fire I don't you know, you're like, oh and then we all will walk in like this very dignified way out of the place But if there's a fire I feel like if you have common sense you'd be like, okay

Let's everyone just like get out of the building Yeah, but not like cram cram yourself in so you're like the three stooges and you can't get through the door Yeah, and just scream the whole time trample. Trample your friends. Trample your friends. Take your shoes off, throw them inside. Yeah. Yeah. Is that a three-studious thing? No, just like chaos. Okay. Because you never practiced it. Taking your shoes off shortly, yeah.

Poke your friend in the eye. They put their hand in between. Kick him. I mean, and that's the thing about, I think maybe it happened more in elementary school than high school. Kids were always pulling that alarm, that fire alarm thing about, I think maybe it happened more in like elementary school than high school. Kids were always pulling that alarm, that fire alarm. Wow, really? Yeah, what a thrill, you know?

Yeah, that's fun. I think we maybe had one false alarm, like one that wasn't a fire drill. I think it was, to me I think it was the grade sixes. But. It's always them. Yeah, exactly. What age is grade six?

That's 12. Oh, it's what in Ireland you would call your fourth forms. I thought you were going to say something about triplet or a quintet. A-levels, A-levels. That's UK. Oh, you don't have to know. Ours is the leave-in cert is the final exam. We do the junior cert when you're like 15.

Actually, I think they might have changed it now. But leave-in cert, yeah, you have to do these. Yeah, grade sixes are all about 11, 11, 12. Yeah. And that would be a middle school. Is that in high school or middle? Oh yeah. That would be elementary school cut for me at six.

And then there was seven, eight, nine, and then another school for 10, 11, 12. So you have three different schools, elementary, middle, and high school. Not in Vancouver though. We only had elementary and high school. Oh, is it like a state or not a state, provincial thing? I don't know if it's provincial.

I mean, it's certainly the city. Because they have it in Toronto because- They have middle school. Yeah, they have Degrassi Junior High, Degrassi High. Right, and that's the thing that Drake was on, right? Yeah. And he was in a wheelchair. Yeah.

I was actually just driving over here, listening to Justin Bieber and I love Justin Bieber and I was thinking, I was like, he's way better than Drake. Drake is rotten. Yeah. I mean, were you just doing Canadian comparisons? Yeah. Oh yeah, yeah. I was thinking about Canadian musicians.

Well, how do you know that Drake's character got shot and that's why he's in a wheelchair Oh, he got shot and that's cuz he's okay. Okay. Oh, yeah. Yes. He got shot. That's why he's in I never watched that version of Degrassi. I mean I watched them all because there's an American version as well No, no, no, no, all Canadian. But when I was a kid there was like, oh there was an 80s version Oh like 902 and oh, there's different. Yeah, they did that because, what's his name? Spelling? Aaron Spelling. Aaron Spelling approached Kid Hood,

who created Degrassi and said, I wanna do an American version. And she said, absolutely not. Like, I don't want anything to do with that. And so that's, he created 90210 as a, like, sexier. Wow. Oh, I love facts like that. I don't remember, like, details in films or TV, but I love facts about how they came to be, or like facts like that. I don't remember details in films or TV,

but I love facts about how they came to be or production stuff. I love that. Yeah. Well, in Lord of the Rings, Gollum approached Peter Jackson and he said, Hey, we should... Gollum tried to form a union.

Gollum originally wanted to be in The Frighteners and Peter Jackson was like, I got something else in mind for you. For me you go on golem originally wanted to be in the frighteners and Peter Jackson was like Gollum wanted to slide his own hair down the The the you were talking about Justin Bieber and Drake yes the Canadian artists wow There's only one well, there's a new song by the weekend Oh also he's going the Weeknd has new music out and they're really pushing it on the radio and they're getting him to be like,

hey, this is The Weeknd, listen to my new track on the radio. And you know what, if he says it, I'm on board. I just feel like he is, I don't know anyone who's like a big Weeknd fan. You're looking at one right now, my friend. I always thought that about you. I love all his albums, I think he's got the best voice of the generation.

He also did that funny plastic surgery gag over a while. What was that? So he, like for a while he would appear in public with black and blue, like eyes swollen and shut and like it was all makeup. But it was- What? He looked like that. Then he was walking around with wrapped head

as like invisible man style. And then he was walking around with wrapped head as like invisible man style and then and then he got makeup done that looked like he got plastic surgery to fix all that so he had like his eyes were all tight and the huge that's so funny cuz then you could just get plastic surgery yeah that's all we want he gets to go back to the weekend and he was it all does a bit yeah I love that but it's not anything he talked about. We didn't talk even better. Well, he's like one of the top five most streamed artists ever on Spotify.

Really? Yeah. Wow. And he like, I feel like he's sort of like the movie Avatar, where he's like, broke all these records, but who's his, like, who loves him? Once again. Can't stress it enough. I would actually really like to see you at a weekend concert. If I had the wherewithal to do that.

This weekend I'm doing, and I've never done this before. I bought a ticket. And when you say this weekend, you spell it. You spell it. This weekend? He's my favorite artist. I'm going to a concert where I just bought one ticket for myself to like go.

Oh, good for you. Exciting. So I'm 41, last two or ever. Fun, oh my God, that's brilliant. Where are they playing? They're playing at Rogers. And it's like, if you go on Craigslist, people just need to get rid of that one

because some people, they're like. Right. My wife hates them. Yeah. Yeah. Your grand wife, no Sally? No, because it's so cheap. Like buying tickets a pair are, it'd be like 500 bucks.

Oh, because it's seachored, right. And all the nosebleeds are all sold out. How much was the singular ticket? 50 bucks. What? Yeah. When is this? This is on Saturday.

Saturday? You can just get ones for 50 craigslist Oh my god, I think the numbers go down if you just get them the day of that's for some 41 make it over to Ireland They did yeah, I mean as I'm saying this I'm like, I think I know two of their songs now But I feel like it would be a fun concert. I think it'd be fun. I think they'd see a lot of old guys with their like Punk rock metal shirts that they haven't worn in a while. Oh, it'd be very good for people watching actually.

Yeah, lots of dads with kids I think. Come see my favorite band for a while. I went to a two door cinema club. Do you know them? I know the name. Yeah, you probably know some of their tunes. they're Irish and I exclusively listen to Irish. And Justin Bieber. But I went to their concert in New York and by myself as well. I was trying to get two tickets and then it ended up just being one. And then my friend who I was trying to get to go, he was just like, he's from the North

of Ireland, where they're from? And he was like, I'd go out to the back garden if they were playing, but I'm not really fucked. And he was like, but for you I'll do it. That's Aaron McCann, very funny comedian as well. Terrible impression. But there's no way for us to know. You don't know. So it was an amazing impression. Anyway, it ended up I could only get one ticket and he was like, okay, good, because I didn't actually want to go. And it was on like, what's it called? Pier, I don't know, some venue, Coup venue in New York. And the backdrop of the stage was the Brooklyn Bridge.

So, and they're like watching these. And I was on my own and I hadn't really done that. And also like not drinking as well, which was a big thing to not go to a gig, not drinking. And it was amazing. Cause I got to stand where I wanted. I got to do what I wanted. Leave whenever you want.

Leave whenever you want, you know, dance and like be like, I don't care what anyone thinks. You can want whenever you want You know dance and like be like I don't care what anyone think yeah if you want to But if you want to take it I might do that. Yeah, because it's Somehow people get stuck with that one taking that just true. Yeah Yeah, you have to if someone breaks up with you or Somebody dies. Yeah, you're still gonna go to that some 41 concert. That's what your friend would have wanted. Would have wanted, yeah. Oh, I might actually do that. Yeah.

50 bucks is nuts. When did you get your ticket? Two days ago. Oh, shit, oh, hey. How much were they originally selling for? Oh, I have no idea. Cause like I say on the map, every cheap seat was sold. The only thing that you could get was standing on the floor.

And those were about 250 bucks each. At that point, you're in too deep. That's one of the songs, do you know that song? Yeah, I'll connect it, nice. I know, recently I was like, yeah, the lead singer, his face is like real weird and swollen and then- You're thinking of The Weeknd? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She like that.

I do have a little callback, I love it so much. When I was listening to the podcast as well, I was like, God, they're so quick of remembering things I haven't. My brain is not so quick. So yeah, no, I'm impressed. It's because we're on drugs. Don't worry about it. Nice. What kind of drugs?

Speed. The best kind. Yeah. How do you think we're so quick? Because speed is the whole quickness. I one time actually had to return speed to... To the video store? So bad!

Return some speed. Was sent by my friends to get what we would call yokes. And this is all hyperbole. Hyperbole and yeah I was supposed to get yolks which are pills and then they all they had with speed so I brought back to my friends we tried it we're like this is crap and they were like go return that speed so let's go back and return it. Oh I like that. And they gave me my money back just a little knocked the money off. Really? Yeah, he was a nice guy. Yeah, I mean.

What is yolks? Is it different in speed? Yolks are like pills of ecstasy. Pills of ecstasy. Yeah, yeah. So we had heard that this house had like double-strength ones and we were like, let's go. And yeah, they just had species. Double yolks, like a substance.

Maybe I'll start taking drugs. Drugs sound like a lot of fun. I haven't been taking drugs for the last few years. I did a year with no alcohol, but I just did yolks every day. First thing in the morning. Every day. I remember one of my friends, she like discovered them when we were in college,

and then she was like, why do we drink? We should just do yolks. I went, ah, well, no, because the serotonin. Because we need to drink. We need to drink. We were like, you can't be taking yolks all the time, it'll like drain you of your serotonin. And she's like, no. So she did a whole week,

she was just do every single day. And then by the end of it, she was like, a shell of a person, she was like, I could never do it again. I would not think that far ahead of like, drain you of your serotonin. I would just be like, I can't, because I saw what happened on Saved by the Bell. Yeahotonin. I would just be like, I can't because I saw

what happened on Saved by the Bell. Yeah, and also I'm gonna be making out with, God knows who have any people, you know, soother in my mouth, ugh, gross. Soother in your mouth. But yeah, I have a good friend of mine in high school, he took acid almost every day. Wow, in high school?

How's he doing? He's fine. He's doing all right. His name? Yeah, how's he doing? He's fine. He's doing all right. His name is Justin Trudeau and he's doing just fine, thank you. Did you guys see the, I don't know, I don't know, was it a tweet or what fecking platform it was on, but Justin Trudeau being like, not in a snowball's hell is Canada gonna be part of America,

or whatever he said? Elon Musk replying and saying, girl, you're not even the governor anymore. I honestly thought it was satirical. I thought it was like an onion thing, but it was not. It was the real life. It's a cool place we live. It's a cool time to be alive. It's a cool time to be alive.

If listeners don't know, Trump's floating the idea of just absorbing Canada and Greenland and Panama? Yeah. Wow. I didn't know what Greenland and Panama is. Wow. Yeah. He wants Greenland. He wants it bad. That's... Oh, man. I hadn't heard about this thing because I just think whatever Trump says is whatever, which is probably not the way to think because he does do things. Anyway, so I called my cousin who's in California and we answered the phone and then her son he's like I think 18 now and then he's like a very high-functioning autistic boy and he didn't even say hello he was just like

he just goes hey did you know you're not gonna need a passport soon He's taking his goodness I was like we're together I was like wait what? He was like Bernie Sanders is in on it too I was like what wait, what? And he was like, Bernie Sanders is in on it too. I was like, what is going on here? Yeah, we need to stay off the internet. Yeah. Yeah.

But that's where all the good stuff is happening. I know. Or you walk around in nature like this stinks this morning. I woke up this morning and I instantly was consuming media that was like about the LA fires and also about Palestine and I was just like And then I was feeling really anxious and I didn't know why I was feeling so anxious And then I went for a walk and then I was like voice noting someone I was like Oh, yeah, because as soon as I opened my eyes I consumed like

Horrific news. Yeah, you got to like do Sudoku or connections Yeah, yeah, ease yourself. Well, you can do connections because the New York Times is complicit in oh, yes The Washington Post as well. I can't do their crossword anymore. Jeff Bezos owns the Washington Post I didn't know that until the other day. He owns this podcast. Yeah So if you could lay off a little bit, that'd be great. Shut up Oh, but anyway, if you're a prime member you get bonus episodes Oh, but anyway, if you're a Prime member, you get bonus episodes. And free shipping, so you get all that and more, really. And of course, you can watch The Boys.

The Boys! Is that the show? Yeah. You can watch The Jack Reacher Hour. Is that Jack Reacher Hour? Welcome back. My guest today. Isn't it wild how fast we can get things from like Amazon or whatever? Like obviously it's very handy, but I'm also like, this is too fast. Like, how can it be outside tomorrow?

I did- Slave-like situations. Yeah. I mean, I know how, but I'm also like, this is not good, but I'm going to still do it. Peeing in bottles and stuff. No, I did order something from Amazon a few weeks ago and it arrived, it said the arrival window was between 8 p.m. and 4 a.m.

No. Wow. And it showed up in the middle of the night. Shut up. I didn't like that. Did they ring them up or they just took a photo and sent it? They just left it? Yeah, they left it.

Nice. That's insane. Yeah. Oh God. You know, look, we love Jeff Bezos We're glad he doesn't get plugs like Elon Musk. He's the man. He owns himself He owns, you know, he's not doing a come over like Trump. He's bald and I think that counts for a lot Have you seen those cyber trucks? Oh, yeah. Oh, please. Dave has one in his garage That's what he uses for home rent us Just to like measure one

Triangle of it all They're all over the place I do get it if you own like five cars that this is your funny Your gag car I drive it on Fridays. Yeah. Casual car day. Don't wear jeans. Casual car day! Oh, Jack is gonna bring a cyber truck. Also, he's wearing a funny shirt.

Oh, I'm like, oh, touch some fecking grass, lads. Jesus Christ, these cyber trucks. Yeah, it's, I only saw my first one a couple of weeks ago. Well, they only all ride, they all ride. They all ride at the same time. Yeah, and then they're everywhere. I keep seeing them, I saw one yesterday, and then these two men talking about one,

and I was like, oh, that is disgusting. I hope it's not a regular steering wheel. I hope that it's like a plane steering wheel. Yeah, oh, yeah. That's kind of like almost a circle, but you gotta grab it on each side. Little gears. The ones you have for the, yeah.

Yeah. It better be cool inside, but it's probably not. I don't know, like Teslas were cool inside when they first arrived. Well, I mean, of course it's cool inside because you're sitting next to a cyber-truck owner. This is true, the vibes are immaculate no matter what. So, fucking Teslas, I swear to God, I only ever get in them when they're Ubers or Lyft

or whatever. Every time I'm like, how do I open this? How do I get out of this? I'm like, which button is it? Yeah. And it's, you settle into a panic because they're like, come on, man, get it together. Your star rating is going down the longer you take. But yeah, we love Cybertruck.

I hope one day that I'll Uber and Cybertruck shows up. I was just thinking that I was like, how long is it gonna take for? That should be one of the categories like Uber group on your own, Cybertruck. Cybertruck. Yeah, I'll go for a ride in Cybertruck. I don't know.

I don't get how you can afford a Tesla as an Uber driver. You have to pay off the Tesla by being an Uber driver. But it's weird. At this point, it's almost weird to go into somebody's car that's not a Tesla. You're like, what the hell is this? Yuck. I'm sending this back. Yuck, exactly. You can open the door so easily. It's for idiots, this car. I was in one, I don't know, was it a Tesla? I actually took a video of it, but the stores went up like back to the future That is crazy. Yeah, there's one kind of Tesla that does that maybe yeah

But then yeah being like oh, and I'm just gonna buy this and then drive people around and it is mad I suppose you're sharing the experience of these weird Yeah, that's what it's all about. It is, and that's what they're thinking. When you go to a small town, I've noticed, that still has Uber. People don't dress it up at all. There's just stuff in the back. You go sit on that side, there's stuff on that side.

That was the original idea of Uber. It was like, hey, if you're headed home from work, why don't you just offer someone a ride and make 10 bucks. Have you ever done the Uber share with strangers? No. It's so weird. I mean, the saving is usually not so much that I opt for it, because it takes a long time to get anywhere.

Because you're just driving around random places then picking up people. Picking up people, dropping off people. My friend told me a story the other day that did Uber share by mistake, and then they ended up in it. And then they couldn't find it. It was in Vancouver.

They were waiting for this guy called Sean. So my friend, she was like, I'll just, she's Irish as well. She was like, I'll just hop out and I'll shout for him. So she was just going around the street, just screaming, Sean. And he was like, hi, what the hell? Your Uber, is this girl screaming at you? We're like, get in the car. He then realized he had booked Uber shares as well. So it was a surprise for everyone.

Dopey. Yeah. Dave, what's going on with you, my friend? Oh, man. Tell me all about it. Well, it's our first episode that we've recorded since 2014. Yeah, 2014.

Here we are. 2014. Oops. 2024. And well, what is going on between- I just checked my notes here. Okay, these are the wrong notes. These are all wrong.

Is this your grocery list? Yeah, we had a nice Christmas. Oh, that's good. You had yourself a merry little Christmas? I did. Did you get what you wanted? I never do. No? Oh, because's good. Nice. You had yourself a merry little Christmas? I did. Did you get what you wanted? I never do. No?

Oh, cause it's peace on earth. Nice. But here's some highlights of the Christmas. Coming at you, highlights of Christmas. I did, it was Poppy's birthday. My daughter turned eight on Christmas Eve. Oh, wow. Happy birthday, Poppy. Happy birthday.

And there's this episode of Bluey. Bluey is this cartoon dog. Oh, yeah. Australian. Australian, yeah, like you. And... Ha ha! Ha ha! Check your privilege.

Ha ha! And there's a famous, apparently, I didn't see the most recent season of Bluey. Oh you gotta I know He goes crazy Bluey does he's a girl Blues pronounce her she her yeah And it is a there's so on this episode, one of the dogs, I think Bingo, maybe Blue, I didn't see the episode.

Love that guy. Both girls. Yeah, it has a birthday and they have a duck. They have a duck cake. Oh. They choose this cake as duck cake out of a, a mold? Catalog. Oh, okay. But it's shaped like a duck cake out of a catalog. Okay.

But it's shaped like a duck, not just a duck on it. No, it's shaped like a duck. So it's got a body and a head on top, like a yellow rubber duck. Okay. Okay. And it, for some reason, has popcorn hair. Wow. Popcorn hair. Popcorn hair and crisps as the beak.

Okay. Oh, wow. That's fun. And... Imagine eating that. Is it icing then? It's iced. crisps as the peak. Okay. Oh, wow. And, uh... Imagine eating that. Is it icing then? It's iced, yeah. With the crisps and popcorn. Okay.

Yeah, yeah. They'd be doing down in Australia, which is... Sweet and salty. It's all good. And they, um, had a, um, anyway, I think... I think what happens in the episode is they can't get the cake and so the dad has to make it and he does a bad job. Classic dad. And then Abby was like, okay, we got to make this cake.

How are we going to do it? And I'm like, it's going to be easy. Well, if ever, if anything, I watch those baking shows and it's a breeze. And so what it did, what we did was, I watched some videos on how to make it. And you make a cake shaped cake for the body. You carve it into like a teardrop shape. And then that makes the duck shape. And you add a little bit of what you cut off to the tail.

It makes the tail go up a bit. And then you use another piece of cake and you make that into a ball. You like take two halves of cake and- So this is not like a, this is down on the train, I look freestanding like, like it's flat to the ground.

It's not- No, it's freestanding. You make the head, you put the head on top of the body. But the teardrop is flat. The teardrop is flat. And then you add a little bit to the tail to make it go up.

Then you carve a cake head. Wow. And you put that on top. And then you attach it with skewers. Okay. And then you ice the whole thing. And then the head proves to be too heavy. And falls off and the skewers pull apart the rest of the cake.

And so what you do then is- Panic. As you say, okay, well, let's make the head out of Rice Krispies squares, because that's- Oh, because it's the- Lighter, and it's lighter, and so you do that, and it turns out fine. Did you cover it in icing then?

Yes. The yellow icing. Yellow icing, yes. What was his eyes? His eyes? Well, actually, the cake is also a girl Yellow icing, yes. What was his eyes? His eyes? Well, actually, the cake is also a girl. Oh, sorry.

What are her eyes? Nice. In the original, there are these licorice, these black licorice circles with like an M&M inside. But we didn't want that, so we just did M&Ms. Nice. That's better than, yeah. Wow, that's amazing.

And did it go over? Oh, fine. Yeah. Did she love it? Well, yeah, she liked it. I think she liked the idea. I don't think she really even wanted the cake. It's Christmas Eve, there's so much food around.

Yeah, there's a lot going on. It's lost in the shuffle. But she ate some, some other cousins ate some and then. Did it taste good? Yeah, it was all sure. Do you have a picture? Oh, sure I have a picture. Oh yeah, some other cousins ate some and then. Did it taste good? Yeah, it was all. Do you have a picture? Oh, sure I have a picture. Oh yeah, I'd love to see a photo.

Let me see, when was this? Is it cake? Yes. Yes it is. You bet it is. I remember when I was like three, do you know the Teletubbies? Yeah.

Yeah, so I was obsessed with Poe, the red one, and they got me a Poe cake and there's like a, there's like a succession of these photos of like, I'm delighted, I'm like, woo-hoo, Poe. Let's see. Oh, wow. Oh, that's great. Very cool.

That's so cool. I was picturing it with a really long neck. Yeah, me too. I was like, how did he get the head up there? That makes so much more sense. Yeah. Yeah, rubber duck. Yeah.

No long neck on that. I know, but I forgot that it was a rubber duck and went back to thinking it was just regular duck. So what happened? Oh, yeah, so I got the Poe, yeah, and then I'm like delighted. I'm like, woohoo, Poe. And then my mom got the knife out to cut up Poe and I lost it. I was like, you can't kill Poe.

There is a photo of my mom holding a big knife right above Poe because I think she was like, ah, no. We're going to kill you. We're going to kill you. And my face, you can just see it think she was like, ah, I don't know. We're gonna kill you. And my face, you can just see it. It's like, ah, and then I'm like, ah, and I wouldn't let them cut the cake. And there was like loads of kids at this party being like,

we can't have birthday cake? And I'm like, absolutely not. So then they just cut him up while I was asleep. Now it's time for us to party. We used to eat him. Let's just put a little bit of sleeping medicine in her. Knock her out. Where's Poe?

He's gone. He's asleep. And the other, I mean, so much talk about Christmas rise, but one of the tasty, another tasty treat I had was, I saw an Instagram video for, have you tried the viral Dr. Pepper and eggnog? No. Oh. And I was like, this looks like it could be bad.

Yeah. And it turns out it's so good. Yeah. Yeah. What is it? What's the combo taste like? It tastes like a creamy, eggy Dr. Pepper. Delicious. It tastes very like vanilla-y.

Smooth. Smooth. Goes down smooth, vanilla-y. Smooth. Smooth. Goes down smooth. Comes up smooth. Nice. Yeah, it mixes together real good. It didn't separate? No. Huh.

Okay. It was, it's, and other people, like I posted a video of the like original that I saw and I was like, I'm going to make this, and I took a picture after I made it. It was good. Nice. And then people wrote back and were like, yeah, they should, I think someone even said they sell it in a can somewhere. Well, yeah, Dr. Pepper, in the last two years,

went head of Pepsi in terms of who's second to Coke, because they did all these special flavors and you could like submit ideas for different flavors. Oh, that's fun. Yeah. I like that. Yeah, so they became the soda of this new generation. Canned though, that sounds weird to me. That does sound weird.

Anything that has any dairy. Egg and the, yeah, we don't have any. I don't believe this person. Yeah, what is your source on this reliable? Random follower. But yeah, do you like Dr. Pepper? Yes, I love it. Used to be what I would get whenever I was sick.

Would she flatten it or just like take the bubbles out? No, it was just, I mean, it was out of a two liter jug. So eventually the- Yeah, what would be a fast way to flatten something? So we, in Ireland, we do flat seven up when you're sick. Like genuinely, it's just like, as soon as you're sick, you're like, we need to get some seven up. And the way, there's so many-

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay, yeah. I'm gonna give, here's how I think I would do it. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Tell me how you think it would be. Boil it and then let it cool. That's a smart way. Yeah.

Interesting. Graham. How would I do it? Yeah. I do it, you know, Mentos in Pepsi style. Just put something in and just react and then it blows all the bubbles out. Whatever you're left with. And then you look like a little.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever's left. That's very minty. Yeah. The way, yeah, whatever's left. That's why you have to. It's very minty. Yeah. The way, yeah, there's so many different ways to flatten it and like, yeah, people boil it. The way we did it at our house

was you put it between two glasses and then you just pour it. Oh, pour it back and forth. And then it gets rid of the bubbles. Other people put like metal in and then the bubbles attract, the metal attracts the bubbles. I don't know the science behind that, don't ask me.

And then- What's the science behind that? Oh no way, fair enough. Oh no, other people just shake up the bottle, leave the bottle open. Yeah, that's a classic. But if you're like, you know, if you're- If you're kids sick and you need it right away.

Yeah, you should always keep some in the fridge. Just always keep a jar of- Just a jar of, yeah. Flat 7-Up. Ireland, the flat 7-Up and toast is like the cure to everything and tea Yeah, yeah, are you daily tea drinker? Do you drink tea at all? I do drink tea, but honestly I'm not as big of a

Tea drinker as I go to people like there's a two different like main Tea brands in Ireland as well always people are like is lions or Barry's better I honestly don't give a shite, but I just kind of lean into it just to rile people up. I'm like, I prefer Lyons, and they're like, no! Just, yeah, but I like flavored teas better than the normal breakfast. Normal teas, okay, yeah, yeah. Fair enough, fair enough.

So the cake was a smash success. The other thing was good. Bobby loves it forever. Oh boy, you just, you know what? Food, food stuff. Food is the, you know, we get together at these special times. Yeah. We break bread. That's what it's about.

We drink the weird smoothies. We drink. I did have a weird, yeah, Dr. Pepper eggnog smoothie. I got it from Jalamba Juice. Yeah, like at health express. Yeah. I did the eggnog acai bowl. Yeah, you're like, huh, should I get this pomegranate?

That's it. Wait a minute, what's this at the bottom of the menu? Let me see. Jalamba juice. I'll fix for us. Yeah. I did the eggnog acai bowl. Yeah, you're like, huh, should I get this pomegranate? Wait a minute, what's this at the bottom of the menu? Let me try that. Anyway, Merry Christmas to all. To all a good night. To all a good night, absolutely.

What's new with you? I, for New Year's Eve, just for a fun thing to do, my wife and I went down to Seattle for the night. Oh, fine. Yeah, and it's like, have you been? Only briefly for a baseball game and I was very drunk, so I don't remember most of it. Fair enough.

But Dave, you did it that same week, you just went and saw a hockey game. Yeah, I went to a hockey game a couple days after. And your team won. Who's your team? Vancouver Canucks. Nice. They played the Seattle Kraken.

Kraken? Yep. And yeah, so I went there on New Year's Eve, Seattle, New Year's Day, like absolutely a ghost town. Really? Nothing was open. Nothing. Love that.

Where were you? Right downtown. Oh yeah, downtown, oh yeah. They just entered. Downtown Vancouver is pretty quiet on weekends. It is quiet, yeah. But this was eerie. You couldn't get anyone to throw a fish at you? They had some fish outside that you could throw at your friends. Throw a fish at you? That's Seattle's big thing. You go to Pike Place Market and they're throwing fish around. They throw fish between different

counters and- I'm going in two weeks yeah yeah yeah where do I go the markers yeah pipe place it's big that is that the famous one yeah okay yeah yeah and they're gonna if they don't throw a fish I'm gonna be mad oh what are you gonna see out of we're just hanging out I go down to meet so the girl Casey Boyle whose apartment I was in for in New York for a month I've never actually met her in person. I did her podcast and we've been online friends. So she has a show, so I'm going down to meet her in person. Nice.

Yeah, I'm watching her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's fantastic. I'm excited. Give me some Seattle tips. Well, don't go on New Year's Day. It's very quiet. A lot of things are closed.

I realized I hadn't been in like seven years. Really? And then when I went, we went to the, just a hockey game and we got there at five o'clock or six o'clock and we left after the game. So I didn't see it in daylight. So apparently a lot's changed, but not that I saw. Well, this, the big change that I like,

so I use an app whenever I'm looking for a place to eat or drink that's gluten-free. Cause I don't. Oh, you're all too gluten-free. I know, believe me. You're so boring. Yeah. I make up for it in personality.

Did you? No. Damn it. I was hoping she wouldn't say anything. But Seattle now has a completely dedicated gluten-free bar. Like everything. The menu is gluten-free. All the beers are gluten-free bar. Like everything, the menu is gluten-free, all the beers are gluten-free.

The menu, like the paper that it's printed on, that's gluten-free, you can snack on it if you want it. Wow. But yeah, everything, all the food stuff was gluten-free. That's amazing. Yeah, it was huge. Like I've never thought in a million years that would be a thing.

Yeah. Yeah. That's class. Yeah, so it's like, I bought a hat, I was so excited. I bought one of the hats from there. Is it gluten-free? Yep. Nice, good. There's no br Yeah, so it's like, I bought a hat. I was so excited. I bought one of the hats from there. Is it gluten-free? Yep. Nice, good.

There's no brim, I hate the brim. The brim's gone. It's delicious. Yeah. The, yeah. So we went over the border. I went with my brother and like, I go to, I cross the border a lot

because we have a mailbox in America. And, but I always go by myself and it's like that. They don't, they ask, what are you going for? Picking up packages. All right, see ya. They had so many questions for me and my brother. And they said, what do you do? How can we have the day off?

I was like, it's January 2nd. It's like a lot of people have the day off. They asked what I did for a living. I was like, I'm an audio editor. That usually is the like smoothest. And they were like, what, like the film industry? And I said, no, mostly podcasts. And I haven't been asked this in so long,

but the border guard asked me, do you listen to Joe Rogan? Of course. No, never heard of him actually. The border guard asked me, do you listen to Joe Rogan? Of course, of course. No, never heard of him actually. If you're in a discussion with anybody about any comedy stuff, podcast, club, or otherwise, the person you're talking to is always gonna say the person you hate the most.

I don't hate Joe Rogan the most. Yes you do, you go on about him all the time. I try not to bring him up at all. You say Austin sucks, you're baiting him into a fight. But I did say, no, he's not really my thing, which I think is the, well, it's both the right answer and also like, I love them. They're gonna search your car.

Yeah, that's right. That's true, that's true. I'm like, search them. Yeah, no, the border was, and then that's entirely because I'm a white guy, that the border was breezy and I could joke with the border guard and all that kind of stuff. What kind of white guy jokes you make that the border was breezy. I could joke with the border guard and all that kind of stuff. What kind of white guy jokes do you make with the border guard?

That's nacho chips. That kind of thing. I thought the same thing one time when we brought in. It was a group of us Irish people. And then there was five of us. And we were joking and laughing with the border guard or whatever. And I was looking around.

And I was like, other people looked stressed. And I was like, looking around, I was like, other people looked stressed and I was like, God, yeah, we are very privileged to be able to not be spooked about this. Yeah. You know? And what did I say? It was the guard said like, are you working?

We were like, we're going for New Year's Eve. He said, are you doing any work while you're there? And I said, I hope not. And he was like, yeah. Yeah. He had like a fun little second there to go. That's very good. I'm gonna use that.

Yeah, yeah. I'm like, hey, Graham Clark already used this one. But you now, you went there and you thought about things to talk about on your podcast that earns you money. So were you doing work there? Oh. Oh. Well, truth be told, I worked for a day in the Amazon warehouse while I was there. That's what I did in New Year's Day.

Just filling bottles with pee? Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's all there was there. That's what he's doing. Make sure you fill there with pee before you go. You didn't hit your quota today. More pee bottles. But yeah, no, had a blast and everybody have a happy new year. Were you there one night or two?

One night. Okay. What did you do on the night of? Went dancing. Hell yeah. Went to a club. What kind of dancing? Just crazy dancing, jazz, Yeah. Modern. Yeah.

Did they shoot fireworks off the space needle? Oh, no, no. Because I was indoors. He was dancing. Yeah, the dancing machine. Yeah. What's your favorite move? That's a move.

Oh, just whatever draws the least attention to me. Are you a two-stepper? No. He's more of a hot stepper. I'm a hot stepper, yeah. Hot stepper, no. He's more of a hot-stepper. I'm a hot-stepper, yeah. Hot-stepper, nice. Um, no, I just feel like, uh, and this could be a broad generalization, but women just seem better at dancing than guys.

It seems like they, they all got together and decided on dance moves that are like, damn it, my life. Do you ever dance alone? Like at home? Do you dance like no one's watching? Uh, very much not. I dance like everyone's watching. Do you ever dance at home. Do you dance like no one's watching? Very much not. I dance like everyone's watching.

Do you ever dance at home? Do you ever dance about architecture? Yeah, I do dance at home. When I was a teenager, that was like every time everybody was out of the house. Dance, that was dance time. It feels so good to dance. It does.

Especially when you're at home and you just do whatever you want. Yeah. What's your go-to? It's your dance move. Pfft. Uh. You do that one where you hold your leg and then jump over with the other leg. Ah. I actually used to love that one where you hold your ankle and then you put your knee

into your head and an elbow. And I was just thinking earlier, I used to do this thing a lot, crawl under people's legs. It is so funny because. I hate to to tell you that's not a dance move Was this what you're doing at Laura the rings running around the theater It's honestly I started a few years ago I was like when I got to like a certain level of drunk who would start doing it and then I and then I was Just thinking about it today. I was like I should bring it back even though I don't drink anymore Um because you can't go under someone's legs, right?

And then they just get such a surprise and they're either I always it's just such a funny reaction Are they dancing? Ah, sometimes just stand in there and are you doing it face down face up? Face down face down. So I just crawl so they just like suddenly feel something under the legs What sometimes people like separate your their legs. Like, what? Sometimes people like separate their legs. Like instinctively. Yeah, your dog show. Someone get up there and I'll crawl under your legs. But sometimes if you do it to men

and then their girlfriend is there, they get weird. And I'm like, oh, they're weird. Eggs, freaks? What? I've so many times these girls are just being like, what are you doing to my boyfriend? I'm like, I'm not flirting with him. I'm making my day is what I'm doing.

I'm not flirting. I'm going through his legs, you weirdo. But it's very funny, I've made like random friends like on the dance floor but just crawling through people's legs. What are you doing down here? Is this your thing? Are there people doing, hey!

We got a real malfunction here. Too many people, too many legs. We're tunneling out of the club. We're getting out. Sometimes I don't even talk to them after. I just like do it and then I just like go somewhere else. And that's my favorite. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because then they're just like, they're all. She's sober. Yeah. She has to get her kids somewhere. This is what people do when they're sober. I think she did a couple of yokes. Nice. Ah.

Well, should we move on to some overheard yeah, okay then Hello, I know yeah, it's Clint McElroy. Hi Hannah, right? Oh my god. Hello. I don't know if you know who I am I love the adventure zone. It is probably my favorite D&D podcast. You've been a faithful member of Maximum Fund since March of 2019 and this is them rewarding you as our Maximum Fund member of the month. It's awesome. I love it. So what made you decide to become a member of Max Fund? You know, it was so long ago. I'm not sure what the exact moment where I love it. So what made you decide to become a member of Max Fun? You know, it was so long ago,

I'm not sure what the exact moment where I decided was. I think I've kept it up intentionally because a lot of those different podcasts have been there for me when I felt really alone and sad and just needed something to laugh at. Aw, well that's, Hannah, thank you so much. Thanks for being a member, thanks for being a Taz fan, thanks for all the nice things you had to say about me specifically and I guess my kids.

I guess even more that way. If you're a MaxFun member, you can become the next MaxFun member of the month. Support us at MaximumFun.org slash join. Jackie Cation, hi and welcome to the MaximumFun.org podcast, the Jackie and Laurie show where we talk about stand-up comedy and how much we love it and how much it enrages us. We have a lot of experience and a lot of stories and a lot of time on our hands. So check us out. It's one hour a week and we drop it every Wednesday on MaximumFun.org.

Overheard. Overheard. Overheard is a segment where we talk about the things, the very valuable things that we hear in our life, and we want you to hear them too. And we always like to start with the guest. Amy, do you have an overheard? I do.

So this one isn't just like I randomly overheard it. I actually picked up the phone and listened in on a conversation. So will I do that So this one isn't just like I randomly overheard it. I actually picked up the phone and listened in on a conversation. So will I do that? Yeah. Oh, that's the most overheard thing in the world. Okay, cool. So I was 11 at the time and my sister's boyfriend's uncle had these puppies. He didn't want them. And I really want, he tried to, he drowned some of the puppies. Jesus. Yeah, that's what they do and farmers and they just just like I don't want these dogs

up so then there was two puppies left behind and I really wanted to save these puppies yeah my question is how did he decide oh you know what I'm not a monster I'll let you know how because he went to take the puppy bodies out of the bag I actually I'm sorry. I And these two puppies had swam to the top he was a Jesus they must be fighting dogs So I'll take them out So then they just lived in this back garden and he really treated them terribly and I was like 11 I was like I want I need to say one of these puppies

So I was like determined like it was crying every night. I was like, I want, I need to save one of these puppies. So I was like determined, I was crying every night. I wrote up a contract with my parents to say that I would like pay the bills. I had no money. Just a liar. Well, your dad didn't know. She's eating somehow. I'm not feeding her. Exactly. It was like, she must have her own money somewhere. So I had like communion and confirmation money, which is like, yeah. So I was very good with my money. So I had that saved. So I was like, I'll use that with the dog.

And I wrote this contract up. So then my uncle's girlfriend at the time, now it's his wife, she had dogs. And I was like, will you try and convince mom and dad to let me have this dog? And she was like, yeah, absolutely. I absolutely think you should have this dog. And she was like the cool aunt, whatever. So then my mom was on the phone, like the handheld upstairs, and then I was down in her bedroom

and had the one with the cord. Yeah. And I used to do this all the time and I'd be like listening in on conversations and just because I was bored there was nothing else to do. So I listened to, and I went, I was there with my brother and my sister, I think, I listened to the conversation with her and my mom because I knew it was about the dog and she was telling my mom not to let me have them.

Oh wow. Yeah. So I was there like, ah, not making any sound, but like listening. I was like, oh my God, I'm gonna kill her. But then they actually did give me the dog. Wow. Oh good. They did give me the dog. Yeah.

So I got the dog and had him for like three weeks. What kind of Disney evil, you know, bad guy, yeah, wow. I was raging. I was like, I'll never trust you ever again. Yeah. And I haven't. Good. I mean, we get on and I'm like she did do that you do need to lie to 11 year old that's but she could have you know what look back at it and I was like she could have like I explained it to me no you were unreasonable I was I mean I was a kid that was writing up contracts. Yeah, you're gonna wanna shut me up.

My mom and dad will notarize this for me. Sure. We'll take it down to the local magistrate. We found the contract recently and they had never signed it. And I was just, cause they were like, you stop picking up his poo. That was part of it. Picking up his poo in the garden.

And they were like, you stop picking up his poo. And then I was like, but you never signed the contract. That's right. Yeah, that's on you. I can see in court. Dave, do you have an over? It's not like that. No, I know that's the arc.

Yeah, the whole story, backstory and everything. I mean, these are guests have their whole lives to draw from. I got to come up with one of these every week. This is true. You guys have to do millions of podcasts. Yeah. It's a lot of overheard. Mine is, boy, it's gonna be, this is weak.

Okay. It's an overseen, but it was some nice little graffiti I saw. Okay. Someone graffitied, there was like a for lease sign on a restaurant and then someone added like, added a little bit to the last names of the two real estate agents on the sign. And like, say if it was Graham Clark or like someone could have done like Graham crackers. Yes. Yeah.

Nice. They could have written crackers after Graham. So with this one real estate agent's name, Mike Yam. And the person wrote fries. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

That's class. I like that. And then the other real estate agent was Jennifer Lin. Oh, I took a photo of this. And Lin. Olium. Yeah. I was like, where's this going that's so good oh man I like a clever graffiti I will always there's a silly graffiti I want to

see it and with oh sorry and then with realtors as well like there there's a one real near my house and his name is a surname is Guy Moore. So in our Ireland like Guy means vagina and how do you spell it? G E E. Okay. Yeah. So we would also call each other like Guy bags and stuff like so that's funny. I was like, Oh, I thought that that was a compliment when they named me Guy bag. Yeah. And then more in like in Gwelye in the Irish language means big. So I was like that guy's name is big vagina. That's so, so I like put it up on a, on like TikTok. I did a little video and then like people were commenting and they were like, Oh, we know that guy. And I was like, and then someone said that they showed it to him and he did not find it funny. I find that, yeah, any times like a real estate agent

has become, had any kind of like fame locally, they love it. Yeah, oh, absolutely. They're shameless. I still remember the woman that was like the number one real estate agent in the community and her name was Nikki McAllow Joe McAllow Joe Her and her daughter combined forces so then it was her and her daughter's name whichever was

Joe so yeah feels nice to say yeah Yeah. And by all reports, nice lady. Yeah. Nice lady. Just, you know. Why did you take a photo of Jennifer Lin? Same place, I imagine. Yeah. Oh, because you saw the linoleum.

Yeah. Oh, okay. It was on the, at that place, corner 23 was it called? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And there's also a building that just says leased and it's just a one single sheet of paper that's just got building that just says least and it's just a one single sheet of paper It's just got it printed on at least I'm like, they don't usually do that with other they usually have a big banner Yeah. Oh, yeah. This was what I said. Yeah, this was the sign. I love funny graffiti's

Oh this little just like printout that says least on it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's gas Oh my god, that's gas. Oh my god gas guys We have in Ireland we we'd like we'd say ah stop like all the time Just like if we hear something we like I don't know like we not wouldn't believe and then someone near my head like on The road to my house on a stop sign they graffiti and just said ah above it I was like that's so funny. Nice. We were driving to the hockey game through downtown Seattle. I like that you showed us how to drive

with your hands. I guess it's not downtown Seattle, it's the Seattle, wherever the center is. Yeah. Where they do Bumbershoot, right by the EMP. The Bumbershoot grounds. And we were driving and I'm looking where to go

and it's dark and I'm being very careful and Crazy by Britney Spears is on the radio. And my brother's singing along and he goes, the part where she goes, stop! And I'm like, what, what? What? What?

What? What? Also we had parking underneath the arena and I'd never had this before. We had to stop and bomb sniffing dogs came around our car. Oh shit. Wow. Wow. Huh.

Bomb sniffing. And did they get your bomb or? They got it. Yeah. Oh my God, my full diaper. Which there's no way to throw away the full diaper in there. Yeah. It's on a compost, yep.

Mine is courtesy of a little girl separating ways with another little girl. And her line to her was, okay, see you in the next life. Wow. Whoa, how small were these girls? Probably like five or six. Oh, that's incredible. I love when kids say weird shit like that. Yeah, see you in the next life. Like, do they say that every day, whenever?

Like gladiators. Say that. Oh, that's funny. But adorable. You know what? We love kids, don't we folks? That's cool. I like that. Now we also have over-heard sent to us by people all over the map.

If you want to send one in, you can send it in to sbyatmaximumfun.org. And this is, Dave in Oakland is the number one. So I forgot to send an email with them all combined so I'm just doing them email by email. This is Dave from Oakland waiting for my daughter at a nail salon and the two customers are chatting about how crazy people are on the freeways around here. One of the one of the nail techs interrupts and says people get confused

about what the far left lane is for. They think it's the fast lane, but nah, the lane is for doing crime. If you ain't doing crime with me over here, you need to get out of the way. There's all those little clap signs. There's a cold read. But the left lane is for doing crimes. You know, actually, I think the right lane is probably better for doing crimes because you can get burglar to jump in your car or Oh, sure. And also like you're not you're the cops aren't watching for speeding in those lanes. Yeah. No, I'm a right lane guy. I'm a right lane people go around. Yeah, I'll go around a truck. I'm a right lane. I'll let people go around. Yeah, I'll go around a truck.

You gotta. It's too scary to be around a truck. But it's also kinda scary to go beside a truck, I find. Yeah. If I'm in a small car. Oh yeah, well if you're going around it and then you're like, uh-oh, I'm not quite fast enough. This truck is actually hauling ass.

It's crazy, cause like Calgary now has a road that there's no speed limit on. Whoa, what? The premier is like, citizens are hard-wicking people and they shouldn't have to worry about getting speeding tickets. And so they just, instead of doing away with the,

with the speeding tickets, they also went away with the maximum kilometers. That is nuts. And if you're not in a truck, it's insane. Like it's everything's taller than you. When you say truck in this sense, you don't mean an 18 wheeler. No, in this sense, just like, yeah.

Pickup. Yeah, Ford F-150 kind of thing. F-350, you know. Yeah, Bronco something. Yeah, the Raptor, the Ford Raptor. Yeah, GMC. I didn't get over the amount of trucks that were in Alberta.

Like we don't have trucks that size in Ireland. Like I was like, what is going on here? That's the status symbol on that side of the way, yeah. I saw. Here it's cyber trucks. Yeah. That's the way it should be. This next one comes from-

My status is I'm crazy. This next one comes from- My status is I'm crazy. I have five cars and this is my casual car. Yeah, this is my casual fun one. How many casual cars do you think Jay Leno has? He rotates through them. Does he have a formal car at all? Yeah, for when he goes to drop.

He doesn't have kids. I was going to say to drop them off in a formal, but I don't know. What's the most formal car? I guess Rolls-Royce Bentley, that kind of thing. Anything that where you have a driver. Yeah, that's another thing that you would bring to like the drag race.

That'd be great if one showed up in the drag race. I don't know the names of them, but then you know those old timey ones where it's like only kind of two people can fit in it and it has like the square window and. Oh yeah, sure. Yeah. I bet he has one of those too. I bet, oh, of course he does. Yeah. can fit in it and has a bit like the square window and yeah sure yeah yeah he has one of those too bet oh of course he does yeah but like one of every car

ever drive you show up somewhere and they have valet parking you're like no this person's valet is gonna think I'm this car is not good enough to valet but the option the hotel that I went to in Seattle, I read the reviews of it and they're like, great hotel, do not let the valet park your car. Do not because it's so expensive. Because it was New Year's Eve, nobody's on the streets, you just park right on the street.

But yeah, it's weird that unanimously in the reviews. It's so interesting. I don't think I've ever done that, get someone else to power my car. I've never owned a car. I don't like... Well, that would have been very hard then for you. I drive other people's cars. It's happened a few times in my many decades of driving.

Mm-hmm. How do people who used to be valet? Oh, sure. Yeah. Yeah. You could make some pretty good tips. Yeah. I mean, I guess it depends on what hotel or restaurant you're working at.

If I'm it is my car and I having to have my car valet against my will, then you're probably not getting a great tip. I'm just thinking about parking it on Arby's, but I thought Arby's is one of the things you see quite soon as you cross the border. I didn't realize that Arby's was that popular. Yeah, but next time you go get one of their donkey shakes. Oh they have them. What's a donkey shake? They have Arby's in Canada. Oh yeah, but I mean it was just like the first restaurant I saw was Arby's. I've never been. You know what? You probably skiv it. Well I guess once. Go to Tawasa. There's one in Tawasa. Okay. Yeah. Next time you're going out to the island. I was just there.

Damn it. Shit. They won't have you back anytime soon. Well, they said, absolutely no way. Not back on this island. This one comes from Casey from Arkansas. Nine-year-old son got money for Christmas and he wanted to spend it on a Nerf gun. I mentioned his grandpa, who he hadn't seen yet, may have gotten him the same Nerf gun

for a gift and asked if we buy this right now would my son be upset about having two of the same item and his reply was well what's life without risks it's true it's true the fruit is what is it fruit of sweeter the fruit is sweeter yeah down the vine or down the branch. Uh-huh. That's so funny. Yeah. Oh man. And just the kid was just gonna like, just take it and strive, you know?

Boy, I have two. Two Nerf guns? Yeah. Come on. Yeah, it's not devastating to have two of the same. Cause you can do them at the same time. Exactly. Yeah. Nerf guns, man.

You can, you know, run out of ammo and your victim thinks they're safe and then pull it out from that holster on your back. Your gun quiver. Kids just tape it to their back, Bruce Willis style. Bruce Willis. Yeah. I never had a Nerf gun.

Me neither. What is the ammo? Little balls or- Or like little- Sticky suction cup things? Or they're just foam sort of darts. Yeah. What is the what is the ammo little balls or or like little sticky? Suction cup things or they're just foam sort of darts. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh actually, yeah I think I've shot one there. Yeah, so are though when you actually do get hit by them. No, no No, this is like this is like absolutely real guns. Yeah That it or a ball gun. Oh, they're so sore. Yeah. Oh my god

I'm everybody's to go paintball and like God, they're so sore. Yeah, oh my God. I remember when I used to go paintball and I'd be like hiding, I'm like, my heart would be racing. I was like, wow, this must be awful to be in real war. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I've done it twice. I think that's the point of paintball is to make you realize. Yeah, can we all get along?

Uh-huh. I'm like 14. The world leaders got together for a big paintball or even laser tag event, I think there'd be a whole lot less war. I think that a lot of the politicians would hide their little target on their laser tag uniform. It would be automatic people being sneaky

and going outside the rules, you know? I can't imagine a lot of them spend any time outside. So that would also be funny. Put them in the forest? Ah! Come on. I did a laser tag indoor and paintball outdoor. Right.

And at the indoor one, they give you a whole list of instructions and the paintball one, they're like, that way. Timber. Ha ha ha. Just go nuts. Yeah, yeah, don't take your helmet off Wow, that's a big one. They just said, you know, like you signed the waiver. So there you go This last one comes from Emma J from Vancouver. Well, what is life without risk?

I'm writing from BC Ferry headed to Swartz Bay from Swartz Bay to Tawasin. Oh my god you should check out Arby's. Arby's! If it's not too late if you're still there. I overheard the following. This is two men in businessy suits just past me and I overheard them following. Honestly as a red pill as I, I think if I was actually in The Matrix, I would just take the blue pill. Yeah, because the blue pill just lets you keep living in your fantasy life, right? I need to watch that movie because, again,

because I've fallen asleep in it four times. Really? Yeah. I liked it, but I don't think I'd ever watch it again. Okay, wow, because people are always like, The Matrix, so I'm like, eh. You're hanging out with the wrong crowd. Yeah, I don't think I'd ever watch it again. Okay, wow, because people are always like, the magic, so I'm like, eh. You're hanging out with the wrong crowd. Yeah, yeah. I do pretend that I've seen it

just so people don't have that reaction. You've never made it through the whole thing? Nope. Yeah, I know when people are like red pill blue pill, I'm like, I know, right? I have no idea. I've seen the whole thing that I don't remember, which is what pill does what, but I-

I know one is goo and one is life. I like the goo. I like seeing them come out of the goo. Yeah, because you're either living in a dream state or you're in the reality where you're a goo, you're in a goo pod. Oh. And I prefer I would just like, no, just stay blue.

Whatever is the one that just keeps status quo. Yeah, I'd be like a, boy, and it's sort of the two sides of my personality. I'm either a goo pod or a poo god. Ha ha ha ha. god. Good work. Well, in addition to over-herds that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us, our phone number is 1-844-779-7631. That one, ugh, Spypod1, like these people have. female clerk working and her young female friend was there just kind of keeping her company and they were, you know, kind of too cool for school kind of kids.

And I was making my purchase and on my way out, I didn't even like talk it until I heard her chime in. But McDonald's like a prayer was praying. And so it was the part, you know know when you call my name like I was totally poor I'm down I'm gonna just hear her say I want to kill myself good good no freaking way no freaking way no freaking way to you for when he was saying about it being like a cool convenience store, I was just like picturing somebody going up to buy something, they're like, oh, you're eating a Mars bar? Just getting bullied?

Yeah. Like, what's a cool convenience store? I don't know. What's a cool convenience store? You've got Blacklight, you're just, it's have loud music. I guess there are like, stores here that are like, have like imported, imported treats. Oh, right, yeah. I suppose you could call them a cool convenience store.

Like you can get, you know, every flavor of Prime. You can get potatoes? There are ones, not in the cool convenience stores, never. It's in like British Irish shops, you can get potatoes, and they're like five million dollars. Yeah. What are like British Irish shops you can get tatos and they're like five million dollars yeah what are the British Irish shops around here there's one in Kits called Celtic Treasure and it's like it is it's just insane looking at the prices of stuff knowing what they are are the employees uh I think he was English I actually can't remember when they're English I just delete them from my brain yeah so and I haven't there's another one as well I can't remember. When they're English, I just delete them from my brain. Yeah. And there's another one as well I can't remember. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm trying to think of the coolest convenience store I've ever been in. Max? Yeah, probably Max. Max was cool. There was a chain called Max for a while. Okay. Yeah.

It's been kind of absorbed by the Circle K corporation. Circle Ks, yeah. I think it's maybe still in Quebec as Couchetard. Yeah, Couchetard. Couchetard. Oh no, I think the coolest one was my buddy and I used to go to this one 7-Eleven and at the exact right time that the guy was gonna throw away

the hot dogs and put on fresh hot dogs. So we would go and get free hot dogs. He did throw them away, but you- you just jumped in front of the garbage can. If your mouth goes in front of the garbage can, you might luck out. And then I would just eat it like a seal. Like it just goes right down. And you would have your friend shoot ketchup and mustard in your mouth at the same time. Like the Matrix.

Yeah. In bullet time. Whenever someone says 7-Eleven, I think hot dogs. So I was just, when you said, I was like, 7-Eleven, hot dogs. And then you said, those hot dogs are interesting things. But when you're a teenager, you know, you can just eat it on a little bit of garbage. Glizzies. Did you?

Yeah. Glizzies. Yeah. We don't have them in Ireland, like hot dog. In 7-Eleven, 7-Eleven is open 24 hours, but it got its name because it opened at 7 a.m. and closed at 11 p.m. And anytime I was, when I was a kid, people like grownups would say,

oh, you know that, you know, it's not a, it didn't used to be open 24 hours. And I would be like, you old ass bitch. Yeah. And now you're like, here's a fun fact. Yeah, but I knew I was never, but it was only open those hours Are all of them 24 hours? Yeah, yeah in North America anyway. I don't think they exist anywhere else Oh, they're in Japan. They're in Japan. Oh, yeah, Thailand. Oh

That's not the way I got slurpee flavors that we only dream of slurpees I did like I had never filled my own. We have like slushies at home, right, but in Ireland, but I never did it. And it's brilliant. Like you're allowed to freestyle and do the rest of it. Yeah, you can mix them up yourself. And aw man. I remember when I was a kid, at Mac's they had the Froster's.

Well first of all, they had slush cats. Slush cats? Slush cats, what's a slush cat? Well, there were slush puppies and then a slush cat was basically a Slurpee with the logo of, Max was- He was a cat with a tam on. A tam-o-shan-ter on. And his name was Mac, it was Mac, apostrophe S.

And, but you had to go, the guy behind the counter had to fill it for you. He had to do it, okay. And it was really hard to, like, you had to, if you're shy, like me, it's asking a lot to get them to give you for you. And it was really hard to like, if you're shy like me, it's asking a lot to get them to give you two flavors. Yeah. Oh man.

And once a year, I think there's a day at 7-Eleven where you can bring your own container. So there's like a limit, like you can't, one year somebody brought a waiting pool and they were like, okay, well, technically we said anything and so we will let you fill up this waiting pool, but yeah. Yes, I've heard about this. You can fill whatever container and is that every year?

Yeah, it's July 7th or July 11th. Well, no, that's free Slurpee day. Oh, that's free Slurpee day. Yeah. Yeah, you are incorrect. Come on. Well, July 11th is 7-11. Right, yeah.

Check it out. That makes sense. I'm just... See, our dates are the other way around. I know. So I would never have clocked that. Right. Your 7-eleven would be November 7th. I had a fake

ID when I was in America. I was in like a college exchange in North Carolina when I was 20. And I went into this whiskey place and I handed over the license. It was such a bad fake ID, but Americans are very lovely people. So it worked everywhere. But yeah, I was in this whiskey bar and she was staring at it for ages. And I was like, oh, I'm going to get arrested. She knows this is fake.

And then something just clicked in my head. And I was like, oh, by the get arrested She knows this is fake and then something just like clicked in my head and I was like, oh by the way The date and the month are switched cuz I'm from Ireland and she just goes Good cuz I was about to ask you what the 18th month was Did you get me the whiskey? So according to 7-eleven.ca bring your own cup day. They don't have it this year,

but last year's was two days, March 22nd and 23rd. Wow. Here are the rules. It's $2.49. Dream it up, fill it up. Got a picture of somebody thinking of filling up a trophy. Yeah. And the rules are, size matters.

You're telling me. It must fit within 26 centimeters diameter. Okay. So that's 11 inches or so. The- Tiny. The cup rule, slurpy safe. The cup must be food safe and clean.

That's actually none of your business. Yeah. I want a dirty cup. It can be three quarters full of eggnog. Yeah, if you want none of your business. Yeah. It can be three quarters full of eggnog. Yeah, if you want to bring your own. Wow. And then leak proof, the cup has to be watertight. Yeah, I could see that building employees that having to mop up. Yeah, clean up a lot of that. So good. Yeah, like if you do have a trophy and the cup is actually not, the bottom is screwed on the base and it's not anyway how many calls

have we done just one just one guys hey Dave and Graham and fabulous guest I'm calling in with an overheard this is Gina in Falls Church Virginia and I was watching previews at the movies tonight and we saw the commercial for the Robbie Williams monkey movie that you have talked about. And the lady sitting next to me said very loudly, why is it rated R? What are they doing to the monkey? Love you guys. Yeah, I haven't seen it.

Well, it's not out. I think as of tomorrow here. I loved Ye explaining who Robbie, because like I grew up with Robbie Williams, take that all that. So Ye explaining it to Nikki was just so funny to me. Has it been that long? Nikki Mordar. Yeah. She's in the Lord of the Rings. She made it.

She was on, I don't know, eight weeks ago. Yeah. And she's your cohost on Soft for Us. Soft for Us. We've been talking about it that long. We still haven't seen it. I know. It's like one of those things

where the first trailer I saw it, I was obsessed, but I don't think I'm gonna go see it in the theater. I really wanna watch it, yeah. I am gonna see it in the theater because I think it's probably gonna win a bunch of Oscars. That's true. You wanna say you saw it win, yeah. Because as soon as I saw it, I see it. I am gonna see it in the theater because I think it's probably gonna win a bunch of Oscars Yeah, that's true. You want to say you saw it win? Yeah, because as soon as I saw I was like what the hell like what and then I was like, oh well But I'm too I haven't watched any interviews

But I'm thinking is that like he's like a performing monkey like his whole life right that I I don't know No, no, it's like the frail Also that I was like what? What these stars they're not like us? Yeah, not like us and here's your final I don't know, it's like the Pharrell Lego movie. Also, I was like, what? What? These stars, they're not like us. Yeah, not like us. And here's your final.

Hey, Dave Graham and possible guests. This is Scott in Denmark. I'm at Tivoli Gardens Amusement Park and was outside the Santa photo booth. And it had a sign saying that Santa had returned to Greenland and wished everyone a Merry Christmas. Two guys read that out loud, one muttered under his breath, lazy bastard. Off I go. As soon as he said Santa, I heard Fanta. Me too. And then I was thinking like, does Fanta do anything around Christmas that's Fanta Santa?

Oh wow. Yeah, it's just staring at them. Because it's done by Coke, which Santa is created like that image. See? All the more reason they should have done. Santa Fanta. I thought he said Fanta too. Right to your MP.

When I was going through the calls, I heard Santa, but just now I heard Fanta. Fanta, yeah. Go for it. But anyway, check out Tivoli Gardens in Copenhagen. It's right across from the train station. They got a great Rasmus Klump exhibit where you could see Rasmus Klump doing a show every hour on the hour. Nice.

Nice. We went twice when we went to Copenhagen last year. Oh, really? Cool. Okay. Shout out to, what's it called again? Tivoli Gardens. Tivoli Gardens. Tivoli.

I was going to say Wiggly Gardens. I was like, that's not right. Pfft. Different kind of place. Yeah. Oh yeah. Well, that brings us to the end of this here episode. Amy, thank you so much for being our guest.

Thank you for having me. This is class. Tell people where you can see the Big Dog Energy show. Oh, yes. Yeah. So if you follow us on Instagram, at Big Dog Energy Comedy, and then you can post about shows. The next one is 22nd of January in Little Man Gallery. And then we have another one in Cowdog Brewery on 31st of January. Also in Just For Last Festival on February 15th.

Nicely done. Okay. February 15th, that's 2.15 or 15.2 depending on what 2 15 or 15 2 depending on where you're in the world. And also you have a podcast that you're one of the hosts of. Which is Softros and you can find that on Instagram at softros and I think it's softrospod I can't remember her tag. And then my own Instagram is Amy Walsh Comedy. Okay all the the, we did it, all the plugs. And, well, go ahead. Oh, well, I just wanted to say, you mentioned the fires in Los Angeles earlier. Our thoughts are with everyone there.

We have a lot of listeners there, but we also have a lot of past guests there. Yeah, I was getting locations from people and saying, like, where are you? Luckily everyone I know is safe. Yeah, awful. Jesus. But yeesh, so scary.

Very terrifying. Um, I've got to get out of this here. I wanted to plug something as well. Each and every Thursday, I do the Laugh Gala at LMG. And on the 24th and 25th, I'm gonna be in Whitehorse, Yukon. Oh, fun! Doing a show at a place called the Boiler Room, and, uh, you know, that's gonna be the big ticket in town that night.

Come on, what else you got? You can only watch Northern Lights so many times when you get bored. So, yeah, it's gonna be a good time. My opener is Randy Neumeyer. Easily one of the funniest around, so come on out to that. And you know what? Come on back next time for another episode of Stop Bokasing Yourself. Maximum Fund, a worker-owned network of artist-owned shows, supported directly by you.